#so some idiot pissed me off on crunchyroll

[tantei-armin]

Man, it's so sad (and kinda pathetic, sorry), that so many of the bad reviews for Trigun Stampede on MAL, are basically "it's different from the OG yadda yadda".

Why is it so hard for people to separate both shows? I mean, Im ok with people not liking Stampede, or not liking the new designs or missing Millie, but if your only argument to shit on the show is because you are a nostalgia baby that cant deal with change, then Im sorry, but I consider your opinion invalid.

Don't like stampede, then just go rewatch the OG anime. At least be real and admit that the OG had its faults too (have u seen the static fight scenes?), but dont come at me saying Im stupid for enjoying Stampede and claiming the OG anime was "perfect".

Dont like the show? Dont watch it. I didnt like the OG anime, but you dont see me going around calling it trash or insulting people who enjoyed the show. I like Stampede's designs more, I like the darker tone of the show and I find Orange's CG style stunning. But I understand why people enjoy the OG too even if I didnt, its just a matter of personal preferences.

So really guys. If you dont like Stampede, thats fine, no one is forcing you to watch it. But let the people who do enjoy it have their fun and bebhappy instead of going around trashing the show and insulting people.

[medea10]

My Review of Konosuba

(Short for: KonoSuba - God's Blessing on This Wonderful World)

How did I get into this anime? As you all know, I’m being an absolute lazy-ass when it comes to Isekai animes and have only gotten into the recent hits as of 2019. I already finished the suffer edition and the struggle edition. Let’s check out the light-hearted, wonk-fest! But before that…

Let’s go back to the mid-1990s and rewatch the first episode of Yu Yu Hakusho. We all remember Yusuke Urameshi sacrificing his life in order to save a child about to be hit by a truck followed by being told that the child would have survived regardless if Yusuke interfered or not. So dude just wasted his fucking life for nothing! Let’s amp this trope up to 483 with the way our main lead in Konosuba dies. Kazuma Satou was on his way back home from purchasing a video game when he noticed a girl about to be hit by a car. He pushes her out of the way and yada, yada, yada he’s dead!

He is now in a limbo setting, standing before a goddess named Aqua who tells Kazuma that his death was absolutely meaningless. Not only would the girl have survived, it wasn’t even a car, it was a slow-moving tractor. And Kazuma didn’t get hit by the tractor, he suffered a heart attack due to shock, followed by pissing his pants, followed by doctors, family, and relations laughing at Kazuma’s humiliating experience. And then he dies!

Aqua tells Kazuma that he has two options. He can either go to Heaven or be transported to a fantasy world (much like a game) and try to defeat a demon king. Choosing the fantasy world, Kazuma is given the opportunity to take an item with him on his travels. Now at this point, Kazuma has been annoyed by this goddess’s attitude towards him and decides to be a dick. So Kazuma chooses Aqua to be with him on his journey. Sucks for Kazuma however, because Aqua is useless! And unlike the video games Kazuma’s used to, he and Aqua must do manual labor and pay off expenses in the first town. So they might be there for a while.

Kazuma ends up with two more members in his crew including a witch named Megumin that uses explosive magic and a masochistic crusader named Lalatina Dustiness Ford (or Darkness for short). But don’t get too excited! Megumin’s magic can only be used once a day, wiping away her energy. And while Darkness has a mean sword, she misses every time with it. So yeah, this is a rag-tag team of useless dopes. Let’s watch the wacky misadventures of Kazuma, Aqua, Megumin, and Darkness as they go on missions, drink until they puke, explode castles, and steal underwear.

Yes, Kazuma occasionally does this.

BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: Crunchyroll has been able to bless the masses with an English dub. Can’t let FUNimation have all the Isekai hits. So far it’s been alright and I’m hearing more Erica Mendez and Cristina Vee. All good things here! Plus it gives me a chance to hear the voices of Kazuma, whom up to this point I have minimal time listening to either person who plays him. And annoying as Aqua may be, Faye Mata does a really good job with that range Sora Amamiya set in the original. Here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

JAPANESE CAST: *Kazuma is played by Jun Fukushima (known for Naruko on Yowamushi Pedal and Makoto on Fruits Basket 2019)

*Aqua is played by Sora Amamiya (known for Touka on Tokyo Ghoul, Chizuru on Rent A Girlfriend, Miia on Monster Musume, Yachiyo on Magia Record, Akame on Akame ga Kill, and Elizabeth on Seven Deadly Sins)

*Megumin is played by Rie Takahashi (known for Emilia on Re:Zero)

*Darkness is played by Ai Kayano (known for Alice on SAO: Alicization, Menma on Anohana, Nana on Golden Time, Ryouko on Food Wars, Itsuwa on Index, Yukika on My Love Story, and Mayaka on Hyouka)

ENGLISH CAST: *Kazuma is played by Arnie Pantoja (known for Watchdog-Man on One Punch Man and Kanbarry on Re:Zero)

*Aqua is played by Faye Mata (known for Rin on Love Live, Aluminum Siren on Sailor Moon Stars, Yukako on Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Pt. 4, Frederica on Re:Zero, and a bitch on Shield Hero)

*Megumin is played by Erica Mendez (known for Ryuko on Kill la Kill, Haruka/Sailor Uranus on Sailor Moon S [redub], Raphtalia on Shield Hero, Retsuko on Aggretsuko, Nico on Love Live, and Emma on The Promised Neverland)

*Darkness is played by Cristina Vee (known for Homura on Madoka Magica, Rei/Sailor Mars on Sailor Moon, Mio on K-ON, Sakura on Fate/Stay Night UBW, Kotori on Love Live, and Kanaria on Rozen Maiden: Traumend)

FAVORITE CHARACTER: Darkness is best girl, don’t at me!

SHIPPING (sorta): Can we just all agree that Darkness is just a sober version of Cheryl from Archer?

Whoever ends up with her will end up choking her either because she tells you to or she annoys you with her masochistic nature! I seriously do not know how you want me to turn this shipping discussion into anything other than a comment about a bitch getting choked.

ENDING TO SEASON ONE: Kazuma has been able to get a little good luck in his other world as he was finally able to move out of the stables and into a house with the rest of his crew. Although, it didn’t come easy! Then again, what has in this series? In the final episode of the first season, all of the adventures of the town were called to take on a scary foe. Up to this point, we’ve seen these guys take out mutant cabbages and an idiot dullahan. Today we’ve got…

A giant, mechanical spider!

Why do the stupidest stories always rely on a giant, mechanical spider? Kazuma and the rest were able to stop the spider from moving. However, this monstrosity is set to explode and the impact could take out the entire town. Darkness wants to repay the town for all it has done for her and her family. The adventurer men want to repay the town because of all the succubus taverns they love. And Kazuma just wants to continue his journey so he can take out the demon king. Now, because Megumin already used her explosion magic for the day, she’s down for the count. But she was able to do it a second time thanks to Kazuma transferring some magic from Aqua through his spell and with a little help from Wiz. The day is saved, Kazuma and his crew got a hefty reward, and then Kazuma is immediately charged with treason for sending the evidence to a higher up and it exploded.

Believe it or not, but a lot of these quests end with a giant middle finger to them. Almost like Curb Your Enthusiasm!

EPISODE 11: The special episode that followed came with some more misfortune for Kazuma. A trip to Wiz’s shop ends with a choker around Kazuma’s neck that’s going to strangle him in three days if his wish doesn’t come true. So to figure out what Kazuma’s wish is, Kazuma has all of these girls fulfill his greatest desires in the hopes of one of these humiliating tasks will release Kazuma from the choker.

As you can guess, because this is an OVA, it will be filled to the brim with degeneracy compared to the television series. Fuck yeah it was! Kazuma used this opportunity to use Wiz’s tits as comfy pillows, have Megumin play “Strip Rock/Paper/Scissors” with Yunyun, have Aqua fetch him food, and watch Darkness jiggle her breasts. Even when he thought he was at death’s door, he uses this special time to tell each girl with him at this dramatic moment that they are nothing more than tits and ass. All except for Aqua! No love for her. Not even a pity erection! So when the spell on the choker was released due to a simple wish, Kazuma was then killed by Aqua and quite possibly everyone else and Kazuma was sent back to the goddess chamber as he learned a powerful lesson.

Don’t ever do that again!

Damn…Kazuma died 3 times so far in 11 episodes. Subaru got you beat by a country mile. He’s probably looking at you like, “You damn, lucky dumbass. I got frozen, shanked, stabbed, sliced, maced, and eaten by bunnies”.

