#so now that shes an adult she doesnt really feel like shes ready for the role

[alteredsilicone]

Viri has always been a sort of silly-billy OC and her role is mostly to cause chaos, but then I have to sit down and think: ok, if we are looking at her genuine personality, what is she like?

She's easy going and charismatic and gets along with people - her biggest strength is that she reads people well and uses that to mediate arguments and conflicts. Her more playful and empathetic nature also makes her good with dealing with kids.

Her bad habit, however, is that she is too eager to save people who don't want to save themselves. She will exhaust all options to assist someone who won't even say "thank you", or worse, actively reject her.

This stems from the fact that, despite all the love her father had for her, Viri was raised with the expectations that one day she would become an Archimedean, which meant loyalty to the Empire and being under the scrutinizing eye of the Orokin. From a young age her father spent his hard earned money to get her the best tutors - Viri was by no means a prodigy, but Amadeus believed that she had the potential (going against all the academic assessment of her daughters possible future? a tinge of anti-Empire sentiment?). Did Viri believe herself? She didn't have to - she had to do what she was told. She just had to believe.

Her charisma is an extension of people-pleasing: if you spend your entire childhood impressing the elites, it ends up being your most valuable skill. This is why she charms the Corpus so much - wannabe Orokin with an easily bruised ego, who both hate and revere the Tenno and what they stand for.

Now that she is her own person, Viri realizes that she never wanted to be an Archimedean. She feels like she wasted her childhood assisting her father in his lab when she could be out playing. This is why the Drifter is so childish - she clings to the charades of Duviri because she wants to reclaim the childhood she lost.

[cajunfoxnight]

Hi really interested in this reconstruct Au!! Do you have more information about the story?

Oh Anon.. I hope you are ready for the can of worms you have just opened 😬

I should warn you tho, I am not the best at telling a story, and im worse at explaining one. However I also want to share this AU as its been something ive been working on for 8+ years, and while it is mostly a self indulgent Monster AU, full of stereotypical troupes and cliches, its also very important to me. I made this AU when I was not in a good place mentally and was using it as a way to cope with and express the feelings I was having at the time. Its changed a lot and truth be told its actually 2 story lines that combine to become 1 down the line. But for the sake of this ask, I will focus on talking about the Reconstruct backstory.

Anyway if youre still interested in what the story is about, then please continue reading! I will do my best to try not to babble too much but.. its going to happen anyway 😅

TW: So I should probably start off with mentioning that this AU does contain emotional and physical abuse, manipulation, and mention of body mutilation. Not that im going to go into the details of that here but thats just me covering my own ass :v At the point the story is at now, Gladion is much older than he is in the games/manga/anime. His actual age isnt fully known as the theme with this AU deals with time and interdimensional travel, so its hard to keep track of, but he appears to be in his early 20s. But for all intents and purposes he is an adult.

✨The story ✨ So the Reconstruct AU is something of a "bad ending" storyline.

So this story follows that of the canon for the beginning. Mohn disappeared when he fell through an Ultra Space worm hole that was opened, and his whereabouts are unknown. Lusamine still went into her crazy and Ultra Beast obsessed self, only concerned with youth, beauty, and keeping things as under her control as much as she can. Gladion steals TYPE:NULL and Lillie taking Nebby and running away. Lillie going to live with Kukui and Gladion joining Team Skull as their enforcer.

In this timeline, Lusamine, in her desperate need to have control of everything around her, decides that she will create her "perfect world" where she will surround herself with all of the things that she loves. A place where everything will be kept exactly the way she wants them, preserved for all of time, and where she wont ever be alone again. However she knows that she can not do this on her own, but knows who can. Someone younger, stronger, and already has knowledge about the UBs and Aether. Now the hard part is getting him to join her, but she has a plan for that.

Lusamine gets in contact with Guzma (as in this story he still "works" for her) and with the help of some choice words, a good sob story, and probably a fat check, she's able to convince him that she has changed and she wants help from him to convince Gladion of these things as well. Being that he and Gladion are so close, and obviously he trusts him so much, it shouldnt be hard for him to talk some sense into him, right? She does an amazing job at getting Guzma on her side, having him think that Gladion is just being a bratty, rebellious, edgy teen. After all, he comes from some nice rich family, could have anything he wants, and yet still chose to ran away, how bad could it have possibly been? Does he even realize how bad some of these kids have it? How badly HE had it?? So generally he thinks that Gladion is just over reacting/being dramatic. He doesnt know how good he's had it, obviously!

Guzma sets up this whole "ambush". He has Gladion come back to the shady house, getting him inside and cornering him in his room, where he is confronted by Lusamine. She puts on this big show of being the sorry mother just wanting her son back, going on about how she's changed and she didnt mean to do all of those horrible things and so on and so on. All she wants is them to be a family again, like they used to be, is that really so much to ask for? Gladion is already seeing right through this, he knows all of this is bs, but he cant seem to get anyone on his side. After all, the members of Team Skull never really liked him anyway and were only going along with it bc Guzma said so. Now with Guzma against him, he has no real back up. He cant fight back and he cant even escape. Despite his stubborn nature, he still cant overcome the hold his mother has on him after all those years. She very much has him between a rock and a hard place. So not having any other option, he is forced to go back home with her.

Once back home, Gladion's life is turned upside down as Lusamine does everything she can to keep him on a short leash. All freedom that he had is now gone, and he is constantly watched and monitored, its suffocating. Much like before, he's told how to dress, how to act, what to eat and how much, he cant even so much as get near a computer or phone without someone questioning him. He cant even bring out any of his pokemon bc Lusamine has deemed most of them "too dangerous" to have out all under the pretense of doing it for his safety. The only pokemon he's able to have around him is his Umbreon, and even then, she's given a electric collar that keeps her within the property of the house, so no chance of her running off in the middle of the night or anything. While Lusamine insists that shes not keeping him there against his will, she assures him that he's allowed to leave whenever he'd like. Tho she also warns him that if he leaves, then Lillie will be taking his place. She will not be left with an empty nest. Truth be told Lillie probably would have been the easier choice between the two, she also knows that Gladion would do anything to keep her safe. So using her as leverage is how she keeps control over Gladion.

One day Lusamine casually brings up about the "Reconstruct Project" to Gladion (keeping its details very vague), mentioning its something he could help her with, as she thinks he would be interested, He shuts it down saying that he wants no part of whatever she's doing. Lusamine doesnt prese the issue, only expressing disappointment that he wont even consider her offer, but she wont force him. Rather she doesnt want to force him as she wants him to join her willingly. (Even if "willingly" means she'll force his hand) She needs him for this Project. Gladion may be stubborn, but she is so much worse.

After their initial conversation, things only got a lot worse. While he had few freedoms since all of this has started, those are gone now. He becomes cut off from his Pokemon, from the outside, he hardly has a moment of peace where he doesnt feel like he's being questioned or ordered to do something. He really is like a prisoner in his own home (well, a place he once called that). His sanity is being chipped away at, and it comes down to 2 options. -He can either join onto this Reconstruct project, whatever it is. Not knowing what fate could await him or what Lusamine as planned, but at least he'd have a chance at having some sense of a life back and limited freedom.. -Or he can live the rest of his life as Lusamine's puppet, having no freedom or will of his own (<-which is also another story of its own). His life will practically be on auto pilot, forever chained to Aether but never having a say in anything.

