#so maybe we start small?
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Do I write a short few chapter homoerotic sparring fic to motivate myself or do I just jump straight into “a little death” and make you guys wait a bunch until we finally get to the homoerotic sparring?
#probs gonna do the first one but then again I would be killing both birds with a singular stone if I just wrote the second option#which includes them as petty rivals for like 2 days as kids#Bal being scared of a storm and only knowing Ambrosius based on their basic and awkward interactions and running to his room for help#and then eventually in like who knows how many chapters when they are older#they do the gay fighting shit or whatever#but then again… I do need the motivation to do smth bigger#so maybe we start small?#I’m having a whole conversation with myself in the tags of this post#nimona#ambrosius goldenloin#ballister boldheart#ballister#goldenheart#ballister x ambrosius#nimona movie#todd sureblade#(he is an important tag for the ‘a little death’ fic)#(I do apolagise for that inconvenience)#maybe I should stop talking to myself and actually post this
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it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.
yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.
it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.
how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.
chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?
how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.
"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.
i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.
#writeblr#warm up#i can't write rn but i have SO much words in here bc im reading the chorus of dragons books#(just started book 4)#and this woman's writing is just LIVING in my brain. let me out!!!#(i read roughly like 2-4 books a week usually bc i go on long walks with my dog but when a book is REALLY good like. it eats my life. )#anyway ...... so like here's a story that idk i've tried to explain to other people as being wild#but maybe im the only one who thinks it is wild???#so i play pokemon go (i just started in jan) bc i love pokemon and as i have mentioned i walk goblin for like an hour in the morning#and i don't like a lot of fitness trackers due to the fact it makes me .sad. but i also wanted the little digital rewards. enter pokemon go#anyway so they make you make friends to complete quests. so i used a reddit thread. i do not usually use reddit. i don't have an acct#i lurked. i just googled like ''pokemon go reddit '' and randomly added a bunch of numbers#i was on that page for all of 15 minutes. there are THOUSANDS of responses on that page.#here's what's wild: in that group of people. even though i am not on reddit and it was one random event once#it turns out one of those people lives in the town i live in. or at least very close. i only know this because#when we send each other gifts. it's from the same freaking area.#i can't ask them to meet up bc pokemon go doesn't have a messaging app lol but like . what are the fucking chances that#a random person posts in a random reddit thread and HAPPENS to get added by someone ELSE from their SAME TOWN#who by pure fucking CHANCE is ALSO playing pokemon go and looking for friends#i googled it there's only 42000 people in my broad region. the .......... smallness ! of the world!!!
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#im lazy as hell#4 boxes in i lost my mind hahaha#megastar#im rewatching g1#ill draw better latee trust me#i just need to learn how to draw#hes supposed to be kissing the gun i uhhhh couldnt portray that so take my word for it#maccadam#transformers#anyways how yall nerds doing? i found my megatron figurine that survived getting ran over by a car. hes on my desk now.#anyways on the topic of g1 WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE TWO????#you ever see some shit like damn i hope you two die together#they give me secondhand cringe. head in hands i cant be near these deranged mfs#5 years ago ppl tried to pressure me away from this ship lmao#megatron#starscream#dawg im being ran through by my workload.#wanna hear another very real problem i have? so im a starscream fan since i was like 7. always a ss fan#and one time when i was a teen my mom accidentally ran over my megatron toy with her car so i begged my parents for a model kit#ss was out of stock for years so i got tc. i bought that for $24 and it was all chill#recently i was thinking i want the entire dumbass squad. all 3. i checked the price#$58??? MINIMUM???? AVG PRICE IS 70???? for HIM???#so what i need yall to do is i need a recs so i can infiltrate hasbro and character assassinate ss so bad the merch price drops back to $30#for the small cost of 20 rec letters i promise to destroy the franchise. how about it? then we can all get merch for better prices. cool!#or we can start a gofund me and raise millions so i can become an investor and tell them to lower prices from outside the club#maybe i should email the board. some shit like hey i was planning on having kids but i cant if the toys cost as much as the hospital bill#can you lower the prices so i can buy my future kids toys so i can indoctrinate them like my dad indoctrinated me to become a lifelong fan#sincerely. two generations of TF fans (your franchise isnt that old yet and i hope my kids can afford to be the third gen)
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did god still love you at the end?
second part of this which was meant to make things a bit clearer. i feel like it came out ok but it just seemed awkward with two. well take both but pretend you only saw the first one.