SEASON TWO: As I mentioned at the end of season one, Kazuma is charged with treason and usually that comes with a death sentence. Unfortunately for Kazuma, his unintentional crime was against this big, fat, smelly noble who has many higher-ups wrapped around his finger. The townspeople can’t really help him out otherwise they’d risk being charged as well. And you have a prosecutor wanting Kazuma’s head on a pike not only for the major charge, but for being a pervert. The writing is on the wall, Kazuma is screwed. However, thanks to Darkness (and her family lineage) she was able to take one for the team by saving Kazuma (for now) and have that big, fat, smelly noble do God knows what to her. Also, the kingdom repossessed a lot of things from Kazuma’s crew.

So they’re worse than “square one” at this point. They’re at “square -57” with how much debt they’ve all accumulated.

ENDING TO SEASON TWO: Things are starting to look up for Kazuma and his crew. They were able to abolish their debt, got the treason charges lifted, and they were able to gain back some respect around the village. So what better way to celebrate then to go on a bit of vacation. The gang decided to head off to another town for some rest and relaxation. Unfortunately, the town they spent their time off at is full of religious wackos. And what I mean by religious wackos, I mean WORSE than Jehova Witnesses, Evangelical Christians, and the Heaven’s Gate cult all rolled into one.

…Okay, I’m obviously embellishing here. I just really fucking hate all of those ones I just mentioned. This cult is so fucking annoying! At every turn they’re trying to convert Kazuma, Megumin, and Darkness into their fold.

Oh wait, it gets better! This cult worships the goddess Aqua! And of course our favorite idiot Aqua was using this to her advantage. That is until a priest didn’t believe her, starting a chain reaction with the townsidiots all leading up to them chasing Kazuma and crew out with pitchforks and fire. Apparently, Aqua did a big no-no by purifying the hot spring water and now it’s just regular water.

Unfortunately at that same time, a general to the dark lord was in area poisoning all of the water in this town. Yeah, this guy is serious trouble since he’s on a higher level than Wiz (back when she was working under the demon king). But he’s a slime and works with poison. In this world, Kazuma doesn’t stand a chance. Surprisingly, this battle went well (albeit Kazuma dying inside the slime), but we got to see Aqua at her baddest of ass. Now you’d think the town would be grateful to Kazuma and his team for ridding them of a demon king general. Hahaha, never trust religious nutjobs! They still found fault with Aqua purifying their hot springs and they were thrown out.

In the 11th episode (or second side-story), Kazuma thought he was meeting a new fan in town. So he regales her with tales of his expoditions to woo her. Turns out the girl is a new member of the local tavern and one of her jobs is to listen to useless adventurers to boost their morale. And this girl was totally not digging Kazuma. I think this hurt Kazuma more than all the times he’s died in this series.

MOVIE: We head off to the land where Megumin and Yunyun were born and raised. While there was some miscommunication into if the town and their families were in trouble to begin with, trouble sure found Kazuma and the gang once they arrived. Another general of the demon king ends up causing quite a stir in the town. Sylvia was extra hard to take down in this story. Just when you thought she was dead, she returns from death’s door and brings the poison slime from season two and the dullahan from season one to wreck havoc all across the land. Luckily, Kazuma, his crew, Wiz, Yunyun, and the rest of the townspeople were able to put an end to Sylvia and her cohorts.

But man, Kazuma got some really shitty deals in this movie. His trashy and perverted reputation isn’t any better. Megumin’s father wanted to kill him. Megumin’s mother locked Kazuma and Megumin in a room together in hopes of doing the nasty, was messed with by a chimera of two genders, and was killed in a gruesome way that even the angels had to throw up when they saw the state of Kazuma.

On a positive note, Megumin seemed to have grown a little with this adventure as she was even thinking of putting her explosive magic on hold and give a whirl at other options. But she still gave a giant explosion that’s worth 120 points.

Konosuba was amusing. Definitely worth a few chuckles! I know it won’t be for everyone as comedy in anime can often be hit-or-miss. But the combination of characters with many quirks, the animation, the setting, the tasks, and misunderstandings, you’ve got yourself an anime version of Curb Your Enthusiasm. So…yeah, not for everyone, hit-or-miss! But in the big five isekai animes, this one is a little more light compared to some of the others. Overlord can get quite gory. Shield Hero will anger any sane person to a point of madness. And Re:Zero is just a misery blanket! Konosuba is that light-hearted comedy where sometimes the main protagonist dies horrificly in battle, but will return like Kenny from South Park. So if Shield Hero and Re:Zero depress you, maybe you might need a break with the silly, zany antics of Kazuma’s crew in Konosuba.

Results may vary on your views of Aqua.

If you would like to watch Konosuba, the entire series is available on Crunchyroll. That’s the first season, second season, both OVA’s, and the movie in several different languages!

Okay, let’s pick our next Netflix, Crunchyroll, or Amazon exclusive!

Alright! An anime like Black Lagoon if it involved gay boys! Banana Fish time.

[dewbond-blog]

Don’t @ Me: Ten of my Anime Opinions

New topic time! Welcome to Don’t @ Me, where I rattle off a list of anime opinions that I have. From the hip, with little actual thought put to them. These are raw opinions that could change tomorrow, or never at all! Most all of it’s an excuse to do an easy blog post and keep things up to date. My first ten are after the cut!

1. Fanservice shoved into an anime where it doesn’t belong can ruin a good series (Fairy Tail) but Fanservice, in general, has pretty much kept the anime industry alive through the all the highs and lows. Tits and ass move merchandise, accept it.

2.  Neon Genesis Evangelion’s impact and effect on the anime industry is marrow-deep, and it should be praised for that. It still doesn’t forgive the fact that Shinji Ikari is an idiotic main character and the story is so far up its own ass it should have choked to death.

3.  People hate Sword Art Online because it got too popular way too fast. It’s ok to not like Sword Art Online, and it’s ok to lambast the ripple effect it has had on anime and the Isekai genre in general. Sword Art Online is a cornerstone anime for a whole generation of fans and it deserves respect for that.

4. Darling in the Franxx’s 21st episode completely pissed away any of the goodwill it had by chickening out and not committing to the “making babies is important” message of the story, which was actually an intriguing and interesting thematic thread whether you agreed with it or not. That is the worst thing about that show, not the “make babies propaganda,” not the Ichigo character, not the fact that it was Evangelion fanfiction.

5. I fucking HATE Shinmai Maou no Testament, but its depiction of its ecchi fanservice is probably the best in the entire genre and it has my respect for that. But it is also a “me too” cash grab trying to chase High School DxD‘s success, but refuses to do any of the groundwork in creating memorable characters and an interesting story.

6. If Netflix wanted to, they could completely dominate the western anime industry by dumping all those millions to get Japanese studios to create new seasons of favorite shows. “Haruhi Season 3″ or “Devil Works Part Time Season 2” exclusively funded and on Netflix would almost certainly cripple Funimation and Crunchyroll.

7. One Piece will probably end up being the stronger story and manga, but Naruto’s character arcs and themes are very well done, and it should be praised for taking risks with some characters and not keeping to a status quo. (LOOKING AT YOU FAIRY TAIL)

8. Mobile Suit Gundam either needs to reboot the Universal Century timeline or put it to bed for good. It’s not interesting to new viewers, depends too much on decades-old anime that haven’t aged well, and is way too complicated to really give a damn about.

9. Fate Stay Night Unlimited Blade Works should have had the courage to either keep the Rin and Shirou sex scene from the Visual Novel in or completely rewrite it. After everything they go through in that story, the fact that they don’t fuck is more ridiculous than a blonde hair guy using swords as projectiles.

10. Another World with my Smartphone was actually a pretty fucking good Isekai story in comparison to some of the stuff we’ve gotten in recent years.

This was fun! I’ll probably do this again sometime soon! Please feel free to share on your blogs some of your “from the gut” anime opinions!

[the-nysh]

Lines from the dub’s script for Deku vs Kacchan 2

Since Crunchyroll’s subs had several translation errors, I was interested in seeing for myself how much better Funimation would do for the dub. I went in and transcribed most of the notable lines for ref and/or comparison’s sake. (Not for the purpose of comparing the voice acting however.) Also included are some of my thoughts/impressions for particular word choices at the end.  

K: Kacchan D: Deku AM: All Might A: Aizawa

Also bolded: important key lines to browse at a glance

K: “When you and I were kids, we both wanted to be like All Might, but I…had the potential. Then somehow a little nobody like you was singled out by the person I admired most, and I didn’t even realize it. That’s why we’re here. We are settling this. Right here, right now.

“I wanna know what made All Might give his power to a loser like you. (1) Lemme see for myself. Is it because you looked up to him more than I did? And if that’s the case…does it mean everything I’ve done to be like him is wrong?

