#so something tells me they wouldn't like that amv so much any more if they read my description-

[modgirlyreposts-revamped]

I find it so funny how someone that was complaining under my videos that have ShowTime in them about how I ship Caine x Pomni also left a positive comment under my Angel With a Shotgun AMV, like you do realize I was implying that Kinger is in a polyamorous relationship with everyone in that last verse right-

[pbaintthetb]

Invincible s2e5

It's here, it's here!! Some of my thoughts. Spoilers ahead

"He's never on the hook for the lives he destroys. Just leaves it for everyone else to clean up. Again and again." -> incredible

Brothers eh!! and also Debbie saying mark must get his nobility/reluctance to abandon people from her side ;-)))), especially since this is like one of if not the only time mark is compared to his mum and not his dad. (Whether it's a you're nothing like you're dad, you will be your dad, your dad doesn't influence my view on you)

debbie taking time off work ot look after mark's brother just after they all said they wer so glad she was back :-(( I get that she priortises mark's education though

oop the donald sub plot, forgot about that but now Im hella intrigued again, he a cyberman, though he's the six million dollar man to hear Cecil tell it (we can rebuild him...)

william boxed up mark's stuff.... oof that must have been rough (for william i mean, assuming he's dead)

cecil stfu and stop being a creeper- although if he wasn't like that he wouldn't be cecil, his job is to be a bastard in order to do what he deems necessary

"He's an alien. We're more qualified to take care of him."- very ominous very uncomfortable, glad to see mark isn't having any of it but still. actually ingernal loving mark's convo with cecil

Cecil's little side eye at the end, he's scared ohohoh. and that petty "im sureyour mum will love ooking after her ex's kid" like uh, no but she said she'll do it for mark and otherwise mark will do it so so?

Mark and Amber are cool, and yeah it's nice to see him listening to her problems even if maybe it's revealing that uh... yeah he can't be there for her and that's complicated (as mark said)

Rudy and monster girl is intersing, like i get why she's pissed and i get where he's coming from

DECEASED they all knew he was from mars.Almost disappointed because him desperately trying to be human was hilarious but also this reveal was the funniest fucking thing so, even his reveal felt so unhuman

also how noble and excited the abckstory is until the awkard... so I sort of tried to kill him but I didn't even do that right and now he's coming to earth to kill us all possessed by a hive creature

"No, before, I was lying. Now I'm telling the truth. It's very different." hilarious, might steal that.

Rex, gonna go OOC real quick, then pan to Atom Eve AMV... iconic, I wonder what this could mean /s

Ok I was like, stop commenting on everything but like Rex is a prick but the absolute funniest, saying that maybe Eve's parents WANT her to be abducted because they still haven't fixed her broken window lock killed me

also more seriously actually the familiarity with which they talk and rex moves around eve's room (the l atter would be weird if it weren't so obvious eve could make him stop if she wanted) is great? Because yeah they dated for a while, like they should know each other even if they don't get on anymore and it's great to see the evidence of that Similarly the fact taht Eve reveals at teh end she knew rex just wanted something but that she also does think he genuinely helped her see that she helps people

Man, mark :-( spread too thin, and he's realising it but what is the way out?? Butter spread over too much bread and you can't just put it back in the tin

Shapesmith's intonation and diction and also just his timing of what he says is, mwah, chefs kiss, incredibel

when is the shapesmith show coming, we've already had "Allan"???

was gonna say "nice fight scenes" then kate happened, and i mean they're still good but oh fuck holy shit oh god hog do

.um. well post the homeward guardians fight all I have to say is that it seems that Rex is ranking guardian after all.

Or um, them some cliff hangers amirite, sure do hope everybody is fine

but no did like Rex's last line of the episode and also King lizard's smarmy evil pragmatism ooh very nice.

[user-needs-new-hyperfixation]

Hello, can I ask from both this ask game :

https://www.tumblr.com/threecheersforinking/677824836625694720/anime-ask-game?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/rafael-silva/90297624190/send-me-a-fandom?source=share

For series : Moriarty the Patriot and Tian Guan Ci Fu....

Thanks ⭐

First One, MtP version:

Send me an anime (preferably one I’ve seen) and I’ll tell you my

Favorite Character: William or Albert depending on the day

Favorite Arc/Episode/Scene: Chapter 67. Just Chapter 67. I love it so dearly.

Character I Think is Underrated: Mycroft I guess?

Character I Think is Overrated: uhhhhh I'm personally kind of meh about Moran? I don't dislike him I just don't think about him much? The playing card thing with William is very sweet though.

Favorite Ship/Pairing: Sherliam, obvs, followed very closely by Mycal.

Something I Love About the Show/Movie: the trajectory towards hope. It could so easily have been a tragedy, but having suicidal characters whose arc could have very "naturally" concluded in their deaths instead live and push forward? Just makes me very happy.

First One, TGCF version:

Send me an anime (preferably one I’ve seen) and I’ll tell you my

Favorite Character: I love both of the mains but I think Hua Cheng might have the tiniest fractional lead? I dunno. Both of Hualian lol.

Favorite Arc/Episode/Scene: I'm just a sap for all the romantic bits, but I especially love "Only after having met you did I rediscover that it's such a simple thing to be happy." More a favourite line I suppose haha! But that just sticks with me so much.

