#so this is VERY self indulgent I'll admit it
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Thinking about a yandere with a depressed darling.
A yandere who's patient with you no matter how bad it gets. On easier days, when it's just the lingering inexplicable sadness that has you staring off into space every now and then between conversations, he's quick to jump to another topic to distract your mind. When he sees your gaze lower and your brows pinch in thought, he makes your favorite meal under the guise of having been craving it himself. When you're both sitting on the couch and he sees your leg bounce, your fingers trembling against your thighs - he feigns tiredness and leans against you to 'absentmindedly' take your hand in his.
A yandere that on harder days, ones where you can't even muster up the energy to get up from your shared bed, stays there with you for hours on end. Arms wrapped around your waist and his face buried in your hair. If you're lying down, he'll let you rest against his chest and listen to the sound of his heartbeat - the soft sound lulling you into a state of calm. If you're sitting up, he'll keep his arms around you and gently rock the both of you back and forth, keeping his weight pressed against you to keep you grounded. You enjoy silence? No problem, he finds the quiet peaceful too. You need background noise to distract yourself from your thoughts? He's going on and on about anything and everything he can think of.
He tries his best to only leave your side for absolute necessities at the start of these periods. He knows that taking care of you when you're down makes you feel guilty, so he never makes it seem like he's only doing something just for you (even if he knows he is).
He's feeling pretty hungry. No worries though, he'll just go ahead and order some food from that restaurant you both (read: you) like. No, you don't have to get up from the bed to get it from the door, he needed to use the bathroom anyway so he'll just grab it on his way back!
(He was never really hungry. Hell, he could survive off of the smell of you alone if he could. But he'd be damned if you didn't get at least one full meal in today.)
A yandere that never judges you for your lack of motivation to take care of yourself sometimes. You don't feel like you can take a shower today? That's perfectly fine, a missed shower or two never hurt anyone! You felt too drained to brush your teeth before you went to sleep? That's alright, he's feeling pretty tired too so you're both in the same boat! Even if you're someone who prefers to eat in bed because you don't have the energy to eat at the dining table, he doesn't mind one bit. Crumbs aren't an issue for him, and having to wash the sheets is only a small sacrifice to make sure you're comfortable. Hell, if you didn't feel so iffy about it he'd even feed you if you asked.
A yandere that never in his wildest dreams would ever shame you for something you can't control. But, he does care about your health, of course, so he wouldn't allow you to skip too many days of hygiene without stepping in. One of his favorite things to do with you is shared self-care. If you don't take a shower that day, you can both just take one together the following day. He takes great care in washing you off, lathering your hair in your favorite scented shampoo and conditioner before turning around and letting you do the same to him. If you don't feel like brushing your teeth or washing your face that night, that's perfectly fine, he's already setting up a playlist for you two to dance to in front of the mirror when you both get it done tomorrow instead.
A yandere that, although he makes sure you're comfortable during your more difficult days, still wants to help you gradually recover. If your lack of motivation and tiredness spans over a few days or more, he'll slowly but surely coax you out of bed. First it starts out small, like using the restroom or grabbing something from the other side of the room. And then it moves on to leaving the room entirely, getting you to stay outside for longer and longer intervals until the emptiness is finally pushed to the back of your mind once again - dormant until the next time it rears its ugly head. But that's okay. Progress is slow, and it's far from perfect. And he'll tell you just how proud he is that you've taken a step further, no matter how small it may seem.
A yandere that doesn't consider you a burden for the way you feel. Who doesn't ask what caused your mood, even if the shift was sudden. Who doesn't judge you when you fall back into old habits (now, with larger intervals in between) - your hair getting tangled, your skin oily and your clothes stained. Because no matter what he'll be there with you every step of the way, and he'll happily help you up again and again.
#I know this isn't as dark as I could've made it but I wrote like half of it during one of my Bad Times and all I really wanted was comfort#so this is VERY self indulgent I'll admit it#i want to imagine a man who doesn't care if i skip showering for a day or two#or eat snacks in bed because it's comfortable#crazy that my first post here is an indulgent vent (kind of??) post#I was originally gonna make it where the yandere feeds into the depression to keep you into bed#so you never feel motivated to leave and stay there with him instead#but next time...#x male reader#x gn reader#x reader#yandere x reader#yandere x male reader#yandere x gn reader#fluff#I think???#unedited#so sorry if this has errors i haven't slept at all this is so embarrassing
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Everything falls into place so nicely when they’re together (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#Helix#ZEX#Do I still not have a Caleb tag?? Rude of me#The Captain#DAX#Max Vyer#Dexter Favin#Random sillies again ♪ They just appear so often!#I can't help myself with my faves - double bonus on that first one! Flipped up shirt /and/ stretchies gah all the cutes#Max is described as having ''strangely defined hips'' hehe <3 Curvy! Of course ♫#Cutest lad <3 Which speaking of cute lads!! Caleb!!!#Still using that 2019 chibi style - everyone deserves a turn! It's super cute!#Man he really is adorable hwah poor dear deserves a break haha#ZEX nad DAX hearties of course <3 DAX is So unromantic who could he ever possibly have a crush on haha how absurd to consider#ZEX pls#He's too busy going after everyone else! DAX is right there!!#Gah I'm so excited for them to kiss at some point it Has to happen right <3 <3#Lol okay so the costumes - I was thinking about zodiac personality stereotypes and then#It's not Just self-indulgent that I see Dexter as being a Scorpio okay! (It is) It just makes sense!! And Max as a Leo look like I just said#If it fits then it just fits! What can I do about it! Lol#What's funny is that canonically Max is a Capricorn haha - he totally has that Leo trait of wanting to be the center of attention tho!#Capricorns are like - stubborn and industrious? Mmmmh yeah okay lol#I'm not at all biased by knowing some Leos irl and Zero (0) Capricorns to my knowledge lol#Dexter feels obvious lol do I need to explain - secretive possessive loyal etc. etc. It's not just me being biased! (It is!) Lol#It is very fun to me to think about Writer Bias haha ♪ Max's POV written Such a way hehe <3 I always love that kind of thing!#And y'know - DAX writer bias lol okay I'll admit to that one lol#And rounding out with the trio <3 Who is leaving such a negative impression on them! Fun to draw them in a line :D
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How's the canon fic going?
It's going good! I've got a squee read through who liked it and said it was very true to character which was a huge relief. Right now I have my hawk eyes on it so theu can catch my terrible grammar 🥴. Sorry for the wait but hopefully you'll think it's worth it 🤞
#anon#in secret au#i like it so 🤷♀️#it's self indulgent I'll admit but oh welllll#the fact that at least one reliable person said they felt it was very in character was a relief 😅
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Bumper to Bumper - A.H
a/n: this is so self-indulgent i am probably the worst fucking parker you've ever seen it's wild & i also just watched a vid of mgg parking someone's car and went feral so there's that
‧₊˚ ✩°。⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆。°✩˚₊‧
pairings: aaron hotchner x reader (i don't think there is any use of pronouns just nicknames like honey)
warnings: none? rough day, reader is beefing with parking, tooth-rotting fluff
wc: 800
"Hotchner," came his voice, rough like sandpaper across the line, as you fought back the swell of tears, your lower lip caught in the anxious trap of your teeth.
Your eyes fixed on the parking spot before you, the very sight of it forming a lump in your throat as your frustration mounted. The morning had unfolded like a series of unfortunate events--your coffee machine had sputtered its last, your favorite book left forgotten on the porch to be ruined by the rain, and now, this parking spot seemed to mock you, its yellow lines almost pulsating with contempt.
Your hand glided across your dampened cheek, exhaling a shaky breath as you juggled the phone between your ear and shoulder. "You know, I don't think I've said this enough, but you're an exceptional boss. Honestly, you're—"
You sensed the sigh in his breath before he spoke. "What do you need?"
"I know I'm late," you managed to get out, a small hiccup halting your sentence as you did everything in your power to avoid crying, but the waver in your voice gave you away. "But I have a good reason--"
Once more, he stopped you mid-sentence, as he often did. "Where are you? Is everything okay?"
"I'm fine, it's silly."
"If something's wrong, I want to hear it. What's happening?"
"I just... I can't seem to park my car," you choke out, cheeks aflame with mortification. "I've been trying and failing, over and over, it's embarrassing. The spot's too tight, and of course, it's the only one left because 'M late."
"Hold on, I'll be right there," he said, and the line went dead.
You were left staring at your phone, a fresh wave of embarrassment washing over you. You cringed, feeling smaller with each passing second, knowing he was swamped with work and here you were, unable to perform the simplest task of parking a car.
The moment you saw him step out of the building, your racing heart began to slow, his presence alone easing the knot of anxiety in your chest. He approached and opened the driver's door, and you were suddenly spilling over with apologies, the traces of tears still evident on your cheeks.
He looked at you with a gentleness that melted away the last of your defenses, reassuring you with a simple. "It's okay. I got it."
He took your place behind the wheel and parked the car with ease. As you stood there, you realized how his unwavering steadiness had become a pillar you leaned on more often than you'd like to admit.
As he stepped out of the car, you approached, your voice barely above a whisper, "Thank you, and I'm sorry. I know it's such a small thing..."
He gave a slight sigh, one that seemed to brush away your concerns, a hint of a smile in his eyes and said, "There's nothing to apologize for. Don't be so hard on yourself," he reminded you gently, his hand coming to rest on the soft of your shoulder.
A silent nod was all you could muster as you lifted your gaze to meet his. Your eyes were still red-rimmed from crying, and your nose, slightly pink from the number of tissues you had abused this morning. In a soft plea, you murmured, "Can I have a hug?"
Without a word, he simple open his arms, an unspoken invitation that you immediately accepted. As you nestled into his arms, your body relaxing as you inhaled his familiar scent. A soft sniffle escaped you as Hotch quietly said, "Five senses..."
You closed your eyes and focused on the sensory details--the comforting touch, his reassuring voice, the sight of his concerned gaze when you opened your eyes, the taste of the air mingled with his cologne, and the grounding scent of him. As your breathing evened out, he gently placed his hand on the pulse point at your neck, counting your heart rate in his mind.
You stepped back, a sheepish grin spreading across your face. "I suppose driving school is next on my training agenda?"
Hotch's expression softened into a subtle smile. "I'd agree, considering I just got you that car, I'd prefer it if you got the chance to enjoy it first before crashing it," he teased back lightly. "You sure you're okay?" he asked, his eyes searching yours.
"Promise."
Hotch glanced at his watch, a decision forming in his eyes. "I think I can free up some time later. How about we get you another copy of your book?"
As your smile broke through the clouds of your frustration, it was as if the sun had pierced through the overcast sky of his day, bathing him in a light he never wanted to leave. "Really?" you responded, practically glowing with delight.
Hotch's heart swelled at the sight, feeling lighter than he had in ages. Gently, he cupped your face, drawing you closer to plant a tender kiss on your forehead. "I love you, honey," he said, his voice a low rumble.
You giggled, a little surprised by the public display of affection, you blushed, responding with a shy, "Love you too."
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner fluff#aaron hotchner#criminal minds fluff#criminal minds fic#aaron hotchner fic#hotch#hotchner#criminal mind x reader#criminal minds#thomas gibson#thomas gibson x reader#Spotify
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Secret Messages from a Lover
summary: While you're streaming, your boyfriend sends you a message.
pairing: Corpse Husband x Gender Neutral Reader (no pronouns are used.)
word count: 670
warnings: none.
a/n: i really just needed to write something so self-indulgent because god i want this so bad. i figured others want it too. i've been so depressed lately that I just need a little fantasy, you know? my requests are open, and you can find my request rules here.
“God, that video is so fucking funny,” you say, pulling your blanket around your shoulders tighter with one hand while the other brings your patterned tumbler with the sparkly straw up to your mouth, so you can drink your water. Your knees pull further up to your chest, which is easily done in your very spacious gaming chair. “OTV never fucking misses.”
You press a button on your stream deck, switching from the video you were just watching to your face, with chat scrolling in the top left-hand corner. You take another sip from your tumbler and pick out one of the comments passing by, scrolling to stop it from moving as you read it aloud.
“Were you on the newest Fear& episode? I was. QT, Hasan, Will, and I just kinda chatted for a bit. That was a good fucking episode, though,” you say with a grin. “Love those guys. QT especially, she’s fucking hilarious. She makes me laugh so fucking hard whenever I talk to her, even if we disagree on Taylor Swift.”
You keep scrolling back down, so you can keep seeing the comments when another one jumps out at you. “Are you gonna keep streaming? Yeah, chatter, I actually just started before that OTV video. I think Toast is gonna invite me to some Pico Park today? If not, I’ll just play some Valorant or something to pass the time. I gotta git good if I wanna beat, well, anyone,” you admit with a laugh, hiding your shame by taking another drink of water.
You see your phone light up in front of you. It’s a Discord notification, which you quickly check on your second monitor, assuming it’s Toast inviting you to the Discord call.
It’s not. It’s your boyfriend, Corpse.
“You look so cute today babe. You look so cosy wrapped up in your blanket and your smile is so bright. I'll never get tired of seeing it. I love you and have a good stream 🖤”
You feel your cheeks heat up at that, and you take a sip of your water to try and hide your reaction. You haven’t told anyone you're dating Corpse yet, and you have no plans on it any time soon, but he makes you so happy you find it hard not to blurt it out whenever you can.
You send back a bunch of yellow hearts and an “I love you too!!!!!!! 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛”, biting your lip as you type on your very satisfying, clack-y keyboard.
That’s when you get the notification from Toast to join the shared call.
“Ah! Toast’s calling!” you exclaim for the benefit of your audience.
You quickly join the call, the connection sound filling you comfortable, over the ear headphones.
“Hey! What’s up!” you say into the call, getting a couple of “Hey!”’s and “Hello!”’s back.
Then you hear a familiar voice say, “What’s up.”
“Corpse!” You’re grinning at this point as you continue, “I didn't know you were gonna be playing!”
“Uh, yeah. Toast invited me last minute. Surprise?” he says like it’s a bad thing.
“We haven’t played anything together in a while and I saw him online and thought, ‘Fuck it,’ yaknow?” Toast asks and you chuckle.
“Well, it’s good to talk to you again, Corpse,” you say, setting your tumbler down on your desk. He got you that tumbler for your birthday not long ago, and it’s your favourite thing you own. He also got you the blanket that’s wrapped around your shoulders for your six-month anniversary, and it’s the warmest blanket in your house. You always wear it when you stream because the A/C is always blasting.
“It’s good to talk to you too,” you say, shivering as your heart hammers at his words.
You begin loading up Pico Park, just listening to everyone talk to each other, when you get another notification on Discord.
“I love you 🖤” it says.
“I love you too 💛” you reply, smiling into the camera for just a moment, just for him.
#corpse husband#corpse#corpse husband x reader#corpse husband x y/n#corpse husband x you#corpse x reader#corpse x you#corpse x y/n#corpse husband x gender neutral reader#corpse husband x gender neutral!reader#corpse x gender neutral reader#corpse x gender neutral!reader
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i love how you write all your readers being employed misses! maybe Franco surprising his girlfriend at work when he knows she's really overwhelmed with a lot of work
Note: this is very self indulgent after the week I just had
"I'll see you tonight, handsome - I'm not sure when I'll get back, but hopefully in time for us to make something for dinner" was the last thing Franco heard from you when he got back from his workout, seeing you put on your work backpack, carrying another big file and a totebag full of toys and activities.
The routine was back and this was one of the busiest times of the year for you, so while he understood the demands of your job, he also knew how quickly it could get too much and how it took you even longer to admit that you were overwhelmed.
Getting ready to go out, your boyfriend showered and left the apartment, a to-do list in his notes app that he wanted to complete before lunch time. The market was open today, so he stopped at the different spots he needed to get everything he wanted, packing them into his car and driving to your workplace.
You were updating the patient files, detailing what happened in the sessions when you noticed your lunchtime approaching, hastening your writing as you were hoping yo have the full break before going back for a full afternoon.
"Hello, good morning!", you recognised the all too familiar accent down the hall, "Is Y/N still in her office?".
As you heard the receptionist say yes, you walked to meet them at the front, shaking your head in disbelief as you watched your boyfriend stand there, big smile on his face as soon as he spotted you, "Hi, mi amor".
"Hello, Fran", you smiled back, "what brings you here? We're closed for new bookings, I'm afraid".
"It's a good thing then, because I came here to whisk you away for lunch - at what time do you have your next appointment?", he asked.
Before you could answer, the repeceptionist was quick to speak, "three o'clock!", getting a playful side eye from you, "Y/N, it's called a lunch break because you shouldn't do any work during that time! Go and enjoy it, please!".
Accepting it and realising you needed a break, you went back to your office to make sure everything was tidy and organised before being escorted out, bidding the receptionist goodbye as she, too, was going home for her break.
"Thank you for taking me out of there", you began as you let Franco guide you along the sidewalk, "it was getting a bit too much and I could feel myself start to flip out".
"I noticed these past couple of days you have come home very tired, and you're trying to put on a big, brave face and you don't need to. In there", he pointed in the direction of your workplace, "I get it that you have to seem fine but at home, with me, you can be vulnerable and feel everything else, okay?", he offered.
The love you felt for him grew even bigger in that moment as you stopped for a moment, kissing his lips and hugging his waist so you could continue on your way, "thank you, I love you so much", you mumbled.
"We're getting the food from the car, because there is a very nice park around here and I want us to enjoy your break outside with fresh food!", he smiled, taking out a bag and lacing your hand back in his.
You found a table that was vacant and spread out all of the fresh food Franco brought, "the lady at the market said it was fresh baked this morning, and I know you love bread and olives", he said non chalantly as you exaggerated a moan at how good the food was.
Franco sat next to you and you quickly cuddled up to him, enjoying the feeling of comfort he was providing you. This was your space to be yourself, insecurities, vulnerabilities and all.
"This was a good idea, no?", Franco asked, pecking the side of your head.
"Yes, thank you so much, love", you smiled, snuggling closer to him, "I needed to get away from that desk".
"You can always count on me to do that, amor, always", he squeezed you against his body.
(Thank you for sending this in ✨️)
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Mattheo Riddle - Gamer BF Headcanons
minors dni | smut implied at the end | F! reader implied modern au | this is so self-indulgent im sorry
-Mattheo gets very into online gaming with his friends, often being the loud and rowdy one who cracks dirty jokes on voice chat. -he isn't very good at multiplayer, though, but will never admit it. 'Definitely a glitch. those kills are way off. No way Enzo got more than me; he didn't do shit! This game has it out for me, I swear.' -he enjoys single-player games as well as a pastime. -loves horror games, zombie horror, to be precise (self-indulgent HC: he's a resident evil fan). -In a relationship, Mattheo encourages you to play games. He is your biggest cheerleader when he watches you play. 'You've got this, darling.' -He would be willing to play a cozy game with you, but somehow, it always devolves into chaos. You will probably quit inviting him for the sake of your Stardew Valley saves. -He often takes over when you game together, but more because he just likes to play for the two of you and not because he thinks you're bad! -Mattheo used to have a worse temper during gaming, but one stern look from you, the one and only time you witnessed him throw his controller, was enough to make him never do it again. -His happiest moments involve taking control when a horror game gets too spooky for you, allowing you to rest on him while he takes charge—a win-win situation. 'Don't worry, love. I'll protect you, just relax.' -He adores it when you nestle in and nap between his legs while he games. His tender side really comes out then, playing with your hair and whispering sweet nothings in your ear between games and loading screens. -Thoroughly enjoys your attempts to trash-talk him, which usually turns into cheeky flirtations and most likely a quickie. -Mattheo is very fun to tease while gaming. Put your hands on him, and he'll have to insist to his friends that he was moaning over Theo's voice and not your hand on his- -Will not hesitate to mute his mic and fuck your face while he stays online. His large hand grips your hair into a ponytail as he roughly pumps your mouth with his cock, grunting and panting. 'fucking take my cock, you little slut; this is what you fucking asked for by playing with daddy like that.' -And if he doesn't take that route, be warned that if you tease him while he's playing, you better count on not being able to walk the next day.
#mattheo riddle#mattheo riddle ai#mattheo riddle au#mattheo riddle headcanon#mattheo riddle headcanons#slytherin#slytherin boys#theo nott
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light rain | ft. sakura
tags. fluff , sakura haruka x gn! reader, maybe ooc 'kura?
at the early stages of your relationship, sakura never knew that you get sick very easily and he found this out when you were going on a light stroll.
sakura was on break from patrolling when he saw you shopping for some things at a store, since he was on break, he offered to walk you home and you happily accepted.
while he was walking you from, it started to rain a little bit. you knew that you'd get sick even at the tiniest bit of rain, so you told him to hurry up.
once you arrive to your apartment, you were both a bit wet from the rain. so before he left, you offer him your umbrella. he declined at first saying he doesn't need it but you insisted, you explained that you didn't want your boyfriend to be sick. he turns red at the nickname, he accepts your umbrella with a blushing face.
it was now the next day, sakura thought it was weird that you didn't go to school today, you didn't even tell him why. he got a little sad that you didn't tell him but he's never admit that. he's getting worried so he decided to call you.
his phone rings and you immediately pick up.
“hey, you okay?” he says on the phone, he was expecting you to respond but got confused when he heard coughing and sniffling instead,
“are you sick?!” he yells with a worried tone, surprising his friends beside him.
you sniffle, “yeah .. the light rain caught to me yesterday ...” you chuckle, cringing at the sound of your hoarse voice.
“okay, i'll be right there.” sakura replied, suddenly ending the call.
“huh- what?” you were left shocked, looking at your phone. did you hear him correctly? he's coming over to your place?!
sakura rushed out pothos café, explaining to his friends — just as shocked as you were — that he had something to do before running out.
in just 5 minutes, your door bell rang. you hurriedly open the door to find sakura in front of your door, panting while holding a small bag.
“you actually cough came .. ” you were also out of breath, you sheepishly smile at him.
“wha- what are you doing out of bed, dumbass!?” he pulls in you to your apartment, closing the door behind him. his grip on your wrist is firm — but gentle.
he sits you on your bed, “stay here. i-i'll take care of you, okay?” his hands on your shoulders were trembly and he looks nervous, this is his first time taking care of someone and being inside your apartment, of course he was nervous.
he walks out your room and you here some clattering in your kitchen, you wanted to get up but you don't want to disobey your already stressed boyfriend.
you didn't want him to see you all vulnerable like this but you were glad that he came just to take care of you, seeing him all worried about you made your heart melt and also made you feel a bit better.
sakura comes back with a bowl of soup, water and some medicines. he tells you to eat, explaining that kotoha gave it to him before he ran out of the café.
“give kotoha my thanks then. ” your voice sounds weak and softer than usual.
sakura doesn't like seeing you being weak like this, it makes him want to protect you like your some kind of hurt cat.
sakura meant it when he said he'll take care of you since he went home at 6 am, never leaving your side. it was the next day and still early but he had classes and patrolling so you offered him to go now, after a lot of reassuring him that you're better now, he leaves.
sakura never carries any umbrellas with him, his body is used to getting drenched in rain anyways. but this changed when he saw how sick you were that day, so now, he always carries an umbrella so that in case you forget yours — which you often do — and it looks like it's going to rain, he'll give it to you.
he might not say that he loves you by his words, but his actions say otherwise.
n. this is self indulgent. i get sick very easily so i thought about sakura being worried about his sickly lover <3
t. @kyoghurts hi :3
#wind breaker#wind breaker fluff#wind breaker x reader#haruka sakura#sakura haruka#sakura x reader#sakura haruka x reader#🐈⬛ unorambles
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i might just love you 'til the end - joshua hong imagine
i admit this is very self indulgent, it's my bday and i wanted to write this so here we are🥺🥺😅
for my other svt fics, check them here
if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛
All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.
(pics not mine, credits to rightful owner)
A cold bed is not something you expected you'd wake up to on the morning of your birthday. Usually you'd wake up with your boyfriend's arms wrapped around you like your own personal weighted blanket but that wasn't the case today thus prompting you to get up and go look around the house for the said missing boyfriend.
Thinking he might've went to the gym so you didn't expect to see him until later but then you hear some noises coming from the kitchen and some music playing.
Making your way downstairs and to the kitchen, you see Joshua standing with his back to you while holding a spatula in one hand. Too lost in his own world, humming along the tune of Sunday Morning playing in the background.
You smile as you walk towards him, catching him off guard when he suddenly feel a pair of arms hug him from behind.
"Hey, you. You're up early" he says, looking around to catch a glimpse of you
You cuddle against his back, seeking the warmth you missed this morning. He lets you be, knowing how clingy you get when you're sleepy. He doesn't mind it one bit when you sleep on him or fall alseep when you're with him. To him it's an honor, knowing you feel safe around him to fall asleep quickly after you told him you used to struggle with that before meeting him.
Feeling content with the quiet surrounding, he gently sways back and forth as he finishes the stack of pancakes with you still clinging to him.
"You weren't there so I woke up" you mumbled after a while, earning a chuckle from him
"Sorry, I wanted to make us breakfast. I was going to take it up to you but since you're already here, let me set up the table after I finish with the pancakes"
"I'll do it, you finish here" you tell him, giving him a final squeeze before separating from him. Before you can walk away, he grabs you by the arm making you crash back into his awaiting arms
He looks down at you with a smile, eyes locking with your eyes "Happy birthday, my darling"
You grin at him, standing on your tiptoes to kiss him on the lips "Thank you, baby"
"Oh and I got you flowers, that's not my main gift I'll give that later but I hope you like them" he says as he grab the bouquet from the table to pass it to you
"Josh, these are so pretty" you coo at him, "Thank, baby. Really. You don't have to get me anything but I appreciate all the effort, you really do know how to make this day extra special"
"How can I not when my most favorite person is born today. I'm just so happy to be celebrating this day with you"
You put the flowers down to give him another hug, Joshua does the same. Wrapping his arms around you, lifting you off the ground. He can hear your giggles, the sound making all the butterflies erupt in his stomach. He really truly is deeply in love with you.
"You're my favorite person too. I'm so thankful for you" you tell him
He gives your cheeks and your nose kisses before kissing you on the lips, smiling as he takes your breath away like he always does whenever he kisses you.
"Tell me what you want, name it. Anything"
"Really? Anything?"
"Mhm, what do you have in mind?" he asks, noticing the cheeky look in your eyes
"If I say I want to celebrate all of my birthdays like this, us in our kitchen cooking breakfast"
He looks at you, your future together already unfolding in his mind. Of course there's no one else he can imagine spending the rest of his life with but you.
He leans down, capturing your lips once again before answering you
"Consider it done, I'm yours forever my darling"
You smile hearing him say the word forever. For him, you'd believe it actually exists. You'd use all your birthday wishes just to make sure you're going to stay right where you are right now.
"Get ready for a whole day of romantic gestures and all out cheesiness because I'm only getting started" he jokes, putting you down before getting back to cooking
"Wouldn't celebrate this day any other way"
#fic#fanfic#svt#seventeen#seventeen fluff#seventeen scenario#seventeen joshua#seventeen imagine#seventeen x reader#svt imagine#svt fic#svt scenario#joshua hong#svt joshua#joshua hong imagine#svt joshua x reader
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Part 6: Leaps of Faith
Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 7
I hope that you catch me, cause I'm already falling (you put your arms around me and I'm home)
(In which a writer who can see the end approaching starts building towards that ending)
Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd
Themes: Angst and Fluff
Words: 8.0K
TW: Swearing, Alludes to Sexual Content
A/N: Good evening my lovelies <3. Happy Sunday and Happy Mothers day! First of all, I wanna thank y'all for being ever so patient with me. I know I've been pretty bad about updating lately and y'all have been so sweet with your asks and I really appreciate it. This fic is very close to its end. I probably could have ended it with this chapter but there's a very specific ending I want to write so this one is more of a self-indulgent filler but I think y'all will like this one. There will be one more chapter and then an epilogue of sorts. Once again, there are most likely logistical inaccuracies. I'm not even gonna lie, the editing on this one is shoddy so there are definitely grammar errors/typos. For now, ignore them and I'll go fix them later. As always, even if we're near the end, feel free let me know what you liked, what you didn't and anything you'd like to see before we get to the end. Have a wonderful week my angels <3
April 2024
“It’s a little early for ice cream hon,” Azzi jumps at the sound of her mother’s voice, startled eyes following the direction of the noise to find Katie leaning against the kitchen door, with a raised eyebrow.
“It’s a little early to scare the living bejesus out of me mom,” she says with a hand to her chest.
