#so to all of y’all that are commenting and reblogging

[melosliving]

Can you do when actress reader has a panic attack and kelvin Harrison jr and Aaron Pierre are there

let me cook baby !!! I just wanted to say thank you for all the love y’all have been showing me 🥹 I’m currently dealing with shit and y’all’s comments, requests and reblogs truly bring joy in my heart so thank you for everything ❤️❤️

aaron pierre & kelvin harrison jr x actress!reader

you’re having a panic attack

The first thing that hits you is the warmth in your chest, then the feeling that the walls are closing in. The air grows thicker, like you’re breathing cotton. You know you’re not alone—the noise of the room, the voices, the slightly flickering lights—but it all starts feeling distant. Like you’re underwater. Your heart is racing, your hands are shaking, and you’re losing your grip on the ground.

“Hey, hey, lovie. You’re with us ?”

Aaron’s deep voice reaches you, but it floats in the void. You want to answer, but your throat is tight. A warm hand wraps around yours, squeezing gently.

“It’s just me. Breathe, slowly, you don’t have to force it. Just... follow my voice.” Kelvin. Always that soft, patient tone. He lowers himself to your level, his eyes full of concern but not panic. He just wants to help. You don’t have to see his face to know he has that little frown that means he’s thinking of a thousand ways to make this better for you.

The pressure had been building all day. The interviews, the flashing lights, the constant need to be “on.” It wasn’t your first press junket, not your first time sitting under the scrutiny of cameras, but today something snapped. Maybe it was the long hours, the overwhelming questions, or the way your body just couldn’t keep up anymore. Whatever it was, it hit you hard.

“Do you want to step outside for a minute ?” Aaron suggests, still holding your hand. You don’t have the strength to answer, but you squeeze his fingers just a little. He understands.

Kelvin places a hand on your back, a grounding gesture. “Let’s just walk a little, come on.”

You move without thinking, between the two of them, protected. The noise of the room fades behind you. The air outside hits you, cooler, lighter. Your shoulders start to drop, the trembling in your hands slowly easing.

“That was a panic attack, wasn’t it?” Aaron asks gently. He gives you time to respond, and when you nod, he nods too, like he understands completely.

“Do you wanna talk or just breathe a little more?” Kelvin is in front of you now, eyes locked on yours. He doesn’t push, he just waits. You take a deep breath, and even though your voice is a little rough, you manage to whisper, “Just... stay here for a bit.”

“Okay. We’re not going anywhere.”

So they stay. Aaron on your left, Kelvin on your right. Their presence solid, reassuring. They don’t rush you, they don’t flood you with questions. They’re just there. And that’s enough.

Minutes pass, and the tension in your chest starts to ease. The night air is crisp, the distant hum of the city grounding you. Kelvin crouches down, rubbing small circles into your back. “You’re doing great boo. Just keep breathing.”

Aaron shifts closer, letting your head rest lightly against his shoulder. “You know we got you, right?”

You nod, swallowing past the lingering tightness in your throat. “Yeah. I know.”

Kelvin smiles, brushing a stray curl from your face. “Good. ‘Cause we’re not letting you go through this alone.”

For the first time since the panic started, you believe them. You exhale slowly, letting yourself be held by their warmth, their steadiness. The world still feels a little heavy, but with them here, you know you’ll be okay.

@ melosliving 2025

[doudouhoon]

A SONG OF BLOOD AND DUTY

pairing ✶ ice prince!park sunghoon x fire princess/dragonrider!reader

synopsis ✶ the princess of the fire kingdom has been betrothed to the crown ice prince since the second that she was born. when duty calls, she must take her place next to park sunghoon and rule the ice kingdom. but can she leave her kingdom to her immoral half-brother and give up her rightful succession as the first-born? now, she must make her choice - engulf the ones who have wronged her in flames and shed blood or be the queen that never was.

warnings ✶ graphic violence (fencing and i promise nobody was hurt (for now 😈), sexual harassment (very subtle and non-verbal).

est. word count ✶ 6k

author’s note ✶ first chapter is out y’all! it is kinda boring but that is just because it’s the start of the plot. ngl i didn’t expect it would take so much work 😟 but here we are! likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated and i kindly remind you that this is my first piece of work so keep that in mind (i am afraid to read it 🥸). p.s. i changed the name of the ice kingdom in the last second. so for every asoiaf fan who has heard of ulthos, i am well aware that it’s situated in the south part of the world, i just changed that fact for the sake of the story.

taglist ✶ @firstclassjaylee, @dksfml, @miukidoll, @d-dilemma, @xylatox

the sharp sound of metal against metal rang out like the harsh crack of a whip. the wind whooshed as the swords clashed in the training ground. each movement of the opponents was deliberate, but one lacked footwork. one wrong step and you will be on the ground, feeling the still wet mud from yesterday’s rainfall engulf your body in filth.

“well done, my prince!”

the orotund voice of aegon’s personal trainer and one of the best swordsmen in the kingdom was heard as he drew nearer to the young lad.

aemond still lay in the muddy ground, catching his breath from his brother’s sharp attacks. he blinked a few times and caught sight of ser criston cole’s body hovering above him. cole stretched out his hand to the defeated.

“we must work on your stability, your highness.”

aemond took hold of his calloused hand and only grunted in reply. standing up on his feet, he saw the look of all the knights around the training field. they thought he was weak. but what vexed him the most was his older brother’s triumphant grin.

you watched the scene in front of you unfold with an observant look. you were never allowed to participate in your brothers’ duels, god forbid; your merit is shown to the eyes of the world. the only times you were to touch a sword were your private lessons with ser harrold westerling, with whom your combat skills were sure to meliorate.

gathering your long dress in your hands, you held it with a delicate grip, turning your back to the resumed clash of swords. you took deliberate steps in order not to stomp on your intricate carmine dress. you entered the palace. your steps were quick, but not quicker than the two guards following you incessantly. light shily illuminated the dark red stone, which adorned the corridors to the chambers and study rooms. you took a sharp turn to the great library and huffed. the grand maester will surely now apprise your father of your constant lateness.

seeing the massive doors to the library, you willed yourself to quicken your step despite the discomfort you felt in the lengthy clothing. the guards in front saw your hurried manner and scurried to open the entryway.

entering the room, you saw the grand maester preparing the books you will need for today’s lesson in high valyrian.

you neared the ginormous table and sat down in one of the chairs.

“grand maester orwyle, apologies for my tardiness.”

the guilt in your voice was evident, which somehow put him at ease. at least you were not like your younger brothers.

“a princess with no imperfections is yet to be born, your grace. while i was awaiting your arrival, i arranged the books we will read today. now, let us begin. shall we?”

you nodded and gently smiled at the grand maester. he was wise and kind, unlike most of the men, roaming the red keep.

spending the next few hours of the day perfecting your mother tongue, even though you spoke it with no difficulties, was just another galling part of your everyday regime. your duty as a targaryen princess was to study until you knew the full monty of westorosi history, the chronicles of houses of service to the crown and the days of old valyria. future obligations, needless to say, included being a good wife and bearing heirs to the crown. notably, a male one.

having been done with your commitments for the day, you retreated to your bedchambers to rest before dinner. walking up to your vanity in the corner of your sleeping quarters, you sit in the hand-carved chair and gaze at the mirror in front of you. with a sigh, you reach for the wooden brush and start combing your dark tresses.

an abrupt knock at the door halted your movements.

“come in!”

your voice was heard from the other side of the door, prompting the guards to grasp the handle and finally reveal the man.

it was a woman. a familiar silhouette.

your lady-in-waiting, lisa massey bowed and stepped into the room.

“your highness, we must prepare your gown for tonight! should i help you brush your hair?”

hastily moving from one corner of the chambers to another, lisa frantically searched for the brush in your hands.

watching her, you took in her uneasy manner.

“what is the occasion today?”

“lord loren lannister has arrived in king’s landing to lodge his eldest son to the crown. or more specifically to you! didn’t the king mention that matter to you, rea?”

releasing yet another heavy sigh, you direct lisa’s focus to the comb in your right hand and faintly smirk.

“amusing, wasn’t it?”

slowly shaking her head, she walks up to you and starts gently combing through your hair.

“i’ll have the other servants prepare your gown for tonight.”

mindlessly nodding your head, you hum to her in a reply. you wondered if this one would be another scrawny little boy or perhaps a grey-bearded suitor of your long-deceased grandmother’s. nonetheless, you asked yourself why your father let all of this take place, given that you were already betrothed.

having no answer to that, you let your dear friend and lady-in-waiting help you slip into the silken black dress and proceed with the jewellery.

after lisa said she deemed you were in a fit state, you heard yet another knock at your door.

“your highness, the king is expecting you.”

“what great timing.”

catching your whisper, lisa only giggles and gives you a gentle pat on the shoulder.

“i am sure you will be fine, my princess.”

her mischievous smile only grew in size when you replied.

“i will. but nothing is certain for the one who will court me tonight.”

giving her a wink and a playful smile, you step to the doorway and let the guards push it open.

the tramp of two sets of marching feet could be heard behind your back. the sound alarmed the servants inside the castle, prompting them to bow as low as they could and pay their respect to the passing princess.

the thought that you were seen as an admirable figure, even a god by some, just because of your noble blood, always troubled you from a young age.

aerea did not think that she was more deserving of all of the gifts, given by the seven gods, than the poor smallfolk of the seven kingdoms.

hence, she evinced her benevolence and generosity to the people surrounding her. not because she wanted to be cheered on as “the realm’s delight”, but by virtue of her moral values.

having finally arrived before the door of the small hall, you take one last steady breath and slowly exhale, readying yourself for the awaiting charade on the other side.

the kingsguards bowed at you and opened the entry to the high-ceiling room.

a deep voice boomed to your right, signalling your presence.

“princess aerea targaryen!”

standing up to their feet, lord lannister and his son bowed their heads and awaited your next exertion.

your father watched calmly, smiling to himself at his daughter’s beauty and grace, a painful reminder of your late mother.

taking measured steps, you round the table and slightly bow at the king, seated at the end. after a few moments, you at last sat to your father’s right and smiled uneasily.

lord loren took it upon himself to commence the dialogue.

“your grace, princess aerea really is the epitome of elegance. i am honoured to finally meet you, your highness.”

while saying that, a faint smirk played at the corner of his lips, making you feel disturbed.

you glanced at your father’s face, him still smiling faintly and enjoying the compliments his daughter was receiving.

mustering up a polite smile, you turn your head to the lord on the other side of the wooden table.

“thank you, lord lannister. you truly flatter me.”

the young man observed you with a genuine curiosity, having heard quite a lot of whispers about the princess. alas, he decided to stay silent for now.

your father finally joined the exchange, standing up straight in his seat.

“lord loren, i have heard your son… the young lord kevan has shown outstanding merit during his swordsmanship trainings.”

the man eagerly nodded his head, agreeing with your father’s claim.

“yes, your grace! kevan possesses excellent prowess. when he was a little boy, he fancied watching our guardsmen fight one another. i knew he would become a splendid fighter.”

the older man patted his son on the shoulder as if to encourage him to say something, anything, to assert his presence. he really did look like a lannister. fair, golden hair and light green eyes. seemed like he was not quite talkative.

while the elderly went on talking about the imports of silks, dyes, and spices from Essos, you sat there and partly paid attention to the conversation. you did not show any interest in the lad sitting across the table. what troubled you was his constant, observing stare, following your every little movement.

he is such a creep! like father, like son, right?

good thing no one could hear your thoughts.

king daeron made a hasty gesticulation, and in a few seconds a few maids entered the hall, hands full of different exquisite dishes and wines.

finally! the faster we finish here, the better for me.

the princess had run out of patience, desperately wanting to get out of the lannister’s grip and retreat to her chambers.

not forgetting her manners, she ate a sufficient amount of food, chewing slowly, inaudibly, and with her mouth closed. she was careful not to sip too much wine or indulge in gluttony.

occasionally joining the tedious chatter, she exhibited forced grins and laughter, as to not seem distant or mannerless.

when aerea finally had enough of the futile charade, she seized the moment and carefully excused herself to the king and present lord; the reason was her drowsiness from the long day.

her father granted her permission to leave, and aerea stood up slowly to avoid appearing to be eager to vacate her seat.

she curtsied to the men, the lords also paying their respect to the princess by standing up and bowing to her.

what aerea did not miss was the evident anguish on lord loren’s face. she will definitely laugh about that with lisa later.

the doors closed behind her, her cue to release the sigh she was holding for so long.

she walked back the same path to her personal chambers, the guards still following her closely.

reaching her room, aerea ardently opened the doorway herself, entered, and closed it again with a thud.

the members of the kingsguard stood outside, confused by the princess’s doings.

the need to get rid of your clothes was overwhelming. you changed into your silky white nightgown, washed up as fast as you could, and lay in bed, alas restless.

this was the third time you had to endure having dinner with corrupt lords and their sons, men who grasped for power and authority through marriage.

you were well aware of the deal your father made with the king of ulthos. the marriage that awaited you, that will make you another kingdom’s queen. so why did your father allow all of this? certainly, the people of westeros were not apprised of the king’s scheming. no one knew, except for the council and the royal family. but was this pretence necessary?

on the other side of the world, park sunghoon was sitting at his writing table, quietly reading a history book. fatigue crept up his bones, resulting in him omitting words and even phrases. groaning lightly, he stood up and put the open book on the wooden surface next to him. the prince summoned his maids and ordered them to prepare him a hot bath.

while he waited, sunghoon strolled to the window in his room, taking in the scenery presented in front of him. the city beyond the gates of the castle was bustling with life even through the late hours of the night. guards were stationed on every corner of the stronghold. everything seemed peaceful. alas, sunghoon’s mind was not. with every passing day, his duties seemed to double, his training became more and more exhausting, and events he was unable to escape drew nearer.

his body ached from today’s combat with the swordmaster. his mind was buzzing with hundreds of thoughts, none of which were comprehensible.

sensing a presence in the dark room, he turned around only to see one of his servants.

the young girl anxiously bowed and spoke with a tremble in her voice.

