#so when characters in horror films just show zero thoughts on what is happening

[nellasbookplanet]

In other news, it’s spooky month and I accidentally watched a christian horror movie (yes, that is apparently a thing that exists) and didn’t fully realize until the demon started spouting anti-abortion rethoric, and this has once again made me think about how so many (western) supernatural horror movies are somehow simultaneously very secular and extremely christian to the point that it’s hard to even notice when they start to slide into propaganda because most of them present christianity as this natural and obvious status quo. You use a crucifix against vampires. Call a priest to deal with demons. No one in-narrative ever has any actual conversations about what this means, despite featuring largely secular characters who should by all rights be experiencing existenial crises at the face of all this proof of not just the supernatural but of god almighty himself. Christianity is just the Obvious Tool. Calling a priest is like calling a plumber and requires no reevaluation of one's world view. A crucifix is no different from a bag of garlic.

Despite being mostly an atheist myself, I strangely often find myself prefering stories that lean more into the christian aspect: angels show up, maybe god has a few lines, the devil personally makes an apperance at some point. You know, Supernatural and Good Omens and Constantine and Lucifer type christianity. At this point, it stops feeling like an assumption of One True Religion and starts feeling like any other mythology, not dissimilar to Rick Riordan writing greek gods. It’s just another fantasy element inspired by real beliefs. I really wish more supernatural horror leaned this way, or alternately in the complete opposite way where the monsters and demons are completely removed from christianity. Give me some pre-christian demons, get a bit creative with the concept instead of just copying the exorcist's homework, c'mon you can do it!

[lesterwillington]

We Need a Lovecraft Musical (or play, I would not mind a play)

I love eldritch horror and weird fiction and I love musicals so I might sound biased, but I need this to happen. Technically, there are a few that exist, but I can find very little detail about them. So, what I'm asking the universe for is some sort of Lovecraft stage musical adaptation (preferably something from the Cthulhu Mythos) that recieves a major professional production somewhere in the world (like off-west end or off-broadway or chicago or something, I would love regular west end and regular broadway but I am trying to manage expectations here, kinda). Also, we just need more mainstream horror theater stuff in general. There isn't much of it, and what does exist mostly have been financial and critical failures. Now, you may be asking, "aren't Lovecraft's works famously unadaptable? why not just leave them as short stories and novels? also he was a pretty bad dude should we even be adapting his work at all?", and to that I say: 1. HA, if you really think that, you are a COWARD, a FOOL, and a SCOUNDREL! People thought Dune was unadaptable and now it is a critically acclaimed franchise with at least 2 movies as well as an upcoming tv show and a third movie in development. So, people that say things like that are dumb. Plus, that's mostly in reference to film adaptations anyway, which I can understand for Lovecraft's works. He mostly relies on the audience's imagination for the horror, he tries to get them to fear something they can barely begin to understand. It's hard to translate that into film because film is inherently a visual medium (mostly). However, theater almost always relies on the audience visualizing more than what is really on stage, so I think it fits Lovecraft's works perfectly, especially because of how short most of them are. You can really take your time to flesh out the world and characters if you wanted to. Or just do like, a one-act thing. That woks too. 2. I understand leaving them as their original works, but I think the theatrical experience can elevate the experience of the written works or at least get the audience to see them in a new light. I think an ideal theatrical adaptation would leave the audience extremely unsettled, but wanting more. And they can get more by reading Lovecraft. So, I don't think it's too much of a problem. 3. I'm terribly sorry but like 95% of old, white guy authors were bad people and I think it's reasonable to be able enjoy and appreciate what they made while also condemning who they were. Plus, it's not like Lovecraft or his estate is making any money off this because his works are public domain babyyyy. But yes I need this to happen desperately and I'm afraid it won't. I'm heavily considering trying to make something myself (because the works are public domain and I am a writer), but I have a lot on my plate right now (including an In Trousers screenplay that I have mentioned in a post or two) so I have no idea when I'd be able to really work on it and try to fully realize it. Plus, I have zero connections in the theater world so getting a major production for it would be extremely hard. I still think it's cool, though. Let me know what you guys think. Is it possible? Or are his works better left as they are?

[therainscene]

Much of the supernatural horror that Will has to contend with works extremely well as a metaphor for his issues -- the Upside Down is the closet, the monsters represent homophobia, his powers are as repressed as he is, yadda yadda -- and in my opinion, this makes him a relatively easy character to analyze. Being able to draw on the supernatural stuff just gives you a lot more material to work with.

Mike, though? A goddamn enigma. He’s often present when supernatural stuff is happening, but he doesn’t interact with it to anywhere near the degree that Will does, and it’s much harder to fold him into the allegory being told here without reducing him to “Will’s love interest”.

And that’s interesting, don’t you think?

That the “stereotypical” gay boy who attracts homophobes like moths to a flame has had his issues laid out in code since the beginning? Whereas the straight-passing one, who’s so deep in the closet he’s probably not even out to himself yet, is so hard to read that most of the GA assume his bizarre personality change in S3 was a symptom of bad writing?

Figuring yourself out as a queer is a challenge even today, and part of the reason it’s so challenging is because heteronormativity steamrolls right over our right to know that being queer is a valid option.

The closet isn’t a queer space -- it’s a queer-shaped void within a heteronormative space.

Stranger Things is full of examples of this:

Will isn’t shy about expressing his disgust at the thought of dating girls, but he’s dealing with a lot of childhood trauma so he’s just a late bloomer, right?

Will is jealous and upset about his new step-sister’s relationship with the boy he’s been attached to at the hip since he was five, but it must be because he’s in love with her or otherwise misses his platonic buddy, right?

El’s character arc is about freeing herself from toxic relationships with men, but her infatuation with the boy who puts her on a pedestal is the one exception to that, right?

Robin shows zero romantic interest in men before coming out, but she and Steve just vibe so well it’s reasonable to assume they’re love interests, right?

Vickie paused Fast Times at fifty-three minutes five seconds, but she has a boyfriend so she must be straight, right?

Over and over, the show presents us with an ambiguously queer situation and dares us to assume it’ll end heteronormatively.

If this were any other show I’d call it queerbaiting... but these situations just keep ending in a non-heteronormative way, all while symbolically dancing around Mike.

Granted, “non-heteronormative” doesn’t necessarily equal gay -- El’s arc is more about independence and forging healthy platonic relationships than about replacing men with women -- but she’s still on the path to breaking out of comphet, which is rather a queer act regardless of whether she's literally queer herself.

But I’m digressing.

We’ve seen how Will is visibly queer and struggles with the trauma of being abused for it, and how his closet is symbolized by the existence of a literal alternate dimension full of monsters.

But Mike is invisible, so his closet isn’t represented by a metaphor at all, but by something more meta than that -- it’s etched out in the negative space formed by the narrative itself. Only the audience can see it, and then only if we’re paying attention, tracing the edges of the story and feeling out the shape it results in.

These two different approaches in depicting the struggle of being closeted remind me of drowning.

In films, drowning is a noisy and dramatic affair, easy to identify.

But in real life, drowning doesn’t look like what we think it does -- it’s silent and resembles calm water play. All too often, drowning victims will quietly slip under and succumb helplessly to the depths...

...right under everyone’s noses.

[campfam4lyfe]

So good to meet another Brookji/Kenlynn fan! What do you think that will happen between them in JWCT season 2 (or later seasons)?

YESSS ANOTHER BROOKENJI!!!!!

okay so, honestly, i have like. zero clue. of what i think will actually happen, because there could be so many different roads for them to take. i know what i want though, and that is a kenlynn endgame. i understand why they broke up, i do. but to see their faces as it happened. the devastation--neither of them wanted it. but kenji had to do it, and i dont blame him.

but guys! brooklynn loves the camp fam--she keeps their picture up on her mystery board. she kept it as her lockscreen. she loves them. i also have to say, that brooklynn loves kenji. as a boyfriend, as a lover--as her person. darius says she was real broken up about the breakup, and she clearly had regrets. she told darius about how and where it happened. she kept that video with the "brokwie bear" and "kenji wenji." she has that video because she couldn't help but film him bc she thought he was being cute. it was one of the first things they saw when they decided to look through her phone! she loves him!

and kenji loves her--his grief over her death, his anger at the people he suspected of being involved in her death--the constant "where were you's" to darius--he needed to know why he wasnt there. that bit where he says "be honest with me. if you loved brooklynn, and mean, really loved her, why werent you there?" broke me, absolutely, cause goddamn ouch. like. he loves her, so he couldnt imagine not showing up if she called him. to the extent where he needs to know why darius wasnt and its like. does he, somehow, blame himself a lot? is that a veiled, *i* could have been there, why didnt she want me there?? devastating stuff.

but. thats all s1 stuff. youre asking about season 2 and onwards! so. what i think will happen--okay, so, you remember how in the end of s1 cc they showed ben was alive? and then we got a ben&bumpy episode that spanned the near-month he was alone. im wondering if they'll do that with brooklynn at some point. truly, i dont know. its possible, but maybe there going to reveal it in pieces, like flashbacks.

i want to know how brooklynn survived. the extent of her realtionship with ronnie, and about all the stuff she'd uncovered abt the dino smugglers since she started till now.

but also, i want a reunion so so bad, and since CT was handling everything else so well, i think theyll do a reunion justice too. and that means i think they will give some of the characters space to be angry. obviously i think there will be relief--who wouldnt be, to find out your friend is alive? but then i think there might also be betrayal, or anger or both.

and maybe also a little horror. brooklynn lost her HAND. and those moments leading up to it must have been terrifying.

i want the fact that she has lost a hand to be addressed. for instance, she can't drive her motorcycle anymore, at least not without a proper prosthesis. and its clearly something she liked doing--her helmets! one for her and one for kenji. just. AHHHHHH you know???

i want kenji to be wooed, let brooklynn woo kenji CT writers, let them woo each other.

i realize i keep meandering and never properly answering your question. im so sorry! okay--i think things will be tense, probably, with relief mixed in, but also a lot of hurt, and some anger. i think brooklynn will have her reasons, its a matter of whether or not the camp fam can accept those reasons or not, after all, we cannot force anyone to accept our apologies. i think they will however, though it may be at different stages for different characters. i think kenlynn will be able to reconcile, and im hoping for a "i knew youd come around/dont ruin it" call back. (my biggest hope is for that ghost line callback tho) but i also think brooklynn will have to show kenji that she does value his time and being with him, and just, him. which, i think its clear she does, but she got a little too consumed with her mystery for a hot sec.

[suometar]

Okay so my insights about Alien: Romulus.

I've been a fan of the xenomorph franchise since 1997 when I first saw Alien Resurrection. It also made me a massive fan of the gorgeous and sometimes deeply disturbing surrealist art of H. R. Giger - to the point that I have his art tattooed on my skin (no, not the usual xenomoprh or the Li painting variants but a less known pieces called Vignettes).

So, back to Alien Romulus from someone who loves the franchise.

In short: Overall a solid 7+ / 10 from me despite some big flaws. If you like xenos; watch it!

Spoilers ahead.

Things I liked:

Solid story. Some say that it's a remake of the original Alien film, but I disagree. What did you expect? It's an Alien film. This is what Alien films are. All of them. I love it. 1. Someone is stupid enough to get an embryo inside a human. 2. Mayhem ensues. 3. A third stupid someone finds the place deserted (and this is where the story begins) 4. Mayhem ensues, again. 5. Final girl scene. Tell me this isn't the basic skeleton behind each and every Alien film. Good. Now can we just enjoy this predictability that's part of the fun?

As someone who's also read all the audiobooks and dramatisations made for the francise that are unconnected to the films plus the original Alien 3 script dramatisation (which is amazing btw, has Lance Henriksen and Michael Biehm playing Bishop and Hicks, warmly recommended listening), this film is a solid expansion of the universe. It explores the franchise universe from its own point of view - even though it includes several nods to the previous films. In my opinion it wouldn't be as good if it didn't have those touching points to the other films and apparently to the games as well.

Gripped my seat so tight that my dog found it uncomfortable to sleep on my lap XD The horror and thrilling parts were exquisite. Perfect execution.

Practical effects in 2024? HELL YES. I need to watch it again just to marvel at them again.

Perfect execution of set design that followed the original designs of the 1979 Alien film. Spot on. Absolutely adored the choice.