If possible, Katie’s eyes roll even further at her daughter’s sarcastic tone as she makes her way over to the kitchen counter. She’s gotten herself a spoon and everything, ready to steal some ice cream for herself, when she notices the flavour. Next to her, Azzi stiffens.
“You hate mint chocolate chip Az,” Katie says quietly.
“I couldn’t find the strawberry ice cream,” Azzi defends stubbornly, her face taking on a guarded expression.
Katie walks over to the freezer, opening it and pointing at the strawberry ice cream, Azzi’s favourite, that’s sitting in plain sight, “it’s right there.”
“Well,” Azzi splutters, “I’m trying something new,”.
“You hate trying new things.”
“I’ve grown up I guess.”
“Azzi.”
“Mom.”
“Azzi, why are you eating ice cream you hate at 4 in the morning?” Katie finally asks in her best mom voice, sighing when she gets a mumbled response from her daughter, “in words Az, please.”
“Paige likes it,” Azzi admits slowly, and before Katie can say anything, before Azzi can dwell on what she’s said, she launches into a rant, “god knows why. Actually I know why because she’s stupid and weird and likes the dumbest shit. Who the fuck likes mint? Who the fuck likes mint and chocolate together? Gross. This shit is disgusting. It tastes all wrong. Paige is just-,” Azzi throws her hands up in the air, “she just doesn’t understand that some things don’t belong together. They can’t. They’re too different and it just- there’s a fucking balance to things you know? And she just- she doesn’t get that. It’s just- it’s not meant to be.”
“That doesn’t explain why you’re eating it right now,” Katie says carefully.
“Because I miss her,” the truth bursts out of Azzi like an erupting volcano, burning itself into every crevice of her skin, “because for some fucking reason I don’t hate the taste of mint chocolate chip. Because maybe they do go together and maybe I’ve been the stupid one this whole time.”
Since she’d stepped out of the hotel in Cleveland, all Azzi could think about was going back, saying fuck it to all the useless logic she’d come up with and going back to the only thing in her life that had ever made sense her Paige. But as it often did in that clichéd battle between head and heart, her head had won out. And she’s never questioned why her head wins so much, why she’s always chosen to listen to the practical side of her brain, until now. Until now when the urge to turn back time, to make herself stay in that hotel room, is all that’s consumed her for the last week.
“Azzi,” Katie wraps her arms around the younger girl, “what happened with you and Paige?”
Azzi hesitates for a second and then everything’s spilling out of her lips, the good, the bad, the inbetween, all of it tumbles out like an uncontrollable waterfall. There’s something freeing about being able to say it all out loud, something freeing about the tears Azzi finally lets roll down her cheeks. She grips the edge of the counter to keep herself from keeling over, starting to feel herself crumble under the heaviness of all these stupid feelings.
“It shouldn’t be this hard,” Azzi whispers, “we used to be so easy.”
“Oh Az,” Katie rubs a thumb against her daughter’s cheek, “you used to be kids. You’re all grown up now. It’s always harder when you’re older.”
“Well, I don’t like it. I just want to be the way we were again.”
“So why don’t you?” Katie asks like it’s the most simple solution in the world and Azzi shoots her mother an exasperated look.
“What do you mean? How do we even do that? We can’t be just friends again. We tried. Were you not listening at all?”
“Azzi, sweetheart, you’ve never been just friends.”
“That’s not true,” it’s a futile attempt at arguing against what’s become more of a fact than an opinion in Azzi’s life. It’s a truth she’d let herself acknowledge once and then buried deep within her, scared that once unleashed, it would ruin everything. Except, it turns out, even without it, things had still turned to dust.
“Do you remember when you came home from Minnesota that first summer with Paige? You were either moping around or you were on call with her. There was no in between. It got better eventually, the moping stopped but the calls? I think you fell asleep on facetime with her almost every night. And you were tired every morning after, you barely had time to eat before school but every time I suggested that maybe you cut back, that was never an option,” Katie smiles fondly, “it’s when I knew.”
Azzi does remember, remembers talking about everything and nothing, remembers laughing and crying, remembers when Paige’s breathing was the only lullaby that could relax her into sleeping. And she remembers battling with that voice in her head, the one convinced there’s something more, silencing it with I’d do this with anyone. But that wasn’t true then and it’s not true now because Paige has never been just anyone, never been just a friend. Because even if Azzi’s never been brave enough to say it out loud, Paige is and has always been everything.
Despite knowing the answer and maybe dreading it just a little bit, Azzi asks it to her mom anyway, “what did you know?”
“That she was your person. You were too young, I couldn’t call it love just yet but I knew Paige was different then, she was yours in a way none of your other friends were. You were different around her,” Katie nudges her daughter, “Azzi you’ve always been just a little bit in love with her and she’s always been just a little bit in love with you too. The two of you have just been a matter of time.”
Azzi closes her eyes, and unlike other people, she doesn’t see darkness or little spots of light, she just sees Paige. Her mother’s words wash over her, like acid in her self-inflicted fight the feelings wounds and yet, the idea of she’s loved me too feels like a band-aid being delicately placed on the scars of her heart.
“And place,” she whispers, eyes still closed, “we never seem to get time and place right.”
“Why do you need to?”
Another exasperated look is sent Katie’s way at that question, “we live on different sides of the country mom, what do you mean why do we need to?”
“I mean the two of you have barely ever been in the same place. But you made it work, when you had even less, when you felt even less. But you’re adults now. You have other resources now. And I know timing is difficult but- it’s you and Paige. What are you so scared of Azzi?”
Azzi sucks in a deep breath, “what if Paige runs away again?”
“What if you run away again?”
“Excuse me?”
“Who was the last person to walk away, Azzi?,” Katie sighs when Azzi is adamantly silent, “I know she hurt you by leaving. I know she hurt you by pushing you away. But you did the same thing. You chose UCLA,” Katie holds up a hand when a frustrated Azzi tries to interrupt, “and it was the right decision for you Azzi and she should have supported it. But that doesn’t meant you didn’t hurt her and then you chose Zoe-”
“I didn’t choose Zoe-”
“Yes you did Azzi. Sweetheart you’re my daughter and I will always tell you the complete truth even if it’s not what you wanna hear. And the truth Azzi is that Paige might have hurt you in 101 different ways but that doesn’t mean you didn’t hurt her back in 99 different ways too.”
“You think I don’t know that?” Azzi whispers, “that’s the problem mom. It hurts when she hurts me but it hurts even more when I hurt her. I don’t want that for us but I just- I just don’t know how to stop it without stopping us.”
“You haven’t even tried, baby. Paige held out a hand and you ran away.”
“She left first. How am I supposed to trust that she won’t just do that again," all that’s missing from Azzi’s stubborn whine is a foot stomp.
“Because she came back. It took her a little bit, I know, but she came back and she’s ready to fight, the question is, are you?”
“Why are you defending her?” Azzi splutters, “who’s side are you even on?”
“There are no sides to this sweetheart. The two of you are on the same side. So maybe instead of fighting against her, take that hand, fight with her.”
***
The WNBA draft is a momentous occasion this year. With a hyped draft class like no other, and the promise of even greater ones in the future, there’s a sense of celebratory hope dangling in the air. When the invite had first come in, Azzi had known the same one would be sent to a certain blonde in Connecticut as well. And a part of her had wanted to hide herself away from that possible collision, but every other part of her wanted nothing more than to get just a glimpse of the blonde.
One moment Azzi is surrounded by flashing cameras and the echo of her name on everyone’s lips, the next everything around her is fading away her eyes meet Paige’s on the other end of the WNBA draft orange carpet. It’s nothing new really. Since she’s met her, the blonde has commandeered all of Azzi’s attention whenever she’s nearby. Sometimes it feels like all of her other five senses fade away to give birth to a secret sixth one, one that’s solely dedicated to Paige, one that’s terrifyingly all-consuming. And yet, despite the heaviness of we’ve said too many goodbyes, for the first time in what feels like eternity, Azzi feels like she can finally breathe.
And then Paige looks away.
And Azzi’s back to struggling for air.
It’s selfish of her, she knows, to expect something, not when she’d been the one to leave them stranded on different islands. But Azzi doesn’t seem to think logically when it comes to Paige and even as she tries to turn her focus back to posing for the camera, every inch of her body is dangerously aware of the blonde’s every move, just a mere few feet away from her. Her conversation with her mother is echoing in her head, giving rise to dangerous desires of what if i grabbed your hand and we ran away together.
Paige is a natural on the orange carpet, all dazzling smiles and twinkling eyes. She glides through it, inching closer and closer to Azzi, but never giving away any sense of discomfort. And if it was anybody else, maybe they’d never catch onto the nerves hidden beneath Paige’s facade of calm, cool and collected. But once upon a time Paige used to be Azzi’s favourite puzzle and she has every part of the blonde committed to memory. It’s in the way Paige’s teeth gnaw at her lips for the briefest of seconds, in the way her right index finger is begging to tap a beat against where her hands rests on hips, in the way she’s blinking just one too many times.
And then with one more heavy footed step from Paige, the distance between them is barely a couple inches and they let out identical breaths of air, both of them keeping their focus on the cameras in front of them. It’s loud, too loud, and still all Azzi can focus on is the sound of Paige breathing. The air around them is thick with tension. It feels a bit like they’re silhouetted against a sky made of words they’ve left unsaid and clouds of all the bitter mistakes they’ve made are hanging over their heads. And when their pinkies brush together, and a jolt of electricity sends shivers of I miss you more every day again her skin, Azzi questions if she’s ever made the right decision when it comes to Paige.
“Wait wait wait,” Ari cuts in, as she squeezes herself in between the two of them, “I wanna get in between the two of you.”
A harsh cry of no sits heavily on the top of Azzi’s tongue as the older woman forces a break in whatever little bit of contact she’d had with Paige. She feels a little pathetic, the way every little inch of her skin is craving for that touch back. It had been nothing, a barely there moment and still Azzi thinks, when she goes to bed tonight, if that was all she’d get of Paige, then it’ll be the only thing that’ll feature in her dreams.
“Alright one with just Paige and Azzi,” Ari directs the media, stepping out of the way and pushing the two younger girls together. And it’s laughable that a little brush of their pinkies had Azzi feeling any type of way because when they’re suddenly pressed together, every inch of Paige’s side fitting into Azzi’s like it belongs, the way the world suddenly bursts with light and colours makes Azzi wonder if every moment without Paige has simply been monochrome.
It comes to them naturally how to pose together, arms winding around each other’s waist, heads involuntarily leaning against the other’s. And the smiles might be for the cameras but Azzi knows hers is the most real it’s been all night. It might be temporary, she might lose Paige in the chaos, but for now Paige is here and Azzi has learned how to be content with whatever little she can get.
As the media moves to capture other people, the logical thing to do would be to separate, to let go of each other. But instead they stand there, still completely wrapped around each other, heart rates in sync as they breathe in each other’s presence. And then Paige’s hand falls from the small of Azzi’s back to tangle their fingers together and they let out identical sighs of relief, something so cathartic in the purposefulness of that touch. Everyone is too busy to notice that the two of them have fallen into a whole other world, one where there’s only two of them and every emotion that they’ve only reserved for the other. There’s no words exchanged as Paige guides the two of them out of the spotlight, somehow keeping their hands clasped together in secret, despite the ever growing crowd. And Azzi doesn’t know this building at all, doesn’t have the faintest clue where she’s being led to, but as long as it’s Paige pulling her along, she doesn’t care where, she thinks she’d go anywhere.
Paige stops abruptly in a secluded corridor, turning to fully face Azzi. And the sincerity in the blonde’s crystalline blue eyes, as they roam every inch of Azzi’s body before coming to fixate on her face, steals the air away from Azzi’s lungs. Paige has gotten better over the years at building walls, but with every new lock she places on her emotions, there’s a key to open them that seems to always find its way to Azzi. In the delicate golden hue, Paige shines brighter than any star ever could and in the dim light Azzi can make out every bit of hurt and love and please can we just have this moment that Paige can’t put into words.
“Hi,” Azzi whispers softly, hands itching to reach out and caress Paige’s skin.
“Hi,” Paige says back, even quieter. She stares at Azzi as if she’s memorising every little detail and then her face crumbles. Azzi feels her heart drop at the single tear that trickles down Paige’s cheek as she lets out a broken whimper. And this, this unspoken power they seem to have over each other, the uncanny ability to just hurt each other without any bit of effort, is what scares Azzi the most. It’s too much. They shouldn’t be able to do this.
“Paige,” Azzi’s fingers twitch but she hesitates, not knowing if it’s the right thing, “fuck- P what’s wrong?”
Paige doesn’t reply, eyes wandering down to where Azzi’s trying to keep her hands still against her sides and when she looks back up, her eyes are bloodshot, “what’s wrong? What’s not wrong Azzi? You won’t even fucking touch me.”
“I didn’t-” Azzi struggles to speak, “I didn’t think you’d want me to.”
“Can you just- fuck- can you just stop overthinking things for once in your life. Of course I want you to touch- you know what nevermind. This was a bad idea. You made yourself clear and I’m just- fuck- I should- I should just go.”
She sounds adamant enough but all it takes, when Paige moves to leave, is the strangled cry that leaves Azzi’s lips. The sound is enough to pull Paige right back in. She takes one look at the tears brimming in Azzi’s eyes. And then she’s pushing Azzi against a wall, hands on either side caging the younger girl between her body and the hard surface behind. She presses their foreheads together and Azzi feels like every part of her might just be a part of Paige too.
“I miss you. I miss you so fucking much. It’s barely been two weeks and I- fuck- Azzi- I’ve missed you every single second and now you’re here and I still miss you. And it really fucking hurts.”
“I’m sorry,” Azzi whispers, finally letting her hands cup Paige’s cheeks, and it’s worth it for the way Paige seems to completely melt into her touch, “I’m sorry I keep hurting you. I keep thinking I’m doing the right thing but- I don’t know- I feel like I’m always doing the wrong thing when it comes to you. I don’t- I don’t know what to do.”
“Just let me be with you,” Paige’s voice is wrecked with desperation as she presses herself as close to Azzi as possible, “I’ll be your whatever- whatever you give me- whatever you want- I just- I just want you Az- whatever little bit you’re willing to give me- I’ll take it- and if you want me to wait- fuck Azzi- I’d wait forever- you know that right? However long it takes, baby. Just want you- just want us.”
Leaps of faith are scary. Azzi’s never been great at taking them, too cautious, too much of a worrier. She’s more of a step back from the cliff kind of person. If she doesn’t jump, she can’t fall. But here’s the thing, when she was fourteen, Azzi jumped off of her first hypothetical cliff. It had been on a plane, when after avoiding one too many deep questions, Azzi had admitted to a girl she barely knew,that maybe she could like girls. It was the first time she’d ever let herself acknowledge that truth about herself and the girl next to her was a stranger but there was something about her, something that screamed i’ll hold your hand and if you jump it’ll never be alone. And ever since then, that girl, Paige, has always been there. Hands outstretched, ready to jump off any ledge. Because if there’s hard ground underneath, then they’ll learn how to fly together and if there’s water, they’ll figure out how to swim. With Paige there has always been the promise that, whatever it is, they’ll figure it out together. And it’s with that promise in mind, that Azzi takes the leap of faith.
“Me too,” Azzi whispers, heart beating erratically.
“What?” Paige searches Azzi’s face, as if waiting for her to take it back.
“Us. You. You and me. I want that too,” a ghost of a smile begins to creep onto Azzi’s face, and for the first time in god knows how long, she feels feather light, a little bit like she’s floating on a rainbow.
“You mean it?” Paige asks earnestly, hands moving from the wall to clutch at Azzi’s waist, “don’t play-Azzi- okay- you mean it for real?”
“I do. I want this- I want this so much and I’m still- I’m still really scared and maybe it’ll be a disaster but I- I want to try. With you.”
Azzi used to think she knew all of Paige’s smiles. Her small, not quite fake, but only for cameras and people she didn’t quite know, smiles. Her just for my friends smile that was filled with mirth and childlike joy. Her basketball smile that transformed into a smirk when she got too cocky. Her only for Drew smile, soft and filled with so much adoration and pride. Her Azzi smile, the one only the brown-skinned girl gets to experience, a smile that made Azzi’s her heart swell with love. But the smile that stretches across Paige’s face now, is one Azzi’s never seen before. This one throws Azzi’s entire world of balance, so bright, so big, so full of emotions. If she could, she’d tattoo that smile onto her skin forever.
“We’re really doing this?” Paige asks, still a little stunned. It wasn’t what Azzi had planned for tonight. She hadn’t really had any plans for what would really happen. But then Paige had walked in and all Azzi could see was forever she was tired of fighting against.
“We should take it slow okay-” Azzi wraps her arms around the older girl’s neck, keeping their foreheads still against each other’s, “I don’t- I don’t wanna rush into things and fuck it up. I can’t- fuck- I can’t lose y-”
“You won’t,” Paige swears, squeezing at Azzi’s wait, “I won’t let you. We can take it slow. We can take it however you want- I just- we’re doing this?”
“Yeah,” Azzi can’t help the grin that fills up her entire face, “yeah we’re doing this.”
And as they surge forward to claim each other’s lips, and as they meld every inch of themselves into each other, and as they smile and cry into the kiss simultaneously, and as they etch promises into each other skin, and as they let themselves finally fall into each other, for each other, it feels a lot like coming home.
***
July 2024
The early morning sunlight casts a dark shadow across Paige’s face, causing the still asleep blonde to scrunch up her face in irritation. Azzi, who’s been awake for nearly half an hour now, can’t help the fond smile that creeps onto her own lips. She shifts herself to block the sun and Paige lets out a content sigh, burrowing herself further into her pillows. And the thing is every moment with Paige is special but there’s something about waking up to her in the morning. Azzi’s always awake first and it gives her ample time to just admire the girl in her arms, blond hair tousled all over her pillow, lips parted slightly open, and one arm always, always, splayed across Azzi’s torso, holding her close. Over the course of time, Azzi’s found out that the second she moves, Paige seems to feel her leave, waking up instantly.
There had been an adjustment period if Azzi's honest. It had taken her a while to shake that fear of Paige not being there in the morning. The first morning, she’d been scared to open her eyes, even if she could feel Paige’s presence right next to her. That had been one of the few mornings that Paige was fully awake first, hovering above Azzi to wake her up. And when she finally did get the courage to open her eyes, the first thing Azzi had seen was Paige, blue eyes sparkling with unfiltered adoration, a smile filled with promises of every morning just like this. And that had been enough.
Azzi reaches out to brush a hand through Paige’s soft blond hair, mesmerised by how pretty Paige looks in the morning glow. A lot of Paige belongs to the world now and Azzi’s not opposed to sharing really, because someone so fucking perfect, deserves to be celebrated like that. But there are some parts of Paige that belong to Azzi and Azzi only, some parts Azzi cherishes as being only hers. This is one of them and Azzi takes a snapshot of it, knowing she’ll need it to function in a few months, when she won’t get the real thing.
“Are you watching Paige sleep?” Azzi almost jumps at the sound of Drew’s voice at the doorway, having been too immersed in Paige to have even heard the door open, “that’s kinda creepy Azzi.”
“Jesus Drew, whatever happened to knocking?”
“I forgot?” Drew grins, before he plops on the bed, the force of it making the whole frame shake a little bit.
“Drew!” Azzi chides, “you’re gonna wake her up.”
Drew cocks his eyebrows, sparing his sister, who seems unphased by the sudden little bit of chaos around her, still fast asleep, an unimpressive look, “please she can sleep through anything. Besides, it’s already 9. I thought we were gonna do things. I been up for aaaages.”
“She’ll be awake soon,” Azzi smiles, ruffling the younger boy's hair. Drew rolls his eyes and it’s remarkable how much he resembles Paige, not just by face, but the mannerisms too.
He huffs for a second before his eyes sparkle with an idea, “what if we pour water on her!”
“Drew!” Azzi chastises again, trying not to giggle.
“Boo,” Drew crosses his arms across his chest, “you used to be so cool Azzi.”
Azzi laughs as she’s reminded of a younger version of herself, scheming with Drew on how to wake Paige up. And it’s not that she’s beyond that really, tucking the water idea for a rainy day, but Paige looks too peaceful this morning and she wants to preserve that look of serenity on the older girl’s face for just a little bit longer.
“Hey Azzi,” Drew says after a while and Azzi hums in response, “when you and Paige get married, I can still be a groomsman right? Even if there’s no grooms?”
“Wha- where did that come from?” the brunette’s eyes widened at the question, sitting up a little straighter.
Drew peers up at her with all the innocence of a pre-teen, “you are gonna get married right?”
“I don’t-”
“It’s too early for your yapping Drew,” Azzi’s saved from answering by Paige’s tired voice entering the conversation. She looks over to find Paige’s eyes already on her, a soft smile playing on her lips as she looks up at Azzi. If Drew wasn’t sitting right there, Azzi would lean over and kiss her and let Paige deepen it until they were both satisfied.
“Oh thank god,” Drew cheers dramatically, “I thought you were gonna sleep forever.”
Paige scoffs, the arm that’s still wrapped around Azzi’s torso tightening its hold, “I wish.”
“Well you’re awake now so get up,” Drew whines, moving from his spot on the end of the bed, to flop on top of Paige’s body instead, “get up, get up, GET UP.”
“Get off,” Paige groans but there’s no real force behind it. Azzi watches with a fond smile, as Paige flips Drew over so that she can tickle him, eliciting rounds of laughter from the younger boy. Something in her heart flutters, her mind going back to Drew’s question. She’s never really been one to think too hard about marriage and children and that domestic suburban life, leaving it up to fate, but now- well, maybe.
“Okay aight aight enough. Go get ready for breakfast and we’ll be down in a second,” Paige says, ushering Drew off of the bed.
“You can just tell me you want me to leave so you can kiss Azzi you know?” Drew scrunches up his nose, “you two are gross.”
Paige sends him a stern look and gets a dramatic eye roll in return but as he always does, Drew does as he’s told, mock saluting the two of them and skipping out of the room.
“He’s right by the way,” Paige says softly, turning back to where Azzi’s leaning against the backboard, “I do want to kiss you.”
Azzi smirks lopsidedly, “what’s stopping you?”
She squeals in surprise when Paige pulls her, the force of it causing both of them to tumble onto the front-end of the bed. Azzi ends up on top of Paige, hands resting around her neck, the blonde’s hands holding her waist in place.
“Good morning,” Paige grins, clearly proud of herself as she chases Azzi’s lips to pull her into a searing kiss.
“Good morning,” Azzi whispers back, thumb caressing Paige’s left cheek.
“Just so you know,” Paige pulls away, a determined glint in her eyes, “we’re so getting married one day.”
***
October 2024
Azzi’s mood has been rancid for the last couple of weeks. It’s terrible she knows; it makes her irritating to play with and a nightmare to live with. But even if this had been expected, that she would be on one end of the country and her heart would be on the other side, it doesn’t stop her from constantly being in a state of missing Paige. And it’s different from before, now that there’s a certain surety of of course i’ll see you soon but soon never really feels soon enough.
“Azzi can you please get the door,” Kiki calls from her room when the doorbell rings.
“I’m busy,” Azzi grunts back, snuggling further into her pillow with a book she isn’t actually reading, “you go get it.”
“Azzi please, I’m literally in the middle of getting dressed,” Kiki yells exasperatedly.
If it wasn’t for the fact that she’s pretty sure her teammates are about this close to plotting her murder, and deservedly so, Azzi would sink back onto her bed and let the incessant doorbell noise continue. But she does love her teammates, thinks Kiki probably deserves to change in peace, and it forces her out of bed, grumbling away about annoying visitors. Until she actually gets a look at the visitor. Paige stands on the doorstep, confident as ever, a bouquet of roses and peonies and lilies in her hand.
“You’re here,” Azzi breathes out, staring in awe.
“And thank fucking god she is,” Kiki quips from behind her, “maybe we can finally get our old happy Azzi back and not this bitch.”
Paige laughs, “watch how you talk about my girl Rice.”
“You’re here. You’re really here,” Azzi whispers again.
“I heard you missed me baby,” Paige says, her cocky smirk betrayed by the softness in her voice. And then Azzi is flying into her arms, throwing Paige off balance.
“So fucking much,” Azzi admits into Paige’s neck, eliciting a giggle from the blonde, “Kiki’s right. I have been a bitch.”
“Just a little bit,” Kiki calls out again but there’s a new fondness in her voice. It’s funny how her team, even the haters, have slowly become Paige fans. They’d been hesitant at first, just like the UConn girls, but now well, it seems the basketball world’s Montagues and Capulets have learned to accept their star players’ relationship.
“Missed you too Az,” Paige’s tone is vulnerable as they break away, “alright, go get changed, I wanna take you somewhere.”
“Or…,” Azzi presses her lips to Paige’s neck, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses, “we could stay here and do something else.”
Paige shivers under her touch, stepping away to keep some semblance of control “n-no I have plans,” but she can’t help but kiss Azzi’s pout away, “it’ll be worth it, I promise. Besides,” she bites at Azzi’s ear, “there’s always later.”
***
“Your big plans are to bring me to the supermarket,” Azzi cocks an eyebrow as they walk down one of the many aisles, “you turned down sex for this? Should I be offended?”
Paige doesn’t say anything, concentratedly looking at signs, trying to figure out a specific section, before an aha! moment dances over her face, and she pulls Azzi with her, the younger girl going willingly, despite the eye roll. She stops triumphantly in front of the sushi section and Azzi looks at her quizzically.
“I’m getting you supermarket sushi,” Paige says pointedly, “and then you can get me mac and cheese.”
And if you brought me sushi I’d have brought you your favourite mac and cheese. Oh. The realisation of what Paige is doing trickles around Azzi a little bit like rain after a long summer drought. She thinks back to the bouquet, everything suddenly making sense.
“You’re such a dork Paige Bueckers,” Azzi says softly, tapping the older girl’s nose.
“Your dork,” Paige grins cheesily, “now hurry up and pick one. I don’t wanna miss the sunset.”
***
Once she catches on it, it doesn’t surprise Azzi to find that Paige has everything planned out perfectly, down to the exact spot in the park- the one by Paige’s recovery airBnB, the one they’d taken countless walks in trying to repair their friendship- where the two of them can be away from everybody else, in their own little bubble. And she has a picnic blanket, that’s a little small but they don’t really want space from each other anyways. They lean against a tree, food set up in front of them, Paige’s laptop, carefully piled on top of a couple of books to be the perfect height, set a little bit further away.
“So what NBA game are we watching?” Azzi asks with a smile and Paige groans, “what? Was that not part of the plan?”
“Dude come on. It’s the beginning of October. Please tell me you know the NBA season isn’t happening yet,” Paige rubs her temple, only a little endeared by the comment, “are you sure you’re a basketball player?”
“There are games in October. I swear I’ve seen them before,” Azzi says sceptically.
“Yeah at the very end of the month, not right now.”
“Well then close enough,” Azzi says indignantly, “I don’t need to know the exact day.”
“Whatever you say baby,” Paige acquiesces with a smirk and it earns her an elbow to the stomach, “what the fuck? That shit’s domestic violence you know?”
“Big words Bueckers, didn’t think you knew them,” Azzi teases, placing a kiss against Paige’s offended expression, before settling herself against the blonde’s side, sighing contentedly when she gets a kiss on her temple in return. They’re cliché enough to put on Love and Basketball, but Azzi doesn’t really end up watching much at all. In between slow kisses, she almost falls asleep a couple of times, the comfort of Paige’s arms like a blanket wrapping her in the warmth of this is my fairytale.
“THE POLAROID,” Paige’s shout breaks Azzi out of her haze as she feels her body being shaken off, the blonde rummaging through her bag for the camera, “we have to take the polaroid. My wall needs it.”
“Oh yeah a tiny polaroid picture of us inbetween all your Lebron posters, a perfect fit,” Azzi drawls only to be met with a scathing look from Paige.
“It’s for important things and Lebron is the most important of them all,” Paige explains with complete seriousness, as she finally finds the polaroid camera and shimmies back to Azzi with it in hand.
The sunset is beautiful. Pink, purple, orange and blue, all blending together to create the perfect picture. But Azzi thinks it’s not nearly as beautiful as the girl in front of her, not nearly as beautiful as the date Paige had planned, not nearly as beautiful as the future she can so clearly see now. Her mind drifts back to the night of the phone call, and she can almost hear Paige’s sobs again, can still hear her own voice breaking. Back then, they had seemed impossible, a butterfly like dream that danced out of their grasp.
“Hey,” Paige captures her chin with two fingers, “where’d you go?”
Azzi shakes her head, “nowhere. I’m right here. With you. Where I should be.”