Character I Think is Underrated: Qi Rong. I love that little gremlin. He's terrible and he makes me cackle.

Character I Think is Overrated: I'm always a little puzzled by fic and stuff about Shi Wudu. No hate, he just didn't really leave an impression on me at all.

Favorite Ship/Pairing: Hualian. I am not a very original person 😂

Something I Love About the Show/Movie: (I realize I keep referring to the book here rather than the existing donghua. Whoops. 😅) I am really just in this one for the romance. Romance for romance's sake. It's lovely and I love it. But also all those out of pocket bits like "the heavenly city is a giant transformer that does battle with a huge statue of the mc powered by true love's kiss and wielding a sword made out of several of his acquaintances" are so funny.

Second One, MtP version:

The first character I first fell in love with: William

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now:  Sherlock lmao

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: In more recent times within the fandom it seems Milverton has become something of a dark horse fave and I just. I do not get it. But glad y'all are having fun.

The character I love that everyone else hates: I dunno?? I've repeatedly turned Mycroft into some kind of supernaturally perfect daddy dom Gary Stu, which people could justifiably hate, but I seem to have successfully found my audience for that so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: Huh. Don't think I have any of these.

The character I would totally smooch: Bond. He just seems like he'd be really great for a quick friendly smooch and wouldn't make this whole self-insert scenario weird and complicated 😂 

The character I’d want to be like: Also Bond, actually. He's got this specific kind friendly ease and confidence I would like to have

The character I’d slap:  I feel like Moran needs a friendly slap now and again just to keep him humble lmao

A pairing that I love: Just to branch off from the usual Sherliam and Mycal answer, I also like Bond/Hudson

A pairing that I despise: I guess the closest I come would be Milverton/Ruskin?? But even then it's like. I don't really put energy into despising ships I don't like, I just avoid them and enjoy the things I do like.

Second One, TGCF version:

The first character I first fell in love with:  I fell in love with Hualian at the same time, when an amv happened across my youtube dash that heavily featured the scene of them walking through the bloody forest in the wedding clothes with the umbrella. The gothic fairytale romance of it all enchanted me right from the get-go.

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now:  Yin Yu maybe? I don't spend a lot of time thinking about him but when I do I'm immensely fond of him.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: I like Mu Qing but I'm nowhere near as invested in him as a lot of people seem to be.

The character I love that everyone else hates: Qi Rong maybe kinda?

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: Again, idk lol

The character I would totally smooch: Yushi Huang

The character I’d want to be like: Hua Cheng.

The character I’d slap: Pei Ming just cuz that's basically what he's there for lmao

A pairing that I love: side-stepping the obvious again, I quite like the thought of Fenglian having a very innocent but meaningful crush on each other as teenagers

A pairing that I despise: again, wouldn't quite say "despise" but I am baffled by Qi Rong/Lang Qianqiu

[mrsmarymorstan]

Does it mean you did not follow JJK that have one of the most tragic/romantic relationship between Gojo and Geto? That did not have any heterosexual explanation between their bond.

Ah! I do watch it, but I don't read the manga and I watch in Dub due to my disabilities so I'm not EXACTLY up-to-date the same as others are.

I will agree, that Gojo/Geto are an excellent couple and I have been enjoying the angst between them this series!

However, I'm just not THAT big a fan of JJK because:

1) The animation is very much on the side of "work smarter not harder" with a lot of repetition of fight choreography. This wouldn't be a problem so much if it wasn't that it was an ACTION series! I want cool ass fight scenes not something that's just the same thing each and every week. This is because Mappa have some of the WORST working conditions in the industry (which is saying something!) so I do not blame the team at all, but it does impact my enjoyment of the series.

2) It was advertised to me as something new and revolutionary! It had never been done before! It was THE BEST SERIES TO EVER EXIST EVER!!!! And you know what I saw? A combination of every Shonen Trope that has ever come before. An orphan boy eats a body part of a famous person and gains their magic powers but is also now possessed by them, and so he attends special magic ninja school with a sassy brunette girl and an emo boy from a powerful family. His mentor is a white haired man with his eyes covered who the whole fandom thinks is mega hot. Like, this has been done before. So many times. If it had been sold to me as it was, I might enjoy it more! But no. It's not at all revolutionary. They also tried to sell the movie as a love story? And I am sorry if your main couple do not have enough scenes together to fill out a Taylor Swift AMV then you have FAILED at telling a love story!

You're right Anon, Geto and Gojo are by faaaaaaar a better example of a tragic love story than Yuta and Rika!

3) Sorry I have read 90s Superhero Comics you cannot shock or surprise me with the death of a female character. My fridge is full thanks. I don't need anymore girls in there, k thanks.

Like I said, I do watch it, and I can see why it's so popular! I'm just not reading the manga so I am not Up To Date, and the treatment of female characters is so much better in Blue Exorcist and Akane Banashi that NATURALLY those are where I'm gonna be drawn to on the ol' Shonen Jump App!

But hey, if you have Action Shonen series that never fridge their female characters and give them solid independent arcs and character development then please! Let me know!

Anyone who recommendeds MHA is wrong though dear FUCKING GOD I had to stop reading because of how COLD it was getting with all them fridges out!

