#so this is what we’re working with for the forseeable future

[babymorte]

𝖉𝖔𝖓’𝖙 𝖕𝖗𝖆𝖞 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖒𝖊, 𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖊𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖉 𝖙𝖔 𝖒𝖎𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖞

[txttletale]

healed ive been doing some very basic communist readings lately and. how do you cope with the fact that none of it seems particularly possible. how do you manage to put any of this theory into practice when the only two parties out there seem to be the We’re Basically Demsocs Party and the Sexual Abuse League. how do you not let it crush you and what ways have you found to like… manifest these ideas in your life? i guess one could say i was “radicalized” by recent events but having done basic reading (just beginner Lenin and Marx) has made me feel so much more hopeless. there’s no vanguard party and i don’t see what I can actually tangibly do to help proliferate communism. and it’s making me feel guilty for living my life, too, for doing things that I find fun and beautiful and enjoyable - there’s just the guilt of “this is a time-waster, this is brainwashing you”. do you have any assurance at all

so obviously the role of a marxist-leninist in a revolutionary situation (ie, one in which the conditions are revolutionary, in which the current bourgeois state is no longer tenable) is to be in a vanguard party at the head of the organized working class. but these things don't appear from nowhere--i think it follows that if you are in much of the world, where a revolutionary situation is not imminent in any forseeable near future, then the role of a communist is to help organize the working class and raise class consciousness through class struggle so that when such a situation presents itself the working class is both radical and organized, or capable of becoming such in short order.

that means that working within non-party organizations (unions, activist and mutual aid groups, grassroots campaigns) with the intent of learning the tactics of organization and radicalising the people around you is a meaningful participation in the class struggle. as much as i say 'get organized' and believe that a proletarian party is the best and most powerful vehicle for revolutionary action, that latter belief is of course to be taken and adapted for the situation.

do not be hopeless because you have read lenin--instead, be aware that when lenin was writing much of what he wrote, the situation of socialist parties across europe was dire. criminalized, divided just as they are now, replete with the exact kind of reformists you're complaining about (as well as adventurists). what lenin wrote about was not just a theoretical ideal party that did exist in his time, but instead the blueprints for the party he had a hand in creating. realize that lenin genuinely believed during periods that he would not see revolution during his lifetime.

organize with whoever you can, in whatever arena you can, and participate in the class struggle. develop the skills and understanding of the methods of struggle, even if trade unionism or climate activism alone are not sufficient vectors by which the contradictions of capitalism can be resolved, they are avenues by which your class consciousness and that of those around you can be honed and sharpened. find the most radical body around you and join yourself to their struggle--a vanguard party should emerge from the struggles of the working class, it should be an organization that serves as a vessel for effective action. you do not have to tie yourself to the decaying and rotting shambling zombie parties of the 20th century to participate in the class struggle--we as communists owe these organs no loyalty if they are not equipped for the realities of class struggle.

i'm lucky in that there is a small but dedicated group of marxist-leninists i have been able to join up with and work with. if that's not the case for you, conduct the struggle within anarchist collectives or trade unions or solidarity campaigns, while always keeping your true goal in mind. the class struggle unfolds across a multitude of arenas--as long as there's someone you can organize alongside on something, you are not powerless in your capacity as a revolutionary communist. good luck, comrade.

[princeanxious]

Part two to that supervillain roman au, context for this comic strip sketch under the cut:

So. For one, both quotes spoken arent mine they are raw lines sourced from a list of tumblr shitposts.

Somehow its come into my mind that the way that Roman came to be a supervillain was because of a dare/promise to his twin brother when they were kids when one of them had just been discovered as having super powers(they both had powers, but they’d both been raised trying to hide it and live a normal-ish life before getting dragged into what we’ll dub “super youth school” or whatever for the forseeable future, bc they knew that that was easily a life sentence to hero work whether they wanted it or not.) Remus got found-out first bc his powers control fluctuates with how much control remus has over his own head at that moment. Roman was dragged along with even if he hadnt been found out as twins were known to share the super power trait more commonly than if only one did, regardless of when/if their powers actually manifested at the same time.

So at like 13 they’re dragged to this super school thats def more like a training camp but a *littol more* ethical than u would think it was. Its not a super horrible place, honestly. But Roman’s still trying to hide his powers. This is made easier by the fact that he and Remus do not have identical powers but instead entirely seperate/opposite foils in a way? Remus has more access to offensive power-sets while roman is more defensive.

Well.

One day a super nasty Actual Supervillain plans and executes a sudden and devastating attack on the school, first aiming to collapse the building and then taking out any stragglers inside, because, yknow. These kids could be the future heros of his undoing(oh how right and yet so*wrong* that turns out to be) and taking a chunk of this generation out now atleast delays the eventual inevitable.

Its in this event that Roman is with a fellow classmate Remy, and Remus is in a dif part of the building, with classmates Janus, Patton, and Virgil. Remy wasnt gifted with super strength, but Roman had quick enough reflexes to summon a hard-light type shield from the collapse. Only he and Remy and maybe one other student out of their entire classroom makes it past the initial collapse, and while Remus has a quick regeneration factor, that doesnt mean he has invincibility so much as super strength in the sense that he wouldnt withstand the inital collapse but it probs would kill him.(lucky for remus, Virgil is a prodigy at teleportation and manages to get the four of them out safely and *far* away from the chaos. ….at the same time, this group roughly around ages 16-18 realizes this is their only real chance to run and escape this place for good and have a second chance at living low-profile normal-ish lives for a while, and thus make a *run for it*)

Roman and Remy manage to lay low and eventually get rescued by an active superhero, all the while Roman doing his level best to maintain the lightshield to keep the weight of the building from crushing them for *hours*

Essentially, the brothers end up believing that the other is dead from the disaster, the others even legally registered as such for years. And that silly kid promise of ‘if you win, we can become superheros, but if I win, we’re becoming super villains.’ It was just like, another one of their running jokes growing up. At a young age, Remus saw a major appeal in becoming a super villain, and Roman saw a major appeal in becoming a superhero, and as twins sometimes do, their young-adult counterparts came to the exact same conclusion(again, at different times but still the same decision in the end) after the collapse: “I’ll be the best super [hero/villain] i can be, for you, because *you* never got to.”

And Remus? His first order of business? Making his first superhero debut by offing the fucker that killed his brother and all the other helpless innocent lives that hadnt deserved to die.

[alittlextrathatway]

Brettsey + 7 general 😊

“Is that blood?” “Yes but that doesn’t matter right now, what does matter is-” “You are literally bleeding.”

******

“I love you, Sylvie. And I love you because of who you are. I don’t love someone else or love you because I can’t have someone else—“

What is that? Is that someone speaking? No, that can’t be it. She’s alone. She doesn’t remember how she knows she’s alone. She just knows she is.

“I love you and your ability to always give people the benefit of the doubt, the way you twist your watchband when you’re nervous, the fact that you put that picture of you and Amelia up everywhere.”

A little soggy laugh plays through her memory after those words, making her smile and then wince. Ow. What the hell? Where is she? And what is she remembering?

“My feelings are about you and me and not my past. I know that with a hundred percent certainty.”

There’s a flutter in her chest as if those words are some long lost part of her she never knew she was missing. They slide into place in her heart. She has no idea where she is or why the world seems upside down, but those words make sense. Even when nothing else does.

“I’m a little slow on the uptake and it took me too long to see it, but for the first time in my whole damn life I’m not moving on and I’m not letting go. Not when it comes to you.”

Matt. That’s who said those words. Matt.

But when did he say them? And why doesn’t she remember how she replied? She did reply, didn’t she?

Oh, god. No. No, she hadn’t. They’d gotten a call and then—

She winces again and forces herself to open her eyes. There’s splintered wood and a gaping hole about six feet above her, giving her a view of a very high ceiling through the shattered planks. She feels a cold firm surface beneath her. Not concrete, it’s softer than that.

She tries to turn her head and whimpers. The motion causes her muscles to ache, but she can do it. She wiggles her feet and kicks her legs. No neck or spinal injuries. That’s good. That’s very good.

Her brain feels like it’s been shaken up in her skull. Once it stops rattling her mind seems to anchor itself to the present again and the memories come flooding back.

Matt had said beautiful, wonderful words. She’d opened her mouth to reply and the bells went off. A solo call for 61. Man down. Her reply would have to wait — not that she knew what she would have said.

The house at the address they visited looked dodgy, but there was no red x on the outside and the doors and windows weren’t boarded up. She and Mackey had barely given a second thought before heading inside.

But then the floor started to give underneath her and she knew exactly what was about to happen. She pushed Mackey out the front door a second before the wood snapped.

After that, the world went black.

“Sylvie!”

Is that more of her memory? It doesn’t sound as distant as her memory had.

“Sylvie! Call out!”

The fear and desperation in his voice tell her it isn’t a memory.

“Matt! Down here!” She yells. “The floor collapsed! Be careful!” Through the latex of her gloves she thinks she feels dirt. “I think I’m in a crawlspace or a cellar or something!”

“Chief, I’ve got her. The house is structurally unstable. Don’t send anyone in. If we’re gonna get Brett out I need a location on a crawlspace entrance or a cellar door.”

“Copy that. Keep a close eye on her while we search the premises.”

“I’m okay!” She calls up to him, beating him to the punch. She can’t see him. He’s probably standing on the porch just beyond the threshold.

“You always say that,” Matt replies with a scoff.

“Really, I’m fine!”

“I think I’ll be the judge of that this time. Any injuries?” He sounds concerned and a little frustrated. It brings a fond smile to her face.

“I can move my neck and legs and I’m not feeling nauseous so I’m guessing no concussion or spinal and neck injuries,” she answers.

“Captain, we’ve got a cellar door on the right side of the house. It’s padlocked and chained.”

Kidd.

“I’m on my way.” A pause and then. “Sit tight, Sylvie. I’m coming to you. I know you think you’re fine, but do me a favor and try not to move.”

She rolls her eyes but agrees. “Copy that.”

She hears his footsteps walking away from her and sighs anxiously. She just wants to get out of here so they can finish their conversation. She wants a chance to say her piece!

While she waits for them she starts to feel woozy and lightheaded. She tenses as soon as the feeling settles over her. That can only mean one thing. She runs her hands over her body until she finds a growing wet spot on her shirt. The liquid is warm and thick.

Shit.

She reaches up and for the radio on her shoulder and presses the talk button. “Chief, this is Brett. If you’ve got eyes on Mackey tell her 81’s gonna need trauma dressing.”

“What happened to fine?” Casey shouts into the radio, renewed urgency in his voice. “I’m through the locks and chains, Chief. Kidd’s got the jump bag. She’s going in with me.”

“Copy that. Be careful in there.”

She hears the obnoxious squeak of rusty hinges and then quick feet shuffling through over the dirt floors. Casey’s next to her impossibly fast.

“Is that blood?” He asks with a shaky breath as he and Kidd crouch on either side of her. She feels him tugging the hem of her shirt upward. His palor pales considerably once he gets a good look at the wound.

That’s not a good sign.

She hasn’t seen the wound yet, but she doesn’t need to. She can feel how much blood she’s losing. It’s a lot. If she loses consciousness there’s a chance she might not—

They never got to finish their conversation. She has to tell him.

“Yes, but that doesn’t matter right now, what does matter is—“

“You are literally bleeding,” he huffs, cutting her off. “I don’t think now is the time. Focus on staying awake, Sylvie. We can talk later.”

Kidd grabs the trauma dressings, gauze, and scissors and moves to Casey’s side. Shoving him closer to Sylvie’s head and shoulders.

“You don’t know that. Neither of us do, but I do know you deserve to know how I feel. I need to tell you, Matt.”

“You said you were fine,” he says with a voice full of disbelief and eyes full of tears.

“I thought I was,” she replies sheepishly. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop,” he orders while his hands brush her hair out of her face. “Don’t apologize.”

“No, I—I’m sorry for pushing you away. I felt like I had to but I see now I didn’t. I should’ve let you talk—“

“Sylvie, I promise you that doesn’t matter. I never blamed you for asking for space. My head was a mess. It wasn’t on you to help me sort it out. I needed to work that out for myself. You did the right thing for you. I understand,” he assures her, his hand gently cupping the side of her face.

“This is gonna hurt,” Kidd warns her apologetically a moment before she starts packing the gash in her side.

Fuck! She yells out and grips Matt’s arms in a vice like hold. The pain lingers long after Stella finishes. Honestly, Sylvie’s surprised she’s still conscious.

Matt yanks off his helmet and presses his forehead to hers as Stella wraps gauze around her midsection.

“You’re gonna be okay,” he tells her with convincing certainty despite how red and raw his eyes are. “And once we get you out of here, we can have this conversation.”

Kidd leans into her radio and asks for a backboard before she gingerly squeezes Sylvie’s thigh. “He’s right. You’re too tough to be taken out by a little old cut. Trust me, girl. You’ve got this.”

Matt swipes a thumb under her tears and places a lingering kiss on her forehead. “Let’s get you to Med. we can sort the rest out later.”

She grabs onto his shoulders to keep him from pulling away, tugging him closer until her lips brush the shell of his ear.

“I love you too, Matt Casey,” she whispers. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I love you too and I never want you to give me space ever again. Okay?”

