#so she won’t even be there.. also i think she hates me & the only reason i’m anywhere close to a job offer

[sunniques]

— 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲

➺ PAIRING: jay park x female reader

➺ GENRE: hybrid au, smut

➺ SUMMARY: the story of how you end up spending a week alone with your owner’s hot friend.

➺ CW/TW: cat hybrid!reader, heeseung as reader’s owner, (slight) somnophilia, fingering, oral sex (f & m), unprotected sex, squirting, creampies, overstimulation, multiple rounds

➺ WC: 5k

NOTE: don’t like, don’t read.

“Please?”

Once Heeseung looks into your wide, pleading eyes he knows he’s done for. From the moment he adopted you, he’s never been able to deny any of your requests no matter how unreasonable they were. This time is no different. The only difference is that now he’s also going to make your wish his friend’s problem.

“Okay,” he concedes quickly. “But only if Jay says yes. If not, you’ll have to stay with Jake.”

You can’t hide your excitement. “Thank you, Seungie!”

Your owner laughs joyfully when you throw your arms around him and affectionately nuzzle your cheek against his. As usual, you’ve coaxed him into giving you what you want. That’s part of the reason you love him so much. There isn’t anything he won’t do to make you happy.

“I’ll call him now and ask if he’ll look after you while I’m gone,” Heeseung says as he gets up from the couch.

You give him a nod, settling back on the cushions as he gets his hot friend on the phone. Once you hear the door to Heeseung’s room close, you jump off the couch with a squeal. You skip over to your room, heart racing as you think about the fact that you’re going to spend an entire week with Jay, alone. There’s no doubt in your mind that he’ll say yes since Heeseung is the one asking. You giddily start to pack your bags, knowing your owner will come into your room shortly to tell you the good news.

“She wants to stay with me?”

Heeseung laughs at his friend’s disbelief. “Yeah. I’ve told you before that Y/N really likes you.”

“Uh,” Jay swallows nervously. “Really?”

His friend laughs again, but Jay can’t see the humor in the situation. It’s not that he doesn’t want to help his friend out, but he’s always thought that you hate him. Almost every time he visited Heeseung, you stayed in your room until he left. On the off chance that you didn’t hide away in your room, you were glued to your owner’s side and shied away from any attention Jay tried to give you.

At first, he thought that’s all it was—you being shy. However, when he spoke to Sunghoon and Jake, he found out that you were an extremely friendly cat. They even showed him cute pictures and videos to prove it.

“Yes, bro. She wouldn’t ask to stay with you if she didn’t.”

Jay licks his lips and scratches his temple. “Okay, yeah. Y/N can stay with me.”

He can picture Heeseung’s bright smile. “Thanks! I’ll stop by on Friday to drop her off.”

“Sounds good.”

“I really do appreciate it.”

When Heeseung hangs up, Jay flops back on his bed. His heart pounds harshly against his ribcage as he thinks about what he’s agreed to. Maybe this will be an opportunity for you and him to finally get closer. Somehow, he manages to push past the nerves he feels to remind himself that will be a good thing.

On Friday, you’re practically skipping with joy as Heeseung leads you to his friend’s apartment. You swing your intertwined hands back and forth as your nose picks up on all the new scents surrounding you. Heeseung smiles fondly as he goes to knock on his friend’s door. He can tell you’re excited about being in a new place, and it makes him less worried about leaving you for a week.

You suck in a quiet break when the door opens. Jay looks extremely good, and you can’t keep your eyes off of him as your owner gives him one of those man-hugs that male humans do.

“Hey, Y/N,” Jay gives you a friendly smile after he separates from his friend.

“Hi,” you say shyly, barely resisting the urge to hide behind Heeseung.

You’re led inside a second later, and you can’t keep your eyes from examining every inch of the place. It’s nice and spacious. The more you look around, the more excited you are for your stay.

“I prepared the guest room for you,” Jay says as he leads you down the hall to a nice, spacious room.

You let go of Heeseung’s hand as you venture further into the room. It’s nice and comfy-looking, but it doesn’t really smell like Jay. Like at all. You try not to frown as you thank him sweetly. He seems relieved that you don’t dislike it.

Heeseung sets your bags down on the bed, smiling a little sadly at you. “Okay, well I have to leave now if I want to catch my flight.”

You pout slightly but nod and follow the two men to the living room. Although you are excited to be left alone with Jay, part of you feels sad. You’ve never been away from your owner for this long before.

Heeseung stops and gives you a sweet smile that you love so much. “Y/N. Be a good girl while I’m gone.”

You roll your eyes, but nod obediently anyway. “I promise I’ll be good, Hee.”

Your owner gives you a warm hug, whispering promises to be back soon.

After Heeseung leaves, Jay invites you to watch a movie with him. He’s nervous and shy, but the feelings slowly dissolve when you happily agree and join him on the couch.

“Can we cuddle?” You ask boldly, tail swishing behind you.

Jay swallows thickly. He can’t look away from you. The way you asked was so sweet that he knows if you were ever to ask him for anything else, he wouldn’t be able to say no.

“We can’t?” Your ears flatten against your head as your lips form a pout.

“W-We can,” Jay rushes out, feeling a blush crawl up his neck. “It’s just—you don’t have to ask.”

You grin and pounce on him. Jay laughs as you crawl on his lap and nuzzle your head under his chin. He holds you close to him as your sleek tail wraps around his waist.

“Heeseung always tells me to ask before I cuddle humans,” you explain as you press yourself closer to him.

Jay licks his lips and closes his eyes when you start to purr. One of his hands gently caresses your hips while the other gently smooths up and down your calf. You grin into his neck, happy that you decided to wear a skirt. All of your plans are slowly coming together, and you know by the end of the week, you’ll have Jay exactly where you want him.

When the night rolls around, you put on the cute nightie Heeseung bought you on your birthday. You wait for a bit before you tiptoe to Jay’s bedroom. Luckily the door is open, and he’s standing by his bed. He’s in nothing but a pair of sweats with his hair still wet from his shower. You bite your lip as your eyes linger on his muscular torso.

“Jay,” you call softly, making sure to keep your eyes on his face.

“Y/N,” Jay’s face is a little flushed. His eyes soften when he sees the hesitant expression on your face. “What’s wrong?”

Your ears twitch as you play with your thumbs. “I-I’m not really used to sleeping alone anymore. I thought I would be okay, but…”

Jay’s heart clenches. You look so nervous and shy. Heeseung never mentioned that you still had trouble sleeping alone. Maybe it’s because you miss him so much that you can’t sleep. So, he ignores the harsh beat of his heart to give you a warm smile.

“You can sleep with me… if you want.”

You nod shyly, mumbling out a quiet okay before slowly entering his room. Jay draws the covers for you, waiting until you’re settling in his bed to get in next to you. His heart is pounding when you cuddle up to his side. You breathe out a sigh of relief when Jay wraps an arm around you to pull you closer.

It’s easy for you to fall asleep in his warm embrace, and all you can think about is how you’ll have Jay wrapped around your finger by the end of the week.

Jay feels like the worst friend ever.

You’re extremely precious to Heeseung, yet here he is, lusting after you. It’s not his fault you’re extremely lovable and beautiful. You’re extremely sweet and cute. Anything you do makes him feel an intense amount of affection. He’d be made of stone if he didn’t feel anything for you at all.

Honestly, he can’t feel too bad since it’s obvious that you feel the same way about him. It’s why he’s woken up to you nuzzling his cock through his underwear for three days straight. Today, he doesn’t feel like pretending to be asleep until you stop. When he quietly groans out your name, it only encourages you.

You mewl and whine as you press your face closer to his bulge to rub your cheek against it. Jay coos at you, moving his hand to gently caress one of your soft ears. That’s all the encouragement you need to give his thick cock a kitten lick. Your tongue wets his hardening cock through his underwear. Jay can’t keep quiet as you grow more eager with your movements, soaking the fabric until it’s sticking to his dick.

By now, Jay’s fully hard. He keeps groaning as he lets you have your way with his cock. Finally, you have enough and decide you want to taste the real thing. You lift your head and bite your lip. Dark eyes stare at you with heat as your sleep tail swishes behind you. Without any hesitation, you pull his underwear down his thighs, moaning when you see his big cock slap against his lower abdomen. It’s twitching and leaking with precum that’s ready to be lapped up.

Your eyes gleam as you go to get your treat. Jay moans loudly when you start to suckle his tip. You mewl as your rough tongue laps at his slit repeatedly, eagerly licking up all the precum dripping from his cock.

“Fuck, kitten,” Jay groans, voice thick with sleep. “Couldn’t wait until I woke up, hm?”

You stare at him as your tongue lolls out to messily lap at his sticky tip. The whine you let out is so cute that Jay can’t stop himself from petting your twitching ears.

You pout at him cutely. “Just wanted a taste.”

“Yeah?” Jay groans as his hips shift, nudging your mouth with his cock. He curses under his breath when you take his aching dick into your mouth. “Pretty kitty just wanted some cream, huh?”

You moan in confirmation, eagerly taking his thick cock down your throat. Saliva drips from the corners of your mouth as you bob your head up and down. Jay moans loudly as your tongue caresses the tip of his dick, slurping up all the precum greedily. His eyes almost cross from how good your hot little mouth feels. He’s never had anyone else give him head like this, and he knows that nothing else will ever compare.

“God, baby,” Jay groans when you release his cock with a lewd pop and start to lick your way down to his balls.

He spreads his legs when you take his sac into your mouth. You whine as you suckle and lick at the sensitive skin. The vibrations from the sounds you’re making make him moan loudly. His cock is leaking steadily now. Precum drips down his throbbing length and down to his balls. Your eyes zero in on the shiny trail it leaves behind. You pull away from his balls, leaving them coated in your saliva. Jay tries not to cum when you start to lick back up his cock, lapping up his precum with a wanton mewl.

“You got my cum all over your lips, kitten,” Jay pants, cock pulsing and leaking with more precum for you to lap up. “Such a messy girl.”

The way he’s gazing at you fondly makes your cunt clench around nothing. Your tail sways excitedly as you hum against his cock. “Your messy girl.”

With that, you open your mouth to take his cock back into your mouth. You swallow as much of it as you can take. Jay groans again, hips bucking up to sink his cock further down your throat. He’s petting your ears as his balls start to tighten up.

“I’m close, baby,” Jay groans.

You moan in satisfaction and relax your mouth to sink further down on his cock. His leaking tip hits the back of your throat, which makes Jay let out a guttural groan.

“Fuck—Y/N!”

You feel his big cock pulse wildly before his orgasm hits. Ropes of hot cum spill into your mouth, and you eagerly swallow it all. Jay’s pretty face contorts into a blissful expression as you pull your mouth up and let him shoot the rest of his load on your tongue. Your tail sways back and forth as your mouth fills with his hot cum. You swallow every last drop before you start to lave your rough tongue across his twitching cock to clean up anything you missed.

“Tastes so good,” you moan before kissing the tip of his dick.

Jay sits up and yanks you toward him. You whine when he smashes his lips on yours, kissing you messily. He pulls you closer until you’re practically on his lap. You moan into his mouth when he forces his tongue past your lips to taste you. Jay’s large hands squeeze your hips as his tongue smooths over your own. His mind is swimming, and he can’t help but think that you taste so much sweeter when you’re mixed with him.

When Jay finally separates from you, his gaze is dark. Those hungry eyes slowly trail down your body. Jay bites his lips before he goes to pull off your nightie. He lets out a groan when he sees your naked body on display for him. The sultry look on your face is starting to drive him crazy. With your cute tail swishing back and forth excitedly, he knows he’s got you exactly where he wants you.

Large hands trail down your body until one of them is cupping your hot cunt. You mewl and keen into Jay’s hand when his fingers gently trace over your slit. He licks his lips. “You’ll let me play with your little pussy, won’t you, baby?”

You moan with a nod, grinding down into his hand. “Yes, fuck. Want you so bad, Jay.”

“I know, kitten,” his voice is full of lust. “Don’t worry. I’m going to stuff your pretty little cunt until it’s the shape of my cock.”

You yowl when he manhandles you onto your hands and knees. He does it so effortlessly that you can feel more slick drip out of you. Jay gets behind you, groaning when he sees your arousal covering your thighs.

“Fuck, kitty. You’re fucking soaked,” Jay growls heatedly as he palms your ass.

He almost loses it when he sees your hole clench in need. Jay spreads your ass and buries his face in your pussy. His hot tongue parts your slit to lap up all your juices before he moves on to your clit. He starts to lap at it like a starved man, moaning into your heat like you did around his cock. His tongue flicks your puffy bud, licking up every last drop of your arousal. You cry out as his hungry mouth devours your cunt.

“So fucking sweet. Can’t wait to fuck your pretty little pussy.”

You whine loudly when he pulls away from your cunt. The empty feeling is quickly soothed when you feel him spit on it before diving back in to fuck his tongue into your hole. Unabashed moans fall from your lips as you buck your pussy back into his mouth. You whimper in pleasure when Jay slips two fingers into your clenching pussy. He angles his wrist to push more juices out of your squelching cunt. Almost immediately, he finds your g-spot. Your legs start to shake when he starts to rub that soft spot inside you.

“Oh fuck,” you wail, hips rutting back eagerly. “God, Jay. Feels so fucking good. I’m gonna—”

The way you’re gushing into his mouth and fingers makes Jay grin deviously. “You’re gonna cum already, baby? Or are you gonna squirt for me?”

You mewl, embarrassed that he can tell. “Fuck, Jay. Y-You can’t just…”

“Can’t what, kitty?” Jay laughs teasingly. “Just do it for me, yeah? I wanna feel you squirt on my tongue.”

With that, his tongue dives back into your pulsing cunt. The mind-numbing rhythm of his fingers and tongue pushes you over the edge quickly. With a loud moan of his name, you clamp down on his fingers and cum. Your cunt gushes slick all over his face and hand, completely drenching him in your juices. You can’t even feel embarrassed because pleasure clouds all of your senses and thoughts.

“Fuck, kitten. That’s it,” Jay moans into your pussy as he greedily laps up everything you’re releasing.

You mewl loudly as he licks you clean. His tongue smooths over your sensitive bundle of nerves until you’re trembling against him. Jay groans into your heat one last time before deciding you’re ready to take his cock. Just before he pulls away, he presses a gentle kiss on your pussy.

Jay kneels behind you, nudging the head of his cock against your slick entrance. His large hands spread your ass so he gets a full view of how your little hole stretches open for his fat cock. The strangled moan he lets out as he sinks into your hot cunt mixes in with your loud cry of pleasure. He bottoms out with one rough thrust. Your ears twitch as his pelvis rests flush against your ass.

You moan loudly when Jay caresses your tail, stroking it from the base until you’re bucking your hips against him and gushing all over his thick cock.

“Jay!” You cry out as your claws dig into his sheets.

“Such a pretty kitty,” Jay’s grunt is deep as he pumps his cock in and out of your sopping cunt. “Tight little pussy’s gonna milk me dry.”

He slaps your ass before he yanks on your tail. You cry out wantonly, pussy tightening around him as your eyes roll to the back of your skull. Jay keeps pounding into your dripping cunt mercilessly. He’s splitting you open just like he promised, and you love every second of it.

“Harder,” you whine, ass bouncing back to meet his rough movements. “Fuck. Want more. Please.”

Jay smirks through a pleased groan. He grabs your arms and pulls your body backward into a pretty arch. His cock throbs inside you as your pussy flutters and pulses at the new angle. It feels like he’s fucking his cock deeper into you. You moan about how much you love it since it feels like his leaking tip is practically slamming into your womb.

“Didn’t know you were such a cockhungry kitty,” Jay’s deep laugh makes you tighten around his cock again.

You let out a broken whine, eyes rolling back as he splits you open. Slick is dripping down your thighs, filling the air with a wet plap plap plap sound every time Jay rolls his hips against you. His heavy balls slap your aching clit with every rough thrust, and it just pushes you closer to your climax.

“I-It’s too much, Jay!” You cry out as he keeps drilling his aching cock into you.

His laugh is dark and so damn attractive. “You can take it, baby. You’ll take everything I give you like a good girl, right?”

A deep affection warms his chest and makes his cock twitch when you obediently nod as your rough tongue lolls out of your mouth. You’re already so fucked out that he just wants to keep that look on your face for the rest of the day.

“Good kitty,” Jay moans, hand going up to pet your soft ears. “Now squeeze your hot little pussy on my cock so I can cream it like you want.”

You do as he says, moaning loudly as your tight walls clamp down on his cock. Your legs tremble as your second orgasm hits you all full force. Pleasure consumes your entire body as you gush all over Jay’s cock.

“That’s it, baby. Shit. Good fucking girl,” Jay groans as he fucks his cock into you harder.

His hips stutter slightly, rutting against your ass when he can no longer hold back his own orgasm. Jay spills his thick load inside you. His hot cum paints your walls, and you can only mewl and take it all pliantly.

Just when you think Jay’s done, he slips one hand down to your slippery clit. His fingers rub your sensitive bud as he starts to fuck his cum deeper into you.

“Jay!” You cry out as your hips instinctively move to meet his movements.

His fingers rub fast circles on your clit until a second orgasm coats his cock again. You cry out loudly, claws digging into the couch. Jay moans along with you, slamming his dick into your sloppy hole to help you ride out your orgasm.

“God, baby. You’re gonna drive me crazy,” Jay’s voice is completely sated as he caresses your ass.

You shiver when Jay slowly pulls out of you with a low hiss. A deep groan spills from his lips when he sees your pretty pussy leaking with his cum. Something primal inside him snaps when he sees your cute little pussy dripping with his seed. His pupils dilate as he goes to spread your puffy lips, making his cum drip down your thighs.

“Jay,” you mewl as your cunt throbs with need. “Want more.”

Jay licks his lips as he fingers his cum back into your messy pussy. “Yeah? You want me to fuck your little pussy raw until you’re dripping with cum?”

Your moan is like music to his ears. “Yes, fuck. Want your cum so bad!”

Jay slaps your ass before he flips you on your back. “Dirty kitty. Just so hungry for this cock, huh?”

You mewl cutely and nod. Dark eyes stare at you, and it makes your pussy pulse with anticipation. At that moment, you that Jay is insatiable.

“I’m gonna breed this pussy all day long,” his growl makes you drip with more arousal.

Jay holds your thighs open as he sinks his cock back into your sloppy pussy. Almost instantly, you’re reduced to a fucked out mess. Your lips sloppily capture Jay’s as his fat cock spears you open. Wet squelching sounds fill the room and mix in perfectly with your desperate gasps and filthy moans. Each one of Jay’s crazed thrusts sends you further into a mindless state.

“You like it when I fuck you here, baby?” Jay rasps as his thick cock drills into you. “Like how I’m making a mess out of this little pussy?”

You mewl desperately as your hips roll to meet his harsh movements. By now, you’re acting like a desperate animal searching for release. His leaking tip keeps slamming into your g-spot, and you know it won’t be long before you’re creaming on his big cock all over again.

Jay lets out a laugh when your mouth drops open in a silent moan. He can tell you’re so cock drunk that you probably wouldn’t be able to tell him your own name if he asks. This only makes him pound into your plushy pussy harder, eager to hear you scream for him. 

“J-Jaaay,” you whine wantonly.

Once again, he laughs quietly, and leans in close. “What is it?”

You don’t immediately answer him and his mouth latches on your neck, nipping patiently. “C’mon, kitty. Use your words.”

But you literally can’t, especially when he licks a hot stripe on your neck. It all feels so good that the only thing you can think about is his cock. Eventually, you manage to speak, even if it’s just a fucked out mess of words.

“S-So good,” you mewl, eyes almost crossing. “Fu-Fuck! Love your cock!”

“That’s right, baby,” Jay groans as he starts to thrust into you with renewed urgency. “I’m fucking you real good, huh? Pretty kitty can’t get enough of this cock.”

“Yes!” You wail loudly. “It’s so good! So so good!”

Your cries get louder when Jay grabs the plush of your thighs and pushes them into your abdomen. The new angle lets him fuck his cock deeper inside you. A loud moan tears from your throat as Jay starts slamming into you at a relentless pace. It’s not long before a familiar feeling starts to build in the pit of your stomach. 

You whine and dig your nails into Jay’s forearms. “Fuck. I’m so close. Gonna cum!”

Jay smashes his mouth on yours in a sloppy kiss. He needs to feel you cream on his cock again. It’s so addicting—just like you. With one last hard thrust, you’re pushed over the edge and cum on his dick hard. Jay swallows your wanton cries of pleasure as your tight walls spasm around his cock. He keeps slamming his cock into you without mercy, needing to fuck you through it.

“I’m gonna fill you up,” Jay groans the promise against your lips. “Fuck. Gonna cream this tight pussy. Get ready to take it all, baby.”

His leaking tip that spongy spot inside you again, and that’s all he needs to release his seed inside you. Hot ropes of cum fill your pussy until it’s frothing at the base of his cock where you two are connected. The way he keeps fucking into you triggers another orgasm from you, this one more powerful than the last. You squirt all over his throbbing cock, covering his balls and lower abdomen with your juices.

Jay moans delightedly, pressing you into a position he’s dreamed of having you in. You’re completely overstimulated at this point, but you love the mating press you’ve been put in. Heavy balls slap against your ass with every sloppy thrust, and you briefly think that this is what heaven must feel like.

“Want more cum?” Jay grins knowingly, loving how you mewl desperately and clamp down on his cock.

Listening to the fucked out noises you let out makes him pound into you harder. You whimper softly as your eyes roll to the back of your head. It feels so fucking good that all you can do is moan like you’re in heat. Everything is reflected in the state of Jay’s bedsheets. They’re soaked with cum and squirt, and the room’s air is thick with the smell of sex. It’s all so filthy, but it only turns you on even more.

“Please,” you beg, needing to be filled again.

You glance down to watch Jay fuck you raw. His big cock is dripping with your mixed cum. Your pussy pulses at the filthy sight, especially when you notice the remnants from the previous rounds sticking to his thighs.

“I’ll give it to you,” Jay coos, cock throbbing as his climax steadily approaches. “Pretty little kitty’s earned some more cream.”

You moan loudly when you feel him spill into you again.

After that, Jay puts you in every position he wants and fills you with cum to your heart’s content. Finally, you end up on top of him. He’s mindlessly bouncing you on his cock, fucking you like you’re his personal fucktoy.

“That’s it, baby,” Jay growls as he kneads your ass, moving you up and down on his cock at an agonizingly slow pace.

Your hot cunt engulfs his cock deliciously. It gets tighter and tighter every time his hips thrust up to meet your movements. Your pussy is already full of his cum, but Jay can’t stop fucking you. He’s completely hooked on your pussy, and every orgasm he’s had so far only makes his cock harder and his balls tighter. Being buried all the way inside you feels too good for him to even think about stopping.

“God, kitten. You were just made to take cock, huh?”

Jay’s thrusts are slow and deep, still making sure he’s putting your pleasure above his. In all his greed, he makes sure to hit all the right spots so you cream on his cock again.

“Jay,” you moan when he lets go of one of your ass cheeks to caress your tail.

The way you moan his name makes him bounce you on his cock faster. You cry out in pleasure as your warm pussy squeezes him. A mix of your cream and his cum coat his dick to form a ring at the base of it. He’s already pulled so many orgasms from you that it’s hard to keep count, but even though you’re overstimulated you don’t think to ask him to stop. 

Jay’s eyes are focused on your face. He’s basking in the pretty faces you’re making now that you’re completely fucked out. His eyes roll to the back of his head as he starts to thrust deeper and harder into your sloppy pussy. Jay’s large hands pull your hips all the way down until you’re both cumming.

“Fuck, kitty,” Jay groans as his cock head spurts with cum. “So fucking good.”

You mewl and shove your face into his neck, purring in complete delight. The both of you are breathing heavily as you slowly come down from your highs. Neither of you make a move to separate. Jay presses sweet kisses to your hair and rubs your back soothingly as his cock pulses inside you.

“You did so good for me, baby,” he coos.

You hum into the underside of his jaw. “Loved it so much.”

Jay grins, ignoring his vibrating phone on the nightstand. He’s too busy clinging to you to read the message from Heeseung that says he’s going to come back early to surprise you.

[angelapleasant]

fyi if you have a uterus and are looking to get sterilized because you either know you don’t want kids or just don’t want to take the chance i had a bilateral salpingectomy in 2022 and it was an extremely easy surgery.

i woke up with mild period-like cramps (much lighter than the ones i get on my actual period) which were gone in like 45 minutes and didn’t have any other pain. i didn’t have to take the pain meds prescribed and i don’t even think i took ibuprofen. the worst part was when i got home and my cat stepped her little 1000lb foot on one of my incisions and that was only bad because my whole body tensed up to protect it bc it scared me lol. maybe the gas pain in my shoulder from it but even that wasn’t as bad as it was when i had my gallbladder removed and it doesn’t last!

i was in and out of the hospital within a few hours. recovery was super easy. my insurance covered it “100%” as a birth control method (but the hospital itself charged me $1500 out of pocket for their facilities thanks american healthcare system!!! this was still cheaper than an ER visit i had for severe food poisoning 🙄🙄).

with a bisalp the tubes are fully removed. it can’t heal or reverse itself. you cannot get pregnant unless you pay $$$$$ to do it artificially. it also helps reduce the risk of ovarian cancer according to my surgeon bc it likes to form in the tubes.

the process was easy too! i found my surgeon from the list on r/childfree. he had actually tweeted that he will do them for women who want them without all the bs when roe got revoked. i went in prepared to argue and have my husband come in to “give permission” (how disgusting that i even have to say that) and he was like as long as you understand that insurance won’t pay for it if you ever want to get ivf it’s all good. it took like 2 months max. i think the only requirement is that you’re 21. i was 29, no kids, and had no issues!

i switched to him as my gyno even tho it’s a drive for me and that really says something about him bc i would never have considered a male gyno before. i don’t want to be too public w my location but if you are in FL DM me and i’ll give you his info. he does telehealth appts afaik so you might be able to do your consult online and just travel for the surgery and post op if you aren’t in a reasonable distance to avoid staying overnight. or just if you have more questions about the surgery. if you aren’t within traveling distance check the list on r/childfree for other doctors, they should list it by state!

i know this is a very permanent solution to only one of many issues we are all worried about right now and costs are going to be different with different levels of attainability for everyone, but it was so worth it for me. i don’t hate children but i have NEVER wanted them (my mom blamed the crying baby toys she got me as a kid haha) and i would never want to deal with pregnancy or its aftereffects. especially if it wasn’t a pregnancy i CHOSE. even without contraceptives at risk it was a good choice for me because the hormones made me nauseous ALL the time.

[silkentine]

Me when they are the sisters ever: 😭😭😭 They came out soooo freaking well. I won’t lie, they took me a thousand years to finish but through the constant support from all of my buds (and my latent bisexuality), we made it 😤

Hopefully you guys know the deal by now: design choices, easter eggs, and (NEW!) closeup shots below the read more. ⬇️

I wanted Ace to have a very down-to-earth vibe and looked at Aussie beach-girls, coastal cowgirls, and vaqueras for reference. (IDK, I’ve just always envisioned Ace as part-Australian🌺 and Mexican 🏴‍☠️) Her clothing choices are mostly natural or utilitarian materials like the painted wooden beads on her top, her woven fabric and leather belts, and her denim jumpsuit. I gave her bikini top a zen-garden kind of feel because I read the first Ace’s Story Novel and I loved how idyllic and peaceful they made Sixis Island sound so I wanted to invoke that in some way.

Speaking of her painted wooden beads, they hang off the back of her top and represent her connection to Sabo and Luffy. They watch her back once she sets sail. She only wears one red glass bead earring because the other one got ripped out of her ear when a child, leaving her earlobe torn (don’t think about it too much 😢). Also, YES! she does wear a hibiscus flower just like Rouge (because I hate you and I want to make you cry, muhwahahahaha).