With that, including nods to Giger's original, overly sexual designs - perfection. I saw someone complain about it and I thought that they must've not ever checked Giger's art. That's exactly what it is. Call me a freak, but I loved the choice.

Loved the design of the grown xeno hatching from an egg. Every film brings a new fracture of info of the xeno growing cycle into light.

Andy!!! Hello? What a beautiful character. An A++++ performance from the actor. I honestly first thought based on his facial expressions that he was done with CGI. I was amazed when I realized that it was a real human being acting. Mind blown.

Now, things I didn't like in the film and that were big ones.

Showing where the xenomoprh problem originated and wreaked havoc on the space station - a BIG BIG minus. Part of the enchantment of these films is to learn with the characters what happened. I don't want it to be told to me as the very first thing in the film. Very disappointing choice that took part of the anticipation and horror away from the start.

Why were the face huggers in the fucking freezing pods? I have questions: - couldn't they just freeze the real eggs or were they running out of space on a fricking huge space station? They could've just stored them in a cargo container outside the station in space, in the fucking cold that would've taken care of the freezing. - who the fuck did the job of taking the facehuggers out from the eggs??? When the egg opens, the facehugger wakes up. I need an explanations - Overall: why there weren't any eggs??? They're part of the FUN.

WHERE WAS THE QUEEN WHO LAID THE EGGS???? I need her in EVERY ALIEN FILM. E X P L A I N !!!

They showed just one corridor leading to the hive? BORING. Show me the whole hive because it's always the only way out. Except this time and...dissapointing.

Acid blood not speading in zero G? It does get force to move from the impact of the bullets, thus it should still spread more violently in zero G and not just stay in place. Especially since in zero G it has nothing else but air that resists it's movement. My mind couldn't buy that.

They already did the humanoid white skinned xeno/human hybrid in Alien Resurrection. They could've invented something new.

Rook's CGI? If I can clearly tell something is CGI while watching on a large screen, it's badly made CGI. Rook was supposed to be a physical, remaining part of a synthetic. They made incredible practical effects for the xenos for this film and already Aliens had great puppet for broken Bishop. Why not go with a puppet instead? It would've been amazing. (To anyone who says they didn't like Rook: watch the original Alien. He IS a piece of shit. You're right in not liking him.)

Okay, I guess I'm done. For now.

[yt-playlists]

Comment by LiteraryBoner on Reddit

Talk about predictable endings. Five minutes into this movie I thought to myself, "I bet this ends with a cyclical quadruple male birth sequence" and wouldn't you know it. Garland is nothing if not predictable.

Obviously, I'm joking. This was a wild ride. I don't think it reaches the highs of his previous films (and DEVs) and it was interesting that this had zero sci-fi aspects, but as a psychological horror this was really something. The themes are something I'm going to be thinking about for a long time, but Jessie Buckley and Rory Kinnear are incredible and I was certainly never bored with it.

The pacing is probably going to be the biggest hurdle for the average filmgoer. After the setup there's a solid 10 minute sequence with no dialogue, and the movie does feel a bit longer than it is. The cherry on top, of course, is the classic 20 minute WTF ending that Garland showed an aptitude for with Annihilation. It wasn't an issue for me because this movie is still a tight 1h40m, but I could see some people being turned off by the pace.

Conceptually, there's a lot to unpack here. The obvious curious choice is that Rory Kinnear plays every man in this English countryside, something that is clearly not noticeable to our protagonist. So instantly I'm thinking this has more to do with what these men have in common rather than it just being some weird cesspool of inbreeding.

Each of the men seemed to display some sort of classic toxic trait, but also some sort of authority or excuse for being the way they are. The kid is just "troubled", the priest cares less about helping heal and more about being a creep, the cop doesn't see the harm in a naked stalker, and while Geoffrey seems perfectly nice the whole movie he is given away at the end when he violently pulls Harper from her car. It even feels very personal when he tries to run her over, trying to exact the eye for an eye rule on her even though hers was an accident.

It's hard to pin down exactly what it all meant without repeat viewings. But once the arm injury came into play in that horrifying sequence you notice that every Kinnear character now has that injury, which to me didn't exactly mean that they are all the same character, but rather they all have similar toxic thoughts about women, or this woman, however they cover them up. This kind of comes full circle when it's revealed that her dead husband had the same injuries from his fall.

There's also tons of Adam and Eve allegory here. Obviously the "forbidden fruit" moment from the trailer, but the cop also names the naked stalker as Adam at the bar. And at the beginning of that scene Geoffrey is trying to do a crossword and the word he was searching for was "pomegranate", which is widely believed to have been the actual forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. Also worth mentioning that when Adam first makes it into her garden, we see him examining the branch she picked the apple from. Perhaps what made him choose her as a victim.

I'm not sure this was aimed at religion as a whole, but more the idea that every man has a woman made for them, which is a basis of that story. At the end we find out that all the husband's violence revolves around just wanting her to love him, and not caring to understand that that's not an option. To me, this movie becomes about the entitlement of men and how much they don't care to consider the feelings of the target of their affection.

The cyclical birth scene, while being perfectly Garland and a very Suspiria-esque wild way to end thiss movie, seems to tell me exactly that. That these issues are cyclical, that they are still an issue because this community of men all kept letting it happen instead of trying to keep the naked stalker arrested or actually explaining to the child that just because a woman doesn't want to take part in your fun doesn't make her a stupid bitch.

Anyways, that's what I got out of it. I'd love to hear other thoughts about all this. Overall, I'd give this a solid 7/10. It could be an 8/10 on repeat viewings, but I really think the pacing was a bit off in the first half.

/r/reviewsbyboner

Nucking futs. But the way we think isnt random. We look and find patterns easily. This is how to be in life. Enjoy it and the movie. Wow the details thoo

[adamwatchesmovies]

Night Swim (2024)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

When I saw the trailer for Night Swim, all I could think was “This doesn’t look good” but I would’ve loved to have been proved wrong. For a while, Bryce McGuire's direction and some of the character moments made me think I'd misjudged it. Unfortunately, the longer it goes on, the more you realize this should’ve stayed a proof-of-concept short film or an installment in an anthology at best.

Ray and Eve Waller (Wyatt Russel and Kerry Condon), along with their children Izzy and Elliot (Amélie Hoeferle and Gavin Warren) move to a new home. As Ray spends more time in the pool in the backyard, the illness that caused him to retire from professional baseball seems to go into remission. The rest of the family, however, keep seeing and experiencing strange things in the water.   “Just stay out of the pool!”

I know that’s what you think when you hear the premise of a haunted swimming pool. Those were my exact thoughts too. Night Swim is based on McGuire and Rod Blackhurst’s short film, with both writing and McGuire serving as the film's director (his directorial debut). To their credit, they craft a scenario that makes you understand why the family doesn’t just pack their bags the second they see something spooky beneath the surface. That’s assuming it IS that easy to just move, of course. We’re not told exactly what happened to Ray, but he used to be a pro player. Now, he’s not. He has to walk around with a cane. When the pool starts working its magic on him and he’s suddenly hitting the ball like he used to - maybe even better - you can understand why he ignores the weird, unexplainable things his family has been experiencing. He hasn’t seen any of that stuff, after all, and none of them can concretely, 100% for sure confirm that there’s something bad in the pool. Helping the film is that with three other family members plus some guests who show up at a party, the pool only needs to establish itself as sinister once to each person for us to get the message. It’s not like people are constantly going in there despite bad experiences.

Beyond the character work used to keep the plot going, there are some clever scenes/images in the water. Putting a spooky twist on “Marco Polo” might be obvious but it's effective nonetheless. There’s one moment during the climax built around the idea that you experience a sort of “zero gravity” effect in the water that’s particularly good.

Eventually, we learn the backstory of the evil pool and it’s the horror equivalent of a lukewarm glass of water. Not original, not interesting. I’ll go even further and say it also doesn’t make much sense, almost as if the premise couldn’t sustain a full-length movie but we had to keep things moving so… what if the pool made you do THIS now? It leads to a conclusion that isn’t satisfying at all. It sinks all the solid character material we had previously. Then, there’s the fact that this movie repeatedly shows these awful-looking ghosts in the water. They’re not scary, even when the scene was previously effective.

I found some kind words to say about Night Swim because I don’t hate this movie. It works its premise better than expected, but that’s not enough to make it good and to most viewers, all of the positive things I scraped together won’t add up to much because the film is about a haunted pool and the end results are as scary as that sounds. I’m not saying the premise couldn’t work. The short this is based on shows it could. I’m saying it doesn’t work for a full-length movie. (June 29, 2024)

[d2kvirus]

17/1/24 Fact or Fiction

Statement #1: John Wick: Chapter 4 was the best movie of 2023. ABSTAIN - As I haven't seen it (or, you know, John Wicks 2 or 3) I can't say whether it is or is not the best film of 2023, though I can say it would have to be pretty bloody spectacular to dislodge Oppenheimer, Godzilla Minus One or Suzume (due to the UK release being in 2023, it counts) from my personal top three. Thought there is one way to say John Wick 4 was the best film of 2023, and that is if I say that The Stray's was my second-favourite film of 2023, with literally every other film (including ones I haven't seen) ahead of it. You get the feeling that I thought The Strays was an irredeemable pile of shite, don't you...?

Statement #2: You want to see more “experimental” horror movies after the success of movies like Skinamarink and The Outwaters in 2023. FACT - Although hopefully not "experimental" as a euphemism for "half-baked crap carried by its visual style", because I don't want another Cosmopolis and/or Crimes of the Future experience if I can potentially avoid it

Statement #3: Moving forward, the MCU needs to pivot away from the Kang character and the “multiverse” in general. FICTION - The MCU definitely needs to pivot, as 2023 was the year where people caught on to how it is the very definition of "content" in the reaction channel definition of the word, but what it needs to pivot towards is something that shakes the formula up. Oh who are we kidding, this is Disney we're talking about, so they'll just do an MCU/Star Wars crossover

Statement #4: The Last of Us was the best TV show of 2023. FICTION - It was good, in fact it was very good, but Inside No 9 takes the crown for me, because which other show can have people raging about an episode being bumped for a gameshow and then getting wrongfooted as the gameshow was the episode? And that's barely scratching the surface...

Statement #5: The only thing left worth watching on network TV is live sports. FICTION - Partly because Inside No 9 is on network TV in the UK, and partly because live sports is either the dregs that Sky or BT don't want such as darts, snooker, darts, crown green bowls and darts, Six Nations matches other than England home games (which are on Sky, along with the one song their supporters sing when England are at least 10 points up with five minutes to go...) and because the live football is almost inevitably Manchester United's match in every single round of the FA Cup until they're eliminated

Statement #6: The producers of the Scream franchise need to do whatever it takes to get Melissa Barrera and Jenna Ortega back. Barrera already met with Spyglass Media a week or two ago, and that meeting lasted all of 45 second between her walking in and walking out again. In other words, Spyglass need to accept that they fucked it and put the franchise on the backburner

Statement #7: You find it annoying that streaming TV series can have any random number of episodes per season and new seasons can sometimes take years to come out without any explanation. FICTION - In terms of streaming platforms, there are far more annoying things they can do with shows, such as cancel them after a season or two, or what Crunchyroll did a couple of years ago and put 95% of their shows behind a paywall with zero warning, while All4 found a new way to be annoying in 2023 by heavily advertising a couple of shows but neglecting to mention that they'd be leaving the platform within a month. So if anyone would like to let me borrow their Apple TV account so I can finish watching The Girl from Plainview...?

Statement #8: We won’t see any theatrical events in 2024 like we did in 2023 with Barbenheimer or the Taylor Swift concert film. FICTION - Guaranteed somebody will try to manufacture one like that at some point in 2024. Actually, scratch that, attempts at forcing another Barbenheimer have already happened as we saw desperate attempts to make Saw Patrol a thing with Paramount even tweeting about it, though we were robbed of ExorSwift when Universal lost their nerve. That being said, if a cinema did happen to show Oppenheimer and Godzilla Minus One at the same time, there is still time to make Godzenheimer a thing. Come on, people!!!

