#so still theres a part of octopus inside him

[sinekq]

some Garnek doodles

Garnok 10 minutes after invading Jorvik

[alwaysanotherrainbow]

my boyfriend never texts first

Remus just wants to not be the first one to send a message every once in a while. That’s not too much to ask, right?

relationship: romantic remrom, background remy and emile (also romantic)

warnings: major character death, extended mourning (secondary warnings- brief discussion of religious holidays, brief underage drinking mention, a lot of all-caps) notes: unrelated, human, hs/college au. virgil, emile, and remy are here too. If you need anything in the secondary warnings (or one of those latter three characters) edited out, please let me know and I can put that up for you!

____________________________________________________

Remus always texted him first. Always. It didn’t matter the situation, didn’t matter the time date place name face. Who what when where why. It first started when he texted hi roman :) when they first got phones; for whatever reason, Roman just never texted first. Either he’d call or they’d talk in person.

No matter. Remus could cope.

May 1:

8:37 PM tody i saw you by my locker 8:39 PM *today 8:42 PM why didnt you say hi?

May 2:

9:30 PM a teacher talked to me today 9:30 PM wanted to talk about how i’m doing after 9:52 PM well you know. he’s a sick bastard

Really, it wasn’t too much to ask for, was it? He just wanted to see him text first once in a while! May 7:

3:32 PM: by the way idk if you got this last time 3:36 PM: my class ring size is the medium 3:44 PM: hopefully you order it by the deadline :P 4:03 PM: no idea when the deadline is 4:20 PM: bLAZE IT 4:24 PM: sorry i have like 0 money so i got it from the consignment shop 4:31 PM: i hope you like synthetic rubies!! leaving them with ur dad 10:40 PM: update. i cried for four hours with your dad.

June 2:

7:30 AM: gRaDuAtIoN dAy!!! 7:32 AM: there’s cookies in the reception menu 7:35 AM: snickerdoodles your favorite [eyes] 10:02 AM: i’m getting some for u 10:05 AM: [kissy face] 7:40 PM: the announcement was Weird 7:43 PM: anyways i have the snickerdoodles (Remus couldn’t go over to where Roman was staying, so he left them in the living room. He knew Roman would appreciate them. Hopefully he’d come over (wait, probably not, given...))

Well, actually, he could understand why he never texted first. June 11:

12:14 PM: roMAN 12:16 PM: [Attachment: Remus_Picani-Kleitman_Acceptance_Letter.pdf] 12:18 PM: YEAHHHH 12:24 PM: I’m sure you got in too SEND ME YOURS WHEN YOU GET IT 12:32 PM: WE MIGHT SHARE A ROOM YEA 12:35 PM: [Attachment: celebration.jpg]

Everyone was probably saying that he ought to just move on, but to be honest, he couldn’t... Actually, to be honest, no-one had told him to move on to his face yet. In fact, everyone was surprised he was doing so well, given how bad the circumstances were! The situation was stressing him out so much, even his dads were gently advising him to rethink things. (Well, that was part of the territory with one of them being a therapist and the other being a barista.)

“I got y’all some kouign-amann from the cafe,” said Dad, putting it down on the counter. His shirt had SLEEP scrawled on it with a Sharpie; it was the one that Remus had made for him as a joke. He still wore it. Huh.

“Sweetie, what’s a queen amahn?” asked Papa.

“It’s a... er, it’s like a... this is kinda like a croissant that had dreams of a muffin tin and salted caramel. One for you, babe.... then one for Doodlebug-”

“Can I leave some for Roman?” asked Remus.

They exchanged a glance.

“Of course you can,” said Papa with a smile. “Your candle’s on the table. Also, I got the news about being accepted into university? Good job, kiddo. You know, that was your father’s alma mater.”

“Are you sure you want to go to school right away after...? No problem taking a gap year.”

Papa glared at Dad. “Be nice.”

“I’m sorry, Remus, it’s just...” Dad put down his coffee. “If you’re not ready, if you need more time-”

"I’m sure,” said Remus with a grin, trying to get rid of what he just remembered. “Trust me.”

“Please find a good way to put away the snickerdoodles, they’ve been there since last week!” shouted Papa.

June 12:

12:12 AM: its twelve twelve make a wish 12:15 AM: hey when does your phone bill go out? 12:20 AM: im just saying that would Explain some things 12:22 AM: i know your dad pays Everything like a year in advance 12:34 AM: tell him i say hi 12:34 AM: 12:34 MAKE A WISH

July 12:

3:30 PM: guess who’s a double major in bio and theatre!! 3:32 PM: marine biology babey 3:53 PM: it’s good for the SOUL 4:04 PM: this cute octopus reminded me of you by the way 4:10 PM: [Attachment: for_roman]

August 14:

6:24 PM: moving in is the Worst 6:32 PM: by the way i got a single 6:35 PM: no roommates 6:41 PM: still have the bunk tho 6:44 PM: also got ur favorite pillo

August 30:

2:12 AM: roman it is like two o’clock in the morning what the Heck are you doing here, 2:15 AM: if u see me wave Hi 2:32 AM: ok >:c 2:42 AM: dont mind Me just studyin on top of the planetarium 3:15 AM: tbh i didn’t even know we go to the same campus? haven’t seen you around or anything 3:17 AM: shit phones gonna di

September 28:

2:20 PM: i failed my test 2:22 PM: idk what to d 2:24 PM: *do

September 29: 7:30 PM: remember that octopus you gave me that eats negative emotions? 7:32 PM: it works!!

October 3:

1:10 PM:  You’d like the theatre program, really 1:15 PM: just so u know they’ve listed your name as an ‘honorary member of the class of’ 1:19 PM: that’s really nice of them. idk if your dad knows

October 23:

9:45 AM: i had to explain one of our inside jokes 8( 9:52 AM: i can’t Explain the deodorant thing that was One Time 9:55 AM: also why i’m called The Duke 9:56 AM: its bc you said it. not my fault 9:58 AM: its still cute pls call me that still 9:59 AM: pancake brunch pancake brunch pancake brunch October 31: 6:12 PM: sun’s down! joyous samhain 6:15 PM: i remember when you sewed me that octopus btw, the one that eats ucky feelings 6:19 PM: how long did it take you to get the laurel sachet into it?? 6:34 PM: also thank you thank you thank you for helping me find a friendly church to celebrate all saints day 6:47 PM: that year was a NIGHTMARE because you forgot to get your white candles and carnelian, and i forgot my holy water, so we were driving around town like Madmen 6:59 PM: it was worth it though 7:03 PM: i left you a script, i think you’ll like it.

November 9:

11:19 PM: i miss you so so much.

November 10:

12:20 AM: ignor this i drank like 12:24 AM: a lot 1:15 AM: i’m sorry i should’ve been with you 1:22 AM: i shouldve been there With You. 1:45 AM: but i wasn’t 2:20 AM: i didn’t know thered be a 4:11 PM: shit i just saw these. Sorry to bother you December 2:

10:10 AM: hey roman, been a bit. yea sorry about last time. too much of the Alcohol 10:13 AM: gonna go over to my parents’ house 1:00 PM: if you wanna come over, you can. dad’s making snickerdoodles and papa’s gonna watch atla (yes i still have that dvd you got me do not @ me it’s with your candles on your table just like everything else) 1:03 PM: that was on the dot, i’m happy.

December 21

8:34 AM: hey, it’s snowing 9:13 AM: couldn’t help leaving you some hot cocoa. and snickerdoodles of course 10:12 AM: i love you Remus went to go help his dads with making breakfast, but by the time everyone was done cleaning and they had finished watching some shitty Hallmark movie, he remembered that he had left his phone upstairs. Going upstairs and looking at it, he felt something in him break.

[2 Unread: Roman <3, bf’s dad]

10:22 AM, Roman <3: Why are you texting this number? 11:15 AM, bf’s dad: Remus, disregard that last, I’m so sorry. I just found his phone and I saw only the recent message first

The phone started ringing. Remus answered it as quickly as he could.

“I’m so sorry Mr. Sanders I didn’t know that someone was actually getting these messages I thought the line was out,” he said within a few seconds before the person on the other side sighed.

“No, it’s quite all right. And Virgil’s all right, by the way, if you prefer. I... I was just looking through his things for the first time. You know, it being a holiday and all... Memories, things like that.”

“Yeah, I understand.”

“I just turned the phone back on, I’m getting a lot of messages.”

“Oh.” Remus stared at the wall, trying to come to terms with everything. “Well, I--”

“I’m not going to stop paying for his phone. I’m sorry, I just... I still have his voicemails on it, and I can’t stand the thought of it going offline either.”

“Right, I... I listen to it too.”

“I happened upon the last one he sent to you.”

“You looked at the messages?”

“I only looked over when I stopped getting new ones, but I saw the last question he sent you. For your ring size.”

“Yeah? He asked my ring size so that he could--”

“There’s no easy way to say this, but.. I found something of his. Can you come over?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t, but can you please tell me what it was? Please?”

“I really think I should tell you this in person.”

“Please, Mr. Sanders. Please, I... I can’t manage that.”

He sighed. “All right, Remus. I found an early acceptance letter to SJAU, and... and a ringbox.”

Remus felt his grasp on the phone grow weak. It fell onto the bed, Mr. Sanders’ voice still clear.

“I think he was going to ask for you to....”

“No, we... We were just out of high school, I-- that doesn’t make sense.”

“He always was one for those romantic gestures. There’s some poems here, too. A life-plan. I’m not sure exactly what malacology is, but--”

“Mollusks. Like octopi and squids.. Sorry for cutting you off, what was that?”

“Some of it’s in your handwriting, but one of the entries is ‘ask him’, for the day after... you know.”

God, he could hear his sad smile through the phone. He knew exactly how Mr. Sanders looked right now just talking to him, probably wearing that hoodie that was too big on him, in a dusty room full of things that used to belong to the most vibrant person that Remus had ever met.

But then Roman had died.

He was the most wonderful person, and he had just died.

“I’ll come over to deliver the ring to you. Is that okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s... that’s fine. Uh, call my dads first, though. They’re still not convinced I’m doing okay.”

“I understand. I’ll talk to you later, Remus.”

“Thank you, Mr. Sanders.”

The line went dead in his hands.

Remus held himself and wept.

December 28:

12:30 PM, Remus Picani-Kleitman: Mr. Sanders, would you like to come over for our New Year’s party? 12:34 PM, Remus Picani-Kleitman: It’s a tradition we had. You don’t have to if you’d rather not. 12:45 PM, Virgil Sanders: I’d love to go.

January 1:

12:00 AM: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! 12:05 AM: [Attachment: :)] 12:07 AM: we are all smiling in this photo and for that i think we deserve a hug. 12:10 AM: this rings the most beuatifl thing i’ve ever fuckign seen. thank you,, 12:14 AM: never gonna get rid of it <3 12:16 AM: it looks Good on my finger 12:30 AM: jsyk your dad’s asking my dads for the kouign amann recipe 12:32 AM: thats a pastry, i left those for u a while back 12:39 AM: okay i’m crying a bit but honestly, i love u 12:44 AM: I love you so so so much, Roman

Somewhere out there, whether it was from some wonderful paradise or beyond the veil or even only in wishful thoughts, Remus knew that someone was saying I love you too.

[thestuckylibrary]

Group Ask 169

What is a group ask?

Previous Group Asks

AO3 Search Tutorial

Please send us an ask stating which group ask and which person you are replying to. Thank you so much in advance!

