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#so sug! love her
ketrapilled · 1 year
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moony says hi !
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the-physicality · 2 months
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i watched the mystics game [7/17] finally :D
they weren't joking on twitter when they said bodies were flying
that was not a flagrant
we're still getting out rebounded :(
sometimes i think there is no strategy on defense :( except put celeste on
CT highest +/- at +13 of the team
DT was supposed to have 20 i still don't know why that last layup didn't count :(
i said it before i'll say it again tash cloud 1 reb away from triple double :')
honestly just look at the box scores
bec allen tech :)
i could write an essay on the DT block, especially in the Context of this game
also we had 6 blocks this game, we are 3rd on blocks per game on the season [4.92]
where's that tweet about the merc backcourt [ie the whole team] dropping f bombs [cause i can count on eye test one [bec] two [sophie] three [DT] at least ]
after some call involving DT in the first half, BG was making very funny faces on the way to the bench behind her
natasha mack is also underrated defensively / just in general
Kah and BG just doing Kah and BG things
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veritasangel · 29 days
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༊*·˚ I Wanna Be Down
Ft. Sukuna, Geto & Gojo, Choso, Nanami
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sum: how they react when you send them a sexually explicit photo/video.
warnings! fempov, inappropriate pics/vids, piv (unprotected in nanami's), creampie, mutual masturbation, phone sex, fingering, oral (receiving/giving), perv choso, geto shares with gojo, age gap (legal) in sukuna's & nanami's
wc: 9.3k (sorry!) - masterlist
a/n: got carried away with writing nanami's, kinda wanna make his a proper series.
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୨୧ Suguru Geto & Satoru Gojo - boyfriend & his best friend
Suguru was right in the middle of fixing up a car when he got a video from you. He didn't know what he had expected, but it certainly wasn't you riding a dildo, moaning his name. He watched the way you bounced up and down, the sounds you made as your body trembled.
His cock was instantly hard. But you know he's busy and that he can't come back to fuck some sense into you, hell, it's probably why you did it. So instead, he opts to find a solution.
He pulls out his phone and then types a message to Satoru.
Go to my apartment, she's all yours 1 attachment
Satoru needs little to no persuasion and quickly turns up at your place using that spare key he never returned and heading straight up to your bedroom.
He smiles when he sees you, an eyebrow raised. "Well, well, well. Looks like someone's been having some fun without me," he says, closing the door behind him and walking towards the bed. He's already hard, his cock straining against his pants.
He sits on the edge of the bed, reaching over to pull the duvet down. "Now, now, don't be shy. Sugs sent me over to take care of you, and I always do what he asks." His voice is low and smooth, his blue eyes shining in the light.
He inches closer, his hand dipping under the blankets to grasp your thigh. "Besides, I know how much you love my cock. And I've been dying to get my hands on you again." He smirks.
You roll your eyes, acting annoyed. "Wanted my boyfriend, not his little puppy."
Satoru snorts, still smiling. "Oh, you're such a tease, brat. I'm not his puppy." Closer, he leans in, and his lips whisper in your ear, "Besides, he's trusting me to look after you, so show me what you've been doing."
He pulls back, but his hand doesn't leave your thigh. "Shall we get started then without him? Or perhaps I should call him now?" There is something teasing in the way Satoru sounds as he begins sliding up your inner thigh.
✧. ┊    
The phone in Suguru's pocket vibrates; Satoru's call lights up the screen. He picks it up and connects his earphones before setting it down on the workbench.
"Hey, Sug. I'm here with her," Satoru's voice comes through the line, followed by rustling fabric. "She's being a little brat, saying she wanted you, not me."
He can hear you huffing in the background. He chuckles, shaking his head. "Well, you know how to handle her, don't you?"
Suguru's eyes fall back on the car as his mind strays to the sounds through the phone. He can almost see Satoru's hands on your body, his cock hard and ready for you, like he always is. The way he'd tease you, how you'd plead, how Satoru would whine—lost in his own pleasure.
"Well, then, make sure she's satisfied, because I can't join." Suguru says, his voice low and husky with desire. Satoru puts the phone to the side on loud speaker as he leans in to kiss you.
Suguru's cock throbs in his pants at the sound of you and Satoru through the phone. He could hear sounds of the kissing, rustling of fabric as the clothes are removed, he imagines Satoru touching all over your body, his lips trailing down your neck, his teeth grazing your skin.
"Fuck, Satoru," he groans, not being able to get himself off at the moment. Nobody else is at the workshop but he's not taking that risk, so he just listens as he works. "Don't keep her waiting," Suguru says into the phone, his voice low.
Satoru slides his hand between your legs, and he grins, feeling your wetness. His fingers slide into you, and you gasp and arch your back. He looks at the phone. "She's so wet and ready for me, Suguru. I think she's been missing your cock, huh?" Satoru's voice dripped with lust as his fingers pumped in and out of you.
"You're going to have to make do with mine, though." Satoru grins down at you as he lays down on the bed, kissing up your thighs before diving into your pussy.
Suguru can hear the moans and whimpers that came from you, and his stomach was hard in his pants. He is relieved Satoru was taking care of you, but he couldn't help the thought of wanting to be the one to fill you up.
"I'll make sure she's satisfied, Suguru," Satoru vows, his voice husky with desire. "Might even start preferring me to you."
"Never." you say, lightly smacking Satoru.
Satoru chuckled, a smile on his face as he went back to eating you out. "Oh, yeah? We'll see about that." He said, his tongue flicking against your clit.
Suguru's smirk at your denial is proud. He absolutely loves how loyal you are to him, even though you're here with Satoru. He would make it up to you when he gets home and show you just how much better he is.
Satoru's tongue swirls around your clit, sucking and licking, and you squirm and moan at the sensations. "Mmm, you taste so good. Bet Suguru's jealous as hell right now," Satoru purrs, his breath hot on your sensitive flesh.
He pulls back, his chin glistening with your juices, "Hey, Sug, listen to this pretty pussy—all wet and ready for me."
Satoru dives back in, his tongue going deep inside of you as his nose presses against your clit.
Suguru groans at the sound, his cock throbbing painfully in his pants. "That video you sent was so fucking hot. Seeing you on that dildo, fuck, it made me so bloody hard. It's not fair to send it when I can't come see you though, is it?" says Suguru in a low tone.
He could hear the muffled moans from Satoru as he ate you out, the wet sounds of his tongue sliding through your folds. Suguru's cock twitched at the idea of joining you two, burying himself deep inside you.
"Make her cum, Satoru," he demanded, the harshness in his voice spiking with desire. "I want to hear her scream for you."
Knowing that, Satoru tries even a bit harder now. His tongue lashed on your clit, his fingers pumping in and out of you. He could feel you clenching around him, tensing up, your orgasm nearing. Satoru swipes his tongue along your folds as his fingers glide in and out to hit that spot inside you.
Your orgasm was building, tension welling in your body. Satoru's lips were on your clit, sucking hard as his tongue flicked against it. Your hips bucked off the bed as your moans grew louder, more desperate. Satoru's hands had to hold you down to stop you squirming away.
"Sugs- I think I'm going to have to keep her for myself," Satoru teases, his voice thick with lust as his tongue moves through your folds.
Satoru's tongue doesn't stop. His fingers are back, pumping in and out of you, while his lips suck on your clit. You can feel yourself getting close.
"Come on, baby," Satoru presses, his voice muffled against your pussy. "Cum for me. I want to taste you. Let him hear how good I am."
Suguru groaned at the sound of you, close to your climax. "That's it, baby. Cum for him. Let me hear you."
He sucked hard on your clit, fingers curling inside, and that was enough. Waves of your orgasm crashed over you from head to toe. Your body shook as you cried out in pleasure.
Satoru licks up your juices as his tongue swirls over your clit while you come. He backs up a bit, looking down at you with a grin on his face, his face slick from your cum. "I could eat this pretty pussy all day," he moans, his voice laden with lust.
Suguru chuckled, shaking his head. "I bet you could, you little insatiable bastard. But she needs your cock now, don't you think?" He can hear you whimpering, your body still trembling from your orgasm.
Suguru's cock throbs with every pulsation at the thought, pissed he can't be there to see you.
Satoru smirked as he hurriedly undressed. He reached for his wallet and pulled the the condom out and tore it open, rolling it down his hard length.
"Beg for it." he murmurs, his voice suddenly deep and husky. "Beg me to fuck you."
Suguru groans at the sound, his cock throbbing in his pants. "Tell him what you want, baby."
"As if I'd beg you, pretty boy," you tease, since you know the nickname drives him mad.
Satoru smirks at you, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Oh, so that's how it is," he says in a pulled-away breath, "I don't know how he deals with you."
Suguru's lips curled at the edges and he chuckled, shaking his head. "Oh, I handle her just fine. She just likes to be a little difficult." He could hear you huffing in annoyance, though he knew you were just teasing. "Come on, baby," Suguru soothed, his voice low, seductive. "I know you want him. I can hear it in your voice."
Satoru grins and leans down, lips brushing against yours as his tongue slides into your mouth, his cock grinding against you in a torturous tease of what you could possibly have.
"Just say please," Satoru purrs against your lips. "A nice pretty please and I'll let you have it."
"I'm not going to say-"
His hand comes up to grab a fistful of your hair, tugging ever so slightly as Satoru demands in a low voice, "Say it.".
You narrowed your eyes at him, though you couldn't deny the burn that now lay in them. "Ugh fine-" you sighed, "Please, toru? Please can you fuck me?" you asked with a scowl, though the lust behind your eyes showed differently.
Satoru grins, his eyes dark with hunger, as he positions his cock at your entrance. He doesn't hold back, too desperate to feel you. In one powerful motion, he stuffs you full, to which you gasp and arch off the bed as he bottoms out inside you.
"Good girl," he praises low and possessively, drawing back to let his cock slide from you only to plunge into you once more.
Satoru's thrusts, deep and powerful, his cock stretching you wide open, filling you in a way that the dildo couldn't. He began to set a punishing rhythm, pulling out almost all the way before he slammed back into you again.
The way he fills you is intoxicating—every slap of his balls against your ass, every growl of your name, holding onto your hips and trying to keep control.
A shiver runs down your spine with each thrust. He changes the angle again to repeatedly hit that sweet spot, which makes you moan loud enough for Suguru to hear. He's big and being filled up to this degree is breath-taking.
Suguru groans at the sound of your moans. His cock in his pants throbs. "Fuck-," he says, his voice hoarse with desire. "Love hearing you moan like that for him."
Satoru grins back, his hips smacking up against yours. "That's it, baby. Let him hear exactly what he's missing." He bends down lower, his teeth raking at your neck, biting hard enough to leave a mark that he know Suguru will love and hate at the same time.
You moan, your nails digging into his back, encouraging him on. Satoru's cock brushes against all of those spots inside you, and it feels heavenly. It's not quite like anything else, full, stretched in a way that seems to ache, but in a good way. Of course, nothing like your boyfriend but you can't deny he's good at what he does.
Suguru breathes heavily, having forgotten about the car he's working on, just focusing on the phone. "You're such a good girl, taking his cock so well," he praises in a thick voice. "I can't wait to get back, to feel you wrapped around me."
Satoru chuckles as his thrusts grow harder, faster. "Well, you're going to have to wait your turn- I'm not done with her yet." He starts slowing his thrusts as he feels his pleasure rising and his cock twitching inside you. "Fuck, baby. You're gonna make me come," he grunts. His voice is thick with desire as his whines fill the room because his cock is so sensitive at every movement of your walls.
Suguru's voice in his seductive, low tone as he praises you over the phone, "That's it. Such a good girl. You're doing so well, taking his cock like that. I'll reward you later."
Satoru's thrusts speed up, his grip on your waist getting tighter as he chases his release. "You're so lucky I put a condom on, Sug." he growled, his cock throbbing inside you. "Jus' wan' fill this pretty pussy up." he groans, biting down on your shoulder.
Satoru's orgasm was close, he could feel it, the tension rising with every thrust. Your own approaching even quicker, encouraged by his moans and Suguru's sweet praise.
Satoru's thrusts become more insistent, his hips jerking forward into yours with a fierce, almost animalistic energy. His cock pulses inside, the head most surely swelling in preparation to burst. "Fuck, Sug, I'm close," Satoru growled in his tightened voice of lust.
His thrusts become falter, as his movements become sloppier. "Cum for me, baby," Satoru groans, his voice so low and hungry. "Wanna hear you moan my name."
Your orgasm crashes down, your body convulsing as wave after wave of pleasure crashes over you. Your pussy clenches around Satoru's cock, milking him for all he's worth. "Fuck Toru!" you let out a cry of his name, your body arching off the bed at hitting that peak.
"Fuuck-" he whines, his cock throbbing as he follows you over the edge. His hips stutter, cock pulsing with his cum as it fills the condom. He collapses on top of you, energy vibrating through his frame from the release.
"God, you feel so good," Satoru pants, pushing his forehead against yours as he comes down from his high. He stays inside you, savouring the aftershocks.
Suguru doesn't hang up, still on the line and hearing your pleasure sounds as his own cock throbs torturously in his pants. "Such a good girl."
Satoru slowly pulls out, slipping the condom off his cock with a wet pop. He disposes of it and then climbs back onto the bed, lying beside you as he pulls you into his embrace.
Suguru's voice is tender, his praise soft and gentled in your ear. "You did good, sweetheart."
Satoru chuckles, nuzzling your neck. "I can sweet talk her, don't worry." he teases, his fingers tracing patterns on your skin.
Suguru laughs, shaking his head. "I'm sure you can, toru. But I want to hear her voice, know she's okay."
You smile, your voice soft and sleepy, as you reply, "I'm okay, Sug. More than okay. Toru was great. I'm just sleepy now and I miss you." you yawn.
Suguru chuckled, his voice was warm and affectionate. "I bet you do, baby. Why don't you catch a nice nap with Satoru, and I'll wake you guys up once I get back?"
You murmur your agreement, feeling your eyes grow heavy already.
Satoru kisses the top of your head, then pulls you closer. "Don't work too hard, I'll look after her." Satoru reassures Suguru as he ends the call, his eyes closing as he leans into you.
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୨୧ Kento Nanami - dad's best friend
Nanami's eyes widened as he stared at the picture you sent him earlier, depicting you in lingerie. His heart raced, his pulse quickened, and his breathing grew shallow. The image of you in that revealing outfit played in his mind, leaving him aching for more.
He knew it was wrong to entertain such thoughts, especially when you were his best friend's daughter. But the temptation was too great to ignore. The line had blurred, and Nanami found himself craving the warmth of your body and the feel of your touch.
A sense of guilt plagued him, but he couldn't help but appreciate the beauty you exuded. The thought of you wearing such lingerie for him sent a thrill down his spine, and he found himself powerless to resist.
With a heavy heart, he responded to your message, inviting you to his house. He knew he was opening a Pandora's box, but he couldn't bring himself to deny the desires that consumed him. Nanami steeled himself, preparing for the consequences that would inevitably follow.
His heart raced as he heard the knock on his door, and he took a deep breath to steady his nerves. He knew this was a path he shouldn't have taken, but the allure of being with you was too strong to resist.
He opened the door, his gaze immediately drawn to you. You looked even more stunning in person, wearing a pretty dress that hugged your curves in all the right places. Nanami's eyes lingered on you for a moment before he cleared his throat, attempting to regain his composure.
"Please, do come in," he said, moving aside to grant you entry. His heart was pounding while you moved past him; the smell of your perfume invaded his nostrils.
Nanami couldn't help but be struck by your beauty. You looked beautiful in your dress, your hair was stunning and in your eyes, something mischievous gleamed. He knew he was playing with fire, but the temptation was too great to resist.
He brushed against you, making contact that sent jolts of electricity through his body. He had to fight the urge to pull you closer. "I'm glad you could make it," he said, his voice low and husky. "I've been looking forward to seeing you all day."
He reached out and brushed some hair from your face, his fingers lingering on your cheek. The touch was electric, and Nanami felt a surge of desire course through him. He knew he should stop, but he couldn't bring himself to pull away—not when you were so close, so tantalizing.
"I heard the business deal was a success, my Dad told me." you say
Nanami's eyes widened slightly at the mention of your father, a flicker of guilt crossing his face. He knew he was treading on dangerous ground, engaging in a forbidden relationship with his best friend's daughter. But the temptation was too great to resist.
He stepped closer to you, his hand finding its way to your waist. "Yes, the deal went well," he said, his voice low and husky. "But I must admit, my thoughts have been... elsewhere today."
His gaze drifted over your body, taking in every curve and contour. Nanami felt a surge of desire, a need to touch you, to feel your skin against his.
He leaned in closer, his lips brushing against your ear. "I've been thinking about you," he whispered, his breath hot against your skin. "About the picture you sent me. About the way you look in that lingerie."
His hand slid lower, cupping your ass and pulling you against him. He could feel the heat of your body, the way your breasts pressed against his chest. Nanami knew he was crossing a line, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Not when you were so close, so willing.
"You shouldn't send pictures like that to someone like me." Nanami says lowly as his eyes meet yours.
"Why not?"
Nanami's grip on your waist tightened as he pulled you closer, the heat between you becoming almost unbearable. "Because I'm far too tempted to act on it," he said, his voice thick with desire. "I'm a man, and you're a beautiful woman. Mix that in with the fact that you're the daughter of my best friend. It's a recipe for disaster."
He felt his heart pound, his body begging for more. Nanami knew it was wrong. He knew this would tear apart his friendship, nothing he could do would heal the damage it'd cause.
Yet, in your eyes, he saw the very same need staring back. A fight he knew he had no hope of winning but couldn't help himself from fighting. "I shouldn't have invited you here," he whispered, lips caressing your earlobe. "But I can't seem to resist the pull."
Though his words said it, Nanami couldn't bring himself to let go of you. His hand was still cupping your ass, holding you close with his body, while the other brushed strands of hair from your face. His heart was at a torn junction of what he knew was right and what his body was crying out for.
You give in, leaning forward to kiss him. The touch of your lips to his sent shivers down Nanami's back as it became electric. The kiss was passionate, hungry, full of the desire that had been building between the two of us. Nanami's hands tightened on your waist, drawing you in closer as he deepened the kiss.
The guilt and reservations he had moments before vanished, replaced by the primal need to be with you. His heart raced, and his thoughts became a jumble of lust and longing.
Despite the knowledge of the consequences, Nanami couldn't bring himself to push you away. The pull between the two of you was too strong, and the desire too great. For now, he would allow himself to indulge in the forbidden, to savour the moment before the harsh reality of their situation came crashing down.
Nanami's breath caught in his throat as he pulled back from the kiss, his eyes dark with desire. "That picture you sent me," he said, his voice low and husky. "It was the most erotic thing I've ever seen. The way the lingerie clung to you, the colour against your skin... it was like a dream come true."
He reached out, his fingers trailing down your arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. "I couldn't stop thinking about it. About you." his hands roam.
"How many college boys got that same picture, huh?" he said darkly.
You chuckled slightly, hearing the dangerous undertone in his words. You shake your head, looking up at him, "None."
Nanami's eyes widened, and he couldn't help but feel a surge of possessiveness. "Is that so?" he repeated, his voice thick with lust. "No one else has the privilege of seeing you like this, huh? Just me?"
He pulled you closer, his hand cupping the back of your head as he deepened the kiss. The thought of you being all his, of having this secret between the two of them, sent a thrill down his spine. Nanami knew this was wrong, that he was betraying your father's trust, but the allure of being with you, of having this forbidden connection, was too great to resist.
His hand slid up your back, reaching for the zipper of your dress. "I want to see more," he whispered against your lips, his breath hot and heavy. "I want to see everything."
Nanami's heart pounded in his chest, his body aching for you. He knew he was crossing a line, but the desire was too strong, the temptation too great. For now, he would allow himself to indulge in the forbidden, to savour the moment.
Nanami's fingers fumbled with the zipper, his heart racing as he waited for your response. He looked into your eyes, searching for any sign of hesitation or doubt. If you gave him the go-ahead, he would take you straight to his bed, unable to resist the pull any longer.
His body ached for yours, and as he stared into your eyes, he saw the same desire reflected back. Nanami knew he was walking a dangerous path, but in that moment, all he could think about was being with you, of feeling your body pressed against his, of losing himself in the pleasure that awaited.
"Please-" you whispered softly.
Nanami's breath caught in his throat as you whispered your plea, and he couldn't resist any longer. His fingers finally pulled the zipper down, revealing your lingerie-clad body. Nanami's eyes widened as he took in the sight, his desire for you growing even more intense.
He pulled you closer, his lips finding yours once more as his hands roamed over your body. His fingers traced the outline of the material, the lace against your skin. Nanami's heart pounded in his chest, his body aching for more.
He lifted you into his arms bridal style and carried you towards his bedroom. The weight of your body in his arms, the feel of your soft skin against his, was intoxicating.
Once in the bedroom, he laid you gently on the bed, his gaze never leaving yours. Nanami leaned in, his lips brushing against your collarbone, making their way down to your breasts. He lowered the fabric slightly, but didn’t remove it. He took a nipple into his mouth, sucking gently as his hand caressed the soft flesh of your thigh.
Nanami's hands roamed more, his fingers slipping beneath the waistband of your panties. He could feel the heat of your core, the wetness that awaited him. His heart raced as he explored your body, his touch becoming more urgent with each passing moment. He knew he was crossing a line, but the temptation too great.
Nanami's voice was thick with lust as he whispered into your ear, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine. "So fucking pretty, sweetheart," he murmured, his fingers dipping into your panties, teasing your clit. "You shouldn't be here, you should be a good girl and stay away from me."
His other hand cupped your breast, squeezing gently as he leaned down to take your nipple into his mouth once more. "But you're not a good girl, are you?" he asked, his voice dark and seductive. "You're here, and you want this just as much as I do."
Nanami's fingers continued to tease, his touch becoming more insistent as he sought to drive you wild. 
"Can you stop teasing me, jus' wanna get fucked by you." you whine, squirming slightly under his touch.
Nanami's hand slid down to your panties, his fingers teasing your clit through the damp fabric. "You want me to fuck you?" he asked, his voice low and husky. "You want me to slide my cock deep inside you and make you scream my name?"
He leaned down, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered, "I want to fuck you so deep, that you'll never forget this moment. That you'll crave me every time you close your eyes. I want to take it slow, to savour it."
Nanami's fingers slipped beneath your panties, teasing your entrance. "But not tonight... I can't spend too much time," he said, his voice filled with regret. "I have a celebratory dinner with your father later tonight, and I can't be late."
He pulled back, his eyes dark with desire as he looked down at you. "So, I'm going to have to make this quicker than I’d like," he said, his voice thick with lust. "But I'll make it up to you, I swear."
He quickly unbuckled his pants, freeing his hard cock. Nanami stroked himself a few times, his eyes never leaving your body. "You're so fucking beautiful," he murmured, his voice thick with desire.
Nanami watched as you lowered your panties and began to finger yourself, his eyes darkened with lust. The sight of you touching yourself, preparing for him, was almost too much to bear.
He settled between your legs, his cock pressing against your entrance. Nanami leaned down, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss as he slowly pushed inside you. The feeling of your tight heat enveloping him was almost too much to bear, and he had to stop for a moment, savouring the sensation.
Nanami began to move, his thrusts slow and deep as he sought to bring you both to the brink of ecstasy. He knew he wouldn't last long, not with the way your body felt around him, but he wanted to make sure you came first.
Nanami's hips rocked forward, his cock sliding deep inside you. He began to set a rhythm, his thrusts slow and deep, seeking to fill you completely. His grip on your hips tightened, his fingers digging into your flesh as he moved inside you.
He leaned down, his lips finding your neck as he began to suck and bite at the sensitive skin. "You feel so fucking good," he murmured, his voice thick with lust. "So tight, so perfect. I could stay inside you forever."
Nanami's thrusts became more urgent, his hips snapping against yours as he drove himself deeper inside you. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room, mixing with your moans and his grunts of pleasure.Nanami's thrusts were desperate, his body trembling with the effort to hold back. 
Even as Nanami's movements became more urgent, he remained tender with you. His fingers caressed your hips, his grip firm but gentle. "That picture you sent me," he panted, his breath hot against your skin. "It turned me on like nothing else. I want more, sweetheart. I want to see you like that, all for me."
His hips began to move in a frenzy, his cock sliding in and out of you with rapid, powerful strokes. "I want to see you wearing nothing but lace, your body on display for me," he growled, his voice thick with lust. "Just f'me, yeah?"
Nanami's grip on your hips tightened, his body tensing as he fought to hold back his release. "Want you to be mine" he whispered, his voice filled with determination. "I want you, and I'll make sure you're taken care of, that you never want for anything."
He leaned down, capturing your lips in a searing kiss as he drove himself deep inside you. Nanami's fingers found your clit, rubbing the sensitive nub in circles as he continued to thrust inside you. His lips found your neck, sucking and biting at the delicate skin as he sought to drive you wild with pleasure.
"Need you so fucking bad, I don't care." he says. His fingers moved faster, his touch becoming more insistent as he sought to bring you to the edge of ecstasy. His hips snapped against yours, his cock sliding deep inside you with each powerful thrust.
Nanami's breath hitched in his throat as he felt you tighten around him, the signs of your impending orgasm clear. He increased the pace of his fingers on your clit, his lips finding yours once more as he continued to thrust.
His own release was close, his body tensing with the effort to hold back. "Come for me, baby," he growled, his voice thick with lust. "I want to feel you clench around my cock."
Nanami's thrusts became more urgent, his body trembling with the force of his desire. He could feel his own climax building, the pressure in his balls growing more intense with every passing moment.
As you reached your peak, Nanami couldn't hold back any longer. With a guttural groan, he slammed into you one last time, his cock pulsing deep inside your body as he came. His release spilled into you, the warmth of his seed filling you as he held you close, his body shuddering with the force of his orgasm.
Nanami's breathing became heavy, his body still pressed against yours as he tried to catch his breath. He leaned down, his lips finding yours in a tender kiss. "That was amazing," he murmured, his voice filled with satisfaction. "You're amazing."
Nanami's fingers traced patterns on your skin, his touch gentle and soothing as he held you close. He knew he should pull out, should clean up and get ready for his dinner with your father, but he couldn't bring himself to move just yet. He wanted to stay like this, with you in his arms, for just a little longer.
Nanami's hips continued to slowly rock against yours, his cock sliding in and out of your sensitive body as he savoured the afterglow. He could feel his release leaking out of you, the warmth of it coating his still-hard shaft.
Nanami's eyes fluttered closed as you kissed his forehead, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He appreciated the gentle touch as you brushed the sweat-slicked hair back from his face.
Eventually he began to pull out of you, his movements slow and careful. He couldn't help but feel a pang of regret as he disconnected from your body, the sensation of being inside you fading away.
Nanami leaned back, his eyes meeting yours as he pulled away from your body. "Your father won't be coming back here after the dinner," he said, his voice low and husky. "So, you can stay here, take a shower, order some food, and settle into my bed if you'd like."
He reached for a towel, gently wiping your thighs. "I'll leave you some money for the food," he added, his voice filled with a sense of protectiveness. "You can stay here as long as you want."
Nanami's eyes held yours, the desire still there, but tempered by a newfound sense of care.
He stood up, his movements smooth and graceful. "I'll get dressed and leave you to it," he said, his voice filled with a sense of reluctance. "Make yourself at home. I'll see you when I get back."
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୨୧ Choso Kamo - roommate
Choso laid across the couch, scrolling his phone, as a video message popped up in his notifications. He opened it, expecting a stupid video from his friends, but the preview threw him off.
It was a video of you, his roommate, and you were doing things that made his mouth go dry. He watched, riveted, as you slipped your fingers into your panties, biting your lip as you began touching yourself.
Choso knew he should stop watching, you would've sent that by accident, he should be a good friend and delete it. But he was too captivated—so it seemed—in seeing you play with yourself as the soft moans coming from your mouth filled his ears.
Choso's eyes widened, and his heart raced as he watched the video. He just couldn't believe what he was seeing. His cock began to harden; the veins became more pronounced by the second.
The way your body moved, your chest heaving up and down with every breath, your face flushed with such desire. It was impossible not to watch. He palmed his hardening cock through his pants, trying to ignore the ache building inside him. But as your moans grew stronger and your fingers moved faster, Choso couldn't hold back anymore.
He quickly stood up and headed straight for your bedroom. He knew that he shouldn't be in here, but he just couldn't help it, he wanted to be in your presence, near you. He walked in, eyes looking around everywhere, to the bed, to the dresser, to the closet. He could smell the room, your scent, and it only made him harder.
His eyes had locked on the laundry basket in the corner of the room. He walked to it, his cock aching with anticipation. It was too late and he couldn't stop now.
He had to dig his hands into the basket of clothes until he found the material he was looking for. Grasping a pair of your panties, he held them up to his face and inhaled deeply, breathing in the scent — your scent. It was heady, and he was even harder because of it.
He pulled the panties up to his mouth, unable to stop himself from licking along the damp patch. He could taste your essence, and it was so sweet—the most delicious thing in the world to him. He even let out a moan, his desire unrestrained.
He was too far gone. He needed to cum, had to release all this pent-up tension. It's your fault, you should have been more careful with those messages.
Choso laid down on your bed, feeling the softness of the mattress around him, satisfied in knowing that you sleep here every night. He adjusted himself, his cock starting to strain against his sweats. He reached into his pants and pulled his cock free. He ran his hand over it, feeling the precum dripping off the tip.
Now holding your panties in his free hand, he rubbed them over the precum on his finger and stroked himself with that too.
The image of you in the video blared in his mind again and again as he stroked himself to the memory of your moaning. The video, your smell from the panties, the thought of you being on this bed just proved to be too much for Choso. 
His free hand reached to his phone to turn the video on once more, and there you were, just the vision of your fingers buried deep in your pussy made him shiver. 
He pretended it was his fingers inside, that he could have his mouth on you, taste you for real.
He closed his eyes and imagined you were there beside him, your hands on his body, your lips against his skin. He ground his hips up into his open hand, visioning you riding him, your tits bouncing with each thrust. He'd wanted to bury his face in them, fuck you until you screamed his name.
Choso dropped the phone, noises of your moans still blaring within. He gripped at the bed sheets, using his fingers to drive down into the fabric. He could smell you in the fabric, making him even harder. He pressed his hips up, his cock brushing along his hand, and released a low moan as he felt his eyes roll back in his head at just how close he was getting to the edge.
He heard jingling keys and the front door opening. He knew that definitely meant you were home, but he just couldn't stop himself from what he was doing. He gripped at the bedsheets and stroked himself faster, his hips thrusting upwards. He could hear you in the living room now, closer now in your footsteps.
He knew he should stop, that he should hide what he was doing, but he didn't want to.
Choso's eyes locked onto yours as his breath got caught in his throat. He knows he should feel embarrassed, ashamed even, but he doesn't. Rather, he feels exhilaration at the rush of adrenaline that flares, having been caught.
He didn't stop touching himself; his hand was moving up and down his shaft. He could feel your eyes on him, but he didn't care. All he was able to focus on was the pressure building, the need to release it.
Choso watched as you walked over, your eyes falling onto the video playing on his phone. He expected you to get angry, to possibly even scream at him, or kick him out of the place but you just laughed.
You looked down at him, and for a moment, your eyes sparkled with mischief. "I see you liked the video?" you say, eyeing him as he slowly strokes his cock.
It hit Choso like an epiphany, that video was definitely sent to him on purpose by you He couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe you were toying and teasing him like that.
He could feel his cock throb; he could feel the promise of pleasure about to tip over. He wanted to say something, wanted to apologise, but could find no words.