[desultory-novice]

@mobgabriel said…

“frankly if they made a movie with the "relatable real person" and didn't use adeline for the role i would be shocked because of how obvious of an idea it is, she is already a real character who is one of the 2 humans that we see in the setting(with the other one being kirby universe's equivalent of samus),who has very little lore(as far as i remenber the most backstory we get from her is that she went to popstar to study art in the K64 manual wich is frequently ignored) and has ties to what is by far one of the dark matter trilogy wich is one of the best stories to adapt to a kirby movie and you can easily do a emotional climax by having adeline being possessed as a nod to the source material(wich feeds into my extremely Sisyphean hope that the series will one day explore the eldritch horrors of its antagonists form a POV that isn't kirby's)”

I’m of two minds.

I would say my main argument against using Adeleine for THIS is that, as a big Adeleine fan, I’m hesitant to see her worked into the “ingenue in distress” role! I’m a fan of her character (thin as it is, officially) which is why I try to be careful in my own use of her.

Even in Apologies AU, it is mostly Noir quietly pining over their life’s tragedies as I didn’t want to twist Adeleine into the kind of character who is like, grieving the loss of her family so deeply she can no longer get out of bed or remember what food tastes like... Not against sad Adeleine HC though! And a thoughtful/wistful Christopher Robin type Ado is one of my favs! But I do think it’s beneficial to use sparingly rather than risk it becoming the fandom zeitgeist!

Back when I wrote my own fairly serious attempt ^^; at a Kirby movie treatment (though I would change things up if I did it again…) I choose to make Ribbon the “heroine in need of a hero during the 3/4s mark” for that reason! I didn’t love Hollywood heroine-ifying her either, but she DOES have a movie-sized problem in 64 and it did require Kirby’s assistance to solve! Their teaming up to fight Zero 2 feels like one of those kinda ~legendary~ moments that make them the most likely to occupy the lead hero and heroine spots.

The other reason is that anime movies of this type seem to peddle in one-off characters that people utterly unfamiliar with the property can imprint onto. It’s not MY preference, as a fan. I know "member berries" (?) or whatever it's called when new movies dangle cheap nostalgia in front of you is a tech that gets a lot of flack (for being done as a shoddy cash grab, I would like to think) but I WOULD like to be able to point at the colorful shape on screen and go “AH!” instead of be forced to empathize with some random kid we KNOW will NEVER show up again. ("We'll stay friends forever!" :said through tears: "Note: Poochie died on the way back to his home planet")

But can’t deny it seems to be industry standard. And if we're talking about the -possibility- of a Kirby happening movie, even in a highly fictionalized and fun way, the dead-eyed working stiff in me can't help but chime in with "Now, this is how they WOULD do it. Even if it's not necessarily how they should." XD

Oh and I agree that the Dark Matter trilogy/the Dark Matter invasion would make a good movie plot! Zero + Dark Matter are presented as an immediate a global threat, and a visible, compelling one (scary eyeballs!) that is easy to follow!

I've mentioned before that I disagree about RtDL making for "the best" game to movie pipeline project - though I would say now even RtDL could be adapted into a nice movie! It would just have to be one of those compilation movie "retell the story" type deals where you know what you’re going to see. I still hold it would be kinda a bad choice for this hypothetical of “big Hollywood film to use to introduce Kirby and his friends to a wider audience/global audience."

So, if we ever got a DM Trilogy adaptation, I would absolutely love to see our girl in it, but...I also have fond memories of like, various Sailor Moon movies (...okay, I admit it, I’m thinking specifically of that one pegasus one?! XD) and I do think a new, one-off human character would be a way to pull that adaptation off!

:on that note, I've been wanting to design a gijinka for Zero and Gooey so I can pair them with Noir for various fun cough FUN times:

-

>Explore the series’s horrors from an outside Kirby perspective 

👀 Ooh, I like this concept too!

For an actually good Kirby movie idea that still has the mandated "relatable real person": Kirby's clash with Eifilis (which takes place on Shiver Star) causes Kirby to be sent back in time to when Earth was Earth, leading to Kirby making friends with a struggling autistic kid. Kirby, wanting to make sure his new friend stays alive, brings him into the future... Unfortunately, this kid was important to the future of Kirby, being the basis of Zero's negative energy, so Kirby is faced with a dilemma: fix his present, and cause the kid to suffer, or sit in an unfamiliar future, with a friend whose no longer in pain.

Ooh, I think you've got something GOOD going here! In combination with @newthinkerer’s “Kirby movies by decade” this feels like a movie plot that really could have happened! (Give or take the use of the Forgotten Land and Elfilis as major plot points, which would otherwise necessitate it as a “newish” thing.)

Now, I'm a child of the 80s >w> so I can easily envision this as an undiscovered 2D animated movie of that era, in the vein of like, the Rainbow Brite movie, that ends up with surprising amounts of heart despite also playing a little fast and loose with canon! (And experiences a revival in light of the terrible Hollywood Kirby! XD)

It would probably also have a weirdly catchy earworm of an ending song that would have the hardcores combing through used stores and internet archives trying to find the cleanest rip of... (COUGH)

Listen half these lyrics sound like they COULD come from a Kirby movie!!

[citowon]

spring troupe and gender neutral s/o watch horror movies

about time i finally write for this blog... i was hit with the image of masumi watching a horror movie with his s/o, thought how lovely it would be if there was content of that, then realized i have that power now

word count: 1,935

tags: established relationship, non-detailed mentions of horror themes (gore, monsters, etc)

sakuya sakuma

🌸 when the topic of a horror movie date first comes up, he’s a bit scared. he’s only seen a couple, one of which was for mankai play research.

🌸 when it’s actually showing, though, he’s pretty calm! the anticipation was the worst part, and he somehow doesn’t get scared even during the most terrifying movie of the year. he’s great at reminding himself it’s just fictional in the end

🌸 vampires? not scary. aliens? he thinks they’re cute! gore? well, yeah, it’s unnerving at first but it’s all fake, and once he reminds himself of that he’s fine

🌸 he gets scared at the littlest things though. there might be a continuity error where a knife is in its holder on the counter in one shot and then removed the next, and no one in the movie acknowledges it nor is it supposed to mean anything but he can and will psych himself out thinking about just what moved it

🌸 king of predicting plot twists! he might be very good at spotting continuity errors, but he’s even better at picking out little bits of foreshadowing and putting together the mystery

🌸 gets spooked the most by jumpscares. every time he squeaks a bit (on really bad ones he might scream) and every time he always does the same embarrassed sigh afterwards and goes to squeeze your hand to calm himself

🌸 psychological horror is definitely the best pick for sakuya. he thinks a lot about what’ll happen next in the movie and loves to discuss about movies with you regardless of the genre, so with thought-provoking psychological films it fits him like a glove

🌸 and hey, if things ever get too intense he loves b-list horror movies! he thinks the bad acting is endearing and always finds something to compliment even with the trashiest, corniest flick

🌸 if you ever get uncomfortable, he might commentate in the movie and try to poke fun at it- i mean, the killer clown is kind of funny! look how bright and colorful it is compared to the rest of the set! he keeps his voice light and sunny so you have something comforting to concentrate on

masumi usui

🎧 he loves the idea of horror night. cuddling with you, holding you protectively as the suspense rises, stealing kisses to distract you from the monster and erase your fear...

🎧 he’s only seen a few horror movies in his life, less than the fingers he has on one hand, but whatever. it’s a movie. it’s not real. if he got too immersed he could just tell himself it’s fake and be done with it.

🎧 spoiler alert: he didn’t.

🎧 masumi did not, and i repeat, did NOT expect to get so invested??? even if you’re scared, he’s definitely the most terrified

🎧 that’s not to say he’ll show it. he’s doing everything to keep a neutral face, and you’ll probably assume he’s holding to you tighter during the scary parts like he’s protecting you.

🎧 (it’s actually because you’re the one [1] thing grounding him. you’re protecting him, not the other way around! in hindsight, he likes being cared for even when he thought he’d be the one spoiling you, not the other way around. he just wishes it didn’t have to be during such a scary movie, that’s all)

🎧 will take his fear to the grave... unless you ask him directly about it. please hold him and tell him the monsters aren’t real, even though he’s a heavy sleeper he will stay up until 3 am, his mind reminding him how creepy the movie was every time he’s about to drift off

🎧 so does not fuck with ghosts, if he didn’t believe in them before he certainly does now. the poor guy looks up how to ward away spirits and ends up carrying around a salt packet on him for the next two weeks

tsuzuru minagi

📖 tsuzuru’s not exactly a horror fan. he claims it’s brainless and pointless

📖 (admittedly he’s a little scared of them, but he still thinks they’re dependent on shock alone, and have zero rewatch value since the writing is more focused on in-the-moment spooks than actual plot.)

📖 he’ll roll his eyes and tease you a little but eventually he’ll go along with watching a horror movie

📖 to psych himself out of his fear tsuzuru decides to watch them critically and note what plot points to do (or more likely not to do) for future plays

📖 this works out for the beginning but by the middle of the movie he’s enraptured. he can’t tell if it’s actually good or if it’s a car wreck he can’t help but watch

📖 does the corny move where he yawns and wraps an arm around you, and you’d almost buy it from his earlier cynicism but then the killer shows their face and he tenses up like hell and you just know

📖 gets embarrassed every time he’s scared- he even turns pink, and gets even redder if you try to hold his hand or cuddle him closer (even though there’s nothing he’d want more after something that creepy)

📖 by the end he’s got a few new ideas that might go to autumn or winter troupe’s latest plays, and admits okay, fine, maybe horror isn’t so pointless after all

itaru chigasaki

🎮 screw movies, you’re playing horror games instead!

🎮 most of itaru’s horror games are single-player, so one of you takes the controller while the other sits next to the player, but itaru’ll drape his arms around you from behind in a back hug the entire time you play

🎮 he doesn’t really shut up. the entire time, he’s either cracking a joke or trying to freak you out more, if only so he doesn’t get in his head and overthink the creepy atmosphere

🎮 asshole only quiets down when the game gets tense, and then suddenly puts his hands around your shoulders or neck to scare you. regardless if you fall for it or not, he always laughs at himself and just-so-happens to break the tension as a scary cutscene plays

🎮 still commentates when he’s the player, but gasps or jumps even at small atmospheric scares

🎮 itaru definitely overthinks the game. he gets super cautious over tiny details and makes the missions way harder than they should be since he keeps overestimating the enemy line of sight and how noisy the avatar is

🎮 if you happen to be playing a co-op horror it’s a constant “no u” battle over who should do the scariest tasks

🎮 “reader, we need to cleanse the room next. you should do it” “no, you should do it. you have the quartz item remember” “i can give it to you since you have the ghost ward” “the ghost ward doesn’t apply to this quest, besides, you’re better at this ghost attack quick time event than me” “no it does, and you’re more optimized” “i can just give the items to you-“ “no you should do it” “no you” “no you” “no you” “no y-”

🎮 you both lose

citron

🍋 citron loves horror movies! he thinks they’re... comforting?

🍋 turns out he’s only seen movies about cursed dolls and b-horror, which explains a lot- he loves dolls too much to be scared by them and he thinks b-list horror is hilarious- but he’ll still proudly proclaim he’s unflappable and swear to protect you from the bad guys

🍋 when you’re actually watching the movie you can’t tell if he’s faking his reactions or not. he’s very noisy

🍋 he gets scared enough during the gruesome and horrific scenes to hold you close and tight like a teddy bear, and during the worst of it he might muffle a scream by diving into the crook of your neck, obscuring his vision until the scene changes

🍋 and yet, he laughs at the next scene’s unrealism, and manages to poke enough fun at the movie that you giggle and his terror disappears, he loves your laugh way more than he can be afraid of monsters

🍋 can’t do gore for the life of him, but when it comes to the actual plot, he’s rather critical of characters acting dumb. he catches on to nonsensical writing quick, but usually asks you to clarify the plot holes before realizing that he found a loophole in the writing

🍋 whenever you’re scared and not even his goofy reactions and commentary can help, he plants a sweet kiss on your cheek, strokes your hair, and holds you close to his chest until the fear goes away. he’s surprisingly good at protecting you from the movie

🍋 after the movie he’ll say his country has a similar legend to the movie monsters, but he claims the legends are true in zafra, and zafrans have a very specific tradition to prevent the monsters from attacking them

🍋 the movie also gave citron the idea of creepily standing behind you silently until you turn around and get startled, or occasionally chanting in a strange, cultish language and pretending he didn’t say a thing, or making a doll with the same markings as the clown puppet from the movie...