Also, I really wanted her to have super textured curly hair that licks behind her like flames. I am always considering whether or not a character should have long hair or not because I don’t want it to be a hindrance if they’re in a fight (or if they ARE a fighter with long hair, how to they avoid an enemy making use of that?). Ace is, of course, a Logia-type Devil Fruit User so I think she wouldn’t have trouble with people grabbing it LOL I get the feeling that she doesn’t take very good care of it even though it looks amazing. Like you’d think it would be soft and bouncy just by looking at it but if you ever get the chance to run your fingers through it, it’s a total rat’s nest and there’s sand and food all up in it. She still falls asleep while eating 😂 but she tries her best to only do it around people she can trust (woman moment 😔).

Honestly, her design is not that different from Ace’s canon look. It feels really vital to Ace’s character to have a lot of skin showing. And he’s always hanging all over himself with his hips all cocked like the weight of the world is too much to stand up straight. It is certainly not my OWN preference to make her an absolute smoke show. That’s just the character, okay? (I’m partially lying and the proof is that I turned the emblem on Ace’s hat strap into a sternum tattoo for no other reason than that it is sexy af.)

Here are some closeups of Ace:

Now for Sabo, I’ve made her very girly. I tried putting her in pants or something more militant but she told me that she’d wear the big poofy sleeves and hiked-up ruffled skirt. I think Sabo has always had a strong grasp on his fashion sense and individual flair and I truly believe that his personal style is one of the major influences for the rest of the Revolutionary Army resulting in the very flashy, queer, steampunk aesthetic (aside from Dragon’s plain-ass cloak). So of course I had to implement her nonconformist look when reimagining her as a woman and dress her up to the nines.

I’ve given her very ornate jewelry that is there to tell a story, even if she herself doesn’t know it. I like to think she picks up stuff from her travels that resonate with her, such as a damaged set of earrings with one stone missing or red cup-shaped shells featuring three nestled pearls. Another accessory that cannot go unmentioned is her dragon claw hat pin that keeps her top hat resting on top of her hair (and is definitely used as a weapon when the situation simply doesn’t call for trusty metal pipe). She also has a veil that obscures her prominent facial scar. I imagine she’s not very keen on the reminder of the incident from her childhood that took away her memories. I also kept her chipped toothed because 1) it’s fucking adorable and 2) is a visual reminder that she no longer aligns herself with the nobility who would have gotten such a thing fixed. She is so poised in almost every outward facet of her life from her dignified role as the Chief of Staff to the elegant materials in her clothing that it can be easy to forget she was also a rough and tumble forest dweller. Every time Koala remembers this, he lets out the biggest sigh.

Her hair is inspired by Gibson Girls and Elizabeth Swann from the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie. I wanted it to be fussy and tidy but fall apart when she’s in moments of distress. For example, when she remembers her sisters, her hair starts to look like Ace’s flaming mane. I’m so in love with her, I think she looks like an adorable little porcelain doll that would fuck you up. I made an effort to keep her eyes a little bit manic. I get lost in her steely black orbs (and also Ace’s warm brown ones, but we’re talking about Sabo rn).

Here are her close-ups:

Plot notes for this AU:

For this series of character designs, I wanted the expressions and outfits to be aligned with the canon plot but I don’t know if I have the heart to kill fem!Ace in my AU. I’m too attached and ASL has suffered enough!!!!! But Ace’s death is also a major defining moment for Luffy so it feels disingenuous to completely avoid it. Also a huge aspect of Sabo’s character is carrying on Ace’s will and I have so many thoughts about how the Dressrosa Colosseum scene would play out if they were all women. Oh well, I’ll cross that tragic bridge when I get to it. I’m definitely going to draw some Modern AU Girl Piece ASL though. They deserve to hang out with no stakes 😭 They are sisters!!!

Check out the tag “girl piece” on my blog for my other One Piece genderbends! 🥰

[gay-dorito-dust]

How’d they react to you calling them bro or dude whilst in a pre-established relationship…(platonic/romantic)

Dick: he’s insulted.

Gutted.

He will try to give you the silent treatment for such a shameful thing but ultimately fails as he ends up being the one pawing at you for attention.

‘Do you still like me? Or did you just run out of cute nicknames to call me?’ He’d say one night as your both cuddling in bed together. ‘If it’s the later then I can help you find something, just please spare me and don’t call me dude or bro anymore.’

He’d rather you call him Richard-wait, no he hates that even more because to him you’re not meant to use his fully name, only cutesy nicknames that’d make a grown man sick to his stomach. Nothing else would suffice other than Dickie bird, handsome, babe, hunk, honeybun or anything that wasn’t his name.

He’s go mad or would act delusional and say that everything was fine when everyone could tell that it wasn’t. People who know him have personally came to you and begged you to stop calling him dude/bro because he kept talking their ears off about how his beloved partner is torturing him, which ends up torturing them even more upon hearing about his relationship issues.

Dick would even consult Hayley on what he did wrong, only for Hayley to look at him with those big, big eyes of hers. This was not her level of expertise unfortunately. (Head empty, no thoughts. She can’t do her abc’s guys it’s a real tragedy.)

Jason: ‘I just had my tongue down your throat just now and you had to go and ruin the mood by calling me bro. What the fuck.’ - Jason at some point.

It’s a whole mood killer for him to be honest.

He’s calling you things like chipmunk or sweetheart but here you were calling him dude and bro. He knows for a fact that he’s well and truly out of the friend zone because the shit you’ve done together isn’t platonic in any sort of way.

Thinks Roy had set you up to call him dude or bro behind his back. (He hasn’t)

Jason is petty and will get his own back by referring you as ‘just a really good friend’, ‘buddy o’ mine’ or even worse than both of those; ‘chum.’ 💀

When you go low, Jason was more then willing to go to the depths of fucking hell to the point it had become a game to see who’d call out just how stupid this all was, and at the both of you for ever thinking that this was an excellent idea in the first place.

You’ll probs get punished…I’m just going to leave it there and let your minds guess what that ‘punishment’ was exactly.

Damian:

As much as Damian hates it when you call him Dami, he hates it when you call him dude or bro even more, if that’s even possible.

Damian hates it when you call him dude or bro. He’s not your dude or bro, he’s your partner and he expects no less then darling, my heart or my beloved.

So you calling him dude or bro is more than enough reason for him to give you the silent treatment.

��Until you learn that I am your partner, I won’t want to be anywhere near you if you’re going to keep calling me your bro or dude. It is a disservice to who I actually am to you.’ He says with a huff and beckons Titus to follow, only for the Great Dane to be left confused as to why his human parents were at a disagreement over something silly.

Also Titus, Ace, Jerry, Alfred the cat, Goliath and BatCow are children of divorce because I said so.

So it’s bests that you apologise while you still can because Damian can hold a grudge unlike any other. Even if you didn’t, you’d still crack first before Damian and quickly put an end to calling him dude/bro.

He just thinks being called a dude/bro when in a pre-established relationship is an insult.

He can take a joke but not when it’s aimed at his relationship. He’s well and truly devoted to his relationship -if we’re to completely ignore the whole being Robin thing- that it might as well be an insult towards him too at this point.

[princessbellecerise]

You Kiss Their Scars

Summary ✩ How your lover reacts to you kissing their scars

Warnings ✩ Mentions of violence and blood

Jacaerys Velaryon

You were amused as your lips pressed against the teeth shaped scars, in the shape of tiny little bite marks that Jace explained were from Vermax

“He used to bite me plenty when we shared a crib,” Your husband told you. “He was a nasty little thing. Mother was afraid he’d take a chunk out of my arm—but he never did. He stopped doing it when I bit him back,” He revealed

You giggled as you imagined baby Jace and baby Vermax—both the same size at one point—going at it while Rhaenyra tried to separate them. “So I suppose you’ve both always been temperamental then,” You said

It was no surprise that your husband, who also had quite the temper, related so much to his dragon. The two were one of the same, and you guessed that’s why they got along so well

“Yes,” Jacaerys agreed, a fond smile on his face as he recalled the memories. “We were quite a menacing pair indeed.”

Aegon Targaryen

“She did it again,” Is the only thing Aegon had to tell you in order for you to pull him into your arms, kissing the spot where a nasty red bruise was forming

It was no secret that your husband and his mother did not get along, but never did you think that she would have the audacity to strike him after an argument

It was appalling to you every time it happened, and you wanted nothing more than to march towards her and give the same treatment, Queen be damned

It wasn’t fair that she took out her anger out on Aegon but he begged you, no pleaded with you to not do anything

“It won’t do any good,” He’d tell you sadly, and your heart would ache as you saw the brokenness, the sadness on his face. “She’ll just hate me even more if you act.”

Aemond Targaryen

“Hold still.”

You jutted your tounge out in concentration as you cleaned Aemond’s scar, making sure that it was sanitized properly for the day

Your husband trusting you with such a thing was an act of love itself. The fact that he trusted you to see his deepest insecurity meant alot to you, and all you could do to repay him and hopefully bring up his spirits was pepper light kisses on the skin surrounding it

“There, all done.”

“Thank you, my love,” Aemond smiled slightly as he touched the spots were your lips touched, still wondering how he got so lucky as to find someone like you

Cregan Stark

“Ow! Be gentle, woman,” Cregan said playfully, wincing as you brushed over his ‘scar’ with a wet cloth

Somehow, for some reason, your dear husband thought it would be funny to wrestle with his dire wolf and then he had the nerve to come crawling to you, asking you to patch up his wounds after the beast had bitten him

Of course, it wasn’t really that big of a deal and Cregan wasn’t really hurt, but you still smirked as you pressed a kiss to it like it was a real wound

“There. That should ease some of the pain, you big baby,” You teased, rolling your eyes

Cregan chuckled as he checked your work, looking at the bandage you had placed over some ointment

“What do you suppose it’ll look like when it heals?” He asked you seriously

“It’ll look like you simply have a freckle, Creagn,” You responded sarcastically, and then you giggled as he grabbed your waist and pulled you onto his lap

“Don’t make fun me, wife. You should be proud,” He said, flexing the arm where the bite was. “How many men do you know have taken on such a beast and lived to tell the tale?”

“Only you, husband. Only you.” You snorted at his dramatics, wondering just what you were going to do with your silly, drama queen of a husband

Benjicot Blackwood

There was reason they called your husband ‘Bloody Ben’

You found this out when one day, he came limping home after solving a conflict in the Riverlands, covered in wounds and blood—so much blood

Thankfully, most of it wasn’t his but Benji still did have a few wounds that needed looking after

The Maester was busy, having been sent by your husband to tend to the other men, so you got the pleasure of dragging him to your chambers, making sure that he was clean before you began to stitch him up

The entire time you worked, Benji barely even flinched which amazed you

By the time that you were done with his top half, he’d barely said a word or complained which led to you kissing over a few of his stitches as a reward

“What was that for?” He asked in wonder, a small blush on his cheeks while you grinned

“That, my love, is for being such a good patient,” You told him cheekily, and you did not expect what Benji did next

Standing up, he loosened his trousers and then he grinned as he pointed at the area beneath his small clothes

“Well in that case, I’ll need plenty of kisses here, too. No promises that I won’t move if you touch me there though.”

“Benji!”

[lqvesoph]

Is it over now - LN4

lando norris x fem!reader

summary: your situationship with lando ended 10 months ago… or did it? based on taylor swift’s "is it over now"

warnings: toxic behavior, cheating, smut, p in v, dirty talk, handjob, fingering, edging, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, praise (with slight degradation)

a/n: you have no idea how long it took me to finish this and idk the word count but its long and filthy. Also this gif does things to me… just the way he looked that day🤌🏻 the curls the beard the cheekbones

masterlist | taglist

You knew he was gone. He left exactly 113 minutes ago. His flight had taken off 44 minutes ago. Angrily you turned around in your bed, kicking off the blanket and staring at the blank spot next to you where only three hours ago, Lando’s curly head had laid.

Since then you slept with each other. Again. And had a terrible screaming match. Again.

You knew it was for the better to let him go, you were toxic, your relationship, if you can call it that, had been from the very start two years ago when you drunkenly slept with each other after a celebration party.

Since then it’s been one hell of a ride. Neither of you were very good at the whole relationship and communication thing, so naturally your relationship was based on an endless circle of being somehow happy, until one of you screwed up, you fought, left and ended up in each others bed minimum three days later.

Some might say this behavior exhausts but for the two of you it was what made things exciting and addicting.

His touch, his lips, his body, HE was addictive.

But since the last time you broke up, things had changed. Lando had gotten a new girlfriend, something that made you mad as hell.

He knocked on your door last night, storming in and pinning you to the wall before violently attacking your lips with his.

But that wasn’t what made you mad, this was a rather regular occurrence any time one of you got a new partner. What made you mad was that when he woke up the next morning he didn’t stay like he usually would. He jumped out of bed, calling the previous night a 'mistake' and something that 'shouldn’t have happened'. On top of that he blamed you.

Naturally that resulted in your neighbors, once again, hearing a thirty minute screaming match which ended in you kicking Lando out of your door with the words "Don‘t ever call me or knock on my door again, especially not when you realize she can’t give you what you want!!" "I promise I won’t!!" "Oh you are a lying traitor!!".

You hated that even though he was gone for good now, he still wouldn’t leave your mind.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Fast forward to almost 10 months later. Mason, your very nice colleague picked you up from your office. You met on one of your threehundreds of awkward blind dates your friend had arranged, finding out that you actually worked for the same company. However that didn’t make the date any less awkward, because you mostly talked about work. But at least you kind of found a good friend now. You haven’t spoken to Lando since that night. To be perfectly honest, you didn’t think he actually wouldn’t come back.

"Hey, ready for that coffee?", he smiled.

You grabbed your bag and joined Mason. Together you walked to the cafe you‘ve been going to ever since the first time. You noticed he was a bit nervous for some reason, but you didn’t dare ask why, deep down you didn’t care but you wouldn’t admit that to yourself of anyone.

"Two latte‘s to go, please", Mason placed your order. While you waited you pulled out your phone to check some new messages from your friends.

"Lando Norris spotted with yet another model", Mason read the most recent headline when he opened twitter. "Can you believe that guy, huh?", he huffed.

"I bet she’s got blue eyes", you huffed and shook your head when Mason showed you a picture of the blonde girl with blue eyes who basically looked like your clone. "Predictable." "What?", Mason asked confused. "Oh nothing, I happen to know all his girls literally look the same", you fake smiled but thankfully Mason didn’t notice. For some reason he didn’t know about Lando and you when you met and you were rather happy about keeping it that way.

Sure Lando and you never paraded each other around on Instagram, you never actually were together long enough to feel comfortable with announcing your situationship, but you have been spotted together multiple times in the paddock or at parties.

Mason didn’t need to know about the boy who still kept you up some nights.

Your coffees were placed in front of you, making you look up and hesitate for a second. "Here you go", the waiter smiled and for a few seconds you saw Lando in front of you.

The dark brown curls, the green eyes and lord that smile, it reminded you of him.

"Thanks", Mason replied on your part and grabbed the coffees. "You good?", he asked. You simply nodded, still a little in your thoughts.

"Okay good because I’ve been wanting to ask you something", he said, glancing to you. "Hmm?"

"We‘ve been going on these take out coffee dates for almost 10 months now, and I remember how beautiful our first one was, the blind date. So I’ve been wondering, would you like to be my girlfriend?", Mason asked, glancing down at you to catch your reaction.

You looked at him with a blank face and simply nodded. "Uh-hmm", you muttered, your mind still some place elsewhere, more specifically at one of yours and Lando‘s good nights, with his head between your thighs.

"That’s great!", Mason called happily and brought you into a hug.

"Uh-hmm."

"I think we should go out tonight and celebrate this!", Mason spoke excitedly, pressing a kiss to your temple.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Mason told you to invite a few friends as he did the same so you decided to ask your two best friends to come. And same as you, they were never one to turn down an invitation to a night out.

"So, you’ve been acting a little weird ever since we’ve been here", Mia pointed out, taking a sip from her drink. "Mason asked me to be his girlfriend", you dryly replied, making Mia almost spit out her drink again and Laura shockingly turn her head towards you.

"What?!!", they called in unison. You nodded, taking another sip of your drink. "Well, did you say yes?", Laura pressed, both hers and Mia’s eyes staring you down intensely.

"Uh-hmm", you gave the same answer as to Mason a few hours prior. "That’s- uh great", Mia stuttered over her words for a bit. Her and Laura look each other before Mia looked away.

"Fine, if you won’t say it I will. Finally!!! I’m so damn happy you finally completely moved on from Lando and found someone who treats you better than that piece of junk", Laura started rambling and just in that moment your eyes locked with the devil Laura has been talking and you’ve been thinking about.

No fucking hell. That couldn’t be true.

How can it happen that after 10 months of not running into Lando once while clubbing, toady was the day where it happened?

"We both weren’t great in that relationship", you muttered, slightly defending Lando without even meaning to, your eyes still locked with his.

An arm wrapping around your waist pulled you out of the staring contest. "Hey babe", Mason whispered in your ear and placed a sweet kiss to your temple. You internally cringed at the nickname and the rotting sweet gesture.

Laura’s eyes sparkled at the sight of you, while Mia caught your annoyed looking gaze. She was always the one who understood you and Lando the most out of all of your friends. Maybe because she was such a sweet and genuine human that she believed both of you could change for each other or probably she simply understood how attached you grew to each other that no matter what, that bond wouldn’t break.

And judging from the fact how Lando and you captivated each other just moments ago, that bond also didn’t break in the last 10 months apart.

"We’ll go take a smoke, you wanna come?", Laura asked but you shook your head. Ever since the whole thing with Lando started you never touched a cigarette again. He didn’t like it, it was unhealthy and being with someone who doesn’t smoke made you smoke less as well, until you stopped completely.

"You should really enjoy life a little again", Laura replied, knowing your reasons to quit smoking.

"Maybe I’ve just come to the realization that I don’t need to poison my lungs to enjoy life", you simply answered, rolled your eyes and turned away.

"Can you get me something to drink?", you asked Mason who was still gently rubbing your waist, actually only wanting to bring some distance between the two of you. "Uh yeah sure, what do you want?", he asked. "Just bring me anything", you replied, stepping out of his embrace as a sign for him to get going.

He nodded and turned around but not before placing a gentle kiss to your forehead. You cringed internally.

"Y/n?", his voice suddenly spoke behind you, making your whole body freeze. Lando’s hand wrapped around your waist and pulled you in, something he did quite often when you were 'together'. "What are you doing here?", he whispered and you immediately felt your legs weakening. You had no idea why your body immediately reacted to him and you hated yourself for it.

Lando only smirked when he noticed you wobbling a little and gripped your waist tighter. "Missed me?", he muttered, placing a gentle kiss on your exposed shoulder, making your eyes flutter and your body lean back into his.

"300 days later and you still react to my touch like that", he smirked.

"He really can’t give it to you properly, I can see that from the way he was holding you", Lando snorted, making fun of Mason and you didn’t feel the slightest need to defend your boyfriend because you knew Lando was right.

"You shouldn’t", you warned Lando before hearing someone clear their throat behind you.

Lando dropped his hand from your waist and his gaze darkened when he saw Mason standing behind you

Said boy pulled you into a possessive hug.

"Hey, babe", he smiled, pressing a kiss to your temple before handing you your drink.

You sniffed before realizing it was Vodka Coke. A smirk made its way on Lando’s face when he saw your drink and your reaction. You knew he knew that you hated Coke.

"And you are?", Mason let his eyes wander to the curly headed boy in front of you. "Lando", he muttered, ignoring Mason who held out a hand for him to shake. "Okayyy", Mason whispered. "You wanna dance?", he then turned to you. You simply nodded and accepted his hand that led you into the crowd of people.

Mason pulled you in, wrapping his arms around your waist. "Isn’t that the guy with all of those girls?", he asked, leaning closer to your ear so you’d understand his words over to loud music.

"Lando Norris, yes", you nodded, interwinding your fingers behind Mason’s head. "Do you know each other?"

Flashbacks of Lando and you floated your mind. Driving along the French Riviera in his McLaren, the occasional stop to get in a quickie, or the sneaking away from his engineers to meet in his drivers room. And finally, him peacefully sleeping next to you on that one damned night, his curls a mess on his head, his torso bare with a few red marks on his back from your activities before and his beautiful eyes shut.

"No", you simply replied before placing your lips on Mason’s to get him to stop asking questions.

Mason more than happily gave in, letting his hand wander down to your ass, gently rubbing it. You kissed him harder, wanting him to be a little bit rougher as well, to firmly grab you and not just delicately touch you.

But instead he backed off.

"Woah, what’s gotten into you today? This is totally not like you!", he stated with a confused smile, which made you even angrier. Of course this was like you, he just didn’t know you well enough.

"I’ll be in the restroom for a second", you rolled your eyes before leaving him standing alone in the middle of the dance floor.

You pushed open the heavy door to the women’s restroom, being thankful that no one was there before putting your hands on the marble counter and leaving your head hanging.

Until the locking of the main door made your head shoot up. And to be perfectly honest, you half expect him to follow you in here.

"What happened to your newest toy?", Lando smirked, leaning against the now closed door. You rolled your eyes and didn’t reply.

Lando pushed himself off the door and walked closer to you until he stood directly behind you, looking at you through the mirror. "Don’t roll your eyes at me, baby", he warned.

"Now tell me what happened to that guy? Realized he couldn’t give you want you want?", Lando smirked, quoting your words from the night you last saw each other. You shook your head, not wanting to give into him.

"Come on baby, I saw your face. You didn’t like the gentle touches in the middle of a club dance floor, admit it!", he dared you.

"'Newest toy', what do you think of me? That I slept around with everyone that was in a 1 mile radius of me?", you ignored his words and stared at him through the mirror.

"Did you think I didn’t see you? There were flashing lights", you huffed. "Maybe I wanted you to see me and please baby, don’t play all innocent", he whispered, still standing behind you but coming dangerously close now.

"At least I had the decency to keep my nights out of sight unlike you!!", you called.

"Oh baby, don’t you think I‘ve heard the rumors? About your hips…", Lando stepped forward and let his hands trailed over your hips, "and thighs…", he let them wander further down to your thighs, gently rubbing the exposed skin. You let out a sigh at the familiar feeling and closed your eyes in pleasure, "and those whispered sighs", he smirked and quickly turned you around before lifting you up on the bathroom counter.

"Exactly rumors", you breathed, before he smashed his lips on yours.

Lando’s hands immediately grabbed your legs, opening them so he could stand between them. Then they went to your waist to pull you in closer.

Lando groaned at the feeling of you finally back in his arms.

His hands kept scanning over your body, squeezing your boobs which made you throw your head back and let out a deep moan.

"Been waiting to get my hands on you again for so long, baby," he breathed heavily, speaking into your skin as his fingers fumbled open the top of your blouse. His lips trailed over your exposed chest and stopped just under your collarbone, sucking the fragile skin between his lips.

"You’re saying you missed me?", you teased, trying hard to push the words out before another moan interrupted you. Lando grinned and ripped open the buttons of the white silk blouse, allowing your tits to spill out.

Lando swore he could come from that sight alone. "You're so gorgeous," he muttered, more to himself than to you, before looking back into your eyes.

His lips attacked yours again while his large hand worked your bra covered boobs.

Your eyes fluttered, feeling that all too familiar ache in your core while the large size of his palm against you, made you think of those thick, veiny fingers between your thighs.

Your hips pressed against his, feeling his hard cock against you, making you smirk.

Lando's eyes darkened as you ground yourself against him, faster, harder. His one hand tightening around your waist and his head falling forward on your shoulder.

"Admit it, darling", you whispered into his ear. You could tell me was holding back a moan, his restraint hanging by a thread, and every move you made threatened to break that thread.

You wanted to make him snap, an evil smirk brightening on your face as you moved your hips faster.

While he closed his eyes, you took the opportunity to fiddle with the metal belt around his hips, opening it along with the button and zipper of his jeans.

"Can’t wait, can you, you desperate little whore", Lando smirked, watching you push down his jeans and slide your hands inside his boxers to grab his cock.

Lando's head fell back with a groan as you started pumping his hard cock.

"Missed your hands, darling", he groaned, holding on to your waist tighter when you trailed your finger over his swollen tip before pulling your hand back, tracing them down his abdomen.

"Please, Lan", you begged, knowing your whispered words would make him weak. But he’s been playing this game just as long as you were.

His fingers slipped under the hem of your skirt, quickly stroking up to your clothed core. A heavy moan escaped your mouth.

Lando caressed the inside of your thighs while his lips traced down your neck, leaving a few marks here and there.

His finger pushed your laced thong to the side before lightly gracing your pussy, making your hips buckle into his hands. "Lan-", you moaned. An evil smirk spread on his face. "Now who’s desperate?", Lando whispered, repeating the action twice, pulling away way too quickly.

"I hate you", you breathed, throwing your head back before grabbing his wrist and holding it in place.

Lando shook his head but finally gave in and dipped the tip of his finger inside you. Your grip on his wrist tightening. "M-more", you slightly pleaded, trying your best not to sound too desperate but failing miserably.

"I’ve missed watching you react to me like this, still the very same as the first day", he said, pushing a second finger inside you to stretch you out. A high pitched moan left your throat and your hand let go of his wrist to grip the edge of the marble counter.

His lips were still traveling along your half exposed upper body, one hand pulling down your left bra cup, making your boob spill out before he took your nipple between his lips.

"Lando- I-", you moaned loudly, thanking heaven that he locked the door when he came in and gripping the counter tighter, your knuckles almost turning white.

He pulled his fingers out of you, making you whine at the feeling of emptiness, before you felt his hand trying to get your thong off. You lifted your hips a little to help him, watching as he pushed your underwear in the back pocket of his trousers.

"You should see yourself, darling", Lando smirked mockingly, his fingers being welcomed by her glistening pussy as he traced them along your slit.

"So desperate for me", he cooed, watching your eyes close and a frown forming on your forehead as you moaned.

"It’s funny how eager you are for everything I give you, baby", he chuckled humorless. "You won't call for months and now you want my cock inside of you?"

You whimpered at his words, all while he slowly inserted his finger inside you again.

"Lando- oh my- please", you continued whimpering and pleading, making Lando smirk. "What is it, baby? You're gonna have to tell me exactly what you want, you know how this works", he cooed into your ear.

He was teasing and you knew that, you have experienced it multiple times before. You didn’t want to give into him but damn his long thick fingers and how they felt inside you. You mind already playing images of him fucking you till you’re nothing but a whimpering mess.

"C’mon", Lando demanded firmly. "You've always been mouthy with me, even earlier, so why are you being quiet now, huh?"

"Lan- lando please, more", you whined, while moving your hips on his finger to get some sort of relief. "I just need more, please", you begged slightly, your eyes closed and not wanting to look at the winning smirk on Lando’s face.

"But you already have a boyfriend, mylady", Lando reminded you with an evil grin. You shook your head, the mess of your hair whipping around. "N-no", you tried to deny as he added a second finger.

"Just wanna cum, please- fuck!", you muttered as Lando curled his fingers inside you.

Lando, completely ignoring you, continued with his question. "What more could you possibly want?"

"I want your cock- so bad, just fill me up- fuck, Lando- fuck me, please- I-", you begged, your eyes tired but glistening in desperation and lust. "Jus’ wanna- want you to fuck me hard and fill- uhh- I wanna be full with you please, please Lando", at this point you didn’t even care anymore that you sounded like a desperate slut.

You’ve gone 10 months without seeing Lando in person, of course you had your fair share of fucks but you couldn’t pretend that any of them came even close to pleasuring you the way Lando was able to.

