#so mow its like.... im just so scared and so tired
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Well it's finally happened, and I've been turned over to collections for being unable to pay the sum of my emergency visit. The American Healthcare system is horrid and I do not know how I'm going to pay this 2k charge when I don't even have 200 in my account.
I have one more commission to take care of, and then I'm taking a few days off, then I'll see about opening more, I guess.
Best part about the whole thing, they didn't even fix the issue. I still have pain almost daily from the large cyst on my ovary and I owe 2k for them to tell me. "Yes that's a cyst on your ovary. It's about the size of an orange. Here's some Hydros, Merry Christmas."
Fucks sake I feel so dejected haha
#sweet talkin#tw medical#bitchin#like fr idk what to do i barely make enough for bills and shit#and id forgotten how much i owed#so mow its like.... im just so scared and so tired#like i legitimately cant have a moment of peace before things get bad again
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i hope i die, you broke my heart
#personal#so fucking tired oh my god#just yelled at my sister so loud that my throat is sore over a piece of fuciing plastic#sometimes ecerytbinf feels so bad and its like. what do i even do#like ok i relapse and i need a break from someone and they loose their fucking shit on me#taljing about how you always deal with my shit and youre tired of how i see you as the worst in the group#as if i didnt literally repeat to you over and over again that i love you and that i always will even when you kept denying it#all of the times youve left all the servers and the gc and all that and i was there to comfort you#theres a reason im always the person you go to#byt yeah . im neverrrr there for you#like is it just that im not there for you in the Same Way that youre there forme ??#does it need to be completely equal to be fair#and idk. i know hes struggling too but its so fucking stupid because ive been struggling for months and i dont treat u like tjat#im tired of feeling like i have to do two times more than everyone else ro be worthy of their love#like sorry man but im fucking sick and tired#i know ill be fine without you but like youre so sick right now that i dont know what youll do without all of us#idk im just like. you used to be so kind but now youre writing your name in mu blood#and sometimes i feel bad because i didnt mean evedytbinf i said to you but lets be honest#you didnt mean everyrbinf you said either#and i dont know if you were ever the right person because a lot of the time i think we are just two chemicals that werent meant to mix#but ill always remember you when i hear that one song and im making it sound like this is some kind if goodbye but it Really isnt#but like there was a time when i would tear myself apart for you. mot even because i liked you that much#i guess i just wanted someone that liked me as much as you did???#and when j say that it isnt even about one soecific oerson. its an amalgamation of ecery person tgat has ever loved me#a little more than they were supposed to#i think i hate ahen people love me Too Much because i dont want to be adored like that it scares me#iknow what thats like and i dont want to be someone fp Its so scary#okay if im being honest i dont know whbat the fuck im saying right mow#byt like. idk. im tired and i think im done. tbh#💭
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Things I’m doing instead of cleaning
Why does it take me months to clean and put away laundry why am I like this why 🥺I’m not even talking deep clean. I’m talking the basics of straightening. Living in such a small space with kids is fucking hard yall. It’s so hard. Part of it is I’m fucking tired and therefore lazy. Part is I feel stressed and angry at how messy my kids are and I just avoid addressing it while they’re here so I don’t lose my cool and yell. (And almost everyday I don’t have them I’m working or recovering from working 14 hour shifts). And then there’s the fact that this place is infested so there’s no “if I clean there won’t be bugs” bc I spent a year of spotless house with all the bugs and it’s fucking depressing. Im deadly afraid of roaches but I’ve desensitized my self enough to where I can kill one behind my kids back with my bare hands just to avoid scaring them. 😳🤮(bc they don’t love them either)
I silently and calmly killed a wolf spider the size of my palm with my bare hand in the bathtub yesterday while Molly was about to shower bc I didn’t want her to freak the fuck out too. Living in the country has its downsides I guess.
Re court. I need to win. I need to get the fuck out of this or gut it and start over (which I’m renting so lol I can’t but I could do something better with like a little spending money as far as organizing tools/dressers shelves etc🤦🏻♀️)
Part of my lease agreement is/was? mowing like 10 acres. Well the landlord recently said I need to look at buying my own mower this coming year. LOL. I currently use one of his 2 zero turn commercial ($20k) mowers…bc that’s what he said originally. Because one time in 2 fucking years I accidentally ran over a hose and he had to remove it…everything was fine…... I’m just gonna not. It’s not in said lease. Said lease is also not valid since like a year ago…bc he never made a new one for me to sign. I figure if and when he asks me to leave (if it’s before I can feasibly leave on my own) I’m just gonna middle finger and let him go to the courts to get me out bc fuck him and his judgmental racist self. That should give me like 8/9 months right?
My kids still take turns sleeping with me. Because they want to. My girl is super cuddly. My boy has stopped w cuddling but still likes being near. It was his turn last night. When he got up this morning Molly immediately jumped into bed curled around me and said “my mama” like she did as a baby and my heart melted. This is why I don’t clean while they’re here rn. I don’t have the patience to do it calmly(lately) and top tier requirement for me is to make my home a safe space emotionally (and physically) for my kids.
I’m rambling bc hey I’m still avoiding cleaning. I need a friend. Someone to come over and just chat w me while I do this. But I have one friend and she only comes over like 1-3 times a year. I usually go see her bc she lives in a “mansion” with a craft room and I’m already out driving kids to school anyways.
Anyone wanna call and chat? Or text? Pm me if so. I’m US based. No it won’t be sexual. Just friendly chit chat
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Evening all :)
Alrighty, lets continue with the story :)
Wish you all a nice evening!
CALL OF THE RAVEN
PART 19
The next few days i bussied myself working, Jake doing his thing. We barely talked, every effort of his to start a conversation with me ended quickly. I hated myself for doing this to him, but i wasnt up for anything. I turned my phone off, but he took it and turned it back on, saying he will take care of it. Me? I just wanted a few days of peace without those fricking calls messing with my mind. So i had my headphones on, loosing myself in the music, focusing on my work. I saw, ofcourse, when the calls occured, frustration growing at him for yet another failure at locating the call. The close4st he got to it, was that the calls came from within Duskwood. But that meant as little as nothing.
On the morning of the third day, things wernt much different. Coffee was waiting for me when i woke up. I took a shower, taking the coffee, giving Jake a quick kiss, moving back to bed. He still looked worried, the rings arround his eyes starting to show. But he didnt force me to anythig, he just left me be. I took my headphones, the sound of music making me forget the world arround me. I was lost in my work, when i noticed Jake standing next to the bed, handing me my phone. I took the headphones off. „It's Jessy.“ He said, „She's calling for the third time allready.“ He looked at me pleadingly, and i sighed taking the phone from him. „Hello, Jessy.“ „Finaly!“ her cheerful voice chimed from the other side. „Trying to get ahold of you is tougher then trying to call the pope himself!“ she laughed. „Haha, very funny.“ I said, sounding a bit sassy. „Oh my, who stepped on your toe?“ Jessy replied a bit hurt at my sassiness. Jake looked at me intensly, and i cursed for snaping at her. „Im sorry, Jessy“ i started appologetically, she didnt deserve this. „Been feeling a bit 'under the weather' lately, its no excuse to snap at you.“ „No worries, Maya, i understand.“ She said. „Even more of a reason you need some fun!“ she chimed. „Put me on speaker, i want to talk to both of you.“ „Uhm, alright.“ I said, lowering my phone, putting her on speaker, Jake looking puzzled at me. I just shook my shoulders at him, having no clue whats this all about. „Alright, you're on speaker, go on.“ I told her. „Good! Hello, Jake, by the way.“ She said cheerfuly. „Hello, Jessy.“ He answered. „Now, you two are comming later to Dan's place for babrecue and to hang out.“ She chimed from the speaker.“And dont try to make an excuse why you cant, i dont wanna hear it!“ she said stern. „Be here arround 4. And ill text you Dans address later.“ She didnt let us say anything „Allrigh, thats settled then. See you two later.“ She chimmed, adding before she hung up „Oh, and Jake, let Maya breath a bit!“ she said teasingly, making Jake rise his eyebrow at the phone, and me smiling at it. „Later you two.“ „Finaly.“ Jake said as i lovered my phone down. „Huh?“ i looked confused at him. „You smiled.“
I was sitting on the bed putting my sneakers on. Jake was taking his laptop and some other things from the desk, stuffing it all in his backpack, along with my phone. „You're taking all that with you?“ i asked. He turned to me „Well, i want to be ready, in case of..“ he trailed off, and i finished „In case of any new calls.“ My mood darkened again. Jake came to me, crouching infront of me. „Maya, i know this is frustrating“ He took my hands in his. „But i cant help if you turn your phone off and ignore the calls.“ He looked so tired again, and worried, his eyes dark, matching my mood. I hated it. Everything was starting all over again. But this time it was me that was most affected by it all. I sighed „I know, you're right, but its eating at me inside, Jake. It feels like darknes is creeping at me, slowly taking all the joy and happines away.“ My words made his eyes look even darker, his face showing all this was hard on him as much as it was on me. He lowered his head on my knees, and i ran my hand through his hair. „Its killing me to see you like this.“ He said it so desperatly, my heart squeezed. „Hey“ i said softly, making him look at me. „I'll be fine.“ I wished we could just run away somewhere, leave all this behind, forget the world exists. But with my luck, shit would follow no matter where i go. I smiled at him „ We should go. Or Jessy might send SWATs if we dont show up on time.“ He smiled at it, getting up, pulling me from the bed „Lets go.“
