#so whatever i give her a bunch of links and maybe ill save her

[muirneach]

LMFAO was just chilling with my mom and my brother walked in and started complaining to her about his transphobic coworkers which honestly was stupid af because…. SHES the transphobic coworker. but anyways we got into a whole fight about it but since it was me and my brother together it was honestly really funny and not painful because he did all the talking and i got to just laugh

[cienie-isengardu]

Not only do I not regret asking you to "RELEASE THE RAMBLES!", I'm sending you requests for more. Below is a list of questions that I asked @bihansthot , and enjoyed their answers, but because you are so thorough, and answer in such depth, I'm re-asking them to you.

Brace yourself, it's a list. I didnt have time to sort thru them, I just copied and pasted, so if any are questions you already answered before, please feel free to include the links.

"LET US BEGIN!"

---------------------------------------------

In the spirit of potential future writing,  I'm trying to find a building that  would make a good substitution for Lin Kuei temple.

I've tried looking up ancient Chinese military barracks/forts, and have found some stuff,  but is all exterior.  Anyone know of any locations (or several I can cobble together) that would make good inspiration fodder?

---------------------------------------------

So, uhm, religion? What's the Lin Kuei's take on that one? I know they are aware of Gods, they team up with/ encounter Raiden all the time,  and have literally worked for/against Shinook, so I know they recognize higher powers... but I  guess the question is,  do they care?

Do they have a religion,  or spiritual practice that resembles religion? Or do they have a more practical approach "gods exist,  but we just consider them very strong people"?

Which segues into... do they recognize and participate in holidays, or things like birthdays? Or are all their celebrations work related (I.E. successful missions or levels of combat mastery)?

---------------------------------------------

Food.  What foods do they normally eat? What foods do they like?  What foods don't they like? What foods do they absolutely love so much they'll stop what they're doing to get it?

---------------------------------------------

If you had to match the Lin Kuei with a dynasty,  what one would it be? (I know the 2021 movie has the opening in the Ming dynasty, so the Lin Kuei is at least that old,  but given that movie Bi Han hasn't aged in 400 years, and was taken is a child,  its probably much older) (and also know the game probably cherry picked random Chinese things it liked).

What do you think the Lin Kuei's view on artistic culture (probably not the right word) is? I know they are heavily militaristic,  but in the game,  Kuai Liang offers Hanzo tea and he properly prepares it the Japanese way, that says they have something of an education other than just related to fighting?

Lastly,  in the movie,  everything Bi Han does is "for the Lin Kuei", but the Lin Kuei is on Earth (assumedly),  and he is working for a guy who wants to enslave Earth, so what do you think the deal is?

---------------------------------------------

Question about the Cryomancers. I know the game lore says that they are supposed to be rare, but I also know that the Lin Kuei have had at least 5 (grandpa, papa, older, and younger Sub Zero,  and Frost). 4 of which are part of 3 generations that inherited it even with mixed blood (I'm assuming Mama Sub Zero wasn't Cryomancer since they left her alone).

That's a lot of generations in a row for a rare trait... So do you think the Cryomancers as a group have figured out they're being hunted and have chosen to live in hiding?

---------------------------------------------

Lin Kuei society question? I like writing so I also like world building and I think about these things.

Is Lin Kuei society ever covered? I know there is a Grandmaster, a handful master assassins (Sub Zero's, Sektor, Cyrax, etc) and the  movies always have a bunch canon fodder lesser assassins.

And they live in the very isolated Lin Kuei Palace/Temple in Arktika (or wherever it used to be)

But is Lin Kuei (we'll call it "village") ever covered?   Do they have willing servants, kidnapped slaves, or a mix of both? Are there women (non fighter women,  I know there's Frost) or do they employ strictly male help? If there are women, what's their role, and are there children born there? What about Elderly? What about resources,  is everything (from food, clothes, weapons, and the raw materials to create them) grown or manufactured on sight by skilled laborers or do they import/interact with the outside world? How vicious or civil is this society, could you be killed for looking at Sektor wrong or do they value your services to a degree? What's the degree? This is obviously a combat culture,  but is everyone expected to know martial arts of some variety, is it optional, or do they prohibit it among the servants/slaves? How strict are they on things like clothing, food, alcohol,  drugs, "luxuries", or pleasures? Money? If they interact with the world do they recognize and use $$ currency, commodity currency, or a mixture? Internally are the Lin Kuei payed or just provided for? What about illness or injury,  if you're not a master and it a serious injury/illness are you taken care of or do they just give you a quick death?

Etc. That's all the questions I can think of,  but please feel free to answer questions I didn't ask,  if you think of anything else.

Thank you for this wonderful list to talk about! I’m gonna split the answer into smaller parts, for better focusing on each aspect but also so I don’t feel bad for keeping you waiting for ages, lol. For now let’s focus on asks about the religion!

So good questions! I do think they have some spiritual practice(s) because in martial arts the state of a mind is as important as the physical body and religion is one of many ways to shape someone’s mindset from a young age. I do, however, think that Lin Kuei does not worship the gods. They are aware that the gods exist (with Raiden as the thorn in the side) and may even respect their supernatural powers and battle skills but it never has stopped Lin Kuei from desecrating holy places, murdering people and stealing stuff for the best price. So, it seems to me that whatever religion the members of the clan follow, by nature it is rooted in nontheism.

Of course, there is also a chance that Lin Kuei worships some forgotten deity or deities (as a remnant of their ancient connections with Outworld / realms conquered and destroyed by Shao Kahn?) or may even practice ancestor worship which seems like a good way to uphold a widely understood tradition that plays an important role in the discussed community.

The closest thing to religious practice was seen in Mortal Kombat X, when Sub-Zero and his warriors seemed to pray together before statue of god / deity / ancestor / legendary warrior / personalized thing they value the most (sadly, my knowledge about Asian religious practices or faiths is very limited so I don’t have idea if the statue is supposed to represent any real god/religious symbol).

At the same time, it could be just a bluff since Grandmaster was aware of Cage’s team infiltrating the Lin Kuei territory and used this moment to lure them into a trap. Additionally, Mortal Kombat X comics presented once Kuai Liang sitting before the same statue albeit in a completely different (devoid of reverence?) position.

Of course, if we take into account Mortal Kombat Armageddon, the game states that Lin Kuei Temple placed in Arctika was actually once the Temple of Delia (the great sorceress & wife of god Argus) that at some point get abandoned and re-used by Sub-Zero’s clan.

(In the background, we can see a statue of Delia that Lin Kuei does not worship but did not remove for whatever reason. Mixing both old and new games, we can only wonder if MKX!statue is also the remnant of someone else's faith/religion?)

Beside that, Kuai Liang was pretty vocal about Lin Kuei not worshipping the Elder Gods, what was seen in MK11’s intro dialogue with Cetrion

Sub-Zero: The Lin Kuei do not worship the Elder Gods.

Cetrion: We seek gratitude, not worship.

Sub-Zero: I see no distinction.

and personally did not have any reason to pray to the goddess:

Sub-Zero: Why should I pray to you?

Cetrion: Why does a bird flap its wings?

Sub-Zero: I asked a simple question.

In all fairness, in MK11 Kuai Liang seems the most passive-aggressive toward the Elder God while Frost is focused on her ambitions and Noob!Bi-Han just wants to be left alone when bothered by Cetrion. Similar thing happens toward Raiden. Despite gratitude for saving him, Kuai Liang does not spare the god criticism (can’t serve both Elder Gods and Earthrealm, isn’t fit for his role of protector) and in MKX outright says he does not fear divine beings:

Raiden: Sub-Zero...

Sub-Zero: I fear no gods, Raiden.

Raiden': That's why you shall lose.

Surprisingly, Kuai Liang’s interaction with MK11!Fujin sounds less accusing than with Raiden and Cetrion and it is connected closely to their ties with Bi-Han. And maybe Kuai Liang did seek in the past Fujin and other elements to make a peace with them, like he planned to do so in Mortal Kombat 4 Limited comics?

"I came here to make peace with the gods of the elements that you fought [...]"

Anyway, the accusingly behaviour toward Raiden and Cetrion could be just Kuai Liang’s personal dislike for gods and serious authority issues, which makes sense considering how much he suffered because of their meddling and conflicts.

But honestly?

The available examples of Lin Kuei attitude toward gods, demigods and supernatural beings suggest how little the warriors - especially cryomancers - care for them.

Like, we have Bi-Han in Mythologies, who asked Quan Chi about details of mission:

Sub-Zero: If it's so precious, why don't you get it yourself?

Quan Chi: I cannot enter the temple until the four elements within its walls have been defeated. And I am not on the best of terms with the gods of your realm... especially your god of thunder.

Sub-Zero: Tell me about these elements.

Quan Chi outright said he and earthrealm gods weren’t friends and Bi-Han, reading between the lines, could get the idea that he may end on bad terms with Thunder God. Yet he was interested only in elements (lesser gods than protector of realm?) guarding the temple.

Then Bi-Han beat down four demigods and met a displeased Raiden after Quan Chi got the Shinnok Amulet. His reaction? No fear, like meeting an angry god was a normal occurrence.

Rayden: Do you realize what you've done??

Sub-Zero: I was just earning my living.

Rayden: Your clan's ignorance and greed will cost this entire realm. You must now set things straight.

Sub-Zero: Quan Chi could simply be a lunatic sorcerer. I've never heard of an elder god named Shinnok or of a place called the Netherrealm.

Rayden: Well, you'd better start believing in both, because you're going to the Netherrealm and you're going to bring the amulet back. We must act quickly. I have no dominion in the Netherrealm... You are reality's only hope.

Sub-Zero: I'll do it, Thunder God... but only because I have no choice.

And once he came back from Netherrealm, where he was fixing what he messed up in the first place on Raiden’s order, his abrasive attitude did not change much:

Sub-Zero: Here... the amulet.

Rayden: Impressive, Sub-Zero. Perhaps you will reconcile your reckless past after all.

Sub-Zero: That's it? Not even a thank you?

Of course, to some degree Raiden’s words did have an impact on Bi-Han but even the god’s warning about his soul tainted with evil did not stop him from coming back to Lin Kuei. Bi-Han’s attitude and/or approach to gods seems to change somehow once he was reborn as Noob, but that is a different matter for different times.

Anyway, Mythologies!Bi-Han and MK11!Noob act less aggressive toward gods than Kuai Liang. But then we have Sub-Zero from from the MK novel by Jeff Rovin, who not only is not afraid of gods but outright insult them:

“Wait! Be warned, Shang Tsung. He is cursed!”

“Cursed? By whom?”

Ruthay wailed, “By the immortal Yu.”

Shang Tsung felt cold spiders crawl up his spine. “The demigod Yu?”

“Yes… he who is said to dwell in the underground caverns of Horse Ear Mountain… which is sacred to the goddess Kuan Lin. He who protects the canals… and the tunnels… and looks after all who use them, human and animal.”

“What did our brash friend do to Yu?”

“He… killed a man,” said Ruthay.

“What man?”

“A toll-taker… one who had given up a life of crime… one who had been a partner of the man… you… seek.”

“And how did that crime come to the attention of the spirit of Yu?” Shang Tsung asked.

“The man was killed… slowly disemboweled with a sword… while accomplices forced his wife and his son to look on! After his murder… the man’s remains… were dumped into a canal!”

Shang Tsung raised an eyebrow. “Is that all? I was expecting something truly terrible!”

“It was!” Ruthay shrieked. “When he disposed of the body… in that way … he profaned one of the sacred waterways… of Yu!”

Shang Tsung smiled now. “Then he is definitely the man I want,” he said. “Anyone who is impudent enough to insult a demigod won’t be afraid to attack a member of the White Lotus Society, or the gods who watch after them. I will send Hamachi, Ruthay. When he nears his goal, see through his eyes and guide him!”

Book!Sub-Zero was impudent enough to insult a demigod which is why he was one of Shang Tsung’s favorites. And to be clear - book!Sub-Zero did not regret insulting the demigod at all. Even more! He found humor in it!:

He dwelt in a cave two hundred feet up the face of a cliff by the sea. The mouth of his home was barely wide enough to accommodate a slender adult, and was accessible only by climbing the sheer wall of rock, a feat that was impossible for most adults and daunting even to the few arachnids and marsupials that tried it.

Maybe some of them were even sent by Yu, he thought with a smirk, little assassins who would chastise me for having spilled blood in his precious canal.

The less abrasive attitude toward gods was shown by Cyrax, who talked a bit with Raiden over Bi-Han’s remains. He wasn’t outright antagonistic but wasn’t overall respectful either. He talked with Thunder God like he would talk with any other human being that wasn’t actually Scorpion. Frankly, from the named Lin Kuei only MK9!Smoke actually addressed Raiden in respectful manner, with proper bow and the name of lord

albeit did he do so because he respects the divine beings or just out of gratitude for saving him, hard to tell for sure.

So yeah, it seems like no matter what kind of timeline or age or medium of the story, Lin Kuei does not fear gods nor pray to them. And the clan has a long history of dealing with Raiden, so the Lin Kuei had first-hand experiences with supernatural beings. Somehow, cryomancers are the most impudent warriors when it comes to dealing with or criticizing the gods.

Interestingly, as much as Lin Kuei warriors don’t care for gods, most of the known to us named characters believe to have - and to care - for their own souls. Sektor and MK11!Frost embraced the Cyber Lin Kuei idea but Kuai Liang, Cyrax and Smoke were opposed to C.I. project out for concern for their souls among other things. Even Bi-Han, to some degree became concerned about his soul after trip to Netherrealm.

Believing in souls is usually a sign of belief in the afterlife, albeit after all of them went through (the change into cyborgs, death and change into Revenants) this is less a matter of faith (religion) and more first-hand experiences. And let's not forget that regularly dealing over the centuries with Shang Tsung who steals people's souls on a daily basis makes it really hard to not believe spirits are real.

Also, an interesting matter of Lin Kuei practices that could have a religious/spiritual ground and/or be an example of ancestor worship is the clan’s funeral rites. I don’t think we actually saw any Lin Kuei to bury their own (especially after warrior’s failure?) and for sure MK9!Cyrax and Sektor did not bother to take care of Bi-Han’s remains. However the sources provide examples of Lin Kuei keeping corpses, most likely of their own leaders or warriors.

And so, we could see human remains:

put in two coffins on each side of statue

hidden / kept in a block of ice(?) in chamber of Fallen Lin Kuei in which Frost’s frozen body was also laid, but on the altar

Cyrax’s cyber body was kept and guarded by Sub-Zero (and this is like the only thing that Kuai Liang and Cyber Sektor so far agreed on)

and even Cyber Sektor’s remains, even if just for pragmatic reasons, are kept in what seems to be respectful manner:

It could be just Kuai Liang’s good nature to honor fallen of his clan (I’m still not sure if Lin Kuei Palace is the new place for Sub-Zero’s clan or the ancient hideout) but even in MK Conquest TV series, after Grandmaster was killed by then-currently-Sub-Zero, there was the farewell ceremony with clothes on display (cause there was not much left of body after freezing and shattering) while new leader gave the speech promising to punish the guilty.

Which makes me think that Lin Kuei did honor their fallen warriors (especially those exceptional, deserving). Such custom and apparently common belief in soul could also support the ancestor worship - both as some ancient, mythical ancestor(s) connecting warriors into one clan (family) and tradition to follow in the footsteps of forefathers (Bi-Han taking place of his father [old timeline] or grandfather [current timeline] or Kuai Liang taking Bi-Han’s place as Sub-Zero).

My general conclusion about Lin Kuei is that its members believe in souls, have respect and use of spiritual matters (meditation?) and maybe ancestor worship. Whatever the religious / spiritual practices they have over the centuries, it is not something they will share, as the Lin Kuei by nature are secretive people who keep personal things mostly for themselves. The people that joined the clan (Cyrax and Smoke) maybe kept their old, eventual religious beliefs but overall, Lin Kuei warriors did not fear, care for nor pray to gods. They may respect god (Raiden, Fujin) as a person but not because of their divine nature. And even that would not stop them from criticizing said god. Which is pretty much how Kuai Liang and Raiden’s relationship looks like. Grandmaster is grateful to Thunder God for saving him but he won’t blindly follow his authority.

(Kuai Liang has serious authority issues, hasn't he?)

As for holidays, I can’t really see Lin Kuei to follow any specific religious (theistic) special day cause they don’t care much for gods in the first place. Unless they worked undercover and needed to act as normal human beings, religious holidays would mean nothing to them. The warriors may however celebrate their mission success, combat mastery or promotion between themselves or in secret, I think. Like, Lin Kuei did forbid friendship because it was considered warrior’s flaw yet we know some members either were blood-related (Kuai Liang, Bi-Han, previous Sub-Zero - father or grandfather, depending on which timeline is correct) or considered each other a family (Kuai Liang and Tomas Vrbada) and most named characters worked in duos so they have both opportunity and knowledge about each other to celebrate important matters. If they managed to remember anything from previous life, that is. Because from ancient to at least Great Kung Lao’s times most(?) adepts were kidnapped from biological families at a really young age (something around 6 years old). And Mythologies: Sub-Zero takes that even further:

Its warriors are chosen at birth to be raised apart from the workings of day to day civilization and are stripped of their former lives. Only the clan knows their existence. Each of them posses certain skills and abilities that set them apart from normal men. These abilities are passed on from generation to generation and honed throughout the experiences of life.

So, celebrating birthdays doesn’t sound like happening much, unless those with family around could allow themselves such luxury. The clan may however celebrate the day of becoming a fully trained and sworn warrior? Or the fallen warriors? Who knows.

Also, something worth thinking about: in Mortal Kombat Conquest TV series, when the Grandmaster presented newly appointed Sub-Zero to the rest of the clan, he “celebrated” the cryomancer's first official performance as the execution of two men who failed their mission. So, yeah, celebration of something special in (old) Lin Kuei does not necessarily mean anything nice.

(The next part of answer most likely will be focused either on food or architecture / origin of Lin Kuei. Let's hope I will get it written sooner than later)

<><> EDIT <><>

RELIGION <> ORIGINS / ARCHITECTURE <> FOOD <> FOR THE LIN KUEI <> ART <> CRYOMANCERS <> LIN KUEI SOCIETY <> MONEY & MATERIAL GOODS

[castielific]

Title: Fancy and the tramp

Story status: Complete, 8 chapters

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Dean/Castiel, Alternate Universe, Fake boyfriends, pretend relationship, homeless!Dean, rich!Cas, family, angst with a happy ending, temporary breakup, getting back together, coming out, past!homophobia, self esteem issues, Dean Winchester has a sexuality crisis, first time, homelessness, bed sharing, pining

Sex tags: anal sex, switching, bottom!Cas, bottom!Dean, first time, frottage, marking, blowjob, fingering, barebacking

Special warning: Contrary to what the title may presage, there are no spaghettis in this story. 

Summary: 

"Okay, let's be clear on one thing from the start. This is not a lifetime movie and I'm straight, so no falling in love, get it?"

"I get it, Dean," Castiel nods.

Well, that's it then, apparently Dean is going to a fancy engagement party with his new fake boyfriend. What a weird day. 

Link to AO3

Chapter 1 under the cut:

************

"Come on Ricky, you owe me that money!" Dean says on his phone, taking a step forward when the line of the coffee shop shortens. 

"I don't owe you shit, Dean. You still owe me the last three months of your rent," his ex landlord says on the phone.

"And I'll pay you, you know I will. But to get the money, I need a job, and to get that job I need some new clothes and-"

"Yeah yeah, I know the deal. You think no one has told me that one before? No bueno, man, I'm keeping your deposit," Ricky grumbles. 

Dean groans in frustration. "Come on, all I need is fifty dollars so I can buy a pair of pants without any holes in it. You give me fifty, I get the job and I pay you back, how does that sound?" he tries to negotiate. 

"Like a fucking lie," Ricky spits just before hanging up.

"No Ric-fuck!" 

The woman in front of him in line sends him a dark look. Dean rolls his eyes at her. Like she hasn't heard worse before. 

Ricky was his last shot. It was a long one, he really does owe that bastard some serious money. Guess he can kiss the job interview at two goodbye. It's some kind of assistant job. It sounds easy enough, buying coffee and picking dry cleaning and stuff. It was still a long shot anyway. Dean's only real job experience is being a bagger boy when he was seventeen and it lasted about two months before his dad decided to move them further east. 

So far, he'd always managed to get by doing repairs or cleaning at gas stops and motels. The older he gets and the harder it gets to find that kind of random job. People are more willing to give a few bucks in exchange for manual tasks to a kid than they are to a nearly thirty years old guy. Now they just tell him to fuck off. 

And since it's always been casual and off the book, the only official work experience he has is the bagger thing. He doesn't even have a high school diploma because he dropped out long before that. Not exactly a stellar resume. Which explains why he hasn't found work in eight month and is currently living in his car. Thank God he has Baby. 

