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marygaby25 · 3 years ago

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Warning: a lot of text

Okay. I know it took me a long time to post about this, but I wanted to organize my thoughts well. I don't like to be writing with my head hot, angry, disappointed, frustrated and sad. Waiting to not have those feelings I was never going to write this. With that cleared up let's talk about "What If?"

To say I wasn't expecting Sharon to be treated badly again would be lying. I was surprised that she showed up and relatively everything was fine (until she was killed obviously). I'm not going to lie it gave me hope, but what surprised me were the writer's words saying that he killed Sharon because he likes Steggy and that he wanted to give her a more grotesque death that Sharon had "Because Steve is Peggy's."

I will admit that I moved a little further away from the UCM series and its projects after "The Falcon and The Winter Soldier" Sharon was damaged and harmed again by making her a villain, the writer threw away the work that Emily had done saying that Sharon's moral code was too strong. Not to mention, Sharon has never and never been a villain at will (when she "killed" Steve in Civil War Sharon was under Faust's control) and the power broker is another character in the comics.

Again I walked away a bit more after watching the BlackWidow movie because we never saw that funeral that Nastasha deserved, just a grave with flowers left by people. We never got to see a funeral like Tony's or Yondu's, not even in her movie did they take the time to give her that moment.

I confess I was just reading the synopsis and watching summaries of the series. I watched the Zombie episode because a friend told me "you will be pleasantly surprised and heartbroken at the same time''. So I made the decision to give "What if?" a chance.

Everything was going well, more than well because I was watching Sharon (I almost died of happiness), I see Happy's death and Sharon apologizing and I got sad, but it was going more or less well.... Until I see how Okoye kills Sam, she apologizes to Bucky for killing him and the only thing she replies is something like she's not sad about it...

WTF!!!! The chapter is set between civil war and infinity war, Sam at that point had already risked his freedom and his life for Bucky. Bucky makes that comment so out of place, cold and ungrateful after Sam helped save him.

I keep watching because I thought it couldn't get any worse HA, HA, HA I'm such a fool for thinking that.

After a while I notice Sharon in the last car of the train, and what goes through my mind is, "Why is she alone in the last car if she only has Tony's glove and not the gun?". She heard the blow and immediately already knew the worst was yet to come, it was all downhill from there.

It is Steve who kills her. At the time I think it's kind of poetic because in the line of movies he took it upon himself to kill the idealistic and innocent Sharon Carter; by abandoning her the two years of fugitives and not looking for her. I guess watching deep movies like "The Shape of Water" and expecting that from Marvel was asking a lot.

Bucky kills Steve and apologizes, but Sam doesn't give him an ounce of grief for his death and Hope blows Sharon up from the inside. It was atrocious, but it's a zombie chapter my naive mind imagined there would be crueler and darker things. There was something just as dark if not darker which was Vision feeding off innocents to Wanda.

Let's continue watching the chapter and let's count how some characters died.

Well, Hope dies sacrificing herself I think it was a dignified death, it follows the death of Okoye who sacrifices herself for her king, I thought it was a normal thing because doremilages are supposed to fight for their kingdom and their king with their life. I hated that he said it was his fault for separating them, because no character objected when he gave the order, only Peter and in a joking tone. Follow up with the death of Kurt, Vision and Bucky. Simply Bucky's death this time for that action towards Sam, it didn't hurt.

The chapter ends with them with a possible cure and heading to wakanda where zombie thanos was waiting for them.

The bitterness that the chapter left me with was immense. The cruelest death and followed by joke was Sharon's, to the point that they minimized it and placed it to finish diverting Sharon's attention by exploiting everywhere the infected Hope scene. Sam's was the most blatant because it's not subliminal, it's direct with the words of "Bucky" saying he didn't care. I put Bucky in quotes because we all know it was the screenwriter, the Bucky we know in the MCU and comics wouldn't say that.

I thought I was paranoid suspecting Sharon's death was the cruelest and least taken seriously apropos...until I hear about the interview and realize how unprofessional the screenwriter is. What hypocrisy to say he loves Sharon on twitter after what he stated in the interview. I expected Matthew Chauncey to keep his word, not like a coward that when he gets caught he backs down seeing that he screwed up and we don't support him.

What happened in the series and in that interview is an example that the bad treatment of Sharon exists. It is not something invented by the fans, it is something on the part of the directors, writers and actors. I still don't forget Hayley Atwell's comment who said that peggy seeing that kiss in Civil War that Steve gave Sharon Peggy would revive, she would shoot Steve and Sharon would get beaten up.

I think Hayley,the writers and directors forgot that Peggy was happy with Daniel Sousa as far as we knew, even though in Agents of SHIELD they put Daniel with Quake.... It doesn't make sense, but as always they didn't want to let the series die and they tried hard to keep up with the ucm no matter that it would damage the plot of the series, which was what they should focus on (I don't know if the series is canon anymore because they even uploaded it to Disney plus).

the scriptwriters had never seen the series of agent Carter nor any of Peggy's comics (she doesn't have comics, but she has appearances) because she loves her niece, the little that comes out makes it clear. I'm not going to ask you to read all the comics either, just the most recent one where Agatha tells Steve a little more about the daughters of liberty and that possibly for Peggy Steve was just her first mission, maybe he's a good friend, for her and no more from there. Fun fact, at the end I didn't see Peggy angry trying to shoot them while they were sitting in the garden with Sharon and Steve for being together. Even when Steve found out she was alive he had no indication of leaving Sharon or getting romantically excited, rather he was walking around angry at Peggy , Sam and Bucky for not telling him about the risk to Sharon's life (Especially Peggy because it was more personal with her more than Sharon for killing the villain's husband. basically Sharon was kind of a target to somehow hurt Peggy). I imagine if they read it that comic or any other they would be frothing at the mouth.

I don't want to be pessimistic, but I saw "What if ?" and I doubt they will place Sharon as a Skrull, Mystique, mind control or give her a redemption. It's going to happen what happens with UCM villains, they'll kill her off. In fact, something tells me that they will try to make her crueler than the Red Skull to justify a horrible death. In case she's mystique or a Skull they'll probably say she's dead and won't even take the time to show it on screen.

Not only "What if?" made me lose hope "The Falcon and winter Soldier" too, remember I had posted that it looked like Sharon would be the Power Broker, but I doubted they would because she was another character in the comics. Well, hearing that statement in the interview anything is possible. By the way, I thank him for screwing Steve, since in the five years of the devastation he never helped Sam's family. I exclude Natasha from this as she was taking care of the avengers; Thor was depressed and didn't even know Sam; Tony had to take care of his family; Rhodey didn't know Sam well enough to know he had a family and Clint was in mourning.

Sorry for the language and clarify that I'm not throwing hate at Hayley, nor the directors and writers just showing that they didn't behave well neither with Sharon, nor with Emily

by the way, remember that meme I posted a while back about no character should be hated because of their shipp, I still hold that thought now more than ever. I think it fits perfectly with the screenwriter's behavior.

to those who made it this far thank you for reading my ramblings

#sharon carter #Agent 13 #what if?#marvel #Marvel Comics #sharoncarter #marvelgirl #mcu

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crowdvscritic · 4 years ago

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round up // JANUARY 21

New year, not-so-new Crowd vs. Critic! It’s another batch of films, TV, music, and reads that were new to me this month and think you would enjoy, too. As we cozy up inside for the winter, nothing warms you up like a good piece of pop culture.