We walked in silence to Dan's place, each lost in our own thoughts. As much as i didnt want to go, maybe this would be exactly what i needed. And I was happy i'd see Jessy, her cheerfulness would be welcoming. We stopped at one of te houses, Jake announcig we're here. It was smaller,a single storey, but i found it the perfect size. It had a nice big back yard, grass neatly mowed and fence trimmed. We came to the front door, Jake ringing the bell. Dan opened it grinning at us „Whoa“ he said „Who got you two in such a 'good mood'? You look like shit!“ „Gee, thanks Dan, again, thats exactly what i wanted to hear.“ I told him, Jake silently standing beside me. „Aww, Maya“ Dan started „Like you dont know me by now. I always say it as it is.“ He grined at us, and i chuckled „Unfortunaly, i'm aware of it.“ „Well, come on in, Jessy is already impatiante waiting on you to show up.“ He ushered us in. „Just continue straight to the kitchen“ Dan instructed me. I entered the kitche, Jake and Dan following. Jessy smiled at seeing us, running to me for a hug „Finaly! I was worried i would have to send Dan to get you!“ she said cheerfuly. „I dont doubt you'd do it!“ i said, letting her go. She turned to Jake now, hugging him. He was surprised by it, looking all fidgety, not knowing what to do. He hugged her back akwardly, and i chuckled. Jessy let go of him, noticing him being uncomfortable. She winked at him „Oh, dont worry, Jake, i dont bite.“ I couldnt keep it anymore, so i laughed. It was Dan that came to his rescue, patting him on the back, „Dont scare the poor guy, babe. Rather give him a beer.“ Jessy grined at Dan, turning to the fridge, grabbing two beers, handing them to Jake and Dan. Jake took a sip, calming his nerves „Im not scared.“ he said, turning to Jessy, still being a bit uncomfortable. „Dont worry, man“ Dan said to him in his dramatic way „I get you, she can be scarry sometimes.“ Jessy looked at Dan furiously, throwing a rag at him, as he stuck his toung out at her running to the other room. Jake chuckled at it, but she looked at him all serious, making him avert his look, taking another sip of the beer. She turned to me „Want some wine?“ „That'd be great.“ I told her smiling. She poured a glass and handed it to me. „Oh for the love of it!“ Dans voice ringed from the other room. I looked at Jessy questionably. She sighed „He is trying for the last hour to connect the outside speakers so we can have some music in the back yard. Unsucessfully, as you might notice.“ Jake said „I'll go help.“ Jessy smiled at him. „Thank you!“ „Hey, i dont wanna stay here to test that theory about you biting.“ He grined at her, leaving the kitchen to join Dan. Jessys eyes opened in bewilderement, turning to me „Did he just joke?“ I chuckled at her „He's getting better at it.“ We both laughed. She got back to finish the salad she was doing when we came. „Can i help with anything?“ I asked „No, you just sit and relax, i'll join you any minute.“ I sat at the table, taking a sip of my wine. Few minutes passed, when music was heard through the open doors leading to the back yard from the kitchen. „Finaly!“ Jessy exclimed cheerfully. „Thank you, Jake!“ She yelled. „No worries.“ He yelled back. „Hey, i helped, too!“ Dan yelled sounding offended. „Ofcourse you did.“ She yelled back sarcasticly, making me laugh again. She came joining me at the table. „So, how are you, Maya?“ she asked. „I've been better.“ I answered honestly. „I'm tired, Jessy.“ I sighed „All thats happening is becoming too much on me. I feel like im drowning, and at the same time i feel numb.“ She looked at me concerned. „I'm barely keeping it together. If it wasnt for Jake..“ i trailed off. He really was the one keeping all this madness of mine at bay. „He is worried about you.“ Jessy said, hesitating for a moment before she continued. „He called me yesterday.“ „He did?“ i asked surprised. „He was desperate, Maya. He had no idea what to do, it was eating him alive. He told me what happened. He begged me to help, mumbling something like he let you down. I barely managed to calm
him.“ „Shit.“ I said, lowering my head on the table. „I never tought I might make him feel that way.“ I looked back at Jessy „I would crumble to pieces long ago without him.“ „I know that, Maya.“ Jessy squeezed my hand. „Just talk to him, dont shut yourself out.“ She smiled softly at me. I smiled back, going to her for a hug „Thank you, Jessy. You are the only one beside him that can pull me back on my feet again.“ „Im here for you, i told you that before, and i mean it, Maya.“ She said to me hugging me tighter. We pulled apart and she got up. „What are they doing in there? They should be out in the back already!“ she exclimed, moving to the doors of the next room where Dan and Jake wer. „Dan Anderson!“ she yelled from the doors. I joined her, laughing at the scene in front of me – Dan and Jake wer sitting on the floor playing a game. Boys will be boys, right? „If you dont put down that controller and get your ass out in the yard right now, i swear to God...“ Dan tensed and jumped up in a heartbeat at her words „Yes ma'am!“ Jake chuckled at Dan, but Jessy turned to him now „Hey, hackerboy, dont you laugh, you're joining him!“ Jake was up on his feet even faser then Dan, and they both started walking reluctantly out of the room. Dan passed us, but suddenly turned to me. „Hey, how come she can call him 'hackerboy', but you go beserk when i do it?“ he asked being dramatic again. I smirked at him „She can call him whatever she wants.“ Jessy burst out laughing. I turned to Jake going for a kiss. I whispered to him before i moved „I just said it because im scared of her myself.“ Jake laughed at it, quickly kissing me once more, going after Dan.
Jessy lowered a cup of coffee in front of me, going back to sit. We stayed in the back yard after eating, dusk slowly setteling in, the sky in multiple colors. It felt calming. At the end, I was glad we came, i needed this after everything that was happening. Even if the sight of my phone on the table in front of Jake did make me feel uneasy, i decided to ignore it. I had to pull it together. I couldnt let this shit get into my head so intensly, or I would definatly go insane. And learning from Jessy that Jake was affected by it so much, just made me more determined at it. It was Dan who broke the silence, bringing the tention at the table. „So, Maya, are we gonna talk about those calls and everything now?“ Jessy shot him an angry look, Dan not paying attention to it. „No, we are not.“ Jake said calmly, before i could even speak, a hint of frustration noticeable in his voice. „O really? And why not?“ Dan asked lookin at Jake fiercly. „Because, it doesnt concern you.“ Jake told him, returning equaly fierce look. „Whoa, you fucking kidding me, man?“ Dan said, raising his voice „It most definatly concern me.“ „And why the fuck is that?“ Jake hissed back at him, frustration rising up at him. Jessy was silent, and so was I. There goes a nice evening, i tought to myself. „Because“ Dan started, hising back „I consider Maya to be my friend, so if she is in trouble and needs help, im here for her.“ „She doesn't need your help, she's got me for that.“ Jake was already on the edge of loosing control, but Dan didnt care. He snorted „You mean like last time?“ „Dan, i'm warning you...“ Jake told him, barely containing himself. „Dan, stop it!.“ Jessy begged him. „No, I wont stop.“ He told her, being agitated more and more now. My head began to puls, all this was going too far now. „Dan, dont.“ I pleaded, but he barely spared me a look. „He wasnt here when shit hit the fan last time, Jessy, I was! We were, not him!“ Jake tensed for a second at Dans words, pounding his fists so hard on the table „You fucking moron, dont you think i wouldnt have been here if i could?!“ He was furious now, i had to interfere before this escalates for the worst. „Enough!“ I shouted, shooting up from my chair. They both looked at me surprised, but still furious. „Thank you, Jake, but i think i can speak for myself. The question was dirrected at me, after all.“ i told him, rubbing at the side of my head with one hand. He slouched in his chair, stung by my words. Dan smirked, but i turned to him „And you, you know damn right why he couldnt be here, you have no right rubbing it to his face like that!“ He fel silent at that. „Now, if you two are done with this 'cock fight', great, we can discuss it like civilized people. Otherwise, both of you can go to hell!“ I sat back, my head still pulsing, all looking astonished at me. No one spoke for what felt like eternity, Dan finaly breaking the silence again „I'm sorry, Maya. I didnt want for this to happen.“ He said, looking apologetically.“What i wanted to say, to try and make Jake here realize once and for all, is that we are here to help.“ He turned to Jake now, all that rage from before replaced with sympathy „Damn it, man, i have no clue what kind of 'friends' you had in your life so far, but you gotta learn to trust people and let them help.“ I took Jakes hand in mine, and he looked at me „Dan is right.“ I told him softly „And you know it.“ He sighed. He wasnt used to this, looking to others for help. He always relayed only on himself, but it was time for a change. He turned to Dan. „I apologize...for calling you a moron.“ I squeezed his hand, him bringing it up to his face, landing a soft kiss on it. Dan looked back at him, still serious „You mean 'fucking moron'?“ We all turned to look at him, and i tought all will start going downhill again. But then Dan grinned, Jessy hitting him on a shoulder for messing with us. I shook my head, smile appearing on my face. Dan extended his hand toward Jake „Look, man, i meant it, if you need help with anything, dont hesitate.“ Jake looked at him for a moment, accepting
Dans hand in a tight grip „Thanks.“ Jessy grinned at them, saying teasingly „Aww, i think this is the beginning of a beautifull friendship!“ I burst out laughing, Jessy joining me. Both Dan and Jake looked at us in disbelief, when Jake turned to Dan „I think i need another beer.“ Dan looked at him, nodding his head in agreement „You and me both, man. C'mon.“ He gestured for him to follow, as Jessy and me laughed even harder.