He had been too ambitious thinking he could get his own place. It could only pay rent for about five months before he went broke. He's never had a home before, and had no idea that having an apartment cost so much. In motels, you don't exactly have to pay for water or heat or utilities. There was a bunch of stuff he hadn't planned for that ate up the last of his meagre savings. Ricky threw him out after three months when Dean couldn't scrape up enough money to pay rent anymore, putting a violent stop to Dean's pipe dream of living a normal life. He hoped it would be simpler to get a job if he had an actual address, had even thought about scrapping up enough to maybe get his GED. He's not sure what he's going to do now. 

He's always wanted to be a mechanic. If his dad ever taught him anything, it was how to take care of the Impala. John taught him all the basics and Dean got the knack of it. As a teen, he spent days reading car magazines and working on the Impala, trying to learn as much as he could about how cars worked and how to repair the different parts. He knows enough by now that he could easily work in a garage, but he's got no diploma, and hasn't found anyone willing to hire him on faith alone. 

The line of the coffee shop shortens again, the barista asking her order to the goody-two-shoes in front of him. Dean looks regretfully at the display of sandwiches. He searches his pockets and only comes up with three dollars. Of course, the cheapest piece of food cost four dollars. Dean sighs. Guess just a coffee will have to do today. 

He won't have another choice but to go to the soup kitchen tonight. He hates it there. The food is crap and he wants to punch the prancy people serving it. They always try to give him some Jesus bullshit with his food, like Jesus is ever gonna put a roof over his head and find him a decent job. Neither Jesus nor God nor whatever gives a crap about him. Not that he blames them. Hell, if they exist they're probably not big fans of the guy that used to slip into church as a kid to pick the lock of the donation box

"Just an americano, please," Dean says regretfully when the barista asks for his order. At least it will keep him warm and fill his stomach for a short while.

Halloween just went by and the weather is becoming really cold. He should use the last of Baby's tank to go as far south as he can before winter really hits. He probably won't get farther than Wichita though, and the thought makes him shiver. No one wants to get stuck for a winter in Wichita. Maybe he could go and see if he can make a few bucks at the nearest motel, that kind of place always needs a handyman's help. He hasn't tried the one on Corn Street yet. He's noticed only two lights are still working on their sign, he could offer to help with that. If he makes fifty bucks, he might be able to reach Austin. 

Dean stops on the sidewalk in front of the coffee shop, pondering if he should walk to the bar a few streets down or the motel. Sometimes Benny, the owner of the bar, lets him use the sink in the back to wash up. If he's lucky, he'll even get some leftovers from last night. It's generally just some stale pretzels, cold fries on good days, but it's still better than nothing. He's got two cans of beans and a car with an near empty tank to his name right now, so he's not picky. 

Dean takes a look at his watch. It's eleven thirty already, the leftovers are probably already in the trash at Benny's. The motel is probably his best bet. 

"I'll give you a hundred dollars if you pretend to be my boyfriend." comes a hoarse voice, way too close to his ear. 

Dean jumps, nearly spilling his coffee on himself. He spins to the right to face the man who just talked and is met with a pair of clear blue eyes. Way too close again. He waits a second for the man to take a step back as he realises as close Dean turning brought them, but the guy just continues to stare at him, head slightly tilted to the side. He's wearing an oversized trench coat over a dark blue suit that looks expensive. He's so close a gust of wind makes the bottom of his coat brushes Dean's shin. 

"Dude, personal space," Dean reproaches, taking a step back. "And fuck off, I don't swing that way," he adds, not meanly. It's not the first time he's getting hit on by a dude. Sadly, not even the weirdest. He's strictly into chicks though, so no dice.

"Two hundred bucks," the man insists. He looks ready to fall on his knees and beg, eyes going wider and wider as he throws a panicked look to the right of Dean's shoulder. "It won't take more than ten minutes and all you have to do is nod along," he begs, making Dean wonders if he's in danger somehow. Maybe he has a stalker or an abusive ex? 

Dean follows his eyes to a woman coming closer. She's very elegant in a grey pantsuit and a long white fur coat as she walks straight toward them. He can feel her eyes judging him even from thirty feet away, looking at him from head to toes. If he wasn't already self-aware of the number of holes in his jeans, he would definitely be under that gaze. 

"Five hundred dollars," the other man whispers just as the blond woman reaches them. 

"Castiel, dear, you should have told me we would have company, I would have notified the restaurant," the woman says, sending a clearly disapproving look toward Dean as she deposits a kiss on the other man's - (Castiel, apparently, what kind of name is that??) - cheek. 

"Mother, let me introduce you to my boyfriend," Castiel says, looking ill at ease. He's obviously not a very good liar. 

Dean blinks a few times as their attention turns toward him. Castiel seems to be trying to communicate something with his eyes, and Dean frowns in incomprehension for a moment before he gets the hint. 

"Huh. Dean. Winchester," he finally says. "Ma'am," he adds when she just continues to stare at him like he has grease smeared all over his face. He's pretty sure that she wouldn't want to touch his hand if he were to offer it to shake, so he doesn't. 

"Naomi Novak," she introduces herself. "What a delight to finally meet Castiel's new companion," Naomi says, her deadpan tone contradicting her words. "Of course, I would have preferred not to be ambushed by such an announcement. Castiel, you know, that Le Délice hates it when we change our reservation last minute. Who knows if they will even have a table for three," she declares, already composing a number on her phone. 

"It's okay, mother, Dean won't be joining us for lunch."

"Oh, is it because your attire isn't appropriate?" Castiel's mother asks, looking at the holes in Dean's jeans and the big leather jacket that used to be his dad's. "I assure you they won't say a word about it if you're with us," she reassures. 

Dean squirms a little, wondering what the hell is even happening. Ten minutes ago he was buying a coffee and going at his day like a perfectly normal person (well, albeit a homeless and jobless one). Now, his fashion sense is being criticized by the mother of a man who is pretending to be his boyfriend. Did a piano fall on his head or something? Has he finally lost his mind?

He looks to the man beside him. He's scratching the side of his neck in nervousness. The move makes his coat fall a little over his wrist, revealing a freaking Rolex watch. Dean looks back to the woman, eyes sliding on her diamond earrings and the huge rock around her neck. 

You know what? That's not okay. His stomach has been crying for food since last morning, and he's what? Supposed to help this stranger by saying no to free lunch at one of the most prestigious restaurants in town? Fuck no. He's gonna eat like a king and make a few hundred bucks off the back of those rich assholes. 

"In that case, it would be my pleasure to join you," Dean announces with his most charming smile. 

"What?" Castiel can't help but bark. "But y-your work thing?" he tries, sweating. The round panic eyes are back. Dean sends him his best shit eating grin. They both know he now either has to invite this stranger to lunch or reveal the lie to his mother. The guy is trapped and may as well continue to play along.

"It's not as important as a chance to finally get to know your mother, honey," Dean answers. "He's told me so many nice things about you, Naomi. Can I call you Naomi?"

"Of course, dear," Naomi says. She looks a little wide eyed too, probably thrown by Dean turning on the charm to the max.

"Perfect! We shall go now, we don't want to miss your reservation. I do hope it won't be too much of a bother for them to add a chair to your table," Dean says. He should probably tone it down with the pompous tone, because he nearly added an English accent here. 

Naomi leads the way, and Dean is going to follow when a hand grabbing his arm makes him fall a few steps behind. 

"What the hell are you doing?" Castiel hisses.

"Acting as your boyfriend?" Dean says innocently. By Castiel's glare, he's not fooled. 

"I asked you to nod silently for ten minutes, not to do method acting for a whole meal," he reproaches. Naomi sends a look behind her shoulder and Castiel smiles at her like there is no worries, indicating for her to lead the way, 

Dean shrugs. "I had some free time."

"I'm not giving you more money than planned, if that's your goal," Castiel says with a suspicious squint. 

"I'm fine with the five hundred as long as you're also paying for lunch," Dean says, wiggling his eyebrows as they walk toward the restaurant. Something passes on Castiel's face that Dean can't quite identify. The other man stares at him for so long that it's a wonder he doesn't trip. He finally relents with a long suffering sigh as they enter 'Le Délice'. 

Apparently, Naomi Novak is prominent enough that they don't mind changing her reservation after all. They're seated at a table near a legit indoor fountain. Dean is looking around, trying not to let show how impressed he is by the place. The walls are made of stone and covered in frescos that he always thought you couldn't see outside of a church or castle. A waiter gives him a leather covered menu and Dean opens it eagerly. After a few niceties to Naomi, they're asked what they want to drink. Dean has an inkling that he probably shouldn't ask for a beer in an establishment like this. 

"Same for me, please," he says after Castiel ordered some wine with a name Dean can't pronounce. At least, he hopes that's wine. Who knows. Hell, in this place the bottles of water are probably more expensive than his usual brand of beer. 

Dean starts to second guess his decision when he realizes that the menu is in french. What is it with rich people and France? He just wants a damn steak, how do you say that in french? Is there even steaks here or is it just frog legs and snails? Oh god, he hopes not. 

"I think I'll take the duck today," Naomi notes. "Nobody cooks it better than chef Francis. How about you Dean? Have you ever come here before?" There is a mean glint in her eyes that says she knows perfectly well he hasn't. Hell, from the side eyes he got from everyone as they crossed the room, everyone here knows he's not from their world. There are three holes in his jeans, threads hanging from the bottom and his dad's leather jacket probably should have ended up in the trash about three years ago. Even now, it's still too big for him and the sleeves are so scruffed that they're nearly paper thin. The original dark brown color has turned to a light beige in most places from wear. His scruff is just the bad side of too long now, and he hasn't had a haircut since April, strands starting to fall into his eyes. At least, he's wearing his best plaid shirt and managed to wash up last night, so he's not smelling too rank. Why would Castiel pick him out of all the people in the street at that moment to play his boyfriend? It makes no sense at all. From the guy's obvious discomfort as he hides behind his menu, he probably realizes it. 

"Actually, Naomi, duck sounds like a delicious idea," Dean says, voluntarily ignoring her question. To be honest, he’s never even eaten duck before, but it's poultry so it probably taste like chicken. You can't go wrong with chicken, right? His stomach certainly likes the idea, gurgling so loudly that he has to hide it behind a cough. 

Castiel ends up ordering some fish and soon their drinks arrive. Dean barely has time to sip at his red wine before Naomi pounces. 

"So, tell me everything, how did you two meet?"

Dean nearly chokes on his drink. Castiel seems to gulp down his whole glass. 

"We met at a coffee shop. Dean was in line in front of me and we started to talk," Castiel explains, not quite meeting anyone's eyes.

"How quaint!" Naomi exclaims, clasping her hands in delight. "I'm just sorry that you didn't tell me about it sooner, Castiel. How long have you been keeping this charming man a secret?"

"Not-," Castiel clears his throat, "-not long."

"Well, it's nice to finally meet you Dean. I sure wish this luncheon will give me the chance to learn everything about you."

Luncheon? Who even talks like that outside of Downton Abbey?

"I do hope I'll get to keep some mystery, we wouldn't want this guy to lose interest," Dean says with a wink. He pats Castiel's hand on the table. Should he hold it or something? How open on PDA are gay people those days? Not that he knows more about how heterosexual couple act in public anyway, especially in those crowds. It's probably safer to keep the PDA to a minimum here. 

"You have to at least tell me some things. For one, what career path are you on?" She looks like a shark circling her prey. 

"I'm a mechanic," he lies. He'd rather stay as close to the truth as possible. It's a little unfair that Castiel is letting him do all the talking when his initial demand was that he stayed silent, especially since it's his skin that Dean is apparently saving, but the guy looks like he's swallowed a potato whole. 

"Oh, that's...interesting," Naomi says in that insincere tone of hers. She looks like he told her he was fucking children’s corpses every full moon. He's two seconds away from telling her that he's actually jobless, penniless, and homeless, just to see her face, when Castiel intervenes. 

"How is Anna's engagement party coming on?" 

Thankfully, this seems to be a subject Naomi loves because she tells them about every aspect of the future party all the way through their meal. 

Duck, as it turns out, is actually very good. It's more like red meat than chicken, which is a great surprise. Although, Dean isn't a fan of the way rich people put tiny quantities of food in very large plates. He eats all the dinner rolls and scrapes every single bit of sauce out of his plate, yet he's still hungry by the end of it. He nearly starts crying when the waiter asks them if they'll take dessert and Naomi declines. He's starting to wonder if that little piece of duck was worth sitting through lunch with her. 

"That sounds like you're turning this into a wonderful event, mother, Anna must be delighted," Castiel compliments. 

"Oh, you know your sister," Naomi waves it off. "It sure feels like a nice opportunity to introduce your new beau to everyone."

Dean frowns. What's a beau? Is that him? That's not him, right?

"I wouldn't dare take any attention away from Anna," Castiel tries to refuse. 

"Don't be daft, you know your sister won't care. Everyone will be so happy that you've finally found-" she passes a long look, over Dean, like she's doubting anyone would actually approve of him. She certainly doesn't seem to, "-someone," she finishes lamely. 

"Oh shoot, I don't think I'm available that night," Dean tries to play off. 

"I'm not sure I've told you the date of it yet."

"Cas did," he says. The other man perks up at the surname, but whatever, 'Castiel' is a mouthful. "And I have this huh work thing, you know? Bummer," Dean says with a fake pout. 

"What kind of 'work thing' can a mechanic possibly have on a Saturday evening?"

Dean tenses up, pursing his lips. "One he can't get out of?"

"Nonsense, you're coming," Naomi brushes off. And that is that apparently. Shit. There is a vein about to pop on Castiel's forehead. "Castiel, dear, you look a little white. Was the fish okay?"

"I-Yeah-I-Actually, do you think we could possibly cut our lunch short? I am indeed feeling quite unwell."

"Of course, my dear," Naomi says, leaning forward until her hand touches his forehead. "You're as clammy as a fish. I should come home with you, and make sure you're okay," she announces, taking her napkin off her lap and deposing it on the table, ready to stand up. 

"No!" Castiel stops her, a little too brusquely. "I-Dean will take good care of me, don't worry," he says, getting up and grabbing Dean's arm so he does so too. Dean follows his lead, all too happy to get out of here. "Stay and enjoy your tea, mother."

"If you say so," Naomi says, sending an unsure look at Dean, obviously upset at being brushed off in his favor. "Call me this evening, or I'll worry all night."

"Of course, mother," Castiel acquiesces, kissing her cheek. Dean hovers behind him. Is he supposed to kiss her too? Wave hello? Shake her hand? 

"Dean," she says as what is apparently a sufficient goodbye. Thank God. "I'll be sure to see you on Saturday," she reminds just as they're walking away. 

Cas turns on him as soon as they're outside the restaurant. 

"What was that?!" he asks, not quite yelling. He starts pacing, rubbing a hand through his already pretty ruffled hair. 

"You owing me five hundred bucks? Dude, you're lucky I don't charge you more for the fresh hell I just lived through."

"You went through hell? You?!" his pacing gets faster and Dean has an idea that if he stops pacing he might punch him in the face. 

"That's what you get for asking this kind of stuff from a perfect stranger," Dean shrugs, pushing a pebble with the point of his shoe. His red sock is peeking out from a tiny hole near his big toe. It's such a contrast to how grand everything and everyone looked in there. It's making him feel like shit. He's maybe feeling a tiny bit guilty for trapping Castiel like that too. He doesn't seem like a bad guy, albeit one with a psycho mom.

Cas turns on him, eyes glaring and mouth open in what will probably be a flow of reproaches. He stops himself before he says anything though, seeming to deflate. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breathe instead, shoulders falling. "I'm sorry. You're right. I should be thanking you. I have no right to make you any reproach when I brought this on myself."

"It wasn't so bad, though, was it? I mean, I think I sold it?" Dean asks, a little hesitant. He even used pedantic talk and everything. 

"You did as well as could be expected."

"That's not much of a compliment…". 

"I shouldn't take more of your time," Cas apologizes, taking his wallet out. Dean goggles at the amount of cash in there. 

"You really shouldn't have that much cash on you, that's, like, asking for trouble."

Castiel squints at him like he's wondering if that means Dean is gonna rob him for a moment, before he hands him a wad of cash. 

Dean's eyes bulge out, "That's way more than five hundred dollars."

"There's also an advance in there to buy some clothes for the engagement party."

"The what now?" Dean blinks dumbly for a second until his brain catches up to what is happening. "Dude, no, I'm done!" 

"You were the one to push it so far in the first place," Castiel reminds. Accuses, really. 

"I just wanted to eat fancy food, okay! Not, like, go steady."

"There will be lots of food at my sister's engagement party," Castiel tries to persuade. Badly. 

Dean gives him a nonplussed look. The cash feels heavy in his hand. He's never had so much before. This could help him get a new start. What's a night of playing Downton Abbey compared to the many many nights he might not have to freeze his ass off in the backseat of his car thanks to it?

"Why are you even doing this anyway? And why would you choose me? Do I look that desperate for cash?"

"No," Cas says after what's definitely a too long pause. Dean scowls. "You were in front of me in the coffee shop line. I heard you talking on the phone. You said you needed some cash to buy a new outfit for a job interview. Begged, really."

"Where the fuck do you get on listening in on other people’s conversation?" 

"I didn't listen, I just heard."

"You know, what? Fuck you," Dean spits, "I don't need that bullshit in my life right now." He has enough cash to get to Austin and replenish his stock of food, even buy some new clothes. At least this way he can keep his dignity rather than being insulted by a bunch of rich assh-

"Please," Castiel begs, following him as Dean storms away. "You don't understand…"

"Oh I understand perfectly," Dean says, stopping and turning around so brusquely that they nearly bump into each other. "You think you can shit on other people from your high horse and that they'll still do your deed for a few hundred bucks. Well, I'm not your freaking puppet, man."

"I have never shitted on any-" he stops himself with a frustrated groan, before turning on the puppy dog eyes. "Dean, please. Listen to what I have to say at least?"

"I know what you're gonna say. I've seen that movie before, Cas. You're going to bring me to that party, so you can parade me around like I'm some earned price or some shit. Meanwhile you get to appease mommy dearest and the clan of hyenas putting pressure on you to find a husband, while still having the satisfaction of giving them a huge fuck you by bringing a guy like me instead of the golden boy they're dreaming of."

"I-" Castiel stops himself, pursing his lips. "That's actually not that far from the reality."

"Of course it isn't. Told you, I've seen that trope before. Except this is real life and your plan sucks, so you can keep your money and I'll keep my dignity. Just grow a pair and tell them all to fuck off, will ya?"

"You sure do like saying that to people," Castiel sulks. "Are you sure you can't do it for me?" 

"Oh believe me I would love to tell your mom to fuck off, but I like my balls attached to my body, so that's a hard pass."

Castiel laughs slightly at that and Dean can feel his own anger start to abate at the sound. "Good self-preservation instinct on your part," Cas mumbles. The puppy look is still there, except now it's making him feel like he's kicked the puppy.  

"You know, we're in the 21st century, right? You shouldn't feel pressured to the point of inventing a boyfriend. Who gives a shit about that nowadays?"

"My family does," Castiel answers in a long sigh. "You don't get it, how could you... I have three brothers, Dean," Castiel explains. "Two sisters. My little sister, who is just nineteen, just got engaged. I was already seen as the irremediably unwed one and now I…," he pauses, sending a nervous look at Dean, looking ashamed.

"Oh come on. How hard can it be? You're rich, objectively good looking. Do you have weird kinks or something?"

 "I-I wouldn't know. I've never even been in a relationship before," he confesses, looking at the ground.

"When you say 'relationship', you don't mean you've never…" Dean inquires. Cas' cheeks redden, and Dean blows like he just got punched. "Wow. That sucks."

"Yes, it's very pathetic."

"What? Eh no, it's not pathetic. Surprising, yeah. But, to each their own, you know?"

Cas inclines his head like he's not sure he does know. 

"I'm sorry I tried to drag you in all of this. You seem like a good man. You don't deserve-"

"-to be served on a platter to your family?" Dean asks, searching Castiel's gaze until they exchange a smile. 

"Yes. That." The man is still looking dejected. The money is still in Dean's hand. That duck really was good. Damn it.

"The food better be freaking awesome," Dean relents with a frustrated grunt. Castiel seems instantly relieved. "And you're not pretty woman-ing me," he warns, pointing a finger at the other man. "I'm choosing my own clothes and I don't give a shit if I don't know which fork to use for fish."

Castiel's head is tilted and he's blinking owlishly, like he doesn't understand a word that Dean is saying. Figures. He's not sure how he could convince anyone that he's this dork's boyfriend, honestly. Naomi certainly looked like she wasn't fooled. 

"I'm sorry for the way my mother behaved toward you. I assure you, being yourself will be amply sufficient to the task."

"Dude, the way y'all talk, where do you come from, Victorian England?"

"I-I don't think I have English ancestry, no. Why?"

They blink at each other for some time. 

"I must be a freaking masochist."

Cas' face scrunches up even more in incomprehension. 

"Okay, let's be clear on one thing from the start. This is not a lifetime movie and I'm straight, so: no falling in love, get it?"

"I get it, Dean," Castiel nods. 

Well, that's it then, apparently Dean is going to a fancy engagement party with his new boyfriend. What a weird day... 

