#so to declutter i'm going to have another clean-up

[austerulous]

My follower count has been creeping up over the past few weeks and I’m starting to feel overwhelmed. This is just a heads-up that another soft-blocking spree is coming.

[balkanradfem]

So! I went home and found myself with hundreds of fall chores, no laptop, and no internet. I love my unpredictable, varied routine; first day back I went foraging for mushrooms and chestnuts, collected beautiful red apples for the kitchen and made my first fall mushroom soup. I cleaned out the fridge and the pantry and checked all my dried goods for moths. Then I headed back out, collecting conkers, walnuts, nettle - I actually had to go on a mission to find nettle! Half of it was destroyed by the flood; the other half cut by city maintenance. In the end I found some near the little house where a woman lives with six cats. I knew it was a cat lady because one time I spotted her coming home from the store, arms filled with bags, and all six cats ran to greet her with their tails up in delight. It was a lovely sight!

I don't think the woman used the nettle, it was strong and untouched, but when I sneaked by to get some, all six cat perked up and watched me. I've never been so observed by cats!

I was late this year to collect yarrow as well, and it would be unwise not to have it, since it resolves stomach cramps. Most of it was gone already, so I had to scour the fields and finally found some on a grassy path near a pumpkin patch. I'll be safe from cramps this winter!

Another big chore I had was to declutter my basement - I was stashing lots of donated clothing in there, and I need the space for all the zuchinni, pumpkins and potatoes. I gifted all the good clothing to the plant lady, and then had to figure out what can be used for sewing, and what was useless to me. This used to be an impossible task for me, because everything can be used somehow, I can sew with anything. And when you buy nothing, it's really hard to throw stuff away! You can't replace it. 

But this time I had a new distaste for microplastic and decided I would not own or sew with plastic materials. This easily got me rid of more than half the stuff! I tolerated stuff that was 95% cotton or linen, but anything completely viscose, acrylic or polyester got removed. This is of course, clothing I was not attached to. It's much harder to get rid of an acrylic sweater I happen to love. But! I won't be getting attached to another. 

I put all the nice stuff in a bag and left it outside for people to have. If they can tolerate it who am I to deprive them of it. I hope it can get used!

My next tasks are weeding out the garden, transplanting strawberries, sowing some celery and parsley, digging out potatoes, processing all the conkers and walnuts, drying and storing the mushrooms, trying to get rid of kitchen moths. (any advice on that?)

I'm having a good time running around doing various chores! The routine of normal people was driving me insane; every day was exactly alike, lots of sitting around, waiting for food delivery, then doing dishes and laundry. The store was the only place to visit! My quests for food bring me deep into the forests, looking for edible mushrooms, to the tops of hills for chestnuts, and quaint little houses with cats for nettle. Finding food outside is enrichment! I missed interacting with nature and roaming mindlessly trough the wilderness.

[simlicious]

Personal update about my anxiety

Time for another personal update! At the moment, I'm not really in a creative mood and my projects are all resting.

I am working on more stuff in my real life, including cleaning/decluttering my apartment and working through an anxiety app which will hopefully get me to start exposure (though I shudder at the thought alone). The funny thing is, the app is for social anxiety, and I do have some social anxiety, but I think I mainly have agoraphobia (but there is no medical app available for this at the moment, so I took the next best thing). The app said: "Let's make a gradual steps plan, you first choose a very easy step, then one that is a little harder and harder, and so on until the hardest step comes at the top." And for the easiest step, it actually suggested one of my hardest steps: going into a store, buying something, and interacting with the cashier. Checkouts give me such anxiety. I once had a full-blown panic attack because I couldn't remember the PIN number for my credit or debit card. And I very rarely get panic attacks. Luckily, my brother was present and he was able to pay for me while I almost hyperventilated and tears were streaming down my face. Generally, I start sweating and get shaky hands which does not help while handling cards and remembering pin numbers. I get tunnel vision and cannot focus on anything that is going on around me. Sometimes, blood rushes in my ears so I have a hard time picking up whether someone is saying anything. Then, all items need to be put into bags at lightning speed, and I always fear that I am not fast enough and that everyone else in line is annoyed and angry with me and this makes me even more nervous. Putting things away with shaky hands is tough! So I send my boyfriend shopping for me or buy online most of the time. If I absolutely must, I can go shopping with one of my loved ones because I feel a tiny bit calmer and know I have a safety net with me. They can also help me put stuff in my bags. But alone? That's nightmare fuel for me. Same thing with using public transportation, I just can't do it. I also have a very hard time sitting in waiting rooms at the doctor's office, I get so tense and do not know what to do with myself. Oh, and I also have severe anxiety when I need to make a phone call 😫 But all that is seriously impacting my life, as you can imagine. And I want to change something.