He turns his head, quickly kissing the hinge of her jaw, and nods. “Trust me, space isn’t going to be a problem. You’re stuck with me now — for the forseeable future.”

Gallo and Mouch appear with the backboard as Matt pulls away. He puts his helmet back on his head, his Captain’s demeanor returning as he does.

“Chief, we’re coming out.” He says into his radio. “Get an ambo ready to roll.”

[paradigmsofbrittaperry]

also life updates:

1) officially have my driver’s license and worked out the registration on my car!! and I paid rent for the first time ever and I move out Friday!! did someone say “Bri is a real adult now”??

2) been teaching band with my besties and it’s going well. my sister is marching for the first time this year, so it’s been very fun to be there for her first steps into the band world. 

3) think I may have feelings for my best friend and said friend might have feelings for me so uh. trying to ignore all of that rn until we’re both settled on campus but. we’re going to the same school and teaching band together and will likely march together this winter sooooo...we’ll see what happens.

4) I think I’ll be keeping my online presence at the level it’s been at lately for the forseeable future. I’m not leaving any sites or deleting any accounts or even setting strict limits, but I’ve been naturally less online as I’ve been working and packing and generally becoming active in the world again. I’m enjoying my current amount of online-ness and it’ll probably remain that way without me trying as I start classes, begin having to cook for myself all the time, etc.

5) no one told me that packing for college is an overwhelming combination of “I have to take everything” and “I hate half of the clothes in my closet” like I’m really out here just trying to pack but I’m also getting mad at myself for my past style choices I hate it.

I think that’s everything?? idk it feels like a lot has happened lately but also nothing has happened, and a lot that has happened is stuff that I want to keep to myself, but I’ve sort of gotten used to using my blog as a place for recording general life developments and it’s been over a month since I’ve really posted much of anything. I hope all of you are doing well, good luck to those starting school or moving out or anything like that soon!! 

[storysims]

NIFTY KNITTING - GAMEPLAY OVERVIEW 🧶

Gameplay was what I was most excited for with this pack. As an irl crafter + crocheter, this is the dream! ✨ (Still would like a hobby pack though, EA).

I ended up going a lot more in-depth than I thought I would, so obvious “spoilers” under the cut.

I was provided with an early access copy of Nifty Knitting to review via the EA Game Changers program!

Getting started with the knitting skill is as easy as plopping a bag or basket of yarn into your sim’s inventory and picking something to create! At level one, you’ve got the choice between nine different beanie variations for all ages. 

I noticed my sims had a tendency to gravitate towards rocking chairs for knitting, unless directed to sit elsewhere. You can pick their knitting spot by clicking on any sittable surface and telling them to knit in the pie menu.

Unfortunately, the bag or basket has to be in your sim’s inventory to do any sort of knitting. In my opinion, this sort of defeats the purpose of having yarn sitting around the home. It’s honestly a shame, since my apartment is covered in random bags of yarn and half finished projects. It doesn’t stop you from placing them for decoration, but it does make for some useless spending for sims on a budget. And honestly, what was the point of voting on what this looked like if we’re never going to see it outside of inventory?

Additionally, each sim will need their own basket of yarn in their inventory if multiple members of the household want to knit.

As your knitter progresses through the skill, more things will become available.

level one - beanies

level two - socks

level three - mailbox cozys, hanging plants

level four - rugs

level five - sweaters, the ‘teach to knit’ interaction

level six - poufs

level seven - decorations (cacti, turtle, octopus, penguin, llama)

level eight - toddler and baby onesies

level nine - sweaters with scarves

level ten - child toys (bear, grim reaper), mentoring sims in knitting

completed aspiration - yarny toy, yarny sculpture, ‘sacred knitting knowledge’ trait, bonus when teaching other sims, ability to dispel the sweater curse

I was honestly pretty disappointed that onesies require such a high skill level. I’ve really been looking forward to decking out all the babies in my 100 Baby Challenge in cute new clothes. Like I mentioned in my CAS review, I don’t foresee Day having the time to devote to knitting in the forseeable future, much less getting to level eight.

Thankfully, items are available to buy on Plopsy!

According to the gurus, Plopsy can also be used on the computer - but I never even thought to try it. I was honestly surprised that it was fully functional on the phone, both for buying and selling items.

Buying something on Plopsy is just like anything else in the game - funds are immediately deducted and the item can be found in your inventory. When purchasing clothes, you’ll need to select the item once it arrives in your inventory and hit ‘add to wardrobe’ in order for it to appear in CAS.

I specifically tested purchasing baby onesies, and it seems like a mod I have prevents them from actually being applied to the baby. I have no idea which one, but I tested two onesies purchased from Plopsy in a CC free game and had no issues. 

Failed item variations cannot be purchased on Plopsy - your sims will have to make those all on their own!

Selling items on Plopsy is probably my favorite part of this pack, and has the potential to be a huge money maker! Most things your sim can craft with a quality value assigned to it will have the option to be listed online from the sim’s inventory. I was able to list paintings, woodworking sculptures, herbal brews, photographs, flower arrangements, potions, candles, and knitted items for sale!

One of my test sims knitted a sweater dress and the cost of yarn was deducted automatically from her household funds - §50. She listed the dress on Plopsy, and within 24 hours she had an offer of §747. 💰

After knitting and selling duplicates of several items, it definitely seems like the cost varies a bit depending on the buyer. But I was always able to sell at a profit.

Believe it or not, there are dangers to knitting! This pack doesn’t come with a new death, but instead a curse. In my opinion, this is a super fun change and I’m so glad for something different.

There’s a chance that when giving a significant other a knitted sweater, both sims will become cursed!

Oh no, you’re cursed! They say couples with the Sweater Curse are destined to break up, so be very, very careful. Maybe don’t try anything romantic for awhile, because it will not go well. The threads of fate can be cruel.

So naturally, I cursed Bob and Eliza and then spammed the hell out of romantic interactions. They were all rejected. Their relationship plummeted in the span of a few sim hours. I didn’t stick around to see if they would organically break up on their own, but it wasn’t looking good.

It’s worth noting that I was never able to get this to work while they were married, but the second I demoted them to dating they got hit with this nasty seven day long moodlet. So if you plan on gifting sweaters to significant others, it’s definitely worth completing the aspiration.

As fun as the failed knitting items and the forbidden sweater look in CAS, there are consequences to wearing them in game! 

The moment a sim puts them on, they’ll receive a negative moodlet:

Itchy Knits (From Clothing Item) It’s as if a thousand tiny insects are nibbling the flesh!

I’m a little disappointed that these aren’t feasibly wearable in game, but I’m sure someone will fix it with custom content. It does add another unique repercussion to knitting, though!

On a more wholesome note, the ‘teach to knit’ interaction is absolutely adorable. 🥰 Knox sat down with Bee, his daughter with my simself, and got her skill all the way to level four! 

Children can knit on their own without being taught, just like adults. But I have very fond memories of my grandma teaching me to crochet as a kid, so this was an interaction I was SUPER excited to see in the game.

I still feel like this is a small pack as far as physical content goes, but the gameplay is pretty fun. Plopsy is an amazing feature, and I definitely see myself using it often! Both with buying and selling, I really feel like it adds another layer to the game and gives more self employment opportunities for sims that don’t want a traditional career. 

There’s a bit of gameplay I feel like I didn’t get the chance to fully explore yet, but I’m looking forward to integrating it all into my game.

My initial reaction to playing this pack was disappointment, but I honestly think my expectations were too high. This is a stuff pack, it’s bound to be small. After a few days to sit and play around with it, the gameplay specifically grew on me. I still have a lot of mixed feelings - some things I really like and some things I’m just not crazy about at all (cough cough, buy mode. why did everyone vote in crazy pastels? it matches NOTHING). 

But with tempered expectations in mind, I would ultimately recommend this pack for the gameplay elements alone - especially to crafters. As always, different people enjoy different things. If this style of gameplay isn’t your cup of tea, pass it up or wait for a sale!

[not-majestic-bluenicorn]

Crescent || Chapter 14

Fandom(s): ATEEZ

AU: Treasure Hunters

Genre: Action, Fantasy, Sci-Fi

Relationship: Everyone x Everyone, Established Hongjoong x Yunho

Language: English

Status: Ongoing

Chapter WC: 8,567 words

Warnings: Character Death, Stabbing, Fighting, Blood, Aliens, War, Funerals, Kidnapping, Attempted Kidnapping, Mentions of Child Abuse / Child Work, Explosions, Murder Attempt, Robbery, Homeless/Runaway Character, Torture, Mentions of Slavery more will be added.

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of slavery, Mentions of Child Abuse / Child Work.

Summary:

"Are you the Captain of that ship?" The person asked as they retained him, while someone else walked behind him and broke off the handcuffs.

"Yeah..." Hongjoong was still looking around, trying to spot all of his crew members. He managed to see Mingi, Jongho and Yeosang, but more people were still coming. "Who are you?"

"The Resistance, name's Bang Chan, and I'm the leader."

AO3

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Tagged: @angel0taiyo

Author’s Note:  Crescent is a project I started a very long time ago, more than a year ago, even. I love this story, but I still haven't finished writing it despite the fact I've been at it for like half a year. I wrote most of the chapters I have so far even before I started posting, because I wanted to continue writing while I posted so that it would be finished without me ever catching up and so you readers would never have to go without chapters... But it's starting to feel like homework. I still love the story but I just, I can't bring myself to continue writing it right now. I'm frankly tired. I've written until chapter 24 but the story is going to be about 35 chapters, so I want to ask you a favor. In my twt there will be a poll, vote on it. The first option means I'm going to continue posting the chapters I have until we get to ch 24 and I have nothing to post and then it'll just stop. The second option means I won't post anything from this chapter onwards until I feel better and start writing again. No matter the option, I'm not going to be writing Crescent for the time being, or any other long fanfics for any kpop group, in the forseeable future, because I'm too tired. Here's the poll, you have 3 days from the moment it is posted to vote. Thank you, and I'm sorry.

After Hongjoong helped the officers determine who was part of his crew, and he had made certain that everyone was safe with him including Seonghwa, their ship was towed. According to the person in charge, they would be taken to a nearby planet part of the Kim Empire. They would be detained there along with the people that had accused them (the slave traders) and they would be interrogated to determine what had happened.

Hongjoong was extremely anxious, and he hated not being in control of the situation. He did his best to calm his crew down and relay the situation to them in the best of ways, convincing them that everything was fine and nothing bad would happen to them. In reality he didn't know if things would go so smoothly, and he too was afraid.

He was beginning to consider revealing his status as the prince of the Kim Empire when they began to enter the atmosphere of the planet and the shields were activated. He didn't want anyone to know, because it would put him and his soldiers in danger, but he just couldn't see another way out from it. Once they were finally inside of the planet, the ships stopped for a while and the people they had rescued were taken to another ship.

"What are you doing?" Hongjoong asked, because something didn't feel right. He forced himself to not look at Seonghwa.

"Well, you said they were rescued from a slave ship right?" The officer said. "We're going to take them for a proper check up and see if we can gather any information on their identities, since they don't have legal papers with them."

That made sense, but it still didn't feel right that they were being separated. They weren't a part of his crew, but Hongjoong had rescued them, and he felt like he was responsible for their well being until they had made it back to their planets and their families. There was no time to hesitate anymore, he needed to reveal his identity and make sure everyone was safe.

As he attempted to stand up with his hands cuffed behind his back, there was a loud explosion on the ship to their right and he was thrown to his side. Hongjoong incorporated quickly and looked around, trying to determine where the danger was coming from. The soldiers on his ship immediately pulled out their weapons and looked around, looking for the attacker.

There was another explosion in front of them and suddenly everything was covered in dust and smoke. There was coughing as The Crescent's crew members couldn't cover their faces, and then the noise came. Screaming and yelling and fighting as someone else boarded the ship. Hongjoong himself felt someone pull him up and over to the edge of the ship. He tried to fight it, but it was hard to move when he couldn't see or breathe properly.

"Stop struggling!" The person who was pulling him around whisper-yelled at him. "I'm trying to save you!"

"Who are you?!" Hongjoong yelled between coughing. His eyes stung and he couldn't open them properly.

"You'll know soon enough!" The person yelled, hugging Hongjoong close to them as they reached the side of the ship. "Hold on tight!"

And then they were falling, quickly. Hongjoong screamed, he was still handcuffed and he couldn't really hold onto anything, but the other person was grabbing him tightly. They landed on something and bounced up and down until they were finally let on the floor. Hongjoong was put on the floor and then he felt water pour on his face. Someone wiped it carefully until he was able to open his eyes, and finally he saw that they were on another ship, and that people were still jumping onto the net.

He looked up to see The Crescent and the two guard ships covered in a thick cloud of smoke and dust. As Hongjoong processed the situation, he began to panic and quickly looked around, trying to find his crew members and count them. Every person rescued was left at another part of the deck, where they would work on removing the handcuffs and cleaning their faces. Hongjoong made an attempt to run there, but the person that had rescued him stopped him.

"Hey, calm down friend!" The person said. "We need to get those cuffs off of you."

"I need to check on my crew!" Hongjoong complained, not caring that he was still handcuffed and not in a position to do much himself.

