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itneverendshere · 5 months ago

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LOVED YOU AT YOUR WORST - r.c series - NINE

pairings: ex!sweethearts; rafe x thornton!reader; rafe x sofia. chapter warnings: mentions of leukemia; death; pregnancy; abortion.

💌MASTERLIST

Rafe had been through a ton of traumatic bullshit by the age of fourteen.

His mom had been battling leukemia since he was ten, it started off as an infection—but it turned into one of those long, drawn-out wars that tricks you into thinking there’s hope when there isn’t.

It would go away for a bit, just enough to make everyone think the fight was over, and then it’d come slamming back worse every time.

When he was fourteen, it finally took her for good, when he’d been silly enough to believe she might pull through.

To be fair, he was only a little kid waiting on a miracle, praying she’d wake up one day magically cured.

Now, when he looked back on it, he hated himself for being so naive. The signs had been there all along, the nurses whispering in the hallways, Ward turning into this void of a human, who looked at him like he didn’t know how to fix it anymore. The talks his mom would have with him about how “no matter what happens, you’ll be okay.”

That phrase haunted him for years.

Her death didn’t wreck him; it tore him apart and left him in tiny pieces that didn’t fit together the same way. He wasn’t the same kid afterward, not even close.

He got angrier, distant.

He didn’t recognize who he’d been before it all—some kid who really believed in happy endings.

He didn’t believe in much after she died, people let you down, life ripped everything good out of your hands. Why bother holding on to anything at all?

It wasn’t just the grief; it was the guilt.

He’d get mad at her, sometimes, for being sick. He’d slam his door and cry into his pillow because he just wanted a normal life, a mom who wasn’t always tired or in pain or hooked up to some machine.

He hated himself for that.

The day of her funeral, he remembered everything, even though he wished he didn’t. The church smelled like old wood and lilies, that smell that never left you once it sank in.

People kept coming up to him, patting his shoulder, saying things like, “She’s in a better place now,” or “Stay strong, buddy.”

He wanted to yell at them, shake them, make them shut up. She wasn’t in a better place. A better place would’ve been here, alive, laughing at his dumb jokes, or rolling her eyes at him for leaving his shoes in the hallway. It wouldn’t be six feet under, locked in a box, shoved into a hole in the ground like she never existed.

He didn’t cry, not when they opened the casket for everyone to say their final goodbyes, not when his dad stood up and choked through some half-assed speech that was mostly apologies and memories, not when they lowered her into the ground, the ropes creaking as her casket disappeared into the earth.

He just stood there, hands in his pockets, staring straight ahead, as if he wasn’t even present. Inside, though?

His his chest was on fire.

He refused to let even a single tear fall, it felt pointless, it wasn’t going to bring her back. It wasn’t going to fix anything. And deep down, he thought he didn’t deserve to cry, if he’d been stronger if he’d prayed harder, or been a better son, she’d still be alive.

The sound he remembered the most was the thud of dirt hitting the coffin after the service. It was final, loud, the earth itself mocking him. People around him sniffled, hugged each other, wiped at their eyes, but Rafe just stood there, staring down into the hole, fists buried in his pockets until his nails dug into his palms.

He kept thinking about how wrong this all was, this wasn’t where she was supposed to end up, and none of this was fair.

She should’ve been there.

She should’ve been standing next to him, arm around his shoulder, telling him to stop slouching, whispering something to make him laugh in the middle of all this sadness. Instead, she was in there, soon the dirt would cover it up, and that’d be it.

Gone. Just like that.

After the service, Rafe didn’t try to stick around for the house gathering, he wasn’t going to survive that. All those people crowding the living room, balancing paper plates of casserole, acting like they gave a fuck about his mom. It was fake, all of it.

They’d forget about her in a week.

He slipped out when no one was paying attention, cutting through the side yard and heading to the only place that felt halfway normal—the old skate park behind the rec center. It was run-down as fuck, but he and his friends used to hang out there all the time, sitting on the busted ramps, talking trash, or just doing nothing.

When he got there, it was empty, which was exactly what he wanted. He climbed up on the old half-pipe, sitting cross-legged with his elbows on his knees, staring at the cracked pavement below.

He couldn’t stop replaying the day in his head, the casket, the dirt, the stupid better place comments. His chest felt like it was breaking in a million tiny pieces, but he still couldn’t cry, his body just wouldn’t let him.

Instead, he just sat there, wishing the world would leave him alone for five minutes.

That’s when he heard footsteps behind him.

He thought about running—didn’t need anyone seeing him like this, especially not now. But then you spoke.

“Figured I’d find you here.”

He didn’t look at you right away, just exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah? Well, congrats. You win the prize.”

He wasn’t in the mood to be nice, even to you.

But you didn’t flinch, you never did. That’s one of the things he liked about you—you didn’t get scared off when he got like this. You just climbed up next to him and sat down.

You didn’t try to say all that comforting bullshit people had been feeding him all day, and he was grateful for that.

“You okay?” you asked eventually.

He snorted. “Do I look okay?”

"Sorry, stupid question."

He sighed, hating that he was being asshole to his best friend, "It's fine."

When he finally glanced at you, you were watching him, trying to figure out what to say. It made him nervous, the way you looked at him. You always did that—you cared about what was going on in his head, you saw more than what he let people see.

“I’m not gonna sit here and pretend I know what you’re feeling,” you said finally. “But you don’t have to do this alone, Rafe. You know that, right?”

If only you knew what you would be going through just three short years later.

He wanted to snap at you, tell you to leave, he was fine, but the words wouldn’t come. Instead, he just stared down at the pavement again, “Feels like I do.”

You didn’t say anything, just moved closer, close enough that your arm brushed against his. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to make him feel…something, less alone.

Rafe didn’t know how long you both sat there, could’ve been ten minutes, could’ve been an hour. Time didn’t feel real anymore, you didn’t push him to talk, which he appreciated more than he’d ever admit, you didn’t throw out any of those awkward “it’ll get better” lines. You just sat with him.

“You can talk to me, you know.”

He shook his head without looking at you. “There’s nothing to say.” His voice was rough, flat. “She’s gone. That’s it.”

“You don’t have to pretend like it doesn’t suck."

He clenched his jaw, staring at the pavement like if he looked at you, everything would break.

“What’s the point?” he muttered. “Crying’s not gonna change anything. It’s not gonna—” His voice cracked, and he swallowed hard, trying to force it back.

“Rafe.” You sighed, and this time “You don’t have to hold it together for anyone, okay? It’s me.”

That broke him, actually broke him. His chest felt tight, suddenly he couldn’t keep it in.

His breath hitched, his shoulders shook, and before he knew it, tears were sliding down his face. He tried to stop it, to hide it, scrubbing his hands over his face, but it was no use.

“Shit,” he choked out, his voice cracking once more.

“Hey, hey,” you said quickly, and before he could pull away or do something stupid like tell you to leave, you scooted over.

He froze for a second, unsure what to do, but then he remembered the funeral, the whispers, the dirt hitting the casket, all the things he couldn’t stop thinking about—he just let it all out.

The first sob ripped out of him so suddenly it startled him, he hunched over, elbows on his knees, hands gripping his hair, as if he could physically stop himself from breaking. But it didn’t work.

Another sob followed, and then another, and soon they were pouring out of him—loud, messy, completely out of his control. He couldn’t stop it, and he hated it.

He leaned into you, his forehead pressing against your shoulder, and just cried. When he felt your arms instantly wrap around him, pulling him into a hug as if you’d been waiting for his permission, he shattered completely.

“She’s—” His voice caught in his throat, and he had to stop, gasping for air as the tears kept coming. “She’s gone. She’s gone, and I—” He broke off.

It was ugly and loud and nothing like how he’d pictured himself breaking down, but he didn’t care. You didn’t tell him it’d be okay or try to make him stop, just held him, your arms tight around him.

“I miss her,” he whispered, his voice so small it barely sounded like him. “I miss her so much, and I—I don’t know what to do.”

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d cried like this, and part of him hated how exposed it made him feel. He hated crying in front of people—anyone. But right now, with you, he didn’t feel embarrassed.

“I know,” you nodded, your hand moving in small circles on his back. “I know. I’m so sorry.”

“I—” he choked out, his voice breaking. “I can’t—this isn’t—it’s not fair.”

“It’s not,” you didn’t want to scare away the fragile pieces of him that were finally surfacing. “It’s not fair. None of it is.”

He couldn’t stop shaking or gasping for breaths that hitched in his chest. The more he tried to push it all backdown, the harder it fought to claw its way out. For years, he’d kept it buried—buried so deep he thought he’d never have to deal with it.

“I hate it,” he managed, the words tumbling out in a jagged mess. “I hate that she’s gone. I hate that I didn’t—” He stopped, gripping his hair harder. “I didn’t do enough. I should’ve been better, done something—anything.”

“Stop. You can’t do that to yourself.”

He shook his head violently, “But I did. I gave up on her. I stopped believing she’d get better, I—I got mad at her for being sick. What kind of son does that? I didn’t even say goodbye the way I should’ve. I just—I left the hospital because I couldn’t take it anymore, and then she—” His voice cracked again, and his hands dropped from his hair to his lap, clenched into fists “She’s gone, and I left. I wasn’t there when she—” His breath hitched, and he buried his face in his hands.

“You’re a kid. It’s not your fault, okay? None of this is.”

“But it feels like it is,” he shot back, “I should’ve done something, anything. I just feel so—” He stopped, letting out a shaky exhale. “Empty. Like nothing I do matters anymore.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

The way you said it, so certain—He didn’t know why, but it cut through the noise in his head just enough to let him breathe again.

“I don’t know how to keep going,” he admitted, “I don’t know how t-to live without her.”

Growing up, Rafe had always been a momma’s boy.

She was his safe place—the one person who didn’t make him feel like he had to be someone else. With her, he didn’t have to try so damn hard to be tough, or perfect, or whatever the hell his dad wanted him to be.

Ward wasn’t the kind of dad who let his kids cry on his shoulder or told them he loved them every day. No, Ward was the kind of dad who believed in rules.

Men didn’t cry. Men didn’t show weakness. Men didn’t mess up—or, if they did, they sure as hell didn’t admit it.

He expected Rafe to follow those rules like they were gospel.

The worst part? His rules about what it meant to be a man stuck with Rafe, even when he didn’t want them to. When his mom got sick, he found himself choking back tears in the hospital bathroom, staring at his reflection and hearing Ward’s voice in his head: “Crying doesn’t solve anything. You’ve gotta be strong, for her, for your sisters.”

He had this idea in his head of what Rafe was supposed to be—strong, dependable, successful. He didn’t yell or lose his temper like some dads back then, he just made him feel like shit in this fucked up way.

Rafe tried, shit, he’d tried, but it felt impossible.

Every time he looked at his mom, pale and tired but still managing to smile at him like he was her whole world, he felt like he was dying too, then he’d feel guilty—for being so weak, for wanting to break down when she was the one fighting for her life.

It didn’t help that Ward had always had a soft spot for Sarah. Everyone could see it, even Rafe. She was the golden child, the one who could do no wrong, the one Ward went out of his way to protect.

If Rafe screwed up, it was a lecture or a punishment, but if Sarah did? Ward would just shake his head and say, “She’s still young. She’ll learn.”

It used to piss him off more than he wanted to admit. It wasn’t that he hated her��she was his sister, and he loved her. But how could he not resent her? He felt invisible when she got all the attention and the understanding, while he was expected to man up and deal with it.

After her funeral, things changed.

Rafe became quicker to snap, to walk away from anything that felt too hard. He was only himself around you, behind closed doors, never for preying eyes. Sarah grew colder, retreating into her own world where everything was controlled and distant.

Every time they spoke, it ended in shouting matches, slamming doors, or long stretches of silence that neither of them attempted to solve.

Except when you were there.

Ward got even colder, the grief had frozen whatever part of him used to care. He threw himself into work, making sure Sarah was okay, and barely even looked at his son. When he did, it was usually to tell him to pull it together, or to stop being so “moody.”

Rafe started to wonder if he even cared that he was falling apart, if he ever noticed the nights Rafe stayed out too late or came home smelling like booze. If he saw the way he avoided talking to him, how he flinched whenever Ward brought up his mom. But if his dad noticed, he never said anything.

He thought it was just Rafe being Rafe—angry, unpredictable, a disappointment.

Fast forward to the present, and he hadn’t felt this helpless since that day at the funeral, not even when Ward’s died four months ago.

You weren’t in his life anymore—hadn’t been for a while and you were possibly pregnant.

He wasn’t a hundred percent sure, but it made sense, everything lined up with that possibility. He thought back to everything you’d been through together, the times you’d been there for him when no one else was, how you’d seen the pieces of him no one else cared to.

Now, you were having his kid—and he was hearing about it from Topper?

Rafe spent the first hour after Topper dropped the news pacing his bedroom like a caged animal, his heart wouldn’t stop racing and he felt like a ticking time bomb.

The Rafe—the one who flew off the handle, yelled, broke things, and pushed people away—was begging to get out. But Topper’s voice kept replaying in his head, he had to act right, be calm, for your sake. To prove himself.

The problem was, that staying calm wasn’t his strong suit.

He’d spent years burying every emotion he couldn’t control under layers of anger, and now he was supposed to sit with the hurricane in his chest and figure out how to make things right.

For the first time in a long time, he realized he didn’t even know where to start.

That night, he locked himself in his room, ignoring his phone, his friends, everyone. None of it mattered anymore, the only thing he could think about was you—and the baby.

He spent hours pacing, running his hands through his hair, trying to think of what the fuck he was going to say.

What was he gonna say after everything he’d put you through? After the fight, the distance, the way he’d shut you out when you’d been nothing but good to him until that point?

He sat down on the edge of his bed, head still in his hands, and let himself feel everything he’d been avoiding. The fear, the regret, the anger at himself. He thought about you—how you used to look at him like he wasn’t just a mess of a person, you’d stuck by him even when he’d given you every reason to leave.

You weren’t here anymore.

He’d pushed you so far away you hadn’t even told him about the situation yourself. Why would you anyway? He ghosted you and the next time you saw him he was with someone else. He could still see the look on your face when you saw him that night—arms slung casually around Sofia, while you sat in your car, eyes wild, you hadn’t tried to step outside, hadn’t yelled or made a scene, you simply drove off.

It wasn’t until an hour later and terrible text message to you, that drunk and pissed at himself, he realized just how badly he’d screwed up. But by then, the damage was done, and he’d been too much of a coward to fix it. What followed was a sea of bad decisions and nights he couldn’t remember, trying to drown out the ache of losing you.

He’d been drinking for Ward’s death until that point, now he did it for you.

Everything was catching up to him—the way he let his dad’s voice in his head drown out his own, making him let you slip through his fingers.

He didn’t deserve you—he knew that.

By sunrise, Rafe was still wide awake, sitting on the floor of his room surrounded by half-crumpled pieces of paper. He’d been trying to write down what he wanted to say to you, but everything sounded wrong. He’d never been good with words, not the kind that mattered.

He wasn’t a dad, wasn’t even close to being the kind of guy who could be a dad.

What the fuck did he know about raising a kid? Changing diapers? Teaching someone right from wrong? Being patient? But the thought of you—of you carrying his kid—hit him differently.

At first, it had been pure panic. You hated him, what if you didn’t want him involved? What if he was just like Ward—cold, distant, always expecting too much? What if he screwed the kid up the same way he felt like he’d been screwed up?

He pictured it without meaning to: you holding a tiny bundle in your arms, your face soft in a way he hadn’t seen in so long. A kid with your smile, your laugh—but his eyes. Or his messy hair. It scared the shit out of him.

What if she doesn’t even want to keep it?

Rafe hadn’t let himself go there at first, it was a lot to wrap his head around, the idea that there might not even be a child to fight for.

The thought of you going through this, struggling to make a choice that he couldn’t help with, made him feel useless.

Frustrated, he grabbed his keys and headed out, needing to clear his head. The island was silent this early, the kind of calm that used to make him feel trapped, but now, though, it was a relief. He drove aimlessly for a while, the salty air whipping through the open windows, until he found himself parked at the beach.

He didn’t know why he’d come here—well, you’d always bring him here when he spiraled. He sat there, watching the waves crash against the shore, feeling a weird sort of clarity that he hadn’t felt in months.

Perhaps it was the silence, or the way the ocean didn’t care about all the fucking mess in his head, but something about it made him stop spiraling for a second.

He started to think about what Topper had said—not just about staying calm, but about proving to you that he still cared. That wasn’t something he could do with words alone, not after everything. He’d have to show you, he’d have to be the version of himself you used to believe in, the one who wasn’t ruled by his worst impulses.

Rafe knew the first step before he could even think about talking to you: he had to end things with Sofia. They weren’t official, but they might as well have been.

People talked, made assumptions, and sure, he’d let them. It was easier that way—less explaining, less having to deal with the uncomfortable truth that he’d only been with her to fill the empty space you left behind. It was cruel, but at the time, he hadn’t cared.

Sofia wasn’t you, but she was there, and more importantly, she didn’t expect anything from him. Keeping things going with her wasn’t just a bad idea; it was disrespectful. To you, to her, to himself. He couldn’t pretend he cared about her like that—not when his heart had never really left your orbit.

When he showed up at her place that morning before work, she didn’t seem surprised—not even a little. She’d seen the writing on the wall for weeks now, but tonight, seeing him standing there, just confirmed what she already knew.

She watched him like she was waiting for him to get to the point, but not impatiently—just resigned, she already knew what he was about to say.

“Can I come in?”

She let him in without a word, she wasn’t mad, not really. If anything, she felt sad—mostly for him, a little for herself. How the fuck was he supposed to explain this without sounding like the worst person alive?

“You okay?” she asked quietly, she wasn’t being polite—she was trying to read him, figure out where this was going.

Rafe didn’t sit, didn’t take off his jacket. He stayed standing, hands shoved deep in his pockets, trying to find the words that wouldn’t make this worse. “I—” He cleared his throat. “I need to talk to you about something.

She raised an eyebrow, her lips pressing together in a tight line. “Be honest.”

“This...this isn’t fair to you,” he started, his words tumbling out fast, “I should’ve been real with you from the start, but I wasn't," He swallowed hard, “You deserve better than me using you to forget someone else.”

Sofia didn’t say anything at first, just crossed her arms loosely, not making it easy for him, but she wasn’t making it harder, either.

“I shouldn’t have dragged you into this,” he continued, forcing himself to look at her. “It feels wrong and it’s not because of you. You’re great. You’ve been...you’ve been more patient with me than I deserve.”

Her lips curved into a small, almost imperceptible smile, one that wasn’t quite happy but wasn’t cruel either. “But you’re still in love with her.”

He didn’t know why it shocked him—Sofia had always been perceptive—but hearing her say it out loud made it real in a way it hadn’t been before.

“I—” He hesitated, but there was no point in denying it. “Yeah.”

“I knew,” She nodded like she’d been waiting for that confirmation. “I figured. I told myself it didn’t matter because—because I thought maybe you’d move on. Maybe I could help you move on. But you didn’t, and I—” She pressed her lips together, shaking her head as her arms tightened around herself.

Rafe’s brows furrowed. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

She shrugged, the movement almost casual.

“Because I really like you,” she admitted, “I knew. The party? When you got blackout drunk after seeing her leave? Or the country club, when you nearly started a fight defending her? I know you drove her to the hospital too. I kept hoping—God, I kept hoping you’d see me, that you’d let me be enough.”

He’d known she cared—he wasn’t blind—but hearing her saying like that made him realize just how he fucked up. She wasn’t wrong. He had been trying to numb himself, to drown out the reality of losing you, and she had been the collateral damage.

He looked away, guilt twisting in his chest. “I didn’t mean to drag you into this. That wasn’t fair to you.”

“No,” she agreed, her tone firm but not unkind. “It wasn’t, but I don’t think you meant to hurt me either, you were trying to hurt yourself. It's still stupid of me to try, knowing you need to figure your shit out, but you don’t have to end things. I know what I signed up for, Rafe. I’m not asking you to choose me over her—I’m just asking you to try."

There was no anger in her voice, no bitterness—just exhaustion. It made him feel like a piece of shit because she deserved to feel angry, to lash out at him. But instead, she was still trying to give him a way out, a way to make this easier on himself.

“I’ll take whatever part of you I can get.”

It wasn’t desperate or pleading—it was resigned. She already knew the answer, but she couldn’t help saying it out loud.

Rafe shook his head, his jaw tightening as he fought to keep his composure. “No,” he said, his voice firm. “You deserve someone who can give you everything. That’s not me.”

“Why not?” she pressed, her tone insistent.

“Because all of me already belongs to her,” Rafe admitted, his voice breaking at the end. “It always has, it always will.”

Sofia blinked, her lips parting slightly in surprise, but she didn’t look hurt—just...sad. She nodded slowly, her shoulders dropping in defeat.

“I hope she knows what she has, and I pray you show her," She stood up and motioning toward the door. “We both deserve better than a guy who drinks himself to death after seeing her at a party. So do you.”

Rafe didn’t move right away, unsure if he should say something more, apologize again, explain himself better.

“Thank you,” he said finally, his voice quieter than he meant it to be.

“Don’t thank me,” she replied, “Just do better.”

“I shouldn’t have let it go on this long,” he confessed, “I just—I didn’t know how to stop.”

Her expression softened just enough to show the tiniest sliver of empathy. “For what is worth, I think she still loves you too, even if she hates you more right now.” She paused, her hand resting on the doorknob, but she didn’t turn around, “Next time, please don’t do this to someone else, and don’t do it to her again, either.”

She still loves you too, even if she hates you more right now. He wanted to believe it, needed to believe it. The faint possibility, that you might still love him, it meant he had a chance but it also meant he could screw them up even worse.

He stood slowly, “Thank you,” he repeated,“For...everything.”

She didn’t look at him, but she nodded, opening the door and holding it for him. “Take care of yourself,” she said, and it wasn’t cold or angry—just sad.

By the time he got back to his car, he knew she wasn’t wrong, about any of it.

She hadn’t screamed or cried or made him feel like the asshole he knew he was, that made it worse. If his mom was here, she would’ve smacked him across he head for hurting two amazing women at the same time.

He hadn’t been ready to deal with his feelings for you—not when he started whatever the fuck it was with Sofia, not when he ran into you at that party, not when he defended you at the country club.

He’d been running, hiding, trying to bury everything under distractions that only made him feel emptier.

He leaned back against the headrest, closing his eyes, and for a moment, it was like he was fourteen again, sitting on the edge of his mom’s hospital bed while his mom teased him.

“Come on, sweetheart” she’d said, her voice playful, even through the weariness. “You’ve been talking about her birthday for weeks. I think you like her more than you’re letting on.”

Rafe’s head shot up, and his ears burned red. “Mooomm,” he groaned, dragging out the word, “it’s not like that, she’s my best friend.”

“She’s your pretty best friend,” she’d corrected, smiling at him in that knowing way only she could. “You’re gonna pick out something nice for her, right?”

“I already did,” he mumbled, pulling a small velvet box from his pocket and holding it out like it was some great secret. Inside was a delicate bracelet he’d saved up for, something special, something he thought you’d like.

His mom’s smile had softened, the teasing fading into something more tender.

“She’s lucky to have you,” she’d said, reaching out to ruffle his hair. “Even if you are a little knucklehead sometimes.”

He’d ducked away, embarrassed but secretly pleased, tucking the box back into his pocket.

“M’m not a knucklehead,” he complained, but she just laughed, and it was one of the last times he remembered hearing her laugh like that—free, unburdened, just his mom.

“She’s a good one. You’ve got good taste.” Her smile softened, and the teasing faded into something gentler. “I hope I’m still around when you get married. I’d love to see you happy like that.”

The words were a punch he hadn’t expected. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. What could he even say to that? He wanted to argue, to tell her she would be, but the look in her eyes stopped him.

She knew. She always knew.

He just nodded, biting the inside of his cheek hard enough to taste blood. “Me too.”

She squeezed his hand. “Promise me something?”

“Anything,” he said without thinking because he meant it.

“When you find that person—really find them—don’t let them go. Not for anything.”

He nodded again.

Years later, standing in a stupid fucking car alone, those words haunted him. He’d found that person, he’d had her and he’d let her go.

“God,” he muttered, the self-loathing reaching a new high, “I’m so sorry, mom.”

As terrifying as it was to think about being a dad, to think about raising a kid when he was still trying to figure out his own life… the idea of losing this chance—of losing you, or the baby, or both, for good —scared him even more.

For the first time in a long time, Rafe Cameron felt something close to hope, but it was tainted in so much fear and uncertainty, that he wasn’t sure what to do with it.

The rest of the day, he forced himself to slow down.

He went back home, cleaned up the disaster of a room he’d been holed up in, and tried to think like a normal guy instead of a walking disaster. He even let Topper come over, though his patience for his relentless commentary wore thin fast.

“You’ve got one shot at this, dude,” Topper said, perched on Rafe’s desk like he owned the place. “If you go in there guns blazing, she’s just gonna think you’re the same old Rafe. And honestly? You can’t blame her.”

Rafe rolled his eyes, but he didn’t argue, Topper was right, as annoying as it was to admit.

He spent the evening coming up with a plan—just enough to make sure he didn’t go in blind. He practiced what he’d say in his head, pacing the kitchen while the sun sank below the horizon. Every time he started to panic, he forced himself to breathe, to remember why he was doing this.

By the time 24 hours had passed, he didn’t feel ready, but he knew he couldn’t wait any longer. The thought of you sitting somewhere, thinking he really didn’t care or that he wouldn’t step up?

That was worse than any fear he had about facing you. So he grabbed his keys, and headed out, this time, he wasn’t running away.

Rafe stood by your door, he’d gotten in the property using the gate’s code, one he’d hoped you had changed to keep him out, but you hadn’t.

He’d never been good at patience, never needed to be—not when he could push his way into anything. But this was different, you were different, always had been.

The wood under his hand was cool, in a way that pissed him off because it reminded him that there was a barrier between you and him, again, always.

He wanted to scream, kick the fucking thing down like the old Rafe would’ve, or instead use the keys you’d given him years ago. Instead, he stood there, swallowing his pride because you were worth it, even if it was tearing himself in half.

His knuckles dragged down the frame, fist clenching as if the pressure would ground him, keep him from losing his shit. He wasn’t here to fight, wasn’t here to make your life harder, no matter how much you thought he was.

The door rattled slightly when he pressed his forehead against it, eyes squeezing shut. “Five minutes. Please.”

Nothing.

His jaw worked, teeth grinding against the words he wanted to say but couldn’t, not if he wanted you to open the door. He couldn’t do this anymore—the back-and-forth, the lies. He wasn’t sure what broke first—your resolve or the knot in his throat.

When you didn’t answer again, he sank to sit on the porch, back against the door like he could still feel you on the other side. You were there—close enough to touch if there wasn’t this fucking door between you.

That was his fault.

He used to be the guy you’d let in without thinking twice, shit, there was a time when he didn’t need to knock.

He was in, part of your life, part of you.

Now, you were holed up, scared of him. Yeah, that ate him alive. He’d earned that fear—every cold shoulder, the slammed door, he deserved it.

He should’ve been different, been better, been someone you didn’t have to lock out. You were scared, and it killed him because it wasn’t just fear, it was him. He was the reason you didn’t feel safe enough to let the secret out, the reason your voice cracked when you told him to leave.

He had put that look in your eyes, the one he couldn’t unsee, no matter how hard he tried.

“Fuck,” he muttered.

He could almost hear you breathing, shakily, like you were preparing yourself to outlast him.

He wanted to push. Fuck, he wanted to shove the door open, make you look at him, make you tell him everything—but that was the old Rafe, he took what he wanted, and bulldozed through whatever stood in his way.

Where had that ever gotten him? Nowhere but here: on the wrong side of a door, the wrong side of you.

He exhaled, long and slow, hand falling limp to his side.

What the hell was he doing? Forcing his way in, forcing answers—that wasn’t going to fix this. It never did. You’d push harder, build the walls higher, and he couldn’t stomach the idea of you hating him more than you already did.

“Okay,” he said quietly, his voice strained. “I get it.”

He didn’t know if you could still hear him, perhaps you were blocking him out completely. Maybe you were curled up with your hands over your ears. He hoped you weren’t crying, though the thought twisted and turned something deep in him.

“I’m not gonna push you,” he said, hating how defeated he sounded. “You don’t owe me anything.”

He ran a hand down his face, swallowing hard, trying to keep it together.

“I just... I just want you to be okay.” He hesitated, then pressed his palm flat against the door, wishing he could reach you somehow, without scaring you, “Baby or not.”

He waited, hoping for something—a sound, a movement, anything, but the silence was absolute.

