#so sociopaths make good de-escalators

[marrow-bone]

Totally fair; but I meant he's acting literally anti-social, I didn't say anti-social pd. Anti-social as in 'literally hates and lashes out at people in general'; 'against society'.

imagine being this much of a sociopath

[trippinsorrows]

through your eyes + au future

a/n: i had this idea and needed to write it. it's a bit into the future, much past where i currently am, so feel free to skip. i'm still posting the next part later this evening, but i just needed to get this out of my head and figured i'd share lol

*gif courtesy of google*

words: 1.6k // warnings: solana is sad, roman is pissed, and their families ain't shit

taglist: @fearlesschimera @sayyestoheav3nn @annfg8 @cyberdejos2 @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @trentybenty @empressdede @tshepisho @southerngirl41 @callmekayd

Solana should have listened to Roman. 

Should have known better than to ever think this was a good idea.

To think that they could have both of their families in the same vicinity and everything would go fine. Granted, the type of division she was expecting has been relatively tame. There hasn’t been any violence, largely due and thanks to the weapon deposit bins by the entrance.

Weapon free establishment and all. 

Yet, she’s not naive enough to think that the lack of guns, knives, and other unmentionables could stop her or Roman’s family from throwing down if they wanted. But, they haven’t. No punches have been thrown nor bones broken. It’s been more of a clear separation. Roman’s family only interacts with each other, and her family interacts with each other.

Not the kind of cohesion she was hoping for but a much better alternative than what it could be.

But, while conflict and violence between the in-laws has, so far, been avoided. There’s still another major issue that has Solana locked in one of the back rooms, sitting on a random chair, crying her eyes out.

The bullying. 

Towards her. 

Towards Roman.

Towards their baby.

It started out light, Solana having to politely shut down a near fight between her brother and Roman.

Wes lifted the beer to his lips, eyeing Roman. “So, how many people have you killed today, Reigns?”

“Wesley!” Solana’s sharp use of his name was conjoined with a disapproving expression. He’s too old for the petty jabs.

Roman, however, simply smiled coldly, scratching his beard as he delivered a chilling warning. “So far none, but you keep fucking talking, and I can change that real fast.”

Thankfully, Solana was able to de-escalate, her sister-in-law, Hazel, prying Wes away before any violence could commence. 

Then there was the conversation Solana unintentionally walked into while conversing with two of her older cousins she’s not as close with.

For good reasons.

“Aren’t you at all worried?”

Solana frowned. “About?”

Her cousin leaned forward, lowering her voice. “Roman as a dad. I mean, he’s not capable of love. Do you really expect him to be a good father?”

There’s no words to describe how much hearing such a thing about the man she loves hurt Solana. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Her other cousin, however, simply rolled her eyes. “I’m just saying, everyone knows that man is a sociopath. You’re better off cutting your losses now, taking the kid to Mexico with your mom’s side of the family, and praying he doesn’t turn out like his psycho dad.”

Solana had to excuse herself for that one. She had nothing nice to say in that moment, but beyond that, she just needed to get a few tears out.

And she did, hoping that would be the last of it, but no, that was just too good of a hope to be true. 

It was the comments overheard by some of Roman’s relatives, however, that did her in.

“I just can’t believe out of all the women, the respectable options who come from more established families, he chose her.”

The other woman snorted, shaking her head. “Right? It’s obvious she was looking for a sugar daddy. What is she, like 25?”

“I heard her father’s not doing well financially and told her to seek out Roman.”

“Makes sense. Look how easy she was. Didn’t waste any time opening up her legs and trapping him with a baby.” The woman rolled her eyes, adding, “at the very least, he could have found a Samoan woman. It’s bad enough he’s afakasi, but this child of theirs? The girl is Mexican and Black. He’ll hardly have any Samoan blood running through his veins. Our Bloodline could die out because of her.”

The first woman to speak snorted, smirking almost as she suggested, “that’s assuming it’s his baby. Roman’s smart though. I’m sure he’ll have a paternity test done as soon as she pushes out that bastard.”

“Assuming ICE doesn’t deport her first.”

The two women fell out in laughter at the same time Solana darted off, desperate to get away and have a safe space to cry. 

It’s all just been too much. Too much hatred spewed for something that should be filled with love and excitement. 

It’s been anything but, and it hurts. 

It hurts a ton. 

The knocking on the door is loud and borderline erratic, Solana quickly wiping her eyes and clearing her throat to inform that she’ll be out in a minute. But, a deep, familiar voice beats her to it.

“Solana.” It’s Roman, and he doesn’t sound happy. “Open the door.”

She blows out a deep breath and does her best to feign a ‘normal’ voice. “Just—just a second.”

“Now, Solana.” Before she can ask why, he adds in a calmer voice,“I know you’re crying.” Damn. 

“So you either let me in or I’ll break this goddamn door down.”

He’ll do it. She knows he will. There’s nothing ever stopping Roman from comforting or being there for her when he knows she’s upset. 

And this would definitely be one of those times. 

Solana sniffles, trying to gather herself as she carefully stands up from the toilet seat. Wiping at her eyes, she flips the lock and is barely able to turn the knob when Roman is opening the door. Stepping back, he closes it behind him and moves his hands to her face, gaze locking with hers.

“What’s wrong?”

So many things, but this isn’t the time or place, so she shakes her head. “N–nothing. I’m just—baby hormones.”

“Bullshit,” he scoffs, voice still surprisingly gentle. “Baby, talk to me. What happened?”

Solana looks away, hating how just that question, coming from him, tone so understanding and soft almost, is enough to pull the truth out of her.

And it does.

“You were right. This was a bad idea. I should have never—” She stops herself, taking a deep, shaky breath. “I just wanted…..I thought….I thought they’d be happy for us.”

“Sol, you know it’s not that simple.” Though his words could be seen as insensitive, the way he says it is anything but. “Who said what?”

She closes her eyes, grasping onto his white button-up shirt. “It wasn’t just…..one person….it’s everybody.” He wipes at her tears, as she continues to feel the emotional weight of it all. “My family saying cruel things about you—”

“Sola—”

“Your family saying things about me, about our baby—”

At that, all gentleness drops and is replaced with something else. Something she knows Roman knows well. 

Anger.

“Who?” It’s one word. One single word that means a multitude of things and none of them good.

