#so we can do whatever we want without having to schedule around bf’s family’s schedule

[stinkrascal]

oh also next wednesday me, bf, and our two best friends will be flying to colorado again for a trip! so i probably won’t be very active next week and i prob won’t post straud either bc i don’t like to post my story when i’m not near my computer to be chatty about it ha. but i’m soooooo excited to go back, i’ve missed co so much!!!

[cno-inbminor]

domus

a/n: here we have another short drabble dump! i wrote this up very quickly -- i’m still working on that long fic i’ve been talking about! i apologize for taking so long to put it together. pls take this short fic as an apology for now. stay hydrated, wear your masks, and be safe! love you all so dearly <3 

plot: when kuroo tetsuro drops the hard-hitting truth that he’s fallen out of love with you, your first thought is to escape. but you find comfort in the least likely person: akaashi keiji, a boy you had grown up with out of forced family interactions, who always seemed so distant from you. yet you probably knew more about him than anyone else. 

characters: fem!reader, ex-bf!kuroo, & family friend!akaashi 

wc: ~3.7k, will probably have other parts in the future.

genre/warnings: angst with dashes of fluff; mentions of alcohol

pt. 2 | pt. 3

edit: now crossposted to AO3!

When you’re in love, you spend weeks and months wondering why time won’t stop. You sit and ponder over why you’ll have to die someday and leave behind the person you’ve dedicated your entire soul to, or what might happen if your death came early and you didn’t get to say goodbye. You wonder why the seasons seem to pass you by so quickly, that in the blink of an eye, you go from enjoying a cup of iced tea on the porch to holding a mug of hot chocolate inside watching snowflakes swirl in their journeys to the ground.

But when love ceases to exist, time seems to stop. The days drag for longer, the seasons crawl at a turtle’s pace, and the inevitable end feels less terrifying. You no longer fear the eventual sagging of your skin or the spider legs that grow at the corners of your eyes. You no longer cling onto a hope that there will be a lover’s hand holding yours at your bed of eternal sleep. You simply become, just you. Solitary, single, independent you.

It’s no longer you and someone else. The realization stings so badly that it physically hurts you, a whimper leaving your throat. You shakily reach over for the next blouse and fight back the tears, teeth gnawing at your bottom lip. The skin is chapped and broken to the point that you would need layers and layers of chapstick to save any semblance of it, a terrible habit that you wish you hadn’t possessed. It’s muscle memory, the way you fold the blouse in half, fold the sleeves in, bending it over your arm before it lands in a neat stack of other tops in your suitcase. Your eyes take a glance at the clock, and you gather you have about another hour before you needed to leave for the airport and make it on time for your flight.

You ignore the male figure hunched over on the edge of your bed, tuning out his pleas and broken promises. He begs you to give him time, to implore that it’s all his fault and he’ll make it work for the two of you. Tetsuro promises that he didn’t mean to and that it wasn’t anything you did, but you feel so empty inside that you can’t even find the energy to argue, to turn on him and say that he was pretending to take all the blame so it’d be a better explanation to all your friends. A relationship involves both parties, and while there were special exceptions, this wasn’t one of them. Something was clearly wrong with you, and you were okay with that. You were just tired of Testuro attempting to take everything onto himself.

“I thought it’d be best to come clean with you,” he says, throat hoarse from lack of hydration. “I know you would question it and I haven’t done anything, I swear, I know you’re amazing and don’t deserve to live a lie and—”

“Do you want me to say ‘thank you’?” You interjected quietly, morosely. Your hands slide open the underwear drawer and take out a week’s worth of underwear, bras, and bralettes. “Do you want me to express my gratitude in your honesty for telling me that you don’t love me anymore? You can easily buy a trophy online and make the inscription yourself. ‘Most honest man alive’? Is that what you want?” You ask, tone flat and not possessing the least bit of amusement and humor.

“Can’t you give me some time? I’ll try, I’ll try to figure out what went wrong, and I can love you again. We can still get married and everything, but please don’t leave.”

“I’m not leaving forever, Tetsu. I’m just gone for a week, maybe more.”

“Where are you even going?”

“That’s none of your business,” you quickly reply, defenses back up as you make a beeline for the bathroom. You pick up all the toiletries you can, the ones that would be allowed in your carry-on. Strangers won’t care about your missing skincare routine and your complexion not looking its best.

“What if you get lost? Or kidnapped? What if people ask—”

“Easy. Just tell them I had a last minute business trip, family emergency, whatever floats your boat.”

“Can’t you see that I’m trying? I—”

“This isn’t just about you!” You snap, whirling around to look at him for the first time in the last hour or so. Testuro notices with a pang in his heart that your cheeks have sunken in slightly since he broke his revelation to you just last week, the eye circles darker than ever. But your eyes are soulless, dead, no shine or spark that he’d wake up to every morning even muddled with sleep.

“You can’t just expect me to be okay and continue to bend over backwards for you without question. The least you could do is give me my time, give me some space to think about all of it. That’s the bare minimum.”

And with that, you zip your suitcase shut, grab your passport (even though you probably don’t need it), keys, wallet, and phone, and walk as quickly as you can to the front door. The scheduled Uber will arrive in just a few minutes, and as you slip into a pair of flats, you can hear the creak of the bed and Testuro’s padded steps nearing you.

“Just be careful, okay? Call me if you need anything, anything. You’re still one of the most important people to me, so just – text me at some point. Let me know you’re alive at least.”

“You need to rest. You’re on call tomorrow,” you digress while opening the door.

“(Y/n)—”

“I’ll text you. Promise.”

And the door shuts behind you.

-

Your relationship with Akaashi Keiji is…hard to explain. In fact, you’re not even sure what to refer him as in your life. Anytime you spoke of him or attempted to explain, you’d fumble over words and draw blanks. While it was irritating and aggravating at times, you learned to just accept it.

Akaashi Keiji was the neighbor down the street, two years older, and someone who had known you since you were 8. Your moms were attached at the hip not longer after you moved to Tokyo, and that meant holidays were spent together, impromptu get-togethers and dinners were a common occurrence, and you saw him frequently at school. He was a quiet soul, gentle, but reserved. In fact, most of the things you knew about him were secondhand conversations from your mother talking about the family, because honestly his mom was basically your second mom now, and your mother trusted you with everything. His past, his troubles, his personality all relayed through your mom from his own, and when you saw him in the hallways, he wasn’t much of an enigma to you. Many other girls had found the mysterious air around him to be attractive, that the pretty setter who only ever smiled around his volleyball team and kept a tight circle of friends had something significant beneath the layers.

Keiji grew up with you, playing Smash on the Wii to pass time as your parents gossiped away. Sometimes, you’d play an intense game of Monopoly with him, a game that typically tipped in his favor. He never said much about himself, always relayed more about others that overlapped in your lives. The most he ever spoke to you about was when it came to teachers at school, even giving you some of his old notes and pointers. But even you could tell that he kept his guards up, and you wondered if he even classified you as a friend.

Your go-to explanation of Keiji’s standing in your life was a family friend. But that insinuated you were close with him, which you weren’t at all. No matter how many times he walked home with you (mainly at the pushing from his mother), no matter how many times he was forced to entertain you at dinners and holidays, no matter how many times he gave you a small smile in school, there was such a large gap between the two of you. He always seemed so different around his team, like they had the privilege of knowing the real him, and at times, you felt…jealous.

And the weird thing is that you can rely on him somehow – whether it be because he’d get an earful from his parents if he didn’t help you when you asked it or out of the goodness of his heart, he was simply always there. Sometimes, you were bold enough to text him about a show he talked about in the past, and he would reply quickly as if your unexpected, rare text about something benign didn’t faze him at all.  

Yet despite the distance, despite the lack of any semblance of an actual friendship with him, he was the first one you thought of when all this happened. He was the one you wanted to see – maybe it’s because he was the closest thing to home, and you didn’t want to go back to your parents explaining everything. It’s been a while since you’ve been back in Tokyo, ever since you moved to Sapporo for your job and Testuro got matched for a residency at a hospital there.

At 7PM on a Friday afternoon, past the baggage claim with the sunset beaming in through the sliding glass doors, you stare at Keiji’s contact on your phone, thumb hovering hesitantly over the call button. You could count the number of times you’ve called him on one hand, but this was an emergency, right? Is this why your heart is pounding against your chest, so anxious that you feel like you’ll break into a cold sweat any time soon?

You jump into the deep end.

Your hand nervously brings the phone to your ear, waiting with bated breath as the dial tone echoes in the chamber of your brain. Part of you wants him to miss the call so you can avoid this awkward conversation, but another part of you desperately wants him to pick up as if he’ll be able to save you.

Oh god oh god oh god, you panic as the tone stops, there’s a pause, a rustle, and then a hesitant, “—Hello?”

You didn’t plan this out. You’re not ready for this. Shit, what are you supposed to say?

“—hello? (Y/n)?”

“Have you had dinner yet?”

Wow, you’re a terrible conversationalist.

“…um, I haven’t actually. I was about to warm up some leftovers?”

Your eyes focus on the taxis driving by, picking up passengers as they get waved down. Maybe you should just find a cheap hotel nearby, continue this conversation tomorrow.

“Well…I’m in town, actually. I just landed about 30 minutes ago and realized I didn’t have anywhere to go and I don’t really want to call anyone else and I don’t exactly know who else to call so I just, um, thought about calling you and asking if you’ve had dinner? Which if you’re busy and stuff, that’s totally fine, I should’ve texted you beforehand instead of springing this on you and—”

“(Y/n), it’s okay, alright? It’s okay. I’m not busy, so you can stop by. Did my mom ever give you my address?”

Keiji’s brief attempt to calm you down works, surprisingly. You allow yourself to take a deep breath despite the stale airport air, but it was some much-needed oxygen. This is going to be okay, Keiji doesn’t hate you quite yet.

“N-no, she never did.”

“That’s fine, I’ll text it to you. My place is about 30 minutes from the airport, I’d recommend getting a taxi instead of an Uber. I’ll order some delivery—”

“Oh, you don’t have to—”

“You still like the miso ramen from that shop not far from your house, right? They opened up a second store not far from where I live.”

How did he remember that? You’re pretty sure your own mother had forgotten that fact by now.

“Y-yeah, I do,” you smile to yourself. “I still think about it sometimes.”

“Sounds good then. Get here safely then.”

“Okay. Thank you loads again. I’m sorry for all this—”

“Don’t worry about it. Keep me updated, see you later.”

“Yeah, bye.”

Not 30 seconds later, a text arrives to your phone with an address, a keycode for getting past the main door, and other relevant instructions.

-

Keiji’s apartment is exactly as you expect it to be – prim, proper, neat almost to a fault, with minimalist decorations. The apartment complex he lives in is rather high-end, if the security guards standing outside the main entrance indicated anything. You almost feel completely out of place or like a bug on the wall as you step in after him, a rather comfortable silence between the two of you. His kitchen is spotless and almost sparkles back at you, and the only thing that seems out of place are the containers of your ramen he so kindly ordered for you.

“Your place is really nice, it’s really…you,” you comment, setting your stuff down at the door. Keiji indulges you with a quiet laugh, making sure that there wasn’t anything that would be in your way. His glasses are perched on his head, an old monochrome t-shirt on his shoulders and sweatpants hung low on his hips, yet in this apartment that almost seems like it should be in an interior design magazine, he looks at home. His ethereal beauty, the softness in his eyes, the gentle up-turned strands of his hair – he belonged here.

“The ramen came not too long ago, so it’s still hot. I’ll go ahead and put it together, you can put your jacket on the couch.”

“Oh, thank you.”

Instead, you fold your jacket over your suitcase and quietly make your way into the apartment. Straight across from you are doors to a balcony – darkness had long taken over the city, so you see nothing but your reflection at first. But as you near the plexiglass, the reflection disappears into the view and you almost gasp from the beauty of it.

Blinking lights, flashing billboards, and the brightly lit Tokyo Skytree peer back at you. It only hits you now how much you’ve missed home, and that even though Sapporo was one of the largest cities in Japan, it still wasn’t Tokyo.

“I never get tired of it,” Keiji chimes in while carrying your bowl of ramen to the dining table.

“It’s an amazing view, I can see why you’d live here,” you reply while moving away from it. The table also has two empty wine glasses, and just as you’re about to ask him why they were there, he returns with a newly opened bottle of chardonnay.

“I haven’t had a lot of time to restock the wine fridge, but I knew I was going to kick myself for not having a bottle of that dessert wine we had before you went off to college,” he said with mirth and amusement. “You remember that one?”

“Yeah,” you nearly splutter, almost flushing that once again, Keiji was remembering details about you that you didn’t even know. “Your mom wanted to throw me a graduation dinner and you made it back in time after finals. And she had a bottle of it and between the two of us, we probably drank most of it. Our parents said it was too sweet.”

He nods and sits across from you, elbows on the table as you mutter, “Itadakimasu,” and start eating. You finish your meal silently for the most part, making small talk here and there. Keiji refills both of your glasses and the two of you sip the wine demurely, and while he seems okay with the lack of an explanation, you’re struggling to find the right words.

“So what’s with the impromptu trip to Tokyo? Are you going to see your parents?”

“Should I try to lie to you?”

“It’s up to you.”

Oh, okay then.

But he looks expectant, as if he knows you wouldn’t lie to him – in fact, you’ve never lied to him before. There was never any need to, but did that just mean neither of you ever cared enough?

“Something happened with me and Testuro. I don’t want to bore you with the details, but at the end of the day…I just needed to get away, as cliché as it sounds,” you laugh brokenly. Keiji continues to carefully observe you with a stare that you can’t escape. “I don’t want to tell my parents – you know them, they’ll ask a million questions. Without thinking, I booked a ticket to Tokyo and…now I’m here.”

That was a lie. How are you supposed to tell Keiji that he was the first person you thought of in an effort to run away? You and Keiji have never gotten personal before, he made sure of that. The last thing you want to do is weird him and scare him off.

“…did he cheat on you?” Keiji asked. His voice is darker in his inquiry, deeper than you’ve ever heard before. He has his hands folded in front of his lips and his eyes harden. Testuro may be an old friend to him, but you were in his life longer.

“Nonononono,” you quickly wave off. This isn’t the time to slander your…boyfriend? Could Tetsuro still even be your boyfriend if he no longer has any feelings for you? “Nothing like that.”

“That’s good to hear. If you want, you can tell me another time then. You’re welcome to stay here until you go back to Sapporo.”

You look up at him, eyes incredulous. Could Keiji really be this comfortable with you?

“I wouldn’t mind staying tonight, but I can stay in a hotel for the rest of the week that I’m here.”

“Nonsense,” Keiji refutes, standing from the table and taking your wine glasses to the sink. You follow with your bowl and he starts washing them before you can even offer. “Mom would kill me if she knew I let you pay for a hotel when I have a perfectly functioning bed you can stay in.”

“I mean, if it’s not a bother…”

“It’s not. The futon’s pretty comfortable, I’ve definitely fallen asleep on it plenty of times.”

“We can switch, I would never let you sleep on the futon for a whole week.”

“If you say so then. But for tonight, you can take my bed. Let me grab you an extra towel so you can shower. I’m sure you’ve had a long day,” he says while drying everything off, folding the kitchen towel neatly before heading off to his room. He returns with a large, soft grey towel and you shyly take it from him with a word of thanks, but he stays there in front of you, waiting for something.

“I’m really glad you picked up the phone,” you whisper softly, feeling the effects of the alcohol. You’re entering uncharted territory for the two of you, and this could either kill or strengthen this odd distant friendship. “I meant it when I said I didn’t know who else to call. You were the first person that came to mind and just…I don’t want to make this weird, like you can kick me out,” you begin to ramble. “Don’t feel like you’re obligated to take me in because your mom would be disappointed if you wouldn’t, you’ve already put up with me for over 15 years and it’s fine, I can be on my own and—”

Smooth, calloused hands delicately hold your face, large palms and nimble fingers cupping your cheeks. Your words die on your tongue as Keiji stares straight into your eyes, holding your gaze until your breathing calms down to a steady, languid pace. “You’re my friend, (y/n). So it’s good that you called me.”

“I’m your…friend?” You ask unsteadily, feeling a sense of disbelief.

“Yeah,” he confirms with the corners of his lips turning up slightly. “We’re friends.”

“Okay.”

“Okay. Now go shower.”

“Okay.”

-

You’re fast asleep before Keiji finishes his own shower, his bedroom door left ajar as the hallway light beams through. He pauses in the midst of drying his hair with a towel, letting it bunch and hang off his neck as he cautiously pushes the door open. Keiji notices your even breathing and how much more relaxed you look in sleep. You’re curled up on your side with the blanket pulled up to your face and he can’t lie: it’s adorable and cute, and he shouldn’t really be thinking these things.

He sits on the edge of the bed in the little space that’s provided, lithe fingers reaching out to brush back a few stray wisps of your hair. Watching you sleep pulls him back into a fond memory he’s kept of the two of you, one that might’ve held very little significance to you but meant something so much more to him. He knows you know him well, he knows how much his mother babbles on about him, and adults were more prone to gossip than the rowdiest of teenagers – he’d be painfully oblivious if he didn’t think you knew that much about him, or more than the average friend.

But it’s comforting to him, sometimes. Knowing you, how kindly you think of others, he might not have to explain what he’s feeling in the moment. You would be able to know, and that soothes him to some degree.

Maybe he had a little bit too much wine as well, but ever so subtly, motions steady and unhurried, he deftly leans closer and closer until his lips brush the apple of your cheek. He lingers for no more than a few seconds and sits back up, gazing at you before standing. His hands adjust the blankets and make sure you’re properly tucked in. He pads away, shutting the door behind him as quietly as possible as to not wake you.

And when he’s found a comfortable position on the futon with his most comfortable throw blanket, he realizes, begrudgingly, that this week will fly by too fast for his liking.  

[yehetalltheway]

A BORING SUMMER

Description: meeting him was fate. I remember his smile, his eyes they gave me comfort but then it was all gone. Will I ever meet him? Or are my insecurities going to win again.

Pairing: Sehun x Reader

Word count: 1,205

A/N: this picture does not belong to me. credits to the owner. 

The most boring time of the year was here, I wish I could say that I was excited but honestly this time of the year was as boring as it could get. Being a second year student at a university is easy as long as you ain’t working, but the second you take a job, well there goes your happiness. I too had plans for my vacation up until my stupid best friend decided to ditch me and go for a little couple’s adventure with her boyfriend. 

And so here am I at 10am in the morning, working at a café (where my best friend and I were going to work together btw). But its okay, I can do this. Here comes a customer. “Smile y/n smile.”

Just like this, a smile would always appear as soon as he would arrive. A complete stranger, I don’t even know his name or how old he is, but something felt just right but wrong at the same type. We all have an aura and to put in simpler terms his one was dark and luminous at the same time. I guess that it why I fell.