"Are you the Captain of that ship?" The person asked as they retained him, while someone else walked behind him and broke off the handcuffs. 

"Yeah..." Hongjoong was still looking around, trying to spot all of his crew members. He managed to see Mingi, Jongho and Yeosang, but more people were still coming. "Who are you?"

"The Resistance, name's Bang Chan, and I'm the leader," Chan explained as the other person finished up the handcuffs and Hongjoong was able to move his arms again. "I'll tell you more when we get to land, go look for your crew."

Hongjoong didn't think twice and immediately left. He walked towards the little group while mentally counting heads and making sure everyone was there, trying not to panic because he still hadn't found Yunho. Eventually he found San, Hwanwoong and Siyeon. Seonghwa was also there, and so where all his soldiers. The few people missing came one after another from above, and then, at last, Hongjoong saw Yunho jump with someone else and land safely on deck.

"That's everyone boss!" A man shouted from the wheel.

"Let's get going Jeongin!" Chan shouted back to him.

The ship quickly changed directions and flew at top speed away from the scene. Hongjoong waited patiently until Yunho's handcuffs had been removed before hugging him, watching behind him as they left The Crescent behind. It hurt to see it become smaller as they ran away from the guard, since that ship had become like his home. But at least he and his crew were safe.

The realization came when they were already far away, that the people they had rescued from the slave ship were nowhere to be found. Hongjoong excused himself with Yunho and went looking for Chan. He found him next to the wheel, directing a younger looking boy as he piloted it. He was quick to join them, even though he thought it would probably be disrespectful, but he needed to know what had happened.

"Were this all the people you could save?" Hongjoong asked, looking rather urgent.

"You were the only ones on board according to our intel," Chan explained, confused.

"No, that can't be right... I'm aware that the guards were moving the people we rescued to one of their ships, but you must have seen them..." Hongjoong insisted.

"The people you rescued?" Chan raised an eyebrow. "I'm not understanding, weren't you arrested for attacking a merchant ship?"

"Yes, but we attacked a ship because they were slave traders," Hongjoong explained. "We were taking the victims to another planet to get them home."

Chan and Jeongin looked at each other before Chan nodded and Jeongin went off somewhere. Hongjoong was desperate. They were basically being kidnapped but he had still left people that he considered his responsibility back there, in a planet that they didn't know. And he still had a really bad feeling about everything that was going on.

"When we were listening to their conversation we didn't hear anything about slave traders," Chan explained. He looked more tense than before, like the news had hit him. "They probably changed their code again and we just didn't realize, it takes time to decipher them."

"Why are you attacking empire ships anyway?" Hongjoong asked. He was too stressed about the situation that he couldn't afford to be kind.

"I told you, I'm the leader of The Resistance, that's what we do," Chan shrugged, immune to Hongjoong's angry tone.

"But why?" Hongjoong insisted, tired of playing this game of asking questions.

"I'll explain everything when we arrive, for now, hold on tight." Chan warned him as he pressed a button.

The ship entered warp speed and they accelerated for what felt like an eternity. Finally, they arrived at some mountains, and Chan anchored the ship with practiced movements. Not far away from where they had anchored, there was an entrance into the mountains, a secret hideout, Hongjoong realized. Chan and his people led all of Hongjoong's crew into the labyrinth inside the mountain and provided them with food and blankets once they had made it to the main chamber.

Hongjoong didn't rest until he saw that all of his crew was safe inside the caves. He counted them multiple times and made sure everyone had what they needed, unable to sit still even when Chan insisted that he needed to rest. He only agreed to sit down when Mingi grabbed his arm and looked at him with worried and scared eyes, and he ended up squeezed between Yunho and Mingi.

"Okay, we owe you an explanation since that was basically a kidnapping," Chan said, sitting on top of a rock to make sure his voice could reach everyone else. "My name is Bang Chan, like I told your Captain, and I am the leader of The Interplanetary Resistance here in Silmerion.

"Our resistance wants to destroy the Kim Empire after all the crimes they have committed against their people, one of those such things is the arrest you just went through," Chan explained. "We just learned this from you, but apparently the ship you attacked was for slave trading. Well, The Sailfish is actually owned by the Kim Empire itself. It's one of the ships they use for trading of illegal substances." 

Hongjoong exchanged looks with Hwanwoong, who was as tense as him. They were both members of the royal family, and this meant they were in a dangerous situation. However, they were also vastly outnumbered, so they needed to act carefully to avoid attracting attention to themselves. Their soldiers seemed to understand this, because they didn't react and maintained a low profile.

Behind Hongjoong, San had his eyes trained on him and was tapping his fingers nervously against the floor. Just when he had decided he no longer wanted to kill Hongjoong, it seemed like the Universe was throwing even more challenges at him than before. He spared a glance at Yunho and knew that the soldier felt the same as him, tense with the need to protect Hongjoong from danger. San was truly done for.

"At first we thought you were resistance members from another planet, and that you were attacking the ship as part of the protests," Chan continued explaining. "But it soon became clear that was not it when your Captain told me about the slaves. Unfortunately, because we didn't prepare for it, we couldn't rescue them."

"You mean to tell me that the Empire is behind slave trading and transport of illegal substances?" One of the soldiers asked, and Hongjoong had to contain himself to not tell her to keep it down.

"Not only that. They also don't take proper care of some planets, leaving them without money or taking it from them to finance their wars and expansion, one would think some of those planets are more like colonies than rightful states of the Empire."

"Like Merth X-24?" Mingi asked.

Hongjoong turned to look at him in surprise. Mingi was never one to talk in big meetings, or even talk about himself, but this time he looked hurt and like he wanted to speak and let things out. Next to him, Jongho squeezed his hand softly and nodded slowly. Chan was also looking at him with all of his attention, motioning him to speak, to share his story.

"Merth X-24 is a mining planet, we supply a lot of the metals the Empire uses to craft their special weapons and military ships," Mingi explains, face turning red at the attention placed on him. "However we don't get much from it... My community lives in a system of underground caves because the planet is very hot and arid outside.

"A lot of people die in the caves every week, and we have a lot of orphans and elderly people that the community has to take care of, I'm one of them," it didn't hurt Mingi to speak much about the death of his parents. He didn't remember them at all and had grown being taken care of by the community like almost everyone else. "There's no compensation and we don't receive proper education either. I left the planet to find a better job and send money back to the orphanage."

"Thanks for sharing with us," Chan sighed. "Like yours, there's a lot of planets under the Kim Empire left to their own luck even when they provide to it."

Everyone in the crew was dead silent. Hongjoong's eyes were alight with fury, unable to believe what he had just heard from Mingi himself. His own crew, that was now like his family, had suffered in the hands of his father. He had seen it in Yeosang before, and had even heard Jongho's story, but now he knew Mingi and Seonghwa had been victims of it too, and who knew who else in his crew had suffered from it.

Had Yunho's ship also been a slave ship from his own Empire that had happened to be discovered and that they decided to 'rescue' as a cover up? How had Hongjoong been so blind to all of this for so long? He had been so focused always in battling, in not being the shadow of his brothers by making himself a name as a fighter that he had failed all of his people. He was no better than whoever was behind this.

He felt so guilty and so ashamed that coming clean seemed like the best option. His shoulders and back were tense as he tried to come to a decision, and Yunho seemed to sense this, because he grabbed Hongjoong's hand tightly. Hongjoong looked at him and Yunho shook his head almost imperceptibly, telling him not to do it. Hongjoong wanted desperately to come clean though.

"Well, in any case, I think you need to rest," Chan finally said, after a long moment of silence. "Rest here, we'll make sure the empire's guard doesn't come looking for you, and tomorrow we can help you decide what you'll do from here."

Hongjoong couldn't hold it back and he stood up rather abruptly, accidentally pushing Mingi who was sitting next to him. Yunho immediately stood up as well and grabbed Hongjoong's arm, pulling him back. Chan looked at them with interest, a little confused at their change in attitudes. San tensed up behind them and he noticed how every soldier did as well, ready to jump and defend their prince if he decided to act up.

"I-" Hongjoong began to say, but Yunho didn't let him finish.

"I'm sorry, our Captain doesn't feel well after hearing about this," Yunho said, holding Hongjoong's arm tightly. "He's rather sensitive, I'll take him away until he calms down."

Yunho didn't wait for anyone's approval, he just pulled Hongjoong away by the arm, and Hongjoong followed him. San used the opportunity, and while everyone was looking at the pair that had just left, he crawled out of his place and followed them in silence once things had calmed down. Yunho and Hongjoong walked into a deeper part of the cave. It was dark around them, which made it hard to see, but San managed to follow them perfectly.

"Stop pulling on me," Hongjoong complained, tearing his arm away. "We're far enough."

"What were you thinking?" Yunho asked, keeping his voice low to stop the echo of the caves propagating their conversation.

"You heard what they said about the Empire, horrible things have been happening behind my family's back and it must be stopped!" Hongjoong kept his voice to a whisper as well, as much as he wanted to scream.

San was hunched behind a rock formation, ears trained into their conversation. He could see almost perfectly in the darkness, and could hear them quite clearly as well, such was the blessing he had been made with. Soldiers from Lyria 38 were genetically engineered to be better. That was why they were so lethal, and so sought after to complete dirty jobs. They were expensive as well, although San had no idea just what price his boss had put for his services.

"But you revealing your identity will not stop anything!" Yunho grabbed him by the shoulders. "It'll just get you killed, you heard what they said, they want to overthrow the government."

"Is it so bad that I want to just apologize to them?" Hongjoong asked, sounding like he was about to cry. "I was ignorant too, I never cared for anything but war, and look what the ignorance of my family has done to them."

"It's not bad, but you won't get anything done if you're dead..." Yunho sighed, pulling Hongjoong into a tight hug.

"It's my fault, that they had to live like that..." Hongjoong muttered. "Yeosang stealing from the streets to get out of his dying planet, Jongho being put into child labor, Mingi losing his parents, Seonghwa and you being victims of human trafficking."

"Hey you don't know that, you don't know if my ship was also from the Empire," Yunho was quick to say, clearly trying to offer him an anchor, to make it a little less worse.

"I don't, but what if it was?" Hongjoong stepped away for a moment. "I feel so ashamed, so regretful... The Emperor and the royal family are always so focused on the war aspect that they leave a great deal to the advisors. We turned a blind eye to things that were more important than war and look at all the pain and suffering it's brought."

San took deep breaths as he tried to keep himself from leaving his hiding. It didn't surprise him anymore that it hurt to see Hongjoong like that, so desperate and angry with himself. He felt bad for Yunho too, who looked lost as his boyfriend was inconsolable, and wanted to step out to help them both. The thing was, San had never helped anyone before, he just knew of death and torture. And even if he had known what to do in such a situation, it wasn't his place.

Despite what Wooyoung had said about eight of them being together, San just couldn't see it. He didn't belong anywhere. He was barely human, a tool created for the work that no one else wanted to do, and despite the fact that he had come to care for the others, it wasn't right for him to be with them. It wasn't right to want to belong. And yet, he had begun to crave it, to yearn for it. 

"Hongjoong, look," Yunho said after a moment of silence, as he had tried to find the right words to say. "I cannot erase the burden from you, but we can still solve this. Remember what you said when we were at Tebos, after you learned about its status?"

"That I would go back to my family and make things right," Hongjoong nodded, remembering the promise he had maid to himself.

"We can still do that," Yunho said. "The situation is worse than we thought, but we're looking for the biggest treasure in the universe, right? We can take that treasure back home and convince your family to change things. Use the money for the greater good."

"We don't have a ship anymore, though," Hongjoong sighed, unable to see a way out. "And even if we did, we just lost the map."

"No we didn't," Yunho grinned, pulling out the little box that contained all of their progress out of his coat. "I grabbed it when the empire's ships began the commotion. I now realize they would have taken it away after arresting us, but we were lucky Chan and his people arrived right then."

"You..." Hongjoong grabbed the box carefully, eyes wide in surprise.

"I wasn't going to let all the progress go to waste, after all Yeosang and San have worked hard on it," Yunho smiled.

San crouched back down when he heard his name, heart beating fast thinking he had been discovered. Of course he hadn't, but Yunho had already proved to have a sharper eye than most. San was actually certain that Yunho had seen right through him all this time, from the moment he had stepped onto the ship, maybe the only thing that had kept him alive was that he had never confirmed San's original intentions.

"Besides," Yunho continued. "I know it's important what you're doing for your brother."

"This stopped being about my brother some time ago, let's be honest." Hongjoong smiled sadly, softly patting the pocket where he kept the compass. "I loved him so much, he was my role model, but I now realize he might have not been better than me. I have an opportunity to change things now, he would like this better."

"That I'm certain he would," Yunho nodded.

"Alright," Hongjoong said with a sense of finality. "It's decided, we have to get that treasure and save this Empire before it is too late."

"That's what I'm talking about," Yunho smiled and leaned down to press a soft kiss to Hongjoong's lips.

"Let's go back, I need to ask San and Yeosang to help me finish with the map, we were so close to being done before we were detained," Hongjoong smiled with renewed energy.

