#so this is basically just my first thoughts on this whole concept and the ways it could go!

[lususnatura]

🎤 🎤 🎤

a song that i associate with my muse meme!

AHH, hey, ramone!! thank you for sending in this prompt :D since you sent in three of the mic's, i shall now be treating you to three songs that make me think of blamore when i hear them / that i associate with it. an explanation of why i chose them will be in the tags <3

hozier - who we are.

icehouse - crazy.

depeche mode - personal jesus.

[riddlerosehearts]

🐍(signing with a snake for convenience) thank you for the good luck wishes, i finished the exam and it went alright! i saw your earlier post, how are you feeling right now? i myself have a cat too and can only imagine how devastated i would feel if the same thing happened to me, i'm really sorry you're going through this and hope you're still taking care of yourself. if it helps as a distraction, how would you imagine nico (& leo if you wish!) as new students at NRC?

signing with the 🐍 emoji reminds me of jamil, which imo is good because i love jamil haha. so hopefully you like him too. glad your exam went well! i'm feeling a little better now than i was earlier, but still not great, honestly. my family took that cat in as a stray who we have evidence to believe had been abandoned, and we'd given her a matching name with our other cat--our first cat is named daisy, and the one who died was named lily. we knew she'd have to be put down sooner or later but everybody felt so sure that it wouldn't be this soon. i sincerely hope your cat lives a long, healthy life.

as for your question: hmm, well, i'm terrible at explaining my thoughts sometimes. let's see if i can come up with something that makes sense LOL. i'm going to imagine an AU where rather than being isekai'd like yuu, nico is just a character from the twst universe.

so the way i see nico in the current riordanverse canon is that he's made a lot of progress toward healing from his trauma and trying to be happier and more outgoing, like he was when we were first introduced to him in titan's curse. he cares about others and wants to be able to have friends. but he still has a lot of anxiety about putting himself out there, and he still barely understands modern technology (which, i'm unsure how that'd be explained in this scenario, but it's a magic world, anything could've happened. maybe he's a fae or half-fae, or maybe he was stuck in some sort of magical stasis for decades like in PJO.) and has this lingering fear that he doesn't fit in with most people. i also see him as a natural extrovert who mostly became withdrawn as a trauma response.

so i guess if we took nico with his canon personality/development and made him a character in the twst universe, then he'd be incredibly nervous about going to NRC and not knowing how people there will react to him, but he'd also be willing to try his best. and if he got placed into ignihyde, then he'd soon end up feeling frustrated because, okay, sure, he can see why the dark mirror looked at his soul and thought he should be put into this gloomy, lifeless dorm full of quiet serious people who keep to themselves. not too long ago he might've thought that was perfect! but now because most ignihyde students keep to themselves or to their own groups while also hardly leaving their rooms, it makes for a very lonely atmosphere when nico no longer wants to be alone all the time. and when he does try to speak to his dormmates he doesn't really get most of what they try to talk about because they're engineers and tech nerds and he... very much isn't. he also doesn't understand how to operate most of the technology the dorm is filled with and runs on.

i can imagine him wanting to transfer dorms but being terrified of not fitting in any better anywhere else, until he ends up talking with yuu during alchemy class and finding out that they live in a dorm that's haunted by ghosts and otherwise only has a population of two. nico and yuu could relate to each other in a sense because even though yuu has ace and deuce as friends, they still feel lost and out of place in this world. and they think it's pretty cool that nico can control and summon ghosts. they sort of joke that it'd be a lot easier to keep the ghosts in line if they had his magic, and he's like. well what if i moved into your dorm and helped you out. which crowley decides to allow and nico is a lot happier there because even though ramshackle is way smaller than ignihyde, it's also less lonely. he can talk to the ghosts and to yuu and grim. and as he gets more used to being there and a little less afraid of opening up, he could make friends with some of his other classmates. maybe even with some of his old dormmates. if all the canon NRC students are also around in this, then i'm sure he and the shroud brothers could find something to talk about given nico's interest in mythomagic.

nico's development in the later books is also heavily influenced by will, so if we had will in this AU then that might change things a bit. i'm very indecisive just in general and also i don't get will nearly as well as a friend of mine does, so it's possible that he could get accepted into RSA which would separate him from nico, or that he could get into NRC but definitely in a different dorm because he doesn't fit ignihyde at all (will have to ask my friend her opinion on this, actually). in the latter case i think nico would especially look forward to the classes they share, but would vent to will about still not fitting in and would wish that he could transfer dorms to be with him. but crowley would discourage him from trying to transfer because of how difficult the process is and will would encourage him to put himself out there more and try harder to make friends, which could lead to his conversation with yuu and his transfer to ramshackle (it being a different case since it's not, like, an official dorm anymore and nico's magic is well-suited to crowley's own needs). leo or other characters being there at the same time might change things slightly too.

but yeah, either way, i think he'd love chilling with the ghosts in ramshackle and with his canon development where he's starting to become more open and less brooding, he could end up really enjoying being at NRC even if he still struggles sometimes! if we were talking about a version of nico who was still 100% convinced that he could never fit in with anyone and that he needed to be alone all the time, i guess he'd probably just stay in ignihyde and cause yuu a lot of confusion by summoning ghosts from ramshackle into his room to give himself someone to talk to. if he was from the PJO universe and got isekai'd into the twst world then i don't think nico would adjust well to that at all. i have a feeling that as he is right now in canon, he'd consider going to school in some other world a complete waste of time in the first place and would tear twisted wonderland apart trying to find a way home if that happened.

i am going to stop here though because i rambled about this way more than i did before though LOL. i hope this is the kind of answer you were looking for and that it doesn't all seem like. completely OOC and that what i'm trying to say makes sense. i love sharing my opinions but i'm also not very confident in them sometimes. i could try to come up with something for leo if you wanted, but i'd also love to know if you have any thoughts on how he'd be as an NRC student!

[libraryofgage]

so i wrote this yesterday and now it's become a whole thing

basically: Steve is actually smart but nobody realized it until he just fixes their various STEM related problems

anyway this is Eddie's very first experience with how smart Steve Harrington actually is

also please don't call me out if my physics explanations are wrong. just suspend your disbelief, i'm begging you lmao

also also, if you see any typos, no you didn't

---

"You're going to fail my class, Munson."

"Gee, no need to sugarcoat it," Eddie mutters, shoving his hands into his pockets and avoiding Miss Chester's gaze. His eyes land on one of the posters behind her desk, a cat hanging off a tree branch. Maybe it would like to trade places.

Miss Chester sighs, looking pointedly at the desk closest to hers. She waits until Eddie sits on it, legs hanging over the edge. "I'm serious," she says. "You're going to fail, Eddie. I don't want you to, but there's just some...disconnect happening here."

He appreciates that she's not totally blaming him. Most of Eddie's other teachers would've been berating him for his laziness by now. This, among other things, is why Eddie likes her class even if he can't wrap his head around physics at all. "I don't know, Miss. It just doesn't make sense."

"So I'm noticing." Miss Chester leans back in her chair, her finger tapping against her desk. Eddie immediately recognizes it as the drum beat from a KISS song. "You know you'll probably be held back if you fail, right?"

"Not the first time."

Miss Chester waves off his words, looking deep in thought. "What do you think about tutoring? I think you'll do better in a one-on-one setting. If you understand the concepts better, I can start grading you based on the work you do with the tutor."

"It wouldn't be you?" Eddie asks, frowning slightly. He's not sure he wants some random geek tutoring him. Not that he has anything against geeks, of course, but he's never known one to talk in a way he can understand. They get all...technical and Eddie's eyes glaze over whenever he overhears their conversations.

"No, I don't have the time. But don't worry," Miss Chester says, smiling reassuringly before pulling her roster close and looking down the list. "The student I have in mind probably knows more than me, if I'm being honest. He should be able to answer any question you have."

"What student?"

"His name is Steve."

Of course, Eddie immediately thinks of that Steve. King Steve. Steve "The Hair" Harrington with his blinding smile that's always looked a little strained in Eddie's opinion.

He then dismisses Steve Harrington as a possibility and reviews the other kids named Steve at Hawkins High. There's Steve Paulson, Steve Meyers, and Steve Barns. Maybe it's Barns? He's the only one that Eddie could imagine being somewhat good at physics.

"Are you open to tutoring?" Miss Chester asks. "For one session, at least?"

"Yeah, sure, one session. Won't help, though."

Miss Chester smiles like she knows something Eddie doesn't. Which, to be fair, she does. She knows a lot more than Eddie in terms of physics, at least. "I'll set it up. Just come by tomorrow after school."

--------

On his first day at Hawkins High, Steve realized two things.

One, his parents weren't kidding when they'd said public school would be vastly different from the private group tutoring he'd received up to that point.

Two, if he wanted to have a good high school experience, he needed to be cool. And being cool, it seemed, meant not being smart. He didn't need to be dumb, but he couldn't breeze through his classes, either.

He's done a good job of it so far. He's bored beyond reason in most of his classes, sure, but he's also popular. Nobody bothers him or tries to copy off of him, and it's great. He can even swallow down the weird surge of frustration and annoyance and guilt whenever his classmates assume he's too dumb to be a good project partner, or when his parents ask why he isn't enrolled in AP classes, or when his teachers give him confused looks after he aces tests for a unit he seemingly didn't pay attention to.

Anyway, he almost rejected Miss Chester's request to tutor a student from a different class period. He was just about to say he didn't have the time when she leveled him with a look so profoundly hopeful that he just couldn't. So, Steve said yes and now he's hesitating outside the physics classroom.

What if the student inside uses this against him? Steve thinks he could play it off, maybe convince his friends that the kid is lying, but he's not sure. Nothing dire would happen, but Steve would have to reorient himself to a new place on the social ladder, and that sounds exhausting.

"Just get it over with," he mumbles. Then, before he can chicken out and just leave the other student hanging, he opens the door and steps into the classroom.

Miss Chester isn't there. Steve knew she wouldn't be. She'd said something about a department meeting that would take her time but leave them with the classroom to themselves.

The only other person in the room is Eddie Munson, bent over a notebook and furiously scribbling on the page. He looks up when the door opens and freezes at the sight of Steve. They stare at each other for a few seconds before Eddie breaks the silence by asking, "What, get lost on your way to the locker room, Harrington?"

Steve blinks, frowns slightly, and takes a deep breath. Okay. Fine. Eddie Munson it is. "Nope. Miss Chester asked me to tutor you," he says, because that's the only reason another student would be in this room after school has let out.

Eddie laughs. He nearly falls out of his chair with how hard he laughs. He's wheezing and clutching the edges of the desk by the time Steve moves another desk to face him and sits down across from him. "Are you done, Munson?" he asks.

"Holy shit, you're serious," Eddie says, his voice slightly strained and his face red from laughing. "No fucking way Steve Harrington is here to tutor me in physics. You probably don't even know what two plus two is!"

"It's four. Do you know what 12 times 40 is?" Steve asks, watching as Eddie blinks.

"I'm not a fucking calculator, man."

"No, you're not. It's 480, by the way."

"You could've just memorized that."

Steve sighs and reaches into his bag, digging around some before pulling a calculator out. He places it on Eddie's desk and says, "Ask me something."

Eddie looks at him like he's grown a second head but still pulls the calculator closer. "1,239 plus 378."

"1,617."

