#so moody and so so much better than the album version love this shit thanks everyone

[dykehaus]

Chromatica first listen reactions

Chromatica 1 - Orchestral opening, very cinematic like she threw a Hans Zimmer wig in the ring here for apparently no reason other than to maybe suggest a video game/scifi movie opening? I’m getting opening credits to a Square Enix game circa 2005 so. I’m good with it.

Alice - MY NAME. ISN’T ALICE. Straight into the dance beats… yes god. Verses may be forgettable and the lyrics/conceit of the song isn’t that interesting but I’m really loving the chorus sound and the modulated voice in the bridge - Judas teas!! Other than the bridge, kinda filler? Remains to be seen on second listen.

Stupid Love - I didn’t love this when it leaked or was officially released. I almost let the dumb video sour the potential of it. Is it the greatest song here? No it’s just as dumb as its video. But it’s actually more enjoyable when you just accept that it’s dumb and don’t try to fight against it. It’s got some crisp BTW B-side sounding production and corniness to it and we can get behind that! After school special pop. Not sorry, I’ll listen to Stupid Love.

Rain on Me - Has gay sex in public while this plays. Someone meanwhile smokes a cigarette in a Brooklyn warehouse and sips a matcha cocktail. Next.

Free Woman - KNOCK OUT in my opinion. Like an upbeat So Happy I Could Die I would argue… Also might be one of the lezzier items on offer here. Which is among my priorities in listening to any Lady Gaga output. You really get the texture of her vocals here and Gaga’s voice is one of her real selling points. There are no girls who make this kind of music that have her intonation. Periodt. I’m a Free Wuhman!

Fun Tonight - Is this the ballad? It’s not a ballad. It’s a dance song. But it has Gypsy from ARTPOP vibes. The Gaga equivalent of a torch song. This is the song you put on when you’re having a little early 00s white girl in a romcom sad montage moment and there’s certainly a time and place for that! This is definitely about Christian and for that reason I wish it were angrier lmao. (Fuck him)

Chromatica II - More moody strings! I definitely get more of a video game feel from this than cinematic necessarily. Feels like an album version of a cut scene.

911 - Heavy bass! Chanting robot voice! Would’ve given myself a wettie through the car speakers with this if I were still driving on the regular. This vocal is of kin with Madonna’s on Madame X. The lyrics here are GARBAGE  but it might get the Heavy Metal Lover treatment where I’ll eventually love every bit of it.

Plastic Doll - This is Barbie Girl but played straight. Right now I don’t love that but given enough to drink I will think it’s transcendent art. She rhymed ‘saga’ and ‘gaga’! Someone will inevitably perform a genderqueer drag act to this.

Sour Candy - I don’t pretend to know actually anything about Kpop. Their presence here gives me unrelenting early 00s vibes. Is that a big reference point for Kpop groups? I have no idea. I think this one might have real commercial value considering the crossover event of it all. The production here is really just. fine. Capable. But I LOVE the Gaga vocal!! My favorite other than Free Woman thus far.

Enigma - She put some effort into the lyrics here! Thanks G! Killer, signature soaring Gaga chorus. The enigma thing is technically self promotion for her never-ending Vegas residency (which costs about a billion to attend). This has 70s disco sparkle to it and it’s really enjoyable.

Replay - (Shawty’s like a replay?). When the electro-hook kicks in here, I just want to get up and dance. This whole section of the album actually after Chromatica II (should we call it Act 2?) feels like it’s trying to ramp the energy back up after a dip. “Your monsters torture me!” Me looking up at my Fame Monster merchandise.

Chromatica III - OK like the cut scene before the final boss! My favorite of the three orchestral songs. Makes sense considering what’s to come in Sine From Above.

Sine From Above - FUCK. For me, the best song on the album on first listen. This has the most “narrative” and “build” as I would say in a reader’s report at work. Elton John actually brings even more gravitas to this. Let’s spell it out kids: W-I-G! Before there was love there was silence!!!

1000 Doves - It’s depressing me a bit how plaintive she is on this album. But somehow this song is still uptempo? Reminds me of the original version of Dope. But like, listenable. Much as we valorize ARTPOP was oddly prescient for its release year, there were legit duds on that album. Dope was one of them.

Babylon - You can serve it to me ancient city style! She said lemme ham it up real quick to finish this ditty off. The Lady Gaga equivalent of Liza Minnelli turns off a lamp. Gossip! Babble on! This is what I’ll put on to get dressed and, nostalgically, it gives me a little of Disco Heaven closing The Fame. This might start up shit with Madonna again like the good old days :)

OVERALL THOUGHTS: This is the most homogenous album she’s released since The Fame. It’s also one of the snappiest, smoothest listens as an album. Sometimes Gaga albums are better taken in bites... One of the upsides: that homogeneity makes it automatically more cohesive than say, Born This Way or even Joanne (cowboy crap aside). Do the complaints that she’s playing it safe hold water? Absolutely and that’s just as I expected. But this is the album she frankly needed to make at this stage. Just as Madonna needed to make Ray of Light when she did. After such massive and unexpected success basically under the guise of ANOTHER character (this one a basic girl in the Ally/SiB character), she needed to ease back into the Gaga machine.

BEST SONGS: Sine From Above, Free Woman, Enigma, Babylon

Anyway, I’m putting Sine From Above on repeat now!! 

EDIT AFTER 24 HOURS: best songs are enigma, 911, babylon, and rain on me. and i stick by really enjoying sine from above in all its 2012 edm hangover in ibiza-ness. alice is really a grower on several listens. fun tonight, 1000 doves, and stupid love round out the bottom for sure. 

[jlf23tumble]

1D Day: Hour Four

Over the past few years, I’ve seen people try to insinuate that Zayn wasn’t into 1D Day, that he was moody or distant or some other adjective that implies he was on his way out the door, and to those people I ask, did you actually watch any of this, especially hour four? I mean, seriously, watch Zayn over the course of the whole day, but hour four is a revelation if you’ve ever had that notion. He’s witty, charming, happy, smiley, completely on board with every stupid game, and so professional with the fans and the rest of the team that he makes Liam look like an asshole (and Liam is so very far from being an asshole, like, ever). 

In fact, both Zayn and Liam are naturals as hosts; they’re a dream broadcasting team, and for all the (justified, mind you) attitude Louis and (especially) Harry throw down as the day progresses, it’s the complete polar opposite with Ziam. I could watch hours and hours of these two because they manage to convey that fake on-air TV personality chirpiness with a sincerity that’s endlessly compelling. They’re also off-the-charts HOT on this here day (Louis, too, but Jesus CHRIST have mercy on us in hour four). Let’s break it down under the cut.

Hour four kicks off with Zayn and Liam skateboarding onto the set, and Liam is honestly me with his plaintive “I’m really rubbish at skateboarding” as he basically stands on a board that somebody literally pushed in a straight line into the shot.

Zayn’s all excited that this is his first hour (like, he’s literally pumped up for it, and some could argue that he’s as coked up as Harry appears to be, but he’s not as aggressive, he just seems legit happy to be there). Liam’s an old pro by now, and the general mood is positive and calm, in spite of the mega fuckups in hour three and the immediate in-ear issues they’re both already experiencing. Help, they're so hot:

The first segment is about invention ideas from fans, and joining them in the Google+ Hangout (lmaoooo) is Peter Jones (Liam: “a very rich man”) from Dragon’s Den, aka the UK’s Shark Tank, and for all of his cash and presumably all of the D’s, this feels VERY low rent. Way to sell this Google ad, team…maybe that’s why Google+ is a total failure, hmmmm, makes you think. Anyway, the first invention is a 1D Kube, and noah fence to this fan, I’ve made better merch, c’mon, people think outside the box:

Because Peter’s gross, he suggests using nude body parts of the boys instead of their faces, and me as Liam, completely creeped out by that suggestion. The next idea is a 1D pillow, where you go to sleep, and the pillow pipes two 1D songs directly into your brain before powering itself off, but Liam wisely says this might be more distracting than soothing. Peter’s right there with the idea that it should instead offer up soothing pillowtalk (Zayn, take notes!), which instantly worries both me and Liam because it’s weirdly sexi instead of sexy sexi.

The final invention is fart pants, which boils down to deodorized boxers for people like Niall who practically shit themselves when they fart in closed tour buses (paraphrasing). Naturally, Peter likes this idea a LOT, and asks Liam a low-key invasive question about someone stealing his underwear, which leads to a riveting tale of the missing pants and a nervous Liam asking Peter exactly how he knew about this incident. Peter laughs it off as something he found online to embarrass Liam with, but try harder, asshole…they answer worse questions than this before breakfast.

Next, we get Julian “I can’t bother to find out how to spell his last name,” one of the D’s cowriters, in a cringe VT about picking up girls with 1D lyrics. It’s so fucking gross that only Ben Winston could have come up with it, and it goes on FOREVER, even though nothing about it is interesting or cute or witty or anything other than tedious yikes for the women involved. Even Julian knows it’s creepy, and he seems like a guy who’s pretty comfortable with creepy.

We get back in the studio to some actually attractive people who have chemistry together, and, no, it’s not Julian and John “I can’t bother to find out how to spell his last name either” (they make sure to sit far enough apart to maintain their extreme masculinity):

Liam has some good interview questions for these two, such as, “What’s your favorite song that you wrote on for this album,” and John thinks he’s clever by saying it’s both “Little Black Dress” and “Little White Lies,” but the real gem here is the audio of Liam creating “Better Than Words” out of thin air. Look at this fondness while we all listen to Liam’s genius (it’s kind of embarrassing, this whole bit):

We move to fan selfies, and Liam does a terrible Irish accent to request potato selfies for Niall. Moving on to the call box of doom, the two Larries currently rocking out in there seem to dig “Strong” the best (as you do), and Zayn, valiantly battling someone in his ears, politely whispers, “You can crack on listening,” before shutting the door softly.