He just nodded, his eyes locked into yours. It was like your eyes were afire with the look of want. Choso's eyes never found reason to break away. You sat down on the edge of your bed as your fingers brushed across his cock. He breathed out a soft moan as his hips bucked up towards you. He felt his orgasm coming on, the pressure in his balls unbearable.
You leaned in close, your lips brushing against his ear. "Do you want to cum, Choso?" He nodded but couldn't string the words in a line. He wanted to finish. Wanted to cum all over your hand, these panties. He wanted you to see this, to see him release all of this pent tension.
Choso just groaned lightly then when you began softly jerking him off. Your other hand reached for his chin, and you tilted his face up so you could look into his eyes. In them, he could see the desire; he felt the warmth seeping from them at him. He wanted to lose himself in you, to bury himself in you, to be completely consumed by you.
Your hand moved faster, the grip on his cock tightening, bringing his end nearer with each stroke being sent as a lightning jolt. He wanted to cum. He wanted so desperately to just release all this pent-up tension. But also, he wanted to prolong this moment, savour the feeling of your hand on him, in case he never felt it again.
His eyes contained a demand. "Please, please," he whimpered, his voice barely above a whisper. "Please, I have to- God- let me cum for you." His hips bucked up, grinding into your hand, looking for more friction, more pleasure.
Choso's cock twitched, the veins seeming to throb in time with every movement of your slick hand. Pre soaked the head of his cock, a testimony to how close he was to the edge.
He whimpered again, his body shaking at being brought closer and closer. He wanted to cum so badly, here with you, it was like one of his fantasies coming to life.
Choso breathed heavily, his moans louder as the speed of your hand increased. His fingers laced with yours, as he tried to stay close to you, eyes on your every movement. He wanted to be yours in this moment. He knew he was only moments away from being unable to hold back.
Choso quivered and whined as your hand tightened around his cock. Every stroke, caress, and touch spread waves of pleasure through his body. His skin flushed with desire; his heart fluttering in his chest.
He lent into you, inhaled your scent as his eyes drifted closed momentarily. He felt that when he was with her, he could feel safe enough to just be vulnerable. It felt as though you could see him, the real him, behind that cold distant version of himself that everyone else saw.
He was losing it, and he was falling, but he didn't give a damn. He just needed it. He needed to be yours, completely and utterly.
Choso clung to you as his eyes rolled back slightly, his orgasm ripping through him. His cock pulsing in your hand, as he shot out thick ropes of cum. A loud moan erupted from him, his body shaking. He was weightless, floating as he rode the waves of pleasure.
You never stopped your hand from making those slow, consistent strokes, milking him for every last drop. He felt your warm caress encase him, your scent pervading his senses. It seemed as if he could stay in this moment forever: lost in your touch, lost in your very presence.
Choso's body lay limp from the orgasm that wrenched through him, his chest heaving for air. Some kind of pleasure-hazed, love-drunk look on his face and his mouth curling into a self-satisfied grin.
He reached up as his hand cupped your cheek. "That was incredible," he whispered; his voice was hoarse from moans. He leaned in, pressing his forehead against hers, "Thank you."
He should have been ashamed at letting you see him like that, but he wasn't. He felt thankful, felt he had been given a gift, a moment of pure, unadulterated pleasure.
"You're such a perv." you joke, ruffling his hair.
Choso laughed again, his hand still cupping your cheek. "Guilty as charged," he said. His voice was still hoarse, post orgasm. He leaned in, kissing you gently, as if afraid you might break.
He pulled back, his eyes holding yours "But you're the one who sent me the video," he accused, with a mischievous glint in his eyes. 
"So, who's the real perv here?"
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୨୧ Sukuna Ryomen - sugar daddy
Sukuna's eyes land on the screen of his phone, a message from you popping up. A picture of you in a raunchy lingerie set, one that you’d purchased with his card, a sight that instantly had him swallowing, adam’s apple bobbing.
He had been in his office, preparing for a meeting, and the sight of you in that lingerie set had him hard. It was a sight that he came to relish, to want more of. The thought of your soft skin and the way you would entwine your legs around him, the way you would moan his name, had him biting his lip.
Sukuna's hand darted down to his crotch, adjusting the bulge that was now evidently showing in his trousers. He couldn't leave the room, not in his current state. There was a meeting in half an hour and he needed this to go as soon as possible.
He grits his teeth, his hand working over his cock through his trousers. He needs to hear your voice, needs to have you talk to him. He didn't even think about it, just dialled your number, the phone ringing in his hands.
"Pick up." His voice was low and husky, his breathing heavy as he waited for your response. He needed you, needed to hear you. "I need to hear your voice."
You pick up the call and giggle, the sound sending a shiver down Sukuna's spine. He'd grown to love that sound, to crave it.
"You're wearing that for me, aren't you?" He growls, a low and dark sound. He'd always been dangerous, but with you, he felt something different. He felt...calmer. It was a strange feeling, one that he didn't want to lose.
"Tell me what you're doing right now, doll." His voice is low and seductive, the tone one that would make anyone weak at the knees. His breathing hitches, as he undoes his belt, tugging his trousers and boxers down a little so he could free his cock. He wanted to know every detail, to imagine your hands on your body as he worked his own cock. He needed to hear your voice, to hear your thoughts. He needed to know that you were thinking about him, about pleasing him.
You give in, running him through everything, the reasoning for the lingerie, what other sets you bought. You told him what you were thinking about, how you were touching yourself in this moment.
Sukuna's eyes widened at your words, his hand working faster over his cock. The thought of you touching yourself on your bed, thinking of him, had him groaning. He could almost imagine it, your soft hands roaming over your body, your fingers dipping into your pussy. The thought had him biting down on his lip, his eyes closing as he imagined it.
"Fuck, doll." He growls, his voice low and husky. "Tell me more. I want to hear every detail."
His hand works faster, his cock throbbing with need. He needed to know that you were thinking of him. He had always been such a selfish man, but with you, he felt so different. He wanted to please you, make you feel good. Though he was definitely still greedy and possessive, wanting you all to himself.
"Tell me what you're thinking about." He drawls, and his hand starts moving a little faster. He needed to know that you desired him, craved him, just as much as he did with you.
Sukuna waits, his hand working faster. The sound of his pants straining was loud in his ears, the need to release building.
"I'm thinking about you, Sukuna." Your voice is soft, breathy, the sound causing him to groan. "I'm thinking about how you'll fuck me when you come over, how you'll take me in a way that no one else can."
Sukuna could imagine it: your soft voice, your body trembling as you touched yourself. He could feel the way you would writhe under him, the way you would moan his name.
"I'm thinking about your cock, how it fills me up." You go on, your voice husky. "I want to feel you inside of me, hear you groan my name as you cum."
The sounds of you pleasuring yourself fill his ears; what gets to him is the thought of you touching yourself while you spoke of him, and Sukuna bites down on his lip.
"Sukuna..." Your voice hitches, the sound causing him to groan. "I want you to fuck me." The combination of how you sounded and you wanting him was almost too much. Sukuna could feel his release building, his hand working faster over his cock.
Sukuna's grip tightens on his phone as he hears you, the sound of your soft moans and the wet noises of you touching yourself over the phone. He can't help but imagine you, your fingers dipping into your wet heat, your body trembling as you think of him.
His breathing hitches, his hand working faster and faster over his cock. He can feel the release building, the need to cum threatening to drown him.
With a low growl, Sukuna bites down on his lip, his hips rocking in time with his hand. The room around him fades, the only thing that exists is the sound of your voice, your moans, the thought of you touching yourself for him.
Sukuna's cock is thick and veiny, pulsing in his hand as he strokes it. The head is a deep pink, desperate for release. His hand works faster, the pre-cum slicking his palm as he nears his climax.
The thought of you, the sounds of you touching yourself, has him groaning, his hips rocking with every stroke. His grip tightens, his muscles tensing as he feels the release building. He can't help but imagine it, your soft and wet cunt, the way you'd moan his name as he thrust into you.
"I want to spoil you, baby." He growls, his breathing heavy. "I want to shower you with gifts, to make you mine." He wanted to own, to claim, you for his own—it was an insane thought, one he could usually throw to the side, but with you, he found himself wanting. He wanted to look after you, treat you like the precious gem you are.
His work phone started to ring, but Sukuna didn't care. All his hand did was speed up on his cock and not stop or pull away from the sound of your voice and thinking about you touching yourself for him.
His grip tightened, his hips rocking along with his strokes. He could feel the release building, his need to cum threatening to drown him.
"I can't wait to see you, angel." He growls, his voice low and husky. "I want to taste you, to feel you under me as I claim you."
The thought of you, the sound of your moans, has him groaning, his hand working faster. He can't stop, can't pull away from the thought of you, from the sound of your voice. Sukuna bites down on his lip, his hips rocking as he nears his release. It's building, he can feel it, and the need to cum is going to consume him.
Sukuna's breathing catches at your words; his grip on the phone tightens as the sounds of your moaning and wet noises from touching yourself drive him closer to the edge.
He can do nothing but plead, his voice hoarse, desperate. "Need to hear your voice to cum, it's an addiction." His purr was low, very low—a feeling almost that one swore one felt deep in their chest, lulling one into a false sense of security. He was dangerous but with you, gentle, at least to the surface.
You can hear the need in his voice, the desperation, and you know that you're holding within your hands the power to send him over the edge. You release a soft moan as you continue touching yourself. Your voice causes Sukuna's skin to shiver with goosebumps.
"I want you to fill me up, to claim me as your own." Your voice is soft, seductive, the words causing him to groan. "Cum for me, let me hear you."
His grip tightens, his hips rocking faster as he nears his release. The sound of your voice, the thought of you touching yourself, pushes him over the edge. He can't hold back any longer, his cock pulsing in his hand as he reaches that sweet release.
"Shit, angel." He groans, his voice low and filled with desire. "Should've thought about my suit before doing this."
His cum spurts from the tip of his cock, coating his hand and trousers as he lets out a low, satisfied groan. It was an intense release, the best he's ever had with just his hand. Just thinking about you, the sound of your voice, he shuddered, breathing heavily as the aftershocks of his orgasm sent a shiver running down his spine.
The sound of your moans and the wet noises of you touching yourself continue to ring in Sukuna's ears as you cum. The sound of your pleasure, filled him with a need to hold you, to claim you.
You both cum, the release intense, the thought of each other pushing you to new heights. The sounds of your pleasure, the thought of you both finishing, had Sukuna breathing heavily, his hand still wrapped around his now softening cock.
The silence fills the line, both of you catching your breath, the sounds of your breathing heavy in each other's ears. "Gonna take you out to lunch as soon as this boring meeting's done, it's on me. Wear something pretty" he says as he tries to wipe up.
You breathe heavily, the afterglow of your orgasm still washing over you as Sukuna speaks, the thought of him buying you lunch making you smile.
"I'll wear something pretty for you, Sukuna." You reply, your voice soft and sultry. "I can't wait to see you." The thought of him, has you trembling, the aftershocks of your orgasm still sending shivers down your spine.
"Thank you for the call, baby, I needed that." Sukuna’s voice is filled with gratitude, making you feel cherished.
"Just make sure to behave for the next few hours, f'me, yeah?"
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reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated & it makes me smile <3
© veritasangel ↣ 𝘥𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘱𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘴
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oreo-creampie · 1 year
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"𝐝𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮"
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: age gap with toji and shiu, collage student!reader, threesomes, double penetration, same hole for suguru and satoru, different for toji and shiu, triple penetration with a toy, anal with an inhuman vibrating dildo (hints at prep with butt plug), degradation/praise, fucking you on call, choking/gagging, spanking, spitting in your face, fingering your cunt, begging, hints of bratty reader with toji and shiu, pain kink, satoru is mean to your nipples, squirting, overstimulation, dacryphilia
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𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐮 & 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮
You weren't walking after this. You didn't care, wanting to be their beautiful fuck toy till your body gives out and you can't feel your pussy.
Satoru's beautiful, breathy moans are something you want recorded to masturbate to. “Nnn the friction of your cock rubbing mine. Her tight cunt, it’s too much! But I don’t wanna stop, I need more of her sloppy, tight cunt.” You're getting off on being sandwiched between their beautiful, muscular bodies in a mating press.
Satoru looks so beautiful drunk off fucking your dripping cunt loose. Unable to take his hands off you. You love being the center of Satoru and Suguru's attention. Fondled and fucked stupid by muscular, handsome men way bigger than you.
Satoru croons, "Cry for me princess." Pinching your nipples, the sharp pain shooting into your cunt making you clench. Stroking it after, soothing the ache with pleasure you can feel in your cunt.
Suguru chastises Satoru, “Don't be too mean to her, she's being such a good girl. Letting us break her sloppy, beautiful cunt n' sexy ass." Suguru pulls the butt plug out, its thick round base tugging on your asshole.
Mewling, "MMmmnnn! Sug, Toru! Nnnn, more, fuck! More!" Satoru's head overlaps Suguru's thicker cock head. Suguru is taking up more space by pressing Satoru your soft, hot cunt. Making it easy for him to get your g-spot with every quick thrust.
Tugging on Suguru's hair when he glides a vibrating dildo into your other hole. Its girth getting thicker, the soft ridges of it making your eyes roll back. It feels too good, you can't think. Loudly moaning, "Torsugutoru." Meshing their names together. Your toes curl from the strip of skin between both holes getting thinner. You can feel the vibrations in your cunt.
Whimpering, "Too full! Don't stop!" Satoru pinches your other nipple, tugging on it. Refusing to let up, arching into his hand. Grinding your hips back taking more of the strongly pulsing dildo till it's buried deep inside.
Satoru lets go, licking his thumb, smearing his spit on your aching nipple. He massages your sore nipple. You whine, "Too full!" Your eyes roll back as your other hole gives to the thick toy. Lying your head on Suguru's chest, peering up at him, tears trickling down your face.
Suguru glides the toy into your ass in time with his thick cock splitting open your dripping cunt. "Princess you look too beautiful cryin' from our cocks. Is it too much? Are we stretching your holes out too much?" You open your mouth but you can't speak.
Satoru smirks, sliding his hand down to stroke your clit. Leaning back, looking down, and watching your sloppy cunt take Suguru's and His cocks together. "What happened thought you could talk?" Thick clear cum squirts from your overly sensitive cunt.
Saotru whines, "Oh fuck fuck fuck, I can feel the vibrations of the toy, her hot cunt is gushing. Can't hold on!" This cock throbs, his veins pulsing, your cunt clenching him tighter as Suguru doesn't stop fucking you through your peak, fucking both your holes rougher.
Clawing at Satoru's chest, tugging on Suguru's hair. Suguru leans down to kiss you, groaning into his mouth. His tongue fills your mouth. Satoru slows down until he stops buried inside you.
Whining from the friction of Suguru's cock rubbing his inside of your sloppy cunt. "Nnnnnn her cunt getting too tight, your cocks too hard. You're rubbing me-nnn" He can't get the words out, grabbing your hip to squeeze. Gliding his other hand along your side from your breasts.
You wrap your leg around Satoru's waist to keep him from pulling away. Hooking your ankles when Suguru lets it go of your thigh, grabbing your hip. Sinking his thick fingers into your soft hip crease.
𝐓𝐨𝐣𝐢 & 𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐮
Shiu and Toji look so mouth water, pussy drooling handsome. Showing them to the guest house, you couldn't keep your gaze respectful or your hands to yourself. Laying the attitude on thicker, till Toji decided to make better use of your bratty mouth.
Gagging you with his cock, pressing your head down, spit runs down your chin and thick tears trickle down your cheeks. Toji grunts, "Since someone wasn't taught some manners. We'll haven't fuck it into ya. I say we shouldn't let her cum." Shiu roughly smacks both of your cheeks, whining from the pleasurable warm sting.
He glides in a third finger into your dripping wet cunt. Your cunt squelching loudly, your slick dripping down your thighs. Shiu pumps his fingers faster, roughly slapping your cheek when Toji bottoms out.
Straightening out instantly at the thought of being denied cumming on their cocks. You plead with both "Nnn, lemme cum I'll be good. Just wanted your attention. Please let me cum, I'll be the best whore take it however you want." Toji stuffs your mouth, gliding himself into your throat.
He loudly groans when you gag around him. The sound goes straight to your pussy and helps you ignore the ache in your jaw. Toji is monstrously thick, with a proud length. You want him to break your sensitive cunt.
Toji croons, "Pretty little brat cryin' already, hear that she wants our attention. Wants ta be our cum dump." Squeezing your neck, pulling his cock out, and spitting in your face.
Sticking your tongue out, looking up into Toji's handsome face. He roughly shoves you down on his cock, making you take every inch without mercy. Using your mouth for his pleasure, choking you with his large, rough hand.
Shiu finally decides, "I think she should squirt for us. Drench out cocks and cum for our pleasure, her beautiful slopping cunt would feel so good trying to milk us of cum." You hear his pants unzip and your pussy clenches. He glides his fingers out. Lining his head up, you moan around Toji's cock. Shiu is so thick!
Pushing your hips back trying to take more of Shiu than just the tip. Toji yanks you forward by your neck. Gliding his cock out, "Want to see the face she makes when her tiny hole gets stretched." Even after taking three of Shiu's thick fingers, there is a pleasurable burn from just his head.
You're jaw drops, and your eyes roll back. Toji spits in your face, smearing it around on your lips with his thumb. "Filthy slut, how many of your dad's friends have you fucked?" Your phone buzzes from an incoming call, gaining Toji's attention. Picking it up to put the call on speaker.
Shiu stops, looking back at him pouting. Not caring about a guy you fucked around with in the past wonders, "Wanna hang rn?" Bouncing your hips, gliding your soaking wet cunt on his thick, hard cock whining. Admiring Shiu's muscular build as he takes his shirt off, dropping it on the floor.
Shiu grabs your hips, roughly pulling you back to meet his thrust. Setting a harsh, quick pace that has your toes clenching. His hips slapping your sore ass, heavy cum filled balls smacking your clit. Shiu grins at you when Toji grabs your chin holding the phone close to your face. Sticking your tongue out for Toji to fuck your mouth more.
Ignoring David saying, "I can pull up. You weren't answerin' my text - what's that sound?" Toji snickers, lining his cock up with your mouth. Slapping your tongue with his heavy, veiny cock.
Shiu speaks up, "She's busy being our cock sleeve. She wants my cock so badly she backed her ass up on it. Takin' it like a slut." Moaning loud, your cunt clenching Shiu's veiny toe curling thick cock.
Toji states, "She won't be able to walk when we're done with her. N' just in case you didn't know this," He thrusts his cock deep into your throat, "is what she sounds like gagging on a better cock than your own." Hanging up right after, tossing your phone aside on the bed.
strawberry brat all works
12K notes · View notes
willows-peak · 9 months
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*・゚✧ How the JJK characters show their love for u (love languages)
tags: multi character x reader, gn! reader, fluff, just overwhelming amts of fluff
word count: 1.3k
a/n: im starting off with some fluff, bc they all deserve some soft loving <3
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⋆。˚ ♡ PHYSICAL TOUCH: light squeezes of your hand, hugs from behind, leaning on your shoulder on the train, holding your wrist while you walk together, no matter what their hands are on you. they just love you too much to keep away from you, can you blame them? the feeling of you against their skin makes them feel happier than they could ever expect, even when they're coming across as clingy sometimes.
nobara will tug on your sleeve until you oblige and follow her around the mall, your hand either taken by your girlfriend's or the brightly colored shopping bags she'd acquired over your trip. some for her, some for you, because she was just dying to put you in some of the shirts she'd seen around the mall. and she's smile and kiss your cheek when you went with her requests with no fuss
yuuji will take no liberties in picking you up at any point. greeting you? you're up in the air before you can say 'hello'. god help you if you even mention being tired, because he will carry you in his arms without a moments hesitation, holding you close to his chest and claiming he can't in good conscious let you walk while tired! as your boyfriend, its his job to take care of you
gojo will never ever hesitate to embarrass you with how doting he can get. dramatically gasping whenever he sees you in his kitchen making a snack and rushing over to you, pressing kiss after kiss to your face and squeezing you while praising the heavens he's able to see you today, ignoring how you turned your face away and whined at him to lay off
⋆。˚ ♡ WORDS OF AFFIRMATION: with someone like you, how do you expect them to keep their mouth shut? they can never get enough of the way you blush or laugh at their compliments, or their daily vows of love. "you're a great cook, dear." if you made them a meal, or fawning over how great you look today, despite you being dressed in loose pajamas with a messy bedhead. they need you to always know how in love they are, constantly.
sukuna, surprisingly, can offer quite a few bits of praise to you through the day. while you may have to pause and figure out his wording to actually receive a compliment at times, that doesn't change how he'll always show his approval of you in his own way. he never fails to acknowledge your effort in something, patting your shoulder and congratulating you on whatever you did.
nanami is always straight to the point when he speaks, wasting no extra time to dance around a subject and often being more blunt than necessary with his words. and that carries over to how he loves you, of course. kissing the temple of your head, murmuring about how lucky he is to be with you, brushing hair out of your face while you lean in for a proper kiss.
⋆。˚ ♡ GIFT GIVING: plastic charms, figurines, hair clips, clothes, jewelry, stuffies, flowers, games, they're never ending. you're never not on their mind, so it's really impossible for them to be out and about without seeing some beautiful roses in a shop window and not hesitate at all with buying it for you. a single off handed comment about how you're a fan of something, and suddenly your arms are full of different kinds of merch. you've had to reorganize your room countless times to fit everything they've gotten you in there, and you're starting to look like a hoarder. but, it makes them happy, so what choice do you have?
getou could plant acres of flower fields with how much roses he'd gotten you. you can't even remember when you'd told him your favorite flower, the innocent seeming question still forcing you to fill up vase after vase of beautifully picked red roses. the amount of times getou had shown up to your door, hands behind his back with a smile plastered over his face at your weary sigh. "what did you get now, sugu..." "i don't have a clue what you mean, my love."
maki will take the extra step and take you with her when she gets a gift idea, finding the way you'd fret over her funds as she casually bought you yet another scarf she caught you eyeing much cuter than surprising you with it. this happens so often that she's caught you snapping your head forwards when letting your eye linger on something too long, making her laugh and peck your cheek before snatching it up before you could notice.
⋆。˚ ♡ QUALITY TIME: quiet nights, spent curled up next to each other simply enjoying the others presence. sitting next to you while you play your favorite game, throwing occasional questions at you and smiling when you eagerly answer them. sometimes they get sheepish at how in love they are, that you simply being there makes them feel happier than anything. but when you're cozied up next to them, snoring softly against their chest, they can't seem to care too much about anything else
megumi is the king of silent time together, claims it helps him study and plan for missions when nothing is happening around him. and while that's true, often times he will replace 'feeling lonely and wanting your company' with 'studying for an exam'. he's sure you aren't aware of what he truly means when he asks to come over though, even when he shows up with no textbooks or notes to 'study from', and immediately goes to cuddle up against you when you usher him inside your room.
choso is..very clingy lol. always following behind you wherever you go, sitting next to you with a soft smile even as you aimlessly scroll through your phone. he's so silent that you've forgotten his presence entirely a few times, yelping when you hear a low sigh or a shuffle of his hand against your own. you felt a little exposed at first, always being under surveillance by him, but you adjusted pretty quickly and accepted his way of affection.
⋆。˚ ♡ ACTS OF SERVICE: call it a hero complex, but they just adore being your knight in shining armor. holding the door open for you, finishing an assignment for you after learning how stressed you've been recently, wrapping their coat around you when it gets too chilly out, making your favorite meal just because they could. why should you have to do things when they're right there?
toji, despite having cast away his family name, was still raised by a traditional family. which meant he'd assigned himself to any hard work that needed to be done. plumbing, cleaning, repairing of any kind, he was on it. at first he did it out of habit, used to being forced to pick up any chore that others didn't feel like doing. but over time, the way you'd thank him and hug him tight when he did something for you made his heart melt. nowadays, he almost gets giddy when he hears your frustrated mumbling from across the room, happy to help you yet again with whatever you needed.
yuuta is really the sweetest thing... he's always ready to help you out, no matter how small the issue is. the mornings are his favorite, though, watching your chest rise and fall peacefully while sunlight slowly made its way across your sleeping form. he loves being able to tidy up your room and get breakfast ready for you while you peacefully sleep the sunrise away. he'd turn his head towards the hall as he heard your footsteps shuffle closer to him, a blanket draped over your sleepy figure as you greeted him.
inumaki, even with your reassurance, still feels guilty at times for not being able to talk with you how you're used to. deciphering rice ball ingredients in response to you asking when his is birthday isn't the simplest task, unfortunately. so, he always makes sure to show his love through simple tasks he can do for you. keeping extra snacks in his bag for when you get hungry during class, handing you his umbrella if he notices the sky beginning to dribble on your way home, even when you insist he keep it. he doesn't mind the rain if it's with you.
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carmenized-onions · 4 months
Text
Where To? | Delivery Fees
logline; Fix, after fix, after fix; at a point, you've gotta ask what you are.
[!!!] series history, this is the fifth; First, Second, Third, Fourth
portion; 8k+ (sorry, it's about to go down. Perfectly in time for your long Friday midnight read that you regret in the morning!)
possible allergies; birth/medical shenanigans (nothin' scary, tbh, unrealistic), Mikey heavy talks and thus, mentions of drug addiction, it's traumas, his death, and grieving! Tony makes a joke about being bisexual, and I simply can't apologize for this, I write the perspective I have, man.
pairing; Carmen ‘Carmy’ Berzatto & Fem Reader (aunt, mentions of bein' a mom, no pronouns? I think?)
this is by far, I think, the best (and longest) chapter so far, and if you don't leave me a paragraph (or several) detailing your thoughts and favourite moments, I will eat a lightbulb. And you will simply never hear from me again. Be warned,,,,,
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Everyone works fast and efficient. Hospitality is used in two places for a goddamn reason. A well-oiled machine can switch gears on a dime.
Sydney gets a clean table cloth sample from a pile of off-whites they’d been considering. She puts it down in the office, swiping it over the floor to cover up the grime. Does she close her eyes when she walks in, and trip over the chair on the ground? Yeah. But she’s trying to be respectful of Nat’s privacy, okay!?
Tina talks Nat through everything as she gets Nat to lay down, she finds your Carhartt jacket hanging the shelf, folds it, and tucks it under the small of Sug’s back for support.
Richie is in the front of house, yelling at Pete over the phone, both with disdain and love somehow? That’s fathers for you. Fak is respectfully standing in front of the office door with one pile of warm cloths and another pile dry. Was he yelled at when he initially tried to come in? Yes. He’s handing them off to Sydney as needed now.
You scrub your hands clean, dry them, then start rolling on prep gloves at the sink. An apron is thrown around you, you turn your head just so, to see Carmen behind you, tying the neck and then waist of your apron for you.
He’s focused on the knots, but he looks up at you for a split second, meeting your curious gaze, his only explanation is, “S’faster.” You refocus on your gloves, because you’ll go insane if you don’t. It’s a silent exchange.
When you’re both scrubbed and ready, Carmen takes the towels from Fak and you usher for him to switch places with Tina, who slips out along with Sydney.
Everyone else sits outside the office, hushed and worried, and it is just the three of you, in here. Technically four, if you think about it. He sits on his knees so Sugar can elevate her head on his lap. And on the other side of him, about to assist in the birth of his niece, between her legs, is you.
You situate yourself, hands at the ready to catch a baby, towel in your lap.
And if you can just pretend you’re wearing medical gloves instead of prep cook gloves, and scrubs instead of an old Beef apron, you can almost believe it’s three years ago and you’re riding in the back of an ambulance helping a new mom deliver a baby, and Mikey is still alive somewhere where you don’t know him yet. You shake your head out of it. There’s not time for this.
“Alright, you’re doing a great job, just keep breathing, just keep pushing— Sometimes talking helps, uh, with labour.”
“I— What should I talk about—?”
“Oh, uh—” You look up at Carmen as if it’s gonna help you, and in a way, it does, “Why don’t you tell me baby names you’ve been considering? You pick one out?”
“Oh, oh I— Christ— I was thinking maybe, maybe Michaela? Is that stupid? That’s stupid, isn’t it?” She warbles with a stinging level of insecurity.
“I don’t think it’s stupid, Sug.” Carmen’s quick to jump in, swiping her hair out of her eyes. You nod in agreement, backing him up. “I don’t think it’s stupid. It’s a sweet sentiment— Nobody gets to judge the way you mourn, Nat.”
She groans in pain, then groans more pitifully, like being struck with a sudden guilt, “Tony!”
“Yeah, yeah, Nat? I’m here.” You take her hand.
“I was being a bitch before in the bathroom!” She whines this out like a drunk girl’s confession.
You’re quick to lean forward to her, consoling her, as if she is in fact a drunk girl in the bathroom with you, “Nononono, you were fine— Hey, keep pushing, keep breathing— You weren’t bein’ any type a way, you’re good!”
“I was so judgy! I was just like my fucking mom— Oh my God— Am I gonna be my mom?!”
Carmen and you are lightning fast to usher and coo a myriad of denials and flat out ‘No’s. When he gets the chance, he looks up and whispers to you, “What did she say to you?”
He’s far too hung up on this, in this moment. You squint at him, whispering back, oozing with sarcasm, “She can still hear you.”
“I said— I said ‘didn’t see you at the funeral’! Like who says that!?”
Carmen should be looking at his sister, which makes his stare feels ten times more exposing, “You didn’t go to the funeral?”
You shrug, but you feel a mountain of guilt on that shrug, like fucking Atlas. “Neither did you.”
He squints back at you, head tilting just slightly, “Yeah, but—”
“You knew him so much better than we did and I just— You’re so intimidating!”
“Intimidating?” Looking at Carmen’s face, it doesn’t look like he disagrees. Which only shocks you all the more.
“Yes! You know, you’re— You’re—”
“You’re like Mikey.” Carmen finishes for her. She nods, deliriously, trying to focus on her breathing.
“In what way?” You’re way too interested in this conversation, Goddamn it, look at the baby forehead, not the boy.
“You don’t talk like him or nothin’, but—”
“It’s the air!” Sugar shrieks on ‘air’, white knuckle gripping your hand. “You just, you control the temperature— you make rooms easier to breathe in like he did— And I— I wanted to push to see you make it harder to breathe like he—Oh my God!”
“Nat, you’re doing a fantastic job. The head’s a quarter way out, you’re doing —great.” You nod to Carmen, and wordlessly he knows to take your absolutely shattered hand out of her grasp and replace it with his. “And I try my best, but I— Y’know what, this isn’t the time—”
“No! Please, God, keep going!” She is clinging to your words like a telenovela. “This is all I have to keep my mind off my vagina tearing open!”
You nod, you want to wring your hands together but you’re wearing latex gloves. “I just— I didn’t know your brother better than you did. I just— I just knew him when he wasn’t letting a lot of people know him.”
“How did— you become friends with Mikey?”
“Dad was a fixer—”
“No, I know how you met. How did you become friends?”
You pause. God, no one’s ever called you on it. You've always been able to get away with a mere list of factors.
“I, uh…. was a couple jobs in at the Beef, with my dad, and we’d spoken casually before, but I stepped out to get some air, and he was there, havin’ a smoke, and he offered to share, and when I said ‘Oh, I don’t smoke’, he—”
You soften at the thought, eyes distant, smirking. “He went ‘What, are you Amish?’ And I guess, we just… Became friends over how detached and different I was, from everything else in his life. I didn’t know anything about him before The Beef. I didn’t come with expectations or social circles to rat on him to. I was— I was basically Amish, to him.”
You were his lock box. You had no way of using anything he ever said against him, and even if you could, you never would.