“your highness, the bath is ready.”

the prince nodded slightly and shifted his attention to the aperture once again.

“next time you enter my chambers, do not forget to knock and announce yourself.”

his tone was cold and assertive, causing the girl to wince in trepidation.

“forgive me, my prince.”

the maid did not dare to raise her gaze and look at the man’s forbidding figure.

“you are dismissed.”

sunghoon listened closely for the girl’s footsteps, and only when he heard the door close did he turn around and start undressing.

he unbuttoned his black silk shirt and sauntered towards the washroom. once in front of the bath, filled with hot water, the prince fully undressed and stepped in.

sighing heavily as he felt his muscles relax, sunghoon laid back his head against the edge of the tub. his eyebrows softly twitched; his train of thought came to a screeching halt. he must wait to see what the following day has prepared for him.

“you should be glad that you have so many suitors wanting your hand in marriage, your highness!”

“suitors? do you call those immoral men suitors? they are pursuing the crown and the ascendancy that comes with it, not me!”

you softly laughed at lisa’s gullibility. lisa slowly followed behind you, choosing to abstain from replying.

the both of you were currently taking a walk in the gardens of the red keep. you promised to tell her of yesterday’s events, and so you did. but her opinion on the matter greatly differed from yours.

it was well before noon, and a meeting with your father awaited you. with time to spare before you had to present yourself in the castle, you decided to change the subject and continue your stroll to the greenhouse.

you found the king in his study, thoroughly examining a letter, clutched tightly in his hands. you stood near the entry, waiting for his acknowledgement.

after a few seconds, you timidly took a step forward.

“father, you asked for my presence.”

your soft voice broke his near stupor, making him lift his head. he looked nothing like the man he was yesterday at the dinner with the lannisters. your father’s stoic nature was evident once again, reminding you of the king he was. a good king, able to make harsh decisions at times needed.

“daughter, sit down.”

you took a seat and waited for his next words, wondering what the matter might be this time.

hopefully, not another dinner with a lord.

“i have received a letter of great importance.”

fidgeting with the hem of your dress, you stilled your breath.

the king took in your apparent agitation, a semblance of a smile flickering onto his lips.

“good news i might say. the king and crown prince of ulthos have finally made the decision to pay king’s landing a visit.”

hearing his father’s words, sunghoon showed no sign of shock, or dejection.

“when are we leaving then?”

“tomorrow, at sunrise. my master of ships has informed me that he expects the sea to be calm for the time being. the winds of winter have not picked up their strength yet.”

the king calmly took a sip of his wine, examining his son’s face.

“good. what should i be prepared for?”

chuckling, sunghoon’s father simply answered his son’s question.

“dragons.”

tittering lowly, the king did not receive any kind of response from his son. he was not in the mood for jests.

“oh! do not fret, son. the princess is said to be quite delightful.”

sunghoon did not pay mind to the king’s comment and softly exhaled.

just then, a knock was heard on the other side of the door.

“your grace, the hand wishes to speak with you.”

taking the cue to leave his father’s study, the prince stood up and bowed to the king. with a nod, he was ultimately dismissed.

sunghoon sipped the alcohol slowly, letting the bitterness engulf his taste buds.

“come on, now! you must enjoy yourself tonight, my prince.”

jake harshly patted the man’s back, prompting their other companions to howl with laughter.

sunghoon only glanced in his friend’s direction and asked.

“and why is that?”

“who knows? it might be your last. you could fall victim to the princess’s dragon! i doubt that she likes solemn men like you.”

the last part of jake’s reply did not catch the prince’s attention whatsoever.

“her dragon?”

“she is a targaryen princess, sunghoon. have you not realised that yet?”

calon said matter of factly, slightly irking sunghoon with his tone of voice.

the lad made a motion with his hand to catch the young men’s attention, making them draw nearer to him.

the only figure, which stood rooted in his place was sunghoon’s.

“there is a rumour that the egg hatched the day she was born. her dragon is quite large for her age. i wonder if the saying that targaryen women are as fierce as their dragons is true.”

another fit of laughter burst around the table. the crown prince was not happy with calon’s behaviour tonight, not failing to show it with the way his brows furrowed.

“tell me, calon. do you think you are amusing?”

calon’s smile faltered, and silence fell upon the group.

“why are you so capricious today, my prince?”

the way the title rolled off calon’s sharp tongue only fuelled sunghoon’s anger. he abruptly stood up, choosing to leave the table, but not before shooting a glare his friend’s way.

“sunghoon?”

the prince clearly heard jake’s voice calling for him, deciding to disregard him and leave the pub they entered together an hour ago.

servants were flitting around the castle, preparing for the visitants, who were to arrive soon. the floors were swept, the windows were polished, and the bushes in the gardens were trimmed to perfection.

soon enough, word spread around king’s landing and the people of the capital city battered the crown with overflowing inquiries. yet, the royal family refrained from providing the much-needed answers. at least, until the arrival of the crown of ulthos.

you did not recognise the emotion you felt when you were informed of the matter. was it relief? perhaps dismay? whatever it was, there was nothing to be done. your purpose was to become the bind between the two kingdoms and eventually bear heirs to the succeeding king.

with thoughts constantly plaguing your mind, you put down the book you were previously reading. you currently occupied a bench in the garden’s grounds, observing the servants removing the thorns of the red roses. you always wondered why they would do this if it shortened their lives. you relished in their beautiful bloom during the summer, with their thorns or not.

the princess heard footsteps drawing nearer towards where she sat. the voice that spoke out was perfectly familiar.

“your highness, i am sorry to disturb you.”

your servant annora, stood a few meters to your left, bowing ninety degrees at your figure.

turning your body slightly in her direction, you smiled warmly at the young girl.

she is always so dear and sweet.

“i am all ears, annora.”

reciprocating your beam, the servant allowed herself to walk closer to your body.

“you must pick your gown for the welcoming of ulthos’s royal family.”

oh! was that it?

“and his grace announced that he will be holding a jamboree for the king and crown prince the day they arrive.”

oh.

“did he state anything else on that matter?”

annora stayed silent for a few seconds, seemingly in thought.

“as far as i am aware, no, your highness.”

you nodded your head, turning your back to her and grasping the tome in your hands once again.

“very well. i will make my choice later today. thank you for informing me.”

despite your inability to see her movements, annora curtsied once more and took her leave.

they would reach the blackwater bay tomorrow if your calculations were correct, that is. which meant you had little time to prepare. both mentally and physically.

you continued with your reading, your mind preoccupied, causing you to feel as if the letters were moving of their own accord.

seems like today is not the day for reading.

“are you thrilled by the news, my dear sister?”

aegon chuckled, awaiting your reply, while sipping his dornish red wine.

you were currently attending the wonted supper, chewing the roasted carrots you opted for tonight.

aemond’s snicker only doubled your vexation. the loud clang of your silver fork against the rim of your plate silenced the two men, turning their attention to you.

you quickly turned your head towards the younger of the two, the sneer in your tone sharp like valyrian steel.

“what is so amusing to you, little brother?”

“children! do not spoil our family gathering!”

it was clear your father was weary of your bickering. his only desire was for his children to behave well and at least tolerate each other.

silence draped over the room like a velvet curtain, muffling even the clinking of the silverware.

you felt aemond’s stoic glare following your movements. as you looked at him, your eyes shivered with a mixture of anger and indignation. you never understood his ferocity, nor his motives.

your chair emitted a prolonged screeching noise as it dragged against the floor.

“i will take my leave now, father. i must prepare for tomorrow.”

you swiftly curtsied, giving your brothers a sidelong glance.

your father’s calls of your name went unanswered, and after the doors closed behind you, you bolted for your chambers, enervated from today’s circumstances, dreading tomorrow’s arrival.

after the princess awoke from her deep slumber, she lay motionless in her tangled sheets, eyes tightly closed and mind ground on the troubling events that were to occur. she did not know what to expect from the future, and the unknown rooted fear deep in her heart.

a pound startled aerea, making her slightly jump up from her position.

“your highness, are you awake?”

lisa’s head peeked out from the ajar door, a sigh escaping aerea’s lips.

the princess’s lady-in-waiting walked to her bed and sat next to aerea’s dainty figure. taking your warm hands in her own, lisa held them softly, her lips quirking into a warm smile. she sensed your unrest, knowing you like the back of her hand.

“i have always been fascinated by your strength. remember when the king forbade you to ride syrax, because of her fierce nature? nonetheless, you sneaked into the dragon’s pit and rode her for hours in that summer storm.”

you chuckled at the memory of your troubled adolescence.

“you possess a great strength of will, rea. you are a dragon. do not forget that.”

with renewed vigour, you took in lisa’s hands in your own, a gentle smile budding on your lips.

“i will not. i promise.”

your friend embraced you in a soothing hug, making you realise the immense pain you will suffer when you depart from each other. perhaps, you should take her with you?

“now! you should eat your first meal of the day and start the preparations.”

“chop-chop! we do not have much time.”

laughing at her antics, you untangle yourself from the silky white sheets and rise to your feet.

“i will have your breakfast served here, your highness. i will be back shortly.”

lisa turned on her heel towards the door but briskly changed her mind. she spun in your direction and pointed her finger at you.

“and i better not see you in your bed when i return.”

“is this a threat, lady massey?”

you could not help the smirk that lifted the edges of your mouth and barely held in your laughter.

“take it as you will, princess.”

and with that, she was out of your chambers, leaving you to wash yourself before breakfast came.

shortly after you ate your meal, countless maids entered your bedroom to perform their duty of catering to your needs.

first and foremost, they styled your hair in a traditional targaryen coiffure. they deemed it fit to put some pink powder on your pale skin in hopes of bringing some colour to your face. afterwards, the servants kindly helped you get in your red gown, the long transparent veil sweeping around your figure on the stone flooring. the dress fit you like a glove, the material was soft to the touch, and the added royal jewellery was a sure indication of your status.

“you look divine, your highness.”

hearing lisa’s feathery voice, you turned to see that the two of you were left alone in the room. you hadn’t realised the absence of the other maids. surely, you were out of your head.

your lips stretched into a thin smile.

“thank you, lisa.”

the girl walked to you and embraced you in a solemn hug. she knew you too well for her not to see through your facade. you felt uneasy, and anyone with eyes to see would detect it immediately.

her soft lips pecked you gently on your forehead. you closed your eyes for a moment, grateful that you were gifted with such a precious companion.

“i will leave you now. we will see each other after the celebration. yes?”

you mindlessly hummed in reply, letting go of lisa’s warm hand and saying your goodbyes.

exhaling softly, aerea observed her reflection in the gold-framed mirror.

i look…adequate.

shaking her head, she turned away and stepped to the door, ready to open it.

it is not my duty to be pleasing to the eyes of men.

the guards stationed on the other side of the doorway escorted you to the royal carriage, which was to take you to the port of blackwater bay.

the king was already waiting for his daughter inside, his brows furrowed deeply, his aggravation evident.

sitting next to your father, you queried the matter, which had put him in a temper.