It takes some time but eventually Gladion does break, and asks to join the Reconstruct Project, even tho he still has no idea what it is, but anything is better than the life he is living now.

Lusamine is absolutely delighted by this news! And almost instantly, life then turns around for Gladion. He finally is given back some freedom, if not more than what he had before. He is able to move around his home without question. He gets to eat more and better than he did before, putting on some much needed muscle. He's even getting a chance to walk around outside and around the property without having some kind of chaperone. Lusamine even invites him to join her at Aether to over see some projects that they are working on as well as helping with pokemon there. She lets him join her in outings in town, taking him to eat and so on. She's essentially love bombing him, and he hesitantly accepts. All the while this is going on, he still does not know what this Reconstruct Project is bc he cant seem to find any information on it, like it almost doesnt even exist. Whenever he asks about it, Lusamine either skirts around the question or tells him that then only thing he should be concerned about is being in his best physical condition as possible. She assures him that it'll all be worth it, and shes going to give him what he's always wanted: To be stronger. But in order to that, he's going to need some "upgrades. None of this does well to ease any concerns or fears he has, but he's already gotten this far, and he doesnt want to risk going to how things were before so.. whatever it is, he's in it for better or worse. Gladion undergoes a very extensive surgery, with about 80% of his body being "Reconstructed" (hence the name) from the ground up. Its some time later that he wakes up from a induced coma and when he does the reality of what has happened to him is made clear. He is no longer human, or rather, not completely. His body a patch worked mess, a terrible jigsaw amalgamation of human and (shiny) Silvally. Lusamine delivered on her promise to make him stronger, even if she left out the finer details of it.. So that is the Reconstruct story line, or the start of it anyway. From here the story follows along with Gladion changing his name to "Reconstruct" as he has convinced himself that who he once was is no longer him. That part of him died long before it got to this point. His job is that of a glorified errand boy and protector of Aether. He mostly travels through Ultra Space and to different worlds/time to gather up UBs for Lusamine so that she can create her "perfect world". He travels through the worm holes with the aid of an altered Dusk Mane Solgaleo who has been fitted with pieces of Necrozma Armor, that acts a lot like NULL's inhibitor helmet. While its an odd life and something he would have never imagined for himself. He is still very much tied to Aether, at least in this way he has some sense of purpose and freedom. Tho in his time of traveling he has seen much, including other versions of himself (Gladion) living out lives that he knows he could never have, being with people that he cared about, knowing that he cant ever go back to how things were. He's very lonely, bitter, and jaded at the world and others. He's closed off, quick to anger, and untrusting of others. His only real reason to keep going despite everything thats happened is bc of Lillie, as knowing that at least this way he can still protect her. He is content enough to live the rest of his life like this. Even if he has to do it alone. Trying not to think about what might happened when he finishes his mission.. but, well, life certainly has a way of surprising you. And that is the story! I admit that I am going to be very surprised to know if anyone actually read all of this, but if you did please know you have my many thanks and my apologies 😅

[hellion-child]

im gunna say it. i really like claudette! shes a badass who is damn good at her job, vanessa estelle williams is gorgeous, shes a good antagonist for may and im soo disappointed we didnt get more of her. going into her tag and seeing the majority of the posts are misogynistic insults about her is also disappointing

dispatch needed something new. may needed a new story line to allow her to grow as a character, as a young adult. im not saying claudette was a perfect person who did nothing wrong, no one in this show is (thats kind of a Thing w the show yknow)

claudette is a proud, confident women that takes no shit, her skill as a dispatcher is unparalleled (it is so satisfying to watch her handle a call), shes always ready to crack a joke and is not here to coddle or hand hold ppl (that arent callers, obvi lol). this is established in her intro scene. she is a bulldozer when coming up to may. they are a clash of personalities! thats the point!! may is comfortable in her job, now she has to learn to navigate something most of us adults w jobs have to: a coworker that u do not get along w. claudette is not the adult version of the girl that bullied may— theres more nuance than that.

claudettes arrival has may feeling intimidated (claudettes skill, confidence and ease in herself as well as the teams awe of her), attacked (the uniform joke that may mistook as personal), excluded (the history claudette shares w the team and in-jokes), and belittled (the joke about hiring foetuses). may starts off wrongfooted and its downhill from there. im not saying this is all on may and that claudette did no wrong, my point is they clash and why

i could yap on and on but its dinnertime. both of their pride is a problem and they both could learn from each other and i wish the time had been taken for this to genuinely happen!

can we have some space to enjoy the nuance of these wonderfully flawed characters (again, on the Wonderfully Flawed Characters Show), instead of just blindly hating anyone that doesnt fawn over ur favs??

[matoitech]

don't recall if you ever elaborated but how long do blue's relationships usually last

ooo good question i dont think i have! id say typically as an average (so there were many that were shorter) prooobably a few months for actual committed relationships, anything casual can range longer bcuz there isn’t as many expectations for him lol. he’s not very good at committing or being there for people emotionally (or physically, hes gone a lot w his job) he’s not rly empathetic and he can get rly stuck in his head and self obsessed. he leans more towards casual relationships bcuz hes self aware enough to realize his behavior and wants in general w relationships r not conducive for healthy committed relationships but hes fighting thru a lot of conflicting instincts in them and it tends to bring up a lot of shit w his background or his own problems he doesnt want to deal with (and it inevitably blows up in his face)

his longest 'it went for at least a couple years without a breakup' relationship was with his bands original bassist but they were really young when they dated like, late teens, very early twenties, somewhere around there. she was his first relationship and a lot of shit happened though and he broke up w her and it kinda turned him off from serious relationships. im keeping it vague not only for spoilers but bcuz i know what kind of route i want to take with it but im not sure how implied vs very obvious i want to go with it yet

his longest relationship Now as an adult solidly in his 20s is probably his and elle’s on-again off-again thing, i dunno the exact timeline for the longest they’ve been together before they broke up again but id assume probably smth like six months to a year (a year feels like its stretching it but ill be generous), though they’ve had their Thing going on for a few years at least at this point though. on again off again yknow. theyve had months to maybe even a year in between seeing each other sometimes. but that’s not the norm for him bcuz when they get back together he does actually want to try to some extent, however long that feeling of wanting to make more of an effort lasts before they both get frustrated again lol

anyway hes like capable of longer lasting relationships just him or the other person/people didnt want it to/werent rly ready for it to get serious, or he makes bad decisions and he also makes bad decisions in who he chooses to date sometimes where they just dont Work and no amount of forcing it is gonna make it happen. or he loses interest in ppl or the relationship quickly.or he thinks damn i just wanted to have a fwb or something actually but now i got myself into this whole relationship and i dont actually want to date them. he also just isnt a very good communicator so to him smth that wasnt supposed to be serious can feel a lot more serious to whatever person/people he was with and he gets himself into shit for it, or vice versa bcuz other ppl r often not good communicators too, etc etc. so in tldr: USUALLY NOT VERY LONG. LOL

[princess-ibri]

Are there any delight ideas of how you would interpret the Hades and Persephone Myth in Hercules?

I kinda like to know on how or what version would you go for on how Zag and Mel's Parents met.

Also, have you ever heard of Another Offspring who's supposedly Hades' Daughter that was once mentioned in "Suda" who's called "Macaria"? She's different from Melinoe who is said to be the Goddess of Blessed Death and even a Concert towards Thanatos.