“Sappy goof,” Paige snorts but she kisses Azzi like she’ll take those words and hide them in the labyrinth of her mind, protect them there forever.
Taking the picture is a task, both of them bickering about angles and lights. It’s unnecessary arguing, in true Paige and Azzi fashion really but there’s something so mundanely domestic about it that Azzi finds herself wanting to memorise this moment too. They finally get the frame just right, somewhere in between what they both wanted. Azzi smiles at the camera, her Paige smile, as the blonde in question presses her lips against her cheeks.
Click.
And Azzi hopes, that however many years later, when they have a home of their own, amidst all the photos that they’ll take over the next years, this one will be hung somewhere on their wall, a testament to finally realising every dream they’d dared to dream together.
***
December 2024
There are pebbles being thrown at her window and Azzi has to stop herself from laughing when she peers down to see Paige, freezing cold in the Virginia December air, staring up at her with a goofy smile. She shakes her head when her phone rings, knowing it’s Paige and answers it with her own foolish grin.
“What exactly are you doing?” Azzi asks, “come back to bed.”
“You said I was unromantic. I’m trying to be romantic,” Paige’s teeth chatter in the cold, as she balances her phone in one hand, still throwing rocks with the other.
“I didn’t say that and throwing rocks at my window is supposed to be romantic? You’re going to wake the whole house up.”
“That’s what they do in all the good rom coms. And you said and I quote ‘we’re kind of boring’. You might be boring Azzi Fudd but I most definitely am not.”
It had been a throwaway comment Azzi had made at dinner with some friends from high school. One of her friends had been going on and on about some adventurous trip that she and her boyfriend were going on, and then asked Paige and Azzi if they had any of that planned. To which Azzi had replied that they were a little too busy, considering they were college basketball players still in season, and besides they were “kind of boring” people. She hadn’t meant it in any type of way. Personally, Azzi likes boring. Paige however, seemed to have taken the comment to heart and Azzi had woken up at 2 a.m. to an empty bed and the sound of something being thrown at her window.
“Okay I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You're really interesting baby and the most romantic person in the world. Now will you please come back to bed,” Azzi concedes, already missing the feeling of being cuddled up in her blankets with Paige’s body heat keeping her nice and toasty.
“No,” Paige says indignantly, “come down here.”
“Paige, it's freezing. It’s gonna start snowing any minute.”
“Exactly. That’s exciting.”
“Sleep is exciting,” Azzi whines, but she’s already padding around her room looking for a warm sweater, grumbling under her breath about the warm California sun she’s missing. She tiptoes down the staircase, wincing at the one step that creaks just a little too much, before pushing herself out the door. And it’s freezing cold, there’s sleep in her eyes, but it’s all worth it Azzi thinks, it’ll always be worth it, just to experience Paige’s smile.
“Knew you’d come,” Paige grins cockily, mittened hands pulling Azzi into her.
“Yeah yeah. What are we even doing?”
“Azzi Fudd,” Paige bellows dramatically, “may I have this dance.”
Azzi stares at Paige’s outstretched hand wondering if this is some sort of cry for help, but one look at Paige’s face tells her that the girl in front of her is being absolutely serious.
“This is your idea of exciting? Dancing in the street while it’s freezing with no music?” Azzi raises an eyebrow, but she takes Paige’s hand.
“It’s spontaneous,” Paige says the last word with a flourish, as she spins Azzi, “why not dance in the street when it’s freezing with no music?”
And well, that’s a fair point. If anyone were to look out their window that night, they’d probably think the two girls were somewhat crazy. Laughing and giggling and tripping over each other as Paige hums a melody and Azzi occasionally joins in. It’s ridiculous and corny and cliché and perfect. And then the first little bit of snow falls, white drops circling around the two dancing girls, snowflakes catching on their eyelashes. The dim glow of the streetlight is enough to catch identical smiles on the two girl’s faces as they revel in each other.
“You know some people say if you make a wish during the first snowfall, it’ll come true,” Paige whispers, still waltzing the two of them around, cheek pressed to Azzi’s, “you wanna try?”
And the thing is Azzi doesn’t really believe in all of that, in magic but something about Paige, something about this moment feels magical. It makes a believer out of Azzi.
“Yeah,” Azzi smiles, “let’s make a wish.”
They stand still, holding hands, eyes closed, both a little breathless, as they make their wishes. And when they open them, if it feels a little bit like maybe their wishes have already been granted, well they’ll share it in a secret smile but never out loud. After all, wishes don’t come true if you speak of them.
***
April 2025
7 seconds to go in the National Championship and Azzi’s UCLA Bruins are down by two points. It’s her last chance, having already declared for the 2025 WNBA draft, to win a national championship, to bring home their first basketball national championship since the 1978 team that had won the AIAW championship, to win their first NCAA championship ever. It had taken some sheer luck to get to this point if Azzi’s honest. As a two-seed in the Spokane region, they’d benefitted from their one-seed having been eliminated early and then getting to face a Cinderella six-seed in the final four. On the other side of the bracket, UConn, the favourites coming for a repeat, had been stunned by another team, the team that UCLA was now facing. That had caused a bit of a second-hand sting and Azzi’s not really trying to take revenge for Paige, but it'd be a lie to say the get back at them for me babe from earlier this morning isn’t ringing in her head.
The play is simple, set screens for Azzi, get her open, get her the ball. A two would get them to a tie and three would win it outright. Either will do. It’s a little too reminiscent of last year when Azzi had failed at tying the final 4 game and she can still feel that loss on the tips of her fingers. They break out from their last timeout, breathlessly running to their spots on the floor. The whistle blows, Kiki inbounds the ball and everything is a blur. All Azzi knows is the shot clock is winding down. She runs off of what feels like a million screens. And then she’s open on the wing, for a millisecond. A perfect pass from Kiki makes sure the ball lands straight in Azzi’s hand. And she doesn’t think, doesn’t breathe, doesn’t even notice the defender put up a hand, she shoots the ball. There’s two people on the court that know for sure that ball is going in the minute it leaves Azzi’s fingers, the shooter herself and her biggest fan in the stands, who’s been just a little bit in love with that shooting stroke, since before anything else had even begun.
With a delicate swish, the ball falls through the net, the buzzer sounds around the arena, the crowd explodes in blue and gold, as the UCLA Bruins win the 2025 national championship.
Everything stills in Azzi’s brain for a second, her thoughts taking a second to catch up to reality. She’s never really been one to emotion on the court, keeping herself steely guarded through most games, even at the very end. But now, triumph and pride and just utter happiness at finally achieving one of her biggest dreams, comes roaring to the surface, manifesting itself throughout her entire body, as she lets out a scream of joy. Her teammates engulf her and she gets lost in a sea of hugs and tears and bright, decadent smiles.
As thing start to calm down, there’s really only one thing on Azzi’s mind and Paige’s words echo in her ears, because if I’m gonna end up fucking crying, then I want it to be on your shoulder. And if I’m gonna end up celebrating, I want it to be in your arms. And Azzi thinks maybe Paige had discovered one of the biggest truths of their life with that, the truth that at the end of day, in any moment, big or small, happy or sad, the one person Azzi wants next to her, is her Paige. It’s been that way since she was fourteen, and too young to really understand the meaning of wanting someone forever, and she thinks if she has her way, it’ll be like that for the rest of her life, the rest of their life.
Paige is beaming in the crowd, standing next to Jon and José, a #35 jersey proudly adorning her torso. She waves when she catches Azzi’s eyes, always her biggest cheerleader. And Azzi throws caution to the wind, fuck it, not caring that there’s still a large crowd or that cameras are likely to follow her every move. She pushes her way into the stands, stopping right in front of the blonde.
“On a scale of one to ten, how bad would kissing you right now be?” Azzi asks, still a little breathless.
A myriad of emotions flicker through Paige’s face before settling on a mischievous smirk, “probably pretty bad but you should do it anyways.”
Azzi grins before merging their lips together and everything else fades to the background, until she’s consumed by nothing but Paige. They break apart far quicker than either of them would like and Azzi expects to feel just a little bit of fear at what she’s just done, likely given the media a spectacle they could run a million and one stories about but instead, with her forehead still pressed against Paige’s, she feels nothing but calm.
“I’m so in love with you,” Azzi whispers and Paige’s eyes widen. They’ve known it for a while now but it’s the first time either of them have said it.
“Say it again,” Paige demands.
“I’m so in love with you,” Azzi says again, grinning so hard, she thinks it might become her permanent expression, “like really fucking in love with you.”
“I’m so in love with you,” Paige whispers, pulling Azzi into a bone-crushing hug.
And this might not be the moment where everything finally comes together. There’s still so much life left to live, so much that they still need to work through, so much they’ve yet to deal with. But for now, Azzi has a national championship and she has the love of her life, the rest will work itself out, or so she hopes.
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Hi, I just wanted to tell you that I absolutely love your metas! You’re not only clearly a very talented writer but also blessed with such great insight into these characters that my dopamine levels always jump to absolute heights with every new post. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and being a real gem in this fandom ❤️
Also, because I couldn’t find any post (or did I miss it?) about specifically Harry/Snape (without a third person added to the mix) I would love to read your thoughts on it. Either romantically or gen, after the war, where Snape lives. Thank you so much for indulging me :)
thank you very much for the [exceptionally lovely] ask, anon!
snarry is definitely a popular request...
... so let's get into it!
[and let's also get out of the way that i do not back snamione as a pairing. you can find out why here.]
while they're by no means my otp - and while i'll admit to preferring both snape and harry paired up with lord voldemort - i have long dabbled in a bit of snarry, particularly because it's a ship which attracts astonishingly talented writers. and - in particular - astonishingly talented writers who think really subtly, intelligently, and creatively about life and love and all the questions therein. i'm always really struck by the nuance with which both snape and harry are treated in so many snarry fics, and i much prefer that to the more one-note treatment each character gets elsewhere in the fandom.
and - of course - why snarry works so well as a ship is because it has such a solid justification in both harry and snape's canon characterisation - and because this compatibility is made all the more interesting by the layer of conflict caused by snape and harry's mutually antagonistic relationship. harry adores the half-blood prince - looks up to him so much, in fact, that he genuinely wonders if the man was his father - because they're intellectually compatible, have similar senses of humour, have similarly self-serving aspects to their moral codes, and have a shared reactivity and emotional volatility. the text emphasises this frequently, most explicitly when hermione tells harry in half-blood prince that he doth protest too much:
"He tried to jinx me, in case you didn’t notice!" fumed Harry. "I had enough of that during those Occlumency lessons! Why doesn’t he use another guinea pig for a change? What’s Dumbledore playing at, anyway, letting him teach Defence? Did you hear him talking about the Dark Arts? He loves them! All that unfixed, indestructible stuff - " "Well," said Hermione, "I thought he sounded a bit like you."
harry is also willing to acknowledge these similarities himself, sometimes. he empathises with - and even, occasionally, respects - snape well before the conclusion of deathly hallows, and - crucially - does this on his own terms. him refusing to dismiss his disgust at his father's treatment of snape in snape's worst memory in order not to make sirius or lupin feel awkward is incredibly impressive - and is something i don't think he gets enough credit for.
and since one of the things which makes me a member of both tomarrymort and snapemort nation is harry's instinctive understanding of how voldemort's childhood affected him and voldemort's understanding of how snape's childhood affected him, this is something i think provides a fascinating seam for authors to mine when writing about snape and harry together.
similarly, post-war, i think snarry is one of the best pairings for exploring how both harry and snape come to terms with the realisation that - no matter how well it all worked out in the end - they were both pawns in a larger game. i think that snape is, really, the only person in harry's life who could ever come close to appreciating what it means to have dumbledore send you out to [nearly] die - and i also think, because the man is always at the forefront of my mind, that snape is one of the few people in harry's life who can appreciate the fact that harry, as much as he also hated and feared him, was impressed by, sympathised with, and wanted to help voldemort.
snarry is also an incredibly compelling ship for thinking about power, and how both harry and snape understand it. i wouldn't care about the age difference, or the fact that snape and harry's acquaintance is established while harry is a child and snape is his teacher, even if the dynamic between them could only ever be heavily unbalanced in snape's favour, because these are fictional people. but i'm often struck by how interestingly snarry writers deal with snape being someone who views himself, inherently, as a supplicant - and who therefore ends up offering harry the upper hand in their dynamic [whether this is platonic or otherwise] despite the fact that he is the younger partner. snape's capacity for destructive devotion and self-subordination is one of his most fascinating canon characteristics - and snarry is one of the best vehicles for exploring this.
indeed, the canonical snape clearly regards harry as someone who possesses power over him. his complaints about harry being rich, spoiled, and arrogant make clear that he considers harry to be the second coming of the dynamic he had with james [with it never seeming to occur to him that this is an absurd thing for an adult teacher to think about their pupil], while his complaints about harry's fame are because he views harry as an inherent insider [someone with a pureblood surname and the money to prove it] to the wizarding world while he himself is an outcast. this can cause some exquisite toxicity - especially when snape, who tends to view every interaction he has though a win-lose lens and who becomes incredibly nasty in both victory and defeat, is proven right, having insisted to harry that the wizarding world won't like its golden hero getting railed by a tenuously-acquitted death eater.
but it can also result in something surprisingly beautiful. harry likes to save people, after all, and snape would - deep down - very much to be saved.
and one way he can do this is by offering snape the forgiveness for his role in lily's death which it's clear the canonical snape refuses to accept he might be entitled to. and, in doing this, the pairing draws out a theme which i am obsessed with - that there is a lost generation, whose ghosts haunt the characters alive in the canon timeline. no matter how negative his opinion on james and sirius and so on is, by virtue of knowing them, snape provides harry with a connection to a world he would be a stranger to otherwise, while harry provides snape with a mooring in the present which makes dealing with the weight of the past - and processing the fact that he's virtually the only person he knew as a teenager who's still alive - easier.
i also think that fucking your enemy's nephew is iconic, and snape and petunia meeting again in a scenario in which he's harry's boyfriend is a concept that sustains me.
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in the middle of working on a lucifer redesign :)
thoughts/explanations + minor character analysis under the cut (this was supposed to be short but it ended up being very thorough lmao):
honestly love his canon design so I'm kind of working from that more than I'm trying to rethink stuff from scratch
I'm gonna admit right now that a lot of the design choices were very self indulgent lol; I just want him to be pretty :<
circus stuff~
I've seen a lot of people raise their eyebrows at the circus motif, so I was going to try something different, but I actually think it makes a lot of sense!
I think freakshows/circus acts have been tied to this idea that certain identities/abilities are strange and shameful, only valuable as dehumanizing entertainment -- they're mistakes, freaks of nature
but at the same time many circus performances require a lot of skill and work and love that can go unappreciated, each and every performer at the very least a person worth respecting
I think lucifer sees hell as a freakshow/circus he's been forced to lead and try to control
a bunch of wayward toys meant to be bright and beautiful that have been twisted into something terrifying
and he needs to discover a more empathetic, appreciative, and loving way to think about sinners
and also to realize that it's not about him or his mistakes; it's about a group of people with their own emotions and autonomy that he needs to respect
anyway
all that to say: we're keeping the circus ringleader thing!
I think a whip would make more sense for a ringleader, esp since alastor has a staff already (but they're enemies/foils so maybe their designs should reflect each other?)
there's room to turn the whip into a snake maybe
in the pic I made it look like his tail bc I considered making his actual tail a goat tail (cute! but the longer one suits him better I think)
maybe an apple on the top/handle still
the tux honestly looks a little too formal/cool for him most of the time lmao
so I think he should take off the jacket/have the toymaker apron on instead unless he's fighting
vaudeville doll~
lucifer has a lot going on tbh: circus ringleader, angel, devil/demon, snake, goat, vaudeville porcelain doll, toymaker, etc.
I think I'm gonna take out snake just to simplify a little, but I'll talk about that more later
I was also going to take out porcelain doll but
1) the rosy cheeks are super cute
2) fits with the circus theme
3) fits with the idea that he's both a toy and toymaker (an angel that tried to play god)
uhhh there's a couple self indulgent doodles of him in a vaudeville doll dress lol. not relevant to the design at all; I just like drawing stripes and ruffles
I ended up making him sort of androgynous in a lot of ways? (not that he wasn't already lol) which works for him I think
part of it was the vaudeville doll thing; I wanted to give him (keep?) the eyeshadow and add those little vertical marks you see on them sometimes
also because I really liked the puff sleeves in one of the references I used; it kind of emphasizes an extended hourglass shape with the puffy pants
plus I love drawing the more classic tuxedo shape <3 very yummy lines and details
hair/shape~
I fucking LOVE when people draw him with messy hair, so I made that permanent
I also think (esp since he's blond) having the hair stick out in tufts kind of makes it look like a star (morningstar, lightbringer, etc. etc.)
even more so with the pointy horns (those are also fun to draw cause they're right in the corners of his widow's peak)
I drew a random triangle on one of these as a reminder to keep the pointy/triangular shape language throughout lol
squares would def be wrong with the implications of sturdiness and stability
I think circles would be wrong too? he's vulnerable and ultimately very soft inside so I kept a lot of round lines, but I don't think he's the traditionally bubbly/friendly/peaceful archetype circles are usually used for
triangles are apparently dynamic, dangerous, and unpredictable, which is a little closer to what I'm going for
(shape language is a very flexible rule btw; I'm not saying they determine everything about a character or that one shape has to mean exactly one thing)
he's also a depressed, tortured soul, so I feel like he should look just a little unhinged and exhausted <3 (hence the eyebags on top of the messy hair)
angel stuff~
(sidenote: cherub and seraph are singular, cherubim and seraphim are plural. even the show gets this wrong tho, so feel free to say whatever ig)
I'm pretty sure most people agree lucifer was probably a cherub? cherubim only have 4 wings so I might go with that
I do think it makes more sense if he's higher ranking like a seraph tho ... it's hard to decide whether to go with the show's ideas about angels or actual religious texts cause both are interesting in their own ways
snake~
ARHHGHJF idk how I feel about his nose
again I thought about taking out the snake motif, but he honestly looks good w/o a nose (I mean it's there obviously but you can't see it if it's just snake slits lol), and I definitely like the idea of him having a forked tongue or his eyes turning into slits when he's angry
also also
mini rant on animal motifs in hazbin:
I get the impression that a lot of people think it's a bad thing that you can't tell what animal a character should be? and/or that a motif has to be clearly present in the entire design to be good
and I kind of just accepted that until I started thinking about ozzie's design from helluva boss
like the original demon he's based on is really just that fucked up and mixed with animals you can't always identify
and chinese dragons are like a billion different animals even though they sort of just look like lizards at the end of the day
like obviously if you want the audience to associate a character with a specific animal (like if you want people to think a character's spooky because they're a spider or something), then you do want the animal motifs to be clear/consistent
but sometimes you just want certain elements there and it doesn't matter if the audience picks up on it (at least consciously)
and I think with someone like lucifer, having a lot of animals/concepts mixed together in an ungodly combination makes sense lol
so idk
maybe we'll just give him the nose/tongue
I did try just giving him a button nose in some of these for the doll thing tho
goat/charlie~
urgh I hate realizing I should've designed certain characters together lol
I took out the rosy cheeks in my original charlie design since I wasn't thinking about lucifer, so I put them back in this time lol (and generally thought about how they should be visually related)
I like that it enforces the idea that charlie's lucifer's creation (toymaker makes a doll in his own image yk)
also they both have puff sleeves now :) (charlie's design is basically princess dress silhouette but make it a suit)
I also gave her goat ears, so I figured lucifer should have them too? idk because I like the way his hair looks a lot better without them, and I kind of like the idea of giving them diff combinations of goat features (maybe she should have a goat tail?)
also drawing this made me realize I have no idea why charlie has a puppy nose??? I thought it was the goat thing for some reason but that doesn't make any sense
maybe I'll just give her no nose
anyway! fucking incredible if you read all of that; idk what possessed me to write so much about a half-finished design lol. feel free to leave suggestions/answers to the questions I had!
#I was gonna draw some radioapple stuff and then realized I hadn't touched lucifer's design yet lol#still not done obviously but I have a working version now at least#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel redesign#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel charlie#art#my art#character design#oh yeah I guess there's one#hazbin hotel alastor#in this one#oops
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𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬, 𝐜𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬
A/N: I just needed to get the Henry brainrot out there so this is very, very, very self indulgent and personal. I'll write quality shit for him later. This is just a fic about him and me which is poorly written and has basically no plot.
"Will you stop clicking that god darned pen already, Y/L/N? It's getting on my nerves" Bunny whisper-yelled while you all sat in the library. Henry shooting daggers at him was enough for him to mumble a little "sorry" and to shut up about the pen for good. Y/N giggled a quietly and went on with her translation, squeezing Henry's hand under the table as a 'thank you'.
He knew she sometimes had trouble staying put, unlike all the others, so toying with her pen helped. Francis, Camilla, Charles and her boyfriend thought it was comforting; like the soft click clack click click clack of typewriters. As always, Edmund seemed to be the only one bothered by something they all liked.
"Póte févgoume?" Y/N's boyfriend was asking him when were they leaving for the date they were having that day "Pénte triánta" she answered five thirty. Now, they knew communicating in Greek was risky, but they had no other way of keeping the secret without having to find explanations for their seemingly sudden closeness.
Plus, the only two people who understood spoken Greek were them. Unless their friends were as nosy as to go fetch a Greek dictionary, they were safe. Surprisingly, Henry had insisted on watching a movie called 'Christine'. He overheard some people talking about how good it was the other day in the dining hall and asked you to go watch it with him. ("As a date?" "Yes, as a date, darling"). Now, all they had to do was coordinate their exit from the library and drive to the movies.
She had to admit sneaking around thrilled her to no end, knowing well how Henry was perceived in everyone's eyes; stoic, emotionless, cunning, pretentious and wickedly smart. Y/N knew all those things were true, but after the night he half drunkenly confessed her his love at the lake house, she was acquainted with a tender side of Henry Winter.
Henry's gestures of affection were often subtle. A soft smile shared across a crowded room, a gentle touch on her shoulder when he thought no one was watching, or the way he would quietly check in on her during late nights of studying. Sometimes, late into the night, they would take long walks through the silent campus, hand in hand. Henry's normally sharp and analytical mind seemed to take a break, and he would simply listen as Y/N talked about her hopes and dreams.
Y/N cherished these glimpses of tenderness from Henry. They were like rare treasures, hidden beneath the layers of his scholarly exterior. She realized that, beneath the enigmatic facade, there was a person who could be caring, loving, and deeply connected. These moments of vulnerability made their relationship all the more special, and she was grateful to be the only one to witness them.
She was pulled from her thoughts at him letting go of her hand and getting up, causing the loud screeching of his wooden chair against the floor to flood the library. "I'll get going" he said, putting away his books "You're not even halfway done" said Francis without lifting his gaze from whatever Latin he was writing "I need to revise some texts with Julian, I'll finish it later" he finished, leaving in quick but confident steps.
After about five minutes, Y/N asked for the time and pretended to be late for a meeting with her girlfriends, leaving hurriedly as well. She noticed some funny looks but bypassed them and made a beeline towards the bottom of the stairs of the large building; Henry waiting with a cigarette while leaning into the hard stone of the railings. Without looking at her, he offered his hand and put out his smoke after feeling her engulf it.
"Five dollars you won't stand the film and we'll leave halfway through" she smiled, looking at him teasingly. "You're on, Y/N/N".
Y/N was five dollars richer that day as they walked to his house where she's be crashing for the third week now. Her dorm room was pretty much empty now, only her wall decorations, clothes she didn't like much, and some stationary remained inside with a tiny layer of dust covering it.
"It was fun!" "It was totally ridiculous... It's my fault, I shouldn't have listened to those ignorant pieces of-" "Henry?" A strident voice along with a little incredulous snicker came from behind and at that moment they knew their little facade was over.
Edmund Corcoran was not going to blackmail them to keep the secret.
They walked hand in hand to class the next day, not caring to explain anything to their friends. "What is that about?" asked Charles with a smile "Isn't it obvious?" said Henry, and Julian swore he could see the faintest hint of a smile. <3
#henry winter x reader#henry winter smut#henry winter#henry winter x you#henry winter fanfiction#the secret history#the secret history x reader
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a while ago in june of last year i posted this sketch dump and received a very wonderful ask from @mochamai wherein the mysterious ghost hand to the left of maedhros was brought to attention..... i hv seized this opportunity to do these very self indulgent doodles of Melkor who (loathe as i am to admit it) is the individual that hand belongs to 😭😭
HEAR ME OUT OK. it was just supposed to be a random hand right. i had drawn it with normal nails and everything!!! BUT THEN. then. i was on pinterest browsing character design inspiration and i found the infamous stained dark claw hand (if you know you know) and i realised it was my one chance to actually incorporate it into my silm designs... then i considered who would fit it and all i could think of was post-silmaril morgoth.... and here we are :((((
anyways ive been kinda busy these past two months BUT i used this chance to squeeze in some anatomy practice so errrrr dont ask me why he's shirtless in most of these..... i will only speak in the presence of my attorney........
thank you again for taking the time to ask though!!!!! ❤️❤️ i really really do like your original interpretation of the hand (i'll post the original picture below if anyone is curious) belonging to Maedhros in Mandos-- especially since it kinda matches up lorewise doesnt it....!!! it means a lot that youd take the time to look at it in such detail waaaaa <3333 maybe some new mae doodles are in order to make up for it 😚😚 soon!!!
^ the aforementioned hand dun dun dunnnn
#rin replies#mochamai#melkor#silmarillion#maedhros#morgoth#the silmarillion fanart#i really do like claw hands........#im redesigning the valar so i suppose this was inevitable#i miss maedhros :((((#mairon#sauron#thuringwethil#gothmog#i think the anggang deserve a little girls night pampering out once in a while#you cant be slaying elves if you arent being slay yourself 😤#angband#the silmarillion#silm#elves#sketch dump#sakasakart#silm art
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𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐃𝐚𝐲 ᝰ ☕︎ 📂 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
⤳ synopsis: Nanami asks you to come into work tomorrow for overtime, but it’s supposed to be your day off.
genre: smut
⤳ a/n: got inspired by an animated clip in twt….I can’t find it though :(
⤳ tags: power dynamics, backshots (me next nanami), praise, vulgar, explicit, office sex-
⤳ wrd cnt: 1.9k
You sat down in your crummy office chair, staring at the mountain of paperwork ahead of you. It was the most interesting site in your boring middle office, view covered with the big cinder block building that no one rented. All you could think about was the fact that tomorrow was supposed to be your day off. Supposed to.
You had been looking forward to a relaxing evening, catching up on all your half watched shows and indulging in some much-needed self care.
However, as usual, your boss Nanami had other plans. You could hear his voice over the little radio in your office phone, calling you into his office for a moment.
You sighed, knowing that it was probably another project that needed to be finished urgently.
You walk into him staring at his laptop with a look of overwhelmed dread.
“Y/n, I know tomorrow is supposed to be your day off, but I was hoping you could come in for some overtime, it’s much needed” he said casually, leaning back in his chair.
You couldn't help but feel a rush of annoyance. You were scared your eye was about to start twitching infront of him.
This wasn't the first time he had asked you to sacrifice your time off for work, and you were beginning to feel resentful towards him. But as soon as you opened your mouth to protest, he continued.
“I know it's asking a lot, but I promise it'll be worth it. I can't do this project without you. And besides, I'll make it up to you,” he added with a charming smile.
That walking company credit card better get you some pad thai, at the very least.
You looked into his eyes and felt all your resolve weakening. You knew you couldn't resist the allure of his persuasive words and his stupid handsome face. And deep down, you were a little curious about what he meant by 'making it up to me.'
Maybe a raise?
“Okay, I understand.” you reluctantly agreed, trying to sound firm but failing.
“Great, I'll see you tomorrow night then,” he said, giving you a smile before he saw you out.
The rest of tomorrow was quite dull, there really was no one but you, your boss, and a few strangling assistants trying to keep up with agendas and filings.
It was finally 6pm, and your overtime started.
You made your way to Nanami’s office with most of your belongings and the rest of the stack of papers you had procrastination on the day before.
Before you had a chance to knock on his office door, it swung open with Nanami inches away from your face, quickly backing up, startled.
'Y/n- Sorry, I was just about to go get you. Please, have a seat,” Kento said as he closed the door behind him. “I appreciate you staying late to help me with this. You've been a great asset to the department”.
You blushed and mumbled a thank you, feeling flustered by his words. You had to admit, as much as your boss annoyed you from time to time. You truly looked up to him, and a compliment from Kento made you feel much more confident about your capabilities. But as you looked up at him, you noticed the way he was staring at you.
