#so much of the world will revolve around the moons and stars and space

[thewisherr]

Writing your own campaign setting for the first time you realize you can push whatever agenda you want and no one can stop you.

[mazzymoonlight]

Are There Still Beautiful Things?

summary: inspired by taylor’s “seven”, follow JJ and reader through snapshots of their lives together.

warnings: mentions of the death of a parent, mentions of excessive drinking, mentions of abuse

word count: 9.9k

a/n: hellooo & welcome to my first fic :) some of this had been previously posted in parts, but after evaluation i realized this needed to be heavily edited & worked better in this format. this fic has a special place in my heart, so i hope you enjoy reading as much as i enjoyed writing it. (p.s, happy obx 3 eve!)

SEVEN

please, picture me in the trees, i hit my peak at seven feet, in the swing over the creek, i was too scared to jump in but i, i was high in the sky with pennsylvania under me … are there still beautiful things?

JJ Maybank thinks the last time he was truly, truly happy was when he was seven. At such a young age, anything seemed possible. The sky was the limit and the ocean was their backyard. He had his mother and his father, and even though it leaked sometimes, a roof over his head.

And he had his friends, his favorite people in the world. John B, who he had been sat next to on the first day of second grade and was now inseparable from, and y/n, the girl whose mother was his mother’s best friend, who he had known his whole life.

It was always the three of them, getting into trouble together and spending nearly every moment with each other. You rarely saw one of them without at least one other, and even at such a young age, it was clear they had a bond some people spent a lifetime searching for. They were lucky, and people liked to tell them that.

In their younger days, one of the moms (or more often, both of them together) would often take the trio around. Watching at the beach while they learned to surf, the parks while they played until red in the face, treating them to dinners at the local establishments, or ice cream on those extra hot and intolerable days.

But their favorite was camping in the backyard. They would set up a tent and a bonfire, and roast s’mores and stare at the stars.

JJ’s mom had a particular affinity for the mystery that hung above them and would spend hours teaching the kids everything she knew. She loved the moon, she would tell them everything she knew. She liked to talk about the phases and what they meant, what kind of full moons they were in store for soon.

But Saturn was her favorite, she would talk about any chance she could.

Did you know it’s actually a big ball of gas? That it would float in water?

The ring is made up of ice and dirt and bits.

It’s windy up there.

It takes twenty-nine earth years to revolve around the sun.

Time must move slowly up there.

And they let her talk too. And they listened to every word. They listened to the tales and myths and theories of space until they couldn’t fight the sleep back, and their eyes of wonder became sleepy, slowly blinking at the woman in front of them.

“Goodnight,” She’d say to the three of them, and then she would lean in close to JJ, and leave a kiss on his little forehead.

“I love you to the moon and to Saturn.” he would fall into sleep with a smile on his face.

Nights like that were always beautiful. Memories like that were beautiful.

JJ couldn’t help but wonder; without them, was there any beauty at all left in the world?

FOURTEEN

sweet tea in the summer, cross my heart won’t tell no other, and though i can’t recall your face, i still got love for you your braids like a pattern love you to the moon and to saturn, passed down like folk songs … the love last so long.

The summer they were fourteen, JJ’s life changed. His mother passed, and he was never the same after it. It seemed like the entirety of the outer banks was aware of the light that had been lost.

y/n and her parents were right alongside Luke and JJ. None of them knew what was in store without her. Filled with anger, sadness, regret, and guilt, they all knew that she had so much more to give. Life was not kind, life was not fair, and although they all knew it, they never thought that they would get a reminder quite like this.

JJ stood in between his two best friends, y/n’s hand in his, she was struggling too, but she was holding back. She knew she had to be strong for JJ, she had lost someone special, but he lost his mother, and that was something that he would never get back, something that could never be replaced.

That night y/n stays with JJ, and they end up outside the same way they used to, but without a bonfire tonight. Tonight they stare in silence at the night sky, both thinking about all the things JJ’s mom had told them about the stars and planets above.

“I keep thinking she’s on Saturn,” y/n says, suddenly, the thought slipping out before she can think about stopping herself.

“What?”

“I keep thinking about Saturn, how much she loved it.” She clarifies, “And I keep thinking how happy she must be to finally see it.”

There’s more she wants to say, but figures it’s nothing that JJ hasn’t already heard. What can she say, really? When she catches his smile, the first she’s seen in weeks, she leaves it at that. She’s said all she needs to.

“Yea,” he said, wiping a stray tear. “I bet she is. I like that thought.”

And he meant it. The thought of his mom, an angel on her favorite planet, he didn’t think there was any other explanation.

FIFTEEN

JJ’s fifteenth birthday creeps up, and y/n had worked extra to get him a special present. She had seen it in one of the windows of the fancy boutiques on figure eight and immediately ran in to look at it, begging the store owner to hold it for her after seeing the price on the tag. It had to be JJ’s, she knew it the moment she saw it.

So two weeks later she returned with money collected from babysitting and delivering groceries, the proudest smile on her face. Bringing it home and exchanging the chain for a longer silver one before wrapping it up neatly.

Everyone gathers at the Maybank home on the day of. John B and his father, y/n and her parents, and Pope and Kiara, who the trio had recently befriended.

Luke had even put in a little effort, putting up some simple birthday decorations he had bought from the dollar tree. It wasn’t very much, but all JJ cared about was that everyone he loved was there with him. JJ was happy, but there was a lurking sadness in the back of his head. This was his first birthday without his mom. There was an empty space that would never be filled, no matter how hard he tried. And he was trying very hard.

Despite the weight of loss, it was one of the best days JJ’s had in a long time. Luke had set up a slip-n-slide for the kids, really just a tarp with some water and some dish soap but the kids didn’t care. He grilled hamburgers and hotdogs and even stocked up on more sodas than they needed. y/n had made a cake and John B helped her decorate it. It was sloppy, but it was theirs, for JJ.

y/n had waited until later to give JJ his present. She found him still sitting at the outside table with his hand on his chin, looking up into space like he always did.

“There you are.” She says, siding into the seat next to him. She follows his gaze up toward the night sky.

“Looking for Saturn?” she asks.

“Always am.” He answers sadly despite the small smile on his lips.

She doesn’t say anything, only matches his sad smile with one of her own, and holds out the box shyly.

“Happy birthday Jay.”

He takes it gently, looking at her with a look neither of them can register yet. He leans into her a bit, nudging her softly before tearing at the paper.

When he opens the box his smile drops, and suddenly it feels like he can’t breathe, he feels caught off guard as his emotions blindside him. He had no clue what to expect but this certainly wasn’t it.

y/n sees his reaction and it feels like a gut punch. Why had she gotten him that?

She felt so certain it belonged with JJ but seeing him look so upset now she just felt stupid.

“JJ, I’m sorry, I can bring it back, I just thought … if you don’t like it I’ll take it back.” She tries to explain herself and reaches for the box, but he jerks away from her when she tries to take it back.

She freezes, confused now. He doesn’t catch her reaction, still looking at the necklace in his hands.

“I think I’m forgetting her.” He finally says, voice barely above a whisper, like he was scared to say it. Like this was the first time he was admitting it to himself.

“I’m scared y/n, it’s only been a year, and every day I’m scared I’ve lost another piece of her, what if I’m forgetting her?” And then he’s crying before he can stop himself, sobbing almost.

He clutches the box to his chest like he’s scared to let it go, like letting it go would be the end of the world for the second time.

y/n pulls him in, a few tears of her own falling, thinking of all the things she would do and the things she would trade to take away his pain.

“JJ… you’re not going to forget her, okay, I promise you. All you’re doing is healing, trying to learn to live a normal life without your mom, something that no child should ever have to do. You have so many memories of her, you have so many stories and pictures. You're a piece of her. When you’re older you’ll pass the stories on, and people who never got to know her will know her. And when you're older, older, you’ll tell your kids about their grandmother, the woman who was as strong as a hurricane and soft as a butterfly all in one. You won’t forget her JJ, you can’t when you’re part of her.”

She talks him down, and once he subsides he sees the truth in her words, he trusts her so he trusts what she’s saying wholeheartedly.

“You promise me, y/n?”

She holds him tighter

“Cross my heart JJ.”

“Okay,” He says, sitting up from her.

“Okay?” she questions, wiping the last few tears from his face “because you don’t have to be.”

“I know, but I will be.”

She smiles at that, she knew he would be, even if he didn’t fully believe it, he was the strongest person she knew.

She nods towards the necklace “so you like it then?”

He nods. “I think this is the best present I’ll ever get.” And finally pulls the chain out of the box, staring at the clip confused as he tries to figure it out himself.

y/n laughs, making a motion for him to come closer.

“Here, I’ll do it for you.”

She undoes the clasp and wraps it around his neck, closing it again before adjusting, the charm settling just above his heart.

Her fingers linger on the charm, smiling at the memory, the meaning of it.

“Now you have your own Saturn, always with you.”

His hand closes on hers.

You are my Saturn y/n, he thinks.

But instead, he wraps her in a hug, “wanna camp out tonight? I’ll get John B to come back, the three of us like old times.”

She nods in his arms.

“Always.”

That night the three of them all felt like things had gone back to normal, even just for the night both John B and y/n were glad that JJ could feel some type of relief, even if it was fleeting. They knew in the morning things would go back to the way they were, and JJ would struggle a little bit more than the average person, but if they could just give him a couple of hours, it was worth it.

And finally, when they’ve retired to bed and settled in their sleeping bags, JJ and y/n had the same thought running through their minds as they fell asleep.

I love you to the moon and to Saturn.

And JJ swears he felt something press against his forehead that night, exactly like old times.

SIXTEEN

and i’ve been meaning to tell you, i think your house is haunted, your dad is always mad and that must be why, and i think you should come live with me and we can be pirates … then you won’t have to cry, or hide in the closet and just like a folk song, our love will be passed on

The summer they were sixteen was one they had been dreaming about what felt like their whole lives. Finally old enough to roam freely, exploring all the nooks and crannies unsupervised. The trio had now officially graduated to a group of five, and now they took on the world with Pope and Kiara by their sides.

It should have been a dream. Granted, most of the time it was, but there were nightmares constantly lurking in the corner. JJ didn’t want to admit it, but he was pretty sure he had finally lost his father.

Luke Maybank was never the same after his wife died, but for a while, he at least attempted for JJ. He tried, he really did, to be there, and be something for JJ. But he was losing himself, and in the past year, he was slipping further and further away, turning into someone that even y/n’s parents, who had known him for so long, didn’t recognize.

The drinking was getting out of control, and the hitting started not too long after. When he was sober, he was sorry, but eventually, it became a rare occasion to find Luke Maybank sober

So JJ’s normal became sneaking around his own house, avoiding the last of his family, seeing how many family dinners at y/n’s he could get invited to each week, and saving everything he could from his oddball jobs to get out as soon as possible.

He didn’t like to talk about it, in fact, he never did. He let the pogues think whatever they wanted to and never gave them a real answer when they asked. As far as he was concerned, they didn’t need to be concerned about him, he’d be leaving soon anyways.

But y/n knew. She watched like she always did, she was observant. She watched his eyes get that faraway look whenever he rattled off his latest excuse and the way his smile would fall when he thought no one was looking. She watched him and knew he was hurting more than he would let on.

She had gone to his house to find him but only found Luke instead, and what she saw scared her. She did not recognize the stumbling drunk man looking back at her. And he didn’t recognize her either. The girl he had watched grow up next to JJ, the girl he had roasted countless marshmallows for when she was scared of getting too close to the fire. The girl he made pancakes for in the mornings and the girl he lit fireworks for on the fourth of July. None of the memories registered, he had run her off his property like a stranger had just trespassed.

It was when y/n knew that for the second time, JJ’s life had changed. The knowledge tormented her for weeks. She hated the small piece of her that still felt sympathy for Luke, he was a broken man with plenty of reason to be. She was holding out hope, that something good would happen to JJ.

But when JJ showed up with a black eye one afternoon, blaming it on a group of kooks, she knew she had to say something. She spilled half-truths to her parents, although she suspected they picked up on the unspoken story from the tears in her eyes.

“I’m just - I’m worried about him. I just have this feeling that things have been, I don’t know … harder than normal lately.”

Her parents had sensed the shift too, all her confession had done was confirm the suspicion. Her mother told her then that JJ was always welcome in the home, and her father told her he would try to talk to Luke the next day.

And that worked for a little bit, JJ had visibly perked up and for a minute things seemed like they were back to normal, and y/n was waiting for the right to tell him what she knew but it seemed Luke had beat her to it.

She had been waiting for him at the beach, but her smile immediately turned to worry when she saw him storming up toward her.

“What the fuck y/n?” was the first thing out of his mouth, and now instead of worried she was panicked realizing his anger was directed towards her.

“JJ, what-” But before she can get anything else out he’s talking again.

“What did you do? What did your dad do? What’s with all these cryptic messages of watching us and threatening to take me away? I mean what the fuck, what does that even mean? Take me away? Away from what, my home? My father, my only family I have left? How could you do this to me?”

Her face pales immediately, her head shaking.

“JJ, that is not what happened, that’s not what he meant -”

“So then it’s true, he did come by?”

“Yes but he didn’t threaten your dad JJ, he -”

“You know what y/n, I don’t care. I just came to tell you to stay out of it. I don’t know what you think you know, but my dad and I are fine. We don’t all have a picture-perfect family to go home to at the end of the day.”

His words stung, leaving her nearly speechless. “That’s- that’s not fair JJ. You are family.” She chokes out, but he was already walking away.

“What if it was me?” She calls out, frustrated.

He stops, and she keeps going. “If I were you, and my dad was putting his hands on me. If I started showing up with marks and bruises, wouldn’t you do anything to protect me?”

“I don’t need you to protect me y/n.” And that’s the last thing he says to her before walking away.

JJ’s not around for the next couple of weeks, and it drives y/n up the wall not knowing where he was, or what he was up to.

She spends time with the pogues, but she’s never fully there at any time, part of her mind was constantly on JJ. She finally broke one day and told the pogues to please go find JJ and make him go out on the boat with them. They tried to argue with her but she told them that she was pretty sure that if he didn’t blow off some steam soon, he was going to start getting into trouble, and it wouldn’t be good for him.

She gave them space for a few days, and just assumed that they had picked up JJ and got him out of the house for a bit, so she nearly lost it when the pogues finally confessed that they hadn’t seen or heard from JJ since they had been tasked to go find him.

“Are you sure he’s not at the house?” she asked “Sometimes he just won’t come out, or if you ran into Luke then -”

“He wasn’t there, and we didn’t see Luke either. We checked inside.” Pope answers.

She could feel herself panicking.

“Why did you say something sooner?” She stressed, looking mostly at John B.

He looks down, away from her gaze. “You know how he is y/n… and you were already worried enough. We thought he’d turn up soon, he always does.”

She shakes her head, “maybe, but haven’t you noticed that when he does there’s always a new bruise?”

The three of them exchange looks while she closes her eyes, taking a breath and trying to think for a moment.

“Okay, why don’t you guys go check some of our beach spots maybe? There are a few places I can look and just keep me updated if you find him and I’ll let you guys know too.”

They part ways and y/n knows she’s going back to check the house first. Even if he had left, he was never gone from the house long, there was too much to leave behind.

She parks a little way down from the house, she hadn’t been back since the day Luke had yelled at her and if she was being honest she was still a bit scared. She crept up to the house carefully, freezing she hears shouting, the noise becoming clear once the door swings open.

“Boy, I tell ya, that’s just about the funniest thing I think I’ve heard you say.” y/n hears him laughing maniacally.

“You’re not going anywhere, you won’t leave her, you know you won’t. You’re stuck here, just like me.”

Luke stumbles off towards a trail and y/n waits until he’s out of sight before dashing into the house, finding it still and quiet. She wonders for a moment if Luke had been talking to himself the whole time, not finding it entirely impossible considering how drunk he seemed.

And then y/n is suddenly realizing that the last time she had been in this house was JJ’s fifthteenth birthday, and she was suddenly very aware of how empty it felt. It had lost the warmness and comfort it once held, feeling more like a ghost town than a home now. She felt out of place, which was something she never, ever thought she would feel in the Maybank home.

