#so unbelievably badly wanting to kill myself lol

[lunchlox]

.

[space-age-babe]

is no one else just exhausted and listless and hopeless and I cannot stress this enough exHAUSTED literally all of the time . hello. how is anyone supposed to live like this??? hello???????

[earmo-imni]

okay but you having a you that goes on continuous adventures throughout the Favorite Fictional Worlds is AWESOME. That sounds like a blast. I am never in any of my daydreams. I'm not about to inflict situations upon myself lol. I DO however badly voice act a line I'm making my characters say until the emotion is right. Much to the horror of everyone else who lives with me, I'm sure. I write a TON of dialogue and the thought that the readers don't understand the exact voice I want the character to say things in... and that I barely comprehend that voice myself... brutal. Don't make me voice act my own characters I swear to god. It's just everyone talking in different flavors of my voice in there.

Yeah, it's unbelievable how much mileage I've also gotten about Seven Deadly Sins as compared to the other fandoms I've been in. Sometimes I just don't want to pluck the characters out of the canon and put them in my head, because I feel like that would disturb the beautiful creation, so I don't daydream about those fandoms at all. I basically have like three main universes, the longest of which I've had and have been working on regularly since the fourth grade. VERY interesting story to go along with that one, but it's the kind that you CANNOT tell unprompted, so I'm waiting for an appropriate time to entertain the Internet Strangers with my strange childhood book experience.

Anyway! Happy to be following you now, I'll have a blast looking around at your blog :D

You are so freaking nice, thank you!

I inflict SO many situations on myself, partly because a lot of the time I find it easier to roleplay myself-but-slightly-to-the-left than to roleplay one of my ocs, but also because I legitimately enjoy my big crazy universe and also it’s just fun to be like “Yeah, I’m best friends with Meliodas and a member of Fairy Tail and a companion of the Doctor and also grown up Gamzee’s my moirail now cause I saved him from going brainwashed-and-crazy and also I fixed the MCU! It doesn’t suck anymore! The plot holes are gone!” It’s just fix-it fics and self-indulgent “girl fell into Middle-earth” style fics all day long. Unfortunately for alternate me I very much enjoy whump and angst and hurt/comfort so alternate me goes through. So much. Luckily alternate me is immortal due to shenanigans (the same way as Meliodas, essentially, except the resurrection time is way faster and also there’s no losing emotions), so they can survive everything. Unluckily this means I can kill them as many times as I want. Angst! 😃

(Meliodas may have had to essentially shake me by the shoulders and go “I know you want to help me and I appreciate it but I would like to not have to watch you die for me repeatedly because I see you as a friend and it hurts to watch you die regardless of whether you come back or not” whoops)

I also voice act all my characters (I actually find it significantly easier to keep track of my story if I speak it out loud) and boy howdy is it awkward when a family member comes down the stairs or I’m out on a late-night walk and suddenly realize Oh! There’s a person there! Hearing everything I say! And I sound insane!

And saaaaaaame with the problem of everyone speaking in different flavors of my voice!!! There’s a few characters that I have a pretty good grasp of their voice, and some that have very distinct ways of talking (Gamzee my beloved. Also literally everyone from Middle-earth) that make it easier to do them. But yeah, I FELT that.

I don’t usually write stuff down, I just let it exist in my head and hope I remember it next time I feel like playing in the sandbox. My au that you found is only like. The second thing I’ve actually tried to write down as a coherent narrative since my first attempts at fanfic when I was 15 (the other thing being my Tolkien OC Mavwin’s story. It is. Not even a full first draft. Oh boy.). I have a bunch of notes for a rewrite of an old fixit fic for a musical I like, and a bunch of notes on some Harry Potter OCs and significantly less notes on a Fairy Tail OC. Also a largely-unused sideblog for my multiverse-travelling daydream. (Don’t look yet, it needs some rewriting and a whole lot of updating.)

I am very curious about this world you can’t speak of unprompted, so consider this your prompt lol. I promise it can’t be any worse than what I’ve read/come up with/listened to my best friend explain about their OCs (I swear she’s worse than I am about giving her characters trauma 😂)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #243

honestly too lazy to think up random song lyrics here, so just have the survey.