You can read the rest on AO3

[kyrrahbird]

Ky’s 琅琊榜 Nirvana in Fire/Lang Ya Bang liveblog experience

EPISODE 3

OKAY EP 3 THE ONE YOU REALLY NEED TO STICK IT OUT TO

if u havent watched this show *please do*!! And maybe dont read this liveblog lmaoo

i forget entirely how much goes into each ep. but anyways to get this show on the road: this one starts with the child being beaten :( ...

Education in your serf class is bad obviously

I admire the gall of the eunuch to say “Prince Jing cant help you now” when Prince Jing is Right There

poetic justice

this is ALSO

dun dun

the first meeting of the DREAM TEAM 

!!

(Jingyan, Mei Changsu and Nihuang)

OOOH BOY THE UNDERCURRENTS

MCS goes straight to comforting the slave boy and i just feel,,, its sincere but there are,,, SO MANY layers of machinations going on here

like its manipulation of Every Person in this scene and i both hate and admire that cold blooded calculation

ESPECIALLY WHEN HE’S MEETING JINGYAN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN TWELVE YEARS ;A;

Just an update: this man is still Dead Inside™. And so distrustful i die too

Quick aside to the terrible princes:

I would also like to note, and its been said before but

Prince Yu is NOT SUBTLE in his aspirations. if i had to say who was the crown prince i might be confused??

and back-

Nihuang and MCS just pulled a mean pincer maneuver on Jingyan and hes being equally pointy back. Stop being mean to my prince :(((

i do wonder if nihuang is clued in, bc if she is, she puts a hell of a lot of trust in mcs. or maybe its all just subconscious, and they’re falling back into their old dynamic 

this scene KILLS ME

bc Prince Jing is trying so hard to protect tingsheng but he really has such limited power and he knows it

(i should read the book)

The first time i watched i did not realise HOW YOUNG mu qing is supposed to be. i love a protective younger bro ;;n;;

I also appreciate the flashbacks to relevant information. just so we know whats important to mcs

MENG DA-GE

-just saved that dude’s ass

Fei Liu was ready to wreck him

This didnt need to be so ominous but i appreciate their dedication to the Melodrama™

EVEN THE TALKING WHILE NOT LOOKING AT EACH OTHER

Nothing sus going on here. look they’re even facing different directions

MENG DA-GE LITERALLY SAID MOVE INTO MY HOUSE

bless

He’s worried!!! His mother hen tendencies are coming out!!

No he doesnt. No thoughts, only protecc

like a puppy

I also love the fact that despite all her fancy headdresses and pretty outfits, we never forget Nihuang is a martial general. Its the way she holds herself and moves i think

“This person is a mystery” > cut to sir su napping in a chair

Theres definitely comedy here. quite a lot of it!!! and i adore it

Never fear, Meng da-ge is here to join the “Force Mei Changsu to look after himself” gang

Side note - I kind of take it for granted as the kind of person Meng da-ge is, but i do think its symptomatic of the empire that one guy can just rock up and basically suborn the entire royal guard. like. your majesty. u done fucked.

70,000 is a staggering number of your own people to kill in one go. Like. I can’t actually wrap my head around it.

And all those people would have had families and friends and sure, they’re mostly just common but. most likely a bunch of the prominent families were killed too. im just wondering if there were like. riots? Or everyone just kept their head down and were like “guess it must be treachery”  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Consort Yue is so goddamn transparent in her manipulation but also like - there’s layers there

Because I feel like the emperor sees through the first layer (having an interest in who Nihuang marries) but is completely incapable of seeing beyond that

Or he doesnt want to. I mean the man does encourage competition in his court

Anyways we find out that he’s going to choose Sir Su to judge the written part of the challenge

This is great because it means Su-xiansheng is going to COURT :D

why do i keep changing how i refer to him? its whatever fits the vibe baby

Man’s got too many names anyways

gotta keep them in rotation

Oh we just found out Baili Qi might be top of the Langya list. good to know the system isnt infallible

I love everyones reactions like

what

the fuck

SOMEBODY FIX THIS

LMAO

Yujin is here to drop Jingrui’s badass backstory

And why he has the name and surname of a prince

I do wonder what its like, for jingrui. Like sure, hes son of two families... but heir of neither? He’s the oldest child but hes also known his whole life that he wont inherit the title. 

idk must be weird

hes incredibly good natured given all that shit

Lin Shu gege just humouring them by listening to a story that hes totally never head before /s

if only they had a dna test

Who’s My Daddy™ ancient fantasy china

ghufdghuisrgu Mu Qing u cant just SAY that

Update: Mu Qing has kidnapped sir Su

OMG

HES ENTERING THE ROYAL COURT

I REPEAT LIN SHU/MEI CHANGSU IS ENTERING THE COURT

i need to just-

the fkn music man

i die

Like i said the first time, i didnt know the full scope of the big deal but i KNEW. that this was it

These were the stakes. All the way up to the emperor

theres gon be some PARALLELS

“You no longer need to refer to yourself as a commoner”

oof

(i would like to say now that i love Liyang

like, A Lot

Second only to Nihuang)

LMAO mcs giving the crown prince a subtle head shake

His POWER

This ep ends on Baili Qi beating the absolute fuck out of Jingrui while Su-xiansheng just peels and eats an orange smirks like the absolute shit he is

like a beyblade

I’m going to stop putting links in these bc i know tumblr doesnt like them, but ill keep up the tagging. I might not get to one ep a day, but every couple of days or so seems doable! i just love dumping my train of thoughts into walls of text :D

TTFN

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

“i had a dream about the Borderlands are Yours trailer last night for like the 7th time so i guess i ought to do the analysis before i have a breakdown”

find the trailer here

~discussion of the cloth map spoilers occurs in here, but nothing else. if you’re worried about those spoilers do not read~

non-spoiler tl;dr: we discuss why rhys’s head implant is yellow instead of blue in this one particular scene and also go thru a bunch of theories as to what tf is up with Zer0. and some other stuff about giant space lasers

so the intro is pretty much the same as the we are mayhem trailer so we’re gonna ignore that since we figured out where sanc-iii was

pretty sure this scene has been shown already too, in the official announce trailer, i remember taking note of the pink shots

another cov camp on pandora (see elpis in the back). ive said it before and ill say it again i adore amara’s as animations

seen this a bajillion times as well

from we are mayhem near the end. also im still lowkey convinced that robot directly to the right of moze is jakobs. i know i’m probably wrong but... i want to believe. it reminds me of a cowboy

The Are. this is directly below Sanc-III (u can see the wall in the background)

eden-6!!! im interested in the signs in the back there

Prison, Reliance, Jakobs Estate, and... amoe kyuri??? wtf does this say?? idek.

This A Way (glad to know Claptrap will haunt us from beyond Sanc-III)

im interested in the Prison. i wonder if that’s any of those concrete structures/buildings we’ve been seeing across eden-6. i was under the assumption those were like testing facilities, but a prison would also make a whole hell of a lot of sense.

actually

given this sign here over the bridge to the left of the above shot

and the fact we see this concrete structure on the far left in this coming shot

that might actually make some lick of sense...

also can i just say i love the aesthetic of this supply line

so there’s a lot of shots here we’ve already seen and gone over multiple times, im not going to do that again. sorry but... eh.

maliwan = cultists confirmed

i mean if the cult-themed t-shirts being maliwan colored didn’t already cue us in on that, this definitely should lol

and speaking of this shot, i wonder if this has anything to do with Rhys’s building? the one his office would be in. it looks like there are multiple levels to the right of this robo

ah maliwan working with the cult why am i not surprised

rhys gets fucking annihilated (TM)

in all honesty... given this quest name

“Space-Laser Tag” and the subsequent quest “Atlas, At Last” makes me honestly think rhys is about to seriously get fucked up

which sucks. i like rhys. we’ll talk more about this in a second, but i don’t think its coincidence the VHs have come up to the asteroid belt to stop the giant space laser and thus are not on Promethea where the laser is going to hit

better look at this shot, that definitely looks like a rampager to me. i get it, i think. gearbox is hyping up this rampager fight to be super awesome, show it in all the promotional material, have a kickass fight with it, then the twins come in and steal the kill from you. they steal the satisfaction from getting to kill this super hyped-up vault monster.

im picking up what you’re putting down, GB. 

did not realize fl4k actually snaps. how the heck do they do that?? gotta be hard with metal caps as their fingers tbh

404 space station not found

we’re back on the asteroid

... why this gun shoot tentacles :|

this is art

wheres his head going

i was so distracted by the razor blade status effect (??? zeroes??) i didn’t notice the giant-ass A on this banner

OwO what’s this for

~A~

also this which... looks like it could be an amara skill. maybe the one that releases elemental projectiles after an enemy is damaged? feel like we would’ve seen that one already tho.

thinking of this one, im pretty sure we should’ve seen this in one of the many, many gameplay videos (im so jealous) already available.

so if it is, baller, if it’s not, im not too surprised.

it does also seem to be targeting the double cause its shield becomes visible after being hit

i thiiink this is eden-6? in which case it may be that facility tina, brick, and mordy are in (the windows). which may, in retrospect, be that prison we’ve been hearing about

cool angle of the HBC. im pretty sure we’ve seen this shot before, too.

before we get to the actual best part of this scene

this looks very Athenas-like. possibly eridian? although the lights are throwing me off. i suppose the order or someone from the order could’ve built these structures... but what for??

heheheh

also this fucker has those rocks growing out of his head, too

the ones from the alien guns

somewhere outside the RC

back at it again in the space station

also this maliwan thing looks so fucking cool

duuuude looks like the cult got their hands on more than just maliwan hoverwheels, check out that dropship on the left!!! looking cool asf

the cars are STUNNING

holy shit this skin is amazing

very siren-esque

we’ve gone over this clip already but given now that we know the maliwan base thing is on the asteroid, it’s fitting to re-address it i think

a look at one of the metal bois (that im still convinced are jakobs lol)

i love the way this thing looks

the portal seems to be giving off the same blue sparkles we’ve seen on pandora

these

[edit] we also see them in the newest new trailer as Sanc-III zooms off into space. which is interesting.

dunno wtf that means, but yeah. they exist

probably some weird eridian/other dimension shit.

more eden-6

goliath looking amazing. not red and is wearing a helmet, so that’s interesting

looks like a part of the space station

biggggg hallway. im honestly loving how huge these maps seem to be

geniviv! i love her boss fight sooo fucking much.

honestly looks like so much fun

more c a r s

this fucker

probably eridian

i mean it seems to be absorbing the pink-ish energy from the moving stones so i assume its got some sort of link going on

also comparing the mask and arm bit to what we’ve seen rhys hand us on promethea

this thing???

but yellow instead of pink

u kno all this

ye

then again it does sorta ruin the eridian tech so maybe... it’s not lol

honestly my other guess is this is part of that ‘experimental forest’ we’ve seen signs for during the eden-6 demo. dunno why it’s destroying the eridian ruins tho. maybe those pink b e a m s are hurting it? entirely possible. some sorta... life succ ability like Tyreen.

but i don’t think it’s coincidence this thing has shown up right on top of some Eridian ruins/buildings/whatever. the leftmost part though looks like it could be human technology, which is weird. maybe some weird sort of mish mash. human tech that trees/plants grew onto and eridian ruins accidentally powered up. iunno man. im tiored.

rhys’s implant is glowing orange/yellow-ish which is very new

this is from the dev trailer (not glowing at all in the darkness)

from the promethea twitter trailer

and honestly that’s pretty wild to me because in tftbl rhys’s implant glows blue 

shown when he’s in the vault next to fiona

in bl3 during the We Are Mayhem trailer while using his ECHO eye

oh also since i just noticed

from the promethea demo

this scene

also from the promethea demo

they’re missing their monomolecular edge!

we’ll get back to zer0 in a secco

anyway you know who else’s head implant glows?

im not saying katagawa is replacing rhys because their implants are on opposite sides of their heads, but i am saying Katagawa WANTS Rhys in Maliwan and... well, Rhys’s forehead implant isn’t glowing yellow in any other shot we see of him

idk gamers i just think its sus

also rhys is holding onto that thing we see him handing to us in the Promethea trailer

this thing?? you know?

the eridian thingie majig

tho these look like two different areas... unless there’s like a very drastic wall change between angles (which there may be- these fans look identical)

which makes sense that Maliwan would want it (for the big laser thing maybe?? since we know they’re going for activating said laser)

... but honestly i get the feeling this is in some way related to... after the laser. especially since we know that that eridian thingie matches up with this one on pandora

in which case... wtf is the laser for? it definitely looks like its destroying stuff on the surface...

rhys also seems to have knowledge about the eden-6 vault key since he projects it during the dev trailer

me thinks someone got h a c k e r o n i e d

alright galaxy brain theory time:

rhys gets hacked by maliwan not only bc they want a merger, but also because he has info on the vaults/giant space laser, forces zer0 to be maliwan branded now since atlas is joining maliwan, zer0 finds out rhys is not willingly joining maliwan and is instead under maliwan control and tries to forcibly take the key away from him, we stop zer0 and save rhys from both the assassin and maliwan control

🤷‍♂️

Alright but in all seriousness there’s only 2 ways this can go

1. that’s actually our zer0

2. that’s actually not our zer0

and there’s a lot of theories running around about that and i guess we ought to address them

so for 1 there’s a few possibilities:

1. zer0 is a robo/cyborg and got hacked by maliwan (i personally don’t like this one bc i don’t want to know what zer0 actually is. it is a ~m y s t e r y~)

2. zer0 got paid more money to eliminate rhys and is doing so

3. zer0 decided killing their boss would be the ultimate challenge and thus decided to try it out... by joining maliwan

4. they’re faking rhys’s death and/or zer0 is infiltrating maliwan

5. zer0 got the brainwashed/their bodysuit got hacked (i would be interested to see if the monomolecular edge tech caused them to get captured or smth. i mean if there’s a tracker on it, then zer0′s decepti0n wouldn’t exactly work cuz they turn invisible... but they’d still be seen)

6. rhys got the brainwashed/hacked and zer0 is attacking him to get the eridian thingie/key/relic/whatever back

personally i’m curious how they’d play off 1-3 given Zer0 and Rhys are both shown on sanc-iii and zer0 even has crew challenges

im saying idk if the crimson raiders would appreciate zer0 attacking/trying to kill an ally without very good reason.

which is why i’d imagine 4-6 are the more reasonable answers?

also given the explosion of Promethea (what we’re assuming is Promethea) is green and also the laser we see maliwan controlling is purple, i wonder if that’s some brainwashing juice instead of... other stuff. cuz like.

this is elpis’s giant space laser. very radiant and like... ribbon-y? and has all that blue stuff and orbs and mm.

THIS is Promethea’s very solid and has circles and just. looks straight up like a death laser.

and yeah again it could be modified by that human-looking (?) tech around it to be like a brainwashing b e a m or something

or just more precise. that too.

and honestly idk if this could destroy a planet like how we see the planet (that we are assuming is promethea bc of the asteroid belt) in the sanc-iii article

it’s a solid ‘yeah that’s more likely than my theory’. might take a lot of time tho. or maybe those energy rings power it up or deal more damage when they hit the planet...

oh also given Tina literally says “WE blowing up this whole mother humpa”

and the reason im questioning the human-looking tech around it is because

typhon and leda 100% noticed something here. i guess if it was altered by humans after typhon and leda found it then that would make sense?

we’ve also got this from the tree guy, so i don’t know for certain.

anyway number 2

(2. that’s actually not our zer0)

i love these ones

1. that’s 0ne (zer0′s assassin’s assassin from the son of crawmerax dlc)

2. maliwan made a/hired a copy of zer0 and it’s easy to copy their voice/way of speech bc of the modulator (that’s just a fake implanted into atlas to steal all their secrets)

and all of these have the idea that the real zer0 shows up to save rhys at the end of this scene (explaining the blue light)

this

i personally disagree on that being zer0′s sword. tbh it looks more like a maliwan weapon or a laser or smth to me. that said it could be a weird effect because they’re in decepti0n or smth.

most of these theories have the idea that the real zer0 is either off with Fiona or Lorelei or just off on their own and only show up later. i wouldn’t even be surprised, given their line at the end of Tales. you know the one where they diss rhys like “i was talking to her” lol

so i don’t really have much to add to these. personally i believe that’s our zer0 up there, but i wouldn’t be shocked if something happened with the monomolecular edge that allowed maliwan to create a copy of zer0. or brainwash/control them. whichever. 

i do like the reintegration of 0ne into the story, that’d be a hilarious call-back, but i worry it’d be too obscure (a side quest in a headhunter dlc) for the majority of players. we’ll see

it’s weird if brainwashing or mind controlling thru the maliwan tech is the case bc the monomolecular edge isn’t present on their maliwan sword. or their future sanc-iii sword (but that part DOES make sense bc why would they keep that).

(alright also so i just took a bunch of nyquil cuz im sick as a dog so if this devolves into incoherent rambling im so sorry)

ah aurelia

i love her to bits but i don’t trust her because i mean... she worked alongside Nisha and Wilhelm and Alistair dislikes her. there’s like a 50-50 shot she’ll become evil

i would not be surprised if this is a boss fight (door looks frozen over on the left there) but also i would not be surprised if she’s helping us fight off waves of enemies given it looks like we’re in the jakobs manor

like i said 50-50

her attack does make the camera wiggle a bit, usually that happens if the attack injures the player viewing it (with the hud off) cuz it will give a stagger effect

so take that with a grain of salt. also we don’t see aurelia on sanc-iii when hammerlock and wainwright are both there in the group shot in the launch trailer

this fucker i already talked about a bunch in my reddit post on the eridium subject so im going to link that here. i might have already spoken about it on here tbh... i can’t remember lol

anyway here’s the copy and paste from there to here

you can see a huge Tink with Eridium growing out of his head and what look to be Eridium horns. And he's being elementally charged from an Eridian floor tile (in one of those temples, probably the Pandoran one but it could be Athenas, I guess). Kind of like how Bloodwing (also bigger) becomes elementally charged by Jack using element-throwers to change her element. i know it's a cultist tink because on his right shoulder (our left) he has those glow-y pink/purple tubes that are on the CoV guns and other cultists (like goliaths). and while i'm not sure if this is solely Eridian stuff (since they're in a temple) or because of the twins, it's definitely something that should be talked about. 

wait no yeah i did talk about this because of the athenas post. i just remembered lol

uhhh whoops. double dipping i guess lol sorry

still not sure if this is Pandora or Athenas. kind leaning towards Pandora atm

i like how this guy is able to make a cryo wall thing

he goes to smash it but we don’t get to see what happens cuz it cuts to another rampager

dishing out corrosive/radiation (??) attacks while someone shoots it with a fire weapon

this bamf which i KNOW i discussed in that athenas post

also something i haven’t noted is that his roar seems to be activating something here, like a spiral light of dooooom. also more blue sparkles. maybe summoning an assist? or a debuff/attack aoe. 

there is also this weird light near its legs that moves with the camera and sorta reminds me of the weird real-life face talky siren thing. you know the one

very curious as to what this is cause i haven’t seen it in any other scene with a rampager in it. maybe some sort of connection to the spiral/whirlwind thing it’s making?

oh wow im tired now lol

well bl3 is fully downloaded on my computer gamers, so we can officially say it’s happening!!!

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Rocking the Boat 7

A/n: AU story that doesn’t follow the show

Link to Chapter 6 

Words: 1,976

Pairings: Gabriel x Reader / Dean x Cas

____________

Gabriel and Dean were still in the same crappy bar as before. Cas had stepped out after Gabriel shared the vision on how his relationship with you started. Gabriel had half expected Dean to be the one that needed some space but instead it was Cas. The other angel apparently just couldn’t process everything was spoon fed to him. Gabriel couldn't fault him. It didn’t matter that Gabriel didn’t have (nor would have for that matter) children of his own, he understood that this had to be hard for Dean and Cas. 

Dean was, meanwhile, halfway through another shittiy beer. He had low key flirted with a few of the bar tenders but stopped when Gabriel started calling him a man whore and asking how Cas would take this? 

Dean looked up to see the archangel glaring at him again. Gabriel wasn’t the normal Gabriel that Dean knew. Instead, he was being exactly what Dean expected an archangel to be. He was cold, angry, and didn’t find anything amusing. 

“You know Gabe, I have in my own weird way accepted that I won’t be getting rid of you.” 

Gabriel rolled his eyes. 

“Would you like an award?”

Dean smirked. 

“I like you better when you are annoying. When you are acting all archangel like...you are kind of a drag.” 

Gabriel smirked at that. 

“If you want I can put you back into a genital herpes commercial again or let you see what the black death was really like for the mid evil people?”

Dean shook his head. 

“Hell no on both! What’s got your panties in a twist?”

Gabriel shrugged. 

“Hell, I don’t know. I haven’t seen the woman that I love in a few weeks. When she talks to me its like we are on different sides of the planet.  Wait, haven’t we had this discussion?”

Dean shrugged. 

“Just trying to help. Guess I don’t make a good shrink.”

Gabriel lightly laughed as Dean’s phone rang. 

“No, don’t quit your day job.”

