#so today I saw his marks turned white and was somewhat swollen and I wanted to cry in class.

[lost-my-sanity1]

:(

[yionji]

Hey,may I request where nanami is my stepfather.

Y/n is a brat and always when she comes home from school she pulls up her skirt and unbuttons her shirt,and she likes to call nanami daddy with double meaning then he decides to punish her,Thank you!

Omg hiii ^_^ thanks for made me do this,I hope u like it,also im trying a diferrent theme so...

A/n: I try my best, but also this could have grammatical errors ;;;;;

Tags:Cervix hitting,Slight mind break,stepfather,stepdaughter, fake incest(?),Blowjob,big boobs,huge dick,cum inside,arms fetish,deepthroath,face fucked,vaginal sex,thight pussy,dirty talk,humillation,in 4,cheating,moral denigration,true love,degenerate,poor grammar,rough sex,dub-con,slaps,male domination,angry sex,gagging,crying,blackmail,Dilf,school uniform,urination,inflation,breeding,happy ending,deep,belly bulge,virgin,punishment,semi passed out,body fluids,pet behaviour,choking,smut,daddy kink.

Pairings:Nanami kento x F!reader

He looked different from any other men your mom dated.

"my name is nanami kento,nice to meet you y/n"

 So handsome,

When you came home from university he was in his work suit without the jacket,he had folded his sleeves half way down his arms below his elbows,fuck,he looks so good his veins are marked and his hands are huge,long fingers,you could feel your pussy getting wet.

"y/n"

"Uh?"

"Your food is going to get cold,eat" said your stepfather.

"Yes,daddy" you smiled to yourself,crossing your legs.

Nanami just looked at you

It became a routine for you, seeing him all day long, you were so lucky, every day you had lunch together you were late on purpose so he could see you in the short skirt you wore with the long, tight stockings.

You loved that tired face and that look in his eyes. There were times when he cooked and when he did you hugged him from behind touching his belt or climbed on the table with a short denims.

Today you decided not to wear a bra, you arrived very late at night because you said you were going to a friend's house, the shirt you wore was see-through and tight, your mom wasn't paying attention to you because she was busy at the phone.

Nanami was staring at you, his toned arms were raised clenching his fist with his other hand.

He looked at your breasts, and looked up at you, you smiled innocently at him.

"Is something wrong, daddy?"

He sighed "I think I'll go to bed" he got up and left.

You were about to continue eating when your mom interrupted you.

"Daughter, I'm going out with some friends today, you know, don't tell your dad."

"What time will you be back?"

"Tomorrow at 12 pm"

This was your chance to be with him, you waited for her to leave so you can go to his room.

Before going to his room you changed into a long white shirt with no panties.

You went upstairs to, opened the door and he wasn't there, only the bed.

So you lay down, somewhat discouraged in nanami's place.

You woke up in the middle of the night because someone had turned on the room light.

"What, oh"

Nanami is there with his costume still on.

"Y/n, what are you doing?" he said firmly.

"I wanted to sleep here with you since mom left. Where were you?"

"I took your mother to the place she said she was going" as he closed the door to the room and took off his clothes.

He is so beautiful, his chiseled body and strong arms, long legs and big hands you are sure his whole hand was bigger than your face.

"Stop looking at me with that leering look of yours."

You smiled mischievously

"So you already know?"

"From the moment I saw you I knew, you're a whore."

"I didn't expect that, are you going to let me sleep with you?"

"You don't know what you're doing" he sat down next to you, you were still in your place.

He was wearing baggy gray pants and nothing else.

You spread your legs so he could see your wet pussy.

"You're such an asshole."

He ran his hands over your face, then he leaned in towards you.

"Once I start I'm not going to stop even if you tell me to, do you understand that?"

"Yes, daddy."

Then he climbed on top of you, kissing you very roughly, his tongue dancing inside your mouth, he knew what he was doing.

How am I supposed to put my dick inside her, I'm sure even my finger won't fit in there. Nanami think.

It was as if your stepfather wanted you to know how strong he was. He didn't even ask you,but he stuck 4 of his fingers inside you. It hurt, but you didn't want him to think you couldn't handle him.

He wouldn't take his mouth off yours, until he pulled his fingers out of you.

Your mascara ran, your lips were swollen and reddish and your eyes were crystallized.

He put his fingers inside your mouth.

"Lick them."

So you leaned your head back and began to do it, making lewd noises, he removed his fingers from your mouth, a trickle of saliva between them. He put your legs between his and started to pull down his pants, you didn't get to see the whole thing and you started to lick your mouth.

"It's not going in."

"You haven't seen it yet, how can you tell?"

"Are you stupid? I said it won't fit"

He was irritated and you could hear it in his voice.

You looked at him a little scared, he pulled up his pants, turned away from you and went to look for something in his closet.

While you were still trying to calm down.

"Shit, that wouldn't even fit in my mouth."

Nanami is furious with a belt in his hand.

He walks up to you and grabs you by the wrists tightly. "Don't ever talk to me like that again." He take off your shirt and he sat on the bed and pulled you onto his lap. "What are you doing?" you scream and he just smirk. "What you should have gotten a long time ago. A good old fashioned punishment. Are you going to act like a whore? Then you're going to be treated like one."

He ties the belt around your neck, closing the buckle on it.

As you kick your legs trying to get it off.

A part of you, however, is intrigued by what he is doing and doesn't want him to stop. "Stop moving bitch or I'll tie you to the bed."

You spit at him as he slaps your ass hard. You scream and squirm as he gives you several and you feel your ass turn red,burn and sore.

"Such a pretty shade of red." He murmur "Are you liking this?" He ask genuinely.

Your cheeks turn red. "You're doing fucking great." You gasp as the belt was choking you and he looks at you.

"I'll have fun with you tonight" you smile "Now let's start your punishment."

