#so when he’s killed in what’s labelled an accident

[detective-piplup]

thinking about brian aurum again guys. also like beware the tags genuinely this time he has a bad time

[greenglowinspooks]

Honestly I think the fics where Danny’s a Kryptonian have a lot of potential, so here’s me throwing my hat into the ring

Danny was born a human. He was born to two loving (though slightly neglectful) human parents in the painfully mundane state of Illinois.

Then, he died, but he didn’t do it right. He became a Halfa; too alive to be a ghost, but too dead to be human.

Then, through strange, uncontrollable circumstances, that changed as well.

He had been heavily injured, missing a large percentage of body mass, and was at the cusp of either dying fully or just fading from existence.

(Perhaps it was an ordinary fight. Perhaps it was the GiW, or his parents. Perhaps it was a simple accident. That didn’t matter now.)

He fled, phasing through the ground, trying to bury himself as deep as possible.

(Perhaps he didn’t want to be unmasked in death. Perhaps that was already too late, and he just wanted his body be able to rest in peace.)

Unfortunately for him, he was in Metropolis, and ended up in a secret genetics lab below the earth.

Danny detransformed, completely exhausted, falling onto a table covered in different labeled specimen containers. He closed his eyes, and prepared himself for what would happen next.

And… nothing.

Slowly, cautiously, he opened his eyes.

Danny sat up, brushing off the foul-smelling liquid from the specimen jars, petri dishes, and assorted vials.

He felt…fine.

No, better than fine. He felt normal. Healthy.

He felt like he wasn’t missing most of his internal organs anymore.

Danny looked down at his stomach, and saw that the wounds that were killing him had completely disappeared.

(The blood blossoms, if there had been any, were still there, but they no longer hurt. At most, they itched a little, or maybe just tickled a bit.)

He wanted to question what in the hell had just happened, but he didn’t want to jinx it. He just quietly changed back to Phantom, going invisible and phasing out of wherever he had found himself in, ignoring the loud alarm system that had begun to blare when he broke the samples on that table.

Life mostly went back to normal after that.

If, like Danny, you ignored all the physical changes in a valiant effort to remain in denial that something was horribly wrong.

His skin was tougher, now; he didn’t get scrapes or cuts, even when he accidentally fumbled a knife while trying to cook. His ghost form was stronger, too; he was barely knocked down by his old rogues anymore.

He could fly, even in his human form. Though, admittedly, the flight was much different. It was like using a muscle he hadn’t known existed beforehand. He didn’t just ignore gravity or wind resistance, though he felt more graceful in the air now than he ever did as Phantom.

There were more powers popping up, lasers and cold breath, x-ray vision and super strength. His lungs and heart were larger, and he could handle temperatures much easier. He didn’t have to transform to handle the pressure and cold of space anymore.

His reaction time had improved, becoming much faster than ever before. His senses were much stronger, and he had even seemed to gain a sense of electric fields, like a shark.

The only thing that separated him from a Kryptonian was that he had developed electrokenesis, which he had never seen any of them use on TV.

So, surely, he was fine.

Everything was normal, he hadn’t been transformed by alien DNA in a sketchy lab, he had just had a really weird and specific metagene activation.

—

Clark Kent, Kal-El, was panicking.

It had been around a month and a half since a particularly brutal fight between Intergang and an unknown assailant, and it seemed that Intergang was determined to draw out whoever had scorned them.

Their method of doing this, of course, was trying to level the city.

He and Jon were doing their best to stop them, but with both Kon and Zor-El away on their own business, it was difficult.

And by difficult, he meant almost impossible.

Slowly but surely he was driving them back, but not without massive amounts of damage to the city, especially with only Jon on dedicated rescuing duty.

He was distracted, trying to draw a group away from a heavily occupied building, when a projectile hit him in the back of the head.

The world spun for a moment, and then it went black.

(It was, probably, then, some sort of Kryptonite-metal alloy. Intergang at its finest.)

He woke slowly, forcing his eyes open. He felt like he had been hit by an eighteen wheeler.

Clark jolted up, preparing for the worst.

To his shock, though, the city hadn’t been reduced to rubble while he was out.

Jon seemed to still be working on evacuation, either unaware that he had went down or forcing himself to focus on the task at hand.

Then, a lightning-quick figure flew into view, and Clark’s mind went blank.

He thought, for a moment, that Kara was back. But, no, that wasn’t right, she was supposed to be off-planet for another week or so.

Besides, this new figure didn’t move like her. They were lankier and more slender, and they flew quicker than any member of his family.

Their powerset was different, too; they focused mainly on using blasts of ice and electricity to drive enemies back, only occasionally using their strength or lasers—ones which came from their hands instead of their eyes.

He had woken up at the tail end of the fight, it seemed. The remaining Intergang members were fleeing from the mysterious metahuman.

They stayed in the sky, motionless, watching them leave.

As if they could sense him staring, they turned.

They were small, still clearly young. Probably around Kon’s age, or maybe even younger.

Instead of the colorful clothing he had inherited from his family, the stranger wore black and white clothes which looked similar to a hazmat suit, their face covered by some sort of gas mask.

Interestingly enough, instead of the S-shape crest that he was so used to seeing, the stranger wore the letter D on his chest.

Kal’s heart sped up.

From up in the sky, he heard the stranger’s heart, on the left instead of the right, speed up in return.

But before he could say a word to them, they sped off, disappearing into the deep blue sky.

[katsukistofu]

prickle me pink

contents ౨ৎ ⋆ k. bakugo x fem reader. fluff. ⭑ katsuki finds himself taking care of the cactus you gifted him against his better judgement.

It’s in the little things he does.

The sticky notes he leaves for you in the bento box he “accidentally” made an extra of and gives to you because he “ain’t wasting perfectly good food,” telling you to drink your damn water and that he’s proud of you, or that you look cute today.

Your favorite snack and a juicebox on your desk in the morning before the bell rings, which you swear you’ve only mentioned liking once and it was when you first met.

Whenever he fusses over your jacket when it’s cold outside and insists you hold hands with him, saying it’s “more work for him if you get sick.” Yet the way he takes off his scarf to wrap you up in its warmth is devastatingly gentle, despite his coarse scoldings.

Homemade chocolates shoved into your hands the moment you arrive at school every single White Day without fail, ignoring the stares from envious onlookers as he tugs you by the hand to walk you to class. The bandaids, only the cute character ones because you’re a stubborn brat who won’t wear anything else no matter how bad you get hurt, and ointment he keeps in his school bag.

Because he knows how accident prone you can be and it drives him insane whenever he sees a new scratch or bruise come from out of nowhere when you were fine moments ago.

Katsuki’s always been meticulous about everything in his life, and that includes loving you.

So the confusion on his face is almost humorously palpable as he squints at the cactus you randomly place in front of him in class one day.

“What is this?” Your boyfriend grumbles, holding his notebooks and pencil case in his hands. “Taking up space on my desk.”

“Suki!” You pout. “That’s mean. I bought this cactus.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Because…?”

“‘Cause it reminds me of you!”

The fuck does that even mean, it reminds you of him? This short, misshapen, stubby little thing that needed to be buried in dirt to even stand up on its own? Katsuki snorts, his amusement only growing at the sight of your deepening worried frown.

As if he would ever throw away anything from you. He’d rather take one of his own explosions to the face.

“Thanks, I guess.” Is all he says, his hand coming down to give a strong pat to your head. It was kind of ugly, but whatever. Hell, it was a gift from you that you specifically got for him, and honestly that’s all that mattered. “I’ll take care of it.”

You beam up at him from under his palm, and his heart clenches. “Really?”

“Yeah. Now go sit your ass down and take out that homework I know you forgot to do last night.”

“Yessir!” You mock salute and hurry over to your seat, opening up your shoulder bag.

Denki grimaces as he passes by, pointing at the new green addition to the blond boy’s desk. “Ew Bakugo, what is that?”

“Shut up, Dunce Face.” Katsuki scowls, protectively moving the pot closer to him. “Your eyes are getting shittier than Glasses’.”

Mina laughs as Denki sulks, now in his own seat, and glances over to where he was pointing at. “Ooh, it’s actually pretty cute!”

“Damn right it is.”

Katsuki’s lips curve slightly in pride, crimson eyes flickering over to your direction where you were hunched over scribbling on paper with scrunched up eyebrows, trying to do some problems on your own while you wait for him to come over. Fuck, you’re cute, he thinks.

“That’s ‘cause my girl picked it.”

After class, Katsuki finds himself googling “how to not kill a cactus” for the first time in his life and of course it’s because of you.

His brow raises as he scans the gardening article on his phone screen.

He’s no green thumb but he’s had some experience and it was pretty easy to keep a plant alive, but just to make sure. Half of it is information he already knows, put your cactus in a good spot to get sunlight, water it once a week, yada yada.

But what catches his eye is the section labeled “Flowering Cacti.”

So they could bloom depending on the species, and only under very nit-picky conditions, like cool to warm temperature fluctuations and specific pollinators. Interesting.

Hopefully he wouldn’t have to wrangle a bat to get some flowers to grow on it, though he could probably ask that animal-talking extra to help.

“Katsuki!” Something tackles him from behind and he barely budges, already knowing it’s you. It’s muscle memory at this point, the feeling of your soft body against his, etched into the molecules of his skin from all those times you’d sneak into his dorm past curfew to cuddle and how you always fell asleep on him during class field trips, not to mention plane rides.

You peer over his broad shoulder like a hamster peeking out of their hidey hole. “What are you looking at?”

“Nosy.” Katsuki snorts, holding up his phone to your face. Deliberately only showing the guide on how to care for cacti indoors, and not the flowering one. He doesn’t want you to see it, not yet.

─────────

You’re in your boyfriend’s dorm room several days later, finally finishing the last problem on the new sheet of homework you got from Ectoplasm’s class. Bakugo hovers over you to scan your equations, finally giving a satisfied nod.

A jolt of pride courses through him. You got all of them right, just like how he taught you.

“Good job.” Katsuki pats your head and your heart soars. You tilt your head up to give a little smooch to his palm and he blushes, jerking his hand back.

“The fuck?” He laughs, grabbing your wrist and pinning it to his mouth in retaliation, pressing a painstakingly soft kiss there, then to your palm too. Katsuki smirks at the way he makes you shakily exhale at his touch. “What was that for?”

“Nothing.” An almost drowsy, content smile spreads across your lips. “Just love you so much.”

"Stop trying to one up me,” Katsuki rasps in your ear. You yelp as his hands squeeze your hips hard, holding onto his toned arms to steady yourself.

“Not trying to! Just telling the truth.” You keep looking at him with a cute, dumb grin on your face, and his breath catches.

Your eyes widen as you sneak a glance at his desk.

“Woah! Katsuki Jr. got taller.”

He snorts, turning his head to also look at the cactus that’s been sitting under his lamp for the past week. “Katsuki Jr.?”

“Yeah because you guys have the same hair.” You exaggerate a dreamy sigh, reaching up to caress his cheek. “He really takes after you, Katsuki Sr.”

“Shut up, dumbass.” He nudges your cheek with his nose, drinking up the delicious sounds of your giggles.

“Can I sit in your lap now?” You ask shyly.

With an eye roll, Katsuki holds his arms out for you to claim the reward he proposed earlier for this study session. “Get over here already.”

His arms wrap comfortably around your waist as you settle in your usual spot between his firm thighs, and he drops his head down and brushes a soft kiss against the crook of your neck.

“I love you too.” The pink blossoming across his cheeks contradicts his gruff tone, but you’ve known him too long to not know better.

Katsuki Bakugo is meticulous in loving you, and that means he never says anything he doesn't mean.

─────────

The vibrations in the pocket of his slacks are becoming so incessant that he can’t ignore them anymore and Katsuki sighs under his breath as he slips it out while Aizawa’s turned to the board to write something.

ass gremlin

sukiiiii

ass gremlin

katsudonnnnn

ass gremlin

kitkattttt

katsu curry

What

ass gremlin

send me pics of our baby pls i wanna see how tall he is now

katsu curry

?

That cactus you bought me two weeks ago

ass gremlin

duh!!!

katsu curry

Later

In my room before we go out

ass gremlin

YAYYAYAY

can u help me pick my outfit too

katsu curry

Duh

We’re matching dumbass

Katsuki’s behind you with a firm hand on your waist to hold you in place when you smirk at the window sill, and he looks up to see that you’re admiring Katsuki Jr.

The cactus was an even more vibrant shade of green than when you first gave it to him, and small, delicate pink flowers were starting to bloom on its fuzzy head.

It took a lot of effort to get those to start growing, but it was all worth it to see the delighted expression on your face right now.