Solana shifts her weight, shrugging, “I—I don’t know who they are. Some….some cousins of yours. But, it doesn’t—it doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does fucking matter.” Roman drops his hands from her face to instead take her right hand in his, holding it firmly. “And we gonna address this shit right now.”

Solana's eyes widen a bit. That’s….that’s not what she wanted. “Wait, Roman—”

He’s not listening though. His stride is purposeful and determined, as he leads them out the bathroom, down the hall, and into the main section of the venue where most of their families are gathered. 

Roman guides them over to where the DJ has his setup, Solana gasping as Roman uses his free hand to yank a set of chords out the wall, effectively stopping the music. 

The DJ looks just as confused as most of the guests but cowers away in fear when Roman ‘iffs’ at him, like he’s going to hit him, before snatching the microphone. 

The abrupt ending of the music has attracted most gazes to where Roman and Solana stand, him moving them to the middle where all can see and hear.

He never once releases her hand. 

“Imma say this one time, and one time only.” She swallows, her eyes landing on her parents. Her mom looks confused, while her dad wears the same expression he’s worn since the moment Solana finally came clean about her relationship with Roman.

Disappointed. 

“Cause if I have to address this shit again, it’s not gonna be verbally.” Chills move up and down her spine. There’s not an ounce of her that questions if he’s bluffing or not. Roman doesn’t bluff. If he says it, he means it. “I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks about me. That includes her family and mine, but I’ll be damned if I let any of ya’ll disrespect her or our child.” Solana’s hand naturally moves to her belly, her bump that’s pronounced and especially visible in her white bodycon dress. “We’re together. We’re having a baby. However way any of you feel about it, keep it to your fucking selves, because there’s no reason Solana should be crying at something that’s supposed to be a happy occasion.”

She swallows, noticing how the entire room has gone silent under the deep voice of Roman’s address. There’s not a person who looks uninterested or annoyed. It’s just a sea of various scared and nervous expressions. 

“So, the next time you find yourselves talking shit about her, and especially our baby, understand it will absolutely be the last thing you ever fucking do.” Solana watches Roman begin to hand the microphone to the flabbergasted DJ before he snatches it back, turning once again toward the onlookers. “And one more thing……when you address her, make sure you do it properly.”

Solana’s throat goes dry.  She shakes her head. He can’t be doing what she thinks he’s about to do. “Roman—”

“It’s not Solana Miller.” Oh my God. “It’s Solana Reigns.”

The sea of silence quickly morphs into an ocean of various gasps, exclamations, and even shouts. 

Meanwhile, Roman simply smirks as he sticks the nail in the coffin before dropping the mic on the ground. “—we’re married.”

[strawberry-yougurt]

uhh take some of all Idk

Etho: What if I lied this whole time and I'm actually 18? Doc: Etho, stop trying to get drugs. Etho: Don't suppress my interests.

Etho, handing out popsicles: Which flavor do you want? Bdubs: Blue flavor! Etho: Uh, you mean Blue Raspberry? Bdubs: Blue flavor! Blue flavor! Etho: Blue is not a flavor! Bdubs: BLUE FLAVOR!

Cleo: What is the big deal about borrowing money? I do it all the time! Sometimes, I even pay it back!

Doc: There is no future. There is no past. Don't you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every fact. Xisuma: …All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

Gem: When's the last time you slept? Impulse: Uh… a few days ago, I think. Gem: A few- how many?! Impulse: Uh… starts counting on fingers I need more fingers… Gem: What you need is sleep!

Scar: Do you know that we are made out of atoms? Scar: And atoms never touch each other. Scar: So in my defense, officer. I did not punch this kid.

Xisuma: Do you even know what an amulet is? Doc: Of course I do! I eat amulets sometimes. I like the ones with cheese and onions! Xisuma: Doc, those are omelettes. Doc: Oh. Then I’ve got nothing.

Pearl: Wow, this parking is as straight as I am. Grian: I know I should be focused on the fact that you just came out, but HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING!

Grian: Why would you think any of this was a good idea? Doc: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence. Grian: Doc: I don’t know how you keep forgetting this.

Mumbo: pitches an idea Keralis, impressed: Huh, there might be something here! Grian, under their breath: Yeah, a lawsuit.

Cub , holding up their class notes: And then this doodle of a burrito because when I first read Aristotle, I thought it was pronounced like “Chipotle”. Cub , in shock: Wait a minute, is it “Chip-o-tottle”?

Cub : You disgust me. Mumbo: eating a kitkat sideways I realize this and don’t care.

Doc: Sometimes I like to place my hands on someone’s cheeks, look into their eyes… Doc: …And violently jerk their head until it snaps. Cleo: …That took an unexpected turn. Jevin: So did their neck.

Cleo: Guys it’s a shooting star, let’s make a wish! Cub : I wish for good grades. Etho: Nerd. Cub : Nevermind, I wish upon the shooting star to fall down at a 30° velocity aiming for Etho. :) Cleo: Cub …

Bdubs: Yesterday, I watched Iskall try to eat a decorative rock from Impulse's potted plant. Etho caught them, and told them they can't eat rocks. Iskall started whining something about no food being in the house before walking away.

Ren: You can de-escalate literally any situation by asking ‘are we about to kiss?’ Ren: Doesn't work with getting out of speeding tickets, though.

Iskall I got us matching friendship bracelets, and you say I don't care about our relationship. Stress: These are handcuffs. Iskall: Yeah, 'cause we're partners in crime!

:D

[superwholock-marvel-images]

Through time and space part 7

Part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six

Katie gets a call from Dean, your brothers need your and your sister’s help on a case. The only issue is, is that neither of you have enough money to afford two airline tickets to get to Southeast Iowa Regional Airport, and then money for a cab to take the two of you to Arkey.

“I don’t think we can do it De.” You say looking at the prices on your laptop.

“Aren’t you two with the Doctor?” Sam asks.

“If we were with the Doctor, this would be an entirely different story… but he sent us away and decommissioned the TARDIS, so (nickname) and I are kind of stuck at Baker Street.” Katie adds in as Sherlock and John lumber up the stairs. Both of them look like they got into a fistfight.

“What the hell happened you two?” You as looking up from your computer screen.

“I asked John to punch me in the face… he wouldn’t do it so I punched him.” Sherlock replies. “It escalated from there.”

“I’ll go get the first aid kit.” You say standing up and closing the lid of your laptop and head to the kitchen and grab the first aid kit before handing it to John.

“What, you don’t want to do it?” John jokes.