Gabriel leaned back into his seat as Dean began his conversation with whoever called him. The moment that Dean sat up straight and started asking what the hell happened? Gabriel knew that something was wrong. Dean’s eyes rolled up to Gabriel. 

“We’ll be there in a second.” 

Dean growled before hanging up. 

“What?”

Gabriel immediately asked. Dean motioned to the door.

“Something happened. Apparently Y/n and Sam went on a hunt and she got hurt. Sam says its bad. We have to get to the hospital quick! You have to perform some holy magic to save my kid! I need to get a hold of Cas…”

Gabriel didn’t ask any questions before he reached out to Dean to get to the hospital quicker than flying.  

When Dean’s world stopped spinning, he stood in the middle of a busy hospital ward. People rushed around him, not seeming to care about how he made an entrance. Dean quickly turned to see Gabriel muttering quietly to Cas, The other angel looked ready to cut someone's head off. 

“What happened, Dean?”

Cas growled. Dean shrugged.

“All I know is Y/n and Sam went hunting.” 

Cas moaned. 

“How surprising! Sam!” 

Cas practically yelled  the younger Winchester’s name when Sam walked out of a room. Dean’s mouth fell seeing his younger brother’s arm in a sling. Sam pressed his lips together. The last thing that he wanted to do was face his brother and two highly pissed off angels but he had to. They deserved to know the truth.

“Guys…”

He started but stopped the moment that Gabriel slammed him against the wall. 

“What he hell were you thinking? Taking her hunting when we specifically said no! You better start answering my questions!” 

Cas stepped forward and put a hand on Gabriel’s back. 

“Choking him out won’t get us anything.” 

Gabriel slowly let go of Sam’s shirt and in a gesture of apology healed Sam’s broken arm. 

“Thanks. Look, we were after some ghosts. We went into this house and Michael was there. Some angels knocked me out cold. Apparently Y/n was with Michael. I don’t know what happened but he threw her out a window. She is hurt really bad. The doctors won’t tell me much but she has a broken back and bleeding on the brain. Dean I would have never…”

Dean held a hand up. 

“Where’s a doctor? They are going to tell me something?” 

Sam motioned to the doctor that was typing way on a computer. Dean lightly elbowed Cas and started walking over. The older man didn’t look up when Dean stopped in front of him. 

“Can I help you?”

He asked routinely. Dean cleared his throat. 

“Yeah, you can help me alright. I need to know what is going on with my daughter. You wouldn't talk to her uncle but you are going to talk to me. I want answers and I want to see my kid.” 

The doctor looked up. 

“This isn’t the pediatric floor, sir.” 

Dean rolled his eyes. 

“My daughter’s name is Y/n Winchester. She was brought in here for an accident. I don’t have a lot of answers and if you don’t start giving them to me it is going to be ugly.” 

The doctor frowned. 

“You are Y/n Winchester’s father?” 

Cas nodded. He quietly adjusted the doctor’s vision so the man would see just who Dean actually was. 

“We both are. We want to see our daughter.” 

Cas continued. The doctor shut the laptop that he was working on. 

“My apologies. Your daughter is very ill. She was brought in after some kind of accident. I personally haven’t seen anyone live through whatever it was that happened to her. Y/n has a broken back, half of her ribs are broken, and there is a bleeding on her brain. We were going to try relive the swelling but it was too dangerous. The next 24 hours will determine if we can do anything to help her. If you follow me, I’ll take you to her room.” 

Dean tried not to internally panic with the information that he was given. He knew that Gabriel and Cas would be able to save you. That didn’t stop him from grieving. He hated knowing that you were in pain and he couldn’t do anything to save you! He was your father. He was supposed to save you...and he failed.” 

“Dean, she will be fine.”

Cas stated softly. He knew exactly what Dean was thinking at the moment. Dean’s green eyes rolled up to Cas’ face. 

“We should have taken her with us.” 

Cas sighed. 

“Maybe so. For now, we shouldn’t question our previous actions. We need to worry about our child.” 

Cas’ attention turned to Gabriel. The archangel looked ready to burn the world down. 

“Gabriel…”

“Just get me to her.” 

Was all Gabriel could get out. Cas decided that trying to reason with Gabriel was probably useless. If Cas needed any proof of Gabriel’s devotion to you then this was the perfect moment. 

Walking into the hospital room, it took all Gabriel, Dean, Cas had not to fall apart. The sight of you broken and hooked up to so many machines was the worst thing imaginable! 

Dean quickly walked to the bed and put a hand on the side of your face. When you didn’t react to his touch, Dean had fight back a sob. 

“Sweetheart, you are gonna be just fine. Gabriel is going to heal you right up then you are getting the lecture of a lifetime!.” 

Gabriel had quickly taken his place on the other side of your bed. His golden eyes looked completely devastated. Dean didn’t have to look up to know that Gabriel was going through some PTSD fueled mania at the moment. 

“Gabriel?”

Dean said his name carefully. Gabriel didn’t blink. His eyes were focused on your face. He tried to memorize everything that he already knew about you. What if he couldn't save you? Gabriel would never be able to be “sane” again. If team free will thought that he was in a bad state after Ketch saved him from Asmodeus..they hadn’t seen anything yet!  

“Gabriel.”

Dean said Gabriel’s name a little louder. The archangel snapped up. Dean looked at him with an expression of sympathy and desperation. 

“Please...please save my little girl.”

Cas hadn’t moved from his place by the door. He looked like he was too in shock to really intervene and do any saving himself. 

“You can do it, Gabe.”

Dean added, weakly. His own grip on reality was slowly fading. Dean didn’t know how long he would be able to function! 

He wasn’t even able to look up as Gabriel’s eyes began to glow. Dean was motionless for a few moments. What if Gabriel couldn’t save you? Would Dean be strong enough to bury his own child? He didn’t think so. 

The moment that you gasped, Dean’s eyes snapped open. You were looking around with wide eyes. Dean had never been so happy to see “his” own eyes looking back at him. 

“Sweetheart!”

Dean managed to get out before wrapping his arms around you. Gabriel was slowly moving all of the tubes away. He was trying to be nice and let Dean have some time with you at first but with each passing second Gabriel was ready to shove him away! 

You, meanwhile, coughed when Gabriel removed the tube that was going down your throat. 

“Dad, Cas, Gabriel what are you three doing here? Wait, where am I?”

Dean and Gabriel exchanged looks.

“You are in the hospital.” 

Cas stated calmly as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead. Gabriel quickly climbed onto the bed beside you and took you into his arms. You snuggled against Gabriel’s chest and breathed in his scent. God, you had missed him! 

“Y/n, what were you thinking? He could have killed you!” 

Dean finally snapped. You winced at how loud his voice seemed. Whether it be your head bashing into concrete or all of the drugs that you had been given...you had a splitting headache. Dean’s voice screeching about Micheal. 

Gabriel finally decided to speak.

“I told you not to do anything stupid.”

You finally looked up to your boyfriend’s face.

“Well, I wasn’t intending on going against Michael or calling him a girl.”

“WHAT?”

Gabriel snapped. You winced and put a hand on your forehead. 

“Gabe, I love you but will you and dad stop yelling? You could both break a mirror right now.”

Dean muttered a bunch of curse words under his breath. 

“You’re lucky that I am not trying to break your neck for that stunt.”

Gabriel hated ganging up on you but at the moment you had to see why he was so upset! 

“Y/n that was dumb.” 

You threw your arms up. 

“I punched him and I think that I sliced his face with the angel blade I had in my hand. He started screaming like a bitch then I called him a girl. After that I woke up here wanting pancakes.” 

Gabriel put a hand over his face. He wanted to stop the sarcasm from coming out if at all possible.

“You’re lucky that you are not a pancake!” 

Too late ...Gabriel thought with a smirk. Dean quickly sat down across from you. 

“Here’s what's going to happen little lady. You are coming home and resting! No more hunting or whatever it is the two of you do and for the love of god don’t tell me! Gabriel, get her home and keep an eye on her!” 

______

@brokencasbutt67-writer

@authoressskr

@marichromatic

@hankypranky

@wontlookaway

@fand0maniac

@fandom-trash-worth-it

@untoldshortsofthefandoms

@mycuddlycorner

@shitfaceddaniel

@killtherandomness

@emiwrites3reads

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts

@deanwherescas

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@summer-novak

[anthropologicalhands]

r/n 21. on a place of insecurity

note: it’s a hogwarts au! link to Ao3

~

Before she knew she was a witch, Rebecca’s seventeenthbirthday hadn’t held any special appeal for her, not the way the birthdaysdirectly preceding and following did. But the day her Hogwarts letter wriggled outof her mailbox and swept her out of her mother’s house changed all of that. True,it wasn’t a complete rescue; no castle, no matter how far away, could save herentirely from her mother and her neverending push for excellence which, unmooredby the new standards that a whole wizarding world revealed, doubled down inother ways.

However, by wizarding law, at seventeen a witch is an adult.When Rebecca turns seventeen, provided that she does not involve Muggleswithout ties to the wizarding world, she will be able to prove to Naomi Bunch,once and for all, what magic can really do.

There is always more magic to learn, even filled as the pastsix years have been with falling in love with Josh Chan, developing unusual butstrong inter-House friendships with Valencia Perez and Heather Davis, andfinding refuge in the Divination tower to have tea with Professor Proctor, evenif Rebecca had to drop the subject after her A-for-Acceptable-except-notOWL, forced to concede that she was too willing to read signs into anythingthat might suit her wishes.

That self-awareness, however, doesn’t stop Rebecca fromwishing for a sign right now.

There are barely fifteen minutes left before the end of herstudy session with Nathaniel Plimpton and she still hasn’t made her propositionyet, and it isn’t entirely clear if her own nervous anticipation or some otherforce is stretching the seconds out, so that the time to drag on especiallylong. Maybe it’s the short winter days, which makes the shadows in the libraryare especially long and dark, even though dinner isn’t for another two hours,or the flickering candlelight that makes her eyes sting and is definitely notthe best source of illumination. Idly, she wishes had her favorite reading light,the one shaped like a cartoon anglerfish, but no; it’s against the rules tohave any Muggle technology in the castle, even components as simple as alightbulb and batteries. She might still try it before she finishes; evensomething that small is a novelty to the classmates of hers who have only knownmagic all of their life, who haven’t had to fight to hold onto it, to make sureit isn’t just a fever dream.

She wants to see how Nathaniel would react, in particular—notto a reading light, but to a whole list of Muggle contraptions; he usuallymakes wonderful faces when confronted by technology he doesn’t know. From whatshe has seen of his Muggle Studies syllabus, they tend to skip out on some ofthe more interesting innovations.

Nathaniel likes to claim that Muggle Studies are a logicalchoice as a course of study going into Wizarding law, even though he knewabsolutely nothing about the Muggle world before they started talking inearnest, and he refuses to take her insights until after the professor hasgraded and returned his work – the result of a couple of small, harmlessmisconceptions she planted in his head early on in their acquaintance. Still,she’s looking forward to reading his essay on electricity after he gets it back—hetends to make interesting assumptions about the devices used in Mugglekitchens.

Rebecca sighs, not quietly, and peers over A Guide toAdvanced Transfiguration to see if Nathaniel might have the same jitteryfeeling as the end of their session approaches and might speak first so thatshe doesn’t have to start. But he seems perfectly content as he writes out hisessay in that neat, narrow script of his, nearly at the end of his roll ofparchment. She fidgets and groans to herself, realizing that she can’t wait forhim to look up first if she wants to talk to him about this and not miss herchance. Because she really, really wants to see how he’ll react to thisidea of hers.

“Hey,” she says, breaking the silence, testing the waters.

His eyes immediately flick up to meet hers.

“Hey,” Nathaniel returns, the word clipped and neutral. Buthe sets down his quill, like he knows that she wants to talk, and a full-bodyflush goes through her at his acquiescence, though she clears her throat andtries to seem perfectly unaffected as she leans towards him, so that there isno chance of their conversation will be overheard. He shifts towards her aswell, mirroring her folded hands and inclined head.

“Have you ever thought about what form your Animagus wouldtake?”

Nathaniel raises his eyebrows at her, unimpressed.

“Not particularly,” he says, sitting back in his chair. “Whatuse would I ever have for that? They’re just going to ask about the generalprocess, or the spell, not about your opinion.”

Rebecca pouts at him. “Come on, dude. Leave the cut-and-dryroutine and play along.”

Nathaniel rolls his eyes at her, the way he does when he isgoing to oblige her but wants her to know that he knows exactly what he is doing. She sits back, completely unashamed –whatever makes him feel good enough that he gives an answer.

“A cheetah,” he admits, with great reluctance.

Rebecca blinks, surprised; it’s a slightly more fancifulanswer that she would have expected.

“Really? A cheetah? The super sickly mammal known to haveanxiety? That one?”

“It’s the fastest mammal in the world,” he defends.

Rebecca hums, not entirely sold. “I guess. I’d have thoughtthat you were gonna pick a big cat, it would be a lion. Though, it makes sensethat you didn’t, ‘cause then you would lose face with all of your Slytherinbuddies, huh?”

Nathaniel just gives her a Look; she smiles innocently.

“What about you?” he asks, not because he cares, but becauseit is the point of the conversation, and he knows it. Rebecca is happy to takeit anyways.

“I haven’t decided yet, but I’m about to find out very soon.”

Nathaniel cocks his head to the side, the way he does inclass when the professors make a point that doesn’t track for him. “What do youmean by that?”

She nods, trying to seem careless and not like her heart ispounding in her throat. “What it sounds like. I’ll know before my next birthday.”

“Are you saying that you’ve…”

She smirks. “Not yet. But I will.”

She likes getting Nathaniel caught off guard, the way hisexpressions contort and how he tries to recompose himself afterwards. She usedto fluster him so easily, after their initial animosity had turned towards a friendlieracademic rivalry; he’s gotten used to her, but she can still do it, and she isconfident that announcing her intentions to become a teenage Animagus is morethan certain to provoke a reaction.

“Wow, that’s…”

“Amazing? Intense?” she supplies helpfully.

“A lot. That’s a lot of work for something that might beultimately pointless.”

The anticipation that had her floating so high abruptly turnsto lead, threatening to drag her down. But where there might have been mortificationwith anyone else, indignance flares up instead.

“What do you mean by pointless?” she demands,suddenly defensive to cover up her disappointment. She had been wanting areaction like the first time she successfully Vanished her raven and he hadlooked at her with such frank admiration. “There have only been sevenregistered Animagus this century. I would be among the best. What’s pointlessabout that?”

She can tell that she’s getting riled up, and she stops andcloses her eyes, taking two deep, slow breaths—after the Josh drama last year,she’s been working on monitoring herself, how she strikes out when she’s hurt.When she feels sufficiently calm and opens her eyes, Nathaniel is still sittingacross the table, concerned, trepidatious, but waiting for her.

Some of her irritation dissipates at the sight; she coughsand rolls out her shoulders self-consciously. “Sorry. That was a bit much.”

“No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“What did you mean, then?” She tries to sound curious anddisaffected, but does not succeed, if Nathaniel’s wince is any indication.

“I misspoke. It would be impressive,” says Nathanielslowly, cautiously. “But is it really practical?”

“Explain.” She means to sound commanding, not petulant, butit comes out in enough of a snarl that Nathaniel holds up his hands, palmsforward, to show he means no harm, that he has no means of defense if shedecides to hex him.

(Which is silly, she would never hex him. Tackle him downthe stairs towards the Great Hall, maybe. Or send him a Howler. But nothexing.)

“Rebecca,” he says, and a tiny part of her softens at howcarefully he says her name. “You’re definitely smart enough to get it right. That’snot a question.”

She can feel herself softening further, an additionalflicker of warmth in her chest at the compliment, but has no time to enjoy itbefore he continues, “But the process requires really precise conditions that onlyoccur by chance—you can’t exactly conjure your own lightning storm.”

“Watch me,” Rebecca mutters, but without heat. She slouchesback down in her seat, crossing her arms and not breaking eye contact. “Whatelse do you have?”

“Right.” Nathaniel still looks a little ill-at-ease, but thatnever stopped him from delivering a lecture before and it isn’t stopping himnow. “If you turn into something…unusual, you’re more likely to get caught,especially if you don’t want to get registered—”

“You think I would be something unusual?”

“Not the point. Besides, we need to focus on our NEWTS. Doyou really want to undergo a painful, highly dangerous transformation duringexams? What if you get stuck without thumbs?”

Rebecca lets out an involuntary snort of laughter. IgnoringNathaniel’s grin, she says, “That’s your worst-case scenario, that I can’ttake my exams? Please. Becoming a fully-fledged Animagus would totally countas a practical demonstration of my magical capabilities.”

“Again, not the point,” says Nathaniel tartly.

“Well, my point is that I wouldn’t do this if I wasn’tcompletely sure I could succeed. I thought you would be into that, because it’sall daring and individualistic and a challenge. Always reaching, right? Isn’tthat what you like to say?”

Nathaniel narrows his eyes at her use of his words againsthim, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s a risk, and not acalculated risk. What did your girl mob say about it?”

“Conceptually, they found it very interesting,” says Rebecca,a little too casually, and knowing it, hating how Nathaniel knows her wellenough that his eyebrows climb high up his forehead again at her reply.

“Conceptually?” he prompts.

“It was the best way to frame it,” she says quickly, rushingto get ahead of his objections. “Look, if they knew I was serious, Valenciawould just start freaking out about all of the laws and regulations I would bebreaking, and Heather might not say anything but she would give me that lookthat she gets sometimes and, really, I’ve thought this through, I don’t needany of that. So, no, I haven’t told anyone else. Just you.”

She only feels a little guilty when Nathaniel straightens upin his seat.

“Why me, then?” he asks, too carelessly for it to be natural.

“Well, like you said, it’s a very precise process, so I needsomeone who likes that sort of thing – exact quantities and followinginstructions to the letter—just to make sure that I don’t end up without mythumbs. And, logically, that means you.”

She internally cringes at how thickly she’s laying it on, almostlike desperation, but she comforts herself that it is, at least, true. Shetrusts Nathaniel to help her carry this out, if he so chooses—she wouldn’t haveasked him otherwise.

Nathaniel just looks at her for a long moment, a familiarmixture of exasperation and fascination across his features, like he can’tbelieve what he’s hearing. It used to make her feel self-conscious, but thesedays she knows how he thinks – the fascination usually wins out. For all of hisown obsessive tendencies and demands for perfection, she has never felt like hewanted her to fail, and she thinks (hopes) that this time will be no different.

“Very well,” he says at last, holding out his hand. “You’reon.”

Her heart lifts; she knew he wouldn’t let her down.

“I don’t need your challenge,” she says. “But thank you.”

They shake, and the prickle of electricity that shoots upthrough her arm and settles deep in her stomach has nothing to do with theanticipation of the challenge. It doesn’t quite make up for the reaction shedidn’t get, that she was hoping for, but it comes more than close enough.

Her homework planner chirps a five-minute reminder.

“Time’s up. When do you have Quidditch practice again?” she says,tilting her head so that she’s looking up at him from under her eyelashes.

“Not until six,” Nathaniel says, his voice thick, sending apleasant shiver up her spine that has nothing to do with the draft.

“All right.” She claps the book in front of her shut, tryingnot to seem too eager. “Walk me to the dormitory?”

~

“Have you noticed that this closet isn’t here most of thetime?”

“That’s what you want to talk about right now? Really?”Rebecca asks, as she shoves Nathaniel inside, quickly following and turning thelatch behind them.

Rebecca does, in fact, know that the closet isn’t usually inthis corridor; she’s done her research on the subject. And as a Room ofRequirement, since all they require is a tiny space with the door that locks,the door will stay locked, Alohomora or not. She sloughs off her bookbag and Nathaniel’s hands are already settling at her waist, fingers splayedwide before curling in, hooked in the waistline of her skirt. She laughs when hespins her around and presses her back against the sturdy door.

“You’re in a hurry,” she teases, not waiting for his answerbefore reaching up and tugging him down by the back of his neck to kiss him.His fingers flex in, one hand sliding low around her back and the other comingup and curling into her hair, shifting to get a better angle, while her handstighten in the crest of his hair and curve around the back of his neck, workingtheir way under his collar.

It’s a familiar motion by now, but it still feels new, asnew as every other spell she learns. She knows it’s the same for him, but inthe other direction: Nathaniel grew up in the Wizarding World, a long line oftraditions behind him and stretching before him, very few of the spells theylearn are unfamiliar to him, but he always touches her like he can’t quitebelieve she exists.

It’s not something she can admit to him, though, not withoutgoing against her own pride. She does like him, terrible awful Slytherin thathe is, and she’s made her peace with that, but anything more would get messy.Besides, he’s made his stance on relationships very clear over the last fewyears: no interest whatsoever. And after the spectacular disasters that wereher relationships with Josh and Greg, respectively, that is fine with Rebecca.Studying with Nathaniel is intellectually stimulating and kissing him in closetsstimulates her in other ways, and that’s all she needs right now, really.

Although, as willing as Nathaniel is to follow her lead mostof the time, he can be annoyingly contrary at times. Like right now, when sheonly wants him as close as possible, her arms tangling around him like she’smistletoe and he’s the tree, he abruptly pulls back. She lets out a whine and triesto tug him back down to her, but for once he resists.