San knew he must return now, as they would probably find it weird if he wasn't there with Yeosang to help with the map. His heart was beating fast, thinking about the possibilities. Someone out there was trying to kill Hongjoong and he was the only one who knew, yet he didn’t know enough to be able to protect him. He must figure it out and help Hongjoong.

--

"You know, Hongjoong looked really affected about what Chan said..." Yeosang muttered.

Him, Mingi, Jongho and Seonghwa were sitting apart from the rest in a little group. Yeosang hadn't wanted Seonghwa to join them, but Mingi had insisted on not leaving him alone and Yeosang had been too weak to deny it to him. Jongho nodded in agreement before looking at Mingi and patting his leg. Mingi was looking down, probably from everything he had shared about himself.

San arrived at that moment and the others greeted him briefly, asking him where he had been. He gave a brief excuse about just wanting some time for himself and they left it at that. San was grateful that they didn't ask for more, because he didn't feel like making more excuses, like lying even more. 

"I'm sorry about your parents," Jongho said after a moment of silence, because he truly was.

"It's okay, honestly I didn't get to know them," Mingi shrugged. "I'm more worried about all the kids I left behind, my little siblings."

"What were they like?" Yeosang asked, resting his head on his knees.

"There were a lot of them, and most were very playful," Mingi smiled. "They liked bedtime stories, especially the story about how I lost my leg." He chuckled softly at the surprised faces of the others

"They made you tell them a story about how you lost your leg?" Seonghwa asked, confused and slightly disgruntled about the confession.

"Honestly, it's not as bad as it seems," Mingi shrugged. "To them, it makes me a hero, they never made me feel self conscious about it. I'll tell you about it if you want to know, I think I don't mind with you."

They nodded. Mingi seemed more open to share about his past now that he had talked in front of everyone in the ship and the resistance, now that he didn't have to keep things for himself. And they wanted to know more about him, to hear what he had wanted to say. It wasn't easy for Mingi to speak, it had never been, but now he felt listened to.

"We were never given better equipment to deal with the mines, despite the fact that we know the empire has the technology for it, but we always remained unsafe..." Mingi explained, giving them a little background. "That day when we were at the mine, it collapsed.

"I made it out at first, but I could hear screaming from the inside, it was a friend of mine..." Mingi shrugged, not really knowing how to put it into words. "Being trapped down there is terrifying, we live underground but we know where our exits are, when a mine caves in.. the darkness is indescribable.

"I went back in for her and managed to get her out, but the mine was still collapsing and I didn't move fast enough, a piece of rock fell on me and trapped my leg," Mingi touched his wooden leg. "It could've been worse."

"That sounds very painful," Seonghwa muttered, glancing at the wooden leg.

"It was, but I don't remember it that well," Mingi smiled. "I honestly don't miss my leg, and I was just one more victim of a mine collapsing, not a big deal."

"You're very brave to say that," Jongho said, "I think I would've been scared if I had lost an arm while working as a child."

"As a child?" Yeosang asked, a little confused.

"Yeah, I've been working in ship building since I was a child." Jongho explained. "I've been an orphan since young, and I'm honestly not sure how I got to the orphanage in the first place, but a lot of us were adopted into child labor. I know of others who were sold by their parents."

Mingi leaned on Jongho's shoulder, the only way he knew of offering comfort. Jongho's voice didn't express what he actually felt about how he had grown up, and was almost indifferent. Mingi still offered comfort, because he didn't know what else to do and he knew Jongho would never ask them for any kind of support.

"It wasn't that bad, I like to think I grew up well..." Jongho tried to shrug it off, to not let the others know of the abuse he had gone through with his voice. "Plus I learned and became an expert in ships from there, and that's what got me into The Crescent, it's not all too bad."

"What do people have with being cruel to children?" San scoffed, Jongho's story having hit close to home. "They always make a show of protecting children but then turn a blind eye..."

"Do you want to share?" Yeosang asked carefully, noticing that San was tense and probably angry.

They had all put on a show of being scared of San at first, but for what it mattered, they had never actually seen him angry at anything. Not even when Yeosang had sneaked into the ship. San shook his head. He couldn't reveal to them where he came from or what he was to begin with, but he also didn't care to go digging around his feelings. There were more important things to do.

"Alright," Yeosang nodded, dropping it once he saw San was not in a good mood.

"Was it hard for you to live on the streets?" Mingi asked Yeosang, still leaning on Jongho's shoulder. 

"A little," Yeosang shrugged. "To be honest I began spending a lot of time out when my father left us, the biggest change was just not having a roof to sleep under."

"Why did you put yourself through that?" Seonghwa asked, a little wary about even talking to Yeosang, but genuinely curious.

"My mom's abuse," Yeosang replied, although his tone gave away that he didn't like Seonghwa prying, even if he hadn't been the first to ask about it. "It became too much, she got angry every time she saw me. I decided to just leave on the streets until I could get enough money and get myself a ticket out of Tebos."

They all nodded. Mingi could remember the state of Yeosang's house when they had gone back for his stuff before taking off. The house wasn't in too bad of a shape, but it was easy to tell that it had fallen into abandonment as no one took care of it. It didn't look like it was completely devoid of life, but it looked like whoever lived there had long stopped caring. It had been a sad view, especially to him who was always used to being around a lot of people.

"What about you?" Yeosang asked Seonghwa next. "How did you end up in The Sailfish?"

"I was running away from home as well," Seonghwa shrugged. "It's none of your business though."

"Come on, you made me say it," Yeosang scoffed. "Why were you running away?"

"I made you share nothing, I asked a question and you chose to reply," Seonghwa frowned, not liking his insistence. "I'm choosing not to reply to your question."

"Come on, the rest of us shared our stories, don't be like that," Yeosang insisted, raising his voice a little.

"Yeosang..." Jongho warned him, but he didn't listen.

"Just tell us," Yeosang said again.

"Why are you forcing me and not him?" Seonghwa asked, clearly annoyed as he pointed at San.

"Because I don't trust you," Yeosang answered truthfully. "Everyone else that was rescued was content with the idea of going back home, why did you decide to stay? It's suspicious and I don't trust you."

"Fine, want to know why I don't want to go back?" Seonghwa raised his eyebrow, gesturing openly. "Imagine being called stupid and useless by your family your whole life, being denied things and overprotected as if you're unable to take care of yourself just because your brain is a little fucked up and I can’t read. I can do everything perfectly, I don't need anyone." Seonghwa crossed his arms, defensive. "I was tired of my brother making my life impossible every day, and despite everything that happened in that ship, I don't want to go back. Why don't you go back to the abuse of your mother, huh?"

Everyone was left speechless by Seonghwa's outburst. Seonghwa took a deep breath before closing his eyes and massaging his temples. He felt embarrassed about his secret being exposed like that. He knew he was not what his brother had said to his face or what his father had whispered behind his back; he was smart and could memorize long texts after someone read them to him. He was good with numbers too. But he couldn't help but see his own shortcomings.

"I'm sorry," Yeosang said, to the surprise of everyone else. "I acted like an asshole, and I'm sorry."

Mingi sat up straight again and scooted closer towards Seonghwa, grabbing his hand tightly and smiling at him. Jongho smiled, because he knew what Mingi was thinking, and also because everyone else's confusion amused him. Especially Seonghwa, who was staring at Mingi's hand probably wondering what was going on.

"I can't read either!" Mingi exclaimed, and Yeosang and San both looked at him in surprise. "I never learned how to, and although I'm sure our situations are very different, I think we're both good enough as we are."

Seonghwa looked up at him and smiled back, softly squeezing Mingi's hand. It was comforting, despite the fact that their situations were different like how Mingi had said. But he was right, it was enough just like that. Seonghwa knew he was much more than his inability to read, and he would show his parents that much.

"It's okay Yeosang," Seonghwa said finally, looking at the other. "You were indeed an asshole, but I understand why you wouldn't trust me, so it's fine. Let's try to put it behind us."

"It doesn't help if you call me an asshole just like that," Yeosang retorted, eyes narrowed down on Mingi's hand still holding Seonghwa's.

"Stop it, both of you, Captain Hongjoong is coming this way," Jongho muttered quickly, swatting at both of them.

San looked up at Hongjoong and Yunho as they walked towards them. They had taken their time to look for them as they had said previously and he worried that he might have missed something important. The situation was delicate for everyone, but San was a few steps ahead from everyone and he feared he would mess up. He had never been worried about failing before, but now there were lives he cared about at stake, and he felt fear.

"Yeosang, San," Hongjoong said. His tone was optimistic, and San wondered if it was a facade or if he truly felt hopeful again. "Yunho was really smart and brought the map with him, I need you to help me finish it."

Yeosang immediately shot up from his place, face relieved as his and San's work was still safe. San was quick to pretend to be surprised as well, although not to the extent of Yeosang, but he couldn't let the others notice that he already knew about the map. He stood up as well and let Yeosang pull him away to work on the map with Hongjoong, leaving the others behind.

Everyone watched them leave before Jongho suddenly stood up and motioned Mingi to do the same as well. Mingi followed, carefully letting go of Seonghwa's hand and letting Jongho take him away after excusing both of them, leaving Yunho and Seonghwa alone. Yunho sat in front of him with a smile and Seonghwa looked sheepishly at him, a little disoriented and vulnerable.

"You alright?" Yunho asked, leaning back. "Rough first day as a crew member."

"Don't mention it," Seonghwa sighed.

"Don't worry too much, we'll make it through this one," Yunho smiled. "Hongjoong always finds a way out, even if he sometimes needs a little push from me."

"You don't address him as the Captain?" Seonghwa asked, a little confused.

"Oh man, you still have so much to learn about this crew," Yunho chuckled. "But don't worry, if everything goes well, you'll get used to it in no time."

--

"Why did you take us away?" Mingi asked once Jongho had deemed they were far away enough and stopped walking.

"I'm going to say something to you, but you don't have to give me an answer right now," Jongho explained, rubbing his hands together.

"Okay?" Mingi didn't really understand what was going on, but if Jongho had something to say to him, he would listen.

"I'm starting to like you, as more than a friend," Jongho began, keeping it simple and direct. "You really don't have to tell me anything right now, I just wanted to get it out of my chest, I guess."

"But I-I..." Mingi stuttered.

He felt confused. What was there to like about him? He didn't have an important role in the ship and he was lacking in many ways. He was often afraid of everything and wasn't particularly smart or capable, there was nothing good about him that Jongho could like. Why was he confessing something like that at the moment?

"I don't get it," Mingi said. "There's nothing of me for you to like."

"Of course there is!" Jongho immediately interrupted him, not willing to let Mingi put himself down like that. Especially in front of him. "There's so much of you for me to like. You're so kind Mingi, so kind and so caring that you're willing to put yourself at risk for others."

"I'm not, I'm a coward..." Mingi shook his head, in denial.

"That is not true, you spoke up for Yeosang back when they were thinking of handing him over," Jongho grabbed both of his hands. "Even when you had to speak against the Captain and against the First Mate, you didn't hesitate."

"But-"

"And just now when you revealed your secret to the others in favor of comforting Seonghwa, that is not an easy thing to do." Jongho insisted, reminding him of the things he had done. "You also talked to Hongjoong about the dream you had, which helped save Seonghwa and others' lives in the end."

"But I had to ask for your help to do that..." Mingi retorted, feeling small.

"Yeah, and asking for help is also brave," Jongho smiled. "We can't do everything by ourselves, and admitting that in the first place is a huge thing. You asked for my help, but I did nothing except be by your side.You did it all by yourself."

Mingi looked at him with wide eyes. Jongho was earnest and honest, he just couldn't see any trace of lies in his words, and it made him overwhelmed in many ways. Mingi knew he wasn't necessarily bad. He was good at his job as a miner and that had always been enough, but it was the first time he had been described like this by someone. It made him feel more special than when the kids he took care of called him a hero.

"I really don't need you to reply to me right now, we're not in the best of situations," Jongho continued after a moment. "Plus, I know your heart is kind of divided right now." He smiled, making Mingi blush for being put in the spotlight like that. "I hope you know I don't mind if you like others, or if you don't like me. I just wanted to let you know you're special."

"I-" Mingi was speechless. He had never received a love confession before, how was he even supposed to reply to this? "I don't know what to say."

"I don't expect you to say anything, don't worry." Jongho smiled, letting go of his hands. "Let's go back now."

--

Yeosang left to find Chan and ask him for a place where they could work, leaving San and Hongjoong alone. They were away from everyone else from the crew and the resistance, just sort of waiting at an empty space, hidden from the eyes of others. San knew this would be the perfect time to complete his mission. He could kill Hongjoong and just run away, and by the time the others realized what had happened, he would have made himself disappear.

He tried to envision himself doing it. This was the golden chance he had been waiting for since the beginning of his mission, so he tried to imagine himself ending Hongjoong's life. It was not a surprise that he couldn't picture it. Hongjoong trusted him and even gave his back to San, but San couldn't reach for the knife in his pocket and slice his throat. He hadn't been able to for a while.

Hesitation felt foreign to him. He had never doubted when performing in missions before, which had made him a prized weapon, expensive and sought after. And yet here he was, with the only person that had managed to disarm him. Although to be fair, he was certain he wouldn't be able to kill any of the others Wooyoung had mentioned if he was asked to.