The VT of randomness from New Zealand prompts Liam to ask, “Zayn, what did you get up to in New Zealand?” (the answer is getting a snake tattoo that’s one of Liam’s favorites on him, in case you’re wondering). But before we can ponder any of that too closely, it’s time for opera singer Rebecca to return for the excruciating opera version of tweets.

Scott’s on the scene to point out the obvious, i.e., Ziam makes it all look so easy, but this next segment is not for the faint of heart. The boys have to blindfold each other (!!) and then feel up crew members to see if they can identify them. Whyyyyy is this so tender:

Someone else blindfolds Liam after he does Zayn (Liam, after it’s done: “Nobody touch me”), and there’s a brief moment where they can feel each other, and Zayn says, “That’s you, Liam,” and fuckkkk me up, wowwww, it’s a lot to take in:

 Anyway, they go on to feel up a lot of doughy white guys to see if they can blindly identify them, and AGAIN, it’s gross because Scott keeps encouraging them to feel this person up below the waist, too (note, they don’t know if it’s a guy or a girl). Fortunately, it’s a parade of doughy white guys until they get to Lou Teasdale, and Zayn identifies her immediately because she’s so fidgety.

We head over to another Google Hangout, and god, words cannot express how good Ziam is at this because even though the same shit happens here as it does in the last hour, these two handle it all like pros. I live for Zayn’s, “Have you been watching the whole show? Are we doing a good job?” with an intense amount of sincerity, and thank god these girls give him the thumbs up because they truly are.

My fave part of this segment is the girls who ask them what their first CD and concerts were. Liam says Linkin Park for CD and Gareth Gates for concert, which earns him boos from the homophobes in the studio, but warm hugs from me. Zayn, who answers this fan question to Liam instead of the girls who asked it, says he can’t remember his first CD, but his first gig was JLS with the boys, and wow, the first date realness here:

Zayn’s genuinely sweet throughout all of these fan segments, asking questions and being invested in the answers, dawwww. The last question is about where they get the inspiration for their dance moves, and Liam says he blags its, but Zayn is here to kill us all by saying, “My inspiration for dancing comes from you, Liam (Louis in the background: “hahahahaha”) because you’re such a good dancer,” and god, I’m not ready for this right now, tbh.

There’s a BSE VT from the fans before a bingo spin to figure out who to follow (again, just follow them all, what does it even matter at this point, ratcha fratcha). But the most annoying part of this bit is that even *I* can hear the in-air buzz of chatter from Ben’s team, so I cannot even imagine how annoying it is in actual ears, holy fuck.

Next up is a live link to Finland, to say hello to the fans who created a massive fanbook that Zayn carefully flips through and sincerely thanks everyone for creating. The VT he introduces next is Louis playing footie, and YES, look at this angel who’s only 22:

Naturally, there are LOADS of technical problems and fuckups, but it’s so refreshing to hear that “hahahahaha” in a massive, empty arena, and to see him practicing a sport he clearly loves.

We’re back with the poor bastards running the Guinness Book of World Records, this time with Liam’s ass smashing balloons (Zayn: “If he wins, do we get our names put down as well?”). The first time is a bust (ha) that ends up hurting Liam’s balls (how, I don’t know):

Everyone agrees they can do better, but Zayn’s not having any further fuckups as he literally coaches Sandy in the background about how best to hold the balloons so that Liam’s ass can smash them in the most efficient manner:

Sadly, it’s not enough to smash the record, much to everyone’s chagrin, but there’s no time to fret or redo, we're off to Stan teaching Zayn’s school to sing (ooops, the VT is incorrect, it’s Scott teaching the X Factor staff to sing “What Makes Your Beautiful,” and they’re the shittiest singers ever, so go off on judging people, I guess).

As per usual, the highlights are fucking horrific. Can’t wait for hour five!

[jangyeevns]

plot with me pt. 2

ok so listen up ! i’m being bombarded with inspo from my favourite songs at 3am — well, now 4am on the dot as of posting this — and. for the love of god, i need some chill people to cry over these four or five songs with before doing some cracked or angsty shit, sO ! ( again, sideblogs are over at @dimclos, @perihelicns and reintroducing @froshics for your own discretion and the first part — bc apparently these are gonna be a series now so be prepared to Block at any given moment if, or When, i start spamming y’all gjlsdf — is here )

i’m gonna say it again before diving in, miss hyunmi is itching to be used ! as is dayeong ! give me chaos for one and angst for the other, please and thanks

“ like slow disappearing ” — turnover: aka a fucking Beautiful track that chokes me up for whatever reason if i’m focusing on the lyrics too much, dk why. so it’s assumed that the song is about an acid trip, which. fucking makes sense, honestly. and i thought it’d be cool to do a lifelong best friends checking off their college to-do lists type of thing, where they’re just chilling at either a small gathering at someone’s house or by themselves and both take a hit; one hasn’t done it before and wants to Rebel by giving it a try with their best bud, but gets a little apprehensive before being coaxed into it. i’m more interested in what happens after, mostly bc a bitch wouldn’t know the exact ramifications of its effects and i’d rather not butcher it fgsdlkgfj but the (pre-)chorus always struck me as a realization of sorts, so maybe some romantic thoughts bloom from it for one or both of them, and we get underlying awkwardness, further attachment, messy antics bc they rarely — if ever — saw each other That way and they’re at a loss for how to go about it...... idfk sdfljdfl but i always get some kind of 90s vision in my head with that song for whatever reason, so think of it like some teen drama/movie from back then in how lax it’d develop and all that

“ 7 ” — catfish and the bottlemen: honestly, any catfish song deserves a plot to be based upon it, probably gonna add another later dsgfklgfdj but this would be good for my idol/actor muses or even some of my kids on dimclos. song’s about a long-distance, and at-present on the rocks, relationship involving a travelling rockstar, someone who’s overwhelmed by the occurrences in their life and kind of wants the world to stop so they can have some time to themselves. the love is there, but it’s just not working like they’d hoped and it’s a back and forth of ignoring the other’s calls to sever the tie just a little quicker, to wanting to hear their voice and hold onto the relationship for dear life. and connecting it to another song of theirs...

“ homesick ” — catfish and the bottlemen: the balcony is such a good album guys, goD. anyways, it serves as more clarification behind the strain; glimpses of jealousy and arguments because they don’t communicate and their professional lives push these things further — one works day to night by practicing and performing in front of a crowd and being almost too drained to meet or talk, the other likely has a 9-5 or a more friendly schedule and takes out their frustrations and own feelings of neglect by flirting with coworkers, customers, whoever. though it never goes beyond that. but they never divulge their hurt, so the other can’t begin to understand. at the end of the day, it was all initially thought to be smooth sailing and if anything, beneficial for both, because being on tour or overwhelmed by promotions means building the musician up to do better by their s/o on all fronts. but it ends up with them making one another feel unwanted and upset more than loved

“ patience ” — river tiber: basically a slow burn plot lfgdksjgfsd classic muse meets muse a party or a club, or somewhere supplying alcohol, and both take an interest — but one’s pretty much enamoured already. problem is, one that persists as time goes on, they don’t know how to act, thus they don’t breach the line of subtle interest just to save face for a Good while. it’s not in their usually confident character, it puts them off and it surely makes them look cowardly — meanwhile the other muse is thiS close to just acting on impulse to get the point across that they’re into Them, but they’re also confused as all hell by the mixed signals being sent their way. basically give me a disaster pairing that’s a lot cuter and aggravating in action than it sounds in the song ( bc he has a penchant for making everything minimalist and moody.. bless him but Please sgjlg )

“ ruthless ” — the marías: rich best pals separated by circumstance leads to years of not seeing each other and soon not speaking either. so come some gala where all their pompous mutuals friends have come together, they bump into each other as mid-twenties versions of themselves and catch up. maybe one had a crush on the other for some time before they lost touch, maybe they had a brief fling and buried its existence mentally for the sake of their friendship long ago, but Something resurfaces and. it just goes from there slgkdjgfd. if we’re being true to some aspects of the song, then one or both could’ve been arrogant and spoiled when they were younger, only for one to remain as such as time went on — only more independent. the other likely blossomed to be more charismatic and polite in comparison, though they still understand each other fairly well, almost as if they’ve hardly changed since time has passed them by. idk if this makes sense anymore gdsflgjdf but clueless seemed too much like the framework for 7 + homesick, and i Love the marias so

“ pressure ” — the 1975: having quietly dated since before one muse pursued a career in the entertainment industry, the two are slowly adjusting to the performer’s steady rise in popularity and what it means for them if — or rather when — their relationship goes public. the pressure mounts on both of them as they come to terms with these unspoken, impending expectations; the non-celebrity especially fears a shake in their humility alongside their awareness of the gaze of the public bound to be upon them, their privacy — and what remains of the performer’s — soon to be impeded upon. however, they can bask in the comfort of each other as they navigate the trials of being in a professionally mismatched relationship, and one for millions to observe as they please. so.. basically just a basic non-celeb/celeb relationship, but really showcasing the insecurities that can come with it, the overwhelming nature of being a nobody to one of the top searched names of the day, etc

[hoppkorv]

Band/artist - Crowded House Song - Lovely to See You by The Moody Blues Album - Gord's Gold by Gordon Lightfoot

Crowded House

If I know them:

Favourite Song: “It’s Only Natural”

Least Favourite Song: “Don’t Dream Its Over”

Favourite Album: Woodface

Least Favourite Album: the self-titled

Song that got me into them: ironically, “Don’t Dream It’s Over”

Seen Live?: nope

Rate: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

“Lovely to See You” by The Moody Blues

couldn’t finish it | not my thing | it’s fine | I could get into this | ooo I like | oh hell yeah | fuck this is some good shit | there aren’t even words, this transcends words

Gord's Gold by Gordon Lightfoot

Opinion on cover design: Good - It doesn’t creep me out like Endless Wire

Favourite song: I reeeaaally like this version of “Canadian Railroad Trilogy”. So much better than the original version

Least favourite song: I don’t care for this re-recorded version of “Wherefore & Why” even though the original is one of my all time favorites

Underrated track: “Steel Rail Blues”

Overrated track: “If You Could Read My Mind” but catch me listening to it every damn day

Rate: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10   Nothing but top marks for my favorite dude

This was fun, thanks for asking!!