I know that the original idea for the Hercules tv show was to have had Hades and Demeter be exs and Persephone was their kid in a custody battle which would have been a clever way to work around the kidnap aspect, but I'm kinda glad they didn't do that cuz it does leave room for my own interpretation x)

I could 100% see Disney Hades kidnapping Persephone but Disney Zeus wouldn't back up that claim he's too nice a guy, he'd much more likely help Demeter stomp on Hades.

So I think maybe how I'd do it is take a page from some modern interpretations were they reorient the myth to be about how a girl has to break from her mother to become a woman and Persephone chooses to go with/stay with Hades.

So in my hypothetical Hercules TV show episode:

Persephone is tired of Demeter kinda of helicopter parenting her even though she's basically an adult god now, and just wants to get out from under her wing for a while.

She happens one day to see Hades busting his way out from the Underworld on route to do some evil shenanigans (or possibly just getting back from some and getting a flat chariot wheel or something this is Disney Hercules x) and in a fit of pique she sneaks into the back of his chariot and so gets taken back to the Underworld.

Hades is less then thrilled to find her there, especially since her whole pastel flower motif really clashes with his doom and gloom decor, and tries his best to scare her away but Persephone actually finds the Underworld incredibly interesting and slowly her appreciation for his loathsome domain starts to wear Hades down--And it doesnt hurt that she is definitely very pretty x).

Cue Hades vehemently denying he's growing feelings for this little flower power goddess possibly with a dark parody of "I Wont Say I'm in Love" where Pain and Pain get repeatedly blasted.

Meanwhile Demeter is frantic looking for Persephone and the world is starting to freeze over because she's not doing her godly duties. So Hercules of course volunteers to try and help find Persephone. And eventually they run into Hecate, who seeing an opportunity to make trouble for Hades and possibly nap his job, tells them that Hades has taken Persephone down to the Underworld.

Technically true but told in a way that makes it seem all the worse for Hades who for once has done nothing wrong and sends Demeter spiraling as she thinks about what horrors her poor baby could be going through.

Meanwhile Hades and Persephone are dancing to a dark parody of Beauty and the Beast badly sung by Pain and Panic or something.

Well Hercules once more heads down to the Underworld to rescue Persephone while Demeter goes to Mount Olympus to get Zeus to flashfry Hades. But when he gets there he sees that Persephone and Hades actually seem happy together and wonders if there's been a misunderstanding, manages to sneak over and talks with Persephone and lets her know whats been happening above ground with everyone freezing since Demeter's been looking for her.

Persephone realizes she'll have to go back and tells this to Hades, who of course is more then ready to let the whole world freeze as that just doubles his property values but Persephone pulls her Demeter voice on him and he hastily agrees she should probably let her mom know she's fine.

And at that point Hermes shows up to let them know anybody who's not already dead should probably clear out as Zeus is getting ready to basically nuke the Underworld to make Demeter happy to save the Earth from freezing( and the gods from starving to death when there's no more sacrifices)

Hades of course freaks out about that and Persephone not wanting her new found love to get burned to a crisp hastily demands/Demeter voices Hermes into marrying them. Hades is both flattered and confused but figures hey they're all about to die anyway and he'd rather die married then a bachelor-- so he promptly strong arms Herc into be the witness and Pain and Panic are the ring-bearer/ flower girl--so now none of them can run away either.

Hermes does so in the quickest ceremony possible which they top off with pomegrante martinis and then Persephone tells him to fly up and tell everyone she's married to Hades so she 's tied to the Underworld now and they fry her as well if they continue the attack --oh also Hercules is here too.

(Imagine all this time Zeus has been having Hephestus super charge his like, mega lightning bolt or something)

So the attack is quickly called off, and once they get the all clear, the impromptu wedding party heads up to the surface and tells her mother that if she promises to unfreeze everything then she'll come and stay with her for the summer so she wont be alone.

Demeter agrees, smites Hades with a literally frosty brush off when he tries to make a "mumsy-in-law" comment, but Persephone gives him a kiss which thaws him out and Happy Ending

(They'll definitely need couples councling later on and by the time he's taking over Olympus they're on their way to geting a divorce but hey that's life sometimes :/ )

***

And yes I have heard of Macaria! If this was my own Greek Myth retelling I would have included her but since I was going off of what Disney has I decided to only use Melinoe as Disney Hades only has two mentioned kids and "Mel" sounded closest to "Mal" for the Descendants reference

[cospple]

Fuckin Cospple Mpreg Fic

TWs: Workplace harrassment, mild violence, mention of pills (painkillers), mention of a shitty childhood (COSTCOS PARENTS NEED TO GO INTO THE SOUP), pregnancy discussion, vomit mention(doesnt go into detail!!!)

Wordcount: 1,406

Author note: i can't believe i actually wrote this.

According to all known laws of biology, there is no way Costco should be able to get pregnant.

His body does not physically have the capabilities to get pregnant.

The writer, of course, writes Costco mpreg anyways. Because the writer doesn’t care about the laws of nature.

~

[20XX. Years after Costco and Apple got together, they’re both adults now and happily dating.]

“Honeyyy,” Costco announced in a sing-songy voice, yawning from their bed, he’d just woken up. Apple was already up and cooking, the early riser she is. “I feel.. Sick. Can you grab me some pain meds?”

Apple ducked into their room, hair in a ponytail and signature overalls. She hasn’t changed a bit.

“Jeez, do I gotta do everything for you or what costs?” A stupid nickname ended her sentence. It still made Costco melt every time he heard it. She was teasing ofcourse, as she quickly returned with pills and a sip of water, handing them to her partner.

As he took the pills he felt something urch in his stomach and he flew out of bed and to the toilet.

Heaved over the porcelain throne he— i think I’m gonna skip writing this part. You guys understand. He vommied.

A little under an hour later, Costco is tucked into bed with a trash can near his bed and a heat pad on his lap, Apple sitting by his side quietly.

“Well, shit.” Apple mumbled, staring and the third and fourth positive pregnancy tests in her hand. And they weren’t hers.

They had both called in sick from work, but that was the least of Apple's worries. She excused herself and said she needed to make a call, as Apple stepped out of the room Costco grumbled in agreement.

What really confused Apple is that they hadn’t.. done anything to get either pregnant. And Apple certainly didn’t have the hardware to get someone pregnant! Costco doesn’t have the hardware to get pregnant! What the fuck all around! So her boyfriend is curled over in their bed, with APPLES emergency heating pad and vomit bucket when her periods get bad. She sighed and scheduled a doctor's visit on her phone.

~

It’s been a few days. Costco Costco Costco is still grappling with the side effects of being.. pregnant? dying? having the black plague? Atleast today they should finally find out what’s wrong with him. Apple is driving them to the doctors office. Costco is curled over and whimpering.

He wasn’t prepared for how bad this hurt. His stomach hurt, his head hurt. It felt like he was being stabbed in his.. everywhere. All the time.

Most of all he was confused. How did this happen? It’s not like he was sleeping around. And even if he was.. To put it plainly he shouldn’t have a uterus.

Finally. He crawled out of the car and Apple walked beside him. They entered the office and what felt like hours later got checked in and into the room with the doctor. The only thing keeping him from exploding was some sassy girl named Kate arguing with him. He found that fun in a way. Once they got inti the office, Costco was in entirely too much pain to talk right now, plus the internalized toxic masculinity within him would never let him say the words ‘i think i’m pregnant.’