“Why do you want to become an Animagus?”

Of course he asks that now, right when she’s no longer inthe mood to answer it.

“You couldn’t have asked me that in the library?” shemutters, arching her back so that she presses closer into him. A verysatisfying groan claws its way out of his throat, and he mock-glowers down hisnose at her. She smirks, unrepentant.

“And risk Mrs Hernandez overhearing?” he asks. “You don’tthink that wouldn’t get back to the Ministry?”

It’s not a weightless concern; Rebecca suspects Secret Earsare stashed around the stacks so that the librarian can better terrifymisbehaving students by enchanting books to beat them over the head for anypotential violation of library policy. But Rebecca isn’t interested in thatright now, going back up on her toes to nip at Nathaniel’s throat where it isexposed over his collar, the hand around the back of his neck sliding around tothe knot of his tie, starting to work it loose. He groans again, but still leansaway, thwarting her yet again, and this time his hands cup the back of her head,which makes eye contact impossible to avoid.

“Seriously, why?” he asks,his voice low in a way that on any other day would have her shiveringpleasantly, but the question is earnest, and enough to give Rebecca pause.

Nathaniel is a wizard born and bred, and for everything elsethey have in common; he has never known a world without magic, and he cannotpossibly understand her hunger for it.

She looks down and stares hard at his sweater, running herhand thoughtfully across the material, smiling when he twitches inadvertently.She has ways of distracting him, the way she distracts others, the way shedistracted Josh Chan while she was trying to figure out how to be his dreamgirl, the way she distracted her mother from prying too closely into her lifeat Hogwarts by hinting at means to restore youth, even if those attempts neverworked for very long. Even though she was so eager to tell him before, now itseems silly – pointless, even. Nathaniel grew up in the wizarding world, afterall; he would never understand her hunger for it. It was better that he hadn’tasked her before; she doesn’t know why she wanted him to in the first place.

But then the truth unsticks from the back of her throat,some internal force overwhelmed by the feeling of his hands around the back ofher skull and the open questions compelling forward an answer that is true.

“Remember those books I showed you?” she finds herselfsaying. “The ones I used to read as a kid?”

“The ones with that totally incoherent magic system?” heasks, forehead wrinkling, and she stamps down the urge to reach up and smooth themaway with her thumbs and swats him gently on the chest instead.

“Says the guy who read the whole series in a week,” sheteases, aiming for levity. “Well, it’s a series about transformation, right?And, in the Muggle world, the most unambiguously magical thing that you can dois change yourself and do it at your choosing. Right?”

“If you say so,” says Nathaniel doubtfully.

“And people say that the animal you turn into—that sayssomething about who you really are, right? That would be cool. Plus, again, it’sa challenging piece of magic and it would prove that I’m a witch of substanceto everyone – Morgan Le Fay was an Animagus, right? It’s big and dramatic andit’ll prove to her that—”

“That what?” Nathaniel prompts, his voice soft.

“That I’m powerful. That I’m a true witch.”

“Who says you aren’t?”

When she hesitates before answering a second too long,understanding flashes across his face.

“Oh. That.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re still worried about not belonging here?” he asks,frustration that has nothing to do with her hands or her teeth slippingthrough.

Rebecca shrugs uncomfortably, hands fisting in the materialof his sweater, as much of a comfort as to remind herself not to panic, not tolook off into the future. It’s another thing he just has never understood, shereminds herself, to hold herself back. Nathaniel has never known a worldwithout magic. He doesn’t know what it’s like to not see it.

To transform at will is proof that you have control overyourself and no one else can take it away from you. When Rebecca first learnedabout Metamorphmagi, she spent days aflame with jealousy, at the idea thatthere were witches who existed with such a perfect ability to transform into whoeverthey wanted to be. But of course, it couldn’t be learned, it had to be borninto. Even magic could be unfair. But still, there are so many spells thatwould reveal more things to her about herself, if she could just read theirmeanings right. Maybe if she had been born into magic she would understand, butshe wasn’t, so she had to study herself into it instead, take the risks that mostpeople don’t have to.

“There’s a world without magic in it,” she finds herselfsaying. “When I’m not here, I’m stuck there, stuck in Scarsdale, and it feelslike none of this was ever real, because it’s impossible to feel magical whenNaomi Bunch is yelling at you about finding a husband and trying to sneaklaxatives into your food. She’s still freaking out about how she’s going toexplain Hogwarts on my college applications, because, you know, she can’t haveher already-delinquent daughter miss Harvard.”

“But you won’t need that,” he points out, in what probablyseems to be reasonable counterpoint, his thumbs ghosting over her temple.

She gives him a weak smile. “Try telling her that.”

“You’re a witch,” he says firmly. “She can’t change that.”

Intellectually, Rebecca knows that. She has potion recipesmemorized by heart, can understand Transfiguration formulas perfectly with anight of concentrated study. Hell, she can physically manifest her physicalbody in another location near-instantaneously, as proven by her flawless Apparitiontest.

But it always feels like she’s missing something more. Thatshe can’t just be a witch, not if she wants to stay. It’s how she felt chasingJosh Chan, that here was someone who melded both worlds so perfectly, embodiedthem both so effortlessly. Josh never worried that one day he might leave thewizarding world and, upon his return, find that it closed itself to him, and shehad wanted that so badly for herself that it nearly led to both their destruction.

“Unless I am thebest, I have no reason to be here,” she whispers.

She feels, rather than sees his exhale.

“For a smart person, you say really weird things sometimes,”he says. She laughs shakily.

“You think so?” she whispers, desperate to hear hisreasoning. She stares hard at the prefect badge pinned just above his breast,the enamel still new and unmarked and the only real difference from hers isthat it is green, not red. It’s strange; for all of the fights they have hadover the years, for all that she knows that he finds the Muggle world completelyincomprehensible, she has always felt he understands, fundamentally, what she islooking for at Hogwarts. That he is looking for the same thing, using the samemethods, even if he won’t admit it.

Nathaniel looks at her, blue eyes blown dark, lips red andkiss-bitten and slightly parted. He blinks and shakes his head, refocusing.

“I don’t know what it means for you, but…I can’t imagineHogwarts without you,” he says at last, and the sincerity of it sends tendrilsof what can only be elation, white-gold and jittery, coursing through herveins, unfurling at her fingertips and down to her toes.

“It’s good to hear you say it,” she says.

But she’s already promised herself—don’t mix up boys andmagic again, don’t confuse cause and effect, so when she brings her hands up tocup his jaw in turn it’s an unspoken gratitude, but the next words out of hermouth pivot them smoothly away from such sentiments.

“But, remember, this is the last time we can do this.”

“What?”

Rebecca grins at his bafflement, suddenly amused, and smoothsher hands down the front of his robes, more conciliatory than arousing. “Comeon, you’ve read the same books I have – part of the process means that I haveto carry a mandrake leaf under my tongue for a month. Can’t take it out. So,uh, all of this kissing and certain…other activities will have to be on hold.”

The intensity, the uncomfortable intimacy of the momentabruptly shifts into something more familiar as Nathaniel heaves a long sigh,put-out, but not particularly troubled.

“I mean, we could work around that,” he says.

“We could,” she hums in agreement. “But I just thought youshould know what you’re getting into.”

“Of course,” he agrees. “It just means that we better notwaste our time today.”

“Please,” she says, going on her toes again to kiss himproperly, relief at having an ally overpowering the trepidation that whateverdelicate balance exists between them is not sustainable, too easy to transforminto something else without a chance of going back.

[laufie]

here’s a fun story about a creepy dude/stalker i had. it was a strange situation at the time, and i realize in hindsight i should have been much more scared, but it’s been over 10 years so i can just laugh about it now. it doesn’t describe anything traumatic or graphic, but it’s quite eerie.

anyway, i was about 15 or 16 years old at the time, and it had been just over a year since i moved to canada from ukraine. i still used vk (russian equivalent of facebook) frequently to chat with friends, and had an inside joke in my bio about taking LSD. i wasn’t actually taking anything, as i said it was an inside joke.

out of nowhere, this russian dude sends me a pm about how if im really taking LSD i should be able to name some specific formula or dosage or something. i explained to him that it was an inside joke and i know next to nothing about the drug itself, and he laughed it off. we started talking because i noticed it said on his profile that he currently lived in new york, which was a place i’ve always dreamt of visiting. we ended up talking every day about random things, mostly his love of new york and the array of recreational drugs he does.

he didn’t seem dangerous. he never talked about heavy drugs like heroin or meth, and was heavily against them. he was russian of course, as he was in new york only temporarily, so i felt a sense of connection to him, since i was still overcoming the cultural shock of moving to canada. to my mind at that age he didn’t seem like he had any bad motive. he didn’t ask especially prying questions, he was always nice and well-spoken, and enjoyed philosophical discussion. he gave off a vibe of a trustworthy person, which is a note of positivity that would have persisted throughout this whole story...

had he not been 7 years older than me. an important detail that slipped through the cracks at the time - he was 22 when i was 15. i knew he was more mature than me, but as far as i remember, i never actually got to find out his age back then. in hindsight of course, aside from the glaring age difference, he did give off red flags. calling me much more mature than other girls my age was perhaps the most glaring one. at the time. and of course, the constant glorification of drugs.

mind you, this was more than 10 years ago. the internet was a different place at the time. there was no tumblr or twitter or adults that grew up using the internet to tell me to be careful as a minor. people did whatever they wanted to and got away with it. so naturally, i didn’t catch any of the red flags, neither was i even on the lookout for them in the first place.

skip forward nearly a year, my mom knows a lot about this guy, since i’m quite open with her about, well, everything. my mom has always been my best friend. that summer we were planning a 3 month long trip home, to ukraine. him and i thought it would be cool to met up, since by now he was back home in russia. for reference, ukraine is to the far left side of russia, whereas this guy lived on the polar opposite side, on a piece of russian land that is right above japan. he would have to fly across the entire russia to see me. russia. you know, that massive thing? he was perfectly fine with it. i convinced my mom to let me meet him, and she said only if he stays at our place. naturally.

he came for only a couple days. our apartment back home is quite small so with my mom and constant family guests, there was always a pair of eyes on him. it got a little bit strange eventually. he was touchy, but not in an inappropriate way at all. i’m sure it’s not due to his personal decency, and rather because he would most definitely get caught. he would try to hold my hand, or brush my hair off my face, pat my head. things like that. it didn’t go beyond that. but to me, at the time, it was a grown adult man doing it to me, which gave me an unsettling anxious feeling.

on his last day he wanted to go out because he wanted me to try a drug that he had been talking about the entire time i’ve known him. i would prefer not to go into what it is, but it has a heavy hallucinogenic effect that lasts for a very, very long time. naturally he told my mom he just wanted me to show him around, and i was in on the lie. i was curious. my mom was always very strict with coming back home right on time, so we promised her we will be home by 10 pm.

we went out at around 5. and it lasted longer than he promised. way longer. we came home at 3 am. despite the hallucinations being quite heavy and mind-boggling, the effect of the drug didn’t make me feel “out of it”. my perception of time and space was obviously very skewed, but i knew who i was and where i was, and what was happening around me. he didn’t try anything. there wasn’t even as much as an attempt. except, well, when i realized what time it was i rushed home so fast that i was not going to stop for anything. so i’m not sure. maybe the night wasn’t over in his mind yet, but it was in mine. i felt bad for my poor mother who had been worried sick since 10 pm. it was pitch black outside so i went home through a well-lit road that has a lot of cars. now that i think about it, i may have unintentionally saved myself from things getting worse.

i only stopped when we were outside my apartment, because i wanted to focus as much as i could before going in. he sat down on the bench and beckoned me to sit next to him. and he kissed me. i dont remember how exactly it happened but it just kind of did. i went along with it and didn’t say anything after, i went inside the apartment building like nothing happened. it was odd. i didn’t know what it meant, but i also didn’t care, because i wanted to see my mom as soon as i could, ad it was the only thing on my mind.

one look in my eyes and she knew everything. she told me to go to bed. i don’t know what she told him. i’m not sure she said anything. the next morning she asked me if anything happened. i assured her that i was safe. and then he was gone. she didn’t say anything to him. she just dropped him off to make sure he actually left.

after that we didn’t really talk nearly as much. we tried to keep in contact but honestly, i wasn’t as drawn to him anymore. eventually, out of nowhere, he posted some really mean and rude comments under a bunch of my pictures, and i ended up deleting him.

now for the creepiest part. nearly 4 years later we plan another trip to ukraine to visit family. i have some medical conditions with my spine that i needed to get very uncomfortable and painful massages for. my health is one of the main reasons why we took trips back home often. one day about a week or so into my trip i was leaving my apartment to get into a taxi to go to one of those massage appointments. i exit the building and there he was. sitting on the bench and just looking at me. 4 years later. not a word. across russia.

even though it was bright afternoon and a lot of people were out, i was overcome with dread. i awkwardly told him “sorry, i have to go somewhere” and rushed to get into the taxi. he didn’t say anything, just kept looking. on my way back from the massage i called one of my close old friends that worked in the UKR special forces. my mom wasn’t home and i did not feel safe returning. he picked me up and drove me home, and came in with me, all the way into the apartment, the guy wasn’t there anymore. i made my friend coffee and told him about this guy. he promised to drive by once in a while to make sure he isnt hanging out here at odd hours.

later that day at around 8 pm i got a text from an unknown number. “so, are you scared of me now?”.

i closed all my blinds and curtains, locked both entrance doors, and told my female friends not to come visit me, because he knew their faces. yes, i was scared. i was really scared. he didnt say a word to me in 4 years, somehow found out about my trip and just showed up. i wasn’t sure if i wanted to cry or scream. i knew i had to get rid of him somehow. so i responded, making up a story about being really sick and needing constant treatment, and that i made plans with all my friends to leave tonight to go to another city for 3 weeks.

he was angry with me and very upset. he expected a happy reunion i guess. i was very polite to him and apologized, saying i felt bad he traveled all this way only to be told this. he started writing really cryptic things. “i know a secret how to cure any illness of yours, you don’t need doctors, it’s like a code, you plug it in and you become anything”. “i came here to cure you because you’re the only person it will work on”. “i went to your page to ask your friends if your plans are true, but you have them hidden. why don’t you trust me anymore?”

among this he called me. over and over. between every message, a missed call i refused to pick up. eventually i broke down and asked him why is he acting like this. to which he said “because you are the only woman in the world i will ever be able to love this much”. i told him i was with someone and have been for 2 years, and to leave me alone. after a handful more cryptic messages, he stopped for a while. and ended it in a plea to forgive him. i didn’t respond to anything beyond the confession.

thankfully i had no contact with him since then, and as far as i know there have been no attempts from him. however, i don’t use russian social media anymore, and none of them are linked to any of my active “american” accounts, so to speak. so there is no way for him to find me. if you ever wondered why i never make my real name public and always go under aliases, this is largely why.

[thetimeoftomorrow]

Rant on VLD

Voltron is disappointing because everything is rushed and the result is a fucked up plot and questionable character developments. They could have dragged it out longer, in fact would anyone have complained? If every single character received a season just to focus on their growth, everyone would have been fucking happy. Like production would definitely be happy I mean more seasons mean more money. If they want to argue about pay and working hours in the studios that's another thing that should be settled within so don't bring it into this argument that touches on their script writing.

VLD fans would have gladly continued the series just to watch each character get their screen time, receive proper development and have active representation. This isn't about ships, like I personally ship Klance but that's not the reason why I'm upset. I'm upset because Voltron had all the potential in the world to educate people and normalize issues such as disabilities/LGBTQ/mental illness etc. To be so much more like they said they would be. That's a whole new other area I don't want to delve into considering what they said/promised so let's just focus on the production of Voltron.

Like the eight fucking seasons. You think eight seasons are enough to give accurate/proper character development? If you count main protagonists ie the paladins, you already have six of them, not counting supporting characters and antagonists. Each of the character has a history, a present and future timeline. You probably need several episodes to lay out their past, show how it gave them their current personality, show how events they go through in the present affects them, and then how it changes their future. And that's just the character themselves, not counting the ripple effect in their social circle ie friends, lovers, families etc. How the hell would eight seasons even be enough for character development (considering the depth they're trying to go for) when there are so many characters with different stories and personalities? If eight seasons isn't even enough for character development, how the hell is it going to be enough for the overall plot; let alone more sub-plots that hint to the major plot?? There's so much to fucking touch on just the protagonists I can't even-

Shiro with his PTSD itself is already such a huge fucking thing that could have taken up one entire season. Who the fuck goes through torture/experimentation, see their friends/comrades get dragged away/killed, be forced to fight and kill monsters + innocent (maybe) civilians for sport in a gladiator ring, and be able to walk around without being triggered? You're telling me Takashi Shirogane would not flinch when he sees his metal arm glow? That Takashi Shirogane would not back away when he hears the whirring sound of a pod because it reminds him of when the druids are preparing to inject him with more quintessence and painful shit? That Takashi Shirogane will see a giant fucking space craft filled with aliens who were complicit in his torture/abuse and keep a cool head/decide: cool imma fly up there with a bunch of underage teenagers and whoop their ass in an alien lion space ship to protect a planet that left me to die, lied to all my friends and family about my death, tarnished my name (a big thing for the Japanese which hah was never fucking touched on) plus strapped me down after I crash landed to conduct tests instead of rushing for medics?

Takashi Shirogane, as a proper character with the actual proper fucking memories, would not have survived ANY war in Voltron just based off his PTSD alone. And it's not like his PTSD is light because when the fuck is there a PTSD that's light? There could have been a whole segment on the team learning what triggers Shiro and how to better help him (which links back into the real world on how you treat veterans/people with PTSD), could have built better teamwork, shown what a positive supportive system looks like, educate on how one should seek help or react but no. It couldn't be done because there are only eight fucking seasons and this is just one aspect of Shiro as a character. What about his Japanese lineage? What about Adam which the creators openly promised/said was his boyfriend? This whole fucking thing is blank and that's just for one character!! ONE.

What about Allura dealing with her xenophobia towards Keith being a half galra (like did no one realise if you just made it all about race it literally is her being racist and judging someone based off their race instead of how they were brought up as a person)? What about Lotor and his problematic relationship with his father (Zarkon basically tried to kill his son because Lotor wouldn't listen to him - parental abuse?), his exile and his journey? What about Lance and his issue with being the fifth wheel, of not being good enough or likeable enough no matter how hard he tries aka self-esteem/insecurities? What about Pidge and the bullying she suffered for being a nerd, exploring how it made it difficult for her to connect with people, relating it back to real life on how people get bullied for being smart/nerdy and how it's somehow still a shameful thing to be "too" academically inclined? What about Hunk and his anxiety issues/worries that he voiced but were brushed off, just like how some people are ignored on a daily basis? What about Keith and his entire process of dealing with losing his father, losing Shiro; touching on the healthy way to truly cope with loss and how to help people who are suffering? (There's still so much more like the whole fucking LGBTQ part but let's not go there yet)

And these are just the fucking main six. We haven't even gotten to all the others like Kolivan, Lotor, Coran, Romelle, Shay etc. There was so much in terms of just educating people that this show completely missed. And yes, the fucking point is that it should have been shown on Voltron because Voltron is a children's show. It is meant to educate children, and teach them things that society doesn't like to openly discuss or even mention.

How many fucking parents would sit their child down and talk about mental illness or let alone teach their kids how to help/support these people, when most of the time they themselves don't even know how? And children are known to mirror: they see a character being mean and they learn it's wrong because that character learns from their mistake and apologises. That's the whole fucking point (and if you come swinging with the whole if the characters are gay then the child will become gay cause they mirror: news flash bitch what they're mirroring is the concept of love, not a sexuality. Character falls in love with other character because they make each other stronger. Child mirrors and wants to fall in love with someone who helps both become stronger NOT with a particular gender. Not that fucking difficult to understand people).

In summary, I am not angry about ships; why would I give a fuck about the ships? Like YES they're amazing and it'll be cool if it was canon but not all ships are going to sail. That's why fandom writers/artists exist. You can create the world you wish to have, and bring life to whatever ship you support. Besides, most people just want them to be happy - the show could literally have an open end with the characters as platonic friends ie the future is up for the fans to decide/create.

What is unforgivable is that they took a show that not only had the potential to break so many stereotypical barriers, but could educate people on respect, promote awareness/love, and turned it into a work that has zero consistency (as of S7), lack of proper character development, and nothing but another money making project.

So yes, that's why I'm angry. I'm angry because no amount of things that they can squeeze in Season 8 will ever fix it/make it the grand finale it could have been. Because it ends in Season 8 and that's why the show is already beyond saving.

They destroyed what could have been a revolution.

[paharvey99]

No Waitrose October 7: Days 30-31

Day 30

Friday – and the penultimate day of No Waitrose October. Also my nephew’s birthday, so when the four year-old I live with got up she was bundled in front of my phone to record a happy birthday video message. She’s done so many of these that she’s become an accomplished singer of Happy Birthday; I sent it to the family WhatsApp and my younger sister complimented her dramatic pauses and use of vibrato.