His heart clenched as he pushed off the door and took a step back, his shoes scraping against the porch. He didn’t want to leave, he never wanted to leave, but this wasn’t about what he wanted. Not anymore.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, almost to himself, "I'm so sorry. I’m sorry it took me this long, okay?”

He stopped halfway, looking back, hoping—praying—for some sign. A light flicking on, the sound of the door creaking open, your voice calling his name, anything.

But the house stayed still, it had already moved on from him.

He didn’t remember deciding to drive to Poguelandia; he felt it in his gut, in the pit of his chest, this pounding certainty that Sarah knew something he didn’t. You wouldn’t tell him—but Sarah? You’d chosen her to drive you home from the hospital just a few days ago.

She was the only person that could lie to his face properly, he couldn’t fucking figure her out, she was always deflecting shit wherever they talked.

By the time he pulled up to the pogues’ little hideaway, the sky had darkened, the place lit only by the glow of string lights and the hum of voices inside. He sat in the truck for a second, staring at the house, willing himself to calm down.

Barging in—loud, pissed, impulsive—wasn’t going to get him what he needed. But fuck, it was hard not to.

He climbed out, slamming the door behind him with just enough force to feel better for half a second. The screen door creaked as he stepped up to the porch, and he could already hear them inside—Sarah’s laugh, JJ cracking some dumbass joke, the rest of them chiming in like they didn’t have a care in the world.

He hated this, hated how they all looked at him, as if he was some ticking time bomb ready to explode. They weren’t wrong.

Rafe knocked, hard and sharp, the laughter inside cut off instantly. Footsteps approached the door, hesitant. A second later, it swung open, and there she was, his sister, looking at him like he was the last person she wanted to see.

“Rafe,” she said, one hand still gripping the door. “What are you doing here?”

He didn’t waste time with pleasantries. “We need to talk.”

Her brows pulled together, suspicion creeping into her expression. “Now? Seriously?”

“Yeah, now,” he snapped, stepping closer, his voice low enough to keep from drawing the others’ attention. “Don’t make me say it in front of them.”

She hesitated, glancing over her shoulder toward the voices in the living room. “Rafe, I don’t think—”

“Don’t,” he cut her off, his tone sharper than he meant. He swallowed hard, forcing himself to soften, to keep it together. “I need you to tell me the truth.”

She glanced back again, then sighed, stepping out onto the porch and closing the door behind her. He was already pacing, hands twitching at his sides, hardly able to contain the energy inside him.

The way she looked at him—wary, guarded—only made it worse.

“What the hell is your problem?” she asked, crossing her arms, like she was already bracing for a fight.

“My problem?” he barked out a laugh, sharp. “You really wanna play dumb right now? You’ve been keeping something from me, Sarah. I know you have.”

Her brows knit together, feigning confusion, “Dude. What’s this about? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Bullshit,” he hissed, stepping closer, “Don’t lie to me. I already know, okay? I know about the baby.”

She didn’t say a word, didn’t confirm a thing, just stared at him like he was some wild animal.

“Where did you get the idea that she’s pregnant?”

His mouth opened, then closed. It felt wrong to snitch on Topper when he’d been one making him pry a little more.

“Well?” she pressed, “Answer me. How did you come up with that?”

Saying it out loud felt like admitting he’d been just as reckless and intrusive as everyone expected him to be. His hand ran over his face, trying to stall.

“I didn’t just make it up.”

Sarah’s eyes narrowed, her patience waning. “No shit. So where, Rafe?”

He glanced away, then back, his voice defensive. “Topper said something, okay? He heard—he thought—” Rafe stopped, knowing how weak it sounded.

“Topper? You’re taking life advice from Topper now?”

“He didn’t mean anything by it!” Rafe was quick to defend him, “He just... he mentioned some things, and it got me thinking. That’s all.”

“That’s all?” Sarah repeated, “You barged over there because Topper mentioned ‘some things’ ? Jesus Christ.”

His hands flew up in frustration. “What was I supposed to do? Pretend I didn’t hear it? Ignore it and hope it went away? I needed to know!”

“No, you didn’t,” Sarah shot back. “You wanted to know. There’s a difference, and it’s the difference that keeps getting you into this shit.”

“Don’t look at me like that,” Rafe pointed a finger in his direction, “Like I’m crazy or something. I’m not stupid.”

"You’re just not worth the energy right now."

Instead of crying like he wanted to, he let out a dry laugh, pacing back and forth in front of her.

"Right. Sure. I can see it all over you, just say it."

She shook her head, her lips pressing into a thin line. "You don’t know what you’re talking about. Neither does Topper.”

“Stop lying!” His voice rose, loud enough to echo into the dark yard. “Just stop. You know something.”

Sarah’s jaw clenched, and for a moment, Rafe thought he’d finally cracked her. Except instead of giving him what he wanted, she just let out a slow breath, meeting his eyes with a steadiness that made him feel like a child fighting for his favorite toy.

“You want to know the truth?”

“Yes,” he bit out, his chest heaving.

She stepped forward so they were only inches apart. “The truth is, you don’t deserve to know. Not yet.”

Everyone kept telling him the same thing, couldn’t they see he was already trying?

He staggered back a step. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"It means, that whatever you’re looking for, whatever answers you think you deserve, they’re not yours to take. Not until you can handle them without breaking everything you touch."

He flinched, her words striking something inside him, “You don’t get to decide that for me,” he said, almost desperate.

“I’m not deciding anything,” she replied, her eyes never leaving his. “You’ve spent these last few months making everything about you. Your pain, your anger, your needs.”

He glanced away, “So, what? You don’t trust me?”

Her silence was louder than anything she could have said.

“You don’t,” he murmured, the realization bitter in his mouth.

"I don’t," she agreed, “You’re still not the person she needs you to be, and until you can prove you can do that—without me, without anyone holding your hand—you’re better off not knowing.”

“I’m trying. I swear to fucking God, I’m trying. I don’t know how to fix it.”

“She’s scared you’re going to hurt her again—whether you mean to or not. You’re dating someone else, for god’s sake.”

“I ended it. This morning.”

Sarah’s eyebrows lifted slightly, “Doesn’t change the past, Rafe. And it sure as hell doesn’t make everything better overnight.”

Rafe flinched, the words sinking into him like stones. "Why the fuck do you think I’m here? I don’t want to hurt her—I can’t do anything if she won’t even talk to me."

Topper still had that number.

You hadn’t hidden it well enough, he hadn’t done anything with it, but it was tempting. All he had to do was call, just to confirm, he told himself. Not to pry, simply to know for sure.

“Whatever you’re thinking, don’t. This isn’t something you can force your way into. She would never forgive you, please be smart.”

His first instinct was to lash out, fire back some venom-laced retort that would sting as much as her tone. He nodded, swallowing hard.

“Okay,” He dragged a hand through his head, “I know that, I know. But I can’t just sit here, doing nothing. I need to... I need to show her I can do better. That I am better.”

“You need to crawl through hell to understand a fraction of what she’s going through; you need to stop thinking about what you want and start thinking about her.”

His hands fell to his sides, limp, the fight suck out of him. She was right—he hated that she was. This wasn’t about him anymore; it never had been.

“What can I do?”

Her expression softened, not with forgiveness but something sadder—she wanted to believe he could. “You start by fixing yourself, then you wait. Until she’s ready, if she’s ready. You’ve got to mean that, Rafe, you screw this up again..."

"I won’t," he said firmly, cutting her off. "I can’t."

“Okay.”

“What if she’s not ready?”

He had no right to demand more.

“You keep going, keep trying. Not for her, not for anyone else—just for you.”

By the time he got back in his truck, the hurt in his body hadn’t lifted. His mom’s words echoed in his mind one more, “When you find that person, don’t let them go. Not for anything.”

Maybe that started with learning to be the person who deserved to hold on.

TAGLIST: @maybankslover @october-baby25 @haruvalentine4321 @hopelesslydevoted2paige

@rafebb @rafesbby @whytheylosttheirminds

@zyafics @astarlights @bruher @nosebeers @carrerascameron

@serrendiipty @sunny1616 @yootvi @ditzyzombiesblog

@psychocitylights @maibelitaaura @kiiyomei

@stoned-writer @justafangirls-blog-deactivated2

@starkeygirlposts @enjoymyloves @ijustwanttoreadlols @icaqttt

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cheftsunoda · 5 days ago

Text

Beauty and Brains

(part two)

SMAU! + Real Life

in which charles leclerc's twin is a doctor and is making the big move back to monaco and also introducing the family to her new boyfriend...who they most definitely already know.

Charles Leclerc X !Doctor Sister Reader X Platonic F1 Grid

Leclerc Reader x Lando Norris

part one here:)

part three here:)

part four here:)

tag list : @klauslovemepls, @omgsuperstarg, @msliz, @samanthaofanarchy, @mayax2o07, @goldenstrawberryx, @hannahmotors10, @alireads27, @1800-love-me

—

reader point of view ;

The living room was a sea of half-filled boxes, bubble wrap, and sharpie markers. It was strange—seeing my medical textbooks, framed degrees, and half-used coffee mugs all laid out like museum artifacts waiting to be archived.

“You sure you need all of these anatomy books?” Lando’s voice called from the study, followed by the sound of something thudding against the floor.

I chuckled, wiping my hands on my old jeans as I walked in to find him crouched next to a very full box, one of the books clearly too heavy for its own good. He looked up with that guilty-but-charming smile.

“Those books saved my ass in med school. I’m not leaving them behind just because they weigh a ton.”

He huffed dramatically. “Fine, but I want it noted that I’m risking back injury for love.”

I stepped closer and leaned down to kiss the top of his head. “You’re very brave, Norris.”

He smirked and rose to his feet, brushing his hands off. “So, when are we tackling the kitchen? Because I feel like that’s going to be way more terrifying.”

I let out a groan. “Probably after I emotionally recover from going through my office.”

He reached out and took my hand, his thumb brushing over my knuckles as he studied my expression. “You okay? I mean, I know this is exciting—coming back to Monaco, being closer to family, starting fresh—but it’s a lot.”

I nodded, biting my lip. “It is. It’s a good kind of overwhelming, though. I think I just didn’t realize how much I’d built here until I started packing it all away.”

“I get that,” he said softly. “But you’re not doing it alone. I’m here… and your brother’s probably going to show up in a Ferrari and try to carry one box like it’s a workout.”

I laughed. “That sounds exactly like Charles.”

Lando grinned. “And hey, once we get to Monaco, you’ll have a whole new home to decorate, new memories to make—and I’ll still be stealing your cereal and annoying you every morning.”

I leaned into him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He held me tightly, his chin resting lightly on my head. The chaos of moving felt a little less daunting in that moment.

“Thank you for helping me,” I whispered. “For all of this.”

He pulled back just enough to look down at me, brushing a strand of hair from my cheek. “Always. You’re kind of stuck with me now, Dr. Leclerc.”

I smiled up at him. “Good. I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

—

dr_jules_leclerc added post(s) to her story!

{caption 1 : <3} {caption 2 : so happy to be back home}

alexandrasaintmleux : hurry uppppp i wanna see you

dr_jules_leclerc : see you so soon angel

arthur_leclerc : charles is getting impatient and he may know about you and lando

arthur_leclerc : expect an influx of messages in the group chat

dr_jules_leclerc : took him long enough

charles_leclerc : jules elise leclerc answer your messages rn

dr_jules_leclerc : that is DR jules elise Leclerc to you pal.

username4 : phone case is very lando coded

—

lando added post(s) to his story!

{caption 1 : prettiest angel , caption 2 : back to monaco}

seen by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, maxfewtrell & 3,378,688 others.

—

The Monaco sun filtered through the car window as Lando pulled into the familiar driveway of my childhood home. I had purchased a Penthouse next door. I felt a rush of emotion—nostalgia, nerves, and excitement all tangled together. Even after living away for so long, the sight of home still made my chest ache in a good way.

Lando looked over at me, sunglasses sliding down slightly on his nose. “Still good?”

I nodded, squeezing his hand on the gearshift. “Yeah. Just feels… real now.”

The front door swung open before either of us could even get out of the car. Charles stood there, arms crossed, that signature protective brother glare already locked and loaded.

“Oh no,” Lando muttered under his breath with a smirk. “Here we go.”

I stepped out with a laugh just as Charles started walking over.

“You’re late,” he announced, though his grin betrayed his excitement.

“It’s Monaco,” I shrugged, opening the back of the car. “Time doesn’t exist here.”

Charles pulled me into a hug, his chin resting briefly on top of of my head the way it always had since we were kids. “I am so glad you’re back.”

“I missed you too,” I mumbled into his shoulder before pulling away.

Then, his gaze shifted to Lando. The grin faded just a fraction.

“Lando,” Charles said, tone neutral.

“Charles,” Lando replied with a mock salute. “I brought your sister back in one piece and helped pack her entire life into about 47 boxes. So I feel like I should get a gold star or at least a drink.”

Charles raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t drop any of her medical equipment, did you?”

Lando put a hand to his heart. “Not even the weird bone model thing that stares at you.”

“It’s an anatomical replica of a skull,” I clarified, rolling my eyes.

“Right, creepy Steve,” Lando added, pointing toward the box where the plastic skull peered out.

Charles blinked. “You named it?”

Lando and I both said at the same time, “He named it.”

Charles just sighed dramatically and grabbed a box. “You’re both weird. Perfect for each other, unfortunately.”

I laughed as Lando nudged me with his elbow. “Look at that. He’s accepting us. That was basically a blessing.”

Charles shook his head but smiled. “Just remember—if you break her heart, Norris, I know where you live. And we drive the same track.”

Lando threw up his hands. “Noted. Fear officially installed. Now can we carry boxes inside before I collapse and die from exhaustion?"

As I walked up the front steps between the two most important men in my life, I felt it—the peace of being home, the warmth of Charles’ ridiculous threats, and the comfort of Lando’s quiet, steady presence. This was the start of something new. And this time, I am not doing it alone.

—

The apartment was still a mess of boxes, pizza crusts, and tangled extension cords, but somehow it already felt like home. I was curled up on the makeshift couch—a pile of cushions and a borrowed throw blanket—with Lando beside me, both of us exhausted.

“Okay, real talk,” Lando said, taking a sip from a water bottle. “We should just live like this forever. Minimalist chaos.”

I laughed, nudging his side. “You mean organized mess? Very artistic of you.”

“It’s nice,” he said, leaning closer. “Besides, I've got all I need and that is you.”

He kissed me slowly, his fingers brushing over my cheek like he had all the time in the world. I melted into his touch, hands resting on his hoodie, smiling mid-kiss. The door suddenly burst open without warning.

“We brought champagne— Mon Dieu!” Charles’s voice rang out first.

“Bro, seriously?” Arthur groaned right behind him.

“We said knock!”

Lando looked genuinely startled, clutching a throw pillow over his lap like it was a shield. I was already halfway on my feet, eyes wide, cheeks blazing.

“Do you two not know what knocking is?? As-tu perdu la tête??" I shouted.

Charles stood frozen, one hand raised like he was about to make a toast, champagne bottle still uncorked. Arthur looked like he’d just walked in on an exorcism.

“Is this how you treat your guests?” Charles said, dramatically turning his back. “We bring you gifts and you assault our eyeballs?”

Arthur muttered, “Je ne reverrai plus jamais.” (I will never see again)

Lando cleared his throat, still sitting awkwardly on the pillow. “Uh… hi, guys. Good to see you. Love the timing.”

Arthur gestured vaguely to the room, eyes narrowed. “Is this the vibe now? Moving in and immediately traumatizing family?”

I snatched the champagne out of Charles’s hand. “You didn’t even text! It’s our first night here!”

Charles dropped into an armchair with a dramatic sigh. “Exactly. We wanted to be part of the moment. Thought we’d celebrate you finally moving back—and I walked in on Lando trying to eat your face.”

“Romantic,” Lando mumbled, grabbing two glasses from a box and handing one to me.

Arthur dropped next to his brother. “We brought snacks too. But I guess you’re already full of each other.”

“Arthur! Ferme ta gueule” I groaned, covering my face.

Lando gave me a look, grinning like he was actually enjoying this. “I like them. They’re fun.”

Charles pointed at him. “We are not fun. We are watching you.”

“I’ve noticed,” Lando said with a smirk.

I poured four glasses, reluctantly toasting with them all as Charles sighed and Arthur wiggled his brows in my direction. I was flustered, and slightly horrified—but also happy.

“Cheers to new beginnings,” I said.

Charles added, “And boundaries.”

Arthur raised his glass. “And to Lando marrying my sister."

Charles began choking on his champagne and smacked Arthur as Lando giggled to himself. Lando leaned in, whispering with a grin, “Remind me to install three deadbolts tomorrow.”

I laughed as my two idiot brothers bickered across the room, and Lando wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pressed a kiss to my cheek.

—

The salty breeze hit my face as I stepped out onto the private beach, toes sinking into warm sand. The sun was shining, the waves rolled gently in the distance, and Charles was already arguing with Arthur over who forgot the sunscreen. Lorenzo and Charlotte settled down in the sand next to Maman and Alex followed close to my side.

I adjusted my sunglasses and glanced back at Lando, who was shirtless, in board shorts, and struggling to carry two umbrellas, a cooler, and mine and Alex's beach bags like a pack mule. I tried not to smile too wide.

“You alright there, muscles?” I teased, reaching to take the bag off his shoulder.

“I’m thriving, actually,” Lando puffed, pretending to struggle more than he actually was. “This is the full boyfriend experience, right? Beach Mule?”

You kissed his cheek in thanks. “You’re doing amazing, sweetie.”

Alex giggled to herself and parked herself in the chair beside me. Charlotte came over and we began our typical girl talk. Lando was stood still trying to assemble all the beach gear. Down by the water, Maman was watching as Charles tried to construct a sandcastle with the intense focus of a man trying to outdo a toddler. Arthur, meanwhile, was already in the water yelling something about being part dolphin. Lorenzo trying to ignore both of them for his peace.

Lando dropped beside you onto a towel and stretched out, arms behind his head. “This is heaven. Sun, sea, no pit wall yelling in my ear…”

“Don’t get used to it,” Charles said, tossing a clump of wet sand at the both of us. “You’re racing next weekend.”

Lando shielded his face dramatically. “You mean I don’t get to retire at 25 and live on the beach with my beautiful doctor girlfriend?"

“Please don’t encourage him,” you groaned, lying back beside him. “He’s already too relaxed. He tried to explain to me, the doctor, that sunscreen is useless." I stated and Alex chuckled from beside.

“It is when you’re built like a bronze god,” Lando said confidently, flipping onto his stomach.

I grabbed the bottle from the bag and rolled my eyes. “Give me that before you turn into a tomato.”

From a few feet away, Arthur shouted, “Lando, if I see one more love bite on my sister’s neck, I swear I will drown you.”

“Arthur!” I yelled, mortified, gripping at my neck.

Lando just grinned. “For the record, she’s the one who bit me first.”

“Lando!” you smacked his shoulder as Maman called out from her chair with a grin on her face, "Arthur, faites attention à vous."

Charles was howling with laughter, and Arthur looked like he was planning Lando's funeral.

"Charles don't act like I don't notice you marking up my sweet innocent Alex." I shouted pointing to Alex as she hid her head. Charles laughing stopped abruptly and he went back to the sand.

I collapsed next to Lando again, hiding my face in the crook of his arm. “I can’t take you anywhere.”

He just kissed my temple and murmured, “You love me though.”

I huffed and nodded as he wrapped his arms around me tightly.

—

After the long day at the beach, Maman had prepared a dinner for all of us. I had just got out of the shower and dressed and saw Lando lying on the bed. He smiled and reached his hands out towards me pulling me down with him.

"Dinner is ready." I mumbled against his lips.

"Just two seconds with you." He murmured as he drew me into his lips and held me steady. His hand made its way to rest lightly on my neck guiding the kiss.

"Excuse me, love birds, dinner is ready!" Arthur shouted banging on the door, interrupting our moment of peace. I stood up and opened the door and glared at him. I chased him out into the kitchen and jumped on his back. Maman, stood over the pots and pans in the kitchen chuckled at us. Lando followed behind laughing and struck up a conversation with Maman. Arthur clutched my legs and started running outside towards the pool.

"Arthur, I will literally kill you. No pool." I yelled and he stopped right at the edge of the pool. Charles, Alex and Lorenzo watched closely all holding back a chuckle.

"Say that I am your favorite Brother and always will be." He threatened as he teetered me over the edge.

"Arthur, you are my favorite brother and always will be." I stated and stared down Charles and Lorenzo while shaking my head. Arthur gently set me down on the ground and squeezed me into a hug.

I walked over and sat in between Charles and Alex. Alex and I began discussing her recent duties in her job in Art.

"I have an exhibition next week, if you'd be interested in joining me." She stated with a smile and nodded.

"Absolutely." I said and took a swig of the wine.

"I can see how happy Lando makes you and it warms my heart. You so deserve that." She said and I felt myself flush.

"Same goes for you, Mon Amor. Even if it is sadly my brother that makes you happy." I said and we both chuckled as we peered over at Charles and Arthur who were arguing again.

"Everybody ready to eat?" Maman asked as she peaked her head out of the door. We all nodded and followed her to the other side of the terrace. I pulled her into a hug and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"merci maman." I said and she smiled.

"tout ce que tu fais pour ma fille. ce garçon que tu as est spécial." She replied and I smiled to myself. (anything for you my girl. that boy you got yourself is very special)

"oui, il l'est" I said and watched Lando as he finished setting the table. (yes he is)

I greeted Lando with a kiss on the cheek and he smiled.

I sat between Lando and Arthur, sandwiched in as usual, while maman fluttered around making sure everyone had enough food (even though there was more than enough), and Charles argued passionately about wine pairings with Lorenzo.

Lando leaned over and murmured in my ear, “I think your mom just tried to sneak more food onto my plate when I wasn’t looking.”

“That’s how she shows love,” I whispered, stifling a laugh. “You’re officially in.”

“She also asked me earlier what my intentions are with you,” he added under his breath.

I turned to him, wide-eyed, slightly choking on my wine, “What did you say?”

“I panicked and said I liked your brain,” he whispered.

I burst into quiet laughter, covering my face as he grinned.

Arthur leaned over suspiciously. “What are you two whispering about?”

“Lando’s fear of lasagna and commitment,” I teased, nudging Lando gently.

“Oh, I’m great at commitment,” he said casually, picking up his glass of wine. “I mean, I’m practically in love with—”

He froze. I froze. The whole table went quiet like someone hit pause.

Charles dropped his fork. “What did you just say?”

Lando blinked. “I—I said I’m practically… uh… in love with food?"

Maman raised an eyebrow.

Arthur leaned back, grinning like a Cheshire cat. “Did our sweet little Lando just say the L-word?”

Lando looked absolutely panicked—but I was staring at him, eyes wide, heart pounding. Because I knew what he meant. He wasn’t talking about the food. I reached over and gently took his hand under the table.

“Hey,” I said quietly, “you don’t have to walk it back.”

He looked at me, eyes softening, and then took a breath.

“No, you’re right,” he said, this time with no hesitation. “I meant it. I love you.”

Silence again. And then—Charles groaned, dramatically dropping his head into his hands. “I knew this dinner was cursed.”

Maman beamed with joy. “Finally!”

Arthur raised his glass. “To Lando being emotionally available—who would’ve guessed?”

I laughed as the chaos resumed, my heart full and warm, my fingers still wrapped in Lando’s under the table.

I looked at him and smiled. “I love you too, by the way.”

“I knew it,” he whispered smugly. “This family loves me.” Charles scoffed loudly and then threw a napkin at his head.

"Don't get too cocky, Norris." Charles snapped and Alex smacked the back of his head.

"I love you as my own, Lando." Maman stated, giving Lando a huge smile.

—

dr_jules_leclerc just posted!

liked by lando, alexandrasaintmleux, lewishamilton & 12,424,878 others.

dr_jules_leclerc : i made the mistake of taking lando on a vacation with my family and now he thinks they are all insane (just charles).

lando : would deal with charles' threats and abuse every single day if it means i get to see that beautiful face at least once

liked by author, alexandrasaintmleux, arthur_leclerc, maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and charlotte2304

charles_leclerc : watch your back, norris.

lando : you do realize that will be your sisters last name someday too..

liked by author & alexandrasaintmleux

arthur_leclerc : charles is shouting and on the verge of tears rn

liked by author, lando, carlossainz55, maxverstappen1 and alexandrasaintmleux

charles_leclerc : SHE WILL KEEP THE LECLERC NAME GOD DAMNIT

liked by author

lewishamilton : Treat her well, Lando. She is a special woman.

liked by author, lando, carlossainz55, arthur_leclerc, charles_leclerc and maxverstappen1

lando : she definitely is mate, the most special

alexandrasaintmleux : so happy to have you back mon ange

liked by author

charles_leclerc : all this charles slander is BS

liked by author

franciscacgomes : NO- I LOST MY WOMAN TO A BRIT

liked by author

dr_jules_leclerc : I LOST YOU TO A FRENCHIE

carlossainz55 : Happy for the both of you! Be nice to each other because I have a hefty soft spot for you both and the break up would kill me.

liked by author and lando

dr_jules_leclerc : my carlando heart

liked by carlossainz55 and lando

yourbff : body so tea the british r coming or whateva

liked by author

lando : yeah they definitely are

liked by author and yourbff

arthur_leclerc : i am acting like i cannot read

dr_jules_leclerc : wdym acting - you can't read.

charles_leclerc : i am hiring a hitman im tired

—

@lando made a post!

liked by dr_jules_leclerc, pietra.pilao, mclaren & 8,987,274 others.

lando : fuck a soft launch- im dating the most intelligent and beautiful person on the planet and i love her dearly

dr_jules_leclerc : my cutie pie angel face pookie love

liked by author

charles_leclerc : im gonna be sick

lando : walk past a mirror charles?

liked by dr_jules_leclerc + arthur_leclerc

username4 : he got the girl from being himself guys

liked by author + dr_jules_leclerc

username4 : take notes

adam_norris_pure_electric : We are so excited to meet her!!

liked by author & dr_jules_leclerc

dr_jules_leclerc : you saw my home, norris. seems i need to see yours now;)

liked by author, flonorris1 and ciscanorris

ciscanorris : Bring this beautiful girl home to me right now, Lando. I have to start digging out your baby books!!

liked by author and dr_jules_leclerc

dr_jules_leclerc : oh i am definitely excited now

@maxfewtrell : so glad to see you so happy man!

liked by author and dr_jules_leclerc

@pietra.pilao : we want to meet her!!

liked by author and dr_jules_leclerc

@leclerc_pascale : Beautiful Couple. Love you both!

liked by author & dr_jules_leclerc

maxverstappen1 : Happy for you guys but so help me Lando if you hurt her, I will eat you alive. Leclerc is not your biggest problem.

liked by author and dr_jules_leclerc

dr_jules_leclerc : charles isn't even a problem he is just a menace

liked by author, maxverstappen1 and arthur_leclerc

lando : not threatened at all by charles- slightly scared of mad max tho

liked by dr_jules_leclerc and maxverstappen1

arthur_leclerc : a bumble bee followed charles around the terrace yesterday and he screamed for about 5 minutes

liked by author, maxverstappen1 and dr_jules_leclerc

charles_leclerc : talking about someone when they are not present to defend themselves is RUDE.

liked by author, maxverstappen1 and dr_jules_leclerc

dr_jules_leclerc : kk scaredy cat

—

dr_jules_leclerc added to her story!

{caption : brother in laws <3 }

seen by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc and 7,378,367 others.

charles_leclerc : what is this? take it down immediately- you are ruining my intimidating older brother image.

dr_jules_leclerc : wdym older brother we are TWINS CHARLES. shared the womb.

charles_leclerc : maman always told me I was born 4 minutes ahead of you… I am older

dr_jules_leclerc : mmm okay whatever helps you sleep at night but the whole internet knows you’re not intimidating at all..frankly I am more intimidated by Leo

—

part two complete! let me know if you guys would like a part 3 where she meets lando's family or any other requests you have. my drafts are quite full but i am just trying to get a feel for what you guys want to read. i am always accepting requests:)

#lando norris #lando x reader #mclaren #lando x you #charles leclerc #lewis hamilton #scuderia ferrari #formula 1 #formula one #f1 smau #f1 x reader #f1 social media au #f1 fanfic #lando norris x reader

527 notes · View notes

amywritesthings · 2 months ago

Text

your only, hopefully.

pairing: caleb x f!reader (love and deepspace) word count: 4.3k summary: You get stood up on your very first Valentine's Day date. Caleb, as always, manages to save the day.

rated mature // pre-main story, valentine's day fluff, psuedo-incest, use of 'gege' (big brother), unresolved romantic tension, a sprinkle of angst, a ton of yearning, first kiss, foot massage, virgin!caleb credit: dividers by @/saradika-graphics

( READ ON AO3. )

[INCOMING MESSAGE] : Sry, can’t make it tonight :(

You’ve read the text message at least a dozen times.