“You’re more qualified than me Dr. Watson.” Katie snickers softly to herself.

“Do I even want to ask?” Dean speaks up, you momentarily forgot you and your sister were on the phone with your brothers.

"Just my flatmates being themselves."

🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝

When Sherlock hears about your brothers needing help on a hunt, he bribes his brother to give you and Katie airline tickets in order to help Sam and Dean out.

"Thought you guys didn't have the funds to get here." Dean comments when picking you and your sister up from the airport.

“Sherlock bribed the government.” Katie answers as she tosses her duffle bag into the trunk of the car.

“That’s one way how to put it.” You add in as you throw your bag into the trunk then close it. “Sherlock and Mycroft have a weird relationship… rather not go into detail about that.”

While one the road Katie pops a question that has been bothering you since you last talked to the boys on the phone. “Sam, what pulled you back into hunting?” Sam hangs his head slightly.

“Something murdered my girlfriend, I guess I just want to find whatever killed her and get even.” Sam answers.

“So, you’re basically becoming Dad… one who doesn’t care about his family, just wanting to get revenge.” You speak up.

“No.” Sam turns to face you. “I said even, not revenge. There is a huge difference Y/N.”

“If you say so… what are we going after anyway?”

“Not sure yet. Something is causing people to drop dead left and right. The latest victim supposedly died from Creutzfeldt-Jakob.” You lean forward and prop your elbows against the top of the other bench seat. Your interest piqued.

“The human mad cow disease?”

“Yes… do I even want to know how you know that?”

“John’s a doctor.”

“Oh that makes sense.”

🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝

“I’m going to pretend that Dean didn’t just do that.” You say softly to your sister. Katie giggles. Dean didn’t want to say the four of you were siblings (again) Dean decided to call Sam ‘honey’ and slap his ass.

“Would you rather him doing that to you?” She replies.

“Oh hell no.”

“You just proved my point little sis.” Katie then drapes her arm around your shoulders and the two of you go off to do some investigating of your own.

While on the road, Dean tells Sam that Dad checked up on him while at school just to keep an eye on him. “Now when he found out Y/N left the country, he panicked a bit.” Dean explains.

“He calmed down when he caught me talking to you.” Katie adds in.

“Please tell me he didn’t hear Sherlock shooting the wall, or anything involving a case… did he?” You ask in response.

“He overheard the case with the woman in pink, but that is it I believe.” You lean your head against the window with a relieved sigh. “Dad said something along the lines of glad she’s putting her hunting skills to good use.”

“Did he really say that?” You ask trying not to laugh, without much luck.

“Yup.”

“That is freaking hilarious. The only time I’ve used my hunting knowledge is when Sherlock put the severed vampire head in the fridge.” Dean actually pulls off the road and throws you a look.

“Did you just say your roommate had a severed vampire head in the fridge?” He asks.

“Yup. Trust me, Sherlock always has crazy experiments hidden in the kitchen… you get used to it after awhile.”

“I don’t know if I like you spending time with that psychopath.”

“High functioning sociopath there is a difference.”

“Still, I don’t know if you should stay there.”

“Even after Sherlock saved my life more than once?”

“I don’t want to see you hurt okay, I’m just trying to keep you safe.”

“Dean, Sherlock might be a little crazy… but he is a good man, maybe someday even a great one.”

“Why are you sticking up for him exactly?” You suddenly find the impala’s floor incredibly interesting.

“Because we’re a family.” You answer incoherently.

“Didn’t catch what you said (nickname).” Sam says. You sigh and move your gaze to the ceiling of the car.

“I said because we’re a family.” Ignoring the shocked looks of everyone you pull up your shirt slightly revealing the scar from the sniper bullet. “When Moriarty used John and I for bait for Sherlock, I got hit by a sniper bullet… John removed the bullet then stitched me up, Sherlock literally spent the next two days keeping me company and making sure I wouldn’t tear the stitches!” That last part is a lie but you really don’t want to explain what happened with the Doctor during World War Two. You let your shirt fall back over your most recent scar.

🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝

“Hey, guys!” You say cheerfully when you get a video call on your laptop from Sherlock and John. You sit down on the foot of one of the hotel beds.

“There’s our source of sarcasm.” John jokes.

“What makes me the source of sarcasm?” You ask with a shit-eating grin plastered on your face.

“Sherlock just insults everyone, and well you know what happened last time I used sarcasm.”

“Oh yeah I know. You almost got yourself and your date killed because of it.”

“Thanks for the reminder (nickname).”

“You’re welcome. How’s Baker street?”

“Boring.” Sherlock answers for John. “Haven’t had a decent case in weeks.”

“What about that case with Irene Adler?”

“Nothing… she gave me her phone- it’s password locked. I can’t get into it.”

“I can hack into it if you want me to.”

“You know how to hack?” John asks a bit shocked.

“I know how to do a lot of things John, Sherlock send me the phone’s info and I’ll see what I can do.”

“Information sending now.” Sherlock answers. Two seconds later your phone goes off.

“Got it. Let’s see here.” You open up the message from Sherlock and get to work.

“What are you doing?” Dean asks entering the motel room and setting down the bag of food.

“Currently trying to hack into someone’s phone.” You answer. “Got anything yet Sherlock?”

“Nope, it’s still locked.” Sherlock answers. “Also you made John uneasy when you typed in that last password.”

“Ghost typing, I know. Hey, it’s better than a poltergeist or even a demon for that matter.”

“You got a point there.”

“Y/N have you gotten any form of sleep recently?” Dean asks as he hands you a cup of coffee.

“My body is still on London time… and thanks, De.” You answer as you move your laptop off your lap and onto the bed. You take a sip of your drink. John then reappears on camera. One look and he knew that you’re just running on energy fumes, he also notices how pale you are currently.

“Y/N, take the day off.” John says in a kind, yet a bit demanding tone.

“I don’t know if I can though John… I mean I kind of have to help everyone out here.”

“Well I’m not asking. As your friend as well as your doctor I’m telling you to take the day off and get some rest.”

“I’ll make sure that she will.” Dean says speaking up. You sigh to yourself, great Dean is now going to baby you to no end.

“Is it bad I’d rather have Moriarty shoot me again over my brother treating me like a baby?” You ask in response.

“Hmm… sounds like Mycroft.” Sherlock points out.

“Thanks for the boost of confidence Sherlock.”

🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝

You manage to catch a few hours of sleep when Dean was out with Sam and Katie, not a lot though. You wake with a start when the motel room door slams open. “Damn hunter’s instincts.” You mutter when you see it’s just your siblings. You roll back over hoping to catch a few more hours, Dean has other ideas though.

“Hey since you’re awake we need your help.” He says.

“With what?” You ask your voice heavy with sleep.

“The hunt what else kiddo?”

“Thought John said that I look like shit and need the day off.”

“Since when have we obeyed the rules?”

“You’re a dick.” You then start to yawn.

“I know this. While you were out Dad called.”

You didn’t hear ‘Dad called’ you hear ‘Sam bawled.’ You yawn again.

“Not sure what that has to do with me… can I go back to sleep now?”

“No. We’re hitting the road in ten minutes.” You groan and roll out of the covers and drowsily start packing your things.

“Your going to get nowhere when you’re packing while half asleep.” Katie says helping you out with your bag and things making sure that you didn’t leave anything behind. By the time the four of you are on the road you’re using Katie as a pillow. You’re such a sound sleeper you don’t know Sam and Katie left until you and Dean are almost in a small town in Indiana.

“Hey Sleeping Beauty awakens.” Dean jokes.

“Not funny.” You answer. “Where’s Sammy and Katydid?” You rarely call Katie, Katydid- it just slips out time to time.

“You slept through that whole bit… anyways it’s just you and me at the moment, kiddo.” You stretch popping your back.

“When was the last time that it was just the two of us?”

“Hunting, never.” Your brother answers drumming his fingers against the steering wheel. “Spending quality time together, you were in kindergarten. Sam and Katie weren’t out of school yet- I took you to go get some ice cream.”

“I remember that… it was just before Mother’s Day and I was still coping with my mom’s death.”

“You barely started talking to us again.” You laugh lightly. You and Dean talk the rest of the way to the town.

“Dean, wait a second- look at that.” You say pointing to the apple orchard.

“It’s an orchard, nothing special about it.” Dean replies.

“Not the orchard. I was meaning the scarecrow…”

“Oh.”

“Want to check that creepy son of a bitch out before we head to town?”

“I don’t see why not.” The two of you explore the orchard, you also take a few photos of the scarecrow on your phone.

“Different human body parts… that’s so not creepy.”

“Know what this thing is?”

“It’s not a scarecrow that’s for sure. It’s a pagan god…”

“How do you know?” Dean asks.

“I’ll explain it back in at the car… right now I think we should get the fuck out of here.”

“Good point.” You two get out of the orchard, an idea starts to form.

“Dean what if the two of us go into town at different times, you go in now, I’ll join you a half an hour later so they don’t suspect anything and I can get more information on the pagan god.” You suggest.

“That’s a great idea.”

“Could I have the keys so I can get the research.” Dean laughs and tosses you the Impala's keys.

“Hope you remember how to drive.”

“Of course I remember how to drive.”

A half an hour later you show up and meet up with your brother, the two of you pretend to be strangers. When the two of you get locked in the cellar your phone starts to ring. “You have signal in here?” Dean asks.

“Yeah… the Doctor did something to my phone so I always have signal.” You pull out your phone and put it on speakerphone. “Hello?”

“Thank God you answered.” Sam says. “I’ve been trying to get ahold of Dean without luck.”

“Dean doesn’t have signal.”

“You do though?”

“Ask Katie to explain it, her phone is the same way.”

“Anyways, where are you?”

“Currently in a cellar.”

“About to become scarecrow food.” Dean adds in. You hear footsteps coming towards you.

“Gotta go. Sorry guys.”

🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝

-Sam POV-

When Y/N says that they have to go, I share a look with Katie. We silently agree to go back for them. The two of us say fair well to Meg and we hotwire a car and drive to where Dean and Y/N are.

“Sam, there’s Dean’s car.” Katie points out.

“Good eye Katie.” I reply. Once parked the two of us run into the orchard. We find our siblings relatively quickly. “Dean, Y/N?” I ask.

“Oh! Oh, I take everything back I said. I’m so happy to see you. Come on.” Dean says as I untie him and Katie unties Y/N. “How’d you get here?”

“We stole a car.” I answer, Dean laughs lightly.

“Keep an eye on that scarecrow.” Y/N states.

“What scarecrow?” Katie asks.

“We should go… NOW!” Y/N exclaims with wide eyes. The four of us take off running. The next day we burn the oldest tree in the orchard so all these sacrifices will stop. The four of us then leave town not looking back.

← ← ← ← ← ← ← ← ← ← ← ← ← ← ← ← → → → → → → → → → → → → → → → →

@the-third-winchester-warrior

@winchesters-favorite-girl

@caroldanversinatardis

@flannels-and-rocksalt

@always-keep-writing-spn

[gethealthy18-blog]

7 Reasons People Lie When They Don’t Need To

New Post has been published on https://healingawerness.com/getting-healthy/getting-healthy-women/7-reasons-people-lie-when-they-dont-need-to/

7 Reasons People Lie When They Don’t Need To

Harini Natarajan Hyderabd040-395603080 September 30, 2019

To lie is human. People lie in one out of three to five interactions on an average (1). Bella De Paulo, a psychologist at the University of Virginia, conducted a research titled, “The Many Faces of Lies.” According to the study, people mostly lied about their feelings and opinions to either hide their inadequacies or not hurt somebody’s feelings (2).

Over the years, there have been many theories and perception to identify a liar. Some of the signs include averting gaze, blinking, nervousness, fake smiles, incoherence in speech, inconsistency in statements, and emphatic language (3).

If you are dealing with compulsive or pathological liars, it becomes important to understand why they lie. Listed below are seven reasons people lie. Take a look.

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Why Do People Lie?

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1. To Manipulate People

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The biggest liars are manipulators. This particular personality is known as a Machiavellian personality. Machievellianists are people who lie for selfish reasons. They resort to compulsive lying by using unethical and socially offensive tactics. This is mainly done with the purpose of achieving higher status or power in the society.

It does not really come as a surprise that the more of this trait you have, the higher is your probability of being a compulsive liar. Also, these people end up using self-oriented beneficial lies a lot more often than they would for protecting others.

People who are generally manipulative are a lot more inclined towards using a situation to their advantage. This is done to achieve precise goals, such as sex, status, love, money, or power, even if they are short-lived. Hence, with this type of lie, there is no other beneficiary – apart from themselves.