Anon 1 said:

hi sorry to bother you but theres this book ive been looking for where steve did go back in time but he eventually comes back and thinks only a couple minutes passed in real time but it turns out three years have passed and bucky is really sad and lonely and everyone at the compound is scared of him. im pretty sure steve uses hand to hand combat training to work through bucky being touch starved? thanks!

drjezdzany sent in  Not In That Way* by onymousann (complete | 31,574 | not rated) *chose not to warn, /others

Anon 2 said:

ive been trying to find this one shot forever but bucky saves two girls from hydra after destroying a base and then realizes he needs help so he goes to steve? they get married and "adopt" both of the girls (im pretty sure one is named may) and then im pretty sure they go to canada? i believe the youngest of the girls has magic because shes half asgardian. also i remember the oldest girl having an allergic reaction to seafood, thanks for your time :)

kittytheroseofkirea and dragonflybeach sent in Home of the Brave* by MonocerosRex (complete | 35,103 | T) *implied/referenced suicide

Anon 3 said: (possible underage)

hi, i was wondering if you could help me find a fic where bucky's in high school, and steve's his soccer coach and teacher??? tysm

liquifiedwater said:

hi! im looking for a fic with siren! bucky who was taken from the ocean and his sister Becca, Pierce is trying to use buckys voice to harness the power of Fury(their god), Steve is trying to earn money to pay for Sarah's medicine, there's circus with Clint and Sam in it(maybe riley), and Wanda and Steve are friends, wanda is a servant of some kind, and Steve is hired by Pierce to train Bucky to sing on command, Steve feels bad and plans their escape, Brock is in it, there are 40 chapters

Anon, time-lord-no-more and princessniitza sent in This Side of the Blue by notlucy (complete | 156,382 | E)

Anon 4 said:

Hi, I'm looking for a fic that involves Loki showing up at the tower and freezing steve in ice and bucky tries to use his metal arm to brrak him free?

so-much-purple said:

I'm tearing my hair out trying to find a fic I read a few months ago. It's a modern, no powers au. Steve and Bucky have had an on-off fwb relationship for a few years, when Steve decides he wants to get serious. He tells Bucky, who is pissed and walks out. Turns out Bucky had thought they were serious the previous year, when they were temporarily living together, and had been heartbroken and moved out when he realised Steve didn't.

dolphinqueen10 sent in I Want to Hear You Whisper (settle down inside my love) by chicklette (oneshot | 12,003 | E)

Anon 5 said:

I’m looking for the fic where it’s like sugar daddy steve but before that he fired bucky from a company and bucky didn’t really like him at first

time-lord-no-more and miraishu sent in Collar Full of Chemistry by 2bestfriends (complete | 188,111 | E)

Anon 6 said:

ive literally spent the last hour trying to find this fic where bucky is born in the modern day era while steve still becomes captain america back in the day and moves into the apartment room above buckys when he gets out of the ice?? cant remember but bucky might have been a teenager in it too,, thankyou in advance < 3 < 3 < 3

scriggle-scraggle sent in erupted with rubies* by yasgorl (oneshot | 8,009 | E) *chose not to warn

Anon 7 said:

Hi! Can you help me find a fix where Bucky is a mermaid (I’m pretty sure??) and at one point Steve takes him to the aquarium and Bucky gets distracted talking to the fish (octopus???) sorry if it’s vague!

Anon 8 said:

Hi! Looking for a fic I read a while ago and can't find, where Bucky and Steve don't know each other growing up, neither goes to war (so pre-serum steve), and they meet both working at the dock - Steve as an admin. Steve has a crush, there's some flirting over punching in and out of work and payment day, and Steve let's Bucky know when some people are talking about him being gay - since that's dangerous at the time. Thank you!!

time-lord-no-more and princessniitza sent in Our Perceived Realities by SkyisGray (oneshot | 21,371 | E)

Anon 9 said:

Hi! I read a fic a while ago and I think it started right after the helicarrier scene from TWS. I cant remember if Bucky took Steve from the hospital or if Steve found Bucky on his own, but Steve ends up living with Bucky. I remember one scene of Bucky telling Steve that he has 3 mins to shower and gets mad when he takes too long. The avengers get worried and come looking for Steve and end up taking both Steve and Bucky with them i think. Sorry if it's confusing or anything and thanks in advance

Anon 10 said:

hey i’m looking for a one shot (i think) where steve as the leader is expected to talk to the press but one mission he hurts his hand real bad and a press person tries to shake his hand before steve can move back and steve yells f and the avengers immediately swoop in to take care of the situation, I can’t remember the name for the life of me

pinklystrange said:

I've tried searching on AO3 for this, and been all through the library, but what I remember is quite vague, so it didn't give me results. Steve moves to a small village that's under a magical barrier, Natasha is a witch I think (there are spiders involved maybe), Bucky is possibly a dragon or a demon. Alexander Pierce is the bad guy. At one point Bucky goes to a mountain side to help out Sif, and Steve is revealed to be part angel at the end. Ring any bells to anyone?

scottmcallss said:

Ugh! I'm looking for a fic where Steve is raising Peter on his own. (Tony is dead I think) and Bucky suddenly appears one day and it turns out them two of them had a horrible childhood together (Pierce abused them and they ran away together, except Bucky abandoned Steve at a hotel/motel). And the fic ends with Bucky leaving Steve and Peter??

Anon 11 said:

Hi! Ive been looking for this fic for ages but i’ve not managed to find it: unfortunately i don’t remember much but what i do remember is mainly from the last chapter. i think that maybe steve had been kidnapped and brainwashed?? i remember in the last chapter i think they were in a safe house, steve wakes bucky up by pointing a gun at him, bucky managed to talk him down and they go outside to look at the stars. in sorry this is so vague, thank you!!

[scattered-imagination]

Erasermic Headcannons

Some erasermic headcannons that I have been playing around with!

Majority of these apply to cannon BNHA universe~

Hizashi nicknames for Shouta: Starlight; Kitten; Sleepy Prince; My Dark Knight; Cupcake; Dearest; Hubbie; love of my life; my heartbeat;-> hizashi is very open about calling shouta nicknames. But the first three nicknames are special, and often used when Hizashi si being privately affecionate.

Shoutas nicknames for Hizashi: Sunshine; My Light; Songbird-> Shouta is very private about nicknames for Hizashi since the other means so much to him, his nicknames for the blonde are intimate. He does call Hizashi "Zashi" and "Mic" often in public, and sometimes a "Love" will slip out when around trusted people.

Hizashi & Shouta have 4 cats! Mochi-> she was Shoutas first cat after graduation. a rescue, Light Gray, a very good judge of character. Melody-> an orange Maine Coon that Hizashi found near his radio station, she loves it when Hizashi hums. BlackJack-> a black Japanese bobtail cat; he loves causing chaos and trying to steal food as it cooks. King-> sphinx cat; calm and always has a regal look on his face as if he is judging you. Loves wearing sweaters

Hizashi is actually allergic to cats! He takes allergy medication when it flares and gets allergy shots once a week. He loves cats but he loves how they calm shouta down and how shouta let's all his walls down around their fuzzy children.

Shouta isn't a bad cook necessarily... but after the "Ramen Incident" Hizashi has banned him from cooking alone. Any shouta cooking time has to be supervised by him or one of the kids. Shouta feels slightly offended that Hizashi trusts the kids in the kitchen more than his own husband

Hizashi & Shouta adopted Eri and shinsou almost immediately. Hizashi was not willing to let either child enter the foster care system, shocking the police officer who suggested it by screaming no and dragging the children back home. Shouta explained that they would be fostering the kids until the adoption papers went through. (As soon as they could Hizashi and Shouta became foster parents)

Shouta hates sharing Hizashis cooking with anyone besides their kids, even with their close friends. He loves watching his husband relax as he cooks, humming and brimming with confidence.

Shouta, whenever he can, listens to Hizashis radio show. Hes not a huge music fan, but listening to his husband passionate rambles settles something in him.

Hizashi loves listening to Shouts complain about class 1A, cause he can see the underlying love and worry he has for this new batch of students.

Shoutas ultimate weakness is head massages/head scratches. Whenever Hizashi wants his husband to sleep, he just lays the others head in his lap and gently massages his head and hums a soft song.

Shouta gets Hizashi to sleep by literally octopus cuddling him. Hizashi loves the heat and being held close, and almost immediately drops off into sleep. That's why he tends to keep an eye on Shouta when he wants to pull an all nighter.

Pertaining to above. This then becomes a game between the two where Hizashi jumps to a standing position, working on papers and running away from Shouta as the other tries to sneakily get close to his husband.

Hizashi's favorite song to sing to his husband is -> Say You Wont Let Go by James Arthur

Shoutas favorite song to dance to with his husband is -> You Are the Reason by Callum Scott

True colors by Anna Kendrick & Justin Timberlake is another song they love to dance to, and the one song Hizashi can convince Shouta to sing with him.

Shoutas Theme Song: Angel with a Shotgun by The Cab

Hizashi's Theme Song: Speechless by Naomi Scott

Their wedding song: Can't Help Falling in Love with You by Haley Reinhart (originally by Elvis Presely).

Nemuri was Shoutas Maid of Honor, and Kan was Hizashis best man, Tensei officiated the very small wedding ((he declared he was going to do it and called dibs!)). Hizashi wore a white suit with a red handkerchief, Shouta wore a black suit with a yellow handkerchief.

Hizashi and Shouta started crushing on each other from the first day they met. They started tentatively dating their third year, and got more serious when they moved in with one another.

Hizashi asked Shouta out; Shouta was the one to propose to Hizashi

Hizashi has a silver wedding band he wears on his middle finger; on the inside Shouta has "My Sunshine" engraved on it.

Shouta has a golden wedding band he wears on a chain around his neck; on the inside HIzashi has "My Starlight" engraved on it.

They dont wear their wedding rings in obvious places to prevent villains finding out about their relationship and using it against them.

Shouta and Hizashi earned the name Shout & Mute during a training simulation where they were teamed up and won the simulation.

Shouta still has nightmares from USJ, and whenever he wakes up, Hizashi is there. The blonde never touches Shouta until the other fully wakes up, as Shouta doesnt deal well with touch during times of distress. Once coherent Hizashi will softly hug Shouta and ramble about the events of the day to clear shoutas thoughts and mind, running his hands gently through the others hair.

Hizashi has bouts of insecurity and self-doubts, seeing himself as bad and useless (something that his bio parents and the foster system beat into him). Shouta can see when this happens, with how Hizashi starts biting his nails and fidgeting. In times like this, shouta pulls Hizashi close and whispers love and validation to the other.

Shouta will give public displays of affection if it means making Hizashi smile and cheer up

Hizashi respects Shoutas need for space and privacy, and will never bring a plus one to events or parties. He tells people that he has his husband with him in spirit, not wanting to replace shouta with anyone.

Shouta loves spicy food, while Hizashi hates it. But when they adopted Shinsou and Eri...both children took after his sleepy prince and adore anything spicy and full of heat. So Hizashi spent a whole weekend testing spicy recipes on his family.

And that is Part 1 for now!

Let me know if theres any aspect of my erasermic headcannons you would like to know more about! Send an ask, a comment, reblog! I love you all my listeners!

KEEP SHINING BRIGHT!

[starlight-starwings]

The Adventure Zone Season 2 quotes.

Unfortunately the quotes I saved between seasons 1 and 2 were lost because I got a new phone, so this is starting with episode 6 of Amnesty. If anyone has good quotes from the first arc, experimental arcs, ans the live shows during the experimental arcs, feel free to add or send them.

• - listen... ok, we could... agdgsbjsbuhah. how they eat and breathe... its just a show, just relax

- technically the .. waste water systems and the regular water systems of a city or not connected, and so like theres a lot of.. a lot of ways to figure it out. But yea, maybe you get the idea that this thing doesn't.. it can.. it.. is weird man...

• hey there adventure zone lovers. I dont know if that means you love adventure zone, or you... heh heh heh, ya know.

• - can you feel it?

- the idea of feeling is kinda weird-

- close your eyes and tell me if Im doing it

- well you already did- ok.

- close your eyes. Did I do it?

- you did it

- aaahh, I didnt

- ok. This is not a fun game for me

• - its our first day here!

- yeaa. Like... Let me ask you about the fucking... cast of Friends

- youre talking about Matt Leblanc and Matthew-

- Ah fuck.

- ah shit

- damn

- son of a b- he's good, he's real good

• - Don't I have to roll?

- we have not played dungeons and dragons in so fucking long!

- Here

- what are you rolling to do?!

• - tell me, is patience one of your more valued v-

- yes!

• Hey. No ideas bad. It just wasn't good.

• - I got eleven? You got any cash on you?

- uhh yea I happen to have nine bucks right here. Griffin cant prove otherwise.

• listen Pidgeon, here's the thing: I... love... to... practice fishing. But... the running water... frightens me. Its called hydrophobia. And I would love to practice my cast in a real water environment, where I can get in a large body of water, where I can guarantee that running water wont be a factor. And I would just love to practice my casting in a guaranteed still body. But here's the other thing! Sometimes if you do it in a lake, thats what youre thinking, a fish will bite it. And normally thats ideal but Im just trying to practice casting. If like.. when you dont want to catch em. Thats when they're biting. Ya know what I mean? I need a still body of water, that I can guarentee won't move, to practice my fishing casting.

• - Noooo

- are you sure?

- yeaaaaa

- Beause its our podcast!

- noooo

- we're actually doing our own podcast

• - Make uhhh.... check. You're gonna need to make a check for this one

- I got the gum. But I have the gum

- It's good gum; you'll have advantage on it.

• Cause I mean a 4 legged octopus is a horse.

• - What does control water do?

- Merle can- well gee wiz. It makes spaghetti! What do you think control water does?

- whats the fucking card say?

• Good you know my sister Jane was doing missionary work in Honduras and normally I would spend the uh, holidays with her. But uhh I had some friends come in from uhh out of town. And uhh... I wanted to communicare this to anybody who might be listening somehow, and I thought this might be a more organic way of uh, doing it.

