#so many times people are like ‘ugh! if this character had only realized [x] then this all could have been avoided!’

[starbuck]

as fun as it is to study characters under a microscope and figure out every little thing that’s wrong with them and why, i appreciate media where characters are like 30% self-aware at best and getting to that point costs them EVERYTHING.

[thequeenofthedisneyverse]

can we have villain kenji dating headcanons please😞🙏

Oh boy...well, I can try

Villain! Kenji x Fem reader

Mentions of blood, fighting (not with you), and death/character death (not you), you being morally grey...and Kenji being a simp.

He's a complete sweetheart to you and WORSHIPS the ground you walk on. Ever heard of a feminist nut-case? It's him. He respects you wholeheartedly and sees you for you because his mama raised him right.

Super gentle and a soft-talker with you. You're...actually the ONLY person he's like this around. To everyone else, arrogant prick x10 on a regular basis.

He likes to cuddle you after a long day and whisper sweet-nothings into your ear. "I missed you so much" "I love you so much, baby" "stay with me, please" cue the cutest goo goo eyes you've ever seen. How could you say no to him?

This man doesn't know when to stop gifting so whenever he even THINKS about something you would like you better prepare for there to be a box of whatever product it is on your doorstep.

Gamer girl? New gaming equipment in your favorite color. Book girl? New books on your doorstep. Baker, artist, crafter? All of it on your doorstep.

You ask for something? Consider it done. You LOOK at something in the mall? It's yours.

If he thinks a certain outfit would look good on you or he finds a certain candy, you like? All yours...just please don't leave him.

Ken lets you ride on his motorcycle from time to time. He prefers you in the back with your arms wrapped around him because it's a comforting feeling, not to mention safe. But if you want, he'll let you sit in the front but it's rare.

A guy cat-called you once while Kenji was there with you. Yeah uh...that guy was sent to the hospital. It was the first time you've ever seen him so...angry. You've heard rumors of Kenji's temper but seeing as he was so sweet to you, you just thought the rumors were just...rumors.

That was until you literally had to pull him off the guy so he wouldn't kill him. Seriously, he was strangling him after punching him in the face 10 times.

It was...kind of hot to be fair.

Kenji's hair was disheveled, his nose bleeding, and a fiery look in his eyes. And you found his act of rage a little sweet. If he was willing to strangle a guy for just catcalling you, what would he do if a guy touched you?

You then realized you found a good guy who's willing to stand up for you! Albeit a bit crazy, but still a good guy.

After his anger went away, the soft side of him came back and apologized to you profusely.

"I- I'm so sorry baby, p- please don't leave! Y- You were never supposed to see that side of me, shit! I'm a good guy I promise I am! He...he just, he deserved it! He shouldn't have been talking to you like that! You're a princess to me baby, a queen! And you deserve to be treated like one...please don't leave me..."

He meant every word of it girl...every. last. word. Especially the "don't leave me" parts.

Before you came along, Kenji was alone. So utterly alone. His beloved mother was dead. His father....ugh (don't even get him started on that). No friends or relatives to talk to or come by. One-night stands didn't do anything except a couple seconds of bliss.

So, like I said, so completely and utterly alone.

But when you came along...you changed that. An angel from the heavens that chose him to spend their time with.

This man would let the world burn if it meant to save your life. He doesn't like people very much anyway.

He introduced you to Lillith, his black IBM female boa. Let's pretend you like snakes.

Snake ahead, TRIGGER WARNING

You find her absolutely adorable and sweet. She likes you a lot too! You let her hang around your neck or arm when Kenji brings her too your dates or when you hang out at his house.

Kenji loves that his two favorite girls are getting along. He has many pictures of you two chilling in his phone and looks at them from time to time to actually feel something other than anger or nothing while he's out.

You brought back a light in him that he thought had died a long time ago. A reason to live...well, apart from baseball, killing Kaiju's, and ruining his father's legacy of course.

Fancy dining places are a must. You can't blame the man for want to wine and dine you...and showing you off to the press a little bit.

Hmmm...you found it odd that the guy that cat-called you hasn't pressed charges or uttered a peep about what ken did to him. You understood why the news hadn't caught footage of the incident tho.

It happened late at night when you and Kenji were coming out of a bar. It had been raining that night and most of the lights went out due to the water getting to the electricity.

So, it would be hard for the cameras to pick up faces very well due to the darkness and most of them circuiting out too.

But it was so strange...nothing from him.

You got your answer when you turned the news on though.

The guy that cat-called you was found dead in a trash bin next to the EXACT same bar you had your date with Kenji. Ishima Agama was his name.

He seemed to have suffered horrible lacerations, burns, severed limbs, and much other nasty things.

His death...didn't bother you though. You figured Kenji must've done it. I mean...who else would've done it? It only happened two weeks after Kenji pummeled him, and it was in the exact same place it beat his ass.

You always trusted your gut and your gut says it's Kenji. But instead of seeing this as a red flag, you saw it as a green one!

He killed for you just because of a cat-calling degenerate. That's the nicest thing a guy has ever done for you!

After dating for about a year or so, he told you that he was Ultraman! Which...is the coolest freaking thing ever!

He saved Japan from Kaiju's countless of times! So, what if his methods were a little violent? The Kaiju's were too. That's how violent animals were supposed to be treated right? Either with sedatives or brute force.

He was so confused as to why you were so cool with it but as you explained your reasons...he knew you were a keeper.

After that little adventure he introduced you to the idea of Kaiju meat. Something Kenji has tailored to him and a few other rich people (let's pretend Kaiju's don't have radiation). Turns out the KDF also sells a few cutlets of meat to a few rich folks who want a taste of a rare "delicacy" meat.

It's actually quite good when it's cooked and served right, better that wagyu.

Sooo, yeah, you two lovebirds get along great!

His anger issues, arrogance, or murderous tendencies to affect you because you love him for who he is...and for the fact that he never acts that way toward you.

That's all I've got, if you guys want anything more specific, lmk!

[urlocaldesertdweller]

Venture X GN! (Dyslexic) Reader

WOWIE! im celebrating 250 likes with another fic for u lovely people!!! (this is for every spelling and grammar mistake I make with nearly every post :,))

Sloan would either be surprised to find out that you were dyslexic or they would see it from a mile away, it would mainly depend on how severe your symptoms are and how common they are whenever you are interacting with Sloan!

They would definitely think it's odd at first with how many mistakes you would make if the two of you were making casual conversations. But soon enough they would see more signs.

-I just drank some inspired milk

-...Was it inspiring.?

If you were assigned to read some mission logs for the team you would either slow down or speed up and stumble over words until it's nothing but gibberish...

Even if you were told to charge in a certain direction you would have to stop for a moment to either think or even do the hand check with the left making the L... (they thinks its kinda cute but the situation and urgency will vary of course)

Returning to base they realized that they had never seen your hand writing. And if they were to look back into documents where you had to fill out information. They would keep a secret of how awful and messy your writing is, of course, they also think it only adds to your character!!

Eventually, they find the time to ask if you have Dyslexia, you most likely were probably not diagnosed with the confusion on your face when they ask. So they would have to be the one to tell you and ask to get diagnosed. When they tell you it honestly adds relief since you always felt less smart for the longest of times it became a bit of an insecurity of yours.

Shortly after being tested, you were soon confirmed and officially diagnosed with dyslexia. Considering Overwatch's form of work, you didn't really feel all that worried other than getting embarrassed from time to time when you have those moments of your condition hitting during work hours...

But be afraid not! Sloan is there to support and be there for you!!!! When you were finally diagnosed they felt a weight being lifted off of their shoulders with seeing you finally understand these odd and frustrating moments in your life.

You know that some heroes will have certain voice lines after respawning.? Yeah, you fumble even those too. And when Sloan is there they can't help but correct you which ends in a small cute moment between you two!

"Well if they are going to play dirty, then I'm just going have to play dirtierer!"

"...Baby. It's just "dirtier"."