It wasn't just appreciation, it was something more. “I have to admit,” Kento continued, walking behind and around your seated form to plop down into his desk chair across from you. “I've been watching you. Your dedication to your work ethic, your intelligence….your beauty. I've expected a lot from you, and I’m glad I was right to do so.”
You were at a loss for words, your heart pounding in your chest. You never imagined that Kento, your strict and unapproachable boss, would have paid so much attention to you. But here he was, confessing all this in front of you, his eyes burning into you with every word.
Before you could say anything, Kento smiled and looked down to your lips, and back to your eyes before opening up his laptop and crossing his legs, leaning back into his chair as you tried to form words.
You were taken by surprise, and you didn’t fully register everything he said, especially the part where he told you how beautiful he thought you were.
“Thank you- Mr. Nanami.” You said, gulping slightly and trying to fill the silence.
He twirled a pen with his fingers while replying to you, “Call me Kento, you’ve earned it.”
You nod, getting to work on the shared desk.
The two of you exchanged more details on the work at hand, hours went by and it certainly felt like it.
You let out a big yawn, small droplets forming in your eyes. It was already midnight.
“Oh dear…we’ve been here quite a while huh? Let’s take a break, stretch our legs.” He suggested.
“Sure, would you like to get some coffee?” You offered.
“I’m okay, how about you?”
“I actually…don’t even like coffee”, you confess.
Nanami lets out a deep chuckle, catching you off guard a little as it’s the first time you’ve heard him laugh.
“Y/n, there’s something I’d like to share with you. I find it now to be quite appropriate.”
Your curiosity is peaked, silently hoping for something more than just a raise.
“You’ve shown how loyal you are to this team. I’d like to offer you a promotion to senior management. We can talk more on the details later, but I look forward to sharing them with you.”
You eyes widen, this was a promotion you didn’t expect til the next few years.
Trying to stay as professional as possible, you say, “Yes! I would-“ you jump up, trying to calm down a little but it’s a little too late. Without even thinking you hug Nanami, surprisingly he hugs you back, lifting you up a bit off the floor since you pounced on him and all.
It only got worse, you may have accidentally kissed him too.
Could you blame yourself? His hands hugged your back in a way that felt too welcoming, and when you pulled away from the hug in trying to reclaim your professional manner, you swear it was like a slo motion film, where your eyes met; lips slowly pressing together.
His lips were soft yet demanding, almost like he wished for this more than you did. His tongue teased yours as his hands roamed over your back.
“Miss Y/n,” Kento whispered against your lips, his voice sending shivers down your spine, “You should really be more careful.”
Before you knew it, he had you lifted up into his hold. He placed you onto his desk, throwing the rest of your unfinished stack to the floor in a swift motion. His hands engulfed the sides of your face as he took your lips into another dance, standing in between your legs. The authority and control he had in the office now seemed to transfer to this encounter, and you were putty in his hands, melting into his palms.
You soon felt his kisses trail down to your jaw.
“Nanami-“ You gasp.
“What did I tell you before. Call me Kento. I need you to.” He whispered into your ear, pulling your hair to make you look at him. You nod, as he makes your head lean back, giving him ample space to place kisses to your exposed neck as you sat on his desk, the paperwork as unimportant as ever.
“Yes- Kento…please- need more…”
You moan, your words shaky as he takes your bottom lip between his teeth, biting down gently before soothing it with his tongue.
His hand trails down your body, his fingers slipping under the hem of your pencil skirt, teasing the skin of your inner thighs before finally meeting the dampened fabric of your panties.
“You’re so wet for me already. Did you think about this all day, imagining my hands on you?” He asks, his fingers starting to rub against your clothed core, eliciting a loud moan from you.
“Yes-! Please Kento…I couldn’t stop thinking about you, about how badly I wanted you to fuck me…” You admit, feeling a sense of freedom in sharing your desires with him after all his vulnerability towards you.
“Mmm, I’m so glad we’re on the same page. Tell me how badly you need me sweetheart.” He commands, his voice low and husky, only adding to the heat between you two. You whimper, feeling his fingers pressing harder against you, the fabric of your panties becoming damper with your arousal.
“Please, Kento. I need you, I need you to fuck me. I want to feel you fill me up, I want you to make me yours, completely.”
You plead, feeling the desire and lust pulsing through your body. But Kento is not one to give in easily, enjoying the way you squirm under his touch. “Thats it, you’re such a good girl.”
He smirks, hiking your skirt up as he kneels down before you and pulls your thighs closer to his face.
He looks up at you with eyes of dark endearment, moving your panties to the side before diving down to bury his face between your thighs. His tongue works magic on your sensitive bundle of nerves, making you grip onto his hair tightly as you try not to scream his name. He already knows just how to push all your pleasure buttons, his fingers slowly tracing your folds before entering you with two fingers, curling them to hit that spot that makes you see stars.
Your superior, knelt down and serving your cunt right before your eyes.
“Fuck, Kento. I-I can’t-” You pant, feeling yourself getting close to the edge. He pulls away, making you whimper at the loss of contact.
“No, not yet. I want to be inside you when you come.” He stands up, unbuckling his belt and sliding off his pants. You can’t help but admire his toned, muscular body as he grips you hips to turn you over, forcing you down onto the hard desk, tits pressed against it with his hand pressing down on your lower back to make your ass grind up against his hard, throbbing cock.
He positions himself at your entrance, slipping his dick up and down your dripping folds, coated with your arousal, his spit, and his pre-cum leaking tip.
He slaps it on your ass a little too, making sure to savor every part of you.
“Look at me.” He commanded, waiting for you to turn your head back to meet his eyes.
He slowly pushed into you, making you gasp and grip onto the desk for support. He almost came right then and there from watching your eyes wince at his size.
He starts off slow, but it doesn’t take long for his thrusts to become rough and demanding.
Your entire body burns, a sensation so deep and guttural.
You feel Kentos hand snake up to your neck from behind, pulling you up off the desk, arching your back into him deeper, his cock finding spots in your cunt untouched to anyone else as he fucked you deeper.
“Do you like this, dirty girl? When your boss fucks your hard like this? You’re so tight around me.”
“Oh God, Kento. Yes, yes, yes!” You cry out, feeling yourself reaching your peak. He matches your moans with his own, the sound echoing through the room. The tension builds, until you both reach your climax together, panting and moaning each other’s names. Kento doesn’t pull out of you, not until he’s finished making sure you’re full to the brim. Only then, he’ll pull out and watch all his cum drip out of you and onto the edge of the desk. He might even fuck it back into you.
His gift to you, for your new promotion.
whimsic4alwasab1 ™ - do not copy, translate, modify, or claim any of my work as your own.
#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk smut#nanami kento#jjk kento#kento smut#jjk nanami#nanami x reader#nanami smut#jujutsu nanami#nanami x you#jjk x you#jo’s posts
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It's so nice to finally be able to release this into the world! Work, migraines and socializing made it take longer than it probably should have to finish. I hope everyone enjoys this incredibly self-indulgent, slice of life fluff fest ❤️ I do want to quickly note, though, that I've never played SA2. I did read a synopsis and did a bunch of research, though, so I hope nothing is too glaringly wrong? P.S - The final word count for this is over 28K. If you'd prefer, I'll be posting this in chapters on AO3 for easier reading. The link for my AO3 in in my pinned post.
Return to Innocence
Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog (video games)
Pairing: Sonic/Shadow Warning(s): Description of injury
Summary: Watching Shadow fall from the ARK sat heavy on Sonic's heart. It was his greatest failure and regret to date. He'd thought he'd have to live with that regret for the rest of his life. It would seem that fate had other plans.
Sonic sighed as he trudged through the deluge of rain on his way back home after visiting with Amy. Tails had insisted he go out, despite the rain, since he'd apparently been 'moping around' since they made it back to Mobius from the ARK. He'd said that a visit to Amy should help perk Sonic up, since he usually found her bubbly personality refreshing and sweet.
It did not.
Ever since they'd returned home, when not otherwise preoccupied by the disaster of the week, Sonic couldn't help but let his mind drift back to the last few moments he'd spent in his super form those handful of months ago. He replayed the scene in his mind ad nauseum, substituting every action imaginable to try and think of some way the outcome could have been different. However, and as unfortunate as it was, without Shadow's sacrifice there would have been no way for them to push the ARK out of its crash course with the planet. That didn't stop Sonic from wondering what would have happened if he'd just reached out a moment sooner, though. If he had managed to grab Shadow's hand instead of his inhibitor ring, then maybe they could have both made it back home.
When Amy had managed to pry his thoughts from him (after much bribing with cake) she told him that there was little to no point in dwelling on the past, since there was no way for him to change it. She'd told him that he should do as he promised, and carry Shadow's memory with him, honor it, and do his best to move on. Sonic admitted that, despite Shadow brushing away his reaching hand, he couldn't help but feel like it hadn't been what Shadow had wanted, but what he thought he deserved after everything he'd done. Amy had sighed, filled his tea cup up with something overpoweringly floral, and told him that there was no way for him to know, since, once again, he could not change the past.
Her words did very little to dissuade his mind from plucking at the painful memories and replaying them on repeat.
Once Sonic felt that he'd spent enough time at Amy's to get Tails off his case for a good few days, he bid the pink hedgehog farewell and made his way out into the rain. She'd offered Sonic an umbrella, but he'd opted to stick to the vibrant yellow rain coat that Tails had forced onto him before he'd left, stating that he found the sensation of rain in his quills refreshing. Truthfully, it was more that he was hoping that the feeling of the water cascading through his quills and seeping into his fur would help to wash away the sticky feeling of guilt he carried with him for not trying harder to save Shadow.
His mind was so caught up in swirling thoughts of self-loathing that he very much almost missed the cloaked figure of a Mobian standing in his front yard, staring up into the sky as though it held the answers of the universe. He paused when he finally registered that someone was outside of his house, frowning slightly through the rain at them.
"Hey!" Sonic called, stepping forward, "You okay?" An ear twitch was Sonic's only real indication that the other had heard him, prompting him to continue forward, his hand outstretch towards the other's shoulder. "Hey, man. C'mon, my little brother is inside and you're gonna freak him out if you keep standing in the rain like this."
Sonic's hand didn't manage to make contact before the Mobian was turning, a flash of familiar red quills causing Sonic to freeze as though he had come face to face with a specter.
"…Shadow?" he whispered in disbelief, tears welling in his eyes as he let out a loud whoop, throwing his arms into the air, before wrapping them around Shadow in a fierce hug. "You're alive!" He pushed the dark hedgehog back by the shoulders, "Wait, how did you survive?" He blinked a couple of time before shaking his head and yanking the other back into a hug, "Oh, man, it doesn't even matter! This is so way past cool!" He let out a hysterical little laugh, a bit amazed that Shadow hadn't shoved him away by now, but couldn't bring himself to care much. The guilt and remorse that had been swirling inside him for months now would finally stop.
"I'm sorry," Shadow murmured, catching Sonic off guard with how soft his voice sounded, "But…do I know you?"
That made Sonic reel back, holding Shadow at arms length. "I-…C'mon, Shads," Sonic snorted, crooked grin working its way across his muzzle, "It's not like you to joke."
"I'm afraid I'm not joking," Shadow stated with a short shake of his head, "My apologies, since it does seem that you know who I am. But…I'm afraid I can't recall who you are."
Sonic let his arms drop, his head shaking slightly as he took a short step back. "It-it's me! Sonic? Fastest thing alive? The blue blur?" he gestured at himself, striking a little pose. When Shadow simply shook his head again with a small shrug, Sonic sighed and let his shoulders drop. "The faker?" he offered flatly, arching an eyebrow at the other. When he was still met with a blank stare he sighed, moving to loop his arm around Shadow's elbow. "You know what? It's probably the yellow rain coat. Very off brand for me. Let's just get you inside and dried off, and maybe seeing me in all my unobstructed glory will jog your memory."
"Alright," Shadow said tentatively, allowing Sonic to drag him into the house.
Once inside, Sonic helped Shadow take off his cloak, hanging it up next to his jacket, before he kicked off his shoes and rushed off to fetch towels from the bathroom. When he returned, he found Shadow standing exactly where he'd left him, dripping water onto the rug in the entryway and looking rather confused. Sonic snorted quietly, offering Shadow a towel and nodding towards the living room.
"Take your shoes off and come inside. I promise not to bite," he joked, grin only widening at the slightly alarmed look Shadow shot him.
"I haven't been invited inside someone's home before, t my knowledge. Should I be wary of being bitten by others?" the hybrid asked, carefully rubbing the towel into his quills as he toed his shoes off.
"What? No," Sonic chuckled, waving a hand at Shadow, "It's just a joke. Man, you really were grown in a tube, weren't you?"
"…Was I?"
That gave Sonic pause, stopping to stare at Shadow who was staring right back with a perplexed look of his own. "Do you really not remember?" Shadow shook his head for the third time in what felt like as many minutes, and Sonic had to take a moment to truly take stock of the situation. Up until they were saving the planet, Shadow had been harsh, brash, confident, and violent. He'd been stilted in nearly every interaction he'd had with Sonic, and although he couldn't say for certain, he had a funny feeling that there would have been no way that Shadow would have let anyone touch him, let alone embrace him. But the Shadow now standing in front of him? He'd let Sonic hug him, drag him into his home, was calm and polite, and had just kicked off his skates without a thought when Sonic told him to. "This might be a more serious situation than I thought," he muttered to himself, turning his head to shout into the house, "TAILS!"
"Who or what is a Tails?" Shadow intoned quietly behind Sonic as a racket exploded from the direction of the garage and footsteps quickly approached the living room.
"I didn't break anything this time!" Tails called back as his footsteps approached. He appeared in the doorway of the living room, soot smeared across his cheek. "What's up?" he asked, the grin that had been on his face when he'd appeared slipping away upon seeing Shadow stood in their living room. "Shadow?!"
"Hmm. It would seem that found my way to the right place," Shadow commented idly, draping his borrowed towel around his neck.
"Where…How?!" Tails asked, turning to Sonic even as he gestured wildly at the hybrid.
"Your guess is as good as mine, little bro," Sonic offered with a shrug, "But I think something happened when he fell from orbit. He says he doesn't remember who I am, and he's acting…different."
"Different how?"
"Just…I mean, he's standing in our living room, calmly drying himself off with one of our towels. I would think that'd be a big enough indication that he's a bit off," Sonic snorted, cocking his hip and folding his arms over his chest.
"I mean…That could just be how he acts when he's not being brainwashed by a mad scientist, you know," Tails scoffed, mirroring Sonic's posture.
"…'He' is standing right here, you know. And is, quite frankly, finding this conversation a bit concerning."
At the quiet comment, both Sonic and Tails turned to Shadow with twin looks of apology on their faces.
"Sorry, Shads. Didn't mean to talk about you like you weren't here," Sonic offered, clapping his hands together with a wince.
"Yeah. Uhm, sorry about that. I just…okay. We'll approach this scientifically," Tails added, placing his hands on his hips, "So…We'll start with some simple questions. What do you remember?"
Shadow hummed quietly, shuffling his feet slightly. "Well…I remember the feeling of falling…and then not much? I think someone was carrying me? After that, the next thing I can recall is…walking."
"Walking? That's it?" Tails asked with a frown, tilting his head slightly.
"A lot of walking, yes. I've been walking for some time. And, I know this may sound somewhat odd, but something was compelling me to come here," Shadow finished, looking between the fox kit and Sonic.
"Huh," Tails stated bluntly, while Sonic just stared at Shadow with an odd look on his face. "That's….well, it is weird. But, maybe you feeling a compulsion to come here has something to do with the Chaos Emeralds? After all, if your last memory is falling before walking here, that was just after you and Sonic used the Chaos Emeralds to go super and save the planet. I think we'll need to talk to Knuckles about this."
"Save the planet…? Are we heroes?" Shadow murmured, seemingly mostly talking to himself, though Sonic did offer him a lopsided grin and a short nod.
"We sure are, Shads! Averted a whole global crisis," Sonic said happily, glancing quickly out the front window at the rain still pouring outside. "And if we do wanna go see Knuckles, we're gonna have to wait until after this storm passes. There's no way we're taking the Tornado out in this."
"Mmm, true," Tails sighed, tapping at his chin. "Well…in the meantime, then, Shadow?" The dark hedgehog tipped his head to show he was listening, "Do you mind coming with me to the garage? My work station is out there, and I have some equipment I can use to see if maybe your memory loss is due to hitting your head."
A short battery of basic tests later, with Sonic standing to the side and anxiously tapping his foot, offered the predicted results that Shadow had hit his head hard enough to cause memory loss. There didn't seem to be any other lasting damage, however, which was a bit of a relief to the three Mobians huddled around Tails' computer screen.
"So…what does this mean for me? In regards to my memory, that is," Shadow asked once Tails had read his findings off from the screen.
"Well," Tails hummed, rocking back in his chair, "Honestly, it's really hard to say. Brain trauma is funny that way. They could come back on their own over time, or they may never come back at all. Only time will tell. It is kind of weird, though, since your files indicted you had advanced healing abilities. I'm sort of surprised something like a bump on the head would lead to this, with that in mind."
"That's not overly reassuring, if I'm being honest," Shadow sighed, rubbing at the bridge of his nose.
"Hey, it's okay, Shads," Sonic said, stepping up to place a comforting hand on the hybrid's shoulder, "You can stay here as long as you need while we try to figure everything out. We'll help you."
"We will?"
"Well, I will," Sonic snorted, kicking Tails' chair so it rolled across the garage floor, earning a peel of laughter from the fox kit.
"Thank you, Sonic," Shadow breathed, placing his hand over Sonic's on his shoulder and offering the blue hedgehog a small smile, "I appreciate it."
Sonic couldn't help but be somewhat dumbfounded at the appearance of the smile on Shadows face, catching himself after a moment of staring and tearing his eyes away to watch Tails jump off his chair and push it back towards his desk. "Y-yeah! Sure, of course! Anytime." He cleared his throat after a moment, finally taking note of the clock on Tails' computer. "Oh, hey, why don't we go make some dinner?"
"Promise not to burn the kitchen down?" Tails quipped with a grin, dodging Sonic's half-hearted kick with a laugh.
"I can certainly help," Shadow offered, pausing for a moment as he rose from his seat, "Not in burning the kitchen down, but with cooking."
"Look at this guy," Sonic chuckled, wrapping an arm around Shadow's shoulders and directing him towards the door into the house, "He's got jokes!"
"I wasn't joking?"
"That makes it even funnier, Shads."
The two walked back into the house, a quiet, thoughtful hum leaving Shadow after a moment. "Why do you call me that?"
"Huh?" Sonic replied rather eloquently, turning his head slightly as they walked into the kitchen, "Call you what?"
"Shads."
"Oh! Uh…it's a nickname."
"A nickname?"
"Yeah. A shortened version of your name? I started calling you that pretty shortly after we first met," Sonic explained, picking dishes and utensils out of cupboards and drawers to start making pizza - one of the few foods he could manage without destroying the kitchen.
"I see," Shadow hummed, watching Sonic intently, "Do you have one?"
"A nickname? Not really. A few monikers that the press like to use, but my name is already pretty short, y'know? There's not much you can really do with 'Sonic'," he replied with an easy shrug, setting a canister of flour on the counter, "Why?"
"Just curiosity, I suppose. It's odd. I can remember basic things, like the alphabet, basic math, things like that. But, other concepts that seem rather straight forward, like 'nicknames' I don't have any recollection of. Is that strange?"
Sonic hummed in thought for a moment, measuring flour into a bowl, along with a handful of other dry ingredients. "I mean…No, I don't think so? As I gathered, you were born and raised on a spaceship, so I'm sure there are loads of things that you weren't taught because of that."
"A spaceship?" Shadow echoed, his ears perking forward in interest as Sonic passed him the bowl of ingredients, along with a spoon.
"Yeah," Sonic chuckled, pouring water into the bowl and quickly instructing Shadow to mix everything together, "Though, I guess less of a spaceship, and more of a space station? You can still see it sometimes, at night. Y'know…admittedly, we didn't know each other for very long before everything sort of went sideways, so I don't know a whole lot, but I can fill you in on the handful of information I do have?"
"Please!"
Sonic laughed lightly at Shadow's enthusiasm, dumping a can of tomato paste into a bowl, followed by a jar of sauce and a variety of spices. He racked his brain for all of the information that Rouge had dug up during and after the events on the ARK. "Okay. Well, like I said, you were born on a space station. It was called Space Colony ARK, and I say born, but I guess it was more like…grown? This scientist called Gerald made you to try and help cure his granddaughter. This was back in the 50's, I think? It's been, like, 50 years since then, and you were in stasis for that. Uh, but I'm getting ahead of myself, sorry. So, yeah, I don't really know how old you were when you became, like, conscious? But apparently you were schooled along side Gerald's granddaughter, and you guys were close. Her name was Maria, if I'm remembering right."
"Maria," Shadow repeated to himself quietly, his stirring slowing momentarily, before he eagerly looked back to Sonic. "What else?"
"Ah, well," Sonic hummed, setting the sauce he'd made aside to start chopping up some vegetables. He dithered for a moment, deciding that, for now, it was probably best to skip the rather tragic end of Maria and the way GUN raided the colony before putting Shadow on ice. And maybe the fact that Shadow was probably part alien. He cleared his throat, shrugging a bit. "A lot of the records are pretty scrambled and some of them were destroyed," not a lie, "so I'm not entirely sure what happened," a total lie, "but a few years passed with you living in the colony, and then you were frozen. I'm sorry to say that Gerald and Maria have both passed away since then, too."
"Oh," Shadow visibly wilted, turning his sad crimson gaze down into the dough in front of him, "So…Do I have any family left?"
Sonic paused in his chopping, reaching across the counter to give Shadow's arm a gentle squeeze. "I'm sorry, Shads. That I don't know for sure, but, I don't think so? There are no records that I've seen that would say so."
"…I see."
"B-but, y'know! That doesn't mean you can't build yourself a new family, right?! Tails and I were both orphans, and we're family now," Sonic's mouth ran before he could think about any of the words coming out of it, "And we've got all sorts of friends that are just like family to us, too. You can start building your own little found family, y'know? You can count Tails and I as friends, for sure."
Shadow lifted his gaze, fixing Sonic with a stare so hopeful that the blue hedgehog was pretty sure he would rather die than disappoint. "Really? But, you barely know me."
"I know what's important," Sonic said with a firm nod, "After you got unfrozen, some bad stuff happened, and you helped us defeat the bad guys and save Mobius. I know you have a good heart, and that's all I need."
"Thank you, Sonic," Shadow murmured, his voice thick with emotions that Sonic feared he may just break under if he wasn't careful.
"Of course, Shadow."
Dinner was a relatively uneventful affair after that. The pizza was only mildly burnt, as Sonic got too caught up teaching Shadow how to play 'Go Fish' while it was in the oven. The two had wound up squabbling over a card that Sonic had said he didn't have, but he had to, since Shadow held its pair in his hand and there were no more cards on the board. It was a playfully bitter discussion over dinner, with Tails cackling when he found the wayward card on the floor as they cleaned up the dishes, half tucked under the leg of the table.
"Just admit you were cheating."
"It's not cheating if I didn't even know it was on the floor."
"A likely story."
Tails snorted at the playful banter between the two hedgehogs, more than happy to see his brother back in the chipper spirits he was used to. He'd been worried ever since they'd come back home after the ARK, when Sonic only seemed to dip deeper and deeper into his own dismal thoughts. With Shadow back, it was like those months of wallowing hadn't even occurred.
"Well, I'm going to go back to working in the garage," Tails hummed, more than happy to leave Sonic and Shadow to their own devices to bond.
"Don't stay up too late, little bro," Sonic called as he wandered into the living room and flopped down onto the couch.
"I'll keep an eye on the time," Tails said, pausing in the hallway.
"That's a bold-faced lie if I ever heard one," Sonic snorted, shifting to grin at Tails over the back of the couch.
"Well…I'll try?"
"Not even close."
"I'll go to bed when you come bug me to?"
"The truth is all I ask for," Sonic laughed, sliding back down into a slouch.
Tails hummed, half hiding his grin as he watched Shadow move to sit next to his brother, and Sonic almost immediately flop over to lean into Shadow's space. It was somewhat odd to see Sonic being so physical with someone so quickly, but it was also refreshing. His older brother tended to keep himself well guarded, even around his closest friends. But there was just something about Shadow that made Sonic drop all those walls almost instantly. Perhaps it was the fact that Shadow had been the only creature that could keep up with him, or maybe it was the odd link they seemed to have now due to the chaos emeralds. Either way, Tails was just happy to see his brother happy, and quietly slipped away to the garage as Sonic began regaling Shadow with the merits of the 'Chaos in Space' movie series.
An hour and a half later found Sonic dozing off on the couch as the end credits of the movie rolled, listing to the side enough that he was leaning on Shadow's shoulder.
"Hey," the hybrid murmured, nudging Sonic gently, causing the other to jolt upright with a snort.
"I'm awake!" Sonic cried, before blue ears swiveled rapidly towards the deep, warm rumble of a chuckle that Shadow let out. Sonic blinked, surprised by the soft smile that greeted him as he turned his head to regard the hybrid curiously. In the time he'd known Shadow, he'd only ever seen variations of frowns, scowls and sneers on the other's face, but he had to admit that a smile truly suited him.
"You should, perhaps, think about going to bed? If you're falling asleep, I can only imagine that Tails is already passed out," Shadow hummed, tilting his head in the direction of the garage.
"Yeah," Sonic said slowly, taking a moment to commit the soft look on Shadow's face to memory before he shoved himself off the couch, stretching with a groan and a pop of his spine. "I'll go shuffle him off to bed. Uh," he paused, realizing they hadn't actually discussed where Shadow was going to sleep. "Sorry, it just occurred to me, but, uh…do you mind sleeping on the couch? We don't have a guest room, so it's the only extra space we have."
"I'm more than happy to accept any space you can make for me," Shadow replied with a small nod of his head.
"Cool! Great, uhm," Sonic stuttered, not particularly sure why he suddenly felt like there were butterflies swarming in his gut as Shadow continued to smile at him so warmly, "I'll bring some blankets and stuff back down for you in a minute, okay?"
"I'll be here."
"You sure will," Sonic chirped back, feeling stupid about the words as soon as they left his mouth, quickly exiting the room. He questioned himself quietly under his breath as he walked into the garage, unsure as to why seeing Shadow happy and calm made him feel so odd. The best way he could figure to describe it was 'fuzzy', and maybe 'fluttery'. Maybe it was because the last time he'd seen the dark hedgehog he was in pain and letting himself fall to his apparent demise, so perhaps seeing him so content filled Sonic with some sort of feeling of accomplishment? Though, he'd never really felt that way after saving any of his other friends. Maybe, then, it was the rush of relief knowing that Shadow had survived his fall, and Sonic hadn't truly failed in saving him? That had to be it, he thought to himself as he scooped an unconscious Tails into his arms and carried him up to his bedroom.
When he returned to the living room with spare blankets and pillows, he found Shadow placing the movie case back on the shelf with very bare hands. He froze, trying not to focus too hard on the way the red stripes on Shadows arms extended down to his middle finger, or the fact that there was only one golden inhibitor ring shining around his wrists instead of two, dropping his armload of bedding with a sharp cry of, "What're you doing?!"
Looking rather alarmed, Shadow turned to Sonic quickly, nearly dropping the DVD case he'd been holding. "Putting the movie away? Was that not the correct spot?"
"No, not that," Sonic hurried to say, scanning the room for Shadows gloves and swiftly scooping them up from where they lay on the coffee table, "Put these back on!"
Shadow took the gloves with a slight frown, tugging them on slowly. "May I ask as to why you reacted in such a way to the removal of my gloves? Should I not be touching things in your home without them?"
"No, it's not that," Sonic grumbled, rubbing at his flushed cheeks, "I guess that's just another thing you wouldn't have learned up on the ARK. Mobians don't generally show their hands or feet to people who they aren't close to. Usually close friends, family, or partners."
"Why is that?" Shadow asked, now looking even more confused, and perhaps slightly hurt. "Did you not say that I could count you and Tails as friends?"
"Y-yes! That's not-" Sonic grunted, pressing the heel of his palm to his forehead, "It's more because you've only been here for, like, a day. It's a trust thing, y'know? Not that I don't find it real flattering that you'd trust Tails and I so readily, but hand and feet pads are the softest spot on a Mobians body, so folks don't tend to just show 'em off, y'know? It's, like, a tender area? Private, I guess? You should really only be taking your gloves off around someone you really trust or have known for a long time."