🍋 citron continues to be even scarier than the actual horror movie, but can’t wait until the next horror night! maybe watching it was a bad idea after all...

chikage utsuki

🌙 chikage just doesn’t get the appeal of horror. it’s just a fake movie, why do people get so creeped out by terrible sfx and unrealistic monsters?

🌙 he’s seen scarier things than any werewolf pack, zombie outbreak, or witch coven can throw at him. if you insist on watching a scary movie, fine, he’ll be happy to let you sit on his lap, just don’t expect to creep him out as well, or else you’ll be sorely disappointed.

🌙 he analyzes the movie more than he watches it, but doesn’t speak up even though the fight scenes look pitiful. if this were real life, he’d sweep the whole brood of shambling monstrosities in record time and be back home in time for izumi’s curry

🌙 chikage runs his hands under your shirt whenever the monster’s on screen to scare you. it’s actually really creepy- his fingers are light and quick and always makes you flinch, even if you know it’s just your boyfriend

🌙 he’ll listen to your thoughts about the movie, but doesn’t have strong opinions himself. he thinks the scares are mediocre at best, even without considering his background, but won’t mention how unrealistic it was unless you mention it first.

🌙 psychological horror, however, is a whole different story

🌙 maybe chikage can’t get scared by generic spirit halloween monsters but once you introduce thought-provoking plot, questions and dilemmas, now he’s hooked

🌙 he really likes wondering if the protagonist is actually the good guy and making theories about the origins of the monsters and why they’re so destructive, even if he forgets about them once the movie’s over.

🌙 love love looooves the “the monsters were harmless creatures before humans dished out the first blow” trope. he knows how common it is, but there’s a lot of ways to go about it, especially on a subtextual level, and he just can’t get enough

🌙 the deeper the plot is, expect a longer conversation about the ins and outs of it. they get surprisingly thoughtful and introspective, even if chikage throws in a few bullshit stories related to the movie just to watch you squirm

[babygirlgalitzine]

Ohhhh what are your top 10 duff duffs?

be prepared to come inside my chaotic brain because some of these are ones that people won't remember, some that are iconic and some are special enough to have julia's themes

also this changes a fair bit

this is long I'm sorry I have many thoughts

"how come you don't know?" "know what?" "that den watts is still alive!" - dennis and sharon

no duff duff will ever beat this. you had the suspense for weeks that dennis knew something that the audience didn't. the way it was delivered mid argument is incredible. the anger on dennis' face and the shock and horror on sharon's. it is eastenders at its best and i will love this forever

2. christmas 2005 - snowball fight

this whole christmas period is iconic. kat and alfie getting back together in the snow !!!! sharon and dennis finding out they’re having a little baby which is all that dennis ever wanted and sharon thought she could never give to him !!!! its so nostalgic for me, this episode is my comfort christmas episode and the fact it ended with all the characters having this massive snowball fight was just perfect

3. "you can't tell me what to do you ain't my mother!" "yes i am!!!" - kat and Zoe

this sl is starting on classic ee and i'm so ready for the reveal. the fact that this story wasn't even meant to happen, the producer just really wanted jessie to be on the show so they created this character story...iconic. the fact that the storyline started at the start of them coming into the show and built over time and hints were dropped constantly until the reveal and even then people didn't understand the gravity of it...its perfect

4. bobby killed lucy

when i tell you we spoke about this sl EVERY DAY in school. everyone i knew had a different guess. i said bobby for about a month before the reveal and even i was shocked. the fact it made national press speaks for itself really, it truly is such an iconic duff duff

5. tiffany's death

this was harrowing, i can still hear bianca's scream. the fact that frank was the one who killed her was genius by the writers; the way it was filmed is so raw, i love it. that last shot of the light in her eyes...beautiful. also sidenote when bianca came back and she'd named tiff after her i remember crying lmao

6. sharongate

literally one of the best reveals of all time. one of the most iconic soap storylines, EVER. the fact that its a drunk confession that gets recorded, and the fact that grant has zero idea, the way that he smiles when sharon talks about him and then she starts talking about phil and his smile fades...impeccable

7. grant and courtney in the airport

full disclosure, i was obsessed with this as a child. "he said if you didn't want it i could spend it on shoes" gets quoted on the regular by myself because i love this duff duff so much. the fact it was a julia's theme as well and we didn't see grant for another 10 years after that so its v special to me

8. christian and syed julia's theme exit

the first gay julia's theme I believe? it was so special to me that they got that, and i loved that it was happy and they literally went off into the sunset together. it's one storyline that will always have a piece of my heart

9. nigel telling clare that her mum's dead

this is one i watched for the first time a couple of years ago and although i wasn't attached to any of the characters, i had a soft spot for nigel and this scene absolutely shattered me. the fact that its silent is perfect. you didn't need to hear what he said because clare's reaction spoke for itself

10. stuart and rainie's exit

yes it just happened tonight but if you'd told me that when stuart came into the show, i would be sobbing my heart out at him leaving, I would've laughed in your face. they are perfect for each other in their chaotic way and i love them for it

[petty-crush]

“The Garbage Pail Kids Movie” (Rewatch)

-I haven’t seen this film in well over a decade; last time I thought it might just be the worst film in existence (I was curious to see if still true)

-I actually really liked the opening; with the spinning trading cards credits over the trash can heading towards earth in space ala Star Wars 77

-it registers more now how this is very much a 50’s juvenile drama, with the kid just being bullied because that’s spine of the story

-actress Marjory Graue is a total babe in this (as Blythe, the leopard print wearing hench woman)

+it totally makes sense they do close ups of her boobs and thighs in her second scene

-there are hearty chuckles in set design details, such as the toxic waste pipes being labeled as “zoo”, “prime time tv”, “horse farms” “CIA” etc

-then the reality of this film sets in; it is exceedingly boring

-that’s really what knocked me out when I saw it first; I was curious to see a gross out gremlins/ghoulies type film and instead this flavorless mush drags on and on and on and on

-I’d like to be kinder to this film but it’s like eating a food that makes me spit it out; my body rejects it

-my initial screening was at home on tape, it took me three separate viewings to finish it

+in the wonderful New Beverley theatre, with comfy AC and the ability to stop it removed, it passed over like a looming (faintly odorous) ghost shop

-when I bought my ticket, I actually got a garbage pail kids trading card (“Well Done Sheldon”)

-I also had to put a stop to a near fist fight over a guy who cut ahead in line (by accident) of a family of three

-maybe I should have let it ride, witness the first garbage pail scuffle in many a moon

-anywho

-much has been made of films that are “so bad they are good”

-“garbage pail” is not one of those films

-I actually dislike that phrase and think a better one is “so garish that its inventive moxie has to be applauded”

-“Troll 2” is the film that “garbage” wants to be; a genuinely funny, well shot, complete absurd o tron, with preposterous effects, and an engaging child lead.

+that film kept my eyes glued the entire time; I wanted to know what would happen next

-the real sinker of “Garbage” is the character of Doger; he is firmly in the “boring ass white boy” mode the entire film

-I want to be precise; I don’t hold actor Mackenzie Astin at fault. He tries ; director Amateau cuts legs off in miscasting and in his directing

-the spine of this film is Doger wanting to impress unrepentant human toad Tangerine; she’s into fashion so he makes the garbage kids sew clothes for her fashion show

-structurally, the film never makes me believe or understand why Doger likes Tangerine, other than, I infer with great effort, boobs (fair)

-I like films that try different things but nothing about the fashion element(as opposed to a wave of pranks) ever seems more than lukewarm

-allegedly this was going to be a straight up horror film at first but FX maestro/director John Carl Buechler parted ways with the production

-irresponsible speculation; was he bitter and did he sabotage the film with very sub-par FX costumes, this forcing more time on the weak sauce Doger?

-incidentally, the same year as this film, Buchler directed the fantastic, punches way above its weight class, “Cellar Dweller” a lil low budget gem

-am I rocketing away from talking about this film at length because of allergic reaction?

+ I suppose I am

-the idea of the garbage kids interrupting a fashion show, the terrorizing of the beautiful “normies” (as it calls them) would make a great naughty comedy.

-this is not that film. That film would be a fierce roundhouse, this is very mild jab

-director Amateau has a comedy background, yet seems happy to just be working, limping to the finish

-the film def tries to mock the shallow love of beauty in the 80’s; it just never makes it entertaining

-some fucking twisted anarchy, zero respect for story would be lovely

-the plot point of “state home for the ugly” lies there like a dead squirrel

-there was some really good black lemonade soda at the concession stand

-is this really the worst film of all time? Naw

-I was bracing for it to be, but I’m just a different person now,

-as a kid, I wasn’t all that familiar with the monotony of deflated (film) expectations

-now as an adult, I’ve seen more of it, and my reactions can be more coherent

-that’s character development

-so there was a laugh (a desperate need for it) when Doger tells Tangerine “I don’t find you pretty anymore”...but doesn’t that undercut the film poking fun at shallowness?

-I get that the implied cruelty of the 3 stooges possibly turning a dog into a hot dog (the garbage kids go to a movie theatre) ties in with (the idea of) what the film wants to be

+ but it also really underlines the (mis)decisions this film made when it used a short with Shemp, not Curly

-I came not to bury this film, but quickly chuck dirt its way. I’ll gladly forget it within a week, and never more again

[hope-grace-serenity]

In Defense of the Deputy: Morals and Ethics in Far Cry 5

The narratives of recent Far Cry installments have been framed in a way that make the player question whether or not they’re truly playing as the “good guy.” In Far Cry 3, Jason slowly embraces the violent lifestyle on Rook Island, gradually finding the killing to be a fun power trip instead of the horrifying reality that it is. In Far Cry 4, Ajay topples a ruthless dictator, only to replace him with a revolutionary that is either a religious extremist or a person who has children kidnapped in order to make them into soldiers/slaves. In Far Cry 5, the Deputy goes up against a professed prophet in an attempt to subdue him and his cult, only to find in the end that the prophet was right about the end of the world. It is logical to think that if the Deputy would have just left the cult well enough alone, then that would have been the right choice, as it would have avoided the war between Eden’s Gate and the rest of Hope County, as possibly the Collapse itself. However, there is a different way to view it.

The purpose of this post is to convey that Joseph being accurate regarding the Collapse does not necessarily mean that avoiding confrontation with Eden’s Gate or joining them would have been the “right” thing to do. In fact, it will suggest the opposite: that the Deputy has a moral and ethical obligation to fight *against* Eden’s Gate and that the actions of the cult are firmly wrong despite the Collapse happening. While we as players can certainly feel empathy for the Seeds, their actions within the game make them the clear villains in this scenario, in my opinion. The Deputy deserves no blame for attempting to subdue the cult, and I will explain why by focusing on both in-universe rationale and looking at the narrative from a broader perspective.

The Warrant

First, we need to examine the idea of morality and ethics. Morality refers to a person’s principles of right and wrong--this is something that can be influenced by a person’s culture, religion, family, experiences, etc. Ethics refers to rules of conduct given by some kind of external source. In Far Cry 5, the protagonist is a law enforcement official with an ethical obligation to uphold the law and confront those who break it. Furthermore, from the perspective of a 21st century American--which we can assume the Deputy is, based on the setting of the game--Eden’s Gate commits several acts that cause harm and remove the personal agency of others, which provides the Deputy with a moral motivation for stopping them, as opposed to solely an ethical one.

An arrest warrant is made for Joseph Seed due to suspicion of kidnapping with an intent to harm. The Deputy choosing not to go through with the arrest would be bad from both a moral and ethical perspective. “Kidnapping with an intent to harm” is a serious charge, and can be a matter of life or death for the victim. Imagine if you were the parent or sibling of the kidnapping victim, and you found out that the law enforcement officials chose not to go through with the arrest of the suspect because they were afraid of rocking the boat. If that information was made public, the law enforcement officials would be rightly criticized for not doing their jobs, and for prioritizing their own desire for convenience over bringing justice to the victim. By arresting Joseph Seed, the Deputy made the moral and ethical decision.

As we see from the main game, the “suspicions” listed in the arrest warrant are later proven to be correct. Alex is killed, and his body is mutilated and put on public display as a warning. Hannah is tortured physically and psychologically, and is also killed due to her forced participation in Jacob’s trials. Joseph and several members of Eden’s Gate knew that they kidnapped the film crew. They knew in advance that Law Enforcement was coming. So, how do they decide to handle this? In a way befitting for characters who are meant to be viewed as villains.