After all the tension, the rest of our evening was quite entertaining. Jake felt more realxed, but still got uncofortable at Jessy's openness and teasing. And him and Dan getting along after everything was welcoming. It was pretty late when the two of us said our goodbyes and left. The streets wer silent, only our footsteps echoing as we walked towards motel. Sleep was slowly getting at me, and i shivered from the nights chill. Jake threw his hand arround me, pulling me closer to him, his vicinity making me feel warmer instantly, and I leaned my head on his shoulder. „Thank you.“ I told him after a while. „What for?“ „For tonight.“ I said, smiling. „I had fun. It was exactly what I needed.“ „It was....interesting.“ He said. I chuckled „ Dont worry, i'll talk to Jessy to go easy on you in the future.“ He laughed „Thanks. I'll get used to her,eventually.“ I got serious „She told me, by the way. What you did.“ He tensed at it a bit. „Its fine, Jake.“ I said. He was silent, but I knew he was still bothered by it all. „Hey, talk to me.“ I said. He pulled away from me, putting his hands in his pockets. „Its just..I mean.. never mind.“ I stopped in place, Jake making few more steps before turning to me. „Jake, please.“ I said softly. He got agitated again. He was silent for a moment more. „Fuck it“ he said, raising his voice in frustration “I wasnt enouhg, Maya!“ „What are you talking about?“ I asked confused. He sighed and sat on the floor, leaning his hands on his knees. I came and sat infront of him. He looked desperately at me „I wasnt enough. I couldnt help you. I've let you down, again.“ My heart ached so much, it pained me to see him like this. „Jake, you didnt let me down. And you did help me.“ He snorted „You sure about that?“ „Yes“ I said, smiling at him. „Dont you get it, it was exactly what Dan was refering to earlier.“ „What do you mean?“ he asked. „What I mean , Jake, is that sometimes you need another helping hand.“ He still wasnt convinced. „But i'm suppose to take care of you, me Maya. To keep you safe, to make it all better. And i cant even do that right!“ „Jake, I would crumble to pieces long ago without you.“ i said softly „You make all this bearable for me. You are my light in all this darkness. So please, stop doubting yourself.“ He sighed „Easier said then done.“ I got up, extending my hands for him, smiling softly „Then, let me be your 'helping hand', I promise to take all that doubt away.“ He just stared at me for a while, before he took my hands, letting me pull him up. He leaned his forehead to mine and hugged me. „You are amazing, have I told you that already?“ I smiled „You might have, but pleast, dont ever stop.“ He chuckled and kissed me „Thank you“ he said, as the kiss ended. „For?“ i asked. „For being the way you are.“
We continued towards motel, hugged once again. I hoped my words eased his mind. Him opening to me more was a welcoming step forward, but still, much of the work to be done here. There was practically nothing I knew about his life before we met, and honestly, i wasnt sure how much of it I wanted to know, as much as I might be curious about it. I never asked him, and he rarely said anything of it. I knew that currently he was 'doing stuff' for someone, allowing him to be here freely. And I did tell him i'm ok with it, and that I trust him, wich i do, completely. But there was constant fear in me that things might turn for the worst again. With my toughts wondering off like that, i didnt realize we wer in front of motel room. Jake was about to put the key in the lock, stopping abruptly. „Jake?“ i asked worriedly, as he pulled my phone from his pocket. Another call. He set it earlier to vibrate, so no wonder I didnt hear it. He was about to answer when i stopped his hand „Dont.“ I said, looking pleadingly at him. „Maya..“ he said softly. „Please, Jake, just dont“ i said, sounding tired. I sighed „Just this one time, let it be. Give me just this one night, please, to feel normal again.“ I let go of his hand. The phone continued to vibrate, then stopped. „Thank you.“ I said relieved. He turned back to the doors, letting us enter. He went to the desk, taking his stuff back on it from the backpack. „I know we should have answered it.“ I said, standing next to bed, taking my sneakers off. „But i just wanted to go to sleep tonight with a smile, not worry and frustration.“ Jake walked to me putting his hands around my waist. „Well, i know of one way you can get rid off some of that frustration.“ He raised an eyebrow at me, his eyes sparkling. „Oh really?“ i asked. I turned us, so his back was facing the bed, and pushed him on it, situating myself on him. I intertwined my fingers with his on both hands, moving our now joined hands abowe his head. I leand to him as i did it, stopping my face just an inch from his. „Are you sure you want this?“ i asked teasingly. „I still have much of the previous frustration in me, it could last a while.“ His eyes flared at my words. He roled me on my back, our hands now above my head. He released one hand, moving it down my body, that flare in his eyes intensifying with every heartbeat. My whole body trembled with my own desire under his touch. He kissed me so fiercly, and said with a heavy breath as he broke our kiss „Good.“
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(march 13th, 2021)
is it in my head? I am thinking that this is all in my head. Is this all in my head? Am I gentle? Am I kind? I go to bed at night and wake up in the morning and think again and again and again about how I should really be a good person? Am I a good person? I like to have faith in that I am, and that I do good and that I am good. I believe in God. But believing is not enough, you have to act like it. Goodness is not enough, and thinking about being a good person is not the thing I should be thinking about, but I can’t help it and it always circles back to being a good person or if I did things the good way, like pouring orange juice into a cup. Did I do that the good way? I am not a perfectionist, and I know this because when I pour orange juice into a cup I spill it.
what was it? that poem or essay I read months ago from today...? the day that I slept in the sun and blamed my dizzinesss on how I slept in the sun, and not what made me sleep in the sun, that day. I know I slept in the sun because I wanted to sweat things out of me on purpose. I got four shades darker and couldn’t recognize myself in the mirror-- and everyone thought I looked just the same. that was the best part, I think. but what was the poem? It was in a collection of stories? or essays? I don’t know the title, or the other words in it, just that the poem or story said, “and no one can ever figure out what you want, and you won’t tell them.”
I have secrets, stories, feelings hidden away from me. I don’t know what I want either. and there are always quotes in my head from people I forget the names of like, someone said “innocence is lost when you realize you don’t know yourself” and I thought about it and I wondered if I lost my innocence because I thought I knew myself but then something weird happened with the air or with my feet or with the people’s bones around me and then I realized that I didn’t. we experience heartbreak without the love, looking at the fossils of our ribs, our ribs wrapped in newpaper with our own personal headlines written on it. we flush our personal newspaper headlines down the toilet. we save the ribs. but I don’t flush my headlines down the toilet I think I like to save the wrapping to look at later. but my ribs are always gone.
I think I am boring because I entertain ridiculous hypotheticals, and then I make limericks about it that start with the standard “there once was a man named...”
you think im not scared of sharing myself? I really am. I worry that I use too much language of the layperson but that’s because I am a layperson and not at all extravagant. I have these scary ass situations I think of where someone will catch me. They’ll be like we’re exposing you! I don’t have anything at all to expose, but I always imagine niggas coming up to me and exposing me for the something, like I did some bad shit but who knows how much bad shit I did, or thought? honestly. and I think this happens because my brain mistakes sharing myself for exposing myself and I feel guilty when I share parts of my self because so many niggas are irresponsible with it. but it’s not about them being responsible at all. it’s about the fact that it’s true. and I shouldn’t care if niggas are irresponsible with the truth. but most of what is true is regular, and nobody says anything that is true; we hide them even though we all know its true and it is times like this that I feel bad that I'm not as eloquent or that I don’t have complete thoughts but I think thats because so much regular shit that’s not glittery takes up space in my brain. I think about the regular shit and so I want to write about regular shit but I feel like its hard because regular shit is not glittery, but this is difficult because a lot of people make the regular shit glittery and I don’t know how they do it. some days all I think about are really old-fashioned regular shit and words that maybe if I knew my grandpa, he would say. like, “I had a day filled with splendor.” In this case my grandpa looks like cary grant even though cary grant was white and my grandpa was Black. a lot of old people weren’t in my life when I was younger so I had to seek them out in films and I always remember cary grant and Gregory peck because they are old people actors that my grandpa probably watched at a theater once. I use the word splendor and have some really non-splendorous ass days, and I think my grandpa did have splendorous ass days. but. my grandpa was a bit of an abrasive man, I’ve heard, actually. He’d hate to use the word splendor in any sense, most likely, and he hated wasting time so he probably never saw cary grant in a film. he probably thought movies were a waste of time. he’d probably wring my neck if he knew how long I spend my days staring at a screen (even for school). he’d probably press me to build something, or sell something, but I'm terrible with my hands and I'm a terrible liar.
what’s the sound measurement? I know when it’s made, that it’s decibels, but what is the measurement of sound when it’s heard? is it the same? I feel like If it is then it shouldn’t be. when someone screams, like if I scream, I feel differently than the person who heard it. I want to feel like the person who hears my screams but It is always muted, muffled, m... I can’t think of another ‘m’ word so the poetry will have to end here. poetry is pretty and it makes me feel very Somali, and I try to impress my mom with my ability to be alliterative in Somali but she isn’t very impressed, because she does me one better and goes on and on and I know that she will always win at alliterative phrases. I always forget words we use all the time to keep the alliterative phrase.