The thirteenth still has yet to register in your mind, though the belated anger, the confusion — the shame — creeps in like a cold sweat on the back of your neck.

Everything was almost perfect. You’d just set your makeup with a misting spray. One foot remains in a nude-colored high heel while the other foot remains on the fuzzy rectangular rug below, slanting you at an uncomfortable angle.

What once fit you perfectly now feels too tight.

Gran said buying a Valentine’s Day dress was special, that it could carry a lot of sweet memories, yet you find yourself disgusted by the crimson red hugging your body.

(Should you have known? Did you miss a sign between the lines?)

There is a knock on your door, but your brain doesn’t register the gentle wraps.

Jazzy saxophone and gentle drums, your romantic pre-game ambience, now croons morosely on your laptop; songs about love and finding the one and all that—

All that bullshit.

Hours.

You spent hours getting ready for a romantic evening that wasn't even happening now.

Your nostrils flare with the settling irritation in your belly when you grit your teeth, the feeling so overwhelming that you act without thinking:

Shrieking silently behind your pressed red lips, the sound muffled, you kick to launch your unsecured heel towards the door—

“Whoa!”

As if by divine fate (or misfortune) you watch in budding horror as Caleb darts out of the way of the offending shoe, crouching to the floor with his hands over his head.

Gege — formerly the most popular boy at school, now the golden wonder boy of the skies. Every person who has ever met him has wanted to know him, let alone date him, and you cannot blame them.

He's effortlessly kind, funny in his own right, and the type of classically handsome people think about when they dream up a hot-shot pilot with a bright future ahead of him.

He’s supposed to be out by wining and dining all of the amazing girls he’s met while away from home, yet he’s somehow standing — no, crumpled — at your bedroom door in a casual muscle tank-top and gray sweatpants.

“Caleb!” you exhale in shock.

(The text is forgotten, if only for one precious second.)

Remaining crouched, he continues to keep his eyes closed.

“Could’ve warned me with a think fast, pipsqueak.”

“I’m — shit, I’m so sorry,” you rasp as you rush over to him. “I didn’t think you’d be home.”

With that cocky smirk tugging at his lips, Caleb reveals a playful violet eye before freezing.

The other eye opens slowly, the confidence all but wiped off of his face when he stares at you.

The facade erases as fast as a passing cloud.

“...whoa.”

Stopping in your tracks, your brows knit. “What?”

“Where’d you get that?” he asks after a beat, voice a little tighter than before.

His gaze flicks down, then up to the crown of your head, then only a fraction lower as if willing himself to keep his eyes focused on your face and your face alone.

“I don’t remember that being in your closet.”

“That’s because I bought it earlier this week,” you state, matter of fact. You look down at the sparkling red dress with disdain. “Not that it matters now.”

Finally standing at full height, you watch Caleb’s throat bob before he steps into the threshold of your bedroom.

“Uh… why? Your friends cancelling for a night in? Makes sense. Saves money.”

Giving him a knowing glare, you cross your arms over your chest and sigh away the creeping embarrassment. “Not quite.”

“Cancelling in general?” he tries again, mirroring his arms over his broad chest. The motion accentuates his naked biceps.

(Huh. They look bigger since he last visited.)

“Worse,” you conclude.

“Worse?”

“I got stood up by a guy in my hunter class, so that’ll be awesome to kick off Monday with.”

Before he can hide it, you see it: his jaw clenches, tight, and a dark shadow passes over his expression.

The playful boy you’ve grown up with disappears in a flash.

“Who’s the asshole?” he asks flatly. “Does he live nearby?”

“Caleb.”

“Was he going to come pick you up?”

“Caleb.”

“I have privileges now, pipsqueak. You point me in the right direction and I’ll—”

“Gege! Enough."

The old name of endearment you’ve retired when he turned eighteen, buried with the rest of your bizarre family memorabilia — one that’s only stayed in your mind and never exited your mouth ever since — slips.

Caleb’s eyes flash with discontent until you reach for his face, sandwiching his cheeks between your palms.

In an instant the heat is snuffed out, and he relaxes without any further debate.

You know how he gets.

Not quite jealousy, not entirely overprotection.

I’d fly to the sun and back for you, pipsqueak, you know that.

(You do. You know he would.)

Caleb will blindly step out of this home to go find whatever man scorned you on Valentine’s Day and take whatever repercussions arrive, no questions asked.

His affection for you has always run deeper than the familial title Gran suggested when you were both so very small.

Caleb, you protect your mei mei by any means necessary.

He took that vow seriously, even now when you’re both adults.

“It’s fine,” you reassure him — and yourself. “It’s stupid anyway. Valentine’s Day is barely a holiday.”

Brows furrowed, Caleb raises his hand to meet you, eclipsing your own. His skin is always so warm, soft despite the callouses from his vigorous workouts.

The softness of this gesture melts away the rest of your rage into an evaporating puddle at your feet.

“It’s not stupid,” he states. “You were excited about going out, and some punk took for granted the best girl in Linkon City.”

His eyes widen briefly before his fingers curl over yours.

“Nope. Uh-uh. The night has barely begun.”

When he tugs you towards your bedroom door, your first step stumbles. “Wait, what?”

“We’re going out.”

Are you hearing things?

“We — huh?”

“Go wait for me in the living room, alright?” he states, briefly kissing the back of your hand before letting go. “I’m sure Gran kept some of my presentable stuff hung up in my closet. Shouldn’t take me that long to get ready. A buddy of mine’s brother owns a restaurant in the shopping district.”

“But Caleb—”

“Ah-ah, nope.”

His lips pop the ‘p’ purposefully.

Caleb turns in a semi-circle to you, his boyish black hair skating over his eyes as the cockiness returns in a grin.

“Actually — might wanna grab your that shoe you tried attacking me with and its twin, then go wait for me in the living room. Can’t have you runnin’ barefoot on the sidewalk. You catch colds too easily.”

In true Caleb fashion, he wouldn’t take no for an answer.

But you have better things to do than placate me!

(It isn’t placating if I want to do it, pipsqueak.)

But you probably have to return super early in the morning!

(Don’t care. I’ve pulled all-nighters worse than this.)

Caleb, you really don’t have to—

(Don’t finish that sentence.)

So you don’t.

Words cease to exist the minute you see Caleb walk out of his bedroom wearing his original Deepspace Aviation Administration dress uniform. You’ve only seen it once before at his graduation, all buttoned up in properly pressed olives and golds.

He walks towards you with that signature smirk of his, the one that makes just about everyone in Linkon City — and now Skyhaven — swoon no matter where he goes.

He looks beautiful.

(He should be out spending this holiday with a proper girlfriend, not you.)

It’s the mantra on your mind the entire way to the restaurant.

The way he holds the door open for you.

The way he pulls your chair out and makes sure you’re properly situated at a candlelit table.

The way he reaches across the table to squeeze your hand as if to reassure you—

Or himself—

That it’s not weird.

It isn’t, right?

Being here with the person who knows you best after all these years when you were meant to be sitting across from a damn near stranger; it isn’t like anyone in this restaurant knows your unusual upbringing, what you mean to one another.

So you squeeze back, and you see it: the tension in Caleb’s shoulders fades away.

For what it’s worth, his friend’s restaurant is far better than whatever you were going to have with your ghost.

The two of you share a bottle of wine and have the longest conversations you’ve held since he left for the academy.

Like the old days.

The ones where you’d spend countless hours in the summer heat enjoying the fireflies.

The night skies littered with stars and swallowed by light pollution — that never stopped Caleb from telling you all about the planes passing over your heads.

Infectious; the sheer excitement to think of a new tomorrow waiting at the end of today.

And like two kids who didn’t know any better, you fell victim to speaking like the other would be an important part of that very tomorrow.

Video calls nightly, reduced to phone calls.

Phone calls weekly, reduced to texts.

Texts to… well, surprises like this.

Now, in the present, he’s still important. He’s still your gege, even if that title is a square piece trying to fit in a circular hole.

No person will ever fill the Caleb-sized hole left in his absence as he reaches for the stars he so desperately wished to seek.

(And the wine’s beginning to taste like he needs to know that.)

“C’mon. Hop up.”

You’re several blocks from the restaurant walking in silence when Caleb is the first to break through the silence.

Ordering any and all desserts off the menu that your heart desires, demanding the check to pay completely on his own dime — he’s spoiled you and then some tonight.

I’ll take care of you, remember? That was my promise.

Except this is Valentine’s Day.

(Don’t you understand the importance of Valentine’s Day, gege?)

The question lingers on your tongue with venomous self hatred. Caleb has always been quick to act as your savior, putting your needs above all else, but this was the one night where you wanted something special.

You can’t be special to the man walking beside you, not in the way the holiday suggests.

Too many problems.

Too many implications.

(We’re not joined by blood, only wine.)

That very wine turns sour the longer your heels irritate your feet in this slow, silent trek back to Gran’s house.

It’s when his melodic voice snaps you out of your mental spiral, causing your eyes to meet a softening violet gaze.

Winking, he assumes position: the taller man playfully squats with his hands low and at the ready to catch you mid-flight.

“What?” you finally blurt, trying to catch up to where this came from.

“C’mon, you’ve been wobbling on those heels for two blocks,” Caleb states, nodding once and nearly knocking his aviation cap. “Get on up here.”

“You want to carry me?”

“Does it look like I’m proposing anything else?” he retorts. “Don’t get big and brave. Big and brave means we’ll be dealing with blisters.”

When you hesitate a second more, his voice drops to a gentler tone.

“You’re overthinking, pipsqueak. I don’t want you hurting your feet. You got a city to keep safe in the morning, remember?”

Damn it.

He’s not wrong.

Relentling as you sling your small purse over your shoulder, you assume position with your arms wrapped around his neck.

When you hop up, Caleb effortlessly catches you without so much as a grunt from the added weight.

“Thatta girl. See, was that so hard?”

“I don’t have my hunter’s license yet,” you answer instead, combating his earlier sentiment as you relax against his back. He’s always been strong, but you're surprised by the sheer muscle nestled against your chest. “I’m not saving any lives right now.”

“You never know,” he states as he easily maneuvers across the street to stay the course leading to Gran’s house. “You’re smart. Capable. Strong. Who’s to say you don’t graduate early?”

“Oh, har-har,” you grumble as you drop your cheek against his back. Even if you can’t see it, the low chuckle he emits helps you envision a growing grin. “I won’t be graduating tomorrow. Early, maybe, but definitely not tomorrow.”

“How’s it going, by the way?”

“Mm?”

“Hunter school, duh.”

“Oh, you’re asking now?”

Caleb turns a corner, giving him a momentary pause. “You didn’t seem like you wanted to talk about it at dinner.”

No, you didn’t.

(It’s so irritating, being seen sometimes.)

“Besides getting ditched for a date?” you inquire. “Not bad.”

Biceps tense against your sides.

“You didn’t get ditched,” he corrects, airier than before. “You made better plans.”

“Technically you told me to grab my shoes, so I didn’t make anything,” you argue in return, the wine adding a boldness to your tongue. “I just followed your orders.”

With a tsk, tsk, tsk under his breath, the fingers around your thighs squeeze the bare flesh as a teasing warning to knock it off.

Caleb finally crosses the street to Gran’s front door, only setting you down to fish the front door key from his uniform pocket.

As soon as he has the door opened, however, he props it with his knee and loops an arm around your back.

Using the hand curled around your upper arm, he pushes you backwards and straight into his arms. He scoops just under your knees in a bridal style carry through the threshold of the house.

Your shriek twists into a bewildered cackle at the abruptness of his gentlemanly reprise, your arms scrambling to hold his neck for dear life.

He carefully maneuvers you both into your bedroom. “What?” he asks with amusement peppering his tone. “Something up?”

“Yes!” you laugh as he gingerly sets you down on your bed. “Or — I guess not anymore.”

Caleb grins as he drops to a knee, his slender fingers deftly working on the loops of your heels.

“Haven’t heard you laugh like that since high school.”

“No?”

“Nah,” he states, sliding the shoe off with caution — avoiding any possible blisters they may have caused while simultaneously searching your heel and toes for blemishes. When satisfied, he starts on the second heel. “It’s nice.”

“You’re making fun of me.”

“I’m being serious, pipsqueak,” he replies, brows knit together with another huff of amusement. “I was afraid hunter school would’ve wiped off your sense of humor or something. The pros in the field always seem so… serious.”

His fingers absently rub along the arch of your foot, pressing into the tender muscle with the pads of his thumbs.

Your eyelids flutter from the sheer pleasure of such a simple movement.

Just as you’d hoped that maybe he’d continue tending to the weary soles of your feet, Caleb freezes.

His hands remain where they are, but his eyes drop to your lap to avoid yours.

Something feels… off.

Like there’s something on the tip of his tongue — something maybe lingering on yours as well — but the silence engulfs the telepathic conversation warring in your minds.

So you break it, skirting past the tension.

“This is the best Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had,” you admit under your breath, earnest and appreciative.

Caleb’s chin lifts without hesitation this time, his violet eyes wider.

The muscles in his cheeks twitch, suppressing a smile before it can fully surface, before speaking just as softly.

“Your only — hopefully.”

“Not my only, no.”

When his face falls, you cheekily follow up with a growing smile of your own.

“Technically you used to always be my Valentine, back in the day, so I've had Valentine's Days to remember before. Don’t think I forgot the baskets you used to make up for me so easily.”

It takes a second, but life eventually returns to his face in screaming color.

If the room wasn’t so dark, you’d swear the man kneeling before you was blushing.

“Damn, you remember those crappy things?”

“Do you seriously think I’d forget my after school Valentine’s Day baskets, Caleb? Really?”

“It’s been a while,” he argues, letting go of your foot to rest both palms on the ruffled sheets on either side of your hips. “We were just kids.”

“Yeah, but it meant something.”

Just like tonight.

Caleb has always gone above and beyond for your comfort.

(Your praise.)

Always putting your needs before his; always sorting out solutions that benefit you the most; always coming in last for eating, for sleeping, for taking showers, for…

Everything.

Even tonight, so long as it means it makes you happy.

Yet even if the wine loosens your secrets, you don’t expect him to confess why he spent so much of his waking hours catering to you and you alone.

(Square space, meet circular abyss.)

His eyes crinkle as he smiles up at you, admiring what sits in front of him.

The look makes your stomach somersault, heart yearning to reach for him — to touch the warmth of his skin and bask in an endless summer —

“You look deep in thought, pipsqueak.”

Caleb’s voice takes you from the dreamlike fantasy, short-circuiting the directive to never speak about what’s right in front you.

“You said this was a date, right?”

The question falls out of your mouth faster than intended.

Still all smiles, you note the furrow in Caleb’s brow.

“Sure, why?”

“And it was good?”

“I mean, I thought so,” he states. “We didn’t even come home with leftovers, so I can’t imagine you’re gonna tell me that you hated the restaur—”

“Don’t good dates usually end with a kiss?”

Every ounce of heat in this room vanishes in a flash.

The playful smile remains, but the intent shifts from earnest to disingenuous in a flinch.

A mask; micro-movements in the muscles of his face show a new story about the night, one not as innocent as his knight in shining armor may have originally displayed.

You can only hope you aren’t reading between the wrong lines.

When your question isn’t met with an answer, rejection squeezes your stomach mercilessly.

You didn’t read between the lines, no — you crossed them, possibly to a degree you may never recover from.

“It’s fine,” you blurt immediately, waving your hands wildly in front of your chest.

Caleb’s face falls in worried despair, and you find that this new onslaught of adrenaline is making you nauseous.

“Wait—”

“Forget I said that. Whoops, the wine—”

“Hey, no, don’t hide from me.”

Before you can press your palm to your forehead, those same warm hands curl around your fingers to tug it down.

“C’mon.”

“I shouldn’t have said that.”

Stupid.

Stupid, stupid, stupid—

In an attempt to create some distance, you push yourself back onto your bed and swing your bare feet out of Caleb’s orbit, side-stepping him completely.

Standing to take to a pace, you don’t have the willpower to ask him to leave.

“It’s fine, seriously. Thank you for the nice night,” you keep going, trying to talk yourself out of the panic you feel eroding your belly.

Crying would just make this worse.

“Pipsqueak, don’t.”

“You said you had an early morning, right?”

Finally turning to face him, his image is watery at best.

You blink as fast as you can to eliminate the tears brewing in your eyes, but they seem to be working faster.

Caleb’s eyes grow impossibly wide at the sight of your struggles, as though your confliction hurts his very goddamn soul.

His long legs take one stride, another, a final until his large hands imprison your face to stare right into his.

You realize too late that he’s leaning in.

Dipping down.

—and a pause.

What was once covered in ice is thawed, and soon the warmth — the heat — of the most important man of your life returns.

Those violet eyes stare down at your nose, dipping lower, cursed to stall.

You don’t move.

Couldn’t, not when your lungs have seized with confusion; anticipation.

“Tell me not to.”

His voice doesn’t sound the same — once cocky and confident, walking through life with everyone adoring his Midas touch, now withers and dies as a broken plea.

His breath mixes with yours.

You can still smell the red wine on his tongue.

“...Caleb?”

The pinkish flecks of his eyes flicker when he raises his attention.

In the dim light of the window, he looks boyish here.

Scared.

“Tell me not to,” he weakly repeats. “Just tell me not to and I won’t.”

Oh.

Now you’re the one at a loss for words.

“If you didn’t mean to ask,” he clarifies, tone trembling, “if you want to rewind to five minutes ago, then I’ll go to my room. I’ll leave in the morning, but if you —”

Stopping himself, the man looks physically pained when his eyes close, inhaling slowly as if to settle his budding nerves.

The tension in his jaw bubbles, clenches, until he exhales through his nose as steadily as he can.

“But if you say yes, I won’t be—”

“Please?”

The word — the request, the plea — escapes faster than intended.

So does Caleb’s restraint.

Both hands holding your face drag you forward, your bare feet sliding along the floor, until you feel a gentle pressure on your lips.

Your hands grab the front of his uniform, balling the fabric between your fists as you decidedly press back.

His makes a noise of surprise against your mouth, melting into the reciprocation.

You notice as you both exhale, parting for only a moment before pressing lips against lips once more, that his hands are shaking.

Maybe you’re shaking, too.

Because it should feel wrong. Every time you’ve fantasized about being the girl he takes to a formal, the woman his eyes linger on for too long from across the bar, you’ve been struck with the immense shame in the back of your mind.

Wrong, like he was ever truly blood.

Wrong, like the fates laughed in the face of undeniable desire.

Wrong, like you would ever love anyone more than Caleb.

Nothing has ever felt more right.

All you can focus on is the way he smells, like woodsy cologne and red wine; the way he touches you so preciously, his thumb absently running along your cheekbone the longer you kiss in the middle of your bedroom; the way he sounds with every press and pull, gutted with pure arousal and want.

Your name, fluttering against his tongue, before it glides along your lower lip.

You don’t deny him.

He groans as if your refusal to stop could ruin him, but there is a sharp inhale before a chill passes against your glistening lips.

Caleb pulls away to find a purchase of air, violet eyes as dark as deepspace while regarding the haze of affection he’s met by your fluttering eyes.

“Hey.”

The greeting is shy.

Small.

Swallowing to coat your dry throat, you weakly reply. “Hey.”

“You good?” he murmurs, petting the crown of your head affectionately.

A dam has broken — for the next few minutes, you have Caleb at his most raw.

Gone is the guarded expression you’ve learned to live with, replaced with radiating affection.

Despite yourself, you nod.

“Should I ask where you learned to kiss like that?”

He huffs, shaking his head. “I didn’t.”

Wait.

Your expression smooths with recognition. “What do you mean—?”

A smile, euphoric and unabashed, breaks out.

“What, you think I’m busy kissing aliens or something when I’m out flying?”

Scorned by his playfulness, you bump your fist against his broad chest.

“Caleb.”

“What?” he teases. “You asked — but, ah… no. That was—”

His brow knits for a moment, a blush creeping up his neck to his ears.

“My best effort at my first. Why, couldn’t tell?”

You.

His first kiss happened with you.

Your lips tingle with the shock — the sheer satisfaction — of holding that title.

“Don’t go back to your room tonight,” you softly state instead, reaching for his hand to squeeze it. The blush on his face only intensifies, so you let out a tiny scoff. “To cuddle, genius. I’m not looking to check off all of the boxes in one night.”

Caleb makes a tsk sound with his tongue before tilting his head.

“Preserving my honor, I see.”

“Uh-huh, sure.”

Even if you’ve gone past the point of no return—-

Even if you’re crossed the line—

Somehow he’s still Caleb, and you’re still you.

You thought that if one day you both took the impossible, forbidden leap of faith, that it would destroy the very foundation of what you’ve been since you were children.

Yet it feels like it was meant to always be this way — as if it’s as catastrophic as a rogue breeze on a summer night.

Taking his hand, you pull him back to your bed.

As you slide onto the mattress to get comfortable, Caleb shrugs out of his uniform jacket, leaving him in a white tee.

He crawls alongside you the way he used to during thunderstorms, scooping you close to his chest while his heavy arm settles around your waist.

Protective.

You settle against him just as you always have, eyes closed.

Only the feel of his heart racing against your back remains.

For a moment you both lay here, basking in what’s happened — what will never be the same — before his voice murmurs against your neck.

“If you ever wanted to check off all of the boxes—”

His nose nuzzles your skin, humming at its scent.

“—they’ve always been yours to take.”

author's note: caleb gripped me tight and raised me from season depression perdition and i owe him my life (dramatic but true). this is my first ever lads fic despite being a week one player so tysm for reading !! i hope to write more in the very near future. happy valentine's day, tumblr friends. xoxo amy

#caleb love and deepspace #caleb x reader #lads caleb #caleb lads #caleb x mc #caleb fluff #love and deepspace caleb #love and deepspace fic #lnds fluff #lads fanfic #lads fluff

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jellykyunnie · 3 months ago

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˗ˏˋ Entry : 056 - Lover! Sung Jinwoo x Fem! Reader: Drabbles ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ ˎˊ˗

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚ 𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕘 𝕁𝕚𝕟𝕨𝕠𝕠 ˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

╰┈➤ ❝ [ Winter Blues ] ¡! ❞

Curse Winter.

As lovely as the season is— It's stretching on for far too long and now you're in your room bedrotting the hours away since somehow you feel your body extremely heavy as of late.

You know you should be doing productive things instead of procrastinating, but what can you do if your body feels as if it has a ton of weight placed on it?

So screw it and just stay in bed.

That's the best way to deal with this issue, just screw it all and rest peacefully.

꒰ .... ꒱

"Jagiya?" Jinwoo calls out as he enters the pitch black room and turns on a lamp— To which he hears you grunting and whining the moment the soft yellow light flashes around.

A small smile only tugs at the corner of his lips, shaking his head and sets the takeout food he ordered on your desk before approaching the bed.

"Jagiya, you know you shouldn't be in bed all day" He cooes lovingly, rubbing your back to soothe you. "Are you sick?"

"No, winter is just making me so lazy" You complain, shuffling over to his lap and nuzzling his stomach.

"Mn... I guess it's extra cold today, huh?" Jinwoo smiles. "Come here"

He lifts you up to his lap, settling you on his thighs while pulling your head to hide on his neck.

"There, there" He hums lovingly, peppering the side of your head with gentle and lingering kisses. "I can't have you get too lazy, but for now I'll indulge in you."

He had always been spoiling you ever since the both of you started dating. Honestly you don't even know how you managed to pull a hotshot like him. People are always intimidated by him, specifically the men, the girls? —Oh they have a fat crush on him.

Can't blame them, Jinwoo is hauntingly so handsome after all.

With pretty grey eyes like his and a deadly good looking face with a body tall and lanky but muscular— Why wouldn't you fall for him? He's like an idol himself that made you feel very self-concious about the fact someone as mediocre as you is dating such a good looking man.

But somehow you managed to date him because you to met by a friend of a friend, became friends yourselves, and then he courted you somewhere down the line.

If Jinwoo ever finds out about your insecurity— You'll be in for a long scolding session and making you tell yourself you're absolutely prety in front of the mirror.

Yeah, he has a very... Unique way of scolding you.

So now you're here, being babied by Sung Jinwoo. Never spent a day without having him spoiling you one way or another.

May it be cuddles or kisses— You'll always have them and he make sure you do.

"Wanna eat some noodles? I bought some home?" He reaches out to the food he bought home and opened the plastic bowl. "Come on, you can't be lazy in eating too, sarang"

And so, he started feeding you as if you're a child.

It's embarassing to be treated like this but Jinwoo himself seems to be enjoying the fact that you are this reliant on him. He made sure to blow on the noodles before feeding them to you of course, he can't have your pretty little tongue burnt since he intends to kiss you until you're breathless later.

"Heh..."

"What?" You perk up at his little chuckle after gulping down the soup on the bowl.

"Nothing, you just look especially cuter as of late" He wipes the excess soup on your lips with his thumb before bringing it to his lips. "Still feeling a bit fatigued?"

"I feel a little better now" You mumble, nuzzling against him like a clingy kitten.

"Mn..." He hums, kissing your forehead affectionately. "I guess I should baby you more for now, huh?"

"My lovely sarang."

꒰ 🪼 A/N: A short fluffy fic because I want to heheh~ I'm planning on posting another fluffy fic before a lovesick one because hehhhheeh!!!!~~ Are you guys excited for another lovesick fic :D? ꒱

ʚ(੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭ .｡✧: ~ —! stories written by kyunnie; translations, reposts, plagiarism are strictly forbidden.

#‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡🪐༘⋆— kyunnie's writings #sung jinwoo #solo leveling #sung jin woo #only i level up #solo leveling headcanons #sung jinwoo x reader #sung jinwoo x you #sung jin woo x reader #sung jinwoo headcanons #sung jin woo headcanons #sung jinwoo x reader fluff #solo leveling x reader #solo leveling fanfic #ore dake level up na ken

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reasonsforhope · 2 years ago

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"The sleeping giant of the US Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has stirred.

In the past month, an avalanche of anti-pollution rules, targeting everything from toxic drinking water to planet-heating gases in the atmosphere, have been issued by the agency. Belatedly, the sizable weight of the US federal government is being thrown at longstanding environmental crises, including the climate emergency.

On Thursday [May 18, 2023], the EPA’s month of frenzied activity was crowned by the toughest ever limits upon carbon pollution from America’s power sector, with large, existing coal and gas plants told they must slash their emissions by 90% or face being shut down.

The measure will, the EPA says, wipe out more than 600m tons of carbon emissions over the next two decades, about double what the entire UK emits each year. But even this wasn’t the biggest pollution reduction announced in recent weeks.

In April, new emissions standards for cars and trucks will eliminate an expected 9bn tons of CO2 by the mid-point of the century, while separate rules issued late last year aim to slash hydrofluorocarbons, planet-heating gases used widely in refrigeration and air conditioning, by 4.6bn tons in the same timeframe. Methane, another highly potent greenhouse gas, will be curtailed by 810m tons over the next decade in another EPA edict.

In just a few short months the EPA, diminished and demoralized under Donald Trump, has flexed its regulatory muscles to the extent that 15bn tons of greenhouse gases – equivalent to about three times the US’s carbon pollution, or nearly half of the entire world’s annual fossil fuel emissions – are set to be prevented, transforming the power basis of Americans’ cars and homes in the process...

If last year’s Inflation Reduction Act (IRA), with its $370bn in clean energy subsidies and enticements for electric car buyers, was the carrot to reducing emissions, the EPA now appears to be bringing a hefty stick.

The IRA should help reduce US emissions by about 40% this decade but the cut needs to be deeper, up to half of 2005 levels, to give the world a chance of avoiding catastrophic heatwaves, wildfires, drought and other climate calamities. The new rules suddenly put America, after years of delay and political rancor, tantalizingly within reach of this...

“It’s clear we’ve reached a pivotal point in human history and it’s on all of us to act right now to protect our future,” said Michael Regan, the administrator of the EPA, in a speech last week at the University of Maryland. The venue was chosen in a nod to the young, climate-concerned voters Joe Biden hopes to court in next year’s presidential election, and who have been dismayed by Biden’s acquiescence to large-scale oil and gas drilling.

“Folks, this is our future we are talking about, and we have a once-in-a-generation opportunity for real climate action,” [Michael Regan, the administrator of the EPA], added. “Failure is not an option, indifference is not an option, inaction is not an option.” ...

It’s not just climate the EPA has acted upon in recent months. There are new standards for chemical plants, such as those that blight the so-called "Cancer Alley" the US, from emitting cancer-causing toxins such as benzene, ethylene oxide and vinyl chloride. New rules curbing mercury, arsenic and lead from industrial facilities have been released, as have tighter limits on emissions of soot and the first ever regulations targeting the presence of per- and polyfluoroalkylsubstances (or PFAS) in drinking water.” ...

