#so the weight that I finally lost from the last round as well as my acne will probably be back

[bunnygirl678]

Great news team!

After an emotional call with the physical therapist I am able to get in tomorrow afternoon!!!

There were no openings until the end of the month but I was like… my dude I’m in constant level 8 pain, with spikes of 10 if I move wrong, I can’t turn my neck and pain killers are doing nothing.

So she put me on hold and worked some magic getting me in tomorrow afternoon,

Tens machine here I come!!! Shock me daddy lmao

[last-words-ofashootingstar]

Allure

Part Two:Knuckle Velvet

❥MATZ x fem reader

Part One(Sunshine)

Part Three(Smoke)

➯a/n: i'm so glad people like this story, i've spent so much time on it and it's a labor of love, enjoy part two <33 if you're new here, part one is very much needed to understand what's going on and please read the warnings and take care of yourself ! if you didn't see my update, i lost the final draft of part three and now only have a paper draft so apologies that it will take a little bit to be uploaded ❤️‍🩹

✃ "Mind, body, soul, and wolf."

♫"Nothing hurts like the way you do; like the way you say "I love you." " -Knuckle Velvet, Ethel Cain♫Allure Soundtrack

✫彡wordcount: 6.9k

(>ᴗ•)♡´･ᴗ･`♡genre: smut, YANDERE, a/b/o au

ಠ_ಠwarning/content: DEAD DOVE I MURDERED THAT BEOTCH chapter specific: not beta read(ironically), criminal MATZ, alpha MATZ/omega reader, forced soul bonding, forced marking, nobody is mentally well, yandere and possessive behavior, talk of murder, talk of drugs, bits of humor because i was going insane, smoking 🍃, sh in the form of putting joints out on skin(NOT READER, NOT DESCRIPTIVE), reckless driving(is that a warning?), reader needs a hug like honestly-

cunnilingus, nudity, heat cycle, outdoor, fingering, THIS IS NOT A NON CON FIC, ALL SMUT IS CONSENSUAL.

⁂perm taglist: @stvrfir3 @tunaasan @marievllr-abg

⁂fic taglist: @potatomountain @spooo00oky @choichaeyiul @cheynalexilaiho @haven-cove @hwasbabygirl @gong-fourz @chaotic-floral @hyukssunflower @unlikelysublimekryptonite @tinybada @sunnyhokyu @calisnewworld @elysiangroundsforall

MATURE UNDER CUT MDNI

˚➶ ｡˚ PART TWO ˚➶ ｡˚

Something is wrong.

The warmth of your bed calls you back to sleep as you stir.

Something is wrong.

The smell of cooking pancakes wafts through the air, your stomach churns in interest.

Something is wrong.

The hand on your side is so soft it's almost fleeting.

Something is wrong.

Your eyes snap open, blurry vision landing on an unfortunately familiar set of features. Long brown hair, full lips in a seemingly perpetual line, thick letters on his neck.

You let out a scream as your body catches up with your mind, kicking Seonghwas arm and crawling back into the corner of your bed. "Sleep well? I sure hope so, Hongjoong nearly cried because you didn't get to mark him back before you passed out." His calm demeanor is the very antithesis of your state; frazzled and heart beating wildly in your ears. "I'm not too pleased with waiting either."

You go to pull the blanket over yourself again when he rips it off the bed completely. "G-go away, or else..." Your weak attempt at a threat makes the criminal grin, and he stands from his squatting position, looming over your cowering form.

"Oh you don't know how deep in you are, do you?" He purrs, crawling onto the mattress. It creaks pitifully under his weight as he moves ever closer.

He stops just short of being right in your face. "We own you. And when you stop this little tantrum, mark us back... you own us. A little thing like you, been on that blocker for God knows how long, you won't last but a few more hours until you're running to us with your tail between your legs. Hormones flooding your system, begging for your alphas...Begging for your mates." His eyes flick to your bruised shoulders, their marks peeking out of your scrubs. "Don't make us wait too long now, omega. We aren't patient men."

"Hwa!"

He leans away from you, yelling back to the voice, "what?!" His booming voice makes you jump, and take a deathly tight grip your pillow.

"Food!"

He looks back to you, and it's as if you can tell what he's thinking. You shake your head, slapping his hand away when he goes to grab your wrist. "C'mon now, you won't want an empty stomach when we mate-" He's cut off when a pillow hits his head, leaving him to let out an exasperated sigh.

Hongjoong turns around just as Seonghwa rounds the corner with your fidgeting form over his shoulder. "Hey, Dolly!" He greets casually, like this is an everyday occurrence, as he sets down the plate he's holding next to the other two on your little round table.

"Help! Help me!" You scream, gasping as you're quite literally thrown in a chair.

"No use in that," Hongjoong begins as he sits opposite of you, "no one will hear you. We cleared this place out. If they aren't dead, they're in the prison with our pack."

       Your eyes well with tears. You don't doubt his words for a second. Massacring and holding a town hostage wouldn't even be on the top three of their crimes.

      You take a shaking breath and gather yourself, glaring at the blonde silently. "Oh are you mad?" He asks teasingly. "We made ourselves comfy, hope you don't mind! Lovely little place you've got here."

You choose to stay silent, not trusting your own voice as it wavers even in your head.

"Eat up," Seonghwa pushes one of the plates to you, but Hongjoong snatches it back, eyeing you as you eye it.

It's been a full day since you've eaten, judging by the rising sun in the window. And you silently curse yourself for skipping lunch.

"Something you need to do first, Dolly." He taps his neck, a small grin playing at his lips as he notices your eyebrows push together. He wishes he could crawl into your head and see all of those thoughts that are undoubtedly suffocating you.

And they are. Your lungs feel heavy as you weigh every option against one another. You could run- but you've never outran an alpha, let alone two. You could hide- but that didn't work too well in the prison. You could simply refuse to return the bite- but the last wolf who did that was turned inside out, literally. You could simply cry and hope for their mercy- but you knew it would never come.

Your chair scratches the hardwood under it as you slowly push yourself away from the table. You notice you're missing your shoes as you trudge the few feet that feel like miles.

Hongjoongs head is eagerly turned to the untainted side, Seonghwa's mark mirrored to where you must leave yours.

You attempt to tune out the joyous howling of your wolf, tell her this is not a good thing. But she doesn't care. All she says is-

Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate.

You wince as your canines push through your gums unannounced, lip snarling upward to give them room.

Seonghwa watches with a sadistic glint in his eye as you bend forward, tears building up in your own.

You hate to admit that Hongjoong, both of them really, smell wonderful. But your wolf sure doesn't, she only chants louder.

Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate.

Your anxious breathes fan against his neck, goosebumps arising in response and anticipation.

His heart is skipping beats. You're so close that you can hear it.

Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate.

With a quick movement, your teeth are sunk into his flesh, forever bonding you.

˚➶ ｡˚

    The searing water pelts your back. Steam swirls in the air. Your cries and sniffles echo on the linoleum tile.

     After marking both alphas you didn't have much appetite but, after helping you rinse your mouth, Hongjoong had made you eat everything on your plate before he let you run to the bathroom and lock yourself in.

     Despite the pull in his gut, the urge to break down the door and comfort you, Hongjoong had forced himself to leave. He couldn't listen to your cries, even if he was the cause of them.

      That left the older alpha alone in your humble living room. He tuned his ears to focus on the rainfall, the rolling thunder, the periodic knocking of your air conditioning, anything but the sound of your sorrow.

    You don't quite find it in yourself to care who is or isn't in your home, you find yourself with a much more immediate problem.

     Seonghwa was right.

   You feel heat bubbling to life in your lower stomach, slowly consuming the ball of anxiety that resides there. Your wolf is loud. She won't shut up. Mate this, mate that, knot this, and knot that. You wish with every ounce of your being that she wouldn't be such a primal animal, but that's much like expecting a wild animal to be house trained.

     You find your tears slowly drying, washed away from your cheeks by the ever falling water.

     You hadn't had a heat in a good long while. And now you were mated to two alphas? Seonghwa was right, and you are beyond fucked. You'd never even had a partner during a heat.

     A whimper trembles past your lips without your consent, small and pathetic much like how you feel.

You go to grip the knobs, gasping as you see your claws. They look thicker than before, darker as well. You bring them to your face, turning your hand over and inspecting them. "What..."

A knock at the door startles you enough to grab the tub, new and improved nails leaving indents on the acrylic fiberglass. "(Y/n)? Don't get too hot, the steam is coming out into the hall."

"Go away!" You squeeze your eyes shut, praying Seonghwa didn't hear the sorry crack in your voice.

Your prayers, much like yesterday, go unanswered, unheard. "Are you okay in there? I know... I know the situation isn't ideal-"

"Shut up!" You growl, hand immediately slapped to your mouth in shock of your own outburst. The quiet is eating you alive, making you wish the raining water above you would somehow drown you.

"I'm coming in."

"No! Just fucking leave me alone." Your eyes are wide at the sound of your own voice once again. You, your body is curled into the corner of the tub wanting to disappear and become one with the tiles below you. You, your mouth is loud and proud with your anger.

He opens the lock with his claw, breaking your deceptive sense of privacy. The stream rises into the hall in a thick fog, obscuring his vision. He tries to look for your outline behind the shower curtain but he finds nothing. When a small sniff sounds, his eyes flick to the source. The shadow of a curled up body.

When he grab the curtain, your voice comes out quietly. "Please don't touch me."

"I won't." He speaks shortly, opening the fabric just enough to turn off the water. Immediately, with no sound to drown it out, he hears your irregular heartbeat. "I won't," he says with a voice soft with promise.

The silence drapes you both, listening closely to one another for any sign of movement or speech.

Your ears are perked up, eyes wide and wild as you watch his silhouette take a seat on the closed toilet. He seems to be watching you as well.

"You're in heat." He breaks the hush with a punch. It's not a question, more so it's an observation from his sharp senses.

"Yes." You whisper back.

"How long since you had your last one? That blocker was in there deep." His voice holds something like quiet empathy, which makes your wolf want to crawl to him even more. You try to calculate the years to give him a good estimate of how bad this will get, but your brain feels too hot in your head.

"Long," is all you can muster up.

The quiet blankets you again, the only sound the raging storm outside. A clap of thunder makes you jerk, wrapping your clawed hands around yourself for a sense of comfort.

His hand comes through the gap in the curtain, holding your large fluffy towel. You take it with an almost silent thank you, wrapping it around your shoulders as you stay seated.

He watches the steam dissipate, surveying your small bathroom. The tub and shower which currently holds you takes up the short wall. The toilet he sits on has a soft fabric covering on the lid, the short blue yarn matches the color of the walls and the striped curtain. Your medicine cabinet has small little flowers painted on it with an obviously careful hand. Your products on the counter are organized in re-used plastic containers. Your clothes are set on the edge and awaiting you.

He wonders what you'll do to their home when it becomes yours as well.

When you shuffle, he looks back to your distorted form. Slowly standing, you clear your throat. "Can you, uhm..."

"Yeah, yeah, sorry," he mutters as he stands, closing the door behind him.

Taking a peek around the drape, you make sure he's really gone before you step out and quickly dry yourself off, blinking away the tears that start to build again.

     With a fresh outfit on and having scrubbed off as much of them as you could, you step out of the bathroom for the first time in hours. Hongjoongs scent is weak, making you briefly wonder where he went as you tip toe around your own home.

     The door to your room is still ajar, but a glimpse inside shows no sign of the alpha who's smell is still strong. The sound of the TV draws you out to the compact living room. There, you can see the back of his head as he faces the box television, watching a rerun of Starsky and Hutchy.

     He says nothing as you sit down, and you say nothing back. He's not paying attention, and neither are you. But neither of you dare speak first.

˚➶ ｡˚

How you fell asleep, you have no idea. But the slam of the front door makes you jump awake, grabbing the nearest object which happens to be Seonghwas forearm.

He places his hand on yours wordlessly and turns to see whoever has the nerve to wake you. "Mingi?" He groans after a moment of reflection.

The strange man in your home, Mingi, is tall, taller than Seonghwa- and it makes you cower into the alpha subconsciously. He shakes the rain water out of his short pink hair in a way akin to a dog after a bath, unbothered by the glare and the wide eyes on him. "Hey!"

"What are you-"

"Joong sent me," he lifts up a duffel bag with a grin, kicking his shoes off as to not drag mud into your home and piss off his alphas mate. "Hi," he smiles more politely towards you as he slowly approaches, noticing your arms tremor.

"You forget how to knock?" Seonghwa grumbles as he stands, hand hesitantly leaving your own as he walks behind the couch to join the man.

"Well I didn't hear anything, I figured you were sleeping or something." He shrugs simply as he sits the bag on the sewing machine you use as a desk.

"We were, asshat." The brotherly bickering of the pack mates makes you smile, and you hide your lips in the cushion as you watch them carefully from you backwards seating on the couch.

     The pink haired man's attention lands on you as Seonghwa looks through the clothes in the bag. "Hi, 'm Mingi," he smiles kindly, holding his hand out to you only for it to be smacked down quickly by Seonghwa with a glare. "Uhm, rude," he rolls his eyes with a clear playfulness.

     "No touching," he huffs shortly, eyes flicking back to you. "He touches you, I cut off his fingers. I'm going to shower." He leans over the back off the couch and lifts your face out of the fabric gently, taking your lips in his possessively, leaving you flabbergasted as he leaves as quick as he came.

     Mingi whistles lowly as the bathroom door closes, chuckling at your starstruck expression. "This fuckin' guy, am I right?" He jokes, smiling awkwardly as he shifts his weight from foot to foot. "I'm an omega too, don't worry. I know it's scary coming across new wolves when you're like us, not knowing..."

      You nod silently, eyeing him up for any sign of danger. But you only find him shivering. "You want a towel or something...?"

    "Oh, if it's not any trouble," he smiles again, the gummy nature of it reminds you of Jihyun, and you find a lot of your nerves draining away. He's an omega like you, so you have a fair chance against him. And despite everything, you doubt Seonghwa would let anyone hurt you, let alone someone from his own pack.

    You sneak by him quickly and into the closet in the hall next to the bathroom, where you can hear the water running.

     "Here you go," you hand it over before taking a seat again, turning backwards on the couch to keep an eye on him as he towels off his hair.

    Starsky and Hutch keeps the silence from being too stiff, but it's clear Mingi has a lot of words on his tongue fighting to come out as he dries his arms.

    "Do-"

    "Is-"

    "Sorry," you both mumbles as you speak over each other. You motion to the seat next to you and he takes it with a quick, "thanks."

    "So," you begin, tucking your knees under your chin, "he's your alpha?"

    "Both of them, they lead together." He nods as he speaks, looking around your home.

    "That's weird," you mumble to yourself, picking at the string on your sock, "how does that work?"

     "Well... I mean they just kind of lead us all together. Make decisions together, it's not a dictatorship actually- they let us vote on stuff sometimes, it's nice. I'm sure you'll come to understand our pack, we're just a bit... different."

    "How did, uh, I mean I've heard some stuff, I dunno-"

    "You can ask me. I know those two probably weren't very talkative."

   "Yeah," you chuckle quietly, taking a peek at him, "they made their own pack, right? How did you end up here?"

    He looks back at you and slowly relaxes in his seat, both of you growing more comfortable as your wolves sniff one another out. "Yeah, that's right. They didn't roll up on a village like this and say, 'who's the strongest, let's fight', like most alphas come to be. They found each of us and asked us to join, didn't just demand it. I was one of the first, actually. They found me stealing some food in Minnesota, told me pledge my loyalty and I'll never be cold or hungry again."

   "And?"

  "Hm?"

   "Have you been?"

    "Never," he shakes his head, "they're good alphas. Maybe not the best people, but good alphas. I'm sorry you had to join us this way... they can be a bit impulsive, impatient." His eyes are low and voice even lower, like he's trying to hide his words from the man who's most definitely listening in. "They aren't monsters, at least not the kind the news makes them out to be. They're the monsters the world shaped them into."

     You feel his wolf calling out to yours, albeit weakly. You've never felt it before. Is it because you're finally apart of a real pack? Because you're his alphas mate? Your eyes flick to your wolves and his follow suit, a pink color that matches his hair.

"Mingi." His voice breaks your small staring competition, both of you looking to him. He looks a lot different on his own clothes, and it makes your annoyingly loud wolf even louder. His forearm sleeve and neck tattoo is on show in his dark grey wifebeater, finally freed from the long sleeve orange top. The marks on his shoulders are out and proud as well. His bell bottom jeans make his long legs look even longer, like he's more than half leg. His inked up fingers work nimbly to buckle his belt. That's when you finally look away, sinful thoughts flooding your head thanks to your building heat.

"Has Hongjoong come up with a plan with the rest of you?"

     You don't register that he's come up to the couch until he's picking you up. You grab onto his shoulders and bite your lip as you yelp.

     "He says we should just sneak attack their camp, Jongho's been able to sus out their location with his-" Mingi clears his throat to stop himself as Seonghwa sends him a glare while he sits, settling you in his lap. "With some intel... says they only have two scouts at a time."

You curl up on yourself, breathing deeply- which turns out to be a grave mistake. Seonghwas sandalwood scent floods you all at once, the musky smell of the prison washed away. A wave of arousal hits you like the one in the shower, and he squeezes you closer to his chest.

"He'll tell me about it later, go on and go back to the prison and tell him come back."

"Wha-"

"Go now."

"Yup, yeah, I'm gone." Mingi jumps up, leaving the towel on the couch as he dashes to the door, disappearing with a quick, "later!"

You try to scramble away the second the door shuts, but the alpha grabs your ankle and pins you to the couch. "Please, please!" You shake your head while sniveling, quieted when he cups the back of your neck softly.

"Calm down, omega," he whispers, keeping his weight off of you, "you need us to get rid of that heat, you know that don't you?"

You nod dreadfully, burying your face in the cushion. "I don't want-"

"Tell me what you want, and that's what I will do. Nothing more. I won't force you to do anything but I won't let you suffer in your heat, do you understand?"

"Yes..."

"Do you want me to let you go?"

Despite yourself, you whisper, "no..."

"Tell me how to help you. Tell me what you want. Tell me what you want, omega, and I will give it to you."

˚➶ ｡˚

By the time Hongjoong crashes through the front door clumsily, both of you are gone from the couch. A trail of torn clothes and the call of soft moans lead him to your bedroom, the door open wide to provide him a beautiful view.

You, in your bra and nearly nothing else. Legs spread around Seonghwas shoulders and socked toes curling into the bed. Your sharp teeth out and peeking through your lips as they part with a moan.

Seonghwa, kneeling and back arched as he anchors himself between your legs, forearms wrapped around your thighs. His tank top rising up to expose the ink on his lower back. Low, muffled moans rumble in his throat.

      "Started without me?" He asks smugly after he catches his breath from the overwhelming scene.

     Seonghwas head snaps back at the intruder, eyes red and jaw slick- but he goes right back to his meal, making you yip in surprise. Your eyes stay locked on his, lit aglow just like the alphas between your legs. Your chest rises and falls with bated breathes.

"Hongj-ah!" You grip the straps of Seonghwas top, eyes squeezing shut as you whine.

     Your logic and reasoning went out the window the second Seonghwas eyes turned red with lust. Now, you let your wolf get what she wants for the time being. You forgot how badly heats burn.

     Your bed dips and creaks with the additional weight as the younger alpha joins you. You feel his breath over the healing mark he left, followed by a lick which makes you gasp.

     Every touch both extinguishes the burn and makes it hotter.

    "You smell so good," Hongjoong coos into your neck, hands slowly wrapping around your waist, "will you let me have a taste too?"

      "Y-yes!" You nod eagerly, fidgeting under his light touches until a slender hand presses down on your stomach to keep you in place, followed by a growl.

     "I'm not done, am I, omega? I thought you wanted to cum on my tongue? That's what you asked for, after all," Seonghwa teases as he pulls back, free hand playing with the slick between your thighs. He watches with a smirk as you nod, over and over. "Yeah?"

    "Yeah! Please, Seonghwa!" You feel a pinch in your gut as you beg for the criminal, but it's washed away with another surge of pleasure. A soft hand on your cheek makes you push your eyes open, coming face to face with Hongjoong.

     "Poor omega," he pouts as he traces your jaw, "those blockers are good for nothing, only cause problems. We'll take good care of you, don't worry. Anything you want, Doll. Anything at all."

     Your request is wordless. A pull at his belt loop with your clawed finger.

˚➶ ｡˚

You're fast asleep with your heat satisfied for the time being, sandwiched between the two alphas in your small bed. They keep quiet, enjoying the moment. They know that when you awake without your heat blurring your mind, you'll be distant again.

And they don't blame you.

Mingi was right, they're impulsive. They wanted you and they got you the second they could. They'll do whatever they can to make you realize you're meant to be their omega, their mate. They'll build the trust one step at a time, they just had to make sure you wouldn't slip away in the meantime.

Your breathes are slow and steady, deep in the hands of exhaustion. One of your legs is hooked across Hongjoongs hips, the other tangled in Seonghwas bell bottoms. Your arms are wrapped around the blondes neck, head buried in his shoulder.

Seonghwa has one arm tucked under both of your heads, fingers twirling Hongjoongs hair mindlessly as he holds a joint between his lips, inhaling deeply and letting the smoke out slowly. His pants are undone and underwear clumsily pulled back up.

      Hongjoong has his eyes closed peacefully, though he's not sleeping. He's listening intently to your heart beats, enjoying the familiar smell of his alphas smoking and the feeling of your naked body clinging to his.

       "Leave tomorrow?" Seonghwa whispers hushedly, letting the smoke in his lungs out in a puff.

     "The quicker we get home the better. We need to start making a real plan for that fuck face Greene." He snarls silently, pressing his nose into your hair in an attempt to calm himself.   

     "And make sure no one messed up while we were caged."

     "They told me Yunhos been taking care of the traffic flow, we should be good on that part. I just want to get my claws bloody."

    Seonghwa chuckles, rubbing his temple, "you know what's fucked? If that coward didn't rat us out, we wouldn't've found our mate."

      Hongjoong cracks a small smile, cradling your unconscious body close to his chest as Seonghwa stands. "Maybe I'll go easy on him then." He smirks, watching his shoulders bounce with silent laughter as he leaves the room, a trail of smoke following him.

     Seonghwa closes the bathroom door behind him, staring at his reflection. He takes the joint between his index and middle finger, leaning toward the glass.

     Hongjoong was made for this world, for his world. But were you? Had they just doomed you to a pitiful existence? Did he even care if they did?

