#so the floodgates kinda opened a lil bit

[amanedachi]

mercury / for a youth with no regrets

Part of LoL Esports Elemental Series.

[moodywyrm]

i just redid my room this week,, and it has me wondering what abby and readers room/apartment would look like !! and if they would have any pets or plants and things of those sorts !!

-🧸

you have just opened the floodgates. I fucking love home decor n decorating shit, I literally went Bonkers when I got to decorate my bedroom in my college apartment.

ok so I drew out a floor plan.

so this is gonna be. a big one. so. jerry spared literally no expense when he got abby her college apartment. sure its one bedroom one bath, but it's got a spacious living room that connects to the kitchen. there's a big ol island in the kitchen where abby got so many stools bc she wanted to fit all of her besties. thinks her washer n dryer are in the worst spot ever, but they're the stacked ones so it isn't as bad as it could be. that lil area next to the patio? her reading spot. she never really knew what to do with the space until she met you, and then it clicked. reading nook. one of your guys' favorite dates was hitting every thrift store you could to find a good coffee table and old armchairs. one green, one pink, one baby blue. she loves them to bits, they're absolutely moving into her next place with her. she literally Made a bookshelf to store all the books you gradually left at her house, and it's become your joint shelf now <3

the sofa is Huge and her dad bought it for her, it's black upholstery. her apartment doesn't have one particular style, just very Abby. I forgot to draw it in but there is absolutely a trophy case in the living room. her medals and old jerseys are on the wall, mixed with your band posters and art prints. her favorite parts are the framed photo graphs of her friends and family, including multiple of you. she specifically picked an apartment with great windows, and this came in so handy when you moved in because the both of you basically have a fucking Jungle of plants. Hanging plants, plant stands, plants on every surface. ur babies. the walls are a kinda neutral white color, nothing super special, but it really doesn't matter when it's covered in so much stuff! plus, you usually have colored lights on (like salt lamps, candles, bluetooth color shifting lightbulbs), that the walls are usually just whatever color you want them to be. the couch is covered in throw blankets, that you brought in. the main living area, bedroom, and closet are all dark oak hardwood-tile, with the softest rugs known to man, especially in the bedroom bc neither of you want to step on ice cold tile in the winter.

the bathroom is a different, simple white tile. the shower has glass sliding doors, that abby absolutely uses to look at u while u shower n vice versa <3 it has a built in tub that u make full use of. the bathroom counter is covered in candles, trinkets, skincare, hygiene products, but all very organized bc it makes abby stress less.

the bedroom. ok. her bed? godly. so fucking comfy. king sized, with the softest sheets ever and the plushest comforter and blankets. satin pillowcases you brought in <3 abby religiously washes her bedding, so it cycles from black to pink to blue every three weeks. the bedroom walls are also covered in art prints and wall hangings, but all of these were picked by the both of you. a lot of it is thrifted or bought from local artists, bc you absolutely drag abby to local craft fairs and the like <3 that chest at the end of the bed holds spare bedding and ,,,, other things ,,,, it is locked. on the wall between the doors to the bathroom and closet is a huge standing mirror, and underneath it is a small table and area for you to do your makeup. gives you top tier fit pics, it is also the mirror abby uses for ,,,, other things. it also! gives u a perfect look at abby while she's working at her desk. above her desk is a huge wall grid/corkboard that she hangs a bunch of shit on. I forgot to draw them in but she also has more bookshelves on the wall across from the bed, specifically four small-medium ones, separated by a dresser that holds a bunch of spare stuff and some of her workout gear that she uses often enough to keep out of the closet.

ok the fun stuff. books fucking Everywhere!!! and cool dishware that you thrifted when you moved in. the kitchen is so well loved and worn in, bc you two love cooking together. the couch is much the same way, well worn n comfortable as all hell, literally one of your favorite spots in the apartment. ur actual favorite spot? the patio. it's beautiful, covered in plants, always burning incense out there, comfortable seating, a beautiful view of the park across the street. u and abby spend your weekend mornings out there, usually bundled up into one big chair while abby dozes and you read, drinking coffee or tea or your preferred morning beverage. the apartment smells so good bc candles and incense and abby's rigorous cleaning. her apartment feels like home for the both of you, carefully curated to be a little sanctuary after long days of classes and practices and just general stress.

this is my magnum opus. I have a problem. I will probably speak more on this.

[the-rxven-king]

Omg! Now I HAVE to know about his near death experience and about his romance! Do you have art of of them!?:)

YOURE OPENING THE FLOODGATES ABOUT MY SON AND I CANT EVEN BE MAD ABOUT IT HONESTLY ILL TALK ABOUT HIM

ill just put the drawings i did of him and his boyf (his name is santana!!! he belongs to my best friend @rosemochii <33 hes also gone through a slight redesign since i last drew him but cest la vie) first

(woof i forgot some of that art is Old rip)

aaaand the rest of my rambling will go under a read more so i dont clog anyones dash

the near death experience

nowell has had!!! many near death experiences in his life!!! but i will talk about the specific one i was referring to in the ask you sent previously.

the background is that nowell comes from the ambrosius-pendragon family - descended from king arthur and merlin themselves, the offspring of their children united. this bloodline is made of strong mages and fighters, who dedicated themselves to monster hunting. one of nowells ancestors ended up hunting down the king of hell and successfully killed him, leaving the throne of hell open for the taking of prince asmodeus. asmodeus, in a fit of pettiness at having all his own plans hed been building towards to take the throne on his own thwarted, vowed to end the ambrosius-pendragon bloodline. so his family is/was hunted to death, and nowell is the only one left rn

so when he was 12, he had been homeless for 6 years in the streets of london and under the care of asmodeus's (former) head executioner, varthron, who had been killed for traitorous behavior (varthron spared nowells life when the rest of his family was killed after finding hed survived) and became a spirit. demonic spirits are extremely rare, as demons dont have souls, but varthron had observed nowell as a young boy and felt so much fatherly love and care for him that it gave him a heart and a soul, so nowells own soul became his bonding object on his death and his spirit remains until he knows for fact nowell is safe from any and all dangers.

the hunters/executioners of asmodeus had managed to locate nowell when he had left the bounds of the city and his scent and presence was easier to track, and they ambushed him in the woods. nowell was attacked, unprepared, and nearly died. varthrons spirit managed to protect him, and varthron even possessed his body by force in order to do first aid on him. it was enough to keep nowell alive and drag him back into the city where he would be better hidden from demonic detection, and after allowed nowell to heal, varthron decided to relocate him and got him onto the first plane he could. he snuck on board, and managed to get all the way from london england to oregon usa.

he still has scars from that attack on his body, tho theyre kinda stretched and what not since hes grown since then obviously.