It’s been 3 weeks since his first arrival and at this point I know his proper schedule. He comes in at 11:30, orders an Iced Americano or sometimes when he is happy he choses Chocolate Boba Tea (but that is rare), he sits beside the window and stares. His eyes wonder as if they have no particular destination, as if they are just trying to take everything and everyone in, but soon after they land, they find my own. 

Today was different, he walked in just like he always does, a freshly steamed suit adores his body. Shockingly today he speaks for longer than 5 seconds, his beautiful voice melts and I am dumbfounded. 

“It’s a beautiful day, don’t you think?”, says he.

I try to find my words but they don’t come out.

“What I mean is that although the sun is at its peak, the rays they dance as if they are meeting the ground for the first time.”

“Ummm... the day... yeah its pretty.” oh lord what, why am I fumbling. Stop acting as if you have never met a hot guy before!

“I can’t help but notice that you are quite dressed up today. Any special occasion?”

OH MY GOD, does he know that I dressed up extra today (face palm). Wait is he noticing me? 

“Ummm... No. Just felt like it. Uhhh I don’t have a boyfriend.” wait what, did I just say I don't have a bf. What is wrong with me???

But then I heard it the most beautiful thing in this world, his laughter. Not to sound weird but I can listen to his laugh all the damn time. His calm and serious composure broke in a second and his eyes curled beautifully. How can someone be so handsome and cute at the same time?  

“Well then isn’t it my luck day.” And with that he left, he didn’t even sit down, he just took his coffee and left.

God I have never been as embarrassed as I am today, after what happened yesterday I hope he forgets that this place existed. For a minute I thought that he had. As soon as the closing time came around my stomach was filled with nervousness and anxiety what an idiot am I. But then the door opened and there he, only this time he smiles and waves AT ME!! 

“Hi. You look as pretty as always. Can I get 1 Chocolate boba tea and 1 whatever your favorite is.” he said as if I hadn’t said anything embarrassing the day prior.

“Right... my favorite?? Are you expecting company??” , to be honest I would get jealous if he says yes. Weirdly enough I have developed a crush on him and i would break my tiny little heart if he says yes.

“YES... yes I am.” he says, or should I say he screamed it out. Well he didn’t have to rub it on me like that. 

“YOU.” wait what did he just say.

“ME?? You are asking me to coffee??” 

“Yeah if its okay with you.”

That is how we got close, his scheduled changed, instead of coming in the morning he came during the evening close to the end of my shift. We would drink some coffee, talk a lot and walk our way back. 

His name is Oh Se Hun, his work - he doesn’t talk about it much but from what I know he works in a family business. Although he is 4 years older than me, never have I ever felt uncomfortable with him.

“You know, there are people in this world who enter your life at the right time, just when you need them the most. They stay with you until they are needed and then just like they entered, they leave. Honestly, you came into my life when I needed it the most, but I am scared that you want me to leave yours as quickly as I entered.”, he says, while he played with my head was lying on his lap and he was caressing my hair. 

“What do you mean? Are you telling me that you are leaving or is it just one of your lame philosophical talks. Se Hun, you are scaring me, would you please answer!” I don’t know why but I am scared, as if all of this was just a dream and that I am going to wake up and become my old, unhappy, introverted self. 

Being with Se Hun has changed me, my shy self has started talking more, everyone around me is shocked by this change. I have started smiling more, my colleagues definitely think I need to see a doctor cause my lips are always up. He is a ray of sunshine in my dark boring life and without him I’ll be broken and damned.

That was the last time I ever saw him. With those words he disappeared, into thin air as if he never existed. My summer love. That day, I wish I would have kissed him, hugged him, told him how I felt. But I didn’t, I couldn’t. I couldn’t stop thinking why would someone like him, like someone like me. Would he have stayed if I would have confessed? Was he trying to tell me something every time he held my hand as if I was a baby who would get separated from him? Was he just a summer feeling or was he my knight in a black tailored suit? 

Whatever the reason may have been, I had lost him forever. I lost him to my insecurities, to my doubts and now he was gone. 

Here I am 3 years later, applying for a job at a company just minding my own business when I bump into someone. It’s the same old smile, the same dark eyes, the same scent, even the way my name rolls out of his tongue is the same. 

The only difference is, that I have changed thanks to him. This time I have held onto him and I won’t let go that easy. 

[purplesurveys]

1183

survey by xflirtykaosx

Alphabetti Spaghetti (1/3)

And we will fall in love with shooting stars. - A

Have you ever seen an Aardvark? I don’t think so.

Were you ever abandoned in a public place as a child? Where? Abandoned is a pretty harsh word lol. My parents did like playing pranks on me and hide whenever I’d get distracted at the grocery or department store. They’d let me get nervous or even tear up for a bit until showing up again.

What accent do you have? I guess just your standard Filipino English accent that’s common among people who were able to take up English studies. I don’t really know how to describe it.

Is there someone in your family addicted to something? What is it? I don’t think so.

Have you ever been under general anaesthetic? What were you having done? I think so? When I had a tooth extraction done on me two years ago I was told I was going to be injected with anaesthesia, but I didn’t feel as if anything changed throughout the procedure. Either my dentist told me fake news lol or he’s just really good at his job for me to not notice anything.

How do you show the ones you love affection? It depends on the person. Around my friends, I know I’ve had taken a liking to them once I start getting especially talkative with them. For people I have even deeper relationships with, I like...buying them gifts, I guess. Getting them things that remind me of them. I would also bend over backwards to do nice deeds for them, like driving them to their destination even if I find it far.

Are you more passive or aggressive? I tend to be very passive aggressive in the way I deal with things.

Do you like the band Aha!? Not in particular.

Do you know anyone called Aidan? What are they like? Nope.

Ever heard of the band Ajax? No but I know that’s a brand of like cleaner or something. That’s close enough to ‘band’ haha.

Do you know anyone called Akash? I don’t either.

Do the sound of fire alarms scare you? They would obviously be scary if it rang for a real reason. Who wouldn’t freak out over a fire?

Do you live in America? If so, which state? If visited, where'd you go? No, and I’ve never visited either. I’d love to take a trip to cities like New York, New Orleans, Portland, and Chicago one of these days.

Have you ever had an ant infestation in your house? Only when there’s food left out accidentally.

Aora - did I spell that correctly? I don’t even know what you’re referring to, so I can’t tell you if you’ve spelled whatever it is right.

Do you have a preference in Apple? What type do you prefer? I don’t quite get this question - like a preference within Apple products? I mean, a phone and a laptop are essentials for me, and generally I do prefer having an iPhone and Macbook over other brands; but I can live without an iPad, an Apple Watch, iMac, Apple Pen, etc...if this is what you mean.

Are you an Aquarian? Is anyone in your family/your partner/best friend? ...You mean Aquarius? No. I don’t believe in astrology nor pay attention to zodiac signs either, so I wouldn’t be able to name Aquariuses that I know right off the bat.

Have you ever worn any type of armor? Which type? I don’t think I’ve ever had to, no.

Do you use the word ass a lot? Kinda, but it’s usually part of a longer word, i.e. asshole, asshat, deadass, etc.

Have you or your family had an attorney? What for? Not to my knowledge.

Is your car/family’s car an automatic gear or manual? Automatic.

Are you interested in aviation, piloting and aircrafts? Just the slightest bit. I would love to learn how to fly a plane, and I would be willing to pay for lessons. It’s just the type of activity that’s super hard to squeeze into an already-hectic schedule of mine.

What was the last award you recieved for? A academic distinction in college.

Axl Rose - like or dislike? Like, but I’m nowhere near a passionate fan. I just don’t have any reasons to actively dislike him.

Do you like air being spelt ayre or ayer in rap or hiphop or is it nasty? I don’t care.

Is the sky outside Azure? If not, what shade is it? No, it’s pitch black.

Belle amour (we've been here before). - B

Do you call anyone baby? Is it sweet or an overrated name for affection? Just my dogs. I find it sweet; it’s my preferred term of endearment if in a relationship.

Bby - does this shortened version bug you? No; my friends and I use this with each other.

Do you know what BC in terms of time stands for? Before Christ, but I prefer using BCE.

BDf - For or against? I don’t know what this is referring to.

Do you prefer beach breaks, city breaks or winter breaks? Why? Beach breaks. Winter break is an immediate cross-out since we don’t even have winter; and I already live and work in an urban area as it is. Beaches are my way to go if I want to escape life for a bit and completely unwind.

Do you spell out boyfriend properly or put bf in texts/online? I can use either depending on what I feel like typing out. It’s not that serious haha.

Do you know what bg is short for? Upon reading this question I immediately thought ‘background,’ but if this question had another meaning in mind I wouldn’t be aware of it.

Do you know anyone with the last name Bhays? No.

Have you ever been bird watching? What did you see? No, doesn’t sound like my kind of hobby.

Do you like Bjork? Not in particular, but just like the Axl Rose question I don’t have anything against her either.

What does this read: bk 2moz miss u lyk fk. Doesn't this text speak annoy? No one types like this anymore at least among people I know, but I imagine it would lowkey bother me a bit.

Do you like BMWs? They’re whatever. I don’t pay attention to cars much.

What is the nearest book to you called? How many times have you read it? There aren’t any books here up on the rooftop.

BnQ - gone there? What did you buy? Idk what that is.

Are you more brainy or brave? I wanna say brainy, if anything? I’m pretty jumpy lol.

Did you like the BSBs (Backstreet Boys) as a kid? How about now? No, I’m a little too young for that generation of artists and groups.

Burgers, Hot Dogs or Salads at a Barbecue? We don’t really practice ~barbecues~ here. But at Filipino parties I would usually flock to lumpia and fried chicken, hehe.

Do you have a Byro? No, because I also don’t know what that is.

Cold eyes and filthy lies all leave me petrified. - C

Do you have a Cactus (Cacti)? No, I don’t like plans.

Do you know what a CCTV is? Yes...?

How many CDs are in the room you are currently in? None where I am right now but I have all of Beyoncé’s albums save for Lemonade in my bedroom. I also have Paramore’s self-titled album and Hayley Williams’ Petals For Armor. My CD collection is about to experience a revival because of BTS, though. My plan to get all versions of all their albums is rock solid, lmao.

What's your favourite cereal brand? Cookie Crisps.

Do you like children's TV shows still? Which one(s)? I’ll revisit an episode or two of shows I watched as a kid at a given time for old times’ sake, but I don’t regularly watch children’s TV shows anymore. I haven’t for a very long time.

Cinnamon - Yum or Yuck? I’m actually kind of in the middle about it. I feel like too many desserts have been banking on cinnamon, so the taste of it can be a little tiring. It’s delicious if I haven’t had it for a while, though.

Do you know anyone with the initials and or name CJ? Quite the opposite; I know PLENTY of JCs, even my sister is one. I know one or two CJs but that’s it.

Have you ever met a self professed clairvoyant? What did they do/say? No.

Do you watch CNN News? What's your prefered news channel/show? I don’t tune into the channel but every once in a while I will encounter a CNN link on social media that I’d actually click on and read through. As for preferred news sources, I don’t have one as there are matters to criticize about 99% of them lol; but I am most likely to trust articles I from AP or Reuters. Just things you pick up as a journalism student. 

How many cousins do you have? I have 9 first cousins. I lose count by the time I try to go beyond that since I don’t even know all of my dad’s cousins, which makes it hard to track who my second cousins are.

Do you still draw with crayons? When was the last time you did? Drew what? I don’t remember anymore.

Do you know what a CSS feed is? What is it? I’m familiar with the term but never bothered to learn about what it is.

Do you like cycling/biking? What type of bike do you have? ...I don’t even know how to ride a bike.

Do you really like it, is it is it wicked. - D

What is the most dangerous animal you've petted/held? I can’t decide between snake or crocodile.

Do you like Death Metal? If so, which band(s)? I wouldn’t say I do.

Did you ever keep a diary/journal? I did a million attempts to keep a diary when I was younger, but I was never able to keep up with any of them and I ended up having 4598358395 notebooks with one or two entries each at most. Having a Tumblr page for surveys has so far been my most successful streak at keeping some type of journal.

Do you prefer small, medium, large or no dogs? I prefer all dogs.

Do you know what DP stands for in porn? Yes.

Have you ever dressed up as a celebrity for a party/Halloween? I went as my favorite female wrestler once. I wouldn’t strictly call her a celebrity, but she’s a very well-known personality in the wrestling industry so she’s popular in that right.

DS or Wii? Why? Wii. I was able to make more memories with it.

Does dust make you sneeze or cough? Sneeze, usually.

How many DVDs do you have all together? Idk, I don’t buy DVDs anymore.

Do you dye your hair regularly, sometimes or never? I’ve never done it.

Every love lies sometimes . . . - E

What's something you refuse to eat? Most fruits.

Don't you think the word ebb is so pretty? I’m neutral about it. I don’t use it a lot.

Do you like Chocolate Eclairs? I love eclairs in general haha. Chocolate eclairs in particular sound delicious.

Ever tried edible paper? Yeah, with the White Rabbit candy.

Eevee - pretty name or too Pokemon-y? Definitely very Pokemon-y. 

Do you sometimes mix up the spellings/meanings of affection and defection? Erm, no? They have completely different spellings and meanings, so I personally have never switched them up.

Do you have a big ego, low self esteem or somewhere in between? I think I’m somewhere in between. I’m insecure about some things about myself, but I don’t really put myself down 24/7. I feel like that would put such a strain on my mental health, which I certainly would never need.

What Element does your starsign fall under? I think earth? My co-workers were just discussing this last Friday, but I couldn’t really butt in since I can’t bring myself to care about astrology. I know they mentioned Taurus being an earth sign though.

Do you show your emotions easily and freely or hide them? Depends...I can do either depending on the situation.

What is your favourite form of entertainment? Korean reality shows are quickly becoming a favorite of mine at the moment. I also like compilation videos on YouTube.

What will they write on your epitaph? I’ve honestly hadn’t put much thought into this yet, and I don’t plan to anytime soon. It just seems like a super grave thing to think about lol.

Estimate/guess what number we are on now? Maybe 60s or 70s?

Do you know basic social etiquette? I mean etiquette will always differ per country or culture, so what is basic in other countries might not be here, and vice versa. I think it’s hard to measure.

Does your country use the Euro, Great British Pound, Dollar or other? Other.

Do you still get excited on Christmas Eve? Yes. Mostly for the free food and the opportunity to see relatives I really only ever see every December 24.

What animal/creature that is extinct do you wish wasn't? Those that went extinct from human activity.

What colour eyes do your parents have? Black/dark brown.

[aoibaratraveler]

A Look Back At My Time in Japan! Chapter 2

Welllllll it looks like it’s been a while since I last posted again...but I have an excuse! I was preparing for a pretty big interview and getting ready to make a trip back to Canada. Maybe you’ve heard of the JET programme and maybe you haven’t but I had an interview for that earlier this month and so it took up a lot of my headspace, I’ll be posting more about it once I hear my results in a month or so but I hope to not have too much of a gap anymore in between posts! Also, a mutual friend of both mine and the bf is coming to stay this weekend from Germany so I’m very excited about that and will hopefully have chapter 3 up afterward.

I said before that this will probably be a 4 part blog but you know I really just have so much to say on my experience and can hopefully provide some insight to any people looking to go on exchange to Japan in the future! Or go on exchange in general since my UK exchange story will be coming after this one! So much happened though that this may just end up being a 6 parter xD, ahh it really would have been great if I wrote what happened at the time. Well, I hope you enjoy reading about Japan through my eyes! I’ve also decided to go with naming these chapters since unlike my UK road trip blog, I’m writing this 4 years after the fact so it feels more like I’m telling a story than giving a week by week account on what I experienced. Anyway, last change to my blog! Promise!

Without further ado!

First Month on Exchange: April

I forgot to mention! At the end of chapter 1 was when I arrived in Nagasaki for the first time and earlier in the day before my homestay mother arrived to pick me up, all of the exchange students were made to sit a placement exam to determine their level of Japanese and which class they were to be placed into. Since I had barely slept the night prior and wasn’t really reviewing my textbooks until the last minute, I was only placed in Japanese 3 (they work up from 1) which was good enough for the level that I was at, at the time but if I had reviewed like I had wanted to instead of being lazy then I might have made it to Japanese level 4...but well, we’ll never know and I’m really just giving myself a hard time since I take learning languages, especially Japanese, and being a linguist super seriously. I’m a major procrastinator so of course, I put off reviewing until the last moment but I should be proud of myself for getting there and I made some really good friends that I’m still in touch with from being placed in Japanese 3. 

The day after arriving was a whirlwind! I felt like I could tackle anything and was so full of energy! I took my homestay mother up on her offer to drive me to the opening ceremony that was the day after I arrived in Nagasaki which was meant to welcome all the new exchange students and the first-year Japanese students. It was a rainy day but I was full of anticipation. I wore my best outfit that I had brought along with me and had high hopes. It was a really interesting experience as we never do opening ceremonies or anything of the sort for new university students in Canada. There are normally just fairs and maybe freebies up for grabs. My homestay mother only stayed for a small part of it and then left but it was short enough anyway so I didn’t mind. We were then shipped off to the university campus as the ceremony wasn’t actually at the school and then made to attend a sort of self-introduction and general information class where we each said a little something about ourselves and were able to ask any questions about what our life was going to be like for the next four months. I quickly seemed to grab the attention of a small Vietnamese-American who we’ll call TC. She was very bright and friendly and immediately asked if we could be friends because I said that I love to travel in my self-introduction and I seemed interesting whereas no one else did (probably should have taken this as a slight red flag but I felt flattered so whatever). We pretty quickly buddied up and spent a lot of time together thereafter. 

The next day was a Saturday and from the looks of my Google timeline, I mostly just walked around and explored my new neighbourhood the whole time and got to know my homestay family. Although Saturday morning was special because my homestay family took me up to Tateyama to go have a picnic next to the cherry blossoms since they were still in season. Tateyama has a “mountain” in the name but it’s really just a hill that was situated behind my homestay family’s apartment and it took about 30 minutes to walk up. I tried some kakigori (shaved ice) and played with the coolest little Shiba Inu. It was a lovely little morning and I got to experience the happy atmosphere of my neighborhood while we all took in the cherry blossoms. 