[gnomeniche]

Alright so first of all, your character playlists are top-tier and I absolutely love all your analyses of the show, they're so well thought-out and just a joy to read.

I saw that your birdman playlist had The Astronomer from Ghost Quartet (you have impeccable taste, I've gotta say) and it got me thinking about the rest of the musical as it could align with dmhis

Specifically The Camera Shop, with Rose and Pearl fitting in really well with Yellow and Lesley.

Something about a Knowing™ character speaking over soft piano music to a well meaning yet extremely confused Trapped In the Narrative™ character, the creepy storytelling and over familiarity where you can tell that they Remember previous cycles in a way the other can only barely comprehend, the way that mix of love and fear and anger morphs from Kindly and Inviting Older Lady to outright anger and yelling, the way that even though she seems all powerful she's actually just as much a victim to the narrative... Idk man it's just got all the right vibes

Also "I'm a little confused, and more than a little frightened" "It's okay my dear, this is a circular story"

And "I don't believe any of this!" "Don't you REMEMBER?"

I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on it, since (if you'd believe it) it's a bit hard to find that crossover between dmhis and Ghost Quartet fans 😂 And you've always got the best takes on this kind of stuff

i think it's a shame that it's hard to find a crossover between dhmis fans and ghost quartet fans! it is my professional opinion that all dhmis fans should experience ghost quartet (a live recording is free on youtube! and the soundtrack is on spotify!).

the tones of ghost quartet and dhmis are very different, but if you love mind-bending storytelling, deciphering a very densely layered story that works on a very thematic level, the use of memory loss and residual memories and shifting roles that characters must inhabit, and the themes of a small group of people who fundamentally love each other trapped in a vicious cycle of narrative and character flaws that complicates that, you will love ghost quartet. also the music is so good. just be ready to give it multiple listens and make sure to have the genius lyrics and the wikipedia summary open on your first try. (there's also a ton of literature references in ghost quartet but i don't think you necessarily Need to know them. i just like them bc i'm a literature nerd.)

okay now that the shilling is over: i have thought of songs from ghost quartet in a dhmis character context! i haven't thought of The Camera Shop yet, but you're so right that it works well for yellow and lesley. the vibes are the same.

(more under the cut bc wow this got long)

i do have The Astronomer on the duck playlist bc of the contradictory feelings of curiosity but sheer incuriousness due to fear of the unknown + self-importance and self-hatred because you know you wouldn't dare to be all you wish to be, and i think Starchild might also work for him because of that need for importance and control in an uncaring world?

Tango Dancer gives me Some Kind Of Feelings about red (something about "but myself didn't have time for me / didn't have time for anyone so used up"). also something something The Telescope fluffybird ("i love the way you see the world / i love the way your soul sings / i wish that i could sing like you / i wish that i could feel things").

the very tired and regretful vibes of all the pearl characters are very auhghgh. something about remembering that you've lived through a cycle when nobody else does or when the other one who could cannot see past her own fury when she does remember. hits that spot for all the dhmis characters whenever they get those bits and pieces back.

on a lighter side i love the "actor" songs for them too. Any Kind Of Dead Person as a silly but slightly sinister duck song is super fun. i freely admit that i have done amvs in my head for Four Friends many times. lesley is brent's verse, red is brittain's verse, yellow is dave's verse, and duck is gelsey's verse. the gang just chills and drinks bc lesley is feeling sentimental and tired today.

[azuregold]

tunnels directly into your inbox from the nether, hoping for a bite from every single one of those sweet, sweet fanfiction questions :> :v

🎶- If your fanfiction were to be turned into a MEP, Animatic or AMV, what song would it be based around?

I…honestly don't know, haha. ^^;

🎀- What’s the most common type of fic you write? Romance? Tragedy? Rewrites?

Supernatural-flavored friendship fic, I guess? :P

📚- What media have you written the most fanfiction for?

One Piece! Since it's the only thing I've written fic for, haha.

✍- Have you finished a complete fanfiction story before? If so, what?

On the Misty Shore and From Mist and Ashes (plus the side stories for them, I guess). I'm still hoping to do another story in that universe some day, but what's there still counts as complete. I'm sooo close to being able to add Dissonant Echoes to this list, but chapter 15…please let me write it soon…

✨- Which fanfiction are you most proud of and why?

I'm proud of all my fic for different reasons, and it's hard to say that any one of them is most. OtMS for being my first real fic and the first thing I ever finished? FMaA for being the longest thing I've ever written, the first time I got to share a character I made with the world, and for actually finishing it? Dissonant Echoes for managing to write most of it while going through some of the most difficult times of my life?

IDK, all of them, I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

💗- If you were purely making a fic for yourself, without fear of what other readers would think about it, what would you write?

Mostly what I'm writing now, I think? Except probably with less worrying about whether everything makes sense, and with even more implausible excuses for Zoro to get dragged into supernatural happenings. :P

📺- What media (Show/Movie/Game) would you like to write fanfiction for, but haven’t yet?

So many. Sooo many. I wish I were one of those people who can write at least a little something for every fandom they pass through. I guess especially for things that either never get much of a fandom, or where it feels like all the fic is centered around 1 – 2 ships or tropes so if you aren't interested in that, there's nothing. Deca-Dence comes to mind.