him and santana (my love my angel my darliiiiiing <3)

and in terms of his romance life!!!! hes been in 3 different relationships but the one i was referring to is sweet darling santana de la rosa, or santana moreno to many since tanas kinda trying to keep his identity on the DL a lil bit. their ship name is moonlit graveyards!!!

hes a vampire tattoo artist, one with a very tragic lil past that he really doesnt like to share (and idk how much I will share, cause idk how much my love my bestie is ok with me sharing FDKJNGJ). hes tries to put on a very chipper, extroverted exterior and likes to have fun, but deep down, mans got a Lot of issues and just covers them up with that optimistic attitude of his. hes like a ray of sunshine to me truly. and to nowell. tho nowell knows him a bit better at this point and knows theres more going on deep down, but even still, hes the sun. hes simply the light and warmth in the dark and cold that nowell needed

they met at a bar while santana was hanging out there and nowell decided that, for once in his fuckin life, hed dress up and go out to get a drink instead of having grocery store shit since hed finished up a very difficult and high paying coding gig. varthron had kinda insisted he treat himself and thats how he decided to do it. so nowell was lookin good lookin hot and when he got his drink, he caught tanas attention!!!

tana came over to nowells table in the back corner of the bar, awkwardly but charmingly asked to sit with him and got nowell a drink, and at varthrons insistence once again since the ghosty Knew nowell had no friends, nowell let him sit. the two got to talking. they got on really well, with one of their main bonding points being over santanas arm tattoos, which is tangled rose vines with a scimitar entangled in them that nowell found to be really pretty. they had flower talk, and they talked about their lives just a lil bit before they flirted with one another and tana took nowell home for what was supposed to be a one night stand. and it was, at first!!! they had an extremely good time and tana treated nowell well in the morning, letting him stay over and making him breakfast before he left, which nowell wasnt used to. the memory of that night stuck with the both of them, but neither had asked for the others number so for a bit there, they were just a fleeting moment they had

that was until nowell decided he wanted to get tattoos of his own about a week or two after, with nowell having designed the tattoos and booking the appointment at the local tattoo parlor. it turned out to be tanas parlor, and tana was actually the one who did his tattoos! they were surprised but delighted to see each other, and talked the entire appointment. they exchanged numbers at the end, and they became friends with benefits real quick. at first, they truly only met for booty calls, but it developed over time to that. from there, they caught feelings for each other, but neither said a damn thing for a lil while. were still figuring out the exact details of stuff, but they do eventually make things official between the two of them!!!

truly they mean everything to me and i could talk about them forever but i shall not. thats the basics of them and know that i would literally give the world for them at the drop of a hat

[limerancy-fics]

anon asked: what r some xiaoven hcs u have? nothih specific just hcs in general

xiao can use all different types of weapons, just prefers to use a polearm

venti didn't actually know how to use a bow and just used the wind to guide his arrows until he got bored one day n learned

in a modern au, venti either swears SO MUCH or not at all n says stupid shit like "golly gee whiz" or "aw, beans!" while xiao says the most vulgar swears w a blank face, very rarely

both of them are kinda enby! venti obvs bc he's a wind sprite n Xiao bc yaksha don't have the same views on gender as humans. they both prefer masc pronouns and whatnot but wouldn't care if they were referred to as smthn else

xiao's beast form is a mix between a red tailed hawk, a golden eagle, and a peregrine falcon (built for speed, endurance, and tight mid-air maneuvers, with amazing sight and hearing and great hunting instincts. also fucking huge compared to birds frm teyvat) →xiao is from the yaksha realm, which isn't connected specifically to teyvat and therefore he's slightly different than the illuminated beasts FROM teyvat

the canon personality we see from venti is also an act/mask—the verbose, eloquent, rhyming couplet poet who is almost flippant—as a way to distance himself n not get hurt by what ppl say abt him →he's actually more rambling, anxious, and sensitive than we first see

xiao is older! venti came into being shortly b4 meeting NB, while xiao was with that evil god fr a bit b4 morax found him, during the war →yaksha age slowly, then once they reach maturity, their appearance is a choice; for xiao, it's based off his perception of himself, which is partly why he changes when he has the mask on, why he looked a bit younger, and why he became baby xiao in chap 25 of waidty

venti's usually the one who initiates physical affection in the beginning, but once xiao gets comfortable and assured venti is staying, it's like the floodgates are opened in he's constantly touching venti—kisses, hugs, hand on his waist or back, holding hands, hand in his hair, hiding his face in venti's shoulder or hair or back or neck when he's overwhelmed

xiao gets easily overwhelmed!! he's not used to so many things happening all at once or so many ppl talking n whatnot, so it's sometimes a lil too much fr him to handle, and this is when he clings to venti n just tries to block it all out

venti's love languages are (showing) physical touch, words of affirmation, and quality time while xiao's are gift giving, acts of service, and quality time. receiving, venti prefers words of affirmation (mostly bc he knows xiao's genuine when he says those things), quality time, and acts of service; xiao's are words of affirmation (he likes to be praised 😏), physical touch (from venti exclusively), and quality time (so they're p perfect for each other :'])

theyre kinda obsessed w each other LMAO. they're that couple that are like. clinging to each other 24/7 n do almost everything together

venti absolutely knew what he was doing when he played for xiao in the marsh. i feel like he's too smart n too purposeful in his actions to do it by accident

animals and other various creatures just LOVE both of them. wild animals, slimes, birds, hilichurls will follow venti around to listen to him play. if xiao sits in one spot long enough, relaxed, he will just slowly get swarmed by animals trying to cuddle w him (or wind sprites 🥺)

venti likes xiao's scars, bc they're proof that xiao is alive n survived terrible things n is probably going to survive more things, n xiao is able n willing to fight to continue to live, no matter the injury, so it's reassuring to him

xiao's handwriting is rlly neat, like typed out sort of exact, while venti's is either rlly elegant and flowy or extremely messy (when rushed) n even he can't read it sometimes

venti's aesthetic is all over the place n he will literally wear almost anything, while xiao is either like. pastel vaporwave/holographic, modern traditional, or eboy n there's no in between

venti's a lot less impulsive than he seems, his brain just works super fast n he can think thru n decide on something within seconds (unless it has to do w personal relationships, then he starts having anxiety n overthinking :/)

venti can cook, xiao can bake

venti smart. venti so smart. venti top of the class n he does it w seemingly no effort (xiao is one of the other students vying for that spot n creates a one-sided rivalry bc he's frustrated w venti's lack of work ethic when he studies so hard to get where he is) (venti just thinks they're flirting)

venti and xiao both have eclectic music tastes, but venti moreso. xiao is either entirely soft music, or the hardest shit you've ever heard n no in between. venti will listen 2 anything, bc he finds merit in all genres n forms

venti's v colorful on the outside, but his internal view is very dull after he loses his brother/NB—this is why he is reckless and adventurous, bc he's trying to find smthn that will bring back color to his life. xiao, on the other hand, has a very colorful internal landscape—this is what created the idea for synesthesia!xiao (also bc i just think it's neat) (i like the idea of contrasting yet supplementary characters like this)

xiao is either so tech savvy or old man. venti is average either way—knows enough to get around, maybe a bit more than others, but nothing too crazy

venti n xiao both love all animals—if one is to rowdy or loud tho, it can be a bit too much for xiao

venti prefers playing games like minecraft (peaceful/creative mode), stardew valley, animal crossing, slime rancher, etc

venti rlly likes plants n has a surprisingly green thumb

xiao knows how to sew/knit/crochet

anon asked: do u have anymore just like general xiaoven hcs?

