#so much better than trc tbh

[cabeswaterdrowned]

Decladam

•Whether I ship it or not: I ship it a little but primarily my interest in it comes from from an obsessed-with-Adam’s-psyche pov, I read and interact with it purely from a standpoint of how it could provide interesting character work for Adam rather than an emotional attachment to the idea of it as a *romance* yk? So, would answer yes over no but it’s a more clinical interest rather than something that gives me feeeelings ( my favorite pairings are the ones that make me experience both a thirst to analyze and potently strong feelings simultaneously). It’s my second favorite Declan ship after Jordeclan though.

•Why I ship it or not: I like thinking about Adam going through it and making bad horny choices and Decladam lends itself to this nicely. I also enjoy stories about mirroring and identity work so their foilisms and similar tendencies as social maskers, while also there’s some distortion and projection at play, are interesting to explore through having them interact. But I would need more canon material and emotional content to get to a higher level of shipping than just *intriguing* like I said.

My opinion on their canon potential (chemistry, canon interactions, etc): well Adam being at least a little attracted to Declan in early trc is basically canon, as is his multifaceted complex and *thing* for men *cut from the same cloth* as Declan. So definitely basis for physical attraction within canon / I think Adam’s thoughts about Declan have historically been So much hornier than he’d ever be willing to admit, although I think when it comes to romantic attraction on Adam’s side you need to diverge / spin off from canon to a certain degree for me to see it. I don’t think within the sequence of canon events he would develop much in the way of romantic feelings for Declan but I could see him getting there in the right story that either diverges from canon (@decladams fic is a really excellent take on a decladam relationship that I can buy) or is an au. Really I think the most compelling way for that to unfold that I could buy the most is a situation where Adam is at rock bottom which sounds mean to Declan but like.. yeah that’s the headspace I think Adam would need to be in. I like a good trainwreck relationship though so that’s not a deterrent for me. My interpretation of Declan’s side is less fixed, but I definitely think Declan finds Adam to be compelling to a greater degree than he would like to admit to himself, and I don’t think it’s difficult to extrapolate that response into repressed attraction if you want to. I also do think Adam and Jordan have some interesting parallels / are similar in some ways personality wise, so I think you could use that as basis for Declan being inclined to fall for someone like Adam. But I only feel strongly about teenage Adam having some type of physical attraction/psychosexual thing for Declan / that’s the only part really set in stone in my head as Sana’s-trc-canon, in terms of them. With anything else I think there’s potential if you want to see it but I wouldn’t die on the hill of reading the rest of the dynamic as subtextually queer.

My opinion on fanon interpretations/fandom around it (Favorite widespread hcs, pet-peeves, etc): hmmm. I don’t have a lot of thoughts on fanon about them I guess the only thing I’ve seen that I specifically disagreed with was takes on Declan’s perception of Adam in MI that position it as entirely a correct read, I think he has a better read on the Adam and the crying club situation than Ronan does at that point because he doesn’t have Ronan’s specific emotions/insecurities there but I also think Declan projects onto Adam in a weird way and so I don’t take his interpretation of Adam in those chapters as wholly reliable or correct. But I haven’t interacted with fanon about them a ton tbh

(send me a ship and I’ll answer these questions about it)

[clotpolesonly]

How did you get so smart when it comes to interpreting media/characters and writing such well-thought out motives and characterization and all of that? Even just picking the right words? You're able to leave such a descriptive and well-worded analysis in the TAGS on a post, it blows my mind.

(genuine question, i'm not just marveling/admiring, though i'm doing a lot of that too—i'm so opposite of that, i'm not even sure my question makes sense?)

oh gosh, this is so nice and sweet, adlfkjhdfkljh

honestly, i think it's just something that comes with practice?? like, thinking about it deliberately. empathy is a skill that can be learned and exercised, and i've put a lot of time and effort into it tbh because i find it fun and satisfying. fanfiction as a whole is, for me, an exercise in empathy because it requires taking a character that is separate from you, putting them in a hypothetical scenario, and then doing the work of putting yourself in their mind enough to determine how they would think/feel/act in that scenario.

my nighttime musings, when i go to bed, are often just......characters monologuing about their feelings 😂 no joke, like, last night was dedicated to Declan Lynch from TRC yelling at his brother about his mommy issues, and i devoted a solid hour to that topic, hahaha

the more you can put yourself in a character's shoes, the better you get at distinguishing others' mindsets from your own, and vice versa. you start learning what questions to ask, seeing patterns in the reactions people have to things, observing behavior and discerning underlying motivations. and sometimes you find that there are a plethora of options for motivation!! which is super fun and gives you room to interpret them in multiple ways, explain things differently, put together the jigsaw puzzle to make another picture tomorrow than you did today.

look at characters holistically and from every angle. ask yourself, genuinely, how you think you would react to an experience and why, and then ask if the character would have reason to react a different way. pick two characters and compare/contrast them. ask yourself "what do they have in common? what is fundamentally different about them? what experiences might give them an emotional common ground?" (rare-pair shipping is great for that last one, lol)

another exercise for it is just to read meta! read analyses from people with more experience analyzing and you start to follow the same threads and make connections of your own. i've done so much reading of fantastic, deep-diving, well thought out meta, and i read a lot of that before i ever started writing it myself.

and last but not least, talk to other fans about the characters that they're passionate about and get into the nitty gritty of why! hell, come talk to me 😂 i'll talk your ear off any day ❤️

[humanoidtyphoons]

mmkay thinking who i can cull from the faves list, there’s genuinely no point in deleting them now bc i’ve got no one to replace them with

fai d. flourite. look i love him from trc so much, but i’m so indifferent to kf as a ship and making him a vampire connecting him to kurogane’s lifespan i think is awful! actually! did not ship them before! especially do not ship them after!!! trc became its own confusing trainwreck, but honestly as a character, i was v. smitten with the mysterious enigmatic magician. i did love his backstory, i don’t love how it got handled by the end, and i’m less than pleased with his ending in general, but idk if the trc sequel is better/worse in that regard. but as a character he’s still so so dear to me, and the first half of the manga up to the acid tokyo arc remains delightful tbh.

soujirou seta. yeah the author should go to jail, but i… was so impressed with soujirou’s story tbh? i like how it unraveled and caused turmoil in the battle with kenshin? but overall, he was so fun and i unexpectedly thought he was a high point in a manga where sano and yahiko exist and ruin a lot for me, but maybe it’s the anime’s fault as an adaptation? haven’t read the manga tbf.

kurapika. listen i love me a crazed revenger who will destroy himself inside out to achieve his goals, but the point that matters most is that he let that side of himself be hidden for soooo long. initially he seemed nice and a lil serious, but well meaning. and okay, again, i’ve only seen the 99 version, but god. that rollercoaster was so wonderfully handled imo, at how it drove him miserable, but still, he believeably cared about gon and killua and leo and in turn gave one of the greatest phone call conversations i’ve ever seen. but. haven’t read the manga, don’t know how it ends (hasn’t ended tbh). but at least his arc in 99 was super satisfying for me.

[asthe]

Does anyone ask you why you stay, Sean Kendrick? They do. And why do you? The sky and the sand and the sea and Corr.