“your brothers decided to stay in the red keep and welcome our dear guests there.”

in reply, you huffed out a short laugh. scanning the streets of king’s landing through the small window, you started picking at the skin around your fingernails. a habit you should have rooted out long ago.

“i am not even the slightest bit surprised by their insolence.”

your father’s silence troubled you, but the road to the bay was short, and you had to ground yourself before you had to step out of this enclosure.

before you realised it, the horse’s trotting halted, signalling your arrival.

your father exited the carriage, you taking your turn after him. he extended his hand to help you down the little steps, you lifting your gown with your left fist.

two maids and a great many white cloaks stood in front of you, waiting to serve you.

the servants took your long veil in their hands, lifting it over the dirty ground.

next to your father’s side, you sauntered towards the port.

your eyes skimmed the horizon, quickly noticing the huge ship sailing your way. an enormous flag danced in the wind, a head of an open-mouthed wolf with its sharp teeth showing.

any moment now, they will throw the anchor and set foot on westeros land.

you stilled your breath; the crew of the royal ship secured the gangplank to the dock.

multiple guards went ashore, moving in formations with their black cloaks fluttering in the breeze.

you held your composure well, not even the slightest shift was evident on your face.

the king of ulthos walked down the railway, his dark royal uniform shining under the sunlight.

your father shook hands with the man as if with an old friend.

your attention was drawn by the other figure setting foot on your land.

so this must be the crown prince.

the tall, pale man stood to his father’s right side, not daring to make eye contact with you.

“welcome to westeros, king jihoon.”

the waves of the calm sea kept crashing against the shore, the laughing gulls flying above the azure waters.

“it is a pleasure, king daeron.”

aerea glanced at the outlandish man, fortuitously meeting his slanted eyes.

daeron turned to his offspring, smiling affirmatively at her.

“my daughter and heir, princess aerea.”

the girl felt stupefied by her father’s proclamation, clearly befuddled at the newly appointed position.

heir? what is the meaning of this?

aerea stepped forward, bowing to the royalty before her.

“it is an honour, your grace.”

king jihoon laughed heartily, taking rea’s arm in his cold hands, making her stand up from the uncomfortable stance she was in.

“there is no need for such acts, princess.”

fixing her posture, she smiled restlessly, a hard line around her lips.

do they not show respect in ulthos? what kind of customs do they have there?

the man turned his head to the right, signalling his son to come to the fore.

“my son, sunghoon. the future king of ulthos.”

this time, you took your time basking in his appearance.

well, he is charming at the very least.

you started your inspection from his raven-dark hair, a few strands falling gently on his forehead, continued to his full eyebrows that framed his face so beautifully, then…

he was already looking at you, a triumphant smirk playing at the corners of his luscious lips.

clearing your throat, your right eyebrow twitched; you were absolutely astonished by your foolish mistake.

first meeting, and i already let myself feed his ego.

sunghoon showed his respect to you and your father and returned by his father’s side.

“now, it is time to celebrate your arrival. i have prepared a wonderful surprise, king jihoon.”

“splendid! lead the way, your grace!”

when the royal carriages arrived at the red keep, the small council greeted the king and crown prince of ulthos, your half-brothers present with them.

the feast was about to begin in the gardens of the castle, lords from all of westeros coming to see the outlandish royals and fill their bellies.

you did not think the time to speak with your father was right, adjourning the matter for later.

men filled their mouths with arbor gold wine and dined on duck sausages, while their wives gossiped and indulged in lemon cakes.

you stood near a small table, surrounded by ladies of some of the major houses in the kingdom, not bothering to listen to their witless conversations. until one part of it caught your full attention.

“don’t you think the crown prince is ravishing to look at? he looks quite exotic to me.”

a prolonged series of giggles erupted, causing you to finally join in.

“elaborate on exotic, lady redwyne?”

the blonde-haired woman was stunned by your defensive tone, stammering while replying.

“i did not mean any…offence, your highness.”

you hummed, fixing your gaze on sunghoon’s figure on the opposite side, chattering with a young man, you presumed from his kingdom.

“i am sure you did not. just…wrong choice of words.”

you looked at the young lady, an epitome of vanity standing right in front of you, your intimidating stare making her clench her jaw. you waited for a retort; however, not even a sound could be heard from the gossipmonger.

the tension around the group was evident, prompting you to go somewhere else, where you wouldn’t obstruct their palaver.

“if you excuse me.”

taking your leave, you ambled towards the rosarium. you doubted anyone was there, which meant you would have a moment of solitude.

right then, king daeron seized the moment by raising his glass, gathering the attention of the lords and ladies. everyone stood in silence to hear the king’s toast.

“everyone…we are assembled here today to celebrate events that will change the trajectory of our history. my daughter���”

his chalice was pointed in your direction, heads turned to you, the prime subject of everyone’s heed.

“my daughter and crown prince sunghoon, future king of ulthos are to marry and form an union that will bring our two kingdoms closer together. princess rhaenyra will rule the seven kingdoms and ulthos as the rightful queen of the iron throne alongside prince sunghoon!”

a string of awes and clapping followed, confusion and revelation swirling in your mind. your smile was uncertain; inside, your thoughts were filled with fear and raw emotions; you were unable to demonstrate at the moment.

as you looked up, you saw the two graces embracing each other in a celebratory clasp; sunghoon stood beside them as if waiting for you to make a move.

you beamed at the gentlefolk, all of whom gave you their best wishes.

your father could not see you among the crowd, worry starting to gnaw at him.

unluckily for you, sunghoon saw where you were going just when you turned on your heel and fled the celebration.

the princess was sat on a settee in the rosarium, looking into the abyss that was the now dark sky. she did not catch the approaching footsteps of her fiancé, too deep in thought.

“got startled?”

a gasp left her mouth; she yanked her head in the direction of the unfamiliar deep voice, not even supposing who it belonged to.

aerea straightened herself, clearing her parched throat.

“excuse me?”

sunghoon chuckled at her reply, stepping a bit closer to her figure.

“you chose the wrong moment to run away, princess.”

she sensed his haughty tone, crossing her hands in front of her chest in a defensive mode.

definitely not a good second impression, given he was dead silent earlier today.

“and why is that, prince sunghoon?”

his name felt foreign on her tongue, a bitter feeling creeping up her body.

“that is a silly question.”

“are you insulting me?”

rea didn’t remember him being so close to her, just an arm’s distance away. it seems she was so caught up in the argument, she didn’t feel herself inching closer to him.

should i just slap him? put him in his place and show him that no man can talk to me with that tone?

no! aggression is never the answer, aerea.

he was enjoying himself so much, he couldn’t help the smirk lurking on his lips.

“i never meant to insult you.”

sighing, sunghoon looked around the garden you were in, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

“i am afraid we didn’t start on the best terms. it would be better for us to be cooperative. don’t you agree, your highness?”

you gazed to your side, thinking for a short moment.

he is right. but how do i agree without seeming submissive?

while you were fighting your internal battle, sunghoon took his time eyeing you from head to toe. you were beautiful; there was no denying it. but your attitude was quite…aggravating. that would be a hindrance for him.

“there is some truth behind your words… if we want for this marriage to be, uh...fortunate, we should be on speaking terms. at least?”

speaking terms? is that what she wants?

sunghoon ran a hand through his face, clearly perplexed by your words.

you huffed, his demonstrations offending you more than you liked.

he looked you dead in the eyes, no emotion behind them except maybe for a speck of annoyance.

“as you wish.”

you nodded your head and returned to your seat, expecting him to go away and leave you alone so you could curse him under your breath all you want. but he stood rooted to his place, huffing out a breath.

“how long are you going to stay here?”

“however much i want.”

your tone was sharp, teetering his mere vexation to infuriation.

he stood before you, extending his hand.

“come. we must return together.”

you gazed up to see some kind of tenderness in his look.

without a word, you grasped his much larger hand, a shiver running through your spine.

his skin is so cold.

standing up, you hooked your arm around his, your head on a level with his shoulder.

with your fiancé by your side, you were ready to return to the hawks that were the lords and ladies of the seven kingdoms.

[notemojustsad21]

Do you have any interesting/rare out of pocket headcanons for the batfam?

Monopoly’s banned in the house. They all played it once and it went so horrible that they’re not even allowed to bring it up because it starts arguments.

Also this is another one because I just like to yap.

I love me the one where they all have their own ways to show that they’re safe when comms are down or they just need to communicate and it’s like they each have their own little call. I’ve seen two different versions of this one where they had animal calls and one where they all had their own numbers and when something happened they’d yell their numbers in order.

[wlwloverwrites]

i’ve been writing so much. i don’t want to jinx, but it makes me happy i can put out fics for y’all!

[pkmn-smashorpass]

I may only have 1,000 followers but they’re the most dedicated folks I’ve ever seen

[suddenmojo]

I am SO happy to have found other Warhammer 40k girlies on here. I rly thought I was alone in my delusions but then I remembered this hellsite exists and thank god it does bc y’all are feeding me SO GOOD w ur fics and art….just know im a little goblin in the dark corner cheering y’all on

might inspire some doodles from me who knows

[whumpy-wyrms]

hey how’s the next chapter of tllr coming along ?

hi anon!

honestly i feel like it’s around 70% done (at 4k words, it’s gonna be a long one lols). but honestly i’ve had like no motivation to write at all for the last couple weeks :( i’m trying tho

some encouragement would be nice i feel.. i Know my writing is good but my brain is making me think it’s shit >:( i hate feeling this way about the stuff i make

[midoristeashop]

hello I am obsessed with your recent httyd screencap art is it okay if I use it as my computer wallpaper?

Go for it! Wasn’t too sure if that post would get around too much so I would have had better panels 😭 ty for asking, and that goes for anyone else if you’d like to use it <3

[alwritey-aphrodite]

The next person who asks me about You Are In Love is getting sacrificed to the old gods

[yoohyeon]

Mutuals based on the group I stans, what group should I stan next ? 🤔

[familymeansnoonegetsleftbehind]

Wow I’m really surprised! I thought for sure wincest sweep would be real but Hannigram pulled the turnover! Congrats to Hannigram for winning the Problematic Ship Tournament!

I’ve got some questions so I’d like to answer a couple now that everything is done!

“Do you vote for what’s the most problematic or what’s the best ship?” I’m so sorry to whoever commented this bc I can’t reply on a side blog! It was what ship you liked the most! Ik it’s too late but hey maybe another will be made sometime?

“X ship isn’t problematic” this was big today for Hannigram. I’m not here to say what is or isn’t problematic bc you can make a case for most ships being problematic, idk a lot of the ships that were on here but I just looked at some of the ones that seemed to show up the most in problematic ship tags.

“Why wasn’t X ship on here?” As said before, some of these ships are just ones that I found in problematic ship tags, I tried to get a range of ships so it wasn’t all one note. I’m sorry some popular ships slipped my mind while I was making this tournament, and I’m sorry if your favorite ship wasn’t on here!

I want to say another congrats to Hannigram believers, congrats to everyone who voted, and a huge thank you to everyone who interacted! This was all in good fun and I hope y’all had fun along with me! I’m sad that some Hannigram shippers reblogged being rude to Wincest shippers, that was not my intention at all and I hope my fellow problematic shippers have a great day! <3

Have a lovely week!

I want to say another congrats to Hannigram believers, congrats to everyone who voted, and a huge thank you to everyone who interacted! This was all in good fun and I hope y’all had fun along with me! I’m sad that some Hannigram shippers reblogged being rude to Wincest shippers, that was not my intention at all and I hope my fellow problematic shippers have a great day! <3

I’m sad that some Hannigram shippers reblogged being rude to Wincest shippers, that was not my intention at all and I hope my fellow problematic shippers have a great day! <3

I’m sad to see some Hannigram shippers reblogged to be rude to Wincest shippers, that was not my intention at all and I hope all my fellow problematic shippers have a great day! <3

I’m sad to see how some people took this finale and reblogged it being rude to wincest shippers, it was not my intention at all and I hope all fellow problematic shippers a great day! <3

I want to say another congratulations for Hannigram winning! I hope y’all have a great day, this was certainly a fun two weeks for me and I hope it was for you all too! <3

[pebblume]

some lovely people have pointed out that i missed this one in the lineup! there’s also a more rendered version that i did for day one here :)

chilshi week day 5: cuddling + kiss

stills under the cut!