“You were always behind me our whole lives! You were stuck to me; I couldn’t get rid of you. No matter how much I tried you kept coming back! (2)

“Don’t you dare worry about me! Attack me! (3) Why won’t you fight back!? Why did I end up having to chase after someone who was always so far behind me!? Why did a damn small fry like you get strong, and become the number one hero’s sidekick – his favorite!? (4) You got so much better! And I destroyed All Might! I admired him so much…but it’s because of me that he ended up losing his power! (5) If I had been stronger…if I hadn’t been kidnapped by villains, then it never would have happened. All Might knows it was my fault but hasn’t said anything. (6) Everyone has to know though! I can’t get it out of my head! It’s like it’s constantly playing on loop, so what the hell am I supposed to DO!?”

D: “No…he’s been carrying this guilt with him the whole time? Even more than me. He’s been blaming himself, obsessing over it…  

“It turned out our fight wasn’t what I thought it would be. It didn’t really matter who won or lost. That wasn’t the point. Even so, I felt like I had to go through with it. Because in that moment…I was the only person in the world who understood how Kacchan felt. (7)

“If I’m gonna do this, I’m going all out! I refuse to be your punching bag, Kacchan! Let’s go!

“He just needed to vent his emotions, and fighting was the only way he knew how. I couldn’t ignore him…or run off, not after everything we’ve been through. Our relationship to one another was totally screwed up: kindergarten, elementary, middle school, high school…  We’ve known each other for so long but until that point, we’d never talked about how we really felt.”(8)

K: “Can’t let him think!”(9)    

D: “My reaction times have gotten faster, much better than the last time we’ve fought. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised…that we’ve both been getting stronger.”(10)

K: “What are you smiling about!? Huh!? I thought you weren’t gonna be my punching bag?! I bet you’ve got some kinda plan up your sleeve! That’s one of the things I hate most about you! (11) I can never tell what you’re thinking…no matter how much I beat you up you keep coming back! It’s obvious you’ve always looked down on me, even when we were kids! You think you’re better than me, but if you seriously believe you’re gonna surpass me as a hero, even with your new power! You better think again, Deku!”

D: “Wait…is that what you actually believed, all this time? Think about it, Kacchan. If I looked down on you I wouldn’t want anything to do with you anymore. But I’m still here. I noticed things you couldn’t all these years because I had nothing at first. There were things I hated about you, sure. But I could clearly see how amazing you were! You had so much going for you that I didn’t have. All Might was my hero, but you were the one actually in my LIFE! (12)

“I thought you were incredible, Kacchan. I wanted to see…what you’d become! That’s the reason…I kept chasing after you!

“I’d never admit something like this to your face, but the truth is…when I get riled up and my desire to win surpasses my desire to save someone…without meaning to, I start talking like you. You’re so mean sometimes, and I hate it, but my idea of victory is so tied to the image of you in my head, that in those moments I can’t help but imitate you. (13)

“You’re the best, that’s why I want to defeat you! I have to, in order to meet the expectations that All Might has for me!”  

K: “That’s it. We’re done here, I won this fight. You have All Might’s power, but even…using his strength, even after making it your own, somehow you still managed to lose to me. …Why? How could you lose?  

*to All Might* “Why did you pick Deku? It started when the Sludge villain came, didn’t it? So why him?”(14)

AM: “He was powerless, but still more heroic than anyone else. I knew you were strong, that much was obvious. You were someone who could already fight, so I decided that he should have a chance to stand in the ring.”

K: “…But now you know I’m weak too! I always wanted to be like you which meant being as strong as possible! But look what I did to you! Because I’m not good enough…”(15)

AM: “This is not your fault, young Bakugou. I was always going to lose my power. You couldn’t do anything to change that. You are strong, but I focused too much on your physical strength, and overlooked what was important. This isn’t your burden. I apologize; sometimes I forget that you’re children.

“After being a hero for so many years you learn a few things. Striving to be the best, like you, young Bakugou, and caring deeply about people, about rescuing those in trouble, like you, young Midoriya; both of those feelings are necessary in a hero, otherwise they’ll never truly be able to represent justice. That’s why you admire his strength so much, young Midoriya…and I know that’s why you’ve always feared his heart and spirit, young Bakugou. Now that you’ve laid your feelings out on the table, maybe you can understand each other. If you have mutual respect and focus on making one another stronger, I’ve no doubt you’ll become the ultimate heroes, winning and saving people at the same time.” (16)

K: “Dammit…that’s not what I wanted to hear. *to Deku* You…you had the strongest guy in the world lay the groundwork for you. Don’t you dare lose again. 

*to All Might* “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me. I won’t tell anyone what’s going on. Unlike Deku I can keep my mouth shut. This will stay between us.”

D: “Thanks, Kacchan.” (17)   

AM: “I don’t deserve this; I should be down on my hands and knees begging for you to keep this secret for me. Yet here you are being considerate and helping me out. Thank you.”

K: “I’m not doing this for you. It would just be a real pain if this got out and messed stuff up.

*to Deku* “If this got out people’d be confused and they’d start wondering where the power is. You idiot, what were you thinking when you first told me about it?”

AM: “It was my own choice to use up the last of my abilities. I said this earlier, but…that was in no way your fault.”

K: *internally* “Yeah, sure. (18) It doesn’t change what I have to do. Things aren’t gonna be the same though, Deku, you got that? You’ve been watching me and everyone around you, absorbing what you see to get stronger. Well I can do the exact same thing and keep getting better myself! I’ll go higher than even you, chosen one.”

D: “Right…then I guess I’ll just have to be better than that!”

K: “You what?”

D: “I have to go higher than you!”

K: “Dammit nerd! I just said I was gonna be the one to surpass you!”    

D: “I know! And now I’m saying that I’m gonna go beyond that level!

K: “What?!”      

AM: “They’ve become proper rivals now, in a way that they weren’t before.

*to Aizawa* “It seems young Bakugou has been feeling like he was responsible for my retirement. He had to face the licensing exam with those pent-up emotions and then his inferiority complex exploded, and this happened. It’s all because I didn’t realize I was being negligent. This whole fight was brought about because of the failure of his teacher.”(19)  

A: “Who threw the first punch!?”

K: “I did.”

D: “I also went pretty hard. It wasn’t just him.”

*After credits scene*

D: “So…about my Shoot Style…what did you think of it?”

K: “…Your movements are too obvious. Even when you got faster I was able to dodge them. You’re not gonna win any fight that way.”

D: “Oh, right.”

K: “…And when you added in punches it really pissed me off.”

D: “Got it!”         

My thoughts, as listed numerically where noted (my sub commentary is here): 

The choice to include ‘loser’ here is kinda ‘hmm,’ since it adds another insult to the line that’s otherwise supposed to be his most honest/sincere. The prev line already had him say ‘nobody’ (instead of ‘pebble’) so this one felt a bit unnecessary. Other than that, I’m ok with this line, (actually it gives off a more accusatory/jealous vibe in general rather than genuine incredulity/confusion at the truth), but I do like him questioning ‘everything he’s done’ to show just how lost he feels.

I like how it’s worded here how much Kacchan tried to get kid Deku to stop following him to no avail. Because it’s an important distinction to make vs actively seeking him out (which would be untrue for Kacchan’s behavior). No matter what he did to either avoid or discourage him to stay away, he couldn’t understand why Deku would keep coming back to him regardless.  

I like the demand, ‘attack me!’ (as opposed to ‘fight me!’) because just as mentioned in this meta, it gives off the feeling of him seeking self-destructive punishment for his guilt.    

The words ‘sidekick’ and ‘his favorite’ used to describe Deku’s relation to All Might are new here! :O I didn’t expect either, (honestly being a sidekick doesn’t seem like a role Kacchan would want to have or be envious of Deku for) but the word ‘favorite’ was delivered nicely painful.

The timing for this line felt off, since the actual ‘wham’ part, and therefore the full impact about destroying All Might, was revealed before the pause where Kacchan raised his head. The part where he bares his face and rawest feelings to Deku then felt a bit lessened/repetitive because of that.

Whoa!?! :O This line punched me in the gut! ‘AM knows it was my fault but hasn’t said anything!’ (vs AM tried to keep it a secret, with ‘it’ being vague) NOW, there’s no doubt what he’s referring to, plus that he believes the person he admires most even blames him for it. That everyone, including AM, gives him the cold shoulder behind his back because they just know it was his fault. Holy fuck yikes, drive that guilt and self-loathing up to 11! D8

Deku’s the ‘only person in the world’ for even more EMPHASIS! 8D

:’))))) I’m emotional. I like how this was worded.

Ah good, the pronoun was fixed where Kacchan refers to Deku.