this is explored a bit in chap 35 but: venti doesn't rlly go all out or asks that his highest scores during windblume games don't get recorded! he likes playing the games, but he also knows he has an edge over everyone bc he has a lot more practice so he holds back to let other ppl have a chance at the prizes (n usually refuses them unless they're Mora sdkfjnask)

i don't think venti is rlly very touchy w ppl! i think his personality/persona creates the illusion of closeness n ppl don't realize how distant he actually is until they rlly think abt it

venti doesn't rlly take credit fr his songs or ballads or poems. as long as it gets out there n someone likes it, that's enough for him

i think some ppl just...don't even realize they've known venti fr half their lives n he's always looked the same. like "yeah! that's venti! he's mondstadt's favorite bard—i remember hearing him play when i was a ki—WAIT. THAT WAS FIFTEEN YEARS AGO."

xiao is actually very sentimental, he just refuses to admit it (this isn't even rlly a hc i think it's just canon asnfjasnd)

xiao has a near perfect memory, unless his mind has specifically blocked certain things from his past. venti's memory is also p good! but i don't think he remembers almost literally everything like xiao does (he could recite word for word conversations he had a thousand years ago)

venti rlly likes candles! once they start living together, he has to bring xiao w him to get them, bc xiao can be sensitive 2 smells n venti wants to make sure he doesn't make xiao uncomfy

venti hogs all the blankets but xiao doesn't mind as long as he gets 2 hold venti or be near him

venti is rlly flexible! →xiao enjoys and takes advantage of this frequently 😏 →xiao is also very flexible, so venti does the same 😏

xiao actually takes very good care of his body in modern aus—he eats well and exercises. the only thing he can't do is sleep (unless he's with venti)

venti likes to read! all kinds of books, including nonfiction! xiao does read, but not as much

[deerestapologies]

Diluc and gift giving

This went off the rails a bit lol

Diluc trying to be low-key about buying you things, but accidentally just flexing that he is in fact one if the richest people in Mondstadt

Unintentionally being a sugar daddy cause he just likes to surprise you with things and the way you reciprocate (a little bit of flaunting - "look! My darling got me this! Isn't it just gorgeous!!" - and flustered thank yous - "oh! Oh wow! You didn't need to do that, I - oh darling, it's gorgeous, are you sure? You're gonna spoil me rotten.") just makes his heart sing.

A big factor is that you never actually ask for anything, and you make efforts to prove to him (and others) that you're with him because you love him, not for petty things like money

The problem is, that just makes him want to do more for you

He is a closed off person, when he's not pretending to be the most chill and charming guy around

He is irritable, kinda cold, and calculating

But anyone who knows that truth also knows that it's like all of his heavy burdens melt away when he's with you

He's a different kind of charming, still a gentleman and stoic, but you soften him

He gets flustered and distracted, smiles more, and seems to have truly infinite patience for you, going so far as to neglect other duties to spend time with you

Him and his closest confidants know you are sincere and possibly the love of his life, but he never stops you from trying to reciprocate because he thinks your antics are cute

Whether you try to buy or make him something in return, or do him favors, or shower him with affection, he soaks it in like a cat in the sun

Your genuine love had felt so strange and new at first, and he kept waiting for a catch, but eventually he learned to trust you and has been addicted to your attention since

That's a big part, he wants you to look at him, you're kind and well loved by many (and he would never begrudge you for being who you are buuuut) because you never cared about his status or his money and treated him like everyone else you were already one of his favorite people, and then when you started dating

And he found out that he didn't just think you were a commendable person but also funny and cute and kind to a fault and insecure in weird ways and he just wanted to scoop you up and give you all his love???

It was strange for him at first but when you reciprocated his level of dedication and affection (even if he only ever showed it, and never said it) it was like the floodgates opened

All his years of forcing himself to be independent and untouchable stopped mattering around you

He doesn't become a new more open person, but he no longer hides all of his emotions behind walls

You are his favorite person and his closest friend

Even if you have different interests, the fact that you support him in all his endeavors (even the Dark Knight ones) and hobbies and business ventures makes you his perfect partner

And he does his best to show you that constantly

(he does more than just give you things though, in private he is physically affectionate and verbal about his love for you, but the gift giving is his equivalent of PDA)

The things he gets you range anywhere from some wildflowers he thought were pretty, to a necklace that cost as much as a house

Unless you are there when he buys/finds it, he tries to give it to you in private

Mostly cause he's still a discreet person and doesn't enjoy that chatter that happens anytime he does literally anything in public

Also cause most of the time there's plenty of kissing and hugging and he really isn't comfortable doing that in public

(he always wants to kiss you, but that's beside the point)

When you wear the things he has given you, even if it's just tucking a flower behind your ear, it pleases the lil possessive streak he has

Not cause he wants to own you or anything, but because he is unreasonably in love with you and you proudly displaying the things that show you are in a relationship with him???

Incredible

[transhoverfish]

What are everyone's "abilities" in Survivors? Ryley has good hearing and Milo glows but what do the others have?

!!! YOU HAVE ASKED ME ABOUT MY AU !!! THE FLOODGATES OF YELLING HAVE OPENED!!

