#so sosososososoosososo much

[poems-of-the-anentomologist]

She Who Shall Not Be Named

When I was in second grade,

I read all your books in two weeks

I wanted to be like you

A writer renowned the world over

I would write letters to your characters,

It’s how I got my start

You inspired me,

Gave me joy,

Shaped me to be who I am

And then I grew up

And suddenly,

I am a monster

A 15 year old pervert who will sneak into restrooms

To leave tears and smashed innocence behind

When I am still fragile myself

A cup just waiting to be chipped away

And washed down the drain with blood

[fruitsofhell]

It's time for me to unleash the inner crazy Metal Sonic lover within myself and talk so so much about this mother fucking fucker Chaos Sonic!!! (image taken off a post by @/littleaipom)

Ok so what I love so much about Sonic Prime is how much mileage it's getting out of the multiverse concept. It's a good multiverse cause it's surprisingly simple compared to the sort of MCU clusterfuck we associate the term with now. It's just Sonic AUS! And I really love that cause to me if anything screams Sonic media, it's AUs and canon divergence and wacky takes. I think this series is great at that, internally and with inspiring that in fans. What also makes it so great in Sonic Prime is that it has so much confidence in that. In the entire show the only normal characters are Sonic and Shadow, everyone else Sonic makes a connection with is a whole new spin on the old cast and its GREAT. I love Nine to death especially, he's definitely one of the best shatterverse characters.

But I think I have a definitive new favorite character now in Chaos Sonic, because he is that fresh new confident take on an old character but with such an underutilized one in Metal Sonic. I adore Metal Sonic, he's my favorite Sonic character and in my opinion the absolute most slept on. Sonic's robot doppelganger should absolutely have as much love as Shadow - his more serious and hardened antihero rival - and Knuckles - the stubborn immovable object to Sonic's steadfast unstoppable force. But he doesn't!! And it's tragic!! There is so much to do with Metal, with the Sonic created by the man who hates him more than anything, one of his first true rivals who was made to be his perfect antithesis, yet we get so little. But atleast in Chaos Sonic we get an awesome fucking take on him!! It's not Metal, but like I said about Sonic Prime as a whole, I LOVE how this show plays with the characters.

I see a lot of people pitting Chaos and Metal Sonic against each other or putting down one when talking about the other, but they're really just amazingly complimentary takes on the same character. The way it would be weird as hell to say either Nine or Tails is the better version of the character or something. Chaos Sonic's personality is of course what stands out the most between him and Metal Sonic, and while for some people it makes him unbearable or insulting to the OG Metal, it's one of the things I love most about him too. It's the complete opposite of what Metal and most robo-doppelgangers in the series, and especially Metal, are known for. Metal Sonic is all of Sonic's deadliness but none of his heart - he is a Sonic stripped of everything that makes him that energetic blue hero and reduced only to his power, speed, and obedience. He's a very cold a serious take on the robo-doppelganger that encapsulates the theme of classic Eggman, which was to do what nature did but better and deadlier. He's a very dehumanizing take on what Sonic is to his enemy, a potential tool like the rest of the animals and natural resources he abuses. Chaos Sonic is less like the (classic) Sonic Eggman wishes he had, but what (modern) Sonic is to him - this annoying, vain chatterbox who still manages to trounce you no matter how little he takes the situation seriously. Metal Sonic feel like a cold and calculated project driven by nothing but Eggman's frustration that something free and alive that he should have control over him still eludes him, and Chaos Sonic like just a project of pure spiteful mockery. Which I think very well represents how the relationship between Sonic and Eggman has changed to pit them more often as equals with their back and forths. And I really love how well both of them use this assignment to bring out these different aspects of Eggman and Sonic's relationship.