Oho? Manga had Deku referring to Kacchan, while crunchyroll had Deku referring to himself, now here’s the middle ground with Deku praising them both for their growth. :P

Ah, the first showing of the word ‘hate.’ (1 out of 3) The use of it is kinda eehhhh, but if there’s any solace, it’s only used to refer to traits about the other, rather than directly saying they outright hate the other person. So there’s a distinction (and it’s not that bad).

Hhhh, my heart. ;A; (2nd use of ‘hate’ referring to things about the other) But the ‘I’m still here/you were the one actually in my life’ get me right in the feels. Emphatically proclaiming that declaration to Kacchan’s face is pretty good! 8D

(3rd use) But only about ‘being mean sometimes.’ So as it’s worded, we have Deku disliking when Kacchan’s mean (understandable), yet he unknowingly imitates that same meanness when he strives to win like him too, adapting both his virtuous and unpleasant traits as his image of victory, ayyy. And of course, Deku internally confesses he could never admit this to Kacchan’s face out loud. :P

Oh. ;.; ‘So why him?’ made Kacchan sound so soft and small, like a betrayed and hurt little kid. Oof, that bit got me.

The ‘I’m weak/I’m not good enough’ lines just uurghghhhh hurt so good. Kacchan’s vulnerability/humility in front of All Might is done well. :’)  

Ayyyyy, All Might’s speech to motivate them to mutually improve together. :’))) I like how he summarizes the feelings they both have (Midoriya: caring deeply for others; Bakugou: fearing that heart/spirit). It’s clean and heartfelt.

Wah, :O I didn’t expect Deku to thank Kacchan for promising to keep AM’s secret. (AM thanks him too, but still…) It’s like…now they’re both genuinely surprised Kacchan is an honorable man who keeps his word (when, at least in Deku’s case, he should know how much Kacchan values AM and wouldn’t betray his trust, so that kinda thing should already be a given. So Deku thanking him for that, on top of his soft amazement, feels a bit odd???)  

Oooh, this bit said internally in response to AM’s reassurance now gives off the impression that Kacchan’s guilt isn’t completely gone/mollified; there’s still lingering doubt in the back of his mind that he caused this, even if he knows now what to do next.  

AM’s summary to Aizawa is pretty similar, yet it doesn’t mention mental heath/care, hmm.

Overall: pretty good! :) Worth a watch for those interested in the alternate available official translation! (At least until the subs are officially released on the blurays!) I give props to Deku’s voice actor for his sincerity and range throughout the whole ep. I preferred Kacchan in the latter half when talking vulnerably in front of All Might, since in much of the first half, he seemed to be yelling with sustained anger/frustration rather than choked anguish/pain that I would have liked to hear more. (Ahh, there’s really no comparison to Nobu’s performance, so that’s why I’m not going to discuss the eng vs japanese acting.)

The overall script was clean with several moments of improved polish over the subs that still got me unexpectedly in the feels. (’AM knows it was my fault.’/’You were the one actually in my life!’) Since many lines had to be reworked to fit for mouth flaps too, probably the only unfortunate consequence of that was the timing for Kacchan admitting to AM’s end. Most other additions I was ok with in the sense they weren’t bad, (meaning I can overlook them for the sake of overall enjoyment). Including an extra ‘loser’ and the word ‘hate’ 3 times was pretty ehhhh, but thankfully only used in the context of ‘things they hate about x‘ rather than they hate each other entirely (which would be incorrect). Therefore, the meaning of most key parts were conveyed mostly intact. 

Hopefully this will be useful to those interested in seeing (most of) the eng transcript without the means to watch the ep itself (or, according to individual availability/viewing preferences). :)

[terrible-tentacle-theatre]

The Bestiary Revamped: Wyville’s Crownjelly

Disclaimer: While this article is founded in scientific fact, it contains hyberbole and conscious exaggerations for the sake of comedy. Do not take my ramblings at face value. You can find the sources at the end of the article and tools for scientific fact-checking under the “Learn more” link on my blog.

The old article can be read here.

At long last, today we finally return under the waves, and while we’re at it, why not go full fucking overboard? Here at the Terrible Tentacle Theatre, we pride ourselves on not having any idea what “moderation” means. If we return to the sea, there is only one place to go: down. Way, way down.

Say hello to the bathypelagic zone, the expanse of watery void stretching from 1000 to 4000 meters. Our passengers might want to look out their windows and observe the breathtaking scenery below:

Oh no, you’ve got it all wrong. That’s not your internet being shit again. That’s genuinely how it looks, in real life, when you descend to a depth of 3000 or so meters. Nature documentaries like to put more bioluminescent flecks of organic matter in it than a love-starved grandma does lights on the Christmas tree when her grandkids are visiting. However, in reality, making a 24/7 lightshow out of yourself is a preeeeetty bad idea, since it attracts the immediate attention of pretty much everything with huge fucking teeth in the vicinity. Hint: you’ll get eaten, pretty fast. In fact, this is the actual reason why anglerfishes do their little thing with the glowing lures, because anything and everything bigger than said lures will be attracted to it, allowing the anglerfish to basically pull a “gotcha” and eat them in turn.

My point being, if you see something shiny in the deep sea, do not go to investigate. Whatever is shining that light wants you to go there.

And that is also the prime tactic of today’s specimen, which takes the incredible freedom that comes with living in a realm of eternal darkness and emptiness and uses it to fulfill it’s lifelong dream of being a goddamn Pokemon master. Come with me on today’s adventure and you’ll soon see what I mean by that.

I often joke around about how some particularly strange species we review here look like aliens. However, if aliens did decide to visit Earth, Wyville’s crownjelly (Atolla wyvillei), also known as the atolla jellyfish or coronate medusa, wouldn’t be one of the aliens. It would be the fucking spaceship.

I mean, look at this damn thing. I can’t tell where it begins or ends, but I sure can tell where the fucking cockpit is. That is not how a jellyfish should operate; they should be controlled by a decentralized nervous system, not little green men from Planet Piss Off out to steal our hotdogs and happy thoughts because their planet doesn’t have any.

Of course, the scare factor of a glowing organic UFO mothership straight out of Roswelltunguska, Arizona swimming around in our oceans is somewhat mitigated by the fact that it’s tiny as shit. Standing at a diameter of about 15 centimeters (~6 inches), it’s either not a serious harm to humankind at large or the mothership of the smallest aliens ever. I’m inclined to believe the latter.

*squeaky helium voice* BOW DOWN TO ME PUNY EARTHLINGS

AND STOP LAUGHING DAMMIT

Of course, there is a very good reason for the crownjelly being as small as it is. In the deep sea, you can’t throw a brick without hitting absolute darkness and empty water. You take two steps to the left and BAM- you’ve just ran headfirst into fucking nothing at all. The bathypelagic zone where this thing hangs out on the regular is a really food-scarce place is what I’m getting at. And big bodies being as expensive to upkeep as they are, most deep-sea creatures are actually much smaller than nature documentaries would have you believe.

Another aspect of the deep ocean besides being empty also being darker than a Morlock’s asshole inside a cave. Therefore, any light sticks out like a sore thumb, drawing attention like Kim Kardashian did with that one photoshoot of hers. (Doesn’t matter which one, actually. All of them drew attention.) Wyville’s crownjelly exploits this to show us that these particular aliens aren’t interested in meeting our leader, only in playing Pokemon Go.

The whole entire process of capturing a shiny begins with the jellyfish carelessly frolicking across the deep sea, like all of them youngster with their fancy phones and smartwatches. For some inscrutable reason, this movement is accompanied by a steady red pulsing on the underside of its bell. For what reason, I cannot determine seeing as most creatures at that depth are completely fucking blind to the color red. The one species that can actually see red is one that you really don’t want to attract the attention of. In fact, messing with this guy is such a bad idea that its existence was literally what prompted me to start writing this blog in the first place and it served as the subject of my first Bestiary article.

Wyville’s crownjelly swimming, also known as Local Suicidal Idiot Takes a Walk. I mean seriously, you can’t even say that it doesn’t live in the same place as the loosejaw because both species are cosmopolitan. The only saving throw for the crownjelly is that it lives an average 2000 meters deeper than the loosejaw, otherwise this blaring red light would be the evolutionary equivalent of putting a big flashing “KICK ME” sign around your neck.

The first method of capturing sea creatures to train them and become the very best (like no one ever was) is the series of tendrils hanging from its bell, which the jellyfish uses to filter out and capture small prey animals that have the supreme bad luck to be in its vicinity. The alien abduction parallels are uncanny.