Did I hear that right? Start?

You drop your head as nanami gropes your ass.

"Good girl" he gives a few more swats on your hot ass before lifting you up next to him. " I've wanted this for so long. I just wanted to slap those silly punks and show them that you're mine,"

He mumbled before kissing you hard.

This was by far the best kiss of your life.

He removed the belt from your throat and you caught some breath,

until he grabbed you by the hair making you fall on the floor in 4, forcing you to stay in that position, you looked up to see a big bulge in his pants.

Nanami was pulling you by the hair towards his cock and you couldn't take your eyes off his bulge.

"What a slut I have as a daughter"

he lifts your face to the bulge and presses your head into it.

Fuck he smelled good, you felt like you were floating.

After that he pulls down his pants letting his cock out with a *plop*. It was big, long, veiny, with a curve and his head was big, standing up with a rock hard erection.

There's no way it's going in my mouth.

He strokes your lips with the head of his cock, you only have eyes on his cock.

He slaps you hard on the face.

"Don't take your eyes off my face."

as he knows how degrading this is and wants to make sure you don't try to hide. He keeps slapping you across the face as he stares into your eyes making sure we maintain contact,your cheeks were already red. Then he puts his cock back in your mouth,

"Don't ever look away again."

he starts to fuck your mouth hard. His cock was going in a back and forth motion the tip was not hitting your uvula, you can feel his precum on the tip of his cock as he continues to enter your mouth, a few more inches, with each thrust he was forcing more into your throat now he keeps his cock inside now as you start to choke and cry and try to pull back, he grabs you by the hair and forces you to stay still, you felt as if your jaw was going to open sucking such a cock then he pulls back and slaps your face hard with his hand.

"I thought I told you not to take your eyes off me, you can't even follow an order that easy" you hear as he gives you another slap and pushes his cock back inside you.

It makes him harder as you try to take his cock.

Your mind was dizzy you feel drool and saliva dripping down your chin as his rhythm quickens and you feel confused.

"Your pussy fluids are making a puddle on the floor y/n, like a dog"

you can't do anything but get aroused as his deep, panting voice couldn't be sexier. Feeling his hand holding you tightly and he continues to fuck your face as the tears fall to join all the drool.

You were wondering how long you had been with him since mom left, your knees were sore, your neck and jaw hurt. When he was about to cum?, your mouth could no longer contain his cock.

He let go of your hair and placed both his hands on your head. And you were you right, they were bigger than your face. He started to fuck your mouth even harder which made you kick and scream with his cock in your mouth, he ignored this and continued as if nothing happened, he let out a moan and pushed back on your head and you could feel the sweat on his pelvis with the tip of your nose, He pushed harder so that his cock filled your throat, the tip was no longer hitting your uvula, it was touching your esophagus.

Nanami dropped all his cum down your throat,with a slight moan,every drop of hot cum filling your mouth, but he still wouldn't take his cock out of your mouth.

"If you waste a drop, I won't do this with you again."

He pulled his cock out of your mouth and you watched as every centimeter slipped away.

With your body trembling, you tilt your head back trying to swallow all his cum, you know big cock means big balls.

Gagging noises came out of your throat as you finally swallowed all of his cum, he grabbed you by the neck and opened your mouth wide open, he wanted to make sure you weren't lying.

He picked you up off the floor and threw you on the bed. Your dripping hole didn't hold on to anything and you kept trying to sit up but ended up squirming like a helpless animal, but with no luck. That only made him hornier. He kissed you placing his legs between yours.

"I think you're ready now."

the wet tip found your tight hole and tried to push in, but you squeezed your hole as tight as you could, refusing to give access come on, it's big but you wanted so badly to fight one more time.

He grunted in annoyance, Use his powerful hands to grab the bottom of both your thighs, holding you open and still for him. You didn't want to pull back and without a second thought, you tried to wrap your arms around his neck as he held you over his lap with his hands gripping the back of your knees. He held you painfully open and you couldn't hold yourself tight any longer with the slick lips of your pussy opening before him and his hard cock.

. He was so strong that he held you casually with the strength of his arms without flinching one bit, and then his cock, hot and slippery began to enter you.

Your eyes widened and you shuddered uncontrollably, feeling his hot breath against your ear and cheek. You moaned loudly and as he slid deeper into your entrance, slipping between your tight walls, there was no way you could contain the primal moan that escaped you.

"No! A-Aaaah! What are you... doing to me? It feels good."

"You asked for this didn't you?" you already sounded shattered, he's hulking you clawed at his back and squirmed. His cock was wiggling like crazy inside your tight, soaking wet hole, pulling it out and pushing it back in from slapping against your cervix. It felt like a living creature all by itself. He let out moans and began to gyrate your hips, moving you any way he pleased and thrusting his veiny member in and out of you, simply pushing it back and forth from his pelvis.

He moaned in pleasure, the noise sounded somewhat strange to you. "I'm getting you ready for my seed, you silly girl."

" I'm really surprised. I thought your inside would be as soft as your outside. But ooo, oh..." He pushed the tapered tip to the hilt, the big head stroking and wiggling against your sensitive cervix, curling up to thrust hard into your sweet bundle of nerves, making you let out a long moan.

"You are much, much softer here. My daughter is so soft and pliable." You sighed in new ecstasy. You never got to enjoy degenerate pleasures like fucking and breeding.

The morbid pleasure coming off you was sweet but the gestures you made was too much for him,The aroma of your pussy juice dripping on his cock,he put his fingers inside you even with his cock inside you just to taste your juices,it was the closest thing to the taste of heavenly nectar.

At this action you just collapsed on the bed,his cock in your pussy pushed faster and swirled quickly inside you. Nanami's fingers rubbed and stroked your clit expertly and the crushing noises of his cock against your pussy grew louder as you grew wetter.