Before the Reaping

Before we get into what the Deputy actually sees in-game, one thing needs to be made clear: Eden’s Gate always had an underlying darkness surrounding them. Regardless of what they looked like on the surface, they were never some peaceful hippie commune that was minding its own business before the Deputy came along. They’ve been committing crimes and getting away with them for years. They didn’t suddenly snap once the Deputy arrived--the Deputy’s arrival simply peeled back and revealed what was already there.

We know from the “Grieving Note” that Angels have been with Eden’s Gate for several years, longer than the current Faith has been with the group. Angels are humans who are exposed to an extreme amount of the Bliss drug, which causes them to lose their capacity for human thought and essentially act as a literal mindless follower. Their loss of identity and individuality is furthered by Eden’s Gate shaving the heads of the Angels and surgically removing their ability to speak. They act as slave labor--described as "beasts of burden"--and are fed dog food and garbage. The idea of becoming an angel is used as a threat to fellow cultists in the “Cult Note” in the King’s Hot Springs Hotel. The fact that Eden's Gate creates and condones the existence of these Angels is truly disturbing from a moral perspective, due to the inherent exploitation and dehumanization. When Angels die, their bodies are tossed in a pit of “boiling muck” in Horned Serpent Cave to disintegrate.

Angels aren’t the only ones thrown in the pit to disintegrate: Joseph threw the body of Lana, a previous Faith, in there as well, despite being told by him that she was “special.” There is a reason the writers chose to highlight that the bodies were disposed of in here, as opposed to the cult simply burying them. Bodies are disintegrated if you want to hide evidence, and by tossing the bodies in a location with properties dangerous enough to require a bio-hazard sign, any crimes are easily covered up. We don’t find the bodies of Selena or the other previous Faiths who were "used up and thrown away" by Joseph, but considering there are hints that point to foul play (disintegration of Lana’s body, Megan leaving out of fear of what Joseph could do after seeing that there was a new Faith, the way the position itself is dehumanized, the fact that Joseph has a designated corpse disposal spot in the first place, etc.) and absolutely zero evidence towards any kind of alternate fate for the previous Faiths, it’s easy to put two and two together and conclude that the previous Faiths met a grisly fate that was covered up as well.

Eden’s Gate was also involved in animal abuse through the creation of Judges, which were unleashed after the reaping. These animals were kidnapped and forcibly exposed to an obscene amount of the Bliss drug, which purposely causes them to act like rabid killers in the service of Eden’s Gate. According to NPCs, they were trained to hunt humans.

Let’s also not forget that Joseph personally gorged a guy’s eyes out for being a traitor. If the developers didn’t want us to view Joseph as someone who was capable of doing that, then they would have removed it from the introductory video, but they didn’t. Also, the fact that Eden’s Gate has been planning for the Reaping for a while now shows that this group had the intent to launch a large-scale attack from before the Deputy even arrived at the compound.

And last but certainly not least, YEARS before the events of FC5, Jacob sent the Cook to kidnap Jess’s family. The Cook starved the family for days before torturing the parents and children by playing sick mind games and feeding the parents' flesh to their children. After all their toes were cut off, the parents were set on fire in front of their kids. The fact that this happened years ago, and this Cook is still with the group, is quite telling and reveals a lot about the morality and priorities of Eden’s Gate. If they wanted to get rid of him, they would have.

So as we can see, Eden’s Gate has no moral high ground to stand on at the start of the game. Not only is Joseph guilty of the crime he is accused of, but he and his organization are guilty of so much more, and have been for years. These actions committed by Eden’s Gate violate numerous laws and are morally wrong, as they bring severe harm to others and/or forcibly remove another’s personal agency for the convenience of the cult. The Deputy uncovers all of this throughout the course of the game.

During the Reaping

Knowledge of Eden’s Gate’s past crimes would be reason enough to take down this cult, but the Deputy also sees the current horrors firsthand. During the Reaping, cultists kidnap, torture, mutilate, and murder numerous unwilling participants. They steal supplies and were willing to kidnap a beloved pet dog in order to perform experiments on him and turn the poor dog into a savage killer, after killing his owners. Defaced corpses are decorated and strung up as warnings. Some citizens of Hope County are fed to Judges, while others are turned into Angels or are forced to leap off a giant statue. If someone doesn’t convert to the religion of Eden’s Gate, then they are either tortured or drugged until they give in, or murdered.

The Deputy has zero incentive to walk away from this conflict. Why would they? As a deputy of Hope County, they have a moral and ethical obligation to protect the county’s citizens, and those citizens are under attack by Eden’s Gate. Eden’s Gate are the aggressors in this scenario. *They* are the ones who are kidnapping, murdering, torturing, and brainwashing the Hope County citizens. As far as the Deputy is aware at the beginning of the game, they are the only remaining police officer and only person in a position of authority to fight against the cult. It is their responsibility to fight against the people causing grievous harm to the county.

Throughout the game, the Deputy’s personal encounters with the heralds further reinforce the idea that Eden’s Gate is dangerous and beyond reason. While confessions can and should be voluntary, John does not approach it in that way. John kidnaps, terrorizes, and tortures the hardened Joey Hudson to the point of tears, and brings the Deputy to his torture dungeon where he once pried confessions under duress from prior individuals of the county. He kidnapped the Deputy in order to forcibly baptize them to the point where they might have drowned without Joseph’s interference, and captures them in order to make them confess, using the presence of Hudson as leverage (Hudson’s misery was also used as incentive on the video to draw the Deputy to the Holland region). He lures the Deputy to the church in the same way (by kidnapping their friends) and then permanently modifies their body against their will. Despite his proclaimed desire to have the Deputy atone, John also expresses desire to see the Deputy dead on occasion, such as after they destroy his sign.

While it might be easier for the player to sympathize with John due to his backstory and dynamic with Joseph, from the Deputy’s in-universe perspective, his instability represents a very real, tangible threat not only to them, but to the people of Hope County as a whole. At every turn, John has either imposed his will onto the Deputy by removing opportunities for agency and/or harming others. The Deputy owes John nothing. Any "choice" he gives of saying "Yes" is undermined by the massive amount of strings attached. It is difficult to envision a reason why the Deputy would decide to give into John’s philosophy, aside from faking it in order to protect their allies. This is a failing on John's part, not the Deputy.

Like John, Faith also expresses a desire for the Deputy to give in to Eden's Gate. But unlike John, she initially appears to the Deputy in a more pacifistic, less confrontational way. Despite this, the Deputy is still able to see her darker side due to her views on the Angels and fate of the unfortunate souls who walk the path whipping themselves and take a literal leap off of the statue of Joseph. Furthermore, she overrides the Deputy’s agency through the use of Bliss, which drastically warps one’s perception of reality. The Bliss that she now controls makes the horrific creation of Angels possible, and this Bliss is also used during baptisms, which muddles the issue of personal agency and consent to John’s process in addition to her own conversion process. The dangers of the Bliss and how it affects one’s thought process become highlighted in the Henbane region, and letters, voicemails, and NPC chatter show that Faith is not one to be trifled with. This comes to a head when Faith brainwashes the Sheriff and manipulates the Marshall into killing Virgil before killing himself. While it’s easy to have sympathy for Faith and her experiences, from the Deputy’s perspective, Faith is still a potential danger, which is why they step back when she leaned toward them during her death scene.

Jacob too removes the Deputy’s personal agency by literally brainwashing them and turning them into a tool that he can command, which eventually results in the Deputy being forced to kill a friend. He forced captives into competing against each other in life or death trials. He keeps the Deputy in a cage with a dead body and feeds them “mystery meat” after seven days of starving them while telling them a story about how he cannibalized his friend. The Judges are his brainchild that he sends to attack and kill others. Like John, Jacob also kidnapped and tortured a fellow police officer, to the point where they act like a slave to Jacob’s whims. Jacob has not done anything other than convincing the Deputy that he is a threat.

It is not the Deputy's job to fix the Seeds' personal issues--it's their job to protect Hope County. Throughout their journey, the Deputy sees various atrocities being committed, both to strangers and to themselves and the people they care about. There is zero reason for the Deputy to genuinely give in to the Seeds and join Eden's Gate, considering the horrible way they were treated and how they saw others being treated.

Joseph and the Voice

The Deputy’s presence did not *force* Eden’s Gate to start the Reaping. *Joseph* was the one to initiate it as a reaction to the Deputy’s presence, and all of Eden’s Gate followed him lockstep. When given the opportunity to finally confront and arrest the man responsible or walk away, it almost feels laughable that it’s even a choice at this point.

As leader of Eden’s Gate, Joseph oversees all parts of the Project. The buck stops with him. If he had any issues with Faith’s Angels, or Jacob’s trials, or John’s torture, he could have and would have said something--such as when he intervenes during the baptism--but he doesn’t. Because it furthers the goal of the Project, he doesn’t see any issue with these actions and feels they are justified.

Joseph’s vision of the Collapse coming true doesn’t mean that his actions throughout the game have greater inherent morality than the Deputy. It just means that he’s right about the Collapse. Regarding the Reaping, I do not believe that Joseph was motivated by a sense of cruelty, but that doesn’t change how many of the actions he participated in and oversaw *were* cruel. In real life, we see various examples of some people (not just in religious institutions, but in positions of authority in general) who commit harmful acts for the sake of a perceived “greater good.” And many of those people genuinely believe in what they are doing, believe they are in the right. But that doesn’t mean they actually are.

Which brings us to the elephant in the room: the Voice. If the Voice of God supports Joseph, then surely the deputy is automatically the “bad guy” for opposing him, right?

Wrong.

First, we have to be willing to admit that we know next to nothing about the Voice. The only things we know about it is what is conveyed to us by Joseph. We do not know the exact wording of what the Voice says, the level of detail it gives him regarding expectations (if any), or even what it is. Is it the voice of God? Satan? A real angel? Some kind of eldritch entity from another dimension? How accurate is Joseph's reiteration or interpretation? Sometimes it seems to directly tell Joseph things (hence the title, “the Voice”), other times it shows him visions. Clearly, there is some kind of supernatural component, as it allows Joseph to see the future, but since we don’t know much about it specifically, we can’t automatically assume or attribute inherent benevolence or morality to it.

Second, it’s entirely possible for a genuine prophet of God (assuming the Voice does indeed belong to a benevolent creator), or those who have/had God’s favor, to engage in morally questionable behavior, both in the eyes of God and/or in the eyes of 21st century readers. While the Project at Eden’s Gate is its own distinct religion, it takes most of its cues from Christianity, both in terms of practices and beliefs. In the Bible, King David had a man murdered so he could sleep with that man’s wife. Jonah wanted the entire population of a city to be killed off instead of having them repent. Jacob (the Biblical figure) deceives his father into giving him a birthright that belonged to his brother, and shows blatant favoritism to one son which ends up causing a lot of internal strife within the family. It’s fully within the realm of possibility that Joseph’s actions are not meant to be endorsed, either by the Voice itself or by the narrative in a broader sense.

In New Dawn, Joseph alludes to his own personal failings by saying, “My soul has become a cancer. I am a monster. I only spread suffering and death in the name of God.” The death of his son and the destruction of New Eden act as a moment of awakening for Joseph, as he finally realizes the harsh reality of his actions and how they affect others. He then expresses a desire for death and says, “There is only the justice of God’s hand.” The implication of “justice” being done indicates that the Voice (“God”) would not be happy with some of the actions that Joseph did. So while Joseph’s actions in FC5 were done with the intent of serving the Voice, his execution of these ideas was something that Joseph feels God would not like, as his actions spread death and suffering.

And thirdly, we have to remember that the Deputy and the player are viewing the idea of morality from the perspective of a 21st century human. Let’s say that, hypothetically, the Voice specifically instructed and condoned the erasure of free will/murders/kidnappings/etc. for whatever reason, and by enacting them, Joseph and Eden’s Gate were “just following orders.” Does this absolve Joseph and Eden's Gate of responsibility? No. Willing participation in the crimes committed, even if it wasn’t “their idea,” can still have legal consequences and can still be viewed as “bad” from a moral perspective because of the results of those actions.