However, a second and much more impressive weapon in its arsenal is the long, trailing tentacle that is clearly visible on the above gif. This is coated in enough adhesive to make a hagfish gag, and the crownjelly uses it to its full extent to sate its rumbling belly. Streaming in the water like the latest shit-tier waifu harem show on Crunchyroll, it becomes an effective hunting tool for the benefit of the jellyfish. Anything snared by this appendage will be subjected to similar treatment that one might expect the villains in a Conan the Barbarian movie to do, being dragged after Wyville’s ruthless motherfucking crownjelly, sometimes for minutes, before it does an acrobatic little pirouette and swallows its helpless, snagged prey. Lovely feeding tactic.

Pictured: Wyville’s crownjelly on the hunt. Sadly it can’t really go “YEEHAW” under the water. Even if it had a voicebox all it would be good for would be gurgling.

However, that is not the most unusual feature about this cruel little cnidarian. There is yet one more trick that this deep-sea flying saucer holds, a trick which catapults it from “moderately interesting predator” right into “Kanto Elite Four” position. And that thing is its lights.

See, vicious as it is towards smaller animals, the crownjelly is actually a dirty, dishonorable coward, being equally afraid of bigger predators. Apparently this tiny creature composed of somewhere around 97% water counts as a delicious treat for some reason, seeing as even large active predators such as deepwater sharks munch on it regularly. (Then again, it is also possible that they’re simply too hungry to care about their record as gourmets with refined taste. This is the desolation that is the abyssal zone, afterall.)

Running from a sufficiently large and starved predator in the middle of a flat-empty expanse of water is, of course, hopeless, especially if you’re small as shit and your method of locomotion is the jellyfish equivalent of flapping your arms really fast to try to fly. Clearly, a different tactic must be employed here since this one is a one-way ticket to the town of Stomach, United States of Shark. And employ a different tactic it does.

Oh, boy, does it ever.

I have previously mentioned that the crownjelly is bioluminescent, and employs this attribute for some nefarous purpose. Of course, this is not the red pulsing I already mentioned, this is a whole ‘nother can of worms entirely. This is one of the most ingenious methods of defense I’ve ever seen.

If some foolish predator gives the atolla chase and inevitably catches it, the jellyfish activates its second, blue set of lights. Once again the UFO analogues become eeriely appropriate as the slightest touch sends the saucer-shaped animal into a frantic siren-like light show.

Recommended listening

This strange eruption of light is no mere panic response. It is a powerful and weird weapon of self-defense, carefully evolved to be as tacky and eye-catching as possible. It’s like a ganguro girl, only bioluminescent.

Of course, you might ask “why would the jellyfish want to be eye-catching? Isn’t being devoured by one predator a big enough problem for it already?” Well obviously it is, but this lightshow is actually its own circuitous path to freedom.

To understand this, picture the following. You are some big mean motherfucker making a living in the deep sea by eating as much as you can find. One day while taking your regular stroll through the absolute crushing darkness, you catch sight of a distinct, circular light in the distance; very flashy and very tasty-looking. You approach to investigate, and find a small jellyfish being caught by a larger and meatier animal.

What do you do?

Eat the jellyfish like a fucking idiot.

Eat the meatier, tastier predator.

If you answered “eat the predator”, congratulations! You’re at least as smart as a fish. And that is, in fact, exactly what Wyville’s crownjelly is counting on. While you’re busy making a meal of its predator, the jellyfish quietly and sneakily fucks off into the abyss before you could think about having it as dessert. And so, Wyville’s crownjelly will live to swim another day, thanks to the power of summoning a big tough animal and pitting it against another ani- OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE IT’S A POKEMON TRAINER.

Do you see why I thought that? If you sail out to sea with Pokemon Go open on your phone, and all gyms on the world oceans are captured by Team Instinct, you know who to blame.

Wyville’s motherfucking crownjelly.

Sources

Encyclopedia of Life

WoRMS - World Register of Marine Species

Ocean Biogeography Information System (OBIS)

Global Biotic Interactions

Widder, E. A. Eye in the Sea, NOAA Operation Deep Scope 2005.

Hunt, J.C. & D.J. Lindsay, 1998. Observations on the behavior of Atolla (Scyphozoa: Coronatae) and Nanomia (Hydrozoa: Physonectae): use of the hypertrophied tentacle in prey capture. Plankton Biology and Ecology, 45, 239-242.

Herring, P.J. & E.A. Widder, 2004. Bioluminescence of deep-sea coronate medusae (Cnidaria: Scyphozoa). Marine Biology, 146: 39-51

[guildquarters]

Okay, so if you’re not aware, Joey (TheAnimeMan on YouTube) has recently posted his Summer & Fall anime roundup for 2016. Click for rant below if you want. Cause I talk about a whoooole bunch of shit.

Take what I’m about to say with a grain of salt, because despite everything, I still love Joey. A lot, he’s very entertaining and I love watching his videos. However, there is something that needs to be said about this video, around 15:30 with how he starts addressing our “beloved” Yuri!!! On Ice. I’m sorry, but I dunno if there is anyone who will want to read all of this, since it’s just me ranting a whole lot. If you don’t want to listen to my rant (which is actually the better option tbh) just begin watching at 15:30, and see for yourself.

Now, I will say this. Objectively, I recognize the flaws that YOI has, and that it didn’t flesh out as much as it could have. I’m in no way saying that YOI is the greatest anime of all time, and perhaps it didn’t need to win all of the awards that it did win. Now regarding that, let me address something. The Crunchyroll Anime Awards weren’t even remotely a serious awards show, so stop with all that bull shit about “wtf there were so much better anime out there”. And to add to that, they gave ridiculous choices to vote for. So come on, you know full well that the way the anime awards were handled was severely flawed, you shouldn’t take them that seriously. Hell, I know I didn’t. I just voted what I liked, not what I thought was objectively the best. And anyone who says they voted objectively on this thing, I don’t care who you are, you’re lying. So really, the bitterness of the anime awards is out of place, and overall, exaggerated. I would sort of understand if this was a more formal and serious awards show, like say the Academy Awards. That I would understand. But it wasn’t, so stop. Save your venting for something like that, and not for something so petty. (And let the record show that I don’t care whether or not someone likes YOI or not. What some random stranger has to say about a show that I like has nothing to do with me, so there’s that. I’m simply addressing the ridiculousness that is the Crunchyroll Anime Awards. Thanks) So, going head first into it, I know for a fact that i’m going to leave feeling somewhat disappointed, since I knew that he wasn’t the biggest fan of it. So I decided to see anyway what his thoughts were about it. But, I never thought that I would leave feeling as pissed off as I was. Not because he didn’t like it, no no, as I have stated before, I knew he wasn’t the biggest fan, so I knew what I was getting into. So, at the beginning of this I got what I had expected, which was “Let me just say that this show definitely looked good” Now, this is what I expected, so I was prepared to see why he thought this way, but nope, not what I got at all. He then goes on to say: “It quenches the thirst of yaoi fan-girls and ice skating enthusiasts who want some of that sweet sweet sword fighting action.” ............ Okay, first problem I already see here. Yuri!!! On Ice is not, and let me repeat, not a yaoi. Not even remotely. If it were a yaoi, the entire show would be centered around an unhealthy, fetishized gay relationship. (Hell, I wouldn’t even call it a relationship, given that yaoi mostly revolve around the sexuality, if not totally) Which it’s not. It revolves around the sport Figure Skating? Hell, honestly I’ve seen a lot people who were disappointed by it, claiming YOI ‘not being gay enough’. I rest my case, next.

  “But, if you’re neither one of these target audiences, then this show is pretty fucking bad”