[salavante]

Top 5 favorite band/songs?

I got double tapped for this so I’m gonna do a top 15. I love music and have eclectic tastes, and so I am going to talk a lot. I think I could be asked what my top 100 were and be able to fill it out (it might even be easier). I’m also going to put this under a readmore so it doesn’t stretch anyone’s dashboard. But, if you’re interested in my thoughts, or are looking for some tunes, give it a whirl. Using “I Say Fever” as a header of sorts. 

1. “Desperados Under the Eaves” by Warren Zevon. I first heard it after the end of my first campaign with Jake, and I associate it with Odwain a lot. There is something about it that makes me think of a great, yawning desert opening up in front of me, full of possibility. Someplace I can get lost in. My other favorite songs by Warren Zevon are “Lawyers Guns And Money”, “Veracruz”, “Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner” and “Tule’s Blues”. He would’ve been higher on my Artist ranking but the fact is I pretty much just listen to Excitable Boy over and over again.

2.“I Say Fever” by Ramona Falls. I like the rest of Ramona Falls’ musical catalog, but this one stands out as something really unique and special. It has a sort of ominous, melancholy atmosphere, but has a pulse-pounding, frantic chorus. Oh, and the music video is dope. 

3. A Coheed & Cambria song belongs here but it’s very difficult to choose one. I can easily say that they are my favorite band as a whole, and many of their songs are in my regular rotation, but I can’t think of one song specifically that I play over and over again over all the others. Good Apollo I’m A Burning Star IV: From Fear Through The Eyes of Madness is without much question my favorite album, but that’s because I find each song consistently good and that the album as a whole has a really rich, well paced atmosphere. I’m gonna pick more than one song to share a lot, and that’s just gonna be how it is.

“Random Reality Shift” is my favorite song that is acoustic. “In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3” and “The Crowing” are my favorites of their older material. The opening chords to In Keeping Secrets give me chills every time. “The Writing Writer” and “Once Upon Your Dead Body” are my favorite from Good Apollo. “Number City”, “Domino the Destitute”, “Ghost” and “Island” (music video is very entertaining) are my favorite of their newer stuff.

4.  “Harvest of Sorrow” / “Mirror Mirror” by Blind Guardian. It’s hard for me to choose my favorite Blind Guardian song, so I’m gonna do a slow one and a fast one. I was first acquainted with “Harvest of Sorrow” as “Mies de dolor”, the spanish version, which I ripped off some website in 2011. And for awhile it was the only Blind Guardian song I had other than Battlefield and The Maid and the Minstrel Knight, and I was only familiar with it in spanish. I went looking through their catalog years later and found it in English, and being able to put words that I could understand to the feeling of melancholy and powerful instrumentals felt like an epiphany. I devoured the rest of their music, which I immediately connected with, and haven’t looked back since. Mirror Mirror is just fast paced and pumping with a very screamable chorus, and also reminds me of Wybjorn. Makes me turn the volume all the way up every time. (my other favorite ones are “Prophecies”, “Twilight of the Gods”, “The Bard’s Song”, which is heartfelt and hopeful, and “Sacred Worlds”)

5. “Skin” by Oingo Boingo, which barely beats out “Just Another Day”, and also “Wild Sex (In The Working Class)” and “No Spill Blood”. Kind of a bummer but in a very cathartic way. A relatable sentiment on a few different levels (mental illness, dysphoria, etc). Sometimes you just need a song that makes you feel sad and introspective, and this is that song. 

6. “Input Source Select” by De Staat. GET YOUR FREAKS OUT, LET’S GO. A song for when you’re on the warpath. Reminds me of the feeling of burning, righteous anger because I had it on when I was powerwalking to go give a guy a piece of my mind. Other favorite songs by them are “Sweat Shop”, “Systematic Lover” and “Witch Doctor”.

7. “A Hazy Shade of Winter” by Simon & Garfunkel. I grew up with a lot of music by these guys, and supposedly Paul Simon’s Graceland album played at my parents’ wedding. But, this one is my favorite song by them. It has a sort of anxiety about impermanence that I gel with a LOT. Also, if I had to pick one song for Odwain, it’d be this one. The Bangles cover is pretty good too. I also like “The Boxer”, “Only Living Boy in New York”, “Cecilia”, “America”. My mom is also fond of “Punky’s Dilemma”, which makes me fond of it. 

8. “Storm Coming” Gnarls Barkley. I said this in a previous post but a lot of the Gnarls Barkley songs really resonate with me as a person who’s, well, got some mental illness problems. It very much reminds me of the frantic ‘up’ periods I go through where I feel like a force of nature. Something thrilling but also kind of unpredictable and overwhelming. (other picks are “ Run (I’m A Natural Disaster”, “Who’s Gonna Save My Soul”, “Open Book”, “Just A Thought”, “A Little Better”. “Charity Case” reminds me of a really specific time in my life and it just twists my heart like a rag). The album The Odd Couple is all fantastic.

9. “Ghosst(s)” by Lorn. Dark and moody with resonate, grinding orchestral instrumentals. And the music video is fucking amazing, I highly recommend it. In addition, “Weigh Me Down”, “Diamond”, “The Well”, “ Acid Rain” and “Anvil”.

10.  “Man” by Neko Case. I don’t really know what her intentions were with this song, I don’t really care. It makes my transmasc ass feel good and like I could knock the teeth outta a guy 10 times my size. And I mean I’ve done this with every other band so far, so, other songs I like are “Where Did I Leave That Fire”, “Furnace Room Lullaby”, “Prison Girls”, “Hold On, Hold On”, and “Atomic Number” And “Supermoon”, which she did with KD Lang and Laura Veirs.  

11. “Rabies” by Aesop Rock. Just such a menacing atmosphere to this song, with intense, snappy lyrics.  “It might’ve heard something in the walls / could’ve been voices / could’ve been claws / could’ve been the rebel yell of something more evolved”. Other picks - “TUFF”, “Kirby”, “Rings”, “None Shall Pass”, “Supercell”.

12. “The Shrine / An Argument” by The Fleet Foxes. Folksy, Good n long with a really amazing, swelling transition. Another incredible music video, which had art direction by Stacy Rozich, who is a wonderful illustrator. I like this band a lot in general, other good songs are “Mykonos”, “Grown Ocean”, “Blue Ridge Mountains” and “English House”.

13. “Mistadobalina” by Del The Funkee Homosapien. The Gorillaz were a gateway to me in regards to finding the rest of Del’s music. Mistadobalina remains my favorite, however, and is the catchiest shit in the world, though I also really like his Deltron 3030 stuff - “Mastermind” “3030” and “Time Keeps Slipping”.

14. “Squarehead” by Hello Seahorse. This song is very dear to me, as it reminds me of one of my most favorite people and the stuff we’ve made together. Other songs I like by them are “Tristes”, “Para Mi”, “El Artista” and “Can Let You Go”.

15. “Atomic Bomb” by William Onyeabor (both the Original and the Hot Chip Remix, they’re both good in different ways.) The remix is really smooth and bouncy, but the original is very mellow and has a lot of its own unique character. A lot of his songs are 6-7 minutes long, but have more instrumentals than vocals, making his voice feel precious. I also like “Fantastic Man”, “Body And Soul”, and the Heaven & Hell Remix of “Do You Want A Man”.Thank you for coming with me on this, a ~musical journey~. 

[angry-woman]

Perception (Part II)

I have never had an event in my life affect me as much as being on a reality TV show. And it wasn’t one of the shows where they pay you to go to Hawaii for 3 months to find A Shot At Love with Tila Tequila (speaking of perspective: Tila, you’re an immigrant, stop being a racist piece of shit and check yourself, girl). It was a singing competition. I never thought I would be the type of person who was capable of being on a reality show, basically because people can be really mean to other people, especially if they are on TV. Before social media, if you didn’t like someone on a reality show, you would just bitch about them to your family and friends and the participants of the show could carry on with their lives with nothing but their own self hatred to bring them down. Now, everyone is a goddamn keyboard warrior and feel like their opinions matter. Not to say they don’t, (as I’m writing an essay hoping people will give a shit about my opinions) but it’s difficult to know how many people think you suck without ever meeting you. The screen between you and the consequences of what you say grows as quickly and viciously as the YouTube comments section of a Justin Bieber music video. If you never have to meet someone, why feel bad about what you say to them? Maybe because that’s an actual person you’re talking to and even though you only know them through your television screen, they eat, shit, smoke, cry, and feel bad about themselves like everyone else when someone says “load up on guns and shoot this retard” (I did a cover of Nirvana’s ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ on the show).

The first time we spoke, the person in charge of my web presence told me, “If anyone says something that upsets you, let me know, because there’s a good chance it will happen”. I knew from the moment I accepted the invitation to audition that being on a reality show meant opening my life to a lot of people, something I try to avoid at all costs unless it’s my Mom who knows more about my bodily functions than she’d like, but I want to be a professional musician, so it felt like an opportunity that I would regret not taking.

I think one of the most important things to acknowledge about this experience is that the show is entirely French speaking, from the instructions given behind the scenes to the interactions with coaches and hosts on stage, and I am an anglophone from Ontario. I went for my pre-audition in the summer of 2015, and didn’t hear back for months; I received the phone call to pre-record and practice with the band for my blind audition a week before I needed to be in the studio (because someone else couldn’t do it, they told me- I never understood why they would ever tell someone that). I had to prepare a list of 3 songs in English and 3 in french for them to choose which one I performed. They obviously chose a song in French.

I’m going to skip a lot of the boring details, because I could probably write an entire book about it that would really only be interesting to me 40 years in the future as a recounting of that thing I did that one time. I made it past the first round of auditions, selected my coach, and became the token Anglo who can sing in French but can barely speak a word. This really resonated with the people who watched the show.