"Such a needy girl", he tsked before wiping you tears away, that you didn’t even notice had started falling down your cheeks. You clenched around Lando’s fingers, loving the way his voice sounded in your ear.

"Oh you want to cum?", Lando looked at you with a devious smile. "Do you think you deserve that?" Before you could reply, you felt his lips pressing against yours, his tongue gliding between your lips without being met with a lot of resistance.

He hummed in satisfaction, tasting the alcohol from the drink you previously had on your mouth before he pulled away, only to let his tongue trail from your lips, over your neck and down to your chest as he sucked on your skin, leaving a dark purple mark on your breast. You were too far gone to realize anything until the sudden bite of Lando's teeth on your nipple shocked you out of your daydream.

"I asked you a question, baby", Lando hummed, licking over your hardened nipple. You blinked down at him, seeing a little blurry. "W-what?"

His grin was wickedly evil as he looked up at you. "Aw, poor baby's already going cock dumb and I haven't even fucked you yet." Your cheeks heated but didn’t give you time to reply before slamming his cock inside you.

You gasped loudly, grabbing the back of his neck for leverage and letting out a strangled cry as Lando continued to fuck into you at high speed.

There was truly no one who could fill you up like he did.

The sound of his hips clashing against yours and both of your strangled moans were the only thing left to hear in the restroom. You felt your pussy clench around Lando’s cock, making him moan into your shoulder. He moved his fingers from rubbing the side of your waist to your clit, touching the already sensitive bundle of nerves and rubbing it as you cried out.

"God! Fuckin- hell- ohh!"

"I think God is the last person to help you right now, darling", Lando chuckled but got interrupted by a moan as your walls clenched around him again. You felt yourself nearing your orgasm with every rock of his hips.

"Fuck, baby you’re so tight", he moaned. "You have no idea how much I missed this tight fucking hole, perfectly clenching around my cock like this- ohh", Lando spoke in a light whisper, rubbing eight figures on your clit.

Your legs shook as you felt your orgasm approaching, your walls tightening. "Fuck, Lando, I- shit, I- I’m cumming!", you let out a breathy moan once more before clenching one last time. Your vision going blurry while your pussy kept throbbing around his cock.

"Lando, please I need-", you winced at the oversensitivity when he kept pounding into you. "Time", you breathed through a moan, gripping the back of his neck tighter as you felt another orgasm approaching. All while Lando never stopped fucking into you even when you came for a second time in a row.

The overstimulation leaving you as a sobbing mess. "Lan- lando, it’s too much! I- I can’t- fuck! 'm cumming, Lando-", you cried, tears streaming down your face, you head falling forward on his chest, not having the ability to keep it upright anymore.

"Yeah? You’re cumming again?", Lando mocked you, rocking his hips a bit slower.

"But I missed you so much, haven’t you missed me?"

"I- missed you- fuck! So much- so fucking much", you cried, your walls repeatedly clenched around his cock.

"Fuck! Lando!", you called pathetically when he started to pick up his pace again and relentlessly started hammering inside you, chasing his own orgasm.

You couldn’t do anything apart from moan, cry and clench around him, feeling another orgasm approaching as well.

"Shit- I’m so close", Lando groaned as a whisper, pulling you closer to him and placing his lips on yours. "I’m cumming- baby- I’m-", he whispered against your lips. Your body already going limp against his as you felt him filling you up with his cum.

A deep and breathy moan left his lips as he slowed down his pace. You felt the sticky liquid dropping out of you and running down the inner side of your leg.

Lando whipped it up with his finger and held it in front of your mouth. Without hesitation you took his finger inside your mouth, swirling your tongue around it and closing your eyes at the taste of his cum on your lips.

Lando gently rocked his hips again, making you whine. "Not again, Lando- please I- I need a minute", you winced, feeling way too overstimulated after cumming so many times in a row.

"Shh, baby it’s okay, just tryna fuck my cum back into you, to make sure it stays there until I can go back inside you again", he reassured you, before slowly pulling out, making you gasp and wince at the feeling of emptiness.

Exhausted you placed your head on his chest and closed your eyes while he held your waist.

"So did you find something greater in all those models’ beds?", you said with a dumbfound smirk forming on your lips, your mind still hazy while trailing your fingers over his bare chest. You felt his chest vibrating as he laughed and shook his head with a smirk. "Oh baby, I think you know exactly that nothing compares to you!"

You chuckled and lifted your head as he reached over to the paper towels and started cleaning your inner leg up a little. "What do we do now?", you asked, a hint of insecurity in your voice, as the reality of your situation came crushing down on you. "Well, I for damn hope you won’t go back to that milk boy", Lando chuckled, reaching for his belt to close his trousers again after tucking his cock away.

You stayed silent, your blouse still halfway open, your body too tired to move. Lando looked into your eyes before reaching to cover you up again. "You wanna come to mine?", he asked while closing the last button of your blouse.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Getting out of the club without Mason seeing you turned out easier than expected, however something you didn’t expect were people hanging around in front of the monegasque nightclub.

As soon as you opened the door, you already heard yours and Lando’s name being called and saw at least ten phones recording you.

Well, now Mason knows anyway, you thought while Lando grabbed your hand tighter and pulled you to his car quickly. Both of you waved a few times while passing the fans but stayed silent for the short walk. Lando opened the door for you before jogging around to get to the drivers side.

You snuggled into the seat of his familiar car, that wore his familiar scent and when Lando started up the car, he put his familiar hand on your thigh. You took a deep breath, you might be toxic but how damn good does this familiarity feel? It might just cancel the bad parts out.

Lando’s fingers drew circles on your thigh and he smirked when he noticed you opening your legs a little bit wider, an invitation to move his fingers up further.

His hand scooted up, pushing the material of your tight miniskirt away and gently tracing along your inner thighs.

"Baby careful or you’ll ruin the seat", he whispered sarcastically. He didn’t give a damn if you actually did and you knew that because this wouldn’t be the first time it happened.

"Lando-", you quietly whimpered when you felt his fingers come dangerously close to your core, still feeling the sensitivity of the multiple orgasms he had given you merely twenty minutes ago, but backed off just before touching you. "Shhh, baby", he spoke, keeping his eyes on the road while entering the tip of his finger.

Your eyes fluttered shut and you sunk down the seat a little. Without having to see, you knew Lando was smiling.

He pushed his finger further inside and immediately followed up with a second one. You quietly moaned at the pleasure.

"Already so fucking wet for me, baby", he spoke. "My good girl", he purred moving his finger faster inside you.

You moaned at his words and the way his fingers stretched you, making you see stars. "L-lando-", you whispered but got interrupted by another moan when he scissored his fingers. Your eyes shot open and you grabbed his arm tighter, your fingers most likely leaving marks on his skin.

You started moving your hips up to meet his fingers, chasing your own release in the passenger seat of Lando’s sports car.

But Lando suddenly slowed down and almost pulled his fingers out of you completely leaving you empty and whining. "L-lando - plea - ahh- please, baby", you couldn’t form proper sentences while his fingers traced your clit.

"Shh, no baby, you’re not coming until we’re home", he gently whispered, making you furrow your brows. He slid both fingers back inside you and picked his pace up again, making you gasp before an idea came to your head.

You let go of his arm and reached over the middle console and started palming the slight bulge in his trousers.

Now it was his turn to let out a surprised gasp. "You are playing a dangerous game, baby", he muttered, gripping the steering wheel tighter. You simply giggled and squeezed his clothed cock through his pants.

Lando twisted his fingers inside you, making you stop your movements and close your eyes. You hectically tried opening up his belt and trousers before sliding your hand inside his boxers, stroking over his tip that was already leaking pre cum.

"Baby-, I’m driving remember", he rasped, his finger still moving inside you but your main focus now laid on his cock in your hands. "It’s not like this is the first time", you breathed and started pumping his cock.

You could see how much he was fighting to close his eyes, which made a sadistic smirk form on your lips.

Because you were too focused on him, you didn’t see that you were already in front of Lando’s apartment.

He slid his fingers out of you and pushed your hands off him as well. "Let’s go!", he sternly said, getting out of the car and walking towards the entrance of his apartment building already, his trousers still opened.

You smirked and left the car as well, hurrying behind him. As soon as you got to the elevator, Lando reached for your hips and smashed his lips on yours again.

His hands moved to your ass and squeezed it playfully.

When you heard the familiar bling of his apartment elevator, he didn’t even look. Lando just moved you backwards out of the elevator, still kissing you. You fumbled his key out of the back pocket of his jeans and opened the door as soon as you got there.

Lando grinned and pushed you against the door to open it up completely before attacking your lips once again, kicking the door shut with his foot.

"Where you wanna go?", he muttered between kisses and moans. "Here is fine", you said breathlessly and pointed to the couch. Lando smirked, remembering what had happened on this couch, remembering catching you making out with a random dude after one of your fights.

"Was it over when he unbottoned your blouse?", Lando smirked, opening your blouse button for button, before pushing it off your body.

You smirked when you realized where he was getting at. But two could play that game, you had also caught him with a random girl on his exact couch.

"Was it over when she laid down on your couch?", you replied with the same smirk, only standing in your lace underwear and walking backwards to sit down on his couch.

Lando moved closer in only his trousers. He placed his strong arms on either side of your head and leaned down so his lips were almost touching yours.

"Was it ever really over?"

taglist

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[jewelleria]

I don’t usually talk about politics on here, if ever. But it’s been almost six months since the conflict in the Middle East flared up again, and I’m finally ready to start. Here are some of my thoughts.

I say ‘flared up’ because this has happened before and it’ll happen again. Because, even though what's currently going on is absolutely unprecedented, those of us who live in this part of the world are used to it. Let that sink in: we are used to this. And we shouldn’t have to be. 

But I use that term for another reason: I don't want to accidentally call it the wrong thing lest I come under fire for being a genocidal maniac or a terrorist or a propaganda machine, etc., etc.—so let’s just call it ‘the war’ or ‘the conflict.’ Because that’s what it is. Doesn’t matter which side you’re on, who you love, or who you hate. 

This post will, in all likelihood, sit in my drafts forever. If it does get posted, it certainly won’t be on my main, because I'm scared of being harassed (spoiler: she posted it on her main). I hate admitting that, but honestly? I’m fucking terrified. 

I also feel like in order for anything I say on here (i.e. the hellscape of the internet) to be taken seriously, I have to somehow prove that a) I’m “educated” enough to talk about the conflict, and b) that my opinion lines up with what has been deemed the correct one. So, tedious and unnecessary though it is, I will tell you about my experience, because I have a feeling most of the people reading this post are not nearly as close to what’s happening as I am.

How do I explain where I live without actually explaining where I live? How do I say “I live in the Red Zone of international conflicts” without saying what I actually think? How do I convey the fear that grips me when I try to decide between saying “I live in Palestine” and “I live in Israel”? I don't really know. But I do know that names are important. I also know that, due to the various clickbaity monikers ascribed to the conflict, it would probably just be easier to point to a map. 

I haven't always lived in the Middle East. I've lived in various places along America’s east coast, and traveled all over the world. But in short, I now live somewhere inside the crudely-drawn purple circle. 

If you know anything about these borders you probably blanched a bit in sympathy, or maybe condolence. But in truth, it’s a shockingly normal existence. I don't feel like I've lived through the shifting of international relations or a war or anything. I just kind of feel like I did when COVID hit, that dull sameness as I wondered if this would be the only world-altering event to shape my life, or if there would be more. 

I've been told that, in order for my brain to process all the horrific details of the past six months, there needs to be some element of cognitive dissonance—that falling into a sort of dissociative mindset is the only way to not go insane under the weight of it all. I think in some ways that’s true. I have been terrifyingly close to bus stop shootings when my commute wasn’t over; I have felt my apartment building shake with the reverberations of a missile strike; I have spent hours in underground shelters waiting for air raid sirens to stop. 

But. I have also gone grocery shopping, and skipped class, and stayed up too late watching TV, and fed the cats on the street corner, and cried over a boy, and got myself AirPods just because, and taken out the trash, and done laundry on a delicate cycle, and bought overpriced lattes one too many days a week. I have looked at pretty things and taken out my phone because, despite it all, I still think that life is too short not to freeze the small moments. 

So I'd say, all things considered, I live an incredibly privileged life—compared, of course, to those suffering in Gaza—one filled with sunsets and over-sweetened knafeh and every different color of sand. One that allows me to throw myself into a fandom-induced hyperfixation (or, alternatively, escape method) as I sit on the couch and crack open my laptop to write the next chapter of the fic I'm working on. 

But there are bits of not-normalness that wheedle their way through the cracks. I pretend these moments are avoidable, even if they’re not. 

They look like this: reading the news and seeing another idiotic, careless choice on Netanyahu’s part and groaning into my morning coffee. Watching Palestinian and Jewish children’s needless suffering posted on Instagram reels and feeling helpless. Opening my Tumblr DMs to find a message telling me to exterminate myself for reblogging a post that only seems like it’s about the war if you squint and tilt your head sideways. 

These moments look like all the tiny ways I am reminded that I'm living in a post-October seventh world, where hearing a car backfire makes me jump out of my skin and the sound of a suitcase on pavement makes me look up at the sky and search for the war planes. They look like the heavy grief that is, and also isn’t, mine. 

Here's the thing, though. I know you’re wondering when the ball will drop and my true opinion will be revealed. I know you’re waiting for me to reveal what demographic I'm a part of so that you, dear reader, can neatly slap a label on my head and sort me into some oversimplified category that lets you continue to think you understand this war. 

No one wants to sit and ruminate on the difficult questions, the ones that make you wonder if maybe you’ve been tinkered with by the propaganda machine, if you might need to go back on what you’ve said or change your mind. We all strive for our perception of complicated issues to be a comfortable one.

But I know that no matter what I do, there will always be assumptions. So, while I shudder to reveal this information online, I think that maybe my most significant contribution to this meta-discussion spanning every facet of the internet is this: 

I am a Jew. 

Or, alternatively, I am: Jewish, יהודית, يَهُودِيٌّ, etc. Point is, I come from Jews. And, like any given person, I am a product of generation after generation of love. 

I'm not going to take time to explain my heritage to you, or to prove that before all the expulsions and pogroms, there was an origin point. If you don’t believe that, perhaps it’s less of a factual problem and more of an ‘I don’t give weight to the beliefs of indigenous people’ problem. But, in case you want to spend time uselessly refuting this tiny point in a larger argument, you can inspect the photos below (it’s just a small chunk of my DNA test results). Alternatively, you can remember that interrogating someone in an attempt to make their indigeneity match your arbitrary criteria is generally not seen as good manners. 

Now, let’s go back to thathateful message (read: poorly disguised death threat) I received in my Tumblr DMs. I think it was like two or three weeks ago. I had recently gained a new follower whose blog’s primary focus was the fandom I contribute to, so I followed them back. I saw in my notes that they were going through my posts and liking them—as one does when gaining a new mutual. Yippee! 

Then they sent me this: 

I tried to explain that hate speech is not a way to go about participating in political discourse, but the person had already blocked me immediately after sending that message. Then, assured by the fact that I surely would never see them complaining about me on their blog (because, as I said, they blocked me), they posted a shouting rant accusing me of sympathizing with colonizing settlers and declaring me a “racist Zionist fuck.” Oh, the wonders of incognito tabs.

Where this person drew these conclusions after reading my (reblogged) post about antisemitism…. I'm not actually sure. But I greatly sympathize with them, and hope that they weren’t too personally offended by my desire to not die. 

For a while I contemplated this experience in my righteous anger, and tried to figure out a way to message this person. I wanted to explain that a) seeing a post about being Jewish and choosing to harass the creator about Israel is literally the definition of antisemitism and b) that sending a hateful DM and refusing to be held accountable is just childish and immature. But I gave up soon after—because, honestly, I knew it wasn’t worth my effort or energy. And I knew that I wouldn't be able to change their mind. 

But I still remember staring at that rather unfortunate meme, accompanied by an all-caps message demanding for me to Free Palestine, and thinking: the post didn’t even have any buzzwords. I remember the swoop of dread and guilt and fear. I remember wondering why this kind of antisemitism felt worse, in that moment, than the kind that leaves bodies in its wake. 

I remember thinking, I don’t have the power to free anyone.

I remember thinking, I’m so fucking tired. 

And before you tell me that this conflict isn’t about religion—let me ask you some questions. Why is it that Israel is even called Israel? (Here’s why.) Why do Jews even want it? (Here’s why.) But also, if you actually read the charters of Islamist terrorist organizations like ISIS, Hamas, and Hezbollah (among others), they equate the modern state of Israel with the Jewish people, and they use the two entities interchangeably. So of course this conflict is religious. It’s never been anything but that.

But I do wonder, when faced with those who deny this fact: how do I prove, through an endless slew of what-about-isms and victim blaming, that I too am hurting? How do I show that empathy is dialectical, that I can care deeply for Palestinians and Gazans while also grieving my own people? 

There's this thing that humans do, when we’re frustrated about politics and need to howl our opinions about it into the void until we feel better. We find like-minded souls, usually our friends and neighbors, and fret about the state of the world to each other until we’ve gone around in a satisfactory amount of circles. But these conversations never truly accomplish anything. They’re just a substitute, a stand-in catharsis, for what we really wish we could do: find someone who embodies the spirit of every Jew-hating internet troll, every ignorant justifier of terrorism, and scream ourselves hoarse at them until we change their mind.

But, of course, minds cannot be changed when they are determined to live in a state of irrational dislike. In Judaism, this way of thinking has a name: שנאת חינם (sinat hinam), or baseless hatred. It's a parasite with no definite cure, and it makes people bend over backwards to justify things like the massacre on October seventh, simply because the blame always needs to be placed on the Jews. 

So when a Jew is faced with this unsolvable problem, there is only one response to be had, only one feeling to be felt: anger. And we are angry. Carrying around rage with nowhere to put it is exhausting. It's like a weight at the base of our neck that pushes down on our spine, bending it until we will inevitably snap under the pressure. I’m still waiting to break, even now.

I wish I could explain to someone who needs to hear it that terrorism against Israelis happens every single day here, and that we are never more than one degree of separation away from the brutal slaughter of a friend, lover, parent, sibling. I wish it would be enough to say that the majority of Israelis (which includes Arab-Israeli citizens who have the exact same rights as Jewish-Israelis) wish for peace every day without ever having seen what it looks like. 

I wish I could show the world that Israel was founded as a socialist state, that it was built on communal values and born from a cluster of kibbutzim (small farming communities based on collective responsibility), and that what it is now isn’t what its people stand for. 

I wish the world could open their eyes to what we Israelis have seen since the beginning: that Hamas is the enemy, Hamas is the one starving Palestinians and denying them aid, Hamas is the one who keeps rejecting ceasefire terms and denying their citizens basic human rights. Hamas is the governing body of Gaza, not Israel. Hamas is responsible for the wellbeing of the Palestinian people. And Hamas are the ones who are more determined to murder Jews—over and over and over again, in the most animalistic ways possible—than to look inwards and see the suffering they’ve inflicted on their own people. I wish it was easier to see that.

But the wishing, the asking how can people be so blind, is never enough. I can never just say, I promise I don't want war. 

When I bear witness to this baseless hatred, I think of the victims of October seventh. I think of the women and girls who were raped and then murdered, forever unable to tell their stories. I think of the hostages, trapped underneath Gaza in dark tunnels, wondering if anyone will come for them. I think of Ori Ansbacher, of Ezra Schwartz, of Eyal, Gilad, and Naftali, of Lucy, Rina, and Maia Dee, of the Paley boys, of Ari Fuld and of Nachshon Wachsman. I think of all the innocent blood spilled because of terror-fueled hatred and the virus of antisemitism. I think of all the thousands of people who were brutally murdered in Israel, Jews and Muslims and Christians and humans, who will never see peace.

My ties to this land are knotted a thousand times over. Even when I leave, a part of me is left behind, waiting for me to claim it when I return. But when I see the grit it takes to live through this pain, when I see the suffering that paints the world the color of blood, I look to the heavens and I wonder why. 

I ask God: is it worth all this? He doesn't answer. So I am the one, in the end, to answer my own question. I say, it has to be. 

Feel free to send any genuine, respectful, and clarifying questions you may have to my inbox!

EDIT: just coming on here to say that I'm really touched & grateful for the love on this post. When I wrote it, I felt hopeless; I logged off of Tumblr for Shabbat, dreading the moment I would turn off my phone to find more hate in my inbox. Granted, I did find some, and responding to it was exhausting, but it wasn’t all hate. I read every kind reblog and comment, and the love was so much louder. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 🤍

Source Reading

The Whispered in Gaza Project by The Center for Peace Communications

Why Jews Cannot Stop Shaking Right Now by Dara Horn

Hamas Kidnapped My Father for Refusing to Be Their Puppet by Ala Mohammed Mushtaha

I Hope Someone Somewhere Is Being Kind to My Boy by Rachel Goldberg

The Struggle for Black Freedom Has Nothing to Do with Israel by Coleman Hughes

Israel Can Defend Itself and Uphold Its Values by The New York Times Editorial Board

There Is a Jewish Hope for Palestinian Liberation. It Must Survive by Peter Beinart

The Long Wait of the Hostages’ Families by Ruth Margalit

“By Any Means Necessary”: Hamas, Iran, and the Left by Armin Navabi

When People Tell You Who They Are, Believe Them by Bari Weiss

Hunger in Gaza: Blame Hamas, Not Israel by Yvette Miller

Benjamin Netanyahu Is Israel’s Worst Prime Minister Ever by Anshel Pfeffer

What Palestinians Really Think of Hamas by Amaney A. Jamal and Michael Robbins

The Decolonization Narrative Is Dangerous and False by Simon Sebag Montefiore

Understanding Hamas’s Genocidal Ideology by Bruce Hoffman

The Wisdom of Hamas by Matti Friedman

How the UN Discriminates Against Israel by Dina Rovner

This Muslim Israeli Woman Is the Future of the Middle East by The Free Press

Why Are Feminists Silent on Rape and Murder? by Bari Weiss

[batchilla]

False Accusations (You know I KNOW right? Chapter Two)

Let me first say thank you for all the kind reception part one received. It was … a surprise, and a welcome one.

Also, a massive thank you to @sunnie-angel for beta reading. If you haven’t read their work… Do yourself a favor and check out their masterlist!

This Chapter takes place over a few days in two mini stories., and I would appreciate being told if at any point this causes confusion. Currently how I’ve done it is as tilted segments. Content warning: this chapter has themes of sexual harassment in the workplace up to the point of groping (from an OC), and corruption. Proceed with caution. Be safe.

The morning after. You are going to murder your partner, Grayson. Perhaps with a gun. Maybe your own two hands. Or maybe you just need coffee.

It's probably the coffee thing. Coffee, then you’ll decide if you're going to kill him and how. As you sit at your table, surrounded by notes you’d made at 4am, the urge to throttle Grayson slowly subsides. You hadn’t slept a wink. You’d had a weird night. But if you were going to do this, help him find this killer… you’d need a plan for if it all goes to hell. A diversion. A plan so that if you’re made, maybe the killer will think you’re on the wrong track. A dummy investigation. But simultaneously one that you won’t overthink, so that you can devote your time and brainpower to the truth. Luckily for you, you have the perfect person to pretend to accuse. After all, your partner, Grayson, is an incredibly weird guy. 8:55 am finds you walking into the station sipping your third coffee of the morning, only to find Grayson sat at his desk. Shirt pressed, tie perfect, hair shampoo commercial glamourous yet slightly messy. The urge to murder your partner returns, just a little. How dare he be so… normal? So unaffected? How dare this man fight crime by night, and be smiling at you as he is now, chipper and bright and perfect, before 9am? The nerve. Maybe you could hit him with a patrol car and claim it was an accident. “Morning detective… Long night?”

Oh.. This fucker. Your partner, Grayson, is the most annoying man alive. You hate how badly you have to fight the urge to grin at the sheer audacity.

She looks exhausted, the poor thing. Dick remembered the feeling, but at some point he’d adapted to running on less sleep than was by any means reasonable. He hoped she wouldn’t need to. That this would be over in a few weeks and she’d be back to getting a full eight hours. “Morning Detective… Long night?” She glares at him like he’s caused personal offence. He raises an eyebrow at her to prompt a response. Inside though, he panics. Had he done something wrong? Could she suspect? No. no of course not. But whatever she said next would surely be important. It was a test of sorts. What would she say she’d spent the night doing? Would she betray his alter ego? Could she sell the lie if she didn’t? “Just had a night in, had a little too much to drink,” she shrugs, opening her bag and removing a notebook. Casual, calm, partially true and nearly impossible to disprove short of a blood test or breathalyser, and even then there was deniability. Dick nods, and looks back down to his computer to hide the grin that splits his face in half. He knows he can’t dwell on it, knows he can’t act on it, but it’s completely unfair that she was that smooth. That helpful. She’d agreed to help him - as Nightwing - instantly. Her words about how Blud owed him a debt had played in his mind on loop for the rest of his patrol. He knew what it felt like to fly. To flip through the air at dizzying heights, gravity a mere afterthought. It was cruel, frankly, that he’d found someone who made him feel even better than that, only for her to be someone he couldn’t be with out of principle and professionalism. It wasn’t that he objected to her as a partner - short of his family, she was possibly the best he’d ever met. Frankly, if she was transferred to Gotham, the bat signal would be turned on far less frequently. And he didn’t object to rules about dating fellow officers, especially one’s partner. Objectively it made sense. But it didn’t change the fact that her smile was the best part of his day. That on the rare times she laughed he could swear he heard an angel just straight up quit its position in the heavenly chorus out of pure envy. That when she’d said she’d help he’d wanted nothing more than to grab her face and kiss her till she was breathless. But he can’t. Or at least Dick Grayson can’t. A new voice breaks him from his spiralling thoughts. “Detective Grayson.” The man standing behind his partner's desk has a hand on the back of her seat, preventing her from swivelling around. 

“We haven’t met yet, I’m Sergeant James McElroy. Seems you spent most of my first day back stuck on a stakeout.” “Pleasure.” he responds, with all the charm he’s learnt to use at galas and parties, forcing down the venom incurred by the way his partner had seemed to lose a gallon of blood at the sound of his voice, and the way she had seemed not to breath since the name was spoken.

He's not touching you. Of course not. He knows better than to do anything so blatant. It's how he’d gotten away with it for so long last time. He doesn’t touch you, or say the things he was so clearly thinking. He would masterfully walk the line between making you feel unsafe, alone, and naked, while never crossing over into anything actionable. Till one day he had. It had been in a crowded lift where he’d used the crush as an excuse to grab and to feel, whispering something vile in your ear. 

He’d figured he’d gotten away with it when you tried to tell your captain and he’d asked if you had a witness. You’d thought he’d gotten away with it too. Till a uniformed officer, Janet Rodwell, had stepped up to have your back. You should have known, really. For the second time in 24 hours you feel like a fool. But while the first time it had been accompanied with a dizzying realisation of love, this time the realisation is dark and chilling to your core. You’d thought you’d won, that it was over. But he’s back and he’s not touching you, but you feel the ghost of his hands all over. You can’t win. He’d been sent away and you thought you were safe again, but he’s back and he’s a sergeant now. Because Bludhaven, as it is, rewards men like him. You can’t bring yourself to look over your shoulder at him, so you look straight ahead, across your desk and to your partner’s adjoining one.

It's not Dick Grayson’s eyes you meet though. They aren’t cheerful, carefree and beautiful. Well, they are beautiful. But they are angry, intelligent, and fierce. You meet Nightwings gaze, and you feel the claws around your lungs relax, even if they do not recede. 

His partner did not rattle easily. Did not panic unnecessarily. 