For those inside the agency, the breakneck pace has been enervating. “It’s definitely a race against time,” said one senior EPA official, who asked not to be named. “The clock is ticking. It is a sprint through a marathon and it is exhausting.” ...

“We know the work to confront the climate crisis doesn’t stop at strong carbon pollution standards,” said Ben Jealous, the executive director of the Sierra Club.

“The continued use or expansion of fossil power plants is incompatible with a livable future. Simply put, we must not merely limit the use of fossil fuel electricity – we must end it entirely.”"

-via The Guardian (US), 5/16/23

#epa #environmental protection agency #united states #us politics #coal #cw cancer mention #pfas #sustainability #carbon emissions #good news #hope

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cevansbrat0007 · 6 months ago

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Witches' Brouhaha

Summary: Ari saves you from a real-life fright on Halloween night...

Warnings: Mature Themes, Smut, Ari Being A Menace, Drunk/Abusive Asshole, Mildly Racist/Xenophobic Language, Mentions of Domestic Violence, Angry/Protective Ari, Physical Violence, Face Slapping, Wrestling, Manhandling, Oral Sex (Male rec), Cum Swallowing, Allusions to P in V Sex, Cursing, Minors DNI

A/N: Part my Sweet Renegade Series. Semi-proofread, not beta'd. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!

“Well, this should be the last of it.” You huff, setting a box of decorations and spare prizes down on the desk in the back of your shop. Wiping your hands on your gown, you turn around just in time to avoid colliding with your friend, Marisol Gonzalez, as she carries in several oversized event posters.

“Sorry! Comin’ through.” She breezes by you, doing her best not to trip over the hem of her dress.

“Just lean them against the wall.” You tell her, stretching your arms above your head. “Yeah, right there is fine.”

Tonight’s Spooktacular Soiree at the local library had been an overwhelming success. You’d co-hosted the event with Marisol, who also happened to be the town librarian. While it was true that she was a couple years younger than you, you two had become fast friends over the past few months. And when she’d pitched this idea to you over coffee at the end of the summer, you’d known immediately that you wanted to be a part of it.

It was a family friendly event, complete with music and games, dancing, a costume contest and, of course, books. Tons and tons of books. Talk about a perfect way to spend your Halloween. And you couldn’t have been more pleased with the turnout.

Which was why, after numerous requests, you were already planning on doing the same thing again next year. Matter of fact, you two are so excited by the prospect, that you’re already discussing ideas when Ari walks in.

“So, word on the street is that tonight was a smashing success.” You immediately perk up at the sound of him joining you in your office. “Not that I expected anything less from the Wicked Witch of the West and Cleopatra.” The handsome bounty hunter tosses a wink your way.

“Actually, I’m dressed as Nefertiti.” Marisol corrects him with a smile.

“My mistake.” He amends before reaching for your hand to press a soft kiss to your knuckles.

“Eh, no biggie. I gave up trying to explain it to people about an hour into the party anyway.” She tells him with a shrug. “Hey, chica. Should we go check to make sure we got everything out of your car?”

“Yeah.” You sigh before standing up and offering Ari your chair.

“Need some help, ladies?”

“Nah. We got it.” You reassure him, rising on your toes to kiss his cheek. “Just keep my seat warm for me, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He gifts you with a lazy smile as he slides into your chair, crossing his legs at the ankles. "Hurry back now."

After triple checking that you’ve gotten everything out of your vehicle, you and Marisol return to the warmth and comfort of Baubles & Quills. Still riding the high of tonight’s success, you’re actually in the middle of showing off a new display when you hear the chime of your front door opening behind you.

“Sorry, but we’re closed. Come back tomorrow…” The words die on your lips the moment you see who the hell just waltzed into your shop holding a bulging pillowcase.

Although you’re not exactly sure who you were expecting, it was safe to say that this was the last person you wanted to see – especially on a night like tonight. Because standing before you is a man by the name of Dale Edwards.

And it becomes alarmingly clear that he’s drunk as fucking skunk.

“Dale.” You begin, keeping your voice calm and even. “We’re closed right now. I’m afraid you’ll have to come back tomorrow.”

“Hell naw.” The pudgy man slurs. “I–I…drove all the way here to deal with your ass now.” His murky gaze strays over Marisol, as if he just realized that you weren’t alone. “And when I’m done with you, I’ma call immigration on Gaudilupe here. Let ‘em know they might want to stop by for a visit.”

Your mouth falls open in shock as Marisol audibly gasps. Even though she spoke with a hint of an accent, the woman was as much of a citizen as you were. Not that she owed anyone an explanation.

Least of all him.

“Get out or I’m calling the cops.” You threaten, wishing you were standing near your panic button.

“Go ahead.” Dale snarls, spittle flying from his mouth. “And I’ll tell ‘em that I wanna press charges against the bitches who tried to corrupt my daughters by giving them pornography!”

“Now that is an absolute lie, Mr. Edwards!” The sweet librarian exclaims. “You know we would never do something like that.”

“Yeah? Well, I…” He shakes his head in an effort to regroup. “I went through their rooms. Got all the evi–evidence right here.” The man shakes the bag. “And I know you tried it again tonight. With families!” His voice grows louder with each word. “Offering candy like you ain’t just invited 'em to dance with the Devil!”

Oh good God, this was not going well.

“Marisol.” You whisper as you look around for a weapon. “There should be a phone right there next to the register. Grab it and dial 911.”

Unfortunately for you, you make the mistake of taking your eyes off the man for two seconds. Which is why you miss the moment Dale reaches his hand into his bag before chucking the contents in your direction.

Drunk or not, the man proves to have good aim. Which is something you find out the hard way when several pieces of hard candy manage to graze your left cheek, making you scream.

Thankfully, it doesn’t hurt. Much.

Momentarily stunned, all you can do is stare back at him, mouth open, as you try to process what the hell had just happened.

Because had this man really just thrown a fistful of candy at you? At ten o’clock on Halloween night?

“What the actual fuck–?” Is all you can manage before turning your head to look at Marisol’s equally shocked expression.

“Um, Dale…I mean Mr. Edwards…I think it’s time you left now.” The sweet librarian tries, holding the phone tighter to her chest.

“I ain’t goin’ nowhere.” He snarls at the same time as one of his pudgy hands grabs ahold of your discount book rack, knocking it over, sending almost two dozen of your precious books crashing to the ground. “In fact, I think it’s high time someone put the fear of God into you two bitch–” Dale falters suddenly, his spine going ramrod straight at the sound of another man’s voice joining the fray.

A voice that belonged to Ari.

In all the commotion, you’d completely forgotten that he was here – peacefully minding his business while he waited for you to join him in the back of your shop.

“Just what in the hell is goin’ on out here?” You find yourself breathing a sigh of relief as your bounty hunter’s deep baritone washes over you like a balm.

“D-Dale was just leaving.” You tell him, sparing a quick glance over your shoulder to offer up a reassuring smile.

“Of course he was.” Ari agrees, jamming his hands into the pockets of jeans. “And as soon as he cleans up his mess, Mr. Edwards can be on his way.”

“I ain’t doin’ shit!” The angry man hisses at the same time as you eek out the nervous “that’s okay”.

However, Ari doesn’t really seem all that in the mood to listen. Not after what he just witnessed before you realized he was standing there. In fact, the only reason he hadn’t already personally introduced this drunken asshole to every goddamned wall in your store was because he didn’t want to cause anymore unnecessary damage.

But that also didn’t mean he wouldn’t.

He’s by your side in seconds, his eyes never once leaving the other male’s disgruntled form as his long legs eat up the space between you.

“You okay, Marisol?” He asks, not bothering to hide the tick in his jaw.

“I–I’m fine, Mr. Levinson.”

“Glad to hear it, darlin’.” The bounty hunter takes a second to roll his shoulders, cracking his neck as he does. “Do me a favor. Take that box to the back and ring Bell’s Creek PD for me, would ya? Tell ‘em we’ve got a buddy here waiting for pick up. Go on, now.” He tacks on the last bit when he notices the young librarian hesitate briefly.

She hustles away with a nod. And although she tries to hide it, Ari doesn’t miss the way her lower lip starts to tremble as she makes her way to safety. Shit sets his teeth on edge. So much so, that he doesn’t speak again until he’s confident she’s out of earshot.

“Gotta be honest, fella, I’m about two seconds from breaking your fuckin’ jaw.”

“It’s okay, Ari. Really.” You try once more, bending your knees so you can begin collecting the candy littering your floor. “I can…I’ll tidy this up.”

“Baby.” The danger laced in his silky tone has you halting your movements almost immediately. “Don’t you fuckin’ dare.” Once he’s confident he’s gotten your attention, he returns his attention back to the man at the heart of this disruption.

“You know what I hate, Dale?” The man at your side grunts, pushing up the sleeves of his thermal to reveal his brawny forearms.

“This here ain’t none of your business, Levinson.” Your aggressor hisses, spittle flying from his lips. “Hell! This ain’t even your town.”

“Men who act like bullies once they’ve got a little drink in ‘em.” Ari shrugs, continuing on as if he hadn’t spoken. “Especially with women. Really pisses me the fuck off.”

It’s only then that one of his hands goes to grip your chin, forcing you to meet his stormy gaze. While he was almost certain that you weren’t hurt, you knew there was a part of him that needed to see for himself. And although it’s hard, you manage to resist the urge to lean into his touch.

“I run my house, okay? I–” Dale wobbles to the left before finding his balance. “I am the king of my goddamned castle and I don’t want my family readin’ any of the trash these two like to peddle.” He rails, pointing an accusatory finger at you. “Have you seen ‘em, Levinson? We’re talkin’ stories about women openly fornicatin’ with all kinds of creatures! Demons and vampires, an-and werewolves. Why, they might as well be…be…layin’ with dogs!”

“Oh go to hell!” You snort, unable to catch the words before they come tumbling out of your mouth. “You seriously just insulted the entire genre of paranormal romance!”

“Easy, Bird.” Ari murmurs, even as you bristle.

“You and Guadalupe over there are out here promotin’ beastiality. I’ve seen it on the cover of those damned books. The same ones I caught my girls readin’!”

Gritting your teeth, you close your eyes and force yourself to take a deep breath. It’s not like you’d forced those books on his girls, both of whom were 19 and 22 respectively. They were romance novel junkies, just like you. And you couldn’t be more proud that you’d turned them onto authors like Kresley Cole, Jeaniene Frost, and Nalini Singh.

But deep down you also knew there was no use in arguing with this man. All you really wanted was him out of your store so you could finally lock-up and go home.

“Look Dale, you’re drunk. I can see it and I can most definitely smell it.” Your fingers come up to pinch the bridge of your nose. “If you leave now, I promise I won’t press charges.”

Which means your poor wife won’t be stuck bailing you out of jail. Again. Although you’re smart enough to leave that last part unsaid.

“I ain’t leavin’ until I’ve made my point.” Dale grunts, kicking at one of your fallen books. You grimace when you notice the way his boot rips the cover, nearly tearing it in half. “This filth ain’t welcome in my town.”

“Jesus Christ, you moron - the police are already on their fucking way so it’s your goddamned funeral!” You screech, throwing your hands up in the air.

“How ‘bout you shut your whore mouth before I –” Unfortunately for him, Dale doesn’t get the chance to finish his sentence.

Moving with a speed that belies his size, you can only watch in what feels like slow motion your bounty hunter strikes. Slapping the other man dead in his mouth with enough force to send him staggering backwards.

“Let that be the last time I hear you disrespect this young lady.” Ari rumbles, the fierce sound coming from somewhere deep in his chest. “And her shop.”

“I think you cracked my tooth!” He wails, clutching at his injured jaw. “And all over this bitch and her—ah fuck!” You can’t help but wince when his drunken stream of consciousness is interrupted once more when Ari slaps him in the mouth for yet the second time.

“Now what the fuck did I just say, Dale?” His dark chuckle makes you shiver. “Nope – eyes on me, buddy. There we go.” Your bounty hunter does a quick side step, using his big body to shield you from view.

Feeling a bit dizzy, you lightly grip the back of your man’s shirt as you silently will your pulse to settle down. It had been awhile since you’d seen Ari like this. The last time he’d gotten physical with another man over you had been back at the local tavern. The night you credited with jumpstarting your relationship.

A pained noise escapes Dale’s throat as he takes another step backwards. And then, wouldn’t you know it? That motherfucker has the nerve to spit out a broken tooth. The sound of it hitting your hardwood floor seems to echo throughout the store.

“I reckon you’re gonna want to see a dentist about that.” Comes the lawman’s cheeky response before he turns to you.

Smiling down at you, he’s actually in the middle of instructing you to go check on Marisol when a hard covered tome connects with the side of his head. But to your surprise, Ari doesn’t even so much as flinch.

In fact, he barely reacts at all. At least not until the guy tries to tackle him, sending them both flying and you scrambling out of the way. Any real worry for your man fades when you see him quickly regain the upper hand. He lands a solid blow to the pudgy man’s kidney before pinning him to the floor with a knee in his back, his right arm trussed up in a way that looks mighty uncomfortable.

“Fuck you, asshole!” Dale squeals, belatedly reminding you of a stuck pig. “Fight me…” He wheezes. “Like a–like a man!”

“Dale, if I fought you like a man we’d be callin’ you an ambulance right about now.” Ari snarls before twisting the other man’s arm hard enough to make his bones snap. It only makes the man squeal louder. “Now apologize to my lady for making an absolute ass out of yourself tonight. And it had better be fuckin’ good, or I swear I’m gonna do a hell of a lot worse than a bruised kidney and dislocated shoulder.”

Seeing your man like this, acting so protective and possessive over you and your shopwas doing funny things to those damned butterflies in your belly. Although you liked to think that you were more than capable of handling yourself, knowing that you had a man in your life who wouldn’t think twice about defending your honor made you feel so unbelievably loved and cherished.

It also made you wet as fuck.

As your thoughts take an increasingly naughty turn, you get so caught up in the heat pooling between your thighs that you almost miss what’s transpiring in front of you. Key word: almost.

“I don’t think she heard you, Dale.” You watch as the man continues to thrash in Ari’s hold, his pathetic mewls of pain falling on deaf ears. “How bout you try that again?”

“I’m sorry!”

Covering your mouth with your hand, all you can do is nod. Seconds later, flashing red and blue lights capture your attention as two squad cars pull into your parking lot.

Frankly, it was about damn time.

You’re so grateful when Deputy Milton and another officer come waltzing through your front door. Just as Marisol makes her way back into your lobby.

Milton frowns the moment he catches sight of her. While you had suspected that he might have a thing for the young librarian, his reaction only seemed to confirm it. Because you honestly couldn’t remember the last time you saw him angry before today.

“We got a call about a disturbance?” The Deputy surveys the scene, his frown growing more pronounced at the sight of the books and candy strewn across the ground. “Would you happen to know anything about that, Dale?”

His response comes out muffled. Not that it really matters any.

“I already informed Mr. Edwards that you boys would be more than happy to escort him back to the station.” Comes Ari’s gruff reply. “As soon as he cleans up his mess.”

“You know, I think the owner of this establishment would really appreciate that.” Milton cheekily turns to the officer at his side. “Right, Elkins?”

“I reckon it’s the only gentlemanly thing to do.” Officer Elkins pauses to wave at Marisol before continuing. “Ms. Gonzalez mentioned something about you both being assaulted. Would either of you ladies like press charges?”

You both shake your head no. If anything, you were pretty sure that Marisol wanted this whole nightmare to be over the same as you.

“Alright. Guess that makes today your lucky day, then. Huh, Dale?” The officer hauls the man to his feet once Ari releases him. “Now, I’d get to cleanin’ if I was you. I’m anxious to get back to the supper I left behind at the station.”

“You can’t be…” The man sucks in a harsh breath. “That guy just broke my tooth and you expect me to…to…”

“Clean up your mess?” Milton helpfully supplies. “Absolutely.” All three men chime at the same time.

“And when you’re done, we’ll escort you to your room. I’ll let you know right now that it ain’t the Marriott, but I suppose it’s better than the cold, hard ground.” The deputy muses with a shrug. “Mariam kicked you out after this latest episode. Can’t say I blame her after what you did to her face.”

“Oh my God.” You murmur, wrapping your arms around Ari’s trim waist. “Is she okay?”

“Eh.” Milton casts a sideways glare at Dale, silently warning him that he better get a move-on. Or else. “She walked away from tonight with a couple stitches. And possibly one hell of a wake-up call.”

You decide you’re better off remaining silent as haggard-looking Dale Edwards begins collecting the books he’d upended. And you remain that way even as he begins haphazardly stacking them back on the shelf.

Which was fine. You’d simply fix it tomorrow.

Next he moves to pick the candy he’d thrown at you. A soft sigh escapes you when you feel your man’s warm, lightly calloused palm come to rest on the back of your neck, giving you a reassuring squeeze.

The entire process takes a little longer than it should, but given that the man is obviously inebriated, nobody sees fit to complain.

Eventually, the task is complete. And a defeated Dale is led away in cuffs before being placed in the back of Elkins’ squad car.

Good riddance.

And when you offer to give Marisol a ride home, you’re not the least bit surprised you’re intercepted by Milton, who eagerly agrees to escort the traumatized woman home. They’re out the door a few moments later, leaving you alone with Ari.

“Well shit.” He chuckles, his hand coming up to gently massage his shoulder as he watches you secure the lock. “That was…somethin’.”

Instead of agreeing, you silently turn to face him, your hands resting on your hips. After all of that commotion, you had just one thing on your mind. And you weren’t going to let this man out of your store until you got it.

“It probably wouldn’t hurt to break out the vacuum, Duchess. I can go grab it if you–”

You cut him off a look before grabbing a fistful of his shirt, tugging his head down to your level to capture his lips in a kiss. Swallowing his surprised gasp, you can’t help the moan of appreciation you let out when he grabs your ass – hauling you even closer to his muscled body.

“Fuck that.” You hiss, nipping at his plump bottom lip. “Don’t wanna vacuum.” Needing to taste more of him, you ultimately abandon his mouth in favor of kissing your way along his bearded jaw.

He’d made a man bleed for you tonight. And words simply could not express just how horny that made you.

“Oh yeah?” One of his large hands winds its way into your curls, wrenching your head back so that he can take control. “Then what do you want?” His eager tongue sweeps past your lips to dance with yours as he grinds his rapidly hardening cock against your belly.

“You.” Comes your heated growl as you force him backwards. “I want you.”

Ari doesn’t protest when his back collides against the wall, or when you all but rip the shirt from his body. In fact, he fucking loves it. Although he might not be sure exactly what he did to make you act so goddamned feral, he’ll be damned before you ever hear him complain.

“I’m right here, baby.”

“Need more.” You hardly recognize the sound of your own voice.

A wave of pure feminine satisfaction courses through you when you feel his big body shudder beneath your touch, his soft groan of pleasure driving you even closer to the brink. You rain sweet, hot kisses down the hard expanse of his chest, only pausing your ministrations long enough to give into the temptation to bite his left nipple, before continuing to move lower.

Right now, you were a woman on a mission. And nothing was going to stop you from reaching your intended destination. His turbulent blue eyes darken as they follow the path of your nails gliding along the ridges of his abs, causing goosebumps to rise across his tanned skin.

“Thank you for always protecting me.”

“Fuck! Always.” He grits out through clenched teeth.

Raw hunger fills you the moment you finally reach the fastening of his jeans. You quickly undo the buttons before dropping to your knees to undo the zipper of his fly with your teeth, making your intentions clear.

“Is this what you want, baby?” Your bounty hunter rasps, tangling his fingers in your hair once again. “This what you need right now?”

Meeting his gaze, you nod. Tonight, this man had unlocked something primal inside of you. And at this moment you wanted the taste of this man on your tongue more than anything. It takes you no time to free his impressive member from the confines of his pants before shoving them down his hair covered thighs.

Later, you might allow yourself to be embarrassed by the sound of appreciation the bubbles it’s way past your lips. But not tonight. Refusing to break eye contact, you wrap a hand around his girth as your head dips to lap up a salty bead of precum. A familiar warmth pools in your belly as your core spasms with need.

Ari’s chin tips back on a groan when you draw him into your mouth at the same time as you begin working him up and down with your hand. His fingers dig into your scalp as he spurs you on, loving the little noises you make as you greedily suck him off.

“That’s it, baby. My good fuckin’ girl.”

Emboldened by his response, you increase your pace, hollowing your cheeks with every bob of your head. It’s damn near impossible to take all of him – he was much too big. But you’d been practicing.

Thankfully, your bounty hunter had proven to be a patient man. He never complained whenever you decided you wanted to practice.

You’re rewarded for your efforts when you feel your man’s hips begin to move in time with your rhythm, damn near choking you in the process. But Ari doesn’t stop. Your pretty little mouth feels too goddamned good right now for him to even dream of it.

“Ah shit, Duchess.” He chuckles when you gag around him for the second time. “I know you love it like this. My girl loves chokin’ on my fat dick. Don’t you?” You try to respond as your eyes begin to water, your mascara running down your cheeks.

“Mmph!” Your free hand moves to cup his heavy sac, kneading and massaging as you continue to devour him. And then your mouth moves lower, briefly sucking on his balls in a move that has him rocking back on his heels. In response, Ari readjusts his grip on your curls, forcing himself deeper down your throat. Having anticipated this, you do your damndest to control your response by breathing through your nose.

It works like a charm.

“Fuck, baby.” His eyes roll back in his head as his impending orgasm threatens to overtake him. “Keep–keep me–oh fuck!”

And you were determined to take it all. You were gonna swallow him down like he was your favorite treat. Because let’s be honest, you’d come to crave him just as much as he craved you.

“Cum, Beast.” You purr, swirling your tongue around the plump mushroom head. Once. Twice. “Fucking cum for me.” You allow the wet heat of your mouth to engulf him once more, not missing the way his body begins to tremble beneath you.

He continues to thrust, his breathing becoming more labored as his movements grow increasingly erratic. He was so close. So goddamned close. You knew it. And so did he.

‘Give it to me, baby.” You beg between deep, ragged breaths, no longer caring about how desperate you sound. “Gag me. Make me choke on it.” Your thighs clench together as the heady thrum of pleasure dances along your skin.

And as Ari always liked to say, your wish was his command.

“FUCK!” He roars as he rears back, forcing you to take him to the hilt as jet after jet of his seed pumps its way down your throat.

Once again you’re forced to rely on breathing through your nose until he’s finished, making a show of swallowing him down. And then you lick your lips, not wanting to miss a drop of your man’s salty goodness.

Like the good girl you are, you remain on your knees as you patiently wait for him to recover. You knew without having to check that your panties were positively ruined. That came as no surprise.

“Happy Halloween, Beast.” You murmur, nuzzling your nose against his still half-hard cock.

“Oh yeah.” He responds with a quiet chuckle before gently cupping your chin. “You sure you’re okay, little Bird?” Your eyes flutter closed as he smooths the pad of his thumb along your bottom lip.

“Yeah.” You find yourself leaning into his touch, feeling safer and more protected than ever before.

“Good.”

You watch as he rests his head against the wall, his big body now fully relaxed. But you’re not done with this man yet. Not by a long shot. Which is why you don’t bother trying to hide the impish grin that spreads across your features as you reach for his dick once more.

“But I bet I’ll be even better once you fuck me.”

END

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kannady · 15 days ago

Text

do you remember me too?

pairing: sylus x mc reader

synopsis: love and deepspace was a newfound obsession of yours. you installed the game shortly after sylus was released as a love interest. it'd be safe to say he was the reason you installed the app. however, finals week was approaching and you had to say goodbye to your favourite game. not for long, ofcourse. but you decide to login for the last time to check the new event.

word count: 1.5k

a/n: hey everyone! already back with a new chapter. i honestly didnt expect anyone to read it, but here we are! im gonna leave this chapter here. i actually have exams in a month so i might update late. but i hope you enjoy this please let me know your thoughts <3

check out all chapters here

Chapter Two

You couldn’t believe your ears. Were you hearing right?

“Your appointment with Dr. Zayne.”

Had your obsession with the game gone overboard? This had better be a joke. And if it was, it was definitely a good one. You’d almost forgotten how flustered the phone fiasco had left you. Unable to stifle it anymore, you burst out laughing. You laughed till your stomach hurt, till tears trickled down your cheeks, till you were out of breath.

After what seemed to be ages, you gripped yourself and took a deep, shaky breath. “Oh, my god. Mom. Dad. I love you guys,” you wiped the tears with the back of your hand. “Seriously, I was not ready for a shitty day. But thank you so much. I already feel tons better.” You passed soft smiles to your parents, picked up your bag, and started walking toward your room.

“No, no. Wait, hold up.” Your mom stopped you in your tracks. “You still haven’t given us a plausible explanation as to why you didn’t go.” The worry and concern in her eyes felt genuine. Was she not joking? Everyone was looking at you, waiting for answers. But you were just as confused. When you still didn’t speak up, your dad got up and walked over to you. “Sweetheart, did you not know about the appointment? You were just here when Dr. Zayne called last week. He’s been worried sick, you know.”

You looked questioningly at your parents, hoping they’d get the cue and give you the explanation you needed badly.

“I’m sorry, how do you know who Zayne is?”

“Uh-oh. So, he’s just Zayne now?” Your sister snickered. “Shut up, (reader's sister)!” She was dead serious now. It wasn’t a joke anymore. “Do you play the game too? Did you put Mom and Dad up to this?” Your sister raised an eyebrow. “What the hell is wrong with you?” She didn’t look like she was joking. In fact, nobody did. Everyone had the same expression of cluelessness on their faces.

“Why is everyone acting like Zayne is… How do I put it? That Zayne is… real?”

Maybe you shouldn’t have asked that. Your sister’s eyes widened, and she tried so hard to control her laugh but failed miserably. “Right, so Akso Hospital isn’t real too?” “It’s not.”

Your mom was petrified, and your dad—he looked like he was gonna cry any moment now.

Was this actually happening? You felt your stomach drop. That sick feeling again. When you had to give a presentation, when you got your exam results back, when you opened the college admission email. Oh, they were serious-serious.

“Is everything okay, sweetheart? You can tell us, you know.” Your mom held your hand and looked at you encouragingly. She was asking the solution to a problem that didn’t exist. Your dad actually looked worried. His hands were slightly quivering, his voice shaky and words calculated. “Did some—did something happen on the way?” But your sister—the little devil that always loved to pull pranks on you, who didn’t let a single moment go by without humiliating you—even she looked confused, bewildered, and maybe concerned.

What was your plan now? Go along with it or just confess you had no idea what was going on? What if you went along with it but they actually turned out to be joking? You couldn’t decide. It was all too much, too weird, too confusing. You raked your fingers through your hair, trying to recollect your thoughts, when your gaze stopped on the clock.

10:16 A.M.

“I don’t get it. How is it still 10:16? I was at the park for at least half an hour.” You spoke your thoughts out loud. But your soliloquy went unnoticed.

Your mom rushed over to you and tightly gripped your shoulders. “That doesn’t matter! Just—just tell us why you’re here and not at the hospital.” She was beginning to freak out. Your dad had already started. But your sister—your sister looked different. Yes, she was worried. But she was frowning. Definitely frowning, as if she couldn’t believe what was happening either. As if she, somehow, deep down knew what was happening.

Okay. Think, brain. Think fast!

“Umm… Um, I… I actually forgot about that.” You smiled as wide as you could, flashing your teeth. “Yeah, everything’s okay, you know. Fine, absolutely fine. Totally normal.”

Your mom’s grip on your shoulders loosened, but she didn’t look totally convinced. Actually, no one did. Who would believe the crap you just replied with?

“But honey, you said you were already late for the appointment before you left… And you forgot about it completely in five minutes?” It was your dad’s turn to speak. And boy, did he nail you down.

I’d fucked up. Yep, it’s official. Fret not, I’ll think of something.

“Okay! Fine! I’ll tell you everything.” Tell them exactly what? What are you doing, brain?

“Zayne was gonna do a full-body checkup or something, and I heard they sedate you for some time. So, I freaked out about the needle part.” Before anyone could ask further questions, you continued. “And me being weird, those were just jokes. I wanted to lighten up the mood before I told you I’m scared of needles.” Alright, do your magic now. Please work, please work. You looked over at your family members, observing their changing expressions.

“You had us scared, (reader)!” Your mom heaved the biggest sigh of relief and chuckled nervously. Meanwhile, your dad closed his eyes and put his hand over his chest. “Never, ever do that again, sweetheart. I think I might need to go to the doctor too now.”

“So why’d you say you were at the park?” Your sister folded her arms and looked at you suspiciously.