Or something in one of the more popular fandoms I like so I have a better chance of finding more people who like the same kinds of things I do. >.>

💚- What do you like most about your writing style?

This is hard, haha. I'm not sure I can think of a specific thing I like about my writing style. Which doesn't mean I don't like my writing, I just…can't pick out any specifics.

🖤- What do you hate most about your writing style?

I wish I was better at telling a story from a character's point of view. I spend a lot of time (maybe too much, sometimes) having characters think about things in their head, but when I'm describing a setting, or narrating a sequence of events, it often feels like it's being done by a general narrator, not the character who viewpoint we're supposedly in. I'll use words that character wouldn't use (or not use words they would use), I'll forget to show their reaction to something they should definitely have reacted to, etc…the narration just doesn't feel like them enough, you know? Like it could be any of them, or none of them, until I mention a name. I'm trying to get better about it, but…it's hard.

👎- What is something you won’t ever write about?

Smut is the easy answer here. There's a chance romance may show up in a fic I write someday, and there are plenty of tropes I dislike that I could still see myself writing if the right idea came along, but I don't think anything (short of, like, a million-dollar bribe) would ever make me even attempt a sex scene that wasn't just fade-to-black.

🌸- Ever written ocs in your fanfiction? (Not minor side ones)

Yes, and I love them. ^_^ Uh…some more than others. *cough*

👭- Have you ever done a writing/story collab? If not, who would you love to write a story with?

I'm not sure I could ever collab with someone. It just doesn't seem like something that would work for me. If I ever tried, it would have to be with someone I was already friends with and comfortable talking to.

💻- Do you want on the computer, phone or another device?

(Write, I'm assuming…) Computer. I've gotten better at writing on the phone, but there's no way I could put up with writing an entire fanfic that way, especially if it was anything more than a short oneshot. I already can't type fast enough to keep up with my brain once it finally figures out what to say. Trying to do it on a phone would be infinitely worse. I'd either forget how I wanted the end of the sentence to go by the time I was done with the beginning, or I'd accidentally every other word and have to fix a ton of them later. (One of my most frequent issues is forgetting that I haven't typed the ending of a negative word yet because my mind's already five words ahead, so instead of "I can't do that", I'll write "I can do that", or "Here's you book" instead of "Here's your book", etc, and if I don't catch it after, it messes up the whole thing. And that's on a computer, where my typing is much faster than on a phone.)

🎨- If you could ask for any kind of fanart for a certain fic or fic scene, what would it be?

Any of them? Fanart is a wonderful gift and I would be thrilled with anything the artist was inspired to do. But if I had to pick, maybe:

– The scene from OtMS where Luffy sees ghost!Zoro for the first time, after he wakes up on Sunny

– From FMaA, one of the scenes between Travis and Zoro (either the fight at the museum or the confrontation on the plane) or Travis and Luffy (the gum-gum reveal, their fight, Luffy carrying Travis over his shoulder)

– From FMaA, the part where Zoro's hurt and almost disappearing and they're all gathered around him listening to Usopp tell stories

– From DE, the part where Zoro's crying in Brook's arms

😜- Do you put any references in your fanfictions? (E.g Maybe a quote from another series or mentioning a character from another show.)

I…can't think of anything right now?

🌍- Written any crossover fics? If not, what would you write for a crossover fic?

I desperately want to write a BnHA/Super Powereds crossover. Either:

– Something plotty (with plenty of scenes between Vince and Izuku because I want to see my faves interact), or

– A character-focused oneshot with a meeting between Aizawa and Dean Blaine (maybe one of them’s on a trip and they run into each other at a bar or something?) where they somehow manage to chat about the relatable parts of their lives (teaching, working as a hero, their power-erasing abilities, their class(es) full of problem children, etc) without actually spilling their life stories to a random stranger because neither of them is stupid or unprofessional enough to do something like that.

Sadly, no muse has appeared for any of it, and so those fics remain unwritten. The second one especially is pretty far outside my writing experience and I'm not sure I could pull it off. Which is a shame, because it deserves to exist.

🤘- Ever written self-insert characters, or at least referenced yourself in a story?

Not directly, but I've definitely given characters issues or pieces of personality that I relate to very strongly. Like the way Travis gets angry to try to cover when he's embarrassed/makes a mistake, or (to an extent) the way Zoro feels about the Straw Hats in DE.

💭- Any fanfiction ideas you’re not sure on writing about?

All of them. I'm never sure, haha. But especially anything that either seems like a huge epic project I'm not sure I want to commit to (either in length of the fic or in the amount of research it would need), or something that's very different from the sort of thing I usually write, so I'm not sure I'd be able to write it well enough to be satisfied.

❄- (Asker can ask any question they’ve made up)

(insert invisible answer to invisible question here :P)

Thanks, this was fun! ^_^

[kaelin-cherise]

So...

I had the sudden urge to look something up, a nagging. According to my mother, I was "misdiagnosed" as autistic due to a prenatal screening. 18 years later and I find out, there was a one point margin of error that made it impossible to truly tell. (MAYBE BECAUSE I WASNT BORN YET? YATHINKOFTHAT?)

I took an online test to find out that after 18 years, I could actually have ONE WORD to describe my social ineptness, my awkwardness, my weirdness- dont get me wrong, I love it, but seriously, I need like an entire dictionary to describe why I cant make friends.

