#so there might be a whole bunch of great ones that i've just missed out on!

[kinnbig]

have you done ramking fic recs?

👀 have you read my three ramking fics? 👀

.....okay I have to speak my truth 🫣 I haven't done any recs, and to be honest... that is because I have unfortunately not read very many ramking fics that I can wholeheartedly say I recommend 😬

(huge disclaimer that this is all just my personal opinion - I'm not saying anything is objectively bad or trying to tell people what they should or shouldn't write and enjoy - these are just my own subjective reasons for not having anything to recommend)

maybe I am just incredibly picky when it comes to fanfic (okay I definitely am) but the biggest thing I need to enjoy a fic is characterisation... if it doesn't feel like I'm actually reading about the characters I fell in love with, then what's the point? and yeah... a lot of ramking fic decides that once Ram and King are together, Ram is able to easily express his emotions verbally and just talk completely freely no problem. and obviously that's fine, everyone interprets characters in different ways - but I personally find it super frustrating and just kind of like

the other big thing is that a lot (and I mean a lot) of ramking fic leans very heavily into a kind of seme/uke husband/wife top/bottom dynamic that just isn't there for them in the show, and that imo completely mischaracterises both Ram and King (but especially Ram), and totally misses everything that is interesting and unique and compelling about their relationship to me. so many fics characterise Ram as this Big Strong Buff Intimidating Masculine Dom Top Protector and King as this Small Slender Gentle Feminine Submissive Bottom and it's just... not for me lol.

(also in the show Ram is the same height as King and not actually significantly broader than him, which. you would not know from reading fanfiction!)

so. yeah I am yet to find a ramking fic that is both well-written and commits neither of those sins, unfortunately... sorry, I know this isn't the answer you were hoping for! 🫣

[theminecraftbee]

I'm really glad to have found the Hermitcraft fandom here on Tumblr, I've been a long time fan and it's awesome to discover all this great fanart and content and stuff. Any must-follow MCYT/Hermitcraft/Minecraft blogs?

oh gosh, welcome! in general i am BAD about remembering who i follow and who i don't; a great way to find who you want to follow might be to just go through the #hermitcraft tag and follow people you find funny, or, heck, if i reblog a lot of art from a certain artist you like (or not a lot, like one art even), go follow them!

while we're here, a few additional general etiquette rules (keeping in mind that like, this is tumblr, trying to claim ANYTHING is a whole-community norm is basically impossible i am claiming a norm from my specific circle of guys): do not crosstag, only tag things that are actually in your post. don't use the 'minecraft' tag, that tag is for people who like the actual game. (i mean, you can use it if you are posting about minecraft, but not if you're posting about the youtubers). it's generally considered rude to put your crit in the main tags, especially without tagging 'discourse' somewhere so it can be filtered. shipping should generally have a 'hermitshipping' tag on it for filtering purposes as well, but if something is tagged hermitshipping and you're mad about it just like, block them, they did the important part.

the hermits i know of on tumblr (could be more, idk): @/joehills @/pearlescentmoo @/falsesymmetry @/therealdocm77 (not actually active but has the account) @/geminitayyt. cleo also had an account but it is no longer active. also @/inthelittlewood is here and like very active, as is @/askzloyxp and @/quinnhills. as a general etiquette rule, just... act like they're perfectly ordinary tumblr users and continue your business as usual! and don't send them weird asks or anything.

off the top of my head, a few blogs i like, an EXTREMELY non-exhaustive list, find your own guys out there as well you won't regret it! like, you will find the experience you like best just going out there and looking for it yourself! i've absolutely missed a bunch of guys i love, let alone guys you would love! this is like 10 million percent non-exhaustive, i follow 1,570 blogs apparently, many of which aren't hermitcraft or mcyt related, but many of which are, so i just sorta. went for it. and when i was having trouble remembering if a name was a repeat that's when i stopped. so. non-exhaustive list:

@nightshadeowl, @jestroer, @astronomodome, @kingtheghast, @floweroflaurelin, @roenais, @silverskye13, @wasyago, @rusty-courage, @art-by-fate, @silverskye13, @redstonedust, @betweenlands, @sixteenth-days, @judas-iscaryot, @terracottakore, @cherrifire, @antimony-medusa, @hybbart, @made-nondescript, @luigra, @cuteiemonster, @mawofthemagnetar, @potionofinstantdamage, @concorp, @spiderziege, @salemoleander, @bc-jpeg, @magicalmanhattanproject, @simplydm, @12u3ie, @mishapen-dear, @lunarblazes, @girltimeswithscar, @kishdoodles, @quaranmine, @shadeswift99, @bdoubleowo, @quicksandblock, @beacon-lamp, @kikunai, @sideblague, @applestruda, @ingapotejtoo, @belmarzi, @strifetxt

anyway FEEL FREE TO PROMO GUYS OR YOURSELF ON THIS POST TOO! from what i understand we may be getting some new guys sometime soon here from the twitter lands? so it may be helpful to have that for anyone who's looking for new guys to follow!

and most of all: WELCOME!!!

[museaway]

As requested, here's how I trained myself to wash the dishes pretty much daily.

Dishes and laundry have always felt insurmountable to me. It's probably because they never end. I live alone and I don't have a dishwasher, so I have to do the dishes whether I like it or not. I would much, much rather watch YouTube than do chores, so here's how I get around that.

(It's long so I'll put it behind a cut.)

Disclaimer: What works for me might not work for you. We all have different lives and situations. Take what works for you and leave the rest.

--

Solution #1: Make it low commitment

Sometimes I look at the sink and think, "I have to wash all of these?? It's going to take FOREVER. I'll do it tomorrow."

On those days, I challenge myself to wash dishes for the length of one song. It doesn't matter how many dishes I wash, just that I wash them for as long as the song plays!

Sometimes the song will finish and I'll feel up to washing for just one more. Usually, I end up listening to three or four and clean the whole sink. But if the song ends and I want to go do something else, I'm allowed to.

Try working up to multiple times a day.

Make a playlist with songs that make you feel energized! I use anime OPs because they're loud and fun to sing to.

Be gentle with yourself. If you washed one cup, that's great! That's a clean cup! That's one more clean cup than you had one song ago.

You're taking care of yourself by doing this. Really, it's a great kindness you're doing yourself and your family by cleaning something! You deserve to be taken care of!

This method also works with putting away folded laundry. If you don't want to use music, set a timer. Work for 3 minutes and stop.

--

Solution #2: Gamify it

When I have a little more energy, the goal changes:

"Can I clear the sink before this song ends?"

"Can I wash all of these within three songs?"

"Can I wash this cup before the chorus?"

This technique really motivates me. I tend to focus and work efficiently since I'm trying to beat the song. If I don't make it, I usually give myself another song or two. It's rare that I stop until the sink is clear.

Whether you beat the song or not, you've washed a bunch of stuff, so you win either way!

This technique also works for putting sheets on the bed, dusting, taking the trash out ("can I get back before the song stops??"), etc. Timers can replace music here too.

--

Solution #3: Use a habit tracker

The above solutions got me to stop leaving dishes in the sink for three days, but I was still leaving them overnight. To train myself to wash the dishes every single day, I made it a nightly chore for a solid month.

I used a habit tracker so that I got to check it off every day! I love checklists, so this was terribly satisfying.

I've tried a slew of habit trackers and hate all of them except for this one by TheFor. It's simple, has color coding, supports habit-based goals (like dish washing 7 days a week, or sweeping the deck once a week), and displays an overview so that you can check if you missed any days! Free on the Apple and Play stores. This isn't sponsored; I'm just a fan.

It took a month for my new habit to form, but it did! I'll now go wash the dishes when I see them in the sink, although I still use the first two solutions to keep it from feeling like a chore again.

--

Hand-washing tips:

Dish gloves will save your hands! Get a pair you like

I like a wooden dish brush with a replaceable head

I think it helps to like the scent of your dish soap

Get big, easy-to-clean things out of the way first. They take up a huge amount of room in the sink and make the situation look worse than it really is. Think colanders, cookie sheets, the pot you only boiled water in.

Wash things in categories. For example, I like to wash all of the mugs at once. It seems to go faster that way.

Leave the hardest-to-clean stuff for last so it can soak.

Paring down my mug collection sincerely helped the mug overload. Maybe put spares in a drawer for a while.

Sing while you work

--

Here's my dish washing playlist

[thattimdrakeguy]

What Happens When You Only USED To Care

I find it extremely hard to take any person in the fandom that does that schtick where they make fun of Tim based on made up or overly exaggerated stuff seriously.

I can't even find it within myself to give them the power of my hate, because it's more like a fly near your ear. You swat em away and bye bye bye.

Maybe it's because I know so much about how DC ended up being, that I can tell when they're bullshitting and saying stuff others put in their ear.

I mean you take a kid's favorite toy, and add modifications and paint jobs that take away the whole point of the toy, the kid's aren't going to want to play with it anymore.

Am I expected to blame the toy itself?

Especially with how the fandom has bastardized these characters that they so clearly love, but they still constantly get cancelled.

And I won't make mention of who, because someone will get sensitive, and plus then say "WELL TIM DID TOO" showing they're completely missing my point and didn't read the whole post.

I'm not sure why the fandom thinks taking complex and fascinating characters that allowed readers to escape their potentially bleak lives to jump into something more joyful (at least in an entertainment kind of way) and turning them into sitcom tropes is a great idea that OH IS SO GREAT, and EVERYONE WILL PREFER.

'Cause when the comics start copying that trend, you're actually scaring most people away.

Sure it's different from the big bad edgy we had to deal with a while, but it's still not getting these things back to were the once were.

You're replacing the bad, with a different flavor of bad. This time coated in a superficial dusting of praise that doesn't help anything get anywhere.