#my drawing#egil#xenoblade chronicles#xenoblade#meyneth#fiora#i think everything i draw is starting to be a bit Too Much. take this as a cutscene redraw if you will#like i think this is getting too into my Brain Goo#Maybe its time to take a step back or somethin#also while finishing this off i just watched a crack creep menacingly across my phone screen#also sorry for making meyneth Small. i wish i could have a little meyneth floating around and following me though#idt oomfie who's playing this for the first time follows me on here so we may be OK!
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Two unavoidable facts about the Invader Zim fandom that transcend space, time, and all evolution of the canon:
1. No one, absolutely no one here knows how tall twelve year olds are supposed to be
2. You can immediately clock someone's height range by the exact height they assign Zim
#invader zim#iz posting#natterings#every time I read a fic where Zim's taller than me but still described as relatively small#I have a instant moment of 'oh author you're over 6“0 aren't you'#no shade but it is DEEPLY funny#well maybe a little shade but only because I'm prejudiced against tall people#anyway my personal headcanon hovers around 4“8#although realistically it'd probably be in the 4“10-5”0 range if we assume the models are at all to scale#because he IS ever so slightly taller than dib to start with#however I have a pathological need for zim to be as gremlin-sized as possible#so im willing to fudge the facts
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I want you to tell ‘em that you love the way that they don’t stick out like sore middle fingers
[Continuation of this]
#TMNT 2012#casey jones 2012#raphael hamato#rasey#this is platonic again but I’m not against romantic subtext or whatever#when I was in school being able to do this with your hand was super cool and I often still do it with both#but I’ve met both adults and kids who’ve never seen it before and it freaks them out ahaha#anyway I was jus thinking of hands again and this is a warm up sketch#but i do think thee two would have heart to hearts on rooftops sometimes and really open up#maybe theyre sat next to eachother and raph looks at his thigh next to Casey’s and gets self conscious#maybe one of them was hurt in a fight (probably Casey) and theyre patching eachother up and they just start exploring their differences#or maybe its something as simple as raph asking casey if he was Tarzan and the scene with the hands and Casey’s like yo we can do that#or even more childish theyre just doing it to see who’s hands bigger because Casey’s sister has been doing it a lot and its fun#because let me tell you it doesnt matter how old the kids i work with are they all love comparing my hand with theirs#but i imagine Raphs eyes for a second would give away hes upset a little cause he’s definitely the most self conscience about being a mutant#so Casey would do this and be like ahh look see we arent that different really#raph could bend his fingers to emphasise how much shorter Casey’s are#and cause would say something like these digits might be small but theyre mighty#leading to a shove or even a thumb war or something#anyway ill stop gushing i have a comission to do xxx#OH OH OH THE BITE MARK ON CASEY IS BECAUSE A MUTUAL COMMENTS ABOUT EATING MY RASEY ART SO THATS THEIR TEETH but im not naming names....
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very sad still see the saria/silence divorce headcanon still going around
have you ever tried to consider that they never dated before lone trail because it would be unrealistic with the timeline and the events and also because it would be overshadowing the actual truth of why they couldn't get along
#i'll elaborate#firstly it's ok if you headcanon this i don't want to invalidate what people think#it's just that I think it's a fanon joke that have been going around for way too long#and I can't help but shed a small tear when I see people really headcanoning it#I personally think it's way more interesting if we consider that they never had something going on before Lone Trail#mostly because it's weird that they started dating in like some months when they barely knew or saw each other#but also because it adds nothing but just makes things even more harder for them#my personal headcanon is that Silence was maybe having feelings for Saria but like#you know these very premature feelings#like just “oh wow she's pretty and nice”#but nothing like really deep#but they never had anything going on before the diabolic crisis#and after lone trail after they made up and saw each other's true person#they start to actually get real feelings#I'm just complaining but I've been still seeing it around somehow and it's sad to me that this joke became a fact for many people#there's still a lot of fanfics about how they had been dating and now they're on bad terms#I think that going on the “they're exes” route is way too easy and actually hides the potential and interesting reason#of why Silence was mad at Saria#it's not because she hates Saria or blame her#it's because she's mad at herself for being so weak#really making them appear as exes just hides this really interesting truth and makes it all seem to be a sad love story#consider that they never had any of this and that this tension between them is because they blame themselves!!#their story is not a love story but above all a story about self love and acceptance#just my two cents enjoy my rambling i go back to bed now#(not putting this in the main tag I don't want to start a war I'm just rambling)