The further I dived into research and into my past. It made sense. I kept looking at lists of traits, writing down the ones that fit me and I filled up an entire sheet of notebook paper in less than an hour with all these little things that were signs.

It made a lot of sense. People always seemed so weird; I couldnt make people out. I had to lump them into categories in my mind JUST to feel at peace with myself. I fumbled for why I didn't understand certain things, or how people seemed so caught up on things I LITERALLY just heard about as if it happened yesterday. Everyone always seemed so... connected... and I was pushed out of the loop. Or they purposely pushed me out because... they took one look at me and thought I was weird? I don't know?

Okay first, I do, do that thing where someone deadpans when they tell a "joke" and I literally can't tell if they were joking, being serious, being sarcastic, none of the above? And I'm waiting for a sign from someone else to know what they thought- and the person who told me the "joke" tells me to laugh. I've always been like that. A stick in the mud or something.

I liked different things from kids my age- though I mostly blame that on the area I grew up in (wasn't very diverse) but also my family- I was open-minded. I was pretty smart, but I was shy and quiet, and would rather hide from social interaction. Teachers were nice, kids my own age FRIGHTENED me. They were loud. I couldnt understand why they couldn't be quiet, or sit down, or be quiet... it seemed so simple to me? But I could make a friend or two... to survive.

For the longest time I was a huge fan of sonic despite not owning or playing much- if any- of the games. That fandom carried me for YEARS. I can still find most of the old AMVs I used to watch when I was in elementary school (and I watched the same like 7 everyday for hours). Now I'll tell you that special fandom is Cardcaptor Sakura or Sailor Moon. I can talk your ear off for HOURS if you get me started. (Infodumping~)

As I got older, I got stressed. The little things people did got more infuriating, they seemed uncontrollable to literally everyone. Unless it was answering a question, the only thing the entire class would hear out of me would be "be quiet" when it got too loud. As I got older, sounds became louder. I found myself covering my ears when a fire alarm went off. Crashes and bangs scare me more than usual, even if I expect some noise because I dropped it. Light sensitivity has also been a very random occurrence.

But except for meltdowns, I'm extremely high functioning. And that's why it's taken so long to figure it out. Everything in my life had an excuse. I wasn't really raised in a neighborhood so I didn't have kids around my age all the time. And when I interacted with them, I was just "shy." I didn't have any major stims outside of comfort objects (blankets, stuffed animals) that were perfectly acceptable for someone my age. So to most, I was just a highly and sometimes over-emotional kid who just didn't understand social interaction but was good in school. I could hide behind this wall of what I picked up from other kids and media and pretend I understood (Or hide, I like "hide" better). But even a major sign like inappropriate laughter (again, I was just told and figured I was a giggly kid), or burnout/meltdowns I was just thought of as... normal. Weird, but neurotypical.

But I'm not.

So, I told my mom.

And she was cool with it. In fact, most of our family shows a few traits of being autistic.

She added more research to the list of things we need to do (Because College) and manage. Finding major stressors outside of school that could cause meltdowns, listing my traits. I took it upon myself to even get a stim necklace because I have a naughty habit of chewing my lip (better than biting my nails), and I need to get a new fidget cube, because GEARS ARE RELAXING and button clicking is nicer than clicking pens.

I also need to find some sort of forum/chat post for freshman for the college I applied to so I could possibly make friends. Plus finding an upperclassman or someone who wouldn't mind keeping an eye on me while I adjust to being out of my hometown, away from family and friends, who would also keep me out of trouble.

That also means getting an official diagnosis. My mother plans to make an appointment for me soon, so wish me luck.

So, I'm self diagnosed, with research and a test to prove how and why. With an official diagnosis on the way. It's kind of nice to, now, be able to summarize everything with a quick word and few smaller explanations.

I'm autistic.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #58

very weird formatting here, don’t know why??  please pardon it.

have you ever been involved in a custody battle before?  

i don't really know??  supposedly they were supposed to have split-custody, but idk what happened, because dad got no rights to us?

have you ever made out in a movie theater before?  

nah man, i'm there to watch a movie.

have you ever met anyone who was overly addicted to a computer game?  

been there, done that.

do you enjoy shopping with the opposite sex?  

sure, i guess.  like when jason and i were dating, i liked hearing his opinions on my clothes.  not because his opinion would dictate my wardrobe, but because i respected his outlook on what i wore and it just made me feel better about certain things.

have you ever been fingered, or have you ever fingered someone?  

hey, when you're abstinent, you find loopholes. :P

what's your opinion on beards?  

i tend to like shorter ones or goatees.

do you like orange juice with or without pulp?  