Everyone was really kind. I couldn’t have ever imagined being accepted the way I was, for whatever reason it may have been. I only received one message from a girl who thought I should move back to Ontario because Quebec is for French people and I embarrassed myself on the show. I tried to remind myself through the entire experience that the things people say on the Internet are not so much to hurt someone else but to make themselves feel better.

I was interviewed by an English paper in Montreal about my audition and what it is like to be on a French speaking show as an anglophone. In retrospect, (and don’t get me wrong, I’m really grateful that someone took enough interest in me to want to write an article about me at all) but I don’t really think that article was so much about me as it was what I represented. I never wanted to be a spokesperson for the anglophone community during my passage on the show, I just wanted an opportunity to progress my career, and maybe learn some French. After each performance, even if it was just one sentence I spoke in French, people would send me messages thanking me for trying. I knew that was important to people, especially in a place like Quebec where language is such a large and important part of their culture. It was important for me to respect that, especially as the show progressed and people started to “get to know me”, and somehow still liked me. It just sort of felt like at moments, people were more interested in my presence as an anglophone than in my presence as a performer.

I grew up playing in punk/alternative bands, which if you met me at 14, you would never believe. I was a really shy kid with horrible stage fright, and the idea of getting up in front of people with nothing else for them to look at but me was enough to, at multiple points in my life, induce vomit. But I really liked playing music, and I was lucky enough to meet a great group of guys in high school who were stupid enough to ask me to be the lead singer/lyricist for their band. I definitely adopted the 'punk lead singer shithead’ role very quickly. I had never felt like I belonged anywhere so much in my life, no matter how difficult it was to get up on stage. People really liked us. And if you haven’t gotten how self-deprecating I am yet, I’m not a gloater. A bloater, yes, but no gloater. I really wasn’t very popular in high school so I knew it wasn’t my personality that people were drawn to, it was the music. It’s a really liberating feeling to know you’re being yourself and doing what you love and people respond to it. I was lucky that I got to fall in love with music that way. I never felt like I had to be something I wasn’t.

When I hit my early twenties, I started to really enjoy listening to jazz. Like, gimme a cup of coffee and a Chet Baker vinyl and I’ll trade you my first born kind of enjoyment. I also find as I’ve gotten older and the style of music I write has changed, so has the tone of my voice. I will for sure still aggressively sing Rise Against in my partner’s face on road trips or let out a good pig squeal every now and again, but the sultry tones of blues and jazz make me feel sexy and speak to me a bit more now than punk music does. For my blind audition, I sang a super jazzy arrangement of 'La Mer’, which is the French version of 'Beyond The Sea’, (if you’ve ever seen a cruise commercial, you’ve definitely heard this song). I wanted to keep in this style of music for the live shows, but my coach was insistent that I play something punk.

“I’ve seen the videos of you playing your guitar, sweating, rocking out, we should show the real you”.

…the “real” me. I didn’t even know who that was. It definitely wasn’t the 14 year old girl who had no idea what she was doing and somehow stumbled upon punk music, but it wasn’t the 23 year old who sang La Mer on a reality show, either. He wanted me to sing American Idiot by Green Day because it was a popular song that a lot of people would know. I wanted to do something like Sleater Kinney or Bikini Kill, because if you’re going to be “the girl who plays punk music”, you might as well be the fucking girl who plays punk music. We settled on Smells Like Teen Spirit because it’s popular enough that the audience would know it, and I liked it enough that my pride wouldn’t be hurt singing it live in front of 2.5 million people. Even if it may be their most popular song (or hated depending who you ask), there’s no denying that Nirvana played a huge role in my musical education and was my first real introduction to grunge, as I think it was for a lot of people. Maybe that’s why that performance held the power it did, because it tapped into a part of people where they remembered that they didn’t have to give a shit. (I won’t talk much about the performance for which I was eliminated, but I got to sing 'Creep’ by Radiohead and say 'fucking’ twice on national television, so being labeled as the 'rocker girl’ has its perks, too.)

They compile a montage of your rehearsals, interviews, and your coach’s commentary before your live performance. During the interview, they asked me if I thought I could win with the song. I couldn’t outright say no, even if I believed it, so what I did say, what has stuck with me even a year later, and what never aired, was this: “if a young girl who wants to play punk music is scared of finding her way in a male dominated industry and feels inspired by what I do, that is a win for me”. They instead chose to air the phrase they prompted me to say: “I feel sexy with my guitar”. They wanted me to wear a skirt and play up the little school girl look, but I didn’t want to be seen as the girl who played punk music. I wanted to be seen just as the person who played punk music. So instead, I wore dress shoes, high waisted tartan pants, and a shirt and tie.

Honestly, people lost their shit. I won the first live show with 64% of the vote. I’m pretty sure this was mostly because people were so shocked by the performance and didn’t expect something like that from me. And to this day, I am still known as the girl who played Nirvana. If people recognize me on the street, that’s how they remember me. Not my name, not for La Mer, but as the girl who played Nirvana. I’m planning to release an album sometime this year, which to my surprise, people actually seem to be anticipating, but a lot of them want me to do something punk or rock, and that’s just not what it’s going to be. Not because I don’t still love it, and there are some songs that are upbeat and fun and raw. But there are others that are sweet and tender or moody and sad or bluesy or soft or a mix of everything. I just don’t ever want to feel like I have to represent myself by one thing, or like I have to make decisions based on what I think other people will like more than I will.

My intention isn’t to insult anyone with anything I’ve said, because frankly, I understand why anyone working on the show made the decisions they made. They need to put on the best show they can, and sometimes, that means cutting the anglo punk chick’s speech pushing her feminist agenda. Everyone is built a story so the people watching the show can feel closer to the participants. This is just the way reality shows work. The Hills, Real Housewives of wherever the fuck, all of these shows work on creating an identity for the “characters” so the audience can either love them or hate them. But the audience needs to feel something, or they won’t respond to the show. Maybe it wasn’t exactly how I would have wanted it, but the audience felt something when I performed. 8 months later, I got a message on tumblr from a girl who told me how much my presence on the show meant to her. To know that you impacted a strangers life in a profound way is a really incredible feeling, one I would not have if it wasn’t for being on a reality tv show. I don’t want to deny that that experience will always live with me, but I want to be honest about it. I want to control how I am perceived, however much I’m able to do that.

*I want to thank anyone who has shared one of my videos, liked my posts, sent me a message, followed my journey, told me 'lache pas’, or supported me in any way during and after my experience on the show. I’m so lucky to have met the people I did, experienced the things I have, and be getting closer to my dream of being a musician. There are no words to properly describe my gratitude.*

[ixcaliber]

I Will Rate Every Stand In Part 5

Gold Experience - not a bad stand for a protagonist, pretty versatile, looks are okay, giorno has plenty of opportunities to use it in weird and creative ways to overcome obstacles. a pretty solid stand 7 out of 10

Sticky Fingers - first up i’m a sucker for the hidden eyes look so this stand gets extra points right from the get go, the zips thing is pretty cool and sometimes buccelati does the ora ora thing with ari ari arrivederci when he hits people 8 out of 10

Black Sabbath - okay so black sabbath looks seriously cool it has the whole venetian garb look going for it and the arrow motif i’m already on board when it comes to this stand but then for bonus points its a remote stand that operates in a cool and interesting way (attacking everyone who sees polpo’s lighter get extinguished and using the arrow to do so to create new stand users for the mob) and god i’m super on board except i do have a couple of niggling questions. Like how did the stand arrow become part of polpo’s stand, why didn’t the requiem stuff happens when in the fight black sabbath stabs gold experience with the arrow? i’m not gonna get too bogged down in inconsistencies and shit that doesn’t make 100% sense though because this is jojo after all. ultimately black sabbath is a real good stand. 9 out of 10

Moody Blues - moody blues looks real cool and also while maybe not the best fighting stand imagine how powerful a stand is that can play back any action anyone has taken so long as it has access to the place where it happened and knows when it happened. it’d be virtually impossible to keep anything secret from this stand and i love it. also the part where it flies the plane by replicating the actions of a pilot. it’s really cool and underutilized maybe. 8 out of 10

Soft Machine - it put a boat in another boat and i still don’t understand the logistics of this 4 out of 10

Sex Pistols - while i like standard stand design i really really like stands that don’t adhere to that and this stand is bullets and its really good. they’re kind of adorable sometimes and its just a shame that shooting people is pretty useless in jojo 6 out of 10

Kraftwerk - dont like its teeth i’d be so much more enthused about this stand if it didn’t have this awful fixed grin (though maybe thats the point given its ability) its ability is cool so i can be too mad at it though 5 out of 10

Aerosmith - remember when i said i was a big fan of stands that don’t look like the standard... Aerosmith great its just again kind of a shame that its ability isn’t the most engaging you know... 6 out of 10

Little Feet - shrinks its enemies it’s dull and plain looking 1 out of 10

Purple Haze - the stand too powerful to ever actually do anything throughout the entirety of part 5. it looks cool enough the only problem with this stand is that it’s a protagonist stand instead of an antagonist stand. i really kind of feel like after buccelati et all broke off from the mob and fugo remained loyal they should have done more with that. fugo being actually loyal and seeing his friends as betraying him and then actually going after them, that’d have been a cool story imo. purple haze is kind of too powerful though so um 5 out of 10 could have been cool but wasn’t

Man In The Mirror - this stand has like a mask thing going on which is in its favour but at the same time its like a mirror world thing and its kind of... whatever i’ll give it a 7 out of 10 for that mask alone

Mr President - apparently the name of the turtle room stand. it’s pretty cool even though i don’t understand why a turtle has an alcove for a key and how that whole arrangement came to exist. is the key the stand and the turtle the user? are they part of a whole? was this turtle just born with a key in its back or born with this indent and then once someone found the matching key its stand was unlocked? so many questions. one thing is for sure this turtle is a precious friend lets say a 5 out of 10 for being more functional than interesting

