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regular-lord-reckoner · 2 months ago

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hello !!

it is i, back to haunt this tumblr before spoopy season slips away, wooOOoooOOO

anyway, hi there, just thought i'd give a little update on me and what i've been up to.

i'm....ok ?? i guess ??

i feel more like myself, anyway, but still having a hard time most days, especially because i'm pretty sure i can feel myself sliding into burnout again but i'm doing my best !!

i still haven't been back to therapy yet, mostly because i'm trying to decide if i want to attempt to go to at least one more session if nothing else to clear up whatever remaining money i may owe her or if i should just move on. i feel a bit snubbed but at the same time i do still owe her for the work she's done so far and i don't think it's that much left anyway, but i've just kinda had to sit with that, "huh, okay then," feeling for a minute. i dunno, i guess we'll see.

if nothing else i think i'll probably find a new one at some point anyway because i feel like i'd kinda hit a wall with her and especially after her not reaching out to me to reschedule and only giving me the option of calling her to make an appointment (you literally work with all neurodivergent clients and you yourself also are, what are we doing here??) i'm not sure i really trust her anymore so oh well. that's part of it, i guess. you try some and they don't work out, but i do want to try again because i do think it helped so we'll see !

in the mean time, though, i've been keeping busy. lately mostly in preparation for a wedding that took place at my house this past weekend !!

it was for the daughter of someone my mom and i know from work and we've always loved them and their family so with how fucking expensive everything is these days we let them just use our place to get hitched and everything went off perfectly !!

and although i don't know them super duper well, i do think they're going to be a very good couple and their wedding was absolutely beautiful. we have this little clearing in the woods that as soon as you step into it it's almost like you're in another world and especially at this time of year it's really magical with the leaves changing and everything so for weeks leading up to this they've occasionally come out to clear things out and get it set up the way they wanted and it ended up being pretty simple, but still very beautiful.

i also got asked to be the person who fluffed out the bottom of her dress before she walked down the aisle and i also carried the train of her dress so i was actually the only person with her before the ceremony began and i hope i did a good job of calming her nerves beforehand. in any case, she did great, they both did great and it was one of the best weddings i think i've ever been to, so yay !! i hope they live happily ever after and all that !!

although admittedly i am glad the day has now passed so that i can work on some other projects around the house, namely my own shit.

i keep saying i'm gonna tackle my mess and donate some clothes and all that, but then i end up having to clean out the room the water heater's so a repair guy can come in or clean out the laundry room so a repair guy can come in or or or

there's also just me taking on more and more responsibilities now that it's just me and my mom, like yesterday for instance.

we decided instead of us trying to fool with putting the pool cover on ourselves we asked some guys from the place we buy some of our pool stuff from if they'd come out and do it and they said sure so that was all good and well but my mom decided she wanted us to have the water be tested beforehand to see if we need to add anything to it which....i feel like we haven't done in the past but i said i'd do it so i did (or tried to anyway)

wouldn't you fucking know it, the pool store we go to was closed !!! apparently they're closed every wednesday but i didn't realize that until i was at the gas station getting some gas and was going to pull the address up on my gps because i couldn't quite remember where it was so that was....fun

i thought i was going to be smart, though so i pulled up another pool place not too far from there that i remember us going to before so i thought surely i could just take my sample over to them and they'd be able to tell me what i need

well.............. evidently the benefit of going to the place we normally go to would have been that they already have all our information on file, including how many gallons it is, which....y'know, they kinda need to know in order to recommend any sort of treatment

and me being me and notoriously bad at guessing the size of things, i wasn't sure and didn't even want to try to guess because i knew i'd just sound like an idiot so i apologized and was ready to just take my water and leave but the guy was nice enough to still run it and said it looked fine, he just couldn't really recommend anything without knowing the size but that if i did figure it out to call and let them know, well, by that point i would have run out of time so i just thanked him and scurried out of there

and i know it's a silly thing to be upset about, especially with everything going on, but i think the thing that really got to me and made me cry on the way home was that this was a scenario where normally i could have just called my dad

my mom was busy at work and i didn't want to bother her, but like....my dad was retired, chances are he would have been at home, asleep in front of the TV with our dog in his lap. and truthfully, he probably would have just gone to the pool store and handled it so that i wouldn't have to clock out for a few hours which meant i had to work later yesterday just to get all my hours in

it's just been stuff like that, where over and over again i'm realizing, "oh, right....yeah" and i just....miss him. a lot.

especially now because in another turn of events, i uh....i guess my mom's dating now? kinda?

she said it wasn't anything serious and like....that's whatever, it's her life, she deserves to be happy, i just can't help but feel conflicted about the whole thing and have really been trying to sit with it for the past few days.

on the one hand i obviously just want her to be happy and i kind of knew on some level that this would probably happen, that she'd at least try it out and i can't say i blame her, she's pretty much only been in like...two serious relationships all her life, one of them being my dad so i get it. but on the other hand it's just kinda like....so, we're not gonna give therapy a shot? y'know that thing i've been more or less begging you to try for years now? we're just gonna.....hop into a relationship and that'll make it all better?

i dunno. i guess i'm just worried because she's not always the best judge of character and can be easily fooled by people, especially when they really put on the charm and i just don't want her (or me by extension) to end up in some fucked up situation because of some asshole

it's also kind of frustrating to me, too because one of her friends who's egging this on is in one of the most toxic garbage dumps of a relationship i've ever seen and it's just like....that's who you're going to listen to?? someone who, i love very much, but in no way has their shit together and is very much only in this relationship because of that and that's whose example you're gonna follow?? okay !!!

i dunno. i've talked with her about it and have mostly just encouraged her to please be careful, please don't jump into anything too fast and please especially if you're going to do this please, please, please consider also doing therapy. i really don't think any relationship should be a substitute for the work a person needs to do on themselves, no matter how nice it may seem to have another person ~~fix you, it's just.....not possible. trust me, i've been trying to do it for everyone i love my entire life and it's never once worked. maybe i'm just shitty at it or maybe, just maybe, it's just....not possible for another person to reach into someone's head and do that interpersonal work for them. i dunno, call me crazy, but it's just been a wall i've been slamming myself into over and over and over again, especially with her and this is still where it's at so like....you tell me !!

but yeah, that's just really thrown me through a loop lately and admittedly, selfishly, in my private time i've had a few breakdowns about it because on a personal level i'm just....not ready for that.

even if it never gets to that point where i have a ~stepdad or what the fuck ever, i just don't know if i'm ready to see her with someone besides my dad and i'm sure if she does meet someone good who's good to her and really makes her happy i'll suck it up and just cheer them on but like....fuck if it isn't going to kill me inside a little

i dunno, i guess we'll see what happens. i guess also selfishly i'm just dreading the worst because i also feel like all of my life i've watched person after person after person that i love get into a bad situation because of a relationship and i know it's just part of life and maybe if i'd be a little braver it would happen to me as well, but it just sucks and i really don't want her to get hurt because if she was struggling before i can only imagine how much worse it might get if she gets with the wrong person or if it just doesn't turn out well for whatever reason.

ultimately, though, it's pretty much out of my hands. that was one thing i've learned from my own time in therapy is that i really shouldn't make myself be so responsible for other people's shit and not in that shitty twitter way of like, "nobody owes anyone anything!!" or whatever, but like.... i really have spent a good chunk of my life throughout multiple relationships trying to take on other people's stuff for them and i just....can't anymore.

it's not that i don't care, it's not that i don't want to see people succeed and be happy, it's just like i said before, i'm not physically possible of going into anyone else's head and messing around with the wires in there to make them connect in whatever way that will finally make someone else realize that they're loved already and really do mean something to me and to others

i feel like i've done a lot through my actions (and words) to try to convey my love, but beyond that point it's simply just not possible for me to make someone else actually internalize those things and overcome insecurities and hangups. i'll do the best i can, but there are just some thing that aren't possible for me to do and i've about wrung myself completely dry trying

so yeah, that's just some of what's been going on with me lately. just been a lot to process and a lot to deal with and on top of that, i also have two aunts that are in florida right now who i think just got their power back on yesterday so i'm glad for that and i'm glad they're okay but that was also just...kinda of a nightmare time with this past storm

especially because one of my aunts (i'll just call her aunt B and the other one aunt N since they're names start with the same letter), aunt B, initially made it seem like she and her partner were just gonna...y'know, ride out the storm. in their not-at-all-built-for-this-shit garage.

mind you, aunt N, who's been living in florida for the past 30 years and has ridden out every storm up until this point, actually decided to seek shelter further inland at the place she works at so it's like....hey, if she's going to take cover i think you two, who live even closer to the water, should probably like.....not just climb into a boat in your garage and wait for the waves to come get you or what the hell ever the plan was

they also had my mom all upset because B's partner was like, "we'll text you the bank information so you can have access" and shit like that and it's like ????? hey, can we not??? please??

they did end up getting in the storm shelter one of their neighbors has so thank fuck for that, but the cell service at that time was almost non-existent so between these texts were had to wait a long time and were both just losing our shit because we didn't know what was going on and it just...yeah

aunt N also said that when she got back to the neighborhood she had a break down because so many people's places were just destroyed and it was so incredibly devastating.

she thought initially that her roof was gone but it turns out it was the crumpled up remains of one of her neighbor's roofs that had blown onto hers so she's been trying to get them hooked up with some help to fix that

i gotta give it to my aunt N, too, because her work had only extended an offer to her to come seek shelter but she rounded up as many people in her neighborhood as she could, grabbed her cat and they all headed over to wait for Milton to pass

the other element of this is, i think part of the reason aunt B's partner was being that way about everything was because aunt N offered to come get them as well but because she still has a grudge against aunt N (for some shit she started, mind you !!!) she was just...y'know, gonna commit herself and aunt B to dying rather than accept aunt N's help

which just.....alright. fuckin' alright then.

like i said before, everyone please go to therapy. or just....something. because i've seen so many examples of what happens when you don't and you decide to make the world your enemy instead or flip on people who genuinely just want to help and love you and this is where it gets you. pulling stupid stunts like that and putting other people's lives at risk over petty fucking bullshit

and if anything, considering aunt N was the one who was wronged in this situation, i really think it was big of her to even extend that offer in the first place because i know that woman can hold a grudge but even in that instance was she like, "hey, i don't like this person but you're with my sister and i still love her so can we put this shit aside for a minute and just work together so nobody gets hurt?"

and the fact that aunt B's partner STILL hasn't budged is just....wild to me. like ma'am, you put a ransom style note in aunt N's mailbox calling her a cunt (once again over some shit YOU started) and you're really going to be like this?? during a natural disaster?? okay. whatever, man.

i'm just glad everyone's okay and i know aunt B and her partner were thinking about moving back up here anyway so hopefully they'll more seriously consider that instead of just sending my mom on a wild goose chase all over the place looking for perfectly good homes that aunt B's partner will turn down for bullshit reasons like "the yard doesn't have any mature trees" or what the hell ever

i guess we'll see on that, too.

in happier news, though, i get to see my nieces this weekend because one of them's having a little birthday party so that should be fun !!

i'm going to go to bed soon because i actually need to go buy her a present tomorrow as well as take the trash off and get some groceries so hopefully i find her something good !!

oh and they did come out to close the pool today which i'm always sad to see go but by the last few times i had gotten in there i couldn't feel my toes so i guess it's time and i'll have to find some other way to exercise

on the upside, though, i should have more time for other stuff i've been putting off because i'd been spending a lot of time out there just...trying to heal and shit so hopefully soon i'll get back to my puzzles and learning guitar and reading more books and all that jazz

and of course the closer it gets to halloween the better so i hope everyone has a wonderful spoopy season and are trying to find some enjoyment in whatever you can right now, especially if you love fall and hopefully you'll hear from me again before too long <3

#just a little life update

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emilykat-artblog18 · 1 year ago

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The Other Port

{a humanized Tugs AU story inspired by Coraline} Written by Emilykat-artblog18 and @minty-industrialsteamblog

(chapter 1)

.:: The Button Eyed Dolls ::.

I remember a time my two deckhands, Ten Cents and Sunshine, experienced some abnormalities during a job I assigned them. Bigg City Port was busier than ever.

For almost a whole month my employees worked from dawn to dusk with barely any time for themselves.

While many of them were used to the heavy workload, my two younger recruits weren’t so much. After a long day helping to help unload crates of fruit from a tramp steamer they returned to the Star Fleet Headquarters feeling very tired.

Ten Cents trudged slowly into the employee lounge, Sunshine flopped down on the couch with a sigh of relief, “Finally! I thought the day would never end.” Sunshine exclaimed, adjusting himself a bit.

“Get as much rest as you can when you get back to your bunk. Captain Starr said there’ll be more labor inducing work like this tomorrow and even the following weeks.” Ten Cents advised as he opened a bottle of lemonade from the icebox.

“Oh boy, more work…” Sunshine said very uncharacteristically.

“Cheer up Sunshine, if we do as we’re assigned in a timely manner, surely we’ll have some time for ourselves,” Ten Cents reassured, “But speaking of time for ourselves, let’s go to our bunks and recharge our batteries for tomorrow”

“Alright then…” Ten Cents pocketed the bottle cap from his lemonade and the two walked to their bunks.

Not much time had passed once my youngest workers lied down in their bunks when Sunshine decided to speak up.

“Hey, Ten Cents-”

“Yeah Sunshine?”

“I’ve been thinking… Have you ever wished for anything better than this?”

“Better than what?”

“Better than how things have been at Star Tug and Marine recently. We’ve been practically working our butts off. Don’t we deserve a break by now?”

“Sunshine, I know it’s been rough over the past couple of months but having worked for the company for sometime, I’ve gotten used to it. I don’t need to wish for a break, eventually we’ll get some vacation time to burn, although…”

Ten Cents paused, “If I’m being honest, I could do with a break working in the bustling port, a change in scenery would be nice”

“What would be nice, Ten Cents?” Both Ten Cents and Sunshine nearly fell out of their bunks, “Nothing Captain Starr, sir!” I slowly walked up to the two youngsters.

“I greatly apologize if I interrupted you both on anything, but I have one last job for you two today. I need you two to go to our storage room and clean it out. So that there’s more space for new equipment and supplies need to be stored away. Understood?”

“Yes sir”, Ten Cents and Sunshine replied together. I tossed them the keys.

“Anything that isn’t necessary, leave it next to the door but don’t block the hallway. Warrior and Big Mac will take them to the dump. Be sure to return them to me after you're done. Don’t lose them.” I turned and walked to my office,

“We will, Sir.”

Once I was out of earshot, Ten Cents let out a sigh.

“The Jinx strikes again.” Sunshine remarked,

Ten Cents glared, “Do you see a hooter anywhere? And last time I checked, Boomer resigned.”

“Jinxes stick like glue”, Sunshine said ominously.

“Oh shut up you little-” Ten Cents gave Sunshine a punch on his shoulder, “Let’s go the quicker we get this done, the sooner we can get some sleep.”

“Alright, I’m coming”. And with that, the two made their way to the storage room.

The storage room hadn’t been used in a very long time. As soon as Ten Cents unlocked the door and flicked on the lightswitch, the ceiling lights barely lit the room up, but both could see rows upon rows of boxes stacked upon metal racks with cobwebs and dust bunnies coating everything. Sunshine was suddenly hit by a waft of dust causing him to choke.

“There’s just so many of them. How long has it been since this place was organized?”

“Probably way before you and I joined the Star Fleet. I guess nobody bothered to clean up this place.” Ten Cents replied. The two walked deeper into the storage room.

“How were so many boxes crammed into such a small room?” Sunshine commented.

“No idea but let’s get to cleaning.”

“Right!”

Ten Cents and Sunshine worked hard cleaning up the storage room, looking inside each box for anything that was no longer necessary to keep. A couple hours passed as they worked, slowly the rest of my team returned from their jobs.

Warrior and Big Mac would’ve said hello to the duo but they were just too tired and trudged off to the showers. Ten Cents and Sunshine were nearly done cleaning out the junk in the storage room with many boxes now stacked neatly next to the wall before they started to speak to each other again.

“Hey Sunshine, ever thought of what the inside of Top Hat’s mind looks like?”

“Yeah what?”

Ten Cents pointed to a bunch of boxes simply labeled as “garbage”

“Ha, I thought it was that!” laughed Sunshine.

The two started cracking more jokes at the expense of Top Hat to pass the time. If Top Hat was there, he would’ve wrung Ten Cents and Sunshine’s necks. Their laughter was soon cut short as a small metallic thud echoed throughout the room startling them.

“Sunshine… Did you bump something off one of the racks?”

“No; Did you, Ten Cents?”

“No.”

Ten Cents walked towards the direction of where the sound came from. The side of the room was much darker so Ten Cents searched the ground with his flashlight drawn.

“I found it!”

“What is it?!”

Ten Cents returned holding something large wrapped in decaying newspaper. Sunshine was perplexed as Ten Cents proceeded to rip the newspaper off.

“Feels like there’s a-”, Ten Cents dropped the wad of newspaper out of utter shock.

“Feels like there’s a what?” puzzled Sunshine.

Ten Cents didn’t reply and just held out the objects in his hand. Sunshine was in disbelief. What was inside the newspaper wad were a pair of filthy, stuffed dolls with buttons sewn where the eyes would be. Ten Cents quivered, “They look exactly like us…”

Sunshine grabbed the dolls and examined them in admiration.

“The amount of detail put into these is quite impressive. The only question is… who made them?”

Ten Cents shook his head, “beats me”.

Ten Cents then noticed something wrapped around the neck on the doll that resembled him. He snatched the doll out of Sunshine’s hands to get a better look.

“Mine’s got a key on it”

“Any idea on what it’s for?”

“I haven’t the slightest clue, Sunshine. But let’s not focus on that right now. Once we are finished then we can ask the others about them.”

Sunshine sighed, “Oh alright, but can I hold onto them? Until we find out who made them, of course.”

“Yeah sure. Well I think we’re just about finished, let's get cleaned up and get some grub at the cafeteria. All this work has made me hungry”, Ten Cents replied, rubbing his stomach.

“A bite sounds good as well to me”, Sunshine agreed. Ten Cents closed the storage room door, locking it behind him, and the two set off to the cafeteria.

