#so sick of having bad dreams
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I dont even know what to say anymore. I'm just in so much pain. I've never experienced this kind of loss before. And we were together for so long. I woke up from a bad dream again. I wish I could control them. I wish I could cuddle him in the morning. I wish things were different
#txt#so sick of having bad dreams#my cat woke me up at 4am again#i feel bad cause i got so mad at her#because i took a sleeping tablet so she wouldnt do that and also so i would dream and also so i wouldnt have broken sleep#its not her fault#but she was plucking on my chest#i just uuuuggh#im going to buy her a cat bed today#hopefully she wont do that again#not looking forward to today#wouldnt dream*#even making typos makes me angry aha ffs
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c!wilbur and love (c!tommy) - whisper my name and i'll follow you anywhere by bluesandbirds on ao3 / Jubilee Line Satisfaction Survey by @peninkwrites / Your Sister Was Right by Wilbur Soot / If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio / A Deck of Cards With a Green Smile On Them, by Wilbur Soot, transcript by DSMP transcripts / Bust by Wilbur Soot / I Want You To Know That I'm Awake/I Hope That You're Asleep by Car Seat Headrest
#no fanart bc i have to go through the mortifying ordeal of asking ppl if its ok to web weave with their art#dsmp#dream smp#c!crimeboys#c!wilbur#dsmp web weaving#did this quick after taking that fucking uquiz that ruined my life (/pos)#but fr it fucked me up so bad#and i had some of these ready from another webweave i didnt post for fanart reasons above#anyways. who up feeling sick abt crimeboys
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I think cybergoths and cyberpunks who wear those big decorative gas masks should consider putting voice changers in them. just for funsies.
#idk I think if I could put like a voice filter on at any moment while also looking sick as hell and androgynous I'd be satisfied#transition goals#i could switch them up too#like you have that cool like staticy distortion some days and spooky overlapping voices another day#or just become a vocaloid i mean why the fuck not. we have the tech. live your dreams#god I wanna do this so bad now but I'm broke as hell. someday#cybergoth#cyberpunk#darkalt#alt#darkalt fashion#alt diy#alt fashion#alternative#alternative fashion#dark alternative fashion#dark alternative
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i hate doing laundry ough it's The Worst
#not only does leaning down to move my stuff hurt my back#but i have to touch dirty clothes and go into the dirty room and touch the dirty machines and i have to wear 2 pairs of socks (so my#normal socks dont touch the contaminated floor) and when i lean over the washing machine my clothes touch it <-the worst part of it all#tbh. now my current clothes are dirty but i have nothing to change into and i will have to wear them all day and it makes me SICK#and i cannot talk abt how dirty the garage (where the laundry machines are) it makes me nauseous that place kills me if i never#had to go into it ever again i would and i have to carry a laundry basket (dirty) and it touches my clothes when i carry it (disgusting)#and now my clothes are even more dirty and i feel like i cant touch any of my things bc i dont want to infect them but i cant just do#nothing all day when i have to do laundry but it makes me so SICK i need smth to cover all of my clothes but everything i've tried misses#some part and my clothes are ruined and it makes me SICK how am i supposed to do school or draw or anything when it's so bad#i have everything scheduled so i can take a shower and go straight to bed after i'm done but still it's so bad and it stresses me tf out#and i have to do laundry every 3 days because i only have 3 towels to use after showering and even if i did have more towels#i still would have to do laundry as often bc i couldnt handle doing multiple loads or having bigger loads my back couldnt handle that#w the system i have set up now it's just bad it;s all bad i hate doing laundry#i dream of one day where i can do laundry in a better way i think it'd involve not having the washer and dryer down steps bc that's#dangerous for one and for two not having them in a garage bc garages stress me out and three to have smth to cover all of my clothes#and 4 to have machines that dont need me to bend down idk if they have ones like that but it hurts#anyway that's it for listening to dux complain abt smth that ultimately doesnt matter and is only a problem bc their brain#chemistry is off#k bye i have to go do laundry *explodes* and take an exam *explodes* it;s an essay exam *explodes* and then im going#to like sit around feeling sick thumbs up emoji
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18, 22, and 23, for the MC ask!! Hehehhh 😈 dying to know what she’s like sleep deprived, because imaging a sleepover is going chaotic in my head right now XDD
Hi!!!! Thank you SO MUCH for the ask🥹💓😙😙😙 I LOVED THINKING ABOUT THESE ANSWERS💓💓💓
18) How they sleep
Eloise is a DEEP sleeper. Since arriving at Hogwarts, she spends too much time studying to catch up with the rest of her peers (like I’ve said before, she will NEVER be caught again in the humiliating situation of not knowing anything😤😤). When she crashes, there is NOTHING that can wake her up. When she’s sleeping by herself (all the time bc she’s a PROPER YOUNG LADY😳🤨) she tends to just sleep rigidly but if she were to hypothetically share her bed, she likes to cuddle🥹 only once she falls asleep though…
She also tends to have Eventful dreams, but doesn’t remember them when she wakes up. The harder she tries to remember them the faster they slip away…for some reason the intense feelings she feels upon waking just disappear as quickly as they came on.