     Peddling drugs and getting your claws bloody. He couldn't imagine you doing it. But he couldn't imagine letting you go.

     He pulls his jeans down and his boxers leg up, snuffing out the joint on his thigh.

˚➶ ｡˚

   "It ain't a crime to be good to yourself! Lick it up! Lick it up! Woooo!"

      Your body is slung to the door of the van as Hongjoong drifts around the corner, the loud rock music only rivaled by his singing of it. You grab onto the passenger seat infront of you to hold yourself steady. "Does he have to be the one to drive?" You yell to Seognhwa who's in the row of seats behind you, laid across them with a grin.

     "He likes to pretend he's driving The A Team van!" 

        The van skids to a stop infront of the prison, and you have to force yourself to look away least you think about the people who are still being held hostage inside. "C'mon up here, Doll," Hongjoong holds his hand out to you in offering, and you take it. You crawl over the cup holder in the middle and land in the passenger seat, grabbing the bag they had let you pack before dragging you away from your home.

     "Where are we going?" You ask quietly, thankful that Hongjoong had the ears to be able to hear you over his cassette.

      "Back to our stomping grounds," he hums as he hits the button to unlock the doors, letting in the approaching group of people. "Los Aranza, it's in sou-"

     "What's up fuckers?" A young man shouts over the music as he hops into the middle row, making you jump as you look back. He smiles your way kindly, uttering a softer, "hey." 

    Mingi, who throws you a small smile, is climbing in next with a buffer man who immediately gives you the chills and a woman who looks like a sore thumb in the group. 

     Mingi gets in the back with Seonghwa and the woman ends up in the middle seat between the two other men despite her complaints.

"(Y/n), this is Wooyoung," Hongjoong introduces you to the first man, who waves your way. "Lia," the woman returns your awkward smile of a greeting. "And San," who, you don't expect to, leans over the center console and takes you in a sideways hug.

"No touching!" A grumble comes from the back, making San chuckle as he leans back into his seat.

"Nice to meet you," he grins brightly, promptly buckling his seatbelt when he hears Hongjoong start the vehicle back up.

Everyone else quickly copies his actions, and you get the memo the moment before the van lurches to life quickly.

The first few minutes are awkward silence save for the music, which Lia thankfully made the driver turn down.

"So, (Y/n)," Wooyoung starts up, "I don't want you to worry so..." You look back over your shoulder, taking a note of the small freckle under his eye as you search his features. "I just wanted to let you know that we called the state police before we left, it'll take a few hours but the rest of your village won't be stuck in there for too long."

The sentiment gives you the smallest hint of relief, knowing that they won't just be left there to wither until someone would notice that the whole town disappeared off the face of the planet. "Thanks..." You nod shortly, taking the time turned around to inspect the other new faces as well.

Lia has a seemingly familiar set of round and soft features, but you can't quite place it. Nor can you place her ranking in the group. She doesn't smell like a wolf, but you don't want to pry.

San, however, has the clear ego of a beta; chest puffed out and radiating confidence, but not power. He's got a smile that doesn't match any of that though, and that along with his friendly actions make you think he's not as scary as he presents.

You turn back around and face the road, watching the sign for your town wiz past.

"How far to Los A..."

"Aranza! Maybe like... 26 hours?" Lia's words make you look to Hongjoong, who's tapping away at the wheel as he speeds.

"Seonghwa," you call out.

"Hm?"

"Can someone else drive?"

˚➶ ｡˚

Your request was denied, obviously, and everyone had to hang on every time Hongjoong made a turn or hit a bump. Admittedly, it was fun to watch him let loose and sing his heart out while the wind knocked his hair around. That, paired with the surprisingly kind conversation that the pack members made with you made for a good first three hours.

After that, Wooyoung got grumpy. "I'm hungry!"

Then, Mingi chimed in, "I have to use the bathroom!"

Then, San, "My legs asleep! Ow, really Lia?"

When you gave Hongjoong a begging glance, that's when he finally started looking for an exit on the highway.

The mom and pop restaurant was run down and quiet, but you were thankful that that meant less people to see the rag tag team of criminals you were with and potentially cause problems. The van was parked half hazardously in the back by the restrooms, and Mingi was the first out from the back doors, practically dashing into the men's room.

You grab the handle to the passenger side door only to be grabbed on the opposite wrist. You look to the assailant and see Hongjoong with a questioning gaze. "What? I have to...go," you shrug his hand away, opening your door and hopping down before he can stop you again.

You hear some soft foot steps enter the bathroom as you hover, but they don't enter a stall. "Did they send you to babysit me," you groan, nearly slapping yourself as you speak before thinking again.

"Yeah, sorry..." Lia's voice is apologetic, and when you finally exit: her face is as well. "They can be a bit...uhm."

"Paranoid? Overbearing?"

"Yeah," she nods softly, using the mirror she stands infront of to look at you as you wash your hands. The way your shoulders slump and your head hangs low makes her heart ache for you. "I hope we can be friends. You're going to need some in this side of the world."

You look in the mirror in front of yourself, matching her stance as you watch one another through the glasses. "I hope so, too."

     When you join the men back outside, they're all sitting on the curb with plastic bags infront of them. Lia sits in the space between Mingi and San, immediately grappling at the bag the ladder holds out to her. Seonghwa hands you one as well, nodding for you to take it, "yours."

    Inside is two large styrofoam boxes of delicious smelling food, and you look up with your brows pressed together. "This is a lot of food, Seonghwa, I'm not going to eat all of this." You set down one as you open up the other and sit on the warm concrete between the two alphas.

     "You need it, you're still in heat." He hums plainly, dropping a french fry into his mouth as San spits one out from his.

     "Hey!" You yell, feeling the heat of embarrassment rising up your neck.

      "What? It's true." He looks around to his pack members, seeing the three lower men looking away from you while Lia simply shakes her head at him, and Hongjoong nods.

     "He's right, we didn't even fuck- ow!" He glares at Mingi as he slaps him upside the head, "we didn't! We only y'know... messed around."

     "Bro, shut up!" Mingi sends you a quick compassionate glance before turning his face to his food. "You guys have zero tact."

     "Tact? What the hells that?" Hongjoong mumbles from around his burger, "you made that up."

  In defiance of your anger at him, his antics make you smile as you take a bite of food.

˚➶ ｡˚

The next stop the vehicle makes is in the dead of night, the spring moon full and bright.

It was only you and Hongjoong awake when you asked if their promise from earlier still stood: whatever you need and nothing more.

He was quick to peel off the road and park the sleeping group before leading you into the woods to satisfy your once again noisy wolf.

You hate that you nearly start howling aloud when he pushes your back onto a tree, hand behind your head to protect it from the bark, and begins kissing you like he did in your bed.

He takes it a step further, slipping his hand down now that Seonghwa isn't there. His lips meld into yours as he slips his hand under the elastic waistband of your shorts. They travel lower as his fingers do the same, feeling the warmth of your heat which makes him groan into your neck.

When he feels your hands on his shoulders, he closes his eyes and cherishes your touch, letting his wolf drive him forward and press his body to yours in an act of affection which makes you dizzy.

His fingers find their way inside of you, making you gasp toward the stars. His knuckles feel like balls of velvet in your overly sensitive body, driving you nearer and nearer to the cliff of pleasure your wolf desperately needs to dive off of.

        Omega heats are pathetic, you think to yourself as your knees buckle: only being held up by Hongjoongs weight pressing you into the tree as he gives you satisfaction you're incapable of giving yourself.

Thankfully, all too soon, your pleasure reaches its peak and you tumble over it, gushing on his fingers and clinging to him as he kisses the healing mark his teeth left. He wraps his free arm around your back, holding your waist tightly as you tremble. "That's it, Doll..." His voice raises bumps on the flesh of your shoulder, his heavy breaths fanning them.

You can feel his length hard against you, but you're too afraid and too ashamed to acknowledge it and he knows it. But he's content with whatever you give to him in the moment, he doesn't care about his own pleasure as long as his mate is taken care of. He presses his nose into your scent and breathes deeply, letting out a growl as he feels your core clenching.

You feel a sense of dread as you come back to your head fully, watching with wide eyes as he takes his fingers from your shorts and into his mouth. You quickly look away, and hear him chuckling.

"It's okay to want us, Pretty. We're your mates. We want you just as bad."

You share a moment of sincere eye contact before your tears blur his image. "I'm afraid." You confess in a short huff, breathing in the soft wind that surrounds you.

   "Of what? We'll never let anything hurt you." His voice holds a simple directness, he means every word he says and he doesn't see the need to be poetic with it. He just wants to convey the truth to you. "Anyone looks at you the wrong way and I'll gut them. I'll put their head on a pike to show everyone else not to fuck with you."

      With his body once again pressing into you, albeit with a softness that wasn't found in your last heated moment, you find yourself looking down to avoid his wild eyes. He can smell a bittersweet spike of fear in your scent, and his brows furrow together.

     "I'm afraid of you... and of Seonghwa. You frighten me. You don't-" You bite your tongue before you let your emotions speak for you. After a moment, you break your silence, "you don't even know me... and it scares me what you're willing to do. You're criminals. And if... if you don't find me a suitable mate that I'll be next on your list of victims. I didn't ask for this, Hongjoong... I didn't want this."

      His face is stoic for a spell, but his lips slowly curve upward into a bestial grin: followed by the giggles that had haunted your dreams after the first time you heard them. "Oh, (Y/n)," he snickers, eyes closing with the force of his laughter. It rings out in the silent night and mocks you. What could he possibly be finding so funny about your legitimate fears?

     His body collapses into you as he laughs manically, making you freeze with a cry- your body trying to make itself small. You close your eyes, taking sniveling breaths as you will yourself to block out the deranged laughter. "Oh, you're just so adorable!"

    "S-stop laughing at me," you whine, attempting to push his weight off of you as the bark begins digging into your back. He doesn't look it, but he's heavy as all get out as he slumps into you.

     He grips your wrists as you push at his chest and pins them into the tree with his claws caging them in, all laughter gone in a spilt second as he glares down at you. "Now you listen, Doll," he growls between his teeth, making you cry sharper and clench your eyes tighter. He doesn't like that one bit. "Look at me when I'm talking to you, omega!"

You sheepishly open your eyes, too afraid to disobey him even though he's scaring the living daylights out of you with his mood swings. His eyes slowly return to normal, black fading into nothingness at the sight of your fearful eyes.

"Now you listen close, yeah?" He speaks softer than before, kicking your feet apart to stand between them and get closer to you. "You don't quite understand, I think... We could fucking smell you the second we rolled into that place. Now, Seonghwa thought it was a trick- a stupid ploy to get us to be tame. But when you walked into the room, oh we knew it was real! Just one wiff of your fresh scent and my wolf was clawing to get out. Even with that stupid blocker in your neck, we could smell you and that's how we knew. Other alphas won't even understand so it's okay that you don't. But, Doll, you were made for us, and we were made for you. The moon cut us from the same cloth, three pieces from the same puzzle. You were ours the second you were born, and we were yours. We are each others. We are each other. Mind, body, soul, and wolf, we belong to one another. So don't think for a second that we don't know you, okay? We are you. We'll chase you to the ends of the goddamn Earth if we have to. So don't ever fucking say some shit like that again, got it?! I would break open my chest and shove you inside if that's what it took to keep you safe. I'd walk on my hands and knees for eternity if that's what it takes to make you happy! So don't say some shit like that again, am I understood? You are our mate and we will treat you as such, nothing less than a Goddess among wolves and we the Gods that rule beside you. Do you understand?"

You're too busy sobbing, your small sniffles having grown into full blown fat tears and cries during his monologue, to answer him. He withdraws his claws and your arms fall limp to your side. His palms are warm and comforting on your cheeks even as he says firmly, "nod if you understand."

And all you can do is nod pathetically.

˚➶ ｡˚ PART TWO END ˚➶ ｡˚

[ravcnism]

STRIKEOUT. ( PART 2 ) — KEN SATO x Male!Athlete READER

Summary: An after-party. A conversation-turned-confrontation. Kenji finally meets the esteemed Toyo Bullet and struggles to define the difference between anger, terror, and infatuation.

# # TAGS: Even More Tension, Kenji Has a Good Relationship with His Team, Intense First Encounter, Domestic Sato Family Shenanigans

# # WARNINGS: Mature Language, Alcohol Consumption, Nothing Too Crazy, No Beta Again We Die Like Onda

Note: Okay, here we go: the actual second part. Again, I am so sorry for accidentally publishing my draft earlier — I am ill with embarrassment. But I’m very happy to know that people look forward to it! If you read the false-post, then you’ve only read half of the chapter. This one has over 3000 words more! Enjoy.

“It was a nail-biter of a game here at the New Tokyo stadium tonight, folks. Right off the bat, both teams were going neck and neck, toe-to-toe. And it seemed like neither one was willing to give an inch! Our home team managed to pull off a narrow victory in the end, and by narrow, I mean narrow, Kiba.”

“That is absolutely right, Sasaki. I truly have never seen anything like it in my entire career. And you know- you know I know a lot of baseball. You know I’ve been doing this for many years, but wow! Just- insane.”

“Truly a close call. Eight additional innings? To break the tie? I cannot believe it. Let me tell you, neither the Hiroshima Toyo Carp nor the Yomiuri Giants wanted to lose today.”

“If you look at the crowd, It looks like everyone’s been wanting to go home.”

Exhausted was an understatement. Kenji hadn’t felt this drained after a game since, well, only months ago: when he was still juggling the responsibilities of raising a baby Kaiju, carrying the weight of being Ultraman, and maintaining his reputation as a well-known baseball player. All of these, on top of the sleepless nights, no longer hindered him from his work. He usually left the stadium feeling brand new every single time — regardless of whether they won or lost. He had grown and learned to lean on people, to ask for help, accept defeat. Which was good and all that, but the point was: he was exhausted from this game. You had him panting for air like an overworked dog.

Shimura had Kenji on the field for longer than he should have been. While his younger, more egotistical self might have loved his moment in the spotlight, running base to base for six innings in a row was unsurprisingly really tiring. The teams had hit a clean tie by the ninth inning, and the tie-breaker lasted for eight more. You were eating their rookies alive and having their journeymen for dessert. When Shimura realized that Sato was the only one batting your pitches, he had him play for every round after the tie. The only times Kenji wasn’t on the field was when you weren’t either. Which wasn’t a lot. It scared him how you looked like you could throw that ball for days.

“Hiroshima’s L/n is just- an absolute unit, isn’t he?”

“He certainly is, Kiba. He certainly is. I mean his performance was near inhuman tonight. Each pitch was a gem and we- he really wanted us to know that he’s here, he’s ready, and he’s willing to change Japanese baseball. He was a major force out there on the field.”

“I cannot agree with you more. But credit where credit is due, we all know that the only reason the Giants are coming home with tonight’s win is because of none other than Ken Sato himself.”

“That’s right, Sato really put up a fight. L/n was throwing him off balance every time, but he always found his footing. I think tonight might have been the hardest I’ve seen him work. You know he- he usually makes his plays look effortless — disregarding last season’s slump.”

“I say he held his own very, very impressively. The team was right to rely on him. I know we’ve spoken a lot about their tension, but I’d say it’s their dynamic that really drove the point home. They were like- mirrors of each other out there. When you put two equal forces together, they deflect. You know what I’m saying?”

Kenji’s hand shook with a weakness he wasn’t familiar with. He stared at his calloused palm and noticed his fingers twitching. Shit. It really was some game. He might have been hitting the ball, but he was barely getting it through the field. Not only were your pitches fast, but there was weight to them, too. He was witnessing the caliber of your capabilities; understanding why you were the talk of every city.

The rest of the Giants came walking into the locker room, jeering and laughing amongst themselves. “That L/n is a real piece of work, ain't he?” Shirakumo, number 24, sat himself next to Kenji, unlacing his shoe. “Never seen anything like it.”

“Did you see the look on Tateoka’s face?” Yuki laughed, smacking his thigh. “Dude was scared shitless!”

“Hey!” Tateoka frowned in reply, tugging his jersey off his arms. “You try standing in front of that guy and telling me you don't feel a little threatened.” He shuddered, remembering the look in your eyes. Dark and pointed and menacing. “He was staring me down like he was gonna—”

“Eat you alive?” Kenji scoffed.

The team went silent, then erupted into a cluster of teasing ‘oooh’s. God. It reminded him of highschool.

“Oohh, yeah.” Yamada, number 21, slid over to him with a teasing tone. He wrapped an arm around Kenji’s shoulder and squeezed him closer. “I don't think I've ever seen Sato so shaken!”

He laughed, playfully pushing him away. He was also actually really sore on that shoulder. Hell, he could already feel the pain he’d need to go through just to get up tomorrow. He was going to need another ice bath. The rest of the boys jumped in on the jokes.

“Did you see the way he was looking at you Ken?” Tokuda opened his locker, grabbing a shirt from the top shelf. He whistled. “Like he wanted your head on a plate.”

Tanaka chuckled. “He wanted you dead, man!”

Kenji rolled his eyes. “Alright, alright. Let's not get carried away. I never said I was shaken.”

“But that last bat was sweet as hell.” Yuki nodded. “I doubt any of us would've gotten through the guy if it weren't for Sato.”

“Well, duh.” Shirakumo shrugged. None of the Giants denied it. Ken was their star player. And tonight proved it more than ever. “We owe you for drinks, bud. Give us a date and we'll treat ya’ to someplace you like.” He slapped Ken’s back affectionately, which elicited a pained groan. “Shit, sorry.”

Kenji’s watch started beeping. He flinched at the sound, eyes widening slightly. “Uh, see you in a sec, guys. I gotta take this.”

He was there a moment, then gone the next. Kenji rushed himself out the hallways and into an empty locker room to answer Mina’s call. “Hey!” he greeted, anxiously. A screen projected itself from his watch and lit up his face. “Hey. Hi. What's wrong? Everyone alright? I know I said I'd be home soon, but the game took way longer than–”

He was interrupted by cheering. His father clapped and whooped with excitement as Emi occupied the background, screeching with glee. Kenji could see the ground shaking as she was jumping around and doing her special dance. One of Mina’s arms was protruding from the wall and waving celebratory flags. It immediately put a smile on his face, easing the tension from his shoulders. He was always happy to see everyone alright, and even happier to see them as their silly selves.

“Kenji!” cheered Hayao. “That was an incredible game! You were unstoppable!” The professor chuckled. Emi picked him up into a hug, slightly toppling the camera over. His legs swung like a ragdoll’s. “Okay, okay girl-”

Ken laughed, slightly shaking his head. “Easy, Emi. Put Grandpa down.”

“It was a very impressive game, Ken. Perhaps one of your bests.” Mina’s calculative yet affectionate voice echoed from his watch.

Hayao fell to the floor with an ‘oof’. “You didn't tell me you were playing against THEE Mets’ Bullet!” He scrambled to stand up, barely leaning on his cane. “I wasn’t even aware that he was signed into the Carp!”

Kenji’s smile immediately faded. “Okay.” He rolled his eyes. “He was alright, I guess. And we don’t actually know if he signed into it or if he was traded. We barely heard anything about him from the press.”

“Alright?” Professor Sato gasped, appalled. “Kenji, he was spectacular! He’s a lot like you, you know. I’ve always suspected that the both of you equalled in skill, but to see it in action? Phew.” He wiped some pretend sweat off of his forehead. “What a show! Eight extra innings to break a tie? Unbelievable! I highly doubt that he was traded. Who in their right mind would purposely lose a player like that?”

Kenji scoffed. “He wasn’t that good.” His sore limbs would like to say otherwise.

“He had you chasing after his pitches like a dog!”

“I don’t like that analogy.”

“I ought’ to rewatch that documentary they made about him. You know they’ve done studies on the physics of his throws.”

“Dad.”

“And how fortunate for Hiroshima to have gotten him out of all teams! I can tell that this season is going to turn around really fast. Just today he’s already scored-”

“Dad!”

“Oh. Sorry.” Hayao chuckled. “I’m just very excited to see the both of you on the same field.” Kenji sighed, nodding his head. “Anyway, congratulations on the win, my boy. I’m so proud of you. I always am. Get home safe. It may be late, but we still have a lot of leftovers from dinner!” Emi made a noise that let him know she was waiting, too.

Going home sounded like heaven. Ken wanted nothing more but to rest. Maybe kick back and have a chocolate shake while he and his family watched cartoons to fall asleep. It was the perfect way to end his night. It had been an unexpectedly long day and he looked forward to tomorrow’s well-earned break. Eight extra innings might even win him a second day of rest. Or a third, if Shimura agreed not to schedule him for the next game. Which, he doubted, if it meant you’d be playing.

“I’m on my way.” He ended the call, and opted to take the fastest way out, desperate to avoid the press.

Ken collapsed onto the floor, snuggling into Emi’s arm. Having washed up and eaten his dinner, he felt the last remains of his adrenaline-fueled strength die out like a dwindling flame. He felt as if his limbs were about to fall off. “Ugh,” he groaned. “I’m going to be so sore tomorrow.” Emi didn’t much care. She seemed to be preoccupied by the new ( gigantic ) stacking blocks that Mina made for her. Ken sighed, sinking deeper into her arm. “She always smells so good after her baths.” The baby Kaiju’s warm and heavy grasp felt like a weighted blanket. It was a comfort that Ken would find nowhere else.

Professor Sato walked past them, chuckling into his coffee mug. “That, she does. You should have seen her earlier, you know. I’ve never seen her so invested in a game.”

Kenji hummed. “Is that right?” He rolled onto his stomach, facing Emi. “Hey. Baby.” He poked her cheek. “Is that true? Did you cheer for Daddy? I bet you did.” Giving into his cuteness aggression he rubbed at her cheeks. Emi expressed her annoyance through a small squeak. “God, that mean old Bullet had Daddy running laps, didn’t he? We hate him, don’t we?” Kenji pushed her cheeks up and down, leading her into a nod. “Yes we dooo.”

Professor Sato laughed. “Whatever happened to sportsmanship?”

“Whatever happened to loyalty?” He pouted. “My own father, rooting against me. I would never root against you, Emi.” Wanting to return to her blocks, Emi lifted Kenji up by his torso and placed him on her head. The batter laughed, laying on her with no protest.

“What!” The professor exclaimed. “I never said I was rooting against you. I was just— feeling enthusiastic, that’s all. For both teams.”

Mina entered the room, her mechanisms humming faintly. “Good evening, everyone.” The Sato’s greeted her accordingly. “I have a message for Ken.”