See, the fandom isn't as big as it may seem. It functions as an echo chamber which gives the illusion of their being way more. These comics wouldn't constantly be cancelled if they were as good or as popular as people make them out to be.

So all those posts praising the nonsense are as functional as having that one friend who praises you no matter what while the rest of the world says otherwise. Might feel good at the time, but let's face it, it gets you nowhere.

And that's just how the internet works. A bunch of little weirdos sitting around making their chamber, and thinking what they say to someone else still matters.

But it don't.

It doesn't.

They're all just so confident they mean something, when they mean as much to the greater world as a weed so far out of view, you don't bother trying to pull it.

You can make up what ever you want, and try to be as abrasive and irritating about what you made up as much of you want, go out praising when some desperate writer that settles for brownie points over critical praise and legacy puts it into a comic to find validation also as much as you want.

But the lack of genuine interest from most people still leaves it as a dud.

So many characters people think are popular, when they're tragically not, no matter if they were formerly good, is saddening. Because a lot of these characters at one point were good, and interesting, and genuinely popular beyond the small pond filled with indignity.

At best they have fan bases that once cared but now no longer do. That don't bother paying attention, because why should they after being denied the simple thing they want--good writing and characterization. The whole reason most start reading in the first place.

I might point one finger at one of these dudes, because I can comfortably say I used to love them too.

No one bothers trying to help out, and bring them back up though.

They want the instant glorification from a bunch of nobodies, who don't care about them as a person, and are only a validation machine instead of anything with a beating heart in it that will truly be there for them when times gets rough besides thoughts and prayers alone.

And as many years as I've seen this stuff, it never stops.

If I haven't been in a better place since I've almost entirely left DC behind in the dust, I would consider that depressing.

These people are online doing this so much that it is what they dedicate their lives to.

It is their life.

They made themselves so unlikable though, that a lot can't be bothered to find pity.

If you have to rewrite reality in your brain, what's the point of living there? You're just convincing yourself you're the only one not wrong, with no hint of irony. What a weirdo thing to do.

Clinging on to things with no solid backing.

In the grand scheme of things they are that insignificant unless you're also stuck in the chamber.

Hell, the only reason I made this post as long as it is, is less out of care and passion, and more because I can't help myself from being overly wordy.

If only DC could be fucked to remember what it takes to write good stories instead of ripping fandom people off. Maybe something would click in and once again take off.

And giving the illusion they now care--

As we can see with the frequent cancelations--

That only works when you have the talent and know how, to tell good stories, with great characters once again. A retro paint job and partially putting the character where they should be can only do so much, when limited talent has to take the rest of the wheel.

Otherwise all you're gonna get is a month or two of decent sells...and it's back into the dumpster again. Where the higher ups might eventually decide to blame the toy and not the manufacturers.

Unless you're Batman or Superman or that level of iconic/popular.

Disappointingly and quite obviously, it's not hard to know if not assume most characters don't have that level of icon to have their back in the dark times. Meaning most go back into the void unless the ones upstairs think this time their new failed from the start scheme will win them all back.

The secret of success in comics is simple, now it may not go back to the way it was, but they can still come back a bit, and here's the secret--

Learn how to fucking tell good stories, with good characterization, with artists that are beyond simply having good talent, but actual passion that shows them how everything's supposed to be.

If I order a nerf gun, and comes not looking anything like what it did on the box.

You know damn well the person who bought it is going to be displeased and not order from them again.

You're testing customer loyalty, and the economy not doing as grand, and prices going up--

The amount of time you have to get them back is depleting.

So get your head out of your ass and actually do something.

[thealias0]

I might have came up with alternate resolutions for both The Giggle and Empire of Death in the shower

I think that those resolutions are both really underwhelming and deserved more. So, let's start what i came up with The Giggle.

Originally, The Toymaker was defeated by him just messing up. No clever play from anyone. 14 and 15 haven't displayed one of their biggest traits, which is their Time Lord super intelligence. They only displayed their ability to play catch, which is just such a waste imo. My proposal: Game of catch goes just like it did in the episode, but eventually 14 and 15 look at each other in understanding. They have cooked a plan. 14 catches the ball and throws it to 15, but he misses and ball falls off the edge of the rooftop. Both act shocked and 15 immediately sprints into the building. Toymaker looks at what just transpired and laughs and screams. "Go ahead, run if you wanna play hide and seek next. You will not escape me anyways." Turns to 14. "Are you proud? Your next incarnation revealed himself to be a coward! I expect many things from you, Doctor, but that sure surprised me. Now, you lost the game, so now's time for me to collect my reward." 14 smirks. "I wouldn't be so sure, as I believe... it is still falling" The moment he said that, the ball hurling from the entrance to the building hits The Toymaker and falls to the ground. In the way stands none other than 15 visibly exhausted from running and expression of relief on his face. Toymaker visibly angry, scared and confused asks: "Wh- What?! How did you... No... don't tell me-" "That's right, Toymaker" 15 expeled. "There are no rules forbidding the usage of time machines" 14 finished the thought. Then the flashback plays out showing the whole thing from 15's perspective. He runs as fast as he can straight to the TARDIS passing himself on the way, travels to the time and place where the ball is supposed to land, catches it, travels back and runs back to the rooftop passing himself on the way back. The rest transpires as it did in the original. I'm not claiming it's the best, great or even good alternate ending, but i think it would be more satisfying than what we got.

The resolution for Empire of Death is one of the most disappointing events I've ever seen in Doctor Who. It made Sutekth into a complete joke. Are you really telling me that the supposed most powerful being in existence. A god so powerful and terrifying that even The Toymaker ran in terror, wasn't able to handle a fucking rope? I don't care if it's a "smart rope" whatever that means. Toymaker was able to turn bullets into confetti, people into bunch of bouncy balls and implied he could turn galaxies into figet spinners or whatever. Sutekth is supposed to be more powerful than that and he couldn't do anything about it? Sutekth deserves much better than this. So this is what i came up with. It isn't nearly as detailed as the toymaker stuff, but i hope you'll enjoy the concept. So, i decided to actually use the spoon to save the universe in hopefully interesting way. I didn't think of any good scenario yet, but here's my idea for the concept itself. What if Doctor defeated Sutekh by using his power against him using the spoon. By that i mean that The Doctor could psychologically manipulate Sutekh into believing that the spoon through some classic Doctor Who technobabble, power of love and fairy tale salt spilling mumbo jumbo became an actual weapon capable of defeating him. Sutekh being a god and having power over reality itself could subconsciously make that story a reality and unknowingly empowering the spoon with his own power, which then Doctor could use to defeat him.

So that's what i came up. I am not a writer, so i apologize if that's an unbearable slop of a read. I'm not claiming that the dialogue i wrote is any good, as im just not experienced in writing. All i did here was not very thought through and only served the purpose of conveying my core ideas about the alternate resolutions for those stories. Hope you enjoyed and have a nice day

[eruscreaminginthedistance]

Finally got around to watching some post-embargo vids and I have some now updated Veilguard thoughts.

Stuff I liked:

Character creator is a standout as always. This has consistently been the strong point of Bioware's games in the last 10 years so no surprises there. The pronoun and other gender-related options are a welcome addition.

Companions all seem great. I'm sad we haven't got more Davrin or Bellara content yet, since those are the two I'm most interested in learning about. Their initial introduction in that terrible cinematic trailer didn't do these guys any favours, but seeing them in gameplay footage gives a much better impression of them. It's also exciting to see more companion-on-companion interactions and relationships.

I was put off by the voice acting in the 10 minute gameplay reveal months ago, but what I've heard so far has been much better.

Main menu looks pretty.

As an ME fan, I'm pro dialogue wheel; it's unfortunate that Inquisition turned that whole mechanic into a massive drip. This is less a thing I notice but something I hope, that this game's dialogue wheel will have a more DA2 or ME1 vibe.

Hngnggn vfjddjgfnbhn oooowowo o cloaks.

Stuff I didn't like:

The art style is not redeeming itself. Wolfheart made a very insightful point that it might be a holdover from when Veilguard was going to be a live service multiplayer game, and it definitely does give that impression. Everything is still incredibly smooth and it's clear there was a lot of effort put into making things "nice" looking. It's giving very "everyone's beautiful but no one is horny" to me. I'm on the haters' side with the Qunari; where are their textures?

On that note, oh my god. The UI and the VFX. This must have also been a result of live service elements. As someone who hates playing late-game mages in Origins because all of the VFX gives me a headache this game looks actively hostile. Does literally every single ability require flashing neon lights? Why does the UI look like a World of Warcraft meme? Why does every single interactive object glow? Wolfheart noted that even after turning everything off, a bunch of VFX elements were still present, which is tremendously disappointing. Bioware can miss me with this cocomelon for adults visual style; I just do not need all of these annoying tricks to try and keep my attention.

Also on the UI - idk man. Remember when fantasy games weren't embarrassed about looking fantasy? Remember when all of Origins menus opened up in a little book with parchment pages? Character selection took place in a little castle? I just don't get this Thing Bioware has had since 2 to make DA's game UI look cool and slick by taking all the fun out of its visual elements. I've heard it before but I've got to agree, Veilguard's UI looks like a mobile game. And again, it's so busy it's 100% gonna give me headaches.

The combat is.... I won't call it "bad". I just hate it. See above for one of the reasons why. I think I could write a whole essay on how discomfiting it is. The very very clear push (likely from EA) to have the game resemble big name titles like Breath of the Wild and God of War has taken the game in the direction of just kind of a generic hack and slash; at least DA2 married its action elements with its party mechanics and has its own unique voice. There's something in particular that sets my teeth on edge tbh. I'm watching gameplay of warriors and rogues in combat and they're pretty much indistinguishable from mages. Teleporting, fire and lightning flying about in basic attacks, just a ton of stuff that makes me cringe to look at. There's a complete lack of class fantasy there for me - why would I want to play a warrior that isn't just a big guy with a big sword? Is this a result of story elements? Why is my low level rogue demolishing entire groups of enemies ala Dynasty Warriors? In a world where the distinction between a magic person and a non-magic person is incredibly important, could cost you your life, watching a rogue shoot lightning out of their knives makes me groan. Are Bioware's efforts to make the player feel like the coolest specialist person that ever lived going to be addressed in-game? We'll have to see.