• um... nah so ok right... so... the pizza hut sign... started to fall, cause of the weather. And he ran up there on a... fire escape, and tried to... push it? With a bat? Dammit. Nah. He just pushed it. And it fell. But then he fell. Cause he got shocked. I bet. Mmmm. I didn't see. I was in- Ah shit. Alright. Hey folk- hey guys. Rewind. I- hey guys rewind a second. Aahh fuck. I was inside I didn't see. Anything. I don't know. This man. I do know this man. His name- fuck. Alright. I'm met.. high net... here... Mmmm, alright. So, This man's is name is Ned. And he's uh.. friend of mine. And I dont know what the hell happened to him. But you know this guy. He's always getting into something. I don't know. I was in the building. I almost got killed by a pizza hut sign. I might be in shock.

• Write the fucking story with me! We are New York Times bestselling authors!

• - Ok. Go ahead. Uhh where are your wings? Obviously you can't see them right now because I'm wearing my disguise. Would you like to see my wings?

- Yes.

- I don't know you very well, so no, not- not quite yet.

• Aw Juno this is so embarrassing. Um last week, uhh, my truck got beat up, and I... I had to take it over to Whistle's. And he wa- while he was fixing it up I had to borrow yours to run out uh... to- to do a check on... a body of water. In... the... tree... zone... forest. Fuck. It was a body of water in the tree zone. And I had to check on it in your car. And when I- I drove your car, without asking, and... I think I left my... pants? No. Wallet? Money. I left my wallet in your truck and I was wondering if you could go look for it real quick.

• - a goat..

-well. No its.. i mean you look at the legs you can kinda see... yea...

- its pan!

- no were not crossing over

- there no crossover here sir. No.

• - oh thats easy. All you have to do is press that red button right there.

- and what will that do?

- itll give you the key sphere

- well hold on....

- merle casts zone of truth!

- so what happens when I press that button?

- the red button? Itll give you the key sphere

- what will the blue button do?

- it'll kill ya

- what would the other frankenstein tell us?

- well my companion over there always lies. He'll tell ya to hit the blue button.

- oh okay. Its kinda one of those- ya know what Im gonna check his flavor real quick

- ok.

- I flip the lever

- No that'll kill me!

- the other Frankenstein sits up and says oh hey! Im Frankenstein. A lot of people say Im Frankenstein's monster but-

- yea yea yea. Ok we get it. Uh is this Frankenstein in the zone as well?

- uh yea.

- These buttons over here what will the red one do?

- oh the red one? Its the key sphere one. I would've told you its the blue one.

- ok I slam-

- No listen. Listen. No listen. Listen listen listen. Hey. Stop wait! Im the liar Frankenstein.

- I hit the red button.

• - Merle casts shield of faith

- ok. On whom?

-um.. it surrounds a creature of my choice

- yeap. So..

- time to make that choice

- that is kinda the question I asked

• - are you a grief counselor?

- yea you a grief counselor?

- I do have some counseling experience, um, but right now think of me more as your friend.

- I could really use a grief counselor I think more than a friend at the moment. I got-

- ok then Im a grief counselor, yes.

• - and Im gonna roll 2 d6... god almighty... hatchy matchy...

- howd you do, Justin?

- Well I got a 4 on that one, Trav. Which is, what we call in the biz, we call that bad. That is less than ideal.

• A charisma check. Okay. Hahahaha! That's a threeee.

• I know how you young people talk: It was rad.

• hey! Hey man fucking bigfoots behind you dude, drive! Jesus Christ! Hey Ive been skitching this whole time brother, Im really sorry but you gotta fucking drive right now dude, come on! Im vulnerable as hell! Come on! Dont make me fight bigfoot, I want thinking through this shit, go! Im not gonna fucking fight bigfoot.

• No, you know what- I'm gon- ya know what? It's fine. Ya know what? Its fine. Its fine. Im gonna- it- thisll be fine. Thisll actually be fine. Uhhh Im gonna cast lightning bolt on the tank. I thought about it, thisll be fine.

• - dont worry, the rest of us will take care of this. I think the best plan is if the three of you go up the spire to face the final confrontation alone

- why is that the best plan??

- cause theres exactly enough people outside- robots outside, that we'll need all of the army...

- but then why dont we wait and help you kill all of the robots?

- we'll kill them and then we'll all go up together

- theres no time!

- what are you talking about were just fighting a bat- theres plenty of time

- we got a whole other act!

- huurrryy

- okay we'll hurry, yes fine, yes.

- good luck

- well now dont say that! You said to go on ahead!

- I'll remember you

- this passive aggressive stuff...

- youre sending mixed signals. Should we stay and-

- the doors that ive just invented shut behind you.

• Okay uh, Hollis. Let me ask you something: Okay, on the other side of this portal- im gonna lay it out for you. Alright. Are you ready? One hundred percent honesty. On the other side of this portal is another world. Just like, the same scope and size of ours, with a population of people, and... just like us. People just like us. Right? And... think about this. In... lets say West Virginia alone, not even the whole world, the whole earth, west Virginia alone, right. How many people do you think there is, a per capita ratio, thats murderers to just regular people? Right? So what if somebody said "there are murderers in west Virginia, so we're gonna march into west Virginia and kill everyone there, cause they might be murderers." Right so what if the only thing you knew about west Virginia is that some murderers came from here? And you said "so let's just go in and wipe everone out"? You would come in and wipe out the whole state, and murder innocent people, just in case they might be murderers. What does that make you, Hollis?

• - Aubrey what... what are you?

- Oh I'm bisexual.

- Do all of bisexuals have this power?

- Yes.

• - uh lets jump right in

- im in. Already. I actually got in before you did. Just to make sure the water was okay.

- oh how is it? Hows the scene doing?

- the scene is good. Im already in it, but because the narrator has not joined us we are locked in... stasis. We are characters in search of an author as it were, in the pernella play.

- so theyve been there for 2 weeks? Or whats up?

- theyve been there for 2 weeks. Locked in perfect stasis, until time itself should turn its gaze upon us and let us resume our merry roles in this play called existence.

• - did you get the part where we're gonna find the quail and just crush its heart or whatever?

- its uh- its- it- its quell

- yea thats what I said, quail

- you said quail like a big ol bird

- wait what are you saying?

- yea quail

- no quell

- quell?

- quell

- quail?

- quell

- kwäil?

- listen- listen kwaiell

- quail!

- you said quail. Its quell

- the mothman uh, grabs your wrist duck and looks at the watch on it and says 'boy howdy I sure hope that those arent several minutes that we will need to uh prevent the apocalypse. Because they are gone now.

• - Ju- Ju- wait a minute. Juno? Juno Devine?

- yes shes-

- Juno Devine is- shes in the forest service? (Switches to character voice) Ahh-ha! Well that makes a lot of sense! She- she loved the forest. That- ahh...

- that is... did you just do a player to character cross-fade?

- that was so fucking wild Ive never seen anything like that on this podcast

- that melted my brain

- it was like Clint started the sentence, and then Thacker ended the sentence

• I can roleplay a gay elf with magical powers. I dont think I could roleplay someone who likes beef jerky

• We've all been trying to help people right? And sometimes you fuck up. Sometimes people get hurt, sometimes you can't- sometimes you act and you do things, and you're wrong. And if you let the fact that you fucked up stop you from trying to help again, thats... thats the real mistake. Ive fucked up so many times. You cant be afraid to help. Because yea, you might hurt. But you also might help. You just have to keep helping. Dont be afraid. Im not.

• - query: are the extraterrestrial invaders engaging in deception? 89.84% affirm

- now listen. You all don't know Duck like I do. Believe me, he can not engage in deception to save his life.

- he's also an employee of the federal government!

- it skyrockets up to 98.64%

• It makes sense right? Great power; great responsibility. But you know what people forget? Is that the green goblin dosen't swing up to your door everyday and blow your whole life away and in one moment you have to figure out what to do, ya know? The responsibility is every day. Its every moment, and it's- every time I pick one of those saplings up and I put it in the ground, and pat the ground around it, and I pour water on it, and I think about our childrens childrens childrens children will breathe the air that this thing makes, and Minerva, thats power. Thats my responsibility. I dont have to fight no more. I did it. And now Im gonna grow.

[akingdomtheorist]

KH-Catch Up: KH2FM Part A Lot of Things Happened

Finally a new installment of KH Catch-Up, with our lovely comments frommy best friendo.

Atlantica PART 1

"What's the plot of Atlantica this time? They did the movie last game?"

"Did they?"

"No not really, it was like the first half."

"I forgot Donald was an octopus and Goofy was a turtle."

"Oh that's right the swimming control-UUUUUHG. -ten seconds later- Wait this is much better."

"Uh yeah Sebastion, that 'strange feeling' is called being thirsty."

"Uh... what... are we Guitar Hero now?" "What if I told you there is no combat in this world?" "I'm 100% okay with this."

"Wait, if theres no heartless here then why are we here? I'm happy to hang out but I just want to know if that's the case."

"I'm not used to seeing you this... happy, sir."

"Nah, Seaking's a pretty chill Pokemon."

"Jack Sparrow crashed another ship eh?"

And then we need to go get Magnet. We shall return. After I Gummi Engineer.

AGRABAH PART 1

He is glad it isn't a hallway.

"Aladdin's just upset Disney signed him up for four direct to video sequels."

"You wanna buy Jafar from this peddler? "Sure."

-- "So do the Heartless have intelligence?" "No they run on instinct." "Oh so there isn't one going "Man why do I gotta fight this guy?" "It's like... when a bunch of drunk people happen to go by a McDonalds and all they do is go "NUGGETSSSS". That is how Heartless work." "So... so they are slaves to the nugget?" "The one inside your heart." --

"Breathing fire isn't fair."

"Oh, it's you again. Friggin' Eggman."

"Now i have to go back through all this cave and get treasure." "It's almost like you're in the cave of wonders." "It's almost like there's a lot of treasure."

"Why is it these two statues let me examine them? I'm very suspific."

-fighting yet another Fat Bandit- "It's almost as if you have ice magic that can help." "Thank you." "You're welcome."

"Wait, do we Twin Rova now? THIS IS JUST TWIN ROVA!"

"That was the keyhole?" "Why do you think the Cave of Wonders was like BITCH?!"

----ONE CUTSCENE LATER----

"Well that's ONE way to put it, Axel."

"God, Nobodies move really weird."

"Oh my god it's Twilight Town."

HALLOWEEN TOWN PART 1 THE MOST IMPORTANT LEVEL

He proceeds to make every musical reference he can about Jack's abilities.

"Do you think the Grinch exists somewhere in Christmas town?"

"Oh my god we're wearing a black santa outfit? This is the edgiest thing you've worn, Sora."

"Sora's like OOOOHHHHHHH." "Isn't he precious?" "Yes."

"Are you going to make the Zelda sound every time you open a big chest?" "Yes."

"Is this a boss? Oh, with that level of health bar yeah."

He dun bodied the boss with Anti-Form. We wanted Wisdom, but got Anti-Form instead.

"Santa, you've taken five steps out of the door. You can't be lost if you can still see the door. Also WHY DID YOU LEAVE?"

"Oogie isn't that smart is he?" "I mean, he was just brought back from the dead." "Oh right he still hs that -4 to all ability checks."

"Is he just gummy worms now?"

"Wait, Jack's the keyhole? Since when?" "I'll give you one more guess." "It's the suit?" "It's the suit."

Back to Gummi Ship shenanigans, we now have Lil PEW PEW! and Just some Guns as Teeny Ships.

PRIDE ROCK PART 1

"Oh look, it's where Simba's dad was horribly trampled to death... OH HI Simba! I think your dad is about to be horribly trampled to death!"

"Oh Simba look, your dad's about to get Hamleted! Man you really shouldn't think about that."

"HOW DO WE FIGHT? I do not see how we use a keyblade like this. Maybe our tail."

"Just, fly away Donald! You can fly."

"Hello, Dodongos?" "I believe they're technically Wildbeasts." "They're Dodongo's. WHERE ARE THE BOMBS TO PUT IN THEIR MOUTHS, THEY HURT."

"Sora you have a job to do, you can't be the Lion King. Roll credits."

"Isn't Grand Cross Simon's final smash in Smash Ultimate?"

"I'm sorry, Pete is such an unintimidating name."

"Come on, we can take these guys, I'm a lion with a sword!"

"Do I have to do some Tarzan level platforming? I'm not used to this quadrapedal body! I don't think I can do it! -cutscene happens- Oh, apparently I can."

"Yes, when lions get older, they get manes."

-begins drifting in a circle endlessly with the Dash ability- "DEJA VU, I'VE JUST BEEN IN THIS PLACE BEFORE"

"I didn't think this would work so well. DUN DU DAH DAAAAH DUN!"

I shouldn't have told him he could drift. He has made the Deja Vu meme 7 times now. 8 times. Now he's found the perfect spot and singing the entire song.

-pauses game- "OBJECTION! HOW DO YOU KNOW IF THIS IS FAMILIAR IF YOU WEREN'T THERE!" -starts singing Pursuit theme from Ace Attorney-

COLLISEUM PART 2

"Is that an Underworld Coliseum? The Underdrome."

He fight in tournaments now.