The mentioned Ken slumped into his daughter, rolling his eyes. “Here we go. I bet it’s the press.” He scoffed. “Let me guess, at least 30 emails asking for my statement. Or, better yet, it’s Shimura warning me not to miss the next game.” He raised his fist, mocking a reporter’s tone: “We’ve witnessed baseball history tonight, folks! Blah, blah, blah.”

“Actually, it’s an invitation for something else.” Mina hovered closer. “An event.”

This caught his attention. Kenji tilted his head. “For what?”

“A party, hosted by various sponsors.”

“Bit too early for an afterparty, don’t you think?” Ken sighed, resting his head on folded arms. “We’ve only won one game.”

“I suppose it’s to celebrate Mr. L/n as well.” Mina would shrug if she had the shoulders to do so. “His coming to Japan is quite a big deal.”

“Great.” Kenji was half-asleep by then, eyes already closed. “All the more reason for me not to go.” The professor had settled himself onto one of the desks, getting into some light reading. Emi had grown tired herself, and decided that she was not interested in the blocks anymore. Waddling to her spot, (with Kenji still on her head), she yawned, and opted for some much-needed sleep.

Mina’s light blinked. “I think you should go, Ken.”

The rightfielder cracked one eye open. “And why would I do that?”

“I think it would benefit you to interact with Mr. L/n more.”

“Mina, that’s literally the last thing I want.”

“Is it?”

Ken frowned. “What do you mean, ‘is it’? Of course it is.”

“Your vitals seemed to say otherwise earlier.”

Kenji scoffed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I was keeping careful watch of your vitals, as I always do. I have your daily status tracked and recorded.”

Kenji couldn't get rid of Mina’s voice in his head. Even amidst the warm crowd, with chatter swaying smoothly atop of light r&b music, he felt as if he could still hear her words ringing in the back of his mind. It remained vivid, though she had told it to him days ago. It was as clear as day. Like a broken record.

“Believe it or not, the heart beats differently for every emotion. There is a difference between fear, anxiety, excitement, and—”

Kenji stared at you from across the room, watching as you conversed with your team, nursing a glass of cold, hard whiskey. He watched as you bowed your head and smiled, listening for the faint, muffled sound of your laughter. He wondered what you were talking about; what joke might have made you grin that hard. He wondered why you seemed to illuminate a room, and why everyone seemed so drawn. His eyes were caught in the way the colorful lights sank into your hair.

“—Infatuation.”

You looked up, and your eyes met his. Kenji flinched. He felt his heart skip a beat. Shit, he thought. Mina was definitely going to catch that. She had probably already marked it down to tease him for it later. You held his gaze for longer than he could have standed and greeted him with that same annoying wink. The same one you gave him on the field. Confident, snarky, playful. You lifted your glass and took a sip, eyes still trained on his.

“What you may perceive as frustration for him might just be the opposite.”

Kenji's jaw clenched. Mina had no idea what she was talking about.

And he would prove her wrong tonight.

Like a soldier marching into battle, he waded through the party to make his way towards you. Was he intimidated? Yes. Unfortunately, he was. But he knew his way around a crowd, and his weapon-of-a-tongue knew all the right talk to make a conversation work. He was sociable like that. He was a poet, a wordsmith. If you weren't careful, one little exchange could have you wrapped around his finger. Some people called it his charisma, some blamed it on his irresistible good looks. Either way, Ken took it. He wasn't going to deny the fact that people loved talking to him — though he, admittedly, didn't really like talking to them in return. But he could do it. He could make it work.

Besides, how bad could you be?

With a newfound confidence, Ken dared to get closer. The distance between you and him lessened, and– oh, fuck, was that your cologne? He blinked. You smelled so good. Why did you smell so good? “Hey. Hi.” Shit. Abort mission. No, it's too late. Too awkward to back out. You were already looking at him. “L/n, yeah?” He spoke your name like he only just remembered you upon seeing you. When in truth, he hadn't stopped thinking about you since that damn first pitch. “Some game, huh?” Ken held his hand out for you to shake. ‘Fuck, I hope he doesn't notice how clammy it is.’

“Ken Sato.” It was the first time he heard your voice, as well as the first time he heard you say his name. He didn't like how his body reacted. There was a small shiver down his spine, a tingling flutter in his chest. You took his hand. Yours was cold. So cold. Kenji concluded that the icy glass of whiskey you had placed on the counter was to blame. He could feel your callouses against his. Your hands mirrored one another, marked with the battlescars of your sport. He was oddly sensitive to every detail. Touching you was.. a sensation.

You gave him a firm shake before promptly letting go.

“That's me,” he said, miraculously. Ken was oscillating between panic and confidence at a speed that likely wasn't normal. He was holding his own, though. Like the real champ he was. It was surreal to be standing in front of you without a ball to keep you apart. No bat, no competition. Just you, and a few shots of alcohol. “You adjusting into Japan alright?”

“As well as I can.” You shrugged. You had a tone to you; an elegant air of grace and self-assurance. You had no need to raise your voice because you knew he'd do his best to listen. It was pissing him off. “It's definitely different from the States.”

“I gotta say, I'm pretty surprised to see you here.” Ken usually knew what to say when it came to conversations. He never blanked out at interviews, nor left dead air hanging at conferences. But speaking with you made him feel like his vocabulary was on a limit. “After a game like that?” He whistled. “A lesser man would've taken a week off.”

“But we're not lesser men, are we, Ken?” A waitress passed by. Without the need to look, you had grabbed two shots of vodka from her tray. You handed the other one to him. “That's why you're here, too.”

He stared at you, brows furrowed slightly. “Exactly.” He took the shot from your hand and bumped the rim against yours. “Cheers.”

You grinned. “Cheers.”

Kenji tilted his head back, downing his drink, tasting the fire run down his throat. His face screwed up a little, but not enough for you to notice. You did the same, sighing the heat out of your nose. You allowed a small laugh to slip past your lips. “Japan’s liquor is surprisingly stronger.”

Kenji chuckled. “Yeah. If you know where to look.” The music felt like it was growing louder. He leaned in to speak to you better. “You know, I can't believe this is the first time we're meeting.”

You nodded. “Neither can I.”

“The Mets and Dodgers have always been at each other's throats, and yet—”

“Our schedules just never lined up.” You scoffed. “What are the odds of that, huh?”

It really was such a coincidence. If Ken had known that your interactions would've fired the press up as much as it did now, he would've fought to face you sooner. “When was it?” He snapped his fingers, trying to remember. “Playoffs. 2019, I think. The Mets were set to face the Dodgers.”

“2019,” you repeated, brows raised. “I was there.” Kenji took notice of the way your head slightly shifted to the side. Like you were trying to get a better look at him. He swallowed thickly. “I was there.” You shrugged. “You weren't.”

“I was overseas.” He was wanting another drink. But, speaking to you was surprisingly not horrible. “Didn't get back until 3 months in. And when I did—”

“I wasn't there,” you chuckled. “Alright. I remember. 2019, I was gone for half the season. Injury.”

“The world was in shambles.” Ken grinned at you. A second waiter passed by. He grabbed you another glass of whiskey. He took scotch for himself. “See what I mean? It's like– divine intervention.”

“Big word.” To say that fate had a hand to play in yours and his meeting was beyond your beliefs. You didn't place your trust in things like that. But to know that he had thought about it was charming.

“Hey.” Ken shrugged. “Ya’ never know.”

The music shifted, and so did the lights. There was a moment of quiet between the both of you, and in that time, you found a common interest in people-watching. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, nor the absence of something to talk about. The two of you merely agreed upon the minutes it took to watch the party unfold. A good number of the guests were already drunk. The dance floor was alight and occupied mostly by women. Ken rested his weight on one foot, sighing at his still-aching muscles. He wondered if you were any sore too.

“They love it, don't they?” You leaned your back against the counter, arms crossed over your chest. Ken took quick notice of the necklace worn loosely around your neck. A silver dogtag, similar to his. “The drama. The intensity. Even the things that go on beyond the field.”

Ken shrugged. “It's baseball. Who doesn't?”

“Exactly.” You smiled. “Which is why it's important to always let the home team win the first game.”

It took a moment for Kenji to process what you said. He was distracted by the colorful lights, his favorite song coming on, and a tray full of hors d'oeuvres. “Mhm.” He reached over to take one, before— “Wait.” His brows knitted together. “I'm sorry, what?”

“Hm?” You had your lips pressed together into a thin line. Your expression feigned innocence, a stark contrast to your bold statement. “I said it's important to let the home team win the first game.”

Kenji made a sound between a scoff and a laugh. He couldn't believe his ears. Had he been standing by the speakers for too long? “No, I heard what you said. What I'm asking is what you're saying.” It was a dare of a reply, with a tone that commanded: go on. Clarify.

Your smile refused to leave your face. Nearing the batter, ever so carefully, you whispered:

“I'm saying you won because I let you.”

Kenji blinked.

And there it was. He knew you were too good to be true. Goddammit, he knew it! Beneath your seemingly-perfect self was something cold and rotten and he called it. He fucking called it. How thrilled he was to be correct, and oh, how utterly terrified.

But this was good. This was absolutely good. He needed something to hold onto, something to keep himself afloat. The next time he found himself drowning in your eyes again, he'd only need to remember that you were a grade A asshole. That you had the audacity to claim that you were in full control of the game. Surely it would solve all his problems.

Kenji broke out into a laugh. It started out as a small cluster of sarcastic chuckles, but erupted into actual laughter. You were funny. So, so funny. Unbeknownst him, you were watching with amusement. “Because you let me!” Kenji repeated, smiling, but, exasperated. Two can play at that game. “Right. Of course. Totally not because you're an average pitcher and I can bat anything you throw.”

“If that helps you sleep at night.” You shrugged. Your attention wasn't on him anymore. You were watching the crowd, disinterested.

Kenji felt his eye twitch. “That's big talk coming from someone who got struck out by a rookie.” He was referring to the eighth inning, when Tateoka managed to bat your pitch into a homerun.

“That's right, Sato.” You laughed, low and sultry. “Batted by a rookie. How could I have struck you out at the last inning but be batted by a rookie?” You tilted your head at him, brows knitted together. You spoke in a sickeningly soft tone. Like you were helping a toddler understand something simple. “Doesn't seem to make a lot of sense, does it?”

Kenji was growing flustered. His face was warm and his fist was itching to meet your cheek. Nobody spoke to him this way. Sure guys had been mean to him before, but it was mostly because they were threatened by him. They'd tried to put him down and pick apart his flaws, but what you were doing was something different. You weren't claiming that he was weak, you were claiming that you were stronger. You didn't deny the amount of talent that Ken had in his body, but you were fully convinced that you had more. You were bigger, smarter, and better. And you had him under your control.

“Oh, c’mon. Seriously?” God, your voice. It infuriated him. It drove him insane. You leaned in, closer, whispering your words, as if hearing you through the party wasn't hard enough. He could smell the whiskey on your breath. It mingled with your cologne. It was intoxicating. “Are you blushing?”

He scoffed in disbelief. “No.” Except he totally was. He could feel the heat radiating off of his face. His breathing had gone shallow, his heartbeat rapid. “Why would I– Tch. You— You don't know what you're talking about.” Holy shit. He was a mess.

He wanted so desperately to blame it on the alcohol, but he knew damn well he wasn't drunk enough to be acting the way he was. He was stumbling over his words stone-cold sober.

You were smiling. He was dying, and you were smiling. “You amuse me, Sato.”

Ken took a cautious step back, knowing that being that close to you for too long was only going to make him worse. “Who the hell do you think you are, huh?” He had to retaliate somehow. Like a soldier fumbling for his sword, he had to get up and do something. “You don't think I don't know what this is? Where you're heading?”

You tilted your head. “Do enlighten me.”

He wrinkled his nose. “Sure. Celebrity-Athlete from America waltzes into Japan thinking he's the shit— that he can rule the world. He's a shiny new toy and everyone's just dying to catch a look. Nevermind that his old team traded him off, nevermind that he goes home to an empty penthouse. He's got the stats to prove his skills and he thinks he doesn't need anything else.” Ken dared to retake a step forward. He sort of regretted it when you didn't take a step back. “Well, guess what,” he continued. “I've been where you are. I know how you feel, what you're thinking.

Everything you're trying to be is a shadow of what I already was.”

There was a beat of silence. You weren't smiling anymore. You were staring at him, stone-faced, seemingly indifferent.

Kenji narrowed his eyes. “So don't go talking to me like you're any better.”

He didn't know what to expect. You were quiet for such a long time that he thought you were going to snap. He partially expected a punch to the chin. But you were calm. There wasn't a trace of irritation on your face. Instead, you set your glass of whiskey — now empty — on the counter behind you. With a sigh, you shoved a hand in your pocket. “Are you done?”

Kenji blinked.

“Let me tell you something, Sato.” You raised a brow at him. Ken felt his heartbeat pick up again. Your once-approachable gaze shifted into something cold and commanding. He swallowed thickly. “There is a difference between you and me. And that difference is the fact that I don't settle.”

Kenji was glaring at you, brows fixed together.

A teammate called you from the other side of the room. You nodded at him, once, then returned your focus to the Yomiuri Prince. You placed a hand on his shoulder, tauntingly, smiling at him as if you'd known him your whole life. “I hope last season’s slump accustomed you to the feeling of losing those points.”

Kenji wanted to say something, but his lips refused to move. Somehow, the blaring music in the background had faded into a muffled blur. All he could hear was your voice. Like a moth to a flame.

You winked at him. Again. And like before, his body reacted in ways he didn't like. You squeezed his shoulder once, before leaving to go to your friend. With your back turned against him, Kenji released the breath he didn't realize he was holding. He clutched his chest, watching wide-eyed as you moved through the crowd. He could still smell your cologne. The last thing he heard from you was,

“I'll see you on the field.”

taglist: @fairy-lenaa @moonjellyfishie @witchygod — Thank you for your patience!

[manmuncher777]

One more | Simon ghost Riley smut blurb

A/n: just want to say a huge thank you to the love on my last posts. 400 notes on my first smut? That’s amazing. The love from cod men lovers is amazing. ❤️❤️

warnings - overstim. Smut. P in V

“C'mon baby, one more." The hand wrapped around your throat tightens

"I can't" you squeal, trying your hardest to run away from him, trying to get away from his merciless thrusts, but his grip is too tight. The hand on your hip was gripping you so tight you were sure there was going to be big finger shaped bruises, but that wasn't a bad things. A sign of ownership which you would wear with pride.

And his grip on your throat, well that was intoxicating, you wanted Simon Riley as your personal necklace at all times, there was something almost comforting in the dominant position.

"Don't try and run away now sweetheart, where was that big girl attitude from earlier. not so bratty now are you?" He asked you, pulling you up but your neck so your back was arching against his heaving chest. He knew you were too far gone to speak but it was always fun to tease you.

In that moment you were fully absorbed by Simon. He was hitting so deep inside you that you were certain you would be able to feel him for days on end. His brutal pace left you shaking, his hips snapping into yours as he put his whole weight behind his thrusts. You were a mess, drool was spilling slightly from your lips as you mumbled incoherant words of pleasure, your oh so beautiful eyeliner was now smeared all across your face, your eyes rolled back and your toes curled.

Simon had never seen you look so hopeless yet beautiful, all you could do was try and meet his rough thrusts. You don't know how many times you had cum, you had lost count. Too many was for sure as your body screamed for a break, but you mind also craved that bittersweet release as your abused cunt takes all that it is given.

"C'mon now sweetheart, be a good girl and give it to me. Please, need to see you cum one more time, need to remind you who you belong to." he mumbles in your ear, his speech slurred and rushed with pleasure as his warm lips graze over your neck. All you can do is let out a pathetic whimper in response, which didn't go unnoticed by Simon as a smirk graced his features

You felt white hot, like you were on fire. But your body couldn't help but obey Simon, like it was your true nature.

The hand on your hip now travelled round and down to the wet mess in between your thighs to rub at your puffy clit. The sensation making your hips jerk and you cry out.

"atta girl, almost there." he encourages you as he can feel you tightening around you as the edge nears. You writhe in his grip but still, the hand around your throat never falters, squeezing you just right that you feel like you are floating. Just enough to enhance every feeling that passes through your body. That knot building in your stomach once more, you can do nothing but take what Simon gives you, the kisses on the neck, the fast rubs of his fingers, the whispers of filth in your ear, it all tips you over the edge. The knot finally snaps and you cum, hard. All you can feel is Simon, all you can moan is his name as his hips finally rut into yours, as he finishes inside you. Slowly bringing you down for each of your highs, his hand finally releases your throat as you both lay there. Basking in each other's presence.

"well done sweetheart”

[moodymisty]

Author’s note: This entire idea belongs to @bispecsual , who snapped my ass like Thanos with it at 3am. My eyes might’ve been burning, but I saw the light with this message.

Relationships: unnamed Lamenter/Gn!Reader

Warnings: You could say it’s a lilllll lewd, Blood/vampire kink stuff, Bruising

He looks so large even without his armor. He’s managed to find a moment of time to spend with you now that his round of duty is over, though he had to wake you up to do it. You don’t mind, but you can tell in his face that there’s something gnawing at him.

“You’re hungry,” You suddenly blurt out, looking up at him. He looks at you and his eyebrows raise with surprise, but he doesn’t deny it. He looks away briefly when you offer yourself once again.

“I’ve waited longer, I won’t so soon after the last time.”

You shift under the blankets to look more towards him.

“You don’t have to wait, it’s fine.”

He’s beating himself up in his head, you can tell. Berating his lack of restraint. You know from experience he fights it until he’s right at the edge of the cliff, and only then does he dare to ask. But you feel fine, and helping him is the least you can do. The Lamenters have done so much for you; He’s done so much for you.

“I’m fine. If you need it, take it.”

It seems the battle in his mind only concludes with your gentle insistence, and he moves closer to you. You watch as he slowly crawls onto the bed and his hand presses down by your shoulder. His gaze is intense and you can’t help but look away, exposing your neck at the same time.

He can see the little marks where he bit the last time, on their last few days of healing. As he leans in his hot breath brushes over them, as does his lips. He hesitates for a moment, and you think he might pull away, before he finally sinks his teeth in right below your ear.

The blanket shifts up your bare legs to your hips as your legs kick, landing just below your underwear. His knee presses down between your thighs precariously close to their apex.

His teeth shift in your neck and your fingers tighten on his shoulder from the twinge of pain, but his weight holds your upper body completely still. He doesn’t want you to move even an inch and risk hurting you.

You swear you can hear his hearts, his tongue lapping against your neck and wiping away the tiny beads of blood before he moves to bite again at your collarbone.

It tastes incredible. He’s been starving, his last mission ran him ragged, in his armor for 2 weeks with barely any rest, and your blood is like the finest wine. He’s never tasted wine, but he supposes must taste incredible, as your tone of voice had implied.

His eyes want to close, he wants to get lost in its but he knows he has to stop. It’s still so soon after the last time he bit you, he know he can only take enough to satisfy him for now. So that gnawing can finally get shoved to the back of his mind just for a little while.

You’ve already been so generous, he doesn’t want to wear it out. To take advantage of your rare kindness. He pulls away sees the bruising wounds of your neck, as he glances down at your inner thigh. He sees the fading marks of bites there, where he thought they’d cause you less pain. It caused something else however, and he vows not to do so again unless he can fulfill you afterwards.

He slowly lowers again until his head lays against your chest. Your fingers wrap in the short, messy chop of his hair. Your eyes are closed, but you still talk to him.

“I’m fine,” You whisper, knowing why he’s doing this. The assurance that you’re still alive and well. That he didn’t go too far this time. But sometimes you wonder if he’s becoming unhealthily attached to you. He depends on you in a way oddly enough; With his curse gnawing at him like a never-ending sickness. He’s implied before that his superiors might do something about it if he can’t keep it under control. If this saves him, then you’ll do whatever you can to protect him mentally while he physically protects you.

Because you’re the only thing that cures him; Your blood satiates the hunger and your presence makes him feel alive. The warmth of your skin against his own. The sound of your heartbeat fills him with relief that you’re fine, he didn’t lose himself for a moment.

“How can I repay you for your kindness?” He speaks quietly. You laugh.

“You don’t have to do anything.” He leans close to you and you can feel his nose barely brush against your own.

“I should. There are not many who would willingly give their blood to feed the Red Thirst.” You smile and your hand lands on the scarred skin of his arm.

“I don’t mind, as long as it’s you.”

A brief moment crosses his mind at the idea of another Lamenter biting your neck- of being this close to you. His hand clenches just a bit before he swallows that feeling of rage and leans just that little bit closer to you, pressing his lips to yours.

You lean into him, ignoring the ache in your neck and tasting iron on his lips.

[angstywaifu]

The Lost Sister - Part 6

Synopsis: Xaden is known as an only child due to his sister who 'died' during the Rebellion. Little do they know she didn't die and has been so close this entire time.

Garrick Tavis x OC A/N: I couldn't resist posting this so close to the other part. I'd say I'm sorry for the slight cliff hanger.... But I'm not. Also I've started writing some of the stuff around threshing, what do you guys think Ophelia's signet should be? What dragon will she have? Also what should we make Garrick's signet? I've seen a few theories on his being pain due to his dragons name, and honestly kinda leaning towards it. As per usual if you want to be on the tag list let me know! And if you guys have any prompts or ideas for small little one off stories/one shots, please pop them in my asks! Would love to give some other ideas a go. Probably leaning more towards our rebellion boys (Xaden, Garrick, Bodhi and Liam), but happy to give some others a go.

The Lost Sister Masterlist | Masterlist

Garrick leans against the wall at the end of the bed, his hazel eyes watching me like a hawk. He hadn’t take his eyes off me since scooping me off the floor. I’m a little disappointed he managed to put a shirt on before bringing me here. I could have used the view while the healer works at cleaning the blood off my face and mending my nose. Every time I flinch or wince as the healer works, I swear I see Garrick’s hand twitch as if wanting to reach out and stop her. The healer walks away to get me some healing balm to take with me to help the last of my nose heal and to help with any bruising that may decide to show up. As she rounds the corner, Garrick pushes off the wall and pulls up a chair next to my bed. He reaches up and tilts my head towards him with his right hand. His eyes assessing my face and the work the healer has done. When he’s satisfied I’ve been healed adequately his eyes meet mine. His hand still lingering on my face.

”You two really did a number on each other.” He says with a chuckle.

”You finally going to tell me what the hell is up with you and Imogen.” I say more aggressively that I intend.

Garrick flinches at my words and his moves his hand from my cheek to his lap as he looks down and starts to fidget with this hands. Some of his dark curls falling in front of his eyes. Definitely not the response he was expecting from me.