“So you really have been taking care of him like he’s your kid, huh?”

“Our kid.” He corrects you with a grumble against your neck, easily zipping up the back of your dress in one smooth motion. “Told you I would, didn't I? Thing was a pain in the ass to find high potassium fertilizer for.

“Aw, really?” You turn around to face him and he brings you closer as your arms rest on his broad shoulders. “Well… you know how it’s better to have two cats than one, since just one kitty can make them feel lonely?”

He knows that look. Katsuki scowls, roughly poking a dent into your cheek to discourage the mischievous grin that's starting to spread across your face.

“You’ll never guess what I got you for our anniversary.”

“No.”

“But Katsuki Jr.!”

“I raised that little shit, he’ll tough it out.”

“I just thought maybe we could get him a sibling—“

“No.”

ur contact name is ass gremlin bc u have bad habit of smacking his butt when he walks by lol

[im-subtextsexual]

I’m glad so many people picked up on the vibes between Eloise and Cressida. Not a ship I ever considered before, but the tension was palpable. I’ve been a Queer Eloise truther since reading the books. Her portrayal on the show only made it more obvious in my mind. I didn’t think the writers would ever go there, but the set up is just so explicit, now I’m not sure. I don’t think they’d actually make Eloise / Cressida canon, but I do think they’re testing the waters for wlw Eloise. And it makes perfect sense. 

First off, the character is queer (I’ll hold off from labeling her a lesbian outright, because there’s definitely room for other identities like bi, demi, ace…. etc.) Even in the books. I legitimately think Julia Quinn accidentally wrote a sapphic character and then didn’t know what to do with her. So what we got is “To Sir Phillip, With Love”, widely considered to be one of the worst in the series. Believe me, if there’s any story that could stand to deviate from the books, it’s this one. And the story could so easily be adapted to a wlw romance, it would be a wasted opportunity not to do it. Like… the story would be better if they tweaked it to fit a queer canon. AND it could be done in a historically accurate way to shut up the naysayers that “a lesbian storyline wouldn’t fit in this universe.” How? Allow me to explain.

*SPOILERS FOR BRIDGERTON SERIES BOOK 5*

In the book, Eloise strikes up a correspondence with Sir Phillip Crane. Yes, THAT Phillip, the one currently married to Marina from season 1&2. Marina kills herself because she can’t stand to be married to Phillip and deal with their children in the wake of her lover / his brother’s death. His initial interest in Eloise is to find a mother for his children. She is intrigued by his intelligence and decides she doesn't want to be alone, but isn’t necessarily eager to marry or have a family. Due to romance novel shenanigans, she runs away to Phillip's house and is forced to marry him. Even as they grow to kind of love each other, it's far from some grand romance. It’s the very definition of “settling”. The most interesting part is the narrative structure of their story being told through letters in the beginning. We could keep all that, but make it gay. 

*Imagine*

Eloise meets some dapper gentlemen new to the marriage mart. We’ll call him Emmett. Very little is known about Emmett and his family as they keep largely to themselves at their estate in the countryside. The only thing that’s widely known is the family suffered a tragic accident where the man of the house and his oldest daughter died, leaving his son (the other twin) to take on the responsibility of rank and title very early. Emmet is making a rare appearance in London to find a wife (there are rumors of stipulations in his inheritance requiring a match). ALL the debutantes are fawning over him because he’s mysterious and extraordinarily good-looking. One might even say “pretty”… To everyone’s great surprise the season’s most eligible bachelor takes a special interest in Eloise after overhearing her talking about her disdain for the social convention of marriage, and how she would only consider it if it were an in-name-only, marriage of convenience. Emmett strikes up a conversation with Eloise and she is taken by his humor, wit and shockingly deep empathy for the limitations society puts on women. They continue to gravitate to each other through the first few events of the season, but Emmett has to return home suddenly because of a family emergency. Eloise is shocked to find herself disappointed, but they promise to write. Cue the correspondence romance.

Eloise grows more and more smitten with Emmett every letter she receives, but still has the same reservations about marriage especially when she thinks of the intimacy a relationship like that would require. When Emmett hints that he may want more than friendship, Eloise's feelings get the better of her and she goes to visit Emmett unannounced. He is shocked to see her, but let's her stay and she gets to know his mother and two younger sisters. The Bridgertons go looking for Eloise, worried something has happened to her. When she is found to have been staying for days in an unwed man's home without a chaperone, the potential scandal causes Anthony to force Eloise and Emmett to marry. Surprisingly, Emmett actually agrees so Eloise does too (all of this is essentially what happens in the book).

Eloise confesses to Emmett that she's nervous/resistant to physical intimacy, but he assures her they never have to be together that way. In fact, he would prefer the marriage of convenience they always talked about. Eloise is relieved until their kiss at the wedding sparks an attraction she wasn't expecting. They spend the first month or so of their marriage sleeping in separate rooms, enjoying each other's company, and letting the tension build. One night, Eloise's control and curiosity finally snaps and she goes to Emmett's room to initiate a physical relationship. She catches Emmett off guard in his sleeping clothes which makes it VERY clear... Emmett is a woman (cliffhanger of episode 4, and where we deviate from book canon to make it queer).

After the initial shock, Eloise allows her new "husband" to explain. Emmett is really Emma, the daughter believed to have died in a carriage accident with her father so many years ago. It was her twin brother that actually died, but since there were no other male heirs, Emma's family fortune would have gone to a distant uncle who is cruel and abusive. To save them of that fate, Emma's mother conspired with the local coroner to make it look like Emma was the one who died, so "Emmett" could inherit everything. Emma has been living as Emmett ever since, successfully keeping up the deception by keeping a low profile in society. The only reason Emma came to London that year is because her uncle died, and a cousin had come around asking questions hoping to inherit. She thought getting married would help secure her identity as Emmett and the cousin would back off. At first Eloise is outraged. She feels betrayed by Emma's duplicity, and is terrified if any of this ever got out everyone they know would be ruined forever. She agrees to keep the secret to save her family's reputation, but shuns Emma. Eventually, Emma (already aware that she's in love with Eloise) attempts to make amends and Eloise is charmed enough that she relaxes back into the relationship they had before the Big Reveal. The only problem is the attraction is still there, even more so now that Eloise knows the truth. Things come to a head, and they go at it Bridgerton style.

Emma and Eloise live happily in a true marriage for a bit until Cressida and Penelope come for a visit. They both find out about Emma, but are sworn to secrecy. Pen easily swears her loyalty (having already suspected Eloise), but Cressida is sickened. In a rage, she threatens to out them all, and storms back to London. Eloise follows her and begs Cressida to keep the secret, and tries to explain why the "wrong" feelings she has for Emma are very right for her. To Eloise's surprise, Cressida isn't upset about what she's doing with Emma, but who she's doing it with. She didn't know what they're doing was an option; that she was an option. Cressida confesses that if she'd known a life with Eloise was a choice she could make, it's the life she would have chosen. Eloise lets Cressida down easy by explaining they didn't have that choice. Everyone in the ton knows who they are. The only reason her relationship with Emma works is because of the ruse that allows Emma to be Emmett. Cressida takes this in stride, and vows to keep the secret, but her mother overhears and causes the biggest scandal London Society has ever seen.

The Bridgertons and a few friends (like Lady Danbury) are as understanding as possible, but the rest of the ton is rabid. Things escalate to the point where Emma and Eloise have to appear before the Queen. Emma pleads her case about pretending to save her family, and insists that Eloise didn't know until well after they were married so she's innocent. Eloise can't help herself and gets on her soapbox about the way society limits women, and that the Queen should understand their plight. Shockingly, she does. She annuls their "marriage" (because they didn't consummate anything... RIGHT?!) but she agrees to let Emma control her family's estate until one of her sisters produces a male heir. After that, she and Eloise will receive a pension from the Crown so they can live independently (the real Queen Charlotte actually did this for suspected historical sapphic couple The Ladies of Llangollen). Since Emma and Eloise would never be able to find husbands now, they decide that they'll just be two spinsters growing old together in their house in the countryside. You know... just two gal pals. No one believes that shit, but they rarely interact with the ton, so they're largely left alone to live as they please.

Happy ending, close to canon, historically accurate, and super gay. It's not that hard. You're welcome.

[jackiepackiee]

After seeing your recent post I'mSending in my request Love!!

How would the bad men take care of their wife who get amnesia due to blood loss which resulted by being shot by a pistol or gets into an accident during a mission.

You have the free dom to make it like a one shot or head canon for these men

Dazai, Kunikida, aktugawa, fyodor, Nikolai, and Chuuya

Other than that take care love!! Make sure to stay hydrated! 💞💞

𝐵𝒮𝒟 𝓍 𝒜𝓂𝓃𝑒𝓈𝒾𝒶! 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇

𝒲/ 𝒟𝒶𝓏𝒶𝒾, 𝒦𝓊𝓃𝒾𝓀𝒾𝒹𝒶, 𝒞𝒽𝓊𝓊𝓎𝒶

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 - 𝓋𝒾𝑜𝓁𝑒𝓃𝒸𝑒

𝒯𝓎𝓅𝑒 - 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒸𝒶𝓃𝑜𝓃𝓈

CHUUYA NAKAHARA

Absolutely mortified

He has memory loss to (from the lab and Araharbaki) and knows how much it can mess with a person

He wants the best for you, and this clearly isn’t that

He fears in his heart and soul that you might question your humanity like he did so he will kill before that happens to you

Back to the mission itself

He hates for you to do solo missions, but Mori’s call is Mori’s call at the end of the day

Even if you weren’t alone, he only trusts a handful of people with your protection

Black lizard, all the executives, and the ADA if it’s during an alliance

But no, you weren’t with a safe group

So when you got hurt (which was not expected, Mori wouldn’t send you on something just to hurt you duh) he was PISSED

Wiped out the enemy in seconds

Yelled at Mori as to why he didn’t just send Chuuya instead

When you’re in the hospital, he waits outside

He would hate to scare you

I mean, he’s pissed and he knows you hate when he raises his voice to any level

But… all hell breaks loose when he finds out you have amnesia

Pushes right past the doctors and doors

If you forget him… he’s flipping tables and going to find whoever hurt you and actually kill them this time

He’s inconsolable

You’re his love, and to forget that is a pain of death

He may not visit you much at first, but he’ll come around

If you do remember him, he’ll take the biggest sigh of relief ever

Hugs you

And believe me, he will buy whatever therapy, drug, or surgery that will help you

Helps you relearn everything important

For your wedding, he had to put on your wedding dress and pretend to walk down the isle to maybe make you remember

Cried at how beautiful you looked

Labels images in the house by event, person in the photo, and date

So you can know what special moments you’ve had

A sliver lining is that he can take you on a tour of the city, showing you all the sights for what for you is the first time

And you forget all the gore and pain you’ve seen in the port mafia

Over all, he’s coping, but he’ll come around and help

DAZAI OSAMU

He is a changed man from the port mafia past, but he almost forgets his resolve

Never has he doubted your skill, it’s the absolute terror and pain he knows other people wouldn’t hesitate to inflict on you that he fears

He’s seen it first hand

So when you’re completely alone on a mission he sorta freaks out

Less jokes, no suicide attempts till you’re back

But… you aren’t back soon?

And when you’re finally back, it’s with Kenji crying and using his super strength to carry you to Yosano

The poor boy was so scared, he had found you while looking at the local park

Safe to say, Dazai was frozen in place at the blood that has trailed from the door to Yosano’s office

He was mad. But not yelling

No, he was calculated and cold

He walked to Fukuzawa’s office, and asked for the enemy name

No one knows what happened in the 30 minutes he was gone…

Back to you, he knocks and talked with Yosano for a while

When he heard you had amnesia, it was the first time she saw him so vulnerable

“Does she remember me?” “I don’t know, Dazai.”

Walked in slowly

If you remember him, he’ll immediately give you a hug

Knowing that is enough for him

But if you forget?

I hate to say this, but he may try to distance himself

“You got your chance with in, and look at what ended up happening” is this thought process

But, he’ll visit Oda’s grave and think it over

He knows then that you need him

You need your husband, your Osamu

So the next few days is him having you help with cases he knows the criminal, but wants your mind to have a workout

Doesn’t try for any affection because he knows you may be to weak

When you finally kiss again, he has never put more passion into anything

During his time of caring for you he doesn’t make a single comment about suicide

After losing your beautiful memories and mind, he can’t imagine losing you

Your life is like a glass, held by his slim hands

And he’ll kill before anyone does this to you again

KUNIKIDA DOPPO

Kunikida is often “serious”, but Dazai can attest he’s never seen him so truly and utterly serious before

Not in his scolding, fatherly way

But in a cold, quiet way

He doesn’t even touch his book for at least a week

Thinks ideals make so sense now that his wife is hurt

And he didn’t stop it

When he first found out, he dropped his book

He clutched his ring to his chest

Walks into the room you’re saying in slowly

“Love? Do you… remember me?” “Sorry, love? Please don’t call me that, sir.”

