#so they're banned. but i don't think it changes much about the outcome

[mausers]

I hate Biden's fucking guts too, but the other guy...the other ADMINISTRATION, is going to be so much worse in every way. May fucking cancel democracy! Wants to cancel the ACA, cut social program benefits, support anti-trans legislation, do the mask bans, every vile, shitty thing you've already seen them trying gets turned up to 11 with Executive Branch support. All of that stuff is an existential threat to my family, and we live in one of the places they like to test all their shit out. Please do not endanger millions of families like mine to prove a point! Look at the list above and think about what that list looks like here! ALSO: he probably gets to appoint EVEN MORE Supreme Court justices! Ask women in states where they can no longer make decisions about their own bodies how much they appreciate the people who stayed home and let Trump in the first fucking time! Also they've declared that Presidents are now above the fucking law, so God, wouldn't it be great to see what Trump would do with that? NO IT FUCKING WOULDN'T! ALSO: the climate can't afford another round of a Republican administration! They will let fucking oil companies plunder every last wild space they can get their fucking hands on, JUST FOR STARTERS! They will undo or make worse every single thing that did anything to move us towards living on a planet that's not trying to murder us! FUCK'S SAKE! POINT THE FUCKING WHATEVER: The dementia/old thing? HAVE YOU LISTENED TO TRUMP? He can barely form complete sentences half the time! He's old as shit! For fuck's sake, he's also a rapist and we got new stuff saying that likely Epstein helped him expand his monstrosities by raping kids, too. He's been convicted of a number of fucking felonies! He's already tried to overthrow the government once! He's SO FUCKING VILE AND STUPID! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! So I am begging you to just...especially if you do not live in a solidly blue state, please just hold your nose and do it. Vote everything downticket, too! The other administration is going to DO MORE GENOCIDE. They're gonna cut programs people need to fucking survive. They are going to continue to fan the flames of the culture wars to make this happen, classic fucking descent into fascism playbook! They are going to make the world worse in every conceivable way! Again, an administration isn't just the one fucking guy, it's also making the CDC anti-science and a Secretary of Education who actively doesn't believe in public education and a director of the EPA who is a former oil executive. Like, Christ Biden sucks so much, yes! What an idiot fucking racist! Almost certainly I have hated him longer than you! You very likely didn't see the Anita Hill hearing live. I did! I am going to vote for him anyway because the alternative is maybe very literally the loss of the ability to ever vote again, and with absolute certainty much worse outcomes on every other possible front! Fuck! You cannot teach or punish the Democratic Party! Democrats do not move left when they lose elections! I'ma say that again: DEMOCRATS DO NOT MOVE LEFT WHEN THEY LOSE ELECTIONS! They have to be primaried out, and that can only ever happen with engagement at local levels! You want third parties? YOU HAVE GROW THEM FROM THE GROUND UP! You are not getting a revolution! This is not France, there is no support system for any of it, no playbook to make it happen! Unions are growing, help them! Mutual aid is increasing, help your neighbors! Please just vote for the fucker as a baseline "the other thing gets way more people killed" kind of harms reduction action and then do the really important stuff: start working on your local government, mutual aid, joining and promoting unions. That's the stuff that will change things, and you'll feel great about it, too! The presidential vote is just the thing that makes any of that possible! Please don't gamble with a descent into nightmare fuel fascism and vulnerable people's lives because you have confused electoral pragmatism with a popularity contest. I am fucking begging you.

USA please listen to me: the price of “teaching them a lesson” is too high. take it from New Zealand, who voted our Labour government out in the last election because they weren’t doing exactly what we wanted and got facism instead.

