#so naturally I'm late to my break but fuck y'all I AM gonna take my entire break

[an-aura-about-you]

sometimes the best thing about a day of work is that it's over.

[peregrineggsandham]

Been playing Dark Souls I for the first time, blind. It's my first-ever Soulsborne game but after really enjoying other games that have been compared to Dark Souls for a variety of reasons (encouraging exploration, interconnected world, lore/plot that is drip-fed through sparse dialogue and item descriptions, combat that is challenging but fundamentally fair, environmental storytelling, themes of light/dark not necessarily corresponding one-to-one with good/evil, "dark fantasy" setting in general, secrets upon secrets upon secrets) I decided to give it a shot.

Have been completely blind so please no spoilers, even though this game is now 12 years old. All I know about the lore is... uh... Aviators music. Really enjoying having context for songs I've loved for years. Fading Light really hits now, it's awesome.

Thoughts below.

[Edit: an absolute shit-ton of thoughts below, sorry y'all, it just kept going.]

...I am loving this game, y'all. I understand why it's a classic and damn, I think I'm gonna end up playing through the whole series. Eventually. Too bad Bloodborne doesn't have a PC port, because I hear it has a more explicitly Lovecraftian vibe and I am here for that aesthetic.

...Will say that this is entirely blind save for one googling which amounted to "hey I consistently suck at bosses that require me to split my focus because I have a hard time tracking moving things on a screen, but... Ornstein and Smough are a pain in the ass for everyone, right? right? they are exactly the kind of boss I tend to be very bad at but it isn't just me right??"

(very glad to see the answer was yes, finally gave in and summoned another player for help. Thank you Percy, whoever you are. I think I could beat them solo, I was getting either of them in their giant forms to about half-health pretty consistently, but by then it had been far, far too many hours and I have real-world things to do, I really couldn't spare the time to keep trying. for now. maybe later.)

(felt kinda bad about it for a bit but then with the Lordvessel in hand holy fuck I have fast travel now and it feels amazing I went into the magma-y depths and took care of the... whats-his-name, the guy who acted just like the Stray Demon. Having beat the Stray Demon, it only took a couple tries, and then I one-shot the one after it, whom I think was called the Centipede Demon but whom I have dubbed Crawly.)

Currently throwing myself at the Bed of Chaos, who feels more "environmental hazard" than "boss" but after the rest of the... gauntlet?... kind of a nice break.

(Admittedly I realized late that it was a gauntlet - I beat Ceaseless Discharge right after Quelaag and then learned there was nowhere to go afterwards, whoops.)

Lore Musings:

(Look I know I'm probably super off - this game is very old and has sequels and I'm sure people have spent literal months of their lives piecing it all together, and believe you me I will be watching lore videos... after I have finished the game. By which I here mean "gotten all achievements". Which, google tells me [I like to check these things] will take three playthroughs. So it'll be a while, and it's fun to piece things together on my own! Feel free to hint cheekily at things that are right and wrong here but please don't spoil.)

I've been told I am to succeed Lord Gwyn and take his place to "link the first flame" and prolong the Age of Fire. Mm. Right. So. That seems lovely. Really, honestly, lovely - the world is beautiful. Worth keeping it going, I think.

(I had an initial theory that, having kinda passed its natural endpoint, the whole world was basically "undead" - lumbering on after it was supposed to have ended. So that prolonging it would effectively curse everyone to eventually go Hollow. But it sounds like "linking"/succeeding Gwyn would actually return things to how they were a millennia ago and solve this whole undead problem.)

......However. Two issues there.

First Issue: One of my favorite games of all time is Hollow Knight, which I've heard is rather DS-inspired. I definitely see how. Not just the metroidvania design and emphasis on challenging bosses and drip-fed lore, but themes. Light and dark. A sacrifice to keep something at bay, who is failing in their duty, who needs to be replaced. Now, I'm not going to rely on a completely different game to inform my understanding of this one's lore, but...

... But... well, this isn't a permanent solution, is it? Something like a thousand years ago, as I understand it so far, shit went down. People started becoming undead, Gwyn went off to Do Something About It. (Also the Witch of Izalith fell to Chaos around that time? Will get there.) Havel went Hollow and was locked in his tower, presumably by Gwyn (which was my original clue that Gwyn/the Lords were still alive after their whole Lords vs. Dragons showdown, since it meant Gwyn had to still have been around when the zombie problem began - love this piecemeal lore).

Gwyn "linked the flame" (the First Flame? what did he link it to? current bet is the Shrine, since that is what it is named - maybe that has something to do with why its Firekeeper, of all of them, seems to have some terrible penance she is performing). Now it's my turn? But Gwyn was a Lord (whatever that means? current guess is Lord=God but we've heard of more gods than just the four, so honestly I'm gonna base my Lord=God assumption entirely on what happens when I collect a Lord's soul and whether they look like the other unique souls in my inventory, since that would imply they're a similar kind of soul).

I am not a Lord. I'm just some dude. a flawed vessel, if you will.

Meaning that eventually - and probably less than 1000 years from now, someone is going to have to succeed me. (Was Gwyn even the first?)

How far will this go? How long can this last?

We're prolonging the inevitable.

(Also what does "linking the fire" entail and is this a Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas situation.)

Now, you could easily frame "prolonging the inevitable" as either a good or bad thing.

(1) Theme of persistence and hope: Even if the end is inevitable, isn't it worth fighting to drive it back as long as possible? Just because everything ends doesn't mean we shouldn't give up and wait for it to happen. We must fight to keep the fire lit, as long as we can.

(2) Theme of acceptance and change: Yes, everything ends and the end is inevitable - fighting that will only lead to despair. Ends are not bad, change is not bad, and letting change occur is not giving up - it is only witnessing the start of a new age. Even if we can bring it back to its former glory in some day, is the world not, by this point, undead?

Is that a bad thing to be?

Even if it isn't, is there new life that we are preventing from existing?

Now of course you can argue that there is not new life! What is to come is darkness! It is devouring, consumption, end, ash, blindness! (Funny, though, isn't it how all of those things can come also from wildfires.) Dark is bad. Obviously. Of course we don't want the end to come, when all it will bring is despair.

But then, that's the Second Issue:

"Falling to dark", the end of the age of fire, it's all presented as quite horrible. Fair enough! It does, indeed, seem to be! Certainly darkness is a corrupting force - Gwyn's soul (?) split into four, Four Kings, falling to dark - don't know what that's about yet, I imagine I have to find some way to drain New Londo to find out.

Point is, darkness is bad! Very bad! Everyone is quite insistent upon this! Dark=bad. Falling to it = bad.

....

........Except I'm in Lost Izalith right now and it's. uh.

not gonna lie, it's pretty bad here.

and it's very, very bright.

