#so now he’s extremely self conscious about his aggression and how he reacts to things | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fallout-snippets · 4 years ago

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Fallout 4 companions (+Rhys, Haylen, Sturges, the faction leaders, and the nuka-gang leaders) react to Sole riding in on a horse, and ordering them not to go near it, and when/if the companions disregard this order (maybe they only met Sole just recently and haven’t learned that Sole only gives orders for the sake of other people’s safety), they end up getting kicked/bitten/crushed between the horse’s butt and a wall, and Sole informs them that this is exactly why they told them to stay back?

Cait reacts just as quickly as the horse and quickly jumps back before its hooves connect. She still falls backwards and yells. Gets huffy with Sole and thinks they should’ve told her it was an aggressive animal that attacks just by being approached.

Codsworth raises one of his arms and shouts “Why, you!” at the horse, quickly hurrying off to find a mirror of some kind so he can see if his chassi got dented. Apologizes to Sole for not listening to them but hates the horse.

Curie is completely dazed and in shock, staying on the ground for a moment to collect herself. Thinks the horse is magnificent and patiently asks Sole for instructions on how to properly conduct herself around it.

Danse is 100% embarrassed and hopes no one but Sole saw it and that Sole has the good heart never to mention it again. He very cordially apologizes and never approaches the horse again, even when Sole says it’s okay.

Deacon knows about horses and how scared they are for its size and it’s only really by pure accident and aligning of stars that the horse backs into him ass first. Jokes it off, asks if Sole trained it to do that. Makes sure never to end up behind it again.

Dogmeat tries to greet the new, large and funny-looking dog but quickly ducks away from its stomping hooves and hides. Only when Sole introduces them to each other slowly and properly do they begin to get along.

Hancock is humble and knows it’s his own fault for not listening. No hard feelings. Lets Sole know he’s sorry for ignoring their command and that he’ll be more careful from now on. Also makes sure the horse knows it wont happen again or there’ll be a big potluck where everyone’s invited.

MacCready pretends it didn’t happen. He gets up, dusts himself off and makes sure Sole knows he’ll listen to them from now on but if this never gets mentioned it again it’ll be too soon. Keeps a good distance from the horse.

Nick can only blame himself, he remembers horses from before and how easily spooked they are. Has some experience with them and ends up making friends with the animal, despite their rocky start. Doesn’t apologize for not listening but takes responsibility for his own actions.

Piper, like Danse, is extremely embarrassed. Like Cait, she also confronts Sole saying how they could’ve warned her the horse was dangerous. Eventually calms down and enjoys riding along with Sole across the wasteland, takes some care of it herself.

Preston praises Sole for having such control over an animal that large and aggressive. Apologizes for not listening and takes time to learn how to approach and care for the horse himself so it’s not a burden Sole has to carry alone.

Strong is about to kick the horse right back when Sole screams at him to stand down. Gets scolded for not listening but thinks it’s bullshit. Bides his time for his revenge on the four legged motherfucker who got away with attacking him.

X6-88 would never disregard a direct order but somehow he ends up behind it and the hind legs connect with his chest and force him flying backwards. Acts like it was just a tumble and not a straight kick in his rib cage. Has him out of breath and sore for days but his composure never falters. Sole did tell him not to approach and he is the only one to blame.

Ada, like Strong, wants revenge but stands down when Sole tells her to calm down. She still spends a lot of time fantasizing about ways to hurt the horse right back.

Longfellow loves animals and feels kinda self-conscious that the horse didn’t immediately take to him, even if horses are almost mythical and unknown in his time. Doesn’t know not to scare horses and he ends up getting thrown around a bit before he gets the hang of it. Knows Sole means business when they say something but eh, you gotta try yourself forward sometimes.

Gage already didn’t trust the thing and this only makes it worse. Tries from time to time to convince Sole to just dump the thing somewhere or for them to cook and eat it. Thinks that even if Sole warned him not to get close that the horse is an unnecessary addition to the party.

Rhys gets mad at the horse, probably out of embarrassment. Agitates it enough that someone has to calm down the horse and someone else has to calm down Rhys. Calls it “yet another wasteland abomination”.

Haylen is also furiously embarrassed (brotherhood peeps got a lot of pride to hurt) but is more apologetic. Asks for information on how to approach it to save face but plans on never going near it again.

Sturges tries to be as gentle as possible but if the horse reacts by biting him after he approaches slowly and with his hands outstretched towards it in good faith then it’s not a friend he plans to make. Doesn’t dislike the horse, it’s just an animal that reacted like an animal, but keeps a deliberate distance. Will still make sure it’s taken proper care of if he has to, no animal has to suffer just because it has instincts.

Father somehow manages to turn it into a lesson about how mankind and the surface world has dwindled into disrepair. Doesn’t take accountability for his own actions, thinks the horse is a lesser animal and shouldn’t be allowed to react that way.

Maxson knows how to be diplomatic and manages to smooth over the fact that he ignored Soles order. Studies the horse to see if it can be utilized for the Brotherhoods benefit but eventually scraps the idea. Definitely romanticizes the old war image of war generals riding into battle on a horse with a bayonet raised high but the cost and the cons outweigh the pros. Like X6-88 he never lets it show that his ribs are severely bruised.

Desdemona just sighs and throws her hands in the air. Yeah, okay. That’s a horse. It doesn’t have to be her problem, she has enough as it is.

Mason definitely tries to mount the horse in some kind of alpha display but immediately gets tossed off a good few metres. Would try more times before getting violent to show the horse who’s boss but Sole probably sets him in his place, either by scolding him or threatening him. Considers the horse a personal challenge.

Nisha plans a slow death for the animal that reeks of shit and dust. Will absolutely kill the horse if it’s left unattended and pretend it was either not her or an accident. Doesn’t care that she was warned, things like that just don’t go by unretaliated.

Mags doesn’t want to go near it all since it’s such a filthy animal but when Sole tells her not to she gets curious. Considers it a lesson learned and to not take Soles word lightly.

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missblissy · 5 years ago

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What if Alastor had a s/o who was deaf? 🤔

((WHEEZE. COUGHS. VIBRATES UNCONTROLLABLY. I’m living for this, okay?? This is my shit. I’m obsessed. Thank you anon. U have blessed me. THIS GOT REALLY LONG AAAAAAA. i did not mean for this to happen. There is a link down in the story that is underlined that will send you to a song you guys might want to listen to when you get to that part of the HCs. :)) Trust me... You guys are gonna want to listen to that song, I don’t want to spoil it so!! Just trust me!! You’ll like it!! If you cant find the link down there.. HERE IT IS TOO~~!! ENJOY!!!!!!! ))

((They/Them))

At first, he thought you were just ignoring him. You caught his eye standing pretty at the bar. A new resident? Oh, how exciting! He simply had to introduce himself to you. You were already quite attentive to him, falling into almost category of his type.

But when he approached and said, “Why, hello there!” And when you didn’t react, respond, or turn to face him, Alastor was a little shocked to be so blatantly ignored. His smile seemed more forced as another handful of seconds past by. That was until Husk chuckled from the other side of the bar, “You’re an idiot” he told the Radio Demon while cleaning a whiskey glass.

“Excuse me?” Alastor gave a wide eye blink with a never-fading smile. You had finally noticed someone standing behind you, only because you saw Husk’s lips move. You turned around and noticed the menacing presence of Alastor. It was hard to see, but you noticed the twitch of irritation at his brow. “They’re deaf, dumb ass.” Husk explained, seeing as he already knew you a little bit.

Ah. Well then. Alastor wasn’t sure how to respond so he just kept smiling while his eyes flicker between you and Husk. Lucky for you, you could read lips pretty well but for the most part, you depended on sign language as your preferred method of communication. You knew your voice sounded off, clumsy and slurred if you tried to speak, seeing as you couldn’t d hear yourself. You were very self-conscious about the way you sounded for a deaf person.

And yet this started the steady slow-building friendship between you and Alastor. He kept his distance for the longest time. You always felt his eyes on you though. He’d watch you sign to others. Husk knew a lot of sign language so you spent a large part of your time at the bar talking to him. Over time, as Alastor watched you from afar, he studied every hand motion, every sign and every little mannerism there was to know about you. You weren’t sure how to feel about him. The two of you never actually talked or communicated in any way shape or form. You couldn’t lie though, there was just something about him that you were drawn into, and it was hard to keep him out of your thoughts.

Weeks went by where you’d pass each other in the hallway and wave, smile, and sometimes Alastor would give you a nod of his head. He stilled watch you all the time, and he never hid it. You’d look at him from across the room and meet his gaze, then turn back and focus on whatever Charlie was saying. Five minutes would pass then you’d dash your gaze back over and see Alastor’s eyes still glued to you.

One day you were sitting by yourself at the bar. You were nose deep in a book that you couldn’t get enough off. Suddenly someone tapped on your shoulder. It took you by surprise so you let out a little and startled yelp. It was Alastor standing behind you with a smile that seemed too large for his face. His eyes had a low reddish glow to them and you could feel the static electricity wave off him in shallow pulses similar to a heartbeat. Your senses were heightened. He smelled like wild roses and what you could only assume was death. The air around him was freezing cold and extremely still.

Suddenly he gave you a formal bow. One of his hands laid across his chest while the other stretched behind him. He ducked his head down and stayed like that for a few seconds. Then he stood tall again and to your surprise, he signed “Hello,” and you watched his lips move as he said it too. Little did you know that he had kept his distance for so long because he was learning how to communicate with you. Over the weeks, he was drawn to you. The way you dressed, laughed, hummed and genuinely sought out redemption. You signed back “Hi,” while Alastor went on to say, “Our first introduction didn’t really go very well. I didn’t know you were deaf. So I’m sorry if I seemed rude,” His grin was forever wide and smeared across his face, lips moving to each word, though you couldn’t tell if he spoke them out loud or whispered them to himself. ((He was talking allowed, which caused Husk to grow irritated enough to leave the bar to restock it full of more liquor.

You signed back with a smile “I didn’t know you could use sign language,” You mouthed each word, but not a sound came from you until a soft little giggle escaped your lips. It made his dead heart twitch to life. It was almost enough to make HIM blush. The two of you instantly hit it of right there.

From that day on, Alastor was never far from you. He lingered here and near. You could always tell when he was around even if you couldn’t see him. Alastor gave off this very unique pulsing wave of electricity into the air, but not nearly enough people noticed this. When you asked Charlie if she’d ever felt it before, she had no idea what you were talking about. Angel said he felt something like that before but didn’t put it together that it may have been Alastor.

It became commonplace for Alastor to keep you company whenever he had a moment to spar. He’d ask you a lot of questions, things about yourself, your life and afterlife. He wanted to get to know you.

One day Alastor brought you into a large empty theater in the back of the Hotel. It was filled with rows and rows rotting tables with broken chairs. But a piano stood alone on the stage. He held his arm out and walk you between the rows of tables and chairs and down to the stage. You kept asking him what was going on or what he had planned, but he only smiled and told you to just wait and see.

The piano was sleek and clean. Alastor closed the lid of the grand piano and freed the keyboard from its cover. He didn’t ask or wait a second to lift you up from bridal style and place you on top of the piano. He signed, “You should lay on down for this, trust me.”

You did as told. You laid down on your back with your eyes fixed up at the rafters above the stage. While you did that, Alastor sat down in front of Piano and got ready to express himself in a way that he had not done in decades.

Suddenly you felt the vibrations of the key strings of the piano being struck at the rate of a thousand full. You’ve never felt anything like this before. You sat up enough to spin around and face Alastor. His quick fingers paused for a second or two. He wore a smile and his eyes were closed. You stared at him when suddenly his fingers smashed the keys and a loud thunderous wave of vibrations and static washed over you. The song he played was fast and you could feel every note course through your bones. There were so many emotions in this song and even though you couldn’t hear it, you could feel it.

You’ve never had the chance to experience music. It was something that always fell on dead ears. If you could have anything in the world, it would be the chance to just hear one song. It didn’t even have to be a good one. And somehow Alastor was making this possible in a way you never thought of. As he raced one, smashing key after key with such speed and aggression you couldn’t even focus on his hands. You could feel every high and low note, every note that was pressed with force or delicacy. Alastor finally started to slow down when his eyes flashed open but as soon as he did that he slammed down on the keys again and proved you wrong. He went faster and faster, staring at you the entire time with a glowing grin and flashing red eyes that somehow flicker their own light that matched the speed of his song.

The song had finally come to an end and you were moved in a way that made you emotional. Alastor leaned on an elbow while resting his cheek in his hand. You saw him mouth the word, “So?” He was asking what you thought about his little ‘surprise.’ It was amazing. It was something you had never experienced before, and that song... it was hypnotizing, intoxicating and a high you wanted to feel again if that was even possible. You first signed “That was amazing!” then signed “Thank you!” Over and over again. You felt little tears prick your eyes but they never fell.

You nearly fell off the piano while throwing your arms around Alastor. He stiffened the second you touch him, but relaxed and let you hug him. As you lingered there you did your best to pass air through your lungs and voice out, “Thank you, Al,” So that’s what your voice sounded like? There was no stopping it now. He simply adored it while finding himself liking you more and more. Alastor returned your hug and found himself getting lost in it, and not wanting to let go.

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piyoduki · 4 years ago

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Hinata and Kamukura

(wow what a creative title)

Just a place for me to dump my thoughts on these two, and why they are so important to each other... This is another really long essay analysis thingy.

Spoiler warning for... everything. :p

1. Reserve Course

Hinata is an ordinary guy who loved and admired Hope’s Peak Academy. He loves talent, and wishes he could attain a talent and become someone recognised by society.

Hinata always calls himself normal, and says there’s nothing noteworthy about him. But unlike Naegi, Hinata was not satisfied with being normal. Hinata was obsessed with talent, because he believed he needed one to become someone he could be proud of, to be acknowledged by others. That was why he wanted to enter Hope’s Peak Academy so much.

(Horror game protagonist?)

DR’s society is one that puts talented individuals, the best of the best, above everyone else. SDR2 and DR3 give us a look at just how the other people in this world, the ones who were not chosen by Hope’s Peak Academy, feel. Hinata is the one who represents the hopes and despairs of the common people.

Hinata’s hopes about the school were quickly dashed when he realises just how they were treated in comparison to the Main Course students, aka the Ultimates. It’s also interesting that despite claiming to love the school, Hinata doesn’t actually know how the Reserve Course differs from the Main Course. It appears that Hinata believed that he would be able to get a talent and become an Ultimate even if he entered through the Reserve Course. Either the school hid the dark reality of the Reserve Course (which wouldn’t be surprising), or Hinata didn’t actually dig deeper in his research. Especially considering he did not even try to apply for the position of Ultimate Luck (he did not even know about that, actually), I believe that Hinata is someone who doesn’t like to confront his greatest fears or worries, and by choosing to remain ignorant, he can hold on to his rosy image of a school that can make his dreams come true.