She notices a slightly open closet door at the end of the hallway, and she swore she could hear sniffling, muffled cries like someone tucked away and hiding in there.

“JJ?” she called out, and when it suddenly went silent again, she knew, rushing over to the door and opening it delicately.

And there JJ was, curled up in himself, knees up to his chest and a photograph in his hand. She knew exactly what photo he was looking at, and she immediately dropped next to him. She didn’t know what to do, she didn’t want to scare him, but looking at him broke her heart.

So instead she starts talking.

“I remember that day.” She says. “That was one of the fourth of July parties, we were all there, even John B and his dad. And this was the year the full moon lined up with the holiday, and your mom was so excited, she talked about it all day and got us excited too. Our dads bought way too many fireworks like they always did. And we ended the night with s’mores, of course, because it wouldn’t be one of our nights without them. You always were so messy. There she is again, cleaning you up.”

JJ falls into her then, and y/n catches him like she always does, and always will. She has tears too, staring at the picture of an innocent JJ, a smile plastered on his face, stacked s’more in hand, staring up at his mom who he loved so much, with no idea he was going to lose her in the next few years. And there was his mom too, beautiful as always, her own s'more in one hand and the other attempting to wipe the sticky marshmallow from his mouth, laughing because she knows it’s useless. But she was his mother, so she would try regardless.

She wraps him up in her arms, her grasp firm so he knows she’s there but not tight enough to hurt him.

“I know why you won’t leave. I know why you won’t leave him, why you always come back. You’re holding on to that last piece of normal. It’s okay, it’s okay to hold on, but not when it’s hurting you like this. This house is full of memories, but it’s haunted and full of pain too. I would never ask you to leave what you know, but please just come with me for tonight, maybe a few days at most.”

JJ has always trusted y/n, so even now, when he was upset and jumbled with emotions he trusts her.

She lifts them both up gently. “Let’s get some spare clothes, okay? I can pack them for you if you want.”

They both walk into his room but he makes no effort to pack. Instead, he picks up another photograph that was sitting on his dresser before sitting at the end of the bed. Without saying anything else she grabs one of his duffle bags, and starts putting in a few extra shirts and shorts, and even grabs a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt just in case. When she’s finished he’s still staring at the photo like he’s in some kind of trance.

She throws the bag over her shoulder and reaches her hand out to JJ. That seems to break him out of his state a little, standing up and pocketing the photographs. He takes her hand and they walk out of the house together, out to her car.

She pulls into her driveway, and they walk into the house together and up to her room.

“Why don’t you shower and change?” She can tell he’s still dazed, and she’s hoping a shower will relax him.

While he showers she makes her way back downstairs, her parents are out of town for the next few days, so she figures she’ll cross that bridge when she gets there. She does, however, text the pogues, realizing just how long it had been since they all began looking for JJ. She keeps it simple and just lets them know that he’s okay and with her for now.

And then, she makes two sandwiches, one for herself and one for JJ, because she knew he wouldn’t eat if he thinks she had made something especially for him. When she walks back up the stairs into her room, JJ is already out of the shower and changed. He looks up when she walks in and she lifts up the plates of sandwiches slightly.

“Eat with me?” she asks.

They sit and eat the sandwiches in silence, and when they’re both finished she runs the plates back down before returning with two classes of water.

“Okay,” she says after a few sips. “Just try to get some rest, okay? I’m going to shower, but I’ll be quick.”

Long after the shower turns on, JJ is still hesitating and realizing how stupid their fight was. All that he knows is that he missed y/n, and now he was here with her, everything felt like maybe it would all be okay.

He had just made it under the covers when the water shut off, and a few minutes later y/n came out, not hesitating to lay down in the bed beside JJ. It didn’t matter that they had been fighting, or not speaking, or had not seen each other in the past few weeks. They would always be there when it was needed.

“I’m sorry y/n,” he says suddenly. She had thought he had fallen asleep.

She shakes her head, even though he can’t see her.

“It’s okay.”

He rolls over, and now they’re both on their back, staring blankly at the ceiling as if staring long enough would make it disappear and show them the night sky just on the other side of it.

“But it’s not.” He starts, “You were just trying to protect me. And this whole thing has been so stupid - I’ve been so stupid. I didn’t like that, us fighting, us not talking. It just feels like … a storm sometimes. In my head, and it scares me when I’m not in control.”

His hand finds hers in the dark, “I know you were just trying to protect me. I was just mad at myself because I feel like it’s my job to protect you, and I wasn’t doing that.”

She squeezes his hand. “Maybe it’s not okay…” she starts, “but just know I understand, and that I’m always going to be here.”

She looks at him then, reaching up and finding his chin, turning it gently.

“And we protect each other, okay?” There’s a desperation in her voice that he picks up on. One that he understands, deeply.

He gives her wrist a soft squeeze, “okay.”

Then he’s curling into her, and she lets him. It’s silent for another moment before y/n breaks it this time.

“JJ?” she says quietly.

He’s barely awake but he still answers her with a tired “Mhm?”

She hesitates, “to the moon and to Saturn.” She backs out, but the unspoken meaning is still there.

He smiles.

“You are my Saturn.

EIGHTEEN

please, picture me in the weeds, before i learned civility, i used to scream ferociously … any time i wanted

y/n blinks and suddenly it’s graduation. She’s never been happier, a swirl of excitement and pride all in one stirring in her stomach. For herself and everyone but mostly for JJ. Things had been okay enough, but no one could deny the hand JJ had been dealt. He faced it every day, the sideway looks and the backhanded comments and the flat-out insults. But he had done it, proved them all wrong.

Luke had even made it to the ceremony, sitting tucked away in the back as he watched his son walk the stage, and afterward y/n eyes them as they had a conversation before finally parting ways.

JJ runs over to the rest of the group, scooping up y/n and spinning her around, cheering and causing a scene.

“We did it, we’re done!” He’s yelling, “we’re free!”

They continue to chat for a while and joke around, taking photos until the parents are all satisfied before parting ways with plans to meet back up at the beach later in the night.

JJ goes home with y/n and her parents, where there’s a small celebration set up for the pair. They eat cake and flip through old scrapbooks and photo albums. He’s happy, but there’s a sting in his chest, wishing his mom was there.

He imagines briefly, what it would have been like had his dad never changed, if he would have been there in the living room with them, or if he would have had his own afternoon planned. He decides not to dwell on it, instead, he wraps his arms around her from behind on the couch. He focuses on her, and her parents, the photo album of past memories. He understands he’s still lucky.

It gets later, and before JJ and y/n leave for the beach her parents call them into the kitchen again, they have something for JJ. He blushes at the statement, although he tries to hide it. He’s handed a small box and is shocked when he sees a silver key sitting inside.

“We hope we aren’t overstepping,” your mom starts, “really, it’s a bit overdue but we just thought - we just want you to know you’re welcome here anytime.”

Her father places a firm hand on his shoulder when he sees JJ getting choked up, “just if you ever need anything. Hell, if you ever just want to come bother us. You know you’re family.”

He laughs a bit, trying to lighten the mood, shaking his head, “Aw man, now you guys got me all emotional.”

Then he looks up at her father, “thank you, really.” And then he turns to her mother too, and she pulls him into a hug that he gladly accepts. “This means a lot to me, really… I don’t … I don’t know what I would’ve done without you guys. Where I’d be… just, thank you.” He tells her.

“You don’t need to thank us, honey. We’ll always be here to take care of you.”

The moment passes, he pulls away, clearing his throat in an attempt to hide his emotional state and he turns to y/n. “Alright, soaps over.” He announces, “you ready to go?”

They make their way to the beach, talking about summer along the way. JJ keeps listing all the things he wants everyone to do together before it’s time to part for school.

They find a spot on the beach, sitting and talking about how strange it is to be done with high school, and the future. Everyone is leaving, even John B. But JJ and y/n decided to stay close to home, not ready to leave yet.

“After college,” he says, “that’s when it’ll be time to go.”

“You would leave Outer Banks?” She asks, slightly shocked.

“Yea.” He says, confused as to why she was so shocked at his statement

“I’ve always said that, why the face?” He questions.

She looks down, realizing that he was right, he had always said that. She never thought about it in detail, never pressed him on it. Maybe she thought all this time that he never really meant it. Everyone always says they want to leave their hometown but how often did they really?

“nothing it’s just, something I heard Luke say once.”

She catches the way his face drops and she tries to backtrack

“No, no, it was nothing bad I promise. I heard him say ‘you know you won’t leave her’ and I don’t know, it’s just the only thing I’d ever agree on with Luke. That you wouldn’t leave your mom behind, and I understand that. You could build something better, be something better.”

He has a pained look on his face, his hand reaching up to the Saturn around his neck.

“Did you mean what you said, about me being a part of my mom?”

She rests a hand on his shoulder, “of course I did JJ. Everyone knows. You’re the best parts of her.”

“Then it won’t matter where I go. She’ll always be with me.”

Then the look on his face turns into a smirk.

“Besides,” he starts, “it wasn’t my mom he was talking about.”

y/n pulls her arm back from JJ’s, retreating into her own space.

“Oh.” She says simply, starting to wonder who would keep him tied here.

The only other girl he really had in his life was Kiara, and they had been awfully close this past year. She had even gifted him a locket for his seventeenth birthday and it now sat right next to his Saturn charm. It took everything in her not to ask what it was, her curiosity was killing her but she respected his privacy more. But truthfully, y/n couldn’t blame JJ even if she wanted to. Kiara was special, she wouldn’t want to leave her either. She didn’t want to leave any of them.

And then y/n started to realize that she always thought it would be her and JJ. Whenever she imagined the future, JJ was there too. She was realizing that maybe it was selfish of her to just assume he’d always be there. She knew he had dreams of his own, and who was to say that she was involved in any of them?

“Hey now,” he starts when he notices the change in her demeanor, grabbing at her face and pushing at the corner of her lips, playfully trying to force a smile.

“Why’s my y/n so sad?” He says with a pout, putting on a dramatic voice like he’s talking to a hurt child.

She pushed his hands away, trying to look annoyed but failing miserably, not being able to control the smile that follows her laugh.

“Well I’m sorry, my best friend just dropped a bomb that he has some mystery woman he’d follow to the ends of the earth. I guess I’m just a piece of moldy bread to you now, huh? I’ve been replaced.”

She overplays her sadness, saying it dramatically, but truthfully deep down a part of her is hurting at the thought.

His hands have moved to the side of her face.

“Come on now y/n, you’re supposed to be the smart one.”

She places her own hands on his, turning her head to the side slightly in question.

“Oh my god y/n,” he laughs, “are you going to make me say it?”

She remains silent, her face reflecting her deeper confusion, wondering what he was on about. She honestly felt like she had missed something, feeling like he had moved on to a whole new topic all together.

“It’s you, you big dummy!” He exclaims, shaking her a bit to emphasize his point.

Suddenly y/n is shocked and embarrassed, moving her head down, trying to hide from JJ’s gaze.

He laughs again and pulls her in, “I would never leave you y/n. You’re stuck with me.”

She doesn’t reply, but she doesn’t need to, instead, she lets him tuck her into his chest. Her eyes land on that locket of his, and she can’t stop her fingers from playing with the charm.

Then suddenly his hand is running up her arm and grabbing hers.

“Why don’t you just ask already?” He says and she immediately freezes. “I know you want to know.”

She still doesn’t say anything but she shrugs her shoulders a bit. Yes, y/n was dying to know what was in the locket but part of her also felt it was an unspoken line that she shouldn’t cross. It was Kiara that had given it to him, so it was probably something that meant a lot to the two of them, and she didn’t want to pry at their relationship.

Of course, he would tell her if she asked but she never let herself.

“Just open it y/n.”

She looks up at him, still hesitant. But the look on his face reassures her, so she pinches open the locket and immediately smiles when she sees the photo inside. That photo from that fourth of July all those years ago, sitting with his mom on the banket, marshmallow all over his face. She can’t help the bittersweet tears that prick at her eyes, thinking about all that JJ had accomplished, and wishing more than anything that his mother had been there to see it.

Then silently JJ reaches up and opens the locket the rest of the way, and when y/n sees the photo on the other side it feels like all the air has been sucked out of her. It’s a photo of him and her from when they were little, looking like it’s from the same night. There they were, standing next to each other with wide eyes and beaming smiles, sparklers in hand. Trails of light surrounded the sparklers, the children unable to keep them still.

And that was when y/n knew. She knew that it would always be the two of them, somehow and someway. She knew that she would go wherever he wanted or needed to go at the drop of a hat and that he too would follow her without hesitation. And most of all she knew she was lucky. She knew how lucky she was to have someone like JJ in her life.

She closes the locket with tears in her eyes, and rests her palm on his chest, feeling his heart beat wildly. When she finally looks up she sees him tearing up too. She reaches up and wraps her arms around him, holding onto him tightly and he does the same.

“I love you JJ.”

He squeezes her tighter for a moment.

“I love you too y/n.”

And maybe the words meant more to both of them. It seemed like over the years that the lines between loving platonically and loving romantically had blurred. Best friends, soulmates, twin flames, they were always something to each other. But the one thing that they did know was that they had time. They had so much time to figure it out and neither were in a rush to figure it out. What they were now was good, who were they to question it?

TWENTY-TWO

sweet tea in the summer, cross my heart won’t tell no other, and though i can’t recall your face i still got love for you, pack your dolls and a sweater, we’ll move to india forever … passed down like folk songs our love last so long

It’s Friday night and the Fourth of July. y/n has been cleaning the apartment all day, needing everything to be perfect. Everyone lived busy lives now, but they were coming tonight to celebrate. She even decorated. A few balloons tied to chairs and red, white, and blue streamers hanging from the doorway.

She hears the front door opening but doesn’t look up from the counter she was wiping down.

“Are you still cleaning? It’s just the pogues y/n, relax.”

“I know,” She says, folding the last blanket and placing it on the edge of the couch “I just want it to be nice. It’s all going to be so different soon.”

There’s a beat of silence and a bittersweet tension hanging in the air.

“Why are you home so late?” She asks, changing the subject quickly.

He lifts the grocery bag in his hand, “beer” he says simply.

She rolls her eyes. “JJ, we have plenty of beer.”

She starts walking towards the kitchen and JJ trails behind her, pulling the pack of beer out of the bag.

“Oh y/n, you can never have too much beer.” He places the pack in the fridge and then starts taking out a few more items.

“Plus, we can’t do the fourth without our favorite.”

She smiles at the contents on the counter, “how could I forget the s’mores?”

JJ turns back to her and puts his hands on her shoulders.

“Because you’re in overdrive, and stressing yourself out. Go take a nap before they get here. You’ve been up all day and I know you had a late night, you’re tired.”

“No, I was going to make some snacks and -” She protests.

“You don’t need to make anything, Kie said she’s bringing dinner from The Wreck.”

“Well, what about the fireworks?”

“John B has it covered”

“What about -”

JJ cuts her off again, “everything is done y/n, we’re ready for tonight. Go rest.”

She pulls him in, wrapping her arms around him.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

She looks up at him, admiring him for a moment. It was something she caught herself doing often, and if he noticed he never commented on it.

College had been kind to JJ. Once he got a handle on it he thrived in the freedom of it. They were coming up on a year since graduation, and JJ had since shed his childlike habits. He was still himself, the light of the party and loud and still sometimes impulsive but underneath it all, he was a man now. It was evident in the way he carried himself now, broader and more confident. He took his life seriously and was happy to do so.

She smiles up at him, “I’ll take a nap if you come with me.” And when she looks at him with those eyes of hers, JJ simply cannot resist.

“Okay, come on.”

They walk over to the couch, JJ picks up the blanket and unravels it before laying down.

“JJ! I just folded that.” She says, slightly irritated but laying down nearly on top of him anyways.

He only rolls his eyes at the comment, dropping the blanket over them and wrapping his arms around her, y/n melting into him as soon as he does.

Minutes of silence pass, and JJ thinks she’s fallen asleep until she speaks up.

“Are we sure about this?”

“y/n, we’ve spent months talking about this. I promise you we’re doing the right thing, okay?”

She sighs, knowing deep down that he was right, so she lets herself relax and catch up on the much-needed sleep.