The Grateful Dead - lots of eyes... kind of unpleasant to look at... the aging thing is pretty cool though... 5 out of 10, it might have got more but somehow it fails to be as outright alarming as 

Beach Boy - any scene where Beach Boy is moving up beneath someone’s flesh is the most viscerally unpleasant. i kind of can’t believe that a stand that’s just a fishing rod is as much of a nightmare as it is but holy shit. 8 out of 10 is a score thats supposed to reflect that its a very effective stand at what it sets out to do even if i am not exactly super fond of it

Baby Face - the first thing this stand does is rape a woman so she can give birth to a specially designed bucellati hunting stand... this is a bad bad stand. 0 out of 10

White Album - white album has powers to make things cold... which is... okay i guess i mean i’d certainly take that over punching stands that just punch real hard. it does get points for being a stand that someone can wear and having cool ice skate feet though. 6 out of 10

King Crimson - haha god i’ve got no fucking idea ?? out of 10

Clash - i do like the non-humanoid stands so i’m already down with this i um forgot what this stand can actually do though.... oh okay just the teleportation between liquids, i um kind of expected it to have something more than that given that it needs that much to be even just able to get around. its okay you know but not what i might have envisaged for something based on The Clash. 6 out of 10

Talking Head - looking back i seem to either be saying ‘i like the design but the power isn’t interesting’ or ‘i like the power but the design is bad’ and this is the latter of the two. it’s pretty fun and is used real well though lets say 7 out of 10

Notorious B.I.G. - Notorious BIG is great i love this unkillable stand, the only stand that actually survives because they’re just like ‘nope there’s nothing we can actually really do about this lets just get it the frick away from us’. its design is great its concept is great. i mean i do have to wonder what the heck its deal was before its user died i mean this is not a useful stand to have at all. that guy must have been real dedicated to the mob you know. 10 out of 10 love this stand so much

Spice Girl - mostly just mad araki didn’t really give trish the actual opportunity to fight anyone or really use her abilities. there’s also no real need for spice girl to have breasts. wasn’t a major fan of how spice girl seemed to be sort of an independent intelligence and essentially i just want trish to be given more and to be treated better. kind of shitty that the one fight they actually give her is one thats unwinnable by design she doesn’t get to kill anything. maybe also not great that they give her a stand thats focused on softness i mean feminine stereotyping you know... that said spice girl is okay and the power is interesting and it’d have been nice to see it more fully utilized 6 out of 10

Metallica - the little metal beings that live inside the guys body i umm i ummmmm some of them are kind of cute somehow but seriously this stand kind of made me uncomfortable for most of its existence. oh oh and i forgot that metallica has the ability to turn an enemies blood into razor blades and shit i um nope no no thanks 5 out of 10 points being awarded for kind of cuteness and the power is pretty creative but i still hate it

Green Day - looks too human like to be really endearing to me... but has an interesting power and is well utilized and gets to do the thing where the user dismembers himself and uses green day’s ability to control each limb independently its fucking wild 7 out of 10 sure why not

Oasis - my experience may be biased given this is where i ran out of good translations and the fight just became incomprehensible. Oasis seems like a sub optimal name for a stand that can dive deep into the ground... and the design is kinda meh. the power is... okay i mean i guess this predates the awful senor pink from one piece but i did see that first and he left a bad taste and the guy who uses Oasis is pretty trash also... lets be generous and say 4 out of 10

Silver Chariot Requiem - requiem stands are duuumb. if you’re gonna add like another layer of power to a stand make it at least like an extension of the power of that stand. Silver Chariot’s power was like what...? well it was a part 3 stand i think it was just that it could slice things with a sword and was pretty fast things were much simpler and sometimes less interesting back in part 3 but requiem silver chariot has 1) make everyone in the entire city of rome go to sleep 2) bodyswap everyone in the entire city of rome 3) i think i remember that like it was trying to bring mankind towards its next stage of evolution or something who even fucking knows and 4) turns your own stand attacks against you powers. this stand makes no sense as a bumped up version of silver chariot i hate it 0 out of 10

Gold Experience Requiem - guess what other stand makes no sense as a souped up version of the original yep its this one. Gold Experience’s power is just the opposite of whatever King Crimson’s power is because we just need to be able to beat King Crimson and get the part over with already. 0 out of 10

Rolling Stones - i scream please just end already at the manga but it does not listen instead i have to read this chapter designed to explain why Buccelati didn’t be the dead for such a long length of time, or I assume as much. yeah also there’s a part in this where its like ‘oh this girl touched the stand and realized she was going to have a painful death from an illness so just was like well i guess i’ll go and commit suicide right now then this seems like the logical course of action’ i didn’t enjoy this stand 0 out of 10

in summary i enjoyed part 5 i just felt that the end was super disappointing and trish deserved better

[vinylexams]

Dramathan - Into the Pink

I’m VERY excited to make this post because if you’ve been following VE for a while, you’ll recognize it as one of the only albums I’ve used this platform to help fund-raise to see it get pressed! Dramathan, or Jonathan as I know him, has been making noisy, DIY bedroom rock for a while now and Into the Pink is a big ol’ hunk of album with an even bigger story behind it. I won’t tell the story on his behalf, since there’s a pretty meaty interview waiting for you on our main website, but this album has a lot of backstory. Musically speaking, it’s really catchy pop-minded indie rock. It’s a little crunchy, it’s a little shoegazey, and it reminds me of the best-of-the-best college rock bands back in the mid and late 90s. Now, what’s even more exciting about this post is that it serves as your official heads up that I’ve also had a chance to interview Jonathan himself about this album and I’m including it in its entirety below the link to listen for yourself!

https://dramathantheband.bandcamp.com/album/into-the-pink

INTERVIEW:

Hi Jonathan! I’d love for you to tell us a bit about the album’s story and what you want us to know about the great music you’ve written here.

First of all, thank you! Not only for today, but for being one of the early supporters of this album. I’m aiming for brevity on this one because I know I have a lot to say! Into the Pink is my sophomore follow up to California Magick, both released on Kerchow Records.  It is an album I wrote and recorded in its entirety all by myself. It documents these past couple of years full of love, death, redemption, depression,fame, triumph, fame, and a life changing cancer diagnosis. Jayne Mansfield’s Pink Palace was the inspiration for the title and thought of moving into the house of love.  The remastered tracks are on Kerchow’s website and were the tracks used to press my new vinyl on pink wax! The vinyl can be purchased only through the Dramathan bandcamp.

Dramathan is a play on your name Jonathan, so tell us a little about that!

Like a lot of teens everything I experienced was just the end of the fucking world, a real costume drama. But in my defense my childhood was full of drama/trauma not completely of my own making. Yeah, I did wild things and was a chronic runaway. But what was I running away from? That’s the real question! But I digress. The short version is one day my mom called me that, it was funny and it just stuck. She was the only one who called me that for a long time.  It’s in the Urban Dictionary and they describe it as “an over dramatic gay dude” (which I may or may not had a hand in coining) but I think of it more now as queer who puts an end to the drama and cuts through the bullshit. It’s a bit strange having a band name or persona that’s actually ridiculously personal. That’s kind of a running theme in my life. I mean, if you see my IMDB I play myself on The Fine Bros. React channel on Youtube.  I’m lucky to have it though. It’s a name that really allows me to play to my moodiness musically and doesn’t pigeon hole me to a specific sound. Plus, It’s really the only good word play you can do with my name besides “Jon Not Thin” which is my IG handle, so there.

I shared a link to your GoFundMe page earlier this year to raise money for this pressing and also to help support your mother who is undergoing treatment for cancer. How has that campaign worked out?

In terms of funding, great. In term of community, it worked out better than anything I could have hoped for. I always thought I knew who my community was, but who it actually consisted of…well.. .that was a bit of a rude awakening.  People that I supported by showing up to their shows, donating money to, or by lending my name to their events were nowhere to be found. That was until the buzz around Into the Pink started! It was fans of music not fame that lifted me up from its inception.  There are so many people that claim to be supporters of poc-lgbtqia+-artists, so evolved in their inclusivity, but really are hypocritical or just surfing the trend for likes and followers.  And these are things that shouldn’t be made trendy, because the problem with making them trendy is that trends go out of fashion and we are here to stay!  These are real fucking people! The truth is people like me have to work twice as hard to get half as far in this industry.  My therapist would say “thoughts are things” and ask “Is this a narrative you’ve created?” To that I say, ‘Yeah , thoughts are things and people can create a narrative, but reality is a thing too!’ And the reality is Into the Pink is album that was created on the island of misfit toys. It doesn’t really fit into one genre and there are people that get it and love it!  Yes, I am aware that the story behind it resonates with a lot of people, but it wouldn’t be doing this well if it wasn’t a good album.  Here is where I show my hubris. The people who funded it know the back story, but the majority of people buying the vinyl don’t.  They want the music!!! I recorded this album all by myself, zero budget and on a phone! A damn phone, Nate! I had this one review where a sound engineer critiqued Into the Pink.  Not a rock journalist mind you, but a sound engineer.  They said things like “…not more than fuzzy guitars, drums and vocals…” well that’s what I had to work with! There was no producer and no studio! I love the Pixies but I’m not trying to be the Pixies! (another thing he threw out there, there are even references to the Sex Pistols which shows his musical pool to pull from).  Black Francis isn’t recording in his bedroom in between taking his mother to chemo. I did win him over though and at the end he recommended it. A fucking sound engineer! He said I did “a remarkable job with the tools he was working with” and that all my songs were “catchy” a term I used to hate but now embrace as one of my strengths. All this is extremely important for any artist to know (esp. marginalized ones) and I’m not afraid to speak on these things and really show my seams, because I want people esp. queer or people of color to know it’s hard, but also know that they can do it!!! So many people finally get through the door and get a seat at the table in this industry. But then they shut the door behind them, barricade it! Because they feel like there isn’t room for anyone else. FUCK THAT! I’m all about breaking down that damn door and holding it open for others like me.  I mean… the cream rises. You’re only afraid if you don’t have the goods. So, now I keep my circle tight, but right. Many of the campaign supporters were friends of React or Reactors themselves (Trudi, Ary, Faith and Jason). The trans community really stepped up and friends that know my mother.  They know my mom has spent her entire life helping people, fighting for gay/equal rights by being part of ACT UP, a Brown Beret who helped raised money for communities where people couldn’t pay for their families’ own funerals, and a social worker who always went above and beyond as an advocate for the people she was assigned to. It was time to give back to the woman who had given so much all of her life.