I’d bought my nephew some Minecraft Lego (Minecraft is one of those things where I’m not too sure what it is but we’re past the point where I feel comfortable asking. This is not a plea for anyone to tell me what Minecraft is, by the way), and I also wanted to get him something stupid and annoying, because he’s eight, so I got him a voice changer shaped like a mini red megaphone.

A couple of weeks back when I was buying all this on the internet I had thought it would be amusing to get him a retail-size box of chocolate bars, like 24 Bountys or something. He very nearly got 20 white chocolate Lion bars, but then I realised that maybe he didn’t even like white chocolate Lion bars, so I bought him a big Cadbury’s selection box type thing. I still maintain that a box of 20 white chocolate Lion bars is a fantastic present, I’m going to definitely buy one for someone for Christmas.

After the happy birthday message I did the nursery run and came home and did a load of work, had last night’s Sichuan pork dumpling filling noodles for lunch, more work, nursery run, and a nip into M&S Food on the way home.

You’ve probably noticed this month that I have been going to M&S Food quite a lot, and from the outside it might look like I’ve just replaced Waitrose with M&S Food and carried on as usual. However, this isn’t quite right. I will regularly do a big main shop in Waitrose, whereas I can’t bring myself to do that in M&S Food, which remains solely for “bits”. I bought some milk and something for tea, which turned out to be some trout in watercress sauce that was down from six quid to 90 pence. I knew the person I live with would tell me off later for giving her a ready meal for tea, but with a saving of more than a fiver I couldn’t leave it there.

By the time we got home my nephew had received his birthday message and presents and there was even a video of him using the voice changer thingy, which did seem to be as stupid and annoying as I’d hoped. This reminds me – the voice changer present was vaguely inspired by the book Angelica Sprocket’s Pockets by Quentin Blake. The title character has a range of unlikely items in her pockets, like trees and elephants and a kitchen sink and so forth. Spoiler alert: that’s the entire plot of the book. One of the things she has in her pockets is a selection of motor horns that go PAR-HURR and BEEEP BEEP, and I realised that a motor horn that goes PAR-HURR and BEEEP BEEP would be a fantastic thing to receive as a present. However, I chickened out of buying one for my nephew and scaled it down to the mini-megaphone voice changer. Maybe when he’s older.

I roasted some potatoes, courgettes, onions and a yellow pepper in chicken stock to go with the trout, I used a lot of stock and the vegetables ended up a soft, tasty mess, I was very pleased with them. As predicted, the person I live with expressed disapproval of the trout, saying that while it tasted nice she’d rather not eat a bought sauce. I know what she means; it may have been a cheap and tasty option, but I need to protect my brand better.

Just as we were going to bed I went to post a link to a previous blog on Twitter and noticed that the government had leaked news about a new national lockdown to the papers. I flicked through a few tweets and everyone was furious with the government for doing this, and I ended up furious as well. Then I wished I hadn’t looked at Twitter, as I was having a nice evening and all of a sudden I was furious.

It made me think, actually, that the government must be really pleased with the whole Twitter situation. Because really, they do abhorrent stuff, everyone on Twitter gets furious and then literally nothing happens. Boris Johnson is not quaking in his boots because a 90s comedian has got 33,000 retweets, no matter how incisive the skewering. He doesn’t even know it’s happened. Dominic Cummings is not rushing about going “Twitter is furious, what can we DO?”. He’s perfectly happy that he’s upset a bunch of lefties and they’re sitting about frothing in their own anger and doing absolutely nothing meaningful about it. No one is rustling up an angry mob with pitchforks and flaming torches, no one’s even writing to their MP. You want to change stuff, you’ve got to get up and do stuff; it’s the only way. Not me though, I’m too busy.

After that I calmed down and went to bed.

Didn’t go to Waitrose.

Day 31

As ever, Halloween marks the final day of No Waitrose October. I’m fairly sure I complain about Halloween every year, so I won’t bore you with it again, just know that I still don’t like anything about it.

The four year-old I live with and I got up and had breakfast while the other person I live with stayed in bed. After a while I took the person I live with through a cup of tea and complained about the new lockdown. The person I live with hadn’t checked Twitter last night and didn’t know about it, so I then felt a bit bad for waking her up with miserable news.

The weather was miserable too, not much hope of going out for a walk or anything, so we stayed in and pottered about all morning doing weird bits of tidying and video calls with family and stuff.

We made the unicorn Angel Delight that we bought in the week. I had to whip up three different bowls of gloop and assemble them accordingly, it was quite time-consuming. They did look amazing though, the kind of dessert that you see on fairytale tables laden with goodies. I put a picture of them on Instagram and we put them in the fridge for later.

For lunch I made fishcakes, peas and oven chips and somehow managed to mess up the oven chips. I don’t know what I did wrong, they all stuck to the tray for some reason. Still ate them, obviously. Then we had the unicorn Angel Delight for afters. I don’t know if Angel Delight has changed, or I have changed, or both, but it was pretty terrible. Just the kind of food that isn’t worth eating. None of us ate much of it, hopefully we’ll never have to bother with it again.

After lunch there was a break in the weather and the four year-old I live with was persuaded out of the house on the promise of going to Slimetown. Thankfully this was quickly forgotten and so we just went down to the sea, where the light was amazing but it was a bit windy, so we headed back inland. On the way back we went past City Books, Hove’s liveliest independent bookshop apparently. It reminded me that I wanted to buy Nigella Lawson’s new book, and then I realised that with the lockdown coming I wanted to buy it at an independent bookshop rather than online, support local businesses and all that. I had a look in and thankfully it wasn’t particularly lively inside, or we wouldn’t have gone in. I bought the new Nigella and I also bought a book for the four year-old I live with as a pre-lockdown treat, something called Shark in the Park.

Back at home I started reading the new Nigella, and it appears to be exactly what I want from Nigella right now; a text-heavy cookbook with loads of recipes and ideas. You may have noticed that I’ve been banging on about Nigella a lot this month, well that’s because I think she’s brilliant. People tend to think of her slightly daft tv persona, flouncing about in her big London townhouse eating cheesecake in her dressing gown at midnight or whatever, but when you read her books you realise that’s all for show. She’s actually someone who’s properly obsessed with making and eating delicious food, which is where her interests align with mine. And she’s not precious about it; there is a recipe in her new book - not even a recipe really – for roast chicken served on crisps. Literally, you roast a chicken, cut it up into pieces and serve it on top of a large bowl of crisps. The chicken juices soak into some of the crisps, the ones round the edge stay, well, crisp. I think I actually punched the air when I read this recipe, because really, you know that that is going to be absolutely sodding delicious. Roast chicken and crisps are among my top five foodstuffs of all time, so why on earth had I never thought to combine them before? That’s the genius of Nigella. She’s like Eric Cantona or someone, seeing passes that no one else on the pitch can see. You’d probably need a green salad with it, mind.

I showed the roast chicken and crisps photo to the person I live with and she expressed some reservations. Not sure I’ll get away with roast chicken and crisps any time soon.

After more reading and pottering and bed-changing and tidying it turned out to be bedtime. I’d had the song Memory from the musical Cats in my head all day, so I put the Barbra Streisand version on for the four year-old I live with on my phone. She didn’t take to it, so I put a related video on, which turned out to be Taylor Swift singing Macavity the Mystery Cat from the ill-fated film adaptation from last year. We have a storybook version of Macavity the Mystery Cat that we read a lot, so the four year-old I live with knows it really well and was very excited to see a video of it.

It hardly needs saying, as everyone said it at the time, but that version of Cats from last year really is very strange indeed, isn’t it? We watched a few videos from it, and it hardly seems credible that anyone thought it was ok to release into the public domain. Somehow it had a magical effect on the four year-old I live with, who fell asleep to Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer or something.

For tea I had made sausage, pumpkin and brussel sprout pasta, all baked in a creamy cheesy sauce, a proper ribsticker of a meal. The pumpkin was a nod to Halloween, even though I hate it (Halloween, not pumpkin).

After tea we watched a film on Netflix called The Trial of the Chicago 7, which we quite enjoyed, a solid 7/10. 

Then we got angry about the government. This new lockdown doesn’t seem like it’s going to be that big a deal for us, we weren’t going to pubs and restaurants anyway. I would like to know if the man coming to fix the hole in the ceiling next Thursday is still allowed to come, and whether the surveyor can still go round to do a report on the house we’re buying, but we’ll just have to wait and see I suppose. Then we went to bed. Another year over.

Didn’t go to Waitrose.

[lebilliam]

111 questions with @imaginationisendless3

001: What is your biggest dream? uhhh. that depends on how you define dream. im gonna go ahead and say that the dream is to be able to wake up and go to the airport and just travel all around and come back home to the same old home at the end of the day

002: What is the bravest thing you've ever done? this q is quite a doozy. i really dont keep track of this kind of stuff

003: Is it hard for you to show your feelings? hell ye

004: What is your dream job? What was your dream job when you were little? when i was little i thought looking at space and being an astronaut would be really cool but now its just being able to travel

005: What is your favorite sound? mechanical keyboard clicking hands down

006: Would you rather be in front of the camera or behind it? wait this q seems familiar but im gonna say in front

007: What do you notice first when you meet a new person? (Both in real and on the internet): what kind of memes they like

008: Is there anybody you *fully* trust?: sure theres a list

009: Do you like / love someone? If yes, who?: there was this cute girl once but i never mustered the courage to really talk to her rip 

010: Have you ever received / sent hate? How do you deal with it?: i flame brian and logan all the time but i dont think that constitutes hate mail. tbh i dont recall an instance of being perturbed by excessive hate

011: What are you going to spend money on next?: food in martinique (or maybe some chacos here)

012: What are three things you never leave your house without?: phone, wallet, jacket

013: What is your favorite place?: ive had a lot of favorite places over the last few years but now that im being asked i cant recall any of them. all my favorite places have this one thing that i dont like about them and thats why i have so many

014: Do you sing and/or dance in front of people? nah not earnestly

015: Have you ever cheated on a test?: have YOU? i say i want to cheat on tests all the time bc itd be so easy but im just too lazy to enact a foolproof cheat strategy

016: What is your current desktop background?: last time it was a bunch of functional groups for Ochem, but now its specific reagents and pathways!

017: How would you describe yourself in 3 words? indecisive, unpredictable, decisive (i thnk)

018: What does make you happy?: honestly?? knowing im appreciated

019: What time were you born? uhh i dont know off the top of my head atm but i can check

020: Do you give second chances? Why? why the fuck NOT? well i say that but all the second chances ive given have been disappointments. trying to find someone to surprise me i guess? xd

021: Name your biggest turn ons and turn offs: serious turn offs are lacking empathy for the struggles of others (i say stop being poor ironically, but there are people who really dont get it which is scary to me). turn ons? Jacinda asked me this and my answer still hasnt changed-- the neck. i ALWAYS go for the jugular

022: When was the last time you hugged someone?: hmmmmm probably last month or so?

023: What is your favorite food? GOD dang it i know i say a lot of things are my favorite but now i cant think of anything. something im always down for is KFC though

024: Do you save money or spend it right away? FUCK i try to save it but money just has a way of leaving my hands

025: Do you have any tattoos? If yes, what are their meanings? If no, would you get any?: id love to get tattoos. sleeves and all those seem really neat but also i know im just rash with decisions like that sometimes

026: Name five things you find beautiful: ooo hair in sunlight, pure moments of unadulterated laughter, crafts that people work on, technology, and mechanical keyboards

027: What is your favorite clothing style? (Both in you and others): lately ive been joking about the CLOUT a lot with champion and supreme branded stuff but its ironic. tbh i like buttonups with nice colors.

028: How do you cheer yourself up? i slid into this girl’s dms with this very question and then i linked her a minecraft song parody so i guess minecraft song parodies and stupid things

029: Do you show affection in public?: i would IF I COULD

030: What is one thing you are looking forward to?: martinique, being refreshed enough to actually care about school bc this last semester was a shitshow

031: Have you ever been to other countries? If yes, where?: france, spain, italy, canada, (japan when i was uber young), vietnam, fircrest

032: What was the last lie you told and why? ill start on this at 2pm. i was still in bed at 2

033: Who are the people you can always turn to? mo, lo

034: Have you ever done drugs? If not, would you ever try them?: it sounds like itd be a cool experience but im also scared all of those horror stories where the drugs were laced with other stuff that turns you into a 4 year old

035: What is your favorite word? i think about the word obsequious a lot but i think my favorite word has to go to discord

036: Do you consider yourself a romantic? sure why not

037: What are 3 objects that are *very* important to you and why?: notes section in my phone ( i write a lot of my thoughts and weird dreams in there), my laptop ( i use it literally every single day), my dice ( bc dnd has been uber helpful to me and its a great pastime)  

038: Have you ever met someone famous? If so, who?: nope! not special

039: What would you like to change, mentally and physically, about yourself? id like to start working out but i say that all the time. id like to be more dedicated to school stuff but honestly its whatever. idk jsut trying to be more confident in myself and smiling more

040: Have you ever won a contest/competition? What for? i won a smash tournament once and i got fourth or third in another one but that was a long time ago

041: What is one illegal thing you would do if there were no consequences? steal, armed robbery. 

042: Who are your favorite fictional characters? borutos dad seems kind of cool, they should make an anime about him or something

043: Do you ever wish you were somebody else? yea i wish i was me but better

044: What is your favorite store to shop at? FUEGO and the runway fashion exchange and idk some other cool store but it doesnt come to mind

045: Do you want to have children one day? How many? How would you name them?: i think about it. having children would be cool but also NOT having kids would be cool

046: How do you cope with stress? How do you vent your anger? i say reee unironically but then it makes me feel better 

047: What do you want for your birthday? honestly? lots of money but idk a new set of dice would be nice ore maybe a new computer

048: Have you ever had an imaginary friend? yea probably

049: Have you ever said "I love you" even though you didn't mean it? in the times ive said it i feel like i have meant it but you can never be too sure

050: What is the best advice anyone has ever given you? starting to write down all your feelings and stuff that happens

051: Do you have any regrets? If yes, what do you regret the most? not taking the opportunity to go to high school/ college early / skipping grades / trying harder on admissions tests

052: Do you find tattoos and/or piercings attractive? theyre pretty neat imo i like them

053: Do you want to get married? What are your views on marriage? marriage is such an old concept but also it seems kind of cool

054: Who are you most comfortable around? tbh its been myself for the last few weeks 

055: What are you wearing right now? What do you wear to bed? i am wearing shorts. i try not to wear too much when i sleep bc i overheat but if i have someone else in bed with me ill wear a thin shirt and shorts

056: When is your birthday? feb 26!

057: What is love to you? love is being able to send memes to each other and being able to go from 2 blobs watching videos to a fancy date and 

058: Are you a jealous person? i can be jealous if i dont trust whatever is happening

059: Would you rather go to a party or stay at home? hmm tbh id probably party if my friends were there or if not id stay at home 

060: How many relationships have you had? quite a few

061: Are you a positive person? sure, i guess ;)

062: What kind of people do you feel attracted to? smart people who are smart but also dumb and cute

063: What is the longest time you've stayed awake? oooowee i think 21 hours or so?

064: Have you ever been told "I don't want to lose you"? yep! proceeded to then lose me!

065: What is your favorite genre when it comes to movies? action comedy

066: Do you collect anything? memories and dust and trinkets

067: In your opinion, what is your best quality? i can make you laugh

068: Have you ever changed for someone?yep! it happens and its sad but it happens

069: What is your idea of a perfect date? a date is the entire day, starting out with waking up next to the person, eating breakfast together, maybe do some errands / work out, netflix and chill, chill, go out for a nice dinner and night out, come back, netflix and chill, chill, go to bed.

070: Are you shy or outgoing? i would love to say im outgoing but idk!

071: In your opinion, what is the secret for a great relationship? surprises everywhere

072: Are you the kind of person who breaks rules? hm im sure i did at some point. maybe i still do?

073: Is it hard for you to trust people? yea it can get a lil hard

074: What does your dream house look like? fat front yard, lots of plants, lots of green grass

075: Do you feel attracted to people your age, younger or older? hmm im at the ripe age of 19 where options younger than me are a lil sketch. idk according to the historia older people have been quality

076: How much have you changed over the past year? a LOT boii

077: Longest friendship you've ever had? hmm about 6 or 7 or 8 years

078: Do you have pets? If not, what animal would you like to have? no pets, id love dogs

079: Are you left or right handed? ambidextrous

080: What talent do you wish you’d been born with? perfect pitch would help a lot with what i like to do

081: Where do you get motivation and inspiration? minecraft parody songs, also seeing professionals doing what they do

082: Do you know how to swim? If yes, when did you learn? yea, i learned when i was in bellingham and then i learned more when i was in kent

083: You are given one wish: What do you wish for? i wish for 100 million dollars with no inflation, no taxes, no debts, no one filing a lawsuit or slandering my name (this is all a part of getting the 100 mil. ive thought about getting money a lot)

084: Do you like to give / receive flowers? What is your favorite flower? i like giving flowers bc i feel like if i receive them,  i dont know what to do. its now ur problem if i get you flowers

085: Would you rather travel to a cold forest or a warm beach? warm beach if its not in the early morning when the sun rises, otherwise, forest

086: What is one thing you can't forgive, that can destroy a friendship or relationship beyond repair? if u kill me i dont think i could get over that

087: What is the last thing you purchased? corsair mouse

088: Have you ever broken someone's heart? Ever gotten your heart broken? yep and yep

089: Have you ever cheated on someone? Ever been cheated on? no and yes

090: Do you believe in soulmates? uhhh its possible. theres 8 billion people on this planet, what are the odds that soulmates DOnt exist

091: Is there anybody you would do absolutely *anything* for? If yes, who? hmmmm not anything, but id do a fair bit for my friends

092: Share three facts about your life.: i like to eat, make friends, and travel/experience other cultures

093: Do you believe in love at first sight? i do, but most of the time it isnt reciprocated ;p

094: Would you date someone who smokes / drinks / does drugs / has a mental illness? yea, i dont see why that would stop me from dating them

095: You are given 15 minutes of fame: What would you do? ask for money

096: How is your dream partner like? shes funny, makes me laugh, smells good, etc

097: Would you rather commit to one person or have several relationships? id rather have several relationships so i know exactly what im looking for in a person.

098: What are some of your hobbies? league, hearthstone, watching people play league and hearthstone, french, etc

099: What kind of person do you want to be? i want to be the cool old person when im old

100: What did you have for breakfast? i had some vietnamese cuisine

101: What is your Top 3 favorite shows? What was your Top 3 favorite shows when you were a kid? the office is something i enjoy, mythbusters, uh scooby doo? idk 

102: What are three places you *really* would like to visit one day? hmmm maybe the trevi fountain, il duomo, totally la sagrada familia 

103: What was your last meal? What was your last beverage? breakfast, water

104: Who is the last person you had a deep conversation with? hmm probably anastasia

105: What is one thing that made you smile today? thinking about martinique

106: Do you like taking photos? If yes, what do you photograph the most?i love taking photos, but i never have subjects so i dont really take photos too often

107: Has anyone ever written a poem or a song dedicated to you? Have you? FHCk man i wish. wait there was a 100 things i like about you and i think about it all the time. i actually have written poems and stuff but tis been a  long time and i dont think my creative juices are back from that yet (but trust me, it was straight fire)

108: Do you remember your dreams? If yes, what was the last dream you remember about?: i remember almost all of my dreams because i always tell someone about them and idk talking helps me remember things 

109: If you could go back in the past, would you change anything? If yes, what? i would start learning things so much earlier and stick with theme

110: If you were given 3 million dollars, what would you do with them? invest 2 mill in the bank, get that monthly interest coming back in the mail, use that mill to pay off all my and my friends debts, live life the way i wished i could when i was little

111: What are a few facts about you that not many people know of? i like learning languages but its not profitable in this day and age i feel

'111 Questions': by Ira V. Simon (priveting)

[consulting-celiac-in-the-tardis]

13 Experience-Based Christmas Gifts for Loved Ones with a Chronic Illness

New blog post! Have friends or family who are living with chronic illness? Want to give them a Christmas gift that they’ll actually use and enjoy? Then this 2017 Holiday Gift Guide is exactly what you need!

In recent years, my family has shifted from giving material goods to experience gifts. Not only do experience gifts mean we often end up enjoying the present together (like with a family vacation), but giving experience gifts can be especially smart when you have loved ones with chronic illness. After all, whether your loved ones have fibromyalgia, celiac disease or another chronic disease, your biggest wish is probably to make coping with chronic illness a little easier. That's where these 13 Christmas gifts come in.

Keep reading to discover what experience gifts may not fit under the tree but definitely belong on this year's Christmas shopping list!

1. A gift card to their favorite massage therapist. 

We all know that stress isn't healthy; in fact, research shows that 43 percent of adults experience health issues related to stress. When you have a chronic illness like fibromyalgia, though, stress can be even more harmful, triggering everything from bad headaches to muscle knots to full-on fibromyalgia flare ups. Keeping all of this in mind, a gift card to your loved one's favorite massage therapist (or a local massage buisness with the highest ratings) is almost guaranteed to trigger a smile on Christmas morning. Who knows? Maybe they'll enjoy their massage so much, you'll be invited to join sometime!