January Crowd-Pleasers

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)

Does this sequel reach the heights of 2017’s Wonder Woman? No, but I wish more superhero movies were like this one. I explain why at ZekeFilm. Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 8/10

21 Bridges (2019)

A solid action crime thriller with a solid Chadwick Boseman at the center. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

The Lethal Weapon Series (1987-98)

I watched the first Lethal Weapon in 2017 for ZekeFilm, but now I’ve a decade’s pleasure of progressively over-the-top action sequences and progressively more absurd ways to destroy Roger Murtaugh’s (Danny Glover) house. The Murtaugh/Riggs bromance holds this progressively sillier series together, and an supporting cast of charismatic actors (Jet Li, Darlene Love, Chris Rock, Rene Russo) are game for whatever comes their way. Joe Pesci is the true MVP. Series Crowd: 9/10 // Series Critic: 7/10

The High Note (2020)

Tracee Ellis Ross’s Grace Davis is a diva in every sense of the word. A high-strung and highly successful singer, she’s also highly demanding of her assistant Maggie (Dakota Johnson), who wants to step out of her shadow and become a music producer. This rom-com-adjacent flick is one of the most fun escapes I’ve had from a 2020 movie, and it’s perfect for a girls’ night in. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10

Double Feature—Rom-Coms With a Magical Twist: Just My Luck (2006) + When In Rome (2010)

Disclaimer: These movies are not good. In fact, they’re junk, but they’re my kind of junk. In Just My Luck (Crowd: 7.5/10 // Critic: 6/10), Lindsay Lohan loses her life-long lucky streak when she kisses schlimazel Chris Pine. And When in Rome (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 6/10), Kristen Bell attracts unwanted admirers (Will Arnett, Danny DeVito, Josh Duhamel, Jon Heder, and real-life future husband Dax Shepard) after she steals their coins from a wishing fountain. To their credit, both of these movies know they’re silly, which means you have permission to just sit back and laugh along with (or, honestly, at) them.

WandaVision (2021)

I sometimes fear for the world of entertainment when I think of how much intellectual property Disney has gobbled up, but WandaVision is evidence the company is a benevolent dictator at least for now. This odd delight is a send up and a tribute to sitcoms like I Love Lucy, I Dream of Jeannie, and The Brady Bunch, and Paul Bettany and Elizabeth Olsen are so charming and weird I don’t need whatever mysterious sub-plot they’re building.

Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

If you want to make the most of watching Robin Hood: Men in Tights, first watch Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991), an action flick I saw last February and didn’t include in my monthly Round Up. This Mel Brooks spoof is a direct response that self-serious Kevin Costner adventure, even down to copying its costumes. While I wish I could find a Mel Brooks comedy with any substantial female character (in every movie I’ve seen so far, the joke is either, “She’s got a great rack!” or “Wow, she’s an uggo!”), I still couldn’t stop laughing at this 104-minute version of the Robin Hood scene in Shrek. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10

Aliens (1986)

Peak ‘80s action. Peak alien grossness. Peak girl boss Sigourney Weaver. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/.510

Big (1988)

After talking about Laverne & Shirley with Kyla on SO IT’S A SHOW?, I had to check out Penny Marshall’s classic. While a few moments haven’t aged so well, its heart is sweet and the script is hilarious. And that Tom Hanks? I think he’s going places. Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 8/10

Unstoppable (2010)

I’ve laughed at SNL’s spoof of this movie for a decade, so it’s about time I got around to enjoying this action thriller very loosely based on the true story of a train that got away from its conductor. Denzel Washington (“You’re too old!”) and Chris Pine (“You’re too young!”) are our heroes in this over-the-top ridiculousness, and their chemistry is so extra it makes me hope they team up for another movie again. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10

January Critic Picks

Double Feature—‘90s Space Adventures: Apollo 13 (1995) + Contact (1997)

I have no desire to join Tom Cruise as he films in space, but I know I’ll be pumped to watch whatever he makes because I love sci-fi and space adventures. Apollo 13 (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 9/10) tells the story of an almost-disastrous NASA mission in the ‘60s, and it taps into our hope for the human spirit to overcome obstacles. Contact (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10) surmises what might happen if we received communication from extraterrestrial life, and it taps into our struggle to reconcile faith and science.

McCartney III by Paul McCartney (2020)

I spent January catching up on the albums on Best of 2020 lists, and the one I listened to for hours and hours was Paul McCartney’s latest solo album. Catchy, thoughtful, and musically surprising, it ranges from pop to rock to folk in 45 minutes and still feels like it’s over too soon. Like Tom Hanks, this Paul McCartney guy is going places!

The Thin Man Series (1934-47)

Like Lethal Weapon, I watched the first installment of The Thin Man awhile back, and Kyla and I even covered the series on our podcast. But thanks to a full series marathon on TCM earlier this month, I’ve now laughed through all five. When you talk about great chemistry, you’ve got to talk about William Powell and Myrna Loy, who make Nick and Nora’s marriage feel lived in and romantic as they solve crimes together. Witty, suspenseful, and jaunty, this series is still sexy cool over 80 years later. (Also, Asta? Still one of the cutest dogs in cinema.) Series Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

The King and I (1956)

Here’s your regularly scheduled reminder Hollywood works differently now, and many casting decisions of the ‘50s wouldn’t fly today. What has aged well in this film: The Rodgers and Hammerstein music and the sumptuous costumes and set design. I love extravagant musicals of yesteryear—perhaps it’s time for Hollywood to revisit and remake The King and I for modern audiences?

youtube

Inauguration Day

In a year with no major televised events with celebrities in a room together, Inauguration Day felt like the most exciting cultural event in ages. We’ve been missing major fashion, but then we got Lady Gaga! We’ve been missing live performances, but then we got Amanda Gorman! And I got a lot of tears during that poem—not just me, right?

Good Reads

Writing that made me think and smile this month:

Steven Soderbergh’s list of everything he read, watched, and listened to this year, Extension765.com (2020) – An indirect inspiration for these monthly Round Ups!

“My Year of Making Lists,” NewYorker.com (2020) – I made a lot of lists in 2020, so I feel this author’s #mood

“Betty White Says She Will Spend Her 99th Birthday Feeding Two Ducks Who Visit Her ‘Every Day,’“ CBSNews.com (2021) - “Betty is a treasure,” I say as I watch The Proposal for the 99th time

“A Sculpture’s Unusual Journey to SLAM [St. Louis Art Museum],” SLAM.org (2020) – With a casual mention of an attraction I never knew about in St. Louis

“The Culture Is Ailing. It’s Time for a Dr. Fauci for the Arts.” WashingtonPost.com (2020) – An idea that occurred to me a few months ago: Why don’t we have an Arts Cabinet?

“The Arts Are in Crisis. Here’s How Biden Can Help.” NYTimes.com (2021) – Partly in response to that Washington Post piece, a historical look at how artists have made it through difficult times in the past and how we can revive artists’ livelihoods mid- and post-pandemic

“The Right’s Message to Silicon Valley: 'Free Speech for Me, But Not for Thee,'” TIME.com (2021) – A more thoughtful and less reactionary take on a volatile moment in the history of modern technology

“'It Makes Me Sick With Grief': Trump's Presidency Divided Families. What Happens to Them Now?” TIME.com (2021) – A study on how politics has done damage to family dynamics in America

“Help, the Only Cinema I Can Handle Is Zac Efron Prancing Angrily in High School Musical 2,” Vulture.com (2021) - In a lot of ways, same

“50 Easy Things To Do When You are Anxious,” ShopTwentySeven.com (2021) – I especially endorse coloring, puzzling, and watching happy movies!

Double Feature—Miss Marple Mysteries: Murder at the Gallop (1963) + Murder Ahoy (1964)

Remember when I was all like, “Watch these Agatha Christie movies so you’re not sad Death on the Nile is delayed”? Remember when I said I was just a few movies away from becoming an Agatha Christie junkie? Well, I think I’m there because I can’t stop with the murder mysteries! Margaret Rutherford is a treasure whether she’s solving a murder at a horse ranch or on a boat, and a cast of colorful supporting characters (including Rutherford’s husband) makes these breezy instead of heavy. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8/10

8½ (1963)

File this with 2001: A Space Odyssey—I don’t know if I really understood this film, but I think I liked it? Federico Fellini’s surrealist, male gaze-y drama blurs the lines between reality and imagination, love and dysfunction, and the past and maybe some future that involves clowns? What resonated with me was the story of a director with creative block, wondering if he’s already peaked and if he’ll create anything worthwhile again. Crowd: 6/10 // Critic: 9/10

Sense and Sensibility: The Screenplay and Diaries by Emma Thompson (1995)

Sense and Sensibility is not just one of my favorite Jane Austen adaptations—it’s one of my all-time favorite films. One of the co-hosts of one of my favorite podcasts has raved many-a-time about Emma Thompson’s journals from the making of film, so it was only a matter of time before I read them myself. Witty, informative, and all-around lovely, Thompson’s journals are an excellent insight into the filmmaking process and how novels are adapted.