"..."

"Well, I'm just going to have to play dirtier!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ugh my head throbs after that one..."

"More than you having to read mission logs out loud.?"

"...Shut your fat mouth."

Or even during your free time when you spend time together Sloan cant help by being fascinated by when you forget certain words and you think of something on the spot to replace that word.

"Sloan I found this really cool shirt do you know where the...um the..."

"The what.?"

"Yknow! Um...damn.. The wear station!! You know what im talking about!"

"Pft-! You mean the trying rooms.?!"

"YES!!! That's exactly what I mean Sloan! ...Stop laughing!!!"

"Oh god..! But wear station...you said wear station!"

Throughout time they watch you grow into a happier and more confident person! Even after you make some of the biggest mistakes you can walk it off and stay on track.! This is what they love and admire about you. Not with how special or different you are but with how strong you have proven to be!

In time they even get to see you write more in your messy but unique style...even if it's unreachable to most it makes them feel full of happiness for you being able to stretch out of your own comfort zone.

Of course, there are still some silly moments on the occasion. Imagine you are training your arm strength with pull ups this happens...

"Hows my form.?"

"It looks good! ...Actually can you move your left hand to the side.?"

Then for a moment, you dont remember and what you thought was the smartest idea to check was the L hand check. Then you let go falling to the ground as you do the check as Sloan panics to reach out and grab you, which they do for you. <3

"WOAH! Woah woah what are you doing?!"

They are at first pissed at why you suddenly let go but when you explain what you were doing their face soften and they break in laughter making you realize and also laugh with them.

Or when for some reason someone puts you of all people in charge of right the documents for a mission... Sloan being your grace helps you spell check it it isn't long to find the first mistake.

"Mission log... "Ligahn" tower."

"..."

"..."

"Sweetie, who made you do this.?"

"...Santa, I MEAN SATAN! Whoever made me do this is literal Satan."

"...I love you so much."

[hyunnieshannie]

Boundless

Series: Boundless

Word Count: 2,832

Pairing: Hyunjin x Female Reader

Genre/Warnings: Fantasy AU, Non Idol Au, harsh words (swearing) Dom!Hyunjin, degradation, mentions of anxiety, sex as a dare, self esteem issues, mentions names of other idols. (Anything else I have missed just let me know and will be added in, more warnings will be added with each chapter update)

A/N: this is my first attempt at writing a proper fic with smut included. I hope you enjoy🖤

PREVIOUS MASTER LIST NEXT

~Prologue~

The world can be so beautiful. Simple things like the changing of the seasons, to the way the clouds look on a particularly sunny day, how the flowers bloom vibrantly after a beautiful white winter. But the key word for you, was can. To you the world was dull and these days seemed more dull than ever. You had been trapped in your home for two years, during the pandemic and now that it’s finally over the world felt as if it had only gotten worse. People had forgotten how to properly socialize without staring deep into their phones, and due to this people had forgotten what basic human decency was. All your life you had felt the overbearing negativity of this world. Elementary school was certainly the easiest. You had a small group of friends which you played with everyday, but when middle school hit; one by one those friends disappeared. And by the time you were in highschool you had learned that you didn’t need a big group of people around you. You were much more interested in reading, and focusing on yourself and so that's exactly what you did. You had friends in highschool, but not ones you considered close. And as they say, people come and go. This was life. Now that you’ve been accepted to your choice college, you figured maybe this could be a new start, a new school in a new state. Living on your own (with a roommate) of course on campus. Maybe you could reinvent yourself. But in a world of impossible beauty standards and expectations of how to act and be noticed, your attempts to fit in never worked out. Because you are no supermodel, or an extraordinarily social person, you are unbelievably. Ordinary. 

Your roommate would often spend nights away from the dorm, and you found yourself feeling more homesick with each passing day. You didn’t make many friends, as your anxiety would get in the way of talking to new people. You got lonely very quickly, and thus drew back to your favorite form of comfort. Reading. People suck, and often never offer the same type of comfort a good book would. You read anything that caught your eye with a good plot, sci-fi, fantasy, historical fiction, even the occasional romance. You got attached to characters, laughed with them, cried with them and grew with them. And that was more than what you could say for the so called ‘friends’ you had made throughout your life. “Ah he’s such a red flag!” you mutter to yourself, as you sat cozily in your dorm room. “He's just going to hurt you, walk away! Go to Wooyoung! He loves you!” you turn the page eager to read the next chapter, but unfortunately for you, your timer goes off notifying you, it was time to start walking over to your class. You picked yourself up and groaned, disappointed you couldn't continue the next chapter, where the characters would definitely fight for the main protagonist's hand in marriage. You wanted to know if she’d really choose Yeonjun the (in your opinion) selfish prince over Wooyoung, the (in your very biased opinion) wonderful bookkeeper. “Ugh, fuck it” you say as you snatch the book from off your bed, opening it up to where you left off, reading as you walked to class. “I hate to admit it Tzuyu, Yeonjun isn’t that bad,” you say as you flip the page, “But the cute bookkeeper treated you better”. You didn't realize you were speaking aloud until someone behind you whispered to their friend. 

“How strange.” she giggled, 

“See this is why I don’t go back to my dorm often,” the other whispers back, maybe they didn’t know you could hear them, or maybe they intended for you to hear them but still it stung to know they were there literally talking behind your back. The two girls pick up their pace and walk past you laughing as they do. You look to your roommate, who ignores you. You were used to this. Either you were ignored like some sort of ghost that no one noticed. Or they spoke about you with little regard towards your feelings. It didn’t bother you as much as it used to throughout highschool but now you’d have to deal with occasionally seeing your roommate in the dorm knowing how she actually felt about you. 

“Ignore them,” a voice sounds from behind you, you look up to see Changbin walking towards you, “They’re just bitchess with nothing better to do,” he smiles warmly at you, Changbin was someone you met your first year of college during orientation. He was a well built man, with incredibly gorgeous features. Toned muscles from going to the gym often and a beautiful smile. How can anyone be so incredibly good looking you thought to yourself, “So Y/N, are you going to the party tonight?” your heart races as he says your name, you didn’t even know that he knew it. You’ve barely spoken to him, only in passing during class. But that didn’t stop you from having the biggest crush on him. You often wondered what it would be like to have him pick you up and pin you against the wall as he kissed you harshly, a curiosity you would never satisfy. 

“Party?” you say, 

“The one Jisungs throwing.” he smiles, 

“Oh,” you hadn’t been invited but you didn’t want to admit that to him, “No, I have to study for a test.” you force a weak smile at him, 

“Oh come on Y/N come it’ll be fun, I haven’t seen you at any of the other parties so you have to come to this one.” Did he have to make that comment? Of course you hadn’t gone to the others, how could you go somewhere when you weren’t even invited?

“I don’t really like big crowds of people, and I don’t have anyone to go with on such short notice.”  

“You don’t need a date for a party you know?” 

“I don’t know a lot of people, the way you and Jisung do. It’s not really about a date, it’s more less wanting someone familiar with me so I don’t get nervous” you laugh, the two of you continue walking towards the lecture hall with an awkward silence, you sneak a look at Changbin who looks like he’s in deep thought. 

“Okay I got it then!” He says as the two of you walk into the building, Jisung who stood waiting by a vending machine yells for Changbin's attention and he waves to him, then looks back at you “So” you look up at him confused, “you’d go if someone you knew would be there right?” he asks, you nod in response, “Perfect, I’ll pick you up at seven.” he smiles, but before you could tell him that wasn’t what you meant he waves back to you as he runs off to catch up with Jisung and his other friends he turns back to you, and yells “Seven be outside your dorm!” you nod. Changbin invited me to a party, you think to yourself, your heart fluttering. Your crush wanted you to go so badly, he offered to be your date. You smile at the thought.