“Oh, I actually did go. To think, you know. Hahah.” She didn’t look convinced. She didn’t need to anyway. You walked past her and took a sip of the orange juice you’d left earlier.

“Anyway, since I’m already late, I’ll just go tomorrow.”

“No, no. You still have time. You can make it if you rush over now.” Your mom was practically pushing you out of the house now. “Don’t pull any tricks now. We’ll call Dr. Zayne to make sure you actually went.”

“Okay, fine. Jeez! Talk about trust issues.” Bang!

So, the hospital now.

It was crazy. There was no other explanation. Your parents were locked in on the fact that Zayne was real, he was your doctor, and you had an appointment with him. You still couldn’t grasp the fact that they knew who Zayne was. Did they know you played the game? Did they… play the game too? Nothing made sense. Not even the fact that you were mindlessly walking to a hospital (God knows which) to see a doctor who didn’t exist.

RING! RING!

You rummaged through your bag to get your phone. So, this little shit works, huh?

It was an unknown number. “Hello?”

“I’m supposed to make sure you actually get here. Am I gonna have to be your babysitter now?” It was a male voice. Calm, collected, serene. And beautiful. Maybe even familiar.

“What the hell? Who is this?” Weirdo.

“Forgot me already? You really need to get here so I can check up on you.”

Your heart skipped a beat. Actually, it skipped several beats. Was this who you thought it was? Were you dreaming? Your mind bombarded you with questions upon questions.

Zayne. It was Zayne.

Your phone dropped to the pavement. There was no mistaking it. It sounded just like him. It had to be him, but how? You were definitely dreaming. Your hands were shaking. This was really happening. Holy shit. But you needed to see him to be sure. With your own eyes. What if the whole city had conveniently decided to pull a prank on you?

You picked up your phone.

“Umm… I’m on my way. Where are you?”

“Sigh. Where do you think a doctor is, (reader)?” Yeah. What a stupid question. Where exactly is a fictional doctor?

“Silly me! I’m almost there.” You hung up immediately. How would I know where Zayne is?

No. Wait. I can handle this.

You called a cab. “Where to, miss?” I don’t know.

To Zayne? No, not very smart. Where does Zayne work? Akso Hospital. Yep, that’s it.

“To… umm… Akso Hospital….” You smiled nervously. How would a taxi driver feel if he was asked to go to Hogwarts?

“Akso Hospital? Never heard of that.” Your stomach dropped. I knew it! The whole city was pulling a prank on me.

“Kidding. Hop right in, miss.”

That son of a—could’ve killed him right there.

During the ride, all you could think of was what could be waiting for you at the hospital. You were nervous and scared, no doubt. It was just impossible to wrap your head round the fact that you were going to "Akso Hospital" to see Zayne. Anyone would think you're out of your mind. Well, maybe not anymore.

Fifteen minutes later, you were at your destination.

Okay, let’s do this!

You walked in, beaming with confidence. You’d know once you saw the inside.

Holy shit. You couldn’t form any words, nor could you comprehend your surroundings. How was this possible? What the hell was going on? You were just gonna ignore how the hospital was conveniently called Akso Hospital. But, holy shit. It was just like you'd seen in the game. Dark grey walls, ashy black floor. And of course, the evergreen hospital smell. Still, however, it looked very futuristic. You'd never seen a hospital quite like this one. Well, sure it was from a game. But it was indeed very different from normal hospitals.

You looked over to the reception desk. Once again, your heart skipped several beats. “Yvonne!” You practically ran up to her. There she was. An exact replica of Nurse Yvonne from the game. You couldn’t believe your eyes.

"I don't get it. How?" You almost whispered.

“Finally! That lady over there was fighting to go inside if you didn’t show up for another five minutes.”

You didn’t care about any lady. Right now, you were just bewildered. Dumbfounded. Discombobulated. You wanted to stay there just another moment. To take everything in. After all, it was all very overwhelming.

“What’re you looking at? Go on!”

“Yes, yes! I know the way, I’m going.” “Yeah, you should, ’cause you’ve been here before.”

You heard Yvonne’s voice trail off as you made your way through the halls toward the Cardiac Division. You were gonna get the shock of your life. You treaded slowly through the hospital, looking at every nook and cranny. You didn't wanna miss anything out. It was just so surreal.

Okay, I'm here.

Dr. Li. Cardiac Surgeon. (a/n: Li is Zayne's surname. it's the name outside his office in the game.)

You took a deep breath, standing outside the office. Okay, brace yourself. Inhale, exhale.

You were practically shaking. What was waiting for you on the other side? Were you ready to find out? Slowly, you put your hand on the door handle, pushed it downward, and opened the door.

The room was cold. You were met with the cool air as soon as the door slowly creaked open. Every glimpse of the room was killing you. It was just like the game! The wall paint, cabinets, charts, chairs, table, and the doctor.

Your heart stopped.

tags: @liz9898, @lemonn015

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brokenmenswhore · 8 days ago

Text

a proposition: revenge | poly!marauders

pairing: poly!marauders x fem!reader (james, remus, and sirius, featuring alecto, dorcas, evan, lily, marlene, and mary)

warnings: smut (MDNI 18+), hate sex (consensual), smoking

a/n: thank you to @peppers-hideout for the request with the base idea for a date to the forest!

if you requested to be on the taglist but don’t see yourself on the it:

1. the taglist is at max capacity for the chapter post, so now there will be another immediate post after the chapter goes live with the rest of the taglist and a link to the chapter

2. make sure your settings accommodate being tagged! a ton of people who asked, i couldn’t properly tag. i removed all of the inactive tags from this post but will keep them up on the extra taglist posts

a proposition: masterlist

────── ☾ ──────

“You’re so fucking sweet,” Evan breathed, “I could fucking taste you all day.”

Your face pressed further into the pillow, your arms giving out as Evan held your ass upward so that he could continue tasting you. His arms wrapped around your thighs to prevent you from falling.

“Shit,” you whined, and began to slowly wiggle your ass to move your core more against Evan’s tongue.

The sight only added to Evan’s arousal, and he let out a low groan before harshly slapping your ass, causing your body to jolt forward.

You reached back to try to grab Evan’s hand, and he intertwined his fingers with your own, allowing you to squeeze his hand as you came with a high string of moans.

Evan didn’t let up until your high was over. He cleaned up any juices that spilled out of you, giving your ass one small slap as he rose up behind you, kneeling on the bed and leaning over to kiss your shoulder. “You got another one in you?”

You chuckled. “I don’t think that’s how that works.”

Evan cocked his head to the side. “What, you don’t think you can come twice in a row?” he taunted, slowly tracing his finger along your folds, careful not to overstimulate you, “has no one in our little group let you have any real fun?”

You shuddered as Evan gently rubbed circles over your clit, but you quickly felt yourself being worked up again. You whined and whimpered into the pillow, and Evan peppered kisses on your shoulders and back in order to stay closer to your mouth and hear your noises better.

“Fuck, fuck, Evan, I can’t-“

The moment that your second high hit you, you threw your head back and moaned loud, and the dormitory door swung open.

You didn’t hear the door when your body dropped to her side, desperately trying to catch your breathing as your core pulsed. You smoothed down your skirt to cover yourself and wiped sweat-slicked hair from your face, turning to see James and Sirius, glistening in sweat and fresh from Quidditch practice.

“Don’t let us interrupt,” James smiled wide.

“Think two for the first time is enough for today, what’d’ya say, hun?” Evan said, leaning over you and pressing a kiss to your temple. You refused to stop laying down, your high still calming down.

“Aweh, poor baby, he made you come twice in a row? Is that why you’re so tired?” James teased, smiling at you as you stuck out your tongue to him.

“You look pretty put together,” James turned to Evan.

“Only needed my mouth,” Evan boasted, and James nodded to acknowledge that he was impressed.

You turned to Sirius, who was being even quieter than usual, but he was already staring straight at you. Even as he undid his tie and slumped down in a chair, his eyes remained fixed on you.

“Something to say, Black?” you finally spoke.

Sirius smirked. “Just enjoying the view.”

“You need help getting up?” James asked, extending a hand toward you.

You took it, allowing his ridiculous strength to hoist you up to a stand. Your legs nearly buckled, but James wrapped his arms around your waist to keep you up.

“Hi, gorgeous,” he smiled.

You wrapped your arms around his neck. “Don’t think I can stand yet,” you said.

“Alright then,” James said, bending down and sweeping your legs into his arms. He threw you over his shoulder as if it was nothing.

“James!” you squealed, and he let your body fall only enough to wrap your legs around his waist and rest your head on his shoulder.

“If you can’t walk, then don’t walk, princess,” he said, “I gotcha.”

Sirius coughed to catch everyone’s attention. “Aren’t we supposed to shower and go, James?”

“Go where?” you nearly mumbled.

“Oh, did no one tell you? We’re all headed to the lake in a bit,” James said, “you wanna come?”

“Mhm,” you said, “I was gonna go to the forest, but I don’t have to.”

“The forest?” Sirius repeated.

“I like going there,” you said, your eyes closing, “helps me clear my head, and sometimes study in peace.”

“Isn’t that dangerous, angel?” James said, tilting his head to you so that your faces were mere centimeters apart.

“A little,” you said, but you were too tired to explain yourself as you clung onto James, “am I heavy?”

James smiled, “not at all. I could do this all day.”

You knew that whether you were small, midsize, or big, James could hold you for hours without dropping you.

“I’ll let Lily know you guys are gonna be late, as always,” Evan said, getting ready to leave the room.

“Tell her we’ll meet her in the Forbidden Forest instead of the lake,” Sirius said.

“But-“

“Wasn’t a question,” Sirius said casually.

Evan shrugged Sirius’s attitude off and left the room, leaving you clinging to James while Sirius lounged in his chair.

“We’re gonna be extra late,” James mouthed to Sirius.

“You could just put her down,” Sirius snapped.

You furrowed your brows and lifted your head, sticking out your bottom lip in a pout. “Rude.”

“Don’t pout at me, now I feel bad,” Sirius said.

James looked confused. “Since when do you feel bad about anything?”

Sirius sighed and ignored the question. “You gonna shower or what?”

James looked to you, then back to Sirius, and smirked. “Yeah, yeah we’re gonna shower.”

James winked at Sirius and carried you into the lavatory, setting your ass down on the sink and trying to unwrap your arms from his neck.

“Uh huh,” you said, now calm and awake but acting bratty just because you could, “where are you going?”

“I gotta shower, Y/N, you know that,” he laughed in amusement.

“I should shower,” you said casually.

James tilted his head and caught your eyes with his own. “Oh yeah?”

“Mhm.”

“You tryna tell me something?”

“Maybe.”

“Better be a big girl and say it out loud then.”

The way he said it, what he said, had your head rolling. “I wanna shower with you.”

You were shocked that the words came out, but you were not the same shy, insecure little girl who blushed just because Sirius Black was sitting facing her direction. You still did that, to be clear, but your newfound confidence was not something you were willing to let go of.

James smiled and unclothed himself. “Up,” he said, watching you lift your hips as he pulled your skirt clean off of your body.

He made a low, guttural sound at the realization that not only did you not have any underwear on, but that your core was still puffy from your two orgasms mere minutes ago.

As James pulled your shirt over your head and i clipped your bra, Sirius strutted into the bathroom.

“Well hello,” he said to you.

You couldn’t help but giggle. “You’ve never seen me naked.”

Sure, Sirius had seen you fuck Remus, but you had a skirt on. He had never actually seen you fully naked.

“Now I have,” Sirius smirked, his eyes scanning over your entire body. He didn’t move closer to you, but just stared, as James lifted you under your thighs and carried you into the shower.

“Plug your ears, Pads.”

────── ☾ ──────

“How did you find this clearing?”

You all sat in a giant circle on the ground, you, Mary, and Remus laying down to gaze up at the clearing through the trees that let you see the sky perfectly.

You didn’t respond, but just continued to take deep breaths and enjoy the scenery.

Remus coughed beside you, sitting up. “Fuck, Rosier, what did you lace this strain with?”

“Nothing! Fuck,” Evan defended, already too high to take anything seriously.

Remus passed the blunt to you, and you sat up, staring at the drug.

“You don’t have to,” Remus said.

“I don’t know how,” you admitted.

“Here,” Remus said, shifting so that he was kneeling directly in front of you, “you suck in gently, hold, and then blow. See?”

He took another hit and passed you the blunt.

You eyed him as you put the blunt between your lips and inhaled deeply, the smoke burning your throat, causing you to immediately cough.

“Or do that,” Remus laughed.

You tried again, pushing through the burning as you held the smoke for a few seconds before blowing out a thick cloud.

Remus took the blunt from between your fingers. “Open your mouth,” he said.

You did as you were told, and Remus took a quick hit, leaning in as he exhaled the smoke into your mouth and kissed you.

“Hot,” Mary said, raising her liquor bottle and slurring her words.

“Lightweight,” Remus joked, “you’ve had like one hit and one drink.”

“Fuck off, Lupin, at least I’m not a dog.”

“Yeah, about that,” you started, the haziness filling your head, “are you a cute wolf? Like can I pet you?”

What the fuck did I just say?

“I’m pretty ravenous,” Remus responded, “I don’t think trying to pet me is such a good idea.”

“He’s a fucking beast,” Marlene chimed in, “especially the night before he turns.”

It was the first time she’d spoken directly to you since your voyeuristic escapades on the rug.

“Mhm,” Mary said, taking another large sip from the bottle, “one time, it was so rough, I couldn’t walk for two days. Had to make Dorcas take notes in class for me.”

Dorcas blew out a cloud of smoke before saying, “if that ain’t the truth.”

“I am not that bad,” Remus pouted.

“We aren’t complaining,” Mary said, the words so slurred they were almost impossible to distinguish.

“Better not be. I don’t remember hearing complaints from Sirius last month, either.”

Your eyes widened as you turned your head to Sirius. “Never took you for a bottom.”

Sirius, seated across from you, smirked. “I’m whatever you want me to be.”

Marlene choked on smoke.

“Fucking hell, this is definitely laced.”

“It’s not fucking laced! Hop off my dick,” Evan pouted.

“It’s strong! That’s all I’m saying!” Marlene fought.

“You’re all just a bunch of lightweights.”

James scoffed in offense. “Sorry that we aren’t blazing up twice a day every day, Rosier.”

Evan threw his hands up. “I’m just more fun than you.”

“Clearly the group has decided that I’m the most fun,” Remus said, grabbing the bottle that was being passed around.

“Nuh uh,” Evan complained, “I made Y/N come twice this morning with just my tongue."

“Oh big fucking whoop, I’ve done that to Lily like six times,” James said, “you’re not special.”

“Sirius has done it to me at least twice,” Marlene added.

“See?” James said.

“I’m special,” Evan said in a quiet voice, pouting.

“Okay, let’s just settle this. Girls, who gives the best head?”

You, Dorcas, and Alecto all, at the same time, said a mash of “we are not answering that!” and “absolutely not!” and “why would you ask that?”

Also during your cacophonous refusals, Marlene said “Sirius” and Mary said “James.”

Evan whipped his head to James. “I hate you.”

“Jealousy looks bad at you, Ev.”

“Everything looks bad on you, Potter.”

James grinned widely and laughed. “You wish it was that easy to insult me.”

Evan coughed out smoke.

“Stop taking hits, you idiot,” Sirius laughed.

“I’m already high, what’s it matter, eh?” Evan said.

“You guys are idiots,” Lily said.

“You finally open your mouth and you use it to insult us?” Sirius asked.

“Oh, I can do a lot more with my mouth,” Lily winked.

“Why can no one ever keep it in their pants around here? Fuck,” Mary said, laying down and nearly falling asleep for all of the inebriation she felt.

“Says the horniest of us all,” Alecto added.

Mary pulled some grass from the ground and threw it in Alecto’s direction.

The blunt made its way to you again, and you tentatively took another hit, but held it even longer this time.

“Bloody hell, you held that for a while,” Remus said.

“It burns like hell,” you admitted.

“That’s cus you held it for a while.”

“I didn’t hold it for that long.”

“You definitely did.”

“Is that bad?”

“You’ve really never smoked before?”

You blinked rapidly at Remus. “Merlin’s beard, I’m gonna die.”

“You’re not gonna die,” James laughed, seeing the pure, genuine panic on your face.

“What if I, like, scalded my throat?”

“Definitely not a thing that happened,” Sirius laughed, completely unable to contain it.

As the high hit you, you laughed along with Sirius. There was nothing funny happening, but you couldn’t stop. Every time you tried, you laughed even harder, to the point that tears spilled from your eyes.

Sirius just watched you, laughing softly with the widest smile you’d seen from him yet.

“You gave her too much, Rem,” Dorcas said.

“Oh fuck you, how is this my fault?”

“Dude, you gave her the blunt,” Dorcas said.

Remus shrugged. “She doesn’t seem to mind it.” He couldn’t help but smile as he watched you struggle to catch your breath from the laughter.

“Fuck you guys, no one brought pumpkin juice?” Marlene asked.

“Now who was gonna carry a bunch of pumpkin juice into the Forbidden Forest?” Lily said, her red hair falling over her shoulder as she turned her head.

"Couldn't be much heavier than the actual alcohol," Marlene sighed.

Lily took a deep breath. "Then maybe for once you could have done the heavy lifting and brought it yourself."

Marlene fake-laughed at Lily and took another large sip of alcohol. She swallowed it in one gulp, running fingers through her hair as she said, "we should play truth or dare."

"No no no," Dorcas stopped her, the tension between the two of them still palpable, "remember what happened last time?"

"Ha ha, I do!" Mary laughed, "that was a fun fight to watch."

"Fight?" you questioned, looking to Mary.

"James picked truth and had to admit that he had a crush on Regulus, so Sirius got mad, and the resulting fight was so funny."

"Regulus? Your little brother?" you turned to Sirius.

He took a deep breath before taking a sip from his bottle. "Mhm."

"Listen, in my defense-" James started.

"Don't," Sirius stopped him, his voice deadly serious.

Remus leaned into your ear and whispered, "Sirius gets really weird talking about his family. Just try not to bring it up."

"Thanks," you whispered to Remus. You had questions, but they could wait. Even high, you could hold your tongue.

"So truth or dare or what?" Marlene pushed.

"Truth or dare, Marlene," Alecto smiled.

"Dare," Marlene responded, leaning back onto her palms.

"I dare you to make out with Y/N."

"Oh so we're just going for it, aye?" Remus said.

You looked at Marlene, and she was staring directly at you. You may have hated each other, but she was not one to back down from a dare. You didn't have to know her long to know that.

Marlene leaned forward and crawled on all fours toward you, stopping a few inches away from you and kneeling back. She stared at you for a moment before leaning in. You couldn't move, you were so in shock that she didn't fight Alecto's dare. If you were being honest with yourself, Marlene was hot. Yeah, she was a bitch, but that arguably made her hotter. You knew you could pull away. Maybe you didn't want to.

Marlene barely touched her lips to yours, your eyes closing momentarily as she pulled away.

You looked at her for only a few seconds before pressing your lips against hers again. She immediately reciprocated, her hands tangling through your hair. You both leaned forward as the kiss heated up.

"Okay! Enough!" Alecto shouted.

Marlene pulled away from you and you both shared a moment of silence, staring at each other in disbelief that you just did that, and that you liked it.

"Your turn to ask, Marlene," Evan said, smiling in amusement at her flustered expression.

Marlene shifted back to her spot without another word. "Truth or dare, Remus?"

"Truth," Remus said.

"Boring," Sirius commented.

Remus shot him a glare before turning back to Marlene, who said "did you really get suspended while I was away?"

Remus took a hit from the blunt, which was almost completely burned away, and blew out the smoke, saying "forgot to take a tonic for pain before the full moon and was knocked out for 3 days. I just told everyone it was s suspension because it was easier. You think I would ever risk that? I'm a straight A good boy."

"Yeah, okay," Dorcas said.

"I'm a very good boy, thank you very much," Remus smiled, "Y/N, truth or dare?"

"Uh, I don't know, truth?"

"Who's been the best shag so far?" Remus asked.

"Oh, come on," you sighed.

You thought for a moment as Remus looked at you expectantly.

"Well obviously I'm gonna say you," you told him.

He smiled widely, and James threw his hands up in the air.

"What? I've had the most sex with him!" you defended.

"That wasn't the question," Sirius chimed in.

You sighed. "The answer is still Remus. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm just... comfortable with him."

"And not with me?" James said, almost hurt.

"No, no, I'm comfortable with you, I am! Remus has my virginity, and so there's just a connection there. That's all."

Marlene scoffed. "Shocked you didn't say Sirius."

"Why's that?" you challenged.

"Just seems like you're close," Marlene said casually, as if the conversation meant nothing to her.

"Sirius and I haven't had sex yet," you stated matter-of-factly.

Sirius let out a breath and laid back in the grass, staring up at the sky as he tried to ignore the conversation.

"Oh?" Marlene said, clearly amused, "is that right?"

"What does it matter to you?" you questioned.

"It doesn't."

"It clearly does."

"Nope."

The tension was palpable, but the conversation died there.

"Lily, truth or dare?" you asked.

"Truth."

"Is there a reason why Barty Crouch isn't a part of this? I mean, he keeps throwing himself at you."

Lily laughed. "Barty is gay, for starters," she said, "he just does that because he's trying to throw others off his case. And he's not involved because he's been with Regulus."

"Oh," you said.

"Alright," Sirius said, shooting up to a stand, "I think that's enough socializing for me."

"Yeah, it's getting late, we should go," Dorcas agreed.

"I'm not standin'," Mary slurred.

James scooped Mary into his arms, and she threw her hands around his neck. "Hehe, hi," she giggled.

James kissed her forehead as the rest of the group collected all of their things and began to exit the forest.

────── ☾ ──────

"So."

You turned around to see Marlene at the door to your dormitory.

"How did you get in here?" you asked.

"Hufflepuff boys are so touch starved, it's embarrassing," she responded.

"What do you want, Marlene?" you asked, standing tall and facing her.

Marlene didn't respond, but rather rushed over to you and pressed her lips against yours.

The kiss caught you by surprise, but you invited it, reciprocating as her hands found their way to your hair again.

Marlene began to take steps forward until your knees hit the mattress, causing you to fall backward. Marlene leaned over you without breaking the kiss, and pushed your skirt up to your waist.

"Wait, wait," you said.

Marlene pulled away and studied your face. "What?"

"What the fuck is going on? I mean, you hate me."

"Okay, and?"

"You hate me, but you wanna fuck me?"

Marlene rolled her eyes. "Obviously."

You just stared at her in disbelief and arousal.

"Do you want to fuck me?" she asked.

"Yeah," you said breathlessly.

"So what's the fucking problem?"

You didn't even try to think of an answer as you leaned up and caught her lips again. She moaned lightly into the kiss, and you felt arousal pooling in your underwear.

Marlene shoved your underwear to the side as she kissed your jaw, your neck, and down your front, eventually making her way down to your core.

You moaned loudly as her tongue began to flick your clit before she began to suck you. Your back arched off of the bed, and Marlene moved a hand to squeeze your breast.

As she tasted you, she skillfully unbuttoned your blouse and pulled your bra cup to the side, exposing your nipple to the cool air. She circled your nipple with a finger before running back and forth over it gently.

You shuddered. "Fuck."

Marlene's other hand stayed low, one finger slowly sliding into you.

The stimulation on your breasts was unfamiliar, but highly arousing. Leave it to a woman to know the right way around a woman's body.

Marlene pulled away from between your legs entirely and leaned over you again. You stared at one another as she undressed completely. You followed suit, and when you were both fully naked, Marlene hiked one of your legs up, and pushed the other one to the side.

She put one leg next to your arm, and hooked the other one beneath the leg you had up on the bed.

Your breathing quickened more and more as Marlene pressed her sex against yours.

You let out a long sigh as you threw your head back against the mattress. Marlene grabbed your bent leg and began to rock back and forth slowly. The friction of clit against clit was incredible, and your arousals allowed for lubrication.

Hate sex with Marlene was all intensity. There was no room for gentle, loving touches. It was all hot and fiery and hot.

Marlene threw her head back, and her hair swaying behind her back as she let out perfectly synchronized moans.

You found yourself getting more and more aroused as you watched her. She bucked her hips against yours, and she glowed with sweat in the sunlight streaming in from the window. Her moans were small and soft, but that seemed to only add to the hotness of the moment. She was so fucking pretty. And her clit felt so fucking good against yours.

She started to give her hips faster and faster, the fat of her ass jiggling slightly with the movements. She pulled your leg closer to her, causing her core to experience even more friction. She threw her head back, and you began to buck your hips slightly in tandem with her, intensifying the sex.

You couldn't help it: you reached up and began to fondle Marlene's breasts. She seemed to enjoy it, so you bent up and wrapped your lips around one of her nipples.

She held the back of your head in place as her hips moved even faster, adjusting her position slightly to account for your new rated position.

"Fuck, just like that," she whined, "you're gonna make me come."

You moved to her other breast, sucking gently as she whimpered.

"Fuck, I fucking hate you," she breathed.

"That makes two of us," you said.

Marlene's high hit quickly, her arousal spilling onto your sex. Once she stopped her hips, she realized you hadn't come, and she immediately dove two fingers into you and thrust them in and out as quickly as she could.

You nearly screamed at the intensity, but your high hit you in no time.

Marlene crashed down next to you as you both came down from your respective highs.

After a few minutes of silence and staring at the ceiling, Marlene stood, and began to put her clothes back on. You watched her every move.

"Guess you can fuck," she smiled.

"I tried to tell you so."

Marlene smiled and left the dormitory.

────── ☾ ──────

"Oh Sirius!" Marlene called down the crowded corridor in sing-song.

"What?" Sirius said, stopping in his tracks as he turned to face Marlene. When he saw her, his eyes widened slightly. "You look rightfully fucked."

Her hair was slightly messed up, her skin still flush. "That's just because I came from being rightfully fucked," she said.

"Good for you, Marlene," Sirius said, disinterested.

"It really was," she said, "and the Hufflepuff dorms are real pretty."

Sirius lifted his head a bit. He knew the game she was playing, and he didn't want to take the bait. Unfortunately, Marlene could read Sirius like a book. She could see it all over his face.

She needed a way to get to him, and when she learned that you and Sirius hadn't yet fucked, she knew just how to do so.

She'd won.

Sirius knew it. So he just watched Marlene strut away.

────── ☾ ──────

taglist: @riddlemenottsluttyslytherin @hcqwxrtss123 @prongs-wolfstar-marauders @flowersarcute @remussbitch @alwaysanundertone @urfavhanna @donovorita28 @randomcreator-09 @joey-hoey @chronically-sh-ana @pinksmellslikelove @blvebanisters @aaronhotchswife @roseblack1864 @chaevvonders @champomiel @the-flaminhos @ilovesugurugeto69 @sammyreid @treefairy-28 @aza-writes @made-for-oliverwood @kaileygirl444 @livslifeonline @hi172826 @greyeyedmockingbird @prettylittlewrites @st0rmzi3 @butterchicken06 @yarri0 @camslut7 @ilovewhiteboysforlife @moonyxstars @charlxzagzy @maxinehufflepuffprincess @maverickgalathynius @bmyva1entine @hizzielover @hoe-for-sukuna @panhoeofmanyfandoms @psychobitchsthings @lily-mylove @squirreljoe @5implyd1vine @prongsvids @starrystormwritings @sunshineangel-reads @your-good-girlll

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evamame · 2 months ago

Text

12:08 am | osamu miya

osamu always takes care of you after you come home drunk from a long night of partying

cw: sfw, fluff, alcohol/mentions of being drunk, fem!reader x osamu miya, established relationship, pet names

wc: 853

masterlist

coming home drunk after a long and eventful night out with your girlfriends to osamu miya, who already has your bed ready with a glass of water on your nightstand. as he hears you fiddling with your keys outside the front door, he hops up from the sofa where he was watching tv and waiting for you to finally arrive home. you stumble through the door in your drowsy state and he quickly leans down to assist you in taking off your heels so you don’t trip over your own feet.

“welcome back hon’,” he greets you softly. he places his hand on the small of your back and guides you to the bathroom, where he already has a fresh pair of your favorite pajamas ready and laid out on the counter. he lifts you up and sits you down on the edge of the smooth granite top, getting micellar water and a cotton pad to take your makeup off. what was once a beautifully put together look now dawns your face with runny mascara and caking foundation, but he still finds you stunning nonetheless.