Since the app is not helpful with suggestions for my gradually harder steps to take, I have to come up with my own, and it is harder than I thought! All the things I think about are really hard for me, I cannot think of less hard steps to take 😣 Even just going outside without a destination/going out by myself is also anxiety-inducing for me. I feel like I am watched all the time, I get tense and my thoughts start racing or going in circles. This also happens while I am in a store to shop for something. I get paralysed sometimes with decision fatigue and if someone else comes into the same aisle, I have the urge to run away instantly. I get so distracted that I need to spend way more time in a store than usual and this is of course not making me calmer. I am just super exhausted after going shopping! I am proud that I leave the house twice a week now to go for a walk with my best friend though. We have just established a second day of the week this year, and we still do not go twice every week, but pretty often, which is great. And I love to walk in nature, it calms me (if there aren't too many other people around). 😊 I am also making progress with my borked sleep cycle. I am a night owl 🦉, but being awake the whole night clashes a lot with my family's plans. I have tried for months to shift it, but in the last one to two weeks, I actually made real progress and went to bed 2 to 3 hours earlier than normal, which is really huge for me! I found out that there are lots of free audiobooks on YouTube that authors upload themselves. So one hour before I want to sleep, I put one on, set a shutdown timer of 60 minutes so it will turn off after that time, and then go to bed and listen to it until I fall asleep. This has motivated me enough to actually go to bed earlier.

As a result, I get more daylight and I am more inclined to do housework, which I also struggle with in general, so this is really great! I am focusing more on that now. I also started playing Subnautica again, but I can only play for a few hours on end because it can get pretty intense. I kinda want to play Sims 4 again (weird, I know). My anxiety app wants me to think more positively, so instead of thinking that it is no use updating my mods because the minute I do, another patch drops anyway and I have to start all over, I should think more positively. I will probably drop the game after playing for a day anyway, so it does not need to stay updated for long! Maybe downloading and updating mods is more fun than actually playing anyway? 😆

[crimeronan]

cleaned for 9 hours today, half of which was dedicated Just to a 5x2 foot space beside the bed that has been my Disaster Area for Literal Years. motivation being that i just got back from three weeks at my mom's house, which is VERY well-kept and organized, and that meant i could See Clutter for the first time in ages. i wanted to fix some shit before the ADHD blindness set back in.

accomplishments:

discovered a literal 5 years worth of dust in some corners. oops

found a Scary Biohazard (mold pillow. millow, if u will. it has now been disposed of.)

took out 4 forty-gallon bags of trash

took out 3 forty-gallon bags of recycling

found 8 months worth of one medication

and 4 months worth of another

and 9 months worth of a medication i no longer take and should dispose of

plus so many old steroids

and painkillers

and inhalers

and anti-nausea meds so i could keep down all the meds i used to be on

also found 3 years worth of saved birthday and christmas cards

and 8 books i'd forgotten i had down there

and several sets of gel pens

and 3 beautiful unused journals

and 2 delightful unused coloring books

and all the art of mine that fell off the walls months ago

found houses for everything i don't want Right Next To Me At All Times

reorganized everything on my bedside table

made notes for shelving and containers i need to get tomorrow

did 2 loads of dishes

decluttered the kitchen

fully unpacked from my trip

became less insane.

the apartment is not Clean yet because it is filled with corners and piles that will be their own little four-hour projects. but my bed space is clean for the first time since 2020 and we have clean dishes and all the trash bins are empty so it's now a lot easier to pick up after ourselves.

Nine Hours.

i'm gonna. go take a Very Hot Bath.

[thatsthewrongwallcraig]

I’m not pretty sure how I will get depressive reader into smutty or dark but imagine Eddie praising depressive reader when they clean her apartment

She is slow, walking in circles but Eddie praises her regardless. He’s already done with the bathroom and kitchen but he’s praising her when she picks up another cup that isn’t supposed to be in her bedroom.

They eventually get the whole apartment clean by night and Eddie reward his girlfriend by a bubble bath

This is cute! Thank you for this wonderful ask, anon! 🌸💕

Content Warning: hurt with comfort, Eddie fluff, depressed!reader

The early spring sun already hung low in the sky as you let your eyes roam around your utterly messy bedroom.

Although you and your boyfriend came rather far with decluttering your depression-ridden flat, the sight in front of you wasn't exactly raising the spirits. Your entire nightstand was cramped with more or less empty coffee mugs, chocolate wrappers scattered in between. The bed messy from sleepless tossing and turning.

"Well, here we go.." You sighed under your breath, trying your best to remind yourself that this room posed the last lap to finish this race against yourself, against your last depressive episode that, without a doubt, hit hard.

With slow steps, you walked towards the edge of your bed. The crumpled sheets in front of your body emitting an unwelcoming, almost distressing atmosphere. While you were eyeing your twisted duvets, you remembered just how damn painful it was to simply get out of bed today. With each morning passing it gradually grew into more of a struggle over the past weeks and if it hadn't been for Ed's you were certain that you wouldn't have left it at all today.

With a stern knock on your door he not exactly forced you but lovingly pushed you to eventually get up. To wipe your tangled, admittedly greasy hair out of your sleep deprived, bloodshot eyes and stand up on your feet.

The feeling of the frizzy, grey carpet floor underneath your toes was almost overstimulating to your sore senses. Yet the two of you worked up to a squeaky clean bathroom and a tidy kitchen. Well, to be fair most of that had been Eddie, who rushed relentlessly between dirty dishes and the bin.