Apple spoke up after a few minutes of small talk.

“I know it sounds insane, doctor. But we’re worried my boyfriend is pregnant? And that shouldn't be possible seeing he has NO genitalia that should allow him to do this. We took many pregnancy tests, all were positive. We just needed to see you.” As Apple rambled the doctor noted things down and before he knew it Costco was getting ready for an ultra sound. Not only was this emasculating, the thought that having a baby didn't exactly scare Costco was.. Terrifying.

Don't get me wrong, he does NOT want to be pregnant. Giving birth sounds HORRIFYING. But.. Raising a child? Naming them, raising them.. That sounded alright?? That's what scared him. Growing up, Costco’s family was interested in two things: Getting rich, and getting more children to help them get rich. His sisters were basically matched up as soon as they turned eighteen and Costco was only spared cause his parents were ashamed of him.

This whole, live to breed breed to live mindset was what Costco was getting away from his whole life. He wanted nothing if not to be.. Not like his parents. Apple and him had talked when they got more serious, neither of them were interested in children. At least back then.

The one thing he was scared of. Being like his parents. Was what he was doing. THAT it what was scary about this whole thing for Costc–

“You’re.. Pregnant.” The doctor mumbled, dumbfoundedly. “WHAT?!-” rang out from Apple and Costco in sync.

“That,” the doctor pointed at the ultrasound screen. “Is clearly a child. Somehow. I.. Would you like to know the gender?”

~

A few hours after Costco and Apple made the discovery. Apple is calling her boss for maternity leave.

Apple presses the call button tentatively. Ring. Ring. Ring.

“Yeelllllow. Kayden Matteson here whatcha need sweetheart.” Kayden coughed out, already sounding three bottles too deep

His voice got on Apples nerves so badly, he sounds like he hasn’t showered in a month.

“Hi! Mr Matteson, i was wondering if we could discuss some paid time off? I’m having some personal issues and i know Matteson Farming has maternity leave–”

“OH Appleeee. iiii am actually not available for business talk right now. Schedule a meeting if its that importantuhhh.”

“Oh- alright? Does tommorow work? We can meet over lunch i guess.”

“Sounds good dolllll meet me at noon. Panera’s restaurant.”

GOD does she hate him. Always drunk, always hitting on coworkers, always insulting other coworkers. Rot in hell Cayden. She hangs up.

When tommorow at noon comes, Apple gets ready, says farewell to Costco and is off. The farmer and the ceo make small talk for awhile and then Apple brings up the question of time off.

“What? No. Apple you know we’re having a hard time right now. You can work from home but that's it.” He announced, shaking his head.

“I know, but my partner and i–” As Apple rushed to get a word in she was rudely interrupted

“You’re always on about that partner, blah blah blah. You know you'd be cuter if you jusr shut up and smiled more, right?”

“I really don't appreciate that comment, Mr Matteson. Can we continue discussing time off?”

“Yeaahhh no. I’m the boss, deal with it pretty lady. Work from home.”

“Don’t call me pretty lady, please.”

“Make me, pretty lady.”

“Sir, this really isn't appropriate.”

Cayden moved his hand to hold hers and she flinched away.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Did i hit a nerve, darling?”

Smack. And then Apple stood up. And Cayden stayed sitting. With a dazed look on his face– aswell as a hand print.

“This is bull. I quit.”

~

Apple comes home, drops her keys on the counter and breathes a sigh of relief. Home.

Costco ducks out of their room and gently hugs her.

“Apple, love. Can we talk?”

Apple nods. She's had a hard day but she’ll be in the grave before she discourages communication.

“Course. What do you need?” They both sit on the couch and Costco takes a deep breathe.

“Okay. So. I know before we talked about not wanting kids. And it's fine if you still don't. But.. Thinking about raising this kid. With you. Makes me feel warm inside.. Fuzzy. A feeling that, for an alpha like me, used to be unfamiliar. I’m terrified of giving birth, but i want to experience this with you if you're ready.”

It took Apple a few seconds to process that.

“i haven't really thought about actually keeping this child. I.. I never really had feelings about children. If i end up having children, you're the one i want to do it with Costs. I’ll have to think about it. If this is something you really want, ill make sure to give it time and effort.” She took a deep breath out and waited for a response. Costco simply wrapped his arms around her.

This is new, and scary, and hard and scary for both of them. But they're gonna stay together. Through it all.

~

[lexa-griffins]

In farm clexa at what age do Lexa and Clarke talk to their kids about their miscarriage is it more in-depth when their teens or is it more of a filtered down version? Yup, I went there with the angst.

When it happens, Clarke is really the one to tell the kids the baby that was inside Lexa's tummy isn't there anymore and they don't elaborate much more for a good few years.

The first time they ever talk about the miscarriage since it happened with the kids in a way of explaining it is with Madi. She's 15 and just had a pregnancy scare so they find it's probably best to tell her about it almost as a reality check. She was 9 so she does remember it the best and while Lexa isnt graphic when explaining what she felt during that time and Clarke does water down the more medical details a bit, its enough for Madi to get the picture of what her moms went through, the pain Lexa went through and why a pregnancy at her age, having the baby or not, would be life changing.

Aden is around 17 when he asks about the extra tree growing. He knows his moms plant one for each kid but there is one between his and his twin siblings. Of course he wasn't there when it happened, but he does want to know about it and Lexa and Clarke decide he deserves to know what happened too. Its more watered down than the talk Madi got, but unlike when she talked about it with Madi, Lexa does break down, realizing fully that while the other kids in a way met the baby when Lexa was pregnant, Aden never even got to know the baby existed.

The other three kids are already adults when they talk about the miscarriage again.

Saige is pregnant when she asks Lexa about it and Lexa tells her she doesnt want to talk about it while Saige is expecting her little girl but Saige insists she wants to know. She's heard everything Lexa had to say about the joghs and lows of her own pregnancies but she wants to know about the baby her mom lost. If anything happens, Saige wants to be ready for it. All she remembers is that for a few months Lexa shit down completely. Of course given how sensitive Saige usually is and much more with the pregnancy hormones she breaks down crying about the baby and the pain her mommy must have gone through. Clarke only catches half of the conversation but is sobbing too.

Skie and his wife have an unfortunate miscarriage too with their second baby. It was much earlier than Lexa's but that doesnt make the pain any less. Skie and Willow were both so small when it happened, only two years old, they barely remember it happened. And to be honest, Lexa and Skie's wife dont particularly get along but the talk Lexa has with her and Skie about her own lost, Clarke right by her side nodding along and her feelings mirroing the ones their son feels right now does strenght that bond a little.

Willow.... Willow never knows the details. Perhaps because they dont want to or because they remember Lexa's face when she came back from that first therapy session, the pain in her moms' face that never fully left their mind ever since they were little. Lexa never blames them for not wanting to know. Overall, Willow is the one who grows up to be more like Lexa. Closed off and guarded with their feelings. Never really sure if touching certain wounds is for the best. So, they prefer to never know, not even when Clarke offers to be the one to tell them. Its not until they are old and both Clarkr and Lexa have passed that they ask their siblings to tell them about it, and they are actually the one who get all the different pieces of info about it that their moms told their kids over the years.