After popping out of the shower, you carefully do your makeup, and pick out a short black dress from your closet. And once you’re ready you head downstairs to wait for Changbin. As you walk out the doors you see he’s already standing there looking at his phone, he looks back up when he hears you approach him. “Damn Y/N I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in anything other than jeans and a hoodie.” he smiles, 

“Is that a good or bad thing?” 

“Well you look good in your hoodies, but you look good like this too, I could get used to it,” he smirks, your heart pounding. He thinks I look good in my usual outfits.. Does that mean he’s looked at you the way you have him? The two of you leave walking off campus and towards Jisungs home which was fairly close. The music booms through speakers, and large crowds of  people who are already visibly drunk dance and talk all around. Changbin guides you through the doors and greets everyone who comes up to him. He doesn’t leave your side until he offers to get you a drink. 

“Y/N?” Jisung says as he walks up to you, “No way Bin actually got you to come!” he says, “You look hot, didn't expect that out of you” he laughs, 

“Thanks?” you say questioning what he meant by that, 

“Fuck off Jisung,” Changbin says as he returns with two drinks, 

“Oh come on I’m just fucking around,” Jisung laughs, as Changbin hands you your drink, “anyways Y/N I need to borrow Bin, I gotta talk to him about this thing we had planned.” he smiles at you cheerfully as he grabs Changbins arm and drags him away. Half an hour passes and Changbin hasn’t returned. Your anxiety begins to get to you as you stand alone in a room full of people. You make your way to the kitchen and stop when you hear a familiar voice, “If you can’t do it Bin you lose the bet, and you know what that means bro” Jisung laughs, 

“The girls never been to a party Ji” Changbin sighs, “It took me giving her no option to come how the fuck am I gonna get her to-” 

“She's probably drunk by now, little miss bookworm probably hasn’t ever drank either so it should be easy,” a girl laughs, 

“Nah thats fucked up if shes drunk im not going through with it,” Changbin says, staringcoldly at the girl,

“Awe don’t tell me you’re starting to rethink the dare Binnie” your roommates voice sounds from another area in the kitchen that you can’t see. 

“I’m not rethinking shit, I’m just not gonna fucking do it if shes drunk. Thats beyond fucked up” 

“I agree with Bin, if she's drunk that's not cool.” Jisung says with a serious face. 

“It’s a little late for fucked up dont you think? You accepted a dare to literally fuck the loser on campus for a measly fifty bucks. Whats fucked up is how far your rep is gonna drop when people find out” the girl laughs, your heart stings hearing her words. He was dared to fuck you. 

“Common Binnie it’s easy poor girls got it bad for you, she’d probably jump at the chance, think of how funny it would be” Because of course how funny would it be if the boy the loser has a crush on fucks her for a dare, wow what a great joke. With that Changbin notices you standing there, you’ve heard everything. You turn around and walk straight out of the party, your chest stings, and tears stream down your cheek. Because who was I to think he’d actually be interested in me. He chases you down the street as you continue to walk faster, wanting nothing more than to get away from him, 

“Y/N! Wait” he yells out, as he grabs onto your wrist, 

“Get away from me.” you hiss, your face heating up with anger and hurt, 

“Y/N please let me explain,” you jerk your hand away from him, he looks hurt and confused by your action how fucking dare he look at me like that. Did he think because you had a crush on him you’d melt to his touch? That you’d let him explain his stupid fucking dare? No.

“Seo Changbin, don’t you ever come near me again,” you turn around walking away from him, you walk back towards your dorm, in tears. Everything that happened tonight was straight out of a drama and you couldn’t believe these things actually happened in real life. As you walk back on to campus you see the light from the library still on, the one place you know you can find exactly what you need. Comfort. You make your way inside where the librarian sits peacefully reading a book, 

“Y/N!” he yells, knowing the library is currently empty, 

“What are you doing here so late Mr. Lee?” 

“I was going to ask you the same question, miss Y/LN, is everything alright?” he asks, 

“Just a bit of heartbreak,” you whisper, his face showing signs of concern, “That book you gave me really tore me apart you know!” you force a laugh, you really weren't ready to explain this situation to anyone let alone, the only person who ever spoke to you as an equal. 

“Oh!” he laughs, “I had the same reaction! Well I’m glad you're here,” he says, “What kind of book are you looking for tonight?” he says, 

“Something that will take me far away from here,” you smile, 

“Well, I may be able to help with that,” he gets up and opens the door to his office, walking out with a small bag, “I was going to save this one for your birthday next week but it seems I’ve broken your heart with my last gift so consider this one to be the one that mends it” he smiles, 

“You didn’t have to mr. Lee,” you say as you take the bag from him, 

“Well I was out with one of your teachers and it caught my eye and I thought to myself, Lee Taemin if you do not bring this book back to your favorite reader you will regret it,” he laughs, “I kid you not, it called out to me as if begging me to bring it back for you” 

“Maybe it was calling out for you!” you laugh, 

“No, it was definitely calling for you,” he smiles, “Now go on, get home.” he smiles, you thank him once again for the gift and begin to leave, “Oh and Y/N” you turn back around to see what he called you for, “The boy who made you cry tonight, never deserved to be blessed with the gift of your heart. Write the story your heart deserves.” he smiles at you, like a brother trying to comfort his heartbroken younger sister. 

“Thank you,” you say weakly smiling at him as you exit the library. 