Also in January…

I reviewed the new-ish documentary Flannery for ZekeFilm, which is all about the writer Flannery O’Connor and feels a little like going back to high school English class.

In addition to the Lethal Weapon and Thin Man series, I rewatched all of the X-Men series this month. You can see everything I am watching on Letterboxd, including favorites I love returning to (i.e. X-Men: Days of Future Past) and the movies I try that don’t make my monthly recommendations (i.e. The Wolverine).

Photo credits: Paul McCartney, Zac Efron, Sense & Sensibility. All others IMDb.com.

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charlxttes · 4 years ago

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hello friends!! dede here, nineteen years old, she/her pronouns, kickin’ it in gmt + 2, and i’m proud to introduce my bitch of a daughter, charlotte irving aka the emperor! so, without further ado, let’s get right into it, shall we?

THE EMPEROR.

upright — authority, establishment, structure, logic over emotion, concentration. reversed — domination, excessive control, inflexibility, rigidity, stubbornness.

FAST FACTS.

name — charlotte adela irving. pronouns — she/her/hers. age — 20. year — sophomore. major — law. zodiac sign — virgo sun, scorpio moon, aquarius rising. dorm arrangements — carstone house.

BIOGRAPHY.

a cracked magnifying glass. the shoe box decorated with paper roses clearly cut out from some magazine is covered in even more dust than she remembered. wrinkling her nose ever-so-slightly, charlotte closes her eyes before blowing off most of the dust and dirt amassed on the box after years of it being kept under the bed she used to sleep in while living in her parents’ house. overcoming her subtle feelings of disgust, she lifts the lid to look at the contents once stored there, contents she didn’t think she’d ever be coming back to. they bring back so many memories, some fond, some less so. like the small magnifying glass, now functionless and cracked, that she used to ‘solve the case’ of the ‘stolen’ cookies (which, in reality, were eaten by her friend’s father). or the stack of children’s mystery stories. she smiles, remembering how she used to devour them under the covers late at night with a flashlight, hoping her parents wouldn’t come into the room. while she still occasionally enjoys an agatha christie story, she’s moved past that. or at least so she thought. looks like she might need to get back in miss marple mode, because, if we’re being honest, if she can’t find that poor kidnapped neighbor… who can? loose leaf paper scattered to the wind. charlotte lets out a groan, leaning back in her chair. it’s been a long night of studying, the various used coffee mugs on her desk can attest to that, and yet somehow her head appears to be empty every time she tries to search for any trace of what she’s just finished revising. in high school, every subject came to her so easily. she worked moderately hard to produce excellent results. people always said it’s going to be different when she goes to university, but she never believed them, not deep down. and it’s not, she corrects herself mentally. she just needs to study harder. but you have, a voice argues somewhere in her head. and it didn’t help. distraught and confused, she doesn’t even notice when the first tears roll down her cheeks, but soon she’s shaking in her chair, quietly sobbing, her face hidden in her hands. suddenly, as if ordered to by some military commander, she gets up and grabs her notes. the tears streaming down her cheeks fall on the paper, making it wet. but it’s not a concern for her now, albeit it would be normally. she opens the window and throws everything she’s holding out. watching the notes fly away, god knows where, she stops crying and covers her mouth, as if only realizing what she’s done now. a rowboat missing an oar. her jaw is beginning to hurt from how hard she’s been clenching it for the past fifteen minutes or so. her arm muscles are burning, but she doesn’t let it stop her. it can’t. along with her two teammates, she keeps moving the oars she’s holding as tightly as if her life itself depended on it. if they lose this race, her parents back home will… she doesn’t even want to think what they will or won’t do. the finish line is now within sight, and while twelve-year-old charlotte was beginning to tire before this moment, the surge of adrenaline this view gives her revives her completely. like a freshly charged battery, her arms work in perfect sync with her teammates’, and a smirk appears on her face. their opponents are slightly behind them, and there doesn’t seem to be any reason for them to not keep up the pace they’re going at currently; looks like victory will be theirs. just as they approach the glory and success they came here to reach, she hears her teammate, maria, scream, apparently in pain. she looks at the other girl only to see her drop one of the oars into the water and proceed to hold her apparently badly cramped hand. charlotte shoots her a gaze that, if, as the saying goes, looks could kill, would murder not only maria, but all the teams on the lake on the spot. “well, what are you waiting for?!”, she screams. “go get it!” maria does, and does so fast, but not fast enough for them to be able to beat the other teams. they one of the opposing boats cross the finish line. charlotte’s lips turn into an extremely thin line. she doesn’t speak, but there’s a lot she’d like to say. and her team is well aware of it. the last one picked on a sports team. charlotte is standing in the middle of the gym, the pride and joy of sommerville high school, which while not new - as if anything in sommerville could be new - still managed to hold up decently over the years. tapping her foot on the wooden floor impatiently, she raises her eyes to the sky. why can’t she just be in the history classroom already? does she have to waste this hour she could be spending in a productive way on throwing a ball into a hoop? with a sigh, she looks at the other girls in her class. most are already gathered in front of her, split into two groups. those by her side keep joining either team, one by one. ah yes, the endless popularity contest. or just a sports contest before the actual sports have even begun. as if the world couldn’t go a few hours without challenging her yet again, truly. finally, after a few minutes have passed, charlotte is alone. the captain of the team on the left tries to hide her disappointment and fails miserably while gesturing for her to join them. charlotte walks over to her newfound basketball team, head high, expression icy. she has other strengths, she tells herself. she doesn’t need to be good at basketball, too. flickering candlelight. the roses building, the windows covered and the candles lit, presumably for dramatic value, is full, as it has been, is and will be every holy saturday. from her family’s bench, about in the middle of the church’s length, charlotte can barely see the ‘grave’ they came here to visit. she never quite understood this particular tradition; how could any rational person believe their lives would be bettered by coming to stare at the make-believe grave of jesus christ, who in actuality died thousands of years ago - whether permanently is a debatable subject, but this isn’t the point - and wasn’t even buried in this manner? still, her mother is sitting on her left, and charlotte knows she can’t allow herself to display any signs of disinterest. both because her mother would certainly have some strong words for her when they returned home about how important being focused and prayer is, and because she’s now a student at st. cade’s - that means she can’t show any kind of weakness or besmirch her reputation in any way, or the consequences could be extremely unpleasant. lowering her head and closing her eyes, she starts counting down seconds.

WANTED.

i’m pretty much down for any kind of plot! but just to name a few that would be cool:

study buddies — charlotte actually takes the whole school thing extremely seriously, so it’s be nice if she had someone to actually do all that cramming with. roommates — this is actually for when we get another person in carstone house or i crack and message the admins about a change being possible (rip). but yeah i’m trash for roommates. just. i’m trash for them. bad influences — you know the ‘i’m gonna lead you down the path that rocks’ meme? basically this. charlotte here is kind of a wet blanket, and she could use someone more fun and sociable to ~teach her their ways~. rivals — especially academics-wise. homegirl can get super competitive, and i’d love to see someone being as competitive as her in this regard. some romantic stuff? — to be honest, i’ve just written a lot of angst recently, so like, a pure, adorable crush or something like that (though i’m down for some small bits of sadness thrown in there) would be wonderful.

EXTRAS.

wow, congrats, you’ve reached the end of this thing! here, have her playlist as your reward.

#❛ 𝘣𝘪𝘰 ❜

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thebibliomancer · 7 years ago

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Essential Avengers: Fantastic Four #150: Ultron-7: He’ll Rule the World!

September, 1974

It never stops being weird whenever something that is not Avengers follows the colon after Essential Avengers but hey if every comic was Avengers, I wouldn’t need to have that Essential Avengers bit there at all to make absolutely sure that everybody knows that this is an Avengers liveblog and not a Fantastic Four liveblog.