If it’s not too forward, how is your mom doing? I know we’re all sending her lots of good vibes and thinking of her as she goes through treatment!

It’s rough. I didn’t know that the heart could break so many times in a day. How many times until it’s just broken, ya know??? Some days I hear my mom’s very distinct laugh and I am so grateful for that day and then the next moment I find myself frightened I might forget it someday soon. I want people to know how hard it can be so they cherish every moment with their loved ones without being a total buzzkill. I live my life pretty publicly/authentically, but I can only tell my side of it. I will say she’s a fighting and kicking ass, but for once I wish things could just be easy for her.

Tell us a little about you, the musician.

Well… I’m an autodidact. Before I got into punk I listened to a lot of female R&B groups, oldies and those old school Jamz like “Lookout Weekend” by Debbie Deb. My mom played a lot of Pat Benatar, The Cars, and Janet Jackson around the house so I learned a lot about hooks from those artists, at least early on. But I picked up on how to write harmonies from bands like Veruca Salt not the Beach Boys!

What is your approach to songwriting? Who do you credit as some of your biggest influences?

I’m a fucking workhorse when it comes to music! For every song on this album there are at least two others that didn’t make the cut!  I will put out shit song after shit song until one feels right. (I shouldn’t say they were shit, but just weren’t up to my standards). I don’t wait for a muse to show up and guide my hands “Ghost” style. Sure, I get inspired, but I need to write and love doing so. This time though I stepped it up, I knew that I needed to write something people would buy! That’s the harsh reality of it.  I still create without an audience in mind with the exception of a younger me. Growing up I always wanted to hear songs about boys loving boys, magick, poc, etc. So, I create what I want to see more of in the world and share personal experiences in hope to lessen others’ alienation. I also didn’t listen to any music while writing this album! I did have a vision board that had pictures of Deborah Harry, Debi Martini (whom I dedicated the album to), Jayne Mansfield and Patti Smith. Also, a list of bands I love including: Hole, Huggy Bear, Red Aunts, Helium, Julie Ruin, Free Kitten, Kaito, Veruca Salt, Slant 6, Frumpies, and L7. It was less a vision board and more of a reminder. Like REMEMBER WHAT YOU LOVE LISTENING TO and WHY! Hole will forever be my number one influence, I think Courtney Love is an underrated lyricist even if a vast amount of people think she is an overrated anything else. It’s funny because I grew up listening to noise bands, red aunts, but what comes out of me is this weird alt. pop! I mean, I don’t know many noise bands with bridges and a hook. Go figure!

If you got to collaborate with one famous musician or band (alive OR dead), who would it be and why?

Patti Smith, but what would I bring to the table??? She’s a Poet laureate! I would just prostrate myself at her feet.

What made you want to press this album on vinyl and how did you get connected with your label, Kerchow Records?

That was always the goal from day one.  As a collector, why not my own wax? I read somewhere that on a digital format your ear/brain can get tired of the fixed sound. On vinyl it’s forever changing in the most miniscule of ways so it’s harder to tire of. We did do the cassette tape first because we weren’t fully funded and time was of the essence. The tracks weren’t mixed to my liking (my doing) but, I didn’t know how long we had with my mother. So, we released it just so my mother could see a tangible product.  Not to mention Kerchow is famous for putting out tapes so I am honored to be their first vinyl release. I know they did one before, but it was combined label release with two other labels. Into the Pink is their first solely Kerchow vinyl. I first met Nick Dolezal in Fresno through my then boyfriend, Taylor Rosario-Price.  Fresno is one of my hometowns. They have some of the best and worst people you will ever meet. Nick of Kerchow is one of the good ones. That is also how I met the brilliant Damaris Paz who made my vision for the cover come to fruition. All are amazing musicians/artists in their own right. I didn’t think they would be interested in my first album California Magick, because like I said before, my style didn’t really mesh with what I heard from their label or any for that matter, but I believe he was intrigued by how I was recording the songs before he heard the songs themselves. I didn’t even think to shop demos around for Into the Pink.  They believed in me before the Youtube success and I’m all about bringing people up with me. They believed in me from the beginning so I wouldn’t just do one release and leave… it’s called loyalty!

What does the vinyl format mean to you? If you’re a collector, how did you get started and what types of records do you like to collect?

I started in my teens with whatever I could find at thrift stores. “Sounds to make you shiver” was a good one and probably the scratched to hell “Rumours” by Fleetwood Mac (which I still have). It started with riot grrrl releases! There was a time when whatever Kill Rock Stars put out without question, without hearing it, I would just buy it, because I knew it would be amazing. I have an affinity for the female voices so the majority of my collection is that.  I have thousands of pieces of vinyl. Not to sound to snobby, but I only buy NM or Mint vinyl now.

Do you have any white whale records that you’ve never been able to find?

I’m going to say something I never thought I would say but I pretty much have all the records that I want.  I know what your readers are thinking ‘well there you have it he’s not a real collector’, not true!  It changed throughout the years. When I was doing my tumblr 365 it was an og pressing of Live Through This, got it. Not to mention a white label candy heart promo copy of Hole demos and rarities.  Then it was all about getting them signed.  I have signatures by: Kat Bjelland, Mary Timony, Louise Post, Janet Weiss, Theo Kogan etc. I even got The Craft soundtrack signed by Rachel True. Believe me, there are still records I would like to have but I know where they are. I still need singles like  LaVern Baker “Voodoo, Voodoo”, Donna Lynn “I’d Much Rather Be with the Girls”, April Stevens “Kiss me tiger”, and Betty Lavette’s “Witchcraft in the air”  It’s a cash issue as I am sure it is with a lot of collectors. Also, there are records that aren’t on vinyl that I’m waiting for like, Frumpies “One Piece”, the Jawbreaker soundtrack, Juliana Hatfield’s “Made in China”, even Sheryl Crow’s self-titled album lol!

Last Question! What’s a bit of Dramathan trivia that you’ve never told anyone in print before!

Until this album I had never wrote songs about one particular person.  Even if it’s an it’s a very devasting break up song or about a boy (usually a diss track) it’s always snippets of many different experiences tied together.  I feel in doing so, like, when you compile many different experiences that feel similar it has a synergistic effect and a lot more people can relate. Collecting all the teardrops to make the tidal wave sort of thing.  Also, I feel like if I were to hone in on one person I would destroy them psychically! One song in particular is about my best bruja Lily. Who in my darkest hour showed up in my dream and I did the same in hers on the same night. She told me I “dream jumped” and as an avid student of the esoteric believe she saved me both in my dream and in real life because I was really depressed.

Also, I mention Angelyne in the album because we met for coffee and she drove me around Hollywood in her iconic pink corvette (for free I might add) and while writing L.A. Water I kept the pink quartz crystal she gave me in sight.

[amorremanet]

in which still no one asked for this, but it made me feel a little better about how i have a shitty day ahead of me, and pete got to go second because i have blatant authorial favoritism for him but at least i admit it?

their blog url: itwasafineaffair

Pete would tell you how many different pretentious, increasingly ridiculous theatre kid URLs he considered before finally, “going back to basics” and settling on lyrics from Cabaret’s, “Mein Herr,” but then he’d probably have to kill you because it’s a very large, embarrassing number.

That said, he still has the URL ghostsonatas saved in case he ever gets bored of Sally Bowles and decides to break out the August Strindberg.

Also, here’s the Liza Minelli version of, “Mein Herr.” Don’t ask Pete who his favorite Sally Bowles is unless you’re willing to clear your schedule for the entire afternoon because he has a lot of Opinions about that question.

their blog title: “yes, princess, i am immensely happy. thank you.”

which really only makes sense when you see Sebastian’s blog title.

Pete’s blog title used to make sense, because it kept the “Mein Herr” theme: “i’ve always said that i was a rover.” At one point, it was, “du sollst mich nicht mehr sehen, mein herr” because he’d just gotten dumped and was being emotional about it all over his blog title to restrain himself from actually being a shit to his ex.

But then his Princess finally got on tumblr, so Pete matched his blog title to Seb’s.

He would probably try to insist on matching icons, too, but Seb doesn’t see the point and he only got a non-default icon when he left Pete alone with his laptop for a few minutes and Pete picked a selfie for him to use.

For his own part, Pete’s icon changes every couple months, and when the novel starts, Pete’s icon is bearded Chris Evans holding a puppy.

the original posts they make: puns. shitposts. snarky liveblogs of whatever happens to be on TV at the moment. complaining about his coworkers. sub-post complaining about Todd (who usually doesn’t get it). all but outright saying that he is complaining about Todd (who still usually doesn’t get it). “random brief observations or whatever happens to be on Pete’s mind right now.” pictures of Seb’s dogs and/or their sponsor’s cat. pictures of Seb and Margot (give or take a few others, but seriously, Pete isn’t that close to very many people, and he usually only features Todd’s face when he can’t get out of it).

the kind of posts they reblog: Pete’s sidebar will tell you, “this is a personal blog, which means that i post whatever the hell i want and you can react however you want, but i’ll still keep posting whatever i want because it is my personal blog.” But to get a better idea:

cute pictures from blogs with themes like, “butches cuddling kittens” and, “bears cuddling puppies” and so on.

theatre, generally, and especially musical theatre. there’s a lot of general appreciation and theatre kid blogging — I mean, he’s right there and ready to reblog those photos from the one production of Midsummer’s Night’s Dream where Puck and Oberon are really, really close, or photos from when Ben Whishaw played Dionysus in Bakkhai — but Pete also reblogs more serious criticism, theatre history, commentary on the social and political significance of theatre, and so on.