— The Scorpio Races, Maggie Stiefvater

[duncantashi]

hey you've read trc right?

is it worth it? would you recommend it? because i've heard both good and bad things and i trust your judgement

hi em <3 i'm reading the second book currently and i'm not enjoying it much tbh. i hope it gets better or maybe this series isn't for me. i like the characters more than the plot so far. i've just reblogged art and edits from the series because they are super pretty

maybe someone who has read the series can help me out here? @taylorjamie @mayclair @diwalis @wherepoetsdie (or anyone else who has read it)

[robobee]

I wish more ppl sent u chengsey fic but then I'm reminded there's not even that much chengsey out there I wanna kms this is UNFAIR

tbh it's because people don't read it

like in most fandoms there is obviously a Popular Ship but there's also smaller audiences for other stuff. like the audience EXISTS

trc is small enough and so disproportionately comprised of pynch stans who Exclusively consume pynch that that doesn't happen. obviously that's fine, it's your own choice what to consume but I'm only pointing out patterns here. the ao3 stats page will back me up but I don't feel like pulling it up rn

the problem with that is you KNOW any time you make a rarepair/non pynch fic it's either capped at 2k hits or 50. (outliers exist obviously, the longer the fic usually higher the number, etc)

it's disheartening -- hymnal RarepairsOnly Georg is an outlier who refuses to look at stats for this reason. there was this gorgeous chengsey fic that only got 80 hits despite being an adorable one shot that would have done NUMBERS as a pynch fic. I don't remember its name or author but I remember being sad it got deleted. obviously I don't know the authors reasoning, but it was so :( to see that number on something so beautifully written. it was the one where gansey gets a reading on the stairs it's so🥺

also straight up there's nowhere near enough insane fic. the backbone of a fandom is shit like the h*t fic or the m*lk fic -- inexplicably harrowing garbage with an astonishing number of hits that makes people think, yeah, I can put out something better than this! -> ergo more content.

like honestly. read all the pynch u want that's fine. I just think people should be willing to give other characters who are equally important in canon some attention too. like even DECLAN doesn't get attention wake up sheeple

edit: another thing is that people don't ADVERTISE cmon you KNOW it's hard to find fics on the ao3 so post about them! share fics yr friends make! share fic YOU'VE written but don't want to post about. etc etc

also using this opportunity to link @ravencyclerares!!

[catboynecromancy]

(pls dont feel pressure to post this if u think it'll attract annoying attention to the whole pynch Discourse going on mwah <3) but i just wanted to say that i totally agree w/ u re: the proposal stuff like ... what! lmao! i didn't even know it was a thing until that twitter thread and like. i get that like...in fanfic it's super cute to read about pynch getting married! i also LOVE it! but in canon? they are ... 19 and dysfunctional (atm anyway i mean, given that ronan is in a literal cult and adam is being a literal pathological liar kjsdfk) and it wouldnt make literally any sense and honestly i feel for maggie getting berated by ppl. like, write fanfic then! that's what it's there for! do not understand but god bless @ those ppl <3 i havent personally seen any on here so im not vaguing anyone btw ajdklf ive just Heard things

Anon, I am kissing you right on the mouth and I am holding your hand (only if you want, I mean, otherwise I am giving you a RESPECTFUL nod from a comfortable distance)!!!!

I am the biggest pynch shipper. Like, uh, can't really get more dedicated to these two! I love imagining them getting married, I love imagining them someday having kids together (biological? adopted? Love both ideas, tbh)! Generally speaking, I usually do not care for that sort of stuff in ships? But with them, God, I love it because I can truly imagine it happening one day. KEYWORD: ONE DAY!

Engagement and marriage are not the only, or even the best way to show commitment to one another. LGBTQ people have been in loving, committed, lifelong relationships for so long without marriage. (Now, again, there are benefits to being married and everyone should be able to marry, but two 19 year olds aren't really gonna be able to use any of these benefits until later in their lives, anyway!) In the original timeline for TRC, Adam & Ronan would not yet even be able to get married for another 2ish years? Because marriage equality wasn't even passed in the US until June of 2015.

The thing is, Adam & Ronan are so fucking young, they are going through so much, neither of them are mentally sound in a way that would beget a healthy marriage. I don't think, by the end of the Dreamer Trilogy, we will see them at that point, either. And y'know what? That is A-OK! I also don't believe Maggie will not give us a happy ending for them, and I don't understand why there are people who seem to think a proposal is the only way to a happy end we should be getting.

Maggie should be allowed to tell the story she wants without being pre-emptively accused of giving a gay couple an unhappy ending. We don't even know what is going to happen in the third book and I just don't get why her vaguing about a proposal being OOC somehow means she's going to do something horrible to them? They're her characters, it's her story, at the end of the day her word on them is Law and that's that! She shouldn't be getting barraged with requests from fans for a book that is already all written and (most likely) in the editing stage right now. I don't think she did anything wrong by putting her foot down and saying, "no, these are my characters, I know them better than anyone."

Anyway, I went off on a bit of a rant. We should just read and write all the fanfic about the stuff we like, instead of pestering an author for canon content that would go against her own characters.

TLDR; Marriage isn't the only or even the best way to show commitment, Adam & Ronan are going to be fine either way and maybe they shouldn't be getting married just yet, write fanfic instead of bugging the author, please, I promise it's so much more fun than trying (and failing) to get canon content!

[zoroshonkingbazonkadonkas]

bestie!!!!! why do your book recs always slap SO HARD???

foxhole court: 3.5/5 | raven king: 5/5 | king's men: 5/5 | series as a whole: 5/5

It was kinda important to me than Andrew and Neil were canon, bc tbh I don't think I've ever read a book where the MC is queer and it doesn't have anything to do with the plot. The only queer characters I've ever seen have always been in a romance novel where I specifically searched for a queer one. Never just picked up a book, liked the plot liked the characters and it just so happens to have someone queer. Maybe Nico Di Angelo (but I don't really want to count that until the solangelo book comes out bc Rick might not handle it the best). And someone on the ace-spec in a relationship is awesome and rep I've only ever gotten from the charm offensive. Idk it was just important and kinda emotional for me idk idk idk

I saw this as a criticism but I quite liked it: it's character driven, not plot driven. The plot isn't the be all end all of the book. It adds emphasis on Neil's character growth. The book doesn't end when his father is dead, it doesn't end with the FBI investigation, it ends with showing how far the foxes have come, what their future is. Idk idk I just think it's neat.

Andrew<3

Fuck Aaron. I don't like him.

Also I still don't know how I feel about Nicky. I can never forgive him for sa Neil, but I also don't like that other parts of him are likable and if it wasn't for the sa he'd probably be one of my favourite characters. Idk idk.

I like Matt and Dan. Just like <3. Like that's it that's the thought.

Wymack. again idk I kinda want him and Abby to adopt me idk.

Kevin as aromantic but not opposed to having a relationship. Just doesn't look for it and doesn't care too much abt being single.

Andrew<3

Ichirou? Kind of iconic. Idk.

Exy sounds so interesting ngl. Like it's so much better than football or something idk I don't know any more sports.

Just like. I liked it. I need more recs? Pls? I need more like this. Pls.

I LITERALLY LOVE U OMG (and its because i have immaculate taste)

charm offensive my beloved<3

RIGHT? CHARACTER DRIVEN BOOKS>>>>

same for nicky, so true

AHAHAHAH yes ichirou is iconic but im also scared of him lmaoo

trc and aftg are grouped together a lot bc theyre both character driven series' but someone very recently told me 'icebreaker' has very aftg vibes

havent read it yet, but im planning on doing so soon

[cabeswaterdrowned]

9 for aftg

A ship that isn’t your otp but that you enjoy:

Dan x Allison have really good hatefucking potential, I also like Mattdan. Honestly the only otp’s I have in Aftg would be Kandrew Andreil and Dan x Renee (the latter more based on son of nefes dynamic) so anything else I’ve enjoyed could count. There are some dynamics like Renison where I like the idea but don’t usually like the execution (also because I had so much fandom background due to trc/soc fandom before reading I think I had very different expectations for their dynamic in canon compared to what’s actually there and I do tbh think that’s a case of more convenience shipping / pair the spares to have a wlw couple than like. the average reader being genuinely interested in the dynamic lmao but I am rooting for them to become canon in tsc 2 now that two male chars who had almost no personality in the original series and never interacted have become a main canon ship (also I have not read tsc yet there’s a chance I’ll like said pairing more when I do but god does it follow some of my absolute least favorite patterns/things about fandom in fanon) but there is some meta or fic (usually the fic that leans angstier is better in this department) that I have liked.