Pinned down by the Penguin’s smugglers, he’d thought their goose had been cooked unless he could work at his true capacity, so he had shot out the lights and gotten to work. He’d taken out nine, but been unable to find the tenth, until he’d heard the struggle. 

She’d taken him down blind, without drawing her gun. When he’d asked her why she hadn’t, she’d told him she’d lost sight of him in the chaos, and was unwilling to risk it. He wished he hadn’t shot the light out so he could have seen it. 

Still, he had been oblivious. It had hit him like a batarang to the face last night, in that moment where she agreed without hesitation to help him find a serial killer. He’d known she was beautiful, and brilliant. That he had a crush. 

He’d realised last night he was in far, far deeper trouble than that. So, if she was frightened and upset by the presence of this man, then Dick would take his looming over her as a serious threat. He trusted her gut. “You haven’t introduced yourself to my partner, Detective—-” He’s cut off with a dismissive wave that boils his blood. “Oh we’ve met. In fact, she was my partner first. Until the misunderstanding.” There are many ways to snap someone out of a panic. He’s seen sheer rage do it many times. As it does now. “There was no misunderstanding,” she says, her voice firm, her teeth gritted. “Well. I want you to know-” he moves from directly behind her, to her side, leaning down over her, invading her space. Dick wanted to hit him. “I understand that what I did could have been seen as invasive, and you may have felt that I overstepped. I have completed a course, as demanded by HR, and will attempt not to cause you to feel that I have been inappropriate again.”

She takes a deep breath. He can practically hear her count in his head. He stands, moving around the desk to stand beside her, not quite a barrier but a comforting presence, or at least he hoped. “Well. Whatever occurred, we have work to be getting on with, if you don’t mind.” It takes a great deal of the restraint his training has given not to add the words ‘you bastard’, or something far more creative. “But of course. Detective. Detective.”  

Your hands shake as you sit back down in your seat. Your partner, Grayson, returns to his own, his gaze - Richard’s gaze, never leaving your face, crumpled in concern. “I don’t want to overstep… but are you alright? What … did he do?” “I…” you want to tell him, in part. Or maybe you don’t, and you want him to know without having to go through the ordeal of rehashing it all. Maybe by consulting whatever ‘oracle’ he used as nightwing. But you can’t right now. So you don’t. “I… need some air.” Your partner just gives you a comforting smile, a nod, and lets you leave without question. Wingding in the window 

It's five days later, on his patrol, when he notices it. The wingding left in her window. He stops on the roof of the building adjacent to her. As far as city roofs go, this one’s relatively nice. Someone’s placed some potted plants around, in an eclectic attempt at a rooftop garden. Some of these pots contain small pebbles as cover for the soil from the wind. Grinning to himself, he takes a handful. 

Was this a good idea? No. 

Was it deceptive? Well, no more than anything else he did as Nightwing… well, maybe a little more. 

But it hurt, holding her at arm's length, when a part of his soul he tried to ignore yearned to be as close as she would allow. He knows it’s not good. He knows it’s a violation of the utter trust she seems to hold in Nightwing. Really, it would only make things even more messy for his chances as Dick. But he wants to make her smile. Blush, even. He knows she finds him attractive, and in both contexts, but he wants more than that. Over the last week he’s realised just how much he wants to have with her, and it terrifies him. 

If it was simple lust he could deal with it.  But it wasn’t, and so here he was, about to attempt the cheesiest move known to hallmark films, just to see if it would make her laugh at him again. 

He’d managed to be professional while surrounded by highly capable, badass women in skintight clothes for most of his life. He’d had crushes before and gotten over them. He wanted everything with her. And that was not something he knew how to handle, given the mess of their situation. Dick shakes his head, snapping himself out of his doom spiral. He had a detective to meet, and a serial killer to find.

Bap. Bap. Bap. You look up from your book. You’d been getting ready for sleep, wearing your cosy pyjamas, curled up in bed with a book and a hot chocolate. You go still, listening. Bap. Bap. A pause. Then, the rap of knuckles on glass. “I ran out of rocks”

You know that voice. “With you in a moment.” You pull on a dressing gown, and take a moment to curse the fact that your slippers are rabbits before pulling the curtains aside. Nightwing is crouched on your windowsill. You lift it, stepping back as he enters through the window with all the grace of a cat. You know that you shouldn’t be embarrassed to be in your pyjamas, it's late, you had no means of knowing when he’d arrive. But he looked divine in that suit. An adonis. And you're in your old bathrobe and bunny slippers. Truely, you must have done terrible things in a past life. “Nice footwear.” Nightwing says with a smirk. Curse him. Curse his cheekbones and the way his lips look so damn inviting. “You picked up what, five rocks?” you sass right back. Nightwing makes a noise you suspect was supposed to be a scoff, but is more of a squeak. “Do you see a lot of pocket space on this?” 

“Fair.” you say, leading him out of your bedroom and into your living room. He sits on your couch, one leg spread wide, the other’s ankle resting on its thigh, as you open a drawer on your coffee table and produce your masterpiece. Nearly five metres of red string. Names, photos, dates, all studded with pins so pressed so tightly in they haven’t a prayer of accidental removal. You prop it up on the coffee table. 

Maybe your friends were right. Maybe you did need to touch grass. A line of thought for later. You look at Nightwing, who’s no longer relaxed and laying back on your sofa like he owned the place. 

Its years of maintaining a poker face in interrogations and more recently, dealing with his shenanigans that prevents you from grinning. 

He's as pale as you’ve ever managed to see him, and leaning forward now, elbow on knee and chin in hand. “Well, this is… impressive.” He sounded like he’d inhaled helium. “Shall we start with Sergeant McElroy?” you offer, smiling your best ‘there’s nothing wrong’ smile, enjoying making him squirm. “You seem to have … a significant amount of evidence against Detective Richard Grerson?” You fight the urge to roll your eyes as you take a ruler, poking your picture of him between the eyes. You hadn’t planned to do him first, you’d hoped to discuss evidence that would actually lead somewhere. 

This was still going to be fun though. You take a deep breath, and pause for a suitable level of dramatic effect, and begin your game. 

“Detective Richard Grayson. He’s my partner. He’s an excellent detective, and a good man. You might have heard of the charity he founded.” Nightwing makes a noncommittal humming noise. “But is it all too good to be true?” you ask, moving to your first notecard. “Exhibit one. He asked about the file. On its own, innocuous. But then, exhibits two through four. He’s prone to frequent disappearances on cases. He often knows a little too much about the criminal underside of Blud. Things that I have triple checked are not in any police database.”

You run a hand through your hair. “He’s a highly trained combatant. I once saw him take down nine men armed with guns, in the dark. They don’t teach that at the police academy.” “No? No.” Nightwing says, clearing his throat. “I mean yes. That is… suspicious.” “Incredibly. Which brings me to exhibit five. Now I’m no behavioural analyst or shrink. But I know my basics. Childhood trauma and instability can have… lingering impacts. I… don’t feel the need to dredge up his past, but I did look into it… and it’s grim. He was then taken in by Bruce Wayne. His relationship to his father, whatever it is, is something he’s even tighter lipped about then… everything else honestly. It’s not on the board because it’s circumstantial at best… but he has this skill of being able to hold long conversations and yet you come away not having learnt anything deeper about him.” 

He was pretty sure he’d been nodding for a good thirty seconds at this point.  

It would be funny if it didn’t hurt so much. 

The worst part was that it was all well reasoned. Practical. He had done everything she accused him of. She had just drawn a far more down to earth conclusion, that he was a corrupt cop, rather than Nightwing. 

It made sense. Too much sense. How could he shut this down without seeming invested in his own innocence? 

That isn’t what causes his lungs to burn though. No. The root of that was that even if he’d forced himself to maintain a professional - if friendly - distance from her, he would have hoped that she trusted him. 

But in this moment, looking at the evidence, looking at her holding that ruler to his photo’s face like a judge's gavel ready to condemn… he knows. He knows that she will never look at Dick the way she does as Nightwing, happy to see him, believing in his mission, ready to help as soon as he’d asked. Even if he clears himself of this crime, she would surely suspect him of others. 

He’d known it, at least on one level, ever since he’d first met her. He knows it now all the deeper, and he wants to scream. Dick Grayson will never get to tell her how truly wonderful she is.

How highly he regards her. 

How she is one of the reasons he keeps fighting for Bludhaven. 

Dick Grayson will never get to tell her that he loves her. 

But… perhaps Nightwing could have something. Because if she was his north star, then the way he’d felt when she agreed to help him had been like being engulfed by a supernova. 

If she was water, then seeing her cosy and ready for bed and smiling as she let him in through the window had been an oasis in the Sahara. 

If music was the food of love, her attempts not to laugh and stifled giggles over his peeps popcorn had been a symphony orchestra. 

But he’d never have her as himself. Not at all. Nightwing though? She at least found him attractive. Aligned with his ideology. No, he’d never feel that warmth of 10,000 stars directed at the real him. 

No, he’d never be able to be quenched by her life saving presence. 

No, he’d never feel her laughter shaking his bones as if in a musical crescendo.

But even the dimmest and most distant star gave off some light.

Even the last drop in an empty water skin was better than nothing.

Even the memory of a melody could be sweet. True, he would only ever have scraps of her affection. True, he could flirt, and perhaps go even further… but he’d never truly be with her. 

But who was a starving man to deny scraps of sustenance? He’d take what he could have and try to ignore the lingering hunger. 

“Perhaps we should discuss… another suspect?” he prompts, realising how long he’s been silent. How long she had been too, watching him with a strange, concerned look.

She nods, and moves on to their Captain.

Dick is almost relieved when some ten minutes later Oracle calls in a robbery downtown. “Well - sorry Sherlock.” He takes a picture of her board for further study. “I’ll be around next week to continue this discussion, and look over this in my own time till then. Duty calls.” “Be safe,” She says softly, as he’s halfway through the window He looks over his shoulder. “As you wish.”

Taglist: @jasontoddproblems

@sunnie-angel

@stormz369

@love-theangel-blog

@torchbearerkyle

@interwebseriesfan24

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@soradragon Banner credit is to @strangergraphics

If you would request to be added to my taglist, please reblog the fic. Honestly please just reblog it anyway? I worked hard on this. Nothing more demotivating than a fic getting only likes. If you want part three, reblog part two. 

[meowzfordayz]

how they speak up for you — mitsuri, shinobu, kyojuro, sanemi, muichiro

Author’s Note: short and sweet, and hopefully a lil funny too. 😆

how they speak up for you — mitsuri, shinobu, kyojuro, sanemi, muichiro

Kanroji Mitsuri x Reader, Kocho Shinobu x Reader, Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader, Shinazugawa Sanemi x Reader, Tokito Muichiro x Reader

Word Count: ~800

CW: explicit language, mild sexual content

Emergency Request Fulfilled: could you write comfort for when Their S/o like absolutely hates speaking up for themselves, like someone could be walking all over them and they'd be like "Oh, its fine" bc conflict= worst enemy? I would like to request Muichiro (love him sm) and Sanemi if that's okay, and the rest you can decide (-if you want to add more.)

~faqs~

Mitsuri will be all over the situation (in a good way, ofc 😌)

“Baby, didn’t you want your drink hot?” —> she’s already staring daggers at the barista who made your drink 😒

“Hm?”

You do your best to conceal the pinch of your eyebrows, as well as the goosebumps raising on your arms 🥶

“I thought cold drinks made you cold, and you don’t like being cold?”

… “Hm?”

She’s not buying your nonchalance 🙃

“That’s it.” Uh oh. “I’m getting you your drink made right.”

😳🫣🫠

“Nonono, Mitsuri, it’s fiiine.” 😭

Arms crossed, her lips purse, eyes narrowed as you weakly grin and take a big sip 😄

“If you won’t let me get you another one, then at least wear my sweater?”

🤯 “Okay!” 🤭

So maybe she’s wearing a cropped tank top underneath — you’re only a mere mortal after all 

— #oops my thirst made an appearance 😅

Short girlfriend = scary girlfriend

And that’s a compliment 😎

Shinobu doesn’t need height, bulk, or a dick to defend you

Her scathing tongue and unnerving stare are plenty

Not to mention, she’ll go full Karen if need be, but the more eloquent, calculating, deceptively sweet version 😌

She can make anyone feel like a complete idiot in 2-3 sentences, give or take 

Which does include you, but you don’t argue too often 😅

Basically:

It’s highkey hot when she speaks up for you 🤭

But it may or may not make you cry when her sharpness is directed toward you 🥲

Fortunately, you in distress is also one of few things that immediately softens her — at least, when she’s the reason for it 🥺

Kyojuro always tries to solve your problems for you

Not bc he thinks you’re incapable, and not w/o your expressed consent/prior communication

But he just hates seeing you unhappy, uncomfortable, unsafe — really anything that isn’t grinning and laughing

He understands there’s a time and place for more difficult and painful emotions, but why on earth wouldn’t he go out of his way to ensure those times and places are as few and far between as possible????? 🤨

So, obvi, he more than willingly goes out of his way ☺️

“Do you want me to say something?” his quiet breath warms your ear, softening the frustration growing in your chest

“I dunno,” you sigh, gesturing hopelessly at the person who’d just cut you in line, “We’re all going to the same place anyway.”

“True,” he shrugs, “But that was quite rude and noticeable of them.”

“Do you want to say something?” you tease, elbowing his side with amused fondness

“Not if it discomforts you.”

“It wouldn’t discomfort me,” you mumble, cheeks darkening nonetheless, “You’re so cute.”

Albeit, you aren’t sure whether to feel proud or embarrassed when he somehow intimidates the person who cut you into leaving altogether 😅

On one hand, you know Sanemi has your back ☺️

On the other hand, you aren’t 100% positive that that’s a good thing 😬

“I swear, does that bitch even know I exist?!” 😤

… 🫣

“I bet she doesn’t! Otherwise she wouldn’t dare treat you like-” 😤

“And this is why she doesn’t know you exist.” 🥲

“Pardon?” 😐

“Sanemi, I love you, and I so appreciate how ready to go to war you are for me, but-”

“Ooh darling, you have no idea. Go to war? I will be the war for you.” 😤

“So sweet,” your eyes roll, “How about you just let me handle it?”

“And how are you handling it?” he scoffs, “With smiley face emojis?” 🙄

…

“You deserve kindness and honesty. Not her manipulative bitch shit.”

“I’ll block her.”

“You what?!” 😳

“Would that suffice?” 😅

“Actually… yeah.” Sanemi is very surprised. Gushing now, “I’m so fucking proud of you.” 🥰

It’s kind of alarming when Muichiro speaks up for you

Bc you get a faint taste of what he was like before he’d really opened up to love 😕

And that Tokito Muichiro is sharp and cold as steel w/ a -139% tolerance for bullshit

Impossible to impress 😬

But your Muichiro hugs you when you’re feeling low, rests his chin on your shoulder while you do your best to draft a stern, confident text msg to your asshole “friend”, and is more than happy to tell you what he would do were he in your shoes

… you usually ignore his advice 😅

Buuut sometimes he reaches over and hits SEND before you can stop him 🫠

“MUI! I was going to delete some of that!” 😭

“Nah, it’s great as is.” 😎

[athynathens]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ lust for you.

“Poor baby can’t even take the pleasure anymore. Am I fucking you too stupid, doll?”

PAIRING. Bakugo Katsuki x You/Reader

ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE. This takes place in the Boku no Hero Academia Universe, but Class 1-A are not pro heroes, rather they are just ordinary people only. This implies that there are no quirks involved.

SYNOPSIS. You were asked to accompany your friend to a fan signing event to her favorite band. No matter how much you resist, you have no choice but to abide to your friend’s persuasion. There, you met a certain blond, known for his rough personality. Something attracted you to him — and him to you. The tension, the glances, the touches, the sparks…and the goddamn sex is fucking something.

WARNING. long oneshot, minors dni, porn with plot, 18+ scenes, mature scenes ahead such as soft to rough sex, 69, face-sitting, cunninglis, degradation, dirty talking, and chocking

AUTHOR’S NOTES. holy shit guys. I wasn’t really expecting my previous bakugo katsuki one shot to be such a hit. Im really grateful for the votes!! Here’s another smut oneshot for yall! I have other things in store such as a kiribaku x reader oneshot and daryl oneshot, but I figured that many wouldn’t like it since i am not that popular yet so imma do another bakugo oneshot!! hope yall enjoy this since i had a hard time thinking of an interesting plot. also btw, “your friend” won’t be given a name in this oneshot so that you may name her however you want.

When your friend is randomly nice to you, buying your favorite food and drink, offering to watch your favorite show — don’t you think this is where it gets suspicious? If there is one thing you’ve learned with your beloved friend is that there is always a reason for everything. However, there is a pattern to her manipulation.

The more things she got for you, the greater the reason behind her actions and vice versa.

You already have speculations with what your friend might want. It’s either she wants to watch the movie where her favorite actor stared in; it’s probably a trip to a mall; it’s possible she would want someone to do her homework. And heck, it isn’t even her birthday today.

It turns out…she wanted you to go with her to a fansigning event of the GZB aka the Ground Zero Boys.

You had no idea how the hell she managed to convinced you, but seeing how desperate your friend is, you began to see how much she adores the group. You’ve seen her room plastered with posters of them. She even watch their reality show so much to the point she got scolded for being so less attentive these days. You wondered if this group is even worthy enough for her to become so detach with life.

Yet seeing how she is on her knees, practically begging and pleading while hugging your legs. You almost had no choice but to say yes.

But the thing is that…

…you began to regret going.

“WE LOVE YOU, GZB!!”

“GZB! GZB! GZB!”

“RED RIOT!! LET ME LICK YOUR ABS!!”

“CHARGEBOLT!! YOU CUTIE PATOOTIE!!”

“CHOCK ME LIKE YOU HATE ME, DYNAMIGHT!!”

“DEKU!! SLAP ME PLEASE!!”

“MARRY ME, SHOTO!!”

What kind of sorcery fuckery is this? You were astonished with the screams of desperation from the fans. You wanted to leave immediately because the yells kept increasing as their comments became more and more lewd. You can even see the securities are getting uncomfortable with their comments.

Damn. The sun isn’t even up yet. “These people are down bad for them…” You mumbled beneath your breath.

Your friend grabbed your wrist to guide you stay at the front of the doors, it was a tough and rough journey — you were stepped on, kicked on, pushed on, and pulled on.

You wanted to curse loudly for that rough journey. Heck! It wasn’t even supposed to be that fucking tough. However, your friend seemed really happy that you were there for her, so you decided to shrugged it off…for now.

After like what it felt like hours later, the doors finally opened, causing a riot to occur. Everyone was pushing each other, even though security was guiding everyone. You and your friend fought through the crowd of desperate fans till you two found a spot at the front. You had no idea if it’s luck, but the spot you two got is definetly a place where you can see them clearly, but it means they could see you two clearly as well.

Fans glared at the both of you out of jealously. They cursed at the both of you for getting such a clear spot to see them.

However, their glares diminished when the band finally revealed themselves to the crowd — looking all manly, dashing, confident, and handsome as fuck.

They greeted their fans, causing everyone to scream in support. The band can only laugh before introducing themselves with a mic.

Your eyes landed on a certain blonde guy with eyes so red it can penetrate your soul.

A couple of days ago, you did some research about the group, therefore, you absolutely knew who this person is, and he is…

“DynaMight,” He introduced himself gruffly.

Damn. That kind of hotness exists in this world, huh? The fans started to scream louder than before. To be honest, you can’t blame them since Dynamight is fucking hot, but the problem is that he is a bit…rough.

“Awww!! Kacchan here has fans after all!!” A cheerful blonde with a lightning strike on his hair teases.

“YOU WANNA DIE, DUNCE FACE?” Dynamight yelled angrily.

According to your research, he is known to have a rough personality, people would often mistaken him as mean, but that’s just really how he is. His rough personality parallels with his drumming skills. DynaMight brings out his angry emotions through drums, creating a somewhat desirable yet scary atmosphere around him.

There is not much known about him since he is pretty secretive and mysterious. It’s either that or he’s smart enough to hide from paparazzi.

The only known information is his real name, which is Bakugo Katsuki alias DynaMight.

As the day goes, you admitted that this fansigning event is quite entertaining. The interviews, the questions, and the answers are quite intriguing to listen to. You even had a thought if you should stan this group or not, definitely not stanning because of Dynamight only.

However, a question from Chargebolt made everyone’s ears perked up, especially your friend.

He asked if someone could guess what DynaMight’s favorite hobby is. Whoever can guess it correctly can win a chance to go up in stage and take a photo with DynaMight.

No one knew the answer to that, but it’s no surprise since he is secretive. However, you recalled that he would often post on Instagram about mountains and hiking gear. You came into a conclusion that he probably likes mountain climbing.

You elbowed your friend then, you whispered her the answer. She seemed hesitant to answer, but you gestured her with your head to say it on the mic.

With uneasiness, she got up to the mic and said her answer.

Bakugo’s wide eyes say it all, verifying that your friend got the right answer. Everyone cried in agony, disappointed that they lost their opportunity to make their wattpad life happen. Your friend only giggled then did a thumbs up to you while you shyly did the same thing.

“WHATTTT? You like mountain climbing, Katchan?” Chargebolt screamed, slamming the table with his hand.

Katusku clicked his tongue, “You’re just fucking oblivious, Dunce Face,” He replied with a middle finger.

“EXCUSE ME?” Kaminari retorted.

“Mountain Climbing? Say, Bakugo, wanna go with me sometime?” Todoroki asked nonchalantly.

“In your dreams, ice princess,” Bakugo middle fingered him.

“P-Please don’t start here…” Kirishima went in between the two, stopping them by the chest.

Deku clapped his hands, releasing the tension between the two. “Now! You may come up on the stage and take a pic with DynaMight!”

Your friend giggled once more, grabbing your wrist to pull you forward to take a pic with him. You tried to protest, but she was very stubborn so you had no choice but to agree. Besides, you protesting in the middle of this event is gaining the attention of the jealous fans.

Meanwhile, Bakugo Katsuki has his eyes on you.

You don’t seem to notice his gaze, and he wished it would be kept that way. The last thing he wants is for you to catch him staring at you.

He already knew that it was you who knew the answer to Denki’s question. The latter saw you whisper something to your friend’s ear before the latter got up to the mic to speak.

He had to admit, but he was fucking impressed since not even his stalkers know about this.

The blond watched as you shyly got up in stage. He watched your body movements — the way your body would shrink to the floor, the way your fingers fidget the front of your shirt, the way your thighs clenched, and the way your eyes avert away from his.

Shit. This is fucking bad. Katsuki gulped.

It’s been months since Katsuki had sex. Being an idol prevents him from doing such activities. To be more precise, his company does not allow their members to do pornographic work since it will ruin their image.

However, the band may or may not have disobeyed that rule.

The blond hasn’t gotten laid in months already. This is due to his fucking busy schedule — their strict CEO, the rules, the tours, the practices, their fans, their scandals, and stalkers are factors keeping him from going out to do his thing.

“Katsuki! Stop being so stiff and pose for the camera!” Kirishima yelled, cackling while clapping at the scene in front of him.

His eyes quivered, snapping back to reality as he immediately placed his hand on your shoulder while his other hand is on his pocket. Noises of cameras clicked from all sides, taking a picture of the rare photo of the one and only DynaMight alone with fans.

You can feel your heart beating uncontrollably. The weight of his hands left something on your stomach to your chest. You began to wonder if this is because he’s just fucking hot. No one in your college can even match his damn level. However, you decided to shrugged this feeling off and focused on the camera.

After a few minutes, the shooting ended. His band members only laughed while clapping, congratulating their angry-looking friend. While they were doing that, you can feel the weight on your shoulder dwindle.

You assumed that he was just removing his hand from your shoulder. What you were thinking was right, but it felt different.

Instead of lifting his hand, his fingers went down to your back as he traced your spine. Your back clenched at this seductive action of his. Thighs clenched and arched back as he continued tracing his fingertip down.

— Holy fuck, stop the car, you weren’t mentally ready for that.

You tried your best to not show any facial expressions at least, but it was fucking hard.

In the first place, you didn’t even know if he did this on accident or he’s actually teasing you. The last part sounded unbelievable since it is giving delulu vibes.

This is not the situation where delulu is solulu.

He stopped traching when he reached the end of your back, releasing his fingertips from your back. This allowed you to sigh in relief, feeling your own sanity coming back to you.

Katsuki watched as the staff member gestured you to go back to your places with your friend. He analyzed your movements, looking at your thighs and body as you walked to your place.

The event ended with a blast. Everyone was smiling in happiness as they all walked out those doors. Your friend kept fangirling on the photo incident both of you had with DynaMight. She can’t stop talking about how hot he was. Normally, you would get annoyed with her fangirling, but for once you agreed with her.

You may deny it, but you can’t shrugged the warm feeling he left across your back. The scent of his masculine cologne lingers around your upper body. Sniffing his cologne caused you to have a faint blush on your cheek. You can still remember that “sexual” action he did on your back. You couldn’t believe that his fingertips even had this effect on you in the first place.

You began shrinking down to the floor when you remembered how his eyes kept glancing in your direction — how he would suddenly grin and smirk when he caught you staring back.

Your cheeks were getting warmer each second so you excused yourself to use the bathroom. You practically ran to the bathroom, not wanting to delay any longer. As soon as you entered, you washed your face with cold water, trying to cool the warmness of the cheeks, but it isn’t working. Since it wasn’t working, you exited the bathroom with a disappointment look.

However, you stumbled across a hard chest which took you off balance. You were about to scold this person till you saw who it was — Bakugo fucking Katsuki. Your entire demeanor halted under his piercing gaze, you subconsciously lowered your head, not wanting to meet such a gaze.

“Oi. You were that distracted with your own thoughts to the point you didn’t even notice me?” He grumbled with a slight smirk.

Your throat gulped in response, “M-My b-bad…” You stuttered, immediately walking away from this situationship.

“How did you know?”

Your body turned, tilting your head in confusion. “How did I what?”

Bakugo rolled his eyes. “Know about my hobby?”

“Why do you want to know?”

The blond clicked his tongue in annoyance, crossing his arms which bulges his arms even more. “Do ya always ask so much fucking questions? Just answer the fucking question.”

Your body flinched at his angry tone, causing you to look away from him now.

A sigh left your lips, “Through Instagram. You keep posting stuff about mountain climbing? So thats how I concluded your hobby.”

Katsuki arched his brow, crossing his arms while tilting his head to the side. “Hm. How interesting. Ya fan of mine?”

“No. I just got curious to why my friend like you and your band so much so I looked to all of your accounts,” You replied, not wanting expose that you are kinda a fan.

The corner of his mouth fought a smirk. “Oh? Ya for real?”

“Yeah. I am for real.”

“Hm. Nah. Don’t believe it.”

“That’s your problem, buddy.”

He bent down, leaning his body forward. “Exactly. That’s why you need to help me understand…” A cocky grin is now plastered on his face.

You scoffed. “Why me?”

He only stared at me for a moment, then he began letting out some laughter, displaying his teeth. You only stood there in confusion. I do not get his humor. His happy atmosphere flashed right through my soul — just like how white damn teeth.

Moments later, footsteps were getting closer to them. You didn’t have time to react, and Bakugo took the initiative to grab your arm to pull you inside a small room. He shoved you two inside that room. A rough hand covered the sounds coming from your mouth. You had the damn urge to just fucking bite his hand.

The footsteps later diminished, causing you to even curse loudly against his mouth. He rolled his eyes, and then he removed his hand on your mouth. He lets out an ick to feel your spit and saliva on his hand.

“Don’t give me that damn ick face! You pushed me in here with your damn gorilla hands on my fucking face!” You silently screamed.