He could bitch about his successful baby brother in Denmark, and also rave over how excited he was about his successful baby brother in Denmark. He could do impressions of his little sister's cringey husband, and also show his relief in the fact that she will always be loved. He could tell you how scared he was, he could tell you what Uncle Lee said—he couldn’t tell you he was using. No. He couldn’t tell you. But you would find out, when you had to administer Narcan on him as he was passed out in the back alley of The Beef.
From there, there was nothing you didn’t hear about, nothing he thought would be worth hiding, after that. A diary of confessions is carved into your heart. Your name is carved into your favourite booth at your second favourite diner, not two blocks from here. It’s all the same handwriting.
You didn’t know Mikey better than his siblings did, you just knew how he felt about the things they saw.
Natalie’s shrieking brings you back to earth, you re-cradle your hands for the very top of the baby’s head. Despite the pain she’s in, she was right, your talking really is helping her keep the focus off her pain, “Is—Is that why you didn’t go to the funeral?!” She’s not judgy or mad, she just can’t say anything without full screaming it.
“I don’t— I don’t know if this exact moment is the best time—”
“I decide what time it is!”
Carmen looks up at you, and for the first time, is wincing at the iron clad grip his sister has his hand in— Ironically, the one with the stabbing tattoo. He wheezes, “She— She decides what time it is.”
“Right.” You nod at both of them, eyes wide. Your tone is hasty, you’d rather explain yourself well, but now you just have to explain yourself fast because the baby’s head is three quarters of the way out.
“Well, I, uh, yeah— It was, it was tough. I didn’t— I didn’t want to watch a group of people I’d heard so much about, good and bad, walk up on stage in front of a closed casket— N’— N’ talk about like, cute childhood moments— When I—When I had seen, when I had only seen him at his worst. And I— I liked the Mikey I got, loved the Mikey I got, but I know those last two years were very different. And I guess— I guess, I didn’t wanna learn… What I missed.”
There’s a lot of reasons why you didn’t go to the funeral, but that’s the one you know she’s going to find the most digestible and make some semblance of sense out of, right now.
She nods, repeatedly, deliriously, Carmen holds her head still. “I’m— I’m sorry, Tony.”
“I forgive you, Sug.” You nod back, reassuring, a soft smile for but a moment. “Now breathe, and one last big push— Head’s almost out! Smooth sailing from there, you’re doing so good!”
Just as frantic as Natalie’s screaming, there’s doors slamming, yelling, and what sounds like tripping from outside the office, “Nat! I’m here! I’m here! I’m coming!”
“Oh! Hold it in, Pete’s here—”
“Sugar, again, I hate to tell you this, not how that works!”
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It’s about an hour later, you’re sitting out in front of The Bear, on the curb, with Syd.
Tina headed home as soon as she could to get back to her family. Richie said he’s on ‘daddy drop off’ for Eva tomorrow, so he had to head out— And he’s Fak’s ride, so he left too.
Once the baby had been delivered, and you’d screamed at calmly communicated to Carmen to get the exact time for the birth certificate, and Pete had rushed in and almost slipped on the wet sheets and cracked his head open— Everything was totally chill.
Pete’s driving his wife and daughter to Saint Anthony Hospital, where they’ll stay in holding for the next one to two days. Carmen refused to let you clean up on the basis of, ‘you just delivered my niece, get the fuck out’; and is inside, finishing that up. And so, you and Syd are perched up outside, getting some much-needed air, talking about nothing.
“That was fucking— crazy.”
“I think I should start smoking.” Is all you can reply, laughing shakily, eyes on the stars— Though there’s not many. Shout out light pollution. You hug your arms, still in the same outfit, apron-less, jacket-less, cold as fuck.
Syd laughs, “Yeah, that’s the move. For sure.” She sighs, sipping water from a deli cup she’d brought out. “...I’m never fuckin' having kids.”
“No, for sure.” You whistle, leaning back for dramatic effect, “I go back and forth on it a lot, and then I see a mom giving birth or dealing with her goblins and I’m like—”
You look to each other, speaking at the same time, “Free birth control!”
“Genuinely!” You snort, laughing through the words, “I leave cat food out on my fire escape for this one stray on my block, and I think that is as committal as I’m willing to get with taking care of creatures.”
She sniffs, looking at you more peculiarly, still smiling, “I think you’d be a good mom, though.”
Your amused grin sobers into a wistful smile, “I think you’d be a good one, too. Both like taking care of people.”
She punches your shoulder, softly, obviously. “You came through in an insane way, tonight.” When you try to wave it off, she doubles down, “I literally do not know what would’ve happened without you. The Bear is literally in your debt—And—And— You ditched your date, for us.”
You sigh, though smiling, “Syd, it wasn’t—” “It was bad? It was so bad you were kinda wishing this would happen?”
The house lights of The Bear shut off and Carmen comes out as you respond, locking the door behind him.
“I cannot fathom a date so bad that I actively hope my friend’s sister goes into labour and needs me to deliver her kid.”
“So it wasn’t bad?” She leans forward onto her knees, like she’s about to get the daily scoop.
“Not what I said, no, you keep cuttin—”
“You cold?” It’s Carmen who cuts you off this time, standing behind you both. You turn your head to him, still hugging your shoulders. He looks …stiffer than usual? Tense? You can’t tell the adjective, he just looks… Different. Or maybe it’s just a default you’ve never noticed. But you think you would’ve noticed.
You stand up, as does Syd. “Oh, yeah. I thought I’d like… Rinse my Carhartt before I wear it again. I’m good, though.”
He pauses where he is, like he’s computing, then shakes his head, “Don’t act tough.” And takes off his jean-fleece jacket, holding it out for you. Who are you to refuse that?
When you reach for it, he pivots in time to put the sleeve over your arm for you, then the other. You quickly recall the walk-in, and suddenly this feels like divine retribution. God, it’s weird to be cared for in return. God, he cares for you? Don’t start ruminating right now, holy shit—
“Thanks.” You cough, awkwardly, looking to Syd, pointing your fingers to both of them. “Ride? Ride?”
Syd holds her bag over her shoulder, and you can already tell what she’s gonna say. “I’ll take the—”
“If you say L instead of my fuckin’ car, it’s your ass, Adamu.” It’s past twelve. No way.
“…I’ll take the ‘your fucking car’, please.” She bows her head down, you throw your arm over her shoulder, dragging her with you. “That's my girl!”
You turn your head over your shoulder to Carmy, his weird different demeanour has somewhat melted away, good enough. “You comin? I’m holding your jacket hostage this time, so you kinda have to.”
He follows close behind you two, sheepish. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll take the ride.”
“Who wants to sit in the back?”
“Isn’t the hot-seat s’posed to be shotgun?” Syd questions.
“You know, people say that, but that’s for when you wanna socialize, when it’s late you wanna sprawl in the back and pretend you’re the last person on earth.”
“You make a compelling argument, my friend.” Syd taps her nose, grinning. She calls to Carmy behind her. “I call the back!”
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“Is it bad if I don’t check on my dad, while I’m here?” You park in front of Syd’s place. You know it well, your dads live on the same block. “No, right? It’s twelve in the morning and no matter what you both say, I think I do still smell vaguely of afterbirth.”
“If I were your dad, I think I would prefer to not be visited, right now, yeah.” Syd nods, taking her seat-belt off.
“Woww,” You eye her through the rear-view mirror, “You don’t love your daughter, Syd? Wouldn’t get up at midnight for me?” Carmen laughs from the sidelines into his fist, leaned against the window.
“Of course I would, my sweet child!” She snickers, reaching forward to pinch and pull your cheek, you slap her hand away. “Alright, fuck off.”
When she pulls back and goes to grab her stuff, you remember. “Oh! There should be a lil’ gift bag, somewhere on the ground back there?”
“Yeah,” She procures the bag, lifting it up to her head for you to see. “This thing?”
You nod, “Open it.”
“Oh what!?” She groans, before even opening it, “You got me a present and have saved me twice? Did you kill a loved one of mine or something?”
You laugh, shrugging. “Bloodlust is insatiable. But, y’know, I’m proud of you for opening and getting Head, I wanted to commemorate, or whatever.” You shove Carmen’s shoulder, getting his attention, “Yours is coming, by the way, I just need a lil’ more time on it.”
He seems perplexed by the idea that you’re getting him a gift, even though you already told him you would, but he nods. Syd unbags her present, “What…?”
In a small box, with a clear lid so she can see through, is a white Dickie peter pan style collar. Tacked onto both lapels are gold circular collar pins. On the left one, it has the initial S, and the other A; both in gold over a white background. A thin gold chain connects the two pins, across the neck. All fake gold, duh, you’re not rich. But it’s still gorgeous. And thoughtful.
“‘You lose all sense of identity, in a restaurant.’” You repeat her own words back to her, looking at her through the rear-view mirror, smiling. “I thought maybe a little extra personal touch on the uniform would help with that. The collar’s really just to explain how the fuck it works, but I also sweat so much in your kitchen, so I thought it could be use—” Syd cuts into your ramblings, swinging her arm over your headrest to hug you, more like choke. But with love, so you hug her arm back. “—Full.”
“You’re a great daughter, Tony.” She squeezes. “Thank you.” You just squeeze her arm back.
She shows the gift off to Carmen, who seems genuinely impressed, he can’t stop glancing between the gift and you. You remember things. “Beautiful, Chef.”
“Oh, oh oh, before you go—” You snap your fingers, “I’m coming to the wedding gig, fuckin’ uh… Vickie and Merman? That can’t be right…”
“You’re coming to Vinnie and Mira’s wedding?” Ah, count on Carmen to know names. It's his family, after all. Or family adjacent? Unsure.
You nod, “Bartending. Cicero got me. You’re catering?”
He nods, “30k is 30k.” Syd backs him up. “It’d be fucking stupid, if we said no, especially since they’re taking expenses.”
“We should like, coordinate or something—” “Wait!”
Syd interrupts, clutching the shoulders of your seat and Carmen’s. “When did you see Cicero?”
“Uh, couple hours ago? When you were spamming?”
Syd squints, looking into the middle distance like she’s just cracked a case wide open. Hot outfit. Denial of dates. Cicero. “Oh my god... Cicero’s your sugar daddy?”
“What?!” Lightning speed, both you and Carmen yell. Probably for entirely different reasons and confusions.
“No! Syd, I was at work—” “Well, it is a type of job—” “I am not doing any sort of code for Sugar Baby activities! I was at a real place of business and he was there, he asked me to bartend, he said y’all would be there.” You gesture with your hands wildly as a form of enunciation.
“Right…” She opens the door behind her, eye contact un-breaking. “I’m gonna figure you out…”
You roll your eyes, waving goodbye with one hand, flipping her off with the other. “Text me your hotel plans for New York, loser. We can split a room.”
“Okay, loser! See you. See you tomorrow, Carm!” She waves you off, shutting the car door behind her. Carmen waves back to her. Once she’s safely inside, he turns to you. You speak before he can.
“Listen, there’s something about being around your childhood friend, and also around your old neighbourhood, dropping her off at home like you used to in high school, that makes you completely age regress into a sixteen-year-old.”
He smiles, putting his hands up in defense. “I didn’t say shit.”
“I could feel the judgment, radiating.”
“I, I wasn’t—” He chuckles awkwardly, scratching his nose to hide his eyes. “I thought it was cool. To uh, see, a different side to—to both of you.”
“Awe.” You pull off the curb, driving off. “Wonder what you were like, as a teen.”
He laughs, “A fuckin’ loser, is what.”
“Eh, I was too.”
“No, you weren’t.”
“Oh? We go to the same fuckin’ high-school, Berzatto?” You flick your gaze from the road to him for a moment. “I think I would’ve remembered.”
He rolls his eyes, though you don’t see it, back on the road. “You wouldn’t have been a loser. Not like, like me level loser, at least.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Too nice.”
“That’s true. I was an angel.” You hum. “I was well known but not popular, I tended to hang out with the more fringe people. Also, I was fucking depressed, I missed like, half my junior year with fake sick days.”
“Hm.” He crosses his arms, leaning against the head rest, tilting his vision to you. “I would’ve thought you were cool.”
“I would’ve thought you were cool, too.” You smile. “I bet we would’ve been friends.”
He just hums in reply, not confirming or denying, lost in thought. He tilts his head back to look at the road. You speak up after a moment, “Where are we headed, by the way?”
 He straightens up in his seat immediately, leaning forward. “Oh, oh right, fuck, directions—”
“That, but also like, I can drop you somewhere else— Like, not home.”
“Like?”
Like your place. “Like uh, I dunno, if you wanted to go to the hospital? If you’re like… A hospital family?”
He snorts, “A hospital family?”
“Like, for my nephew, I didn’t go to the hospital, I met him a week later. But you did already meet your niece— So maybe you get a pass?”
“Yeah, I don’t think we’re a hospital family, anymore, anyways.” Ah. The silent knowing. The glue that was there is gone. “You have a nephew?”
“Yeah, you wanna see photos?”
“Oh, uh, yeah—”
“I’m fucking with you.” You chuckle, “No one wants to see photos. But I do have a nephew.” You click your teeth. “You have now joined me at Aunt and Uncle status, people will congratulate you despite the fact that you contribute nothing to becoming one. Congratulations.”
You reach a hand out, awkwardly shaking his hand for a second before right back to the wheel. It’s hard to move one hand up and down and also drive. Carmen just shakes his head, chuckling. A win.
“We could also go shopping.” You shrug. “Buy your niece some baby shit? Or, you’re tired, so I should probably just drop you—”
“Let’s go shopping, yeah.” He’s quick to interrupt, pivoting to face you. Anything to keep the night going, with you. “If uh, if you want.”
“There’s always something I need to re-up on, I’m down.” You nod to him, more specifically, his phone in his lap. “Can you find the nearest 24/7 department store, for me?”
“Yeah, yeah.” He fiddles with his phone, getting directions, then balances it on the console so you can see. There’s a lull of comfortable silence as the adrenaline from you two delivering a fucking baby wears off. God, the trauma bond between you is as thick as a lead pipe at this point. You can’t tell if that’s a good thing. You don’t want to find out.
He’s first to break the silence. “Left up here.” Just reading you the directions, and then tacks on, as you take the left. “…Where were you, when we called?”
You groan, though smiling, “Not you fuckin’ too, Carmy!”
“I—” He laughs, disingenuous, you can tell. “I just wanna know, if, if we really did interrupt somethin’ for you.”
“You wanna know if I went on a date.” Not a question, a statement.
His mouth opens, shuts, opens. He shrugs. “A little.”
“Why, you wanna ask me out?”
What. What. What. What. Why— Where— Who—Huh? Crash the car. Why did you say that? Why would you say that? Crash the car right now. Veer into that streetlamp. Kill both of you. Instantly. Those should be your last words. Do it. Do it!
You cough, clearing your throat after a solid one second of silence— Eons too long. “I was— I was actually at work. Not lying to make you feel better. Didn't ruin shit, for me.” You’re certain you’re fumbling this, as you fake laughter at your cool joke, definitely a joke because he literally broke up with his girlfriend yesterday and that was an insane thing to say. Disrespectful, even.  
He’s silent, for a good few seconds, which again, centuries. If you were looking at him instead of the road, you’d see he looks like a deer in headlights, but like, a deer that is somewhat hoping he does get hit by that car.
“…What’s your work?” He flits between you and the GPS. “Straight through this intersection.”
“Bartender.”
“What bar?”
“You wouldn’t know it.”
“That’s why I’m asking. Take a right up here.”
You turn your head to look right, and also at him. He’s looking at you expectantly. You grimace, taking the turn. He’s not gonna let this go. “…Eden’s.”
He squints. “…Isn’t that—”
“VIP bar and club, yes.”
He backs up in his seat, thinking. Prodding at his inner cheek. “You’re a—”
“Alright, I’m a fuckin’ bottle girl, Carm!” You groan, wanting to say the realization before he could. “I do bar too— And I have been a sommelier, but yes, I am a fuckin’ ‘throw around bottles with flashlights strapped to them’ girl.”
“Turn into there, up left.” He crosses his arms, you’ve raised your voice but he hasn’t. “Is it… Good?”
You sigh, “Tips are good. And I tend to get put on bar. I’m only on-call, it’s just when they’re down someone and I’m down on services for the month.”
He nods, slow, pensive. You shrug, turning into the lot of the department store. A Target. The nice Target, too. “Gotta make rent somehow, y’know?”
He nods again, very clearly lost in thought. You park the car, in a relatively empty lot. He’s still thinking; you turn to him. “…You good, Carm?”
He turns his head up to you, at a molasses like speed. The gears are visibly turning in his head. “What if you worked at The Bear?”
“…Huh?”
“You could, you could do bar.”
“You don’t have a bar.”
“You could make drinks, in the back. We don’t have a drinks guy.”
You take a deep breath, thinking. That is really, what you want. You’d be at The Bear, every day. It’d feel like home. You’d spend time with your second family instead of an ever-turning roster of old male customers. Your coworkers at Eden aren’t bad, but you never quite clicked as family. Not like you did at The Beef. Not like you did at The Bear. You’re staring at Carmen, and his face is slowly morphing into a golden ticket.
Carmen wants you to quit. Carmen’s maybe never wished for the downfall of someone’s career more than right now. Or maybe it’s an uptick? He wants your success, really. The Bear would be an upgrade. You’d be at his restaurant, in his uniform. In the back, making drinks, where no one’s going to look at you, whistling, turning heads. You could make him lavender coffee, every morning. He could put it on the menu. You could work on a cocktail menu together. An evening coffee menu, too, maybe. He could spend the rest of his miles to send you to Paris, have you visit wineries to learn about different types of grapes and shit. He could come with you, maybe, if he got the time off. Who’s he kidding. He’ll never get the time off. But you could send him photos. An entire lifetime is rolling on in Carmen’s head, as he waits for your answer.
“You can hire me.”
There’s a wreath of grapevines, cascading over your shoulders, but then you poke his shoulder, and— “When—” they vanish. “—You can afford to.”
He squints, heart stuttering. “We-We can afford—”
“No the fuck you can’t.” You interrupt, shaking your head. “You and Syd are unpaid, right now, I’m not coming on until I see you cashing cheques.”
The coffee in his head hasn’t gone cold just yet. “But you will come work for us?”
You smile, nodding. You put your hand out for him to shake on it, he does. “You’ve got a promised bartender, Berzatto.”
He’s beaming, he’s trying to hide it, but his eyes are too bright for one in the morning. It’s impossible to not see it. But he keeps his cool persona, just nodding. “Cool. That's cool. Let’s uh, let’s—”
You smack your thigh, opening your car door. “Let’s get fucking going!”
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It’s a ghost town in the store. You’re pretty sure you could rob this place blind, and not a single worker would bat an eye— If there’s even an employee here right now. You stroll through aisles relatively quickly— Carmen doesn’t have to wake up insanely early tomorrow, since The Bear doesn’t currently have a morning schedule— But he does have to get up at a decent time for Syd, who’s coming over to rework the menu.
Yeah, he took your advice. He’s working on being a better partner. He’s even grabbing ingredients that spark something in him, mumbling cooking terms you couldn’t utter back to him if you tried. It’s a stunning sight, to watch him work in this way. In his element.
Which makes him, in the Children’s Department, completely out of his element, look so much funnier.
“What the fuck do you buy a baby?” He stares down the aisle, alarmed, confused, possibly a touch scared. He turns his head to you, expectant, as though you’re a prophet who’ll save him. “What the fuck did you get your nephew?”
You shrug, counting on your hand. “A Peter Rabbit book, a teething toy that doubles as a stuffy, and a onesie—Or I think they’re called rompers? When they don’t go all the way to the feet?”
He squints, scratching behind his ear. “Do they use any of that shit, when they’re new?”
“No.” You deadpan. “But, my brother reads to him at night and baby switched from holding to teething pretty easy when the time came. Clothes are honestly the most useless. They outgrow that shit in two seconds.”
He nods, looking nowhere, thinking. “Bear and book?”
“Bear and book. Plus something for your sister.”
“Like what?”
“I’m not giving away my ideas.”
“You’re getting her something?”
“How haven’t you gotten my love language is acts of service and gifts at this point?”
“You could gift me with an idea.”
You cannot bite back the smile on your face. You shake your head and roll your eyes, walking ahead to get the bear and book. “I’m getting her a heating pad. You can get her bubble bath shit.”
The bear is cute. It’s incredibly squishable, he’s got adorable heart shaped nose and blue instead of pink on his ears. You’re holding the babe, since Carmen’s basket is full of groceries and you didn’t want to get the sweet little gentleman dirty. Carmen does not like that you keep calling the bear a sweet little gentleman. You do it more.
You offer up the Berenstain Bears for a book, he simply walks away from you. Oh, suddenly it’s bad to make this child’s life entirely bear themed? What world do we live in? You agree on Frog and Toad.
You split up for a couple minutes, he’s getting soaps on one end of the store, you’re getting a heating pad on the other. Plus the smallest bottle of bleach you can find.
It is a bizarre sight, you imagine, for the greeters watching you. Walking around, clutching a bear to your chest, holding a bottle of bleach in one hand, a boxed up electric heating pad in the other. Wearing a jean jacket that’s both a little too big for you and yet too small to button over your chest—and if they’re paying attention, underneath, a red leather corset. God, it’s one in the morning. Your makeup has probably melted off by now.
When you meet back up, he’s in the Hygiene aisle, relaxing bubble bath with Epsom salts already in his basket. Good Carm, he learns fast. Even better, he’s in the Men’s Hygiene section.
…Staring at Old Spice scents.
Your entire system completely reboots for no good reason. You blue screen mid-step. Thank God, his back is to you, so he doesn’t catch this. You sidle up next to him, coolly, squatting down to look at the scents on the bottom shelf.
“Every lesbian I know uses Wolfthorn.”
He turns his head to look down at you, flattening his lips in a line to not laugh. “You want me to smell like a lesbian?”
You tilt your head to look up at him, shrugging. “You currently smell like a bisexual.”
He still smells like you. Well, mostly he smells like seared meat and fish, but underneath that, he smells like your soap and shampoo.
He snorts, taken aback slightly by the subtle come out, covering the bottom half of his face with his free hand.
“You should get the fuckin…” You stand, finger waving over the bottles looking for the right one. “The relaxing one. Get all the advantages you can.”
He hums, “You like lavender?”
“In doses.” You shrug, swallowing. He thinks you’re intimidating? You feel like you’re under a microscope, the way he looks to you. “I get a headache, when it’s too strong.”
He nods, grabs the Bearglove scented one, and starts walking. Not letting you question the choice. You hurriedly follow after, heading to the self-check-out with him. He walks and talks. “What’s with the bleach?”
You stare at him for a long while, squinting. He stops walking to face you. “What?”
“I’m debating whether or not I tell you.”
“Are you gonna poison me?”
You click your teeth and snap your fingers, ‘awe shucks’. “You’ve foiled my plan.”
He smiles, but looks at you expectantly. You shrug, you must acquiesce. “It’s for your present.”
“You said you hate the painting in The Bear, so I’m making you a new one.”
It’s his turn to blue screen. You add, “If you end up hating it, you don’t have to put it up, but I wanted to take a shot at making a piece that’s you, like you wanted.”
All he can bring himself to do is nod, because if he doesn’t, he’ll spill his guts in the middle of this Target.  “I’ll hold off on getting a new one, then.”
He taps his card before you can, when you use self-checkout. He shrugs when you grumble about this. “I owe you gas money.”
“You did not owe me thirty dollars of gas money.”
“Then I’ve got credit in advance.”
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It’s half past one in the morning, when you park in front of his place. Two nights in a row, this is gonna fuck with your schedule… Eh, when did you ever really have a schedule?
“Thank you.” He turns to you with a striking certainty, swallowing. “Like. For everything. I think I could’ve died every single day for the past few days, if you weren’t there.”
When you open your mouth to brush off the thank you, because he knows you’ll brush off the thank you, he hovers a finger in front of your face, shushing you. “Don’t give me that ‘no big deal’ shit, neither. It’s been a big fuckin’ deal to me.”
You sigh, nodding, you take his hand where it hangs in the air, bringing it down. You’re still holding it. You’re hoping he forgets that you are. He absolutely won't. “…I just don’t like it when people feel like they owe me. Other than, y’know, doing actual handyman shit for money.”
He nods, “I don’t feel like I owe you. I want to pay it back.”
You shrug, “You’ve fed me every day. So, that’s kind of a huge return.”
“You delivered a baby.”
“Listen, I’m just trying to make you feel better.” You lift your hands in defense, letting go of his hand. You regret it. “I’m very cool, we know.”
“You are.” He chuckles, but his words are sincere. Why is he looking at you so hard?
“What?” You cross your arms, looking back at him.
“You delivered a baby.” He repeats, wonderment in his voice.
You nod. “Not the first time. Which is lucky, not every paramedic has experienced a code O-B. I don’t wanna give you an unrealistic expectation.”
“How was that?”
“The code O-B?”
He tilts his head back and forth, ‘kinda’. “Being a paramedic.”
“Hard.” You nod, straightening up. “Hard. Went to school for two years, straight out of high school. Spent three years as a first responder. It was… Fucked. I cut like...”
You chuckle when you say it, shaking your head, but the feeling isn’t amusement, “Everyone out of my life. Not on purpose, just by design. The hours are insane, obviously, and my co-workers… Like, you expect to be the youngest in the room, and so, when you’re surrounded by kids your age, breaking some grandma’s ribs, doing C-P-R in the back of a shrieking, speeding truck…” You trail off, looking down.
“It’s uh… It was tough, yeah.” You sniff, not crying, just filling silence, looking back up at him.
He nods, “…That sounds pretty fuckin’ tough, yeah.” He’s thankful that you gift him with a laugh, however dry. “And you just switched to, to handiwork?”
You shrug, so-so. “I would’ve kept doing it, is the thing. Which is kinda scary to say. But, basically— In the free time I did have, my dad, who owned Chicago’s Kindest, would ask me to come fix shit with him— Which, would seem tiring, but he really just made me hold a flashlight and hand him shit, most of the time. It was more like… His dad way of asking to hang out.”
“And uh, it’s a old family business, right. He’s been doin’ that shit since I was born. And uh, when he started—” You flex your hands and fingers, cracking them, staring at them. “Gettin’ arthritis and all the other fun old people weaknesses, I started working and he started holding the flashlight… It was kind of a no brainer, when he told me he had to retire. To make the switch, I mean.”
You click your teeth, looking back up at him after a moment, “Sorry, I’m fuckin’ talking too much—” “No, no.”
“I— I, It’s good when you talk too much.” You do not notice the way his jaw grinds, for just a second. Cursing himself out in his head for bowing out at the last minute there.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
You lean your arm on the shoulder of your seat, then your head against your arm. “Yeah, good bedtime story, at least.” You check the time on your phone. Almost two. “You’ve gotta fuckin’ go to bed. You’re probably gonna need to meet with Uncle J, anyways.”
“…Oh fuck.” He rubs his hand over his face when he realizes.
You continue, nodding, cringing for him. “Maternity leave, catering gig— You’re in for a fuckin’ day tomorrow, Berzatto. Need your beauty sleep.”
He swallows, nodding repeatedly, head in hands. “Yeah, yeah, I do.” He laughs, halfheartedly. “Thank you. Uh, for all the shit, again, and the ride. And the detour.”
You shrug, “Welcome. More fun with you, anyways.”
He nods, eyes going from straight at you to literally anywhere else. He fiddles with the door handle for a moment, though he’s turned towards you, not the door. It looks like he’s having a wrestling contest with his own brain. You’re not sure who, but someone wins. “I, I uh, do want to, by the way.”
You furrow your brows, a little worried, honestly. “Want to do what?”
“Ask you out.”
It’s sort of like, all the facilities of your stupid brain shut off. You think the teenager tripped over an important wire and every thought and ability to contextualize feelings has left. The same has happened to him, of course, and now it just comes down to both of your now palaeolithic brains to rapid fire responses to each other.
He adds, “Not right now, but, eventually. After, y'know, we— we know each other better.”
You nod. He continues, rambling. “And I’ve— I can’t split my time, right now. I’ve gotta-gotta focus on The Bear, right now, and- and Syd, right now.”
“That should be priority, yeah.”
“—I’m not expecting you to wait—Or-Or even say—.”
“I will.”
It’s his turn to go mum. You play with the stray baby hairs on the back of your neck, explaining.
“The timing right now, like, could not be worse for you.”
“Right.”
“You just started a new business,” “—Yeah—” “That you’re 800k in the hole for,” “—A little less—” “You just went through a break up.”
“Not a rebound.” He’s quick to assure, with a certainty. “If that’s—If that’s a concern.”
You smile, shaking your head, “Not a concern for me, concerned for you. I just wanted to agree with you, that the time for it isn’t right now.”
He laughs, softly, through an exhale. “You don’t wanna convince me otherwise?”
You laugh, shaking your head. You straighten up, putting your hands down. You feel bolder. He’s sort of asked you out, he’s called you pretty, he smells like you, you’re wearing his jacket, he’s staring at your mouth. No risky half-joke is gonna get rid of you now. Probably.
“I’m not gonna lie to you, just so you’ll fuck me, Carm.”
It’s like, a sleeper agent activates, in his brain. Like you’ve done the fucking Konami code. He goes from nerve wracked to nerve wracking. Reaching over the console, fast, hand on the back of your head, pulling you while also meeting you in the middle— And he’s about to go for it, not give you a second to reject him, before he thinks better. Well, kind of.
Holding you there, “I’m going to kiss you.” It’s not posed as a question, but it’s functioning as one.
You stare, wide eyed, taking in his features. Taking in his already waning confidence. “…Sure.”
And he does. And he’s realizing, as he pushes you towards him, pressing his mouth to yours, that this is so so so different, from Claire. You are not going to distract him— In a good way. You wouldn’t let him. You’re prioritizing him, even when that means you need to wait on him. You want to know him, first. He wants to know you. You were being funny, sure, when you said you wouldn’t lie to fuck him— But God, think of how much that means. He sure is. And now, that he knows you have so much respect for his work, his mind, his body, and are happy to just get to know him as a friend first—to give him the space and time he needs— He immediately wishes he'd never asked for said space.
He's holding your head to him, unyielding—Unless you signalled otherwise, but you haven’t yet. At the same time, he’s also pushing your shoulder back, pushing you back, leaning over the center console. He's realizing he's never really gotten the idea of wanting to give oneself and take another. He’s taking in everything, taking everything you’re willing to give.
He knows your conviction well enough, at this point, when it comes to others. He’s asked for time, and that essentially means, the second he stops, he’s going to be locked off from doing this again. He has to give everything—then take everything he can. Ration it out, over weeks. God, what if it’s months? You wouldn’t hold this from him for months, surely?
You tap his neck, gently, and he swears he hears— Feels a gasp. A moan? Don’t think about it. He pulls away, just a few centimetres. He smells like you. He still smells like you. Staring. Soft, scary, eye contact. It’s two in the morning, your makeup has melted, your lip gloss has evaporated, but it doesn’t look like it. No. They’re perfectly wet, blush pink bottom lip. Don’t think about it. He thinks about it; he doesn’t think about his next sentence. You speak at the same time, and for the first time, don’t say the same thing.
“Do you wanna come up?”
“You’ve gotta go, Carmy.”
He shakes his head; you can’t be serious. You’re so sweet, and now you’d be so cruel? You laugh at him, incredulous. He swallows, correcting himself, “Come up and—And sleepover, just that. Make you breakfast, again.” He kisses you, again, selfish. He knows that. He’s at peace with it.
“Carmy,” Good start, that deserves a kiss. “—as much as I’d love to see your apartment—”
“You’d hate it.” He cuts you off, God, it looks like you’re gonna keep talking, and he’s going to have to respect that. He switches to your jawline. “I don’t have a bookshelf.”
“You— Hold on, you don’t have a bookshelf, Carmen?”