Of course, he can’t be ignorant of the truth once he’s actually in the school. Already, he can see a clear difference in how they were treated. The Main Course students are allowed to move between schools easily, but he (and the other Reserve Course students) get beaten up just for trying to enter the building? When his friend and classmate gets murdered by another Reserve Course student, that student then gets murdered by a Main Course student... who never got any sort of punishment? Two Reserve Course students lost their lives and the Main Course student who committed the same grave crime got their crime covered up? (Off-topic but isn’t it weird that Komaeda gets expelled for property damage but Fuyuhiko gets no punishment for MURDER... are the yakuza that powerful? Or more like why does DR3 want to make fun of Komaeda so much?)

And those are just what we see on screen. There is clearly some animosity between Main and Reserve Course students given Hinata’s class seemed very annoyed and hostile towards Koizumi when she went to visit Sato. The whole atmosphere of the Reserve Course is gloomy and depressing, compared to the Main Course where they were skipping class, throwing parties and playing games... We can infer what other micro-aggressions and unfair treatment the Reserve Course students felt when compared to the Main Course.

I have seen some people say that Hinata went through with the Kamukura Project because he wanted to impress Nanami... which I strongly disagree with. If anything it looked like he wanted to avoid her because he knew she would try to stop him. Hinata was fed up with being treated like second-rate trash. Not to mention he already has the pressure of his parents having to pay high school fees (that the Main Course most likely didn’t need to, given there are a few students in debt), so dropping out would disappoint them (and Hinata is stubborn and doesn’t give up easily once he’s decided to stick to something). Natsumi dying was simply the last straw. When he’s given the chance to become the person he’s always dreamed of becoming, a person full of talent, at this point where Hinata was at his lowest, there isn’t anything holding him back anymore. He is no longer afraid of something going wrong, because he’d already seen his classmates DIE, and the perpetrator with an Ultimate talent got to walk away scot-free. If he doesn’t take this chance now, he might end up the same way.

And he most likely would have, given all 2375 Reserve Course students committed a mass suicide. 2357 people who were not even named, or treated as individuals, who were just lumped into one number without any identity beyond having no talent.

By deciding to take part in the Kamukura Project, Hinata was able to live.

2. Kamukura Izuru Project

Or not really, because Hinata got his memories and consciousness erased. Can walking around as an emotionless shell really be called ‘living’? Junko implied that some messed up stuff happened to Hinata during the process, and I don’t know much about brain surgery... but we can imagine it was very painful and not ethical. Like Junko said, in order to completely rewrite Hinata’s personality, the researchers would have to go through drastic measure to accomplish something like that.

When did Hinata stopped being Hinata and when did he become Kamukura? We don’t know. But Hinata could feel everything when he was still Hinata. The fear, anger, regrets, pain, isolation... the feeling when he starts to realise he’s becoming numb. The feeling when he realises he can’t remember certain things. Soon the time will come when he can’t even remember anything. And he doesn’t even care anymore, because his emotions had been repressed to such an extent. (Does he even need anaesthesia to be operated on if he doesn’t feel pain? Hmm.)

He is now called Kamukura Izuru by the scientists who created him. Just like the other Reserve Course students, Hinata’s identity was erased and discarded.

In V3′s UTDP, Kamukura introduces himself in this way, basically showing he doesn’t really feel like he has a sense of identity either.

Kamukura is the proud product of the scientists’ hard work. Yet he is a secret who cannot be shown to the world, not just yet. The school claims it is to protect such rare talent, that he would somehow be mankind’s saviour. But it would surely tarnish Hope’s Peak Academy’s reputation, if the rest of the world knew what kind of lengths they went through to create such artificial hope anyway. And who knows just how much more they could push Kamukura’s talents? If Junko didn’t take over the school and call out to him, who knows what would happen to Kamukura? Would they dispose of him once their success was recorded and it might be too dangerous to keep a human experiment around? Would they fear the very being that they had created, that could easily overpower them if he wanted to? Would Kamukura, who had no motivation or reason to live, even care if he were to get killed...?

Kamukura was locked up in a dark room with just a bed. We can assume he was only let out to undergo tests and such. He was given the bare minimum for survival, and because Kamukura had no motivations, he did not want or need anything else... but he was extremely bored. Kamukura’s whole life was confined to his empty room and the lab. He could definitely escape if he wanted to, but what point was there in leaving? He could predict everything that would happen. To him, the outside world was probably as boring as the world inside the lab, or at least not worth the effort of sneaking out or escaping. (Although he did sneak out once in the DR3 anthology... and as you might have guessed, he found it boring.)

Junko is the one who gave Kamukura a motivation. She promised him the thrills and excitement of a world filled with despair. Kamukura had nothing to lose by going along with her plans, and in the best case scenario she would be correct and perhaps he might just feel something through despair.

Despite being apathetic and having all the talents... Kamukura does want to feel something. Because nothing surprises him, because he can predict everything, because he doesn’t feel challenged by anything, because he finds everything boring, Kamukura wants to find that something that can make him feel. And Junko promised he could find it through despair.

So she puts him into the Student Council Killing Game where he just... stands around and watch them. It isn’t until the very end when a bullet grazes his cheek where he gets somewhat surprised, and kills the student in self defence.

Junko uses him as a scapegoat to blame the killing of the student council on, and Kamukura starts to show signs of annoyance at being used. Eventually Junko kills Nanami, and Hinata’s subconscious reacts to the death of yet another of his friends, causing Kamukura to tear up. Although he is confused by the reaction, he holds on to her hairpin as a reminder. Hinata was still not truly gone, and he caused Kamukura to feel the most emotion he had felt in his short years of existence.

In UDG, Kamukura aggressively rips out Junko’s AI in annoyance, showing that he isn’t truly emotionless and he does dislike being used in such a matter. It’s also possible he was disappointed as despair did not really make him feel much. Still he goes along with her plan to infect the NWP and turn it into a killing game, but mostly to use it as a final showdown between hope and despair.

I say ‘final’, because the two options would both lead to Kamukura being erased and replaced by a different person.

3. Neo World Program and the Virtual Killing Game

Kamukura knew that he would not be able to take part in SDR2′s killing game, and told Komaeda that in Chapter 0. He knew that his previous self (Hinata) would be used as the avatar, so once again he could only watch from afar (was he even conscious?).

Kamukura went in knowing that if the rehabilitation of the Remnants of Despair was a success, then Hinata would live on as Hinata, and his memories and identity of Kamukura Izuru might be suppressed and erased (sound familiar?). If Junko’s plan succeeded, then she would upload her AI into all of the Remnant’s bodies and continue spreading despair.

Kamukura, before that point, had barely found a reason to live. But it still wasn’t strong enough to convince him. So if he were going to die, then at the very least he wanted to see if hope or despair could really excite him. If not, then at that point, would there be anything that could make him feel anything? Perhaps nothing would change even if he were to disappear. If he were to just keep being used by others to achieve such a boring, predictable hope or despair, then maybe he didn’t mind just dying. Perhaps, since death is what made him able to feel something, by putting himself in such a situation, he might even feel the fear of death itself?

And so Kamukura Izuru hijacked the NWP and Hinata Hajime was pulled out from the deepest recesses of his mind, and was able to live in the NWP.

But this Hinata isn’t the Hinata that is all too aware of the reality of being a talentless person in a world loved by talent. This Hinata is a fellow student in a class full of Ultimates. SDR2′s Hinata wanted to believe that he has a talent. When he sees the rest of the students, how they act, how some of them got to the school of his dreams through something like luck? Helped by Komaeda’s supportive words, Hinata believes that he must have just forgotten his talent due to the shock of suddenly waking up on a deserted island. Not to mention his memory of entering the school felt fuzzy in the first place, so it must be true. Since he was surrounded by Ultimates, he had to have one too.

That’s why, in SDR2, Hinata presents himself as a person who is more confident in himself. He sees himself as an equal to all the Ultimates, compared to Komaeda who clearly views himself as beneath the others. Hinata is able to feel comfortable making sarcastic remarks and comments about the others, because he believes he is just like them. But as the game progresses, Hinata starts to doubt himself. In Chapter 3, he starts to have some hazy memories that he tried to suppress.

It’s possible that he might have contracted the Despair Disease from Tsumiki and was starting to remember his past, before he entered Hope’s Peak Academy. Either way, as usual, Hinata continues to ignore his problems and negative thoughts.

When he hears about the traitor, while he did not want to believe it, he started to think it might be him. After all, he was the only one here who did not remember their talent. If he forgot something so important, perhaps it’s possible that he forgot he was the traitor as well. Despite his attempts to fit in with everyone, Hinata still felt left out from the others.

But Hinata continued to believe he was not the traitor, that his talent would come to him eventually, because he didn’t want to face what would happen IF he were the traitor. In Chapter 4, he reacts negatively to Komaeda and Souda suspecting him of being the traitor. He started acting more depressed and impulsive, not helped by the fact he had gone without food and being trapped in the Funhouse for a few days. Not to mention, he was the one who pushed everyone to go to the Funhouse so they could find the truth of their missing memories, in other words his talent.

Hinata became desperate, when he heard that there was a chance he might find out the truth through the Final Dead Room, he was ready to risk his life and go inside, but Nanami stopped him just in time. It’s very possible Nanami knew about his past to be better equipped to help him in his recovery. Or at the very least, it’s likely she knew he did not have a talent, and did not want him to get hurt if he found out the truth.

Unfortunately for them, Komaeda does get access to the secret files by playing roulette at Komaeda-level difficulty. Besides the details about them being Ultimate Despair, Komaeda also finds out the true talents of the Imposter and Hinata, which he promptly rubs in Hinata’s face probably in an attempt to make himself feel better about being the very embodiment of what he hates.

Hinata is shocked and in denial about it for a short while, because it came so suddenly, and from Komaeda, no less. But he could not run away from the truth forever. He should have expected it, being the only one who did not know his talent was just too suspicious. He should know better than anyone, how much he wanted a talent, how much importance he placed on talent. Forgetting was just a convenient excuse to make himself feel better. But that did not make it hurt any less. He was a fraud, a nobody, and this reality crushed Hinata’s fake confidence. The act he put up around the class crumbled. Komaeda constantly bringing up his lack of talent, mocking and insulting him did not help. But he had a murder to solve, and a genocidal Komaeda to deal with the next chapter. Hinata had no time to mope about and take it all in, he had to keep fighting for his survival.

Hinata had already lost hope when he found out about his lack of talent, but Komaeda starts tp be more aggressive in trying to expose the traitor’s identity. And once again Hinata starts to wonder if he were actually the traitor.

Komaeda gave them no time to rest and immediately told the remaining students about his plan to blow up the island. So they worked together to stop him, and found his gruesome dead body, and worked to find the murderer.

In the middle of the investigation, we once again see how pained Hinata felt when he confirms that he was in fact a talentless Reserve Course student.

“Why... why am I here with the other Ultimates?”

Eventually, they find out Komaeda’s death was not just a simple suicide, and they found out Komaeda’s true plan was to expose the traitor and execute them (which they later found was the exact opposite of what he wanted). Because Hinata knew Komaeda’s true personality, he knew that Komaeda wouldn’t die in such a meaningless way, so Hinata suspected there had to be something more to his death. Hinata was forced to expose Nanami as the traitor, through Monomi’s diary that included that moment that only Nanami should know about... Nanami, who noticed he was feeling anxious and being suspected of being the traitor, who left her group to find him because she was worried for him, who convinced him not to take the risk and leave the Final Dead Room, who told him not to listen to Komaeda mocking him.

Also, when Hinata saw that scene in the diary, he pretended not to acknowledge it and thought he shouldn’t bring it up to Nanami, because he wanted to avoid a potential problem once again, until he was forced to confront it in the trial.

With both Komaeda and Nanami gone, Hinata and the others are left exhausted and empty. But the time was up, and they could finally leave...? Even if Hinata wanted to completely give up now, the doors to freedom were (supposedly) finally open and it would be a waste not to at least give it a look.

A tired Hinata enters the mysterious Future Foundation building, and slowly pieces together the truth behind this killing game. In the final trial, we finally learn about Hinata’s backstory through Junko happily telling him that he is not merely a talentless Reserve Course student, but also a human experiment and his real self is no longer the same person standing in the class trial. The Future Foundation members are also shocked that Hinata and Kamukura were apparently the same person. Hinata’s first reaction is understandably denial, who would believe that they would go through something so messed up for the sake of hope and talent? Especially after Junko adds that Kamukura was the one who killed the student council members and kickstarted the tragedy.

But the seeds of doubt were already planted into Hinata. Junko easily uses Hinata’s fears to deter him from going along with the Forced Shutdown sequence. After all, by going through with it, he and the others would lose their memories of the virtual killing game, meaning he would go back to being Kamukura Izuru. For Hinata, this means that he would cease to exist. Again.

Junko brings up the fact that the Future Foundation want them to do the Forced Shutdown for their own desires, wanting to stop her from taking over the world, but is it really worth the cost of sacrificing their own lives and memories?

Hinata has a breakdown because how is he supposed to choose? Between sacrificing himself or saving the world, just because some people say so? He is afraid. He doesn’t want to disappear. He suddenly got put into this spot where the only choices are to die or destroy the world. Both Junko and the Future Foundation are only thinking of their own goals. The Future Foundation might give false reassurance that everything will be fine even if they go back to being Ultimate Despair, but will it really? They conveniently don’t bring up the fact that Hinata won’t even exist anymore in an attempt to convince them to go along with their plan to defeat Junko. As Junko mentioned, do these people even care about him and the others?

Hinata refuses to choose, because he cannot handle it anymore. The burden is too great, and Hinata would rather just give up. Once again, he is unable to face his issues head on and chooses to avoid them.

Hinata imagines an ending where the class is happy and back on Jabberwock Island. But Nanami snaps him out of it and confronts him. Hinata tells him his worries, tells him that he wants to give up, and adds that if they go through with the Forced Shutdown, everyone would forget about her too. Nanami tells him that no matter what, the future she and everyone fought for would still remain, and that Hinata should believe in himself and stop being so indecisive. Nanami tells him that they are the only ones who can decide their own future, and if they can’t choose one of the two options, to create their own future.

Hinata confronts his impression of Kamukura, or rather, his own negative feelings projected onto Kamukura’s avatar. His feelings of being talentless, being useless, being unable to change anything, being betrayed, his denial of being Kamukura Izuru. Hinata finally faces his own feelings head on and realises how uncool he is to act like that and keep moping about.

Thanks to Nanami’s encouragement, Hinata was able to overcome his feelings and awaken. Finally, Hinata has stopped running away and has decided to fight for a new future. He says that he is not Kamukura Izuru, but Hinata Hajime, and argues that they don’t have to stick to the two choices presented to them, that they can and will create their own future that they can be proud of. Hinata convinces the other survivors to do the same, and they go through with the Forced Shutdown sequence. Usami appears and defeats Junko, and the survivors wake up from the NWP.