Was that the reason? Had Wooyoung's revelation been the reason he had failed to kill Hongjoong? It sounded possible, but San knew that wasn't it, because he had begun to hesitate even before that dream. What that dream had done to him though, was make him nervous. Someone had seen through him and now it felt like just about anyone could do it, like he was exposed and vulnerable and therefore in danger. Of course, Wooyoung had an advantage because he could simply walk into people's dreams, but it was still messing with him.

"Are you okay?" Hongjoong asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

At some point he had turned around to look at San, maybe had asked him something even, but San had heard or noticed none of it. He wondered what face he was making for Hongjoong to look so worried. His heart shrunk painfully in his chest as he mentally asked Hongjoong to not look at him like that, because he couldn't take his kindness any longer. San was absolutely, royally fucked.

"Nothing is wrong, I'm just tired after all that went on just now," San lied. At least he could still do that properly.

"Do you want to go rest?" Hongjoong still looked worried though, maybe even more than before. "Yeosang and I can start on the work and you can join us later when you feel more rested."

"No, it's fine." San shook his head quickly. "The map is more important, we can all rest later when we're done with it."

"Nothing is more important than your well being." Hongjoong was quick to say.

San felt his heart break a little more inside his chest. Please don't do this, he thought, because it hurt when Hongjoong was nice to him, and San wasn't used to emotional pain. He could withstand all sorts of injuries to his body, but he had long forgotten what it felt like to truly hurt inside, and he didn't want to remember. 

"Go rest, before I make you myself, and you can join us later." Hongjoong insisted with a smile, pushing San softly back towards where the rest of the crew was.

He obeyed, because he didn't think he could actually keep a facade up much longer when he was hurting so much inside. His training and the way he had been raised had broken his spirit long ago, but being part of The Crescent's crew was putting it back together, and the process hurt far much more than the breaking had. They made him feel human, and accepted, and he didn't know if he liked that.

--

Jongho was sat on the floor, thinking about the conversation he had held with Mingi, when a ragged doll fell on his lap. He looked up, finding the sharp eyes of a young man around his age standing in front of him, smiling at him. Jongho looked down and grabbed the doll. It was a very worn out dog, missing an ear and a beady eye, and it's previously white fur had become gray with age. It was incredibly ugly, but Jongho's chest swelled with recognition at it. He stood up quickly, grabbing Sunwoo by the shoulders and looking at him in the eyes. Sunwoo's smile grew bigger before he was pulling Jongho into an embrace. He was alive, they both were, despite what had seemed to be a huge improbability.

"You fulfilled your promise," Sunwoo whispered next to him, and Jongho held him even tighter. 

"You're okay," Jongho said in return. "How are you here?"

"The Resistance rescued me, many years ago, from the orphanage," Sunwoo explained, shrugging a little bit after they put distance between them. "I tried looking for you to take you with me, but there was not enough time and I didn't know where to even start looking... I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Jongho reassured him. "I am where I'm meant to be now, with my crew." He looked down at the plushie again, and smiled. "You kept it."

"It was our promise," Sunwoo nodded. "So... How did you end here?"

"It's a long story..."

--

Hongjoong was admiring the vastness of space when he felt a tap on his shoulder and the scene broke apart. He turned around, confused, but realization dawned on him when he saw Wooyoung standing in front of him. The other looked tired and antsy, like he hadn't been able to rest well despite the fact that he spent most of his time sleeping. For all that Hongjoong was mad at Wooyoung for never coming back to tell him the truth, he couldn't help but worry.

"Are you okay?" Wooyoung asked, his voice full of worry. Hongjoong felt bad, because he was the one that should have asked when Wooyoung looked like that.

"We're fine," Hongjoong assured him quickly. "You look terrible, though, are you okay?"

"I'm fine..." Wooyoung sighed, rubbing his face. "I think it's because I've been messing with my sleep schedule in order to meet with all of you more."

"You should stop doing that," Hongjoong sighed. What was it with people around him not taking care of themselves?

"I can't, our meeting will be soon and I have keep an eye on many details..." Wooyoung looked at Hongjoong for a moment before sighing. "I guess an explanation is due, but first tell me if everyone in the crew is safe, yes?"

"We're all okay, I promise, even Seonghwa." Hongjoong reassured him again. "It wasn't a pleasant experience, and we don't have a ship any more, but it could've been worse if you hadn't warned me about it."

"I'm sorry, I should've been quicker, but you'll get the ship back, don't worry," Wooyoung sighed.

"How do you know that?" Hongjoong muttered, still a little uncomfortable with the fact that Wooyoung just seemed to know so much.

Without replying, Wooyoung moved his hands and the emptiness turned into a small bedroom. The Somnum went to sit on the bed, rubbing his temples and looking even more pale than he had before. Hongjoong knew this was taking a toll on him, but he also wanted answers, and Wooyoung was finally willing to give them to him.

Hongjoong sat down on the bed next to him, hesitantly putting a hand on Wooyoung's back and rubbing it comfortingly. Wooyoung smiled weekly at him before stretching and bringing his hands together in front of his mouth, like he was considering something. He probably didn't know where to begin, and Hongjoong couldn't blame him.

"You might have figured this out by now, or not, but I'm a Somnum." Wooyoung said first, because he figured that was the best way to begin. "We have prophetic dreams at some point in our lives that reveal to us what our destiny is, and you were in my dream."

"That is..." Hongjoong didn't know how to describe it. He didn't know exactly how he felt about being in someone else's dream, not that Wooyoung could control that, it was just that Wooyoung semed to know so much about him but Hongjoong didn't know about him.

"This is a replica of my room, where I first had my dream about the seven of you." Wooyoung gestured openly, and Hongjoong looked around.

"Right, you said they're all in my ship right now, that you're the only one that's missing." Hongjoong nodded, remembering the short discussion they had had before Wooyoung warned him about the raid. "Who are the others?"

"Well, you'll be glad to know your boyfriend is part of this," Wooyoung smiled at Hongjoong's surprised face. Yunho had never mentioned any weird dreams to him. "I haven't visited him yet 'cause he scares me, but he's part of it. You already know about Yeosang and Mingi as well, because you helped save one and the other told you about the slave ship."

"I assume Seonghwa is also part of this, since you asked me to protect him," Hongjoong began to draw conclusions. "But that only makes six of us, who are the other two?"

"That would be San and Jongho." Wooyoung nodded, satisfied that Hongjoong was easily catching up. "I haven't visited Jongho's dreams though, haven't gotten a chance with how quickly everything has happened."

"But you've visited San?" Hongjoong asked, a little curious to know how the other was doing, since San hadn't seem to be doing well lately, and he couldn't figure out why.

"Yes, he didn't take very kindly to it..." Wooyoung sighed. "I'm sure he'll get over it soon though."

Wooyoung fell back on his bed and closed his eyes, rubbing his eyelids softly. He felt so tired. He had been getting a lot more visions lately, as the most important point in their mission approached, and he hadn't gotten proper rest in a long time. He now knew who was behind Hongjoong's assassination plans, but he couldn't just reveal something like that. Telling the wrong information to Hongjoong would probably ruin everything.

"So, why are the eight of us important?" Hongjoong shifted slightly so he could look straight at Wooyoung.

"We'll influence what is to become a very important historical event..." Wooyoung muttered, but his voice faltered.

"I suppose you can't tell me yet, right?" Hongjoong sighed. Even if he was beginning to understand how this situation worked, it didn't lessen his curiosity, his want for knowledge.

"Not yet, or it could ruin everything." Wooyoung looked at him apologetically, but Hongjoong dismissed it with a smile. "Just keep an eye on them, okay? Keep them close."

"I will, don't worry." Hongjoong nodded, already compromised. 

He didn't know why he trusted Wooyoung so much to begin with. They had met only three times, taking this one into account, but Wooyoung had shown that he had only the best in mind for them. Plus, Hongjoong felt so lost now that they were without a ship. He no longer felt the power he had felt before, instead, he felt like he was disappointing his older brother. He wasn't a Captain anymore, but he couldn't be a prince either, so who was he?

"You know Hongjoong," Wooyoung sat up and grabbed his hands. "For the amazing leader you are, you doubt yourself too much." The compass that Taejoong had given him materialized on Hongjoong's hands, and he gasped a little.

"Can you hear my thoughts?" Hongjoong asked, a little confused and surprised.

"A little, your thinking is very loud." Wooyoung smiled. "Have a little more trust on yourself, we will need your guidance." Absentmindedly, he brushed a strand of hair away from Hongjoong's face, the other hand still holding Hongjoong's.

Wooyoung knew so much about them through his dreams, and he had slowly begun to fall for all of them. It became confusing to visit them in dreams, to keep in mind the true status of their relationship. He couldn't help but forget sometimes, the lines of reality and dream becoming a bit blurry. Hongjoong didn't seem to mind though, as he stared at Wooyoung's face, his heart beating a little faster.

"Don't forget you're more than just your title," Wooyoung said with a smile, putting both of his hands down on his lap. Hongjoong nodded, still at a loss for words. "I don't mind if you tell Yunho about this dream by the way, I'm planning to meet all of you soon and finally explain some things." Wooyoung stood up from his bed and stretched.

"Are you leaving now?" Hongjoong asked, standing up in a hurry.

"Yeah, I'm really tired," Wooyoung smiled. "I'll be back soon though, take care."

And so, Wooyoung was gone. Hongjoong stared down at the compass in his hands and remembered the words of his brother. The situation had become bigger than he could have ever imagined, and he felt sorry and lost, but Wooyoung was right, Hongjoong was more than just a prince or the captain of the ship. He didn't know what the future had in store for him and the others, but he knew he would overcome it no matter what.

[bytheangell]

Happy Friday, friends! 

Remember last week when I said ‘oh wow I should focus on more productive things and not watch so much Critical Role next week’? I did the opposite of that. I watched SO MUCH CRITICAL ROLE THIS WEEK. I can see this being a problem for the forseeable future (I’m on episode 59 of 125 as of this week’s live episode, and even though I watch them on 1.2x speed to shave off a bit of time at 3-4 hours a pop that’s just SO MUCH TIME OKAY). So that’s going to give a good hint as to how my reading and writing updates are going to look this week, oops. In other news, we got so much snow Sunday and also Tuesday, it’s never-ending this week it seems, and we’re meant to get more Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday like... please stop snowing on days I have work, I hate having to drive in it jflkdsjflkjsd  I’m actually buying fruit and veggies and food that ISN’T frozen and cooking it, nothing complicated but BABY STEPS as I try to eat healthier. I actually had peanut butter and apples as a snack last night, who am I? 

Reading-wise, I’m almost done with the book I’m on now. I’m not in love with it which is probably why I haven’t finished yet, BUT, I just got The Year of Witching in after having it on hold with my library forever and a half so I AM VERY EXCITED TO MOVE ON TO THAT NEXT. That’ll be all the motivation I need at this point hopefully. 

Writing-wise, oof. I didn’t get much written at the start of the week but I made up for it the past two days! I finished a thing I’m going to post on Valentine’s Day, most of a thing for a server event that I’m hoping to finish in time to post by the 16th, and have a few other things I made some progress on. I have no idea why I’m struggling so much on finishing things lately. Even when I do have good writing progress days they end up jumping all over the place in terms of what I work on, and I keep doing a little bit of everything but never enough of any one thing to wrap it up. I don’t like how long I’m going between posting things, though, especially not after so many months at the end of last year of daily challenges and pretty consistent posting even without daily challenges, and I really want to get back into posting things more frequently, even if they’re shorter things. Maybe on my next day or two off I’ll do one of those ‘three sentence story’ prompts just to write new ideas and get the creativity flowing a bit more. 

Aaaaaand that’s pretty much it for the past week. Lots of snow. Lots of staying in with hot chocolate and watching critical role and hiding under the covers much longer in the mornings than I should. I hope you’re all staying safe and happy and healthy, and that you’re filling your days with things you love as much as possible <3 As always, my asks and messages are always open to shout about TSC/SH, or music or books, or to just shout into the void about life in general! 

[reynesofcastamere]

Surface Breach(2/3)[β]

(A/N: Good grief but it has been a while since my last contribution to the ship. Sad to say I’ve been caught up with several irl things, including moving and settling in to the new place. Rest assured, I do have several drafts in the works for other projects and I am hoping to set up a regular writing/submission schedule. Now that that’s out of the way...Warnings for: possessive behaviour, emotional manipulation, (negotiated) bondage, blindfolding, edging, cockwarming, blood, masochism and mentions of polyamory, coitus interruptus, and non-consensual play.  Unbeta’d and NSFW.)

Ahsoka knows the second she sets foot on her ship that time is up. She could still flee, drag this game out a bit longer and drive up the level of his frustration...But what would be the point, really? It’s been months since they parted ways, and while she hasn’t avoided his calls, she’s also made a point of not meeting with him in person. A reprimand for his behaviour, and a reminder of the challenge she’d issued.  She recalls the first, trembling breath of relief she’d taken after the medical scans were complete. He has no further hold over her than this. Nothing burrowed and secreted away beneath her skin to...Do any number of things, really. Most of which she’d rather not consider right now.