What is the one thing you remember most about January of last year? Nothing. You look at the clock and it’s 11:11, do you wish? I never do, no. How do you think you will look 3 years from now? I pray the fuck to god I'm finally at a weight I want. And of course more tattoos and piercings. And colored hair. What would be number one on your bucket list? Meet, thank, and hug Mark profusely while ugly crying. How old do you think you’ll be when you make your will? I don't know. You get a text message. who do you hope it is? Sara. Are there any songs that you hear that just make you wanna dance? Not really, no. Do you get any of your songs from Limewire? lol how old is this... but no. I did when it was "the thing," though. You and your best friend get in a fight. Why do you think that is? I don't know. Probably said something that came across wrong over a text. What is your biggest annoyance at the time? Financial shit. You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do? Apologize to him if he's even okay with me speaking a word to him and then letting him on his way because I don't want to make him think I'm still stuck on him. I'd wanna know how things are in his life, but I don't want him to get the wrong impression. It'd be better for both of us. Have/are you depressed? I mean I'm diagnosed with depression, but it's well-managed. At the moment I'm not *depressed*, no. Did you grow up in the United States? Yeah. Never left it, even. Do you call anybody "baby"? Besides my cat and snake, no. Who is the one person you can completely be yourself around? Sara. Are your pop-ups blocked on your computer? Yeah. Do you wear earrings on a normal basis? No. How old were you when you realized that life goes on? I don't know... This is such a vague question. But I guess probably when a childhood cat disappeared or died sometime in elementary school. Are your parent’s night owls or morning birds? Well, I don't live with Dad, but Mom is a night owl more than a morning bird for sure. She can be so grouchy in the morning. Do you like to sing? Eh. Who is your favorite author? *shrugs* I don't read enough. How many pillows are on your bed? Two. What’s your favorite thing about the holidays? Seeing my niece and nephew so excited. What is your favorite type of cake? Red velvet, baby. How many rings do you wear on a day-to-day basis? One. Have you ever been in a mental hospital as a patient? Multiple times. Probably WOULDN'T have been multiple if the psych hospitals here were worth a damn. Went to the same one like five-six times and one other and both sucked. It was a partial hospitalization program, WHICH ISN'T AS "SERIOUS" AS AN ACTUAL FUCKING PSYCH HOSPITALIZATION, that saved my ass. What’s your favorite brand of flavored water? None. Have you ever had an ulcer? No. Do you take birth control pills? Not anymore, no. I was only on them for serious period pain, but as of recently my psychiatrist wanted to test out how I do mood-wise without them, especially as it was a regular occurrence for me to be borderline or actually suicidal the day before my cycle started, and the whole week leading up to it was sketchy. So far, I've been fine - I think even better. I was on it for years, and I mean your body changes, so. Do you like soy sauce? Noooooo no no no. Do you have a good doctor? My psychiatrist is literally the reason I'm alive. That's no exaggeration. I would've killed myself by now if it wasn't for him setting my medicine right. I know I would've. My therapist is great, and my primary physician is fine. What’s your favorite store to browse around? Morph Market, ahaha. I love looking at all the reptile morphs, especially the ball pythons. Do you ever meditate on Scripture? No. Do you like poetry? Yes. Do you have expensive tastes? Nah. What is your favorite color? Pink, particularly lighter hues. Have you ever made a scrapbook? Yeah, for a little while when I was younger. What is a question you get asked too much? If my lip piercing hurt. It doesn't bother me, I'm just asked it most. Worst grade you’ve ever gotten? Zeros on things I didn't do/missed. Who are your 3 closest friends? Sara, Girt, and uh... Chelsea, I think. Maybe Lisa. What is something you have always wanted to do? Travel somewhere cool/really memorable. What are you listening to? A playthrough of The Last Guardian. God, I wanna play it so badly. Do you like the smell of cinnamon? It's one of my favorites, omg. Are you in a relationship? No. Do you like the band Hollywood Undead? Yeah. Do you like Taco Bell? Only the quesadillas, THE CINNABON DELIGHT THINGS, and fiesta potatoes. Who was the first person you spoke to today? My mom. Who was the last? I was just texting the woman who adopted Kaiju; she's catching me up on how she's doing, and apparently great! We're trying to plan a day for me to come see her. :> Have you told anyone you loved them today? Yeah. What song is stuck in your head right now? You mentioned HU, now "Bullet" is looping in my head lol. Does it snow where you live? Sometimes, but rarely a lot. What are you currently sitting/laying on? My bed. Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? No. How old is your oldest living grandparent? 80-something. Do you wear contacts? No, I wear glasses, but I wish I could do contacts again considering I desperately want an undereye microdermal but it'd look stupid with glasses, so. Contacts just annoy me. Where are the last three places you went? Taco Bell, my doctor's appointment, and the gas station. Do you ever go hunting/fishing? I would never in my life hunt, and I don't even want to fish anymore. Both are cruel (hunting more than "cruel"...) imo. I'd only ever fish again if Dad asked me to go with him, because since I was a kid, that's always been our "thing," our bonding experience. I wouldn't be able to say no. Do you know anyone who is a nurse? A lot, actually. Would you prefer to own a lapdog or a bigger dog? Sigh. Didn't think I'd want a dog after Teddy, but as of very recently, I've found myself missing the companionship of one. I don't know if I'll end up with another, though, but if I do, I'd want a medium-sized one, like Teddy was. Are you more of a cat person? Yes. What is your worst subject? Math. Do you know anyone who plays guitar? Yeah. Do you play guitar? Not anymore. Have you had to have stitches at all in the last year? No. Have you ever stayed up all night and then gone to work in the morning? No. That sounds like hell. How many relationships have you been in so far this year? It's a week into January lmao. No. Do you prefer to be single or with someone? With someone. Though now that I am single, I kinda think that's for the better right now...? Eh idk. Do you have any tattoos? Yeah. Are you planning on getting any? Oh, plenty. My Mark tribute is