#so much stronger thANME

[semenguine]

it’s. just after 7:30 when i har the nock. 7:35 maybe. or 7:40. imin the twins room. chaing their diapers. and. im finishing up with adelpha. i’m putting on diaper cream. she’s drooling. i’m already miserable because of what happend to me because of what i did. two nightsb efore i. 

i was stupid. the kock comes again. and. i tape adelpha’s diaper on and pick her up and give her butt a little pat and she just goes n drooling. and i put her in the same crib as her sister becase they dont cry when i leave the room if theyre togetehr. and i see eden trying to get down the stairs and i tell her no no ill get it. and she says ok. and shes really hungover anyway not just alcohol all sorts of shit. so she hobles back to bed. 

the person knocks aigan. i shold have. lookd through the pephole but i didnt. ijust opened the door. i thought maybe itwas the mailman or somethng, bit. t wanst

i open the door. and ts him . and i freeze for a second and. hes stronger thanme because everybody us and. the next thing i know. hes in my home. and. he closes the door an locks it and. i dcant breathe. and i wish i never went to him.and remibded him i exist. that we exist. and i frorgot he knowswhere i live.  

what re .you diong in here i whisper. i messaged eden, he says and he pouts. but she didnt reply and it really hurt my geelings. i just awnted to come by and see if shes ok. pleaes dont hurt eeden, i say. pelase. please. she shouldnt have left me on read he esays. thats crazy i say. please hurt me instead dont hurt her please. she’s isck she broke he rankle i say desperately. please.

he grabs me by the wrist and says if i have to go looking for her things are only gonna get worse for her. where is she? i want to cry he holds on to me so tight i take him to me and eden’s bedroom.gary pushes me in ahead of him.

i stumble. who was at the door? eden asks. p-put this on, eden, you have to, i say quickly, i rush over and bring her her shirt and shorts- why she says. does someone wanna talk to me? she clutches her head and she groans. yes eden please, i say. are you okay? she asks. she’s a little shaken up, says gary. eden’s eyes go wide. gary grabs my wrist again. don’t hurt her please, i beg. he ignoesm e. 

what the hell are you doign in my house? eden demands. she’s more alert now. she. grabs the clothes and he lets go of me and walks right over and yanks them out of her hands. you won’t need those, he says. for the shit im gonna do to you. you aint ifnna do shit to me, edn says. angrily. you know what i dont care what you here for. let me show you the exit and maybe ill jus t tell the police you got lost.

you won’t tell the police anything, he says. because they don’t give a fuck. you know that. eden’s chest rises and falls. she doesn’t say anything. why didn’t you reply to my texts? he asks. cause i dont like to entertain crazy people, eden spits. aw, gary says. im not crazy. im just angry. you understand, dont you? its kinda like how it was, his eyes narrow. when you broke my nose. you know? or maybe how sierra felt, he gr abs me again and pshes me onto the bed. when she made me lose my FUCKING job! his nostrils flare and he takes a deep breath.

tears are streaming down my face please gary i beg. i cant pay rent he rants. i have to move back in with ym mom next month. what do you want ,eden says. i hear your ankles broken that true? gary asks. eden looks at me i swallow. gary pulls the covers off eden, who scrambls to cgover herself. thats cute, gary mocks. thats how you lseep huh? in your little dino undies. youre a psychopath eden says. i cry .

you’ll never be a real man edne says gary. oh thank god says eden. you couldnt give y our wife what she needs gary whispers. so ehe came trunning to me. the fact tha t you’re violent and evil enough that a sexual abuse survivor wlould come to you  when she want s to retraumatize herself is a weird fl ex eden replies. 

shut up, says gary. he gets in to the bed no please i say please dont hurt her. he wont edensays. he smiles at her. you think youre so tough that youre such a man he says. well men he squeezes her chest and she shoves his hand away and raises her arms defensively oevr it. dont hav e .these. youre just something else arent you but, when it comes to babymaking you do the mans job dont you eden he whispers. so i guess you’re moer man than girl.

eden’s dead silent and then she attakcs him.but shes hungoer and her ankle is broken. all i he gdoes is put pressure on her ankle and shes cries ou tin pain nad he pins her down to the bed. no i cry. gary please. bring me some tape he orders me and maybe ill be gentle. i dont knwo what else to do so ijsut agree. 