-------

Hours later and the night has finally begun. They’re all sitting in the living room, chatting. JJ and y/n exchange a look, and they know it’s time. 

“Alright guys, we have something to tell you all.” Her smile is spreading, but she still turns to JJ for reassurance. He takes her hand in his and the pair turn back to the group.

“We’re moving.” They both spit out at the same time. 

The other four drop their mouths in shock, it wasn’t the news they thought they were getting, but it was still enough of a bomb to catch them completely off guard. 

But the speechless shock only lasts a brief moment before they start bombarding the pair with questions.

“Okay, okay!” y/n shouts, trying to calm all the voices talking over each other. 

“San Francisco, California. That’s where we’re going. I got a job offer and JJ found a few places hiring where he can teach surfing lessons.”

Kiara and Sarah are nearly jumping from excitement, pulling her into a hug. 

“y/n, that’s amazing!” 

“Congrats, baby!” 

“When do you have to be there?” 

y/n’s smile drops and she pulls away. 

“Well, that's the thing…” She starts, glancing towards JJ again, and that’s when he steps in. 

“Our lease for here is up at the end of this month anyway …” 

“You’re moving across the country in less than a month?” 

“We didn’t think it was going to move this fast but things just seemed to line up that way…” 

...

After the excitement and explanation, they’ve migrated into two separate groups, the boys still lingering in the living room. 

“So that’s not the announcement we thought we were getting tonight,” Pope says, nudging JJ. 

JJ looks at him confused, “what do you mean?” He asks. 

“He means,” John starts, sitting up, “when are you gonna ask y/n to marry you?” 

JJ nearly chokes on his drink at that, even spitting a bit of it out. 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He asks, “we’re not even dating.” 

The other two glance at each other for a moment before back at him.

“What?” 

“What?” The other two echo back, just as confused. 

“And I thought two of my best friends moving across the country was going to be the biggest news of the night,” John says, taking a swig from his beer. 

“What have you two been doing the past five years then?” Pope asks.

“We’re just … She’s my best friend, you guys know that.” 

“But aren’t you guys more than that?” John asks. “You know, you could have told us you’ve been dating since high school and we’d believe it. You really aren’t together?” 

JJ shakes his head, trying to explain what he doesn’t fully understand himself. 

“No, not like that. We’re just… we’re JJ and y/n. Like we’ve always been.” 

The other two share a small laugh. 

“What?” The blonde asks.

“It was never JJ and y/n,” Pope answers. “It was always jjandy/n.”

“Have you guys really never?” He pries. “... At all? Anything? This whole time? Have you talked about it ever?” Pope continues as JJ shakes his head.

“No… we haven’t, we’ve never had to. I just know I’m always going to have her, and she’s always going to have me. We’ve never questioned or talked about how or in what way.”

“But what are you going to do if she meets someone? If you meet someone? Will you move out? Do you two even know how to function without the other?” Pope spits the questions out at a rapid-fire, genuinely curious.

“Of course, we can function without each other, we aren’t codependent.” JJ sighs, taking a breath, “I don’t know what’s going to happen if we meet people, we’ve never had that problem. She’s never mentioned guys past a hook up so I don’t know.”

“And what about you? What if you meet a girl?”

“I don’t know! Good god, what’s with the third degree?”

“You’ve seriously never thought about the future?” John presses. 

“Not in, that sense I guess.”

“Okay, here, close your eyes. Don’t give me that look, come on just close them.”

JJ rolls his eyes but does as he’s asked. 

“Okay, now, imagine yourself five, maybe even ten years from now. What do you see?”

“I don’t know… I just - I just see y/n.” 

…

In the kitchen, Kiara and Sarah are giving y/n a similarly hard time, although it seems to be phasing her a little less. 

“You know we totally thought the two of you were going to tell us that you were finally engaged, right?” 

y/n rolls her eyes at Sarah, jumping up onto the counter to sit, “I’ve told you guys, we aren’t even dating. I don’t know where you keep getting that.” 

“Still?” Sarah nearly shouts, “You guys still aren’t dating?” 

“Ha!” Kiara cuts in before y/n can reply, “You owe me ten bucks.” 

“Oh, so you guys are betting on us now?” 

“Sarah’s betting.” Kiara says, “I’m making a profit.”

The other two are still standing, leaning against the counter inches away from y/n.  

“What have the two of you been doing this whole time?” Sarah starts asking. “I thought for sure after we graduated college the two of you would finally get together.” 

“They’re their own thing, Sarah, I keep trying to tell you.”

“But you guys are basically together, aren’t you? Is it just a ‘we don’t want to put a label on it’ thing?” Sarah presses.

“No, we aren’t together romantically at all. As I’ve said, I don’t know why it’s so shocking to everyone whenever I remind you.” 

“But do you want to be?” Kiara asks, shifting the tone of the conversation a bit. 

“I don’t know.” She says quietly, thinking it over. 

“I mean, Sarah is right you guys have been together for, well your whole lives really. You guys are moving across the country together. The two of you are pretty much starting your lives together. What if he brings someone home? What if you meet someone?” 

y/n just shrugs, starting to feel the tingling of emotions. 

“To be honest with you, I don’t like to think about it. I mean I’ve dated here and there, and I know JJ has too but it never became anything serious for either of us.” 

That day on the beach all those years ago had been enough to hold her over. The thought of always being together in some way, but now that they were getting older and a new part of life was starting, would that hold true? 

“I just know I want him in my life.” She continues, “I mean, I think part of me always did think that maybe we’d end up together but… I don’t know I just, I guess I just want to make sure we’re together because we want to be, not because we’re all we’ve ever known. Sometimes I get scared that we’re holding each other back, that there’s something or someone we’re missing out on.” 

She looks back up at the two girls, shaking her head at her emotions that seem to be building up. 

“But most of all I just want him to be happy you know? I need to be prepared if it’s not with me. I guess I don’t know. I don’t even know what I’m saying.” 

Sarah places a hand on y/n’s shoulder comfortingly. 

“No, we get it. I think a lot of this is just anxiety from the move, from this big life change coming up. I can tell you, the one thing that’s never going to change is you and JJ. You guys are absolutely not holding each other back. Trust me, one of us would have said something if we were worried.” 

“You can’t see it from the outside.” Kiara jumps in. “It’s not always bad to have someone like you have JJ. Never once have either of you held each other back. You’ve always brought out the best in him and he’s always brought out the best in you.” 

“You really think so?” She asks, looking between the both of them. 

They both nod, pulling the girl into a group hug best they can, just as the boys are walking back in from the living room. 

“Hey!” JJ immediately shouts, walking over to the three girls. “Which one of you made my y/n cry?” 

Sarah wordlessly moves from her side and next to Kiara, making space next to y/n for JJ to slide into, sending a look to Kiara at the words my y/n while doing so. 

“Kiara was telling me a story about work.” y/n says quickly. “You know how I get about the turtles.” 

“Oh yes,” He says, lifting a hand and wiping away the few tears, “that would explain it.” 

“What about you boys?” She asks, nodding at Pope and John as well, “What were you all gossiping about, huh?” 

“John was telling me all about the fireworks he brought. You ready to go light ‘em up?” 

She jumps down from the counter excitedly. 

“Yes, let’s go!” She says, grabbing the large plate that contained chocolate and graham crackers in one hand and a large bag of marshmallows and skewers in the other. 

The rest of them follow the pair out, watching as JJ takes the plate from y/n so she doesn’t have her hands full. 

“Okay,” Sarah says, “I’d put money on a year from now.” 

“Oh my god, Sarah,” Kiara says, giving her a playful shove. 

The rest of the night is good, y/n makes sure to take a moment to let it sink in, all their smiles and all their laughs. 

They set off fireworks, and sparklers, throw poppers at each other’s feet, watch the boys run from one another with roman candles in hand, and JJ and y/n eat their weight in s’mores. The night runs longer than intended, especially since the girls decided to bring the alcohol back out. 

Finally, long after the night has settled and everyone has lingered for as long as they can, the group starts to say goodbye to each other. Dishes and trash are brought back inside, excess fireworks and belongings collected, and goodbyes dragged out until JJ and y/n are left in their apartment.

y/n lets out a long sigh, feeling the night and the drinks and the reality of them leaving catch up to her. It felt a lot more real now that they had told their closest friends. 

JJ notices her lingering by the door and tugs her gently on the arm. 

“Hey, you wanna sleep with me tonight?” 

She nods silently, a grateful smile on her lips. 

“Go change and meet me in there, okay?” 

She moves a little bit slower than usual, weighed down by exhaustion, doing the bare minimum to get ready for bed, simply changing her clothes and brushing her teeth lazily before pulling her hair up and walking to JJ’s room. 

He’s just climbing into bed and she follows without hesitation, curling into him. She thinks about how easy it is with JJ, or maybe natural is the better word. Everything just is with him. 

He notices the way she’s holding his hand tightly and to her chest.

“Hey,” he starts softly, “you know if … if you’re second guessing this whole move, just say it and we’ll stay. Or… just tell me and I’ll stay.” 

“No,” she says quickly, holding him even tighter now. “It’s not that…” She pauses, trying to gather her words and her courage. 

“It’s just, you know that I love you, right? But do you know that I love you?” 

JJ thinks he can’t breathe and worries for a second that his heart beating as fast as it is can’t be healthy. He wonders for a moment if he’s already fallen asleep and if this is all just a dream. 

Because this is the moment he’s been waiting for his whole life.

“I’m starting my life with you. Moving all the way across the country… away from our home, our family, and our best friends. But the thing is, as hard as I know it’s going to be … I don’t care. Because I’ll be with you, JJ. I’ll have you. I don’t want anything else. Anyone else. I never have.” 

It’s more of a confirmation than anything else.

There’s a moment of silence, and she holds her breath. Then another, while JJ tries to find his words. His mind races, processing her precious words. Pieces of their life together flash through his mind.

He’s crying before he can stop himself, overwhelmed.

“Just… come here.” He says desperately, pulling her in and locking her into his hold. 

“You’re going to make me cry.” She says, muffled in his chest. 

If it was anyone else, maybe the tears would be alarming. She would’ve read the situation differently, and taken it as a rejection. 

But it was JJ. And tonight is more of a confirmation than a confession. 

He pulls her even closer, tightens his grip in hopes of emphasizing his words, and just how much he means it. 

“I never told you outright, but you had to have known, right?… that it was always going to be you? I’ve never been good with my words but I hope I’ve shown you. I hope you’ve felt it this whole time. How important you are to me. How much I love you.” 

She escapes his grip, pulling away only so she can see his face. 

“I have never felt anything but loved by you JJ.” 

And then JJ blacks out he thinks. Or maybe it was just a mind-numbing rush of adrenaline. Or maybe it was natural instinct that had been lying dormant this whole time, just waiting for the right moment. 

Because one second he was staring at her glossy eyes, and the next his lips had found hers. 

Finally. 

It’s soft and slightly desperate, dizzying and intoxicating. 

A sensation that both of them had been the feeling they had simply been waiting for their whole lives. 

They only break away to relieve the burning in their lungs. 

“Say it,” she begs softly, a little out of breath and a little drunk on JJ. 

His mind is in a haze, a smile still adorning his lips as he tries to get back to hers. “I love you.” 

“No,” She says, pulling on him to get as close as possible, “the other one. Tell me again.” 

He doesn’t even hesitate, knowing what she means in an instant. 

“You’re my Saturn, y/n.” 

She smiles into his chest, “again.” 

His hand finds her cheek, guiding her face to look up at him. 

“You are my Saturn.” 

“Never stop saying it?” 

He kisses her again, then pulls her back into his side, tucking her into the spot that she’s always belonged in. 

“Never.” 

[llamagoddessofficial]

@aka-indulgence had the GALL to talk to me about their Moon God concept. how dare u rope me into this, you know how much I love writing Gods

---

"... I think you'd like the Earth," she said, softly.

... The chains clinked gently, as the restrained God cocked his head to the side. Despite how her warm starlight bathed his body, his own glow remained cold and grey, far older and deeper light than hers.

A cruel, crescent smile worked its way onto his face. "i thought you said you knew what i did, little comet."

Her lip turned. Oh, how he loved when her pretty face frowned... something so beautiful, trying so hard to be unpleasant, and instead appearing even sweeter.

"The Earth is wonderful." She repeated, stubbornly, to the monster that had tried to destroy it all. Her hair floated around her, like nebulae clouding in deep space.

He leaned forward. Suddenly, the chains began to strain- despite the brave face she quickly put on he saw her flinch, he saw her light flicker, dimming in fear. She was a brave thing, of course... but she was still smart, and when the lunar God drew nearer the urge to flee was written all over her.

"you've never seen a world without light, have you, my star?" Shadows as deep as silence began to mar his gleeful face and giant body. "of course not, not when you are light. but did you ever think about how things might look when you're not there? do you and your sisters, and your damned mother, ever think about how different everything is when you're not there to encourage its mindless love? the earth isn't such a wonderful place. especially not when it's got enough darkness to hide in."

She had frozen. She stared at him with wide, glittering eyes. His own eyelights were sharp and small, old moons in the arms of the new.

He sat back. "well. that's just my thoughts. and i-"

.... Suddenly, warmth washed over him- her eyebrows shot up and she rounded on him like a spitting fire, her glow red hot. "What do you know about the Earth!?"

Sans startled, blinking and drawing back in surprise; flashing blue and violet colours suddenly filled the room, a little supernova of emotion bursting out of her. She approached his bars, voice echoing as loud as a little God's voice could.

"Don't mistake my silence for contemplation, Moon." She flared. "And forgive my insolence, but haven't you been sitting in a cave for... what, a few hundred thousand years? What do you know about the Earth, you fool? And don't tell me about mindless mortal love, stars do nothing! We guide sailors if we're lucky, and we end up trapped as mortal wives if we're not! There are creatures who run from the sun, whose whole lives revolve around your light, and you lecture me about..."

...

Her glow started to dim, becoming gentler and whiter, as she looked at the gleeful and exhilarated expression on his face. By the way her eyes widened, and her breaths softened, she seemed to be slowly remembering who she was talking to.

"... A-about..." She stepped back from the bars. Her light was dimming further and further. "About... u-uhm..."

... No small amount of panic was written on her face. The little Goddess looked like she was about to turn and flee.

He had to stop himself from pulling forward and frightening her. no. don't go. don't leave. it's dark without you.

...

Sans raised his face, slightly. "there are creatures who live by moonlight?"

... She let out a small breath. "Y... yes. There are many."

"it has..." He glanced to the side, struggling in admitting his shortcoming... struggling in sacrificing his pride in the hopes she'd stay. "... it has been a long time, since i saw the earth. things have perhaps moved on more without me than i realised."

"Perhaps." She said, with the last of her anger.

...

"... would you tell me about them?" His gaze was a strange type of soft that she'd never seen before. "the creatures, living in the night?

... That clearly surprised her. It was her turn to cock her head, the motion made him want to cup her like a firefly.

"Of... of course." She drew in closer again. "There are many...

He relaxed, as she started to speak. She didn't know it wasn't her proximity that made him start to shine a little bit brighter.

[mikasa-imadebiscults]

Hello, hello! I hope you’re doing well and are having a nice end to your weekend. If your matchups are still open, may I request a matchup for JJK and AOT?

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: straight

Zodiac/MBTI/Enneagram/Hogwarts house (bc why tf not?): Leo, INFJ, 1w9, Ravenclaw

Appearance: long wavy auburn hair and my eyes are more of a honey brown. I always wear round glasses. I'm pale with freckles on my cheeks and nose. 5’9, more of an hourglass shape and have a bit of muscle. If I wear makeup, I like keeping it subtle. I often just apply eye makeup and stick to shades of purple, gold, and orange.

Aesthetic: I mostly wear black and white, but I have some lilac in my wardrobe. In summer I typically wear long, flowy dresses with a jean jacket and combat boots, and when it’s colder I prefer slacks, sweaters, and combat boots.