[syrupspinner]

i just defeated Hunie Pop

it was a gift

wow this game is SO racist. like, i went in suspecting the female objectification but god damn this game has a weird relationship with race. any girl who isnt white has a line of unique gifts exclusively tailored to their race, except for lola, but she makes up for it by having some of her favorite gifts be a basketball and a watermelon. i guess audrey and jessie are pretty stereotypical white trash, but that doesnt really help the games case

the worst part is im actually kinda into the gameplay. who the hell cant get behind match-3? well, i cant when the recognition system is too slow to recognize my matches. ive had moments where a red circle falls on three vertical red circles, and it just doesnt count as a 4-line. bejeweled managed that in 2001, thats just negligent

its not just a vacuum though, theres also the dating sim and management gameplay! you can buy gifts for all the girls to give you honey, which you can spend on a limited amount of stat upgrades and nothing else. i have 40,000 hunie i literally cant spend. anyway, theres a memorization aspect that actually does a good job at encouraging you to interact with the characters as more than boobs with a smile (as long as the facts are actually character building like their favorite season or their college major, and not literally their boobs).

i think the loop of building stats for the dates and building your relationships with the girls is actually pretty solid. until it stalls out, at least. im in the endgame now, doing nothing but killing time to build relationships with the unlockable characters (yes, all of them at once, that stupid bag of fish just wouldnt spawn until the midgame) and it really makes this games flaws shine. i have more hunie than i could ever spend, money is pretty useless since all i can meaningfully spend it on is food (more chances to talk with girls and earn hunie) booze (makes talking to girls give you more hunie) and gifts (just gives you hunie), so all im doing is fucking around wasting time until momo decides shes ready for another date.

by the way, can we stop with the whole 'born sexy yesterday' thing? momo says shes 1 year old in cat-years or something, but its fine because shes technically an adult (if she even says that much...?). its a total turn-off to try and seduce a girl who doesnt even know where shes from and can barely pronounce alcohol. who wants to feel like such a predatory creep? dont answer that

the game is lame. maybe id get more out of it if i like, understood the appeal of porn games? so like, if im horny, im not gonna fuck around playing bejeweled with my dick in my hand, im just gonna watch real porn. and if im not horny, the whole game is just

audrey im trying to keep my combo going put your shirt back on

the point is that i dont recommend this game. it tries to be an arcade puzzler that cheaps out on the mechanics, a dating sim with paper-thin caricatures, a management game where you run out of ways to meaningfully spend both currencies by the third hour of gameplay, and a sex game where... okay i dont really know what makes a good sex game but i still didnt have fun

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

once again thinking about a version of the story where 13 lands in sheffield three years earlier when ryan and yaz are still sixteen and a whole lot angrier

13 turning out a bit more immature bc she spends her first twenty-four hours after regenerating with these reactive and kinda fucked up kids. ryan dealing with grace and graham recently getting married or getting ready to get married. probably feeling abandoned by his grandmother after his mother and father. feeling alone with his grief. maybe kinda just has tibo to confide in. yaz meanwhile is in hell getting bullied and either recently got driven home from a running away attempt and is now dealing with the familial aftermath of that, or is planning the running away. maybe kiiiiiiinda just has sonya to confide in but probably not really. probably doesnt confide in anyone

13, still malleable and fluid, running into these messed up teenagers who reflect all her own lonely angry betrayed abandoned feelings back to her, shaping herself in response to them. they dont trust her at all to start with, but i think she'd win yaz over in a similar way she does in canon, presenting herself as an authority who listens and understands. perhaps slightly more the understanding than authority part at this point in yaz's life. maybe she lands in front of yaz actually in the hills before anita can get there. yaz is like "where the fuck did you come from" and shes like "um the troposphere i think" and yaz is like "how are you not dead" and shes like "oh i was! but then i decided maybe i shouldnt be. so. now im here :) with you!" and that kinda strikes a chord with yaz. and then the doctor's like "do you happen to have a sandwich in that backpack im starving"

then aliens happen and once they run into ryan, yaz is already won over and she and ryan recognise each other and she convinces him that, like, no shes not nuts, theres definitely aliens shes seen them

11x1 would go entirely differently obviously. maybe grace wouldnt die and graham wouldnt travel. ryan maybe decides to travel a little bit out of spite and home doesnt really feel like home, and yaz isnt having fun at home or at school either and she was running away anyway so this is not a hard decision

the emotional instability and bad decision counter of a team tardis thats just 16-year-old yaz and ryan and 13 is kind of amazing to imagine. it'd be so volatile but they'd love each other so much i think they'd be the best friends bc instead of starting off closing herself off from grief, 13 would start off having her justified and irrational anger sort of validated and coaxed out i think by yaz's and ryan's. in the tardis between the three of them there would be a place to express "nobody cares about me" whether thats true isnt the point, i think theyre all feeling it a little bit. "everyone just moved on like mum didnt matter/'tell an adult' like what are they gonna do?/okay it wasnt all their faults but all my friends are dead" you know? i think they'd be heard with each other and i think there'd be space for the injustice of it all and especially as the doctor is like a children's advocate most of all, she would take ryan and yaz seriously in a way i think they wouldnt have been by any other adult in their lives at that point. and in return they, just by being there as they are, would make room for the hurt child that 13 is and will turn out to be

and i dont have details for this but i think it would be really nice if the way 13 listens and takes seriously yaz and ryan in the first season (not like consciously or deliberately or anything, shes not trying to Do anything, this is just who the doctor is) would be mirrored in the second and/or the third when they have calmed down a bit, dealt with some of their issues at home, talked to some family members, become a little less depressed and angry etc, and they return the way she treated them when she finds out abt the timeless child and tecteun. she took their anger seriously and she took them seriously when they said "this isnt fair" and in return they can take her anger seriously, probably are angry on her behalf, and they can stop her from overcorrecting from like being 10 by pointing out to her that this isnt fair and shes allowed to be angry abt it

and when yaz inevitably gets a crush i think it shows up as a kind of out of character/seemingly regressive prickliness and snappiness toward the doctor getting more intense over the course of s12 that ryan and the doctor first are puzzled by bc like sure in the first half of s11 maybe they were all a bit snappish with each other but theyve been friends for like a year now whats this about all of a sudden? and yaz is like Nothing!!!! it's nothing!!! piss of!!! bc shes having feelings she doesnt know what to do with or how to interpret so theyre just manifesting as Angery. that same need to prove herself + probably worry abt the doctor as in canon except a lot more combative and a lot less inhibited. shes probably picking fights abt everything the doctor tells her to do. trying to provoke the doctor into actually getting mad and yelling at her or, god forbid, grabbing her, shoving her, using her hands bc yaz wont listen to words. sometimes youre 17 and horny and you dont understand you want one of your two friends in the world to kiss you bc it hasnt occurred to you that girls kissing girls is a thing that can happen. ryan figures it out first

in this version ryan probably stays until the end too - or the same as in revolution happens and yaz feels betrayed that he'd give up on the doctor so easily and feels alone in the entire world again - graham and dan wouldnt come into the picture. ryan's and yaz's family would come into the picture a little more actively. theres a lot of plot to figure out that i cant and it would be a very different era in many ways but i think it would be nice

[cryptic-science]

LONG VENT POST. BE WARNED.

i need help. i need help cleaning my room. i do. and ive been so fucking afraid to admit that but i fucking need someone to hold my hand and be gentle with me through the process.