getting tidied up by a great artist on the 4th next month and I CANNOT contain my excitement. Did you lose your virginity before you were sixteen? No. Have you ever dated someone who had a child? No, and I never would. What are the middle names of everyone in your family? Wow yeah, lemme share that on the Internet. Where did you go the last time you took a vacation? The beach. Would you ever consider adoption? I don't want kids so like, Who is someone you aspire to be like? Man, there's a lot of people who inspire me in different ways. I think the world knows I look up to the wisdom, determination, dedication, creativity, compassion, etc. etc. etc. of Mark, I adore the heart and empathy of Shane Dawson, Steve Irwin is my absolute idol in terms of passion for animals, and Jeffree Star's work ethic is like, unbelievable. There are plenty others, but those really stand out. How do you feel about your life right now? oof What is your favorite game show to watch? Family Feud with Steve Harvey. He is so fuckin funny. How good are you in trivia games? What’s your best category? Idk. I'm probably best with animal knowledge though, judging from games I've played along with. Would you much rather test your knowledge or share opinions? I guess it depends on the subject and with whom. How do you feel about word games? Fun. Who is your absolute favorite film director? TIM BURTON. THERE IS NO COMPETITION W/ HIM. When’s the last time had to cover a coworker’s shift? Never. Have you ever had a really unreliable coworker? I've never worked long enough to know. Have you ever had to have a ring resized? No. What is a question you would never ever ask somebody? "I would never ask someone what they weigh." <<< This. I'm not a doctor, so I don't see any situation where that'd be an appropriate question to ask anyone. What sounds like a rude word but really isn’t? I'm sure there's something, but idk rn. Have you ever made a blanket? If so, how did you make one? No. How many godparents do you have? Do they care about you? Zero, I think. What is something that should not exist? Rape. Is there a word you have an emotional connection to? It sounds weird I'm sure, but "petrichor" (the smell of the earth after it rains) makes me feel... weird. Nostalgic, anxious, melancholy. Shortly before becoming a couple, Jason and I were just outside at school while it was raining, and we wondered what that smell was called. When we went back to the computer lab (where we were after exams were done), we looked it up and found out "petrichor" was the term. I remember those days too clearly for them to have happened eight years ago. How about a sound? Any emotional connection to a sound? Ummm not that I can think of. Is there something coming up that you are dreading? Not really, no. Do you ever read graphic novels? No. What is the most ridiculous product you have ever seen? Oh idk. Are there any spiders in your home right now? I mean realistically, probably? None that I know of. What was the last thing that made you laugh hysterically? I can't remember exactly what it was, but something on YouTube. I think on Game Grumps. Are there any candy stores where you live? Not that I'm aware of. Do you own any fingerless gloves? Yeah, I still have them in my drawer, actually. I wore them every day in high school. Tell me about the last animal you touched. My cat Roman. :') Have you ever witnessed a birth? Only cats. Can you see your reflection from where you are sitting? No. Wait, yes I can, though only slightly. My snake's cage is just across the room, so I can see against the glass a bit. Quick! Sniff the air. What can you smell? Cat. .-. Have you ever been in a restroom that actually had a restroom attendant? No? What was the last photo you took of? A deer! There were like, seven or eight in the field just across the road a few evenings ago. My lens didn't go out as close as I'd want, but I took some as practice anyway. I only got a few shots though; I came out to the front porch, and after about a minute, they gradually went back into the woods. What do you look for in a mate? Physically and personality-wise. Am I the only one who hates when human couples are referred to as "mates"???? Idk man it shouldn't because we're just animals, but it's weird. ANYWAY, I don't have like, a concrete vision of a partner, but I do have some set-in-stone personality/moral alignments that are musts, such as just being a generally good person, empathetic, you must love animals or shoo, be in touch with their emotions, understanding, soft stuff like that. I also have a strong preference for having a good sense of humor, I lean more romantically towards outgoing people, you gotta be laid-back and approachable... that kind of stuff. Physically, I really, really don't care, but I think we all have preferences; ex., while it really doesn't matter to me ultimately, I tend to find longer hair on guys more attractive than short. Your thoughts on bacon? Ugh, I wish I didn't love it. I wanna be a vegetarian again so badly. What are your thoughts on little kids with cell phones? If they're of an age where they may be separated from their parents semi-regularly and without the constant presence of a guardian, I'm actually for them having *simple* cellphones. Emergencies exist, and even I, someone who doesn't even want kids, would be scared knowing my child is without an easy, quick method of contact with me. Now, remember I did say "simple" cellphones; I don't believe a little kid should grow up unhealthily attached to technology (like me lmao), so especially in developmental years, I wouldn't want my kid to be glued to their phone playing games or roaming the Internet too freely. What was the last lie you told? I'm not sure. Is there anyone in particular you always try to tune out? Ugh, yes. For political bullshit that I cannot stand hearing. Do you work out? No. What was the last thing you ate with a spoon?  Uhhhh probably oatmeal. What is a food that you always are in the mood to eat? Ice cream lmao. Ever held a newborn animal? Yeah. Is there anything you’re in denial about? What? Maybe, idk. Have you ever been to a Chinatown? No. Do you prefer chunky or creamy peanut butter? CREAMY. Don't come near me with chunky pb. Do you stop to pick up heads-up pennies? No. Do you make a wish when you blow out your birthday candles? Yeah, even though I don't believe it does anything. It's just for the novelty of it. Do your pets have collars? Describe them: Bentley just has a blue, average collar. Roman doesn't because he absolutely hates them. What is the last thing you searched for online? Surveys. Do you use any scented lotions? What do they smell like? No. Do you have any friends that speak any languages you don’t understand? I mean yeah, Spanish is common in America.