Trans rights are being attacked, public transport has been defunded, tax cuts issued for the wealthy, they've mass-defunded public services, cut and attacked the disability funding model, cut benefits, diverted transport funding to roads, cut all recent public transport subsidies, cancelled massive important infrastructure projects like damns and ferries (we are three ISLANDS), fast tracked mining, oil, and other massive environmentally detrimental projects and gave the power the to approve these projects singularly to three ministers who have been wined and dined by lobbyists of the companies that have put the bids in to approve them while one of the main minister infers he will not prioritise the protection of endangered species like the archeys frog over mining projects that do massive environmental harm. They have attacked indigenous rights in an attempt to negate the Treaty of Waitangi by “redefining it”; as a backup, they are also trying to remove all mentions of the treaty from legislation starting with our Child Protection laws no longer requiring social workers to consider the importance of Maori children’s culture when placing those children; when the Waitangi Tribunal who oversees indigenous matters sought to enquire about this, the Minister for Children blocked their enquiry in a breach of comity that was condemned in a ruling — too late to do anything — by our Supreme Court. They have repealed labour protections around pay and 90 day trials, reversed our smoking ban, cancelled our EV subsidy, cancelled our water infrastructure scheme that would have given Maori iwi a say in water asset management, cancelled our biggest city’s fuel tax, made our treasury and inland revenue departments less accountable, dispensed of our Productivity Commission, begun work on charter schools and military boot camps in an obvious push towards privatisation, cancelled grants for first home buyers, reduced access to emergency housing, allowed no cause evictions, cancelled our Maori health system that would have given Maori control over their own public medical care and funding, cut funding of services like budgeting advice and food banks, cancelled the consumer advocacy council, cancelled our medicine regulations, repealed free prescriptions, deferred multiple hospital builds, failed to deliver on pre-election medical promises, reversed a gun ban created in response to the mosque shootings, brought back three strikes = life sentence policy, increased minimum wage by half the recommended amount, cancelled fair pay for disabled workers, reduced wheelchair services, reversed our oil and gas exploration ban, cancelled our climate emergency fund, cut science research funding including climate research, removed limits on killing sea lions, cut funding for the climate change commission, weakened our methane targets, cancelled Significant National Areas protections, have begun reversing our ban on live exports. Much of this was passed under urgency.

It’s been six months.

[mirceakitsune]

My thoughts on the election

Considering this is such an important event and ties to personal things, I wanted to share my thoughts on the election like many others have. This isn't going to be some angry rant like in the past, I'm long over making those, just an analysis and my perspective: I'm hoping people understand this, especially on Furaffinity where anything that touches a worldly subject is a risk for me to post even in good faith, I was nervous about writing this but am partly doing it to give a chance to the idea that there's still some ability to communicate and say what's on our minds. I'm not enjoying the pain many around me are going through, some are people I care for who are in a lot of fear and there's not much I can do. I also need to make it clear that no, I don't like nor support Trump, even if I no longer share the horror everyone else has over him: I'm not even from the US, if I was I'd have never voted for either of those two parties and any candidates they produce, if I did vote I'd be voting libertarian every time even if they're perpetually third place. From the start I decided I wouldn't care about the outcome of this election. Since Trump's win was announced last night, I've been watching almost everyone I know fall in a deep depression… something I did too when he first won in 2016, long before a lot of things changed for me.

What I don't understand is how today in 2024 so much hope was put into this one election, a hope people still had. How many thought that if the right person wins, there was still a positive direction for this world to take. That a fight for all that is good was lost just now because this one man won, a fight that still existed and could be won if only this one dude hadn't made it in office. Many don't seem to realize humanity at its core is broken by design and beyond repair right now; Trump, Kamala… I fail to see how these silly figures make any difference when everyone hates everyone else anyway, any ability to communicate and get along has long vanished, and we can all see the system was doomed to fail very soon and very abruptly. If anything it may affect the speed at which it's all happening ever so slightly.

Let me to ask you something: Is Trump the reason why this year I was left without my only income and job I could have, because I refused to DOX myself to Patreon and have my art associated with my name / photo / address / family by complete strangers? Is Trump the reason why I don't feel like creating art any more because I can't safely post what I enjoy doing on this internet even for free? Is Trump the reason why I'm constantly nervous I may be banned from services I still rely on and at least able to watch what others create, over something I don't imagine would offend and may have even said a decade ago and long forgotten? Is Trump the reason why the Xonotic team with whom I spent 15 years working turned on me out of nowhere while we were in the middle of working on code? Is Trump the reason why an artist I follow had to flee France after being arrested for making drawings deemed immoral by the state? Is Trump the reason why if anyone who isn't a commercial animation studio posts an animation containing anthro or dragon characters in some art styles on Youtube, the video is instantly restricted or deleted with their entire channel? Is Trump the reason why I walk on eggshells around the few people I still interact with, because if I say one thing the wrong way I'll be perceived as some maniac and they turn on me next? Is Trump responsible for the world doing its best to ruin my life or the little I ever had of one?