but no, i cant. i cant ask for help, especially not from the person i want help from the most. i cant ask because im not a little kid anymore. i cant have someone hold my hand through everything. thats not how life fucking works. im almost 19. im an adult. i should have the fucking responsibility to keep my bedroom clean.

when was the last time it was actually properly clean ? it must have been what, like, 2018 ? 2019 ? fuck. Fuck. four ? five ? fucking years. almost six, really. jesus christ.

even if she did say yes, even if i could ask her in the first place...you know she wouldnt be gentle. you know she would yell and get annoyed and force you to get rid of things you arent ready to. and youd feel trapped, and scared, and oh so fucking ashamed and guilty. and youd cry and cry and cry and cry. youd sob and youd beg, just like the little girl you are.

she doesnt ask much of you. she never has. you know this. everyone knows this. you never really had to do chores as a kid. not properly anyway. right now, all she wants you to do is get a job and clean your room.

why is this still so hard for you ?she got you what you needed right ? she got you the anti-depressants. she got you the adhd meds. she got you the autism diagnosis. so why are you still like this ? the meds are working, arent they ? why are you still Wrong ? what else could you possibly fucking need ??

all you do is take. and take. and take. you are so fucking selfish. why arent you fixed yet ? why cant you get off your ass and clean your fucking room ? why cant you get off your ass and get a fucking job ? why do you still lack the motivation ?

you are lazy. you are lazy. you are lazy.

how can you live like this ? there is garbage piled next to your bed. there are molding cups on your dresser. there are both carpet and larder beetles squirming through your things.

you have too much shit. you get too attached. maybe you are a hoarder.

you are disgusting. you are filthy.

your hygiene doesnt help either. you changed today but when was the last time those clothes were washed ? when was the last time you showered ? when was the last time you brushed your teeth ? you are vile. you are filth.

she yells because she loves you. she yells because she loves you. she yells because she loves you.

shes been through so fucking much. you know this. everyone knows this. you could have had it so much worse.

she is not the villain. she is human. you realized she was human a long time ago. shes doing her best with what she knows.

would it be easier if you moved out ? you are too scared to do that. maybe, itd be easier to clean your room, though. she doesnt want you to leave either. you know that despite the times shes threatened to kick you out. shes too scared for you to go too. you cant live with her forever. you know this. she does to. shes said that phrase to you many times. you are too scared to leave. you cant handle change. its safe here. youve been here for so long. its familiar. its close to most of the important places you need to go. it took you such a long time to be able to memorize the paths in order to get to them. you cant drive. everything is perfect here. its safe. its safe. its safe.

the pear tree was cut down. it was planted long before you ever lived there. part of you thinks that maybe its a sign. you arent too sure for what, though.

you are trying not to cry. you dont want to cry. especially not right now.

she says she doesnt think you are a disappointment, but how can that be true when all youve done, your whole entire life, is dissapoint her ? you have failed at every expectation and want she had, and still has, for you.

you were born this strange and rotten thing.

but she still loves you.

and you love her too.

you need a job. you should be using this time to look for a job. you are scared. you need to stop putting it off. you need to stop lying whenever she asks if youve been looking. youve applied to a few places but, you only got hired once. and you quit after a day and a half. it was Too Much for you. you were scared and your body hurt and the job was too fast-paced and it was all so fucking overwhelming. so you ran from it. you gave up.

because you are a coward.

you can count on one hand the amount of interviews youve actually gotten.

why is this so hard for you ? why must there be so fucking much wrong with you ?

just do something, please. anything. any job you can get your hands on. you need it.

why arent you doing it ? why ??

you want to be better. you want so fucking badly to be better, in so fucking many ways.

you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better.

i want to learn how to be better.

i dont know how to be better.

i dont know where to start.

i dont know.

help.

[sassykinzonline]

just gonna fill this up at this point(I’ll stop if u need me to lol) anyways. Ok so, Sakura right, if for amazing reasons, boruto didn’t exist, would you see Sakura being with anyone else? Or would she still be with Sasuke(in another universe) Another one, thoughts on Naruto being the villain in shippuden(or however u spell it I can’t spell) ? Like he would either take your place, or villain duo or smt, so like technically him leaving the village and stuff. On another note, if you were to pick from the children in boruto to mentor/teach that wasn’t boruto, would there be anyone else? Or would you still choose him? Is that boruto in general sucks..Like they did Naruto’s hair so wrong in many ways man😪

dont stop - megan thee stallion

if sakura actually wanted to be happy she would get with lee or just some other guy who cares about her, respects her, but also forces her to be more positive and less shallow. thats entirely dependent on whether or not she wants to let go of that obsession or not though. some people never do.

i am really into "evil" naruto AUs but i wonder how his relationship with kurama would go in that case? if the naruto manga was written by someone else, and naruto had a better mentor, i think the idea that naruto would also desert the village after being disillusioned a lot more. from what i know, one of the reasons he was so ready to travel was because he didnt feel at home in konoha anymore without yours truly. if someone else had gotten to naruto before jiraiya and that person was as manipulative as orochimaru or more loyal to naruto than any village, i think he wouldve straight up deserted. i read an AU where nagato picks him up off the street and treats him like a son, and thats kind of what im envisioning. theres a reality in which that also couldve happened if nagato fought harder to maintain his leadership in the akatsuki instead of letting obito call the shots. but i dont think its necessarily the better choice for him to "go bad". its just a "what if" kind of scenario?

uh....if everything in boruto is exactly as it is right now and i had to choose to join the universe...i would probably still pick boruto because its the only way naruto and i can stay connected in perpetuity. boruto would end up being the proof of our bond. i also do kind of understand boruto's issue so because i relate to him a bit, i think he just needs a good older figure to "hold his hand" so to speak. that being said, if there was no baggage and i could just pick any of the kids, i would pick inojin or cho cho. inojin because his skillset is really interesting but he doesnt seem to have the same innate analytical talents as his parents, so that needs to be fostered. cho cho because i like her attitude, she kind of reminds me of how i feel about ino as an adult.

[cutegirlmayra]

Kairi game = discovering what princess she is

Plot idea:

Land of Departure -

Aqua, after some months of training, believes Kairi is ready to go out and explore the worlds.

Kairi is unsure the point in all this, since Sora has already restored and connected so many worlds, but Aqua reveals that in her time, there were even more. She tells her to look at the stars, there are many more worlds out there that havent been touched.

Putting a hand on her shoulder, she gives her encouragement, and Kairi agrees willingly, but still feels a bit aimless.

Worlds and lessons:

1. Brother Bear - at first, agrees to find the bear, but after the spirits give her the ability to talk to animals, she realizes the situation and holds off Kenai's brother until the truth is revealed, and saves Kenai's brother from fully turning into a heartless.(A true disney princess can communicate with animals lol but this journey is for her to discover how strong she really has become, being able to do this herself, and learning that love is one way to grow stronger and become an adult.)