OK SO. as u mentioned ryley has good hearing and milo glows. basically,

ryley = good hearing

milo = glowy boy

emily = electric detection (cooler than i describe rn my vocabulary is small)

danby = like emily's but reverse. controls electromagnetic things

roman = night vision

jochi = the most superpower like one, he got quick regeneration.

avery = telepathy!

bart = also kind of telepathy but more like future telepathy. he has future vision.

and i. never thought of one for ozzy actually and at this point i have no idea what to give them that wouldn't have been brought up prior so. u know genetics are weird! they just dont have anything ig. nobody look at me LABDKABDLABD

AND ALSO paul and marg have powers! paul got that peeper enzyme carrier thing, and marg got the very funny power of feeling others emotions. yes that includes the fish. yes this is one of the primary reasons she didnt kill paul over a decade of dealing w him. yes she hates it.

and the vesper haven't been sick long enough to develop anything! or at least thats what im going with bc i havent thought of anything for them yet 😔

AND NOW: LONGER EXPLANATIONS. IM GONNA GET CARRIED AWAY SO ITS UNDER A READ-MORE.

first off on the list: bart! so bart.. kinda has futuristic visions?? but the things he sees are not set in the stone,, as in if he dreams about smth (a lot like ryley can!) it is possible to change those events! most of these visions/telepathy type stuff were bc of the emperor and warpers, and also al-an! once the sea emp died and the warpers all calmed down his powers kind of go away a bit. i think i wrote al-an sort of mentioning it in one chap of awa?? but its only kind of implied. so he has rlly similar powers to avery except he can't tell what others are thinking and he can only kind of tell how his closest friends r feeling. so right now bart pretty much doesn't have powers! he can communicate w the warpers and sea emps much easier than the others tho (he's the only one that can talk to warpers! im not sure he'd get along w them after being hunted down by them for like 12 years though KABDLSBRLSHD)

avery has telepathy! this is because when he first shows up he jokes about having telepathy and i was like "haha. WAIT." and then he got telepathy! i realize its a bad idea to not come up with their powers until as im writing but uhhh well. i never said i was a fantastic writer who's smart. KANROSHROSBF.

he also kind of had marg's empathy ability but wayyy dialed back. he can only tell how other humans are feeling and he can only vaguely understand it as opposed to feeling the emotions himself like marg does. so he can kind of tell how others are feeling and he can tell what theyre thinking about! unless of course for plot convince he can't. strong emotions, especially strong negative emotions (ie. fear) can overwhelm him and makes his powers stop working. and if someone is convinced they're right then he wont b able to tell they're lying/hiding something! yay plot convenience!!

roman has night vision. i have no way of making this sound cool he just straight up can see really well in the dark. like a cat. most of the powers were based off where they originally landed and what would help them in that area! and roman landed in the sparse reef, which is so dark all the time i cry thinking about it. so he has night vision! his poor eyesight is probably all kinds of fucked up now tho.

jochi has regeneration abilities! now i know this might sound a bit much but he just heals from cuts and stuff faster and like. he bones heal fast. and he's more likely to survive smth that might usually kill someone, but its like a 10% higher chance of living nothing too much. he doesn't rlly get scars as much as the others, and its healed his old ones a bit more! this is by far the most unrealistic power of them all, but ya know its alien fish planet game who cares. basically bc his life support systems failed his spine got all fucked up and he got infected faster bc he was barely alive for the first few days and spent a lot of time w bart who was looking after him. power helped fix his back, but he still has a rlly bad limp and pretty much constant pain. big mood there khasar 😔✊

emily can detect electromagnetic waves! works best underwater. kind of like ryley's, but instead of hearing noises she can only hear anything electric, like vehicles or ampeels or heartbeats. gets all fucked up during thunderstorms though sadly. she's the only other one that can kind of hear warpers and can tell when ones about to warp around but she cant actually talk back to them. pretty sick if u ask me tho.

danby has p similar powers to her bc ampeels also spawn in the bulb zone. except he can sense them at a much smaller distance, cant hear warpers, and can control the waves around him! mostly just his own tho. so like, he can quiet his heartbeat or make it stop all together. scary power that he does not know how to control. uh oh. but he can also control other creatures a bit! he's very good at hiding bc of this, which is nice bc he loves to hide from scary things. very big mood once again.

milo is glowing powers! looks a lot like the transparency of a ghost levi or a crabsquid, although he isn't as see through as them. you can def make out like veins but not bones or organs. his powers are activated by touch, the more force behind will create more glow and more transparency! a poke = goes away within a few seconds, a slap = stays for a minute or so. instead of bruises, he just glows until the bruise would normally go away. he's basically a living glowstick. i have another joke for this but i cannot physically convince myself to type it bc its some shit emily would say to him and i cannot embarrass him like that LABDLABDKABAKD

andd ryley's super hearing! can hear basically everything within a mile radius at all times. im bad at math and i don't know the metric system but i think that's like around 1k meters. wait does the metric system use mile already. no. ONCE AGAIN NEVER SAID I WAS SMART.

OK ANYWAYS back on track! this means he can hear about half of the crater at all times. he's gotten p good at blocking out background noise and anything far away. typically only hears everything within like 300 meters of himself. so when he does get back to just hearing everything its like. u ever take out headphones in a busy place and everything kinda hurts for a few seconds bc its so much noise. yeah like that but 500x worse. he's able to concentrate on specific areas within this 1 mile field but if its far away it fucks him up good for a lil while. sorry ryley :(

and then the other two degasi! as mentioned before, paul can carry enzyme like the peepers, but he also can kind of make some himself! only small amounts and it works a bit less than the peeper enzyme does. he does not have to cough it up though thankfully it just like. idk how to describe this idea it can just kind of leave through his skin?? he has like no control over his power at all it just kind does its own thing and he deals w it. this is primarily how he and marg survive for so long w/o dying to kharra!

and finally marguerit! highly empathetic abilities that allow her to feel the emotions of anything around her! i thought it would be funny as hell to give MARGUERIT of all ppl Big Emotion Disease. this is a big reason why she has had yet to murder paul and why she's a lot less murderer like in the au. its hard to kill someone if you. you know. can feel exactly what they are. probably the reason she adopted Dog Bart/Legally Preston Emotionally Not. saw sad puppy and felt too bad to leave him. like paul, she has basically no control over it and is one of the reasons she does NOT want to go back to the survivors base and be around so many other ppl, she'd be feeling like, 13 ppl's emotions at one time. all these powers have fucked up drawbacks dont they??

once again sam, robin, jeff, maxim, and ozzy are (for now at least) not gonna have any powers! mutations are weird and ozzy just didn't get anything, and the vesper haven't been sick long enough for any yet!