i fee stupid as soon as ai bring it back he tapes over eden’s mouth. it muffles her screams. she kicks and thrashes and tries to get him off but hres pinnedh er arms down her noiesse increasie in fratnicness as he pull sh er underwwar off her. he strts talking . about hoe we ruined his life and how much he loves watchinglesibian porn and alwaysa wishe he could be part o i now look he ist and how rede n will never be a man . eden kicks desperately. shes’ cryingnad triyng to scream i can tell but the tape the stupid dape.

i grab on to garys legs please stop i plead she didnt do anything please. he kicks me and i fall off the bed. i land hard. i cant move im so dizzy. i just lie there and my whole body hurts. eden screams nad itheres nothing  i can do. when gary tells her she’s so tight she makwes a good woman in some ways there isnt anythin g i can do.

that hurts doent it gary syays this is what you did to me this is what you did to my life now how does it feel. wish there was a bit more space in hre eh says. so short i can only fit ab out half of me in but then i guess its cause ths little hole donest lead to anywhere huh ? how sad. i hate fucking you its so messy .so much damn blood. 

edens still screinamng. i hatem yeslf i hate myself for leading  him here. i never wantedto hurt anyone you knwo that? gary starts crying. but you bitches made me. i had to do this. you did nt give me a choice. hekeeps goinga nd going. he takes the tape off eden’s mouth i har the rip but he 

she doesn’t screma for long he cms in her mouth she starts gurgling an d coughing. theres a slapping nois e fucking swallow it you bitch he tells her to suck the b lod off. eshes crinyg and sobbing and choking. stop it, i try again. my voice is weak and stupid. please.

t then. one fo the twins starts crying i am fiilled with fear. oh he says i almost forgot. i haen’t met your kids yet. NO, i cry. no don’t hurt them gary please they’re just babies they’ven ever done anythign to yo uplease, i sob. please please don’t hurt them please don’t hurt my babies don’t hurt my babies. i crawl to his feet hurt me instead i beg. 

i look at eden and there’s so mcuch blood on the sheets and on her elsgs i almost scream. she looks e mpty. thersf cum a an d spit allover her chin. he looks at me and gets up. no i scream desp earetly. i grab on to his legs and try to hodl him back . please please i sob. dont touch my babies ont hurt my babies.

i just want to say hi, he says. but. do you know how easy it is to suffocate a baby? NO PlEASE, i sob. eden drags herself out of bed. she half crawls half drags herself along the floor. i if you la y a fucing hand on my  k kids ill kill you, she says hoarsely. yo ucant even stand gary says.

d dont need to shes cryig. to kill you. gary drags me along and i mst il l cilinging trying to hold him back. eden drags hers elf to the nursery. a mara is crying. she.cant get up eden whispers throug hthe crib bars its o k. dadas her e. 

gary tries to get closer i bite him. get away from me! he shakes his leg btu i keep clinging. adelpha starts crying too i can tell they are scared both of the babies they are bot hscared. i sob. gary gets closer. edeng goes crazy she. growls . aa nd. claws and bites himhe cant  shake her off. 

he moves back. eden glares at him on all fours naked, blood trickling down her legs the cum drying on her chin tears all over her face gr ubting and pantimg animalitcially she bear s her teeth at h im . oyu’re pathe tic he say s. look at y ou. but i can i thin k he is scared .

hopefully he says. you wont ig nore one of my mes sages agin. right? you’ll fuckin rspond back wont oyu? edens silent . wont ouy? he demands. i look at eden p l adingly. hshe look at me and back at the tw ins. yes she says. good. he says. youre no t a man . you can never mke a gir lhappy. dont for get, gary sneers. and if y out tell te police about this i’ll make your lives a awliving hell.

he grabs me by the wrist and throws me to the floor and ki cks my rirbs in. i scrmea. stop it, edne says. sotp it, he mocks. stop it. he kick s me gain and then says . . i think im ight stay her for abit. you havea guest room dnot you?

no ,eden lies . he smile s. well make one, he says . hhhe went out buty hell be back. thats what scares me the most is he’l be back hes stayign nad anything coudl hapen. he tt tok pictures of eden. nad hell s hare them out  ii f. we odnt do what he says. 

i dont tihn k i hav e to watch you he said . you two are sma rt people. i thinkyou know hwat it ocudl do to eden’s career.

and h hes right we kno w so we cant get help we cant do an y hting. were at ihis mercy .