2. To Be Socially Desirable

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Now, this one is a tricky way to lie in terms of understanding the beneficiary. A socially desirable person is one who wishes to gain more and more acceptance in society. They are continually thinking and wondering if the others would approve of them or their actions.

People who lie for a particular benefit are constantly risking their reputation. Their need for desirability is at a much higher risk here as well. It may be interesting to note that people who want social desirability have never lied enough to reaching any sort of significance in statistics.

3. To Protect Someone

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Not all lies are selfish. Sometimes, people lie to protect their loved ones – spouse, sibling, friend, or colleague – from harm or grief. For instance, it might be a friend who compliments her best friend’s outfit, even though it isn’t great, to not hurt her feelings. The cost of veering from honesty is not undesirable here, and it may be far more acceptable in general.

These lies are aimed at making someone look or feel better, prevent hurting or embarrassing them, or protecting them from punishment.

4. For Better Self-Esteem

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Good self-esteem is an integral part of recognizing one’s self-worth. People who lack self-esteem or have a low self-esteem tend to lie a lot more as compared to people with the right level of self-esteem. This means that the lesser the sense of self-esteem, the higher the incidence of lies.

According to Robert Feldman, a psychologist at the University of Massachusetts, people lie when their self-esteem is threatened. Such people think that lying will help boost other’s perception of them. They lie to chalk out a better identity for themselves and gain social acceptance.

5. To Cover Up Anxiety And Personality Disorders

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Anxiety disorders are one of the most common mental illnesses, and they affect around 40 million people in the US (4). People who lie due to anxiety do it so that they receive a little boost of self-confidence.

Anxiety-prone people are often found telling lies that are beneficial to them.

People with narcissitic personality disorders and psychopathic or sociopathic traits lie to deceive or manipulate people for their benefit. Some even lie as it gives them sadistic pleasure and a feeling of being superior to others.

6. To Feel In Control Of Situations

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Some people resort to lying to control a situation and influence its outcome such that they get the reactions or decisions they want. Often, such people feel that the truth is inconvenient as it is not aligned to their version of things.

A few people also lie for the sheer thrill of it to see to what extent they can get away with their lies. They do this to test their power and radius of influence. Controlling a response by altering the truth creates a false sense of reality between the liar and the receiver. This may lead to bias and wrong judgments as the decision is based on misinformation.

7. To Not Hurt Others And Avoid Confrontation

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Another reason people avoid telling the truth is to prevent escalating a negative situation. They feel that they can protect feelings, and a few white lies can save the situation.

One common example of this is when your friend is trying to get out of a plan and keeps lying about his location. Another example is ending an awkward conversation on the phone by saying that there’s someone at the door or you are getting another call.

The person lies because, according to them, lying can have more benefits than negative consequences. In such situations, people end up lying, fearing punishment or the other party’s unpleasant reaction to the truth. For instance, a student may lie about his grades to avoid a possible confrontation with his parents.

You need to understand one thing here – lying isn’t ideal in most cases. However, it does not mean that it is done with harmful intentions every time.

The main aim of our article is to make you more aware and develop more understanding of a situation and the motive behind somebody lying. Now that you know why people lie, think twice before judging someone the next time for telling a lie.

We hope this article was informative. Post your feedback and suggestions in the comments box below.

4 sources

Stylecraze has strict sourcing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical associations. We avoid using tertiary references. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.

Everybody Else Is Doing It: Exploring Social Transmission of Lying Behavior, Plos One, US National Library of Medicine, National Institutes of Health. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4198136/

The Many Faces of Lies, Department of Psychology, University of California, Santa Barbara, CA. https://smg.media.mit.edu/library/DePaulo.ManyFacesOfLies.pdf

A WORLD OF LIES, Journal of Cross-cultural Psychology, US National Library of Medicine, National Institutes of Health. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2957901/

Facts & Statistics, Anxiety and Depression Association of America. https://adaa.org/about-adaa/press-room/facts-statistics

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Harini Natarajan

Source: https://www.stylecraze.com/articles/why-do-people-lie/

[dydturktek]

Nem Kurutma | Nem Alma | Rutubet Kurutma | DYD 444 0 719

Just how to deal with the Ex who would like to Punish You

Just how to deal with the Ex who would like to Punish You

None of us want to consider the reality that is harsh an individual who when liked us happens to be off to harm and also discipline us, however it’s true.

Bitter, disgruntled and dismissed ex’s seek vengeance in every quantity of means, including functions of physical physical physical violence, bullying, intimidation, harassment, passive aggressive behavior, quiet indifference and utilising the kids as pawns. Let’s look at four of the very most ways that are common harmed and punish their former lovers, why they are doing it plus some good options to the form of destructive behavior.

# 1. Putting kiddies within the Crossfire Ex’s can became therefore ruthless, vicious and contentious they falsely accuse their ex-husband or ex-wife, or soon-to-be ex, of youngster punishment, domestic violence, alcoholism, infidelity, unlawful functions an such like. Brainwashing young ones and switching them against their other moms and dad produces a scenario that is no-win of loyalties when you look at the psych of a kid.

Another method of placing young ones within the crossfire will be discipline your ex lover over time with silent disdain. This hurtful kind of incivility forces kids of divorce or separation into walking on eggshells round the bitter, estranged moms and dad — and being re-traumatized by the ever-present stress and animosity they choose through to.

# 2. Violent Aggression Statistics reveal that domestic physical physical violence and murder that is spousal pandemic inside our culture. The pain sensation and rage of marital disputes escalate to a boiling point — and somebody gets harmed. The cruelty, brutality, incivility and traumatization brought on by vengeful physical physical violence can perpetuate a very long time of mayhem.

# 3. Slander and Public Shaming Discrediting and disgracing an ex by perpetuating lies, exposing secrets and exaggerating transgressions are made to permanently damage their reputation. The consequences tend to be intentionally irreparable and devastating.

# 4. Passive Aggressive Behavior Passive-aggressive behavior is a cowardly and form that is dangerously sneaky of. Frequently referred to as the sly behavior of a “wolf in sheep’s clothing,” this indirect type of payback can lead to getting individuals fired, switching children against their other moms and dad, destroying friendships, disrupting household relationships, causing pecuniary hardship, an such like.