All those things and more happened even without him. Off the top of my head I can't even think of a conservative or Trump supporter that caused me this grief over the years, though I'm sure many would gladly join in given the chance. It was at the hands of those with whom I once thought I had a common goal, who stabbed me (and themselves) in the back just when I believed that maybe I could have a place in this world to some degree and give humanity a chance, who use words like tolerance and acceptance and inclusion almost religiously yet their polar opposites are all I ever got from them. Why then should I worry about Trump and am expected to see him as the root of all evil?! Sure, I don't expect the situation to improve with him of all people, I don't expect anything to improve again with anyone… but it's beyond me how this made anything worse than it would be regardless.

Like I said I'm not happy with what's happening and won't feed off of anyone's suffering, but I definitely feel I'm right to say one thing: The desperation everyone feels over Trump winning is a thing many caused to others whether they realize it or not. They're experiencing what it's like to have the majority of those around you and a world you believed in slap you in the face, tell you that what you need and feel doesn't matter to them, that you need to suck it up and deal with it because others have "real issues" unlike you, that you come second place to what they decided is important. This lesson is one I do think the world at large needed to face. Which isn't to say it will learn from it, oh I strongly doubt that… but many are at least seeing what it's like to be on the receiving end, and it's definitely not pretty.

[weebsinstash]

Thank you so much for taking your time to answer in such detail! I didn’t realize that there is such a risk involved in doing commissions for existing series.

Now, Tumblr’s new feature just seems like yet another great way of shooting themselves in the foot. They already lost a good amount of traffic due to their NSFW ban back in 2018, and now this? It’s like Tumblr wants to shut down. smh I really wonder how many artists will leave this time because of this bullshit. :/

No problem! I'm a pretty chatty person sometimes so I can really ramble off and on, so glad to hear it helped this time!

But yeah, while the whole post+ thing is optional, and you can make it apply to a post by post basis, i don't think that's going to matter.

Here's the thing: I think even if someone had all of their post+ posts as completely original content, if they have content from other IPs on their blog, and I mean literally just reblogs or gifsets or normal tumblr things, that there's still a potential legal issue there, because post+ is a subscription feature, a subscription for a blog, blogs that can contain other properties on them, and while you may not be charging money for that IP directly on your paid posts, they're all still "connected" by being on your blog, which is making money that does not go back to the original creator

Though honestly let me say Tumblr is going to get into soooooooooo much more trouble than any of us because not only are they implementing this whole system, but they take a cut of your subscription fees, so while all of us might be making small chump change should we actually monetize, Tumblr is going to accumulate wealth from all of those hundreds and hundreds fees into real substantial money. Money that by definition does not belong to them, because all those monetized blogs are filled with Sherlock and Homestuck and Supernatural and Marvel and Disney and-- you get the point

Even I'm skirting the line. I say "oh donate if you like my blog or writing" without asking payment for any specific work in particular or specific, but the overall sum of my blog and my works is fanfiction therefore to even ask for donations in that general sense is still... yeah not technically allowed

So yeah I have no idea what the tumblr team is thinking like, they must not have any legal counsel or any legal advice they sought out before making this announcement. Literally even just the articles published about this massive change to the website is going to draw the attention of all those mega corporations before any of us get noticed, like ringing a massive alarm that says "HEY THIS WEBSITE IS GONNA STEAL YOUR SHIT"

Or... everything could be fine. But I doubt it because the capitalist world is fucking cutthroat and everything is about money, everything. The best outcome to this scenario i can think of is that tumblr is purchased by some massive media company and the site is forced to conform to whatever they want the site to be. Worst case is tumblr fucking vanishes without any warning and all of us lose our drafts and our fans and our only ways of contacting certain people because staff bailed and deleted without giving us any time to prepare. Guess we'll wait and see 💀 yall know where I am on ao3 and if something crazy happens to tumblr i can always put my new account in my bio on there

[forzafinally]

desi parents have an obsession with knowing everything abt their kids' lives, but if yk everything is that good parenting or bad?

Uh I would have to say bad parenting because the thing is it's one thing to know everything about a child's life but it doesn't stop there. It usually progresses to having strong opinions about what the child is doing wrong and then telling the child how to correct their behaviour while also taking measures to "help" the kid go back to what they think is acceptable.