I talked to a toothless man yesterday. I was outside, waiting for my ride and the man was waiting for his ride and I was standing but then I pretended that I was tired and sat on the curb ten feet away from him. I knew he was toothless then, so I pointed my feet towards him and my body away from him so that he could know that I wouldn’t be afraid if he talked.
“I’m waiting for my ride,” he said, as if he was speaking to nobody. but I knew he was talking to me. I said, “me too.” and then I continued, because I wanted to keep trying, I wanted to have a conversation with this man with no teeth. as we talked I made observations, like how he had vitiligo on his face, and how he spoke very loudly with his hands. his hands move so much in place of the teeth that can’t, I thought. we talked. he loved Japanese food. he loves sticky rice. “it’s good that the weather is like this while we wait,” and “this mulch needs to be replaced,” and I smiled and then. I saw a Somali woman, and I said assalamu alaikum, and she responded accordingly. and she knew my family so she laughed at me when I said I was waiting for my ride, because it was so like my family that they’d make me wait out here. “you’re lucky the weather is nice,” she told me. the toothless man said the same thing, but he didn't know that she said the same thing as him. and the Somali woman didn’t know that either. only I knew. and me and the woman went back and forth in Somali and he saw a part of me that strangers don’t get to see. then he pointed to my hijab, and he was talking again, saying, “I don’t get why people don’t respect all the peoples.” and then, “I hate pork, I cannot stand it. it’s not supposed to be food,” and I knew he was trying to show me that he cared and that he knew, and he was sound, and I laughed because I told him that this was true, pork shouldn’t be eaten. and then he pointed to the building, and the cinderblocks, and then he told me that he loves to garden, and that the building was dilapidated and he showed me where he would fill the cracks with cement. I told him that I liked to mow the lawn but I wasn’t careful when I did it and there weren’t those nice even lines on the grass that professional lawnmowers and people with even eyes do, mine were curvy and circular and square and shapeless. I made amoebas in the ground, I told him. and he looked at me, and he said “it doesn’t matter. just as long as you mow it.” and then, “I like mowing the lawn too,” and then I understood why my mom is happy when I mow the lawn, because she’s given me a part of herself that does things because they don’t need to be perfect as long as you want to do it. she is stubborn, and I am stubborn, but the toothless man isn’t. and I imagined him kneeling down to garden. his low hanging stomach touching the dirt, the grass, and him digging up and churning and mixing and planting, and reaping what he has sown. and this was a person that I was talking with, and he was waving his arms at me wildly and I was happy because he was telling me something and my favorite things are told to me. when I waved goodbye to him and he told me that he was happy my ride came, I wished him well too. my brother asked me who he was and how I knew him and I said, “I don’t know, he’s the toothless man I was talking to.” and my brother said that was mean but it was just an observation. I strained my ears to hear this man, because he was toothless and I wasn’t, and a lot of people weren't, and I think toothless people talk to alot of teethed people but teethed people don’t talk to a lot of toothless people. the man had big eyes, and I feel like the shapes and the parts on his face had to be exaggerated and bigger and obvious because he couldn't make his mouth obvious. his smile was nothing, it was dark. but I knew it was a smile. because I looked at him, and it was a conversation I probably wouldn’t have had with someone I know. and it wasn’t a conversation I would have with a regular stranger, either. but my brother said the fact that I said he was toothless was mean, and when I responded that I was merely observing, he didn’t respond. but I think about my mom and my dad, and maybe other toothless people, and they’d see and say the same thing. it’d be mean and disrespectful and unthinkable of me to ask the toothless man, “how did you lose all your teeth?” because that’s none of my business. but one thing I wasn’t going to do was pretend like I didn’t see the darkness in his mouth and his pink tongue swirling around his mouth, working hard to give him the words that his teeth could not.
I'm scared of always showing up and sharing this, and talking to you and nobody at the same time? and sometimes I write things on the wall of my bedroom or is it behind my eyelids? or on the top of my eyelids. when I close my eyes I read the words and when I open my eyes I forget what I've read. I try to save the reading in my head to say now but I forget all the time. the future isn’t now to me, only now is now, and so I can’t imagine what I would look like as a 26 year old because I am only 22 years old but I know that my 22 now and my 22 later will be mismatched. the time is a marker, the feelings are now, the feelings are everything. I wish I was a different person, like a person who has unique feelings and a person who wasn't like everyone else but I’m like everyone else. everyone is like everyone, everything is everything, I know who I am and I don’t, and I know it’s crazy, that I insist on talking about nothing for absolutely nobody. and so, then, we all really care about telling each other things that we already know.
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So, now that my finals are officially over, I am going to proceed to have a drink or two or three and rewatch Eclipse. Here’s (soberly) what I remembered from the film prior to starting this account (since starting this account, posts re:Eclipse have reminded me of things I’m not going to include in this introduction):
1. Bella is basically playing tic-tac-toe with Edward and Jacob and her feelings for them. She can’t make up her mind. When I watched it the first time, my dad was in the living room half paying attention to it and said she was very selfish.
2. Edward tries to control Bella, but it’s “out of genuine concern for her”.
3. Jacob tries to control Bella, but it’s “out of genuine concern for her”.
4. Both fight for her affection and even though she’s engaged to Edward, she won’t let go of Jacob.
5. When the newborn army shows up, Bella cuts her arm with a rock.
6. There’s awkward tension in the tent.
That’s literally all I remember of the movie while sober (aside from what I have relearned from posts about Eclipse on this blog). My drunken thoughts will be below the break:
Okay, so this dude I think his name is Riley is lowkey kinda dumb, no offense. Like he just stood there and screamed “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?” This is how all horror movies end badly. You don’t talk back. You run or hide or esape.
THE MEADOW IS SO FUCKING PRETTY. IT’S THE PUREST THING WE HAVE IN THIS FANDOM OMG HE’S PLAYING WITH EHR HAIR AND I JUST WANT SOMEOEN TO PLAY WITH MY HAIR. DAMN BELLA, MY FINALS ARE OVER. SUCKS TO SUCK, DOESN’T IT?
I never noticed the CUllen cuff before, but now thanks to this blog it’s all I’m looking @ lmao.
I FCKING LOVE CHARLIE TOO MUCH AND HE DESERVED BETTER THIS WHOLE TIME. HE IS SUCH A GOOD FATHER AND HE DESERVES THE BEST.
THERE’S A GLOWING RED LIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW WTF I THINK IT’S THE REFLECTION OF A CAR LIGHT BUT I FUCKING SWEAR
NVM ITS GONE
WHAT THE FUCK EDWARD?? YOU MESSED WITH BELLA’S TRUCK SO SHE COULDN’T SEE HER FRIEND? FUCK. I WOULD’VE DUMPED YOU AND LEFT YOU IN THE WOODS BRO.
Edward sitting with Bella’s friends. We can’t help but stan. He’s still a bitch for the truck thing though.
I love how Alice looks @ Edward and tells him the party will be fun because she knows nothing bad will happen. But then he reads her mind and looks conerned wtf is ognna happen?
Side note: I really like the lighting in this movie. Everyone has a healthly glow. They lokk happy.
The fucking Volturi always gotta ruin everything. Bitch ass hoes. Ol’ crusty asses acting like some outdated monarchy. Why don’t the vamprires start a democratic government?
Charlie really deserved better. Like I know they couldn’t tell him teh truth but they could’ve been slightly less untruthful prbabl.
I WANNA FIND SOMEONE WHERE MY MOM SAYS WE’RE LIKE MAGNETS WITH EACH OTHER. I WANT SOMEONE TO LOOK @ ME LIKE I’M THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE. DAMNIT EDWARD. DAMNIT STEPHENDW.
Y’ALL ARE TELLING ME THE ENTIRE CULELN CLAM COMBINED COULDN’T TKAE OUT VICTORIA? THIS SHIT IS GETTING UNREALISTIC LMAO.