“I promise you there is nothing going on-”

”Bullshit.” I spit out cutting him off mid sentence.

He looks up at me shocked and almost scared. Something I can safely say I’ve never seen from Garrick towards me. Granted I don’t think I’ve used that kind of tone towards him before in the entire time I’ve known Garrick, which is pretty much my entire life. He hangs his head and goes back to fidgeting with his hands, the chair creaking under his weight as he moves around. Clearly uncomfortable with the situation.

“For me there’s nothing going on with her. We hooked up a few times, but that was it.” He admits, his shoulders sagging with the confession before looking back up at me with sad eyes that almost plead forgiveness from me. “But I made it clear I wanted nothing serious. But it is becoming clear those hook ups meant more to her than just something casual.”

”You never struck me as the casual hook up type.” I admit to him.

He slowly nods in agreement before looking away again, intently focused on his hands again. “Honestly I’m not. But there are times while you are here where you just need someone. And the person I needed. The person I wanted more than just a casual hook up with.” His eyes flick up to mine, and I swear my heart stops as if I know what’s coming. “Well I kind of thought they were dead till recently.”

His words come out so quietly I barely hear them. But I do. My heart rate starts to pick up as his words sink in and silence falls around us as we just stare into each others eyes. There is no doubt that Garrick meant me. It’s not like anyone else has come back from the dead recently. Garrick who I spent most of my child hood and teenage years crushing over, has just confessed they feel the same way and all I can do is sit here and stare at him like a deer about to get torched by a dragon. And I’m sure my face probably looks similar to that deer right now. His words start to sink in as he stares at me hopefully. His eyes pleading at me to say something. Say anything back to him. But I can’t. All I can do is stare at him in shock, despite wanting to hear this exact confession from him for years.

At that moment the healer comes back with the healing balm, completely oblivious to the tension in the small closed off area. “Here you go lovely, just apply it to any bruising as it appears.” She says sweetly as she hands it to me.

I tear my gaze from Garrick as I stand and take the healing balm from her, before quickly walking out of the room. I hear the chair Garrick was sitting on scrape against the floor. As soon as I’m out the door I take off. I vaguely hear Garrick call my name as I run back to the riders quadrant.

Part 7

Tag List: @riorgail @going-through-shit @fw-gt @bbkissme99

[souglias]

Remember To Throw Your Expired Milk [GINTOKI]

Just because an era has passed, doesn't mean everything from then is lost.

c/w: self-indulgent, may have some timeline inaccuracies, mentions of the Joui War, mentions of injuries and scars

Gintoki x gn!reader (reader is implied to be smaller than him for a small part)

word count: 4.7k words (I'm sorry guys)

note: This fic serves an outlet for me, so when I mean self-indulgent, I really mean it!! Please let me know if you think I missed any content warnings. Border is a cropped frame from the Gintama The Final movie :)

cross-posted on AO3 (accessible from my profile)!

All likes and reblogs are appreciated!

The morning before you leave for the Joui war is a chilly autumn, with the last leaves barely hanging onto their branches. The four of you were to leave together: You, Gintoki, Takasugi and Katsura.

This particular morning, it is just you and Gintoki in the abandoned house that Takasugi and Katsura also lived in. Both of them have gone out for a bit. You didn’t know for what, but the house feels a little empty without the two.

Gintoki is keenly aware of you standing behind him, your eyes burning holes into his hands that are tightening his headband. He is about to attach his sword but decides to drop his hands to his sides instead, shaking them.

With his back still facing you, he spits, "Go back to Edo tonight. You have no use on the battlefield."

The monotonous banter, usually akin to a relentless fly, stings this time. It takes only a moment for him to realise the possible weight of his words. Tentatively, he looks over his shoulder at you. 

Gintoki doesn't know if he is more than a friend to you, but he would carry all your burdens and sorrow if it meant you wouldn’t enter the battlefield with them. If he has to choose his life or yours, he will choose yours. He would do anything if it meant that you would tease him about his natural perm or jab him playfully at his sides again. 

So, when he meets your unwavering yet melancholic gaze, he breaks the eye contact that barely lasts. His feet become a little heavier each time he sees you with that face. The more he trudges forward, the more he has to lose.

"I'm not useless. You know I can fight. Didn’t know you had such a shit impression of me."

You can, and you fight well. 

“But you don’t need to fight. You should protect your ass when you can and live. You’ve always been a scared kid anyway. Oh, who was the one who used to be intimidated by me?”

You retort back, but there’s no bite in it. “Shut your ass trap. I’m not chickening out now. You sound like the one who’s scared now.”

Gintoki’s heart is trembling. He sees the grim reaper preparing for its shift to make rounds and he does not want to see you among a pile of corpses. 

He flicks your forehead, takes your headband anyway and wraps it around your head. You too, carry the same pent-up fury from the Kansei Purge as everyone else. You have your grievances to air in your way too. Hell, if you asked him not to fight, he would have called you an idiot and ignored you.

His arms hover around your head as he ties a knot securely at the back of your head. Your head is almost on his chest, and his mind wanders to how close you are to him. 

“It hurts.”

“Ah, sorry.” 

His hands move to loosen your headband, but you rest one hand on his forearm to stop him. You stare straight into his chest and your free hand fidgets with the side of your pant leg. Gintoki realises that you are thinking about so much more than the headband. 

If he could even be audacious, he thinks he knows what you are thinking of. 

He tries to think of something to say. For a split moment, he even considers a hug. Even though it’s not something he has ever been good with. But before he gets to do anything at all, Takasugi creeps up from behind him.

“I can’t believe you guys. Getting all touchy-feely before the fight?” 

Gintoki immediately steps back, creating some distance between the two of you. He hurls some insults at Takasugi and the two of them bicker. When Katsura returns, instead of breaking up the fight, he joins in their nonsensical argument that is not even about the two of you anymore.

You take in this scene and etch it in your mind. This is the perfect time to have time halt if it is ever possible.

The four of you set out when it was time. As you attach your sword to your side, Gintoki comes up to you with his faux nonchalance. His eyes wander everywhere for a bit, one of his hands rubs the back of his head and the other seems to be lost on what to do. "You already know this, but do me a favour and buy me some strawberry milk on your next trip to the convenience store again. Keep them in the fridge.” 

He pauses as he watches your face shift from confusion to understanding.

“It has to be the Azuri brand one! Don't you dare drink it."

Your hand resting on the handle of your sheathed sword tightens.

“Okay, you better fucking come for it.”

Gintoki catches you with that melancholic smile again. He bumps your arm gently with his fist. Noticing you walk with less of a drag in your feet, he assumes it is good enough.

(You are always so difficult for him.)

Sometime towards the end of the Joui war, when the bodies all start to pile up and the soldiers are all weary, he loses sight of you. His eyes can no longer find the silhouette he has become so familiar with and his ears cannot find the rhythm of your steps that he has memorised by heart. You do not return to base when night falls. 

The voices all say you’re dead and gone, but Gintoki tries to protect the flickering flame of hope in his heart as he continues to fight. You promised him a carton- no, cartons of strawberry milk. You are far from stupid to take a promise to the afterlife with you. 

But when the Joui war ends, he disappears, just like everyone else. Along with the dying fire in his heart that he wilfully thought he could protect. Hope is a heavy thing to carry after all that has happened. 

The Amanto, who had kept you in a dark room for what felt like weeks, releases you into a world you are no longer familiar with. You find out that it’s only been days and that you were originally to be executed the next day. 

The sky is cluttered with more spaceships and the sun feels a little more cruel than you knew it to be. You walk with no aim, looking back now and then, thinking that you hear familiar voices. It goes on till the sight of the convenience store you frequented with your friends slowly pulls you back to reality. The weight of your emotions kicks in when you hear the welcome chime of the store. Your wounds start to weep and your muscles burn as you limp towards the refrigerator of cooled drinks. 

With a throat full of screams you bite back, you place a few cartons of strawberry milk from the barren refrigerator of the convenience store into your arms. Large ones to keep in the fridge, small ones in the event he wants to bring it out. The counter staff asks you if you are okay while he packs your purchases, but you simply brush him off.

As you drag your unwilling feet into the town that spells a lonely journey into the future, the carton of strawberry milk treads too to its expiration date. 

(How naive of you, to think Edo would be the town you could call home with everyone you cared about and the one man you loved.)

-

You wander within the city after you receive treatment, searching for a sign of anyone you know. Eventually, you traverse out of Edo. 

Whenever someone mentions the Four Heavenly Kings, you find your spirit to be lifted, only to be let down without fail. It is a name that strangers use so freely and carelessly. The four you know are now only legends, reduced to mere tales. They are unreachable, even as someone who has grown with them. You start to think maybe they are dead. Maybe you have just been searching for a time that has ceased to exist.

(Besides, you may have escaped death when you were released, but you think a part of you died that day too.)

It’s a long time before you force yourself to get your shit together. When you return to Edo, you see wanted posters of Katsura everywhere, the corners already peeling. One, hangs on by a small strip of tape, at a lamp post outside a humble ramen shop on the outskirts. You get a job at this ramen shop, and you stare at Katsura’s mugshot as you work until the poster gets blown away one day. With your pay, you get by and live in a simple rented apartment nearby.

When you finally bump into Katsura himself, you think you’re seeing the distant light at the end of the winding tunnel. He manages to fill you in on a bit, but takes off soon due to his predicament. The bare, discreet conversation you have with him ends up doing the opposite of what you hoped, whiffing out the little hope you carried instead. Sakamoto is assumed to be in space, which makes you a little relieved knowing he’s living his dream. But, the fact that the whereabouts of Gintoki and Takasugi are still uncertain makes you feel you’re still at square one. 

Despite the time that has passed, you still see Gintoki in many things. The Shounen Jump on the shelves. Anyone with their permed hair, even if it’s clearly artificial. And especially those fucking cartons of strawberry milk you keep. They are an anchor to your past and their tarnished, rusted edges dig into your skin. You want to throw them out so bad, but you can never bring yourself to. You stay at square one with these rotting cartons for the passing seasons.

On a chilly winter afternoon with snow that’s taking its time to fall, you find Gintoki when you pass through Kabukicho. Walking past Snack Otose, you catch a glimpse of a head of silver in your peripheral vision. 

You don’t recall when this… Yorozuya Gin-Chan came to be above Snack Otose. But you always pass Kabukicho in a hurry. Maybe it has always been there.

An old lady talks to him at his door, blocking him from your view on the ground floor. But you wouldn’t mistake that natural wavy perm of silver, even though all you see are strands peeking out from the sides of the old lady.

When she walks off with a face of frustration, you withdraw into a nearby alley in a flurry. You take in the scene of Gintoki with his exasperated look. He scratches his head a little and sighs, before he goes back inside. You take it as your sign to leave.

(Gintoki sees you. And he isn’t ready to talk to you either. Not with the way your fists clench. He immediately guesses what you’re feeling, if you have not changed immensely into someone different. He shakes away the urge to approach you and convinces himself again that just knowing that you are alive and warm is enough. He is content.)

The snow does not stop even when night falls. When Gintoki returns home, he turns the television on and stretches out with his feet propped up on his work desk. The doorbell rings and he sits up. His heart throbs, in anticipation for a certain someone. He tames it. Expectation is a potential recipe for disappointment.

When he opens the door, he finds you carrying two plastic bags. Your hands are very tightly wrapped around the handles. You refuse to look up at him.

“What? Asshole crawled back up from their grave? Not happy with what you got?”

You enter the house wordlessly and he shuffles out of your path. You drop the bags on the coffee table, causing a loud thud to resound in the room.

“Hey hey, the landlady downstairs is going to complain. She already came up bitching about the rent earlier this afternoon-”

“I owe you something. Did you forget?”

You pull a small carton of strawberry milk out of the bag and set it on the table. It is worn from weather and time. You rip open the top of the carton and the straw gets yanked out of the plastic, soon finding itself in the opening. 

Shoving the carton into his chest, you gather the courage to look him in the eye. The carton starts to wrinkle even more from your tightening grip. You hold it tighter, as if it would stop your tears from welling.

He notices the expiry date printed on the carton, which was more than one and a half years ago. His hand wraps around yours and he doesn’t let you slip them out.

“I don’t forget what people owe me that easily. Even if I died, I would demand for the guardians of hell to arrange a delivery to get them from you.”

Your grip loosens a little when you notice the soft, subtle smile on his face. There’s a lump in your throat again and you take a few deep breaths to stop it. The sound of the television fills the silence between the two of you for a bit.

“A little less than a year ago, I crossed paths with Zura. He told me both of you disappeared and didn’t know where you were.”

The next few words almost escape him. It makes you feel small and helpless to say it, even though he was right in front of you. “I thought maybe you died.”

A stray tear streaks down your cheek. He gently pries the milk from your hands and sets it down on the table.

(He thought you died too. Sure, without realising it, he started to carry hope in his heart again. But it felt like the weight of the world sometimes, and he had to carry it by dragging it across the ground. The possibility of you being six feet under rang so loud in his mind.

It only became lighter when he bumped into Katsura for the first time a few days ago. It was when he heard about you from Katsura. Gintoki headed down and watched you work in the ramen shop from the other side of the road. He left without approaching you. He didn’t know what he was going to say to you. Besides, seeing him could reopen old wounds and he didn’t want to do that to you. And just maybe, he was a little bit of a coward when it comes to you.

But he guesses it is all futile. You found him after all.)

With his thumb, he brushes your cheek. You notice scars on his arm that you don’t ever recall him having.

“You worry too much. It takes a lot to kill me.”

“But it hurt, didn’t it?”

It did. Even now, the wounds on his soul throb a little. He thinks he’s underestimated how much he missed you. “They’re just scratches.”

You inch towards him and put your arms around him for a hug. He tenses up at your touch, but he manages to loosen up and pats your back gently until you stop crying.

“Did you cry like that when you found Zura?”

“No.”

A stray smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “Don’t waste your tears on Zura.”

“So you’re saying it’s worth it to cry for you?”

Gintoki’s eyes dart off in another direction. “No. Don't cry for me again.”

The way his sentence seemingly hangs thickens the air between the two of you. He scoffs and sits down on the sofa. Refusing to make eye contact with you, he rubs the back of his head and frowns.

He is still the Gintoki you committed to your memory and love. Even as time passes, he still has the same habits. Even though his fashion sense has changed, you still see him adorn the same shades. You can still see the pureness of his soul even with the haze of time. Despite the tears, you find a hearty laugh rising up your throat. So you let it out. 

He freezes upon hearing your laugh and realises that he has not heard something so genuine from you for so long, even from before the two of you parted.

As he runs his fingers through his natural perm for the last time and stands up, he suggests, “Let’s go to the supermarket. We should get new cartons.”

You glance at the clock. “Sorry, maybe not today. It takes a while to get to the supermarket and I need to get back to my apartment too. I live on the outskirts.”

“I’ll send you back. I have a scooter now.”

“Wow, I assumed you couldn’t pay rent. Where did you get the money for that? Did you rob a bank? It’s well within the capabilities of the White Yaksha.”

His eyebrow twitches. “Quit yapping and move along. I bargained hard and relentlessly for a lower price.”

As both of you make your way to the scooter, you continue to make more snarky comments about how he got the scooter. When you see the scooter, you decide to make some more comments about the scooter, though you actually think it is a fine thing. He smacks you on the head, eliciting a giggle from you instead of what he thought would be a retort.

“Your home is so damned far away, you know,” Gintoki complains as he turns on the engine.

“You were the one who offered.”

Without much thought, you tease him as you sit behind him, “Then, where should I stay? With you?” 

You realise what you’ve asked and you’re about to make a comment to brush it off. But Gintoki plops a helmet on your head before you can do so, and starts the scooter. As he begins to drive off, you place your hands tentatively on his waist. He throws a glance over his shoulder at you. “Hold on tight and don’t let go.”

It doesn’t take long for you to get used to your hand on him and he can feel your tense hands slowly relax. With his eyes on the road in front of him, he’s not 100% sure, but he thinks you’re leaning in a little.

(The scooter doesn’t go as fast as those flashy sports cars the rich use to zoom around town. But you still get to the convenience store a lot quicker than you expected. It’s too fast, you feel like you will never have enough time with him. 

Even though he is right in front of you, the lost time makes the vast distance between the two of you so clear. It is one that you cannot cross now with your arms, even if you gathered the courage to wrap them wholly and tightly around him. The thought that he might disappear again will gnaw at you for a while.

That night, he pays for the strawberry milk. The two of you take the last two cartons of the Azuri brand he very much prefers. You take your time to sip on it during the ride, watching his wavy hair let loose in the wind and catch the lights of the slowly dwindling traffic around you.)

-

Gintoki gives you a face when he looks up from the grocery bag on the coffee table. His eyes fill with incredulity and his lips downturn dramatically. "What is this?"

You put up an air of innocence, teasing in a sing-song voice, "What's what?"

"THIS!"

He pulls out a carton of milk from the grocery bag with two fingers gripping it and waves it around hysterically.

"This is plain milk!"

"You're stating the obvious."

He drops the carton back into the grocery bag and yells out in exasperation, hands grasping at nothing in the air. You stifle a laugh.

"Still gives you the protein that you so absolutely love in your strawberry milk, doesn't it?"

He plops down on the sofa and crosses his arms. Eyebrow twitching, he begins a lecture.

"Listen [name]. Plain milk is not the same as strawberry milk. Strawberry milk is NOT just syrup or sugar getting added into milk."

You nod, pursing your lips so as not to let out a laugh at the bewildering he says and the ones he might say. 

His doctor highly recommended that he cut down on sugar. Based on your internet searches, strawberry-flavoured milk has more sugar than plain ones. And because you love your boyfriend so much, you decide to take it into your own hands to buy plain milk which would be much better for his health. Watching him become exasperated over it is just a huge cherry on top.

Sensing that you found his reasoning ridiculous, he whines and throws himself face down onto his sofa. You don’t bother to suppress your laughter when he starts kicking his feet. 

Out of nowhere, he jumps off the sofa and slides his wooden sword into his belt. “You did this on purpose, didn’t you? You offered to buy it because you planned this, right? Because the doctor said I had to reduce my sugar intake.”

How dare you, his beloved, commit such an act of betrayal to him! He adds a little shout in between his rambling. Then, adds, “Sugar is life, [name]! We have to go buy them now!”

He tugs at your arm and you refuse to budge. Initially, you reason that he can’t leave the house because Yorozuya’s opening hours aren’t over yet. As he tugs harder, you start to mock him for having such a sweet tooth, how he’s weak for being unable to go by without strawberry milk and how ungrateful he is for you. He retorts back saying you shouldn’t have backstabbed your boyfriend like that, and there’s nothing sinful with having a sweet tooth. In the end, he lifts you by your waist with his arm and out of the house into the spring evening. Conscious of the looks of onlookers, you smack him on his back harder and harder till he complains about how it hurts and puts you down.

Gintoki continues to lecture you about the strawberry milk as the two of you walk to the convenience store that opened months ago. In the five-minute walk, you let him go on about the difference and hum now and then as an indication that you are listening. At the same time, you imagine the pink cherry blossom buds overhead. You imagine the falling sakura blooms around him. A mental image of the blossoms in his silver hair surfaces.

When he finishes his sentence, you comment, “I think you could be a strawberry parfait too.”

“Huh?”

It’s now your turn to talk in this walk and Gintoki sees the vision you’re having. He’s about to make a dirty joke, but you jab him at his side before he can say it.

When the two of you enter the store, he runs straight to the refrigerator. You trail behind him, already finding his arms full of large and small Maiji milk cartons although it has only been one minute. 

It has become normal for Gintoki to take the Maiji brand carton without a second thought. You can no longer find the Azuri brand milk in Edo anymore, and possibly the whole of Japan. It took him a little getting used to and some whining to you, but he has come to enjoy it. 

When you watch him try to arrange and squeeze everything into the basket, you think maybe your plan to help him cut down on sugar has backfired. Mans simply trying to stock up at this point. You end up having to do some convincing in that narrow aisle, with some other shoppers, for this manchild to put a few back.

From the refrigerator to the cashier and back to Yorozuya, Gintoki keeps pouting. You poke his cheek with his free hand, but all you get is a “hmph”. He’s not going to give in so easily! It takes so much more than paying for his sweets and saying he looks like a strawberry parfait!!

You think about offering to pay for his parfait, but you tell yourself not to give in to him. You want him to live a long life and die of old age, not go out way before his time in agony because of sugar.

Gintoki plops down at the corner of the sofa when the two of you return to Yorozuya. He starts reading the latest copy of Shounen Jump with one leg crossed on the sofa, sipping loudly on his milk in an attempt to irritate you. You sit on the other corner with your drink and magazine you bought yourself earlier, and you prop your feet on top of his lap. He smacks your feet once, but he lets you be as he always does. On other days, he enjoys doing it to you too. 

Every now and then, you look up to see him engrossed in his manga. Sometimes when you blink, you still see images of the past versions of him with Katsura and Takasugi at his side.

You get up and give him a kiss on the cheek, before heading to the stairs outside. He’s a bit caught off guard, but you leave him to process it.

On the street downstairs, a few kids scramble around, presumably to head home. Your mind wanders to the three boys you grew up with. There are still days you think you wake from your nap in the classroom to the three boys duking it out in the dojo. But when your bleary vision in the morning clears and you notice that the ceiling above is different from the one at Shoka Sonjuku, reality settles. It’s just a ruckus made by some kids outside. You stare at the ceiling, remembering that Takasugi is at large with his new comrades. You remember that Zura now has his own faction, which both you and Gintoki reject his relentless invitations to. You remember that Shoyo-sensei is gone. 

You hear the sliding door open behind you and Gintoki leans on the part of the ledge beside you. 

“What’s up?”

“Nothing.”

Gintoki notices you running your finger back and forth on the grooved surface of the ledge. He places a kiss on your temple. A little hesitant at first, but he goes for it. He then shifts behind you slightly, resting his hand on top of yours. With his steady frame behind you, you lean back a little on him. 

(Gintoki wonders what Shoyo-sensei would think about the two of you. Hopefully, he approves, even though Shoyo had witnessed him disturbing you in class and outside of it. Hell, Shoyo even thought Gintoki was bullying you at one point and Gintoki had gone to lengths to prove otherwise. He would also argue that he was teasing you to get you to break out of your shell. Though in hindsight, maybe he had been a little mean about a few things.)

The wish to return to the bygone days still squeezes your heart with its agony. The days that Shoka Sonjuku was your home. Its invisible hands still try to grasp at the memories that are becoming ever-distant and drifting away in the stream of time. It is always the worst when you find resemblances that you find hard to ignore.