I was lucky enough to be placed in the centre of Nagasaki city while most other homestays were in the countryside, closer to the school. I wouldn’t have minded that since I adore the countryside of Japan and being placed in the city meant that I was an hour away from the university. My first official week in Nagasaki was jam-packed even though I hadn’t actually started my classes yet! Even though we had already attended our opening ceremony for the semester and the school year the previous Friday, classes, for the exchange students at least, weren’t scheduled to start until the second week of April and our first week was just for us to mostly do whatever we wanted! TC and I decided to spend our Monday making a day trip to the next prefecture which was Saga. We didn’t really have any idea what we wanted to do there exactly but I had recently purchased a JR Youth 18 ticket which is somewhat similar to a JR pass and anyone can buy it, not just tourists, and you can only go on local JR trains, so no bullet trains or high-speed trains. It costs about the equivalent of $120 and is good for any 5 non-consecutive days with unlimited trips on those days. We had looked up a bunch of cool things that were in Saga prefecture but would take a really long time to get to and weren’t anywhere near the actual city so we decided just to spend a day in Saga city...although we didn’t really have any choice. You see, I’m speaking to you in hindsight knowing full well how a lot of things work now...especially the JR Youth 18 ticket. I only briefly had an idea of it when I purchased it because L’s sister told me about it when I was living in Tokyo. So when TC and I embarked on our journey to explore Saga, we boarded a bullet train from Nagasaki station. We were about an hour into our trip when a conductor came by to check our ticket and notified us that we were very mistaken but he was super kind and understood that we didn’t know we had done something wrong and let us know what our next step should be. We told him where we wanted to go so he wrote out a detailed guide with all the stations we’d need to get on and get off at (after getting off the bullet train at the next stop) with all of the times. It was really helpful and I really appreciated it but what was supposed to be only an hour-long trip to the next prefecture turned into 4 and a half hours...I felt really bad because TC had left it to me since she couldn’t speak Japanese and voiced her displeasure at it all. It wasn’t a great start to the week but I think if I were on my own and the same thing was to happen then I honestly wouldn’t have minded. When we got off the bullet train we were in a really small town in the middle of nowhere that was super quiet with nothing around, it was actually really cool. We explored that area for about an hour while we waited for the next local train. There was a big river flowing through the city, an old shrine on top of a hill, and a bunch of little, colourful wind turbines lined up one after the other leading from the station to the river.  It was lovely. That stop had the longest wait for a train, the next few stops had trains coming one after the other, but we had just missed one by being on the bullet train. After a long journey, we finally made it to Saga city but it was super quiet and no one was around, maybe because it was a Monday? It was really nice though, there was something really serene about being in a city with one main street and no one around except for a few elderly people walking about. We didn’t end up staying for long but I knew from living in Tokyo for a month that government buildings of any Japanese city are usually free for people to go up to, to the top floor and get a view of the entire city so that’s what we did and it was really nice because again, no one else was there and it was just us. Afterward, we took some photos with the cherry blossoms and headed back to Nagasaki.

The next day I decided to use my JR Youth 18 ticket again to go to Sasebo which is in Nagasaki prefecture so it wouldn’t be that long of a trip but TC didn’t want to have any more long train rides for a while so I went on my own. Sasebo is well known in the prefecture by people and is a recommended spot from locals because it’s where the American naval base is and has a different vibe to it compared to other prefectures. It is also famous for the “Sasebo burger” which is essentially just a normal-sized burger to us Westerners but was designed for the surge in marines that were living in Sasebo after World War II and became a hit to all visitors thereafter. I really just spent an afternoon walking around and admiring the area because, yes, it didn’t quite feel like the rest of Japan, but not exactly like America either. You’d have to see for yourself. I mostly wanted to visit Sasebo because there was meant to be an abandoned theme park nearby and I love that sort of stuff but unfortunately I would have needed a car to get there. The train ride in and out is what made it really special. It was absolutely gorgeous because the trip went along the coast and it was such a beautiful day, I honestly wish I had videotaped it. 

The following couple of days I visited my university and more thoroughly explored the inner and outer parts of Nagasaki city, especially the biggest shrine in the area and what made that part of the city so popular, Suwajinja/ Suwa Shrine. “It is located in the northern part of the city, on the slopes of Mount Tamazono-san, and features a 277-step stone staircase leading up the mountain to the various buildings that comprise the shrine. Suwa shrine was established as a way of stopping and reversing the conversion to Christianity that was taking place in Nagasaki. In modern times it remains an important and successful center of the community.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suwa_Shrine_(Nagasaki)

I also got a job! It was the funniest thing actually. A day or so prior, I was walking with my homestay mother through town to help her go grocery shopping and I saw a little building that had an English school in it and was intrigued. Later, that night I looked the school up and decided to send them an email expressing my interest in working there part-time and if they had any open spots. I immediately got a response from the owner and he said I could come by the next day for a chat. I did just that and apparently, as I arrived, little did I know, a guy that the owner had just spent two weeks training and getting ready for the after spring break rush of students decided to quit at the last minute and do a runner. So to sum it up, after a pleasant but short conversation, I was hired on the spot. I was told to come by the next day for some quick training prep, as I had never taught English before, so that I could start the following week. He clearly needed someone after the other guy had bailed out though.

Finally, on Friday and the end of my first week in Nagasaki, all of the exchange students were taken for an overnight trip to the mountain and hot springs town of Unzen! It took us about 7 and a half hours to get there but we left early in the morning and arrived mid-afternoon so there was still plenty of time for us to do stuff. We were to stay in a traditional hotel next to a natural hot springs and several geysers. It was such a cool and mysterious area to explore with my exchange mates and TC, especially at night after soaking in the hot springs (which let me tell you was awkward considering it was my first time being naked in front of other people, other girls, but still). The air was misty because of the sulfur, smelled like rotten eggs, but that didn’t stop us from walking around in our hotel yukatas. We stayed up for a large portion of the night, took in the atmosphere and just basically partied. The next day we hiked Mount Unzen and it was awesome, the view was glorious. It was also just a really nice bonding experience and a better way for us all to get to know each other. After our hike, we were taken to the small town of Obama which wasn’t named after the former U.S. president but did have a statue of him. It was also a seaside town and was popular for its free public hot spring foot baths which we indulged in after having a delicious nabe lunch. It was an unforgettable overnight trip and did its job of helping all the exchange students get to know each other better (more detail here and below).

The following week consisted of more city exploration, settling in, my first shifts at the English school, some administrative university stuff like signing up for classes the old school way with pen and paper - gotta love Japan - and actually attending classes. It may seem a bit mundane but I enjoyed every minute of it. Oh I forgot to mention, another reason why Nagasaki is so cool to explore and why I never get tired of it is there is a big Portuguese and Dutch influence mixed in with the Japanese aesthetic because those were the first countries that Japan opened up trade to on the port of Nagasaki between the 16th and 19th centuries. To add to that, there are also several hidden Christian sites that are also UNESCO World Heritage sites around the area because when Christianity first appeared with the Dutch and the Portuguese, it was outlawed and forbidden.

In the next couple of weeks, I went strawberry picking with my homestay family which was spectacular! They had a family friend who owned a strawberry farm and we were allowed to pick an unlimited number of delicious, fresh strawberries. I’m telling you we picked enough strawberries to last us for the next few weeks and I got a strawberry coma from the amount that I ate. It was great. After strawberry picking, my homestay family took me to a restaurant nearby the farm where all the ingredients were locally sourced. A few days after that, I spent the day with a few of my new friends as well as TC and we went to the Nagasaki Penguin Aquarium and, boy, was that cool. We saw so many species of Penguin with all sorts of personalities. There was something that put a bit of a hamper in our day and that had to do with a guy who my friend so eloquently nicknamed as “kimoi” (Japanese for gross). I suppose it all started a  day or so before my friends and I decided to meet up for the aquarium. I was sitting in the lounge at uni waiting for some people when a Japanese guy approached me and wanted to chat and obviously that was no problem so I obliged because I’m always down to make new friends. He  seemed nice and friendly enough but we slowly moved from small talk to him mentioning a girl that I am now friends with but at the time didn’t know so well even though we were in the same class. He began talking shit about her and how mean she was to him and….how he wanted to kill her...I was like whoa ok no need for that, I’m sure it was a misunderstanding and I tried to cheer him up and his mood did end up getting better and then he just started complimenting me and saying how nice I was and I honestly didn’t know how to take what was happening. I honestly should have taken it more seriously but it was really just a passing conversation that I had with him since we were the only ones in the lounge and he seemed to be friends with a few other people that I had befriended. It was very strange though especially since Japanese people aren’t known to speak ill of others. Anyway, someone from the group of people I met had invited him to hang out with us at the aquarium and I was ok with it at first but...it turns out that he took our small talk that happened by chance as a sign that I liked him??? And wanted to date him?? He assumed that this whole day at the aquarium was our date and I somehow turned into his girlfriend and the other people that were there were just...third, fourth, fifth, and sixth wheels….It was bizarre and I was thoroughly creeped out. He was clearly unstable. The whole time at the aquarium he was trying to find a chance to be alone with me and get the other guys to leave but I kept making sure we were always with everyone and finally one of my guy friends took one for the team and said he’ll distract him by insisting he wants to hang out with him somewhere else while the rest of us headed back to the city. We ended the day by having a much needed calming visit to the Nagasaki Museum of History and Culture and spent a couple of hours learning about our new home. 

Then, on the 27th of April, my birthday, I was pleasantly surprised by a home celebration planned by my homestay mother. She got me a little Sailor Moon figure since I mentioned how much I love the character Sailor Moon, ordered chiraishi bowls for all of us which is essentially sashimi over rice, and some cake. I was absolutely delighted. It was a fantastic day if I do say so myself especially since earlier in the day when I was in class my new friends had all bought me snacks and wished me happy birthday. I was further spoiled after work the next day by my boss taking me and my coworkers out for an izakaya dinner, obviously I don’t drink but the food at izakayas are always sooooo good. It was definitely one of my more favourite birthdays, I was 22 and having the time of my life.

I decided to end off April and spend Golden Week, which is a week at the end of April and beginning of May filled with national holidays and is thus called “Golden Week” by making a trip to Busan, South Korea with TC. She found a deal for us to take a 3-hour ferry from Fukuoka to Busan and stay in a Couchsurfing place (which was to be my first of many). I soon learned from this trip that even though TC claimed to be travel savvy, she doesn’t really do her research very well. But I’ll get to that in a bit. We embarked on our journey from Nagasaki station by highway bus (which was the cheapest option) to Fukuoka to take our ferry. When we arrived, we quickly got lost. South Korea, well Busan, isn’t quite as easy to figure out as Japan but that’s mostly because neither of us spoke Korean. We spent a while trying to find wifi and our host’s place. We were excited to be able to explore the city of Busan at any rate and spoke to a few locals along our way who could speak a little English. When we finally found and arrived at our host’s place. We found out that our host didn’t have a bed or a blanket or anything for us to sleep on, just literally the hardwood floor of his kitchen in a small one-bedroom apartment. I mean I was grateful to have shelter, I was, but damn. TC complained that the couple of other times that she used Couchsurfing she always had her own room and bed and didn’t know why this happened but being that I now have lots of experience in Couchsurfing, I can tell you that TC was either lying or that she must have had luck of the draw with her previous Couchsurfing trips and just requested to stay with the first person that popped up in Busan. Normally, when you look on Couchsurfing you can tell what the host is offering, where you get your own room or a shared room, how much privacy you get and pictures of the place but this guy must have had nothing up on his profile otherwise I don’t see how TC would have requested to stay with him...actually I still don’t see why she requested to stay with him. I never stay with someone if they have no references, pictures, or if it’s a shared space. It was such an uncomfortable 6 days because I really was not prepared to be sleeping on a hardwood floor with no cover but the clothes from my bag. The host was really nice though and he could speak English well so that was a plus. I mostly blame TC for most likely not actually reading his profile because then I could have prepared myself.

We spent our first full day in Busan and the last day of April at the Gamcheon Culture Village which is considered the “Asian Santorini” for its colourful landscape. TC had arranged for us to meet up with another couchsurfing host and his guest. One of whom was a Vietnamese ex-pat and an American from Connecticut that had been spending the past few months traveling around Asia. He was really cool and open-minded, we both connected with the two guys really quickly and had a blast exploring the village, trying street food and heading to downtown Busan. The American guy, Z, reminded me that travel shouldn’t be about seeing as much as possible but just absorbing where you are and taking in everything as opposed to getting so much done but never actually experiencing it. We walked for ages and thoroughly investigated every nook and cranny of this intriguing village. We also hiked up to the top and took an amazing view of all of the colourful buildings and artwork. I ate a loooot of street food that day and honestly each thing was under a dollar, it was great! Two things stood out to me from my street food adventure and that was Beondegi which is silkworm pupae; bitter but not overly gross and hotteok; my absolute favourite thing that I tried even though I’m not really much of a sweet tooth. It was a deliciously sweet, caramelly thick pancake with peanuts. One of the reasons why I love Busan so much is that the food is so cheap and delicious so I really did eat a lot of it….Since we hit it off with these two other couch surfers, we decided to meet up with them a few more times before leaving Busan. Later that night when we got back to our host’s apartment, we were invited to have fried chicken with him and his friend--an absolute must-have if you’re ever in Korea.

[silkkpopbonnet]

I’m Ready

There he was again, standing with his friends in a semi-circle around his locker. Just like every day, Noelle was walking to English with her friends; and just like clockwork, as she rounded the corner he was watching her. His dark eyes looked up and met hers, a small grin on his face when he noticed how flush she got staring back at him.

“He gonna break his neck staring that hard.” Her BF Jasmine said, breaking Noelle out of her trance. “Girl what?” Noelle dismissed her, trying not to look so obvious. “For real, girl I'on know why you just don’t say something to him. He’s obviously feeling you.” Mari on her opposite side, piped in. As the girls laughed, a mutual friend of theirs Tyler came up putting his arm around Noelle and Jasmine. “Who is feeling Noelle?” Pushing his arm off, Jasmine rolled her eyes. “Ain’t nobody talking to you, always in someone’s business.” Tyler kept his arm around Noelle, ignoring Jasmine and Mari as he spoke. “So are you going to the game tonight, you know I’m playing right?” Noelle wasn’t listening, she had seen Sehun and his friends coming down the opposite hall. He was talking to Kai, but when their eyes met nothing mattered but her. As they walked past each other, Sehun nodded at her. His eyes cut to look at Tyler’s arm on her shoulder. Continuing down the hall Noelle, pursed her lips and went to class.

One year, that’s all he had to be here. The 14 hour flight from Korea, to start school in America during his senior year for one year only. Sehun was annoyed to say the least about it. Why couldn’t he stay home? He could stay with his aunt. His mother was uprooting his friends, his social life, everything he knew. His English wasn’t even that great at least not to him. She just had to follow his stepfather, a Korean-American man who owned several businesses between here and Daegu. So, on the first day of school in Spetember, in the fog and rain. Sehun looked at himself in a mirror, fixing his light brown hair as his mother stood behind him. “You’ll be fine. You’ll make lots of new friends and have new experiences.” She handed him his backpack, smiling. He didn’t mean to take the bag so roughly from her hands, but he did. “Eomma, please. I wanted to stay in Korea, it was my last year.” She gave him a small smile. “You always wanted to study abroad.” “I said maybe, I certainly didn’t think rainy Seattle.” He clenched his teeth, walking past her to the front door. “Sehun, please. I wanted to be with your father. Can you please just try to be open about this?” His mother asked, standing in the hall as he pulled his coat around his face. “Yea, Eomma…I’ll try.” Heading out the door he looked up at the sky, as a fat raindrop splashed on his face. “Fuckin place.” He rode the bus, talking to the few Koreans he had met before school started. America certainly was as diverse as was televised. He had never seen so many people who looked different from each other in one place. Laughing and smiling, mixed couples kissing. Not that he was against that, no, but Korea…In Korea everyone was the same. When there were foreigners around everyone stared, not because they weren’t welcome but simply because they were different. They were something new in the monotony of the day. School was just like school in Korea, except no one was wearing uniforms. You had your jocks and bullies. There were stuck up pretty girls, and the weird kids that seemed to creep most people out. The artsy students and then people like him, somewhere in between. Looking down at his schedule, he tried to remember what certain English letters sounded like when he bumped into someone. “You should watch where you’re…you’re new aren’t you?” He wasn’t paying attention to words, but the way her mouth said them. The way her painted pink lips pursed and rolled as she spoke. His eyes moved up to her mink colored skin. High cheekbones on a heart shaped face and angled jaw. Her dark curly hair hung around her face, some in her face. Big and bouncy. She placed a hand on her wide hip, slender waist accented by her crop top. “Yes. I’m from Korea.” Ok, why did he say that. Looking into her eyes, he started over. “My name is Sehun. I’m looking for this class?” He pointed to the paper. Holding out her hand she grinned. “I’m Noelle. Nice to meet you Sehun, and that’s AP Anatomy and Physiology. It’s my next class, so follow me.” She moved past him and although he didn’t mean to his eyes went directly to her ass. The way the jeans fit her so snug, had him taking a deep breath but he rushed to her side. “Noelle? What does that mean?” He took in her full body, the way she carried herself with her head held high. She was stunning. “Christmas. I was born on Christmas Eve. Real Creative right? Your name is Sehun what does that mean?” He mused for a second, distracted after he had been trying to smell her. “Oh..Se means like generation and Hun is like…good deeds.” “Nice. So Korea huh? You’re far from home.” She stopped in front of the classroom door. Sehun smiled, wanting to reach out and touch her hair. “You have no idea.” As she entered the classroom, the aging and continually grumpy Mr. Potter looked over his glasses at them. “Well since, you’re the last two, you can sit together back there.” He pointed at a desk in the corner one row up from the back. “Who you sit with is who your partner is for the year people.” He looked at Noelle and Sehun. “You snooze, you lose.” As they slid into the desk, Sehun looked at Noelle smiling. “It’s not a loss.”

Over the next fee months, Noelle and Sehun grew closer. Talking quietly in Anatomy class, smiling as they passed each other in the halls. She had her crew and he has his. The two never seemed to intermingle, but her friend Mari had eyes for his friend Kyungsoo. “He’s so cute with his grumpy ass.” The way Mari lit up when he called her a Puerto Rican princess had Jasmine laughing. Jasmine grinned. “Y’all just falling all over yourselves for them Korean boys.” “It’s not because he’s Korean, I don’t discriminate.” Noelle said one day before school. Mari was busy reading a letter from Kyungsoo, like a love drunk middle schooler when she replied. “Don’t let your brother hear that. Mr. I’m so woke and shit.” “Right?” Jasmine added in, mimicking his voice. “We need to be with our own.” “Shit, if white boys have good dick, and he’s good to me what does it matter? Indian boys…whoever is gonna treat me like the goddess I am.” She tossed her brand new brazilian over her shoulder. Mari chuckled. “Any excuse for you to show off your hair, you kill me.” “Bitch, I saved for this! Don’t act like I won’t rock it to the fullest.” The girls walked to class, and Noelle felt her heart skip a beat about seeing Sehun again. All that snapchatting they had done last night, he was showing off in his pictures of his body pretending to show her a few hats he had picked up. As she entered the class, the first thing she noticed was Kai in her seat. The sub at the front of the class, pointed to the board without looking at the girls. “Take a paper, do it, put it on the desk before you leave thank you.” He was currently reading Of Mice and Men. Finding an empty desk near where Sehun and Kai where she sat down with her friends, her back to him. Class went by easily enough, but she felt…lonely. She enjoyed their talks and listening to his accent as he spoke to her. He used his hands most times, his hands with those long fingers. His lithe frame, and the way he tossed his hair out of his eyes. He was so handsome, he knew it too, but he always tried to play shy when she asked him if he thought he was cute or something. Just then her phone chimed, looking down at it, she grinned. A text from Sehun. How about you sit so your back isn’t to me. I like looking at your face She side-eyed him but ignored it, continuing to listen to the conversation in front of her. Another chime came in. Do I need to come and turn you around? Picking up her phone she answered him. Yea, like you’ll come over here. Then she felt someone behind her, Sehun had a hand on the back of her seat, turning her slightly. Then he pulled up a chair next to her, sitting down so his legs were open and she was practically in between them. She gave him a you cute or whatever look, as her friends made faces and giggled. “Ladies.” Sehun said, his hand creeping up to pull at her curls gently. “Sehun.” They answered in unison, giving Noelle the eye as they grinned. A little farther away, someone Tyler knew saw them, texting his friend about his crush and her new Asian boy toy.