Personality: Making an effort to understand myself and others is important to me, so that leads to long periods of pondering my actions, as well as others’. I love having me time, though I enjoy being with those close to me from time to time. I love discussing topics that revolve around enigmas. It’s not as important to have others agree with me as it is to explore the unknown with them. Since I’m reserved, I take a long time to open up to others. I’m gentle but can be (unintentionally) intimidating. I’m adventurous and have completed a dream of mine – living/working in a country that doesn’t speak my native language. I actively search for things to be thankful for. I'm easily flustered, clumsy, athletic, and conscientious. My humor is witty and sarcastic. Every now and then, I like listening to the branches being rustled by the wind and being able to gaze up at the moon and stars shining brightly, which remind me that there's a lot of beauty in the world, and I'm glad to experience it. I am happiest when seeking out information/reason. I’m really kinda superstitious…

Likes and Dislikes: I like practicing the languages I know, demonology, biology, genealogy, reading, museums, Victorian history, singing, alternative rock, and exploring my surroundings. A large portion of what I read/watch relates to the occult. Although I used to play the piano and was extremely talented, I still admire it and may want to get back into it in the future. I dislike storms, large bodies of water, and people who always turn disagreements into arguments. 

Hobbies: Writing horror stories, DnD, reading, singing, listening to music, watching horror movies, and yoga. As an avid horror fan, animated movies are for sure a guilty pleasure of mine. Coco is 10/10 for a good cry.

Pets: I don’t have any pets, but I’m a massive cat person. I love all animals, although I just feel like cats and I get each other.

Type: In terms of physical appearance, I find many features attractive and don’t have a type. However, personality wise I can handle a lot in a partner/friend but not one who belittles others. I’m someone who can laugh at myself, so I appreciate when my partner/friends can do the same. This may be super basic, but I’m the kind of person who’s very supportive of their friends/partner and just wants that in return. Too many people I’ve met have tried to take advantage of that. Speaking of which, my ideal partner would need to have a backbone and healthy boundaries. I’m not usually romantically interested in people pleasers ^^’ (NSFW related) I much prefer being dominated and feeling out of control. I get stressed a lot, so giving someone control over me in the bedroom is *chefs kiss. I’m kinda kinky and also very vocal ^^’. I try to be as open as possible with my partner, especially when it comes to intimacy and welcome discussions about what we like/don’t like.

Love languages: words of affirmation and acts of service. I love cuddling and hugging but sometimes need my space. Same with spending time together, I love it but I need time to recharge, too. I don’t really like gifts just because I feel like I owe them. That being said, I will still appreciate and adore anything they give me. It’s sweet to know that they were thinking of me.

(HEY I AM ALIVE I SWEAR! I really hope you enjoy this and have a great day!)

I match you with..

Gojo Satoru

- He likes that you get easily flustered, often times he teases you.

- Always gives you the biggest hugs.

- One day he took your glasses and put them on then asked if he looked good in them (hopefully he didn’t break them)

- He’s great at acts of service. He loves taking you out places, he reassures you that you don’t owe him anything.

- When you two are watching horror movies together, he will try and startle you. If he succeeds, he will be laughing his ass off.

- Likes to jam out to music with you.

- He listens to you talk about demonology, he always says something like “Yeah I can defeat them in a fight.”

- If he’s scrolling through social media and finds a video about cats, he thinks of you and sends them to you. (Most of them will be funny videos, like cats attacking their owners)

- The first time he heard you sing he was like “I didn’t know you could sing” in a teasing way.

Armin Arlert

- He is glad that you love to seek out information because he can relate.

- He’s really good at words of affirmation. Ever feeling insecure about your relationship or other things? He’ll be right there ready to make those feelings disappear.

- Prefers horror stories over horror movies but he doesn’t mind watching them with you. He enjoys when you talk about the horror stories that you make.

- You two love to star gaze together, pointing out all the unique looking stars above you, listening to the sounds of nature and feeling the cool air.

- He likes to take you to museums, and even go somewhere new that you both never been to before.

- He would love to adopt a cat with you, but before that he wants to make sure that he’s prepared to take care of a cat (cause cats be wild sometimes-)

Masterlist

[subduethedragon]

Chaos Theory Primer

WHAT IS THIS:

An AU of an AU.

Once upon a time, I came up with a fighting game AU, where a bunch of series I like crossover. While this involves plenty of logistically questionable mechanics/character movesets, it also involves a story and Lore (TM)

Eventually, I decided to turn that fighting game AU into a story. As I am still on Act 1 of 3 and it’s been a year or two since the previous part, you can tell that that is going swimmingly. But, I got the idea for DLC for this AU. Eventually, as I picked up some new interests, and got deeper into the lore side of things, this escalated into what I like to call a “side B/Reverse-Side” of the AU: It’s still got the same fundamental key elements (with some new ones thrown in) but it’s gotten far beyond that: More SRW than fighting game, so to say.

Will I actually be writing this?

I dunno. I’ve got enough fics that I should be working on but aren’t. This project is just as much to unload the concepts in my head as it is to have it out there in some form. One could also argue that it’s also a bit much for a mediocre fanfic writer to handle.

If I get any particular ideas that I got an itch to write (I do have one idea in the wings, in fact) then I’ll definitely go for it.

But as is, think of this as more of a frame work. Maybe something akin to a TTRPG setting or something.

THE PLOT:

There is an overaching plot to Chaos Theory, as well as three different throughlines. Said throughlines aren’t fully thought out in regards to how they interact with the main plot so how it all shakes together at this point in time is… not too developed (cue AUs of an AU of an AU).

The overarching plotline revolves a mysterious space known as The Fantasy World or Minus World. This space twists and warps, creating new realms or shortcuts into existing ones. The result is a labyrinth, and later an “ocean” of structures such as shrines. This is due to the space being a hotbed for various types of energy, such as Star Power, Moon Power and especially Chaos Power.

Through some method, a warlock by the name of Xande found himself in the labyrinth. Seeking to recover his immortality, Xande began toying with the energies at play. While he was fruitless in directly making use of it, he came to understand the nature of the Chaos Emeralds, the Master Emerald and the space-time abilities of the rings. Thus, Xande began to experiment with the rings in hopes of drawing the emeralds to him.

Perhaps by fate, perhaps by coincidence, two parties found themselves within the labyrinth: The Warrior of Light, his four vassals and one of their allies, all of whom stood opposed to Xande previously, and an organization from the World of Darkness known as “World’s Eye” who bear similarities to the “Dark Cloud tribe”, a group of cloud-like aliens who control and corrupt planets, their callsign being their leader’s singular crimson eye.

However, not knowing of Xande’s presence, the two forces assumed that the other was up to some neferious plot. In the end, the Warriors of Light attempted to use Chaos Power against World’s Eye. However, it backfired and the four vanished. At the same time, five new structures arose in the Fantasy World: A treasure filled dungeon, a scholar castle, a lava-filled weapons forge, a manor atop a massive mountain range and a tower made of crystal, the lattermost of which creating a sea of light that makes entry towards it difficult, if not near impossible. One could also see massive airships flying around the space...

To make matters worse, Xande caught wind of his enemies being in the labyrinth and was able to secure biocells from them to create clones to search the world for anything useful. Mostof the clones are focused on their objectives, but other clones seem to be more self-interested. Then there are those that are so independent that it’s questionable if they came from Xande...

Time passes. Word soon spreads of the mysterious “Minus World”. Eventually it catches the attention of certain people. Some are explorers, such as Mag Launcher and Linear Cannon from Pannam Town or Rock Volnutt of the Skylands. It also catches the attention of power hungry people in high places, such as King Bowser of the Koopa Kingdom of Dr. Robotnik of the Eggman Empire. Some people enter for their own personal missions, such as Alex Kidd (& Stella!) of Radaxian, who enters in pursuit of the Bloom; A greedy star who has stolen the stars of planet Aeries. And finally, there are those who find themselves in the labyrinth purely by accident.

With so many people in such a place, chaos inevitably follows...

The three other plotlines/throughlines are as follows:

Plot A: A greedy Star known as the Bloom is absorbing all of the stars in the universe. When Planet Aries’ stars are absorbed, Alex and his good friend Stella set forth into the Fantasy World in order to stop it. But the Bloom isn’t the only villain who has their eyes to the stars…

Plot B: The age of Adventure is alive and well as all manner of diggers and adventurers strive to uncover the lost secrets of ancient civilizations. When the Launcher Clan (Mag Launcher and Linear Cannon) and Rock Volnutt find themselves in the labyrinth, they begin to discover a link between the ever present rings and Chaos Energy. Of course, while navigating the strange new world and unlocking the secrets, they’ll have to contend with ancient mechanisms, imperial forces and sky pirates and even secrets from their pasts...

Plot C: The odd interdimensional nature of the Labyrinth leads to some unforeseen results. When Kirby & Klonoa find themselves at an intersection between awakening and dreams, the two become fast friends. However, they quickly discover a threat that puts the dreams of all in jeopardy and the two set off to protect all good dreams everywhere. However, a certain Wizard is lurking in the shadows and is determined to make Klonoa’s greatest dream into a Nightmare of a reunion…

INVOLVED SERIES:

This rank has three categories to it; “Definitely” means that I envision it as a staple part of the AU. “Maybe” means that, had I been writing this for real, the series probably or probably not would’ve stayed. “Probably” just exists for the game that I want to include but haven’t actually played yet.

Definitely: Mario, Sonic, Kirby, Evolution/Evolutia, Mega Man**

Probably: Skies of Arcadia/Eternal Arcadia***

Probably Not: Pokemon, Legend of Zelda, Madou Monogatari* ***

* Probably the least likely on that list, but I’m putting it there anyway.

** The original AU this is based on had X as the Mega Man series in question. For Chaos Theory, it has been swapped to Mega Man Legends.

*** Have not played at the time of this writing.

[aaimasqtch]

Ptitheros Worldbuilding - Science

History and Archeology

Ptitheros has a very, very long history, and much of it is still to be discovered. There are mysterious temples, catacombs, and relics found all throughout the world. Some of it can be tied to known ancient cultures, whereas other pieces cannot. Some discoveries are completely foreign to historians, it is unknown if Ptithians were responsible for some of the most confusing artifacts.

This mysterious history makes archeology and documentation a big field of research. There has to be answers lurking somewhere, many of which remain unseen in the endless Archives that line the planet like an underground labyrinth. Some of the Archives records will never be seen because the Cardinals used to expunge information that they saw unfit for their kin to learn. Finding these lost bits requires fieldwork or getting lucky when questioning a lindost. Some historians find it absolutely infuriating that shadows know the history of the entire world but refuse to share it.

Most archeological discoveries are documented and then the fragile relics of history are stored in safe locations in temples or college archives across the kingdom. Museums also get some of these items to put on display, but many of their artifacts that are said to be the most important are actually replicas. This is to protect the real artifact from theft or possible damage by incompetent transporters.

The latest massive archeological breakthrough was the discovery of the End’s Beginning City found below the East Volcanic Inlet (with lithospheric connections to the Scorchland). It confirmed that there was at least one type of kin before the current Ptithians that have been nicknamed the Collosals. However, the strangest discovery in the city is that smaller figures with no recognizable shape appear regularly in murals.

Astronomy and Physics

Ptithians have always been fascinated by space. They knew their Cardinals came from the cosmos and that stars, planets, and other creatures existed far beyond their planet. The Cardinals educated with facts when it came to space, that the world revolved around a sun and the two moons that revolve around the planet were captured from asteroids long, long ago.

A dragon astronomer invented the first telescope and used it to peer at the other planets in the solar system. They made excellent notes about Ptellous, Nere’enk, Payrak, and Ateshue. At the time, Ptellous was believed to be home to giant fire dragons and raining lava, Nere’enk was all clouds from the outside so they thought it was a snowy swampland, Payrak was darkened by radiation so lindosts were believed to live there, and Ateshue was unfortunately too blurry to make out anything useful. That did not stop astronomers from taking guesses that it was where the spirit realms were.

There were well known constellations before the first telescope was made. When telescopes were widely available, astronomers from all over slowly created a map of the night sky with all the labeled constellations and lots of new ones. This created a craze to study the stars further, bringing many more budding astronomers and an interest in astrology.

Astronomy has advanced a lot since then. Ptithians have a vast understanding of their solar system, galaxy, and workings of their universe. So much so, they have grasped a great control over aura to create versatile space travel to explore space even more. The end goal is to map the solar system, reach other galaxies, and potentially find other intelligent life. As of now, only one major space station (Zariel) is running, but another is underway near Ptellous (Sbneth). Sbneth station will have the end goal of constructing a dyson sphere (however the plans for such a thing are far from reality at the moment).

Station Zariel and laboratories on Ptitheros use advanced satellite imaging telescopes to take photos of the distant universe. Meanwhile in observatories resting above the clouds in the mountains of Wyndgale, Howland, and Twincub there are classic astronomers still hard at work.

Ptithians have a great understanding of physics and the natural laws of the universe. Gravity, inertia, the speed of light, frequencies, synchronization, energy transfer, and more have all been studied for a great amount of time. Although even more technologically advanced than humans, the reason their world looks so clean and natural is because of solarpunk ideologies and the energy used (aura) is clean and forever repurposable. The furthering of science is funded by governments, nobility, universities, and taxes.

[charmingbrute]

To put it mildly, it's an awkward situation. She isn't ashamed of her previous affairs or relationships, but things have been… strange between her and Meteor. The line between friendship and something 'more than that' has begun to blur, and she must admit that something new has stirred within her. It's as if she instilled a strange fever inside of her and hasn't been able to cool down or find a proper way to cure it. She has attempted to put some space between them, but the disease worsens as she distances herself from him. She just misses him so much; it's a feeling she both fears and cherishes.

She agreed to meet one of her "special friends" way before her relationship with Meteor took this strange turn. They've known each other for a long time, and while they don't have romantic feelings for each other, they've been quite intimate on numerous occasions. For a long time, she has debated whether or not she should meet him but she eventually decides to show up at their usual meeting spot. As their lips begin to meet several times and her their hands fumble with their clothes, the witch realizes she cannot continue with this masquerade. Meteor's smile appears with each kiss, and with each caress, she recalls the feel of his rough yet soft hands… He's all around her, like the air that enters and exits her lungs. He's the moon's pale reflection, whispering that what she's doing is wrong. He's the faint scent of flowers that transports her back to her true home.

She pushes her companion away and excuses herself before hurrying out of the room. She can't stay here; it's simply not possible. However, as she walks down the corridor, she notices him. He's like a nocturnal sun ; the only light she can see. Her entire system revolves around this burning star. He must have known what had just occurred; he is not an idiot. It doesn't matter why or what he's here for. Now is not the time for inquiries. "Hyperion, wait ----," she thinks as she reaches for his hand without hesitation. When was the last time she addressed him in that manner? Back in the First, when he needed a new name —- a name that was once only his and the shadows'. One name she has secretly begun to adore, with only the moon and stars to witness her devotion. "Don't go." She was able to grab his hand and cling to it as if her life depended on it. The witch is afraid that it is too late; that she has squandered her one and only chance to earn his love —- a love that transcends time and space.

It's melancholic, how he noticed that Y'shtola had been distancing herself from him of late. He could long for their close bond for all the good it would do him, but there's naught he could to prevent it from fading away. He had done his utmost efforts to reconcile and amend their bond if it was ever broken, and yet the gap between them only grew further with time. What's this sadness which filled him? It's not as though they're in a relationship.

There's no commitment to mourn or speak of, and yet... As he walked the halls of the Baldesion Annex, the voice which he had thoroughly been dying to hear was nearby. He made his approach, careful in his every step. If he knew what awaited him, he obviously ignored it.

What a mistake.

He stood there, frozen in shock as he stumbled upon a scene he never expected to see. Through the partially opened door of one of the usually vacant rooms, he saw her entwined in the arms of another person, someone he never thought he had to be worried of, and their bodies intimately close and their lips locked in heated kisses. As they used to be, he thought. A sharp pain lanced through his chest as he had come to realize that he wasn't anyone special in her life. A mixture of anger and heartbreak washed over him as he remained there, watching the unfurling of his worst nightmare. And what of his world? It spun out of control as he grappled with the knowledge that their supposed relationship was not what it appeared to be. The ground had been ripped out from under him, leaving him feeling lost and alone. That's right. He's always been that, huh? Alone. How foolish of him to think it was something more. Ah, he had been caught. He stood at the threshold of the entrance where she just appeared from, his hand gripping at his stomach lightly. He wanted naught more than to leave, to escape the pain and misplaced betrayal he felt. It's not infidelity. She's never been his. Will never be his. This, he knew... but why?