THE MUSIC THAT STARTS PLAYING WHEN JAKE TURNS AROUND IN THE PARKING LOT SENT ME LMAOOOOO.
Leah is such a badass and I wnat to be best friends with ehr plase.
ALSO FCK THIE IMPRINTING STORYLINE.
SAM AND LEAH WERE HAPPY TOGETHER.
NO BELLA YOU DON’T FUCKING WANNA KNOW WHAT IMPRINTING IS. NONE OF US WANTD WTO KNWO. IT NEVER SHOULDVE BEEN WRITTEN.
Taylor and Kristen are such babies in this movie. They’re so young and precious. WHIH REMINDS ME WHY TF DID SPTHEJNFNWFNA MAKE THIS SEIRESO ABOUT CHIDLREN??!?! I STILL SAY IF THE CHARACTERS HAS BEWNNF MORE MATUEE AND IN LIKE THEIR MID OR LATE TWNETIEMS OR THIRTIS IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER. FIUCKUNG FIGHT ME.
INITING BELLA TO HEAR THE TRIBE’S HISTORIES? THE CULTURAL APPROPRIATION FUCK STEPHEN0AWFJQ. BITCHJ.
SETH IS SO PRECIOUS. AGAIN. THEY’RE ALL SUCH BABIES. THESE POOR CHILDREN.
this hwoel shite is sof ukcing offensie. bitch. listen. why tf did stpehwb fafb have to appropriate cultues like this? BITCH>> you do realize if the legnds are actually like this they’rel ike that because it’s aout defeating yo white as sright? like your’e aware stpehebe ?
omg bree is so scare d poor baby. literally why did stephenjdbawfbi do this? she just wnated to be ok not hurt anywaon.
exuce me vut CARLISLE IS HOT AS FUCK BITCH
edward is saying some real romantic shit and i sill hate him for the turck thing but like he loves her so much btu he’s stil an asshoel in this smovie
I’M ABOUT TO HATE JACOB I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES I’VE SEEN THE GIFS HOE WE GONNA GIGHT. BITCH SHE JUST TOLD YOU SHE DOESN’T LIKE YOU DON’T PUSH HER LIKE THIS. DUMBAS S HOE BITCH. YOU’RE GONNA FIGHT FOR HER? I’M GONNA FUCKIN FIGHT YOU BTCH. I WISH SHE WAS ALREAYD A VAMPIRE SO RTHAT PUNCH WOULDA HURT BITCH YOU DESERVED IT.
THESE FUCKWITS ARE FIGHTING OVER HER AND NOT LISTNEING TO HER THEY ARE BOTCH CANCELLED. BELLA NEEDS TO LEAVE BOTH THESE HOES AND GET A NEW MAN WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS HOW TO LISTNE. BITCHES.
I love Emmett so much. BELLA SHOULD FINA A MAN LIKE HIM. IT’S WHAT SHE DESERVES.
ROSALIE IS ABOUT TO POP TF OFF. SHE IS A QUEEN AND I LVOE AND SUPPORT HER. the saddest thing about this is that she thought her life was perfect and then some fucking asshoes ruiend it. she was so happy. wtf im gonna cry. fuck. i hate sptehej n so much. these gross ass hoes i’m gonna cik all theyre assses. this is so gross i’m so angry literaluy setthing beithc. BUT THEN SHE GETS HER REVENGE AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL. FUCK THOSE BASTARS. but she;s so sad it breaks my heart. she wants to be human so bad. this scene is so sad and it’s theonly good scene in twilight and nikki reed deserves an ocsa like if you agree.
jane and alec more childrne who should’ve been able to be children fck the volturie
why the hel is jessica the fucking valedinact ion? it should’ve been bella they made her seem so damn smart but now she’s not theo ne? i don’ beliee it. but anna kendrick is a gift and now i wanna watch ptiche perfect. CHARLIE is so pure he deserved better and i’m gona kep saying it.
i love those fucking rose colored lamps hanging at the cullens house int he window at hte party scene can anyone link them to me i need?
why the hell is the wolfpack athe cullesn hosue? this doesnt make sense and it doesn’t seem real am i too drunk and imabginf this?
jno wait it’s real. jake’s appolgoizng.
how fucking conventinet the woflpakc is there hwen alice realizes there abotu to be attacked. this aint realistc. bitc.
why are these kids being forces to act like audls? “I wans;t asking for permission” hoe you’re like 16 go home and go tib ed and odnt go to war.
these woflies gonan kick yo ass edward get tf out
i’m laughign nrow but nothigng funy is happening lmaoooo
fck carlisle is really hot as fuck his jawline kills me
i hate jasper’s hair here i’m sorry i know we all lovehim bt heis hair is a dam nmess
belal is so fuckign negative all the time no one is gonan get killed exceptsvictoris
THE COWBOOIIIII WHY DOES HE LOOKS LIKE OWNE WILSON IN THIS DAMN LIGHTIN? ALICE AND JASPER LOVE EACH TOHER SO MUCH MY APLOGIZKE MAAM FCK IT UP.
why thfe fuck is hake comparing his situaton with leah and sam and emily? We are nto the same hoe wae are not the same. bella is choosing edward sit yo ass down. but i still thin kyall are both problemastic as fuck in thos movie and hse deserves better.
CHARLIES DESEVRS BTETER THEY KEEP LYIGN EVEN WHEN THEY DUCKGN DONT NEED TO
reblog if you thought edward and bella wre gona fuc, when she went over to his house in eclipse when yo ufirst read the book or saw the movue
he really oes love her a lot though fkcn i’m so alone
he looks si sad wgen he mentind ices tea on the porch poor edward
EVERY DANM MOMENR OF FOREVER BITCG I WANT LOVE LIK THST
LITERALLY THIS IS THE SUTPEIDEST PLOT EVER. A WHOLE FUCKIN ARMY TOO ATTACK ONE IGRL? BITCH. THIS AINT EVEM A THING.
im gettign ral tired yall dik if i waill mke it to the end of this movie but i will tru
i hate the enrgey from jae and efard in this tent. ya’ll are both dumb hoes and she could do better than either ofy ou.
WRHAT THE FUCK FASTER IF YOUR TOOK YORU CLOTHS OFF BITCH WHAT THE FUCK NOW I AM GONNA FUCKIN PUNCH YOU IB HOEP BELLA OUBCHES YOU WHEN SHES A VMAPRIE STUPID HOE 16 YEAR OLD SHOULD BE AT HOME IN BED INSTEAD OF IN A TENT TRYING TO FIGH A FCUKCN WAR
edward is such an emo boi in the tent and he thinsk she doesn;t lve him any more. yo ua stipiud hoe edearf but she still loves you anwyab ithc.
wheb edward said i’m not gonna force her into naythign ever agin i realized he was hte better man good for you eddie you fickun manned up you win
MY REASON FOR ESXITNST HOE I JST WNAT TO BE LOVED
now edwards bene a fuckboi again trying to hurt jake b ymaking sure he knew they were getting maried edward what the fuck iw was just starting to be on your side agian and you let me down like this
jacob is beign an emo boi now jake go be a child @ home and stop this nonsense you’re not a man go be a chid and take a nap and eat some grilled cheese youkk feel better
now she told him she wants to kiss him wtf bella don’t kead this bitch on he’s already in pain let hom gp home and eat a grilled cheese
mow bella’ supsetti spaghetti because edwards know she kissed jake
this shit is so unenecasialr dramtic wht the fuck yall like a whole army ofver one girl and then its like all everyboyd trying kill everybody this is bulshittheyre all children who should eb at home eating grileld chesses not at war
victoria is a real bitch lying to this boy telling hin she lvoes him hoe bitch
og shit efward ifs pissed now he’s tauntign ab ithc
i acutaly kinda fel bad for riley he wnet through so mcuh and was manipulated i wish the cullens could have adopted him and bree
oshit is the volutire
SAM DONT FUCKUGN TALK TO LEAH LIKE THAT EVER AGIAN YOU HOE
CARLISE AND I REPEAT AGAIB IS HOT AS FUCK FUCK CARLISRL
I LITERALLY AHTE THE VOLTURIE FOR KILLIGN VREE THEY WILL NEVER BE FORGIVEN
JASPER KNOWS WHATS GOOD HE DOESN’T TURST THESE HOES
I’M SO PISEED THAT THE CULLENS NEVER FUCKING IFHT THE VOLTURIE LIKE CARLISLES IS SMART AS FUCK AND EHS TILL WONT START A DEMOCRAY LIKE YALL KNOW ROSLAIE WOULDVE FOGUHT FOR THAT SHIT TOO
I LVOE YOUDADY CARLISLE
THIS 16 YEAR OLD LYING UP HERE BECAUSE OF TE DUMBASS WAR I TOLD YALL TO GO GOEN AND EA A GRILELD CHEDWE
poor jakie he knows hed better good for her but she reallys loves eward jake deserved better than what he got reblog is youf agree he jst said he’s even love her after she’s a vamprie bruh go eat a grilled chease and love yourself
WERE BACK IN THE FUCKING MEADOW ITS LIT AND ITS LOVELY I WANNA FALL IN LOVE IN A MEADOW WITH A HANDAOME MYSTERIOUS MAN WHO LOVES ME UNCODNITONATLY
KIRSTNE STEQARD IS THE WBEST AND SHE DESERVED AN OSCAR FOR THIS MOVIE HER AND NIKKI REED AND NODBOYD ELSE
fianlly this bitch is gonna beh onest with chalrie took you long enough
that was an anticlamtnc ending but i love love
#Twilight#Twilight renaissance#drunk twilight#drunken twilight#twilight while drunk#twilight review#eclipse#eclipse review#eclipse while drunk#drunken eclipse#simp ass hoes fandom#simp ass hoes
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Set up a go fund me account right now okay. If you feel nervous about having to use other people's money, DON'T BE ALRIGHT! Being able to have shelter is more important than worrying about people trying to help you. Just please please please for the love of god get someone to help you. You don't deserve to be in a toxic environment. Stay at a friend's house if you can, or even just someone you trust will most likely let you stay at their place. Just be safe, and try to find help.