Noelle was bent over in front of her locker, trying to pull her math book from under the crap she had stockpiled. “Come on…” She grunted pulling the book hard, her ass bumped into Sehun who was standing a little too close behind her. “What the..” She turned around seeing him, as he winked at her. “Boy, stop playing.” Closing her locker, she turned around just as Sehun put his hands on either side of her head. “I think about you a lot.” His eternally pink lips hovering near her face. She swallowed hard, he smelled so good. His cologne smelling like cedar and vanilla and musk. He moved his hand, twirling her hair around his fingers, feeling the texture between his digits. “Do you now? Might wanna see someone about that.” She grinned trying to duck under his arm, but he cupped her between his arms again. “Come on now.” He dipped his face near her neck smelling her, and Noelle noticed how empty the halls were now. How quiet the school was. “It’s hard to be around you, and not tell you what’s really up.” Noelle reached out her hand, touching his face so he could look at her again. “Then tell me.” 

God, he was impossibly attractive, never did she think she would be with someone like him. Someone who understood her, and her quirks. Someone she could easily laugh with, and be herself. She didn’t have to hide who she was. He knew her family issues, and what she wanted to do with her life. These feelings though, how her heart skipped a beat when he was near. The way she scrambled for her phone, and prayed it was him texting her. She knew he felt it too, the way he licked his lips looking at her. His lingering touches. Then he looked at her. Really looked at her, she was the only one right now and she was the only one he cared about. “I was wondering…could I make you my baby?” She smiled at him. “Yes, took you long enough.” He moved his arms from around her, chuckling softly, running his hand through his now white hair. Shooting out a hand she grabbed his shirt, pulling him back in. Sehun leaned against the locker, his lips connecting with hers. The electricity racing up her spine, Noelle pulled away. “I have to go, text me.” She moved away from the locker, the cool metal against her back had cooled her down. “How about I facetime you?” Sehun replied. Rushing back over, Noelle hoisted her bag on her shoulder as she kissed his cheek once more. “Deal.” Walking out the doors of the school she didn’t see Sehun, trying to look suave as he went back to his locker to grab his bag. He was on cloud 9, and she certainly didn’t see Tyler glowering from the door frame having saw the whole thing.

“I’m telling you, that dude be all in her face. He follows her, trying to get his little fetish fix. She kissed him and I saw that shit with my own eyes. He ain’t a good dude, just got here, don’t hang out with nothing but Asians.” Tyler, being the good rat that he was, standing on Noelle’s porch as he talked to her older brother. “What else, man. Tell me what he look like?” Her brother Hakeem, leaned against the side of the house, listening to Tyler. Noelle came down the street after stopping at the store for dinner. She heard loud talking, hoping her mother wasn’t drunk this early again when she saw Tyler and Hakeem on the porch. The only reason she tolerated Tyler around was because his older brother knew Hakeem. When Tyler’s brother left, he latched on Hakeem, and she figured he needed someone. When he started following her around, and trying to be her best friend, she smiled but kept him at arms length. As she walked up to the house Tyler quieted down, looking at the ground instead of at her. Hakeem had his dark eyes on her, angry. “Why you so late?” Noelle rolled her eyes. “Don’t start with me. Who else is gonna cook?” Walking up the stairs, she said nothing to Tyler and moved to open the door. Hakeem placed a hand on it, holding it closed. “Tell me about this little asian boy at your school.” Her heart jumped. She quickly looked up at Tyler who pretended to study the boards on the porch. “There are a lot, you’d have to tell me what he looks like.” Hakeem sucked his teeth. “They all look the same, stop playing Noelle.” Closing her eyes, Noelle took a deep breath. “Move Hakeem, I’m not playing with you.” “Ain’t nobody playing with you!” He tried to move into her path. Just then their mother yelled from inside the house. “Stop yelling on my god damn porch! Is that Noelle?” “Yes.” She called, glaring at her brother. “Tell Hakeem to move and quit playing.” Her brother backed away the door, before their mother could say something. Yelling curses at Hakeem for interrupting Noelle cooking and her studying time. “I ain’t done.” He said as she walked inside. Noelle scoffed. “You are now.” At dinner he sat fuming as he picked at chicken, waiting for the opportunity to say something. “I heard Noelle has a boyfriend.” She felt her mothers eyes on her. “Noelle don’t need a boyfriend. She needs an education and to take care of her family.” Drinking heavily from her glass of wine. Sighing Noelle, fought the tears that threatened to fall. “It’s not responsibility to take care of everyone. Hakeem is 21 he can take care of himself.” Her mother grunted, scratching at her bonnet. “Cops out here mowing down black men like weeds. Hakeem needs help.” “And I don’t?” Noelle answered. Sighing her mother took another long drink. “Noelle, you are about to be 18. You are beautiful and you are smart. You are closer to the opportunities that Hakeem cannot reach.” Getting up Noelle wiped her face with the back of her hand. It wasn’t her responsibility to take care of her older brother. She shouldn’t have to look after her drunkard mother. She washed her plate while Hakeem continued. “Heard she been all snuggled up with some Asian boy at school. You know that’s that fetish shit right? He only want you cause you have assets, not for your mind. That’s what any non black man sees! You know this. Stay away from him.” “You don’t get to tell me what to do! You ain’t my damn daddy!” She slammed her plate in the dish drainer. “I’m the man of this house now!” Her brother stood up, grabbing her arm as she tried to walk past him. “You will not talk to that kid again! He’s not good for you. Only a black man can know our struggle!” Snatching her arm, Noelle yelled in his face. “That’s why you be chasing them white girls? Or is because you just think they are easy? What’s good for you, isn’t acceptable for me? Get out of here with that bullshit!” “Enough!” Their mother yelled, slamming her hands down on the table. “Hakeem put this food away.” Rubbing her hand on her face. “Noelle, all I have to say is this. No boy is interfering with your schooling, and the peace in this house. Hakeem is looking out for you. You don’t need to be pregnant.” “Almost 18 years and I haven’t gotten pregnant yet.” Her mother shot her a look, wobbling on her feet as she stood up staring her daughter down. “Go study girl…both of y’all out my face.” Running to her room Noelle locked the door behind her, fighting tears as she sat down on her bed and bit her lower lip. She was not going to cry, she was not going to sit here and let them tell her what she could and could not do. Grabbing her phone she looked down to a text from Tyler. I know, I told him but I’m sorry. That kid ain’t shit And you are? …Noelle don’t be like that. I’m looking out for you. I don’t need you or my brother to do “look” out for me. I make my own decisions. Don’t talk to me anymore Tyler, I’m serious. Stay away from me. I don’t need snitches around me. Noelle. I like you, I been liked you She sighed, shaking her head. In a way she knew, and that was probably the only reason he told her brother. Tyler. I’m gonna be real. I never saw you like that. I will never. You were a friend, nothing more. If you can’t keep a friend’s place and stay out my business, then stay away from me. She let that be that, waiting on the text back from him but it never came. Instead her phone pinged again and it was Sehun. He asked if she was ready to facetime. She replied for him to give her ten. Rushing into her shared bathroom with her brother a door connected to the bathroom from either side of their rooms. She locked his side and showered, pinning her hair up for the night in chunky twists. Unlocking her brothers side, she walked back into her room, and laid down on her bed, replying telling Sehun she was ready. “Hey Jagiya.” He was also on his bed, propped up on some pillows. “Jagiya? What does that mean?” Touching her hair as she spoke. Sehun smiled at her. “Honey, sweetie, darling. All that. So..what’s up?” “Nothing just finished dinner. You?” They talked long into the night, and Noelle forgot about how upset she was earlier. He washed away any anguish she had making her laugh. He told her about Korea and how he missed it. They both shared their father dying. While her mother drank her sorrow, his mother tried was desperate to be in another mans arms. She couldn’t be alone. “Tomorrow is Saturday. Wanna go to a movie with me?” How would she get away? “Just us?” She asked, nibbling on her lip. “I mean…I’m sure Kyungsoo wants to see Mari; and Kai won’t admit it but he’s feelin’ Jasmine. If not, me and you.” Nodding her head Noelle replied. “I’ll let them know what’s up. Let’s all go, we can sit alone. Tell Kai that Jasmine likes men that take charge, if he wants her, he has to act like it.” She laughed, trying to envision sweet Kai being tough. “I’ll pass the word on. Go to sleep Jagi.” He kissed the screen, giving her a wink. “I’ll try.” Laying down in her bed, all she had to do was reach over and turn the lamp off. Sehun chuckled. “I mean I could come over and hold you…maybe do something else..” Noelle cut him off. “Boy bye!”

The next day, Sehun had planned a night trip to the movies with his friends. His mother was glad to see him happier and enjoying his time in the US. “Are you going to be sad that we are leaving? You can go home for the summer, and come back to the US for college. I don’t really have to worry about you going to the military, now that you have US citizenship.” She was making Kimbap as she spoke. Grabbing a roll, Sehun stuffed it into his mouth. “I don’t know Eomma, we will see.” He had told her about Noelle. His mother was generally accepting, she was a hopeless romantic and an artist. She believed in finding love wherever it was and with whoever. For that Sehun was grateful. Noelle never told him if she told her family about him. He had often wondered, but he never pressed it. He had often thought about bringing Noelle to meet his mother. That night, Sehun walked with Kai and D.O. to the movie theater. He was happy, he was excited. About to go see a movie with his girl. He wore fitted jeans and sneakers with a leather bomber jacket over a gray T-shirt that read The Ramones on it. Near the movie theater, laughing and talking he texted Noelle. You there? Been here, Jasmine is way too excited. Where are you? Want me to wait inside? Coming, down the street, no just stand in front, I wanna see you. lol He smiled, grinning even harder when Kai told him he was sprung. Just then 3 guys stepped into their path, one of which he recognized. The tallest guy looked them all over, then stared specifically at Sehun. “You, Sehun?” He had pronounced his name wrong (Say-Hun and not Say-Hoon) but he let it slide. “Why?” “Man, that’s him.” Tyler, that was his name. “Stay away from my sister.” The tallest guy said, taking a step forward. Sehun knew Kyungsoo wasn’t the one to back down from anything and the shorter male stepped forward. “She is her own woman, she can do whatever she wants.” Hakeem pushed Kyungsoo. “Ain’t nobody talking to you Jackie Chan!” “He’s Chinese! I’m Korean moron!” Kyungsoo said, reaching out to push Hakeem back but Kai pulled the shorter back. Sehun took a deep breath. This is why she never invited him over. “I’m dating Noelle. So when she tells me she doesn’t want to be together, then I’ll back off.” He looked at Tyler. “I thought she was your friend?” Tyler said nothing, looking up at Hakeem, who began speaking again. “I don’t give a flying fuck what you think you’re doing.” Hakeem stood toe to toe with Sehun a good 2 inches taller than him. Sehun grinned at him. “I’m not going to get into this with you.” He tried to move past Hakeem who blocked his path again. “You getting into it now pretty boy.” Sehun raised an eyebrow, chuckling. “You said it not me.” Hakeem threw the first punch.

Standing in front of the entrance Noelle looked around, in her best t-shirt dress and sneakers, she had her makeup done and hair looking right. She knew she looked beautiful, but where was Sehun. A commotion up ahead was illuminated by a streetlight. Was that Sehun…oh lord. Her brother. “Hakeem!” She called out, gasping when she saw Hakeem punch Sehun. Jasmine and Mari were right behind her, as she ran  into the fray. Noelle grabbed Hakeem’s arm pulling him away from Sehun, just as Sehun’s fist connected with Hakeem’s jaw. “Stop it! Stop!” She screamed. “That’s my sister! Stay away!” Hakeem yelled, as he was pulled back by Noelle. “What am I not good enough!?” Sehun yelled, as Kai pushed Tyler away, and turned to see if Sehun was ok. “Hakeem stop!” Noelle screamed as she pushed him away from Sehun and stood in the middle of them. “Home now!” Hakeem screamed, practically in her face. “You do not tell me what to do!” Noelle turned from Hakeem and faced Sehun. “Are you alright? God, baby-I” “That nigga ain’t your baby! Get yo ass home before I tell mama you out here whorin!” Jasmine gasped, now at Kai’s side touching a small cut on the side of his head. Noelle closed her eyes tight. “Shut the fuck up Hakeem!” Her brother was yanking on her arm pulling her away. As she tried to snatch away, Sehun came to her defense. “Let her go! She just told you-” The men went at each other again and, Noelle began to cry. She knew what she had to do. Just to stop this. “Alright! I’ll go with you!” Holding her face in her hands as she wept. As Hakeem led her away, she cried as she heard Sehun call her name.

The next three days at school, she ignored Sehun. She didn’t answer facetime and she didn’t respond to texts. Noelle knew she should but damn Tyler, who knows who else her brother had watching her. Noelle closed her eyes and sighed thinking about Sehun’s swollen and bloody bottom lip. He could throw a punch she gave him that but his face. Why did Hakeem go and do that? Jasmine was the one who told Tyler were they were going that night. It wasn’t her fault, Noelle hadn’t told anyone about what he did. After a few days, she couldn’t take it. His sad stares down the hall, she even skipped Anatomy so she wouldn’t have to be near him. Then, she thought, no she wasn’t going to do this. Writing a note, she came to Anatomy and watched Sehun’s face light up as she took her seat next to him. He didn’t care if the teacher had just started talking, he wanted answers. Scooting closer to her, so that his lips barely touched her ear he spoke. “Tell me what’s up.” His hand under the desk he squeezed her thigh. “I miss you, Noelle.” She looked quickly around the class to see who was looking, before sliding him the note. “I miss you too.” Taking it, Sehun read what it said anxiously as to what would happen. “So we aren’t gonna talk right now? What does your brother look through your phone? You can’t text me?” She closed her eyes tight, hearing his voice low and annoyed. “Sehun, please.” “Please? I’m asking you please, jagi come on.” He let his fingers slide up her thigh. Looking at him, truly looking at him for the first time in days, she looked at him with a small smile. “Just do what it says ok?” That evening Noelle acted normal, she packed a bag and waited until her mother boozed herself out for the night. Hakeem seemingly satisfied she wasn’t talking to Sehun anymore was gone for the night. Quietly, Noelle locked the front door behind her, and walked to the location she was to meet Sehun. The older home had once belonged to her great-aunt and was in pretty good condition just bare. A dilapidated couch, threadbare rug, some bookshelves, and a few knick-knacks are all that hung around. Her mother never sold it or did anything with it. Opening the front door, Noelle was grateful for the thick curtains on the windows and began placing candles down strategically lighting them. Some soft music in the corner, she waited for him to arrive. Ten minutes later there was a soft knock on the door. She steeled herself, opening the door to Sehun’s face. He grabbed her, his left hand on the back of her neck, the right hand on her ass gripping it tightly. His mouth ravaged hers, taking the taste of her to memory. Noelle had never been kissed like this, her hands on his waist she pulled him closer. Their hearts beating rapidly, as his tongue entered her mouth moving around the space. Sehun broke the kiss, gasping. “Why have you been ignoring me?” Walking away from him, Noelle closed the door locking it. “Some people my brother knows have been watching me, I didn’t want him to try to come for you again.” Following her to the living room, Sehun took in the sights, she was trying to make this romantic. She had space just for them, and she was trying to amend things. “Noelle, I don’t care. All I care about is being with you.” “I care about us too, but I don’t want the drama associated with it.” She put her hands up then stood away from him. “It’s your brother’s drama. My lip is fine, I’m still cute right?” He grinned at her, putting a peace sign near his face. She laughed. “You’re more than cute.” Silence fell over the room. Sehun knew what he wanted to say, what he could say. “You give me a feeling that I never felt before. I deserve it, you deserve it Noelle.” He crossed the room taking her hands in his, the orange candlelight playing over his features. “This is growing into something I can’t ignore.” “Sehun..” He placed a finger on her lips, silencing her. Noelle stood there watching his dark eyes, as he stared into hers. “After we graduate, I’m going back to Korea. I want you to come with me.” Her head darted up. To Korea? She had never even been outside of the country. Outside of Washington State! “I don’t know.” “I don’t want to leave you behind. I can’t. Just think about it, for me?” He didn’t give her a chance to answer, pulling her down on the blanket she laid out, he kissed her hungrily. His mouth moved over her neck and jawline. Placing light kisses until he got to her mouth where he let his tongue flick over her lips and across her tongue. Noelle moaned, his hands gripping her body, pulling her closer in between his legs. He needed her, he wanted her more than anything. Noelle’s hands found his chest, as she rubbed her fingers along his light muscle and across his broad shoulders. Breaking the kiss, she turned her face away from him. “I’ve never done this before…so.” Sehun placed a hand on her shoulder pushing her down onto the blanket. “I’ll take care of you, I’ll always take care of you.” Finally, she thought someone took care of her, instead of the other way around.