Lack of control over your own companions ala Mass Effect. I don't wanna talk about it it's too depressing.

I've noted this in the past but obviously the tonal departure from low/dark fantasy to classic high fantasy. The character backgrounds for the Rooks pretty much lock you into playing a good guy, which is a huge shame. Even if you want to pick a faction that is canonically shady or morally neutral AT BEST like the Crows, they make sure to tell you that the other Crows don't like you because you're just that good-hearted. In a faction like the Grey Wardens, notorious for taking in criminals of all stripes, you spend your background saving helpless villagers. What are the options going to be like for people who want to play morally grey or potentially evil Rooks? It's starting to look like Bioware isn't going to give you a much wiggle room to define your character out of what they need you to be.

Lip flap looks like a very mixed bag. Maybe it's just the footage but voices and mouths look out of sync.

Can't make a post without reminding everyone that Bioware isn't our friend; they've fired half the people who worked on this game and greedy producers like EA don't deserve our money.

Update: Only just came across this but phasing out inventory management? Yeah welcome back Mass Effect trilogy :/

Neutral opinions:

Other shit like the Darkspawn and overall mob designs have been a problem since DA2 so I don't see the point in rehashing it here, other than to say that I can't wait for the "DLC with the good Darkspawn designs in it" this time around.

Opening scene gives me huge Mass Effect vibes; the bar fight and the music in that scene felt very "Lair of the Shadow Broker", which I guess is a compliment.

Varric still not dead yet. Kill that old man!

Ultimately, I'm putting in prediction now that Veilguard is going to go the DA2 route of having a decent and well-loved story, but with massive issues regarding its gameplay and aesthetic that players will just have to get over in order to enjoy the game.

I'm not gonna be buying on release - first time that's been the case for a Dragon Age game since Origins; the current plan is to wait until the Christmas sales, which gives plenty of time for the fandom to either assuage my fears or implode cos the game is shit. Either that or the Solavellan content is so crisp and juicy I'll have to learn to pirate.

[cursedvibes]

kenjaku :-) or tengen/uraume if they've been done

Thank you for the ask! I'm just gonna do all three :D

Kenjaku

Sexuality Headcanon:

I think Kenjaku generally doesn't care about a person's gender in regards to attraction. It's far more important that the people are interesting, able to hold their attention for a long time and if they are actually looking for a relationship of whatever kind, they must feel like they are equal to each other. Also, I think as far as purely physical or aesthetic attraction goes or when it's about casual sex they prefer men.

Gender Headcanon:

Kenjaku got all the genders and goes by any pronouns or none at all. They might have some preferences for what sex their body has, but that changes over time and sometimes it aligns with their current vessel and sometimes it doesn't. Generally, in canon the characters who actually know Kenjaku don't refer to them in gendered terms, but I don't think they'd have a problem with being referred to with she/her while in Geto or Noritoshi's body or with he/him when in Kaori's. I also think this was always the case with them, it didn't just come through their CT or with age. Their CT just helped realize the fluidity of their gender more.

A ship I have with said character:

I have a whole bunch of them, but at the moment my fave is definitely TenKen. Got a great toxic mix of longing, obsession, lost friendship and vore. And it is especially interesting to get into because Tengen is so important for Kenjaku's character overall. She is their primary motivation for this whole insane plan they got, getting close to her is what drove them forward for centuries and she is likely the cause or one of the factors that drove Kenjaku to get more and more lost in their need for entertainment because they lost the connection to her.

A BROTP I have with said character:

Uraume. I just love their dynamic so much, both as a BROTP and as a sort of hatesex ship. I really miss their bickering and casual insults. Kenjaku is so gleeful about driving Uraume up the wall it's great. But also how they reluctantly help each other out and do such wild shit like going on an international tour to rile up an invasion of Japan. Or Kenjaku having to hold Uraume back like a rabid dog from killing everyone in sight because it would be Not A Good Look. True trans solidarity.

A NOTP I have with said character:

Hmm, I think it's GoKen (sorry, I know you love them). I'm just not interested in Gojo in a shipping sense, I don't really see anything interesting in their dynamic beyond the meeting in Shibuya and even that has gotten a bit old for me because everyone is talking about it constantly. I also don't like how it is often/most of the time so focused on stsg because in canon that's the only reason Gojo has any interest in Kenjaku. Without Geto he wouldn't give a shit. So from what I've seen of it, most of it is just repackaged stsg angst (especially in fanfic) and I don't care for that.

A random headcanon:

Tengen used to be something of a teacher for them, maybe they were somehow involved with the cult that formed around her, and then they slowly became more of a friend or partner for her. They developed the concept for jujutsu society together, but disagreed on the details and how far it should be taken, how curses should be handled etc.

General Opinion over said character:

*gestures at my blog and AO3 account* idk I guess I like them

Uraume

Sexuality Headcanon:

They give me a bit of an ace vibe. I think they generally don't engage much with sex or have much interest in it, but on the odd chance that they do, they prefer men (probably also who they are most aesthetically attracted to).

Gender Headcanon:

No. If we use a label, agender would come the closest, but they just don't have any gender and live completely outside of it. They don't really care if people make assumptions about them because they see these people below them anyway, so what do their opinions matter. They wouldn't really get mad about it unless they are being pestered about it or they feel like the person is stepping out of line. But if that happens, they can just kill them. Easy. Same as with Kenjaku, I think they always felt this way about their gender, it's not that they stopped caring about it with age.

A ship I have with said character:

Mainly SukUme because Sukuna is really the only person Uraume has much interest in and I like how chill Sukuna is around them. Love the scene of them laughing at Yuuji together and joking around. You can tell they have been close for a long time. I also like that Uraume shows Sukuna respect, but isn't his doormat and gets away with far more than anyone else. Unfortunately we haven't seen it yet, but Uraume cooking human meat for Sukuna Hannibal-style is also the main thing that pulls me towards them. Cannibal couple.

A BROTP I have with said character:

Kenjaku, like above. Although, their dynamic with Hakari is also becoming really interesting and I wish we saw more of them. They actually seem to vibe very well and respect or even like each other, which is quite rare with Uraume. So far they seem the most normal around him. Probably because they might see something of young!Sukuna in him and he isn't as annoying as Kenjaku.

A NOTP I have with said character:

idk...there aren't that many ships with them. I can't think of any I've seen that I didn't like. Have to say though, that I don't like when people treat Uraume in SukUme as a self-insert and you can clearly tell that the person who wrote/drew it just wants to get railed by Sukuna and doesn't actually care about Uraume.

A random headcanon:

They were eating and cooking human flesh even before Sukuna came around. They saw Sukuna tear the raw flesh from people's bodies and eat it and were like "this is so uncultured, I gotta help this guy. where's my cauldron"

General Opinion over said character:

Love them! One of my top 10 favourite jjk characters. Gege please show me more of them, especially their current fight. I also really want to know more about their philosophy, view of humanity and how it differs from Sukuna's, how they first came to meet Sukuna and who they were before that.

Tengen

Sexuality Headcanon:

Pretty firmly aroace. I don't think they ever had much interest in romance, long-term relationships or sex. She might have experimented a bit when they were younger or maybe she used to be married because of societal conventions, but as she got older she just stopped engaging with it altogether and her philosophy and buddhist beliefs only emphasized what was already there.

Gender Headcanon:

Pretty much what she already told us. She feels more drawn to the identity of woman, but it was never that rigid for her and as she got older and especially when her body started to change, she cared less and less about it. However, she still cares about gender in the sense that she doesn't see herself as a man and prefers to not be addressed as such, especially in a private setting. Like, she doesn't care what the higher-ups think, them thinking she's a man is even beneficial to her, but if someone she knows well or cares about addresses her that way directly, she will correct them. She likes masculine clothing though and playing around with assumptions and societal conventions for gender presentation in general. If I were to summarize her gender in one brief label it would be something like: woman* (star even fits with her theme)

A ship I have with said character:

TenKen (obviously). Most of the action in that ship naturally comes from Kenjaku, but I find it fascinating how despite all the shit Kenjaku has done over the centuries, she still gives them the cover of anonymity and even protects them to a degree. Heavily side-eyeing Kenjaku surviving a fight against the Heian six eyes user twice. The fight wasn't even close from what we know and yet Kenjaku somehow managed to slip away and recuperate. I also find it fascinating how in the end, she almost gives in to Kenjaku's demands or lets herself be swept away by them. She doesn't try to merge anymore and she puts up the bare minimum of a fight. Like, she knows Kenjaku is a threat, but she still cares about them in some way and sees them as just an attention seeking child (true). Also kind of funny how she says she has no idea what motivates Kenjaku because she can't see into the human heart and yet when we've seen that Kenjaku isn't at all shy to talk about why they are doing all this. Especially with her around they are basically screaming their motivation and she's there like "hmm, big mystery why they are doing this. feelings are so hard to understand." no wonder Kenjaku went insane lol She's always trying to keep that emotional distance somehow, even when her actions speak against it. It also makes it very tragic from Kenjaku's perspective. They swallowed her and still can't reach her (anymore). Also, they see their relationship as equal, while Tengen still places herself above them in terms of skill and maturity. Argh, I need their backstory.