“Listen, woman. Ya look fucking smart so think about it clearly. Would you rather be caught with me and start a rumor? I’m pretty sure ya already know how fucked up our fans can be,” He reasoned, wiping his hand on his pants.

Your tense eyes soften. “R-Right. My bad…”

It’s his turn to sigh. “It’s fine. Your reaction is understandable.”

Damn. You were surprised that this hot-tempered drummer can be considerate. If you were being so honest, it really contradicted his whole rough character.

Later, you just realized how close he is. The tight space made you two really collide with one another. His knee was in between your knees. Both of his hands are actually trapping you; the right hand beside your head and the other is beside your forearm. The room began to heat up — or maybe that was just you.

“Nervous?” He asked gruffly.

Fuck. You don’t even want to look up, knowing his cocky grin is on his face right now.

Your hand slowly reached for the doorknob. “U-Um. Maybe I should get goi—” You were interrupted when he swiftly grabbed the doorknob and locked it.

Your heart beats faster, scared or probably excited with what’s happening.

“I’ll be fucking straight forward. I want sex, and I seem to want you to satisfy me.” Your face turned into a tomato at his straightforwardness.

“W-Why me?” You just had to ask.

“I want you. Isn’t that enough?” He answered, slowly creeping his hand around your waist.

“O-Okay…? But I’m a virgin…”

“That doesn’t matter to me. I’ll be slow. Besides, if we talk about weirdness, don’t you think it’s supposed to you weirded out by me asking for sex?” Bakugo asked, holding you in place.

You tilt your head, “Weird? What do you mean?”

The blonde chuckled pathetically, “I’m an idol, expected to be that perfect doll for the fans to practically do anything they want to do. Here I am, asking someone to relieve my sexual needs…”

“There’s nothing weird about it. You’re human who craves for physical touch, and I don’t blame you for that. Besides, I don’t think you should be ashamed of craving for it. Craving for something is what reminds us that we are human.”

A shimmer and twinkle counterclockwise his eyes. His mouth began to create a small smile, satisfied with your answer. He remembered that he asked this question to other of his flings, and he wasn’t satisfied with their answers — they always answer the same thing: “quit your job then” or “you chose this life so live up to it.”

How can he explain to a total damn stranger that being an idol is both his gift and curse; it’s similar to a love-hate relationship. Bakugo can’t just quit and leave his job since drumming is his passion and source of happiness. It was the only way to relieve his stress and anger plus earn profit from. He turned his passion into something he can get money from. And he truly wished that it would be like that. Therefore, he just can’t quit.

The blonde brought his hand on your face, removing the baby hair covering your blushing face. “I’ll ask again…” He rested his hand on your cheek, feeling the heat against his skin. “…do you want to sleep with me?”

You looked away, eyes quivering in excitement and nervousness. “T-Take it slow p-please…”

He shook his head and used his finger to guide your chin to his face. “Words, please.”

“Y-Yes…”

.

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Katsuki brought you back to one of his houses in Japan. He drove from the fansigning event to his house with his motorcycle. The blond fondled across his pants and aggressively looked for the right key to open the door. He got angrier each minute, feeling his bulge on his pants.

Not to mention, he didn’t want to keep the lady waiting.

You noticed his stressed state so your hand positioned itself on his. “I’m not going anywhere so calm down.”

His breath hitched with your soothing tone, causing him to calm his tense shoulders. With a clear mind, he shuffled across the keys till he found the right one. As soon as he did, he dragged you inside and slammed you on the door. Your loud gasped echoed on his ears, and he immediately crashed his lips against yours.

You whimpered against him, feeling his tongue lick across your lips. Your mouth opened, allowing his tongue to toy and manipulate it with his own. His calloused hands travelled down your hips then to your ass, squeezing it before he lifted you.

He guided your legs around his hips, pushing his hard bulge into your clit. You moaned loudly against his mouth, releasing juices in your pussy. You knew he was screaming “big dicc energy” but you never apprehended that he will be this fucking big.

He pulled away for a moment. “Fuck. I’m so sorry,” He apologizes, caressing your body.

“I didn’t ask if I can kiss you…Fuck, you’re driving me so damn crazy…” He added, pushing you down to his bulge.

Your cheeks heated up, “I-Its okay…I already said yes to you a while ago…”

Bakugo rested his head to your shoulder. “Shit, I’m sorry but your first might be on the sofa and not on a bed. I can’t wait any longer.”

You smiled, “Location doesn’t matter. The person I’m with is what matters.”

An arrow stuck his heart, cheeks heating up with those words. It stimulated something inside him, his heart beating faster than normal — by normal, it means that he never felt this thirsty and hungry for someone else.

This was his first time being this hungry for someone.

His hands that were on your legs traveled up slowly, groping and caressing your thighs. He then landed his hands around your neck, placing pressure around the circumference of your neck. This caused you to chocked a bit, giving him the opportunity to lock lips again.

Both his hand and lips suffocated you, making you dizzy from pleasure and pain. Your hands gripped his chest, then traveling it up to his neck. You landed your hands on his hair, bringing him closer to you, forcing both of your bodies to collide even more. His bulge was long and fat, you can feel it resting on your stomach. The thought of it caused you to shiver in ecstasy.

He suddenly started walking, not even thinking of removing his lips from you. While doing so, he skillfully removed his leather jacket and held you by your ass, groping it as hard as he can. With the support of his hands, you tried to unbuckle his belt. This action can only make him laugh against the kiss.

“Calm down, sweetheart. I have all night to ravish you completely,” He whispered, licking his upper lips. Your face heated up, realizing how eager you were.

He gently let you down on the sofa and retracted his body from yours. With a smirk, he placed his hands on his back and slowly removed his shirt. His abs placed quite a show as his shirt got disposed to the ground.

“Got all shy, didn’t ya babe?” He asked, bending down to your thighs.

“Don’t worry…” He pecked your thighs while staring at your eyes. “…I’ll take care of ya, sweetheart,” He winked before pulling down my pants and undies in one go.

The cold air brought shivers to your heated bottom. Just by the thought of your own pussy bare in front of his eyes made you shy. Therefore, you subconsciously closed your legs, not wanting to embarrassed yourself further.

Bakugo growled, “I never asked to cover up, babe.”

“B-But it’s embarrassing…” You stuttered out, attempting to cover your pussy more by bringing down your sweater. Although, this action only caused your shoulders and breasts to be more noticeable.

The blond only chuckled, combing his hair back. “Sweetheart, I’m letting this go since this is your first time.” Your head tilted, confused with what he is insinuating.

He unexpectedly shifted your legs in an angle where he can bare your pussy on the breeze. Then, he suddenly opened it, by the ankle holding them tightly. The blond dropped a saliva on your pussy, making you to shiver as your pussy clenched at the warm sensation.

“Never, as in never, close your fucking legs. Your pussy…” He lets one of your legs go to only slightly touch your clit. “…is worth exploring. My cock and fingers is eager to tour around your pussy.”

Holy shit. This is not what you expect in sex. Sure you’ve heard about dirty talking, but never did you think that such words would rile you up. Your fingers covered your eyes, leaving small gaps in between to see the view.

“W-What about yours…?” You asked shyly. “W-Will I explore y-yours too..?”

Katsuki only chuckled, traveling his hands down to your thighs from your ankles. He asked with alluring tone, “Ever heard of 69, sweetheart?”

Your face heated up. Of course you know what that is, all the sex talk with your friend has corrupted your mind. Never in your life would’ve thought that you will experience it.

Your head moved up and down, agreeing to his question. This action made him grin in satisfaction. “Good, that’s what we will do. Are ya up for it, babe? No harm in saying no.”

You shuddered — him being considerate stimulated your innermost needs. So, you can’t help but say yes….

Katsuki did not hesitate and flipped you over. He laid his back on his couch while your clit’s on top of his pecs. Oh fuck. You only realized how embarrassing this position is. Juices from your pussy only dripped down to his pecs, and you can feel pussy clenching and unclenching. You had no idea what to be embarrassed of first. 

Him staring at your bare pussy or the fact that your pussy is reacting like this.

“What a beautiful pussy,” He claimed, placing his middle finger on your folds. This caused more juices to spill out. You only shivered, gasping loudly when you released more of your juices.

“Holy fucking fuck, sweetheart,” He bit his lip, realizing how wet you are.

Blushes of red swept across your face, filling every skin with its redness. All this blushing almost made you forget about an aching bulge in front of your face. Your hands unbuckled his belt and pushed down his boxers and pants.

This is where you only noticed how it towered your face; it was in fact huge and thick. Now, you’re wondering if this would even fit inside you due to its humongous size.

“Go on, sweetheart,” He ordered softly. “Suck it.”

With much hesitation, you wrapped your fingers around his shaft. Bakugo shuddered, feeling your cold fingers on his warm cock. This only triggered him to further toy with your pussy, causing you to whimper.

The blond noticed the limited movements you’re doing. The latter growled softly, bringing his hands to your clit and began pressing and rubbing it. The actions made you squirmed, accidentally falling forward. Doing so caused you to feel the sticky and slimy sensation on your cheek.

“C’mon, sweetheart, don’t make me wait,” He practically pleaded.

You bit your lip, holding his cock to bring it closer to your mouth. Placing your tongue out slightly, you licked the tip to taste it. Given that it is your first time, you started on by licking his length first. You brought your tongue down his shaft while pressing down his tip.

You suddenly felt a finger going inside you. Your body shivered, bringing goosebumps with the new feeling — it was uncomfortable yet you didn’t mind it. Feeling a bit bold, you decided to at least suck the tip. This is where your jaw ached. You knew he was big, but now you are sucking him, you never knew that he was this damn big.

What the fuck. My mouth already hurts. You tried sucking him deeper, but it really hurt your jaw. Katsuki began to chuckle slightly, realizing what you are attempting.

“I appreciate the eagerness, sweetheart, but take it slow. I need your mouth to scream for me later,” He fondled your ass, grinning at your adorable actions.

You slowly look behind, staring into his eyes with your teary ones. “U-Um…’m sorry…” You shivered, almost letting a tear drop.

Bakugo’s pupils shrunk.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, but I think we need to continue this 69 position another time,” Bakugo suddenly declared.

“H-Huh…what do you—” You were suddenly pulled back by the hips and landed on his face.

You exploded in embarrassment, realizing your bare pussy is on his fucking face. You extended your arms, trying to crawl your way out, but he held your hips tighter. You squirmed under his hold, but you gasped loudly when a wet object touched your folds — his tongue.

“W-Wait…!” You pleaded, but he didn’t budge.

His tongue was one of the wonders of this damn earth. He skillfully licked the outer and inner folds of your pussy — toying and sucking them like tits. You can feel his tongue swirling around them, causing your back to arch. Suddenly, his hands that were around your hips traveled down to your clit.

You gasped loudly, clutching down to his pecs in ecstasy. His hands effortlessly rubbed your clit, stimulating your pussy to juice out more liquid for him to eat, swallow, and devour. The blond never halted his actions, whether he needs to breathe or take a break, he did not stop toying with your pussy till you are at his mercy.

Katsuki groaned, electrifying your pussy in pleasure. He got bolder and deliberately inserted one finger inside your pussy. His eyes rolled back, feeling your soft walls clenching around his fingers. He salivated on how soft your insides felt, his cock harden in delight which almost triggered him to rapture prematurely.

Your body began to lose it’s stance so you collapsed down to his chest. You collapsing This new position exposed your pussy even more, juicing out more liquid to his mouth. The folds became more defined, allowing him to get a better view of your pussy.

“Fuck, doll, your pussy’s enticing,” He licked his lips.

The blond lifted you up by the armpits, placing you directly down his lap. You winced and shiver from exhaustation while this motherfucker grinned cockily. His arms wrapped your waist, pulling you closer. Your tits and his pecs were colliding along with your bare pussy and cock. “You feelin’ aight, sweetheart?” He asked with a grin, holding you closer.

You blushed, looking away from his predatory gaze. The blond only chuckled, grabbing your chin and pulled your face forward while making you face him. “When I ask…” He whispered, pushing your excess hair away from your cheek. “…you answer, doll.”

Your jaw clenched, gulping along the way. “I-I’m feeling a-alright, B-Bakugo-k-kun…”

His mouth lets out a ‘tsk’ sound. “Call me Katsuki. Understand?”

You nodded shyly, “Y-Yes…K-Katsuki…”

He smirked, “Good girl,” He declared, locking lips with yours.

Your mouth gasped, creating an entrance for his tongue to pass by. The dominance he displayed was shown through his tongue. With feral force, he pushed your entire body backward. What’s holding you in place was his huge arms. Your back was leaning heavily onto those arms as he shallowed every sound you make. His mouth flatten around your mouth, toying and completely manipulating every move your tongue does.

Katsuki was kissing you with such passion, you completely forget about the cock in between your bodies. You only mewl loudly when your pussy rubbed against his cock. You felt him smirk against your mouth. He continued kissing you while holding you tightly. Bakugo pulled your lower half closer to his cock, sinking it into the folds of your pussy.

“Keep your eyes on me,” He rasps,

He then guided your hips up and down…up…down…up…down.

Katsuki groaned, face red from excitement and pleasure. He has would grit his teeth and clench his jaw, still guiding your hips by force. His movements gradually went faster. You only gasped loudly as your body bounced from his brutal movements.

Katsuki’s jaw clenches, imagining his cock balls deep inside your exquisite pussy. He would fucking imagine how he would just manhandle you, throwing you around in his house, fucking you in every corner. He imagined every single detail while staring closely at your panting face.

As your body bounces, your hands had no idea where to go. You tried gripping his shoulders, but it ended up bouncing off so your hands traveled down, landing on his knees. You held onto them, allowing your tits to bounce freely. Bakugo only licked his lips at the enthralling sight.

Fucking hell. He imagined your tits bouncing when you ride his cock hard. Bakugo only gripped you tighter, ferociously grinding your hips against his cock.

You can feel an unfamiliar feeling circulating your stomach. “S-Something’s c-coming…!!”

Katsuki’s eyes widen a bit then harden, realizing what’s about to happen. With every sheer force he had left, he managed to stop his movements. His body tingled brutally, with a growl not fucking satisfied the fact that he had to halt his actions. Meanwhile, your eyes watered up, wondering why he had to stop this pleasure.

His jaw clenched, “‘m gonna fuck ya. Ya ready, sweetheart?”

“Y-Yes…p-please…” You pleaded, a tear slipped out of your eye.

Katsuki grabbed a condom from the pocket of his back pants. With one hand, he ripped out the condom with the help of his mouth. He spat out the excess plastic on his mouth and began inserting it around his cock. You can only watch him — his cock was perfectly wrapped around the condom, and it somehow turned you on even more.

He laid you down softly, grabbing a nearby pillow and placing it on your lower back. His calloused hands travelled up your thighs, bringing them closer around his waist. Katsuki bent down, immediately locking lips with you. The sounds of kissing echoed the room, giving the love and attentiion needed to your mouth.

“I’m going to enter, doll. Ya ready for me?” He asked softly, caressing your cheek.

“M-Mhm….” Your mouth couldn’t find the right words anymore; this overwhelming feeling was simply too much, and his cock isn’t even invading your insides yet.

He smirked, aligning his cock into your pussy while locking his lips again with yours. His mouth invaded yours as he pushed his cock inside you a bit. You gasped against the kiss, arching your back to relieve some kind of pain. Katsuki panted, feeling his tip breaking in your virgin walls. He did not hesitate to lock lips again, yanking your hips tighter.

You kept thrashing your arms around, clutching onto his chest, shoulders, hair — anything. He continued to slowly enter his cock inside you till he finally entered you half-way. You let out a loud cry, pulling away from the kiss as you panted heavily. Bakugo looked at you with concern, wiping away all your hair out of your face.

“Talk to me, doll. Are you okay? You want to stop?” He asked, trying his best to halt his actions.

“I-Im fine…i-it just hurts…a-are you all i-inside…?” You asked while tearing up.

Katsuki only chuckled, “I’m only half way inside, sweetheart.”

Your eyes widen, surprised to know that since you are feeling full already. His length was huge and veiny, your walls can even feel how it twitches inside of you. Your head throws back while your legs shake violently.

What minutes felt like forever. Katsuki did not move the slightlest and waited for you to adjust to his size. He kept whispering words of encouragement, telling you what a good girl you are. His mouth made contact with your forehead, kissing you tenderly.

“Y-You can move…” You stuttered, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Are you sure? Because…” He asked, groaning as he felt you clenched around him. “…once I start, I won’t stop.”

“I-It’s okay….I trust you…” You declared.

His body stiffen when he heard those words, pulling his cock away slightly then putting it in slowly. The sensitivity of your body couldn’t take the new feeling, you started to hug Bakugo tightly.

Katsuki positioned his head on your shoulders, nibbling and licking your shoulders to your neck. The slow pace was surprisingly pleasurable to him. He can picture and feel your walls better, almost as if he’s analyzing them.

The pleasure was too much for him, his hand gripped the coffee table beside him and crushed it.

The sound of woods breaking exhilarated something in you. The mere fact that he had to break something because of you just made you moan, causing you to tighten up. Katsuki deliberately bit your shoulder, sensing your walls tighten around him.

The latter began to fasten his movements, gradually feeling the pleasure build up on his body. You only held him tighter, intertwining your fingers on his blond hair. Your mouth panted heavily, the pleasure of his cock moving in and out of you was giving you such a bliss.

You pulled his face away from your shoulder, holding his cheeks. You caressed them with a smile, “I-It’s okay….y-you can go harder…”

“W-What,” His eyes widen.

You continued to smile, “I can take it. You can give it to me,” Your eyes watered in desperation.

Katsuki almost came into the scene in front of him. The moonlight helped define your looks even more. The glow in your orbs illustrated your desperation and need for him. The feel and sight of your sweaty body made him grit his teeth, trying to stop himself from letting his juices out.

Fuck. He couldn’t take it anymore. He straightens his body and grips your hips tighter. With that, he rammed everything in. Your pupils shrunk, choking from the sudden movement.

He threw his head back, face tingling in pleasure. His mouth almost salivated from this ecstasy. Katsuki pulled his cock out to the tip and force his cock inside you again. The latter groaned in delight, eyes twitching as he kept doing this movement.

With the pleasure he’s giving you, your mouth can only leave a scream. Your hands traveled up, trying to find something to grip. Katsuki gripped your hips tighter, holding them up at in angle. His movements increased, rapidly moving his cock in and out.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck..!” He rasps, his hips stuttering with desire.

Katsuki then shoved your knees to your shoulders, folding you in half. He held your ankles then began assaluting your walls again. The new position chocked you in surprised. You can clearly feel and see his cock. Your mouth cried out, feeling his thick and long cock practically persecuting your pussy.

The ferocious force of his thrusts caused your lower back to hurt, but the pleasure overpowered that pain.

With a loud roar, Bakugo flatten his hips to your pelvic to the point it fucking hurts. He held you tightly, his cock releasing all his juices inside the condom.

Your back arched with a scream, your insides can feel how the condom expand. It expanded inside of you so much, you can feel your stomach getting bloated.

Holy shit. You gripped his shoulders so tightly with a scream. You even began punching him on the shoulders softly from the overwhelming pleasure. Thus, you came hard.

“T-Too much..!!” You cried out, shutting your eyes which made more tears fall out.

“F-Fuck…j-just a little more, sweetheart,” He stuttered, still releasing his semen in the condom.

Few seconds has passed, and Bakugo finally pulled out slowly. You choked, your walls feeling empty without his cock. The mix of your wet juices and creamy substances pools your lower half. The blond tied the condom before throwing it to the side and getting another one.

Your eyes widen, seeing him putting on another condom. You stuttered, “A-Again…?”

“Damn right. Chest by the coffee table and ass up, sweetheart. My cock quenches for your wet juices,” He grinned, combing his hair back which revealed his sweaty forehead.

With shaking legs, you crawled down from the sofa; you had a feeling that your aching lower half can’t handle the weight of standing up. Bakugo whistled, seeing how your ass moved. The latter licked his lips, noticing how plump it looks especially if you arch your back like that.

Bakugo stood up as soon as your tits are pressed against his glass coffee table. He smirked, watching your vulnerable state. Seeing how your legs are barely keeping you up just made you extra irresistible.

He then sat down with his ass practically infront of his cock, and he allowed his fingers to travel down your spine, making you shiver from his sudden contact. “Aww, what’s wrong, doll? Can’t handle this?”

You bit your lower lip, not expecting his sudden mocking attitude. You can feel his fingertips lowering, tracing your spine sensually. Then, his calloused hands groped your ass. You gasped, moving forward a bit from his ruthless grip.

You heard him cursed beneath his breath, his fingers held your ass tighter. He watched as his fingers sunk down the soft flesh of your ass. His eyes darkened, getting amused and aroused by this tension.

“You know, sweetheart…” He suddenly spoke. “…how I usually fuck my night stands are all about rough but quick sex.”

Then, he flatten his palm to your back, travelling up, “But for some reason when it comes to you, I want to see how long you’ll hold till I devour you slowly .” His fingers tangled around the tips of your hair.

You gulped then asked, “W-What do you m-mean..??”

Katsuki chuckled, “It means, doll…” He grabbed a handful of your hair and pulled it back, lifting you up from the table. “…I want to ravish you till you break, till your legs shake, till your pussy is leaking, till your mouth is sore.”

Your eyes widen, gasping from the pain of your hair being pulled and from his dirty words. Bakugo used his free hand to suffocate your breath. “The previous fuck was just me being nice. Now, I will fuck you till you’re so damn stupid.”

Before you can even respond, he shoved his entire cock inside your pussy. You screamed, attempting to fall down to the coffee table. Katsuki’s hand around your neck prevented you to do so. He lead down, his mouth whispered lowly, “Look at your right side, doll,” He asked you.

You did and you saw the broken wooden edge of the coffee table. “Ya see that? I broke my precious coffee table because of you.”

Bakugo then leaned his hips backward and slowly shoved his cock back inside you. “Your pussy was that good around my cock. My body yearns for more — you and your tempting pussy will satisfy me.”

You only moaned in respond, feeling his pelvis slowly slamming against your ass. Your eyes rolled back from pleasure, watering your eyes along the way. Katsuki held your neck tighter, his mouth letting out small moans against your ear.

He suddenly lets out a growl, pushing you down to the coffee table. He lifted your ass a bit higher then began shoving his cock faster. His tongue licked his upper lip, his hands used the globes of your ass as a tool to shove you back and forth against his cock.

When you clenched, he roared loudly, “Fuck yeah. Give it to me like that. Holy shit,” He babbled, the sweat travelled down his entire body.

Without pulling out, Katsuki lifted your body on the coffee table and laid your body to the side. He leaned a bit forward and pressed down on the side of your waist. You couldn’t move because of his strength allowed him to properly manhandled you.

This new angle caused you to hit the table multiple times due to the overwhelming esctacy.

The blond chuckled, seeing you struggle under him. “Poor baby can’t even take the pleasure anymore. Am I fucking you too stupid, doll?”

You only squirmed, forcing your head to look at him. His teeth gritted in lust, seeing how your face is flushed with redness, eyes all teared up and drool dripping down your mouth. Not to mention, your body was coated with a mix of your sweat and his. This caused your body to shone under the moonlight, which made you even more exquiste for him.

“P-Please….c-can’t..I-I—” Your mouth can’t even form a proper word from all the moaning you’re producing.

The blond smiled — not a sweetly or lustful way; it’s more on a predatory smile. His eyes displayed all the emotions he had felt at the moment.

He was lusting over the fact you became this stupid after a few rounds. He was lusting by the fact that you knew him better than his team mates. He was lusting over your intelligence and observation on his love for mountain climbing. He was lusting everything about you.

— Katsuki Bakugo needed you.

“C-Can’t what, doll?” He mocked your tone, not removing the smile on his face. “Can’t take it anymore, hm?”

Watching you nod so quickly increased his need for you. “That’s too bad, doll…” He pulled all of his cock out.

“You’re going to fucking take it all,” He rammed everything in, instantly hitting a special spot inside you.

Your body arched, feeling your body being electrified as you let out a silent scream.

He laughed rutherlessly, looking down at your fucked up state. The man continued pulling his entire cock out and shoving it in like a feral animal in heat. His hips barbarously pushed forward, making your skin bounce from the impact. Your breasts began to hurt from this painful thrusts — heck, your entire body is already hurting yet it’s still so fucking pleasureable.

Your stomach began to coil a familiar feeling. That’s when you realized that you’re about to come. This new feeling overstimulated your insides more, you placed a hand on Katsuki’s abs and pleaded, “S-Slow d-down..! I’m c-coming..!”

He grinned and then winked at you before rolling his hips to an angle and collided his hips on your ass. You screamed, feeling his cock hitting another milestone inside you.

“You’re in luck, doll. I am close too,” He uttered with a raspy tone.

After a few more thrusts, he came with a roar as you creamed around his cock.

Both of you panted in exhaustion. His hips still stuttered as he expanded the condom with his creamy substance. After a few seconds, he pulled out, oozing out your white essence.

Your nose sniffles from all the cries. His hands extended, reaching for your cheek. “Are you feeling alright? Do you think you can continue?”

Your eyes widen in shock, “C-Continue…?!?”

Katsuki chuckled at your reaction. “I’m not yet satisfied as you can see,” He smirked, and you noticed his cock hardening again.

“Didn’t I tell you?” He grabbed another condom from his back pocket. “I’ll ravish you till I’m satisfied, and I’m not yet close to satisfaction. Ya go for it? No pressure if you say no.”

With your shaking body, you sat down on the coffee table. You used your mouth to rip the plastic off the condom. Katsuki watched you in shock. You removed the plastic from your mouth and grabbed the condom. Katsuki watched as you pushed the condom into his pecs.

You looked away from his face, embarrassed by what you did. “You said you’ll fuck me till I break,” You blushed.

“I’m not yet broken, Katsuki…”

His face shivered in delight, a blush seen on his face while he bit his lower lip in exhilaration.

“Tits on the glass window. I want my window tainted by your sweat, doll.”

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 𝙣𝙤 𝙛𝙪𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩.

[anakinsdove]

𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 | 𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐤𝐲𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐞𝐫

pairing: anakin skywalker x reader

summary: he’d like to make you cry, but in the process he’ll cry too.

c/w: nsfw, sfw, fluff, choking, dom/sub dynamics, dacryphilia, (listen to pretty when you cry by Lana del rey)

discord - twitter: anakinsdove

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧! ｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ ﾟ。Love you

𝘄/𝗰 - 1,263

Anakin loves you, he loves so fucking much, he really does… there’s not a single doubt in his mind and he hates to pretend that he doesn’t love you, the Jedi code, no attachments, only if they knew, he’ll destroy the galaxy to save you, he’ll kill everyone to save you, he’ll kill himself to save you.

This isn’t how it was supposed to be, you’re under him while he pounds you mercilessly, his hand tightens around your throat making it difficult to breathe, to think, to care, he wants you crying, crying for him and begging for him, but when he looked at you, despite the naughtiness of the act, he only sees love, his wife and reason to exist, his entire universe. Anakin can’t help it when he feels tears welling up in his eyes.

You’re there, eyes closed head rolled back, tightening around his cock as it kisses your cervix painfully delicious, milking him. He’s there on top of you, furrowed eyebrows, mouth hanging open ans his hand grips you hips tightly to keep you in place, a bead of sweat falling from his hairline, fighting the urge to close his eyes as pleasure overtakes him.

You’re not going anywhere, you’re not going to slip away and disappear if he closes his eyes for just a second, he tries to fight his thoughts, he growls and comes down to kiss your cleavage sucking marks into your skin, bruising you the only way he’ll ever will and taking your pebbled nipple into his mouth, his eyes won’t leave yours… he massages your other boob pinching your nipple with his index finger and his thumb, your back arches accidentally and you let out a strangled cry.