You wash the makeup off and change into a comfortable pair of leggings and a large hoodie, sliding into bed and laying down to stare at the ceiling. The events of that night are still eating away at your heart. You turn to your side and stare at the gift from Mr. Lee. you sit back up, turning the lamp on your side table on, opening the bag and staring at the large book that lay within it. The beautifully decorated leather cover that you could tell was handmade, a reddish brown with gorgeous gold details, the pages with gold trimming shone brightly under the light. It was magnificent, and by far the most beautiful book to be added to your collection. Almost like mr. Lee said, you felt a pull from it begging to be opened, to be read. It called out to you. You trace your fingers over the golden indented title, Boundless. You open the book carefully, turning the first page, from its title page, only to find it completely empty. There is no table of contents, you turn to the next page, once again empty. You flip through the whole book and there's nothing. You sit the book down, thinking of how strange it is for a book of this size to be empty, maybe it was sold by mistake? Just then the alarm on your clock on the nightstand goes off, you panic trying to shut it down. Did you accidentally set an alarm? No. You never would’ve set one for eleven pm, nor am. The light on your desk flickers and the room falls into a deep darkness, your heart begins to beat out of your chest and fear sinks in, just then the whispering starts, “Am i going crazy?” you say out loud, the whispers grow louder, and louder until light shines again, but not from your lamp, the book itself glows vibrantly illuminating the dark room around you. “Y/N…Y/N… Y/N!” the whispers chant, the book flies open landing on a page directly in the middle of the book, in a panicked state you jump off your bed wondering what could possibly be going on, but your head spins, or is the room spinning? You couldn't tell, the whispers growing into loud shouting, you drop down into a ball covering your ears, squeezing your eyes shut. You feel something pulling at you, you let out a scream as your body finally gives way and you’re being dragged back onto your bed, “Help!” was the last thing anyone would have heard coming from your dorm.

~~~~

Tags: @thvjnm @chanlixiiee @channiesbub @jaebaebaegot7 @maeleelee @iadorethemskz @maenijw @hangin-out-with-the-street-rats @jinniespuppy @painstakingly-juno @lethallyprotected @mimi-sierra04

[marengogo]

UGH!-6: But like … Did They Stutter?

Yet To Come - by BTS  [Proof]

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

…

Given that even my coworkers, who generally REALLY DON’T CARE/KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT BTS except for the ones who now have started listening to some of their songs thanks to yours truly, came to me saying “So. BTS. They are disbanding uh? …” the day after FESTA 2022 dinner, I’d say it wouldn’t be a gross generalization to assume that at least every ARMY, OT7, x/y/z-biased, solo, anti, shipper, whatever-you-prefer-to-be-called, saw FESTA 2022 dinner. Right? 

If you haven’t I’d highly recommend you to do so but as always you feel free to do you as the boys did explain everything that they could at the time, which is pretty much what is happening right now. They also made a couple of sentiments and statements clear, and I, for one, am writing this post even though I am painfully aware that the boys are never going to see it, yet I still wish to put out this message in the universe, maybe its energy will manifest and reach them somehow, as I would really like them not to think that we all have poor listening and reading comprehension. 

BTS’ CHAPTER 1: THE END OF AN ERA.

The Beatles. The Jackson 5. Menudo. New Edition. Backstreet Boys. One Direction.

According to the following Wiki definition this is what they all have in common:

A boy band is loosely defined as a vocal group consisting of young male singers, usually in their teenage years or in their twenties at the time of formation.[1] Generally, boy bands perform love songs marketed towards girls and young women. Many boy bands dance as well as sing, usually giving highly choreographed performances. South Korean boy bands usually also have designated rappers 🤡 LOL LOL LOL 🤡.

That being said, with hindsight, we can add/examine a couple of aspects, which have surfaced through the years and further represent boy bands. For example, the fact that at the very beginning boy bands were usually the union of a group of friends, or classmates, basically, people who already knew each other. Let’s fast forward a couple of decades, and we see that the music industry catches on to the fact that waiting for the next phenomenal boy band to magically appear is not sustainable and that is when they realise that they can actually make the groups themselves. So starts the scouting and the auditioning with the sole goal of slapping together supposedly talented boys who are complete strangers to one another, but who at the very least, have a desire to become rich and famous. “Win-win”. 

Moving on, around the same time, we'll have to leave the West and take a trip to East-Asia, where the boy band industry has had an even bigger eureka moment. What they’ve realized is that even though these boys may not have the affinity of a band of boys who already know each other, from a business point of view they can easily be molded into whatever it is on demand at the very moment, afterall, everybody loves a good story, and even better if it comes with a great soundtrack. So what better than creating a narrative for these boy bands, each member would have a role/character associated and fans can not only enjoy the music but also follow a sort of “storyline” as they watch for example the silent masculine strong member interact with the cute feminine talkative one. Even greater “win”, brr brr!.

Now, in an ideal world, all that reasoning would make sense and bring about endless profit, but we don’t live in such a place do we? The whole purpose of a business is to make money and if money is what you base your every decision on, sooner or later, you are bound to encounter problems that money can’t solve without changing things irreversibly and in most instances, for the worst. The thing about grouping ambitious strangers with the intent of becoming rich (usually more for the company) and famous (usually more for the artists) is that if you don’t have a common goal all you are essentially doing is building a glorified House of Cards. 

And don’t get me wrong, Longevity, is something that this type of companies, and the artists themselves, could only dream to achieve but never actually aim at. Nobody does, because it is very much a pipe dream type of thing. In fact, for the most part, the company's goal is it to at least have one amazing CD, make fans go crazy for a year or two, so that they can spend some money, and then if it doesn’t work anymore, the artist would hope to have garnered enough fame to allow them to start perhaps a solo career, or at least stay within the business, while the group inevitably disbands and the company moves on to the next group. Rinse and repeat ad infinitum. This has been the blueprint, and it was indeed the same blueprint used to form Bangtan Sonyeondan. 

It was the same blueprint, but Bang SiHyuk was a visionary that had goals of his own, with a knack for unusual experimentation 🤡. And exactly like a Mad Scientist, if you will, he played around with what he believed to be “slightly usual ingredients”. However, what he didn’t quite know at the time, was that these “ingredients” were actually very unusual. Some of the “ingredients” didn’t follow instructions, some very quickly dropped their assigned character, and some even had secret jobs but what they all had, and he probably didn’t account for or maybe he did, who knows right? was an extraordinary fighting spirit, which pulled up strong when it became clear that it was Bangtan vs the World. These boys had something to prove. They had somehow found their common goal.

As we all should know, early Bangtan, due to Big Hit's lack of reputation and funds, became the industry’s punching bag. This would have normally caused an “explosion in the lab”, instead, it created something new. The boys were fired up with this fiery will to fight back. They took the negativity and turned it into artistic fuel and did all of that while naturally learning about each other and consequently depending on each other solely. Somehow, these boys ended up actually liking each other. They kinda fought like members of a band made of family members, but had the passion of members of a band of strangers. They were an anomaly. 

An anomaly in a world that had rapidly become full of “anomalies”. Your everyday listener was, yes, looking for good music, yes, looking for something new and entertaining, but when they realised that they could also get someone who they could relate to; … 🤯🤯🤯. And so the “ingredients'' began to mutate. Along the way, they found their true calling, while adapting to their environment and understanding their receptors fandom, which also understood them in return, creating a never before seen bond, Tannies & ARMY, that brought them to where they are now; a world where THEY are the blueprint has anyone else noticed the number of boy/girl bands that got back together. 

These boys have created something unique. 