Maul is of course perfectly at ease in the pilot’s seat, already turned to face her. “Lady Tano. I trust that your last assignment was successful.” He’s being neutral, bordering on pleasant, even. But the tension is there, kept in check by the slimmest thread of restraint. “And I trust that you’re not here for small talk.” Ahsoka makes certain to keep a few feet of distance between them, arms crossed. The corner of his mouth twitches, the speed of it leaving her unsure of whether he meant to smirk or grimace. “You have business on Nar Shadaa, and I have certain...interests that need tending there.” “So you decided to catch a ride. Without asking.”  “You would have refused even if I had offered compensation. This is the most expedient method of travel.” Maul’s eyes narrow, attempting to pierce through and determine her intent. “Unless you plan to run in order to spite me.” “I’m not running anywhere.” Ahsoka retorts. “But I’m also not going to spend three whole days in hyperspace...entertaining you.” “Naturally. However, when we are not occupied with tasks and other essentials, you will make good on your promise, my Lady. Now please, sit.”  She takes up residence in the navigator’s seat, given that he’s obviously not willing to move. “I told you to stop calling me that.”

“What does it matter, if you are not truly mine? Just a monster’s delusion. Unless...”

“Don’t. Start. You can use either of my names. Just not...that.” “As you wish.”

Nothing else is said for some time. Even after the ship takes off, the course is set in, and space has blurred into blue lines, there are other responsibilities that need to be taken care of. Ahsoka has to stop herself from dragging out the time. She’s not looking forward to this. The discussion she needs to have with him, not what might happen afterward.

“Look, if this is going to continue, there need to be some ground rules.”

 “Explain.”

“First off: Unless I’m badly injured or in immediate danger, you’re not allowed to just...carry me back to your lair, no matter what your reasons are.” He’s more than capable of coming up with a multitude of excuses to do so. Which is why she’s cutting him off at the knees, figuratively speaking.  “Second: This arrangement doesn’t interfere with work. Ever. Third: I decide when anything starts. You’re not allowed to grab or molest me in any way before that.” 

Maul appears mildly amused, but the small tics that betray his impatience are growing. “This seems rather excessive for a casual arrangement.”

 Ahsoka pins him in place with a look and a hint of a Force hold. “I’m not finished. Fourth: Any marks left behind have to be concealable.” She’d walk away from this ‘business trip’ with more visible punctures in her than being dropped into a giant cacti forest on Yavin 13 otherwise.  “Fifth: No matter how far along we are, if I say ‘kyber’, we stop what we’re doing. No questions, no persuasion, nothing. If you don’t have a safeword, then pick one and tell me.”

“Is ‘stop’ somehow inadequate?” The question is soft as she releases her unseen grasp on him. Even seated, something in him reminds her of a hunter in the moment before a kill; tense with anticipation and bloodthirst.   “No.” She wets her lower lip. There’s no going back from this confession, hard as it had been for her to admit it to herself. Much less him.  “When I use ‘stop’, it usually means ‘go harder’.”

Maul’s grip is practically throttling the armrest at this point. He is trying, from the shudder in his breath, to follow the rules she’s set out so far. That’s a good sign. His eyes, though? There’s a flicker in them that she used to see from the people she’d helped or rescued during the war. The ones who fully believed that the Jedi were capable of miracles and could do no wrong. A kind of...awe. Achingly soft, and in his case, almost buried beneath avarice and raw desire. She fights the urge to squirm, and it’s not entirely from discomfort. “Is that all?”

“Yes.”

“Good, ‘scimitar’ should suffice. I have some conditions of my own.” Every word is a caress, heavy and deliberate. “You are, of course, free to object.” He produces the blindfold she’d given him from within his shirt. She remembers exactly how he’d taken her apart; bound by choice and utterly enthralled. “So long as you wear this, you will obey.” Maul purrs, heat suffusing her body as he winds and pulls the fabric taut between his fingers. “I’m not going to call you ‘Master’.” Ahsoka is certain he’d like almost nothing more. She gets far too much pleasure out of denying him, however. So he’ll have to earn it first.

“Yet.” Maul responds, overconfident ass that he is. “I have no desire for you to dull your tongue. But you will submit to my commands.” He leans in, nearly closing the gap between them, but not quite. “Such as if I tell you to get down on your knees and show me how you pleasure yourself.” He’s only saying it to provide an example, yet her thighs rub together all the same at the thought. Sightless, her cunt exposed and dripping while he watches, giving obscene praise and instructions on how to bring herself to orgasm.

“Should you want to take control, all you need do is remove it. Or ask that it be taken off.” Of course he’s not done yet. Has to finish having his say first, and bring her arousal to a fever-pitch with the only options currently allowed. “Any amount of marks you receive from other paramours, I will match in number, and I will take first priority.” There is a jealous glint, a madness in his eyes that should terrify her. “Regardless of your position and how close your mutual release is.”  Ahsoka sucks in a sharp breath. “You really expect me to just...make someone leave while they’re-”  “Yes.” Maul snarls, hushed and vicious in a way that brooks no refusal. Much as she might like to, if she does not compromise, give some inch of ground...He will lash out. Ultimately, he’s not asking for much. So far. “And should you draw a weapon on me again-” His left hand circles her jaw without actually making contact, though the intent is clear. “-be prepared to use it.” Her gaze falls to his throat, his markings almost concealing the burn scar she’d given him. But not quite. That he’d chosen to keep it at all is- “Do we have an agreement, Ahsoka Tano?”

 A small eternity seems to pass between her indrawn breath and the resulting answer. “Yes.” Ahsoka looks at him again without fear. Straight into the eyes of the monster, the murderer, the tyrant she has and will be taking into her bed for the forseeable future. “Go ahead.” The first kiss is nothing short of a conquest, taken with broken vocalizations and sharp bites. She lets him pull her in, straddling his lap in the pilot’s seat while they break for air, and offering no resistance when he ties the blindfold securely in place. “Undress. Completely.” Softer now, his lips ghosting along her jawline. It takes a bit of effort, but before long she is bared to him, nipples pebbled from arousal, the air, and the cold presence of the Dark Side. The body beneath her, the bare hands that trace and mould her form are nearly white-hot by comparison. “Perfect...Turn around, and place your hands behind my neck.” Ahsoka obeys, shuddering in pleasure as he purrs. The cuffs he attaches to her wrists are made of some kind of leather, and she instinctively tests the give of the metal chain between them. Sturdy, but nothing she can’t break out of.

The position leaves her undeniably exposed and at his mercy. She expects none, yet he grants it anyway. With each stroke, squeeze, and tug of his fingers down her body, he steadily tunes her nerves to exquisite sensitivity. He never quite touches her core, preferring to caress and grip her inner thighs and the curve of her breasts even as she pants and shifts restlessly. She can feel him against her, hard and unyielding, the cloth barrier separating them gradually being saturated with her essence. And still he makes no effort to hurry things along. “I thought you wanted to -haaaaahhhh- punish me for making you wait this long.”  “You made a game of testing my patience. It is only fitting that I return the favour. I will keep you here, on the precipice between agony and bliss...Until, in your desperation, you beg me to ‘stop’.” Maul pinches her throbbing bud and she whines an incoherent stream of vowels. “Although...Hm. Your impulsive side is endearing.”

“What are you rambling on ab-AnnnnnH!” He bites down on her shoulder while slightly twisting the bundle of nerves held captive between his digits. She’s bleeding and the pain between her legs is pure torture, but she still wants-

‘I will grant your release early. If you ask to be fucked.” “You can’t be serious.” “Three simple words are all that stand in your way.”

“Why not just order me to say it?”

“Why should I, when you so clearly want to? Despite your self-denial.”  There’s no longer anything gentle about his touch, how his nails dig in and rake across her inner thighs while her shoulders and upper back gain a rapidly-growing collection of teeth-marks. His shaft is still there, still covered and rigid, rubbing against her hot and sodden core. Ahsoka is on the verge of sobbing. Or breaking her restraints to just seize what he’s dangling in front of her. But if all it takes is a couple of words...”Please, fuck me.” She whispers, rough from repressing her whimpers.

“Again.” His lips on her throat, feeling the command rumbling against her vocal cords.

She grits her teeth and snarls. “Fuck. Me. Please. You smug, overbearing bastard.” Maul’s fingers curve over and tug her recently-abused pearl, and she is lost, sent tumbling and screaming into the abyss.

Her body is still quivering in the aftermath when he presses in. A slow invasion, one that encounters no resistance until he is fully secured within her walls. At first, she thinks he just wants her to ride him. Yet before she can start... “I will give you a choice.” Maul’s voice is low enough to feel in her bones. “If you can keep relatively still for fifteen minutes, you will be taken against the control panel. And if you are very good, Ahsoka-” Her name on his lips is electric and scandalous, her body arching as if pulled by unseen strings. “-I will get down on my knees and devour you first.” She should never have given him permission to use it in the first place. His other...’endearments’ are easy to brush off. Somehow, hearing those three syllables in this moment is more intimate than having him inside her, feeling the incremental shifts between their bodies with each breath. 

Ahsoka raises herself up, almost to the point of letting his shaft slip out, then drops back down. She can feel him hiss, how his hips jolt up on instinct once before he stops himself. “Mmmm. Think your other option is bad enough to stop me from putting this to better use?” She’s teasing now, circling and rolling her hips in a way that takes him deep, but not all the way in again. Having Maul relatively immobile is a new experience. Even when he’s not being rough, he’s hardly still. It probably won’t last, but so long as his patience holds out...Using him like a sex toy is doing a lot to rev her up right now. He seizes her head-tail and pulls, bending Ahsoka’s neck back at an uncomfortable angle, free hand grasping one of her thighs to force a stop to her movements. “Keep this up and I assure you, ja’ti mirtis{my death}, you will not enjoy sitting when I am done with you.” Maul rasps, his mouth so close to her left montral that she can feel his lips brushing against it with every word. Her core trembles, breath coming in short, sharp pants. “I wonder which would bring you more pleasure? Being bent over the edge of your cot to be mounted and used...Or disciplined until that option becomes a mercy?”  Something like insanity seizes her. It’s the only explanation for what she says next. “Both.” Ahsoka breathes. “I want-Take these off, please.” The light is harsh for the few seconds it takes her eyes to adjust, wrists slightly chafed from the cuffs as she carefully turns to face him. “I need both.” Her hands gently circle his face. “Can you do that? Get me ready with your mouth, and take me nice and slow right here?” He seems transfixed, almost unable to believe the words falling from her lips. “Think of how wet I’ll be, when you’ve finished your ‘discipline’ and I’m just aching to be ruined.” Ahsoka can taste the hunger when he captures her mouth, how similar it is to her own. Her nails claw at his shoulderblades, seeking purchase, to bury herself in him, anything. “Yes, Ahsoka.” Maul whispers, between their lips meeting in repeated, feverish collisions. “You have only to ask.” (A/N: Some of you may have noticed a slight change in the numbers up top. So yes, there will be one more chapter to this particular story. 8D Cheers, everyone!)

[ledamemangociana]

oops, i need help :(

hey frens :) i’ve made these types of posts before, and i’ve hated doing them and i hate it now, but i am in a ridiculously tight spot and i am more desperate than i imagined i would be.

i am resigning from my current job because i got an offer for a much bigger deal elsewhere. im excited to get started on it, but i, of course, have to go through the exit process at my current employment. part of this is that my last pay will be held (temporarily?) to cover any pending costs i might have. as far as i know, anything left, or if there will be no issue, it will be given back to me eventually, at the next closest salary release. this is a problem in general, but it’s even moreso because i don’t start at my next work until the 17th, which means that my first paycheck from them will be at the end of February.

the cash i have on hand is only a little over US$20, and will ZERO OUT by tomorrow, the 25th of January. i have dues, loan payments and bills all due before AND after Feb 5th, but i may not even get paid on the 5th because my pay could be held, as mentioned above. i still have at least 3 weeks to go at my current job, which i need to commute/get paid transpo to on a daily basis. i also have to buy meals because free food isnt exactly a benefit that this job has (unlike the next one im going to). i’ve had to voluntarily stop taking my maintenance medicine because it saves me about US$15 a month to not be buying it. basically i will be skint-ass broke for the forseeable future because even the pay for the new job will go to loans and payables. 

so here i am, basically cyber-begging for spare change again. im so sorry to do this again, i know we’re all in tight financial spots, and truly, i wouldnt be asking help if i didnt need it; i’d very sincerely much rather be on the giving side, supporting my friends and artists and being able to share when needed. but this is the tightest spot i’ve ever been in, and im pretty desperate to survive my day-to-day. 

anything helps, honestly. i can even stretch US$10 across a couple of days, even if that means eating a full meal only once a day - IF AT ALL - so i can make it to my office. i ask only what you can or want to give/spare. if you’re unwilling/unable to do so, even sharing this post would be a major help and very much appreciated. 

https://paypal.me/mangociana

strong apologies again for asking for your help on this, i really wish i and other people didnt have to do this, and as often. sincerest thanks to everyone who helped me get through my rough patches in the past, and to anyone who can help me again this time. thank you for your kindness, empathy and generosity :)

[bomberqueen17]

*weak laughter*

So my Dude needs to take three weeks of vacation before July.