Okay sorry for being fandom negative in the fandom positivity game the irony is not lost on me 😭

[jackietaylorsghost]

very Important adam/ronan things to take away from the cdth sampler:

“like the other lynch brothers, he was a regular churchgoer, but most people assumed he played for the other team.” i am SCREAMING. top tier gay joke. well timed.

everyone: ronan’s eyes aren’t pretty. adam: mhmm  e y e l a s h e s

much to say about the revelation that ronan is partly at the barns to keep his dreams hidden and in check, and how much he relates an inability to change and be like everyone else to having to stay there. almost like he’s stuck huh! i’ve been saying!!

of note that words used to describe ronan’s existence are BORED and MALINGERED.

fingers crossed he finds some balance between his dreams and his wants/needs that allows him to leave the barns and grow but after the Great Crab Disaster I’M WORRIED.

fire imagery EVERYWHERE. i’m WORRIED again.

“there are stains that spread faster than you drive. if you drive, it’ll take fourteen years to get there. seventeen. forty. one hundred. we’ll be driving to your funeral by the end.” good to know ronan is still the most DRAMATIC boy in the whole of virginia. absolutely no chill.

dont like the possible foreshadowing of that driving to your funeral by the end, though. must leave lynches alone!

“it’s very safe” asjkajjka DECLAN PLEASE 

“ronan kicked one of the volvo’s tires” asjkajjka RONAN PLEASE. 

ronan trying to act nonchalant by cramming chocolate covered peanuts into his mouth and choking a little is Peak Disaster Gay. 

matthew’s music must be awful if ronan and declan are in agreement over it, must have playlist. 

ronan who lives to pretend he doesn’t care wondering if his brothers didn’t say anything about his moving because it didn’t make a difference to them is huhhh. don’t like it, take it away pls.

i’m sorry, ENTIRELY WRAPPED UP IN! ENTIRELY! 

entirely

wrapped

up

in

shut up!!!! shut upppppp! 

“is there any version of you that could come with me to cambridge?” tbh nothing would have readied me for this. adam i-can-do-everything-alone asking ronan if he could go with him. so much growth, too much pride, nowhere to put it, send help.

the fact that ronan doesn’t stay in cambridge when he visits adam because of plausible deniability, that if he doesn’t try there’s no evidence he can’t make it there. rip. 

ronan! missed! him! like! a! lung! 

dramatic again, but entirely relatable bc damn, same ronan, same. 

a) ronan thinking about how his heartbeat is the same as everyone else’s so he wasn’t that different and b) JUST LIKE ADAM’S HEART WHEN HIS HEAD WAS RESTING ON HIS HEAD = much too much to think about. need to lie down for a bit.

he could move to follow the guy he loved!! we all knew it was love, we’ve always known it was love, but! the words. the words!!!!! brb sobbing.

i have only had jordan for a day and a half but if anything happened to her i would kill everyone in this room and then myself. 11/10 would marry.

art forgery plot confirmed!

THIS WAS HOW IT HAD BEGUN

bitch fkajdkajksja GIVE ME A WARNING. 

still can’t compose myself RE the info that ronan saw adam and immediately sent a desperate prayer up to god 

will the word please ever be the same again? definitely not!

adam’s arms adam’s hands his lovely! boyish! hands!

the description of his expressions with all its contradictions and multitudes is just my favourite thing ever. it encapsulates everything i love about adam fucking parrish.

and the fact that ronan instantly recognised all those multitudes in him. there was always a level of understanding ronan had for adam throughout trc that no one else did and this tells us he had that before he even met him, he just... recognised something in him i just... ;______; 

please 

ronan knowing all the harvard stats because he was the person adam could crow to, how he takes on that adam that is still full of contradictions and multitudes, how he finds it hard but he absorbs all the facts and all of adam’s anxieties, even in the face of his own anxieties about adam leaving and falling in love with the shining, educated people that ronan thinks are better than him. that absolute, unwavering support 😭😭😭

tbh there’s a whole ass lot to unpack in this section so imma try and do it briefly (she says!)

ronan lynch is a romantic cdth confirmed: 

he could have texted adam but he liked the soft surprise of it

over the past few days ronan had played his reunion with adam over in his head MANY TIMES

adam i love you but that outfit sounds awful. you are a student, it’s a friday night, put some sweats on and stuff some cheetos in your mouth. 

the sweet nervousness of their reunion, how they walk past each other and both seem so uncertain. they’re a year into dating and the still get nervous and unsure after a few weeks apart and it’s CUTE and definitely speaks to their excitement/anticipation levels.

THE WATCH. big time softness. 

they hugged hard ;_____; 

im just so relieved that they’re allowed to touch each other and be intimate and aren’t consigned to the ‘boys in love aren’t like that boring boring’ corner. 

the way ronan thinks about how adam fits as he remembered. huh. you’re really gonna do this to me.

his hand still pressed against the back of ronan’s skull the way it ALWAYS did when they hugged. 

you smell like home. you smell like home!!!!!! brb ive gone absolutely fucking feral. 

i both want to play repo because it sounds fun and don’t want to because it sounds complicated and i fucking hate instructions. much confusion. 

adam pressing his shoe hard against ronan’s and then his leg and then breathing in ronan’s ear I AM HOWLING. ronan’s nerve endings being made a marvel of I AM SOBBING. it’s very important that m/m ships are afforded the same level of explicit attraction as m/f (and i don’t mean explicit as in nsfw, i mean as in obvious)

no offence because i love them but all of adam’s friends sound Extra™

“to the outside eye, ronan lynch was a loser” pls ronan, you are giving me an ulcer.

scary spice i asjkjdkjskdjak

queer crying club! i stan!!

also adam saying in the epilogue of trk that he wanted to save all the adam’s hidden in plain view and then going to college and scooping up all the criers and giving them something to do is far too much to handle.

don’t think about that and the time he thought about how he used to spend his nights crying on the trailer steps and wondering why he bothered until gansey came along and offered him friendship. dont think about how he’s essentially paying that forward DON’T THINK ABOUT IT.

hand holding, arms around each other, hip to hip walking, can’t wait anymore kissing, I MISSED YOU. love that for me! 

but also the fact that adam reaches down for ronan’s hand and its so natural. ronan’s hand is there so he just. takes it. 

hearing ronan’s thoughts on what happened with robert at last is A Lot. the way it’s still happening, always happening, kept fresh and savage shows how affected ronan was by it all and still is and i think its so important that he’s not just. angry and hot headed. there’s more to it than that. its painful, it makes him feel sick, its unending and it really speaks to how much adam means to him. 

adam thinks he has no one BITCH YOU’VE GOT ALL OF US. 

and ronan. 

but. how he feels like he has nothing still. the way his voice hitches on ‘because’ because it’s all still so painful. i wanna wrap him up. i wanna take everything that hurts away. i wanna tell him he’s so loved. guess i’ll just have to sit back and watch him work his way through it all I GUESS. no but i am looking forward to his growth in this trilogy, especially considering how much he’s grown already. adam parrish invented character growth lets 👏 be 👏 real 👏

it had never been a fight between them/it was a fight between adam and himself, between adam and the world/for ronan it was a fight between truth and compromise, between the black and white he saw and the reality everyone else experienced. i LOVE this. it so well encapsulates them. and it’s so important that they can realise their differing world views and their complexities and meet in the middle somewhere.