“Don’t say my name like that.”
“Don’t bite! How many books do you have?”
“Ninety-one. Cookbooks. I narrowed down for the move.”
“Where do you— Christ— Keep ninety-one books?”
“Floor.”
“Floor?!”
“I told you you’d hate it.”
“I don’t hate it, I just— You deserve to have nice things.”
He pulls back again, staring at you, practically wheezing he’s breathing so heavy. He thinks on it for a second, this time. He wants nice things, too. You make him believe he deserves nice things. You're why he took a chance, took a risk, and told you he wanted to see if more could happen. He believes he deserves nice things. Nice you.“Come up.”
This motherfucker is evil, you think. He’s asked you to hold a conviction, asked you to hold a level of patience, for him. And you’re trying so hard to hold that conviction— While he’s actively trying to make you break it the second he’s decreed it. You’re hanging by a thread here. You cradle his face in both hands, kissing him on your own accord, this time. He takes this as meaning he’s supposed to go insane again. You laugh, and that makes it hard for him to not laugh too, which makes it hard to kiss you.
“Carmy.” You hold him back by his shoulders, just slightly. Giggling. You’re smiling, he can get you to fold, if he puts his mind to it. “You’ve got Syd coming over in the morning, all week—”
“Not until noon.”
“Baby, not the point.” Oh, pet names. Good. You called him Sweetheart when he was locked in the freezer, and that was all his brain had to work with until now. God, why did he say he wanted to get to know you first? You can do two things at the same time. You're multi-faceted.
“The sooner—” You wheeze, looking at him, he looks insane. “The sooner you go get sleep, the sooner the morning will come, the week will go by, you’ll start being able to pay yourself, soon enough. I’ll become your barback, you’ll be able to take time for yourself, and you’ll ask me out.”
He stares at you, thinking. “…I don’t think it’d go any faster—” “Carmen!” You squeeze his face with one hand. “Bedtime!”
He nods, finally, escaping his fugue state. “Okay.” He reaches into the back to grab his grocery bags. Christ, don’t look at the midriff, motherfucker, lock in! Lock it in!
You start to peel off his jean jacket to return it, he’s quick to stop you.
“Keep it. Wear it to work. Til you quit.” He looks at you, considering something once again, groceries in hand. “…Wear this too.”
After he finally gets out, and you wave to him from your window, waiting for him to get inside safely. You drive off, heading home. You take a long fucking breath. Slowly, your motor skills and cognitive abilities return to you.
You take one hand off the steering wheel, fishing out your rope chord necklace from your pocket. You rub your thumb over the plastic pendant, a year-old self-soothing method, by now.
You think about something Mikey said off-handedly, quite often, you squint, staring at the road ahead, perplexed, driving home with the first hickey you’ve had in a minute. You shout out in your car, pleading for an answer from beyond the grave here.
“Mikey, are you sure he’s a virgin?!”
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Before we even, start here-- Number one, I'm sure you've forgotten at this point, but I will eat that lightbulb, motherfucker-- I just wrote 8k, I need my k of thoughts in return!! What'd you like! What stuck out to you! Favourite lines/moments!
What even happened in this chapter, deadass, I can't remember it all. Let's try to summarize.
Birth (woah!)
Mikey talks, a lil more of their friendship revealed, cute
Syd and Tony being cute as hell. Speaking of, I'm Desi, so I write Tony like a WOC-- I don't think it makes a huge difference to their dynamic, but I felt like noting it. Oh, Tony's gift!! Collar pins!!
Jacket exchange program, fr.
We would've been friends in highschool.
Why!!! You wanna ask me out!!!??? (crashes car)
Haha, what if you worked for me? (imagines a full perfect life together) I'm so normal.
(buys the brand of body wash you like) (specifically doesn't get the one that could give you a headache after a prolonged period of time) (even if it's the relaxing one) This is what normal people do.
Paramedic/Chicago's Kindest backstory!
(pseudo) ASKS OUT!! TENATIVELY!! REALLY JUST GOT SO FUCKING SCARED BY THE IDEA OF YOU GOING ON A DATE WITH SOMEONE TONIGHT THAT HE HAD TO TAKE THE PLUNGE.
kith.
That was the coin flip, btw. Hehehe. Heads he goes full smooch, Tails you go 'alright, sick, see u later', and he leaves. I could see it going either way. Carmen's a reserved guy. I knew I was going to make him state his interest, because I wanted to try out a lil something new. In the past, I've had the climax of a romance be 'omg we like each other how nice', and I wanted to try out the idea of these two knowing they like each other, and basically trying to maintain that. Thought it'd be fun.
Oh, this one's serious. I gotta know-- Good kiss? God I feel like someone's first boyfriend. I do not write sequences of intimacy. I go 'they fucking kiss, hurray, next scene'. And so, I really gave it my all here. I hope it turned out. I think Carm and Tony had so much tension piled on top of so much trauma that it simply couldn't have not been so feral.
Anyways, I expect an essay on my desk tomorrow. Thesis statements with supporting evidence, motherfucker. I love u. I hope u liked it <3
I start my job next week so I'm trying to write as much as possible before then, lmao.
Next Part
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littlefluu · 3 months
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WELCOME TO SECTION I 𓍯𓂃𓏧 E N H Y P E N F I C R E C S ⤷GO BACK TO THE MAIN HALLᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
WELCOME TO A SMALL LITTLE COLLECTIONS OF WORKS I ENJOYED
𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒓: 𝑵𝑺𝑭𝑾 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒅 𝑶𝑵𝑳𝒀 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝔂𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆
!! THIS POST IS CURRENTLY UNDERGOING "CONSTRUCTIONS" I CHANGED THE LAYOUT AND AM NOT DONE & SOME LINKS DONT WORK !!
LEE HEESEUNG
you % heeseung by @postalenha f. heeseung’s new gaming console has been a hinder to your relationship. but you know better, and tries to understand that he’s just enjoying the new equipment he worked so hard to have. ᝰ a very healthy relationship, gamerbf!heeseung x female reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
by my side by @enharcv f. Y/N moves in with Heeseung and his roommates after she gets kicked out of her apartment and experiences a life like the two of them were newlyweds... but they both lived with three other men (who were almost like y/n´s and heeseung’s kids).  ᝰ friends to lovers, roommate!fem reader x richboy!roommate heeseung .ᐟ₊ ⊹
tides of regret by @pprodsuga a, f, s. ★ In the year since heeseung first rejected your love confession, you've tried everything to get over him. a trip to europe makes you realize you miss your former best friend more than anything, and it makes heeseung realize he's got it all wrong. ᝰ friends to lovers, heeseung x reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
the brothers best friend pt. 2 by @taeghi a, f, s. ★ keeping your crush on heeseung a secret from heeseung was hard, but keeping it a secret from sunghoon was even harder. what do you do when you accidentally fall in love with your older brothers best friend? ᝰ brothers best friend heeseung x reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
not for sale  by @timextoxhajima a, f, c. SMAU In which your oblivious ass cannot tell that a popular boy in your class has a big, fat crush on you ᝰ Fic x Social Media AU hybrid - 15 Chapters, uni exchange student! reader x uni student! Heeseung x uni student! Jay .ᐟ₊ ⊹
win one win me by @jaylver who knew being angry and impulsive can get the captain of the hockey team to notice you? cussing them out when they were losing wasn't the best idea, but it definitely made lee heeseung's head turn, leading to him making a deal with you to win a game in order to get your number. but that wasn't enough for him, he was determined to make you his. ᝰ strangers to lovers, college sports au, romance, ice hockey player!heeseung x afab!reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
teeth by @gyuuberryy f, sug. you were not thrilled about the move in of your new neighbour. mostly because he was so strange and seemed to be hiding something dark. and partly because you couldn’t stop yourself from getting closer to him because of your unwanted attraction. you were determined to expose his dark secret and get rid of him once and for all. but, it was proving to be a difficult task because he was just so irresistible..and needy. ᝰ enemies to lovers, vampire!heeseung x reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
talk tomorrow by @soobnny f. drunken confessions ᝰ best friends to lovers, heeseung x reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
predictable predicament by @timextoxhajima f, s. so you're best friends with the campus hottie who happens to be the quietest one in his group of friends. he's different with you though. ᝰ best friend! heeseung, fluff, smut in the least explicit way .ᐟ₊ ⊹
PARK JONGSEONG
notoriously yours by @jakesimfromstatefarm f, a, c. jay park is a rich kid. it’s safe to say he has everything every broke college student on his campus could dream of and more. but the one thing he doesn’t have, which money definitely can’t buy, is a girlfriend. and his friends won’t see of it. literally. so what happens when his friends bet him to date someone for more than three months? what happens when jay decides that fake-dating someone would be easier than actual dating (because god forbid Jay–the campus’ notoriously known fuckboy–decides to commit to something once in his life)? and what happens when that someone is you, his childhood best friend he hasn’t spoken to in years..who has absolutely no interest in being in his life anymore? ᝰ fluff, comedy, angst | fakedating!au, college!au, childhood bestfriends!au, (kinda) e2l!au .ᐟ₊ ⊹
while you were sleeping by @pprodsuga f. jay thinks he loves you best when the two of you are back together in the early hours of the morning. ᝰ short lil slice of life au .ᐟ₊ ⊹
break your heart right back by @jaeminvore f. That's it, you were done crying over your good for nothing ex! You were done wallowing in self-pity for the embarrassment your ex put your through. Now you want revenge, and what’s more perfect than aiming at his pride and shattering it once and for all? Enter your best friend Park Jongseong (affectionately dubbed as Jay) who was the perfect candidate for carrying out your revenge plan. After all, it's one way to piss off your ex with the guy he absolutely loathed. ᝰ college au, friends to lovers, fake dating and ungodly amounts of fluff, bestfriend!Jay x fem!reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
7:18 AM by @ashtxrie f. jay surprises a very sleepy y/n with breakfast. ᝰ established relationship, pure fluff, heavy domestic content timestamp, jay x reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
naturally by @ikeuverse f,s. ★ jay has always been very private about his love life and physical contact in front of his friends, but a comment from his work colleagues made him rethink some things. ᝰ established relationship, fluff, smut, domestic , chef!jay x fem!reader  .ᐟ₊ ⊹
how you get the girl by @jaylver f, a. ★ Beach parties are supposedly fun and exciting, aren’t they? Wrong. Experiencing college parties is rare for you, but you decided to give this one a go after your best friend’s constant pleas. Things were alright until everything turned sour when trouble found you and eventually you were roped into a fight alongside the campus’ famous hockey playboy. As if that wasn’t enough, the devil himself conjured up an idea that you found yourself being entangled in. It was all fun and games up until confusion arose, feelings being confessed and played, in the end, Jay had to learn how to get the girl, his girl. ᝰ strangers to frenemies to lovers, fake dating au, college sports au, romance, fluff, angst, secret pining, ice hockey player!jay x afab!reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
the battle of hogwarts a. ᝰ hogwarts!au, angsty angst, friend!jake, brother!sunghoon, chosen one!heeseung, jay x reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
 falling for you, I can't keep away by @jaeminvore a,f. Ah yes, the ever so infamous Amortentia, world's most powerful, yet dangerous love potion. You could only hope the Potions professor won't have to call you to ask what it smelt like or it would be so fucking embarrassing having to list every scent that reminded you of Jay, one of your close friends, in front of the whole class and Jay himself. ᝰ Hogwarts AU, friends to lovers, light angst, fluff , Slytherin!Jay x Ravenclawl!gn!reader.ᐟ₊ ⊹
stuck with me by @yeonzzzn a,f,s. ★ in the middle of the apocalypse, you and jay find each other in a situation of life and death, using the protection of each other to get to the next safe zone. unfortunately for the both of you, things take a turn once secrets get revealed and the fight for survival becomes greater. ᝰ enemies to lovers, zombie apocalypse!au, blonde jay, smuggler hyung line + smuggler txt, riize members + jungkook and namjoon make appearances, smut. .ᐟ₊ ⊹
SIM JAEHYUN
first kisses by @mayjunewritings f. Just a drabble about Jake’s first kiss ᝰ Best Friends to Lovers, bestfriend!Jake x reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
statics screens a. he didn’t know that in order to chase his dreams, he’d have to lose his everything. she didn’t know that to give him the world, she’d have to say goodbye. ᝰ angst, Jake x reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
yours truly by @simjyun a,f. SMAU you had a somewhat interesting life. for one, you were attached to the hip to jake sim, your best friend as well as a known heartthrob at your uni. though notorious for his player reputation, he was the sweetest to you and treated you like no other— but he was also the root of many of your problems. ᝰ Social Media AU - 19 Chapters / discontinued, ake dating, smau, humor at points, fboy! jake x fem!reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
maybe we could be together by @jaeminvore f. SMAU. in which Y/N has already accepted the fact that she will never be anything more than a best friend to Jake. She’s fine. She’s kept it all together for so long. However, Sunoo is a force to reckon with and he will do anything in his power to get Jake and Y/N together—Oh, and not to mention Sunoo really hates Jake’s current girlfriend, much to the annoyance of Y/N. ᝰ Social Media AU - 42 Chapters / fluff, light angst, crack (as it should!), fake dating and Sunoo being the bestest friend you could ever ask for… in his own strange ways, childhoodbff!Jake x fem!reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
how to fake date your best friend by @jakesimfromstatefarm f. the rules were simple -pretend to be the boyfriend of you, his best friend who wants the attention of their crush, for a week and a week only no kissing (bc gross cooties amirite) allowed, unless needed in times of desperate measure and no matter what, absolutely, most definitely, do not fall in love. simple, right? well apparently not. because news flash––jake's already broken one of the rules. And to give you a hint, it's neither rule 1 or 2. ᝰ fluff, comedy, fakingdating!au, highschool!au, bestfriend!au, friends to lovers, Jake x reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
late nights story by @nightdiary a,f,s. ★ lured by the prospect of earning a couple extra bucks for the summer, you head north to man your aunt's surf shop on australia's sunshine coast. it's a visit that reacquaints you with everything you've been running from– old friends, abandoned memories, and one unforgettable jake sim. ᝰ surfer!jake, childhood friends to exes to lovers, angst, fluff, eventual smut, attempt at humor, Jake x reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹  
you're my baby too by @squoxle f. your husband loves teasing you about not giving away all of his kisses ᝰ husband!dad!jake x wife!mom!reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
atlantean by @timextoxhajima  a,f. ★ an atlantean is the first and last thing you’d want your best friend to be. ᝰ fantasy, angst, fluff, swimmer! Jake x swimmer!fem!reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
behind closed doors by @ikigaitsuki ★ Finding an unlocked door in one of your friends’ usual parties provides an opportunity to escape the crowd. But with the closing of some doors, comes the figurative opening of others. ᝰ smut, Jake x fem!reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
car rides by @jlheon f. a sequence of events from your and jake’s senior year ᝰ neighbors to lovers, fluff, highschool au .ᐟ₊ ⊹
soul sisters f. where layla shows how much she cares about the growing life inside you. ᝰ fluff, heavy domestic content, husband!jaeyun x pregnant!reader, .ᐟ₊ ⊹
break the ice by @jaylver f, a. ★ Punching a guy in the club then kissing him not long after at a hockey game wasn't exactly a fairytale, but for you, it was your reality. The worst part of all it wasn't even the incidents that happened, but the fact that you didn't know him or his name. That was until another stir of events that happened which caused you and him to actually meet, so what was the best way to break the ice after a disastrous punch and a shocking kiss together? A date. It could be love at first sight, or more accurately, it was love at first punch, or … kiss? ᝰ strangers to lovers, college sports au, romance, angst, ice hockey player!jake x afab!reader.ᐟ₊ ⊹
midnight train (back to you) by @jaylver f, a. ★ You declared to the world that this summer will be yours. Ever since you’ve left home to chase your dream further in Europe, you never dared to look back, leaving your friends and family along with the precious memories there, including your silent love for your closest friend. Years passed, you were making a name for yourself and chasing that fame, settling in perfectly fine and eventually moved on with life. All was well until the transfer window came, announcing a new addition to the men’s first team, who also happened to be your childhood best friend, Jake Sim. Summer in Spain wouldn’t be what it is without experiencing lots of rekindling, heartbreaks, fallout but also a shot at love. ᝰ childhood friends to lovers, college/professional sports au, romance, angst, pining, (slight) slow burn, pro-footballer!jake x pro-footballer afab!reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
PARK SUNGHOON
beyond 7 minutes in heaven by @interlunium-opus a,f. 7 minutes in heaven with Sunghoon except within the 7 minutes nothing happened. Then when it was time to go out, you two found yourselves locked and things started to go awry. ᝰ angst, fluff, friends to lover, sunghoon x freader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
my accidental demon roommate by @jaeminvore f. SMAU Sunghoon wasn’t expecting to be sent to the mortal world by his “father”, much less being forced into attending college (he’s a demon! why would he need to?!) and being accidentally summoned by a clueless human almost had him marching straight into Hell to have a word with its ruler. Only he couldn’t, because he was already bound to you by a fucking paper-cut sealing your contract which means he can’t just leave the mortal world without taking something of yours in return. ᝰ Social Media Hybrid AU - 61 Chapters / fake dating, college au, social media au with occasional written parts, modern supernatural (?) au, super fun, demon!sunghoon x human!fem!reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
behind the scenes by @liliansun a,f. SMAU Sunghoon was at the top of his game, staring in every major romance drama to hit the big screen. When he met you, he expected to watch you swoon over him like his previous co-stars, but you’re not so impressed when meeting in person. Modeling is looking at lot better than acting right about..now. ACTION! ᝰ Social Media AU - 23 Chapters / strangers 2 enemies, enemies 2 friends, fluff, angst, crack/humor, one sided pinning, love triangle?? some established relationships, sunghoon x fem!reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
love me not by @jyunwrld a,f. SMAU throughout life, there will always be times where you’re faced with unexpected circumstances, whether good or bad, and it just so happened to be y/n who had to deal with it. y/n and sunghoon have dated for years before mutually breaking up, deciding to remain friends for the better—but what would prevail after finding out that sunghoon still has lingering feelings for her? ᝰ Social Media AU - 26 Chapters / angst, fluff, fake dating smau  sunghoon x fem!reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
give up heaven  by @yeonzzzn a,f,s. ★ when you run into your best friend's ex-boyfriend at your favorite coffee shop thinking it was just a coincidence until seeing him became a daily thing. You can't get him out of your head and start to feel guilty at the very thought of him and things take a turn when he starts making advances towards you. ᝰ hockey player!hoon with small mentions of figure skater!hoon, ex-bestfriend bf!hoon, hoon's ex-girlfriend best friend, friends to lovers, slight smut, hockeyplayer!hoon x reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
insatiable by @moonhoures s. your vampire bf suddenly becomes clingy which can only mean he’s hungry or horny . . . or both ᝰ non-idol!au, vampire!au, smut, sunghoon x reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
fatal trouble by @gyuuberryy f. your roommate is hot. really really hot. and odd too. really really odd. after a strange experience with him, you slowly start distancing yourself from him. but, it becomes exceptionally hard with your feelings coming in the way. how are you supposed to protect yourself if you can’t resist him? the answer is you don’t need to. your fates are intertwined and there's no letting go. ᝰ roommates to lovers, vampire au, soulmate au, vampire!sunghoon x reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
MS. & MR. President by @jlheon f. seeing your ex in public leads to hiding in a small photobooth with your annoying student council vice president park sunghoon ᝰ non-idol!au, frenemies to lovers, sunghoon x freader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
crazy, stupid, love by @jaylver f, a. ★ Having a one night stand wasn’t your forte, but with the help of adrenaline, and most definitely not alcohol, you managed to rope yourself into one. Worst part of all was the fact that you didn’t even know his name! The only distinguishable part of him was his blinding white hair. You figured you will never see him again after, but you were so wrong. Your friend practically set you up for failure after convincing you to take her place on a blind date to try and drive the guy away, only for it to be the one you slept with, who also happened to be your mother’s best friend’s son that you met right before that.  ᝰ strangers to lovers, college sports au, romance, comedy, slice of life, angst, (attempted) he fell first but she fell harder, slowburn-ish, ice hockey player!sunghoon x afab!reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
KIM SUNOO
blanket forts by @jaysbestie f. it’s your 5 month anniversary with your boyfriend sunoo but instead of going out in the summer heat, you stayed inside and made sure your day was great ᝰ  fluff, bf! sunoo x gn! reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
RIKI NISHIMURA
supernova by @star-sim. f,a. riki was the city's top hero, you were the top villain. when your archnemisis pulls up to your apartment late at night, all battered and bruised, you just sighed and took him in. you were a villain, not a monster! ᝰ hero! riki x femvillain! reader, superhero! au, enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort, fluff, a lil bit of angst .ᐟ₊ ⊹
duck by @jlheon f. you want a sonny angel hipper ᝰ Idol bf! nishimura riki x fem! reader, established relationship, fluff .ᐟ₊ ⊹
ALL OF THE MEMBERS
love. f. moments where they realize they are in love or when they fall harder than they did before ᝰ fluff, short scenarios, all members .ᐟ₊ ⊹
maybe in another universe !? by @leaderwon a. enhypen members texts after you pass away ᝰ sad, angsty SMAU, all members .ᐟ₊ ⊹
REACTIONS
hyung line reaction to their s/o being a single mom
Vampire enhypen! - Reaction to listening to their S/O’s heart beating faster because of them 
enhypen as your boyfriend ~ hyung line
hyung line when you sit on their lap while they’re on the computer 
SERIES I LOVED
★ no competition series by @jaylver a series of 3 hockey boys and an aussie footballer trying to win over the love of their lives ᝰ college sports au, romance, angst, humour, enhypen!hyung line x reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
AUTHORS I LOVE @jlheon ★ @jaylver ★ @gyuuberryy ★ @pprodsuga ★ @jaeminvore
338 notes · View notes
quiet-onset · 11 months
Text
fever pitch
pairing: michael berzatto x reader
wc: 12.1k+, somebody sedate me
summary: an assortment of your time with michael berzatto
warnings: no use of yn, smut, so minors dni!!!, unprotected sex, sex under the influence, by ext. dubcon since reader is unaware at the time, oral (f receiving), drug use and addiction (character and reader), canonical character death/suicide mention, pregnancy mention (sorry not sorry), please do not read if any of this is triggering for you!!
a/n: beta’d by @brattylyricist bc she has no other choice than to put up with my bs!! also bc the content matter here is triggering and i have personal experience seeing the damage that addiction can do to someone you love, I’m including national hotline phone numbers here. please don’t be afraid to seek help if you need it: national suicide prevention hotline: dial/text 988, substance abuse and mental health services administration: 1-800-662-HELP. again, please do not read this if any of the warnings are triggering for you!!!
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The day went by in a blur. You got up, showered, did your hair and makeup. You ate the little breakfast you could stomach. You put on an acceptable black dress and matching high heels.
You drove to the church — tried to sit in the back, but Sugar pulled you to the front pew, right next to her. You stood behind the lectern and said kind, loving words. You drove to the cemetery and watched as his casket was lowered into the cold. And you went to the repass, doing your best to stay out of Donna’s way, knowing how she gets when she’s both sad and under pressure. 
But you hadn’t cried.
You sat on the stairs with your wine glass filled with water as everyone mingled, exchanging condolences about your dearly departed. You let your heart ache as you downed the glass, stories of him being told by this person and that.
But you still hadn’t cried.
Donna burst out of the kitchen, her hair a bit disheveled and eyes red from crying. “Have you seen Carmy?”
You couldn’t help but let out a sigh. It must have been the seventh time she had asked. “No, Donna, I have not seen Carmy.”
“What a fuckin’ help you are.” She snapped, pulling a box of cigarettes from her apron. With her other hand, she snatched your empty wine glass and turned on her heel. “I do all this work, and I can’t even go outside to smoke.”
You followed close behind, huffing as you stood. “I thought Sugar was with you.”
“Sugar is with her.” The middle child interrupted. She gave you a weak, empathetic smile when you entered the kitchen behind Donna. A wine glass of her own in hand as she sat on the kitchen counter, she sipped on red wine. “But Sugar can’t cook.”
“Not like Carmy, you can’t. Get your ass off my fuckin’ counter, shoo!” Donna swatted at her daughter’s thigh until she hopped off the counter, snatching her half full wine glass as well. She downed the wine in a couple seconds, and you and Sugar shot each other a look. It was passing, but you both understood the meaning — Donna needed a break.
“She doesn’t have to cook, Donna. Just watch everything. Keep an eye on it, y’know?” You tried to intervene but she was having none of it.
“I don’t need an eye. I need hands! I need someone who can cook!” Donna threw the glasses into the sink, and you flinched when they shattered against the metal. “Fuck!”
“I’ll do it, Donna.” From the shakiness in her hands, you know she’s so close to losing it. To taking everything in the kitchen and throwing it on the ground, at the wall, at whoever she deemed worthy of having something thrown at them. “I know I’m not Carmy, but I’m better than Sug.”
“Hey!” Sugar sounded defensive, but you and Donna barely paid her any mind.
“You can’t fuckin’ cook, Sugar, get over it.” Her mother snapped. “I’d normally have Mikey do it, but he—”
“Ma.” You gently placed your hands on Donna’s shoulders, and a bit of the tension fell from them. You hadn’t called her that in a long time — it no longer felt right — but doing so made her recall happier times. You looked her in the eye, reassured her. “You go outside and smoke. I’ll take over for a few minutes, okay?”
Her eye twitched ever so slightly, and she was still shaking, but you could tell it grounded her a bit. “If everything else goes to shit, make sure the fish is good, alright?”
“Save the fish. Got it.”
Donna nodded, pulling a cigarette out of the box. Then she finally walked toward the exit of  the kitchen, twirling it in her hand. Just before she left, she glanced at you again, her voice shaky. “You.. you would’ve been good for him. If he’d let you.”
When Donna left, there were tears in your eyes. Sugar watched to see if you’d need comfort, especially after one of those tears fell from your eye. But you were quick to wipe it away, taking a deep, shuddering breath. You turned to Sugar, gesturing toward the sink filled with broken glass. “Could you…?”
“Yeah. Yeah, of course.” She was quick to do so, grabbing a paper bag to put shards in. You both worked in a comfortable silence. The only sound was the clinking of glass against each other. Sugar battled over whether she wanted to speak, but she figured if she needed kind words, then you definitely did. “Ma’s right, y’know. Michael lo—”
“Sug. Please.”
“Okay.”
There was a pause as you stirred a pot of stew, then you sighed. “I know he did. As much as he could anyway.”
Michael met you on a sober streak. He’d been clean for three weeks, the longest stint thus far. When Richie found out about his addiction, he dragged Michael to Narcotics Anonymous. You’re gonna die cooking at the restaurant or doing something cool, not fuckin’ OD, Richie had sneered in the car.
He sat in a chair, his arms crossed over his chest, grumbling like a child. Despite being sober for three weeks, he maintained that he didn’t need to come to these meetings. To Michael, this was just proof that he could quit whenever he wanted to. Regardless, Richie drove him to every meeting and planned to do so until he seemed ready to go on his own.
The host of the meeting, Brayden, greeted Michael with a kind smile, but he responded with a grunt. For three weeks, Michael sat silently in that circle and said absolutely nothing. He wondered what it took to get the man to speak, but of course, he’d never pressure anyone to share before they were ready.
Then you walked in. You seemed a bit more put together than others in the room, but still a bit shy. An oversized sweater wrapped around your frame, and you pulled it even closer, eyes glancing around the room. You nodded a greeting to Brayden before sitting in the circle across from Michael. When you noticed him glancing your way, you offered a friendly smile, and he returned it.
He knew then that he’d return to his weekly NA meetings.
The session started shortly after, but Michael was only half listening. He was mostly glancing back and forth from whoever was speaking to you. He liked the way you gave your full attention to every person who spoke, even when they said things you didn’t agree with — he could tell when you didn’t, a little crease would form for the briefest moment between your brows. But it always disappeared, and your attentive expression returned. 
“Alright, would anyone else like to speak? Someone new maybe?” Brayden asked, quickly glancing at Michael.
He’d never admit it, but his heart was pounding at the idea of airing out his dirty laundry to a group of strangers. He took a deep, nervous breath, but then another voice spoke up.
“I’ll go.” You said, watching the relief wash over Michael’s face. You cleared your throat, pulling your sweater closer as you introduced yourself. “I was in a car accident two years ago. It, uh, it killed my son… That plus divorce plus prescribed oxy apparently equals addiction.”
The slightly playful lilt in your tone made Michael chuckle quietly, though you both knew nothing was funny. Your eyes met his, and for a moment, your heart skipped a beat. Still, you continued, “I’ve been sober for two months, but my son’s birthday is coming up in a few months, so I, uh, needed a meeting. But yeah, that’s my story.”
After the meeting, you stood by the snack table, nursing a cup of coffee. Michael approached cautiously as he poured his own coffee. “Can I ask what his name was?”
You looked up from your paper cup into warm brown eyes. “Sorry?”
“Your son?”
“Oh.” You paused, and your heart sank at the reminder that your baby was gone. “His name was Benson.”
He snorted into his coffee cup, trying to hide his quiet laugh by clearing his throat. You noticed the light in his eyes, and it inexplicably made a smile pull at your lips too. “Sorry.” He said. “Benson’s a great name.”
“It’s a dorky name. Dorky first name, anyways. It’s what his father wanted.” You confirmed with a chuckle. “But it was my son’s name. So I liked it.”
“Course.” He smiled at you kindly. He was charming, and you liked it. “I’m Michael, by the way.”
You gave him your name and shook his hand. You went against your better judgment and invited him to your place. You both spent all night wrapped in your sheets, in each other’s embrace. He left for work the next morning but not before getting your phone number. 
You texted Michael and arranged to meet up again that night. Then, you called your sponsor. 
That was the beginning of the end.
“Cousin, your girlfriend’s here!”
“Not his girlfriend, Richie.”
“Not yet.”
“Send her back!” Michael’s voice floated in from the back of the kitchen.
You sidestepped Richie and walked through the kitchen, saying your hellos to everyone. “Where’s he at?” You asked.
“The office.” Tina answered, lightly nudging you in his direction. “He’s not having the best day.”
You nodded your understanding and proceeded to the small office where Michael was leaning back in his chair, hand over his face as he spoke into his cell phone. “No, I just don’t understand why we keep talking about the same shit.”
You leaned against the doorframe, giving him a small smile. He gave you the tiniest acknowledgment, a small wave, before spinning around in the chair to face the wall. You scoffed jokingly, closing the door behind you, “Well, fuck me, I guess.”
“Carmy, you’re a big shot in some fancy, five-star, European restaurant, what the fuck do you wanna be here for?” He asked exasperatedly. There’s a short pause, mumbling from the other side of the phone before Mikey throws a hand in the air. “Five star, three star, who gives a shit? Look, Carmen, you’re doing big things, good things. Stay in Europe. I gotta go.”
When Michael hung up, a long, tired sigh racked his body. “This would be a perfect time for—”
“One month.” You interrupted. You knew all too well where his mind was headed. He was spiraling into that dark, secluded state of mind you’d found him in just a few weeks after you met. He’d relapsed after a particularly hard day at the restaurant, something about finances and paying back a loan that he refused to tell you more about. But you’d helped him then. Picked him up, dusted him off, and called his sponsor — Started him back on the path of sobriety again. If you could help it, he’d never reach that lonely place again. 
“One month.” He repeated to himself. Then, he spun around. “Hey.”
“Hey.” You walked over to him, standing between his spread legs. He immediately rested his forehead on your belly, groaning when you carded a hand through his hair. Your other hand rubbed circles into his back, the tense muscles a sharp contrast to his soft black locks. “I take it that was your brother?”