"Are you just bodying Leon with glitter?" "Yup."

"I'M A LITTLE BIT BETTER THAN LAST TIME LEON."

-sees solo Drive tournament- "Ooh. Oooooohhhh...."

"This is fun."

He died to time.

TWILIGHT TOWN PART 2

We go save Seifer from being a lamer.

"God dammit Seifer."

-sees Laexeus Absent Silhouette- "Alright, let's get bodied by someone."

"Did he just reaction command me?!"

He died very fast. He swore about it.

"OATHKEEPER!"

ATLANTICA PART 2

"I'm gonna FC this." He is going to perfect the Atlantica songs. I don’t know why but he is.

[bera-chan]

Parallels

i had a dream not to long ago. now this is significant because this is the only dream ive had in the past 15 years. or at least the only one in that long i can remember.

i remember every single detail.

Details so I don’t forget.

Main character is a humanoid alien, (or human when space travel is normal.)

Comes in contact with another advanced race, that immediately attacks. Main character and team crash land on a mostly water planet where the air is thick, and acidic.

There is life on the planet, humanoid and aquatic like creatures that can survive both on “land” and underwater.

The main character is captured. This planet doesn’t have space flight, and hasn’t had alien contact.

Planets culture is a mix of steampunk, and smoothed over retro. Just not as flashy.

The main character is sick for an undetermined amount of time due to the acidic natures of the world, but wakes up having adjusted to it. Something about the effects of the world are more mental than physical. As a scientist, he knows you don’t develop an immunity to acid.

He wakes up inside a large room. The ceiling a thousand feet up. The room a few hundred feet wide. One entire wall is covered in a thick black or purple curtain.

The air is thick.

He pulls part of it to the side so he can see whats there, and the entirety of the wall is made of glass. With thick darkness on the other side.

A sensor tool on his forearm, while clouded with static readings, tells him the entirety of the area on the other side is water. His instincts tell him that something is very wrong with what hes seeing.

He finds a door, and spends a few moments looking through it, to see what is out there on this world. And he sees the mundane. a variety of human like and aquatic like beings going about there daily routine. He sees childred playing and getting into mischief. He only sees part of the outside of the building hes in, but children are trying to explore it.

He thinks he can pass as a local, even for a little bit.

He does. For about a minute. Apart from his clothing, what gave him away as something they didn’t know was that he had walked out of a building no one was permitted to enter. Or leave. No one had ever seen anyone come out of this structure. It was revered as both sacred, and unholy. Something terrifying. Death, imprisonment, or exile were the only punishments connected with entiering the structure. It is everyones shock that gave him about a minute to walk away.

Hes sundenly chased by what he assumes are the local authorities. He runs away.

He notices random similarities between here and his own home world. Hes running through an every day looking airport terminal.

He doesn’t have much time to think on it. Hes caputured.

He understands their language.

Barely any time passes when he is told that he has been released.

A tall woman, whos aquatic nature resembles a solid black octopus. No legs, just tentacles, connected to a human waist, arms, neck and head. Shes wearing a dress. Its thick, and dark toned, just like most of her tentacle arms. Her ebony skin, while probably considered dark is almost pale compared to her dress and aquatic side.

“I know where you come from” she says, “so why don’t you come with me”

With little choice, he follows. Almost entranced by this creature.

He can tell she is someone of power, just from her words, and how the others avoid staring at her. Like their eyes will burn forever if they gaze on her.

They return to the room he woke up in before. It takes a moment for his eyes to adjust, but he follows her still. To his surprise they stop at a large normal looking hottub. And even more surprised, and albiet a bit flustered when this woman starts stripping and then eases herself into the tub.

Beckoned to join her, so they can talk, she says. He does the same, and slides himself into the water.

Its hot, but light. Lighter than the air. Hes confused. He feels the water, but at the same time, doesn’t.

she asks a number of questions. “where do you come from” “

she asks these, but her face shows that she already knows the answers somehow.

She says she has a need for him. Something only he can do.

She doesn’t say what, but only that they’ve tried for a very long time. Whatever it is was, or is, a painstaking process that has shown zero progress, and has resulted in the loss of much. Financially, and the loss of life.

“but, because you are here things can finally change. you can bridge the gap between our failure and success.”

Hes afraid to ask, his instinct tells him it has something to do with what is on the other side of the glass.

“it will still take time, but a few months to a year is trivial compared to the lifetimes spent on it” she says excitedly. He sees her lick her lips in anticipation. Despite the warmth, he shivers.

He hasn’t had a chance to talk at all. Just answering her questions one after the other.

“what are you building” he manages to ask

She responds, with her eyes widening with barely restrained enthusiasm, and a grin that could destroy worlds with its intensity, “A bridge.”

That’s all the information he’s able to get, as she rushes him out to some sort of placement. “we don’t need you until the final stage” she explains.

Days and weeks pass, and he has been working a mundane job that was given to him to quell any boredom. And possibly his curiosity about the world and this bridge. He knows that they’ve been studying him the entire time. He wakes up with his arm itchy, and a small microscopic pinprick. His tool on his forearm allows him to see where. Because its still with him, he assumes they don’t know what it is or does. Or at least havnt tried removing it.

They are studying his blood.

He thinks he understands the curiosity involved. Hes some random alien here. If he had the tools, hed be studying theirs, too.

They could at least ask him.

At night, when he can; he returns to the room he originally woke in. the glass wall bothers him. Something in his gut is screaming out that needs to be heard. Something in his head screaming back ‘im trying, im trying.’

He investigates the wall as much as he can. One night, he finds a stair case. It goes to the roof, maybe.

He treks upwards for hours, longer than he though realistic for how high the roof of the building is. This giant wall of a building.

When hes outside during the day, the entire possibly eastern side of the city is surrounded by this building. Hes never seen the other side.

Maybe he will tonight once hes at the top.

The air gets thicker the higher up he goes. He can feel the acidity increasing as well.

His forearm tool alerting him that the pressure and acid are beyond lethal doses now.

He doesn’t feel dead though.

He reaches the top, finding a door. He opens it up slowly. Fearful of what he might see on the other side. What kind of watery world might exist.

Theres nothing at all.

Theres no water.

No grass.

No life.

He doesn’t understand. The glass wall shows an infinite abyss beyond its protective glass. He saw the dark water through it. His tool confirmed it.

But theres nothing on the other side at all.

“I don’t like it much out here. Its far to bleak.”

He turns around, and not really to his surprise he sees the powerful octopus lady.

“I don’t understand” he says asking more than saying. “how can this nothingness be here, when down there on the other side of the glass it shows that infinite ocean?”

She grins knowingly.

“which one is real?” he ask.

His stomach knots up when she grins and responds, “both are.”

She walks across the roof, towards another door. She passes him, almost laughing as she gestures for him to follow. “what is glass most used for?”

“windows,” he says after a moment. Following her quick pace.

They go down another set of stairs, but the air doesn’t change. Its dark, he feels like itll consume him.

“there is a place we wish to go, but have not been able to reach. There is a great infinite chasm, that impedes our way. You are the key to finishing the bridge that can grant us our salvation from this world. That blackness you see on the other side of the glass. Its not water, but the chasm we are trying to cross. This entire building, this dam, is a window. And we are trying to reach the window on the other side.”

Hes barely able to make sense of this. This is beyond his knowledge of science. This isn’t part physics at all.

They reach the bottom. It’s a small room by comparison to the other. But there is no curtain covering the glass wall. Instead, there is a hole.  

He still doesn’t understand. He can still see the watery blackness through the hole. Why isnt this entire room flooded.

He feels something though, coming out of it. Or he feels a lack of something when he steps closer.

Theres no acidity coming from it.

He steps away from it. It he can feel his nerves flaring up. Everything is starting to hurt until it reaches a point where hes gasping on his knees in pain. His body unable to adapt like it had when he first arrived here.

The woman picks him up, sheiding him some from the invisible flames.

“for some reason, it only hurts you” she says amused. “What lies beyond there is the atmosphere you used to live in. it seems your body cant re-adapt to it without possibly killing you.”

Hes barely able to hear her through his panting. She keeps saying things he just doesn’t understand.

“good luck little man. Its time for you to bridge the gap, and free us”

She turns around, re-exposing him to the pain, and without warning tosses him through the hole.

Pain floods his body the moment the darkness envelops him.

Hes falling.

And falling

Through the pain, all he can think is that death is near. Falling closer and closer to his end.

Unless the air kills him first. The pain the atmosphere is causing him is just as infinite as the darkness.

Time is lost.

Falling forever.

Death cant come soon enough now.

Hes slowing down. But he still doesn’t see the bottom.

The pain is lessening. Hes grateful.

He stops falling. But doesn’t move. The trauma leaving him twitching on the ground.

The air doesn’t hurt him anymore. He can breathe. It feels like the air he was always used to before his crash on this world.

He stands slowly, a bit nauseous. And looks around. Hes surprised when he sees the glass wall, and the hole he was pushed through right in front of him. He had fallen only a few feet. There is no-one on the other side though. The woman gone.

He reaches towards the hole, but isn’t able to pass through it. like the glass is there, blocking him.

He looks down, what is he standing on? He touches the ground. Its warm. Smooth. A sheer surface.

He turns from the hole, and holding up his forearm tool, activates a light attachment.

The darkness is still thick, but he can see a bit in front of him. Walking forward, he finds a doorway. He walks through it, and finds a massive antechamber. Pale orange light illuminating its entirety.

Hes immediately horrified. All along its walls were cages and pods. All different from each other in design, shape, and size. Each one with a being inside. Each frozen in place, in a stasis. Or dead.

Thousands, hundreds of thousands of lives.

[captainkaladinstormblessed]

um of course you should do bodhi/cassian :D

(after that initial mishap, here goes attempt 2)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i lov

proposes: bodhi! even with his anxiety, if he wants something desperately enough, he wont let the nerves get in his way of at least trying. meanwhile cassian has grown up learning that everyone and everything is temporary and no one ever stays, so he would never expect for any one to pledge to stay with him for the rest of their lives, and he especially doesnt think he deserves for someone to, either, not after everything hes done, even after he and bodhi have been together for years, he always fears, but expects, it to end. (bodhi talks some sense into him. “That may be what you think, but what do you want, Cassian?” And he does. He wants this so desperately. He says yes)

shops for groceries: together because its a novelty neither of them have had the opportunity to indulge in for so many years, if ever. theyre that one disgustingly cute couple who fight over which cereal to buy, then kiss over the cart

kills the spiders: cassian, but he doesnt kill them, he puts them outside. (“but what if it comes back inside?!” “it’s just a spider bodhi” “spiders existing is homophobia, cassian!”)

comes home drunk at 3am: bodhi doesnt drink, but cassian usually wont stay out that late or get that smashed either, especially without bodhi. on the rare occasion kes keeps him out so long, he always gets home and is super snuggly and just octopus’ himself around bodhi

remembers to feed the fish: technically it’s bodhis responsibility since cassian is away often and it should just be part of bodhis routine except it isnt and he forgets a lot, then overfeeds it the next day. when cassian gets home, hes no better. eventually they install an automatic food dispenser

initiates duets: cassian! theyre in the mess and a song comes over the sound system, one that cassian has been playing in the ship for weeks. cassian smirks at him and starts singing the words, encouraging bodhi to join in. he buries his head in his arms for the first minute but eventually its gets to That Point in the song and he gives in and fully belts it out and cassian is grinning and singing and bodhi keeps singing and k2so stares at them like theyre mad and at the end the half empty mess cheers. bodhi tries to melt into the floor. cassian kisses his cheek and distracts him entirely.

falls asleep first: it varies day to day. sometimes cassian is so exhausted from a mission that he knocks right out the moment he lies down. sometimes its a different kind of exhaustion, the kind that keeps him awake all night, unable to stop thinking about everything, the kind that whenever he closes his eyes he has to force them open again because he cant see the faces of all the people he’s killed, all the names hes forgotten. he cant spend 6 hours watching them on repeat on the back of his eyelids. so he stays awake. bodhi on the other hand, sometime just works till he falls asleep in the hangar, working on his ship. hes also the type to fall into a food coma nap. but sometimes late at night, cassian already snoring beside him, the tentacles creep back. these nights, he lights a candle and crawls close to cassian and watches the soft dancing shadows on the wall, like how he would watch the dust and sand over the desert outside NiJedha, and lets the memories of childhood soothe him.