“ronan put his lips on adam’s deaf ear, and he hated adam’s father” FUCK ME UP. my absolute favourite bit 103930%. absolute incoherent mess over here. not! okay! see other post for more coherency because i only had it for 5.7 minutes. 

frowning, guarded, crumpled adam who i’ll literally. never be over in all of my life. 38983/10 will love him until the end of time. 

i want it too much. !!!!!! going feral again over here. WHAT DO YOU WANT ADAM? I WANT IT TOO MUCH. definitely will never shut up about this. 

scared adam is going to be a visionary so pretending chapter 6 doesn’t exist. 

LINDENMERE ;________;

i love it already

i CANNOT believe that ronan is being dream invaded and challenged and he’s over here like hmm nice bike ELEGANT and ROUGH and READY like ADAM asjkasj please ronan you are so embarrassing!! 

also. ronan thinks adam is elegant and rough and ready so! there’s that!

i literally. cannot. cope with the HILARITY of chapter 8. the whole thing is a complete and utter DISASTER. it’s absolutely gone off in adam’s room after all his work at constructing a well put together boy. ronan comes for a night and everything goes BONKERS. amazing. 

(really worried about what this means RE ronan being able to exit the barns and grow and change and not be bored and not feel like a loser so we’re focusing on the hilarious disaster of it all.)

p.s. adam sleeping slotted between ronan and the wall OKAY. THIS IS FINE! 

p.p.s. adam’s bed hair is WILD. 

p.p.p.s i have missed adam and ronan so so so so so much and im an emotional fucking wreck

[astudyinfreewill]

tbh i get queer fans being mad/sad about kavinsky being killed off in that yeah, bury your guys can always be upsetting no matter the character. but it's weird to me when people go the 'he didn't DESERVE it blah blah' route because like, that has nothing to do with the trope. like i agree with queer characters always getting killed off being exhausting, but i don't get people going hard for this particular character lmao

hmm i… sort of agree. i guess i can understand fans being sad about kavinsky being killed off if they empathise with him, even though personally i just… can’t imagine relating to a character like that. but i honestly, genuinely don’t believe he’s an example of Bury Your Gays. it would be BYG if kavinsky was the only queer rep in the books, or even he killed himself specifically for being gay… which, no matter what people argue, he didn’t. but rather than give my opinion on it, i’m gonna take this chance to go through the trope systematically and explain why the shoe doesn’t fit. it’s meta time!

Why Kavinsky Dying is Not “Bury Your Gays”

[All quotes are taken directly from TvTropes, though the emphasis is mine.]

The Bury Your Gays trope in media, including all its variants, is a homophobic cliché. It is the presentation of deaths of LGBT characters where these characters are nominally able to be viewed as more expendable than their heteronormative counterparts. In this way, the death is treated as exceptional in its circumstances. In aggregate, queer characters are more likely to die than straight characters. Indeed, it may be because they seem to have less purpose compared to straight characters, or that the supposed natural conclusion of their story is an early death.

Kavinsky is never viewed as “more expendable than his heteronormative counterparts”. If you see Kavinsky as simply Ronan’s foil, then the reasoning doesn’t apply, because Ronan is gay himself, so he can’t be a “heteronormative counterpart”. However, Kavinsky apologists like to latch on to Gansey’s “We matter” quote to prove Kavinsky is treated as unimportant – but that’s a fallacy for several reasons. First, you’re taking Gansey to speak for the author, or for objective truth, when Gansey is one of the most unreliable narrators in the book, and his world view is extremely biased. Secondly, Gansey isn’t Kavinsky’s counterpart. Kavinsky is an antagonist, so you have to look at what happens to the other antagonists – his actual heteronormative counterparts. And, well: they pretty much ALL get killed off. Not just that, but they often get killed off in a way that does not have the emotional/narrative impact implied in Kavinsky’s death. By that reckoning, he gets the better shake. Additionally, we get 4 heteronormative villains killed off - Whelk, Neeve, Colin, and Piper. So in the series, queer characters are not more likely to die than straight characters (even among the protagonists, Gansey and Noah are the ones who “die”, where Ronan and Adam do not).

The reasons for this trope have evolved somewhat over the years. For a good while, it was because the Depraved Homosexual trope and its ilk pretty much limited portrayals of explicitly gay characters to villainous characters, or at least characters who weren’t given much respect by the narrative. This, conversely, meant that most of them would either die or be punished by the end. 

This is not applicable to TRC, as portrayals of explicitly queer characters are not limited to villainous characters; Adam and Ronan are both explicitly queer and they are treated with huge amounts of respect by the narrative. So Kavinsky isn’t being killed for being the odd one out/the Token Evil Queer; plus, there are other reasons why he doesn’t fit the Depraved Homosexual trope (while sexual molestation is a part of this trope, TVTropes encourages you to “think of whether he’d be any different if he wasn’t gay” – and Kavinsky wouldn’t. Not only because DHs are usually extremely camp while Kavinsky’s mannerisms aren’t particularly queer-coded, but also because he is not shown to have any more respect for women than he does for men, and his abuse would look the same if he was straight).

However, as sensitivity to gay people became more mainstream, this evolved into a sort of Rule-Abiding Rebel “love the sinner, hate the sin” attitude. You could have sympathetic queer characters, but they would still usually be “punished” for their queerness in some way so as to not anger more homophobic audiences, similar to how one might write a sympathetic drug addict but still show their addiction in a poor light. 

Again: Neither Ronan nor Adam – the two sympathetic queer characters – are punished for being queer, hence subverting this form of the trope.

This then transitioned into the Too Good for This Sinful Earth narrative, where stories would tackle the subject of homophobia and then depict LGBT characters as suffering victims who die tragic deaths from an uncaring world. The AIDS crisis also contributed to this narrative, as the Tragic AIDS Story became its own archetype, popularized by films like Philadelphia. 

Okay, this is DEFINITELY not Kavinsky’s case. Kavinsky’s death isn’t specifically connected to being gay (e.g.: a hate crime or an STD), and he’s never depicted as some innocent suffering victim. As for the “uncaring world”… eh. Kavinsky may not have a valid support system, but that’s just as much by choice as by chance - and when Ronan extends a helping hand and tries to save him, Kavinsky rejects it. Too Good For This Sinful Earth is definitely not in play. 

The only trope that kind of fits the bill is Gayngst-Induced Suicide… but only on the surface. As TVTrope puts it, Gayngst-Induced Suicide is “when LGBT characters are Driven to Suicide because of their sexuality, either because of internalized homophobia (hating themselves) or experiencing a miserable life because of their “deviant” gender or sexuality: having to hide who they are, not finding a stable relationship, homophobia from other parties, etc.”. Kavinsky certainly has quite a bit of internalized homophobia, but he is absolutely not experiencing a miserable life because of his sexuality – i.e. he’s not being bullied or taunted or subejcted to hate crimes. He doesn’t have to hide who he is: his parents are effectively out of the picture, his cronies worship him, and he constantly makes gay jokes to Ronan and Gansey. As for “not finding a stable relationship”… well that’s not exactly the problem, is it. He’s not looking for a stable relationship – he’s pursuing Ronan specifically, obsessively, through stalking and abuse. So even this trope is not applicable. 

And then there are the cases of But Not Too Gay or the Bait-and-Switch Lesbians, where creators manage to get the romance going but quickly avoid showing it in detail by killing off one of the relevant characters. 

Once again this is not the case with Kavinsky, as 1) there was no romance going between him and Ronan, and 2) he is not killed off before the nature of his obsession with Ronan is revealed – he gets the chance to both admit (sort of) he wants Ronan, and to confront Ronan about his sexuality, to which Ronan admits that yes, he is gay, but he is not interested in Kavinsky. So, there is no But Not Too Gay nor any Bait-and-Switch here. 