Why did it hurt so much?

The Warrior of Light's heart was torn, protesting against his own conflicting emotions. Must he stay or be gone from good? It trapped him... being caught between the undeniable love he felt for her and the hurt she had caused him. The weight of the moment became palpable as their eyes met, his own shame for deluding himself catching up.

To keep his emotions in check has always been an easy task. However, in the face of this pain? It's taking a huge toll on his well-being. Despute the hurt and sadness that's beginning to drown him, he's determined to remain composed and not let his tears fall. No, it must not be shed. His face turned tense when he spoke, still hoping he could just run away and escape from it all. There's naught he could do. After all, his feet was rooted to the spot by a mix of hurt, anger and... love. So much love, he couldn't breathe. This frustrating situation continued to weigh heavily upon him and he's visibly fighting to keep his emotions under control.

He forced a smile, if only to comfort her. To convey that he'd be alright. It's nothing he wouldn't survive from. "What will that accomplish?" Leave. Leave now. Leave now before it gets any worse. Before he's told the worst of it. Before what remained of himself is further shattered. "I've... I've always known my place by your side. You've naught to explain to me if that's what you're thinking." And likewise, he had naught to tell her in kind. If he's to meet other people, find happiness from their companionship... if he could even dare himself to, then...

"You and I... we're just..." Friends. He couldn't bear to speak to the truth. He wanted to keep lying, to keep that illusion to himself. There's no way around it. He must go and never look back. Never yearn for more. Never want her or anything. "...I have somewhere else to be. I'll see you later, Y'shtola."

[mightyhydrator]

Well, it is the Universe. The Country's belief isn't in a god, in spirits, but in the inevitability of the world taking on a shape irrespective of anyone's choosing. It is a belief that no matter what anyone will do, the stars will continue their predetermined dance millions of years away. That in a year's time your planet will have returned to its place around the Sun, one of billions of suns, regardless of your being there. Belief that everything is merely one small fragment of a greater whole, and thus you are too.

"The Universe leads, you can only follow" is very much an expression of determinism in this context. If you accept the world's material reality, it is impossible to view events as anything but predetermined. While the game doesn't go quite that far, the Country's philosophy very much revolves around this idea -- that the only cards you can play are the ones you get.

This is why the Change God seems to be opposed to the Universe; their philosophy valorises personal will and potential -- with hard work and real desire, one can bring about any Change, thus everyone is responsible for their own actions and their own fate. On the other hand, to the Universe, personal will is nothing. The Universe is you and me and your bed and the ants crawling in the dirt and the asteroids roaming interstellar space. There is no inherent agency in this belief, and thus responsibility for your fate is offloaded to the arbitrary world we exist in.

its true that as the change god i cant help humans much (mostly because i dont want to) i cant help with your petty struggles for survival and stuff but it doesnt matter, because even my little god powers are nothing next to yours!!! the real power comes from you, mirabelle!!! if you decide you can change, thats enough power and belief to do anything (dont even need some silly rituals or anything like SOME OTHER BELIEF OUT THERE)

This is also where Siffrin and Loop's resentment comes from. The Universe leading is, sometimes, terrifying -- life will keep throwing itself at you, and you have no choice but to take it. You are just a character in a play.

(Ooooooh, you followed, you follow, you will follow, but you are tired!) (You are bound to the Universe's will the same way the moon is bound to this planet, the same way this planet is bound to the sun the same way a puppet is bound to its strings!!!!!!)

What script was I following, that kept me from victory?!?

How can you possibly tell the Universe that you suffer? It is Everything; it is no different than talking to a brick wall.

(Broken telescope.) (But it's still part of the Universe, even if it can't see it!) (Aaah, are you still part of the Universe, even if you're broken, too?) (Does the Universe still see you, even when you can't see It?) (The Universe is infinite and always growing, so isn't its compassion infinite as well?!) (Hello! Hello! Hello! You're here! You said it three times, so the Universe must hear!) (But the only thing that answers is silence, as always!)

(You look through it.) (You only see the Universe.) (You take a step back, and look at the walls.) (You only see the Universe, still.)

As you point out, even Wish Craft is an expression of this inevitability: if you say your wish into a leaf three-- six-- thirteen times, fold it over, and let it go, the Universe will make your wish come true as surely as the Sun will rise.

I: But like Sif said, over time, people figured out specific ways to do Wish Craft, to increase their chances of the wish coming true! ... I: Although, it seems the strength of the wish isn't as important as the whole ritual part. I: You can wish as hard as you want for something, but if there's no ritual, it's very likely that nothing will happen.

It isn't a science, exactly. It is a lot like alchemy -- through a lot of superstition, they discovered and codified specific actions one can take to achieve real results. These actions, through your communication with the Universe, will make your wish come true.

It is the one true expression of agency in the belief in the Universe, but even that is conditional: your wish being granted is an inevitable result of your actions. X->Y. You are asking this higher power for succor, but it is the Universe speaking to itself.

Still, wishes aren't always granted directly. The Universe leads, you can only follow. Sometimes, the Universe will tell you, "Your wish is in your hands, now". This is really how we've seen all the wishes be granted. The King's wish for Vaugarde (or to remember?) gave him Time Craft, as did Siffrin's to stay with their family. Vaugarde was given a savior, and Loop was allowed to escape only after they could help themselves.

I... wonder what this means for their belief. It is truly in line with the religion's motto, but the way it manifests is by granting the wisher agency. There is still determinism to it, like I said before, but it's interesting. If wishing is the Universe speaking to itself, then is a wish being granted also the Universe performing to itself? If you are part of the Universe, are you asking yourself for help? I might have to sit on it.

Lastly, people are cautioned from making wishes. "Be careful what you wish for" that we know already. The cold and arbitrary nature of the Universe won't always give you what you need. You are not, ultimately, in control. You borrow from the world, so don't be surprised if the warranty's expired.

(A cautionary tale of some kind, even if you could never remember the moral of the story)

was talking to some friends earlier about the universe and the concept of it being less of a single entity and more of a celestial super computer. it produced this.

[yesterdanereviews]

Moonfall (2022)

Film review #573

Director: Roland Emmerich

SYNOPSIS: K.C. Houseman, a conspiracy theorist, uses a research telescope to confirm his suspicions that the moon's orbit is changing and moving closer to Earth, and will eventually collide with it. NASA eventually confirm the findings and mass panic ensues. They send a rocket up to the moon to investigate, but the shuttle is attacked by a mysterious entity. Brian, an astronaut who was fired in disgrace after a space mission he was on was similarly attacked and no one believed him, leaving his reputation destroyed, is now tasked with one more mission to try and stop the moon from destroying the Earth...

THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Moonfall is a 2022 sci-fi disaster film. The plot, unsurprisingly, revolves around the moon falling to Earth. Conspiracy theorist K.C. Houseman, who believes that the moon is a artificial superstructure, and its orbit is decaying. It turns out he is right, and when NASA confirms it, mass panic sets in across the world. A shuttle mission to investigate the moon is attacked by a strange entity, and destroyed. It turns out to be the same entity former astronaut Brian Harper claimed attacked his mission ten years before, but as no one believed him, and was sacked and his reputation tarnished. His former crewmate Jocinda Fowler, who is now deputy director of NASA, recruits him to lead one more mission to the moon to try and correct the moon's orbit before it collides with the Earth. The film is quite simply a combination of the films Armageddon and Independence Day. In fact, the director Roland Emmerich also directed the latter, so I'm pretty sure it was deliberate. The realism of a disaster film just doesn't work well with the plot about aliens and rogue AI and whatnot, and a lot of stuff is just skimmed over. A lot of the plot points make very little sense, such as why the A.I....thing would just hide in the moon and try to bring it down, rather than attack the planet directly if that it was aiming to do. There doesn't feel like there's much of an attempt for the film to carve out its own identity, rather just picking bits from what previous films have done successfully. Then again, the sheer cheesiness of the plot and setups might make for mindless, entertaining viewing, but it's definitely hard to take it seriously.

The characters are all fairly cookie-cutter with nothing really distinguishable. Brian and Jocinda are just very standard lead roles, and K.C. Houseman provides the comic relief with one-liners that aren't memorable or really funny. The trailer for the film has him respond with a quip after every scene or serious moment without rest, and while it's okay to lighten the mood once in a while, doing this constantly really stops the suspense and story dead in its tracks. The characters also have their own families who are trying to get to safety, providing a perspective from "ordinary" people on the disaster that is unfolding: again, just like Independence Day. None of these characters stand out in particular, and their scenes feel like they're there to pad out the runtime. With the film coming in over two hours and ten minutes, the film definitely feels padded.

When the mission makes it to the inside of the Moon, they discover the inside is a Dyson Sphere: a man made structure with a white dwarf star housed inside to power it. We are also treated to a lengthy exposition about how humans once existed on another planet but were destroyed by a rogue A.I., so these superstructures were sent to potential habitable planets to populate them with the DNA of human life, but the A.I. thing (I don't really know what it is) has now found Earth and is causing the moon to fall to destroy the humans. It's nothing you haven't heard or seen before, and lumping in all this stuff near the end does detract from the disaster theme a little. The ending feels like it's very much on auto-pilot, as Brian encounters a "good A.I." or something, and somehow now knows how to pilot around the superstructure to destroy the bad A.I., which ruins any kind of tension in the climax. In terms of effects and CG, it's actually not too bad: you get a good sense of the scale of destruction in the landscape shots, but the effects of the Moon's effect on gravity is entirely inconsistent throughout, and it can mostly be explained away as it's for the purpose of the plot. Anyway, Moonfall is a mash-up of what you've seen before, with Roland Emmerich doing exactly what you expect in producing an over-the-top disaster film with a very typical cast of characters. It's plot is all over the place, and is completely implausible most of the time. It is a brainless, cheesy sci-fi film that may serve as a silly ride that might entertain, but you're going to struggle to believe anything in the movie is plausible.

[italoniponic]

E, J, K, X, Y for Jamil Viper for the 100 followers event!!!! Headcanons pls!!!!! Congrats!!!

𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲'𝐬 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 - 𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭

| Notes: Hi! Thank you so much!! There’s this one soundtrack playlist that I put to hear to get more immerse in the writing (bc I do this, I’m weird) and there’s this one Indian song named “Shiva” by Ragi but I swear to God that at some point I was starting to hear “Jamil~~~” being chanted along with the instrumentals. I almost lost it

JAMIL~~ JAAAMIL~~

Thanks for the request <3 |

Jamil Viper x gender neutral reader / fluff / fluff alphabet / use of "you" pronouns

Cherry's Harvesting 🍒 Masterlist

Smoothie of Letters #2

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

I can see... both, actually. Jamil seems to be the guy who would be very quiet in that department. If you need anything or help, he is always there to help you. If you want to do something, like going out, shopping or things like that, he’ll let you choose what to do. After all, Jamil is used to serving and not being served;

But there are times when, as naturally as fulfilling someone else's will, he ends up leading you to do what he wants. And when Jamil notices it, he apologizes but you, to his surprise, encourage him to be more dominant over his own wills. Then suddenly, you who ask “Jamil, what do you want to do?”;

In this, Jamil is a dominant who manages to mask himself as passive. He is immensely happy that someone wants to listen to his opinions and accept his decisions. So don't worry. You are the person Jamil had the most joy in doing things for... unless you want to have a date at the Mostro Lounge. “I draw my limit here,” Jamil taps his foot, for your amusement.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Not too easily. Jamil is the kind of person who likes to do things at the right time and respects other people’s personal space just as you respect his space. But what if you spend too much time with a guy? A strange feeling begins to whisper in Jamil’s heart and he cannot quite understand what it is;

To distract himself, he listens to music while cooking or dances a little in his room, closing the doors of his own world to be alone. Jamil knows your life doesn't revolve around him — though you've said many times that he was the best part of it. Then he tries to fight with various feelings and sensations that he didn’t even knew it was possible to have;

But at the end of the day or with a simple message, you remind Jamil that he is like the Moon. Precious and beautiful all the time it’s up there in the sky, reigning over the night. The person you wait for all the time, anxiously.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

They say practice makes perfection, but there's something about Jamil’s kisses that is just natural. Maybe it's the patience and control he has. You once commented that it was like kissing a wonderful silk cloth and Jamil had a silent meltdown, flustered and shrunken in embarrassment like a frightened serpent. It didn't even look like the same guy whose kiss made you feel the stars;

Your first kiss began from a quiet and awkward, difficult situation. You were both getting used to what it all meant. But Jamil took a deep breath and decided that he needed to remain calm and achieve his wish with his own hands. Inside, he was as nervous as you were, but he approached with such reverence that you almost felt like royalty;

As a first kiss, it was chaste and slow. Careful, caring. And there's nothing wrong with that. There is something very precious about discovering Jamil’s whole new world, all without rushing things. For someone who always kept himself apart and was not one to have friendships or relationships with anyone, Jamil was giving you his own heart. So hold him like a precious jewel, just like his kisses.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Jamil and affection are two words that walk far from each other... but they walk together and that's what matters. Jamil isn’t necessarily shy. He is more “professional”, let's say. Introvert too. The process of falling in love was slow, taking his heart little by little, so it will take quite a while for him to show this kind of affection in public;

Unless you're both alone. Still, little by little. When you least expect it, Jamil's farewell kiss is no longer simple and quick. It turns more like a whole sentence silently saying, “See you later, I love you.” Hugs also get longer and tighter, as if he fights with himself to let you go;

This improves over the years. Jamil Viper, the lord of his own house, allows himself to open up more. What used to be simple moments in his dorm room, cuddled with the love of his life and having a pleasant moment, can now happen anywhere. It's one of the good things about freedom. But it's still a little hard to have those moments of affection normally in front of other people, to be honest.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

For most of his life, Jamil yearned for moments when he could be alone. He loves his family, but spending at least fifteen minutes of solitude can work wonders on a person's nerves — an hour when it comes to taking care of Kalim all day. But when you stayed a long time away, he began to understand what it is to miss someone.

It's worse than he imagined. In this, Jamil came up with two ways to deal with the situation: distract himself by listening to music or collect things to show you when you two meet again. Songs that remind him of you, recipes that the two of you could test and make, clothes that he doesn't know would look good on him but knows that you would have the perfect opinion on it.

When it's not enough, Jamil cooks a food you like in common. Instead of focusing on the sadness of longing, he thinks about how happy he would be to be able to become a master at it and see your face as you eat your favorite food. It brings a smile to his lips and, well, it turns out to be very good.

[gretavandutchy]

Hiii i don’t know if you take requests but i am just so in love with your writing and wondered if you could write some completely tooth rotting jake fluff? If not completely no worries at all!!

am i neglecting my wip for this? yes. it was necessary though bc i'm in love with it

surprise!

{jake kiszka x gn!reader}

word count: 4.8k

warnings: language, kinda a little bit of angst i'm sorry, and tooth rotting fluff as requested

Being in a relationship with a bona fide rock star always sounds like a dream, and for the most part, it was. Loving Jake Kiszka was easy, and being loved by him was better than anything you could have ever hoped for. He was sweet, and passionate, and by far the most caring man you’d ever met. It had been two years and counting, and he still gave you butterflies with every look and every touch.

But, nothing could have ever prepared you for just how hard the distance would make things. For every kiss, and every look, and every touch that he gave, there was a week, or a month, or longer spent apart. You were pretty sure you’d spent more time on the phone with him in the past year of your relationship than you had physically spent with him.

The calls were a godsend, really, they were. You ached to hear his voice saying sweet things to you each day and every night. There was a truly physical sort of longing that consumed you, a desire for him that was only quelled by the sound of his honeyed voice telling you pretty things over the phone.

Sometimes it just wasn’t enough, though.

There were times when the phone calls, and the sweet words, and the cute little text messages he sent whenever he had a moment but not quite enough time to call… there were times when it almost hurt worse than nothing at all. There are only so many ways to tell someone you miss them, and you wish they were there, and you’re thinking of them before it starts to lose any sort of meaning.