[gracieheartspedro]

For Cryin’ Out Loud

pairing: post-outbreak! joel miller x fem!reader

how to help the palestinians and what it means to write for the last of us characters

word count: 7.9k

description: living with joel is complicated, especially when you can’t sleep due to nightmares. when you find yourself in his bed, you can’t help yourself. but joel sure can. give him a day to mull it over.

warnings: pretty slow burn, kinda forced proximity, kinda angsty, unspecified age gap (don’t like it, don’t read it), joel gives you tons of nicknames (darlin’, kiddo, etc.), discussions of nightmares and possible mental illnesses, some fluff, reader isn’t really described, joel is kinda a gaslighter, he’s also a bit pervy, unprotected p in v (wrap it y’all), oral (f! receiving), dirty talk, joel like worships you!!!!!, joel licks his fingers clean, giving genitalia pronouns, joel’s a big boy. think that’s it. lemme know what I missed!

author’s note: I really enjoyed writing this. the idea is pretty simple but I love domestic jackson!joel. I promise i’ll try to switch it up soon and write something that isn’t jackson!era lol. support your fav fics by reblogging and commenting!! thanks love ya <3

For some reason, you always find yourself standing at the threshold of the front door when you cannot sleep. 

The air was especially brisk tonight. You wrapped yourself in a gray chunky sweater you found in the lost and found in Jackson’s thrift store, hoping to regain some warmth. Your bed may have been comfortable, but it was the place where nightmares usually plagued you. 

It was too late to be awake, and you knew that if you were caught, you would hear it from Joel. He always reprimanded you. Every time he caught you up late, it was like your father woke up and found your hand in the cookie jar. 

The dynamic between you two had changed since arriving in Jackson, and you almost resented him for it. When it was just you, him, and Ellie, you were managing a family unit. Joel was always the protective father, you being the mom or the voice of reason, and Ellie being chaos. 

When Ellie and Joel’s relationship shifted, he took on a fatherly role for you. It bothered you. A lot. 

In a moment of contemplation, you hear footsteps coming down the steps behind you. 

He’s wearing flannel pajama pants and no shirt, his hairy tummy something you did not see often. 

“What are you doing awake?” He questions, his voice groggy with a twinge of annoyance. 

You do not feel like explaining yourself, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to get out of this situation without a justification. 

You huff, leaning your back against the door frame so you can get a full look at the broad man. “Can’t sleep. Thought staring into the darkness would help.”

He grunts, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “How’s that workin’ for you, sweetheart?”

You could not close your eyes without the haunting dreams that seemed lively and so real. Every night, you had the same recurring ones. You were being chased, hunted, or murdered. Or all of the above. You would wake in a cold sweat, not wanting to shut your eyelids ever again. 

“Hm,” You say, staring back outside for a brief moment, “‘Was better when you weren’t looking over my shoulder.”

He chuckles, “Get back to bed.”

“I can’t, Joel.”

“You can and will. You’re no good when you’re tired.”

“If I close my eyes, Joel, I will just have the same goddamn nightmares I have every night. And I will end up doing what I’m doing now, which is trying to get some fresh air to forget them.”

“You’re not gonna forget ‘em with some fresh air. You just need to… get over them.”

The breeze picks up as soon as he says it, almost like the world knew the tension would have to be broken with some frigid air. You retort with, “And how do you get over yours?”

"I just accept them," he says, a hint of defensiveness in his tone. "I don't have time to dwell on them. There's always more important things to worry about."

"I'm more tired in the morning when I just endure them." You explain, trying not to cry about it. But you are so sick of them. The same thing every night.

“I get it. One day they will subside, I’m sure of it. But for now, you gotta-”

You just want him to shut up. At the same time, your mind is trying to remember the last time you did not have a nightmare. The memory makes your stomach churn. “You remember that one time we were forced to share that sleeping bag? Back in Pittsburgh?”

“Yeah,” His tone was wary, “What about it?”

"That was the first night I didn't have it." You explain, your voice a bit shaking at the insinuation. You don’t want to face the fact that Joel, the man that you have known for going on 10 years, kept your nightmares at bay. The same man who continuously rejected you and told you that he was old enough to be your dad. The same man that told you no, I don’t like you like that. I never will. That Joel. 

“And? Why are you bringing this up now?”

"Because every night I go to my bed and I'm forced to face them alone. When you were there... they didn't even bother holding my mind hostage.”

He took another step closer, closing some of the distance between you two. He towers over you and you can’t help but stare up at him in awe. Joel has always been a complicated part of your life. You consider him your sexual awakening, honestly, but he will never ever know that. Over the years, he’s only gotten more handsome. 

But now, he has a curious expression written all over his face.

"Are you saying you want to share a bed with me?" he asks, his voice gruff and low.

You suck in a deep breath, not wanting to answer. You knew that was stepping over a boundary for Joel. He liked his space. He didn’t like you impeding on that space, especially. Your bedroom was the furthest away from his for a reason.

"I don't know." You manage to say.

Joel's gaze darkened, his expression was completely unreadable. You wish you could read his mind, but you should be grateful you can not. 

Because in Joel’s mind, he’s trying to formulate a way to convince you to stay away from him altogether. The wall he has built over the last decade was intentional. He did not want to hurt you any further. He already knew you had feelings for him, but he was an old man. He did not want to drag you into his mess, all the baggage he carried. He looked after you, he shared a home with you, and that’s it. Strictly platonic. 

He shifted on his feet a little, unable to tear his eyes away from you. You shook like a little leaf.

"You don't know?" he repeated, his voice a low rumble.

You nod, "I don't know if I want that."

You do want that. But you want more, too. You knew you would be playing with fire. You would just be disappointed. 

Joel’s temptations are buried deep but they still fester every now and again. Some days he would catch a glance at you getting dressed in the crack of your door and have to take a cold shower. As soon as he felt those emotions bubble in his chest, he would try to distract himself. Maybe he would take a longer patrol. Maybe he would go to the Tipsy Bison and try to find a woman to take home. That one never really worked. 

“Well, what do you want then? Because standin’ at the door and letting all the cold air in ain’t gonna work for me or you.”

You look down at your picked-over fingernails and contemplate your next sentence. You don't want to be heartbroken in the morning when you wake up and he's there sleeping peacefully next to you and you're not... his.

"I want to sleep with you."

Joel was not expecting such a blunt response from you, but he appreciated you not beating around the bush about it. He gestures for you to step out of the doorway so he can shut the door, which you do. 

He looked down at you, his eyes raking over your face, taking in the exhaustion and uncertainty. 

"You sure?" he asked, his voice a gruff whisper.

You just nod as he locks the front door. You couldn’t believe you were doing this. 

Joel couldn’t believe it either. Maybe it was the tiredness or the instincts he felt to protect you, but he was not mad at the idea of sharing his bed with you. 

You signal for him to go upstairs, “You lead the way.”

-

Joel’s room was always off-limits to you. So when you step into his small little world, you take it all in. 

The artwork around the room was mainly nature landscapes. He had a big dresser right at the room's entrance with picture frames of Sarah, Ellie, and other family members. You were even included in one photo—a picture of you and him on some horses from last year. 

A shirt littered one side of the bed, so you took that as it was probably his side. Unfortunately for you, it was the right side. You felt a pang of guilt realizing you would probably end up restlessly lying in Joel’s bed if you were stuck on the left. 

Before he can pull back the blanket for himself, you stop him. 

“Uh, can I sleep on that side?”

He completely halts in his motions, turning his head towards you with a blank expression. “My side? Why?”

You lick your lips, already regretting this whole thing. 

“Because I have had this superstition since I was a kid that I could only sleep on the right side of the bed."

Joel wants to laugh, but he doesn’t. He can tell you are at war in your head about the question, your expression practically anticipating his rejection. 

"Superstitions, huh?" he said, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips."You and your weird beliefs."

You watch as he crosses to the other side of the bed and lifts the blanket. Is he actually letting you have his side? Maybe he doesn’t hate you. 

“You could also call it a compulsion, but superstitions seem more fun and less like a mental illness.”

He laughs this time, his deep chuckle making you feel a bit more relaxed about the situation. You did not feel like a burden as much. You walk to the right side and pull back his navy blue sheets and blanket. The spot looks warm and inviting so when you crawl in next to Joel, you start to realize that you’re back in the same situation you were in years ago in that sleeping bag. He was so close and warm and you wanted nothing more but for him to hold you and keep you comfortable.

But then another thing came to mind before you could imagine his arms around you. 

You usually sleep on your right side or back, but now you don't know what to do because you didn't know how Joel slept.

"Do you sleep on your side or back?"

Joel studies you as you fidget beside him, your uncertainty causing him to smirk slightly. It was almost endearing, seeing you be completely out of control of your surroundings. He remembers back when you were traveling with him you had an obsessive need to straighten up everything before you fell asleep. You had to roll yourself up in your sleeping bag the same way every night. 

"Usually on my back," he said finally. "But I can sleep on my side, too."

You swallow, trying to picture yourself sleeping. For some reason you felt the urge to have control of the situation, dictating exactly how he has to sleep, too. "Can I... I'll sleep on my side if you can sleep on your back? Is that okay?"

Joel had to suppress a smirk at your request. You knew he was trying to hold back a snarky remark. Instead, he surprises you.

"Sure, you can sleep on your side," he agreed, shifting his body weight onto his back, "’n I'll sleep on my back. No big deal."

You turn to face him, tucking the pillow further under your head. You can tell his eyes are heavy from exhaustion. You know it's time to shut up, to go to sleep, but you feel the need to say something else to him. Sometimes your brain concocts questions and statements and you know you shouldn’t say them, but your mouth betrays you.  

"When was the last time you had a girl in your bed?"

Why the fuck would you ask that? You think to yourself. It fell out of your mouth like drool.

Joel's eyes widened at your blunt question, surprise and a hint of embarrassment coloring his expression. You knew he was probably just expecting you to lay here next to him, maybe roll around a bit, then sleep. But instead, it’s an interrogation.

He took a deep breath, his mind rattling around as he tried to think of a response. He didn't want to admit what his genuine answer was to you, but he too could not help himself.

"Why do you want to know that?" he asks, his voice steely.

You hate that he even responded because now you needed to defend yourself.

"I uh, don't know. I don't know why it matters."

Joel chuckled softly, noting that you probably just had a case of word vomit. You always told him you were infamous for putting your foot in your mouth, especially in awkward situations.

"Curiosity got the better of you, huh?" he asks, rubbing his face with his hands. “You just can’t help yourself, sweetheart.”

He shifted slightly, rolling onto his side to face you, his gaze studying your expression.

You smirk, grateful that he's letting it slide. When he turns onto his side and he's at eye level with you, your face drops a bit. He is ruining the vision in your head. He’s throwing a wrench in your plans.

"You're supposed to be on your back, sir."

Joel couldn't help but chuckle softly at your comment. He knew he was supposed to be on his back, but the new angle allowed him to see you better in the faint moonlight.

"Don't worry," he said, a hint of humor in his voice. "I'll turn back over in a minute. Just... enjoying the view for a bit."

You roll your eyes, lifting your hands from under the covers and lightly hitting his arm. You knew he was just fucking with you now. 

"Okay, for that, I want to know the answer to my stupid question."

Joel let out a low laugh, the sound rumbling deep in his chest. He shook his head, amused by your persistence. You start to think about it and you have never really seen him bring anyone home. Maybe it had been a very long time and he was embarrassed. 

"Alright, alright," he said, a hint of resignation in his voice. "Last time I had a girl in my bed..."

He paused for a moment, his eyes dropping to the covers, his mind racing to find the right words.

"Go on..."

Joel took another deep breath, his voice dropping even lower as he spoke.

"It's been a long time, kiddo," he admitted, his voice pierced with a bit of shame. "Almost ten years, if I'm being honest."

Your eyes widen in surprise. "No way... You've never just... got it on with someone in bed?"

Joel's face flushed with embarrassment at your blunt question, a mix of shock and slight irritation flashing across his eyes.

"Jesus, you really don't hold back, do ya?" he muttered. He shifts a bit, trying to get comfortable in a different way. He hadn't expected the conversation to turn so personal, so quickly and he did not want to face you anymore. He was mortified. 

You mentally slap yourself in the face.

"I'm sorry, I am just tired and delusional. Uh, you don't have to answer that."

Joel could practically feel the humiliation radiating off you and he too felt the exact same way. You knew how to add to an already awkward situation.

"No, no, it's fine," he reassured you, his voice a bit gentler now. "I get it. You're tired, and your filter has taken a backseat."

"Yeah, exactly..."

He shifted on the bed, turning onto his back again, his gaze shifting to the ceiling, avoiding your curious stare.

You could not help but stare at his side profile. A prominent straight nose. His downturned lips are surrounded by some fine lines that show his age. He was a beautiful man now, but you can’t help but imagine him back in his 20s. He had to have been a hit with the ladies back then.

