#so what if she made a different choice after she got the jabberjay

[cutter-kirby]

so um. I’m thinking about tbosas again. and there’s one part after sejanus argues with gaul where coryo thinks to himself that if sejanus isn't too careful then he'll end up as one of her experiments. so. what if that actually happened

[backtothestart02]

Will You Write to Me, Lucy Gray? - 2/? | snowbaird fanfiction

A/N: An update! At 3am! lol

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Chapter 2 -

The Hob was bustling with an enthusiastic crowd the night before Coriolanus’s departure. He sat in the back, like he usually did, but he still had a great view of Lucy Gray on the stage, as always. She looked beautiful, stunning in her usual garb and a flower in her hair. She was singing that song about them that she’d told him she’d been working on, and it brought a tear to his eye.

Pure as the Driven Snow it was called, and it was all about him and what he meant to her. How she needed, trusted, loved him.

He was going to miss her so much.

How was he going to cope without her?

It had been weighing him down for the past nine days, and he still hadn’t told her. He knew it would break her, and she’d also be mad, like he had a choice in the matter. But she’d probably be madder he hadn’t told her sooner, which was fair, but also, she hadn’t had to live with the knowledge for the past week and a half, and he knew she would appreciate that in the long run.

Maybe they could write to each other.

Would Lucy Gray write to him?

Or maybe she’d send mockingjays to him of her singing, of this song right now, to keep him sane without her company. And he’d send her jabberjays right back, telling her he loved her and missed her…

Had he told her he loved her?

It was plain as day in his eyes whenever he looked at her, but he didn’t think he’d actually said the words. He needed to before he left, in case she never heard the words again, in case she didn’t want to, in case she didn’t believe them when he said them in her anger.

He sighed and got up while she was playing her song the second time through. He knew she was watching him, would see him leaving during their love song, and that would hurt her, but he couldn’t continue to stare lovingly at her, knowing what was to come. And he knew now that if she followed him away from the crowd to ask what was wrong, he would tell her. He didn’t have the strength to withhold it anymore. Not when he was leaving at the crack of dawn the very next day.

And that’s exactly what happened.

Just as he got to the edge of the crowd, his head pounding, his heart aching, tears coming to his eyes for a different reason, he could vaguely hear in the back of his mind Lucy Gray wrapping up her song, and a cheer going up as one of the Covey announced to the crowd let’s hear it for Lucy Gray Baird!

And the crowd cheered as she hopped off the stage, leaving her guitar behind, and the next singer took her place.

She made a beeline for him then, and he turned to face her when she pulled on his arm.

“Hey, what’s up? Something the matter?” And the smile on her face fell the minute she saw his face. “Oh, heavens, what is it? Did something happen?”

“I’m leaving,” he said grimly.

She frowned.

“Oh…kay. I’ll come with you.”

And he wanted to laugh, because that was what he dreamed of, her coming with him when he had to leave. Only she couldn’t. Not this time.

“Not just the Hob, Lucy Gray,” he said softly. “District 12.”

And she froze, her arms falling to her side. She felt a nasty chill rise up her spine, like he’d known about this for a while.

“When?” she asked, swallowing hard. “A-And where? And for how long?”

He leaned back against the wall he was just inches away from and pressed his head to the cold cement.

“Tomorrow morning, and I don’t know how long. It’s for officer training in 2.”

“You’re leaving me?” she asked, and he could hear the anger creeping in but mostly the hurt, like it had been his idea, and maybe that he’d planned on not telling her either.

“I don’t want to,” he said. “I don’t have a choice. They’re shipping me off due to good behavior and my intellect.”

“You are awful smart,” she said bitterly. “So smart that you chose to tell me this nine days after you found out about it,” she put together.

“Lucy Gray…”

“What? Did you think I wouldn’t be able to handle it? That I wouldn’t want to help you carry this burden? That I wouldn’t spend every second of free time we shared being with you instead of writing this god-forsaken song?” She huffed.