{End of Chapter 1}

Next chapter ->

#this is tugs #bigg city port #The Other Port AU #tugs humanized #my au #coraline au #this is humanized #tugs ten cents #tugs sunshine #Captain Starr #star tugs #finally making these chapters available to everyone #this is the beginning of what’s to come #more chapters coming soon ;)

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taylorswiftandx · 2 years ago

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Taylor Swift and Our

'Taylor Swift'

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): And our daddies used to joke about the two of us

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): And our mamas smiled and rolled their eyes and said, "Oh, my my my"

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): Take me back to the time we had our very first night

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): We were sitting at our favorite spot in town

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): Our whole town came and our mamas cried

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): We'll rock our babies on that very front porch

Our Song: Our song is the slamming screen door

Our Song: Our song is the way you laugh

Our Song: Waited for something to come along that was as good as our song

Our Song: Our song is the way he laughs

Our Song: I grabbed a pen and an old napkin and I wrote down our song

A Perfectly Good Heart: Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart, now?

'Fearless (Taylor's Version)'

Breathe: People are people and sometimes we change our minds

Change: Tonight we'll stand, get off our knees

Change: And the battle was long, it's the fight of our lives

Jump Then Fall: The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet

That's When: And I said, "Leave all those in our past"

'Speak Now (Taylor's Version)'

Mine: And I remember that fight, 2:30 AM, as everything was slipping right out of our hands

Last Kiss: And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are

Last Kiss: Just like our last kiss, forever the name on my lips, forever the name on my list, just like our last

Long Live: The time we stood with our shaking hands, the crowds in stands went wild

Long Live: We were the kings and the queens and they read off our names

Long Live: The night you danced like you knew our lives would never be the same

Long Live: When they gave us our trophies and we had them up for our town

Long Live: May these memories break our fall

Ours: The stakes are high, the water's rough, but this love is ours

Ours: But they can't take what's ours, they can't take what's ours

Timeless: I’m gonna love you when our hair is turning gray

'Red (Taylor's Version)'

State Of Grace: We are alone with our changing minds

State Of Grace: Up in your room and our slates are clean

22: It feels like a perfect night to dress up like hipsters and make fun of our exes

Holy Ground: We had this big wide city all to ourselves

Ronan: I remember your blue eyes looking into mine like we had our own secret club

Run: We can go where our eyes can take us, go where no one else is, run

'1989 (Taylor's Version)'

Welcome To New York: When we first dropped our bags on apartment floors, took our broken hearts, put them in a drawer

Wildest Dreams: And when we've had our very last kiss, my last request is

Wonderland: So we went on our way, too in love to think straight

New Romantics: We show off our different scarlet letters, trust me, mine is better

New Romantics: We are too busy dancing to get knocked off our feet

Suburban Legends: I had the fantasy that maybe our mismatched star signs would surprise the whole school

Suburban Legends: When I ended up back at our class reunion, walking in with you

'reputation'

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: People started talking, putting us through our paces

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: But we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied, hands tied

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: Yeah, we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied, hands tied

Dress: Our secret moments in a crowded room

'Lover'

Lover: We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January, this is our place, we make the rules

Lover: We could let our friends crash in the living room, this is our place, we make the call

Death By A Thousand Cuts: And what once was ours is no one's now

Death By A Thousand Cuts: Our songs, our films, united we stand, our country, guess it was a lawless land

Death By A Thousand Cuts: Paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans

London Boy: He likes my American smile, like a child when our eyes meet

You Need To Calm Down: Like, can you just not step on our gowns?

Daylight: Threw out our cloaks and our daggers because it's morning now, it's brighter now, now

'folklore'

Seven: And just like a folk song, our love will be passed on

Seven: Passed down like folk songs, our love lasts so long

Invisible String: Bold was the waitress on our three-year trip getting lunch down by the Lakes

Peace: Our coming-of-age has come and gone, suddenly this summer, it's clear

'evermore'

Champagne Problems: How evergreen, our group of friends don't think we'll say that word again

'Tis The Damn Season: I parked my car right between the Methodist and the school that used to be ours

No Body, No Crime: That ain't my jewelry on our joint account

Happiness: When did all our lessons start to look like weapons pointed at my deepest hurt?

Happiness: In our history, across our great divide, there is a glorious sunrise

Coney Island: Were you waiting at our old spot in the tree line by the gold clock?

Cowboy Like Me: And the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up

Marjorie: You'd always go past where our feet could touch

Right Where You Left Me: If our love died young, I can't bear witness

'Midnights'

Mastermind: I'm the wind in our free-flowing sails and the liquor in our cocktails

Glitch: But it's been 2190 days of our love blackout, our love is blacking out

Would've, Could've, Should've: Years of tearing down our banners, you and I

Hits Different: Each bar plays our song, nothing has ever felt so wrong

Other Songs written by Taylor

Christmas Must Be Something More: So here's to the birthday boy who saved our lives

Christmas Must Be Something More: So here's to Jesus Christ who saved our lives

Eyes Open: In backyards, winning battles with our wooden swords

If This Was A Movie: Wrapped up in your arms and our friends are laughing

Only The Young: They aren't going to change this, we gotta do it ourselves

Safe And Sound: The war outside our door keeps raging on

The Alcott: And over, like I always do / ‘Cause I love this curse on our house

This Is What We Came For: I say, "Our place," when we leave

Official Alternate Releases

If This Was A Movie (2010 Version): Locked up in your arms and our friends are laughing

Cowboy Like Me (Clean Version): And the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to mess this up

#taylor swift #lyrics #taylorswiftandx #lyric parallels #our

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denthusiastj · 2 years ago

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The Flight From Conversation

By SHERRY TURKLE

April 21, 2012

WE live in a technological universe in which we are always communicating. And yet we have sacrificed conversation for mere connection.

At home, families sit together, texting and reading e-mail. At work executives text during board meetings. We text (and shop and go on Facebook) during classes and when we’re on dates. My students tell me about an important new skill: it involves maintaining eye contact with someone while you text someone else; it’s hard, but it can be done.

Over the past 15 years, I’ve studied technologies of mobile connection and talked to hundreds of people of all ages and circumstances about their plugged-in lives. I’ve learned that the little devices most of us carry around are so powerful that they change not only what we do, but also who we are.

We’ve become accustomed to a new way of being “alone together.” Technology-enabled, we are able to be with one another, and also elsewhere, connected to wherever we want to be. We want to customize our lives. We want to move in and out of where we are because the thing we value most is control over where we focus our attention. We have gotten used to the idea of being in a tribe of one, loyal to our own party.

Our colleagues want to go to that board meeting but pay attention only to what interests them. To some this seems like a good idea, but we can end up hiding from one another, even as we are constantly connected to one another.

A businessman laments that he no longer has colleagues at work. He doesn’t stop by to talk; he doesn’t call. He says that he doesn’t want to interrupt them. He says they’re “too busy on their e-mail.” But then he pauses and corrects himself. “I’m not telling the truth. I’m the one who doesn’t want to be interrupted. I think I should. But I’d rather just do things on my BlackBerry.”

A 16-year-old boy who relies on texting for almost everything says almost wistfully, “Someday, someday, but certainly not now, I’d like to learn how to have a conversation.”

In today’s workplace, young people who have grown up fearing conversation show up on the job wearing earphones. Walking through a college library or the campus of a high-tech start-up, one sees the same thing: we are together, but each of us is in our own

bubble, furiously connected to keyboards and tiny touch screens. A senior partner at a Boston law firm describes a scene in his office. Young associates lay out their suite of technologies: laptops, iPods and multiple phones. And then they put their earphones on. “Big ones. Like pilots. They turn their desks into cockpits.” With the young lawyers in their cockpits, the office is quiet, a quiet that does not ask to be broken.

In the silence of connection, people are comforted by being in touch with a lot of people — carefully kept at bay. We can’t get enough of one another if we can use technology to keep one another at distances we can control: not too close, not too far, just right. I think of it as a Goldilocks effect.

Texting and e-mail and posting let us present the self we want to be. This means we can edit. And if we wish to, we can delete. Or retouch: the voice, the flesh, the face, the body. Not too much, not too little — just right.

Human relationships are rich; they’re messy and demanding. We have learned the habit of cleaning them up with technology. And the move from conversation to connection is part of this. But it’s a process in which we shortchange ourselves. Worse, it seems that over time we stop caring, we forget that there is a difference.

We are tempted to think that our little “sips” of online connection add up to a big gulp of real conversation. But they don’t. E-mail, Twitter, Facebook, all of these have their places — in politics, commerce, romance and friendship. But no matter how valuable, they do not substitute for conversation.

Connecting in sips may work for gathering discrete bits of information or for saying, “I am thinking about you.” Or even for saying, “I love you.” But connecting in sips doesn’t work as well when it comes to understanding and knowing one another. In conversation we tend to one another. (The word itself is kinetic; it’s derived from words that mean to move, together.) We can attend to tone and nuance. In conversation, we are called upon to see things from another’s point of view.

FACE-TO-FACE conversation unfolds slowly. It teaches patience. When we communicate on our digital devices, we learn different habits. As we ramp up the volume and velocity of online connections, we start to expect faster answers. To get these, we ask one another simpler questions; we dumb down our communications, even on the most important matters. It is as though we have all put ourselves on cable news. Shakespeare might have said, “We are consum’d with that which we were nourish’d by.”

And we use conversation with others to learn to converse with ourselves. So our flight from conversation can mean diminished chances to learn skills of self-reflection. These days, social media continually asks us what’s “on our mind,” but we have little

motivation to say something truly self-reflective. Self-reflection in conversation requires trust. It’s hard to do anything with 3,000 Facebook friends except connect.

As we get used to being shortchanged on conversation and to getting by with less, we seem almost willing to dispense with people altogether. Serious people muse about the future of computer programs as psychiatrists. A high school sophomore confides to me that he wishes he could talk to an artificial intelligence program instead of his dad about dating; he says the A.I. would have so much more in its database. Indeed, many people tell me they hope that as Siri, the digital assistant on Apple’s iPhone, becomes more advanced, “she” will be more and more like a best friend — one who will listen when others won’t.

During the years I have spent researching people and their relationships with technology, I have often heard the sentiment “No one is listening to me.” I believe this feeling helps explain why it is so appealing to have a Facebook page or a Twitter feed — each provides so many automatic listeners. And it helps explain why — against all reason — so many of us are willing to talk to machines that seem to care about us. Researchers around the world are busy inventing sociable robots, designed to be companions to the elderly, to children, to all of us.

One of the most haunting experiences during my research came when I brought one of these robots, designed in the shape of a baby seal, to an elder-care facility, and an older woman began to talk to it about the loss of her child. The robot seemed to be looking into her eyes. It seemed to be following the conversation. The woman was comforted.

And so many people found this amazing. Like the sophomore who wants advice about dating from artificial intelligence and those who look forward to computer psychiatry, this enthusiasm speaks to how much we have confused conversation with connection and collectively seem to have embraced a new kind of delusion that accepts the simulation of compassion as sufficient unto the day. And why would we want to talk about love and loss with a machine that has no experience of the arc of human life? Have we so lost confidence that we will be there for one another?

WE expect more from technology and less from one another and seem increasingly drawn to technologies that provide the illusion of companionship without the demands of relationship. Always-on/always-on-you devices provide three powerful fantasies: that we will always be heard; that we can put our attention wherever we want it to be; and that we never have to be alone. Indeed our new devices have turned being alone into a problem that can be solved.

When people are alone, even for a few moments, they fidget and reach for a device. Here connection works like a symptom, not a cure, and our constant, reflexive impulse to connect shapes a new way of being.

Think of it as “I share, therefore I am.” We use technology to define ourselves by sharing our thoughts and feelings as we’re having them. We used to think, “I have a feeling; I want to make a call.” Now our impulse is, “I want to have a feeling; I need to send a text.”

So, in order to feel more, and to feel more like ourselves, we connect. But in our rush to connect, we flee from solitude, our ability to be separate and gather ourselves. Lacking the capacity for solitude, we turn to other people but don’t experience them as they are. It is as though we use them, need them as spare parts to support our increasingly fragile selves.

We think constant connection will make us feel less lonely. The opposite is true. If we are unable to be alone, we are far more likely to be lonely. If we don’t teach our children to be alone, they will know only how to be lonely.

I am a partisan for conversation. To make room for it, I see some first, deliberate steps. At home, we can create sacred spaces: the kitchen, the dining room. We can make our cars “device-free zones.” We can demonstrate the value of conversation to our children. And we can do the same thing at work. There we are so busy communicating that we often don’t have time to talk to one another about what really matters. Employees asked for casual Fridays; perhaps managers should introduce conversational Thursdays. Most of all, we need to remember — in between texts and e-mails and Facebook posts — to listen to one another, even to the boring bits, because it is often in unedited moments, moments in which we hesitate and stutter and go silent, that we reveal ourselves to one another.

I spend the summers at a cottage on Cape Cod, and for decades I walked the same dunes that Thoreau once walked. Not too long ago, people walked with their heads up, looking at the water, the sky, the sand and at one another, talking. Now they often walk with their heads down, typing. Even when they are with friends, partners, children, everyone is on their own devices.

So I say, look up, look at one another, and let’s start the conversation.

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shiningdesignersreflections · 7 days ago

Text

Chapter 1: Flawed Item

Narrated by Chestnut.

Captain: At east! Attention! Salute!

Narrator: At daybreak, the royal guard of honor has already finished assembly and begun their training.

Narrator: Queen Lilibet arrived in town just a few days ago, and ever since then, everyone has been busy preparing themselves for the Queen's inauguration.

Narrator: We, the guard of honor, have all eyes on us because we are regarded as the country's highest level of honor.

Narrator: And I'm a proud member of the guard.

Narrator: Everything needs to be perfect... from the way the conductors waves his baton and how we carry ourselves, to whether our respective winders align in angle.

Narrator: The training hasn't been the easiest, but we all understand that the only performance befitting our beautiful Queen Lilibet is a perfect one.

You: Is your queen beautiful?

Narrator: You bet! I've only seen her once from afar, but she is...

Benjamin: She's absolutely gorgeous! She stood for a good 10 seconds today on the floor that I'd mopped!

Narrator: Wearing the same colorful uniform of the guard as we do, Benjamin carries his mop and water bucket as he walks past me.

Narrator: What's different about him, however, is that he can't walk as fast as the rest of us, and sometimes he just pauses and stops walking altogether.

You: What's up with him?

Narrator: Apparently the craftsman who made us was on a tight schedule, and Benjamin was the last guard from our array to have been made.

Narrator: When the craftsman was about to make him, he'd run out of the material to make Benjamin a winder for a heart.

Narrator: In other words, Benjamin has defects.

Narrator: Being defective prevents him from joining us for practice. Do you see how we're missing a corner in our array? That's where Benjamin should be.

Narrator: Folk from our array have grown even more openly ruthless towards Benjamin ever since our captain assigned him janitorial work.

Mocking Guard: Did you go and mop the floor again, Benjamin?

Benjamin: I mopped the floor right in front of Her Majesty's palace today. She walked twice there, back and forth!

Narrator: Benjamin stands tall and looks serious. Despite missing part of his heart, Benjamin is no less loyal to and fervent about the Queen than his counterparts.

Mocking Guard: Oh, is that so? Did you see Her Majesty today, then?

Benjamin: I didn't dare look straight at her, but I saw her strings when she was turning around...

Benjamin: My, those were some beautiful strings, each and every single one of them was blindingly glorious...

Narrator: The other guards burst out laughing. Benjamin, however, is totally oblivious and still rambling on about the Queen.

Captain: Cut it out and line up already! Her Majesty has summoned us for an audience!

Narrator: Captain quickly assembles us for an audience with the Queen, leaving Benjamin standing there and seeing us off with those jealous eyes of his.

You: Poor guy...

Narrator: Yeah...

Narrator: Benjamin is left standing there all by himself. The thought that the floor he's just mopped clean is going to be stepped over makes me a little sad.

Narrator: To everyone's surprise, the summoned guard comes back with good news for Benjamin...

Benjamin: Chestnut, have you heard? Her Majesty has allowed me to join the performing array!

Chestnut: Yes, congratulations!

Narrator: Her Majesty is apparently not quite happy with our formation. While the array's performance is impeccable as is, it's missing a corner without Benjamin, which is seen as intolerable for the Queen's inauguration.

Narrator: And that's why Benjamin has been allowed to join us for practice. He only just finished telling me about the good news when the captain calls him out.

Captain: You were standing at the wrong place. Over there is where you should be standing.

Narrator: The captain points at a corner at the very end of the array. Benjamin, however, doesn't mind at all and quickly runs over to his assigned position. Seeing Benjamin limping, the captain lets out a heavy sigh.

Captain: He never would have stood a chance of joining us if we hadn't needed him to complete the formation... I don't like where this is going.

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

#benjamin #shining nikki #chapter 1 #transcript #ssr designer #flawed item #toy #soldier #doll kingdom #disabled #queen #guard of honor

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juletheghoul · 4 years ago

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Dulcis (Part I)

This is my formal submission to The Pit™️ (so much filth)

This is going to be a two part series! It doesn't end here

(I know this might not be everyone's cup of tea since it is about infidelity. Reader is engaged and David is married. Please feel free to skip this if that doesn't interest you!)

Dave (Murder Daddy) York x F!Reader

Pairing: David York x F!Reader

Word Count: 12K (are we even surprised at this point)

Warnings: **TRIGGER WARNING** NSFW 18+ INFIDELITY! (reader is engaged, David is married) language, Smut, PIV sex (wrap it up), dirty talk, **daddy kink** oral (m receiving / mentions of female receiving) vaginal fingering (in a public space), praise & aftercare, guilt?- let me know if I missed any!

Masterlist Part 2

---

“Alright who’s up first?” They all looked away from you, they always do this when they have to present their projects. It’s understandable, you could remember doing it when you were in school.

“If no one volunteers I’ll have to pick someone.” You smiled sympathetically. You saw a couple of your braver students raise their hands. Once the first student went the others saw that like always- it wasn’t so bad.

You managed to get through all of them before lunch which, as a second grade teacher, was a miracle.

They were a little rowdy during the lunch hour but that was to be expected. You used the much needed break to gather your things for the math work that had to be done after recess.

You felt your phone vibrating in your pocket and you checked your messages- there were two from your fiancé Charlie.

Can’t we just elope?

Hi by the way

You could have killed him, you sighed, smiling as you quickly responded to him.

No, hi! Don’t make me say I told you so while I’m at work, I take it your hunt for the tux isn’t going so well?