Why? An ex that is experiencing betrayed, harmed, abandoned and/or rejected may paint a grossly altered, one-sided picture of their previous partner — why their wedding failed. Using up residence as a “victim,” they create a cynical narrative and project blame onto their partner, instead of using any duty and/or ownership for his or her component into the demise of the relationship https://bestbrides.org/asian-brides. In terms of they’re worried, their ex is bad, wicked, ungrateful, dishonest, and a “lost soul” as you ex-husband that is slanderous it. They, having said that, are great, righteous, truthful, lovable and enlightened souls that are yet unlucky have already been victimized.

Insecure, low self-esteem and sociopathic ex’s can temporarily bolster their ego’s and feel much better about by themselves by achieving this. They find respite from the unsettling emotions of inadequacy and failure that often accompany a breakup. Denial and self-deception are utilized as powerful tools of avoidance. Additionally, they are able to rationalize, justify (and reason) any discomfort, disquiet, harassment or punishment that is outright inflict to their ex’s.

Options to Punishing an Ex

It is understandable that lovers suffer great heartache and grief whenever love goes sideways. The discomfort of loss is debilitating, and will be unmanageable; therefore can the anger and hatred that arise from betrayal, failure, abandonment and pity. Listed here are five methods and must “take the high road” after a breakup if you’re anyone inflicting pain and punishment. Doing these specific things will avoid things from escalating into destructive, dangerous and behaviors that are hurtful protect your kids, restore your integrity, activate your resilience and set the dining table for an improved future:

1. Acknowledge your pain and distress that is psychological. 2. Own up into the proven fact that the problem is now (is that is becoming difficult handle and that you might be/are harming other people. 3. Make the choice to just take the “high road” rather than let your hurt and anger to escalate any more. The false vow of revenge is so it’s likely to cause you to feel better. And assist you to achieve justice. But neither holds true. 4. Seek professional assistance and guidance to de-escalate your hurt and anger. Counselors, practitioners and divorce or separation coaches makes it possible to discover ways that are constructive vent/express your hurt feelings and commence curing your heart. 5. Stop seeing your self as being a target and blaming each other, their loved ones, buddies or therapist. You both share a few of the duty for just what occurred and owning as much as your component could be the insurance that is best you won’t take place once more in the next relationship. 6. You are an ongoing work in progress. Catch yourself backsliding or turning to punishing behavior. And Prevent! No level of revenge will probably be satisfying or undo the last. Stay glued to your contract and make the road that is high.

Because you left them, here are some ways to consider helping yourself if you’re the one being hurt and/or punished by an ex, possibly:

1. Some ex’s are masters at convincing everybody that you’re the guy that is bad threw in the towel in your wedding — and they will be the target. “My son ended up being furiously furious beside me for making his father” one woman reported. “’Mom, on you, you should stay,’ he’d argue.” 2. Your children, family and friends may be “siding” with your ex if he never hit or cheated. As damaging as that is, so that as much in a better frame of mind to set things right as you’d like to strike back, slowing down will put you. 3. The simple kinds of mental abuse, neglect, careless and behavior that is corrosive kill a wedding are never as observable as physical punishment, addiction and alcoholism, infidelity, economic mismanagement along with other breaches of trust that justify closing a married relationship. 4. You have actually every right to guard your self and look for protection from a bully. This could necessitate calling law enforcement, protective solutions or legal counsel. Chatting straight to the kids, household, buddies, next-door next-door neighbors and peers who’ve been afflicted by your ex’s slanderous feedback (without becoming slanderous yourself) may also be helpful issues. 5. Move on as best you can easily. The profits on return to get too greatly embroiled in ex-wars is quite bad. You may be best off exercising good self-care with people who lift your spirits as you recover from the ordeal of a breakup and surrounding yourself.

Ex’s whom punish and people who will be attempting to free on their own of the period of hurt, anger and revenge deserve another opportunity. After the above recommendations will provide you with the opportunity that is best to understand from heartache and failure – and start to become the higher, smarter, more relationship ready version of your self.

Closing a relationship in never ever effortless, but we are able to elect to forge comfort as opposed to wage war. You both, as well as your kiddies, deserve the opportunity to continue on with your life and find delight once again. Permitting get and moving forward with this life takes place whenever we place the past ourselves and our partner for not knowing/doing better, show one another respect and allow ourselves to feel sorrow for the bad and gratitude for the good (including children) that came from our time together behind us, stop playing the victim, take responsibility for our part, forgive.

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[johnnywilsonusa]

Rules for A Gunfight

Came across this ” Rules for a gunfight ” post this week and thought it was funny, and strangely somewhat helpful. A few things before getting into it:

1- Valid point. This is where your EDC conversations happen. I never carry because I think or want something to happen, I carry because I know its always a possibility. Remember, It is better to be a warrior in a garden than to be a gardener in a war.

2- Special shout out to 22 gun club on this one. I usually don’t plug companies in like this in a blog, Im just giddy with excitement on my new ability to train without going broke.

4- Fuck that. Stance is something that becomes automatic due to training. I basically laugh this point off. I get where they are trying to go with it, but shows a lack of commitment to excellence, and lack of training is a good way to get yourself, or an innocent, killed (missed shots keep flying you know)

Special thanks to General Mattis for #21, it’s one of my favorite lines.

#23- Best point made. I’d rather die an old man, having trained my whole life, never having to use any of it in a real life situation.

#24- 9mm is plenty effective, but i do favor the .40S&w for defensive rounds, so, half agree?

#26- TRAIN, TRAIN, TRAIN!

#27- Unless you’re a sociopath, or they’re ISIS, or a child rapist… Ok, so maybe there are some people that you would feel way less remorse for than others. 

Rules For A Gunfight

Forget about knives, bats and fists. Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of your friends who have guns. Bring four times the ammunition you think you could ever need.

Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammunition is cheap – life is expensive. If you shoot inside, buckshot is your friend. A new wall is cheap – funerals are expensive

Only hits count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.

If your shooting stance is good, you’re probably not moving fast enough or using cover correctly.

Move away from your attacker and go to cover. Distance is your friend. (Bulletproof cover and diagonal or lateral movement are preferred.)

If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a semi or full-automatic long gun and a friend with a long gun.

In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.

If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and running. Yell “Fire!” Why “Fire”? Cops will come with the Fire Department, sirens often scare off the bad guys, or at least cause then to lose concentration and will…. and who is going to summon help if you yell “Intruder,” “Ruger” or “Winchester?”

Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting standards will be more dependent on “pucker factor” than the inherent accuracy of the gun.

Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.

Stretch the rules. Always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.