And also because I started out reading from the black and white Essentials trade.

Anyway, geez. I didn’t think it could get more ridiculous than Ultron “my butt is jet powered” 6 but here we have a giant Ultron head on the body of a giant robot that is for some reason dressed in red spandex. What is with your fashion, the Inhumans?

Forget everything about the Kree, the Inhumans were really created when someone planned a society where superhero wear like onesies and masks are considered casual wear.

I like the cover caption though. “Ultron grabs the bridal bouquet -- and the bride!” Because imagine Ultron at a wedding for reals. Imagine him seriously getting the bouquet and being thrilled that he is going to get married next. Because that’s all Ultron wants. He wants to turn Janet Van Dyne into a naked robot and then marry her. And he will name her Jocasta because subtlety is for other people.

Of course, the real title of this (part of the) issue is “ULTRON-7: HE’LL RULE THE WORLD*” and I know the asterisk is to note that the first part of this story was in Avengers #127 but I can’t help but think of a disclaimer that says something like “void where prohibited.”

Ultron-7, of course, decides to take some time gloating. In fact, he so wants to revel in his victory that he unparalyzes everyone.

Ben immediately tries to throw a large, indeterminate object at Ultron despite Reed’s warning but gets SPACHOOM!’d for his trouble.

Meanwhile, Agatha Harkness was not affected by the paralyzing for some reason so has absconded somewhere with the comatose Franklin Richards.

Franklin has been in a coma since Fantastic Four #141 when his dad, Reed, put him in one. I won’t offer context. Just know that it happened.

Reed wonders how Ultron came to possess Omega’s body and because its Ultron, he of course decides to explain it all. Maximus found Ultron’s decapitated head after Avengers #68 and brought it the Inhuman’s Great Refuge with a long-distance tractor beam.

Since Black Bolt is both an idiot and guilty over Maximus’ unstable mental condition, Maximus was provided a bunch of scientific equipment to amuse himself. With that equipment, Maximus revived Ultron’s head and attached it to the mindless body of Omega.

Maximus intended for Ultron to be his ally in taking over the Inhumans but instead Ultron turned on him.

With the exposition out of the way, I guess its time for the big fight scene. And Ultron is already halfway there. Cause he’s big.

Of course, even though he could splatter most of these chumps with a punch, he can also just dissolve their brains with squiggle rays.

Ultron gloats that all the heroes’ skulls will be filled with psychic rubble and that there’s nothing they can do to stop it at all.

Except Ultron reckoned without a small child.

Ultron’s psychic assault was enough to awaken Franklin from his dad-induced coma and rouse a brain with enough power to consume an entire planet.

And disturbed from his sleep, Franklin lashes out and destroys Ultron’s brain.

I’d say its an ignominious defeat, perhaps Ultron’s most ignominious of all, but it’s about right. Ultron is for all intents and purposes a screaming pissbaby, so its about right that he get taken out by an actual child.

Although in terms of a cliffhanger, this is about as disappointing as the resolution from the end of Rise of the Cybermen to The Age of Steel.

Anyway, Ultron-7 is super dead.

And Reed is thrilled. Not about that. But that Franklin’s dangerous powers seem to be gone now. Booyah, his decision to put his child into a coma is retroactively justified!

Any everyone around can’t help but smile at seeing a family reunited and also Ultron dead because screw that wedding crasher.

But that’s only a little over half of the book. Yup. Omega Ultron-7, the big cliffhanger crossover from Avengers to Fantastic Four was dealt with halfway into the book.

The rest of the book is the wedding.

It’s smart actually. Everyone knows that superhero weddings get interrupted by supervillains. So instead, they scheduled the supervillain interruption for before the wedding.

As we begin part 2 “The Wedding of Crystal and Quicksilver” weirdly angelic Inhumans fly around tooting ridiculous horns.

And we get a bunch of vignettes of the various characters preparing for the wedding.

There’s Alicia Masters and Ben Grimm getting ready. And it takes Thor to try to wrestle the Thing into formal attire before giving up under threats of violence.

Reed and Sue reminisce about their wedding and Reed asks if Sue remembers it. And Sue is like no shit I remember our wedding, but that’s because I’m a woman and not because Doctor Doom tried to kill us all that day. And then Reed apologizes by stealing flowers from across the street.

Thor and Iron Man bond over being star-crossed in love. Thor, having two great loves that something always keeps him apart from. And Iron Man, having lost his great love Pepper when she married his best friend.

And over a hundred guests show up for the wedding. But Johnny Storm and Medusa tarry. Johnny and Medusa have a talk about Johnny’s old relationship with Crystal. Medusa reassures him that Crystal loved him once but that people change. And Johnny admits that he thought he was adjusted to the idea of Crystal marrying someone else the previous day but now he feels like there’s glass breaking inside of him.

Medusa offers to stay with him while he deals with these feels. And an odd little definitely unintended precursor to the two of them dating later. Huh.

And then the wedding (Damnit Quicksilver, put on a damn tux or something).

Black Bolt gives his silent blessing.

The Whizzer watches the wedding on a monitor screen at Avengers Mansion, because at this point this is his son’s wedding, before the retcons.

And then Crystal, Quicksilver and Lockjaw teleport away for their honeymoon.

And despite his conflict broken glass feelings, Johnny finds himself smiling after all.

It’s all very lovely and only slightly diminished by knowledge of what their marriage will come to in the years to follow. Oh endless sequential shared universe storytelling. You make fools of us all.

Of course, this is far more of a Fantastic Four story then an Avengers story. Sure, the Fantastic Four borrow Ultron from the Avengers’ rogues gallery but its Franklin Richards who defeats him. We check in with Iron Man and Thor being sad sacks for a bit but mostly we check in with the Fantastic Four and Inhumans. Johnny Storm gets the final panel, having accepted that Crystal is marrying someone else.

But it is Scarlet Witch’s absence which is damning. She appears in some crowd shots in the first half but once the wedding half of the issue gets underway, she’s nowhere to be seen. She gets no dialogue in this issue. This is the wedding of the brother who has disowned her and we don’t learn anything about how the moment is affecting her.

We don’t even see her in the wedding audience! We see Vision but Wanda isn’t next to him. Its a big oversight and a huge wasted opportunity.

Next time in Avengers: Necrodamus. Didn’t I briefly cover him while discussing the Defenders?

#Avengers #Fantastic Four #Inhumans #Ultron #Crystal #Quicksilver #Franklin Richards #Ultron 7 #i want everyone to rub this in ultron's face for the rest of forever #everytime he pops up #i think sue and reed's is the only superhero wedding that has lasted #kind of sad #Essential Avengers #Essential marvel liveblogging

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journeysintowebcomics · 7 years ago

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Girl Genius Liveblog #121

UPDATE 121: The Death of Something Big

Last time Gil and Tarvek had fought with everything they had, all for the sake of distracting the Castle. It was good to watch, even though there was no clear winner. Still, they did this right, the Castle was distracted while Agatha worked on the generators, I suppose. Let’s continue!

Well the Castle had found out it was a plan. He has turned rather irrational, having realized he had been fooled while Agatha disobeyed his orders and continued working towards something that’d kill her. Desperate, the Castle turns his attention to the suitors. You’re not Heterodynes so you can die, mkay?

I’m never going to stop being amazed at how many deadly tools the Castle can activate anytime. This whole building is an outstanding thing to behold. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Heterodynes managed to turn this into a non-euclidean space. Agatha’s not going to stand aside and let the Castle turn her two almost-boyfriends into mincemeat, she’s ready to counter!

...she activated what she was working on, and that...it led to the Castle’s demise. Agatha just killed her own Castle. I can’t believe Agatha killed the Castle. After everything that was done to get herself recognized by it and all, she killed the Castle. She...oh my god. I mean, I get this was a bad situation and sometimes drastic measures are needed, but I never imagined she’d kill the Castle. Damn it...I’m going to miss it. I liked it.

What a fantastic page. Perfect. Also I had completely forgotten about Agatha’s friends. I haven’t heard a word about them! I wonder what they’re doing...at least they’re okay. Good for them, I can rest easy knowing they’re okay. Othar, why are you on this page? Are you in the Castle already, doing your task for Wulfenbach?