Joel could feel your gaze on him, studying his face. And while you were not scrutinizing him, he felt like a commodity in a museum or something.  He forced himself to keep his gaze on the ceiling, refusing to meet your eyes.

"So… ten years and no sex?”

You could seriously, not help yourself.

"Correct.” He grumbles, still not meeting your stare.

"Damn, Joel." You mutter, adjusting a bit to sit up a little more on your pillow. "I seriously thought you were sleeping around the whole time we have been in Jackson.”

He finally turns your way, a bit of offense on his face. “Why would you think that?”

You shrug, not wanting to insult him. But that’s how you formulated your grudge towards him. It was easy to just chalk everything up to problems with random women you have seen around town. 

“You just give off the energy…”

“What?”

You huff, laying back on the pillow. “I don’t know, Joel! I feel like when I’m around you all the ladies think you’re handsome. They stare.”

“They are staring because you’re always following me around and we aren’t married or… together. They think we are odd.” 

You had never heard such things around Jackson, but it does sort of make sense. Everyone was probably just confused because you two lived together but were not a couple. You can admit it is bizarre, but it just did not feel like an option any other way, in your mind. So Tommy gave you two a bigger house and you set up separate rooms. 

But in actuality, Joel secretly told Tommy that he did not want you too far from him. So when Tommy couldn’t give you any other houses nearby, Joel just told him that you two would be roommates.

“Well fuck ‘em.” You mutter, trying not to sound too offended by the thought of people gossiping about you two.

Joel just nods. You settle by tucking your arm under your pillow. You yawn, the exhaustion now taking over your body. You watch Joel grab a pair of reading glasses from the side table and a book. You decide not to bother him, especially because he probably wanted to just read himself to sleep instead of being interrogated by you any further.

You close your eyes and eventually fall asleep. The deeper you get, Joel notices how your breathing pattern changes. When he’s finally ready to get some shut-eye as well, he watches as your body crawls closer to him. Your arm swings over his stomach and rests on his forearm. He is so shocked he does not move a muscle. 

You adjust some more, not knowing what you are doing. Your leg creeps up and tucks right between his. You snuggle your face right into his chest. The only movement Joel decides to make is slinging his arm over your shoulders to pull you in tighter. 

It’s the first time in years that you two slept soundly, with no interruptions. No nightmares, no sudden intrusions, nothing. Silence and snores fill the room and that’s it.

-

When you wake up, it’s slow and gradual. Your brain hardly computes that you’re laying on top of Joel’s shirtless frame, until your hand runs across his warm tummy. 

You crook your neck up, looking at the handsome man you are spreading across. 

His lips are slightly ajar, letting out hardly-there snores. They are so pretty and pink and you cannot help but touch them with feather-like fingertips. You would feel so guilty waking him up-

His eyes slowly open taking notice of your actions even though you tried not to stir him. Your eyes fly open in shock, but he does not seem very annoyed. He smiles. 

“Mornin’ darlin’,” He says in a deep sleep-laced voice. You smile back at him, loving that he decided to call you the nickname you always got giddy over. You press your fingers into his chest before replying.

“I didn’t have a nightmare.”

His hand comes up from your shoulders and tucks some hair behind your ear as he stares down at you, “That’s good kiddo. I’m glad you slept well.”

The intimacy is almost too much. The way this is how it would be if you woke up to Joel every morning. It sends your brain into overdrive and you force yourself to ruin it a bit.

“Woulda slept even better if you didn’t talk so much in your sleep.”

Joel froze for a moment, his cheeks immediately flushing pink with embarrassment. He sits up a bit more, adjusting to the brighter lighting in his room. He knew he had a problem with talking in his sleep. Ellie used to talk about it all the time. He dreaded hearing what he was saying while curled up next to you.

"Uh... what did I say?" he asked, trying to maintain his composure.

"Something about it felt so good to be pressed up against someone, I don't know..." 

You could not help yourself and started to laugh. You knew you were going to get a rise out of him. 

Joel's face flushed an even deeper shade of pink as you started to laugh, clearly amused by your joke. He could feel his heart racing in his chest, his mind racing as he tried to come up with an excuse. He was just dreaming, it was not about you. 

"W-what?" he spluttered out instead of making an excuse. "I didn't... I didn't say anything like that."

You have a shit-eating grin on your face and you press your hands on his chest to prop yourself up. You enjoyed watching him squirm.

Joel's eyes flickered down to your hands on his chest. He sickly thought they felt so right placed there. He imagined what you would look like fully mounting him. 

He tried to keep his expression neutral, but you could see through his stone-cold exterior.

"You're messing with me, aren't you?" he grumbled, a hint of suspicion in his voice.

"Fully fuckin' with you." You giggle, hoping he is not really that mad at you. 

“You’re a brat.”

You move your foot slightly, running it up his leg. It sends shockwaves up his body, having you so close and moving around so seamlessly. 

"No, you said something about how beautiful, alluring, and incredible I am. Said I was the girl of your dreams…"

"Yeah, right," he said, a hint of playful sarcasm in his voice. "You expect me to believe that?"

"So, you don't believe me?"

"No, I don't believe you," he says, his voice stern but playful. "I think you're a dirty little liar, trying to play me for a fool."

"A dirty little liar, huh? Well, it's good to know that you don't think I'm beautiful, alluring, and incredible." You giggle at his acknowledgment, knowing he caught you red-handed.

"Oh, I never said that," he smirked, a hint of teasing in his voice. "You are all of those things, darlin’. But you're also a dirty little liar who likes to play games."

"So you think I'm beautiful?" You crack, the biggest smile painted on your face. You don’t even care that he’s calling you a liar because it does not matter. Joel thinks you are beautiful. 

“‘Course I do.”

You push yourself up onto your butt, sitting crisscross next to him. He secretly wishes you were still curled up on top of him. 

“You always this nice in the morning?” You ponder, your fingertips starting to toy with the hair on his stomach. He tries not to pay mind to it, letting you have full access to touch him. 

But it’s driving him insane. The way you look freshly woken up, completely enamored with the idea of him calling you beautiful. You have some puffiness under your eyes and your lips are more swollen than usual.

“I am always nice to you.”

You let out a scoff, “No, you’re not.”

He notices the shift in your tone and starts to get defensive, “Now you’re just lyin’.” 

Joel always loved to gaslight you in these situations. You knew better than to let him get away with it, especially now. “No there was that one time you told me you did not like me and that you would never like me. How you are old enough to be my dad-”

“Because I am!”

And there’s the wall. The only constant in you two’s relationship. He was so good at throwing it up when feelings were being expressed. When vulnerability was presented, Joel could not help but reject it. 

“And the world’s fuckin’ ended, Joel! Big deal!” You almost yell, moving your hands from him. 

Why does he already miss your hands?

He huffs, crossing his arms over his soft chest. “We have had this conversation for the last 10 years.’M not sure why we keep rehashing it.”

“And every time you turn me down it’s another fuckin’ stab in the heart.”

“You know why we can’t,” He practically growls. You can not stand to even look at him anymore with your bitterness and irritation taking over. 

“Whatever, Joel.” 

As soon as you say it, you’re already leaving his room and heading to your own. When you slam the door, you hope you have made your point. You want to scream and punch a hole in the wall, but instead you just furiously stomp around the room and grab your clothes. You had patrol at noon, so you needed to get to the mess hall before breakfast was over. You try not to cry as you strip down and get dressed.

Joel sits in bed, reeling. He hates that it has become a conversation every six months. He hated that rejecting you always sent you into a spiral of hating him for extended periods. It’s not that he did not want you, it was simply just not in the cards. He was too old to be in love. He was too old to play house with you. He just could not submit to the idea of leading you on, especially because you had so much more life to live. 

He finally works up the courage to get out of bed and put on some clothes. He opts for putting on his typical jeans and thick flannel. It was getting colder and he knew by the end of the winter, you would end up with half his flannels anyway, so he had to enjoy them while he had them. 

You storm downstairs, going to the back door for your boots when you spot him in the kitchen. 

“You got pat-”

“Yes.” You respond quickly, shoving your foot into your shoes. He stands behind you with a mug full of tea, watching your every move. 

“Who are you-”

“Jesse.”

He was asking his usual questions, which you were not in the mood to answer. 

“Hey, can you-”

You snap your head back at him, giving him the glare you gave him as a warning usually. By now, he takes it as a hint and backs off. But not this time. 

“Can I what?”

He rolls his eyes, “Can you fuckin’ not be a brat about this?”

You wish your glare came with knives. If that were the case, Joel Miller would be dead on his kitchen floor. 

You are so thrown off by the question that you just watch him get angrier when you do not respond. 

“Are you serious, right now?” You press, keeping your voice from cracking. 

He brings the mug up to his mouth, taking an obnoxious sip. When he pulls the mug away, you notice how steaming it is. “You always pull this shit-”

“No, you do! You do this shit to me every fuckin’ time, Joel. You sweet talk me, make me feel comfortable, have me lapping everything up in the palm of your hands, and then you snatch it away. Then have the audacity to get mad at me!”

You are yelling now and it is throwing him off. Joel knows better than to interrupt you like you do to him. You were the kind of person who would calm down if you felt heard. 

The way he knew you down to your core made this all so painful. Because if he was not so stubborn and true to his convictions, he would have fucked you the moment you touched his lips this morning. 

“I ain’t tryin’ to make this harder than-” “Too fuckin’ late.”

You think back to the moment last night when you knew you were going to hurt your own feelings by sleeping with him. You knew better, yet here you are, still blaming him for your stupidity.

He stands there, still holding his mug, staring you down like a wounded doe who got pierced with an arrow. He feels guilty like he misled you. Before he can say anything, you are lacing up your boots and leaving out the front door without another word. 

-

All day long, Joel wanders around the house trying to get rid of the pit in his stomach. Nothing works. A shower. Reading a book. Cutting wood. As soon as he tried to use laundry as a distraction, he reached into his hamper and found one of your t-shirts. He held it close and smelled it, trying to wrap his head around how he got here. 

You spend all day, silently fuming on horseback with Jesse. When he tries to get you to open up, you ice him out and tell him to focus on the trail in front of him. 

You get back by sundown, the sun setting making it a lot chiller than you expected. You decide to take the long way home, wanting to avoid being home for as long as possible. You were not ready to face Joel, let alone share a space with him. But unfortunately, during your patrol, you fell into some mud and needed a shower. The more time it spent on your clothes and body, the grosser you felt. 

You open the front door, announcing that you are home. It was a habit you and Joel developed after you both pulled guns on each other during late-night arrivals. 

You hear Joel mumble something from the living room, but you do not stop to listen and continue on your way upstairs to the bathroom. 

You strip down as soon as the door is closed, tossing your muddy clothing into a hamper in the corner. You would get them washed and hung as soon as you shower off. 

You hear Joel’s footsteps creaking around the upstairs hallway as you scrub your body with homemade soap and warm water. 

When you start to dry yourself off, you hear Joel grunting something in the hallway. You wrap yourself in a towel and peek your head out the door. He’s on his hands and knees wiping something off the hardwood. “What’s goin’ on?”

He looks up at you, your body only covered in a bleach-stained blue towel. It makes his head spin. He can’t even be mad that you tracked in mud. 

He swallows, gripping the cloth he’s using tighter. “You got mud everywhere.”

You step out, not even really thinking about the fact that you are not properly dressed in front of Joel. You were still mad at him, anyway. Who cares what he thinks?

“Sorry, I could’ve cleaned it up.”

He returns to wiping the wood, “It’s fine, I got it, kiddo.”

You accept his response and move on to your room, but the draft you leave behind drifts to Joel’s nostrils. Your soap smells like lavender and it always sends his mind racing when you are fresh from a shower. He clears his throat, trying to get through the emotions filling his chest. 

But it’s been like this all day. You’re all around him even when you’re not physically here. How can he get away from you? Why is he trying to run in the first place?

He’s on his knees in your hallway, cleaning up your mess, sniffing the air you leave behind because he’s fucking in love with you and he cannot help himself anymore. 

Joel starts to think about how peaceful he felt having you next to him last night and how he would love to feel that way every night. For once he’s not thinking about what everyone else would think. For once he’s thinking selfishly and caving into every desire he has ever pondered about you. How would you feel under him? How would your lips feel pressed against his pulse point? 

His body was on fire, thinking about you. 

You are fiddling with some clothes in your dresser after you flick on the overhead light. You do not hear him come into your room behind you. 

You are so wrapped up in your own thoughts that when he clears his throat to announce he’s in your room, you scream. Loud. 

“For cryin’ out loud, woman!” 

You grip your towel tighter when you turn and see him standing at your mercy. 