Tears rolled down your hot cheek, you began to feel that familiar tug at your core, forcing your walls to shudder around it. "I... I'm.... . C-..." Your words sounded choked, he began to choke you. Before you knew it, a blast of numbing euphoria crashed into you, spreading from your fucking pussy, through your legs and down to your toes .Your body relaxed and you were just breathing hard trying to catch your breath. "Hey" he says and you feel a hand grab a fistful of your hair to pull your head back wildly, making you scream in pain and surprise.

"Do you think we're done, Pet?" positioning his thumb on your lower lip. "My little bitch has to be thoroughly tamed. Your pathetic naughty little hole has yet to be molded and shaped by my desire. You are still too tight for what I want to do to you."

You were confused, even feeling a little scared again because you had just experienced the orgasm of all orgasms, nothing that masturbation or toys could experience, and yet somehow, Fuck, being with your stepfather was a sinful nightmare, but he was doing it so well.

Kento turned you over and lifted your ass. He bent down and approached your ear, moving your hair to the other side.

"Y/n?"

"y..yes daddy."

"You were virgin?"

Sobbing you tried to form a word and nanami's arm was around your neck.

"Yes, I was"

He kissed your cheek happy to be the first man to be inside you.

He turned you around and spread your legs. Your battered hole couldn't take it anymore and you struggled to close your legs gently but nanami squeezed the slits near your pelvis to open them wide again. He spit on his penis to lubricate it and masturbate before entering you. The sight of that was enough to give anyone a fucking heart attack.

You sobbed, and shook your head at him. "No, wait, don't come in," you pleaded.

"You already take it, of course you can now"

He made sure your legs were spread wide enough for him, he started by slowly pushing his head in once he entered, and with a push of his cock and a pull of your hips with his hands, his huge cock thrust into your pussy.

You screamed, there were no words to describe the feeling, it was too good, too much for your little pussy. You felt too stuffed, the pleasure was scorching. Nanami pulled your body down on his cock until the head slammed into your cervix, filling every nook and cranny of your defeated pussy. Nanami felt your wetness and heat envelop him completely. He let out a long, drawn out moan that echoed in your ear, taking a moment to savor the initial act of suddenly filling your Pet. Tears began to stream down your face unable to hold them back any longer. Your soft pussy was forced to hold it back, the lips of your cunt stretched to the limit to embrace and squeeze.

Nanami could not believe that the fragile form of a small, pretty stepdaughter could pleasure him in this way. He knew he was becoming addicted.

He pulled out until only the head was trapped inside you and thrust in again. The large mass at the tip of his head, a very faint but visible lump rose up and formed in your belly from your the area under your stomach. You could do nothing but feel his dick move and stroke you and, without warning, he moved forward, reaching deeper, causing your bladder to feel stimulated and urine a little on his penis, wetting it.

He pushed his entire cock inside you one more time.

"I'm going to come inside your uterus, y/n," sharply his own thrusts became louder as he tried to force as much of his cock into your pussy as possible,

"about to cum?, I can feel your pussy, you like my cock hitting your cervix, don't you honey?"

"goddammit,please daddy" his pelvis pounding your ass so brutally you wondered if there would be bruises, "are you going to cum, what a greedy pussy. I'm going to cum, fuck, what a tight pus..sy."

His thrusts were so deep that you could feel the semen shooting out of him.

The tip of his penis was able to open your cervix a little, he wasn't lying when he said he was going to cum in your uterus.

You could feel the semen shooting into your loins, mixing with the copious amounts of your fluids and sloshing around. You felt as if he was in your stomach, as if his cock had unloaded a load of cum directly into your belly and the pressure was immense. You screamed, your nails digging back into Nanami's chest as he groaned,your softened at the orgasm.

He pulled his length out of your pussy,and contemplated what he did.

"Wow, what a mess."

"D-daddy, ," you said with your last breaths.

He lay down next to you kissing your forehead. "You did great,baby"as he looked at you with a warm smile.

Your body was already tired, you just fell asleep with a smile on your face.

[luke-o-lophus]

Coming Back to Life (Part 3)

Part 2 can be found here

Sam Wilson, Indian/Desi Reader, Bucky Barnes friendship

Warning: This episode has mention of attempted sexual assault. Apart from that, canon-typical violence and injuries, and conversations regarding these. Mention of smoking. Do tell me if I need to add more warnings/missing out on any warning.

Bucky took another drag of his cigarette, his phone pressed to his ear. In the dying light of the day, Sam could see his silhouette where he was standing in the balcony. Sam was on his fifth cup of coffee, sitting on his couch and flipping through some magazine. He could hear snippets of the conversation.

“....still at Sam’s...not yet....dunno Stevie...yeah...no you don’t have to...’kay...love you too....don’t you dare...yeah bye’‘

Sam wipes the tiny happy smile off his face before Bucky can see it (he’d never let him live that down). But times like this make him think of those years. Wondering if he was a guy who should be saved, or stopped. And now here Bucky was, on a phone with his century old lover, worrying over a friend who was still sleeping nearly twelve hours since she came home. The situation today is far from ideal, but it’s still days like this that still give him hope.

“You should stay”, Sam tells him as soon as he gets back to the living room. They’d tried to wake you up once, for lunch. You’d just opened your eyes with a blank stare, cowering slightly. Then recognition had sparked a bit, but you’d rolled over and continued to sleep. 

Bucky lets out a noise between a hum and a grunt, pondering whether he should sit, or go check up on you. It was past six, and you’d really need food and another dose of medicines soon. Also the fact was, he wasn’t very good at waiting. Especially when you were passed out, hurt and prone, and he didn’t know why.

“I think we should try again”, Sam says with a sigh, dropping his magazine. Bucky shrugs in response but follows eagerly. The guestroom is dark, the last glow of dusk peeping in from between curtain flaps. Sam flips on the light, and does a double take.