"Oh! Oh, I see," Shadow hummed, rubbing his thumb absently against the palm of his hand, "It's a modesty thing. Like, ah, clothing for humans?"
"Yeah, exactly," Sonic huffed, dragging his fingers through his quills. "Sorry for reacting like that, by the way. It just sort of caught me off guard."
"It's alright. I'm sorry for my inappropriate behavior. Intentional or not. I only removed them as I thought we were preparing for sleep. I thought it might be more comfortable without them."
"No sweat, Shads. I just gotta remember that a lot of stuff is probably gonna be culture shock for you," Sonic hummed, clapping his hands together, "Anyway! I brought all the extra blankets we had upstairs. I don't know how cold it might get down here, and I know at least one of the blankets is deceptively scratchy, so I figured I may as well bring them all."
Shadow chuckled, moving around the couch to gather the blankets from the floor, draping them over the back of the couch. "Thank you. That was very thoughtful."
"I do my best." With that, Sonic bid Shadow good night and headed up to his room.
Come morning, Sonic woke to the sweet smell of pancakes filling the air. He rose drowsily, figuring Tails must have gotten up early to try his hand at making breakfast for their guest. The kit was becoming a deft hand at cooking, and Sonic was more than pleased, since that meant he didn't have to tempt the fates by using the stove as often. He trotted down the stairs, yawning and stretching his arms over his head as he entered the kitchen. "It smells great in here!"
"Thank you. I hope they taste as good as they smell."
Sonic paused in the doorway, fully not having expected to find Shadow wearing Sonic's rarely used red apron with a spatula in his hand and pancake batter smeared across his cheek. He smiled warmly at Sonic, and something about the simple, domestic sight made Sonic's cheeks heat and his heart give a wayward thump in his chest. He shook his head quickly and cleared his throat when he realized he was staring. "I'm sure they do," he quickly reassured, moving to sit at the kitchen table, watching as Shadow flipped a couple of finished pancakes onto a plate.
"I hope you don't mind that I took the liberty to make breakfast this morning," the hybrid commented, carefully pouring batter into the pan.
"Not at all," Sonic hummed, propping his chin in the palm of his hand, "Though, I am curious…how did you know where everything was? Or how to make pancakes, for that matter?"
"Ah," Shadow chuckled, turning to face Sonic with a lopsided smile, "I memorized the kitchen last night when we were making dinner. And I noticed a small shelf of cook books last night, as well. When I got up this morning I flipped through them until I found the relatively simple recipe for pancakes, which I knew you had all of the ingredients for. I thought it may be an appropriate gesture, as thanks, for allowing me to stay on your couch."
"That's real nice of you, Shads," Sonic said, "But, y'know, you don't have to try and repay us. I'm just happy to see you alive, honestly."
Shadow made a pleased little humming sound, nodding slightly as he turned back to the stove. "Even still. I wish to be of some use, even if it's as simple as making breakfast, while you're helping me. It feels…right. To help."
Sonic opened his mouth to reply, only to be interrupted as Tails came careening into the kitchen. "I told you not to try and make pancakes again, Sonic!" he all but shrieked, before he realized that the wrong colored hedgehog was stood at the stove. "…Oh." He glanced between the two, huffing quietly at Sonic's grin of amusement, before offering an apologetic smile to Shadows alarmed expression. "Sorry. The last time Sonic tried to make pancakes he somehow started a grease fire in the pan, and then tried to put it out with water."
"…How? There isn't even any grease used in this recipe?" Shadow asked, arching a brow at the blue hedgehog.
"Talent," was all Sonic had to say for himself with a shrug.
Breakfast went smoothly after that, aside from Tails insisting that Shadow try to add mint chips to his pancakes and the candy melting to the bottom of the pan, causing a rather hard mess to clean. Luckily, Shadow had made more than enough for the three of them before the burnt sugar fiasco, so they simply left the pan in the sink to soak. It was while Shadow was trying to scrub said pan clean after the trio had finished eating, Tails had gone off to the garage, and Sonic was putting the cleaned dishes away that an unexpected knock came from the door.
"I'll be right back, Shads," Sonic hummed, tossing the dish towel over his shoulder, "Why don't you just let that thing sit to soak some more?"
"It is a challenge I will not back down from," Shadow grunted, gritting his teeth as he scrapped the scouring pad against the metal.
"Whatever floats your boat, then," Sonic snorted, before trotting off to the front door as another knock sounded. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" When he opened the door he wasn't quite sure who he had been expecting, but it certainty wasn't Amy in a bright pink raincoat with a picnic basket over her arm.
"Good morning!" she chirped, pushing in past Sonic without waiting to be invited inside, "I thought I would come by with some muffins for breakfast! You still seemed pretty down yesterday when you left, so I figured I'd pop by to see if I couldn't brighten your spirits a bit more." She carefully set her basket down before taking off her raincoat and boots. "Where's Tails? I brought him some mint chocolate muffins!"
"Hiya, Amy," Sonic hummed, unable to help himself as he rolled his eyes, though it was fond. He shut the door and turned to her just as she picked her basket back up. "The kid's already in the garage tinkering away on whatever gizmo or gadget currently has his interest. Though, I think we'll save the muffins for later. We had a pretty big breakfast this morning."
"Oh? What did you have?" Amy asked, tilting her head curiously.
"Pancakes."
"And how burnt is the stovetop this time?"
"I'll have you know that I did not do the cooking, so the stove is perfectly intact. Though, I'm pretty sure we're going to need to replace the frying pan."
"I have good news for you," Shadows voice carried from the kitchen, before he appeared in the hallway with a triumphant little smirk, "You won't need to replace the pan."
Amy gaped at the appearance of the hybrid, her basket of muffins hitting the floor with a quiet crunch of wicker. "Shadow?!"
"Good morning," Shadow offered with a slight nod of his head.
"You…We thought you died!" she cried, hands clutched to her chest.
"I can understand where that miscommunication happened, but I assure you that I am very much alive."
"Wh-how?!"
Sonic stepped around Amy, snagging her fallen basket from the floor as he went, and stopping next to Shadow with a grin. "He showed up in the front yard when I was on my way home from your place yesterday."
"That doesn't explain how!" Amy retorted, taking a step forward, "You fell from orbit! There's no way you could have survived that."
"Well, he did," Sonic snorted, a light frown on his face, "He's standing right in front of you, isn't he?"
"No need to get defensive for me, Sonic," Shadow sighed, reaching up to snag the dish towel from the blue hedgehog's shoulder. "Truth be told," he offered to Amy, "I don't remember how I survived." He then turned and walked back into the kitchen, setting to work finishing off with the last of the dishes.
Amy quickly stepped to Sonic's side, grabbing his wrist to stop him just before he followed after Shadow into the kitchen. "Are you sure that's Shadow?" she hissed quietly, casting a quick glance into the kitchen as the hybrid put silverware away. "He's not some high tech robot sent by Eggman, is he?"
"Tails ran tests on him yesterday," Sonic grumbled, pulling his wrist free of Amy's grasp, "He's Shadow."
"He doesn't act like Shadow."
Sonic rolled his eyes, letting out a little puff of air. "He hit his head. He doesn't remember, like, anything. Pretty sure he wasn't even aware of his own name until Tails and I said it to him."
"Well…how did he know to come here? That's suspicious, isn't it?"
"Chaos, Amy," Sonic groaned, shifting his weight to pop his hip as he swung the basket of muffins idly, "Tails figures it has something to do with the chaos emeralds, and how Shadow and I went super right before he fell. He's thinking Shadow felt a pull to come here because we were connected by that experience or something. As soon as the storm lets up we're going to head up to Angel Island to talk to Knuckles and see if he might know more."
"Okay," Amy sighed, fidgeting slightly, "As long as you've done your due diligence."
"Of course. Besides, if he was gonna try and kill us, he had more than ample opportunity to do it last night," Sonic joked with an easy grin, snickering at the way Amy's face went red, before ducking into the kitchen.
"That seemed a bit uncalled for," Shadow murmured to Sonic as the hedgehog placed the basket on the counter next to where the hybrid was putting the last of the plates away into a cupboard.
"What was uncalled for?"
"She's just worried about you," Shadow sighed in place of an answer, gently closing the cupboard, "You shouldn't be so dismissive."
"Eh, she's just a worry wart, and it's fun to rile her up sometimes," Sonic shrugged, though his ears did tip back slightly, betraying the fact that he did feel some remorse for his relatively brisk exchange with Amy. "How did you know what we were talking about, anyway? We were whispering pretty quietly, I thought."
"Mm, apparently I have quite good hearing," Shadow offered, leaning back against the counter next to Sonic, "But, to get back to the point, you're acting as though I'll take some great offense to what she said or her doubts, but there's merit in it. I showed up on your front lawn in the middle of a storm, claiming to have no memory. You have to admit that is somewhat suspicious, even if we did save the world together. I can only assume, as a hero, you have plenty of enemies."
"Yeah, I guess," Sonic muttered, ears fully pinned back in contrition now that he was being scolded, "But it's not like you are here to hurt us or anything. Like I told Amy, you've already had plenty of opportunity, and Tails did run tests on you."
"Yes, but had events not played out the way they did, you put yourself and Tails in danger readily, and without a thought. Perhaps you should heed her words more readily," Shadow countered, frowning slightly as he glanced around the kitchen. "Speaking of, where did she go?"
Sonic blinked, surprised at not having realized sooner that Amy wasn't behind him anymore. Which was probably for the best, given what he and Shadow had just been discussing. "I don't know?" he grumbled, before cupping his hands around his mouth and shouting, "AMY!"
"Wow, there's no need to yell," Amy said, cupping her hands over her ears as she appeared in the kitchen doorway with Tails in tow, "I just went to go say hello to Tails and let him know that I brought muffins."
"And to interrogate me to find out what I thought about Shadow being here," Tails hummed, slipping into the kitchen to dig into the wicker basket and pull out his mint muffin.
"What?! Tails! I had that discussion with you in private," Amy grumbled, folding her arms over her chest.
"You didn't say it was a secret?" Tails countered, turning back to the pink hedgehog once he had his alarmingly green muffin in hand. "Besides, I think Shadow has every right to know that you find him suspicious."
"Wha-Well, I-" Amy scoffed, cheeks flushed in embarrassment as Sonic snickered and Tails offered her nothing but a small shrug. Shadow simply looked mildly uncomfortable at the exchange.
"Anyway, thanks for the muffin, Amy," Tails hummed, sidling back out of the kitchen without a backward glance. Which left the three hedgehogs watching each other awkwardly.
"Amy-" Shadow began only to be cut of swiftly by the pink hedgehog.
"No! No, look…you suddenly appearing when we all thought you died just caught me off guard, and I'm a bit on the over protective side for these two. I know that. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like that, so I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being so suspicious when I should really just be happy that you survived after helping to save us all," Amy said, looking repentant. "I hope you won't hold it against me, and we can start fresh?"
Shadow let out a short breath, an easy smile on his face as he stepped towards Amy. "I would like that, very much. Though you really didn't need to go to such lengths to apologize. I can appreciate you wanting to protect your friends."
Luckily, in Sonic's opinion, Amy's visit didn't last much longer. With amends made to Shadow, she stayed long enough to riffle through all of Sonic's cupboards, reminding him that he should really have more fruits and vegetables in his pantry, and to offer a tarot reading to Shadow, who though intrigued ultimately turned down the offer. Soon after, she noted that she had promised Vanilla and Cream a visit, so she bid them all farewell with another heartfelt apology to Shadow, before leaving with a cheery wave.
"She seems nice," Shadow hummed as Sonic finally shut the door once Amy was down the front path.
"Yeah, she's one of my best friends. But, she can also be a total pain," Sonic said with a sigh, offering the hybrid a crooked grin. "Sorry about all that. The last couple of days must be getting to be a bit much for you."
"Mmm, that's one way to put it," Shadow sighed, raking his fingers through his quills in a familiar gesture that made Sonic smile. Little things like that gave him no doubts that the Shadow standing in front of him was the same hedgehog that helped him push space colony ARK back into orbit. Even as well tempered and warm as Shadow was now, he was still pretty obviously not a real people person.
The next few days fell into something of a domestic routine, as the rain continued to fall outside. Shadow took it upon himself to make himself home in the kitchen, ensuring his hosts enjoyed three square meals a day. The cook book he had found had gained a permanent spot on the kitchen counter, propped up with a tiny cactus plant that Amy had gifted Sonic ages ago and somehow managed to thrive in their rather haphazard household. Sonic had also decided that his apron was officially Shadow's, since the hybrid had worn it many more times than Sonic could recall ever donning it.
Usually when the rain lasted this long, Sonic felt a nagging, itching urge to duck out of the house and run through the torrent. However, every time he glanced into the kitchen to find Shadow with his apron tied around his waist and a kitchen utensil in hand, he found the urge distinctly absent. For the first time, perhaps in his entire life, Sonic didn't feel the need to run.
Until, of course, life forced him to leave the house.
"I gotta go run some errands - we're starting to run low on a few things since I haven't really gone to the grocery store in a while," Sonic grumbled, hands on his hips as he stared into the pantry.
"I can accompany you, if you'd like?" Shadow offered, tilting his head back to watch Sonic from his place on the couch, book held aloft in his hand.
"Nah," Sonic waved a hand though the air, already in the hallway, slipping on his shoes and taking his rain coat from its hook, "I'll be back in a flash! You just relax. Finish the book you've been reading."
"If you're sure," Shadow agreed with a small nod, wincing slightly as Sonic opened the door to the downpour still going on outside. "Be careful, at least."
"I'm always careful, Shads," Sonic said with a grin, earning a snort from the hybrid.
"Somehow, I doubt that."
Sonic simply laughed at the little quip, his heart light at the easy banter he had with Shadow. It made him wonder if, given time, he would have managed to garner the same sort of rapport with the dark hedgehog if he hadn't lost his memory. "Make sure Tails doesn't burn the house down while I'm gone," he chirped, dashing out into the rain.
With that Shadow got up and shuffled to the door to shut it, before turning to the living room to do as Sonic suggested and continue with his book. He had chosen it the second day he'd been in the house and was finding it rather dry and difficult to get through. He was debating on putting it back and choosing a different book entirely, as a thick tome of Arthurian legends had caught his eye the day before, but he'd wanted to at least try to get through the first novel he'd chosen before delving into that.
Sonic was gone for barely five minutes when the thunder began.
"Sonic?!" Tails panicked voice suddenly sounded much closer than Shadow was anticipating. He glanced up from his lackluster novel just in time to watch an orange blur zip past the living room entrance towards the kitchen, before turning and going upstairs. Another rumble of thunder sounded in the distance, and the orange blur bolted into the living room, nearly crashing into Shadow, who had gotten up and moved to the hallway to see why Tails was looking for Sonic.
"Is everything all right?" the hybrid asked, catching Tails by the shoulders as the fox kit looked around, obviously anxious and jittery.
"Where's Sonic?" Tails asked instead of answering Shadow, flinching as lighting lit up the living room window.
"He just went to go run some errands. He said he would be back shortly. Tails, you're shaking. Please, what's the matter?" Shadow gently steered the fox kit towards the couch, taking note of the way Tails ears twitched and swiveled at the sounds of the storm outside.
"I…It's embarrassing," Tails murmured, flinching hard at another rumble of thunder.
"Ah," Shadow hummed, nodding slightly as he easily put two and two together, "Would you like a distraction from the storm?"
"I had a distraction," Tails muttered, letting Shadow sit him on the couch, "I'm working on a new upgrade for our communicators. I just," he cringed at another flash of lighting, "I don't like…thunder and lightning."
"They are both rather startling. I can see why they would bother you," Shadow said with a small nod, moving to the book shelf, pulling out the book of legends he had been eyeing before Tails ran through the house like a small orange whirlwind. If this wasn't a sign to give up on his previous novel, then he wasn't sure what was.
"But I'm almost nine. I'm too old for thunder and lightning to scare me," Tails grumped, folding his arms over his chest as he slumped into the couch, tails curled into his lap. "I've read books about what causes them and I understand what they are. They shouldn't bother me like this."
"I don't think you're being very fair to yourself about this," Shadow stated calmly, settling himself on the couch next to Tails, book in hand, "You're still young, and even if you weren't, you're allowed to be scared of things. Thunder is loud and lightning is dangerous. It makes sense to be frightened of them."
"Yeah, I guess," Tails sighed, ears flat as he dug his fingers into the fur of his namesake. "I just don't like feeling scared like this. I've fought robots and faced the end of the world! The sound of rapidly heating and cooling air shouldn't scare me like this."
"Again," Shadow sighed, reaching out to gently pat at Tail's shoulder, "You are allowed to be frightened. Sometimes things just scare us, without explanation. It's perfectly normal. I'm afraid of heights."
"You are? But you have air shoes that let you hover?" Tails said with a slight frown, "And you can use chaos control."
Shadow tilted his head with a mildly confused smile on his face. "Uh…I'm going to assume those are things that would keep me from falling?"
"Oh! Right. Yeah. Your shoes, you can channel chaos energy through them to skate over the ground and if you push enough energy into them you can sort of hover or fly. Chaos control is an ability you have that lets you teleport."
Shadow chuckled, arching an eyebrow at Tails in amusement. "I enjoy how you said all of this to me as though I have any idea as to what you're talking about. But, I do believe that's a lesson you can teach me another day," the hybrid held his chosen book of legends up, wiggling it slightly, "Would you like to join me for a story?"
Tails eyed the book, his cheeks flushed from being called out on his mini ramble about Shadows abilities. "Yeah, okay," he murmured with a slight nod, trying his best to ignore the rumble of thunder in the distance.
When Sonic arrived home, mildly short of breath from running through the rain to get home as fast as he could, knowing Tails would not be doing well with the sudden and loud turn the storm had taken, he was pleasantly surprised to be greeted with the sight of Shadow curled into the corner of the couch, book in hand and Tails tucked under his arm, fast asleep. Shadow glanced up as Sonic stepped through the door, quickly gesturing for the other hedgehog to be quiet. The hero gave a short nod, setting his bags down, toeing off his shoes and hanging up his jacket in quick succession as quietly as he could.
"How did you manage to get him to sleep?" Sonic whispered once he was free and clear of his rain gear, shuffling into the living room, "Usually the only way to calm him down during a thunder storm is huddling in a pillow fort until it passes."
Shadow chuckled, quietly, shrugging only one shoulder so he wouldn't disturb the fox kit. "We talked a little, but mostly I read him stories from a book of legends."
"Oh, I could see that working. You've got a nice timber for story telling," Sonic hummed absently, sitting on the opposite end of the couch, reaching out to gently pet Tails' fur, smiling as his brother snuffled in his sleep.
"Do you think so?"
Sonic looked up curiously at Shadow's quiet question, his heart skipping a beat at finding the hybrid with a light flush over his cheeks and a tiny smile on his lips. He swallowed thickly, forcing a grin onto his own face. "Of course. You've got a really nice voice, Shads."
A pleased hum was Sonic's only reply for a moment as Shadow's eyes drifted down to watch the snoozing kit. After a beat he let out a little breath, glancing back up at the blue hedgehog. "This felt…familiar. Like I've done something like this before."
Sonic's ears perked forward in curiosity, his head tilting slightly. "Oh? Do you think it's something that you maybe used to do with Maria? Like, read stories together?"
"Perhaps," Shadow hummed, gaze a bit distant as he spoke, as if he were reliving a memory in his mind, "More like…comforting each other while afraid? It's vague." He grunted quietly, dipping his head, light frown on his face. "I'm sorry. I promise, I am trying to remember. Nothing seems to be very forthcoming, though."
"Hey, hey," Sonic cooed, reaching past Tails to rest a hand on Shadow's knee, "There's no rush. Tails and I are more than happy to have you for as long as you need. As long as you don't mind living on our couch. Besides, it's only been, like, a week. Not exactly a hardship, y'know?"
"It is surprisingly comfortable for being so well worn," the hybrid said with a small nod, only to shake his head a moment later. He lifted a hand to place it over Sonic's, looking contrite as he faced the hero of Mobius. "I just feel like I'm intruding, and not offering enough for taking up space in your home. If I could recover my memory faster, I would be able to get out of your quills."
"Well, that's the biggest load of bologna I've ever heard," Sonic hissed with a snort, "I invited you in, and I never expected anything from you. The fact that you've taken over the kitchen and make sure Tails and I get the most amazing meals that stovetop has ever seen is above and beyond anything I could've asked for. Don't push yourself, Shads. Seriously. You're totally fine."
Both hedgehogs glanced down as Tails grumbled something in his sleep, pressing his face into Shadow's fur with a soft whine. His tails twitched in his sleep, earning a soft laugh from Sonic. He rose and gently picked the kit up from the couch, rubbing his back as he groaned in his sleep. "I'm going to take him up to his room. Would you mind putting the groceries away while I do?"
"Of course," Shadow nodded, setting aside the book of legends to rise from the couch as well. He quickly stopped Sonic before he could get too far with a hand on his arm, flushing slightly at the look of concern Sonic gave him. "I just wanted to say…thank you. For your kindness, and your understanding. I know you knew me, before, and we were allies, but you didn't need to open your home to me. I appreciate it. Truly."
Sonic had to bite his tongue to resist his usual habit of retorting to sincerity with a quippy remark. He knew that doing so would only serve to push Shadow away, and that was truly the last thing he wanted to do. Instead he offered the hybrid a smile, hoisting Tails up on his hip a little as the kit began to slowly slip in his grip. "Anytime, Shadow. I mean it," he said simply, finally turning to take Tails upstairs.
While upstairs, Sonic let his mind wander as he tucked Tails into bed. The heartfelt comments from Shadow wanting to do more for Sonic and Tails made the blue hedgehog realize he could do more for Shadow. His mind wandered to the inhibitor ring missing from Shadows wrist, and the fact that he knew exactly where it was, and where it had been for quite some time.
He wandered into his bedroom once he'd finished tucking Tails into bed, his eyes instantly landing on his bedside table. He bit his lip as he walked over to it, slowly pulling the drawer out to reveal the shining gold band resting inside. Sonic had pulled it free of Shadow's wrist when he'd made a grab for the falling hybrid, nearly dropping it when he'd scrambled to try again for Shadow's hand. When Shadow had fallen too far out of reach and Sonic knew he had to get back onto the ARK or risk falling as well, he'd tucked it into his quills. He'd offered it to Rouge when he'd made it back, but she'd pushed it back into his hands with a shake of her head. Looking back on it, he was grateful to her for letting him keep it. Gently, he pulled it from its resting place and tucked it into his quills before heading back downstairs.
Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs he found the groceries gone from the hallway, presumably stored safely away in their proper places, and Shadow curled up in the corner of the couch again with the book of legends back in his hand.
"It's a pretty good book, huh?" Sonic commented idly as he rounded the couch, sitting himself on the opposite end to Shadow, "It's one of my favorites."
The hybrid looked up, a warm smile on his face. "It's quite good. I'm enjoying the stories about Sir Lancelot."
"Glad to hear it," Sonic hummed, his own smile not quite reaching his eyes as he dug into his quills for the ring. "Hey, uhm…do you mind if I talk to you?"
"Of course," Shadow said, snapping the book shut and giving Sonic his undivided attention without hesitation, "What is it?"
"First, thanks for putting away the groceries. And, uhm, second," he offered the inhibitor ring to Shadow, who simply looked confused as he reached out for it.
"Is this mine?"
"Yeah. It's a matching set of four. Uhm, I accidentally took it when I tried to grab you before you fell. I grabbed it instead of your wrist," Sonic muttered, watching as Shadow flipped it over in his hands, before carefully securing it around his wrist. "Do you remember what they are?"
"I feel like they're important? But not much more than that," Shadow offered, twisting his wrist this way and that, his gaze lifting to Sonic's after a beat. "What are they?"
"Inhibitor rings," Sonic stated, turning sideways and bringing his knee up onto the couch so he could fully face Shadow, "According to the files, from what I can remember, the guy who created you, Gerald, he made you with too much chaos energy - that's this energy that flows through pretty much everything on Mobius in small doses. If something has too much chaos energy, it can become unstable. In your case, you have so much that it could destroy you if you aren't careful. The inhibitor rings help to regulate it and keep you stable."
"I see," Shadow murmured, eyes drawn back down to the glinting gold around his wrists. He flipped his hand back and forth, a slight frown on his muzzle. "If you thought I was dead, and they're just some sort of dampener, why did you keep it?"
"Because it was all I had left of you," Sonic admitted quietly, tipping his head to lean it against the back of the couch, watching Shadow fiddle with the newly reacquired ring. "We didn't know each other for very long, but you were the very first person who could keep up with me step for step and blow for blow. I don't think you thought much of it at the time, but it was really pretty eye opening to me. Because of that, you became important to me, and when I couldn't save you, well…Having something, even just one of your inhibitor rings, really helped me get through some stuff."
"Sonic," Shadow's voice was hushed as he spoke, while reaching a hand out towards the other.
"Heh, yeah," Sonic suddenly cleared his throat, turning his head away and glancing out the window. "Oh, hey," he said quickly, rising from the couch and stretching his arms over his head, trying to ignore the way Shadow was looking at him, "it looks like the rain finally stopped. We should be able to go up to Angel Island tomorrow." He chanced the briefest of glances at Shadow, his heart lurching in his chest at the look on the other's face. Quickly he turned on his heel, hoping Shadow didn't notice the flush on his cheeks. "I bought ingredients for chili dogs, so why don't I go start working on dinner while you read some more? I've got a wicked awesome recipe that I think you'll love," Sonic said quickly, maneuvering around the couch and exiting the room as quickly as possible. Feelings weren't really his forte, let alone talking about them. He didn't see the way the hybrid fiddled with his returned ring, clutching it to his chest as Sonic disappeared into the kitchen.
Shadow let the conversation rest, deciding that, based on Sonic's reaction it would probably be best to let the blue hedgehog come to him, rather than push anything. It was pretty obvious that his death had impacted Sonic quite a bit, even if it turned out to be temporary. His current lack of memories probably wasn't very helpful, either. He wondered idly just how important he really was to the other before everything that had happened. He sighed quietly, turning his attention back to his book as Sonic had suggested until he was eventually called into the kitchen for dinner.
The next day found the trio heading into the small hangar Sonic and Tails had in their backyard, which housed the Tornado. Tails immediately ran to begin doing pre flight checks of the plane to ensure everything would be in full working order for their flight, while Sonic stood back with a pleased little smile on his face as he watched the fox kit work. Meanwhile, Shadow stared up at the plane as though it was the harbinger of his doom.
It took a few solid minutes before Sonic clued in to Shadow's trepidation, and even at that it was only because the hybrid had begun to shake slightly. He blinked in surprise, turning to Shadow quickly, hands in the air but not quite sure what to do with them. "Shadow? Hey, what's up? You okay?"
Shadow shook his head slightly, wringing his hands in front of himself hard enough for the leather of his gloves to squeak slightly. "I didn't realize we would need to fly to Angel Island."
"Well…yeah? What did you think I meant when I said we'd need to go 'up'? And the fact that we had to wait for the rain to stop?"
"That's a perfectly common phrase people use when traveling anywhere!" Shadow snapped, his ears pinning back as he continued to stare up at the plane, "People say they are travelling 'up' in a general sense, unless they're definitively going south. I just assumed that was the case! And I thought, perhaps, you just didn't like traveling in the rain. That's perfectly feasible!"
"Woah there, hey," Sonic tried to sooth, placing his hand gently on Shadow's shoulder frowning slightly as the hybrid flinched and hunched in on himself. "It's perfectly safe. Tails and I fly the Tornado all the time. You can even sit in the second seat instead of riding on the wing, okay?"
"On the wing?!" Shadow turned wide eyes on Sonic, his pupils barely pinpricks as his breath started to come in little gasps.
"Woah!" Sonic raised his hands in a placating gesture, "I said you could sit in the plane! Plus, you have your air shoes if anything goes wonky. You're totally safe, Shadow." He frowned when all he got in response to his reassurance was Shadow's gaze snapping back to the plane, the hybrid obviously close to a full blown panic attack.
"Oh yeah," Tails drawled, popping up from under the plane, a smear of oil adorning his cheek, "I forgot he said he was afraid of heights."
"What?!" Sonic turned an accusatory glare at Tails, "When was this?!"
"Uh…Yesterday? While you were out running errands. He told me everyone was allowed to be afraid of things when I said I was too old to be afraid of thunder, and that he was afraid of heights," Tails offered, looking a bit sheepish. "I kind of had other things on my mind at the time, so I sort of forgot."