Something that other “Mad Scientists” have ever since been trying so hard to recreate in “their labs” and so far to no avail. This “something” is not only insanely lucrative, but also so emotionally rare, and has a chance at Longevity. These are boys who trust and genuinely love each other, but because they are also human, and have learned to be honest with themselves, they also know their limitations. And like they’ve always done, they sat down, exposed the problem, and tried to find a solution. And even though they didn’t have to, they also sat down with us, FESTA 2022 dinner, and quite clearly explained their solution. But, as always, the world managed to take their words and turn them into whatever sold better on the front page of the next morning paper we’ll get to that later on or/and whatever better fits their personal agendas. 

BTS’ CHAPTER 2: A LIMITED AMOUNT OF TIME, WITH AN UNLIMITED NUMBER OF POSSIBILITIES.

Have any of you experienced moments where you just wanted some time to yourself? Like, you love your friends, your family, your job, your everything, but at the same time, you are mentally exhausted and you need out for as long as you can afford? This is usually what most people use holidays for, you might be thinking. But the type of out I’m talking about is the kind where you want to be able to pause your present life, start another life for a while, and then go back to your past life kinda out. Basically, a “have your cake and eat it” type of out. 

That’s what I feel the boys are trying to experience and I ain’t mad at it, not one bit. Cause, let's be real, most of us regular people can’t really afford to even think of experiencing such a thing without MAJOR repercussions to our everyday life. But not only do I feel like they deserve it, but if it also allows them to reach their goals, and solve their problems, it would be like killing two birds with one stone. I mean, they really are not hurting anyone, by wanting to have a chance to experience life outside BTS other than those who are setting themselves up to be hurt that is 🤡.  

October 2022 rolled around and we got the following:

This theoretically gives a precise time frame to BTS’ CHAPTER 2. Let’s say that being back together means that they will physically be together and do a WLIVE on the 31st of December 2025, that means that, if we assume their serving period to be 18 months, the latest any member can enlist is the 30th of June 2024 (which I calculated considering the 30th of December 2025 being their last day). Obviously, I don’t know if their plan is to be together by the end of December 2025 and start working on a new album in 2026. Or be together say by August 2025 and ready for a tour in 2026 with a new album; only time can tell. But for the purpose of this post: BTS’ CHAPTER 2 began on the 15th of June 2022 and could end on the 31st of December 2025.

SO, that being said, a couple of things happened on the 15th of June 2022 that I would like to point out and a couple of things, define a couple of others, and I would like for people to remember one particular thing:

THINGS TO POINT OUT:

Some OT7 ARMY decided to dip and come back when BTS comes back to be 7, so after MS.

Other OT7 and/or x/y/z-biased ARMY decided to support each member’s solo endeavour.

Last but abso-fucking-lutely not least, SOLOS FINALLY GOT THEIR TIME TO SHINE AND PUSH THEIR AGENDA, along side antis.

THINGS TO DEFINE:

FAMILY BOY BAND MEMBER or FBBMs: Is what I will call boy bands with members that already knew each other, or were already related, etc etc etc.

STRANGERS BOY BAND MEMBERS or SBBMs: Is what I will call the type of bands that were put together through an audition, selection, etc etc etc.

ONE THING TO REMEMBER OR REALISE:

There was a point in time when BTS was seriously considered by NOBODY. Many knew about them, but still wanted nothing to do with them. Some that knew about them, went on and treated them like trash. Even though they had the talent, it took their fandom at the time to be persistent in order for people to give them a chance. In short, differently from many FBBMs and SBBMs who eventually ended up splitting up after reaching fame, BTS experienced having nobody but themselves and their label and fame came AFTER THAT. Because everyone was a nobody before becoming somebody, but how many were nobodies, who were constantly shoved down by semi-bodies and ignored by somebodies before they became THE BODIES themselves? So yeah, they may be smiling to people that harmed them in the past, and they might have decided to forgive and forget in other instances, but as real and intended as the experience they had were, you can bet that so are the choices that they make nowadays. A method to madness.

If you are a businessperson like yours truly, or have dealt with managing a business, you probably know that it is like in Love and War; all is fair. Obviously, this brings about injustice right away, but this is a known fact, no matter how clean you are, if you come and play in a muddy place, what do you think is gonna happen? Not to say that everyone is trying to get down and dirty, in fact, there are people that try their best to keep clean, but the reality of the fact is that you are still playing in mud. Yet, there is a difference between purposely trying to suffocate people in those muddy waters and trying to simply play by the rules, harm as less people as possible in the process and going home to live another day and start all over again the next day. 

Life is about balance, that’s why I like the color gray so much, it is the balance between black and white. And even though the Tannies are our beloved artists, it is important not to forget that in their own right they are also businessmen. I’m sure they want nothing else than to be there for ARMY always in theri best capacities, but this is not a charity, their lives, and the people who work for them, depend on the amount of money they make; this needs to not be forgotten. Now, how they make this money, all depends on the muddy field they play in, but from what I can see they really try their darn best to keep as clean as they can and harm as few people as humanly possible. 

ALL THAT to say that, when you experience having NOTHING with a group of PEOPLE, you will TREASURE THAT GROUP OF PEOPLE. Hence, ONCE AGAIN and it will not be the last time, I’ll keep hammering this, Chapter 2 wasn’t brought by for them to spread their wings and keep the fuck out, but as a means for them to have the experience they each want to have so that they can eventually be together again, healthily in order ot achieve Longevity which I will also get to towards the end of this post, don’t worry. And this brings me right to the current issues on the fandom-streets: FAVORITISM & SOLOS.

So at the moment “JUNGKOOK and his radio play” are the most recent subject. I will not go in depth, as I’ll be damned if I brought up all THE UNNECESSARY energy that has been riding with this valid topic. In fact, one thing that I found very helpful in understanding the radio play issue, was the following post by Ororo and Artiechikoo: 

​​https://www.tumblr.com/chikooritajjk/722232413519052800/so-youll-are-basically-saying-since-the-industry?source=share

Now, once you’ve read that, you’ll understand that the ACTUAL ISSUE HERE IS: WHY DIDN’T HYBE SEND LIKE CRAZY TO BE PLAYED ON THE RADIO, and that ladies, gentlemen and distinguished enbies, is a legit ass question. However, none of the members have anything to do with ANY of that, or with anything related really. During Festa 2022 dinner, they all told us the order in which their albums were coming out, which would indicate that they all sat down months beforehand, and all discussed what they wanted to do during their chapter 2. I would also dare to say that they also all were responsible for their projects, promotions and every aspect of their chapter 2, but that is just me.

ANYWAYS, back to the Jimin radio play issue, which, once again, is A VALID TOPIC, that unfortunately is being muddied from all the shit that solos are bringing forth that has NOTHING to do with anything. Is like the story of the boy who cried wolf, when the actual wolf arrived, nobody was there to help. When you are still stuck on cakes, on accusing members of sabotage, or any moving thing at that, THE REAL PROBLEM WILL BE OVERLOOKED.

Also, just putting this out there, if you actually think that ANY OF THE MEMBERS is out there actively sabotaging other members, then rest assured that you are also stanning a phonie-ass person. If you took a second to check out every other member, for every member who is being sabotaged by members, there is a story about that same member sabotaging another member. MEANING that we would all be supporting a band of phonies, who wouldn’t think twice to backstab their band mates; ALL OF THEM. 

So when, for example, you are accusing JK of throwing JM under the bus, or in the mud, stop one second, breathe, and TRY to put yourself in JK’s shoes. Imagine for example, spending a whole day reacting to JM content, or even just the following:

And then, imagine not giving a fuck about him: HOW DOES THAT WORK EXACTLY? Yes we don’t like Scooter Braun, yes we don’t agree with MANY OTHER THINGS, but it is vital to know how to address the correct issue and not just burn EVERYTHING DOWN, or/and involve not concerned parties. So when for example, the company is to blame, then the fucking company is to blame only, and not everything you would like to blame along with it. 

I 👏🏾DO 👏🏾 NOT 👏🏾 CARE 👏🏾 FOR 👏🏾 SOLOS 👏🏾 IN  👏🏾ANY 👏🏾 WAY 👏🏾 OR 👏🏾 FORM 👏🏾. 

Not too long ago, I was making this example with someone who told me that there was maybe a valid reason for people to become solos, but to me it felt like people saying they had a valid reason for becoming Nazi; would I support a Nazi, no matter what reason? 🤡🤡🤡THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER WAY, and unfortunately, keep suffering for a while longer, is one of them 🤡🤡🤡Becoming a Nazi WILL NEVER BE THE ANSWER for me, in the same way in which BECOMING A SOLO WILL NEVER BE THE ANSWER. When you become a solo you actively decide to care fuck all about all the other members. Now the person you want to support, loves and wants to keep building something with the people you decide are expendable, so, once again: HOW DOES THAT WORK EXACTLY?  Being able to pinpoint the actual issue is hard, it is confusing, it is stressful, but it is essential, please please please understand that.