plans spontaneous trips: bodhi, i feel. cassian has his regimented routine because it gives some order to the chaos of war, but bodhi, finally away from the oppressive restrictions of the Empire, makes the most of his new freedom

wakes the other up at 3am demanding pancakes: bodhi cant cook. he spent most of his adulthood on a cargo ship with no kitchen, or on a base with a mess. he wakes up in his ship in the hangar after dozing off in the middle of fixing something and goes to wake up cassian because hes starving and the cooks are asleep, “please cassian i missed dinner and you make the best pancakes in the galaxy” “1. that was your fault. 2. sucking up will get you no where. 3….. you know what, yes it does, lets go. but only cos i love you” cassian doesnt even notice its the first time hes said it until later, but thats because bodhi is happy groaning while shovelling pancakes at lightspeed and professing his own love for cassian (and his pancakes), so really, theyre even

sends the other unsolicited nudes: not sure if either of them are the type, maaaaaaybe bodhi, but their holos are resistance-issued and probably connected to a common server which could potentially lead to some extremely embarassing situations with certain senior officers

brags about knowing karate even though they never made it past yellow belt: cassian! baze and chirrut start teaching bodhi how to fight and cassian comes over like “oh i know this!” and theyre like mmhmmmmm, so bodhi and cassian have a go sparring, or trying to. theres a reason cassian is an intelligence officer and carries a blaster because bodhi flattens him in 0.02s. “i thought you were a novice!” “i thought you were an expert!” (theyre not together at this point and then they realise bodhi is fully lying on top of cassian and theyre really very close and they scramble away smiling awkwardly. baze snorts and chirrut sniggers from the background. they know)

comes to a halt outside bakeries/candy shops: bodhi!! cassian didnt really have that kind of thing as a kid, and he was barely a kid for long enough anyway, but bodhi remembers the rare trips, the treats his mother would get them maybe twice or three times a year, and the excitement he always felt, the wonder. he always slows, wistfully looking in. after a few times, cassian notices. bodhi tries to insist its not necessary but cassian insists that it is and drags him inside and spends all the spare credits they have on sweets and pastries

blows sarcastic kisses after doing ridiculous shit: cassian. he just pulled some stupid and partially unnecesary stunt to save bodhis skin in a battle. bodhi rolls his eyes

killed the guy (also, which hid the body): if its part of the mission, cassian will kill the person and bodhi will help hide the body, but cassian will only kill someone if it is absolutely necessary and avoids it if at all possible. he has already seen and dealt out so much death, he doesnt if he can at all avoid it.

wears the least clothing around the house: bodhi! after the war when they settle down on yavin iv (not far from the damerons), well. yavin iv is a fairly warm planet and jedha was very much not, so bodhi is very used to the cold. in the middle of winter and its -10 degrees and cassian has wool socks, 3+ fluffy jackets and at least 5 blankets, and still feels cold, bodhi is walking around barefoot in a tshirt and pants. (“youre making me cold just looking at you!”) (cassian gets his vindication when summer rolls around and bodhi feels like the entire planet is just a sauna 24/7)

has icky sentimental moments for no apparent reason: cassian!!!!! my first thought was bodhi but, i feel like he would have at least vaguely apparent reasoning to be sappy. cassian, on the other hand, internalises pretty much everything, its so hard for most people to know what hes thinking that when he suddenly throws his arms around bodhi and whispers how much he loves him, most people are completely thrown, moments earlier thinking he’d just found a cool pattern in the bottom of his mug or something. at first bodhi is even thrown a little by it, but he soon learns cassians tells. there may be no reason apparent to anyone else, but bodhi always knows.

send me a pairing and ill tell you who does what!

[wordsarefear]

CHAPTER 6 The Awakening (Part 2)

It feels like forever I've been asleep I can feel my body once again though. Which means maybe...maybe it's time. I will my toes to move, even if its just a little bit, they twitch and wiggle at my will I internally jump for joy. Now time to try my fingers, their stiff but they move as well. Today is the day, I can feel it..Ive been trying for at least 3 days or more to move any part of my body. I slwoly try to open my eyes, everything is immensely fucking bright and blurry. I blink my eyes, still blurry so I blink them a couple more times and things start coming into focus. I'm laying in a hospital bed and to my left in a chair is Jax sleeping. To my right in the other chair is Happy!?!? what is he doing here? why isn't he out on club business or something? Surely they have something better to do than watch me lie here in a coma.. Jax is sleeping closer to my bed than Happy is so I slowly move my arm out so I can touch Jax's hand. I lay my hand ontop of my brothers hand like I used to when we were little and I was scared and just as I thought he would he jumps up. "ROSE!!!???!!!" Jax shouts in joy as I smile at him "Your awake" grumbles Happy just waking up himself "Yeah" I manage to answer barely audible my throat dry and hoarse "I'll go gra some water for you little girl" Said Happy as he got up to let Tara know I'm awake. "I was so worried Rose, when I saw Happy knocked out on the floor, I panicked  I wasn't quick enough I'm so fucking sorry this shouldn't of happened" Said Jax as I watched a tear drip from his eye. "Not your fault" I manage to say ah Happy comes back and hands me a glass of water. I gladly accept it and take a few small sips "Much better thank you Happy. now that I can talk..Jax, Happy..None of this is your fault you went above and beyond to make sure I was safe no one not even I knew how fucking crazy Kyle was." I said and than drank some more water. "Rose..I'm sorry" said Jax as Tara walked in "Don't be sorry Jax but now I your sister in true Teller fashion am out for blood" I said as Tara started to check my vitals "Rose, you can go home later today if you feel up to it. Your vitals are holding steady and the x-rays from last night show no sign of bleeding or brain trauma" Said Tara with a smile on her face "Just have to be kept an eye on for a few days" "Thank you Tara  I'm sure the guys and Ma wont let me out of their sights" I laughed. Later that evening I;m dropped off at my house. Upon my arrival Happy and Chibs greet me at the door. While I was in the hospital Chibs had come over with Juice and cleaned my house for me, while Happy I was told felt so bad about what happened that ontop of stocking up my kitchen with food theres a surprise waiting for me. Jax had helped me out of the car and up the steps of my porch before turning me over to Happy and Chibs. " Hey Lass glad to see yer alright" Said Chibs as he engulfs me into a hug. "Thank you Chibs it feels good to be home" I  reply as he ushers me inside as Happy grabs my bag off the porch "You guys didn't have to do all of this for me but it is very much appreciated" I said as I notice my house shine and the fruit and wine on the island in the kitchen. "That;s not all Lass Happy has a special surprise for ye" Said Chibs as he pushed me towards the spare room I had. I've been wondering what I could possilby use this room for as I have 2 other spare bedrooms that have been set up. The spare room door is closed I hear Happy come up behind me and cover my eyes as he opens the door He helps me walk inside so I don’t run into anything and once he turns on the light he lifts the blindfold off my eyes. I look around in awe, Happy had turned my spare room into an aquarium. There’s a huge saltwater tank, a few smaller tanks full of goldfish and angelfish and a 100 gallon tank with female betta fish in it. The saltwater tanks have dwarf octopus,  sharks, coral, fish, and I just I'm at a loss for words I love it so much.

[alienvirals]

Alien intelligence: the extraordinary minds of octopuses and other cephalopods

After a startling encounter with a cuttlefish, Australian philosopher Peter Godfrey-Smith set out to explore the mysterious lives of cephalopods. He was left asking: why do such smart creatures live such a short time?

Inches above the seafloor of Sydneys Cabbage Tree Bay, with the proximity made possible by several millimetres of neoprene and a scuba diving tank, Im just about eyeball to eyeball with this creature: an Australian giant cuttlefish.

Even allowing for the magnifying effects of the mask snug across my nose, it must be about 60cm (two feet) long, and the peculiarities that abound in the cephalopod family, that includes octopuses and squid, are the more striking writ so large.

Its body shaped around an internal surfboard-like shell, tailing off into a fistful of tentacles has the shifting colour of velvet in light, and its W-shaped pupils lend it a stern expression. I dont think Im imagining some recognition on its part. The question is, of what?

It was an encounter like this one at exactly the same place, actually, to the foot that first prompted Peter Godfrey-Smith to think about these most other of minds. An Australian academic philosopher, hed recently been appointed a professor at Harvard.

While snorkelling on a visit home to Sydney in about 2007, he came across a giant cuttlefish. The experience had a profound effect on him, establishing an unlikely framework for his own study of philosophy, first at Harvard and then the City University of New York.

The cuttlefish hadnt been afraid it had seemed as curious about him as he was about it. But to imagine cephalopods experience of the world as some iteration of our own may sell them short, given the many millions of years of separation between us nearly twice as many as with humans and any other vertebrate (mammal, bird or fish).

Elle Hunt with an Australian giant cuttlefish at Cabbage Tree Bay, Manly, Sydney. Photograph: Peter Godfrey-Smith

Cephalopods high-resolution camera eyes resemble our own, but we otherwise differ in every way. Octopuses in particular are peculiarly other. The majority of their 500m neurons are in their arms, which can not only touch but smell and taste they quite literally have minds of their own.

That it was possible to observe some kind of subjective experience, a sense of self, in cephalopods fascinated Godfrey-Smith. How that might differ to humans is the subject of his book Other Minds: The Octopus, The Sea and the Deep Origins of Consciousness, published this month by HarperCollins.

In it Godfrey-Smith charts his path through philosophical problems as guided by cephalopods in one case quite literally, when he recounts an octopus taking his collaborator by hand on a 10-minute tour to its den, as if he were being led across the sea floor by a very small eight-legged child.

Charming anecdotes like this abound in Godfrey-Smiths book, particularly about captive octopuses frustrating scientists attempts at observation.

A 1959 paper detailed an attempt at the Naples Zoological Station to teach three octopuses to pull and release a lever in exchange for food. Albert and Bertram performed in a reasonably consistent manner, but one named Charles tried to drag a light suspended above the water into the tank; squirted water at anyone who approached; and prematurely ended the experiment when he broke the lever.

Most aquariums that have attempted to keep octopuses have tales to tell of their great escapes even their overnight raids of neighbouring tanks for food. Godfrey-Smith writes of animals learning to turn off lights by directing jets of water at them, short-circuiting the power supply. Elsewhere octopuses have plugged their tanks outflow valves, causing them to overflow.

This apparent problem-solving ability has led cephalopods (particularly octopuses, because theyve been studied more than squid or cuttlefish) to be recognised as intelligent. Half a billion neurons put octopuses close to the range of dogs and their brains are large relative to their size, both of which offer biologists a rough guide to brainpower.

The coconut octopus is one of the few cephalopods known to exhibit the behaviour of using a tool. Photograph: Mike Veitch/Alamy

In captivity, they have learned to navigate simple mazes, solve puzzles and open screw-top jars, while wild animals have been observed stacking rocks to protect the entrances to their dens, and hiding themselves inside coconut shell halves.

But thats also reflective of their dexterity: an animal with fewer than eight legs may accomplish less but not necessarily because it is more stupid. Theres no one metric by which to measure intelligence some markers, such as tool use, were settled on simply because they were evident in humans.

I think its a mistake to look for a single, definitive thing, says Godfrey-Smith. Octopuses are pretty good at sophisticated kinds of learning, but how good its hard to say, in part because theyre so hard to experiment on. You get a small amount of animals in the lab and some of them refuse to do anything you want them to do theyre just too unruly.

He sees that curiosity and opportunism their mischief and craft, as a Roman natural historian put it in the third century AD as characteristic of octopus intelligence.

Their great escapes from captivity, too, reflect an awareness of their special circumstances and their ability to adapt to them. A 2010 experiment confirmed anecdotal reports that cephalopods are able to recognise and like or dislike individual humans, even those that are dressed identically.

It is no stretch to say they have personalities. But the inconsistencies of their behaviour, combined with their apparent intelligence, presents an obvious trap of anthropomorphism. Its tempting, admits Godfrey-Smith, to attribute their many enigmas to some clever, human-like explanation.

A paradox: octopuses have big brains and short life spans. Photograph: Peter Godfrey-Smith

Opinions of octopus intelligence consequently vary within the scientific community. A fundamental precept of animal psychology, coined by the 19th-century British psychologist C Lloyd Morgan, says no behaviour should be attributed to a sophisticated internal process if it can be explained by a simpler one.

That is indicative of a general preference for simplicity of hypotheses in science, says Godfrey-Smith, that as a philosopher he is not convinced by. But scientific research across the board has become more outcome-driven as a result of the cycle of funding and publishing, and he is in the privileged position of being able to ask open-ended questions.

Thats a great luxury, to be able to roam around year after year, putting pieces together very slowly.

That process, set in motion by his chance encounter with a cuttlefish a decade ago, is ongoing. Now back based in Australia, lecturing at the University of Sydney, Godfrey-Smith says his study of cephalopods is increasingly influencing his professional life (and his personal one: Arrival, the 2016 film about first contact with cephalopod-esque aliens, was a good, inventive film, he says, though the invaders were a bit more like jellyfish).

When philosophers ponder the mind-body problem, none poses quite such a challenge as that of the octopuss, and the study of cephalopods gives some clues to questions about the origins of our own consciousness.

Our last common ancestor existed 600m years ago and was thought to resemble a flattened worm, perhaps only millimetres long. Yet somewhere along the line, cephalopods developed high-resolution, camera eyes as did we, entirely independently.