That wasn’t to say that you were falling out of love. The thought of ending things, of going without Jacob Kiszka as the centerpiece of your life never crossed your mind for even a moment. Just the mere idea of it caused a grief so complete to overwhelm you that you couldn’t bear to think of it.

You just wished that things could be different. You wished that you had the option, the ability, to pack up and follow him around the world. You wished that you had no responsibilities or ties that tethered you to your little home, the one you’d built so lovingly around him and yet spent most of your days within it alone. You knew, in your heart, that he longed for the same thing—but it just wasn’t possible.

Independence was vital to you. It was imperative that you kept your life from relying upon anyone else. While it was nice for your world to revolve around Jake, you refused to make him your world in its entirety.

Having a job, having friends, having a space you could call your own even if you welcomed him into it so readily, those were all things that you needed. Jake was like your moon, always just close enough to feel the pull he had on you like the big white rock pushed and pulled the tides of the ocean. He could be your sun, lighting up your life and keeping you warm, giving you the extra tools needed to grow and blossom like the warm rays in the sky fed the earth.

You refused to make him your world, though.

It would have been so much easier, though, if you were willing to embrace that life. It would have been easier to throw caution to the wind and give everything up to follow him around the giant rock that homed you both. Then you’d never have to go without his kiss, or his touch, or his attention.

Still, you held strong to your choices and lived each day as it came. You lived with the fact that your time was spent waiting for him whilst you went about your life. Waiting for his calls, and his texts, and his attention—waiting patiently, desperately, for soon to turn to now. Soon had gone on long enough, and you were aching for him to finally tell you he was coming home.

He’d been gone for two months, and even though you’d been apart for much longer in the past, you were starting to go mad with the separation. Perhaps it was the fact that he’d really moved in the last time he’d been in town, his things mingling with yours and truly making your home become his as well, that was making it so much worse. There were a million little things that you could point out that made things so difficult.

His scent lingered everywhere. You’d washed the sheets since he left, but somehow they still smelled like him. His pillow still smelled like his shampoo, and there were traces of his cologne that wafted from the blankets each night as you pulled them over yourself.

It had been weeks since he’d dirtied any laundry, and yet you still found traces of him there as well. A sock from the drier, a shirt in the hamper, and even a pair of jeans kicked under the bed. You weren’t sure how you kept finding pieces of him every time you moved things around, but you did, and each time it made you miss him a little more. You even missed the way he’d pile up his dirty clothes in the bathroom, cramming them in the corner like a child.

At work you’d find strands of his hair embedded in the threads of your clothes, tickling your skin as you plucked them out. You were still pulling it out of the shower drain, as well, and it amazed you just how much hair one person could lose and still have a full head of luscious locks. Each time you dragged another strand from your shirt, your mind would drift to the way his hair was always tickling you. Getting in your mouth when the two of you cuddled, earning a laugh from him when you’d spit it out with playful dramatics. Hanging around your head like a curtain as he loomed above you, dragging across your neck and collarbones in the most pleasurable caress.

He took up all of your dreams, too.

In the night you found your greatest escape, closing your eyes in the darkness only to open them and meet the coffee gaze you craved. He was always there, waiting for you with a smile that made your heart race like it was the first time you’d ever laid eyes on him. It always felt that way, no matter how long it had been since that fateful day.

Of course, in the morning you’d always be ripped away from him by the sound of your alarm blaring beside your head. It shouldn’t have hurt so much, after so long, but it did. It really, truly took your heart in a vice grip each time you opened your eyes in the morning sun to find yourself all alone.

He’d call shortly after, and you’d greet him as if nothing were wrong. It didn’t matter what time of day or night it was wherever he was in the world, if he wasn’t busy he’d call mere minutes after you woke up to wish you a good morning. It was sweet, and the hopeless romantic within you liked to believe he could just sense that you were finally on the same plane as him again—but you weren’t silly. You had figured out that he set an alarm for ten minutes exactly after your own just so he could do so.

The nightly calls were more chaotic. You refused to tell him, though you were sure he could have guessed, but you stayed up late into the night sometimes if that was what it took to hear his voice before you went to bed. It wasn’t often that he missed a good night call, and even when he did he made sure to text you to let you know that something had come up. He never said anything, but that was how you figured he knew that you waited around for it. You’d answer every time in seconds.

It was rapidly approaching the midnight hour, and you were still waiting for his call. Your eyes were heavy from a long day at work, and your yawns were growing closer and closer together, but you refused to fall asleep. Jake hadn’t messaged you to say that he wouldn’t be calling, so you would wait. Even if you had to tape your eyes open to do so, you’d make sure you were conscious.

He’d probably have told you that you were being ridiculous for it, but you didn’t care. Sometimes you wondered if the distance got to him as much as it did you because he never seemed to be quite as affected. He’d try to cut the calls short when he could tell that you were exhausted, and he’d get this look in his eye when you refused before telling you that you could talk in the morning. Didn’t he get it, though, that you didn’t want to wait any more than you already had to?

Didn’t he understand that you wanted as much of his time as you could possibly get when so much of it was spent so far away?

You knew that he missed you. You knew that he thought of you constantly like you thought of him because he told you so. He told you with the random messages he’d send you at any given time. He told you with the random texts at twelve in the afternoon or three in the morning that simply said he loved you. He told you with the photos he sent unprompted, often completely unexpected but with a sweet message that whatever it was made him think of you.

You knew that he missed you, but sometimes it frustrated you how well he could handle it. You supposed that maybe it was easier for him, considering he was the one leaving and never the one left behind. He was the one out living his dreams, and he had just as much to look forward to in leaving as he did in returning home to you.

This time around, you were starting to think that the distance just might break you. The calls and the texts had stopped stifling the crippling longing in the first week, and as the eight was closing out you were growing restless. Thoughts of taking that vacation he’d mentioned a million times, but never had the gumption to ask you to take, were swirling around your head like a hurricane that grew more and more intense with each day.

It wouldn’t be enough because vacations always end, but it was something. After the two-minute-long phone call you received, you were wide awake. That was it—you were taking that fucking vacation.

“I can’t talk long, baby,” Jake murmured, his voice low and raw with sympathy, “I’m really sorry. I tried to get away from shit sooner so we could have more time, but I got caught up.”

There was no mistaking the way your voice fell flat, your eyes burning as you replied, “It’s okay. I just wanted to hear your voice, you know that.”

The majority of the phone call was spent in silence, neither one of you entirely sure how to speak to one another. You were sad, and annoyed, and cranky due to how long you’d waited up, and guilt was churning in the pit of your stomach because you knew you were making him feel bad. You knew it wasn’t his fault, and you could trust that he meant it when he said he had tried—but his world didn’t revolve around you, and he couldn’t move mountains to make things happen the way you wanted.

You felt horrible for being so childish and being upset over things he couldn’t control when he was trying his best, but it just sucked. “I love you.” he breathed, and your throat tightened as you heard the subtle tones of fear in his voice.

“And I love you.” You repeated, “I don’t mean to make you feel bad, Jake. I know you’re trying. It just… I’m just tired, and I had a bad day. I shouldn’t take it out on you.”

Knowing that your time was running out, you rolled back into the pillows and buried your face into his. As he spoke, you closed your eyes and breathed in the smell of him that lingered there, and it was almost enough to convince you he was lying beside you as he told you, “I’m sorry, sweetheart. Don’t think that you’re making me feel bad, okay? I’m frustrated, too—it’s okay if you’re upset.”

Faintly, you could hear someone call out for him in the background, and he muffled the line as he shouted back that he just needed a few more minutes. As you heard him sigh harshly into the speaker once more, you knew that your time was up. Squeezing his pillow tighter, you whispered, “You should get back.”

“(Y/N)…”

You took a deep breath to steady yourself as you continued, “I’m going to fall asleep, anyways, okay? I love you, and I miss you, and I’ll talk to you soon.”

“I’ll see you soon. I love you and miss you more.” He sighed, and you hung up before he could hear you start to cry. It was probably irrational the way you texted your boss in the middle of the night requesting time off in a week’s time, but you didn’t care. Your heart was starting to hollow out, and you needed to see him. You fell asleep with puffy eyes and a significantly depleted bank account, a one-way flight straight to Jake booked in eight days.

Like always, your dreams were consumed by him. You blinked and suddenly he was right there, those warm brown eyes shining in the early morning light as his fingers swept a stray hair from your face. It was hot, almost stiflingly so, but you leaned into it. It was him that made your body feel sticky with sweat most of the time, considering he liked to sleep with his entire frame pressed against yours and your legs tangled together.

This dream was always your favorite. It was so simple, so mundane, but that was what made it so perfect because it was all you ever wanted. There was nothing that made you feel more whole than to wake up in Jake’s arms, completely tangled up in him and basking in his presence.

You peeled your eyes open again, squinting against the harsh rays of the morning sun that beamed through your window. His nose brushed against your own, the sweet smile he always wore when he was trying to rouse you from the dead gracing his lips. He was always so soft in the morning, gently pulling you back to the land of the living with feather-light touches and whispered words.

He wasn’t saying anything, simply staring at you as he let his eyes trace slowly over every last feature on your face. His hand rested lightly on your cheek, his calloused thumb stroking across the highpoint of your cheekbone like he was trying to memorize the feel of your skin under his fingertips. You hummed quietly as you took a deep breath, the smell of him filling your lungs entirely and his hair tickling at your nose like it always did. It made you smile, feeling the strands stick to your skin again.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered, and your heart thudded against your ribcage in delight. It was insane how easily he could get you flustered, the simplest of things making you feel giddy with love and excitement like you were still learning what it was like to be loved by him. The honeymoon phase never ended with Jake; every second that went by with him was like the first. The electric, adrenaline-fueled rush never went away.

You knew it was only a matter of time before you blinked and opened your eyes to find him gone again, but you couldn’t bring yourself to pull away from it. He was here, for the moment, and you didn’t care if it was all a fantasy conjured up in the throes of your dreams. He was with you.

His face dipped, brown eyes fluttering shut under a sweep of long lashes, and you leaned into him eagerly as his lips sought out your own. You didn’t care about your morning breath or the fact that your lips would still tingle even after you woke up and you’d hate yourself for leaning into the cruel fantasy all over again. All you cared about was feeling his kiss, letting the euphoric sparks crackle across every inch of your body as he pressed his lips firmly to your own.

Jake’s grip on your cheek tightened, shifting so that his thumb was hooked beneath your jaw and he could hold you to him. That was your favorite way to be touched—you loved it when he was so needy for you, so desperate for your embrace that he held you captive in the gentlest of way. His lips parted against your own, a ragged breath drawn between the two of you in the space that only existed for a second, and then he was tasting you like he’d been starved for a lifetime.

With a quiet whimper, your hands reached out for him. You pushed the blankets aside to find his warm skin with your fingers, only to give pause as your palms met cotton. He protested slightly as you detached yourself from the kiss, his eyes pleading with you to let him have his way, but you could only blink at him in confusion. He was fully dressed.

From the thin cotton shirt with the stretched-out neckline, to the familiar pair of boots he wore practically every day, Jake was dressed like he’d just gotten home and hadn’t bothered to change before collapsing onto the bed. He wasn’t even under the blankets. He was watching you curiously as you stretched up onto your elbows to stare at his body in bewilderment, and your eyes flickered to his face as you tried to make sense of it all.

This wasn’t how the dream went. The dream always went one of two ways—you’d wake up to find him pressed against you, completely bare like he always was, and you’d either wake up before the kiss even ended or you’d wake up panting with your toes curled and a ruined orgasm. This wasn’t the dream.

“Jake?” you asked, and your heart was racing. Was he really there? Was this a cruel trick of your mind, and you were going to wake up any moment with an even worse ache in your chest than every other day?

He furrowed his eyebrows, lips turning down at the corners as he reached out to you hesitantly. His fingertips just barely skimmed along the ridge of your jaw, and you jumped at the tingles that trailed after his touch. It felt real. He felt real.

The chuckle he let out was slightly fearful, and he was hesitant as he asked, “Who else would it be? You look like you’ve seen a ghost, baby, and it’s kind of—“

In a split second, you dove across the bed and into his chest forcing all the air from his lungs as you collapsed onto him. “I swear if this is a dream I’m going to die.” You whined, burying your face into the crook of his shoulder and clinging to him desperately. Please, please, please, be real, you begged silently, and you could have cried as you felt his arms wrap around your frame.

“Do you dream of me often?” he asked teasingly, and his eyes were alight with pride as you lifted your head to give him a stale glare. Cooing, he dragged your face down to press a kiss to the tip of your nose before admitting, “I dream about you, too. This isn’t a dream, though, sweetheart. I just got home a few minutes ago.”

You wanted to believe it, and you were content to relish in the pleasures that were presented to you, but your mind was struggling to catch up. How could he have been there? Just hours before, he’d claimed he was too busy to speak on the phone—you’d heard as much for yourself when he’d been called away. “How?” you muttered feebly, letting him guide your head back to his chest as he began to scratch his fingers over your scalp like you always begged him to.

Your fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt thoughtlessly, your subconscious leading you to cling to him out of the fear that he’d vanish from before your eyes at any given moment. He was solid beneath you, though, and the steady thumping of his heart beneath your ear bathed you with a wash of comfort you’d been missing for far too long. You focused on that, and the gentle sway of his chest as his breaths shifted your weight around, as he explained, “I was coming home to surprise you. We have a week off and I wanted to spend it with you, but the flight got delayed so I almost didn’t get to call you.”

“It was Josh who cut me off,” he continued, “I didn’t hear the boarding call for the second flight and was about to miss it, but I made it just in time.”

For a few moments you just laid there, ear pressed to his chest and hands gripping his shirt like a lifeline, and soaked it all in. He was really there. Jake really did miss you just as much as you missed him, and he was home. It might have only been for a week, but that was more than you could ask for. Any amount of time with him was enough.

You snorted a laugh, suddenly, and he startled at the sound. “Well, do I have a funny story for you!” you chuckled, lifting your head as the memories of the night prior burst the blissful bubble in your head. His eyebrows were raised inquisitively as you looked down at him with a bitten smile and stifled laughs, “I finally decided to take that vacation.”

“Vacation?” he repeated, narrowing his eyes before they widened suddenly in realization. A sly grin spread across his lips, but there was no mistaking the childlike excitement in his eyes as he asked, “You’re going to come see me on tour, finally?”

You nodded, squealing as he threw his arms around you and flipped you onto your back, “There’s a high chance we might be on the same flight back, it seems.”

Jake was positively radiant as he loomed over you, perched on his forearms that caged in your head against the pillows. His brown eyes were sparkling with joy, and he couldn’t keep the smile off of his face even as he pressed kiss after kiss across the skin of your face. From your forehead to the very tip of your chin, and everywhere in between, he smothered you with a flurry of pecks that reduced you to loud peals of laughter and gasps for air.

The morning sun cast an angelic glow around him as he finally relented in his assault, lifting his head to simply stare down at you with a fondness in his eye that still made you weak in the knees. He certainly had an effect on you with everything that he did, but you were a sucker for those eyes. One look was all it took to have you melting, and he reduced you to a puddle every single time. He looked ethereal, the golden light radiating around his head like a halo, and you were breathless as you admired him.

The phone calls and texts were nice, but nothing would ever compare to the real deal.

“So how long do I have you for?” he asked, and your eyes fluttered shut as he dropped his forehead to rest atop of your own.

Humming, you smiled, “Forever, if you’ll have me.”

“Is that even a question?” he breathed, “There’s no possible answer other than yes.”

Your boss wasn’t exactly happy when you called in for an additional week, but you didn’t care one bit. You had the vacation hours stored up, so there was no reason to say no—and she didn’t. For one blissful week, Jake was all yours, existing with you in the little bubble you’d created in the home you’d built around the two of you. It was paradise, and it only got better when you followed him to the airport at the end of the week and it wasn’t to say goodbye.

No, you had your own bag and after a change of flights, the two of you were jetting off to meet the rest of the band together. He fell asleep with his head on your shoulder on the plane, his plump lips parted with silent snores, and you snapped enough photos of that alone to fill an entire scrapbook. Maybe, after you returned home, you would.