3.5. World Destroyer

This technically happened before DR3, so I’ll put this here. With Kamukura’s talents, Hinata was able to create the AI of World Destroyer, who was given Kamukura’s personality to be as efficient and ruthless in his job as possible. And he was modelled after Hinata’s avatar because... well there are a lot of theories, but personally I think it’s because Kamukura’s hair physics would be a bigger pain to work with then Hinata’s short hair.

Okay that was a joke, but my interpretation the reason is that they wanted to pick someone who is distant from the other students, so that they wouldn’t get too attached or get emotionally hurt when WD shoots them and wakes them up. So they went with Hinata since the students won’t have any memories of him before the killing game (which seems to be where their minds are trapped within).

It’s possible that Hinata might sometimes feel as if he were not truly a part of the class, as everyone except him shared some memories of their time in Hope’s Peak Academy or being Remnants of Despair (that they may or may not have regained). We already know he thinks that he is different from everyone else. Not to mention, he might have also felt responsible for causing them to die in the NWP since it was Kamukura who injected Junko’s AI into it, so he tried to wake them from their coma.

Hinata (and Kamukura) had to shoulder the huge burden of saving these people, with the hopes of all the other survivors resting on him. Did he think, he was the only one who could do something like that? With all these talents, he could finally be of use to his friends? Despite people like Nanami constantly telling him that it’s okay not to have a talent, it’s only because he became Kamukura, that he obtained all this talent, that he was able to bring everyone back to life.

Having to deal with the pressure that you will be responsible for all these people’s lives, knowing that it’s your fault but not really that they ended up like this, having to deal with living the rest of your life with another person in your mind, knowing that you finally got what you always wanted but you caused so many people and yourself so much pain... That is something only Hinata Hajime would feel.

4. Kamukura, Hinata and the Future

(This section will contain a lot of rambling headcanons based on how they get along after the events of SDR2/DR3. Also me being confused by DR3′s writing.)

When Hinata wakes up from the simulation, it is heavily implied that Kamukura’s personality is still present within him, as he occasionally mentions being bored (like when the Future Foundation members come after them). Even though he cut his hair, and continues to mainly present himself as Hinata, he retains Kamukura’s talents and shares a body and mind with him.

There are a few confusing things about SDR2 and DR3, such as the fact Naegi and friends don’t know Kamukura and Hinata were the same person, even though Naegi would have likely needed to meet Kamukura to ‘capture’ him, and in the visions Kamukura retained his appearance when talking to Komaeda on the boat to the real Jabberwock Island. It would be kind of suspicious to see that Kamukura was not present in the simulation but instead a completely different person, yet the Future Foundation talk as if they did not know Kamukura even existed...? Why would a random Reserve Course student be in the simulation instead? You would think they would know the identities of who they were going to upload into a rehabilitation programme... or at least put two-and-two together and do some research into this Hinata Hajime person? Anyway I digressed.

I believe that Kamukura was able to also get what he wanted. While he might also have known about the Forced Shutdown sequence, I feel like he might still see it as a non-answer (it may be the Future Foundation’s hope, but he and the other Remnants would go back to being despair anyway). But I don’t think he would have expected Hinata to retain his personality (and possibly memories of the killing game) as well. (Or is it just Kamukura acting as Hinata? We will never know why it seems like the SDR2 cast reverted to their in-game personalities despite the Forced Shutdown being unable to retain those memories...) Either way, I think Kamukura would not have predicted such a thing, because it... defies logic. Seriously how did they even fuse? Why does Hinata have heterochromia?? Did the program malfunction and a miracle happen?? I guess so.

Hinata can still feel emotions, but probably a lot less than he would before, because his brain has been messed with to suppress emotions. But for Kamukura, who had felt nothing his entire life, to be able to feel what it is like to ‘feel’, even just a little, is exactly the kind of stimulus he had been looking for.

And for Hinata, to go from being a talentless nobody, to becoming possibly the only survivor of the Reserve Course, to be suddenly equipped with all these skills and talents... I imagine it must have overloaded him, to suddenly wake up and feel so foreign in your own body. To suddenly realise there is someone else besides him, in his own brain, and that someone be an emotionless, apathetic, harsh, judgemental person... but still a person.

As I mentioned before, I think Hinata felt responsible for putting the class through the killing game. Even if it wasn’t technically him, because it was him that became Kamukura, he caused them to suffer to such an extent... But at the same time, because it was him, because it was Kamukura, he was able to use his foreign talents for something he wanted to do - to save his friends. For once, his identity as the Ultimate Hope was not being taken advantage of by someone else, but he was able to use it for his own wishes. For once, Hinata was able to regain control of his, of Kamukura’s, talents. Because of Kamukura, Hinata was able to live, face his regrets and save his friends.

For Kamukura, I think that he has finally found a meaning to his life. To be able to feel Hinata’s conviction in wanting to rescue his comatose friends. To want to use his talents that he previously would find boring. To want to live and keep existing. Hinata has shown him that things that he can’t predict do exist. Because of Hinata, Kamukura was able to find his purpose.

Hinata, who had always doubted himself, his identity, had to suddenly wake up as two people in the same body. He had to come to terms with the fact that he was different from everyone else, that he had gone through some things people would never be able to understand. He had to learn how accept this was how he would be for the rest of his life, to accept Kamukura as a part of himself. And similarly, Kamukura would also have to accept Hinata as a part of him, rather than just his past that did not matter, Hinata exists and is here right now.

Also, since Kamukura technically only existed for a few years, despite having so much knowledge, he is still lacking in experience. So Hinata would still have things to show and teach him. I also think that Kamukura has low energy due to his lack of motivation, which was why he barely moves about, only sees the value in ‘efficient’ actions, prefers to stand back and observe others, and that is why Hinata is the one that takes the lead in their body after SDR2.

(Stealthy edit but I totally missed this part in the OVA, but Hinata confirms they are both him, meaning they’ve both come to terms with each other and has accepted the other as a part of themselves. :D)

Hinata needs Kamukura, and Kamukura needs Hinata. Without one of them, the other would not exist, and they make up for what the other lacks.

Bonus: Cute Stuff

To end this off, here are some miscellaneous cute facts about these two!

Kamukura talks in a more polite way than Hinata

They have two colours of underwear, blue and red/pink with white sakura patterns

Kodaka made a tweet that suggested Hinata Hajime’s name could be read similarly to Kamukura [Hi (ka) -nata (muku) Hajime (kura)]

Kamukura’s hair follows a similar pattern to Hinata’s hair (ahoge, the one pointy middle strand)

Hinata’s stop/cancel sign in his eyes transforms to a target sign when he becomes Kamukura (two prongs) and awakened Hinata (three prongs!!)

Hinata’s official watch has black and red clock hands... :]

Anyway, thanks for reading if you somehow made it this far! This ended up being.... extremely long and rambly... and I might have repeated my points a few times... but I hope you still enjoyed it! :’D

#danganronpa #sdr2 #hinata hajime #kamukura izuru #fishy thoughts #long post #text post #ahhh hh hh h #i may like them... maybe...#kamuhina #slaps the kamuhi tag here too because let's be real it's a kamuhi essay too ww

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rosebagbyastrology · 4 years ago

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🔮 Weekly Astrological Forecast 🔮

Astrology Forecast for the week of 11/9 — 11/15

These are the major planetary transits and aspects of the week. My interpretations are general run-downs of the energies present. **All times mentioned are Eastern US Time**

Monday, November 9th

🤱🏻 Ceres moves into Pisces

Ceres, the Great Mother asteroid, will be moving out of Aquarius and into Pisces, shifting us from air to water, from intellect to emotions. Ceres in Pisces is the ultimate unconditional loving mother archetype. She sacrifices herself for others, and her altruism, care, empathy and depth of love radiate in her truest form and highest vibration. The shadow side of Ceres in Pisces can have a victim-complex or try to always be a martyr or savior, and can confuse enabling and codependence with unconditional love. In order to love others with the nurturing love of Ceres, you must first have love for the self, which can be achieved by expressing clear and healthy boundaries.

Monday, November 9th

✂️ Venus in Libra opposite Mars Rx in Aries

Around 11AM, Venus in Libra will oppose retrograde Mars in Aries. Venus aspecting Mars has been a signature of this Mars Rx. She squared Mars just before his Rx on 9/9 and now opposes him just before he goes direct. This creates tension between Yin and Yang, masculine and feminine. Venus in Libra is a rational lover, but her shadow side can become codependent. Mars in Aries is assertive, raw and primal, and his shadow side can become too aggressive, selfish and combative. Dualities, polarities, power imbalances and personal differences in your relationships may be brought to the surface now. These may be make or break. With Mars making tense aspects to Venus, this energy could arouse the need to cut ties or end certain relationships/leave certain situations that are no longer working.

Monday, November 9th

💭 Sun in Scorpio trine Neptune Rx in Pisces

This peaceful trine will occur around noon, aligning the Sun, our conscious self and ego, with Neptune, the planet of spirituality and idealism. This influence is dreamy, floaty, romantic and creative. Give yourself space to breathe, to be, to meditate. Pay attention to your intuition and emotions.

Tuesday, November 10th

🦂 Mercury moves into Scorpio

Near 5PM, Mercury will move from Libra to Scorpio, shifting the mind and intellect from air to water, from logical thought to feeling emotions, from conscious to unconscious. Mercury in Scorpio is deep and penetrating, always wanting to get to the bottom of things. This is a great influence for shadow work, research, study, therapy, and deep, meaningful conversations with others. Watch out for intense negative emotions surfacing such as jealousy, possessiveness or power/control dynamic imbalances in your relationships.

Thursday, November 12th

🔱 Jupiter and Pallas Athena conjunct in Capricorn

Around 2PM, Jupiter conjoins Pallas Athena at 22’50°, followed by Pluto conjoining Pallas at 22’41°, linking the Jupiter-Pluto conjunction happening later today with the asteroid Goddess of War, politics, intelligence and wisdom. Pallas and Jupiter together is revealing the “bigger picture” at play. Together, they can magnify patriarchal thought, power and control dynamics in your relationships, and revealing things in the political and social environment. Imagine this aspect as a veil being lifted and something being revealed.

Thursday, November 12th

‼️ Jupiter conjunct Pluto in Capricorn

This is the third and final Jupiter-Pluto conjunction of 2020. Jupiter is like a trigger planet, and when it conjoins with another planet, it takes that influence up a few notches. From today until the 17th, Jupiter with Pluto will be amplifying the Pluto-Eris square, for the third and final time in 2020.

**Many astrologers do not talk about Eris, as she is a new body discovered in 2005. But historically, new bodies are associated with what was unfolding in the world and the collective upon their discovery, so her role as a disruptor is clearly seen in what is happening on the planet right now. At the best, Jupiter brings light to the darkness of Pluto, and he can bring opportunities for massive transformation, evolution and rebirth. But Jupiter can also magnify the shadow side of Pluto; a ruthless desire for power and control, behind the scenes domination, subversive manipulation and jealous, vengeful energy. Pluto is deep and extreme, while Jupiter is adding more fuel to the already hot and heavy Saturn-Pluto-Eris fire. This is a great time for shamanic journeys, shadow work, and diving into the depths of being. But what you find when you dive might be dark and intense. The whole world is going through a dark time right now. People are being forced to stay home more, be alone with less distractions, and alone with their emotions and deepest, darkest feelings. Your greatest asset right now will be your ability to embrace the shadows, confront and face your fears and anxieties, and really take the time to do inner work on yourself. Pay attention to what’s going on around you. The truth can set you free, but it might piss you off or hurt you first. These things need to be felt and dealt with.

Friday, November 13th

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 Neptune Rx in Pisces trine Juno in Scorpio

Just before noon, retrograde Neptune will form a gentle trine with Juno, the marriage asteroid, in Scorpio. Neptune-Juno together can elevate our hearts to a space of higher love and romanticism. This is a positive influence for mystical relationships, existing ones or new ones forming that could be past life connections. Be aware of this idealistic influence and don’t put others on a pedestal. Instead, use this energy for meditation, connecting with your higher self and deepening your healthy relationships with others.

Friday, November 13th

⚠️ Mars stations Direct in Aries

Around 7:30PM, Mars in Aries will finally station direct at 15’13°, completing the retrograde cycle that began on 9/9. Mars is the will, the warrior and drive within us, and he is now direct in the sign he rules, so his power is full throttle. He may tend to be overly Yang/masculine energy, expressing aggression, anger, rage, dominance and violence at his most negative state. Mars has triggered the Pluto-Eris square twice already, one more occurring 12/22. Pluto and Eris have been exposing behind-the-scenes power dynamics. With Mars turning direct, aggression and action-oriented energy is dominant, so be careful with your words, actions and ego today.

Saturday, November 14th

🤝 Venus in Libra trine North Node in Gemini

Early morning around 8AM, Venus in her ruling sign of Libra will trine the lunar mean North Node in Gemini. Destined and fated events may occur in your relationships and partnerships. Beauty, balance and harmony are in focus. Both bodies in Air signs are focused on communication, collaboration and seeking the truth. Pay attention to your relationships and find balance today.

Saturday, November 14th

🔍 Sun in Scorpio sextile Pluto-Jupiter in Capricorn

The Sun in Scorpio will sextile Pluto at 3PM, and Jupiter at 11PM, both in Capricorn. The sextile with Pluto enhances this double-down energy, allowing us to get focused on making change happen in our lives. It brings us out of our victim mentalities and allows us to embrace our inner power. The sextile with Jupiter is amazing for opening up and expanding our minds, and accessing the depths of our shadows and secrets.

Sunday, November 15th

🌑 New Moon exact in Scorpio

The New Moon at 23’18° Scorpio will be exact shortly after midnight, commencing a new lunar cycle that will be focused on the depths, mysteries and shadows. This is a time to DIVE DEEP and bring hidden things to light. This New Moon is sextile Jupiter-Pluto, which amplifies the transformational capacity of this lunation. The Moon will make a tense aspect with Eris, the Goddess of Discord and Chaos, bringing in some sudden and unexpected energy that could be ungrounding or destabilizing, but also liberating and revealing if we choose to use the information that comes to light wisely.

Sunday, November 15th

🗯 Mercury in Scorpio quincunx Chiron Rx in Aries

At 4:30AM, Mercury in Scorpio quincunx Chiron Rx in Aries creates tension between the mind and intellect and the wounded healer planetoid. Both bodies are in Mars-ruled signs, which can make for intense, conflict-oriented or aggressive conversations and exchanges. The potential for healing or overcoming these aggressive tendencies is possible if you bring consciousness to your words and actions and how it will affect others. Avoid being petty, spiteful or unnecessarily stirring up drama. Also don’t over-react or make any impulsive decisions under this influence.