He watches Eddie use the calculator, feeling smug when his face twists into confused disbelief. He then puts the calculator down and frowns at Steve. "So you can add, big whoop. Doesn't mean you can teach me shit about physics."

"Won't know until we try," Steve says, resting his elbow on the desk and propping his chin in his palm. "So, what don't you get?"

"...All of it. Just assume I don't know shit."

"You don't know Newton's laws?"

Eddie snorts, looking back down at his notebook. "There's that motion one and the reaction one," he says.

"Right. Newton's first law and his third. What about the second?"

"It's just...some equation or some shit."

Okay, Steve is starting to get an idea of where things stand. He thinks for a moment before asking, "What kind of stuff do you like?"

"What?"

"What do you like?"

Eddie looks so shocked by the question that he doesn't really think before answering, "Heavy metal. And, uh, D&D, too."

Steve knows heavy metal is music, and he could work with that but the D&D Eddie mentioned might be better. "What does it involve? The D&D?"

"It's a fantasy role playing game. Like, using your imagination to go on adventures with friends and stuff. Needs dice to work."

Oh. Perfect. "Do you have dice with you?" Steve asks. After another brief pause, Eddie nods and pulls one out of his pocket. He passes it over and watches as Steve turns it between his fingers. "Oh, an icosahedron. Cool."

"A what?"

"Icosahedron," Steve says, looking at Eddie. "It just means a twenty-sided polyhedron."

Eddie still looks confused, and Steve is about to explain it again when Eddie says, "Just call it a D20, dude."

"Oh. Sure. Anyway, let's use this," Steve says, rolling it between his fingers before letting it clatter to the desk. It bounces a few times before settling, a 17 facing up. "Do you know what made it stop moving?"

"The desk. I'm not an idiot, Harrington."

"I didn't say you were, Munson," Steve replies, leaning back slightly. "Just...yes, the desk stopped it. This is Newton's first law. If the desk wasn't there, it would have kept falling until it hit the floor. It stopped bouncing because it lost power each time it hit the desk. An object, the D20, will stay in motion, falling, unless acted upon by another force, the desk."

"That...kinda made sense," Eddie says, blinking a few times.

"Great!" Steve says, unable to help the bright smile at knowing Eddie understood him. "Okay, for the second law, the equation is mass times acceleration equals force. Basically, the movement of an object depends on how much it weighs and how much force you apply."

"Aaaand ya lost me," Eddie says.

"Okay, uh, you fight things in that game, right?"

"Yeah, kind of the whole point."

"Right, yeah, and the stuff you fight comes in different sizes, right?"

"Well, an orc isn't gonna be as big as a dragon, is it?"

Steve isn't really sure what an orc is, but he nods anyway. "Right. So if you want to move a dragon, you need to land a stronger hit than you would need for an orc."

"Duh. You're not gonna fell a dragon with a basic cantrip."

"Not sure what that is, but yeah. For this example, moving, or defeating, an object, or a dragon that weighs more than an orc, relies on how much force you apply, which is the strength you use."

"Oh. So, because an orc weighs less, I don't need as much force to defeat it," Eddie says, grinning as he fidgets with his pencil. "This doesn't really sound like math, though."

Steve shrugs. "We'll get to the math part later. Right now is basics. You need to understand those to do more complicated stuff. So, the third law, this is the action-reaction law. Music might be better for it. What happens when you strum a guitar?"

"It...makes a sound. Because it's an instrument."

"Well, yeah, but do you understand how the sound is being made."

"By...strumming it?"

"Yeah, that's part of it. Sounds are vibrations in the air that we can understand. If you touch your throat while talking, you'll feel your voice box, your larynx, vibrate to make the sound of you talking."

He waits as Eddie does exactly that. While holding his fingers to his throat, Eddie says, "Didn't know it was called a larynx. Oh, fuck, yeah, there are vibrations."

Steve nods, waiting patiently as Eddie hums for a few minutes before looking back at him. "So, vibrations. Instruments make sound because playing them causes vibrations. When you strum a guitar, the strings rapidly move back and forth, and that movement is translated into notes."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but yeah, I'm following you."

"So, the action of strumming a guitar creates the reaction of the strings vibrating. That action of the strings vibrating creates the reaction of air rippling, and those ripples create the reaction of audible noise. Did that make sense?"

"Yeah. It did," Eddie says, his voice soft as he stares at Steve like he's really seeing him for the first time.

Steve shifts uncomfortably, unused to this aspect of himself being known so well by someone at school. He's almost tempted to end things now and apologize to Miss Chester for walking out halfway through a tutoring session. Steve is practicing the apology in his head when Eddie says, "Hey, by the way, sorry for earlier."

"What?" Steve asks, trying to blink away his confusion and failing.

"You know, earlier, when I laughed at you? Pretty shitty of me to do. So, yeah, I'm sorry."

"Oh." Steve stares at Eddie for a few seconds before his shoulders relax. "It's fine. I'm not exactly known for being smart."

"Why not?"

"It's just...easier to let people think I'm dumb. Most of our classmates look at me and think I'm just, you know, a typical jock. They don't expect more from me than that, and I don't expect them to look any deeper."

"Does anyone else know, though?"

"My parents and the teachers. And you."

"Well, don't worry, big boy. Your secret's safe with me."

"Big boy?"

"Don't like it? Would you prefer Stevie?" Eddie asks, grinning as he leans in and exaggeratedly waggles his eyebrows at Steve.

Steve can't help snorting at the sight. "Whatever. Just call me what you want, Eddie," he says.

He tries to ignore the weird swooping in his stomach when Eddie's smile gets wider and he says, "You better not regret it, Stevie."

[astralibrary]

hi @marykedoesart, this is my gift to you for @natsume-ss' spring exchange!

you said you like tanuma/natsume and heartfelt, emotional themes so i went very symbolic with this, haha. i really love the idea of using imagery from the fish pond in tanuma's backyard to represent these two and their dynamic, so that became the concept i ran with. i'll explain my whole thought process below, but in the meantime i hope you like it! 💖

pls bear with me here bc this is going to be very long and wordy lol

so there's a definite theme of separate worlds here; while the environments are both pretty abstract, the idea was that tanuma is sitting in his house looking out towards his backyard where the pond is, representing the "real world," whereas natsume is in a more fantastical underwater setting, representing the world of youkai. also there's the implication that he's sitting at the bottom of the pond, aka completely immersed in that other world, while tanuma can only perceive hints of it in the reflected light & shadow on the wall.

tanuma's side is lit by the glow of the setting sun, and natsume's by an otherworldly blue light. also, there's their clothes: tanuma is in his regular school uniform while natsume is in a yukata, something that pretty much all humanoid youkai wear.

next, their poses; they're both sitting exactly the same way as a reflection of each other but natsume has his head bowed while tanuma is looking up; this is meant to represent their different approaches to their relationship. natsume is definitely more closed off, both as a defense mechanism and because he wants to protect tanuma & keep him away from the dangers of youkai. tanuma, though, is open and contemplative, maybe even hopeful; he wants to be let in and he wants to help, even if it is dangerous.

the lighting reinforces these conflicting attitudes, with tanuma's side being brighter and warmer while natsume's is darker and colder, representing this sort of "optimism vs pessimism" dynamic.

so now, the fish. the bridge between their different worlds, basically. on natsume's side it's a real fish while on tanuma's it's a shadow cast on the wall, which is obviously the original conceit of the scene in the source material: natsume can literally see the fish, while tanuma can only see its shadow. still, even if it manifests differently, it still exists to both of them, so it's a connection between them concerning youkai.

so they're both in their separate worlds, but because of this connection they affect each other, maybe in small ways at first; as the fish crosses over the barrier it leaves little effects, little disturbances behind. on natsume's side, bubbles drift up towards the surface, little pockets of air like little lifelines showing the way, and on tanuma's side little droplets fall and create ripples in the reflected water, these small things that grow and grow outward until they're not so small anymore. little feelings that bubble up and ripple out, hoping to reach the other in their own way.

the fish brings these feelings across the barrier, endlessly looping around them as they endlessly call out to each other, trying to navigate this relationship they have; it's possible to bridge the gap between them as long as they look and listen and learn to embrace the things that make them different just as much as those that bring them together.

and that's about it! my goal was to make a symbolic piece about their struggle to understand each other but with a hopeful note, so hopefully that comes across! i hope my explanation at least sort of made sense and wasn't too confusing! (to be completely transparent i only had about half of that in mind while i was drawing it, the rest sort of came together as i was writing this. neat!)

and finally, here's a still frame in the original higher resolution so you can see it a bit nicer! 💖

[sweetieviktor]

viktor x librarian! reader (headcanons + tiny scenarios) part 1

summary: how you've meet each other, when you feel in love and your first exchange of "i love you"s.

content warning: just tooth rotting fluff and cuteness between those two. :D

author notes: i know that sooo many people writed this same idea but i can't help it, it's just so cute and so good to write!! when i was writing, the words came almost instantly and gods, i love to write fluff so much!! oh, and today, when i was re-reading this with my friend i was thinking the whole time "damn i love him" ((and i was awoken until 3am yesterday trying to finish this one but i feel sleep and couldn't end it, but i finished it this morning and now, at night time, im posting in here! anyways, hope you guys like it. :) (there is more of this concept if you want to see it too! heres the link for part 2!)

» the moment the doors hang open, you turn to see who it is, and as you do so, the whole world stops.

» the prettiest man you've ever seen in your life just came into the library you work in. literally, the prettiest man.

» the way his fluffy hair falls around his face and his curious eyes keep looking at everything, scanning all corners of the room, every little thing he can, shining whenever he sees something he likes.

» and his boyish little smile, barely showing his teeth, that he was giving while talking to a furry someone just by his side.

“oh hi, dear friend!” waving, heimerdinger spoke, walking with tiny, fast steps in your direction, pausing when he was close to you. meanwhile the boy beside him was walking a little slower, his cane thudding softly against the floor.

he stopped near the yordle and looked at your face, giving a polite smile, offering to you his non-occupied hand, and you shaked it, giving him a smile of yours. “i’m viktor, heimerdinger's assistant. he said you could help me with some resources i might need, and i would very much appreciate any help your books could provide.”

“i hope you don't mind him coming here to do some researches, friend. he may come here often!” the yordle laughed, looking between the two of you and then walking away.

“ehhh.. so, do you have any books about-”

» basically, this is how you and viktor knew each other, through a friend in common. and, from this day on, he came to the library more and more often.

» at first, he just showed up, asked for a book you could provide and got out of the establishment. then, he tried to strike up a small talk with you whenever he was waiting for you to look up said books. now, he just straight up rants about any experiment he may be doing at the time.

» and if you're genuinely interested in his rant, he could go for hours just explaining every little detail to you, and he would love every second of it.

» because now he is a regular, you just analyze what he is up to in the most recent days and choose some books that might be useful to him, putting them in the drawer, below the reception desk. and when this happened for the first time he was almost flustered, because you cared enough to look up, sort and search for things that he didn't even asked for.

when you heard the door swing open, you looked at it's direction, smiling as you realized who it was. “hey, viktor! welcome again!” it was the third time this week he got to the library, looking for the same type of books, so you just worked a bit ahead this time. “i don't know if it is exactly what you need but i think that you could use these ones, they have some information you might like.”

“but i still didn't ask for anything..?” he stared at you with a puzzled face, trying to understand why you were giving him those.

“i just think it goes along with your research. also, i wanted to help.” you shrugged, smiling brightly at him.

and maybe this was when he thought for the first time “damn.. i might be in love.”