You’d never seen Jake so excited as he was as he brought you to the hotel that night, parading you around in front of his band with a proud smile and a look of pure adoration that made you giddy. It wasn’t like you’d never been to any of their concerts before because you had been to tons. Yet, you’d never been there in that context before.

You’d never been there as his guest on tour. You’d never gone to his show with the knowledge that you’d be clambering onto the bus with him that night, struggling to fit into a bunk made for one and sleeping practically on top of him the entire night. You’d never gone to his shows knowing that you’d be there for the next, and the one after that, and even the next one no matter where it was.

It was the happiest you’d been in a while, and the temptation to say fuck it and do it for the rest of your life as long as he wanted you was strong. You knew that wasn’t an option, though, and so did he—even if he wished it could be, he’d never ask that of you because he knew you’d say no. Still, you made the most of the time that you had together.

For just shy of two weeks, you followed him around that little corner of the world, and it was like heaven. Even as the time came to an end, and Jake was the one to take you to the airport for once, you were on cloud nine. He followed you until he couldn’t anymore, and then he kissed you like it would be the last time he ever had the chance.

He held you so tightly that you could barely breathe, and chased your lips when you tried to retreat until he was dipping you low and kissing you all over again. He licked across your lips and into your mouth like he’d never get to experience your essence again, and just when you thought it was all over and you’d finally get to breathe he dove back in for more. By the time he stood you up again, still wrapped around you even after he pulled his lips from yours, you both were panting and wild in the eyes.

His fingers flexed into your back, scratching at the fabric of your shirt as he fisted it in tight hands, and he sounded choked up as he murmured, “Call me when you land?”

You smiled, reaching up to push his hair out of his face as you pressed one last, sweet kiss to his swollen, reddened lips. “And again before I go to bed.” You promised, and he gave a tearful smile. “I love you, Jake.”

“And I love you.” He repeated, and you didn’t turn back as you made your way further into the airport without him. If you had, you knew there was no way that you were going to get on that plane—and you really needed to, if you wanted a job to return to.

That didn’t stop you from calling him the moment you made it through security, though, and you barely gave him a chance to offer a concerned greeting before you were asking, “So, where should I book a flight to next month?” Until then, the phone calls and text messages would be enough.

TAGLIST! @caravelstan @tripthelight-fanfic @barbariansgvf @brokenbellz @sing-against-the-sky @stardustdanny @dannythedog @peterr-parkourr @stardust-and-shadows @trafficwasabitch @screechesincoherently @fleetsonfire @honor-gvf @oyoke @celestialfauna this is my permanent taglist. if you'd like to be added, send an ask!

[easton-m]

"All of them.", Easton repeats, nodding at that. It's not that he can relate - there's no past relationships he could talk about, only brief flings held as brief as possible, due to fear, due to lack of time, due to stupid excuses that all revolved around one specific; I don't want to end up like my father. "Okay. I won't." The way he says it, so confident, honesty pouring from his eyes, it's obvious he means it.

"Don't you ever dare to turn down Mars.", he laughs gently, "As long as you're still a reasonable age. That would be so cool." And a long time alone, he figures. "I don't think there's an equivalent to Mars in football, though...", he pauses, "Hall of Fame. A big one.", he nods, slowly, "Beating Tom Brady at that would be a dream, but I'm not quite sure I'll reach that." It's a big goal, but not impossible - at least not the Hall of Fame part, not for Easton. Beating Tom Brady, though, who got pronounced a member long before the four years post his career had been over, would be hard.

"I'll take my time.", he makes sure to add, gaze darting back to Rahi, "And we'll get the team to Superbowl just for that sight."

They stay like this for a while, under the moons, just because Easton can't quite let go of that view, and then he offers to keep walking - and noticing he's talked much more than usual, he figures it's his time to ask real questions about space, that Rahi can actually answer. They range from simple things to more complicated ones google has never quite found the perfect answer to, and with his hand still in Rahi's, he swings them a little as they walk, the space still quite empty. There's more questions burning beneath his tongue, but the quarterback figures he'll have some time left to ask them later on.

When they leave the planetarium and it turns out to be dark outside, a silent Oh escapes his lips, and he turns to face Rahi. "Hey, do you work for NASA, by the way?", the grin is already spreading on his lips, "Because you're out of this world." There's another of one of those cheesy laughs he's laughed all day, his cheeks already hurting, "Sorry, had to get number three out before I forget. I promised, you know."

Easton's gaze darts of to where he's parked his Porsche, "I have a panoramic roof, you know. Means you can watch the stars as we drive.", as if he wants this date to end, "We can take more rural roads, if you're not busy later? Makes a better view."

Of course, Easton assumes right, and Rahi's face shows it. He breaks into that smile which he smiles not out of joy, but something else. "All of them."

One day, he'd tell him about the reason why he didn't get to go the first time he'd tried out. How his boyfriend at the time became dependent, insecure, and desperate to keep him in the same planet as he. How, intentionally or not, Arman had pushed him into mental exhaustion before his final psych evaluation, and failing it meant failing it all. How he would have spent much more time out there, much earlier on, if it weren't for a man who dared to be jealous of his love for the stars. One day, but not today.

Because today, he's happy just to be happy. Some memories should stay buried, tomb locked and undisturbed. Ten years had gone by, and those crushed dreams have since more than come true.

"God," Rahi laughs, genuine as ever, "...I don't know if I could do a year." When he was younger, perhaps. But now... "I mean, if I have kids, I wouldn't want to be away for that long. I wouldn't want to miss anything." Rahi would rather not have children at all, than to have them and be more absent than he is around. "Unless it's something like Mars, which I'd be crazy to turn down, I guess." He warms at the hand on his shoulder, relaxing easily under the touch. Quietly, Rahi stores it into memory as the first time Easton reaches for him, entirely on his own. "...But thank you."

You have no idea, Rahi thinks, how much I needed to hear that.

(And if fifty more years would feel exactly like this, then Rahi wouldn't mind, spending them all next to him.)

As Easton speaks, the realization that his dreams aren't all that different from Rahi's own. To stretch an impossible career for as long as possible; to aim as high as gravity and the wheel of time would allow them.

"I think you'll just know." Rahi's turn, to assure him. "You'll feel it, when it's time." Easton's gaze is focused on the moons, yet Rahi's eyes are still on him. "If the feeling's not there, then it's not time yet."

There's no drug quite as addictive as the ability of being great. Athletes and astronauts know it well. It's hard to let go.

"Now you have to," he jokes. "You can't just tease me like that." Another daydream: at Allegiant Stadium, seventy-thousand people chanting Madden's name, yet Rahi is the one who would be taking him home. "I'll wear it proudly."

[hanji-is-life]

Aftershock: Trials of Yandere Bakugou

Tag list: @inuyasha330 @victoriaestein @bakugous-trauma @bkgwrites @akari180 @boooooooooom @namjoonswifeyy @missyredbean

this is so late bc I couldn't figure out for the life of me, what or how I wanted Bakugou to cross examine her lmao but!!! here we are now :))

cw: mentions of rape, kidnap, stalking, mindbreak, dark content, panic attack, Stockholm syndrome, non-sexual pet play, please let me know if I missed any tags!

Day One: Part Two

Day One: Part Three

word count: 2.4k

Day 1 continued of the trial of Bakugou Katsuki vs. the city of Tokyo

9:56am

Katsuki could be seen as sweet and caring, even though he was still rough around the edges. To the media, he was a PR nightmare that consisted of screaming to innocent people and being an absolute brute. To his fans, he was simply a tsundere that was just too emotionally constipated, someone that only they could understand. To his friends, he was just regular old Bakugou with a bad attitude that means no harm. To his family, a brat that had been spoiled.

But to you, he was your world. Even though he didn’t start out as that, he made sure to ingrain it into your mind that he would be your entire world eventually. He would be your sun, your moon, your stars, your galaxies, your oceans, your sands, your grass, your breath. He would be everything to you. He would mean everything to you, in the same way that you were to him.

He didn’t understand it much in the beginning. Why his entire solar system revolved around you, a quirkless nobody whose face got swallowed whole in crowds, and why you didn’t feel the same about him. Why you didn’t let your solar system consist of him and his gruff voice and his thick palms and the occasional smile after a long tiring day. Why you didn’t worship the ground he walked on. Why you cried and screamed when he introduced and bullied himself into your home the day he took you back to where you belonged—with him.

Katsuki didn’t understand why you didn’t want him the same way he wanted you.

But after years of ingraining it into your mind, he would be your solar system. He would be your sun, your moon, your stars, your galaxies, your oceans, your sands, your grass, and your breath. He would be the only thing you needed in life eventually. He just had to break you in first, is all.

…

“Miss, could you explain how your quirk works to the court?” Katsuki’s voice booms louder than it needs to be. Instantly, your eyes snap down to your lap, to your wringing hands that cut tiny marks from your nails into the thick skin of your palm. Don’t look me in the eye, unless I direct you to. You listen, follow like the good girl he always told you you had to be for him.

You sit quiet though, let the answer of the question bounce around in your head for a few seconds. Quirk? Katsuki knew you didn’t have a quirk, it was one of the main things he had teased you about. Being a quirkless bitch that needed his help in life. A quirkless nobody that people wouldn’t give a fuck about after your disappearance. A waste of useless space that would be better as fucking furniture under his boot.

“I asked you a question, princess.” Daddy’s tone is biting, harsh and irritable. You flinch subconsciously, gnaw on your trembling bottom lip to keep from sobbing. He never liked it when you cried outside of the bed.

“Your honor, can you please tell the defendant to call my client by her name, and no other pet names he might have given her beforehand?” A familiar voice rings through the haze of your mind. But you can’t focus on that right now. Can’t focus on anything but him and his presence in front of you. How his hands squeeze into fist, the tiny spark of his quirk making his palms light up, the shift from foot to foot. Those are his telltale warning signs that he’s growing upset. You always tended to suffer whenever Daddy was upset.

…

“Make me feel better, princess. It’s hard being a hero. Not like you’d fucking know that, though.” He would snarl, press you deeper into the couch cushions until all that you could feel, see, and breathe was him and him only. Some days you would cooperate, some days you were too tired and sore from the days beforehand. Today was one of those days.

You pushed him off as much as you could, your hands seemingly so tiny compared to his hulking form above you. He pauses in his advance of kissing you breathless, neck craned and halfway to its destination of your trembling mouth, his own pulling down into a snarl.

“Hah? Fuck are you pushing me away for?” He had snapped, pushing against your hands, your wrists threatening to snap under his crushing weight above you. As he swooped down to lock his lips onto yours once more, he was met with the wet skin of your cheek instead. The most warning you had gotten was a growl before Daddy was snatching you up and throwing you over his shoulder.

You cried the entire way to the room, pleading and crying for just one break, you still couldn’t feel your lower half from the day before, but your cries were ignored. He just continued trudging his way to the room, angrily fussing the entire time.

You were thrown onto the bed, too sore to even try to run away this time. Daddy just rummaged through your toy chest, pulling out his favorite leash, grinning at the way you whimper and shake your head no. He stomps his way over to you, clips the leash onto the shock collar, doesn’t care about how much its choking you when he roughly pulls you from the bed to land on your hands and knees onto the floor.

“You wanna act like a bitch? Fine! I’ll fuckin’ treat ya like one! You can be my therapy dog for the day, since you can’t be my good little princess. How’s that sound?” He doesn’t stop choking you with the leash until you let out a broken and humiliated bark. He waits until your hiccups make you lose your breath to finally start walking you around the house. The short walk instantly makes him feel better.

…

“Sustained.” The judge’s words make you snap back to reality. You could still feel the ache in your knees, the burn in your throat, the pain in your wrists from being walked around like a fucking dog in his house. Your owner clears his throat to get your attention.

“Could you explain your quirk for everyone, miss?” The new name is spat through gritted teeth. Katsuki hates it. Wants to degrade you, call you his, call you his bad girl that never wanted to listen. Your mouth feels like sandpaper when you speak.

“I’m quirkless.” You whisper into the mic. You don’t know why he’s asking you this; he’s the main one that knows about your quirklessness. Your answer only makes him smile.

“So, did you feel safe in the world, out and open and all alone in your big apartment, knowing you were quirkless?” Your apartment wasn’t even that big. You swallow at his question, feel that same lump in your throat whenever he would interrogate you about your attempted escape while he was away.

“Y-yes,” you stammer, squeeze your eyes shut. “I was taking self defense classes and had a bat in my room and a taser and—”

“But that wouldn’t be good enough against a villain, would it? Was it good enough the day I first saved you?” He felt victorious at your shaking shoulders, at your clenched eyes, your lips pressed together to silence yourself.

“I-I was fighting back, he was just strong—”

“But you felt safe, though, correct? With your bullshit self defense classes, right?”

“Objection!” Your lawyer stands, sends furious eyes to your kidnapper, who only had eyes for you. Katsuki doesn’t move from his position, just stands stock-still a few feet away from you, hard red eyes scanning your form quickly. You’re embarrassed, terrified even. He wished he could smell the fear rolling off of your body, wished he could lick the tears straight from your cheek, make you taste your fear from his tongue. It makes his cock twitch in his pants.

“Sustained. Jury will disregard, so watch it, Mr. Bakugou.” The judge sends him a wicked eye, waits for him to remove his line of sight from you before narrowing her eyes at him. He shoots her a look right back, before huffing and continuing his line of questioning.

“Do you remember what you said when I saved you from that villain? The one with the body full of knives? Who tore your clothes open in broad daylight?” God, you didn’t want to remember that day. Didn’t want to think about how humiliating it was, how a hero had to step in and fucking rescue you like you were some helpless damsel in distress. You had completely blocked that day out, which in turn, blocked out your savior; Dynamight.

He would never allow you to forget him again.

“Not really,” you answer truthfully, your voice only a minuscule whisper. He’s asked you about this before, badgered you into remembering him. How could you not fucking remember him saving your life, when all he could fucking think about for days was you? How he had obsessed over you, stolen your dropped wallet, stalked you for days and weeks and months because of how unforgettable you were? How could you just brush him saving you off into the back of your mind to be forever forgotten?

Katsuki narrows his eyes at you, lips in a thin line as he tries to word his next thought carefully, before he steers into another direction.

“I would like to introduce evidence number 8; a video recorded from a passing civilian on the day of May 6, 2018, right after I had saved your client.” Even though he’s still looking at you, Katsuki turns his head slightly to indicate that he’s speaking to your lawyer. He watches your trembling form for another moment before he finally steps away, picks up a DVD from the neatly strewn evidence on his desk, and inserts it into the still open TV that displays your collar. You don’t want to watch the shaky video.

It’s of you, though. Dazed and slightly delirious from the panic that had set in beforehand, when that villain was about to touch you in broad daylight. The video is focused on your hazy eyes, how they stare lovingly up at Dynamight, who shields your naked torso from the leering crowd. The person recording is close enough to catch your words, as you smile up at the blushing hero.

“You’re my savior, Dynamight. Thank you for saving me. I’ll always remember this.”

You sound out of your mind. Sound shaky and breathy from your previous panic, you don’t even believe yourself after watching the video. Don’t believe that you really said it, yeah you just watched yourself say that, but you didn’t fucking saying that? You didn’t! The video was fucking edited! It had to be! That day never even happened, you hadn’t even met Katsuki until he had you at his home and you were washing the dishes and cooking him meals and sucking him off and—when had you guys actually met beforehand? Everything is a blur now, everything slurring together, until your mind forces you to remember the practiced speech he ingrained into you in case anyone asked how you met before:

Oh, he was working on the job. We just bumped into each other. I was a huge fan, I had been following his career since his first year at the UA sports festival! He asked me out, we went on a few dates, before I realized I couldn’t live without him. So, here we are!

So what the fuck was this video?

“That’s not me.” You blurt out quickly, your eyes frantic as you try to find a familiar face in the crowd. But the only one you can see is his.

“That’s not you?” Katsuki snaps, struts over quickly to where you sit, to where your body jerks up into a stand. The judge and jury jump, your lawyer gets to his feet, slowly starting to round his desk as you point to the screen.