The two of you had been together for a while now and it certainly wasn't the first episode of yours he witnessed. Nonetheless, you felt guilty for having him help with your problems again. To you it felt like this shouldn't be his burden to carry, quite literally not his mess to clean up.

And yet you couldn't stand a chance to simply let him help.

Inhaling another deep breath, you grabbed the duvet, pulled the corners towards you and folded it , pressing the edge down nice and neatly. Next up the the pillows. Those two sad piles were in desperate need of a good shake.

After a faint rush of excitement over having your bed made for the first time in a good while, that gnarly voice from the far back of your head doubled down on you. Nagging you how none of that meant anything because it would be just another mess to sort out tomorrow again.

You felt it weighing you down physically and you couldn't help yourself but to sink down, losing your composure as you faced the still chaotic nightstand of yours. So many cups that would require more than one trip to the sink that Ed's had cleaned so eagerly hours ago.

"No, No, NO!" You tried to push the voice back to where it came from, reaching out to grab the first cup.

Your fingers enclosed it tightly and you quickly pulled it close to you as if it was about the slip from your grip if you didn't pay attention enough.

"I'm really proud of you, pumpkin."

Your eyes darted to your open bedroom door. You didn't even notice Eddie approaching you and even less him apparently watching you for a moment.

"Huh?" That's all that left your lips as you looked right at him, rather dumbfounded.

"I'm serious. You doing so good right now." He reciprocated.

'Good' wasn't exactly the word you would've described it with but you still felt a certain flush of warmth flood your chest.

"T-thank you." It rolled off your tongue as your other hand cupped the next cup.

"You know what? How about I pour you a nice, warm bath after we're done here? Do you feel like having one?" A wide grin adored Eddie's lips as he pitched the idea to you.

"Uh uhm...", Your tired thoughts tried to catch up with holding two cups and processing the idea of taking a bath later, "That..yeah, that would be really nice."

"Perfect!", He exclaimed, nodding towards the cups in your hands, "While you get those into the sink, I'll take care of the rest."

[thescarlettbitch]

Fixing my altar

Due to issues regarding the openness of my beliefs, I've never had a proper altar. A few years ago, I tried to make one, and it got cluttered and destroyed basically, which feels like a fair analogy to how my practice had been for a while.

However, as I've been getting more into my practice and feeling more like myself, I'm going to clean up my altar and make an actual effort into having it look how I want it to. Currently I've been using the old bookshelf that's in my room, but it is a mess, trash everywhere, jewelry, old pay stubs, junk mail. Inanna's bowl and cup are just sitting on the shelf surrounded by trash, and I know she doesn't hate me for it, but I almost hate myself for it. She's very reassuring and understanding of my mental state the past years, and she's telling me I need to be less critical of myself, which I'm grateful for. I just got a couple of things for my altar at my local thrift store (a gorgeous heart shaped dish, a boot shaped shot glass, and some seven day pillar candles) so hopefully my next day off I can get to work cleaning it off and getting it all set up, or at least decluttered.

I do have a slight moral delima.

Many years ago, my ex got me an infinity rose. It's been sitting in the same spot since. Part of me feels drawn to cleanse it and keep it on my altar for Inanna, but another part wants to throw it away and never see it again. But as Inanna's domaine involves love, sex, and also war, I feel like it would be fitting to keep it for her. To change the way I see the object, as roses are a symbol of her. I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts? I know that it really only matters if Inanna is alright with it, so I will ask her, but I wanted to see if anyone else had done something similar and it backfire.

Thank you and blessed be <3

[mstudi0s]

Cleaning = Mind 🎼

🖤 - Bringing clarity and organization to my headspace.

Something that I've always found brings me clarity and really clears up what's going on in my mind is organizing and decluttering. The action of clearing things out and cleaning things off makes me feel like I am getting rid of old energy and ready to start new. It sort of reminds me of a snake shedding its skin to prepare itself for the next month and so it can start off new. 🖤

I know that there are many people who can see tidying up as a stressful task or just another chore on their list, but for me, it's always been therapeutic. I've gotten my greatest ideas just from washing dishes or wiping my nightstand off. And yes, there are definitely other things that do put me into that meditative state of being such as showering, getting ready, or even just eating and / or going for a walk. These work just as well. 🖤

But I feel why I always fall back on chores and cleaning is it gives me this sense of outside control when I'm struggling to control what's inside. In this backward way, it almost returns the power back to me, and I notice that once I am done, there is peacefulness and calmness to my headspace. 🖤

This works for me, and it may not work for everybody here, but I figured I would throw this out there as a way to validate those who do the same thing or even encourage others to try it. See if it works for you, and you can curate it, and have fun with it in a way that it's benefiting you instead of feeling like another chore or stresser on your list of many things to do. 🖤

🎼 - The End

[bunnydevs]

Routine + Study Anxiety + Planning + Executive Dysfunction Talk

Lately, as I mentioned in a few of my other posts, I've been struggling with this feeling of wanting to study but not being able to do it. It's been really tough, as I love studying and learning. For one, I know I need routine in my life or I crash and burn.