» after this, he always tried to stay closer to you, to say things you might like, to show you that he cared for you just as much as you cared for him.

» he even brought coffee (he got sweet milk for himself) and pastries for you both to share one day. and this was for sure one of the best excuses to transform a boring afternoon with no clients, into a lazy reading session, this, of course, until a client came and ruined the cutesy atmosphere between the two of you.

» of course he thought about asking you out before, but it was hard. he wasn't used to the feeling of love, of liking someone so deeply like this. so what could he do besides admire you everyday he was in your library? look at you with pure adoration, chuckle lightly whenever you said something that wasn't even that funny, and after it all just show you the most beautiful, bright and in love smile.

» he didn't like to belittle himself, but he really think you would be better with someone that wasn't him. you were so different, yet so alike him, it almost felt like it was meant to be.

» then, in one of his “oh, i will stay here for 15 more minutes and then i'll go home” times (that never lasted 15 minutes, to be honest), it was almost closing time, all of your coworkers were in their homes, no more clients in, simply, not a soul in there. only you both.

» you kept looking in his direction from afar, thinking to yourself how could you get someone so intelligent, so brilliant, so beautiful, so... him. you knew what you wanted, but again, it was hard. and, if saying your feelings out loud was way too scary, writing it all down seemed easier. so, you picked up a pen and a paper, writing in it everything that was inside your chest, your heart. you poured all your feelings into every word that you scribbled down.

» until you heard him packing up his stuff. you started to panic, and now there was only two options, leave the paper as it was and try to act neutral, or try to hide it and look even more nervous? well, there's no time to think! he was already in front of you while your head was spiraling nonstop.

“hey... you are fine? you look stressed.” he examined your face, tilting his head to the side, admiring every little feature of yours. your pretty eyes, your nose, your kissable lips...

“yes! i'm completely fine, no need to worry!” you put your hands on top of the little confession, smiling anxiously, hoping that he don't notice the sweet words you wrote down just for him.

“oh, what did you got there?” he looked at the paper, then at you, and back to paper. on a common day you would like to have his focus only on you, but it was making you even more nervous now, your stomach was turning itself, your hands were cold and trembling. and when he noticed it, he took your hand in his, and you could feel that he was shaking too. “hey... look,” he took a deep breath, almost like he didn't want to continue, like he was still choosing the right words to say. “i understand that some things we just want to keep them personal, only for ourselves. so, ehh, you don't have to show me what you wrote.”, he said with a nervous smile displayed on his lips, while caressing your knuckles with an almost feather-like touch, too afraid to ruin the moment and lose you right now.

and you didn't want to lose him too. even with your brain telling you that you shouldn't tell him, your heart knew you needed to say it, breaking itself or not. so it was now or never. “well... recently i've been thinking about our friendship, about what it could possibly be, about you.” you averted your gaze to the ground, wishing that you came up with fancier words and a better way to confess to him before it all, but you couldn't turn back now. “honestly i can't stop thinking about you, it's like you consumed every logical thought in my brain, everything that wasn't... you.” finally you looked at his eyes, just to see he already looking at you, eyes finally shining for you, because of you. “i love you, viktor. with everything in me, i really love you.” it seemed so right to say these three little words to him, to let him know how you felt since the first time you've seen him.

“and i love you too.” he came closer to you, still with his hand on yours, but now holding it gently, intertwining your fingers together, pressing quickly his lips in yours, smiling in pure awe, completely lovestruck after it. “i love you more than anything, my little star.”

[jake-richmond]

Why aren't comics more common in TTRPGs?

(This is about game design and presentation) In school one of the things I discovered is that I have trouble absorbing info from a big text book. And most TTRPGs are presented as text books. Once I understand the basic information in the book (chemistry textbook or RPG sourcebook or whatever) I can deal with the book on my own terms. I can dive into individual parts and learn, and slowly absorb the book as a whole. But I need help to get there. I need an access port. Sometimes this comes in the form of someone explaining the book to me. Explaining the rules of the game or the outline of an essay. This is great, and gives me a way in so I can absorb and master the book myself. But I don't always have someone in my life who can do that. Interestingly, I don't have this problem with novels at all. Narrative feels easier to access, at least for me.

In school I also discovered Scot McCloud's Understanding Comics. This is a pretty fantastic book which I'd recommend to everyone. It helped me understand how I process information. More importantly, it helped me understand the different people process information in different ways. I hadn't realized that at age 16, although I was starting to suspect it. Before I started making comics or games I used to be a teacher. As a teacher I could see that some of my kids were struggling with the information I was giving them, in the same way I had struggled in school. I started using comics in class to help reach these students. I'd draw little comics on my handouts or on the whiteboard to explain what we were learning. The goal wasn't to provide an entire lesson in comics form. I'm not Scott McCloud! Instead, I was trying to find an access point for my students. An on ramp. A port of entry to the ideas and material we were covering so they could engage and eventually absorb the information. It worked so well. It worked like magic. Why don't we do this more in TTRPGs? I used comics in my early games, Panty Explosion Perfect and Ocean. These were narrative comics, not rules comics, but the goal was to provide both an example of what play looked like (from a narrative standpoint) and a point of access for players who weren't sure what the game was or how to engage with it. My thought was that if you understood what the game was supposed to look like it would be easier to approach the rules. (A short comic from Ocean. The book has a bunch of these)

When my brother Nick and I started working on The Magical Land of Yeld I knew I wanted to use comics more directly as a teaching tool. Especially because part of our target audience was new and younger players who might look at a big text book (Yeld is a giant 400 page hardcover) and just bounce right off it. Like I did in school and like I often do with big games. So I needed to teach with examples and illustrations, and especially comics.

The first comics you'll encounter in the Yeld book are narrative, and designed to get you into the ideas and themes of the game. But in the first few pages we also start sprinkling in rules comics. These are presented along side the rules text. They don't replace that text, which is important. The text explains the rules in greater detail, and includes information that just couldn't be added in a single page comic. Instead, the comic is intended to be a point of access to the rules text. A player can read the comic, understand the basic concept, and feel comfortable engaging with the text. That's the goal, to make players comfortable and to make the rules text accessible.

We use comics to teach basic game mechanics, but we also use them to explain specific player facing systems. Sometimes these are things that really do need a comic to explain them, but sometimes we use comics as lures to draw player attention to mechanics that we're afraid they might otherwise not engage with. For example, in playtesting we found that when characters died during a fight the player would just sit there for the rest of the fight and not engage. It turned out, since you don't do anything in D&D once you die (except slowly die more), most players assume that's how all games work! So they hadn't even noticed that in Yeld you become a Ghost and get to ghost around and do fun Ghost stuff! I decided to create a comic that not just explained this but drew attention to it and showed why it was a fun (and important) part of the game!

Structure of play isn't always obvious to players, especially if they're new to TTRPGs or have only played D&D. You pick up habits from the games you play the most, and since most gamers play nothing but D&D there is a tendency to assume EVERYTHING works like D&D. Yeld doesn't, so we decided to take nothing for granted and make comics that very specifically show what a session of play looks like. In this example, it may not look a lot different from D&D, but the adventure is specifically divided into 5 parts. The comic illustrates these parts in a way that is easy to understand. The accompanying game text explains each part in more detail and illustrates how they are important to play. The comic serves as a ramp that gets players to the info they need.

Not all of our comics are player facing. Yeld has a rotating GM (which is awesome, btw), and this means every player gets a chance in the Game Master roll. Which means every player needs to understand how this roll works. Comics like this one, which explain how to build monsters to use in your game, help make the process easy to understand. Again, its about building a point of entry for players. A player might say "I don't want to GM, it sounds to complicated!" But its not. You just need to make it easy for them. Make the mechanics and responsibilities easy to understand. Show why they're fun! In Yeld, its important that each player takes on the GM role from time to time, since we're building a story together. Making it look fun is important! Comics help with that. What's more fun than comics?

Narrative comics are important too. At least for Yeld. I don't think every game benefits from them (although I always love seeing them). Narrative comics show players what the game is supposed to look like. What the characters do and say. What environments they visit. Narrative comics set a tone. Narrative comics let new players understand what a game is about immediately! We can hand a Yeld book to a new player or customer and they know what's up in seconds, just by reading a short single page comic. That's a powerful tool. So why don't more games use comics? Part of it is that game creators are usually not comic creators. There's not a lot of crossover. That always surprises me, but both disciplines take a lot of work. Who has time for both? Even when you have game designers that are comic creators, they often don't include comics in the games (Lancer???). I don't think this means game designers don't recognize the value of comics. I've had this conversation with so many game designers, and they usually agree that comics are useful tools. But if you don't know how to make comics, making comics for your game can be daunting. What rules should you focus on? How do you present that information in comic form? How many comics should you make? How do you hire someone to make comics, anyway? Hiring artists is expansive, btw. You know that, of course. Hiring an artist to make a set of comics for your game could cost you thousands of dollars (or more), depending on what you want. Of course, you can try to make your own comics. And you should! Really! A poorly drawn comic is not necessarily a bad comic. The point is to get your information across to your reader. to provide a point of access. You don't need great art for that (although great art can help attract people to your game). Stick figure work just fine. Here's an example, the layout for the Tea Dragon card game. Another artist took this layout and redrew it in their own style. But my goal here was to be simple and concise with my explanation of the rules. To make the game accessible.

There's a few more pages of this, but you get the idea. The purpose is to explain, and make the player comfortable with learning more. The art matters to the extent that it serves this goal. In fact, flashy or complicated art can get in the way! You'll notice in that most of the Yeld rules comics I posted above the art is pretty simple, with solid color backgrounds. You want to make your comics as easy to read as possible, and that includes avoiding clutter, overpacked word balloons and messy layout. Readers are easily distracted. It doesn't take much for them to set down a book at all. A complicated phrase or hard to read font can often be enough. And once they set a book down they may not every pick it up again. That's more true for a big text book than it is for a comics, but its still true for a comic. So our goal is to make our comic the easiest, smoothest point of access it can possibly be. So easy and smooth that the reader can slide right into the rules text without noticing! Here's my general process for creating a rules comic. This is from my friend Brian's game Scofflaws. I start by taking the basic mechanics that need to be illustrated and breaking them down into panels. The goal is to make each panel readable and not overwhelm the player. At this point I'm just doing a rough sketch. It may not eve=n be readable, but that's fine!

Next, I refine the text and art. I decide on the exact language I'll use, and I finalize where characters and other elements will be placed. As you can see, the actual layout didn't change much here. Sometimes it changes a lot!

Finally, I create the finished art. Honestly, the previous step was just fine. It explanans the rules I wanted to explain. But this last step allows me to add in some narrative flavor. The first panel contains a complicated background in order to present the game's setting. The characters look like the kind of characters you'll play in the game. This isn't nessacary for presenting rules, but it helps present the game as a whole. You want players to engage with every part of your game. The last thing you want them doing is picking up your dungeon crawling game and going "Oh, this would be great for playing Star Wars!"

(I probably shouldn't have chose than shade of red for the background. It makes the text a bit hard to read!) So again, why aren't we seeing more comics in games? Its not as if they don't exist at all, and I'm personally always excited to see them. I recently opened the Final Fantasy RPG box set and was so happy to find the rules were accompanied by cute comics. And there's lot of other examples (maybe you can post some in the comments). But I think comics are a clearly underused tool in game design and presentation. And as a comic person, let me tell you that you're leaving a valuable tool on the table if you're not considering using comics. Are they right for every game? Maaaybe not? But I think MANY MANY MANY games could benefit form them. Are they expensive? They can be. Are they hard to make? They can be. Are there people you can go to for advice? Hey, my door is open.