Here, in this lava-lit city, where Solaire himself found a "sun" so blindingly beautiful he lost himself to it. Here, where the witches who had mastered fire - mastered light - fell just as hard.

Light, it seems, is just as corrupting a force.

"Chaos" is more confusing - I think it's effectively the primordial base from which light and dark arise, aka "Disparity", will have to watch the opening cutscene for a third time. But that doesn't seem quite right since seems to be more light-aligned, what with the chaos fire pyromancies and seeing how the witch and her daughters were corrupted by chaos. not dark. they did not fall to dark.

Again, haven't figured out what's going on with the Kings yet, but...

...I am not convinced that dark is evil.

And I'm not convinced that clinging to light is the right thing to do.

Fantasy likes to paint darkness as stagnation and death, light as life and change.

But as I understand it, both light and dark arose from Disparity, which had something to do with the First Flame. They were created at the same time. There is no such thing as light without a corresponding concept of darkness. They are equals.

Stagnation, emptiness, those aren't characteristics of darkness, they're characteristics of the ancient world, the one the dragons ruled/existed in. Dragons which might (?) have been made of stone, the #1 metaphor for something firm and unchanging and eternal (geologists everywhere just rolled their eyes). Eternity, immortality, that predates light and dark.

The concept of decay and death requires a concept of life, of change. A world of dark is not a world without change. Things still died in the Age of Fire; it is not eternal. (that's rather the whole "problem", actually). Hell, Nito is apparently "first of the dead" and he was born of flame like the other Lords as per opening cinematic. Things will, presumably, still live in some future Age of Darkness.

...the entire point of disparity, of fire, was the introduction of the possibility of change.

........so it kind of feels that the perpetuation of this world, a world of Fire Unchanging, would be just... a shallow and ill-fitting recreation of How It Used To Be during the age before disparity came to be.

Like. Look. Uninformed blind-playthrough timeline here: There was Stagnation, all stone and dragons. Then, Disparity was born, Change, and with it Light and Dark. The Souls of Lords were found, and used Light to fight against Stagnation. (I feel like Dark would have worked just as well.) They built a world of Light.

Now everyone is upset that Change is happening? My dudes you built this place out of one half of Change incarnate. It does that! It's almost as if you didn't really want Change, you just wanted a new world of Stagnation in which you ruled as gods.

A new eternal kingdom, made of fire instead of stone.

But fire isn't stone. Fires go out, eventually. And are rekindled.

....Funny, it's almost like a classic dark-light-dark-light cycle. The story is so close to "there was dark, then light, now dark is coming again and everyone fond of light is trying to stop it".

But it's not.

Because there hasn't been dark - at least, not a full-on Age of it. I think. I dunno, there are two more games and I haven't finished this one yet but...

...I suspect that that kind of cycle is exactly what would happen if this age ended! Dark is born of disparity, too! It'd end eventually, and a new Age of Fire would be born, and so on, ad infinitum, until even change itself changes and the cycle is broken, because an infinite cycle is really just its own kind of stagnation and one day someone will have to make that choice.

But that's not this story. This cycle hasn't even started, because fire is clung to so tightly.

Maybe that's not a bad thing. Again, infinite cycles, not great, but... more natural, certainly. And if dark is destruction without rebirth, decay without fertilization of new soil, despair and suffering without relief, then, well, I can't say I disagree.

...............but is it though? all I have been told of it comes from its kings and those who followed them. maybe they are corrupt and unwilling to give up their power. or maybe, more likely, they are only afraid of the dark.

....We are afraid of the dark when we do not know what lurks in it. Souls of Lords, found in the flame - they're children of light, then? What do I know so far, that is born from the dark? Anything?

........yeah I have no idea if I am reading really really really too far into this but from what I know of games that take inspiration from this and from what osmosis of its Themes has entered pop culture I really don't think I am. (and hell, even if I am, it's super fun)

I don't know if I'm going to have the choice to succeed Gwyn or not but I have a sneaking suspicion that the answer is yes given that the achievements list gives two endings named "To Link the Fire" and "The Dark Lord" (the latter of which... uh... vaguely ominous)

also side note what the fuck is humanity

and also talking about Lords why has no one mentioned the furtive pygmy since the opening cutscene. "so easily forgotten indeed"

Four souls for the Lordvessel: Nito, the Witch, Gwyn in four pieces via the Kings…. and Seath? The dragon? Not the pygmy. What happened to the pygmy.

[rewatched cutscene] "then from the Dark, they came" are those humans. those look like humans.

something is very weird here.

WAIT FUCK corollary to 49

"Then from the Dark, they came" humans. found lords in the flame. are humans are born of dark like lords are of light?

.....well what the fuck does that mean?

if lords=gods, are humans "dark" things that have been ruled by light for millennia? i mean, that's not so bad, light is lovely, big fan of fire, I am a bona fide swamp-dwelling pyromancer fire is my jam 10/10 would solve all my problems with arson wait are we the fucking "dark souls"

I mean we exist during this Age of Fire, but we're also turning undead. A problem the gods don't (?) seem to be having.

…We are afraid of the dark when we do not know what lurks in it.

What if we are what lurks in it?

...........alright now I'm reading too much into this. But I LOVE this kind of lore where things all just feel… kind of off? As if there is some big picture you can't -quite- see.

I am under no illusion these questions'll be answered perfectly in-game, and I'm well aware there are 12 years of figuring all this out for me to catch up on! But damn if it isn't fun to specul-

THE HUMANITY ITEM. IS A FUCKING. BOSS SOUL ITEM. IN INVERTED COLORS.

.........

Gripes:

...not many. But the one thing. My nemesis. In this game. Is the god-damned keyboard menu controls. Look, I get that this was made for controller! I do! But I do not own one! Navigating the weapon/item selection is one thing, I'm [checks steam] 84.7 hours in [...oh god, really?? holy fuck. dear lord.] and have finally gotten a handle on that!

But the button to unequip an item in the equipment screen is the same as the button to switch to inspection in the... item screen. whatever you call it. and I suspect this would actually be the same for controller.

How many times have I unequipped something when I meant to look at it? many. 84.7 hour in, how often do I do this still? usually.

...also I only found that bonfire in Sen's Fortress via combination of friendly player message and sheer dumb luck holy crap that would have been a nightmare y'all didn't need to make them that hidden.