But everyone has found their place in this new era, including you. The night he dropped you off after reuniting, he asked you’ll come to Yorozuya again. You said you’d try, but no promises because it was far. Though, as you watched his receding figure ride back into the brightly lit town you once detested, you knew you would. 

You're glad you did. After all, you found a place with Gintoki. A place, in this still unfamiliar city, that you can finally bring yourself to call home again. 

If you've come this far, thank you so much for reading this self-indulgent, monster of a fic <3

[milesluna]

My Favorite Games of 2023.

Hi. Hello. Thanks ever so much for clicking on this page. Happy to have you.

First thing's first: I'm a little freak when it comes to video games. I don't feel the need to beat most games I play. From Software is one of my favorite studios in the industry and I've never finished a single one of their games. This means, fortunately, that I get to play a LOT more games than the average bear.

I've written up some blurbs about my top ten favorite games from 2023, but before that here's the list of every game I remember playing this year that left any sort of lasting impact on me (in no particular order):

Dead Space Remake Resident Evil 4 Remake F-Zero 99 Humanity Dredge Metroid Prime Remastered Anemoiaplois Alan Wake 2 Baldur’s Gate 3 LoZ Tears of the Kingdom Counter Strike 2 Hunt Showdown El Paso Elsewhere Jusant Slay the Princess| Remnant II The Finals Street FIghter 6 Lethal Company BattleBit Remastered Don’t Scream Homebody The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog Pizza Tower World of Horror Super Mario Wonder Mr. Sun’s Hatbox Fifa 23 Sea of Stars (Demo) Half-Life (25th Anniversary Update)

And the games I played that were NOT released in 2023:

Unpacking Persona 4 Golden Picross 7 The Order 1886 Shovel Knight Dig Lost Planet: Extreme Condition Spider-Man: Miles Morales Pac-Man Championship Edition DX Project Zomboid Quake LoZ The Minish Cap Drill Dozer Wario Land 4 Pokemon Pinball Resident Evil Revelations Summer of ‘58 Trackmania TwinCop We Were Here Visage Cursed Halo CE Half-Life 2 (I probably play this once per year) Witch Hunt Red Dead Redemption 2 Cyberpunk 2077 Borderlands 3 Brutal Legend Cultic Slay the Spire PUBG Rez Infinite Batman Arkham City Alan Wake Alan Wake: American Nightmare Max Payne LoZ: Majora’s Mask 3DS Metroid Prime Metroid Prime 2 Tunic Everhood Final Fantasy VII Final Fantasy VII Remake GOODBYE WORLD Yakuza: Like a Dragon Critters for Sale Dome Keeper Phasmophobia Hades Nintendo Switch Sports

Now that you understand the kind of freak you're dealing with…

Let's dive into my top ten favorite games from this objectively fucked up year.

10. El Paso Elsewhere Developed by Texas indie studio Strange Scaffold, El Paso Elsewhere is a Max Payne-clone with vampires, an opinionated narrator, and lots and lots of bullet time. As a small studio punching well above their weight class, Strange Scaffold leans into abstract, PlayStation 1 minimalism when it comes to visuals and pairs them with a soundtrack that will make your hands sweat. The vibes are here and they're ready for the end of the world. I'm personally also a big fan of everything this studio stands for.

9. Mr. Sun's Hatbox I want you to imagine Metal Gear Solid V. Now I want you to imagine that game as a 2D, level-based, slapstick platformer you can play with up to three friends. If you think that sounds stupid, you'd be right. And it's beautiful. As you build up a secret army of soldiers with various skills (and disorders), you'll start to develop *favorites*. This game constantly asks if you're willing to send those favorites on a harrowing mission and risk losing them forever… or if you'd rather send an idiot you recently captured who blinks constantly and can't kill anyone without fainting.

8. Dredge Every year I feel like I find one game that falls into the “just one more round” category, and baby… Dredge was it for 2023. As a weary fisherman in strange waters, you'll make the most out of your 12 measly hours of sunlight only for your daily voyages to inevitably pull you into the darkness of night, and night is when things get weird. Rocks emerge from the fog that you swear weren't there before, your equipment malfunctions, and you're pretty sure you just saw something in the water… something big. Despite only containing a small collection of islands, the world of Dredge manages to feel vast - perhaps vast enough to swallow you whole.

7. Resident Evil 4 Remake I was curious to see what sort of changes would be made to the timeless classic and father of modern 3rd person shooters, Resident Evil 4. I wasn't let down. RE4 Remake takes all the things that didn't age well about the original, tossed them out, and replaced them with only good things. And MORE things! It's campy, fun, and better than a game of bingo.

6. Jusant I really feel like this one didn't get the recognition it deserves. Jusant is a rock climbing game that combines the quiet contemplation of Journey with the mechanical specificity of Death Stranding. Unlike Death Standing, though, there is very little story to interrupt your flow. There are plenty of collectible bits to find for those curious to learn more about what happened before the events of the game, but the environmental storytelling does most of the heavy lifting. For me, the joy of the game comes from how it feels. Right trigger controls your right hand grip, and left trigger controls left hand grip. Plan your route, manage your stamina, and climb high above the clouds in search of answers.

5. F-Zero 99 This. Shit. Slaps. I've never been a big F-Zero guy, but this MADE me one. The “battle royale”, 99 player format is the perfect fit for the ruthless, high octane world of the game. Races last about three minutes, and friend, they are the most intense, white-knuckled three minutes of your life. The decision to make your boost meter the same as your health meter started in F-Zero 64 (I believe), and it is so much more HARROWING in this game when another player could side-swipe you mere meters from the finish line and blow you to bits. Sadly it's only playable via Switch Online, but it made me cheer, laugh, and scream enough this year to earn a spot in my top 5.

4. Alan Wake 2 Remedy makes weird games that also manage to exist in the AAA space and for that I will forever love them. Although Alan Wake 2 resembles a 3rd person shooter survival horror, I'd honestly say it's more of a narrative game than anything else. There's sidequests, there's puzzles, there's upgradeable skills, but at the end of the day the characters, world, and story are what kept me playing. If you haven't checked them out recently, you should definitely watch a story recap of the original games before diving into this sequel, but the wild swings for the fences this game takes are well worth that small price of admission. There's a god damn musical number, for Christ's sake.

3. The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom I've really got nothing to say about this game that most people don't already know. It's incredible. The fact that Nintendo made a game that redefined an entire genre and then made a SEQUEL to it that ups the ante is remarkable. To be honest, I've only cleared the Rito, Zora, and Goron cities. I got a bit tired of exploring the depths and guiding Koroks to their friends, but I can't deny the sheer level of complexity and polish on display here. I saw someone on TikTok build a functioning Mecha Godzilla in this game. Good God. I've heard that the ending of this game is one of the best in the franchise, and if I'd seen it this year then it may have wound up higher on my list, but for the time being I'll continue picking up this masterpiece from time to time, chipping away at it until the day comes that I can finally smack the tits off thicc Ganondorf.

2. Half-Life (25th Anniversary Update) I know I'm gonna get shit for this, but I don't care. This year was the 25th anniversary of Half-Life and Valve released an update that made playing it (and it's online Death Match) much more accessible. I threw it on my Steam Deck out of curiosity, expecting to play for 20 minutes. I could not put it down. It is unbelievable how modern this game still feels. I simply had so much fun sprinting through the corridors of Black Mesa with a dozen weapons strapped to my back, blasting aliens and military Spec-Op chumps as a 24(?!) year old theoretical physicist.

1. Baldur's Gate III This game is fucked up, man. The sheer amount of writing in this game scares me. We can all talk about how BIG this game is, it deserves it, but the thing BG3 does better than any other role playing game I have ever experienced is actually encourage roleplaying. I've played through Act I four times now, with four different groups of friends, and it has felt fresh every time. I have seen the same events play out in so many different ways that it boggles the mind, but in every one of those play sessions I see players asking themselves “What would my lil guy do here?” rather than "what is the best thing to do here?" The game rewards players constantly for just trying shit and the D&D 5e rule set means playing like the character you said you were from the start leads to frequent Points of Inspiration. Maybe one day I'll see the end of this story (probably not), but I don't have to in order to feel a connection with BG3's world, characters, and most impressively, the characters I made myself.

Honorable Mentions for 2023

5. Dave the Diver 4. Homebody 3. Sea of Stars 2. Humanity 1. Super Mario Wonder

Top 5 Favorites NOT from 2023

5. Metroid Prime 4. Final Fantasy VII Remake 3. Cursed Halo (Halo CE Mod) 2. Red Dead Redemption 2 1. Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (3DS)

Games I didn't have a chance to play from 2023 but still want to when I find more time...

Viewfinder Venba Chants of Sennaar Thirsty Suitors Hi-Fi Rush Moonring Armored Core VI Laika Aged Through Blood Bomb Rush Cyberfunk

OKAY THANKS BYE!

[allbark-no-bite]

i would’ve married you.

icemav x reader (wc. 2.4k)

summary: It had always been Maverick. It had been Maverick long before you met Ice and would continue to be Maverick until he took his last breath.

warnings: severe angst, mentions of cancer, vomiting, character death

authors note: for all of my followers, i know this isn’t something that i would usually post but i’m immensely proud of it. this is for all of my Icemav Topgun people out there

————————————————————————

You watch as he cinches his belt one, two, five times. But you didn't have to watch him dress to know how much weight he had lost. The gauntness of his cheekbones could have told you that. He could have told you that. But he doesn't. And neither of you talk about it.

He just trudges tiredly out of the bedroom, running a hand through his frosty hair as he passes through the door frame. It seemed as though out of all the loss you had expected to come along with chemo, both the tumor and his hair were insistent upon staying.

Tom had the kind of hair that one would expect a man aging into his thirties to have: still relatively thick, however dulling in color, and ever threatening to see it's final days. Except it had looked like this for the past ten years. So had you expected the chemo to finally push the bleach damaged strands over the edge? Yes. Were you surprised when it didn't? No.

Along with his steel cut jawline and the soft roundness that his high cheekbones had given his face, it worked for him. He seemed to be perpetually never aging, stuck between a spry young cadet and weathered admiral.

"Where are you going? You have an appointment today." You watch, unamused and arms crossed as he moves through the house, gathering his things.

"No, I have to go into the office today. I'm already behind on too much paperwork," he corrects, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

Tom has never been a coffee person, but these days he's totaling a minimum of two cups a day. That's not counting whatever he has while at work. It splashes onto the counter in his haste, but either he's moving too fluidly to notice or just doesn't care.

Normally his carelessness would have ticked you off, and you'd tell him off for the mess, tired of having to mother a grown man in his own home, but you're trying. Trying to be more gentle—be more patient. There is this tremendously guilty feeling that occurs when you yell at someone with cancer. Cancer. You hardly ever even say the word aloud.

It had started out as a persistent ear ache. Something he had chalked up to years of flying. He took antibiotics and that seemed to take care of the pain for a while. Then came the difficulty swallowing, followed by swollen lymph nodes, and finally the cough. It was the cough that he couldn't manage to shake.

"You can't keep missing treatments," you say, even though he knows. Sometimes you think it's worse that he's well versed about his condition. The first few weeks after finding out, he would come home, shower, and spend hours reading books that detailed symptoms and various treatments. Those hours bled into long anxious nights where the bedside lamp never turned off and neither of yourselves slept.

He knows what every symptom means; when it's good, when it's really bad.

Ice is already almost out the door, tugging on a coat that he snatched from god knows where, his combat boots shoved on haphazardly on his feet. His blonde hair is mushed from sleep, cowlicked on one side and only serving to add to his disheveled state. It's longer now, longer than it has been in a while. He'd always kept his hair cropped short in the time that you had known him, but now it was just long enough to stick out over his ears and brush the back of his neck.

"I agreed to do this shit as long as it didn't interfere with anything. It worked for a while but now I'm done. You knew the agreement."

The agreement. The agreement that you and Ice had settled on nearly ten months prior, back when he was just starting chemo—what seemed like a lifetime ago.

He hadn't wanted to undergo treatment. Hadn't wanted to endure the debilitating side effects that would come as a result. The doctors had given him a couple more years if he chose to do nothing. They'd make him 'comfortable' as they called it, and he could carry on with his duties until he couldn't. It was a guaranteed death sentence.

The chemo gave him a chance. You'd begged him to at least try. It was worth a try. Eventually he had given in under the condition that he would do the treatments until they started affecting his job. Your hope was that the chemo would stave off the disease long enough to buy him more time until then. At ten months, the tumor had shrunk in size, but Tom was feeling the effects of the radiation. He was nauseous more often than not and it was rare that he kept anything down. His joints stiffened and along with that came constant fatigue. The mouth sores were probably the worst development.

"That's not fair. You feel like crap because it's working," you argue, but it's like talking to a brick wall. He's not listening, tuning you out as he grabs his keys. He's been looking for an excuse to quit and it seemed as though he'd finally hit his breaking point. "If you skip again, everything so far will have been for nothing. You'll be right back where you started—"

His hand sliding off the doorknob, Ice turns to face you. He releases an exasperated sigh, fingers coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose. The crease between his brows seems to have become permanent these days. "The stupid appointment will be here when I get back. You will be here when I get back. My career, this opportunity, will not."

"You don't mean that," you whisper, fighting the tightening of your throat, but you don't even believe yourself when you say it.

For a fraction of a second, he at least has the decency to look guilty. Ice pauses in the doorway, his mouth opening then closing as he decides against whatever he was going to say.

"Tom...," you begin to please with him, your voice cracking, but the front door had already slammed shut.

A text comes from Slider later that day.

You need to come get him.

Had you received such a text twelve months ago, you would have assumed that Tom was being an intolerable ass and that the team was at their wits' end with him. These days he hardly even has enough energy to walk from his desk to the door, let alone raise any sort of hell like he used to.

It seems foolish to miss that kind of thing, but you do. You all miss the normalcy of it.

When you make it to the base, it is buzzing with life. The tarmac is lined with rows of aircraft and men, both returning and awaiting takeoff. Given today was the first day for new recruits, it wasn't unusual for things to be so chaotic. You find Viper behind his desk as usual, phone pressed to his ear. Upon spotting you, he covers the receiver and mouths 'bathroom'.

You find him in the one behind the showers in the locker room. He's braced over the sink, heaving. Maverick is there. Maverick is always there.

The brunette pilot is standing beside Ice, a hand on his back to steady him as he retches. Maverick's leant over, murmuring something into his ear, only taking note of you standing in the doorway as he straightens. He nods in greeting to you just slightly, a grim look in his green eyes.

You'd long ago become accustomed to the idea that Ice was not purely yours. The navy owned him first and foremost. That was sworn in oath and inarguable. But anything after that became a little less clear. There was Maverick, and then there was you.

But you knew that.

When you had first met Ice on a night out at the bar, you were completely and hopelessly swooned by his charm, convinced that you'd just met the love of your life. And then you met Maverick and realized that was never going to be true.

It had always been Maverick. It had been Maverick long before you met Ice and would continue to be Maverick until he took his last breath.

Knowing first hand that Tom doesn't like being crowded when he's like this, you wait until he straightens before making your presence known behind him. He doesn't even flinch at the feel of your hand on his back, and you take that as a bad sign. Usually he'd bristle defensively, snap at you that he could handle it on his own. You know his anger comes from a place of fear—fear of being vulnerable, fear of dying.

His face is pale and tired looking, even more so than usual. You press the back of your palm to his forehead but find that he's not unusually warm, which is good. His flushed cheeks and watery eyes must be from gagging.

Maverick now stands a few paces away, hands clasped together behind his back. He's always kept his distance when you were around, held back by not only his respect for you but the laws of the navy. One wrong move at the wrong place at the wrong time would have himself and Ice dishonorably discharged. Their careers would amount to nothing.

If it hadn’t been for DADT, you don’t think Tom would have chosen you. Had the government allowed it, he would have put an engagement ring on Pete’s finger instead of yours. You probably wouldn’t even be a part of his life. And you carry around a lot of guilt because of that. It’s been one of the most selfish things you’ve ever done, agreeing to marry Tom. But at the same time there’s a part of you that doesn’t feel guilty at all because at least that it meant you got to spend your life with him.

Tom was the love of your life, but you weren’t his. Tom loved you, he genuinely did, but he wasn’t in love with you. That was reserved for Maverick.

Tom sucks in a ragged breath, one that hurts your own chest, and a fit of coughing follows it You’re afraid you’re going to hear that cough and it’s painful sharpness for years to come, but what you’re even more afraid of is the day you don’t. You swallow the knot in your throat and pet a hand through Tom’s hair, tenderly brushing it away from his eyes.

The reality of the situation is beginning to hit you, and there’s little you can do to keep the tears from your eyes. Once he stops chemo, there’s no telling how much more time he has left. It could be a couple weeks or it could be years, but regardless, he’s done fighting.

“Pete,” you begin, your throat tight. The brunette pilot’s eyes shoot towards you, his eyes reflecting a look of surprise.

In all of the years that you had known him, he has always been Maverick to you, maybe even Mav on the rare occasion, but never Pete. That had been your way of distancing yourself from him, the man who your fiancé so fondly referred to as his wingman. It was hard to look at Maverick as a friend and at the same time, your fiancé’s lover.

“Pete, take him home, would you?” You ask, finally able to get your words out again.

Maybe he’s not sure if he’s hearing you correctly or he’s just genuinely confused, but Maverick tilts his head, his green eyes lit with confusion. “I don’t—”

Tom’s eyebrows furrow, mimicking an expression similar to his wingman’s when you slip off the engagement ring on your finger and enclose it in his palm. “(Y/n), what are you doing?”

With your heart in your throat, you engulf Tom in a hug. From a combination of him not expecting it and his considerably lighter frame, he has to shuffle a few steps back to accommodate for your sudden weight. Once recovered, his arms tighten around you. The weight of his embrace is overwhelmingly familiar, and it doesn’t hit you until now how much you’re going to miss it. You snuggle your face into the crook of his neck and breathe him in like how you used to when you first started dating.

You hear him struggling to swallow, but eventually he finds his voice. “I would have married you,” he says, his voice sounding full of regret. What he means is, even if it wasn’t exactly what he wanted, even though he wished things could have been different, he would have still walked down the isle and said ‘I love you’ and meant it. He would have loved you regardless.

Tears streaming down your cheeks, you pull away just enough to see his face. “I know, Tom. I know you would’ve.”

And as much as it breaks you to release him, you step away from him for one final goodbye. Turning towards the man standing a few feet away, you open your arms for him, crushing Maverick in an embrace. “Take care of him, okay?” you manage, your words muffled by the leather of his bomber jacket.

“Of course ,” he promises.

“I know you will. You always have.”

——

Six months later, you get a phone call from Maverick. Tom had passed in his sleep last night. The call was brief, Maverick could barley get his words out, but he just wanted to let you know before the navy contacted you. They do around noon that day and you help make arrangements for the funeral.

With Tom being an admiral, they make it into a whole production, something he would have hated but secretly been proud of. It a very emotional day, hearing the fighter jets fly by and seeing all of yours and Tom’s friends.

You intend to slip in and out, but as you’re leaving, Maverick catches your eye in all of the chaos. It’s good to see him. He looks to be holding up okay despite the situation. There’s a gold band on his ring finger that wasn’t there before. The sight tugs at your heart a bit because you want to know how long they got to be married, if they went to the courthouse or if they had a ceremony on the beach like Tom had always wanted.

That’s the thing about love.

Even if it wasn’t you and Tom in the end, you still loved him, probably always will love him.

And that was fine.

All the love you had to give was his to keep anyways.

[lovemesomeflair]

Twilight confessions

Charlotte flair x fem!reader

You stare at all the flickering lights below, the distant sounds of cars and clutter in the city destroying the almost peaceful silence. Too lost in your daydream you fail to notice Charlotte as she moves to sit next to you.

You feel a Hand run softly through your hair and look up to see it’s owner already looking at you,examining you, your messy hair,the darkness under your eyes from your lack of sleep recently,the slight redness in your eyes like you had been crying.

“Hey” she says pulling you into her and wrapping her toned arms around you,you wanted to push her away but you couldn’t,your mind was screaming but your heart always yells louder.

“Hi” you whisper,leaning further into her embrace,basking in the warmth that always seems to radiate off her.

“What are you doing up here,what are you doing up at all,you were so tired when I last spoke to you” she continues to run her hand through your hair,twirling it round her finger and gently tugging out any knots she comes across.

“I don’t know, I just couldn’t sleep I guess what,are you doing up here ash” you rest your head on her chest and close your eyes,the sounds of the city now quiet as you focus on the sound of her breathing, and the steady beat of her heart.

“You know you could have come and got me baby,your always welcome to come knock on my door or call me,no matter how late it is or how busy I am.” The pet name worsening your already flustered state,but that’s all you wanted to do, to go to her and have her lay with you,wrapping her arms around you tightly and holding you in her arms until you drifted off to sleep, you craved Charlottes attention,you craved her touch,you craved her in so many ways.

You feel her move as she delicately cupped your face in her hands.

“Hey y/n,you okay I thought I lost you there”she spoke softly, slowly rubbing her thumb back and forth across your cheek,you nod.

“Seriously, sweetie you’ve been so quiet recently,and distant.. is it something I’ve done”

You quickly shake your head.

“No you haven’t done anything,its just me, sorry for making you think that” you murmur into her chest.

“Well if that’s the case y/n, you know you can tell me anything,anything and I’ll listen” her hands still holding your head in place,forcing you to look at her.

Again you shake your head.

“I know,but I can’t tell you this”

Charlotte goes to speak and you stop her.

“I really can’t” your voice cracks as you fight the tear trying to escape your eye, you love Charlotte more then she will every love you,more than a friend,more than a best friend, you want her to be with you forever,your soulmate in every universe,on every planet, forever.

“Hey y/n, darling look at me, if your not going to tell me anything then I wanna tell you something how about that hm” she wipes the tears from you face and you nod,she smiles and pulls you closer to her.

“Y/n in all the time I’ve known you we have grown unbelievably close,we do everything thing together,and everyday I realise that I want to be closer with you..” she pauses and you hold your breath

“I love you as my best friend,y/n and I want to love you as more” she finishes and looks at you,her eyes twinkling with worry,but also flooding with love.

You let out a breath and laugh, letting your tears spill down your face as you wrap your arms around her and sit up straight as you can so you can be almost eye level with her.

“I love you too,so,so much you don’t even know” every weight that was weighing you down seems to have vanished. Your heart beating fast as Charlotte leans in,pressing her soft lips to yours and placing a hand behind your head,pulling you close and one on your chin,holding you in place.