Also known as Dead Lesbian Syndrome, though that name has largely fallen out of use post-2015 and the media riots about overuse of the trope. And, as this public outcry restated, the problem isn’t merely that gay characters are killed off: the problem is the tendency that gay characters are killed off in a story full of mostly straight characters, or when the characters are killed off because they are gay.

This is a very good definition of the trope and why it doesn’t apply to Kavinsky: he’s not killed off because he’s gay, and he’s not killed off in a story full of mostly straight characters; TRC is definitely not overwhelmingly diverse, but 2 of the 4 protagonists are queer, giving us a solid 50% ratio (I’m not counting Noah because his “character” status is vague, and I’m not counting Henry because he came in so late, and also because his sexuality is the matter of much speculation).

For a comparison that will make it even clearer: take a show like Supernatural. Supernatural’s range of characters is almost entirely presented as straight white cis men (as of canon – despite much of the fandom’s hopes and speculation). They’ve had problems with diversity in general, with a lot of black characters dying immediately, and a lot of women getting fridged for plot advancement or male angst (a different problematic trope altogether). Now, apart from minor inconsequential cameos, Supernatural had ONE recurring gay character: Charlie Bradbury. And they killed her off for no discernible reason other than plot advancement and male angst, in a context that had elements of Too Good For This Sinful Earth (Charlie being a fan-favourite, ~pure cinnamon roll~, being killed by actual nazis, who historically targeted gay people). See, THAT was Bury Your Gays, AND Dead Lesbian Syndrome, AND Fridging…

However, sometimes gay characters die in fiction because, well, sometimes people die. There are many Anyone Can Die stories: barring explicit differences in the treatments of the gay and straight deaths in these, it’s not odd that the gay characters are dying. The occasional death of one in a Cast Full of Gay is unlikely to be notable, either.

…But that is not the case with TRC. As I’ve said above, there are no explicit differences in the treatments of the gay and straight villain deaths. Kavinsky’s death is not Bury Your Gays; it’s Anyone Can Die – even a protagonist’s foil who has magic powers and is present for most of the book.

Believe me, I would not be cavalier about this. As you rightly said, queer characters always getting killed off is exhausting, and as a bi woman myself, I am deeply affected by instances of Bury Your Gays. When Supernatural killed off Charlie, I wrote a novel-length fix-it fic and basically stopped watching the show – a show I had been following, flaws and all, for 10 years. I don’t take it lightly. But Kavinsky’s death isn’t Bury Your Gays, nor is it homophobia. Sometimes, a character death is just a character death.

[emmerrr]

okay so i flew through cdth yesterday in 2 sittings and now that my mind has stopped reeling and i’ve slept on it i’m ready to have some OPINIONS. long and rambly ones. spoilers under the cut!:

one of my favourite things about trc is just the way it’s written, the way the story is told regardless of what you think of the content, and i was pleased to see this continue. i really appreciate good prose, and this has it in abundance. (it’s much darker in tone than trc, but that’s to be expected!)

i loved hennessy and jordan. i loved how much of jordan’s pov we got considering she’s a dream, and i hope that we get some of matthew’s in future books, especially now that he knows the truth.

speaking of matthew, he broke my heart into splinters. the fact that he figured it out on his own rather than having to be told. leaving campus and wandering off and not really remembering/knowing why. ronan sitting there in silent shame after matthew tells him he’s just as much of a liar as declan just...it’s so painful. and i wonder if knowing that he’s a dream is the key to unlocking his own personhood, apart from ronan, if that makes sense?

because jordan and hennessy really do read as different people; jordan has independent thought and independent feeling and i know she was the most complex clone because she was the first and had been around the longest, but still. i feel like hanging around with jordan will be good for matthew.

“Matthew leaned heavily against Declan, like he would’ve when he was small. Declan wasn’t a huggable Lynch, but Matthew had never cared. He’d hugged him anyway.” -- i’m going to CRY.

also: “I went to soccer and all I could think about was how you said I might not have internal organs.” and: “It’s not real, it’s just not real. I want to be real.” -- jesus CHRIST this poor kid.

i loved the jordan/declan stuff, which i wasn’t expecting to. i’m interested to see how that unfolds especially with how painful declan thinks it is to love a dream (or to love anything, actually).

but i absolutely hated that all of the other hennessy clones were just slaughtered like that.

declan really is out here just cleaning up after ronan’s messes and trying to look after matthew and maintaining this boring image so as not to attract attention even though he’s fucking neck-deep in this illegal magical artefacts black market world huh.

i love how often he slips in that he he hates niall #same

the ronan and declan dynamic was so good. they’re clearly in a better place with each other than they were in trc but it’s also obviously still difficult, but they’re so clearly brothers and they care about each other andi just want them to be okay.

i remember seeing a theory a while back that aurora was not declan’s mother and thinking it made sense even though i didn’t particularly like it, but it was still a shock to see it right there on paper, that aurora really was dreamt in the resemblance of someone niall knew, and that is declan’s real mom. it’s SO creepy and gross. i wonder how long declan has known about that or if he’s always known.

which brings me to the fucking NIALL CLONE who clearly loves declan more than the real niall actually ever did?? like...whose dream is he? he can’t be niall’s because if so he’d be asleep, surely? i’m so confused.

i’m so excited for more hennessy and ronan interactions. i think that they need each other, they both need a friend like them who actually understands what it’s like. “Hennessy, please don’t let me be the only one.” -- he really has felt alone and now he doesn’t have to be, and neither does she.

i don’t have a whole lot to say about farooq-lane tbh because her chapters were the weak link for me. almost every time it was one of her chapters my interest dipped just a little, they were the ones i had to sit through to get to the parts i was more interested in. idk i just don’t really know enough about her yet, but as she’s clearly got a conscious maybe i’ll warm to her more in future books.

that being said i really liked this: “Sometimes people still try, even if they don’t think a thing will work. Sometimes there are nice surprises in this world, Parsifal.” 

i’m still confused about bryde. i really thought when they finally saw him he’d be someone ronan knew, and for a while i thought it might be his uncle (because the aunt and uncle from new york were mentioned a couple of times so i thought maybe they’d be relevant especially as neither of their actual names were said), but ronan didn’t seem to recognise him when he appeared at the end so now i don’t know. unless i’m missing something.

there was more adam than i thought there would be which is ALWAYS a good thing. i sorely missed his pov though and hope we get some in the other 2 books.

i love how clear it was that ronan and adam love each other. i love how often ronan mentions how much he loves adam in his pov. i love that they have their own little latin sign-off so that they know how much they love each other. i love that adam, even when irritated, casually throws out that he saved ronan because he loved him in reference to an incident that happened before they’d even kissed for the first time (and i wonder if that’s the first time it’s been said in english?). just....they’re in love man! we knew it, but it’s right there on the page!