I asked him uhhh where he wants to go. He said he wants to be able to leave the house without a bunny suit.

A-hahaha-ha. Heh. Oh. Sigh. Aha. 

Yep.

Meanwhile Western NY hospitals, select ones, are beginning to have elective surgeries again. While simultaneously laying off staff. How that’s going to work, nobody knows. They need to cut costs; the major costs are personnel. Unfortunately, the way they generate revenue are... procedures... that require staff... to perform. HMMMMMMM. In short, we won’t be seeing much of Dr. Friend for the forseeable future. 

Dude also texted me that he burnt up one of our wooden cutting boards so I have no idea what’s going on there. I also got a notice from my computer mournfully asking me to connect to the backup server because it hasn’t been able to perform a backup in ten days and well, sorry bro, the backup server’s in Buffalo and you can’t reach from here, so. 

I’ve been here exactly a month as of Tuesday. I am sure I’ve already whined. I’m going to try to get some more writing done in the 20 minutes left in this Barbie movie in the next room. Oh my gosh. 

We dug a bunch of holes in the backyard; I peeled up a bunch of sod and MathMom used the wheelbarrow to put it in all the low spots where stuff has subsided or stumps have come out or the kids have dug holes or whatever, and we’re going to maybe throw some flower seeds in there or maybe just... not. Who knows. I don’t know. It was something to do, the kids loved hunting for worms, and nothing matters. It’s going to rain all week. That’s it. That’s all I got.

I’m good. It’s good. We’re fine. It’s fine. I had a point but I don’t remember what it was. Whatever man, whatever. 

[haddonfieldproject]

1.1.2 HALLOWEEN NIGHT, SAME TIME

<<PREVIOUS ⏺ <<CONTENTS>>

2️⃣

Haddonfield, Illinois

Chelsea Keane heard a noise downstairs. She was pretty sure it was a door slam, although it was so far away in this big huge house that it was hard to tell. She took one more long pull off of the joint and stubbed out the roach in the ashtray that sat on the little wicker table in front of her. Beside the little ceramic disc decorated in scenes of Tijuana—now covered in soot, and the remains of her joint, sat her purse. It was a bag really, one of those reusable shopping bags from McNary’s Supermarket, covered in floral prints and little orange and yellow suns, birds, and bees, and little green leafy vines that formed letters which read: Earth Day 2014.

Chelsea rummaged in the bag, around tampons and makeup cases, the occasional lipstick, chapstick, selfie-stick, and ladies speedstick and found what she was looking for. A stick of Wrigley’s Gum. She unwrapped the foil, popped the piece in her mouth, balled the wrapper up between her fingers into a nice neat silver ball, and flicked it across the space in front of her where it landed between a hot water heater and the Centra-Vac system.

She returned to her purse, retrieving a small glass cylinder bottle of Dimension, the new perfume by Jennifer Love Hewitt, and bathing herself in the baby powdery aroma, thinking to herself of a Halloween, perhaps almost twenty years previous, when she had sat on this very couch and watched the actress run screaming across a square-shaped television screen while being stalked by a hooded man with a hook for an arm. Chelsea brought a DVD case out of her purse/bag. Ripe Blood. She turned it over and looked at the screenshots on the back…and the rating. Rated R for Graphic Violence.

Haven’t come much far sense my VHS copy of I Know What You Did Last Summer, she thought. Well, at least the picture quality would be better.

Hell..it’d be a lot better.

Ellen had her own theater.

Complete with a fifteen foot by nine foot screen, reclining seats, surround sound, and even a little kitchenette to nuke some popcorn and retrieve a few ice cold pops.

Lifestyles of the rich and famous, she mused.

Well, definitely rich, but only famous if you’re into watching people have sex on camera.

And there were plenty of people who were, and they paid good money for it.

What can you say? Sex sells.

And didn’t Chelsea know it too. Hell, if she hadn’t let Zeke Yates knock her up in the VIP room almost eighteen years ago, she’d probably be doing just as good as Ellen.

Well…probably not.

Chelsea tossed the DVD case back in her purse/bag and stepped toward the door at the far end of the room, careful to stay on the plywood flooring that designated Ellen’s “Smoking Loft” from the rest of the attic.

Ellen had been the smartest girl Chelsea had ever known. Chelsea presumed she would have ended up like her older sister Deborah, who also got her start in life as a dancer at the Rabbit-in-Red, although, perhaps not quite like Deborah. She didn’t see her son turning into a psychopath anytime soon and she didn’t see herself blowing her head off in the forseeable future either. Like her sister Deborah however, who was actually her half-sister, and nearly twenty years older than her, she had commited the Cardinal Sin of the biz.

“Don’t lapse on your birth control,” Deborah had told the young Chelsea and Ellen as they stood behind her on their first day at work, watching her attach fake lashes in the dingy mirror in the back haunts of the Rabbit-in-Red. “Better yet..don’t fuck the customers at all. VIP is for dancing, not fucking.”

She had pointed a picture of her kids, taped to the mirror then. “See those.”

The girls had nodded nervously.

“That’s what I got for fucking a customer.”

Chelsea had made the mistake, which hadn’t been such a big mistake afterall. She of course was quite fond of her son Joshua, but it was safe to say that the nine and a half pound baby had tanked her stripping career and any possibility of moving into the Adult Film Industry. Chelsea had packed on over a hundred pounds during her pregnancy, and post-baby had only been able to shake twenty of it. So she had settled down with Josh’s father, gotten married, enrolled in Illinois Central College, and got her bachelors degree in Communications.

Lou Martini, the owner of Rabbit-in-Red industries had hired her back—as an editor. That, combined with the few bucks her husband Whitey made around town doing the odd handyman job here and there had afforded them a decent life, with a decent house, another child, a beautiful daughter, and an overall pretty damn fine life for herself.

Chelsea stepped out unto the landing and pulled the door shut to the attic behind her and then descended the stairs toward the common room on the third floor. There was a white leather couch and a coffee table. A mini bar sat in the corner of the room with liquor that probably hadn’t been touched in years and a few pieces of modern art on skimpy end tables that probably hadn’t been properly looked at or analyzed in the same amount of time. The room was just for show, just like a giant, lifesize poster on the wall behind a thirty inch flatscreen VIZIO. Ellen in a bikini too small for her surgically enhanced breasts, sprawled on some exotic beach, sand on her knees and elbows.

Ellen was smart.

🎃

“So who is this person?” Penny Cornell asked, popping her bubble gum loudly before she spoke.

Josh looked at her in the soft light of the poolhouse. She was dressed as Velma from Scooby Doo, and he had gone as Fred, only they hadn’t bothered to get wigs or color their hair, so she ended up being a blonde Velma and he ended up being a Fred with black hair, which, in actuality totally ruined the ensemble and had in fact led to many of their peers on the streets that night during their Trick-Or-Treating run to ask, “So..what are you guys again?”

While Josh searched the cabinets in the pool house kitchenette for a proper shot glass for the Captain Morgan he had stowed away, from a mini bar that saw quite a bit more action than the one on the third floor of the main house, Penny circled the Pool Table, the stained glass lamp casting bright and blazing hues on the side of her face as she looked at the pictures on the walls.

Plenty of pictures of a certain blonde woman in lingerie. Some in a bathing suit. Some wearing nothing at all but a properly placed palm frond, or towel, in one, the handlebars of a motorcycle. Many had the blonde woman with various celebrities. Kid Rock, holding her by the waist, holding a cigar and smiling. There was one with Charlie Sheen, another with Myley Cyrus, and an older one, faded a little, starting to yellow, with future President of the United States Donald Trump. Penny’s face as she beheld these pictures was expressionless, her unassuming eyes taking it all in like a pediatrician examining the X-Ray of a kid who just broke his arm in two places.

“She’s known as Misty Dawn.” Josh said, finding a suitable shotglass, this one featuring the skyline of Charlotte, North Carolina. “She works for Rabbit-in-Red Industries. She’s a model.”

“I can see that,” Penny said, popping her gum again. Her eyes didn’t deviate from the pictures.

“She’s been in some movies too.” Josh added, unscrewing the top of the rum, “X-rated movies. Also done some webcam and stuff.”

Penny sighed and leaned against the pool table. “I see.” She said yawning, her pink wad of bubble gum visible in the corner of her mouth. “Porn must pay pretty well to have all this.” She said, waving her hand across the room to indicate that by “this” she meant this particular poolhouse as well as the mansion and the grounds beyond.

Josh poured a shot and held it out to her. “She’s kind of a star.”

Penny grunted and took the shot glass. She downed it, winced, coughed, and held it back to him. “And your mom knows her from work?”

Josh took the glass and poured another shot. “She and my mom grew up together. They were best friends in high school. Her real name is Ellen.”

Josh took the shot. He also winced and coughed.

The sound of heavy metal filled the room.

It was Josh’s ringtone for his cellphone. He pulled it from his pocket, looked at it, and then looked at Penny frowning. “It’s my mom.” He said and hit the green button on the screen.

“Yeah?”

Penny pulled her own phone out to look at it. Josh replaced the cap on the Captain Morgan and went about replacing the bottle into the minibar and the shotglass into the cabinet from whence it came.

“We are back mom,” Josh was saying, “Penny and I are outside. You probably heard Maddie, Dylan, and Cammie come in.”

Josh rounded the bar and took his girlfriend’s hand, pulling her toward the sliding glass door that led to the pool deck.

“Yeah mom, we’re coming right now.”

He hung up the phone and slid the door shut behind them. Penny was looking at the pool and the adjacent spa.

“I wanna get in that hot tub.”

Josh put a hand on her butt. “I wanna get in there with you.” He smiled wryly.

“Shoot, it’s hot enough to get in the regular pool.” She said as they started toward the main house.

“You’re telling the truth.” Josh replied.

����

“You’re gonna fall and bust your head if you don’t stop running around with that sword!” Cammie Cornell, age eight, dressed like a bumble-bee, complete with clip on wings, said, standing cross armed on the hearth.

Dylan Rawls, age thirteen and dressed like a ninja, was chasing little Maddie Keane, age five, dressed as Princess Elsa from the animated Disney film Frozen. Dylan had a plastic sword and was waving it at Maddie as she ran away from him in a circle, laughing and screaming and all the while making motions with her hands in an effort to use her “powers” to freeze Dylan in ice like her character would have been able to do in the movies.

Dylan, despite having already started puberty, was not a very mature boy. This could have been due to a lack of attention given to him by his mother, or as some psuedo-scientists would have suggested, it could have been due to a diet high in processed foods and high fructose corn syrup. His mother had never had him tested for mental defficiencies, mostly due to a nagging worry that he would fail the thing. Dylan wasn’t mentally challenged, that wasn’t quite right. He had been tested for and diagnosed as ADHD by the time he was seven, but then again so many kids were and his mother hadn’t really believed in it or the medication that was supposed to, and probably would have, helped her son. Dylan was in ways a very bright child, better at all the household electronic devices than his own mother, but in other was he was just plain immature. Chasing around a five year old in a living room with a plastic sword dressed as a Ninja after acne was beginning to pop out on his face and sprouts of hair was beginning to pop out on his balls was just case in point.

Dylan stopped and glared at Cammie, about to display another example of his immaturity.

“Don’t tell me what to do, this is my house.” He said between panting breaths.

Maddie stopped and collapsed into the brown leather sofa that faced the fireplace. Her face was red and her breath was heavy, but the smile didn’t leave her little face, nor the brightness in her little brown eyes.

“Aren’t you a little old to be playing like that?” Cammie shot back.

Dylan was about to reply when they all heard a voice from behind them.

“Cammie! Get down from there.”

It was Chelsea, she was descending the stairs holding her cellphone in her hand.

“Maddie, off the furniture please.” She said.

“Yeah Cammie, get down!” Dylan added.

Cammie jumped down from the hearth and stuck her tongue out at Dylan. He returned the gesture.

“Where is all your candy?” Chelsea asked.

“We put it on the stove.” Dylan said, pointing toward the open kitchen with his sword.

“I see.” Chelsea said, her eyes beholding the three large hulking pillowcases.

“They got quite the big haul didn’t they.”

It was the voice of Josh. He and Penny entered the room from the opposite side.

“They certainly look like they made out.” Chelsea said, placing her cellphone in her pocket. She reached into her purse/bag and took out the DVD case and held it out for her son.

Josh snatched it up. “No way! Ripe Blood!? It hasn’t even stopped running in the theaters yet.”

Chelsea smiled, “The Rabbit uses the same packaging and distribution company as the company who made the film..Danger—something or other..”

“Dangertainment.” Josh corrected and passed the case to Penny who looked interested.

“Right,” Chelsea said, putting her purse/bag on the stove next to the three pillowcases full of candy. “Well they give all their clients some freebees as promotional items. That arrived this morning.”

“Are we gonna watch it?” Josh asked, eyes wide and bright.

“You better your ass we are,” Chelsea answered.

“In the theater upstairs?” Josh asked.

“Um…yeah.” answered Chelsea.

“I’m scared.” Penny frowned.

“You can’t be afraid of scary movies if you’re gonna date my son,” Chelsea said, “Joshua loves a good horror flick. He gets it from his mom.”

Josh hugged his mother. The sentiment surprised her, but she appreciated it.