He stood back up on both feet and tried to gather her in his arms, but she resisted.

“I didn’t want you to have to,” he said softly.

“Yeah, well, now I know every moment we’ve had for the past nine days has been filled with you lying to me, and that’s how we end our relationship. With lies and mistrust. After I sang about trusting you.” She scoffed.

“Lucy Gray.” He started to panic, but she was backing up, preparing to run.

“So, go on, Coriolanus Snow. Go to district 2, and then go to the capitol when you’re done there. Forget all about District 12 and me and everything we’ve built here. I know it’s what you’ve wanted all along.”

“That’s not true. Lucy Gray!”

But she had turned to leave, and she was running, and if he didn’t follow her, he knew he’d lose her forever.

He had to job to keep up with her, but once outside it wasn’t hard at all to find her. She was pressed against the side of the building crying her eyes out, and it broke his heart.

“Lucy Gray.”

He tried to hold her again, but she pushed him away.

“Leave me alone! Just…just go.” She hiccupped a sob.

But he wasn’t going to grant her request this time. Lucy Gray wasn’t strong after dark. He’d remembered that from during the games. And there were no bars between them now, no cage, and he had his whole body to comfort her with, not just a handkerchief.

So he held her until she stopped fighting him, and he stroked her hair when she fell apart in his arms, sobbing against his chest.

“I love you,” she mumbled, clutching at his shirt.

He nodded and sighed. “I know.”

“I love you, and you’re leaving me.”

He licked his lips. It was now or never.

“I love you, too, Lucy Gray.”

She huffed and looked at him.

“How can you say that? How can you say that when-”

“Because it’s true,” he said, wiping away her tears with his thumb. “I can say it because it’s true.”

She shook her head, closing her eyes as more tears seeped out.

“It’s not fair.”

“I know.”

“I-It’s not fair that you’re going when…” Her bottom lip trembled. “You were supposed to be here for twenty years.”

“I know.”

“We could’ve started a life together.”

“Yeah.”

Tears filled his eyes too.

“But maybe we still can.”

She huffed.

“You’ll go to the capitol, and you won’t come back, Coriolanus. It’s your home, where you belong. You told me yourself.”

He clasped his hands on either side of her face.

“Lucy Gray, listen to me. I have to go for officer training in 2. Okay? I have to. But then I’ll come back here, I’ll come back for you. And if you want to stay here, I’ll stay here too.”

“You mean it?”

He nodded, not looking away, never looking away.

“I mean it.” He licked his lips. “And maybe…maybe in the meantime, maybe while I’m away…” he hesitated, suddenly feeling foolish.

“What?” Her brows furrowed.

“Maybe you’ll write to be, Lucy Gray?”

Her lips parted.

“And if you don’t want to do that, maybe you’ll sing to one of those fucking birds and send it to me.”

“Coriolanus.”

“I need your voice to keep me strong, keep me going. Please, Lucy Gray. I can’t go without you completely. I can’t…I can’t. You’re everything to me. You’re-”

And then he kissed her, his words dying with his lips on hers, and he pressed her back against the building, and completely ravished her mouth, pushing his body flush up against hers so she could feel all of him, feel what she was doing to him and what he’d have to go on missing for months maybe. Who knew?

Lucy Gray broke apart from him after a few deliciously hot kisses, and then took his hand.

“Come with me,” she said.

“But, the Covey…” he protested, knowing where her head was at.

“They’ll be in the Hob for another hour at least. Trust me. Do you trust me?”

He nodded. “I trust you.”

And so she squeezed his hand and led him back to her little home, her little bedroom that was now void of anyone else. And they made love there on her squeaky little bed, and he stayed until nearly dawn, wrapped around her body.

No one in heaven or earth could have taken him from her, not that night. And when he finally had to leave come morning break, she reached for him and whispered the words he’d been hoping to hear all night.

“I’ll write to you.”

He pressed a kiss to the back of her hand.

“Thank you, Lucy Gray.”