Tears fall, but he wipes them before you can get concerned

Even if you don’t know him anymore, he knows with your kind heart you’ll comfort a crying stranger

And he wants to be the one comforting you

He tries his best to explain everything

Showing his ring, the photo of the two of you he keeps in his wallet, and even has Yosano confirm it

He doesn’t cope well…

OR

“Love? Do you… remember me?” “Kuni… hi.”

Hides his face in his hands

He has never been more happy in his life

Rushes to you and kisses your hand

Now, he still has to teach you life again

And who better than an ex teacher?

He’s so patient

Uses cute little techniques

He is… okay

I mean, he wants you to be okay

You will definitely heal the fastest with him

He spares all his free time into helping you

Makes little drawings in his notebook for you to learn objects again

And, he readjusts his schedule! All for you

Only for you

[briebysabs]

I find it fascinating how much orv makes Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk live by the constraints of “reader” and “protagonist”. Like KDJ wants to see the ending but at the same time, he doesn’t and wishes the story would never end. Not simply because he loves this story but because he needs it like oxygen; TWSA gave him a purpose. He was its reader for 13 years and you notice KDJ never talks of what he’ll do after the scenarios until towards the end. There’s even a moment between him and Sangah where he ponders what he would’ve done if the novel never became reality. If he read the ending, closed his phone, and went back to his apartment. He contemplates if he would’ve killed himself, KDJ knows at least the sad truth that he wouldn’t have befriended Sangah. He’d never reconciled with his mother, he was getting laid off from his job in two days. From 15 to 28 TWSA was the only lifeline he had so think about it. What becomes of a reader when the story is over? One can discern, based on SP and OD’s conclusion, it is to find a new story. But Kim Dokja couldn’t bear to do that. To continue on, he needed to be a reader.

Lee Sookyoung wrote her novel to gain income for KDJ’s living but also to paint herself as the murderer. To sink the lie into KDJ’s head that she was the one wielding the knife. If the traumatized 12-13 years old Kim Dokja knew he killed his father by accident and his mother took the fall for him, KDJ would’ve killed himself. No doubt the guilt would kill him so LSK felt as though she had to do this. So that KDJ’s self-hatred would be aimed at her instead. She made her son a reader of his own life. It temporarily saves him, gives him some time but KDJ is still given a label “a son of a murderer”. His trauma was publicized and hyperfocused on, he was bullied excessively for it. That book is one of the factors that led to his first suicide attempt. So it doomed him.

HSY wrote TWSA to keep Kim Dokja alive. A desperate attempt to save a kid with one foot prepared to leap off a cliff. What else could she have done? She created characters that KDJ could aim his self-hatred at: Kim Namwoon, Anna Croft, the constellations, Nirvana. She made him a reader of a character’s life. Made him inject YJH’s essence through his veins like an IV drip. Of course, Kim Dokja wants Yoo Joonghyuk to be happy in the end. That is the main driving force between so many decisions he makes but where does leave him? The whole reason he attached himself to TWSA was because this protagonist was suffering too. But he kept on living round by round so surely, they could live through their shitty lives together. If the TWSA ended on that train, KDJ would truly be alone and might’ve killed himself. So what happens, the novel comes to life and gives him even more time. But because of that, later down the line KDJ will make the choice to become the Oldest Dream, a watcher for all eternity. Yes, KimCom’s world needed someone to dream for it to exist but even if that wasn’t necessary ... .do you think KDJ would have enjoyed a happily ever after discovering he was behind all their pain and tribulations? The guilt might’ve killed him, we saw some of that with his visceral reaction to OD. So it doomed him.

Kim Dokja has to be a reader.

Yoo Joonghyuk was created for Kim Dokja. This isn’t a shipping statement, this is just a fact. I think it’s foolish to believe that is all there is to his character, he’s his own individual and his journey throughout orv is keeping his autonomy and gaining agency. Outside of what he’s written to behave like or KDJ’s will for him. But his life’s purpose is to keep Kim Dokja alive. HSY wrote each of his regressions to save this one person. And this is where the 0th turn YJH comes in because he makes the decision to regress. He was happy in his world, that is true but he couldn’t truly rest because something was missing. Everything was idle, every day was peaceful after saving the world. But while yeah, KDJ was reading his story as always…he wasn’t being the protagonist. YJH needs to do something, he needs a goal to accomplish so he gives himself one. He regresses for three reasons: To meet his sponsor aka his reader Kim Dokja. To find out his purpose, what he was made for….which is to save Kim Dokja. And finally to fulfill his sense of self which is being a protagonist. Reaching self actualization and being an active force in the world around him. So fast forward when Kim Dokja’s fragments are scattered across the universe and the scenarios are over, why is it surprising that YJH falls into depression? Why is it surprising that he goes to HSY in the museum and seriously asks her to end his life? What becomes of a protagonist when there’s no one to read his story? What use is there for him? So of course he’ll be the one to venture on this suicide mission to space, hopping from one worldline to the next, grasping onto the fragile hope that KDJ can come home.

Yoo Joonghyuk has to be a protagonist.

[mjolnirswriststrap]

Just Another Notch

Masterlist Part 2/?? Part 3

Bucky Barnes x Plus Size F!Reader

Summary: If Bucky thinks his charms will work on you, then you’re gonna put up one hell of a fight to prove him wrong.

Word Count: 1,711

Warnings: None, but will contain explicit content 18+, in future chapters, read at your own discretion.

Your alarm didn’t wake you, it was a loud knocking at your door. You jump up, tapping your phone screen to see that it was only 6am. Now you’re gonna be groggy all morning, your alarm was set for 6:45. You trudge to your door, ready to rip down whoever it was that woke you up. When you open the door you see Bucky with bright eyes, two coffees in hand. You quickly read the label and see that it’s your favorite cafe in Brooklyn. How did he get coffee from there this early?

“Good morning.” He chirps out, reaching one of the paper cups forward. You cross your arms in front of you, refusing the coffee. “How can I help you?” You say curtly. You take in his attire, he was ready for training. You could almost laugh, him and Steve take their sponsorships too seriously, can’t be seen exercising in anything other than Under Armor.

“I still felt bad about last night and thought, maybe I could repay you by helping you get a head start today.” The smirk on his lips did nothing to ease your agitated mood. “I said we’re even, it’s fine.” You say, wondering if he was being genuine. It was far too early for all of this. You rub your sleep filled eyes, pushing your hair behind your ears. “Anything else?” You say, wanting to get some more sleep before the day of literal hell you were about to endure. Physically, you were the apex, but mentally and strategically, not so much.

You couldn’t wield a gun, you’d been studying a makeshift dictionary of all the military terms Steve and Bucky say during missions. You couldn’t take directions. Besides overpowering the strongest guy in Kansas during a championship, you’d never learned how to combat fight. You have no clue where to hit someone or how hard so you don’t do fatal damage. You were written up on your first mission.

Your adrenaline was pumping and you thought the gunman was bigger than what he was, causing you to dent his chest in, instantly killing him. The punch was meant to lay him out, not kill him. You’d been reminded time and time again during initial training that the goal was to subdue, shield rehabilitates these criminals.

So now training was mainly a mental game for you. Sizing people up, you were no use against magicians or witches but physically, you worked hard to discern people’s capabilities. You’d never trained with Bucky or Steve before. You’d never fought against a super soldier, you couldn’t even imagine their strength. Therefore, you’d never opted to train with them.

“No, I’m sorry for waking you.” He says, his eyes tell a completely different story. But you hear some sincerity in his voice. Maybe you were being too harsh to him. He really hadn’t done anything wrong, yet. You were the one who assumed he was drunk, you were the one who enjoyed him innocently helping you clean his mess. If you put aside all your wild ideas, Bucky had actually been very nice to you.

While no one had made any progress in talking to you or really even introducing themselves, Bucky was willing to sit with you and enjoy a bowl of cereal, alone. No other outside force willing him to be there. He’d apologized after spilling milk on you, helped clean it. He wasn’t even looking, and you were speed walking behind him, what if it truly was just an accident. Here you were being rude to the only person who’s shown you kindness.

You wanted to hit yourself. Mentally you were painting your back porch red. Guilt was slowly filling you as you watch him drop his head, nodding as if he’s finally realizing the situation, you wanted him to leave. But not anymore, “Let me get dressed, 5 minutes!” You wait for him to look up at you before you close the door in his face, you could see his smile return, but this time it looked triumphant and genuine.

You want to play this game with him, you knew that much. So why not make a big move and wear your new sports bra set with matching spandex shorts. You’d never worn just a sports bra, and always wore leggings. Your best friend convinced you that you looked good in it, so Nike gladly took your money. This would surely prove your suspicion, were his intentions innocent?

You looked in the mirror, pushing and pulling at your breast in the tight spandex. Your cleavage had to be perfect for this to work. You rolled down the waistband of the shorts, letting it show off your curves. You run to the bathroom to do your morning routine. Walking out of your door in less than the 5 minutes you estimated. You had no idea why you had such a pep in your step. As if you were rushing back to him.

“Thanks.” You say taking the coffee from his hands. He stands there frozen as you turn for the elevator, he watches your ponytail sway across your shoulders, then he lets his eyes travel down, to see your back dimples on display. This one he would fight for, his improvised plan didn’t work last night, he’ll admit his ego was hurt a little by his advances not working. So he gave you another chance with coffee this morning.

It almost didn’t work, he was showing real sadness when you rejected him again, but out of self pity, not because you were being rude. But it worked, and you folded. Judging by the way you’re dressed, he knew you were playing along with him. He would win in the end, he always does. Besides, you’d be an adversary opponent and the best prize.

You wish you could’ve told him black coffee wasn’t really your style, but you had too much pride, sipping it empty on the way down to the training floor. Bucky would probably go left to the gym, and you’ll go right, to the simulation room. It was handy for someone like you. Training with real people was a liability, so holograms it was. “See you later.” You nod to him.

“Where you going? I thought we were training together.” He sounds disappointed. “Oh you meant like the two of us? I thought it was a wake up call, not an invite.” You scratch the back of your neck, kind of embarrassed. “I figured you could use the change of scenery.” He laughs.

You follow him into the gym, a place you’d only been once, during the orientation tour. It was huge, needing the capacity to handle super hero’s being thrown around. Bucky walks over to a bench, setting down his coffee cup and shedding his windbreaker jacket. You toss your empty cup in the trash can beside the door, slowly walking up to him. “So what did you have in mind?” You ask, nervous as to what exactly you had gotten yourself into.

“First some basic warm up drills, then I figured I could help you with that strength depth perception.” He grabs two jump ropes from the wall and tosses one your way. “Fury was worried about you at the last meeting.” You roll your eyes, of course he was.

“I didn’t know you discussed me at meetings.” You say, starting to jump rope. He joins you a second later, going miles faster than you. “We discuss everything, especially things that could be a liability.”. He wasn’t wrong, it rubbed you wrong that you couldn’t defend yourself at these meetings. But you understood why they did it, you killed a man.

“Right.” You huff out, stopping and dropping the jump rope, you had no endurance. Bucky continues for another minute, the rope turning into a blur as it whizzed around him. You ran the track around the perimeter of the gym, till you legs felt like jelly. Again, Bucky kept going, literally running laps around you.

When he came to a jog in place in front of you, you took in the fact that no sweat had formed on his brow, meanwhile you left a puddle in the floor when you stood up. “Okay, let’s start with defense.” He brings his fist to face level and you match his stance. “We both know you have offense covered. But what about protecting yourself. Other people are strong too.” He made a good point.

You had beginners luck, dodging the first punch Bucky threw at your stomach. The second, not so much. You suck in a breath when his metal fist makes contact with your rib. “You’re supposed to block!” He sounds upset, like he was the one who just got hurt. “Yeah I got that.” You wheeze out, dropping to your knees, clutching your stomach.

Just as you’ve almost composed yourself the door to the gym swings open. “Are you ready for complete destruction, son?” It’s Steve walking in, but his face immediately drops when he sees you. “Excuse me.” He’s obviously embarrassed. You just look at Bucky and try to hold in a laugh. “Seriously?” You whisper, his cheeks are red but he nods.

“I’ll take that as my cue.” You say, waddling over to the vending machine in the corner. The blue on the Aquafina label reflected in your eye. You’re gonna die if you don’t get a drink. You tap your Apple Watch to the card reader, typing in A5, as you watch your water bottle be mechanically maneuvered around through a glass window you hear whispering. “She needs a snack already?”