Gil’s wrong, the Castle being a big threat was one of the two things keeping Wulfenbach away, the other being Gil’s presence. Are you sure about this, Agatha? I mean, what Wulfenbach doesn’t know won’t affect anyone, but we’re talking about the Baron here. There’s no way he’s not going to find out! I bet he’s already contacting his troops to give instructions. Gil, stay in this place no matter what or else Agatha is doomed.

Agatha’s not wrong, the Castle was an obstacle at this point. They need to cure themselves, and that can’t be done when you got the Castle throwing a dozen deadly things at you at once. Besides, it can be revived later, right? Hmmmm...I admit I’m a bit worried about his reaction once he’s revived. I don’t think he’d retaliate against Agatha in any way, but I do think he’s not going to be happy about this. Who knows, maybe he’d try what Moloch accidentally suggested, the part about locking Agatha in her bedroom.

Figures. At this point it’s like the universe hates Agatha trying to do any progress in anything. What’s it now? Did the river suddenly become sentient and now will try to drown everyone? Don’t pretend that’s not something that can’t happen, Foglios, because it can happen. I have read several volumes of this webcomic so far.

Will Agatha be able to do something without any distraction popping up? Will Gil get to knock Tarvek’s teeth out before the day ends? Will Tarvek metaphorically backstab anyone during the next hour? Find out in the next thrilling episode of Agatha Heterodyne – Girl Genius!

I do wonder what’s going to emerge from the depths of this place...some kind of monster, I’d guess. Just what did you bury down here, Heterodynes? Something able to talk, that much is obvious now. It could be anything.

Yeah, that was the end of the volume. Volume nine, cleared! Fantastic! I’m now past halfway of the available content, go team! And it was an eventful volume, yes. Agatha getting sick, Tarvek and Gil trying to deal with their disease, getting some background on Tarvek and Gil...I enjoyed the volume. Thanks, Foglios, you’re doing great! So that makes two volumes inside the Castle, could there be a third volume incoming? I imagine they’d stay in a place for a max of three volumes, any more than that and it’d be a tad excessive. Dealing with Zola and reviving the Castle, that should take one volume. I’m not counting the resplendent immolation disease, because I imagine that’s the very first thing to be solved in this new volume once this new distraction is dealt with.

So, Volume 10! Well, before that, there’s a page...Da Boyz are relaxing and Maxim has a classic Christmas hat, getting compliments from it. Hah! All kinds of hats are fair game for the Jagers!

Well he’s going a point there, the URL says this was posted on December 11th! There’s no time for a month-long intermission!

As said, Volume 10 is starting. Let’s get into it! As it has happened before, this doesn’t start inside the Castle. It’s with Vanamonde, hurrying to see his grandfather. I remember seeing that old man in the page when the Castle died...it makes sense he’d know. He’s the one whose skull was drilled for easy access.

I wouldn’t put it past the Castle. It’d make it easier for the Castle to take over the old man if there was some of it already inside his brain, right? That makes sense to me. Enjoy your brain parasite once you’re the new seneschal, Vanamonde.

Turns out the Castle’s death has affected far more than just the building it is. Many things in the town has stopped. Clocks, fountains, street lights...all that is now inactive. The Castle isn’t just the building, it’s like this big mechanism that’s all over Mechanisburg, then. It’s like part of its soul. This is going to be a problem, because there’s no way the Baron or someone in the Baron’s side won’t notice what’s happening in the town! Heck, the characters themselves here in the story are aware of that, and they’re wondering why the Baron hasn’t started an attack. I know the answer, it’s because of Gil. The moment Gil’s out will be the moment the Castle is destroyed...physically.

Okay, he definitely knows. Dr. Sun isn’t going to be pleased about the wanton destruction, buddy. At this rate Wulfenbach will have to be chained in the basement of the hospital, in a padded room, all so he doesn’t get out and finally gets the rest he needs. A reminder: it has been less than a day since Agatha entered the Castle and this man has refused several times to rest. It’s admirable.

Bangladesh is working hard on stopping Wulfenbach from ‘not resting’ any longer. Hey, she can finally talk! Good for her! Drastic measures are needed, they pretty much fired a rocket at Wulfenbach’s mechanical vehicle, making it fall to the ground. Hah! As if that’ll stop the Baron.

...

...damn it, Foglios, you just had to go and make me sad. Here I was, having fun, and then you do this. Of course Wulfenbach was going to save his son. I mean, what else would he want to do? It’s not like he can rely on Othar’s help alone, the Baron isn’t going to leave Gil’s fate up in the air like that. And since the Other could get to Gil...yeah. I had already guessed Wulfenbach was going to get his son and then destroy the Castle, but I never thought I’d see it stated in such a tragic way. Welp.

Dr. Sun demands more bed rest, and knocks Wulfenbach out. It’s done, he’s down again. This may be a good place to stop, so I will stop here.

Next update: four updates

#girl genius #girl genius liveblog #webcomics #liveblog #webcomics liveblogs

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trendingnewsb · 7 years ago

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Glenn Close: You lose power if you get angry

From vengeful mistress to Agatha Christie matriarch: the actor talks about Harvey Weinstein, mental illness and growing up in a cult

Glenn Close and I sit at the corner of a large boardroom table in an intimidatingly minimalist office on the 14th floor of a Los Angeles talent agency. Its the kind of environment in which Patty Hewes, the ruthless lawyer Close played in Damages for five seasons, would feel at home and Im almost waiting for her to stand up, slam both hands on the table and shout, Ill rip your face off or any of the other terrifying put-downs that defined her double Emmy award-winning performance.

But Close is in high spirits and radiates such warmth I barely notice the chill from the tower blocks air-con. After we fiddle with the settings on our swivel chairs, which are so high they make anyone under six foot kick their legs like a child on a swing, the 70-year-old, six-time Oscar nominee and star of stage, television and film starts telling me about her dreams. I have had a lot recently, full of this wonderful love for a younger man. The dreams just keep coming and I wake up thinking, that was wonderful! It wasnt necessarily us doing the sexual act, just the feeling of love.

With her white hair cut to a sharp crop, and wearing a relaxed navy blazer, chinos and black scarf on account of the arctic corporate temperature, she looks stylish and fit. I have never felt better in my life, and I am, like, 70, she says. Im really a late bloomer.

She says she feels a disconnect between how she sees herself and how people may view me when I walk down the street, like: Theres an old lady. You know, there is now this cult of the model. Everyone on the red carpet is made into a model. That is very hard to not play into I have a bit of podge I am trying to get rid of, but its hard. I just think, Oh fuck, Ive been doing this my whole life! But the irony is, you just get better and better with age. You dont feel less alive or less sexy.

In Agatha Christies Crooked House. Photograph: Nick Wall

We are here to talk about Crooked House, the Agatha Christie adaptation debuting on Channel 5, before its theatrical release, in which Close plays Lady Edith, a matriarch of a very dysfunctional family. Close says, Christies grandson came to the set and he validated the fact that it was her favourite book, and the one that had never been adapted. He said when she handed it to the publisher, she was told she had to change the ending, because it was too upsetting and controversial. She refused. Its still pretty controversial.

This production, co-written by Julian Fellowes, might not be as spendy as Kenneth Branaghs $55m Murder On The Orient Express, but the ensemble cast is equally starry: joining Close are Gillian Anderson, Max Irons, Terence Stamp and Christina Hendricks. Close presides over her co-stars with gravitas and grace, in an understated performance that finds the humour in an otherwise bleak setup. But youd expect nothing less from the actor whose 40 years in the business started with star turns in Broadway productions (she won a Best Actress Tony in 1983 for Tom Stoppards The Real Thing). Her first film role, at the age of 35, was with Robin Williams in The World According To Garp, for which she received an Oscar nomination as she did for her supporting roles in The Big Chill and The Natural. Her performances in Fatal Attraction, Dangerous Liaisons and Albert Nobbs, about the life of a transgender butler in late 19th century Ireland, which she also co-wrote, racked up further Oscar nominations but still no win. This is seen by many as a travesty: Close brings a precision to her film work, honed through her years on stage. She has that rare taut quality Jack Nicholson also has it where you believe that beneath the steely control she is capable of snapping at any moment.