Sometimes, he gets in a Mood and will lecture you on the significance of musical theatre specifically, and if he’s especially Moody, he’ll break out his copy of DH Miller’s Place For Us: An Essay on the Broadway Musical and flap loudly at you about why musical theatre is really and truly a dyed in the wool LGBTQ art form and stop trying to heterosexualize musical theatre already, it’s gross.

(On any given day, there is like a 95% chance that he will be in this Mood because Todd said something ignorant about musical theatre being, “stereotypical” and didn’t really listen when Pete went, “No, stop talking, here is why you’re wrong, you dumb-ass hipster white boy fuck” at him, and Pete just has a lot of residual feelings to express.)

Seriously, in the novel’s timeline, the critical pushback of historians, cultural critics, et al. going, “Um, actually? There are some aspects of this that are troubling for these reasons and we should really be having a Discussion about this” at Lin Manuel Miranda and Hamilton hasn’t started to happen yet…… but when it does? Pete will be all over it. He will be so. excited.

He won’t even be anti-Hamilton as such (like, he enjoyed the bootleg he watched since he won’t be seeing it live because jesus shit, tickets are expensive, but he also wouldn’t actually ask Seb to please use his parents’ connections to somehow find them Hamilton tickets or anything, because ehhhh, that sounds like a lot of work for a payoff that wouldn’t be worth it). Pete just loves it when people take musical theatre seriously as an art form and talk about it like that. It makes him so happy, he could just start crying.

politics or current events, sometimes. there aren’t really very many discernible trends in what he reblogs or doesn’t, on that front, beyond, “well, gay things and LGBTQ stuff more generally make pretty regular appearances” and, “Pete has tags specifically for, ‘disgruntled filipinx blogging’ and, ‘disgruntled biracial blogging.’”

fashion photography and fashion stuff generally, though:

1. it’s mostly for reference in his theatre things. Like, he does sort of enjoy the fashion stuff itself, and he has definitely reblogged some fashion things because he didn’t care about the clothes or the photography but thought the male models were gorgeous…… but even though he doesn’t usually work in costume design, Pete finds fashion stuff productively inspiring;

and 2. this happens a loooot less after February 2014, because that was when he got back from rehab (which his Mama insisted on because it was what Sebastian and Todd both did, even though Pete had already done his homework about outpatient options that didn’t involve going to Middle Of Nowhere, Minnesota, and he liked those ideas a lot better…… but he needed his Mama’s help to pay for any option, and she went, “inpatient rehab first, it’s definitely going to be better for you” and she genuinely believed that, so Pete cooperated)

Which was a big deal wrt Pete’s periodic fashion-blogging because one of the most important things that Pete got out of rehab was the one-on-one session where one of his the therapists said, “Peter, has anyone ever suggested that you might have an eating disorder?”

—which started as a, “face-crack of the century, wait what, what in the shit even are you talking about, of course they haven’t because I don’t have one…… right?” moment and eventually shifted his whole view of everything around and made him go, “holy shit, this explains so much” — and a lot of his initial resistance came out of how he’d never crashed and burned quite so obviously as people tend to think of when they hear the phrase, “eating disorder,” but still. that made so much sense out of so many things for him.

It also made him look more closely at his periodic fashion-blogging and go, “Oh. Some of this is definitely an exercise in self-abuse for me. I should maybe do that less and, like. Keep a better eye on that. And…… okay, wow, what the fuck even is my life, I really, really wish Mama had let me do the outpatient thing instead because holy shit, if they’d suggested that, I could go cling at Bastian right now instead of having to process this on my own with a bunch of nosy other patients sticking their faces into my business, like shit I appreciate the concern from most of them but I want to be with my best friend right now.”

(Pete got his clinging later, when he got back. And he unwittingly made Seb kick one of his slips off the wagon, because he’d spent almost a week coasting by on his ability to fake sobriety while telling himself things like, “okay, if I just moderately abuse my substances of choice, everything will totally work out fine”… but then Pete came home with the, “So, the shrinks in rehab said I have an eating disorder, and it makes sense and all, and I’m fucking terrified” news and Seb went, “okay no, that’s not going to work, Pete needs me to be there for him more than I want to be intoxicated”)

music. there isn’t a lot of rhyme or reason to what he’ll reblog, when, or why, because Pete will listen to almost anything.

One anecdote is that he hadn’t really had much exposure to Nicki Minaj, outside of, “Super Bass” and her verse in, “Monster,” until he deliberately went looking for Nicki stuff on tumblr because Todd, in his perpetually obnoxious hipster-ness, was trying to avoid her entirely because she was, “undeniably talented, but too mainstream.”

So, Pete wanted to annoy Todd and give him a huge middle finger for that shit because on one hand, yeah, uh huh. Way to say that about a black woman artist while actually paying (Bastian’s parents’) money to buy the Glee soundtrack legally, as if that is somehow LESS mainstream than Nicki Minaj, are you SERIOUS.

Also, Todd? YOU OWN MULTIPLE ALBUMS BY MAROON 5. STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW “ANTI-MAINSTREAM” YOU THINK YOU ARE BECAUSE YOU WEAR FLANNEL AND BUDDY HOLLY GLASSES AND YOUR ALLEGED “FILMS” MAKE NO SENSE.

And on the other, oh my god, shut up, you obnoxious fucking hipster, everybody already fucking gets it: you want to be original and edgy and insightful and cool, and you overcompensate because, on some level, you KNOW that you are none of these things, and you are an insecure little white boy who can’t deal with how ~*mainstream*~ more than a handful of his interests actually are, now shut up shut up shut up shut upppppppp.

Clearly, the best way to make this point to Todd was to loudly, insistently support Nicki Minaj and put her on Todd’s dash whenever possible.

That didn’t exactly work out as well as Pete wanted it to because Todd singularly failed to get the point (or maybe he did but just committed himself to acting like he didn’t, Pete’s not sure).

But on the other hand, Pete actually listened to more of Nicki’s music than, “Super Bass” and her verse in, “Monster” while doing this, and that’s the story of how Pete came to fanboy Nicki Minaj.

Chris Evans. A lot of Chris Evans. Not quite, “more Chris Evans than your body has room for,” but say, like…… two steps down from a lethal dose of Chris Evans.

Not that Pete neglects the rest of the MCU, exactly, but he’s like 80% there for Chris Evans, 10% there for Anthony Mackie, 5% there for Sebastian Stan, 3% there for Mark Ruffalo, and 2% there for literally everything else. And it shows. Because he really blatantly favors Chris Evans.

These numbers will change somewhat when CACW actually happens in-character, because Chadwick Boseman. But Pete’s number one will still be Chris Evans.

Tangentially: Please do not ask Pete if he prefers CEvans shaven or bearded. Just don’t.

Don’t do it because his answer will be, “I prefer Chris Evans right here, right now, with his tongue in my mouth and his hand on my ass” and he will think this is clever every. single. fucking. time.

Don’t talk to him about Tom Hiddleston, either. But……… you should avoid doing this for very different reasons.

Like, without any external influence, Pete’s opinion of Tom Hiddleston would just be, “meh *shrugs* whatever, like I haven’t seen a million sad puppy-eyed weird-but-pretty edgelord white bad boys before. Like I don’t have a cute but troubled pretty white boy with big sad Bambi eyes for a best friend. Okay, he’s talented, but ugggggggh, I’m BORED”

—but see, Todd kind of has a Thing for Tom Hiddleston. Todd kind of loves Tom Hiddleston.

Which makes Pete determined to really not love Tom Hiddleston, literally just to annoy and spite Todd for, “having terrible, horrible, no good, very bad, boring as shit taste — my Princess excluded.”

So, uh. Don’t do that. (Trying to talk to him about RDJ isn’t advised against, but only because Pete will just ignore it and pretend he has no idea who that is.)

Oh, also, don’t expect Pete to care that the MCU and the XMCU are separate entities, or care that the canon of the XMCU can be a complete cluster-fuck, or give a fuck that all of the different Spiderman movies are not necessarily related to each other.

Don’t expect him to give a fuck about any of this because he thinks it’s way more entertaining to try and shove all of them into the same universe, just like you’d do with the actual comics.

Also, he has learned that he can get his cousin Emerson, Emerson’s weird nerd-bro friends, and Todd wound up really easily and make them do stupid things by feigning like he has no idea that Chris Evans and James McAvoy will not ever cross paths in a Marvel movie because of dumb copyright reasons, wondering why Hugh Jackman’s name isn’t on the cast list for Age of Ultron

and saying things like, “You know what would be the best possible thing for Thor: Ragnarok? At the midpoint, Sir Ian McKellan makes a grand entrance from behind some random curtains that weren’t there five minutes ago, purple cape billowing behind him, and Magneto punches Loki in the face. Boom, Ragnarok averted. They fill the rest of the movie’s runtime with Chris Evans taking me to dinner and a movie within a movie, it’d be totally meta, right? :D”

Yeah, Pete is also that person who would go to ComicCon in a “totally brilliant cosplay” as, “the World’s #1 S*tucky Shipper,” get super-method about his real-time LARPing as The World’s #1 S*tucky Shipper (but like, using actual method-acting, not, “Jared Leto sends giant health hazards to, harasses, and is otherwise horrible to his costars because lawl method” method-acting), and use it to satirize and take the piss out of both really OTT shippers and the people who act like shippers are Ruining Every Forever because they want to ship.

He’d also tell a nerd-bro that his favorite Gandalf quote is, “Do or do not, there is no try” but his second favorite Gandalf quote is, “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one,” and point to a picture of Michael Gambon’s Dumbledore and identify him as Gandalf while identifying a picture of the Fourth Doctor as Dumbledore, all just to annoy the nerd-bro, then yawn and saunter away while the nerd-bro has an angry meltdown.