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Bottom yakumo fics i rotate thru bc the tag is playing games with me
EIDEN:
(Sequel) "Another Spicy Study Session on Self-Pleasure" by MistressVanya https://archiveofourown.org/works/49270402
"plants should stay in your soup and out of your sex life" by acynthe (locked) https://archiveofourown.org/works/37453975
"surprises" by Anonymous (locked) https://archiveofourown.org/works/48090496
"Pulp Fiction" Chapter 2 by shamelesscooper https://archiveofourown.org/works/60033721/chapters/154533019
KUYA (some dubcon+yaku whump):
ASTER:
QUINCY:
"What Happens in the Woods" by melecs https://archiveofourown.org/works/44134458
"Embers are calling" by Yuuda-cchi (VioletStripes) https://archiveofourown.org/works/49222882
"As I Am, Entirely" by zerenovation https://archiveofourown.org/works/54831790
EDMOND:
"Of Love Confessions and a Horny Snake" by goldgalaxytea https://archiveofourown.org/works/52916077
NOT EXPLICITLY BOTTOM, BUT IT'S NOT... *NOT* BOTTOM (SUBBY +5000pts)
"Magic 101: Lessons in Gem-based Erogenous Zones" by auriadne https://archiveofourown.org/works/37413112
"Day 6: Dom & Sub" by Nya (Yuutfa) (locked) https://archiveofourown.org/works/49106176
"Trick-or-Treat" - Chapter 3 by SnowRelic https://archiveofourown.org/works/50601046/chapters/128881948#workskin
"in good taste" by winterdesu https://archiveofourown.org/works/59208052
#eehehehehe sometimes i just get into moods where bottom yakumo is where it's at#like. specifically bottom yakumo. and/or EXCEPTIONALLY subby yakumo.#no twisting the game to overpowering his partner at the end. that's the bott-to-top yakumo pipeline that fits a DIFFERENT specific mood! :}#eventually i'll exit the bottom mood and dive into topyaku fic and we continue the cycle anew#because... ultimately..... switch yaku is my everything (my agenda and preferences are visible from outer space)#anyway yeah this stuff is all on the hornier side. there are bottom yaku fics that i like that are more plot and char-heavy#but this is the list for when i wanna see him whimpering and begging and crying etc etc you know the post i'm talking about#i started compiling this list because i tried filtering for bottom yakumo and got like. 8 fics#i whispered... i've been living off 8 fics ? Only? i mean that's a lot given how small the fandom is but i feel like i'm missing some#anyway there ended up being more than 8 (that i would reread) so i was quite content with my findings#maybe i'll update it if i see more. hmm. i hope i'll see more#bottom yakumo reading list#i am reading words and acting in ways#nu carnival yakumo
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Telling content creators it's wrong to explore artistic freedom and be independently funded by fans, and they should instead continue taking advertisement revenue from google* is
NOT
the anti-capitalism stance actually.
*(Yes, google owns youtube.)
#Watcher#This post is specifically and exclusively about the people who seem to have the capitalism bit wrong#It's almost fascinating how no one is hearing themselves speak#I feel like some of you don't understand WHY we support small businesses and are anti-monopoly#I've seen multiple posts saying “Shane is so anti-capitalism there's no way this was his idea.”#So... you think it's pro-capitalism to start your own business instead of relying on pennies from the exploitative mega-corporation?#Guys... we support small businesses KNOWING it will cost the consumer more#Stop thinking you're entitled to someone's product#That's what got us in this mess#I understand $6 is a lot for many many people but that is what makes certain things a luxury#Nothing used to be this way#Nothing used to be “free” so you can be monitored for your viewing habits and sold to advertisers#If you see a little guy trying to leave youtube/google and you paint them as the capitalist??? You. have. taken. a. wrong. turn.#I don't know how many more ways I can say it#It is better to support someone (if you can) than to pressure them into taking money from the trillion-dollar corporation#so that you can have what they put all their blood/sweat/tears into for free#If you want something badly enough you're going to have to pay for it#Them's the breaks#If you don't want it that badly then maybe it didn't mean enough to you personally#Thinking otherwise is how corporations like youtube take over and squeeze out small competitors#btw on monopolies: having almost every single video content creator (outside of tiktoks and video game streams) on youtube is BAD#You understand that's bad yes?#How tf are we going to diversify unless SOME CREATORS leave youtube???#It's almost the responsibility of larger creators to do so#Ironically what I said is backwards#In its ideal state‚ capitalism is supposed to inspire innovation and new business‚ giving every person a chance to succeed#But I think we all know that's not the reality we're experiencing#I just went with what everyone means when they say it
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sometimes i get nishiki i really do