22) What they’re like on 2 hours of sleep
Bahahahahahahahaha first I’ll do the sleepover part!!!!!! I wish I had time to draw her and Inger in a sleepover…SOME DAY I PROMISE😤😤💓💓🥹🥹 Eloise tends to hold herself super rigidly and is always aware of how she’s being perceived by others. But…when she is sleep deprived and with goofy friends, it’s like all of these inhibitions leave her. Everything seems HILARIOUS to her and she has a lot of fun💓💓 I feel like even Anne and Imelda can talk her into pulling her OWN pranks…trying to sneak into the boys’ dormitories just to bother them, playing endless games of exploding snap, having contests to see who can get the most ridiculous statement from Sir Cadagon…all until she passes out suddenly and NOTHING they can do will wake her up😇😇
If Eloise is sleep-deprived from studying too much (maybe a bit more likely let’s be honest😆) she is just a zombie. The scene I posted here of her playing chess and Sebastian causing chaos was during a particularly sleep-deprived time in her life. Her inhibitions are still lowered…she’s more likely to do things she’s wanted to do for a while and this scene was also while she was sleep deprived😇😇😇😇
23) How they act when they’re sick
Eloise is NEVER sick😤😤😤 if, in the hypothetical situation it COULD happen to her….she would have a hard time accepting help. Being that vulnerable in front of someone makes her deeply uncomfortable and it needs to be BAD for her to reach that point. Once she finally does accept help, though, I can see her LOVING all of the attention😇😇😇 it must be a relief to finally let go and just let someone else take care of her for a bit, let someone else in and realize she doesn’t have to do everything by herself🥹💓
#ahhhhhh I loved these asks😇💓😇💓#and maybe it’s weird but I like making new drawings for this#but also going through some old ones and posting them too!!!!!!!! bc otherwise I fear the drawings get lost in this disaster blog#Eloise’s dreams have meaning in my fic#too bad she can’t figure out the warnings😇😇😇😇#also in terms of her being sick#I HAVE THE MOST EVIL ENDING I CAN THINK OF#(I’ve only told one other person and she’s just as evil as me so she condones it😇😇😇😇😇)#like I just LOVE a good romantic tragedy#(there is no death but it’s just so bittersweet and idk…romantic🥹😫#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy oc#eloise babbit
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Happy Friday! The first 4 pages of the polyfob comic (with Girltrick) are up on the WordPress!
As always I want to give a major shout out to @punk-gremlin for commissioning and writing this! You can find their fic below 🫶 I'd really love to draw the rest of it sometime, it's a real treat UwU
Commissions like this help fund the blog and keep me able to create, so if you want to see more art then consider tipping, commissioning, joining the Patreon, or just sharing my work! A censored version of this comic has been posted to my IG if that's easier to share as well 🫶
#yayyyyyy ive been wanting to show yall this for what feels like FOREVER#im very bad at being patient#i honestllllyyyyyy almost want to just crowdsource individual comics#bc dude how sick would it be to have like 70 pages#full color or at least with shading and effects and all cleaned up ahhhhhhhhh#thats the dream like just let me draw this band fucking#also ive been thinking about branching out a bit more again like im sorry im having a major itch for drawing gerard#but this was soooooo fun and the process videos for the pages will make their way onto the patreon too!#poll in the read more in case tou miss it#okayyyy now to tag this thang lmao#pete#patrick#joe#andy#art#commission#comic#request#fic#art submission#polyfob#girltrick#girl out world#girl out boy#fall out girl#im so tempted to call this safe to reblog lol#btw if you ever want to share my regular art IG that also helps me to fund this blog as a passion project!#Joetrick#andtrick#peterick
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Sighh. Trying to figure out if I'm going to project onto Night again for this next drabble....