2. Dumbo - gets caught in the storm when the tent is coming up, sees dumbo and Timothy drunk flying into a tree. She flies up, and they realize Dumbo can use his ears to fly, but hes scared. The crows give him the feather, and Timothy convinces Kairi to come to Dumbos first show. Kairi goes to save dumbo, and tells him his heart is what makes him fly, helping Timothy to get the feather later but dumbo flies to save her from a circus heartless. After that, he doesnt need the feather, but reveals hes seen Kairi's good luck charm. Kairi says Sora is like her 'Feather', but hes always in her heart, even when hes away. (She begins to miss Sora again but sees her potential as a Keyblade wielder, she no longer doubts her own growing strength) <dumbo doesnt speak, Timothy does for him>

3. Lady and the Tramp - helps Lady escape heartless and Tramp saves her from dogs in deadend. Finds Lady and Tramp later trying to sneak away from the dogcatcher at the zoo, and helps take Lady's muzzle off. She watches them eat together and looks up to the sky with stars in her eyes. (She wishes to share more memorable moments with Sora, hints of romance and pining.) <dogs barely speak to Kairi, it's a short introduction>

4. Pocahontas - meets Grandmother Willow and gains the ability to speak to many and all languages by 'Listen with your heart, you will understand', then is taught the compass of her heart will guide her on her destined path. Kairi is a bit jaded by fate, worried her fate was so changed that it hurt Sora and possibly other worlds. Grandmother Willow encourages her to continue what Sora started, and unlock worlds to save and restore them. Follow the connection of those both to Sora, and make new connections for Sora as well, from the friends she now makes. She helps fight in the war and helps Pocahontas to stop it. (Renewed spirit, a direction and sense of where to go and what to do.)

5. Treasure Planet - is convinced of black and white, villain and hero, before realizing that there is light in all things, and how much Jim sees John Silver as his mentor and friend... it breaks her heart, but she can't save Silver from turning into a heartless, defeating him, helping restore his heart, and watching him sacrifice himself so they can all escape. (Hearts are not pure light or darkness, and one can choose light and darkness. A heart can be redeemed)

7. Moana - her gummi ship transforms by help of the new technology from Chip and Dale, fights Kakamora, then finds Moana grabbing the heart back from the ocean. Helps her restore the heart after fighting the heartless verison of Te Fiti, Te Ka, and is determined to help Sora by returning his own heart... she feels ready now. (Reestablishes that she holds Sora's heart)

8. Finding Nemo - while in the dentist office, being told to take a seat for her appointment and being confused, Kairi overhears the fish talking about their escape plan. She turns around and admits she can help, which scares them at first that she can understand them. Minigames ensue with the fish tank and she helps them escape... hearing about Nemo's father and his unrelenting quest to find his son, she is once again touched and renewed that she will not quit her search for Sora... she believes in Riku, and again, with all her heart, wishes for both their safe returns, hoping he found Sora.

9. Jungle Book - hears Shere Khan's planning and before he reached the 'Man Cub', goes to fight him. He is determined to stop this 'Man Cub' from leaving the jungle... alive. She fights him but he gets away and so she fights the heartless Kaa. She overhears then the conversation between Baloo and Bagheera, and realizes she must return where she belongs... who exactly is she? She knows shes a princess of heart but... she decides to find out more about her past, telling Sora's heart she feels that's right to do, but she wont abandon her main quest.

10. Hollow Bastion - Some recompleted members of the old organization 13 remember Kairi's royal family, descendant of an ancient Keyblade lineage, and lived in the castle here, where the research was also conducted. She learns about the mysterious girl that Lea and Isa had known, and wonders... apparently, they reveal her father was from another world! (Hint that Kairi is possibly a Final Fantasy princess, and not a disney one!)

10. Wrought by the wrong done to her, but also glad she met Sora, she sees a terrible fire on a world and lands there. Meeting Bambi and his friends, she wonders why Bambi can keep fighting the fire and dog heartless while so injured. Hes searching for Faline, who hes twitterpatted for. She helps fight a hunter heartless and sees Bambi reunite with his true love. She decides then that although her destiny was altered, and she was taken from her family, she gained a new life, new friends, and now... a joined destiny with Sora. Bambi also recognizes her wayfinder, and she tells him shes twitterpatted for Sora. First time admitting it outloud, but it makes Bambi happy and prance around. Bad things happen, but love will always be a strong enough reason to continue on.

11. Frozen 2 - finds Christof, who trusts her once she confirms shes friends with Sora, and searches for Anna. Finds her after she loses Olaf, helps her lure the earth golems/giants to destroy the dam, and helps the angered, heartless spirits calm down when Elsa was frozen solid. When she returns, Kairi slowly steps away... she will do the next right thing, and gain her Mark of Mastery... then go to save Sora, or at least... find any way she can. No matter the darkness, she will do the next right thing.

12. Lion King 2 - Learns about love, how it casts no shadows and darkness cant remain in a heart filled with the power of love. Fights to end the lion war, and save Simba. She also tries to help Kiara save Zira... she then learns that some choose darkness, and refuse to be saved. Not that they cant be, but that they wont be... No matter how seeped in darkness one's heart is... light is always a choice, no matter what. Simba tells her he knows Sora, and that she reminds him a lot of Sora'a strength too. It encourages her to believe shes finally ready to take on her Master and be considered a keyblade master as well.

Land of Departure -

Kairi returns, talks about what shes learned and how Dumbo, Bambi, Simba, and Christof all recognized her as Sora's friend. She wonders if Sora's heart was sensed by them... the light it carries, and the connection they share as friends. Aqua shakes her head, saying it may be the case, but it's probably Kairi's own heart that formed those bonds of friendships with them. Shes saved so many worlds, reminded others of Sora's connection to them, and made it even stronger.

Not just that, Kairi has found her own strength and conviction in the process.

Last final boss, Master Aqua.

Kairi becomes a master, goes to the Nameless Star, and is finally ready to help Riku and find Sora, too!

Is she... a secret princess of Quadratum?

[nix-rose]

growing up

sorta rant, i just dont know who else to tell.

tw: de@th, being alone, dating, stuff like that

Its always happening but in the last few years its really caught up to me. Im an adult, no longer in highschool i have this huge fear of my younger siblings forgetting how we have so much fun together, of someday my grandparents and parents are going to leave, to an amazing place but I'll still be here. And what if something horrible were to happen and the last thing i said to someone was something mean or uncaring. I end every phone conversation or text to a family member or close friend with an i love you because of that fear.

Im currently on a vacation with my siblings and parents and were staying with our grandparents. My grandma doesnt approve of our lifestyle and how my mom chose to homeschool my sibling and i so i feel like i have to always be happy because otherwise my grandma will say something like "oh, you poor thing." and guilt my mom about how she still kinda tells me what to do.

I have an amazing relationship with both of my parents and I love them so much, so when my mom asks me to do stuff I have no problem helping out. she raised me and my siblings all these years, its the least i can do. but my grandmother doesnt see it that way and always brings up how "You're an adult, you dont have to listen to what she says-" which pisses me off to no end, she doesnt understand how much i enjoy helping of course there are times that i dont feel like doing something but if i say anything about it my gma will start going on about how im an adult and i shouldnt have to listen to my mom still. it feels like an endkess cycle and i feel like i cant cry in front of anyone anymore because otherwise its "you poor thing" and i dont want fucking pity i just miss people i can talk to with out feeling judged.

now onto a different subject, dating. Im not going to lie, Ive never had a first kiss, never had a boyfriend, im very very social but I havent clicked with anyone. I get so worried that I'm not going to find a guy whos sweet and caring and likes me. I feel like I'm ready to commit but these guys I've met either ghost me or just straight up ignore my texts for days at a time. I see so many people getting in to relationships and i just wish i could have that.

Anyways, if anyone does read this hi, welcome to my mess of life and enjoy your stay.

[bishiglomper]

I need to rant

But omfg. The niece. The niece is going to finally drive us off the deep end.