A camera eye, with a lens that focuses an image on a retina weve got it, theyve got it, and thats it, says Godfrey-Smith. That it was arrived at twice in such vastly different animals gives pause for thought about the process of evolution, as does their inexplicably short life spans: most species of cephalopods live only about one to two years.

The study of cephalopods gives some clues to questions about the origins of our own consciousness. Photograph: Peter Godfrey-Smith

When I learned that, I was just amazed it was such a surprise, says Godfrey-Smith, somewhat sadly. Id just gotten to know the animals. I thought, Ill be visiting these guys for ages. Then I thought, No, I wont, theyll be dead in a few months.

Its perhaps the biggest paradox presented by an animal that has no shortage of contradictions: A really big brain and a really short life. From an evolutionary perspective, Godfrey-Smith explains, it does not give a good return on investment.

Its a bit like spending a vast amount of money to do a PhD, and then youve got two years to make use of it … the accounting is really weird.

One possibility is that an octopuss brain needs to be powerful just to preside over such an unwieldy form, in the same way that a computer would need a state-of-the-art processor to perform a large volume of complex tasks.

I mean, the body is so hard to control, with eight arms and every possible inch an elbow. But that explanation doesnt account for the flair, even playfulness with which they apply it.

They behave smartly, they do all these novel, inventive things that line of reasoning doesnt resolve things, by any stretch, says Godfrey-Smith. Theres still a somewhat mysterious element there.

Other Minds: The Octopus and the Evolution of Intelligent Life is published by William Collins. To order a copy for 17 (RRP 20) go to bookshop.theguardian.com or call 0330 333 6846. Free UK p&p over 10, online orders only. Phone orders min p&p of 1.99. It is out through Harper Collins in Australia.

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

The post Alien intelligence: the extraordinary minds of octopuses and other cephalopods appeared first on AlienVirals.com - Latest Alien & UFO News.

from AlienVirals.com – Latest Alien & UFO News http://www.alienvirals.com/alien-intelligence-the-extraordinary-minds-of-octopuses-and-other-cephalopods-2/

[frankthomas090-blog]

abby winter yoga - The New Angle On Abby Winters Lesbian Porn Just Released

In town for a bit on business, he wants to have some casual fun. 5 inches and THICK- his emphasis. Hes at the top end of length for my preference, but self describing it as thick got my attention. Sometimes theres just an instant connection or chemistry, drawing you in so fast with a new person you just kind of dance around the usual screening process.

Described his cock as 7. Average height, better than average build, green eyes. Hes my age, 31, but with the right combination of personality and body- I can look past it. Gimme that thick dick. This Ginger was respectful and straight to the point from the get-go on Plenty of Fish. Hes former Army- he had a pic up in his dress uniform. He sends me his number, we text briefly, and make the plan to meet that same day.

I appreciated his ability to be direct without being rude or vulgar. I like em young and hung! Also, I give it a 95% hes well endowed- orange is the new Black. At no point did he ask for nudes, or ask endless intimate questions- I give it a 50/50 chance of being a satisfactory encounter given our lack of communication beforehand, but I cant resist a Ginger to save my life.

He passed with flying colors. Im telling you, this isnt rocket science. I feel my lady business respond immediately. In our very brief texting we went over our Dos and Donts, as well as both agreeing we like aggressive AND passionate sex. Dont ever forget that.

The way hes kissing me I can already tell this will likely be a very good encounter. " Its early afternoon, what a great way to spend it. Upon his arrival I am freshly showered, bed is made, and Im wearing t-shirt that says "MEETS OR EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS. He sits next to me, we awkwardly exchange hellos, and then he moves right in to kissing me. Not overly eager, not sloppy, makes you want it right meow.

Hes not pushing my body down while shoving his tongue down my throat. He starts lifting up my shirt after pawing me and groping for the goodies- having discovered my nipples are pierced and briefly sucking them, its time for layers to come off.

He peels his layers off as Im taking mine off and comes right back to mauling me so expertly I couldnt resist. Hes kissing me like hes excited to see me, and hes real good at it. Hes maneuvering me onto my back while he takes a top position.

Moving his head lower he pulls my panties off but with such reckless abandon theyre still on my left leg. Good kissers are also known to be good lovers, from my observation. Youre taking your clothes off, too. I dont recognize the alphabet hes writing, maybe its Spanish.

The moment he kisses my thighs its all over. His eagerness to put his mouth on my slit is palpable. He didnt just dive face first into my nonsense salad- first he ran his tongue up my outer labia on both sides and it felt soft and gentle and GIVE ME MORE. Fuck God sounds totally different when Im cumming and yelling nonsense. Right around now is where I learned Im actually bilingual, but whatever language I was stuttering out can only be whispered or shouted; theres no in between.

Oh my god hes licking my asshole- I have sex Tourettes. Do you think Jesus and God can tell youre not swearing AT them? he pushes my legs up and licks up and down, then just down. I can barely take it, stretched to maximum capacity for comfort, and even then hes mildly uncomfortably large. And it consists mostly of very short, hostile sounding 4 letter words.

DONT STOP, DONT STOP, DONT STOP. Once he was done tracing and teasing I felt the warm, wet touch of his whole mouth open around my clitoris, moving his tongue in ways I cant imagine or describe. Holding my body close to his and pushing his hips up into me, my limbs instinctively wrap around him like a slutty octopus. His length is perfectly spot on- any longer and he just wouldve www.abby winters.com been too much.

GOD DAMN YOU HAVE A BIG DICK. Pushing my limits for size, I question if my lungs have enough room to inflate fully while hes all the way inside. Id put him right around 7 inches in length, my preference being 6.

With my pelvis lifted to the right level, hed shove his tongue in me as my insides start to contract with the orgasm. Literally cumming on his tongue. For sure hes wearing the biggest condom commercially manufactured, or a trash bag. My hips would buck but his arms would find their way around them and hold them in place, while my legs stretched upward trying to walk on the ceiling. We didnt transition out of missionary, he sat up and spread my legs wide while plunging into me with force and conviction.

He rolls on a condom and pushes himself inside me- my eyes rolled back so far I saw memories from my childhood. I sound maybe like a dying rabbit as my fingers pull his short hair and hold his head firmly in place. I didnt keep count, I was much too busy screaming his praises to the Gods.

He gets his and we collapse away from each other. As soon as I begin to cum, back go the legs, down goes the head, and hed ride my climax on his face. When I would start to climax, hed withdraw quickly and push my legs up around my head. He puts his underwear back on and Im guessing hes leaving now, sad times, but then he hops back onto the bed and I take the opportunity to snuggle up into his armpit and touch on his body while I bask in the afterglow.

He does this for every single orgasm. Im wrapped around him and mostly content. I cant get my mouth around it right, my hand doesnt wrap around it. Its awkward to handle, do I need a license? I feel like my certs are out of date because this newfangled cocktraption is just outside of my scope of experience.

Good Lord, who taught you to do that? I gift him my mouth because hes more than earned it. I could definitely go for more, but hes not some 20-something with endless stamina. He pounds away at me from different positions, I like him behind me because I like his stroke and how he braces himself by holding my hips down. Clearly he gets most of his satisfaction from pleasing his lady.

Im not going to argue, and somebody has been listening to my thoughts and dreams again because this man was made in a fucking lab just for me. The sun goes down around 4pm right now so thats not a good indicator either. what even is time, man. Im amused I come across that way- Im all about those afterglow cuddles.

Between our rounds we break for cuddles and snuggles- he confesses he assumed, from my profile on PoF, that he was to go after the first round and I wasnt much for affection or cuddling afterward. He enjoys the cuddles too, and doesnt like to just leave after a hookup unless thats her preference. Please me you thick dick Georgia peach!

Take care of your partner after you fuck them. He enjoys my head game but it just makes him want to fuck me. He gets off twice more and I have no idea how much time has passed. HOLD MEEEEEEEEEEE, pet my hair and tell me Im pretty. Fool I dont get to round 3 very often with men in their supposed prime, so whos more thrilled! Hes an intuitive partner and he reads my cues very well, plus he just wants to bring me all the pleasure.

Apparently he doesnt get to round 3 very often, and hes kind of thrilled about it. His size is intimidating and hes more shaped for vaginal feel goods. I like how he lays it down, and I like anal with the right partner. He admits hes never been able to have anal successfully, and I can understand why.

The way hes shaped, getting the head in is not the hard part- he gest wider towards the middle and base, like a fucking road cone. I dont doubt that hell follow my lead and respect my signals if things get too intense. The last time things started heating up Im on my belly and hes pressing the head of his monster cock on my asshole- Im doing word problems in my head about the likelihood of this being a good idea or not.

He apologizes for cumming too soon- I had to hold back my school girl giggle. He flipped me over and fucked me hard up until I told him to say my magic words. What a dear, sweet lover. He actually thought he owed me an apology after our FOURTH consecutive romp. Tell me you love fucking me. Ive got shit to do as well. 10/10 would fuck again.

I tell him point-blank Id like to see him again before he leaves, he happily agrees. We were unable to make it happen, he was just too big and we didnt do enough warmup, but I took about half of him before tapping out. He texts me asking what my plans are for the evening, as hed like abby winters galleries to grab a couple of beers and a late dinner.

Fast forward 24 hours. When posed with options like this, I always ask WHY NOT BOTH? I tell him Im going to shower and meet him at the restaurant bar near his hotel, he instructs me to bring my lube. I dont really do compromises. Or I could come over to his hotel room after and he could just fuck my brains out all night.

Maybe Id like to join him? In the time it took me to excitedly shower and keelhaul the warts off my body, my phone starts showing notifications of other interested men folk. The words fall out of his mouth and he explodes seconds later, to his own surprise. why end with a OR when theres always an AND?

He tells me I cant miss him at the restaurant bar- hes wearing a cowboy hat. (You thought that hyperlink went to the movie reference, didntcha? CANT TALK NOW, THICKEST DICK EVER WANTS TO TAKE ME TO POUND TOWN! Oh goody, I know what Im wearing later. Can honestly say hes a good one.

Test me, Ive got true grit. ) The company was great, hes fun to talk to. Cleaned up, its time for him to go he has things to do. As were leaving I ask how many Magnum XL condoms he has- he says 4. He confesses he doesnt generally have his lady spend the night because hes very affectionate and waking up next to someone hes spent the better part of the night pleasing, can lead to him having feelings.

We need to buy more, STAT. I feel like a teenager again. We talk about our kids, divorce, he tells me about his previous military experience, and what hes doing now. Rolling into Wal-Mart at that hour, with giant shit-eating grins on our faces, buying only condoms.

You think youre big, you aint big until you must have custom condoms. I get what youre saying, were gonna fool around and then I gotta GTFO. Sexy Ginger man with a good head on his shoulders and giant cock, somebody please snatch this man up quick haha or dont, and let him keep sharing that beautiful endowment with all the ladies.

Back to the hotel room, we barely make it to the bed and hes on me. Details from here are fuzzy, but he went down for ages and we fucked around in every position. Dont get it twisted; theres approximately 10 million condoms in my purse, but they wouldnt fit him. Remember, if youre hard to size on either end of the spectrum theres a UK company called TheyFit that you can enter your measurements into and theyll get you fitted with one of their 66 sizes.

We took a smoke break before trying www.abby winters yoga abby winters.com (linked site) again, and he tells me hes half Mexican. This perfect Ginger man is also a beaner. He was made just for me. While he was behind me licking and sucking my clit, shoving his tongue inside my pussy and my asshole, I hear the top of the lube bottle click. At some point I wore his Stetson when we come back inside, naked.

He positions himself at the backdoor and gently adds pressure until I whimper or tense up. Working together slowly, gently, following my vocal cues I take him to the base. Pushed to the hilt we pause. Its more than mildly uncomfortable, but if we take it slow itll feel great.

I can feel it cold and slippery, then hear him stroking it on himself. I swear to Kylie Minogue I cant make this stuff up. Im a little drunk- 3 drinks on a mostly empty stomach, Ill sit on your lap and call you Daddy if you want. He picks up the pace, we start talking dirty to each other. I have not been quiet at all during any of this, but now Im incapable of controlling the primal animal noises Im bleating into the bedding.

He was having some performance issues but was bound and determined to make sure I enjoyed our time as much as possible. I can feel him shaking a bit, hes going to cum soon. Its late, the booze and orgasms are sedating me.

Hes down close on me, wrapping his big hands around mine, entwining our fingers, crossing arms under my chin as he grinds into me. I tell him to withdraw slowly. I wake up hazily to roll over and his arms find their way around me again, hes a perfect big spoon. After several loud, amazing orgasms, he gets down close and pushes himself inside me all at once.

Rocking into me Im wrapped around him in my koala hug. Hes holding me and Im lost in it. I awake fully to him sliding down the bed, tossing my right leg over and burying his face in my morning pussy. Digging my fingers into his back and pulling his short hair, I dont want it to end. Im cold and reach for a sheet, he covers us immediately and Im back out like a light.