“did ya have fun?” he questions as he begins gently removing all of the gunk off your face.

you close your eyes and let him work his magic. by now, he’s remembered your skincare routine, and always makes sure to lay out your bottles before you return home so he can get you ready for bed as quickly as possible. maybe it’s just extra relaxing in your drunken state, but it feels like he does it better than you. “yeah, i had lots of fun! we danced a ton, and i got tons of compliments on my outfit from my friends!” you respond happily, but your voice lacks articulation and has an underlying hint of grogginess from your exhaustion, making it a bit hard for him to understand your words.

he smiles amusedly, a barely audible chuckle escaping his lips. “that’s good, ya do look gorgeous.”

he finishes wiping off your makeup with the micellar water, placing the bottle on the counter and discarding the cotton pad in the trash. he moves on to washing your face thoroughly with face wash before moisturizing your skin.

“i can take care of myself. you must be tired having to stay up for me,” you comment.

he shakes his head, voice soft but firm, “i wanted to make sure ya got home safely. plus, yer clearly too worn out to properly take off yer makeup. i doubt ya would’ve done it yourself. and ya should never go to bed with it on, ya know?”

“i know, i know.”

he gives you a nod, satisfied with your answer. he lifts you up and back onto the ground, “turn around for me hon’.”

you comply, and he slowly unzips your dress, letting it fall to the floor. you step out of it, and he helps you put on your pajamas.

“feelin’ better now? a lil’ more refreshed at least, i hope.”

“yeah, i feel much better.” his lips tug into a small smile at your words. he grabs the brush on the counter, holding it up, “come sit. i’ll brush yer hair.”

osamu guides you to the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed and patting the space in between his legs. you sit on his lap, staring tiredly at the wall ahead as he begins to soothingly run the brush through your hair. the way he ever so gently runs the bristles through your locks is calming. even simples acts of domesticity like these show how much affection and love he has for you, and the way he takes care of you on any and every day conveys more than any words can.

“all done,” he murmurs quietly as he finishes, placing the brush down on the sheets beside him. he runs his fingers gently through your brushed hair for a minute, a comfortable silence falling through the room.

you let out a tired yawn, and then he’s reminded of the task at hand, “let’s get ya to bed now. ya need all the rest you can get.” and with that, he pats your back to tell you to stand up, guiding you to your side of the bed. he helps you to crawl under the covers, tucking you in and making sure you’re comfortable. he tenderly hands you the glass of water he had prepared, making sure you’re holding it steadily before letting go. “take these. and drink all the water. it’ll help ya with yer hangover in the morning,” he instructs, picking up two painkillers and handing them to you.

you pop them in your mouth, downing the glass of water with them. he takes the empty glass from you and sets it back down on the table. then, he smooths out the blanket and presses a quick kiss to your forehead, his voice a low whisper, “goodnight sweetheart. sleep well, m’kay?”

you nod incoherently, clearly drained. he walks around to the other side of the bed and joins you under the sheets as you drift off to sleep.

a/n: i just know he makes you a full course meal for breakfast when you wake up with a pounding headache.

taglist | tags: @scoupsworld @mires765

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lascvitae · 2 months ago

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❦ — the beginning of an era

synopsis. after landing a main role in an upcoming kdrama, y/n moves away from home to fulfill her dreams. upon arrival, it seems that her co-star has taken a newfound interest in her.

pairing. actress!minjeong x actress fem!reader genre. fluff(?) warning(s). none.

word count: 1.3k

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝ katty ᥫ᭡: okay so i wanna make this a mini series and i have a few ideas in mind but if you guys have any scenarios or ideas then please don’t hesitate to send an ask!!

series masterlist.

it was around twelve pm once y/n finally landed in the heart of south korea, miles away from home for one of the first times ever.

almost a month earlier she received a call that changed her life. she had been casted the main role of an upcoming kdrama and while she had to move to a serviced apartment in the city, it was everything that the girl dreamed of doing since the age of five.

ever since that point she had starred in musicals, as background extras, side characters and even the younger version of main characters. yet with all of that experience, it felt like something was missing. something that she had just found.

the countless billboards gave her a glimpse of the bright future ahead— there were tons of famous celebrities, some who she couldn’t even name. but there were definitely a few that stood out the most.

there was jun jihyun, who owned numerous awards for her talent and not too far away was song hyekyo. everyone that y/n laid her eyes upon had a high level of fame and it filled her heart with hope for what was to come.

today was the day she would meet her co-stars and the place that she would be calling ‘home’ for the next few months.

leaning against her luggage as she patiently waited for the vehicle to arrive, a few buses passed by to pick up the other pedestrians. only one bus caught her attention.

plastered onto the side of the bus was one of the most well-known actresses in the industry — kim minjeong. y/n studied the advertisement for a lip balm with an intrigued smile. she could already see her own face on the side of a limousine bus.

minjeong wasn’t only known for her amazing performance on camera but also due to her kind-hearted nature. there probably wasn’t a single/ bad video of that girl on the internet. even if you hated some of her characters, it was impossible to hate her. though, most co-stars would mention that she is ‘slow to warm up’ and can even come off as rude or bratty at times.

a black suburban parked in front of y/n, snapping her out of her out of the mini-daydream, reminding her that it was now her turn to leave her mark on the world.

while y/n strolled her luggage towards the trunk, a man dressed in a black suit and tie cane around to grab everything for her. “let me grab this for you.” the man extended a hand, carefully taking the luggage with ease and securing it into the back. “thank you.” y/n muttered.

once he assured that his precious cargo was settled, the vehicle began to move and y/n let out a breath she had no idea that she was even holding.

all of the buildings that seoul fostered allowed a crumb of homesickness to sink in, wiping the smile clean off of her face. she looked down at her phone, seeing the message from her mother and best friend, aurora.

rory 💓

‘i miss u already 🥺🥺 u better text me everyday!!’

Sent 9:37 AM

my queen bee ❤️‍🔥

‘Don’t overwork yourself, honey. i’m always one call away if you need me. -Mom’

Sent 6:17 AM

my queen bee ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

‘I’m here to support you in any way you need.’

Sent 6:17 AM

the messages resulted in a pout and y/n decided to put her phone away before a tear could form, forcing herself to look outside of the window.

to her surprise, the car came to a stop a while ago and she hadn’t even realized it. the driver was already working at her luggage, opening up the door for her.

“thank you.” she held her purse as she eagerly stepped out of the vehicle, mouth agape from the tall building that stood before her. while y/n had achievements of her own this felt like a new key to stardom, there were even intimidating bodyguards standing at the entrance. there were paparazzi surrounding the building but it didn’t seem like they could get in.

y/n felt a rush of relief at the security system implemented.

with a singular look they granted the two of them access and they were on the way to the elevator.

the interior of the lobby was gorgeous, decorated with long chandeliers and colors along with gold that were visually perceived as expensive. almost every single intricate detail caught y/n’s eye as they settled into the spacious elevator.

“is this your first big role?” the driver, or what he seemed more like, the assistant asked y/n. she smiled nervously. “could you tell?”

he shrugged, not wanting to offend the girl. “a little bit. don’t worry, you’ll love park seonho. he’s a great director.”

her eyes nearly popped out of her skull.

she had only met the casting director so this was news to her — park seonho was one of the directors that y/n had respected the most. it gave her so much motivation for the show that she had to hold back a squeal.

once the elevator ding indicated that they had made it to her floor, y/n followed the man to her new apartment.

“um, how do these work?” she sheepishly asked as the door swung open, her mouth following quickly behind.

the apartment was huge — and it wasn’t short of how luxurious the lobby was decorated. there were more seats in the living area than y/n could have imagined herself needing, she had just moved away from her hometown after all. the only person she knew was the mother of the baby that couldn’t keep quiet in the plane seat next to hers. all she could do was gasp as they walked further inside.

“i don’t have much information on that part. your neighbor arrived about an hour ago. she’s your co-star.” he set down all of y/n’s luggage before heading for the door.

“by the way, you can call me mr. kim. i’ll be your driver for the next six months, miss y/n.” the girl bowed as he introduced himself, and just as quickly as he arrived, he had departed.

the spacious apartment building left y/n speechless and so that she couldn’t procrastinate about it later, she began to unpack all of her bags. her mystery neighbor proved to be a powerful distraction, though.

to fulfill the never ending curiosity, y/n swiftly traversed to the door adjacent to her own. with three knocks, she put on the brightest smile managable.

after a few seconds passed the door finally swung ajar and y/n wasn’t sure of what she recognized first. the short blonde hair, the rosy pink lips or the shirt that revealed a sliver of the girl’s infamous abs.

“hello.” she greeted with a bow, instantly recognizing her co-star. at this moment y/n realized that she was staring, or even gawking at this point. but how could she not? it was none other than kim minjeong.

“h-hello.” she returned the bow, blinking to confirm the girl before her eyes.

curiosity piqued, minjeong’s lips curled into an interested smile. “i’m looking forward to working with you…” she trailed off, raising an eyebrow.

“y/n.”

“y/n. perfect. i’m min—“

“i know who you are, it’s okay! i’m — um, i’m looking forward to working with you too.” the smile on her face widened. “of course.”

y/n chewed at her lower lip. “so, uh, how do these work exactly?” minjeong seemed slightly confused before she understood the question and why you were asking it. “it’s like a hotel. housekeeping will stop by every wednesday and it should already be fully furnished. at least, i hope that was the case.”

y/n wasn’t sure if she was nervous or if she genuinely found her words funny but a light hearted chuckle escaped the lips she had been nibbling at. “it was. thank you, minjeong.”

“no need.” she offered another kind smile. “you know where to find me. you should settle down.” the door closed shortly after that and y/n could feel her heart trying to escape the restraints of her chest, hitting herself in the head a few times.

“why did i stutter like that?” the whispered sentence was only audible to her as she glanced at the end of the empty hallway before hiding inside of her apartment. y/n had just made her first friend in korea. kim minjeong. one of the most talented women in the country.

and they were neighbors.

the next six months were going to be a roller coaster.

perm taglist — @saysirhc @aedollie @prologue-ae

#sunset boulevard — kmj #aespa #aespa x fem reader #aespa x reader #aespa winter #aespa kim minjeong #kim minjeong x reader #kim minjeong #winter x reader #wlw #divider © to anitalenia

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burekforsatoru · 2 months ago

Text

just like old times

sebastian (stardew valley)/f!reader | read it on ao3 you come back to the place that holds your dearest memories to take over the farm once your grandpa died, now everything feels different. your friends feel different. five years away have done their damage, now's the time to fix it. wc: 12.5k tags: eventual smut, grief/mourning, a fuck ton of flashbacks, unprotected sex, semi-public sex, oral (f receiving), creampie, fluff, slight hurt/comfort, slight angst

you stand on the pelican town ground once again. it looks like the old times, but the feeling of dread reminds you that it isn't, and it will never be as exciting as before.

for one, the bus ride seems longer. the hills and plains interchange outside of the scratched and dirty windows as the vehicle’s stiff suspension makes sure you feel every bump in the road. second, there's no more of that excitement you felt as the bored bus driver announces pelican town when the bus lurches to a stop and the door opens with a squeak. no more carefree holidays at your grandparents’ farm, no more staying out until the sun comes up and sleeping until lunch time. now it's time to gather all that knowledge of farming collected over the years, of which there is none, and take matters into your own hands, making sure the family farm is well looked-after.

you step off of the bus with a heavy sigh and even heavier bags.

the air is cooler than usual, this might be the first time you’re witnessing pelican town spring, cherry blossom leaves filling the air with their soft pink color.

you look around, already emotional with the realization that there will be no help in the form of the old man shouting an over-excited welcome as he makes his way shuffling across the bus stop to embrace you tightly, smelling of earth and herbs. no, there will be no help from him. time has decided so.

swallowing your sadness, you pick up the heavy bags and start towards the farm.

“you’re back!” a breathless shout sounds from the direction of the town square and you see the usual sight. a tall figure with a blond mop of hair on his head, a shorter one with a tidy ginger bob, accompanied by two even smaller figures. the surprise at their company stops you wallowing in sadness, breaking you out of the already set frown on your face and instead making the corners of your lips curl up slightly.

“how did you–?” your gaze drops down to the kids following penny’s steps. the few years you haven’t been here didn’t seem that harsh, not until you notice their heights. “oh yoba’s tears, what are they feeding you two? hey guys!”

vincent sprints over and nearly knocks you over as he wraps his little arms around your waist, giving you his usual enthusiastic greeting. seeing the happiness in his action, you start feeling that growing sense of guilt for not visiting lately. jas walks over, staying closer to penny as they all approach. she shyly looks down at the ground before murmuring a hello, still as shy as ever before warming up to such a rare presence in her town.

“gotta say, it feels like summer now that you’re here, almost makes me forget about my a-a-aller–” sam sneezes, making you lean back in surprise. funny how a few years can make you forget such mundane things like how loud sam’s sneezes are. wiping his nose with a tissue, he rambles on about some shit or other, it’s difficult to understand him when he’s mumbling. penny smacks his arm, looking at you apologetically.

“i’m so sorry for your loss, truly.” her words make your smile drop again. you nod, taking a heavy breath as you thank her for the condolences.

“oh… yeah i’m so sorry. i didn’t wanna bring you down, but if you need anything…” sam awkwardly scratches the back of his head before noticing the heavy bags on the ground, the dye on handles already rubbed off from straining with the weight. “well, let me carry these at least.” he picks up the bags with a little less effort than you used, and starts walking towards the farm, vincent following after his brother with a happy bounce in his step.

penny offers a small smile as you both follow after the boys, jas trailing after penny with her smaller steps.

you arrive at the creaky gates, your heart nearly rips out of your chest once the familiar green roof peeks through the treetops. it’s worse than you expected, the steps to the porch seem like they’ve seen better days, the scarecrows are barely hanging on, threadbare and spilling hay from their bodies like gutted corpses. it’s a horrific sight, tugging on the fond memories you have of the place. of the colorful fields of fairy roses you played in when you were little, of the sunflowers you ran through with your friend until grandma chased you out of them with a stern tone but a gentle smile, making you seek a way to pass the time on the beach. the beach . you wonder if she still likes the sea and sunflowers.

shaking those memories from your mind and pushing the gate open, you follow sam’s path through the overgrown grass to the porch.

“robin already said she’d be here today to fix these steps and the door.” sam kicks a loose plank with the toe of his shoe, waiting for you to unlock the front door.

once the jingling of the keys stops, he takes your bags inside, leaving footprints through the thick dust settled on every surface inside. penny remains outside, keeping the kids from running in and touching what they shouldn’t, but sam walks into the old kitchen, testing out the tap and lights, making sure they’re functional before he can leave you to your devices.

once alone, you busy yourself with dusting the place, lifting the old shutters to let some natural light in. dust particles dance in the air around the bedroom, looking magical as they sparkle in the spring sun spilling through the open window. you sneeze once, twice, wiping your nose with a tissue before tying up your hair and deciding to save the weeping for later. there’s work to be done.

you manage to sweep the floors with an old broom and dust most of the surfaces when robin’s gentle face pokes through the front door, knocking on the old wood when she spots you sweating as you try to make the place look decent again.

“hey, cherry,” she calls you by that silly nickname that reminds you of your granny, smiling as she slowly steps inside with a toolbox in her veiny hand, “i’m just gonna fix your step, okay? sorry in advance about the noise…” voice dying as you approach her and sink into the comforting hug you took for granted so many times before.

she always gave them out so freely, showing her affections with a gentle pat on the head and a tray of freshly cut apples when you were over at sebastian’s for the day. it was a given, on the days when the summer heat made being outside impossible, that you would spend most of the time in his bedroom, lying on the floor under the ceiling fan or playing games on his computer. robin would always make sure you forgetful kids didn’t die of dehydration or hunger. she would call you up into her husband’s lab to watch him make sparks fly by mixing different liquids or laugh when he made something expand and overflow, leaving a horrible smell in the air.

you would then leave the house to sit at the edge of the lake while sebastian sneaked out a couple of cigarettes smuggled from abby’s dad’s secret stash. those first few tries were nearly the end of his rebellious attempts, but then demetrius had to comment on the smell of smoke on his clothes and how you would regret even lighting a single cigarette. that was the day when sebastian finally mastered the art of holding the smoke in his lungs and not coughing it out immediately, all he had needed was spite.

now, robin’s hug is a little tighter, like she’s trying to pull pieces of you back together and slot them into place with her hold. she lets go with a little huff and a sniffle, but you smile at her through the sadness, silently thanking her for not repeating those words everyone keeps saying. sorry for your loss, my condolences, he was a great man, what a shame… yeah, it’s true, but there are only so many thank yous and yeah he was amazing you have left in you. robin pats you on the head like she did when you were younger, turning on her heel to start on that stupid broken step.

wiping the corners of your eyes, you continue cleaning, checking every light bulb and power outlet before stepping out onto the porch again, just in time to see robin get up and wipe the sweat off her forehead.

“there we go, it should be good as new. even better than new, really.” she pats you on the shoulder before taking her stuff to leave. just as you’re about to go back inside to try unpacking, she calls out to you. “oh, cherry? i’m sure sebby would like to see you, too.”

with that, she walks off, wincing as the gate creaks and making a note of it to fix later.

alone again, you walk back inside, noticing from the corner of your eye that robin left her best hammer on the floor. cheeky woman, she knows what she’s doing. you consider for a moment if you should feign ignorance, leave the hammer there until she needs to get it back, but some part of you is buzzing with excitement at the idea of seeing sebastian again. it’s been years . the friendship is surely still there, he’s never been high-maintenance, never insisted you stay in touch after the summers, always content with hanging out for the summer and saying goodbye until the first day of the next one. he wouldn’t hold a grudge, not when that was how you functioned for more than a decade.

groaning, you bend down to grab the hammer and begin the well-known hike up into the mountains, watching the sky get warmer in tone. the muscles in your legs haven’t forgotten the path, taking over as your mind wanders to reminisce on the simpler times. starting tomorrow, you have to take matters into your own hands, clear the farm, and start planting crops – something you’ve done with grandpa countless times over the years, mouth full of questions you would list out, not letting a single moment go without a why or a how . all while your granny took care of the greenhouse, her pride and joy, walking out with a heavy basket full of ripe fruits on her hip every morning.

the cherry picking days were the best, for they meant that granny would set a big bowl of those dark red fruits next to an empty one, and the two of you would spend the afternoon removing pits from them, eating too many in the process and painting your lips, fingers, and clothes red. the sticky stains stayed until granny rubbed them off with a rough towel, making one of those mornings’ adventures result in a sweet new nickname - cherry.

hardly anyone uses your real name anymore, at least here in pelican town. it’s been cherry ever since. little cherry, like the blossoms floating through the air every spring.

seeing smoke coming out of robin’s chimney shakes the longing thoughts from your head. you check the watch, she would be closing at this time, that is if she didn’t change anything in the past five years.

a quick rap on the heavy wooden door and she is already on the other side, pulling the door open to let you in with a wide, innocent smile. unsure if she knew that you saw through her little stunt or not, you give in, walking inside to place her hammer on the counter while she apologizes profusely, her mind must’ve been all over the place to forget something so vital. with a quiet chuckle you dismiss her apologies. after all, you would’ve walked over to say hello to everyone anyway.

demetrius is murmuring as he paces the lab, writing something down on a clipboard while maru holds two seemingly identical rocks, listing off differences as she notices them. you lean on the door frame, knocking slowly on the white wood of the door to the lab. maru stops mid-sentence, nearly dropping the rocks she was holding.

“sweet sodium thiosulphate, is it monday already?” the curly girl rushes over to embrace you, squealing in excitement despite her father’s less than excited face. he doesn’t approve of her abandoning experiments and research for something as frivolous as greeting an old friend. regardless, he finishes writing down what maru said earlier and puts the clipboard down, taking off safety gloves and goggles. you smile over her shoulder, her curly hair tickles your nose as she sways left and right embracing you. “ohhhh it’s been so long, mom kept going on and on about you coming back. we were so excited!” she pulls away to look at you better.

demetrius walks over to shake your hand, as is tradition. “ah, cherry, good to have you back. terrible circumstances, certainly, we would all rather have you here of your own accord. naturally, there is no way one could stop the ruthless nature of life and d–”

“fucking hell, man, give her a moment.” like an arrow straight into your soul, that familiar bored tone breaks demetrius’ rambling. you turn your head to the side, meeting eyes with him. sebastian. with the same hair and the same crease between his eyebrows. the ring on his nostril is new, though. and so is the one on his eyebrow, his ear, yoba, he was busy since you last saw each other.

“hey.” a weak greeting leaves your lips, too busy playing spot the difference on him to even employ a single brain cell for rational thinking.

he seems to be a little taller than before, but his posture is still as bad as ever. there are traces of black on his fingernails, so he must have painted them again and picked the polish off in the meantime. you watch as he takes a pack of cigarettes from his hoodie pocket, his sleeve uncovers a little bit of his wrist, enough to see a black, now very faded, bracelet tied around it. your heart clenches at the memory, at the thought that he has kept that silly little accessory all this time. not even a bracelet, but a strap you ripped off your favorite top when it got ruined by one of maru’s experiments. it was the last time you spent your summer here, unburdened by the real life , and sebastian insisted you save at least a part of that beloved shirt. so you did the only logical thing, you ripped both straps, tied one around sebastian’s wrist and the other around yours. the one from your wrist ended up in the trash somewhere since it didn’t fit with the dress code of your stupid fancy job at joja corporate. now you regret it, seeing its pair right here in front of your eyes.

“you coming?” his murmured half-invitation sounds just like old times, bringing the last time you heard those words to mind.

you nod and wave good bye to the rest as sebastian walks out the front door, expecting you to trail behind him as always, leading you to the lake. it holds many secrets, the clear surface of the lake in the mountains with its ever clear water and rich life. it’s been witness to every late-night adventure all those summers, it holds the memories of happy times and the promises you made under the night sky. the promises you broke by not being here. sebastian stops and lights the cigarette that dangles from his lips, taking in a few drags before turning to you.

he says nothing, but it would be easier if he just shouted, you know he wants to, he has that look in his eyes. that i’m fucking pissed off but i don’t want to waste energy yelling look he so often had when he was a teenager and only just discovered rebellion against parental figures.

you say nothing, but it would be easier if you did, you really want to, your face certainly betrays the need to explain. to explain why you weren’t here, to ask if he’s mad at you, to reach out and make everything okay, make it better, make it easy like before. the silence between you is no longer light like it was years ago, it feels like a thread tugged completely taut and all it takes is one word to make it snap.

“so…” you start, trying to sort your thoughts out as you speak, trying to put all the concern and emotions into the tone of your voice. but sebastian has never been a very patient man.

“five years.”

he looks away again, still standing in that same spot that he picked for smoking all those years ago when he was still sneaking out of the house with you and abby to cough out every painful drag, making for a lot of laughs bouncing off the lake. yet another memory that the water holds.

“i know.” you sit down, take your shoes and socks off, and roll up your jeans. it’s been a while since you could rest your feet in the cold water and not feel the overwhelming hurt of missing pelican town. sebastian stands there for a few long moments before joining you, though not dipping his feet into the lake.

“five years without a word.” he’s bitter. sure, your grandpa had some news of your well-being, though not much more. that corporate job sucked out all joy from life, made taking vacations impossible, made you into a husk of who you once were, not the person who went skinny dipping with her friends almost every night in the summer right here in this lake. not the person who sneaked out of the farm house to smoke joint after joint with her best friends and make out with all of them, exploring the possibilities of human bodies. “and then you show up all smiley and try to pretend nothing’s changed.” sebastian spits the words, holding the cigarette in shaking fingers as he relights the end of it. “i didn’t think you’d show up even now that your grandpa–” “i get it.” you cut him off, stopping his angry tirade before it spirals into something else. “i get it, i wasn’t here. i feel guilty enough already, your negativity is… noted.” with a heavy breath you sigh and slide a little closer to the edge of the lake, getting the legs of your jeans damp, but it doesn’t matter. you deserve the shouting, you deserve the anger and frustration. but you’ve been putting yourself through it already, sebastian’s words only add to the burden already on your shoulders.

“why weren’t you?” he asks a question you pose to yourself every day. why didn’t i quit and come here? why didn’t i help grandpa after granny died? why didn’t i take a chance on a better life? you don’t know, it felt easier to follow some expected path. desk job, awful manager, boring dress code, decent pay, but declining motivation. in the end, you would’ve ended up completely dead inside, a shell of the girl you used to be, the girl who used to pack her bags as soon as school ended so she could be on the first bus to pelican town to spend her days helping out on the farm and the nights hand in hand with her favorite people in the world.

that girl would daydream every day about her friends, about the loud laughter and water splashing around her. purple hair swaying as abby ran to get the ball from the other end of the beach, alex throwing his gridball a little too close to pierre’s shop and running away together to avoid the punishment, haley’s annoyed voice when you messed up yet another carefully directed candid photo by laughing at just the wrong moment. emily draping you in silly fabrics to play dress-up when it was too hot to spend time outside, penny’s look of utter horror when you would crack the spine of your own book, running to maru’s secret lab to avoid her father’s chores when she couldn’t be bothered to do them. late-night bonfires with sam’s guitar as his mellow voice chased away the silence, sebastian’s eyes peeking over the top of his comic book as you sat across from each other on his bed and read together in peace.

now those eyes almost avoid yours, instead focusing on the tree in the middle of the lake. yet another piece of your summer lore, the memory of swinging from that tree to throw yourselves into the lake screaming and laughing. you wonder if sebastian thinks about those times as well, or if he’s so bitter that he can’t push past the abandonment.

“why wasn’t i here? i had a job , sebastian, i couldn’t just up and leave for the summer like i used to.” pushing the guilt away, you narrow your eyes, ready to put him in his place.

he doesn’t know what it feels like, being a slave to a big company, chained to your desk in an uncomfortable chair and a perpetually cold office. he’ll never be a part of that life, he said so himself, all those years ago as he decided to chase his own dreams, even if it meant struggling. you agreed with him then, promising to be an outcast with him, another promise this lake witnessed, now broken.

the comment stings, practically throwing your old agreement in his face, but you can’t care about that right now. it’s not easy, living in the city. he’s romanticized it all his life, always saying how lucky you are that you live somewhere so interesting, but it’s hardly that glamorous. it’s too busy, loud, demanding. there’s none of the energy you filled up on in those summers.

even the unbearable heat was somehow made less so when you were running from shade to shade, playing hide-and-seek with penny and sam before being called back to the farm to help granny in the greenhouse. gone were your favorite days, seeing drops of sweat on sam’s shoulders as he practiced his skateboard tricks in front of his house. abby and you sat on the step with ice cream melting down your hands, making everything sticky with liquid sugary vanilla in between your fingers. sometimes jodi would bring out freshly squeezed lemonade in a pitcher full of the cold beverage with huge ice cubes. you’d down the drink before sucking on the ice cubes until they also disappeared. it was easy, it was comfortable.

those memories kept you sane in the summer weeks in the office. the air conditioning didn’t work as it should and the company was too cheap to replace it, so the only solution was to fan yourself with thick notebooks that had photos of your friends stuck to the covers. photos taken with haley’s old polaroid camera, a little scuffed on the edges from being shoved into an old diary during packing. photos starring those sweet smiles that came to your friends’ lips so easily whenever you were around, smiles that lit up your nights and chased even the darkest nightmares away.

“oh okay so you became little miss very important and immediately forgot about the rest of us? you couldn’t have come to see us once ?” sebastian’s words hurt, but nobody can put you down quite like you yourself. you’ve been doing it for over twenty years, the experience is irreplaceable.

“that’s not fair, you could’ve called. the phone works both ways,” you reply, furrowing your brows further, “and besides, you think it was my idea to not have any fucking time off when i could actually come here?”

sebastian scoffs. of course he doesn’t think that, but it’s easier being angry with you than accepting the fact that he felt rejected, abandoned…

confused, especially after that last summer five years ago.

granny had passed away early that spring so you were needed on the farm then more than ever. grandpa’s hands didn’t work as well as they used to, his fingers were weaker and shakier, his knees gave out more often, and his back never truly straightened anymore. he worked harder than ever attempting to escape the overwhelming loneliness with the love of his life gone without any warning. your parents never got into the whole farming business. they came over for the funeral and kept asking if he would move with them to the city so they could keep an eye on him . he would’ve rather died alone in the middle of his parsnip field, he said. you had to admire the stubborn old man, the unwavering sense of loyalty to his land was something else. so he wiped his tears and kissed the framed photo of granny smiling with a large sunflower on her head every morning before he left the house to work. you focused on the farm more, finally having reached the age when he could trust you with more tasks, and you loved every second of it.

it was therapeutic, the cold earth between your fingers helped you become more connected with the land, and the animals seemed to look forward to your entering the barn and coop every morning. it was a life you thought you could get used to, even if it brought tears to your eyes whenever the greenhouse demanded attention. it was hers . it had granny’s heart and soul embedded in the glass panes and the fruit trees and those precious flowers. once you finally got over the anxiety of entering the warm structure, you could hardly leave again. sebastian found you in there often, remembering it as a place you were most likely to get stuck in if you hadn't shown up to the lake or to his house.

it was his gentle hands that picked you up off the ground and walked out with you to greet the moon and the stars. it was him who helped you talk about her and how much you missed her. it was him who kissed your cherry flavored lips when he saw them quiver. and it was you who leaned into the kisses every time, who lay down to feel his body on yours and his hands ridding you of your clothes. it was you who sought it out almost every day that summer, it didn’t matter when or where.

you had him in his bed, against the wall of his bedroom, on the beach, and behind a tree in the secret woods. he had you by the tide pools, on his desk, and in the lake by his house, making it another secret that the water kept.

both of you did your best to keep those bite marks hidden, not being able to keep your teeth to yourselves when the sex felt so good.

that summer could have very well been dubbed the best summer of your lives. if only it didn’t end with that cursed job offer.