You don’t know who said it, just that someone did, you didn’t turn around. Preferring to pretend it didn’t happen, you grab the water from the machine, drinking the whole thing in a couple chugs. You smash it between your hands, completely flattening it to the width of paper. It was loud, the cracking of the plastic, it silenced their hushed words. As you toss it into the trash can beside the door, you turn around and address both men.

“Thirst and hunger are two different things, wouldn’t you say?” And you leave, pushing past Natasha in the hallway as you make your way to the simulation room.

Taglist: @cjand10 @winterslove1917 @honestlywork @calwitch

[hannieehaee]

18+ / mdi

content: thor au, mingyu has superhuman strength (he's literally a god so), mingyu's kinda a dick, re-imagined plot of the first thor movie for fanfic purposes, mentions of movie characters, afab reader, smut, penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 2203

a/n: thor was my favorite marvel movie growing up so i loved doing this!!! tysm to the person who requested this and im soooo sorry it took me so long T-T also i havent watched the movies in forever so im so sorry for inaccuracies </3

masterlist

mingyu wasnt too sure where he was.

just moments ago he had been fighting with his younger brother, loki, scolding him over yet another mischievous act, but now he was in the middle of nowhere. well, at least that was going off of his surroundings. in the distance, he could see various signs detailing the foreign words 'new mexico'.

he had just been wandering aimlessly around the desert, not paying too much attention to his surroundings as he tried to make sense of where he was. that was until his entire body was pushed forward by a massive object, making him lose most of his ability to process what just had happened. he was only slightly lucid as he laid limp on the ground, barely processing the girl looking down on him, completely freaked out at having just ran over a man in the middle of nowhere. without putting much of a fight, he allowed you and your friend to struggle your way as you dragged him into the back of your van, probably not wanting to leave any evidence that you'd almost committed homicide.

unfortunately for you both, he passed out quickly after that, not allowing you to confirm any information about him, nor giving you a chance to stumble your way through an apology for almost killing him.

seeing as you almost cost him his life, you decided to bring him to your laboratory, where you would let him rest until he was conscious enough for you to find a way to make it up to him. your friend darcy left you on your own, claiming it wasn't much of her problem since you had been the one driving when you crashed into him.

as you waited for him to wake up, you wondered how and why he had survived your van crashing into him. i mean, he didn't sustain any injuries, simply passing out from the impact. he had even left damage on the van itself upon the crash. looking at him, you realized he was very fit, with muscles bulging from the strange armor he had on. you hadn't questioned any of this until now, being mostly freaked out by almost killing him, but it was all now making you wonder the logistics of the situation.

you didn't have too much time to think, as he began to stir, groaning a bit before actually waking up. he jumped in place upon realizing he was in unfamiliar surroundings, staring at you with wide eyes as he backed away a bit.

"hey-"

"you! who are you? where am i?"

"listen, you might be a bit disoriented after the accident, you're in-"

"new mexico? right? i saw a sign earlier today."

"yeah, it's-"

"okay, but where is new mexico? i need to get back to asgard. how can i manage that?"

"asgard? listen, you must be going through a psychic episode, just let me-"

"stay away! i demand you tell me where i am!"

jesus christ, this man was stubborn. not once sentence could leave your lips before he was making demands. he didn't even give you a chance to apologize either. you weren't sure what he meant by his blabbering, which was still going on by now. asgard? was he hallucinating about norse mythology? had you rendered this man insane?

"we're in new mexico! right by texas? are you okay? you seem kind of disoriented. i'm so sorry about what happened, i-"

"my armor! you damaged it with your machine!", he finally looked down at the scratches and missing bits of his armor, eyes widening once more.

he got up from his spot, marching around your laboratory and grabbing at things with curiosity. he eventually came across your globe, reading out the label before gasping loudly.

"earth?! loki told me of this place. that means you're a human," he was mostly speaking to himself before turning to finally direct himself at you, "human. i am mingyu, the god of thunder. you must help me get back to asgard. can you do that?"

you were speechless throughout his entire ransacking of your lab, but even more so now. was this an insane man you were with in the middle of the desert? you had brought him to your secluded lab out of remorse for what you'd done, but now you were alone in the middle of the night with a maniac. a very strong one at that.

"don't look at me like that," he interrupted your thoughts, "i know im not the god your people typically serve, but i still demand your help. you did hit me, after all."

that broke you out of your spell, your niceness peaking out again, "i'm sorry! i-"

"great! so now you're indebted to me," he clapped his hands together, "how shall we begin?"

okay, there was no way you were helping this maniac with his senseless plan, but you needed to think of a sensible way to tell him to fuck off.

"you're mingyu? the god of thunder? why are you reciting norse mythology to me? i cant get you back to asgard. it doesnt exist," okay, not subtle, but it was a start.

"listen, human. your kind would not understand the depth behind my people. you don't believe me? i'll show you."

and with that, he raised his arm, erected and facing to his side as he stared at you directly into your eyes. he stayed like this for a minute before you chose to question him, only to be shushed by him once more, "just give it a minute, human."

it was about three minutes when suddenly a hammer came crashing through the wall, destroying everything in its way in order to arrive to mingyu's hand.

next thing you knew, you were hiding under your table, utterly terrified at whatever the fuck was happening. was he really the mingyu? but those were all a child's tale, were they not? did you truly have a god standing before you, trying to convince you to come out from hiding?

"human, i- im sorry. i shouldve warned you. come out, please? i'll even forgive you for crashing into me. i just need some help," he sounded so defeated, you couldn't help but feel sorry for him, deciding to come out from hiding as long as he put his hammer down, something to which he agreed to with no hesitation.

"o-okay, mingyu. are you- you're real? shit, okay, never mind. you clearly are. but how can i help you? i'm not a god, h-how am i supposed to help you go back home?"

"there's always a way, human. we just need to find an opening. you see ..." he proceeded to explain his entire plan to you, sounding way more intelligent than he had shown himself to be throughout every interaction you'd had with him so far. he was also standing. very. close. it was hard to pay attention when the damage of his suit allowed you such a perfect view at his gigantic muscles. but you needed to focus! you owed it to him to at least try to help him.

the plan had been settled soon after that, agreeing that tomorrow you'd use your 'machine' (re: car) to drive him to a specific spot in which he'd be able to gather enough energy to summon lightning from the sky, which would render him powerful enough to communicate with gandall, who would take him back to asgard. it was too much for the regular person to process, but luckily for him, the person who almost ran him over was a scientist who was very well read on norse mythology.

after that, you had told him he could hit a shower, located in the habitable part of the lab in which you'd stay at sometimes. you let him know you two should also catch some sleep before tomorrow. you offered up your bed, claiming you'd take the couch since you'd caused him all this trouble anyway. he agreed with no argument, making you frown a little at his lack of gallantry.

he came out of the shower soon after, all while you sat on the couch occupied by a book. you heard his arrival, but didn't pay him much mind until doing a double take on him, realizing he was stark naked, with every glorious inch of skin in full display.

"jesus christ! what the hell are you doing?!", you covered your face with your book, extremely flustered at the sight. how was he so bi-

"what? is there no nudity on earth?", he sat on the couch, way too close to you.

"yes! but not like this! you're supposed to warn me beforehand. i-"

"why won't you look at me, human? uncover your face at once."

you weren't sure why, but you followed his direction, removing the book from your face but keeping your eyes closed.

"eyes open too."

you opened them, looking up as to avoid staring at his nether area. although you weren't looking at him, you could tell he had moved to sit even closer, making you anxious about what he'd do next.

"look at me."

you looked down to find him staring directly at you, face at only a few inches from yours. you couldn't help it when your eyes lowered to his lips, noticing him mirror your actions.

"this?" he whispered, "this is what you want?"

it was an ominous and unclear statement, but you still found yourself nodding, too full of a sudden surge of lust to think properly.

he attacked you with his lips, using full force immediately upon kissing you. he was very intense with his movements, almost immediately pinning you down on the couch, an easy feat for a god with his superhuman strength.

you couldn't help how wet you grew almost immediately, having taken a peak at his massive length when he had first approached you on the couch. was he going to put that in you? you were kinda terrified, but also giddy to feel the insane stretch he was about to give you.

you kept keening against him, softly moaning into his lips as he ground his hips against your own, making him groan in return.

"gods, human. you're so fragile ... so delicate. i'm gonna- gonna break you," it sounded like dirty talk, but there was some genuine concert laced in his tone.

"do it! please ... please fuck me," all dignity had left you the moment you saw him in all his naked glory, so any begging was fair game to you by now.

he chuckled, "yeah? pretty princess wants me to fuck her? think you can take it?", he was quite literally dangling his dick in front of your eyes, hands ripping your shorts out of the way as you gasped at the act.

"sorry, princess," he coo'd condescendingly, "they were getting in my way."

he didnt bother to check whether you were wet enough or not before plunging into you, but you had fortunately been dripping for him by then. still, his massive size had you writhing under him, screaming his name to anyone who could hear you from your secluded location.

"oh? now you pray my name? fuck, beautiful human. didn't know humans could be so pretty ..." he was growing delirious at the tightness of your cunt, combined with your much smaller frame. all women in asgard were as big and built as him. this was his first time experiencing anything like this, and it had him rethinking his return to asgard.

'g-gyu ... shit. i'm gonna cum, please!'

he folded you like a pretzel, not caring to conceal his inhuman strength as he pounded madly into you, feeding off your gasps and squeals. you were making him see valhalla.

"pretty princess ... cum for me. let me have yours and i'll give you mine- shit! gonna breed you. gonna come back here and take care of you every time im lonely. g-gonna keep you all to myself. my pretty secret on earth."

the idea of mingyu popping by to fuck you whenever the literal heaven that was asgard became too boring for him had you keening, now grateful you had ran him over as your orgasm attacked you unexpectedly.

you had never felt such a high, almost feeling like you had astral-projected into heaven. mingyu seemed to be in a similar situation, groaning against your mouth as he filled you up with his endless seed. seemed like he was well-endowed in all areas, being a god and all.

"fuck ... thank you for that, human," he thanked you as he got up, at least having the courtesy of helping you clean up, "now i feel kinda bad about leaving."

"then dont," you werent sure why you said that. maybe the high of your orgasm.

"yeah?", he smirked, nearing you once again, "convince me," you noticed his hardness was already back, at a literally inhuman speed.

you weren't sure how you were meant to take him again with no rest in between, but you were willing to take the challenge. you'd worry about how to get the god back to his home tomorrow. for now, you were going to enjoy him while you had him.

a/n: before anyone comes for me, I KNOW this isnt very inaccurate for thor (ive watched the movies too many times) but i wanted to write a short smutty blurb and not go off with too many words so this is what we ended up with

[gothamite-rambler]

There's a reason you don't ever shoot Nightwing... there's many people reasons you don't ever shoot him!

INT. GOON'S HIDEOUT - NIGHT

Goon 1 (Greg) looked visibly shaken as he entered the hideout, shifting nervously.

Greg: Hey... I fucked up.

Goon 2 (Bill) halted his activity, sighing heavily, already uneasy at the anticipation of bad news.

Bill: Oh Jesus, what did you do?

Greg: Promise you won't be mad?

Bill: Depends on the context, but we’re criminals in Gotham. I can usually handle bad news.

Greg: So, I was at the docks with the cargo, and that guy who works for Batman—one of the Robins, by the way—totally not my fault. Anyway, he shows up, and I thought, ��Easy job, right?” We went back and forth, and long story short... I shot him.

Bill's eyes widened in horror, pure panic flooding his features.

Bill (terrified anger): You what?!

Greg: You promised you wouldn't be mad!

Bill: With the context! That context is bad! Oh God, this is bad. What happened? Did he die? Because if he died, we are actually fucked!

Greg: No, he’s alive. Didn’t even fall. It was impressive, but yeah, he was pissed. Complained about some alterations to his suit and made it clear he wasn’t going down from a gunshot wound... scared the hell out of me, honestly.

Bill: Oh fuck, oh fuck! Which one was it?

Greg (perplexed): A Robin. Isn't there only one?

Bill: Oh bro, no! There are a lot of them! It’s important you specify!

Greg (shocked): There—there are multiple ones?

Bill: I know you moved here from Metropolis, where there’s one guy, but yes! Yes, there are like four! Did you not read the goddamn pamphlet?!

Greg (crying): I thought it was optional!

Bill: Oh my God! Look, there’s one with a sword—he’s the youngest. Then there’s another, slightly older, skinny one who’s terrifyingly insane. Then there’s a tall one—he's the one who uses guns. He believes in the right to bear arms—

Greg: There’s one with guns, an insane one, and one with a sword?!