And then he proceeds to say “And there go all my female viewers, who’s up for a sausage fest?!?!?! Well, Yuri on Ice certainly is up for it because that’s all this show fucking is.” First of all Joey, I still love you. Forever and always. But, I’ma rip you to fucking shreds. Second of all, to your first statement about the show being bad with different audiences, let me just say that my best friend, who is 1. a man 2. straight as a damn pole and 3. knew next to nothing of figure skating, actually genuinely enjoys the anime for what it is, and hasn’t even finished it yet. So, fuck off with that. To me, it just sounds like you didn’t even give this show a fucking chance, or even pay any remote attention to what else this show offered other than the Victuuri ship.(I also heard bitterness in your voice regarding the anime awards, which I already addressed) It seems to me that that’s all you paid any attention to and nothing else. Because the fact stands: Yuri!!! On Ice is NOT about the Victuuri ship, although it certainly is a strong sub-plot. Yuri!!! On Ice is about a man who suffers from self-worth anxiety and his growth not only as a skater, but as a person. It is also about finding the real meaning of love (And not just relating to Victuuri. There are tons of other examples of love within the series) That is what Yuri!!! On Ice is about. Next. “From the first episode, I could tell this show wasn’t going to show any level of quality, whatsoever.” Hoooooo boy. Welcome to Highway to Hell my friends! Cause that’s where we’re headed. Honestly, I think this quote is self explanatory, so I’m not going to give my two cents, other than, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Joey, I still love you, but seriously, your exaggeration is really showing. “Because Yuri on Ice took the concept of all of that, replaced it with shoe horned homoerotic tensions, solving all the problems in the world. What’s that? You have a nervous breakdown because you feel pressured to win this match? Have a hug from behind! Fuck anti-depressant drugs! GAY LOVE SOLVES ALL” I really like you kinda just skipped the parking garage scene in episode 7, where Victor was literally denied this very thing. You choose to include all the moments where the Victuuri sub-plot surfaced, and then completely disregard all the other genuinely meaningful scenes that were in the fucking show. And let me just say this. I don’t have personal experience with anti-depressants or anxiety medicine, but I’ve had close friends who have taken medication, and let me just say: They. Are. Not. Reliable. Yes, they work for some people, but they don’t work for everyone, so stop with that. “It’s boring, it’s cliché, and the only way i can enjoy this show is if I were a yaoi fan-girl pleb, who’ll watch anything with half naked Russian bishies going to town on idiots on skates. ALL HAIL SHITTY YAOI SPORTS.” Man Joey when will you learn? YOI ain’t no yaoi, get it right man. All in all though, I just found this entire section of the video very dramatic and very exaggerated. Whether this is for comedy’s sake or if it’s his actual opinion, I don’t know. All I know is that it was horribly uncalled for, and just extremely over the top. What I thought was going to be objective critiquing, turned in to an extremely biased rant about how ‘horrible’ this show was, without any actual evidence to back it up. Let me just say for the record that Yuri on Ice was an extremely low-budget anime that was put on a 3:00 AM Japan time slot because no one thought it would take off like it did. Even though it shouldn’t be an excuse, there is only so much you can do with a shitty ass budget. Not to mention all of the time and research that Mitsurō Kubo and Sayo Yamamoto went through to put this show together. That’s all I have to say about this. If you made it this far, you 1. are a Yuri on Ice enthusiast 2. like reading ridiculous rants (honestly wasted a lot of time doing this) 3. fucking crazy and I’m so sorry. Why did you read all of this shit omg, prolly didn’t make any sense whatsoever. Anyways, that’s it for me. Laters! (Btw, still love you Joey) @raven-gowing @borntomake @sil-lyn

[dlamp-dictator]

AAU: The End of the Strike Adventure (Part 1)

Well folks, it’s a bit early, but I think it’s time I do my Anime Update. It’s been a fine few months and fine 15 bucks gone, but I think think I can end my subscription to Anime Strike now. I don’t think I’ll be keeping up with Nanoha Vivid S2 this time around, and I’m not willing to wait and see if anything will come onto Anime Strike that I might enjoy. Honestly, outside of some season fours that’ll likely be on Crunchyroll I’m not really into much of what I’m seeing. 

Now, as a whole... I personally think I didn’t really pick good anime to watch for this season. This is probably the first time I actively dropped anime I’ve talked about on the Anime Update. Like I said in my first update for this season I planned on traversing Anime Strike for some decent anime coming out for Spring and saved for one, most others just... left a bad taste in my mouth. Anyway, let’s get started on my (more or less) concluding thoughts on what I watched, and sadly... what I dropped in the past few weeks.

So as I’ve said before and will say again, Armed Girl’s Machiavellism has been worth the entire subscription to Anime Strike. All fifteen to twenty bucks of it. This show did just about everything right. It had cute girls, it had actually decent comedy, it had a surprisingly competent male protagonist that didn’t piss me off by being a dense idiot, it had great and even realistic action and martial arts for an anime, and best girl is clearly... debatable. 

I honestly thought I’d be saying Inaba is Best Girl, but... the last episode just has me in a stammering mess every time I try to figure who was indeed the best girl of the six. I’m between Inaba, Rin, and Amou... but anyway, this is a good show all in all. If you guys like martial arts action and want to check it out I believe Anime Strike is free for the first month, so I’d use it to at least marathon this series. And I feel I need to say this again, but I’m seriously surprised Nomura didn’t piss off despite being male main character for a harem series. All of his victories weren’t pulled out the rear to my relief, but were due to being calculative, analytical, and just the occasion burst of good luck. Especially that last episode, that was just so good. But yeah, this might be the one harem series I recommend all of you guys watch. I’ll probably try to get Infall and Ninjaweeb together at some point before my subscription ends and watch again this with them.

So... sadly, this is the only anime I watched to completion on Anime Strike. Everything else I either dropped, or am dropping for various reasons. Some for a loss of interest, others because... I just lost my patience with.

And so we get to Re:Creators, a show who’s slow pacing and quiet character moments are driving me absolutely up a wall. I feel like it wants to be a slow burn with bits of action sprinkled around it like Sengoku Collection. However, the beginning of this show was so damn intense I had expected it to be like Gate where the slow burning, political parts of the show were just as interesting as the action. 

And folks, it's not. 

I know this series is probably going to continue awhile longer since episode 12 is not a good stopping point for this anime,, but I can’t stand the wait anymore. Let me repeat what I said in my second Anime Update of this show:

I came here to watch magical girls battle mechas and LN protagonists duel video game bosses, not… 6 episodes of talking.

Thankfully, the talking ended and we got some big action around episode eleven, but... it wasn’t enough. I can appreciate the character moment Sota got in his explanations in episode 12, but I personally hate Sota as a main character, think he’s cause far too many problems and isn’t being punished enough for them... God, I’m getting Rinne Berlinetta flashbacks from saying that. So yeah, I’ll be dropping this as I end my subscription to Anime Strike. It’s not really good enough for me to keep it, but if it picks up in the second half I’ll at least give it enough month of my time and money... in August. Honestly, I don’t have the patience for this show anymore to watch on a weekly basis.

Speaking of, Sword Oratoria has made me lose my goddamn patience with it. I wanted a show about Ais Wallenstein, not the lesbian elf that wants her senpai to notice her. May you never read these words from my blog ever again, but I don’t give a damn about the yuri undertones in this show. I really don’t. The original Danmachi was shipping Bell and Ais hard with maybe a nod or two toward a ship with Hestia. I was hoping this series would show Ais side of that relationship and explain why she’s so attracted and interested by him. I didn’t get that answered at any point in this show, and when this show skipped Ais’s perspective on her training with Bell, something I was hoping would show me why she’s so interested in him, only to be skipped entirely for Ais’s jealous not-girlfriend to pout and throw fits about it... I was done. Maybe this show will have a kicking finale, but I’m not going to stick around to watch it. 

So, with the Anime Strike Adventure over, let’s move on to what Crunchyroll had to offer.

Sadly, I’m dropping Twin Angel Break as well, but unlike Re:Creators and Sword Oratoria it’s mostly because I don’t think this anime is for me as a demographic. The show is just fine with good plot points and characters. I like the dynamic between Meguru and Sumire and seeing how they play off each other. I find it very interest that despite our heroines efforts, the villains’ plans usually go very smoothly as the looming threat of their grand plan piecing together continues to grow, something that honestly had me interested. However... I don’t know, I think I like the grittier, darker magical girl shows for a reason. Like, the stakes are truly raised and I’m hoping all the characters make it out okay. Nothing’s really clicked for me in this show. It’s a good magical girl show, and even though I’ve only watched six episodes I think it’s competent and I’d recommend it if you’re tired of me talking about the grittier magical girl shows, but... this show just isn’t for me.

Moving on, even though it hasn’t finished yet, Kenka Bancho Otome -Girl Beats Boys- is the other Harem series that is competent in its action, comedy, and romance. The fact that each episode is only eight to ten minutes is a godsend for me too since it didn’t overload me. I watched a bit of the dub with Infall and the dub is pretty good. Hinako sounds a little too girly in my book, but that’s just a nitpick on my end. Episode 11 was the build up for the finale and I can’t wait for it. If you guys want to watch a reverse harem with all the cool martial arts action that I was gushing about that’s in Armed Girl’s, then this is the closest thing to it.

Anyway, that’s Part 1 of the anime update. I’ll be letting you guys know what I’ll be watching next in Part 2 later tonight . Yeah... I need to break this up a little otherwise it’ll get too big. Anyway, as always feel free to ask me for details on my thoughts of other shows, video games, recommendations, anything like that. See you guys later!

[medea10]

My Review of The Rising of the Shield Hero

VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

Yeah, this warning because apparently I curse more than normal here. That should give you a fun indicator of what you’re in for.

Is this a joke? Is Medea really going to watch a recent Isekai anime?