A BROTP I have with said character:

There aren't really that many people she has a closer connection with and a friendly one at that...guess Sukuna? Her turning his corpse into a mummy is really interesting and also their similarity when she started evolving. The mummy stuff is very similar to the urban legend of Ryomen Sukuna, so I wonder what exactly her and Kenjaku did with Sukuna before and after his death and if they might've been involved with him becoming more powerful. I also like her and Yuki together. They aren't exactly friendly, not from Yuki's side at least, but the "forced to hang out with my bigoted grandma" aspect of their relationship is funny.

A NOTP I have with said character:

Her and Sukuna. I just don't see anything there except shared fascination for jujutsu and what I said above about their past. Definitely nothing that comes even close to romantic or sexual feelings on either side.

A random headcanon:

She's not from Japan or she had a long period where she toured around ancient China, India, Korea and the like. She only really started drawing attention when she was at least 200 years old, so there is a lot of time we don't really know anything about.

General Opinion over said character:

Manipulative, conservative Grandma who ruined everyone's lives with the system she created and couldn't be bothered to change things for the better. And I love her for that. Top 3 jjk character for me <3

[sincerely-sofie]

I LOVE THE NECROZMA SHORT SO MUCH!

Necrozma being stuck because he lacked light, but the hero determined that he would bring him some after being his friend.

And then Necrozma becomes ultra necrozma

BECAUSE HE HAD GIVEN UP ALL HOPE AND THOUGHT HE WOULD NEVER GET OUT

AND THE HERO GAVE HIM HOPE

AND THE HOPE WAS THE LIGHT HE NEEDED

sOPHIE!

SOPHIE YOU CANT JUST GET ME EMOTIONALLY IMVESTED IN THESE CHARACTERS AND THEN DIP.

HOW ARE YOU SUCH A CONSISTANTLY GREAT WRITER AAAAAAAA

Thank you so much!!! I'm glad you liked that lil comic :D In all honesty I found myself very attached to the characters by the end of it--- there's so much that went into the original script that ended up cut for time, like the hero asking Necrozma for stories because he's old and probably knows a whole bunch, right? And Necrozma being so exhausted of the hero pestering him for stories that he finally says he doesn't know any more, only for the hero to ask him to tell the ones he already told about Ultra Space because they were so amazing. Necrozma ended up getting a bit upset when the homesickness hit him, but wouldn't admit why he was upset, and the hero was planned to confide in him, "Y'know... I miss my parents a lot. And my toys. And my school, and my teachers, and my friends..."

The hero is a fun character because he was super young when he was transported across dimensions to the world of mystery dungeon and was turned into a tiny cat that spits fire, and ended up being taken in by a village of pokemon, but never was really cared for by anyone in particular--- he was just passed around from whichever household could keep him fed and dry for whatever span of time. Necrozma taking notice of him in the cave was the first time he felt like someone saw a scared kid when looking at him instead of another mouth to feed, which is why he got so attached so fast while Necrozma was slower to warm to this persistent child so determined to disturb the spotty rest he could find between flares of pain.

I'm considering writing a short fic of these two, or maybe including them as major / playable characters in a larger PMD visual novel I've got stewing in my brain. One person reblogged the original comic with "peepaw Necrozma" and it just never left my head, haha. I think it might be fun for Necrozma to be able to return home to Ultra Space and the hero to insist on joining him. Who knows what antics they'd get up to?

[quaranmine]

you were in Iceland?? epic! I've been there as well (in 2022), how was it? how was the volcano? (if you don't mind me asking, feel free to ignore this)

Yes! I was there 5/18 to 6/1. I've wanted to go for like a decade and have been semi planning this trip for 2024 for a year and a half, then properly researching and planning since January. It was SO AMAZING. Exactly everything I wanted :) I was ready to go home at the end for like, my own bed and some rest, but now I miss it and want to go back lol

If you went in 2022, did you get to hike to the Fagradalsfjall eruption? I know those were the "tourist" ones that people could get closer to. The current eruptions are part of another volcanic system on the Reykjanes peninsula, Svartsengi. They aren't open for hiking. It erupted again 3 days before I left. I got to see it twice! On our last full day we drove out of Reykjavik and saw it along the highway, and then the day we left we stopped on the way to the airport. I took this with my 250 mm from literally the side of the highway:

It caused no interferences with our travel. It's a fissure eruption, so the lava is erupting along a fissure and isn't as big and explosive. Initially they were afraid this one might disrupt air travel if the lava flowed to the sea (producing more ash and steam) but it didn't. It was very cool to see! I feel bad for the people who lived in Grindavik though, it’s been months since they had to evacuate and there isn't an end in sight for them yet. The Icelandic government really stays on top of things like road closures, weather reporting, etc so I checked their websites daily. The main concern with the eruption as gas pollution, so I just checked their pollution forecast to see if the wind was going to blow it over us or not (it didn't.)

Our trip went great. We had mostly good weather and apparently left just in time because this last week there's been a pretty nasty problematic storm across the whole country that left a bunch of people stranded. But we left 2 days before that. We drove 3,300 km in our rental car (2,050 miles) and did the entire ring road + some of the Westfjords + Snæfellsnes + Húsavik + Borgarfjörður Eystri as detours. Our rental car was named Jim because that was his license plate. We bonded with him lmao

Here's a few photos :)

Major things I did: Katla Ice Cave, Vestmannaeyjabær, Silfra snorkeling in 2°C water, Jökulsárlon boat tour, Húsavik whale watching, countless waterfalls, puffins at Borgarfjarðarhöfn, Hvammsvik hot springs & Sky lagoon, and Mulagljufur Canyon.

It was at coldest, 2°C (35°F) with downpour rain being pushed sideways into your face by wind to the point you could hardly open your eyes. It was at hottest 19° C (66°F) and sunny. We mostly got great weather, it was only one day that was particularly bad. Mostly it was between 7°C - 13°C (45°F - 55°F) the whole time.

I NEVER saw it get dark and that was a novelty to me the entire trip. Like it never settled in as something I got used to. Presumably it got mostly dark somewhere around 2 am but I was always asleep by then and even if I woke up to go the bathroom, it'd be like 4 am and already light again. The furthest north we stayed was Ísafjörđur, and according to timeanddate.com by May it never reaches full dark, only civil twilight for 3 hours and daylight the other 21. I can't imagine if I'd actually have been there during the solstice, with just that extra month for the days to be even longer!

Now I want to go back for a short winter trip to see the northern lights and then for a proper summer trip to see the highlands (closed the whole time we were there for thawing season)

[aotopmha]

I have finished Dawntrail!

I will have a spoiler-free post (this one) and a spoiler-y post (probably one of my following ones) of my very general thoughts.

If there's a wish to avoid even this kind of post, then the warning is here.

For spoiler-free impressions, I will say that I did notice a bigger inconsistency in terms of the voice work.

The final boss had straight-up flat delivery that didn't exist in most cutscenes for ALL voice actors.

Everyone is also mostly fine when talking normally, but when yelling or stronger feelings are needed, especially the newest actors feel strangely off.

Wuk sounded absolutely fine and consistent in 6.55, but there were points where she just sounded really flat in the actual expansion.

I'm also in the camp that the credits theme sounded off. The chorus was fine (and the same track was completely fine when used in a couple of other cutscenes), but the main vocalist sounded really off. It took me out of what was otherwise a very solid final stretch of story. And the singer has done some great stuff before!

It's all really odd and I didn't think I would have these complaints ever again after A Realm Reborn because the voice work since then has ranged from good to amazing.

I'm really curious about what's going on behind the scenes.

FF14's vocal tracks have been weak at points to me, but not once have I felt a vocalist sounded absolutely awful.

Otherwise this expansion is up there in terms of the soundtrack, might be my favourite so far. Incredibly strong all the way through aside from the vocalist in this single track.

The graphics update has done wonders to endear me to the world and this will be the first expansion I will absolutely max out the FATEs for perhaps even just this reason alone. It's a miracle how much more strongly you can sell a world with better lighting and just a little bit more object density.

The content itself is also absolutely fantastic - if the story really bores you, I at least recommend skipping through it to do the dungeons and trials and maybe go back for the story via New Game+. The encounter design is refreshing, from a whole bunch of new mechanics to more interesting fodder enemy usage.

The class changes, while feeling relatively minor have felt like really good smoothing out of awkward elements.

I especially feel this with Dragoon, and as much as I miss Plunge, Dark Knight's new ability animations alone go a long way to add to that smoother feel, as well.

i also adore Viper, which I think is my favourite melee out of the ones I've played. Simple, but speedy and satisfying to play.

I will absolutely still remain a DRK main in a general sense, though.

Will be running dungeons to get everyone along all of the game.

Finally, I think the story came together really nicely by the end, with some interesting threads left behind.

It is much more simple than Shadowbringers and Endwalker, but I think it was still effective. As I've said in previous posts, it's just really thematically strong and followed that strength right to the end, even if I have varied opinions on all of the characters.

In terms of immediate impressions, content-wise (dungeons and trials in particular), as far as base expansions go, I'd place it above ARR, Heavensward and probably Endwalker (Endwalker's solo duties rocked and narrative and gameplay integration is still unmatched, but the encounter design itself isn't as distinct).

Story-wise I'd probably place it above A Realm Reborn and Stormblood because it has a similar spirit of exploration with much better pacing within its individual areas. Every time I felt the story started dragging in its own ecosystem, it moved on and the answers by the end were satisfying and made sense while ARR and StB actually didn't have that many mysteries to even think about, so had much less impetus to at least seek those out.

It had no Labyrinthos, Ruby Sea, Moogle quest or Mt. Gulg setup. But it wasn't as complex in terms of character writing as Endwalker, Shadowbringers and to some extent even Heavensward and Stormblood.

Though, as said, this is only speaking in terms of the base expansions, the only comparison I can make. Because the patch content did amazing narrative things for both Heavensward and Stormblood in particular in my eyes.