OK THATS ALL. HOLY SHIT SORRY FOR YELLING FOR 15 MINUTES. GOT CARRIED AWAY. hopefully that explains everything tho OABEOABROANRJS OK BYE MY PHONE IS ALMOST DEAD

[cloudyyangel]

no worries i took breaks (@^0^@)/ i had some things i needed to do but since my schedules a bit more packed soon i figured id relax while i could u kno? and im sad to hear u didnt get to take ur nap :c i hope getting ur stuff done felt good at least! i had some peach icecream earlier so i feel u on the wanting a snack 👀 and its hot here too! but getting better and the air conditions on so high i can wear a sweater. i overheat real easy but like wearing layers so its not a good combo! but im hydrated as HELL so i got that going at least (did u drink enough water today?)

but yeye interacting with u is a good energy boost for me too! its really fun to just get to go YEYE IM A PUP YEYE and of course u already kno i like being called cute. i actually had to take a little break when reading ur response cause i got too excited 😅. had to happy stim for a bit to just, woo get it outta my system. when i get in affectionate moods like this it can be a bit hard to process u kno? but ty for talking to me! and letting me do my thing!!! i am, very much fixated on the mental image of whatever a koala hug is. is it like wrapping around someone as much as u can? i might talk a big game but gimme enough affection and ill get real shy and just squeeze reaaaaaaaaaal close to hide my face. Ur the kinda size that makes hugs feel real good and safe so I'm glad ur starting to feel good abt that. Self confidence is a journey and I hope we all get where we wanna be❤

-puppy anon whos got an extra big long message for u cause u encouraged me so the floodgates have been OPENED, yippy pup! talkative pup! affectionate pup! BARK BARK

I’m putting this under a read more cause it got kinda long ehehe ｡:ﾟ૮ ˶ˆ ﻌ ˆ˶ ა ﾟ:｡

I understand, its important to take breaks when you can! I hope you don’t get too overworked if your schedule will be packed soon! I have this weird ‘relax’ time where I feel like I need to be preparing for work but also feel like I should gather my strength. So I’m always conflicted over it ૮˃̵͈᷄ \\ ა Oh! Peach ice cream sounds amazing!! I really like fruit ice cream- my favorite is pineapple popsicles! 🍍 Haha, I like wearing layers too. Even though it’s super hot here I find myself just constantly wearing a hoodie and shorts and lying in front of the fan. I really want to live somewhere a bit colder- or at least a place that has all four seasons. Here, it’s just hot hot hot rainy rainy hot maybe cool then hot again. Bleh. Yep, I drank a lot of water today. I have to because every time I go outside I melt a little bit haha (‘～`;)

Aw 🥺 that’s so so sweet that you feel that way when reading my messages. Like that makes me feel good so thank you so much. Your energy is so great, I’m just matching yours! But yeah, just do/say whatever makes you comfortable. I’m really easy-going and just want to make sure people are feeling their best. (*^▽^*) Hahaha a koala hug is like...she wraps her arms and legs around me and just hangs there. Like a piggy back ride, except she likes to hang off the front hahaha. I agree about the self confidence journey- mine has definitely been up and down and backwards haha. I’m not only tall but also chubby too so it’s like...the complete opposite of what I should be according to society ehehe ^^; Hearing things like that have helped me in that journey; just when friends compliment my size due to hugs, cuddles, or just helping them get something off the top shelf ehehehe. ( ˃̶ω˂̶ ૃ) Oh oh oh! That sounds so sweet that you get shy! I wouldn’t want you to hide your face!! It’s always super cute when someone gets all blushy and embarrassed over things like hugs and kisses and little praises (which I looove to give)~ you’re such a sweet lil pup!! ૮ ’ﻌ｀ა

[lunebinnie]

(1/11)Oh my gosh yesss I'm glad that you like long messages too because I talk way too much 😂 (And yeah about my friend and just hanging out w/ her more that's exactly what I was thinking 😂) It's actually kind of funny bc just yesterday I was hanging out at her house and her younger brother needed to go to Walmart and I was like 'I've been meaning to go to Walmart, I'll take you' and ofc since I have a bluetooth radio adapter the whole drive I had my Spotify going with some quality k-bops, lol

2)And as we were driving I noticed him kind of jamming and I was like 'Oh my god Mickey do you actually like this???' And he was Like 'yeah, these are some good bops 👍' I was shooketh. I had to go home before I had the chance to show him any music videos but he says he's open to watching some with me next time I see him. One way or another I'm going to turn someone in my social circle into a kpop fan you mark my words ☝ and then maybe we can team up and try to work on his sister some more 😂

3)I only started first getting into kpop last June so I'm still very new, but it's definitely super frustrating how so many ppl act like it's an inherently bad or cringey genre of music just bc it's kpop! The stigma is ridiculous! I also started out with BTS (lol) and since they're pretty popular in the US at least I was able to be like 'See, this isn't just a niche thing, lots of people know abt and like this group' but of course my dad still says 'Just cause it's popular doesn't make it good'

4)And I'm like? You're a band teacher, you of all people should understand that music doesn't have to be in your native language (or even have lyrics) in order for you to enjoy it, but go off I guess... It's the same with one of my college friends. They make fun of me for liking kpop but this is coming from some who still treats March 22nd (the day My Chemical Romance broke up) as a day of mourning. Like, no tea no shade no pink lemonade, MCR was a good band nothing wrong with liking them.

5)But like if you're 22 and you still haven't grown out of your emo phase do you really have room to pick on other people for their music taste?  🤷 Anyway that's the person who follows my main that I didn't want to know I had a kpop sb. I think I made it around July. Tbh it was pretty dead for most of 2018. But like I said I've started using it way more since I recently revealed that it exists, lol. Especially since that good good Astro cb 👏💗😩 But honestly Astro is such a blessing

6)Idk how I lived so long w/o them. When I first got into kpop I was planning on just sticking to BTS since the reaction to me being into kpop was so volatile. I was like 'I'm only into one group, ppl already are negative about me liking kpop so I'm just gonna stick to this and not become a full on multifandom fan' and then in Nov I accidentally let myself fall in love with Monsta X and that plan was foiled. And realizing I wasn't gonna be able to stick to just one anymore opened the floodgates

7)And I was like okay in that case, let's just start getting into *all groups* Lol. My story of getting into Astro was actually bc of my best friend's roommate (can you tell I have like one friend and my whole social circle kinda revolves around her? Lol) so this roommate when she heard me being sad about having no kpop friends was like 'oh hey, I'm kinda into kpop' and it turns out she didn't like very many groups and was one of the ppl who blah blah BTS is overrated, which ya know isn't ideal8)But I was just really desperate to have someone to talk about kpop with. And Astro was her favorite so I was like, okay I'll get into them so that I have something to talk about with her! So I started watching some videos and I fell in love with them pretty much instantly! And I was real excited bc #1 now I can talk about kpop with someone! And #2 this group is actually amazing? Bonus! ... And then they got in a big fight about their living conditions and the roommate ended up moving out RIP

9)So that didn't work out, lol (Your story about finding them during that internship sounds amazing though! Haha) But yeah, so this is my first cb too! And although I love them w/ my whole heart and would have loved to have them in my life even sooner what an amazing cb to be your first! The concept was wonderful, the album was excellent, the visuals were to *die* for. They worked so hard and I'm so proud of them and I'm so happy we got to see their work come to fruition and get them a win 🤧🤧