I CANNOT DRINK PULP NO.  funny story, supposedly when i was a kid, i called the pulp in juice "nipples"???  the fuck, brittany????

do you want to be cremated or buried when you die?  

i actually do not know.  i think i'd rather be buried in a recyclable box so i could be planted beneath a weeping willow or cherry blossom tree.

have you ever named a bug in your house and thought of it as a pet?  

lmao no but to be cute once i found a teeny-tiny spider floating in buffalo wild wings and played with it and named it in front of jason.  i was so hyper and squeally and i'm pretty sure that's when jason liked me the most.

what’s the theme of the calendar that’s closest to you?  

meerkats!!

have you ever gotten kicked out of a restaurant?  

no.

have you ever flashed anyone?  

i don't think i have.  small possibility i have to jason, but i doubt it.

have you ever been bitten by a dog?  

nope.  well, my own dog nipped me very gently once, because i was about to beat the shit out of him for accidentally killing a kitten.  i'm glad he nipped me though, because i ended up on the floor sobbing instead of hitting him.

have you ever left a note in someone’s mailbox?  

that's illegal, no.

what’s your favorite pokemon? (you know you have one)  

ninetales

are tomatoes the best food in the world?  

definitely not.  the only time i've ever liked a tomato period is when they were grown from colleen's garden.

the person you love/like, do they have any pets?  

a fatass beagle named ginger

have you ever attempted the infamous the impossible quiz?  

hell no, i don't have that patience.

you know those people with the multi-colored hair? what do you think?  

they're quite cooler than me.

did you ever pronounce spaghetti as “pasghetti”?  

omg yes!!

have you ever kissed underneath the stars?  

sure have.

what would your dream engagement ring look like?  

first let it be clear i don't really care what ring my husband chooses, but i do have preferences.  i think i want my engagement ring to be a dragon's breath opal, and my wedding ring to be rose gold.

if you post videos on youtube, what are they normally of (ex. tutorials, comedy, etc.)?  

ever heard of, like, an amv/gmv?  i make stuff like that with various media.

what age did you start getting acne?  

i'm not sure

will you go to your high school reunion?  

if i'm with jason, maybe.  if i'm not, hell no, because i don't want the memories.

if someone you knew slept around, would you judge them?  

i wouldn't judge them, i'd just feel disappointed with them.

the first person you were in a relationship with, do you still care about them?  

the first person i ever "dated" was this kid aaron, but we were only in the 7th grade and i never had any true, sexual feelings towards him, and we never had what i consider a valid, romantic relationship.  but i'll use him in this question.  i care about him as an acquaintance, but that's literally it.

has anyone ever sang to you?  

yeah.

who was your childhood crush?  

idk, i never really had a serious crush on anyone as a kid.  i had those puppy-love emotions, but never were they valid.  i "liked" various people... like timothy, dylan, aaron, i'm sure i'm forgetting others...

do you think it’s right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced?  

... yeah, why not???

kiss on the first date?  

eh, highly dubious.

have you ever thought you liked someone, and then found out that you really didn’t?  

juan, yeah.  he claims i broke his heart, but i fail to believe that.  we "dated" less than 24 hours.  we were nothing but friends before then.  he knew only minor things about me.  maybe he was merely in love with my face, but he definitely wasn't with me.  i'm well aware he's either lying (which he's proven to do) or exaggerating.

would you call your last relationship a mistake?  

never.

have you ever been asked out over text message?  

omg jason did and my older sister told me we couldn't be truly dating because of it.

would you ever take up a job in photography?  

that's exactly what i want to do.

someone texts you calling you a skank. what do you reply?  

do i know this person?  if i don't and it's just some random number, i'd probably just text back, "only for you, babe" or something like that.

are you someone who is afraid of clowns? what makes you fear them?  

no.  i just don't find them scary at all.

recommend a funny comedian to me:  

john pinette makes me wheeze.

do you believe the holocaust happened?  

i can't even believe people are still denying this shit.

did you like to collect frogspawn as a kid?  

yep, everytime we went fishing i did!

ever sleep on the floor with the person you like?  

yep.  j and i slept on a palet on the living room floor once, don't remember why...  i remember he had "arrow" playing WAY TOO FUCKING LOUD that night and i wanted to turn it down, but didn't know where the remote was so suffered all night lol.

have you ever rode around in the bed of a pick up truck?  

once or twice, yeah.

does the whole emo label thing bother you? have you ever been called emo?  

the misconception of the label bothers me.  "emo" means "emotional," not "we all cut ourselves and sob daily."  yes, i've been called emo many times.

do you like coyotes?  

they're cute, sure.

what kind of car does your most recent ex drive?  

i don't know what kind of car, i just know it's dark blue.  i'm not good with car names.

have you ever been fired from a job?  

i have not.

what financial class are you?  

pretty sure we're lower class.

do you like sprinkles on your ice cream?  

no, i don't like sprinkles on anything.

do you know how much you weighed at birth? how much?  

seven-something pounds.

have you ever made out on a couch?  

more than once.

are you desperate for things to change?  

i'm beyond desperate, dollface.

do you live close to the person you like?  

seven minutes away.

when’s the last time someone of the opposite sex told you they miss you?  

juan, a month or whatever ago...

anyone jealous of you or anything you have?  

no way in hell anyone is rightfully jealous of me.

has anyone told you they don’t ever want to lose you?  

yeah... yet he's the one that left me???

was today a good one?  

no, honestly.  this morning wasn't necessarily bad, just... y'know.  it always goes downhill.

do you talk in your sleep?  

sometimes, yes.

is it awkward when you run into your ex?  

we've never run into each other, thank god.  i refuse to go into his place of work too, so.

does it bother you when people smoke around you?  

yes, it does.

were you anyone’s first kiss?  

no, i was not.