[fastxandxtardy]

///Out of Speed///

Gotham season 3 episode 14: The Gentle Art of making Enemies

I’m going to say one thing before I put spoilery things under the cut

This episode is the reason everyone should watch Gotham for. This, this is just IT. This was AMAZING and makes all the shitty episodes worth it. Gotham has had really good episodes before, but this one is phenomenal and I was completely speechless. 

Now on to my massive fangirling.

JEROME FUCKING VALESKA 

I knew it was going to be a good one because Jerome was in it, but jfc it’s like Cameron’s performance gets better each and every episode we see him in! How is that possible?!

David Mazouz also gets all the awards, all of them. He was brilliant and you could really see Batman in him. It gave me the chills and the last scene with him and Alfred about the Batman philosophy brought tears to my eyes.

Nygmobblepot was fucking heartbreaking. Oswald ;  ; he really loves Ed, was willing to give up his life for him. And Ed didn’t expect that. Oswald defied all odds AND HE STILL FUCKING SHOT HIM! I need a seperate post to talk about this because jfc.

But he can’t be dead, right???? The Penguin cannot be dead. 

Fucking Valeyne interaction tho! Fuck they have so much chemistry and yes I hate myself for thinking that. Remember how I said that I would not ship them other than platonic? I need to keep repeating that as a mantra in my head. Bruce is like 15 or 16. Underage. And Jerome is 18. So, nope nope nope, can’t go there. 

I assume Jerome is still 18 because he’s been dead. Otherwise he would have been 19 probably. But his body was frozen, so technically he’s still 18. That’s my logic anyway.

Even worse is that Jerome is absolutely bonkers and cruel.

But DAAAAAAAAMN, I loved the shit out of the first line he said to Bruce.

“My my, look how big you’ve gotten!” with that crazy ass grin that’s somehow unfairly hot on his stapled on face. How does he do it? How?