10)The dance practices though? You're so right omg 💗 Me and my Rocky bias *fully* understand 😂 All of them are such good dancers?? I never fail to be impressed. Of course you know who I always end up watching tho 👀 lol (̶i̶f̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶h̶a̶l̶f̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶t̶y̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶R̶o̶c̶k̶y̶'̶s̶ ̶f̶o̶o̶t̶w̶o̶r̶k̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶a̶l̶m̶o̶s̶t̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶t̶y̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶e̶y̶e̶s̶.̶.̶.̶)̶ ̶ I also love how at the end they always pause all dramatic for a minute and then start screaming 😂

11)It's like? Amazing talent *and* dorky personalities? What more could you ask for? Lol. In regard to your last question though Unfortunately I also won't be able to see them 😔 I live in the smack middle of the US and since they're only going to coasts all of the venues are way too far away to get to. Esp since it's the school year and I can't skip class to drive cross country for a concert much as I'd like to (Holy lord I talked over twice as much?? Why am I like this?) Talk again soon! -ASA

Okay SO I’m very sorry I haven’t had the time to answer everything until now bc I’ve been busy studying for midterms and also I was a lil trashy today since my uni closed bc of freezing rain so I slept in but I’m glad that FINALLY everything got sent like damn tumblr you really don’t want us making friends huh. 

Yessssss I love the feeling of seeing someone else also get into the same interests! I’ve been pretty lucky in the sense that I grew up around mostly other asian americans, so kpop was never something that was considered super “weird,” like some people were into it and some weren’t but even if you weren’t you still would’ve been familiar with the more popular groups from when you were younger. Even now, I have a bunch of friends also into kpop (one of them is even my roommate) so tbh I was definitely the one in my friend group late to the party aha. Even my university hosts kpop nights at our bar and I’m pretty sure we have a kpop dance team as well? So tbh if I met someone new there’s probably like a 50% chance they’re into kpop or at least listen casually. 

Tbh I used to be a little bit judgy too but moreso because of the obscene amount of money I’ve seen some of my friends spend (no joke one of my friends has spent probably like $500+ on Loona stuff in the past month and a half and another friend bought like 5 copies of the same album for herself like damn idk how do you have that much money).

I also really don’t like it when people bash other people’s music tastes, since I feel like it’s something so personal? Idk but for a long time I used to be really self conscious about sharing my music with other people and even now I feel like that sometimes. For me after getting into BTS I kind of expected to get really into other groups since I was in Korea anyway and I was already listening to a lot of other artists casually. For me it started with NU’EST (fell for them immediately at the same concert that I saw Astro at) and then after was Astro, and then I just started slowly getting into other groups after that (even though I haven’t totally been able to get into Got7′s music they’re SO funny and I just kinda fell for their personalities  you know). 

I honestly think that they did such a wonderful job with this comeback too! I like seeing their concept evolve and mature but they’re not straying too far from their original cute concept so I feel like it’s a nice middle ground that’s very unique to them, you feel? Also I feel like the visuals especially and the execution of the whole plant concept was just done so well?? Even my friend who’s not in kpop was like “k idk who they are but that was the prettiest music video I’ve ever seen”. What are your favourite eras and songs? For me I’d have to say either the Spring Up or Baby era BUT right now my favourite song is probably Again/Should’ve Held On though tbh my mood and my tastes change like every few weeks loool. 

I have no idea why I tend to be most attracted to the dances rather than vocals or rap (maybe has to do with the fact that it’s something I’ve always wished I could do but have always been bad at lmao). But Astro’s stood out to me for the exact same reason! I just thought it was so funny seeing them all break character at the end because you really get to see how hard their choreos are and you get a glimpse of their personalities like damn, how can you not stan these dummies?

That’s really unfortunate that you won’t get to see them either :/ They’re also coming to the closest city to me but it’s on a Tuesday, but I *hypothetically* looked up flight prices and tried to see if I could get away with just missing a day of classes if I flew back in the middle of the night since I have some friends who did the same thing and drove down to Buffalo but I seem to have underestimated the size of New York State LMAO. But apparently my university’s too far from the airport so it’s “not realistic” (and also I’m hella broke from travelling to Taiwan and Japan while I was in Korea but that’s a minor issue ig). I hope we do both get a chance to see them live though! Who knows, after the success of this comeback I’m expecting a lot more cbs and world tours out of them ;)

[briteboy]

what does "this chapter" mean?? how long until the next post?? im on the edge of my seat!!

omg it honestly doesn’t mean anything, it’s just how i split up the different stages of the story, usually including something big at the end. (the one before this had the ‘finale’ of santi and lou kissing, before that the ‘finale’ was kinda santi getting called out and finally deciding to let down his walls for lou...before that it was the floodgates opening and hurricane molly making her entrance to the story lmao) i guess if i had to estimate how i categorize “chapters”, each separate one is dictated by santi’s hair color LMAO. that makes it easier to understand. so we just got done with the “blue” chapter.

i’m taking a short break to write out this next part and face the hell that is my messy mods folder, but i do have two lil scenes in the making. i’m still gonna let u sweat it a lil bit tho 😉

[jodiwalker]

The Bachelorette Recap: Hometowns, Where Everyone’s a Loser

Oh man, The Bachelorette is really on one this season, huh? First the rise of feces-and-coded-language personified, Lee. And now the purposeless televised exploitation of human Cockapoo — if Cockapoos could be hot like when Robin Hood was an animated fox — Dean. What gives?!

Oh, I know what gives. They hired a black Bachelorette after 100 years of marshmallow fluff in the shape of Brad Womack (twice!) and now they think they can just be shitty about every single other thing. Let's be clear: nothing good was ever going to come of Dean bringing Rachel home to his estranged family. I think we all remember Des — well, no one remembers Des, who had zero hand tattoos, but we definitely remember Des' brother who had all the hand tattoos, and a limitless determination to ruin his sister's love life.

Dean's dad doesn't seem to want to ruin Dean's love life; in fact he attempts to make it clear in a number tones ranging from "formal compassion" to "barely suppressed rage" that he supports Dean dating Rachel if it makes them happy. But he also doesn’t seem particularly interested in affording his son any happiness that might have anything more directly to do with him. I don't love calling a man I don't know selfish — but being selfless is kind of the main qualifier for being a parent, and Dean's dad is definitely not that, so I'm just working in antonyms here.

Also, I'd probably break a champagne bottle over Aspen's highest mountain and fight anyone who made Dean's eyes sparkle with anything other than the prince-like wonder generally twinkling around in there, so yeah. What likely started as Dean's father trying to be generous to his estranged son quickly went south because the two haven't had a relationship since Dean's mother died, and everyone in Dean's current reality TV world told him this one night, surrounded by cameras and exactly zero licensed psychologists, would be a good time to address that. I can understand that Dean's father wouldn't have appreciated inviting all these strangers into his home and sharing his mungbeans with them, and then having his son remind him that he emotionally abandoned his kid when he needed him most…

But he did! Both the emotional abandonment and allowing these ABC monsters into his hime. The truly confounding part lies in exactly how The Bachelorette convinced any of these people that this was a reasonable thing to do, especially Rachel who seems dead set on meeting Dean's father even though Dean had just told that his dad was "not a person who has any bearing on my emotional experience."