I think Chaos Sonic also specifically speaks to the New Yoke universe very well more than just being Sonic but more annoying. He is absolutely annoying and talkative just to mock Sonic, but stuff like his comments about Sonic being "smelly" and how he wants to be a brand star bring to mind really fun ideas about how he's like a commercialized version of Sonic too. I would love if he was integrated into New Yoke and you could see the Egg Council using him as a brand and he just loves it because he's an equally capitalistic jerk. It's a fun twist on Sonic's ego next to the more obvious one, that if Sonic didn't have his convictions he would very easily fall in line with the vanity of Eggman's worldview. Those are the moments that kind of make me wish that normal Metal Sonic had more speaking roles where him being an anti-Sonic in ideology could show. We atleast have the funny projection of him torturing animals from Sonic CD. I do still think that through Metal's sole commitment to beating Sonic and proving himself superior he does an equally good job at being that ideological opponent though, just in a quieter way befitting his era. Chaos Sonic represents Sonic's vanity in a personality sense with his want to be in the spotlight, and Metal Sonic in purely mechanical sense - just wanting to prove nothing but the fact he is better. And that single-mindedness makes him a great foil to Sonic who is a very wild and free-spirited person and never lets his ego and need to be the best define him more than his loyalty to those ideals. Meanwhile Metal Sonic entirely defines himself by his abilities and need to be a specific identity created by others. Something that makes him really damn tragic in a way I wish for the life of me was explore more.

Chaos Sonic doesn't HAVE to be an existential tragic mess... but I mean if they're gonna bring him back, he should have moments of that on top of just being awesome to watch fight and emote. OH MAN I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN INTO HOW EXPRESSIVE HE IS. Once again, something totally different from Metal Sonic that only improves both characters in my eyes. I can't get enough of either of them! Whether it's Metal Sonic's intimidating silence or Chaos Sonic's "teehee giggle ^_^" attitude towards violence, I think both have some great chilling moments to them. Chaos Sonic's voice too is so good, it's probably my favorite voice performance in the show. It just has so much energy, and makes every line sound so genuine no matter how stupid. But at the same time he has good range too! When his voice gets low and serious or angry it's effective (atleast to me)! I mean that guy managed to make "You're too slow!" sound playfully venomous, I love it. With Metal Sonic it's maybe a bit harder to pin down what makes his stoicism work so well. Every character in the classic era was silent to a degree, so it's hard to say his silence stands out. But that's actually I think where I'd say his lack of expressiveness is genius. He manages to mimic the look of Sonic in body and face so much more naturally than any of the other doppelgangers but still in this sleek and blank way that is just amazing. Like I stare in awe at the design of this beast. Classic Sonic is very good at providing character through expressive animation and sprites, and Metal Sonic's lack of any yet ability to still feel like he has the face of a character and not just some robot makes him intimidating.

Which brings me to their overall designs. Metal Sonic is such an enduring Sonic character despite the long list of robo-Sonics because as I was saying before, the design is just too good. It is beyond aesthetically pleasing, straight up gorgeous - which makes him so effective. He truly does feel like Sonic's equal and possibly even superior in mechanics and LOOK, he makes his mechanical and flesh peers look clunky and outdated by comparison. Sonic but polished to an unnaturally perfect finish, with those dead glowing red eyes that house none of his soul. Genius fucking design. I woefully cannot say that I think Chaos Sonic is an equal in that, but it might be physically impossible to make a better Metal Sonic, and he does come damn close! Specifically because he does take the cue of the more natural eyes (every other sonic-robo has some sort of distinctly robotic visor), but still does something new and catching with it in the bike helmet-like screen. It takes everything perfect about that aspect of Metal and builds on it for this version of him, the dark void of blank pixels is replaced with a very beautiful yet icy blue that contrasts the red eyes very well. I've seen many fan designs that use those red eyes for expression, but it is best a choice here than on the original Metal for the reasons I said above. It's so clear how much fun the animators are having with using them to emote without making it feel too natural by giving him a mouth or something. I also really like his chest rocket, it feels a lot more streamlined than Metal's, which helps with how energetic and mobile he is. Metal screams sleekness and speed, but in a very artificial way with how much his rocket takes up his design. Like I said, there's no beating Metal due to the sheer simple brilliance of his design that is totally a product of such a complex concept being perfected in the classic era. In general Sonic Prime tends to make designs a bit more complicated than what would pass as the peak of series design, but they still own in their own right. Chaos Sonic is a great example of this where he is noticeably more busy of a design than Metal but with very clear shapes and colors that make him fit in with the overall series style.