BTS’ CHAPTER 3: BTS IS ENDGAME. PERIOD.

… I mean, I really don’t want to sound like a broken record so let me allow them to say it:

💙:

Here is the link to the full article: https://www.instagram.com/p/CpgkLqbtEKB/?hl=en

🩷:

🖤:

❤️:

💛:

💚:

💜:

AAAAAND, Except for Yoongi who is being rightfully private precious:

ALL OF A SUDDEN, I have a feeling that Yoongi got a “matching tattoo with the rest of the rapline, so his tattoo is somewhere on one of his legs …These boys have spent YEARS OF THEIR LIFE fighting against all sorts of prejudice, hate, nonsense, and more. It used to be from those who never gave them a chase, but now it seems that the adversary-wave is coming from within the fandom. YEAH IT LOOKS BAD RIGHT ABOUT NOW. But let's emphasize the LOOKS part of that sentence, because Social media “ARMY” aren’t IT. 

When you spend too much time on any SM, it will feel like that’s what ARMY is ALL about but I can guarantee you that there are so many ARMY out there who don’t know or care about the noise and just mind their business and keep streaming and advocating for the right causes. There are ARMY who do their best to support the boys in the best way they can, even if they can’t afford to buy every single piece of merch. 

There are also ARMY who are waiting for the boys to come back and also those people who have no idea yet, but will suddenly become ARMY in 2026 when THE BIGGEST COMEBACK THIS PLANET WOULD HAVE EVER WITNESSED, will kick off after they announce their world tour. In conclusion, as always, DO AS YOU SEE FIT, but if you decide that, believing and following people who think that having the boys competing against each other for future solo supremacy is where it’s at, all I’d “cutely” have to say is that:

THEY DIDN’T STUTTER: OT7 IS ENDGAME.

HAPPY ARMY DAY 🫰🏾.

Always respectfully yours,

Marengo. 

[grappel-writes]

Poor Strategy

Orion regales his dying companion with a childhood story like a proper soldier. Except the companion is an overly dramatic undead (who almost certainly can't die from blood loss), and "companion" is a very muddy definition.

Read on Ao3 Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50446567

Astarion x Orion (male tav) Stabbing, gratuitous blood mention, wound descriptions, permanent injuries (not for a major character)

Rocky bluffs, short falls, precarious footing, but good for making sudden dodges, getting into, and out of, the enemy’s range. The sun is setting, creating stark, long shadows that are perfect for Astarion to utilize. Half a dozen opponents block the thin deer path that cuts through the woods shading them. Hooded figures, likely cultists, with only short blades visible. If more weapons or magics were hidden underneath, there was no time to tell. Orion is flanked by Wyll, already summoning his rapier, and Astarion, who leans forward in thrilled anticipation of the blood that’s about to be spilled. Orion’s ax is pulled, grip secured with a calibrating heft, and in sync, they’re off. 

The figure at the lead rushes forward, too, knife over extended and leaving himself open. Orion sees the telegraphed move from a mile away and is already aiming for center mass. The moment before impact, from the corner of his eye, he notices a vital detail. A deadly one, even. An oversight that drains him of all his confidence. Astarion is slipping into the shadows like it’s a habit, but doesn’t see the figure already planted there. Half obscured behind the brush, she’s well behind the path. They had walked right by her without a single notice. The vampire doesn’t even get the chance to turn fully before the lithe, hidden human poses for her target. There’s no time to warn him, not mid motion, and Orion’s ax blade glances harmlessly off of the unseen plate under the traveling cloak of his attacker. Something else he should have noticed, but he’s too concerned for Astarion. He curses, loudly, and tries to reorient himself without letting it rattle him. What else had he missed? Was anyone else in danger?

But again, there’s no time, no time… there’s never enough time. “Fights start and end remarkably fast.” Orion’s voice resonates through the camp the same way the fire in the center radiates light that dissipates into the dark woods surrounding them. “You don’t even realize how many decisions you have to make with each breath, each half a second… each half of a half of a second.” “That’s called a quarter, darling.” “It’s called life or death, fangs.” He’s been poking the fire with a far off look as he’s entranced by the licking flames, musing out loud. “In that ungodly small instant, you have to make so many judgements, each one to save yourself. Or your people. In the time it takes for a sword to unsheathe everything could have changed. And you can only act on what you know… what’s in front of you, what you actually see, hear. Where your focus is.” “You overcomplicate things. Just go in with sharp instincts and sharper blades, it’s always worked out for me.” “If only I had the instincts of a well fed vampire, hm?” The dimpled, healing marks on Orion’s neck betray his fondness. “I have to keep honing that sharpness. Walking onto the battlefield, for me, unprepared is the same as walking in already dead. So, even if we’re ambushed, separated, in camp, or hells, at sea, I want to have a plan.” 

“Ugh, really?”” 

“I know it’s a lot but what you’ll do, what I’ll do, how to save each other… they keep me up at night.” He tosses the stick he’s using to poke the fire into the flames and clasps his hands together tightly. “I don’t just look out for myself, you know I’d protect any of you, but Astarion… I can’t see you get hurt. So, please.” 

The vampire’s quiet for a moment, watching the upturned golden look that reflects the fire back to him hurt and plead silently. 

“Fine. Only because I can’t wait to see what you think I could possibly do on a boat of all things. And because it’ll ease your worries.” 

Gripped by fear and pain, overwhelmed by indecision and the flurry of moments he should be judging now, and now, right now, knowing the more he’s absent the more he’s missing and it’s stacking up faster and faster. Orion freezes. 

The enemy ambusher’s blades flash out with deadly precision, cloak floating back behind her with the motion. Both daggers find their mark deep into Astarion’s side, making him cry out. The side of his carefully mended gambeson immediately darkens with blood. There’s a gruesome noise when the attacker pulls her blade free with a wicked, successful snarl. She’s readying to strike again despite Astarion crouching over to hold his wounds, incapacitated. 

Orion can’t even process a want or fear, an instinct, not even a noise. He’s completely numb, his mind ejecting to some other realm. So far gone, when he’s struck by a battle hammer on the shoulder that jostles his entire frame and pushes his collarbone sickeningly low, he doesn’t even respond to the shooting ache. Distantly, he acknowledges a bolt of raw power that shoots over his shoulder. The smell of ozone registers, but no meaning is placed to it even as Astarion’s attacker is sent flying back off the stone ridge. No longer having to pull his focus between his attacker and the wounds, the vampire falls to his knees. 

Those wounds are deep, judging by the length of blood he saw disappear into Astarion. The fighter’s blood runs cold, the idea to shout dies as just a passing thought. His stomach lurches as blood continues to pour out from between the vampire’s clutching hands. The entire side of his companion and the ground under him are a glistening scarlet. Their blood. Shared life and strength that Orion readily gave, that Astarion made his own, was spilling. 

There are other crashes, yelps, and grunts of a fight he can’t seem to pull to foucs. His ax is weightless in his hand he’s so unfeeling, stuck staring uselessly at the elf across the clearing. He could run to help, but how? His legs are more than useless. Besides, he’s no medic. Astarion could die, couldn’t he? And standing here just watching, surrounded by enemies who would love to find out if he could, Orion’s mind is simply blank. A flash of a different fight, in a different life, rainy cobblestones drain the blood he shared with another towards him and again, he was paralyzed. 

“...what are you doing? Orion!?” The still scene in front of him blurs, then shakes violently as Wyll grabs him by the back of his chest plate. The warlock is inches from his face, wielding a rapier of light out to an approaching attacker just to buy them a second. 

“Snap out of it! Orion! We need you in this - don’t lose it now!” Orion blinks, recognizing the one infernal and one stone eye boring into him, commanding him to come to. Wyll was still well, still fighting, and Orion couldn’t let him do it alone. The grip on his weapon tightens, conviction set, but all he can manage to do is look over his shoulder at Astarion anyway. The other man balls tightly onto his knees, making no noise, no movement… “ Now Orion!” Wyll gives the armor another brisk shake, then tosses the fighter directly into the fray. The world snaps back into focus. 

Years of training take over. Decision to be made now - life or death. No time to think. Anything that he had missed would have to remain unnoticed. It pushes Orion back inside. The scared young man who just wants to run to Astarion’s side and scream. Instead, it’s the fighter who stands tall, and before him skulls cleave, armor crumples like foil, crushing its wearers. Blood flies, wounds opened by him are cauterized shut again by the pure energy of Wyll’s spells striking true. It’s a gruesome duet that ends in mere seconds and leaves smoldering, motionless carnage at their feet. Orion doesn’t recall a single moment of it. 