Someday, Pete is going to troll the wrong person (again) and it will get him into really deep shit (again) that he won’t be able to wriggle out of by being charming and witty (like he usually does when he gets himself into these situations), but his take on this is, “Hey, as long as I don’t unwittingly troll a super-villain, it’s not actually that bad. What is the worst thing that could possibly happen.”

(Seb would point of that that’s exactly what he said before getting shocked into three major heart attacks by another mutant, which in turn triggered his first transformation into a nine-foot-tall wolf-man? And that he has said it in many, many other situations that immediately went from Bad to Worse to Shitty to Excremental to “the motherfucking shit-pits that trailed down from the hill of Golgotha” because saying things like, “what’s the worst that could happen” and, “what could possibly go wrong” is seriously tempting fate to kick your ass — but he will also admit that Pete has better luck on this front than he does, and that Pete has better coping skills, and that Peter Paolo Matthew Arden just has his shit more together than Seb does in general, so he’s somewhat less likely to end up in Golgotha levels of shit from this.)

(But, please, Pete? He would really, really, really like it if you could please act like you care whether or not you get into a mountain of shit from tempting fate by trolling people so liberally, like. Please. Pretty please. He loves you so much and knows that he can’t protect you from the ups and downs of life itself, but you’ve already had so much bad shit happen to you that Seb wants to keep you safe from as much unnecessary bad shit as possible, and…… please? (��︿⊙) )

cat pictures. dog pictures. wolf pictures. guinea pig pictures. iguana pictures. giraffe pictures. if there is a cute animal out there, being cute, it has a place on Pete’s blog. especially if he can find an excuse to tag Seb in them and go, “it you” (which he mostly limits to cats and, after Seb trips and falls into mutant werewolf superpowers, wolves — but he’s also gone, “it you” on pictures of lizards, sharks, lions [specifically, the “do lions blep” post], giraffes sticking out their weird blue tongues, tapirs, and pugs wearing sunglasses shaped like flowers).

Pete watched a bit of Community because Seb seemed really into it, and he thought it was okay, not enough to really reblog it that much but okay — but he definitely reblogged a gifset of Troy going, “awww, I wanna lick it” over a puppy from “Cooperative Calligraphy,” specifically so he could tag Seb and go, “awww, Princess, it you.”

In fairness, Seb deserves that and totally agrees that he deserves it because sometimes, he needs a chaperone when he goes to the local ASPCA shelter, or he might well try to adopt all of the dogs. Which Pete finds adorable in theory, and really endearing from his Princess…… but also, Seb? You have six babies already. You would have seven if you hadn’t lost Chewie at the end of April, assuming that you still adopted Cat without losing Chewie. Cool it. Chill. You do not need more dogs right now.

Pete has also been known to go, “awww, Princess, it us” on photosets of cats and dogs cuddling with each other, and “it me” on pictures of pugs embracing wine mom culture

(the latter of which, in retrospect, he kind of regrets doing. Like, he more or less stands by it, but it made Seb get Worried about him and go, “Are you okay? Do you need to talk? Because you were just getting on my ass about not making self-deprecating jokes about sobriety because it worries you, but now it kinda looks like you’re doing the exact same thing, and I’m just?? Should I be concerned, Pete? Do you want to talk about something? Are you okay??? I love you, you’re important to me, I can talk if you want to” which was not what Pete intended at all.

Like, on one hand, he hates making his best friend worry about him because if you ask Pete, it’s only natural for them to worry about each other, but both of them also need to work on worrying about themselves a bit more effectively. Because precedent says that both of them sort of suck at it, probably especially when they think that they’re doing okay with it.

On the other, he hates making Seb worry because Pete is still working on getting used to the feeling of someone caring about you. Like, even with Seb, who’s done things for him like blow off an entire weekend of shit to get down to Yonkers from Poughkeepsie and come out to Pete’s undergrad after he’d had a really messy breakup that caused a wave of drama in his entire friend-group, because Pete went to a small liberal arts school full of theatre kids (even among people who weren’t in the theatre program), and the gossip mill was ridiculous, and everything was a fucking disaster…

…so, Seb lied to his prep school teachers about a vaguely defined, “family emergency,” lied to his grandparents about not having any classes on Friday for some contrived reason to get them to give him a ride to the Metro-North station in Poughkeepsie, booked it down to Yonkers, and spent a three-day weekend with Pete.

Eventually, his grandparents found out what was going on, because Seb called his Mom that afternoon to go, “Hey, jsyk, I’m in Bronxville with Pete earlier than we’d planned this weekend, I’m probably going to use the credit card in the City tonight, we’ll be safe and stuff, but his ex-boyfriend’s a jerk and it’s screwing things up with all his friends too and he’s really upset and he needed somebody to be there with him who’s not involved in any of it” — but by that point, he and Pete had already had their three-day weekend, so it was just kinda whatever.

But, yeah. Like, Seb’s done stuff like that for Pete since they first really started getting to know each other, but unfortunately, Pete’s father and older brother are people who exist. And some of Pete’s dickbag ex-boyfriends are also people who exist. And between all of them, Pete’s wound up having a hard time with the concept of people genuinely caring about him, and even with Seb, he can bristle and go, “No, stop, this doesn’t make sense, why are you doing this, ‘caring about me as a person thing’”

And on the dorsal fin, Pete doesn’t like making Seb worry about him too much because when he’s at his best, Sebastian is a loving, generous, selfless person who is an amazing friend and cares about people for their own benefit even if he isn’t their friend…

but this is not an ideal world, and under all of that, Seb also has a problem where he over-relies on other people for a sense of stability and a sense of who the Hell he even is (the TL;DR of why is, “untreated clinical depression and some of the longterm side-effects thereof”)

and when things go wrong for the people Seb loves, things can start going wrong for Seb himself in short order, because he worries about them, feels their pain a bit too intensely (but not outside the human average enough to make it mutant-level empathy), and generally turns the volume on his human disaster-ness up to eleven.

Like, in the past year-and-a-half, Seb’s had ten separate stumbles off the wagon, and four of them started in close proximity to Something Bad happening to someone he loves — e.g., his Dad had a routine arthroscopic surgery, which went well enough on its own, but Abe had a bad post-op reaction to the anesthesia, and Marceline told her other three kids to basically tell Seb enough to keep him in the loop, but don’t get specific because he’ll worry. Unfortunately, this left Seb with a lot of questions, which made him worry, which made him feel helpless and miserable and scared…

……and then he dropped off the radar for thirty-six hours and when Todd went to his place to check on him, he found Seb coming down from being strung out on Percocet. And, like, okay, on the plus? Seb hadn’t taken all of what he’d gotten his hands on and had flushed the rest before Todd had even gotten there…… but he’d still been really strung out, and he was less than entirely enjoyable to be around while coming down (like, Todd called Nick, Seb’s sponsor, for him, and Seb spent most of their call groaning when Todd said something that was true but that Seb didn’t like him saying)

……and Pete got to see this when Todd called him, going, “Hey, it’s cool if you can’t, since I know you, like, just got back from your Mom-mandated rehab visit a couple weeks ago, but…… uh. Seb hasn’t eaten lately because he got strung out and forgot about it, and I’m not allowed to use his kitchen because he likes it un-exploded, and I don’t want him to be alone, so, like? Can you maybe come over here and cook something? Or take his credit card and get take-out? Or if not, just say so and I’ll try calling Margot again, but…… pleeeeease?”

So, yeah, uh. Pete would really like to not be the cause for that sort of thing, because he doesn’t want to do that to his Princess — especially since you can sometimes get Seb to not totally lose his head about things, and in fairness, he is slowly getting better, but he’s also a stubborn jackass about calming down [which Pete can’t actually judge him for, since Pete is arguably even worse on the, “stubborn jackass” front sometimes, but still] — and also because it would really fuck Pete’s mental health up for Seb to go off the rails. Partly because Seb would be off the rails, and partly because Pete would feel guilty about it.

So, yeah. Long story short, Pete has a lot of feelings about why he regrets going, “it me” on the picture of the pug embracing wine mom culture.)

Golden Girls anything. He’s only even seen a few episodes of it, but he loves it anyway. He has often gone, “Princess, it us” on posts that featured both Blanche and Dorothy, but no one’s really sure if he’s Dorothy and Seb is Blanche, or if it’s the other way around. Pete isn’t even sure, but he’d probably tell you that it depends on the post.

In his defense, both he and Seb have responded to, “better late than [blank]” with the answer, “pregnant!” before, and generally, they both have decent claim to either role.

Seb personally feels like he’s probably more like Rose, but Pete refuses to let him be Rose. Todd is Rose. Todd has to be Rose because as much as Pete likes Betty White, he’s not actually that fond of Rose, and views her in much the same way that he views Todd: they’re kiiiiind of cute sometimes when they aren’t trying too hard and they bring something to the group that Pete would miss if it went away…… but they can also be really fucking nerve-grating, whoops.

Also, Seb isn’t allowed to be Blanche for her, “I looooove a tight man! A tight man with cast-iron pecs… thighs that could choke a bear… butt you could eat breakfast off of… hnnnnnnnnnngh” line

For one thing, Seb isn’t allowed to be Blanche for that line because he’s not discriminatory or anything with body type, but his favorite exes have all been at least a little bit chubby, so like… the exact opposite of a tight man.

For another thing, he can’t say the line right. He doesn’t suck at it or anything, but it’s just missing something. Probably conviction. Because Seb’s preference is not actually for a tight man and he’s putting less effort into the characterization than Pete is.

With anyone else, Seb would hold that he’s putting less effort into the characterization because it’s just supposed to be fun, but…… This is fun for Pete, so whatever. Do your Dramatic™ thing, Pete. Enjoy it.

the first person they followed: the lgbtlaughs blog

what kind of theme they’d have: light background, dark text, straightforward with easy navigation and space for a sidebar pic and links. Not too fancy, but clean and nice-looking.

what kind of text posts they make at 2am: “oh my god it is motherfucking tech week why are these idiots still calling LINE”