"Okay, setting aside the fact that Shadow apparently remembered something about himself, we need to calm him down," Sonic said, waving a hand through the air and turning his attention back to the panicking hedgehog next to him. "Let's get him outside. Maybe not being directly in front of the plane will help."
"Right," Tails said with a quick nod, moving forward and waving his arms in the air to get Shadow's attention. It seemed to work well enough, as Shadow's gaze settled on him after a moment. Sonic took the opportunity to duck behind the hybrid and grab his shoulders, quickly turning him and steering him out of the hangar before he could properly register what was going on.
Once outside Shadow's shoulder's immediately dropped, his posture becoming more embarrassed than stressed out as his tail dipped and he ducked his head slightly. "I-I'm sorry," he murmured, half covering his face with a hand, his muzzle flushing, "I don't know what came over me. That was entirely uncalled for."
"It's totally okay, Shads. No worries," Sonic reassured, moving to stand in front of Shadow, pulling his hands away from his face. "Like you said to Tails, everyone is allowed to be afraid. Admittedly, it would've been nice if I'd known you were afraid of heights so I could've warned you properly, but we'll blame that on Tails."
"Hey!"
"You had an entire day to remember and tell me. Don't act like this isn't a little bit on you."
"That's fair, I guess…"
Sonic rolled his eyes with a chuckle, nodding his head towards the hangar. "Go finish up getting the Tornado ready. I'll stay out here with Shadow."
"Okay," Tails sighed, pausing as he passed by the embarrassed hedgehog, "Sorry for not warning you yesterday."
"It's alright. You were distracted by the storm. It's understandable," Shadow murmured, offering Tails a wobbly little smile.
With that, Tails dashed back into the hangar, leaving Sonic holding Shadow's hands and standing somewhat awkwardly in the yard. He chewed on his lip for a moment, trying to figure out what he could do to make Shadow feel better when the hybrid turned his hands in Sonics to return his grip. The blue hedgehog blinked in surprise, watching Shadow as the hybrid squirmed slightly under his scrutiny.
"I truly am sorry for how I reacted," Shadow lamented, gaze firmly on the ground, "I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."
"Seriously, it's totally fine," Sonic said with a light little laugh, "That was pretty low on the scale of negative reactions I've had to deal with."
"Still," Shadow murmured, giving Sonic's hands a little squeeze, "Perhaps you could explain to me how my shoes can apparently help me? That may help ease my mind, if I know how they're supposed to work."
"Oh, jeez," Sonic snorted quietly, pulling one of his hands free to rub at his quills absently, "That's gonna be a bit of a tough one, Shads. I only kinda know how they work, from those files I told you about? Uh…The best explanation I can really give you is that you push chaos energy into them, and they convert it into a sort of burst of air? When you use them it kinda of looks like you're skating on air."
"Tails mentioned something about that," Shadow murmured, his other hand sliding free of Sonic's as he looked down at his feet. "But, how do I do that?"
Sonic groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. "Asking all the hard questions today, aren't ya?" He sighed, tilting his head to stare into the sky, humming and hawing for a minute, finally looking back to Shadow after a beat, his muzzle scrunched in what almost appeared to be discomfort. "First you gotta kinda…feel the energy inside you?" he tried to explain, placing a hand over his chest, "Once you've got it, you just…push it to where you want it to go with, like, your mind? Mine's usually centered around my legs so I can run fast." He grunted, dropping his arms to his sides, offering Shadow an apologetic smile. "I'm not real good at explaining, sorry. I've never had to think really about it before. It just sort of happens."
Shadow screwed up his nose at the explanation, letting out a disgruntled breath. "That's not very helpful," he grumbled, earning a short laugh from Sonic.
"Yeah, I know. Sorry, again."
"It's fine, I just…that's very vague," the hybrid sighed, closing his eyes and rolling his shoulders back, "But I'll try." He frowned in concentration as he lifted a hand to rest over his chest, where Sonic had placed his own hand when trying his best to explain.
"That's it," he heard Sonic's voice approach, the blue hedgehogs warmth encroaching into his space, a shiver zipping up his spine at the sudden proximity, "It's kinda like feeling when someone is close by, but you can't see them. But with energy, inside you. Ehhhh, that's a terrible analogy."
Shadow couldn't help but chuckle at Sonic half babbling to himself, tilting his head in the direction he believed the hedgehog to be, while trying to ignore the way his heart seemed to thrum at the other's proximity. "If you're trying to be helpful, it's not really working."
"Fine, fine, I'll shut up. But don't say I didn't try."
"Noted," the hybrid snorted, shifting his focus inwards to try and feel what Sonic was talking about. He thought that, perhaps, he could sense what Sonic meant, an odd sort of fuzzy warm feeling in the center of his chest. When he tried to reach for it, it almost felt like it reacted to him, reaching back and pulling him in. Suddenly, what had started off feeling so small and warm was vast and overwhelming, like it was trying to consume him. He struggled against it, his face twisting in discomfort while he mentally grappled with the energy that threatened to devour him. It took mere moments in the physical world, but in Shadow's mind it felt like an eternity before he managed to wrangle the energy and bend it to his will. He pushed it, as Sonic had instructed, until it felt like something inside him snapped into place, his eyes opening with a sharp gasp.
"Heyyy! Shadow! Look at you!" Sonic's voice almost sounded garbled to his ears as he readjusted his focus to the physical world, squinting slightly in the bright sunlight.
"Wh-what?" Shadow grunted intelligently, blinking owlishly at Sonic as the other grinned widely at him.
"Your skates! You did it," Sonic said, pointing down to Shadows shoes, which were lifting the hybrid a few inches from the ground.
"Oh…oh!" Shadow allowed a grin to slowly creep over his muzzle, his tail wagging happily as he shifted back and forth on his shoes, watching as little sparks of red energy jumped from them, "I did it!" He experimented briefly with gliding across the grass, chewing on his lip as he figured out how to shift his feet to go in different directions, before seeing just how much energy it took to levitate himself higher into the air. He let out a joyous little laugh as he rose a foot or so up, doing a short pirouette in the air and turning a brilliant grin towards Sonic. "This is amazing!"
Although Sonic was elated for Shadow, he was truly more mesmerized by how light and carefree Shadow looked in those moments. Free of the weight of his promise to Maria and all of what had happened on the ARK, Sonic could see the kind of hedgehog Shadow could have been if GUN hadn't interfered. Under his usual gruff, cold exterior, Sonic now knew that Shadow had a soft, warm heart full of wonder. It made his own heart bleed, knowing that one day when Shadow inevitably got his memories back that all of this would drown in all of the darkness that had so unfairly been dumped onto him. He felt his smile slowly slip from his lips as he watched Shadow practically dance through the air, now perfectly understanding as to why Maria sacrificed herself for this hedgehog. He deserved to be saved.
"Sonic?" Shadow's voice brought Sonic out of his reverie, quickly shaking his head and plastering his trademark grin on his face.
"Sorry! Lost in my own head there for a sec," he laughed, propping his hands on his hips and watching as Shadow touched back down onto the ground, "So…you feeling better about flying now that you can work your shoes?"
"I…yes, I think so," the hybrid hummed after pausing to think for a moment, offering a short nod and a hesitant smile. "Though, I do still think I would prefer to sit in the second seat. But, please tell me it won't be a long flight? It doesn't exactly give me the warmest feeling, knowing you'll be riding on the wing."
"Hey, don't sweat it! It's how I always ride on the Tornado. It's more fun, in my opinion," Sonic said with an easy laugh, sliding an arm around Shadows shoulders and directing him back towards the hangar, "It's not too bad. A couple of hours, I think, at most. It's a floating island, so it moves around a bit. Sometimes the trip is longer the others, but Tails has a tracker thingy that he made with Knuckles, so he can always find it pretty easily."
With that, the trio embarked upon the Tornado towards Angel Island. For the most part Shadow clung to the seat belts strapped over his shoulders and kept his eyes shut, but sometimes Sonic would glance back and find him staring off in awe at mountains or a lake, eyes practically sparkling as he took in the sights. It made Sonic's heart do funny little summersaults in his chest, and he was really beginning to worry about what that meant.
Landing on Angel Island was always a little bit precarious, as even though Knuckles knew full well what the Tornado looked like by now, Sonic and Tails could never really be sure whether the echidna would lob a boulder at them or not. His mood and level of friendliness were always a bit tenuous at best, especially when he was actively guarding the master emerald. Today, however, seemed to be a good day, as Tails brought the plane down onto the surface of the island without any issue. Once parked, Sonic hoped down from the wing, grinning as he was greeted by a small gaggle of chaos clamoring for his attention.
"Hey, hey! There's plenty of me to go around," Sonic laughed, doing a quick little round of head pats while Shadow and Tails disembarked from the plane.
"And what are these creatures?" Shadow asked as he approached Sonic and the chaos, a light frown on his face as all but one of them scampered back to the brush at the sound of his voice.
"Aww, don't take them running off too personally. They're only used to a small handful of folks who visit the island, so they're a bit shy," Sonic reassured at seeing the look on Shadows face, offering him the one chao he had been holding, and therefor hadn't run away, "They're chaos! Only a few still live on the island, with our friend Knuckles. He takes care of the master emerald, and knows the most about chaos energy, since his clan has looked after this place for, like, forever. If we're lucky, he might know why you felt drawn to me and maybe the chaos energy around here will help you heal, and maybe with getting your memories back."
Shadow gave a small nod of understanding, eyeing the chao in Sonic's hands. It was cute, by all rights, its tiny pink wings flapping idly as it eyed the hybrid in curiosity. Tentatively, Shadow offered his own hand to the little creature, somewhat startled as it hopped onto his palm and let out a contented sounding little chirrup.
"Aww, it likes you," Tails giggled from Shadows right, having just finished up with securing the Tornado.
"It's kinda rare for them to warm up to someone new so fast," Sonic commented idly, though he couldn't help the smile on his face as he watched Shadow carefully bring the little chao to his chest and cradle it as if it were fragile. In return, the chao snuggled into the hybrids chest fur, causing Shadow to let out the most adorable sound of surprise Sonic was certain he'd ever heard. As a matter of fact, the blue hedgehog hadn't even realized he was openly staring and zoning out until Shadow cleared his throat and Tails let out a knowing little snort next to him.
"Shouldn't we go find your friend?" Shadow asked, arching an eyebrow at Sonic.
"Oh! Yeah, right," Sonic cleared his throat and promptly turned on his heel to march into the forest, hoping that Shadow didn't notice the way his muzzle had flushed at being caught. "I'm actually surprised Knux hasn't come busting through the woods to find us already. Usually he's pretty on top of visitors."
The trio trapsed through the woods, the little gaggle of chaos following them like little ducklings, while the one in Shadows hands fell asleep against his chest. When they finally broke through the tree line near the shrine of the master emerald they were surprised to find someone standing with Knuckles on the main platform. Namely, one Rouge the bat, currently arguing with the guardian over something the trio couldn't hear from where they stood.
"Oh man," Sonic said with a grin, turning to carefully take the snoozing chao from Shadow's grip, much to the hybrid's confusion. "Just trust me," he said as his only explanation, before turning towards the platform again. "Hey, Rouge!" he shouted, letting the awake and now disgruntled chao jump from his hands as he shouted, "Come see who I found!"
In unison the two on the platform turned, Knuckles obviously scowling, while Rouge's hands went to her face in surprise, before she, quite literally, came flying off the platform. "Shadow! You're alive!" Shadow grunted as the bat collided with his chest, wrapping his arms around her instinctually and sliding one of his feet back to keep them balanced. He shot Sonic a somewhat alarmed look, before he was pushed back by the shoulders and held at arms length by Rouge, his ears pinning back as she scrutinized him, picking at his quills and brushing dirt from his fur. "I can't believe it! And you didn't come find me first? What made you go to see Blue instead? That's so rude," she ranted at him, finally letting him go and stepping back once she was satisfied.
"Well, we were hoping that, perhaps, Knuckles could answer that last question," Shadow offered with a bit of a shrug, casting another pleading glance at Sonic, who simply grinned at him.
"That repugnant red ruffian? Why would he know why you went off to Sonic instead of finding me?" Rouge asked, tilting her head with her hands on her hips, narrowing her eyes at Shadow slightly, "I assume it has something to do with the emeralds?"
"We don't really know yet," Tails piped up, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet as Rouge turned her attention to him, "It's my going theory, at any rate. Shadow lost his memory, and since there's a few month gap between him falling to Mobius and reappearing in our yard, there's a lot of questions that we're hoping to start answering."
"Lost his memory…?" Rouge turned back to Shadow who took a tentative step back when her attention came back to him, "So, you don't remember who I am?"
"My apologies," Shadow said, shaking his head slightly, "but, no."
"Oh," Rouge's ears drooped slightly for a moment, before she let out a breath and shrugged, "Well, I suppose it can't be helped." She paused, grinning a little as she quirked a brow at Sonic, "Wait…does that mean he's all soft and squishy now?" she gasped, "Is that why he let me hug him?!"
"Ha, yeah," Sonic snorted, only offering a smirk at Shadow's questioning glance.
"Oh, sugar," Rouge cooed at Shadow, squeezing his cheeks slightly, much to his obvious chagrin, "You're gonna be so pissed off at everyone when you get your memories back."
"And what makes you say that?" the hybrid asked, though his words were slightly garbled by the way his face was being held.
"Oh, just trust me on that one," Rouge giggled, finally letting go of Shadow's face and turning around with a huff when Knuckles cleared his throat loudly from the stairs leading up to the emerald's platform.
"What, pray tell, are you all doing on my island? And how did the black hedgehog survive plummeting back to the surface of the planet?"
"Real tactful, Knux," Sonic snorted, swagger in his step as he approached the echidna, the rest following shortly thereafter, "We came to talk to you about Shadow. He showed up in my yard unannounced. Wanted to see if you had any insight as to why."
Knuckles scrunched his nose up as Sonic approached, his gaze moving to the hybrid in question, eyes narrowing. "And why would I know anything about that? Did I not just question as to how he survived?"
"That's not really the question Sonic meant to ask," Tails interjected, jogging up the stairs to stand between his brother and the hot headed echidna, "Shadow lost his memory, and said he felt drawn to our house. I have a theory that it was because of their chaos energy, and their time spent in their super forms right before Shadow fell. We wanted to see if you could maybe confirm if that was the case, and if there was anything else you may think could be going on? Like, maybe if the master emerald was acting odd, or perhaps there's some underlying threat that made Chaos push Shadow to Sonic so they could work together to defeat it…"
Knuckles snorted, rolling his shoulders, arms folded across his chest. "There has been no noticeable disturbance in the flow of chaos to or around the master emerald. And your theory sounds feasible, and so the most likely explanation."
"Insightful as always," Sonic sighed, shaking his head as Knuckles shot him an incredulous look.
"Did I not just answer the questions the fox posed to me?! What more do you want?"
"Well, to be honest, I think we were hoping for a little more information or speculation," Tails muttered to the side, jumping slightly and ducking behind Shadow at the glare Knuckles shot him. "It's just, y'know, you're the one who knows the most about chaos energy and how it works!"
Knuckles sighed, letting his arms drop to his sides. "Unfortunately, there is nothing more I can offer. As I said, there have been no disruptions to the master emeralds energy. And it is, indeed, most likely that their time spent in super form has caused some form of bond to be created between Sonic and the black hedgehog. Their energies are likely linked because of their shared use of the emeralds, and so may feel compelled to seek each other out. As much as I know about the emeralds, there are still many more mysteries about them that I cannot answer."
"So, we came all this way for nothing?" Shadow asked, tone contrite as his shoulders slumped.
With another heavy sigh, Knuckles gestured for the hybrid to approach. "Not nothing. Perhaps communing with the emerald will aid you in the return of your memories."
"Oh sure, I ask to touch it and it's a big hullabaloo, but you just offer it to him without a second thought," Rouge quietly grumped as she followed Shadow up the rest of the stairs, put upon pout on her face.
"That is because if I let you near it you will try to steal it, despite its size in relation to you," the echidna snarked over his shoulder as he lead the way up to the emerald.
"Rude," Rouge grumbled, Sonic snickering next to her.
"Can't say he doesn't have you pegged, Rouge."
"Shut it, Blue."
"I do not know why I put up with the lot of you sometimes," Knuckles sighed, pausing just before the emerald. He turned to Shadow, gesturing for him to sit, "Sit here and close your eyes. Try to relax and focus your energy on the emerald. If chaos so sees it fit to do so, it will help you with your memories. The servers are the seven Chaos. Chaos is power… Power enriched by the heart. The controller is the one that unifies the Chaos." With that Knuckles turned from the emerald and shooed Rouge, Sonic and Tails away with a frown. "Leave him be. You three are distracting."
"Aww, you find me distracting, Red?" Rouge bat her lashes at the echidna, causing him to roll his eyes with a sigh.
"Banished, all of you."
Sonic snorted at their bickering, sauntering off to lean against a wall far enough away from Shadow that he wouldn't be immediately distracting, while remaining within his line of sight. Tails had disappeared almost immediately, so Sonic could only assume that he'd wandered off to poke around the temple a bit while Knuckles was preoccupied with Rouge, curious kid that he was. He watched as Rouge and Knuckles began to walk off as well, still exchanging barbs all the while, before he gaze was caught by slight movement in Shadow's direction. Turning his head he arched a brow as the hybrid quickly whipped his face back towards the emerald, his shoulders hunching slightly. Glancing back the way his friends had disappeared to ensure the two were gone to avoid getting scolded, he meandered over to Shadow, settling himself down next to the ebony hedgehog.
"What's up, Shads?"
"The sky?" the hybrid offered, eyes closed and chin tilted up towards the emerald.
"Haha, you're so funny," Sonic scoffed quietly, "I saw you looking at me instead of 'communing'. Something bugging you?"
Shadow let out a breath, opening his eyes to stare somewhat forlornly at the emerald. "I noticed that when we arrived here and met your friends your demeanor…changed. You were more dismissive and confrontational. I couldn't help but be curious as to why."
"Did it?" Sonic blinked, turning to look up at the emerald as well, rubbing absently at his quills. "Habit, probably? The way I am at home and with Tails, that's…I'm the hero of Mobius, y'know? My friends expect me to act a certain way, and so do the people of Mobius. When I leave the house, I guess I just sort of slip into that persona without realizing."
"So, you don't feel like you can be yourself around your friends?"
"I didn't say that."
"You just did. Quite literally."
Sonic let out a puff of frustrated air, glaring at the emerald. "The way I am in public and the way I am at home are both me. They're just different sides of who I am. Being more defensive when I'm out is a bit of a necessity. Robotnik could attack anywhere at anytime, so I guess I just sort of adapted to that over the years."
"Robotnik…is that the 'Eggman' you and Amy were talking about last week?"
"Yeah."
"…Is he the one we saved the world from?"
"That's…complicated."
"More complicated than trying to get a rock to speak to me?"
"Believe it or not, Shads? Yeah."
"I see," Shadow sighed, lifting a hand to rub at his forehead. "I feel like all of this would make more sense if I could just remember."
"Hey, like I keep saying, Shads, there's no rush," Sonic hummed, leaning in to brush his shoulder against Shadows. "Sorry if my attitude was off putting to you. It'll probably happen again."
At that Shadow snorted a quiet laugh, nudging Sonic's shoulder back with his own. "Good to know you'll at least be consistent."
"Eh, that's debatable," Sonic said flippantly, an easy grin spreading across his face at the way Shadow laughed at his comment, admiring the way his tan muzzle darkened with an amused flush in his cheeks. He idly wondered how infrequently he'd get to see that sight once Shadow got his memories back.
"Do I have something on my face?"
"Huh? Oh!" Sonic cleared his throat, turning his attention back to the emerald, hoping his own blush wasn't too obvious, "Sorry. Zoned out."
"Mhmm," Shadow hummed, warm little smile on his face at catching the way Sonic's face lit up. "Do you think we should thank Knuckles and go? I don't think his rock is going to speak to me."
"Hey, now," Sonic said, pushing off the ground to shove himself back up onto his feet, "You've been chatting with me and not giving communing with 'the rock' a fair shake. At least try properly for a few minutes before we go annoying the shit out of Knux again. I'll even go back to sitting in the corner." He turned to go back to the spot he'd picked previously, before pausing and glancing back at Shadow, "Try focusing on it like you did with your own energy earlier, only, y'know…in front of you instead of inside. It's the same thing, basically."
"I will do my best."
"You always do, Shads."
With that Sonic wandered back to his spot against the wall, while Shadow turned his attention to the emerald, closing his eyes and truly trying to focus instead of being distracted by the blue hedgehog at his back. Unfortunately, however, other thoughts began to worm their way into the forefront of his mind instead. Namely the way Rouge had told him he'd be angry at everyone once he had his memories back, combined with an idle comment Sonic had made when he'd first arrived about how him being calm in their living room was 'different'. He felt compelled to speculate about the kind of person he was before he'd hit his head. Obviously he had friends, with how eager Sonic was to help him and Rouge's enthusiastic greeting of him, but Amy had been suspicious, and Knuckles indifferent. He was fairly certain that Tails based his reaction off of how Sonic acted around him, since the fox quite obviously idolized his brother. True as it was that it was a rather small sample size, he couldn't help but feel unease.
Minutes passed with Shadow too preoccupied with his troubled thoughts to even try to connect with the emerald. Finally, he had to admit defeat and let out a frustrated breath, opening his eyes to give the softly glowing gem stone a soft glare. "This isn't going anywhere," he grumbled, turning to find Sonic tossing a stone idly up into the air and catching it repeatedly.
"Really? Still no luck?"
"No. I'm afraid my thoughts are otherwise occupied so I'm finding it difficult to focus."
"I'm not still being distracting, am I? I swear, I'm being as quiet as I can!"
Shadow chuckled, shaking his head as he rose to his feet. "No. My mind just keeps wandering and I think I'm overthinking it. Focusing inwards was much easier."
"Fair enough. Can't say we didn't try," Sonic said with a shrug, tossing his stone away and getting to his own feet. "Let's go find Tails and say goodbye to Knuckles and Rouge."
"I'm sorry we came all this way for, ultimately, nothing," Shadow sighed as they began to walk through the temple.
"I wouldn't say nothing," Sonic wrapped a reassuring arm around Shadow's shoulders, giving the hybrid a friendly little shake, "We got out of the house and saw some friends. Even if we didn't get any real answers, that's something. Plus! Now you know how to work your shoes again."
"I appreciate your positivity."
"Regular ol' ray of sunshine, me."
"Somehow, I doubt that."
Sonic couldn't hold back a peel of laughter at Shadow's snark, grinning the rest of the way to where Knuckles and Rouge were audibly arguing again. He couldn't help but be a little bit astonished at how easily Shadow could read him and caught his demeanor change when he'd only, technically, known Sonic for a bit over a week. Some of the friends he'd known for years couldn't even get that good of a read on him. It made his heart do that odd little staccato in his chest again. He shook his head and let his arm drop from the dark hedgehog's shoulders as they entered the room where Knuckles and Rouge were arguing, quickly whistling to catch their attention.
"Hey! We're gonna head out," he said, smirking at the annoyed look the two gave him for interrupting their fight, "I'm worried Shadow is going to go bug eye if he stares at the master emerald for much longer."
"It's barely been ten minutes," Knuckles pointed out, folding his arms over his chest, "That is hardly enough time to connect properly to Chaos."
"Yeah, well, we're the fastest creatures alive, right? So, we should be able to connect to Chaos that much faster, and it's just not happening," Sonic said with an easy shrug.
"You sure you want to stick with Blue, sugar?" Rouge asked, letting out a short laugh as Shadow pointed at himself and mouthed 'me?' at her in surprise. "Yes, you. You're more than welcome to come back with me to Club Rouge. I figure the Hardy Boys over there will be getting on your nerves soon enough."
"Hardy Boys?"
Sonic rolled his eyes, hip chucking Shadow lightly, but enough that the hybrid took a step to the side to keep his balance. "They're characters in a book series. Two brothers who solve mysteries. But we," Sonic jabbed his thumb into his chest with a sneer to Rouge, "are way cooler than the Hardy Boys because we fight robots and save people."
"Mhmm. And solve mysteries," Rouge pointed out, cocking her hip with a smirk. "Anyway…It's an open invitation, hun. You ever get tired of living in a pigsty with those two and you can come crash at mine, okay?"
"Sonic's house is quite clean," Shadow offered, his ears twitching at the way Rouge scoffed quietly in disbelief and Sonic shouted a triumphant 'HA' at her. "But, thank you for the offer. I'll keep it in mind."
"Make sure you do," Rouge nodded, before giving them a little salute, "Anyway, I'm off, too. This one won't stop giving me a hard time, so I might as well book it."
"Good riddance," Knuckles grunted, looking affronted as Rouge stuck her tongue out at him, only to return the gesture with aplomb.
With that Rouge rolled her eyes and flapped her wings, lifting up off the floor. She gave them all a little wave, taking off down the hallway that Sonic and Shadow had walked to get there, brushing her fingers through Shadow's quills with a laugh as she passed him by.
"Well then, if there is nothing else I can help you with," Knuckles stated, gesturing down the hallway, "Get off my island."
"Always the most gracious host," Sonic hummed, letting out a whoop of laughter as Knuckles ran at him, quickly racing down the hallway, the echidna hot on his heels. Shadow simply shook his head and followed at a more sedate pace.
The following days were spent peacefully back in Sonic's house, though he did drag Shadow out of the house more than once to go for a run, the two figuring out together exactly how he could skate with his shoes to go at top speeds. Most, if not all, of their casual runs became races, ending in the two getting into a friendly argument about who the 'winner' was, which thrilled Sonic to no end when Shadow got that familiar little scowl on his face and puffed up his chest in self-confidence.
Their blissful little bubble could only last so long before it inevitably popped, however.
"Looks like I need to make another grocery run," Sonic sighed, already slipping his shoes on in the hallway.
"I'll come with you," Shadow said, rising from his seat on the couch, where he'd been re-reading the book of legends he'd picked up weeks prior.
"You don't have to, Shads. It'll probably be pretty boring," the blue hedgehog said, hand already on the door knob.
"It will give me an opportunity to get to know more of the town," Shadow insisted, sliding his own shoes on, "And Tails told me to make sure you remembered to get him his mints next time you went into town. This way I can be sure they won't be forgotten."
"Oh, ye of little faith," Sonic scoffed, but opened the door and gestured for Shadow to step through it. He bit his lip once Shadow had passed him, wishing he had come up with a better reason than 'it's boring' to keep Shadow at home. It hadn't occurred to him the first time he'd gone shopping, but he was pretty happy Shadow had stayed home once he'd given it some thought. The people in town knew who the hybrid was. Most people around the country did. A small handful of brave news reporters had made sure that as much of the fight between Sonic and Shadow as they deemed safe was broadcast across the country. He could only hope that the months between then and now had dulled most people's memory and no one would say anything to or about the dark hedgehog at his side, and that the handful of interviews he'd done after stopping the ARK, regaling Shadow as a hero, would help change the narrative a bit.
Luck was apparently not on his side.
The first bit of their shopping trip had been uneventful, with a short race to the shops, and a quiet meandering walk through the aisles. Shadow added odds and ends to the basket Sonic was carrying, while they enjoyed idle chit chat about meal plans for the week. But then one loud mouthed child spoiled it all by blatantly pointing at Shadow while tugging on their mother's dress and loudly stating, "Look, Mommy! It's the bad man from TV!"
Sonic froze, while Shadow simply looked confused, looking around behind him to see who the child was pointing at. When he found no one else in the aisle but them, he turned his gaze back towards the child who jumped and ducked behind his mothers legs. He opened his mouth to speak, only to be cut off by the child's irate looking mother.
"You should be ashamed of yourself," she seethed at Shadow, who took a quick step back, shock blatant on his face at being snapped at without provocation. She shot a dirty look at Sonic, who simply scowled right back at her. "I don't care what the news repots said. Bringing him out here, during the day, while there are children around?! Reckless endangerment!" With that she scooped up her child and stormed out of the aisle, leaving a bewildered Shadow and a livid Sonic behind.
"Sonic? Did…What just happened?" Shadow frowned, turning to Sonic in confusion.
"She was just being…intolerant," Sonic grumbled, shifting the basket on his arm, "C'mon. We've only got a few more things to grab and then we can go home."
Gathering the rest of the groceries was easy enough, as they only needed items in two more blissfully empty aisles. However, the cash register was a whole other ball game. There were only a few people in line as they approached, but once one person caught sight of them and made a rather undignified sound of fright, that caught the others attention and they all scattered, leaving a rather nervous looking cashier alone at the front of the store.