Now this often becomes suffocating in the sense that suppose if a kid is doing something like idk sketching for fun and selling prints on etsy. It isn't considered to be a productive activity. It's certainly not going to give the child marks in the NEET or JEE exams. Parents will usually see it as a distraction from studies and may end up asking the child to give it up. Now the thing is that from the ages of 13-18 teens are in this really frustrating position of developing their own thoughts and opinions about things because that's how we transition from childhood to adulthood but at the same time are often considered as not knowing their own minds by virtue of the fact that they're minors. Now personally my thought process at 24 is a lot different than it was at 16 which is pretty much the same for all of us as we grow up and learn more about the world in general.

The problem lies in the fact that if a child is exploring sketching as I said above they may change their mind about that hobby later on. They may get bored of it or decide on their own that monetising it is a lot more effort than it's worth. Now this comes across to parents as the kid not knowing their own mind or being fickle. Which then progresses to "how can we trust you to make your own decisions when you ended up giving up on something you wanted to do so from now on we as your parents will tell you what to do." Now both of these situations have the same outcome. The child gives up sketching to do let's say engineering. But if the child had decided for themself that sketching isn't for them atleast they have the satisfaction of knowing that they tried something and they failed. Yes maybe they were wrong but this helps them grow as a person and develop the ability to make decisions. No-one makes correct decisions all the time. All of mess up repeatedly. But unless you take a decision on your own for the first time you will never develop the confidence to take bigger ones in the future. In the situation where the parents shut the kid down banning sketching it leads to resentment and a lot of bitterness. Yeah the kid may still do engineering but they will always have that huge question of "what might have been"

One major exception to all of this is your grades. I don't care how unpopular this take may be but you absolutely need to keep your parents in the loop regarding your academics. The work ethic you develop as a teen is something that stays with you for life and the effort that you put into your studies at that stage pays major dividends in the future. I'm not saying that you can't catch up later on but the effort you will have to put in at the age of 22 compared at 16 will be atleast tenfold. Hit the books in high school. Do the absolute best you can. Because those grades you get in class 12 give you some of the richest rewards possible for the least amount of effort (yeah ik a lot of you are going to say that we have to attend school and coaching and it's so difficult but trust me if you focus now your future self will thank you)

Coming back to the original question it's tricky trying to balance not having autonomy and trying to figure out the person you are. Similarly with sexuality, majority of the desis I know figured stuff out well into their twenties because we finally got some breathing room away from our parents to analyse things for ourselves. To answer your question I often feel that parents knowing every aspect especially in the desi context often makes you feel like certain decisions are absolute. It kind of makes things permanent and puts added pressure to stick to your word and do what you decided to do at the age of 15 when you may change your mind a few years later (again a completely normal aspect of growing up). So imo it's best to strike a balance between things that they Need To Know like your grades (yes they do and this is one thing I'm not going to change my mind on lol), Optional like maybe your favourite music and movies, hobbies, stuff about your friends and absolutely not required like your sexuality and romantic relationships because these are the two most common things that parents usually hold a child to.

If you're lucky enough to have a parent who's willing to accept your life choices as a neutral party and isn't going to hold your mistakes against you then feel free to ignore whatever I just said but if you have a typical desi parent who has a tendency for interference then yeah it's absolutely on a need to know basis lol

[anyroads]

Not to be That Guy but I'm a bit tired of the all-or-nothing discourse on photographing/filming strangers in public. There were generations of conversations on street photography before ya'll came along with your hot takes, and it's much more interesting to think about how social media impacts that dialgoue than to just go yay/nay at a complex topic like you're the audience in a Roman colosseum. So here are my own hot takes:

No, it's not OK to exploit strangers just so you can get social media views.

No, it's not OK that it's become common practice to commodify experiences and connections with others into social media cache at the cost of having sincere interpersonal interactions.

Yes, it's OK to capture a person or moment that speaks to you, makes you feel something, and share it with others for the sake of sharing that experience.

Yes, it's OK to appreciate and share the connection you had with a stranger because they were interesting or made you curious.

Yes, sometimes people are learning and their photo/video may not be good (ie. not framed well, not focused correctly, etc.) but their effort may be sincere.

The reaction to the tik-tokification of the world shouldn't be to do the opposite and enforce a ban on others, but to think critically and just be thoughtful in general about how you you live your life in public and in private, whether you differentiate between the two, and how you choose to use tools like the camera on your phone to keep an account of your experiences in the world. Generations of street photographers have given us invaluable insight into what everyday life was like over the past century. What has changed the conversation recently is that cameras are now available to most people, the number of photos taken no longer limited by the finite nature of film, and the ability to show others increased massively. This makes this discussion more complex, if anything, and not as simplistic as thinking that photographing/filming strangers without their consent is inherently bad.