It was this that led Andrew Lloyd Webber to cast her in 1993 as the tragic silent movie star Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard on Broadway. Close reprised the role 23 years later, getting her old costumes out of storage (she has kept all her costumes and recently donated the collection to a university in Indiana) for its revival in Londons West End.

As Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction: Clearly she had mental health issues. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

But it was her Oscar-nominated turn as Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction in 1987 that proved career-defining. Thirty years on, Close still counts Forrest as the character of whom she feels most fond; she has admitted to fighting tooth and nail against the films eventual denouement, which turned the character into a bunny-boiling psychopath and Close into the casting directors go-to woman on the verge for years afterwards. Now we have the vocabulary to talk about these things, clearly she had mental health issues, she says.

Close sits regally still as she speaks, emphasising her points by leaning forward and locking eyes. Shes comfortable with silences and often takes a theatrical beat or two before answering questions. Shes all poise and control, but does she ever lose her temper?

I express my feelings quietly. I am not afraid of confrontation, but I am not particularly good at it. If I get attacked, I am not good at attacking back. There is fight, flight and freeze and I tend to freeze. That is not a strength of mine. I love the fact that my daughter Annie [Starke, an actor] is more of a fighter than I am. She doesnt let people get away with shit. While she agrees that women have a harder time being angry, publicly, than men, she says, I have played a lot of characters, and actually anger makes you lose power. Patty Hewes [in Damages] she hardly ever lost her temper, but when she did, it was very specific. I have always felt you lose power if you get that angry.

The collective outpouring of anger among women in Hollywood right now is something of which Close is acutely aware. She says that sexism in the industry has shifted more slowly than it should have done throughout her career: It took Harvey Weinstein and someone calling him out [for real change to happen]. I know Harvey, and he has never done that to me, but people would say he was a pig. I never knew that it was that bad and I dont personally know anybody who has endured that. I would like to think that I would have done something about it.

We discuss whether its possible to separate the work from the personalities involved in it. News has just broken that House Of Cards will be back for another series without Kevin Spacey, after it was originally canned because of harassment claims brought against its leading man. Close wraps her scarf around her chest and fixes me with her electric eyes. Artists, to make a huge generality, walk on a very thin line. Sometimes, like my beloved friend Robin Williams, who was one step away from madness, whatever makes them a great artist also makes them very complicated human beings. Again, that doesnt mean they can prey on and abuse people.

With Harvey Weinstein in 2013. Photograph: Mike Coppola/Getty Images

At the root of the problem of sexism in Hollywood right now is, Close says, biology. I think the way men have treated women, from the beginning of time, is because they have different brains to women. So I am not surprised by it at all. I say to a guy, Tell me the truth, if you see a woman walk into a room, what is the first thought that goes through your head? His answer, always, is, Would I fuck her? It doesnt mean they act on it. If you can evolve into a society where men know that they should not always act on it then there has been a positive revolution. But you cant just say that theyre not going to have the thought that is ridiculous. It also has to be the women, who are not powerful, to be OK to say no and leave the room. I think its unrealistic to say were going to change but we have to evolve.

I ask Close who she thinks is a great man today. She is silent, thinking, for what feels like a full 60 seconds in which I am so tempted to throw out some options: Barack Obama, the Pope, the friendly security guard on reception who let us in

Nelson Mandela, is her final answer, but Im not sure shes convinced. I guess for me, she says, greatness is taking your humanity and still doing the good thing. Its sad to say that there are very few men, who are leaders, who have some sort of moral code that they dont deviate from because of popular opinion.

She thinks we are undergoing a crisis of masculinity: In the public mind, yes. I was outraged when I heard that there was a war against men I was like, are you joking? What do you think has been happening against women for centuries?

Close knows all too well about the misuse of power, because her own upbringing was, as she puts it, complicated. When she was seven, her parents joined a cult. Moral Re-Armament or MRA was a modern, nondenominational movement founded by an American evangelical fundamentalist which extolled the four absolutes: honesty, purity, unselfishness and love. Her father, a physician working in the Congo, sent Close with her brother and two sisters from the family home in Greenwich, Connecticut, to live at the MRA HQ in Caux, Switzerland (Closes mother, Bettine, was a socialite).

She is vague on the details but clear on the impact this experience had on her as a teenager: I was repressed, clueless and guilt-ridden. The timeline is patchy, but Close travelled with MRA in the 60s as a member of their musical groups, and spent time back in Connecticut at an elite boarding school. I had a wonderful time at Rosemary Hall, a girls school, she says. I was in a renegade singing group called the Fingernails: A Group With Polish. But she remained, as she calls it clueless. A lot of my friends knew boys youd have these horrendous dances with boys schools and they would get the guys they wanted and I would just stay with the person I was with.

As Patty Hewes in Damages. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

She was briefly married before going to university. It is a complicated story for me. I was married before college, and kind of in an arranged marriage when you look back on it, and my marriage broke up when I went to college, as it should have. I was 22. But my liberal arts school had a wonderful theatre that was my training, my acting school.

Was that where she finally learned about sex, popular culture, the ways of the world? Not really, she says. I still am learning.

Close has two sisters, Tina the eldest, and Jessie her younger sister; and two brothers, Alexander, and Tambu Misoki, who was adopted by Closes parents while living in Africa. At the age of 50, Jessie spent time in a psychiatric hospital and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, a weight that had been hanging over the family, undiscussed, for years. Talking about mental illness just wasnt done, Close says. You dont have a vocabulary for it and youre also very aware of appearances. You dont want to appear a crazy family.

In 2010 Close founded Bring Change to Mind, a charity that aims to end the stigma around mental illness by talking openly about it and its effect on families. It was my nephew who was first diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. This is basically schizophrenia with an ingredient of bipolar. And when that happened, it was like, What? My sister Jessie, his mother, didnt know what was wrong. He went to the hospital for two years and that saved his life. Then Jessie was, finally, correctly diagnosed herself.

With sister Jessie in 2009. Photograph: Getty Images

Close felt a duty to her family to give them a high-profile person who is not afraid to talk about it publicly. It affects the whole family. We always knew my grandmother and mother had depression my sister does, I do to a certain extent. But I didnt know my great-uncle had schizophrenia. I knew my half-uncle died by suicide. There was a lot of alcoholism addiction, self-medication. Nobody ever talked about it. I knew my grandmother was depressed, but at first I thought she lived in a hotel, not a hospital, because she always said how good the food was.

Close says she and her siblings are of one mind politically, but admits she does have members of her family who voted for Trump. I tried to understand that. Theyre not crazy people who have been brainwashed by Fox News, but I try to understand the anger, because I think that has been building up ever since Watergate. It was watching that scandal unfold that made her realise Americans have always been naive, we just take for granted what we have, and we always thought of our leaders as good people. With Watergate, people became cynical about government.

Today, she says, Washington is a bunch of self-serving She searches for an expletive and after a second settles on men. She says, Its hard to believe that people are so out for themselves. It goes against what you would like to believe about your country. I feel eloquence is incredibly important for a leader, and we had that with Barack Obama, who made his initial impact because he gave that incredibly eloquent speech, but he lost his eloquence in his presidency. We always need someone to say, I hear you, someone who can put their words into unity and hope and we dont have that. I think the last person may have been Robert Kennedy.

And now you have Trump tweeting nonsense.

Its devastating. Social networks are now like our nervous system, and if you keep pumping that kind of crap into the nervous system, it is going to have an effect on a population.

With Kevin Kline in The Big Chill. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

Close doesnt talk politics with her friends because she doesnt really have many friends. I have always forced myself into situations I am not comfortable in. I am an introvert, and I was painfully shy as a child. I think I still have a big dollop of that in my persona. I read a book called Quiet: The Power Of Introverts In A World That Cant Stop Talking and it was a real comfort to me I realised I was that person I had always been. And it was at that point I told myself to stop pushing myself into situations that I dont enjoy. I dread cocktail parties.