You had suggested eloping right when he’d proposed, a big wedding wasn’t something you needed. A trip to the courthouse and a nice dinner after would have been just fine with you.

It’s bullshit, lol I fucking hate shopping - I’ll figure it out, have a great day at work, love you xo

You quickly put your phone away at the commotion in class.

Two of the kids were arguing, it was getting intense and you had no idea what caused it.

“Okay you two settle down, finish your lunch - recess-“

One of the students suddenly punched the other square in the face. It was a practised, precise thing and it shocked you.

“Alice! We do not hit.” You didn’t yell it but you used a tone that silenced all the children. You quickly made your way over to them, Jacob was bleeding from the nose and you called the school nurse to come get him. Calling the principal after to let her know what happened.

“Alice, you’re staying inside during recess with me, that was unacceptable. I’m going to have to call your parents. You know we don’t fix things by fighting.” You spoke to her in a neutral tone, trying to keep the anger out.

“But he-“ you cut her off.

“No, none of that. We’ll discuss this with your parents.” You didn’t want to hear it, you looked through your desk for the contact sheet to call while the kids played outside. She sat at her desk quietly, watching you through sad eyes.

“Hi, I’m looking for David York? I’m Alice York’s teacher and I need to speak to him please.” The receptionist sounded wary, she asked for your name and the name of the school and you provided the information. You waited for him to pick up but the receptionist came back and informed you that Mr. York was currently away from his desk but that she would leave a message. Hopefully Mrs York would pick him.

“Hi is this Carol York? Hello Mrs York, yes I’m calling about Alice? Yes that’s right, no she’s fine there’s no emergency but I do have to ask you and your husband to come in for a meeting with me tonight. Well there’s been an incident…” You explained what happened and she was very apologetic, agreeing to come to see you right after work.

You quickly texted Charlie to let him know you’d be late.

******

Alice didn’t give you any more trouble for the rest of the day, Jacob had a bit of a bloody nose but overall he was okay.

The day went smoothly and as all of the children went home you had Alice sit and colour while you both waited for her parents. You didn’t have to wait long.

Your head lifted at the soft knock at your door, you saw an apologetic looking woman and her very bored looking husband.

“Hello, we’re so sorry! I’m Carol and this is my husband David, Alice come here and explain yourself.” She walked over to your desk to shake your hand. David followed reluctantly.

“What happened kiddo?” He asked her as she approached.

“Jacob took my notebook and wouldn’t give it back.” She looked at her mother ashamed.

“We don’t hit you know that! I’m so sorry about this - we’ll have a talk with her when we get home.” She sat at the chairs you gestured to - you noticed David’s face as Alice spoke. A sly smile, quickly wiped away to look stern. Was he proud of her?

You agreed with the need to stick up for yourself but taking a notebook was hardly a reason for two second graders to resort to a brawl. He saw you looking at him and he nodded sagely.

“We’re very sorry about this.” He wasn’t sorry.

You took him in as Carol spoke to Alice in hushed tones on her lap, he was an imposing man, tall and broad. He wore a suit and for all the world looked like a professional but there was something about him that made you blush. You had the vague sense that he was undressing you with his eyes and it made your heart race. He was very handsome, but in a sinister way.

“Never again right Alice?” You spoke to her before turning your attention to her parents. “She’ll have detention for the next two days, no recess, but I won’t keep her after school.” You spoke as neutrally as you could with Mr York's eyes boring into you. You could almost feel them burning you.

“Yes of course, that’s not a problem. We will talk about this when we get home, young lady.” Carol spoke half to you and half to her daughter. David continued to stare.

You were thankful this would be it and were just getting ready to guide them to the door when he spoke.

“How are her grades otherwise? Is she doing well?” He said it in a low tone.

You could learn to crave that voice.

Get a fucking grip

“They’re good, she’s a great student otherwise, got an A on her book report today. Just have to remember to keep our hands to ourselves right?” You smiled warmly at her, doing your best to not look him in the eye.

“That’s great to hear, thank you so much for reaching out - please feel free to contact me for anything.” Carol started gathering Alice’s things.

David continued to stare at you, you saw him boldly look you up and down as you walked around your desk to see them out. Carol was too busy getting Alice into her jacket to see him.

He looked at you like she wasn’t even there.

He smirked as he swiped his thumb across his bottom lip, his gaze focused on the length of your dress. Your eyes widened at the nerve of him, absolutely no regard for his wife or his daughter.

He was devouring you with his eyes and you did absolutely nothing to stop him. You flushed - whether from disgust or excitement you’d never know but it did not deter him. He clapped his hands together and thanked you for your time.

Your heart hammering even after they’d left.

**********

The music was blaring when you walked through the door to your little apartment. You could hear Charlie singing along as he pulled something that smelled absolutely divine out of the oven.

“Hey babe! I made dinner, I got home a bit early.” He kissed you hello as he put the lasagne on the table.

“Oh god that smells good.” You smiled as you all but dropped everything to sit and eat with him.

You both discussed how your respective days had gone, about what you both had to do and like almost every conversation you’d had during the past seven months- it ended up on the wedding. If you were honest the whole thing was starting to grate on your nerves.

You’d always known the two of you were going to get married. From the first time you saw him, he was so handsome and sweet and he seemed to live his life in order to make you happy. The wedding however, it seemed all wrong. The both of you were simple, you were the kind of people who didn’t make a big fuss.

This wedding was a big fuss.

“My mom says she’s paying for the flowers, I insisted that it wasn’t necessary, that it didn’t matter but she pushed- and you know my sister wants to help with something.” Charlie was notoriously easy going so you took his ‘insisting’ with a grain of salt.

“Your family would pay for the whole wedding if we let them.” You prodded gently, his family seemed to want this wedding more than you did. It was overwhelming.

“They just want grandchildren, they think the faster we get married the faster I’ll get you pregnant.” He laughed, you’d talked about children before and you both wanted them but you’d decided to wait a little bit. You both wanted to enjoy married life.

While showering after having cleaned up, your mind curiously wanders to a place you didn’t expect.

You were thinking about Mr York. You didn’t even really know why - yes he was handsome but it was more than that. He was intriguing, he seemed dangerous somehow.

That was surprising, why should he be dangerous? Charlie pulled back the curtain pulling you sharply out of your reverie, and scaring you half to death.

“Sorry!” He laughed as he got in with you. You felt guilty, like you’d been caught but he mistook your guilty look for fear.

“You scared the fuck out of me!” You tried to keep your heart from bursting out of your chest as you stepped into the water, rinsing the shampoo out of your hair.

You felt Charlie’s hands circle your waist as he laughed.

“Sorry babe, I didn’t mean to.” He kissed your shoulder as he joined you under the hot spray, his hands roaming over the soft skin of your belly. They slipped over your soapy skin, up towards your breasts. You closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling of his fingers as they pinched and plucked at your nipples the way he knew you liked.

He continued with his exploration, running one hand down under it, spreading your folds and honing in on your clit. Gliding over it over and over until you were panting, the other hand still on your breast. You closed your eyes as you leaned your head back onto his shoulder - your hands finding themselves in his hair.

“Faster- please” You were almost there, it was so good and the thought came to you out of nowhere. You imagine for a split second that it was Mr York in the shower with you instead of your fiancé. His fingers between your legs, his cock rubbing up against your ass and you came harder than you had any right to. Your fingers clutching at Charlie’s hair almost painfully tight.

He kissed your shoulder and turned you around to kiss you on the mouth to take it further but the guilt wouldn’t let you. You needed a few minutes to get your shit together.

“Babe, let’s wait until we’re in bed- I’m not really feeling shower sex right now.” You kissed him softly and pulled away.

“Okay honey.” He smiled at you, complacent even though his dick was hard and leaking precum, weirdly this annoyed you.

Charlie was a sexual guy, he enjoyed it. That you knew, and you couldn’t exactly complain about your sex life. He was attentive and he did his best to make you cum, he took direction well and you had no complaints about his size.

The problem was, Charlie was vanilla.

Sex was three positions if that and he barely talked at all. You had tried to get him to be a little more open and adventurous but he always reverted to his regular routine. Most of the time it was fine, you both got off and you loved him.

Sometimes however, you wanted more. You wanted excitement, you wanted passion. You wanted filth.

Charlie was sweet. You could live with sweet.

He was snoring beside you peacefully, he’d coaxed another orgasm out of you once you both got into bed. The guilt kept you awake though, because you’d imagined Mr York the whole time.

————————-

“I need all of the information you can find on this woman.” David gave your name to his contact, he had to know.

He asked Alice a few probing questions but didn’t want to push it. He didn’t need her telling her mother offhandedly that he’d been curious about you.

He had your name and place of employment, for his line of work - that was more than enough. You were a pretty thing and he was intrigued. He knew you’d seen him, he’d made sure of it. He’d also noticed you looking at him, as much as you tried not to. Saw the gorgeous flush creep it’s way up your neck when he stared at your legs.

He had to get close to you, see if his instincts were right.

He had a full report on you within the hour, he saw that you’d been teaching for about five years. That you were a few years younger than him, engaged, parents on the other side of the country, decent credit score.

All he had to figure out now was how to make his move.

————————

“Remember to show your parents your agendas! We have a trip coming up and I need everyone’s parents or guardians to sign the forms I put in them. Please do not forget. Have a great day and I’ll see you tomorrow.” The kids were frantically packing away their things as the bell wrung, you still watched them as you packed up your things. You had to remember to ask for volunteers in their agendas tomorrow- maybe you could call a few of the more friendlier parents.

A knock at the door made you jump what felt like a foot off the ground. Turning around and seeing who was there did absolutely nothing to calm you down.

“Mr York, what can I do for you?” You tried to speak as calmly as possible. Willing yourself to sound natural and nonchalant.

He walked over to you and it vaguely felt like you were being hunted. His quiet made you uneasy and your anxiety pushed you to fill the empty air with conversation.

“Everything okay with Mrs York? I hope Alice isn’t still in trouble?” He was in your personal space and it was difficult to breathe. He was so big, so tall, his eyes impossibly bright with what looked like mischief.

Never in all your time together has Charlie ever looked at you with this kind of intensity.

Annoyingly, it made you wet.

“They’re fine.” He licked his lips as he stared down at you, the bottom one was full and you had the wild urge to bite it.

What the hell is wrong with me?

You kept backing away from him slowly and he kept pressing forward, you didn’t know what to do or what he wanted but he was overwhelming you.

“I know you saw me looking at you.” He watched your mouth as he spoke and you felt like you couldn’t get your thoughts in order.

“I - I’m engaged…” You blurted it out but either he didn’t register or he didn’t care.

“And I’m married.” He got a little closer, there was a crackling of electricity between the two of you and the tingle of it seemed to be focused on your nipples and your clit. He brought his hand up and traced his thumb over your bottom lip boldly and the act shocked you into complacency, it grounded you on the spot. He saw the shock and excitement in your eyes and he probed a bit to see how far you would go.

“I thought about you. When I fucked her.”

You short circuited, your brain was a puddle and your cunt clenched. You involuntarily let out a gasp at his confession and it brought to mind the thoughts you’d had while with Charlie. You were dripping into your panties.

He pushed his thumb into your mouth a fraction and it was like a damn broke, without even knowing why or stopping to consider the consequences you took his thumb into your mouth and sucked. Hollowing out your cheeks prettily.

He groaned, bringing his thumb back out and spreading your saliva onto your lips.

He came close and you prepared yourself for a kiss but he licked your top lip, so fast you would have missed it. You gasped and he let go. Walking out the door as you caught your breath.

—————

The shame followed you like a shadow, it surrounded you as you drove home in silence.

Charlie’s face haunting you as you felt your arousal soaking your panties. You tried to justify the unjustifiable as you pulled into the parking garage of your building, telling yourself that it was a weird hallucination. You hadn’t actually sucked this man's thumb at the school like a whore. No.

Charlie was sitting on the couch going over the seating arrangement when you walked in. You dropped all of your things and walked over to him, you needed to rewrite your excitement somehow. Transfer it onto Charlie.

“Hey babe-“ you cut him off by plopping down onto his lap, and kissing him silent. He was momentarily stunned but he dropped everything and held onto you.

“You okay?” He asked smiling as he pulled away, you didn’t answer, you hastily pulled up his shirt - trying to get him to join you in your urgency.

“I want you, I’ve been thinking about you fucking me and I want to ride your cock, right here on the couch.” You lied into his ear, poisoned honey dripping from your mouth. You heard him gasp and felt him hardening beneath you.

“Jesus Christ…” Charlie wasn’t much of a dirty talk kind of guy, you wanted him to be but he always said it felt awkward. You usually didn’t push it but today Mr York’s words were branded into your brain.

“My pussy is so wet for you baby.” Another lie, but never mind that.

He groaned but didn’t say anything and it was frustrating, you needed the release however and you let it pass. You imagined Mr York saying some truly filthy things in your ear and it made you feel guilty but you couldn’t help yourself.

He let you work out your excitement and after you both hit your peak you got up and headed for the bedroom. You saw him sitting on the couch, half naked and blissed out as you walked away.

You prodded him gently when you were curled up in bed.

“Charlie, did you like what we did today? On the couch?” You wanted to ease into it.

“Yes, we’ve had sex on the couch before, I always enjoy it with you.” He kissed your forehead.

“Did you like the things I said?” You drew little patterns on his chest as you laid in the dark.

“They were pretty intense, I didn’t not like them?” You could almost feel him blushing, you tried hard not to sigh. You were going to spend the rest of your lives together there was no need to be shy.

“Why don’t you ever talk to me like that when we fuck?” You could feel him trying to retreat but you didn’t want to let him. “There’s no need to be shy around me, we’re going to get married, we should be open.” He wasn’t having any of it.

“I don’t know honey you know I get awkward, just not something I’m comfortable with I guess.”

“Maybe we could get some books or take a class or something? So many different things we could try and I want to try them with you.” You were trying to open him up, you didn’t want to imagine a life of predictable repetitive sex - no matter how much you loved him.

“Maybe, let’s revisit it again at some point. Goodnight honey.” He kissed your forehead again and turned so you were spooning him. You tried to be understanding, you tried to think about respecting his boundaries but all you came up with was Mr York’s thumb in your mouth.

———————————-

“David- David!” His head snapped back to the sound. Carol was standing in front of him with an exasperated look on her face.

“David what is going on? I’ve been calling you for the last ten minutes.” He was thinking of you.

“Sorry honey, my head is still at work. What's going on?” He gave her his most convincing smile and she shook her head, amused.

“Dinners ready, the girls want to tell you about their day. Come on, I made your favourite.” She smiled sweetly as she left his home office. The smile disappeared as fast as it’d been conjured.

---

“How was school today girls?” He couldn’t ask about you outright, had to dance around it.

“It was good, learning about the solar system.” His eldest, Molly. He smiled and asked her how she liked it, she talked about it excitedly and he enjoyed her enthusiasm.

“What about you Alice, how was school today?” His youngest was shy, but he could see his personality in her. A little more intense, a little more reserved.

“Good, we have a field trip next week.” There it is.

“That sounds nice, where are you going?” A field trip - this could do nicely.

“Museum, I have the form in my bag. I need you to sign it.” So many shadowy corners in a museum.

“Go get the form sweetheart, I don’t want to forget.” Carol prompted her.

She came back with it a few minutes later and David held it in his hands. He saw a little note on the form that made him smile despite himself.

Chaperones are always needed - please call to volunteer.

“What do you think about me volunteering for this? I could take a day and it would be nice to take some interest.” He took her hand in his and smiled warmly, looking for all the world to be a devoted father.

“Honey, that's a great idea. I’ll call tomorrow and let them know.” She was happy, and David was happy.

----

The night before a school trip always made you nervous. So many variables - it was hard enough to control a class full of seven and eight year olds in a classroom let alone in a museum. At least a couple of parents had volunteered, you saw Mrs York on the form and it made your heart skip. You imagined she’d be able to see every thought you’d had about her husband on your face.

You fell asleep thinking about him.

---

“Okay kids, let’s settle down. The bus will be here soon and I need to make sure everyone has their buddies. What’s the rule?” You asked over the excited din.

“Stay with your buddy!” They all said it in unison.

“Exactly! Now we will be there all day, we have a lot to see, you can leave your backpacks here. We’re going to have lunch there and we’ll be back in time for those of you who take the bus home. You can have a little free time while we wait for the buses.” They instantly grouped together to chat excitedly while you made sure you had everything in order. There were a couple of parents and you gave them wristbands to put on the children.

“Sorry I’m a few minutes late.” Mr York was walking into your classroom in casual clothes. What the hell was he doing here?

“Hello Mr York, you’re right on time. Where’s Mrs York? I thought she had volunteered?” You tried to ask the question neutrally but he could see the panic in your eyes.

“It was always me, whoever took her phone call must have made a mistake.” He spoke gently but it did something to you. You felt his eyes roaming your body and you flushed.

Great, this is going to be just great.

You did your best to centre your breathing while you led the children down the hall and to the buses. You could feel his eyes on you as you made your way down the hall. You did your best to ignore it.

The students lined up in front of the bus in pairs and you quickly went over the rules again - making sure to look at the three parents who were going with you. You noticed David talking to Alice, telling her to behave today and that he’d be helping you take care of the class.

Two of the parents got in first to sit at the back, Mr York waited until you got on, you were trying to focus but you couldn’t. You could feel him standing close to you and you were beginning to sweat.

You meant to sit alone but he followed closely behind you and pushed his way to the same seat as you. He took up so much space and you didn’t want to make a big fuss in front of the kids.

The bus driver closed the door and you were on your way. It would be about forty-five minutes to an hour until you got there and it hit you then how absolutely fucked you were.

The kids were excited and chatty and the din of them talking and laughing drowned out everything. You decided to focus your attention on the window and the scenery. You did not want to focus on Mr York. He was having none of it though.

“I like your dress.” He spoke into your ear and you shivered.

“Look Mr York-“

“Call me David.” He looked down at your slight cleavage and you sighed angrily.

“Look David, I don’t know what it is you think is going on but I am engaged. I am engaged to be married and you are the married father of one of my students. I would appreciate it if you could keep your interactions with me strictly professional.” You whispered angrily, trying to sound serious. He smiled pleasantly at you as if you were old friends catching up.

“Is that what you would call sucking my thumb? Professional? It seemed like you wished it was something else you’d been sucking.” His words went directly to your cunt. You saw it then, him sitting with that amused look on his face as you kneeled in front of him, with his cock in your mouth like a good girl.