The Collapse

It has been discussed elsewhere (on this site and in outside articles/discussions about the game) that the actions of the deputy correspond with the role of the Lamb in Revelations, and by breaking the seals, the Deputy’s actions supernaturally trigger the Collapse. This interpretation is fairly popular, and is one I personally support. However, I do not feel as though this interpretation lessens the morality of the Deputy's actions. Their decision to fight the Seeds is still the right one, regardless of whether or not their actions resulted in some kind of cosmic game of dominos.

First off, when the Deputy is attempting to take down the Seeds and protect the people of Hope County, they are not doing this with the intent of playing a role in a cosmic prophecy that will result in the death of millions. They’re looking at the situation from a human perspective, and acting accordingly and sensibly. The Seeds, on the other hand, were willingly harming innocents both before and during the Reaping.

Second, if there's a need to assign blame to a human for starting the Collapse (and I personally don't think there needs to be), it would be the Seeds, not the Deputy. The Sheriff and the deputies wouldn’t have arrived with the arrest warrant if the Seeds were not kidnapping and doing other illegal actions.

And thirdly, if one does attribute blame of the Collapse to the Deputy, then one also must attribute the birth of the new world to them as well. Following along with the idea that the events of FC5 are a fulfillment of Revelations, then the Collapse is ultimately viewed as a Good Thing within in the context of the Book of Revelations, even if the player might not personally share the sentiment. The Book of Revelations describes how the new world that is supposed to emerge from the ashes of the old is meant to be much better than the one before. And if we look at the world of New Dawn--and I’m going to copy and paste something I wrote previously here---Nature is allowed to flourish, people work together and support each other in a tight community, all the social ills mentioned in the Book of Joseph (and by the characters in-game) no longer exist. The only “snakes in the garden” would be the Highwaymen, and they are abolished by the Captain, who Joseph prophesizes to be some kind of Messiah-like figure. The final scene of New Dawn is one of hope, where the characters talk about building a better future. The way Joseph and Ethan’s storyline ends also connects to the whole idea of breaking away from the past and moving forward. If one believes that the Deputy is responsible for the Collapse, then this new world shown in New Dawn and the context of Revelations complicates the idea of viewing the Deputy's actions as being inherently bad.

Some might also argue that the Deputy has responsibility for not taking Joseph's warnings more seriously. Why though? Why should the Deputy attribute more credibility to Joseph's claims than, say, those of Marshall Applewhite or David Koresh? As players who know the ending, it’s easy for us to say that the Deputy should have listened to Joseph's warning about the Collapse, but there’s no in-universe rationale for the Deputy to do so. Issues of belief aside, Eden’s Gate’s actions alone are enough to paint an extremely negative picture of the group and would be enough to make any regular person not want to associate with them.

Under the framework of the Revelations prophecy being the intended interpretation of the game events though, I personally don't feel that any character "deserves" blame for the Collapse happening, not even the Seeds. I blame the Seeds for what they do to people within the game and before the events of FC5. And my perception of the Deputy is based on what we see in the game as well. But again, the Revelations prophecy idea is simply one way to view the game. Regardless of whether or not this interpretation is the correct one, the deputy still has the moral high ground in their fight against the Seeds.

Conclusion

Joseph being right about the Collapse does not mean that his (and by extension, Eden’s Gate’s) actions during FC5 were justified, and the Deputy should not be blamed for fighting against them. Just as the Deputy made a choice to arrest Joseph, Joseph made the choice to react in the worst way possible with the Reaping. Eden’s Gate were the aggressors who were kidnapping, torturing, and murdering people throughout the county. The Deputy fights against Eden’s Gate as a direct result of *Eden's Gate's* actions. The Deputy deserves no blame or guilt for killing the Seeds and destroying their bases of operations, as they reacted in a logical way based on the quality of information they had at the time.

In New Dawn, the Deputy expresses an extreme amount of guilt, which transforms them into the Judge. This guilt is misplaced and should be attributed to the other resident of the bunker, which is something Joseph himself even alludes to during his final speech in New Dawn when he criticizes his own actions. If Eden’s Gate did not start attacking the people of Hope County, the bunkers would still be standing, and the Seeds and many other cultists would still be alive. But they did, so they’re not.

While I adore all four of the Seeds as characters and have varying degrees of sympathy for them, they are firmly villains within the context of the story due to their actions. The deputy is not a bad guy for trying to stop them. The fact the Seeds sided with a guy who kidnapped and starved a family, then fed the parents' flesh to their children while playing “this little piggy” with the parents’ toes, and then murdered said parents in front of their children should speak for itself.

TL;DR: The deputy’s decision to confront Joseph instead of walking away was the right one.

[wellhalesbells]

✨✨ TOP FIVES FOR 2020 ✨✨

2020 was, i think we can all agree, a massively chaotic year but i have never consumed as much media before in my life, so i thought others might benefit from my slothery uh, connoisseur.... ship?  yes, that.  below are the books, comics, shows, and movies that got me through!

B O O K S .

the starless sea, by erin morgenstern - i loooove this book because it loves me back.  it says: ‘oh, you’re a reader, well i have just the thing for you.’  it luxuriates in language and story and riddles and fairy tales and it feels like an entire library in a single tome.

they never learn, by layne fargo - oh fuuuuuck, this was satisfying.  i thought it might feel a little exploitative as it is very aware of the zeitgeist and likely would not exist without the #metoo movement but it never ever did.  this was a fucking ROMP, period.  reading about a woman getting away with murdering skeezy guy after rapey guy after shitty human just made me happier and happier.

moonflower murders, by anthony horowitz - this is the second in the susan ryeland series (and the first was hardcore good fun too) and really feels very classic mystery with the artful twist of catering to the literary community.  mainly because: susan isn’t a detective, she’s an editor and she gets drafted in this time because the clue to what happened to a missing woman is in a book she edited, if she can find it.  both of the books in this series have such an excellent coming together moment that is rare af to find.

the invisible life of addie larue, by v.e. schwab - the writing in this is just so good.  it has that feel to me where i just want to drop the book and open up my own page and let my fingers fly.  it’s that inspiring kind of writing that reminds you of all the things language can do.

crown of feathers/heart of flames, by nicki pau preto - aaahhh, this series is SO FREAKING GOOD!  why is there not more of a fandom for it, why???? it is so many of my favorite tropes all resting perfectly together to the point where you almost forget they’re tropes because they just so naturally evolved there.  ugh, it’s just.... it’s so heart-bursty good.

.... number 5, part 2?  raybearer, by jordan ifueko - this was just so original and i was invested af.  like, what a brilliant idea though and an even better execution??  i loved every character and am so looking forward to the next in the series so i can get to know them even better!!

honorable mentions (sh*t i still liked a whole heckuva lot): you/hidden bodies, by caroline kepnes // writers & lovers, by lily king // i’ll be gone in the dark, by michelle mcnamara // the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home, by joseph fink & jeffrey cranor // girl, serpent, thorn, by melissa bashardoust // a little life, by hanya yanagihara // the guinevere deception, by kiersten white // obsidio (and the entire illuminae series), by amie kaufman & jay kristoff // the bone houses, by emily lloyd-jones // house of salt and sorrows, by erin a. craig // we hunt the flame, by hafsah faizal // savage legion, by matt wallace // blacktop wasteland, by s.a. cosby // crier’s war, by nina varela // the empress of salt and fortune/when the tiger came down the mountain, by nghi vo // upright women wanted, by sarah gailey // the monster of elendhaven, by jennifer giesbrecht // a deadly education, by naomi novik // you let me in, by camilla bruce // when you ask me where i’m going, by jasmin kaur // the lights go out in lychford/last stand in lychford (and the entire lychford series), by paul cornell // the devil and the dark water, by stuart turton // serpent & dove, by shelby mahurin // one by one, by ruth ware // ruthless gods (this was SUCH an upshot from the first book - it’s worth sticking with if you’re on the fence), by emily a. duncan // cemetery boys, by aiden thomas // the inheritance games, by jennifer lynn barnes // the fortunate ones (2021 release), by ed tarkington

C O M I C S .

cosmoknights, by hannah templer - the art was gorgeous, the gayness was glorious, and just.... hot HOOOOOOOOT lady knights in space?!  a princess winning her own hand?  find something not to love in there, i dare you.

don’t go without me, by rosemary valero-o’connell - wow. wow wow wow wow wow.  the writing was stunning, so lyrical and atmospheric and deep, and rosemary has to be one of my favorite artists but even that managed to come as a beautiful surprise because it was just so freaking bold.

through the woods, by emily carroll - i loooove emily carroll, the convergence of spine-tingling horror and art that feeds into it, that is both visually and aesthetically pleasing, is hard to beat!  p.s. i also read beneath the dead oak tree from her this year and it was also a BANGER.

the impending blindness of billie scott, by zoe thorogood - zoe is someone that i just want to follow.  she’s just starting and i want to be there for every single step.  i love her art style and her ability to tell a story with it.

above the clouds, by melissa pagluica - this was so unique, and such a baller concept, as nearly half the entire book is conveyed only through the art and yet you’re never once lost, never once confused as to what any character is thinking or feeling.  it’s a story within a story and only one of those gets words though they both are chock full of emotion!

um.... number 5, part 2? crowded, by christopher sebela - everything about this series is fun af.  crowd-funded assassination and a hirable bodyguard who’s rated like an uber driver???  and the chemistry between the two mains is so great and gay!!

honorable mentions: monster and the beast, by renji // long exposure, by kam ‘mars’ heyward // fence, by c.s. pacat // invisible kingdom, by g. willow wilson // ms. marvel, by g. willow wilson // heathen, by natasha alterici // not drunk enough, by tess stone // giant days, by john allison // die, by kieron gillen // be prepared, by vera brosgol // ascender (sequel to descender, which is also great), by jeff lemire // the unbeatable squirrel girl, by ryan north // bang! bang! boom!, by melanie schoen // gideon falls, by jeff lemire // life of melody, by mari costa // cry wolf girl, by ariel slamet ries // the tea dragon society, by katie o’neill // ptsd, by guillaume singelin // heartstopper, by alice oseman // solutions and other problems, by allie brosh // finding home, by hari conner // the magic fish, by trung le nguyen // something is killing the children, by james tynion iv // the weight of them, by noelle stevenson // spill zone, by scott westerfeld // skyward, by joe henderson // miles morales, by saladin ahmed

F I L M S.

parasite, dir. bong joon ho - oh it was satisfying, oh it was suspenseful, oh i had to watch some of it through my fingers but i loooooooved it.  such a good story and so well made.

knives out, dir. rian johnson - okay, everything about this movie was amazing.  every single character was fun as hell and i could’ve watched an entire movie about each of them.  what a great fucking mystery!

blindspotting, dir. carlos lopez estrada -  this made my heart hurt so damn much.  what glorious writing, acting, and story!

portrait of a lady on fire, dir. celine sciamma - gooooorgeous cinematography, amazing chemistry, and such a soft, atmospheric film.

the farewell, dir. lulu wang - i cried and my heart felt so full and i love it so so much.

um.... number 5, part 2? someone great, dir. jennifer kaytin robinson - no part of me expected to love a netflix movie this much but it’s a love story that doesn’t get told that often??  the end of a relationship and the true love of friendship and i love these girls and i love jenny and nate’s broken relationship.

honorable mentions: eighth grade, dir. bo burnham // booksmart, dir. olivia wilde // midsommar, dir. ari aster // the curse of la llorona, dir. michael chaves // the secret life of pets 2, dirs. chris renaud & jonathan del val // jojo rabbit, dir. taika waititi // the invisible man, dir. leigh whannell // the favourite, dir. yorgos lanthimos // can you ever forgive me?, dir. marielle heller // troop zero, dirs. bert & bertie // ready or not, dirs. matt bettinelli-olpin & tyler gillett // brave, dirs. mark andrews & brenda chapman & steve purcell // the half of it, dir. alice wu // palm springs, dir. max barbakow // doctor sleep, dir. mike flanaghan // uncut gems, dirs. benny sadfie & josh sadfie // birds of prey, dir. cathy van // bloodshot, dir. dave wilson // the old guard, dir. gina prince-bythewood // enola holmes, dir. harry bradbeer // hocus pocus, dir. kenny ortega // always be my maybe, dir. nahnatchka khan // finding dory, dirs. andrew stanton & angus maclane // die hard, dir. john mctiernan

S H O W S .