Bill: If you’d read the pamphlet I made on Canva, you would know this! Focus! There’s another one who wears blue—slender, and everyone loves him. His teammates will beat the ever-loving shit out of you if you hurt him! KGBeast nearly got killed by one of the fast-running guys for shooting him in the head! It is specifically labeled: DO NOT SHOOT HIM! Did you shoot him?

Greg hung his head down, shame washing over him.

Bill: It wasn't the guns one because I’m talking to you! He doesn’t carry those for fun! Don’t tell me it was the one in blue!

Greg: To be fair, it was blue and black.

Bill (nervously nodding): You met Nightwing. And you—YOU SHOT HIM. Okay, okay, this is fine. It wasn’t a headshot; he can survive those. We can work with this. Was he silent and attacking you?

Greg: He actually told me he would only arrest me if I gave up. I pulled out my gun, thinking he was bluffing. I wanted to scare him. Then the gun went off by accident and hit him in the arm. He got angry though—cursed like a sailor.

Bill (trembling): At least he didn’t track you.

Greg: I dropped my phone when I ran.

Suddenly, glass shattered from upstairs. Heavy footsteps echoed down the stairs toward the goons' hideout.

Greg: What was that?

Bill: With those footsteps? That’s the six-foot bat-wearing hero who will beat you to within an inch of your life for hurting that man! Fantastic.

Bill nervously laughed, moving toward an open window with a gun in his hand.

Greg: Think we can take him?

Bill: Can we... who's "we"? I’m gone. In fact, I was never here.

Greg (scared): You’re leaving me?!

Bill: Not without doing this.

With a calm demeanor, Bill shot Greg in the thigh.

Greg: What the fuck, man!

Bill (quickly): That was so you’re already injured; he won’t go too hard on you! Bye!

Bill escaped through the window, climbing down as Greg sat on the floor, accepting his defeat. Just then, the door bursts open and Batman stormed in.

Batman (calm): You shot Nightwing?

Greg (regret): Yep.

Batman: You ready to have your arm broken?

Greg (sobbing): No.

Batman: That wasn’t a question. More like a warning.

Batman swiftly stomped on Greg's arm then knocked him unconscious.

[skyward-floored]

Whumptober Day 5: Sunburn, Heatstroke

Four and Hyrule!!! Who do not deserve a bit of the abuse I put them through 😔 Also something about the nature of heatstroke fics... they always get really long when I write them. Dunno why.

Warnings: things in the title, hallucination, rope burn, very brief vomiting, arguably a bit of torture.

Ao3 link

——————————————————————————————————

The desert was a fascinating environment, really, but Four had a feeling he would appreciate it a whole lot more if he could do so from a distance.

He couldn’t think of a single good experience he’d had in a desert, and it looked like his streak was holding. Seeing as Four was currently tired to a pole on top of a dune, Hyrule beside him, nothing to look at except endless sand and sun.

“Before you ask, no, I’m out of magic,” Hyrule said wearily, and Four sighed, setting his head back against the pole. He closed his eyes against the piercing sunlight, and tried to ignore the sweat already trickling down his brow, missing his headband. He could already feel the first signs of sunburn on his chest.

“Couldn’t they have given us some water before we started?” he asked, opening his eyes and staring idly at the horizon. Hyrule snorted.

“That wouldn’t be ‘fair’.”

“Oh like tying us to a pole without any sort of assistance is fair,” Four grumbled. “Not to mention taking half our clothes and all our belongings, and refusing to give them back unless we pass their “trial”. Just because we’re men. I’ve never met any Gerudo this territorial before.”

“I’ve never even met any Gerudo,” Hyrule said with a shrug against Four’s shoulders. “Well... I guess I have now. From what Wild said I thought they’d be nicer.”

“Well this obviously isn’t his time,” Four sighed. “They even took the dagger from my boot. Couldn’t they have given us something useful?”

“To be fair, we did agree to this,” Hyrule pointed out, and Four sighed again.

“Yeah. Because the only other option was them skewering us. I’m well aware.”

Four had never heard of a ‘trial of the sands’ before today, but the longer it went on, the less he liked it. The Gerudo he and Hyrule had stumbled on by complete portal-related accident were not friendly in any way shape or form. They’d quickly been surrounded, labeled trespassers, and been given the option of either attempting to survive for two days tied up in the desert, or be immediately killed for their crimes.

Four and Hyrule had chosen the desert.

It seemed to mostly be a choice between a quick or slow death, since as the Gerudo had tied them up and dragged them away, the leader mentioned that only one person before them had ever survived the trial. But Four still clung onto hope. If they survived, the Gerudo would let them go scot-free— the Gerudo wouldn’t oppose the will of the desert.

They just had to survive sitting out here for another 47 hours or so.

Easy.

Another bead of sweat trailed down Four’s face, and he sighed. He certainly wouldn’t complain if the others showed up before their time was up, though.

“Well... it could be worse,” Hyrule said after a bit, and Four raised an eyebrow. Then he remembered Hyrule couldn’t see it.

“...Oh yeah?”

“We’re not dead,” Hyrule said with a grin in his voice, and Four chuckled a bit weakly.

“Not yet, anyway.”

Silence fell over them, broken only by the scorching wind that whistled past. Four worked a little at their bonds, and he felt Hyrule doing the same, but the rope was as tight as ever. Four’s wrists were already raw, and he thought he might be starting to lose the feeling in his fingers.

And it was getting awfully hot.

A bead of sweat dripped off his nose, and Four blinked, his eyes beginning to hurt from squinting. The skin on his shoulders was pink from the sun, and it stung now where the ropes scraped against it. If nothing else, Four was going to come out of this with a wicked sunburn.

And hopefully nothing else.

“Smithy?” Hyrule asked after a while, sounding more weary than before. “You think the others will find us?”

“I hope so,” Four replied quietly.

He couldn’t think of anything more reassuring to say beyond that, but he shifted his head so it was resting more against Hyrule’s back. Hyrule leaned on him in turn, and despite the added warmth, Four appreciated the contact.

At least they weren’t alone. Four didn’t think he could stand that.

The scorching wind kept blowing past, too hot to cool either of them, the breezes kicking up sand that stuck to their sweaty skin. Four’s shoulders and arms began to sting, the ache of sunburn beginning to take hold. Sweat still dripped off his face, stinging his eyes on occasion.

The horizon stayed as blue as ever, nothing but sand and sky in sight.

Four wasn’t sure when, but eventually he and Hyrule both stopped working at the ropes, moving too painful with the burns only growing redder on their skin. They talked a little, but speaking felt like it expended more and more energy as time went on, and their conversation faded.

Four couldn’t turn his head very easily to look, but his whole chest felt raw now, the handful of bruises he’d received from the Gerudo throbbing, the ropes making his skin ache.

The sun felt like one of Wild’s guardians lasers on his skin, hot and painful. Four tried to keep his eyes on the horizon, looking for the others, but the line began to blur, wavering and melting in the sun.

He realized belatedly it had been a while since Hyrule had said anything, and blinked, struggling to focus.

“Hyrule? You still... ‘wake back there?” Four rasped, and he heard a croaky hum in response.

“Yeah. Gettin’... pretty warm.”

“Mm...”

Four blinked slowly, headache pulsing behind his eyes, and tried to fix his gaze on the horizon again. It had been sometime midmorning when they’d been put out here, was it noon now? Afternoon? It didn’t seem like the pole’s shadow had moved at all.

His whole torso hurt. The ropes rubbed against his burning skin with even the smallest movement, and Four hissed through his teeth when Hyrule shifted around.

“S’rry...” Hyrule slurred, and Four blinked, realizing Hyrule’s voice was a lot weaker then it had been. He wondered if his drained magic was making him feel worse.

“Stay awake ‘rule,” Four said, shakily tapping his head against him. “Don’t... you gotta stay awake.”

“I am, I... I am. I will.”

Hyrule’s skin felt clammy where it rested against Four’s, and Four scanned the horizon with a mounting desperation, barely able to focus.

How were they going to last two days out here?

Four’s stomach began to churn, his shoulders faintly trembling. His skin felt scraped raw, limbs aching, and for some reason air felt like it was harder to get in, and his breathing sped up. His heart pounded in his ears, the beat too fast, faster than it should be, and it throbbed in time with his headache.

Four swallowed back bile, and realized he’d stopped sweating.

That was bad. He didn’t remember why, but that was bad.

You’d think not sweating anymore would be good... he thought blearily, eyes rolling up to look at the sky. He’d given up on the horizon. The sky was better to look at anyway, even if it hurt his eyes. Blue and bright, the color was similar to... to something.

To water, he thought with a groan, throat drier than ever. He was so thirsty. Even a drop or two would be amazing. Especially if it was cold.

Mm. Cold.

Four never thought he would miss the time Blue got trapped in ice, but he found himself longing for it now. The idea of being anything but hot seemed like a distant dream.

Hyrule made an abrupt noise behind him, and Four startled, biting back a cry as the ropes scraped him. It sounded like Hyrule had lost the battle with his own stomach, and Four grimaced, unable to do anything but rest his head back on Hyrule’s shoulder while he weakly retched.

“Okay?” Four whispered when he finished, and Hyrule merely leaned on him a little harder.

Four closed his eyes, and silently begged the others to come soon. He didn’t think they could stand it much longer.

The sun continued its slow trek above them, Four still not convinced it was moving. His skin hurt, and though he couldn’t turn his head to look very well, he thought it might’ve begun to peel a bit.

He didn’t know how much time had gone by when Hyrule suddenly shifted a little.

“Four...” Hyrule croaked, “Four I see... see somethin’.”

“Really?” Four asked, hope stirring him from some of his dizziness. Hm. He might’ve fallen unconscious for a bit. “What?”

“It’s... can’ tell,” Hyrule murmured. “M-maybe... the others...”

Hyrule went quiet, then jerked suddenly, Four gasping as the ropes pulled.

“No!” Hyrule cried, voice cracking. He tried to push himself back, breath heaving, but all it did was send the ropes shifting around Four’s burnt skin, making him cry out.

“Hyrule s-stop!” Four gasped out, but Hyrule kept squirming, movements frantic.

“No no no— it’s gonna—” Hyrule choked out, still thrashing as much as he could. “Four, it’s— it’s r-right here!”

Four bit back another cry, and he tried to listen over the sounds of Hyrule’s frantic struggles, hearing nothing except the wind. No threat that would make Hyrule react so violently would be able to be that quiet.

It’s not real.

“Rule there’s n-nothing there,” Four wheezed, pained tears pricking in his eyes. “You’re seein’ th-things, please, s-stop moving.”

“It’s got... got a sword,” Hyrule gasped, still struggling madly, ropes tearing across Four’s skin. “Four it’s gonna—”

“It’s not! It’s not real!”

“It is!” Hyrule cried, “it’s about to—!”

“‘Rule, you’re hurting me!” Four nearly shrieked.

Something in his voice must have finally gotten through to him, and Hyrule went still, breath hitching. Four’s own breath hitched, his whole chest scraped and burnt, and he felt something wet trickling from under where the ropes were tightest.

Hyrule abruptly slumped, and Four waited in silence.

“N-nothing’s there,” Hyrule said shakily. “I thought th-there was, it... oh Four. ‘M s-sorry...”

“It’s okay,” Four whispered, swallowing thickly. “‘S okay. K-Keep... your eyes closed.”

Four heard his breath shake, but Hyrule didn’t argue, and the silence fell over them once more, thick now with pain.

Four closed his eyes, a dry sting in the corners, and tried to think about anything except the fiery feeling all across his middle.

...

More time passed. Four didn’t know how much.

He could barely remember how they’d gotten here, only reminded of it when he tried to move and the ropes further scraped his arms and wrists. Hyrule wasn’t saying anything anymore, and Four had run out of energy to try and talk to him.

He didn’t know if Hyrule was awake anymore. He only knew he was alive because he could feel his pulse where his head was pressed, too fast, too weak.

Four felt jumbled and weary, and more than once tried to reach for his sword so he could split, biting back a cry as the ropes scraped his bloody and sunburnt skin. They hurt even worse since Hyrule had thrashed around, and Four could barely breathe without pain searing across his chest and arms.

He needed his sword. Needed help. Needed to get out, he needed to help Hyrule get away from here and find the others, but the ropes were strong and Four’s energy had been entirely drained by the sun and pain.

All he could do was sit here and listen to Hyrule’s rapid, weak pulse, and hope they would make it.