He slows down but hes plunging into me with the kind of force and quivering body that lets me know its now. Pushing my skirt up, pulling my panties to the side, he takes my box in his mouth and I hold on for dear life, staring up at the mirrored ceiling I get to watch myself almost cum in his mouth.

Morning sex was more passionate, and a bit briefer. Hes even kissing me with my dragon breath. We havent even hit the floor button yet. When we get to the ground floor we smoke together outside, recap our enjoyment with each other. My back hurts from how he so violently throws my legs back to eat my pussy while Im cumming, both my pussy and asshole are recovering from their respective stretching and beating, and Im walking on a broken toe.

We get dressed together, and he goes to walk me out but as soon as the elevator door closed he dropped to his knees. He tells me after two days with me, he wont be able to fuck for a week. God damn that was good. He reaches up, hits L, and continues his works. 10/10 would fuck any time. I am completely satisfied. This will happen one week from now, when he has free time again.

I scamper home to sit on frozen bags of peas, pound water, and cuddle all my pillows. tt/2i9A4Cy /u/DDfnord Link is directly to this story http://ift. This entry on my sex blog has hyperlinks, if youd like to see it in full I write on WordPress and the blog name is All The Dicks.

[viralhottopics]

Alien intelligence: the extraordinary minds of octopuses and other cephalopods

After a startling encounter with a cuttlefish, Australian philosopher Peter Godfrey-Smith set out to explore the mysterious lives of cephalopods. He was left asking: why do such smart creatures live such a short time?

Inches above the seafloor of Sydneys Cabbage Tree Bay, with the proximity made possible by several millimetres of neoprene and a scuba diving tank, Im just about eyeball to eyeball with this creature: an Australian giant cuttlefish.

Even allowing for the magnifying effects of the mask snug across my nose, it must be about 60cm (two feet) long, and the peculiarities that abound in the cephalopod family, that includes octopuses and squid, are the more striking writ so large.

Its body shaped around an internal surfboard-like shell, tailing off into a fistful of tentacles has the shifting colour of velvet in light, and its W-shaped pupils lend it a stern expression. I dont think Im imagining some recognition on its part. The question is, of what?

It was an encounter like this one at exactly the same place, actually, to the foot that first prompted Peter Godfrey-Smith to think about these most other of minds. An Australian academic philosopher, hed recently been appointed a professor at Harvard.

While snorkelling on a visit home to Sydney in about 2007, he came across a giant cuttlefish. The experience had a profound effect on him, establishing an unlikely framework for his own study of philosophy, first at Harvard and then the City University of New York.

The cuttlefish hadnt been afraid it had seemed as curious about him as he was about it. But to imagine cephalopods experience of the world as some iteration of our own may sell them short, given the many millions of years of separation between us nearly twice as many as with humans and any other vertebrate (mammal, bird or fish).

Elle Hunt with an Australian giant cuttlefish at Cabbage Tree Bay, Manly, Sydney. Photograph: Peter Godfrey-Smith

Cephalopods high-resolution camera eyes resemble our own, but we otherwise differ in every way. Octopuses in particular are peculiarly other. The majority of their 500m neurons are in their arms, which can not only touch but smell and taste they quite literally have minds of their own.

That it was possible to observe some kind of subjective experience, a sense of self, in cephalopods fascinated Godfrey-Smith. How that might differ to humans is the subject of his book Other Minds: The Octopus, The Sea and the Deep Origins of Consciousness, published this month by HarperCollins.

In it Godfrey-Smith charts his path through philosophical problems as guided by cephalopods in one case quite literally, when he recounts an octopus taking his collaborator by hand on a 10-minute tour to its den, as if he were being led across the sea floor by a very small eight-legged child.

Charming anecdotes like this abound in Godfrey-Smiths book, particularly about captive octopuses frustrating scientists attempts at observation.

A 1959 paper detailed an attempt at the Naples Zoological Station to teach three octopuses to pull and release a lever in exchange for food. Albert and Bertram performed in a reasonably consistent manner, but one named Charles tried to drag a light suspended above the water into the tank; squirted water at anyone who approached; and prematurely ended the experiment when he broke the lever.

Most aquariums that have attempted to keep octopuses have tales to tell of their great escapes even their overnight raids of neighbouring tanks for food. Godfrey-Smith writes of animals learning to turn off lights by directing jets of water at them, short-circuiting the power supply. Elsewhere octopuses have plugged their tanks outflow valves, causing them to overflow.

This apparent problem-solving ability has led cephalopods (particularly octopuses, because theyve been studied more than squid or cuttlefish) to be recognised as intelligent. Half a billion neurons put octopuses close to the range of dogs and their brains are large relative to their size, both of which offer biologists a rough guide to brainpower.

The coconut octopus is one of the few cephalopods known to exhibit the behaviour of using a tool. Photograph: Mike Veitch/Alamy

In captivity, they have learned to navigate simple mazes, solve puzzles and open screw-top jars, while wild animals have been observed stacking rocks to protect the entrances to their dens, and hiding themselves inside coconut shell halves.

But thats also reflective of their dexterity: an animal with fewer than eight legs may accomplish less but not necessarily because it is more stupid. Theres no one metric by which to measure intelligence some markers, such as tool use, were settled on simply because they were evident in humans.

I think its a mistake to look for a single, definitive thing, says Godfrey-Smith. Octopuses are pretty good at sophisticated kinds of learning, but how good its hard to say, in part because theyre so hard to experiment on. You get a small amount of animals in the lab and some of them refuse to do anything you want them to do theyre just too unruly.

He sees that curiosity and opportunism their mischief and craft, as a Roman natural historian put it in the third century AD as characteristic of octopus intelligence.

Their great escapes from captivity, too, reflect an awareness of their special circumstances and their ability to adapt to them. A 2010 experiment confirmed anecdotal reports that cephalopods are able to recognise and like or dislike individual humans, even those that are dressed identically.

It is no stretch to say they have personalities. But the inconsistencies of their behaviour, combined with their apparent intelligence, presents an obvious trap of anthropomorphism. Its tempting, admits Godfrey-Smith, to attribute their many enigmas to some clever, human-like explanation.

A paradox: octopuses have big brains and short life spans. Photograph: Peter Godfrey-Smith

Opinions of octopus intelligence consequently vary within the scientific community. A fundamental precept of animal psychology, coined by the 19th-century British psychologist C Lloyd Morgan, says no behaviour should be attributed to a sophisticated internal process if it can be explained by a simpler one.

That is indicative of a general preference for simplicity of hypotheses in science, says Godfrey-Smith, that as a philosopher he is not convinced by. But scientific research across the board has become more outcome-driven as a result of the cycle of funding and publishing, and he is in the privileged position of being able to ask open-ended questions.

Thats a great luxury, to be able to roam around year after year, putting pieces together very slowly.

That process, set in motion by his chance encounter with a cuttlefish a decade ago, is ongoing. Now back based in Australia, lecturing at the University of Sydney, Godfrey-Smith says his study of cephalopods is increasingly influencing his professional life (and his personal one: Arrival, the 2016 film about first contact with cephalopod-esque aliens, was a good, inventive film, he says, though the invaders were a bit more like jellyfish).

When philosophers ponder the mind-body problem, none poses quite such a challenge as that of the octopuss, and the study of cephalopods gives some clues to questions about the origins of our own consciousness.

Our last common ancestor existed 600m years ago and was thought to resemble a flattened worm, perhaps only millimetres long. Yet somewhere along the line, cephalopods developed high-resolution, camera eyes as did we, entirely independently.

A camera eye, with a lens that focuses an image on a retina weve got it, theyve got it, and thats it, says Godfrey-Smith. That it was arrived at twice in such vastly different animals gives pause for thought about the process of evolution, as does their inexplicably short life spans: most species of cephalopods live only about one to two years.

The study of cephalopods gives some clues to questions about the origins of our own consciousness. Photograph: Peter Godfrey-Smith

When I learned that, I was just amazed it was such a surprise, says Godfrey-Smith, somewhat sadly. Id just gotten to know the animals. I thought, Ill be visiting these guys for ages. Then I thought, No, I wont, theyll be dead in a few months.

Its perhaps the biggest paradox presented by an animal that has no shortage of contradictions: A really big brain and a really short life. From an evolutionary perspective, Godfrey-Smith explains, it does not give a good return on investment.

Its a bit like spending a vast amount of money to do a PhD, and then youve got two years to make use of it … the accounting is really weird.

One possibility is that an octopuss brain needs to be powerful just to preside over such an unwieldy form, in the same way that a computer would need a state-of-the-art processor to perform a large volume of complex tasks.

I mean, the body is so hard to control, with eight arms and every possible inch an elbow. But that explanation doesnt account for the flair, even playfulness with which they apply it.

They behave smartly, they do all these novel, inventive things that line of reasoning doesnt resolve things, by any stretch, says Godfrey-Smith. Theres still a somewhat mysterious element there.

Other Minds: The Octopus and the Evolution of Intelligent Life is published by William Collins. To order a copy for 17 (RRP 20) go to bookshop.theguardian.com or call 0330 333 6846. Free UK p&p over 10, online orders only. Phone orders min p&p of 1.99. It is out through Harper Collins in Australia.

Read more: http://ift.tt/2neC3EF

from Alien intelligence: the extraordinary minds of octopuses and other cephalopods

[alienvirals]

Alien intelligence: the extraordinary minds of octopuses and other cephalopods

After a startling encounter with a cuttlefish, Australian philosopher Peter Godfrey-Smith set out to explore the mysterious lives of cephalopods. He was left asking: why do such smart creatures live such a short time?

Inches above the seafloor of Sydneys Cabbage Tree Bay, with the proximity made possible by several millimetres of neoprene and a scuba diving tank, Im just about eyeball to eyeball with this creature: an Australian giant cuttlefish.

Even allowing for the magnifying effects of the mask snug across my nose, it must be about 60cm (two feet) long, and the peculiarities that abound in the cephalopod family, that includes octopuses and squid, are the more striking writ so large.

Its body shaped around an internal surfboard-like shell, tailing off into a fistful of tentacles has the shifting colour of velvet in light, and its W-shaped pupils lend it a stern expression. I dont think Im imagining some recognition on its part. The question is, of what?

It was an encounter like this one at exactly the same place, actually, to the foot that first prompted Peter Godfrey-Smith to think about these most other of minds. An Australian academic philosopher, hed recently been appointed a professor at Harvard.

While snorkelling on a visit home to Sydney in about 2007, he came across a giant cuttlefish. The experience had a profound effect on him, establishing an unlikely framework for his own study of philosophy, first at Harvard and then the City University of New York.

The cuttlefish hadnt been afraid it had seemed as curious about him as he was about it. But to imagine cephalopods experience of the world as some iteration of our own may sell them short, given the many millions of years of separation between us nearly twice as many as with humans and any other vertebrate (mammal, bird or fish).

Elle Hunt with an Australian giant cuttlefish at Cabbage Tree Bay, Manly, Sydney. Photograph: Peter Godfrey-Smith

Cephalopods high-resolution camera eyes resemble our own, but we otherwise differ in every way. Octopuses in particular are peculiarly other. The majority of their 500m neurons are in their arms, which can not only touch but smell and taste they quite literally have minds of their own.

That it was possible to observe some kind of subjective experience, a sense of self, in cephalopods fascinated Godfrey-Smith. How that might differ to humans is the subject of his book Other Minds: The Octopus, The Sea and the Deep Origins of Consciousness, published this month by HarperCollins.

In it Godfrey-Smith charts his path through philosophical problems as guided by cephalopods in one case quite literally, when he recounts an octopus taking his collaborator by hand on a 10-minute tour to its den, as if he were being led across the sea floor by a very small eight-legged child.

Charming anecdotes like this abound in Godfrey-Smiths book, particularly about captive octopuses frustrating scientists attempts at observation.

A 1959 paper detailed an attempt at the Naples Zoological Station to teach three octopuses to pull and release a lever in exchange for food. Albert and Bertram performed in a reasonably consistent manner, but one named Charles tried to drag a light suspended above the water into the tank; squirted water at anyone who approached; and prematurely ended the experiment when he broke the lever.

Most aquariums that have attempted to keep octopuses have tales to tell of their great escapes even their overnight raids of neighbouring tanks for food. Godfrey-Smith writes of animals learning to turn off lights by directing jets of water at them, short-circuiting the power supply. Elsewhere octopuses have plugged their tanks outflow valves, causing them to overflow.

This apparent problem-solving ability has led cephalopods (particularly octopuses, because theyve been studied more than squid or cuttlefish) to be recognised as intelligent. Half a billion neurons put octopuses close to the range of dogs and their brains are large relative to their size, both of which offer biologists a rough guide to brainpower.

The coconut octopus is one of the few cephalopods known to exhibit the behaviour of using a tool. Photograph: Mike Veitch/Alamy

In captivity, they have learned to navigate simple mazes, solve puzzles and open screw-top jars, while wild animals have been observed stacking rocks to protect the entrances to their dens, and hiding themselves inside coconut shell halves.