As soon as the last body thuds to the ground, Orion’s ax joins it there. He twists on his heel to sprint to Astarion’s side, his only cohesive thought is to be with him. He falls to the bloody dirt, “Astarion - hold on, not now, not now, notnownotnow… I’m gonna get you back. Come on-” “ Don’t. ” Astarion bites back without looking up, hissing through his teeth. “It hurts. ” each sound is torture, a fight on its own. “Give me. A moment.” Orion’s hand hovers nervously over him, shaking, his mouth dry. “I’m sorry, this was my fault, I shouldn’t have told you… We could have seen her. I’m sorry. Let me do something, I’m not leaving you here.” Panic is mounting as he realizes just how useless he is at this moment. Only good at destroying, not at helping someone once they’re actually hurt. 

All too many commands, curses, and pleas flood Astarion’s mind. They roll around like something barbed, catching each other and ripping and tearing at everything. Unable to speak anymore, they lash out to Orion’s mind, its parasite, directly.

I can’t fucking move. Don’t make me - it’ll hurt worse. I’m not going anywhere. Help me. I’m immortal. Can’t die. Can’t die. I don’t want to die. It. Hurts. 

The half elf recoils at first at the rushed flood of thoughts, but recovers and shifts even closer, heart pounding, lost. He doesn’t look up when Wyll approaches while digging something out of his pack. 

“I know, I know, that looks nasty… here.” He presses a familiar bottle into Orion’s hand, catching it within his own while he speaks to get the frayed fighter to focus. “Give this to Astarion. Stay. Here. Fight off anyone else that comes, I know you can.” Orion nods. Wyll looks to Astarion. “Don’t die. I’ll be back with Shadowheart. We’ll get you right.” the Blade forces a smile, “I won’t let our favorite leech-” “ GO” Astarion’s deep, guttural command cuts through all pretense, all niceties. Wyll blinks, but understands the urgency immediately and takes a couple steps backward before taking off.

The cork is fumbled with a couple times before Orion is finally able to work it free. He holds it under Astarion’s mouth, grateful that his shaking has settled now that he’s been given a task. “You have to.” He can’t help the shaking in his voice, though. 

Astarion groans, sitting up enough to do that would stretch his wounds out, but his energy is fading and he can’t protest more than that. His thoughts are too cloudy to come up with any other idea. 

“I know, but if you can’t do it on your own I’ll have to push you on your side and pour it down your throat. Your choice.” An even more miserable idea than the first… Astarion weighs his optins, and decides that if he’s going to go through excruciating pain again, it’ll be on his terms. A bloodied, pale hand lashes out and grips Orion’s bracer. His grip slides on the metal, but stays, and he pulls the arm closer to himself. “I’ll do it, dammit-!” His breathing is deep, rough, ragged. Blood is dripping from his mouth now as he stares down the potion in front of him as if it’s his newest nemesis. Insufferable pain, or death. How he wished he wouldn’t end up in this situation over and over again like this… But he had done it before, and he could do it again. 

The fighter lets his arm be controlled, holding it steady through Astarion’s pained quivers. He pushes it up and against the vampire’s lower lip. Ready. 

With a sharp inhale, Astarion sits up fully and pulls Orion’s arm, and the potion, with him to drain it fast. Orion follows through with the motion, tilting the bottle as needed. Sharp, wrenching pain makes Astarion’s vision swim and the world twist as he can feel the gruesome shift of cut flesh against itself. He knows pain like this, and in some fucked up way, it’s a comfort that he isn’t new to this kind of anguish. 

He drinks fast, unable to taste or feel any of it, and releases Orion’s arm with a cry as soon as he’s done. The bottle’s tossed aside, and the elf leans over again, hand ghosting over his own wounds, too sensitive to touch now. They still burn, but now in a sickening way as the potion gets to work to weave flesh back together the limited amount it can. The pain now is less dominating, atleast, no longer fading in and out of lucidity, his mind is his own. 

“Orion.” He gasps, still crouched. Hurts a little less to keep it compressed, it seems. 

“Yes?” “Looks like we’re moving our next night time encounter up quite a bit sooner.” The fighter scoffs, a relieved smile flashing for just as long as he dares to feel that. “Not if you’re going to just let it all go to waste again. No point in filling a bucket with a hole.” “ Don’t. Make me laugh.” Astarion shoots a dagger of a look back up, with the slightest glimmer of mischievous appreciation in the red. “Right, of course.” Orion shifts back, sitting fully in front of him now, in tense silence. It feels like infinity as he watches the growing red on Astarion’s side slow, and then finally, stop. The only noise to accompany them is the shifting of leaves in the woods, the barely there shuffle of the creatures that live in it. They’re deathly still and quiet, as if they’re both waiting to see if the healing reverses somehow. Of course, it doesn’t, and the searing pain finally ebbs away enough for most of Astarion’s other senses to return. A few more moments, and he’s comfortable to move again. If he’s going to be under the careful watch of his mark, he might as well look proper while he is. Sitting back against the bluff, still favoring his bad side, Astarion looks squarely back. Takes in the tight shoulders, the grit teeth of the fighter in front of him.

“It wasn’t your fault, you know. I’ll let you take the blame since I can’t sink something sharp into the actual person that caused it, but you're just taking the fall." The half-elf's brow pinches, and he works to remove his bracers and gauntlets as he speaks. "You acted under my guidance, I contributed at least that way." The removed armor is dropped by his knees, "and again I failed you, when you were caught by someone I didn't see. Then when I couldn’t make it to you… Three moments I could've prevented this, and didn't." Left to watch the self scrutiny, Astarion can only grapple with the roiling confusion of why . Why did he endeavor over this so hard, blame himself, put on this show about it? Orion claims to not want anything more than a cure and to go home, so what's all this effort for? Did he really think that Astarion was worth risking this much for? "Most people would call me a blind idiot for missing the rat myself, and they'd be right. I'm already bleeding out, making me watch you torture yourself too is just depressing." 

That gets Orion to almost roll his eyes, but he relents. "You're right. You don't need to hear me go on." "Of course I’m right.” Astarion rolls his shoulder, wincing at the easing pain, “If you've anything more entertaining to discuss, well, we'll likely be here for a moment." "Mm." Orion shifts, one knee up and the other curled under himself. "Something entertaining… I'm not a very good story teller. I'd read you your book, but it's not in your pack I don't think?" Astarion shakes his head, an earnest, small smile touched by the offer. One that perhaps he’ll have to take him up on later. "What do you want to talk about then?" “You want me to pick? Come now, if you can’t even regale an injured ally in his possibly last moments with a battle story, what good are you as a soldier anyway?” 

Orion slumps back with a disbelieving laugh, “Sure don’t sound like you’re in your last moments… but fine, if you just want to hear me drone on while you die…” 

“Well honestly, I’d rather be in a massive feather bed, wonderfully not stabbed, surrounded by beautiful people, wine, and the bloodiest of dinners but. You’ll do.” The vampire gives a dismissive wave towards the other, as if his company wasn’t one of the most important things in his life right now.  "Let's see… why don't you tell me about how you froze out there?” That red look cuts back up, suddenly razor sharp. “Don't think I didn't see it. I might have been in mortal peril, but even I was able to catch that." Despite his best efforts to needle, his expression softens. The toying lilt fades to something that sounds dangerously close to genuine concern. 

"Really?” 

Even under the pauldrons, it’s easy to see Orion’s shoulders drop. “You were clutching at two stab wounds, and you still noticed?" He rubs a hand down his jaw to hide his embarrassed smile. He tries not to think how that meant when Astarion was hurt, he looked to him. Tries not to think of how that makes him happy. 

"I'm very perceptive. Now, don't deflect. Remember the whole dying and occupying my last moments thing?" "Firstly, you're not dying. Second: of course, Astarion, let me just bare my deepest fears and biggest insecurities to you. For entertainment." "That is precisely what I want, yes." Orion laughs, "One day, I'm going to figure out how to say no to you…" He pushes his hair back to avoid making eye contact. “I’ll take that as a challenge.” Another laugh, and Orion laces his fingers together, staring at them with a fading smile as he pulls the thread on an old memory. 

"It's a whole story - which is exactly what you were hoping for, I think. Some family drama, even…” he glances back up, downright bashful, “I’ll tell you, but you don’t talk about it to anyone else, okay?” “Darling, keeping secrets is what I do, I would never.” Astarion holds a hand over his heart, a swear he’s broken countless times, but something pulling at him says not this time. This one he’ll take to the grave if Orion asked. The other nods, satisfied with the answer because he trusted Astarion far too much.