Something was making a noise beside Hyrule’s pulse though, something that wasn’t the wind. Four peeled his eyes open, holding back a whimper as the sun hurt his eyes.

There was something in the distance, moving towards them. All Four could make out was a fuzzy blob, lit faintly orange by the setting sun, but that was all.

Four squinted, suspicious of another mirage like Hyrule had seen, but the blob got clearer as it approached, something with arms and legs. The noise got louder too, what sounded like garbled words on the wind, and Four blinked, the figure sorting itself into multiple figures, all... familiar.

“Four!”

Hope caught in his throat, and Four watched as Legend appeared in front of him, face sweaty and horrified. Wolfie ran beside him, sand kicked up by paws and pegasus boots, and Four could only watch in shocked relief as Legend slid to his knees beside him.

“Oh Four,” he breathed, and Four gave him a trembling smile, unable to do much else.

Legend wordlessly pulled a knife from his belt and began sawing, muttering something worriedly under his breath. Four could only watch, and when the pressure from the ropes abruptly disappeared, he lurched forward, unable to hold himself up any more.

Legend grabbed him, carefully avoiding where the ropes had cut into him, and Four gave him a grateful smile, relief making him feel twice as exhausted.

“Wait wait, don’t pass out, drink first,” Legend said a little frantically, and Four peeled his eyes back open, and let Legend hold his canteen to his lips.

Cool water filled his mouth, and Four nearly cried, drinking at it greedily. He whined when Legend pulled it away again, and the veteran gave him a chiding look.

“Hey c’mon, you should know better than to chug it,” Legend said gently, and Four sighed, relief hitting him as he saw Twilight nearby with Hyrule in his arms. “You can have more in a bit.”

Legend shifted him around a little, and Four hissed as his hands ghosted over his abused skin.

“Looks like it’s a good thing we found you when we did,” Twilight said from somewhere nearby, voice thick with worry.

“Yeah,” Four rasped, and despite the pain still cutting through him and the way his vision was darkening at the edges, he still reached out for Hyrule’s hand, threading his fingers through the traveler’s.

Hyrule held back, his grip even weaker than Four’s, but that was all the reassurance he needed.

Four sighed, and finally passed out, Legend’s frantic yelp ringing in his ears.

[desastre-fag]

Why I believe Audrey two is Seymour's subconscious and not a man eating plant.

I need everyone to hold my hands, look me in the eyes and listen carefully when I say this is my own interpretation based on the musical 2022 production with jeremy jordan and christian borle.

Trigger warnings for: themes of mental illness especially psychosis, mentions of suicide, murder, dismemberment, paranoid delusions, reality not being what it seems, blood and gore and anything else in relation to little shop of horrors.

OK ANYWAYS ON WITH IT !

point number one: Seymour is not mentally well.

He is so open to persuasion and peer pressure as shown not only by how quickly he folds when audrey II asks him to feed him BLOOD but also with how easily mushnik is able to make him his son (my baby seymour is so lonely and desperate for any positive attention). He definitely has depression and in this theory i believe he also suffers from psychosis. The initial feedings to audrey II are acts of self harm as a result of his mental illness.

point number two: audrey II as an extension of seymour.

Audrey II becomes a confidant to seymour, especially when facing ethical dilemmas and his own moral ideals - see feed me (get it) where he becomes convinced orin deserves to die - however i don't think that it is as literal as it is shown on stage. audrey II is an extension of seymour's conscious and subconscious that seymour's psychosis creates as a visual outlet for his own feelings. In reality i theorised that audrey II is a simple plant. although it IS a new discovery it does not become sentient but still brings fame and fortune to mushnik's florist. You may be wondering, well why does he feed it blood then? MENTAL ILLNESS BABEY!!! bringing us back to point one that seymour's subconscious needs to rationalise everything, including that he needs to "feed" this plant to keep revenue coming and reward it for bringing him fame.

point number three: seymour's hands.

Let's skip forward a little bit to when seymour tells mushnik that he needs to go into the plant to retrieve their money. Specifically during this production (as far as i know) seymour gestures to audrey II whilst its mouth opens and then when it begins to close onto mushnik, he stares at his hands and turns them over - reminiscent of characters who have killed and stare at their hands in shock/ in awe of blood that coats them. I believe that seymour does this to show that mushnik does not actually get eaten by audrey II in reality, but is instead murdered by seymour using his hands and then dismembered - similar to orin - and hidden in soil around the florist, but mainly in audrey II.

point number four: audrey II relaying seymour's inner thoughts.

When mushnik confronts seymour initially about his murder of orin and asks him to go to the police, audrey II comes alive with another presence on the stage for the first time in the show (i do not count when someone is being fed to audrey II e.g orin's corpse/mushnik getting into audrey II or audience interaction). Audrey II drives paranoia into seymour's forefront of his mind with his words, getting more and more intense as mushnik tells him to go to the police and prove his innocence. Seymour's irrational and paranoid mind creates this driving force via audrey II, giving him the ability to rationalise the killing of his father figure lest he go to prison.

point number five: orin scrivello DDS.

Orin's death could be labelled a convenient accident - but thats what seymour wants to think - his inaction in helping orin out of the mask is the direct cause of his death and although it is not the same as shooting him point blank, i still consider this an act of murder, the first of many. As mentioned previously seymour is very easily convinced that orin deserves to die for his abusive acts to audrey I, and rationalises that he MUST kill him to feed audrey II who has rewarded him with fame, fortune, and eventually audrey I. He rationalises orin's murder which is the start of his aggressive downward spiral into deeper psychosis and murder and then buries him in audrey II's soil.

point number six: audrey I.

Audrey I is seymour's core desire and main motive for most of his actions - he takes various contracts for money to provide for audrey, he kills orin for audrey's safety, he kills mushnik so he doesn't get turned in for orin's murder and so he can stay with audrey. Everything is centred around audrey because she is a large driving force for seymour. Her influence on him is shown during feed me (get it) in the instrumental section when orin slaps audrey for forgetting her sweater in front of seymour, this is the turning point for seymour's morality and he becomes of the belief some people deserve to die - especially orin.

point six and a half: audrey I going somewhere that's green.

Now let's get to the more complicated part of audrey I's death. NO ONE PANIC I AM NOT THROWING AWAY THE THEORY BECAUSE SEYMOUR ISN'T IN THE SCENE INITIALLY THAT'S ACTUALLY AN IMPORTANT PART OF IT. Seymour experiences a pure psychotic break, hence audrey II being the only one present for the scene initially and conversing with audrey I for the first time. Audrey II IS seymour, just the part of him he harshly represses and barely acknowledges, hence the manifestation of audrey II as a man eating plant. He accidentally fatally injures audrey I and as she dies in his arms, he needs to rationalise it all as a lone act committed by audrey II and not himself. Seymour buries her in the soil along with orin and mushnik.

point seven: audrey II and detaching seymour from reality.

Audrey II serves as a way for seymour to disconnect himself from the reality of his crimes, creating a completely separate entity deemed to feed on blood (fresh and human - why was that specified? to rationalise the murders) and has evil motives (world conquest). What we see is not reality, but what seymour sees.

point eight: seymour's death/suicide.

We see seymour dive into audrey II in an attempt to kill it from the inside, in line with this theory i see this as seymour committing suicide in horror at his own acts and the part of him which manifested as audrey II in his mind. He willingly enters the 'man eating plant' which he has seen eat three separate people with only a small machete, implying he wouldn't know the outcome is death implies he is an idiot. i have theorised that he comes to after audrey I's death and burial and in horror and shame of his murderous acts and the way he justified them he chooses to kill himself - mostly due to the death of audrey I - in order to kill the part of him that allowed those things to happen. Kind of a Jekyll and Hyde situation, killing yourself to kill the second person inhabiting your body and brain.

point nine: the finale.

The finale we see is seymour's final brain functions, bringing all his rationalisations and delusions to a head, where audrey II lives on and goes on to conquer the world with millions of other man eating plants. He gets to see all his victims one final time, and shares a warning to not feed the plants, no matter what they offer you - do not feed delusions or rationalise evil deeds no matter the positive outcomes. Speaking of positive outcomes !

point ten: the rewards system tied to audrey II.

What emphasises and solidifies the rationalisations and delusions are the positive things that happen around seymour as he kills, such as getting into a relationship with audrey I, money, popularity, getting adopted, multiple contracts etc. Reminder that what we see in the show is seymour's perceptions, and that i theorise in reality they are much less positive and are blown out of proportion by seymour so that they are a significant positive outcome of his negative acts. He does not get together with audrey I, they simply interact more than before, the contracts are bad deals, the money isn't as great as it seems, he gets adopted but as we see in the show it is for ulterior motives (seymour sees it as an act of pure love).

conclusion:

I have little shop of horrors brain rot and i love this theory so much it adds a whole new layer to the show, especially the ending ! love the character of audrey II but i also love the idea that he is a manifestation of seymour's subconscious and not actually a man eating plant.

i did not proofread this. hope you enjoyed :)

[raina-at]

Pride

Omg, you guys, it's the last one! Where did the month go!

A huge, huge thank you to @calaisreno for keeping is going the entire month, and a huge thank you to all of you for reading and writing and gushing and commenting and crying and making this more fun than it had any right to be. I'll miss this!

I did a Pride ficlet last year as a bonus ficlet because I missed two days. I had a lot of ideas for this year's, and maybe I'll post some of them as bonus ficlets through June, but for now, I say goodbye to May with John and Rosie.

--------

"Dad."

"Hmm?"

"Dad!"

John puts down the newspaper. Apparently this is a serious discussion. "Yes, love?"

Rosie throws herself into Sherlock's chair and contorts herself into a pretzel-like shape that can't be comfortable. "I'm...um..." It's apparent she doesn't quite know how to phrase her issue, because she's unnaturally hesitant. Sherlock's influence has made her shockingly blunt, while John's influence has made her shockingly foul-mouthed. Arguing with her is a joy. But now, very untypically, she looks confused and a bit lost.

"Ro, whatever it is, you can tell me," John says, leaning forward, a bit worried now.

"It's..." She sighs, looks down at her hands. "It's a bit personal?"

"Oh my god you're pregnant!" John blurts out, his momentary fear overriding his usually good brain-mouth-filter.

"Dad, what the actual fuck! I'm not fucking pregnant!" Rosie rolls her eyes so hard John wonders if she sprained something. "You know I'm on birth control. You went with me to get my first prescription, for fuck's sake."

"Accidents happen, my dear," John says, gesturing at his lovely daughter, who, light of his life, and joy of his world as she may be, was also very much an unplanned pregnancy.

"Fair enough," Rosie admits, deflating a bit. "Still."

"It wasn't a completely unreasonable assumption. You have a boyfriend, you're twenty, I'm assuming you're having sex."

"Please, dad!" Rosie exclaims, the tips of her ears turning red. "I really don't want to talk about my sex life."

"You think I do?"

Rosie makes a very Sherlock-like  'never mind all that nonsense now' gesture. "Anyway," she says, giving John a glare that tells him to shut up until she's finished. "It's actually kind of about Mark."

John nods, to let her know he's listening, but carefully and deliberately keeps his mouth shut, even as he's thinking, If he hurt you, I'll kill him so fucking dead so quickly he'll never know what hit him.

"It's... you know... he's... well, he's a boy," Rosie finally gets out.

John blinks a few times. Waits a bit. When it's clear Rosie won't be any more forthcoming about the issue, he dares to ask, "And?"

She looks down at her hands, studying them with unwarranted fascination. "I'm..." She sighs. "When did you know you were bisexual?"

John exhales audibly. Now he knows what this is about. In a family of mostly queer people, Rosie seems to have assumed she'd be some kind of queer as well. And if anyone knows how complicated identity can be, especially if it's weighed down by expectation, it's John. "Um. Quite honestly, I'm not sure I am."

Rosie looks up, surprised. "I mean. Mum. And Paps. Um. You know..." she makes a 'please fill in the gaps yourself' gesture.

"Look," John says, leaning forward and taking his daughter's hands. "I personally think labels are vastly overrated. If a word, or a label, or a phrase, helps you to better understand yourself, that's great. Use that label as long as it serves you, and if it doesn't anymore, use another one. As for me, I was raised in an environment where being different was bad. What kind of different you were exactly was completely beside the point. And I saw first-hand how the world treated your aunt, so I thought, best not think about it. I wasn't that attracted to men, it wasn't difficult to ignore. Until I met Paps, and you know how difficult he is to ignore."

Rosie grins. "Oh, yeah. So Paps made you bi?"