who is someone you’ll always hate?  

it's so sad, knowing that i won't hate ashley anymore if jason and her just broke up.  but while they're together, i fucking despise her.  i have tried to stop myself, and i can't.  as for rachel, i don't really know if what i feel for her is hatred anymore.  i know i dislike her and i will forever for being the reason jason self-mutilated, but i don't know if it's still hatred.

do you lie a lot?  

personally, i think everyone lies quite a bit.

what do you plan on doing with the rest of your life?  

having a happy family... never working a day in my life while still being employed... traveling... but i'm aware that won't happen, not for me.

ever considered suicide? if so, did you try to commit suicide?  

yes and yes.  well, i never got to the point where i could actually endeavor suicide, but i'd chosen and dedicated myself to the decision.  first i was going to cut... somewhere, idk where, to hell with my shaving razor, but jason grabbed me and dragged me to the ground.  then a second time, i was going to slit my throat with a kitchen knife, but when mom saw me running towards the kitchen with what was going on, she snatched me.  i wish they'd never fucking stopped me.

have you ever painted something and been impressed by it?  

yeah, actually.

have you ever had a deadly illness?  

look me in the eye and tell me depression isn't a deadly disease.

who is the most interesting person you know?  

jason.  he was one in a billion.

what is your favorite body part on the opposite sex?  

i have a massive thing for back muscles, even if they're only very subtle.

have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting or any kind of abuse at home?  

divorce and parents fighting, yeah.  abuse, no.

have you ever lost someone to death? if so, how many?  

not anyone close, no.  sometimes i wish he'd died instead, as immensely fucked up as that sounds.  i've come to the realization that loss through heartbreak's gotta be worse, because that person is still alive.  that person is still breathing.  but they just don't want you.

have you gone through a lot emotionally growing up?  

i know damned well i have.

are you touchy feely?  

through my relationship with j, i found i was.  not entirely sexually, either.  i just liked proximity to him and always wanted to hold his hand, have my hand on his chest when i slept, etc.  he really had to remind me other urges to touch him were okay, though, because i was very shy with my physical actions.  i was so afraid of doing something "god wouldn't like" but way more importantly, that jason wouldn't appreciate.  i mean christ, it took literally like a thirty minute conversation to get me to even look at certain parts of him because i was afraid of being a bad christian.  he got me to be more comfortable with time though, and he was so patient with me...  he taught me so much about myself.  i fucking miss him.  jesus christ what ever was the question.  basically yeah, i can be touchy-feely.

do you like to be in control in a relationship?  

no.  in general, i'm very submissive, but i know how to make my point, let's put it that way.  i'm not a dog you can just kick around, but i don't prefer to be dominant, no.

do you throw out your assignments once you’ve gotten them back?  

it depends on the assignment.

have you ever jumped off a high dive into a pool?  

no.  i've been all the way up there, but i was too scared to jump.

did you and your last ex have an amazing relationship?  

fuck yes we did.  i was a depressed mess and i needed him a lot, but that doesn't mean it wasn't amazing as hell.

how did you notice the last person you kissed?  

he walked up to me, that's how i noticed him.

why will/won’t you and your ex get back together?  

because he doesn't fucking want me.

are you welcome at the last person you kissed house?  

probably not.

have you ever watched someone being carried into an ambulance?  

my sister, yes.

have you ever showered with a member of the opposite sex?  

i haven't, and don't want to.

has a boyfriend/girlfriend ever given you a stuffed animal?  

he has.

did you graduate high school a virgin?  

i did.

are you honestly happy with yourself?  

um, not in the least.  i'm a fucking failure.  i just decided to drop out of college in interest of my mental health too, so now i only feel less about myself than i did already.

would you rather have a chocolate or strawberry cake for your birthday? 

chocolate, strawberry cake is gross.

do you get lonely easily?  

fucking yes.

have you ever tried wine?  

i actually still remember from when i was young in the catholic church and we do the last supper thing, whatever it's called, when we would have a very small sip of wine; i remember the taste, and it was gross.

would you be excited or annoyed if your favorite book was being made into a movie?  

both my favorite books were made into movies.  seen one, not the other.

do you need structure in your life or do you prefer to just go with the flow?  

give.  me.  structure.

post a picture of you from one year ago.

boy, didn’t i look healthy.  just a fucking year ago.