(I actually have no idea what to expect from the Dawntrail patches. Which is, once more, both super exciting and scary because the threads left behind are pretty much a complete mystery.)

So in a general sense, I'm an early Dawntrail defender. I enjoyed it a lot. It truly felt special as my very first on-content expansion, too.

Now on to the optional dungeons!

(Have heard some great impressons on them!)

[bluesyjean]

It's the last one, so I might as well do this. Very big thanks to @c0ffeeb1ack for organizing a rewatch. I really enjoyed all the commentary and going through the series one episode at a time rather than binging the whole thing, and it made me appreciate it so much more. (Especially s3, which got infinitely more fun on a rewatch without my Big Nerves about what was going to happen. s1 is forever my girl, but there are some genuinely great moments in s3.)

Extra hot takes for Oblivion:

SO HAPPY LUTHER AND KLAUS GOT TO DO SCENES TOGETHER. The entire Void sequence was quality. Knowing these two are such good buddies irl it's about damn time they got to hang out more on screen. They must have had so much fun doing this.

It took me a long long time, but Sparrow!Ben grows on you. He's hilariously trying SO HARD to be an asshole every time he opens his mouth you just have to laugh. So extra.

I forever wish Lila wasn't pregnant. I'm sorry, it just doesn't do a great service to her or Diego because now everything has to be about this. My relief when Stan wasn't theirs was so short lived.

Five whispering conspiracy theories with Viktor is so good. I missed them being besties, so happy he's still the one Five trusts. (In a "I'll kill you myself" if you fuck up again kind of way, but that's just Five for you.) We love paranoia.

Also was so happy to have Five and Allison actually talk to each other, even if it's just to fight. I've waited so long.

This episode had a lot of interesting character combos. Sloane and Ben with Five, Luther and Klaus, I could have had more of this.

Didn't notice before that the sigil thing is on the back of the guardians. Which means...? Nothing, but I did notice.

Love that they always turn blue when life is being sucked out of them. Just a bunch of little blue aliens.

The first time I watched this I was convinced that Five would eventually lose that arm again when they fix the universe. I hope not, poor left-handed little guy. He loves to write. :( But that might also mean deaths happen again. Fully prepared for bummers in s4.

I was not as enthralled with the soundtrack of s3 as I was in past seasons, but I will say the closing song is the only one that made its way into rotation on my playlist. Great choice.

Desperate for Abigail to be a horrific villain in s4. Please give me this, it's all I ask.

Anyway I might end up watching the last season this way. (One episode a day.) Great idea! Taking time to enjoy something, what a concept. Thanks all!

[asskickedbygirl]

Hey there!

First of all: I love your work, you're doing a great job and I really love your writing style!

I'd like to request something (if you don't want to write that it's cool). I had some kind of a down time for the past few weeks and need something funny/comforting. I thought of maybe reader being a medic on the set of jackass and she and bam and Ryan had a troubled past. So when she sees them she's like "oh please don't get hurt" and the other boys are teasing her like "oh, are you worried about them?" And she's like "god no I don't want to see their faces more than I need to."

And bam or Ryan kinda start to like her and is jealous when the other guys try to flirt with her.

Can end in smut, even though I'm ace and not a smut fan, but the stuff you write is so good, I can totally live with that.

Thanks for your fics and happy new year!

Tell Me

[Ryan Dunn x F!Reader]

A/n: ASSKICKEDBYGIRL WRITING FLUFF FOR ONCE?!?!?!? 😱😱yeah there's a shock. thank you for the req sorry it took me a while to get around to it but thank you for saying that too!!! I've missed writing I wish I didn't have a life.

warnings: mentions of sex, alcohol, cursing

2.9k words

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"You might be busy today, looks like Bam and Ryan are gonna fuck something up." Jeff tutted, glancing over to where the crew were setting up.

"God I hope they don't get hurt."

Johnny overheard what you said, a smirk appearing on his face as he wandered over to where you and Jeff were stood.

"And why's that? You got a crush? Worrying your pretty little head over em?" He laughed, ruffling up your hair as you tried pushing him off.

"God no. I don't wanna see their faces more than I have to."

Johnny's brows narrowed, unsure of why you had some sort of vendetta against the two buffoons from West Chester.

"They went to high school together." Jeff answered Johnny's confusion for you before leaving the two of you be.

"Ah I see. One of them an ex or something?"

You shook your head, scoffing.

"Definitely not. They were just idiots that's all."

Johnny could tell you were leaving some detail out as you continued setting up your station, the job you were supposed to be doing instead of chatting with the star of the movie.

"Did they pick on you? Cause' if that's the case I can kick their asses for you. We'll call it reparations."

Johnny's sweet talking pulled a little smile from you though you kept your eyes trained on the ground, afraid you might fall into Johnny's sunken ones as crushing on coworkers was totally a no-go in the professional sense.

"No it's okay. They were kind of assholes to a lot of people so it's not really considered picking on me. Just boys being dumb."

Johnny nodded, biting his lip.

"Well hell maybe they've changed, they're only jackasses professionally now!"

You laughed, glancing up to meet Johnny's eyes.

"Yeah, maybe they just keep the assholery for when they're getting paid."

Before you could launch into any further discussion with the heart throb, the two cast members you'd least like to speak to darted over, calling your name.

"Did you miss us?" Ryan laughed, wrapping an arm around you like you were the best of buds.

"Can't say I did Dunn." You awkwardly shoved his arm off of you, trying your best to continue unpacking though Bam sitting on top of your workplace made that rather difficult.

"Oh come on, you had to have missed me after I dropped out!" Bam chuckled, leaning back, Johnny simply observing the mini high school reunion.

"I will say Bam, Raab shitting on those lockers was the best thing he ever did, got rid of the two of you!"

That's when Johnny finally interjected, laughing whole-heartedly and clutching his chest.

"Raab did what?!"

"You don't know this? Raab got expelled for smearing shit on a bunch of lockers so Bam dropped out." Ryan smiled, relishing in relaying the story despite the fact he wasn't actually there to experience it.

"Chris committed a string of shit related crimes but that one was truly the last straw." You nodded, smiling at Johnny's joy.

"Well hey, they were pretty funny, you have to admit." Bam extended his arm, attempting to grasp some humour from you.

"Funny isn't the word I'd use... disgusting seems more fitting. Plus you guys were dickheads back then."

Bam and Ryan matched faces of confusion.

"What are you talking about? We were dumb kids everyone just ignored." Bam said, Ryan nodding along.

"Seriously? You don't remember?"

There was an awkward silence then, Bam and Ryan racking their brains trying to understand what the hell you were on about.

"Remember what?" Ryan asked.

You bit the inside of your cheek, glancing between the two boys and remembering Johnny was right there too, witnessing this strange sort of confrontation. You weren't sure if you really wanted to unload the words that swirled in your head through in your teen years in front of the guy you kinda liked, the idea was not exactly appealing.

"Whatever, forget it." You bit your tongue, grabbing something and pretending you had something else to attend to when you were just desperate to make an escape.

***

After that awkward little encounter Bam and Ryan seemed to be making an array of unnecessary visits to your station, pestering you for band aids and asking if random bruises 'looked okay'.

"Bam you've had thousands of bruises in your lifetime, I'm sure you know that looks perfectly normal."

"Alright yeah, I just wanted to come talk to you before Dunn or Knoxville had a chance." Bam pulled down the leg of his pants as your brows narrowed.

"What are you talking about?"

Bam grinned at you, like he knew something you didn't.

"No it's nothing, I just like talking to you."

Bam's glimmering eyes were seeping into you but it wasn't really working, in fact he was becoming more of a nuisance than anything else.

"Well I appreciate the fact you enjoy my company but I'm kinda trying to work here."

Bam rolled his eyes, not giving up.

"Oh come on. No one's hurt you don't have any work to do, just tell me why I was an ass and I'll leave."

As soon as the words left Bam's lips a yell was heard where Johnny was performing a stunt followed by a 'Medic!" shout.

"Fuck." You muttered, grabbing your kit and running over to where Johnny lay clutching his ankle.

"I think I broke it." He spoke through gritted teeth, eyes shut tightly.

You removed Johnny's hand to see the area was already swelling.

"Help me get him to the tent, I have an ice pack there." You called out to someone, Ryan jumping into play as he swung Johnny's arm around his shoulder while you did the same with his other arm, helping him up and steadying him.

A gaggle of people tried to follow you along but you shooed them off.

"He'll be fine, Jeff can you tell everyone to fuck off please?" You called out, Jeff simply shooting you a thumbs up and waving away any stragglers.

As you, Ryan and Johnny eventually made it to the med tent to sit Johnny down, you noticed a stray had followed you along.

"I don't need both of you here." You called out to Ryan and Bam who both pretended to look mightily concerned as Johnny winced and you fetched the ice pack.

"I'll stay." They both said in unison, earning a glare from you.

"I think I can handle a sprained ankle guys, goodbye." You pushed Ryan and Bam out of your tent and closed the curtains, turning to face Johnny.

"Sorry about those idiots, they won't fucking leave me alone." You muttered, removing Johnny's shoe and sock and placing the ice pack on his swollen ankle, causing him to suck sharply through his teeth.

"You think I fucked it up badly?"

"Nah, probably just a sprain even though it might seem a lot worse, you'll have to use crutches for a bit though."

Johnny sighed, looking pissed off.

"Well there goes two weeks where I can't do shit."

There was an awkward silence in the tent then as you kneeled below him, lifting his foot with your hand to elevate it.

"You know they probably like you right?"

"What?" For being so irritated and in pain, Johnny was really gonna bring up Bam and Ryan?

"The idiots. They have massive crushes on you, I know it."

You laughed, shaking your head.

"You're delusional."

Johnny smiled, staring at you below him, rooting through your bag for bandages.