Charlie.

You were in love with and about to marry Charlie.

He saw the look on your face and he smiled-

“What’s your fiancé’s name?” How dare he?

“His name is Charlie and I love him.” Why did you feel the need to explain this to him?

“That may be true, but I get the feeling that Charlie doesn’t quite know how to fuck you. Or you wouldn’t be licking your lips at the thought of my cock in your mouth. Is that it baby? You haven’t been fucked properly? I can fix that.” His words had you dripping. Charlie had never spoken to you like this and it made you so angry to compare them right now.

You closed your eyes and let the words pass over you, you had to focus. You couldn’t let this admittedly handsome, intimidating man come into your life and lay waste. He took your silence as a sign that he was right.

You felt his fingers ghost over your thigh and you felt like you’d been struck by lightning. Your eyes shot to his hand and to your shame, you hoped for something forbidden. He watched you closely.

“I think about you all the time and something tells me that you think about me too. Think about what I could do or say to get you wet enough for me to glide right in. Have you ride my cock, have your tits bouncing in my face.” His hand gripped your thigh and you whimpered slightly, involuntarily angling your body towards him.

“He doesn’t know what you need.” He hand travelled up up up ghosting along your seam, just enough to drive you insane through your panties and you put your head onto his shoulder. He stopped then and took his hand away and you came back to reality.

The guilt hit you like a tsunami and you squeezed yourself closer to the window, trying for all the world to make yourself smaller, and in turn the distance between you bigger.

He smiled and sat quietly for the rest of the ride to the museum.

——————-

The relief you felt when the bus pulled in was astonishing and you had to hold yourself back from barreling over David to get away. You felt him chuckling as you struggled to get away and you held back the urge to slap him across the face by the grace of god.

“Okay class, let’s get together with our buddies and head over to our first exhibit. If you have any questions please feel free to ask our helpers or myself. What’s the rule?”

“Stick with your buddy!” They yelled it out again.

“Exactly, that means even if you have to use the restroom you go with your buddies. Please ask one of the parents or me before you go.” You were back in your element now and it felt better. You were back in teacher mode and you told yourself that you could do this.

The morning went by relatively smoothly, you had all of the children wrangled and you made your way through the exhibits without issue. You were thankful that David kept his distance from you, he helped the children and you saw him doting on his daughter.

You had decided to block out what happened on the bus. It never happened.

By noon the kids were getting feral, you guided everyone up to the cafeteria and had them sit so the adults could grab everyone their food in shifts. All in all it went pretty smoothly and you had managed to put the whole incident out of your mind.

You let one of the parents know that you were going to sneak away to use the bathroom while the kids were all in one place and she told you to take your time.

You can do this, you told yourself as you stared at your reflection in the mirror.

You were blindsided when you came out of the bathroom, a hand covering your mouth and pulling you away into a closed off exhibit. The panic shot through you like lightning and you tried to fight your attacker off - visions of Charlie flashed through your mind, of the wedding, of your family; your students. His voice didn’t calm you.

“Stop fighting, it’s just me.” His tone suggested that this should have calmed you. It did not.

It pissed you off and once you regained your composure and stopped squirming, he loosened his grip. It gave you the opening you needed and you slapped him across the face - or you would have, but his hand shot up cat-quick and grabbed your wrist before your hand could meet its target.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” You were seething, the audacity of this man to put his hands on you. You were trying to hold the anger close- bringing it to the forefront of your mind so as to eclipse the excitement. That had no place here... right?

Why are you so fucking excited?

Why does it feel like you’ve never known this kind of excitement until now?

Get it the fuck together, think of Charlie.

“I am going to make you cum.” Those words were thrown out into the air like they meant nothing. Like it was simply a chore to be completed off a list.

He was getting closer. His movements brought to mind the wildlife documentaries that Charlie liked to watch, you could see the big jungle cat slowly stalking towards the gazelle. If you were home and watching this scene unfold on the screen, you would be yelling at yourself to run.

You couldn’t make your legs move, worse still - you didn’t really want to.

Instead you stood there, silent and unmoving. Waiting for the jungle cat to pounce on you, waiting for him to crush your neck with strong jaws and long claws.

Why were you so wet?

“I’m going to pull that short little dress up, and I’m going to make you cum with my fingers. Would you like that baby? You want me to make that little pussy cum?” He was in your space now, towering over you and you couldn’t look away. Your breath was coming hard at the filth pouring out of his mouth.

Charlie never spoke to you this way.

You felt the wall and you realised he’d been herding you, exactly where he wanted you. You looked up at him through your lashes- god he’s so tall, so broad - and his arms came up to rest on either side of your head, essentially caging you in. The heat was rolling off him, was it heat? Or was it your own excitement? You’d never be able to tell, all you knew for certain is that you were dripping. You were feral and you couldn’t stop looking at his mouth. He smiled as he leaned in close, his breath ghosting over your neck as he spoke right into your ear.

“Do you want me to? Do you want me to make you cum baby?” the low tone, the proximity, the wrongness of it. You would never admit it after but you nodded, almost imperceptibly. His smile for you then was genuine.

It felt like his hands were charged with electricity, those wands that they had at science centers that made your skin tingle. You felt it, as his fingers softly skimmed your thigh as they travelled up to your soaked center. He touched the damp spot on your panties and chuckled, then moved them aside swiftly to part your folds. You gasped when he glided his finger over your clit, over and over and over, the pressure far too light.

Your own hands found their way up to clutch at his shirt, you didn’t want to admit that you were holding him close to you. That you didn’t want him to pull away.

“Open up for me baby.” he bit at your ear as he lifted your leg to wrap around his hip, you were spread open for him while he wrapped his arm around your waist to grab at your ass. He was doing this to you during a school trip. This was a low you never thought you’d sink to.

“Just as I thought, look how wet you are - and how tight-” He slid two fingers into you and you moaned, they were thick and you were so turned on it hurt. “Don’t worry baby I’m going to take care of you, make you cum, fuck this tight pussy with my fingers - have to cum fast for me okay? We have to get back. Can you do that? Can you cum for me?” He was kissing your neck and licking your pulse point.

“Answer me, or I'll stop, be a good girl for me.” His fingers pulled out and you whimpered - grabbing at his forearm to pull it back because you needed to cum. He brought his fingers up to your mouth and you looked into his eyes as he rubbed your arousal onto your lips. Your knees almost gave out at the depravity of it, in public. While your students and the other parents waited for you. He was expecting an answer.

“Yes.” Your face was beet red and flushed and the word sealed your fate. He kissed you, rough and fast and it took your breath right out of your lungs. His tongue licked your slick off your lips and plundered your mouth while he fulfilled his promise. His fingers diving back into you, this time with the addition of his thumb on your clit.

You could vaguely hear the wet squelch of your cunt as he sped up. It was so good, it was everything and all you needed was a little push to finally leap into the abyss.

“Come on baby, you’re so fucking wet for me. I think you can take another finger.” The noises were obscene and the stretch was so good - he curled his fingers and touched something white hot and it made you cry out a little louder than you should have. His hand came up and clamped over your mouth and the filth came again. “There it is- that’s what you like right baby? Come on, cum for daddy.” You fell apart then. It was disgusting and you’d never cum this hard in your life.

You were vaguely aware of him fixing your clothes, of him licking every drop of your slick from his fingers.

You were blissed out as you walked back to the table on shaky legs, the guilt creeped in though as you slowly drifted back down to reality, you’d been gone for longer than you thought.

“Sorry about that - we got completely turned around, this place is a maze huh?” Dave spoke, quelling the annoyed looks from the other parents and smoothing it out with practised charm.

You couldn’t bring yourself to look anyone in the eye.

-----

It was hard to focus for the remainder of the trip. You could feel his eyes on you as you wound your way around the different exhibits.

The turmoil between your brain and your body threatened to drive you into madness - you could still feel him inside you and it caused your heart to race, to excite you. Your brain was scolding you. How could you let him do that to you?

Oh Charlie

——

The bus ride back to the school was a bit better, one of the other parents sat beside you and it was as if you could almost pretend that everything was normal. Or you would have been able to - had you not been able to feel David's eyes boring into the back of your head. It was a long ride home.

The school busses were waiting when you pulled into the school and you had to hurry to get your kids to your classroom to get their things. After you made sure they were okay and on the bus you went about getting ready to go home. There was a text from an unknown number in your phone - you didn’t have to guess who it was from.

Be a good girl, and free up a couple of hours for me this Sunday. I will come and get you.

You answered before you could even contemplate what it meant.

Okay.

You didn’t even bother wondering how he would know where to go.

You sat in your car, in one of the parking spaces you and Charlie had. You could see his car next to yours and you had no idea how the hell you were going to walk in there and pretend nothing had happened. How could you have done this, moreover how could you have agreed to see David again?

I’ll tell him it has to stop. Whatever it was that we did it was a horrible mistake.

Your heart was racing as you got off the elevator, every step down the hallway was another lump of stone settling in the pit of your stomach. Charlie was in the shower when you got home - you could hear the water running and all you could think of was how you were sure he’d be able to see what you did written on your face. Another stone.

“Hey babe, how was the trip?” he was all smiles and the accusatory pointed finger in your face never came. Instead he walked over to you and hugged you tightly, little beads of water dripping from his hair onto your shoulder.

“It was good, how was your day?” His voice lulled you, made you want to forget everything you’d done and it was easier trying to put the whole thing out of your mind than think about it in front of Charlie. It was a stupid mistake and it wasn’t even worth remembering. On Sunday it would be fixed. You were going to tell David to fuck off and then everything would go back to normal.

“It was good - I was thinking we could go out for dinner tonight. What do you think?” He was all smiles, all sweetness.

“Sure babe.” You tried to be happy. You tried to focus, but you could still feel the stretch of David’s fingers when you moved.

----

I’ll be there in an hour, wear something pretty for me.

The text came in and your heart started racing. You had told Charlie that you were going to the school to prepare some work for tomorrow and he had just smiled and nodded. Told you to take your time - that he loved you.

You were determined to tell David that this was not going to become a thing. It was not going to escalate. You conveniently ignored the fact that you wore your cutest sundress, your sheer panties, the matching bra. It was a confidence thing. Nothing to do with David.

I’m here.

You practically ran out the door. It was to end things, you were in a hurry to end things. There was a big SUV waiting in the visitors parking lot and you saw him sitting, looking at his phone. He smiled when he saw you and you felt the butterflies in your stomach as you got into the front seat. He gave you a once over, the shortness of your dress, the fact that your hair was done - and smiled as he drove away from your building; from your life.

Tell him, tell him to turn around and to take you back home. To leave you alone forever.

“Where are we going?” Was what came out when you opened your mouth.

“Somewhere we can be alone.” Was all he said, his hand moved and rested on your thigh as he drove. You stared at it and to your shame and excitement, you didn’t move it away. He gripped your thigh possessively, stroking the inside of it and it made you ache.

Do it - move his hand away, tell him - go on.

You put your hand on his, but you couldn’t move it away. The heat from his big palm was seeping into your skin and instead you just pressed his hand with yours.

Pathetic.

You were in an abandoned parking garage a little while later and he parked in a far corner. Your blood was pumping and you were nervous. He unbuckled his seatbelt and moved his seat all the way back, so he was far away from the steering wheel.

“David, I don’t think-” You started speaking but he cut you off.

“Come over here.” He tapped his lap and your stomach dropped, you wanted to crawl over there so bad. You stared at him and he raised his eyebrows. “Are you going to be a brat? Come over here, if I have to ask again you’re going to be punished.” You felt the wave of arousal wash over you. What could he possibly mean? You didn’t want to find out - not yet anyway.

You crawled over the console awkwardly and sat in his lap, straddling him. He smiled at you and settled his hands on your thighs.

“Such a good girl for me, did you think about me?” He lifted your dress slightly and grabbed handfuls of your ass. You couldn’t help but groan, you could feel him hardening underneath you and you didn’t even register your hands coming up to wrap around his neck. They seemed to play with the hair at the nape of his neck on their own. How could he excite you so much? “Answer me baby, when I ask you a question you need to answer me.” He was kissing your neck, and slowly undoing the buttons of your sundress.

“Yes.” You breathed as he exposed your bra, the lace so fine it was completely transparent. He smiled as he studied you. Face flushed, dress bunched up around your thighs, lips parted.

“What did you think about?” He runs the pads of his fingers across the tops of your breasts as he speaks and you can’t even begin to rationalise why you’re doing this.

“I thought about you…” you tried to be coy but you knew he wouldn’t leave it there.

“What about me, did you think about me touching you? Tell me.” He separates his body from yours, you can see that he wants you to answer before he continues. You can feel your face getting flushed.

“I thought about what we did at the museum, your hands…” you unconsciously tried to get closer to him and he smiled. He smelled so good, you could feel his cock and it made you ache.

“You thought about my hands? Be specific, baby. Tell me what you thought about.” He started kissing the tops of your breasts, slowly making his way down, kissing every inch he could reach through the fabric. You could feel the slick pooling at your entrance, you knew what he wanted. Your mind briefly went back to Charlie, to how he was intimidated by dirty talk.

“I thought about how I could still feel your fingers in my pussy when I got home. They stretched me so good.” Your face was beet red and your skin was on fire. This was what he wanted. He rewarded you by pulling your bra down, exposing your breasts. Your nipples were hard and begging for his mouth and he obliged; pulling you close so he could wrap his lips around one. His mouth was hot and you could feel his teeth just a little. Just enough to make you moan.

“Such a good girl for me, now you get a reward for being so good for daddy.” He bit your nipple a little harder than you thought and there was a bit of pain but it felt so good you let out a breathy moan. You felt him sucking and in the back of your mind, you knew this would leave a mark. Warning bells were going off, he couldn’t leave a mark. Charlie couldn’t see this.

He let go of one nipple to give the same attention to the other - it was so good you had to clutch at the back of his head, you wanted him closer. All thoughts of the marks forgotten when his tongue felt so good.

“Does it feel good? How wet are you right now baby?” He honed in on your nipple again, holding your breasts in his big hands and alternating between the two.

“Yes, god yes - it feels so good. I’m so wet for you…” All you could do was watch, watch as he licked and licked and licked until you were dizzy from the pleasure. Until you thought you might faint, until your nipples were overly sensitive and you could see the hickeys and the little bite marks.

“Show me how wet you are.” He pulled off and let you scoot back a little, you pulled your dress up and he saw the wet patch on your underwear. It was so bad it had soaked through onto his lap. The bulge in his jeans- a little darker. He groaned and skimmed his knuckle against the damp spot at your core and you shuddered. You were so keyed up from the attention he’d given your breasts that it wouldn’t take much at this point.

He undid his jeans and pulled himself out - his cock was so thick, your eyes widened - momentarily nervous. This whole thing just became real. Touching and words could be justified as a temporary madness, you didn’t know what you were doing. Sex, letting him fuck you - that would be the final line to cross. He saw the hesitation in your eyes.

You watched his hand grasp his cock and slowly start to stroke it between your legs, a pearly bead of precum on the head before his thumb swiped through it. Using it to make the strokes more fluid. He let you watch - saw your tongue lick your lips and he let you make the choice.

He waited for you to make the choice, but he didn’t make it easy.

“You see baby? You see how hard you make daddy's cock? I think about you, about how pretty you would look with it in your mouth, in your throat. About you bouncing on it - fucking you deep. Fucking my cum into you until you’re full of me.” He was working himself up, you could hear the slick strokes and you clenched, you needed him inside you.

Wordlessly, you pulled your panties to the side and scooted closer.

“Tell me. Tell me what you want.” He didn’t stop stroking and you felt yourself getting desperate. You were about to let this married man fuck you in his car, in the middle of a parking garage in broad daylight. You couldn’t remember ever being this excited in your life.

“I want your cock, I want you to fuck me - please.” You were not above begging right now.

He was merciful - he pulled you closer and rubbed his cock through your folds once - then he slid inside. The stretch made you gasp. It hurt a little bit, even with how wet you were.

“Look how well you’re taking me baby, I know it’s a lot - so tight, god you feel so good.” He rested his head on your chest while he let you get accustomed. “Need to get you a little wetter, wet enough to take my big cock.” He focused on your nipples again, making you cry out. You were so full and your nipples were so sensitive you didn’t think you could take any more.

“Please - please move, please make me cum.” You were so overwhelmed you were on the verge of tears. He bucked up once and you gasped - he was pressed up against the spongy spot inside of you that made you see stars and you were moaning, you rolled your hips and as he bucked up into you and you knew the coil was about to snap. He snaked his hand down - pressing his thumb to your clit. Your slick was drenching his lap and you told him i’m gonna cum and he gripped your ass to really buck up and when you came he bit at your breast again.

“God you’re pussy gets so fucking wet when you cum, fuck - squeezing me so fucking tight, I’m going to think about this cunt later.” He came with a groan - open mouthed kisses on your breasts. You could feel his cum dripping out of you and you gave a silent prayer that you were on birth control.

You were not a virgin. You’d had sex before - you’d had good sex before. This wasn’t good sex. This was great sex -this was otherworldly and it scared you with how good you felt. Even with the bites and hickeys on your tits. How were you supposed to hide this? It was hard to feel the guilt when he was rubbing your back like this, when he was kissing your neck and loving you like this.

“You did so good baby - such a good girl for me.” He pulled you down to him by the back of your neck and he kissed you - his tongue running along the seam of your mouth. You granted him entrance and it was consuming, your hands gripped his hair and you clenched around him. He rewarded you with a groan into your mouth. Even with the guilt you couldn’t get close enough. His praise was like a tonic - you needed it and his kisses. You whimpered into his mouth and he knew. He knew what you needed. “My best girl, my beautiful girl. Took me so well, made me cum with that pretty pussy.” He kissed your neck and rubbed your back lovingly and you felt like a cat in a bright patch of sun under his praise. Cuddly and satiated as you burrowed into the crook of his neck.

“A few more minutes and then we have to go home.” He spoke into your hair as he let you take your comfort.

----

“You okay babe?” Charlie's voice startled you when you walked into the apartment, your tote bag full of school things, untouched on your shoulder.

“Yes - why?” You answered too quickly - you expected him to see everything written on your face. You could still feel David's cock inside you, his cum currently pooled in your panties. Could feel your breasts were a little sore from his attention and that excited you more than it had any right to.