Hi, Anon from earlier. If push comes to shove, live out of your car. It is basically a house on wheels. Make sure to bring non perishables, like soup or trail mix for example. But if that isn't an option, find a random place in the woods and set up camp. Just make sure to bring all of your warmest items with you because DANG IT GETS COLD IN THE WINTER. Also save your money a ton, only use that crap to buy things that are absolutely necessary. 1/22/2 If you need to charge any devices just find a library or some place that lets you charge your crap up. Also try to find any kind of work. This can be anything. Being paid to mow lawns is an easy job if you need help with coming up with things. And if you save your money up over time you can eventually have enough cash to get a place to live in. That is pretty much all I can brainstorm for you right now, but I hope this helps. I bid you good luck and my best of wishes.
thank u so much for the sentiment, but its rlly rlly not that easy. i wish it was but it isn’t.i can’t live with any of my friends, and the only friends that ever offered me a place to stay are very very far away. i dont have a car to live in because im only 18. i can hardly work because im disabled, and canadas unemployment rate is 6.6% as of may 2017, which is significantly higher than america’s (4.7). it is increasingly hard to get any work here. i can work as a maid for the rich folk here but i’ll most likely end up being mistreated, and underpaid.
my social workers are apathetic. kids like me, on the youth agreement program, are put into the ICU every day (only in BC 4000 kids have died or were severely injured within 12 months on this ‘protective’ program) because the government doesn’t care about us. as long as they get their paycheck they don’t care if we die. the fact that i’m homeless, suicidal, and too disabled to work doesn’t matter to them. they legit dont Care.
it sucks that im moving back in with my mom. but the rent will only be $500, i’ll be living in new westminster which is a nice area, and she is helping with my transition. im just really really scared she’ll start abusing me again. which is weird . im a fully grown adult. i was a fully grown adult since i was 16, i had to be, had to grow up Way Too Fast. but life sucks and then you die.
im not moving out until i am 19 and am kicked off the program since i’ll be legally an adult. so i got a few more months. i just have to keep my chin up, drink a fuck ton of booze, and keep truckin on because holy Shit my life is hell.
once i age out of the youth agreement program i’ll be going to the press about this. it wont change much but it’ll at least warn other kids who are going on the youth agreement program that its not good, that they will most likely die or be sent to the hospital, or will end up homeless.
i am full of so much hate but at least its directed toward the people that deserve it. the government said they would take me out of the abusive household only to fuck me up and send me back into said abusive household.
im so angry and i am so tired broh
that got off topic im sorry. i just needed to get that off my chest, my therapist is ghosting me ever since i asked her if i could switch to a new therapist so i haven’t been talking about emotions too much lately. thank u for the nice messages anon
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✩
The Ultimate Relationship Tag
Send ‘✩’ for the following:
Under the cut because it’s long as hell
Disagreements:
Who is more likely to raise their voice? Jason, though Tim is certainly close behind himWho threatens to leave but never actually does? Probably Tim tbh, I feel like Jason would be too scared to actually threaten that. He would just be like ‘lmao im a piece of shit why you with me?’Who actually keeps their word and leaves?TimWho trashes the house? Tim, he’s such a messy person but claims that he ‘knows where everything is’Do either of them get physical? Jason probably has without really thinking about itHow often do they argue/disagree? Fairly oftenWho is the first to apologise? Both are pretty good about that unless its a bad fight then I feel like Tim would
Sex:
Who is on top? Usually Jason but Tim likes to spice it up now and againWho is on the bottom? Usually TimWho has the strangest desires? I feel like Tim has asked Jason to do some weird thingsAny kinks? BDSM probablyWho’s dominant in bed? JasonIs head ever in the equation? Of courseIf so, who is better at performing it? JasonEver had sex in public? YesWho moans the most? TimWho leaves the most marks? Both mark eachother up so muchWho screams the loudest? T I MWho is the more experienced of the two? JasonDo they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? Both, fucking is more likely thoughRough or soft? Rough but soft does happen on occasionHow long do they usually last? From foreplay to coming is probably like an hour or so maybe longer or shorter depending on the circumstancesIs protection used? Tim prefers to because he hates the feeling of cum but it’s not always used esp if its really spontaneousDoes it ever get boring? No, they keep it interestingWhere is the strangest place they’d have sex? Wayne Enterprises roof
Family:
Do your muses plan on having children/or have children? I think they’d be too scared to have children and bring kids into their life styleIf so, how many children do your muses want/have? If they did, probably just oneWho is the favorite parent? Jason is probablyWho is the authoritative parent? TimWho is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? Tim, Jason thinks school is very importantWho lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? Both without the other knowing lmaoWho turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? Both of themWho goes to parent teacher interviews? BothWho changes the diapers? Tim hates doing it and makes Jason do itWho gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? In turn, Jason makes Tim do this (plus Tim is usually awake anyways)Who spends the most time with the children? Both spend as much time as they can esp Tim because he doesn’t want his kid(s) to grow up without the connection like he didWho packs their lunch boxes? Jason tries, Tim micromanagesWho gives their children ‘the talk’? TimWho cleans up after the kids? JasonWho worries the most? B O T HWho are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? Jason
Affection:
Who likes to cuddle? BothWho is the little spoon? It switches but Tim likes to be the big spoonWho gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? They’ve both bad for thatWho struggles to keep their hands to themselves? JasonHow long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? Till an arm falls asleep or necks start cramping even then, they don’t always say anythingWho gives the most kisses? Jason is suuper affectionateWhat is their favourite non-sexual activity? Watching tv together or readingWhere is their favourite place to cuddle? In bed or on the couchWho is more likely to playfully grope the other? TimHow often do they get time to themselves? Fairly often, esp because work schedules don’t always match up
Sleeping:
Who snores? Tim but if you ask him, he denies itIf both do, who snores the loudest? Tim but he doesn’t snore very loudlyDo they share a bed or sleep separately? ShareIf they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? Starts up close together then drifts apartWho talks in their sleep? JasonWhat do they wear to bed? Underwear or nothingAre either of your muses insomniacs? Both of themCan sleeping pills be found by the bedside? Tim has a prescription but he doesn’t take them oftenDo they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? Pretzel it up bitchesWho wakes up with bed hair? BothWho wakes up first? Jason, Tim sleeps in so long if you let himWho prepares breakfast in bed for the other? Tim can’t cook well so JasonWhat is their favourite sleeping position? Tim likes to curl himself around Jason or when hes cold he likes to curl up into Jason’s sideWho hogs the sheets? JasonDo they set an alarm each night? NoCan a television be found in their bedroom? YesWho has nightmares? BothWho has ridiculous dreams? TimWho sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? JasonWho makes the bed? JasonWhat time is bed time? Past midnight is the only consistent thing Any routines/rituals before bed? Good night head kissesWho’s the grumpiest when they wake up? Tim dear god, he’s not even grumpy, he’s just a fucking mess
Work:
Who is the busiest? Both, Tim is a workaholic thoughWho rakes in the highest income? JasonAre any of your muses unemployed? NoWho takes the most sick days? Both are the kind to work even while sickWho is more likely to turn up late to work? Jason to piss of BatmanWho sucks up to their boss? TimWhat are their jobs? VigilantesWho stresses the most? BothDo your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? It has its pros and consAre your muses financially stable? Yes
Home:
Who does the washing? TimWho takes out the trash? JasonWho does the ironing? JasonWho does the cooking? JasonWho is more likely to burn the house down just trying? TimWho is messier? TimWho leaves the toilet roll empty? NeitherWho leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? TimWho forgets to flush the toilet? NeitherWho is the prankster around the house? JasonWho loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? TimWho mows the lawn? They don’t have a lawnWho answers the telephone? TimWho does the vacuuming? JasonWho does the groceries? JasonWho takes the longest to shower? TimWho spends the most time in the bathroom? Both
Miscellaneous:
Is money a problem? NoHow many cars do they own? One car and they both have motorcyclesDo they own their home or do they rent? OwnDo they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? CoastDo they live in the city or in the country? CityDo they enjoy their surroundings? YesWhat’s their song? Creep (that reminds me of them but tbh them dancing and signing to Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins)What do they do when they’re away from each other? Work and worryWhere did they first meet? Somewhere in GothamHow did they first meet? Jason tired to kill TimWho spends the most money when out shopping? BothWho’s more likely to flash their assets? TimWho finds it amusing when the other trips over? BothAny mental issues? HAHAHWho’s terrified of bugs? NeitherWho kills the spiders around the house? BothTheir favourite place? A small restaurant down the street from their placeWho pays the bills? BothDo they have any fears for their future? A lot and they all have to do with deathWho’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? TimWho uses up all of the hot water? TimWho’s the tallest? JasonWho’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? JasonWho wanders around in their underwear? TimWho sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? J A S O NWhat do they tease each other about? Jason teases Tim about his height and Tim teases Jason about is helmet tbhWho is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? Tim @ Jason tbhDo they have mutual friends? Sort of?Who crushed first? TImAny alcohol or substance related problems? HAHAWho is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? JasonWho swears the most? Jason
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Sheer lick attack - 23
Deaky:*packing his bags* I’m so excited for Japan!