Example A: I study all day and feel amazing but around 7 p.m. I notice that I feel lightheaded. I forgot to eat, tidy, drink water, stretch, etc because I didn't have any of it scheduled with reminders.

I feel that this is part of what caused my anxiety around studying. I fear that once I start again I'll hyperfixate and will not be able to turn my switch to off, so to speak.

So! I'm devising a plan to work through these issues and study consistently instead of in bursts.

First: The Daily Necessities

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Food three times / day . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Water throughout the day . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Teeth brushing morning & night . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Skincare morning & night . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Stretching once / day . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Disconnect once / day for 15 minutes . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Shower once / day . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Basic tidy (15-20 mins) once / day

Second: The Weekly's

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Laundry twice / week (wash, dry, fold, put away) . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋPark trip twice / week (go on an hour walk) . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋDeep clean bathroom once / week . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋDeclutter doom drawers/bins/areas once / week . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋDeep clean kitchen & living area once / week . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Town day once / week . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Check plants for issues once / week . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Exercise 4 days / week (park included) . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Meal planning & prep once / week

Third: Fillers

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ One zoo or aquarium trip / month . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Two library trips / month . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Biweekly declutter of entire closet . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Restaurant once / month

Work : 4 days / week

Steps to take from here: . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Put everything into a calendar . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Create a daily routine that is repetitive enough that eating/water/stretching becomes habit ! . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋCreate a routine specifically for days when things are icky and I am struggling more. . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Add in studying ! But I have to limit myself on how many subjects I can study at once (or I'll overrun myself)

I'm going to give habitica another go but I made a back up just in case it doesn't work out.

Cool, how is studying going to fit into this? ╰┈➤ Select subjects, then write their difficulty and how much each task (whether that be reading a chapter or 30 minute sessions) is worth! Then you just pop up in there on days where you have time :3 ! Yeah!

So how is this supposed to help? ╰┈➤ Well it creates a gamified version of my life but also provides the necessary routine and structure I have to have. So. Yeah. It's also completely customizable from person to person. How do I customize it? ╰┈➤ You can use habitica or... If you want to make your own, just write down all the tasks you need + then add a gold/xp/point value to them. From there you make your rewards, that you exchange for said gold/xp/point. You can also use HP and leveling systems if you want ! For me, if i skip any of my daily tasks I will have 3 gold taken from me ! The harder something is, the more gold it should be worth.

I think I got all my good rambles out! Toodlez, making my calendar and such now :0

[chvndlr]

task seventeen: spring forward

1. first things first: do you like spring?

Yeah, it's fine I guess. Not my favorite but I don't really have anything against it either.

2. what is your favorite thing about spring?

Look, my favorite season is winter. I like the cold. I like the snow. I like that nobody's trying to get me to hang out at the beach. But I gotta admit the sunshine and the warmer (but not hot) weather feel pretty good.

3. what is your least favorite thing about spring?

I'm gonna be real with you. I fucking hate summer. Spring means we're that much closer to it and that I have another, like, six months before it starts to cool down again.

4. do you have a vegetable / produce / fruit garden?

No. I've thought about starting one, it'd be way better for my cooking than being at the mercy of whatever's in stores. But it's a lot of work and I don't think I've ever kept a plant alive in my life.

5. how about flower beds, or things planted in the house?

My house gives off a certain vibe. That vibe says "I'm 22 and I've never lived anywhere but a college dorm" which, despite not being factually true, feels accurate. Learning how to not kill a houseplant would really go against that aesthetic.

6. regardless of what you do or do not plant, are you good at growing plants? have a green thumb?

I think I've done a very good job explaining I'm fucking terrible at growing shit.

7. what’s your favorite flower or plant?

They're all pretty much the same....(Don't tell Nari I said that)

8. what’s your favorite scent that you associate with spring?

Floral scents. But not like real flowers, like candles.

9. is there a sound that you associate with spring time?

I guess birds chirping? You don't hear them much all winter, cause most of them leave and come back, so when you start to hear them a lot it really feels like spring

10. do you prefer sunny mornings or rainy afternoons?

Rainy afternoons. I'm not usually up early enough in the mornings to be happy about the sunlight coming into my house.

11. favorite thing to do on a sunny, warm spring day?

Take Jenna on a walk

12. favorite thing to do on a rainy, chilly spring day?

Stay inside and invite a friend over to play video games all day

13. do you celebrate Easter? any traditions you follow for it?

Eh, not really. My family was never big into holidays, so they were never a big deal to me as an adult either. No traditions or anything. And it's not really a holiday people get together and party for like Halloween or St. Patrick's Day

14. regardless of if you do or don’t: favorite Easter candy?

Anything chocolate-peanut butter. So Reece's I guess?

15. what other springtime holidays do you observe?

Are there even other spring time holidays? Other than St. Patrick's Day, I mean. Like who the fuck is out here celebrating Memorial Day?

16. favorite place in Merrock to visit in the springtime?

I've been here a couple years but I don't know. Pine Grove Gardens make for good photos in the spring, so I guess we'll go with that.