You're in bed, yeah, but curled up on yourself. Eyes open wide and lost somewhere in the distance, an unnatural glaze in your dark iris. Bucky recovers first, and covers the two strides to your bedside. He calls out your name softly, and your response is squeezing your eyes shut. A hand gingerly touches your forehead. Bucky's lips fall open at the jarring temperature difference between his cool vibranium and your forehead. "Sam, she's burning up", he whispers curtly. You blink your eyes open to the sight of both of them hovering over you.

"Am fine..", you insist, your voice small and rough from sleep. You try to offer a tiny lopsided smile,"Hey Buck. When'd you come?"

"Around six...In the morning.", He swipes some locks away from your clammy forehead. "When'd you wake up, doll?"

You look away at that question and make a move to sit up. You're grimacing the moment you lift your torso off the sheets; Sam steadies you silently as you lean back on the pillows Bucky fluffs up.

"I'm sorry", you whisper to no one in particular. "I... Should have told you I had a mission." Your words are spoken stiffly with obvious effort, you tried not to move your lips as much as possible.

"We can talk about that later...", Bucky offers an encouraging smile. You close your eyes with a sigh, letting Sam replace the blanket with a thicker one.

Bucky makes a move to get up for a cool washcloth but notes Sam's figure go still. He turns and quirks a brow at his expression, and the other man makes a quick motion with his head towards your legs. Bucky's blood runs cold when he follows that gaze.

Your shorts have ridden up in your sleep and the exposed flesh of your calf and thighs were marred with long purplish marks. Of fingers, gripping too hard? Looked that way. But, could be something else too, right? A quick glance to your face, eyes closed and blank, and another glance at Sam's face that looks this far from tortured. And he knows, the same thing's going on in Sam's head too. Bucky storms out of the room.

"What the fuck, Barnes", Sam hisses. He's standing inches from him in his kitchen, Bucky's fists flexing in anxiety.

"You know very well what the fuck." Bucky seethes, his blue eyes piercing into Sam's brown ones.

"How 'bout we let her tell us instead of making assumptions?"

"We could call Natasha...Or Wanda...Maybe she'll..."

"Man, she doesn't know them well. She trusts you, a lot."

Bucky looks up at that comment, his eyes softening somewhat. "She trusts us, Wilson. She did choose your place to crash." And that could be the biggest compliment Bucky has ever spoken aloud.

"Guys?", Your small worried voice makes them turn swiftly, to the sight of you leaning against the door frame, sheets wrapped around your form. You take a tentative step, supporting yourself with a hand on the wall. "It's not what it looks like", you whisper, lips and body trembling. Maybe, fever...maybe, nerves. You weren't sure.

"Jesus Christ" , Sam swears. Walking over, he takes your hand in his and guides you to the nearby couch. "Grab an ice pack, Barnes", he calls over his shoulder. His fingers gingerly touch your cheek that was more swollen around the cut. "You didn't have to get out of bed, tiger", he soothes you in his warm voice.

"You were worrying", you argue. After a pause, you blurt out, "My mission was successful, but it didn't go as planned."

The couch dips beside you where Bucky sits; he's waiting for you to go on, ice pack forgotten in his left hand. Gentle strokes on your cheek have you look up to Sam. He is nodding, egging you to go on.

"It was simple", you shrug. "It was this rich white guy who runs an illegal weapons ring as a side business. Has connections with..Terrorist organizations, trafficking rings. Has location of important bases. And apparently a 'taste in exotic young women'. The last words are spoken with obvious disgust, makes both men clench their jaws.

"You're not supposed to go solo on stuff like this", Bucky chides gently, dropping the ice pack to the floor before he can unwittingly ruin it with a squeeze.

You wring your fingers, turning to face him. Sam pulls a chair to sit; Bucky's cold metal fingers cup your cheek in the gentlest hold possible.

"Wasn't alone...." You whisper breathlessly. The men share a glance and Sam speaks up.

"Who was with you?"

"Harry"

"Harrison Drew? Agent 35?"

"Yeah..."

"Where's he now? In the hospital or..."

"Home....I think"

"How's he faring?"

You suck in a breath, pulling back from Bucky's touch. "He's doing well, yeah", you say, your head hanging. Tears brim in your eyes, you sniffle, not meeting their gaze.

"Sweetheart, can you tell us what happened, please?", Bucky whispers. "Or do you want us to call Wanda or..."

"I can", you interrupt indigantly. "You know I tell you guys everything", your eyes shine with unshed tears when you look up.

"We know", Sam is quick to comfort. "Of course, but if.."

"I don't want...you to freak out. Or..I don't know...I know you care about me...I don't want to be the reason Harry...."

"What'd Harrison do?", Bucky's voice has a sharp edge.

"I'm...I'm sure it was a misunderstanding", you try to reason.

"Yeah?", Sam holds your hands to give a comforting squeeze, encouraging you to continue.

"Hmm...", You hum. "There's no other reason why he'd turn off his comms, right, and..."

"What?"

"Yeah and it was fully charged so it couldn't have run out. The plan was to seduce the guy and let him take me to his place..Harry would follow and download the data while I kept him distracted, then kill him and get out, but....."

"But?"

"Harry didn't follow from the bar...I thought he hadn't noticed we left. I tried to contact him...Send the emergency signal when we reached...I thought he was coming but...The guy brought over two more people...And...I..Kept up the game, tapping out the signals...He, he didn't..."

"What... the hell", Bucky whispers.

"How'd you get out, tiger?", Sam coaxes you gently. You swallow and blink, tears spilling out at that motion and drawing a wet line down each cheek.

"When they were....You know..You saw the marks right? I know you did. I knew I had to get out before they could...Do it. But my hands were tied up... this freaky game of theirs...And I...For a moment..." A small sob rips from your throat. "This was..Was stupid but...For a moment I really thought I wouldn't make it. I'd never see you guys again and even if I did...I don't know how I'd...And I hadn't even told you I was going and...No one was coming with help 'cause...They thought Harry was with me and..."