Claire: me to! I bet Laura will love it!
Deaky: talking about Laura, when do you think she would start to talk?
Claire: I think she would start talking soon, so we need to watch out whit what we say
Deaky: yeah! I euhm... I think we should potty train Roger, we can’t put him in diapers for the rest of his life
Claire: you’re right, maybe we should wait until after the tour
Deaky: yeah that should be great
Roger:*from his room* mowm! I diwd sowmethiwng fow youw so you downt neewd to dow iwt whiwt thew bawby.
Claire:*goes to his room* really? *enters his room*
Roger: I pawced mwy own bawgs!
Rogers bags: pacifiers, pacifiers, drumsticks, stuffed animals, blankets, more pacifiers
Claire: are there clothes in there
Roger: thewes now mowe woom i thiwnk
Claire: *sits down on a chair and puts Roger on her lap* you did a great job! *gives him a kiss*
Roger: thawnk youw!
Claire: *knowing she packed all of their clothes in a separate bag* you did amazing whit helping mom, now mom doesn’t need to do anything!
Roger: weally?!
Claire: yes! You did awesome!
Claire:*takes Some pyjama’s for him while holding him* are you excited for tomorow?
Roger: yews!
Claire: this’ll be the first time we are traveling by plain!
Roger: iwm weally wookiwng fowawd tow iwt
Claire:*puts Roger in his pyjama’s* there’s my handsome man!
Deaky: *sticks his head trough the door while holding Laura* I heard my name?
Roger: dawd, iwts mwy tuwn tow wove mowm!
Claire: *gives Roger alot you of hugs and kisses* it is!
Deaky: you win for now *laughs and gives Roger a kiss*
Claire: okay, bed time!
Claire and deaky: *put them in bed*
*the next day*
*the alarm goes of at like 4 am*
Deaky: *wakes up really tired*
Claire:*yawns* come on we gotta get to the airport on time
Deaky:*yawns* okay... I’ll get Roger, you get Laura *puts on his clothes*
Claire: okay *puts on her clothes to*
Deaky:*enters Roger and Lauras room* good... midnight
Roger: iwm tow tiwerd!
Deaky: you can sleep on the way there and there, I’ll just put on your clothes
Roger: okawy
Deaky: *puts Roger in his clothes* there we go, on the plain you won’t be able to eat that much so we have to eat a lot now
Roger: okay
Claire:*comes in* *picks up Laura and puts her in her clothes she got from Freddie* you’re such a beautiful baby Laura!
They ate breakfast, met up whit Brian, SJ and Freddie. Went to the airport, checked in, ran from some fans, and then boarded. Deaky, Claire, Roger and Laura are both on the same row. Then they started to fly
Roger: *holding deaky’s hand* iwm scawed *starting to cry*
Deaky: its going to be okay, don’t worry, me and mom are going to protect you
Laura: *softly crying*
Claire: it’s okay Laura
Roger: *holds Laura’s hand* iwts owkayw wauwa
Laura:*stops crying*
The rest of the flight went great, Roger and Laura managed to sleep a bit which is always great. Then , they’re in Japan!
Deaky: we’re here! We’re in Japan
Claire: *picks up Laura* we’re here!
Laura:*smiles*
Roger: yewy! Iwm sow ewciwted fow thew touw!
Brian: *gives SJ a kiss* the flight went great right?
SJ: as long as I’m whit you, it’s great
Deaky: bri, do you think there’s gonna be a lot of people there?
Brian: Im sure there will!
Deaky:*getting nervous* sh- euhm... oh no
Deaky:*holding Roger close to him* stay close to dad okay?
Roger:*hugging him* okay
Oh and btw, they’re wearing matching shirts, deakys one is “dad”, Rogers one is “big brother” , Lauras one is “big sister” and Claires one is “mom” and on her stumache “baby”
Claire:*holding Laura close* there’s going to be a lot of people there, but mom will protect you
Then... they got of the plain.... oh boy what the FU- oh poop there’s kids here, what the FRICK was that!
Crowd: WHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Roger: HEWWOOOO!!!!
Crowd:*grabbing at Roger, Deaky, Laura and Claire*
Deaky:*to Claire* let’s move more to the middle!
Claire: okay *folows him*
Brian and SJ: *holding hands, saying hello to everyone*
They finaly get to the hotel, SJ is watching Laura and Roger Brian, Deaky, Claire and Freddie are togheter somewhere backstage at the venue. But deaky and Claire didn’t know they where there
Claire: i was really scared on the plain
Deaky: me to, at least you where there whit me
Claire: *kisses him*
Deaky: *again, goes all in whit the kiss*
Brian:*whispers to Freddie* they’re so cute togheter
Freddie:*whispers back* I know
Freddie: More tongue John!
Deaky: *stops kissing her* what are you doing here!
Freddie: we’re just hanging out
Deaky: you’re watching us like creeps!
Brian: come one Freddie let’s just g-
Freddie: it was just getting good! They’re where just gonna have sex!
Brian: Freddie! Claires pregnant! I highly doubt that!
Brian:*drags Freddie out* just go to your hotel room!
Deaky: so, where were we?
Claire: I think here *starts kissing him again*
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Virginia Beach Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23452
"Virginia Beach Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23452
Virginia Beach Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23452
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolution.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr
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Virginia Beach Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23452
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Burial insurance I need for future.
Question about medical insurance?
how can i find out whether or not my medical insurance is expired or not? i have medicaid and i was told i should receive a letter about the matter in the mail but i haven't yet.
Increase in car insurance after passing test? RIP OFF? changing insurance questions.?
i have just passed my test, and my insurance company (Quinn Direct) are trying to rip me off. When i had provisional license, my insurance was 1100 on a 1.1 saxo. which i thought was good 4 1st time driver. but now ive passed they are saying its going to increase to 2500, which surely is a load of rubbish? i did a few quotes with other companys and they are coming up around 1100-1500. if i cancel my insurance with Quinn (at a fee of 35) and join another insurance company, will i have to start over with my no claims? as i dont have a full year yet, my 1st no claim would be in march 09. please help? what should i do? i dont want to be ripped off but i also dont want to loose my half a year of no claims. Plus i also have 10 month acelerater insurance, which i paid a deposit up front, so i have 2 free months at the end of my insurance.""
Car Insurance Question?
I am buying my first car....a pre-owned 2008 nissan altima 3.5 sedan (4 door) I would love to know how much im looking into for insurance and which company would be best for a new car owner/college student Geico Progressive State Farm etc..... Any information would be beneficial
Settling with the insurance company?
My sister was fatily injured by a drunk driver in georgia.His insurance company has agreed to pay $25000 bodily injury liability and her insurance company will pay $25000 underinsured motorist for a total of $50,000.Should his insurance company medical pymts coverage pay anything like the funeral expenses.Also if her family agrees to this from the insurance company will that clear him of a civil suit""
How much would insurance cost on a 96 Chevrolet camaro?
Monthly? I spotted a camaro for the first time and it was completely gorgeous, I almost cried. it also runs good. The cost is pretty crazy for a camaro only 2,000. My mom said that I could not get it because the insurance is high I asked her how high and she said about 3,000 a month also I'm 16. I get the feeling she is wrong how much would you say insurance on a 96 camaro would cost?""
Best car insurance for 17 year old?!?
Hi, I have just passed my driving test. I am a 17 year old male living in a stable suburb. My mum owns a 2002 Mini Cooper and my dad has just ordered a new Audi A7. Obviously I cannot drive the Audi when it comes haha. I am looking to drive the Mini. What is the cheapest insurance company to be a NAMED DRIVER on my mum's car insurance. THIS IS NOT FRONTING. I will hardly drive, my mum uses the car most/all of the time. I have got very high quotes and the best yet is 2000 from Admiral. Any other suggestions please?""