When you both finally pull away for air,her smile brightens as she moves to Stand up,holding her hand out for you to grab.

“You seem better now,is that what you couldn’t tell me” Charlotte asks as you both walk down stairs to get to her hotel room.

You hum in agreement with her,your eyelids fluttering, fighting the sleep you desperately need,that you can now have.

With Charlottes arms wrapped tightly around you as she lulls you to sleep.

This is my first time writing anything sooo idk also there’s probs loads of spelling mistakes so ignore that

[kmenkea]

Bloodlust - Part 4 "A night of passion"

Summary: For the first time in days, Astarion and Leeith have an evening free from any burden; an evening they'll spend in each other's cold embrace, laying on a pretty clearing in the forest.

Content: NSFW chapter. (finally) pretty tame sex and a bit of orgasm denial/teasing (the real kinky stuff will come later, dw, I just think their relationship needs to develop more for that). Blood sucking because, you know, hot.

Please comment and tell me what you think or if you have any critiques.

Word Count: 5.5k

Read on AO3

Leeith was in charge of cooking that evening at camp. A few pans were in front of her, frying fresh water fish with a side of mushrooms and carrots. A few times already, someone had jokingly asked if poison was her people's special spice or if she could serve antidotes instead of wine and beer. She really wanted to throw some broken glass in the dinner, since that could kill everyone without it being technically poison, but she still needed her companions. No mass killings today, unfortunately. 

Besides, she wanted to enjoy eating the food she prepared: in the underdark she only had two choices, either go to a tavern where no one had ever heard of her - pretty hard since she led a group of criminals - or learn how to cook. Any other food was probably laced with poisons and it was better to starve and be safe. 

After sunset, everyone got round the campfire for dinner. They inspected their dishes and smelt them conspicuously, except for Karlach and Lae’zel, who ate without a fuss. The drow kept smiling at her companions, explaining the properties of different poisonous mushrooms they had in the underdark, but a certain sense of resentment and loneliness flared up her bile, turning into anger. Sure, she did play into the stereotypes of her people sometimes, especially against her enemies, but not once she had laid a finger against her party, except for Gale, who really only got threatened. If this was going to last much longer, filling up the food of whoever crossed her with poison would be the least she was going to do. 

She glanced at each and everyone of her companions, studying them as they drank and laughed. Few had done nothing to cross her, but it was probably just a matter of time before they too, would betray her trust in some way. It was better to be ready to act and free herself of dead weight before they’d try to cut her in half or make her head explode… or place a dagger in her throat. Astarion was staring at her from behind the fire with a knowing smirk. He wasn’t eating for obvious reasons, but still partook in conversation. 

He wasn’t trustworthy either. His personality would have fit well in the underdark, so sly and agile, the perfect backstabber. Leeith smiled back at him. He was fun though, so he would get a pass for the time being. 

The first to leave the gathering was Lae’zel, who wanted to be ready for the morning, then Shadowheart, after finishing a last cup of wine. Gale, Wyll and at last Karlach went away to take care of things in their tents. Leeith remained in front of the fire pit, readying her small alchemy set. Along with her was the vampire, who was lost with his eyes pointed up, stargazing. For a while, she ignored him, getting ingredients ready in different little pots, glancing between the notes and a small scale to weigh the right amount of herbs and oils. Only when everything was put over coals to heat up gently, did she sit beside the vampire. He noticed her presence getting closer and twisted his head to look at her. There wasn't an expression on his face, neither happiness nor rage. 

"How are you feeling, Astarion?" She crossed her legs, showing him a gentle smile. 

"I'm brooding. Nights like this are made for reliving the best moments of your life." If he was sad or genuine, she couldn't tell. 

"Don't you get enough of that in your trance?" She giggled a bit to ease the atmosphere.

"You see, my memories are not what you could call… charming, darling. But they are quite striking." He didn't seem to pay much mind to what he said, waving his hands in the air like a drama actor. Leeith shrugged: telling him to just remember other things while trancing probably wasn't the greatest advice she could give, so she was left with the next best solution after ignoring the problem.

"Want to get drunk again tonight? Properly this time. And then you can try to beat me at a knife throwing competition." She made the knife spin in the air, the blade still stained in green from some alchemy ingredient. Before she could catch it again, Astarion snatched it by the blade, pointing its handle towards her. 

"I had something better in mind." He sat up to get closer to her. His voice was lower both in tone and volume.

"And what might that be?" She returned a coy little grin, leaning towards him. 

"It's a quiet evening for once. Perfect for two people who want to take some time for themselves, if you catch my meaning." He caressed her jaw with just one finger, lingering for a few seconds on the soft flesh connecting her head and neck. "And I do mean sex, to be clear. We've been waiting long enough." He laughed, letting go of her. Leeith smirked: if it was up to her, she would have already jumped, pin him to the ground and taken her pleasures. A glance around the camp changed her mind.

"Alright, but where will we go?" She held his hand, feeling his cold skin under her thumb.

"Let's find our own little place of nowhere. Somewhere we can lose ourselves and forget all this madness." He motioned at the camp and their heads, trapping her gaze in his. The vampire reached for her shoulder, pulling her closer as if to share a secret. His lips barely grazed on her ear. "There's a secluded place nearby that should do nicely. Wait until the others are asleep, then come find me there."

"I'll see you there." She purred in his ear, tightening her grasp on his hand.

"Indeed you will, my love. I can't wait." They let go of one another, and after one last glance, they both went in different directions. Leeith returned to brew her potions, biting her lips in anticipation and daydreaming about the night to come. 

One by one, candles and torches were snuffed out, plunging the little camp they had in darkness; all shades of grey and black for the drow, but all perfectly visible up to the edges of the hill. Even her campfire had mostly died down, but she didn't care to fix it since she would be going away shortly. The drow was thinking of what they would be doing together, but had very little knowledge of what the vampire actually liked or wanted, except her blood. Even though she had many partners in her life, she was never good at reading what they wanted or preferred. Long term relationships were better for that, but those came with a long list of other problems, ones much harder to deal with. 

Even whilst laying down, she saw Astarion quietly sneak away, in a flash of white. A burst of energy ran down her spine, telling her to jump up and follow him… but it would have been funnier to let him wait, get a bit desperate and arrive just as he realised this might have all been a fluke. And so she waited, getting herself ready for him, fixing her eye liner in the mirror he used, wearing delicate jewellery and a light perfume. If she wasn't camping out in the forest, she would have worn her best underwear, something lacey and silky. The softest thing she had here was her bare skin. 

After making sure everyone was truly asleep, she went for the forest, throwing a long cloak over her shoulders. She didn't really know where this place was, but it couldn't have been too far. The drow paid close attention to any nook and cranny for a silver flash or anything alerting her of the vampire's presence, but even with that knowledge, she was surprised when he appeared right in front of her, wearing only a smile and his trousers. His slim body stood out from the darkness of the trees, almost shining as bright as the moon. He opened his arms, getting closer.

Leeith took a deep breath, letting go of all her worries and grievances for tonight. She wasn't going to let anything spoil her fun: only the gods knew when another moment of respite was going to come and she didn't want to ruin what could have very well been her last one. She bit her lip, feeling a certain tingling sensation build up in her lower abdomen. 

"There you are, I've been waiting. Waiting since the moment I set eyes on you." With each word he took one small step closer, filling her vision with his presence. "Waiting to have you." He smelled of citrus and rosemary cologne.

"Mhh, you don't have me yet." She smirked, taking one small step backwards. His words were so inviting for the occasion: picture perfect, as if he knew exactly what everyone wanted to hear. He was going to need a bit more effort than that. 

"Don't I? You're here. And, I don't think you want to talk." He lifted his eyebrow in a knowing gaze. "I think you want to be known, to be tasted." His voice turned low and silky, while a hand reached up for her chin, raising it to have a better look. 

"And what do you want?" She reached up to intertwine their fingers, feeling the skin of his hand, every little scar and wrinkle. It was cold like the night, but as soft as autumn air.

"What does everyone want? Pleasure. Yours. Mine. Our collective ecstasy." In a rush, he grabbed both of her hands, placing a kiss on each of them, and then on the wrist, running his lips upwards the inner part of the forearm. Leeith was pleasantly surprised by all this fanfare: she was expecting a much more… detached approach to the night: lay on the ground, have fun for some time and be on their way. She wasn't expecting the vampire to still court her.

"Isn't that what you want? To lose yourself in me?" He tensed up as if he was afraid of something, maybe being rejected again, thought the drow. Leeith rolled her eyes at all this cloying sweetness and, with a smirk, unclasped the pin holding her cape. The woollen cloth fell at her feet with a soft thud, revealing her naked body, covered only in a few golden chains. 

The vampire raised an eyebrow, looking at her from head to toe and back: he was surprised, but certainly content with how things were going. Without another moment lost to talk, he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. Leeith shivered when their naked chests met: she expected heat, what any partner had offered her, but this was closer to hugging a soft marble column. Not that it mattered now, as she crossed her arms above his shoulders, pulling him down towards her. 

His lips were soft and the drow could feel his fangs pressing on her. She grabbed his face, pushing herself closer, so that he'd open his mouth. The taste of his tongue, of his teeth, it was so metallic, like iron and copper. She liked it, and went ahead to twist their tongues together. 

The vampire wasn't going to stand there and take it passively. His hands ran down to her hips, feeling the curve of her bottom, his fingers sank into the soft flesh of her thighs and then swiftly he lifted her high. The drow gasped when she suddenly lost the ground from below her feet, looking down with a smile. The elf pushed her against a tree; The bark was rough against her back, but she had worse in the past; a few scratches weren’t going to intimidate her. 

Astarion kissed her again, but it was just a small peck, enough to have all of the attention back to him. “I’ve got more cards up my sleeve.” He caught her gaze and went for her mouth, clinging to her warm body, pushing himself ever closer. Leeith locked her legs tighter, not because she was afraid to slip, but to feel all of him. His hard muscles, tensed from lifting her, the little scars all over his back, from ancient battles or… something worse probably. No reason to think about that now and bring down the mood. 

No, what she was concentrating on was much more appealing, firing her mind with images and possibilities. With her legs so tight around his hips, she could feel his hard length pressing on her core. It must have been painful to have it so constricted, but it was even more painful for her to feel it rub against her clit, sparking a faint pleasure that inflamed her, rising so slowly it almost annoyed her. She was greedy and already wanted a lot more than just some kisses and his hands groping her ass. 

She planted both her feet on the tree behind her and pushed them. Astarion lost his balance, stumbled back a few steps, and fell down on the cold grass. The drow lunged on top of him like a feral beast, placing her hands at either side of his head. Her short hair cascaded in front of her face, wild like the look on her eyes. She grinned and bit her lip, admiring Astarion below her. His curls were a bit less perfect and his face had a tinge of shock. It disappeared in an instant, as he grabbed her hips and forced her to sit down on him. She tasted iron and copper again, as they both claimed each other’s mouth. 

And then the vampire raised his hips, rubbing his length on her and earning a small moan. Leeith felt so turned on: she didn’t know if it was the fact she hadn’t fucked in so long or if she just wanted him that much, but she was sure her pussy had started to throb and claim more. She sat up, panting and licking her lips. If it was any normal man, the drow would have already tied his hands up, slashed his trousers and pants and taken her pleasures. Any male drow would have been more than fine with that and she wouldn’t care about a surface dweller, but the vampire was another problem: whips and ropes or any other fun tool were probably out of the picture. She took one deep breath to calm herself, then grabbed his right hand, gently raising it up. 

“Is there anything you don’t like, Astarion? What is it that you don’t want me to do?” Her thumb again went to feel his skin, slowing the pace of their act. 

“Darling, if I’m bedding a drow it is because I want it wild and risky. Where’s all the energy from earlier, mh?” He tightened his grip on her hips and tried to push her to the side, but she stood her ground and smiled gently. Leeith broke eye contact to look at her finger following the wrinkles of his palm, caressing them gently. 

“I don’t want you to pull out any dagger or weapon - except the ones in your pants and mouth, to be clear - nor cast any spells without asking.” She locked her eyes on his again. His expression had mellowed out, from a cocky and pompous one, to serious and huffed. “Show a blade anywhere near the vicinity of me, and I’ll be the one to blast your body against a tree.” He took a few seconds to answer, his hand following the line of her thigh down to the ground. 

“I- I don’t want you to pose as my mistress or owner.” There was pain in his voice, but an instant later his defences were up again and all the sorrow was hidden behind a snarky smirk. “Like asking a fish not to swim, I know. Woe is you, little drow.” He chuckled and, this time with more force, managed to get back up on top of her. Leeith laughed, letting him take control. 

Astarion was gently following the curves of her body, avoiding the many little scars that punctuated it. His soft touch made her shiver when he reached the waist, yet his fingers kept creeping downwards, past her navel, threatening to give her pleasure at any moment. She needed that, but she wanted something else before, something that could make the whole night a lot more magical.

The drow raised his head by the chin, and with just a smile, freed her neck from any hair, exposing the puncture scars. 

“Why don’t you take something? A little boost of energy for the night.” He stopped dead in his tracks, travelling back up with both his eyes and head, up to her face. He pressed his cock back between her legs, making her just imagine what would await. Without a second thought, Leeith crossed her limbs behind his back, pulling him even closer to grind on him. The faint pleasure made her pussy drool and protest, growing more and more uncomfortable. 

“You’re such a delectable little pet.” He huffed, ravaging her neck with kisses and tiny little bites. Astarion lifted her head up to give himself more space and, an instant later, the bite arrived, along the mind twirling, ravishing pain that came with it. The drow loudly moaned, arching her back as her blood flew in his mouth. She grasped at his locks and shoulders, needing something to keep her stable while he sucked on her skin. 

God it felt so good! The blood turned him on fire, it seemed like it would give him the energy to do all that he wanted the whole night. He felt his trousers grow way too tight and uncomfortable, so much so that, while still attached to her neck like a tick, he had to kick them off. Their souls were meeting and just as he grew more and more excited, she followed, no doubt feeding on each other's desire. The vampire’s hand cupped one of her breasts, twisting and squeezing her nipple harshly. She whined and moaned, sinking her nails in his back and raising her hips, rubbing her wetness on his now uncovered boner, almost able to catch the tip, slide it deep inside them and finally free them. She already wanted to give in, to pierce her wet cunt and fill her with his cum by the end.

He never had a woman be that needy below him: desperately clinging to him for any amount of pleasure, wetting his cock so much, without it even being inside, and above all, pushing his head on her neck to suck more. For a moment it felt… nice. But it was fleeting. 

The connection broke and her body went limp, tired. Dizziness overtook him and he knew he had his fill. It was the time to respect his part of the deal. 

His tongue ran up on her neck, still bloodied and red, trying to clean as much as possible. Leeith was more than burning. She needed to get her legs spread and cunt filled instantly. She cupped his cheeks, not caring about the blood running down her shoulders and breasts, and forced their lips together. She had to agree, as their tongues danced together, fresh blood was delicious, but like a savoury broth, not honeyed wine. 

His hands were running everywhere on her, sometimes caressing her, giving her shivers, others clenching and twisting, holding her down by the waist or pinching her thighs and ass. His tongue trailed down from her lips back to her neck, following the droplets of blood past her collarbones and on her breasts. The drow bit her lips as he started to play with her nipples, twisting it around his tongue and suckling the blood that had run off. She stared at him half lidded, running her nails on his back, feeling his bumps and scars. Her hands went down to his crotch, feeling the lower part of his abdomen with her thumbs. She tried to get closer to his manhood, but the vampire stopped her, pinning her wrist to the ground. 

“Just relax and let me take over, darling.” He whispered in between kisses and soft bites. “My debts are way overdue.” 

Astarion’s fingers began caressing her inner thighs, up and down, each time getting closer to her core. They traced the outside of her lips, making Leeith squirm and moan in anticipation. But every time he’d get near, he would remain just shy of her clit, instead biting harder on her nipple, so that she’d feel his fangs leaning on her flesh. 

“Stop- teasing me, elf.” She said, annoyed at how long it was taking to get to the main course. The elf lifted his head and stared at her smirking. At once, his fingers went deep, down to the knuckle, and then out, swiping upwards and flicking her clit on the way. She yelped in surprise, melting under his touch. All the displeasure though returned, when he stared at his shining fingers against the moonlight. 

“But I enjoy teasing so much. How else would I be able to get you this wet?” He kissed her jaw, then started whispering. “Gods, how can you be so aroused? Is it all because of me, mh, pet?” He fingered her again, this time taking his time to explore all of her folds, putting only the softest of pressures. Her pussy was so slick, as he went up and down it, circling her clit, then inserting just the tip of his fingers, enough to coat the rest of her in juices. Leeith tried to ease her muscles, to relax and drown in the pleasure. She shut her eyes, concentrating on his motions. With every circle he went just a bit deeper, a bit faster, until one of his slender fingers was deep in her, touching the sensitive mound inside of her. She moaned when he added another finger, all the while still taking care of her breasts. His fingers curled and cut, feeding the flames. 

“Astarion.” She whimpered. Her hands were shaking, but she grabbed his head all the same, to look in his eyes. “I want more. I want you to- fuck me properly.” She tried to keep her voice steady and assertive, but it was hard while the vampire fingered her so frantically and her skin was covered in goosebumps. Astarion just smiled, and added another finger to the mix. The drow threw her head back and tried clenching her thighs, but Astarion was firmly in the middle. 

“You squirm so gorgeously, darling. But I am an understanding man.” He took away all of his fingers, leaving her cunt to clench around nothing. “You just have to say the magic little word.” His hands went back to roam about her skin, while he better positioned himself between her legs. Gods, she could feel his hard cock swipe up and down her slit, barely pressing in her entrance, just to move up again. She couldn’t help but grind her hips a little. She felt her pride torn to shreds for being in this position under not only a man, but a surface elf at that. Lolth would have not looked at her kindly. But he was a vampire, so maybe he had to get a pass. 

“Ugh… Please.” She bit her lips and furrowed her brow, but her reddened cheeks still gave away her arousal and loosening conviction. 

“Mh? What did you say?” The vampire pushed her hips down to the ground, so that she couldn’t move anymore, removing even the little bit of respite that came from grinding on him.

“Please, I would like to get fucked now, blood sucker.” She huffed, pulling him closer by the waist.

“Tks, still a bit too feisty, but I can work on that.” Astarion spread her legs apart, sliding his cock on her wet folds, stirring small shivers of pleasure in the drow. The tip of his dick tested her entrance. There was some resistance, as the tight walls of her cunt adjusted to him. Leeith whimpered against his ear: She knew he was big and she hadn’t had any fun in a while, but didn’t expect it to feel so… shattering, almost unable to fit. He slowed down, moaning for how tightly his girth was being swallowed. 

“You’re not a virgin, are you?” The question puzzled the drow. 

“Uh? I mean, I can act as one. I’ve heard virgin blood tastes better.” She chuckled, crossing her legs above his back and arms behind his nape. 

He closed the gap between their faces and bit her lower lip, enough to draw blood with his fangs. “You’re already delicious enough” He purred. 

With all doubts cast aside, he slammed himself down on her. She saw stars and arched her back, yelping in surprise. That didn’t stop the vampire, who simply bit her lip again, the taste of blood reinvigorating his cock. He pulled out slowly, making her feel every inch of his dick leaving her body. And then she had to endure as he pushed his length back in her, down to the hilt. A few tears left from the side of her eyes, as she bit her hand, the pleasure coursing through her. But he was still toying with her, probably enjoying how her thighs clenched around him and her walls pulsed around his girth. The drow raised her hips to meet him and pushed him inside with her legs. Astarion grinned and pressed his thumb on her clit. 

“Alright alright. I’ll quit the games. Just don’t start crying when it gets too much.” His voice dropped to a husky tone, whilst his free hand pinned her wrist on the ground. 

“Be glad I’m not the one riding you.” She moaned back, urging him to move. Without a second thought, he began thrusting in and out of her, one hand at the side of her head for support, the other pleasuring her clit in tempo with his motions. She moaned and grappled him closer, raising her hips to give him a better angle. Judging by all the noises her pussy was making, she must have been a wet mess, drooling all over his thick, long cock. It was reaching deep in her, stretching her walls and filling every sensitive crevice. His pace was constant and steady, fast enough to pleasure the both of them without getting overwhelming. The pace of an expert, who had done this again and again. His thumb circled around her clit, never giving it a moment to rest, keeping Leeith's entire body locked in pleasure.

Her voice grew higher and her hands went everywhere on his body, now slightly warm thanks to the fresh blood coursing through. His cock felt the warmest, still pumping relentlessly, pushing further and further, breaking each and every barrier. The drow trebled in pleasure, feeling a weight raising in her core. It was very hard to keep herself from digging her nails into his flesh.

She opened her eyes and playfully bit his neck, wanting to also leave a purple bruise on his perfect ivory skin and hear a moan or groan escape from his closed lips. Astarion didn't react, his eyes lost somewhere deep in his mind. Leeith cupped his cheek, gently caressing his smooth face . 

"Are you alright?" She whispered. Maybe he was just concentrating on his thrusts. The vampire looked down, dumbfounded at first, then smirking. 

"How could I not be, darling?" He sat up, trailing his hands on her thighs, down to the ankles. "I think we both just need a little bit more excitement." with that he lifted both her legs on his shoulders and tugged her closer, hitting his thighs with her buttocks. 

“Gods, I love where this is goin- ahh!” she was interrupted by him plunging his cock back inside of her, thumb back on her clit and ramming in her like nothing had ever happened. Her cunt was quick to fire up again, clenching around his boner even harder than before. The sensation of being full, the pleasure stemming from her insides and coating her brain in a soft, fluffy glaze. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest and her blood rush through her ears. The vampire’s hands were rough on her, one relentlessly pleasuring her, the other sinking in her flesh, reddening it. Her noises were uncontrollable, no matter how hard she bit her lip or covered her mouth with her hands; she decided not to even care, moaning and calling for gods like her life depended on it.

The pleasure was so deep, always shy of touching her cervix and hurting her, but pounding her sweet spot again and again. With each thrust, some juices left her, drooling down her ass. With each thrust, the weight in her core built up, as if more and more chains were locking it.

She admired Astarion, who was looking down at her legs, preoccupied with his motion. Even him though, no matter how hard he was trying, judging by his furrowed brow, couldn't contain his moans and groans much longer. The more her pussy squeezed his cock, the less thin his lips became, until they finally parted and a moan escaped them, followed by a sigh of relief. His thumb pressed harder on her clit, circling and flicking it vigorously, not a second to rest and let her come down from the high. 