He grunted affirmatively. “Keeps askin’ to work here.”
“At The Beef?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, isn’t he a professional chef? Why don’t you let him?”
“C’mon, sweetheart, you’re supposed to be on my side.” He grumbled, pulling you down to sit on his thigh. 
“I am on your side.” You chuckled. You took your thumb and rubbed gently at the spot between his eyes until the frustrated crease disappeared. “‘M just saying, he’s a trained chef, this is a restaurant. I don’t get what’s not adding up for you, baby.”
Michael sighed, looking up at you. He brushed a stray hair from your face and smiled up at you. You smiled back encouragingly, patiently waiting until he found the right words. “Carm doesn’t know.” He admitted.
“Carm doesn’t know…?”
“About the painkillers. And I don’t know if I’m ready to tell him.” His brow furrowed once more, making you frown. “I mean, he’s got three Michelin stars. The kid’s a fuckin’ genius in the kitchen — he doesn’t need to be around all this shit, all my shit.”
You let his words sink in, deep in thought as you stroked his hair. Your bottom lip caught between your teeth, you thought about all the stories Mikey and Richie told you about the youngest Berzatto. How he could be quiet and unassuming, but, with a little encouragement, always came out of his shell around family and friends. Maybe, for Carmen, it wasn’t about the restaurant.
“Maybe he just wants to see you.” You said pensively. “I mean it’s been how long since he’s been home?”
A scoff passed Michael’s lips. “A long fuckin’ time.”
“Maybe the restaurant is a pretense. I mean, he would come work at The Beef and stuff, but maybe he just wants to see you again. Hang out with his big brother like he used to.”
His thumb stroked your thigh as he looked at you, silently admired the way you seem to come in and make all his problems melt away with a single thought, a word, a smile. “What about the whole bein’ an addict part?” He asked.
“You don’t have to tell him right away.” You suggested. “Baby steps.”
“You are too fuckin’ good to me, y’know that?” He grinned back at you. When you rolled your eyes playfully, he pinched your side, making you jolt and laugh. 
You pulled his arm around your waist, settling your hands at the nape of his neck. “So, you’re letting your brother work at the restaurant?”
“How ‘bout we just start with a visit, hm? I’ll tell him to come home for a week or somethin’, stay at mine.” He compromised. “Baby steps.”
“Oh, I’m so proud of you.” You cooed playfully, pinching his stubbly cheeks. 
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” He swatted your hands away, leaning forward to press wet kisses to the column of your neck. He smirked as you suddenly ceased your pinching, bracing your hands on his shoulders. “You should let me return the favor, sweetheart.”
“Not in your office!” You gasped when he bit down on the juncture between your neck and shoulder before soothing it with his tongue. 
“Why not?” He chuckled, lifting you onto his desk. He probably should have been a little more worried about his records and papers getting folded under the swell of your ass, but all he could focus on was the small strip of fabric covering the part of you he wanted to devour. “Wouldn’t you prefer I be addicted to my girl than painkillers?”
“That’s not, ah,” You jolted above him, the sensation of his thumb pressing into your sensitive clit knocking you back to your elbows, “That’s not funny, Mikey.”
“What’s Brayden say?” He muttered, pulling your panties to the side. His fingers expertly tugs your lips apart, and he pressed a soft teasing kiss to your hood-covered button. “Humor’s my coping mechanic.”
“M-mechanism.” The correction came out in a soft moan. Just then, his words hit you — his girl. He’d never said that before. All the times you’d kissed, made out, had sex, he’d never called you his girl. You liked the way it sounded, the way it rolled off his tongue effortlessly. “Your girl?”
“Yeah.” He pulled away, his hands finding your calves as he looked at you. His brown irises held the tiniest bit of vulnerability in them, an emotion reserved for you and you only. “I mean, if you wanna be. Do you?”
You smiled and encircled his wrists, tenderly stroking his skin with your thumbs. It was a simple touch, but it made the hairs on his arm stand at attention. Strange how you always managed to do that. “Of course I do.”
“Good.” He exhaled. His large hands slid up your inner thighs, pausing at your core. With a gentle touch, he tugged your folds apart, watching the way your entrance fluttered. His mouth dropped open, and he let his saliva drip down onto your pussy, rubbing it into your clit with the pad of his thumb. “Now, get comfy, sweetheart, ‘cause I missed this pretty little pussy.”
“Where is it? Where is it? Where the fuck is it?”
You’d torn your apartment apart. Old storage boxes that gathered dust were now open and emptied. Your clothes were thrown all over the place. You managed to push the couch and check the floor, but you found nothing but crumbs and linty hair ties. 
Tears started to blur your vision, and your chest felt heavy, like the entire world sat directly on your lungs. Your breath was just as shaky as your hands that tugged at the roots of your hair. You ran to your mess of a kitchen and scrambled for your phone, typing the familiar number from memory.
Your ex-husband answered on the third ring. “Hello?”
“Where’s Eli?” You heard him call your name, but his confusion was the last thing on your mind. “Benson’s stuffed cow, Eli. Where is it? I can’t find it.”
He sighed, his voice lower and more scratchy than you remembered. He must’ve been crying, too, you thought. “How am I supposed to know?”
“You helped me move out. Did you take it? I swear to god—”
“I didn’t take the damn cow.” He snapped. “Do you think I’m that selfish that I would keep it from you?”
“I didn’t call to rehash our marriage, alright? I need Eli, okay? I need him.”
The line went silent. You both knew you weren’t talking about the stuffed animal anymore. He let out a deep breath. “Have you tried therapy?”
“I don’t need to pay a bunch of money to have someone tell me I need to get over the death of our child.” You hissed, scrunching your nose at the suggestion. 
“Have you been to his grave?”
You wiped your tears away, thinking about the cold, unfeeling stone that solidified your son’s death. You hadn’t seen it since the funeral. You took a shaky breath, “Do you have Eli or not?”
“I don’t.”
He tried to speak once more, but you already hung up. You couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe without this one piece of your son. Tears dropped onto your phone screen as you scrolled and scrolled through your contacts, finding the name you were looking for. The line rang three times before a deep voice greeted you. “What’s up?”
“I need to see you. Where can we meet?”
Hours later, Michael was walking toward his apartment building with Carmy. He’d been purposefully avoiding bringing up The Beef, and luckily Carmy didn’t push. Instead, his little brother decided to bring up the little stuffed animal that Michael had pushed into his jacket pocket. “So,” Carmy started quietly, “You startin’ a collection with that thing or…?”
“Shut the fuck up.” Michael laughed. He pulled the stuffed cow out of his pocket. “It’s my girl’s. Remember I told you about her son?”
“Yeah.”
“Sometimes she likes to talk to me about him. She brought this over to my place a few weeks ago to show me. Apparently, the kid was obsessed with cows.”
“No shit. Look at you, bein’ vulnerable.” Carmy chuckled in amazement, admiring his brother’s new relationship.
“Yeah, whatever. The, uh, anniversary of his death is coming up, and she’ll probably be wanting this, so you can meet her while you’re here if she’s feeling up to it. Sound good?”
“‘F course.”
When Michael unlocked the front door, he was met with chaos. The front door banged into the coat closet door, somehow left open with coats strewn across the floor. The rug in his living room was flipped over, and the couch was now far from the wall. Michael was only brought back to reality by the stunned woah that passed through Carmy’s lips.
Somehow, Michael knew. He wasn’t a mind reader, but he remembered that feeling. A feeling that bubbled in the pit of his stomach, traveling throughout his body until it pounded at his head. It was dread, hopelessness, not knowing how he’d find the strength to take another breath. He knew, and he needed to help you.
“Di-Did someone break into your house or something?” Carmy asked, closing the door behind him.
“Just stay here for a second, little brother, okay?” Michael’s voice was dismissive, preoccupied, as he followed the trail of despair into the kitchen.
And there you sat. Red eyes, swollen from crying. Head lulling from side to side and your heart almost numb enough to keep the darkness from creeping in and making a home, uninvited,  in the hole of your chest. Your arms circled around your knees that you’d drawn up to your chest, hugging them close. Maybe, if you squeezed hard enough, you could stop grieving and move on.
Michael approached slowly, like you were a wounded animal. “Baby?”
“I couldn’t stop myself.”
“We don’t have to—”
“Please don’t hate me.”
He crouched down in front of you, steadied your head with a firm hand on your cheek. His warm, calloused skin helped to ground the thoughts in your fuzzy head. He looked you in the eyes, bold and sincere, just as you had when he relapsed. “I could never hate you. Never, you hear me?”
You paused for a moment before trying to explain. “I couldn’t find Eli, and I just- I started going fucking crazy—”
“Eli?” He asked, pulling the stuffed cow from his pocket. “Sweetheart, I have Eli. You left him the time you came over a couple weeks ago, and I was gonna take him back to yours.”
Michael thought the knowledge would console you, warm your heart enough to give him just the tiniest hint of a smile. But you just threw your head back frustratedly, the impact against the wall causing a dull pain to crash through the back of your skull. “Fuck.”
“Baby, why—”
“I’m so stupid.”
“You’re no—”
Tears gathered once more. “If I had just called you… I’m an idiot.”
“Hey,” He regained your attention, this time with both hands holding your face steady. “You’re not stupid. You’re not an idiot. You just made a mistake, ‘s all.”
“I fucking relapsed, Michael.”
“I’ve relapsed, and look at me, huh? Picture of a healthy, law-abiding citizen.”
“Michael.”
“You’ll start over. Just like I did. Here, give me your phone.” You dug around in your pocket and pulled out your phone, handing it to him. He turned the screen toward you so you could watch as he scrolled through your contacts until he found your dealer’s name. Then, with zero hesitation, he blocked the number. “See? Good as new, yeah?”
If tears could show your appreciation, you’d have cried an ocean’s worth. But the most you could do was throw your heavy arms around his shoulders and press a chaste kiss to the base of his neck. To you, nothing you could ever do or say would be enough, but to Mikey? If he could take your burdens and make them his own, carry the weight of your world on his back, he’d do it without a second thought. Your appreciation wasn’t needed — only your love. And he knew he had that.
“Uh, Mikey?” Carmen’s voice called from the living room. “What the fuck is this?”
Michael reluctantly untangled himself from you for a moment, signaling for you to stay quiet. But you knew what was in there — you’d left the needle on his coffee table. Immediately, you could hear Mikey try to calm his brother down. “Carmen, it’s not what you think.”
“You sure? ‘Cause that looks like a fuckin’ needle. Jesus Christ, are you—”
“I’m not high, Carm, just listen for a second.”
“Listen to what?” His voice got louder, more angry. “Michael, are you fuckin’ serious? You know this family has… issues and this is what you do? Fucking shit!”
“Hey, relax, alright? You’re making a big deal out of nothin’.”
“Nothing? If you’re getting high, it is a big deal. A huge fuckin’ deal.” Carm pushed his brother on the chest, hoping it’ll knock some sense into him. And Michael, he just curled his fists, restraining himself. The last thing he wanted was to lose control on his own brother. Carmen took a step toward, pointing one accusatory finger.
But before he could get a word out, a small voice, your voice, stopped him. “It’s not his.”
Icy blue eyes met yours as he took in your disheveled frame. You stood in the entrance of the living room, leaning against the threshold to hold yourself up. The high was starting to wear off a little, but you still felt the lingering effects. You tried to give him a smile, but a weary sigh passed through your lips. “Hi Carmen. I’m sorry, this isn’t how I wanted to meet you.”
Carmen looked back and forth from you to Michael. His eyes narrowed as his breath started to even out, confusion replacing anger. “You’re the girlfriend, yeah?” He finally asked, confirming your name.
You nodded, gauging his reaction as he let it all sink in. “I had been sober for a while, so I asked your brother not to say anything. But today was- today was hard.”
“Right,” The younger brother nodded, finally taking a step back and pushing his hands deep into his pockets. “Uh, sorry for your loss, by the way.”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
“So, Michael isn’t… he’s not using…?” He knew the words, knew the question he wanted to ask. But he was so afraid, so terrified of what the answer might be.
You knew the answer. It would have been less than savory, admitting that Michael was also an addict and had relapsed more than once since you met. The truth was potentially earth-shattering for Carmen and Michael alike. You glanced over at Michael, at how he hid the fear from his eyes. Still, you see it. In the way his hand flexed at his side, and how he refused to look in your direction. It’s almost like he knew what was coming if you told the truth, that he might have lost his brother for good. 
That fear broke your heart. So, you lied. Took your blame and a little on the side. “No. No, just me.”
You excused yourself back to the kitchen to hide your tears. You hugged Eli close, burying the stuffed animal under your nose.
It smelled like Michael.
That fucking fork. 
Fuck forks. Fuck Christmas dinner. Fuck all seven fishes. Fuck Pete’s eighth fish. And, above all, fuck Michael.
Chaos ensued after Michael gave in to his self-destructive tendencies. He all but flipped the table over in an effort to fight. Fak was making sure Sugar and Pete got out unscathed. Carmy practically begged his mother to stay out of it, and she only relented when her eldest son started making taunting braying noises — she retreated to the kitchen with a cigarette and the bottle of merlot in hand.
You gave up trying to help Michael calm down when he wretched himself from your grip, nearly knocking you into a wall in the process. Richie rushed over to help steady you, and Carmy, over all the chaos, called your name, “Yo, are you alright?”
“Peachy.” You called back sarcastically, rubbing your sore arm.
Carmen then turned his attention to his brother. “Michael, shut the fuck up for two seconds, for fuck’s sake! If you don’t calm down, you’re gonna hurt someone!”
“Kinda the point, little brother.” Michael’s eye twitched as he glared at Lee. He tried once more to push past Jimmy to no avail.
“Yeah? Was hurting your girl part of the point, smartass?”
Michael turned to you, the anger in his eyes slowly overtaken with concern. He hadn’t meant to push you; he didn’t even know you were one of the people trying to hold him back. But that didn’t take back his actions. Your gaze went cold as you pulled away from Richie, pushing Michael hard on the chest. “I’m not his fucking girl anymore.”
Then, you hightailed it out of the house. Everyone went silent as you peeled out of the driveway, rubber squealing against pavement.
Richie watched Michael carefully, noticing how his brow furrowed and his chest heaved. He took a step toward him and dropped a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Mikey,” Richie warned, “Don’t do anything stupid.” Michael pulled away and stomped his way up the stairs, leaving Richie to call after his best friend from the dining room. 
Over Richie’s voice, Carmen could hear his mother sobbing in the kitchen followed by the soft glug of wine as she turned the bottle up. And immediately, he followed after his older brother. Richie tried to stop him, “Cousin, he just needs a minute.”
“Yeah, just a minute?” Carmen replied dismissively. “Fuck off, cousin, he’s not a baby.”
He pushed open every door looking for Mikey. Finally, he came upon one door that wouldn’t budge, locked from the inside. Carmy pounded on the bathroom door. “Yo, what the fuck was that?”
“Go away, Carmen.” Mikey paced the bathroom floor, hands pulling at the roots of his hair. He wished he had an answer for his brother, but he came up short. Maybe it was pride, or ego, or his innate tendency to self-destruct, he couldn’t choose. So he just paced the floor, avoiding the sight of his own reflection.
“Mikey, you need to go downstairs and fix this shit, alright?” Carmy continued. “Ma’s drinking herself stupid, Sug’s a mess, your girl just fuckin’ left, c’mon man.”
“Hey, you think I don’t know that?” The older brother hissed.
He braced himself on the sink, finally looking up into the mirror. He looked disheveled, angry. His hair was messy from pulling at it, and the whites of his eyes had a red tint to them. One prominent vein pulsed in his forehead, and suddenly, the need set in. 
His head is fuzzy, brain pounding at his skull. So many thoughts, too many, clouding his head. He lifted his hand to push away a few strands of his hair, limp with sweat, and he realized that his hand was shaking. Even as he closed his fingers into a fist, it trembled like an earthquake. He blinked hard, eyes scrambling as he tried to think of a quick solution, a way to gather himself before he faced his little brother again.
Carmy was quiet as he started to think maybe he should have listened to Richie. “Mikey?”
No answer.
“Mikey, look, I’m sorry—”
The door flung open, and Carmy studied him. His hair was pushed back. His eyes were red, but Carmy assumed Mikey must’ve been crying. Everything seemed right, but there was something he couldn’t place. Something about his big brother that was very wrong. “Nothing to be sorry for, Carm.” Michael told him, one big hand on his shoulder. “I gotta go.”
When Michael started booking it downstairs, Carmy was quick on his trail. “Wait, go? Go where?”
Michael responded with a call of your name, “Gotta make sure she’s good.”
Carmy ran a hand through his golden brown locks as he followed his older brother out the front door. Their sister noticed the argument and followed them out the door, “Whoa, hey, what’s going on?”
“Nothing, Sug, go back inside.” Michael stopped for the briefest moment to turn around and place a kiss on his sister’s forehead.
“He’s leavin’.” Carmy sighed frustratedly.
“He’s leaving?” Sugar turned to Michael. “You’re leaving?”
“Fuckin’ snitch.” Michael mumbled under his breath. He squeezed Sug’s arm with a tight smile, “I’m just goin’ to find my girl, okay? I’ll be back, I promise.”
“How are you even going to find her?” Carm scoffed.
“You know her password, right?” Sug asked her eldest brother. “I wouldn’t normally say this, but you could track her phone. Here, give me yours.”
“What about Ma?” Carmy threw his arms up in defeat. Michael was the one who started all that mess, and now that it was time to pick up the pieces, where did he go? Chasing you. Like always, Carm thought to himself. “You’re the only one who can get through to her when she’s all…” He waved his hands around as if the devastating words he was looking for would magically appear.
“Well, you’re home, ain’t you? She missed you — just sit with her till I get back, alright? I gotta go.”
And just as quickly Mikey was off too, running toward the closest train station.
If there were ever a time for oxy, that would’ve been it. But instead, you drove and drove and drove until the tank was damn near empty. You pulled into a parking lot and called your sponsor. She talked you down, persuading you to delete your dealer’s contact information in your phone. When the long conversation was over, you were still angry, furious even, but you’d at least lost interest in relapsing.
Knock knock knock.
You jumped in the driver’s seat when calloused knuckles tapped on the car window. Michael wasted no time in starting an argument. “What the hell were you thinkin’, leavin’ like that?” He yelled, voice only slightly muffled by the barrier.
“How did you even find me?”
“Sugar showed me how to track your phone.”
“You tracked my phone?”
“Open the fuckin’ door.”
You pushed the door open and got out of the car, deciding your best course of action would be to walk away from him. “Leave me alone, Michael.”
“Where are you goin’?” He was quick to follow you as you walked down the street, just a few strides behind.
“Leave me alone.”
“What’s the plan here, huh?” He asked. “You just gonna keep walkin’ till your feet fall off?”
“No, just till I’m away from you, Michael.” You retorted coldly.
“Hey, stop calling me that.”
“That’s your name!”
“Not to you! To you it’s Mikey, or baby, or my love, not fuckin’ Michael!”
“Fuck you, Michael!” You caught him off guard when you spun around, poking your index finger into his chest. “You couldn’t just let it be. You had to ruin Christmas for the whole fucking family!”
“Why do you care so much, huh?”
“Why do I— Jesus, do you even hear yourself? You do nothing but ruin shit for yourself for no goddamn reason! No one forced you to throw that fork!”
Michael scoffed and ran his hand over his lips, his warm breath evaporating into the cold air as he raised his voice again. “So we’re gonna pretend that’s why you’re upset? Because of the fork?”
“I’m upset because you ruined any chance at having a good Christmas with our family!”
“They’re not our fuckin’ family.” He laughed, though no traces of humor could be found in his eyes. “They’re mine! Okay? I’m the fuckin’ Berzatto, not you.”
Your eyes widened at his words. You parted your lips to retort, but he just kept going, slicing your heart in two with expert precision.
“You wanna act like the- the chaos bothers you, but you thrive on that shit — You’re just in a shitty mood because you miss your own family, and now that you can’t replace them with mine, you want some fuckin’ oxy to ease the pain, ain’t that right?”
Smack!
You’d never hit Michael before, never wanted to. Like any couple, you had your share of fights and passive aggressive comments. One thing you two never did, though, was weaponize your addictions against each other. It was an unsaid invisible line that had never been crossed until now. Michael Berzatto, the man you loved more than life itself, had never been so mean. At least not to you. 
It happened faster than you expected, your small hand reaching up and slapping across his stubbly cheek. He just stood there, eyes dark and slightly angry, but you weren’t afraid. You were furious, hot tears filling your eyes. “Fuck you.”
You slapped him again. And again. Then, you beat on his chest with your fists. Michael started trying to swat your hands away, but when that proved ineffective, he caught your wrists in his hands, yanking you into a nearby alley, away from the night’s few prying eyes. 
“Stop, stop.” He grunted when you landed another smack to his head, finally pinning you up against the nearby brick wall by your wrists. “Stop.”
“I hate you.” You spat.
“No, you don’t.”
You continued to fight against his grip, but he was strong and steady, keeping you in place as you continued to tell him how much you despise him. He knew he was wrong, but he refused to say it. After all the shit that went down that night with his family, with you, he felt like he was going crazy. It was like he was abandoned in the middle of the ocean in a boat with a tiny hole. And even though the hole was small, it was so methodically cut that water was pouring in like a faucet, and the boat was sinking. So he grabbed onto the only lifeline he was certain would be there: you.
You, with the most beautiful eyes that were now filled with angry tears. You, the hero of all his dreams and the victim in all his nightmares. You, whose heart was so broken, so crumbled when he met you, yet still managed to love him with all your being.
He loved you. 
It all hit him at once, and he gently pressed his lips to yours. You turned your head away from him, rasping out your hatred once more. “I hate you.”
“You don’t.” His voice was deep and rough, but the tone was soft. Was he even talking to you?
“Yes, I fucking do.”
His lips trailed across your jawline, wet kisses placed on his path. “No, you don’t.”
You hated how easily he was able to do this to you, like pushing a button. You were supposed to be angry with him. You were angry with him. But your body didn’t care about the argument. Your body slowly gave up the fight against his grip, wanting the heat that his touch produced, your emotions be damned. A few tears fell from your eyes just as a soft moan slipped past your lips, an instinctive response to the way Michael’s body pressed yours against the wall, his growing length pressed into your hip. 
He slipped a leg between yours, pushing his denim-covered thigh into your pussy. You could feel a wave of arousal soaking your panties. “You’re mean, Michael.”
“I know, baby. I know.” He admitted quietly.
He used his grip on your wrists to gently pull your hands to your breasts. He pressed your hands in before covering them with his own, helping you knead the sensitive flesh. Even beneath your layers, you could feel his touch, and it made you whimper. His deft thumb ran over your hardening nipples, and a soft groan tumbled from his lips. “Just let me make you feel good.”
Somewhere in the back of your mind, you noted his acknowledgement. And his lack of apology.
He kept up his movements, moving your hands to squeeze your breasts, pressing his thigh into your weeping pussy. Somewhere along the way, your hips began to rock back and forth on him. His brown eyes never left yours, even as you cried. It was strange, how your heart hurt so badly that tears fell freely down your face, but your body was pushed closer and closer to the edge.
Still, you gasped for breath as the pleasure began to creep out of your core. “Mi- Mikey,” You moaned. “Please!”
“I’m not goin’ anywhere, baby. Let it all out.”
And it all came out at once, sobs pushing past your lips as euphoria crashed over your body in waves. You clenched around nothing, head tipping back to hit the brick wall. But you never felt the cold brick — one of Michael’s hands left your breast to cup the back of your head, the protective gesture juxtaposing the unending push of his thigh into your pussy to help ride out your orgasm.
Even as your orgasm faded away, your hips continued to buck against him. Your hands found a new home on his broad chest, trailing down, down, down until you felt the leather of his brown  belt. You wasted no time in unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his jeans, sliding the zipper down so you could easily reach into his briefs and pull his cock out. He moaned at your firm grasp, hips bucking into your touch.
Everything moved much quicker now, more desperate than before. You stroked his cock, spreading his precum along the shaft. His forehead pressed against yours as he stared at the way your smaller hand worked him over, twisting over the head on every downward stroke. “Fuck, that’s good.” He groaned.
“Help me.” You whined needily as you thrust your hips against his thigh once more, hoping he’d get the message.
He nodded quickly, kneeling down in front of you. His big hands slide up your thighs under your jean skirt, flipping the rough fabric up over your belly. Your legs were covered by sheer black stockings, a layer of protection from the cold winter chill. But neither of you could bear to wait, to take them off properly. He tore a large hole in the crotch and pushed your panties to the side, muttering curses at how your arousal shone in the moonlight. 
“Perfect fuckin’ cunt, sweetheart.” He pushed his index finger through your swollen lips, collecting your juices before slipping into your twitching hole. “Can you take two for me?”
He didn’t bother to wait for an answer. He pushed his middle finger in on the second thrust, curving them to press on that spongy spot on your upper wall that you can never reach yourself. You cried out his name, and your back arched off the wall. His fingers were bigger than yours, thicker too, but they still didn’t fill you the way that you needed.
You whimpered when he wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking firm and hard. “Want your cock, Mikey. Want- oh shit!”
Your orgasm was hard and unexpected, pulling you under before you could even tell him to fuck you. Your legs buckled, and you buried your hands in his thick, black hair to ground yourself. A muffled moan came from between your legs when you tugged on the roots, trying to pull him off your sensitive clit.
He finally relented, pulling away from you and pushing his fingers, soaked in you, into his mouth. He licked them clean without hesitation, only stopping when you tugged on his wrist. You pulled him in by his shirt, kissing him. It was deep and passionate, proving what you both knew to be true.
You didn’t hate him. Maybe you wanted to, but you didn’t. Or maybe couldn’t is the better word.
He cupped your face with both his large hands, wiping away any remnants of tears from your earlier sobs. His tongue licked into your mouth as you moaned, tasting the sweet tang of your juices in his saliva. You reached down to stroke his cock again, and he crowded you closer to the wall. “Want you inside.” You whispered.
“I know, baby.”
His open jeans impeded his efforts to get closer to you, buttons, zipper, and belt now in the way. His hands hurried to push the waistband of his open jeans down and out, ignoring how the frosty air raised goosebumps on his skin. His belt buckle jingled loudly, and something clattered to the pavement, but you could only focus on getting him inside you. His hands returned to your face, making you keep your gaze on his.
You pushed his cock through your pussy lips, let your arousal messily coat his shaft until it was all over your inner thighs. Both your panting was the only thing you could hear over the wet sounds of his length sliding between your swollen lips. You whined when the head of his dick bumped against your clit. 
“Guide me in, sweetheart.” He told you, eyes locked on yours. “Take what you want.”
His head, already weeping with precum, nudged at your entrance, and you canted your hips up until the first few inches sunk inside. You lifted your leg around his hip in an attempt to take more of him, but it wasn’t enough on your own. Finally, he pressed forward, fully sheathing his cock within your soft walls. All the while, Michael held your face between his hands, gazing deep into your eyes as you whimpered. “There you are.” He groaned softly. “My girl.”
Your heart twisted at his words. How could he even say that? After saying the most vile things to you, what made him believe that you’d still be his? He nudged his hips forward a bit, and the tip just barely kissed your cervix, shooting a strange blend of pain and pleasure up your spine. You shook your head, hands grasping at his arms to steady yourself. “No, I… I- fuck, Mikey, I hate you so much.”
“Don’t say that.”
“It’s true.” You moaned pathetically, still seething, angry enough to lie through your teeth just to give him a glimpse of the pain he caused you. Your nails dug into the thick fabric of his coat as he began to move, thrusting in and out of your cunt. The alley practically echoed with squelching sounds, and anyone walking by would know what was going on in those shadows. But neither of you could bring yourselves to care, lips falling apart as your sensitive walls clamped down on his length.
“You don’t fuckin’ say that to me.” He repeated with a grunt, leaving the tiniest pat on your cheek to regain the attention of your eyes rolling in pleasure. “You love me. Know you do. ‘S — shit, you’re so tight — ‘s the only thing I’m goddamn sure of, you hear me?”
One hand left your cheek to wrap around your thigh, pulling your leg higher around his hip. He thrusted again with renewed strength before looking down to where you both connected. The sight made the pit of his stomach flip deliciously: the slightly tanned base of his cock coated with a creamy white ring, little strands of your wetness dangling between you both when he dared to pull his hips away. “Fuckin’ takin’ my dick so well, baby.” He bit his lip, his voice sounding almost entranced. “Squeezin’ like you don’t want me to leave.”
“Good thing I’m not goin’ anywhere.” He continued, groaning when your hands slid up his back and into his hair. You pulled hard, and his thrusts faltered ever so slightly. His other hand left your cheek to brace himself against the wall, and his head fell into the crook of your neck, puffs of his hot breath warming your skin.
“You can’t keep doing this shit, M-Mikey. Can’t take your shit out on me.” You mewled as he adjusted his grip on you, pushing you closer to the wall. He left you no space to squirm when his hips started to move faster, his cock bullying its way in and out of your soft, puffy folds to nudge against the spongy spot on your upper wall. You cried out as that unique sensation shot pleasure to every nerve ending in your body, “Fuck, right there!”
“I got you, sweetheart, that’s it.” He responded in kind, adjusting his stance just right so he could drag the notch of his cockhead along your G-spot with every thrust. “Right there, yeah?”
“Oh my god, don’t stop. You’re gonna make me come!”
Michael lifted his head from your neck, meeting your eyes again. They were dark, glazed over, as he slowed his hips, still moving but not enough to finish you off. You felt his cock twitch inside you, and he knew it wouldn’t be long until he flooded your insides with his release, but he wanted to hear you say it: he wanted you to take back your words. “Say you don’t mean it.”
Your pussy fluttered around him in tandem with the whine spilling past your lips. “Mikey—”
“You don’t hate me. You love me. Say it.” He punctuated each sentence with a nudge against your G-spot, soft and tempting.
“N-no, you,” You heaved out a shuddering breath when his fingertips met your swollen clit, rubbing in tight, slow, torturous circles. “You’re being unfair. You- oh my god, yes - you can’t be n-nasty to me and—” 
“Just say it for me, baby.” He mumbled against your lips. He was practically begging you to take it back, but, of course, Michael Berzatto would never stoop to such lengths. So, he kept rubbing your clit and nudging your G-spot, punching the breath out of you with his thick cock. “Promise I’ll make you come. I’ll make it so fuckin’ good for you. Just need to hear it.”
And, of course, as you always did, you gave in. “I didn’t mean it.” You admitted breathlessly. “I love you.”
The tension visibly rolled off his shoulders as his head dropped to your breasts, pounding your cunt as you moaned beneath him. “Fuck, I love you, too, baby. Love you so fuckin’ much, it hurts.” He groaned into your skin.
“Mikey, ‘m close!” You gasped, the assault on your cunt and clit too much to bear. 
“Wanna feel you squeeze my cock, sweetheart.” He huffed, nails digging into your thighs, your stockings providing no refuge from the dull pain. “Show me how much you love me, c’mon.”
And then, white-hot, earth-shattering pleasure. You nearly blacked out as you clenched around him, stars burning into supernovas behind your eyelids. Your fluttering walls begged him to stay buried deep inside you. Back arched against the wall, your breasts pushed closer to his face, and he didn’t bother lifting up, resting his cheek on the soft fabric that covered your warm flesh as he fell over the edge with you. He groaned out your name as he shot thick spurts of his warm, sticky come inside you. He knew he’d never come so much in his life, only lifting his head when he heard louder squelching noises from where you both connected. 
As he thrusted, slow and deep, the white creamy juices that once only circled the base of his cock dribbled out of your pussy, around the sides of his length. A bit slid down your thigh, and his eyes rolled back, reveling in how his balls pulsed with pleasure at the sight.