OMFG Jerome! Do you know how much trouble they went through to get that thing from the Court of Owls!!! I shouted when it shattered. Hopefully they can still fix it. 

“It’s been nagging at me ever since I woke up. The idea of slitting that pretty pink throat of yours.”

FUUUUCK, Jerome, don’t say those kind of things!

And Bruce BLUFFING, seemingly judging Jerome for wanting to kill him without any flair and egging him on, playing on his ego! OMFG that was amazing! Jerome realizing Bruce was trying to manipulate him but going along with it anyway because he makes a good point. You have to love how he’s rather vain when it comes to things like that. The thing he accused Dwight of; having no charisma or stage presence. He really finds that important. He’s so theatrical heeeee.

But his whole demeanor during that. Like he was first being all crazy eyed and about ready to kill Bruce, keeping that pose like that for a bit and then him rolling his eyes and turning away going “Ooh whadda ya mean?” And Bruce just kept being stone faced the whole time. You go, Brucey! I really love how he’s grown and am so so proud of him. Last time he was cowering in Jerome’s grip. That’s only about a year ago!

I loved everything about that scene. I’ve rewatched it on YouTube so many times I know it by heart. 

That murder circus/carnival cite. How fucking terrifying was that? I’d seen glimpses of it during the white band trailer of course, but now I realized what it was all about. They were killing innocent people on every attraction. 

The whole thing with “Face it, kid. Gotham has no heroes.” and then when Jerome is about to throw the ball, Bruce pushes him. YES! That right there already showed that Bruce wants to be a hero even if he doesn’t fully realize it himself yet. But Jerome does (with his later line of “You wanna be a hero?!” in the mirror maze.

The poor guy gets killed nonetheless and that was a gruesome scene ick.

BUT THEN omg, when Jerome puts the staples in Bruce’s arm after he mocked him, you can SEE that Jerome is intrigued when Bruce only briefly blinks his eyes but doesn’t make a peep. His brow furrows the slightest bit in confusion, disbelief. He’s amazed that this kid isn’t immediately crying out in pain and realizes there’s more to him than meets the eye. After the second one, he sees it as a challenge, and he’s pleased when Bruce pleads for him to stop at the third one. But jfc, two staples were put in his arm and there was only the blinking of his eyes. I was super impressed. Also, because Batman moment! I love it whenever Bruce shows his inner Batman and we haven’t even gotten close to the best part of Bruce’s scenes yet. 

Jerome as a ringleader? Hell yeah. I loved the white straightjacket like suit on him more (it was super hot ngl) but I have to admit the ringleader suit was a lot more Jokeresque. 

Jerome slapping his own ass.... *died* He’s a showman, alright.

I was appalled by all those people cheering for Bruce’s death though. Like jfc, that’s a teenager! You’re rooting for a teenager to be killed in a terrible manner! How can you people live with yourselves?! I get that they want chaos and anarchy because Gotham as a city... I wouldn’t want to live there either. Look at kids like Selina. They’re completely left to their own devices! No one cares about them. How horrible is that?! But these cult members are horrible too for wanting Bruce to be killed just because he’s an elite. 

The little murderous shit waved goodbye at Bruce with a grin after he lit the fuse! What a troll! I can’t even. I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry at this part because daaamn that’s so cruel but also so Joker.

I was panicking so badly when Bruce lost that first staple and the fuse was almost up. The desperate look and sheer panic on Bruce’s face (again all the kudos to David Mazouz) completely sucked me in and made the rational thought that it’s impossible Bruce Wayne dies fly completely out of the window. 

Thank you, Selina for teaching Bruce streetkid skills! I’m assuming it’s Selina that taught him how to pick locks during his stay with her on the streets. That saved his life. 

“Oh Bruuuuce! Where are ya, boy?  Come on out boy. I won’t hurt ya!” Yeah right. No one believes that coming out of your mouth, Jerome...  And then when he saw him running into the mirror maze: “Bruce, darling... “ WHAT?!  How can we not ship that? Please tell me how we’re not supposed to ship that? Because even with the shipping being platonic, some people are like omg that’s disgusting! But look at that writing! (which I love)

BATMAN! Sorry, but even without the suit and cowl, Bruce was so Batman in the mirror maze scene. First of all, he lured Jerome there and used the confusion of the multiple mirrors to his advantage. And the look on his face, it was just on point. That serious, intense Batman stare/glare, he had that down. This whole scene was my absolute favorite Bruce moment in the whole episode. Maybe even the whole show.

The whole moment where Jerome giggles at himself and goes  “I have to tell ya, *giggles some more* This is way more fun than I was expecting! We make a good team you and me.”  I was squeeing and holy shit, how much did he sound like Mark Hamill there? Amazing!

“Let’s do this mano y mano, my little conquistador.” I have no idea what that means lol. But I’m guessing it’s something like let’s fight this out as real men and I loved how he said “my” I’m terrible...

TACKLE!!! 

“What kind of hero tackles someone from behind?!” lol Batman does! And ouch then Bruce got a kick to the face, but that’s about the only hit Jerome got in because daaaamn that training really paid off!

Jerome, your fighting skills suck. I also loved how he was treating the fight in such a silly way at the start. I’m not sure WHAT exactly he’s saying when he’s ridiculously pumping his fists up, but I think it’s “Put ‘em up! Put ‘em up!”

He heavily underestimated what Bruce was capable of LMAO

My heart stopped when Bruce seemed about to kill Jerome. (You can’t really blame the guy, he thought Alfred was dead) Not only because, you know, Jerome can’t die again!!! But also because Bruce is a good person. I wouldn’t want him to kill anyone, and it’s Batman’s biggest rule. Not to kill. 

So I breathed a massive sigh of relief when he didn’t. 