Bucky's face, the tips of his ears, they're red. He's fuming with guarded anger. Sam is still too, his eyes wide.

"But yeah...Long story short...I broke out before they could do anything else...And..You know the rest, all is well.."

"Where...Was.. Harrison?", Bucky's voice is dangerously low and even Sam glances towards him in concern.

"In...In front of the bar? He drove me here."

"And..He just gave you his jacket? That's all?"

"N-no...That was one of the target's...I felt..Like I needed more cover..."

Sam sighs deeply, rubbing his face and sending the other man a gaze that told him to zip it for now.

"Sweetheart...You know how serious that breach is, right? Even if we don't take action, what he did would warrant a suspension anyway. Maybe more."

"He..He said he'll fill the paperwork..And report..."

Sam balks at that. "He..Said that? He had the fucking audacity to suggest that?"

The two men watch you finally break down in heaving sobs. "I..I thought he cared..I thought he actually cared, I thought after this mission I might even...", You hiccup.

Your face crumples in pain and guilt and you choke on another sob. "I ...I wasn't thinking Sammy...I agreed to it...He told me in the car he'd do it and...I just couldn't argue...I don't wanna go on a mission with him again Sammy and..Oh god I..I just let him do all this to me..."

They let you cry. Bucky quietly wraps an arm around your shoulders and Sam's thumb strokes on your palm. They ground you, but don't ask you to stop, or say anything for that matter. You cry till the sobs have ebbed to sniffles, then all is quiet. When you come to yourself again, you're resting your head on Bucky's shoulder, and Sam is wiping the tears from your cheeks.

"You people...Have raised my standards in men", you attempt at joking. Bucky snorts, relieved to see you pull yourself together. His fingers stroke through your hair in slow soothing motions.

"Men are stupid, and irresponsible", he adds.

"You're a man, married to a man", you deadpan, making Sam chuckle.

"That changes nothing", Bucky huffs.

"You did amazing, okay?", Sam slides onto the couch on your other side. "You were strong, and damn brave. I'm proud of you." You give him a lazy grin, your eyes already closing.

"We'll deal with this tomorrow, rest up now. You're safe."

That word alone is enough to send you into peaceful slumber.

A/N: This was supposed to be a oneshot but it's turning into a series! Part 4 is in my head already!

[softspideys]

Say It Back

summary: peter is gone and you didn’t say it back

words: 2.1k

warnings: angst

pairings: peter parker x reader

a/n: the cure song referenced is “just like heaven.” also this is one of my first times giving angst a try so go easy on me plz:)

“Trust me,” Peter said, shielding the phone from you so you couldn’t see what song he was picking, “you’ll like this one.”

“I don’t believe you!” you said, trying to look over his shoulder. “That last one you played me was super weird.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault you’re an uncultured buffoon who doesn’t like the Talking Heads,” Peter said, holding the phone out of your reach. You were on the bus coming back from a field trip, and were passing the time by sharing headphones and taking turns choosing songs to listen to.

“You’re the buffoon,” you retorted, digging your fingers into his side to tickle him. He laughed, shrinking against the bus window to try and get away from you. The afternoon sun shone through the dirty glass and somehow still managed to make him look angelic.

You dropped your hands and he moved closer to you again, resting his head on your shoulder happily. “Here, listen,” he said as the song started to play.

You grinned, recognizing the notes. “The Cure, huh? Is there something you’re trying to tell me?”

“Nothing you don’t already know,” Peter said, smiling up at you in that earnest way of his. You squeezed his hand, feeling nothing but happy. It really had been a perfect day: at the museum, you’d been allowed to break off into pairs and explore on your own, so you’d walked around together and ate lunch outside in the sun. Peter rarely got to just be a regular teenager, but today he was silly and relaxed, and you liked it.

But of course, it didn’t last long.

Peter sat up abruptly, stiff as a board. “What’s the—” you started to say, until you saw the hairs on his arms standing up. He turned and looked out the window. You peered over his shoulder, stifling a gasp at the huge spaceship hovering above the city skyline.

“What the fuck is that?” you breathed.

Peter turned back to you, his eyebrows pulled together with worry. “I gotta go,” he said. “Mr. Stark needs me.”

“That looks really bad,” you said, glancing around the bus. No one seemed to have noticed it yet. “Please be careful.”

“I will,” Peter said. He leaned forward, reaching over the seat and patting Ned’s shoulder and face. “Ned, hey. I need you to cause a distraction.”

Ned, ever the loyal friend, took one look at the spaceship and began to scream. “We’re all gonna die! There’s a spaceship!”

Everyone freaked out after that, running to your side of the bus and pressing up against the windows to look. “Can you tell May where I went?” Peter asked quietly.

You nodded. “Yeah, I’ll let her know.”

“Thanks.” He leaned in and kissed you, pulling back to look you in the eyes. “I love you, okay?”

Before you could respond he was opening the window on the other side of the bus and slipping out, putting his mask on over his face. You heard the thwip of his web and then he was gone.

Later, while you sat on the couch in the Parkers’ apartment, watching May pace around and clutching a mug of hot chocolate that had gone cold, it dimly registered that that was the first time Peter had said those words to you.

It was also the last time you saw him alive.

* * *

You didn’t know how much time had passed between that last day. It all seemed to blend together now, morning bleeding into afternoon into evening into night, and the nights were endless. You’d been in a daze ever since, barely eating and never sleeping. 

Peter’s memorial service marked the first time you’d gotten out of bed since you got the news. May had invited you and Ned to sit with her, looking exhausted and broken in all black. You said yes, despite the overwhelming guilt you felt whenever you looked at her. You knew she didn’t blame you for not stopping him but you couldn’t understand why. Now she had no one.  