His whole body relaxed as you both rode out the waves of pleasure. As you came down from your orgasm, your head lolled to the side. Your eyes fluttered closed as you cherished his weight on top of you. When your eyes opened, your vision was still a tad blurry, but you blinked through the fog. 
There was something bright on the ground. It was small, cylindrical, and… red? No — it was orange.
“What’s that?”
Michael hummed in response, his speech a bit slurred. “What’s what?”
He lifted his head from your breasts, following your gaze. And he froze, eyes stuck on the tiny bottle of painkillers he’d swiped from his mother’s medicine cabinet after you left. It must have fallen from his pocket when he opened his jeans.
“Are you high right now?”
Michael almost cringed at your whisper. It was different from all your yelling and slapping and arguing before. You were just mad then, and he knew that he could win you over like he had a million times before. This time, it was sad. Cold. Disappointed. 
He wasn’t sure if he could come back from that.
You wriggled beneath him until you could push him away, watching him stumble a bit. He was no longer standing tall, a bit slouched, and he swayed aimlessly from side to side. With the way he was fucking you, his blood was pumping, so they must just now be kicking in at full force. You knew — you were certain of the answer, but you wanted to hear it from him.
“Michael. Are you high?”
He had just enough of his wits left to take a step toward you with remorse in his voice, “Baby, I—”
You held up a hand, taking a step away from him. “I… I’ll call Richie. You can stay with him tonight. Or your mother, I don’t….” He called your name again as you fixed your panties and pulled your skirt back down over your ass. “I can’t do this with you right now, Michael.”
You waited for a moment. For what, you weren’t sure. An apology? An explanation? An unremorseful tirade? Part of you would have even been okay with a fight.
But he just leaned against the brick wall, unable to support himself on his own any longer. He clumsily tucked his softening length back into his pants and mumbled his short reply, a correction. “‘S Mikey.”
Snow began to fall in time with your tears. You drew your coat closer, and turned your back to him. “I’m going home.”
“Besides work, how’ve you been feeling?”
“I don’t know, just extremely tired all the time. But what else is new, y’know?”
“And how’s your love life?”
“This is your way of asking if I’m still sleeping with Michael.”
“Well, are you?”
You let out a scoff as you adjusted your position on the couch. Your therapist, Deborah, watched you with knowing eyes as you sat against the arm of the couch, offhandedly pulling a throw pillow into your lap. Your index finger wrapped endlessly around the fringe as you carefully mulled over your words. “Well, I haven’t relapsed in almost a year and a half.”
“That’s good.” She smiled. “Also not what I asked.”
“Okay, I’m still seeing him. Or, sleeping with him.”
“So, it’s not a relationship?”
“No.”
“Do you want it to be?”
You paused. You thought about the possibilities of what could have been — of what once had been. Dates, family dinners, shared apartment. Maybe you’d have gotten married and had kids. You’d have brought them up to be better, to break the cycle of whatever crazy shit made you both the way you were. But you also had to accept who he was. 
You replied, “No.” It was a lie, and Deborah knew that, but you played it off anyway.
She leaned forward, setting her notepad down and resting her elbows on her knees. “Is he still using?”
You nodded reluctantly, “He says he’s not. And he hasn't been high around me since the, uh, Christmas dinner thing last year. But I’ve seen it… pill bottles lying around. Prescriptions that aren’t his.”
You trail off, once again running through what might have been. Would Michael still be sober if you stayed with him? Were you the only thing keeping him from losing his mind? Were you to blame? Your finger slowed around the fringe, heart aching in your chest. 
Deborah gave you a cautionary look, like she could read your mind. “Stop it.”
You sighed, “But what if—”
“Michael is a grown man. His sobriety is his responsibility, and his alone. Just like yours.” She repeated the same words that she did almost every session, reminding you that you were not at fault. “I know it hurts, and it’s okay to let it, but you cannot blame yourself for his decisions.”
“I just- I miss him. How he used to be. But if this is all I can get…” You feel pathetic for even admitting it, but it was the truth.
Deborah watched you carefully, knowing that there wasn’t much she could do but advise you. You were going to see Michael whether it was a good idea or not. So she figured you should know what you’re really getting into. She leaned back, crossing one leg over the other. “Do you know what codependency is?”
Your brow furrowed, “No, but I’m sure you’re about to tell me.”
“It’s when two people depend on each other in an unhealthy way. Usually, one person learns to placate the other, keep them calm, while the other person continues unhealthy behaviors because they know their partner will be there to help them when it gets too bad.”
“Okay, I see where you’re going here. It’s not healthy for me—”
“It’s not healthy for either of you.” She clarified. “I know you love Michael. And I’m sure he loves you as much as he can. But I think the best way for you to help him and yourself — if that’s what you want to do — is to stop enabling him.”
Stop enabling him. 
That’s all you could think about for the rest of the session. Those three words terrified you. How would he react if you put your foot down, if you said this needed to stop? What if he never spoke to you again? You loved him, the man that put your heart back together when it was in a million shattered pieces. You were lost, unsure of how to handle the situation.
Twenty minutes later, when you left your therapist’s office, your phone dinged with a text. It was Michael, as usual;
u busy tonight? wanna see u. 
And of course, you gave in. But not without thinking up a plan. You took a deep breath and typed out your reply:
meet me in the parking lot off fourth street at 7:30. wanna take u somewhere.
And you tried to hold out, you really did. But no sooner than you arrived, Michael’s lips were on your neck, sucking and licking, making it hard to think. Before you could even remember Deborah’s warning, you were in the backseat of his car, fogging up the windows as you bounced up and down on his cock. “‘M gonna come!” You warned him.
“Go on, sweetheart.” He encouraged with a groan, strong hands plastered flat against your sweaty back. “Tight cunt’s gonna pull the come right outta me.”
“Fuck, ‘m coming, Mikey!” You whimpered, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. His hands gripped your hips, grinding you down on his cock to ride out your orgasm. Your clit bumped deliciously against his pubic bone, and your walls clamped down even tighter, throwing Michael headfirst into his own orgasm.
“Holy- oh my god, don’t fuckin’ stop, baby.” He moaned, throwing his head back. His hips pushed up of their own accord, his thick cock twitching inside you as he shot his come as deep as he could go. He brought one hand down on your ass as you thrusted weakly against him. “That’s it, sweetheart, get every drop.”
You rested your weight on him, your sweaty forehead against the leather headrest. You both took a silent moment to catch your breath, regroup after the explosive sex you always seem to have. Turns out, even with all your disagreements, the attraction never stopped. His hands rubbed up and down your back, almost lulling you to sleep until he pressed his fingertips a little harder, and a moan passed through your lips, eyes shooting open. Michael chuckled deeply and kneaded at that spot, “What was that?”
“Fuck, I don’t know.” You admitted, tension rolling away as he worked at the knot. “My back has been killing me lately.”
“Work?”
“Maybe, but ‘m not sure. Just hurts sometimes.”
“Lucky for you, you got your own personal masseuse.”
You snorted, “My hero.”
His hand smacked against your backside playfully, making you jolt on his lap with a giggle. He laughed along with you, “Watch that tone, sweetheart.”
You shook your head, laughter dying down as your eyes haphazardly scanned the ledge of the back window. And next to an empty cup, you saw a piece of paper. A prescription made for Natalie Berzatto.
And it hit you like a train. You couldn’t keep doing this. It wasn’t fair to either of you. You couldn’t keep taking the best parts of him and ignoring the fact that he needed help. And he couldn’t expect you to be around at his beck and call forever. The time for playing pretend was over — you needed to take a real step for the both of you. 
You swung your leg over his lap and sat next to him, scanning the car floor for your panties. “Get dressed. I still have somewhere to take you.”
“You kidnappin’ me, baby?”
“It’s only kidnapping if you don’t go willingly.”
Minutes later, you were walking into a nearby building. The entire walk, he asked and asked where you were taking him, but you never answered, merely saying it was a surprise. When he walked in, and his eyes fell on the folded chairs set in a circle, his smile dropped. Without another word, he turned around and walked out.
“Michael, wait!” You were close behind, following him back outside into the hot, sticky summer night. “Just listen to me, okay?”
“So- so you think ‘cause you’re sober now you can do whatever the fuck you want, is that it?” He asked, pointing an accusatory finger at you.
“I’m just trying to help—”
“I told you I wasn’t fuckin’ using anymore!” He yelled at you.
“And I know that you are!” You snapped back. “I’ve seen the empty pill bottles, Michael. All the prescriptions that are never in your own fucking name. I’m not stupid!”
“Stupid enough to keep comin’ back!” He spat at you. “W-what changed, huh? Is it the therapist? ‘Cause before her, you were happy to just fuck me and leave, pills be damned.”
“Oh, fuck that, Michael.” You laughed humorlessly, pushing at his chest. “You are not doing that anymore, being a dick to me because you can’t accept the truth.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“And what would the truth be, sweetheart? Fuckin’ enlighten me.”
“That you’re gonna fucking destroy yourself if you don’t get help!” You shouted. Tears were filling your eyes at the thought, and you realized you weren’t even angry. You were desperate — desperate for him to do something, anything to help himself. “You- you push everyone that loves you away! Me, Richie, Carm—”
“You leave Carmen outta this.” He grumbled, looking away to avoid seeing the tears that fell down your face.
“Everyone that cares, everyone that tries to help, you just treat them like complete and utter shit because you don’t know how to ask for help! But you don’t have to fucking ask, Mikey — we’re offering! You just have to take it and do something before it’s too late!”
Michael was quiet, eerily so. There was a time when you would’ve been able to read him like a book, to say exactly what he needed to hear. But you couldn’t anymore. And that scared you.
You stepped forward with a sniffle, placing your hands on his biceps. You rubbed up and down in a way that you hoped was comforting. “Just one meeting. That’s all I’m asking.”
When he finally looked back at you, his chest tightened at the sight. Your beautiful eyes, filled with tears and a shimmer of hope that he might agree. And part of him wanted to. Some inkling deep down inside of him wanted to wipe your tears, take your hand, and march into that meeting determined to stay sober for the rest of his life. If only to settle down and make a life with you, one that he could be proud of.
But, as always, something stopped him. A small doubt creeping in, telling him he couldn’t do it. That he wasn’t capable of normality, that it wasn’t in his blood. He was drowning in sorrow and pity, and he was willing to accept that darkness — welcomed it, even. But what kind of man would he be if he dragged you under with him? He cupped your face in his hands, shaking his head. Your hands slid up his forearms and stopped on his wrists with a desperate iron grip. His voice was barely a whisper, “I’m not going to that meeting, baby.”
“Mikey, please.” You begged. “I love you.”
“You can’t fix me.” He hoped you heard what he meant to say: I love you, too.
He pressed a soft kiss to your lips, and responded in kind. It was gentle, melancholic, but it was his way of saying goodbye. His way of expressing the love that he could never quite show you in the way you deserved. But the love was there nonetheless, tearing at his heart until his chest was hollow, nothing left but the memory of you.
When he pulled away, he had to pry your hands off him and take a step back. He gave you a sad smile, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Enjoy your meeting, sweetheart.”
He turned around and walked away. A few tears escaped his eyes when he heard a heart-wrenching sob pass through your lips. He wiped them away quickly and tried to walk faster. 
He was gone the next month.
“We’re closed!”
“Maybe you should lock the door then.”
You were still in your black dress and heels when you arrived at The Beef. No one knew where Carmy was, but you’d had an idea in the back of your head. You weren’t sure if you were right, but it only made sense that he’d be at his brother’s restaurant. 
Well, at the restaurant his brother left him. 
When Carmy emerged from the back, he stared, his eyes red from crying. “How’d you know I was here?”
You shrugged, “This is usually where I’d find him too.”
“Yo, please, please don’t come in here with that sentimental bullshit, alright?” He said, his tone sharp and mean. “If I wanted to hear about how great he was, I would’ve gone to the funeral.”
“You should’ve been there anyway. He was your brother.” 
“Fuck you.”
“Fuck you, Carmen, I didn’t come here to pick a fight.”
He turned on his heel, stomping back to the kitchen, and you followed close behind. “What did you come for then?”
“We’re going to a meeting.”
Carmy kneeled on the floor, next to a bucket of soapy water and a wet rag. He picked it up and wrung it out with a grunt. “What are you talking about?”
“Would you prefer NA or AA?”
He was scrubbing at the same dirty spot that he had for the last hour and a half, but your question made him pause. He looked up at you in disbelief, letting out a scoff. “Excuse me?”
“There are two NA groups I know of, but only one AA, and it starts soon so—”
“Y’know, you’re the addict here, not me.”
“Which is exactly how I know you need to go to a meeting.”
He was seething, an angry red steadily creeping from his neck to his face, one prominent vein bulging in his forehead as he shouted at you. “Goddamnit, I don’t need to go to a fuckin’ Al-Anon meeting! I’m just grieving, alright?!”
“Carm—”
“No, fuck that. The whole reason I didn’t go to the funeral is so I wouldn’t be around that bullshit! You know how Ma gets, and without Mikey here to fix it…”
“Michael was never gonna fix your mother.”
“Right, ‘cause he was too busy trying to fix you.” Carmen let out a harsh chuckle. “‘I’ll call you back, my girl needs me. Hold on, my girl is on the other line.’ Instead of fixing his restaurant, or-or helping his mother, he was making sure you were on the right track. Making sure you don’t relapse.”
Your heart stopped. Your blood burned. You wanted to let loose on him then and there. Yell and shout and cry about how Michael could barely fix himself, let alone you. You wanted to tell Carmen that it was you who desperately tried to fix Michael, make him sober, turn him into the man you knew he could be. Or at least, the one you believed he could be. The man Carm thought he was.
It baffled you how the entire family managed to hide the fact that Michael was an addict from Carmy. But it was a group effort, a last ditch effort to give him the big brother he’d always wanted, the one he remembered from his childhood. He was truly blind to Michael’s true nature, but you knew it was partially because Carmy had his own thing going on. You could see it behind his eyes — it was the same look Michael got before he did something self-destructive. 
Instead of yelling or screaming like you wanted to, tears filled your eyes. You knew from experience the Berzatto men could be mean, especially under pressure, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. Unlike earlier in the day, you couldn’t hold them back. Tears fell freely down your cheeks. 
But unlike when his older brother spat unkind words your way, Carmy didn’t try to distract you from it or talk his way out of it. No, his face dropped when he realized the severity of his words. He watched as your knees buckled beneath you, moving across the floor to catch you once an ugly sob wretched its way past your lips. He held you as your body shook with the emotions that you’d been ignoring all day. One of his hands rested on the back of your head, stroking your hair with his thumb. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, okay?”
You don’t know how long you cried. You just sobbed and sobbed until there was nothing left, until you felt completely and utterly empty. Luckily, Carmy helped you sit on the floor. He sat next to you, both your backs against the dishwasher. It creaked loudly under your combined weight, and you sat up. “Sorry,” You croaked out. “Should I not lean on that?”
Carmy chuckled quietly and drew his knees up, resting his forearms atop them. “Piece of shit doesn’t work, don’t worry about it.”
The tiniest smile tugged at your lips as you leaned back and wiped away your tears. “Good. For me, I mean. Sucks for business though.”
His smile faded away as he watched you wipe your tears. His stomach turned uncomfortably at the fact that he’d been so mean, that he’d made you cry. He knew, of course, that he wasn’t the only reason you broke down, but he didn’t like that he piled on. He called your name softly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that to you.”
“Carm, it’s ok—”
“It’s not.” He shook his head, blue eyes piercing into yours. “You were right. Michael couldn’t fix Ma’s problems. And you didn’t need him to fix yours. He was lucky to have you.”
A sigh passed through your lips, and for the first time in a long time, tension rolled off your shoulders. “He loved you, Carmen.”
He fought back a sad smile, “He loved you, too.”
You paused, tears of grief filling your eyes before you remembered what you came for. You took a deep breath and wiped at your cheeks. “I need to show you something.”
His brow furrowed, turning a bit to face you, resting one leg on the ground. “What?”
You grabbed your phone from your pocket and pulled off the case. You lifted the strip of film from your rubber case, handing it to him. “This is why I need to go to an NA meeting tonight. Figured you could go with me.”
A hand over his mouth and tears in his eyes, Carmy let out a single quiet sob as he stared at the two black and white ultrasounds. “Is it…?”
You nodded, “They are.”
“They?”
“Turns out, you can’t forget to take birth control for even one day. I thought taking two the next day might help, but here we are.” Chuckling quietly, you wiped away the tears that were threatening to fall once more. “I’m not… I’m not asking you to replace Mikey or be their dad or anything. It would… y’know, just be nice not to do this by my—”
“Woah, hey,” He stopped you with a shake of his head, not even wanting you to think like that. “You’re family, period. Have been since Michael brought you home. And always will be. Alright?”
Finally, a sliver of hope. You smiled, “Yeah.”
“Good.” He handed the photos back to you gently, as if one wrong move would ruin them. Then, he stood on his feet, wiping a hand over his face and taking a deep breath. He offered his hand. “Now, come on. I’m taking you to your meeting.”
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Text
Pleading Through The Bathroom Door
--genre + trope: hurt/comfort, college!au, angst, slight fluff.
--pairing: college!tasm!peter parker x college!f!reader
--word count: 1.9k
--summary: after ignoring Peter's suggestion not to go out tonight, you run into a situation that makes you wish you heard him out.
--warnings: alcohol, language, throwing up, violence, creepy drunk guy, descriptions of a minor injury, reader wears makeup, angst, a little bit of fluff at the end, peter just wants to help:((.
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--gif credits: @marlosrph
As you make your way back home through the brisk air of New York City in the fall, you pray to whoever was up there that Peter won’t be home when you get there. You loved him so much, but the thought of him seeing you in this ruffled state made you want to turn around and head back to the dinghy club you came from. Even though that was the last place you wanted to be, coming face-to-face with your boyfriend seemed worse. 
He begged you not to go out tonight, and you ignored him. One of your friends, Mariah, was having a hard time with her now ex-boyfriend, and what kind of friend would you be if you didn’t help her take her mind off of things? 
The night started well, after a few tears shed by your friend, she was ready to party. It was her night to call the shots, you were just the moral support in the background. Because it was just the two of you, she never left your sight, especially in the state she was in. Her body was moving so carelessly. With her messy dancing and a drink in her hand, the last thing on her mind was the shitty breakup she endured. You were happy for her, for letting go and enjoying herself. 
As the night progressed, her body language was clearly betraying her words. She told you over and over again that she was fine, and that she swore she was okay. Just a few moments after those slurring sentences, she was pushing her way through the crowd to hunch over and empty her stomach into the nearest trash can. Making your way next to her, you bunch her hair into a ponytail and rub her back as she continues to hurl. She turns her face to look at you, tears spilling out of her eyes, “I’m so sor-sorry, (Y/N).”
“Hey babe,” slowly lifting her back up, “It’s okay, it happens to the best of us. C’mon, let’s go home.” 
Her apartment was not even three blocks away, so you decided to walk there. She seemed to have sobered up quite a bit after she threw up, and the water from the corner market you stopped by helped as well. The walk home was uneventful, you two were mostly silent but picked up conversation when you were getting closer to her apartment. As you make it to the front steps, you watch her walk in and close the door behind her. A sigh of relief leaves your mouth, knowing that she made it home safe was enough to lift a slight weight off your shoulders.
That moment of peace is quickly stolen from you when you realize you have to get yourself home safe too. It’s only a few blocks away, so it should be fine. Moving your feet towards the direction of your apartment, you suddenly feel a presence behind you. Picking up the pace and turning a corner, you realize that there is someone behind you. A taller man, definitely bigger than you, makes direct eye contact with you as you look over your shoulder, an ugly grin rising to his face. Your entire body went rigid as you picked up the pace. Reaching a hand towards your purse, you pull out your phone, hoping to call Peter. What you’re met with is a black screen, it’s completely dead. Placing your phone back into your purse, you start to make unnecessary turns, hoping that the man tailing behind you was just some sick coincidence, you hoped that he was just headed home as well. 
The footsteps behind you become louder, and before you can comprehend the distance between you and him, a calloused hand grabs your arm and pulls you to the ground. Stalking his way towards you, you quickly get back on your feet and walk backward as quickly as you can. “C’mon sugar,” his words slurring, “come with me back to my place…you’ll have a good time, I promise.” He’s evidently wasted, so wasted to the point where he’s swaying where he stands. He reaches out to you again, trying to grab you by the arm again to drag you to God knows where. This was all you needed for you to reach for the pepper spray Peter got you a few months ago. At the moment, it seemed silly. Your boyfriend, Spider-Man, was giving you an obnoxious-colored can of pepper spray to defend yourself. Now standing in front of a drunken idiot about to lunge at you, it didn’t seem silly anymore. 
He was more than close enough for you to spray the liquid at him, and as soon as you did, he hunched over, doubling in pain as he shouted profanities towards you. You took this as your opportunity to run as fast as you could, and you did. The overwhelming fear of being handled again coursing through your veins remained as a motivation to keep moving.
 You’re still a little drunk as the feeling of paranoia heightens every time you look back behind you. One more glance over your shoulder was all it took when a piece of uneven pavement caught your toe, and you came face to face with the concrete once again. There’s a burning pain on the palms of your hands, along with a pulsing feeling spreading its way from the open wound on your knee. 
Trying to recollect how you got into this situation in the first place plagues your mind and keeps you occupied until you’re met with the front door of your apartment. As you make your way up the stairs, the possibility of Peter being home ignites a wave of anxiety through your bones. There’s a slight hesitation when you come face to face with your front door, you take a deep breath in before you grab your keys and unlock the door. 
Peering in, there are no signs of Peter, a breath of relief and a wave of sadness overcome you. A part of you wishes he was here to help you, his mere presence was always enough to make the worries of the day leave your system. 
Turning on the harsh light of the bathroom, your eyes strain at the sudden burst of cool light. You try not to make eye contact with yourself in the mirror as you reach down for the medical supplies box under the sink. After you have placed everything on the small bathroom counter, you set yourself down on the lid of the toilet. With shaky hands, you open the container and pick out some things you need to fix yourself. As you reach for the box, you notice a discoloration on your arm, roughly the same size as the man’s hand. 
As if right on cue, you hear the god-awful sound of the creaky window open, followed by a soft thud of Peter hopping down to the floor. “Fuck,” you curse to yourself as you run to the door and lock it quickly. 
Walking towards the kitchen, Peter can see the light in the bathroom is on, signifying that you made it home before him. “Hey baby, you’re back early,” he reaches for the handle to find that it’s locked. His brows furrowed in confusion.
You clear your throat, “Ye-yeah, Mariah wasn’t feeling too good, so we left early.” You shake your head in defeat, even after clearing your throat, your voice still shaking. 
Peter’s senses picked up on your unease and he reached for the handle for the second time, twisting it this time, “You alright, (Y/N)?”
A spark of panic, he knows something’s up. You ditch patching yourself up, messily putting the supplies back into the box. There’s no grace while you put everything away, you just need to clean up as fast as possible. While reaching for the gauze, you knock over the bottle of rubbing alcohol, “Shit, no I-I’m good. I’ll be out in a second!”
After hearing more clatter, Peter starts to worry, “Bug? Open the door.”
You’re overwhelmed, understandably, after everything that happened tonight along with the pressure to come outside, you break down in tears. “Peter, I swear I’m fine,” a broken sob escaping your shaking form, “I got it.”
“Please open the door, baby,” he pleads, in the softest voice imaginable. 
Finally giving in, you unlock the door and pull it open. The first thing Peter sees is the state you’re in. You’re hunched over on the floor on all fours, trying to clean up the mess you made. The makeup he watched you apply, is now smeared across your face as fat tears run down your cheeks. The second thing he notices is the bruise forming on your arm, a silent worry lost in his throat. He very slowly makes his way to you, not wanting to panic you any further, and gently lifts you from the floor, grabbing the supplies as well. Guiding you to sit on the bed, he places himself crouched in front of you, still in his suit. Not saying a word. 
Your breath is labored, and your shoulders are slumped. Not daring to make eye contact with him. Taking a look at your knees first, he grabs a cloth to start cleaning the angry raw skin. What scares you the most is that Peter is not speaking. Breaking the silence, you mumble, “I’m sorry.” 
Peter’s head snaps up to look at your face, still looking down at your hands, “Hey…What are you apologizing for?”
“You told me not to go out,” you take a wavering inhale, “and then I ignored you. Then this happened!” Your voice raises, and you’re getting upset with yourself. 
“I don’t know what happened, and you don’t have to tell me right now, but whatever happened tonight was not your fault. I only told you not to go because it’s way too cold outside to go out, bug. And never ever am I going to play the ‘I told you so game’ with you.”
You didn’t know what else to say, or even if you were able to say anything. What you knew was that you needed to be around Peter. Before another second passes, you lunge into Peter’s arms, wrapping your own around his neck. The sheer force of your hug would have sent both of you to the ground, but Peter balanced himself before you ever touched the ground. 
You both stay there for a while, eventually, Peter’s hand reaches up to rub up and down on your back, calming you into a relaxed state. “Can we go shower,” you ask, “I have that gross club smell on me.”
A relieved laugh leaves Peter, “Of course we can, smelly.”
You playfully hit his shoulder, as he lifts the both of you off the ground. As you make your way to the same bathroom you were crying in just a few minutes prior, you know that everything’s going to be alright, as long as Peter is by your side.  
You fell asleep that night to the warm comforter surrounding your figure, along with Peter’s heartbeat fluttering in your ears. The thoughts surrounding tonight could wait, at least until morning. 
--author's note: hi guys!! needed a little hurt/comfort because the weather is getting chilly, and it's getting darker outside:I...im currently working on the asks you guys have been sending me, and they're smutty as hell. you guys are horny asf, DAMN. don't forget to support your writers by liking, commenting, and reblogging!! my asks/inobx is open, so send me anything!!! ok, bye ily<33.
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Follow You Anywhere 6
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No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, controlling behavoiour, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: You’re online existence threatens to leak into your real life.
Characters: Captain Syverson
Note: dululand is my native country.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Asking for more or putting ‘part 2?’ is not feedback.
Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖
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You lay on your side. Tense and painfully awake. Aika’s sleeping form heaps in a shadow on the floor as you feel the body behind you breathing. Hot gusts, in, out, against the nape of your neck. A light dusting that feels like a furnace’s blast. 
You keep your back to Sy as you stare at the door. It’s been at least an hour since you laid down. He inched closer and closer, but gave up as you found yourself teetering on the edge.  
A snort makes you wince. You brace the side of the mattress as your eyes round. The rocky rumble continues, mellow to long calm exhales. He’s snoring. He’s asleep. 
You don’t move immediately. You wait it out until the noise is raucous. Even if you had any temptation to stay, you couldn't sleep through his thunderous blare. You hold your breath and slowly sit up, watching the slumbering canine on the floor. 
Aika raises her head as you rise but doesn’t move further. You slip to the edge of the bed and ease down until your feet touch the rug. You stand and she puts her head down, her collar jingling noisily. You swivel to look over your shoulder. Sy sleeps with his hand on the empty space of the bed, his other arm curled under his head. 
You back away, careful to tiptoe around Aika. As you get to the door, she remains as she is and so does her owner. You slip into the front room and let out your breath. You turn to face the darkness. You’re not going far. Maybe the dog senses that. 
You pull a pillow against the arm of the couch and nestle atop the cushions. You can’t close your eyes. You’re too anxious. You just lay there staring at the shadows of your apartment. 
Your eyelids droop little by little. Fatigue mutes your fear and your body slackens atop the couch. The noise of occasional traffic and the street drift in and lull you. You let your mind go black and descend into a shallow sleep. 
You give a start as you feel yourself falling. Your head snaps up and your eyes flutter open as you squeak. You’re not falling, you’re being lifted. You blink as you look up at the silhouette of Sy’s thick beard and his body heat seeps into you. 
“Huh,” you let out the confused hiccup as you squirm against him. 
“What’re ya doin’ out here, sweetie?” He growls as he carries you back into the bedroom. 
“I... couldn’t sleep.” 
He grumbles, the only acknowledgement of your excuse. He takes you to the bed, lowering you with him as he settles on the mattress again. Aika’s on her side, sleeping and unaware. He puts you on your side and pushes his body flush to yours as he wraps his arm around your middle. He holds you close, nuzzling your crown as he sighs. 
“Mmm, isn’t that better?” He purrs, “I never been so calm as I am with you, sug.” 
You gulp and make yourself nod. His words come off more like a threat a suggestion that he isn’t always this calm. You've seen him toe that line, how he’s always just barely restrained. How long can that last? 
“You’re so warm and cozy,” he rocks you slightly, “night, night, sweetie. Get some sleep.” 
You utter a ‘good night’ in return if only to assure him of your compliance. You’re brief respite only underlines his incessant clinginess. He always has to be near, always has to know what you’re up to. You suspect that isn’t new to him, not that it matters how long he’s been watching. Days, weeks, or months, it can’t undo the present. 
You close your eyes as they sting. You won’t fall back asleep, not in his arms. You’ll just lay there and wait for the few inches of freedom you get with the sunrise. It’s all you can do. 
🧸
As the morning shines in, your head pounds and your body aches. You’ve been locked in Sy’s arms all night, still as you can be. You don’t want to risk waking him again. When he’s asleep, you don’t need to worry about what he might do. 
Aika rouses first. She licks her paw until she’s bored then starts a restless tip tapping by the door. You figure she needs to go out but you don’t move. The click of her pclws finally disturbs the snoring behind your ear. 
“Aika, give me a minute,” Sy rolls away and yawns. “Swear that dog is better than any alarm clock.” 
He sits up, hunching over as he rubs his eyes. You glance at him over your shoulder as he jostles the bed. He gets up and searches out a tee shirt, pulling it on above his dark gym shorts. He tidies the stray shanks jutting out from his bear and smiles as he meets your gaze. You quickly look away. 
“I’ll take her around real quick. Why don’t you get some coffee going?” He suggests. 
You fall onto your back and push yourself up. You fold your arms as you make yourself look at him. You feel fractured. You’re about to break. 
“Sure,” you answer with a smile. 
“Good girl,” he winks and snaps his fingers at Aika. 
The dog prances out ahead of him and you watch him follow. You don’t stand until you hear the front door. You rush out and find the apartment empty, heart racing as your eyes scour the place. Your keys have gone with him. The fleeting idea of locking him out fizzles away. 
You pause and search for your phone. You don’t know where it went. He must’ve taken it. You return to the bedroom and grab a hoodie out of your dress. You pull it on over your pajamas and scurry back to the front door. You step into your slip-ons and slowly turn the door handle. 
You inch the door inward and peek into the hall. You can’t do this anymore. You won’t play along. You should’ve done this yesterday. You chalk it up to shock. You were too surprised to think clearly but this is your chance. 
You creep out into the hall and down to the door diagonal from your own. You knock, realising it might be a bit too early. You wait, swaying as you check over your shoulders. If he comes back and catches you... 
You knock again as no answer comes. You try not to let the panic down you as it swells higher and higher. Finally, Blair answers the door and you look at her frantically. 
“Please let me in,” you plead. 
“Um, is everything okay?” She asks. 
You don’t know her very well. You spoke a few times in the laundry room and exchanged tight-lipped smiles in the hallway. She looks as scared as you feel. 
“Please,” you peer down the hall again, “there’s no time.” 
“Alright, uh...” she backs up, “come in. Sorry, I--” she pauses to stifle a yawn, “had a late night.” 
You enter her apartment and wring your hands. She closes the door and you exhale. You face her and bounce on your toe nervously. 
“I’m sorry. I know it’s early, but... can I borrow your phone?” You ask. 
“Sure, but what’s going on? Are you alright?” 