Jerome’s face starting to come off was really really gross though. It’s then that you realize that part of it is nothing but dead skin now. Gross. I wonder if they’re going to do plastic surgery on him or something. Because there is no way his face can heal by having part of it stapled on like that. I know little to nothing about medical things, but that seems logical to me. 

Alfred and Bruce reuniting really made me emotional. It was such a heartfelt moment. 

Jerome just had to go and interrupt that moment. Fuck I was so scared Jim was going to shoot him!

But instead he punched his face off.

Ew. 

I love Jerome, but... a lot of blood squicks me and seeing an almost entirely bloody face (or non-face I guess) made me shudder. 

BUT HE’S ALIIIIIIIIIVE YEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!

The point I made in the former post still stands however... how is Jerome not going to be obsessed with Bruce Wayne as a person now? He defeated him, showing how worthy an adversary he is, but also made Jerome have a lot of fun at the same time, challenged him. I’m also pretty sure that in the moment, Jerome wanted Bruce to kill him to prove his point that everyone can be pushed to kill someone. He was cheering him on to kill him. Bruce defied him at every turn. It would seem really unbelievable if Jerome were to simply forget about him after all this... Even if he at some point realizes it was stupid to want him dead in the first place (That was something Galavan wanted him to do after all and he clearly and understandably hates Galavan for betraying him. So why does he want to carry out his will?)

I wonder how the writers will deal with it. Unless by the time Jerome is free again, Batman’s out to play already, and Jerome officially becomes the Joker. Which would admittedly be awesome. David Mazouz proved that he is more than worthy of taking up the cowl one day. In my opinion, anyway. The only problem being he’s still a bit young.

Maybe next season we’ll see Jerome in Arkham having his interaction with Harleen Quinzel (since apparently we’re going to see a glimpse of her in the last episode this season) and maybe even with Mad Hatter (though I hate that creep for his incest behavior) and Ed! (if he gets caught this season) While Bruce continues developing and figures out what he wants to do with everything he’s learned. Maybe he’s still dealing with the Court of Owls too if that doesn’t get resolved this season. That gives him another year to grow and we’ve seen what one year can do already.

Maybe Jerome even leaves Gotham for a while after he’s escaped Arkham. Who knows. 

I really wouldn’t want a time jump and then a different actor playing Bruce. No way.

If they are going to go as far as having Batman on the show, that is. Originally that wasn’t the plan, I believe, but to me that seems a shame. They have an actor who undoubtedly will be able to pull Batman off, they have the perfect future Joker, the chemistry between the two is already there even before they are Batman and Joker. What more could you want? Personally Gotham interests me a ton more than the DC movies. And Jared Leto’s Joker... so far he hasn’t done it for me. Harley Quinn is awesome, but Joker... eh.

Okay back to the actual episode now. The last thing I want to talk about (I might make an other post for all the Nygmobblepot stuff. I’m not sure yet) Alfred and Bruce’s talk in the aftermath of what happened. Bruce being so damn mature and again, showing his inner Batman. With how that even though there is a fine line between justice and vengeance, like Alfred said, it doesn’t mean there isn’t one and Bruce doesn’t want to cross that line. He completely gets it. 

The moment Alfred mentioned rules, I was already smiling. It’s like I already knew what was coming. 

“Rules you cannot and will not break.”

“I will not kill.”

CHILLS! The way he said it and then repeated it, the determination and expression he put in it. Even just thinking about it is making me shiver again. Brilliant. If he wasn’t so young, I’d be in love. 

Aaaand that’s it. I’ve rambled on enough about Jerome and Brucey LOL. I’d be surprised if anyone actually read through all of it X’D. If you did, congratulations! But seriously, if you like the whole Batman franchise, you’re definitely missing out if you don’t at least watch the episodes Jerome is in. I know a lot of people are super hung up on the fact that the Joker isn’t supposed to have an origin or name and blah blah blah. But Nicholson’s Joker had a name too. Jack Napier, anyone? And no one seemed to mind that. 

And you have to see Gotham as its own thing. A different spin on the Batman mythos. The characters are portrayed wonderfully and really worth the watch. The first season is really slow, I admit that  but once the show finally got going, found its pace, it kept getting better. I understand why it was so slow. The first season was where they had to start building everything up so that after that they could focus more on the individual stories of particular characters. 

I’m personally glad I didn’t give up on it. Especially now that Jerome is back. They didn’t kill him off this time. We will be seeing him again. Even if we have to wait another year for it. Soooo... 

[memythoughtsngene-blog]

Eugene I don't get it. I really don't get it. You say you want me but can't even find a moment to reply to me. I don't get how everything circles back to you though- I can't escape you. Everything is telling me I belong with you. I keep getting these signs and cryptic messages, and it all leads to you yet you hardly give me the time of day. I tried to move on last summer I really did because it was so lonely waiting for you, but I couldn't. I just couldn't bring myself to go past a first date. You're the only one I want to be with. You ignore me so deliberately, but I still can't help but tell you everything I feel. I don't even know if you read them, I don't know if you even care😏, but I can't stop. I can't let you go, and it's killing me because sometimes I think if you can't even take a few seconds of your time to respond to me, can you really ever be there for me? I mean if I really needed you? I don't know. But I'm sure about this, I was born to make you happy. Not one day goes by that I don't think about you, not one babe. Not a single one. Every time I have the urge to text you, I have to use all my will power to refrain because I feel like a stalker at times lol...like now lol when you don't respond, but I keep sending you these novels of text. I'm so unbelievably insane about you, so badly it kind of pathetic but I don't care lol 😂 I mean I made a whole tumblr blog dedicated to you-which I'm sure you likely didn't read when I sent you the link but that's just me in a nutshell- a hopeful romantic, hopelessly in love with you. I didn't want to tell you that over text but I just couldn't hold it in anymore. Besides I've pretty much said it in every other way possible lol plus you don't leave me much of a choice. I miss you more than you'll ever believe babe. There's not a single moment in a day when I don't miss you. My heart aches and my head is lost. I miss you when I wake up, I miss you before bed, I even miss you in my dreams. I miss your smile, the touch of your hand, your breath on my neck, ugh the sound of your laugh. I wish you were always by my side. I wanna get lost in your eyes and sound of your voice every day Eugene. I just can't handle the pain of being away from you anymore. Gosh if you only knew how much those little moments with you mean to me...