[vixenvoider]

I ENTERED THE VOID STATE

in this post i will explain in depth how i entered the void state and what i manifested. i will be open to questions but if you ask something that i explain in this post i won't answer it just fyi, so even though this will be long, if you are truly curious i encourage you to read the whole thing. i am sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammar mistakes that might be present.

overall story: i have been trying to enter the void for around 2 months now, and finally entered through a lucid dream. one thing i want to note before i tell my story is that i have been lucid dreaming my whole life (so if you never have, i don't know what good steps are for beginners).

the beginning: my journey started when i inadvertently came across a post about how someone else entered the void state and manifested their dream body and face. i was not into manifesting before, in fact, i actually had a problem with the whole concept of the law of attraction and didn't know there were other types of manifestation and never looked deeply into it. that being said, i have always been an open-minded person and also, a more or less spiritual person. i believe in a lot of "out there" things because a lot of said things have been proven to me (through experiences i find hard to explain so i'm not going to). i'm sharing this to let you know that due how deeply i naturally believe in such things i never really had a problem with my void concept, even though i experienced doubts (so for this area i really can't give much advice).

so after learning about the existence of the void state i searched "void state" on tumblr and skimmed some info here and there on it, what i came across included some basic methods on how to enter the void but i didn't fully understand them yet. that same night i followed a shifting guided meditation but i couldn't really get "into" it, i was a naturally anxious person who found it hard to relax so it just wasn't working, but i did see it through and try my best and i think in the long run it helped me. in the guided meditation i listened to, the person makes you walk through a door to get to your desired reality and even though the meditation didn't work, that imagery worked it's way into my subconscious and i had a lucid dream that night. i did not manifest anything that night but it was on purpose (i think). in my lucid dream i woke up in my bedroom. i looked in the mirror and decided i would change what i saw to a more desired appearance and it worked (i looked exactly like the person i was thinking of), then, i decided (with intention) to open my bedroom door and enter my dream house and it worked. at this point in the dream i thought that entering the void must be super easy since i was already basically close and could have done it there if i wanted to BUT i chose to wake up because i wanted to enter the void when i actually knew for sure what i wanted my manifestations to be. i knew i was going to want a lot if i really thought about it and i also didn't want to actually look like someone else (my whole lucid dream i was more trying to test my imagination and build my confidence). the next day i started making a void state list and writing down everything i genuinely wanted for myself.

experiencing doubts: things started to go wrong after that hahah, after my first beginner's luck(?) experience i was struggling to lucid dream (even though i've always naturally been a lucid dreamer, the times it occurs is still random and i couldn't make them happen) and meditations were only getting me so close. all in all, over the past 2 months i had 5 failed lucid dreams and several close, but failed, meditation attempts. this instilled some doubts in me, especially the lucid dreams, because apparently once you lucid dream it's meant to be quite simple but when i would affirm for the void in my dreams i would just wake up or the dream would continue.

another thing that caused me to doubt the void was questioning some of the stories on here. most of them i initially don't believe anyway because it's known there's many liars in the community and there seems to be a trend of people posting void success stories in an attempt to enter to the void (to act as if it already happened) but they technically haven't in reality yet. that being said, i did have some blogs i mostly trusted and then one day one of the blogs i trusted answered an anonymous ask about a success story and it really looked like they sent it to themselves. the reason i thought this was because the op of the blog spells a commonly used word wrong all the time but it's not a spelling mistake people commonly make (in fact, i know no one who makes this spelling mistake) but then the anon that sent them the success story made the exact same spelling mistake. it made me worry that perhaps there were no true success stories because why was this person who supposedly mastered the void bothering with sending asks to themselves to validate their blog? i mean this was all speculation but it still caused me to think.

that being said again, i still basically believed, i just wavered a little, but i definitely believed enough to keep persisting (because why not?)

the success: finally, after almost 2 months i entered the void through a lucid dream. when i realised i was dreaming i tried to make myself stay super grounded in the dream but i also thought about not taking too long since i didn't want to wake up. i did this because i realised the very first night when i had my lucid dream, i didn't get excited and try immediately, i hung around in my dream for a while and just enjoyed things (as i explained). so i wandered around the dream a bit and just looked at things, touched things, tried to feel the temperature and take note of it and then when i felt calm and not too excited i closed my eyes and affirmed for the void and entered. when i got the void i just said "i have everything on my void list" (a few times to make sure) and then stated i was exiting the void state. the void feels how pretty much everyone describes, you just know it's happening and you are pure consciousness.

what i manifested: my void state list ended up being super long and i manifested a lot of personal things that i won't share, which is what i'm sure would be the same for most people, but i'll include a list of things that others might find interesting or encouraging:

desired appearance (including body, face, height etc)

money (i came up with a plan that of how it would make sense in my country to have acquired it)

got rid of my anxiety disorder (having this was probably the most debilitating part of my life, it's also why i know meditation never truly worked for me since i could never relax and it's crazy to feel not severely stressed constantly for the first time in my life)

got rid of my autoimmune disease and fixed my eyesight (i manifested being healthy overall in general)

feel comfortable instantly, i will no longer get too itchy, feel dirty after a long day, be too hot or too cold etc. (can't really attest to this one yet but i have felt no discomfort)

dream living space and whatever bed i sleep in to always be super comfortable

opinion on the void state: overall the point is that the void state is real and you can get anything you want, getting to the void is also easy but it's just about trying to go for it and not getting discouraged. i don't want to share too much of my opinion on this because i actually find it really toxic. some people will get mad if you say you "entered" or "got to" the void because you technically are always the void, and personally, i don't find these slight changes in language to be important unless you are very sensitive to it. for me, it doesn't matter if i think about the void as something i enter or something i am because i believe it exists and that's all i need to know at the end of the day. if you want to see it as something you are, or a state or anything else, i don't think it matters as long as you believe manifestation is possible, you are the creator of your reality, you get to decide what language or thought process works for you :)

common questions: i'm going to answer some question i feel like i will get if people find this post so i'm just going to answer them here. remember that these answers are just my opinion.

question: how come people don't manifest to end world hunger, for everyone to have money, to become the next "big thing", to be a real life superhero, for everyone to be happy etc. truthfully, i think people do manifest that but i don't think they stay in this reality. a lot of people think that using the void at all means you shift your reality, idk if i believe in that, but i would have to assume the people that use the void to manifest very extreme things ultimately have to shift realities. so this would mean the reason you're not seeing these results is because these people are no longer in this reality. if you pay attention i think you will also notice that most void success stories that seem to come from reliable sources (though this is still all personal judgement) seem to be rather humble, these people just manifest to be the prettier version of themselves, to live in a nice place, to be around good people and other similar things. i think people with mostly humble desires stay in this reality and people with more fantastical desires (to be the most famous person ever, to be a multibillionaire, world peace) go elsewhere.

question: why would someone even have humble desires? i can't speak for every single person but i think it's just the desire to stick to the familiar. we want better lives but also want to feel at "home" still, i wanted to still feel like ME. maybe it seems stupid and selfish but if we really are shifting realities every time then there really is no way to actually solve world hunger anyway, it will always exist in this reality even if you or i personally go to another one. at the end of the day, life isn't fair and i am just grateful to have discovered the void to live happily and am sharing this so you can too.

question: i'm worried about the wrong people finding out about the void state. honestly, me too! but i think this falls in line with my past two answers, if someone terrible happened to stumble upon this post and entered the void, i don't think they'd stay here, they will go to some other reality more likely, so i really don't think we have to worry about someone super evil getting to the void and doing something super heinous or whatever. but honestly i do understand the worry. at first when i discovered the void i thought i wouldn't share my success story once i entered because i wanted to keep the void as quiet as possible. but just remember two things: most people do not know about the void and if they do a lot of them will give up and not persist. second, someone really evil finding it will probably leave this reality (my theory).

question: why do people not show better proof. truthfully, i don't know, for me it's because i really do want to live a private life and a lot of stuff i manifested can't be proven anyway. if i show my bank account, it could be photoshop, if i show my new face it means nothing because i revised to always look this way, i can't prove i no longer have my autoimmune disease and the list goes on. i think people with more dramatic proof also want to maintain their privacy or go to other realities. perhaps there's even been people to show dramatic proof in this reality but they had to revise that they didn't because it was a mistake.

question: do you have any overall tips? just keep persisting. and personally, i think it's okay to try several methods at once. i know some people say if you try several then it "cancels out" like, if you try lucid dreaming and it doesn't work so you meditate it means you don't "believe" lucid dreaming can work for you so then that's why it takes you so long but i think you can just tell yourself "every method works for me so i will just keep persisting". another thing i recommend trying for a few days is setting your alarm to go off at different times so day 1 is 8am, day 2 is 7am, day 3 is 9am and so forth. each day set the intention to wake up BEFORE your alarm goes off, once you successfully start waking up a few minutes before your alarm everyday this is your tangible proof that your intentions are working. this isn't really a method but more so a confidence booster that worked for me to remind myself i'm in control and powerful. if you also try this i think after a few days you will feel more confident intending to lucid dream, for your meditations to work, for subliminals to work (whatever is your personal vibe) and you will get there easier hopefully!

question: did you ever do any official lucid dreaming methods. personally the only way i ever had a lucid dream was by intending before sleeping that i would lucid dream. but methods where you wake up by setting your alarm early and going back to sleep and stuff didn't work for me. i tried but due to my anxiety i would always wake up super alert or even stressed, so i could never relax enough. but they are successful for many people so there is no harm in trying.

[chrolloluvr]

Hey, I saw some other headcanons similar to this and absolutely loved the concept! Adam x reader, love at first sight? Like he just makes it his mission to go out with reader afterwards?

Adam falling love at first sight

Note: TY FOR REQUESTING!!! This is also before the big fight on ep 8!

Female!Reader

Warnings: Cussing, creepy behavior, adam is smitten for you 🌺🌺

When he first sees you, he immediately was struck by an unfamiliar feeling. Who the hell is this chick?

He has never felt this way about Lilith, or even Eve, so what was different about you? He had to find out. And usually when he sees a pretty face on a woman, he thinks of vile, guttural thoughts. But with you, all he thought about was the way you looked so graceful, and how you carried yourself, and your beautiful eyes, and your glistening skin, and your-

Lute had violently interrupted him from his daydreaming, by basically yelling at him for the whole promenade to hear.

He had Lute immididietley do some detective digging on you. He at first was going to go up to you to ask for your digits, but he felt... nervous?

After lute reported back about her findings, she had told him all about you. He didn't know it, but he was truly in love. He just could not stop thinking about you, and how to get you.

He told Lute about these feelings, and when she explained, 'Sir, it seems you are in love', he flat out refuses it. He tries to convince himself you are just some hot broad, that he just happened to run into.

If he were in a meeting with Sera, he would have you running laps in his mind. Planning the next extermination? Goddamnit, get out of my head you stupid bitch!

He comes to the conclusion that to stop thinking about you, he needs to talk to you. So he sad Lute figure out your number and address, and thats when he tries to get with you.

