#so much damn butter

[ethan-acfan]

So as the designated baker in the family, I'm working overtime every fall/Christmas. And my dad knows this, SO TELL ME WHY EVERY FALL I END UP MISSING SOME IMPORTANT INGREDIENT THAT I NEEEED

Atp we js need to just move into Walmart because I'm so tired of having to get creative with my substitute because SOMEONE FORGOT TO BUY ME FUCKING POWDERED SUGAR

[probablyaparadox]

Shanks’ crew is really out here taking out every punk aesthetic pirate they see what did the punks ever do to you dress better than you???

[carelessflower]

believe in my heart there some small bakery with that only didn’t go bankrupt because alec was the only one to enjoy their desserts magnus paid a ludicrous amount everytime to keep them in business

[shhh-secret-time]

Baby please, I am begging you to get out of the tags!! You can't keep those headcanons there! Because when I read that Butters is the museum owner in your Au I squealed so loudly!! He would be so cute! Getting all stary eyed everytime you bring something in??? AHHHH! 💖💖💖💖

Yes!! He starts off just so sad that the museum doesn't have anything. Constantly cleaning the display cases even though there's nothing in there.

But the farmer (you), come around with the little trinkets you find at the mines. Digging things up or finding them while fishing. And like you said he just gets these stars in his eye. (Yeah he still lost the other one)

Goes on for hours if you'll let him! Speculating the history behind the dwarven artifacts. He polishes those gems with such care! Butters is the happiest he's ever been since leaving the big city.

I think Kenny and him decided to just runaway one day. They grabbed Karen and moved out to the valley!

(That way if you ship Bunny it works, and if you don't it's just two besties supporting each other.)

As you start bringing in more things he starts looking over at the front door more. He perks up expecting you to come in covered in dirt, but he thinks it gives you a certain charm. He can smell the earth on you and immediately associates you with a flower of some kind. He'll change the flower pinned to his shirt to whatever that flower is. Got red hair? He's got tulips. The prettiest blue eyes ever?! Hydrangeas put carefully next to his heart. Oh you think your brown eyes are boring? How dare you, they're patches of soil that help support life!

Dude practically has hearts fluttering around his head when he sees you. Lips quivered into a smile, trying not to giggle just because he's nervous.

I swear his one heart event would be him crafting you something. He works with Scott to build a display case for it and sends it to you. It's not so big that it won't fit in the mailbox, maybe like a little box. It'll be something that doesn't belong in a museum but maybe one day it'll be in the house you share.

I'm working on Stan's sheet right while I'm at work! I'm writing up heart events like he's gonna be in the game ☠️

Tag List: @hunnysnoops @apple-butter-tea

[slippery-minghus]

wellp. finally cooked the giant pack of pork chops that have been in my freezer for over a year because my mom got them while she was house sitting and could never comprehend that i don't like pork chops.

but you used to love them when you were little! no, i lived in a "you get what you get, and you don't pitch a fit" household, and you served them WAY too often. the sensory hell from how they were prepared made me want to cry every time.

the ones i just made turned out... decent. it's not how i like to cook (a separate meat. a separate starch. a separate veg) but i didn't want to let them go to waste.

i don't really feel like i'm reclaiming anything here. just taking some of her ilk that she left in my space and removing it without being wasteful.

not that she's dead, but my mom from ~2004 is rolling in her grave over the fact that i put brown sugar on the damn pork chops. and salt!!!

[zapsoda]

i understand how peeta got so jacked from baking bread

[asteria7fics]

I have no clue how this works but uhhhhh mayybeeeeee butters (or butters when he’s professor chaos) uhhhhh

👻 A headcanon about what scares them

💝 A headcanon about their love language

💔 An angsty headcanon

👗 A headcanon about their clothes

🔪 A headcanon relating to fighting/violence

🌟 A headcanon about their desires/wishes

🥇 A headcanon about what they’re best at

🎭 A headcanon about what they lie about

🖕 A headcanon relating to anger

😬 A headcanon about the worst thing they’ve done

😭 A headcanon about the worst thing that happened to them.

😶 A random headcanon!

(Yes I had to copy paste it to remember the emojis) I don’t think I read the reblog correctly so idk if I’m allowed to have this many😨😨 you don’t have to do them if u dont want but I would love to learn more abt your butters headcanon for ur fic (specifically for ewily if I remember the acronym correctly)

RAHHHHHH -😨

AAAH BUTTERS!!! MY BOY!!!! (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)♡

I’ll do my best to cover all of these!! I never get to blab about the boy with a heart full of magic!!!

Barely spoilers for the chapter 9 of EWILY under the cut, and a couple of other small details I do include in the fic but aren’t really super plot relevant.

👻 - A silly one to start with, but I think he’s a little bit afraid of the dark. I’m gonna probably say this a lot, but after some of the shit that’s happened to him in the context of canon, he gets really uncomfortable being left completely alone in pitch darkness. Oh! And of course he’s always afraid of doing something wrong and getting grounded!