All this praising and blabbering to say. Metal Sonic is the most important thing to me, and Chaos Sonic is also the most important thing to me cause he and Metal just complement each other so fucking good. That's really what a good alternate take on a character should do! Feel fresh but still very flattering to the blueprint, explore different directions the original character could've taken to make you appreciate the execution of those aspects even more. Chaos Sonic is the best example of the show next to Nine. When I think deeper about it some of the other shatterverse versions don't go AS HARD with this, but they all feel like fun takes that do feel like they came from aspects of the original characters. Plus, that's why Nine is the hook, he is a very well developed "what if" for Tails that explores how much of a difference a friendship can make in someone's life. I also just in general really enjoy it when a story says, "Yeah, sometimes people react to issues by being antisocial as easily as they react by being docile when they don't have the space to be sensitive". It's not like... handled explicitly with that much nuance, but the nuance is there in my heart. Also damn, speaking of Nine I didn't even bring up how cool "Eggman (kinda) tricks Tails into making a Metal Sonic using his knowledge of the real Sonic" is. It's epic, and I actually really hope it's more explored, as well as Chaos Sonic in general. I feel like the writers, animators, and VA had way too much fun with him not to bring him back. I would love nothing more as a poor starving Metal Sonic stan-peasant...

[averagemafuyukinnie]

Who are your favourite units !!! :D

at this point I'm not sure if my fave fave is niigo or l/n so uhh both?

leo/need uhhh i love leo/need bc there's saki friends... i love friends who love each other more than anything as someone who loves his friends a ton. thisis also why saki is my fav character ever, she loves her friends sosososososoosososo much she loves everything sm... she experienced nothing but a hospital room for years and now she wants enjoy her life!!! you go girl!! ok enough abt saki

they're like comfort characters to bc after not talking at all for so long they wanted to be friends again and they did it!!!! their bond is literally unbreakable they can do anything together :3

idk what else to say abt leo/need so niigo. niigo. fucking niigo. they got me through a massive depressive episode last year i love everything abt them... mainly bc i see myself in all of them (look at my url) so i love how far they've come im so proud of tjem <3333 and thwy have some of the best songs in the game also

[think-it-through]

hello tumblr. here i am w another thit in ur face.

today s topic.

my mental instability, diagnoses, and other such beautiful things. but mostly, me, breaking down.

why is it so goddamn hard to get an evaluation when you need one. i need one because i am in a horrible mental state and have been in a similar state mkst of my life and then IT ALSO. heightened. so much in the past year.

one year ago i was quite happy. happiest ive ever been even. i met my partner, i was doing great at school. i had a good relationship with myself.

also one year ago in a week from now. exactly a week since today. is when my grandpa passed away and then it all went to shit!!! my health (physical) my health (mental) my relationship with myself (quaking) my trust in my ability to perform well professionally (currently invisible and yet still somehow present).

in the process of this horrible fall i found out one of my parents has previously been in a mental health hospital and the other one has a diagnosis. HA! who would've thought!!! NOT ME. because god forbid they taught me how they cope with their mental health nono.

the coping is "don't stress" and "crying won't solve anything" and "you'll grow out of it". WELL. GUESS WHAT MUM. i grew INTO IT.

phew. it feels weird to put all this in a positivity blog but it is my blog and i love it and positivity helps cus YES. LOVE PREVAILS. BUT IT DOES NOT NEGATE THE STRUGGLE AND THE BAD. it can still struggle while loved.

and i really. really. want to be better. so bad. sosososososoosososo bad. however! :( however! it has not been working. a self care shower and cutting my nails does nkt help. crying every day does not help. writing from time to time does not help. it helps. but it doesn't take away the pain in my chest, my urge to randomly do very bad things to myself, my fear of the future and my fear of everything. my fear of what people think of me when i am not mentally healthy. my fear ill be stuck in this. my fear ill be just like my father. my fear that I will end up doing all those bad things to myself. my fear that i wjll be a good for nothing living off of my parents mlney. my exhaustion with every daily task. my sleep issues.

but, most of all. nothing takes away the pain in my chest and my confidence that i am not a good person. that i am not capable. that i am abnormal. that i dont do enough. that i dont try enough. that i am a spoiled brat good for nothing fake nice person.

which? wtf what bad person would be so genuinely preoccupied and eaten the fuck up about being a good person. and not in a "performative activism" way but in a. i need to help make the fucked up world better. i need to. i have to. i want to. but am i doing enough. am i. am i? am i????