Well look alive baby boy, because you're about to have one seriously emotional experience. But first! The boyfriends who weren't manipulated by TV love into a familial trauma…

Eric

Oh hello, Eric, nice to meet you, where the hell have you been? Seeing Eric in his hometown of Baltimore was like stumbling across some guy on Instagram that you were in a few college classes with and being like…Wait, was he always this hot and I just never noticed?? Shut up, is he coaching a little league team in that picture?! I wonder if he's seeing anyone. Does he live near me? Would he be open to starting our relationship long-distance? I'd always thought I'd want a summer wedding, but January could be really luxurious. Omg, I could wear a fur stole! One day I'll pass it down to our daughters. I'm so thankful I found a monogamous life mate in Eric; I feel God in this Lo-Fi filter today.

Those are the kinds of leaps I made during Eric's 20-minute segment. Whereas pretty much everybody else came out of their hometowns looking less appealing — excluding for Dean who I just wanted to wrap up in one of those emergency blankets they give out at marathons — Eric came out of his Hometown suddenly possessing a lovely and fun personality, with a family to match. Now if he can just ditch all those wispy scarves he likes to wear and keep smuggling his broad ass shoulders into laid back Canadian tuxedo, we could have ourselves a winner.

I mean…Eric won't win. But still, I want him to marry Rachel and get a spinoff about their families that would force Bachelor Nation to watch not just one, but many different black people on television from not just one, but many different backgrounds, with no Lees in the mix whatsoever. And that show would, of course, be called: Aunt Verna's Variety Show and Also Rachel and Eric Are Here.

I loved Eric's hometown. The turn from his openness about growing up in a family where many of the men were "successful in the streets" and the women had to be extra strong as a result, to Rachel being enveloped in a screaming cloud of hospitality and love when meeting said family was, frankly, heartwarming — a platitude I do not use lightly. I was full on Grinch'in it for most of Rachel's visit to Baltimore.

Yes, a lot of my love for this family had to do with his one aunt's head-to-toe daytime rhinestones, but also, with every conversation Eric had with one of his family members it became clearer that this is a family that has been through tough times with each other, but has put in the work to be able to understand the challenges one another have faced. All that mature familial growth just felt so hopeful. Put a pin in that thought…

Now, may we PTL for Aunt Verna who finally put in text what The Bachelorette has been just begging us to read in subtext all season: as spells it out, "R-A-C-E." That blonde pixie! That tunic! That moxie! I die! Aunt V is all, Soooo, Rach. Being the first black Bachelorette—that must have been a lot of pressure. And as though not one producer ever thought to ask Rachel what the implications were for her of being the show's first black Bachelorette (perhaps they were too busy screaming, We did it! We ended racism! Right here on ABC!) Rachel's tiny lil' floodgates open and she says, indeed, "It's a lot of pressure because you're judged by two different groups. I'm getting judged by black people and I'm getting judged by…everybody else."

This is a feeling that Rachel has alluded to exactly once before and she immediately cut herself off. Would Aunt Verna, perhaps, like to be paid one bajillion dollars to take over Chris Harrison's job? Suddenly, all of Rachel's comments about "in this position, I have to [be selfish] to get what I really want" carry a much heavier weight. Rachel says "I want love and love doesn't have a color, so my journey for love shouldn't be any different than the other 12 Bachelorettes in front of me." That's right Rach! You go and choose you a kinda smarmy guy with tall hair, stay engaged to him for two years, and then break up on the cover of People, just like your ancestral sisters!

But not really. I want Rachel's journey to be different; I want her to choose Eric — there I go, pressuring her — who's very empathetic when his mom tells him how she kept her distance from him growing up because she didn't want him to be just another boy who knew he could always fall back on his mama if he messed up. It feels harsh, but in the case of Eric, you can't say the theory didn't work. And you know, I've said parents should love their kids unconditionally — but maybe there are conditions you should apply to, oh I don't know, let's just say, MATERNAL LOVE…

Bryan

Bryan's particular brand of "I dunno, girl" is hard to pin down, but there has been one red flag that was particularly glaring: he told Rachel that his mom was the reason his last relationship ended. Now, sure, there are probably some women out there who might feel threatened by their boyfriend's relationship with their mother…but that usually doesn’t happen in a relationship where the man has a typical relationship with his mother. It happens when the mother breastfeeds the boy until he's 12, then moves on to baby-bird feeding Alicia Silverstone-style when he's a teenager, and when he's forced to feed the nest, she just creepily says she's in love with him all the time

That might be enough for even me, the most independent of lovers, to be like, Dude, I think you need scale it back with your mom a little bit, she FedEx'd us a bunch of chewed up food on dry ice yesterday.

When Bryan and Rachel arrive at his family's home in Miami, his mom basically gives Rachel the Heisman to get to her son. Later, she offers up this toast to welcome Rachel into their family's home: "For the most precious thing that I have in my life." Cheers to Rachel! Olga tells the camera, while openly weeping, "Bryan is my life. He's my love, he's my pride. We really have such a wonderful relationship, that for me, a woman that separates him from me would be terrible." Cool, sounds like a normal closeness between mother and son where the mom would rather the son be alone forever than to share any of the love in his love tank with another woman. Cool, cool, cool.

If Olga has other children, they go unnamed (and—this is just a guess—unloved). But there is a young mystery woman that looks like Bryan who tells Rachel that the ex-girlfriend "was threatened by the relationship he had with his mother" which the unnamed woman seems to think is proof the ex was crazy, and not an indicator that if a love interest is threatened by a mother/son relationship, there's probably good reason. [Ed. Note: Has everyone seen Bates Motel? It's terrific!]

Like, if your boyfriend's mom is constantly saying, "Bryan is my life, and I just want to advise you, to give you a warning: You are marrying the family too," that might be a good enough reason to feel threatened, quite literally, for your life, and not just for your relationship with this walking haircut (a bad one, according to Olga).

But Rachel, in her continued refusal to see that most things about Bryan are tinged with an unknowable filter of MOLLY, YOU IN DANGER GIRL, just laughs off his mom's literal threats and professes her adoration for Lil' BryGuy. To be fair, at the end of the visit, Olga tells the camera that she could see in Rachel's eyes she's a good person—the subtext is that a good person would never try to replace her as Bryan's number one, they would just be comfortable settling into a far distant number two. At least until, as Olga says, she dies and leaves that number one spot open: "I want the day we leave, I can be in peace because he can have someone to take care of him. He's the love of my life."

