#so they can kinda stack like crazy hahah

[salamispots]

mom while setting up mahjong: aren't you going to be uncomfortable sitting sideways like that in the chair?

me: do you not see me sitting like a little gargoyle in my computer chair

[madmadmilk]

girl will u be sharing the whole meeting tom experience like what did he say what did he smell like i know very creepy but IM SO CURIOUS HDHDHDH

OKAY, STORY-TIME ––> long read with reaction pics

first thing, WOW. he had a crazy, crazy, crazy long-ass schedule. he was in LA saturday, and philly on sunday by 9 AM? probably? then i knew his projected schedule was panel from 10-10:45, 11pm photo op, 1 pm autograph, 3 pm photo op, 4 pm autograph. totally stacked! i signed up for the photos at 3 cos that’s easier for me….

little did i know… how long it would take……………….…

so, his whole schedule got pushed like an hour-ish back? like no real consequence to me, but it made me feel really anxious and just like, whew, thinking that he kept a smile on for like hours & hours. and all i could think of was that i hope he had like an iced coffee or like food or something cos that’s CRAZY. but yeah–––– i got to pass the time with some tumblr friends :) ( @spidey-waffles11 & @seamless-hart ) and my boyfriend but he’s whatever 😛

but OK time rolls up (4:50 PM), i get in line–– and i’m there for SO LONG. but it was ok cos i was talking to this dad & daughter and they were really nice. there were some like super  young girls behind me and they had like cute matching spider-man shirts but i was still looking at them like 🙂 . a part of me felt really extra cos i was really out there with false lashes and a BRIGHT RED dress. for reference, i looked like this:

cute, i know. this is my armor, and even tho a part of me felt kinda flashy and garrish…. i don’t care! it makes me feel CONFIDENT! but yeah–– do, do, do~ we get through the line, drop off our bags and i feel like we went through a mini-maze of black curtains and then––

HE WAS FUCKING RIGHT THERE THROUGH THE OPEN DOORWAY! i like turned the corner, and was kinda looking to my side at the lady directing and then to the family in front of me–– and then he was there. idk what i expected but i was just like 😦

ok, ok, ok so i think maybe he was looking up to see how many people were next but i’m going to just sit here and believe that MY RED-ASS DRESS caught his eye cos he literally:

looked at ME, then to the family in front of me as they came to him, but back at me as i walked over to wait. he raised his eyebrows and i smiled back and like, i think he looked at my hand cos i was like holding my wrist cos i was like, “oohhhh shit how the fuck do i stand like a regular person” but yeah either way it was like a back and forth–– that i’m probably romanticizing ALL HELL out of. but i was watching him so-– I SAW WHAT I SAW lol. 

and then the family left and i still waited cos i’m polite like that and then he like waved his arm for me to come over and i was like 😧. then i think i literally hopped over and like rolled my shoulders back cos yeah and i smiled soooo hard and i think all i managed to say was , “heeey” 

“hi! hello––” he waves me over again and i slide next to him while laughing. 

i’m pretty sure i bit my fucking lip and like... no, no one does that in real life. god dammit.

“how are you?” i TRY to ask in a exasperated voice

and i think he just said, “yeah” (cos we were moving really fast it’s ok) and looked forward lmao

but i like was able to look at his face and i was literally like 😫 . what bb cream are you using sis???? it was too fast, i didn’t really absorb anything haha. but wow his lips really look like that i guess haha and i really fit into his side, like alright bro. this is where i belong i guess.

and cos of the time crunch of being super, super late i didn’t really get to talk to him cos it was just like photo time. i didn’t have a pose in mind, i just wanted to be WITH him that’s it.

so i put my hand around his waist and wow he’s lean! and he carries himself super tall, if that makes sense. he stands up pretty straight? but relaxed at the same time? and i think his hand was like on my upper back, near my shoulder but TBH i don’t KNOW. i just felt him press next to me. 

uh, everyone keeps asking me what he smells like but i’m pretty sure i didn’t breathe until he let go. and then i was like, “ ah, soap. “

but after the flash of the photo i like turned to him and jfc i was really close. i’m kinda used to standing that close cos my bf is that height but 😬 . he smiled at me and just quickly said.

“hi, thank you so much for coming out.” 

and i was like, “no, thank you!” and he kinda guided my back to the direction of the exit and i was like 😣 and i think???? i called back to say, “take care!” but maybe that was just my brain idk

but then?????? he walked next to me for a second? like we walked to the exit together and i was like??????? like there people in the corner i was passing, and he stopped by them. i looked at him again and he smiled and nodded at me.

this was me: 👀

hahahah and then he grabbed a water bottle someone offered to him and i heard him say,

“can you get my bag..? and grab my air pods”

and i like audibly laughed as i left, idk why that was just so funny to me. like there you go rich king. good! for! you!

and WOW. the family from before waited for me and they were like, “how was it?”

hahah and it was so lame cos i was suddenly BLUSHING so fucking hard like 30 seconds after it all happened hahahahahahahah ok but i couldn’t stop thinking about how he like looked at me in the doorway, and even if it doesn’t mean anything imma never let it go hahaha

anyway, he was really nice and his voice was still so excited and lively even tho he’s probably talked to like thousands of people that day. like his charisma was super charming in all of the 20 seconds i really saw him.

lol this is how the photo turned out:

AND YOU KNOW WHAT? i’m really haaaaappy with it! i’m kinda smiling too hard but lol THAT’S TOM FUCKING HOLLAND AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

so ya know, idk if i’ll ever see him like ever again? or if i’ll still always be into him as i have been but–– wow. what an experience to have with the way i am now. hope he’s getting a good night’s rest, and lots of warm hugs from his loved ones! thanks tom! thanks keystone comic con! and thank YOU GUYS for holding me together! 💛

[spock-smokes-weed]

I’m not an eldest child, but I do have a younger sibling who is six years younger than me so I’ve been parentified in many ways. Especially since I’m the only one who has similars and overlapping interests, I’m just kinda expected to take care of him.

And like I love the kid so I don’t mind spending time with him, but my parents are taking a trip to Mexico rn and it was just kinda dropped on me that I’d be overseeing everything. They’re also going to be gone over his birthday (🙄) so my mom was like “okay so you’ll be in charge of his birthday plans while we’re out of town. Ur the best ❤️”

It’s really frustrating you know? Like first off why are you taking an international vacation in the first place, secondly DURING HIS BIRTHDAY??? He’s turning 13 it’s a big number. And again while I don’t mind taking him out to dinner and giving him presents and spending time with him, I’m a college student who works. And now my plate is stacked with having to cook him dinner and watching over him on top of that.

Like I have two projects that needs to be done by next week, but I can’t go to campus for open lab hours because either I have to watch him and I’m at work. So now I have to gesso paint at home (which is such a pain in the ass) and stay super late on Monday so I can finish coil building some pots. And I’m just like frustrated.

And like my parents work really hard, they’re both workaholics and having five kids is hard. And I know they need a vacation, but still I’m just so frustrated. I don’t like this mentality of “well we’ve had so many kids already so we get to tap out when we want” when like bro that’s not how this works. My mom even jokingly said I would be her stand in while they were away… and I just had to be like :) hahah that’s not weird at all.

Idk man, I’m just really stressed about how I’m going to get my school work done while so much of my time is full. And leaving some free time for myself so I don’t go crazy :/