......also it'd be very nice if NPCs had some sort of indicator of their name, or mentioned it more than once. I remember Solaire (...RIP, poor dude found his new sun, I carry his talisman in solidarity) and Quelana (because it's so close to Quelaag) and Eingyi (he's mentioned in an item description and the whole... egg... thing haunted me for ages before I met him) and Sif (because why would you make me kill a good pup, guard dog wolf with sword, best friend, she [? female name in Norse myth, not sure if character is also female] was protecting her master's damned grave she did not deserve this) and for some reason Laurentius (dunno why that one stuck) but everyone else gets monikers. Onionman. Bird Friend. Sad Friend. Blacksmith. Bigger Blacksmith. Deader Blacksmith. Sadder Blacksmith. Cheshire Cat Lady.

(Frampt is remembered now because Gwynevere says his name but in my heart he is still Mr. Teeth.)

..........yeah that's all I got, honestly, I have loved everything else about this game.

WAIT NO

ONE MORE THING THAT I REALLY HATE

so there are all these player messages before female characters with no tops reading "great chest ahead"

ha ha very amusing yes chuckle chuckle

BUT

you know who has a very well-defined chest on full display right there in your face and for whom I have never seen a single "great chest ahead" message?

SMOUGH.

i realize that he is wearing armor but i have no reason to believe it isn't form-fitting and true-to-life. dude may as well be topless. there is no smough boobs appreciation and i will not stand for it.

To conclude, I present two pieces of evidence:

"Since his sores were inflamed by lava from birth, his witch sisters gave him this special ring." - Orange Charred Ring item description

"...the Witch of Izalith and her Daughters of Chaos..." - opening cinematic

Diversity win! Ceaseless Discharge is trans.

[angryhausfrau-writes]

Your Friends Were All Standing Around Looking At Your Cock The Other Dayee...

Interior of the farm house. WAYNE, KATY, and SQUIRRELLY DAN stand around the table, looking at something.

KATY: It's a beautiful cock.

WAYNE: Oh, it's a gorgeous cock.

DAN, shifting from foot to foot, uncomfortably: Now I'ms nots denyings that it's a mightys fines cocks. I just thinks its mights not bes appropriates to have sets outs on the supper tables is all.

KATY: Oh Dan, there's been far worse things than a cock on this table.

WAYNE growls: Better not have been them hockey nutsacks.

KATY: I'm a big girl, Wayne. None of your business what nutsacks I'm spending time with.

WAYNE, begrudgingly: True.

DAN: You knows whats you're afters, miss Katys, and that's what I appreciates about you.

KATY, flirtatiously: Oh, is that what you appreciate about me?

WAYNE: Take about ten, twenty percent off her over there Squirrelly Dan.

DAN, looking at the table: Oh hey look. A cock. What is sets most unhygenicallys on the table we eats off ofs.

KATY: Jesus Dan. Hop off our cocks.

WAYNE: Besides, you're a bigger degen than Dary if you eat directly off the table.

DAN: Where is Darys anyways? Ain't like him to miss such a magnificents cocks.

DARY enters the KITCHEN: Sorry I'm late. Spent all morning wrangling my cock into its cage.

DAN, sympathetically: Its was giving yous some troubles thens?

DARY: Kept making itself all big and plumped up. Couldn't get it to fit in the cage. Ended up having to really wrassle with it for a good long while.

KATY: Could say you had to take your cock firmly in hand there, Dary?

WAYNE: Pert near had to choke that chicken, I'd imagine.

DARY: Pert near.

DAN: But yous gots it settled downs and ins its cage?

DARY nods and hefts a rooster in a wire cage into frame: Yup. Tuckered it out eventually. Now it's placid as anything.

WAYNE: Now that's a handsome cock, Dary. A right handsome cock.

DARY, bashful: Aw, it ain't nothing special. Not like yours, Wayne.

WAYNE SHIFTS OUT OF THE WAY. PAN TO ROOSTER ON THE TABLE.

DARY:  Now that's a real handsome cock, and well behaved to boot.

WAYNE: Ok, Dary. Dary, ok. Ok, Dary. Dary, ok. Youwannaknowwhat? Here's the scoop and I'm gonna tell ya. I look at your cock and I think, well, I think: good for you buddy. Just like, good for you bud. Like I'm real proud of ya, Dary.

DAN: It's a mightys fines cocks, Dary. Yous gots every rights to be prouds.

KATY: Nothing wrong with a spirited cock, anyways.

DARY, bashful: Still reckon yours'll be the cock to beat down the Ag Festival, Wayne.

WAYNE: Oh it's a handsome cock all right.

KATY: A beautiful cock.

WAYNE: Oh it's a gorgeous cock.

DARY: Not to be pulling your own horn over there.

DAN: Oh yous shoulds nevers do thats. Leastwise nots ins mixed companies.

KATY: Says you.

WAYNE, abrupt: No hard feelings Dary. Regardless of who beats whose cock.

DARY: No hard feelings.

WAYNE holds his hand straight out for DARY to shake: Then may the man with the best cock win.

LETTERKENNY TITLE BUT THERE IS A ROOSTER INSTEAD OF A DOG.

ESTABLISHING SHOTS OF A FAIRGROUD.

EXTERIOR SHOT OF THE AG BUILDING.

INTERIOR SHOT OF THE AG BUILDING. WAYNE, KATY, DARY, and SQUIRRELLY DAN are standing around a table with ROOSTERS in cages on it. The DYCKS and the HOCKEY PLAYERS are also there, standing further down the room.

GLEN enters with a clipboard, officiators badge: Wayne! How're you now?

WAYNE: Good'nyou?

GLEN: Oh, I'm just dripping with excitement to be judging all y'alls cocks. Especially yours Wayne.

WAYNE squints into the distance.

DAN: You're judgings the competitions?

GLEN: Indeed I am, Daniel. Although admittedly I misunderstood the nature of the event when I first volunteered to judge. But! I have plenty of experience judging cocks from my years on the family poultry farm. The cocks I raised as a youth...

WAYNE: Pitter patter.

GLEN: Well, fine. If you don't appreciate hearing about my cock judging credentials.

DARY, snickering: Pretty sure pert near everyone in town knows 'bout those.

GLEN: True but uncalled for, Daryl!

NOAH DYCK, joining the hicks: I for one think it is admirable that Preacher Glen has experience handling and judging cocks. And from his boyhood, once.

WAYNE: Noah.

NOAH: Wayne.

DARY: Mr. Dyck.

NOAH: Daryl.

DAN: Noahs Dycks.

NOAH: Daniel. A pity Lovina Dyck could not make it to the cock judging. I'm certain she would have had she known you were showing your cock. For is it not true, mine wife, that the love tree often bears fruit when a young man parades his cock before his sweetheart, once?

ANITA approaches: What nonsense are you speaking now, Noah?

NOAH: Simply that a Dyck chooses a lifemate in part by how well she-

KATY: Or he.

DAN: Ors theys.

NOAH: -raises a cock. Did not you impress me with your cock raising skills when first we were courting?