Bryan will be allowed to love someone else, quite literally, over Olga's dead body.

Peter

I've really like Peter this whole time, and for valid reason: he's super-hot. He's a personal trainer and former model, and he has a nice deep voice. People say the most important thing to them is a sense of humor, but when faced with a total babe who seems reasonably smart and into you, who among us would be longing for the killer knock-knock jokes of our youthful fantasies?

But boy, did Wisconsin bring out the dull in this guy. We don't get to meet Dean's friends (which I've heard was filmed as a segment because I listen to multiple Bachelorette podcasts, don't talk to me, I don’t want to hear it), but we get to meet Peter's friends who, coincidentally, seem like they've never met Peter before in their lives? No one smiles with their teeth for the entire encounter.

Peter laughs with his "pals" about how he told Rachel that he has a group of 10 close friends, eight of whom are black. Which is like, half-reassuring, and half makes you realize that Peter has a real Allison Williams vibe about him. I guess all two of his white friends and two of his black friends show up, and the two males are immediately sequestered four feet away from Rachel for "guy talk."

Peter's whole thing is that he only wants to propose marriage once in his life and he's not positive he should be doing that in three weeks after having spent a total of six hours alone with this woman. And I get it. But like…Rachel is a beautiful, self-aware, successful attorney…I'd probably Married At First Sight her ass if given the opportunity. His "friends," not making eye contact and maybe calling him Patrick at one point, tell him not to fuck it up. But when Rachel meets Peter's family — bearing two unidentified wrapped parcels — Peter's mom tells her he's ready for marriage emotionally, but at this moment, he might be more prepared for a "commitment" than forking over a diamond.

Peter's thoughts are totally logical — it's exactly how I would feel if put in this situation, but with less prominent cheekbones and no charming tooth-gap (just weakened enamel from years of drinking Diet Coke—is that hot). But I wouldn't put myself in this situation — Peter, with his gorgeous face and strong tooth enamel, did.

Peter seems to thank that he's playing his game: what can he handle, what is he ready for. But this ain't yo game boo-boo. For as self-aware as Rachel is, this isn't even her game. This is The Bachelorette. Peter is trying to play checkers in a game of Psychological Warfare Chess (patent pending). You've got to be eight steps ahead; when you're on your first date, you have to be thinking about your third date where you will, of course, be staring in to Neil Lane's icey blue eyes, deciding on princess-cut, emerald cut, or running away fast enough that Chris Harrison can't catch you.

In the end, Peter tells Rachel, "I'm just very happy right now." Rachel responds: "And I…am very happy too." A love story for the ages!

Dean

What's left to be said about Dean's Hometown date? Well, I guess, the details: The scene opens up on Dean, the Skipper of reanimated Ken dolls, set against the gorgeous landscape of Aspen, about to have one of the worst experiences of his life, which again, was completely avoidable. I've found Dean to be surprisingly mature throughout the season, including his explanation of his father's faith choices, which he explains pragmatically; for Dean, that means only impulsively smiling, like, ever twenty seconds instead of every five. Six years ago, his father converted to the practices of a Kundalini Yogi—as Dean explains, his faith is much like Sikhism, and as he further explained in a thoughtful Instagram post in advance of the episode, it's not what he was referring to when he called his father "eccentric."

You guys, I know I'm stanning for Dean too hard, like he’s just a cute 26-year-old with a complicated past. But I can't help it. I have to imagine my reaction to him is akin to if I was a 14-year-old and understood what a Shawn Mendes is. In a franchise where stereotypical masculinity is valued so highly that being "protective" is frequently manufactured from bungee jumping and cave diving excursions, it's really interesting to see Rachel take on the role of protector as she gently forces (okay, that part's not great) Dean to go inside his father's home amidst his admissions of being "legitimately terrified."

But everything is fine! This is the first time all of Dean's three siblings, his father Paramroop, and Paramroop's wife Santantar have all been together in eight years. Paramroop asks them to all lay down and face their heads toward his gong, and plays some soothing gong tunes which actually seem to…soothe everyone.

And okay, Dean wasn't actually forced into seeing his family, presumably this was his own decision. I will never understand why Rachel encouraged him to choose this already volatile time to confront his dad for apparently the first time every about his lack of sensitivity following his mother's death, but…he did it. And it did not go well!

Paramroop seems like he's really trying to put on a nice, albeit uncomfortable, dinner for everyone, but Dean feels like everyone is putting on a front that they're one big happy family. Well, yeah, that's what you do when there's a stranger in your home and you're trying to make them feel welcome. But Dean asks if he and his father can have a few moment son their own which means everyone else has to…go outside? Outside, Dean's sister tells Rachel what a strong person Dean is and how much she admires him. It's very sweet. Inside, Paramroop tells Dean he's glad he's doing something he loves to do, and when Dean asks for clarification, Paramroop says, "I guess…hanging out with a beautiful woman?" It's very painful.

Dean asks his father if he thinks he's "fulfilled things" as a father and Dean's dad says, "I must have been a pretty great dad because look at my son," and oooooh it possibly the worst attempted compliment of all time. Dean tries to explain his frustration of his dad not being there for him after his mother passed, but Paramroop is not willing to take on that emotional responsibility. Dean wants them to be able to talk about it now that they're both adults and he understands better what was happening, but they just go back and forth until Paramroop says, "Because of my teaching, we believe the other person is you. So whatever you think of me is what you think of yourself." Which…sucks.

Paramroop storms outside and when Rachel asks if she can speak with him he says, "If you must." It's a forced conversation but Paramroop tells Rachel she's welcome back anytime and she tells him what she has with his son is very special. Dean is distraught inside. He tells Rachel, "I know that I'm falling in love with you. I don't even know how to conceptualize this, that's why I'm so blown away." Rachel whispers back, "I'm falling in love with you too."

And then she breaks up with him!!!

Thank goodness. Not because I want Dean's little bird heart to break, or because it made a ton of sense for Rachel to tell him she was falling in love with him and then dash he bowtied heart days later. But because Rachel and Dean were never going to work. She is a mature queen among women, and he's just a baby with a lot of self-admitted growing up to do...

And where better to do that than in Bachelor in Paradise, where boys go to become men. Dean asks Rachel why she said she was falling in love with him and she tells him that she meant it. So that's…the opposite of closure and will probably haunt him while he tries to make out with Raven, etc. But sometimes you just have to cut the good ones loose so they can reconnect with their nuclear family and probably become Musica.ly stars or whatever.

See you next time for a combined recap of Approved Coitus Time with Chris B. Harrison™ and The Men Tell All©