Sunday, November 15th

💢 Venus in Libra square Pluto in Capricorn

This transit creates tension between the Goddess of Love and the Lord of the Underworld. Venus-Pluto can be highly sexual, passionate and intense, but it is very potent. This square can bring up all kinds of shadows, from possessiveness and jealousy, to power and control imbalances, or to other forms of toxicity.

Since Venus moved into Libra she has been hit with several tense transits with Chiron, Uranus, Jupiter, Pluto, Saturn, Neptune and Eris. The surface facade of relationships is really being tested. Is the foundation of your relationship steady enough to handle the turbulence? Relationships that are solid and grounded will be showing their strength right now. Balance between the self and the other is key. This is not a time to be selfish or to be too giving.

Sunday, November 15th

📰 Pallas Athena in Capricorn square Eris Rx in Aries

Pallas Athena, the Wisdom and Warrior Goddess, will square retrograde Eris, Goddess of Chaos and Discord, around 7PM. Something big might come up politically. Something is going on behind the scenes. Pallas is working to magnify what needs to be seen, while Eris is pulling back the curtain to reveal the shadows beneath. Pallas also triggers the Pluto-Eris square this week (11/12-11/15) while Jupiter triggers Pluto-Pallas (11/12). Something is developing politically.

#astrology transits #astrology forecast #astrology #weekly horoscope #horoscope

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nahte123456 · 5 years ago

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Miraculous Pokémon idea.

So a fic idea I have no plans on doing, I don’t really expect anyone to read this but if you do tell me!

In this world Pokémon are mysterious beings that sometimes appear near people in Pokeballs for no discernable reason, Pokémon do not appear outside of being partnered with a human. No human can have more then 6 Pokémon, but it’s rare to get to this point as many people do not even have 1.

The Pokémon represent there partner in some way and you can only have 1 type per person. So a hotheaded person will get only Fire types, while a crafty person will get Dark types. In addition how the Pokémon act also represents them as well, if the Pokémon is cruel then the person is as well.

In addition to normal Pokémon though there are 3 special types of Pokémon. Legendaries, who are absurdly strong, Mega’s who have a stone on there bodies when they appear which if the trainer is talented can evolve to an even stronger form, and Z-users who have are a rare color and can use powerful Z-moves that take an hour to recharge.

Dynamax and Gigamax are area exclusive to only small parts of the UK and central South America, so they may be mentioned but would never be important.

Paris is currently a place of extreme interest due to an unusually high amount of people having 6 Pokémon, and/or some form of the 3 rarer types of Pokémon.

However Paris is being attacked by Akumatization, in which if a Human Partner feels negative emotions the Pokémon can be instantly and strongly turned into a Shadow Pokémon, Shadow Pokémon have increased aggression, increased power, ignore enemy types resistances, and have a special Z-move called Evilization. To stop an Akumatized Pokémon they must be knocked out in which they will revert to normal, however this reversion causes an explosive backlash called Akumatization Retaliation. The only known people related to this phenomenon are Hawk Moth, a terrorist with unclear goals, and an ally that uses Psychic types.

Marinette has Fairy Pokémon and is special in that she has not just 6 Pokémon, but has a Z-user, a Mega, and a Legendary. The first person since Cynthia over 200 years ago to have this, however because of how special it is she keeps both her Mega and her Legendary secret. Her Pokémon are Clefable, Alcremie, Shiinotic, Z-Ribombee, Mega-Gardevoir, and Xerneas. Xerneas has the unique ability where if it knocks out an Akumatized Pokémon they do not cause an Akumatization Retaliation. Afterwards Mega-Gardevoir uses her Psychic powers to shape Xerneas’ powers to restore life to restore damaged terrain, however the limits to this restoration is unknown and untrustworthy. Because of this she uses both her Mega and Legendary to combat the Akumatizartion.

Adrien has Dark Pokémon, with both a Mega and a Legendary, although he also keeps his Legendary a secret because he fears his Father trying to use it. His Pokémon are Crawdaunt, Mandibuzz, Grimmsnarl, Hydreigon, Mega-Absol, and Yveltal. He helps Xerneas as he views Xerneas and Yveltal as partners, and has a strong interest in meeting Xerneas’ human.

Gabriel is known to only have a very protective and powerful Banette and a calm Mismagius. However he is secretly the criminal Hawk Moth, with 6 powerful Ghost Pokémon all under Akumatization with a secret means to keep them loyal, uniquely despite being Akumatized and still being able to use Evilization his Gengar can still Mega. His Pokémon are Banette, Misamgius, Dusknoir, Decidueye, Chandelure, and Mega-Gengar.

Nathalie was only known to have a Mega-Alakazam but in secret she helped Gabriel’s illegal endeavors with her other 5 Psychic types, Reuniclus, Gallade, Gothitel, Grumpig, and Sigilyth all Akumatized. It is unknown why her Alakazam is not Akumatized like Gabriel’s Gengar.

Alya has Grass Types and a Z-Pokémon. Her Pokémon are Roselia, Bellosome, Shiftry, Tsareena, Eldegoss, and Z-Sceptile. She wants to be a reporter and uses her Grass Pokémon to help her manage time.

Nino has Water Types and a Mega. His Pokémon make a nice Rain team in Pelipper, Politoad, Quagsire, Kabutops, Ludicolo, and Mega-Swampert. He loves music and often uses Ludicolo’s dance with his music to add to the impact.

Chloe has Bug Types and has the rare 2 Mega Pokémon, she can’t use both at once but between the two she has huge power. Her Pokémon are Volcarona, Pinsir, Galvantula, Vespiquen, Mega-Beedrill, and Mega-Scizor.

Sabrina has Fire Types and a Z-move, however she finds herself unable to use the Z-move for unknown reasons for the first 15 years of her life. Her Pokémon are Rapidash, Salazzle, Centiskorch, Typhlosion, Pyroar, and Z-Arcanine.

Juleka has Poison Types but no special Pokémon. Her Pokémon are Drapion, Toxicroak, Arbok, Crobat, Dragalge, and Toxtricity.

Luka has Dragon Types with a Mega and is well on his way to being a Dragon Master. His Pokémon are Flygon, Haxorus, Noivern, Turtonator, Hakamo-o, and Shelgon with a Mega-Salamence crystal.

Kagami has Steel Types and a Mega. Her Pokemon are 2 Bisharp(one offensive one defensive), an Aegislash, an Aggron, Lucario, and Mega-Metagross.

Lila has 3 Dark Types with no special Pokémon. They are Sableye, Spiritomb, and Zoroark.

Penny has Ice Pokémon with no special Pokémon. Her Pokémon are Ice-Ninetails, Avalugg, Lapras, Frosmos, Froslass, and Abomasnow.

Jagged is THE Dragon Master, with both Legendaries and a Mega. His Dragons are Duraladon, Dragonite, Garchomp, Goodra, Latias, and Mega-Latios

Some plot points

Chloe was incredibly powerful with her 2 Mega’s and her Father’s influence she rarely uses strategy able to brute force just about anything. However despite having 6 Pokémon to Marinette’s 4 and 2 Mega’s with a type advantage she’s never been able to beat the Bluenette, which causes her enormous jealousy. Marinette was simply to smart, to quick to plan, for Chloe’s brute force to win.

Sabrina was extremely self-conscious of her inability to have her Arcanine use it’s Z-move for most of her life. This is why she idolizes Chloe who was able to Mega-Evolve her Pokémon at the extremely young age of 5(Beedrill) and 6(Scizor).

Sabine has a Hitmontop and Tom has a Torkoal, both know all 6 of Marinette’s Pokémon along with her interference in the Akumatized Pokémon. They worry for her but know Marinette may never forgive them if they stop her from helping people.

Nathalie prioritizes Gabriel’s happiness above all else, to the complete exclusion of her own happiness or morality.

Lila wants to be Adrien’s girlfriend, thinking they’d make the perfect Dark Type duo, to which he has no interest in. However she despises Marinette as on her first day her Spiritomb was sneaking around when Marinette’s Alcremy found it and knocked it out in 1 move. She is now afraid of confronting Marinette in any fasion but despises her for that.

Jagged played around all the time, but when he got serious he has only lost 3 times in the last decade.

1)To Penny in a 4-v-4 double battle without his Lati’s, despite leaving behind his best Mons and the type disadvantage he took down 3 of hers and her Avalugg, the last Pokémon standing, collapsed seconds after the victor had been declared.

2)To Marinette, he found out who she was and challenged her to a full 6-v-6 match to determine if she has the strength to fight on. She won however all but her Xerneas had been knocked out and Xerneas could neither move or attack, just stand there panting. After losing ina full out fight Jagged treated Marinette as an equal and despite the just-over 20 year age difference the two are close friends.

3)To Hawk Moth. He had tracked Hawk Moth down and challenged him to a battle, but Hawk moth used his pride against him to make it a traditional 6-v-6 battle, with his Akumatized Gengar sweeping both Lati’s and Garchomp, before losing to Goodra, however Akumzatization Retaliation dropped Goodra as well. Hawk moth then sent out all 5 of his remaining Mons to Jagged’s 2 despite this and the Realtiation’s he was able to knock out all but the very injured Mismagius and the mostly OK Decidueye. Hawk moth decided he needed to kill Jagged rather then any of his normal Akuma tricks, only to be cut off as a massive flare engulfed his Decidueye and even ate it’s Relatiation, a blue blur knocked out Mismagius and threw her away before her Retaliation hurt anyone, a yellow streak saved Jagged and his Dragons, and a massive wave of poison nearly engulfed Hawk Moth before Sigilyth saved him. Sabrina had used her Fire-Z for the first time to overwhelming results, Chloe’s Mega-Beedrill had saved everyone, Luka’s Shelgon evolved not Salamence to take out the Mismagius, and Juleka’s Toxtricity had tried to drown Hawk Moth in a Sludge Wave. Xerneas and Gardevoir got there soon after but they had finally found there restoriation’s limits, parts of the block was still demolished and Latias was in a coma with no one knowing when, or even if, she’d wake again.

Jagged was grateful and took on the 4 as his apprentices/helpers, although Juleka asked to work with Penny instead which was granted.

Sabrina’s confidence had a major boost along with her battle capabilities.

Chloe reacted badly to this sending Sabrina crying, but regreted it, found her later, and had a good cry herself. The two’s relationship is better then ever, possible romantic.

Kagami is around with a crush on Adrien but she despises his father and refuses to give the man any leverage over her or anymore leverage over Adrien so she refrains from presueing him.

Marinette has a crush on Adrien.

Adrien doesn’t have a crush although he is very interested in Xerneas’ partner because he has a strong belief in destiny.

Nino and Alya are interested in each other but dance around it for a bit because teenagers.

Juleka and Rose are dating steadily since they first found out dating was a thing, much to everyone’s shock that 2 teens seem in a happy long term relationship.

Luka has a crush on Marinette which he is open about, but he doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable so he merely told her and flirts, willing to stop if she asks him to or date her if she shows any interest. She has not asked him to stop.

Kagami supports Luka’s crush, Juleka is bemused as is Penny, Marinette is a blushing mess, Chloe supports it if only to get Marinette away from Adrien, and Rose and Jagged are VERY enthusiastic about the whole thing.

#miraculous ladybug #pokemon #fanfic #crossover #Badass Marinette #Chloe redemption #Sabrina love #Jagged Love #Luka Love #Juleka love #Adrien love #Hawk Moth Hate

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kayokos-villain-imagines · 5 years ago

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Charcoal grey with they eight Expandables?

Charcoal Gray = What kind of yandere are they?

//Very, very vanilla because I’m used to writing fluff//

//In this, you’re a loose associate with the Shie Hassaikai, like what Giran is to the LoV//

//No, I don’t know why there’s flowers//

Prompt list

~Nemoto🌸~

The first few times you two meet, it seems like he hates you. In reality, he really likes you, but won’t admit it to himself. You make him feel things, and he hates that at first. At first.

When he decides to embrace his attraction to you rather than ignore it, it’s like a switch flip. He goes from avoiding you to following you everywhere you go.

Has a mindset of “if she didn’t like me, she wouldn’t make me like her”, which can be an issue if you actually aren’t interested in him.

The more you try to get away, the more he insists that you stay and won’t take no for an answer. He’s used to people avoiding him because of his quirk, and he’s not letting that happen with you.

Speaking of his quirk, he detests the thought of using it on you because “couples should trust each other”.

Because of this, he’ll tell you absolutely everything about his day, including his honest, unfiltered opinions. The only problem with this is that he expects you to do the same, but also won’t accept negative feedback. Even without his quirk, he’ll know if you’re lying, and will be very upset about it.

If you do manage to somehow be happy with your situation, or become the world’s most convincing liar, he’ll be extremely pleased and sort of act more like a normal boyfriend, buying you gifts, making you food, etc.

But it’s hard to pay too much attention to these changes when he’s still never confessed his love, and keeps you locked up at the base.

Despite all this, if you really wanted to get away, it wouldn’t be that hard, since Nemoto himself isn’t that hard to overpower.

~Tengai🌺~

At first, he probably just admires you from afar. He’s really good at self-control, so no one really suspects anything.

In fact, the only reason he’d transition from this to yandere would be if he realized how dangerous your life was. Even then, he’d calmly suggest the idea of moving in with them before he considered anything drastic. If you turn him down, he’ll seem to respect your wishes, but will now be hyper-vigilant to any danger you put yourself in. He will keep himself up at night worrying about you.

If you wake up one morning and find yourself locked in a room at the Shie Hassaikai hideout, it’s because everyone else got fed up with his worrying.

He feels bad about this, but sees it as necessary for your safety.

Very patient. You can scream and kick all you like, and he’ll just sit beside you and wait for you to calm down.

If you accept your new role as Tengai’s s/o, he’ll eventually trust you enough to let you move freely around the base, so it seems less like a hostage situation and more like a “romantic partners who moved in together” thing.

~Sakaki🏵️~

Honestly, I don’t feel like he himself would be the one to incarcerate his so. He probably didn’t think this would end up being more than a temporary crush.

Most likely, Overhaul decided to keep you with them for an unrelated reason.

Since Sakaki is likely to have drunkenly flirted with you before, you’d probably gravitate towards him.

He’d take this as you showing interest in him, and become more protective of you.

Even if you get used to being stuck with the group, he’ll still cling to you and expect you to act just as interested as you were when you began your permanent stay.

It seems that the more you try to distance yourself from him, the closer he gets.

If you tell him up front to leave you alone, he’ll start going through rapid mood swings.

From depressed to frustrated to angry and back again until you agree to be his.

His mood swings affect everyone around him, so the rest of the Shie Hassaikai will force you to comply.

~Rappa🌹~

Pretty much checks all the boxes of a stereotypical yandere hunk

You really don’t have a chance to get out of this situation. Rappa is stronger than you, and he’s not just going to let you go.

Before he locks you up, he’ll kill who he sees as competition, regardless of how close you are to them.