You stared at the large picture of him that they’d put at the front of the room since they didn’t have a body to put in a coffin. It was of his most recent school picture, the one you knew he hated because he thought he looked like a ten-year-old.

I didn’t say it back. I didn’t say it back.

That was the only thought that had been running through your head since that day. I didn’t say it back. Peter Parker had died not knowing that you loved him too.

You didn’t even realize you were saying it out loud, whispering it under your breath over and over, until May reached over and squeezed your hand.

“He knew, honey,” she said softly. “I know he did.”

And whether she was right or not didn’t matter, because Peter was gone and there was no way to check. I didn’t say it back.

Later, when everyone had left and May had retreated to the private area of the funeral parlor to lay down, you went back into the main room one last time. You were surprised to see someone standing in front of Peter’s picture.

It was Tony Stark, a man you’d never spoken to but knew a lot about. He turned around when he heard your footsteps, but didn’t say anything, not even when you stood next to him. He seemed to already know who you were.

The two of you stared silently at Peter’s smiling face for a minute before he finally said, “You must hate me.”

You knew you had every right to. All Peter ever really cared about was impressing Tony Stark, making him proud, being like him. It was the reason why he took so many risks and went after things he couldn’t handle. It was the reason why he had left the bus and gone on that ship in the first place.

But you also knew that Tony had believed in Peter when no one else did. He’d upgraded his suit to something better and safer. He looked out for him and cared for him like he was his own son. And he’d been there when Peter died.

So you shook your head. “No. I don’t.”

He glanced at you. “He talked about you all the time, you know. Couldn’t get him to shut up about you.”

Hearing that made your chest ache with both love and heartbreak. I didn’t say it back. “You too.”

“He was a good kid.”

“Yeah,” you agreed. You swallowed. “It’s just . . . it’s just hard knowing that I’m never gonna see him again. For the rest of my life.” I didn’t say it back. You’d never been able to properly articulate all the sorrow and anger that was consuming you before, but for some reason you knew Tony Stark of all people would understand.

Tony shook his head, closing his eyes. “It should’ve been me,” he said. “I wish it had been me.” It sounded like every word was causing him pain. 

You didn’t know what else to do, so you reached out and hugged him tightly. He went stiff with surprise, like he wasn’t used to being hugged often. Finally, his arms came around you and you stayed like that for a while, joined together by a boy who didn’t exist anymore.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

I didn’t say it back.

“Yeah,” you said quietly. “I am too.”

* * *

Your feet pounded against the pavement as you ran down the street. Your lungs were burning and you almost collided with several people, but you refused to slow down. You couldn’t, not when you’d gotten a text from Ned that was just two words, seven letters:

He’s back

Your heart had stopped when you received it, and without bothering to ask why or how you’d gotten up and left your apartment. You hadn’t even grabbed a coat, something you knew you’d regret later.

You ran the eight blocks from your place to Peter’s, pressing the buzzer over and over. The door clicked open without anyone answering through the intercom, but you had a feeling they knew it was you.

You didn’t even take the elevator, running up the stairs until you reached their apartment and knocked. The door opened seconds later and you came face-to-face with May. Her eyes were swollen and red, but she was smiling. “Is he—” you started to say, but the lump in your throat wouldn’t let you finish your sentence. She nodded and you felt your legs turn to Jell-O.

“Can I …” It was only then that you realized maybe Peter and May wanted to spend some time alone. “Do you … should I go?” you asked, suddenly feeling guilty. You’d already taken so much from her.

But she merely smiled bigger and motioned for you to come inside. “You’re all he’s been asking for,” she said quietly. “He’s in his room.”

Somehow, your feet carried you down the hall and to his bedroom. You couldn’t help but feel nervous, which was kind of silly. This was Peter, for God’s sake. But a small voice in your head whispered, what if he’s different now? You knew he probably would be; it felt like he’d been gone for years. But you also knew you’d love him anyway. You stopped in the open doorway and looked inside.

And there he was.

He was sitting on his bed, staring into space. He was wearing a green sweatshirt over a white shirt. His hair was a little curly, like he’d made somewhat of an effort to gel it and then gave up. His socks were mismatched.  A glass of what appeared to be chocolate milk sat on his desk. 

You could’ve stood there and watched him forever, but then he glanced up and saw you.

A beat passed as the two of you stared at each other. Then you crossed the room in two strides and practically collapsed on top of him, tackling him back onto the bed. He let out a surprised oof, his arms automatically coming around you.

For a second you just held him, feeling how solid and warm he was, his chest heaving against yours as he caught his breath. You couldn’t control the wave of sobs that came over you, but you didn’t really want to.

You didn’t even realize you were shaking until Peter’s arms tightened around you, steadying you. You pulled back to look at him, taking him in almost hungrily. Tears were tracing shiny paths on his face as he stared back.

“You’re alive,” you whispered.

He nodded wordlessly. For a brief second you wondered where he’d been, and then decided you didn’t want to know. He was here again and that was all that mattered.

“I—I was—” he started to say, but stopped, taking a shuddering breath.

“Shh,” you said, shaking your head. “You’re safe now. I’m here.”

Peter looked at you for a second before he reached up and, ever so lightly, touched your eye with his thumb.

“What are you doing?” you asked, confused.

“Counting your eyelashes.”

“Why?”

“’Cause when I thought I was never gonna see you again I realized I don’t know how many you have.”

A watery laugh escaped you. “I think on top we have between 150 and 200. On the bottom it’s between 75 and 100. Or is it 150? I think it’s—”

Suddenly Peter leaned up and kissed you, and it was like getting him back all over again. He was so very real, his hands cupping your face and his heart beating fast in time with yours.

“I missed you so much,” he said hoarsely, only pulling back a fraction of an inch to rest his forehead against yours.