“Can I watch it?” Dylan asked.

Chelsea shook her head. “It’s too scary for the younger kids Dylan. Why don’t you go upstairs and play with Maddie and Penny’s sister…” she looked to Penny, mind scrambling to remember the girl in the bee costume’s name.

“Cammie,” Penny corrected.

“That’s right, Cammie,” Chelsea continued, “until it’s time to go to bed.”

“You guys wanna see my playroom?” Dylan asked. “I have an Nintendo WiiU, a ballpit, a bouncy house, even some laser tag!”

“Yeah!” Maddie and Cammie replied in unison. The kids began to ascend the stairs.

Penny and Josh read the back of the DVD case together while Chelsea opened the fridge, looking over their snack options in regard to their theatre experience.

As Dylan, Maddie, and Cammie reached the top of the stairs, Maddie asked him.

“Can I take a turn at your Wii Dylan?”

Dylan looked back and smiled. “You can, but Cammie can’t!”

“Why not?” Cammie whined.

“I don’t let fat girls play!” Dylan replied, in another epic display of immaturity.

With their eyes on the DVD case, and her head in the fridge, Penny, Chelsea, and Josh didn’t notice or hear Cammie descend the stairs fighting back her tears and exit the front door of the home

NEXT>>

[divorceddanneel]

I just gotta point out that there are so many reasons to actually spread out or delay IG content that aren't an "alternate agenda". I, and most people I know, post things after the fact, days later sometimes, because I'm busy, or I forgot, etc. It seems unreasonable to assume D is going around taking videos of her family and then IMMEDIATELY uploading them cause she probs doesn't have her nose in her phone 24/7... Doesn't mean J is not really there or whatever they're saying lately 🙄

Yes! Instagram is about a. collecting data on consumers and b. brand promotion. There’s tons of data analysis on when to post, how much to post, and what to post. It’s been around long enough that distinct and successful business models have developed.

It’s a bit more obvious with Gen since she pushes content so hard, but the Ackles are using a business model too — possibly more effectively, since they aren’t oversaturated with brands and they don’t over saturate the IG feeds.

When I briefly worked in social media management, we knew that posting too much was worse than posting too little. We also knew what day of the week and time of day was critical. It is absolutely worth it and completely normal to stock up on content and save it for perfect timing.

In quarantine, the platform is entirely oversaturated right now but everyone is home staring at screens and bored, and every brand is desperate to stay in people’s minds and survive business shut downs. So, despite losing the entire entertainment industry for the forseeable future, you have more online viewers than usual and more opportunities for ads. Every entertainer and business owner has lost a massive amount of revenue. If they can recoup just a fraction of a percent of revenue via instagram, it’s worth it.

So, everyone on instagram is taking advantage of the free time to make the best content they can manage, and some of them are pushing live content daily as part of the “we’re all surviving together” trend — which is not necessarily a bad thing. But the Ackles are thinking ahead and saving content for critical timing, like promoting the AMC gig, and instagram’s prime time hours.

Does that make certain viewers feel lied to? Okay, so what? you really think anyone who relies on social media for their business isn’t putting any forethought whatsoever into how they promote? You think entertainers run their brands the way your grandma posts to facebook?

Not to mention, this is a critical once in a lifetime chance for Jensen to be home with his family without even conventions to interrupt it. Why would he eat up his free time every day when he can get it done in one or two days and then forget about being on camera for a week or two?

So, all that rules out a lot of the anti “evidence” that the Ackles are divorcing, right? Let’s consider a few other ways to debunk it to.

Who has control? Because for a long time now, antis have accused Danneel of posing as Jensen online. Whenever they don’t like what Jensen posts, they blame Danneel for posting it.

So if they are in the midst of a bitter divorce, if Danneel is a problem and Jensen is only getting visitation with his children, why does she still have access to his social media?????

Think about it. The #1 way to instantly damage his reputation would be his instagram. The first thing he would do, long before even serving divorce papers, would be to lock down his social media. Even the most amicable and peaceful divorce will turn on a dime. He wouldn’t leave his brand in her hands.

If Danneel is the one posting to his instagram and writing his comments, it’s because he trusts her with it. And why shouldn’t he? She’s good at it. She’s killing it on IG in quarantine, especially. And duh, she’s his wife.

[ley-med]

Quarantine Questions...

Thank you @dxmedstudent for the new meme and for tagging me

Are you staying home from work/school? Yes, from school. “Distance education”. I must say though I miss clinicals dearly, otherwise I very much enjoy it. (Espescially the 2 hours I don’t have to spend on commuting)

If you’re staying home, who’s there with you? My whole family, parents, brother, my fiancé.

Do you have pets to keep you company? Three cats and a dog, they make life more fun.

Who do you miss the most? I have a few friends I miss, especially my best friend, though we never meet that often even in non-covid times. And it’s not a who, but I just realized I miss the uni library.

When was the last time you left your home? Last weekend I went to the forest. Apart from that, I haven’t really left home in the past 3 weeks, maybe a walk around the block here and there, and one trip to the pharmacy.

What was the last thing you bought? All kinds of OTC/prescribed drugs for my family.

Is quarantine driving you insane or are you finally relaxed? A little bit both, but I can’t deny I’m way more relaxed than I’ve been in months (yeasr?). Staying home and no exams at the moment does wonders to my anxiety and burnout.

Are you a homebody? YES. I just realized how much. Why should I even go out when everyone/everything I love is here? (But as I said, I do miss the hospital)

What movies have you watched recently? At the moment me and my fiancé are watching Locke & Key on netflix, but proper movie... We watched a few recently, but they didn’t really make an impression I guess.

An event that you were looking forward to that got cancelled? My wedding.

What’s the worst thing that you’ve had to cancel? My wedding.

What’s the best thing you’ve had to cancel? I suppose I’m glad the last day of our psychiatry block was cancelled along with the exam.

Do you have any new hobbies? Not really, it’s more like I have the time to do old hobbies, like reading or writing. And lately I’ve been baking things from time to time. And I have tons of plans, but those usually stay in the plan phase...

What are you out of? Nothing.

What music are you listening to? I’m always listening to reggae, my playlists are getting longer everyday. Sometimes I mix it with African, Indian, or celtic pub-rock beats.

What are you reading? Cloudatlas, Dirk Gently's holistic detective agency, a sci fi anthology. All at the same time. And I find myself on Wattpad or AO3 very often...

What are you doing for self-care? I stay away from news as much as I can. I eat, I excercise, I sleep.

Are you exercising? Yes. It started with a challange, 100 push-ups everyday, and my whole family’s participating. I’m not doing it everyday, but I added 3 more excercise, 100 each, an I love that my muscles are building back up.

How’s your toilet paper supply? Good.

Have you made any changes to your hair during quarantine? No. It’s very long and very natural blonde, and even though I get tempted to try new things, I love it too much. (I toyed with the idea of painting it some unnatural color just yesterday... But no.)

I tag whoever wants to do this because it’s fun (consider yourself tagged), and also @movioletta @lizziedoesvetpath @lazy2thebone @onedayiwillfullyunderstand @thelittlenessie @fencingthings @doctor-ish @wanderersofwards @silverquillsideas @chubbytifa @lida1122

[lilolilyr]

Quarantine tag game

Here's a blank: When was the last time you left your home? What was the last thing you bought? Is quarantine driving you insane or are you finally relaxed? Who are you spending quarantine with? Do you have pets to keep you company? What are your current responsibilities? Do you have a room to yourself? Are you exercising? Town, country, city? How's your toilet paper supply? What's the worst thing that you've had to cancel? What's the best thing you've had to cancel? Who do you miss the most? Do you have any new hobbies? What are you watching the most? Are you still going to work? What are you out of? Have you made any changes to your hair during quarantine?

Oh god thank you to whoever had the idea with the blank!!! I'll always do that now, cursed be tumblr mobile for making such things necessary tho xD

Tagged by @existencialvoidofexistence thank you!!! ♡

When was the last time you left your home?

I'm in the garden right now, but leaving the property? I think I have been talked into going for a walk (which is still allowed as long as you stay away from people outside your household) last weekend or sth... might have been the one before that tbh

What was the last thing you bought?

Train ticket here probably. Or food.

Is quarantine driving you insane or are you finally relaxed?

Ummm well I'm definitely not opposed to staying in all day long, so, like, yeah, but also I'm at my parents' place (see next question), & I'm still working, & my little sis is stuck in australia, so, like, overall situation? Not relaxed.

Who are you spending quarantine with?

I'm at my parents' place rn, so with them. I was planning to go there for the weekend for some time before quarantine stuff happened, but I always planned stay out the quarantine at my place, especially bc most of my housemates said they'd leave and I'd have the house for myself, which, like, epic. And then, literally on the friday before I planned to go to my parents' for the weekene, Bavaria (where I live in a shared house in the suburbs with 9 ppl but like usually 10-13 bc friends and siblings etc) got from 0 to 100 real quick and announced a quarantine starting that evening & I had to think back and forth about staying or leaving, I was in homeoffice already for a week by then so nothing was rly keeping me, but I didn't rly feel like being stuck with my parents either (don't get me wrong they're great parents and I love them but they can be a bit Much), and I rly couldn't decide, & in the end what made me leave was the fact that a new housemate and his hippie friends (rly nice people but they have a few too many spiritual/philosophical discussions in the kitchen in the evenings for my taste especially after 8h work days when any discussions just give me headaches &play too loud music when I'm trying to sleep) anyways, they had to cancel their camping trip and had to stay there for the forseeable future, and I was like, better my parents than them, espesh when my mom promised they'd let me do my own thing here. So i quickly packed my big suitcase with my laptop and my work laptop and left an hour later and here we are.

Do you have pets to keep you company?

The neihbors' cat is here a lot, I'm trying not to think about the possibility of it transmitting anything, bc honestly I don't think i'd stop petting it even if.

What are your current responsibilities?

Work wise: Social Media community management mostly

Other than that just keeping my room & my sister's room aka my office liveable lol

Do you have a room to yourself?

Yup, see above!

Are you exercising?

Ahahahhahhahaa

No sriously /that/ is a problem for me bc I hate boring sport like fitness or running which I could still do, I mean I can't very well do aerial silks in my room lol. Then again this isn't quarantine related, bc of 40h Work week + fibro not rly leaving much time to do much of anything, so... I did force myself to do some fitness tho last weekend!

Town, country, city?

Suburbs. Garden. Same situation if I had stayed home btw

How's your toilet paper supply?

50 rolls according to my mom! We didn't hamster we just have a big basement & always loads of stuff there

What's the worst thing that you've had to cancel?

Circus convention over easter *sniff*

What's the best thing you've had to cancel?

Going to work, like, physically each day, that's 1 more h for me!

Who do you miss the most?

My bff ♡ we're actually just a few min apart but can't meet (I think legally we actually still could? Idk? But like eh) @schokosweety

Do you have any new hobbies?

No but if I didn't have to work anymore I'd improve my sewing skills & finish my pink Harley Quinn top

What are you watching the most?

Not much anyway, but I did watch a few eps The Witcher, & with my parents random eps of where they are on Suits and Mentalist

Are you still going to work?

Homeoffice!

What are you out of?

Chocolate bars and banana Chips and I'm not about to ask my mom to get me some when she goes grocery shopping lol, her assessment of me eating too much junk food & moving too little is already too accurate

Have you made any changes to your hair during quarantine?

Nope! Actually need a haircut but I won't attempt anything myself xD

Tagging @schokosweety @banashee @incloudines @toboldlynerd @tanzani-coil @thegalaxyonherlips & whoever else wants to!

[zoesmuse]

Muses from the other side

I guess I finally remembered that I can say what I want and no one’s particularly listening. The current mask debate doesn’t even get it. Protect others. Ok, so how about protect yourself too. Thought about eyewear to protect you from that random cough cloud you didn’t see? Have you thought about how corona is plague level cold? Our bodies don’t think colds are that big a deal and dismiss the pemanent antibodies like shedding skin cells in the shower. The promised vaccine? I wonder if we’re going to be taking a shot in the arm every six months for the forseeable future. I think about how our “healthcare system” has normalized the reusing of masks. Myself, I’ve had one, yes, one N95 for three months. It broke a few weeks ago, and I sewed it back. I think about how they handed us a bunch of “N95′s” that the second I put it on did absolutely nothing to deter the smell of someone’s lunch as I delivered it their room, and I went right back to my alas, well worn N95. Our infection control gal found a new toy. She discovered the fit test gear, and asked me to try it. I said ok, cause, well, my relief was late of course. The saccharine blasted through the mask like water over fingertips, and I kinda laughed at her. I asked her to let me try my own N95, and nothing....until I turned my face toward the part where I sewed it back together and then, yum, sweet sweet sacharine. Nah bro. I’m staying inside and safe except when you make me work to keep my house and kiddo home. And I think about why I’m doing everything in my power to stay safe. I think about how tall and strong and independent my boy is. How his hair looks like a black shining river flowing down his back. How his wit is quicker and his ability to see through the bullshit of americana rival mine every day now. I think how I’m going to bring him out of this with everything intact, and I am stronger and more beautiful for it. I have something to live for. I have something that I value. Nothing can break that. Hell, nothing can even bend it.