When he locks you up, he’ll pretty much use you as a giant teddy bear. You sit on his lap while he nuzzles your neck most of the time he’s with you. You can’t really struggle against him.

You’re probably expecting me to talk about him wanting to fight you or something.

At first, he’s very physically aggressive with you, especially if you’re not doing what he wants. If you’re not obedient to him, he’s going to get mad, and might hurt you as a result. There’s a specific incident where he gets carried away and you end up needing medical attention. After that, you don’t rebel against him anymore, and he’s disappointed to see your spunk dissipate.

As this behavior continues and you don’t go back to the way you used to be, he’ll kind of realize that he went too far.

Rappa really does care about you, so he’s slightly gentler with you from there on out. By slightly, I mean that he still gets physical with you, he’s just abnormally mindful of his actions. Never uses his quirk on you, but will definitely use his strength to restrain you and keep you in line.

~Katsukame🌼~

Very similar to Rappa, but more flirty when you two first meet.

To be clear, not cute flirty, aggressive flirty You know he’s not just being friendly, and you know he’ll flip if you start a relationship with anyone else.

Because you’re not dating anyone else, he assumes you’re into him, and any yelling, screaming, kicking, is just playing hard to get.

If you start a relationship with someone else anyways, he will flip, kill your partner, and lock you up.

Not as ‘affectionate’ as Rappa, but if you put up a fight at any time, he’ll sap your energy and lay with you to force you to get used to him.

Honestly, there’s really not much more to say about him, other than if the scenario from Rappa’s headcanons (he hurts you too much and you need medical attention) ever occurred with him, he would blame you for resisting him and double down on discipline.

~Setsuno🌻~

((These headcanons might overlap a lot with the Setsuno general relationship hcs I’m working on))

Like Nemoto, he didn’t want to get a crush on you. Unlike Nemoto, he doesn’t blame you so much as he blames himself. In fact, he doesn’t really blame you for anything. You can do no wrong in his eyes, and that scares him.

Doesn’t think he deserves something so perfect, and yet he can’t live without you. Dealing with this is a constant internal battle.

Will make sure you can’t leave him before he shares his feelings. When he confesses his love to you, he doesn’t want ‘no’ to be an option.

Is now permanently attached to you at all times, but he still needs you to want him there. If Setsuno sees you talking to another guy, no matter how platonic it is, his behavior will only get worse. He’d never physically hurt you, but being with him can be mentally and emotionally demanding, and you can’t really back out of it.

Brings you gifts and will have a breakdown if you don’t react the way he hopes you will. Same thing with cuddles. He’ll lay down on top of you and expects you to dote on him and tell him how much you love him.

The more he’s with you, the more he comes to care for you and worry that he isn’t enough. This exaggerates all of the behaviors listed above and makes your relationship that much more exhausting on your part.

With time and loyalty, he’ll calm down a bit, but still can’t handle you going anywhere without him.

~Hojo💮~

A sweet, protective yandere, like Tengai. He knows you can take care of yourself, but there’s just so many dangers of the world, and there’s no way you can defend yourself against all of them. At first, he comforts himself with the fact that he can protect you in dangerous situations, but you’re not always around him.

This is what makes him lock you up. There’s no way he could handle you getting hurt, so the best way to prevent that is to keep you with him all the time.

If you’re upset about the situation, he’ll just be confused. You’re safe now, you don’t have to worry about anything anymore, why are you in distress over this?

Doesn’t know how to handle your onslaught of emotion. Just… leaves you alone for a while. Comes back with food.

Most likely, you’ll get so lonely that you’ll behave so he spends time with you. He doesn’t really hold a conversation well, but he enjoys your presence enough to try.

If you ask him for something, he’ll get it for you. Anything so you won’t be upset with him. Just don’t expect him to let you go.

Also probably won’t let you talk to many other people. If you’re insistent enough on other company, he’ll be a little self-conscious, but might let you become acquainted with Setsuno and Tabe. ‘Might’ because he’s kind of afraid they might accidentally scare you.

~Tabe🌷~

A mix of the insecure, awkward, and protective types. He’s not confident you’ll ever fall in love with him, doesn’t even know where to begin with courting you, but he wants to make sure you’re safe.

He’d only lock you up (with the help of his friends) after you get seriously hurt, and worry him. He feels bad about restricting your freedom, he really does, but it’s the only way he can ensure your safety.

Will cuddle you a lot as a frequent apology for your situation.

Brings you gifts, stolen items, and l o t s of food. Assumes you’re also always hungry, so you get way too much food. Gets way too concerned if you’re not eating all of it.

Really doesn’t expect anything from you. he’ll be happy enough if you settle into the new situation, but will be surprisingly understanding if you don’t.

Definitely introduces you to his friends. The only time he’s anywhere close to upset with you is getting defensive if you’re scared of them, but he’d never actually hurt you.

ヽ(*⌒▽⌒*)ﾉ

#eight expendables #shie hassaikai #eight bullets #toya setsuno #yu hojo #tabe soramitsu #bnha tabe x reader #bnha hojo x reader #bnha setsuno x reader #shin nemoto #bnha nemoto x reader #tengai hekiji #tengai x reader #mha rappa #kendo rappa x reader #rikiya katsukame #bnha katsukame x reader

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thelittlehansy · 5 years ago

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Narcissism in the Westregraad family part 1

If Hans is several times called a sociopath/psychopath ( i had make a post about it on my blog explaining that hans dont represent with accuracy sociopath/psychopath behavior) i also saw him be qualified to be a narcissist and having narcissistic personality disorder a lot of times. and i m not gonna lie this is my reaction about people assuming hans has NPD

😅😁

First because i have an history with that disorder my parents who are psychiatrist talk a lot with me about it at a period where i think i had a friend who was one.But mainly because we label very easily person with the term “narcissist” There is this trend in my country to accuse ex-boyfriend who are manipulative and are product of toxic masculinity to be narcissist. when NPD is a true disorder , a psychiatrist illness along with anti social personality disorder and it’s so annoying when people think they can say if someone is narcissist based on what they thing the disorder is when we need true psychiatrist to diagnose it.

I took what a website (helpguide.org) said about narcissist personality disorder symptoms and the explanation and not a silly website “ wants to knows if you ex is one”

since hans is a fictional character and therefore do not exist in real life took informations about the disorder and makes them apply to Hans personality is the closest thing we have to say if he is one or not.

So does hans have narcissist personality disorder ?

first i want to say this is more difficult to say if hans is one that with psychopath/sociopath symptoms because there are way more difficult to catch and less obvious and we can easily become parano ( i say that based on personal experience ) thats why also we need to look at all hans relationship to people not only at his relationship with his ex girlfriend.

Grandiose sense of self-importance

Grandiosity is the defining characteristic of narcissism. More than just arrogance or vanity, grandiosity is an unrealistic sense of superiority. Narcissists believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people. What’s more, they are too good for anything average or ordinary. They only want to associate and be associated with other high-status people, places, and things.

based on the movie : we don’t know. Hans want to be king but we don’t knows why we can say that hans want to be the hero of arendelle because he feel grandiose but this is only an assumption he could also feel useless and that’s why he want so much to be king and a hero. we can add also that Hans is not bothers by the idea of being associated with arendelle citizens. the movie never contradict the scene where he show concern for arendelle citizens and wants to take her of the peasant.

other information we have from a frozen heart : Hans feel useless as the 13th son of King he think he is useless , worthless a throwaway He feel we will never be needed. Hans feels inferior to his older brothers. It seems Hans wants attention only of basic people ? Nothing is say about him believing he think only special person can understand him. We only knows he wants the attention of his family.

complementary information : there is the argument that Narc have low self esteem yes but they are not conscious and aware like how hans is aware about his low self esteem. Hans dont compensate his low self esteem. also “ Recent research discounts the earlier theory and now indicates that if you are suffering from narcissistic personality disorder, you likely also have high self-esteem – both on the surface and below the surface.” source : Psyc

Narcissists also believe that they’re better than everyone else and expect recognition as such—even when they’ve done nothing to earn it. They will often exaggerate or outright lie about their achievements and talents. And when they talk about work or relationships, all you’ll hear is how much they contribute, how great they are, and how lucky the people in their lives are to have them. They are the undisputed star and everyone else is at best a bit player.

based only on the movie : we dont knows. again the only thing we have is “ i m gonna be the hero of arendelle” but saying hans think he is better than everyone because of that is to me too way much interpretation. it also contradict what it say previously Hans dont expect recognition without doing nothing. For him he need to do something and act like a hero to have arendelle respect.

complementary information on a frozen heart : Hans doesn’t except recognition without doing nothing. Hans believe he had to earn recognition. We know that he think he can be a good king but nothing about great exaggerate his achievement or talent,Also His father told him “ dont disappoint me…again” and he respond “ i wont” he knows he need to prove himself to have approval of his father. That’s what drive him to go in arendelle “ prove them wrong”Having to earn people affection is definitely one of hans goal

.Lives in a fantasy world that supports their delusions of grandeur Since reality doesn’t support their grandiose view of themselves, narcissists live in a fantasy world propped up by distortion, self-deception, and magical thinking. They spin self-glorifying fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, attractiveness, and ideal love that make them feel special and in control. These fantasies protect them from feelings of inner emptiness and shame, so facts and opinions that contradict them are ignored or rationalized away. Anything that threatens to burst the fantasy bubble is met with extreme defensiveness and even rage, so those around the narcissist learn to tread carefully around their denial of reality

.Based on the movie : we doesn’t knows.anything of that to me its making wayyy to much assumption about hans personality that were never show in the movie. we have maybe one moment : the duke of weselton criticized him when he give the cloaks hans is calm and say the princess has give her orders.he became aggressive when the duke criticized anna ( his key to the throne) not him. he is calm when this is about him. Hans is aggressive at the end when anna say to him he is not match for elsa. so we just dont know since Hans show different behavior. again they never told us why hans wants to be king he wants to be hero can be because he did live in a fantasy world but also because he dont live in a fantasy world and finally has his moment to shine.

others information on a frozen heart : somewhere we are in hans head ! so what told us ? in the beginning of a frozen heart hans has dream : only’s son of his father he told him how proud he is of him and this is time for him to give him his kingdom. then he stop and told himself : “ this is never gonna happened and he needs to stop making fantasy and dream about thing that never gonna happened his father hates him and needs to dealt with that. Hans doesn’t believe in his fantasy. He is not living in his fantasy. Then hans doesn’t react to thing that threaten his fantasy bubble by extreme defensiveness. on the contrary he is resigned to be a throwaway and worthless.

Needs constant praise and admirationA narcissist’s sense of superiority is like a balloon that gradually loses air without a steady stream of applause and recognition to keep it inflated. The occasional compliment is not enough. Narcissists need constant food for their ego, so they surround themselves with people who are willing to cater to their obsessive craving for affirmation. These relationships are very one-sided. It’s all about what the admirer can do for the narcissist, never the other way around. And if there is ever an interruption or diminishment in the admirer’s attention and praise, the narcissist treats it as a betrayal

.based on the movie : hans come from a family that ignore him and make him feel invisible. we can also say based on his relationship with anna for Hans its all about anna , please her , do what she wants , it is not one side because he wants to be king. arendelle , its all about him making them love him. lets also added it say Hans is a social chameleon. hans definitely has no problem making effort to win people heart. it is not one side. with Hans this is all about how he can please people to have what he wants. so we doesn’t exactly know but some element contradict that behavior

.based on a frozen heart : He doesn’t seems to show his behavior again since what he feels as a young adult in his mind is inferiority not superiority. He wants legitimate compliment not exaggerate compliment he want to have respect and he was going to deal with the fact that his father hates him arendelle was an idea from his brothers lars , hans , him was going to go to the brotherhood once his father say it.. so Hans can live without praise and admiration. Hans wants all the times to have his father proud of him have his respect trust , the king on the other hand humiliate hans and abuse him and doesn’t even respect him. The relationship between hans and his father is one side on hans part.

Sense of entitlement Because they consider themselves special, narcissists expect favorable treatment as their due. They truly believe that whatever they want, they should get. They also expect the people around them to automatically comply with their every wish and whim. That is their only value. If you don’t anticipate and meet their every need, then you’re useless. And if you have the nerve to defy their will or “selfishly” ask for something in return, prepare yourself for aggression, outrage, or the cold shoulder.

Based on the movie : dont know. all of that are too much interpretation. hans can feel special but also not special , he can think be a king is his right , but he can also want to be king for others reasons. so we just dont know. also again hans dont expect the people around him to automatically comply with his every wish and whim.

with the information on a frozen heart : Hans has a plan : going to elsa coronation in order to marry her. His reaction , he need to show his father than he can trust him and be responsible. He passed 3 years of his life doing that. Prove himself he is capable to have his trust. in the book it reveal hans dont feel special , he dont expect people to give him a favorable treatment since he is little hans was show that he need to prove himself and that it is never enough. Hans show a opposite behavior he has to prove himself to the whole world , arendelle , his father, his brothers. everything with him is earned and deserve. he needs to work hard

Exploits others without guilt or shame Narcissists never develop the ability to identify with the feelings of others—to put themselves in other people’s shoes. In other words, they lack empathy. In many ways, they view the people in their lives as objects—there to serve their needs. As a consequence, they don’t think twice about taking advantage of others to achieve their own ends. Sometimes this interpersonal exploitation is malicious, but often it is simply oblivious. Narcissists simply don’t think about how their behavior affects others. And if you point it out, they still won’t truly get it. The only thing they understand is their own needs.

based on the movie : hans do exploit others he exploit anna ! but he exploit others in order to achieve a plan he makes and prepare. we dont know how he view people in his life. and if hans exploit others when he doesn’t have a plan in mind and view them as object. the fact that he exploit anna is not enough to say he has the symptoms. also “ the only thing they understand is their own needs” is very uncertain since hans did not exploit arendelle citizens and show to be concern about their needs.

with a frozen heart : Hans did exploit others he exploit anna and elsa for his plan in arendelle and also hide his intention to his father in order to get what he wants. to the coronation. But he doesn’t do it without shame/guilt/empathy since After propose to help his father he show regret ans say to himself what i got myself into. Hans say that anna would be happy to insult him so he knows he has done something bad and can put himself in people’s shoes. He also say how he has never be a murderer. , He show also for a very short time empathy for the the queen who has lost her sister. so he has a conscience.We also knows hans doesn’t take people as object he show empathy for , his mother , ignore on her birthday , his sister in law also ignored by his brother , his horse maybe also , he has a normal relationship with his brothers lars.if he definitely is able to exploit others for his selfish interest but not in the same way narcissist exploit people. he dont take people as object in his life