17. the spring bugs are coming out: do you rescue them and let them out of the house, or grab the nearest shoe?

Shoe. I don't need them getting back in the house the way they came in and fucking up any fruit that's on the counter.

18. are you a big spring cleaner?

Yeah. I didn't come to Merrock with much stuff, so I don't have much to declutter yet. But I am big into making sure every room is deep cleaned at least twice a year - in the spring and in the fall.

19. do you switch over your wardrobe from cold weather to warm weather clothes?

I saw a meme about switching from your winter blacks to your summer blacks, which sums up how I feel. I mostly wear jeans and tshirts year round, so all I really do is put my thicker jackets away for a few months.

20. how about the house: does your decor change for the spring season? do you rearrange furniture?

Yeah, I tend to switch out my decor every few months so it doesn't feel boring. It's been awhile since I rearranged furniture though. I like where it's at now.

21. what color makes you think ’spring’?

Pastels, right? Isn't that the big thing every year? The easter bunny is usually made in pastels, I notice a lot more pastel clothing when I'm doing photoshoots too

22. describe your perfect spring outfit:

Same thing I wear every day. I don't really think about my clothes unless I need to dress up more. And even then, I just make sure I look nice enough without putting a whole lot of energy into it. most adorable looking baby animal that you ever did see?

23. what’s a drink that makes you think of spring?

Mint julep. Couldn't explain the connection to you, but I seem to have them more in the spring than any other time of year

24. how about a snack?

Easy, peeps.

[100dayproductivity]

93/100.

Grief Days 10-14.

Two weeks Tumblr! It's been exactly two weeks since I had to say goodbye to my cat forever. I have made it through these two weeks okay and I feel I should acknowledge myself for that.

Let's take stock.

I've gotten over the initial deep sadness of seeing my cat take his last breath. I am starting to get used to him not being around. (Just starting to; I still have a long way to go.)

My other cat is also grieving in his own way. I've noticed that he has been more clingy, wanting to be around me almost all the time. He is not generally a cuddler, never wants to be in your lap, but these past two weeks he settles down beside me as close to me as possible without actually being in my lap. He and his brother napped together all the time, always cuddling up to each other, especially during the winter months. So I think he definitely misses the company of his besty. I am trying my best to reassure him and make him feel safe and loved, and that helps heal my heart.

I've gotten over the initial deep sadness of my eldest leaving home for university. It seems that a community of her fellow students already started to form in the two days before classes even started, so she has not been feeling alone as far as I can gather. She has unpacked and settled into her little dorm room, sent me a video of what it looks like, so I can picture what her mornings and evenings will look like as she studies and relaxes, and this gives me comfort. We have texted almost daily, usually in the evenings before bed, and we will soon fall into a new rhythm of communication as she settles into her class schedule and establishes her daily routine.

My youngest got through his first day of high school without any pomp or circumstance. I asked whether he was nervous or excited and he said he was neither, so I think he will quickly adjust to the new school year. During the couple of days between his sister leaving home and the first day of school, we spent some nice quality time together. It was a different dynamic without his sister present. Different but nice. I can see how he is quickly maturing and how I am quickly adjusting to being a different kind of mother to this boy who is becoming a young man. I am still grieving the end of being a mother to little ones, but I'm beginning to feel joyful about being a mother to adults. I will still have moments of deep grief, I'm sure, but maybe less intense and less often with time.

Still looming on the horizon is my ex's wish to move my son overseas with him. I have received encouraging counsel and support from my lawyer, so I'm tentatively hopeful that things will work out without any raging battles.

I've just realized that another thing weighing heavy on my heart right now is my living situation. I'm beginning to feel like it's time for me to move house. The location and size of my house was amazing when my kids were little, but more and more now I'm beginning to wonder whether it still makes sense for me to continue living here. If I was awash in wealth it wouldn't be a question, but I'm not, and it's getting less and less affordable for me to live here. Did you know that moving is among the most stressful life events? It's right up there with death of a loved one and divorce. So yeah, yet another facet of this grief I am feeling. The challenge for me here is that I have a lot of clutter. The thought of having to move gives me a huge amount of anxiety. It would be less if I got organized and cleared stuff out. Which actually is the initial reason I started this blog. But the need to declutter and clean up has felt more urgent these past two weeks.

All of this and more is what makes me feel on the verge of a panic attack. Still going to continue with the increased anxiety medication dosage!!

[whats-wild-to-you]

Hellooo! I hope you’re doing well and healthy :)

Can I request you write a smut if you’re comfortable and when you have time

So the reader is playing with herself to Reply by Jay and he catches her

Thank you 🫶🏻

Goddamn! 🥵🥵 THAT SONG !!! It’s been a while since I wrote a smut 🫣🤭

Also, why are Jay’s sexy songs always so damn descriptive. They’re like a manual on how to seduce him 🥵

________________________________________

With Jay being away so much, it gave you an opportunity to declutter your shared home. You had wanted to do it for a while but always procrastinated.

Your phone beeping startled you, and you almost spilled your coffee.