This man will literally rehearse his first meeting with you in the mirror, as if he is a teenage boy going on his first date. But he isn't, and this is definitely not his first date, or at least, this is his first real time trying to impress a woman. Because usually, he does not need to act fly to get any girl he wants.

After you find out he is THE Adam, you flat out say no, because you dont want that kind of attention. So you start to ignore him. But that just motivates him to keep contacting you.

XXX-XXX-XXXX 5:31

Hey babes, wyd? you down for dinner tonight? Just you and me.

XXX-XXX-XXXX 5:33

Or maybe we can watch a movie and chill?

XXX-XXX-XXXX 5:47

C'mon babe, how can you refuse me? Ill meet you there in 30 ;)

XXX-XXX-XXXX 5:50

Hey, respond?

XXX-XXX-XXXX 7:10

Hey sugar, lets do something tmrw isntead since your clearly busy 😘

He will send you huge bouquets of flowers, along with a handmade book he made, filled with "anonymous love letters" which you can clearly tell are from him due to his messy handwriting.

He will then eventually "accidentally" bump into you. Every time he does, you are basically forced to talk to him and listen to his tangents, on how going out with him is the best choice you will ever make.

And honestly, he just does not stop bothering you. Even if you were to straight up tell him to leave you the fuck alone, he wont.

"Hey y/n whats up? Whacha doing tonight...? Maybe it can include me. im free yknow, if you ever wanna hang. Im great at choosing places or if you want you can choose-"

He is truly in love with you. He wants you to eventually be his future wife in his mind, making you the third. And in his mind, you already are.

If you just keep telling him off for months, hell, maybe even years, he will never get over you and your beauty.

If you eventually say yes to a date, he will be so excited, but will play it off because hes just chill like that. But he is down so bad for you, and honestly wants you all to himself.

[nkjemisin]

Hello NK Jemisin! I'm a huge fan of yours, and I wanted to thank you for writing all of the books you've written, and doing all that you do. You're really awesome and you are doing important work! :) I had a long question, if you have time to answer! What's your commentary on creating fantasy cultures, using real ones as inspiration? You've done this before in your stories, and I wanted to know if you had any guidance on doing it well. I'm writing my first novel right now (fantasy!) and am dealing with a surprising amount of guilt regarding using real cultures as a basis for my fake ones. On one hand, I want to create a really unique fantasy world, not the bog-standard European stuff. It's not only more interesting to me, but I also admittedly want to use my story to help introduce people to concepts that might be helpful in the real world, help readers understand what these real people go through and perhaps inspire change. On the OTHER hand, I don't know if it's 'my place' to do so (I'm Black btw, but I'm not just writing about Black-coded fantasy characters). And I'm worried about representing people in a harmful way, even if it's by accident. I'm even hung up about names! Should I use names from real languages related to the cultures I'm inspired by, or should I just make them up to emphasize that, while yes these people are clearly inspired by real cultures, they are ultimately *their own* thing. I'm really conflicted on this and am hoping you can offer some feedback and/or commentary. Sorry for the long ask. Either way, have a great day and I look forward to whatever work you do next!

If I can rephrase what you're saying here, it sounds like you're concerned about cultural appropriation -- specifically, which cultures you get to "borrow from" and "remix," how much remixing you can do before you've done damage, how to depict people from cultural backgrounds other than your own, etc.

If that's what you're asking, then there are whole schools of thought on how to "appropriate appropriately." A lot of thinking on this has evolved in the past few years, for good and for ill; Own Voices, for example. (The short version: the Own Voices hashtag movement started as a grassroots attempt to get marginalized voices telling the stories of their own cultures, because there's been a nasty trend of only white/Western/Anglophone/etc. authors publishing books about those cultures. The problem? Some publishers and readers started acting as if marginalized writers weren't allowed to do anything but stories in their own cultures -- a restriction, instead of an inclusion/correction. Worse, publishers, etc started using it as a marketing shorthand, in ways that were just... not good. They made it weird, basically.) But I'm still fond of the approach that's in Writing the Other, by Nisi Shawl and Cynthia Ward. It's centered on ethnicity/race, but a lot of its approach can be extrapolated to culture. There's too much good stuff in this book to summarize it easily, but you should read it instead of a summary anyway -- it's short.

I don't see the point of guilt, when it comes to something like this. Guilt is what you feel when you've done something wrong, and admiring another culture enough to want to tell a story featuring it isn't wrong. However, there are things you need to do -- research, conversations, considerations of power dynamics -- to reduce the harm you might end up doing by telling that story as an outsider. And note that no matter what you do, though, you might still end up doing harm. (Even people writing about their own culture can end up doing that.) If you fuck up, apologize, figure out what went wrong, and try to do better next time. That's really all you can do.

And then write whatever the hell you want. There's a persistent pressure on Black writers to only cover certain subjects, certain settings; nah. We get to have range, too. You've just got to put in the work to do it well.

Good luck.

[marvelfanfn2187a113]

Squeeze Once, Squeeze Twice

Part one of the Uncaged series

Sam and Dean & little sister!reader

Requested by Anonymous

Synopsis: you’re selectively mute, but things have gotten a lot worse since hell

Warnings: LOTS of mental trauma, mentions of torture (non graphic), lots of angst, little fluff

A/N: I took some creative liberties with this one, I’ve had this idea in the back of my head forever where the little sister fell into the cage with Sam so I wanted to put it here. Also this is set in season 6 (very loosely following the plot)

A/N 2: ok so this story took on a whole life of its own, it’s gonna jump around a bit but I think I did it in a coherent way, I hope you guys like this one because I really liked the concept 💜

You’d never been very talkative, even as a little kid. You could go days without ever uttering a word, and you never spoke to someone unless you were comfortable around them—which basically meant you’d only talked to Sam and Dean. However, you used to make exceptions—John, Bobby, Ellen, Joe, and a handful of others.

You didn’t do that anymore.

In fact, you hadn’t even talked to your brothers since hell.

Dean had been hovering over you since Death got you out, worried about how silent you’d been. He’d gotten used to how little you talked, but now it felt like you might never speak again.

He wished Death could’ve done for you what he had for Sam—put your memories of the cage behind a wall—but he’d said it was different; Sam’s body had been separate from his soul, so the memories had a disconnect, but you’d been in hell the whole time.

“Hey kiddo,” Dean spoke softly, but you flinched anyway. “We’re at Bobby’s.” He eased the Impala to a stop and turned around to look at you. “You, um…” Dean swallowed. “You remember Bobby, right?”

Dean had no idea how this hell thing worked—Sam didn’t remember, and you didn’t speak—but if it was anything like his time in hell, you must’ve felt like you were in there for over 100 years.

You just stared at Dean, and not for the first time he wondered if you even remembered English. What if Lucifer and Michael spoke so much Enochian over the past hundred years that you didn’t even remember how to speak? Was he doomed to be unable to communicate with you at all?

He was so distracted by his own thoughts that he didn’t even notice you reaching over the seat and grabbing hold of his wallet.

“Bobby.” Your voice got his attention. He whipped his head around to see you holding up a group photo he kept in his wallet. You were pointing at Bobby. “Bobby,” you repeated, the ghost of a smile twitching at the edge of your lips.

“Yeah.” Dean grinned. “Yeah, that’s Bobby.”

“Let’s get going,” Sam cut in, stepping out of the Impala. You got out quickly, trailing right behind Sam. Things had been strange between you and Sam; awkward. You had obviously formed some kind of severe trauma bond with Sam during your time in hell, but Sam didn’t remember anything that happened in the cage, so he didn’t understand the bond.

“You ok?” Sam asked you as he led the way towards Bobby’s porch. In answer, you reached your hand forward and grabbed his, squeezing it twice.

He didn’t even notice, too intent on waiting to hear you speak.

“Are you ok?” He asked again, softer, as if pleading with you to answer. You squeezed his hand twice again, and this time he noticed. “Is that supposed to mean something?” He asked, but the front door opening distracted him, so he didn’t see the way your face fell.

“Hey boys,” Bobby greeted as he stepped out onto his porch. “Hey kiddo.” His eyes landed on you, and a big grin broke out on his face. “It’s been a long time.”

Dean was the first to notice the discomfort in your subtle movements when the silence grew out awkwardly.

You felt as though everyone was waiting for you to speak, or at least to hug Bobby, but you hadn’t left Sam’s side.

Dean didn’t understand that, though—he could just tell you were uncomfortable. “You remember him, don’t you?” He asked.

“Hey,” Sam spoke softly, and you turned to look at him. He’d noticed the way your hand gripped his tightly, and the way you were leaning towards him and glancing at him. “I’ll go over there with you, if you wanna say hi. I’m right here with you.”

Your hand squeezed his twice, and Sam took that as an invitation to lead you up onto Bobby’s porch.

“Hey Bobby,” he said, releasing your hand for a moment to greet Bobby with a hug.

“It’s good to see you in one piece.” Bobby patted Sam on the back before both men pulled away. You looked up at Sam, and his tiny nod was all the reassurance you needed. You all but jumped into Bobby’s arms, and he chuckled and held you close. “Hey there. I’ve missed you around here.” Bobby pulled away, turning his attention to the boys. “We’ve got some work to do.”

…

Dean couldn’t get you to leave Sam’s side.

“Kid, we need all the help we can get with this,” Dean coaxed. “Sam’s gonna wake up, but…but we can’t wait any longer. We’re out of time. Cas and Crowley are on the move now, we’ve gotta go.”

It was like you couldn’t even hear him. You kept Sam’s hand gripped tightly in yours and you wouldn’t take your eyes off him.

“Kid—“

You looked around suddenly, as if making sure no one else was in the room.

“He remembers.” Dean stopped speaking when he heard your words. “When he wakes up, he’ll remember hell. I can’t leave him alone.”

“I get it, ok,” Dean said. “I know you guys went through all that torture together. But right now I need you, kid. Me and Bobby, we need you.“

You were quiet for a long moment, looking from Sam to Dean.

“Is Cas bad now?” Your voice was barely above a whisper.

“I…” Dean’s voice cracked. “I don’t know, kid.”

“I wouldn’t wish those memories of hell on anyone,” you whimpered. “And Cas, he…he made Sammy remember everything.”

“Hey.” Dean put a hand on your shoulder, trying to ignore the way you flinched before you relaxed. “We’re gonna fix this. We’re gonna get Cas back, and he’s gonna fix Sam.”

You didn’t speak again. Instead, you stood from your spot by Sam and took the gun Dean was holding out for you, leading the way out the door.

…

It was all going wrong, and you couldn’t even get to Sam. He’d shown up halfway through the fight, but Cas was blocking your way to him and Dean wouldn’t let go of your arm.

Sam was swaying on his feet, an exhaustion you recognized all too well. But there was a confusion in his eyes too, like he couldn’t quite put together the hundred plus years of memories that were bombarding him.

You wanted nothing more than to go to him, and Dean’s hand holding you back was killing you.

It was also bringing back memories of things you would rather forget…

Lucifer was torturing Sam again. You couldn’t force yourself to look this time—you didn’t want to know. You were tired of seeing it. And you were scared; you were always so scared.

But you did try to go to him. Over and over, every time Sam screamed in pain, you tried to go to him, but every time Lucifer used his grace to slam you back against the metal bars of the cage. It used to hurt—sometimes he would slam you so hard that something would break—but you were so used to pain that you could barely feel the little things anymore.

You were whimpering as you tried futilely to fight off the grace. You wanted to call out to Sam, but you couldn’t get your mouth to form around the words—you’d been too scared to speak for what felt like decades.