But thats also reflective of their dexterity: an animal with fewer than eight legs may accomplish less but not necessarily because it is more stupid. Theres no one metric by which to measure intelligence some markers, such as tool use, were settled on simply because they were evident in humans.

I think its a mistake to look for a single, definitive thing, says Godfrey-Smith. Octopuses are pretty good at sophisticated kinds of learning, but how good its hard to say, in part because theyre so hard to experiment on. You get a small amount of animals in the lab and some of them refuse to do anything you want them to do theyre just too unruly.

He sees that curiosity and opportunism their mischief and craft, as a Roman natural historian put it in the third century AD as characteristic of octopus intelligence.

Their great escapes from captivity, too, reflect an awareness of their special circumstances and their ability to adapt to them. A 2010 experiment confirmed anecdotal reports that cephalopods are able to recognise and like or dislike individual humans, even those that are dressed identically.

It is no stretch to say they have personalities. But the inconsistencies of their behaviour, combined with their apparent intelligence, presents an obvious trap of anthropomorphism. Its tempting, admits Godfrey-Smith, to attribute their many enigmas to some clever, human-like explanation.

A paradox: octopuses have big brains and short life spans. Photograph: Peter Godfrey-Smith

Opinions of octopus intelligence consequently vary within the scientific community. A fundamental precept of animal psychology, coined by the 19th-century British psychologist C Lloyd Morgan, says no behaviour should be attributed to a sophisticated internal process if it can be explained by a simpler one.

That is indicative of a general preference for simplicity of hypotheses in science, says Godfrey-Smith, that as a philosopher he is not convinced by. But scientific research across the board has become more outcome-driven as a result of the cycle of funding and publishing, and he is in the privileged position of being able to ask open-ended questions.

Thats a great luxury, to be able to roam around year after year, putting pieces together very slowly.

That process, set in motion by his chance encounter with a cuttlefish a decade ago, is ongoing. Now back based in Australia, lecturing at the University of Sydney, Godfrey-Smith says his study of cephalopods is increasingly influencing his professional life (and his personal one: Arrival, the 2016 film about first contact with cephalopod-esque aliens, was a good, inventive film, he says, though the invaders were a bit more like jellyfish).

When philosophers ponder the mind-body problem, none poses quite such a challenge as that of the octopuss, and the study of cephalopods gives some clues to questions about the origins of our own consciousness.

Our last common ancestor existed 600m years ago and was thought to resemble a flattened worm, perhaps only millimetres long. Yet somewhere along the line, cephalopods developed high-resolution, camera eyes as did we, entirely independently.

A camera eye, with a lens that focuses an image on a retina weve got it, theyve got it, and thats it, says Godfrey-Smith. That it was arrived at twice in such vastly different animals gives pause for thought about the process of evolution, as does their inexplicably short life spans: most species of cephalopods live only about one to two years.

The study of cephalopods gives some clues to questions about the origins of our own consciousness. Photograph: Peter Godfrey-Smith

When I learned that, I was just amazed it was such a surprise, says Godfrey-Smith, somewhat sadly. Id just gotten to know the animals. I thought, Ill be visiting these guys for ages. Then I thought, No, I wont, theyll be dead in a few months.

Its perhaps the biggest paradox presented by an animal that has no shortage of contradictions: A really big brain and a really short life. From an evolutionary perspective, Godfrey-Smith explains, it does not give a good return on investment.

Its a bit like spending a vast amount of money to do a PhD, and then youve got two years to make use of it … the accounting is really weird.

One possibility is that an octopuss brain needs to be powerful just to preside over such an unwieldy form, in the same way that a computer would need a state-of-the-art processor to perform a large volume of complex tasks.

I mean, the body is so hard to control, with eight arms and every possible inch an elbow. But that explanation doesnt account for the flair, even playfulness with which they apply it.

They behave smartly, they do all these novel, inventive things that line of reasoning doesnt resolve things, by any stretch, says Godfrey-Smith. Theres still a somewhat mysterious element there.

Other Minds: The Octopus and the Evolution of Intelligent Life is published by William Collins. To order a copy for 17 (RRP 20) go to bookshop.theguardian.com or call 0330 333 6846. Free UK p&p over 10, online orders only. Phone orders min p&p of 1.99. It is out through Harper Collins in Australia.

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

The post Alien intelligence: the extraordinary minds of octopuses and other cephalopods appeared first on AlienVirals.com - Latest Alien & UFO News.

from AlienVirals.com – Latest Alien & UFO News http://www.alienvirals.com/alien-intelligence-the-extraordinary-minds-of-octopuses-and-other-cephalopods-3/

[alienvirals]

Alien intelligence: the extraordinary minds of octopuses and other cephalopods

After a startling encounter with a cuttlefish, Australian philosopher Peter Godfrey-Smith set out to explore the mysterious lives of cephalopods. He was left asking: why do such smart creatures live such a short time?

Inches above the seafloor of Sydneys Cabbage Tree Bay, with the proximity made possible by several millimetres of neoprene and a scuba diving tank, Im just about eyeball to eyeball with this creature: an Australian giant cuttlefish.

Even allowing for the magnifying effects of the mask snug across my nose, it must be about 60cm (two feet) long, and the peculiarities that abound in the cephalopod family, that includes octopuses and squid, are the more striking writ so large.

Its body shaped around an internal surfboard-like shell, tailing off into a fistful of tentacles has the shifting colour of velvet in light, and its W-shaped pupils lend it a stern expression. I dont think Im imagining some recognition on its part. The question is, of what?

It was an encounter like this one at exactly the same place, actually, to the foot that first prompted Peter Godfrey-Smith to think about these most other of minds. An Australian academic philosopher, hed recently been appointed a professor at Harvard.

While snorkelling on a visit home to Sydney in about 2007, he came across a giant cuttlefish. The experience had a profound effect on him, establishing an unlikely framework for his own study of philosophy, first at Harvard and then the City University of New York.

The cuttlefish hadnt been afraid it had seemed as curious about him as he was about it. But to imagine cephalopods experience of the world as some iteration of our own may sell them short, given the many millions of years of separation between us nearly twice as many as with humans and any other vertebrate (mammal, bird or fish).

Elle Hunt with an Australian giant cuttlefish at Cabbage Tree Bay, Manly, Sydney. Photograph: Peter Godfrey-Smith

Cephalopods high-resolution camera eyes resemble our own, but we otherwise differ in every way. Octopuses in particular are peculiarly other. The majority of their 500m neurons are in their arms, which can not only touch but smell and taste they quite literally have minds of their own.

That it was possible to observe some kind of subjective experience, a sense of self, in cephalopods fascinated Godfrey-Smith. How that might differ to humans is the subject of his book Other Minds: The Octopus, The Sea and the Deep Origins of Consciousness, published this month by HarperCollins.

In it Godfrey-Smith charts his path through philosophical problems as guided by cephalopods in one case quite literally, when he recounts an octopus taking his collaborator by hand on a 10-minute tour to its den, as if he were being led across the sea floor by a very small eight-legged child.

Charming anecdotes like this abound in Godfrey-Smiths book, particularly about captive octopuses frustrating scientists attempts at observation.

A 1959 paper detailed an attempt at the Naples Zoological Station to teach three octopuses to pull and release a lever in exchange for food. Albert and Bertram performed in a reasonably consistent manner, but one named Charles tried to drag a light suspended above the water into the tank; squirted water at anyone who approached; and prematurely ended the experiment when he broke the lever.

Most aquariums that have attempted to keep octopuses have tales to tell of their great escapes even their overnight raids of neighbouring tanks for food. Godfrey-Smith writes of animals learning to turn off lights by directing jets of water at them, short-circuiting the power supply. Elsewhere octopuses have plugged their tanks outflow valves, causing them to overflow.

This apparent problem-solving ability has led cephalopods (particularly octopuses, because theyve been studied more than squid or cuttlefish) to be recognised as intelligent. Half a billion neurons put octopuses close to the range of dogs and their brains are large relative to their size, both of which offer biologists a rough guide to brainpower.

The coconut octopus is one of the few cephalopods known to exhibit the behaviour of using a tool. Photograph: Mike Veitch/Alamy

In captivity, they have learned to navigate simple mazes, solve puzzles and open screw-top jars, while wild animals have been observed stacking rocks to protect the entrances to their dens, and hiding themselves inside coconut shell halves.

But thats also reflective of their dexterity: an animal with fewer than eight legs may accomplish less but not necessarily because it is more stupid. Theres no one metric by which to measure intelligence some markers, such as tool use, were settled on simply because they were evident in humans.

I think its a mistake to look for a single, definitive thing, says Godfrey-Smith. Octopuses are pretty good at sophisticated kinds of learning, but how good its hard to say, in part because theyre so hard to experiment on. You get a small amount of animals in the lab and some of them refuse to do anything you want them to do theyre just too unruly.

He sees that curiosity and opportunism their mischief and craft, as a Roman natural historian put it in the third century AD as characteristic of octopus intelligence.

Their great escapes from captivity, too, reflect an awareness of their special circumstances and their ability to adapt to them. A 2010 experiment confirmed anecdotal reports that cephalopods are able to recognise and like or dislike individual humans, even those that are dressed identically.

It is no stretch to say they have personalities. But the inconsistencies of their behaviour, combined with their apparent intelligence, presents an obvious trap of anthropomorphism. Its tempting, admits Godfrey-Smith, to attribute their many enigmas to some clever, human-like explanation.

A paradox: octopuses have big brains and short life spans. Photograph: Peter Godfrey-Smith

Opinions of octopus intelligence consequently vary within the scientific community. A fundamental precept of animal psychology, coined by the 19th-century British psychologist C Lloyd Morgan, says no behaviour should be attributed to a sophisticated internal process if it can be explained by a simpler one.

That is indicative of a general preference for simplicity of hypotheses in science, says Godfrey-Smith, that as a philosopher he is not convinced by. But scientific research across the board has become more outcome-driven as a result of the cycle of funding and publishing, and he is in the privileged position of being able to ask open-ended questions.

Thats a great luxury, to be able to roam around year after year, putting pieces together very slowly.

That process, set in motion by his chance encounter with a cuttlefish a decade ago, is ongoing. Now back based in Australia, lecturing at the University of Sydney, Godfrey-Smith says his study of cephalopods is increasingly influencing his professional life (and his personal one: Arrival, the 2016 film about first contact with cephalopod-esque aliens, was a good, inventive film, he says, though the invaders were a bit more like jellyfish).

When philosophers ponder the mind-body problem, none poses quite such a challenge as that of the octopuss, and the study of cephalopods gives some clues to questions about the origins of our own consciousness.

Our last common ancestor existed 600m years ago and was thought to resemble a flattened worm, perhaps only millimetres long. Yet somewhere along the line, cephalopods developed high-resolution, camera eyes as did we, entirely independently.

A camera eye, with a lens that focuses an image on a retina weve got it, theyve got it, and thats it, says Godfrey-Smith. That it was arrived at twice in such vastly different animals gives pause for thought about the process of evolution, as does their inexplicably short life spans: most species of cephalopods live only about one to two years.

The study of cephalopods gives some clues to questions about the origins of our own consciousness. Photograph: Peter Godfrey-Smith

When I learned that, I was just amazed it was such a surprise, says Godfrey-Smith, somewhat sadly. Id just gotten to know the animals. I thought, Ill be visiting these guys for ages. Then I thought, No, I wont, theyll be dead in a few months.

Its perhaps the biggest paradox presented by an animal that has no shortage of contradictions: A really big brain and a really short life. From an evolutionary perspective, Godfrey-Smith explains, it does not give a good return on investment.

Its a bit like spending a vast amount of money to do a PhD, and then youve got two years to make use of it … the accounting is really weird.

One possibility is that an octopuss brain needs to be powerful just to preside over such an unwieldy form, in the same way that a computer would need a state-of-the-art processor to perform a large volume of complex tasks.

I mean, the body is so hard to control, with eight arms and every possible inch an elbow. But that explanation doesnt account for the flair, even playfulness with which they apply it.

They behave smartly, they do all these novel, inventive things that line of reasoning doesnt resolve things, by any stretch, says Godfrey-Smith. Theres still a somewhat mysterious element there.

Other Minds: The Octopus and the Evolution of Intelligent Life is published by William Collins. To order a copy for 17 (RRP 20) go to bookshop.theguardian.com or call 0330 333 6846. Free UK p&p over 10, online orders only. Phone orders min p&p of 1.99. It is out through Harper Collins in Australia.

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

The post Alien intelligence: the extraordinary minds of octopuses and other cephalopods appeared first on AlienVirals.com - Latest Alien & UFO News.

from AlienVirals.com – Latest Alien & UFO News http://www.alienvirals.com/alien-intelligence-the-extraordinary-minds-of-octopuses-and-other-cephalopods/