“Nothing just looks like you’ve seen a ghost - did you get a lot done? I made dinner by the way - your favourite.” He smiled from the couch, he was playing video games which was good. Would mean he wouldn’t intrude on you in the bathroom. The guilt was hot and heavy in your gut but you plastered a smile on your face.

“Yeah, lots of activities planned for the kids tomorrow. Thanks babe- i’m going to shower quickly.” You smiled and came over to kiss him on the forehead quickly. Making sure not to linger too quickly. You had no idea if you smelled like David. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything.

“Okay honey, I’ll wait for you to eat.” He went back to his game.

----

This was not good.

You were staring at yourself in the mirror naked, your breasts were full of hickeys, little bruises. Your nipples were puffy from David’s mouth and the soreness between your legs was insistent. The tell tale heart only it was under your clothes instead of your floorboards.

How the fuck am I going to hide this?

The lips of your sex were sensitive when you washed, you kept replaying the whole thing over in your mind and you still couldn’t believe you’d done this. Not only had you done it, you’d enjoyed it immensely. His words, god his words.

You knew it was wrong, but you couldn’t help but compare them, Charlie and David. Polar opposites, especially in how they made you feel.

Charlie was dependable, he was home - pure comfort and love.

David was excitement, sex and filth and he made you so wet you couldn’t stand it. When he called you his good girl something inside you luxuriated, something was fulfilled that you didn't even realize needed fulfilling. You knew though, you knew this had to be a one time thing.

It couldn’t continue - you ignored that thing inside you that slithered, whispered that you couldn’t stop now - it was too good. You were really good at ignoring things it seemed.

It could have been considered cruel that Charlie’s blind acceptance of your excuse as to why you didn’t want to have sex annoyed you. You ignored that too.

---

David smiled at the wet spot on his jeans when pulled into his driveway.

You had been so responsive, so open to his touch. So receptive of his words and his actions.

The look on your face when he had your tits in his mouth had made him so painfully hard, he was rougher than he meant to be. His original plan had been to ease you into it - soft touches and soft words until he knew you were ready but that little dress, the sheer bra. You were going to be trouble and he couldn’t wait.

It was clear that whoever the jackass was you were engaged to - he wasn’t doing you justice. He wasn’t wringing pleasure out of you like he should be. He could see how much you had enjoyed his attention - even the roughness, the bites and the marking. Thinking about those marks and hickeys on your nipples excited him even now.

He was glad he was home alone - he could put his clothes to wash.

He had so many plans.

---

You managed to put David out of your mind when you went back to work. Your kids took up so much of your energy and it was nice to feel normal, you went so far as to delete his messages on your phone. Not before you saved his name as D, but nevermind that.

After a few days with no contact, you could almost pretend that you had hallucinated the whole thing. Until you saw the -thankfully- fading hickeys on your chest. You had told Charlie that you weren't feeling your best, that you wanted to keep your shirt on during your coupling and as always he agreed happily.

Seemed he could sense your inner peace, a message had come through late in the week while you were on your lunch break.

Free up Saturday night, be ready by 8

Your heart was racing, you could feel it in your clit. You didn’t answer, you wanted to make sure you could actually get away before responding but he didn’t like that. Another text came through.

I expect an answer.

Okay.

You texted back quickly.

Okay what…?

Oh god - you knew what he wanted you to write and it felt so wrong, so dirty but it excited you so much.

Okay daddy.

You blushed and covered your face, almost embarrassed, needing to see his reply but not wanting to face it at the same time.

That’s my good girl. Saturday at 8.

His praise was everything, it made your heart sing, made you feel light and giddy. You like being his good girl don’t you? That slithering thing again - you ignored it. It shamed you that the only thing you could do for the rest of the day, was try to think of a way to get rid of Charlie for the weekend.

—-

Charlie seemed pleasantly surprised, you had -very sneakily- messaged his best friend Jack that he should plan a boys weekend. That you thought he needed to have some fun. To stop thinking about the wedding. Oh god the wedding.

Jack had told you that Charlie was lucky you were so cool and that he’d plan something.

“Are you sure babe? I don’t have to go- it’s just a weekend at Jack’s cottage but I’m sure it’ll be fine if you came or if I stayed here.” You could see he wanted you to be happy, you stomped away the guilt.

“No you go ahead, Jack will be happy to have the boys there without the girlfriends or fiancé’s.” You gave him your most convincing smile. He smiled, promising that if you needed anything he would come back at the drop of a hat.

Not likely. You stomped the slithering thing down too.

----

Charlie left on Thursday night, Jack insisted they stay there until Monday morning and you talked Charlie into going. You relished the idea of being alone, pretending at least in some fucked up part of your brain that you were single. That David was single - just two single adults without families, without any responsibilities or commitments.

When Saturday finally came you were on edge, you had started getting ready a couple of hours before in your excitement. You didn’t want to delve too deep into what that meant but nevertheless.

You focused your energy on making sure your hair looked good, moisturizing your skin - meaningless things that took up your time and helped you conveniently ignore that you were prepping for sex with a married man while your fiance was with his friends.

I’m here.

Your heart leapt, you spritzed your best perfume and made your way out. You couldn’t help but smile as you made your way down.

He was serious when you got into the car and for a moment you were afraid you’d displeased him somehow, it should have worried you how much you craved his approval - his praise.

“Hi.” You said shyly - hoping he’d notice your dress but he didn’t. He drove without a word. What had happened? You thought back to how he had comforted you - held you close and rubbed your back. You wanted that, you wanted a little tenderness before the filth came. It seemed as though he sensed your panic and he placed his hand on your thigh- it calmed you more than it should have.

“Hi baby.” he gave you a little smile and the slithering thing stretched and luxuriated. Everything was okay.

“Where are we going?” You asked him - even though you knew he probably wouldn’t tell you but he surprised you.

“To my house - I’m going to fuck you in my bed.” He spoke casually, completely unphased. His eyes focused on the road, on the streetlights and signs. He couldn’t see how your heart leapt, how the heat spread from your face to your ears, leaving splotches of pink on your chest.

“But - what about?” You couldn’t bring yourself to say the words, your wife.

“She took the girls to their grandparents - I have the house to myself for the weekend. So i’m going to take advantage. Going to take you home - spread you out on my bed and I’m going to do all of the things I’ve been thinking about this whole week.” He spoke as he turned onto a neat little street, full of spaced out homes. Houses that screamed soccer moms and wall-street dads. White picket fences and minivans.

The house both matched him and it didn’t. It made sense that he’d be able to afford this - your thoughts went back to the designer bag Mrs. York brought to your meeting. The SUV you were sitting in had leather seats, it was probably brand new, Carol probably drove a Mercedes. They obviously had money.

You noticed that the lights outside the house were off - didn’t want his neighbours to see him bringing a woman who was definitely not his wife home on a Saturday night. He guided you to the house wordlessly and the guilt reared its ugly head at the sight of two bikes, casually tossed onto the porch. This man was married; had a family and here you were - wet and itching to get underneath him.

It was worse when you got in the house, his wife very much present in all things. Her shoes at the door, her sweater draped over a tasteful sectional. Little avatars of his children were scattered here too - dolls clothes, the evidence of a school project you had assigned. Graded work and colourful pictures drawn by little hands held up by souvenir magnets on the fridge. Visible even from outside the kitchen. Evidence of his life which shouldn’t have had any space for you.

Tell him to take you home right this minute your brain berated you. Your conscience was begging you to take back your life- this could only end badly. You thought of your upcoming wedding, of your sweet fiance who doted on you. On the boring unfulfilling sex the slithering thing added.

You thought all these things and more, but your legs carried you wherever he led. Your pussy dripped for him, your mouth stayed shut. Instead you followed him dutifully up the stairs - passed rooms with colourful block letters, rooms his daughters slept in. The cream coloured carpet under your feet was plush and it cushioned the sound of your steps - steps that took you passed a home office. You could see him there, sitting and working while his daughters played. While his wife cooked dinner.

You had no business here and yet, you kept walking.

The bedroom was tasteful, it was decorated with soft colours, taupes and beiges. The bed was neatly made - piled high with pillows and cushions. You could see them on this bed, David and Carol here, fucking in this bed. It was a curious feeling, you weren’t jealous; you had no reason to be. You had Charlie and he had Carol, was he looking for the same thing in you that you had found in him? He didn’t seem like the kind of man to settle.

You were looking around; so lost in your thoughts you barely heard him approach you and before you knew it he was wrapped around you and the thoughts melted away. His hands burned a path across your skin wherever they touched you.

“I fuck my wife in this bed. I fuck her and think of you. I think about how wet you got when I got your tits out. How wet you get when you cum.” he spoke into your ear and you had to take a deep breath, the ease with which he spoke to you like this was astounding. He walked you toward the bed until you had no choice but to sit.

“You look so pretty when you blush baby.” he ran his hand through your hair, gripping it a little tight, pulling it back so your neck was craned up to him - it pulled a gasp out of your mouth.

“I keep thinking about you like this - looking up at me.” He was taking in everything about you - his gaze travelling the length of your body. “I don’t want to have to ask you things twice tonight. I know you’re going to be a good girl. Are you excited?”

“Yes, very excited.” You answered quickly and he smiled.

“Open your mouth for me baby, show daddy how excited you are.” He started undoing his pants and you unconsciously scooted closer to him. Everything about him lit a fire within you and the thought of his cock in your mouth was making you drool.

He was already hard, you looked up at him through your lashes; tongue out and ready.

“My pretty girl - look at you, so gorgeous like this. Mouth open ready for my cock.” He held himself in one hand while the other held your chin. You licked the bead of precum from the tip and almost moaned. “Tongue out.” He thrust into your mouth slowly- letting you get accustomed to his size, pushing a little deeper each time. You made to raise your hands but he pulled away.

“No baby, not yet, let me fuck your mouth, be good for me - get your tits out for me.” You moaned as you pulled your shirt and bra down. He groaned at the faint marks on your nipples from the last time you were together and continued.

You were so wet, you could feel your panties sticking to you. You sat there as still as you could while he repeatedly slid his cock into your mouth. He would push until he hit your throat and wait until you gagged and then pull out, until you felt the tears sliding down your cheeks. You felt depraved with his precum and your spit dripping onto your chest but the sounds he was making were worth it.

“Look at you, so fucking pretty like this baby, you’re being so good, such a good girl for me. I could cum just like this.” You moaned at his words, at his praise, at the taste of him. He switched your positions so you were standing between his spread legs on the bed. He slowly took your clothes off, kissing your stomach as he went.

“Look at that- look how wet this pretty pussy is. Is all this from having my cock in your mouth baby?” He ran his fingers along your lower lips, all pretty and glossy for him. He kept his touch feather light while he waited for a response.

“Yes, yes you make me this wet, your hands, your mouth, your cock - you.” You brought your hands up to touch his hair and he let you, his hand keeping that slow rhythm - driving you mad with want. He licked at your nipples again while you stood there, steadily gripping his hair tighter and tighter. He pulled away momentarily to take the rest of his clothes off, and when he was done you walked over to him again but before you could mount him he got up and walked around to the side of the bed facing a full length mirror.

You made to straddle him but he stopped you, turning you so you faced away from him; he wanted you to see yourself.

“Look at you, look at how pretty you look. You’re going to watch as Daddy fucks you. We’re both going to watch you bounce on my cock.” He kissed your hip, and bit at your asscheek playfully. You swallowed hard, thinking back to Charlie and knew he never would have thought of this.

He pulled you down and guided himself into your soaked center- the stretch of him making you groan and flutter around him. He spread your legs with his knees, you could see where you were joined in the mirror and the vision of you like that was dizzying. You could hardly recognize yourself like this, your skin was flushed, lips parted, hair dishevelled. You could still see your spit on your chest - you gasped when he bucked up.

“Look how well you take me? Look how well you're taking my cock, does it feel good? Do you like watching?” He moved his hands from their steady grip at your hips, up to grab your tits.

“Yes - god yes Daddy, it feels so good.” You were unhinged. Feeling his cock splitting you open was one thing, seeing it disappear into your body brought the whole thing to another level.

“My best girl, this is my pussy. Mine.” His movements were getting frantic and you couldn’t help but moan, your slick soaking his lap at his words. “Say it, tell me it’s mine.” He brought one hand down to rub perfect little circles at your clit and your climax raced up to hit you. You came with a god yes and he stilled his movements. Your cunt squeezing him so tightly he could barely move. He stood up quickly and put your hands up against the mirror without pulling out.

“Hold still for me, I want you to watch yourself get fucked.” You moaned, you were so wet the sounds were obscene, a wet slap against your ass. It was so dirty, the way he grabbed at you. The way he held your shoulder so he could fuck you harder than you’d ever been fucked and it was too much. You felt on the verge of tears at the intensity but he kept going, until you felt him cum inside you. Felt him dripping out of you and onto that lush carpet.

You couldn’t remember how many times he’d made you cum. All you knew was you were tired, your body spent, your cunt was sore, your tits were sore - your muscles. Everything - but still he wanted more.

He pulled you into the shower to wash your combined pleasure off, but he coaxed more pleasure out of you with his fingers as the water soothed you slightly.

You laid in his bed, maybe even in Carol’s spot with his head between your thighs. He told you how good your pussy tasted, how he owned it; and he did.

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*let me know if you don't want to be tagged in all things Pedro*

As always - thanks to you my angels for letting me send random passages and long pieces of writing for your opinions lol - I literally wouldn't post without you. @foli-vora 💖@frannyzooey 💖 @mouthymandalorian💖

Tag list: @frannyzooey @foli-vora @danniburgh @sambucky21 @greeneyedblondie44 @lola4pedro @mouthymandalorian @221bshrlocked @artsymaddie @supernaturalgirl @sleep-tight1 @softdindjxrin @wheresarizona @sherala007 @marydjarin @cannedsoupsucks @thirstworldproblemss @ilikechocolatemilkh @lori-tovar @freeshavocadoooo @hrk-fic-recs @greeneyedblondie44 @maxwell--lord @princessxkenobi @the-feckless-wonder @kirsteng42 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @thisshipwillsail316

#dave york x reader #dave york #dave york x you #suburban murder daddy #dave york pit #dave york fanfiction #equalizer 2 #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fic #dave york x fem!reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x reader

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drabblecat · 3 years ago

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Yandere!Heisenberg x F!Reader Part 2

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Warnings: yandere behavior, slight nudity, drugging

Part 1

Slightly longer than i was aiming for but that's ok! My initial thought was more pwp but then I realized I kinda wanted some sort of plot... Anyways, big plans for next chapters! As always I'd love to hear what you think and the ask box is open!

You took a moment to try and calm your nerves. Heisenberg still had your face in his rough hands, and you couldn’t try to run with that chain holding you down. As his thumb ran across your lips anger built inside you. Mother Miranda was supposed to protect everyone in the village, but as soon as shit hit the fan there was no one that came to the rescue. You parted your lips as if starting to speak, his thumb now pressing down on your lower lip. Tilting your head forward ever so slightly, you bit down on the man’s thumb. He pulled back and sat up in shock that someone in your current position would do such a thing.

“Take care of me huh? Like Mother Miranda was supposed to? Yeah, well look how that worked out!” The hand still next to your head quickly gasped onto your neck, lifting you up to meet his eyes.

“That bitch was just using the village. It was a lie she used to make sure we had the right number of bodies to work with and everyone fell for it!” Tightening around your throat you started to gasp for air, hands pulling at Heisenberg’s grip. He let you go, house bouncing against the mattress. “It seems you need some more time to adjust. I’ll be back later and hopefully you’ll realize your place here.” The bed shifted as he stood up. Walking to the door and closing it behind him you heard a loud telltale click of a lock.

You stared up at the ceiling for a moment, not only to catch your breath, but also in attempt to process what exactly was happening. Tears formed in the corner of your eyes, one spilling over your cheek and rolled down to your chin. You let it fall for just a moment, and then gathered yourself. What was done was done. True you saw people that you knew dying in the streets, but you didn’t truly know them. You were just the new girl in town, if they were in your place, they would just be happy to be alive. Besides, Heisenberg was one of the town’s lords, right? It’s possible that this isn’t all that bad, you don’t know anything about him besides owning the old factory. At least he’s not Beneviento or Moreau. The dolls were creepy as hell, and you were never one for going near the waters that looked like they’d eat you if given the chance.

Using the sheet you wiped your eyes, and decided it was best to examine your surroundings further. Getting off the bed, the chain falling to the floor with it, you saw the cuff had a decent amount of length to it. Besides the bed and the heavy door, there were a few other things. There was the chair still at the end of the bed, a small nightstand, a vanity, and two other doors. Walking over to the vanity you were taken back. It had a framed photo of you that you do not remember taking. Especially since it was of you just out of the shower! Hesitantly you tipped it over, not wanting to even think of what that photo implied. Below the vanity were some drawers, opening them you found a hairbrush, and what only could be described as some of the raunchiest lingerie you’ve ever seen. Then came the two doors, one was significantly smaller than the other. Trying the small one first in the back left of the room, no luck. After turning the round door knob a few times you gave it a rest. Next was the larger door, this one opened right away. Nothing too interesting, just an ordinary bathroom. It was a little dirty, but nothing worse than what you’ve seen at certain gas stations.

Starting by opening all the possible cabinets you found they were all empty. Nothing to even try to use to get out. No cleaning chemicals or even medicine in the medicine cabinet. Heisenberg must have thought this through this for some time. The chain finally ran out of length at the toilet, just short of the bath. Seeing as nothing came from this, you returned to the bed to stare at the ceiling and think. Not like there was anything else to do. Who knows how long it took you to explore the room and think your thoughts. Without windows or any sort of clock there was no way to tell. Curling up to one side you snuggled into the blankets. Once again you heard the door click, causing you to bolt upright to face the noise. Heisenberg came through the door, carrying a metal tray holding a plate of food, a fork, a glass with what looked like water, and a small white vase with two wilted yellow flowers.

“Dinner time! Now I know I’m not the best cook, but you should find this to at least be appetizing. After all you must be starving darling.” He sat the tray on the bed and sat back in his chair. The plate was just as he said, didn’t look five stars, but your stomach growled at the mess of food. It looked like some baked beans, accompanied by some thick slices of grilled ham, and a chunk of corn bread. You still didn’t move, despite your hunger.