#spotatalk#trying to think what Night's reaction to being ACTUALLY sick would be#because I genuinely think Ccino took such good care of him and Dream (plus the whole Paradise Kingdom thing) that he's never been sick#before. like. with a cold.#so when he wakes up after a long night running a fever and coughing and wheezing and his throat feels like it's trying to#choke him out itself and his msgic is weak? he 10000% thinks he got poisoned and is like. inconsolable for a solid hour#before everyone reassures him it's just a cold#actually. i like the idea that it's Cross who's experienced the same Allergy/Cold double-punch combo before and manages to calm him down#I just think Night's track-record states that he hates having to be out of the race because. he trusts the others but. he doesn't want to#burden them. and Ccino cares for him but he also has the duties of the castle and he's choosing to stay and-#y'know all the sadness and worry between his fitful rests are consuming him. Cross ends up being his solution because (since he doesn't have#his mask yet) he doesn't have tasks to be doing in Night's wake and Night logics his way into feeling less bad about wanting the attention#(and ofc Cross wears soft clothes and Night likes his general aura and also he's the one least likely to tease him and accidentally hurt his#feelings- the whole nine yards lmao-#okay post over. minor lore post following shortly lol-
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#not me currently revenge procrastinating bc im scared of dreaming 😵💫#i feel so anxious its making me feel sick#i called my work friend at 9pm and spoke to her for like 30 mins and was like girl im so bad rn im having dreams#and she reminded me of the last time i was hving bad dreams like this ~1.5hrs ago that i completely forgot about#🤢🤢🤢
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augh i may be getting sick........
#rin rambles#that or my throat is mysteriously hurting for some random reason#i only remember i woke up abruptly last night coughing while dreaming about blade (rude i know i was having a good time tf)#and it already felt wrong#then this morning when i woke up my throat just feels so inflamed and scratchy orz#i feel lightheaded i'm gonna flub todays guzheng lesson so bad i thikn#not me and my mom taking it up to the next level with synced sickness despite living in 2 different countries lmao#synced periods? nah synced health it is
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#everything is just so fucking awful all the time#my attempts to be happy are only ever rewarded with a brick to the face#gritting my teeth trying to be silly and whimsical cause halloween is my favorite time of year#but I haven't decorated anything-- I slapped together a costume last minute and it's basically a declawed dollar store wolverine#usually I've been putting my costume together since august but this year just said “fuck you” to my traditions#I just want to tell everyone to fuck off and leave me alonr#don't want to hang out with anyone don't want to speak to anybody or get out of bed#struggling not to burst into tears throughout the day and it's so exhausting#everyone at my work is sick with a cold or flu so there goes what little bit of november I could enjoy cause I'll inevitably get it#I don't know if I just want this to be over and me come out the other side or if I just want to call it quits here#31 years isn't such a bad life I guess#it's so short but who am I kidding#where would a high school degree and a fraudulent 2 year college degree get me?#I'll be working at mcdonalds the rest of my life#I'll never move up I'll never own a house#I'll never start my cat rescue I always dreamed of having#I'm sorry Phoebe#maybe I'll see you sooner than you think
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#i am just so scared that we are going to be stuck in a cycle of relative poverty now due to scribe being sick#like we were doing okay but realizing i'm not going to have enough money from financial aid this year has messed me up#the only reason we were doing okay was because the state was willing to give me money for school. and now they're not#basically entirely because i'm a non-traditional student too#and like what comes next#i want to go to grad school so badly. will it just be more of this?#will i be saddled with so many loans we can never afford to have our own place or feel secure and not guilty for having nice things?#i can't support us both on a student's not-salary#and i'm scared that me going back to school is just permanently screwing us both over now#or alternatively. will i have to give up on my dream so we can live#it was different when she had an income#now i just feel bad and selfish for pursuing something i care about#and like i'm morally in the wrong for not just dropping out and finding work somewhere even if it sucks#i'm so tired. i don't want to be crying about money right now#but here we are i guess
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really really need to get back on mood stabilizers
#im rly such a mess mentally and its so annoying bc things are constantly like#going wrong but in a way that kinda works out so i should be fine but im not fbdnsjs#like terrified abt my dogs state for weeks -> finding out shes rly quite sick but theres treatment and shes doing better rn#scary fucked up horrible experience at work -> nothing physically bad happened to ME i handled it as well as anyone could#going to dublin to see chappell and injuring my foot at the concert -> b's a sweetheart so it was fine and my leg is pretty much ok now#but its just. so stressful and im already having panic attacks daily#plus i have stress dreams every night for the past 4 weeks and wake up terrified its so annoying#i just wanna relax#everyone please keep your fingers crossed that i get put on mood stabilizers at the end of this month and my mental health improves
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im sick again............