"This is becoming increasingly concerning, Sonic," Shadow murmured, glancing around at where all of the people had run off to while unloading their basket onto the counter.
"Ignore them," Sonic groused, shooting the cashier a withering look as they half ducked behind their register. Did the people really not trust him to know when there was an actual threat around? Not only was he insulted on Shadow's behalf at this point, but a little on his own, as well.
"If you say so," the hybrid muttered, stepping to the side while the cashier rang in their items with shaking hands.
Sonic paid quickly once the total came up on the screen, snatching up their bags in haste once the transaction was complete. The way everyone acted, as though Shadow was a ticking time bomb, grated on his last nerve. He turned to storm out of the store, only to find Shadow admiring a display stand of plants near the end of the register, completely oblivious to the customers peeking out from behind aisles and displays to wait until he was gone to finish their shopping. He felt his shoulders drop from their tense position at the soft smile on Shadows face as he gently touched the blooms of a tall lavender plant, watching with rapt attention as the hybrid closed his eyes and leaned in to take a deep whiff of the calming aroma the plant let off.
"Did you want one?"
"What?" Shadows eyes snapped open and he turned to Sonic, quickly retracting his hand from the plant as if he'd been caught doing something wrong.
"A lavender plant? They're meant to be soothing. Did you want one?" Sonic nodded at the purple flowers.
"Oh," Shadow glanced towards the flowers briefly before shaking his head, gesturing for Sonic to go ahead of him out of the store, "No, I don't think so. I seem to be making everyone in the store nervous, and you've already finished purchasing everything, so I think it would be best if we left."
"I can grab it, it's no big deal," Sonic insisted, only to grunt as Shadow slipped a hand behind Sonic and began to gently push him out of the store.
"I appreciate the offer, but I would rather avoid any further…unsavory interactions," Shadow stated, only removing his hand from Sonic once they were outside. "I also now have some questions for you, Sonic. And I think they would be best to answer at home." He gently took the grocery bags from the blue hedgehog, shooting him a meaningful look, before taking off the way they'd come in a blur of black and red.
"…shit."
It had never taken Sonic as long to get home as it did when he finally got his feet to move. Dread filled his stomach at the thought of what questions Shadow could have come up with after their rather harrowing trip to the grocery store. He swallowed thickly as he jogged up to his front yard, slowing to a walk as he came to the edge of the property for what was probably the first time since he'd owned the house. Upon stepping through the door he found Shadows shoes neatly tucked next to the door mat in their usual spot, which was at least a good sign. At the very least, it meant Shadow didn't have an immediate plan to take off from the house as soon as he got answers out of Sonic.
"Uhm…Where're you hiding, Shads?" he called into the house, slipping off his shoes and tucking them next to Shadows.
"I wouldn't call sitting at the kitchen table 'hiding'," came the curt reply from down the hallway.
Sonic visibly flinched at the hybrid's tone, taking a quick, deep breath to steady himself before walking into the kitchen with a forced smile on his face. "There you are!" he tried, only to be met with a flat stare. "Right," he sighed, ears flattening against his head as he shuffled across the room and settled himself in the chair across from Shadow, "So…what questions did you have for me?"
"I appreciate you not trying to beat around the bush," Shadow said with a slight nod, lightly drumming his fingers against the glass of water he had sat in front of himself. He let out a long sigh, letting his eyes slide shut, obviously centering himself before speaking. "Tell me…did you lie to me?"
"About what?"
"About who I am."
Sonic screwed his nose up, brow furrowed at the question. "You're gonna need to be a bit more specific, Shads."
The hybrid growled quietly under his breath, opening his eyes enough to glare down at the glass of water between his hands as though it had personally offended him. It was a rather familiar expression to Sonic, and he hated that he'd put it there. "About me being a hero, saving Mobius, being-," he grunted, the leather of his gloves creaking as he squeezed the glass, "being your friend."
"What? Shadow-"
"Do not lie to me again, Sonic," Shadow growled lowly, his piercing gaze cutting to Sonic, "Those people were terrified of me."
Sonic felt his shoulders drop at Shadow's glare, sinking slightly in his chair as he watched the hybrids quills stiffen and bristle. "I didn't. Not…not entirely."
The distinct sound of glass cracking reverberated through the kitchen as Shadow squeezed his glass. "Elaborate."
"You did save Mobius with me. You were a hero! You did grow up on the ARK, and you were created by a scientist named Gerald, to try and cure his sick granddaughter, Maria, who you were close with. All of that was true."
"But…?"
Emerald slid away from crimson as Sonic could not longer bear to keep eye contact with Shadow as he continued to speak. "But…when you were first awoken from being frozen someone manipulated your memories, making you think you were made to destroy, instead of heal and protect. And you…you attacked the city. You decimated a couple blocks before we managed to stop you, but it had all been televised. A lot of people saw you do it, so they're afraid. I tried to do damage control when I got back home, telling any news outlet that would listen that you helped me, but I guess people didn't really care since it wasn't something they could see happening in real time."
"…Is that all?"
Sonic cringed slightly, glancing up at Shadow, who was staring him down intently, the spiderweb of cracks in the glass he was holding making it obvious it was about two seconds from shattering. "A couple reporters managed to get hold of some sensitive information before GUN, the Guardian Unit of Nations, could shut it down. You were created with the help of some alien DNA that makes you able to channel chaos energy more efficiently than almost any other person or creature on Mobius. You can throw spears of chaos energy and teleport, which was shown on television."
"So….people think I'm a monster."
"But you're not!"
"How can you be so sure?!" The glass finally gave way with a resounding crunch, glass and water spilling across the table. Shadow quickly stood, gasping for air as if he'd just run a marathon. Sonic followed suit, rounding the table in a flash with his hands held out to catch Shadow should the hybrid try to run.
"I know you're not because I've seen how you look at this world. I've seen how happy you are just to read a good book or cook a delicious meal, or to just go for a run with me. You're good, Shadow. I promise you, you are not what those people think of you."
Shadow choked on his heaving breaths, angry tears brimming in his eyes as he grabbed at Sonic's outstretched hands, squeezing just this side of too hard. "Don't make promises you can't keep."
"I can!" Sonic snapped, twisting his hands in Shadow's grip to lace their fingers together, "The chao!"
The abrupt change of topic made Shadow startle, his grip loosening as a few of the tears in his eyes gently rolled down his cheeks. "What?"
"The chao, on Angel Island," Sonic elaborated, "They won't go near bad people. They're actively terrified of Eggman. One wouldn't have fallen asleep on you if you were a bad person. Trust me, Shadow. Please."
Shadow hiccupped, swallowing thickly as more tears began to trickle down his cheeks, his expression softening. "Did I hurt many people?" he practically whispered.
"I'd be lying if I said you didn't," Sonic offered, his heart practically shattering at the way Shadow dropped his head, ears pinned against his skull as a guttural sob ripped from his throat. Sonic felt tears threaten to gather in his own eyes, but he cleared his throat and gave Shadows fingers another reassuring squeeze. "We minimized casualties, and all civilians caught in the crossfire made full recoveries."
Slipping his fingers free from Sonic's grip, Shadow wrapped his arms around his torso, seeming to shrink in on himself. "How can you want to help me, knowing all of this?"
"I told you Shads," Sonic murmured, reaching out to gently place his hands on the hybrid's shoulders, expecting them to be shrugged off, but pleasantly surprised when they weren't. "You're a good person. I fully believe in second chances. And you earned your chance. Those people out there, they didn't see you in those moments when we pushed the ARK back into orbit," he said, a slow grin forming on his face as Shadow lifted his head to look at the hero as he spoke, "I never knew anyone else could use the chaos emeralds to go Super. So when I called on them to give me the strength to stop the ARK, and they leant their power to you as well, it was amazing. The look on your face was priceless," Sonic let out a quiet laugh at the sheer surprise on Shadows face, "Yeah, kinda like that. Your strength and determination in those moments were inspiring. And I'd be lying if I said your quills didn't look pretty cool in gold."
A quiet sniff left Shadow as he swiped at his nose with the back of his glove. "…Really?"
Sonic snorted, patting at Shadow's shoulders, reluctantly letting his hands slide away. "Yeah, man. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you the whole truth, before. I just…I wanted to see you happy. When we first met, you always looked so sad or angry. It was nice to see you with a smile on your face. I wanted that to last for you as long as it could."
"I…I appreciate that. And, truthfully, I'm not sure how I would've taken all that when I first arrived, so I guess it was for the best that you kept it to yourself for a while. It just…makes me wonder if I really want to get my memories back. Knowing how miserable I was."
"Amy's told me, before, that being sad or upset about something just means you had something to be truly happy about at one point. Dunno how much truth that really holds, but I think you've got memories you'd regret not getting back. You helped me save Mobius for a reason, and I think part of it was some of those memories."
Shadow sighed, rubbing at his eyes and nodding slightly. "I suppose you're right."
"I know I am," Sonic said with a grin, gently punching Shadow in the shoulder, his heart giving a happy little thump at the tiny smile Shadow offered him in return. "Hey, I've got an idea! Why don't I organize a little party? There are a bunch of people I've talked to about you who I'm pretty sure would be excited to finally get to meet you, and I think we deserve to have some fun after all this. How does that sound?"
"…that might be fun," Shadow finally agreed after a moment, offering Sonic a short nod.
"Awesome! Let's do it to it."
Of course, when Sonic said he'd organize a party, he'd really meant he'd ask Amy to do it for him.
"I brought you your favorite ice cream!"
"…What do you want, Sonic?" Amy sounded exasperated, but she still took the tub of ice cream from the blue hedgehog, quickly trotting into her house to put it in the freezer, knowing full well that Sonic would let himself in. She turned once the ice cream was safely stored, folding her arms over her chest and cocking a hip at the sheepish grin Sonic offered her from the kitchen doorway.
"I was hoping you could organize a little get together for me?" he asked, casually leaning against the door frame.
"A party?" Amy perked up a little, "What for?"
"Well…Shadow's been having a bit of a rough time this week, and I thought it might be nice for him to get to do a little mingling that wasn't me or Tails, y'know?"
"I should've guessed," Amy said with a roll of her eyes, but turned to pick a day planner up off her kitchen counter.
"What do you mean you should've guessed?" Sonic pushed himself from the door frame, posture subconsciously becoming defensive.
"Oh, it's nothing really," Amy said with a little wave of her hand, flipping open the planner, "It just seems like ever since Shadow showed up he's the only one you've been spending any time with."
"He lost his memory, Ames! Was I just supposed to give him a pat on the head and send him on his way?"
"Hey, hey!" Amy shot Sonic a look, causing the hero to deflate slightly, "No need to get all huffy with me. It would just be nice to see you without your thoughts being completely otherwise occupied. It feels like he's all you've talked about for months now." She let out a little breath, looking back down at her planner, "Anyway…when were you hoping to have this party of yours?"
"You'll really put it together for me?" Sonic perked up, his tail giving a little wag.
"For a price," Amy chirped with a little grin, pulling a pen from the coiled spine of her planner.
"I should've known," Sonic groaned, tipping his head back, his shoulders slumping as his tail went limp.
Amy simply giggled at him, turning back to her planner and jotting some notes down. "Oh, don't be so dramatic. I just want to go on a nice dinner date. No chili dogs or pizza, and no talk about Shadow. That sounds fair, doesn't it?"
"A dinner date? Really, Amy?"
"What? Can't a girl want to spend some quality time with her favorite hedgehog?" Amy gave him a wink, before going back to her notes, not catching Sonic's blatant cringe. "I can only assume you have no idea of when you want to have your party, but knowing you, you're going to want it as soon as possible…And given how quiet Robotnik has been lately, I think this weekend is probably a safe bet, and that should give everyone plenty of time to make arrangements to get here." She snapped her planner shut, arching a brow at Sonic with a self-assured smile. "If that sounds agreeable to you, all I need is your acceptance of my terms, and I'll get started."
With a short sigh, Sonic gave a curt nod, returning Amy's smile with a small one of his own. "Yeah, okay. One dinner date, no chili dogs or pizza, and no talk about Shadow in exchange for one party."
"Great! I'll organize it for Saturday at central park, since that'll give us plenty of space. Show up for noon, I'll make sure there's food," Amy hummed with a nod, "All you've got to do is show up."
"Thanks, Ames. You're the best," Sonic offered her a grin, chuckling at the way she seemed to puff up at his praise.
"I know I am," she chirped in reply, before pausing to tap her pen against her planner, "Though, real quick…What does Shadow like to eat? Does he have any favorites? If the party is for him, i should probably know what to cater it with."
"Oh, uh," Sonic blinked, chewing on his lip as he racked his brain for food he'd specifically seen Shadow eat or ask him to pick up from the store over the last few weeks. Truthfully, he was fairly certain the only food he'd seen the hybrid eat were the meals he prepared and shared with Sonic and Tails. Which, although he was sure any of those foods would work well for the party, he wouldn't consider any of them 'favorites' for Shadow. That was, until he recalled one specific morning when he'd woken up earlier than usual and walked into the kitchen without Shadow immediately noticing him. The hybrid had been dumping coffee beans into the grinder to make his and Tails usual morning pot of coffee, only to pause and stare at a few beans in the palm of his head. Sonic had initially thought that there was something wrong with those specific beans, only to be mildly shocked as Shadow tipped the beans into his mouth and chomped down on them with an audible crunch and a hum of satisfaction.
Sonic grinned at the memory, focusing back on Amy, who was giving him an odd look. "Coffee beans," he supplied simply, resting his hands on his hips.
"…Coffee beans?"
"Yup!
"Uh…Okay. Coffee beans, it is."
Thankfully, the rest of the week went by rather uneventfully and the weekend arrived before Sonic even realized what day it was. It was really only because he'd happened to glance at the calendar tacked up on the kitchen wall that he realized that it was Saturday. He choked on the chaos soda he'd been sipping at, whipping around on his heel to look at the clock, his heart ticking up in speed at the time. Amy would murder him if they were late to the party.
"Heyyyy, you're not making anything special for lunch, are ya, Shads?" Sonic asked quickly, turning to the hybrid, who had a bag of bread in hand and a confused look on his face.
"Just sandwiches?" he offered, lifting the bag a bit higher, "Why?
"I just thought, y'know what'd be nice? Going out! We haven't really gone anywhere since that trip to the grocery store, and it'd be nice to get out of the house and give you some better experiences," Sonic hummed, shoving his half empty can of soda into the fridge.
"We just went for a run yesterday?"
"Yeah, that's not the same," Sonic dismissed quickly, snagging the bag of bread from Shadow's hands and setting it on the counter, only offering the hybrid a smile as he was stared down in mild concern. "Why don't you go put your shoes on, and I'll go grab Tails!"
"Uh…sure," Shadow agreed slowly, shaking his head as Sonic zipped away to fetch Tails from the garage.
A short crash and a rather explicit curse on Tails part were quick to follow as Shadow slipped his shoes on, the hybrid genuinely worried as Sonic appeared in the front hallway with a rather irritated fox kit tucked under his arm, and a bruise quite obviously blooming on his hip. Sonic had his shoes on in a flash and darted out the door, waving at Shadow from the front lawn as the hybrid hesitated in the hallway.
"C'mon, Shads! Let's juice!"
Shadow let out a little breath, deciding it was probably best to simply go with whatever was happening and deal with any potential fallout later, rather than try and question Sonic when he was obviously a bit on the manic side. Once the door was locked and the keys were safely tucked into his quills, Shadow jogged across the lawn to meet up with Sonic, who was running in place with Tails rag dolling in his hold, the fox kit obviously having given up trying to get free of his brothers grip.
"Try to keep up!" Sonic chirped, taking off with Shadow hot on his heels a moment later, laugher trailing behind them.
Their arrival to the park was met with a cacophony of greetings from the large gaggle of Mobians that were gathered. Amy had really gone all out in sending out invites and making sure people would attend. Besides herself, Knuckles, and Rouge, she'd gotten Vanilla, Cream with her Chao Cheese, Team Chaotix, Big, Princess Sally, Bunnie, Mighty and Ray all together in the park for the party. A real who's who of Sonic's friends, and none of whom that would cast unfair judgement on Shadow. Sonic beamed, returning the greeting with one of his own as he released Tails, before turning to find a rather overwhelmed looking hybrid stood frozen next to him.
"Hey…Shads? You okay? I know this was sort of a surprise, but I did tell you i was going to throw a party," Sonic offered, only just now wondering if, perhaps, a large party hadn't been the best idea, all things considered.
"I-Yes," Shadow gave a quick nod, absently fixing his quills as his gaze darted over the dozen or so people meandering and socializing around the handful of picnic tables decorated for the party, "Yes, I'll be fine. There are just a lot of people."
"Lots of people who will love you," Sonic reassured, slipping behind Shadow to gently push him towards the party, "You're polite and charming. That's all you really need. Trust me."
"Polite and charming. Right," the hybrid absently echoed, waving awkwardly with a small, forced smile on his face as he was greeted by the party goers.
Sonic managed to introduce a small handful of the crowd to Shadow, and got to engage in about ten minutes of conversation before he found a peach arm winding around his own with Amy sidling up next to him, a happy little grin on her face. He sighed, but made no move to dislodge her as she easily injected herself into the conversation Sonic had been having with Shadow, Vanilla and Vector. When a natural lull in the conversation occurred, Amy gave his arm a little tug, leaning around his shoulder to offer an apologetic smile to Shadow, who gave the pink hedgehog an odd look for the way she was half hanging off Sonic's arm.
"Sorry to interrupt, but I just need a moment with Sonic," she offered, wiggling her fingers in a reserved little wave, which Shadow returned hesitantly, obviously confused as to why the motion caused Sonic to let out a snort of laughter.
"Did I do something weird?" the dark hedgehog asked, turning to Vanilla and Vector who were now also chuckling.
"Nah, man," Sonic shook his head, allowing Amy to drag him away, "You're all good. Be back in a flash." He sighed as Amy pulled him away, casting one last glance back to find Shadow fully engaged back in conversation with the others, more than happy to see how well the hybrid was doing. He only wished he could be over there as well, instead of being interrogated by Amy. "Alright, Ames," he slipped his arm free of her grasp once they'd stopped walking, "What's up?"
"I wanted to know your opinion on the party," she chirped, smile not diming despite the fact that Sonic was free of her grip.
"It's great. You did a really amazing job throwing it all together, especially since you did it in such a short period of time. I'm kinda surprised so many people showed up," Sonic offered, gesturing towards the picnic tables laden with snacks and the yard games set up off to the side where Charmy and Tails were cheating at ladder toss against Espio and Bunnie. He snickered as he watched Bunnie throw her toss too hard, the bola she was using wrapping itself around the branches of a tree.
"It wasn't too hard," Amy demurred, lacing her fingers in front of herself, "Once I told everyone the party was for you, it wasn't too hard to get them to agree."
"What?" Sonic looked back to Amy, light frown on his face, "But the party is for Shadow."
"Yeah, but most of them don't know Shadow, outside of what the news showed. You and I both know everyone here is willing to give just about anyone the benefit of the doubt, but trying to convince them to come to a party for a guy who tried to destroy the world would be like trying to convince the freedom fighters to celebrate Eggman's birthday," Amy sighed, her smile finally falling as she placed her hands on her hips, "And don't try to argue with me, you know I'm right."
"That's still a bit harsh, Ames," Sonic grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.
"It's not like I'm disagreeing with you. I just did what I needed to, to make sure people showed up," Amy stated, pointing towards the party, "Anyway, look. I even made sure to have coffee beans on the menu."
The jubilant sound of a child screeching in disgust could be heard from the direction Amy pointed, to which Sonic turned his head just in time to watch Shadow grin and toss coffee beans into his mouth with Cream watching on with horrified fascination. He crunched the beans between his teeth and offered a handful to her, to which she loudly protested with a laugh, though Cheese did seem a little intrigued by the unconventional snack. Sonic chuckled at their antics, shaking his head slightly in amusement.
"…Oh."
Sonic frowned at the quiet word from Amy, quickly turning his attention back to her. "What? Is something wrong?"
"No…well, yes, but," she murmured, suddenly looking like a kicked puppy, "it's nothing you can help, I don't think."
"What're you talking about?" Sonic reached for Amy, only to be even more confused as she pulled away from him.
"Well, first, you could've told me you had started dating Shadow before agreeing to go on a date with me," she said a bit bitingly, clutching at the hem of her dress.
"Amy, seriously, what are you talking about?" Sonic borderline growled, trying to keep his voice low in case anyone from the party got close enough to eavesdrop. "I am not dating Shadow."
"No? Oh, please, Sonic," she scoffed, shooting him a half hearted glare, "With the way you were just looking at him, how could I not tell?" She paused at the irritated stare Sonic was giving her, a quiet gasp leaving her as her demeanor changed from upset to sympathetic. "Unless…? Oh, Sonic," she breathed, shaking her head, "Have you seriously not realized?"
"This is getting to be too much," Sonic groused, about to turn, but Amy's hand on his arm stopped him.
"Sonic…If I said I would give absolutely anything to have you look at me the way you were just looking at him, it would still be an understatement," Amy sighed, sliding her hands down to wrap them around Sonics, "You were looking at him like he hung the moon and stars. You looked so smitten. And all he was doing was playing with Cream and eating coffee beans!"
Sonic scoffed, wrenching his hand free of Amy's grip while taking a quick step back. "That's ridiculous! I'm just helping a friend!"
"A friend who you let move in with you and plan parties for because you want to make him happy after having a, and I quote 'rough week'. I don't remember the last time you threw a party for anyone that wasn't for their birthday."
"I didn't even plan this party, I got you to do it!"
"You still had the idea for it!"
"Only because I wanted Shadow to realize he's the good person I know he is! We ran into people in the grocery store who were petrified of him, and he had a break down in my kitchen! I wasn't going to let him go on thinking he was some sort of monster just because some people got the wrong impression of him," Sonic seethed, only to pause and glance around to make sure no one was paying the squabbling duo any mind. He quickly grabbed Amy and ducked behind a tree, ignoring her protest. "Look. I just want him to have a good time while he's missing his memories and not bogged down by all that crap that happened on the ARK. That doesn't mean I have feelings for him."
Slowly, Amy extracted her arm from Sonic's grasp, taking a swift step back once she was free. She took a deep breath, an uncharacteristic scowl on her face as she stared Sonic down. "Do you two get along?"
"Huh?" Sonic's irritation immediately dissipated at the sudden question.
"Do you two get along?"
"Well, I mean, of course…"
"Do you enjoy spending time with him?"
Sonic scoffed, cocking his hip. "What're you trying to get at, Ames?"
"Answer my question."
"Of course I do. He's one of the only people who can give me a run for my money in a race."
"Okay. Do you try to think of reasons to spend time with him?"
Sonic opened his mouth to make another asinine comment, before snapping his mouth shut to give that particular question some thought. Normally, when it had been a while between Eggman attacks, Sonic would run around, visiting friends or places he'd yet to see to keep himself occupied and entertained. But with Shadow staying in the house, he often found himself just as happy to stay home, sharing the time and space with the dark hedgehog as he read his own book or bustled around the kitchen making a good meal. He bit his lip, his shoulders slumping slightly. "I…I guess I do."
"Are you happy when you're together?"
"Yeah…"
"Do you like to make him happy?"
Sonic squirmed slightly, rubbing absently at his quills. "I mean, yeah, I guess…"
Amy sighed, staring forlornly at Sonic for a moment, before shaking her head and brushing her quills out of her face. "You don't need to go on a date with me as payment anymore."
"What? A deal's a deal, Ames-"
"Exactly," Amy hummed, brushing invisible dust from her dress, "It was a deal. And I decided to break it." She stepped around Sonic and the tree they hid behind, pausing next to the hero. "If I were you," she said quietly, "I would think about those questions I asked you." With that Amy walked back to the party, leaving a rather bewildered Sonic behind.
He stepped out from behind the tree to watch as Amy gave Shadow a hug, which he returned with a confused but contented little smile on his face. It made something twist weirdly in his chest. He took another quick step back, deciding that, perhaps, it'd be best if he took a run to clear his head, rather than stay for the rest of the party. Shadow and Tails could get home on their own, it wasn't like they were that far from the house. And with that thought, Sonic took off, ignorant of the pair of worried crimson eyes that watched him go.
The next day Sonic made a point of skipping breakfast and avoiding Shadow all together as he got his thoughts together. And then the next day. And the next. On the fourth day Tails finally blasted Sonic on his communicator, telling him to at least leave a note if he was suddenly going to disappear for days on end so Shadow would stop making him meals and expecting him to show up. It made Sonic's heart sink at the thought of Shadow sitting at the dining room table with his plate set out, waiting, only to be ultimately disappointed thanks to Sonic's cowardice and indecision. He grunted and kicked at a random piece of trash near his foot. Perhaps Amy really was getting at something with her crazy theory about him having feelings.
He sighed when he heard his communicator ping at him once again, finding a note from Tails to pick up some mints from the store on his way home, and a single comment that Shadow would like to speak to him whenever he got home. Sonic groaned at the request, raking his fingers through his quills and pulling. Amy made it sound so simple, but he still hadn't figured anything out. Though, he supposed that avoiding the issue wasn't really doing anyone any good.
Sighing heavily, he let his hands drop from his quills, glaring up at the sky for a moment, before kicking out and taking off back towards home. Running around and trying to think wasn't working, so he might as well face the problem head on and come up with something on the fly. It was how he came up with all his best plans in battle, after all.
In his haste to get home, Sonic very nearly blew right past the store, but at the last moment he remembered Tails' request for more mint candies. Given that the kid was probably pissed at him for disappearing without a word he would be remiss to show up at home without them. So, he dug his heels in and made a quick turn, making sure to slow to a jog as he approached the doors, not wanting to blow anything off the shelves or stands.
It only took him a moment to locate his brothers favorite candies amongst the shelves, speeding to the register once he had them in hand to not further delay the inevitable. However, it was as he approached the counter that he spotted them. The lavender plants that had offered Shadow some modicum of comfort during their disastrous grocery trip. He let out a slow breath as his mind drifted to the image of the hybrid looking so contented while smelling the flowers. Unhurriedly, he approached the display, reaching out to gently touch the blooms in the same fashion that Shadow had, getting light whiffs of their scent as he looked them over. The idea of taking one of them home to get to see that same expression on the hybrids face every day made his heart flutter.
And with that thought, Sonic knew exactly how he felt and what he needed to do.
Making his way home in a quick fashion with a potted plant in hand was not as simple as he'd thought it would be. In the end, he'd wound up having to walk home to keep the poor thing intact, which irritated him to no end, since taking his time was not ideal.
But finally, finally, he made it home.
He made his way into the house, carefully setting the plant down, finding the place to be eerily quiet. He slipped his shoes off, then made his way to the kitchen, tossing Tails' candies onto the counter, only to find a note there from the fox kit saying he was going to Charmy's place. Sonic thought it was a bit odd to leave a note when he could just message Sonic on the communicators, until he realized that it wasn't for him. It was for Shadow, since the hybrid still didn't have a communicator yet. He knew his brother didn't mean it as such, but it felt like a bit of a dig at his own lack of proper communication. He sighed and turned to lean back against the counter, now feeling a bit foolish for rushing home the way he had when it seemed like no one else was even there. Shoving himself from the counter after a beat and shuffling through the house, Sonic decided he may as well watch a movie or play a video game while he waited for the others to get back.
He froze upon reaching the living room, momentarily having forgotten that it was Shadow's make-shift bedroom. With the silence of the house he hadn't been expecting to find the dark hedgehog on the couch, but apparently he simply slept like the dead. Shadow was splayed out along the length of the couch with a book resting open on his chest, and a blanket tangled with his legs. Sonic leaned against the couch, taking the opportunity to admire Shadow as he slept for a few moments, before he reached down and gently shook his ankle to wake him up.
A swinging right hook was fully not what Sonic expected as Shadow woke with a shout, thanking Chaos that his reflexes were so quick.
"Good morning to you, too!" Sonic called from the other side of the room, where he had plastered himself against the book shelf to keep from getting hit.
"Wh-huh?" Shadow blinked owlishly, glancing around the room, arm still raised in the air as he slowly took in his surroundings. Sonic wished he had a camera on hand to capture the expression on the hybrids face, along with the way his usually perfectly quaffed quills were sticking up in every which direction from how he'd been positioned on the couch. Shadow finally blinked in Sonic's direction, a light frown on his face, before recognition lit up his expression. "Sonic!"
"Hey there, sunshine."
Quickly, Shadow stood from the couch, running his fingers through his quills to flatten them down, a light flush dusting his muzzle as he did his best to quickly make himself presentable. "If I'd known when you were to be home I would've made sure to be awake," he remarked, scooping his fallen book from the floor where it had fallen to set it on the coffee table.