ANITA, blushing: You say too much, husband.

NOAH: And did not you help raise this cock which I am showing proudly this day, once? Why without mine Anita Dyck's loving and tender hand, this cock would be but small and limp and lifeless.

ANITA: Us Snatches have always had a way with cocks, as well you know.

NOAH: A good thing too. Us Dycks require a skilled hand with raising our cocks. Lovina will be delighted to know you've raised such a magnificent cock as are being shown here this day. Perhaps I shall send one of my young sons to go fetch her, once. So that she might see your cock.

DAN, hurriedly: Oh nos, I'm nots showings anybodys anythings. That's all Waynes and Darys.

GLEN: Daryl! I didn't realize you were showing your cock today too. Oh, this is so exciting! Me, in the middle of a Daryl/Wayne cock sandwich.

WAYNE growls.

GLEN: Although I don't know how I'm supposed to choose between the two of your cocks. I think it will take some lengthy deliberation.

KATY: This is already taking fucking forever, I'm going to go sit down.

DAN: I'll join yous, miss Katys.

KATY as they leave: Still not over Lovina Dyck, eh?

DAN: I don'ts knows that I'll evers stop thinkings abouts Lovinas Dycks, miss Katys. Ands that's a facts.

KATY and SQUIRRELLY DAN exit.

DARY (aside): Katy's right. This is taking fucking forever.

WAYNE to GLEN: I say again. Pitter. Patter.

GLEN whines.

WAYNE: If a man should be one thing, he should be efficient.

GLEN: Fine. Everyone here? Then lets get y'all registered. What's your cocks' names? I'm sure you've come up with some good ones.

WAYNE: Plenty of good names for cocks.

DARY: Oh, you can have a lot of fun naming cocks.

WAYNE: I'm surprised we're not naming cocks right now.

DARY: Could name one after the fictional prizefighter Cocky Balboa.

WAYNE: Or the legendary real life comedian Chris Cock.

DARY: There's always actor and former wrassler Dwayne the Cock Johnson.

GLEN: Ooh, that's a two-for-one special right there.

WAYNE: Or jazz musician John Cocktrain.

DARY: I like that one.

WAYNE: Not too obscure?

DARY: Nah, it's a gooder. Cultured - but not trying too hard.

GLEN: All right, all right. So what are your cocks' names?

DARY: Cock.

GLEN: Come again? And please note, I'm saying that in a completely different context to the one I usually use.

DARY: My cock's called cock. I din't name the damn thing. I know what it looks like.

WAYNE: Well I should hope so.

DARY: And I only got the one. Not liable to mix it up with someone else's cock.

GLEN: Ok. Fine, Dary. Ruin all my fun. TURNS TO WAYNE. What about you, Wayne? What's the big fella called?

WAYNE: Only nutsacks name their cocks.

RILEY breaking into the group around GLEN: We're all saying our cock's names, boys?

JONESY: Just naming silly cock over here, boys?

RILEY: Just christening silly amounts of cock over here, boys?

WAYNE: Again, only nutsacks name their cocks.

GLEN: Yes, boys. Everyone who's entering the cock judging needs to tell me their cock's name so I can make sure to call out the right name during the handling. It's just so embarrassing to call the cock in your hands by the wrong name...

RILEY: We've got a cock to register for judging, boys.

JONESY: Well, really it's Riley's cock we're entering. And it's a real beauty, buddy.

RILEY: Hey, buddy. It's as much your cock as mine. It is a real beauty though buddy.

JONESY: Just a real beauty of a cock here, boys.

RILEY: Half clapper top cheddar.

JONESY: Guaranteed W. Ferda!

RILEY: Ferda!

GLEN: Now boys, we're talking about roosters here, not actual cocks. Don't feel bad - I too was confused at first. So, while I'm sure Riley's cock is just delightful...

JONESY: It is. He's a registered beautician, buddy.

RILEY: Thanks buddy.

GLEN: Yes. But I just want to stress again – this is the animal we're talking about here.

RILEY: Yeah, boys. Cocks.

JONESY holds up a rooster in a cage: And this is our cock:

RILEY: Four time Stanley Cup winner.

JONESY: Four time Vezina Trophy winner.

RILEY: Hockey hall-of-famer.

JONESY: Goaltender extraordinaire.

RILEY: Terry Sawcock. Ferda!

JONESY: Ferda!

DARY (aside): Kinda surprised they have a whole cock between 'em.

WAYNE: Ain't surprised they share it though, fuck.

DARY: Same way they share a set of testicles. And maybe a tongue.

GLEN: Ooh, don't tempt me Daryl.

WAYNE (turns to RILEY and JONESY): Now where in the hell did yous two nutsacks get a cock from anyways? You better not've stolen it right out from under some poor unsuspecting farmer's nose.

RILEY: We bought it down at the feed store boys.

JONESY: Heard about people keeping chickens as pets boys.

RILEY: How they're so cute and cuddly. Plus free eggs boys.

JONESY: Need plenty of protein to keep up with the gains boys.

RILEY and JONESY flex. GLEN watches avidly. WAYNE is unimpressed.

RILEY: Accidentally bought a rooster though buddy.

JONESY (sadly): Can't get eggs from a rooster buddy.

RILEY: Still a good pet though buddy.

JONESY: Yeah, just really loves to cuddle with us buddy.

RILEY: Yeah, just really loves to cuddle with us on the sofa buddy.

WAYNE: Shouldn't keep farm animals as pets. Fuck.

DARY: Farm animals belong on a farm. S'why they're called farm animals.

WAYNE: Like. You wouldn't let a sow into you're living room. And you wouldn't let a cow into your living room. So why the fuck are you cuddling up on the couch with a cock?

JONESY: Shouldn't knock it till you've tried it.

DARY: I'll knock you.

GLEN: Boys please. Lets not fight. Not when we're all gathered here today for such a noble purpose as comparing cocks.

ALL: Fine.

GLEN: All righty now, let's see. We've got Daryl's cock: cock. We've got Wayne's cock: only nutsacks name their cocks. Riley and Jonesy's collective cock: Terry Sawcock. What do you call your cock, Noah?

NOAH: While there are a great quantity of cocks at the Dyck farm, this is our most quality.

WAYNE: Quality Dyck if you will.

GLEN: Quality Dyck it is.

DARY: Sure 'nough.

WAYNE: Like you see that cock and you say, that's Quality Dyck all right. And no mistake.

GLEN: Mhm! And I know from Quality Dyck. Now, if that's everyone, we can get on with the judging...

MCMURRY barges in: Wait! (Approaching WAYNE) Wayne. How're'you'now? Good'n'you. Ohnotsobad. Okay! (Turns to the GROUP) I, McMurry, am entering my cock in this little competition. So all you sumbitches can make a hole.