You consider her question. You frown, “I don’t know.” 
Her eyes gleam with worry and she nods. She shuffles past you and disappears into the next room. You go back to the door and twist the lock. You peer out the peep hole but can’t quite see your own door. 
“Here,” Blair comes back and you spin around.  
“Thanks, uh... I... just need to make a call,” you reach for the phone and look down at the screen. It's an old flip phone.
You don’t know if they’ll listen but you have to try. At least then you can say you did. You dial and put the phone to your ear. 
“Emergency services, what’s your emergency?” The operator greets flatly. 
“Hi, uh...” you glance up at Blair, “there’s an intruder in my apartment.” 
He jaw drops and you give an awkward expression. 
“Ma’am, are you in the apartment?” The voice on the other end asks. 
“No, um, no, I’m at my neighbour’s but this man... he uh, he’s been following me and now he’s in my apartment. He’s been there all night and I asked him to leave but he won’t.” 
“Alright, ma’am, I understand, I’ll dispatch and officer to your location. Please do not return to your apartment.” 
You give your address at their request and hang up. You hand Blair her phone back and she takes it with a tremble. She clutches it to her chest. 
“There’s someone in your apartment?” She asks, her voice brittle. 
You nod and look around. Her place sure is cluttered. It smells like cinnamon and old paper. Books on books, shelves crammed with figurines, and boxes in stacks. It’s not dirty, just really full. 
“Yeah, well, he’s coming back,” you say as you chew your thumb and turn back to the door. Once more you go to look through the peep hole. 
You stay there, watching, waiting. You see Aika first. She’s off leash. She sits outside the door as Sy catches up and lets himself in. The door shuts behind him and you hold your breath. A few minutes past, what feels like years, and the door opens again. 
He hollers your name and his voice shakes you through the door. You clap your hand over your mouth and keep your eye through the lens. He paces towards you then back the other way. He continues to call your name. He marches back into the apartment and slams the door behind him. 
“Who is he?” Blair startles you as she stands shoulder to shoulder with you. 
You back up and look at her, “I don’t know.” 
“How... how does he know your name?” 
You shake your head and whisper, “he found me. Online. I don’t know what to do. He just... won’t leave me alone and I can’t get him to leave.” 
Her mouth opens, “oh? Wow that’s... scary.” 
You nod vehemently. It’s terrifying. 
“I never... I never had a man do that. Follow me... they don’t really talk to me,” she says. “I’m happy they don’t.” 
Your heart knots and you move away from the door, “it’s okay if I stay until the police show up? They told me to.” 
“Uh, sure, if you don’t mind...” she trails off and looks around at all her things. 
“No, no, it’s okay. Thank you.” 
“Do you want some green tea? My head hurts.” 
🧸
The pounding on the door alerts you to the cops just outside, but they’re not at Blair’s door. They’re knocking at your apartment. You go to look through the hole as your neighbour nurses her second cup of tea. You watch one cop’s shoulder, the only part of them you can see. 
The door opens but you can't see much. 
“Hello, sir, we got a phone call,” one officer declares, “do you live here?” 
“Yes,” Sy answers without hesitation, “I just moved in with my girlfriend.” 
“Right,” the other officer says, “and where is she?” 
Sy huffs, “I was just about to call. I took the dog out and when I came back, she was gone. I’m hoping she just went for some coffee but she left her phone.” 
“Mmm,” one of the cops hums. “You serve?” 
“How’d you know?” 
“Old man’s a vet,” the other man says, “can spot them a mile away. How long ya been back?” 
“A month,” Sy answers, “yeah, came home to my sweetheart and now... I’m terrified. What if something happened? Why didn’t I lock the door?” 
You hear a slap and silence, “sir, please.” 
“Sorry, I just, I'm so stupid.” 
One of the officers sighs and there’s another deep heave. A uniformed man moves into your view and knocks on the door, shifting it in the frame. You back up and collide with something. Blair stands right behind you, silent. You look back at her as her brow furrows between concern and confusion. 
“PD! Hello, we got a call from this location. Open up.” 
Blair gives a hopeless grimace, “we’re gonna get in trouble.” 
You cringe. “I’m sorry.” 
You go to the door and unlock it. You put your head down sheepishly and open it, “hello?” 
“Hello ma’am, are you the one who called?” 
You peek back at Blair again. You can’t drag her into this. 
“Yeah, officer, it was me,” you face him and push your shoulders back, “that man... that man doesn’t live with me. He came into my apartment and he refuses to leave. I don’t even know him--” 
“Officer, that’s a lie. You can come in and check, all my stuff is here. My dog,” Sy drawls. 
“Sir,” the other officer quiets him down. 
The one before you crosses his arm and returns his attention to you, “isn’t nice lying on a man, especially a soldier. Whatever you’re mad about, doesn’t give you the right to call us down here. That’s obstruction.” 
“I’m not lying,” you pout. “Please, sir--” 
“So if I go in that apartment and look around, I won’t find his stuff in there, hm? Just yours?” 
You stagger as if you’ve been struck. Is this part of his plan? Is that why he was so eager to get his stuff inside? 
“He brought it with him but I swear, I never saw him before yesterday--” 
“So this man, you wrote to him while he was over in the shit and now he’s back you’re playing victim? Is that right?” The officer growls, “take advantage of a man protecting his country, get some attention, and now you’re tryna throw him out? I should book you right now.” 
“Officer,” Sy steps forward, “please, don’t do that. She’s just... she’s upset, you know? I promised her some things and I wasn’t entirely truthful.” 
“That doesn’t give her the right,” the second officer grits. 
“I know, I know, but I can sort this out. You don’t need to scare her anymore,” Sy runs his hand over his close-shaved head, “she’s my woman, I can’t let you do that.” 
The officer in front of you scoffs, “good man,” he sneers in your direction, “get your head on straight and don’t be calling for your little tiffs again.” 
You stand there, gutless. That was your last resort. Really, your only. You look back at Blair one last time before you go out into the hall. You turn back and meet Sy’s gaze as you walk towards him, the officers glaring at you. You don’t care about them so much as you’re scared of what he’ll do when they leave. 
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**I like Blair haha. I kinda made myself want to explore that character more so let me know if you’d like to see her as a reader character and I might pair her up with her own crazy guy.** 
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sashaisready · 4 months
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This Must Be The Place: Chapter 7 - Make it up as we go along
Biker!Bucky x Femme Reader
Back at your beloved late grandmother's home to pack up her house, you have a run-in with the town's biker gang 'The Howling Commandos' and find yourself entangled with the metal armed President.
Series Masterlist
Warnings: Bit of assault towards Bucky (but not enough to hurt him), a just a note that this probably isn't the healthiest dynamic...
Ah surprise chapter drop! Hope you enjoy. I probably won't be able to post again until monday now. As always, I appreciate your lovely reblogs and comments. I'm so glad people are engaging with this series and I hope you continue to enjoy it!! I’m afraid I don’t have a taglist for this series, I don’t use them as I’ve had technical issues with them in the past. Sorry!
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(gif not reflective of how reader looks)
You knew he was right – you needed to clear the air, and fix whatever the hell was going on between you both (if anything). But you couldn’t resist being petty, lashing out after his poor treatment of you earlier. Granny always said be the bigger person…but she was a far better than woman than you.
“Sorry. Can’t. Not on the clock,” you shot back at him as you unlocked the car.
You opened the car door and his arm moved to your shoulder, holding you firmly to stop you from getting in. You held strong, not letting his touch melt you.
“Fine. I deserve that,” he said gruffly, “but I really do want to talk to you. Please”.
The softness in his voice caught you off guard and you found you were annoyed by the sudden wobble of weakness you felt. No! STRENGTH!
You sighed heavily. “Alright. Step into my office,” you gestured to the car.
You slipped into the driver’s seat as he dropped his hold from your arm, then he followed suit by getting into the passenger seat alongside you. The Mustang’s passenger seat looked almost comically small with his big bulk spread across it.
He turned to look at you, face perfectly illuminated by the parking lot lamps. It wasn’t fair that anyone could possibly look so hot in fluorescent lighting.
“This is a nice car,” he said admiringly as he looked around the interior.
“I know” you replied curtly. “She’s my girl”.
“What’s her name?”
“Sally”.
He blinked at you.
“Mustang…Sally? Really?”
You folded your arms defiantly. “Is that a problem?”
“No…no…it’s not…” but you could see in his face he was trying to hold back one of those stupid smirks.
“If you’ve come here to make fun of me you can get the hell out…”
“No! I haven’t. Christ. It’s just funny…that’s all. It’s…cute”.
“Shut up, James”.
“Ohhh…you found that out, huh?” he grinned wickedly. “Well joke’s on you, cos I like you saying it…”
You took a second to scowl and him, then stared ahead out of the windshield with your arms crossed, hoping you looked more mysterious stranger than you did tantruming toddler. The two of you sat uncomfortably in the resulting silence.
“I’ve been an ass,” he told you, his eyes intense.
“Yes, you fucking have” you growled back at him.
“I’m sorry…really-”
“Look…Bucky,” you interrupted him aggressively. “I get it, we kissed. It didn’t mean anything to you. Fine. Whatever. But you didn’t have to ignore me…you didn’t have to parade Amber around in front of me like-”
“Sugar…”
“No! I mean how hard would it have been to drop me a text? Or tell me you made a mistake? Literally anything…”
“Sug…can I speak-”
“I’m not some random girl in a bar, Bucky! You can’t just ignore me. We work together. You’re my boss. You can’t just lay one on me and act like I don’t exist and-”
“Sugar! I’m trying to explain myself here!!” he barked, but you seemed to be on a roll…the floodgates were open.
“And another thing! Why are you getting aggressive about me meeting guys?? I can date who I like! You don’t get to be angry, especially when-MMPH!”
Bucky had clamped his large metal hand over your mouth, quite literally silencing you. Your eyes widened in shock; his tactic must’ve worked because you were briefly stunned into submission.
“I’m sorry…that was rash of me, but I literally can’t get a word in edgewise…” he told you gently, his voice quiet as if trying to talk down a spooked horse. “If you’d just let me-”
You yelped and shrieked as you wrenched his hand from your mouth in disbelief.
“What the FUCK was that?” you squawked as you struck him on the shoulder. Not hard enough to hurt, if you even could hurt him, but hard enough for him to curse and utter your name in incredulity.
Suddenly you were climbing over the seat and swatting at him, your anger boiling over. The inevitable purge after holding everything in all night. You knew it must’ve looked funny as he was so much larger than you, but your anger outweighed any self-consciousness.
“What. The. Fuck” you cried out, punctuating each word with a thwack to Bucky’s torso as he swore and tried to shuffle back, but the lack of space in the car meant he had nowhere to go. He just bumped into the passenger window as he exclaimed at you.
He quickly became tired of your attempted assault and wrapped his arms around yours, trapping them at your sides and effortlessly pulled you over the seats. “Alright,” he said tiredly. “Enough of that!”
Suddenly you were incapacitated in his hold, essentially straddling his lap as you voiced your outrage and tried to wriggle out of his hold.
“Bucky! What the-”
“You wouldn’t stop hitting me and shouting in my face! Jesus! Do you have any idea what a menace you are?”
The two of you squabbled for a little longer, faces inches apart.
“If you would just listen…”
“You can’t just DO stuff like that!”
“Why do you have to fight me on every, single, thing?”
“Why can’t you just be upfront and direct with me for once?”
A sudden silence enveloped you both as if someone had flicked an off switch, the bickering now replaced with a shared penetrating stare between you the two of you. Almost nose to nose. It was as if you both realised your close proximity in the same moment.
You weren’t sure who went in first. But it didn’t matter. He freed your hands and they flew up into his hair as he kissed you roughly, and you kissed him back just as hard. It was heated, passionate but there was anger in there too. Pent up desire and rage, a deadly combination. You nipped roughly at his bottom lip with your teeth, and he hissed and retaliated by forcefully pulling you closer into him as the kisses became deeper and sloppier and your tongue was no longer yours but a separate force you couldn’t control. His hands made their way up your back, then moved back down across your waist, then he pulled you forwards and lifted your ass up and he squeezed fistfuls of it as he moaned into your mouth. Part of you wanted to slap him and call him a pervert but you were simply too caught up to do so. It was wrong but so right. You wanted to shun him and punish him, but you also couldn’t stay away from him. Damn him.
“You’re so annoying…” he murmured softly as he dotted kisses across your jawline.
“So are you…” you retorted as you rocked your hips against his lap and stretched to get more comfortable in the cramped car.
“I should’ve implemented a skirts-only uniform policy,” he growled as his hands explored the back of your jean-clad thighs.
“Stop talking,” you managed breathily before silencing him with another kiss.
He moved you further onto his lap again and you allowed him to. He was firm in his hold but never too rough. You leaned across him to pull the lever to recline the seat but in your urgency and ungainliness you managed to hit the horn with your backside, sending a loud tone that made both of you jump.
It seemed to snap you out of your stupor as you flung yourself back against the driver’s seat, your hands recoiling away from him like your fingers had been burnt.
“No…we gotta stop this,” you panted out as you regained your composure and smoothed down your mussed hair. The silence lay thick and heavy.
He sat back against his own seat looking a little bewildered. “Yeah…sorry. You’re right. I just…lost myself a little there,” he cleared his throat.
“You hurt me,” you told him meekly and unable to meet his gaze. “I feel really embarrassed. After we kissed…you didn’t get in touch. Then tonight you almost seemed annoyed I was there when you came in. And you spent the whole time with Amber, apart from when you got pissed at me for talking to another guy”.
You chewed your lip, mortified by your own vulnerability. But you were glad you finally said it out loud. It was the most honest thing you’d ever said to him.
You could see him nodding in your periphery. “I’m sorry, Sug,” he said quietly.
He took a deep breath. “That kiss…it did mean something to me you know”.
You finally turned to look at him, surprised by his admission. “What?”
He looked back at you. He seemed…smaller, somehow. “Of course it did,” he continued. “We both felt it, didn’t we? This thing between us. I feel a little crazy around you. You’re like this…brilliant woman. Smart and funny…makes the meanest spicy ‘marg for hundreds of miles,” he grinned.
Even you couldn’t stifle a chuckle at that.
“You also get under my skin in a way nobody else does. You make me so mad. But I can’t help being near you. And when you got hurt that night…I was so angry. Angry at myself for not protecting you. Angry at you for mouthing off and not getting help. I guess…I guess it sorta pushed me to finally make a move…and then Sam interrupted and…” he sighed “Fuck. I don’t know. I suddenly felt bad. I shouldn’t be hitting on my staff. Especially injured staff…”
“Yeah…but I wanted it too, Bucky. You know I did…”
“I know…But…I dunno, I wouldn’t want you to ever think I was taking advantage”.
You swallowed, absorbing everything he’d just told you. Yeah…that was reasonable. He was your boss after all and there was always going to be a weird power dynamic there, but you still had more questions than answers.
“Bucky…” you started quietly. “If you wanted the kiss…Why did you disappear? I didn’t hear from you…and then tonight…”
He interrupted you with a noise of frustration, but seemingly towards himself rather than you.
“Alright…look. This…well, there’s no way of spinning any of this that makes me look good here, alright? But I want to be honest with you…I’m not going to lie to you”.
You nodded, grateful for his candour but uneasy about what he might say. You stiffened but still turned to him and gave him your full attention.
“Okay…so. Like I said, I wanted the kiss. And I’m glad it happened. And I was gonna text…call…and I almost did so many times, I had your contact open on my phone and everything…but I guess…I panicked a little”.
“Panicked?”
“Yeah…I mean,” he sighed. “Because I really like you. And I’m not used to that. And on top of that, I’m your boss. And…you’re leaving town soon anyway. And…our relationship is sorta, volatile? I guess? I admit this is fucked up and chicken shit of me, but I kinda freaked out. I suppose I worried that if I jumped headfirst into something with you, it might be a mess. Or worse, I might fall hard, and it would be that much harder to see you go when the time came. I know you might think this is me taking the easy way out to give you the brush off…but it’s the truth”.
You sat in silence at his admission, eyes wide and lips parted. You were surprised at how open he was. The two of you had never really done ‘direct communication’ before…and it was eye opening to say the least. You knew deep down you agreed, you already knew that finally saying goodbye to him would be tough…you didn’t want to make it any tougher.
“I still shouldn’t have left you hanging like that. I’m sorry,” he told you with sincerity. “I’m not…good at this stuff”.
“And what about you and Amber? I mean the two of you…”
He sighed heavily, shaking his head. “Look…there is no me and Amber…”
“But-” you interrupted harshly. “I’ve seen you..”
“No. Seriously, it’s the truth,” he explained as he ran a hand through his hair. “Amber is cute. She’s fun. Again, I won’t lie to you – we’ve fooled around in the past. But I’m not interested in pursuing anything with her. She knows that, I’ve never lied to her about that. But she tries. And I do care for her. But it’s just messing around. We flirt and it’s fun, and I know it might look I lead her on, but I consistently remind her where I stand. I guess maybe she’s hoping I’ll change my mind? I don’t want to outright ban her from the bar…but she turns up…and some of the guys are involved with her friends…and I guess I’m too clumsy to give the situation the care it deserves because I don’t want to give her false hope, but I don’t want to be outright mean to her either. I know you probably think I’m just some meathead biker juggling girls, but I don’t like hurting people who don’t deserve it”.
You noted the concern in his voice. He really did seem to care about handling it right, even if he wasn’t very good at it. But you remembered the extent of tonight and rolled your eyes.
“C’mon Bucky…that’s all very well and good…but she was sitting in your damn lap this evening. So you’re not exactly taking a hard line with her….” You scowled.
“Yeah…and did you see the part where I rolled my eyes and moved her away?”
“Oh, come on…”
“It’s true! I told her to back off, but you’d disappeared…”
“Don’t insult me…”
“I’m not, it’s the truth!” He frowned. “Okay, fine, maybe I need to be stricter with her. We’ve just been doing this back and forth for so long I sometimes forget how it must look…”
“Poor little you…”
“Oh, don’t give me that. What about you, huh? Flirting and giving out your number in front of me?”
“That’s different! You were ignoring me…I thought you’d knocked me back!”
“I saw that message was from Wanda but you made out it wasn’t…I know what you were doing. You were enjoying me being jealous…And yes, obviously I was jealous, so don’t think make a whole thing of it”.
You stopped suddenly, your cheeks feeling hot as he’d caught you out in your game. “Oops. Um…okay. Fine…”
You both sat quietly until he spoke again.
“I guess both of us have played a part in this, not being upfront with the other about how we feel”.
“Yeah…” you sighed. “That’s true enough…I’m still mad, though”.
“That’s okay. I deserve it”.
He nudged you playfully and you couldn’t help but crack a smile. Damn him.
“Look…given how much drama there’s been already between us…Maybe we should just call it, put a stop to this thing and stay just friends and colleagues. Have quieter lives as a result,” you offered, unable to mask the melancholy in your voice.
He nodded. “Yeah…that probably is for the best”.
You felt sad…but you knew it was the right move. All this drama and angst and you’d only shared a few kisses. Imagine how much worse it would get? What if you’d slept together?? And he was right earlier, this whole thing did have an expiration date. You didn’t want to have to quit your job even if it was temporary. You didn’t want to leave on bad terms because you were banging your boss, or because you were insecure about who else he was banging. It all came back to the same bottom line…you didn’t need this in your life. Not now. Not with Granny’s house.
This was for the best. This was a mature decision. This was growth.
Wait.
Wait.
Why is he looking at you like that…?
What is he….oh.
Uh oh.
“Bucky…” you pleaded softly, but his mouth was already on yours.
“Just friends,” he mumbled into your mouth.
“Just friends,” you whispered against his.
Shit.
147 notes · View notes
pitchsidestories · 10 months
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10 Things I Hate About You (3) II Alexia Putellas x Reader
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Part 1 I Part 2 I Masterlist I Word count: 2070
The next day, you found yourself on the training pitch an hour before the actual training was supposed to start. Impatiently, you stared at the clock. Alexia should have been here ten minutes ago but there was no sign of her anywhere. Even your coach looked concerned, and you started to wonder if Alexia was the kind of person who would leave you hanging for your joint extra training. You were deep in thoughts when something scratching your leg made you look down.
A small fluffy dog was excitedly jumping up at your leg, hoping to get some pets from you. With a gasp you squatted down, stroking the golden fur of the dog; “Hi, little one.“ “Nala? Where are you?“, a voice called from farther away. In your mind, you made the connection that the dog must be called Nala but just as you were about to answer, the small dog started licking your face.
You giggled; “Excuse me?“ “Nala, no!“, the voice was now right beside you and someone tugged Nala away from you. You looked up to catch sight of Alexia in her training clothes with a look of slight stress on her face. “Oh, she’s yours?“, you asked curiously. Your teammate nodded plainly; “Yes, she’s my dog.“
Slowly, you stood up again, meeting Alexias eyes; “You’re shoelaces are open.“ To your surprise, she didn’t even look down, instead she only let out an annoyed breath; “I’m aware. I was just about to tie them when Nala ran off.“
“You should bring her more often. I’m sure the girls would love it.“, you suggested casually as you watched Alexia put the leash back on Nala and tied it to the fence. “She’s only here because my dogsitter cancelled on me today.“, Alexia explained, turning back to you. You could hear in her voice that she hated everything about this situation. Her dog, in contrast, was panting happily. “I see.“ You looked at your coach, changing the topic; “What are we supposed to do?“
“Guess what. Training.“, Alexia answered instead of your coach. It took you a lot of will power not to roll your eyes at her; “I know, genius. Still, we need to know what exercises we’re doing.“ “How about you warm up first, genius?“, Alexia hissed back at you. “I already did that while you were running late.“, you replied. Alexias eyes narrowed; “Calm down. I just told you that my dogsitter canceled. I would have been on time if it wasn’t for that little diva.“
You both looked over at Nala who had finally laid down and watched the field attentively. “You two seem to have that in common.“, you snorted. “Oh shut up.“ Your bickering was broken up by the coach who ordered; “Time for you to warm up, Alexia.“ “Sure.“, she answered, giving you one last glance and then reluctantly started to run.
When the midfielder returned from her warming up session you let out a relived sigh:” Finally.” Your attention moved from her to the man who was coaching you both:” So what’s next?” “I told you, you need to work better together, so you’re taking turns setting the other up to score goals.”, he replied in a serious tone. Slowly Alexia nodded in agreement:” With those injuries..” “We need more goal scorer.”, you ended the sentence for her.
For a moment the brunette seemed to be surprised that you were able to read her thoughts before her face turned emotionless again, fully concentrated on the task ahead of her.
With a sigh your coach looked at both of you, almost pleading:” Just do it, girls.” “Alright. You’ll try to score first, Alexia.”, you decided as you picked up the football from his hands to place it in front of you.
Nonchalantly she shrugged her shoulders: “Fine, pass me the ball then.” “Okay.” You did as the midfielder advised you but still somehow the passes did not reach her. Frustrated Alexia shouted at you:” Can you get the timing right just one time?!” “You’re way too impatient.”, you shot back equally mad. Trying to not let her emotions overtake her in front of the coach the brunette suggested: “Let’s switch positions. I’ll show you how it’s done.”
“Fine, if you think that’s better.”, you answered. Determination on her face, Alexia fixed her ponytail before telling you:” Yes, watch.” Much to both of your surprise you slowly started scoring more goals through the midfielder’s assist. The both of you were completely immersed in your game, so you did not notice your fellow teammates slowly arriving behind your back.  
Excited Leila let out a loud shriek: “That’s unbelievable. Mapi look!” “What’s going on here?”, the other defender looked baffled at what was unfolding in front of them.  Amazed the older player mumbled: “This is midfield magic.”  
“Told you, that’s how it’s done.”, Alexia smiled satisfied at you. Equally happy about the result the coach announced: “Now we can move on to the regular training.” “Oh my god, Mapi! Were you all seeing our little session?”, you exclaimed as you realized in the moment that your teammates already have arrived. A wide grin appeared on Mapi’s face:” Obviously, we have training here now too.” “Just great.”, you sighed.
During training Alexia was doing an exercise with the defender who was a friend to both of you:” Mapi, she’s too proud to admit that I know how it’s done properly.” “Is she?”, the defender’s eyebrow went up in amusement. Annoyed the midfielder was rolling her eyes:“Yes.” “I saw something else.”, the younger player winked at her. Interested Alexia glanced at her:“What did you saw?”
Mapi raised one eyebrow with a smirk; “I think you could be a deathly duo on the pitch if you keep working on it.“ “Yes! With you two, we could win the league. Would be nice if the winners name was not Atletico again.“, Leila added, her eyes bright with excitement. Mapi nodded; “I agree. Our time is about to come!“ Alexia grimaced unhappily, while you gave your teammates a wink; “With this team, everything is possible.“
When training was finished, you let yourself fall down onto the grass and took your cleats off. For a few moments, you let your breathing slow down and enjoyed the warm sun on your skin. Just as you were about to get up, Nala came running to you and jumped onto your lap, where it curled into a fluffy little ball. “Nala!“, Alexias voice was oozing with annoyance as she had to come get a dog a second time.
Mapi passed you with her water bottle in hand, grinning; “Seems like she found her favourite in the team.“ Alexia shook her head: “Absolutely not. I don’t know why she likes her so much.“ “Didn’t you say that Nala is a good judge of human character?“, Mapi asked innocently.
“Even she is wrong sometimes.“, Alexia replied. Mapi was lowering a voice, whispering to Alexia; “You don’t really believe that, do you? The connection you two could have on the pitch is undeniable.“ “There’s no connection.“, she answered cooly.
Even though, the two tried to be quiet, you could hear every word of their exchange and frankly, you weren’t surprised by Alexias statement. Carefully, you pushed the small dog off your lap; “Time for you to go back to Alexia, Nala.“ You stood up, giving your two teammates a weak smile; “Bye, girls. See you tomorrow for the home game.“ “Bye.“
The home game on the following day went better than expected and you had to hand it to your coach, the extra training seemed to have worked. The flow in the midfield was much better than in the previous games. In the 80th minute,
Alexia even scored after your assist, just like you have been practicing it. Without thinking, you ran to her, laughing; “See? You’re not the only one who can assist goals!“ Alexia embraced you in a tight hug and when you turned your head, you can feel her lips brushing against the corner of your mouth.
Alexia frowned; “Fine, you finally got it. But you need to work on your celebration.“ “Do you kiss everyone on the lips as part of your goal celebration?“, you asked, still laughing but you weren’t sure if it was just the adrenaline or the oddness of this situation.
“I was going to kiss you on the cheek but you turned your face.“, Alexia rolled her eyes. You pulled away from her, serious again; “No time for that, we got to keep going.“ “Sure.“, Alexia mumbled and followed you into your half of the field.
In the last of the minute of the game you scored, Mapi jumped on your back, her face beaming bright:” What a goal!” “Nah.”, you tried to play it down even though you did feel proud on the inside.
Cheekily Alexia commented: “I agree with her. Mine was better.”  “No, it was not!”, you disagreed loudly, even though her comment did not erase your smile it deepened even more because of that. Having different opinions made you two thrive now instead of blocking your football creativity. Widely grinning the midfielder replied: “Yes it was.”
Playfully annoyed you asked the dark-haired defender:” Leila, what do you think? Whose goal was better?” “As long as we win, I don’t care how pretty the goals are.”, Leila answered honestly. Amused you told her:“Very diplomatic.”  “I won’t get between you two.”, she stated with a knowing smiling.
Meanwhile Alexia begun with her captain voice to draw the attention of the teammates to her: “So team..” “Yes?”, Mapi looked expectantly at her. Equally impatient Leila interjected: “What’s up?”  “Yeah, what were you about to say, captain?”, you gave her a challenging glance. “It’s time to celebrate.” “Oh yes.”, the brunette defender cheered. “I’m in.”, Mapi nodded. A crooked smile appeared on your lips: “Me too.”
As it was a prestigious win for the team you and your teammates went wild at the club celebrating that victory. Worried Alexia observed you dancing on a table, men enjoying your drunk performance:” Is it just me or can’t she handle the alcohol?”  “Who?”, Aitana sounded confused.  Her captain had enough and moved towards you: “Whatever. Hey, come down there!”  
“Oh hi, why don’t you come up?”, you giggled. Sternly the brunette hissed: “Because I still have some self-respect.”  “You’re always so serious.”, you grumbled.  For a second Alexia’s vulnerability shine through before her serious mask was on again: “I have to be.” “But what about the fun?”, you wanted to know laughing. She bit her lip: “I have fun on the pitch.” “Yes, and you had fun kissing. Oops.”, you almost tipped over.
Luckily the brunette was there to catch you: “And you can’t handle your alcohol.” “Oh please.”, you rolled your eyes.  Earnestly the Barcelona captain shook her head:“ You’re ridiculous.”  “Why don’t you annoy someone else. Let me down.”, you commanded her. Much to your surprise Alexia seemed really upset:” Because no one seems to care about how drunk you are.”  “Alexia, stop-“, you begged her. “Stop what?” “I’m fine.”, you said. “You’re obviously not.”, she scoffed.
In the morning you needed a moment to realize where you were, but Narla greeted you with her wet kisses which gave you the needed clue: „Where am I?  Narla? Hello little one.” “Seriously? You blacked out?”, Alexia was standing in the frame, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Slowly you shook your head:” No, I remember you got me to this bed.” “I did. Because you were drunk.”, the captain nodded.
Quickly you pushed the blanket away, careful not to disturb the dog:“Thanks, I should go.” “You don’t want any breakfast? I’m sure you’ll need it.”, she offered. For a moment you stopped moving:” You’ve breakfast?” “Yes, why are you so surprised?”, Alexia let out a nervous laugh.
“Because you’re so nice and I thought you hated me.”  “Who said I don’t?”, she intervened. “Your gestures, what you did last night and this morning.”, you started to explain. The captain shrugged her shoulders:” I’m just trying to help a teammate.” “Appreciate it.”, you whispered. “Because maybe I still need this teammate to score.” More serious you agreed:” Right, we’ve more to win still.”
“Maybe our coach was onto something.”, the midfielder admitted.  Before passing her you padded her shoulder for a second:“We’ll see that in the next game.”
371 notes · View notes
burntheedges · 19 days
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Summer Stuff-My-Inbox Fic Rec List (Part 2)
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I can't believe it's already September? What the hell, honestly. Thank you all for sending me your fics again!
Remember to check out Part 1, too.
The list has 57 more Pedro-character fics posted since June 1, organized by character and then alphabetically by author. Mind all tags and warnings! I've noted word count (we've got a range!), whether it's part of a series, and pairings. Let's get reading and reblogging!
Characters in this rec list: Dave York, Dieter Bravo, Din Djarin, Ezra (Prospect), Frankie Morales, Javier Gutierrez, Javier Peña, Joel Miller, Marcus Acacius, Marcus Moreno, Marcus Pike, Pero Tovar, Tim Rockford
...
Dave York
melt by @sizzlingcloudmentality | 960 words | Dave x f!reader summary: wine drunk and with fresh croissants from the bakery you're having French breakfast and sex with Dave. | Daphne mentioned being proud of this one particulary because of the smut!! 😏
Dieter Bravo
Eros & Psyche by @schnarfer | ~16k, complete | Dieter x f!reader summary: Dieter is a modern day Greek God Eros. We’re going full existential dread rom-com, actually. | I can't wait to read this!
Golden Girl by @whocaresstillthelouvre | 2.9k | Dieter x f!reader summary: What happens when you discover your husband has been cheating on you? You call his best friend to help comfort you.
Starlet by whocaresstillthelouvre | 3.7k | Dieter x f!reader summary: Your husband has a big movie premiere, sure he looks great, but his co-star looks even better.