No joke. I am. Yeah, since just about every Isekai I’ve ever watched was made before the year 2012, I thought it was time. And in case you’re not hip to the lingo, Isekai is where a random person is transported to a strange world (different from their’s) and go on an adventure. Things like Escaflowne, InuYasha, Fushigi Yugi, Kyou Kara Maou, and to a far-lesser extent, Sword Art Online! But because I haven’t watched anything made past 2012, and haven’t watched things like Konosuba, ReZero, or Overlord, my knowledge is shit and I should be ashamed.

So I’m going to start with one of 2019’s best animes, The Rising of the Shield Hero.

Naofumi Iwatani was checking out light novels when he was transported into another world. But unlike many other Isekais with this similar setup, Naofumi isn’t alone.

He and three other boys (from alternate timelines of Japan) are transported as well to the kingdom of Melromarc. These four boys are going to be the saviors of the kingdom as the “Four Cardinal Heroes” where they must combat against these entities known as “waves”. However, Naofumi is seen as the weakling from the very beginning due to being the holder of the shield (and is now known as the “Shield Hero”). But it goes even further than that! The king of Melromarc immediately shows his disdain for the shield hero due to the previous shield hero doing something to him. I don’t know what, just fuck the king. The kingdom, the other heroes, and the people of the kingdom did just about everything to Naofumi to make him feel like trash. If he was on fire, they wouldn’t even spit on him to put him out!

Being the lowest-level weapon user, no one will join his team and even if they did…they would swindle him, set him up for failure, and spread the worst lie you could ever lie about. But Naofumi can’t return home due to all four weapon users must be there until they defeat the waves. So Naofumi is stuck in a new world where literally everyone hates him or fears him.

That is until he buys a slave (named Raphtalia) and their EXP points can grow. Along the way, he obtains an egg that hatches into a filolial (later named Filo) who has the ability of turning into a human female. And every now and then, the second princess of Melromarc (named Melty) will come along with Naofumi. Trust me, she’s the nice one in that family.

Let’s watch the struggles and rising of the Shield Hero!

BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: So this is licensed by Crunchyroll (but I think FUNimation dipped it’s cookie in this milk). I know these two companies divorced some time ago, but FUNimation sees no problem piggy-backing off of Crunchyroll when they get a hit. And yes, this got an English dub and because of that, YES I watched the whole thing dubbed! Done by the good folks in L.A.! I gotta say this was a well-done dub. Well, they did one thing right by hiring Erica Mendez to play Raphtalia. Just about everything Mendez plays is friggin’ gold! Here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

JAPANESE CAST: *Naofumi is played by Kaito Ishikawa (known for Kiawe on Pokemon SM, Genos on One Punch Man, Mitsuo on Golden Time, Urui on Tokyo Ghoul :re, Sakakibara on Assassination Classroom, and Rinne on Kyokai no Rinne)

*Raphtalia is played by Asami Seto (known for Officer Jenny on Pokemon SM, Mado on Tokyo Ghoul, Young Yukiatsu on Anohana, and Shizu Delta on Overlord)

*Filo is played by Rina Hidaka (known for Last Order on Index/Railgun, Ririchiyo on Inu x Boku SS, Kohane on xxxHOLiC, Silica on SAO, Nemesis on To Love Ru: Darkness, and Urara on Food Wars)

*Melty is played by Maaya Uchida (known for Norman on The Promised Neverland, Rikka on Chunibyo, Rui on Domestic Girlfriend, Frenda on Railgun, Yoshino on Food Wars, Irina on High School DxD, and Yusa on Charlotte)

ENGLISH CAST: *Naofumi is played by Billy Kametz (known for Jousuke/JoJo on Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Part IV, Osomatsu on Mr. Osomatsu, Metal Lee on Boruto, and Galo on Promare)

*Raphtalia is played by Erica Mendez (known for Ryuko on Kill la Kill, Haruka/Uranus on Sailor Moon redub, Emma on The Promised Neverland, Nico on Love Live, Yuuki on SAO II, and Tsubaki on Your Lie in April)

*Filo is played by Brianna Knickerbocker (known for Rem on Re:Zero, Akane on Durarara x2, Arisa on Love Live, Anna on The Promised Neverland, Iori on Charlotte, and Erica on Berserk 2016)

*Melty is played by Jackie Lastra (known for Conny on The Promised Neverland and Selka on SAO: Alicization)

FAVORITE CHARACTER: I know I’m gonna have fun with the next category, but I think I spent most of this series hating on several people where I forgot to pick a character I liked.

Well folks, I gotta say that I loved Raphtalia. And after her, Filo! Then Elhart, Queen Melromarc, Melty, and Fitoria! With the exception of Elhart, it’s all women! That’s rare! Don’t worry, there’s one woman that has received a restraining order from this category. On with the worst!

VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

Y’all know what’s coming!

DISLIKED CHARACTER: Prior to watching this series, I have gotten several warnings about one particular character! Princess Malty or Myne, whatever people call her. This woman is despised throughout the anime community and even going so far as to say she’s on “horrible character” status left only to infamous characters like Griffith, Makoto Itou, and Shou Tucker. And I’m like, “WOW, what did she do, kill a pope?” I mean seriously, how bad could she possibly…?!

*one episode later*

FUCK THIS BITCH: Oh this bitch can burn at the stake for all I care! Yes, everyone else who treated Naofumi like shit can go jump off a bridge. Because I hold no sympathy for towns-idiots that treat a hero with no respect (as I’ve said before with One Punch Man and Dragon Ball Z)! But Myne just took that zero respect and pushed it to a crispy 425 degrees of fuck-roast! In the first episode, she seemed genuine with pitying Naofumi because no one would join his team. That didn’t even last a whole day. Myne ends up faking a rape by lying to the kingdom that Naofumi sexually assaulted her.

Faking a RAPE!

Faking a FUCKING RAPE!

Bitch, this is 2019 (I KNOW IT AIN’T THAT IN THIS KINGDOM, I’M JUST FUCKING PISSED). Faking a rape is a big, fat, NO-NO!

After he spends the little money he had on her to buy equipment, she double-crosses him by setting him up for immediate trouble and switches to the Spear-Hero side. Well fuck you too, you skank! Have fun with your dickhead Spear Hero. And may that be the last time I ever see you!

*several episodes later*

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! You cheating, lying, slut! Just when you think she can’t possibly get any worse, this bitch takes worse and shoves it off a fucking cliff. As if faking an assault wasn’t bad enough, screwing townspeople for your own gain is another story. She would take over a whole town and give no fucks if it’s destroyed by her or her fuck-face spear-hero. Add to that fuck-cake, every time you run into Naofumi, you find some way to screw him over time and time again. This bitch tampered with a fight between the shield and spear hero so that Naofumi could fail and they could steal his only team member away from him! You have your father, the church, your dickhead boy-toy of yours, and the royals wrapped around your little finger. Myne just continues to be worse than tainted peanut butter. I wish she would catch the worst STD imaginable and die a painful death!

*several more episodes later*

AAAAAAAH gabba da da ffuuuu worble BITCH FACE gararba fruznuss SET FIRE plskay adkkin aidnnlwjsnda UP DONALD TRUMP’S ASS galidamdh amoiejwm wwwaasosoh A POPCICLE! FUCK! AAkajrriaja DIDIA LEJHE KLHAEHAE FYUEEajejioqih3hv SSLLSHE3V ADKDKDDHEI333!!!!

Oh, you do not want a translation from my…whatever the fuck I just wrote. Just know that Princess Malty or Myne is worse than hemroids up the ass. I can’t believe this woman is still around, breathing and shit. Also, I’m tempted in re-writing my Top 10 Least Favorite Anime Character list because Myne would definitely be at #4 after Griffith from Berserk.

Okay…Okay…I think I’m calm now.

WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE CUT THIS FUCKING CUNT’S HEAD OFF LIKE A CHICKEN IN CHINA TOWN?!

Now I’m calm! Now then…

ANYONE ELSE WHO NEEDS TO DIE IN THIS SERIES?: So obviously I hate Bitch and Trash (Myne and the King). And I have the same kind of respect for the townspeople who treat Naofumi like shit. I ain’t got time to be dealing with townsidiots again. But if there was anyone else that should get a mention of how much I want for them to be set on fire and I’ll just sit there drinking my ginger ale, it would be Motoyasu.

Now by no means do I hate him more than Miss Bitch over here. But I hate him on the same level as Shinji from the Fate series (which is now teetering on my top 10). I question why he’s still alive and why no one has introduced his face to a jagged boulder. Unlike the other heroes Ren and Itsuki, this guy has got a vendetta against Naofumi from the get-go. And this was like before the sexual alligations came about. After that incident, this fuckturd tries at every turn to make Naofumi’s life worse than it already is by stealing away his crew and challenging him every chance he gets. And when he’s not doing that, he’s screwing over the townspeople and doing very little to be a “hero” (which is his freakin’ title). Then again, Ren and Itsuki aren’t great heroes either, it’s just I really need to lay into Spear-Dick for the shit he’s done.