GLEN: Well someone's all riled up! You can go ahead and enter your cock right here, McMurry. No need to shout.

DARY (angry): Yeah, no need to bust our balls.

WAYNE (placating): Go have a dart.

DARY (begrudgingly): Yeah, I'll have a dart.

WAYNE and DARY exit.

FADE TO BLACK.

ESTABLISHING SHOT OF THE AGRICULTURAL FESTIVAL.

ZOOM ON TWO COCK SHAKUR PLAYING FOR A CROWD IN FRONT OF THE AG BUILDING.

PAN OVER KATY AND DAN IN THE AUDIENCE.

ZOOM ON GLEN AS HE ENTERS THE STAGE AT THE FRONT OF THE CROWD.

GLEN: How'reyounow?

AUDIENCE: Good'n'you?

GAIL: All this cock talk's got me wetter than a lighthouse keeper's slicker in a Noreaster, I can tell you that much.

DAN: Gailer!

KATY: First Glen is here judging and now Gail's here.

GAIL approaches KATY and DAN.

DAN: Yeah, Gail. I didn'ts know you were so interesteds in the agriculturals.

GAIL: Less interested in the agriculturals than in seeing some. Good. Hand. Raised. Cock. Specially when I heard Wayne's entered in the cock judging.

DAN to KATY: She knows it's nots actual cocks, rights?

KATY to GAIL: More importantly, is Modean's actually closed?

DAN: Tells me it didn't burns down agains.

KATY: This town needs a fucking bar.

GAIL: Nah, Modean's 3 is still alive and kicking sure as this old goat. But when Glen told me he'd be judging cocks at the agricultural festival I figured the whole fucking town'd be here rather than down Modean's.

DAN: Nots a bad turnsout for Letterkenny's first evers ag festival.

KATY: A great fucking turnout.

GAIL: Plus, I get a chance to see Wayne's cock today – and that's worth a day's profits right there.

KATY: Gross.

GAIL: Not that I've actually lost a day's profits. Bonny's been making the rounds at the Ag festival and apparently, business. Is. Banging.

CUT TO BONNY WEAVING HER WAY THROUGH THE CROWD WITH A TRAY OF SHOT GLASSES AND BEER BOTTLES.

KATY and DAN whistfully, along with CROWD: Bonny McMurry?

GLEN (impatient): Can I have your attention please!

PAN BACK TO GLEN.

GLEN: The event we've all been waiting for – I know I have – the cock judging. Lets meet our contestants!

GLEN gestures to the stage like a game show host: First up is Wayne!

AUDIENCE applauds.

WAYNE enters with his rooster and stands stoically, hands in belt loops.

GLEN examining the rooster: An impressive cock. Sturdy. Well built. And a real big fella. Nearly eight pounds, and pure muscle. Wayne, I think you've got a real champion cock here.

WAYNE nods stoically.

GAIL: And that's not the only cock of his I hear is impressive.

GLEN: Oooh, tell me more.

WAYNE: Glen.

GAIL: That rooster's not the only cock almost eight somethings.

MCMURRY (from backstage): Wait, is that measured over or under the balls.

GAIL: And plenty of stamina to make it through those cold Canadian winter nights. If. You. Know. What. I. Mean.

GLEN: No, please continue in explicit detail.

WAYNE: Glen!

GLEN: Ok, fine. (Gestures WAYNE to move to the rear of the stage.) Moving along, next up is Dary!

AUDIENCE applauds.

GLEN examining the rooster: Oh, you've got a feisty one here, Dary. Plenty of personality! A little smaller than Wayne's but still an excellent cock. And those freckles are just too cute!

DARY: Aw, thanks Glen.

GLEN: And I'd happily take a look at your other cock if you want, Daryl.

DARY: Thanks for the offer Glen, but like I said, I only got the one.

GLEN: Oh never mind.

GLEN waves DARY off the stage.

DARY moves to stand next to WAYNE.

GLEN: Here's our next contestant, Noah Dyck!

AUDIENCE applauds.

GLEN: Now this is something special, y'all. An excellent example of a Canadian heritage breed, known for being an excellent layer and quite robust as well. Yes, I think we can all agree that this is certainly Quality Dyck right here.

NOAH: Thank you Preacher Glen. Such comments mean much coming from such an experienced judge of cocks as yourself.

GLEN: Oh, Noah. You'll make me blush. (GLEN rapidly ushers NOAH to stand next to DARY and WAYNE)  Anywho, our next contestant is Riley and Jonesy!

AUDIENCE applauds with some confusion.

DAN: What, both of thems? Collectivelys?

KATY: It makes sense. They do everything else together.

DAN: Everythings?

GAIL: Ev. Ry. Thing.

DAN: Katy?

KATY: Can confirm.

DAN: Wow. Didn'ts needs to knows thats.

KATY: You did ask.

GAIL: It's not like we gave you a blow. By. Blow account. But if you really want to know...

GLEN: This cock's a little smaller than the ones we've seen previously. Not as much muscle – might want to exercise it a little more, boys. Just really put it through it's paces.

SHORESY: Yeah! Give your balls a tug titfuckers!

RILEY: Fuck you, Shoresy! Where's your cock, if you think you're so good!

SHORESY: Fuck you Riley! If you want to know about my cock, just ask your mom. She saw plenty of it last night. Rode me so hard reverse cowgirl style I thought she was going to snap it off.

JONESY: Fuck you Shoresy!

SHORESY: Don't worry, Jonesy. Your mom was there to kiss it all better.

RILEY and JONESY: Fuck you Shoresy!

GLEN: Well! All audience commentary aside, I think you've got a very shapely cock, Riley. And I think if you put in the time, worked hard and raised it properly, you could have a real champion cock on your hands.

RILEY: Thanks, boys!

JONESY: Yeah, thanks boys!

GLEN: You're welcome. Now go sit down so we can get to our next contestant!

RILEY and JONESY fistbump and move to join the others.

McMURRY pushes forward through the other contestants: Yes, I McMurry am here to have my cock judged in front of all of you. And I'm gonna win this cocksucking cock competition, just you watch.

MRS McMURRY: Knock 'em dead, baby. Love you.

McMURRY: Love you too baby.

GLEN (awkward): Well, this cock's a little on the small side...

KATY: And that's a little bit of an understatement.

JARED KEESO CHARACTER #1: It's fucking tiny, McMurry. I've got a bigger cock hatched out an egg yesterday.

JARED KEESO CHARACTER #2: How'd you get a woman like Mrs. McMurry with a tiny cock like that?

JARED KEESO CHARACTER #1: You're a piece of shit, McMurry.