Din Djarin
Fifteen Weeks by whocaresstillthelouvre | 5k | Din x f!reader summary: It's been fifteen weeks since Din Djarin first entered your life, now you can't imagine it without him. You take a leap of faith in your relationship and visit him at his farm. | this is part 2! Don't miss part 1!
Oath Broken and Soul Bound by @whxtedreams | 1.8k, wip | Din x OFC Witch hunter!Din x OFC!Witch, from Flora: It's a Witch AU, fantasy and forbidden love. It's very new, only one chapter out but I have very big plans. I have pretty much the entire fic mapped out. It also has Ezra, Frankie and Joel as characters. You can learn more about their characters here in the character study i did for them. This is my passion project, I have so much love for them and I can’t wait to share my story in more detail!
Tales from the Dark Garden by @hapan-in-exile | 9k | Din x f!reader summary: The reader is a courtesan at the Dark Garden, Coruscant’s most prestigious pleasure house, where you encounter the Mandalorian.
Touchstone by @sawymredfox | 2.6k | Din x f!reader summary: Things are not always what they seem. They have a meaning. They have a reason behind them, private and cherished.
Ezra (Prospect)
There are Other Fish in the Sea by @beefrobeefcal | 4 parts | Frankie x f!reader, Ezra x f!reader summary: an alternate ending (and continuation) of another of Beefro's fics, where Frankie messes up and Ezra comes along.
Joel x Ezra
who knows where the time goes by @sixhours | 11k | Joel x Ezra (Prospect) summary: It's New Year's 2027 and the dads are going through it. An i know you by heart one-shot.
Frankie Morales
Like the Rain by @jennaispunk | 2.9k | Frankie x f!reader summary: Frankie has something to say….will you listen? | Jenna said this one is her first Frankie fic!! and a challenge because it has more spice, which is fun!
There are Other Fish in the Sea by @beefrobeefcal | 4 parts | Frankie x f!reader, Ezra x f!reader summary: an alternate ending (and continuation) of another of Beefro's fics, where Frankie messes up and Ezra comes along.
Tide by whocaresstillthelouvre | 1.2k | Frankie x f!reader summary: Frankie Morales is capable of almost anything… except not cumming in his jeans when he thinks about you, the pretty clerk at the grocery store he always buys his giant jugs of laundry detergent at.
Javier Gutierrez
KEPT by @beefrobeefcal | 5.3k | Javi x f!reader summary: You might just have bitten off more than you can chew by possibly becoming Javi G's sugar baby.
Rhapsody in Blue by @maggiemayhemnj | 5.5k | Javi x f!reader summary: Javi G takes you to the Oscars. Takes you to the Vanity Fair party. Takes you back to the Chateau Marmont. Then just takes you. | Maggie said this one took her out of her comfort zone, and she ahd fun delving into more spice!
Javier Peña
An End to Drought by @almostfoxglove | 5.4k | Javi x f!reader summary: The future of your family's homestead hangs in the balance as Javier Peña comes home in the middle of a drought.
Dispose of Me by whocaresstillthelouvre | 1.8k | Javi x f!reader summary: Javier Peña needs you… and you're moving away in two weeks.
Dusk by @the-orange-tabby-cat | 8.7k | Javi x f!reader summary: Javier sees you again years after the end of your love affair. Torn between the memories of what happened then and what is now, you both face the weight of your actions from Bogotá to Madrid.
Hold my hand by @milla-frenchy | 4.1k | Javi x f!reader summary: a stranger saves your life. Or your and Javi’s love story.
I'll Carry You by almostfoxglove | 2 of 3 parts, 13.6k | Javi x f!reader summary: You reunite with your childhood best friend when he arrives home from Colombia. Javier's sudden return to your life exhumes buried heartbreak, but he longs to set things right.
Scathed by @dancingtotuyo | 41k, wip | Javi x OFC summary: Javier and Emily experienced the drug war on different fronts in very different ways. Maybe, they’re what the other needs to heal.
Joel Miller
Joel & Ellie, no pairing
happy birthday, baby girl by sixhours | wip | Joel and Ellie summary: Ellie has never had a birthday. Joel can fix that.
Joel x Ezra
who knows where the time goes by sixhours | 11k | Joel x Ezra (Prospect) summary: It's New Year's 2027 and the dads are going through it. An i know you by heart one-shot.
x reader or x OFC
A summer with the Millers by @milla-frenchy | 4.2k, wip | Joel x f!reader x Tommy summary: you come back to your father's house for summer vacation and want to get closer to your crush and dad's best friend, Tommy Miller. His brother Joel is gonna help you to reach your goal.
Always in my Heart by @mermaidgirl30 | 1.2k | Joel x f!reader
summary: Losing a pet is never easy, but you’re not alone because Joel is right there with you, keeping you afloat.
BDSMaid by @mountainsandmayhem | wip | Joel x f!reader summary: After recently graduating from university, your best friend offers you a job cleaning luxury homes for clients you’ll never know. It’s only temporary and a good way to save money for when you go back to get your law degree. That’s what you’re promised at least. Easy. Simple. Mundane. That is, until one of your clients is home and everything that you felt was missing in your life starts to fall into place. This goes against the NDA you signed and you could get fired. Or worse, you could fall in love.
Cover Me Up by almostfoxglove | 97.7k, finished | Joel x f!reader summary: After you spare the lives of two kids who break into your isolated cabin in the woods, they lead you back to their settlement. You intend to get in, trade for valuable supplies, and get out, but end up staying. Four years later, you're a solitary but respected pillar of Jackson's close-knit community when Joel Miller shows up, kid in tow. You think nothing of him or the kid. You like your quiet life. Too bad it won't stay quiet for long. Or: Joel and Ellie make you human again. | Freya's first series!
Dark Shades of Innocence Lost by mermaidgirl30 | finished | Joel x f!reader summary: After your friends drag you out to Club Inferno on a Friday night, you meet an unexpected man with dark brown eyes. That man is Joel Miller, who turns out to be the owner of the club. The menace that will turn your life upside down. After not dating for a couple of years, Joel finds out and strikes up a proposition for you. Keep coming back and he’ll make sure you experience pleasure like you’ve never felt before.
Fragile State by @galway-girlatwork | 2.5k | Joel x OFC Tara summary: The aftermath of a traumatic car accident leaves a family struggling with fear and uncertainty. The emotional toll weighing them all down as they try to find some normalcy which they all know is impossible until he wakes up. Vulnerability and desperate needs for the man who is the center of their lives to remember who they are and the life he had with them. | the author mentioned this way of writing a story was new, which is very fun!
Halcyon by @justagalwhowrites | ch 16, 110k so far | Joel x f!reader summary: When your life falls apart, you find yourself back in your hometown of Austin, Texas for the first time in more than a decade. Eager to make your own way after a rough divorce, you reconnect with your high school best friend Joel Miller - a man you never thought would be in your life again. Things have changed since your falling out just before you left for college but friendship with Joel comes easy. His life isn't in any better shape than your own and the two of you make a vow to get your acts together - personal, professional and romantic - in the span of a year. But will your burgeoning connection make it so you can figure everything out or will your history together get in the way?
Her by milla-frenchy | 3.2k | Joel x f!reader summary: after Joel confides one of his fantasies to you one day, you make it come true. | her first kinda sub!Joel with Joel realizing a fantasy. 😏
In Need of a Top Up by @tateypots | 1.5k | Joel x f!reader summary: Joel likes calling you his wife and you like hearing it.
In pain and heartache. In comfort and love. by whxtedreams | 2.5k | Joel x f!reader summary: They were so desperate to hold each other after tasting life without one another.
It Tastes of Magic by sawymredfox | 12k | Joel x f!reader summary: Your grandmother always told you the same thing. Have always salt in handy to spill over your left shoulder. Knock on wood to keep away the bad luck. Don't forget that mint likes to have her space to grow. Actions always speak louder than words. And love as much as you can, because even when it hurts, it makes you stronger. Will she still be right?
Lock the Gate by almostfoxglove | 23k+, wip | Joel x f!reader summary: You're less than enthusiastic when your uncle's partner Frank invites two strangers from the Boston QZ to your compound to trade. Joel Miller proves just as callous as you and brutishly stubborn—but after a cutting first impression, a bloody inconvenience, and a long walk through infested woods, you're not sure if the fire you carry for him is actually hate.
Push it by milla-frenchy | 3.4k | Joel x f!reader summary: you have a secret “relationship” with Joel, your dad's best friend. You know you can't have more, but you can’t resist the idea to provoke him a little.
See How She Rides by @arcanefox207 | 4.4k | Joel x f!reader summary: BoatMechanic!Joel Miller is just doing his job when you show up unannounced to soak up some summer sun. | Ally said she had a lot of fun writing this one and I think we're going to have a lot of fun reading it!!
spin me around by @ace-turned-confused | 2.4k | Joel x f!reader summary: you find a vintage record store full of rare finds, the man behind the counter the rarest of them all. | for the Secret Springs challenge!
Stranger in a Bar by justagalwhowrites | 17.3k | part 2, finished | Joel x f!reader summary: You meet a stranger in a bar, one who is fun and sexy and makes you wonder if the single life is all it's cracked up to be. But there's one big problem: you probably shouldn't be fucking your dad's best friend.
Teach Me How to Play Coach Miller by whocaresstillthelouvre | 3.2k | Joel x f!reader summary: You're home alone, relishing a lazy day when your hot neighbor knocks on your door. Seems his TV is out and he really wants to watch the Rangers game. You know nothing about baseball… maybe he can teach you a thing or two?
Tear You Apart by mermaidgirl30 | wip | Joel x f!reader summary: Joel comes for you late at night. He always does. Always stalks, chases, and prowls after you like a starving wolf. And when he catches you, he devours you, feeds on you like the animal he is. Will you run and hide or will you give into the temptation that calls you into the forest?
Tenacity by whocaresstillthelouvre | 2.3k | Joel x f!reader summary: Joel Miller will never allow himself to take what he wants and you know that. How can a broken shower make him realize it's too late and he's already fallen for you? (Or Joel fucks you on his beat up couch in the QZ.)
The Fallen Warrior by @bluestar22x | 6.7k, wip | Joel x f!reader summary: Joel Miller, once the great archangel named Jaoel, fell from grace many centuries ago. After his brethren take everything from him, he immerses himself in human culture. Careful not to get too close to anyone new, everything changes when Joel finds a nephal (nephilim plural) living on the streets in Austin - the first since his fall. A trusted co-worker (reader) ends up adopting her. But just as the street kid, Ellie Williams, is settling into her new home Heaven’s angels come to town searching for her. They have a plan to use her blood in their battle against Hell, then dispose of her after. Joel can’t allow that. He won’t.
The green flannel shirt by milla-frenchy | 817 words | Joel x f!reader summary: Joel comes back home from work and finds you asleep wearing his shirt.
The Savage and the Sanctuary by justagalwhowrites | 8.3k, wip | Joel x f!reader summary: After the death of his daughter, Joel Miller fell apart. But when searching for answers at the bottom of a bottle and within his own rage doesn't fix it, he resigns himself to working for his brother in private security. It's a job that starts him down the path to stability and a semblance of a life, even if it's not one he particularly wants. At least it does until you show up. The biggest movie star in the world with your newly adopted niece in tow, you throw everything about Joel's life into flux. Is he capable of letting himself feel something again while protecting the only things left in the world that matter?
untitled by @idioticcatss | ~1.5k | Joel x reader sophie mentioned being proud of getting out of a writing slump with this fluffy, smutty fic! some tags: love marks, age gap, pet names, smut
Wings of the Dawn by the-orange-tabby-cat | 49k, wip | Joel x f!reader summary: You are Jackson’s librarian, a doll with good heart, that has your life changed when a handsome man and his kid decides to start again in your small town. Having a hard time ignoring Joel’s dark brown eyes, you found yourself wishing to have him closer as you both navigate through love triangles, teenage drama, city gossip and ghosts from both your pasts.
Woman by dancingtotuyo | 74.6k, finished! | Joel x f!reader summary: Joel Miller returns to Jackson bringing back memories and feelings from 20 years ago, but you refuse fall into the universe’s trap again. Your table is at capacity. Adding another chair will only kill you when they get taken away. | also Em just starting posting a no-outbreak AU of this fic!!
Yearling by justagalwhowrites | 306k, finished! | Joel x f!reader summary: After years of surviving in the wilds of Wyoming after the cordyceps outbreak, you find yourself in Jackson. It's a town filled with friendly faces and the kind of world you hardly remember, let alone can connect with or understand. But one man - Joel Miller, another loner, like you - makes you think that trying to find your place in society again might be worth it.
Yearling No-Outbreak AU by justagalwhowrites | 4.1k, wip | Joel x f!reader summary: When Ellie sees you riding at a rodeo, she knows you have to teach her. A no-outbreak AU of Yearling, where you and Joel find each other in every timeline. Can be read independently as a no-outbreak AU fic.
Marcus Acacius
Legionary by whocaresstillthelouvre | 3.4k | Marcus x Lucius x f!reader summary: Marcus returns to his hometown while traveling with his young soldier who's eager to learn from him. Good thing he knows your domus is always open to him.
mould me for ruin by ace-turned-confused | 4.6k | Marcus x f!reader summary: after years of watching general acacius, you long to wield a sword of your own — an opportunity arises for your dreams to come true, in more ways than one.
proud to be yours by ace-turned-confused | 2.7k | Marcus x f!reader summary: it's the first time you've seen acacius since he took your virginity, and he has plans for a different kind of training.
Marcus Moreno
(Some) Bodies by galway-girlatwork | 3.1k | Marcus x OFC Priestly summary: In the shadows of the ancient city, a dark romance blossoms between a healer and a sinner. It is a connection of light and dark, life and death. Can he accept her past? Can she believe there is redemption for what she’s done? Can carefully guarded secrets stay that way?
Marcus Pike
Code name: Hephaestus by @604to647 | 3.2k | Marcus x f!reader summary: Marcus requests a change to his FBI Agent code name. | Emily wrote this for Kel's Pedro Pantheon challenge and really challenged herself!! I'm excited to read. 🧡
next year by me! | 18.3k | Marcus x gn!reader summary: You expected your vacation to go like it always did -- a week of reading, relaxing, and so much alone time you'd be almost happy to see your coworkers when you got back. You'd spend time on the beach and walk around town and generally do whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted, just like you did every year. But when you locked eyes from across the sand with the handsome man renting the house next door, something told you this year would be different.
Pero Tovar
Maple by @sawymredfox | 2k | Pero x f!reader summary: A fox, a rifle, and two strangers in a forest. What could go wrong?
Tim Rockford
The detective by @milla-frenchy | 2.6k | Tim x f!reader summary: being a suspect in a theft case, you get interrogated by a handsome and dominant personal investigator.
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happy reading and reblogging! 🧡
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felixbun · 2 months
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MOCHA’S FELIX FIC RECS
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a= angst, s= smut, f= fluff, sug= suggestive, ୨୧ = mocha’s fave, ᡣ𐭩= read at own risk
mocha note: I will continuously add more, this post will always be getting updates lol
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rosy by @rosylix
you don't know how to give a hickey.. what are friends for if not to help each other with these things? (a, f, sug)
i don’t want you like a best friend by @jiniretracha
you have been in love with Felix, your best friend, since the first time you laid your eyes on him. But you never said anything about it, too afraid to ruin your friendship that you treasured so much. So, when a pretty boy asks you out on a date, you accept, figuring it is the best way to get over your stupid crush. But your best friend doesn't seem so happy about it. Based on "Dress" by Taylor Swift. (a, f, s)
getting over him by @luvyeni ୨୧
felix helping you get over your cheating ex (a, f, s)
bound by fate by @dreamescapeswriting
he hates her but finds her after she stumbles into the fae lands and tries to save her from the evil queen thats there, that has them all under a sort of spell that dims their powers??? but reader is the choosen one that kisses Felix (who doesnt know he's the secret king that owns the lands) after the kiss everything is restored (a, f)
untitled by @number1jeonginstan ୨୧, ᡣ𐭩
could you write a dom felix stalker smut...u know like romantic stalker who is obsessed (a, f, s)
shy felix texts by @lixies-favorite-cookie
teasing a shy felix until he accidentally confesses (f)
eat your words by @bookobsessedfreak
in a spiral of whiskey-induced stupidity, you claim felix couldn't dominate you even if he tried—oh, how he's going to make you eat your words. (s)
the siren on the stage by @bunnliix
you're out with your best friend for her bachelorette party, and one of the workers catches your eye
felix make up texts by @dazed--xx ୨୧
part two to “felix break up texts” (a, f)
felix one shots by @minniesmutt ୨୧, ᡣ𐭩
i could even pick one fic, karma is such a good writer, so i tagged their ENTIRE felix masterlist
felix calling you clingy by @seungfl0wer
happy ending (a, f)
laughter like honey dribbles by @lixies-favorite-cookie ୨୧
an inexperienced Felix tries to impress you by forcing his voice deeper. What do you do when it cracks mid-through? (f, s)
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oreo-creampie · 1 year
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𝐓𝐨𝐣𝐢, 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮, 𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐮/ 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: somonphilia, oral, fingering, nipple play, sleepy!reader, praise & degradation, panty sniffing and stealing, pervert!toji, pervert!satoru, pervert!Suguru, vibrator
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"I'm bored n' horny." Toji abruptly stands up and pulls his shirt off. Tossing it onto the living room floor.
Satoru glances up from his switch. "Why jerk off when she's gonna be awake in a couple hours? She's just tired from work, and complained it was kicking her ass earlier." Satoru's cock aches at the thought of being between your legs. Imagines your plush soaking wet cunt dripping his cum clouding his mind.
Toji snorts, "Why wait when I can stick my dick in our princess's mouth right now? Then I'll fuck her back to sleep." Toji's cock had been persistently hard, his large balls aching.
Pre-cum smearing inside his sweatpants. Adding to the how uncomfortable they are. Pushing his sweatpants down kicking them next to his shirt.
Suguru pauses his game, standing up. "I'm eating her pussy out, once she cums then I'll let one of you have a turn." He sets his controller down. Pulling his hair back into a ponytail, his cock straining against his gym shorts. Which were comfortable moments ago.
Satoru states, "I'm next. Dying for another taste sweetheart tastes so goood." Drawing out the last word with a groan. Lost in the thought of your sleepy moans and gorgeous body trembling.
Suguru follows Toji towards your bedroom with Satoru in tow. Satoru fantasizes. "Hope she's just as reactive asleep as she is awake." He fondles his cock through his sweatpants. "Love it when she's loud and her pussy is messy."
Toji informs Suguru and Satoru, "She is, fuck she's whinier when she's sleepy. Gonna wake up fast n' be a demanding beautiful brat." Easing your door open. Your dimly lit wax warmer casts a golden glow onto the bed and around your room.
Toji continues "We can hold her down fuck her and stuff her mouth if she gets mouthy." They could make out you're on your back, sprawled out. The perfect position for them to use your sleeping body to get off.
Suguru adds, "Afterwards we can stuff her belly with some food, and tuck her back into bed." He eases the blanket off your naked body. Dropping it onto the floor.
Satoru chimes in, "I'll cuddle her while I'm playing Stardew valley." Satoru picks up the vibrator you left out. Turning it on, climbing onto your bed. "Sweetheart busted a nut and fell asleep." Satoru swirls the toy on your clit. You moan, parting your lips enough for Toji to slip his thumb past.
Toji suggests, "Maybe we aren't enough for her, we should step it up n' break her beautiful cunt." He kneels on the bed, guiding his cock to your warm mouth. Groaning when he glides his cock past your lips.
Suguru snags the underwear crumbled up by your body. "Her panties are so messy." He smells them groaning, "Smells so fucking good." Toji grabs your jaw, holding your head still, spit smearing from his fingers onto you.
"Even in her sleep, she's a good fuckin' slut." Satoru dips his head, sucking on your nipple. Flicking it with his tongue. Adding more pressure to your clit, swirling it faster. You tremble, moaning around Toji's cock as he fucks part of his cock into your mouth.
Toji holds out his hand. "Don't hog her panties, you've stolen ten of them. Let me get that one." Suguru passes them.
“You’re both perverted thieves.”
“You won't stop buying them for her, she too many. And Sug n I will give them back clean when we get bored of them." Toji holds it up to his nose takingna long deep breaths, then licking it. Sticking part of your panties into his mouth and sucking on it.
You open your eyes, relaxing your mouth more. Cupping Toji's balls, massaging them. Spreading your legs for Suguru, grabbing his bun, knocking it loose. He nudges his tongue past your lips, groaning. Your soaking wet cunt clenching from the vibrations.
Satoru pulls away from your sensitive nipple with a soft pop. Grinning at Toji, "Nasty fucker sucking her dirty panties like its candy." Toji loudly groans, then pulls them out to respond.
"Our Mama’s soaking wet cunt is candy. She has been givin' me a sweet tooth. Can’t help myself." Suguru kisses your lips, moaning, gliding his tongue past, making out, and tongue fucking your tight cunt.
Oreo cream-pie m.list
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pinkthrone445 · 6 months
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-Abbott's house- Part 3
Part 1. Part 2
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Pairing:Melissa Schemmenti x Reader
Gender:Fluff, funny, soft, hurt
Warnings:none(?) future smut
Summary:The district gives the school the idea of spending a month living together to strengthen bonds, you never thought that would change your relationship with some so much.
You never thought of yourself as a very loving or neddy person, at least you didn't show it often, but there was something about being snuggled with someone you feel comfortable with that can't be denied. To feel her warmth close to your body, her calm breath that matched yours, to hear the gentle drum of her heart beat, being comfortable in complete silence, doing things separately but at the same time together.
That was the position you were in, Mel was sitting on her mattress with her back resting on the back of her bed, you, sitting in front of her, between her legs, with your back resting on her chest, you were reading a book while she played with your hair and with her free hand played bets on her cell phone.
-"Mel?" - You whispered and she nodded letting you continue, putting her phone aside to listen to you-"Which do you prefer? Prince Charming or the Big Bad Wolf?" - You asked and she began to think, in the time that had passed, she had become very familiar to your unexpected and meaningless questions
-"I think Prince Charming, I've already kissed many toads but none became the perfect man" - she replied without stopping her caresses on your hair and you laughed-"You?"
-"I think I prefer the big bad wolf, there is no perfect man or woman in life or love, the big bad wolf sees you, hears you and eats you better... So..."-You answered and read on as if nothing had happened, smiling as you felt the vibration of the redhead's laughter on you back.
That's how things had been lately, when a certain time came in the afternoon, when you didn't have any activities planned with your other housemates, you and Mel would go into the room and do things separately, but somehow together. Some days you'd spend hours in bed talking about things, anything that came to mind, some days you'd play cards and bets together, sometimes you'd read while she watched her show on your computer or watch it together, or you would read something for her, doing anything you could share, and you really liked that.
You'd be lying if you said that your look at the redhead hadn't changed in recent days, but you didn't know if her affection and her way of being was because she was taking care of you since you had to live together or because she loved you too. But those doubts were very close to be clarified.
When it got later, you decided to leave the room as Ava had ordered food for game night, Mel came out behind you while everyone looked at you
-"What?" - You asked with a frown
-"Isn't that t-shirt you're wearing Melissa's?"-asked Janine and you looked at your clothes and nodded
-"Yes, I stole it because it's soft and comfortable to sleep in, is there a problem?"- you asked and Janine shook her head. The truth is that you had taken it because it smelled like her and that made you happy, but you couldn't say that in front of everyone, let alone having the redhead present.
After grabbing your portion of food, you sat down on the carpet between Mel's feet, while she was on the couch. The redhead carefully placed a blanket over your shoulders and passed you a hot pack for your abdomen, being very discreet, she knew your period had started and the heat helped, so she was on the lookout for you to keep warm things nearby, plus the painkiller she had bought you earlier. You smiled at her in appreciation and gave her a small kiss on her knee that was at the height of your face because of the position you had sat in.
Today it was Gregory's turn to choose a game, so you didn't expect something very funny, but when he was about to speak, Janine and Jacob interrupted him and said something in his ear, which changed Gregory's mind and suggested playing truth or dare, with the excuse of using it to get to know each other better. You'd be lying if you said that didn't surprise you. Everyone sat next to each other to make the game easier, which made you sit between Ava and Melissa.
The game started quietly, no one wanted to say dare, they just chose truth. You learned that Mel took Barbara to a gay bar once and Mel kissed her when they were drunk, also that Barbara (to everyone's surprise) had a kamasutra book, Ava had a sex toy store on the internet, that Janine had had a one-night stand when she was on vacation alone, that Gregory when he was a kid wanted to be a stripper because he thought those were the ones who painted the strips on the side of the street, that Jackson had had dreadlocks in college and that Mr. Johnson had been a bus stripper for a few months when he was younger to pay college. Also they learned that there was a time when you had an open relationship with a girl because she wasn't ready to big commitments and you loved her so you agreed, even though it didn't end well for you and your heart.
When more rounds continued with only truths, they decided to do one of pure challenges, Janine and Gregory had 7 minutes in heaven and somehow came out of that closet with more clothes and more tidy than they came in, Jacob had to eat a spoonful of hot sauce from the fridge and then it was Melissa's turn...
-"Melissa Melissa Melissa...-Jacob spoke with mischief in his eyes-"I dare you to kiss (Y/N)... Don't think we haven't noticed how you walk around together all day" - And there it all fell into place, the sudden change of game, the desire of them for you or Mel to choose a challenge, it was all to make you and Mel kiss and end this thick love tension, not that you didn't want to and weren't grateful for that, but they were still some crazy bastards.
Your heart was leaping out of your chest, desperate to feel Mel's lips on you, but when you looked up and saw her frightened face, your joy immediately fell apart. She didn't even do anything to get closer to you, she just put distance looking into your eyes with a frown
-"I won't... Sorry, I won't, I can't, I don't want to"-Mel said no, not just with her words, but with her look, her body language, her hands, her whole being. You've never felt so rejected and so much pain in your heart, you felt ashamed in that moment, she rejected you in front of all your friends and colleagues
-"Oh wow, three different ways to say no... That was unequally humiliating, I never thought that I was that disgusting" - You tried to joke even though it really hurt, an awkward laugh left your body and you looked away from the redhead-"I think it's Barbara's turn to have her dare"-You commented trying to make the bad time pass and the tears not come out of your eyes, you felt a horrible pressure in your chest and your hands were shaking gently. Melissa noticed this and tried to hold your hand but you pulled it away immediately.
You tried to stay playing as long as you could, but you were feeling worse and worse and more disassociated every passing second, so you carefully got up from the round
-"My cramps are the worst right now, I'll go to bed, have fun guys" - You muttered as you got up, left the blanket Melissa had lent you at her feet, and went into the room. You quickly changed and went to the bathroom to lock yourself in so you could cry a little and get out the pain you felt in your chest from the redhead's rejection, without Melissa entering the room and seeing you so pathetic.
After a little while, Mel decided to go to the room, you were already in your bed, turning your back on her and hiding under your covers without making a single noise or movement. On her bed was the blouse you had stolen from her and had been wearing all day. Mel stared at the garment without being very sure what to feel or do, after a few seconds she put it on and went to bed feeling your perfume close to her but not your warmth which she had already become accustomed to having.
The next day, the redhead hoped that no one would remember what had happened, she wished things were the way they were before, but her hopes were quickly dashed when she opened her eyes and you weren't in the room. Then she got up and you weren't in the dining room or anywhere in the house either, even though they were all having breakfast together, you weren't there
-"Good morning" - The redhead whispered and the others greeted her as well, then sat down next to Barbara to eat thinking about you.
The days began to pass and the distance began to be more noticeable, Mel was going to bed early to see if you were going in the room so she could see you, and you were going to sleep super late to not cross paths with her. In the activities together you asked to change partners, and you always spent as much time as possible outside the house so as not to see her. Looks that used to be sought at every opportunity, were now avoided at all costs. When she used to tell a joke, she would always look at you to see what you thought of it and see your reaction, but now all she could find was seriousness, or she couldn't find you at all. Your behavior was hurting her more than she let it show.
One more day passed, one more day when she woke up and didn't see you
-"Does anyone know if (Y/N) has at least eaten something today?" - She asked, sad and annoyed at how you ignored her
-"We haven't seen her, but you'd know if you asked her" - Ava replied
-"She doesn't respond to my messages and is avoiding me all day... So yeah" - Mel answered and went to Barbara's room to talk to her.
-"Hey Melissa" - Her friend smiled and the red-haired woman sighed, sitting on her bed looking at her sadly
-"I need help... don't know what to do Barb, she is ignoring me all the time and I... I miss her"-Mel whispered
-"Talk to her, simple as that" - Her friend replied
-"She hates me" - Mel rubbed her hands against her face
-"She is in love with you" - Barbara answered truthfully
-"She is not, she is too young to fall for someone like me"-As always, the redhead doubted herself
-"The girl looks at you as if you have the stars in the palm of your hand, as if your eyes were the sun that warms the earth, and you still think she doesn't like you? Are you blind or just dumb?" - Barbara looked at her seriously, when the redhead was about to answer, she felt how the door of the house opened and everyone greeted you, immediately her friend looked at her-"Go talk to her!"-she yelled and then dragged her out of the room.
The redhead sighed, trying to gather strength before entering the room with you. She noticed how you turned your back on her, putting some clothes in your backpack
-"Hey hon..." - She whispered but you didn't look at her - "Will you go with me to the class we have together?" - she whispered and you shook your head
-"I changed it, I'll go with Jacob and you with Janine" - You closed your backpack and put it on walking towards the door, but the redhead stopped you by taking your hand-"Let me go Melissa" - Your voice sounded so dry and your manner so serious compared to what it was before
-"What is your problem lately? " - Mel asked annoyed of you ignoring her
-"You apparently"-You responded by trying to let go of her grip
-"Why? Just because I didn't played that stupid game?" - she replied with a frown without letting go of you-"Why are you ignoring me now? Why are you leaving me out? I miss you, why can't we stay friends?" - Mel's voice sounded fragile, scared of your answer
-"Because I don't want to be your friend! Everyone notice that I wanted to be more than friends that's why they made us play that stupid game! And that night was clear that you didn't like me in the same way and you rejected me in front of all them... And I don't know what to do to be more than this, for you to accept me, I don't know how you don't realize how much I like you. I'm not going to sit back and pretend that your rejection didn't hurt me, I'm not going to pretend that my heart isn't yours because it's been yours from the moment you held my hand... For a long time I thought this love may be reciprocated, but I was just being stupid... Why did you let me fall for you like that if you were never going to reciprocate? Why did you start treating me differently from others, with such affection and care if you knew you would never love me? Why didn't you keep your dry treatment to me like you treated me at school? Why did you have to make me fall in love with you like that? I would have rather never feel what it's like to be in your arms or sleep together, than to know how beautiful it feels and never be able to have it again because it's weird now... "-You sighed with teary eyes, her hand on your arm felt like it burned your skin
-"Oh hon... I didn't knew, I wasn't trying to make you fall for me... Let me fix this, do you want me to buy you chocolates or do something?" - she asked, not knowing what to do, and you let go of her grip
-"I opened my heart to you and that's the only thing you have to offer me?..." - You asked in pain and sighed
-"Love..."-She whispered trying to fix something but not knowing how
-"Don't call me love unless you mean it...Sometimes trying to fix things only makes it worse. I think it hurt me to realize that you never loved me the way I loved you, I suspected it, but it hurt to accept it...If I could bottle this feelings up and go back to being friends, I would. But there is no point in denial, all of them and you know what I feel. I won't ask or beg you to love me, so please don't ask me to pretend to settle for just being your friend, because it's not going to happen..."-You whispered opening the door and walking out of the room, leaving Melissa alone, an emptiness in her chest as she realized she had lost you.
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