.Frequently demeans, intimidates, bullies, or belittles others

Narcissists feel threatened whenever they encounter someone who appears to have something they lack—especially those who are confident and popular. They’re also threatened by people who don’t kowtow to them or who challenge them in any way. Their defense mechanism is contempt. The only way to neutralize the threat and prop up their own sagging ego is to put those people down. They may do it in a patronizing or dismissive way as if to demonstrate how little the other person means to them. Or they may go on the attack with insults, name-calling, bullying, and threats to force the other person back into line.

based on the movie : we dont know. i read hans bully anna and elsa and act like a bullier ? i dont really get it on the contrary hans is social chameleon he earn the trust of everyone and at the end didn’t bully anna he abandon her ! he definitely intimidate anna but the part “frequently” lack we just doesn’t knows.

based on the book : this one is interesting ! because hans do try some time to intimates people to have what he wants and even wants to thank his brothers but he also hates to do that at others part and prefer to be sweet to people , smart and not violent. he did it with oaken the duke of weselton men even mock him because of that. hans also say a lot of time that he is not violent he on the contrary try to please people to have what he wants. he offered the man a territory in his kingdom to have them on his side.we also learn that hans is victim of severe bullying he hate intimidates people , refuse to fight back dont want to act like his brothers and hates his brothers and how they treat him his brothers frequently dreams, intimidates , bullies , or belittle him. so if Hans did show at some part tried to intimidates the dignitaries or anna at the end this is not a part of the personality on his everyday life. he used two or three time intimidation as a tool to have what he wants

.conclusion ; i think we can say based only on the movie : say Hans has narcissist personality disorder is a based on a lot assumption about his character , there is even small some things he did than contradict some NPD behavior.with the additional information disney give us : hans doesn’t have the disorder he doesn’t have any symptoms. he exploit others but this is because he is an opportunist. there is also vulnerability narcissism who is not grandiose but Hans dont show the symptoms at all of narcissist. so grandiose or vulnerable this is not really the question. let’s also said that everyone has a level of narcissism because it is a spectrum and apparently too much narcissism is not necessarily a bad thing ( yeah read that somewhere)

#prince hans #hans #frozen #disney #hans westergaard #hans of the southern isles

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autisticheadcanons · 6 years ago

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kylo ren star wars though:

(i use she/her in the post bc World's Biggest Headcanon of her as a trans woman)

- many many people have pointed out the helmet and Yeah

- as a child had a lack of ability to distinguish between different peoples' thought processes and motivations, there's a name for this but i forget it. snoke was able to use this to easily manipulate a few bad experiences with adults into literally everyone is out to get you

- had some bad experiences with special ed programs also as a small child, only fuelling the everyone is out to get you mindset, making her extremely distrustful of authority and driving her to the voice in her head as the only one she could trust

(not that special ed programs are universally bad but i base this off of/use this to deal with some of the shit i've seen)

- special interests she was worried about sharing or having people find out about for how they would react, like weaponry, medical effects of violence, war history, the dark side, and ofc anakin/vader. probably had a couple bad reactions to her focusing on violence, even just worry about what that meant, and after that that was It for sharing literally anything

- as a result of these and also being different in multiple ways she can't place, growing up feeling extremely isolated

- so much dissociation. bad things happen, people try to get at her, she just shuts down. leans back on snoke's voice in her head.

- scripting! not necessarily the words themselves but sentence structure. "that lightsaber, it belongs to me" "the map, you've seen it" etc

- couldn't deal with her family's expectations of her so went into burnout, after running away to snoke eventually couldn't deal with what he was doing to her either and so has been slowly burning out for like the past year at least

- pain as a stim, uses it to ground herself & focus

- other stims: twirling or tossing her hair, twirling her lightsaber, hitting herself/the walls (for purposes of the motion rather than to cause pain), biting herself (the same, she specifically does this when she's nervous), listening to hard rock/heavy metal, dancing aggressively, practicing the same lightsaber drills repeatedly (she has a specific few she favours), chewing on her hair, rocking, flapping

- does The Hand Thing a lot (yknow, The Hand Thing? where you put your little paws up like you're a dinosaur or are going nyah?)

- feels self conscious about all of this and won't let anyone see her do it willingly besides snoke. still feels self conscious about it with snoke but that can't be helped

- a lot of people see her break down anyway bc she's held together with bile & spare bits of wire and loses all self control at the slightest provocation. she also starts stimming subconsciously when nervous

- is in bodily pain sometimes if she doesn't stim when she needs to. snoke taught her to funnel this into the dark side of the force but she doesn't like it, not like she likes pain stimming

- weird combo of hyperempathy and low empathy. that and extreme black and white thinking (she also has bpd which doesn't help) lead to the whole "i'm being torn apart." knows what she's doing is wrong, can't deal with what she's doing being wrong because snoke says what they're doing is right and snoke is Always Right. leans into low empathy whenever possible like a Good Ruthless Killer but any time she allows herself empathy it instantly collapses into extreme hyperempathy (see: rey)

- also as a result of this tends to hyperempathise with objects bc she has nowhere else to put it. she named all the appliances in her apartment. she has a roomba with a knife taped to it named darth stabby

- basically shoved a whole bunch of her natural inclinations down a hole for the purpose of being what snoke wanted. if she ever redeems herself she's going to have a Lot of recovering to do

- never lies spontaneously, only can if she's predetermined that she's going to and planned it

- lightsaber is comfort object. it's nice and heavy and she made it and it's Like Her

- is very bad at holding conversations that are not extremely extra because that's all she's learned how to do: intimidate people, snark, have breakdowns, and report to snoke

- is so intense literally all of the time

- can't identify sarcasm at all, but has gotten very good at guessing

- her favourite foods are ranch dressing and cake fondant. she likes the flavour and texture respectively

- other Good Textures: leather, soft stuff, plastics (she likes petting them), cool water (especially rain & showers)

- it has taken her a long, long time to think to question the way things are in her life, or to realise things can ever get better.

- after snoke's death she feels almost more haunted by his absence than his presence. she was so used to it, so used to having someone watching her at all times, so used to this painful dead weight in the back of her mind. it's eerie for her. she doesn't like that it's eerie for her. she doesn't like that part of her wants it back. but it's so empty in her head.

- she was holding herself together on wanting to please snoke, and now that that rudder is gone, she's going off the rails. she's going to crash and burn. she doesn't know how to recover, because she still interprets her family and the resistance/new republic as the people who hurt her, so she doesn't really have anyone to go to, anywhere to go, and she doesn't know how to do it on her own. the lynchpin of the contradictory life she built higher and higher for herself is gone by her own hand and now it's all crashed down around her ears. she might be able to pick up the pieces and actually figure out something for herself, but not in this environment

- though she does have the knights of ren (who are also all autistic) and who snoke kept from her having too close a bond with on purpose so she wouldn't start relying on people who weren't him. but she does have them, now. she's not completely alone.

- she could probably use a therapy dog and definitely not running the galaxy

- this post got away from me but wow i love her a lot

#actuallyautistic #autistic headcanon #kylo ren #star wars #trans headcanon #submission

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yuichiroswife · 6 years ago

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CHARACTER STUDY: Mikaela Shindō - Hyakuya, aka The Lonely Soldier

— BASICS.

▸ IS YOUR MUSE TALL / SHORT / AVERAGE? Mikaela, as a now immortal vampire, is a teen that’s about average height, considering he can no longer grow taller — additionally, he appears slightly taller due to his boots.

▸ ARE THEY OKAY WITH THEIR HEIGHT? Mikaela does not care about his height. To him height is nothing but a way to compare others differences, much like people do with one’s weight, as well.

▸ WHAT’S THEIR HAIR LIKE? Curly. A bit fluffy, with light waves near the ends. His hair is also very soft, as well as thin, thus why his hair tends to bounce so easily, or even appear to be blown around easily. Mikaela’s hair is a sunshine blond, and becomes a very pale blond (almost kinda white-ish) when nearing the roots of his hair/scalp. His ahoge is also this pale blond color, too.

▸ DO THEY SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON THEIR HAIR / GROOMING? Mikaela does spend quite a bit of time on his hair, not only because he wants it to look presentable when he’s out and about, but also to make sure it doesn’t serve as an issue on the battlefield.

▸ DOES YOUR MUSE CARE ABOUT THEIR APPEARANCE / WHAT OTHERS THINK? He doesn’t openly care about his appearance, to be honest. Though he does have a very big concern for it on the inside (mainly due to his whole idea of being a monster, causing him to not want to look like one too). He may not seem like he cares about another’s opinion, but he is very self-conscious about himself so he’s always trying his best to meet expectations.

— PREFERENCES.

▸ INDOORS OR OUTDOORS? Mikaela prefers to be outdoors due to loving nature, but is often found indoors. ▸ RAIN OR SUNSHINE? Rain. ▸ FOREST OR BEACH? Mikaela has a love for the beach. While he does have an equal sized interest in the forest as he does the beach, the beach has just been a place of interest since childhood.. ▸ PRECIOUS METALS OR GEMS? Gems are his thing, not because of they’re worth but because of how much beauty they hold. ▸ FLOWERS OR PERFUMES? Mikaela prefers flowers. While he does enjoy a nice smelling perfume once in a while (via his mother), he would much rather be amongst the flowers and smell a more natural fragrance.

▸ PERSONALITY OR APPEARANCE? Personality. ▸ BEING ALONE OR BEING IN A CROWD? Mikaela would much rather be amongst his loved ones, but is more or less seen alone. ▸ ORDER OR ANARCHY? It depends, he can go with either. ▸ PAINFUL TRUTHS OR WHITE LIES? Painful truths, along with some white lies. ▸ SCIENCE OR MAGIC? Depends. Mikaela has liked magic ever since he was a child, but he also enjoys science. ▸ PEACE OR CONFLICT? Mikaela prefers peace over conflict. ▸ NIGHT OR DAY? Night. ▸ DUSK OR DAWN? Dusk. ▸ WARMTH OR COLD? This depends, warmth is before becoming a vampire while cold is after becoming a vampire. ▸ MANY ACQUAINTANCES OR A FEW CLOSE FRIENDS? Mikaela prefers a few close friends. Otherwise he doesn’t really want to be around anyone. ▸ READING OR PLAYING A GAME? Reading, it’s educational, and it also helps to distract him from how cruel the world can be.

— QUESTIONNAIRE.

▸ WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR MUSE’S BAD HABITS? Mikaela tends to blame himself for things very often, whether the outcomes of such events were his fault or not. Much like he did with the Hyakuya orphans, he believes that he is the one who got the children killed, due to not being smart enough to see Ferid’s trap. Additionally, Mikaela also has a lot of self-hatred, which is also fueled by the death of the Hyakuya orphans (along with the fact that he is now the very monster that killed his family).

▸ HAS YOUR MUSE LOST ANYONE CLOSE TO THEM? HOW HAS IT AFFECTED THEM? Yes, Mikaela has lost many of the Hyakuya orphans. This tragic event has drastically affected Mikaela, so much so that he has grown to hate himself immensely; and blame himself for everything that happened that day, along with the fact that he made Yuu suffer through witnessing their deaths as well, which only made things worse. Mikaela has also developed paranoia because of this, along with a strong fear of making friends (mainly because he doesn’t want to see them die again) followed by a very cold exterior (of which he uses to protect himself, from vampires, and humans that may try to use him).

▸ WHAT ARE SOME FOND MEMORIES YOUR MUSE HAS? Believe it or not, some of his fond memories are from his childhood — not only from his time in the Hyakuya orphanage, but also when he was with his parents before they went insane.

▸ IS IT EASY FOR YOUR MUSE TO KILL? It is extremely easy for Mikaela to kill someone, especially if it’s for someone he loves.Otherwise he has a little bit of trouble doing so, an example of this being the time he killed Aiko Aihara. The reason it’s difficult for him to kill, is due to his lingering humanity (along with his desire to be human, and not a monster), that he clings onto.

▸ WHAT’S IT LIKE WHEN YOUR MUSE BREAKS DOWN? When Mikaela breaks down he does exactly that. He breaks to the deepest part of his core, and when this happens, Mikaela will either become absolutely hysterical or extremely enraged. There would be an endless stream of tears, and aggressive behavior, followed by a less sophisticated way of speaking, and might even attempt to do something dangerous, depending on the situation. To be honest, it all depends on what’s happening. He has different reactions to different things (such as a death) so the outcome varies. It ranges pretty vastly.

▸ IS YOUR MUSE CAPABLE OF TRUSTING SOMEONE WITH THEIR LIFE? Yes, but he can only do this with a very select bunch of people that he knows.

▸ WHAT’S YOUR MUSE LIKE WHEN THEY’RE IN LOVE? In the very beginning of a situation like this, Mikaela would be hesitant. He would be very unsure how to react, and even scared, due to never being in love before. He might even distance himself a bit, only because he’s afraid of hurting the other. Eventually, he would become very shy and bashful around said person, doing his very best to make small conversation with them. Though once he gains more confidence, he be more bold, and even daring. He would make sure to hold their hand wherever they went, give them affection, and try to boost their spirits, if that is possible. Mikaela would also be extremely protective, not because he doesn’t trust his lover, but because he doesn’t want to lose them.

TAGGED BY: @zuckarr

TAGGING TIME!: @noxallusia and anyone else who sees this if y’all wanna steal it.

#{ This was super cute and fun to do! }#{ Thank you for tagging me in this Yoichi! }#{ Sorry it's really late though. }#✠ [ ' 𝕴'𝖑𝖑 𝖇𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖈𝖆𝖕𝖊𝖌𝖔𝖆𝖙 𝖎𝖋 𝕴 𝖈𝖆𝖓. ' ] - ✡ 𝕴𝖓 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖊𝖗 ✡

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misha-has-a-wormstache · 6 years ago

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Serious Talk (Please Read)

I meant to post this earlier but I didn’t get the chance to even use my laptop until now (typing is hard on my phone). Even though I don’t usually talk about things that are too personal (unless I feel comfortable), I want to talk about three things that have been going on lately. One is a reblog from yesterday (that is something I’m super self-conscious about irl), my regression and something I’ve been going through.

I’ll talk about them in order since the first thing I mentioned isn’t that serious. The reblog I’m talking about is a user box that says ‘This user has motor tics’. It’s not that serious, but if you know me irl then you’ve seen how self-conscious I get when my tics are pointed out to me. Motor tics are physical twitches (like a head jerking to the side (which is actually really painful if it goes on for too long)) and they’re involuntary. Recently I went to a neurologist to find out what they were and we don’t know exactly what it is but they said that they were in fact motor tics. (I don’t remember why I wanted to talk about this)

The second thing I wanted to talk about is a bit more serious though, depending on what you see as more serious. My regression. If you’ve seen my posts lately you would see that I’ve reblogged quite a few things dealing with cglre (which stands for ‘caregiver little regression’, a completely sfw age regression). I’ve been becoming more comfortable with my regression lately, but that’s not what I wanted to talk about. In case you haven’t seen my other posts that have talked about this, I’ll briefly explain something. I’ve been extremely careful and cautious about my regression and who I talk to about it and who I know irl follows my Tumblr. This is because of how my family reacted to it. I’m scared that if I slip that somebody is going to barge in my room and snap at me about it. I’ve also been very stressed, depressed ans anxious lately (and, well, since around the beginning of summer this year) and I feel that has affected it a lot as well. I’ve had to constantly be serious and working hard. Whenever I felt Little (and sometimes I still do this), I’d force myself to stay big and not regress. If I did feel small while talking to somebody here then I’d usually apologize because I was stuck in a state of being half-regressed or I’d completely hide that I was feeling small in the slightest. This place has actually become my emotional support hellsite though because it’s helped me become more comfortable with it myself and my friends on here have helped a lot with that (I’m not going to name anyone in particular because I don’t know if any of them want me to).