Baby, I’m coming back early! Did you miss me? Tonight, you are going to be all I’ll be concentrating on 😊

Even though he attached an innocent looking emoji at the end, your cheeks almost immediately heated up.

Right. No more delays. You’d clean up and prepare his favorite dish for him.

It was past 10pm and you still waited for Jay, barely able to keep both eyes open. The food was cold and your outfit felt uncomfortable. All you wanted was to take off your clothes and lie in bed.

But just in that moment, another text lit up your screen.

I’ll be home in 30 minutes 😏

You chuckled, staring at the flirty message. Immediately you felt alert and went to the kitchen to get some candles. With the mood set, you looked through your CD collection for some slow music to put on but no song seemed fitting.

Then you remembered how you found some of Jay’s old albums earlier today. Without thinking too much, you decided to put on EYW.

First, lock the door girl

Cus this song is rated R

Focus now

Listen baby to what I am trying to say

Take off your T-shirt first

Take your pants off too

Don't take off your underwear

Leave your bra and underwear on

“Good Lord!” You chuckled, but felt the heat rise to your cheeks.

You leaned back on the sofa and closed your eyes. It had been 9 weeks since Jay left and you missed him terribly. His voice, his laugh, his touch. His body weight on you.

Driven by an all-consuming desire, you slowly unbuttoned your jeans, shimmying out of it and dropping it on the ground. Next it was your cropped top that landed unceremoniously on the floor.

You wore your fanciest, sexiest underwear today, your lace panties caused an arousing friction. Getting rid of them first, then lastly taking off your bra, you laid there completely naked, letting Jay’s voice slowly caress your body

Don't move and close your eyes

Imagine my tattoos touching your body

I'm standing here so keep looking at my body

Tonight, I wanna make your bed into an ocean

Automatically, your hand landed on your pussy, as you started playing with yourself, not surprised at all that Jay’s voice was enough to get you wet.

You moaned loudly, your other hand massaging your breasts rather roughly, imagining that Jay’s fingers caressed your body, touching every inch of you.

[Jay’s POV]

Completely exhausted, I punched the numbers on the keypad and watched the door spring open. Dragging my luggage inside, I was startled when I heard one of my songs playing.

I noticed the lights were turned off. Instead, candles dipped the place in a soft light, creating a sensual atmosphere.

I chuckled. I missed my girl and wanted to nail her to the bed. Judging by the setup, I guessed she was feeling the same way.

I was just about to call her name when I stopped dead in my tracks.

I was marveling at the sight in front of me, my mouth dropped open, my eyes glued on her.

There she was, laying naked on the couch playing with herself, while my song was playing on repeat.

Her eyes were closed and her head thrown back. I knew she didn’t hear me coming in, otherwise she would’ve panicked. Who knew a sexy vixen laid dormant inside her?

Debating whether I should make my presence known or slip past her to the bedroom, the choice was taken away from me when she suddenly opened her eyes, realizing she was no longer alone.

She stared at me in shock, her fingers still on her swollen pussy. I realized what was happening. She was close to climax. Throwing her head back again, she moaned loudly, making my dick twitch.

Covering herself with a blanket, she got up rather clumsily, I assumed because her legs were still wobbly, and walked towards the stereo. Turning the music off, she looked at me with her best poker face on.

“You’re late.”

I wanted to protest, say that I hadn’t given her a specific time window, therefore I couldn’t be late, but my throat was dried up.

“I made dinner. You can wash up while I reheat it.”

Am I being punk’d?

We had dinner in silence, when I finally put the fork down, sighing from all the pent up sexual frustration.

“Are you for real? We’re not going to talk about what happened earlier?”

“I thought we did! I told you you were late.”

A glint in her eyes, she yelped when I picked her up and threw her over my shoulder like a sac of potatoes, taking her to the bedroom.

“You know I’ve made a playlist full of songs like this. Buckle up honey, it’s going to be a long night!”

[mydeclutterjourney]

Busy day today

Earlier in the week, I decluttered a box of books and papers I hadn't used since college, so at least 11 years ago. Tonnes of high school and college work that only a couple of years ago I was roo sentimental to throw away. I emptied the whole box and kept one empty notebook and one set of folder dividers. And that left me with an empty box that was perfect for the bottom of my wardrobe.

So that meant I had to tackle the bottom of my wardrobe...

So this morning, I just went for it. It was full of old shoes and scrap clothing. I'm pretty certain it was a pile of things that I'd already designated to go because they all had holes in or were things I absolutely no longer wore. There must have been 6 or so pairs of shoes and 2 half pairs I was hesitant about getting rid of but when I opened the bag, one pair had almost completely crumbled. Just a grim sticky mess and it had gotten onto another pair of shoes, a pair of kitten heels that I had only worn once!!! and that I should have donated long before this. I only held on to them because they were a gift. Luckily they cleaned up okay and went straight into the donate pile.

The half pairs went, one was wrecked anyway and I'm pretty certain I threw the other one's pair a couple of months ago. The ooooold trainers that were also worn through to the insole went. A pair of wedges that I have 2 of, and a pair of old suede boots joined the kitten heels to be donated. And of course the crumbled shoes went. That was about a quarter of the space in the wardrobe reclaimed.