"I think I'm very lusional actually."

"Oh god, lusional? He's losing it nurse this must be something far more serious!" You laughed, wrapping the bandage tightly around Johnny as he laughed too, wincing through the pain.

Bam and Ryan stood outside the tent waiting for you, their ears only being filled with joyous laughter, their teeth now grinding together.

"Think they need help?" Bam folded his arms, beginning to grow impatient.

"She likes him. Of course she fucking does, what girl doesn't like Knoxville." Ryan spat under his breath, kicking the ground beneath his shoe.

"You know, maybe if we weren't such dicks in high school she might give us the time of the day." He added, turning away from the tent to fuck off somewhere, pulling out a pack of cigarettes.

"Come on dude, we weren't that bad." Bam called out but Ryan shook his head.

"Well clearly we were if she can't stand talking to us for more than two fucking seconds." He went off in a huff, regret coursing through his veins at the unknown actions of his teenage self.

Who knew being a bit of a dick in high school would come back to bite you in the ass?

***

It was a Friday night and the crew were off drinking at a local bar after a week of filming. Knoxville had been sentenced to two weeks on crutches and so was hobbling around the bar with them while Bam and Ryan were still falling over each other trying to talk to you. You sat in a booth next to Chris, sipping on your vodka soda and trying to ignore the pestering Bam who was getting more and more drunk by the minute when suddenly he spoke your name all serious.

"Just tell me how Ryan and I were such dicks to you in high school and I promise I'll fuck off."

You were pulled away from your lively conversation to be met with yet another awkward confrontation.

"Bam I don't wanna get into this, seriously." Bam threw his arm over your shoulder and pressed his finger against your lips.

"Just tell me! I'm sorry I was an asshole cause' now I really wanna bang you."

"Alright Bam! That's enough of that!" Like a deus ex machina, Ryan graciously came to your rescue, dragging his drunk friend away from you and pushing him towards another group of Jackass people.

Your eyes were wide, mouth slightly agape.

"Sorry about him, whiskey is like his truth serum."

You just shook your head laughing, still in a state of disbelief.

"Well I wasn't expecting a love confession to go like that."

"He has a way with words." Ryan laughed, shrugging.

"I'm going to the bar and am not ordering whiskey." Chris murmured, sliding out from the booth and leaving you and Ryan alone.

"So you and Bam really wanna know why I didn't like you when we were younger huh?"

Ryan took a sip from his drink, trying to act as if he didn't care as much as his inebriated best friend.

"I mean, kinda but- yeah. Yeah we do wanna know."

You laughed, shaking your head.

"Fine, I'll tell you."

Ryan's eyes widened.

"You will?"

"I will. but! only if you tell me one thing."

"Anything, what is it?" Ryan nodded enthusiastically.

"Do you have a crush on me too?" Your smile widened, eyes burrowing into his own.

Ryan laughed awkwardly, eyes spinning around the room trying to avoid your gaze.

"Oh come on, what are we 16?"

"Well you wanna know why I thought you guys were assholes at 16 so?"

Ryan bit his lip, considering his options when he just settled on biting the bullet.

"Fine. Yeah I do have a crush on you. That's why I wanna know why you're not giving me any chances so bad."

You smiled smugly, picking up Ryan's glass of whiskey.

"God this stuff really is truth serum!"

You both shared a moment of laughter before settling down.

"Alright I'll tell you. Sophomore year you were a Senior. I kinda liked your hair and I thought you were cute."

Ryan bit back a smile.

"I was at my locker and you and Bam were talking and I kinda overheard your conversation."

Ryan winced at that.

"Well that's never good."

You scratched the back of your head, smile faltering slightly when you remembered what you were about to spill, the alcohol in your system making your lips a little looser.

"Well you know I was pretty quiet in high school. Didn't really talk to anyone except my close friends."

Ryan nodded, straying away from any jokes as he noticed your change in demeanour.

"Since I was so quiet I could kinda fly under the radar, overhear things nobody thought I would hear, I was kind of invisible like that. Anyways, one day you and Bam were talking about girls."

Your eyes were stuck on the table, not wanting to look up and back out of what Ryan had lured you into saying.

"I noticed Bam kinda nodded his head towards me and asked you 'What about her?' I didn't hear the first part but knew it had something to do with sex or dating or whatever."

Out of the corner of your eye you could see Ryan was turning red, already embarrassed before he was even told what he had to be embarrassed about.

"And you said something like 'Fuck no she's a prude. Just an uptight bitch.'"

Ryan swallowed thickly, eyes flicking down to his shoes.

"Then Bam was like 'Yeah she's a cunt. Wouldn't fuck me if I was dying.' and then you just laughed and walked off."

There was quiet then, Ryan shaking his head and sighing.

"Look I don't hold it against you. You were just asshole teenagers and I'm sorry for acting like a bitch late-"

"No stop." Ryan stuck his hand out, interrupting your apologetic spiel.

"I was a fucking dickhead, I'm sorry for saying that shit, it wasn't even true."

You smirked, biting your lip.

"It was kinda true. Still is."

Ryan met your eyes then, his expression hiding a smile

"I just said that bullshit cause' I thought you were cute and I didn't want Bam to get his grubby hands on you."

You rolled your eyes, properly laughing then.

"Oh fuck off Dunn. Don't pull that 'He's only mean because he likes you!' shit on me now!"

Ryan shook his head, smile growing.

"I'm serious! Why do you think Bam and I are falling over our feet trying to talk to you now?!"

You narrowed your eyes and crossed your arms, smirk pulling at your lips.

"Are you telling me this whole time the older kid I thought was cute also thought I was cute?"

Ryan smiled before wetting his lips, arm moving himself closer to you.

"And what if I am?"

You laughed heartily, pushing Ryan's chest.

"Don't put your moves on me Dunn. Did you forget I'm a prude?"

He rolled his eyes again, chuckling.

"Come on let me walk you home before Knoxville breaks something else that you need to look at."

Ryan reached his hand out to pull you out of the booth.

"Jealous already Dunn? Guess you really are the type."

You allowed yourself to get dragged up, Ryan slipping his arm around your shoulder to usher you out of the bar.

"Hey where the fuck are you two going?!" Bam slurred out, bringing everyone's attention to you and Ryan.

You half smiled, unsure of what to say. That's when your eyes met with Johnny's as you witnessed him compute in real time what was happening. When he realised who you were going home with that night he simply smiled and winked at you. How was he always right?

"Taking her home asshole." Ryan called out, wasting no time in pulling you away, the urgency making you laugh.

As you walked down the streets of West Chester, Ryan's hand moved down to hold you by your waist, whispering crude comments about passer-bys in your ear to make you laugh when eventually you reached your apartment building.

"Thanks for walking me home." You smiled, holding your hand over where Ryan was holding your waist and turning to face him.

You looked into each others eyes for a moment, both of you smirking uncontrollably.

"I'd invite you in but, you know I'm a prude so."

Ryan rolled his eyes as you cackled, slapping his chest.

"I deserve that."

You smiled sweetly as Ryan did too, his eyes flicking down to your lips for a millisecond as your faces got closer.

"I don't think we should do anything tonight but..." You brought your hand up to rest on Ryan's cheek, rubbing his face with your thumb.

"I could give you something else." You whispered, leaning in and kissing him.

Ryan kept his hold on your waist but moved his other hand to touch your own face, deepening the kiss. He pushed your body to be closer to his own, moving his lips against yours roughly, beard grazing your chin. Before things could escalate any further you pulled away, allowing yourselves to catch your breath.

"You foiled my plan." Ryan laughed, brushing your hair off of your face.

"What?"

"My plan this whole time was to get the prude to sleep with me ten years later, it was strategy all along."

You both laughed.

"I see, you really plan ahead. I guess I'll just have to sleep with you now."

Ryan quirked an eyebrow at your obviously sarcastic response, resulting in a punch to the arm. You laughed pulling away from his hold on you.

"Goodnight Ryan." You turned your back to him and began unlocking the door as he still stood behind you. As the door opened you turned around, smirking before kissing him one last time for the night.

"Call me."

"I'd be an idiot not to."

"What's new?"

End.

@gnarkillknoxville @jackussy420 @lovexjoe @steve-osahottie @stratossphere @izzaaaaaa @jackassvivalabam03 @nonbinarypontius

[satellite-blossom]

NEW ART !? It's more likely than you think !

I've redesigned Léa's Magical form again, but this time around I've actually colored (& shaded) the whole thing ; I'll share more of my process under the read more.

Feel free to reblog this (but it's ok if you don't) !

(Léa use they/them pronouns and are agender)

So this is Léa's old Magical form, or at least the last art of it I had completed before the 2024 version :

I was going for a fancy, somewhat ouji inspired outfit that'd still be comfortable to wear, as Léa Acorn's style is all about being cute yet comfy. Their body saw no change from their regular form.

I think I was already not fully satisfied with this design by the end of 2021, but as time went on my list of grievances kept growing longer. I started to dislike how much of the design was pure white ; it's not really something I like on Magical Girl designs but for some reason I included it here, probably because I was trying to branch out and take inspiration from series like Lolirock & Pretty Cure for once. I also ended up finding the jacket kinda dumb, or at least the way it fit on top of the shirt seemed off. I had no idea how to color the shoes when I drew this design and it was bugging me more and more over time.

But while I fell out of love with the outfit, my main grievance was the staff-paintbrush-scythe hybrid, which was not only drawn poorly but also pretty boring. I couldn't help but try to redesign it just a month or two after completing the new ref, but I didn't want to redo the whole thing as back then I still made my refs in Microsoft Publisher with the help of Photofiltre, which was a slow and painful process I dreaded.

(Léa's Mobian forms 2021 ref, for... Reference)

So between my laziness, art block and the general state of my life I wasn't able to complete any new design before this year (2024). Let's break down this new design, shall we ?