Your hands pull at his hair and anakin groans muffled by your skin then takes your wrists and pins them over your head with one hand, switches to your other boob so she can receive the same treatment, he’s so eager to please you, he’s eager to make you love him even when you already would sell your soul to be with him, he just doesn’t get it, he doesn’t get it how can he have something so fucking good in his life… or under him precisely.

“Keep your hands in there will you?” You nod dumbly staring at his frowning expression…. “Ani-” “Take it” he says and you wonder how long is going to take him to cum, his cock pulsates inside you and he already dragged 3 orgasms out of you but it’s not enough, he wants more… your pussy is sore and unbelievably wet he doesn’t ever want to leave.

The sounds of skin slapping get louder as he moves erratically against you, he’s getting tired but he won’t stop, his grip loosens up on your wrist releasing them, you take the chance to dig your nails in his back, he groans, it’s painful, it’s perfect… dragging them slowly scratching him… hurting him, the only way you’ll ever do.

“Tell me you love me” his voice is strangled

Everything is blurry, your tears are blurring your vision “I love you” you say, but it’s not good enough.

“Again”

“I love you”

“A-Again!”

He’s losing it, he’s so close, so close to let the white pleasure take over him completely, the kind of pleasure that makes him see stars, the kind of pleasure that will make him hold you so tight it’ll leave marks. “I love you Anakin! I l-love you so- f-fucking much!” That sends him over the edge, and his eyes roll back into his head and hides his face on the crook of your neck, his mouth hanging open, brows furrowing together, it’s too much for him.. who would have tought that Anakin skywalker, also known as “the hero with no fear” by the rest of the galaxy would completely come undone by someone telling him they love him.

Your 4th orgasm of the night hits you without warning as you were concentrating on the beautiful man on top of you, watching him unravel… your back arches prettily as you let out a cry, of pleasure, of pain, of overstimulation, love, everything… it’s the most beautiful noise anakin has ever heard, you lay there exhausted panting and holding him tightly… closing your eyes in pure bliss when you suddenly feel his still hard cock moving inside you again.

“Anakin!” Your pussy clenched around him making him moan… “One more” he says breathlessly “I need one more” tears well up in your eyes at the overstimulation nodding at him as you cry quietly… you’ll do anything that he ask. “Gonna pound you now” he warns.

It hurts for him too, his cock is too sensitive for this but he wants it, he needs it, the sticky mess between your legs only encourages him to fill you up again as the sticky cum drips from your pussy, his hand slides down to your sensitive yet untouched clit to draw tight little circles.

It’s the best thing you’ve ever felt in your life, you hold so much love for him in your heart that it’s almost impossible to think about it without without crying because loving Anakin Skywalker is overwhelming, it’s raw and addicting like a drug, you’re completely high on him and the best thing is that it’s mutual, it’s everything you could ever wish for, he would do anything that you ask, no questions, it’s scary but devotion is everything and if breaking the Jedi code had consequences you’re disposed to pay them, whatever the price is to keep living this life.

“I love you y/n” Anakin breathes out

“You belong to me” he stops rubbing your puffy clit to bring his fingers to your mouth making you choke on them pressing on your tongue so you can taste yourself “Say it”

“I- i belong to you” it’s unintelligible but he smirks

“You’re mine” he growls

“I’m yours”

“No one else’s”

“No one else’s”

You keep choking on his digits as his tip hits that spongy spot inside you perfectly “it’s okay i got you” he says, his mind recognizes the signs of your body when you’re close, not only to cum but to break… “i want you to cum okay? Want you to milk me my love… t-take what’s yours, I’m yours do you understand?”

The pleasure is unbearable and your body comes undone in his arms, anakin captures your lips and muffles your cries, it’s a clumsy kiss considering he’s coming undone on top of you too, he slides his tongue in your mouth tasting you, you taste so sweet and he’s already drunk in you. His hips stutter as more cum drips from your pussy… he wasn’t intending to breed you tonight but maybe he did… he finally breaks the kiss and you’re both left in silence only heavy breathing can be heard… Anakin rests his head on your chest and sighs.

“You’re everything to me” he says and you play with his hair delicately making his eyes close involuntarily getting lost in a different kind of pleasure

“You’re my adoration Anakin” he grins like a child, pure and only happiness behind it

“D’you think you can tell obi wan you’re not going to this mission?” He says

“I don’t know, do you think master yoda is tall?” his boyish giggle warms your heart…. “Hey…. I’m yours until tomorrow, we’ve still got plenty of time alone together” your fingers tug delicately at the roots of golden curls.

“Tomorrow” he says

“Tomorrow”

masterlist 𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗱𝗼𝘃𝗲 © --- all rights reserved. no reposting/translating/ copying will be tolerated.

dividers - @i92-93

[cheshirebitch]

Alastor x Reader

𝔸𝕞 𝕀 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖 𝕤𝕖𝕔𝕣𝕖𝕥? pt 2

( part 1 here ) ( part 3 here )

 Husk was the first to notice me, since we both thought I was going to die. 

“Oh (Y/n) you son of a bitch!” Angel grabbed me tightly into a hug, squeezing the air out of my lungs. Charlie ran up with Vaggie tailing her.

“How did you do it?” Vaggie and Charlie asked at the same time. Husk looked over and barked out, “How did she do what? Because she saved him and she also somehow saved herself from Boss Man’s wrath.” He took a swig of his drink, eyeing me suspiciously. I knew he was going to pamper me with a million questions later. 

“Well, I just offered Vox information that sounded valuable in a state of dire quick thinking. Sure, he can be smart, but not on the spot. It was simply a trick play of environment and temptation.” After all, isn’t that what I’m good at? 

“What was the info you gave?” Curiosity got the best of Angel. I smiled before pressing a finger to my lips.

“Can’t spill. Even if I wanted to.” A red magic spread across my face where it looked like my mouth was sewed shut. Angel recognized it from when he saw my chains appear before. 

“Oh doll…” Pity. A look of pity is all I received and it made my chest tighten. My eyes scanned quickly over everyone. Everyone had the look of pity. I wiped the magic off before laughing dryly. “I have my ways around it obviously.” I waved them off. I don’t need their pity. I chose this. I just regret it lately. Alastor wasn’t always this closed off, at least not to me. We used to share almost everything. It was us against the world until he left me alone in it, twice.

“So, I take it we pissed off the Vee’s?” Vaggie stated as she looked at me and Charlie. She was holding up her phone that had Velvette’s recent social media post explicitly saying that Hell was about to freeze over.

“Well, it did give us the chance to actually redeem Angel Dust.” 

“Everything comes with a price though, Charlie.” I alluded to what was to come. The battles I can see happening here in the future are enough to worry me on what’s to come. The future is so unsettled on what can happen right now that I can only see small things and not the big picture. I felt a tightness in my chest again. 

“Stand straight darling.” Alastor smoothly spoke behind me as he pushed his hand against the small of my back and drifted up to make my spine straighten. I hate how he only gets on my case about that when Husk literally has a hunch back at this point. Deep breaths (Y/n). Deep breaths.

“Thanks sir.” I said through gritted teeth. Alastor flinched slightly at how I called him sir and how tightly I said it. He looked at me as if asking with his eyes, What is your problem? I couldn’t help but shift my jaw tighter. I squinted my eyes, You’re the problem dick. He clenched his jaw as well and pressed his hand harder into the small of my back, any harder and he would be pushing me. Somehow though, I noticed how his presence made the tightness in my chest go away. Despite the fact we were arguing through our eyes. Charlie turned towards Alastor, dragging our conversation to a quick halt. 

“What should we do in preparation?” She was mostly looking at me and not Alastor which made my once annoyed face into a smug one. They are looking towards me for leadership now. I warned you Al, don’t play with fire. After all, you are the reason I’m down in this mess anyway.

“We need to cover all our bases and make it seem like we aren’t even worried about whatever they are doing, and continue business as normal. Alastor and I will cover the rest. Just watch each other and don’t leave without a partner for a little while.” He seemed to relish in the fact I still sounded like I needed him. I can’t help but feel like he loves that feeling, even if he left me and still won’t tell me anything anymore. 

After spilling plans with Charlie and the team on what our next moves should be, I dismissed myself towards a separate room. I know he can feel the slight anger during our whole interaction because he swiftly follows me. 

“Yes, Alastor?” He smiled wider with his stupid half lidded eyes. But my god do I always melt- stop it. You’re mad, remember? How could he keep playing with your feelings? It's like these seven years took everything we built between each other and ripped it to shreds as if we were never anything. Were we though? 

“Inner battles dear?” I wish he would let that cheesy smile slip once or at least make it look sincere again. 

“You tell me. You’re the one who kicked me out of my own room.” He hummed playfully as I scrunched my face in anger.

“Well, since you’re my pet, it’s also my room.” That cocky motherf-

“We need to talk, Alastor. I want to begin the negotiation of my contract coming up soon.” A slip, his eyes screamed worry but then it was gone. Bingo.

“Renewing it again? We both know you will.” My smile matched his which unnerved him slightly.

“Remind me why again. If I remember correctly, you abandoned me for seven years, won’t talk to me anymore, and have been acting weird lately. You aren’t the Alastor I signed my soul away to.” I seethed. He was holding his jaw so tight I thought he was about to crack his teeth. I leaned closer, almost on my tippy toes to get in his face, his head looked down at me. I saw a glimpse of those eyes he used to give me. The eyes he would stare at me with while I listened to him talk for hours. Then they were replaced with a slight hurt. He opened his mouth, his smile quivering as he thought of the right words.

“There you are! Nifty got stuck in the toilet again, can you help us get her out?” Charlie spoke loudly. Everything I was about to get, all the answers, just…

…gone.

The feeling of overwhelming… EVERYTHING. I wanted to yell at Charlie. 

Why can’t you just wait? Fuck Charlie, you just ruined everything.

Alastor quickly fixed all the vulnerabilities he had and proclaimed, “Well of course! What type of help would I be around here if I didn’t?” I watched him walk away with Charlie, a hurt look that he caught when he glanced back. 

His smile faltered quick enough for me to see it. His eyes glanced at Charlie as if trying to tell me something before he fixed his behavior and carried on as normal with her when she looked back at him. They swiftly walked out as I was left in the entertainment room. 

Alastor, what did you do?

Husk was at the bar cleaning glasses from Angel and Cherri Bomb’s celebration. Swirling around my drink, wishing I didn’t drink as much as I did. I will hand it to Angel and Cherri for having such a persuasive way with drinking. My hair was slightly messy, my normal pantsuit switched out to my comfy clothes, and my eyes looked tired. 

“You finally going to admit you had too much yet?” Husk chuckled out. I chuckled back before I sipped the rest of my drink down quickly. The glass hitting the counter answered Husk instead, and the sound of it sliding down to him as I smiled at him.

“Nope.” I taunted back. He shook his head, pouring more into my cup, and gently sat in front of me. I stared at it for a little while before Husk sighed and piped up, “Penny for your thoughts?” He knew I loved it when he said the sayings I normally do. Made me feel like we really are real friends, despite the situation we are both in. 

“Well, I think I have a theory on what has Alastor… different.” I was careful with my choice of words as Husk eyed me. He knew I was never going to let this new Alastor last long. I mean Husk even was starting to get treated more like a dog rather than someone who helps Alastor with a slight rough friendship. Hard to believe we were all friends once. 

“Continue?” Husk poured himself a matching drink as he watched me intensely. This isn’t something I would bring out loud unless I had some sort of evidence pointing towards it. I shuffled my hands around before stealing a quick sip of my drink.

“I think Alastor made a deal he regrets but can’t talk about.” 

(Part 3...?)

(Lore buildingggg I promise next update will have one question answered. Can you guess which one? As always all characters and world belongs to the respected owners <3 story belongs to me. Tagged who I could! Thank you for loving the first one!)

(Should I add the songs that inspire the writing?)

TAG LIST: @immortal-ries @kat-nee @shybananabagellover @tiedyedghoulette @alyslovesflowers @seven709 @vixie--21 @montis-posts @trashbin-nie @sh3sa1dwhat @for-hearthand-home @funtimefreddynaofficial @jyoongim @eviebuggg

[wonwoonlight]

when he finds out you're sick through the internet

A/N: idol!au. OC is also a celebrity though I don't explicitly say what. tiny teensy angst bc cheol is a worried Boyfriend💔 1.5k words! another random word vomits bc that's the only way i know how to write now lol idk why but everytime i write this kinda fic it's always seungcheol looooooooooooooool. not proofread, but enjoy!

[part 2]

Seungcheol doesn't really get angry.

For the three years you've known him in which you've dated him for two, you've only seen him actually get angry a total number of three times. None of them was directed at you, and all of them are for reasons that you would've exploded upon way before he did.

Seungcheol is patient and rational.

Seungcheol is normally patient and rational.

But he's never normal when it comes to you. And even though the patient bit still stands, nothing about his feelings towards you is ever rational. He's a little too emotional, a little too rash, and a little too worrisome when it comes to your wellbeing.

So when he's relaxing in the practice room during a break with his members, for once not on his phone because he's charging it somewhere on one of the tables, and he hears Seungkwan gasps a little upon his phone, he thinks there's another scandal blowing up upon the industry. But when the younger guy's blown out eyes meet him, colors drained from his face, Seungcheol hates that he knew it could mean one thing: something happened to you.

He shoots up almost immediately, not registering any words that come out of Seungkwan's mouth. His hands shake a little when he unlocks his phone, and his heart drops when he reads the official post from your company's twitter account that states your current condition, that you might need to pause your activities for the time being due to health reasons, apologizes for the worries, and asks for the fans' understanding.

He wants to get angry.

At who, he’s not sure.

At your company, for pushing you even though they know your schedule is practically inhumane? At your manager, for not making sure that you have decent rest in between schedules? At you, because he’s been telling you to fucking stop running towards whatever goal you have in mind but you insist that you know your limit and you’ll know when to stop?

Apparently, no you fucking don’t because else this wouldn’t have happened.

The rest of the members look at him in worry, and Jeonghan silently walks to their manager and the other staff to let them know about the situation at hand, that Seungcheol would probably not be in his best state to continue practice at the moment. The leader would probably insist that they continue anyway, but they’ve practiced for almost five hours already anyway and they could spare an hour or two for the leader when it’s clear that he’s worried beyond measure.

Seungcheol bites his lip as he tries to call you, his concern skyrocketing by the seconds the longer the beeping sound goes, no sign of you picking it up. He tries one more time, but you still don’t answer and he’s about to hurl his phone at the wall when your manager calls him instead, tells him that he sees his name flashing on your phone, informs your whereabouts, and that he should just drop by your place in a few hours if he wants to see you because right now you’re still sleeping in the car and he’s taking you home.

He finds it hard to say anything, a lump growing in his throat until he manages to swallow it down and ask how you’re doing right now.

“She’s… exhausted.” Your manager says quietly. “I know it’s my job to take care of her but… you know her. She didn’t tell me that she’s been having a hard time sleeping at night the past few weeks and it finally took a toll on her.”

It’s hard to suppress his anger, his breath heavier than usual though it’s not too noticeable unless they know Seungcheol. He wants to scream at your manager, but he knows it won’t do anyone any good and it’s really not the time nor the place for that. So he mutters a quiet ‘thank you’ before he hangs up, his members looking at him with a mix of worry and understanding when he looks up at them.

“Go.” Soonyoung says. “We’ve practiced enough today. Take care of your girlfriend and tell us later.”

Seungcheol nods and sprints out of the room, beyond thankful that his members always have his back.

Seungcheol is glaring at you when you wake up, though the way his thumb is still softly caressing your head and the worry in his eyes clearly tell you that his anger is nowhere near his distress. 

You offer him a weak smile, unable to defend yourself because you know what his eyes are scolding you for.

“Sorry?” You whisper and immediately cringe at how dry your throat feels.

He doesn’t say anything as he helps you sit down and hands you your favorite mug. Taking in the moment, you frown at how weak you feel, though you really only have yourself to blame because you genuinely thought you’re okay and you can take it.

You know it’s on you for taking as many schedules as possible, practically everything that your company offers you even when your manager says he doesn’t think it’s physically possible for you to do all that in such a short span.

Thinking about it now, you realize that your manager and the rest of your team also gets the short end of the stick through your decision. Him, your make up team, and your stylists would all need to be with you and your ambition forgets to consider their wellbeing even when you wrongly claim you would be able to handle it.

Guilt starts to eat you inside out, and it grows even larger as you see Seungcheol in front of you–didn’t he say he had practice today?–his face screams distressed and his shoulders tense since God knows when.

“Hey, talk to me.” He says softly when he notices you’ve been spacing out and you’re nibbling on your lip like you would when you’re anxious, taking away your mug before enveloping your hands with his.

You tear up almost immediately, and he moves to sit on the edge of your bed to usher you into his chest, patiently listens to your nonsense as you try to talk through your tears. He gets the gist of it: sorry–manager–company–wellbeing–my team–didn’t think it through–made you worry–overestimated myself–sorry–and the list goes on. He exhales as he hugs you tighter, both understanding and upset at the turns of events.

Being in the same industry, he gets what you’re trying to do, understands that you feel the need to keep on running while you’re able to, relates that you’re doing everything for yourself and your fans. But still, it’s hard not to be upset to know you’re pushing yourself too hard when he’s been telling you there’s no need to run as fast as you are without resting; that you’ll only hurt yourself one way or another and he hates that the one time he needs to be right, it’s this.

You end up laying down against his chest on your bed, hiccups and sniffles filling your bedroom along with a random song he’s humming against your head. You pull away to properly look at him, the first time you’re doing it since you woke up earlier, and his hum stops in question.

“Thank you.” You manage to whisper, your fingers grasping the front of his shirt without even realizing. “For being here when I woke up.”

He shakes his head like he doesn’t understand why you’re thanking him, simply leans down to plant a long, chaste kiss against your forehead before he pulls up your blanket so it’ll cover you properly.

“Just… don’t surprise me like that again, okay?” His breath is warm against your face, pleasantly so, and you nod as you promise him that you’ll take better care of yourself moving forward. 

“Are you staying the night?”

“Yes, I’ll return to the dorm the day after tomorrow. They’ve given me a day off.” You cringe at his words, though thankful that he’s been in the industry long enough to attain that kind of privilege. But still, you feel bad that you’re obstructing his practice and his members just because you’re foolish enough to– “Hey. Stop. I know what you’re thinking. No need to feel bad. I’m actually glad I get to rest with you.”

“But–”

“No buts. The kids can do without me for a day.” He playfully bumps his forehead against yours, his lips hover above yours merely centimeters apart.  He doesn’t meet your lips, though he kisses their corner sweetly and wraps you back into his embrace to the point where there’s no space between you two. “Sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Good night, Cheol.”

“Night, baby.”

“See you in my dream?”

“I’ll see you anywhere you want me to be.”

He hugs you tighter, and you try your best to return the gesture despite the awkward position of your arms. It’s uncomfortable and you’re sure your arms will be sore the next morning.

But you wouldn’t have it any other way. Not when you succumb to sleep and find Seungcheol smiling at you on the other side of your dream, as real as he can be.

cont.

[sinofwriting]

So Many Reasons - Ollie Bearman

Words: 3,343 Summary: She honestly just wants to go to these two races to see her brother so he won’t complain about never seeing her anymore that is it. She has exams, an internship, and a job, she doesn’t have time for any of this. Note(s): Thank you V once again for commissioning the fic! I had a lot of fun writing it and may or may not have spent an hour researching different business degrees and universities and such. Reader is Andrea Kimi Antonelli’s older sister. Age gap of 3 years between her and Ollie. Not good family dynamics between her and Kimi and their father.

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“Andrea, no.” Her voice is firm, perhaps harsh but she doesn’t care. She was tired, hungry, and had to stay up for at least another six hours. Her last red bull in her bag sounded better every second. “C’mon, sorella. It is my first F2 race. You can miss a few classes.” Her jaw clenches and she forces herself to take a deep breath. Thank god this was just a phone call. “No, Andrea. I can’t. I have exams.” “Ask for an extension.” “Andrea,” she snaps. “Does padre know you are asking me this?” His voice is quiet, “no.” She sighs, pushing away her work. “How is your school work going?” “It’s fine.” “And the sim?” “Good.”

It’s quiet between the two siblings.

“It’s been months since we last saw each other. Do you not miss me?” “We saw each other at Christmas.” She reminds him but softens. “Of course I do. But I’m busy. I can’t take a few days away to go to a race, at least not one that’s not in Europe.” She looks at her planner, at the days blocked out with different colors. Purple for exams, blue for classes, yellow for work, green for work and classes, the dreaded orange for when she had both exams and work. It was filled for days, weeks, and months. “I could maybe make it for Imola.” She’d have to talk to her professors, put in her time now for work, but she didn’t have any exams the day after his feature race. “Maybe even Monaco if you can get me a spare pass.” She shouldn’t go to Monaco, not with her final exams to obtain her MBA starting just the day after the race, but she didn’t have any work those days and she could always bring her books with her. “Really?” She smiles at the excitement in his voice. “Really. Are you sure you want your big sister around?” “Yes. It will be nice to have family in the paddock. Someone other than dad.” She hums, eyes widening as they catch the time. “Let me know about the passes for the different races, okay? As soon as you get them I’ll talk to my professors.” “I will.” “Bye Andrea.” “Bye.”

—

“Mr. Garcia?” She knocks on the door frame. “You asked to see me?” He smiles, beckoning her in. “Yes. Please sit.” He gestures at the chairs in front of his desk before quickly typing something. She sits down, smoothing the fabric of her skirt. “I wanted to talk to you about your plans after you get your MBA.” “I’d like to get a travel position or be able to work remotely half of the time. Then I think after ten years of doing that, I’d like to take a bigger account or two.” He hums, looking at her consideringly. “Why the travel position?” “I like traveling, going to different places, and when I went once before with Maria, I liked what she had to do.” “You're also good with languages.” “Yes.” “And the hybrid?” She fidgets a little. “The same reasons really as the travel position and I like the extended hours.” His lips twitch into a smile, “Maria hated remote.” She nods.

“She said you’d be suited for it.” Her leg that had started to bounce stops. He leans forward, “I’d like to keep you on. I know that your internship with Maria ends the first week of May. And that you’re only supposed to continue to work with us until August. But I’d like to offer you the remote position, starting June 20th.” She looks at him with a slight open mouth. “What,” she clears her throat. “What exactly would that look like?” He pushes forward a folder. “All of the details are in there, but there are two important things. There will only be a few days every month that require you in the office. Those days are always made known at least two weeks in advance, some as much as six months.” She nods. “The second is you will have strict deadlines. Miss two within a three month period and you will be on probation, meaning that for a time you will be spending at least eighty hours in office for the month, until your probation is up. Look over all the details and get back to me next week.” “Of course.” Taking the folder, she stares at it before standing. “Thank you, Mr. Garcia.” “Of course, Ms. Antonelli.”

—

“Andrea!” She calls, seeing him looking around. His head turns to look at her, a large grin taking over his face. “Sorella!” He calls, jogging over to her. “You made it.” She rolls her eyes, pushing him away when he tries to give her a hug. “I told you two weeks ago I’d make it to Imola. It’s not my fault, you don’t listen.” She touches her ears before giving him a quick hug. “How are you feeling?” “Good.” She hums, following him as he leads her to what she assumes is Prema’s space for this race.

The good was false that was more than clear to see, if she wasn’t his sister, she’d know just by looking at the F2 races so far. Round four with no podiums? Or pole position. Her brother was surely smarting. She wondered if it had hit him yet that he wasn’t the most talented driver in this series yet.

Entering the Prema garage she smiles when Rene immediately greets her.

“How are you?” “I’m good. Very good. How are you? How is Angelina?” “I am good, I’m sure you saw the Indycar news.” She nods, watching as Andrea starts talking to either a mechanic or an engineer. “I did. It sounds amazing.” “Very amazing. And Angelina, well,” He pauses, turning his head and calling her over.

“Oh, Y/N.” “Angelina.” She greets back, melting into the hug the older woman gives. “How are you doing?” “I’m doing good. And you are well?” “Of course, it is the season.” She smiles at her, knowing all too well how much everyone loved the motorsport season.

“Kimi!” Angelina calls and she has to stop herself from flinching at the use of his nickname. “You did not tell me that your sister was coming.” He shrugs, “She’s coming next race as well.” “You are coming to Monaco?” She shrugs, adjusting her purse. “It’s my last free time before my exams and Andrea asked when I was going to come.” Rene and Angelina share a look but before either can say anything, someone interrupts.

“Angelina, Dino and Antonio are wondering about the next shoot.” The older woman sighs, “And neither of them could get me themselves.” He shoots her a grin, and it’s the sight of his grin that makes her realize that this is Andrea’s teammate. “I volunteered.” Angelina shakes her head, muttering under her breath but leaves the small group.

“Ah, Ollie, this Y/N. Y/N, this is Ollie.” Rene introduces. She shakes his hand. “Nice to meet you.” “You as well. Are you new to the team?” “No.” She laughs, pulling her hand from his. “Just a guest for this race and next.” “Oh.” He looks at Rene questioningly, but the older man is already in conversation with other people. “I could give you a tour, if you’d like.” “You don’t need to do that.” He smiles, giving a small shrug with his shoulders. “I don’t mind.” “Don’t you have race prep?” She can see just behind him, Andrea talking to another two people, their heads all gathered around a tablet. “I finished mine already.” Her lips purse. “At least let me get you a coffee from Ferrari’s hospitality.” Her nose nearly wrinkles at the word coffee, but Ferrari… She wasn’t into motorsports by choice, but she was Italian. She knew the allure of Ferrari and more so now Charles Leclerc than the team itself better than anyone. “So, coffee?” He grins. She sighs but nods. “Just one though.” She doesn’t think she could stomach another one.

“You don’t like coffee do you?” He asks nearly twenty minutes later as she sips at the coffee he got her and she chooses not to think too hard about the money she tried to hand him that he refused. “No.” She laughs. “But you like Ferrari.” “I’m Italian, Ollie. I think I get kicked out of the country, especially this part if I don’t bleed rosso corsa.” “Yet your brother is a Mercedes junior.” She pauses, “My brother?” His eyebrows furrow. “I’m sorry, it’s just Kimi, he has a picture of you. I asked about it once, because I already knew what his girlfriend looked like.” “I didn’t know that.” She wondered when the picture was from. Not from this Christmas, that was for sure. Ollie stares at her for a few seconds, something dancing in his eyes before turning the conversation back around. “It is a bit funny isn’t it? An Italian choosing Mercedes, while an Englishman chooses Ferrari.” “A second Charles Leclerc in the making.” She muses, remembering an article that said it. He flushes red. “I wouldn’t say that.” She shrugs, “Then other people will for you.”

Her phone buzzing makes her look away and she rolls her eyes at the text from Andrea. “I have to go back, Andrea is looking for me. Thank you for the coffee.” He nods, standing with her. “No problem.” He then opens his mouth again, quickly closing it. She raises an eyebrow and he flushes a bit more. “Could I get your number?” “Ah.” She glances down at her phone, another text on the screen. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” “Why not?” She can think of a million reasons. “It’s just not a good idea.” She settles on. “What if I want it as a friend?” She sends him a look and he grins. “I could do friends.” She shakes her head, “I need to go. Thank you again.” “Anytime.”

—

“You're at a race.” “Padre.” She greets, watching the screens as the sprint race goes into its fifth lap. “Andrea asked me to come.” “You don’t like races.” Her lips thin. “No, I don’t. But he wanted to see me, I made time.” “Have you made time for the interview I want scheduled?” “No.” He starts to say her name and she shakes her head. “No, padre. I’m here for Andrea, to see him. Just like I will be for Monaco, that is it. I have no interest in working for you.” “For the family.” “Or that.” He sighs.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she winces at the way Andrea gets overtaken, can already imagine the way he’ll beat himself up over it if he doesn’t regain the position, especially with the way Ollie is in P2, no battle in sight, as he more than comfortably keeps the place.