“Joel, what the fuck?” You yell, gesturing to the fact that you are practically naked. He does not care, of course, and his ears are ringing from your piercing scream. He gathers himself as you shift back, trying to create some distance from him.

He is trying not to gawk at the fact that your grip on the towel against your chest is only pushing up your cleavage. He’s biting back everything. “Can we talk?”

“Talk about what? The fact you crept into my room when I was trying to change? Are we past boundaries now?” 

You are pissed, trying not to rattle off another million things to discuss with him. He’s only really talking about one thing. 

He scoffs at your last statement. “Boundaries were already out the window when you crawled into bed with me last night.”

Silence fills the room as you completely stop breathing. The anger you originally felt dissipates. 

“Joel-“

“I ain’t doin’ this back and forth anymore,” He starts shifting in his spot, unsure if he really should be doing this. “I can’t live how I've been livin’. Somethin’s gotta give.”

You furrow your eyebrows, confused. 

“You are the one who won’t give, Joel.”

As soon as you say it, he practically drags himself over to you. Completely destitute. You have never seen him look so desperate before. You can tell that he’s been at war with himself ever since you left this morning. His eyes never lied.

His hand creeps up your bare arm, leaving goosebumps in his wake. 

But then you remember his words from this morning. You start feeling like this is just a moment of weakness for him and that he will regret it later. You had to stop it before it was too late. You did not want to deal with the consequences. 

“Joel, you said we can’t-”

“Fuck what I said,” He cuts you off, “Do you want this?”

You stare into those brown eyes, searching for a sign of hesitance. You cannot believe Joel is being this vulnerable with you. 

But, you do want him. God, you have wanted him so badly for so long. You have searched for him in every man you have ever been with since knowing him. 

Your mouth opens but nothing comes out. He takes note of your parted lips, every word failing you at that moment.

“Darlin’-”

“Yes,” You finally manage. “Yes, I do want this.”

It’s all he needs. He closes the gap between you two by wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into his space. His lips crash onto yours, not wasting another breath of air waiting to indulge in his sickest fantasies. 

You are all Joel ever dreamed about. He knew that once he caved and physically gave in, his world would be shot and everything would revolve around you. For years it had been a teetering object on a cliff, one nudge would have him falling. He always managed. But now, he was falling head first. 

His lips move so perfectly with your own. Your hand released your towel and found the tufts of his curls at the base of his head. You did not care that the article pooled around your feet, leaving you completely bare in front of Joel. You have wanted this all along. To be uncovered, to be stripped down to the rawest form. He broke the kiss briefly just to scan your naked body, his forehead pressed against your own. 

“Fuck, you are so beautiful.”

Your heart stutters as his hand traces your stomach down to your hips, all the way down to your ass. He stops there, grabbing a handful. 

“I need you,” You choke out before pressing your lips to his over and over again. “Right now.”

He mumbles “jump” into your mouth and you do so, his hands working quickly to hike you up onto his waist. He carries you to your bed, wasting no time dropping you onto your back. 

He cannot get enough of your soft, swollen lips. Every time he pulls away slightly, he dives in again even more aggressively than the last time. 

You are so hypnotized by the way he feels on top of you. In the light, he seems so much broader than he was last night. He’s still fully clothed, to your dismay. You start to tug at his shirt, motioning him to remove the articles that are in your way. 

He throws off his shirt before he stands up at the edge of the bed and pushes down his jeans. 

“Joel… I-“

He just shuts you up with another passionate kiss. It’s all tongue and teeth like he’s trying to melt into your mouth. Your hands trail up his back, gripping onto his shoulders, holding him down so he is pressing against your nude body. 

“God, I have wanted this for so long,” He sputters, trying not to sound too desperate. “Been wanting this.”

That’s when his hand reaches down between your thighs and gathers the wetness your slit has to offer. His fingers dance across it, starting from the top all the way to your spongy entrance. 

“Please, Joel.”

He loves the lust-laced tone you speak with when you say his name. It almost makes him cum there and then. 

You watch as he makes his way down your body, peppering kisses from your shoulder to your hip. When he parts your legs, you feel quite exposed. The adrenaline of being so spread for him manifests into a moan. 

“You are divine, baby.”

The use of that adjective is so-not-Joel that it makes you giggle. He notes your reaction and decides to sink down into you. When his mouth gets close to your core, it’s no longer a laughing matter. 

He uses his fingers again, using them to spread open your pussy lips. He cannot keep his eyes away from how dripping you are. “This all for me?”

“Y-yes, Joel.”

“God, I was a fuckin’ fool for so long. Could’ve had her earlier and I never fuckin’ caved. Such an idiot.”

Him giving your cunt pronouns was enough to have you throwing your head back and shuttering. His touch was magnetic like he knew exactly what buttons to push as he rubbed his fingers and palm over your core. 

“Yeah, you’ve been missin’ out. Every night…” You swallow before looking down at the man that is enamored with your pussy, “E-every night I would lay in this bed, fuckin’ myself just thinkin’ about you.”

He growls at the statement, before teasingly kissing your clit. “Every night, hm, kiddo?”

“God, yes.”

Your eyes squeeze shut as he leans forward more and dives in. His nose is pressed firmly against the top of your pussy, nudging forward every time his tongue enters your hole. When that motion became consistent, you began to note the rumblings in the pit of your stomach. A familiar build-up that you managed to get when you were playing with yourself. 

His fingers move in tandem with his lips and tongue. While his middle and pointer finger slide in and out of you, his lips wrap around your clit. It’s overwhelming and all-consuming. 

You do not know where to center yourself, so your hands grip the bed sheets you were completely soaking as Joel pulls the first orgasm out of you. 

“That’s it, baby, she’s cryin’ for me, hm?”

You hardly make a noise, the orgasm is so earth-shattering that you just writhe on the mattress. 

“Oh my god…” You groan, finally able to catch your breath. When Joel removes his fingers from you, you watch as he slowly brings them up to his lips.

When he inserts them in his mouth, you gawk at him, unsure how to react. He watches your expression and chuckles darkly.

“Mm, never seen a man enjoy the taste of ya?”

You shake your head. “Never expected to hear those words leave your mouth, either.”

“Wait ‘til you hear what else I got to say.”

He stands up beside the bed, grabs your hips, and brings them to the edge. He is tossing you around with ease, bringing your lower body flush with his. He yanks down his briefs, revealing himself to you. You instantly take notice of how well-endowed he is. You never thought you would ever be close to his cock, let alone have it lining up at your entrance. 

“Joel…“ You stop him with your small voice, but still welcoming him in with your legs opened wide, “I don’t know if it will fit.”

He grins, “It will, baby. Just relax for me, okay?”

You watch him slide his member along your center, the feeling so blissfully overstimulating. You whine a bit, raising your hips to his. 

But Joel continues his torture, enjoying the way you’re squirming under him. The way your eyebrows are knitted together, your eyes shut as you grind up into him. It’s the prettiest sight. 

“Ready?”

Your eyes fly open as you watch him ease his way into your core, the sound of squelching filling the room. You don’t think you have ever been this wet for someone. 

“Oh my fuckin’ god, Joel…”

He smiles as he inches in, “Squeezin’ my cock so good, darlin’.”

When he’s fully sheathed inside, he tests the waters by drawing out slowly. You roll your hips in a circle, trying to feel out every inch of him. He fits, but you know once he starts to move faster, the stretch will become overwhelming. 

He’s trying to focus and not blow his load immediately. You look so beautiful below him, your tits slowly shifting back and forth every time he draws back and forth. He reaches out, wanting to feel the flesh between his fingers. God, he craved every inch of you, he realizes. 

You open your legs as far as you can, letting him hit you at a different angle. The movement allows him to slip in a bit more seamlessly, so when he speeds up his thrusts, you don’t feel like you will completely split in half. 

He brings your leg up to hips, and feeling your soft delicate skin against him makes him lose all sense. His hips snap faster the more you moan out for him. 

“Fuckin’ Christ, girl. I can’t believe I was missin’ out on this cunt,” He babbles, “Need this cunt every day from now on. Gonna have you all to myself every night.”

You are too fucked out of your mind to read into those implications.

“‘M all yours, Joel.”

He smiles, slowing down a bit. “Keep talkin’ like that and ‘ll finish a lot sooner than you.”

You sit up a bit, your eyes flickering over his entire body. He notices you checking out his nude frame, which makes him feel a bit more bold. He leans down, capturing your lips in a hungry kiss. You love the way his tongue slips into your mouth so effortlessly. When he opens his mouth, his facial hair tickles your nose a bit which makes you smile. When his hips pick back up to a quicker pace, it sends you gasping into his mouth.

“Please, Joel,” You whine, that familiar build starts up but this time it’s like a freight train. Moving so quickly down every nerve ending in your body. “I’m gonna cum.”

“‘M with you, darlin’. Soak this dick. I’m right behind ya.”

His dirty talk causes the crash. Your body practically lifts off the mattress. You cry out so loud you are sure a neighbor could hear you. You try to gain your bearings, but you are panting like you just ran a mile. 

Joel fucks you through it, but the restriction your pussy is putting on his cock sends him over the edge. His hips stutter into yours, his seed emptying into your spent hole. He just keeps repeating your name as his thrusts slow down.

He has never had such a visceral orgasm in his life. His knees are weak and can hardly keep up his weight. He practically falls on top of you, which does not offend you at all. His warm sweaty body on top of you is almost reassuring. 

“You okay, kiddo?” He finally mutters as his hot breath fans the nape of your neck. You just nod, bringing your hand up to his salt and pepper hair. You tug lightly, smiling to yourself. 

“I’m more than okay.”

He finally sits up, his cock spilling out of you as he adjusts his position. Your hole drips a mixture of cum onto your newly clean sheets, but you could care less. It’s just another thing to hand wash tonight.

Joel stumbles to the middle of the room, picking up your bath towel. He uses it to wipe himself up before coming over to you. Your legs are still slightly apart so he decides to clean you up a bit. He’s gentle, knowing that you are probably still sensitive.

Once he finishes up, he crawls next to you as you continue to recover. Your bones felt like jello so standing up to adjust yourself was not an option.

So instead of facing him, you stare up at your ceiling fan as his eyes lock onto every detail of your profile. It brings him back to one night you two shared under the stars a couple of years ago. It was his turn to keep watch so you curled up in your sleeping bag by the fire. He admired you from across the flames, the orange hues lit up every angle of your face. It was at that moment that Joel realized that he could not picture his life without you. You had weaseled your way into every facet of his life and he used to resent the impact you had on him. You were younger, more patient but still stubborn like him. You made him laugh, like genuinely laugh, for the first time since the infection. While you may have been a bit impulsive with your emotions, he envied the way you could say exactly what you were thinking. 

Joel did not want to love you, but it was impossible not to. 

You finally look over at him, noticing the softness in his gaze.

“Are you okay?” You pose, scrunching your nose. 