“He loved the Barns, he was bored of the Barns, he wanted to leave, he wanted to stay.” -- i feel weirdly vindicated by this line because this is sort of how i always imagined ronan would feel about the barns eventually. everyone’s moving on and he’s stuck. 

which brings me to the fucking nightwash stuff. it’s one thing that it happens when it’s been too long since he’s last dreamt something, but the fact that it also happens when he’s too far from home is another and i find it a little tiresome tbh. i’m just hoping that this is something they find a remedy for in the trilogy so that he’s not literally trapped at the barns forever. (especially when he doesn’t want to be! he was going to look at apartments in cambridge! where adam is! and adam wants it too much!!!!)

them just walking past each other while ronan was imagining this reunion was so fucking funny, but i actually liked the hesitance there, ronan taking in that adam looked different and looked like he belonged. long distance isn’t easy and it can be hard to adjust when you see someone again after a little while even when you love them, so ronan saying ‘this is fucking weird’ was so good because it broke that tension and just...ugh, it felt so honest.

the crying club!!!!! adam collects criers around campus and befriends them!!

the fact that they think he had this idyllic childhood when that is the farthest thing from the truth, but he just wants to start over because no one there knows that about him and he can just be himself...and ronan calling him on it but then backing down just as quickly...it’s all too much!

all the dream crabs and stuff trashing adam’s room and the fallout from that with ronan obviously having to shoulder the blame but also being banned from campus was so upsetting. adam wiping the nightwash tears from his eyes and saying ronan coming to cambridge wasn’t going to work broke my heart because of how much adam wanted it to, but obviously it can’t with ronan like...leaking all over the place.

adam drove a round trip of almost an entire day on a motorbike that ronan accidentally dreamt into being in adam’s college room, just to spend a surprise 3 hours with ronan for his birthday. KING of romantic gestures.

i know the mentions of gansey and co were only fleeting, but i LOVED them, the text exchanges were so funny and so good and so THEM and they’re all so clearly still friends and i love that.

ronan’s names for people in his phone, SARGENTO, DBAG LYNCH and the fact that adam is MANAGEMENT ashjfjlhgl i can’t.

last one, but i liked how much stuff that i have read in fanfic or written into my own with regards to pynch actually rang pretty true in cdth. not necessarily with plotline specifics but more just their dynamic, how they were with each other.

i’ve definitely forgotten some stuff but i literally only read it yesterday so these are just my initial thoughts. my paperback copy arrived today so i’ll re-read it (slower) and see what i think after that, but all in all...i think i kinda loved it.

feel free to come yell at me about it and i’m sorry this is so long and messy i have a lot of feelings

[ssecretssanta]

@h-isforhome bro !! this is the last one !! holy shit !! :’)

MERRY CHRISTMAS, LOVE !! ✨🥰🎄 I seriously can’t believe it’s already Christmas ! (time isn’t real and no one can convince me otherwise lmao)

I read your message this morning and it literally made me tear up and I couldn’t stop smiling wow I can’t believe secret santa soul mates exist and we found each other :’) like wow can you believe that you’re also the sweetest and funniest person ever?? (my whole heart literally went like 😳💖🥺😍 when you called me babe wOw I’m a sucker for terms of endearment)

I’m a Pro at pretending that deadlines don’t exist and haha my room is already becoming a mess again bc I didn’t fold my laundry and now I have the Christmas Mess to deal with, but it’s definitely a mood booster to have a clean environment !

yeah I’m so excited for normal hours again and it’s not too bad working everyday cause the shifts are shorter ! your job sounds so fun ! I’m glad the scheduling is so flexible, that’s super nice ! I literally Could Not wake up that early lmao my sister and dad worked the early morning shift at Target for a while and I literally have No Idea how they did it ajsjakla I’d simply Die instead

me and my sister used to share a room and it was a Disaster lmao ! I put Christmas lights up all around my room and I just so happened to have a strand of rainbow lights and ofc I had to put them up around my closet for that Sweet Symbolism and I’m honestly gonna get a kick out of it when I come out to my family and point out how many hints I’ve been dropping lmao

(ALSJAKAL that family simply does not have rights !! who puts up more decorations RIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS??)

babe it’s mutual I guess bc you have my heart too :’) I would serenade you with some one direction songs but I simply cannot sing so I’ll have to learn the fingerstyle playing instead oR ACTUALLY I’ll play the kazoo instead of singing lmao (ukulele kazoo nonsense rights)

haha I’ve thought about watching hsmtmts but I just can’t get over how Ridiculous and Long the title is??? Like what was the Point of calling it High School Musical The Musical The Series when you could have just shortened it?? I’ve heard great things about Atypical but I haven’t watched it yet !

(literally wtf. some people just get to like See things?? without paying for it?? W A C K)

ANSBAKAL that’s so unfortunate !! (but also kind of funny ngl sorry for laughing but the image of that happening to anyone is kinda hilarious) I’m a queen of awkward situations and I’ve learned to just let myself feel Mortified for a minute and the just Repress It so I can function lmao (and then it comes back when I’m laying in bed and I can relive it and overthink my entire existence oop)

literally imagine just,,, not writing an entire essay every time we communicate?? couldn’t be me 🤷‍♀️

oh boy I Felt That. Family really is the only consistency in life, for better or for worse I guess lmao. and for real, my parents have gotten so chill and it’s nice but also frustrating bc my bro gets away with literally everything

it should be Illegal for younger siblings to be taller than older siblings tbh, it’s just not fair to disrupt the power balance like that

lmao you calling me smart made me laugh but thank you ! I live for a bit of chaos but I definitely also love the thought of having a more chill vacation so I can actually enjoy myself lmao

(that’s wack to think about)

if something ends bad I’ll literally make my own ending for it bc Nope No Thank You. fix it fanfics are truly the greatest blessing on this earth lmao. (I’m most definitely still a loser but like a Chill loser so it’s okay haha)

gay domesticity and yearning is what I live for. there’s no other point to life than to find a fellow gay to be domestic with and yearn for. (I literally had to put the book down and yell silently for a solid five minutes when I realized what he was doing lmao I was a Wreck) this is the fic !! (I haven’t read it in a While so I don’t remember much of it oof) and I want to buy trc so bad but I just have the mobile versions rn ! finding the Energy is really the biggest struggle in life

bro you’ll be able to flex so hard, just think of all that cash and like, Status. I’m already proud of you :’)

sleep deprivation and being gay are my only cultures lmao

askaklsjaka wHaT eVen?? I can’t imagine wanting to have a baby on my own birthday lmao !!

tøp is great !! I was really Into them for a long time and I still love their music but I’m not as involved in the fandom anymore haha (but !! Tyler and Jenna are having a baby !! i legit tested up when I saw them post about it on Instagram !!) your sister is Valid bc Alec Benjamin is a sweetheart and his concert was Amazing !! pit sounds like a nightmare sometimes but I want to experience it at least once in my life lmao.

I’m hoping it’ll be a fun summer bc I need some good after finishing highs school and before moving on to college lmao !

I would also love to go to Europe ! I really want to go to New Zealand, Japan, and anywhere in Europe really haha

teleportation would be So Nice like wow imagine not having to Walk. I’d personally like to be able to stop time because then I might actually be able to get Things Done for once (and sleep !! Imagine all of the sleep !!)

I’m,,, gonna cry holy shit. This is it. Time has flown this month and reading your tags is making me realize just how lucky I got to get you for this whole thing ! you’re literally The Best and I’m so glad I’ve been able to get to know you through all of these long ass messages (long is definitely our thing and i can’t imagine a better way to have done it) 🥺💕 ily !! can’t wait to be able to dm and talk more regularly !! (I feel like all our chats will end up being novel length anyways lmao that’s just the way we are I think)

merry chrismas again !! sending you all the love and good vibes !! 💕✨💞💖

with all the love,

kate @lightsupbabes (your not-so-secret-anymore santa 🎅) 

[gaybluesargent]

So how would you rank and compare cdth to the Raven Cycle?

this is complicated, right, because i can look at trc holistically and cdth is just one book so far! but here’s, like, where i’m at. 

no specific spoilers, just my feelings and some overall impressions!!

i’m infinitely more invested in the Plot of the dreamer trilogy than i was the raven cycle. “we gotta find a welsh king before the year ends” vs these immediate life or death Stakes? in general, trc was very slow for me, propelled primarily through interest in the characters. cdth is not slow. it is fast and jumpy and full of twists that will break your neck if you’re not paying attention. every single chapter maggie is snapping her fingers in your face like “are 👏 you 👏 keeping 👏 up.” (also i love Crime and there’s so much crime in this book!!)