black sails (2014) - this show, this shooooooooow.  i cannot, it just makes me want to cry with how good it is.  the characters, the EMOTIONS, the story, the plaaaaaan.  like, the creators clearly had a plan for every single step of this show and it was a gOOD, GOOD PLAN.

the untamed (2019) - truly, cheesy good fun with one of the best gay romances ever.  i love these characters and their relationships to each other and the way it glories in its own ridiculousness.

the righteous gemstones (2019) - one of the things that bothered me about my next choice (the ratio of female to male nudity) was so much more realistic in this one (i mean, we’ve all gotten five thousand dick pics and i know like three people?  so the fact that there is so rarely male nudity in shows when there are tits everywhere..... no, how does that even make a tiny bit of sense?).  this show was such great, wonderful, awful fun.  they’re not great people and the show is under no delusion about that and it’s GLORIOUS!

the witcher (2019) - this was just hella fun, i loved the characters and the fantasy elements.  i’m excited for the next season, it’s just entertaining swashbuckling through and through!

fargo (2014) - all of this was really very enjoyable with the through line being somebody fucks shit up and gets involved in something they really shouldn’t be involved in that’s going to swallow them whole.  season one and season three were my stand-out favorites but they were all so violent, clever, and vicious!

um.... number 5, part 2? central park (2020) - um..... so many of the hamilton actors in a muscial cartoon drawn and written by the bob’s burgers team? WHAT ABOUT THAT DOESN’T SOUND AMAZING?!  it was such a joy to hear daveed diggs and leslie odom jr.’s voices again!!

honorable mentions: schitt’s creek // the mandalorian // mr. robot // broadchurch // mindhunter // jack ryan // the good place // the end of the f***ing world // big little lies // elite // kidding // servant // letterkenny // curb your enthusiasm // i am not okay with this // ozark // buzzfeed unsolved: true crime/supernatural // you // runaways // dear white people // dickinson // brooklyn nine-nine // will & grace // 9-1-1 // dead to me // solar opposites // never have i ever // killing eve // what we do in the shadows // grace and frankie // avenue 5 // roswell, new mexico // the bold type // evil // tuca & bertie // impulse // the umbrella academy // watchmen // infinity train // corporate // search party // on becoming a god in central florida // a.p. bio // criminal: uk // the morning show // mythic quest // last week tonight // prodigal son // the great

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #22- If You Don’t Love Thunderclash, Get Better Soon I Guess

One last issue before we reach Comic Event Hell.

Time to use a dead man to set up the rest of the nonsense that’s got to happen, because apparently 14 issues of setup, including six issues of literal prelude, wasn’t enough.

The first bit of information we’re presented with is the fact that Chromedome and Swerve are on the opposite sides of the camera-shy scale. I guess that’s bound to happen when your spouse has had his video-cam literally connected to his brain for at least several thousand years.

The art may look really gritty and hardcore here, but this is actually due to a filter Rewind has over all his footage that he’s neglected to take off, because it made all the wartime propaganda he would stuff into people’s heads all the more brutal-looking.

No, this is the style of our artist for this issue, James Raiz, who we’ll be seeing a fair bit of over the next several issues. Raiz has worked on the Transformers franchise over the course of multiple license-holders, as well as contributed to both Marvel and DC comics. He also works in special effects, including matte painting and VFX. That’s just neat.

Anyway, the reason Swerve’s completely frozen in place isn’t because Rewind  switched out his head-mounted camera for a gun that goes off if it hears you make a self-deprecating joke, but rather because he’s conducting interviews with everyone in the main cast. We get all their introductions, Cyclonus makes a statement about his political stances, Drift sounds like he’s high as a kite, First Aid strikes a sassy pose while not being bitter in the slightest, and Ultra Magnus makes a move that would get him murdered on any given film set in the universe.

You do NOT use your bare fucking hand to clean a camera lens, mister. Go get a microfiber cloth and try the fuck again, you complete and utter duffel bag of a creature.

We get a quick cut of the speech Rodimus made back in issue #1, with an angle that implies that Rewind was in the front row of the front row, then cut over to Rodimus asking Rewind to document their Capital-Q Quest. This is where we establish that this film doesn’t only contain footage from Rewind’s personal camera, but also that of the Lost Light’s security system.

Which feels like the sort of access you maybe wouldn’t want to give some nosy little film buff, especially when you have a secret giant serial killing sadist living in your basement like a disappointing adult child.

See? He was given the job to record the adventures of the Lost Light not five minutes ago, and he’s already using his powers for evil. Eavesdropping evil. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, Rodimus, and you just handed it to the guy with a massive Dominus Ambus-shaped chip on his shoulder.

So Rewind’s got permission to film just about whatever he wants, and Rodimus figures it’ll be nonstop action from here to the finish line! Fights! Intrigue! Mild hijinks and peril! Explosions aplomb! Oh man, I can’t wait to see what kinds of crazy shit will happen on this absolute roller coaster of a Quest!

Smashcut to Swerve literally falling asleep in the middle of a conversation. Yeah, as it turns out, no quest, capital Q or not, is nonstop action. Which is good, honestly, because that kind of seems like it would be exhausting after the first week or so.

Swerve, Tailgate, and Rewind are discussing cool alt-modes, which seems like an odd topic, seeing as Tailgate and Swerve have basically the same situation going on there, leaving Rewind alone in the camp of “does not have wheels”.

I worry about you sometimes, Rewind. Internalized Functionism is a very real problem. Uh, well, in your universe anyway. Us humans have to deal with regular ol’ classism and racism.

Rung gets brought up, and it’s revealed that the wheel on his back is almost purely cosmetic; it doesn’t even actually attach to his body. The lads decide that they’ve got nothing better to do, and set up a gentlemen’s wager- first one to figure out Rung’s whole deal gets 100 space-dollars.

Throwing shit at people’s heads will be a major plot point in the climax of this comic series.

Swerve’s go at trying to win the bet involved tossing a grenade at Rung to hit him in the neural cluster, which is rumored to be able to force an involuntary mode change if done correctly. Obviously, it didn’t work this go around. Then our narrative focus switches over to the crew’s hobbies.

You were listening to Prince, weren’t you, Magnus? Not even deep space is safe from the Cease and Desist.

Skids’ hobby is meeting new people, because he suffers from the terrible curse of being so fucking good at everything he tries, he always ends up dropping whatever he picked up, because what’s the point? This acts as a segue into another flashback, to even MORE bullshit that the fellas got roped into on Hedonia.

These are the Stentarians. They’re like the Cybertronians, if they were better in every way.

And by “better”, I, of course, mean “more bloodthirsty, warmongering, and driven enough to make their civil war last about as long as the Jurassic Period”. Also, they’re all combiners by default, and Whirl seems a little TOO into their whole situation. So much so, in fact, that when the Imperial Guard of their race show up to kill them, he decides to do them a solid by single-handedly ending their entire war.

You know, in most cases you’re supposed to show and not tell for visual media. This is way funnier, though, so it can be excused.

We jump back into the interviews, and Rewind’s just asked everyone if they’re happy. This might seem like an odd question, until you remember that everyone on-board this ship has crippling depression and PTSD, and Rewind’s married to one of the saddest motherfuckers to ever exist, so he probably has this question loaded into the proverbial chamber at any given moment. We won’t cover all of the answers here, because they’ll be more poignant to reflect back on later in the comic run, but let’s take a gander at the characters who’ve completed the first leg of their character arcs this season.

Drift, is that perhaps… an honest expression of your inner thought processes happening right there? Has Rewind broken through your carefully crafted persona, if even for just a moment, with his question? Perish the thought!

Because Tailgate outed himself as being baby in issue #21, I have zero doubt he’s not exaggerating here. He was a janitor, then he fell in a hole and became Dirt-Nap Supreme for six million years; even the most boring day on the Lost Light’s got to be better than that.

And it’s nice to see Chromedome on a good day for once. Hopefully he reveled in it while he had the chance, because this interview takes place maybe a couple weeks before he fucks everything up big time and has to blow up his husband with a missile strike.

Getting back to the Mystery of the Rungian Alt-Mode plotline, we see Rung using his backpack as a wheelbarrow- no idea what he’s actually pushing in the damned thing- and wearing the most disgruntled face I’ve seen him pull in a hot minute. Someone yells for him to come down the eerily unlit and sinister-looking hallway, which he does. Rung would not do well in a horror film.

He winds up at Swerve’s, where Tailgate, Swerve, Brainstorm, and someone who is most likely Trailcutter, given the colors, are hanging out in their alt-modes. Tailgate’s ploy to find out Rung’s deal is to do what he does best- lie! They’re having an alt-mode party, and wouldn’t Rung like to join in? There are, of course, logistical issues with being a car in a bar, especially when your drink is on the table and your head is tucked up somewhere in your torso, but never mind all that! Let’s get crazy!

This doesn’t work either. Maybe we should cut out the middle man here and just get Rung drunk enough to agree to a wet alt-mode contest.

No, I don’t have any idea how that would work.

In our next vignette, Rodimus comes into the comms room, Rewind trailing behind him like a grim shadow of death, to see what the hell Blaster wants, other than just the hugest glass of water.

Raiz’s work is very detailed, and you really feel the weight of these giant metal space robots, but everyone looks like they’ve been put through a food dehydrator.

We get a lot of build up to the character who’s about to be introduced, with a common opinion being shared amongst everyone- even Tailgate, who hates successful people like his life depends on it.

Lovely readers, put your hands together for the ideal male partner for Autobots, Decepticons, and Neutrals alike:

A man with so much charisma and charm that only Rodimus could hate him, Thuderclash brings to IDW what everyone wishes Optimus Prime would, making our disappointing space dad even more mediocre by comparison. He fights for justice, and freedom, and the good of the universe- and he does it all while having a chronic medical condition that forces him to stay within a certain distance of his ship that is also a life-support machine, otherwise he will die. Despite his handicaps, Thunderclash seemingly brings to others what they need most, even if they don’t even realize that they needed it in the first place.

He also, in this one scene, appeals to Drift’s religious sensibilities, does a secret best-friend dance with Ratchet (who he helped to pass his medical exams- yes, Ratchet), and congratulates Rodimus on his questing so far.

Thunderclash is one of those characters that everyone in-universe is supposed to love, and I completely buy it- because he’s completely genuine and humble about all of this the entire time.

Compare this to the last time Roberts wrote Thunderclash, in Eugenesis.

Where he was an ex-Decepticon.

And kind of an abrasive asshole.

And then he died.

Y’know, now that I think of it, Eugenesis Thunderclash and MTMTE Ambulon being basically the same character makes a whole lot of sense, even without the horrors of Roberts’ Twitter getting involved.

Thunderclash reveals that he, too, is on a quest to find the Knights of Cybertron, much to Rodimus’ chagrin. But first he needs the Lost Light to break out the jumper cables, and then for his second in command to stop threatening his life.

Turns out, not everyone is as obvious as the Cybertronians with their naming conventions. Whirl assassinated the wrong folks; I’m sure the Galactic Council is utterly thrilled. Paddox wants to steal the quantum engine technology for the good of his people, so they can kick the ass of the up-and-coming Terradore leader.

Completely unaware of the situation unfolding here in the lab, Swerve is directing Rung towards the warm, loving aura of Thunderclash for another go at winning the gentlemen’s wager- through the power of lying about having friends, Swerve’s “agreed” to get Rung Thunderclash’s autograph, in exchange for getting to check that Rung’s transformation cog is still working. Then they bump into the nightmare currently unfolding. My, whoever will save us from this dreaded menace, who holds a gun to the head of the Autobots’ greatest warrior, confidant, friend, and perhaps even lover?

How about a bartender and a giant vape pen?

Okay, so Rung doesn’t actually turn into a vape. It turns out that the Mystery of the Rungian Alt-Mode is also a mystery to the man himself. Because Rung is old as shit, the Functionists got to see this bullshit for themselves, and ended up testing him over and over and over trying to figure it out, lest he prove to be a flaw in their fascist ideologies. Fun fact: fascists HATE it when people they’re trying to oppress don’t play to their expectations.

The Functionists were the ones who gave Rung his little wheelie backpack, to make him at least appear useful. This sort of treatment tends to warp one’s head a bit, which would explain why he’s bothered to keep it for so long- internalized functionism’s a real bitch.

At least he’s not giving teenagers nicotine addictions under the guise of being somewhat better than cigarettes.