Naked, they laid on the blanket, Sehun pulling her arms above her head so she would stop covering her body. “I want to see all of you.” He whispered, kissing down her body. His mouth found a nipple, and she held the mound in one hand, keeping her hands bound with the other. He closed his lips over her breast and sucked gently, letting his tongue smooth over a brown areola and around the coconut-shaped orb. She moaned, moving her body into his touch. Slowly, he let her go, hands trailing down her taut stomach he kissed to the temple of her body. Opening her legs, he positioned himself in between them kissing up and down her thighs. Noelle was embarrassed. Sure, she groomed down there but she never had a man about to use his tongue on her before. Hell, she never had sex before. Now here she was turning her face away into the blanket. Damn, she had worked herself up knowing what she was getting into but here was the moment of truth. “Stop Jagiya, you’re beautiful, let me taste you.” He murmured, his white hair dipping in between her thighs. His tongue made long, smooth and slow strokes up her slit causing Noelle to jump from the new contact. God, if it felt this good now, what would happen when he really got started. Slowly, as he kissed, nipped and sucked on her legs fell open and she gave her body over to the sensation. The December wind howled outside, and she closed her eyes thinking of how perfect this was. Sucking on her pearl, Sehun grunted when she let a moan escape. Wetting a finger he slipped it inside her tight channel and moved it. Hooking his finger up letting her get used to the feeling. She had confessed she masturbated before, but he knew it was clitoral stimulation only. His tongue laving attention on her clit, one finger rubbing against her spot, he placed his hand on her lower belly and pushed gently. One too many pornos taught him this. He watched as Noelle grabbed his hands, her head moving from left to right as she bucked on his face. “Oh god, Sehun.” She groaned. He smiled, adding another finger making her gasp as he, moved his finger enough to allow his tongue to pass when he licked her from root to tip. That was it, Noelle felt the low, lusty wave begin in her pelvis and move downward, the warmth spreading she cried out, stomping her foot when he orgasm hit her. Sitting up, Sehun stroked himself watching as she gasped and tried to catch her breath, he removed his fingers from her licking them clean. “Was I too loud?” Arm thrown over her face. Sehun chuckled. “I like you loud.” He placed his body over hers, letting his throbbing length hit her slit and Noelle sucked in a breath. Rubbing himself against her, Sehun bit back a groan wanting to be inside of her so bad. “Wait,” Noelle said, placing a hand on his chest. He couldn’t wait, he just wanted to be in. “I know this is gonna hurt so move slow, and-” She reached for her jeans and pulled out a condom. “Put this on.” Of course, how could he forget? Sehun quickly slipped the roll over his shaft. He always practiced safe sex, the handful of times he’d done it but he was so eager to inside Noelle. Usually, it was just wham, bam, thank you, mam. Hovering over her once more, Sehun held himself up on his elbows and stared at her. His fingers tangled in her hair as he rubbed his aching tip against her entrance. “I’ll go slow, just tell me what you want.” Letting his face nestle into her shoulder, he laid his weight on her just enough, pushing in. God, she was tight, he backed up and did it again getting in the first inch. Noelle lifted her legs, and hummed, her arms around his neck as she braced herself. “I’m just gonna push,” Sehun replied, he felt her shake her head and in he went. His length slamming home, their pelvis bones connected, he groaned and waited for her to adjust to him. He needed to move, he wanted to move. He held on though, feeling his shaft throb inside of her. Noelle laid there, the searing heat of the entrance was dissipating. She rubbed her thighs against his sides, voice hoarse. “Move, baby.” That’s what he wanted to hear, pulling all the way out he pushed home, her whine in his ear, Sehun turned his face and kissed along her jaw, speeding up giving her what he had. He didn’t want to come fast, he wanted her to savor this. He was her first, he was going to make sure she had a good time. Holding onto one of her thighs, Sehun moved fast within her. Feeling her lift her hips every time he connected. In and out. Her moans and groans timed well with the way he moved. She wanted more, nails going down his back, how hot was it in here? His mouth found hers again, and Noelle kissed him hungrily, whispering her devotion into his mouth, while Sehun pushed his promises into hers. I need you I love you Baby, you feel so good Just like that, please don’t stop She bit down on his shoulder, just as she closed her eyes and the light burst from behind them. Sehun felt her moisten, the way she held tight onto his body, he knew she was coming. Looking down at her face, he watched as she came undone and he came with her. Laying in the darkness, Sehun rubbed her shoulders. Her ass pressed firmly against him. “I can’t describe what I feel like right now. I feel like I could just fly or something.” Noelle said turning her face so he could see her. Sehun breathed deep. “This is how it feels when it’s meant to be.” 

Quietly, they lay together watching the first snowfall come down.

Months passed. She didn’t care and neither did he. They were together and everything was perfect. Before they knew it it was summer and graduation was here and then gone. Sehun was preparing to go home once more, back to Korea. Originally he though how he never wanted to be here, and now he wondered what his life would be like if he never left. He had Noelle and she had him. “Have you thought about it yet?” Sehun asked as they got shaved ice from a vendor. Noelle got a passport, she was 18 she could do what she wanted. She loved her mother but; this was her life. She loved her brother but no one was going to rule her. “Yes and no, this is a big thing. I’m 18 and you’re 19.” She bit into the blue raspberry flavor. “I want to be with you. You can do this, your Korean is…ok.” He laughed, remembering how awkwardly she said certain words. Pushing him with her elbow, Noelle rolled her eyes. “Yea, yea.” Sehun stopped her under the shade of a giant sycamore. “Is it your brother?” “It’s more than that. It’s leaving and I don’t know if we will come back.” She watched some dark clouds roll in and prayed it didn’t rain again. “We can come back. College in the US or Korea. We applied to both.” Sehun ate, watching her face. “I know…” She trailed off and he left it. She knew when he was leaving, and a week later, she sat in her room listening to music as she straightened up. Bright LED lights flashed in front of her window and she sighed. “Who the hell is tha?” She heard Hakeem downstairs, and walked down the stairs where her mother was half drunk in the kitchen eating. Hakeem gritted his teeth when he saw her. “Is that that dude? Where are you going?” Ignoring him Noelle took a deep breath, kissing her mother on the forehead. “I love you Ma.” “Mhm.” Her mother answered, taking another swig. Noelle walked past her brother and looked out the door. Sehun sat in the car, he saw her. Would she stay or would she go? She closed her eyes remembering their conversation. “I’m leaving a week from now, I’ll come by. If you want to go, just pack and I’ll come get you.” “If I don’t?” “I’ll give you the choice, either way I’m coming to see.” Swallowing hard, Noelle looked back at her brother and her mother who was now asleep. Picking up the duffel bag she left near the door, she opened it and walked out. She was ready.

[fiftylovedoggos]

My NYC Life

来来来，让我来发一波tumblr！自从离开上海就没有再写过日记了。之前觉得发生了什么重要的事情都需要写下来，因为人类的记忆实在是太不靠谱了。但是现在，有了bf之后，觉得都懒得“和自己说话”，每天都屁颠屁颠吧自己的story和thoughts都去和他说去了。这是一件好事还是坏事呢？BOTH。好事是因为：There is a real listener and there is feedback. 坏事呢是因为：I’m really going to forget the things if I don’t write it down, and I will not reflect things on my own deeply. 不过话说回来，就像旅游，如果你真的很享受这个process，你可能不会花很多时间拍照，也就是记录；然而，只有你不太care的时候，才会不停拍照啊，发snapchat啊，blahblah。真是conflicting。

我8.6到的NYC，现在已经8.26了，正好20天。回忆一下自己的NYC生活吧：

1. Chatting with bf. We literally spent so much time talking with each other. We exchange our stories and thoughts. Well, it’s very good to have an accompany, but a “digital” one really hurt our eyes. Because of the time lag, we have to stare at the screen in the dark before sleep and when our eyes are not fully open in the morning. I’m gonna be blind.

2. Social & Reconnecting with my friends. I meet Sloane and Joey from my Columbia summer program. I brought them to Chinatown to tryout Chines food. They love it! Sloane is my best friend. I slept over at her house for two times! Her family is so nice, and they said to me that “You are not a guest, you are a family.” Awww... When I told them that I will go to New York on my Thanks Giving holiday, they said: “Tell me when you’re here, we’ll prepare the whole turkey on the day you come.” Awww... At their house, it’s my first time to feel so respected that I can have my own choice of food, and I can do whatever I want to decide without being dragged to do something else. I also met Julia, my MYP bestie. I slept over at her hotel for one night. I also met Angel yesterday, she hasn't changed much. She’s still the sweet 学霸 girl. I also see Justin and his sister Grace. 

3. Traveling around NYC. My parents brought me to a lot of malls and random places. Mostly in Flushing and Chinatown, where everything is in Chinese and Asians are taking over all the places. It makes me wonder whether I’m in the US or still in China. Well, Sloane brought me to a lot of fun places! We went to the top of the Empire State Building, Coney Island Amusement Park, beach, NYC Highline, Riverside Park, Columbia University, Times Square and etc. We tried out different food, went scootering and had a lot of fun! We even bumped into our professor at Columbia University! Professor Hazen still remembers us, and she is so happy to listen to our stories! She is sooooo nice.

4. Traveling with my parents with “大妈团” （大巴团）。We went on a four-day trip to Tennesee and a two-day trip to Washington DC. The tourist attractions are pretty fascinating: the Great Smoky Mountains, the caverns, the horse show, the White House, the US Capitol, etc. Well, you know Nashville? The city in Tennesee where Taylor Swift got famous. It’s the center of country music. When I told Sloane and Joey that my parents are bringing me to Tennesee, they’re like “They are bringing to Nashville, right? The center of music! It’s not a coincidence!” And I’m like “Nah, they just want me to see the stones and caves. They didn’t believe it. Well, it turns out that I’m right. We went to Tennesee but NOT NASHVILLE! 呵呵 I HATE the traveling on the bus. I literally spend an average of six hours per day on the bus. My ass hurt so much. I can feel my tailbone is getting cracked again. And I literally have nothing to do on the bus. If I listen to the music, since the bus is too loud, my ears hurt. If I watch videos or chat with my bf, my eyes hurt, since the bus is always “vibrating”. So, fuck it. 

5. 学习。I’m doing online courses. Usually, I voice call with my bf while studying, so both of us can make sure the other one is studying. I finished the Berklee Mandatory course about sexual assault, drugs, and alcohol; and I’m now taking the Berklee Musicianship course, since I don’t want to get a zero on my music theory placement test in the orientation week; and I’m also learning music business第二阶级，which is a 水课。和我之前上的第一阶级都是干货的课完全不是一个等级。

6. Budget and Documents thing. 我搞了两个银行卡，一个credit card，一个debit card。学习怎么转账花钱blahblahblah。一大堆资料，看得我头晕。我tm又没有学过buisness！这些专业术语，像什么APR啊，xxx balance啊，根本看不懂！我宁愿看一本DNA报告好吗！不过话说回来，有个属于自己的、上面写着 “Ms. Man Yi Lok”的卡还是很酷啊，感觉哈哈老子是有身份的人啦。

好啦！还有两天就要搬到Boston啦！I’m so excited about my new college life! Let’s have fun and learn!

希望到了Boston之后我们还能保持联系啊！Even if we can’t talk a lot due to time lag or schedule problem or roommate problem or bf/gf problem (shit why are there so many problems), we are still besties! We really need to ensure that at least there will be a weekly life update!

---- Joanna Lok

[krs724490]

I have to come on here and say something because this is really quite profound. I’ve wrote on this tumblr about every man. Literally since the OG Evan Flashner. And here I am. Back. This time it’s about Tyler Joseph Horner.

I have to say. I had hoped for myself that I wouldn’t be back so soon. That I would take time to build myself up without anyone in the picture. As you’ll learn, Tyler has taught me that building yourself and building a relationship are not mutually exclusive events. They can, in fact, occur simultaneously. And, actually, work together quite beautifully. Tyler has taught me so many things. So much so, that I know whatever happens, he’s given me more than I could ever ask from him and for that I am grateful. That is how I want to set the tone for this. So, let’s start at the beginning, shall we?

I met Tyler late February 2021 in Vail, Colorado. He was there on a ski trip with friends whom I am also friends with. I drove in from Denver to stay with them for a few days. I remember walking into the airbnb and taking mental note that he was the most attractive male there. No shame. It’s what I thought! Later that night we went to the grocery store. This is when being vegetarian came in handy! You see, Tyler is also vegetarian. So naturally, our friend Marcela thought there could be a potential match between us **eye roll at how she was right. Anywho! We discussed lentil pasta while the crew ran around filling 2 carts to the brim (literally) with all the food we would need for the week. They then proceeded to leave us in the car alone together while they took forever in the liquor store (not not on purpose). We made light get to know you conversation. Nothing crazy. Just what you would expect. & that’s the night we met. Funny how you look back at days like this & realize you had no idea you were meeting someone special.

Fast forward to the night. Ya know.. the night ;) I’m going to be honest here. And I don’t think Tyler knows this. But, I went on a date in Breckenridge that night (Danny was vanilla)….. then came back to our Airbnb in Vail to find the whole squad turnt up. By turnt up, I mean, quite hammered. Ya know, sloshed. I joined in the festivities and then, slowly, people started retreating to their rooms for bed. Eventually, Tyler and I were left in the living room. I’m not going to go into detail here, but you can imagine what happened. We slept uncomfortably on the couch. I’m still not sure how Tyler’s arm is attached to his body after that. The next morning I really just did not know what to do with myself. I still laugh at how awkward I felt. I didn’t know what to do with my hands!!! (Anchorman reference) I don’t do one night stands. In fact, I have never had a one night stand. This had that sort of vibe to it as Tyler is from New York & I was leaving that day to go home. So, I woke up and could not look him in the eye. I said my goodbyes to everyone (awkwardly side hugged Tyler saying nice to meet you, absolutely no eye contact was made) and drove back to Denver. On the drive home I imagine I was probably hitting myself over the head saying, “stupid stupid stupid.” Not over the awkwardness of the goodbye, but over my love life as a whole.

A few days later, he texted me. I knew I had no room for boys in my life, so when he texted me at first I was thinking “goddammit ain’t nobody got time for this….” but then we texted, and texted, and texted, and TEXTED. When I say we texted, I mean, it eventually got to the point where I was sending 80 messages at a time that took me an hour to write. Different conversation threads. Incredible emoji usage. I had to set aside time to message him back - I made myself a cup of tea and every night I would sit and write Tyler, sipping on it. There were times I would look forward to it. Other times I was exhausted typing things out haphazardly. I was trying to be funny and entertaining, witty, with those messages. Phone calls were sprinkled in here and there - when we could find time in our schedules that didn’t seem to too align well. My raspy voice could barely hold up my end of the conversation. Next thing I knew he was back in Colorado to “visit his Aunt & see Ki and Bobby” hehe. I’d like to think he was coming for me.

His first visit back, I met him at a coffee shop in Cherry Creek. I remember being so nervous! He pulled up in his uber, jumped out, scooped me!!! Kissed me!! And then put me down??!! Amazing. Incredible. Wonderful. Outstanding. I went to Ki and Bobby’s (by the way the sweetest couple ever) to see him the next night. The next day, we practically walked a half marathon…. we went down the Cherry Creek Trail to get matcha at the same shop as the day before (we were regulars now)(this was before Tyler drank matcha - also he knows about cherry park! Ask him about it!) Then, we went to tattered cover book store (of course), ate at True Food kitchen (vegetarians ugh!), got ice cream (DUH), stopped for some kombucha (which flavor to choose ?!), and circled back home. We got our steps in. Which is a thing that Tyler does on the regular. Now that I think about it, it’s an underrated thing that he has brought to my life. I love walking everywhere in order to eat, see, and do all the things. You come home tired, feeling accomplished. What a good practice to have. On the last day, he came to my yoga class at ONE. Which means a lot to me as a lot of my friends and family don’t participate in or see what I do. And I love what I do. So for him to be there and see the things and try the things ?! Thank you.

**one month later** Tyler is back in CO! This time to “see Anthony” his old roommate who was there working remotely. This is the trip I got called a fungible asset! We went to Boulder to hike the flat irons. My tummy hurt on that hike, but I didn’t bring it up. We had tacos for dinner with Anthony and Jen and Alanoud and her bf. Tyler cooked dinner for his Aunt Vicki and I the next night. Impossible burgers and veggies in her backyard! I like her yard. Something so homey about it. Juju and Syrus were great company. Remember how earlier I said it’s funny how you don’t realize you’re meeting someone important when you’re meeting them? That’s also true for Syrus. My future hiking partner. More on Vicki to come. She’s amazing.

Now we reach the point where it’s my turn to go see Tyler. So I book a flight to New York in July. 2 months away. These 2 months flew by. We texted and called. I do have to mention that this was when I was running on a treadmill at VASA & suddenly decided I did not want to be with Tyler. I was unhappy with my body and fitness goals. I had convinced myself over the course of that 30 minute run that Tyler was the reason I didn’t have my shit together. I simply didn’t have excess energy to give to a relationship - I needed to use that energy on myself. I had made up my mind to call him right after I got off the treadmill to tell him I was done. That way I could focus on myself and lift weights lol. So I got off the treadmill and told my front desk friends what I was going to do. They said ok! but what did he do wrong? I said... well nothing, I just decided I’m done. and they were like... ok? So then I took a step back and thought - it’s not like he compromises my workout schedule or changes my eating habits because he eats unhealthy.. he doesn’t even live here. He doesn’t interfere with my day to day life. I also really enjoy talking to him. He doesn’t stress me out at all. He’s actually... never done anything wrong really... in fact, I think my life might be worse off if I wasn’t talking to him. Now this, was a concept. One I had never encountered before.

Also over the course of this time, I took Syrus for 2 hikes and got to know his aunt. Which, in its own way, was connecting to Tyler. We chatted in her backyard about Tyler and his family. She told me about herself. About how she loved being independent. We bonded over this as I’m the same way. I don’t need anyone. I like to do things alone to better soak them in. She reminisced about Chad and Tyler when they were kids. We talked about dating… all of the things! I really admire what she’s done with her life. She’s so content in her cute home. She’s very connected to her inner circle - she knows everyone in the neighborhood! She treats them like family. She made me feel like family! Inviting me back. Wanting to hang out. Telling me straight up that she liked me. This made me really happy. Not because she’s Tyler’s aunt and I want to feel close to him, but because it felt nice, warm, wholesome, genuine.

Then it came time to go to New York. For some reason I was really quite nervous. The day before I was on edge. I had butterflies the whole Uber ride to his apartment. But as soon as I was with him that all subsided. 

[psxopialou]

There are many reasons in life I am blessed but I am so honored to have these two in my life 💕

Let me keep it 💯, since I was younger I’ve always dreamed of having MY own family. I always prayed for a loving partner, someone who was willing and ready to stick by my side throughout life’s ups and downs and I must admit, I found this person.

I knew I was more attracted to girls. I knew that I was different and that love knows no limits, bounds and I strongly believed I shouldn’t be subjected to what society thinks. Regardless if the rest of the world felt a certain way about being GAY. I knew I was going to do whatever I felt in my heart was right.

Here’s some back story....before anything with Hannah happened, I was in a relationship with a guy. Someone who came into my life and made me believe that better days are ahead and I thought he would be the person I ended up marrying and starting my own family with. Settled, a house of our own and a life we’d embark on together. God had another plan in mind.

It all started when I was renewing the registration for my car. Suddenly as I had finished everything, I started heading back to work to start another work day. On my drive, no song or reasoning honestly provoked me. I just opened my WhatsApp and searched for my friend’s number. At the time her profile picture was of her and her two daughters. And I kept staring at one daughter in particular. Only knowing of her through stories and conversation, I just couldn’t get over how attracted I was to her daughter.

At work, I couldn’t wait to tell my best friend my insane story 😂 but her being my right hand, she smiled and of course was as supportive as ever. I am the worst at keeping secrets so I kept asking my BF if I should tell...and it ended up coming out.

It all started as jokes, I knew that we were both in relationships and I knew that she had a family of her own. So I knew there was a fine line that I needed to respect.

Days went on, of course we’d joke amongst ourselves about the attraction I had. Remember I’ve never met or spoken to this girl.