An arm wraps around her shoulders and she easily goes into her fathers side. “I miss my little girl.” She bites back on the words that want to crawl from her throat. “Love you too.”

—

“So,” she startles at the sound of a voice and the owner of it grins. “You don’t like coffee.” “Hello, Ollie.” “Hi.” He greets back. “You don’t like coffee.” He repeats. “I don’t like coffee.” She can’t help but smile at the way he grins at her responding to him. “What about,” he pauses looking around, before leaning closer and lowering his voice. “Red bull?” “I’m listening.”

She has to stop herself from giggling as Ollie leads her through Ferrari’s garage. She really shouldn’t be here. And not just because she shouldn’t even be at the race.

Stopping in front of a door, she watches as Ollie knocks, sending her a grin as he does.

“Hello?” The voice is a little confused. “Ollie! Come in, come in.” And Ollie grabs her hand, intertwining their fingers as he pulls her into the room with him. “Hi Charles.” Her eyes widen at the name and she quickly schools her expression though neither are looking at her. “What are you doing here?” Ollie grins at the older man. “I wanted to introduce you to someone and raid your fridge.” Charles rolls his eyes. “At least you don’t ask permission anymore.”

The tease makes her stiffen, this was a lot more than she felt she should be seeing or hearing.

“No, I learned.” Ollie laughs and then he’s tugging her closer. “Charles, this is Y/N.” A bit of tension leaves her when he doesn’t say her last name. “Y/N, this is Charles.” “Bonjour.” She greets, keeping her free hand firmly by her side as she wiggles her fingers in Ollie’s hand, but he just brushes his thumb over her knuckles. Charles’ eyes brighten at the greeting. “Bonjour. Est-ce un accent italien que j'entends?” (“Hello. Is that an Italian accent I hear?”) “Oui. Je suis italienne et je vis actuellement en France.” (“Yes. I am Italian currently living in France.) His grin widens. “Oh, très bien. Votre français est bon.” (“Oh, very nice. Your French is good.”) She ducks her head. “Merci.” (“Thank you.”)

“I didn’t know you spoke French.” Ollie says. She gives him a look. It should make his smile falter a little, but it only grows. “An Italian living in France. A bit uncommon, no?” Charles asks, handing her then Ollie a Red Bull. Before grabbing one for himself. “I study there.” “What are you studying?” Ollie asks, “Ki,” he stops himself. “Andrea never said.” Her eyes narrow at the catch, wondering why exactly he did it. “Accounting. And I’m not surprised. If it’s not something racing related, my brother has no interest.” Charles laughs. “I think Lorenzo and you would get along well. Having siblings that live and breath racing while you don’t.” “Maybe.” “Are you close to getting your degree?” “I am actually. My final exams start Monday.” “And you came to the Monaco Grand Prix?” Charles’ eyes are wide. “Yes.” “My goodness.” He looks at Ollie, winking at him. “This one is a keeper.” “Oh,” she says, feeling blood rush to her cheeks and Ollie is turning pink. “We aren’t.” He shrugs, taking a drink of his red bull. “Maybe not yet.” His eyes then fall to their still intertwined fingers and she gives another tug to Ollie’s hand, expecting him now to let go, but he doesn’t. “No, not yet.”

—

“What race are you coming to next?” Her hand tingles at the sound of Ollie’s voice. “I’m not.” “What?” She turns to face him. “Andrea wanted me at the first race of the season, but I couldn’t make it, so I said I’d come to these two.” She doesn’t mention that the want of her coming was because he apparently missed her. She had her doubts about that, especially after this weekend. “You don’t think he’ll ask you to come again?” She looks around, seeing no one nearby, she sighs. “Even if he did, I wouldn’t come. I love my brother, but not on race weekends, not during the season. I’ve seen you more than him.” Ollie’s face that had looked shocked, turns to understanding. “I’m sorry. I had no idea.” She shrugs. “He’s busy.” Ollie looks like he wants to argue, but he doesn’t.

Instead he leans a bit closer, “so, could I get your number now?” She laughs, shaking her head. “No. Still not happening.” “Oh, c’mon. I won today. This is the one thing I want as the Monaco F2 feature race winner.” She shakes her head. “Maybe, if you actually wanted it as a friend. I’d say yes.” “And why can’t we be more than friends?” He’s closer now somehow and she has to swallow around the lump in her throat. “Ollie,” Her name spills from his lips in a gentle sigh as he leans ever closer. “We can’t.” She whispers, hand against his chest, holding him place. “Why? Give me one good reason why.”

He’s guiding her backwards, down the short hallway and into a room that’s thankfully empty, the door shutting behind him.

“One good reason.” “You’re Andrea’s teammate.” “For nine more weekends.” She lets out a shaky breath, watching as his tongue darts out to wet his lips. “I’m busy with school and work.” “You have final exams this week, which you’ll pass. And I’m busy with work as well.” “You're younger than me. I’m twenty-two, you just turned nineteen.” He shrugs, her eyes following the strong line of shoulders with the movement. “I’m an adult. And I like you.” “Ollie.” She breathes. He’s closer than ever before, their lips nearly brushing. “I’m still waiting.” Her eyes scan his face, his words full of confidence, his body too, but he’s flushed and his nervousness is easy to read. And she delivers the reason that has to make him see reason. Because she doesn’t know if he stays this close to her if she can stop herself from kissing him. “Your parents,” his throat bobs. “Would never approve.” He looks at her and she looks back, holding her breath, waiting for him to back away but he doesn’t, and god when does Ollie ever do things she expects. “They don’t need to.” He whispers and then he’s kissing her.

—

“What are you talking about?” “Andrea,” “No.” He stops her, shaking her head. “What do you mean, you are seeing Oliver?” He spits the name out. “Don’t, Andrea.” “NO!” His face is red and she’s reminded of the times when he wanted candy that she had and threw a fit over not getting it instead. “He is, he is,” he shakes his head. “I don’t even know what he is. He is my teammate, he works in motorsports, you hate motorsports.” She keeps quiet, watching as her brother processes the news. “He is younger than you, barely older than me. And you.” He shakes his head again. “Does padre know?” She scoffs, now shaking her head. “Does padre know? That’s all you care about isn’t it. If our father approves or not, if you knows what he thinks, because heaven forbid Kimi,” he flinches at the name. “You think for yourself.” “That is not.” “Don’t.” She cuts him off. “Yes, he knows. Don’t worry he disapproves as well. So, you don’t have to think for yourself again.”

She stares at her younger brother, knowing that this is her fault, but she can’t, she still doesn’t have it in her to deal with it, not today. “I will talk to you sometime, Andrea.”

—

“Your fans are lovely.” Ollie makes a humming sound, half asleep. She pauses her scrolling on twitter, unable to stop herself from liking the picture of Charles’ dog in his own personal little car. “Your fans. Very creative as well. They can’t call me a gold digger, but a fame seeker? Well, if the shoe fits.” “They what?” He sounds so much more awake, it makes her laugh. “It’s just hate, Ollie. I’m an old woman praying on the young. Apparently I’m like Piquet.” “Ew.” And she can picture his nose wrinkling. “You know you aren’t though right?” “An old woman?” She jokes. “A predator.” She softens, turning in his arms, so that they are chest to chest. “I know.” “I mean, really if anything I was.” “You were very insistent.” He flushes. “Only a little.” She nods, pressing a kiss to his jaw. “Only a little.”

“I know we talked about it before, but are you okay with everything?” “Yes. I mean, it hurts that Andrea is still not okay with it but my father’s opinion has not mattered to me in a long time. And no matter what the media and fans were never going to give us peace, so I made my peace with that as well. Besides, your parents are okay with it.” “They love you.” “Our friends are understanding.” “They are.” “And you aren’t about to dedicate any more podiums to me.” He grins at her and dread starts to form in her stomach. “Ollie…” “About that last one.” “Ollie!”

@crashingwavesofeuphoria @poppyflower-22 @racingheartsposts @gemofthenight @peachiicherries @lpab @hiireadstuff @iloveyou3000morgan @boiohboii @bibliosaurous @skepvids @elliegrey2803

[steviebbboi]

Once Upon A Friendship

Pairing: Childhood Bestie!Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Word Count: 8.6k~ guys i obviously have a problem, my fics just keep getting longer and longer and idk how to stop

Rating: Teens and up!

Disclaimer: Well, well, here we are~ submitting this lil ficlet for @witchywithwhiskey's Slasher Summer Writing Challenge using the following prompts: carnival/county fair + forced proximity + "You think that's blood?". & Because I also wanted to engage with our writers community even more cuz <3, -- I'm also submitting this to @the-slumberparty Sundae Bar challenge: Chocolate (secrets will be REVEALED), butter scotch (childhood friends and the feelz is real 🥹), french vanilla (cause forced proximity trope was inevitable for our reader), w/ toppings of chocolate syrup (established relationship), graham crackers (flashback-backstory heavy), and toasted almonds (🫣get ready for some angst).

Summary: Growing up together, you and Steve were inseparable. Where did it all go wrong?

***I don't give any permission for this to be reposted anywhere! Pls do not steal work, plagiarism isn't cuteeee~~~~

Warnings/Triggers: Minors just be mindful that this has mentions of teenage sexual activity but not explicit (all age appropriate) but adding my warning below just in case, explicit language in few pieces of dialogue, ANGST with a happy ending, childhood besties to enemies/strangers, bucky, wanda, and nat are your besties too, steve is a shit communicator, both steve and reader are young and a bit naive, cheesiness ensues, fluff, work is not beta'd so any grammar mistake is my bad!!

*Any comments/reblogs are much appreciated and are so encouraging - more than you know. Pls don't hesitate to interact with me <3

“Argh, Wanda, no– I told you, I hate these things!” You whined despondently while grabbing at her arm.

“Look, you only have to go straight in and see it all the way through! It’s not like there’s any detours.” Wanda replied while giving you a deadpan look. 

You returned the look with your own mocking face, “Wan, you know that isn’t the reason why I hate these things! They grab at you and try to scare you.” You shivered at the thought of one of the maze actors dragging you away somewhere where you couldn’t be found.

“Well…that is their job, y’know?” Wanda said, holding her chin in mock thought. You scoffed and shoved her playfully while she giggled at you. 

“Plus, it’s so hot out! It’s probably so stuffy in there, especially if we go in with a random group.” You complained while attempting to fan yourself while holding your hair up off your neck. This summer was brutal, you couldn’t believe that anyone would be at the carnival fair today. But alas, everyone seems to want to enjoy the last throes of summer. 

“We won’t go in with a random group - Nat said that they’re going to meet up with us before we go in.” Wanda said distractedly while taking out her phone, assuming that she was going to be checking in with Natasha.

Your brain took a second to process what she just said before you froze, your mouth agape, “Wait, ‘th-they’re’? Don’t tell me…”

Wanda stood ramrod still as if lightning just struck. The finger that was twirling her own hair froze its mindless motions as she stared at her phone unblinkingly as she realized her mistake. 

“Argh, Wanda!” You hissed out and covered your face with both of your hands in genuine despair.

Wanda held a guilt-ridden expression, “Oh no, I’m so sorry, chip – I completely forgot that he would be coming-- honest!” 

You released a heavy sigh and closed your eyes to mentally prepare yourself for dealing with the person that you despised the most in this world.

Steve Rogers. The bane of your existence. 

Well, not really (-ish).

He also happened to be a guy that you have been crushing on since you were 10 years old.

Did he know this? No. But even if he did, you would be the last person on Earth that he would pick. How do you know this, do you ask?

You and Steve knew each other since you were basically in diapers. Alongside Bucky and Nat, the four of you grew up together. Although, that didn’t stop you from drawing the short end of the stick when dealing with your pre-pubescent teen years. 

You were a late bloomer– while Nat developed boobs and became a natural flirt at 13 years of age, you were still dealing with the bullies at 13 years old whilst trying to navigate hormones, underdeveloped boobs and pre-teen acne. Bucky quickly developed a barely there mustache and a smirk that made all of the other girls swoon (though, you were convinced that it was really just for Natasha instead). And Steve…well, Steve was like you. Underdeveloped, skinny, no hair to be found on his face. He was as tall as you, and dealt with the bullies way worse off than you ever had to do. 

But that didn’t stop you from falling in love with Steve Rogers. 

Steve was one of your best friends. He always looked after you, whether it were mean girls coming to pick on you again or making sure that you got lunch together. You walked home together, stayed at each other’s houses to study or play video games. You developed a routine where one day in a week, you would order a chocolate chip milkshake while he got a vanilla whip at your local diner, and stayed there for hours just talking about your common interests together. Steve gave you your nickname, ‘chip,’ since he constantly made fun of the fact that you got the same milkshake everytime.

You also remember when the both of you decided to be each other’s first kiss. It was awkward and weirdly coordinated, but it was nice and you trusted each other. You both laughed afterwards and hugged, swearing to each other your friendship was still intact. When your parents would make playful jokes or tease you about when you and Steve were going to be a couple, you blushed and would shy away. 

Where Steve was, you were there too. 

You were basically inseparable as you both knew that you two were the underdogs of the group. Bucky and Nat quickly became the ‘It’ power couple as you all entered into highschool. Steve and you were the glue to your little gang and it just felt so nice to not be alone.

Thankfully, you were able to grow more into yourself by the time that you were 16 years old. Your skin cleared up a bit as you learned to develop a skin care routine, and your boobs started to actually look like there were two of them. Though, you never could quite get past the social isolations (despite the fact that your two best friends were the hottest and the most popular kids at school). 

And while you changed a little bit, Steve…well– Steve changed alot. It was like one day he just woke up and became the guy that he was always meant to be. He started developing a build and grew a beard, had a huge growth spurt and joined the football team. He became strong and capable of anything. But, he was still Steve. He continued fighting for the ‘little guy’ even though he became on par with Bucky and Nat’s social class at school. 

Unfortunately, with Steve’s new social status came the one thing that you couldn’t compete with: Sharon Carter. 

Captain of the cheerleading team, it was almost natural for Steve and her to become a couple. You remembered the day that Steve and you hung out after school for your regular milkshake when he told you quietly that Sharon asked him out to the junior year annual dance. He blushed beautifully as he told his best friend the news, and you made sure to plaster on a fake smile and told him that you were happy for him.

After he took you home, you did your homework, took a shower– and as you got into bed, you cried yourself to sleep feeling utterly alone for the first time in your life. 

Things changed after that. Steve couldn’t walk you home because he was walking Sharon home. He couldn’t play video games with you at yours because he was at Sharon’s. Then, he started canceling your daily milkshake hang outs. 

“I’m sorry, Chip- I have practice to get to.” 

“Sharon mentioned that she needed my help today. I’ll see you next week.”

But next week came and went, and still no Steve.

You quickly realized that Steve was blowing you off when you caught him making out with Sharon at the library in school when he told you the day before that he was going to be at football practice. 

You didn’t mean to catch him at all - but you heard noises and glanced over to see him and Sharon behind the well-known ‘hook up’ section of the library. You squeaked in surprise since they were only half clothed, Steve with his shirt off and Sharon in only her bra. As you stood there shocked, you caught Steve’s widened eyes as they both turned to look at you. Sharon was pretty annoyed that you interrupted them (clocking her narrowed glare), but Steve at least had the decency to look embarrassed as they both put their clothes back on. 

The shock of catching him in the act wasn’t as surprising (as much as it broke your heart, you knew that people in relationships would typically take it to that level fairly quickly). What was surprising was Steve’s reaction. You thought that maybe he would apologize for lying to you, or for blowing you off as many times as he did. But instead, he cleared his throat and his eyes became more stern as he didn’t say a word. He took Sharon’s hand in his and left. 

You remembered standing there for another 5 minutes until you saw another couple glare at you as they took Steve and Sharon’s space. You didn’t even get what you came for– you walked straight home, crying, despondent over losing your best friend. (It was the movie scene where the side character gets discarded and cries silently in the rain - you felt so pathetic).

From that point forward, you didn’t bother texting Steve anymore. And he didn’t ever attempt to text you. He ignored you in the hallways and you didn’t ever look up at him when you would pass each other either. 

Throughout all this, Nat and Bucky were there for you when you came to them about what happened and your waning friendship with Steve. Nat was pissed while Bucky looked confused as to how your friendship could change so quickly. Even though they were still close with Steve too, Nat and Bucky made sure to include you more during their hangouts or offer to take you home, which you felt grateful for, but it didn’t change the fact they had each other. And that you were still alone. 

College was your wake up call to move on from Steve Rogers. You applied to universities that were all out of state, intentionally left your decision last minute so that no one could talk you out of it. Your parents didn’t approve but ultimately respected your decision. 

You remembered graduation where all of your parents made you take a group photo on the bleachers. Nat and Bucky were on the higher step as you and Steve took the lower one. It was awkward as you two barely looked at each other, and fumbled on where to place your hands. It was Bucky who eventually groaned exasperatedly and placed your hand on Steve’s back while he placed his around your waist. 

You recall the moment that really ended things between you and Steve, which was a party at one of Bucky's friends’ places. Nat and Bucky invited you to come in order to have your ‘last high school experience’ (whatever that meant). Unbeknownst to them, you were leaving the next day for settling in your new university halfway across the world. 

The party was blasting obnoxious EDM and the house was littered with red solo cups and other kids yelling at each other as they played beer pong. Feeling so displaced, you took a beer and headed upstairs to look for an empty room. 

Just your luck, you would enter the one that had Sharon (again, half-naked) on top of Steve (who was again, also shirtless) on the bed. You obviously interrupted them in the middle of something again. As they both turned to look at you, Sharon groaned your name in annoyance with an ‘ugh, seriously?!” and for you to ‘‘get out.’’ You couldn’t help but ignore her as you looked at Steve once more. 

He had this same look of annoyance in his eyes as he sat up on the bed that was so unfamiliar. You’ve never seen Steve look at you like that before– as if you were a nuisance or some sort of insignificant thing. It was the same look that he gave you at the library. He became the bully that he used to protect you from when you were kids. 

Something took over you in that moment where you felt your already fragile heart just shatter into several pieces. Though, somehow, all traces of self-pity and loneliness left your body as you coldly looked over at this stranger that you realized you maybe never really knew in the first place. In that moment, you tuned out Sharon’s nasty words, and only looked at Steve with an intentional, apathetic glint in your eyes. 

The words just slipped out before you could even process them:

“I wish that I had never met you.” 

You could mutedly hear Sharon scoff and give some sort of insult (you couldn’t really remember honestly) since the only thing that you waited for, and wanted to notice, was Steve’s reaction. You watched as the traces of annoyance in his eyes glazed out and changed into something that looked akin to shock, panic and something else that you couldn’t place. 

Satisfied with finally being able to impact him for once, and to let him know how much you hated him in that moment, you turned to leave determinedly– you were pretty sure that you heard him yell out your name before you left but you slammed the door hard, ran down the stairs, and out of the house until you made the trek home. 

You told yourself that night, as angry tears fell out onto your pillow in your childhood bedroom, that you would move on from Steve Rogers. That you deserved more and that you were going to make space for yourself in your own way. 

As you settled into your new apartment, met Wanda as your new roommate (and now your certified best friend), you received a call from Nat and a text from Bucky.

Natasha was, naturally, upset at you for leaving without telling her. She made you promise to never do that again and to come to her more when you needed her. You felt one piece of your heart pull together again at how sincere and emotional Nat was on the phone. You realized that you may have also neglected your best friend when you and Steve were close, and promised her on the phone to never let that happen again. 

Bucky sent a text saying, “Dude, what the fuck,” which is pretty polite for him, considering the context. You apologized and explained to him your desire to build your own life and while he was still mad at you, he expressed his understanding and respect for your decision.

Bucky and your relationship was never very close like Steve’s and his was, but he always looked after you (in his own way). You felt protected by Bucky in ways that you couldn’t with anyone else, and you knew that he would always ultimately support you as he would his younger sister. He told you to text him if anyone were to bother you, and you promised that you would check in with him daily.

You did receive one text from Steve: “I’m sorry for everything, chip.” That was all he wrote. 

You glared at your phone and deleted his text, so overwhelmed with your anger and determination to remove Steve Rogers from your life. It seemed as if your lack of response was enough for him to get the message that you were done since he didn’t text you since that day. 

At Uni, you really grew and developed into yourself. You became involved in college campus life, got a job as a TA, had a boyfriend or two. You dated one guy for six months before calling it off since you were better off as friends, and any other flings that you’ve had were short-lived or just didn’t land well enough to be in a committed relationship. 

But you learned alot from these relationships and ultimately felt grateful to connect with people as you proved to yourself that you were something without the people back home. That you were more than the girl who loved Steve Rogers. You were proud of yourself for that.

Flashforward to now, you’ve just finished your freshman year of college. You’re visiting home for the summer to visit your parents, and to visit Bucky and Natasha, both of them ultimately decided to attend one of the local colleges. You kept your promise with them and stayed close, and even brought Wanda back with you– since introducing her to them last week, she became fast friends with your childhood friends. 

You haven’t really spoken to Steve since that last stint in high school. Considering that your two best friends were still close with him too, and your families were all close, you couldn’t exactly avoid him. But you never talked about what happened in highschool. At the chance that you would see and interact with each other, you would greet him politely even though there was still some animosity there. 

Steve wasn’t outwardly mean or rude, and he would try to talk with you more than once before in the past year, but you were evasive everytime in avoiding anything deeper than a “hello, how are you doing?.” You would stuff down the guilt from his disappointed and hurt expressions as you actively avoided him. You brushed off your friends who were begging you to try to repair your friendship with Steve– and just go back to school, blissfully living in ignorance. 

But now, as you stood in line awkwardly waiting for the Summer Queens County Fair’s haunted corn maze with Steve (your friends suddenly “needing” to get some drinks or go to the bathroom while Steve and you waited for tickets in line), you felt like you wanted to pass away from the how thick the tension filled the air.

You could practically feel Steve’s tense energy in attempting to engage you in conversation. And damn him, he looked good. His muscles looked even fuller as they were accentuated by a basic white tee, and his beard- argh, his beard- only made his features even more rugged and handsome. 

You hated the way that he could still make your heart flutter, even after all this time had passed. 

“So,” you almost jumped when he finally broke the silence. “How have you been, chip?” 

You felt yourself take a minute to defrost your stiff and frozen body as you turned to look at him. You met his curious gaze and said blatantly, “I’ve been okay.”

Silence filled the space again as your bluntness seemed to envelop the air around you. “Uh, that’s good. Are you…–how are you finding your classes?”

You looked back at him with narrowed eyes and just felt a rush of frustration move through you seeing his eager expression, that puppy dog look that always made you feel empathy for him suddenly made you feel annoyed and impassive.

“We don’t have to do this, Steve.” You said to him bluntly while crossing your arms defensively.

Steve’s own eyes narrowed in confusion and he swallowed heavily. He seemed to be thrown off by your comment. “I’m just trying to get to know you again, chip–”

“Well, I don’t want you to get to know me, Steve, okay?!” You interrupted him as your voice raised before lowering in the latter half. 

Looking up at him, you met his eyes for the third time that night, but what you didn’t expect to see was that he looked so crestfallen and sad. 

The guilt that has built up over the past few years swooped in and rested heavily in your chest. Instantly regretting your outburst, you sighed, “Look, I just think that we may be better off just not talking to each other, okay. We don’t have to try to be friends again just because our friends forced us to finally interact with each other since highschool.”

Steve winced at your cutting words, and he still had this sadness on his face as he looked down at his feet before he said quietly, “I’m not trying to…–I just…it’s been a long time, chip. The last time that I saw you, with Sharon and with what you said, I–,” you both winced in that quick rehash of the incident. Steve finished with a weary sigh, “Honestly, I just miss you.” 

You frowned when listening to his words as the sincerity behind it felt displaced, and out of nowhere. You also couldn't help but feel concerned as you really looked at him. Outwardly, Steve looked as put together as he usually did. But people weren’t used to seeing him the way that you had growing up.

Looking closer, his eyes weren’t as bright as they could be, and they looked tired. Slight dark circles were forming underneath his dim eyes, shading his fully bearded face that was just a tad unkempt. He looked like he hadn’t been sleeping well and his shoulders had a hunch to them that could be perceived as calmness when you knew that it more resembled a tiredness or despondence. 

Your frown was still on your face as you elected to ignore his declaration of missing you and simply asked, “Are you okay, Stevie?”

At your question, Steve noticeably straightened up and his mouth parted in surprise that reflected in his eyes. You both stood there for a moment as you stared at him with concern and him looking at you with…mirth? With your lips pursed, you glanced at him with narrowed eyes at seeing the humor alight in his eyes, brightening them a bit more towards its familiar shade of cerulean blue.

“Okay, what just happened?” You asked suspiciously. 

Steve’s eyes brightened more and the grin that was growing on his face grew even larger into a soft smile. “You called me Stevie.” 

You lurched back a bit as you replayed the moment briefly in your head and stuttered a bit at the realization. You hadn’t meant to call him that at all, but when you saw that sad look on his face and the signs of it on his body, you couldn’t help but recall moments similar to when you were just kids, walking home, checking in with each other during similar moments, but experiencing these things together. 

“Uh- I– I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to call you–,” You blushed and stuttered as you tried and failed at attempting to save your slip. 

“No,” Steve interrupted you, his smile wilting a little bit. “Please, don’t apologize for that. I,– I miss us when we were just kids. Nobody calls me that anymore, well, beyond Nat and Buck, of course.” He said sheepishly while running his hand through his hair, disheveling it even more into a natural, annoyingly perfect quaff. 

You gave him an assented hum and cleared your throat as you looked back down at your feet, giving the flattened grass an invisible kick. You both were quiet again but the awkward animosity wasn’t as present as it was before. You both shifted on your feet a bit more before glancing up at each other from time to time, barely missing each others’ eyes before finally, your gazes met each other at the right time. 

He was looking at you differently– this time with that good-natured smile and levity in his eyes that glinted at you with that same ‘something else’ that you couldn’t quite put a finger on a year ago. 

His small grin was reluctantly infectious as you felt your lips start to curve upwards as a response.

“Whatever.” You rolled your eyes trying to stuff down your smile as you replied with a cheap response. Memories surfaced again of your witty banter that you used to share that always started with Steve’s little smile, and you couldn’t help but let out a small laugh as you opened them again to meet his own humorous gaze.

Steve’s soft smile grew into a teasing smirk, “That’s good, at least I got a smile and a laugh from you before you start to avoid me again.” 

You only gave him an incredulous look at how blatantly out of pocket that sounded before letting out a sudden, full belly-laugh with him. You couldn’t believe that you were laughing again with Steve Rogers. 

You felt this feeling again too - it wasn’t heartbreak, but rather, the shattered pieces that were shoddily put together again throughout the years felt solidified just a little bit more.

The laughs died down and the both of you remained standing there with genuine grins on your face. Before you lost your nerve, you felt a sudden urge to have him listen to you, to hear you, and to understand what really happened between you two. 

“Steve–,”

“Chip, I–”

You both looked at each other and laughed for a moment before he indicated for you to go first. His grin looked so boyish and sincere, you couldn’t help but smile back at him as you two were just high school kids in Brooklyn again. Comfortable and authentic, together. 

About to open your mouth, you get interrupted again by the person that you least expected to see on your visit back home.

“Chip? Steve? Oh my gosh, is that you two? Wow, chip! Look at you, you certainly grew into yourself!” Sharon’s pitched voice pierced the mutual bubble that was starting to form between you and Steve and flattened its existence.