Leeith was trying to meet his thrusts, while she held his hands, just gently following them. The closer she got to her orgasm, the harder it was to concentrate and move at the same pace, her hips rolling quicker, in an effort to release sooner. Astarion steadied them, but even he was getting more sensitive. The chains in Leeith’s core grew and grew, but the lock was finally getting undone. Her pussy throbbed and squeezed hard around his cock, wanting to keep him in. It was amazing he still managed to move inside of that clamp. 

“Astarion-” She breathed out at last, clenching his forearm. “Keep going… I- I’m about to come.” She loosened her muscles, ready to let herself reach her peak. 

“Oh, I don’t fucking think so.” He almost growled. He grabbed both of her wrists, pushing them above her head. He leaned in on her, bringing her legs down with him. “You’re holding on until I am ready.” He spanked her ass before squeezing it. “And then I’ll want to hear you beg.” The drow chuckled and held his head with her free hand. 

“Now it’s getting good, blood-sucker!” She forced his mouth open, crashing their faces together. His hips were completely lost, the urge to come making them erratic and brutal. He was ramming her without any care in the world, plunging his cock balls deep. If a few minutes ago he was trying to carefully pick her locks, now his desire was just that of smashing the door down. She was dangerously close to coming, but so was him for how much his cock throbbed. 

“Ast-arion… may I?” She whispered directly in his ear, breathy and low. It sent shivers down his spine, his cock hardening and ready to burst. 

“Come for me, pet.” He groaned. He glanced at her neck, still crimson with blood. He couldn’t resist. 

Leiiths felt his fags sink deep. The pain overwhelmed her just as much as the pleasure did, all in one moment. She shut her eyes, blood rushing to her ears and to her shoulder. Someone called his name right in his ear. An overwhelming pleasure consumed him as the drow tensed and squirmed under him. He could feel her come around his aching length, squeezing the life out of him like a succubus. The blood spilled into his mouth, coating it like a syrup, breathing life into his long dead lungs and heart. For just an instant, he felt his heart flutter alive. An instant later, he moaned: bliss, the most he had ever felt in two hundred years, finally saturated his body, making his muscles shake and tremble. He sank both his fangs and his cock more in her, as he came, filling her with his thick, warm cum, just as he was drinking her scarlet, sanguine liquor. Their brains were fuzzy and inebriated. Their pleasure mixing and multiplying against each other.  At the end, his muscles gave in, falling on her, cock still throbbing gently. She was warm and soft. 

The drow panted, her fingers caressing Astarion’s back gracefully. It seemed like he didn’t want to move away from her. The drow tapped his shoulder, wanting to shift to the side: now that it was calm, she discovered soreness in her back and the weight wasn't helping. Fortunately the elf rolled to the ground, extending his arms to the sides like a snow angel. Without asking, she rested her head on his forearm, gaining a weird glace from the vampire. In all answer, she extended her own arm, sliding it behind his head. 

Her cheeks were still flushed, giving them a purplish hue when mixed with her blue skin. 

"It's much better than bare earth, no?" She smiled.

[ghostinthelibrarywrites]

Loves Me Knot

This is a fic I wrote for @witcher-bows-and-arrows... and then totally forgot to post for two weeks. So Happy Belated Valentine's Day, everyone! This is set in the same AU as Knot On My Watch and Sorry Knot Sorry.

Prompt: Mate

Rating: E

Pairing: Geralt/Jaskier

Warnings: omegaverse, explicit sexual content

Word count: 5K

Summary:  It’s been half a year since Jaskier last saw Geralt at the fateful banquet in Cintra—after which Jaskier made the mistake of asking Geralt to be his mate and Geralt ran away. So he’s taken off guard when Geralt bursts into his office in Oxenfurt and tells Jaskier that they need to mate right away to help him catch a katakan targeting omegas.

You can read it below or find it on AO3!

***

“This isn’t a bad composition, per say,” Jaskier tells the fidgety young man sitting across the desk from him, trying to keep his voice as gentle as he can. “It’s just very close to the last assignment you did for this class.”

“But you gave me top marks on that one, professor!” Piotr says, overwrought as only a first year getting his first less-than-stellar grade can be.

Jaskier sighs and reaches across the desk to pat the lad reassuringly on the hand. Teaching at Oxenfurt year-round, rather than just for the winter term, seemed like a good idea months ago. He thought it would give him time to rest, as well as providing him and Geralt with a bit of a much-needed break from each other after the disaster in Cintra. But he doesn’t have to deal with tearful first years on Path.

“Yes, I did,” he says. “Because it was a lovely song the first time you submitted it. But this was your final assignment of the term and it just isn’t—”

The door of Jaskier’s office bursts open, ricocheting off the wall. Piotr lets out a shriek of surprise, then shrieks again when Geralt comes striding in. Geralt looks distinctly worse for wear, Jaskier notices, his armor worn and his face pinched in that way it gets when he hasn’t been getting enough rest. He looks like he’s lost weight and Jaskier tamps down on that old urge to protect and provide, because Geralt made it pretty damn clear that wasn’t what he wanted from him.

“Professor!” Piotr squeals, holding up his composition like he thinks it will shield him from a witcher.

“Calm down, Piotr.” Jaskier rises to his feet, opening his mouth to ask Geralt what the fuck he’s doing here after all this time.

Geralt beats him to it. “Jaskier, I need you to mate with me.”

Piotr squeaks. Jaskier wonders if the fish pie he had for lunch was bad and is making him hallucinate. It wouldn’t be the first time.

“Excuse me?” he finally asks when he finds his voice.

Geralt’s golden eyes have a slightly wild look to them. “I need you to mate with me,” he says again.

Jaskier stares at him for a long moment, then turns to Piotr. “Piotr, office hours are done for the day. Why don’t we chat tomorrow after class?”

Wide-eyed, Piotr rises to his feet, looking between Geralt and Jaskier. “Er, congratulations?”

“Good day, Piotr,” Jaskier says firmly, already anticipating the wild rumors that are sure to have spread by the end of the day. He watches as Piotr edges by Geralt, then says, “Hello, Geralt.”

Geralt steps inside, letting the door close behind him. “Will you do it?”

“I’m doing well, thank you.” Jaskier crosses his arms over his chest, scowling at his lover. Or his former lover? He’s not sure, to be honest. It’s not like Geralt officially ended their love affair, but he did tell Jaskier that he would never be his mate before leaving him alone in Cintra. “Classes have been going well and I forgot how beautiful Oxenfurt is in the spring. I would ask how you’re doing, but given that you look like shit, I already know the answer to that. When’s the last time you slept?”

“Ten days ago,” Geralt says. “There’s a katakan that’s been killing newly mated omegas. The only way to catch it is to make myself bait.”

Jaskier closes his eyes and lets out a long breath. Of course Geralt doesn’t want to mate with him because he loves him or wants to spend the rest of his life with him. Of course it’s just because of witcher business. “Come on, I’m not having this conversation while you look half dead on your feet, nor where any of my students or colleagues could walk by. Let’s go back to my lodgings.”

***

Geralt can’t stop watching Jaskier as the bard moves around the kitchen of his Oxenfurt townhouse, preparing a tray of crackers, salted meat, and cheese, even though Geralt has told him multiple times that he’s fine. Geralt has wiped himself down with the soap and basin of water Jaskier brought him and changed out of his armor. He should feel relaxed, but the knot of tension hasn’t left his shoulders.

Jaskier looks just like he did when they parted ways in Cintra six months ago. He smells the same, moves the same, talks the same. But there’s a distance there that wasn’t there before. He holds himself a little differently, like he’s bracing himself. Geralt doesn’t like it, even though he knows that there’s no one to blame for the distance but himself.

Walking away from Jaskier in Cintra before the foolish alpha bound himself for life to Geralt out of obligation seemed like the right thing to do at the time. But now here Geralt is, asking Jaskier to bind himself for life anyway, because Geralt will always want more than he should when it comes to Jaskier.

“Here you go.” Jaskier puts the plate down in front of Geralt, as well as a mug of ale. “Eat.”

Geralt doesn’t actually remember the last time he ate something that wasn’t jerky or hardtack, so he takes a piece of cheese with a grateful nod. “Thank you.”

Jaskier watches him eat for a moment, arms crossed tightly over his chest. He smells unhappy and Geralt hates it. “Why are you here, Geralt?”

Geralt finds he can’t look at him. “There’s a katakan in Denesle that’s killed a half dozen omegas, all within days of them being mated. I remember Vesemir telling me about something like this a few years back. If it’s the same katakan he told me about, she’s been popping up every two or three years for decades. She’ll spend a month or so killing every newly mated omega she can find, then she’ll vanish and pop up on the other side of the Continent years later. I need to find her and kill her before she disappears again.”

“And so you want to make yourself bait?”

“Too dangerous to use anyone else as bait.”

“Oh, of course.” Jaskier’s voice is heavy with sarcasm. “Your heat isn’t for months, Geralt.”

“Got a potion in Novigrad to induce heats.”

Jaskier’s lips pinch like he’s tasting something sour. “What happened to ‘witchers don’t take mates? Witchers spend their lives alone?’” He pitches his voice lower, like he always does when he’s imitating Geralt.

Geralt is hit with the sudden, vivid memory of Jaskier standing outside of the Cintran palace, looking up at Geralt with an uncertain smile.

“You don’t have to walk away from this,” Jaskier said at the time. “Look, it’s about time you made an honest alpha out of me. We can mate. We can be a family, us and your child of surprise. Hell, we can settle down in Cintra so she can still see Calanthe, Duny, and Pavetta. They have a university here, even if it’s no Oxenfurt. We can have a house with a garden and a stable for Roach. We can have a life together, Geralt, away from the Path.”

And Geralt told him no and rode away, because he wouldn’t stick Jaskier with his mistakes. Jaskier, who was always so careful not to knot any of his lovers except Geralt and who drank a tea to make himself less likely to father a child. Jaskier, who didn’t want to be a father any more than Geralt did. Jaskier, who had given up his whole life to walk the Path with Geralt. Geralt hadn’t intended to ask more of him, not until the katakan forced his hand.

“I wouldn’t ask this of you,” Geralt says stiffly. “But people are dying and more will die if I don’t stop this thing. Her last victim was killed on his wedding night. His new wife stepped outside to use the outhouse and came back to find her husband dead in their bed.”

He closes his eyes against the memory of the young alpha’s anguished face. He knows she’ll carry the guilt of not having been able to protect her omega for the rest of her life, even if there’s nothing she could have done.

“Geralt,” Jaskier says, like he’s picking each word carefully. “Mating is for life.”

“I know. Like I said, I wouldn’t ask you to do this if it wasn’t the only thing I could think of.”

“You found the idea of becoming my mate so repellant six months ago that you left me alone in Cintra. Do you know how angry Calanthe was about the whole Law of Surprise thing? I had to talk my way out of ending up in the stocks. I’m pretty sure the only reason I didn’t was because Pavetta talked her mother out of it.”

“Fuck.” Geralt’s gaze flicks anxiously over Jaskier, but he doesn’t see any signs of injury.

Jaskier smiles tightly. “I’m fine, but I’m under orders to never return to Cintra and to tell you to do the same. I don’t think the Lioness of Cintra will be spreading the word about my triumphant performance at the wedding, I’m afraid to say.”

“I’m sorry.” Geralt knows it’s inadequate, but he doesn’t know what else he can say to make this right. He should never have come to Jaskier about this, he realizes. He has no right to ask his bard for something this big. Abruptly, he stands up. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come here. I’ll find someone else.”

“Someone else?” Jaskier stares at him with the same incredulity as when Geralt appeared in his office. “Someone else to mate?”

Geralt nods. It won’t be easy to find an alpha willing to mate a witcher omega, but maybe he can find an alpha in Denesle willing to sacrifice themselves for the sake of more omegas’ lives. It’s not like he’ll make the poor fucker endure his company after the mating.

“No.” A growl enters Jaskier’s voice and Geralt goes still, some latent instinct snapping to attention. “You’re not just going to go out and offer your neck to the first knothead that comes along.”

Geralt swallows, mouth suddenly dry. “I told you, I need to mate someone if I’m going to lure the katakan out.”

“Then I’ll fucking do it.”

“But—”

“You say people are dying.” Jaskier sets his jaw stubbornly, in a way that reminds Geralt of the first time that the bard told him that he was coming with him and Geralt could try to leave him behind as many times as he wanted, but Jaskier would always catch up to him. “And if the choices are innocent omegas being slaughtered in their wedding beds, you finding some random alpha to mate you, or me giving you a mating bite, then it’s no choice at all.”

“I’m sorry,” Geralt tells him.

Jaskier smiles tightly. “When do we leave for Denesle?”

***

Jaskier knows that Geralt hates being knotted in unfamiliar places. They’ve split his heats between the heat rooms at the Temple of Melitele and the lovely omega spas in Toussaint since that first unexpected heat in the middle of Velen. He can see the tension in his omega as Geralt paces around the room at the inn, already reeking of pre-heat. It’s a perfectly fine room, probably one of the nicer ones where they’ve stayed during their travels, with a comfy mattress, plenty of bedding for a nest, and a sturdy lock on the door.

“I don’t know why you’re fussing,” Jaskier finally tells Geralt, because the pacing is setting his nerves on edge. “The whole point is us not being safe here, right?”

Geralt turns to frown at him, looking a little hurt. “I want you safe. As soon as we’re mated, I’ll go take a walk and hope the katakan smells me.”

“Fucking and running, Geralt?” Jaskier asks with a levity he doesn’t feel. “You cad.”

That only makes Geralt’s frown deepen. “I told you—”

“I know, you wouldn’t be doing this if you had a choice.” Jaskier turns away so he doesn’t have to look at Geralt’s face. “You have made that abundantly clear, my dear. You don’t have to worry about me getting any romantic notions.”

“Why are you doing this then?”

“Because you need my help and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you,” Jaskier says. “We’ve known each other for over a decade, Geralt. Haven’t you figured that out by now?”

Geralt is quiet for a moment before he says, “Of course I know that.” He doesn’t say it like he thinks it’s a good thing.

“Then why do you keep not letting me?” Jaskier whirls on him.

Geralt looks away, jaw tight. “We should get started. This potion works fast. My heat will be over within the hour.”

It says a lot about Jaskier’s emotional state that he didn’t notice the sweet scent of Geralt’s pre-heat growing deeper and muskier, nor the flush to his skin or the sweat starting to dampen his brow. His cock, luckily, has taken notice; it’s already half-hard in his breeches. He supposes for this to work, only his knot has to be in the mood for what comes next.

“Alright,” he says, trying to sound at least a little enthusiastic, and closes the distance between them. Without preamble, he takes Geralt’s face in his hands and kisses him. Geralt stiffens, like he wasn’t expecting to be kissed, before relaxing into the touch. His skin is hot to the touch. This, at least, is familiar. Jaskier tries to focus on the warmth of Geralt’s skin against his, the scent of his growing heat, the taste of his mouth. He tries to let his mind go blank.

And then Geralt pulls back. “Stop.” His voice rings with the note of tension it normally only carries when he’s spotted a danger in the woods.

Jaskier jerks away as if he’s been slapped, blinking in confusion. “What’s wrong?” He looks around, half-expecting to find the katakan lurking in the corner, but there’s nowhere for a giant bat to lurk in the tiny room.

Geralt shakes his head, taking another step back. “I can’t do this to you. I’m sorry. I never should have come to you.”

“Do what to me?”

“I’ll find another way to get the katakan.” Geralt is still moving backwards, like Jaskier is a beast who may lunge. “There has to be a better way.”

Jaskier lets out a laugh that sounds hysterical to his own ears. “Is the idea of being my mate so repulsive that you’d rather let people die?”

Geralt mutters something that Jaskier doesn’t quite catch.

“What was that?” Jaskier advances on him, because he worries that if he’s not standing between Geralt and the door, the witcher will slip off into the night, never to be seen again.

“I can’t sacrifice your well-being,” Geralt grits out. “I won’t. You matter too much.”

Jaskier opens his mouth, a furious reply on the tip of his tongue, before Geralt’s words catch up to him. “What do you mean, my well-being?”

Geralt looks at him like he can’t believe how obtuse Jaskier is being. “In Cintra, you were ready to tie yourself to me for life because I’d made a dumbass mistake. I couldn’t let you give up your life for me.”

Jaskier stares at him. “Geralt, do you think I only asked you to be my mate because of the child of surprise?”

“Didn’t you?”

“No!” Jaskier throws up his hands in exasperation. “I asked you to be my mate because I’ve been in love with you since I was eighteen years old and there’s no one I’d rather spend the rest of my life with.”

“You said you wanted to settle down,” Geralt says. “I know you. You love life on the road. You really want to spend the rest of your life in Cintra?”

“Well, that ship has sailed, as if either of us ever return to Cintra, our lives are forfeit,” Jaskier says. “But yes, if it meant you having a relationship with your child of surprise, I was willing to settle down. But we can be mates without having a cottage somewhere. I’ll be your mate anywhere on the Continent. Why would you think I wouldn’t?”

“Because you never brought it up before Cintra.”

“Because I didn’t think you’d say yes before Cintra.” Jaskier closes his eyes. “I was going to ask anyway. I’d been working up my nerve to ask for the better part of a year. But I was afraid that if I asked, you would panic and run away. I should have listened to my instincts, huh?”

A too-warm hand cups his cheek. “Mating bites are forever, Jask. There’s no spell or potion that can undo that kind of bond.”

“Melitele tits, really? I had no clue.” Jaskier doesn’t have the energy to summon up some proper sarcasm.

“You’ll be stuck with me. Forever.” Geralt sounds pained. “You’re still young. If you ever want a proper omega—”

“Love, you’ve ruined me for all other omegas. I don’t know if I’d know what to do with a proper one.” Thinking of being mated to one of the painfully proper omegas his family has tried to foist on him, Jaskier shudders. He can’t see one of them manhandling him into place to take what they want from him or rolling him over to fuck him as soon as his knot goes down.

Geralt makes a pained noise and Jaskier opens his eyes to look into those honey gold eyes.

“Geralt, I meant every word of what I said in Cintra,” Jaskier says. “I want to be with you. Mated or not, settled down somewhere or on the Path. There’s no one else for me. I don’t think there ever will be. I want us to be a family. And maybe someday, your child of surprise will be part of that family.”

Geralt grimaces and Jaskier surmises that’s a conversation for another time.

“I don’t think of you as something I’m going to be saddled with,” Jaskier continues, lips quirking. “If anything, it’s the other way around. Think of all the songs I’m going to have to write about you if we mate. They will be horrifically sentimental, so I hope you’re prepared for that.”

Finally, the tension in Geralt’s face softens in a smile. “Wouldn’t expect anything less.”

Jaskier leans his forehead against Geralt’s. “Don’t pretend you don’t like it.”

“Hm.” Geralt breathes in deeply. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you alone in Cintra. I just—”

“Panicked?”

“Hm.”

Jaskier swallows back the thickness in his throat. “I could have picked a better time to bring it up. Emotions were already running high.”

“You are a bard,” Geralt says tiredly.

“You’re right. Can’t help but be dramatic, can I?”

Instead of answering, Geralt pulls him close. “Are you sure you want this?”

“I’ve never wanted anything more.”

“Then mate me, Jask.” Geralt’s gaze is piercing, his eyes seeming to bore right into Jaskier’s.

Jaskier smiles at him. “Okay.”

***

This time, when Geralt kisses Jaskier, it’s the easiest thing in the world, as familiar as if the past year never happened. Jaskier smells so godsdamned good, like the subtle, floral cologne he favors, mixed with arousal and the musky scent of alpha that has slick coating Geralt’s thighs and his prick throbbing in his smalls. Geralt pushes him backwards until Jaskier falls back into their nest with a surprised laugh against his lips.

“Darling,” Jaskier says as Geralt crawls on top of him and kisses his way down his neck. “I think I’m supposed to be the one ravishing you. You’re the one in heat.”

Geralt growls and nips at the soft spot under Jaskier’s ear, eliciting a shudder from the alpha. He doesn’t care about who’s supposed to ravish who; he just wants Jaskeir naked and writhing with pleasure under him. He slides his hand under Jaskier’s doublet, fingers trailing over smooth, warm skin.

“Tear it,” Jaskier rasps.

Geralt arches an eyebrow. “You sure?” After the first time he popped a button off one of Jaskier’s doublets during foreplay, he learned to take care with his bard’s clothing.

“This cut is out of fashion anyway.” Jaskier’s eyes are dark with desire. “Tear it.”

Geralt doesn’t need to be told a third time; he crushes the buttery soft silk in his hands and wrenches, tearing the doublet and shirt underneath apart to expose Jaskier’s hairy chest. He takes one nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the peak, reveling in the way Jaskier’s body arches under him. Just to be a bastard, he grinds his his hips down against the length of Jaskier’s erection.

Jaskier lets out a delicious whimper. “Geralt,” he hisses. “If you want me to make it inside you before I pop a knot—”

Geralt growls at the thought of not getting Jaskier’s knot tonight.

“That’s what I thought.” With a breathless laugh, Jaskier tugs at the waistband of Geralt’s pants. “Off.”

Geralt takes as little care getting his own clothes and Jaskier’s breeches off as he did with the doublet. When they’re both naked, skin pressed against skin, he presses a long, languid kiss to his bard’s mouth. He’d like to take his time here and reacquaint himself with every inch of Jaskier’s body, but there’s only so much time before his witcher mutagens burn through the potion and this false heat ends. So he pulls away from Jaskier’s lips and lines his hips up with Jaskier’s.

Jaskier lets out a noise that’s half-gasp, half-groan as Geralt sinks down on his cock without any effort; it feels like his body has been waiting for this for a year. Jaskier feels perfect inside of him and under him. His hands roam over Geralt’s body like he can’t get enough of him, like he’s as eager to reacquaint himself with Geralt’s body as Geralt is to touch every inch of him. As Geralt begins to roll his hips, Jaskier surges up to capture one of Geralt’s nipples in his mouth, his mouth hot and slick. Geralt throws his head back and rolls his hips harder, driving Jaskier’s cock deeper into him.

“Fuck,” Jaskier whispers against Geralt’s chest. “You feel perfect, Geralt. And oh gods, you smell so good.”

Before Geralt can formulate a response, that perfect mouth sucks his nipple back into his mouth and all attempts at intelligent conversation are lost. When one of Jaskier’s hands wrap around Geralt’s aching cock, jerking him in time to the thrust of their hips, it only takes a few strokes for Geralt to come. Jaskier moans against his chest, the thrust of his hips growing erratic. Geralt feels the slight stretch of Jaskier’s knot starting to fill.