Sonic felt a pang of guilt at the simple comment, rubbing at the back of his head as he shuffled back towards the couch. "Yeah, I…I'm sorry about that," Sonic sighed, pausing as he reached the side of the couch, "I should've at least left a note or something before I ran off like that."
"It's quite alright. Tails informed me that, when Eggman hasn't attacked in a while, sometimes you get stir crazy. He said it's not unusual for you to disappear for longer stretches of time occasionally," Shadow reassured, slowly pulling the blanket he'd been using from the couch and folding it.
"I mean, yeah, sometimes…but this time Amy said something to me that just got into my head, and-"
"So, she did say something to you…?"
"What?" Sonic frowned slightly, watching as Shadow set the folded blanket on the back of the couch.
"Amy," Shadow supplied, idly spinning one of his inhibitor rings around his wrist to keep his hands busy. "She said something to you. I figured as much, since you ran off after she took you aside ." He visibly steeled himself, dropping his hands to his sides as he looked to Sonic. "If she still thinks I'm untrustworthy to be here I can find somewhere else to stay. Rouge insisted once again at the party that I could stay with her, and Vector has also offered a place with the Chaotix. If my presence has become a problem, I can vacate at your leisure."
"What?!" Sonic felt his heart jump into his throat, quickly darting around the couch and grabbing at Shadow's shoulders, "No! No, of course I don't want you to leave. What Amy said, yeah, it got into my head but not-…It wasn't anything bad. It just gave me some stuff to think about. I needed some time and space to figure it out."
"Oh," Shadow let out a breath, shoulders relaxing as a small smile graced his muzzle, "I'm glad. I had worried that I'd done something upsetting without realizing again."
"No. The exact opposite, really," Sonic said with a light chuckle, letting his hands slide down Shadow's arms to gently take his hands. "I wanted to talk to you about that, actually. Oh! But first-" he quickly jogged over to the front door where he'd set the lavender plant, lifting it with a flourish, "I brought you a present!"
"The plant from the grocery store?" Shadow blinked, carefully taking the plant as Sonic handed him the pot.
"Yeah. It's not much, but I remembered how much you seemed to like it when we were at the store. Sorta seemed like it gave you a little moment of peace when everything else was sort of hitting the fan, so I thought you might like to have a little bit of that here. At home," Sonic offered, watching in rapt attention as Shadow brought the little purple blooms to his nose to take a careful sniff of the flowers.
"That's very thoughtful. Thank you."
Sonic flushed at the warm smile he was given in exchange for the plant, unable to contain his nervous energy as he began to tap his foot on the floor. "I…It was nothin," he muttered, rubbing absently at his arm. He winced slightly as Shadow lowered the plant, his eyes traveling down to Sonic's restless foot before moving back up to his face.
"Is there something else? You seem…agitated."
"Uh, yeah," Sonic cleared his throat, forcing his foot to stop tapping, though he then began to pick at a loose thread on one of his gloves, "Sorry, this is just…a lot. For me. And new."
"It's alright. Take your time. I'm not going anywhere."
Sonic let out a little puff of breath, a slow smile spreading across his face. "No. You're not, are you?" He cleared his throat again at the odd look Shadow gave him, forcing his hands down to his sides for a beat, before bringing them back up to cup around Shadows where he held the plant. "Shadow…I know we haven't really known each other that long, and maybe it was the chaos emeralds that brought us together at first, but…But I've never felt like this around anyone before. You treat Tails like family, you're an amazing cook, and you take care of us without ever needing to be asked. You keep up with me in every way that matters, and you make me happy in a way that is so unique to you, I don't even know how to describe it. I can't imagine waking up in the morning anymore and not finding you working on breakfast and sneaking coffee beans when you think no one's looking. Which, by the way, there's no point to, we all know you eat them," he paused as they both chuckled, "What I'm trying to say is…In my life, the way I live, and the things I do, opportunities fly by in a blink. So if you don't take them when they show up, they can vanish before you even realize what you've missed. And I don't want to do that with you. I want to take every opportunity I can get, and cherish them…Because I-I love you."
"Sonic…"
Ducking his head, Sonic let out a nervous little laugh. "You don't have to say it back. I know this is probably out of left field for you. But, you've been on my mind for months. It just took Amy pointing out how obvious I was being for me to finally get my head out of my ass and give it two seconds of thought to realize what I was feeling." Silence reigned for a few moments until Sonic finally lifted his gaze back up to find Shadow's eyes rimmed with tears, the hybrid breathing heavily as he was obviously trying to keep his emotions in check. "Uh…You okay?"
"Yes…No," Shadow hiccupped, tipping his head back and blowing out a breath. He took another minute or so to compose himself, before sniffing in a breath and bringing his head back down to offer the blue hedgehog a lopsided smile. "That was very sweet. I hope you don't mind if I take some time to think about it?"
"Of course not," Sonic quickly reassured, giving Shadow's hands a gentle squeeze around the pot before letting go, "Take all the time you need. Took me months, after all."
Shadow let out a bark of laughter, carefully setting the plant down on the coffee table. "Hopefully it won't take me quite as long to have an answer for you," he offered, wiping at his face hastily once his hands were free. "What I can tell you now, however, is that I'm happy to have found my way here. I'm happy that I've gotten to spend the time I have with you, Tails, and your friends. Even if I never manage to regain my memories, I think I would be okay with that if it meant I got to spend the rest of my days here. With you."
Sonic couldn't help the gleeful grin that spread across his muzzle at Shadow's words, his hands reaching out to cup the hybrid's face as he bounced on his toes. "It'd be more than okay if you stayed here, for as long as you'd like," he hummed, inching ever closer to Shadow, the hybrid letting out a low chuckle at Sonic's excited energy. "I'm going to kiss you now, if that's okay?"
"Please do."
That was all the permission Sonic needed to duck into Shadow's space, pressing their lips together with a pleased little hum. He tilted his head slightly to deepen the kiss as Shadow's arms wound around his torso, only to jerk back in surprise as the front door opened suddenly, accompanied by Tails loudly shouting that he was home. The three stood staring awkwardly at each other as Tails fully stepped inside and shut the door behind himself.
"Uh…So, what were you guys up to?" Tails asked, toeing off his shoes.
"Kissing," Sonic said with a cheeky grin, Shadow making a pathetic wheezing sound as he buried his face in a blue shoulder.
"I see," Tails said plainly, padding down the hallway, "Well, you two have fun with that. Glad you made up. Oh, but please make sure to keep it down. I'd really appreciate not having to find out what sounds my brother makes when 'being intimate'."
"Tails!" Shadow and Sonic snapped at the same time, both flushing as Tails disappeared into the garage with a cackling laugh.
"That was mortifying," Shadow grumbled, pulling away from Sonic enough to rub his hands over his face with a low groan.
"Eh, could've been worse."
"How so?"
"We could've actually been 'getting intimate'."
"Sonic!"
"What? I'm not wrong," the blue hedgehog laughed and landed on the couch with a grunt as Shadow shoved him away. He grinned up at the hybrid, enjoying the way Shadow's face scrunched up in embarrassment, lips twisted in a scowl and cheeks aflame. "Hey," he hummed, reaching out to tangle their hands together, giving a little tug so Shadow shuffled forward to stand between his knees, "I love you."
"I…How do I respond?" Shadow asked, leaning over Sonic, his embarrassment easily morphing into nervousness.
"You could kiss me again?" Sonic offered, cheeky little smirk curling his lips.
"If you insist," Shadow breathed, a smile finally returning to his face as he ducked his head down to press their lips together once more.
The following weeks were like a dream to Sonic.
After a bit of cajoling from Tails, Shadow moved his few meager belongings up to Sonic's room, where he began to spend the night curled up around the blue hedgehog. Normally, Sonic found any sort of physical contact at night stifling that wasn't strictly a blanket. It was why he had a queen size mattress to himself. However, for some reason, he was more than happy to have Shadow's head nestled under his chin, and his arms wrapped around his torso the whole nigh through. And in the morning, instead of waking up to the smell of breakfast cooking, Shadow would wake him up with a handful of gentle kisses peppered across his face before slipping from the warmth of their blankets to get ready for the day. It left the hero of Mobius feeling light and airy for the rest of the day.
The days themselves were not much different than what they had been before Sonic had confessed to Shadow, but there were little added surprises and delights that Sonic slowly got to discover over time. Like how Shadow apparently quite enjoyed Sonic surprising him with little kisses as he zipped past him on his way around the house, going out of his way to make a game of it to try and catch him to return the kisses, stating that he couldn't let Sonic get one up on him. Or finding out that Shadow liked to waltz by walking into the kitchen one afternoon as the hybrid set some music to play before getting started on dinner, only to be swept into a dance quite unexpectedly.
There were also the new prizes for being the winner in their races. Sonic was pleased as punch when he realized that Shadow was more than willing to give in to his demand for kisses if he won, no matter how out of breath the both of them were by the time they were done. One especially memorable race ended with Shadow pinned to a tree, snarling about Sonic being a dirty cheater to win kisses, but still melting into it when Sonic nipped at his lips and pressed his fingers into the dip on the hybrid's hip that he knew made him shiver. Sonic was fairly certain the only reason they hadn't just gone at it against the tree then and there was because Shadow noticed that they had actually wound up on a hiking trail and had expressed that Tails walking in on them kissing was one thing, but a total stranger did not need to get an eye full of hedgehog. Frankly, Sonic begged to differ, but Shadow distracted Sonic with a well placed roll of his hips before slipping free of the other's hold and taking off.
Sonic tried not to give too much thought to the fact that Shadow had yet to return his declaration of love, despite the fact that they were very much together. He could wait, even if being patient was slowly eating him up inside. Shadow deserved all the time in the world to figure things out.
Unfortunately, peace on Mobius seemed to be perpetually fleeting, so time was not really on their side.
Realistically, Sonic had known it was only a matter of time until Robotnik put together some new cockamamie scheme to try and take over the world. So, he couldn't really be too surprised when, a mere two months after Shadow appeared on his front lawn, he got a call to aid from Sally. Apparently, Eggman had managed to amass himself a new little army of heavies and miscellaneous badniks, topped off by Metal Sonic leading the charge.
"Go figure Egghead would choose now to attack," Sonic growled, glaring at the screen Tails had pulled up, detailing what they currently knew about the bombardment.
"It was going to happen sooner or later…Though, I do also wish it had been later," Tails grumbled, typing rapidly as data and videos flashed across the screen, "And with Metal Sonic leading the attack, you know he means business."
"Metal Sonic?" Shadow echoed, stepping up next to Sonic to look over the screens. He'd been elbow deep in the side garden when Sonic got the call, having taken it over when Sonic offered it as a spot to transplant the lavender to. He'd opted to finish up and take a quick shower while Sonic got debriefed from Sally over the communicators and Tails got all of the info the freedom fighters had to offer.
"Yeah…Eggman decided a long time ago that the best way to beat me was with a robo version of me. Every time we beat Metal he gets a new upgrade. Which has happened a fair few times over the years, as you can imagine. It makes him a real tough nut to crack," Sonic groused, tapping his toe impatiently on the floor. "We're gonna need all hands on deck, especially with those heavies backing him up."
"…Does that include Shadow?" Tails asked quietly, casting a glance over his shoulder at his brother, who bristled.
"No."
Shadow blinked, a frown immediately curling his lips. "What? Why not? You just said you needed all hands on deck."
"All capable hands. No offense, Shads, but you still don't know how to work your powers properly yet. You're fast and all, but we haven't exactly spent any time figuring out how you get your chaos spears to work. It's too risky to have you out on the field," the blue hero stated bluntly, folding his arms over his chest.
"Full offense taken," Shadow growled back, quills bristling as he took a threatening step towards Sonic, "All you are is fast. I can fight! Don't treat me like I'm fragile just because I don't remember everything yet."
"He's kinda right, Sonic," Tails added, spinning around in his chair, "Arguably, Shadow is the strongest person we know. Even without his chaos spears, he'd be an asset against Metal. You can't bench him just because you're worried."
Sonic reared back slightly, shooting Tails a glare. "I'm not worried."
"You blatantly are. You know Shadow is a good fighter, and he's as fast as you are. The two of you against Metal would be ideal, while everyone else takes on the heavies and badniks. You can't argue that battle plan is sound. You're just worried he'll get hurt, like the last time you fought together," Tails reasoned, anxiously fiddling with one of his tails.
"…Is that true?" Shadow asked, posture relaxing as Sonic bit his lip and looked away. "Sonic. You can't seriously want to endanger others just to keep me safe? We'd work better as a team to beat them now, before they advance too far. Listen to your head, not your heart."
Sonic growled low in his throat, ears pinned back as he glanced between his brother and partner, before looking back towards the screens where a video of Metal Sonic decimating a freshly evacuated house was playing on loop. He squeezed his eyes shut, hunching his shoulders for a moment, before throwing his arms up with a frustrated shout. "Fine! Fine. You're right," he half snarled, rubbing his hands over his face. "I just," he sighed, posture going slack as he looked to Shadow, his expression defeated, "I hate the thought of you getting hurt again because I wasn't fast enough."
"Give me a little credit," Shadow snorted, folding his arms over his chest, "I can take care of myself." And with the self assured stance and cocky little smirk that settled on his face, he looked every bit the ultimate lifeform he claimed to be while aboard the ARK, and Sonic couldn't help but believe him.
Getting to the fight had been simple enough in the Tornado. The issue was that once they'd begun to approach the battle field, Sonic and Shadow were almost immediately separated from everyone else by Metal Sonic. There was no time to dodge as Metal slammed into the Tornado as it flew in low to land, Sonic and Shadow leaping from the damaged plane to go after the robotic ruffian as he tried to lay waste to the freedom fighters first line of defense.
It didn't take long for Metal to lead them to Robotnik.
"Hey, hey, Eggy!" Sonic called, pausing on the battle field as Metal dashed off to his leader, "Took you longer than usual to try something. Getting slow in our old age, are we?" He shot a smirk towards Shadow, who simply rolled his eyes as he came to a stop next to the hero.
"I'll have you know that proper fabrication takes time," Robotnik snapped back, leaning over the edge of his egg mobile to shake his fist at the hedgehogs. He froze upon seeing Shadow stood next to Sonic, openly gaping and holding a hand out to keep Metal from advancing again. "Shadow?! What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to help stop your tirade against the good people of Mobius," Shadow declared, puffing his chest out in a self assured way that made Sonic snicker quietly next to him.
"Wh-Seriously? After all I did for you, this is the thanks I get? Family is supposed to stick together, you know," Robotnik grumped, slouching back in his seat.
"…Family?" the hybrid echoed, all of his previous bravado disappearing in an instant, "What are you talking about?"
"What am I talking about? Oh, only that Gerald Robotnik, my grandfather, created you? How hard did you hit your head when you crash landed? I thought I got Metal to catch you before too much damage occurred," Robotnik stated, waving a hand through the air, "The real question is, how did you manage to get caught up with the blue idiot and his little band of do-gooders? One minute you were unconscious in my med-bay, and the next you're gone."
"I-I don't-," Shadow muttered, shaking his head slightly, suddenly turning to Sonic, "Did you know about this? All this time, were you still keeping secrets from me?!"
"I didn't mean to," Sonic said quickly, shaking his head and waving his hands through the air, "Honest! It totally slipped my mind that Egghead and Gerald were related. I swear!" He quickly made a crisscross gesture over his chest, "Cross my heart, Shadow. With everything else going on, I genuinely just forgot."
"Convenient detail to forget," Shadow growled, turning his attention back towards Robotnik and Metal, "We'll talk about this later. For now, let's just deal with the mechanical menace and make sure everyone stays safe."
"Sounds like a plan," Sonic easily agreed, already dreading the conversation they were going to have to have later. Hopefully it would go better than the last conversation they'd had to have when Sonic purposefully left out details of the hybrids past.
"A disappointing plan," Robotnik snipped from above, finally lowering his arm to allow Metal past him, "You should choose who you side with more carefully, Shadow."
"I think I was plenty careful with my choice," Shadow bit back, quickly dodging as Metal slammed into the ground where he had been standing, leaving a crater behind.
"You tell 'em, Shads," Sonic called with a grin, zipping around Metal to deliver a swift kick to his head, making him lurch to the side.
"You are on thin ice," the hybrid hissed, dodging yet another blow from Metal.
"Right! Noted," the hero said with a strained laugh, moving in tandem with Shadow around Metal.
As far as Sonic was concerned, the fight that followed was relatively average when it came to battles against Metal. They exchanged blows, Metal got a leg ripped off, and overall it leaned in Sonic's favor, especially with Shadow at his side. He thought things were going relatively well, particularly when Metal's engine began to sputter out after an exceptionally swift round house kick from Shadow. However, Sonic really should have learned not to count his flickys before they hatched.
Metal was obviously getting desperate, his blows getting more wild and erratic as Sonic and Shadow gained the upper hand, his failure eminent and predicted, if Eggman's disappearance was anything to go by. Sonic should've known better than to take his eyes off of Metal for even a moment, but their fight had gotten closer to where the freedom fighters were finishing off the last of the badniks, and he couldn't help but check on them when he heard Amy shouting directions across the battlefield to Knuckles. Those precious few seconds were all that Metal needed to swoop in at the hero, claws raised to strike.
"SONIC!"
A grunt left the blue blur as he was body slammed to the side, time seeming to slow to a crawl as he twisted in the air, watching in horror as Metal's claws came down across Shadow's chest, digging into flesh and hurling him at speed into a pile of rubble. He gasped as he hit the dirt, winded and terrified as Shadows blood spattered across the spot he'd just stood.
"No," Sonic gasped, staggering to his feet just in time to intercept another blow from Metal, snarling in the robots face as he grappled with him. "Get out of MY WAY," he bellowed, quickly spinning and throwing Metal haphazardly to the side, not bothering to watch where the robot landed. "Shadow?!" He scrambled over the torn up landscape, hurrying to the hybrid's side, where he lay in a heap amongst broken cinder blocks and splintered wood. There was a large, open gash across Shadow's chest, exposing some of the white bone beneath flesh, making Sonic gag at the sight, and a prominent wound at his temple that was slowly oozing blood across the stone he'd apparently hit his head on. "No, no, no," Sonic's hands shook as he gently brushed his fingers down Shadow's arm, choking on air as his fingers hit the inhibitor ring around the hybrid's wrist. "Shadow?"
There was no time for Sonic to grieve his mistake, as the tell tale mechanical sounds of Metal dragging himself across the battle field could be heard close by. Swiftly, Sonic stood, icy fury on his face as he ran to where Metal was forcing himself onto his functional leg. With a low growl the hero spun and kicked the juddering robot to the ground, letting out a primal yell as he pounced, hammering Metal with swift punches before ripping one of his arms free of his body and tossing it aside. He finally sat back as the robot sparked and sputtered, his eyes flickering as his power cells shorted out. Sonic stood on shaky legs as Metal finally powered down, turning quickly to run back to Shadow, only to find Rouge and Tails huddled around him, the later hastily wrapping bandages around the gaping chest wound.
"He's gonna be okay, right?" Sonic practically wheezed as Rouge hurried to hold him back, Tails muttering something on his communicator when he caught sight of his brother.
"He's a trooper, y'know he is," Rouge reassured, keeping her hands firmly on Sonic's shoulders, even as he tried to push past her to get to Shadow. "The others were just finishing up when we saw you two over here. We're gonna get him the help he needs, Blue, don't you worry."
"It's my fault," Sonic murmured, wild eyes shifting from Shadow's supine form to Rouge's face, "I looked away for a second. I looked away for a second and he got hurt. Again! I-It's my fault."
"Hey now, sugar," Rouge cooed, wrapping her arms around Sonic's shoulders and giving him a gentle squeeze and he shuddered in her arms but refused to cry, "It'll be okay. You'll see."
Getting Shadow into a hospital was a bit of an affair, given that GUN almost immediately tried to take over his care and sweep him away to a secure facility once word got to them that he'd been active in the fight. Unlucky for them, Sonic was steadfast and stubborn, and since he had been the one to check Shadow into the hospital in the first place, the staff wouldn't discharge the hybrid without Sonic's signature. The subsequent argument with the commander had been explosive, but ultimately the hero of Mobius had won, and the commander was removed from the hospital for disturbing the peace. And so, Sonic found himself sat in a rather uncomfortable chair in a private room on the third floor of a hospital, watching over the still form of one Shadow the hedgehog, his hands wrapped around Shadow's limp fingers and his head bowed. It had been two days since the battle had taken place, and Sonic had barely slept a wink, not wanting to miss the moment the hybrid woke up.
"Mnn…Where am I?"
Sonic's head shot up at the raspy words, a brilliant grin breaking out across his face at seeing squinted crimson eyes glaring around the hospital room. He gave Shadow's hand a gentle squeeze, leaning in to try and catch the hybrid's gaze. "Hey! You've been out for two days. It's nice to see you awake. How're you feeling?"
"Like a truck hit me and I guzzled a bag of sand," Shadow grumbled, pulling his hand free of Sonic's grasp to rub at his face. The blue hedgehog took that as his queue to grab a glass of water from the table next to Shadow's bed, sticking a straw into it and wiggling it in front of the hybrid's face.
"This might help with the sandy feeling," Sonic hummed, smiling warmly as Shadow took it with a grumbled 'thanks'.
Once the glass was half empty, Shadow looked around the room once again, frowning a bit as he took in his surroundings. "So…where am I, and why are you here, hedgehog?"
Sonic reeled back like he'd been hit, blinking rapidly in surprise at being called 'hedgehog'. He hadn't been called that since the ARK incident. "Uh…you're at the hospital. We fought Metal Sonic and you got hit pretty hard. Apparently Metal actually managed to claw deep enough to scratch a couple of your rib bones. And, well…I'm here to keep watch over you, I guess."
"Hmm…Well, as you can see, I'm awake and fairly functional. You don't need to watch over me anymore," Shadow stated blandly, his stare cold and distant, holding none of the warmth that Sonic had grown used to over the last couple of months.
"I….right. Yeah," Sonic nodded quickly, lurching up from his seat, his heart in his throat and suddenly feeling like he was going to throw up, "I'll go let Rouge and the others know you're okay." With that he hurried from the room, swallowing down any and all emotions that threatened to tear free of him. The most important thing right now was letting everyone know that Shadow was awake, and then he could go lock himself in a bathroom and have a miniature meltdown over the fact that his partner apparently no longer remembered the last two months. Maybe it would be a bathroom halfway around the world. That sounded like a plan.
Once he made all of the appropriate calls via phone and communicator, Sonic took off. If there was one thing he was good at, it was running. He ran for what felt like days, not stopping until his legs threatened to stop working from exhaustion, and even then he pushed himself until he found the most secluded, out of the way cave he could to finally break down and weep. He wept for the scant period of happiness he'd managed to have with Shadow, and the kind warmth that the cruelty of the world had taken away from the hybrid. And he wept for the shattering of his heart, because he knew that with the return of Shadow's memories, and the grating reality of the world baring down on them, Shadow's heart would inevitably be closed to him. Tragedy had built steep walls around Shadow's heart, and Sonic very much doubted that he would be able to scale them again.
So, of course, he was quite surprised when a figure appeared in the opening to the cave, blocking the light of the setting sun. He lifted his head and wiped at his face, squinting against the light with red, puffy eyes, taking far too long to recognize the familiar upturned, red striped quills of his 'rival'. "What're you doing here?" Sonic grumbled, voice slightly raspy from crying.
"Looking for you, obviously," Shadow stated bluntly, striding forward and digging into his quills. He procured a bottle of water and held it out to the blue hero. "Here. You're probably dehydrated."
"Thanks." Sonic took the bottle, but simply held it in his lap, staring off into space, not wanting to meet Shadows eyes and see that same look of cold disregard again. Not yet, anyway. He jumped slightly as Shadow sat down next to him with a heavy sigh. He chanced a glance at the hybrid out of the corner of his eye, absently biting at his lip at the far away look on the others face. He stayed silent, wondering what Shadow might have to say.
"Rouge filled me in on everything that happened," Shadow finally spoke after what felt like an eternity, the sun having mostly dipped beneath the horizon in the meantime, "The fight and the time you spent watching over me in the hospital."
"Is that all she told you about?" Sonic finally cracked open the bottle of water, taking a slow swig.
"That's all she needed to," Shadow shifted, tilting his head so he could watch Sonic sipping at his water. "I remember. Everything."
The bottle of water paused halfway to Sonic's mouth, emerald eyes darting to meet crimson, a glimmer of hope in them. "…everything?"
"Everything."
Shadows eyes still weren't as bright as they had been while he'd been living with Sonic, but the blue hedgehog hadn't expected them to be. All he was truly hoping for was a spark of recognition and the warmth he'd lost himself in multiple times in the last few months. And lo and behold, he found it. His breath hitched as fresh tears pooled in his eyes, a hysterical little titter of a laugh escaping him.
"You could've probably given me more than two minutes to get reoriented before taking off like that. It was a real pain in the ass tracking you down," Shadow groused, leaning back against the cave wall.
"Sorry. I'd sort of just had my heart shattered into a million little pieces, so I wasn't really thinking straight," Sonic snorted, rubbing at his eyes, unable to wipe the dopey smile off his face.
"Mmm…About that," Shadow sighed, reaching over to tap at the water bottle, forcing Sonic to continue taking little sips, "I wanted to talk to you about our…relationship."
"What about it?" Sonic couldn't keep the nerves out of his voice, the plastic of the water bottle crinkling in his grasp as he crushed it slightly in anxiety.
"I wanted to ask you if it was something you truly wanted to keep pursuing, now that I'm…fully aware again."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Just, that I'm not the same hedgehog that you seemingly fell in love with. I haven't been that hedgehog since before Maria died. Truthfully, I don't know if I was really ever that hedgehog," Shadow murmured with a little shrug, "You fell in love with who I was. Not who I am."
"That's not true!" Sonic practically shouted, sitting up and forward, making Shadow jump and stare at him with wide eyes. "I know that's exactly who you are! Under the trauma and all of the shit life has thrown at you, that is who you are. You're warm hearted and kind, with so much love to give it hurts to watch people shy away from you. Shadow…I know you love eating raw coffee beans, the smell of lavender, and if you could you would spend days just sitting in a comfy chair, reading. You like old timey music that drives Tails nuts, you know how to waltz, and you absolutely shine when you tap into your chaos energy. Those are things I love about you, and they don't suddenly disappear just because you're hurting. Please. Give me, no, give us a chance. If you think you're so different now that you have your memories back, give me the chance to get to know who you are now and prove that I love you, no matter what."
Shadow sat, stunned into silence for a solid minute, until he finally swallowed thickly, blinking back obvious tears. "Do you mean that?"
"Of course I do. With every fiber of my being."
A tiny quirk of the lips was all the smile Sonic got, but it was like the sun itself was shining on him, even though it had long since disappeared beyond the horizon. "If you'd like, then."
Sonic let out a cheerful shout, tossing his half empty water bottle across the cavern absently, before shifting to sit on his knees, leaning into Shadow's space with a grin on his face. The hybrid leaned back, his ears tipped back in uncertainty as his space was encroached upon. "I'm going to kiss you now," Sonic stated, wiggling like an excited puppy, his tail a blur behind him, "If that's okay?"
Shadow blinked, his smile slowly returning as he realized what Sonic was doing. "Please do."
With another happy little sound, Sonic darted forward, pressing his lips to Shadows as he brought his hands up to gently cup the hybrid's face, letting his thumbs absently sweep along his cheek bones. His heart beat an elated staccato in his chest, having thought he would never get the opportunity to do this again.
When they broke apart, Shadow made a soft little humming sound, reaching up to take Sonic's hands from his face. He took a deep breath, giving the hero's hands a light squeeze as he licked his lips, obviously working his way up to saying something. Sonic stayed resolutely quiet, not wanting to break whatever fragile moment was building between them.
"Say it to me again," Shadow finally spoke, lifting his gaze to stare intently into Sonic's eyes.
"Say what again?"
"That you love me."
"What for?"
"Just do it, Sonic," Shadow grumbled, earning a light laugh from the blue hedgehog.
"A hundred million times, or more. As many times as you'd like," Sonic hummed, brushing his thumbs against the back of Shadow's hands, "I love you."
Shadow let out a breath, offering Sonic a soft, warm smile, one that Sonic knew was now only for him. "I love you, too."
#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonadow#sonic fanfiction#sonic the hedgehog fanfiction#sonadow fanfiction#things that i wrote#amy rose#miles tails prower
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