“You’re done!” Lucifer announced cheerily, wiping blood off his hands and turning away from Sam, who was curled in on himself in the corner of the cage. You couldn’t tell where the blood and beaten skin ended and the protruding bone began.

You tried again to go to your hurting big brother, but Lucifer slammed you back down again.

“I said he was done; now it’s your turn, little thing.”

“Not doing so well, are you Sam?” Castiel’s condescending voice as he turned to Sam brought you back to the moment.

“I’m fine,” Sam lied, swallowing hard and glancing at Dean. “I’m fine.” He didn’t direct it at you—the two of you had made a pact decades ago in the cage that you would never lie to each other. Not that Dean believed Sam, anyway.

“You said you would fix him, you promised!” Dean thundered, and you flinched.

“IF—“ Castiel cut in. “You stood down, which you hardly did.” Dean and Cas were having a stare-off, Dean unable to believe Cas’s betrayal. But you couldn’t take your eyes off Sam.

“Be thankful for my mercy,” Cas directed at Sam. “I could’ve cast you back in the pit.” His eyes on you finally pulled your attention from Sam, and the coldness you saw there had you shivering, suddenly thankful for Dean’s hand on your arm—a reminder that he was there. “Both of you,” Cas added.

“Cas, c’mon, this is nuts!” Dean was saying, but you couldn’t listen anymore. The fear in Sam’s eyes at Cas’s words had you more desperate than ever, and with Dean distracted you had a chance.

You broke free of Dean’s hold and made a run for Sam. You passed directly in front of Cas, and you saw his eyes flash in anger and surprise, raising a hand—whether to hit you or smite your or blast you away, you had no idea—but he held it there, waiting to see what foolish move you were making.

You reached Sam unscathed and grabbed hold of his arm, your fingers seeking out his hand. Once his giant hand was around yours, you squeezed his hand twice.

Some of the confusion in Sam’s eyes faded, and his eyes met yours with a horror that you’d gotten used to seeing.

…

Your hand squeezing Sam’s seemed to knock around some of his jumbled memories in the right order, and suddenly he was able to grab onto a single memory.

Lucifer was torturing you. After months—or years, Sam couldn’t tell anymore—of being too petrified to speak, you had finally gotten up the courage to have a whispered conversation with Sam while Lucifer was yelling at Michael about something.

The worst part was, Sam couldn’t remember what the two of you had said—all he knew is that eventually Lucifer picked up on the quiet conversation, and he had decided that “the trash was making too much noise.”

He had grabbed you by the neck—you were already a whimpering mess by the time he reached you, because you were well acquainted with the fact that Lucifer’s attention on you meant pain—and Sam had tried to stop him, tried to convince Lucifer that it was Sam’s fault, not yours, that his conversation had been interrupted.

Lucifer didn’t listen—he never did. He’d selected his victim, and he never changed his mind.

When Lucifer finally finished with you, he’d thrown you against the wall by Sam. Sam crawled over to you, careful not to make any noise.

He couldn’t ask if you were ok; he knew the answer anyway. The two of you were too scared to make any noise at all. So instead, Sam reached out his hand and wrapped it around yours, squeezing once—not too hard. The two of you needed gentle touches. Your tearful eyes met his, and he felt it; two squeezes—your response to him.

It didn’t really have one meaning; it wasn’t an “I’m fine” or “you’re ok” or even an “I’m here for you” or “things will get better.” The two of you knew you weren’t fine, you knew it would never get better in the cage, and you knew you had no choice but to be there together. But it was grounding; it was reassuring, it was whatever you needed it to be. It was “I know it hurts,” it was “I love you,” it was “I feel your pain,” it was “I’m sorry,” it was “no matter what, we go through this pain together.”

And that became your new language.

Sam blinked, bringing himself back to the moment. Your hand was still in his, and you were staring up at him, completely ignoring Castiel’s icy gaze as you waited for Sam to gather his thoughts. He looked down at your little hand gripped in his.

And he squeezed it back gently.

“You’re brave for someone too scared to speak,” Castiel cut in.

Sam’s eyes flashed to Cas. He seemed to debate within himself before speaking. “Leave her alone!”

You recognized the fear in his eyes—standing up for each other had turned out painful in the past; but Cas wasn’t like Lucifer. You hoped.

“I hope for your sake,” Cas began, turning his attention back to Dean, seeming to ignore Sam’s words. “That you never see me again.”

And he was gone.

“Hey.” Dean was by Sam’s side in an instant. “You ok?”

“I’m fine,” Sam lied again. “So um…what now?”

…

The four of you went back to Bobby’s to “regroup,” as if there was anything you could do to stop Cas.

“You two need to get some sleep,” Dean directed to you and Sam. “You guys look like crap.”

You met Sam’s eye, and he looked just as wary as you.

“What?” Dean demanded. “You guys look like you’re having a psychic conversation. I know something wrong, I’m not blind.”

“Nothing,” Sam mumbled. “It’s nothing.” He couldn’t tell Dean. He couldn’t talk about it. Neither of you were able to think about sleep without thinking about the countless times that you’d been woken up by unspeakable torture over the last hundred years. You couldn’t even remember the last time you fell asleep that wasn’t just you collapsing from exhaustion despite your fight to stay awake, and it always ended the same way; vulnerability was met with punishment.

“Alright then.” Dean looked annoyed, but he dropped it. “Well, I’m hittin the hey. Goodnight.”

Once Dean was gone, Sam and you just looked at each other.

“We’re safe now,” Sam began slowly. “I…I guess we should try—“

“I don’t wanna be alone,” you whimpered, coming closer to Sam.

“Hey, hey.” Sam grabbed your hand and gave it a squeeze, but you didn’t squeeze back yet. “I’m not gonna leave you alone. We can share Bobby’s guest room, ok?”

You just looked up at Sam, opening your mouth, then closing it.

“I know you don’t think you can sleep,” Sam said, reading your eyes. “I…I don’t think I can either. But we gotta try to…to go back to normal.”

“I don’t…” you swallowed. “I can’t—“

“I know,” Sam sighed. “I don’t think I know what normal is anymore either. But let’s figure it out together, ok?”

You nodded firmly and looked down at your hand in Sam’s.

And squeezed it twice.

Taglist:

@nyotamalfoy @mrvlxgrl @chocorade @aestheticdaisies @inlovewhithafairytale @that-wannabe-vangoghgurl @casmustdiee @987coley @deadlymistletoe @wayward-impala83 @whump-loverz

[inkskinned]

one of the things that's so frustrating is how often the arguments against us are actually happening to us. we said - you need to watch out, this will evolve into allowing fascism into legal statute. and we were told: you're a sensitive snowflake. you're annoying and stupid and have no concept of reality. nobody really believes that stuff.

but it's indoctrination for kids to even see queer people. it's grooming for kids to even be around queer people. it's disgusting to even put rainbows on kids clothes. it's inappropriate, shameful, still-an-argument. like any of this is new - we know already. for you, even seeing someone unashamed is the same thing as "forcing" it onto you. because god-forbid you confront any internal thought you have. because god-forbid you practice empathy. rage is better, i guess. it keeps you pretty.

this has always been the way of some people - a while ago, it would have been "sinful" for my white mom to marry my hispanic dad. once, in the year of our lord 2015, someone told me that "mutts" deserve a woodchipper. that one particular insult stayed with me - not because it was the first or last, but because there was something so unbelievably violent about it that i couldn't figure out how to hold it. the idea that someone is so assured of their bigotry and rage that they would paint this kind of a picture. even jokingly, even with the anonymity of the internet, it kind of centered things for me. a sense that, for some people, their rage burned so unimaginably large that it blocked even the basic fact of my humanity.

at one point, while i still had enough fire in me to get into long arguments, one of the bigots i was "debating" (being harassed by) said: to be honest, it's about the sex, not the love. between you, me, and the four walls of this blue hellsite, i actually didn't really care for "love is love" as the slogan of our community. it seemed so placid, so gentle, so ally-focused. where was the vitriol? where was the hours i spent agonizing over myself? where was the quiet moments of my life, filled with the sound of other people's hatred? this static that settles over everything; even for the action of holding her hand.

the world is unfair. i am an adult, and without the veneer and small-pond syndrome of my teenage years, the slogan has started sounding more desperate. the more places i went, the more people i met. love is love. love is defending him on a rooftop bar. the drink she throws at me goes down into my shoes while i stand there, wishing i had a better retort than what the fuck. love is both of us, keeping our heads down, the black SUV full of frat boys (?) pulled up next to us, howling, for five whole blocks, until we both gave up and had to stick our bare legs into the thicket by the side of the road, giving over into tick country rather than let it go on any longer. love is a lazy spring afternoon, my hand on her belly, the fan spinning overhead. did you hear the whole thing about target?

did you hear about being the target? that's a fun little parallel, isn't it. it almost feels like the game that-is-about-me is being played without-my-participation. someone wants to set fire to my life, and i have to wait for a response from a capitalist institution. i am watching a tiktok where a white woman under white lights complains about adult swimsuits, even though i think a lot of people would benefit from having swimming options that are not "instagram-inspired bikini" or "impossible to move in but otherwise pretty".

sometimes it just seems so fucking stupid. like, just to check, the rage you feel and the hatred - you could really just avoid all of that by minding your fucking business. sometimes (and this is true): it's not about you, and people don't need your permission. like, i don't understand any obsession with sports, but it seems to make other people happy. american football literally results in grievous bodily injury - and yet there are onesies for babies that say future quarterback. i personally don't love it, so i just don't buy that stuff. i walk by it, and don't let it bother me. there have been so, so, so many times that i was told - "so what if he's a little bit homophobic, if you don't like him, don't watch his movies." "so what if they fired her. don't buy their product." "so what if they wouldn't make a rainbow cake. just don't support them."

sometimes i feel the meaning of it scud against my body, an orca whale inside of me, threatening the boat. it is too large to see from my place; this shadow of a thing that dwarfs my petty other-concerns. i need to find a dress for an event, and florida is passing more anti-gay legislation. i need to text my friend back and confirm our plans, and someone is throwing beer bottles to the floor in a walmart because a different case had rainbows on them. it is a long fall, if i look down into it; this sense like the bottom doesn't exist. like i have only ever dipped my toes in.

sometimes i am unbelievably tired of talking about it. it feels like it has become too trite in my own poetry - queer writer complains about the state of the world! how original! - and then something else happens, and i am here again. i remember that it isn't a moment. i remember it isn't a scattered population of cartoon evil-doers, intent on world domination from behind handlebar mustaches. it is a concerted effort of real people with real power who really-do want to see my end. it is a lifetime of dodging the beercan as it sails out of the back of the van. it is a lifetime of not-kissing once we leave the apartment. it is a lifetime of watching someone protest our existence and then, very slowly, giving them the finger. it is a lifetime of holding my friends' hands and hearing the same agony in their life that i lived through. it is us, together, our faces turned upwards, the night sky so vast, milky way overhead like a lacework zipper.

it is a lifetime of staring down woodchippers.

[derangedanomaly]

sorry for this request, but I love your writing style and all the info you put in♡♡ Also want you to take a break if you get overwhelmed but here's my request.