“Ok ok, you probably think I drugged the food, right? Well, I didn’t. Drugging you would be easier with a dart gun.” He lowered his glasses slightly to look you in the eye. With a sigh he grabbed the fork, picking up an entire slice of the ham, ripping a bite out of it. “See?” he placed the ham with the fork in it back down on the plate, speaking as he chewed. You couldn’t hold out much longer. If now was dinner time, that means you missed an entire day with nothing to eat. Planning any sort of escape or resistance to him couldn’t be done on an empty stomach. Reaching forward you used the fork the cut off a bite sized piece. It was surprisingly well seasoned, and super tender.

“There you go sweetheart! I knew it would just take some time to get used to, I’m not all that bad.” He chuckled and watched you as you ate. Only because he was watching you did you eat just a little faster than you had wanted to. Sure, he was a little off putting, but he seemed happy when you played along with whatever sick fantasy he had conjured up in his head. Once the meal was done, he set the flower on your nightstand and the tray right beside it. He stood up, taking his hat and coat off and throwing it on the chair.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I had a full day today and I am beat. Time to get some shut eye.” He glanced over to the vanity; a small piece of cloth poked out from where you had rummaged around. “I see you had some fun today as well. Your still in that ragged gown, I think you might want to change into something a little more… fresh.” Shit, you thought you’d put everything back to where it was. You mentally curse yourself as he opened the drawers. He was right though; you were still in the stained nightgown from the attack. As much as a fresh outfit was a good idea, you dreaded what his choice might be.

After a few moments of rummaging, he pulled out a gown that looked like it went down to mid-thigh, in a deep crimson color. It would have been a nice gown, if it wasn’t for the fact that the entire section around the breasts were almost see through lace with slits on both sides that went from the bottom and halfway up.

“Absolutely not.” You blurted out, causing him to chuckle.

“Sweetheart I don’t think you have a choice in the matter. Besides you and I both know that if you stay in that grimy thing, it’ll make you more uncomfortable than wearing this. It’s soft to, pure silk.” He tossed it on the bed and gave you a wink. Giving a defeated huff, you picked it up. He was right, it was incredibly soft. Getting off the bed with the garment in hand you headed towards the bathroom.

“Aww, and I thought I was going to see you strip. Maybe some other time…” He looked at you with his shit-eating grin. Your face became flustered, and you slammed the door as fast as you could, not shutting all the way due to the chain. Once inside the bathroom you began to change, making sure he couldn’t see you through the crack in the door. It was only then that you found the slip came with a matching pair of panties. Sighing in defeat and honestly just tired of all the bullshit thrown at you these past days you just put them on. It did give you some comfort, surprisingly feeling clean in this lewd outfit over your much more covering, yet crawling with filth, night gown. Taking a look in the mirror you looked yourself over. At least your tits looked hot in this, a confidence boost is good, right?

Slowly opening the door further, you became almost timid at what you saw. Heisenberg had also begun to strip down to his boxers for the night. He was in the middle of removing his shirt. His muscular back was littered with all sorts of scars. His muscles flexed as he took of the white stained undershirt, the smallest beads of sweat wicked away by the fabric. His tight ass was also a sight to see. Looking over his shoulder, he locked eyes with you, no longer having glasses obscure the direct line of sight.

“Well well, seems we’ve both found ourselves some eye candy huh.” Tossing the last piece of clothing to the chair he approached the door. Opening it and taking your hand he looked down at you, you quickly looked away to avoid feeling more embarrassment. Suddenly he picked up bridal style, your hands immediately reaching for his chest in attempt to hold on. In doing so your hands felt the warm firm handful of his pecks. He chuckled as you quickly folded your hands back into your own chest. Ever so gently he set you back on the bed, a sharp contrast to what had happened earlier.

Settling down next to you, you turned away from him. As you felt the bed dip with his weight, he wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you close. You could feel a slight bulge resting against your ass. You tried to create some sort of distance, but you couldn’t move at all. Resigning to the situation, you tried to settle down, eyes unable to close despite some tiredness. All you could see in the limited range of movement you had was the nightstand, remnants of the meal, and the two flowers wilted but vibrant as they sat in the small vase.

#karl heisenberg x reader #karl heisenberg #re8 #yandere!heisenberg #yandere resident evil #smut #re8 smut #x reader #karl heisenberg x you

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positivexcellence · 3 years ago

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Shopping: ‘Walker’ Star Jared Padalecki Can’t Live Without These Wellness and Travel Essentials

“I started using Mantra during the pandemic,” Austin-based Padalecki tells The Hollywood Reporter. Introduced to the brand through friends of his wife, Genevieve Padalecki (with whom he has co-starred in Supernatural and Walker; the couple have three children), he says he tried the brand “on a bit of a whim … I had done 21 years on TV. I had tried every supplement on the planet, essentially. If it’s in GNC [or] in some supplement store down the block, I’ve probably tried it.”

Noting that he’s “not a physician” (“I don’t want to make medical recommendations”), Padalecki continues: “I’ve invested in several companies, but this was the first one that I wanted to get in front of publicly. I believe in this. I am certain that I will use our products every day until the day I die.”

“We focus really hard on making the product as clean and as organic as possible. I feel comfortable giving any of the products to my kids, you know. And I think a lot of companies out there, in my opinion, just throw in a lot of stuff, thinking, ‘One of these [ingredients] will work.’ We don’t do that,” he says.

“At this point in my life, I’ll be 40 next year, and my life changed a lot, having kids … I no longer want to be the guy who lifts the most weights at the gym or the guy who’s like, ‘Let’s go get shredded.’ That doesn’t interest me,” adds the San Antonio-bred star. “I want to feel good. I want to wake up in the morning and be able to wake my kids up for school and feel energy and feel rested and relaxed and hydrated.”

Mantra Labs’ philanthropic business model also drew Padalecki in as an investor. The actor has opened up in the past about battling depression, and in 2015 launched his “Always Keep Fighting” fundraising campaign to support the nonprofit organization, To Write Love On Her Arms.

“I’ve literally spent 21 years trying everything on the market and this speaks to me. And Mantra since day one has been donating a portion of every sale to mental health charities, it just spoke to me both physically and more importantly, mentally, I felt good using the product,” he explains. “It’s really important we do good for ourselves and we do good for those we’ll never meet.”

Here, the 39-year-old actor shares more about what attracted him to take on the role as Cordell Walker, how he incorporates Mantra Labs into his filming routine, how he got his first big break in Hollywood and the essentials — from smart toothbrushes and watches to boots — that he can’t live without when he’s traveling for work.

As for Walker, the second season airs Oct. 28 live on the CW and can be streamed free online the following day on the network’s website. The show can be live-streamed on DirecTV Stream (formerly AT&T TV), Hulu + Live TV and YouTube TV, while the first season is available on HBO Max.

Walk us through Mantra Labs’ products and how you use them in your daily routine.

Rise you take in the morning. You mix with water. It has no caffeine. Rest you take at night and then Go you take as needed. There are days I take zero Gos and days I take three. [One] Friday night we were filming until like 2 a.m. I was riding a horse. I was exhausted. And I don’t want to just try and chug a coffee or Red Bull. So I’ll take a Go. If I’m doing a big, long workout, like an hour or two bike ride or jog or hike or something, I’ll take a Go. So each one is formulated for its specific purpose.

How did you end up moving to LA and pursuing acting?

I was enrolled at University of Texas Austin. We call it just UT. That was in 2000 and I had my books, I had my housing assignments, I had all my classes and then I went to L.A. — like I’m going to give it a shot. And I got Gilmore Girls. I got like a four-episode run on Gilmore Girls. I was making like a thousand dollars every two weeks and I was like, “I’m rich.” And then Gilmore Girls ended up kind of continuing my contract for another five years. Then the Supernatural happened.

What drew you to Walker, to that role and wanting to do that character?

I grew up in Texas and I feel like Walker, Texas Ranger, the Chuck Norris version, had been on [TV] a lot. And obviously, we find ourselves in a very different situation and I want it to find a storyline that I could work from home in Austin about a law enforcement agent who ideally for me, the audience will never know if he’s liberal or conservative, Democratic or Republican. This is not a show about roundhouse kicks. This is a show about a well-rounded family man. We tried to go with a more universal storyline. This is just somebody trying to be the best version of themselves they can and falling short, but, but striving to learn … This is more about like, “Hey, this guy is doing the best he can.”

Since you travel frequently for work, what are some of your essentials?

These are things I legitimately own and travel with. I’ve traveled a lot. I filmed Supernatural in Vancouver for 15 and a half years and we would do like 18 conventions a year. So I’ve done my fair share of traveling out of a backpack.

Right now I have a Tumi backpack that I travel with. I have so much in my backpack. I have a computer and an iPad and scripts. I’m a big backpack guy. People see me and they’re like, “Hey, what college are you going to?” And I’m like, “I ain’t going to college. This is just the way I travel.” It’s just easier to put two straps on and walk than to try and do the whole wheeling of a backpack through an airport or something.

MyCharge Portable Charger

First thing, there’s a company called My Charge. Inevitably I find myself with like five percent battery and other than when I go to bed at night in a hotel room I’m not near a plug. You can get it on Amazon. I’ve probably bought 30 or 40 [of them] in my lifetime. I’ve probably given away 20 of them. I’ll see people whose phones are dying and I’ll be like, ‘Take this.’ It’s a travel battery, but it comes with the plugs. So you can plug it directly into the wall. You don’t have to have a separate plug and a separate cord to charge it and then have a separate plug to charge your phone. There are some that charge your iPod and your iPhone and your computer or whatever. There’s one in my Tumi backpack at all times, fully charged.

Garmin Fenix GPS Smart Watch

I use a Garmin Fenix watch. I’m a big watch collector. I love mechanical watches. But when I travel I use a Garmin Fenix because it has heart rate and also my favorite thing to do when I get to a new city is to just walk around. And so with a Garmin you can GPS track yourself; you can see how many miles you did, your average speed, your heart rate.

And it links into your phone or your computer and you can see what route you did. So you can just put in headphones, go for a two-hour walk around Chicago or New York or whatever. And then you can go like, man, you know, about an hour into it I passed up a really cool little old town spot. Like where was that? When you log into your phone or your computer, you can go like, Oh, that was right there. And you can see where it is, go back if you want. I’ve done marathons and I wear the same watch in my marathons. But that’s a great watch for travel. And also it’ll automatically log in to wherever you are. So it’ll change time zone by itself.

Quip Toothbrush

Obviously, when you’re traveling, you need a toothbrush and toothpaste and I use Quip. It’s a great little electric toothbrush and you sign up for an account and they send you new toothbrush heads. I have one in my backpack right now. They send you new toothpaste and toothbrush heads like once a month

Dermalogica Lotion

For skincare, I just use Dermalogica lotion. That’s basically my entire skincare routine. After I shower, I’ll just put lotion on and I’ve got a big forehead, you know, I’m a big Polish dude and I get a lot of wrinkles and I’m always in the sun; I’m a sun baby. I love being outside and playing with the kids, getting in the pool, going for a bike ride.

My most common travel shoes are by Blundstone. I found out about them because when I started my character on Supernatural, [he] started wearing them in season two or three. They are waterproof and they slip on and off. So if you’re going through the airport, you don’t have to sit there and unlace your shoes, you just kick them off and pull them back on.

Willy T-Shirts

There’s a brand called Willy. (Padalecki says he and his wife are friends with Willy co-founder Charles Nelson, the husband of Sprinkles co-founder Candace Nelson.) I wear their shirts all the time. I wear them to dinner. I wear them to work out. I wear them to sleep. They’re just super cozy, wonderful workout shirts. And also in Texas, when it gets to be like a hundred degrees outside and humid, they breathe. I usually have a rolled-up Willy shirt in my backpack.

hollywoodreporter

#Jared Padalecki #mantra labs

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lord-of-gender · 4 years ago

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A Small Problem - Part 2

Once again my inspiration comes from @deyageka

Word count: 1960

Syndicate Meeting

"Perhaps if we-" Phil was saying as Ranboo came into the meeting room, with Tommy right at his heels. It had been two months since they originally found him in the prison and Ranboo had volunteered to watch him that day, completely forgetting about the meeting. He knew he didn't have to come, but it was a good excuse to finally tell them about Tommy.

"Hi, sorry I'm late," Ranboo said awkwardly, knowing the other explanation that he would have to give.

"Hallo!" Tommy said cheerily, moving to stand next to Ranboo, some paper and coloring pigments in his arms.

"What the actual fuck," Phil said, he did a double take when he saw Tommy.

"Heh!?" Techno exclaimed, of all the things he expected, a young Tommy was not on the list. "How?! I thought you said he was dead."

"No, no, no, don't tell me that's Tommy," Niki said, shaking her head.

"Yes, he did die, but Dream revived him," Ranboo said, shifting from foot to foot, "I think that's what happened. Sam found him in the prison like this."

"So that's why you asked me, Tommy couldn't keep his mouth shut," Phil muttered, talking about when Ranboo asked about the old Empire. He knew Ghostbur wouldn't have remembered it, or else he would have mentioned it to him.

"I'm the Empire-er," Tommy went up to Techhno and held up a wooden sword, he also wore the paper crown he made. "Like you."

"Be quiet," Techno growled, Tommy backed away, this wasn't the Technoblade he remembered. The boy ran over to Ranboo and buried his head in his shirt. Ranboo could feel his shirt start to get wet as Tommy started to cry. What had he done wrong? Why was Techno mad at him?

"Oh my gosh, Tommy are you okay," Ranboo knelt down to Tommy's level, taking out a cloth so he wouldn't get wet from the boy's tears.

"Tech-no does-n't like me," Tommy sobbed, sniffling between words.

"Oh, I'm sure that's not true," Ranboo said, he looked back at Phil and Niki, silently asking them for help. "He's just surprised to see you."

"I just want Wilbur," Tommy said, his cries starting to die down and reduce to hiccups. "Sam pwomised he would find him."

"He doesn't know," Phil asked, at this age Tommy had idolized Techno and Wilbur. He followed Techno around everywhere and wanted to know everything about him.

"Know, what," Tommy sniffed, using his sleeve to wipe off mucus. "What don't I know?"

"A few months ago," Phil came over and crouched in front of Tommy. "Something happened and-"

"It might be better to find Gho-Wilbur first to tell him," Techno said, the voices had been telling him one of two things. To protect Tommy as all costs, or to kill Tommy for being an orphan. "Who's watching him? Or is he an orphan?"

"I- uh- Sam is mainly taking care of him, so no, he's not an orphan," Ranboo stuttered, knowing a bit of Techno's history with orphans.

"I mean last time I checked I wasn't fucking dead," Phil chuckled, Niki started giggling.

"So what's the plan for today," Ranboo asked, he picked up Tommy as the boy kept pulling on his shirt.

"We're going to do some recon on the Egg," Techno said, "Phil received an invitation to some banquet so we're going to check it out beforehand."

"So I probably shouldn't have brought him," Ranboo said, talking about Tommy as he started to nod off.

"Can't we take him to Snowchester," Phil said, subtly asking if Tommy could stay with Micheal.

"I don't know, Tubbo's not going to be there for a while. He and Jack are busy doing something," Ranboo didn't know what it was there were doing, but it seemed important to Tubbo. And he didn't want Sam to get mad at him for leaving Tommy alone for a little bit.

"He'll be fine alone," Phil said, "We used to do that all the time when he was originally this age."

"You are a terrible parent," Ranboo said.

"Okay mate," Phil rolled his eyes, "you can't be speaking here. Especially not about that shit."

"I wanna stay here," Tommy piped in.

"We could talk to Puffy on our way," Techno said.

"Auntie Puffy!" Tommy said excitedly, bouncing in Ranboo's arms. At the mention of Puffy he had brightened up and got energetic again.

"I guess we have our answer then," Niki laughed.

"Are you good to stay here by yourself for a bit," Ranboo asked. Tommy shook his head and pointed at Niki, she seemed nice.

"Huh, he didn't mind staying home when I took care of him," Phil said.

"Well we think he might have vague memories of what happened in his past," Ranboo lowered his voice and put Tommy down to let him walk over to Niki. "Sometimes he'll just freeze when coming near lava or even a Nether Portal. We've noticed that most of the time he hates being alone."

"I want to stay wif you," Tommy said to Niki.

"I don't know, Puffy and I don't have the greatest history," Niki said, then looked down at Tommy's face as he started to pout. "But I can't say no to you. You are absolutely adorable. Okay, just this once."

"Go now," Tommy waved at them as he sat in the chair next to Niki.

"He does that alot," Ranboo chuckled, "see you later, Tommy."

"Okay Ranboo," Tommy pulled out Clementine from his inventory and made airplane noises as he moved it in the air. Ranboo, Techno, and Philza left the meeting room as Niki laughed with Tommy.

"I haven't seen him like that since," Phil started but trailed off.

"Well of course not, he's a little kid again," Ranboo said.

"Pogtopia," Techno finished for Phil, "he has that light in his eyes again. I remember when we were building that big obnoxious tower, but it made him happy."

"How long had Tommy been with you," Ranboo asked.

"I found him when he was four or five," Phil said, "Wilbur is my only biological son. I adopted Tubbo when he was five as well."

"It's still weird seeing Tommy at that age again," Techno said.

"Yeah, I can't imagine how much of a shock it was when I brought him in there," Ranboo said, he should have thought about it beforehand.

"Oh we were surprised for sure," Philza laughed.

After the trip through the Nether to the community portal they found Bad, Ant, and Punz waiting right outside of the portal. How were they supposed to tell Puffy now?

"Hello, Philza," Punz said, "I didn't think you'd only have two people coming with you."

"Our fourth member is on her way," Techno said, "don't try and threaten us. We have all the power here."

"Ranboo, go talk to Puffy," Phil whispered to him. "Gentlemen, there's no need to fight. We were just curious about the meaning of this invitation I received."

"Ah yes, the banquet," Ant said, "the egg has realized it over stepped a bit, so we've been cleaning up some of the vines and are holding a festival of sorts as a formal apology to the server. You are all invited, we just wanted Phil as a guest of honor."

"Well I'm pretty sure the last time I went to a festival, it didn't turn out well," Techno chuckled, but the voices had raised a good question. Why Phil?

"We swear it won't end like those," Bad said, "I mean we aren't L'Manburg after all."

"Maybe Techno would be more convinced if we saw this change ourselves," Phil said as he spotted Puffy coming towards them, then messaged Niki. Ranboo rejoined the group.

"Of course," Bad said turning around, allowing Puffy to go around them then enter the Nether.

"So uh, where's Skeppy," Ranboo asked, he'd heard from Sam that he had also been infected. "I haven't seen him around recently."