The clothes were relatively easy. All the holey leggings went. They were all at least 2 sizes too small. Past me was keeping them to use as fabric scraps to learn to sew. It's been several years and I still haven't learnt so of they went, I did keep one pair that I will cut into shorts to wear under dresses. So much stuff that I would have stitched up and carried on wearing but it was several sizes too small. And they couldn't really be donated once stitched up, so they all had to go.

Then, not wanting to waste a trip to the recycling centre, I went through the kitchen and kitchen cupboard to get out a load of cutlery and appliance add ons I don't use. There was A Lot of scrap metal and several appliance boxes that I no longer need. But most surprisingly was the amount of plastic containers! A few old takeaway containers but just so many miscellaneous containers that weren't mine and I'd even forgotten were there. I couldn't donate most of them because they all smelled like old food. But they absolutely couldn't stay because that kitchen space is too valuable.

So, a black bag full of scrap clothing, a box of scrap metal, a shopping bag of old containers and a large box of paper from earlier in the week got packed into my car... And not disposed of. I went to 2 recycling centres and there cars were queueing down the street at both sites. So that's a job for next weekend where no doubt I will have another busy day decluttering.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Trying to do more cleaning on my breaks to help make baby proofing the apartment as easy as possible and I managed to get a load of laundry put through without having to ask wifey for help carrying the basket! This is big for me even if it feels small. I haven't been able to do that since I was maybe 20? Going on a decade now give or take. My skin is crawling with static electricity, but I didn't faint, or fall, or hurt myself, or drop anything!

I'm still going to have to carry it back up, but I think I'll be able to manage that too.

My goal for today is at least 2 (preferrably 4) loads of laundry, and doing a maintenance clean on the bathroom to get it back to sparkling.

My goal for tomorrow is to have the bedroom 100% decluttered and swept.

My goal for Friday is to make sure all the dishes get washed (along with the drying rack, soap dish, and other accoutrement) and the kitchen counters get cleared and completely wiped down.

My goal for Saturday is to wash all the cabinets and appliances in the kitchen.

My goal for Sunday is to build the bedframe and get the bedroom to sparkling (sweep again, mop, clean the walls and baseboards, organize the dog toys, organize the shelves, "put away" the clean clothes, etc.) And to have wifey get the kitchen floor completely clear of anything but furniture so I can mop everything.

My goal for Monday is to do the actual baby proofing, figure out what needs to happen to protect Lil Lady and also protect our things FROM Lil Lady.

And then in the week to follow I'm just gonna go around washing walls, windows, baseboards, etc during my breaks until everything's shiny and gorgeous.

I know wifey'll help wherever she can, but honestly aside from dealing with the kitchen clutter (which I know I can't do) I'd rather she be able to focus on just maintaining my work behind me while she handles meals and dishes than have her help with any of the deep cleaning. I think not having to go back and redo my work will go a long way towards letting me get through it all.

Anyway, I think I've sat for long enough atm. I'm going to go ahead and go clean the bathroom now. The tub became a mop water dump so it's uhhhhhh bad. Right now. Probably gonna soak it in cleaner, scrub everything into a pile with the cleaning scrubber, then wipe it up with paper towels and soak the tub in cleaner again to get underneath the debris layer. Bathroom's gonna smell powerfully of grapefruit by the time I'm done lol. Also need to scrub the toilet and add a new cleaning tablet to the tank, as well as sweeping and mopping again. I think I might also advocate to wifey getting a new shower liner because ours is about a year old now and could do with replacing. For now I'll probably just soak it in water and cleaner in the tub between soaking rounds to get it decent again until we can replace it. I do kinda wish I could have a double layer of cloth curtain and liner, but that's for another day I suspect.

[stressedlawsecretary]

Today's Focus

11.14.24 - Almost to the end of the week; we are feeling out of touch today my friends so we're going to brew an extra cup of coffee to keep us going.

Work - Okay yesterday I spent all day arguing with Woodbourne over setting up a teleconference; turns out they thought it was a video conference, despite my providing the teleconference information. Now, I have to go back to SJC's new case and follow up on tracking those defendants.

Background Noise - Still at home, although soon I'll be going in on Fridays until the office is back to normal. However, I'm doing well getting stuff off my DVR; I want to have a lot of room for while dad's away in Syracuse. Also did another 32 or so videos off my Watch Later yesterday and while dad's gone I'm going to binge tf out of YT.

Study - It is Thursday, so if I get an opportunity I'm going to try and read more of Twin Terror especially; it's book reading day and I can focus pretty well on that one. I did watch on YT a video on Russian kidnapping of Ukrainian children, one on the failure of mobile game advertising, a few on true crime/news stories, and a couple of long news programs on my DVR. I think I did 'visual study' pretty well, plus I read a couple of press releases and like 11 random articles.