Can you do Bad sanses + Epic sans x Death god reader? (Basically the reader but they're a god of death to help the balance with Reaper sans since Reader usually offers to help him)

It's absolutely fine, I feel so touched about the compliment..I'm happy that y'all like my work! Hope you enjoy this one, dear requester! ;)

SANS AUS X READER THAT'S THE GOD OF DEATH

(Nightmare, Dust, Killer, Horror, Cross, Error, Epic, Reaper)

Nightmare:

He's very confused at the start to be honest. There's already a reaper, why is there another one?? Was his question, which he (at the end), finally understood.

Holds respect towards you. I mean, you have the responsibility of every dead person, and you never failed. Respect.

Wants to know more about the whole concept of death, but is too busy to focus on it 😭

Is rather surprised that you don't have the 'touch of death' like Reaper, but instead work...kinda like Hades.

Is very jealous every time you help out Reaper. He literally can't stand it, so he just stays in his room to sulk for the whole day. 😂

Very quickly found out that you're immortal, and that mortal weapons don't do shit to your health.

Feels a little unstoppable now that they have the God of Death on their side. (You don't play on sides though, which he doesn't know 😀)

Would love to see how you work. The concept of death always interested him, so he always asks questions about it whenever he has the chance.

Dust:

Dust is not the type of person to simp over someone so quickly. Unless it's you.

The first time he sees you, he literally can't think straight. Finds you very attractive. (The fact that you're the god of death makes him feel something. 💀)

He feels so disgusted by himself, like... Killer's supposed to be the simp here, not him!

Since he's kind of like a nerd when it comes to monster species, he literally geeks out when you two are alone, but he also can't talk properly to you, because he's so attracted to you. 😭

You once took him to the underworld and he almost combusted right then and there. You found it quite cute how he almost resembled a kid in a toy store.

Dust doesn't like Reaper much, so when he found out that you two work together....things didn't end up very good. 😀

Killer makes fun of Dust constantly whenever you're around, but Dust always makes him regret that decision... (He beats his ass)

He has those heart eyes around you, which is really cute 😭

Killer:

Everyone knows that Killer will flirt with anything that walks. So of course his first thought was to flirt with you.

He's always close by whenever you're working, which you quickly found out that it's because he's following you, and not in a cute way. (Stalker vibes 💀)

Look, he just has nothing to do, and he's curious about your work.

One time threatened Nightmare that he can use your deadly touch on him, which backfired, since your powers don't work like that 💀 (Nightmare chased Killer for a long time after that)

Is confused on why you're even offering your help to Reaper. (Also doesn't like Reaper 😢)

Calls you weird nicknames, like...'Deadly Cutie' or just straight up 'Dead'

Wants to redo that one scene in Puss in boots with you, but you don't have time for that. He never gives up though.

Uses those stupid cringe pick-up lines. "Is it true that you are death? Because I’m hoping you’ll bring me along." 💀

Horror:

His first thought was that if he died if he tried to eat you 💀

Horror, in some aspects, kind of reminds you of your dog, Cerberus, so you can't help but treat him as one sometimes.

He's just a hungry killer...so your solution? Feed him the people that died. 💀

After you first gave him the approval to eat the person that died, he's just following you around whenever.

Him and Cerberus don't quite get along, they're both jealous of one another.

The only way you can make them co-operate is if you call them "My boys". Which is doing some things to Horror. 😏

"Ugh..look, I don't want you to do that, ok?! My boys! Come with me." "YES SIR/MA'AM!"

Doesn't mind the fact that you're working with Reaper. He actually likes him! ^^ (FIRST SKELETON TO EVER LIKE REAPER!!!)

Cross:

He literally runs away, the first time he learns about who you are.

Look, he's just frightened about your position, he doesn't want to die. (For now)

It calms his nerves when he finds out that you don't have the deadly touch. Thank god for that...

Cross takes a little time before he starts to trust someone, so he's very much just keeping his distance at first.

Couldn't help but soften at the sight of you with Cerberus. He's a sucker for dogs, so he lets his guard down, and relaxes while being with you.

This event got you two much closer, as expected, Cerberus like Cross very much! Cross gives Cerberus belly scratches. 🥺

After that, he's always offering himself whenever you need help babysitting Cerberus! He's actually really good, so you let him. ^^

Also doesn't mind that you work with Reaper. Just keeps his distance whenever you two are together.

Error:

Is amazed by the fact that you're the god of death.

Observes your work, behavior, anything! Very closely...

He literally becomes your fanboy. (Him and Dust literally talk about you all the time 💀)

His fanboyism isn't as big as Dust's though. He has his limits

Always showing off around you, to make you impressed. Showing off his powers, past, knowledge... Anything that can make you fall for him!

He's the first one to volunteer to help you out whenever you ask.

Scoffed when he found out you work with Reaper. Literally can't stand him, but also can't destroy him, just cause he's popular 🙄

Is so salty about the fact you hang out with Reaper the most 😂😂

Epic:

Doesn't treat you differently just cause you're a god. Treats you as equals :)

Definitely showed you so many memes about death when you first told him who you are. (He laughed his ass off during it 💀)

Laughed his ass off even more seeing Cross' reaction. Wouldn't stop teasing him after that. Like, you really just ran away bruh?? 😂😂

Enlightened you in the beauty of rubber chicken.

He also flirts with you occasionally, just cause he finds you cute.

He's also the only one that can make you flustered from his flirting, which fuels his ego.

Doesn't even acknowledge the fact that you're working with Reaper. The only thing that matters to him is you bruh. 😏

His pick up lines are actually really good, unlike Killer's 😂

Reaper:

THIS SKELETON IS IN LOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER AND THAT'S. ON. SIGHT!!

Your bond is very strong, cause you know each other for a very long time. It's going to be at least a million years now. 💀

You're not together, but he's oh so romantic and genuine that others would think you two are a thing.

Gives you roses every day, and you keep each and every one of them, safely put.

Loves the fact that he can touch you without killing you. Almost always having an arm around you. (Look, he's just touch starved! He can't touch anyone, so of course he has his needs! 😭)

Cerberus sees you two as basically his parents, his tail starts to wag every time you two are together.

Isn't jealous of anyone that flirts with you, cause he knows that at the end of the day...you go back to him.

The only skeleton that's bothering him is Dust, but that's cause he literally has heart eyes around you 😭😭

I don't write anyone identical to canon! I write everyone how I Hc them, just wanted to clarify this just in case.

Anyways, hope y'all liked this! Thanks for the request! :D

[kanmom51]

WHO JM

This is going to be a bit of a ramble of thoughts on my part. It took me around 24 hrs. to take it all in.

Before I start talking about everything, I do want to thank my good friends, you know who you are, with which we had these discussions and back and forth trying to figure it out. Said it once and will say it again: Love you guys!!!

And on that note, let's get to it.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around everything we got with Who, not to mention the whole Muse concept, the configuration of the album, the order of the songs.

Unlike Face this is less of a autobiographical album. This is more about a concept. We have the connecting thread from Face to Muse through Rebirth (Oh, I'm gonna talk about that song for sure). Then we go into Interlude: Showtime, leading into SGMB and then Slow dance, Be mine, Who and Closer than this in that order. Interlude showtime being the switch from personal (ME) to showtime/performance (US) perhaps. A show themed around love. And an interesting thing happens when you look at the placement of the songs. First of all, Who, the only song JM isn't credited for writing, is last. Then, and this to me is the interesting part of it, the songs go from SGMB having that love, being sure of it, wanting even to help others find it as the first song you hear all the way back to searching for that unattainable love (Who). Starting the story from the end, when love is found, rather than from the beginning when love is being searched for. Starting from the happy ending. And if you do want to link it to his own story (not sure it is, but for funsies) then it's basically going back chronologically. SGMB is the now JM, the happy one who found love, while Who is the JM who didn't even know what he was looking for, or more so Who he was looking for. And if we are already going in that direction than basically going full circle with Face in the sense of Face being in chronological order of things and Muse mirroring it in the sense of going present to past rather than past to present (yes, I definitley did not major in arts and it shows, lol).

Let's talk about Who now.

First thing first, once again, and thank you for that amazing post, I'm going to link to @andy-wm's post right here. Because basically it says most of what I wanted to convey, and as usual, written so so well.

You would think this is all about a guy looking for a girl, right?

NOT.

More so a guy looking for love, thinking that it's in a girl's image. "HER". @andy-wm explained it beautifully. I am going to emphasise a couple of points and/or add to them.

No. It's not just you. Although I do admit, it took me several reads and re-reads to have that eureka moment. When you take in the full picture. It's there.

JM is looking for someone. In his head he thinks it's meant to be a girl. That's what society has told him. That's what is expected of him. That's what makes sense to him. Again, in his head.

And yet, his heart, it's still searching.

And he continues to search but he isn't finding 'her'.

First the use of "think" again. The mind thinking versus the heart finding.

And pay attention to the lyrics: "If every day I think about her..."

Not "Every day I think about her..."

The way I see it, this is again about challenging society's expectations of him. If he's doing it right, if he's thinking about finding 'her' every day of his life, then why hasn't he found her? And the emphasis is on the question why, repeated multiple times.

He's asking why not how. And why do I think that means something?

Think about it for a second.

If he's looking for her every day, thinking about her all the time, wouldn't the question be "how is it that I haven't I found her?" But by asking "why haven't I found her", it feels more so like "am I doing something wrong here? Why isn't this working?" Perhaps because the Who he's looking for, the Who his heart is looking for, is not a "her"?

And this kind of disconnect between what his mind thinks he is looking for - "her", and what his heart is looking for "who", continues throughout the song.

Another thing I noticed, and I don't know if it means anything, is the repeat of the number five in the song.

That second one hit me the first time I heard the song. Why? Why count to five? So random. And yes, I know it could mean absolutely nothing, and yet, it is curious why we get these two fives.

So I went looking what the number five could mean, cause we know numbers do mean something to them.

On my search I found this:

And this is about this piece of art:

The name of that piece of that famous piece of art: "Sun, Moon and Five Peaks".

And this:

The sun and moon are incarnations of yin and yang and symbols of brightness. The five peaks represent the center of the Earth and correspond to the sky and the seat of the king, who is the Son of Heaven. The number five is significant, as it is the midpoint of the decimal system.

Another coincidence?

Then there is what the number 5 symbolises spiritually (not specific to Korean culture):

Was this on purpose? This is one of those things I really don't know. And yet...

But again, we have to remember that this is the only song on JM's album that he isn't credited for being part of the lyrics writing.

And yet, we know that he did sit with John Belian telling him what the story was he wanted him to tell.

We don't know just how much of it is JM and what he wanted to convey, at least with the lyrics. We don't know just how much say JM had in the direction the MV went in, but it does feel like at least some of these things we are seeing are not pure coincidence and are intentional, for example the next thing I want to talk about.

Let's talk about the falling billboard screen for a sec.

The timing of it falling, the WHO without the question mark, the why...

JM is singing, dancing, the storm is brewing, wind blowing, he sings about "her" and then asks: "who is my heart waiting for?"

The dancers split up, and he starts walking towards us and this falls from the sky:

"Who is my heart waiting for?"

It has a blue frame that breaks apart (perhaps symbolising how this love is framed differently or that the barrier that was there between them now broke - yes, pure drivel on my part, but let me have this, I'm really enjoying it, lol).

This is who, is what the screen is screaming out!!!

"keep going" it tells him, as he's walking in it's direction.

But the screen, it's facing us. We can see it, but he can't see it yet.

He is walking in it's direction but still oblivious to what it's showing him.