This was my main inspo board this time around :

As you can see I kept the lolita/ouji influence but added some streetwear elements to it. I felt like the previous design didn't do a great job showcasing the mix of preppy prince & comfy fashion Léa are supposed to encapsulate, so I brought up pictures of a character that had only influenced their story and personality so far : Sora from Kingdom Hearts !

It's not something I bring up a lot anymore, but I used to be well-versed in Kingdom Hearts lore and Léa's story was heavily influenced by it ; they were even supposed to fight with a keyblade at one point ! Design-wise, I borrowed the length of Sora's shorts/jumpsuit for Léa's bloomers, and replaced their cropped suit jacket by a short-sleeved hoodie (which also mirrors some of their Sonic.exe world designs). I mixed these elements with lolita items for a cuter look.

Léa share my love of ties, so I've replaced their bow tie by a regular one ; it's somewhat short to showcase their shirt, which is a revamped version of the old one.

For the legwear I took inspiration from some long flowy legwarmers I saw in a few fairy kei coords, and also the shoes from this CocoPPaDolls screenshot I've taken years ago, back when the game was still up :

(I miss this game every day)

And of course I needed the shoes to be velcro LED shoes, because that's just the Léa Acorn way.

The rounded pink heart-shaped gems throughout the outfit were somewhat inspired by Amulet Heart from Shugo Chara.

Talking about gems, time to talk about the staff ! It was inspired by Amulet Spade's paintbrush, some Lolirock items, and a bunch of bootleg Magical Girl wands. Why reference bootleg wands, you might ask ? Well, since they're already off compared to the real deals, they allow me to not design wands that are too similar to ones from well-known properties.

I've been meaning to make Léa's eyes pink in their magical form for years but didn't actually follow through for a while. I ended up making their eyes brownish pink to not make their eyes too light, as I felt like it'd remove some of their charm (I already felt guilty for not keeping their eyes brown in this form). And of course, I had to bedazzle their eyes to hell and back.

Actually all this shininess and sparkling was inspired by the original drawing of Léa's Magical Form drawn all the way back in 2017 and redrawn in 2018 :

For some reason I took a lot of inspiration from Sailor Moon for these despite Léa's role being inspired by Card Captor Sakura (and Kingdom Hearts). Also Wish Gems used to be called "Magical Chaos Emeralds" and look just like the regular Chaos Emeralds, which was kinda dumb. But I loved the energy of these pieces so I've tried to recapture the "sparkly pink magical transformation void" vibes they had ; I hope I've succeeded on that front.

Anyway, thank you for reading this all the way through ! I hope this was an interesting read, somewhat.

[itwoodbeprefect]

5, 8, 13, 37!

5. Share one of your strengths.

i was trying to think of something i haven't answered to this type of question in similar ask games before, so i'll go with a slightly sideways take and say, hey, i like my own writing. which is great! it means i get to have fun writing it, and it's (mostly) not a chore to read it a dozen times, and then once it's posted i optionally get to sit down and read this story i like that checks off a whole bunch of specific things i want from fic. i would never ever have been able to write as much as i have, or learn to write as well, if i didn't enjoy reading my own writing.

-

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

this is from something that still hasn't been posted (though soon, hopefully. let's ignore that i've been thinking that about this fic for at least six months), but i think it's a fun exchange that fits the way steve and danny express their love through their bicker-banter dynamic, and i really enjoy how this flows with the bits of description too:

The door to the master bedroom doesn’t creak either, but the bed rustles when the dark shape of Steve’s head pops up. “What’s happening?” Steve asks, at a tone a touch too proud to be a whisper. He doesn’t sound like Danny just woke him up, but that might just be Steve’s Steveness.

Danny pauses at the foot of the bed regardless. He’s tired, so he figures it’s best to go hard on the offensive rather than prepare for a lengthy sparring session. A little too much truth usually does the trick. “I miss you.”

“I’m right here,” the Steve shape says, from right there.

Like Danny doesn’t know that. “I know that,” he says, because he does know that. He knew that even when he was in the other room, and it didn’t functionally change anything. “Did I say I was being rational about this?”

The Steve shape is quiet for a moment, like he’s waiting Danny out. “Well, what are you doing all the way over there?” he asks eventually, like that’s the part of what Danny is doing that’s insane.

Danny’s chest finally feels whole again, but he ignores it because he’s busy walking around the bed and getting in under the sheet and complaining. “You hadn’t invited me yet. I’m not in the habit of climbing into other guys’ beds uninvited.”

Steve flops down on his front, muttering right into his pillow, “Yeah, you are.”

-

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

show don't tell? which is tricky because like almost any writing advice, it's not a magical rule that always applies and can never be broken, and you do need to learn how to apply it well. but oooh. ohoho. if a newer writer starts figuring this out, it levels up their writing tenfold. i know mine got better when i started doing this more intentionally.

-

37. Talk about your current wips.

oooh, i don't even know what counts as a current wip for me at the moment, so this will be very scattered. but i guess the things that have been on my mind the most are the last chapter of A flip-flop state of mind (it will happen! at some point!); the nearly finished h50 fic that the snippet above is from (which is superficially about junior moving out of the mcgarrett home, but that's just a cover for a very domestic getting together fic); another h50 fic that's, well, more domesticity (but established relationship), and is 95% dialogue so far, though it's not supposed to become a dialogue-only fic; somehow two different starsky/hutch fics of which both are in some way inspired by a song by dutch singer boudewijn de groot; another starsky/hutch fic based on a dutch song, only this time it's by someone else (and more actively relevant to the fic. i may end up translating the whole song if this fic ever gets posted, purely as optional context); a bad buddy fic in which pat and pran's respective best friends try to be annoying (affectionately) but get outclassed by patpran's competitive streak, and they all acknowledge (some with more dismay than others) that they've become friends; and finally another bad buddy fic which. i think it's done, probably. it's been done for weeks, i just can't decide if i like it the way it is or if i need to figure out a way to switch a certain part up before i hit post. i think at least in part it's that i'm running into the inherent difficulty in getting a character to Sound Right through a translation, which has made me go "oh my god how did i do that" a lot at the many many years i was constantly writing dutch fic for english media. but i'll figure it out! i hope.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

In the last few days, I've made two long and rambling posts about Cowgate, a short incident from 2003 that haunts my nightmares. I think people should know that when I make posts like that - the ones that go way too long about something entirely niche - I am operating under the assumption that absolutely no one is reading this bullshit. Even the small handful of people who read this blog regularly, I assume you skip over those ones.

That's not just a hypothetical assumption, I make writing choices accordingly. I assume the only purpose of this post is to give me somewhere to put the hauntings besides my nightmares, and therefore, it doesn't matter if it's readable. I know that my whole blog is full of errors, but on posts like that, I get especially lax with things like editing. I go really deep on things where on a different post, I might think - okay, that's far enough. Because no one is reading this.

I have now been proven wrong several times about those couple of posts, which both mildly embarrasses and delights me. First of all, I got this great comment from @beastlyanachronism, which is now how I love to picture myself:

Then, the wonderful @lastweeksshirttonight proved that they'd read not only the posts but the comment, by immediately messaging me a corresponding picture. I replied that I love the image, I will definitely start my post with that image the next time a new Cowgate-based detail is found and I need to write about it. I didn't expect that to be soon, though. Breakthroughs are few and far between.

But then, I got another message, proving that at least three different people have read my post (actually four, if you count the very kind British man who read my post and then sent me a message to explain the nuances in the expression "bottle it"). And that last message is the reason for this post. Because, I can't believe I've been given cause to use this image so soon:

Further content behind the cut, because not everyone needs this content all over their feed.

This relates to the message I got last night, from the extremely helpful @linkeightvideo, who not only read my posts, but joined the cause and did his own research. And came up with this link:

The Metro cow is a thing!!! I knew the wording of that YouTube comment was weird (calling it "the Metro cow", rather than something like "a cow that said Metro on it"), suggesting that this was a specific and recognizable instillation. And I was right! But I cannot take credit for figuring that out, all credit goes to @linkeightvideo, who is the best.

The above link is to an archived version of an article from August 5, 2003, about three weeks before Cowgate occurred (which was August 26, 2003 - fun fact that has absolutely nothing to do with anything because to the best of my knowledge he wasn't there or anything, but that was also Nish Kumar's eighteenth birthday). The article is from the Edinburgh Fringe website. It's short enough so I'm just going to paste its text in full:

The Fringe was hit by a bunch of cotton-pickin', rootin-tootin' cattle ruslers in the early hours of Saturday night. The almost life-sized, bright blue and red Metro bull was stolen from outside the Metro Fringe Box Office. Metro newspapers are appealing for its safe return before the police are called and urge anyone with information to come forward. Metro Fringe Box Office Manager, Gillian O'Connor said: "We're distraught to have lost such a valuable member of the Box Office team! Please bring him back." The bull had just completed a secondment outside London's Victoria station, where he stood unmoved for a month. Yet after only a few days on duty with the Fringe he has gone missing leaving today's Festival Cavalcade a bull short of a procession.

That's it!!! That's the one! It was blue and red! I know it was blue and red, because Adam hills shouted "it's got red horns, it's all the rage". And it was almost life sized! And it said Metro on the side! Further research - also done by @linkeightvideo, he deserves all the credit in the world for this - finds that Metro sponsored the Edinburgh Fringe Festival that year, and also directly sponsored the Gilded Balloon venue.

So, the company called Metro had a large cow that was used in advertisements, and for one month in the summer of 2003, it was in London, outside Victoria Station. Then it was brought to Edinburgh, because they were sponsoring the festival and running a box office. They put it outside that box office, and it got stolen within "a few days" (which makes sense, as August 5th is a few days into the festival). It was meant to be part of the Festival Cavalcade, but couldn't be due to thieves.