She wants to keep the baby if it belongs to current, 3 week old boyfriend.

He's got priors, went to jail for something drug related I think. And he's on the registry. Which we dont even get to know the situation because niece refuses to ask.

Now so far as a person, I dont have any bad feelings about him. He's nice and polite, he can function, he can read, unlike her fiance.. He says he can cook. Has expressed sentiments like getting niece new shoes because hers are falling apart. No sign of anger issues yet like the last 2. I think she said hes got like 2 kids out there

And i dont know what color flag this is, but he once told the niece he chopped off his beloved hair to see her reaction. He wanted her to blow up but she was just like "its your body." Then she reiterated that she expected the same respect. Like if she got a piercing he may disagree with. Shes still gonna do it.

Who knows where pregnancy stands on that line.

Oh and by the way, she still hasnt even said "i love you" back yet. But she'll have his child??

But this bitch is in no fucking means ready for a child.

She's a good caretaker, I would trust her to babysit for a few hours just fine but thats it.

For one, she neglected her rats to death.

She told me with no shame that she absolutely doesnt touch a litterbox, and that she starved her cat.

The woman doesnt even take care of herself. She barely eats and she keeps losing weight. Shes like 5"2 and in childrens jeans. And even though she kept passing out and was told ahe has super low B12, she refused too take suppliments. Even if i handed them directly to her.

If that keeps up shes just going to end up having a miscarriage or a premie with medical problems.

And i dont know what smoking weed during pregnancy does. But its worth looking into.

She does have her own apartment, but does she stay there? No. Only when she has someone over to do things together.

My sister and her son already sleep on the floor in the living room. Niece sleeps on the chaise

You think we have room to help raise a baby, even if we wanted to? Hell to the fuckin no.

Speaking if which. I can already see the dynamic that will be

She'll want us to watch the baby while she continues to work at applebees, where she'll be stuck forever now instead of getting back to college eventually. But she'll have strong weird opinions on how shes going to raise her child.

i just know shes going to be like her bff and teach her toddler to say "mommys a bitch!"

Because i was thinking if there were a smaller child around we could probably get nephew to cut it out. But nah, she would encourage it because its funny.

By the way, we're hiding this from the nephew. It was almost ww3. Sissy doesnt want him to know. And niece is offended because its her brother, he can understsnd the concept of abortion and ahw doesnt like to keep things from him.

Also not telling the aunt. Niece doesn't give a fuck and may do so out of spite

We still havent recovered that relationship enough to have dinner together. And aunt said something like "since (mom) isn't saving your souls, I'm going to have to do it"

So if she finds out, its just going to get really, really annoying. And drive more wedge between us all.

Niece asked her mom if she was gonna be mad at her if she kept it. Sissy told me she was mad either way. There will be no winning.

My mother and sister are being way super gentle and calm about it all to her. She does not deserve it. She needs to sit there like an adult and listen to our concerns before she makes a decision just because it's current boyfriend's DNA in there. She never wanted her own children. And if she wants to suddenly play adult, she needs to make some adult fucking decisions.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Tw sibling abuse

I am an (assistant) teacher at a preschool and there is a little girl, whos always had awful anxiety and selective mutism. Last year i worked in her classroom and she really seemed to like and trust me, and I was 100% ready to drop anything to make sure shes comfortable and feeling safe

My coworker just learned that the girl has a really shitty older brother who does stereotypical shitty abusive older brother things, and the parents "care", but not enough to give him consequences or stop the behavior or tell her anything other than to ignore it

It makes so much sense now why she is as amxious as she is, and also makes sense why I felt so inclined to protect her and was so worried someone was hurting her

My older sibling was abusive too, to an extent that still affects me a lot as an adult. Its killing me to know that such an innocent and vulnerable kid is going through the same thing. Of course, there is absolutely nothing I can do about any of this

Im just angry and sad and worried. My brain keeps wondering how bad it actually is- what happens behind closed doors? I guess i tend to project my trauma but im just so scared theres more physicsl violence than we think, or even SA, like my sibling did.

Any advice on how to cope? I don't work with her anymore so this isnt even my business but its stuck in my mind and i cant stop worrying about if shes going to be safe as she grows up. I know realistically, the answer is no. The world isnt safe for kids, and shes already much much more vulnerable than other kids her age. Its awful and I just want her to be okay. I also just want to stop thinking about this

i feel like a bad person for being so invested in a family that doesnt even know my name but i need her to be okay

hi there anon,

It sounds like you're getting triggered by this little girl's situation. That makes sense, taking into account your own experiences. Being around kids as a childhood abuse survivor can be so difficult and emotionally taxing.

You're definitely not a bad person for being invested in this. It makes so much sense, and you are not wrong for how you feel or what you think. Give yourself some compassion and kindness right now.

Remind yourself that there is nothing you can do in this situation. You are not a bad person for not being able to know everything about her situation and helping her. Your presence in her life when you did work with her was probably positively impactful on her.

Some coping skills:

Journaling: It can help to vent and just let everything out, unfiltered.

Meditation & Grounding: Here and here are some grounding exercises. Here, here, and here are some guided meditation exercises as well.

Breathing exercises

Affirmative self-talk. Be kind to yourself. Remind yourself that you are safe. Let yourself grieve your own childhood.

Mod Misa

[chunghasgirlfriend]

hahahaha the girl i like totally doesnt like me and i was in fact just very delusional!!! im not upset at all hahahahahaahhahaha

jokes aside im just a lil disappointed. i mean i still dont know her that well so it wasnt like i was in love with her bc i dont really know her that well but i just asked her on a date and she said no thanks. its chill (maybe idk) tho i was right i lost to fictional men :|

tho i mean im also kinda relieved. i didnt really wanna date a girl skinner than me and i wanted a tall gf so maybe her rejecting me is a good thing .

but also a part of me is relieved bc i thought about actually going out to find some girls to flirt with and talk to. and even tho between me and my crush, i thought that for a second in case she liked me I would feel so bad that i would openly move on. but also liking my crush, was limiting my options and im grown. i want to date someone

and looking back this is such a non issue for me to worry about. why am i considering her feelings towards me meeting other women? i dont owe her any loyalty so why was i so hesitant on trying to meet other women?

well now that THATS out of the way, I think im genuinely excited to meet queer women who will actually be into me and thats gotten me really excited.

im still kinda upset she rejected me, but i also think it set me free bc now i can actually go on and explore without having this crush hold me back. i only asked her on a date bc my friends convinced me and they told me that would i rather get it over with now or wait months down the line and feel even shittier? so i took my chances.

but now, im ready to finally start a chapter of my life. and while i still wish it contains her bc she is a really good friend to me, i think a part of me doesn't mind if she decides to not be part of my world anymore. Id be sad ofc but also ive met so many people and i will meet so many more, i think ive grown enough to sense that i'll be okay when shes not here with me. i have a pretty good amount of people who care for me and i have people who will check on me. I will be okay. I know it.

Im gonna be honest, idk if i felt this security before or maybe i was better used to it when i was younger. but now that im an adult, i think i can really feel it when my friends make an effort despite how busy we all are. and the people I've met have been nothing but great. idk if i'll still be their friends decades from now, but the fact that theyre here beside me is enough for me. and i feel loved.

so here's to a new chapter to me. maybe i'll be the whore ive always wanted to be and have a roster. idk i think im just excited to be grown, its been 19 years in the making