The last thing I want to talk about is what’s been bugging me lately and I’m actually upset with myself that this has been bugging me. Maybe three or four years ago, I lost my cat. We got him before my parents’ divorce and he was originally my mother’s. When she left, she gave him to me. His name was Billy and was probably the sweetest cat that I’ve ever met. He never hissed or scratched at anyone no matter how rotten of a child I was. He had a gum disease for as long as I can remember, so his mouth was super sensitive to any touch and I was one of the few people he let pet anywhere near his mouth. I was almost near being over his death until my sibling asked if we had buried him in our old backyard (we said yes). I wanted to burst into tears. For a month, he was lost and nobody could find him and we were starting to think that he was dead. After that month, I found him in a place where I could tell that even in his last moments, he was thinking of me. I told my parents that I had found him and... unfortunately my siblings were in the area so there was no way for us to do bury him or have him cremated. We ended up throwing out his body. The same cat who stuck by me throughout the night when I was sick, who refused to act aggressive towards me at all and that I was given the duty of taking care of.

A few days ago, the night after I had finally been able to regress and be Little without too much nervousness, I had a bad dream. It wasn’t to the point of being a nightmare. During the entire thing, people were trying to convince me to leave a hospital room. I never really got too much of a look at the person in the bed, but I knew already who it was. My grandmother (or as I called her, Nana). Earlier this year, March 11th, that same grandmother passed away. Until that dream, I had almost gotten done grieving her death. I didn’t talk to her much and I never got to see her much either. About a week before she passed, I had gotten the news that she was terminally ill with a disease that caused her a lot of pain. During that week I had been given the chance to call and talk to her before she passed. I didn’t and I regret it every time I think about it. I was at the mall when I was told she was very close to death. That’s when I called. I had talked to her, but that was all. I wish so much that I could’ve gotten to talk with her again. I went to her wake and funeral. I couldn’t go anywhere near the casket without bursting into tears (I tried multiple times to go up and talk). During the wake, I had probably cried the most and I wasn’t even able to get out a word when we were talking about things we thought of when we thought of her. I don’t remember half of the funeral (can you guess why?). She wanted so much to talk to me before she died and I hadn’t called.

I just felt it was important to talk about these things.

#serious talk #tw: death #tw: depressing

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weightlossfitness2 · 5 years ago

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How to Get That Elusive Spark

The first gymnasium I skilled at seemed like a set from a 80’s motion film. From the surface, it seemed like an previous stone mill. Every member was given a key to get in and practice no matter time of day or night time you wished. At the doorway, there was a desk with a boombox, CD instances, and a clipboard to register with the date and time.

The gymnasium barely had gentle, and the ground seemed like an previous, soiled storage. The dumbbell rack was a mixture of previous cement dumbells, a few of them damaged or rusted, going as much as nearly 2 hundred kilos. There had been machines for bodybuilding untouched since these motion motion pictures had been launched. Toward the again, on the bottom flooring, there was a metallic spiral staircase that introduced you upstairs to the boxing space. It was a full flooring with each kind of punching bag, pads and gloves, and a full-sized ring with bloodstains on the canvas.

That gymnasium was the place I acquired heavy into weights. My father had launched me to gentle lifting in our basement as a younger child, however it wasn’t till I began boxing at that gymnasium that I began making an attempt to construct muscle and energy. It’s the place I first maxed out on a barbell elevate. That was nearly twenty years in the past. I’ve since maxed out many lifts in numerous gyms and at many kinds of barbell competitions since then, each small and huge.

The Wall We All Run Into

Walls in coaching are the imaginary boundaries we create and pit ourselves towards that maintain us from our potential and goal.

We aren’t discussing what retains us from doing the work, however as a substitute what retains us from pushing to the restrict of our energy capability. These partitions can present up in a contest, or throughout a coaching session the place you deliberate to elevate to a brand new max. It makes little distinction.

The wall is made up of delicate influences that restrain our effort. You maxed out. You mentioned aloud—and you recognize you would elevate a extra substantial weight—however you didn’t present them you would. What occurred?

Why Do We Limit Ourselves?

There are instances the place, from a physiological standpoint, you’re completely ready to succeed in a brand new max.

You’ve bodily peaked.

Nutrition is correct, and so is sleep.

You’re recovering as you need to and doing all of the issues to help that.

The coaching program was nicely designed and correctly deliberate.

Training went as deliberate, and each session was carried out precisely proper.

You lifted the meant weights throughout all periods, and also you felt recovered and able to go between each coaching day.

And but on the competitors or deliberate max out, you didn’t elevate the burden you had calculated you’ll.

Physically you had been ready. There’s nothing extra you would do. You failed, as a substitute, due to a limiting mindset, or a mentally limiting settlement, that you just’ve made with your self to borrow phrasing from the writer, Don Miguel Ruiz.

To deliver your fullest out there bodily capacities beneath aware management, it’s worthwhile to be taught to attach, but in addition deliver your psychological and emotional states beneath command. This isn’t straightforward, particularly not at first. It’s arduous to not get carried away by feelings or caught in a psychological whirlwind and let it management you rather than utilizing the vitality of it towards a singular effort.

This literal integration is key for a lot of to discover a place during which they will legitimately see the restrict of their energy that they’ve developed of their on-going coaching. They can acknowledge the successes this coaching has projected their maxes to be.

Feel, But Don’t Be Controlled

This diploma of arousal required to push to our actual restrict isn’t simply physiological or psychological in high quality however can be emotional. All of this suggestions must be harmonized to supply a robust, singular effort.

Barbell practices appeal to totally different character varieties. It can attract those that are wild, outwardly, passionate folks. But it additionally appeals to extra calculated, analytical varieties who deal with coaching as merely process-oriented.

But to achieve success in energy sports activities or progress within the barbell, even essentially the most methodical brains have to be taught to make use of a kind of inner warmth to push their limits. The outwardly calm lifters who’re profitable could not present it, however they’ve this spark and aggression inside them. Sometimes retaining all of it inside quite than letting it out in a loud public show could be extra helpful for that character kind.

Ed Coan, arguably the most effective powerlifter of all time, seemed chilly, calm, and calculated on the platform. But when requested about it, he mentioned that each time he lifted, there was a storm raging in his head. He known as it his managed aggression.

Don’t Slide Too Far

There’s undoubtedly a tipping level the place you cross a threshold and attain a degree of overstimulation. It’s an excessive amount of to make use of and as a substitute turns into ineffective, nearly hysterical vitality.

When I used to be competing in powerlifting in my early twenties, I lifted at a meet held within the faculty weight room the place I labored as a energy coach. It was my residence turf, and I wished to point out up. I labored myself right into a frenzy proper earlier than the competitors and took extreme quantities of caffeine as a result of it was the one means I knew attempt to push myself again then.

I felt fairly respectable warming up, however as I used to be about to step out for my opening try, I turned means too jittery and overexcited, nearly to the purpose the place I felt agitated. My vitality degree and pleasure had been by way of the roof, however none of it helpful.

I bombed out at that competitors; I believe it was my first time doing that. I couldn’t focus, couldn’t harness any aggression, couldn’t grow to be conscious, current, and fixated on this single process. It was an impotent depth.

It by no means reached a peak however as a substitute simply stayed as a low hum. I had a lot vitality left over after the competitors, that I instantly put myself by way of a dumbbell exercise to repair what I assumed was the explanation I failed. But wanting again, I in all probability simply did it to punish myself.

There’s a balancing act you flirt with when integrating the physique and spirit. You have to discover ways to work your self proper as much as that pink line with out going over it.

An Interconnection

Harnessing the vitality it’s worthwhile to carry out your finest doesn’t finish with studying rein in your ideas and management your emotions.

There’s an nearly esoteric peace to reaching the specified state the place you hit a groove, and practically any weight placed on the bar for the day could be lifted. While there are particular strategies we will focus on, the exploration inward is profoundly private and can take a unprecedented effort to determine your specific triggers.

Visualization

If you’re all for studying a sensible information into perceive and observe visualizing, I extremely advocate the guide Mind Gym. It’s the one useful resource I’ve come throughout that offers you workable, real looking strategies to enhance bodily efficiency by way of creativeness.

My largest takeaway from the guide was how imaginative your visualization must be. The writer directs athletes to first recall their finest efficiency up to now. Think of the next components of that have:

How you felt.

What you would scent.

What had been the shapes and colours of every thing round you?

Can you bear in mind how the barbell felt in your hand or in your again?

Can you bear in mind the standard of your mind-set?

What was the feeling of being so engrossed in your effort that you just instinctively reacted bodily?

After you create a vivid image out of your reminiscence, the writer recommends taking not solely the visible but in addition the emotions and mind-set and spirit and apply it to think about a future competitors whenever you wish to carry out nicely.

The concept is to take the identical emotional state you simply recalled out of your reminiscence and picture your self on this future, taking with you an identical spirit. With this sense, envision how issues will really feel, look, and scent. Then see your self conducting what you goal for, each by way of your individual eyes and the gaze of a 3rd individual.

Definite Belief

I exploit such a visualization and see the potential profit in it, but it surely by no means actually suited my specific temperament. What all the time did enhance my efficiency was a particular perception. This is totally different from a standard perception, and it’s very summary in high quality. It’s a manifestation of the fact you wish to occur. It’s an assumption it would come true and recalling it towards your residing current.

Much of the idea you can carry out on the highest degree comes from the arrogance of previous success. If you’ve had success, you’ll be able to recreate it, and naturally, observe in competitors or in maxing out makes you higher at it. Still, some appear to have a proclivity towards self-belief, even when inexperienced within the observe. And some appear to by no means actually get it, regardless of constant coaching and expertise.

Those who by no means handle to muster perception have limiting beliefs from an important developmental interval of their youth. They presumably had optimistic, wholesome encouragement withheld by their mother and father and different adults. They might have grown up by no means realizing that it’s attainable to alter the bodily actuality round them by way of their centered efforts. But I’m not an skilled to discuss this.

The perception I’m referring to, although, is just not about squashing or ignoring all doubt. I do know this was by no means the case for me. Even the most effective opponents will admit that at the least a few of the time, they’ve fractional doubts throughout low factors in coaching and even at moments throughout competitors. It’s not about eliminating all doubts; it is about accepting them as part of the entire and making room for them.

Accept and Make Room

This is one thing that I used to be in a position to take into my meditation observe to make me a extra introspective individual, which then I, in flip, might suggestions into how I approached my lifting.

Negative, distracting ideas come up. Constricting and shutting them off places limits in your development and capability to remain aware. We all have to be taught to see the worry, doubt, and pessimism. Then we have to perceive that these are solely emotions and ideas, and never essentially a part of you and never all of who you might be. Just as a result of we now have an concept, doesn’t imply that thought is us.

Believe it or not, the story of Buddha’s enlightenment speaks to how essential it’s to see the limiting beliefs that maintain us from reaching our bodily targets. I am speaking concerning the story right here, not faith—and it’s all a narrative.

The story goes that when Siddhartha (the Buddha) sat all the way down to meditate and he was on the point of really reaching his enlighted state, the god of all issues awful man, Mara, got here at him, tempted him, after which despatched demons to assault him. But none of it harmed Siddhartha, and he reached his enlightenment.

After the Buddha went on to show others, Mara would nonetheless present up occasionally, and the Buddha would see him. The Buddha’s assistants would develop afraid and overwhelmed that Mara had proven up. But the Buddha would acknowledge his presence and even name out to say: I see you, Mara. And because the story goes, the Buddha additionally invited him to take a seat and have tea with him.

And that’s it—that’s the intangible high quality we want after we got down to push our limits. We see the doubt, the worry, and the rock we now have to push up the mountain, after which we settle for it for what it’s. We acknowledge that it’s there and simply part of every thing, a part of the entire.

But we will have the presence of thoughts to know that we don’t have to act in a different way. We don’t have to suppose these random ideas that seem are a part of us; they’re simply there. And we will make area for these ideas and emotions and nonetheless act decisively towards our purpose.

If you want extra confidence behind you for these massive moments the place you max out your squat and really feel such as you lack the instruments, try our free information on the rules of squatting. It’s a free video that may enable you to construct a extra stable basis for your self.

Jesse competes within the sport of Olympic weightlifting, and he was additionally previously a aggressive powerlifter. He was featured in important energy and health publications. You can learn extra of his work on his web site.

The post How to Get That Elusive Spark appeared first on Weight Loss Fitness.

from Weight Loss Fitness https://weightlossfitnesss.info/how-to-get-that-elusive-spark-2/

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crimethinc · 7 years ago

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Squaring off against Fascism–Critical Reflections from the Front Lines: An Interview

In the three weeks since anarchists helped shut down the largest fascist rally the US has seen in decades, the pendulum has swung back and forth between new public support for anti-fascist organizing and a dishonest, fearmongering reaction spearheaded by the extreme center that plays right into the hands of far-right elements in the police and FBI. Now, fascists are shifting towards a strategy of decentralized attacks while the Trump administration prepares a new racist offensive against nearly a million residents of the United States. It’s more pressing than ever to learn from our victories in order to strategize for the next round. We spoke with a participant in the front lines of the clashes in Charlottesville about why an under-equipped anti-fascist contingent was able to defeat a more numerous body of fascists, how to halt the creep towards authoritarianism, and what courage means in these struggles.

In Charlottesville, on Friday night, August 11, if the torchlit march had not encountered any protesters around the monument or elsewhere—if it had been able to proceed without meeting any opposition—what do you think the consequences would have been?

Well, it’s easy to be doctrinaire when you’re speculating. I mean, any time fascists do something provocative without opposition, it sets a new baseline for them. It’s like, “Oh, marching with torches and chanting ‘Blood and Soil’ is a pretty low-key thing to do, let’s always do that at our gatherings from now on. It’s fun and easy!” But I think it strengthens their movement even more when they encounter opposition that they can easily defeat, which is what actually happened on Friday. If that had been the only event in Charlottesville, or if the rest of the weekend had gone the same way, it would have been a gift to their movement.