"We don't know," Punz said, "haven't seen him in a while."

"So when you say everyone is invited, who does this include," Phil asked, if they invited the whole server this could be a problem. Tommy couldn't just be left alone for a few hours, but the last thing they wanted was to take him near the Egg.

"Well everyone, except for Dream of course," Bad said, "but alot have said they'll be busy and unable to make it." They walked along the prime path where huge vines used to be, it appeared that they had been cleaned up. Soon Niki caught up with then.

"So what's going on," She asked, holding a cheerful expression to disguise the fact they were hiding something.

"We were just telling them about the banquet," Bad said, "you're coming, right Niki?"

"Of course, I wouldn't miss it," She said.

Something about the banquet and how similar it was to the L'Manburg festivals didn't sit right with Techno. To make matters worse he had just received a message from Quackity.

"I have to do something, you guys can fill me in when we get back," Techno said, he noticed Phil's questioning expression. "Don't worry it has nothing to do with my favor."

"See you later Techno," Ranboo said, he had been wondering the same thing but didn't want to say anything.

"Yeah, I'll say hi to the kid for you," Techno said. It was a throw away comment, but it seemed to interest Bad.

"Kid?" He asked, after checking that Techno was out of hearing range Ranboo responded with: "Yeah, me and Tubbo adopted."

"Oh, you mean Michael," Bad said, he'd heard about the young zombie piglin.

"We were going to Snowchester afterwards," Phil said, easily going along with Ranboo's lie.

"Yeah! You know, every member is important," Niki said, she had no idea who they were talking about, but she could use what they had said to play along.

“Well we should probably let you guys do that,” Bad said, he wasn’t sure if it was time to show them the Egg. No, it wasn’t, they had enough evidence from them to go to the banquet.

“Yes, you’re right,” Ranboo was getting uneasy, he didn’t like anything about the Egg or the Eggpire.

“See you the 25th!”

#ask and ye shall receive #ranboo #syndicate technoblade #childinnit #i hope you like it cause this is the last of the fluff #prepare for angst in the next part #crimson egg #eggpire #nihachu #philza

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moonlightlullaby · 3 years ago

Text

no celebrations?

summary: Corpse and reader celebrate his birthday in the most chill way. Based on this lovely request (ty again for sending it!)

pairing: corpse husband x gn! reader

category: fluff

warnings: food ingestion; alcohol ingestion; loads of physical touch (let me know if I forgot to mention anything)

A/N: Hello (: This is such a lovely concept, I just couldn’t wait to get started hehe Also, I got a bit carried away and just went with it, so I’m really sorry if that’s not what you’d pictured. I do hope you enjoy it tho <3 Take care!

word count: 2.4k

Masterlist

Walking into our shared bedroom, I catch the sight of Corpse exiting the bathroom. As our eyes lock, my lips curl up tiredly and a long sigh I didn’t even know I’ve been holding finally frees itself. He sits on the edge of our bed and extends his hand to me. When I take it, he pulls me so I stand in the space between his legs.

“How was the day?” he asks with both of his hands on my waist.

I hum, quirking a brow and tilting my head a bit “At least tomorrow - you know, the most unspecial, completely ordinary day of the year -” this earns a giggle from my boyfriend “is Sunday and I can just ignore all of that” I wave my hand in the direction of the adjacent room, where my laptop - filled with texts, assignments, spreadsheets and appointed Zoom calls - is.

At my words, Corpse wraps his arms around my figure, pulls my body even closer to him and plants a kiss on my stomach through my shirt. My hands, in turn, caress his upper back and soft hair.

Coming in contact with the string of his eyepatch in the process, I lean back slightly, which causes him to shoot up at me with a small frown and pouty lips. He sits still, though, as I carefully remove his eyepatch, and, while his eyes are still closed, I give each of his lids a peck. He smiles and tilts his head up to meet my lips in a long, tender and effortless kiss. Oh finally.

The idea of quarantining together was welcomed as a blessing by both of us. It meant more time spent together after all. However, with my school and work demands and Corpse’s irregular schedule, we still barely see each other throughout the day in spite of being a few feet apart from one another. And when bedtime rolls in, we’re both so exhausted all we can do is mumble words that could be counted in the fingers of one hand before drifting off. This, of course, when my boyfriend doesn’t stay up until dawn working. Don’t get me wrong, I’m his number 1 fan and admire his passion and all the hard work he puts in everything he sets his mind to, but I’m also not going to lie and say I don’t miss his warmth at night. Hence I want to devote this Sunday to him.

After a while, I break the silence “I’ll be right back.”

I let go of his hold and take my turn to use the bathroom. After doing my night routine, brushing my teeth and getting into my cozy pajamas, I walk back in the dark room and lie down, settling myself back in Corpse’s hug like two puzzle pieces matching together.

~~~~~

The excitement for a new day - not any day, no, but August 8th - washes over me as soon as I open my eyes and get a glimpse of the sleepy boy next to me.

A couple of minutes go by as I contemplate on getting up, torn between prolonging our cuddling for some more and doing something to show Corpse my appreciation for him. The latter wins and I, cautious not to wake him up, slowly unwrap my arms from him and step out of the bed. Drawing the curtains to make sure the summer daylight doesn’t disturb his peaceful state of mind, I make my way out of the room and to the kitchen.

Wondering what to make for breakfast, I take a good look around until my eyes catch the plethora of fruits we’ve bought a few days ago. Fruit salad it is.

Corpse has, for as long as we’ve known each other, made it very clear he isn’t too fond of his anniversary and similar celebrations - and, even if he hadn’t explained it to me, it’s rather evident how uncomfortable they make him. This year, his friends’ and especially his fans’ hype for the date - although unintentionally - has added an extra layer of unease to it all, to which I don’t intend to contribute.

Even though I don’t want to make matters worse and would never overstep his boundaries like this (because, thankfully, I’m not Betty Cooper and he isn’t Jughead Jones), I still want to celebrate Corpse. I want to celebrate his birth and his existence, which I’m immensely grateful for. He’s both the best friend I can confide in blindly and the lover I want to share my lifetime with. He sticks to his truth and dreams higher than I could ever imagine. He turns the darkness in the world and in his mind into light with his words and with his laugh. Having him in my life is one of the best things to ever happen to me and seeing him fly makes me more proud than I can put into words.

There’s a lot to toast to, so the solution is a celebration that is so smooth and so chill - the smoothest and most chill possible - that it doesn’t even feel like one. Just log off and enjoy a laid back day together.

As I chop a kiwi and make a mental list of fun and uncomplicated things we can do that don’t require much time and many skills, in walks Corpse, in an old white tee which is one too many sizes bigger than him and in his black sweatpants. He rubs his eyes and lets a raspy “good morning”.

“Mornin- wow! They really weren’t lying when they said when you hit 24, hotness knocks at your door”

He chuckles and shakes his head “No one’s said that”

“Well, then consider yourself the muse of a new proverb, baby”

He scrunches up his nose in response before grabbing the cup of orange juice I’d placed on the counter and taking a gulp.

“Thank you” he turns my face and gives me an orange-flavoured kiss, neither of us having ever really cared about morning breath.

“For calling you hot? Oh save it to when I’m done with the list of cheesy compliments I have for you” I take a grape and before I can get it in my mouth, he steals it, with wrinkles on the corner of his eyes.

“Then we’d be here for eternity!” he’s not wrong.

Corpse helps me put the fresh fruits in bowls and, with them and our juice cup in hand, we head to the balcony. Sitting next to each other, we calmly eat, take in the light blue sky and the cars and passersby changing the scenery ahead of us. Conversation flows naturally.

As we empty our bowls - after stealing many bits from each other -, I twist in my seat and face him “Hey, Corpse, do you see this?” I point to the very prominent and familiar dark circles under my eyes. “Wanna help me get rid of them?” I ask, knowing damn well it’d take a lifetime for them to actually go away and not giving up regardless.

~~~~~

The bathroom is filled with chatter and laughter and the sink, with hair clips, scrunchies, a sharpie, bowls, hair products and a towel. Corpse hisses as our cool homemade face mask comes in contact with his skin. His curly hair is pushed back and held by a blue hairband and I apply the mask to his face, making sure not to leave any spots uncovered. Well, that’s what I’m trying to do, which becomes an unnecessarily challenging task when my lovely partner can’t be still for more than two seconds.

He kept switching between dancing to Soulmate, by Mac Miller, and mouthing its lyrics. Now that I got him - after a small threat that I wouldn’t hesitate putting this weird mix we made in his pretty mouth - to keep his lips together, the (adorable, admittedly) swaying, however, continues. He stops momentarily, only to shuffle things around right after.

Something cold touches my skin, making it my turn to let out a hiss this time. The sound is accompanied by a small jump, caused by the surprise. Corpse chuckles and, when I glance at the spot on my arm the cold thing came in contact with, I realize it’s just the sharpie. All he does is give me a mischievous smile.

While I keep massaging his face and covering it with the mask, Corpse litters my body with his drawings. Smiley faces, lightning bolts, hearts, clouds... his repertoire is vast and any exposed skin he can find becomes his canvas. Each line causing me to giggle and shudder a little. With him focused on his creations, it’s 10 times easier for me to complete my task.

“Alright, my turn” he states, smiling, and I’m quick to grab the sharpie.

As he adjusts a matching hairband on my head, I put a dainty heart on his neck. And, as he takes the bowl in his hands, I swiftly plant a kiss on top of the drawing. At this, he sighs in content and my chest gets warmer.

I soon understand how hard it was for him to stay still as Stay comes on and all I want to do is have a little karaoke session and dance. Corpse entertains himself with my struggle and, because it’s his birthday, I’ll let it slide. So, to make the whole process easier, instead of focusing on the song, I focus on the gorgeous face in front of me. A beautiful face to a beautiful soul.

One of the various perks of sharing an apartment with Corpse is I get to see this face in all ways: sleepy, completely clean - no makeup, no mask -, all wrinkled in the morning, red when he’s embarrassed or when he laughs too hard… His laughter. Its sound pulls me from my trance “You’re staring, y/n”

“Well, at least I wasn’t moving around, Corpse” I reply with squinted eyes and nudge his side playfully.

We begin collecting the things scattered across the sink and storing them in the cabinet, and the song comes to an end, giving way to Dang!

“How long do we keep these on?”

I hum at the question and check the playlist on shuffle on my phone “How does 5 minutes and 2 seconds sound?”