2. “A Get Out of Jail Free” Card

Looking for a cheap DIY Christmas gift that any chronic illness warrior will appreciate? Make them a cute card saying that they can give you (or reference) this card at any time, and you’ll help with whatever they need, no questions asked. If your friend has fibromyalgia, maybe they'll use this card to cancel your epic plans without going into the details of their fibromyalgia flare up. Or, if your loved one has celiac disease like me, maybe this card will be their way of asking you to pick up some safe, gluten free comfort food after they’ve been glutened.

Hopefully, you’re willing to offer this kind of help and support even without a “Get Out of Jail” free card in play. However, giving someone a little reminder that you care and are always willing to help can make Christmas a little more magical. 

3. Cooking classes! 

If you have a friend or family member who recently needed to change their diet for medical reasons, why not give them a helping hand (correction: spatula) with a few cooking classes? Finding cooking classes for some diets can be harder than others. (I’ve only stumbled on a few celiac-safe gluten free cooking classes near me). If you're able to surprise your loved one with a culinary adventure, though, it can be a practical and fun gift. Not to mention that your giftee might thank you by cooking some of the new dishes in his or her repertoire!

4. A Netflix, Hulu or Amazon Prime subscription. 

Okay, okay. This Christmas gift is a material good, but you can’t deny that watching your favorite series (or awesome food-related documentaries like these) from the comfort of your couch is definitely an enjoyable experience. When I’m having a fibromyalgia flare up, being able to rest and distract myself with a good TV show makes the pain a lot easier to deal with. Plus, when I need to cancel epic plans with friends (like hiking to Potato Chip Rock or exploring my favorite gluten free restaurants in San Diego), bingeing my latest TV addiction with my bestie is a decent alternative!

5. A trip to their favorite allergy-friendly bakery, restaurant...or even a distant grocery store!

I’ll admit it. Sometimes my dietary limitations give me a slightly weird definition of fun. For instance, walking through Whole Foods and drooling over their new gluten free options, even if I only buy a couple? Fun! Same with eating out at my favorite gluten free restaurants (see my list here) or stopping by a delicious allergy friendly bakery. 

If your friend or family member living with chronic illness is a similarly dietarily restricted foodie, offering to join them on an edible quest across town might make their day! Heck, I’ve even heard of celiacs driving two hours out of their way to visit Aldi’s and buy some of their gluten free products...and having a blast doing it. So if that’s your loved one’s definition of fun, why not go along for the ride?

Like this post? Then tweet me some love by clicking here: "This #glutenfree #college #celiac shares her top 13 #Christmas experience gifts for loved ones with a #chronicillness. What's your fave experience gift to give or get? http://bit.ly/2AfnkAV"

6. A yoga studio membership. 

Keep in mind that yoga is not everyone’s cup of tea (or, more accurately, kind of stretch), and people living with fibromyalgia or another chronic disease are no exception. If you know that your loved one enjoys and benefits from a regular yoga practice, though, a yoga studio membership or gift card will definitely show that you care.

But what can you do if yoga isn't your loved one's thang? Find out what kind of movement (from Zumba to Pilates to riding the stationary bike at a nearby gym) works for them, and give an experience gift based on their favorite workout routine!

7. A vacation to somewhere that makes their joints happy! 

Does your loved one live somewhere that gets super cold in the winter (hellooooo from Minnesota@) and struggle with even worse joint pain as the temperature drops? Then the ultimate experience gift might be a vacation! Obviously, you can, and should, tailor your gift to your loved one’s taste and your own budget. After all, in some cases, a plane ticket to visit you or other friends/relatives in Hawaii or Arizona during the winter may be just as (or even more) appreciated than a one-way ticket to Cancun for two weeks. Depending on your relationship with the giftee, you could even make this a group vacation that lets a bunch of family members or friends relax, spend extra quality time with one another and warm up. 

8. A loaded self care kit. 

If you want to make sure your loved one is taking proper care of themselves even on bad days, why not give them a gift with all the self care tools they could ever need? Simply fill a box with whatever self care props - from their favorite chocolates and books to a playlist with relaxing music to a card saying “Call me and I’ll bring Chipotle!” - you think your loved one would enjoy. Then, when they do have a fibromyalgia flare up or a no-good-awful-very-bad day, all the comfort and TLC they need is in one place.

9. A donation to a foundation that your loved one holds especially dear.

I can't speak for everyone with a chronic illness, but I can't help but smile whenever I hear of progress being made in celiac disease or fibromyalgia research and I try to do my part to support foundations related to both of those chronic diseases. If there's a foundation that's especially close to your loved one's heart, why not give them a helping hand in supporting it? As a bonus, research has also found that there are numerous health and emotional benefits of giving. In fact, studies report that giving is associated with lower blood pressure, less depression, lower stress, longer lifespans and greater happiness overall. Talk about a win/win/win scenario!

10. A snack or meal prep subscription box. 

Another material present that doubles as an experience gift! Whether your loved one needs to follow a certain diet for their chronic illness (like I eat gluten free for my celiac disease and fibromyalgia pain) or they struggle with having enough time and energy to cook or grocery shop, food subscription boxes can make healthy (and delicious) eating a lot easier. 

Of course, I’d be remiss to not mention my favorite gluten free monthly snack box from Love with Food, and the fact that they’re hosting an awesome holiday sale: LOVE WITH FOOD HOLIDAY SALE: Get a FREE Holiday Box ($25 value) with any 6-month (or longer) plan and SAVE an EXTRA $10 on selected plans. Ends 1/1 (<-- affiliate link). However, there are plenty of amazing monthly food subscription boxes for you to choose from, no matter how or what your loved one enjoys eating. 

11. A part-time maid. 

I don’t know about other fibromyalgia warriors, but when I’m hurting, super tired and dealing with fibro fog (aka, major forgetfulness and brain fatigue), cleaning is the last thing I want to do. If you know your loved one hates cleaning (or that their joints won’t let them do deep cleaning in the bathrooms, kitchen, etc), paying for a part-time maid to visit every so often might be the most epic practical Christmas gift ever! 

12. A “remember to smile” box or binder! 

Similar to a homemade self care box, you can also throw together a memory box or binder full of photos and notes that are guaranteed to make your loved one smile. Research shows that depression is one of the most common complications in people coping with chronic illness. Turn your chronic illness warrior’s smile upside down by reminding them of all the awesome things they’ve already done and accomplished, and how loved they really are. 

How can you make a “Remember to Smile” box or binder? It’s really up to you! If you’re a scrapbooking kind of person, print and paste pictures of your epic friend/family adventures - from past vacations to important accomplishments in your loved one’s life - in a binder, along with little notes of encouragement, reflection and inspiring quotes. Not feeling that artsy? Then just throw a bunch of photos, notes, and trinkets with special memories attached (like the runner's bib from the 5K you ran together or a map of France where you vacationed) in a cute box. Any time your loved one is feeling a little down, they’ll have a box or binder full of smiles to explore!

Like this post? Then tweet me some love by clicking here: "This #glutenfree #college #celiac shares her top 13 #Christmas experience gifts for loved ones with a #chronicillness. What's your fave experience gift to give or get? http://bit.ly/2AfnkAV"

13. Judgement free time with you. 

The biggest (and perhaps even the best) experience gift you can give anyone - not just people with chronic illness - is your time. Write a note saying you’re planning on clearing your schedule every Tuesday night for a long phone call or a visit. Remind your chronic illness warrior that you don’t care if they’re having a good day or a bad one, if they need vent or celebrate small victories. You have their back no matter what, even if you sometimes don’t know what to say or can’t understand what they’re going through. 

Because when you have a chronic illness, knowing that you have friends and family who love you and your chronic disease is better than any present under the tree. 

What's your favorite experience gift that you've received or given? Tell me in the comments!

via Blogger http://ift.tt/2C0GmLT

[survivormalibu]

“I’ll be back in this game VERY soon...” - Darian - Episode 5 (The irony is... he didn’t return.)

And ofc im on a tribe with all the ppl i DIDNT want to be on a tribe with. yippee. i win a challenge for my team then this happens. im just praying i can find a solid footing on this tribe in which i can float along on in peace

colin, tyler f, me, brian? maybe andrew? solid core? mayhaps. let me float in PEACE. end tribe swap culture.

Well, I knew Darian's plan was not going to go as we had hoped, and I am sad to see him go to the resort. But, I can honestly say, I love my new tribe as well! I'm glad I have Zach back, as he and I really connected from being on Escondido together (before we voted him out on his terms). I'm also glad I have Nicholas and Owen, as they are strong players. As for the others, I am looking forward to getting to know them!

Fuck tribe swaps tbh

I hope sitting out of this challenge didn't put a target on my back again. That being said I know I was targeted at the last tribal so who knows.

Y'all really fuckin did that huh. Put me on a tribe with everyone I don't know, I see what y'all are doing. I felt so secure in the brawn tribe and I was in a strong majority alliance and now all I got is........... Carson K. Who ofc saved our asses in the trivia challenge but he's also the person on the brawn tribe I was the least close to. I talked to Tyler F. a little bit when we were in One World at the beginning. But Andrew, Allison, Tyler S, Regan, Brian who??????? Oh well. Hopefully I'm not voted out next. I'm going to bed.

Alright. Round 2 of writing this because it got lost to the internet last time. Alright. Yay!!!! I'm so happy my tribe has slayyyed. Well pescador did. Carson k literally killed the trivia challenge. I'm so glad we had him. Honestly. The dream team would be the five of us (me, Carson k, Carson c, Colin, and Nicholas) I'm really bummed that I didn't make an alliance chat when we were on the same tribe. But I also really do like this new tribe. I think we are going to kick ass. Me Carson c and Nicholas are all together and I think Zach and Casey would vote with us for sure. But I really like Luke, Molly, and Owen. This sucks. But that's how the game goes. But hopefully we just don't lose. I really like these guys and I hope it works out. I'm seriously so worried about Carson k and Colin over there. I really hope that they will find a way to make themselves safe from votes. I need to make the Hpecdor alliance chat!!!! And I want all five of us in it when merge comes. I'm having a really great time playing this season. Next stop, make it to jury! Let's go!!! #honolulutribe #hpecdoralliance  

I really like my sundae so I really hope I can win this one for my tribe since I'm usually not very good at the other challenges. The little flag I made is so cute! It's going to be a good keep sake of he season. Haha. Plus, this tribe is also really sweet and awesome!

So. Disregard that last confessional. I got voted out because TYLER AND BRIAN are SNAKES. But don't you worry about me. Ill be back in this game VERY soon and Ill be changing my strategies when it comes to you boys. I hope my Boo is ok! I love her! and I need her to stay alive in this game. I can't wait to come back and shake everyone up

So heres how my week has been . . . . . That was a list of all of the things said in the resort chat. NOTHING. Im stuck with a bunch of inactive people. Which is fine by me now because I was the only one who made an ice cream sundae. AND I won reward. AND I found a MOTHERFUCKING IDOL. So I'm not even close to out. Im just chilling on the resort. Petting my idol. While y'all bitches get voted out left and right. But lowkey I want off this island bad Like Im missing the action

This tribe swap has the potential to either be really great or absolute hell. I came over with Nicholas and Lily, both of which I was really close to on Pescador. I'm really looking forward to working with them so we all can just make it to the merge. If all the brawns got back together, I feel like we'd have an unstoppable alliance come merge. I'm so glad Regan played that idol because now we know none of the beauties have it. That makes it a lot easier to target them for a safe vote since we cant get blindsided by an idol. Lily was telling me it might be easier to align with the beauties, but if we know they dont have the idols then we should try taking them out. Still, it could be too early to judge this, so I'm not making any deals until i have too.

WHEW so we got a new tribe. I remained on Humaliwo along with Owen and Molly which is GREAT because I connected with the both of them the most on OldHumaliwo so I'm happy about that. My new tribe mates are really cool. I connected with Lily the most because we have a mutual friend but Casey, Zach, Carson and Nicholas are all really cool too. I think we're a strong tribe, I think we have what it takes to win immunity challenges and avoid having to vote anybody out but I guess we'll see!

I'm so proud of myself for actually submitting a decent score. I really hope we pull off the win! Lets go #honolulu #humaliwo #whatever :P

So, I have another idol. Brian found the page, but I finished the maze first and then told him I didn't find anything. The only person who knows about either is Andrew, so here's hoping he doesn't fuck me over. I have the Escondido and Humaliwo idol at this point. So, unless someone found the Pescador idol before it was killed, I have all the idols currently in the game. That's exciting, and a lot of pressure. I'm just glad I have someone close enough to talk it over with so I don't fuck it all up, because I could 300% see myself doing there. I don't think we're winning immunity, but I have Tyler S, Andrew, Brian, and through extension Tyler F. I also think Colin and/or Regan would vote with us. Carson K may be an easy vote unless everyone wants him gone because he literally got 24 on the challenge and I'm shook. Like, I get not knowing, but like, 24? I'm shook. I'm just hoping Humaliwo and Original Escondido can do that thing tbh.

Lowkey pissed that I keep being the only one who volunteers to do things and then we have challenges where more than one person just doesn't submit.

I... I don't know what to say.  I told Ty on call that the only way he'd be safe is if we won, and that I would try and help him if we lost, but I couldn't really... um... say much about his usefulness to the tribe when he submitted 24.  In fact, both Tylers submitted a combined score of 50-something.  I cackled when I saw the results because we shouldn't have won.  Now I just have to hope that Casey goes bye-bye (she didn't submit and tends to submit low scores anyway... plus the advantage she won from the reward) so we don't have to worry about her in this game for awhile.  I just don't want Owen going.  Please.  PLEASE.  He's like the one person I want to work with in this game aside from Allison and Ty, and like... it needs to happen, pretty please. As for Regan... hm... she's a m-e-s-s.  She got upset with me and Ty because we saved her????  GURL, WHAT?!  It honestly doesn't make any sense why she's like, "I'm alone!" but we flipped for her.  We told her not to use her idol either, but she didn't trust us?  Okay, that's a little okay because we coulda been snaking her, but after we didn't... I don't know.  She dumb.  But whatever.  She genuinely confused me, but I'll get over it.  I hope she goes if we go to tribal because fuck her. Finally, some fucking loser got the advantage before I did... with no clues?  Fuck me up!!!  Unless Allison's lying (I did give her the clue before solving the maze), but even if she is, hopefully it doesn't mean my demise.  I trust Allison a ton, and I would consider her probably my second closest ally aside from Ty, but that doesn't mean she necessarily shares the same sentiment.

wow we somehow actually won immunity whew! I def didn't expect it, but I'm happy nonetheless. I was kinda worried about this round tbh Tribe dynamics are still... weird. Regan and Tyler S are pretty inactive, and the only people who like actually respond to me when I message them are Allison and Andrew. I have no idea where I fall into the mix, for all I know I could be at the bottom of the new Escondido totem pole. fuck. I miss my old tribe. I miss the chicken in a bucket alliance :((((

Feeling very anxious about this vote as any vote would go. I really like everyone and feel like everyone helps the teams. I'm currently watching season 1 and I can't remember who said it but someone basically said losing a member of the tribe will not make the tribe stronger but weaker because each person is important. I also feel this way. But someone has to go and I don't want I to be me or Nicholas and Carson so Molly seems like the best choice for us. Molly is a really awesome person and I will be sad to see her go if the plan actually works. It should be me Carson, Nicholas, Casey, and Zach all voting for molly.

THIS VOTE. A MESS. Lily, Nicholas and Zach want to vote Molly. I wanted to vote Casey because if she goes to The Resort and meets us with her bestie Darian then it eliminates the chance of a strong duo being in the main game and being reunited in a merge situation. I talked it over with Owen, my closest ally and he talked to Zach and Casey who apparently wanna vote Lily? Owen/Molly/Zach/Casey are an alliance. Since I don't want to vote against Lily, Owen told Molly to tell me to vote Zach. I'm perf with this becaue I'm not betraying Lily because she could come back from The Resort. My hands are clean. I just pray that these uglies aren't playing me.

IM HONESTLY SCREAMING RIGHT NOW  SO Of course my bitch ass forgets to link the post which like... I respect the host's choice to make the rule and enforce the rule and stuff I just also have never ever ever had to do it before so it's hard when you play games for three years to all of a sudden have to change something you're used to doing without thinking. Tea. ANYWAYS I THIUGHT I didn't have a vote but anyways I was really getting close with Lily  because we have a lot of mutual interests and we are both from Michigan and actually know some of the same people irl?? We really clicked and I love her to death and I wanted so badly to be close with her in the game. So I suggested to her that me Luke her and Carson make a group and pull in Molly and Nicholas since they were on our old tribes to target Zach. He had already been voted out so we know he doesn't have an idol, he's gonna try in the challenges, etc. it made sense like.... honestly that would been so good for them because that's two easy votes right there for the whole tribe!!! BUT THEN TODAY Ashe comes to me saying she wants to vote Molly because 'there are too many brains in the game' And I....? I'm a brain??? Why would you say that? And I gave her numerous reasons WHY it should be one of the others and basically she ended up saying she was gonna vote Molly anyways. I asked if we could compromise, and she said 'I'm sorry'. So instantly like... damn. She also said Zach and Casey were gonna vote Molly already but that didn't stop my gay ass from TRYING. Here's the thing I do not like feeling like I'm helpless??? So I went to zach and casey and I basically like really REALLY exaggerated and told them that lily was pitting us against each other! And that the brawn wanted to keep zach and casey as shields to vote out later and I really played up the fact that they were playing both sides and... and it actually worked. They both talked to Molly. And luke warned me that zach and Nicholas were close so I made sure to make it seem like it was all lily and Carson's doing lmao And zach was sayin all this stuff about how lily and regan know each other irl and I'm like... literally lily lives nowhere near Regan  right but I didn't say that!!! Lol Zach and Casey made a group with me and Molly and after I planted the seed all I had to do was just sit back and watch it grow . I was like 'yeah I'll do anything!!!!' So hopefully they aren't lying and they do vote lily... I'm sorry this has to happen, Lily. And honestly I kind of expect they're lying and it'll be me voted out. But whatever! I was put between a rock and a hard place and I wiggled my ass out of there. Sorry, but if you're not with me, you're against me :) cute!

Honestly Luke, Molly, and Owen should vote me off. I feel horrible. Everyone is so awesome. I hate tribal.

[survivorpacificislandallstars]

Ep. 6 - “I FUCKING HATE TRIBE SWAPS AND RAKIURA” - Gage (Pt. 1)

monty/allison why this isn't the night for a swap nooooooooooooo

Well I certainly learned a few things today. One, being a nice person in Survivor gives you bad things and bad things only. Second, Ashley the Gremlin, know as Ashley G for short, is a snake. Okay fuck being passive aggressive because WHAT THE FUCK???? Who the FUCK did that??? Literally???? So are we just gonna make fake alliances and instantly betray them as soon as we can??? Is that how this game works???? What the fuck! And now I'm stuck again with Ashley!!!! I don't even know if it wa she's decision but I already didn't trust her so fuck it I'll keep on not trusting her. It's a 12 person tribe but I'll try my best to get rid of this snake once and for all. Seriously...of all the people to vote out, Rhea???? For what, avoiding rocks????????????? God damn it I'm playing with a bunch of demons. 

Okay... Might have been wrong... Supposedly, Ashley voted Steffen, and Billy voted Rhea. That's supposedly, because I don't know how much sense that makes because Billy absolutely wanted Steffen out, it looked like. Maybe Ashley is being honest, maybe she's trying to play me. This doesn't stop me from wanting her out, really.... Idk it's too early in the morning to think about this I need to talk to others to clear up what happened. 

Conf #10: What is this NONSENSE a swap with 12 people? you just cant wait for me to DIE CAN YOU.Also a double tribal? fuck this!!! If i die this round ill do the same a rakiura which is ironic bc thats the season we are on right now. Anyways im still with Stevie & Andrew, Billy is here yay so is Sam so whew. I will hopefully be good

Conf #11: The paranoid me has come out and ive kind of come to terms that if I dont win immunity im going home this round! I hate life!!!