Another thing I noticed there is that the screen falls from the sky but doesn't collapse or break or topple over. It stands there, strong and stable. Just as strong and stable that love is. The Real love he talks about in Rebirth. And then we cut to the next scene. We don't see what happens when JM comes closer in. Does he see it? Does he see Who?

Thank you @theendiswherewestarted  for sending me the next couple of links I want to address.

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This one I noticed myself - the colours of that fire stood out to me, seeing as they were different from other fires on screen.

The Yellow purple that we also got in the poster question mark.

The way the signs are basically around him (the fire, the screen), but he passed them by unnoticed, perhaps because of how he perceives his love is meant to look like. It's a she, not a he, and even if it is on fire or on a neon sign, something he should be noticing, he just doesn't.

The second is this:

I have seen some that noticed this and I admit, it took me a very long time to see the face (some saw a face in smoke in the teaser as well), but I have to admit, it does look like a face. Could it be JK? Idk. Is this intentional? Well, it doesn't look like the actual smoke, it does look like a projection or add-on, so... I guess this one I'm going to leave as a question mark. A possibility.

But this one, I'm feeling the need to go back to this one because this is just WOW...

I am aware there are those that claim it to be another member. All I will say that they are wrong.

Also want to thank @lastride1981 for your ask.

And then the MV ends with this:

You know, if we didn't get the message just yet (which I can assure you many didn't), then let's end it with rainbows. Yes, that is who your heart is waiting for!!!

Nothing JM does is not thought about, is not intentional.

And that rainbow at the end is again one more of those things!!

As I said, not everything is intentional. But a. saying not everything is intentional inherently means some of it is. and b. this is JM we are talking of. The master of layering his art.

This is art. Intended for us to ponder about. It's up for interpretation. Even a song with rather simple lyrics like Who, especially with a MV attached to it and JM being the artist behind the two.

So this here is how I see it. My interpretations. Sharing them with you.

[directdogman]

Dogman, how do you write SO WELL!?!? I love all your characters and I need to know what/where you find inspo from...

Ha. Every writer is just someone who apes the creative processes of their inspirations. For video game writing specifically, there's two answers for me.

Toby Fox is always gonna be a huge inspiration for me. I've written plots and characters before and had to abandon ideas after realizing I'd accidentally written part of UT again. Even some of the ideas I used were undeniably inspired by UT in a subconscious way and ofc, I included several explicit references to UT in my last series. Toby's a very clever guy who likely pays very close attention to the art he consumes and tries to figure out how to maximize how much his work connects with his audience. Whatever his process is, it works.

The other answer is a lil funnier: Scott Cawthon, but specifically the legend, not the man. For context: Back in the earlier days of the FNaF fandom, people had a hyper-inflated view of Scott Cawthon's writing skills that largely came from how little of a presence he had back in those days. In the vacuum of Scott actually explaining his own process in detail, people got caught up in his genuinely creative way of hiding exposition in his games using cryptid and (then) unexpected methods, and a narrative formed (one that he's since refuted.)

While he never implied it tmk, fans broadly believed that he constructed these sweeping and complex narratives with tons of cohesive moving parts, with the games essentially acting like the mere tip of his lore iceberg. People even thought he wrote so much that he had whole games worth of lore outlined from the beginning! In the first Dawko interview he gave, he clarified that this wasn't the case and explained roughly what his process was (basically just outlining rough theme ideas + aesthetics for future titles.)

However, that legend made younger-me's mind run wild and any time I wrote a story, it became very difficult for me to not keep writing down ideas while completing the grunt work that followed me finishing my scripts. When I finished DSaF 1, I already had DSaF 2's draft written and by the time 2 was done, I had enough lore for a 3rd game on paper (and a lot more stuff that I didn't use.) By the time three was out, I had pages upon pages of unused concepts/story ideas and more or less just had to decide to call it quits or else I'd be pumping out entries forever!

That's why if you go back to those older games, there's references that directly refer to future plot-points in pretty casual/easy to miss ways. (Like Henry's mention in DSaF 1, Dave being heartless in DSaF 2, Jack being soulless in 1, and even Blackjack being Jack's soul in 2. Most of 3's major plotpoints are implied somewhere in 2 and some of 2's in 1.)

DT is much the same. By the time I finished writing it, I had fairly detailed drafts for arcs for each of the characters, some early material ended up getting completely recontextualized (and even modified in small ways to not conflict with the wider ideas I came up with.)

I get really into writing my stories/characters and I always wonder exactly how things ended up where they are, what characters think about but don't say, etc etc. This is why I have an obscene amount of Crown lore that I have very little to do with rn (since he impacted the whole world so deeply.)

This extra stuff also includes plenty of sequel material ideas, though I didn't think I'd even get a chance to use them since DT performed pretty meagerly before the big release and I was expecting to have to move onto something new. Though it turned out that Scott didn't actually write his games this way (by his own admission), it's the correct answer for what my core writing inspiration for writing game narratives is.

Hope this helps!

[yourloveaton]

Hi! I saw all your AU art just recently and noticed you were saying we can ask you about it! (ITS SUCH AWESOME ART BTW I ADORE IT THE WAY YOU DRAW THEM IS AKAKAKKDMSMAMD!!!!)

I don’t have a specific question, but I do want to know more about it.

So can you just tell me anything about it?

Ahhh THANK YOU SO MUCH !!! I’m so happy that you liked my au art and wanna know more about it !! You have no idea how much joy that makes me feel 🥹💖

Well I can tell you some info and facts about the au, how I’m planning to develop it and all that !! It’s still fairly new and I did it out of nowhere at 3 am in the morning because I thought of my old ideas that I had years ago when undertale was on it’s prime but I was too young to bring ideas to life properly HAHAHA I hope my writing doesn’t bore you!

The au is pretty much founded on the idea of what if Sans also used to be a royal guard when he was younger? Boom. That’s where it spiralled and now I don’t know how revert back to who I was before because I ended up doodling a lot of undertale stuff along with the au, it didn’t help with the fact that my very good beloved friend kept encouraging me and feeding my inner demons of my undertale brainrot HAHAHA

I’m planning to develop the au into 2 parts: Before Undertale and after Undertale.

Before undertale is basically the events that happened before the plot of Undertale took place while after undertale is when they’re finally on the surface and the events that will happen on there! Sounds very generic and common I know, that’s why I’m going to try and develop it to be a bit different and hope that the au is not boring or developed horribly :’D It will take some time though since I know developing an au with a unique plot is gonna be very challenging, there are so many ways to mess it up and aghhh I really don’t wanna mess it up TT

Here are the main cast of the before undertale, this is a very OLD sketch that I made to figure out who’s there and how old they would be before I proceed to develop on the characters. So their heights might not be as accurate as it is in the sketch.

Also DISCLAIMER, Alphys and Undyne never met in before Undertale, so just know there’s no weird agenda going on here! They first met during Undertale plot when they’re both adults (Alphys 29, Undyne 23) so it’s all good!! I thought I needed to point that out because the age gap might seem alarming at first glance knowing they’re officially a couple 🙏 The before undertale plot begins at the age displayed on the sketch, and it ends after uhh.. 10 years? Yeah it’s ten years of events before the main undertale story starts!

I do want to portray the skele family with wholesome moments and you know, how great they are! Well that is before the downfall but we ain’t talking about that for now !! They’re just so beloved to me and I know they were such a sweet family AND WOULD HAVE VERY FUNNY MOMENTS IN WHICH I WANNA DRAW IT OUT!! So yeah, stay tuned for silly mini comics of them eheh

At first, I wanted Trickster (yes I’m calling his royal guard nickname, it’s like a whole different persona of his (alter ego???) where he’s energetic and acts very silly, whimsical, presenting puzzles and quizzes to his opponents sometimes but also can be very intimidating and prove that yeah, there’s a reason why he can be like that cuz it’s HIM) to be nothing more than a mischievous silly royal guard that wanted to keep causing trouble for Gaster but then it grew to be a bigger thing where he unintentionally became the symbol of hope and an entertainer for the whole underground before Trickster disappeared without a trace(?)

I’m still working on this whole concept so not everything is settled yet!! Well what I can also say about Trickster is that Alphys might be involved with the whole Trickster business too eheh

I’ve been practicing on drawing the characters so that I can draw better for this little au project of mine, I hope I can share my progress with you guys as things go on !!!

That’s the general stuff I’ve thought of so far, I hope you enjoy reading ! Thank you for reading and do feel free to ask whenever you have questions about the au or anything else :D✨✨✨✨

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

Cliché as it sounds, I really like the idea of a High-school au Adamsapple Omegaverse.

Basically, my idea would have Adam being, at first, this innocent boy who trusted Lilith, his best friend, with everything in his life. She knew all his secrets from his abusive household with his relatives (Sera is his Aunt and Emily is his cousin) to the massive bullying that he's enduring at school for being a Beta and unable to scent the world around him like everyone else.

Betas are one of the rare ones. A class made for those who never present. You're seen as defective and broken by society whereas Alphas and Omegas were seen to be the cream of the crop. Betas were meant to serve the superior gene pool.

Lilith is his everything. Sure, she's an Omega and he's a Beta (there friendship is frowned upon) but he still desired Lilith's friendship and companionship. Until she convinces him to come to some house party. Adam is nervous and doesn't really want to go, but his friend is practically begging him. He agrees rather reluctantly.

Adam, unfortunately, isn't taught the etiquette of how to be safe at a house party run by rowdy seventeen-year-olds. Plus, he's a 6'4 boy. No one thought they needed to. He's pressured to drink something Lilith gave him and suddenly everything is blurry.

He's taken to a room where...well, Lilith had a deal with a guy named Steve. She needed to pass her class in Biology. He wanted to get laid. She agreed to bring Adam over to a party, drug him, and let the football team go to town on him. Besides, he was a Beta. Who would care?

While the drugs made him a bit more compliant, Adam still fought to not let them have their way with him but it was a losing battle. He called for Lilith to call someone, the police, when he spotted her in the corner and she simply smiled. "Adam...you need to know your place among society. Betas are meant to serve Alphas and Omegas in this world." She walked to the door as Steve and his friends surrounded the rapidly crying Adam.

At the end of the night, Adam dragged himself home. He of course is yelled at by his Alpha aunt but he lies through his teeth about the whole situation. He hoped, despite him hating every minute of his existence after that moment, that he could just forget about that night.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the end. Lilith didn't pass her Biology class and to help her gain sympathy points and more people on her side, she started spreading that Adam raped her at the party which was why she failed. She was dealing with trauma.

While there was no proof, so they couldn't arrest Adam, everyone sided with Lilith and made his life Hell for something he didn't do. Adam didn't even finish his 11th year and dropped out to homeschool for the rest of that year because of how bad the bullying got.

His Aunt finally had enough of his "dramatics" and told him that she'd send him to another school if he would finish his last year there. Adam didn't have a choice so he's sent to a new school.

Adam's changed everything about him at this point. Sure he's a Beta, but no one even dares to look in his direction anymore because of his attitude, clothes, and overall appearance. Your basic rebel boy. He didn't care that Liltih was somehow going to his school and dating a wealthy Alpha named Lucifer. He didn't care that people whispered behind his back about what he supposedly did.

No one could hurt him like this if he looked and acted like this. The Au would start with Adam and Lucifer being paired as lab partners for the year.

Alpha/Beta relationship.

OMG my poor baby 🥺

This is a great concept thank you!

@fanofstuff01