#snap chats#like from an outsider perspective it is utterly hilarious watching everything go wrong for him#BUT GIRL NOT ME STOP HAVING THIGNS GO WRONG FOR MEEEEEE WHAT IS ALL THIS#this month its actually one thing after another if i start wearing white everyone needs to be concerned#you guys remember my bullshit roommates yeah well TLDR im getting fined for their messes im going to SCREAM#I HATE IT HEERRRREEE I KNOW IM EVIL BUT CMON#literally had such a silly night last night and now everything sucks again is this life is this what life is#its not its not what life is im just hearing my mom bitching in the other room and im letting her vibes ruin mine#everything going to be ok this is just a hiccup .... a small pinprick in the tapestry of life ....#i am incredibly annoyed though cause this is one of those situations where youve done nothing wrong but youre being shot for it#its just unfair but whatever we ball ..... im putting the hair gel away guys im not slicking my hair back just yet ....#i got a new friend last night so maybe ill just hang with them later and ill remember life is beautiful ..#heh ... jk ... i can remind myself life is beautiful right now ... im gonna go eat some tiramisu ...#jesus christ i really do love italian food what the fuck. pasta / calamari / tiramisu#i dont think calamari is italian but i got it from an italian place w/e we get the picture#its not my fault that italy has good food ... i would just never go there .....#ok bye ima go eat and drink water now. water will remind me how beautiful life is ...
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Character reference sheets and two frames from the animatic! :3
#work in progress#sketches#my art#a#qsmp chayanne#missasinfonia#qsmp#have drawn this kind of sketchy bits for like... maybe three scenes so far? like most of the frames for three scenes I mean#there's at least 20 scenes with their own moving bits and stuff so that'll be fun#but this is a nice start! and I really like the song and I like looking at my sillies so it's nice to draw too :)#started going crazy a bit after like two hours of drawing so I'm stopping for now and will continue next week again. Hopefully get another-#-- scene properly sketched out then#In other news I completed a small section (like less than a quarter of a page long) of my thesis and oh the feeling of accomplishment!!#it was a daunting part because I didn't know how to write it out but I did it!! Finally!!#and also had some trouble with translating my thoughts to english so I asked my mom for help and we brainstormed it :D#she's a great help with language stuff; both bc she's like generally good at english and also she's not dyslexic like me so that helps :D
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"student life" this "student life" that. girl I haven't been to a club in a year. haven't spoken to another student for longer than 10 minutes since the beginning of uni. haven't made plans with ABSOLUTELY ANYONE. everyone seems to get on well with each other and hang out together and everything and I have only spoken to 3 of my classmates in total. I'm living in my childhood home with my mom. thank you but I think I'll skip this "student life"
#i long to have an 8h workday and an apartment of my own. however small#and stop with all the studying amd exams and everything. i want to get home however late and not study. just watch a movie or read a book o#sth but i NEED to be free after let's say 7pm. just the workday ends and there is no more work. please. PLEASE#please let me escape this “student life” thank you#ramble tag#sorry for the vent i'm growing desperate#only just started and the thought of having to live this way in the span of 4 years is driving me insane🥰 i will work all day if i want to#also my mom's and dad's rants about our finances is infuriating... like cool get you but have you considered that 1) i want to help. maybe#let me? 2)my uni fee is actually incredibly low. i can pay it 6x working only 4h a day why do you have to talk about it all the time#“noo you shouldnt or we wont be able to pay the money for your education!!” girl i can pay it all in 3 months. fuck off#sorry for being so angry but what do they think they're doing?? do they assume i can't count???#anyway bye
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Im 👀 at your Mondstadt having an underground area and I just want to bring up this idea in a fanfic I read (Windwheel Aster: Adored by the wind) where Mondstadt has secret underground passageway between them and Liyue for emergency use. Now im combining those ideas in my head of underground passageways beneath Old Mondstadt. Like some sort of dark souls crypt for those who perished (since its Really Hard to do a burial in the snow). You know how the wind brings Mondstadter's souldls home? Yeah what if thats not just a Venti thing but also existed during the time of Decarabian. (I can tie this into Istaroth but thats a whole nother paragraph)
DON't MIND ME HAVING SpeNT most of hte day reading that fic ahem
Crypts under Mondstadt...oh I love that idea it fits in mood-wise with the Actual Dead Guy under the statue, giving Mondstadt and ameno all the more ties to death and souls and imprisonment + yeah how do you deal with bodies when the ground is frozen hard and the city is micromanaged by the god. Why, if the bodies are getting in the way, why not remove them, help the souls pass on, and place the bodies neat and orderly filed away. Away from the people so they can focus on life instead of death, but each passed person can still be easily found in case they're needed. Besides, crypts are often under a church and Mondstadt is the nation most known for having a church....maybe not under Mondstadt's currentday church, but the people did use to 'bow' around the tall tower which houses a god....