He gives you a toothless smile, his eyes crinkling a bit. “I just can’t wait to sleep next to you for the rest of my life.”

tags of people I love and who may wanna read (no pressure I just love u) (some of u did ask tho) : @ashleyfilm @hockeyhughes @pedrospookie @guiltyasdave @amanitacowboy @myownwholewildworld

[coconutdays]

going crazy

s. your boyfriend, handsome and secure suguru geto, doesn't get jealous

w.c. 4.8k

w. fem! reader, biker!geto! x reader , fluff!, smut!

a/n: based on my seat taker biker!geto au! also I feel this does not live up to seat taker! but I tried my best! so I hope you can still enjoy! likes reblogs and comments r always appreciated to know y’all liked it!!!

your boyfriend does not have a single jealous bone in his body. it’s convenient you suppose?

you’ve heard nightmares of insecure men who have to know where there girlfriends are every second of every hour, the direction they’re even going to utter a breath in. the occasional story of a girl who can’t speak to any men whatsoever because her boyfriend will berate her for doing so. 

although you do always keep suguru in the loop about what you’re doing and don’t really talk to guys because at the end of the day, more often than not, they always do not plan on just being your friend, he never expected those things out of you. It was a silent form of showing your respect for him. and he did the same out of instinct too, first too. 

but aside from that, he doesn’t show any jealousy.

there was a time he even tried to set you up with toji zenin when he was still crushing on you. 

your boyfriend is a little peculiar, you’re very well aware of that, but you find his confidence in himself sexy. because you couldn’t look anywhere else if you wanted to. he was handsome, his face chiseled so prettily it was painful. his smooth voice that always had you reeling to get him to talk more. and his spine tattoo that always made you blush at the sight of it befriending your scratch marks after a particularly rough night, 

so you don’t care about the way you dress, because he won’t control what you wear. in fact, it’s one of the things you both love about each other, a recent discovery now that you’ve been dating for a month. suguru is an avid fan of the way you dress, relishing in what new outfit he’ll see you in whenever he sees you that day, and if not possible, asking for a picture. and you love how he loves it. appreciating the fact that he loves when you wear booby shirts to campus or dates with him or particularly tight jeans that attract eyes aside from his, but are worn for the sole purpose of serving cunt–and riling your boyfriend up.

it all comes together to why you wear the dress you do tonight to go clubbing with him and some friends. it’s honestly the hottest thing suguru will have seen you in so far. yes, your previous halloween costumes were something alright, but this…was different. halloween was like a month ago and the outfits for those events were meant to be slutty, purely slutty. this look was meticulously planned by you the moment you ordered the dress online. the sheer dress and its sparkles had been running across your mind that entire week of shipping with the perfect sultry way you planned to do your hair and makeup. 

you 

hey can we carpool later tonight, my dress isnt motorcycle proof :/

suguru

sure princess.  can i get a peek?

you

don’t feel like it hehe wait for it sugu <3

suguru

tease

any other time, he would’ve more than likely have gotten his peek at your outfit, you are weak to his demands naturally, but this was something he genuinely would have to wait for. pictures would not do you justice and you wanted to catch your boyfriends raw reaction when he saw the look for the first time . 

and you were right.

when he went up to your apartment to pick you up and you opened the door, the reaction was worth the wait. the constant warmth your boyfriend’s gaze always held fell the moment his eyes landed on you and took a moment to breathe you in. 

you saw his pupils dart to your cleavage first, staring for a hard second, then to the tightness against your waist and hips bringing attention to your figure. the small quirk of his eyebrow seconds within that let you know he spotted the thong hugging your body under the sheer dress. he did a once over of your legs, looking at what shoes you were wearing, before he brought his eyes up to look at your face again.

he doesn’t say anything, instantly moving forward and getting rid of the space between the both of you to take your head in his hands and plant his lips on yours. you press a hand against his chest when you feel him swipe his tongue across the top of your mouth so hungrily. 

“you’re going to kiss off my lipgloss sugu.” you giggle, heaving a little as you press your forehead against his, blinking up happily at him. 

his stare is firm as his blown up pupils stare back into you, “sorry pretty girl, couldn’t help myself.”

“and why’s that hm?” you bite your lip through your smile, eagerly waiting for his answer, still forehead to forehead with him, his hands still holding you in place.

his hair is in that half up half down duo you go so feral for, you realize this detail when he says, “you know why.”

“no I don’t,” you drag on, a teasing lilt in your voice

“because,” he drags one of his hands down to caress your neck softly with his thumb, you can see a slight crease in his eyelids at your playfulness, “my girlfriend is trying to get away with first degree murder right now.”

“you like the dress?” you give him a toothy smile and you can slightly catch his gaze turn hungry at the sight of it

suguru suddenly raises you up by clasping his arms behind you, below your butt and on your thigh, so you’re above him when he looks at you lovingly, “like is an understatement.”

“well i like your hair today,” you compliment him, still giggly

“yeah?” he smiles, “i’m glad.”

it’s your first time ever going to the club with suguru, so there’s some sort of powerful feeling lingering when you enter the loud building holding hands with him. you’re going in belonging to someone and so is he, as opposed to other people going in and hoping to catch a body tonight or at least a good grind on the dancefloor–satoru cough cough.

the white haired maniac’s influence gets all of you a vip table with liquor already waiting for you and when you get there, suguru sits and plants you on his lap, arms loosely wrapped around your waist.

It’s when you look forward, you see toji zenin give you a quick once over from where he’s seated near satoru. and you ignore it, you always do. he’s never made an advance on you ever since you and suguru became a thing, he’s respectful of the relationship, but his eyes can never lie, he’s into you. it’s why you’ve never uttered a word to him and why he doesn’t either. and you can’t really blame him if the purpose of tonight's look was to turn all heads, not just your boyfriend’s.

“you smell good baby,” suguru mutters into your ear as he brushes a hair away from your face, “are you using the perfume i got you?”

you wrap your arms around his shoulders when you respond with a nod of your head and, “yeah. I finally ran out of my old one.”

“good girl.” he smiles appreciatively before placing a tender kiss on your neck

the softness of it makes you giggle a little and crane your neck a little, suguru pinches your side to tease you for it. 

it’s when a certain lullaby of a song comes on that your ears perk up and your boyfriend observes the reaction, looking up at you and rubbing circles into your waist, “what’s up baby?”

within an instant all the girls at your table begin to get up and rush to the dance floor and you turn to suguru, already starting to unwrap his arms from your waist.

“i have to go dance this babe,” you say hurriedly, like a little kid leaving their mom the moment they see the bouncy castle go up.

suguru can say nothing before he watches you run off to join the other girls on the dance floor, eyebrows raised in amusement at your antics then in reaction to your immediate inclination to start dancing. 

you look pretty, he thinks as he reaches over to serve himself a glass of whiskey. 

and he continues to think it as he ‘talks’ to his friends, nodding and giving small mhms when all he’s really doing is watching you live it up at the center of the club. 

you’re ethereal, the only star in that murky puddle of bodies. maybe your dress is part of the reason for all that shine and glow you’re giving off, but nothing beats the pretty little smile on your face that says you’re having a good time. it’s turning him on to be honest. he always wants to shove himself inside of you when you bear that toothy smile at him. 

and other people think the same, he notes. 

he’s always seen the stares, he knows you’re a sight to behold. there hasn’t been a day where he isn’t aware that so many other people want you. he knew it when you were merely the smart, hot girl he had a crush on his lit class, with so many other guys obviously paying a little more attention when it was your turn to speak, and he knows it even more now with your male following on social media and the way he constantly gets sized up just for being next to you. for fuck's sake he's heard toji zenin talk about how bad you are before he knew about your thing with suguru at the halloween party, hell, he still catches the frat president unable to control the way his eyes eat you up when you're near.

“done already?” satoru asks haughtily when he sees all of the girls that went to dance come back heaving a little

it’s been an hour since they all left at the start of that first song.

“y/n’s still there though,” one of them breathes, taking satoru’s drink from him, “she does not stop.”

“yeah, she doesn’t,” suguru laughs a little, looking back at you, still as energetic as when you first got there.

fuck, you're beautiful.

speaking of before,

he’s painfully more aware of it when he notices the number of eyes gravitating towards you from the dancefloor, tables, and the bar.

it’s like a bunny in a room full of wolves. or those scenes where scooby and shaggy are in a dark room and a thousand red eyes pop up to blink at them. the eyes to you ratio is beginning to get a little mind boggling now that he sees it in a real life setting. this is not the handful of guys checking you out when you go to the library with him or the nth guy staring at you when you walk past with your boyfriend next to you. this is a huge club with you in the middle and catching the eye of almost every guy in here, most of whom come to this place with plans of taking a girl home or putting moves on her. 

the thought manifests itself when a blonde frat bro walks up to you and tries to dance with you. suguru’s heart stops a little for some reason. he’s seen guys come up to you before, actually talking to you and trying to get your number, so he shouldn’t feel this irked when he knows the guy is going to be disappointed by your answer. he actually wants to go up to the guy and beat his face in.

the surge of pride that courses through his body is immense when he sees you put a hand between you and the guy and you make an annoyed face, all before strutting off and making your way back to the table. 

he manspreads a little more for you to sit between his legs, draping one arm on your thigh, the other holding onto his whiskey.

“a guy tried to dance with me,” you huff when you sit down, reaching for suguru’s drink, which he hands over without a second thought, now using the other free hand to fully hug you.

“I saw,” he says, perching his chin your shoulder, watching as you take a sip of the whiskey and cradle the cup in your hands.

“dance with me,” you turn to look at him and pout, “i don’t want guys coming up to me.”

“but you look so good rejecting them.” suguru teases, smirking a little at you

when your face deapans, he laughs and hugs you tighter, “we’ll go in a bit. rest your pretty feet for a second, don’t want them to tire out.”

“okay,” you slump into his hold, pouting

and suguru did keep his promise, like always. he took you dancing after a few minutes of rest and letting you drink the rest of his whiskey.

he protected you from any other guys trying to come up to you, evident in the way no guys even dared get close from a ten feet radius.

he kept you close and let you dance with him, hands appreciatively holding onto you when you pressed your body against his. it was much different to the dancing from that first time at satoru’s party, he was really holding onto you this time. his hands always found your ass, your hips, even the underside of your boobs during every second of every song.

and suguru isn’t a jealous guy, so it was a little weird to you when you saw him notice a guy oogling you and he immediately pulled you in to makeout with him on the dancefloor. it was unlike any other makeout session you had ever had with him before. he was gripping your ass while his other hand held your neck, that wasn’t new, he always did that, but his energy about it was so…all consuming. 

all you know, is that instantly had you horny and you couldn’t help the mewl you let out after he squeezed you in his hold.

“let’s go,” he spoke a bit tensely into your ear so you could hear him past the music.

and you were never one to go against him because everything suguru did always made sense and worked for you, so you nodded mindlessly and said, “okay.”

when you got to suguru’s apartment, he immediately pushed you against the door and resumed the makeout session he had started at the club. one of his hands was planted against the door while the other roughly gripped your waist to keep you close to him. 

“If you ever see toji, i want you to run the other direction,” he spoke ominously against your lips

the command had you furrowing your eyebrows, you mean of course yes you'd do that, but you never would’ve thought he’d ask it from you. he never really cared to address your actions when it came towards other guys. suguru wasn’t ever jealous…nonetheless, you agree meekly, taken aback by his roughness, “okay.”

all your boyfriend did in response was let out a gruff sound of acknowledgement before pressing his body further against yours and beginning to tug your dress off. he started by pushing down the straps, then pushing the upper half down, including your strapless bra until your tits popped out. 

he pushed both of them together the moment they peeked out and then let a glob of spit drop down onto one of your nipples rather obscenely before he went down to mouth at that same breast. it had you keening, you could feel your thong becoming nonexistent with the way you were starting to drench through it.

a bite from suguru had you squeaking before he continued his ministrations on your other breast while his hands worked on pushing the rest of your dress all the way down, even your thong since it caught onto the tight material of the dress.

you were left completely naked in front of him now and he manhandled you by suddenly picking you up and pinning you against the wall next to the door. he let one hand hold one of your legs to his waist, while the other went under and quickly swiped a finger across your folds with ease due to the wetness

“so easy baby,” he muttered against your lips before plunging a finger all the way in and curving it upwards

“you’re being mean,” you complain, feeling completely flustered at his brash actions

“what’s so mean about making you feel good hm?” he leans back to get a good look at you when he plunges another finger in and starts to push them in and out quickly, watching as your eyebrows knit and you start to mewl, “atta girl.”

“nothing,” you mumble, brainless as you wrap your arms around his neck and hook him in closer with your legs, “ow!”

he started adding a third finger when he felt like you were starting to open up more, however your small complaint started dying into a moan when he increased his pace with the third finger. 

“that’s a lot sugu,” you heave through delirious breaths, flustered at the fact that he was staring so intensely at how you were sucking him in

your comment had him finally looking up at you and you dont know if you’d rather he go back to staring at your pussy, because he was giving that same intense stare to you now. the all heavy pressure of his gaze was entirely being directed at your own eyes now, and how could you meet that same gaze equally when he was three fingers into you and making you moan like a slut.

suguru might have granted you a quick mercy when he leaned against you, quickening the pace of his fingers so you could get louder, and breathed into your ear, muttering lowly, “my cock’s a lot more than three fingers but you always cream all over it.”

the dirty sentence has you pulling suguru closer to you, and trying to trap him where he was so you wouldn’t have to look at him in the flustered state he put you in. but your boyfriend didn’t have it, forcing himself out of your grip, and craning his neck back to go back to looking at you.

he pulled out all three of fingers just to land a sharp slap across your pussy before plunging all of them into you again, “let me watch you baby. be good for me, okay?”

he honestly expects you to be able to answer him when three of his very large fingers are stretching you wide open and curling on that one spot that always has you crumbling, you know he expects you to because he turns his head a little when you don’t answer and lands another slap before going back to fingering you.

“speak up princess,” he orders so easily and so sweetly, like he’s not torturing your body right now

and you do your best to force the words out of you, legs quivering and resisting the urge to writhe in his grasp when you gasp, “ok–okay.”