“No, that’s not me! We didn’t meet like that, Daddy, we didn’t! We—we met when—when you were on the job! We bumped into each other—I was a huge—been following—your days—asked me out—can’t live—I can’t—here we—”

“Your honor, I would like to call a recess. My client can’t continue for today.” Your lawyer calls out quickly, rushing over to you, pushes Katsuki away so he wouldn’t be able to touch you. He looks worried though, worried like the time you had panicked because he said he would be leaving for a few days. Worried like the time you said you couldn’t feel your legs after he had gone too far. Worried like the time you told him you had so many weird cravings and kept throwing up and—

“She’s having a panic attack. We need to get her out of here.” Everything sounds like cotton in your ears. Sounds muffled, like the headphones Daddy would put on you to keep your other senses heightened. Where is he, anyway? He would usually hold you whenever you panicked like this. You just wanted his arms.

You can’t see through your tears much, but you know that big hulking blond form when you see it. You instantly reach out to him, make grabby hands that you know will be filled with him and his scent and his soft words and the tone reserved for when you couldn’t breathe.

He pushes his way over to you, grabs you up in his arms to hold you against his chest. And for a moment, you’re granted with peace. Granted with the calm satisfaction of being safe and being with the one person in the world you loved most.

But that peace and that satisfaction is cruelly ripped away from you when he’s pulled away. When you’re pulled away, as someone grabs you and holds you in their arms, as they lead you out of the door from behind where you sit. Someone yells for Katsuki not to touch you, and it almost sounds like your parents voice. But you don’t need them anymore. You don’t need their hugs or their comfort or their gruff shushes or their love anymore. All you need is him.

[shewhotellsstories]

i really dont wanna annoy you but you post about racism in fandom sometimes so i thought you'd be the right person to ask. i hope this doesnt come off as expecting u to be my teacher. yesterday someone said they didnt trust white zk shippers and i thought it was mean but then people started sending the them all these nasty messages and i started to worry maybe op was right. honestly a lot of this stuff is pretty new for me. i think our fandom is inclusive & unlike the rest of the atla fandom we actually like katara. but i'm trying to learn.

why would it be a problem that a lot of zk fics have katara looking after zuko? i always just felt like he needed it more bc he was abused and kataras better at dealing with feelings and she's good at taking care of people. is fire lady katara still ok? is there racism in our fandom? there are a lot of woc zks and i've seen them get hate for it. but the messages op got were pretty bad too. i know i'm asking a lot of questions i just hate the thinking that we might be as bad as the z*kka stans have been saying all year.

This is gonna get long so I’m just gonna jump right in. When I listened to fansplaining’s episode on fandom racism one of the guests said white fans who can acknowledge that fandom racism exists tend to frame it as “just a few bad apples” and get caught up in worrying about not looking like a “bad apple” instead of making fandoms spaces that aren’t hostile for BIPOC. Jag offs hiding behind anon to tell women of color who ship zutara that we have a creepy fetish for imperialism and colonialism suck, but your biggest concern really shouldn’t be the optics or if you can claim superiority over zukka stans.

Yeah the “katara’s a homophobe” nonsense didn’t come from our end of the fandom, but it feels naive at best or dishonest at worst to act like the zutara fandom is uniquely immune to fandom racism. A creator I follow made the excellent point that allyship conditional upon if a poc talks "nicely" about racism is still white supremacy. I believe poc need to be allowed to vent and be salty or angry without being tone-policed. I definitely have my days where I’m like “ugh white people,” or "why must white fans be like this," so I get where the OP was coming from. Ironically the folks that sent them anon hate proved their point. You can always count on hit dogs to hollar.

Fandom is only escapist for some people. It doesn’t exist in a vacuum so you’ll find racism in fandom because there’s racism in the world. Navigating that gets exhausting. There are certain things I enjoy, but for the sake of my sanity I'll only talk about it with friends in real life or only follow fans of color. Before I follow white fans I need to see first that they’re not the kind of person who inspires posts about fandom racism. A good friend of mine loves Star Wars, Kpop, and gaming but after years of attempts at calling in she decided that she’d only interact with woc in those spaces. Again, you get tired.

ATLA wasn’t on my radar until last year so I definitely haven’t read every zutara fic out there but I have noticed a lot of fics do tend to have Katara being the one comforting and supporting Zuko. It’s not inherently wrong of course, it’s just in the grand scheme of things in fiction woc are often cast as eternal caretakers and confidants in fiction:

“How characters of color are portrayed in fanworks, especially fanfiction, is worse than the actual films. They are portrayed as supportive, almost invisible understudies. Any characteristics which they possess in the [MCU] films are stripped and given to other white characters. It is not only erasure. It’s a theft of identity.

Characters of color are positioned within storylines to support the main, white characters. Even within the slash biracial pairings, the character of color is underdeveloped and in a position of servitude within the relationship.”

TheNavyLanguage, Fansplaining

As the quote above points out this honestly happens in a lot of fandoms. I’ve read fanfic for books, movies, tv shows, and comics and I can’t help but notice that in fics the writers often have the non-white character or-- if neither character is white--the darker skinned character being the care-taker, the bodyguard, or the person who is performing all the emotional labor. It’s not inherently wrong to have a character of color have a nurturing personality, you just have to remember that since Black and brown folks have been saddled with narrative after narrative where we exist to serve leaning into dynamics where the non-white or darker skinned character is providing all the emotional support and getting very little in return has some unfortunate implications.

It’s not better if instead of being defined as the avatar’s girl, Katara’s the fire lord’s girl. Part of the appeal of zutara for me is the idea that Katara could lay down some of her burdens and get some much needed support. I always imagine she’d have some major issues after the war.

"i always just felt like he needed it more bc he was abused and kataras better at dealing with feelings and she's good at taking care of people."

I’m going to push back against that statement. Yes, Katara didn't grow up in an abusive household but she has pain and trauma of her own. In fact I’d argue that her believing it’s her job to take care of everyone is rooted in her trauma. Katara needs support and care just as much as anyone else does.

Having read a lot of fics revolving around abuse victims in different fandoms I’ve observed that if fans feel a character’s trauma wasn’t properly addressed in canon, they’ll give them a lot of TLC in fics. But again, reducing the non-white or darker-skinned character to a glorified therapist has some implications.

I feel like the Fire Lady Katara headcanon's been talked to death so long-story short, it’s not inherently racist but it can problematic if it's not clear that Katara is Katara of the Water Tribe wherever she lives. Fics and art where her crown has a crescent moon, she wears blue, or Zuko wears blue when she's in red are the executions I'm fondest of.

When in doubt just listen when poc talk about uncomfortable trends in the fandom. Give fansplaining’s episodes on fandom racism a listen here, here, and here. And very loosely quoting my favorite professor just remember that if a marginalized person says they’re distrustful of a group of people or institution it usually happens after a lot of bad experiences. Don’t center your own comfort and hurt feelings.

“If we truly believe in fandom’s progressive credentials, then perhaps it is necessary for us to listen to critiques that make us uncomfortable rather than those that keep arguing that the status quo is perfectly acceptable—even as there is plenty of evidence to the contrary. Perhaps then we will be able to come at these, yes, these very complex and nuanced discussions with the type of openness and good faith that is required for them to succeed, rather than approaching them with hostility.”

-Rukmini Pande, Fansplaining

[cashewally-sarcastic]

(I’m going in paragraph order this will be incoherent)

Hello so first of all metaphors are beautiful and so is space and combining them??? amazing. 

Deca being the sun and Amos the moon while Mondstadt is the earth/world is so…it’s perfect. Because at the end of the day people always pair together the sun and moon, but forget that the world is ultimately part of that.

Anyway we don’t know a lot about Amos from what’s left, all we know is that she wielded a bow and was a huntress. The way you characterized her as being a big part of the community and her home, she’s observant and loved and loving. 

Of course Decarabian would take an interest in her, right? He loves the people and wants to protect them, and she embodies that.

The fact that that’s compared to an eclipse is SO INTERESTING. Like, who does the moon meet during an eclipse? In a solar eclipse, it’s the sun. And Decarabian is the sun.

But the first meeting isn’t immediately good, of course it’s not. The fact that Decarabian is described as not being human, and it seems it was almost the uncanny valley effect? Like a smooth face, perfect clothing, not a sign that he’s worked a day in his life, does he look human? Doesn’t matter because something isn’t right. (On another note I love your comparisons here of a spider or a moth it’s great)

And and and then the sun isn’t all bad right? The sun can be warm and beautiful (from a distance of course, but who needs really remembers that until it’s too late?). 

The way their relationship shifts as a “dream”, they’re a pair, and you compared that to MOON PHASES which is SO GOOD?

But the moon is human in this case, and of course she’s going to compare herself to the others around her on the earth. And calling the moon a corpse in the sky…hey you know how fucked (in a good way) that is? Especially with the genshin moon LITERALLY ALSO BEING A CORPSE and the events that LED UP TO THAT? I HOPE YOU DO <3

And it just keeps going and going like boiling a frog in a pot almost with the sun and moon man…we always pair up the sun and moon and forget the earth that affects it and THAT’S? A BIT TOO SHARP OF A METAPHOR.

Dancing and dancing and being equal in many things and assuming they both understand what the other is saying. 

Solar winds create beautiful things, like the auroras we marvel at. But a particularly strong one can damage us, breaking down communication networks on the earth. Comparing the storm barrier, Decarabian’s protection, to solar winds…it can be beautiful at first. But of course eventually it becomes so strong it’ll hurt the earth.

And you switch to the sun’s view and he doesn’t really know. He likes her smile and will do that little human ceremony to bind them together, but does he truly understand? But does it matter?

I’m in love with reminders after a certain context. Amos is the moon of mondstadt, did you forget that the moon revolves around the earth, not the sun?

And the counting…god it does such good emphasis!!!! And conflicting thoughts cutting each other off, AND YOU COMPARE THEM TO THE THOUSAND WINDS??? Beautiful, haunting.

The bard and her realization….it hurts so fucking much man!! She cries. A blessing and a curse, yeah. Fuck.

And you remember the eclipse from earlier? The solar eclipse? Yeah there’s two types.

Lunar eclipses are when the earth blocks the sun from seeing the moon. And Amos pounding on the door as Deca doesn’t answer because he’s so caught up in this rebellion…he’s focusing on the city, the world, and can’t see the moon.

I love how there’s a space. Empty space is amazing in writing holy shit.

And Amos’ whole process of picking up her bow again, a bow he gave her, and she doesn’t like being alone. She’s frustrated and (for lack of a better descriptor) burned by the sun. 

Did I mention I love the moon phases? I love the moon phases.

And then the end…the rebellion…god…

“Stars could never comprehend death…and can never dance the same dance as anyone else” BANGER LINE. 

The way you just describe the messiness…fine clothing being torn and his face scowling. Remember when she noticed his clothing without wrinkle or tear? When his face was so plain that it was clear he had never smiled or frowned?

In sickness and health, in life and death, she shoots.

Stars explode when they die, and she was right next to the sun.

FUCK i’m so normal about this.

Deca 😔

that sun post got ya huh

[coruscantile]

Kairi + Star Symbolism

An updated rundown of Kairi and the appearance of stars in the series, with some wish symbolism thrown in for good measure. Just to preface this, stars often represent the light motif in KH. Stars are the light of worlds from a distance and when they blink out you know another world is gone. In KHux you have to collect light / lux which is literally silver stars.

So to start from the moment Kairi arrived on Destiny Islands she was connected to the stars - arriving on the night of a meteor shower aka falling stars so to speak. The very first time we see her in game is during the opening in the midst of another meteor shower. Sora emerges from sinking into the darkness and the first thing he sees is his redheaded friend at a distance on the beach, before leading into the iconic loop of Sora falling into the sunset sky.

Remember that gummi blocks are also known as these crystals called star shards since they're usually seen in the form of shooting stars after something happens to the barrier surrounding a world, usually when it collapses. That meteor shower she arrived in could have been due to how she entered the world .

A reason Kairi may be associated with the sunset specifically rather than dawn  ( outside of the rest of the symbolism inherently tied to that )  is because that's when the light of the first stars of the night are visible. And those are commonly wished upon.

It's funny she arrived at this world, since DI itself is chock full of it's own star symbolism in the form of the paopu fruit, something Kairi’s closely associated to now.

Later on in her life, Kairi makes a wayfinder, a good luck charm crafted out of thalassa shells modeled after said fruit thanks to the legend attached to it.

That charm goes on to be the keychain of Oathkeeper which is 100% Kairi symbolism. Besides the hearts and the light color scheme that - for the most part - reflects her kh1 clothes, the teeth of the keyblade is in the shape of the kanji for light while also resembling a 7 point star ( cough cough note the wings on the handle )

Kairi’s body is found in Neverland. While aside from revolving around belief, the way you reach it is by following "the second star to the right, and straight on till morning".

Side note you also can see yellow stars on other weapons, notably the Wishing Star keyblade, something that stems from a plot revolving around wishing upon a star with Geppetto and Pinocchio.

Kairi was looking at the sun & moon mural in the secret waterway of Traverse Town and as she’s talking about the light at the end of the tunnel.

Ending scene where she watches all the stars in a reverse meteor shower, those lights returning in the sky as the worlds reform.

She then goes and adds a second paopu to the cave drawing like Sora had earlier.

During that secret ending bit we see Kairi on a beach, watching a star fall which we know eventually foreshadows KH2's ending.

This is vaguer, a a little extra bit, but when Sora follows that light and has the memory of Kairi's grandmother's story it reminded me of an actual star in space emitting rays of light.

Not much to say about Chain of Memories outside a slight one with Namine. She had been a sort of mirror of Kairi, reflecting certain traits in a distorted but unique image and that applied to her charm, which retained the star shape.

This scene too, where the light illuminated behind her is much like the one seen in the memory of her grandmother, a bright light / guiding star in the dark.

There's not as much symbolism in KH2 but its still there. Her keyblade counts. There's the obvious paopu keychain, but at least one of the flowers on the keyblade are possibly based on stars  ( ex. asters + sun star flowers ), which ngl is super neat. Asters mean stars in latin. They’re also a type of flower. Aster tataricus aka shion, meaning “I won’t forget you / I will never forget you” in the japanese language of flowers.

Kairi's notable letter references her wishes, which often to relates to stars. The letter then opens a door to light for Sora and Riku to return from the Realm of Darkness to DI through. This happening can also tie back to her role as a guiding light in the darkness. Stars are often used as a guiding light to point the right direction back home.

And then  ( at of course sunset ), Sora and Riku return home like shooting stars as referenced in the kh1 secret ending before Sora returns her charm.

Alright into KH3 now, starting with the opening. Sora falls out of stormy clouds into a sunset setting - because it’s par for the course - and what does he see ?  A distant red star. You can see it reflected in his eye. Sora emerges from the dark and a far away star is the first thing he sees, like way back in KH1 aka Kairi. I'm also calling back to the thing about seeing the first stars specifically at sunset.

Kairi is represented by a star chess piece in that little 4d chess game Xehanort has set up, and just. This whole transition. Her chess piece overlays into her paopu addition to the cave drawing with Sora. The tear on her cheek falls and ripples into light, like a far off star that he reaches for to guide him out of the darkness before he goes on to save everyone else. Like, jfc going hard with the symbolism in this one.

A similar thing reflected with Kairi keeping Sora going in the final world and meeting up with Sora during his return is a consistent reference of the grandmother story scene and CoM when Sora remembers Kairi.

Sora and Kairi sharing a paopu. I don’t have anything to add here and honestly I don’t think I need to elaborate any further anyways.

At the very start i mentioned how light is often represented through stars, like in khux with lux. This isn't directly tied to Kairi but i always imagined it'd be cool during that whole sequence with Sora riding starlight keyblades and the light of the past if she caught a glimpse of Ephemer through that light. she has heavy association with themes of the past.

Remind

finisher = seven wishes

shotluck = literally rains down a meteor shower

counter = starcracker

her heart has the flower shape of a 7 point star

the place where kairi gets brought back looks like a miniature galaxy / starfield

one heart s a reference to a folktale and the Tanabata  ( meaning "Evening of the seventh" ), also known as the Star Festival, celebrating the meeting of the two star deities separated by the Milky Way who are allowed to meet only once a year on the seventh day of the seventh lunar month of the lunisolar calendar.