"No, you know it doesn't work like that. He made me... " John answers, smiling fondly at the memory. "Well, quite simply, he made me fall in love. He was—still is, of course—the most intriguing, gorgeous, infuriating, exasperating, fascinating person I've ever met, and I fell in love with him so hard, and so fast. But I wasn't ready, and he wasn't ready, and it took us years to get our acts together. And part of that was that we both couldn't accept a fundamental truth: The heart wants what the heart wants. Fighting against it only brings misery and destruction." He squeezes Rosie's hands. "So. Do you love Mark?"

She nods, her eyes shining with the truth of it.

"Is he good to you? Good for you?"

She nods again.

"Then who the fuck cares about anything else?"

Rosie's silent for a bit, apparently mulling over his words, still holding on to his hands. "So," she finally says, looking up from her joint hands with a smile. "You'll love me even if I'm straight?"

"Well, love, I suppose I can overlook this glaring character flaw. Also, you might meet a stunning lesbian when you're forty and she'll rock your entire world and turn everything you thought you knew about yourself upside down. And I want you to remember," he says, leaning in a bit more, looking deeply into her eyes, "I'm fine with everything, as long as you give me some grandkids first."

Rosie laughs and pushes him away. "Fuck off."

John gets up and makes his way to the kitchen. "So, sexual identity crisis over? You want to have some tea now?"

"Of course I want tea. But what you're saying, if I understand you correctly, is not to assume I'm straight just because I fell in love with a man?"

"I'm saying," John says, flicking the kettle on, "is that it doesn't matter, love. Gay, straight, pan, bi, ace, all these labels are useful if they help you understand yourself. But if you feel boxed in by a label, don't use it. Use another one. Use none at all. Let nothing ever keep you from knowing and understanding your own heart. That's the only thing that matters. I might be bi, who knows. The important thing is that I love Sherlock with all my heart, and that I made a commitment to him. Everything else is just noise."

Rosie is quiet for a bit, looking thoughtfully at the fire crackling cherrily in the hearth of 221B. "You're getting soft in your old age, Dad," she finally says, with a grateful smile.

John hands her a mug, drops a kiss on her head. "Love you too, dear," he says, smiling into her hair.

----

Don't forget that I'm collecting these ficlets here on AO3, and don't forget to check out the wonderful collection of May prompt ficlets as well. I know I'm already looking forward to reading all of them again.

Tags under the cut as usual.

@calaisreno @totallysilvergirl @jrow @peanitbear @jolieblack @meetinginsamarra @helloliriels @keirgreeneyes @lisbeth-kk @friday411 @givemesherbet-blog-blog @weeesi @thalialunacy @thegildedbee @dapetty @salmonsown

[faeruy]

Agatha All Along - Episode 6 "Familiar By Thy Side"

The Tower Reversed - Our first explicit mention of a Reverse reading, this one's triggered as Lilia reads Billy Kaplan's palm during his Bar Mitzvah. As I've said in past tarot posts, I'm an amateur, so I could be misinterpreting/missing things in my analysis. I do my best.

LET'S F'ING GO.

So starting with the obvious. The Tower is a notoriously scary card, and Reversed readings are often thought to be more negative, but it's not true in this case. The Tower Reversed is mostly about a personal transformation, a HUGE one. Like the upright reading, upheaval and change is a huge part of it, but Reverse is mostly internal. Billy Kaplan is about to become something more; he becomes Billy Maximoff. The upheaval in his life is so great, he doesn't really know WHO he is. Tower Reversed can also indicate an existential crisis, which is Billy in spades.

The thing about ANY reading of the Tower, is that the change is inevitable. There will be upheaval, whether one likes it or not, but the Reversed reading suggests that disaster can be avoided. In this case, Billy Kaplan is going to die in a car crash, Billy Maximoff is going to be unmade, but true disaster is avoided when the two events happen simultaneously. Neither of them is truly gone-gone. There's a reason both Billy Kaplan and Billy Maximoff are names protected by the sigil.

The thing that's clear to me is while Lilia was spooked by what she read in his palm at first, the Tower Reversed (and whatever else his palm said) was enough to tell her that he was going to survive in some fashion and would need protection from people like her. (Or Agatha, or Wanda even; who knows?) I hope we get to see what she sees when we get to her trial.

The thing I also want to talk about, is why she specified Reversed, when Upright could just as easily applied to the situation at hand. After all, Billy Kaplan didn't cause the car accident that killed him, Wanda was the one who undid the spell that had brought Billy Maximoff into existence in the first place. So one could definitely argue that those fall under more of an Upright reading; destruction, chaos, upheaval. Especially given Wanda's magic was explicitly labeled as Chaos Magic. I think its because the writers of the show are trying to tell us something; that the death and destruction that make up HOW Billy came to be is far less important than WHO he is; which is simply a boy becoming a man, and trying to figure out who he is and what he wants in the world. The whole Billy Kaplan/Billy Maximoff thing is a metaphor for a coming-of-age, and calling out the Tower Reversed is as much of a tell as setting the whole thing the day of his Bar Mitzvah.

One last note; I'm so pleased that The Tower came into play again, after it showed up in a promo poster which has Lilia holding the card Upright. My guess is that it's there to indicate a couple of things; 1)Lilia's the Divination Witch (and Tarot's a big part of that), 2)We can expect some form of chaos and destruction, 3)Definitely a nod to the fake "Coven of Chaos" Title. But I think the poster was a nod to the usage in episode 6, and the connection Lilia has to Billy, only with a slight misdirect by having it Upright instead of Reversed. And while I think that probably has more to do with readability and clarity than anything else, I wonder if some of that was to throw people off the track. IMO Tower Upright invites a pretty shallow, general take when thrown onto something like a Marvel promo poster. Tower Reversed, because it indicates that someone making these posters knows more than the bare minimum about Tarot and is using it to plant clues about the show, invites a LOT more speculation.

This post went a lot longer than I thought, but I hope you all enjoyed it, and if you want to check out my analysis of the Tarot cards from past episodes:

Episodes 1-3 Episode 4 Episode 5 Episode 7 part 1

[invisible-pink-toast]

Is Misty a serial killer?

"I’m grateful, okay? I really am very grateful that your hobby seems to be figuring out how to be the perfect serial killer." "Why does everyone keep saying that?"

Misty is such a fascinating character. We know that since they were rescued, she's become a nurse/carer at a nursing home, that she's a prominent member of the Citizen Detective group, that she loves her bird Caligula and is training him, that she's gone on a lot of unsuccessful dates, and that she's kept tabs on all the surviving Yellowjackets.

But none of this explains the murder dungeon set up in her basement...

For context, Misty's had a fascination with medicine and healing since before the crash, taking the Red Cross babysitter's first aid course twice, but it's after the crash that she realises how useful this skill is in making her needed and letting her be in control.

It gives her power over people.

Her feeling appreciated for the first time in her life and feeling like she has a position of power in the group leads to her destroying the black box when she finds it. I'm not sure if she just meant to delay the rescue to give herself more time to shine, or whether she meant to trap everyone in the middle of nowhere permanently.

Even if her plan was just to delay, Ben is in a critical state, and everyone is injured and vulnerable to infection and exposure, not to mention their lack of supplies (Misty has no knowledge of the lake or cabin at this point). Either way it shows a complete disregard for others lives right from the get go.

Misty doesn't know much about herbs and plants when they're first in the wilderness, Akilah is the most knowledgeable from her time in the girl scouts. But Misty obviously pays attention, and she gathers plants into a binder that she secretly hides in the woods.

In her binder there is also a book on medicinal plants. As pointed out in this reddit thread, it looks faded, has no hole punches for the binder, and there's no reason Misty would have this with her in the crash. It's likely a book from the cabin. Instead of having it available for everyone, Misty has hidden the book so that only She has the knowledge - she's the one with the power, she's the most useful, and she appears to just know this information.

The plants in the binder include the ones that make you sick and hallucinate - you can see the 'vomiting' label! And this is not to know what to avoid, she gathers enough to use - which she does! It's completely premeditated.

Misty's eager to control Ben and poisons him when he appears to reject her advances. When she thinks she has a chance with him at Doomcoming she excitedly goes to drug him into a state of compliance. Her plan is ruined before she can attempt it (though I doubt Ben would've ever accepted another tea from Misty lmao) when Mari adds the shrooms to their stew. Misty knows that Everyone is going to be drugged and there will be consequences - but she says nothing and even has the stew herself in order to try and appear innocent. So she knows it's not something someone's supposed to be doing but does it anyway for her own gain.

"You poisoned me! Why?" "That's a very strong word. I wouldn't-"

Chronologically, the first death that Misty directly causes is Kristin's.

Misty threatens to kill her if the other girl reveals her secret (destroying the black box) and backs Kristin up against the cliff. When Kristin steps back, she falls to her death.

I truly don't think Misty meant to kill Kristin here. I think she was 100% capable of it, but her actual death was an accident. Misty panicked and was trying to gain control of the situation. Misty is in shock after Kristin falls off the cliff, she's devastated and climbs down and does CPR to try and save Kristin. Absolutely not a death she meant to occur, but despite her grief, Kristin's death does solve a problem for Misty.

Something that she'll remember going forwards.

The next death Misty is (at least partly) responsible for is Javi's. Misty is the one who relays Lottie's wish to be used as food if she dies, this causes the group to decide to sacrifice someone in Lottie's place. Natalie draws the card, Travis and Javi help her escape, but when Javi falls into the icy lake, Misty is the one to pull Natalie back from helping him and make it clear that it is Natalie or Javi's life and he is already drowning.

Misty also has complicated reactions to death. She immediately covers up Kristin's death with the blizzard, knowing that she'll be blamed if anyone discovers she fell from the cliff. But she's also panicked and upset and berating herself. She makes justifications for Javi's death and looks way too intrigued when Travis bites into the heart. But in contrast - Misty's devastated when the baby dies, and she actually convinces Ben not to commit suicide because "I can't have another death on my hands"

Yet Misty is also enamoured with violence - looking positively gleeful as Shauna nearly beats Lottie to death and grinning after they feast on Pit Girl.

At this point this is as much as we've seen of Misty in the '96 timeline but it's... troubling. Especially considering what she's like in 2021.

Misty's become a nurse, working in an aged care facility, where she can play God and have control over people's lives again without any real oversight.

But none of this makes her a potential serial killer. What does is:

1) Her basement.

Misty kidnaps Jessica (we'll get into that) but she already has a basement set up for this exact need. A bed, TV and kitchen facility in a basement isn't usually suspicious - but we know that Misty has ZERO guests staying (willingly) with her, the basement only locks from the outside, it's already set up with restraints on the bed (potentially just kinky but given the context more murdery), a wheelchair that someone can be easily handcuffed to, duct tape, etc.

There's also other details that show that... this is not the first time Misty has done this. She gives Jessica plastic cutlery like what a child would use (unlike the metal cutlery Natalie uses to stab Lisa and escape when she's kidnapped and chained to a bed). Misty wears gloves and a full jumpsuit to conceal her DNA and a pair of work boots that are clearly for this purpose only.

Even knowing that Misty is a researcher, is fascinated by true crime and is a citizen detective, there's just too many details in the set up for this to be a one off thing and first time success.

2) Misty's knowledge, supply of, and willingness to use drugs.

Misty kidnaps Jessica in about ten seconds. She's convinced Jessica to willingly get into her car to discuss what they talked about on the phone, and without a word Misty stabs her in the thigh with a syringe and knocks her out. Then Misty drives away with a smile. hm.

After discovering that Jessica will be harder to crack then Misty thought, she's perfectly willing to... murder Jessica's father. By lacing chocolates with a deadly drug and sending them to the guy from his daughter. Misty even gets his nurse to agree to deliver them personally sjdlk;fhaskl;dfh holy shit??

Drugs are Misty's weapon of choice. It's another thing that gives her power over people. She laces Jessica's cigarettes, murdering her, when Lisa shows up with a shotgun to try and get all the masked armed people away from Lottie, Misty's first instinct is to kill the girl. The only reason she doesn't succeed is that Natalie covers Lisa and sacrifices herself.

So in the adult timeline - that's one straight up murder (Jessica), two attempted murders (Lisa and Jessica's father), and one accidental-ish killing (Natalie). All with drugs.

3) Misty's manipulation and lack of boundaries

Not as big of a reason as some of the others, but important to consider overall. Misty has no boundaries with other people, and uses her skills against everyone around her, whether she thinks of them as a friend, foe, or a complete stranger.

She keeps tabs on the other survivors, including Travis, who changed his name and disappeared. She's disappointed in herself for not knowing Lottie was back from Switzerland.

She tampers with her own car to guilt her date into driving her home, then guilts him into coming inside by crying that he doesn't think she's pretty.

She tampers with Natalie's car in order to force Natalie into going with her to find Travis.