If you feel compelled to photograph or film someone in public, just ask yourself why and what you want to do with it. If you want to post it on social media, is your account locked and only visible to friends you want to share it with, or are you trying to get likes and followers? Why? Have you done any reading on the history of street photography and how photographers like Andre Kertesz or Lee Friedlander approached the process and whether that's something that could be applied today? Are you one of those people who reblogged posts about Vivian Maier when her photos were discovered but now frowns on tik-tokification but never connected or compared the two?

My point is, even though posting images of strangers on social media can be exploitative, it isn't inherently so and we should also be wary of stigmatizing the act instead of the intention/outcome and making it an all or nothing thing, because street photography is very much an art form, and we should make sure we don't discourage anyone from creating art just because we didn't want to think critically about what it is they're doing. And tbh I think it's a good exercise, just as a human being, to learn to ask individuals probing questions that make them think about their art - and their actions - instead of just either shutting them down or putting them on a pedestal.

I don’t have time to draw it right now but while driving home from the winco I saw a happy mustached man pedaling a bike, towing a cart built to look like a chariot, inside of which stood what I can only imagine was his completely expressionless 13 year old in a makeshift corinthian helmet

[justinsdaysinthedark]

Post # 6 - It is what it is

I'd be lying if I said I haven't spent the past half an hour with tears flowing from my eyes staring at a blank screen wondering how I'm going to get everything I've got floating in my head out. I suppose listening to Coldplay live in Argentina probably wasn't the best choice of music to set the mood. I'll work on that one in the future...

Where do I start? It's been a question I'm often asking myself at the start of these blog posts and it's certainly not the easiest one. What do you guys know? There's been so much happen since my last post on Thursday night.

Friday July 26th: I saw my doctors around lunchtime who came in quite concerned. Whilst they were confident my lymphoma was one called DLBCL (Diffuse Large B- Cell Lymphoma), some tests had come back with suspect results that it could be a more aggressive and harsh type of lymphoma called Burkitt's lymphoma and if confirmed, chemo was starting that night with no time to waste. There was also one marked in the middle (a cross of the two) called Burkitt's Like Lymphoma which is treated similarly to DLBCL. Whatever it was, I couldn't change it. I just wanted answers and if treatment needed to start, let's get it underway!

Adam, my incredible haematology doctor sent off another test of my gall bladder to finally get the confirmation I was after. It was urgent. He had to know. It was reassuring of Adam to state "Justin, we need to know what this is. Preliminary results are due back later this afternoon and that will hopefully rule out Burkitt's. if it is Burkitt's, we'll start chemo tonight and I'll be with you every step of the way - even if I have to stay back a few hours."

I know doctors earn a fair coin on a lazy day, but how many give you that much confidence that you and your health is important to them? I'm going to have it a guess and say not many but alas, I am so incredibly lucky with the team of doctors I have.

4:00pm and Adam strolls in the door heading straight for my room. My heart drops, similarly to what it had when Michael dropped the news I had lymphoma. "Good news. Preliminary results are back and we're confident it's not Burkitt's. You can't rule out anything in life, so there still is a small chance it could be. We're happy to wait for the final results on Monday, figure out a treatment plan from there and start Chemotherapy next week. Spend Saturday and Sunday on day leave and I'll see you next week."

This was news to my ears. In a time of what has been negative or no news, I could spend the weekend with family relatively freely and forget everything was happening for a few hours each day. My Uncle Bob and Aunty Denise were down from Tasmania to see me, as was my Aunty AJ and cousins from Bairnsdale so it all felt like it fit into place.

Friday night saw me considerably more relaxed with this news...that was until Collingwood started and it was the demolition it was. Slightly humorous side note, the nurse came in around 9pm for my nightly observations. Naturally, my heart rate was up a bit more than normal watching the football (118BPM - normally between 70-85BPM). This caused the nurse to call in the team of doctors who wanted to put me on an ECG machine for the night and monitor my heart. I assured them it was because Collingwood were on and if they gave me an hour, I'd be okay. It took some convincing, but it finally worked. Back they came an hour later and it had gone down - crisis averted.

Saturday afternoon and evening was wonderful. I went down to dads for dinner and was fortunate enough to spend some much needed time with family over a beautiful dinner and good laugh.