How much does insurance for eighteen wheeler in California?
How much does insurance for eighteen wheeler in California?
Cheap car insurance for 7 star driver?
Cheap car insurance for 7 star driver?
Complete details of different insurances in USA?
Domain Knowledge of different types of Insurances of USA?
What's the best car for cheap car insurance?
I'm a male, and I'll be 25 next month. I haven't actually owned a car before, since I've been usually on my parents' insurance, and I just used theirs if I needed a car. I want to own my own car now though, and I want to know what the cheapest cars would be for car insurance. I live in Norfolk, VA, United States, if that helps. I don't have a blemish at all on my driving record, either.""
2003 Hummer H2 insurance cost? For 16 year old? 10 points!?
How much will the insurance cost for this car? This car is FREE for me because it's my dad's and he wants me to have it as my first car. It only has 60,000 miles on it for a almost 10 year old car. It is practically new with a tv inside and nice rims. How much will insurance be?""
Where do you get the material to study for state insurance test?
Where do you get the material to study for state insurance test?
How much will my car insurance be as a new driver?
I'm learning to drive as a necessity for a new job, but I am struggling to get a reliable estimate of the insurance premium I should expect once I have a car. I know that nobody will be able to give me a precise figure as it depends on so many variables, but I wondered if anyone would know what to put into a quote generator to get something accurate? I'm female, in the UK, 27 years old and will need a cheap and cheerful 5 door hatchback. Unfortunately I don't know enough about engine sizes and that sort of thing to know if I'm answering the questions on the form realistically. I tried compare the market and got a cheapest quote of 3,700 per annum - does this sound right? I know it will be expensive but even so that seems very high for a 1999 Vauxhall Corsa! (the car I used to get the quote). I do realise this is a very subjective question but any advice is greatly appreciated - at the moment it is looking like I won't be able to take up a dream job offer as all I will be doing is working to pay for a car that I oly got in order to take the job :(""
Virginia Beach Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23452
Virginia Beach Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23452
Fend off bullying car insurance suit?
i was involved in a car accident. i was at the wheel and the insurance company that insures the car has placed me at fault. i am not the owner, but claim that i had permission from the owner to use the car and therefore, under california law, should not be liable for the damages. the owner is fully insured. i tried to settle this by paying for the deductable. shortly after i submitted a check to the owner he changed his statement to his insurance company and claimed that he in fact hadnt given me permission to use the vehicle (I have a scanned copy of the check with clearing information from my bank). i am now being threatened by two insurance companies: 1) the insurer of the other party involved (this claim is on me, the owner, and his insurer) & 2) the insurer of the car i was driving. what are my options? how can i attempt to prove that he did give me the necessary explicit or implicit permission to use his automobile?""
How much would state farm car insurance charge for a 17 year old under my own name in connecticut?
i have a acura 3.0 cl... 2 door... and i was just wondering does anybody know how much i would be paying.. in anyway (monthly, yearly... but monthly is better)... so if you could help thanks... and dont tell me to look it up... im just asking.... and this kid has it under his own name... but i dont see him anymore so i cant ask him....""
""Where can l find low cost Dental care in Orange County,CA?""
I would like to find low cost dental care in O.C,but the one l find on the net is called Medical Discounts International,Inc, l don't believe it's a government program and l have my reservations. Is government programs better than private ones? Any agencies that are reliable and good? Thanks.""
Car insurance and the state you live in and registration?
I just moved from Richmond VA to Greensboro NC. My car insurance is in Richmond VA and and my car is registered up there. I'm only going to stay in North Carolina for about 8 months. I want to know if I can switch my car insurance to North Carolina with out having to register my car and switching my license plates over to North Carolina. Car insurance is a hell of alot high up in Richmond than here and I want to save some much needed money. Anyone know if I can make the insurance switch with out having to register my car and switching my tags over to North Carolina? Please respond with only legit answers.
Can i insure my car in england with a insurance co in bulgaria to save money?
ive heard that people in england are using insurance companies in bulgaria to insure there cars here at home as it is supposed to be a lot,lot cheaper? and if so does anyone know of these companys?""
Who s liable for car insurance in the state of MN?
Here's the deal...My bf took my car for the weekend out of town. While he was gone, someone hit my car in a parking lot and drove off....smashed my driver's side door in. It's a new car so I want it fixed ASAP. My thought is that his insurance should be covering it because he was in posession of my car...even if the person hit it and left. He is saying that my insurance should cover it....who is right? And why?""
Looking for the best prices in auto insurance and Quick!?
I know there are some reliable auto insurance companies out there with killer rates. Anyone know something good?
What is the best insurance for a 16 year old?
Got limited money
What's the cheapest insurance company or booker they've come across?
The cheapest iv encountered is onlyyoungdrivers.com the next being RAC insurance a few hours quid more, followed by 4youngdrivers.co.uk that is myself being under 25. Also has anyone found it cheaper to ring the direct in attempt to get cheaper quote, iv stayed away from this as of yet because of the cost of calling.""
Do i have to have a motorcycle license to get motocycle insurance?
Do i have to have a motorcycle license to get motocycle insurance?
Motorcycle Insurance..?? Who is really reasonable1st Time Rider?
I've search and request several quotes for motorcycle insurance from the more well know insurance companies, but there all estimate $200 to $215 per month.. and I have my ryders liences.. Does anybody have any suggestionsggesions for better deals. Somebody hit me up>> thanks""
Car Insurance Payout?
I have a car in Ireland, it was stolen the other night. But I am working in the US at the moment. My car is fully insured, but because it was left in the driveway of my girlfriend, will there be a problem getting a payout. It is worth about 5000 euros, how much should i expect to get??? Thanks!""
Health Insurance should be illegal?
Why not? Hospital fees would fall drastically! Funny how no body really knows what the hospitals charge... And funny how socialist countries are ranked above U.S. Oh yeah and I love how doctors in U.S. are pill salesmen.... Pathetic. Eliminate Health Insurance and guess what!!! Healthcare will be affordable! what you think?!
How much should i pay for old car insurance?
how much the cheapest insurance for old car? i have a used honda.
Will 'fail to stop at red light' for 1st time affect my GEICO insurance rate ?
I just switched to GEICO last week and unfortunately got a 'fail to stop red light' citation from SoCal DMV... they required me to pay 480$ for the ticket and 535$ + course fee for traffic school if I need one. I really don't want to pay for the traffic school but afraid it will affect my insurance rate later. currently I am paying 760$ every 6 months for full coverage on 2 mid-size cars. Could anyone give me some idea for this? PS: I had 4 years driving experience and kept clear record with allstate before getting this ticket...
Where do i get a cheap auto insurance company?
Where do i get a cheap auto insurance company?
""My father has been here in the usa for 25 years and has diabetes, obviously he cannot get insurance because he""
my father has been here in the usa for 25 years and has diabetes, obviously he cannot get insurance because he wasnt born here on usa but he has diabetes really bad and serious, does anyine know how i can help him get medicine? some type of program maybe? or how much does the top diabetes medicines cost? i would appreciate any kind of help.""
Can anybody tell me what impairment rating have to do with an auto settlement?
my lawyer tells me she cant make a demand to the insurance company till i get an impairment rating from my doctor. what does that mean and what is a good rating?
Insurance and a newborn??
I am so confused about how my baby (due july 7th..i know im really pushin it)... is going to have insurance right when he is born? I am covered on my moms insurance plan which covers her dependents. But it wont cover my dependents. When i call an insurance company and try to set it up to where the insurance will go into effect the day my son is born, the insurance says they dont do that and to call the day he is born to start the process but the process takes two weeks.. WHAT COVERS HIM THE FIRST 2 WEEKS???? please help =)""
Please help. Is it a must to get a car insurance in order to use and drive my car?
Hi guys, I wanna buy a car, but I wanna be sure if I have to get a car insurance in order to drive my car legally on the streets. Thanks XD""
How much would insurance cost for a 16 year old for a 2000 toyota corolla.?
I just got my g1 and I'm planning on buying a used car. Can someone tell me what car a beginner could start off with. But it must be cheap; budget around $1000-$3000. And if you can please tell me the price of the insurance.
What does new car replacement mean on car insurance?
I am buying a new car and thinking about taking new car replacement instead of gap insurance Thanks
How much is the average cost of premiums for E&O insurance for a CPA firm?
I'm wondering what would be an average estimated cost for e&o insurance costs for a CPA firm? the firm has more than 3 people and more than $400,000 in revenue""
Can someone help me with an insurance question?
new driver no insurance live in ca, 20yrs old, i am considering of buying kia rio my monthly car payment will be around $169. can u give me an estimate of how much my insurance will be.""
How much is car insurance for a 16 year old in canada/alberta?
plz tell the name of the company plz and ty
Virginia Beach Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23452
Virginia Beach Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23452
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/aaa-insurance-quote-phone-number-adam-douglas"
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