“i know it wasn’t your idea, dumbass, but you could’ve let m– us know that we won’t see you again.”

“i’m here now.” it’s a piss poor response to his words full of hurt. he puts the cigarette out into the ground and doesn’t reach for another, instead turning to face you again, making you look into his eyes and see the state that he got himself into, spending five years wondering…

“yeah but are you? is it you or is it some… piece of shit corporate pawn that you swore you’d never be!” his hands shoot out to gesture as he raises his voice, finally showing the repressed emotions that have been bubbling up inside his chest for years, pushed down because he didn’t want to show that he cared, that he was hurt, that he felt discarded. was i really only good for that? good to fuck the grief out of you and have years of our friendship erased? he wondered that at night when he tried to sleep but all he could do was think about your body moving on top of his, he could still feel the dips in the mattress where your knees were when you threw your head back and moaned out his name. you looked like a goddess then, under the dimmed lights of his bedroom as his cock disappeared into you and elicited cute little curses from your red lips. “i thought we were on the same page.”

“i hardly had a choice, you know? a job is a job, and the money was good. i didn’t have the option to stay with my parents forever–”

“oh yeah, ‘cause i’m so thrilled with staying in my mom’s basement at this point!”

“you know what i mean and don’t put words in my mouth!” you sigh, it wasn’t supposed to turn into a fight.

all you wanted to do when you got to the lake was ask him how he’s been, not have a shouting match out in the open. he keeps quiet for a while, deciding to slide off his shoes and socks to cool off in the water. he doesn’t stop there, for the rest of his clothes also find themselves on the ground and he pushes himself into the lake. you can hardly believe what’s happening, it’s been so long since you saw his body only in boxers. sebastian swims away, not caring that he’s leaving the conversation or that there are words still stick in your throat.

exasperated, devastated that this is how your first meeting after five years is going, you lie on your back in the grass, keeping your feet in the water. fuck . of course it has to be terrible. of course, your expectation of sebastian always being such a low-maintenance friend should’ve ended the minute you let him go down on you the first time. but how were you supposed to know he really meant it? that it wasn’t just a thing friends did with each other when they got to the point of being too horny to function. you were so tired that summer, so worn out with sadness and exhaustion from taking on more farm work, it was easy deciding to cross a line with him. you’d thought about it extensively years prior, imagining what it would be like, but never really assumed it would happen outside of your head. and now you’ve fucked it up. destroyed nearly everything you’ve built since the first time you came to the farm.

“cherry…” sebastian’s voice startles you, making you flinch and immediately sit up. he swims closer, nearly to your knees with his hair swooping up as he pushes it back with one hand. he wipes his face with it, looking up with those familiar eyes. he’s missed you, despite being furious and crushed by your abandonment, he’s missed you more. “why didn’t you call?” his voice is nearly pleading, but you know he knows why. he knew what you were like, he’s spent many of your crises helping you breathe, rubbing your back, and whispering sweet hopeful words into your ear.

“i…” you swallow your tears and anguish, the guilt that devours you from the inside. “i couldn’t handle it anymore. i love it here but i was too fucking sad.” biting your lip for a second, trying not to burst into tears, you shake your head. this is not the time to lose your composure. so with another deep breath you continue. “i was so fucking sad because I felt that my life didn't lead anywhere if I didn't make something of myself in the city. stupid, I know. but once i was successfully made a cog in the machine I just got tired . I couldn't get away for long enough to recover, it was draining everything that made me me. and you would've hated me.” the tied strap around his wrist catches your eye again, sebastian places his palms on the edge where you sit, on either side of you as he looks up from the lake, wet hair pushed up and water droplets glistening on his pale face.

okay, so he hasn't changed that much, despite the images that your anxiety put into your head during those years away. he still has those deep eyes and unfairly thick eyelashes. he has a few healing scratches, most likely from the mines, on his cheek, the one that usually gets covered with his long fringe.

“how could I hate you, cherry?” his voice is still pleading, for a moment almost making you forget that he has every right to be angry. “sure, I was pissed off, I wanted to hate you. but you know the deepest parts of my heart, I could never feel that way about anyone else. even when you’re acting like a dick…” his hand reaches for yours, bringing it to his chest, right where his heart beats, “even when you're an insufferable, selfish, annoying brat that pushes all my buttons… even then I cannot hate you.” there is a hint of a smile on his cheeky lips, but you know you owe him more than what you gave.

“i’m really sorry. i missed you every day i was away.” you confess, eyes meeting his in an intense stare. his hand tightens around yours, like your apology is the last piece of the puzzle he has been trying to solve for years. “i missed everyone here, but I thought about you most of all.” you swallow, feeling your throat become drier than ever.

it's the most open you've been with someone since grandpa died, having responded to everyone's condolences with a sad smile and a weak thank you . but with sebastian it was never like that, you never felt like you had to hide what you were feeling, even if it was pain. both of you have been there for each other, and a bond like that doesn't snap so easily.

“missed me the most, huh?” his face shifts into a mischievous smile as he holds your hand against his heart.

the grip of his fingers tightens for a second, reminding you of all those times you ran with sebastian to escape the mayor’s stern look when you were sneaking around town, planting rotten vegetables under his door mat to piss him off after he shouted at sam for skateboarding in town. sebastian took your hand then, much like now, and he ran, dragging you after him to his house where you could finally stop and catch your breath.

you want to say more, reveal the depth of your feelings and how he infiltrated your poor heart, how you cried your heart out nearly every night since you got that job, how you became what you had promised him you never would, thinking he would hate you, call you a sell-out, see you for the weak conformist that you sold yourself to be. you want to tell him he has the central role in your dreams. that he matters most, and you need him now more than ever, already having felt his care and support when granny died.

everyone tiptoed around you and avoided mentioning her name that summer, but sebastian made sure to keep her memory alive by getting you to talk about her, joining you in the greenhouse to pick cherries with you, eating more than you'd put in the large basket. his fingertips were as red as yours, and you chased each other around the flowerbeds trying to wipe the fruit stains on one another’s face and clothes.

and now his cheeky smile reminds you of the one he wore then, hell-bent on keeping you, making sure you're not closing off from him and disappearing into your thoughts. it means trouble.

it distracts you long enough so you don't realise he's tugging you by that hand into the lake. with a quick, cut off yelp, you end up underwater. clothes and all. luckily, you have nothing in your pockets, your shoes have already been off, and all that's ruined in any way is the tiny sliver of dignity you had left. gasping for air you come up above the surface, hair stuck to your face, sebastian’s laughter in your ear. he holds your hand still, keeping you oriented as you cough out some water that entered your nose.

“you dick!” you cough out more, holding onto his chest and wiping your eyes with the other hand “oh i hate you so much!” a few more awful sounding coughs and you are fine, glaring at sebastian as he nearly drowns himself laughing at your angry face.

“no you don't, you can't !” he wraps one arm around your waist, using the other to swim and bring you both closer to the edge of the lake, letting you hold onto the firm ground as you push the hair out of your face.

“I could !” you protest, reaching out only to attempt to punch him in the chest, the water making your attempt laughable.

you both know it's a damn filthy lie. as you keep moving your feet to stay afloat, sebastian pulls you closer, turning you to face him. there is no escaping his attention now.

“don't disappear on me again,” his tone is serious, a contrast with his earlier laughter and mischief, “or i’ll have no choice but to glue myself to you. got it?”

“okay. promise.”

he nods, quickly pushing himself up and out of the water, offering you a hand to help you out. you can do it yourself, with only a little bit of wiggling before bringing a knee up to push yourself up as well and sit next to him, completely drenched as your clothes stick to your body.

“you look like a wet rat.” sebastian comments, nearly starting laughing again, but your glare in his direction stops him.

“i’m gonna get you back for this,” you promise, but you can’t stay angry for long, something about his wet body next to yours mellows you out and requires attention of your eyes on the pale glow of his skin and the way droplets race down his lean frame to reach the ground. memories of that same body flood your mind, how good it looked when he moved on top of you on this very grass, how well it fit against yours when you were pushed up against the shed door at the farm.

“gonna have to stick around for that, you know?” it’s like he’s testing out what you said earlier, trying to figure out if you really meant it, that you’re not going to disappear.

“i’m staying, g-gonna restore the farm. i owe it to them.” your hands gather all the wet strands of your hair and wring it out, you’re already on your feet and picking up your socks and shoes by the time that sebastian makes a move to gather his clothes and starts walking towards his house.

“you’re doing what ?” his tone is surprised like he didn’t even think that something could be done about the once-thriving farm that’s now overgrown and abandoned.

he must’ve ventured there occasionally, checking in on the state of it while it was occupied only by a weakening old man that enjoyed sebastian’s visits because he’d get to talk about his granddaughter. the man would tell him how proud he was of her success even if he wished she would make decisions that would bring her more happiness. they both knew she was happier in pelican town than anywhere else.

you shiver with the cold that attaches itself to your wet clothes, seeping into your bones quicker than you expect. sebastian notices and pulls you closer with an arm thrown over your shoulders. despite the fact that he is also wet, not providing much warmth at all, you’re grateful for the gesture. it reminds you of all the times you went skinny dipping with sam and abby. shy at first, but within what felt like only minutes, you stopped giving a shit about nudity, instead just having the time of your life with the best friends you could’ve asked for. if anything, it made all of you develop more appreciation for each other, seeing what you looked like under shimmering moonlight as water droplets reflected it off your skin.

“restoring it. i n-n-need to, grandpa l-l-left it t-to me– f-f-fuck i’m too c-cold.” your teeth chatter and it makes sebastian shift into gear, dragging you along to rush you into the house. robin’s barely covering a snicker while maru looks at you two with a raised eyebrow.

“what happened to you ?” maru chuckles, covering her mouth with one hand while the other holds a clipboard with way too many sheets of paper attached.

“decided to jump into the lake. she’s so silly, isn’t she?” sebastian quickly lies, dragging you down the stairs to the basement before you can tell him off and snitch on him.

“y-you little…” his laugh stops you from cursing him, it's a sound you've been dreaming of for five years. as he helps you out of your soaked clothes, not minding the puddle of lake water appearing around both of you while his bare feet left marks on the floor, you recall the first time you heard him laugh.

you must have been five at that point, and the memory is still clear as day in your mind. he'd always been suspicious of new people, so when you first saw him on the beach - him accompanied by robin and a very tiny maru in demetrius’ arms, you by your granny - he squinted at you as if to warn you not to come closer to his sand castle. you'd never made one yourself before, so the very idea of creating something so fun out of the thing you walk on was interesting. he waited for you to approach, and as soon as you did he told you he'd push you into the water if you ruined it. it was a simple, small construction, and you crouched to take a closer look, careful not to provoke the boy’s already present disdain. sebastian gave you a few moments to observe with wide eyes until he started explaining the purpose of each of the towers. this is where the prisoners are and the knights sleep in this one. this tall one is the wizard's tower. he can turn people into furniture. have you met the wizard? my mom says he doesn't like people that much. but he doesn't turn them into tables. I didn't ask about the frogs. do you think he turns people into frogs? his questions were neverending. he finally found a person who didn't seem to get annoyed with him for asking, who didn't look down at him for his fantasies of knights and wizards and castles. he made up adventures, led by groups of valiant warriors, fierce mages, and comforting healers, and laid them out so vividly, painting the world before you while all you could do was sit in your damp bathing suit on the wet sand and adoringly listen to him talk and gesture and raise his voice as the story came to an end.

in the end, with his little smile showing off a few missing teeth, he looked at you like he finally found his match. both sporting ice cream smudges on your faces, you spent the entire day talking over the sandcastle until your respective guardians decided it was dinner time and you were dragged away to get cleaned up before the meal. sebastian turned around and giggled over his shoulder why do you have red on your shirt? you hadn't even noticed it before, so looking down you remembered that granny asked you to remove cherry pits with her on the porch. it's from cherries! robin put her son's beach towel in a bag while her husband carried the baby, everyone waved goodbye but sebastian still took a few moments to look at you one last time that day, laughing again before waving with his small hand. okay, bye cherry! granny kept chuckling to herself as she wiped your cheeks clean of any ice cream you had smudged on yourself and she brought you a clean shirt. such a sweet boy, she chuckled at the nickname he had given you, don't usually hear sebastian talk to people much. she kept humming an old tune as she took your hand and walked back to the farm, the two of you catching the last orange rays of sun before the moon came out. she started calling you cherry that evening, and the idea spread throughout the town. sebastian. you repeated in your head. I wanna know more about the wizards.

twenty years later that same boy walks back into his bedroom only wearing his soaked boxers, but holding two large towels, passing one to you as he wraps the other around his waist and slides off his boxers from under it. you are still shivering like a leaf, peeling off your underwear to wrap yourself in the soft towel, leaving the clothes on the floor of his room before sitting on the edge of his bed.

“you okay?” his voice is as low as it usually was in this room, it’s his sanctuary, free from any loud noises that could ruin his peace.

“just thinking.” you offer a smile, this room brought back so many memories, including the ones of your first ever exchanged words and ideas.

“oh, careful, don’t want you to hurt yours– ouch!” he laughs when you punch his shoulder, holding onto the towel with one hand as the other withdraws from him.

you’re slowly getting back into the usual routine, the usual state of things that has always been so natural between you. with a sigh of relief you look around the room. it hasn’t changed much. almost at all, actually, though the keyboard on his desk is different and there are a few more books and comics on his shelves.

other than that, it’s how you remember it – posters covering most of the walls, along with a few photos stuck to the brick with messily torn tape. photos of his friends, of beach shenanigans, of sam’s birthday trips to zuzu city, and sleepovers in this very room. they coax a smile from your heart, tugging on the corners of your lips until sebastian notices and reaches out to poke your cheek gently.

“are you staying?” his voice is hopeful, so different now from the way he spoke to you when you just showed up at the door.

shaking your head, you force yourself to stand up. the movement reluctantly kicks him into gear, he nods and turns to his wardrobe to pull out a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. you stop him bending down to grab a pair of soft boxers from the drawer.

“there’s no need, i’ll just put mine on when i get back.”

“right. you still got a big ass that barely fits into my boxers, eh?” his slight disappointment at your not staying over is masked by a cheeky teasing line.

“you little shit, that was one time! ” you try to swat at him again, but he laughs and throws the hoodie and sweatpants your way, making you reach out and catch them, dropping your towel onto the floor in the process.

it distracts him, the clear view of your damp body. the few seconds he has to catalogue every glowing inch of you soon end and he clears his throat, awkwardly unwrapping his own towel and turning to put on a dry pair of underwear.

“the one pair i will never be able to wear again, all because of your ass.” he chuckles and throws the comment over his shoulder, facing you again as he grabs the towel off the floor and starts drying his dark hair. you pull the string of the sweatpants tight, securing them around your waist, and cover the waistband with the hoodie.

“you keep complaining, but…” your cheeks heat up, visibly flustered you chuckle, “you and i both know you like it just the way it is.”

sebastian laughs, taken by surprise as you bring it up. yeah, he’s smacked it many times, grabbed it in his hands, kneaded it with those long fingers countless times. he’s left bite marks after bite marks on it, enjoyed the feeling of the soft flesh under his teeth.

“alright, alright. fine.” once he’s dressed and you’ve put your shoes back on, he throws one arm around your shoulder again, slipping back into the familiar flow of walking by your side. “let’s get you home then.”

it’s already dark by the time you’re out of the house, making the air a little colder as you walk down the path off the mountains. sebastian doesn’t ask you much, and you’re thankful for it. his hand is warm on your arm, holding you close to him like the old times. he always walked you home, no matter where you hung out, no matter how tired or stoned he was. it was the thing he never missed out on, waiting at the farm entrance until you’re inside, safe and sound.

he'd message you once he was home as well, partly because he didn't want you to worry, and partly because he wasn't ready to end the day.

and you loved those texts, pressing a pillow over your face so you don't wake up your grandparents with giggles as the sun came up. this time there is nobody to wake up as you two walk up the now-fixed steps of the porch and reach the hardwood door to the house.

your gaze settles on the bench by the door where granny used to sit. in an attempt to stop yourself getting emotional, you walk over to the railing and lean against it, postponing the inevitable moment when sebastian will have to leave you. the moment when you’ll be left alone in the farm house for the first night in your life. sebastian follows, his elbows rest on the smooth wood while he looks at the land ahead… and then at you. your skin tickles under the weight of his gaze, but you don’t sink under it. you return it. there’s that tension again, crackling in the air, electrifying the distance between your lips. if only you could…

“you can ask me to stay, you know?” sebastian’s voice is low, you can barely hear him as your eyes flit between his lips and his eyes.

“stay… here?”

“yeah, you don’t have to be alone. at least tonight.” his offer sounds like a plea, like it’s for his benefit just as much as it is for yours.

“just say you want to stay then,” you challenge him, feeling a smirk curl your lips, “say it and i’ll give in.”

you remember how he always had a way to make you agree to things, he always knew when you were just holding back for whatever stupid reason. it was always a stupid reason, and when you gave in you were glad you did. nights were infinitely better when sebastian was involved.

he rolls his lips together, hesitating only for a moment before leaning in and pressing a tender kiss to your temple. it’s the kind of softness you haven’t felt in a while, there was no time while you worked for joja corp. left to your own devices, you rarely ventured out to find a vent for the pent up frustration. and even when you did, it was never as good as it could’ve been, never as good as when it was with him .

“i want to stay.” sebastian murmurs, the shapes of the words traced on your cheek before he presses a kiss there. and another, slowly inching closer to your lips, challenging you to stop him. but he knows you won’t. you know it, too. all it takes is one move to end this tumultuous day with a bang. you tilt your head to the side, speeding up his lazy kisses until they reach the corner of your lips and stop. it takes enormous effort not to huff like a brat, not to furrow your brows and stomp your foot, crossing your arms just like when you were little and granny wouldn’t let you eat ice cream before lunch.

“cherry, don’t be like that…” sebastian shifts and pushes off the railing, moving to stand behind you and press himself against your back. those familiar palms of his glide up your arms, chasing away the slight bite of cold in the night air. “can’t go from not seeing you in five years to giving you everything right away.”

he drags his hands up to your shoulders and then down your torso, gripping and grabbing along the way, reacquainting himself with every part of you. fingers trailing your skin under his hoodie, yoba he loved seeing you wear his clothes , lips dragging along the nape of your neck, sebastian is indulging in all the fantasies he has had for years. your mind is racing, recalling every instance when you’d lie in bed struggling to sleep and resort to getting yourself off to an old memory of sebastian’s head between your thighs. it never felt the same, his tongue just knew your body too well, it felt better gripping his soft hair than closing your fists around cold sheets of your uncomfortable bed back in zuzu.

a little sigh escapes you once his lips reach your ear. with a gentle tug of his teeth on your lobe he drags a startled moan out of you. you can feel his self-satisfied giggle better than you can hear it as he trails those smirking lips down to the corner of your mouth once again, before capturing it in a devouring kiss.

head tilted to the side, your lips move together like a well-oiled machine, familiar in the way they taste, of coffee and a little bit of smoke. his one hand rests on the softness of your stomach while the other kneads your breast gently. the hoodie rides up and the cold air sends shivers through you, but sebastian keeps rolling his hips against you, grinding against your ass. despite how long it’s been, his hands seem to still know your body, despite how many people he’s been with since – a thought you don’t want to dwell on – his touch on your skin feels like home.

sebastian sounds more and more desperate, the little groans as your tongues glide together betray him. as you open your eyes, he keeps moving, pulling away from the kiss to hungrily suck on the skin of your neck, all the while his hands quickly tug the waistband of his sweatpants you’re wearing down, once again baring your plump ass to his eyes. one bruise blooming on your neck, another is already in the making as he thanks yoba you didn’t take his boxers when you changed in his room. it’s a quick exchange, a breathy do you wanna answered with an instant yes please ‘cause you have always been polite, even when bratty.

the usual, grabby, movements of his hands knead and savor the flesh of your body, as if mapping it out to make sure it’s still the same body that left him five years ago. it’s a little different, but so was his, you have a little more meat on your bones, something that sebastian cannot seem to get enough of. with a fluid movement he tugs his own sweatpants down, freeing his erection as it springs out and immediately ends up pressed against you again.

“sweet yoba on a treetop, cherry… i missed you more than you know.” breath glides from his mouth along your neck, it’s warmer than the memories it brings up.

you murmur something sappy back at him, making him chuckle through the heavy breathing as he slides the sweatpants lower on your legs, letting them pool around your feet. your movements are almost as smooth as that last summer you were here, only a little rusty as you lift one leg up, stepping out of the sweatpants and resting the knee on the railing and leaning forward. immediately it’s a familiar feeling, the tip of his already leaking cock pressing so gently against your soft cunt, almost being sucked in with how much you’ve missed him. even when you found the time and will to go out, none of the encounters felt good like this, none of them left you feeling anything other than disappointment and regret. you try not to think about them, or about him fucking anyone other than you, and those creeping thoughts are swiftly chased away by the intense feeling of him fitting his entire length inside you. sebastian groans, shifting his hips to feel the softness of your ass against him, to feel your wetness gather at the base of his cock while he adjusts to the feeling of being inside you once again.

“five years…” he shakily breathes out, repeating the same words he said at the lake, but in a tone of relief, his anticipation finally coming to an end. “i’ve imagined it a lot, but nothing comes close to the real you.”

and so it starts. with a gentle groan against your skin, with a slow moan slipping from your lips, he pulls away only to thrust back into you. this is it , you think, what i’ve been chasing . this intimate feeling even though you’re outside, not the riskiest thing you two have done, but enough to check the adventurous box on your shared checklist. with a tilt of your head to the side you catch his blissed out face, his soft lip caught between his teeth and eyes closed as he thrusts again, colliding his hip bones with your flesh, his balls gently smacking against your clit. it’s difficult trying to keep your eyes open, but the expression on his face is too beautiful to miss out on. your juicy lips part, letting out sweet honeyed moans that you almost try to stop, instincts telling you to be quiet around the farm house. instead, you grip the handrail as hard as you can, feeling it dig into you with every lurch forward.

sebastian holds you by the hips, digging his fingertips into your supple skin to hold you steady while fucking into you, fitting his cock head against all your sweet spots, hitting right where you need him to, where you’ve needed him for years. hearing those raspy moans coming from his throat brings up so much warmth in your belly, already building up the orgasm even though you have just started, and you suspect it’s the same for him. maybe it’s because of the fact that you haven’t had sex in a while, maybe it’s the roller-coaster of emotions you’ve gone through in the past twenty-four hours, or maybe it’s a secret third thing, but you can already feel your orgasm approaching as you near the brink. sebastian’s hand creeping around your body to rub your clit in circles doesn’t help hold it off either.

“i’m n-not gonna last–” you stutter out, still keeping your eyes on his perfect, blushing face.

“me neither, c-come on cherry…” he groans, circling your sensitive clit with gentle fingers, always working perfectly with what your body needs.

the pace of his hips changes as soon as your warm cunt tightens around him, squeezing him and keeping him in while your legs shake, threatening to give out. he stutters in those slow movements, speeding up to carry you over, and leans down to press tender kisses to your bruised neck, whimpering as he pulls you by the hips a little harder, moving you against him until he gasps and spills all he has inside you, sticky white liquid covering your soft walls. sebastian slowly comes to a stop, taking a few long moments to kiss you, holding your head turned towards him as he pulls out with a sigh. now soft, he groans at the sight of his release starting to drip out of you and onto the deck. it’s almost enough to make him take you again, but he’s spent, having finally experienced you again, pure pleasure that was just out of reach until today, perfection incarnate.

“think it’s dripping on your sweats,” you chuckle, finally catching your breath, “sorry.”

sebastian shakes his head, pulling up his boxers and sweatpants before helping you lower your leg and picking up the crumpled (and stained) sweats off the floor. one day you’ll stop apologizing for things that aren’t really your fault, but today is not that day. jiggling the doorknob you stumble inside, carried by wobbly legs as sebastian trails after you.

it’s odd going through your usual nightly routine in a nearly empty house. the radio is off, and so are most of the lights. the bathroom light takes a few seconds to turn on, you make a mental note to fix it in the morning, but for the time being it’s enough just to exist in this space, familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. it feels different when it’s only yours, when it will be only yours for a long while. despite the heaviness of that realization, sebastian’s footsteps ease the pain, his satisfied humming disperses the bad thoughts looming in the corners of your mind, silencing them as he comes up behind you while you brush your teeth.

his arms wrap around your waist, your shoulder is the perfect spot for his chin to rest on while he presses little kisses to the bruises he sucked into your neck earlier.

“i put the sheets on your bed, that okay?” his gentle voice fills your chest with relief. you didn’t tell him that you wanted to sleep in your own bed, not yet ready to take over the main bedroom as your own. he just knew. you nod before leaning over the sink to spit out the foam and rinse your mouth. kissing him feels like the safest way to say thank you, not triggering the tears again.

the two of you drag yourselves to your old room, undressing slowly until you’re naked before reaching into your suitcase to put on a pair of panties. deciding to forgo a pyjama top, you slip under the fresh sheets smelling of sebastian’s fabric softener – robin must have taken them for a wash before you got here. pulling the string on the bedside table lamp immerses the room into darkness once more. dark and silent, it would be enough to push you into a pit of despair were it not for sebastian’s warm arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you so close that you entwine your legs with his. nearly face to face now, you close your eyes to inhale his scent, thanking the universe for giving him enough initiative to stay with you tonight. gently, he hums, presses a few delicate kisses to your forehead, and starts rubbing gentle circles on your lower back.

“thank you,” you murmur against the base of his neck, feeling your minty breath against your lips, “i wouldn’t have made it to bed if you weren’t here.”

“hmmm,” pursing his lips before pressing another kiss to your forehead, he sighs, “but thank fuck one of us has common sense, huh?”

a gentle chuckle shakes his chest, words leaving his mouth causing you to attempt a smack on his shoulder, but you give up, instead giggling along. you fall asleep to the sound of his voice, slipping into the sweetest sleep you’ve had in a while as he tells you about all the random things that have happened in the valley since you left, now with no bitterness in his voice.

waking up to the chirping of birds was the norm in the summer, but the sound wasn’t quite right this time. it is an owl, the low hoot snaps you out of your peaceful dream making you lift your head to get you bearings, take a moment to remember where you are and why you can smell sebastian’s presence.

it’s okay, we’re okay, you comfort yourself, once again settling into his embrace, smiling as his arms instinctively tighten around you.

then he moves, taking a deeper breath and shifting to roll over on top of you. only once you feel his lips trail along your neck do you realize he is also awake, alert, and not interested in simply falling back to sleep.

it starts with gentle kisses, lips savoring the taste of your skin, along with some light touches, his hands roaming your sides and settling on your hips. his lips connecting with your skin are the only source of noise in the room, finally being joined by moving bodies against the sheets once you arch your body into sebastian and let his hands travel around your back, squeezing every piece of flesh he can reach. he doesn’t start grinding against you immediately, instead he kisses down to your chest, taking a nipple between his lips while one of his hands sacrifices its warm place on your hip to hold the other breast, kneading it to make some tasty moans spill from your lips.

like he’s getting drunk off the sounds from your mouth, he gently presses his teeth against your nipple, tugging on it how he remembers you liking it. moving downwards, he lifts his gaze up to see you jutting your chin up, pressing the back of your head on the pillow as your hips lift, seeking for more, for what only he can give you. warm kisses make a winding path down your bare stomach, peppered with gentle bites of his impatient teeth as your thighs spread, letting him slot himself in between them like the good old times.

sebastian’s clever fingers hook under your panties, but he doesn’t remove them, the cheeky fuck. instead, he presses them tighter against your soft pussy, slowly getting wetter with his attention and creating a sweet little damp patch on the fabric. he cannot help but press a delicate kiss to it. the tiniest whimper leaves you, spurring him on to press another kiss, and then another, making your underwear wet with his saliva as well as your arousal. his voice vibrates over your sensitive clit as he hums, praising you quietly as he slides his wet tongue along the material of your panties, pushing it in between your squishy folds before he finally slides them off, once he’s had enough of teasing you. once more he kisses your bare pussy, showing his affection through murmured praises and compliments. look how pretty, sebastian hooks his arms under your knees, bringing your legs over his shoulders before he dives in. so sweet f’ me , your breath gets shorter quickly, his tongue glides around your clit slowly, pretty and wet how i like her, he parts you with practiced ease, making you remember how it felt back then. how it felt when he was just starting, getting better with each night that he spent between your pretty thighs, i’ve missed it so much, making you scream out into his pillow and thanking yoba his walls were thick enough for his whole family not to hear you. could do this all fucking night, gentle slurping noises mixed with the hums coming from his mouth fill the air, coaxing moan after moan from you. it’s the first time you’re doing anything like this in the farm house, a christening in a way.

very soon, your moans get higher in pitch, they give way to whines as your hands find purchase in sebastian’s hair, tugging it only a little closer, cum for me, cherry, come on baby. and then your toes curl. shuddering, you cry out a desperate plea, lifting your hips up once more for sebastian to feel your slick cover his lips and chin. feasting on you, he licks his lips, not letting a single drop of you go to waste. he’d rather drown in you, rather give you his all than give up a molecule of your release, because it’s his. it’s all for him and it’s all because of him. he slowly helps you ride it out, licking gently between those slick folds as you relax, as your breath gets slower, and your legs stop shaking. one last kiss, he tells himself, pressing a single tender kiss to your clit as he pulls away slowly, wiping his face with his hand and licking it off, almost moaning and savoring the taste of you.

finally you open your eyes, the fuzziness around the edges of your vision persists, but the goal has never been clearer. sebastian leans in for a kiss on your lips and you snake your arms around his neck, bringing him in to wrap your legs around him, a move you would always pull in an attempt to wordlessly say thank you for treating you so well, for giving you what you needed without asking for anything in return. but you always gave him something in return, always made time for him, especially that summer. much like then, but with a little more desperation and need, he rubs his clothed cock against you, making you wince as it teases your overstimulated clit.