-

i.. idk! let me try and be grateful. i love my family. i love my partner. i love my friends. i did so much this year that i really thought I would not be able to do and i did it pretty damn good while also trying to not overwork myself. i. did my best. with my best intentions for myself and everyone. so. yeah. isn't that all i can do? what more do i want from myself?

i just. i think so much. so much. bit ironic since this blog is called think-it-through. but its in a sense of thinking it through when u see bad stuff. weighing in the good stuff. or idk. i didnt think that much when i did choose it.

it's going to be okay. not everything is my responsibility. nothing is in my control actually. i am safe for today no matter what decisions i take and what things i can do. sometimes(always) stuff like being sleepy, depressed anxious and procrastinating is NOT a decision. it is not. i need to give myself a break.

i have literally been growing (typo from going. but truly I've been growing) through the worst of my life in the last 12 months, back to back. whatever way i perform. it is understandable. i need to stop aiming so high. (and yet not actually specifically aiming anywhere because im scared of choosing a career choice) but. yeah. i need to stop pressuring myself to aim high in every micromanaged thing.

as someone told me "everything ure scared of, someone is profiting off of." and fuck off. fuck off. to that i say. i will grow and learn to live acting out of love only. and not fear.

i deserve love. everything deserves love. i am kind and good just because i want to be. i am okay and i am going to be ok until im not and then ill figure it out. im not going through something easy but i have support, resources and motivation to get better.

and you do too. good luck. u can do it.

[noticemetalia]

MORE TALIA FAN ART FROM WHEN SHE DRESSED UP LIKE AN E_GIRL BECAUSE SHE IS SO CUTE AND THE BEST AND I LOVE HER SO SOSOSOSOSOSOOSOSOSO MUCH I WANT HER TO KNOWTHAT SHE CAN HAVE MY LIFE AND I WOULD BE HER SLAVE IF IT MEANT I COULD BE NEAR HER

[wherethesunsails]

My dear. I just want you to know that I'm v happy we started talking and I'm v proud to call you my interwebs daughter haha

Me too! Okay so maybe I’ve got three internet mums Ily sooooooo much and I’m sosososososoosososo glad that you’re my internet mum

[omgreally]

for your procrastination: grey, orange, yellow

also I totally wandered from Tumblr to your ao3 back to Tumblr- I've been reading your Set in Stone whenever I get a chance today and (yes I also started it today and am like on ch 28??? so I'm also trying to ration these chapters but who am I kidding ima give it a reread like as soon as I'm done) I love it, so sosososososoosososo much like everything- Kit's backstory, her and Din, your smut (!!!!!😩😩!!!), Din's emotional arc, its just-

-i love it 🥺

Grey: What’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

Edit, edit, edit! Read and re-read. I re-read and edit a chapter about 3-4 times before I actually post it (and even then I make a shitton of mistakes). Basically I read my own writing until it makes me want to puke (although sometimes that doesn’t take very long!)

Orange: How many projects do you usually have going at once?

Ahaha, fuck. Usually only one. But apparently I have too many ideas right now. Send help.

Yellow: What’s a common writing tip that you mostly ignore?

I’m pretty sure I use passive voice a lot, and too many commas, and I love to dangle a participle. And I start a lot of sentences with ‘and’ or ‘but’. But sometimes it works. 

Thank you my friend your comments have been giving me life <3

[ishi-kinnie-maru]

hihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihi enough hi's my lov yes ok i want icons of Ishimaru and Chihiro ok both of them together ok ty ilysm ilysm ily ur my universe i love you sosososososoosososos much im so lucky to have u ok bye ily

babe ilym wtf are you saying ugh also yes I'll get right on them 💙💙💙

- mod ishi ✏

[vesslz]

sometimes i'm over here having a bad day and then you do something like make a cute text post or post a selfie or something and i'm so much happier because i love you and you're amazing

oh my god ???? this made MY day ??? actually like,,,,, my entire year ??? ilysm kate you are sosososososoosososo amazing and you don’t deserve bad days so i will personally fight whoever or whatever made it bad ❤️💕💙💜💚💓💗💝💖💘

[johnnyseod-remade]

your love for jun?

yes !! i mean he's such a precious soft bby idk what to do :(( he makes my heart feel so warm and soft and i wanna spend hours kissing his nose and little cheeks and making him laugh at dumb jokes-- I wanna give him little presents and all the biggest hugs in the fcking world :(( I want him to smile and make jokes with me and roll his eyes at my puns-- I love jun so so sosososososoosososos much it hurts