My relationship hit a brick wall. It was as if things just started getting worse than better. So even that it was all a fantasy, the jokes and “could have, would have” made me smile.

Then one day I receive and instagram request. I was so giddy and smirking, smiling basically jumping at the edge of my seat. And I told my best friend. I probably acted as if my crush just noticed me or something 😂🤦🏻‍♀️. Fucken Sophia Ann!

We started talking and little did I know a friendship would come of all of this.

I appreciated her friendship and respected that we were both in relationships. I respected her situation because I have always wished my family stayed whole and at the time I prayed for it.

She started confiding in me as I did. Again, our friendship meant the most to me because this was someone I knew nothing about and she still managed to be there without wanting anything.

That’s the thing about it all, regardless what could become of a story like ours, we remained friends through everything.

Hannah came into my life and taught me one thing that stuck. She taught me how to put myself before anyone else. She constantly reminds me that I can’t take care of anyone else, unless I’m at 💯% and that stayed with me.

So my relationship began to consume me. I went from being sad, crying about it, yet still hoping it gets better and then one day just not wanting to deal with it anymore.

Finally after such time, Han and I decided to be together.

We’ve been talking longer than actually being in a relationship. We had our fair share of sneaking around and hardship but here we are.

The biggest importance that remains the same today, is that she has a son. Who is priority #1 on our list.

I am a child who had to deal with DNA testing, court ordered visitation, accompanying my parents to counseling and regularly scheduled court appointments. So between court rooms, judge’s chambers and nearly having to meet at Erica’s house because my parents couldn’t work it out at times, I know.

I’m writing this not for everyone to see but more so for Hannah....

Honey,

I can’t promise you that it’s always going to be rainbows and butterflies but I promise you that I am committed. I am a step parent. Please know that I am trying to do the best that I can for you and your son and I just want to be sure I’m giving you the 50% to your 50% where your son receives 💯% or on the harder days I hope you know I got the 80% when you’re feeling 20% and vice verse. I will never promise you less than I know I’m capable of achieving, however I hope one day you realize, I love you so much and right now, my heart is all I have to give.

[flooparoo]

Internal dialogue

I’m probably the problem

Everything seems so good on the surface but I just have this strong feeling deep down that it’s not

Maybe I’ve being over dramatic and that I am reading too much in between the lines

But what do you do when you know something’s seriously wrong deep down yet if you voice it, you start to sound crazy?

Like, how dare you think/feel something is wrong?

But everything that is presented to you just screams WRONG yet it doesn’t look like that to others?

WAIT

Am I gaslighting myself?

I know that’s a thing that happens to people who are been traumatized but am I doing this to myself?

I can’t be gaslighting myself right?

But I think I am

Cuz I think I am seeing everything at face value and evaluating my feelings about it and then choosing to ignore it and saying that I am overreacting and it’s nothing to worry about

That he still loves you

Look, he just took you on an amazing date and you both had fun

Well yeah, up until you had part ways and he goes back to the house where he lives with another woman and her family while you’re left wondering if you’re truly the one he loves and not a side piece

He has nowhere else to go and you couldn’t just ask your family to take him in

Well yeah, but then wasn’t he given the task of finding a place for the both of you to live together after you were tired of dealing with flaking potential roommates?

Yes

Has he made any progress on that aspect?

No but he’s probably busy with work and such

Yeah but he also has time to have weekly DND sessions with his friends and do things with them that you wanted to experience with him for the first time together

He has a right to do things with his friends without me and live his own life without me always being there. We are both super busy

You are super busy. He has days where he has felt like he’s wasted the day away doing nothing while you’re over on your side trying to push yourself to do well in everything you do.

But-

And when was the last time he has spent actual time with you or made an effort to work with your schedule to go see you? Your birthday doesn’t count. In fact, when was the last time he actually surprised you at your work or school place?

There was that one time with our best friend?

The best friend thing doesn’t count. The best friend wanted to go bother you at work while he was still home. I am talking about him going out of his way to go surprise you

He doesn’t have to go surprise me. He knows that I don’t like surprises

You’re such a liar. You like the kind of surprises with the flowers and love notes and such. You don’t like having to deal with a surprise that goes sour or it’s too big and you have to fake enjoying it. Granted that rarely happens but you say you hate it to minimize the chance of disappointment or attention drawn to you

...that’s not true...

It is but anyways, back to my quality time point. When was the last time he made plans to go see you cuz he wanted to?

.....

My point, exactly. And you even made a goddamn shared email account and put your school and work on the calendar so that he can put his schedule in so you can actually plan to spend time together.

That is correct. It’s even color coded

You’re such an organizer freak. And what did he do with that email?

I don’t know if he did anything with it. I gave him all the screenshots with my info on it, even the password to my personal email so he can get into it cuz I made the birthday of the account the day we got together and the system thinks the account is for a 4 year old.

Did he put his info in?

No, he said that he didn’t know cuz he was literally waiting for the boss to call him up for his shift

Uh huh but I seem to recall that he has regular work gigs on certain days. Why can’t he put his KNOWN work schedule in? You put yours in, why can’t he do it?

I mean that is a fair point

So he lives with another woman and her family for an extended period of time, makes no effort to go spend time with you and hang out with his buddies more often than he sees you while you start to isolate yourself in the library cuz you have to study and you barely have time to hang out with your friends so you’re essentially starving for some affection and love and lets not forget that he VOLUNTEERED months ago that he was going to spearhead finding a home together and has honestly came up with nothing so far

......

Let’s not forget that the other woman has out of nowhere in the past dropped you as a friend for no reason while you thought that you guys were good

Hey now, she doesn’t have to disclose to me as to why she unfriended me on social media. It’s her right to do whatever she wants

Yeah but it’s slowly killing you on the inside cuz you don’t know why or what you did for it to go that way. Especially since she’s close to the one you love and you know they have way more in common than you and him and discuss more things together. And let’s not forget she see him WAY more often than you ever see him

But he said he only loves me and doesn’t see her in that kind of manner and never will be. It has been me in the past and always will be me!

Is that what he said to you? You know how they lie. That’s how the one before got you the last time. I think you’ve forgotten how untrusting you are towards people. He’s also said that he was going to be the mediator between the two of you prior to all of you moving in and has he made any progress? I think not in my eyes.

He couldn’t betray me right? He said he’s loved me forever

Lord! Do you hear yourself? You sound like a battered lovesick puppy who has been abandoned by their owner

You’re wrong about him!

I’m wrong? Well you’re a woman of science. Look at this from the eyes of a scientist and take you and your feelings out of the equation and pretend this is about someone else. Based on the evidence presented, do you think that this one wants to be with you?

......no

Explain to me why in detail. I want to hear it out loud so you can understand

Cuz I always go to him but he rarely goes to me. The few times that he does, it seems like it’s out of obligation like my birthday or something. That shows that it’s one sided to his favor.

Keep going

I’ve set up a calendar that we can both put in our schedules after seeing it work for friends of mine and I remembered that I had promised to do that in the past. I gave him all my info and he never put his in even though he said that he will on his own time.

And what does that show you?

Since I’ve made that over a month ago and there weren’t any changes made to it that wasn’t mine and he had to ask what was my schedule in planning for my bday, it shows that he doesn’t want to bother making plans to spend time with me unless it was an obligation he had to do as a boyfriend. The claim is reinforced by me knowing that he holds regular DND sessions with friends on a weekly basis whereas I barely see him

Keep going

But I cannot deny him spending time with his friends in favor of me and the few times I’ve confronted him about the lack of time spent together he said that he didn’t want to bother me with my studies

He has the right to hangout with his friends, yes but he shouldn’t neglect you. You know that is such a bullshit excuse when you went out of your way to make it easier for him to know what you’re up to. And he has a goddamn way to talk to you cuz God Bless Technology.

But-

No fuck that! If he really loved you, he would have found ways to make it work for the both of you and make you feel important in his life and see you more often.

I’ve brought it up to him before

And what did he do?

He apologized

But you don’t believe in apologies cuz your father taught you that words of apology mean nothing. It’s the actions that matter to you. The proof that one is sorry is in the actions

He explained that he was in bad mental low and funk in that time period. He was attentive the past couple of days afterwards

Look, I’m not gonna knock him on the mental illness part cuz that’s a whole different demon. But if you’re the person that he wants to be with forever, then he has got to fight to keep you. You can’t keep giving cuz eventually you’ll be empty. You can’t keep finding reasons to stay if you feel like you’re not wanted or needed

You’re right but maybe I am just a bad gf for asking too much from him

WHAT THE-?! NO! You are not a bad GF. You have every right to feel fucking uncomfortable knowing that he is living with another woman and her family and what it seems that he is making no moves to leave and rent a place with you. You have every right to feel fucking pissed as hell that you’ve done all that you can for this man and he meets the bare minimum. How could you try to make yourself feel bad and make yourself feel like you’re a bad gf cuz you want your bf to spend a bit more time with you on a regular basis?!

I don’t know cuz I’ve tried everything that I could think of and nothing seems to work and I feel like it’s my fault that it’s not working

No it’s not your fault. Have you told him that it bothers you that he’s living with another woman?

Yes and that’s where he said that there is nothing there between the two of them.

And do you believe him?

....yes

You hesitated. That means you don’t trust that on some level and we know why. There has to be something going on cuz there is no way that someone could let another person stay at their place essentially rent free without imposing a time limit or condition met.

It’s not like I can just ask him to up and leave

But isn’t that why he was supposed to find a place for all of you?

Yeah but-

I rest my case. Does he value your opinion?

I should hope so

If he does and knew that this arrangement makes you uncomfortable, then he should have GTFO of the situation ASAP out of respect for you and because he loves you and wants to keep you around, especially if he says that his intention is to marry you and have children with you

I know you don’t bring these things up to him cuz you reason yourself out it by attacking yourself and saying that you’re crazy and that you’re being unreasonable and that you’re not understanding him well enough. But you do understand him well enough. He doesn’t understand you and it doesn’t seem that he is currently making an effort to. It was evident in the convo at the end of the date where you mention that you may not want to have kids cuz you’re worried that you’ll be like your parents and he said that he will be enough to stop that influence. But how’s that working out for him? The reason why you wanted to move out in the first place was to prevent another incident where your father hits you and what did your bf do? Wants to beat the shit out of him but doesn’t cuz you said no. Any reasonable, loving bf would have hustled to get you out of that place and into his wing ASAP. But he didn’t do that and you went through another incident where you got hit and you’re still stuck at home, feeling hopeless that you’ll never get out and forever feel like a caged bird

I think the one you love loves the idea of you or the you that you were a few years back. But you’re not her anymore

The truth hurts and that’s why you’re crying as you’re typing this out because you know this is true no matter how much you try to look at the situation from a different angle. Insanity is when you do the same experiment over and hoping for different results but the outcome is the same everytime

You’re driving yourself insane over the one you love and it needs to stop

And if he sees this, then well that’s gonna be a fun convo heading your way

And if he doesn’t, then you have bought time to muster up the courage to talk to him about everything discussed and MAKE HIM UNDERSTAND

[checheisacat-blog]

Japan Trip June 2016 Day 1: Flight from LAS to NRT, exploring Ikebukuro, Nomihodai at Kin no Kura

Hi everyone!  This is the first in the series of posts about my trip to Japan from 06/07/16-06/23/16.  I'll be blogging about one day of the trip per post (or whatever fits within tumblr's limits lol) and probably go into a lot of meaningless details since I'm writing whatever I can remember lol.

ANYWAY.

I traveled last year in mid-June with my boyfriend Earl, my friend Mika, and her boyfriend Ralph.  I'll probably refer to them from here on as "bf" and "my friend and her bf" since idk I don't like using people's names when I'm not talking directly to them LOL.  It was me and my bf's first time to Japan, but my friend had been there multiple times in the past so we let her have the reigns when it came to booking flights, hotels, shuttles, etc. and planning what we were going to do each day.  I was really glad to have her help since I was pretty clueless lol.  The only time I'd been out of the country before this was to stop in Mexico during a cruise for a few hours, and I'd never traveled longer than 5 days before (which was with family) so I was pretty nervous about the whole thing.  I didn't do /as much/ research beforehand as I probably should've so I relied on my friend's expertise a lot lol.  My bf is pretty laid-back when it comes to traveling and usually lets me make all the plans/decide what to do so he was fine with whatever lol.

So our departing flight was scheduled to leave 7:35 AM from Mccarran airport in Las Vegas.  We were scheduled for a 3 hour layover in Vancouver, from which we would leave at 1:40 PM and land in Tokyo at 3:45 PM there.  I woke up around 3 AM on the day we were supposed to leave lol although my bf didn't sleep at all, he opted to stay up playing video games instead of only sleeping a few hours, and also so that we wouldn't accidentally oversleep and miss our flight lol.  We took a cab from my house to the airport at about 4 AM and arrived there about 3 hours ahead of when our flight was supposed to leave.

But of course we were delayed at baggage check-in since apparently Air Canada's system was down or something?  Sooo the trip was already off to a good start LOL.  We ended up sitting at baggage for close to 2 hours until they got their system back up.  The whole time I was really worried we would miss our flight and we were all pretty irritable and tired and just wanted to get on the flight already.  Thankfully they delayed the flight so everyone could check-in their baggage, get through security, and get to their gate.  After some trouble we finally got on our flight!

The flight from Vegas to Vancouver was pretty uncomfortable lol.  It was a 3 hour flight but the seats were small and you couldn't really sleep on them comfortably.  Also the water tasted super disgusting.  They didn't provide anything in the way of entertainment.  So basically a standard short flight lol

When we landed in Vancouver, we got some food that tasted pretty mediocre and looked around a bit.  The Vancouver airport has an aquarium, but I didn't get to see it or take a picture lol.  I thought about getting some souvenirs like idk maple syrup, but decided against it since I thought I could buy whatever I wanted on the layover on the flight back (which turned out to be a mistake but whatever lol).  The flight leaving out of Vancouver was delayed a bit too, but we eventually got on our plane to Tokyo!

This flight was a lot more comfortable.  I'd never been on an overnight flight before but they provided (small) pillows, blankets, and screens with entertainment and also served two in-flight meals.  I napped a bit but mostly entertained myself with the games and talking to my friend since both of our bfs were sleeping lol.  

The meal was surprisingly edible.  They give you a choice of meat or a vegetarian option.  It comes with a "main course", a salad, dessert, piece of bread, water bottle, and optional beverage.  I asked for both apple and orange juice since that's the kind of person I am lol.  The beef option I got was basically gyudon, and it was actually decent!  Really small portions though lolol.

A few hours before we were supposed to land, they served "breakfast".  I chose the chicken option this time which was basically bland chicken over rice with some seaweed over it.  The vegetables and onions on the side were okay though.

After what seemed like an excruciatingly long flight we finally landed in Tokyo!  I was surprisingly not feeling as dead as I expected lol.  We saw some cool things at the airport but I didn't wanna stop to taking very many pictures since we still had to get through immigration/customs which I was nervous about lol it went off without a hitch though!

I also saw my first Japanese vending machine!  I was super excited over these like a stupid tourist LOL I basically ended up taking a pic of every vending machine I saw.  At the end of this series of posts I might just make a post dedicated to all these vending machines.

My friend booked us our shuttle from the airport to our hotel with Airport Limousine.  Well, not actually to our hotel lol.  We were staying at a hotel called Hotel MyStays but they didn't have a shuttle there so we took the shuttle to the Sunshine City Prince Hotel a few blocks down from where our hotel was.

I got my first vending machine drink while we were waiting for the shuttle at the airport!  It was a magical experience.

We saw lots of cool things on the ride over!  Most of my pics are blurry though lol since the shuttle was traveling pretty fast and I was using my phone camera.  It took about 2 hours I believe?  We left a little after 5 so by the time we arrived the sun was already going down.

Caught a glimpse of Tokyo Disney!

Dragging our luggage through the street was an... interesting experience.  It totally sucked lol especially since we had no idea where our hotel was from where we were dropped off.  My friend ended up going off to find it while we waited with our luggage in the middle of the street lol.  It ended up being not far at all but it felt really far due to having to drag all our luggage.

We eventually got to the hotel though!  You have to go up through an elevator to even get to the lobby lol I wish I took a pic of this part but I was too busy handling my luggage.  My friend checked us all in!  Since the rooms are small it's two people to a room, so we got two separate rooms.  

Here's the room my bf and I stayed in!  We were prepared for it to be small but it still kinda took us by surprise since we were trying to figure out where to put our luggage and the eventual mountain of souvenirs we would accumulate LOL.  It was actually a really nice room though!  They had a lot of amenities like a stovetop, microwave, coffee maker, iron, and TV.  It took us a while to figure out the Japanese air conditioning lol which was desperately needed since it was summer and really humid, especially compared to where we live... in the desert.

The bathroom was really tiny lol.  I think I hit my knee in the shower literally every day for the first week we were there LOL and I'm not even bigger than the average Japanese person, I'm just not used to tiny showers.  It must've been a lot worse for my bf since he's a lot bigger lol.  The toilet was nice though and came with all the amenities that Japanese toilets usually do, like buttons to control the heat, flushing, etc.

After we all settled in and showered (I felt really gross lol) we headed out of our hotel to explore Ikebukuro a bit before calling it a night!  It was nighttime by this point but we were meeting Mika's friend Mary who was living in China at the time but came over to Tokyo for a few days to hang out.  It took her a while to meet us though so we wandered around Ikebukuro to gawk at stuff like tourists lol.  

There was actually a King of Prism Cafe and I took of picture of it even though I didn’t watch KoP until like 9 months later LOL it’s seriously awful

We saw some arcade machines which quickly became my bf's favorite thing!

We ended up walking all the way to Ikebukuro Station lol which is pretty far from our hotel actually.  

After we met up with Mary we all went to eat at a restaurant called Kin no Kura, which is an Izakaya!  We did Nomihodai/all you can drink although I don't really drink lol although it included non-alcoholic beverages as well.  My bf and I weren't really hungry lol we were more tired.  I was feeling pretty cranky from being awake for so long and my bf was practically falling asleep at the table.  We powered through it though and ate a bit just to have something in our stomachs.

I look so awful and angry LOL.  Too bad this is the only pic of us there, I didn't really feel like taking pictures haha can you tell I don't deal with tiredness very well?  I want to go back to this place to experience Nomihodai without being super cranky and tired LOL the drinks were actually pretty good.

Anyway after a long ass day we finally went back to sleep.  I was afraid I wouldn't be able to sleep but I ended up falling asleep pretty quick.  I woke up in the middle of the night a few times and ended up waking up early, which I expected due to jet lag.

So that's the end of Day 1!  Sorry this post isn't very interesting lol the day wasn't that eventful since it was mostly consumed by traveling.  I'm glad we got to our hotel mostly without a hitch though and I was super ready to conquer Tokyo the next day!

btw I took LOTS of pictures during this trip (over 3000 lol) but I'm gonna try to narrow down the pics I put in these post, mostly because it's tedious as hell to add pictures into tumblr posts LOL.  I'll do my best to show pictures of all the important stuff though!

