#so sorry to all my mcyt followers for posting so much about Harry Potter lately lol

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ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE

under the cut I'm going to include some minor versions of a few of my brain vomits for why I think these songs fit (only a few I don't want to make a massive post no one else will read lololol) so uhhhh read on if you want to see the result of two major hyperfixations colliding!!!!

Say Don't Go - Taylor Swift

first off may I say MISS SWIFT WHAT A BANGER!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU KEPT THIS FROM US!!!!!! one of the best songs on 1989 but that's a long post for another day

second, to me this is from Tonks' perspective. specifically the two moments when she feels most betrayed by remus: when he turns her down in the hospital wing in front of everyone, and when he walks out on her after finding out she's pregnant

"I've know it from the very start, we're a shot in the darkest dark"

Then we get to the chorus, which I can only imagine fits in right as Remus has walked out to go try and join Harry on his quest

"Why'd you have to lead me on, why'd you have to twist the knife, walk away and leave me bleeding? / Why'd you whisper in the dark just to leave me in the night, now your silence has me screaming" Why did you let me believe you had fallen in love with me? Why did you get married to me and make a vow that we would stick by each other no matter the trial, only to abandon me when times got hard?

The second part of the chorus says "I would stay forever if you say Don't Go". I can perfectly imagine Tonks feeling like she's ready to drop this relationship and give up. She tried for too long to get him to see reason, what's the point of continuing to fight a losing battle? But....if he came back, she would take him.

THEEEENNNNN THE BRIDGE THIS IS THE PART THAT MAKES ME THE MOST FERAL

"Why'd you have to make me want you/give me nothing back/ make me love you...I said I love you, you say nothing back" GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD

(During the pause after this line I can just imagine an edit or something of Tonks dropping that "if you weren't too busy feeling sorry for yourself you would know who I'd fallen in love with" line before the music starts back up again, a la a certain 2019 Little Women edit on tiktok that has since been deleted, but iykyk)

2. mirrorball - Taylor Swift

this one. is not a remadora song. it is just a Tonks song to me

HOWEVER

I need to talk about it I feel legitimately distraught over this

"I want you to know I'm a mirrorball, I can change everything about me to fit in"

right off the bat we know this song is about identity. not feeling like you know your "true self", and that you change based on circumstance and situation and present company

a mirrorball (a disco ball, for the uninformed) is not its own thing. it's just a warped reflection of it's environment

I imagine as both a metamorphmagus and a woman Tonks suffered from some sort of self-image issue as she was growing up. When we meet her in the series she's a self assured young woman who knows who she is and doesn't care how others perceive her, but people who become that in their adult years weren't always that way. They had to go through times of internal and

"You are not like the regulars ... drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten" as metamorphmagi are very rare, Tonks has been a subject of intrigue by everyone who has come across her. I read in a fic once that when she was little researches tried to "borrow" her from her parents in order to study her, since little is known about them and their abilities. this has since become canon to me.

Remus, to my knowledge, has

"I'm still a believer and I don't know why / I've never been a natural, all I do is try" and "I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me" I love a girl that is aware of her anxieties and need to be loved and adored and tries so hard to be effortless <3333 she's so me

I think that's why I like Tonks so much. I see a lot of myself in her

I also see a lot of myself in this song. it was my most listened to song in 2023 LOLOLOLOLLLLLLL

3. slut! - Taylor Swift

"flamingo pink" omg first line talks about her hair color 💕

this song to me fits more as an observation of the general fandom's opinion on Tonks as a character

specifically the BANGER line

"everyone wants him, that was my crime / wrong place at the right time"

ie, Tonks often gets brushed aside in favor of the favorited mlm ship, Wolfstar

and dont get me wrong. I like wolfstar! I think it's fun in the context of au's and canon divergents!

but. it's not canon and some people need to get over that LMAO

my personal "canon compliant" view of wolfstar is they were a thing towards the end of their Hogwarts years / the first war, but it all fell apart after the events of the war / Halloween, 1981. then after sirius escaped and they were both part of the order they realized it wasn't going to work out, and they had bigger fish to fry and other trauma to work through, and during this time remus starting developing a crush on Tonks (bi4bi is my head canon) but shoving it aside

anyway back to the lyrics

"in a world of boys he's a gentleman" aww <3

isn't that a great lyric? I feel like it fits remus really well

he's a gentleman :)

"you're not saying you're in love with me, but you were going to"

people hate on Tonks for being so up front about her feelings for Remus and "nagging" him into a relationship, but honestly I love her for it

other than that being a gross intentional misinterpretation of her character and the situation, in general we need more characters that wear their hearts on their sleeves and are emotionally intelligent to know how other people feel and work to make their combined desires a reality

4. ballad of a homeschooled girl - Olivia Rodrigo

ummm once again another Tonks song ❤️ im not sorry

obligatory no Tonks wasn't homeschooled BUT she went to a boarding school and some may say that was worse

but really, this song continues the theme of self-identity and trying to find out who YOU are in the context of your environment

"I broke a glass, I tripped and fell, I told secrets I shouldn't tell / I stumbled over all my words, I made it weird, made it worse" I mean come on. that is the most baseline lyric you could apply to tonks. even if you only know her character from the combined total of seven minutes she was featured in the movies, you would know this would fit her.

also I'm sorry but "talked to this hot guy, swore I was his type, guess that he was making out with boys like the whole night / everything I do is tragic, every guy I like is gay" is so funny if you're ALSO a wolfstar shipper / enjoyer (guilty as charged sorry ladies)

also this song just FEELS like something she would actually listen to. she likes more punk-rock type music and I KNOOWWWWW OR is pop and not punk-rock, but this is pop-punk-rock ok. let me have this. im making an executive decision

it's my fictional character and I get to cultivate the Spotify wrapped for her (I imagine she has the same music taste as Kat Stratford from 10 Things I Hate About You ("angry girl music of the indie rock persuasion"))

ok last one I'll talk about

5. peace - Taylor Swift

A REMUS SONG YIPEEE

this song. kills me. in the best possible way

"our coming of age has come and gone, suddenly the summer it's clear" Remus makes it very clear how much older he is than Tonks. he loves hating himself for being a cradle robber (JOKE)

summer is often used as a metaphor for adolescence, since spring is youth and infancy. he's not a young adult like Tonks, he's nearing his 40s and is very aware of it. he's left behind the "summer" of his life and is able to look back on it with clarity and perspective as he enters his "autumn", which is not something Tonks can relate to as she is still in her "summer"

"and it's just around the corner darling, 'cause it lives in me / no I could never give you peace" while the original lyric is about the negative impacts of extreme fame on personal relationships, in the context of Remus Lupin it can easily be interpreted as the underlying anxiety of his lycanthropy. His whole life revolves around it, it lives in him. he could never give her peace, as he reminds her several times

"I'd give you my sunshine, give you my best / but the rain is always gonna come if you're standing with me" he WANTS to be in a relationship with her, he WANTS to enjoy life with her, but the inevitable "rain" that comes with knowing him would ruin any happiness they could have together

"would it be enough if I could never give you peace?" is the closing line of the song, and gives a sense of ... not resignation, but something more hopeful. acquiescence? acceptance? unsure of the word, but yk what I mean. he's going to give it a chance, but only if she can accept that he won't be able to give her any peace.

would that be enough?

anyway!!!!! there's many more songs on that playlist, and I'll definitely keep adding to it, I just wanted to dump some of my recurring thoughts about a few of the songs where people could skim them if they want :)

Not everything applies in my opinion, BUT I do listen to "Lavender Haze" picturing Tonks venting about her relationship with Remus.