She tells me shes pretty reclusive and can count her closest friends on two fingers. I ask if shes still good friends with Meryl Streep.

I have never been close friends with Meryl. We have huge respect for each other, but I have only done one thing with her, The House Of The Spirits.

I apologise for assuming they were pals, being of a similar age and stature in Hollywood, and admit this negates my next question: Who would win in an arm wrestle, you or Meryl?

Close laughs. Oh, I would, because I am very strong.

***

The tightest bond Close has is with her only daughter Annie, 29. Annies father is the film producer John Starke whom Close dated for four years from 1987, but never married. Annie was never a door-slamming, difficult teenager. Close tells me: When my Annie was three, she looked at me, and said, I want you. I knew what she meant. I, at the time, was a single working parent, sometimes even when I was home, working or producing something, I was there and not there.

With daughter Annie Starke in 2010. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

She doesnt think its any easier for working mothers today and acknowledges, I had it easy because I could afford to have help think of the women who cant afford it and have to put their child in some shaky childcare centre. No, I think it is incredibly hard for women. Any person, in any profession, feels that tug [of guilt]. We discuss the intimacy of the single-parent, only-child bond. Once, I went to vacuum Annies car seat as we were moving house, and a lot of life had happened there, so I was crying. She said, Mummy, are you OK? I said, Yeah, Im OK. And she said, Here I am.

She was married to businessman James Marlas from 1984 to 1987 and then, following other relationships, including that with Starke, she married again, in 2006, to venture capitalist David Evans Shaw, divorcing him nine years later.

Would she marry again?

I dont know.

Does she think marriage is important?

I think it is a positive evolutionary component that we are better with a partner. I think to have a partner that you can go through life with, creating a history with, that you can find a comfort with, have children with there is nothing better. This is an opinion I have come to very late in life, at an ironic moment, where I dont have any of that. I dont know if I will again. But I do think its a basic human need to be connected.

Despite this, shes happy on her own right now. This is a good time in life. I do think, what would it be like to have a partner again? But it would have to be very different from what I had before. Then I have that great dream and wake up happy.

Crooked House is on Channel 5 at 9pm on 17 December.

Commenting on this piece? If you would like your comment to be considered for inclusion on Weekend magazines letters page in print, please email [email protected], including your name and address (not for publication).

Read more: https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/dec/16/glenn-close-harvey-weinstein-mental-illness-cult-fatal-attraction

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lareinedumondejeb · 7 years ago

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I rode my horse Pancanal throughout the countryside outside of Managua, Nicaragua, land of fuming volcanoes.

When I asked for advice on writing my cover letter for tenure-track job applications, I was told to address what I had done in the 16 years between receiving my Bachelor’s degree and going back to school for a Master’s in psychology. My draft letter had not done so… it was pointed out that departments want to know something about me beyond my academic records (papers published, courses taught). It was kindly not pointed out that 16 unexplained years could have been spent in prison, in a hippie commune, in a mental institution… insert anything an active imagination can come up with.

Much of my time in Spain was spent on a horse. Even when I was working as a full-time teacher, I would get up at 4:30 am on Saturday to ride out once a week. (Hipodromo de la Zarzuela, Madrid)

Unless they did some serious stalking, an admissions committee probably would not come up with the truth, so even though that paragraph about what happened in the interim felt weird, I have included it, in some form, in all my letters. It pretty much states what happened: I lived abroad for 16 years, most of them in Spain, but also in Mexico, Panama, and Nicaragua. I trained and rode race horses. I worked for an equine magazine. I taught at a bilingual British/Spanish school.

My first class, Preparatory (aka kindergarten) at St. Michael’s School (2005)

That doesn’t really mean anything… oh a reader could guess that I may know something about horses, children, and Spanish, but how much, and what that knowledge looks like, is not revealed. More importantly, much of who I am that resulted from that time abroad is only tangentially related, if at all, to these broad descriptions.

For example, my love of lieder began when I tried to play music for my horses at the track in Madrid (I was an amateur owner). The little radio I had would only play a classical station without static. Of course, I was already familiar with classical music; my parents had plenty, my grandfather loved it (I still remember his music collection), and I had played in an excellent high school band that performed, among other things, lots of Tchaikovsky, including the 1812 Overture, Wagner, Dvorak, etc. And I had already developed a certain fascination with Requiems. But I knew nothing of lieder.

At the track, I only listened. I didn’t understand the German, and my budget did not extend to purchasing CDs with lyrics in German and English. That would come later, when I had more money, and when I ran into Schubert’s Erlkönig–one of my favorites encountered on classical radio–writ into the story of Richard Power’s Time of Our Singing. I had read Power’s Goldbug Variations years before (thanks to a wonderful used book store in Madrid); it’s full of Bach, and led to my enduring addiction to the his Goldberg Variations. The Time of Our Singing happened to me much later, when I was already the mother of two small children; it revived my love of lieder and led to a huge collection of CDs.

You can go from the backstretch of a racetrack to Hugo Wolf.

I had gone to Spain with plans to stay a year and then return to the States. I wanted to do premed. I was not very forthright about this to the people in Spain. I arrived, and refused to make long-term commitments. But I ended up staying. You see, riding and training racehorses is fun. It’s challenging, physically and mentally, especially at first. During the first year, I was so exhausted (muscles work a lot harder when you are a novice) I had no time to be bored. I watched and learned. I rode with many trainers. I ended up with my own horses, my own stable, and took the starting gate test to get my amateur jockey license and the trainers’ exam to get my amateur training license. I followed vets and farriers around. I learned to perform lameness checks and identify many unsoundnesses from the saddle and from the ground, I learned to draw blood, run a line, how long it takes to drip one liter, or five. I learned to count time, and calculate whether I was going to gallop a two minute mile, or make it in 1:40. To make a few extra pesetas, I translated, magazine articles, documents such as training contracts. I made some sad attempts at writing novels. I listened to classical radio.

I read many books. And since Spanish libraries were poor, and most books were expensive, I read primarily classics. I read many of them twice. I’ve probably read every Penguin classic ever published (unless there are some that don’t get sold in Spain and except for Tom Jones. I just couldn’t finish Tom Jones.) Wordsworth classics were a bit less cheap, so I’ve probably only read 3/4 of the ones that don’t overlap with Penquin.

I’ve still got most of the classics I bought and read during my years at the racetrack (1993-1997).

Of course, I also read a lot of Spanish novels, because I could borrow them. And I have always had a language rule: If it was written in Spanish, I only read it in Spanish; if it was written in English, I only read it in English. If it was written in Portuguese, French or Italian, I prefer to read it in Spanish (that includes Kundera, who wrote in French). If it was written in German or Russian, I prefer to read it in English. Tolstoy added a lot of French in, so, just to be safe, I’ve read Anna Karenina and War and Peace** in both English and Spanish. I prefer Anna Karenina in Spanish, but War and Peace in English (with the French in French), but of course there are so many translations, that may matter more than the language per se. There are a lot of authors I’ve only read in Spanish; clearly all those who wrote in Spanish (except Garcia Marquez, since my grandparents gave me One Hundred Years of Solitude when I in my early teens), but also Proust, Houellebecq, Anais Nin, Saramago, Stendhal…

**to give credit where it is due, I had already read War and Peace (and The Magic Mountain, Narcissus and Goldmund, The Woman in White, Women in Love, and many more) at my mother’s urging, years before. My grandparents had fed me a constant drip of classics from the time I could read. I did not arrive at this point having read only Anne McCaffrey, Ursula K. le Guin, Georgette Heyer, Agatha Christie, David Eddings, and the like; but I mainly read genre fiction, particularly science fiction and fantasy.

I was an accidental scholar, those years at the racetrack, because for the most part, I could only afford classics. I read at least one book a week. Add in the fact that almost all my speaking was done in Spanish, whereas about 2/3 of my reading was done in English… I listened to classical music that was for the most part instrumental or, if vocal, in German or Latin and occasionally French or Italian; except the tangos. I listened to a lot of tangos.