Okay so currently this tribe I am on is pretty lit. There were a number of people I myself approached, a few people approached me, and now the only person I haven't talked to is Gabriel. My previous tribe had David, Dan, Samantha, and Andrew. I really like David and definitely wanna work with him for this game. Andrew I am quite indifferent about because in every game we are in together I think things are good between us then confessionals come out and he ALWAYS mentions that he can't trust me so I really don't want to continue on that cycle. Also I have noticed that Andrew rarely does bad in survivor, and there is definitely a method that I need to try and ruin. On this current tribe I am with Steffen. My previous game with him was Hawaii and we all know how that went. I still don't exactly know how this game is going to go. I am leaning more toward not working with him and I don't want him to take it personally. There are just other people here that I have more of a desire to work with that I haven't gotten the chance to actually work with in the past. Speaking of which, me and Billy seem to have reconciled and I think we are both in a civil place with each other and things may work out better here between us. TAR with Jay was pretty good, I like Jay, and I know he close with Mitch whom I worked well with in Hawaii. So them two are an obvious pair for me to work with right now and I am liking it so far. My absolute favorite in this game at this point is Dan. I like talking to him, we both wanna work together, and I think it could be really great. Currently I would say David is my closest ally in this game. That vote where I almost went home instead of Katie I am a bit suspicious of who one of the votes for me were and I heard from someone that David had told them that Katie should have stayed. I don't EXACTLY know what that means but I am being cautious of that. He hasn't yet showed me any real reason to not trust him, but if he wants to do something or work with someone that I don't agree with then I may not feel as bad cutting him. One reason why I am trusting him is so far we are thinking the same. We both think it is currently a good idea to work with Jay and Mitch but to watch out for them because they have a clear bond to each other and with Drew that will be difficult to get between. Hopefully he isn't just using that against me because that would be sad. So here's to hoping that he is legit about all this! The next issue that comes to mind is Sam G. We never explicitly say what we are gonna do when we are in a game together. We never actively work together and we never actively work against each other at this point. We see where the game takes us and go from there. I just don't want anyone to peg us two as a threat for working together. That would be annoying. I really just never know how to approach things with her in terms of working together so only time will tell how this game goes. 

Conf #14: Also these people cant carry on a conversation now i know im one to talk but Van hasnt responded back gabriel hasnt responded back Jay ended with saying "me" like thanks for not continuing anything!

I’m so fucking upset that I’m separated from Ash like you have no idea man we just solidified that we were gonna be loyal af to each other no matter what and now this happens ANYWAY, our trust clusterfuck was separated too. I have Steffen and Billy still, which is nice. I hope that the three of us will stick together. But 3/12 on this new tribe is not majority so I gotta start talking to some old friends from the past (Jay/even Dan now lmao), some old sorta adversaries but we still cool as far as I know (Stevie), some new people, and even someone that’s a blast from the past which I was hardly involved with but this still gave me some hardcore nostalgia [12/13/2016 12:02:53 AM] Mitch: VAN [12/13/2016 12:03:01 AM] Mitch: Oh my god the only good person from Spain left [12/13/2016 12:03:12 AM] Van: omfg that's right! [12/13/2016 12:03:25 AM] Van: I honest to god forget that I was in Spain sometimes LMAO Mitch was in Spain too but we never got to meet due to me getting removed from that but Mitch went on with the flattery saying that he’s been rooting for me in every game since Aeolian which is <3 flattery works on me man lmao so I wanna work with Mitch. Mitch told me that Stevie and Jay are a group that’s working on getting majority right now and he’d like to join that group with me. I didn’t say I wouldn’t but I said I wanna keep Steffen in the loop and he seems like he’s good with it. Of course I wanna keep Billy in too but don’t wanna give away too much with all these people on this tribe yikes Jay told me that he heard the vote is gonna be Sam which is A-OK WITH ME. Never got to vote her out of Niue so going for it this time sounds great. My only concern is that Sam and Billy seem close so idk if Billy would really want to go for it. I mean as long as majority falls onto Sam then it’s all good but who knows. I talked with Steffen and we’re gonna try to figure out where everyone is at then give each other info in a couple hours. WHEW I gotta pack and get on the road soon so idk if I’ll have an update confessional but if I do then it’ll most likely be a panicked one like normal. At least this time it’ll be in the comfort of my home rather than my dorm room Also RIP me accidentally calling my All-Start chat while trying to get the confessional link 

So I'm voting for Sam. Which is terrible because I love her so much but she hasn't really been around. I also am getting super close to Stevie because I'm pretty sure him and I are the same person. He told me that he would have me, Jay, Sara, and Mitch's votes to get Sam out and I even asked Van who they were voting for and they said Sam. There's really nothing I can do to save her because I can't find that damn idol to save my life. It is what it is though :/

So it looks like people are targeting Ashley, praise God!!!! Ashley is targeting Punpun which is,, whatever. So far there's at least 4 votes down for Ashley, including me, Jordan has said yes to everyone so idk what he's up to, I might check with him again later, Charlotte Chrissa idk what either of them are up to but hopefully I could get one or both of them on board? And Ash is a possibility too because Ashley is lying to her, telling her to vote Karen, so maybe if I expose Ashley we can get Ash on board. If this all fails, knowing Karen she probably has an idol so that can be our safety net. 

Conf #15: Im Screaming? I came up with Gabriels name tonight to Stevie, Stevie told Billy, AND THEN BILLY CAME TO ME AND ASKED IF I WOULD JOIN HIM IN THE VOTE. AS IF I DIDNT SAY THAT NAME!!! If only he knew that Stevie and I are good. Oh also Stevie still doesnt know I vote him oops

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Rocking the Boat 2

A/n: AU Story! This does not go by the show! 

Link to Chapter 1 

Words: 3,529

Pairings: Gabriel x Reader

_____

The moment that you walked out of the bedroom, you instantly felt ill seeing the expressions on Dean and Cas’ faces... It was a mixture that any child hated seeing on a parent’s face…anger, sadness, and the worst of all disappointment. Cas was sitting on the couch looking at you with his stoic expression that you knew all too well. It was the one that he gave you any time that you did something wrong. Dean meanwhile, was just glaring...this was going to be fun!

  You didn’t realize you had stopped walking until you felt Gabriel’s hand on your lower back.

  “It’s okay, sugar.”

  His voice was calm as he tried to push you forward. You sat down on the opposite couch crossing your legs. It wasn’t okay. This was going to be a disaster in the making! You tried to pull your dress down as low as possible! Glancing back at Gabriel, you frowned. It would have been great if Gabriel didn’t throw your underwear somewhere. Sitting in front of your parents with Gabriel’s come leaking out of you was less than desirable!

  You didn’t notice Cas’ grossed out expression as he read his your thoughts. Normally Cas didn’t read your mind but he needed to know why you were making such horrible decisions! At this moment, there was no such thing as privacy! Cas wished that he had a bottle of brain bleach as Dean started talking. Maybe privacy was a good thing after all!

  “So it’s time for a come to Jesus meeting”

  Dean said coldly. Gabriel rolled his eyes.

  “I’m not going to him or doing shit for you. I’ve done enough for Jesus. I announced his birth and scared the shit out of Mary and Joseph. That’s enough.”

    Dean rolled his eyes. He was trying his best not to lunge at the archangel. Dean knew that it would do him no good but the thought of causing Gabriel some grief was too delightful!

  “Anyway…”

  Dean said coldly

  “How long has this been going on?”

  You looked to Gabriel. He slid his hand onto your thigh and earned a grossed out look from Dean.

  “A while. I love him and I’m not giving him up.”

  You replied. Both Dean and Cas needed to see that you weren’t about to walk away just because they didn’t like Gabriel. Dean rolled his eyes.

  “You do see who you are talking about? What he’s done to our family already?!”

  Dean snapped. Cas meanwhile, was still disturbed over you thoughts. While he was trying this best to get that out of his mind, he accidentally transferred his thoughts to Dean. Dean looked at Cas gaping before glaring at Gabriel.

  “If you knock her up I’m going to kill you!”

    Gabriel raised an eyebrow. Yeah, that was exactly what his plans were. Not! The last thing that he wanted to deal with was a kid! That would be a disaster!

  “Well, that came faster than expected.”  

  Gabriel commented looking almost bored. Dean quickly turned back to Sam who looked beyond uncomfortable himself. He had been waiting for Sam to say something but he hadn’t. Sam stood by the door looking like he was just waiting for a moment to bolt!

  “Holy shit! He’s going to knock her up! Sammy go get a morning after pill like now. Bring fifty! Y/n, GO SHOWER NOW!”

  Gabriel rolled his eyes before adjusting you onto his lap. He was enjoying the looks of displeasure on Dean and Cas’ faces. If the situation hadn’t been so serious, he would have cracked a joke.

  “Yes Sammy. Go waste time and buy pills that won’t do anything for her.”

  Dean gave Gabriel the biggest bitchy look known to man or angel.

  “Fine! Sam, go get me some lube and a pressure washer.”

  Gabriel was even more annoyed at that. He protectively wrapped her arms around you. You, meanwhile, was busy looking at Dean like he had lost his mind.

    “You aren’t touching her big boy.”

  Gabriel said coldly as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. He carefully got up but kept close to you. He wouldn’t let Cas have a chance to teleport you out of the room and away from him. His golden eyes had gone a few shades darker as he looked at Cas.

  “So a little birdy told me that Michael is causing some problems Something tells me that he is going to be after Y/n because of you three morons.”

  Cas and Dean exchanged looks. Neither obviously wanted to talk about this subject. They hadn’t even talked to you about it. It made the knowledge to you being aware of everything worse!

  “Yes.”

  Cas said dryly. Gabriel was quickly losing what control he had of his temper.

  “Yes? Yes is all you can say Castiel?”

  Gabriel let loose a bunch of Enochian words that no one but Cas understood. You made a mental note to ask Gabriel what he had said later when he was calm. Cas just looked at Gabriel with wide eyes. Whatever Gabriel was saying was clearly enough to be a kick in the balls.

  “Gabriel.”

    You said his name in almost a warning tone hoping to calm him. Cas meanwhile, looked down at his feet. This was beginning to be enough! Your attention turned to Dean and Cas then Sam.

  “Look, I love him. I’m not changing that because you all don’t like it. I’m an adult and you should respect my decision.”

  Dean raised an eyebrow.

  “You have to give respect to earn it, baby girl. You should have come to us first.”

  You turned to Dean,

  “So you could call me stupid like you essentially are now? Gabriel and I have been very happy. This right here has been the worst of it. Furthermore, if I were to get pregnant it wouldn’t be your decision to kill it.”

  Gabriel looked really uncomfortable now.

  “I uh never planned on that, kid.”

  You shot Gabriel a look. It was in this moment Dean actually developed a molecule of respect for the archangel. Gabriel didn’t like the displeased vibes he immediately got from you. Did you actually want a child? Did you even realize how crazy that would bet? It would be the most reckless thing they could do and Gabriel wasn’t going to let it happen!

    Gabriel shrugged it off before focusing on Dean and Cas.

  “You know I am the safest person for her right now. You both are just mad because it’s me that she is in love with. If it was any other angel you wouldn’t have a problem. Well, guess what boys? It’s me that she wants. If you need to go cry over it, go for it. I’m protecting her from Michael and any other creep along the way.”

  Neither Cas nor Dean said a word for a few seconds. It was Dean who stood looking coldly at Gabriel than at you.

  “I’ve just had you with me since you were born. Guess I’m just having a hard time letting go.”

  He turned walking from the room without another word, leaving you feeling even more guilty. Sam stood following after his brother, hoping to prevent any more of a family meltdown. Maybe if he could talk to Dean, things would be okay!

  Deep down, you always worried about Dean. What if that was the last time that you saw him walk through a door? You knew Cas was keeping everyone young but what if something went wrong on a hunting trip and Dean couldn’t be saved?

  You quickly turned to go after your father but was stopped by Cas. His hands were gently on your shoulder.  

  “Let him cool down.”

    You nodded as Cas took your cheeks in his hands. The feeling of instant safety washed over you.

  “You’ve made your choice?”

  Cas asked calmly. His voice didn’t allude to disappointment or anger. It was calm and typical Castiel. You nodded.

  “I have.”

  Cas sighed.

  “I never expected our goodbye to be like this.”

  Your eyes widened. What did he mean goodbye?

  “Cas, what are you talking about?”

  Cas’ eyes mirrored his heartbreak.

  “Stay with Gabriel. Don’t leave his side.”

  Cas leaned forward pressing a kiss to your head before disappearing.

  You hadn’t moved your eyes from the place that Cas stood. Had your family really just abandoned you? What happened to that whole “family is everything” message that you had preached to you all of your life? Of all the years in your existence, Dean and Cas swore they would always keep you safe and love you. Now they were gone. They literally just walked out of your life over Gabriel?

  “Y/n?”

  Gabriel’s voice pulled you from your thoughts. He wrapped his arms around you. You had finally got the courage to look at your boyfriend’s face. What you saw was fury. You had never seen Gabriel look this angry before! Sure, you had seen him mildly irritated and annoyed but not like this. You wished that Cas and Dean could see this Gabriel. What they saw was the trickster. They didn’t see the angelic side…the side that loved and protected you!

  “I’m okay.”

  You sniffed. Gabriel rolled his eyes.

  “Yeah right and I was born yesterday. Sugar, you aren’t fooling me.”

  You nodded, feeling the hot tears well in your eyes. Gabriel put his chin on top of her head. He couldn’t stand seeing that! You crying was one thing that made him want to burn the world down.

  “It will be okay, baby. I promise.”

  You couldn’t respond. If you even tried, it would come out as a loud sob and words even Gabriel couldn’t understand.

  “Come on baby, let's go back to bed.”

  You didn’t fight Gabriel as he situated you back into bed. He spent a few moments trying to fix the disheveled sheets before finally getting frustrated enough to just snap his fingers fixing linens immediately.

  Neither of you said anything for a few moments. Gabriel looked down watching your eyes focus on the wall. He lovingly moved a strand of your hair away from your face.

  “I know I don’t say it enough sugar but I love you. If you want... I will go talk to your dad and Cas to fix things. If that means we can’t be together…I understand. You need your family…”

  Your head popped up. Was he serious? The last thing that you were going to do was give him up now!

  “What?! No. I want you. I’m in love with you! Gabriel if they will let something like our love push them away then…I don’t need them. You don’t abandon your child because she's in love with someone.”

  Gabriel was relieved at your response. The last thing he wanted was to give you up. You were the first actual person that Gabriel had loved in a long time.

  “You need to get some rest, baby.”

  He said softly before putting two fingers to your forehead and putting you into a peaceful sleep.

  Meanwhile,

  Sam, Dean, and Cas had managed to get back to their hotel room. Sam was busy looking at his brother and the angel with wide shocked eyes.

  “So this is it? We just leave her with him? We don’t even go back and try to talk this out?!”

  Dean nodded, walking to the mini bar taking out one of the $10 mini bottles of whiskey. He downed it in one shot before looking at his brother.

  “It's time Y/n learns that there are consequences for her actions. Cas and I can’t baby her forever.”

  Sam blinked. He was just beyond shocked. This was the absolute LAST thing that he had expected his brother to say or do. This was so out of character! From Dean being the protective loving dad that he was to being oh I don’t care was a complete cluster fuck of emotions for Sam to process.

  “Are you serious?! Dean, you sound like dad!”

  Dean shrugged.

  “Maybe Dad was onto something.”

  Sam quickly turned to Cas who was looking down at his shoes. His blue eyes were beyond devastated.

  “Cas, you of all people can’t do this to your own child. You two are just being salty because she loves Gabriel. He was right back there. If it was anyone but him you two would have been okay with it!!”

  Cas looked up.

  “Y/n  has to make her own choices. She needs to learn how to cope without Dean and I always being there. We have treated her like a child for too long. She needs to grow up.”

  Sam ran a hand through his hair not believing what he was hearing.

  “Sorry guys but I don’t share you fucked up thinking right now. I love Y/n. I love her like she was my daughter and I am not about to let her be on her own.”

  “She has an archangel”

  Dean said, dryly. The bitterness and jealousy in his voice was all too obvious. He didn’t make an effort to hide it from his brother. Sam groaned.

  “Yeah, she does. She has someone really powerful who is in love with her. Its Gabriel…woo freakin hoo! I’m not letting Gabriel and Y/n face all of this on their own. I’m not risking losing my niece because you two want to prove some point to your daughter. I’m out.”

  Sam turned walking from the room without another word. The last thing Sam wanted was to be stuck with Gabriel for an extended amount of time but if it meant keeping you safe then he would deal with it!

  The next morning…

  You woke up to an empty bed.

  “Gabriel?”

  You said his name nervously. What if he decided to leave you after all?

  “Other room, sugar snap. Put on some clothes.”

  You slowly got out of the bed and looked around for some clothes. Maybe today would be better than yesterday! That was the only hope that you could have at the moment!

  After slipping into some clothes, walked back into the living room. You froze the moment that you saw Sam sitting on the couch.

  “What are you doing here?”

  Sam stood. He looked at you sympathetically. Sam wanted to tell you that Dean and Cas were idiots and that he would never hurt you. The words, however, wasn’t coming as easily as he would have hoped!

  “Dean and Cas were wrong to do what they did. I want no part of that. Y/n, I have watched you grow up and you have every right to love whoever you want. This is just like it was when I fell in love with Ruby…”

  You glanced at her Gabriel. He sat on the opposite couch with his feet on the coffee table. He gave you a nod to signal it was good with Sam. You turned back to him with a smile.

  “Thanks Sam. You can stay with us if you want but don’t think you are going to be telling me what to do.”

  Sam nodded.

  “You’re an adult. You need to make your choices. I am just keeping the promise that I made to your mother. I promised to keep you safe and I plan on keeping it that way.”

  You were halfway waiting for Gabriel to make a sassy witty comment but he didn’t. You wondered how long Sam had been in the living room and about the conversation that he and Gabriel had. What had they hashed out in the hours that you had been sleeping?

  “I’m glad you are here, Sam.”

  You said with a smile before hugging your uncle. Gabriel stood when you let go of Sam. He wasted no time in pulling you back against him. Gabriel and Sam didn’t even seem to acknowledge the other. He didn’t care that Sam looked a little grossed out. The abnormally large Winchester would have to get used to it. He was about to see a lot of physical affection!

  “I’m going to find you some breakfast, princess then we are getting the hell out of here.”

  Meanwhile….

  Dean awoke in a cold sweat. He had a restless night sleep all night. Every dream he had was a memory of you as a child. The last one disturbed him the most…

  You were still a baby and was crying…Dean awoke like he did any other night hearing your cries. Where was Cas? Normally night time was Cas’ shift. Cas usually spent most nights holding you. He spent his time memorizing all of your features. It was a rare moment when you were put into your crib. It was probably the reason you hated the thing!

  Dean lay in bed a moment longer waiting to hear Cas go into the room and comfort you. He was used to hearing  When the crying continued Dean finally got up stumbling into the opposite bedroom.

  “All right Y/n. Daddy is here.”

  When he looked down into the crib his heart stopped seeing no baby in the crib.

  “Y/n?”

  His voice trembled as he removed one blanket to only find another blanket repetitively.

  “Looking for this?”

  Dean stood turning to see Gabriel holding you with a smirk on his face.

  “Yeah, let me have her.”

  Dean said coldly. Gabriel shook his head. His golden eyes looked cold. This Gabriel was different. There was something more sinister to him...more angelic. Dean winced at the realization that Gabriel was in true archangel from...the way that he was “supposed” to be.

  “No. You threw her away like she was trash. You get what you get.”

  Dean had awoken from the dream trembling. He looked around the room for Cas but the angel was nowhere. Dean ran a hand through his hair before he quickly dressed bolting from the room. He had to talk to you! Maybe if he apologized and agreed to try to get along with Gabriel...everything would be okay. You deserved an apology! What kind of dad treated their kid that way! Dean Winchester typically didn't! You were right about everything! He was just mad because it was Gabriel!

  Arriving at the other hotel, Dean took the stairs two at a time until he arrived at the room. Banging on the door, Dean was almost jumping up and down. Why weren’t you answering?! Why wasn’t the stupid archangel answering? If Sam was there where the hell was he?

  Having enough, Dean took out his knife to pry his way in. The three of you couldn’t ignore him once he burst in right?  Someone would have to pay attention to him!

  Once he got in, Dean’s heart sank. The room was perfectly clean awaiting another guest. You weren't there. You were gone! Something shiny on the bed caught Dean’s attention. He walked into the room, hoping to see a note or something. Instead, he found the locket that he and Cas had bought you when you turned 6. You had never taken it off since your birthday. Now here it was abandoned in an empty hotel room.

  Dean sat down on the bed holding the locket in his hands. Putting his head down, Dean felt like the biggest ass known to man. Not only had he lost his little brother but now his little girl! His little princess was gone. He had a sinking feeling that he would never see you again. For the first time in a long time, Dean allowed himself to cry….

  How would he tell Cas? This wasn’t what they expected. Dean believed that you would come running back to them just like you always had. They never expected you to take off with Gabriel. That was what they didn’t tell Sam the night previous. It had been a ploy to teach you that you shouldn’t have lied to them. Instead, it was clearly teaching both Dean and Cas a lesson. They should have listened to their daughter!

  Taking out his phone, Dean called your number. As he waited for you to answer, the sound of your phone ringing came from across the room. Dean groaned throwing his own phone angrily. You hadn’t even taken your phone. Clearly, you knew that he could trace you! You knew all of the tricks.

  Dean sighed before getting up and taking his phone from the floor. He growled angrily as he dialed Cas’ number. He waited a moment before quickly hanging up. The last thing that he wanted to do at the moment was to call Cas. He knew a text in this situation was a pretty big douche move but Dean couldn’t handle anything else.

  “Cas, she’s gone. I came to talk to her. She and Gabriel are completely MIA. She has left her phone and took off. Our baby is gone…”

_______

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