Have a plan.

Have a back-up plan, because the first one won’t work. “No battle plan ever survives 10 seconds past first contact with an enemy.”

Use cover or concealment as much as possible, but remember, sheetrock walls and the like stop nothing but your pulse when bullets tear through them.

Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.

Don’t drop your guard.

Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees. Practice reloading one-handed and off-hand shooting. That’s how you live if hit in your “good” side.

Watch their hands. Hands kill. Smiles, frowns and other facial expressions don’t (In God we trust. Everyone else keep your hands where I can see them.)

Decide NOW to always be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.

The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get.

Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet if necessary, because they may want to kill you.

Be courteous to everyone, overly friendly to no one.

Your number one option for personal security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.

Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not start with anything smaller than “4”.

Use a gun that works EVERY TIME. “All skill is in vain when an Angel blows the powder from the flintlock of your musket.” At a practice session, throw your gun into the mud, then make sure it still works. You can clean it later.

Practice shooting in the dark, with someone shouting at you, when out of breath, etc.

Regardless of whether justified or not, you will feel sad about killing another human being. It is better to be sad than to be room temperature.

The only thing you EVER say afterwards is, “He said he was going to kill me. I believed him. I’m sorry Officer, but I’m very upset now. I can’t say anything more. Please speak with my attorney.” -Toby Allred

 Comments?

The post Rules for A Gunfight appeared first on Deimos Development Group.

source https://www.ddgtactical.com/rules-for-a-gunfight/ from Deimos Development Group http://ddgtactical.blogspot.com/2018/01/rules-for-gunfight.html

[sevenbates]

Petulance & Firepower

You probably noticed this week that we've got a pretty big problem with a sizable number of people in this country thumbing their nose at the safety of their fellow Americans. It might make you question how they can think this way. How they reached their conclusions.

You're probably curious why they're acting like angry, petulant children who want unfettered access to their toys, regardless of how sensible people are trying to explain that it's dangerous.

Well, that's not a caricature of your friends and family. That's an accurate description, and if you want to know how they reached this point in their reasoning, look no further than the shared sense of resentment and bitterness you find in every one of them.

Do you think they woke up this morning, hoping their neighbors would be shot and killed? Do you think these friends of yours who quote gun lobby rhetoric, started the day off with hopes that Americans would be murdered?

Of course they don't.

Your gun-loving friends and family are normal people. They're not mentally deranged, and they're likely not immoral sociopaths either.

What they are, however, are spoiled brats. Like many who dig in their heels, because they want something and they resent anyone who suggests they shouldn't have it, they've completely disregarded empirical evidence, reason, and logic - because they have become emotionally invested in a delusional lie.

People do some pretty dumb things when they believe in untrue things. We're all susceptible to this. Every one of us is capable of buying into something and seeing enough people around us agreeing with it, that we think it's a valid position.

America is a country that pioneered a great experiment of liberty. For most of our history, we were the bleeding edge when it came to discussions about what a democracy can be, and how it can serve society. By the end of the 20th century however, we were eating the dust of numerous other democracies who'd taken our first steps and traveled much further when it comes to things like serving society and protecting it.

Just that statement alone stings a lot of people. It just sort of chaps their ass to suggest that we're not #1 at everything. Learning to accept that we might make mistakes and that those mistakes might be because we were very emotional and biased, is something that requires intellect and compassion.

It's something most of your friends and family are fully capable of, but you're going to have to speak to them about this if you want to see change. Continuing to hope the story blows over, like the last dozen or so mass shootings, puts the blood of the victims on your hands as well.

We can't remain silent and just hope that this is something that gets fixed when a bunch of old people die off. This is a challenge for *our* generation. It's an important one, so we should take it seriously. No, it won't be comfortable. Yet, it needs to be done anyway.

"If it is to be, it is up to me."

Those other countries I mentioned before? It's most of the democracies on Earth. We are the odd man out. Most other countries have figured out how to limit gun deaths, without completely banning firearms. We really have, and it's not because their cultures are different, or because their populations are smaller, or any other nonsensical idea that doesn't hold up to scrutiny.

Regardless of the boogeyman rhetoric that gets tossed around in our neck of the woods, these countries were able to provide their citizens with a fraction of the gun deaths, and they don't have jackbooted stormtroopers in the streets. They've just got a de-escalated weapons market.

How were they able to limit access to certain firearms for civilians, and yet still maintain robust sport shooting communities and home defense firearm ownership? What's different for them? Why is this still a problem for us?

The difference between America and those other countries is that those other countries are perfectly fine with learning from somebody else's mistakes. We really don't like doing that. We're #1.

So it's important to keep in mind as you speak to your friends and family about this topic, that they are driven by some motivations that are tangled up with their sense of nationalism and pride. Suggesting we can do something better, is to imply that we aren't the best at something already and that really doesn't sit well with people who have *need* for this.

Think of the people I'm speaking about. Think about how they live. Think about the music they listen to. Think about the clothes they wear, the stickers they put on the back of their vehicles, the memes they share on social media, and think about the heroes they worship. Look at the patterns.

These are people who have an emotional need for America to be the best. They come from families with investment in the greatness of this country. When they talk, they reference "good old days" Many wistfully yearn for an era in our history when they felt things were so much "simpler". You'll hear them regularly complaining that we've never tried their ideas fully before. You'll hear them say we've only half-assed it.

Think about these people in your life. Think about how much they can't stand complicated solutions; how they avoid problems that aren't going to provide them with an immediate, emotional satisfaction by flipping a switch.

Embracing the complicated, and putting yourself in someone else's shoes, is not easy to do. Regardless of your background or education level, this is a challenge for most human beings.

Your gun loving friends have the extra problem of an entire industry, manufacturing baloney to support their delusional ideas. It's literally beneficial for them to stoke this fire, and keep your friends and family scared, buying ammo and building a subculture to belong to.

FBI crime data is black and white. Interpol crime data is black and white. There is no conjecture about the numbers. Other countries that allow their citizens to own long rifles and shotguns, but limit civilian access to handguns, have virtually no gun crime compared to us.

On average, America suffers 10,000 - 13,000 gun deaths a year. These are people who were murdered, I don't count suicides in this statistic, just people killed in gun crimes. Most other countries, even when you adjust for their population sizes, barely reach a small fraction of our numbers.

Some countries have taken this even further. They've limited all firearm access for citizens, and they have their own unique set of statistics. I'm personally not a fan of this approach, and chances are you won't like that approach either, but be prepared to be accused of wanting to take all the guns.