Here's a general rundown/outline of my trip and how the posts will go!

Japan Trip June 2016

[theblushingbegonia-blog]

We can never go back to Manderley. That much is certain.

Ughhhhhh...(long sigh). I've delayed writing about our Manderley party for awhile, but I need to get my feelings out. To begin, this party has been four years in the making. We had the first Manderley back in '13, and it was great. Everyone had fun, it loooked awesome, enjoyed all the people who were there. It is still talked about with a smile. We have had other parties since then, but with other themes. Everyone, especially a friend who is moving soon requested we do another. Since we've been to Sleep No More twice since that first party, now was a good time. We were trying for a date last August when we had a death in the family, so it was rescheduled to this past February 11th. So, Manderley 2 had a lot to live up to. Let me tell you, I have never been more mad, upset and disappointed in my guests at a party before. 30 minutes in and seriously, I was over it. Really, I just wanted to quit, throw my hands up and walk out of my own party. I didnt, but I wanted to. I probably put SleepNoMore on a pedastal. I know i do. I want everyone to go. Experiencing it has totally changed my perspective on so many things..... Even though what I can plan and throw doesn't come anywhere near their production, I wanted to give my friends a little of that feeling with our party. Meaning, its not just a come over and chill, get wasted kind of party. My sister and I put soooo much thought and effort into our parties. I can't even begin to tell you how many nights I went to bed thinking over the details, making lists, pinterest boards, scouring stores looking for props, etc... Hours upon hours....days and days. Not to mention the money that is also spent on props, party stuff, food, etc... I'm mad at myself for allowing people to push my boundaries and mad at my friends for being the ones who run right over me. It started the day we went up. Friday, my sister and I go up to decorate the mtn house. Our guests are supposed to come to the house, Saturday at 7pm. We find out about 4 o'clock Friday that we have 3 guests coming up to stay Friday night, unbeknownst to us (they had planned this without letting us know). We really wanted the whole house, decor, entrance, etc.. to be a surprise to everyone when they arrived (we mimicked the entrance to Manderley - all dark, into red). So, three people came early which took time away from what we had to do. Saturday arrives and we sent the three away from the house so we can decorate. Another guest shows up at 3 in the afternoon. Completely doesn't care that he's early, or that it will ruin any surprise, or might inconvenience us as we are getting ready. Just wants to hang out while we get everything ready. Doesn't come with a costume or make any effort to dress up. Which wasn't mandatory, but makes the whole evening more fun the more people who do it. Party starts at 7. We have the whole "entrance" planned out, and a schedule of how things are supposed to happen, because I'm fixing dinner for everyone and have games we want to play afterwards. Our guests have had since 5:30 to get ready there at the house. Do you think they are ready? No!! It's 8 o'clock before they "enter" and by this point I am inwardly fuming because this sets everything off course. Other guests don't arrive until late either. I start fixing dinner (alfredo sauce from scratch with noodles) salad, and bread, thinking that it would be something easy. Wrong. My sauce I made ahead of time that afternoon separates and have my own mini break down when that goes awry. So, its after 8 and people are getting hungry and standing (hovering) in the kitchen, drinking. (We don't drink and haven't had alcohol at previous parties. I, naively thought I would be able to put up with it at one party, not having to worry about my friends driving home since everyone was sleeping over. I was wrong, and I won't put up with it again.) My cousin's boyfriend, who i barely tolerate normally was annoyingly trying to get me to try absinthe which i have already stated i didn't want. I'm having an inward and outward freak out over my alfredo sauce and he's standing over my shoulder telling me how I'm not cooking enough noodles for "him" and the other guests. I seriously wanted to take that hot sauce and sling it right in his stupid face and beat him with the frying pan. Admittedly, he was trying to push my buttons because he's an asshole. We had people make an alcohol run and no one would sit down to eat dinner before they got back, even though I wanted people to eat dinner while it was all hot. My sister and I have always played pranks and scared our guests throughout the years. Unbeknownst to us, some guests were trying to prank us over the night with prank calls to the house. After dinner, one guest, who had been drinking too much, took it too far, walked outside to make the calls, kept walking and got lost and walked over a mile into town. We had plans to play party games and had extensively decorated two rooms that had scenes that resembled SNM and we had plans to use those rooms. Well, this guest disappeared for an hour and everyone is running around like crazy, inside and outside looking for him. No one but his accomplice knew what was going on, and no one bothered telling us what was going on. His boyfriend was upset that he was missing, i was accused several times of planning it, when i had no idea what was going on. Once we found him, my sister had to go out in the car and pick him up downtown. After this, this same guy tried to play more pranks with another guest which just put more people on edge, and the whole time, all i can do is sit back and watch my party and my plans fall apart. All this time, everyone but us continues to drink. I finally corral people to play cards against humanity. The prank puller gets mad and throws his cards down during the game and storms off. His boyfriend goes after him. My cousin's bf is obnoxious and can do nothing but curse at everyone the entire game. By 1am, I am done!!! I clean up the kitchen and go to bed, leaving everyone else to do whatever. I was so mad. I got up the next morning and didn't even want to look at my guests. I didnt say but a handful of words to my cousin as they left and put on a happy face the rest of the day until the others left. Cleaning up i found that they had spilled drinks all over the floor downstairs. A guest drank too much and got sick during the night. I thought they had ruined an expensive rug. Thankfully, we finally got it clean. This party has just ruined the idea of a party for me for awhile. I thought my friends, being adults, would handle themselves more respectfully. I'm mad at myself for allowing them to walk all over me. At least I have the memory of that first Manderley because I definitely don't have many happy thoughts with this second one. My sister did take some great pics of the room and decor. For a few brief moments when the guests weren't up there, but the soundtrack was going it was perfect. It was spooky and it did feel like you could step back in time for a moment.

[durfeehtbelloraco98insuranc-blog]

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HEALTH INSURANCE FOR INFERITILITY?

"HEALTH INSURANCE FOR INFERITILITY?

I live in Georgia and I am trying to find some private insurance that would cover fertility testing and not treatment such as ivf OR IUI . Me and my fiance have been trying to have a baby for 3 years and i have tried everything, i finally have saved up enough money to be able to pay for private insurance can someone please tell me some health insurance company that may cover fertility testing.

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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I live in Georgia and I am trying to find some private insurance that would cover fertility testing and not treatment such as ivf OR IUI . Me and my fiance have been trying to have a baby for 3 years and i have tried everything, i finally have saved up enough money to be able to pay for private insurance can someone please tell me some health insurance company that may cover fertility testing.

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I live in Georgia and I am trying to find some private insurance that would cover fertility testing and not treatment such as ivf OR IUI . Me and my fiance have been trying to have a baby for 3 years and i have tried everything, i finally have saved up enough money to be able to pay for private insurance can someone please tell me some health insurance company that may cover fertility testing.

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Im getting a 350z for my birthday , and im just curious on how much insurance would cost on it . And dont give me crap about its not a good idea because my parents and i already talked about it. Just name the price u think it is . For me cheap is $500-1000 a year. Average $1000-1500 a year and Expensive $1500-2000. i know my parents have insurance and pay $500 a year for their 2 cars. And my dad pays $750 on his commercial trucks, 7 of them. And i live in Pa if that helps? And i will take driver corses. thats when u ride around the city with a teacher. THANKS Bros""

Should I buy a new car on interest free with free insurance or a second-hand car?

I have not owned a car in the UK, so have only had a full UK driver's licence for 4 years, although have driven in NZ for 14 years. Therefore, my insurance quotes have been in the region of 2 K. Was thinking of getting a new car to circumvent the hassle of looking for a second hand car and also to bring down my insurance the following year. Monthly repayments on a new car would be 200 on a 10 K car, or 3500 upfront for a second-hand car. Can someone give me a proper financial assessment and also the pros and cons of a second-hand and new car? Cheers!""

Car insurance uk only pt 2 ?

i just posted a question which i have varied answers.. another question of mine is that ok they took the whole years insurance.. now my mums left with 154.77 with not enough money to pay for another car.. she is fully comp, they did not give her a courtesy car which they are suppose to have done for 3days the car had been gone and one top of it the policy claims to give replacement cars until another car has been bought! any opinions?""

""On average, how much does SR22 insurance cost in Colorado?""

My boyfriend got a DWAI about 3 years ago, he has (finally) decided that he wants to get his licence back, but we aren't sure how much the sr22 insurance usually costs...This was his only driving offense if that matters. Can anyone tell me an average price?""

Can insurance change your vehicle designation?

repairs on my motorcycle which included frame change were authorized by my insurance. However the new frame came w/o a vin # which I had to get stamped for a new title. Now I have a specialty constructed vehicle , which is not for resale in California. is this legal?""

Will VA patients be requird to get health insurance?

I do not have health insurance and I am presently being treated by the VA. Will I be required to get health insurance?

Does anyone know where I can find a list of average auto insurance rates by vehicle?

We have a 16 yr old daughter whos looking for her first car. We wanted to find a list (if one exists) of average insurance rates to see which cars cost the least to insure. This way she'll know which cars she can afford. Thank You.

Can an insurance company make money on the Ryan plan?

and how? Ryan's plan says that insurance companies have to charge all old people of the same age, the same rate, sick or not... and they can't drop anyone... who would line up to provide this service that would seem to have a neagive profit margin from the get-go? unless they charged everyone 100k a year? I mean this has to cover all the ederly with cancer and all their treatments? right?""

How do i buy car insurance and how do I find a insurance company that suits me (cheap)?

ok so I've seen a car I would like to buy, how do I get car insurance? should I ring a call or get insured online? Also a list of names of insurance companies would be helpful? thanks""

Pregnant teen with no insurance?

Okay, so I'm 16 and I have no insurance,and I'm pregnant. My mom makes way to much for me to even try to get free insurance, but she is saying she is to embarrassed and she doesnt want to take me to the docter and she doesnt want to pay. How do i get free insurance in memphis.?""

I am looking for cheap nyc auto insurance. I dont want to pay more than 800 to a 1000 every 6 mos. Any ideas?

I live Brooklyn, NY. I am 24, female and I badly need cheap auto insurance, Help please.""

Do i still have to pay my car insurance?

i just started driving and i had a small crash im 3rd party insurance i scrapped the car couldnt afford the insurance and mot ect ,i still have to pay insurance for the year so i mite as well have kept the car is there anyway i can cancel as im in financial hardship""

Cheap car insurance?

i am trying to find car insurance that is cheap. i have tried geico and progressive and all the major ones. does anyone know of some off the wall cheapies?

Driving without auto insurance?

what are the concusguences

Do you need motorcycle insurance in florida?

i plan on moving to florida really soon, i am from n.j. and i heard i wouldnt need insurance, is that true? are there any circumstances where i would need to get insurance?""

I got a court date for not having a car insurance and I was cought in a parking lot?

Hi guys well I was cought by a cop cause my temp pleate was expired and did not have an insurance and I got these two ticket in a mall parking lot here is how the police saw me ( my car was parked in a parking near the minestry office from the past 2 weeks and I just went to start the car so the battery don't run out of charge, and just on the other side of this parking lot there was a coffe shop on the other side of the road which is a mall aria but to get there I had to cross a main road which Im guessing is a 50 meters crossing, so ofcorse the officer saw me on the main road and I turned in the parking lot and he stoped me there) so any one there can help me out how to get out of this mess I have asked some lawers they told me they can help me out but the fees they are charging is realy big please help""

Would you pay 7.00 per gallon for gas if you could have universal government provided heath care insurance?

Would you pay 7.00 per gallon for gas if you could have universal government provided heath care insurance?

Car insurance coverage?

Will the insurance of a driver pay off for a non family member's vehicle that was totaled if he has total coverage for his vehicles? The vehicle that was crashes has a lien against it & only has liability insurance. However, the driver that wrecked has total coverage for both of his vehicles. He has USAA insurance which looks like good insurance? There is GAP insurance on the wrecked vehicle. My question, how do I get the ball rolling on this? I live in Oklahoma, the truck is sitting at a savage yard in Killeen, TX , the primary driver (a soldier) is in a military camp in Virginia, the soldier that wrecked the vehicle is living in Killeen, TX. I signed for the loan, my name is on the title. I haven't ever driven this vehicle. The salvage yard said they sent registered letters to the Oklahoma motor vehicle department. This sounds like it could take months and months to settle. Meanwhile, I need the primary driver to continue make the payments. They are not agreeing on who shuld""

Proof Of Car Insurance?

I never owned a car, nor have I need to car insurance. I see I need Proof Of Insurance, How can I bypass proof of insurance when registering/buying a car from a dealership, etc?""

About how much will car insurance cost me?

I'm 17, I live in texas, I have never gotten into an accident, ill be driving a 2002 SUV and I want to buy it for six months so about how much will it cost""

Where can I find good deals on auto insurance?

instant, online quotes for auto insurance""

I'm auto insured in CA but not in NY how do i get insured in NY?

Hi I have auto insurance in california that's where i live and the car is registered in Ca also. The company that I have doesn't cover my car in NY it only covers for 10 days while I'm there in NY, But I'm going to be in NY for a while I might move there. What do I have to do to get insured in NY? And also the car is not in my name. What Do I DO?""

Car Insurance (Geico) ?

My parents don't have me on their insurance but I have a license does geico know I have my licence because I live with my parents? And by how much will they raise the insurance cost if they put me on?

How cheaper would it be to insure a v6 99-01 mustang rather than a GT mustang for a new driver?

I want to buy a mustang someday. But i'm only 16 and I dont have a job or license yet. I fell inlove with the 99-04 mustang series. People say that v6 has better gas mileage and is cheaper to insure. The only thing I like the GT for is the loud exhaust. Could I just by a V6 and upgrade the exhaust? would the insurance be higher?

Can Switching To Geico Really Save You 15% Or More On Car Insurance? Is it the cheapest?

Can Switching To Geico Really Save You 15% Or More On Car Insurance? Is it the cheapest?

HEALTH INSURANCE FOR INFERITILITY?

I live in Georgia and I am trying to find some private insurance that would cover fertility testing and not treatment such as ivf OR IUI . Me and my fiance have been trying to have a baby for 3 years and i have tried everything, i finally have saved up enough money to be able to pay for private insurance can someone please tell me some health insurance company that may cover fertility testing.

How can I take the insurance of my car off my parents name?

Okay sooo, my dad has never been a good father figure until i turned 16. I'm now 17 and have a car that i bought and i have the title and loan in my name. He is the co-signer. He also pays the insurance. I have a boyfriend and he doesn't like it when i have a boyfriend. He thinks i'm too young for one. My mom and him are divorced and i live with my mom. She doesn't care that i have a boyfriend and lets me go over to his house and go on dates, etc. He doesn't approve. So he threatened to take my car away if i don't be home when he says. My home is my moms house. I have more of a right to listen to her than i do my dad. She thinks so too. He says since he pays the insurance he should be able to take my car away if he wants to. I offered to pay my own but he won't let me because then he won't have anything to hold over my head. How can i get my own insurance and take it off his name without him knowing until its done?""

Health insurance internationally?

im traveling to france and i need to know if my health insurance will still be valid there. if i have to go to the hospital will they accept my american insurance card? i have aetna insurance.

Insurance on a used car verses a new car?

My dad says that if I buy a new car my insurance will double or even more than my insurance on my used car. Is that true?

Will a guys health insurance cover his girlfriends pregnancy?

not married, she dosen't have insurance. Will his insurance cover it since its his baby?""

""Was in a fender bender, not my fault but I have no auto insurance...advice?""

I live in LA, California. I was hit at a gas station -- a car backed into my front left door... My car was the only one with noticeable damage. However, I have no auto insurance. I also don't have a lot of money to get either cars fixed. I don't really care to get my car fixed since it's a 92 nissan stanza about to die out on me. I just don't want to get in trouble for not having insurance...Their auto insurance has already called and sent a letter to have my insurance rep contact them to work out a deal to fix my car. They are already claiming it to be their fault.... Should I call their insurance rep and let them know that I do not want to put down a claim? Or call the guy who hit me personally and let him know I don't want to put down a claim? Could they find out that I have no insurance and figure out a way to get me in trouble? I only gave them my name, address, phone number and driver's licence number. Side note: The car is registered under my sister. Her registration and license have been suspended due to a DUI. Will they find out about this and find a way to get me/us in trouble?""

Is it legal in CA for a used car dealer to sell you auto insurance?

i purchased a used car, and the used car dealer put in the contract that I was also purchasing auto insurance thru them...but i wuld get a refund of those premiums when I provided a copy of my own insurance. I never signed any other ionsurance forms with them. i did buy my own insurance later. But, is it legal for the used car delaer to sell me insurance?""

What cars have cheap insurance for new drivers?

I have only been driving since january this year, i currently own a triumph spitfire that i have been restoring for the last two years, it is in really nice condition now and want something new, the insurance was only 756 for the first year which i was very pleased about. I want to sell my car an buy another convertible, but what cars have cheap insurance? i am looking into the the possibility of another classic or just a more modern car. all suggestions welcome. Thank you in advance""

Average moped cost for 21yo student?

Im thinking of getting a moped to run around on as its so much cheaper than a car and was wondering how much this would cost. I can find the moped but how much would the tax, insurance etc be? Im a female 21 year old student, from england if that helps at all for working out the insurance.""

Is it possible to get car insurance in new york? sign the contract but not available?

I just bought a used car, and insure that car though an agency, they told me my insurance will be available at 0:00 next day. However, unfortunately, I involved in a car accident 2 hours later after I sign the contract. Is it possible for me to get insurance? What should I do? Is there anybody who can help me?""

Paying car insurance semiannually?

If I buy car insurance for the first time and set up to pay semiannually, do I pay immediately, or do you pay at the end of the 6 months for the 6 months you've had it?""

Cheap Life Insurance?

So I need a life insurance, and I don't know what term, universal, and whole life insurance is. I don't really have a budget, just under 300 dollars per year I guess. By the way I'm 13.""

If private insurance companies are so bad...?

Why doesn't the government nationalize life insurance and car insurance?

Tricare/ER Insurance Question?

I lived in Arizona last year and still am in the Tricare West system (out of Luke AFB), although I now live in Ohio. I hurt my ankle several weeks ago and still can't bend it certain ways, and am beginning to suspect a hairline fracture...if I go to the ER (nowhere near any military facilities, especially not with hospitals), and put down my insurance company, will Tricare pay for it (including poss. X-rays) even though I'm still in the Tricare West system? Or should I submit the papers to get a PCM in the North region? (No matter what, I'm assuming I don't need a referral from my PCM to go to the hospital/get X-rays, is this correct?)""

State farm car insurance question?

