#so now i’m in the plane waiting to fly squeezing a beanie baby ball lol
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had a panic attack at the airport 🤪🤪🤪
#actually it started before the airport but i had to go catch a flight so i just ignored it#and then it didn’t go away so like 20 min before boarding i called my therapist and she calmed me down#and since there was no pharmacy in the boarding section of the airport and i forgot my calming meds at home like an idiot#i instead bought a beanie baby ball cause i needed something to squeeze#so now i’m in the plane waiting to fly squeezing a beanie baby ball lol#hate panic attacks so much cause i always believe 100% that i’m going to die#like i’ve calmed down now and yet i still tected my parents/friends saying i love you etc#not in a way that indicated i had the panic attack cause i don’t want them to worry but still#just a ‘boarded my plane i love you!’#and yet i had never done that when flying alone before#i’m not usually scared of planes and even now i’m still not#what i’m always always afraid of is having a heart attack#even though i have no heart or related diseases and no precedent in my family#except for like my grandpa when he was very old#idk man i just feel like it’s how i’ll die#and i started having a panic attack because i felt like i was gonna have one now#and having to fly today made it worse cause like if i have a heart attack in the middle of a flight there’s no much one can do to help#but whatever i know i won’t have one#and the flight is only 2.5 hours long#so if by the time i get there i still feel this way i’ll ask my parents to take me to the hospital to do heart exams#i’ve been to the hospital because of that before and it was nothing but it eased my mind so much#anyway… i won’t die but if it’s been like a week since i posted this and nothing more i love yall ppl on my phone#my post#i won’t die though. i’ll prob come back here in like 3 hours#okay turning off phone now
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