She texts Kevyn Tan pretending to be Natalie and starts up a relationship with him (i mean acab but still bad from natalie's perspective)

She puts a hidden camera in Natalie's room in order to spy on her, listening in on her conversations and watching her have sex (girl come on.)

To threaten Jessica, Misty finds out the aged care facility her father is in, who his nurse is, and using a fake name has a lengthy conversation with the nurse to find out as much information as she can.

Misty does a whole background check on the random motel employee in order to threaten / blackmail him into helping her.

Not to mention all the ways Misty abuses the residents in her care at her job.

4) She knows exactly how to get rid of a body

She's so flattered I just-

Once again, because she's a Citizen Detective and loves true crime I can see her knowing a fair bit about this. Like the 'fun fact' that 12% of killers are caught buying cleaning supplies. Why she knows exactly what brand of bleach is best to clean up a murder because "regular bleach leaves behind hemoglobin for the luminol tests" is not something anyone who has not cleaned up a murder scene would know. Also she knows exactly what to steal from her work to clean up a murder scene and dump a body on short notice...

A lot of things that Misty still uses are things that she learnt in the wilderness - the drugs, the manipulation, etc. Cleaning was not a part of the wilderness. This and her murder basement are things she has learnt over time since they've been back.

She's also so upbeat?? All of the survivors have dealt with bodies, but for most of them it's been a while and they're all pretty shaken when getting rid of the evidence of Adam's murder. Misty is practically glowing - but given that her 'friends' need her and that she's in charge, that tracks for her character.

So after all this, there's still the question:

Is Misty a serial killer?

Honestly? Yeah, probably. She has far too many resources and techniques and is just far too comfortable with murder and cleaning up afterwards to have not killed at least a few people that we don't know about. A serial killer is someone who has murdered at least three people over a period of time. I'm thinking Misty qualifies.

Then there's the question of why?

Misty thinks of herself as a hero. The underdog who's protecting her friends, especially Natalie. She's doing what needs to be done when the others aren't able to.

And it's the phrasing of the quote above that really gets me. The 2021 timeline in both season 1 and 2 takes place over only a couple of weeks. The bulk of it - from Jessica's kidnapping and the blackmail to ending up in Lottie's compound - happens over about two weeks.

In that two weeks, Misty has (according to herself) taken care of things such as: helping Natalie find answers on Travis' death, stopped Natalie from relapsing, killed Jessica and neutralised a potential threat, helped the others cover up Adam's murder & tracked Natalie down after her kidnapping.

Only they really didn't find answers on Travis' death, Adam's murder was not covered up and Shauna is being investigated, and Natalie stayed willingly with Lottie. The other two are highly debatable.

So Misty did not take care of things. Also, "always" is a strong way to phrase a two week period. Considering she hasn't seen the other survivors in years.

So is Misty... not talking about that two week period? Is she talking about before?

The Yellowjackets and their survival have been public speculation since their rescue. Jessica pretending to be a reporter and poking around for a story is not shocking to any of them. But no official story has ever come out. Maybe Misty has been "taking care" of any potential leaks.

Has anyone checked in with the author of 'Skin in the Game' i'm just saying

She already has the basement set up for interrogation. She already has the drugs on hand to make a murder look like an overdose. She would rather kill someone then deal with the consequences of them living. Take Jessica, or the fact that Misty used a lethal drug (probably the fentanyl) when attacking Lisa, when she could have easily used some sort of tranquilliser.

There's also the fact that she just enjoys having power over other people. She enjoys violence.

Some theories:

There's Stan, the guy she went on a date with in 1x02. It's obvious the date is going terribly. Misty is trying way too hard and he's not into her but she keeps pushing. That is in character, and maybe they're just trying to set Misty up as being desperate. But also... the guy is kind of a loser. He's just been fired, he tries to ditch the date at 6PM, he's even more awkward then Misty. But she still messes with her car so he has to give her a ride home. She still manipulates him into coming inside.

Why? Why does she want this guy in her house? To try to convince him to have sex with her? She doesn't really seem that into him either. And once Natalie turns up Misty could care less about the guy.

Maybe Misty was looking to use her murder basement. This guy just lost his job, if he disappeared would anyone notice right away? If he turned up a week later, dead of an apparent overdose, would anyone suspect anything? Misty sees herself as being noble, when she kidnaps Jessica she taunts her saying "good night, sleep tight, don't let the fact that you're a terrible person keep you up tonight". Stan was a jerk, so would Misty justify her actions to herself because of that?

Then there's Walter. He knows more about Misty then he's letting on. He may have found her on the citizen detective boards, but even with his odd behaviour, this doesn't explain his borderline obsession with her. When covering up Adam's murder, he's also covering Jessica's. How does he know about Jessica or that her murder relates to Misty? He's very into true crime - has he tracked Misty down because he's linked her to several suspicious deaths? It clearly doesn't bother him, it actually seems to be something that endears her to him, but it supports the serial killer theory. Also hilarious that he thinks her being a surviving Yellowjacket is the least interesting thing about her and... he's right actually jsldkfhsaldhfas;hf

At the end of the day, Misty Quigley is a fantastic and fascinating character and I can't wait to see where her story goes. I would love for this theory to be true, but either way I'm sure Misty will be as entertaining as ever.

"I know when you look at me, you don't see someone you should be afraid of, but, uh... you're wrong."

[watermel0ns-dumb-cringe]

Have the silly Swap/John Doe AU me and @marys-ghost have created !! (Yes I consider you a creator of it you help me with ideas /silly /pos)

Yes I'm aware that there's already some aus & designs (I saw like. one andy! Ezra/John design once) of this already but FUCK YOU (/lhj) THIS IS OUR TAKE ON IT !! (no hate to the other ones btw they're all silly)

Penny Lamb ; " The Guiltiest Girl In Town . "

&

[ █▅▅▅ █▅▅█ ] 'John Doe' ; " ██▅ █▅▅█ █▅▅▆▅▅▅ ▇▅▇ ▇▅ ▇▅▅▅ . "

Elaboration under the cut

small summary ! What if Ezra & Penny had swapped places? Well, here's our take on that concept!! :]

Both of them went to the fall fair with the choir, but Penny decided not to go on the Cyclone (as she has a fear of roller coasters), staying behind to try and win some prizes for her and her little brother while he went with the choir's family/friends(the cut characters). Penny tried winning a Raggedy Ann to match with the Raggedy Andy that Ezra had won, but ended up with the porcelain doll we're all familiar with instead. She's grown rather fond of the thing,, but yeah. Temporary split up, and then the Cyclone accident happened. Father Markus prevented Penny from seeing the aftermath of it all(or. he hoped he did,, up to interpretation!), and Ezra was left unidentified once Father Markus died from a heart attack. Penny's been searching everywhere top to bottom— but she knows Ezra's gone. Yet, she doesn't wanna believe it, and. Carries a lot. of regret & guilt. Nobody ever listened to her when she tried to identify him, due to her reputation as a "psycho cannibal kid that maimed a dude, born & raised from a place where all the adults were higher than freakin' skyscrapers." Plus her. Criminal record in general. Therefore, Ezra was labeled as John Doe.

While in limbo, he ain't doing too hot either, supposedly! Unlike most versions of Jane, John is purposefully pissed off. Knowing he's been fucked over entirely but can't completely pinpoint it. I'd like to think he gets along well with Astrid,, but he & Corey might have a rivalry similar to Penny & Ocean's. haters frfr/silly

Also yeah Ez gets Raggedy Andy head the Lamb siblings r so Ann & Andy coded /pos

So. the choir never die, but the cut characters do. Unfortunately includes Talia, as we need 6 people dead. 😭

Oh yeah Penny's also filled with spite & a sheer hatred for Uranium. She will throw hands or kill a man as seen here

still kinda in progress & I do have more info for it but that's the basic plot line !!

Definitely gonna draw them a lot they're silly/vvpos

Bonus

the fornication under consent of the king bit is replaced with John beatboxing/rapping. Trishna is terrified.

[writings-of-a-hufflepuff]

Derek [Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader]

Fandom: Call of Duty (I haven't been into COD since I was 14 but we're back thanks to COD cosplayers on tiktok...) Collection/Series: N/A Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader Writer: @writings-of-a-hufflepuff​ aka @little-autumn-serenade​ Rating: G Warnings: This is kinda silly and not my best work but the idea has been hanging around in my head so... Summary: A surprise finds you at work while Simon is away on deployment. Notes: Inspired by my dad, a veteran, who did something very similar for my mum. We still have Derek like 30 years later although he's in the loft being eaten alive by moths probably.

You're at work when you're called down to the front office, a confusing event in and of itself seeing as you weren't expecting anyone or anything to interrupt your working day. You're very rarely called away from your work in general. Your family and friends would never interrupt your working day, being too busy themselves and the only other person would be Simon, but he's away on deployment and isn't one for surprises. You liked the predictability of him and the fact he didn't scare you by randomly turning up places without a warning. You liked a lot about your boyfriend even if he couldn't always understand it. You missed him. A lot. He'd been gone for two months already and you'd only had three or four phone calls in that time, due to schedules not lining up.

Janice, the nice older receptionist, is waiting for you when you finally have five minutes to step away from your desk. She looks over the top of glasses at you from where they're perched on the tip of her nose.

"Did you order something, Lovely?"

"No, I...I never order anything to work, why?"

"You've got a parcel, a rather large parcel." She stands with a groan and a hand to the small of her back as she ushers you into the office and to follow her further back into the office.

You feel bad for her when you see the gigantic cardboard box that she clearly had dragged into the office. It's at least half-your height, reaching about your waist and as wide as you. You run a hand over the top, reading the various labels that suggest it has had quite a journey across the globe and the only thing you can think is that someone ordered some stationary or furniture for work and put it in your name on the requisition form by accident.

"What on earth?" You reach for a pair of scissors, cutting the packaging tape and opening the flaps.

You're greeted by a lot of packing peanuts and the mystery has you almost ferally tearing through the box the moment you have a bin to start dumping packing materials into. The one bin proves not to be enough to hold all of the packing peanuts and you end up having to reach for a second one.

It's not long before you see the top of a fuzzy brown head and struggle to heft the rather heavy stuffed toy out of the box. Poor Janice has to grab the box to slide it off at the other end until the thing is sat in front of you.

It's a...a gorilla. A giant, stuffed gorilla toy with a scrappy bit of lined paper torn out of a notebook pinned to its chest. He's wearing a tactical helmet that's a little too small for the giant thing's head. He's clearly been swashed into it, and his face looks a little off as a result, the sides crushed inwards.

"I take it you didn't order a gorilla, sweetie?"

"I definitely did not order a gorilla..." You're baffled, so utterly baffled that you're almost scared to take the note unless it turns out you've got a stalker or something equally as terrifyingly absurd. Simon's many warnings about strange packages and parcels ringing in your ears in that familiar gruff and protective tone of his.

Still you take the piece of paper and unfold it. The note is short, brief and when you read the sign off you understand why. Because this bizarre package, this ridiculous gift, is from Simon. Simon, the gruff, intimidating, scary dog privileges Lieutenant who could probably kill someone in 100 different ways. That Simon had sent you a gigantic, stuffed gorilla in a tac helmet. Simon Riley. Simon Riley had sent you a stuffed gorilla toy of all things.

Hey, Love.

Meet Derek, found him in Barcelona when we had some free time. Figured he could keep you company since i'm going to be gone for a bit longer than expected.

Looks a bit like Soap to me, so sorry if he gives you nightmares.

Simon

The end of the note has a silly drawing in black biro; Johnny, Simon and Derek at the beach. Simon's drawn himself in full uniform, mask included and Derek has a umbrella cocktail in hand. John looks decidedly annoyed giving the gorilla side eye that is meme worthy.

You kind of hate it. The gorilla. that is...it's stitching is bulging at the seams and it's eyes are looking in two different directions and it really does have something about it that screams John Mactavish, might be the slight mohawk at the top of it's head...but you also love it. You love that Simon of all people, hater of surprises, the most unspontaneous and rigid person you know, decided to surprise you with it. That he took the time to package it and probably spent more money than necessary to get the heavy thing shipped to you. You love how absurd it is and mostly, you love that it's from him because you miss him so freaking much that you're starting to pretend he's holding you at night and you're getting sadder each day because his shirts aren't smelling like him anymore.

You don't realise you're crying over it until Janice, tutts and hushes you and rushes for the tissues.

God, you miss Simon. You miss him a lot, but maybe Derek will help you feel a little bit closer to him...or Derek will give you nightmares. Either way, he's staying because Simon got him for you and no way in hell are you throwing out any gift from him even if it's a really dodgy looking gorilla.