that said, the characters in trc appealed to me more immediately, held me a little closer. probably because we saw them dealing with more Everyday issues off the bat? like, they were more Grounded? whereas the characters in cdth are immediately dealing with like. a lot of magic and a lot of murder. trc was all ‘it’s starting it’s starting’ and cdth is very much like Oh It’s Happening And It’s Not Gonna Stop Til It Stops. i came around to 90% of the new cast by the end of it and i’m excited to see more of them, but i don’t feel Confident that i Know Them after just this one book because they were all.. dealing with So Much. this isn’t an Issue though because we have two more books! it’s a trilogy! yay!

and then there’s the TONE. all maggie’s books are set by the magic imo and the magic in cdth felt…. bigger? wilder? which is the natural progression after trc tbh but WOW. it’s darker – not pitch-black, but definitely darker – and doesn’t have trc’s.. rustic hospitality. it’s flashy. it’s gross. it doesn’t want to hold your hand and look at the stars. the ocean is pretty and also it’s terrifying and also it will kill you, yknow? i think she did a great job of this, i think she still keeps a lot of that sparkling impossibility that rly Worked for her in trc – i just think it felt a little more disjointed, but i can’t even really complain about that because we’re not just dealing with a town anymore. this isn’t a story about a place. it’s a story about, like, the entire world n shit. 

after writing all this, i think it’s clear that like.. cdth is just. following the roads trc opened up. yknow? the vibe and tone are different, and i don’t think one is Better than the other – i think that’s up to taste – but if trc did its job and made you want Something More? this is certainly That. 

truly my only Big complaint was the structure, like, we do a LOT of headhopping between characters in wildly different situations, and i found it very disorienting with regards to, like… flow. orientation within the space. like i know maggie keeps saying cdth stands alone but personally i cannot imagine diving into this book with no familiarity to the world and the characters. but also i have like 3 braincells so maybe people with more pistons firing wouldn’t find this difficult. 

overall, i enjoyed it very much and 10/10 would recommend to folks who liked trc, as long as they didn’t just like trc for the ~aesthetic~, because the aesthetics are incomparable. 

[brooklyntobattlefield]

u know how racist taylor swift is right lol

I do know which is why 13 hrs ago I reblogged a whole post abt her racism. she was the only musical artist I listened to until I was 14 bc my parents aren't musical ppl so she has more nostalgia for me than just abt anything. I don't care for her very much and I haven't bought anything from her in years.

i also just wanna ask u.....u could follow me when I post a lot of mcu and spn both of which are really racist and mysogynistic. the mcu gets money from the military bc it's basically propoganda. harry potter and jkr are widely known to be homophobia, transphobic, racist, and xenophobic. Chris Evans has said some p sexist and homophobic stuff and was also in a movoe that glorified the IDF. Sebastian Stan has also said a lot of gross things and isn't known for being an icon of p.c. Sm:itsv was a great movie! and it made poor choices with how it designed peni Parker. pjo is still one of my fav book series and there are a myriad of ways in which Rick rioridian fucked up in those books(poor rep all around tbh). trc is not the pinnacle of writing it's fans pretend it is (anti feminist MAIN characters, poor lgbt rep, anti asian racism, xenophobia). POTC (one of my fav. movie series) is a colonial wet dream w Depp in a main role, all the "historical" film I love and rb about (Emma, Little women, etc) are Very White and often make the female actresses do 21st-century-hygine while pretending to be historically accurate. the boys is "edgy" and has a lot of gross dialogue and it also falls into the racist steryotype/caricatur of a mute asian assassin. atla is fetishising asian (esp Tibetan) culture and portrays characters w darker skin to be more evil and also gives a lot of it's characters blue eyes which is :/ bc most asian or indigenous ppl don't have blue eyes. tons of actors and directors who I like(or I like their work) support things I think are bad(woody Allen, Peta, Scientology, dieting schticks, trump, anti-corona, Polanski,etcetc)

like I'm not trying to minimize what Taylor's done or attack you or whatever. you can dislike Taylor swift, you can be annoyed that I'm reblogging her, you can unfollow/block me idgaf.

I'm not trying to make this into a "don't u dare attack Taylor she is a precious bean/omg women should support women not drag them down" thing bc she should be criticized but I do find it very funny that after having this blog for years and posting a lot of ~problematic stuff and also being pretty anti-tony (my anti tony tag is embarrassingly large & I made it too the anti-tony stark blocklist 😘✌️) that after posting, like a dozen??? gifs of her I've gotten 2 asks abt her. like yeah she has done a lot of things I take issue with, yes her album is hypocritical, yes I think she can and should do better, yes I can do all of that and still enjoy her new album bc literally every single thing in this whole godforsaken planet has smth problematic abt it.

anyways go call ur reps abt an issue u care abt

[flying-elliska]

I finally finished Call Down the Hawk ! Here’s my first reaction (very spoilery!!!!) 

- On the whole I loved it. Loved most of the new characters, the themes, the more grown up vibe and the expanding worldbuilding. Is very clearly a set up, opening novel so a bit frustrating in the pacing but nothing major, just a lot more questions than answers. I just felt like it was still the start of the novel, rising tension and then boom ! the end. Had the same feeling with the Raven Boys tbh. But mostly I didn’t want it to end so soon. 

- this book is so sad ? but sad in a nuanced, gotta cope with it, adult sort of way. Like TRC was about a cool adventure quest, of course there were threats but it was full of magic and friendship and the thrill of becoming yourself and wanting *something more.*This is about stopping the end of the world and people having no good options and I can’t think of one main character in this book that isn’t like...subtly devastating. But it’s sad in a way that centers the agency of the protagonists and how much they care and how hard they’re trying, so it doesn’t feel fatalistic or gloomy. It’s just *arrrrrgh my heart*. They’re all trying so hard to cope but if they don’t find a better way to cope with their problems soon it’s going to kill them. Lol the young adult mood nowadays or what. 

- Ronan broke my heart, really. I loved that on one hand there are clear signs that he’s grown so much - he is able to show tenderness, to be open about his sexuality, he’s taken control of his dreaming to a point where he’s capable to help Hennessy - but at the same time he’s clearly depressed and he doesn’t know his place in the world and feels like everyone is moving on without him. Because the implications of his powers make it impossible for him to live a ‘normal’ life. Surviving your teenage years and self-acceptance is only the beginning ; then you have to deal with a world that isn’t made for you. He needs to find his people. This is just so, so relatable for a neuroatypical twenty-something...feels like a punch in the face. I am sooooo happy he found Hennessy and I can’t wait to see where their relationship goes. Worried about Bryde and how easily he could manipulate Ronan, though. Also, I am interested in the new sun symbolism attached to him - the kid permanently dressed in black with his ‘night horrors’ previously - now he’s making little lights/little suns everywhere in the guise of fireflies or floating flowers or little lights ; he has sundogs and a sun blade. Obviously there could be a link to the fire that is slated to destroy the world (and Kavinsky’s fire dragon !!!!) but it can also very much go in the direction of ‘stepping into the light’ and full life giving potential and sun-drenched tomatoes and happiness. MAN his arc in this trilogy is going to rock so hard i just cannot wait. 