You gave her a quick glance over and were internally surprised to see that she seemed to be exactly the same. Her eyeliner framed her hazel brown eyes that were widened in what looked like surprise, and with a hint of condescension (cause why wouldn’t she look down upon you with all of that pity). Her blonde hair resting softly down her back as she stood there in her floral skirt, her friends right behind her glancing over at you and Steve disinterestedly. 

You stood there and gave her a fake shoddy grin as you greeted her back politely. “Sharon, wow, hi.” Your monotonous tone couldn’t be covered up in time before the words left your mouth.

She only gave you a dull hum before she glanced over at Steve with a smirk. “Hi Steve, how are you?” 

The curious part of you couldn’t help but try to catch Steve’s reaction to her presence. You had no idea where things left with them since you left that day, and you never bothered to ask your friends either. Assessing him, he was looking at her with a nonchalant expression, and you were unsure of how deliberate his reaction was as he made small talk with her. 

Trying to gauge his expression, there wasn’t any sadness present in his eyes anymore, nor was there any mirth. But, you did notice a stiffness there. The corner of his eyes crinkled a little too harshly as he forced a polite smile onto his face. You could see his jaw clench as Sharon droned on about her college experience.

Time couldn’t erase the fact that you did know Steve Rogers for some time– and when he was uncomfortable, he wasn't able to hide it at all. 

The theatrical tunes of the fair and the echoes of people screaming in mirth and laughter suddenly came back in as you hear the booth employee for the haunted corn maze (this line was way too long for what it was worth) call for you and Steve to step on up. 

You couldn’t stifle the quiet mutter under your breath, “thank god” as a wave of relief flooded through your body at being able to escape the dangers that you just experienced as you turned around to follow the employee to the front of the maze. You didn’t even say bye to Sharon, and you didn’t even realize that your friends hadn’t returned from their supposed tasks. 

Your mutter may have been louder than you thought as you heard a snort from beside you. Glancing over, Steve was looking down at you with a returned humor that you just rolled your eyes at him. “Well, it’s not like you wanted to be there anymore than I did. Your tells are still exactly the same, Stevie.” You said derisively. 

Ignoring the harshness of your tone, Steve only smiled more as you slipped boundaries again. You only caught it when you saw that he was simply just staring at you in response. Only then did you catch it and you rolled your eyes again with a small smile. His smile grew more as he intentionally leaned and walked into your path as you both followed the employee. You stumbled to your left at his deliberate clumsiness and shoved him away from you playfully before you could stop yourself. 

You’re teasing around with Steve Rogers. And reluctantly admitting, you weren’t unhappy about it. 

You both continued to shove each other away as Steve kept teasing you until you reached the front of the maze. The employee turned to face you before you went inside to explain the rules and you were listening attentively until you heard a throat clear from behind you. Looking back, you see that it's Sharon and her friends. 

Trying to, but unsuccessfully, cover your agape mouth at seeing that they were actually following behind you this entire time, you clenched your jaw with annoyance and turned to face forward again.

The despair that you felt come in earlier from Steve’s arrival has returned tenfold with Sharon’s presence. Paired with the fact that you’re being forced to have entered a haunted corn maze, your hackles rise angrily at the fact that you’re being forced into a situation with both Steve and Sharon that you didn’t even wanna be a witness to, AGAIN.

Feeling suddenly so tired and exhausted, you let out a despondent sigh, “Okay, are we doing this or what?” The employee merely raised their eyebrows before motioning you to move forward in the maze.

You could feel Steve’s eyes following you as he tried to walk next to you, but you could hear Sharon trying to engage with him again. You could hear him respond but you didn't really care anymore. You didn't mean to be rude, but you were feeling resentful of all of it again. Especially hearing Sharon’s whiny voice trying to speak with Steve right directly behind you, you once again felt utterly alone. 

Torches and string lights lit up the corn maze. Although, the night sky was void of any lights or stars, which made the maze really feel like a maze– isolated and desolate. You could hear Sharon’s two friends in the back muttering that they were scared as they let out occasional, little screams at any sounds that could be heard (even if it was just the wind grazing the corn harshly, or honestly, the sounds of their own footsteps, ha.) 

Feeling so bored and wanting to leave, you turned around to just go back when you saw Sharon holding on to Steve’s arm with a worried look on her face. 

You were passing by some rows of hay with a sticky red substance spilling all over it when you heard Sharon’s small screech.

“Omg, you think that’s blood?,” She said with a genuinely worried tone. 

You wanted to laugh so bad as you looked over at Steve, just in time to see the rolling of his eyes and heavy sigh. She seemed to be grasping onto him with an even tighter grip and although Steve wasn’t shaking her off, he did have that uncomfortable look on his face again.

His second aggravated sigh and furrowed brows gave away his annoyance as he attempted to subtly create some space between his body and her touch. You turned forward again as the laughter erupted in your throat, but you managed to stifle it in time with a pursed smile on your face at hearing Sharon’s affronted noise in response. 

You could read a mean girl from far away at this point – Sharon’s attitude wasn’t lost on you nor was her sudden closeness with Steve. But it didn’t bother you as much as you thought it would, even if you found out that they were still together after high school. Honestly, a part of you felt satisfied that Steve, the one responsible for the existing tension between you in the first place, was finally just as uncomfortable as you were. To see Sharon offended and to see Steve’s discomfort made you feel a sense of justice and a resurged faith in good ol’ karma. 

That pride you felt in being able to find your own comfort in your healing made you feel giddy. You weren’t in any sense of a relationship that held any drama. It felt good to know that the forced proximity didn’t just affect you at this moment. Yeah, sucks to suck, doesn’t it?

You flinched a few times as you continued walking throughout the maze with some actors coming out to scare you, but as you saw the glaring red Exit sign, you couldn’t wait to get outta there. Speed walking at this point, you were determined to walk out of this maze with your gaze forward, determined to not look back at the two sore points of the past few years. 

You made it to the exit and sighed in relief. You were already a few paces away when you heard Steve call for you.

“Wait, chip! –” 

The body is a wonder - your mind was so fixated on leaving but when you heard him call out for you, your mind flashed to the both of you waiting in line, flashed to the sounds of your laughter mixing together, the feeling of him leaning into you. You didn’t want to but, suddenly, your feet just stopped in place and you turned around to look over at him. Hope swelled in your chest…

And there was Steve. And Sharon. Kissing. 

You inhaled deeply at the sight, not expecting to have caught them, yet again, mid-kiss. The tension knotting in your stomach finally exploded, and your stomach dropped making your feet feel so heavy. It was like watching a car crash happening in front of you - you felt fixated and couldn’t move, turn away. The hope that was swelling in your chest evaporated like mist, and you felt so foolish. The pieces that were somehow lodged together again from your earlier interaction broke into pieces, and felt grinded into dust. The wind took its opportune moment to breeze through your hair, and it almost felt like it intentionally took your longing for your best friend again with it.

Steve gripped Sharon’s arms harshly, shoving her away from him with an angry expression on his face. “Sharon, what the hell?!” He exclaimed. Turning away from Sharon and her pouted expression, his widened eyes frantically found yours. 

Even a few feet away, the panic that you saw in them was familiar. You remember seeing it exactly when you had severed the existing relationship between you and Steve that night. 

You couldn’t help your reactiveness– you were feeling so triggered by what you were witnessing. Your vision started to get blurry as you felt that familiar burning sensation building in your eyes. The panic in Steve’s eyes intensified at the sight, and when he made a move to step forward, your feet instinctively took one step back. 

Completing the reenacted memory, you felt your mouth press into a hardened line as you met his gaze with a ferocious determination. Familiar numbness rose up and a lethargic apathy just washed over you. You bravely met his gaze and although the words weren’t being said, you and Steve both heard the words.

“I wish that I had never met you.” 

The truth was, the anger and rage that you were feeling (and let’s be honest, the resentment that you suppressed and just gaslit yourself into reframing it as healing) was just the surface. Underneath, a deep and hollow feeling of just being unwanted and undesirable bubbled up with a vengeance. You didn’t wanna hear it, but you were tired, were abandoned by your friend(s), and energy depleted from tonight’s event. You knew you couldn’t be there any longer. 

Your feet continued to step back slowly as you heard Steve asking for you to please wait - but then Sharon took his arm again needily and you took that as your opportunity to bolt. 

You dropped your teary-eyed gaze away from his almost desperate looking one, mumbled out a quick excuse and left with a brisk nod. It was just like when you were 17 again, you heard Steve call out your name again but you don’t stop to look. You didn’t see him staring after you so longingly and looking so dejected, nor did you see him blatantly remove his arm from Sharon’s grip again while they hushed out intense looking whispers at each other. 

The parking lot of the carnival was in sight as you wiped away the bitter tears from your face. You knew that leaving was immature of you, and you knew that you would disappoint your friends. You knew that you were breaking your promises to Nat and Bucky (and now Wanda) about talking with them before making any impulsive decisions.

You reached your old pick-up and opened the door harshly. The tears wouldn’t stop as you stood outside the car. Almost child-like, your hands curled into fists as you brought them to your eyes and just sobbed. 

For a moment there, you thought that maybe…maybe you could start again. Maybe you and Steve could rekindle your friendship, or at least, talk things through. You thought that maybe you’d be able to continue laughing again. You shook your head, feeling so much pity for yourself. 

Heaving out another wilted sigh, you closed your eyes and tilted your head back to allow the fresh winded air to dry your tears upon your chilled face. You needed time to think, and you knew exactly where you wanted to go, and what you needed. 

The sweetness of the chocolate shavings melted in your mouth, leaving only the sugary taste behind. You took another sip of your milkshake and made sure to swipe some whipped cream from the top for an extra sweet finish. 

The diner was mostly empty, spare a truck driver or two sitting by the bar tops. You mindlessly stir your milkshake some more with the plastic straw and couldn’t help but relieve another sigh from your body. You came to the diner for nostalgia’s sake, and a chocolate chip milkshake was always a huge dopamine boost for whenever you were feeling sad. 

But this time, getting your favorite milkshake at the diner left more of a sour taste in your mouth as each sip just reminded you of Steve.

You decided that you would try to bring yourself to feeling better before you left for home, which meant drinking your milkshake, making small talk with Betty (the sweet, old waitress who has been giving you milkshakes for free since you were a teenager), and settling the grievances that you could actually fix. 

You instantly texted Wanda to let you know that you had left the carnival, and that you hoped that she was having fun going to the bathroom for the past hour. Instantly receiving an apologetic text back for ditching you with Steve, you figured it was as good a time as any to also let her know that she would have to ride back with Bucky and Nat (given the fact that you also had basically left her there too). She sent you the mouth wide open face emoji, and you knew that you both could call it even.

Nat texted you a selfie of her and Bucky pouting remorsefully. It was enough to make you crack a grin (Bucky looked so ridiculous). You demurely sent them back a picture of your middle finger (because you were the bigger person of course), which only had her text back an apology with an IOU. You knew that they were only trying to be your friends, but at least you would have this photo as blackmail for future purposes. 

You started to play a game on your phone mindlessly when you heard the door ring, indicating a new customer walking in. Not even looking up, you proceeded to win the next level of the game until someone set another chocolate chip milkshake down on your table. 

“Oh, it’s okay, Bet, I didn’t want–,” you started to say as you looked up. But it wasn’t Betty who dropped off the milkshake. 

It was Steve. 

Your eyes widened a bit in just processing that he was actually there, standing in front of you. He actually came to find you? The scene from earlier was so crystal clear and akin to your high school memory, you were convinced that that would be it. As you sat there staring doe-eyed at Steve, the scene had felt like it glitched as it was now playing out differently than you had expected.

Heat rose to your cheeks as your gaze focused on Steve’s determined facial expression. You turned forward to face your new milkshake and deliberately avoided his narrowed gaze. You could feel him still staring at you and you shifted uncomfortably. He didn’t say anything but moved to sit across from you in the booth, heaving out a heavy sigh of his own as he did too.

You kept your eyes down as the both of you let the silence permeate the air around you. A few minutes passed before you were about to officially just get up and leave when Steve broke the silence first. 

“I swear,” he turned to look over at you with an exasperated gaze. “I had no idea that she was going to be there.”

A disbelieving scoff came out of your mouth and you rolled your eyes blatantly. “Steve stop, again, you don’t have to do this – “ 

“Stop saying that, chip!” His voice was filled with a sternness that you couldn’t ignore. Your eyes widened at him as he continued, “I’m here because I want to be, okay? Not cause Bucky, or Nat, or your family told me to or forced me to. I found you - and I asked you to wait earlier and you ran away, again!”

A glare scrunched up your face as your fury rose up at the audacity of his scolding, “Excuse me?! I didn’t want to wait because I didn’t want to watch you and Sharon sucking each other’s faces off, again!” You flourished your mocking with a tight expression and only caused Steve to oppose you even more.

“She was the one who kissed me – I didn’t want to be there with her either. I haven’t even seen or spoken to Sharon since you left!” Steve blurted out.

Your heart felt like it was racing in your chest and your mind blanked at hearing Steve’s reveal as you tried to stutter out a response. “What– I don’t–,” words were hard. You thought that they were together for some time during the year in college. With the way that Sharon was acting, you assumed that they were still interacting with each other, somehow, at the very least.

Steve took advantage of your surprised silence and continued, “God, chip. After what happened at the party, I just…I realized then how much I hurt you.” He looked at you with such remorse as you just continued staring at him. The hardness that was built over the years was still surrounding you, trying to protect you, even if Steve was professing his regret. 

“When I heard you say that you regretted having ever met me,” you both flinched at the words as he said them, “and this look in your eyes…it looked like you really despised me and I felt it and I just–,” Steve cut himself off with another flinch and pinched his eyes shut. 

“I let it get to my head. When I made the team and when people started to pay attention to me, when those bullies stopped bothering me and actually invited me to things, I lost sight of what really mattered to me the most and that was you. I know that that is a stupid excuse, and that I was hurting you, even way before what happened at the party and I was dumb, immature, and just stupid, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, chip.” He spewed out the words faster than he could coherently process them but the sincerity could be heard in his rushed tone. 

His downcast, teary eyed gaze met yours and you felt your breath hitch slightly at the sight. Growing up with Steve, he was always the formidable one. He was the one who reached out first to hold your hand if you cried. The one to maintain composure and calmness while you were the one who was more nervous and panicked. To see Steve so out of breath, wistful, and low-spirited was worrisome and unfamiliar to you. 

You were at a loss for words as you tried your best to process his words. Steve bit his lip nervously as he tried to gauge your reaction. When you only met him with more silence, the despondent look in his face only grew, “Please. I completely understand if you still don’t want to be friends, and after this, I’ll completely leave you alone. But honestly, chip, I can’t leave knowing that you still hate me. I- I know that’s selfish, but I can’t.” 

You moved your stare to blankly look at your melting milkshake, the whipped cream completely evaporated into the cold drink. 

“You hurt me.” You blurted out.

Steve almost looked startled at hearing your voice after such a lingering silence. “I know, and I’m so sorry–.”

“No, Steve,” You interrupted him indignantly, “you hurt me.” The tears blurred your unseeing gaze again as you focused enough to meet his own. The whimper dislodged in your throat as you could no longer hide the suppressed pain.

Just like that, the both of you were 15 years old again. You were crying after being teased by other kids or bullied for your flaws, and Steve was there trying to console you. The impact of these experiences were a shared burden impenetrable to your friendship together.

The difference now is that, instead of your tears being spurred by the mean-spirited popular kids, Steve was the one who committed the offense, a betrayal that cut so deep and you were the only one to shoulder the burden. 

Steve swallowed heavily as he blinked furiously to hold his own tears at bay. He seemed to understand what you were saying as his eyes glanced over the different features of your face. He knew all of your vulnerabilities and ignored, neglected his care of you by treating you the way that others had growing up. He abandoned you when you needed him the most, and he had to understand the severity of that in the same way that you tried to tell him then as you were now. 

Steve exhaled deeply as he looked over at you. His still despondent eyes held a layer of genuine understanding as he apologized despairingly, “I’m so sorry.” 

You sniffled as tears fell freely onto your cheeks, your puffy eyes and pained expression causing Steve to flinch in his own despondence. You brought a closed fist to your face again to wipe the tears and winced as you suddenly felt strong, sturdy arms envelop you in a soft embrace.

The tears only came down stronger at the feeling of hugging your best friend. Not feeling so alone anymore, your heart cried out with you in relief as you turned and tucked your face into his chest, your arms moved to clutch his back. Once you did, his embrace only became tighter as he squeezed you to him closer. 

You both sat there for a while, just hugging, soft sobs falling from your lips while Steve continued to repeat quiet, but earnest, apologies. After a year of animosity, sadness, and unresolved hurt, the both of you silently agreed to let this moment just be. 

Eventually, your tears stopped running so harshly and you sniffled back your snot-filled nose very charmingly as you reluctantly pulled away from his warmth. Steve still kept one muscular arm around your shoulder as you looked up at him hesitantly.

“Stevie?” You began to ask. Steve responded with a soft hum for you to continue while rubbing your shoulder soothingly. It didn’t even seem like he noticed that he was doing it.

Before you could lose your nerve, you meekly asked, “Why did you start pulling away from me when you started dating Sharon?” 

Steve’s hand froze and he stilled as if he were preparing for the worst. He sighed while closing his eyes for a moment. Taking a breath, he opened them back up to look at you with a resolved and honest gaze.

“When I told you that Sharon asked me to the prom, I thought that would’ve been the moment that you told me that you liked me the same way that I liked you.” 

Your heart thundered so loudly in your chest as you gave him a shocked, glazed over expression. 

He liked you.

“But then you smiled at me, and you said that you were happy for me, and, I guess a part of me felt like I was foolish to have ever thought that you would actually like me more than a friend. I continued things with Sharon because I felt like I had to get over you.” He said regretfully. 

You blinked up at him a few times before you asked dumbly, “And that’s why you were pulling away? The lies and the fake excuses, or why you ignored me when you were with Sharon?” 

Steve flinched with each question as he confessed, “Yes. It was really immature of me to ignore you. If I could go back and do it over, I would in a heartbeat.” An intentional look sat on his face as he expressed his remorse. 

You released another speechless hum in return, still processing that Steve liked you. In a spur of your own adrenaline running through your body, you suddenly disclosed, “Steve, I did like you the way that you liked me.”

Steve stilled and inhaled sharply, “...W-what do you mean?” 

Mustering up your own fostered courage, you exhaled deeply and said, “I liked you too. But I was your best friend. I thought that you were the one who didn’t like me, so I thought that if I supported you in dating Sharon, I wouldn’t lose you completely.” You felt your face scrunch in confusion as how ridiculously unnecessary this entire separation was.

He only looked at you with incredulity as he realized, “So, because we couldn’t just buck up and tell each other honestly in that moment that we liked each other, we ended up losing each other anyways?” 

“Ugh, what a mess.” You revered and knocked your forehead against his chest ashamedly. You both were quiet again as he resumed rubbing your shoulder calmingly. 

“Chip?” Steve suddenly spoke out. 

Raising your head up to look at him again, still cringing from such a huge misunderstanding, you gave him a soft hum to continue his inquiry. 

Steve looked down into your eyes, making you feel mesmerized with how deeply he was gazing at you. From how close your faces were, you could really see the subtle hints of green in his blue eyes. There was still some grief there as you looked at each other but there was again, something else that you still couldn’t point out. 

Noticing that unknowing glint in his eye for the second time that night, you questioned him curiously hoping to finally find out, “What is it?”

“I like you.”

Your breath hitched at his confession, his eyes filled with mirth again and an honesty that couldn’t be faked. Your thundering heart skipped a beat as you felt your own spirit restore within you. You could feel those pieces in your heart start to build again. 

You looked back at him with such relief as Steve pulled you in closer, you took in another deep breath as you responded.

“I love you.” 

His eyes immediately glowed with an infectious joy, a genuine laugh and smile graced his face as he got closer to you. You could hardly breathe as you returned his loving gaze, his nose nuzzled yours gently until the both of you met each other halfway in a tender, first kiss. 

A/N: my cue to say: and they lived happily ever after! i would love to know what people thought, thanks for reading :)

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[propertyofwicked]

SECRETS part 4 - LN

content warnings: fluff, angst, drama (the whole shabang).

ur girl is going back to working full time tomorrow so if we have slow updates blame my place of work. also, im still recovering from the 4am wakeup and lando p3

previous part -> next part

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“max pick up the damn phone,” y/n said, taking great strides across the paddock towards the car park. once again, the phone call had gone to voicemail. she clicked his contact details, ringing him again. only this time, it didn’t even ring. the phone went straight to voicemail. and to add to the matter, max’s car had disappeared from the car park.

y/n sat on the empty floor of the empty parking spot her brothers car had been in, opening up her phone to check the time and send a message to max, she probably should’ve waited for the mix of fear and anger to fade, but here she was, tapping aggressively at the screen of her phone.

if you think you can ignore me forever, you’ve got another thing coming

dont think you can jump to conclusions and throw a childlike strop about this.

but of course, the messages stayed on delivered for hours. it was at least 2 hours before lando’s caller id popped up on her phone, still with no word from max.

“hey, where did you go? mum said something about you walking off,” lando asked her the moment she answered the call.

“currently? i’m sat on the floor of the car park. where are you - ill walk over now,” she said bluntly. he stayed on the line until she entered the mclaren unit.

“y/n? what do you mean max has left?” panic rising in his voice as she walked up to him, his hands coming to rest on her waist.

“i mean he’s left. gone. driven off,” she said with a shrug, “he won’t answer my calls, hasn’t read my texts, he’s just gone.”

“he might be at the hotel? we’ll drive over in a bit and see?”

“i don’t think we should do anything, i think we might have done enough damage for one day.”

“y/n your brother has just driven off. you should at least try and check if he’s at the hotel.”

“fine, but i’m going alone.”

“let me try and talk to him first, you never know something might’ve happened with P?” lando said, still stroking her hips softly, desperately trying to think of any reason that his best friend had up and left.

4 unanswered calls later, and lando and y/n found themselves sat on the sofa in his driving room again, her head laying on her lap as he stroked her hair, trying to resolve the anxiety.

“i don’t care what he thinks, y/n. i feel so strongly about you and i think i have for years.”

“i think i have too. but i hate the thought of people disliking me, let alone my own brother.”

“i know, angel. he’ll come around soon, i promise.”

“that man held a grudge against me for years when i accidentally scraped the side of his kart when i was 12,” she said, laughing sadly at the memory of their parents having to sit them down in the living room and make them apologise to each other. the moment was quickly interrupted by her phone ringing, max’s caller id popping up on the screen.

“ma-”

“no. don’t talk to me. you two have lied to my face for years about this. lando promised me he would never even think about you in that way. and you, i don’t know what ive done to you for you to go behind my back and fuck my best friend but it’s not on.”

“max i-” lando tried to reason with him.

“oh, of course he’s there. just waiting for the moment i left to start fucking my sister, didn’t you?”

“it’s not like that, max.”

“no? then what is it like? ‘cos from where im standing it’s pretty clear he’s been waiting years to take advantage of my little sister,” he argued down the phone, venom rolling off his tongue.

“take advantage of me?” she scoffed, moving to sit up and hold the phone next to her mouth, “who the fuck do you think you are to talk to or about me in that way? who gave you the audacity to believe you have any control over who i choose to date? you couldn’t care less about protecting me, you only care about protecting yourself," she said, her voice raising and her finger moving to point as if he were stood in front of her.

“he’s not right for you.”

“that’s your opinion max. if you can’t trust me, or lando for that matter, then why should i bother giving you a moment more to talk down to me?”

lando sat silently next to her, playing with his own fingers. this was not his fight to fight right now. he’d speak to max privately later, right now, he knew y/n needed to stand up for herself, and god was she smashing it.

“why can’t you just listen to me?” max sighed, defeated, “i know what’s good for yo-”

“go fuck yourself,” she said, hanging up the call, and dropping her phone on the floor besides her. lando’s arms move to behind her waist, pulling her back to rest into him on the sofa. the room fell into silence.

“im sorry,” she mumbled.

“don’t be sorry. this is on him, and me. i should’ve told him the truth the first time round. hell, i should’ve told you the truth earlier.”

“i’ve ruined your big day, lan. p2 - you should be celebrating, not arguing with your best friend.”

“im with you - that’s celebration enough,” he said, happy to see her smile for the first time in hours. she moved to lay her head back down on lando’s lap, this time looking up at him. a knock on the door brought the two of them back to reality, and cisca walked in, adam trailing slightly behind.

y/n contemplated moving, jumping away from the boy who was currently running his hands through her hair, but it had only been 4 hours of hiding whatever was going on between the two of them and she was already bored of keeping up the pretence.

“y/n, love, did you find max?” cisca asked, eyes softening at the scene unfolding in front of her. had she secretly wished for this for years? maybe.

“yea, he um, he went home.”

“he’s not happy about this, is he?” adam said, pointing between the two of you, yet even he couldn’t help but smile slightly.

“not happy, fuming, absolutely raging - i guess you could say that,” she replied, laughing slightly to ease any tensions.

“he’ll come around lovely, he can’t stay mad at you. you’re his sister after all.”

“i love that you think so highly of my brother, cisca. he will go to the grave holding this grudge if he can.”

“ill talk to him later ang- y/n,” lando said, correcting himself quickly, not comfortable enough yet to be overly affectionate in front of his parents.

“good luck with that,” y/n joked, patting him on the arm sadly.

later that evening, y/n found herself sat on the floor of lando’s hotel rifling through her bag to find her pyjamas. earlier, her and lando had driven to her hotel room, to find that max had packed his stuff and left as expected. she didn’t want to be alone, and lando didn’t want to leave her alone. her phone began to ring, and she answered it praying it wasn’t max.

“y/n the videos of you are going feral on twitter right now,” her best friend, caitlin, shouted down the phone the moment she picked up.

“stop it - what are people saying?”

“erm, some people think it’s cute?” he friend responded, voice laced in slight worry.

“…and the rest of them think im a slut?” y/n added, but her friend only responded with a hum.

“what’s max said?”

“from what i remember, he drove off leaving me stranded at the track and then rang me to say i was making a mistake, i was a liar and he never wanted to speak to me or lando ever again.”

“taking it well then,” the girl responded, y/n could hear her eyes rolling. at that moment, lando emerged from the bathroom, with just a towel hanging around his waist. any words y/n intended to say got stuck in her throat. he took strides towards her, noticing she was on the phone and pressing a kiss to the top of her head, before moving to his own suitcase to find a change of clothes.

“y/n…are you in lando’s room right now?”

“maybe?” y/n responded in a guilty tone, quieter than she had before, glad lando couldn’t hear the girl on the other side of the phone. however, he seemed to clock on to the question from the small grin on her face.

“girl why did you answer the phone? go spend time with your new controversial boyfriend.”

“he’s not my b- you know what, i’m gonna go.”

“dont do anything i wouldn’t do, stay safe!” her friend added cheerily, laughing as she ended the call. cheery was the furthest emotion from what y/n felt at this moment in time.

once y/n was in her pyjamas, she moved her way back into the room, lando was sat up in bed, his back resting on the headboard, phone in hand. he looked up as she walked in, patting the spot next to him for her to join. her face fell into a look that screamed apprehension.

“y/n nothing bad will happen if you get into this bed and cuddle with me.”

“something bad already happened,” she said, climbing under the duvet next to him nonetheless. his hand reached behind her waist pulling her into his chest, her head coming to rest on him.

“im happy this happened, but im not happy about every thing that’s happening as a result," she told him, her eyes blinking slowly as the exhaustion from todays drama caught up with her.

“i know baby,” he responded, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, “get some sleep. we’ll sort this out tomorrow, i promise.”

★ ☆ ✦ ✧ ✩ ✶

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