#1 million times worse this time my throats the size of a dime :((((#why do coworkers keep coming in when they have family thats infected cannot stand it. but its also on me#the way i already feel so paranoid about cognitive decline waaaaaaa. not bravo. not yippee#why do fevers do that thing where all of your skin hurts now#had several or one long bad dream about working while sick too
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I am begging Disney to stop doing stuff like this with their live action remakes.
So what you mean is you’ve changed the themes and beats of the story so that it’s no longer recognizable as that story. Gotcha.
#it’s one thing to have different versions of things that go in different directions#i loved mirror mirror a lot when that came out and that certainly wasn’t traditional#nor was the tough thief snow we got introduced to at the beginning of once upon a time#but those are their own things — this is supposed to be an adaptation of their own dang material#and yet they keep insisting on altering the most important things about their own past movies in favor of modernization#what’s so bad about a young girl dreaming of love? what’s so bad about her needing help in horrible situations? would we not all want help?#i’m sick of them acting like things are sexist and require changing if a woman is actually feminine#or heaven forbid doesn’t have 100% control over her life#@disney get a grip#how did you go so downhill from wonderful cinderella to this#disney#snow white 2024
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mistakes were made. should not have gone to library today. i will be leaving the house all five days of the week now (plus we went to a waterside on sunday for several hours) and uhm... i feel like i need to go hibernate for several weeks to feel even remotely okay again fhdkdl i am so tired i can barely think enough to string words together in any comprehendable way 🧍<- upset
#oohoohoo the self destructive ''well maybe I'll just push myself bc im going to be tired either way'' sure was a bad choice!#''lol who cares anymore im sick of being fatigued and im probably just making it up'' you are a fucking idiot god bless your soul#and yet.... the urge to Make It Worse is still so strong.... gee i sure do love p.mdd!#honest to god im so fucking frustrated w this brain lately#been trying to hide any sharps away from myself because I've just been so wildly careening into self destructive tendencies#and im sick of trying to like. control myself. i am my own keeper and im fucking sick of it gjfkdl#im trying so fucking hard to hold it together and keep myself on the right path but im really just incredibly tired#it feels like im trying to wrestle a knife out of a toddler's hand#and then the toddler cries and tantrums bc they wanted the knife#and i have nothing to give them to distract them. except im also the toddler.#idk how long i can keep this up for bc im ALSO managing other ppls emotions and baggage and shit at the centre#and over text. mainly that one person who i wish would just fucking leave me alone#but her grandma is literally on her deathbed so I can't rly try learning how to be firm rn#bc if i try to be firm i worry i will end up being a dick and i dont want to do that while she's struggling w pre-emptive grief#i don't know !!! im just so goddamn exhausted and struggling#and the world seems very cruel and terrifying and im honestly convinced im never going to find a way to exist peacefully in it#like im always going to be scared and struggle to trust ppl and struggle to socialize and feel safe anywhere#im going to be so honest. i wish i had One friend irl fhfkdl like. i think that would help a lot of my issues#to have someone i care about and respect and who actually cares about AND respects me back#and who i could just. be around. exist in the same vicinity. and not feel so scared and unsafe#a bit of a break from those constant feelings while not being isolated#who i could do activities with ???#thats actually so hard for me to imagine ever having ffhdjlsl its been so many years since I've had any semblance of that#it doesn't feel like im ever going to have that again :') it feels so impossible. pipe dream. unrealistic and unattainable#okay i need to shut up fhdksl sorry for being so insane on here every day jfc#one of these days i hope i will be genuinely stable for like... longer than a day fhfkdl#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#self harm mention
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Barbie review: Margot Robbie and Greta Gerwig’s visual confection plays a little too much like an advertisement - ABC News https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-07-20/barbie-movie-review-margot-robbie-ryan-gosling-greta-gerwig/102613824
HAH!!!!!!!!!! great read for greta gerwig haters.
#i actually hoped that this would be a fun silly movie. but am not surprised that it’s like That.#thank you michael sun from ABC Australia for your honesty.#ugh. sorry i just have to rant bc i watched like 1/3 of frances ha once and wanted to kill myself#and then. the ladybird trailer alone made me sick so i never watched it#and her little women adaptation is. moderately okay but so derivative of the 90s version#and it’s feminist message is like….just clumsy. esp. with meg’s character ugh.#no one said it’s bad to be a mother!! but it doesn’t need to be elevated as an equal dream to being a writer or actress when society still#wants every woman to be a mother! like ffs
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