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #231

too lazy to even think of song lyrics to put, just have this

Do bridges make you nervous? Somewhat. Are there any movies that you find so dumb, you find funny? Aha, Napoleon Dynamite. Do you have any older siblings? Four + one I don't know. How often do you vacation? Pretty much never. Are you currently having any cellular problems? My phone is ACTUAL horse shit. Have you ever tried to meet up with someone from online? With Sara, multiple times now. :') It'd be fantastic if when I go to South Africa I can meet Shaylee when I visit to the KMP, and my other friend Alyssa knows how badly I wanna meet Mark, so she insists on me going with her one day if he ever goes back to PAX East. I'd love to meet Connie, too. If you could have any car right now, what would you want exactly? Eh, I don't know car types. Something medium/smallish (I don't want very small for safety reasons) that's either burnt orange or red and just pretty and sleek. Do you think it’s cruel to leave a live fish to die in an ice box? Um???????? YEAH????????????????? Have you ever done anything sexual with someone of the same sex? Yeah. Do you collect issues of a certain magazine? No. Have you ever pawned anything off at a pawn shop? Nah. Do you have stomach abs? Ha, I wish. Do you know anyone who is trying to physically impersonate a celebrity? No, but oh my god, so my friend Leon, right? He looks UNCANNILY like Leon Kennedy (WEIRD name coincidence????) from the Resident Evil series so much that he dressed as him one day. The resemblance is fucking unbelievable, especially when his hair was longer in the front. Do you have the Bakery Story app? Haven't heard of it. Do you watch Sister Wives? Haven't heard of that, either. How do you feel about polygamy? It's definitely not for me, but if it's KNOWINGLY between a consenting, happy group of people, you do you, man. Just hardcore practice safe sex. Have you ever seen a shuttle launch? No. What would your parents say is the worst thing you’ve ever done? I haven't got a clue. I'd assume Mom would probably say me texting her "fuck you" even though she deserved it. Dad, probably the letter I wrote him after the divorce. Are we having signs of the apocalypse? I don't even remember the Biblical signs besides like, swarms of locusts and humanity's focus shifting to materialism. I say rather we're having actually scientific signs of a mass extinction coming in the next few centuries, probably, or sooner. Historically, we're extremely overdue for one, anyway. Global warming, the ozone, overpopulation, pollution... you know, all that jazz. We're killing the earth. Would you rather see The Blue Man Group or Fear Factor live? Blue Man Group. Do you have any vintage clothing? Man, I wish. Are you glad to accept any certain person’s hand-me-downs? "As long as it fits and it’s like, clean, I guess?" <<<< This. Have you ever bought anything at Rue 21? Yeah, I like that store. The graphic tees section, at least. What color of colored contacts would you like to have? Like, purple or something. NO, cyan. Gimme a Manson feel. What’s on your bed? Me, Teddy, Roman, my laptop and mouse, my pillows, sheets, blanket, phone... Your floor besides furniture? My bookbag and purse. Wires. Shoes. Your dresser? My meerkat collection, along with some other plushies. The top shelf in your closet? I have no clue. Are there any dead stuffed animals in your house? Uh, you mean taxidermy? No. I am viciously against hunting "trophies." HOWEVER, I'm deeply into vulture culture and have mixed feelings about making art of NATURALLY deceased wildlife... A part of me says that's disrespectful, and then the other says it's very honoring and respectful, to immortalize an animal's beauty as art after experiencing a good life. It's something I semi-want to get into, but again, I'm torn on my thoughts about it. Do you know anyone who goes fishing, but doesn’t like fish? Do you mean like, eating fish? I'll fish with Dad if he invites me (I otherwise stopped as I don't support it if not necessary for food, but this has always been my and Dad's "thing"), but I hate fish as food. If you mean they don't enjoy fish as animals, I don't think so. What’s the best prize you’ve won on an amusement park/carnival game? I don't have a clue. Have you ever done anything sexual in a school? No, besides simple kisses. Have you ever been indoor skydiving? No. Would you have any interest in going on a cruise? No. Being out in the ocean scares me. Have you ever been to a Chinatown in any of the cities you’ve been to? No. How old was the oldest person you’ve dated? Maybe like, five years older. Do you know anyone who has their own podcast? No. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. How many children do you want, and how did you decide on this number? None. I decided because 1.) I would be a terrible mother, 2.) I'm not putting anyone's well-being above my own ever again, 3.) I'm not dedicating the remainder of my life trying to raise someone who might end up not even caring about me, and 4.) they're fuckin expensive and I've been poor my whole life and will do almost anything to keep my bills and expenses in general as low as possible. Where did your last kiss take place? The airport. Did you often read for fun when you were a kid? Oh, definitely. I loved reading. ^ What were some of your favorite books? Little-little kid books included Stellaluna, What Makes a Rainbow?, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, The Rainbow Fish, 10 Minutes 'Til Bedtime... a lot. As like an elementary student, I was really into the Magic Tree House and Hank the Cowdog series. Then in middle school, Warriors dominated my bookshelf. Are you more of a visual learner or an auditory learner? Visual. Do you have any dietary restrictions? No. Do you prefer Google Maps, Apple Maps, Waze, or something else? I've never used any. What is your favorite coffee brand? N/A What is your favorite tea brand? N/A Have you ever worn false eyelashes? No. I probably only will for maybe my wedding. How old does someone have to be for you to see them as an adult? 21 I guess. Do you ever ‘manspread’ when you sit down? Uh. I actually don't know. I don't pay attention. Which of your good habits has made the biggest positive difference in your life? Coming to understand I have to put myself first, probably. Or learning how to talk to myself gently. Have you ever dated someone who was very lazy? No. Have you ever turned down a job offer? No. Have you ever been fired from a job? No. I always quit too early for that, really. Do you overuse smileys? I don't think so. At least not anywhere near how I did as a pre-teen in the "LOL rANdoM!!!!!! XD" phase. Who is better; Madonna or Blondie? Idk. Who is better; Elton John or Billy Joel? BILLY!!!!!!! Name three website you visit every day: YouTube, Kalahari Manor, and deviantART. Have you seen all of the Jaws movies? Tyler and I watched the first one. I don't remember what I thought about it, really. Have you ever worn black eyeliner? "Yeah. That’s the only kind I wear." <<<< This. Have you ever worn blue mascara? No. That'd look weird on me. Hm, or maybe not. Maybe it'd bring out my blue eyes. Ever spiked your hair? No. How long have you had a computer? I don't have a clue. Have you ever written something, and published it on the internet? Well yeah? When was the last time you played cards? (not on the computer) Hell, forever ago when I was at Colleen's with Girt and we played CAH. Can you play chess? Nope. When was the last time you read a book over 700 pages long? Shit man, no clue. I don't know if I ever have. Have you ever drank cherry Coke? GOOD STUFF Do you prefer using pens or pencils? Pencils, considering you can erase. I avoid using pens if I can. Have you ever skipped for a long distance? Maybe as a little kid? Are you excited for the holidays? Halloween was disappointing, as I did absolutely zip. I honestly don't care about Thanksgiving. We always just go have dinner with Ashley's bigot in-laws. I'm VERY hyped for Christmas 'cuz I'm probably gonna be with Sara!! Can you play any instruments? I played the flute for years, but I don't think I could remember how to now. Are you a Facebook addict? Nah. Are you afraid of stink bugs? YEAH. I hate beetle-like insects. Do you have a printer? Yeah. Does anyone own any embarrassing pictures of you? HAHAHAHA I HOPE SHE DOESN'T STILL HAVE IT, MY FRIEND ONCE TOOK A PICTURE OF ME IN THE MIDDLE OF EATING A HOT DOG AND I JUST REALLY HATE IT. Do you still live at home? Yeah. Are you currently enrolled in college? Yep. Do you care what others say about you? Way too much. Have you ever played Farmville? No. What is your favorite video game? Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus. What song represents your life the best? "Get Up" by Mother Mother makes me think of myself A LOT. Are you into anime? Yeah. Name one movie that has made you cry more than once. The Notebook. Always. Do you watch the Disney Channel? Not anymore. Do you swear? Way too much. Do you overthink things? You wouldn't BELIEVE how much I do. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? A fuckin ginormous black lab until Ashley moved out. He wasn't even full-grown. Do you own any kind of helmet? No. What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? As a kid, I was running on the gravel road and slipped and fell. I scraped my knees to the point of pus coming out. It took a loooong time to heal. I cried SO fucking loudly. Bad, bad memory made only worse because Dad got so annoyed by it that he yelled at me to shut up. Happy beyond words he changed so much after the divorce and stopped drinking. What is something you like to have conversations about? MARK and other YouTubers I love to an unreasonable height, meerkats, vidya games I enjoy, RP, bands I love... What all is in the trunk of your car? I don't have a clue. Do you ever put fruit on your cereal? EW no. I hate that shit. How do you usually celebrate your favorite holiday? By doing nothing, lately. I don't have anywhere to go, so no point in even dressing up. Plus I can't afford costumes. When was the last time you drove something other than a car or truck? Uh. I have zero clue. Have you ever eaten/drank something and then realized it was past the expiration date? Probably at some point. Do you own any jewelry containing your birthstone? I have an amethyst angel pin from my grandmother. When I was in high school and going through my most suicidal phases, I wore it on my shirt underneath my hoodies. What is something unusual that annoys you? Hm. Well, I think this resonates with a lot of people at least to a mild degree, but it really angers me when people don't put their shopping carts back and just sit them in/by a parking spot. Fucking lazy as hell. Does mind over matter work for you? Rarely. What was the last thing you were invited to? No clue. Well, besides the obvious things like my niece and nephew's b-day parties, I don't know. What item should never be shared? Stealing the last person's answer: your toothbrush. What do you usually order at Taco Bell? A cheese quesadilla and fiesta potatoes. Sometimes the cinnamon delight things instead of the potatoes. Have you ever sat all the way through Gone With the Wind? No. Does drinking alcohol make you act more like your true self? I don't know if it's my "true" self, but I'm more extroverted and calmer. Have you ever googled a name and found somebody? Uhhhh so this is probably so incredibly creepy, but I jumped through hoops finding Jason's landline a few days before my suicide attempt because I was absolutely desperate to talk to him. It was in the dead of night and his sweetheart mom picked up and spoke with me for like two whole hours trying to calm me down. Jason was asleep, apparently. I miss that woman. She was so patient and gentle that night. Okay I'm honestly getting pretty emotional recalling that night so MOVING ON. What is your favorite possession? My iPod, really. I've had it since middle school and has 1k+ songs on it that I, like an idiot, am too lazy to back up... soooo when it dies, which it's WAY overdue to do, I will probably tear the world in two. What makes you feel like you are young again? Laughing hysterically. Especially when I do this little squeaking sound. Girt pointed it out all the time and since then I've actually paid attention to it and it's fuckin cute tbh. Are you picky? You. Don't. Even. KNOW. You have one wish, what would it be? World peace. How tall is the person you like? Shorter or taller? She's just like two inches shorter at 5'2''. How tall was the tallest person you’ve dated? Fucking hell, Girt was AT LEAST 6', I'm sure taller. I only reached his chest. How many foreign friends do you have? Oh boy, plenty. Well, I'd say most are acquaintances, but still. I've been on the Internet too long. In which countries do they live? European countries and Australia are the ones I know off the top of my head. What was your dream birthday party as a kid? Hmmm, probably going skating with my friends. What’s the most interesting story you’ve never told anybody? I don't know. What’s the most complicated meal you’ve cooked? Nothing. Have you ever come up with your own game? As kids, my sisters and I did a lot. What is something you value a lot in your life? Having a home, food to eat, a family that loves me... the basics that unfortunately many people don't have. Whose hand did you hold last? Sara's. What was the last thing you planted? Habanero peppers, I think. What or who was the last thing you gossiped about? *shrugs* When's the last time you helped a senior citizen somehow? Probably by holding doors open? What's the most selfless act you have done? Probably compromising my mental health to help others. I dunno. Have you ever intentionally fed a house spider? wtf no get out of mah swamp Are you clumsy? If so, how? I'm a newborn deer ffs. I bump into and trip over shit every day. How many Lidls are there in your town? None. I think. I think the closest is in the next town over. How do you like your favorite beverage? Cold and freshly opened 'cuz carbonation. Are you going to any concerts this summer? Ozzy Osbourne is very likely and I am NOT over it even though that was decided forever ago. Have you ever been to a concert? Once. What do you do when you can’t escape thoughts of your ex? I have PTSD from that relationship, getting away from those thoughts isn't a thing until my brain decides it's over it. Like I mainly just look for a distraction, but honestly, the only thing that seems to be truly effective is time or sleep. Do you watch any TV shows where the setting’s a hospital? I enjoy The Good Doctor, but I've talked about my disinterest in TV plenty. Did your first real significant other change you at all? HI HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE BREAKUP??????????????? Are you waiting to have sex until you’re married? Nah, not anymore. I broke that "promise" anyway through total cheat methods or whatever you want to call them, but I'm ultimately glad I thought I was obeying abstinence through that time considering honestly with how serious we were and how impulsive I was, I genuinely wonder if I would've wound up pregnant. Let's NOT IMAGINE THAT ROUTE. How many schools have you been to? Six. What’s your favorite color to wear? Black. Isn’t it lovely when your S/O smells good? I mean yeah, would anyone answer "no"???? Who’s your favorite actor? Mark is an official actor now don't even fuckin try me about this Who can make you laugh no matter what? *points up* + Sara and Game Grumps. Has a movie ever made you cry? Which one(s)? The Notebook, A Walk to Remember, Titanic, Old Yeller, The Lion King, Coco, Finding Dory, Johnny Got His Gun... man, a lot. I'm a baby when it comes to movies. Do you keep a list of movies you want to watch so you don't forget? No. What was the last song you heard for the first time and enjoyed? It was one of Highly Suspect's new songs. I think it was called "Snow White." What do you prefer -- the original fairy tales, or the Disney versions? Disney. Would you like more film adaptations of traditional fairy tales? Yeah, I enjoy them. Are there any comic books you'd like to see made into a movie? I don't read 'em. Are there any comic book movies you wish had been better? ^ Have you watched the Good Omens series yet? Thoughts? No. Who are some of your favorite female fictional characters, and why? Yrel from World of Warcraft is a fucking badass that needs to come back, I love Heather Mason from Silent Hill 3 with her being a realistic, relatable, and headstrong female protagonist that takes no shit, Bayonetta is my Mommy like have you seen that girl work (she served as some of my first evidence I wasn't straight, actually), I love Cynder from The Legend of Spyro saga with her personality overall and story... there's a lot I love. OH! Ellie from The Last of Us is impossible to not mention. It's beyond debate she's one of the toughest females in video game history, and it was interesting to watch her grow up in a post-apocalyptic world where horrors and tragedy were so normal. Something you didn't like that happened in one of your fave shows/books? GINGA DENSETSU WEED SPOILER: I will forever be livid Jerome died sobs I loved him more than I love myself. THE OUTSIDERS SPOILER: Dally's death devastated me. A character (in anything) you wish hadn't been killed off? Vol'jin's death in WoW was fucking stupid and entirely anticlimactic. Make the guy warchief & then Blizz doesn't know what to do with him and lets trash kill him, such shit writing, look guys I'm fuckin tilted about- What was the last video you saw that made you smile? Oh my god, I watched a clip of Shane Dawson at the Mall of America with Jeffree today, and he was physically in a state of shock, entirely speechless, and in tears. My lips were about to split my face in half smiling and almost crying. He deserves all he's getting right now beyond words. What's something exciting that's happened recently? A Heist With Markiplier was the best thing that ever happened to me ok. What about something upsetting? My grandma going downhill so fast. Cancer cells are now clearly visible in her blood. Do you have any calluses on your feet? So possibly TMI so look away, but I used to walk SO MUCH that my feet, especially my big toes, have the thickest calluses you could probably imagine. They bother me so much that I want to see whatever kind of doctor that can get rid of the damn things. Nothing I've ever done has helped get rid of them. I've CUT areas off in hopes of them going away, but it always heals BACK into a callus???? What was your last big purchase? Teddy's vet visit. Have you ever eaten grits? Grits are disgusting. What is the name of your YouTube channel, if you have one? 0zzkat. Do you wear the same shirt and shorts multiple times before washing? It depends on how long I wore the shirt and if I sweat. You'd never see me in shorts. What color is your favorite lip gloss? I don't use gloss. How many different states have you lived in? Just one. Are you allergic to bees? No. What color is the rim around your bedroom mirror (if applicable)? Black. What is your favorite flavor of saltwater toffee? I don't know if I've ever tried that. Have you ever vacationed on an island? No. What does your favorite bikini look like? Remember how I said you wouldn't see me in shorts? That goes even more for bikinis. What flavor was the last slushee you had? Strawberry limeade.