“I missed you too,” you said. You swallowed, feeling tears well up in your eyes again. “I … all I could think about was that you were gone. And I didn’t say it back.” More tears were dripping down your face as you thought about it, feeling the guilt and grief threatening to suffocate you again.

But then Peter reached up, wiping them away. He’s alive. “You didn’t have to. I knew. I know.”

But you shook your head. “No. I love you. Okay? I love you so much. I don’t ever want you to forget.” You wished you had a CD player or something to give him, so you could record yourself saying it over and over and that way he’d have it forever.

“I love you too,” Peter said, his voice cracking a little. “M’never gonna leave you again.”

“That’s good,” you said, fumbling for his hand so you could kiss his knuckles. “Because I’m never letting you go again. Deal?”

And at last, Peter smiled. “Yeah. Deal.”

[killingxrangers]

It Started with a Like- Chapter Three

Zack was already on the roof of the old train, an open pack of Oreos next to him as he laid on his worn out leather jacket. The sun had set hours before, and Zack was just staring up at the night sky. It was too cloudy to see many stars, but he stared unblinkingly up into the dark. Something was going on with him, Trini could see that right away, and so she climbed up to the top of the train and sat with her legs crossed beside him, stealing the Oreo out of his hand. He didn’t even object- another sign something was off. 

“What’s up, man?” Trini ripped the Oreo in half, licking the white first before biting the mostly stale black part. Zack always made fun of her for wasting time breaking it apart when he just shoves the entire cookie into his mouth like the beast he is. When he said nothing she kicked his side lightly, leaving a dirt imprint in his black shirt. “Dude, c’mon. What’s going on?” 

“My uncle came today.” Zack missed the second half of school again today, leaving directly after lunch, giving Trini a vague answer in response to her questioning. Trini completely forgot Zack had an uncle on his mother’s side, a man a few years younger than Zack’s mom whom Trini had never met. As far as she knew, he’d never been to Angel Grove and has seen Zack less than a handful of times in his life. Trini could think of only one reason the man would come now of all times, and knew whatever Zack was about to say wouldn’t be good. “He told mom he thinks she needs to get put into a hospital for long term care.” Zack was silent for a moment aside from a quick sniffle before continuing. “There’s apparently a cheap one in Arizona, near where he leaves, that said they have room for her.” 

Trini’s throat tightened at the thought. What did that mean for Zack? For their friendship? He couldn’t leave Angel Grove, and his mother couldn’t go into a home. When she voiced her concerns Zack merely shrugged and rubbed under his nose. 

“I’m, uh, thinking about dropping out of school too,” he mumbled quietly, holding an Oreo in his hand but making no move to eat it. It seemed he just needed something to do with his hands while he talked. Rambled for like it, but Trini would listen. He needed to say this. “If I drop out I’ll be able to take care of Ma more easily, and could get a part time job at night while she sleeps. It’ll work out. Maybe then I can convince my uncle not to take her to Arizona.” 

Dropping out of school should never be an option, but for Zack... Trini could see the appeal. He barely went, and she had serious concerns about him passing this grade to begin with. His grades were less than acceptable right now due to frequent absences when his mother became too sick to be left alone. Trini isn’t surprised he’s considering dropping out. “You know I’m here for you,” she said slowly, never one used to comforting people. But this was Zack, and his lovely mother. She’d do anything for them. “If you need help with her, I’m here. You know that.” 

“I know. But, I don't need to drag anyone else into this. I just... need to focus on my mother. I can't do that when I’m dealing with the shitty teachers and principle at school. I think I’m gonna do it Monday, I don't know.” Zack shrugged, finally popping the Oreo into his mouth and chewing slowly. “Tell me ‘bout your girl.” 

Trini instantly felt her heart rate increasing at the thought of Kimberly Hart. The girl was by no means Trini’s girl (Trini’s anything, really), but she knew who Zack referenced despite not saying a name. Excitement mixed with confusion clouded Trini’s thoughts as she continued to picture Kim today in bio. That was their first time talking in person, and Kim was even more gorgeous up close and personal. Despite that, Trini felt highly uncomfortable and wanted to leave. She made it clear her desire to leave, and Kimberly either didn’t notice or didn’t care. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Zack had demanded to know everything that Trini and Kimberly talked about on their walk to lunch, but Trini hadn’t had much to say. They didn’t really talk about anything at all, mostly just Kimberly calling her gorgeous again. As Trini pointed that out to Zack, her phone vibrated once- an Instagram notification. This time she knew who it would be from prior to unlocking her phone. 

k.harteyes: Trino

k.harteyes: Trnii hi 

Trini_Gomez: Uh hi?

k.harteyes: Has anyone ever tpld you your gorgesu

“I think Kimberly is drunk.” Trini turned the phone so Zack could read the poorly spelled messages and the incorrect form of ‘you’re’. “Do I keep responding? Why is she even messaging me at all since she’s probably at a party or something.” Given that Zack and Trini weren’t exactly popular (or even friendly) with anyone else at their school it was unsurprising they weren’t aware of any sort of parties happening. Neither of them had ever been to a party in their life, though they weren’t complaining. 

k.harteyes: I need hell

k.harteyes: Help 

“Something actually wrong or is she just too drunk?” Zack’s eyebrows wrinkled down in confusion as Trini typed out a similar question to what was just asked. Type bubbles appeared instantly and both teenagers looked to each other in confusion once more. 

k.harteyes: Pick me up 

k.harteyes: Plz

k.harteyes: I dont likr it 

Trini_Gomez: Are you okay? Did something happen?

k.harteyes: Mark won’t leace me alnoe 

Trini didn’t know who Mark was, but given that Kimberly was most likely drunk at a party, Trini didn’t like the implications of what could happen there if he wasn't leaving her alone. She wasn’t sure where Amanda or Ty were (or if they’d be any help at all even if they were around), but she knew she couldn’t just leave Kimberly there. It didn't matter that they weren’t friends and barely knew one another- Trini couldn’t let a girl suffer drunk at a party when she could help. Zack seemed to have the seem belief when he read the message as he stood up and slipped his jacket on, holding his hand out to pull Trini up. 