My bf was in an accident recently where he was rear ended at a stop light. The other driver was ticketed and no one is contesting the fact that the other driver is at fault. My bf decided to go through the other driver's insurance (state farm) rather than his own so that he wouldn't have to pay a deductible. He needs about $600 worth of body work done. After going through all the hoops, he was told to take the car to a local body shop & that he would be approved for a rental car while it was being repaired. Today, he took the car to the shop, but they told him they won't take it until March 21st (about 3 weeks from now). Until then, they expect him to drive his DAMAGED car. He drives long distances pretty frequently (usually visits me an hour and a half away every week or two) and neither of us are comfortable with the idea of him getting on the interstate in a damaged car. What recourse does he have in this situation? It seems pretty unfair that the accident was someone else's fault entirely and he is going to be stuck waiting almost a month to be put whole again :( I suggested that he call state farm and let them know that he's not satisfied with their solution, but he doesn't think it will get him anywhere. Does anyone have experience with this sort of thing? Thoughts in general?""

Will my premiums go up on car insurance if I'm not At Fault?

I live in the state of Michigan. Someone rear ended me at a stoplight. My tail light is broken and my bumper is sagging along with other minor scratches etc. I have 2 main questions ...show more

Car Insurance question....?

Ok, so I'm 24 about to turn 25(apparently that's when your taken out of the pool , or so I've heard, which means my rates should lower.) However my insurance will expire before I turn 25, and there will be about a 3 month gap between those dates. I was wondering if I could get car insurance to cover those 3 or so months, or would I have to buy a 6 month and then get another quote later?""

What company offer auto insurance for illegal ?

Do you know what company offer auto insurance for illegal ? I email for some company but they answer me that I need a valid license.

Cheap auto insurance in mississauga area?

Hi, I am a 22 Year old, female, G2 driver. I was wondering if anyone knows of a good insurance company with cheap rates for a new driver for either a 2000 2DR Sunfire or 2002 Mazda Protege. The rates i've been coming across seem pretty high for a full time student. Also, I have no previous insurance history or any accidents. Thanks!!!""

How can I get an insurance quote?

I don't have my license yet, but I know what car I'll be driving. Is there a way to get a quote before I actually get my license?""

Am I eligible for unemployment insurance in Alaska if I am a full-time student?

Am I eligible for unemployment insurance in Alaska if I am a full-time student?

I received a letter requesting that I show proof of car insurance?

I received a letter that asking me to send proof of insurance on my vehicle. I lost a good job in September and the job that I have currently, barely pays me enough to pay rent on my apartment let alone insurance for my vehicle. I just got a new job and will be able to put insurance on my car in a few weeks. I did some searching and I know my license will get suspended! My question is for the state of Ohio, when you haven't been in an accident and this is only your first offense...how long will they suspend license? the website doesn't say. It just says until requirements are met meaning I have to pay reinstatement fee and get sr22 bond. If I can't drive I will loose my new job...I'm loosing it. will someone please tell me what to expect?""

Does driving school affect insurance rates when over 21 in Massachusetts?

I am 21 and have never held a drivers license before. I would like to get it now, but I do not want to take the classroom portion of driving school, just the road lessons. However, my father would add me to his insurance plan since I'm still living with him until I complete college and grad school. He is worried about insurance rates being too high without driving school. Would this affect my insurance rates since I am over 21?""

What is best landlord insurance policy or company?

what is best landlord insurance policy or company?

Cheapest Car Insurance for Young Drivers in Florida?

I live in Orlando FL and I'm looking for some cheap insurance, is there any companies that are known for cheap insurance and good service? Thanks.""

How much insurance would be if i bought a 1994 honda civic dx?

i am 18 and i plan on buying a car next year so i just wanted to know how much insurance would cost

HEALTH INSURANCE FOR INFERITILITY?

I live in Georgia and I am trying to find some private insurance that would cover fertility testing and not treatment such as ivf OR IUI . Me and my fiance have been trying to have a baby for 3 years and i have tried everything, i finally have saved up enough money to be able to pay for private insurance can someone please tell me some health insurance company that may cover fertility testing.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/insurance-company-giving-me-runaround-shockley-altagracia"

[maximumskittles-blog]

What would you do in this situation?

My bf and I had been dating for 3 1/2 years, but broke up in January. In August, we decided to try again. Things were going good, however I noticed that I was putting in much more effort than he was. I pretty much felt unappreciated and that I was putting in more effort than he was. I was paying for our dates, doing all of the driving, making the plans, etc. I don’t mind doing those things, but I do mind when I’m the only one doing them or when he doesn’t even offer to do anything. I brought this up to him, and he said I was right and that he just didn't notice or really think about it. This convo was partly on the phone while driving to his house, and then we continued the convo once I got there. When I got there, I noticed he had texted me “I will take you out to dinner, what do you want.” I didn’t read it until I got to his house, and by then it was 10pm. He said that he went to the ATM in the 15 minutes in-between time that we didn't talk, which I thought was fishy for the time of night, but he insisted it was what he did so I believed him. I told him to just save the money for the next day since it was so late. We had a long talk about the situation, about me feeling unappreciated and as if I was putting in all the effort. How he would always say that he never had money, yet could buy cigarettes and drinks for him and his friends, and I told him what he spent money on was a matter of priorities. He refused to take money out of his savings, which he said he had $5000, and I understood that, it was just he would always blow his spending money the day before I would come out to his house. I wasn’t asking him to spend all of his money on me, just maybe take me to the movies or to dinner or something. Nothing extravagant, just the normal things people do in a relationship for each other.

The next day, I said I was going to get some coffee and he handed me a $20 bill and said "buy anything you want, don't worry about it." I thought it was nice that he was finally trying, even if it was just a cheap cup of coffee from Tim Horton’s. I come back to his house (he lives at his two friends’ house) and go to give him the change back, and he tells me to keep it for later that day. He tells me that we cannot do anything until a certain time because one of his friends wanted to talk to him about something. Eventually the friend came home, and she asked whether or not he wanted to talk with me in the same room or not, so they went out onto the front porch. Standing in another room, I slowly hear her raise her voice and hear the argument (I have terrible hearing, so I couldn’t make out exactly what was being said). She then comes into the room I'm in and tells me that he stole money out of her wallet and that he’s been doing shady things. I walked to where he was, and at first he said he "didn't want to tell me" what happened, but then I said what his friend had said, and he admitted it. I asked if the $20 he had given me earlier was what he took, and he said yes, so I gave him back the change and dumped out the rest of my coffee, realizing that it wasn’t even his money that bought me it. He said he was being kicked out of his friends' house now. At this point, I have no clue how to react, I had a million thoughts going through my brain, so I just stayed calm. He said that he didn’t know what to do at this point. I told him that all he can do is hold his head high and lay in the bed that he made.  We go inside to start packing his things up, and I notice he puts another $20 down on top of the change I had just given back to him. I said “I thought you said you only took the $20 you gave me” and he said something like he thought I was just referring to the change, which I think was kind of bullshit. I told him that he should personally give his friend the money back, not just leave it on the counter for her, and so he did. When he gave her the money back, she had said “you have stolen from me in many different ways,” and those words still run through my head for I wonder what she meant by that. Still, I helped him pack up his stuff into my vehicle, and drove him home to his parents. I helped him unload, and we walked around his property. He said he was sorry and that he knew he had messed up. He said he would understand if I broke up with him or needed a break. I told him that I didn’t know what to think at that point. That I wanted to still hang out with him, but I knew that I shouldn’t. So, I went home. Its been three weeks now and we have hung out twice. He has bought me flowers and dinner since, I just don't know what to feel. We haven’t been able to really talk about it in person because we have no private moments. I don’t want it to escalate into a fight, so I didn’t want to talk about it in public. Also, I don’t want to ruin the only time we get to spend together. He works midnights and lives about 30 minutes away and I work during the day so its hard to organize a day to hang out. We have been though so much together and this was supposed to be our "fresh start" after we broke up back in January. The first week after this all happened, he wasn’t putting any effort into the relationship, he claimed because he “figured I was going to leave him again.” I was the one calling him, texting him, trying to talk to him, and it hurt that he didn’t feel like fighting for us. I told him that he should be trying to make things up. He said that if I was going to leave him, then “what was the point.” That hurt. I explained that if he thinks that, he obviously can’t see my worth and that I shouldn’t have to prove myself to him. He eventually said that he loves me and will really try. Also, to try and understand why he didn’t just go up to the ATM and instead took someone else’s money, I asked if he really did have as much as he said in his saving’s account, and he said that he did and that he was just selfish.  He had flowers delivered to my house last week and took me to a diner, which I appreciated, but the whole time I felt anxious. He tried kissing me, I just don’t feel attracted to him anymore and I feel bad that i feel that way. I just don’t feel the same since he lied to me and fooled me. He lied to me about going to the store ATM, he sent me off with dirty money and pretended like he was treating me, and told me to keep the change for later. He really did fool me. It wasn’t just a single lie. He took advantage of my trust. And its not just about me, he screwed over his two friends that provided him a home and also helped him get a new job. He promised me so much at the beginning of our second relationship, and I really trusted his words, giving him the benefit of the doubt and also giving my all. Its hard to feel attracted/want to kiss someone who has lied to you and fooled you. I haven’t told him those things because I don’t want to offend him or make him feel insecure. 

He currently lives with a different friend who drives him to his job because he doesn’t have a car (which is why he stays there). I had moved him back into his parent’s house, and all he told them was that he and his roommates got into an argument and he left, which honestly irks me because he is lying to them. His family really likes me, and was so happy that we had gotten back together. I love them too, so it is hard to think of not seeing them again because it was hard not talking to them the first breakup. I know I was made to look like the bad-guy our first breakup, even though there were many reasons I had to break up with him in the first place. 

I just don’t know what to do. I had given him a second chance because when we first broke up, I had kind of done it unexpectedly I guess, and I just never felt like things were finished. There was so much left unresolved and I wanted to try one more time. I thought we had been and were being honest with each other. At the beginning of our second relationship, he had brought issues that he knew he had without me having to say anything, and I really thought that he had learned from mistakes and realized what needed to change, so I believed that he had matured. 

We talked about it this morning, and I told him that part of me resents him for lying to and fooling me. It came up because he noticed that I wasn’t being enthusiastic when he was telling me how good he was at his job the past few days. He claimed that I didn’t care, and I told him I did care, it was just hard to show enthusiasm because of the feelings I was having. He told me that I should show enthusiasm and that we should be supporting each other. That his life changed in a day and that he is just trying to get things together. I told him that I do support him and have said that I am happy he got a new job and all, but it was his choice that changed his life. He said that he “doesn’t have forever” for me to forgive him or get over my resentment. He brought up how much he struggled after I left him the first time and that I don’t really know how bad it was for him when we were apart. The conversation got cut short because I had to get lunch with my grandma at a scheduled time. 

We are supposed to go to a wedding reception this weekend, which I was not originally invited to, however he and his close family are really trying to get me to be able to go. They even offered to pay the bride/groom whatever it would cost to get me a seat. I know they love me and I love them, it just sucks because if I did end things, I look like the bad-guy once again. I have such a guilty conscience, and I felt terrible for ending things in the first relationship even though it was necessary. 

Is there anyone out there that has been though anything similar or can offer some advice? It would help greatly, thanks. (Also, thanks for reading all of that lol)

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

6/11/17, 1:41am - post vacation

It’s been two weeks since I last wrote. Goddamn it feels like months.

The day after saturday.... So Sunday my family shows up at my place, mom immediately starts going through my shit until I start yelling and smacking her on the back of the head. Definitely not a good note to start off on.

The trip was pretty fucking great. Idk if they’re highlights but I just wanna ramble off a bunch of memories. Ate at Cracker Barrel on the way down because Trusten always felt left out when me and Tessa would go eat there with my dad. Little did he know that was my least favorite place he would take us, but it was a nice dinner nonetheless lmao.  The subject of my vasectomy became a huge topic all trip, partially because I had to bring up trying to keep my shit from getting infected whenever we would go swimming. Immediately jumped into the beach though it was fantastic. The water was beautifully clear and so warm, like taking a bath. Got to know my cousins a lot better. Christina is great, but also made me happy I’m not about to have a kid at my age. Got to see my aunts and stuff too, I can’t rag on her too hard because one has cancer, but they were talking about some pseudo-spiritualism-science for a long time and I just had to smile and keep my mouth shut for a while. “I’ve read it takes 48 days for the spirit of the deceased to reach the heavens. And it takes 48 days for a developing baby to be imbued with the spirit. Coincidence??” yeah idk lmfao. Great dance party with the fam though lol. Tessa’s looking unhealthily skinny but tremendously happy. I’m glad she’s back and done with her crazy dieting. Puts me to shame, tbh. Kinda makes me want to go a little harder and finish trimming off my fat but I’ve got more healthy plans I’m gonna start working on I think. Saw danni and her new gf, she cut my hair and gave me a new dye job. Was frustrated that I had to have so much cut off because I wanted to keep growing it out, but it Does look pretty fucking great and I have faith in her regardless lol. Smoked with her and grandpa and mom and talked about a whole bunch of shit. Tried to explain about how I treasure my personal time way more than investing my time into growing my wealth, had to try and do it without giving him shit for spending all his time trying to make money and not having any of it left to himself after the divorce. Also asked if he was gay and he said nah so that puts that to bed lmaooo. we went out to the Keys and that was kind of a disaster. I always kinda romanticized the thought of them when I was a kid, remembering like bright white sandy beaches and beautiful water, but there’s actually not much of that at all down there. The beach we went to smelt like rot. It was beautiful but covered in seagrass and very shallow, me and tessa and tav and trusten had a nice time of swimming against the current together joking about shit. Made a nice dinner of fried salmon and asparagus for my little brothers. Felt nice to cook again, should probably do more of that. Things boiled over with my mom when she kept fucking with the other food I picked out for us. Wasted a whole pack of bacon out of spite and so I flipped shit and decided I was done with them. Spent a day playing video games and tanning and laying around, was probably best to heal up my nuts anyway lol. We left the keys a day early because of it, but not before we got to watch this tenacious D video that they had. No wifi lol. Lessee. Came back up, saw gabbi and I think I like her new bf. They seem pretty good together, but I tried to warn them to not nitipick each other to death now that they’re moving in together. Good luck lmfao. Drank 9 beers and a cider with my uncle DJ and cousin Dom and his girlfriend was cute too, I shared wayyy too much about my life, told half my family about how I had my friends photograph me fucking at the old well, but ate some delicious fucking italian cooking and had a wonderful night. Smoked with DJ and mom and listened to their old stories of growing up as kids and getting into trouble for smoking and stuff. Oh and right before the keys I started binge watching Doctor Who. Since Katy went and watched every single episode of rick and morty in one night I asked her what her favorite show was that I could do. Doctor Who is a Little more involved, but I’ve gotta say it’s fucking incredible. Fell in love with it within minutes, had me giggling like an idiot all week. I’d stay up til like 7am watching episodes, get a few hours of sleep and then try to do whatever everyone else was though by the end of the trip it wasn’t much. The drive home wasn’t very eventful, me and mom split it, and it ended at a nice pit stop at dar and pa’s for some pancakes and a nap before I had to head home. Was trying to do a melee tournament and see katy and found out I needed to get my tire fixed, but then costco was going to take too long and so would melee so I just got back to greensboro and had a nice night of watching adventure time and a little sex and cuddles. Pretty fucking solid vacation despite the fighting with the fam, not gonna lie. Plus this is like the first time I look really not-fat in beach pictures, it’s kinda incredible.

So Katy... I spent a lot of time talking to Katy. We’ve at least snapchatted every day for the past month now, but haven’t had another drunk convo like when I was at the lake. After seeing her when I got back on monday I also spent the night with her again weds, and we’ve been bingewatching Adventure Time from the beginning and I took her out to eat at Smith Street Diner, it’s all been fantastic. But she couldn’t see me tuesday because she had another guy friend over (and another on thursday, but I was at work anyway lol). So I get kinda jealous that she has this beautiful ass kid and all these other guys wanting to fuck her, mostly because I don’t have other people or a very decent schedule to hook up right now, orr even get to go out drinking with her. Feelsbadman. It also feels like it’d be too much work/money to try to get a side chick anyway, and plus, melee is my real side hoe let’s not kid ourselves.. [speaking of which, the day I couldn’t see her I kicked ass at melee and won a little money, so that was pretty fucking great.] She’s amazing to spend time with and she gave me a toothbrush to keep in her bathroom and I love cuddling up with her beautiful body, but tbh she’s pretty standoffish whenever I try to get too intimate in person (mostly trying to kiss her too much), and when she refuses to send me a message back because she’s with somebody else I can’t help but shake this feeling like I’m not good enough for her... Feelings are stupid. I worry about going too hard too fast with her, but every time I’ve gone too far off the deep end she’s been able to laugh it off, which I think is incredible. Definitely should have scared her off with the shit I was saying about trying to make her fall in love with me (and not vice versa, for the record, because I still don’t have any feelings <:^D ) when I was 10 drinks deep, but somehow she even laughed that off. Plus she’s fantastically nerdy and exposed me to doctor who and this show is like my favorite shit right now lmao. I’ve just wrapped up the fourth season, which is about 37 hours of watching within the past two weeks.. It’s so fucking goooood, man. She told me all I had to do was catch up to her at the 12th doctor but I wanna go back and watch all the old stuff after that, too. so like 56/835 episodes done so far so good lmaoo. Anyway. Idk I just hope I get to spend a lot more time with her doing cool shit. I don’t know what I am to her, so I have no idea if this is gonna go anywhere, but it really doesn’t matter all that much to me anyway. I just enjoy hanging out with her, and she got me to quit smoking cigarettes completely, and now I’m watching this wonderful show instead of wasting my fucking life bored on twitch streams, and I’m even actually starting to get motivated to start exercising again. And the sex is greattttt lmaooo. So I want to spend as much time with her as possible. It’s pretty gay, not gonna lie, but that’s where I’m at right now. Idk why I’ve always needed some cute girlie to help motivate me to get my shit done, though. Personal flaws...

OH HOLY FUCK so this week was the most productive week ever though, because not only did I manage to get laid and place 3rd in melee this week, I also FINALLY got to take the exam for my RPSGT!! The day I was originally scheduled for was a shit show, I drove 2 hours out to fayetteville and found out they had fucked up my registration and I didn’t get to take it that day after waiting for hours to see if they could fix it, but luckily I was able to get rescheduled for the day after, so I left Katy’s place to go to Durham and took it at 8am thursday. I was fucking sweating a little, not gonna lie. They were asking me all sorts of questions about pediatric sleep medicine that I wasn’t quite prepared for, and some of the scoring questions were confusing to me, but I managed to pass! So now I finalllllllllly have made it to become a real sleep tech. Gonna get that fat raise and finally get to a point where I can stop worrying about money, it’s fucking phenomenal.

So I’m so fucking ready to get off work... Gonna go back to raleigh today and see fonzi and frankie and maybe johnny so that’s gonna be sick. There’s this new melee mod that came out so I’m thinking about getting a soldering iron and fucking with my controller, maybe I’ll actually be good at this game lol. Dunno when I’m hanging with katy next hopefully every day lmfaooo. I guess I’ll update when I update.