Extras - Thursday means I have to make sure trash goes to the curb; that being said, Dad is going to be gone for dinner - out with my sister at the movies - so I don't have to cook. I am going to do some cleaning/decluttering though; I want to use some of my empty candle jars to organize my drink area in the pantry. More Kamen Rider W and Zombieland Saga: Revenge today; I think after Zombieland Saga we're going to re-watch/continue My Next Life as a Villianess followed by the five seasons I just obtained of In Living Color. I also think I might want to re-watch Major Payne before starting on the Despicable Minions series.

[woodviewcottage]

Why I went from being a minimalist to a maximalist...

Before the Farmhouse look was gaining attention, I really loved the primitive decor. My house then got full sunlight, so it didn't really seem so dark to me and I do love some vintage and antique pieces. But as the Farmhouse look started gaining traction in a big way, I just fell in love with it. It was bright, open, and looked so crisp and clean. So, I did away with all my primitive stuff, all of my antiques (including the very first tv ever made) and I decluttered everything. Went very simplistic with my decor and furniture pieces. I had pops of color with pillows and curtains -- really loved the pop of the teal-ish blue that got so big. It was very easy to keep clean. It always looked clean. It always seemed so bright.

I still loved the vintage and antiques but I only looked at and admired them. Never bought them.

After almost 20 years of living in the same house ad raising my children there on the farm, we moved. We bought another house a few miles away on the top of the mountain, back in the woods.

I tried for 2-3 years to turn this cottage into the same look. Over the past year or so, I realized that I really didn't like the fact that I had to dig out anything I needed bc I kept the countertops so minimal and clean. I started not to like my coffee table and bedside tables and countertops and walls being so bare. It started feeling stale and uncomfortable.

I hadn't realized before but I was equating a clean and minimal look to comfort. And it's really not the same at all.

Listen, I am a clean freak. Everything has a place, an angle in which it sits, has to be were it goes, cannot be crooked on the walls, cannot be dirty or dusty. I cannot go more than a day without vacuuming, no more than 3 days without mopping. I'm super weird about it. It used to dive my husband crazy wen we were first married, but he's since gotten used to it and has now crossed over to my OCD side.

Anyway, I missed my old pieces that had so much character, had their own stories, had a long life before I found them. I started looking up cottage designs bc that's what we bought and I wanted it to be true to it's personality.

What I absolutely love about the cottage core aesthetic are the colors, the different textures, wallpapers(!) -- love some wallpaper, the charm, the mixed patterns, the character, the story it shares with people. It's almost fairytale - like to me. With cottage core, you can do bright, you can do dark, you can do both. You can have each room tell its own story. You can be moody and sexy in the bedroom but bright and light in the living room. You can do golds and florals and pinks in the kitchen. You can do PINK, period! I love a light pink and my husband doesn't mind my love for pink at all. (I think since I'm home all day, he just decided to let me run with whatever if it kept me busy and made me happy.)

I love the sunlight (when it finally reaches my windows in the late morning) but I also really love keeping the house's character and surroundings in tact and complimentary to each other.

I was about to give up on this house. I prayed and prayed and prayed for us to find something else. Until one day I realized God had answered my prayers...just not in the way I asked. He gave me a renewed vision, a new inspiration for what this house could be, how we could have the added square footage and bedrooms we needed. He told me: you need to learn to love and appreciate what you have instead of wanting what you can't have.

Bc of His plans for me, we decided to build onto the house in an unconventional way. We decided to use wall mounted solariums, greenhouses, and conservatories for a new master bedroom, a "parent cave" to watch what we want on tv or read or to have gatherings or whatever, and a breakfast room on the backside of the kitchen. The cost is much less than building on. It gives the house a unique aesthetic on the exterior, as well as the interior. It adds much needed light to come into the house. And it almost doubles our square footage. A cottage home is such a lovely home to own. There's so much you can do.

And since changing from minimalist farmhouse to a cottage core aesthetic, I am once again surrounded by the vintage and antique pieces I love so much and have them all out on display -- like my three beautiful complete sets of gold lined china.

What's your aesthetic? Why do you like it? What about it gives you comfort or makes it feel like home to you?

[frogsandfries]

My sister busted her leg and the lawn can't wait another six weeks. So I'm going to mow the front lawn in twenty minute increments this week. If anyone wants to bitch about the back lawn, they can eat my ass.

I busted my dominant hand thumb trying to get in before the animals got out.

The puppy chewed through his leash this morning and got picked up by a fucking stranger, taken into her car.

This day is just cursed.

We had the housekeepers in today. They emptied my bathroom organizer and reorganized it for no reason. They threw out my soap pouch that I just broke in a few months ago to give me a good lather. It had my blackberry soap from Naturally Enchanted Soapworks. They threw away the barely used conditioner bar. They put my garage shelves out in the garbage.

But they did finally get my sister's stuff unpacked. She got the piercing jewelry all put away. She's going to see about putting together this recliner tomorrow. The porch is decluttered. The kitchen is decluttered--and clean. And I'm going to do my best to keep it that way. The house feels much more manageable now...........as long as I don't have to take care of my sister's animals. Which, as I've mentioned, are numerous.

Anyway, the great thing about busting my thumb is, the transfer paper is supposed to be here tomorrow. I was genuinely looking forward to doing some color in traditional media.