Back with Rodimus and Cybertron’s Autobot of the Year for 40,000 consecutive years, we get the unfortunate news that jump-starting Thunderclash’s ship is going to make the Quest go a bit slower for the Lost Light, much to Rodimus’ horror, though he does his best to put on a brave face; after all, that’s what heroes do, isn’t it?

It’s at this point that it’s revealed that “Little Victories” was being screened to all the Circle of Light members who didn’t get murdered or turned into Legislators on Luna 1, and man are these guys pissy. What was meant to be a recruitment video turned out to do just the opposite, because none of these guys want anything to do with what the Lost Light’s got going on.

Too bad Rewind didn’t have time for a cleaner cut for showing. Maybe they could have at least snagged a couple of these guys to tag along.

As all of the Circle of Light leave the theatre to go call everyone’s favorite Autobot to see if he needs a more crew members, the film plays on behind Skids, back to the interviews, as everyone promises more adventures just waiting on the horizon.

You’re not even on this trip anymore, you dork.

Chromedome gives us the title drop for the movie and issue, and we cut to Rewind organizing a group photo of all the interviewees.

And then Rewind died horribly like a week later. Thus ends season one of More Than Meets the Eye!

While I’m here, I’d like to take the time to cover a little bit of cut content from this issue, a scene between Drift and Ratchet.

Drift, during his interview, recalls the time that Ratchet called him into his office for a very serious discussion about his/Pharma’s hands.

Yeah, turns out they’re haunted.

Well, no, not really, because this is a prank. But Drift doesn’t know that yet.

Ratchet demonstrates this hand-haunting by punching Drift in the face, as he screams damnation at Pharma’s ghost. Drift, because he is a spiritual man, knows exactly what to do to deal with this possession; he draws his sword and chops Ratchet’s hands off, then throws them out the airlock.

This, too, is a prank, not that Ratchet knows it right away, yelling at Drift that he’s crippled him.

Clearly, these two belong together.

This bit of cut script was lucky enough to have gotten drawn by the colorist for MTMTE Season 1, Josh Burcham. Burcham’s line art is iconic- you won’t mistake him for anyone else. It’s rough and angular, and honestly just very charming. I’m a sucker for this sort of style. If you want to see his adaptation of this chunk of script- and trust me, you do- the link’s right here:

https://dcjosh.tumblr.com/post/107665292031/its-done-the-mtmte-22-deleted-scene-in-all-its

[seyaryminamoto]

What would you have thought if the Kumurikage from the Avatar comics were real, and not a hoax? And that it really was the spirits that kidnapped the kids. And that the kidnappings were the spirits way of “restoring balance to the world” by making the fire nation pay for their crimes. And that Aang(and possibly Azula) must figure out a way to stop the kidnappings and figure out how to applease the spirits.

Well, damn, Anon... you see, I generally just don’t like the overuse of spiritual beings that a lot of post-canon ATLA content has relied on. Spirits, as LOK Book 2 proved, have to be handled in a very thoughtful way and canon doesn’t often do that, at least not in the comics and in LOK. ATLA Books 1 and 2 did it really well because spirits felt utterly unpredictable, from the most inoffensive ones to the most dangerous ones. You absolutely could feel that there was something otherworldly to how they behaved, to how they saw the world... whereas I never had that same feeling when I read Yang’s comics (nor with LOK Book 2). Whether because the spirits had some remarkably simple, even human-like motivations, or because they were easily roped into service of a human just because the plot demanded it (Unalaq... just, Unalaq...), it just felt off, and the Kemurikage might feel off similarly if they’re not handled properly.

I guess the thing is... even just the concept of spirits stealing kids to make the Fire Nation pay for their crimes sounds like they’d be too concerned with human reality? And I’m not sure that’d really suit spirits, at least, not the way I like to see them...

To break down what I mean: Hei Bai gets angry that the forest was burned down, and goes on a rampage that affects humans all around. Hei Bai saw no difference, fundamentally, between the humans who destroyed and the humans who didn’t... until Aang showed him the forest could be regrown. Hei Bai wasn’t attacking the village because he blamed the villagers... he was attacking in retaliation for the forest burning, an emotional, volatile reaction that only stopped when his problem was, more or less, resolved. It was irrational entirely, and highly dangerous because there was no telling just what the spirit was doing or if his actions would do a lot of harm to innocent people.

Secondly, Koh: what does Koh obtain from stealing faces? I mean, sure, he has a collection of faces, but they serve no particular purpose, do they? If he just wants to kill for the thrill of it, he doesn’t need to steal anyone’s face for it. Yet... stealing faces is what he does. That’s his power. It’s cruel, it’s creepy, it’s the subject of horror films, really xD and part of what makes it terrifying is that in the case of Koh, there’s NO REASON, no stated logic to it, he just does it because he has that power and finds amusement in destroying lives the way he does. Koh steals from animals, from humans, from spirits, from whatever he wants... just because he can. It’s not all that different from the reasoning of the Fire Nation, attacking and destroying just because they can: in fact, the Fire Nation has more ideological basis for what they do, more reasons behind which to make excuses for the destruction they’ve waged, than Koh does. Neither, of course, is justified, but Koh is notoriously unnatural because... this is just what Koh IS. A face-stealer. He gives zero shits about hurting anyone, probably even finds amusement in it... this guy is one nasty piece of work, and he’s a spirit. Which tells you... spirits aren’t simply pure and good beings. There’s some like Koh who are DEADLY. That he has no sob story (in the show) only makes him extra daunting and effective.

Thirdly... Wan Shi Tong. This guy is probably the most straightforward of all, and precisely because of that, he’s really interesting and I despise how he was written in LOK :’D but in ATLA, Wan Shi Tong outright says one of the most poignant lines of the show when he tells Team Avatar that they’re not the only ones who think their war is justified. It’s not an excuse of the Fire Nation, obviously not: but it’s criticism of war as a whole, of human violence perpetrated for whatever their reasons may be. Wan Shi Tong doesn’t give a flying fuck about their reasons, Fire Nation or not: he only cares about his library and knowledge. If these people put his library and its contents at risk over a war he must consider pathetic...? He’s not going to take it lying down. Like Hei Bai, who prioritizes his forest, Wan Shi Tong prioritizes his library and acquiring knowledge: anything that threatens his potential acquisition and preservation of knowledge is the ultimate offense against this creature. If humans are going to bring their violence into his library, he’ll be violent right back to protect his knowledge. And he’ll also isolate himself by sinking his library as deep as he wishes because... why wouldn’t he? xD if he wants to keep humans away, there’s no better way to do so than to keep his library to himself.

These three examples show there’s an inhumane simplicity to these spirits: they’re absolutely bound to be violent for their own reasons, when what they prize most is in danger, for instance. There’s also those who are dangerous just because they can, like Koh: then there’s others who are good and helpful to humans, like Tui and La (then you even have La as an example: when Tui is killed, La goes on a rampage against the killer, taking advantage of Aang’s spiritual power to do so, but La absolutely targets the enemy, La doesn’t murder the Water Tribe people willy-nilly), or even the lion-turtles. Basically? You never know what you get with spirits, and that’s the part that was really interesting about them in ATLA. The lion-turtles do feel a little more convenient and helpful because the whole role of the creature was to bestow power upon Aang just because... but there’s a shroud of mystery around it that still works, you know? No one knows where the lion-turtle took Aang, how it entranced him, why it showed up right then and there... it’s still mysterious enough that it works, as far as I can tell.

Meanwhile, LOK simplified matters so much... even featuring Wan Shi Tong somehow striking an alliance with Unalaq and being supportive of Vaatu? Why would he give a flying fuck about Unalaq and Vaatu? Why would he help them kidnap Jinora? What does that have to do with Wan Shi Tong’s long-established priority: knowledge? Instead, they featured him saying that Unalaq “was a good friend to the spirits”. Like... like the spirits are nationalistic or something? Why would it matter one bit to Wan Shi Tong if Unalaq wants Vaatu’s kite? :’D and that’s exactly what I’m referring to when I say that I dislike spirits serving human purposes: it steals from the otherworldly, starkly non-human behavior of these entities, and renders them as simple plot devices rather than actual characters.

As for Yang... I hate the Mother of Faces. Her design is interesting, but not only is she profoundly inconsistent, she destroyed part of what made Koh so intriguing by establishing a completely confusing concept of spirit motherhood and by playing it as though Koh steals faces “to feel closer to his mommy”. Why... why would you do this. Why would anyone feel the need to do this. Why would they need any connection in the first place. Why would that connection have anything to do with the Mother of Faces turning into a lamp genie and handing out wishes left and right, when she had already established she only granted ONE WISH per human encounter... *siiiiiiiiiigh* it feels so wrong to me, and it again makes spirits so unnecessarily human. Why. Just... why.

Thus, I wouldn’t want the Kemurikage to be real if they would only turn out... like that. Stealing Fire Nation children in some sort of vindictive spree to punish the Fire Nation when the war is FINALLY over...? It sounds a little weird. With the storyline established by the comic itself (though I’d honestly never hold that too close to heart, I really disliked that so-called origin of the Fire Nation...), these spirits came to be because a warlord stole all their children and they were taking revenge for that. That, at least, still sounds in-line with the logic that spirits have a specific purpose in mind, right? So... if no one’s stealing children, they probably shouldn’t show up to steal them themselves spontaneously. If they were concerned with the war and the Fire Nation’s lack of balance, they could’ve punished the Fire Nation back when Sozin was in power since that’s when it all began. Why punish it when Zuko shows up and ends the war?

In the end... I’d say if there’s no clear means to keep the spirits in question as otherworldly and non-human as possible, I don’t want stories with spirits. I think, for a story where spirits force Aang to work with Azula somehow to protect the Fire Nation, we’d need a wholly different concept, and not the Kemurikage. Just to use a quick and REALLY SOLID example from Inuyasha... there’s a spirit there from a one-time episode that plays a flute to guide the souls of dead children whether to heaven or hell. Its eyes are closed when everything’s going well, but if a child resists, the eyes start to open and if they open fully... it means the kid’s going to hell. Dark, ey? It’s a single episode and yet it nearly made me cry xD but the point of the comparison is... this spirit has a duty, of a sort. It’s not “stealing” children, it’s herding them off to the next life. What happens in the episode is that one particular soul of a very bitter and frustrated little girl refuses to heed the soul piper’s call because she’s taking “revenge” on her brother, whom she blames for her death (along with her mother): the girl’s defiance results in the spirit nearly dragging her to hell, and the protagonist has to do everything she can to rescue the girl’s spirit and in the end, the girl’s realization that she’d misunderstood her mother and brother, who of course never wanted her dead, makes her change her mind about them and the spirit gives her a second chance when it senses she’s changed indeed. There’s no morality to the duty of the piper, not really: if the child’s a rotten apple, it goes to hell. Unless the child proves NOT to be a rotten apple, as the girl did last minute, there’s no changing the spirit’s mind. If the child’s a good kid, the spirit will just herd the child off and nothing bad happens.

How to apply a story like this to ATLA? Well, it’s obviously hard to say xD but my point is... if any other spirits would show up in future stories, if there’s going to be any more of them doing... anything? It should be along the likes of Books 1 and 2, or like this soul piper. A spirit with its own concerns, with its own duties, who either coexists with humans peacefully or exists completely apart from them until whatever they care about is threatened... but not a spirit that goes on a furious rampage against humans because the crush who friendzoned him died and he assumes humans killed her. Not a spirit who has an established behavior that she then sets aside immediatley just because. Not a spirit that has some sort of random stake on the state of the human world when that’s not their dwelling and they probably see little to no difference between warring nations. Hence... the Kemurikage as a concept probably would be best off left, in my opinion, as a matter of lore rather than anything that should be making a comeback in Zuko’s era. If some other spiritual entity causes trouble in the future, I’d rather it were written with a different set of beliefs and understanding of the world rather than making them excessively human... the way all of Yang’s spirits were. Just... defeats the purpose of making them spirits if they’re essentialy humans with fancy weird powers beyond bending.

... At any rate, I’m not saying there’s anything inherently wrong with taking this storytelling route... just that I, personally, don’t find the Kemurikage all that interesting as a concept, not as the spirits they’re supposed to be, not as villainous entities. If you, personally, want to write this, you’re 100% free to do so and to explore these sorts of storylines. Just... it’s not my cup of tea, and I doubt it ever will be.