“Find out where she is,” Zack said, both of them climbing down from the train. Apparently all thoughts of Zack’s mom and uncle were put out of his mind as he focused on helping Kimberly took over. He was a good guy at heart (a big doofus constantly), but he was much more than the boy who skipped school and hung around broken trains. It was a shame only Trini got to see this side of him, this loving and caring side that put others before himself, because she knew anyone would be lucky to have Zack Taylor in their life. 

Kimberly responded with a poorly detailed message that said they were someone in the woods near the old gold mine, which actually wasn’t too far from the old trains. There was a cliff not too far from here that Trini sometimes meditated on that overlooked the gold mine, but it was surrounded by acres of forest. It could take forever to find them. Trini messaged back asking for a better description, to which Kimberly in return sent a selfie of her. The picture exposed how drunk the girl truly was: her eyes were barely open, what white parts shown were red and watery, and her tongue stuck out between swollen lips. Trini wouldn’t let herself think of the implications of that detail, and moved on to the rest of the photo. Kimberly was wearing a white dress, or at least what looked like a dress from what the picture revealed, and her long and normally styled hair was disheveled. From sex or alcohol Trini didn't know, though she prayed it was the latter. 

“Look.” Zack pointed to a part in the back of the picture, a barely readable sign off to the side, somewhat hidden by trees. “Isn’t that the Gold Mine sign?” 

Trini couldn’t say for sure, but if it was actually that sign, then they knew where to go. Seeing as they had no other clues about where Kimberly could possibly be, they both looked to each other and shrugged, setting off in the general direction of the mine. It was better than nothing, but Trini didn’t have high hopes. 

The two of them had been walking for nearly half an hour, and were debating giving up hopes (as much as Trini didn’t want to leave Kimberly drunk at a party), when they started to hear the unmistakable deep bass of club music. It was coming from their left, and they only had to walk a few more minutes in that direction before they could see fire pits illuminating the area and the loud chatter of too many conversations at once. Well, they've found the party, now it was only a matter of time before they ran into Kimberly (hopefully unharmed). 

“Should we split up?” Zack had to yell to be heard over the thumping music, and Trini asked him to repeat himself twice before she understood and nodded. Half of their class was in the woods right now, and they’d cover more ground separated. The two wandered away from one another, keeping their phones in hand to make sure to answer any calls or text from the other. 

Trini watched as Zack went to the left, so she took the right side, passing many people she frequently saw in the school hallways. She knew none of their names and was pretty sure they didn’t know her’s either. Not that she ever cared, especially now given that her prime focus was on finding Kimberly. The text the girl sent her was slightly nerve-racking and right now Trini wanted nothing more than to find Kimberly and get her away from a stupid high school party. And away from whoever that Mark guy was that wouldn’t leave her alone.  

After walking for some time Trini finally saw Kimberly Hart sitting on the ground by one of the many small fires the, her back resting on an overturned tree. A beer bottle was in hand, mostly full, and the girl was focused completely on the fire. Trini refused to acknowledge the feeling of relief that overcame her when she spotted Kimberly. They weren’t friends by any means, just had a casual conversation sometimes, but Trini was still somewhat concerned about the girl’s safety. Kimberly didn’t react when Trini came to a stop beside her, and without even having said anything Trini could tell the girl was wasted. 

“Kimberly.” It took two more attempts of Trini calling her name before Kimberly responded, looking up with bleary eyes that couldn’t seem to focus on Trini. “You okay?” This was awkward, and Trini wasn’t completely sure what to do, and she had a million questions that she knew Kimberly couldn’t answer right now. Mainly what the fuck happened with Mark, but also why she was sitting alone away from everyone else. Had she gotten drunk and something happened, or did something happen causing her to drink afterwards? Trini wanted to know it all, but mostly just wanted to get Kimberly away from here. “Let’s get out of here.” 

“She’s going to hate me,” Kimberly slurred as she attempted to stand up, jerking forward so quickly that Trini barely had time to react to reach out and grab Kimberly. She wrapped her arms around Kimberly’s waist and had no time to process how toned her stomach felt through the t-shirt before Kimberly was hissing and flinching away. “Stop.” Kimberly swatted at Trini, missing her hands by a mile as she tried to lurch away from Trini’s grip. “Stop it.” 

Trini let go, taking a step back as Kimberly rubbed her stomach gingerly. She wobbled on her feet as she looked at Trini, who didn’t question it despite the anger coursing through her and said, “Let’s get out of here.” 

Kimberly needed help staying upright as they started walking the way Trini came from originally, a few people now looking at her as she had one arm around Kimberly’s waist. Neither girl paid any of their classmates any mind as Trini texted Zack for a meet up point, still attempting to hold in her anger at the thought of someone putting their hands on Kimberly. Kimberly stumbled over fallen branches every few steps, and almost took Trini down with her once or twice, but they finally reached where Zack was waiting against a tree, a beer bottle in hand. 

“Really, dude?” Trini glared at him as he came up on Kimberly’s other side, taking most of the weight from Trini as they started walking towards town. 

Zack shrugged the question off with a laugh and pointed with the bottle towards the gold mine. “We can cross through there and get to town quicker. No one is ever in there this late.” 

“Sounds good to me.” The sooner they got away from this piece of trash party the sooner Trini could relax. She couldn’t keep her mind off of whoever the fuck hurt Kimberly. “Let’s just cross and get this stupid night over with.” Like Zack said, the mine is always empty this time of night, and there wouldn’t be anyone there to run into as they got Kim home. Nothing could possibly go wrong.