MRS McMURRY: Don't listen to him. Your cock's perfect, baby.

GLEN: Yes, well. They say it's not size that counts, but in this case – and a few others – that's just not true. Sorry, McMurry. You're out of the competition.

McMURRY: Goldangit all! (Exits STAGE mumbling profanities)

MRS McMURRY rushes after him.

GLEN: Now on to our last competitor! Modean Three's own Bonny McMurry!

AUDIENCE applauds.

DAN: I's hads no ideas she raised cocks.

KATY: I seem to remember her raising your cock pretty frequently there Dan.

DAN: I seems to remembers yous were plentys affected as well, Miss Katy.

KATY: What can I say? I like a woman with a championship cock.

GLEN: And what an excellent cock it is! A little on the slender side, but shapely! And what a lovely temperament. Outgoing without being pushy! Oh, it's just gorgeous!

WAYNE (aside to Dary): Now that's a lovely cock.

DARY: It's a beautiful cock for sure.

WAYNE: Oh it's a gorgeous cock.

GLEN: I think we have a winner folks! Let's hear it for Bonny McMurry's excellent cock!

FADE OUT TO AUDIENCE APPLAUSE AS BONNY McMURRY ACCEPTS A TROPHY.

SHOT OPENS ON THE PRODUCE STAND. WAYNE, DAN, AND DARY ARE SITTING IN THEIR USUAL SEATS WITH THEIR USUAL PUPPERS. KATYS CHAIR IS TAKEN BY WAYNE AND DARY'S ROOSTERS.

DAN: Recon Miss Katies is going to wants her seats back anytimes soons?

WAYNE: I imagine she's occupied for the evening.

DARY: Can't really blame her. I mean, who knew Bonny McMurry had such a championship cock?WAYNE: Hell, anybody'd want to go celebrate down MoDean's after a win like that. She's more than earned it, showing up all our cocks like that.

DARY: Still, there's no shame in coming second, good buddy.

DAN: Especiallys nots against such stiffs competitions.

WAYNE: I reckon you're right there, Dary. Andyouwannaknowwhat? Ain't no shame in coming third neither.

DAN: Especiallys nots against such stiffs competitions.

WAYNE stands and holds his hand out for DARY to shake: Congratulations Dary. That's a mighty fine cock you've got there.

DARY stands and shakes WAYNE's hand: Not as nice as yours, Wayne. Congratulations on the cock.

WAYNE and DARY sit.

WAYNE looks at where the roosters are sitting next to each other: Well, I'll give those hockey nutsacks this. They are cuddly little fuckers, aren't they?

DARY hawks a loogie in agreement.

WAYNE: Still not letting 'em in the fucking house though.

WAYNE, DARY, and DAN take a drink of PUPPERS.

CREDITS ROLL.

[r3b3lgrrrrrrrl]

A LunaTic and Her Gunn (Part 114) "Suck My Metaphysical DICK!"

Practice had ran long and late the night before with Casie eventually being carried to her bed as many patient joints and blunts were finally fired up. Giving So Am I a break, they goofed around with a couple different songs and chords. Mod and Colson finally being coaxed into treating everyone to their playful version of SummerTime.

---------------------------------------------------

With the next day starting, they're back to practicing. Luna choosing Colson, Sam and Baze to debut the new song with her. Mod proceeds to film The Movie that he had started last night of their creative process. Deanna continues to work on Casie's dresses as the younger Baker plays outside with her friends; calling her in as needed to her delight. Pete, Benny, Rook, Kevin and Slim float around the house playing video and arcade games, pool and popping into practice to offer tips or fresh beers.

"Alright, I'm done." Luna declares as she accepts a beer from Rook and rubs the back of her neck. "I think this is the most I've ever practiced a song. We either nail it or we don't." She says as a matter of fact before she takes a gulp of her beer. "What do you think?" She asks, looking over at Colson.

"We got this shit, Baby." He answers, giving her a confident nod with a soul melting wink.

"Bet." She smiles at him teasingly. "Sammy? Baze?" Luna looks over to her other bandmate's nodding heads. "That's it." She calls as she lifts her guitar over her head to the other's relief. "You think we can get a jet from Sean? It'll make tonight a WHOLE lot easier for us and Deanna" Asking as she turns back to Colson.

"You got a better chance than I do." He snorts at the idea.

"That's probably true." Luna sighs. "I'm gonna smoke a cigarette and hit him up." She goes on to tell Colson before kissing his cheek and grabbing her stuff to head outside.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Hey!" Luna perks up as Sean answers the phone.

"And to what do I owe the pleasure, Miss Smith?" Diddy laughs at her, cutting right to the chase.

"We're performing on GMA tomorrow morning. I was hoping you had a jet in LA that we could use to get to NY tonight." Luna answers, knowing he appreciates no bullshit.

"You and Colson are on GMA tomorrow morning?" He responds in amazement.

"Shit, Sean. You sound like I do with my career!" Luna laughs at his reaction.

"Nah, nah... I knew they were looken' to book y'all, I just didn't know it had happened this quick." He answers, trying to cover his ass.

"A happy Sean means Yes to a jet, right?" Luna coaxes out the answer she wants.

"Yeah, yeah. What time you need it?" He asks as his mind starts running a hundred other ideas.

"I don't know... 5Pish?" Luna prepares to negotiate.

"No problem. I'll have it up and ready for you. Yo! Tell The Kid I said Congratulations. You two break a fucking leg. I'll be watching." Sean tells Luna.

"Thanks. I'll let him know... And thank you again for the jet. It'll be so much easier with all of our shit." She goes on to finish up the conversation to his No Problems and more Congratulations.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"We got a jet, MOTHERFUCKERSSSS!" Luna shouts with a laugh. "We just gotta be at the hanger by 5P." She goes on to inform The Gang.

As Luna and Colson head up the stairs to shower, they can hear Sam shouting for everyone to remember to grab their boards; she has a line on a party tonight that she doesn't wanna miss. Besides, no true native drives in NYC. They walk, bike, ride the subway or hail a cab. It's only the cool kids that grind their way through the Five Burroughs.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Sean wanted me to tell you he's proud of you." Luna says to Colson as she pulls her tank top off.

"Really?" His chin cocks in her direction as he reaches into the shower to adjust the water temperature.

"Mmhmm." Luna purrs as she steps out of her black panties; catching Colson's eyes on her as she looks up.

"Fuck, you're hot." He pants as he wraps his long arms around her tiny, naked waist before sliding his two large hands up her body to cradle her head with them and kiss her deeply.

Luna can't resist Colson. There is no allowing him to consume her being, it just happens. Connecting so incredibly easily and naturally on not just a physical, mental and emotional level but out of the insane, unquenchable necessity they have for the other. The way Colson and Luna love each other is beyond intense.