SHIPPING: Hmm…aaaaahhhh….eeeeee…urrrrggggh…

Naofumi x Raphtalia: I know Naofumi doesn’t see Raphtalia as a romantic partner and more as a partner on his team, but Raphtalia doesn’t see it that way. She is 100% loyal to Master Naofumi. Who could blame her? Naofumi saved her from a lifetime of enslavement and cured her from an illness she’s had for years. She’s grateful and every other hero is crap in her eyes! She’s worshipped the shield hero since she was younger when she would hear stories about the shield hero. So imagine her worry every time Naofumi talks about going back to his home world, she gets horribly upset. Me being very skeptical here, I can’t really imagine this going any further than team partners. I can’t see at the end of the day Naofumi staying in Melromarc forever or Raphtalia somehow returning to Naofumi’s world when all of this ends. So for now, I’m just going to see where this takes us.

FUNNIEST MOMENT: Whenever Motoyasu gets conked in his frank-and-two-beans by Filo! If anyone deserves to be whammed in the nuts, it’s Motoyasu.

SADDEST MOMENT: I don’t usually mention sad moments in anime anymore, but one moment touched me and that was episode 15 where we learned a little more about Raphtalia’s past. Raphtalia, even after losing her parents in a wave attack, she tries her best to keep a smile on her face. But shortly after that, she and many other demi-humans were taken away from their homes and sold off to a nobleman. This is when we see some pretty inhumane moments where Raphtalia and many of her friends are whipped for the fun of it, starved to death, and sold off to traders.

In this episode, we learn about a few of Raphtalia’s friends (Keel and Rifana) from her younger days. The day Raphtalia got sold off, it looked like Rifana was teetering towards death. When the Shield Hero’s party came to rescue the surviving demi-humans (like Keel), Raphtalia went to see if Rifana could possibly be alive. And if the disturbing picture of Rifana’s skeleton doesn’t churn your stomach, I really don’t know what will. God damn, that was just messed up!

I CANNOT TELL A LIE, THIS ANIME HURT: I know I have sadistic tendencies and take joy in the misery of others. But I seriously cannot enjoy any second of the humiliation and degredation given to Naofumi. And it was because of the abuse put on the Shield Hero that made me feel sick to my stomach just watching all this happen to this guy. I thought it would last for a few episodes at the most, but it carried on a lot further than I imagined. Almost to the very end! And every episode you put on, you just wish for some kind of karma to kick in or for one more person to be nice to Naofumi or something, anything to happen!

But because the king has a vendetta against the previous Shield Hero, Naofumi has had to pay a heavy toll by having every horrible crime or offense thrown at him including rape, murder, attempted murder, cheating, witchcraft, and treason. AND HE COMMITTED NONE OF THESE OFFENSES! So you spend just about 20 episodes watching this poor boy having to go through this hell. I can’t even imagine having to go through this kind of torment and some of these moments make me ill in my stomach and quite pissed off. So like I said, this anime hurts to watch.

ENDING: As it turns out, the kingdom is corrupt under the rule of the king and his daughter, Princess Cunt (yeah, BIG shocker there). How corrupt? Well, they were in cahoots with the church that had their own religion praising only 3 of the Heroes (guess which one they don’t praise)! That was until the pope decided that everything must be wiped away because they are “unclean”. That includes the monarchy, the heroes, and their crew! Thankfully, they were able to put an end to this cult, with a little help from the true leader of Melromarc, Queen Mirelia of Melromarc. She finally shows herself and her powers on the battlefield. And now ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the moment everyone and their mama have been waiting for.

JUSTICE IS SERVED: With the queen’s return, come some harsh sentences to her own family. Her husband, the king and her daughter, Princess Malty! I gotta tell you, seeing these two in chains makes my heart so happy. The king was guilty of summoning the four heroes prematurely and causing a lot of harm to the kingdom of Melromarc with the church. Then the queen puts a seal on Myne’s chest, giving her unimaginable pain whenever she lied. That still didn’t stop the bitch from lying! In one swoop, it’s proven that Naofumi was innocent the whole time and that the king and princess were worse than period cramps. And for their crimes, THEY ARE SENTENCED TO DEATH BY GUILLOTINE!

FUCK YEAH! BRING IT ON!

CUT THEIR FUCKING HEADS OFF!

Yeah…unfortunately for my blood-lust self, that didn’t happen. Instead, Naofumi stopped the queen seconds before blood was to splatter. Claiming that the princess and king should be stripped from their titles and must go through life with new names! The king will be named “Trash” and Malty/Myne will be named “Bitch” (or “Whore” when she’s traveling). Okay, I guess it’s all good. With that, the church of the three heroes is abolished and handled a lot better than I thought.

But seriously Queenie, was it really, REALLY a good idea to keep your daughter alive? I know she’s your own daughter and you felt severe hesitation (in the anime) before calling for her execution. But for fuck’s sake, literally a day after she’s spared from the guillotine, she’s poisoning food meant for her sister Melty, Naofumi, and his friends!

IN THIS AFTERMATH: Now has Naofumi finally obtained acceptance throughout the kingdom? Yes and no! Yes, it’s true that the people of the land respected Naofumi after all he’s done. It’s just that some of the other heroes and castle men who still treat Naofumi with such disrespect. The queen wishes for all four heroes to be treated equally and to get along so that maybe they can defeat the waves without too much trouble. Hell, the queen of the filolials also said the same thing! I think Ren and Itsuki have kinda been on board with this for a while (even if they are kinda dickish about it). It’s just that Motoyasu’s still a condescending dick to Naofumi! Sigh!

FINAL WAVE ATTACK: Final one for now! On their way to another land, Naofumi ends up getting chummy with two travelers (L’Arc and Therese).

We meet these fuckers three episodes before the finale.

They’re bad guys, aren’t they?!

Something like that! Yeah, the next wave attack was coming up real quick. And the heroes have to go up against Glass again (the woman who caused a lot of trouble in the midway point of the series). But it turns out L’Arc and Therese are in cahoots with Glass. But it gets really…complicated here!

Glass and L’Arc are both fan and scythe heroes from another world. And they’re destroying the waves on this side along with destroying the people of this world to prevent catastrophy in their world. Yeah, finale time guys! How many parallel worlds and heroes are there?

READ THE LIGHT NOVEL!

Fuck me! Well, Naofumi and the other hammy heroes were able to stop the wave attack once more. And we even get to watch Queen Melromarc in action again! In this aftermath, Naofumi gets a new member on his team. Yes, it’s another female, but at least this one is older than all the other girls that hang with him (making this a little less ewwwie). Rishia was abandoned by Itsuki’s team for…reasons. So she’s going to join Naofumi after she helped in the last wave attack. And we get some last-moment hopeful scenes as we see things that give me hope for people in this series. Raphtalia’s old friends and homeland is getting back into the swing of things and Naofumi will take control over the land. And we wait for this promoted second and third season Crunchyroll swears by. Seriously guys, when are we getting more Shield Hero?

DON’T KNOW! READ THE LIGHT NOVEL AND STOP ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS!

If you can’t already tell, I liked this series! Yes it was unbelievably painful to watch certain things where all of these people gang up on Naofumi and screw him eight ways from Sunday, but I guess good stories have a little struggle. Except here, it’s a lot of struggling! It was an interesting tale and is giving me a little hope for the Isekai genre as a whole. Will I get into all the other recent ones so I can one day watch Isekai Quartet? Don’t get too cocky! I’ll stick to this and maybe head on over to Konosuba later on.

Rising of the Shield Hero was definitely a tale and I highly recommend it. It’s just that if you’re prone to anger when it comes to absolute injustice, half of this series might be a little unbearable to handle. But there were several great moments (particularly from Raphtalia) that kept me going with this series.

Especially episode 4! Best episode of the series! Her undying devotion for Naofumi was definitely one to behold! I can’t wait to learn more about these different kinds of worlds, kingdoms, and heroes in the upcoming stories. In the meantime I will await for these seasons two and three Crunchyroll assures us are coming…They are coming right? You guys weren’t just blowing smoke up our asses in the last CRX convention, right?

READ THE FUCKING LIGHT NOVEL, YOU AUTISTIC TWAT!

I can’t do it! There are too many chapters!

Currently, both FUNimation and Crunchyroll have the entire series subbed and dubbed.

Okay, great stuff! What’s next on my Amazon/Netflix…or Crunchyroll licensed anime!

Magical Girl Site?

Oh fuck. I heard about that first episode. This is gonna hurt.