💝- Words of affirmation. I won’t go into any greater detail, but it will all make sense soon enough ehehehe

💔- I personally think Butters struggles a lot with the fact that he doesn’t quite fit in with the other boys. They’re all pretty abrasive towards him still, and he’s really not cool enough to fit in with most of them. He doesn’t show it, but his insistence on still ‘playing superheroes’ with Kenny is kind of a greater symptom of this insecurity. I imagine he was very excited to be included when Stan got Crimson Dawn back together as they got older, probably late middle school or so.

👗- Wears whatever his mom picks out for him, which is why he’s such an über dork. Lots of lumpy sweaters with dress slacks and straight leg jeans that are all a little too short on his long ass legs, meaning his socks are always showing so they have to coordinate with his outfit, too. And of course, he owns an impressive collection of button up shirts and sweater vests.

🔪- Butters is not a fighter, but he’s certainly had lots of violence enacted on him. Bullied pretty bad as a kid, on top of (tw for child abuse) his father’s liberal use of physical punishments. These are all pretty much canon though, so suffice to say I personally think Butters CAN fight if he needs to, he just generally chooses not to. (This is where the Professor Chaos headcanons come in hehe)

🌟- He wants to be happy, above all else. It doesn’t really matter what it is that will get him there, he just wants to experience the joys of living without worrying about the consequences for once in his silly little life. Aah, now I’ve gone and made myself sad!

🥇- Canonically Butters is good at a ton of stuff! He’s such a highly creative person with a massive imagination, and though The Poop That Took a Pee is a horrible example, I think he’d actually be a really good fiction writer! Hm, maybe that’s something I should explore more.

🎭 - Everything, all the time. Naw, I’m being hyperbolic, though he definitely tells white lies to his parents to avoid getting in trouble. I think he’s also very dishonest when things upset him, at least when people like Stan, Kyle or Cartman hurt his feelings. He knows better than to show weakness around those assholes! (Sometimes RIP)

🖕- I actually think Butters’ anger is under appreciated! He’s an angry little guy when he wants to be, and while I think he’s quick to anger when something finally does irritate him enough, he’s also very quick to cool back down. He doesn’t really hold grudges, though he makes a few exceptions.

😬 - AHAHAAHAH!!! Where do I even begin?? Butters does worse things in canon than pretty much anything I’ll ever have him do, though I would argue that inadvertently inspiring his entire class to wage a war over him wasn’t, uh, great. Oh, and shooting that guy in the dick, I guess.

😭 - Again, where do I begin?? I think the trauma he’s experienced in canon sort of speaks for itself, though I also think that though maybe he didn’t get anything quite as bad in the Asteria-verse, the bullying he withstood affected him more than he would be willing to admit. Poor child, can someone please get him a therapist?

😶 - Butters’ eternal sunshine, happy boy disposition is at least partially a front. While he’s naturally an optimist person, and does generally see the good in everyone around him, but he’s not a complete idiot. He acknowledges, again, that he’s not fully accepted by his peers, but chooses to disregard a lot of the things they do to isolate him. As a little boy it was a more honest representation of who he was, but as he’s gotten older (and more hormonal oof) he’s latched onto it as a means of protection, so to speak. The only person who really, truly sees Butters in his most honest form is Kenny.

This was so much fun!!! Thank you for humoring me and sending this, and I hope you enjoyed learning a lil something about the way I portray Butters in my work!! (ㅅ´ ˘ `)

[yourdrugisafartbreaker]

Heh. Free range butter.

[bobmckenzie]

ok i don't know WHAT kind of brain fart I had but I've been thinking today marks 6 months since I started shipping with Bob... IT'S NOT SIX DLSKJFKSF IT'S EIGHT 😳😳😳 8 MONTHS!!!

so today i learned i don't know how to count but idec bc it's my 8 month bobiversarry lol ❤️

[gray-wednesday]

Consumed by the visceral desire to be spoonfed a tray of candied yams

[chobit92]

Watching Nick and Jacob argue over a snack is the best thing ever. 😂

You can’t just shove those in my face and not expect me to wanna pop pop pop em in my mouth come on!

[aerodaltonimperial]

Ah, the sweet despair of missing yet another show appearance because your toddler has turned into a walking nightmare and you are stuck sitting on the top step of the staircase next to her room as bed time has become an anxiety-filled shitshow of over an hour and you haven't slept more than 5 hours since you got back and you just wish things were not quite so FUCKING SHITTY RIGHT NOW but there's nothing else you can do except power through it and crawl into bed and try to eke out another 5 hours before she wakes up screaming again and repeat the whole day over while trudging your way through your day job because someone has to put a roof over all your damn heads.

[c6jpg]

man every time I do raiden's trial I'm so tempted to pull for her bc her gameplay feels so good but I just..... don't..... like...... her 😭

[innalheid]

Very very sleepy tired but cannot stop thinking about possible flavours/recipes for my skillscan "audition". caramel smore tart. hazelnut vanilla vegan pound cake w spiced pear (rum pear.???) compote???? no idea what to do with the lattice fruit pie. fuck me

[nexus-nebulae]

toast and waffle sandwich