Like you, I've grown tired of defending the FBI or Interpol because people just can't accept the truth, kicking and screaming as you try to drag them near it just to read. The validity of your data is irrelevant to people who are emotionally incapable of accepting the the truth.

It is for these people that I am speaking to you today.

Understand that your friends who are emotionally invested in this topic, can usually only reach a point of rationality if they have a strong emotional reason to divest themselves from their position.

Often it takes grim realization to snap out of a delusion. The nonsensical idea that only "good guys with guns can stop bad guys with guns" was eroded for numerous gun-rights activists at this music festival in Vegas over the weekend.

Josh Abbot, musician who played on the stage a few hours before the shooting, was present for the carnage:

“I’ve been a proponent of the 2nd amendment my entire life. Until the events of last night. I cannot express how wrong I was. We actually have members of our crew with [Concealed Handgun Licenses], and legal firearms on the bus. They were useless.

We couldn’t touch them for fear police might think we were part of the massacre and shoot us. A small group (or one man) laid waste to a city with dedicated, fearless police officers desperately trying to help, because of access to an insane amount of firepower.

Enough is enough." - Josh Abbot

Josh Abbott is a good human being, just like your friends and family. He simply needed a gruesome familiarity with how useless and impotent civilian firearm ownership is in situations like this. Make no mistake, there were numerous "good guys with guns" on hand for this massacre.

It doesn't matter how many videos you've watched of Rambo wannabes shooting would-be robbers in 7-11s across this country. They still only account for a small proportion of the 1% of all justified gun deaths. This delusional fantasy of becoming the hero, only fuels this unhealthy mindset anyway. It's such a tiny number of people yet such a large number of us want to have the opportunity, or at least not be denied it.

Then, like Abbott, you weigh the suffering of others versus your desire for a thing. Clarity comes to those who care.

When I moved to California from Texas, I disliked not having access to the fireworks I grew up with. I wanted to shoot Roman candles and teach my children how to celebrate Independence Day the way I did. These were family traditions that have been passed down for years. They were important to me. I couldn't even Envision a 4th of July without them. It felt like I was having my America taken from me. Seriously. I was morose about it.

Of course I trusted myself and my extensive training with pyrotechnics. Of course I knew that I took the time to inform myself of the proper safety procedures necessary to be a law-abiding fireworks user.

I was very resentful all my neighbors who couldn't be trusted to not burn down our neighborhoods. We live in a tinderbox and many of my neighbors have wooden roofs. Of course the state of California imposed restrictions on shooting ignited things in the air. Of course they limited our access to the things I wanted most.

And of course I was begrudgingly willing to accept a limitation on the fireworks that fly through the air, because the safety of the people around me is more important than my petulant desire to have this thing that I feel I'm entitled to, as a law-abiding American.

You bet your ass I was resentful and upset about it. You bet I bitched about it. You bet your ass that it saves lives and you know what, it doesn't make my family traditions any less real or meaningful to my children.

It was a bitter pill to swallow, much like it's difficult to accept that civilians shouldn't have unfettered access to firearms.

Should all firearms be banned? Of course not. There aren't really any sizable number of people who want everyone to have all of our guns taken away. Just remember however, your friends and family are under the impression that there are.

See, the gun lobby has even been able to personify their Boogeyman. They've been able to manufacture a caricature of a liberal who wants to *take* things from "Real Americans™" like the rest of us.

There's a preposterous sense of entitlement and resentment that is shared by everyone of the people that keep making these bogus arguments. They are convinced they know better than you, and the reason they don't care about your data is because they think the deaths don't matter.

Sure they're sickened by it, but they don't think that the 10,000 deaths a year warrant any kind of action, or that they're a result of their inaction. See, they live in a bubble much like the one Abbott had before this weekend. They were convinced that the Second Amendment acts like a blanket statement for all firearm ownership.

They are wrong. It is your job to explain to them why being wrong about this doesn't mean that they're bad people, or that they're stupid.

It's on you to give them the facts and figures, till you're blue in the face, and never stop, so that eventually they come to the conclusion *on their own* because they are now informed, rather than misinformed.

Chances are it'll take a while for them to digest the truth. Just understand that this tragedy isn't going away. The fact that we ignored when children were shot in an elementary school might make you cynical, but stick to it anyway.

You can't really pass laws that prevent premeditated mass murders. Even though they're more frequent than ever, mass shootings are actually very uncommon. Maybe 12 to 40 people a year are killed in this manner. Year after year over 10,000 people are killed in crimes of passion with guns.

These are the altercations that explode, turf wars for gang activity, and domestic violence that escalate into someone grabbing a gun (handgun over 90% of the time) and shooting someone else out of anger. This is where nearly all of our gun deaths come from. We bring up these 10,000 victim's every time a mass shooting happens because it's the only time we can even get the conversation started again.

So if your friends and family are complaining that it's not the right time to discuss reasonable and sensible gun laws, ignore their bullshit and press on. Sensible things like mandatory insurance, annual registrations, inspections, mental health screenings, and pragmatic solutions like scaling back prohibition to cripple the criminal black market, need to be considered.

Mass shootings are a symptom of our gun culture problem, but as alarming as this might sound, they are a tiny threat to our safety compared to the dangers that kill 10,000 people who die a year from gun crimes that happen right next to us.

We have the ability to implement restrictions on firearms that make it so crimes of passion can't escalate into a death toll that's 200 times what happened in Vegas.

We can actually roll back the Wild West just enough so that our numbers decrease and become more like the numbers in countries where people just aren't shooting each other like we do. Countries that don't have as much criminal recidivism. Countries that care about their citizens. Countries that abandoned the idea that a room with everybody carrying a weapon, is an objectively safer room for everyone to be in.

Suggesting that handguns should be limited in numbers for civilian ownership isn't a gun ban any more than speed limits are a ban on cars. Suggesting we get our guns registered and inspected like we do our cars, is not a gun ban. Talking about all of the sensible ideas we can try first might help you a little, but be prepared for them flipping out on you when you suggest that less access is better.

Be firm. Don't give up. Just remember that we are as responsible for those deaths as all the gun rights people, because this is a democracy. We share responsibility just as much as we share and success with one another.

America can do better. We can work together and overcome our own weaknesses. History books are full of examples of us doing this. You're not alone, and you're on the right side of history.