Sunday was much the same. I went home, mum did a fair chunk of washing for me as I spent it being me. Seeing Courtney, napping in my own bed and even headed over to Fountain Gate and got some much needed new clothes and other miscellaneous items - something that seems so simple but is such a luxury when you've spent the past 15 days in hospital.

Monday July 29th: They say the more you think positively, the more positive news you shall receive....or it goes something like that right? I woke up this morning the most upbeat and best I'd felt in weeks. I felt fine. I felt no pain, almost like I'd woken up from a shitty hotel! In all honesty, I felt like I'm abusing the system however I keep being quickly reminded how much I need to be here. Did I wake up so positive because I lived my old life for 16 hours over the weekend? Is it because I was hoping to hear a reasonably positive outcome with this lymphoma test? Probably a mix of both if I'm honest. But whatever it was, I was hopeful.

Adam came around at roughly 10:00am. Didn't really have much for me in terms of news but more of an outline of the day. If they hear the results of the test they were waiting on, they'd write me up a treatment plan ASAP and get chemo started this afternoon. At worst, I'd be starting it tomorrow (Tuesday). They just needed that definitive answer of what type of lymphoma I have - an answer I'd love more than anybody.

Either way, we agreed i'd need a PICC (Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter) line in which basically is a long-term cannula. It runs from the inside of my arm right up and around and stops basically just outside my heart. This is for easy access for the chemotherapy and even an easy exit for blood tests - something that's proven incredibly difficult to take from me over the past few days. Additionally, these lines can last up to six months verses the three days you get from a cannula. There were too many positives to say no to!

This wasn't scheduled for any time in particular, so 1:00pm came around and I was about to be taken to get the PICC line in.

Just as I was about to leave, Adam came in with a few words I'm all too familiar with. "Well, the pathology tests we were waiting on have come back inconclusive..."

Woah. Wait. What? How do tests of my gall bladder that was removed six days ago come back inconclusive? How does one of the main sources not have enough 'data' to tell them what sort of lymphoma I have? I was just stunned.

Adam continued "As a result, we can see some signs of Burkitt's lymphoma and that's what we're going to treat you for. You're young. You should be able to handle it and it's better to over treat you than under treat and be stuck where we are at the moment. It's an intense 16-day chemo treatment that will totally wipe out your red and white blood cells as well as your platelets. We foresee you being in here for another 3-5 weeks, depending on how well your body goes getting these levels back up to normal post this first treatment..."

I honestly say this but that's all I remember from this conversation. I was hoping I'd be heading home this week but looks like that definitely won't be happening. Today marks day 40 of the past 55 days in hospital (day 15 of this stint) and if I go off the longest suggested time expected, I have another 35 days to go. That honestly crushed me.

I got taken down to get my PICC line in - quite an easy process. Very similar to putting in a larger cannula, just a whole lot longer and uses local anaesthetic as well as being guided by an ultrasound and X-ray. I'm lucky enough to have two ports, which will hopefully speed up some of my medication and how much they can pump in. Does it feel weird? The only weird part was feeling it slide down past and near my heart - but that's okay now!

By the time I return, dad made his was in to try and help process the news. We get Adam in to once again explain the process. In layman's terms, I'll be starting an intense and high-dose 16-day chemotherapy program kicking off tomorrow (Tuesday) morning. Most of the time across the next 16 days, I'll be hooked up via IV drip getting whatever medication is required. I think I saw I have rest days on days 7 & 8 which I suppose will give me two days to look forward to. At the end of the day, it's something I'm not certain on and will be a day by day process and constant learning about what's going into my body to help fight with me.

I do have one request for you all. With my body not producing red or white blood cells or platelets over the next few weeks, I do request if you are planning to visit however are sick to stay away those extra few days. With my immune system going to be at the lowest it's been, I don't particularly want to pick up something I don't need. Additionally, as much as I'd love flowers, they're also banned due to the infection risk of the spores mixing with the chemotherapy and causing some dangerous damage from the inside.

At the end of the day, if you're not sure please message me and check as I'm not entirely sure myself about everything. I'm constantly learning as I'm going.

How am I feeling? I'm nervous. I'm nervous at the unknown. How will this affect me? How bad am I going to feel? Will I lose my hair? What will my energy levels be like? In advance, I do apologise if over the next few weeks I'm not myself. Truth be told, that's because I probably won't be.

In a way, i'm finally excited to start my treatment first thing tomorrow morning (after yet ANOTHER lumbar puncture). I was so envious of both people next to me getting their first rounds of chemo today. I know mine will be intense but I just can't wait.