“good girl,” he almost groans with a snarl as he suddenly stops fingering you open and hoists you over his shoulder, a squeal leaves your mouth at the action.

he’s walking you both to his bedroom, you notice from the path of his hallway made out from your view, and the realization doesn’t last long before suguru brings you down again, then pushes you down and bends you over his bed. he lands a slap to your ass and you can makeout the rustle of him getting naked when he says softly, “grab the pillows and put them under your stomach angel.”

and you listen, reaching easily for both of his large and fluffy pillows, and putting them under your abdomen.

you feel suguru’s heavy length press against your ass and bare pussy when he presses up against you, gripping onto the crease between your thighs and ass, and starts mouthing hot and heavy kisses across your spine. you whine a complaint at the fact that you feel so good, but you know you could feel so much better if he just put it in already.

“what?” suguru notices the pitch that you always make when you’re complaining, continuing his line of affection down your spine

“put it in,” you pout, wiggling your ass for emphasis and hissing a little when you feel his cock graze your lips at the action

suguru gives a last kiss to the bottom of your spine before coming back up and grabbing a fistful of your hair and bringing your head up so he could look at you, “how bad do you want it?”

“really bad sugu.” you mewl, feeling gratification from the sting of his hold on you

“you want me to fill up your little hole? even when we both know you’re gonna start crying that it’s beating your pussy up, yeah?” he questions cruelly 

“mhm,” you nod pathetically, “even if i do.”

his lips twitch a little at your admission and he yanks on your hair a little harder when he lands a sloppy kiss on your lips that has a string of saliva connecting both of your mouths when he pulls away.

he stands back up and lands another stinging slap across your ass, groaning, “my pretty fuckin ass.”

as if he couldn’t get any dirtier, suguru then grabs either of your cheeks and spreads them apart to get a good view of your sex, the sudden exposure of which makes you feel even wetter. that last fact seems of no use to suguru when you feel a large glob of spit land and run down your hole.

you suck in breath when you feel suguru start to rub his tip across your folds.

“sloppy little pussy,” he mutters before pressing into you. and you both groan when he starts to inch himself in even further.

the moan you let out when he completely pulled out and slammed back in was sinful and the noises that followed when he started doing that again and again at a faster pace without mercy had you outright screaming. 

you felt like you were constantly breathless, constantly trying to breathe. he hadn’t ever been this hard on you before.

and you thought you knew what hard was from him before.

“i know, i know,” he whispered against your neck when he pressed himself down against you and started jackhammering even closer to your cervix, so on point with your gspot too that you felt your orgasm starting to build up

a particular gutteral squeal from you had him breathing a “so cute” while he never relented his brutish force against you

“sugu–sugu,” you reached around for one of his arms, heaving, grabbing onto it while he violently moved the both of you, “i’m gonna–mmm–i’m gonna cum, i’m gonna cum!”

the confession had suguru suddenly changing positions, hooking his arms up and under your armpits to pull you up to stand flush against his body while he slammed up against you ferociously. it unexpectedly had your high crashing against you after a graze of your gspot.

“that’s it baby, that’s it.” suguru consoled when he felt you twitch in his hold and your juices dripping all over his abdomen and cock, “such a good fucking girl.”

all you wanted to do was fall down and rest, but the most you could muster was letting your body go limp in your boyfriend’s unrelenting hold, letting him use you as he pleased.

“ ‘s too much sugu,” you whined as the overstimulation started kicking in

It didn’t get him to stop at all.

“remember what you said earlier hm?” he brought up, breathing heavy as he lifted a foot up to plant it against the edge of the bed. it was leverage for the scream worthy pace he started forcing on you now.

tears started to fall down your cheeks at the overstimulation. it was so good, too good. It was all so sinfully good. 

you felt your walls start to flutter again at your second nearing orgasm when you sniffled from the tears. and although your boyfriend still evilly abused your pussy, he leaned down and moved your face to the side with one hand so he could be face to face with you. 

you thought he was going to kiss you, but instead he started licking your tears off.

it was the catalyst for your orgasm and you thrashed rather hard against suguru, who you could feel suck in a breath at the sporadic clenches of your pussy.

“fuck,” he breathed harshly, pulling you even tighter against him to more easily meet his thrusts and you could feel his cock twitch as a symptom of his incoming orgasm.

that, and he started to speak up filthily.

“Mine–mine–mine–mine.” he reiterated quickly, punctuating each time with a thrust, “fuck ‘s all mine. god can’t get enough of you pretty baby. so fucking slutty and pretty. fuck–fuck–next time i see toji giving you heart eyes im gonna pump my cum inside you so he can see it running down your fucking legs. fuck–you like that baby? what–a–good–good–fucking–girl. tell me you want that baby.”

scrambling for any piece of sanity just to tell your boyfriend what he wants to hear, in hopes of spurring his lust, you moan out weakly, “i want it sugu i want it.”

“yeah? you want him to see me dripping out of your pretty fuckin pussy? god–i fucking–want–it. he’ll never get to fucking know what it’s like to cream this little hole.”

“so–so dirty sugu,” you moan sheepishly at the embarrassing realization that he might just make you cum a third time because of the added spur of his pussy drunk words. 

“pussy’s fucking dirty,” snarls back at you, pulling you closer to him, “can feel you clenching around me. know you fucking like it.”

the shut down of his words had you shaking in attraction to his ability to shut you up like no other.

“never–forget–you’re–mine,” he thrusts through, “ ‘s fucking pussy, your ass, your tits, your body, your pretty fucking face, ‘s all mine. you don’t need anybody but me. i’m yours i’m yours i’m yours. ‘s dick ‘s all yours, everything, baby. take it–take it–take it.” 

his breathing was starting to get heavier and you could feel his abs start twitching against you, a sign of his orgasm building up just as yours was all over again.

so it surprised you when suguru pulled out and threw you onto the bed, your legs hanging off the edge before he picked them up and slanted them up against his body by hugging them close. “come here, come here,” he quickly let one arm go for a second to guide himself into you again before wrapping it around your legs again. he repositioned the one leg of his back on top of the bed for his leverage and leaned forward a bit to go back to his brutal thrusts. 

“wanna see your face when you cum again.” he muttered as he stared at you squealing and moaning lewdly at his ministrations

suguru started kissing and mouthing at your calves while keeping you in a deadlock of eye contact. his cheeks and ears were tinged pink and his hair had fallen out of the half up half down do he had it in earlier. 

the worshipping of your legs and eye contact had to have been the last straw for you, because after a certain lick of your skin, you started crashing, feeling yourself let go across the entire lower half of your boyfriend, resisting the urge to cover your face in embarrassment because he recently made it a point that he really really liked seeing your face when you came.

the point was proven when he followed soon after you, thrusting half haphazardly into you as he blew his load inside of you in time with every squeeze of your cunt. it was accompanied by a litter of painful bites across your calves and heavy breathing from your boyfriend. he looked like he came hard, it felt like he did, considering how every spurt of his cum was sharply thrusted into you, making you wince in pain every time his tip kissed your cervix.

both of you were breathing heavily after, especially suguru, his skin covered in a thicker veil of sweat than you, who was simply taking all of that force he was exerting. he was still holding onto your legs, resting his forehead on the bare skin of your foot that wasn’t covered by your heel. 

his eyes were closed and he licked his lips, a bit tired, as he spoke, “i think i do get jealous after all, i’m sorry.”

his confession made you slightly clench around him, making him suck a breath in at the sensitivity while you breathlessly giggled, “that’s okay, i never said you couldn’t.”

suguru lazily bit your calf again as a sign of retaliation, "you could sound less excited."

[crossbackpoke-check]

in love with your novels in the tags, they're so much fun to read - @softvikings

thank you!!! i have so much fun writing them and i love hearing that they bring other people joy as well, these are Our Tag Novels now 🥹💕🥰

[dollniu]

guilty pleasure.. — JJK MEN

SYNOPSIS — things that secretly turn jjk men on!

CHARACTERS — sukuna, gojo, ino, hakari, higuruma, choso, toji

CONTENT — skirts, stockings, whispering, ear-biting, scent, neck kisses, lingerie, nipple play, praise kink, licking, choking, biting, bondage

A/N — MDNI 🔞, if you have any suggestions for posts reblog or comment 💋

RYOMEN SUKUNA

- neck. he lovesss neck kisses, especially while you’re riding him

- lips. anything to do with his mouth on you, biting, licking, sucking, eating you out, all of it

- clothing swap. he gets off seeing you in his robe, he hates how hard he gets from seeing you 🤭

- vocal. loves it when you scream his name, makes him go even harder 😋

- degradation. he’s less than nice in bed and will make you feel like a pathetic little sex toy to him, calling you cruel names just for his own pleasure 🤭

- sadism. the sound of him spanking your ass, the yelp of pleasure you make when ever he slaps you, pushing your head into the pillow whenever he fucks you from the back.. he can’t get enough.

SATORU GOJO

- scent. he loves ur scent, the perfume/cologne you wear makes him weak to his knees.

- accidental touch. he loves it when you touch his lower back, he always gets embarrassed when he arches his back and lets out a little gasp of desperation 🤭

- angry sex. he finds it hot when you’re mad at him, like he could fuck the anger out of you and have you going from angry to begging

- teasing. seeing you squirm whenever he gets so close to you, touching you in places where he definitely shouldn’t be, dirty talking, he loves seeing the flush in your face!

- clothed sex. loves it when you grab his dick through his pants 😋

- breast play. this man LOVES TITS, he will plunge his face into his tit and swallow them while playing with your nips and still get hard.

KINJI HAKARI

- cat ears. secretly loves cat ears and will def fuck the shit out of you while you wear them

- shorts/skirts. he’s an ass kinda guy so seeing your ass poke out through tight short shorts or mini skirts sends him into a frenzy

- choking. while he’s fucking you from the front with his hand wrapped around your neck 😫

- lingerie. spoils you in expensive victoria secret lingerie that he picks out just for you, he loves seeing you slowly take it off in front of him

- pinning. pinning you against the wall is probably his favorite thing to do, seeing you struggle to move against his grasp gives him a hard on immediately

TAKUMA INO

- cockwarming. this man can’t get enough of how good you feel when you’re wrapped around his dick, your pussy swallowing his length like a good girl 🤭

- begging. this man will BEG for you to let him cum and he loves it, it goes both ways as well. he loves seeing you under him, a complete mess, fucking you while you’re begging for him.

- blindfolds. silk ribbons wrapped around your eyes leaves you on edge, wishing you knew where he’d touch you next, where he’d lick you, how he’d fuck you, just what he’ll do to you.

- dry humping. the intimacy of it all feels so filthy, but ino absolutely loves it. the friction of the cloth between you too is so hot for ino and he will do it whenever y’all are lying in bed together!

TOJI FUSHIGORO

- raw. this man will fuck you raw and never uses a condom (no lube no protection!) the feeling of him pounding you and feeling your slippery walls wrap around his dick is an immediate orgasm for him

- daddy kink. we’ve all called toji daddy at least once and it’s all he needs to be fucking you all night long.

- face fucking. there’s nothing toji loves more than slamming your face down his huge dick! and he always cums and makes sure you swallow all of it. 😋

- size difference. we all collectively know that toji has a big ass dick, plus he’s just huge in general! he’s the type of guy to get off just looking down at you as you look up at him with fuck me eyes.

CHOSO KAMO

- overstimulation. our sensitive man choso LOVES being overstimulated. he will go round after round even after cumming 10 times consecutively.

- praise. he loves holding up your face when he’s fucking you and staring into your eyes, telling you how good you’re taking him. “such a good girl”

- edging. it goes both ways. leaving you on the brink of cumming only for him to stop just before you’re about to release just to see you begging on your knees. but when he’s getting the most toe-curling blow job or handy? edging him is the most pleasurable yet hated thing to do to this man and he will be left a whimpering MESS.

- hair pulling. when he’s eating you out, he loves it when you grip at his scalp and push him further into your cunt!

HIROMI HIGURUMA

- 69. we all saw this coming, our big nosed king loves pleasuring you while eating you out. sitting on his face while he can barely breathe can make him cum just thinking about it. but while he’s getting a blow job too? orgasm after orgasm.

- maid dresses. it was a secret he kept to himself until he saw you all prettied up in a maid dress where he lost all self-respect and fucked the shit out of you

- glasses. he loves seeing the way your glasses fall down your face while he’s fucking you against the wall. plus it’s just a preference

- thigh riding. he loves the sounds you make whenever you’re riding his thigh, desperate to cum and pussy practically drooling all over his thigh? his absolute favorite.

- face sitting. like i said before, this man loves oral sex. like he WILL keep eating you out even when you’ve already came, that’s how much he loves your taste ♥️