Facing him, his grin mirrors mine and he spins me around. We laugh and allow ourselves to be as goofy as possible, jamming and moving our limbs around with a green paste on our faces.

~~~~~

After washing off the masks in the shower and painting our nails - so we’re both rocking the black nail polish look -, we’ve set our minds to - finally - finish the puzzle we started two months ago. It’s a 90’s anime setting inspired composition and we’d gotten about 40% of it done before our schedules got more hectic and the game, well, pushed aside. For weeks, the pieces sat on the ground of our living room and silently judged us every time either of us stepped to the side, as we crossed the room, in order not to crush them.

Sitting around the puzzle with comfy clothes, we team up against it and indulge in the wine Corpse’s got us and the hawaiian pizza I’ve ordered.

As the picture comes more and more to life, moments of comfortable silence and of chattery - when we talk about anything from our shopping list and gossip about our neighbours’ lives to parallel universes and the matrix - follow one another. A different playlist on shuffle is our background noise.

Time flies and the sun’s already hidden when it clicks to us that there are only 5 pieces left. Each piece is fitted in the whole with a giddier feeling than the previous. Corpse picks the last one - deep blue with purple and black specks - and turns to me with an excited smile and an eager gaze that I’m sure are mirrored on my face. I nod encouragingly. He places it in the puzzle and celebratory sounds fill the room.

Corpse stretches his arms and pulls me in a hug, but, since we’re both kneeling and because of the distance between us, we end up falling and lying on the ground in rather uncomfortable positions.

“Come on, puzzle, that was easy breezy! Gotta step up your game if you really wanna challenge this duo right here!”

“Oh for sure!” Corpse squeaks as we laugh at our nonsensical brag.

After a moment while we catch our breath, he rubs my back and speaks, pulling my attention to him “Not that I’m not loving this position, but what if we watched some Drag Race?”

Is this man real? If I couldn’t feel his heart beating under me or his arms around my figure, I’d be sure he’s just a figment of my imagination. “But it’s your b- don’t you wanna choose something you like more? Li-”

“Nope,” he boops my nose “Drag Race, or maybe Love Island, would be great right now.” And people still dare say the perfect man doesn’t exist!

“You’re such a dream!” I give him a quick peck before continuing “Ok, so I put on the show and you get more wine…?” He hums in approval and stands up. Our eyes briefly jump from each other to the puzzle and back to each other, then we simply nod. A silent agreement to leave the puzzle here. We’re both too lazy to put all the pieces back in the box and too proud of our achievement to let it go just yet; besides, everything’s been sitting here for about two months, what are a few more hours?

He steps to the side, gets our glasses and makes his way to the kitchen. I lie on the couch and scan Netflix for Drag Race. Corpse comes back, placing the glasses next to the couch, and gently lies down on top of me. He nests his head on my chest and we both hum contently.

While RuPaul announces what the winner’s prize will be, I play with his hair, letting my fingers knead his curls. His right hand flies up to meet mine and I bring our intertwined hands to my lips, peppering his knuckles with kisses. The gesture is cut by a loud laugh that escapes my lips as miss Vanjie Mateo’s iconic moment replays on the screen.

“Hey,” Corpse’s voice makes me look right back at him “I love you. You know that, right?”

My heart melts at his words and at the way he’s looking at me right now. I nod with a smile.

“I love you too, birthday boy.”

#corpse husband imagine #corpse imagine #corpse x y/n

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lucy90712 · 3 years ago

Text

Sapnap- face cam

Wc- 1987

Warnings- none (I think) I've been up for almost 30 hours mainly because I was doing college homework all of last night and because my boyfriend Sapnap was streaming and being very loud which kept me up in the first place which was why I did my homework anyway. I love Sapnap to death but sometime he can be a little annoying but I put up with it.

Sapnap only got into bed at 4am and he's still asleep now at 11pm meanwhile since then I've finished a big essay, cleaned the apartment, done another essay and then made breakfast for myself which I'm eating now. I wish I could be this productive when I've had sleep but somehow it never works like that.

Eventually Sapnap came downstairs sauntering because he was still sleepy, some of us wish. He walked right over giving me a hug from behind as I washed some dishes and gave me a kiss on my cheek.

"Morning babe you alright?" He asked

"Yeah I'm good a little tired but I'll live" I replied

"Just to let you know I'll be streaming later" he said

He always tells me when he's streaming because his fans don't know about us and he doesn't want to accidentally reveal anything to protect me which is cute but it gets hard when he streams for hours on end and I need help with something. Sapnap is good about to it though if I really need help I either text him or message him on discord and he'll help but he sometimes doesn't read his messages.

I gave him some of what I made for breakfast and he sat down to eat it while I talked at him about college work that he pretends to care about. He's very supportive of all my college work and he'll let me get on with things if I have to but he will also talk about things with me if I want to. Thats one of the best things about Sapnap is his ability to adapt to how I'm feeling at any given moment and I like to think I'm at least ok at doing the same for him.

After breakfast Sapnap cleaned the rest of the dishes and let me take a shower which was nice and relaxing and woke me up a little bit as the cold water at the start hit my back, usually I would not be under the water as it warmed up but today I felt like I needed a shock to my system to get it going for another day. I had more homework and a lecture to do today so there was no chance for a nap until the evening when it's kind of pointless anyway.

After my shower I got dressed into some sweatpants and a t-shirt because it was comfy for sitting down all day in. Sapnap had got my laptop ready for me and had got me a glass for water which was sweet of him. My lecture was in about 2 minutes so I logged onto the class ready for it to start, when it did I put my headphones on so that Sapnap didn't have to listen to my teacher going on about whatever we were doing today, he always says he doesn't care but even I don't want to listen to it sometimes so there is no way he does.

As I tapped away making notes Sapnap put his hand on my knee rubbing his thumb in circles comfortingly. He does this all the time whether its sat on the sofa like right now or while we're driving somewhere but its safe to say that I love it, it lets me know he's there in a weird way it's like he's acknowledging my presence. At one point he got up and went to the kitchen and when he came back he had my favourite snack which he put between us so that we could share. What a lovely boyfriend he's being today, I'm starting to wonder what he thinks he's done that's he's trying to make up for.

My lecture finally finished after what seemed like and age so I went to get straight on with my last essay that needed submitting by the end of the month but Sapnap shut my laptop before I could get the document open, he grabbed my hand and pulled me up from the sofa and towards the door.

"Come on were going out for a walk" he said

"Why, I have an essay to work on" I whined

"You'll never leave the house if I don't drag you out so come on" he said handing me my shoes

I put them on and grabbed a jacket because according to the weather it was meant to be a little bit chilly out today, Sapnap grabbed the house keys and pushed me out the door onto the street. We don't often go out on walks because neither of us like leaving the house that much if we were to go out it would most likely be in the car to just go for a drive.

The two of us walked down the street holding hands and swinging them back and forth as we took steps forwards. Sapnap clearly had a good idea of where he wanted to go because he was making turns all over the place. Eventually we ended up at the target not that far from our place and we went in looking at everything like you do in target and we topped up on some snacks for a movie night soon.

We left with our snacks and Sapnap dragged me to the nearest park so we could sit outside and get a bit more fresh air. The nearest park is actually the one that we went to on one of our first dates so we have good memories there, on one of the benches by the duck pond is where we had our first kiss and many more after that.

I always love going back to that park with Sapnap because each time we reminisce on the past and talk about the future which seems to change each time we come here. We walked to the exact bench that we had our first kiss on and sat down looking at the scenery. It had changed quite a bit since the first time we were here, there used to be a little play park for kids in the distance but now thats gone and is replaced with a small flower garden instead.

The first time we came here and we talked about the future all we wanted was to still be together after we left for college which of course happened, then the next time we wanted to move in together which we did and now. I'm not really sure what the future holds for us but I'm sure it will be interesting.

"Wow its been so long since we came here we have changed so much and achieved everything that we wanted to" he said

"I know its so weird to think that our last goal was to move in together and now we have been living together for 5 months where do you think we will end up in the future?" I asked

"On man I have no idea but I would love to still be living together and maybe in a bigger place and maybe even be engaged" he said

This shocked me I never expected him to say that but I guess that is the next logical step for us to take in our relationship.

"I like the sound of that" I said

We went back home and Sapnap went to stream while I worked on my essay he didn't tell me how long he was going to stream for but it will probably be about 3 hours. So I sat down and got on with writing the last 15 pages of my essay which would probably take me the entire time he was streaming maybe longer.

My essay took me almost exactly 4 hours to do but when I tried to submit it it wouldn't upload which happens from time to time. I looked at the upload speed of the WiFi since Sapnap taught me how to do it and it was fine but I assumed that it was being used for something else. This problem has happened before when Sapnap is uploading a video so I assumed that was the issue.

It got up and walked to Sapnap’s streaming room waiting outside for a moment to double check that he wasn't still streaming, I waited a couple minutes and heard nothing so I knocked and went in.

As soon as I went in I saw that Sapnap was still streaming and his face cam was on which meant that I was now on his stream in front of however many people. I've never made such a stupid mistake especially one that outs my entire relationship, I just stood in shock not being able to move and get out of the shot. Sapnap had the exact same reaction his face was filled with shock and fear at the same time.

Nothing prepares you for the moment that you expose yourself live in front of probably 100,000 people or more who will record anything that happens. Nothing prepares you for the chaos that will ensue when you do the before mentioned thing and definitely nothing prepares you for the guilt you feel doing so.

"Um hi y/n" He said trying to make things less awkward

"Hey" I replied shyly

He motioned for me to come over because there was no point trying to hide this anymore since no one will believe anything we say now. I stood next to Sapnap luckily being short enough that I still fit in frame but he had obviously given up caring at this point because he pulled me down into his lap to sit while we talked to his chat. Again he did the thing where he rubs his thumb in a circle on my leg and this time it really was for comfort.

"Well chat this is y/n and shes my... girlfriend" he said

"Hi everyone" I said shyly

"Now chat I'm going to need you to be nice to her or I'll be angry because she is very precious to me" he said

His chat were going insane telling others to clip this and people getting way to excited about all of this and some were asking questions. The whole chat was going so incredibly fast that it was hard to read all the messages.

We answered some of the basic questions like how long we have been together and other things, people also asked if George and Dream knew which of course they did and they have made jokes about Sapnap having a girlfriend but no one ever took it too seriously. At one point dream joined the call and started mocking us for being stupid and exposing ourselves and he told some stories that he knew we wouldn't mind him saying which the chat enjoyed.

I started yawning more and more as I stayed on the stream because I wasn't keeping my mind busy my tiredness was taking over. I leant back into Sapnap to rest my head on his shoulder, he out his hand on my head running it through my hair which is very relaxing.

"Are you tired?" He asked

"No I'm fine I can stay awake" I said

"I don't want to hear it I know you've been awake for over 24 hours so you are going to sleep" he almost demanded

He put his arms around my waist and pulled me into a comfortable position where I closed my eyes and fell asleep almost right away forgetting that Sapnap was still streaming but it doesn't matter.

#sapnap #sapnap x reader #dsmp #mcyt #dreamteam #dream team

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snelbz · 3 years ago

Text

What Happens Next? {Elorcan}

A/N: The overwhelming response to Watching and Waiting is that y'all wanted a part two, so here we are! This is also to tide y'all over until we drop our new stories next week. As always, written with the lovely @tacmc.

Part one can be found here :)

Aelin rolled out of bed, groaning as she heard rapid knocking on her front door.

“I’m coming,” she muttered, heading through her apartment.

Reaching up on her tiptoes, she looked out the peephole, narrowing her eyes as she beheld who was outside. Throwing open the door, Aelin crossed her arms. “You better have a good reason for getting me out of bed before eight on my day off.”

Elide held up a bag of chocolate croissants and a coffee for each of them. “I come bearing gifts.”

Aelin blinked, staring at one of her oldest friends like she was completely off her rocker. “You look…”

“Hungry?” Elide provided, sweeping past Aelin into her apartment. “No coffee?”

“Well, considering my ass just got out of bed,” Aelin muttered, “No.”

Elide looked at the clock over the stovetop and hesitated. “I’m sorry, I honestly didn’t even notice what time it was. I slept like shit.”

“Like shit?” Aelin repeated, shutting her front door behind her. “Is everything okay?”

“No, yeah, no, everything is…” Elide slumped onto the couch after setting the coffee and bag of goodies on the coffee table. “Weird.”

“I don’t know if that means okay or not,” Aelin replied, sitting on the other side of the couch. “How is it weird? What happened?”

“So. Lorcan came over after he left the library, right?” Elide sighed, tucking her legs beneath her. “We had a bit to drink and… I think we crossed a line last night.”

Pausing as she reached for the bag of croissants, despite denying her own hunger only a moment before, Aelin blinked. “Like what? Did he say something wrong? Do I need to handle this?”

“No,” Elide said, far too quickly.

Aelin stared at her.

Elide stared back.

“Elide,” Aelin pushed.

Elide took a giant bite of her chocolate croissant before she said, “We had…sex. Kinda.”

Aelin’s mouth fell open before she slowly said. “I’m sorry, you think you crossed a line?”

Elide opened her mouth but then Aelin added, “And how do you kinda have sex? Did you or did you not fuck Lorcan? Was his dick inside of you?”

She took another bite and chewed slowly before swallowing. “Technically, no.”

“Did you blow him?” Aelin asked, plucking up a croissant and reaching for her coffee. “Because if his dick was in your mouth, that counts.”

Shaking her head, Elide said, “No, we just—.”

“Then how did you kinda have sex?” Aelin interrupted.

��We…got off together.” Elide mumbled, taking a sip of her coffee and specifically not looking at her friend.

“You… Oh.” Aelin’s eyes widened. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Elide’s cheeks were on fire.

Aelin cleared her throat. “And how did that come about?”

The irony in her choice of words wasn’t lost on Elide.

“It’s…” Elide took a long while to come up with a word, but all that she could say was, “complicated.”

Aelin began to rub her temples. “Okay, I’m going to need you to walk me through this from the beginning.”

Elide did just that, starting with the alcohol and ending with Lorcan kissing her, both still completely nude, his body pressed against hers.

Aelin listened the entire time, with no judgment whatsoever. But, when Elide was done with the story, Aelin said, “Holy shit.”

“Yeah.” She didn’t have much more of a sentiment to explain it, so holy shit seemed like a good fit.

“What did he do afterward?” Aelin asked, polishing off her first croissant and getting another.

“We kissed for a while until he noticed what time it was and then he got dressed and hauled ass out the door, promising to text me today.”

“And has he?” Aelin asked, mouth full. “Cause if he hasn’t, you should text him.”

“No, but he’s got two finals early this morning, one that I know he was really worried about.” Elide was twirling a strand of her long, dark hair around her finger and brushed the end over her lips. “I don’t want to distract him.”

Aelin, who had just finished her own final exams, nodded in understanding, and then was up, hurrying back to her bedroom. She returned, phone in hand, and dropped back onto the couch.

“What are you doing?” Elide asked.

“Texting Rowan.”

Aelin’s reply was so nonchalant, but Elide’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head. “You can’t say anything!”

Aelin waved her off. “Oh, hush, I’m just asking if he’s talked to Lorcan today.” When Elide just blinked, she added, “You told me. You seriously don’t think Lorcan isn’t going to tell Rowan?”

Honestly, the idea hadn’t even occurred to her.

But, once she began to think about it, she felt the need to hurl. “You really think he’d talk to Rowan about it?”

Her voice was quiet.

Almost nervous.

Aelin’s eyes softened. “Can I ask something?”

Elide rolled her eyes. “You will if I say yes or no.”

Aelin chuckled. “True.” She waited a moment before she asked, “What did last night mean to you?”

A hell of a lot more than it did to Lorcan, I’m sure.

She didn’t say that out loud though. She shrugged instead, and quietly muttered, “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it.”

Aelin waited again and then nodded. “You have feelings for him.”

Elide didn’t answer, because she figured it was pretty obvious.

“Are you working today?” Aelin asked, out of nowhere.

The abrupt change in topic nearly gave Elide whiplash. “No, it’s my day off. Why?”

Popping the last bite of croissant in her mouth, Aelin was off the couch and heading for her bathroom. After brushing her teeth and grabbing her purse, she was tugging Elide towards the door. “We’re pampering ourselves today. Getting your mind off of…getting off last night. Let’s go.”

Elide didn’t realize until they were halfway to the spa that she’d left her phone somewhere at Aelin’s.

Rowan had just gotten home from the gym and was chugging a Gatorade when there was a banging on his front door.

He opened it to find Lorcan, who blew past him and began pacing back and forth in his living room.

“What’s wrong with you?” Rowan asked, still holding the half-empty bottle in his hands. “Did you fail one of your exams?”

“I ruined my friendship with Elide.” Lorcan was dragging his hand through his hair. “I texted her and she hasn’t replied all day.”

Rowan said nothing.

Instead, he slowly shut the door, then set his Gatorade down on his kitchen counter before he leaned against it and asked, “And how exactly did you ruin your friendship with Elide?”

Lorcan mumbled something incomprehensible as he fell back onto the couch.

Rowan sat in an armchair. “Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

Lorcan groaned. “There was kissing and nudity and touching of things, not exactly in that order, and now she won’t text me back. My best friend. I ruined it. Alcohol is stupid.”

Rowan blinked. “You fucked her?”

“No, not in the traditional sense of the word.”

At Rowan’s continued silence, he went on. “We were watching the Notebook, cause it was her turn to pick the stupid movie, and we were drinking and she started talking about how long it’s been since someone has taken care of her—.”

“You offered to do the job for her?” Rowan asked, even as his face twisted slightly in disgust. Elide had become a little sister to him, for all intents and purposes. Hearing about her in a sexual way was not exactly enjoyable.

“I did, but she said no.” He cleared his throat. “So we did the jobs ourselves instead.”

Rowan, as smart as he was, took a moment to understand what Lorcan was saying. Shaking his head, he asked, “You…jacked off in front of her?” Lorcan nodded, clearly too embarrassed for words. “And she…fingered herself?”

“A bit, yeah,” he replied, uncomfortably rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean, she mostly rubbed her clit, but—.”

“I don’t need specifics.” Rowan interrupted, holding a hand up. “But you didn’t fuck her afterward?”

“No.”

He was clearly at a loss for words. “What did you do? Clean yourself up, say Thanks for the show and leave?”

“I kissed her,” Lorcan admitted, then amended, “Well, she was on the other side of the couch, so it was more of a tackle, but I got my lips on hers, regardless.”

Rowan just stared at him, then shook his head, slowly. “Damn it, Lorcan.”

Lorcan hesitated. “What?”

“You don’t just kiss her then leave!”

“Who said I left?” Lorcan asked, voice raised.

“Well, didn’t you?” Rowan pushed.

Lorcan didn’t answer.

Rowan let out a breath. “She probably thinks that it meant absolutely nothing to you.”

“How could she possibly think that?” Lorcan asked, quietly.

“What did you do before you left?” Rowan asked.

“We kissed, for a long damn time, I noticed what time it was, had to haul ass out of there and told her I’d talk to her today,” Lorcan said, throwing up his hands. “What was I supposed to do?”

“Not make her feel like a fucked up booty call,”

Rowan replied.

“I've tried to text her today, I’ve even tried calling her, to tell her that, and to tell her how I feel. Clearly, she doesn’t want to talk to me,” Lorcan said, letting his head fall back against the couch. “Like I said. I ruined my friendship with my best friend. Over a stupid fucking orgasm.”

Rowan shook his head, but asked, “What do you mean, tell her how you feel?”

“I care about her.” Lorcan was staring at the ceiling, not at Rowan. “Last night… It meant something to me.”

“Meant something to you?” Rowan repeated. Lorcan nodded, once. “How so?”

Lorcan was quiet for a long time, then he said, “She's not just some booty call. You know that.”

“She doesn’t,” Rowan said, looking at Lorcan, even though he wouldn’t make eye contact. “She needs to know that, Lor.”

“She won’t reply-.”

“Then hunt her down,” Rowan said. “She’s out with Aelin.”

Lorcan’s head snapped up. “Where? How do you know?”

“Because Aelin is my girlfriend and we talk about things, but she didn’t tell me about this, probably because she knew you would.” He pulled out his phone and scrolled back through his messages. “They spent the day at the spa, but it looks like Aelin just got home.”

“And Elide?” Lorcan asked, already heading for the door.

He scrolled back to the most recent texts. “She didn’t mention anything about dropping her off.”

“I’ll call you later,” Lorcan called, grabbing his keys from the table by the door.

He was rushing to Elide’s, who thankfully lived just down the road from Rowan. But her car wasn’t in the lot and when he knocked on her door, incessantly, there was no answer from the other side.

It was her lack of response that bothered him the most, he realized, climbing back into his own car.

I’ve wanted you to do that for so long.

He hadn’t misheard her the night before. She’d imagined it as much as he had, or so he thought.

But maybe he’d misunderstood her. Maybe it wasn’t the connection she’d been after. Maybe it was just the orgasms.

If that had been the case, Lorcan didn’t know if he could handle it.

He drove to Aelin’s, and even if they did have a love/hate relationship, he spent far too much time at her house, with Rowan.

And Elide.

His knuckles whitened on the wheel as he drove a little bit faster through the backroads.

Please be at Aelin’s.

It was half a plea, half a nervous wish, but when he pulled into Aelin’s apartment complex, he saw Elide’s white car.

And nearly had a panic attack.

Parking beside it, he hurried to Aelin’s door, and knocked on it, probably much harder than he should have.

“This isn’t what I meant, asshole.”

He turned and found Rowan striding up the pathway towards him.

“Elide wasn’t at home,” he explained, knowing this didn’t look great, but that Rowan would never actually accuse or even think Lorcan was at Aelin’s for any purpose other than Elide. Rowan was likely coming over to see his own girlfriend. He wasn’t having to hunt her down.

The door opened then and Aelin stood on the other side, a brow raised.

“Hey,” Lorcan and Rowan both said, at once.

Aelin suppressed a laugh. “Can I help you?”

“Usually you’ve already let me in by now,” Rowan said, the same time that Lorcan asked, “Is Elide here?”

Aelin leaned against the doorframe. “Maybe.”

Rowan snorted and kissed her on the forehead before making his way inside, being allowed in be damned.

Lorcan shifted on his feet. “Look, if Elide-.”

“She's in the kitchen,” Aelin answered, simply, stepping aside to let him in.

Elide clearly hadn’t heard the commotion of their arrival because as he entered the small kitchen, her back was to Lorcan. “I’m not sure Chinese takeout was the best idea, Ace,” she sighed, unpacking the boxes from the bag in front of her. “We’re just going to be hungry again in an hour.”

“I could take you to dinner,” Lorcan said, leaning against the counter, effectively blocking the doorway, and her exit out. “If that’s the case.”

Elide whirled around to face him, dark eyes wide. “Lorcan. What— What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you,” he replied, crossing his arms over his chest.

She blinked. “How did your exams go today?”

How in the hell could she even be thinking about his exams? When so much had happened between them the night before.

“Good,” he admitted. “Flew through them with no problems.”

“I knew you would,” she whispered, twirling her loose hair around her finger again.

His eyes caught on those fingers. They were painted a deep red color now, like that shitty wine she liked to drink. But he couldn’t stop thinking of where they’d been the night before.

His voice was quiet when he asked, “Why haven’t you texted me back today?”

Those eyes flared again. “I haven’t had my phone. I forgot it somewhere when we left this morning. We stopped to pick up dinner on the way home and only got back a few minutes ago, I hadn’t even had a chance to look for it.”

Lorcan faltered, thinking about the long list of notifications she would surely receive from him when she did finally look at her phone. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Oh. Well. Maybe, don’t, then.”

A dark brow slowly lifted. “Why not?”

“Because you’re going to have a shit ton of missed voicemails and texts from me, wondering why you’re not answering me after…” His words trailed off as he took a step into the kitchen and cleared his throat. “After last night.”

Elide swallowed, but she didn’t move from where she was standing, didn’t step closer to where Lorcan stood on the opposite end of the kitchen. “I see.” Her words were quiet. “And what exactly happened last night?”

Lorcan’s stomach dropped. Surely she hadn’t forgotten. Yeah, they’d been drinking, but it hadn’t been that much. Unless she wanted to forget. Unless he really had ruined something between them last night and she was giving him an out to pretend nothing had happened, that nothing had changed.

“I— I guess nothing,” he breathed, his voice quiet. He inclined his head to the food behind her. “I’ll help you carry this into the living room and leave you to your girl’s night. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Elide’s quiet laugh drew his eyes back to hers. “Aelin has already dragged Rowan back to her room. Girl’s night was doomed the second he walked through the door.” She took the smallest step towards him and it took everything in him to stay rooted against the counter he leaned on. “And I guess you and I remember last night very differently, because that wasn’t nothing to me.”

Lorcan’s jaw locked and he swore he felt his cheeks turn red. “It wasn’t?”

Elide shook her head.

“What was it then?”

“I have a feeling you came here to tell me just that,” Elide said, stopping just in front of him. “At least, I hope you-.”

Lorcan took her face in both of his hands and pressed his lips to hers.

He had never been good with words.

He was hoping his actions would help him say what he couldn’t quite string together.

Apparently, they did, because her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him down to meet her fully and holding him to her. After a moment, they pulled apart, both panting slightly.

“Was that offer for dinner earlier your version of asking me out?” She breathed.

“Dinner, dessert, coffee, ice cream,” he muttered against her lips, already leaning back in for more. “You tell me what you want and that’s our date.” Pausing, he added, “But last night was…amazing, for more than just…you know.” His words trailed off and they both blushed. “I want to take you out though. On a real date. I’ve wanted to for a long time.”

Elide kissed him again, and he thought that was her answer, until she whispered against his lips, “Okay.”

“Okay?” Lorcan lifted her up, turning them so she sat on the counter and he stepped between her legs.

Dragging her hands down his arms, Elide added, “But it can’t end up how last night did.”

Lorcan was nodding. “I understand, that’s completely fine. I can wait—.”

“I’ll need you to touch me this time,” she interrupted, and Lorcan’s mouth fell open.

He swallowed, eyes going wide in understanding, and then nodded. “I can— I can do that.”

Tugging on the front of his shirt, Elide pulled his lips to hers again. Lorcan took very little convincing.

#snacmc collabs #what happens next?#elorcan #throne of glass #elide lochan #lorcan salvaterre #lorcan lochan

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