Then, three weeks later, it spends all night on stage during a late-night comedy show in an Edinburgh venue that Metro sponsors, where it gets taken apart. How do we get from one state of affairs to the other? I don't know, but I'm a hell of a lot closer to understanding than I was yesterday. If the cow was somehow recovered, it would make sense from them to move it indoors, where it can be guarded better (again, credit for this idea goes to @linkeightvideo, and I think it makes sense). I mean, it can be guarded from drunk thieves in the middle of the night. Apparently the stage of the Gilded Balloon is not a good place to guard it from (shockingly) sober comedians in the middle of the night.

This made me try searching again for the specific words "Metro cow", and I found this article from December 12, 2003. It's a list of people who are involved with whatever organization this is, I'm not really clear on that. But it includes this one guy named Stephen Auckland. He's from the North of England, and as of when this was written, he was listened as the managing director of Metro. The bottom of his profile says:

An able sidekick to Associated Newspaper's Mike Anderson, even when it came to keeping up appearances following the disappearance of Mootro, Metro's cow mascot, from the Edinburgh festival. Auckland offered to dress up as a pantomime version. Luckily, they found the cow.

Guys! Guys! It has a fucking name! The Cowgate cow has a name! It's named Mootro! Now that I think about it, I actually can't believe I've never named the thing, given that I named the event (Cowgate), and giving the cow a name is the sort of thing I'd do. But I don't have to, because apparently it's named Mootro.

And the story has an update. It was stolen by August 5, and then it was found at some unknown point, and by August 26 it was in the Gilded Balloon. And then it got taken apart on stage.

I think this brings up one obvious question, which is: if this thing was important enough for its theft to be reported on the Edinburgh Fringe website, how come they were allowed to destroy it? The obvious answer would be that it was specifically made for just that one Edinburgh Festival, and was meant to be destroyed at the end of it anyway. But why did it spend a month in London right before that, then? And why would they do that anyway? Surely it's not efficient to make something like that for only a month, you'd think they'd plan to have it last a while and move it around based on where they're sponsoring things.

I can't believe this. This is the biggest revelation since I figured out who the fuck Karen Koren was, the woman referenced in Adam Hills' song, after after ages of Googling comedians named "Erin Coren" (finally worked out that she was the venue owner, which seems obvious now but it hadn't occurred to me at the time, when I was expecting it to be a reference to another performer). Actually, this is a much bigger revelation than that one, which just explained a couple of Adam Hills' lyrics. This is the biggest revelation in all the Cowgate research yet. The two main questions at the heart of the Cowgate mystery are: "Why did you do it?" and "Where did you get the cow?" And now one of those questions has been answered! It has a fucking name!

That second article referred to it specifically as the Metro "mascot". I guess a company is going to make more than one version of a mascot. But still, I don't think you're allowed to just destroy a sponsor's mascot. Maybe that mascot was at the end of its life anyway? Maybe Daniel Kitson just doesn't give a fuck? Maybe Daniel Kitson stole the cow in the first place. There's a whole new question. Who stole the cow? How did they get it back? How did it get from there to its whereabouts on August 26?

I know it wasn't on the Gilded Balloon stage every night of the 2003 Edinburgh Festival, because there's no sign of it in this montage, from Late 'n' Live on August 19, 2003 (also a fun video and great snippets of Chocolate Milk Gang history, if you can get past the second-hand embarrassment of Kitson trying his rap battle thing with an actual musician, and the presence of an actual musician makes the whole thing seem less ironic and therefore harder to watch - but you do get to see David O'Doherty beat up Jason Byrne and that's hilarious, also it's very funny to watch Daniel Kitson do something as out of character as brag about "nearly" winning a Barry Award and having a girlfriend from Australia, especially given how the latter turned out):

So it wasn't there on that night. Also, it just couldn't have been there every night. The Gilded Balloon is a proper venue that has proper shows during most of its time, it couldn't just have a large cow on stage for all of those. Also, in the beginning of that montage video from August 26, you see Kitson talking to the audience about the cow, and it sounds like he considers its presence as much of a novelty as they do. I mean, he's making fun of them for thinking it's a novelty, but he doesn't seem familiar with it, it seems like something he has to address:

This is the main reason for my theory that they didn't plan it beforehand, the montage shows the audience giving Kitson challenges for easy things to do with the cow, he asks them for more difficult challenges and then the video cuts, but I think the audience then asked him to tear it apart. It's a theory that makes sense based on some circumstantial evidence, but it does open up other questions. The main one being whether you can get permission to destroy a company's mascot between the beginning and the end of a comedy show, especially a comedy show that takes place entirely in the middle of the night. It doesn't seem likely. It also opens up some smaller questions, like what they were planning as the end of the show - the finale of the last night of Late 'n' Live, so you'd think they'd have something - that got bumped for this.

This reminds me that I had some further thoughts on the other mystery, of what actually went down on the night of August 26. I was thinking of the somewhat blue sky theory of there being two previous. Evidence for this: Adam Hills referred to "three chances", they were able to pick up chisels off the ground that seemed to just be lying around (possibly having been discarded after previous attempts), and Kitson in that video does have their air of someone who's already watched this go wrong and is really determined to make sure they get it fucking right this time. Evidence against: I'm not sure that works from a show planning perspective. What if it had worked on the first try, then what would the finale have been? If they'd watched it fail twice, would they really have made it the finale, knowing it may well fail a third time and that would be a shit ending? Though this could possibly be explained by the presence of the pipe that someone runs on stage, significantly increasing their chances compared to any attempt where that pipe was not in play.

I thought of something else today: the cow was already down when they started that video. Earlier in the night, we see comedians sitting on the cow, it's standing up. But at the end, when those guys run out to try to take it apart, they don't have to knock it down first. It's already lying on its side. They could have knock it down just before starting the song, but why would they do that? Surely knocking it down would be a fun dramatic moment, so if this were the first time they'd messed with the cow, they'd leave the knocking down to be part of the process. Unless this weren't the first time, and they had dramatically knocked it down before starting to try taking it apart, but this one done at some earlier point that the video didn't catch.

Anyway. That's the revelation. Along with some further thoughts on theories, but the main thing is the revelation. Massive breakthrough, and I need to thank @linkeightvideo one more time for research that he was under absolutely no obligation to do, but he came through anyway. What a legend. Am I using the British expressions right? What a solid gold legend.

[goodluckclove]

I have a project that I started for Nanorimo. I won Nano but after it was over I lost the motivation to write the last of the first draft. I think it’s a combination of not knowing exactly how to end it, not a lot of people to share it with, and being worried that I’m gonna re-read what I have and just find it bad.

Hello, Friend! Please, sit down. Take a deep breath. I'm going to say a variation of a form of writing advice that I'm sure you've heard a lot, but I'll hopefully elaborate it to the point where it clicks. I actually started writing through NaNoWriMo, it was a really great way to build up the muscle of consistent practice. Did my first six or so novels like that. Fun!

But I have good news and bad new about your first draft. The bad news is that it probably isn't perfect. The good news is that that's a great place to be in.

For one thing, NaNo specifically is not a traditional way to write a very stable first draft. People will spend years on what you've done in 30 days. To compare them is comparing your blanket fort with someone else's McMansion and thinking "dang what if my blanket fort never has faux-Roman arches".

Some people say their first drafts are perfect. This confuses me but I accept it and believe them when they say it. I do think that these people are not talking about drafts they carved out of word-flesh in a month or less. That's an entirely different game to play. When you hear people talk about how you're supposed to have a shitty first draft it could be hard to swallow. We don't want to feel like we put in all this hard work to make something shitty. So maybe I can say it a different way:

Your first draft is the skeletal structure of the story as a whole. It is the frame to what you're trying to achieve.

And I can say from experience that not liking your first draft doesn't feel the way you might think it will if you go at it the right way. I've written twelve books and there's only maybe two that I read fragments from and genuinely cringe. And even then there's still stuff I like about it.

Maybe you went into some kind of fugue state for a month and wrote a bunch of stuff that you hate every part of. You're a big high fantasy fan and you wrote a gritty detective novel. You love Dark Academia romance and when you read your NaNo you find it is just a list of every slur you could think of and new ones that could be added to the lexicon. If this happens to you then yes, your first draft is objectively terrible and you should probably take yourself to the hospital.

More likely your thoughts will look like this:

Maybe I should cut this. It's not really needed.

Oh I forgot the protagonist has this specific trait, I should remember that and incorporate more in the rest of the book

Hah yeah I see where I was going with this.

I should add more details about this concept, considering I now know about this other concept.

Hah man that's a lot of typos. (Assuming you're like me)

These are the types of things I have thought when I looked over literally every first draft I've ever edited since the dawn of my time as a writer. You are not likely to rend your clothes in shame and burrow underground. Even if you find some weird shift that happens in NaNo novels, like the genre or tone changing midway through the document - professional writers do that too. It can be a more efficient way to explore the space you're working it.

It can be a really interesting challenge! It helps too that you took some time off - I try and take at least a week between draft edits, even though it can be painful. You'll be able to see it with fresher eyes.

My usual strategy for editing my own drafts is to read from the top with curiosity and excitement and treat it like a puzzle. Is this what I want? Can it be better? Was there something I missed? Incidentally, when I'm stuck at a point in the novel I use the same trick and it helps every time. It's how Chuck Palahinuik did Fight Club!

So yeah you already did a huge thing by finishing a NaNo. Why not take a look back, if not just to enjoy the crazy and chaotic fruits of your effort?

Also - in regards to people not reading your work. Out of 12 novels I've probably had 3 read all the way through. It can suck, but it's okay and it doesn't mean they aren't good. Validate yourself and enjoy your own writing and start putting shit online/self-publishing/querying to take a chance!