Jaskier’s eyes meet Geralt’s and there’s a question there.

“Do it,” Geralt says hoarsely.

Jaskier doesn’t need to be told twice. His thighs shudder with his orgasm, knot swelling inside Geralt, as he buries his teeth in the scent gland, right in the place where Geralt’s neck meets his shoulder. Pleasure-pain explodes inside Geralt as a second orgasm hits him like a wall. It’s too soon, even for an omega in heat, overwhelming in its intensity. Jaskier peppers the bite mark with kisses, laving his tongue over the crescent of teeth marks.

“Oh, love,” he whispers. “Oh, Geralt.”

Geralt closes his eyes and leans his forehead against the curve of Jaskier’s neck. He can feel the grip of the false heat lessening; the potion’s effects are lessening even quicker than he expected.

“Bite me,” Jaskier says.

Geralt looks up at him. “What?”

He told Jaskier once that it used to be common for alphas, omegas, and even betas to have mating bites. Even his mother, an alpha, had a mating bite on her neck, though the omega who gave it to her was long gone. But that was near a century ago and it’s fallen out of fashion for anyone but omegas to have mating bites. He’s surprised that Jaskier even remembers that conversation; it had to be at least five years ago.

“Bite me.” Jaskier’s eyes are hazy with pleasure and soft with affection. “I want everyone who looks at us to know that I’m yours as much as you’re mine. I want them to know that we belong together. I want—”

Geralt sinks his teeth into the soft, musky-scented place where Jaskier’s neck meets his shoulder. Jaskier lets out a gasping little cry, the knot inside Geralt throbbing. Geralt nuzzles at the bite mark apologetically.

“Sorry,” he whispers. “Bit too hard.”

“No.” Jaskier reaches up to touch the bite mark, smiling drowsily. “It’s perfect. You’re perfect.”

Geralt wraps his alpha—his mate—up in his arms and holds him close, breathing in the mingled scents of them. Soon, there will be a katakan to kill. He’ll have to leave the warmth of Jaskier’s arms and go to kill a monster. But he’s not going anywhere with Jaskier knotted inside him, so he closes his eyes and lets himself enjoy his lover’s embrace.

***

Jaskier never likes watching Geralt armor up to go fight a dangerous beast—well, he likes the armor part, the dangerous beast part less—but it’s far worse when Geralt left with Jaskier’s mating bite is still healing on his neck and reeking of heat, sex, and Jaskier. Every instinct in Jaskier wants to go find his omega and drag him back to their nest, where he can keep him bundled safely, far away from anything that might hurt him. 

Jaskier paces the length of the room, his entire body humming with tension. There’s a long night of waiting ahead of him; Geralt hasn’t even been gone an hour and a katakan hunt isn’t going to be a quick, easy kill. He should try to sleep, or at least maybe get some grading done—he brought a stack of student compositions with him for just this purpose. But he can’t make himself stay still for more than a minute or two.

When the door of their room opens, Jaskier whirls around, hand twitching on instinct towards the knife Geralt left with. But it’s Geralt standing in the doorway of the bedroom, looking as unruffled as if he just stepped out to grab a bite to eat.

“You’re back!” Jaskier launches himself at his witcher.

Geralt catches him around the waist, pressing a kiss to the healing mating bite on his neck. “I was motivated to get back quickly.” He kisses Jaskier’s jaw. “Anyway, she wasn’t expecting me to fight back. She didn’t think much of omegas, witcher or no.”

“Is she dead?”

“Very. Corpse is downstairs with Roach.”

“What did poor Roach ever do to you?”

“She’ll bite anyone who tries to steal the body and claim the reward before I go see the alderman in the morning.”

“She is convenient like that.”

Geralt hums in agreement, nuzzling at the sensitive spot under Jaskier’s ear.

“Are you hurt?” Jaskier murmurs.

“No.”

“Actually not hurt, or do you just not want me to fuss?”

“Actually not hurt.”

“Good.” He’s hardly covered in any viscera, so Jaskier tugs him back towards the nest. Geralt comes willingly, shucking his armor off as he goes. Once he’s divested of his armor, he collapses into the nest next to Jaskier, curling around him. Jaskier snuggles into his arms, tracing his finger over the crescent-shaped bite mark on Geralt’s neck.It’s already healing into a scar; Jaskier might have to mark him again to make it stick. The thought sends a pleasant shiver down his spine.

“I was thinking we could stay here another night or two,” he says softly. “Then we can go back to Oxenfurt so I can finish up the term. I don’t have much to do besides teach a few classes, grade some finals, comfort some crying first years. So there will be plenty of time for us to laze around in bed.”

Geralt hums in an agreeable sort of way.

“And then maybe we could head south to Toussaint?” Jaskier asks. “I think we deserve a proper honeymoon, don’t you?”

“Not sure if you and I know how to do anything the proper way.”

“Then we deserve a deliciously improper honeymoon.” Jaskier leers.

Geralt snorts. “I’d like that.”

“Good.” Jaskier melts into his arms, surrounded by the mingled scents of them. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Geralt says, pressing another kiss to the mating bite on Jaskier’s neck.

Jaskier is quiet for a moment, letting them both bask in their togetherness. But he’s never been one to bask in silence, so he says, “You know, it’s the latest fashion in Oxenfurt for mated couples to go about in matching outfits.”

“Is it now?”

“It is.”

“Guess we should get you some armor then. Sure I can find a zeugl in the sewers to dirty it up.”

Jaskier gasps in horror. “I think not. I was thinking you’d look dashing in a nice periwinkle blue, or maybe lavender.”

“No.”

“You’re right. Lavender is too cool for your skin tone. You need a warmer shade. Maybe plum.”

“No.”

“But Geralt, we’re mates! How will people know that we’re bonded for life?”

“Mating bites on our neck might give it away.”

Jaskier sighs dramatically. “I suppose I’m consigned to a life of being hopelessly unfashionable. I’ll be the laughing stock of the bardic circuit.”

“What else is new?”

“You!” Jaskier pokes him in the chest. “We’re supposed to be basking in the joy of our union, you—”

Geralt grabs him around the waist and flips him over. Jaskier doesn’t even realize what’s happened before Geralt is kissing him, his lips curved into a smile against Jaskier’s.

Jaskier lets himself be distracted, reaching up to trace a finger over Geralt’s mating bite. After all, he has all the time in the world to talk his mate into matching outfits.

***

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[gensokyogains]

You knew this job was strange from the start.

You'd been told to make a delivery to Eientei, a simple task of bringing the head of the household a meal. It was a box of doughnuts, simple enough to carry them. Yet, despite the ease of the job, you'd been the only one to take up the easy paying job. Everyone else had some excuse to turn it down, leaving you the only one left to take it.

For some reason, you swore you felt pitying eyes on your back as you left.

The feeling of dread hadn't receded as you'd marched through the bamboo forest, the manor looming through the branches. It was getting late, the moon rising behind Eientei and casting you in it's shadow as you approached. Passing through the empty courtyard, you approached the doors.

The instructions had been clear. You do not need to wait to be greeted. Sliding the paper door open, you step inside. It's deathly quiet, not a single sound from the hall. Looking to your left and right, you glance around until the smallest noise reaches your ears. Too faint to recognize what it was, you nonetheless took it as a sign of habitation and started walking that way.

Drawing nearer, the sound becomes more clear. It's the creaking of wood, as if an enormous weight were pressing down on floorboards again and again. Rounding the corner, you blink, finally face to face with your employer.

To say she was big would be an understatement. You had never even imagined a person could be so hugely obese. Even clad in luxurious robes tailored to her enormity, nothing could hide the sheer volume of space she occupied. Flooding the hallway with her girth, hips grazing the walls either side of her, you watched as she took sleepy steps forward. The creaking wasn't just the slap of her fat feet against the floor, but her belly dragging along it as well, gut hanging so low and so far that it held her up as much as her limbs.

One hand resting on a breast that weighed as much as you did, the other rubbing at her eyes, she peered at you as you stood there dumbfounded. Looking to the box in your hand, she smiled.

"Oh, you must be my delivery."

Before you could gather your wits, the breath left your body as Kaguya stepped forward. Her stomach overwhelmed you immediately, your footing lost as she squashed into you. Covering you up to your chest in heavy flab, you struggled to do anything. Reaching out, she took the box of doughnuts from you. Flipping the lid, revealing at least fifty pastries glistening in the moonlight, she licked her lips.

And deftly fed you one. Cramming it into your mouth, you sputtered, trying to spit it out. Laying the box on her stomach, her free hand reached up to pinch your nose. Suffocating under the doughnut, your only choice was to swallow.

"I'm so glad you got here just in time, I was so bored."

You hack out a cough, and feel your eyes widen. It's impossible to see beneath the flab that Kaguya is pinning you with, but something feels different. Your body feels heavier, and as you glance down at your arms they grow thicker and rounder, wrists gaining new padding as your fingers puff up. Everything about you feels heavier, more plush, and in your shock Kaguya easily feeds you another doughnut.

"I knew they'd deliver me someone cute if I asked~ My usual playthings are indisposed, so I needed a new one to entertain me tonight." She giggles as you start to swell up again, feeding you more and more. "So don't disappoint me~"

You try to fight back, but it's hard. Maybe if you had responded immediately you could have lashed out, but now the lethargy of these strange pastries has settled in. Your arms muster no strength as they fight back, unable to pry Kaguya's hands away from your face. Every bite you take makes them look more and more like her own, and you feel your torso grow heavier. Beneath the landslide of the princess's stomach, your stance grows wider, thickening thighs blowing up and squishing together.

But that gives you a chance as well.

Swallowing down the last doughnut, growing just a bit heavier, you mange to shove Kaguya back with just your weight alone. As she stumbles away from you, her own blubbery body wobbling, you can see more clearly the damage she's done to you. Your stomach sits heavily against your legs, a mound of dough that reaches far enough to round you out, wobbling as you take ragged breaths. With hips reaching out as far as your arm span, the plush side rolls prop up your limbs, forcing your tubby arms to rest at awkward angles at your side. You lumber forward to feel your ass shake, as wide as a wagon as you fight to start moving. Thighs as wide around as trees slap against each other, rubbing harshly as you start to stumble away.

"Hmm~? Where are you going? You haven't even had half of them yet~"

You're slow, as would be expected of someone so outrageously fat, but the living mountain pursuing you is even slower. The gap between the two of you widens, and soon you can see it. The door to the outside. Huffing, tubby cheeks flushed red, you rip open the door and take a step forward. The cool night arm caresses your new blubber, tantalizingly promising safety-

WHUMP!

You blink, wondering why you aren't going anywhere, why you aren't escaping to freedom, when it dawns on you. Looking down, your hands reach to either side of you. Your thick, hanging love handles are wedged in the door, caught between the meat of your hips and the wooden frame. You slap the walls, struggling, huffing and panting as you fight to squeeze, but it's impossible. The amount of girth that stops you from leaving is more than just an inch or two, and no amount of struggle is cramming you past that.

You hear a giggle behind you and your blood runs cold. You feel her enormously soft belly squish into your back, the sensation of two marshmallows pressing on each other as she leans in and drapes herself over you. The frame creaks with the added weight, but to your dismay doesn't break. A tubby arm reaches around your shoulder, force feeding you yet another doughnut as you whimper.

"Dinner and a show~? You're too good at this~ I really want to have some fun with you now~"

You try to scream, to cry, to do anything to call for aid, but you only muffle out a response through a mouthful of pastries before Kaguya drags you back into the mansion, the door to Eientei slamming shut behind you.

[moodymisty]

If I held konrad and pet his head and maybe ran my fingers through his hair then.. well it wouldn’t fix him but it might calm him down for a little while.

Also on a similar note may I request a konrad x reader?

[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕬𝖔3 ]

Author’s note: eepy Konrad, coming right up.

Relationships: Konrad Curze/GN!Reader

Warnings: It’s Konrad Curze, Toxic ‘relationship’, Fear and vague illusions to abuse/threats of violence, I mean you're with Konrad like what did you expect lmao

The sudden sounds of heavy footstep and doors closing jolts you up out of sleep, and you rub your eyes just enough to see Konrad entering the dark room.

He was in another fight, you can instantly tell.

The clothes that Fulgrim had gifted him are disheveled and torn. Blood is dried in the corners of his mouth; His hair is even messier than it usually is. He walks with an awkward gait.

You wonder who it was with this time, as many of the Primarchs have been quite obvious in their unending hatred for him. You can more than understand why, though he doesn't hate them, oddly enough. But their punches do little more than fulfill his own martyring prophesy. Most of them look at him with little more than seething hatred, and you with pity.

“Konrad?”

You whisper hoarsely, still rough from sleep.

He approaches in the near pitch black room, rounding the massive bed. You hear his bare feet on the cold floor, his harsh and ragged breaths.

These moments are some of many that frighten you the most; With Konrad, they could go either way; You have no clue if he’ll snap, and in which way. Sometimes he'll wilt, other times he'll want to make you bleed so he'll forget his own suffering.

The massive bed meant for a man of his size still creaks with effort as he shifts his weight, and flops onto it. In the faint light, it's obvious the blood from his face staining the pillow, and the cuts on his body smearing onto the blankets and your clothes. You can also see him staring off into nothing, lost in thought. He shifts his jaw, and swallows what you presume to be a mix of spit and blood.

Laying on your side you shift upward slightly, leaning on your left elbow. Konrad has no response to your shift in movement.

Some of his hair is stuck to his face, either from blood or sweat, and you take your hand and gently rake it away from his forehead. Your finger glide along through his hair, and you feel his heavy arm pull off the bed and lay over your side, hand laying limp behind your back and holding you down.

You do the same motion again, and again, but you don’t say anything. You won’t risk it. Your hand brushes along his forehead, through his hair, and you can see his eyes shift behind his closed lids.

It’s after what feels like hours does he finally seem to be asleep, and you pull your hand away after tucking a chunk of hair behind his ear. You feel safe enough to sleep again now that he’s lulled, no longer teetering so close to the edge. Both a danger to you and himself. Whatever happened can be dealt with in the morning, or swiftly forgotten among the myriad of other times he's fought with his fellow primarchs.

Shifting off of your elbow to lay back down his arm follows you, still laying over your midsection. It dwarfs your smaller body, covered in a myriad of scars. You're glad he's more comfortable now, but a deeper part of you knows his comfort comes at the expense of your own. Perhaps that's why the other Primarchs pity you so.

You're one of the only things keeping Konrad's feet on the ground, but how much longer can you last?

It only takes moment for you to fall back asleep however, hearing the rare sound of Konrad softly breathing.

[oneheir]

manga spoilers ahead !!

i really wish i could go into depth about izuku’s state of mind but it’s usually quite hard for me to get my thoughts into words without yapping and losing my train of thought. but i’m going to try.

in the last few chapters, we as the audience see izuku sort of close up. he very much tries to keep himself in the background and doesn’t speak up when others do, or when he usually would have.

izuku has always been really good at masking. ever since he found out he didn’t have a quirk, he’s been masking, pretending like everything was fine. he was four. he probably learned quickly that talking about himself or what he felt and thought garnered undesirable attention. he also didn’t want to worry his mother, so he internalized a lot. and because all might was always smiling, he was, too. at least, when other people were around.

we see that he has anxiety and is prone to depression, and as the series progresses he has ptsd. i’m sure he has other diagnoses that i may or may not get into bc i’m writing this on my phone at work.

because he’s so good at masking, people don’t think to check in on him as often. most people don’t really check in on people who seem happy all of the time. we see him trying to reach out to ochako and shouto, and they try to reassure him they’re okay ( they are not ), and in doing so, don’t give izuku a chance to bring up whatever issues he may want to talk about.

of course i’m not saying that izuku isn’t happy or hasn’t been through the course of the manga. of course he’s been happy; he’s made new friends, he’s gotten closer to katsuki again, his teacher is all might. but he’s got the weight of the world on his shoulders and he was fifteen when that weight was placed onto him. he was given a secret so big that it could tip the scale between ‘good and evil’.

and when he realized that being around others as the current user of ofa was a danger to them, he left. he pushed everyone out, even katsuki and all might, who are the two people he’s kept closest to him through all of his ordeals. even though izuku trusts them with his entire being, he would rather face the dangers alone than drag them further into it.

he’d already lost katsuki once when the league took him after the sports festival and all might isn’t in any condition to be fighting. even before he’d given izuku ofa, all might was in no condition to be fighting on a big scale like this. he barely had the time / energy to fight small time criminals.

despite katsuki and the others coming to bring him back, the final battle left izuku feeling lost. even if one headcanons that tenko is saved, that any of the LOV members are saved, the state of the world is in shambles. it still needs lots of time and adjusting to settle. how do you go from fighting for your life, for everyone’s life, to… not. how do you not instinctively move to defend when you hear an odd noise? when someone raises their hand too quickly around you?

it takes a toll on a person, on their soul. izuku’s soul is so much older than he is because of what he’s been through and he’s spent so many years hiding that. spent so many years hiding his true emotions. i think it takes a long time for him to seek out therapy, but he does, eventually. slowly, but surely. it just makes me sad that people don’t see that he also needs a shoulder to lean on. i’m sure it happens during the time skip, but i would have loved to see everyone come together to support each other emotionally and mentally for what they all went through.

again, my izuku doesn’t lose ofa, but it takes a few years for him to be a full time hero. that still takes adjusting to, too.

i think i lost where i was going with this somewhere there. i am just really passionate about izuku and know that he’s more than just the happy hero we have often seen him as. he has a lot of rage when there is injustice or when the people he cares about are in danger. he’s such a well rounded character and it makes me so sad when people don’t see that.

[uruncletobi]

“Jaded” | In which Ilmrae talks down Astarion after defeating Cazador

The return to camp had been unusually quiet. Heavy shoulders, bearing triumphant weapons, and heavier heads ready to meet bedrolls, meant for a few complaints here and there. Apart from that the over all chatter had been diluted with nothing to accompany them but the sound of cicadas whirring in the distance. After quite some traversing, the party had come upon a gentle river. Immediately opting to utilize the source, since the smell of sweat and butchery had hardly become a scent that they enjoyed. The soft crunch of wet stones under hefty boots hit their ears like a warm greeting; rest was not too many steps away now.

As they quickly made way to the water, Ilmrae stood back. It only took a moment before she noticed the footsteps that were treading behind her had halted. The sounds of the forest had not simply drown them out. The drow glanced over her shoulder to the hidden entrance they had discovered just a few moments earlier. There, standing beneath a crest of twisted branches was the vampire spawn, speckles of dried blood still decorating his features. From her distance Ilmrae studied him before approaching. His gaze was fogged over, like the object of his view was somewhere deep beneath the surface they stood on. Hardened lines on his face suggested he was either submerged beneath an onslaught of concerns, or making great attempts to block them out. Of course, it didn’t take his lover to understand how the evenings’ atrocities might have been keeping him. The depths of Cazador’s mansion had been far from a ‘welcome home’.

“Astarion?”, Ilmrae questioned softly, gently lifting his hand in hers. She spoke with a tender ring in her voice. One that suggested her worried thoughts. When Astarion’s eyes finally flicked upward to meet her’s, they were half lidded, and looked heavy like it was taking all his effort to hold them up; to keep his mind presently honed in on her words.

“My love,” She sighed. “Don’t you want to wash this off?”

She cradled his chin in her hand, smoothing off some of the blood. While the other soothed small circles over his knuckles. Round and around, gently holding his attention.

“This is just the first of many last, isn’t it?” There was a breath between every word as if he was understanding each one as it fell from his lips. As the silence between the two of them began to thicken, Ilmrae realized she understood them too. He watched as the others bathed in the sunlight, while he stand in the shadows. The thought was splintering in his mind: What was his life if not trading one muzzle for another? The vampire stepped back, carefully shifting his weight from left to right. The words were pushing behind his teeth, threatening to make a mess of the gentle scene. In a matter of seconds their physical distance had only grown inches, yet somehow Ilmrae suddenly felt worlds apart from him.

“I deserve more than this.” The sentence came out like a clenched fist, what remained of his plaintive expression rapidly devolving into anger.

“I was going to be something better. I had it right in my hands.” The statement was plain but his expression was telling as he gestured to the others, who were now laid up on the bank of the river.

“Tell me darling, where did all my valiant efforts get me?”

The vampire’s words sought to make sure someone was responsible for his pain. And Cazador was dead. Ilmrae finally pinned down that expression of his; red irises whet beneath rigid brows.

“You sound like you’re blaming me.”

“So it seems we’re on the same page about one thing.”

She shook his words off her posture, letting the air fill her lungs completely before responding. She knew he could be harsh, self serving even. The very genesis of their romance was born from his deceit, she understood this well. Given the circumstances, she sought to tread carefully. His anger was not lost on her. However she would not allow him to smother her beneath it.

“You had a choice to make. An inconceivable choice, Astarion. But this is better. You said it yourself.”

Astarion was beside himself, choking on a length of words that suddenly refused to come out. The facade of something greater ached under his skin like a constant reminder; even in death cazador’s grasp was unrelenting. There would never be a moment for the rest of eternity where he would not be reminded of all Cazador stole from him. It was unfair to say the very least. Astarion struggled to hold her gaze. It took everything in him not to turn around and abandon the conversation completely. The life he knew before was rapidly coming to an end, with or without him. There was no ascendent, there was no insurmountable power to hide his fear behind. There was just now. There was just him and her, and the viscera of his anguish splayed out before them.

“I’m not going to pretend to understand what you’ve been through. But I know you now, and I have seen what you’re capable of.”

Ilmrae threatened to close the distance between them as she stepped forward. They were so similar in these ways. She knew him because she knew herself. So no matter how hard he tried, she would not let him be his own undoing.

“You have all of eternity without him in it. It’s time to start over.”

Ilmrae grabbed his hand and began guiding him from beneath the shade of the branches. The sun was still setting on the horizon, covering the forest in a blaze of orange and yellow stripes. Astarion closed his eyes as the warmth flooded his skin. It was heavenly. The feeling divided his mind into halves. One that was allowed him to be wholly consumed by his fate, and the other that could only feel the warmness that surrounded him. Ilmrae watched as his eyes fluttered open and she said nothing. His face was calm, albeit panged with an air of mourning. Astarion was far from acceptance, it would be fair if he never fully allowed any of this to be ‘okay’ in his mind. But for now he was calm.

For now the sun was warm on his skin, and the touch of his lover was warmer still. Astarion had been dead for two centuries and it was finally time to start over.