- I just love Hennessy and her girls so, so much. The idea of living with clones of yourself is so fascinating to me...the fact that Hennessy struggles with the similarities with her mother, the artist who killed herself, and how caring for the girls seems to be a substitute for caring for herself, which she can’t manage. That scene in the bathroom...heartbreaking. Like can you imagine not being able to sleep for longer than 20 min ? That’s torture. Nod her relationship with Jordan, so complex. This idea of ‘my parallel universe self can live a better life than me if I keep all the self-hate’ ; of dreaming a better version of yourself. They care for each other so much but there is so much resentment being trapped in that state of being too. I wonder why Hennessy dreamed copies instead of something else : out of a need to be less alone with her plight ? To find others like her ? Or is it a darker ‘take her not me’ way to hide ? The fact that she gets a moon sword in the end (the moon being a reflection of the sun duh) makes this symbolism all the more present. Maybe she had this struggle of feeling like a copy of her mother, beautiful and wild and doomed and codependent on the man she loved. I can’t wait to see where this goes. I was just heartbroken that most of the girls had to die. Plus some bi rep yayyyyy (and more characters that are not white dudes ftw). It’s interesting that the Lace picked her specifically to torment ; I can’t help but feel it’s tied to that unsteady sense of self. Anyway, I really hope Hennessy gets to a place of love and self knowledge and self care and being surrounded by people who love her. I feel like her POV really underlines how tiring it can be to doubt yourself so constantly. 

- Declan Lynch ! Wow, I just love love love a POV switch that shows unsuspected depths about a previously disliked character. His arc is really *eldest sibling plight* taken to the extreme. Being boring for survival because you can’t afford to be a problem. Yup, extremely relatable too. It’s very refreshing because a lot of the MC of TRC have this ‘edgy cool we don’t like rules vibes’ which can come over as very immature (i meah duh they’re teens) and Declan had to grow up too fast and his sticking to the rules and trying to impose structure on Ronan’s life and completely draining his own life of any sense of joy or individuality, feels half like a survival technique half trauma response stemming from the terror of being given responsibilities at way too young an age and coping with the chaotic environment he grew up in and the constant threat of discovery. It’s like, textbook ‘child parentalization’ and it really sucks and Niall Lynch is an incredible asshole. And Ronan is pretty much stuck in father worship mode and turning all his anger towards Declan. The growth there...is going to be super therapeutic. And I love his thing with Jordan. Survival makes it impossible for them to be their true selves but they find something true together ? Aww. I can’t wait for them to be together at the Barns, which is really Romance Central in this universe. (I foresee angst too but ehhhh). And more art flirting and museum dates. 

- I also love how dream beings are getting more autonomy in this book. I think Declan distancing himself from Jordan in the end is this old complex about being non-magical and therefore inferior, but also because he doesn’t consider dreams to be real people capable of consent or interiority. I found the idea of Aurora Lynch always extraordinarily fucked up and in this book we learn it’s even worse - that she was basically a copy of Declan’s real mom ? Imagine growing up with that...no wonder he hates Niall. Though the idea of Mor O Corra doing the same thing is really intriguing, makes you wonder what the fuck happened there (was it a mutual decision ? was it a revenge thing ? Man their whole family is just so messed up lmao. But I just love the idea of Boudicca and the magical lady mob though.) And Matthew learning he is a dream and starting to deviating from his ‘happy but kind of dumb’ behavior in the previous books. He’s always been this previsible creature but now he isn’t and I feel like a big difference between him and Jordan was this knowledge. She has this knowledge of what she is and she immediately has more sense of self and agency and I feel that that’s a key theme of the book - knowledge, self knowledge. It’s basically what the ‘Call Down the Hawk’ title links to - Bryde talking about the man who turned into a falcon and then a hawk and learning so much about the world ; calling down the hawk would mean the man coming down and sharing this knowledge ; for Ronan it’s as well meeting and helping Hennessy ; so it’s about knowing your own nature through meeting people who are like you, as well. I love !!!!!

- Adam ! Not enough Adam in this book. I spent the book missing him, but that makes sense, because that’s the mindset Ronan is in. He represents what Ronan can’t have, and the Longing tm just permeates the whole book. Everytime he appears he’s just the epitome of cool, whether as dark academia vibes Harvard Student with his queer clique the Crying Club or Hot Motorcycle Boyfriend. He knows exactly what Ronan needs - understands his distrust when Ronan wonders if this is the Real Adam, tells him ‘go slow’ instead of just don’t, wants to take a look at Bryde to check the dude out, drives eight fucking hours on a motorcycle he can’t even drive properly to spend three hours with Ronan...he’s just like a dreamboat in this one lmao and after all the shit he went through in TRC...Therapeutic. But he is also increasingly distant and it’s so painful in a delicious way - the longing between characters who are already together but who are being kept apart by life is one of my fave angst tropes ever. Ronan wants to grow old with him and has romantic horny farmer dreams about him and the whole ‘tamquam alter idem’ thing...Boi i die that shit is just so...Romance tm. And I love how true to them it is, they’re achingly tender and yet there is still that strong chaotic shithead vibe between the two of them. Honestly the fight with the murder crabs was fucked up but made me laugh so much too. But then Ronan not being able to stay ? HEARTBREAKING. Ronan having Adam under ‘MANAGEMENT’ in his phone...really fucking funny but also feels like Ronan puts a sense of stability and direction in Adam and now that Adam is so distant...he feels extra vulnerable so he compensates with jokes. Ouch. Anyway I really want more about Adam and the Crying Club. Adam’s mix of cold, calculating pragmatism and compassion and understanding ? I love him so much, damn. I hope he’s a POV character in next book. I can see Ronan disappearing with Bryde and Adam looking for him, tbh. He’s too important to Ronan to stay on the periphery forever I hope. 

- the Carmen Farooq-Lane chapters were my least favorite, especially when she’s with Parsifal - it felt kind of repetitive. I feel like Maggie’s villain chapters are often sort of a weak point - the bad guys tend to be either ‘Vague Ominous Cosmic Horror Entity that wants to Destroy Everything’ (also often a terrifying reflection of mental health issues/existential terror) or ‘Evil Prep’ lmao, and I had the same feeling w the Whelk or Greenmantle chapters in TRC. That said, I feel like Farooq-Lane has potential. Her persistent self delusion about how she’s the good guy is fascinating. Her ‘evil sibling, obvious trauma hidden by politeness and cleanliness, probably is going to have a redemption arc’ thing feels very Gray Man. Her punching Ramsay moment was very ‘hell yeah’ and tbh I already ship her with Liliana - who feels a bit underdrawn at the moment too, but interesting potential. The Moderators, still, feel a bit too ‘generic lawful evil agency’ yet, but the concept is interesting. I really really love Bryde as an idea though. His speeches to Ronan are fascinating ; from one aspect they really illustrate a fascinating concept of the Earth coming back to real magic but from another, he sounds like a cult leader. Selling this idea to vulnerable people that their difference makes them special - and well Ronan and Hennessy definitely are, but does that make them better than other people ? Seen as how Ronan reacts to Declan, it feels like he would be vulnerable to that idea. Hennessy not so much ; I can see her accept Bryde’s help out of pure necessity maybe, but not be swayed by his lies. I really feel like they’re going to need each other. 

- So much cool worldbuilding...The Fairy Market concept is amazing (but also scary as shit right...like they’re selling people ? Probably dreams but that is still fucked up as hell ? Then again we’ve seen dreams die in pretty casual circumstances so the question is very much ‘so...what is personhood here?’). The idea of Visionaries is absolutely horrifying. Some people saying Adam could become one ? My god I’m not sure if I could stand those levels of angst. His ‘seeing the future of the world instead of people’ thing though...feels very compatible. Or at least like Adam could contrebalance the Visionaries’s visions somehow at the very least. Anyway, this is going to hurt. But it’s cool to have more answers ; the ending of TRC left a lot unexplained in my mind about the Lynch fam or why all those people wanted the Greywaren so bad etc. So this is very satisfying. 

- So Miss Maggie really went wanting to be normal at the expense of your true self is no way to live and also if you don’t create what you need to, you're going to die ? haha thanks for the callout i feel attacked. But honestly her saying that this was about the necessity and price of creation man I am soooo interested in where this is going to go next. All in all a stellar book, 10/10 would read again to overanalyze (yeah more than this even), most frustrating thing is waiting for the next one