But also........those Istaroth ties? 👀👀👀
#decarabiandivorce#@ hoyo pls insert a crypt under decarabian's tower now actually i want this plsplsplsplsplspls#ya know we get a lot about liyue's funeral practices. but I wanna know modnstadt's funeral practices#i dunno most of the other nations strike me as relatively constant? They've carried the same vibes before their archon became their archon#but mondstadt's past vs present seems so different#i see their funeral practices changing a ton between decarabian's rule and venti's era#decarabian strikes me as someone who wouldn't Get the human side of grief and moving on#and someone to do what needs to be done. methodolgically. organizes the information and remains. moves on#and expects the humans to move on too. death is a part of life and that's it#meanwhile venti's rule was born from the god taking on the form of a dead friend. very emotional response to death#and that's how the era started#a lot of people are dead and the new god is also grieving and they are now allowed to process the death#the ground is now soft enough to bury the bodies#i have a headcanon about the bard being seen less as a leader as the rebellion and more as a representative of the common person#and the idea of this common person who fell with the tower — reflected by all the other people who fell — being honored by the new god#i wonder how many people knew that venti took the form of his friend. seems like it would be decently common knowledge at the time#maybe he started a tradition of carrying a small reminant of someone close who passes as a method of honor and morning#genshin talk
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Atla live action 😐
#thats my honest reaction 😐#to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid#like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat#or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already#good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive#to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil#i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better#but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because#it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak#and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but#come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and#makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality#i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was#IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys'#and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall#AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think#plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS#a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason#im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your#audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small#thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small#its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers#i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang#anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and#rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz#netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub#no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same#ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me#i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing#yapping
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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OK I swear the reason I'm showing you this will have context in a couple days! But also, the fact B&N has a section dedicated to "well he may be a ten buuuuut" and included my current crime of "he's blonde" is like. Dang. Called out.
Didn't help I saw this with a guy and I said "oh no, my blonde enjoyer crimes called out!" and he said "better than redheads" and I'm like. "Sir, I have to inform you of my previous crime." and he was not pleased as he said "Fish... why....."
#moe talks a lot#not art#this will be much more relevant to my art in a couple days but just know#that ive had a field day staring at these and noticing unintentional bullshit#such as ! note how they are all kinda average writing size OR p big except for the tail one#which is kinda small and i feel like the person who wrote it is like this is the opposite of a '10 but -' ... thats a plus...#but then you also have all of them starting off lower case EXCEPT He's a man-child#oh absolutely gotta cater to the man-childs esteem and capitalize that one#this might be incredibly funny to me but i am not letting it be rebloggable im so sorry#also i like how he calls me fish in public bc despite having known me since 4th grade#he got in the habit during our ffxiv days during skype calls with someone in another state#so instead of using my in game name of Tuna vs my actual skype name Salmon#hes like fuck it we ball with just Fish#so i am fish to him and it carries over irl when we hang out which is rare but still#this is the same guy who was on the phone with his wife while we were wandering around and he just#watches me walk off with a very serious determination and i hear him say#hold on babe fish just walked over to a makeup store and is staring#so he walks over and asks me whats up and i point to a shelf and say dude#and he looks where im pointing and asks his wife#hey honey do you want main character energy? fish found some lipstick for that#and i hear her over the phone saying what very flatly#and he had to explain that there was a shelf advertising main character energy in sephora#his wife said no which is fair (they were also closed lol)#also the same guy i beat up on accident who lied to his football coach about why he had such fucked up shins#bc he knew his coach liked me as a very kind and quiet and obedient student#and my buddy was like i cant tell him you kicked me so much i bled...#and i just ????????????? hey what you never mentioned bleeding to me? dude? you KEPT MAKING SHORT JOKES#KNOWING ID KICK YOU IN THE SHINS? you never thought to say maybe stop that or maybe just stop picking on me#anyway yeah this guy and i have been through some weird times and most of them are my fault
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