This is probably not an unusual account for an American expat on a shoestring budget. One of the great things about just leaving your home country and forging your way, where no one knows much at all about you, except that you’re a Yankee, and probably stark raving mad, is that you start out with a blank slate. You learn about people from the ground up (especially at a racetrack). I had graduated from Georgetown University. It took two and a half years before the horse-owning, propertied side of my racetrack acquaintances realized I’d even gone to college (sooner or later it becomes impossible to avoid a direct question).

My first ride on Kamsia at the Hipodromo de las Americas, which was exactly two miles from our flat in Polanco (Mexico DF). I took a taxi there and jogged back every morning.

Eventually, and inevitably, I left the full-time racetrack life (although I continued to gallop whenever I could). I moved to Mexico City with my then husband; there I renewed my flute playing, watched every single film that came out in the 18 months we were there (there were seven theatres within walking distance of our flat in Polanco), visited every gallery and museum and exhibition… during this time, my friend Amy got married, and when I saw our mutual friend Stephanie there, she asked how my writing was going. Wow. For the last several years, I had forgotten to do more than keep detailed records of horse exercise and feed regimes, and my own intake of wine, films, and books.

lienzo charro de la villa

Above: a charreada in Mexico, DF.

I started writing again. I read a lot more books, because I had more money. I began to collect CDs.

In 1999 we moved to Panama and lived there for over three years. Both my sons were born there. Compared to Mexico City, there was little to do… but I made good friends and became a member of the best book club. Instead of reading the same book every month, we had a huge collection, and we read what we wanted. The rule was, you had to read at least one book each meeting, but I usually read 3-4. That was when I became very conversant with contemporary literary fiction. I’d read books I never would have considered had I not heard other members describe them in flattering–or better yet, controversial–terms.

In Panama I began to think about going back to university. I took a class at Universidad Católica Santa María La Antigua with the name of Bioethics, which I thought would mean medicine, but it really meant the environment.. The professor was Dutch. The class was in Spanish. My term paper was on Radical Ecology. I really had no idea of what radical ecology meant before that class.

I began writing novels in Panama, and I continued to do so when we moved to Nicaragua in 2002. In fact, writing was pretty much all I did in Nicaragua, other than being a mother, riding my horse, and having an expat social life. I met Enrique Bolaños, then the President of Nicaragua, but I didn’t recognize him. We had a conversation, and I walked away, and then I was told who he was and that I was an idiot (hahaha). To be fair, I am pretty sure that whoever introduced us mumbled his name 😉

I still read–but primarily nonfiction. For some reason, I do not like to read fiction when I am writing the first draft of a novel. I wrote three novels during the 15 months we were in Managua. And I had Readerville, the best online writer and reader site that ever lived and died.

In 2003, we returned to Spain, originally planning to stay about six months before moving to Bahrain. Ended up getting a divorce and staying in Spain, where I obtained a CELTA certificate, and then was hired by St. Michael’s school, where I taught 4-6 year olds for 1.5 years, and then secondary and baccalaureate for three years.

Directing a bilingual production of Evita was one of the most challenging and entertaining things I did at St. Michaels’.

Teaching at St Michael’s was fun, especially once I was moved to the older kids and given the top level students for English. My first class of second year baccalaureate students (aka seniors) was tiny but wonderful. Later classes were also great; challenging, but rewarding. Many of my students have become friends and are still in touch; I made great friends on the staff. I helped direct three musicals; I was one of three teachers who took the entire (junior year level) class to Italy.

I preferred older kids, but one of my favorite classes was a group of (secondary) first-years (equivalent to 7th grade).

I also continued writing books the entire time I was teaching. Most years, I completed nanowrimo. I read up on how to sell books (get an agent), and attempted to get an agent. I sent around 10 queries, and got discouraged. Since then, I have occasionally sent a flurry of queries. The only positive result was the response from Trafalgar Square Books, and they told me that although they loved my manuscript, it wasn’t the right thing for a newbie writer, and would I like to write another book, about myself or someone else. That’s where the Cowboy Dressage book came from, thanks to an old friendship with the Beth-Halachmys. And that wasn’t until I was in grad school.

St. Michael’s was a fantastic place to work. This was a staff party, but we also had wine for brunch when it was someone’s birthday. In Spain, the birthday person treats everyone else (to drinks, at a bar, or to breakfast, at work)

By the time I was working at St. Michael’s, I had determined to come back to the States to go to grad school… I thought probably philosophy, since that had been my hobby and passion since my senior year in high school. When my youngest finished first grade (by which time he could read and write in Spanish as well as English), we moved back to California. It was hard to go… I had a permanent contract at the school, and many good friends. But, I was bored, intellectually. I felt like I lacked mental discipline. I had things to say in philosophy, and I did not know how to say them (in a way that would result in a publication). So we moved to Arcata, CA., and I ended up doing psychology, which is not as good for discussion as philosophy is, but you can do empirical research, and statistics. I love designing studies and analyzing data (collecting it, not so much, but that’s a necessary step).

And now I am about to finish my PhD in psychology, with more experience than most, precisely because there is a hole in my cv. I have acquired, accidentally, it seems, refined tastes in music, or so they say, including a giant CD collection. I have read more than is probably good for me, and think of everything in the context of fiction. Curiously enough, I have ended up studying fiction quite fortuitously; I set out to study moral cognition (narrative moral agency in particular), and stumbled upon my advisor’s short description on the OU psych department page: it had morality and fiction in the same tiny paragraph, and I thought, hmm, that sounds interesting.

Many many times I have wanted to say (and I have sometimes said it) that fiction has expressed a concept far better, many times. That Tolstoy and Trollope and DH Lawrence could tell you more about what motivates human behavior than any textbook or research article. That awe can be found listening to Brahms Requiem. That teaching preschool is an excellent way to learn developmental psychology. That racing horses shows you that time perception is relative. That language shapes thought, just try doing philosophy in another language (so yeah, I’ve got an answer to that question).

Sometimes I am astounded by the ignorance of educated–if by this we mean, PhD–people when it comes to literature, history, and music. Of course, they have spent their time in other ways. But this ignorance is often combined with a disdain for the popular–genre fiction, music–and distrust of the rural–horses, ranches, racetracks. And that’s interesting indeed.

Sometimes there is a lot going on in a gap decade and a half.

coda:

It’s been over eight years since we returned to the states. I have not yet reached the point where I will have lived half of my adult life in the USA. Arcata was wonderful (I could see the Pacific from my back porch and had redwoods in my yard), and Norman has been a good place to live, but I really miss living abroad. I miss capital cities. I miss diversity of language, skin, culture, thought. I miss culture, public transport, and the smell of an underground train in steam coming up through a grate on a cold day. It’s been great this semester, hanging out with others at the Institute for the Study of Human Flourishing, not least because we are a diversity of discipline, thought, language, and culture (but mainly because we talk philosophy).

I had a phone interview (that didn’t progress to more) with St. John’s University (Queens). The main question seemed to be, could I live in NYC? And my hesitation about the position was undoubtedly evident, but it wasn’t because I couldn’t live in the city (besides, both Belmont and Aqueduct are within 6 miles of the university). Oh there are downsides (where could I keep a horse?) but… oh the culture! When I was in Boston last May, I wanted to wallow in it, in trains and sidewalks and people and the anonymity of the city. I can adapt anywhere, but there is more in a city.

For many reasons, I would like to stay in the States, but I do miss life as an expat, and ever since last November, I have been contemplating the possibility of relocating. Perhaps not permanently, not yet, but at least for a few years.

In my fairy tale life, I would live in a horse ranch, in the country, but close enough to a major university to be on the faculty–conduct research with a light teaching load. AND I would have enough money to fly to Paris, Madrid, Vienna, Mexico City, anywhere I wished, whenever I had the time. But that’s an unlikely scenario. Right now, I’d settle for a nice post doc someplace outside of the Bible Belt.

such is life, per Goethe and Schubert:

but also, perhaps:

That gap in my cv When I asked for advice on writing my cover letter for tenure-track job applications, I was told to address what I had done in the 16 years between receiving my Bachelor's degree and going back to school for a Master's in psychology.

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