Proving so as he lifts her up onto the  countertop without their mouths separating for longer than a second. Kissing each other hungrily as he slides between her bare thighs and their hands roam each other's naked, tattooed bodies. Colson sucks on Luna's neck as she wraps her legs around his waist and works him into her slowly. She gasps in pleasure as he moans during their way towards her back wall. Once he's fully in, Luna loosens up a bit as her soaked pussy engulfs him.

"Fuck, you're so TIGHT." Colson's breath tickles her ear and neck as his words directly entice her pussy into all of his Bad Things.

Grabbing her ass, he pulls her hair with his other hand. Groaning as her walls clench tighter around him, loving his assertive actions. Syncing together roughly as they both cum on the bathroom countertop.

"FUCK." Colson sighs as he kisses Luna's right temple.

"Shower?" She asks while still catching her own breath.

"Yeah... " Colson breathes out.

They rest in each other's hold for a few more moments. Enjoying the quietness of the bathroom and each other's breathing. With their chaotic lives, Colson and Luna have a tendency to hoard every stolen moment between them.

Finally they get into the steady running shower. Fucking it out again. Taking in every piece of each other before stepping out. Carrying on with their usual routine of drugs, kisses and jokes as they dress for their evening flight.

"I fucking love you." Colson slams his hand onto Luna's ass cheek with authority.

"You fucking better." She laughs as she checks her face before turning around to throw her arms around him and firmly kiss his agreeing grin.

---------------------------------------------------

"You know I don't ever know where I'm going." Colson tells Emma with a chuckle as he hands her Casie's bags. "We're headed to NY tonight and then I think LA but I don't know for how long until the wedding. Hit up Ash, she'll know." He advises Casie's mother of his schedule.

"YEAH... I know." Emma replies with an engrained eyeroll.

"GIVE IT TO ME, PEANUT!!" Colson shouts for his daughter as he squats down and she sprints into his open arms. "Love you!!" He declares as he attacks her with a million kisses.

"DAAAD!!" Casie squeals in laughter as she hugs and tries to wiggle away from her father all at the same time.

"Alright, alright... " He agrees after planting another loud kiss onto her cheek before letting her go.

"He's such a neeerd." Casie whispers into Luna's ear as they hug each other GoodBye.

"Yeeeeah... But he's a good nerd." Luna kisses Casie's cheek. "See you in a few?" Luna asks as she pulls back.

"Yup." Casie grins at her.

"Love you, Dill." Luna holds the young girl in for another tight hug.

"Love you, Looney." Casie replies as she squeezes her back.

---------------------------------------------------

The flight to NY is rowdy as fuck. During the 6hr flight, Colson, Luna, Sam, Baze, Rook, Slim, Mod, Benny, Pete and Kev get FUCKED up. Making up Ten of Them. Except Deanna, she's only along for the flight... And to watch the many antics. Smoking blunt after blunt. Pouring drink after drink. While also snorting more than a few things along the way. The trip itself could be a whole ass Hunter S. Thompson Movie.

Luna and Colson dip out to fuck each other in the bathroom. They've already joined the mile high club together but there's something about making your girlfriend coo your name as she cums for you in the air. Especially on your Boss's private plane.

--------------------------------------------------

"Listen... I only got a few things so far." Luna tries to prepare The Gang as she unlocks The Brownstone's front door.

Flipping on the light, the house is clean but bare. Over to the right is the only object on the ground floor. It's a drum kit.

"Is that for ME!" Rook shouts out in disbelief to Luna's happy grin.

Fuck everything else. Rook pulls his sticks out of his back pocket and begins to pound. Providing the soundtrack to their home as the rest of them run eagerly through their new spot. Some, Baze and Slim, check to see if anyone caused any damage during The Break In. They did not.

"YO!! WHERE THE FUCK YOU COP THESE MOTHERFUCKERS!?!" Slim shouts down the stairwell to Luna.

"He finally found his room." Colson laughs as he holds onto Luna and she snuggles into his warm scent.

They all have beds. In each of their rooms. Nothing else because they can decorate it themselves but there are king sized beds in each room with dark sheets and neon green double Xs on them.

Colson reaches his long leg over to kick the door shut. Catching a deviously inviting smile from Luna he eagerly devours her body. Breaking their new bed in with his mouth and oversized cock.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Nah... We're goin' under Sutter Bridge where those old half pipes are... " Nipple tries to explain to Luna where they're headed for the night.

They're all sitting along their stoop. All Ten of Them plus now Nipple and his girlfriend Carrie. Preparing to make their way into the NYC night.

"Oh!" Luna sucks her teeth. "You're talking about the old wooden half pipes!" She exclaims once she realizes where he's describing. "Okay, yeah, I know where that's at... What are we doin'? We ready ride?" She asks as she tosses her hands up.

Nipple nods and Luna goes to find Colson. He's in the kitchen but is immediately up for an adventure. With her school bag packed, boards in everyone's hands and the front door locked; The Terrible Twelve, along with Nipple and Carrie, slip in with the NYC air. Boards and hair flowing like the wind.

---------------------------------------------------

There are many different kinds of parties you can find around The World. Each country or continent offering it's own type of vibe and experience. New York has no ONE vibe. Every location is different. Every party is unique. Every experience is it's own.

As the Terrible Twelve, plus Nipple and Carrie, roll over the worn down road they can hear the blasts of decks slamming, music blaring and laughter floating. Nipple's ahead of them all with Carrie close to his side. Sam follows behind as she leads Baze. Catching the feeling of home, Luna grabs Colson's hand as she plants both feet on her board and guides them into Her World.

Underneath the bridge looks like a mix of 90s nostalgia, the 70s drug scene and the repercussions of the early 2000s. Flowing together with plywood and spray paint. There's dozens of people Luna hasn't seen for months. Kicking her deck up, she grins at Colson while keeping their hands tight. Floating into exactly where she's missed.

"YO!! WHERE THE FUCK YOU BEEN GIRL!?!" Luna's friend Darnell shouts the main question of the night as he grips her into a tight hug.

"I've been falling in love." Luna smiles modestly as she introduces him to Colson.

Colson and Darnell hit it off immediately. Along with everyone else who Luna introduces to Colson. This relieves a huge weight off of Luna's soul. These are her people. Justin's people. Although Luna may not care what people think, their feelings are still important to her.

After introductions, Luna and Colson rip it apart on one of the many homemade half pipes. Grinning and busting each other's balls as they fly passed each other. Catching up with one another on the same lip, they ride down to grab a drink.

"I hate that you're so fucking cool." Colson teases her, finding more comfort under an abandoned bridge than in a multi million dollar club.