I've learnt so much about cancer and chemotherapy over the past four days and I know there's so much more to learn. Today I learnt I'll be incredibly highly cytotoxic, which basically means all needles and anything used on me need to go in a separate bin just for me. Additionally, I'll have to get used to the good old double flush after the toilet to ensure all waste is disposed of. Mouth ulcers are a big issue with most chemo patients as well. I'll have to start brushing my teeth after every meal and taking a special mouthwash 3x daily to assist with keeping these under control. There's plenty of other little things, but they're two I least expected.

Everything really hit me last night....not like it did tonight though. I just had twenty minutes to reflect and it just became a sudden realisation. What I'm going through is real. It's not a 'joke' anymore. It's not something they're looking at as a potential cause. It is the cause. I have a legitimate medical issue and it's finally time to fight lymphoma. All well and good to be talking the talk like I have been - it's now time to walk the walk. This sits well with me. If I give somebody my word, I do whatever I can to get it achieved. Unfortunately for the lymphoma throughout my body I've given it my word and it's time to fight it. Round one begins tomorrow morning.

I leave tonight feeling a whole lot better than I did when I started tonight's post. I didn't learn from my words earlier as Coldplay live from Argentina is still playing however I'm in a much more comfortable mind space.

My best friend of a lazy 20 years, Dylan visited tonight with his partner, Jacqui. One phrase popped up more than most and they made me aware it was a common phrase coming out of my mouth.

"It is what it is."

I can't control what's happened to me as "it is what it is." What I can control from here though is how I fight lymphoma. Thanks for the visit tonight guys, I appreciated the two hours spent here in what's been an incredibly tough afternoon.

Much love.

Juzz xx

[reading-writing-revolution]

Don't be an asshole; don't be like Trump. Give a fuck.

I'm not and have never been a liberal (I've never voted for a Clinton) - I'm a registered Independent and always have been, and I agree with every word of what's below the dotted line.

I don't consider this to be a liberal standpoint at all. I consider it to be a "I'm not an asshole" standpoint, or a "We could solve these problems if we actually gave a fuck about other people" standpoint, but too many people in power or privilege are too threatened by these ideas. They think liberty and dignity and rights are finite commodities, and if someone gets equal amounts, another person might get less - less liberty, less dignity, fewer rights. This is stupidity in action, but Americans, in general, are not known for critical thinking, and politicians prefer citizens dumb and pliant.

Think again. In a country that put a man on the moon and won two world wars, we can't solve these problems? Sure we can. But we won't because too many people are too happy to let their neighbors suffer. If you're one of them, read this, then go slam your hand in a door, then come read it again and get a fucking clue...maybe the pain will help you think clearer and you can salvage some of your humanity.

You're welcome.

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"I'm getting a little tired of being told what I believe and what I stand for. I'm liberal, but that doesn't mean what a lot of you apparently think it does.

Let's break it down, shall we? Spoiler alert: Not every liberal is the same, though the majority of liberals I know think along roughly these same lines:

1. I believe a country should take care of its weakest members. A country cannot call itself civilized when its children, disabled, sick, and elderly are neglected. Period.

2. I believe healthcare is a right, not a privilege. Somehow that's interpreted as "I believe Obamacare is the end-all, be-all." This is not the case. I'm fully aware that the ACA has problems, that a national healthcare system would require everyone to chip in, and that it's impossible to create one that is devoid of flaws, but I have yet to hear an argument against it that makes "let people die because they can't afford healthcare" a better alternative. I believe healthcare should be far cheaper than it is, and that everyone should have access to it. And no, I'm not opposed to paying higher taxes in the name of making that happen.

3. I believe education should be affordable and accessible to everyone. It doesn't necessarily have to be free (though it works in other countries so I'm mystified as to why it can't work in the US), but at the end of the day, there is no excuse for students graduating college saddled with five- or six-figure debt.

4. I don't believe your money should be taken from you and given to people who don't want to work. I have literally never encountered anyone who believes this. Ever. I just have a massive moral problem with a society where a handful of people can possess the majority of the wealth while there are people literally starving to death, freezing to death, or dying because they can't afford to go to the doctor. Fair wages, lower housing costs, universal healthcare, affordable education, and the wealthy actually paying their share would go a long way toward alleviating this. Somehow believing that makes me a communist.