“shit i’m sorry.” he starts apologizing, stuttering over his words. you’re quick to shut him up, kissing him and poking at his tongue with yours, moaning as you taste your release on his lips. it’s the sexiest thing, the undeniable proof of his devotion to you. and when he pulls away for a moment to slide his boxers off, you use it to look over his body, sighing with satisfaction at seeing him in the sliver of moonlight dripping through the window of your room, bouncing off his lean torso and the lines of his beautiful face. your breath hitches in the second before he leans back down, this time grinding against your pussy with no barriers, no cursed clothes between you. leaning on his elbow, he reaches down with the other hand to lift your leg up, hooking it around his hips as he gently prods your entrance, hissing once his tip pokes into you.

“ h-aah please, seb… need you again.” your syrupy plea has him groaning as he dips his head to bury it into your neck, trying to hold on and keep his breath steady.

“cherry… fuck i’ve missed you, missed you so damn much i couldn’t breathe…” sebastian’s raspy voice glides over your skin as he sucks on your neck once more.

“i- i missed you too, so much, so much.” you gasp when he pushes his tip into you again, settling nicely inside as he keeps pushing, keeps making you take him again, “ so fucking much .” he hears you whine, ears perking up once he’s fully in. feeling your wetness on the base of his cock, feeling you contract around him, it’s almost enough to make him give up on the niceties and use you like a fuck toy, like his own hand that was getting the sticky end of things for five long years.

“whine for me again, p-please, cherry.” he swallows hard, staying buried in you until you gather your thoughts, take a few short breaths, and whine like your throat was begging for it.

only once you let it out does he pull back and thrust into you again, setting a slow pace to make you feel every vein on his aching cock, every inch that was waiting for you while you were away. and he gives them to you, so readily he feeds your cunt all his passion and all his love, stuffing it full of him as he speeds up a little, aiming to hear more of those saccharine moans you willingly let out of your throat. they fuel him, make him snap his hips harder, reminding you what’s been waiting for you all this time, what you can have with him. almost like feeling you for the first time, like you didn't fuck on the porch mere hours ago, he ruts into you desperately, needily pulling noises from your throat and his own.

heavy breaths roll off his tongue, groans and whimpers and curses mixed with your name. your eyes teeter between opening and closing, catching glimpses of his parted lips, his focused eyes, even looking down to see that old strap of your shirt tied securely around his wrist. you sniffle, taking a moment between lewd moans to take in the fact that he really waited for you, that he’s been sure of your connection and you never left his mind. you didn’t just belong to the summers, salt drying on your bodies as the sun burned memories into your skin. you belonged to eternity.

when you cry out his name, coated in that pretty, desperate tone, you know he feels you getting close. his thrusts speed up, bringing you both to the edge of an orgasm while your breaths quicken, mixing together until he hungrily dives in to kiss you again, to steal the whimper from your lips. grabbing for him, gripping his back with one hand and his arm with the other, you hold yourself steady, moaning into his mouth until you break. colors spark behind your eyes, electricity zips from your fingertips to your toes. you finish with a whine that sebastian immediately takes for himself, stuttering in his movements once your tight cunt contracts and squeezes him, keeping his cock inside while he spills his release inside you, slowing down to moan and breathe against your plush lips. the whole world stops when you’re done, sebastian’s weight covering you like a blanket of solace, his breath dancing on your cheek as he gathers strength to pull out and slump onto the mattress.

once again you find yourself in a comfortable position, sebastian’s arms wrapped around you, your face buried in his chest, legs entwined together under the warm covers. he’s softly talking into your hair, peppering you in gentle kisses in between sentences while you both try to drift off to sleep.

“and after coffee we can take a shower, we can drag out the morning, you’ll see, nothing important happens on spring mornings. then i’ll help you unpack,” his voice slows down, and so does your mind, “and… then we can… we can clear the farm together and…” he yawns, a small sigh escapes you as you snuggle a little closer, completely spend and happy. “and then we’ll get to work on th… the land and–”

you don’t get to hear the end of his train of thought, already dozing off, already dreaming again, tired and safe in his embrace.

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interstellarflare · 10 months ago

Text

A Cinderella Story || Anthony Bridgerton

-PART FIVE-

Summary: Have courage, and be kind. Words that you tried to live by ever since the passing of your parents. Though your step-mother and step-sisters did everything in their power to hide you and your status away from the rest of the Ton, you never expected to catch the eye of Viscount Anthony Bridgerton himself.

Authors Note: This is my first Bridgerton series! I had an absolute ball writing this, and I hope you enjoy it! There is a tag list open if anyone wishes to be kept updated for future parts. Gif by @venusianbabie

With the house descending into silence, you allowed yourself a moment to collapse onto the lounge in the living room with a loud sigh. With tired eyes your gaze focused on the ceiling, staring at the crystal chandelier as it glittered brightly.

A small smile crossed your lips, grateful for the peace and quiet. Lady Worthington, Mary and Elizabeth had left for the ball mere minutes ago, all of them excited and nervous about their prospects for the night. You hoped that Elizabeth and Lord Burton would get a chance to speak tonight, she had been so beside herself before she entered the carriage to depart. They had travelled with the Cowper family, who had sneered at your person when you had helped the Worthington’s to the carriage.

The train attached to Lady Worthington’s dress was a nightmare to manage, all bundled up in your arms so as to not drop it in the mud at your feet. You were covered in it now, thanks to a harsh push from Cressida who sent you sprawling onto the ground. Luckily however, you managed to save the train though.

You felt the sting of tears prick your eyes, a sense of sadness overwhelming you. How had you become so unfortunate? To be stuck with a wicked witch for a stepmother, and two stepsisters that laughed at you upon your little trip in the dirt. Elizabeth hadn’t said anything, nor looked your way when Mary and Elizabeth started to cackle loudly. She merely turned away; her eyes downcast as she carried herself into the awaiting carriage.

You missed your father, you missed your mother. Their love and kindness was completely gone from this home, the home you had grown up in as a child. You cried into the cushions, sobbing loudly and desperately. You had never felt so alone, so vulnerable…so lost. You knew that they would want you to be brave, to stay strong, and to have hope that everything will work out in the end. Your mind flickered back to the book you were reading earlier that morning, of the fabled prince charming sweeping the princess off her feet, and living happily ever after.

Perhaps your prince charming was around the corner, perhaps he was waiting for you somewhere to take you away from this now horrid home, filled with heartache and distant memories-

There was a loud knock at the door, so loud that it echoed throughout the foyer and into the living room. You jumped with a small squeak, bolting upright in your position on the lounge. You wiped your eyes, drying your hands on your muddy dress and wiping your nose with your apron. It was unladylike surely, but you were not a Lady anymore. After trying and failing to make yourself look presentable, you hurried towards the door as the knocking sounded again. It sounded desperate, frantic even, your face contorting into a confused expression as you tried to think of who it could be.

It couldn’t be a visitor for Lady Worthington or her daughters, the rest of high society was at Lady Danbury’s ball, and it was way too late in the night for anyone to be here in the first place. So, who could it be? As you opened the door your breath caught in your throat, your heart skipping a beat as you recognised the man that stood before you.

Viscount Anthony Bridgerton smiled, staring down at you with kind and soft expression. His eyes never left yours as he spoke, seemingly examining every inch of your face as he bowed politely.

“Miss Y/n, I apologise for calling so late, would I perhaps be able to come in-“

“Why are you here!?” You found yourself exclaiming, your eyes wide in shock as you felt your heart began to beat wildly. Anthony Bridgerton, one of the most distinguished men on all of the ton was standing on your doorstep. Why?

Anthony chuckled, his charming smile widening as he shrugged his shoulders. “Why not?” he replied lightly, finding amusement in your expression as it changed from shock to pure bewilderment.

“If you are here to see Lady Worthington or her daughters, they are gone” You replied shortly, your gaze falling nervously to the floor as you suddenly became very aware of your current state. You were completely covered in slowly drying mud, bloodshot eyes from crying, you no doubt looked like a complete wreck…wonderful.

Anthony hummed “I’m not here to see then, thank god. They arrived at the ball shortly after I left-“

“Why did you leave? Surely someone will notice your absence, and what will the ton think if you are found here, alone…with me-“

“My brother is good at coming up with excuses, I’m sure he’ll spin some wide tale about my whereabouts”.

“And is that something you wish to deal with?”

“Benedict can be a bit excentric at times, but I trust him wholeheartedly…” Anthony finished, clasping his hands behind his back and standing tall, “..now Miss Y/n, may I come inside? Or are you to leave your visitor out in the cold?”.

It hadn’t occurred to you until now, but as Anthony stood before you, you couldn’t help but notice how tall he truly was. You hadn’t noticed it this morning, but he towered over you, the top of your head just barely reaching his chin. You stared up into his eyes, searching for any sign of jest, that this was all some sort of joke, and a complete figment of your imagination conjured up by your saddened state.

But he was real, and he was here.

You released a short breath, a soft smile crossing your lips as you stepped aside and gestured for him to enter.

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bedouinpoet · 3 months ago

Text

Leader, lover, sir, and broken dream

Aaron Hotchner x (BAU) fem reader

Continuation of Permission and offices and punishments. Three part story. Took me a hot minute to finish it but hope you like it part 2 and 3 will be done soon! Hope you enjoy my lovelies. Not much SMUT in this chapter but a ton in the next two chapters 🫣

CHAPTER 1

It had been a year since Haley was murdered by George Foyet aka the reaper. That day tore down everything for Hotch…for Jack…and for you. Her funeral was the day Aaron Hotchner decided to end it with you. You felt your heart rip apart he was pushing you away. After everything you both went through together, even when Haley and Jack were in witness protection things may have gotten rocky but you got to be there for him but there was this feeling of guilt that you were together while they were in witness protection. But you and the team were all doing everything you possibly could to take Foyet down but when all was said and done…you remember that day, every day like it was only moments before.

…

1 year ago, Haley’s funeral.

Everything feels so surreal for the whole team, everyone just trying to see what you could do for Aaron “I just feel so awful, maybe I should send them gift basket or or or I don’t know home made cookies, or brownies or wine I don’t know-“ you give Pen a hug to cool down her spiral as she starts to tear up “hey whatever you give them they will love, Jack happens to love double chocolate and Hotch likes simple chocolate chip you wink and wipe away her tears “they’ll be okay pen, its just gonna take time and a whole lot of support from us when their ready” She smiles and nods giving you one more grateful hug. You spend an hour talking with people sharing memories, you notice Hotch has been avoiding you but you shake it off you can’t imagine what he’s going through all you can do is be patient and be there for him as best you can but its getting hard when all you want to do is hold him, tell him it will be alright. Give Jack-o-lantern a big hug. But for some reason you can’t. You keep glancing at Hotch and notice he started fidgeting with his index and thumb, he always does that when he’s nervous or a million miles away so you shoot him a text

Y/N: Hey, if you need a drink or some fresh air just let me know , how are you right now? <3

You see Hotch take his phone, read your text…then put it back, he’s never done that, he really is avoiding you. You once again shake it off as Derek comes over beside you. “He’ll be okay pretty girl” and you start to feel your eyes burn with tears, the emotions you’ve been burying rise to the surface, Morgan is always able to get you and he hugs you without you needing to say a word and you stay in his arms for a moment “I know guess I just feel so useless. How are you feeling by the way DM?” He laughs into your hair, you started calling him that after a flirty joke you told Morgan to piss off Hotch and get punished after work “Derek Morgan can fill my DM’s anytime”

Hotch tied you to the bed and didn’t let you cum for an hour after that.

“I’m alright pretty girl just worried about Hotch and Jack but they are both tough they’ll get through it” you find yourself hugging him tighter not realizing how badly you needed to be hugged like this….then you get a text

Hotch: meet me outside in five…please…the balcony

you turn to see but Hotch is already gone. As you step out onto the balcony you face Aaron’s back. Even after everything he’s gone through he always stands tall, the air and silhouette of a leader. And he fidgets with his index and thumb, you clear your throat and he turns around his face softens from surprise to familiarity “you were a million miles away huh?” He tilts his head in curiosity and it takes everything in you to not just go and kiss that adorable face…but some thing about the way he looks at you stops you. Even from grabbing his hand. You just put your hands in your pockets “What’s up handsome? Where’s your head at right now?” He swallows hard and for the first time ever it seems like Aaron Hotchner….was scared to say whatever he wanted to say. “Aaron? What is it? talk to me” you reach for his hand finally and for a moment everything is okay for a moment Hotch is back to being your Hotch, your Aaron, then it crashes, he lets go of your hands and ”I don’t think we should continue this anymore…”

”I’m sorry? Continue what?”

”this….us…”

you try and tell yourself this is a trick of your mind, your ears something in your body is just playing some sick joke…it must be

“wait…are you ….Aaron are you breaking up with me?”

You see Hotch’s eyes swell with tears and you know one more word and the dam breaks as he nods

“what? No? Aaron, Hotch honey right now you’ve gone through something unimaginable and its fine if you need me to give you and Jack some space to settle but please please don’t do this, don’t do what you always do when your in pain don’t push me away we don’t have to end this, us, after how hard we-“

”but we do don’t you see? Haley-“

the dam shatters to a million pieces but he keeps going “While Haley and jack- my son! Were in witness protection , while Foyet was hunting them like dogs, you and I were” his sobs began to break through and it was like time stopped for you as you felt every brick of the wall he tore down, slowly build back up. You say nothing as he continues “I just can’t…I don’t know if we can go past this cause everytime we’ve kissed since…I just can’t…I think its safer if we just stop now”

”Safer for whom?” You want to cry, to shout, to push him, to hug him but you can’t you just stand there eyes burning looking at the man you love push you away and your entirely powerless. You notice your question took him by surprise

“well…you said safer …safer for whom, you or me? Cause I think you’re scared, and hurt and so you do what you always do when you’re in pain and your scared of losing someone else you love and I think that’s really why your saying this”

don’t cry is all you can think as as Hotch cries. You realize you’ve never really seen him cry like this and you also realize . He is already going through hell, if this is what he wants you can’t make it harder on him especially not now.

“No I’m saying this because it’s the truth. Right now I need to focus on Jack we are done…I’m sorry y/n I really really am…tell me what I can do-“

“nothing-“

”wh-what?”

”there is nothing you can do…you clearly Made your choice. I wont beg, and I wont make this harder for you right now you need to take care of yourself and Jack …it’s fine I understand . It was nice while it lasted and hopefully we can still be friends especially since we work together -“

“of course but y/n-“

he tries to grab your hand but its too late you are already walking away with a text from Morgan

Derek: we got another case :(

“its fine Hotchner….no worries I get it goodbye” no more calling him Aaron…Aaron was for a different time a happier time so you leave making sure not to look back or else he’d see the tears streaming down your face and your body almost shut down….as you walk away from your dream and build back those brick walls this time with iron steel

…

back to present 1 year later

”remind me again why we can’t make paperwork illegal?”

You sigh placing another file on the mountain on your desk, leaning back on your chair you allow yourself a glance at Hotch. Since the breakup you have kept your distance but he always made it so hard. After a few months he started having you drive in the the same car again, teaming up more often and you always made sure to act like you didn’t care.

“I know what you mean pretty girl Damn, my hand is about become a permanent claw if only SOMEONE would take us out of our misery and can read all this in five minutes…what do you say pretty boy?”

you and Morgan both look at Reid with pleading eyes, you’re practically pouting and without even looking up from his page Reid shakes his head smiling “not a chance”

“ughhhhh” you and Derek both groan in unison

“I think that’s Spence”s way of saying ‘how can you do your job properly without doing the paper work or the statistics on how we can we improve our speed reading by doing more paperwork-“

“actually statistically the average person learns their reading timing by the age of 15 although with practice you can improve your timing by practice but its best to practice before the age of 40 or else it becomes far more difficult. So Technincally the human mind can learn to read 4.5 seconds faster the more you train it to skim whilst still retaining the information-“

“Spence Spence….JJ was just being sarcastic hun” you pat him on the shoulder “bless my wee lamb” (every time you call him that he blushes how could you resist) “ohhhh” he mearly nods and continues to read as you all laugh before continuing your own work. When you see Pen coming out of Hotch’s office…”we have a case my lovelies…off to the round table my knights of shining armour…or leather for my handsome man and pretty girl Morgan and y/n”

you and Morgan high five in mini celebration “saved by the bell!”

“So you are all heading to Dallas Texas home of hot cowboys, horses annnnd creepy serial killers apparently…this is Victoria Baird a 23 year old sophomore in college, last night she was taken from her car after a frat party….”

“Any idea if she was on anything?”

”not according to her friends apparently she rarely drinks and last night she was the appointed designated driver-“ before you could ask anything further you notice Pens face fall further “alas my beautiful family there’s more and the real reason Dallas PD invited us….this is Patty Sybil, Cherry Smith, Liz Barton, in the past three weeks each were grabbed on a Friday and found the next Friday, ME says they were dead less then an hour before they were found so they were killed that day.”

“One a week that’s a short cooling off period, all brunettes, short hair, brown to hazel eyes, he definitely has a type these girls look like they could be sisters-“ you notice Hotch’s eyes never leaving you…maybe he notices what you unfortunately already picked up on…these girls looked a hell of lot like you….you remember comforting JJ a lot when the cases had to do with young blond women around her age and looked like her….it was tough…and now you understand even more how it can make you feel when the victimology hits too close to home…its a haunting feeling but you shake is off reminding yourself this is about them and finding the son of a bitch hurting these innocent girls all because they wanted to party…these girls had a right to feel safe no matter what they were doing. And its about finding Victoria-

“if we’re right Victoria Baird only has till Friday to live… wheels up in 20” Hotch is the first to grab his go bags and leave. You, Reid and JJ agree to get the coffee on your way promising Em to pick up her caramel Machiatto with soy.

…..

On the Plane you take your usual corner seat legs up leaning against the wall. Missing the days when you always sat by Hotch, secretly getting a hand grab or thigh grab when no one was watching but you liked your corner, your corner was safe, your corner was farthest away from Hotch but still part of the conversation. You try to make notes in the file as you notice a pattern.

“Hey Pen?”

“Yes beautiful girl?”

“You said that Victoria was the DD and apparently Cherry Smith was partying with her friends but she was 4 years sober and apparently didn’t break it…what was Liz Bartons drinking habit? Especially the night she was taken?” Everyone looks down except Hotch whose eyes remain on you hanging on your every word. “thaaaat is a good question….acording to her friends she wasn’t much of a drinker and…” Garcia’s eyes widen, you were right “she was the DD the night she was taken”

“THATS another connection our unsub likes the responsible type but why? I mean it would be a lot easier to take someone when their inhibitions are lowered by alcohol, not that I’m victim blaming ever…person has every right to go enjoy themselves and be safe doing it but yet the unsub takes those whose alert is probably at the highest..”

“why do you say that?” Reid gives you your coffee and sits besides you as you share your blanket

“when you’re a girl…and with your girlfriends you know the risks…all girls do and when your the DD there is an unspoken responsibility to keep tabs on everyone to keep your girls safe and-“

For a moment you picture yourself in the bar as the unsub, who and what would you look for? How to catch her off guard. Your brain is going faster then you realize until you hear Hotch’s voice bring you back to reality as he seems to read your mind, he always does.

“Which makes her the perfect target, she’s so focused on everyone else’s safety she doesn’t pay attention to the man that’s focused on her” you nod your head taking a moment longer to keep eye contact with Hotch so you quickly look away clearing your suddenly dry throat.

“Exactly! Plus her other friends were intoxicated so none of them are paying much attention to the perv in the corner”

you find yourself able to sit a bit taller and you try not to smile but you always feel this way when you crack something new in the case, a small insurance that you belong in this team. But your smile fades as you notice Hotch looking at you even while Rossi’s talking and you can’t read his eyes but you swear there’s a hint of a smile in his face, pride? No that can’t be it you think looking away and staying relatively quite the rest of the flight only talking to Spencer who’s feet are now up as you both share the blanket comfortably and he rests his hand casually on your shin that’s by him covered up. Hotche’s eyes darken as he notices the level of casual touch between you two. The moment you landed in Dallas it was non stop. Hotch tried to pair you off with him when “actually is it ok if y\n comes with me? I think she could give more insight plus she’s the youngest and college students would be more likely to open up to her-“

“plus my wee lamb needs a wing woman with all them college girls” you hug Reid and kiss his cheek teasingly as he fake pushes you away but you notice Reid’s blush and Hotch stares daggers in your directions but he gave in “fine- Reid and y/n you two go to the college and the frat house Victoria was last seen in, JJ you’re with me to coordinate with local law enforcement” and you all part says in your respective SUVs “don’t worry wee lamb you can be passenger princess” you wink at Reid and he shakes his head and laughs “gee thanks”…..

“so do you remember if anyone was paying particular attention to Victoria? Anyone come up to her?” Reid begins to ask questions to the victims friend Lindsey as you look outside of the frat house, no signs of a struggle. “No-no I don’t know there was a few guys, but everyone loved Vickie and she’s so pretty-“

you sense a tinge of jealousy at those final words as she looked off when she spoke. You and Reid gave knowing looks, you’d discuss that later. “Did she reject anyone? Any of them take it hard?” You ask stepping closer. Lindsey shakes her head “I don’t think so, it was just a fun party everyone having a good time” you could tell she was holding something back. You push further. “Come on Lindsey…I need you to think, you said a few guys hit on her? So she must have rejected at least one of ‘em at least right? Think”

“okay yea…yea one of the guys struck out with Vic, he was this shorter white guy, he kept trying but Vic just wasn’t into it, he throw a glass on the ground, so a couple of the guys kicked him out”

Reid adds on to the questioning “do you remember anything else about the guy? Hair colour maybe? Eyes, anything distinctive?” “yea blond I think but the lights were crazy that night, colourful, and music was loud bumpin-“

Reid looks at you for translation and you laugh lightly

“she means the music was good ya nerd”

you nudge him, loving his innocence even when he’s supposed to be the older one…

the rest of the day went the same way, two more mentions of the supposed “short blonde white dude” but with no other descriptions or leads, Hotch called it a night. As you step up to the front desk of the hotel a feeling of Deja vu washed over you when the women says “sorry agents we’re almost entirely full a couple conferences in the city we only have four rooms available, two king, two double twin”

Before anyone could say anything Rossi takes one of the kings for himself “sorry kids I am not sharing a room again too old and consider this pay back for the two bottles of hundred dollar scotch you party animals drank at my house.” Everyone rolled their eyes but you couldn’t argue as he was already walking to the elevator waving while it closed, Emily and JJ paired off which left you with Morgan, Reid ….and Hotch. Whatever happens you knew you couldn’t pair off with Hotch it would be too hard, too painful. Your head spiralled, Hotch was clearly looking at you ready to speak when Reid saves the day and you could just kiss him for it “hey y/n wanna room? We can watch that documentary on Arthurian history we talked about?” You can’t help but smile widely loving your bestie more and more. “hell yea we can, but we are gonna have to get some chips, can’t have a documentary night without proper snack action, we’ll take the king” you wink at Reid and he shakes his head as you notice Hotch staring at you with a shocked expression at your ease to share a bed with your bestie. But Reid breaks the tension. “Deal ill go get them and meet you upstairs”

”sounds gucci handsome I’ll take your bag just get my chips.” You grab Reids go bag and you nudge Morgan as you notice him laughing “y’all really are nerds…I mean I expected that from pretty boy but you too y/n?”

“Hey! I’m a nerd and proud you’re just jelly cause you aren’t part of the King Arthur legends snack party” you stick your tongue out and tease morgan more as Hotch hands him the room key pretending to ignore the conversation but you could tell he’s hanging on every word. You all go into the elevator and you put your bag and Reid’s bag down giving your exhausted arms a break. When the elevator door opens on your teams floor before you can react Hotch grabs your bag silently, you don’t argue you just grab Reids bag and head to your door, before Morgan steps into his own room he makes sure to wink at you “hey you and pretty boy better not get too crazy.” “no promises” you wink back sticking your tongue out as you go into your own hotel room followed closely by Hotch so close you feel yourself barely able to breath. As you get into the room you gently put Reid’s bag down on the rather smaller looking king size bed then as you turn around you notice Hotch putting your bag down on the bench close to the door, staring at the bed, looking none too happy. The silence deafening so you try to break it as casually as possible “welllp thanks Hotch!”

“What’s going on between you and Reid?”

and that hit of Deja vu strikes again for the second time today remembering him asking a similar question regarding Morgan. Yet you’re still caught by surprise by the question all the same. “I’m sorry?” His face remains at his neutral seriousness but his jaw is clenching, he does that when he’s proper angry. “are you and agent Reid dating yes or no?” You start to feel anger sizzling at his authoritative, ownership tone. As if he has some right to know everything about your sex or relationship life. This time for some reason you wanna see where this goes so you play with him. “maybe….its not really your concern Hotchner” it was his turn to act surprised. “excuse me? It’s my business as your boss-“

you feel your emotions starting to bubble to the surface and shockingly it’s followed by your eyes filling with tears

“oh for fuvk sakes Hotch don’t give me that Bull! Garcia and Kevin dated and it was fine. YOU AND I (the tears start to fall) and worked and did our job fine so don’t act like this is work related cause that’s bullshit Aaron Hotchner….you’re jealous and THATS the real reason and we both know it. Why can’t you just admit it!?” You feel your face burning, your whole body shakes and you feel, whatever was keeping you together, break, and you notice his fist clenching, his eyes darken and without half a second passing his hand is grabbing your waist and his lips crash into yours. In that moment you feel like you’re coming home. Your hands run through his hair your other hand grabbing his tie but as you feel his hand run under your shirt carressing your bare skin, something in you pushes him away, “no no I can’t do this-“ you take a step back

“y/n? What’s wrong?” His face flushed yet filled with concern and the dam breaks, the rope snaps. Your breath still heavy but you continue “we can’t do this…fuck why Hotch? Why? First you break up with me, you broke me! And now what ? You wanna fuck me just cause you see me with someone else on the team?” He shakes his head profusely “no-no no sweet-“

”don’t call me that! You lost the that right when you ended it…”

You notice the hurt in his eyes but you can’t you just can’t, he broke you last time. Hotch takes a deep breath

“okay…I apologize, but that’s not it y/n I-“

”Then what? Huh!?cause we both know-its only been a year, we fuck, I let you back in, then something makes you feel guilty and you drop me again….I can’t handle it I already lost you once….if I lose you again it would kill me, and this time I wouldn’t recover just-“ you feel your eyes burn with your pain “just get out Hotch, we’ll forget about the whole thing just go! Please!” Before he could protest you started to cry completely and your face spilt with your pain, apparently Hotch could see that because he didn’t argue, he stood up straight and walked out closing the door gently as you fall onto the bed, face in your hands trying to hide your hurt from the empty room as you feel yourself break all over again but you swore this time….you weren’t going to let him hurt you again….

to be continued

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