do your parents swear?   dad does freely.  mom won't say "fuck" unless she's really pissed. have you ever written a fan letter? if so, who was it to and did you receive a response?   ummm i don't think so. what trait(s) would you not want your children to inherit from you?   my depression.  my anxiety.  my pessimism.  my lack of independence.  do i need to continue? are you a fast talker? do people have a hard time keeping up with you in conversation?   i don't know if i talk quickly in normal conversation, but i talk very quickly when i'm angry or passionate. have you ever dated someone that wanted to change you? how so?   the love of my fucking life left me because i was a depressed fuck, so he obviously wanted that changed. when on youtube, what types of videos do you mainly watch?   let's plays, mainly.  i watch other stuff too, though. where would you like to be in 5 years?   most importantly, i want my mental illnesses under control.  two, i want a steady job.  three, i at least... hope i'm with someone i really love, and he really loves me. what was the experience that impacted you the most in your life?   jason leaving me.  it sent me to multiple mental hospitals, and the mental scar is still rampant and festering.  my sanity is atrophying so agonizingly slowly, but steadily.  i sincerely don't even feel that "sane" defines me accurately anymore.  jason leaving just did so.  fucking.  much to me.  it affected me mentally and physically, and it's indirectly affecting the people i care about, too.  i'm perfectly aware i'm only 20, but don't fucking tell me it didn't ruin my life for now.  because boy, do i wish someone else could feel what i feel. what type of relationship did you have with your parents?   my mom is my crutch.  my dad cares, but he really doesn't understand me. where do you go when you need some inspiration?   inspiration for...? which fictional character do you believe is the most like yourself?   the only person that comes to mind immediately is heather mason from sh3. who is your role model?   jason. what was your favorite romantic moment and why?   slow-dancing with jason in the headlights of his old truck in my front yard to "stairway to heaven" by led zeppelin.  i don't need to explain that. i assume you've done drugs? what have you done?   i've actually never done drugs. was the last person you texted a hottie?   she's pretty, yes. have you ever felt replaced?   i have been replaced, and i'm sure he's happy about it, as he can finally fuck somebody and sleep peacefully at night instead of staying awake with me all night while i have a panic attack. do you know how to let go?   nope. is there anyone that you care more about than yourself?   jason, easily. if someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say?   i want jason. has a girl ever stayed up with you all night? a guy?   both have. ever been called a bitch?   yup. do you like being choked by a sexual partner?   heavily, heeeell no.  even to a medium degree, i wouldn't like it.  yes, i know he comes up in everything, but later in our relationship, jason would occasionally grab my neck while kissing me and squeeze it like really gently, and i did like that.  we were both rather submissive people, so when he did something i'd consider a bit more domineering, i generally liked it. have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?   almost every song i come across reminds me of him one way or another. do you ever think what if?   WELCOME TO MY LIFE are you going to have a baby by the time you’re 18?   i'm about to be 21, and i never had a baby that early because i have respect for my fucking body. are you currently fighting with someone?   we're settling down a bit, but i guess? are there any names that you don’t like because you once knew someone with that name that you strongly disliked?   "rachel," yes.  i used to love that name, now i just... can't stand it.  a rachel threatened to borderline kill me because her ex had a crush on me, like i can help that shit, and that same rachel was jason's ex that hurt him so deeply he cut and burned himself.  so.  i have zero tolerance for that whore.  i wish i had no opinion on the name, but damn... my dislike of her kinda just bled into the name itself. have you ever taken photos in a photobooth?   i've still got the ones i took with jason on my 16th birthday somewhere... could you ever be friends with somebody who was racist?   i am friends with a racist.  reason being, her system of beliefs aren't my business.  now i believe there is zero excuse for her racism, but i still love her very, very much and hope she changes. which natural disaster do you think is the most terrifying?   dude, earthquakes.  fuck that. if somebody has a long tongue, would that impact their attractiveness?   uhhh... no? do you own anything with your birthstone in it? what is your birthstone?   an angel charm pin, yes.  it's amethyst. if you had to pick a favorite bird, which one would you choose?   owls. how long was your longest make out?   hours.  practically all night. what was the last song you listened to?   "think twice" by eve 6. does being in love make you nervous?   it didn't when we were together, but it does now.  i let my guard down, and i shouldn't have. how easy would it be to get over the person you currently like/love?   it's impossible. is donald trump hot?   I JUST FUCKING GAGGED how often do you honestly say "i wanna die"?   usually, one or two days a week.  sometimes more. do you think you'll ACTUALLY live a happy life with somebody?   nope. have you ever kissed just a friend?   on the cheek, never on the lips. do you like spicy foods?   oh fuck yas when you said something naughty when you were little, did your parents wash out your tongue with soap?   mom would threaten to, but it's never happened to me. ever had your stomach kissed, even when you weren't expecting?   jason has, yeah. anyone have anything of yours?   jason has loads of stuff that are rightfully mine, but he can keep them. do you keep your relationship status to your self?   i mean, i don't go running around screaming i'm single, but i'll tell people i will if they ask? name the people you miss RIGHT NOW?   anyone who reads my surveys knows whom i miss. what color is your hair?   it'd dyed red. have you ever kissed on a boat?   no. would you want to change for someone?   if they were interested in me changing for the better, of course. do you write how you speak?   i write exactly how i speak. your ex says they love you, what do you say?   "fucking prove it." have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend?   yeah, right now. are you anyone’s first love?   i don't know.  i honestly doubt jason was truly in love with rachel, but it's possible. can you honestly say you’re okay right now?   hell no. what’s the last reason you held someone’s hand?   i was getting my old cyst emptied and holy fuck i thought i was dying. are you lonely? be honest.   i'm always lonely, usually.  i like being alone sometimes, but not for long periods, yet i am regardless.  the only time i'm ever not lonely is when i'm at colleen's. last reason you kissed someone?   because i loved and still love him? do you believe that there’s good in everybody?   no, honestly.  some people are monsters. would you fall apart if that last person you kissed walked out of your life?   he did walk out of my life, and i did fall apart, and still haven't been fixed. think to the last person you kissed; have you ever kissed them on the ground?   lmao shit you not he preferred kissing on the floor.