"No you don't." Luna grins as she cracks him a can of PBR and stands on her tippy toes to kiss him.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Yo... Where the fuck you been?" Carrie asks Luna as she lays on Sam and Sam lays on Luna; all three comfortably taking up more than half of the graffitied boards to themselves.

"I don't know... " Luna answers by waving her hands around. "I've just been doing things."

"Yeeeeah" Carrie laughs. "We hear you. It's kinda fucking weird, Dude."

"Is it bad weird?" Luna asks in a moment of uncertainty.

"No. Just weird. I can't describe it... I've been listening to you for YEARS, Loons. Both live and recorded. I guess it's just weird to have you pop up on a Spotify playlist is all... " Carrie trails, regretting saying anything at all.

"I'm on fucking Spotify?" Luna asks in horror.

Normal people would celebrate this achievement. Luna. Luna wants to climb into a kangaroo pouch and never emerge. Fame is a Monster that Stephanie described and Luna wants no parts of. But it's here, whether she wants it to be or not.

"Are you fucking serious?" Carrie laughs at her. "You can't be THAT naive. You've got three songs trending and you're about to marry MGK... Not that he's Channing or anything but he's definitely hot and you're way more out there than you've ever been... You don't know this?" Carrie scoffs in slight jealousy of Luna's resistance.

"What the FUUUUUCK... " Luna doesn't respond, just let's the rumble of the boards next to her vibrate her soul from underneath.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Later, Luna finds herself sitting with Pete and Kevin on the lip of the old half pipe, sharing a joint along with a 40 of Old E. They're not fancy and they don't pretend to be. Sam's on the other half pipe with Mod and Carrie still grinding while Colson, AJ, Baze and Slim bust it up with Nipple as Rook and Benny talk to a group of girls. Luna can see them all as her happy feet swing free.

"I gotta ask you something." The tone in Pete's voice changes the air around them.

"What's up, Petey?" Luna asks, expecting ANYTHING except for what he's about to say.

"You didn't cheat on Colson, did you?" He questions her with hesitation.

"WHAT? NO. Why the fuck would you ask me something like that?" Luna immediately jerks her head towards her old friend.

"A thing he said." Pete admits, secretly regretting his question immediately but Luna is one of his bestfriends so he had to.

"What the FUCK did he say? Don't fucking play with me either, Petey." Luna threatens as she feels her soul drop through her already drunk belly.

"You remember the night you caught that late flight back from seeing Jackson?" Pete sighs to Luna's searing nod before he continues to elaborate. "Kells said something to the effect that it wouldn't be the first time you cheated. What was he talking about, Loons?"

"He fucking told?" Luna's heart breaks as it catches what Pete is saying to her. "I can't believe he would do that to me." Luna can feel her face heat up as her heart begins to race.

"He was talking about shit that doesn't concern him or you. ACTUALLY. But if you MUST know, I had an affair back in 2013. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go handle my fucking business." Luna's words are curt towards him before she slides down the half pipe.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"WAIT... 2013? That means she cheated on Justin?" Pete is so confused as he watches Luna stand up and hone in on Colson. "FUCK. What did I just start." He worries as he grabs Kevin and slides down to follow behind Luna.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Luna marches straight up to Colson and snatches his up by the arm. Dragging him away from whomever to a secluded corner under the bridge. Standing in the dark she stares up at his confused face.

"Who else did you tell about my affair with Tommy?" She asks him directly with a quiver in her angry voice.

"What?" He automatically responds after being caught off guard by the question.

"Don't lie to me Colson." Luna warns in a low voice.

"I... I didn't tell anyone really but Slim figured it out after our fight over that article." Colson admits with hesitation as he watches tears begin to drop down Luna's cheeks.

"Then what the fuck is Petey talking about?" She continues to question him.

"MOTHERFUCKER. I told him not to say shit." Colson's brain sets on fire.

"I didn't tell him anything Loons but something obviously slipped. I'm sorry." Colson apologizes as he goes to reach for her.

"No." She states as she jerks away from him. "That's not okay." She's full on crying now as the anger starts to boil. "That's not okay AT FUCKING ALL!" She finally snaps. Drawing her right fist back, she catches him on the bottom of the LeftSide of his chin. It's hard enough of a blow to knock him out of their conversation but causes no physical damage. Colson grabs his jaw in shock but not pain. "WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT!?" Luna screams at Colson as she shoves him with all of her force. "IT WASN'T YOURS TO FUCKING TELL!" She continues to scream through her tears while shoving him again.

"I'M SORRY!!" He yells back at her, grabbing her by the arms to catch his drunken balance.

"Get the FUCK off of me." She snarls before kicking him hard in his shin.

"AHHHHH!!!" Colson cries out in pain as he collapses to the ground and grabs his injury.

"I DECIDE WHO I TELL ABOUT MY SHIT!! ESPECIALLY WHEN IT DOESN'T EFFECT YOU!!" She's shouting again as her head viscously snakes around and hands fly like hummingbirds. "SO FUCKING WHAT!?! I DID HAVE A FUCKING AFFAIR... AND I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK WHO KNOWS ABOUT IT BECAUSE THE ONLY PERSON IT SHOULD MATTER TO IS DEAD... You and everyone else can SUCK MY METAPHYSICAL DICK!" She screams to anyone and no one at the same time. It's been said before, Luna does not lie. "You ran your mouth on me... " She let's out with a tear drenched gasp. "I have way bigger shit than this... How can I ever trust you... Let alone fucking marry you?" Luna sighs out with a sad coldness as she looks down at him and shakes her head in disgust before walking away. Grabbing her bag and board before she disappears into the night.

The Bridge is not bothered by Luna and Colson. Only their personal entourage is truly watching what had happened. Slim walks over to Colson who's still laying on the ground. Her words strike him like lightning, stopping his heart and soul. Most of the time he knows when and when not to fight with Luna. Right now, he doesn't know what to do. Choosing not to say a word; he just lays there watching His Girl angrily stalk away from him as Sam and Carrie rush to catch up to her.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"They are ALWAYS going through some type of bullshit." Their friends think collectively. Except for Pete; he's confused and pissed but not sure at who.

---------------------------------------------------

It begins to pour as Luna drops her deck. Feeling the warm summer rain pelt her skin, she pushes off of the asphalt. Choosing to glide on the street's edge as she ignores Sam's calls from behind her. Losing her and Carrie without a second's thought.

"I can't believe he did that." Luna's heart growing weak with betrayal. Thinking of how Justin never knew about Tommy because he never asked. Shoving her foot hard onto the rainy street, she can't help but bawl as she pushes out her frustration, sadness and guilt.

"All you would've had to do was FUCKING notice and I would've told you!" Luna screams into the NYC streets as the rain drenches her soul.