5. I don't throw around "I'm willing to pay higher taxes" lightly. If I'm suggesting something that involves paying more, well, it's because I'm fine with paying my share as long as it's actually going to something besides lining corporate pockets or bombing other countries while Americans die without healthcare.

6. I believe companies should be required to pay their employees a decent, livable wage. Somehow this is always interpreted as me wanting burger flippers to be able to afford a penthouse apartment and a Mercedes. What it actually means is that no one should have to work three full-time jobs just to keep their head above water. Restaurant servers should not have to rely on tips, multibillion-dollar companies should not have employees on food stamps, workers shouldn't have to work themselves into the ground just to barely make ends meet, and minimum wage should be enough for someone to work 40 hours and live.

7. I am not anti-Christian. I have no desire to stop Christians from being Christians, to close churches, to ban the Bible, to forbid prayer in school, etc. (BTW, prayer in school is NOT illegal; *compulsory* prayer in school is - and should be - illegal). All I ask is that Christians recognize *my* right to live according to *my* beliefs. When I get pissed off that a politician is trying to legislate Scripture into law, I'm not "offended by Christianity" -- I'm offended that you're trying to force me to live by your religion's rules. You know how you get really upset at the thought of Muslims imposing Sharia law on you? That's how I feel about Christians trying to impose biblical law on me. Be a Christian. Do your thing. Just don't force it on me or mine.

8. I don't believe LGBT people should have more rights than you. I just believe they should have the *same* rights as you.

9. I don't believe illegal immigrants should come to America and have the world at their feet, especially since THIS ISN'T WHAT THEY DO (spoiler: undocumented immigrants are ineligible for all those programs they're supposed to be abusing, and if they're "stealing" your job it's because your employer is hiring illegally). I'm not opposed to deporting people who are here illegally, but I believe there are far more humane ways to handle undocumented immigration than our current practices (i.e., detaining children, splitting up families, ending DACA, etc).

10. I don't believe the government should regulate everything, but since greed is such a driving force in our country, we NEED regulations to prevent cut corners, environmental destruction, tainted food/water, unsafe materials in consumable goods or medical equipment, etc. It's not that I want the government's hands in everything -- I just don't trust people trying to make money to ensure that their products/practices/etc. are actually SAFE. Is the government devoid of shadiness? Of course not. But with those regulations in place, consumers have recourse if they're harmed and companies are liable for medical bills, environmental cleanup, etc. Just kind of seems like common sense when the alternative to government regulation is letting companies bring their bottom line into the equation.

11. I believe our current administration is fascist. Not because I dislike them or because I can’t get over an election, but because I've spent too many years reading and learning about the Third Reich to miss the similarities. Not because any administration I dislike must be Nazis, but because things are actually mirroring authoritarian and fascist regimes of the past.

12. I believe the systemic racism and misogyny in our society is much worse than many people think, and desperately needs to be addressed. Which means those with privilege -- white, straight, male, economic, etc. -- need to start listening, even if you don't like what you're hearing, so we can start dismantling everything that's causing people to be marginalized.

13. I am not interested in coming after your blessed guns, nor is anyone serving in government. What I am interested in is sensible policies, that just MIGHT save one person’s, perhaps a toddler’s, life by the hand of someone who should not have a gun. (Got another opinion? Put it on your page, not mine).

14. I believe in so-called political correctness. I prefer to think it’s social politeness. If I call you Chuck and you say you prefer to be called Charles I’ll call you Charles. It’s the polite thing to do. Not because everyone is a delicate snowflake, but because as Maya Angelou put it, when we know better, we do better. When someone tells you that a term or phrase is more accurate/less hurtful than the one you're using, you now know better. So why not do better? How does it hurt you to NOT hurt another person?

15. I believe in funding sustainable energy, including offering education to people currently working in coal or oil so they can change jobs. There are too many sustainable options available for us to continue with coal and oil. Sorry, billionaires. Maybe try investing in something else.

16. I believe that women should not be treated as a separate class of human. They should be paid the same as men who do the same work, should have the same rights as men including decisions about their own bodies, and should be free from abuse. Why on earth shouldn’t they be?

I think that about covers it. Bottom line is that I'm liberal because I think we should take care of each other. That doesn't mean you should work 80 hours a week so your lazy neighbor can get all your money. It just means I don't believe there is any scenario in which preventable suffering is an acceptable outcome as long as money is saved."

Author unknown