I try to imagine the perspective of a fresh young recruit. He’s posturing and puffing himself up, but he’s nervous too. He feels awkward putting on that white polo shirt, he feels nervous carrying a torch at first. But then he sees everyone around him doing the same thing, his voice is amplified by a hundred voices saying the same words as him, and that nervousness turns into elation. So right there, his body learns an important lesson: “When I feel scared, these are the people who make me safe. When I feel weak, these are the people who make me strong.” This is like church, you know. That whole process happens even if not a single counter-protestor shows up. He already knows that most of the world is against him.

If there’s tangible, physical opposition, the nervousness is going to be more intense, but so is that gut-level lesson learned from a victory. So when we confront these things, we should recognize that we’re raising the stakes. I think groups like the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) fixate on that side of things when they try to discourage people from counter-protesting. I think their attitude is, we can’t do anything about these young men’s acculturation into hate groups, but we can deny them opportunities to really get hardened. Or maybe they think that acculturation happens in internet forums, not torch marches. I don’t know. I think anarchists sometimes understand this process better than sociologists, because we’ve been through something similar, in subcultural spaces or street marches or whatever.

Also—about what happened Friday night—we’re not static. Even when we take a loss that strengthens the movement we’re fighting against, it can strengthen us too. Friday night seriously shook people, but it probably made us more determined and smarter on Saturday. I almost want to say wiser. We knew exactly what kind of victory we needed to deny them, and we knew we would have to do it without the advantage of physical superiority. If no one had showed up to oppose them on Friday, maybe we would have made worse mistakes the next day, against a sharper adversary. There’s no way to know.

Why were anti-fascists not as prepared to respond on Friday night? Can you say anything about the motivations of those who still chose to confront the torchlit march?

The details of that march were announced much later, that’s the main thing. Also I think some kinds of counter-protestors are always going to stay away from a nighttime event like that, because it’s more likely to be crazy. Some people were prepared, but it was just different situations.

I do think Friday highlighted one weakness we have right now, which is that we don’t share much common culture around assessing our group capacity in the heat of the moment. I’ve seen this at other events too. Some of us are used to quietly running the numbers when we’re in a crowd and adjusting the approach accordingly., asking ourselves, you know, what are the odds we can successfully unarrest people if there are issues with the police? Or what are the odds we can physically prevent this group of white supremacists from reaching their destination? Other people, maybe people who aren’t drawing on the same kinds of street experience or think of their goals differently, seem to approach those questions morally rather than situationally. Like, we must not let them reach their destination, therefore we shall not let them reach their destination.

I’m not saying there’s a single correct way to look at it, but if we’re not having those conversations constructively outside of these crisis moments, it’s not good. Those conversations are part of building a strong movement culture.

No dignity in fascism.

On Saturday, it appeared that counter-demonstrators were outmatched by fascists in terms of muscle mass, equipment, numbers, and terrain. It was a terrifying situation. Yet anti-fascists did unexpectedly well in the confrontations. What do you attribute this to?

I think the antifascists had a deeper understanding of diversity of tactics. The presence of counter-protestors with a personal commitment to nonviolence was important, I think, and so were the diverse approaches of those who did use physical force, I mean as far as acting more offensively or defensively.

Unite the Right was all about image. They wanted three things: they wanted to look like victims of antifa/“SJW” aggression, to look like friends of the police, and to look like they were winning the physical battle in the streets. I think all those wires got crossed in Charlottesville because of the diversity of their opposition.

As a side note, we made a conscious decision not to do Saturday in black bloc. I think that helped in those specific circumstances.

So diversity of tactics was important. A lot of these alt-right people are scared of confrontation, even though they fantasize about power. You could tell that made it hard for them to psychologically switch gears; by the time they figured out how to deal with one kind of counter-protestor, the situation had changed and they had to go back to square one. They had to think too hard. They didn’t know if they were going to get punched or prayed at. And the whole time they’re getting pelted with paint balloons, and they just look silly.

Then you had macho types who reacted to that paralysis by going ham, charging in swinging by themselves. That was scary, because these were big dudes who understood violence, but it didn’t really serve their larger goals, and they lost fights because we would surround them and beat them back. It didn’t help those guys that their official rally was up a hill behind barricades.

Finally, there were the guys in full-on riot gear, plexiglass shields and clubs and face-shields, stuff like that. They had a hard time early in the day, marching into the park, because they couldn’t figure out what kind of confrontation they were in; they wanted to beat us up but they wanted it to look like our fault, and they came out worse on both counts. Later, they regrouped, and it seemed like they were ready to crack some skulls in a more paramilitary style: charge out of the park in formation and just trample whoever was in their way. I think that would have happened more if the rally had gone on longer, because they were starting to give up on the whole image thing. We should have had more tools to obscure their vision and keep them at a distance. But the cops dispersed the rally before it went there. I think we can take some credit for that.

This sounds weird, but I think anarchists might have better discipline than Nazis, at least in this kind of situation. Fascists had the advantage when things were really scripted, and a lot of them would have had the advantage in a one-on-one fight, but they were just clumsy when it came to navigating a complex situation. I guess what I’m talking about here is self-discipline. But it has this real communal aspect to it, because we actually care about each other and pay attention to each other, like not just our cliques and affinity groups, but also strangers. You can’t fake that. You can’t squeeze that out of an authoritarian ideology.

Fascists were better equipped than counter-protestors in Charlottesville, yet failed to gain the upper hand.

Some have reported that it was very important that there were guns on the anti-fascist side of the conflict, to discourage fascists from escalating past a certain degree of force. Others have expressed concern about whether guns can be a useful tool in struggles for liberation. Coming away from Charlottesville, what is your impression?

I don’t know if guns were an important deterrent as the day wore on. Maybe they were early on before things really started, when we were just milling around several blocks away. Realistically, if a Nazi had started shooting later in the rally no one would have had a clear shot before he emptied his clip, and once the gunfire started the crossfire would be hellish. So I guess it depends what kind of threat you think was deterred. Probably the deterrent effect was a factor in the open areas where more one-on-one fights happened—you might not pull a knife in the open if you think there’s a chance you’re being covered. But on that topic, the possibility of getting stabbed makes you pretty careful too. We were all thinking about Sacramento.

I can see an argument that the possibility of handguns mixed in the crowd would discourage the guys with shields and clubs from rushing in too aggressively. Maybe it put more pressure on them to stay in very tight formation, which limits how aggressive you can get with a club. I’m just speculating here—I still think the concern with image was a bigger factor for them. Anyway, that’s different from the militia-style, open carry rifles that some people had.

I guess I did see a neo-Confederate man in the front lines reach for his pistol and then change his mind when we yelled that he had a gun. He settled for an extendable baton instead. So that’s an example where knowing that you can be identified and targeted will convince you to keep your own weapon holstered. That deterred him from brandishing a gun, though. He really did have a self-defense mentality, even if it was a racist, delusional one; he was going to pull his gun to “deter” the mob he was facing. It would have been very different if his primary goal had been to kill people.

As soon as you start talking deterrence, you’re talking about an arms race. I think that’s a danger whether the weapons in question are guns, knives, or plexiglass shields. You lose the social character of the struggle and you lose the diversity of tactics. I don’t mind being around assault rifles, but I do mind the paramilitary mentality. We’re susceptible to that mentality when fear clouds our thinking.

If you get into an arms race with a bunch of scared people who have little or no experience of gun violence—I’m talking about antifascists as well as the alt fascists, we’re scared too—you’re creating an extremely volatile situation. All it takes is one jumpy person pulling a trigger.

Probably the only thing you can do is think very concretely about what you’re trying to deter. Reflect. What you’re doing has to be based in experience—yours or a mentor’s or something—and it has to be realistic about the big picture. Otherwise, you’ve just got a very risky security blanket.

Do you have any thoughts about what approaches we should expect fascists to take in the wake of Charlottesville?

It’s a dangerous time. They’ve already lost the battle to look like victims, so some of them will be happy to look like successful aggressors. That could certainly mean they go in the direction of clandestine attacks, but it could also mean they show up at these things looking like Roman legionnaires and they rush us first, hard. Our best defense is numbers, which maybe we have now. Obviously, there are tactical questions for us too.

On the other hand, some of them may try to move back toward a mass movement, and away from the fringe. They might stick to being the “pro-white bloc” at Trump rallies.

What do the events in Charlottesville mean for the strategy of Richard Spencer, who seeks to popularize a new “respectable” white supremacy?

He lost. His strategy lost. The President tried running interference for him, but it didn’t work. I mean, these suit-and-tie Nazis can’t change their character overnight, so they’ll keep trying the same rhetoric, but it’s going to be a dwindling audience.

On the other hand, that rhetoric does enable young alt-right recruits to remain in denial about what they’re signing up for. For the most part, they think they’re the Freikorps, but not the Final Solution. We should also remember, again, that clashes like the ones we’ve been seeing can harden these kids. So the ones who don’t drop out because of fear or shame are becoming a more dangerous kind of cadre. The respectability strategy is basically over, but the same individuals can now go about consolidating their gains.

Can anti-fascists take credit for the ouster of Stephen Bannon? Will his return to Breitbart and the grassroots far right embolden fascists and give them more momentum? Beyond the obvious strategy of “no platform for fascists,” what role should anti-fascist activity play in our struggle against the state, the chief implementer of totalitarian measures?

I don’t really care who takes credit for Steve Bannon’s career change, but I don’t really see it emboldening the far right. You know, the Democrats want to tell it like Charlottesville got Bannon kicked out, because that shifts the focus back to the Oval Office and out of the streets. It might have. I don’t know. I’m glad he’s out, but it’s not my focus. I’m not sure he cares whether he’s directing his movement from inside the institutions or from outside.

What I anticipate is that he’ll try to create a home for all the young people who don’t want to go to Nazi rallies anymore, he’ll push this “alt-left” nonsense, basically he’ll try to do a better version of Richard Spencer’s strategy. That means no Nazis, no Klansmen, just nice Midwestern church people who wouldn’t mind seeing the police gun us down. I’m not sure the momentum is with him now, but we’ll see.

As for the state. We’re still in the midst of an authoritarian backlash in the broader culture, alongside the white backlash. Trump draws on it, but so do his opponents. If you’re trying to get a popular mandate for authoritarian governance, you present yourself as the only force able to contain irreconcilable, violent conflicts within society. That’s what Trump was doing when he talked about the “many sides” of violence in Charlottesville, and I’m sure that’s what his centrist opposition will do when they try to replace him.

Anti-authoritarian can respond to that one of two ways. You can double down on the irreconcilable social conflicts, and say it’s our job to bring them out into the open and fight consciously from the side of the exploited—you know, refuse an oppressive social peace. Or you can dispute the state’s claim that it can resolve people’s conflicts better than we can resolve them on our own. Who does it serve when we perceive our conflicts as irreconcilable, and why do we have to listen to those voices?

Right now, people like Bannon are pushing a vision of a society threatened by deep, irreconcilable conflicts, but they’re not the conflicts a leftist would talk about. They’re citizen vs. alien, West vs. Islam, and so on. We can push for a different way of seeing the structural divisions in our society, and put our bodies on the line for those beliefs, but if that’s all we do we’re giving a lot of ground to authoritarians who want to be the neutral party. I’m talking about mom-n-pop authoritarians, not just the deep state. So I think we have to bring the idealist side of anarchism with us too: don’t just challenge the analysis of our society’s real conflicts, but challenge the state’s claim to protect us from each other. Challenge the belief that we have always needed protection from each other, and always will.

We must not let clashes like the one in Charlottesville confirm the right-wing narrative that mutually beneficial coexistence is impossible.

In Europe, one of the anarchist critiques of antifascism has been that it obscures the necessity of struggle against the state, capitalism, and other forms of domination. Do you see this as a risk in the US? Why or why not?

Like, we imagine that as soon as the last Nazi is dealt with, capitalism and the state will come crumbling down of their own accord, and trans women won’t have to worry about getting murdered for their gender? I don’t see that risk. If you just mean that antifascism can tie down anarchists and keep them from prioritizing the work they really believe in—well, of course it can. It’s a defensive struggle. Defense only works if you’re poised to counterattack, and our best counterattack will always be social movements for liberation.

What I do see is that our experiences of struggle deeply shape our imaginations. That’s true whether your experience is rioting, or community organizing, or fighting Nazis, or just daily survival in a world that wants to erase you. You start to imagine the whole revolution as just whatever struggle you’re used to, but on a larger scale. In addition, you may be limited by your learned instincts and the culture you build up around them.

That may be a problem for the generation that’s been radicalized in the Trump era. There’s the potential for a kind of creeping authoritarianism on the left—the revolutionary left I mean. You know, that whole mythology of the militant. It can obscure the necessity of struggle against—not the state of today, but the state of tomorrow.

But you know, we have a choice about that. We don’t have to be determined by our experiences, even if we’re shaped by them. We can have a more expansive vision of struggle. We can choose what we’re struggling for.

The site of Heather Heyer’s death.

Clearly, it takes a lot of courage to physically confront armed fascists. What does courage mean for antifascists? What kind of courage should we be trying to cultivate? What are the risks of focusing on courage as a value?

Courage is being willing to die for the sake of victory. That’s a straightforward definition. And that is exactly what happened in Charlottesville. One of us died, and we had a victory. That might sound inspiring to some people, but to me it’s fucking nauseating, it makes me want to cry. I mean, I didn’t know Heather, I don’t know if she was preparing herself for the possibility of death. She’s not around to tell us if she wants to be a hero. I do know that some of us entered that weekend consciously accepting that we might die, or that our comrades and loved ones might die. When you take on that kind of mindset, it leaves some scars. I just can’t think about this question in an abstract way.

Some people talk about courage like it’s just a matter of inner righteousness or integrity or something. I disagree with that idea. You can be a person of great integrity, ready to go through the fire for your beliefs, but when it comes time to use the weapons at your disposal you’re too hesitant to make a contribution. Our understanding of courage should capture that readiness to step forward and act without guarantees. That’s why I say it’s about victory.

This isn’t about violence versus nonviolence. Some of the most courageous people I saw in Charlottesville were not throwing punches; they were dressing wounds, or praying, or standing alone in front of a line of advancing riot cops. Those people were all using the weapons at their disposal.

I guess the risk is that courage alone can’t guide you. I mean, courageous soldiers can fight imperialist wars, but that doesn’t make them right. Honor and sacrifice can fuel a spiral of meaningless violence. Sometimes the things that make you hesitate when you shouldn’t are also the things that make you reassess your direction when really you should.

If you want to back way up and look at it, courage is a warrior value, and anarchism is a peace movement. I mean that in the very simple sense that it’s about people treating each other right without being forced to. That’s peace. Obviously, there’s fighting involved too. I’m just not convinced that the things that make us strong in the face of adversity are always the things that make us good to one another, or that being ready for war makes you ready for peace. Maybe that just comes back to making sure that your vision of victory is really worth dying for.

People in Oakland rallying in solidarity with those who fought fascism in Charlottesville.

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