“I've never frozen like that before, except when I was a kid. I was big enough to think I was grown, but still young enough that I wasn't sure what to do with all the new strength and height yet. Mom always said I reminded her fawn at that age, I guess I get why.” He blinks hard, bringing his thoughts back to the story he’s so used to avoiding. “Anyway, I picked a fight with a merc group." 

"That was stupid of you." 

"Yes, it was. Dad wanted to hire them for something, they turned him down, and it put him in a tight spot. I didn't even bother to ask why they did, or stop to think if there was a better way to help. I just got it in my head that they needed to be taught a lesson." 

Astarion's brows lift in unexpected amusement, never would he have guessed his humble warrior used to be so hot headed. And the eagerness for violence, even at that young of an age? Some people are just born with talents, he guesses. "And I'm assuming you didn't leave them to drain in the streets, mission accomplished?" 

"Hah, no. Course not. I think I wanted to… prove myself? Make my mark? I don’t know. All I actually did was get beaten senseless. Turns out they weren’t interested in going easy on me just because I was young.” He tilts his head with a sheepish chuckle, “I wouldn’t have either after some of the things I had said.” “To be a fly on the wall when that happened…” Orion points that half smile back at him, “Maybe you were. Can you do bugs, as spawn? I know the real things can do bats, wolves… surely a fly is easier, right? You could handle that?” “I’m sorry - I believe we left off at the part where you made a fool of yourself and were then beaten and humiliated in the street for it?” 

Another laugh, bouncing straight from his chest. It isn’t graceful or polite, but Astarion can’t help but smile with him because of it. It’s beautiful. 

“Right, that part…” hands up in surrender, “Face so swollen you couldn’t recognize me, ribs broken, couple joints dislocated…” He motions to Astarion’s wound, “You get it.” “I do.” there are other things he remembers, more in tune with what Orion’s describing, that he can relate to. “Trust me.” The fighter seems to notice, clears his throat, and rubs a fist in two circles over his heart: ‘I’m sorry.’ A quick sign he picked up somewhere, Astarion’s never asked, but he appreciates the brevity of the movement. With the quiet acknowledgement, the moment passes. 

“They… were going to kill me. I think. Until they got bored kicking me on the ground. I stayed there that night, passed out right in the street. You know how Baldur’s Gate is, no one else’s business, so no one even looked twice at some kid in the gutter.” “Ah, yes. Home.” “Hah, yeah. Home. Speaking of, I came home the next morning. Nearly knocked Dallin over while he was running out to go look for me.” Orion’s voice drops, eyes close. “I’ve never seen him so furious. At me, at the people who had done it to me… Dallin liked to fight, too, but he was better at it than me. More skilled… and he did it for the right reasons. ” “Suppose that gallant, knight in shining armor behavior is genetic, then. It’s a wonder either of you made it to the age you did.” Orion’s silent for a moment, studying the ground hard before continuing, acting as if he didn’t hear Astarion’s last comment. 

“He waited a couple days. Pinned down their hideout, figured out who they were and how they fought. Where they liked to drink, the gear they had, casters, abilities… he did his research. I got patched up, braced, bandaged, and he put a sword in my hand again. Told me if I was going to make problems that other people had to fix, the least I could do was help.” His tone darkens, the usual glow to him seems to dim with the rapidly setting sun. In return, the snark dies on Astarion’s tongue. He lets himself be engaged with the rest of the story in earnest. The dull ache in his side not forgotten, but throbbing sympathetically with Orion’s remembered injuries. 

“So we head out. Two kid brothers, with unsharpened swords, and nothing but revenge on the mind. We found them, and got exactly what we wanted. The fight broke out immediately, Astarion… and I froze.” He looks up to the sky, rapidly approaching dark blue, blinking a couple times to force back the burn of his eyes. “I was too far away from Dalin. We didn’t have a plan, we just ran in. So when they kicked him down, there was nothing I could do. I knew I needed to help… the sound his back made. I knew it was bad. But I couldn’t. I stood there and watched until someone knocked me out or I blacked out, I don’t know.” With a shuddery sigh he drags both hands over his face, and he’s quiet for a long time. So long Astarion nearly speaks up to convince him that he doesn’t need to finish the story, but his curiosity wins over, and he waits. 

“When I came to, I was at home. Guards broke up the fight, carried us both back. Should’ve taken us to prison, really, but they knew our parents. And they pitied us. Pitied Dallin.” Voice cracks, but he pulls his shoulders back with a throat clear to compose himself. Astarion sees the man he met off the nautiloid, the one who kept everything hidden behind a soldier’s mask. 

“Dallin couldn’t move his legs. Couldn’t feel them. Whole host of healers revolved in and out and none of them were able to fix it.” 

The last hanging on rays of the sun are clipped, relenting to the smothering navy of the darkening sky. “Don’t be so broken up about it, it’s hardly your fault that he stepped into your fight. One he couldn’t handle, no less. He had to have known something like that was a possibility.” Astarion watches, waits, and seeing no change in that steeled expression, continues. “Not me, though. Your brother is exceedingly valorous, and all the accolades to him for it, but I still expect full protection - and look at the state I’m in! I’ll be holding this against you until you figure out some way to make it up to me.” 

Orion scoffs, trying to force away the smile that pulls from him. Astarion’s getting too good at cracking his composure. 

“I’m sure you will, considering how often you speak on things you’d like to hold against me.” 

“Feeling bold only when I’m hurt? We’ll see if you can keep that up when this gets mended.”

“I’m sure I can keep your teeth off of me just fine, even at your full strength, vampire.” 

“If only it was just fangs we were talking about…” Orion’s look lingers, trained on that red stare that makes him breathless, “If only.” 

The vampire wets his lips, shifting forward, it’s become easier to ignore the burn in his side with this temptation before him. “When we get back-” 

The growing sound of boots crunching on the dirt and gravel path pull both of their attention. Even in the dim lighting, the silhouettes of their companions are clear. Shadowheart’s braid swinging behind her as she moves, Wyll’s proud horns curling above him. “Thank the Gods.” Orion stands, those trailing words from earlier immediately forgotten, and moves to go meet them. 

“Ah-! Don’t just leave me here!” Orion stops in his tracks, it’s unnecessary, they’re only down the path, but he obliges. With only a moment’s hesitation he comes back and takes a knee next to him. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I’ll stay right here.” At that, Astarion has no response other than a haughty sound. He was expecting a hand wave or a laugh instead. Not this level of devotion, especially after the story they just shared. He’s grateful he can look at their approaching companions and avoid the soft, golden look that always seems to be watching over him. 

The mending goes quickly, easily. The only residual burning is from the healing magic, and will wane much faster. Astarion shifts his shirts around to examine the bloody scars underneath through the holes left. They’ll be healed within the week. “I just patched this one…” “I know,” Orion slings Astarion’s pack over his shoulder. Wyll and Shadowheart are picking over the bodies for anything useful, just far enough away to be out of ear shot. “But better that than your ribs.” 

“Better I not get stabbed at all.” He continues to run his finger along the torn edge, “You didn’t have to stay with me.” “... I did.” “You didn’t. But you did anyway.” Astarion pulls his shoulders back, lifts his chin. Every part as regal as he was before the wound. Even if it was just a gesture of an age old guilt, a heavy memory Orion was trying to correct, it was also a kindness, and he’s not used to that. “Astarion,” Orion takes a step closer, and from his thick voice the vampire expects a touch on his jaw, in his hair, something he’s not sure he’s dreading or excited for. It never comes. “I would do it again in a heartbeat, over and over. Anything to make sure you’re okay.” 

“Orion! These yours?” He spins on his heel just in time to catch the gloves flying towards him. “Yes! Thank you, I’m all over the place, I would’ve left them…” He flips them in his hands a few times, and again catches Astarion’s look with a near pleading one of his own. “I’ll do better next time. It… makes my heart hurt to see you like that. I don’t want it to happen again.” almost shyly, his look goes back down to his gloves. Just a second though, in the next he’s composed again. That casual smile back, he nods to Astarion and turns. As if he hadn’t just branded Astarion’s safety onto his soul, declaring it to be of utmost import to him, the fighter walks towards his other companions to look over the pile of secured equipment. 

Gone before he can stumble into something witty, Astarion is overwhelmed and overtaken with a feeling he had lost a long, long time ago. When Orion turns to look down the path, faint, matching pin pricks are clear on his neck. The bare side, where they’re more obvious but won’t scar his tattoo, by request. Evidence of what they do, how they’re linked. That Astarion was there. Mindlessly, his touch grazes over his own new twin scars on his side, but they’re to be lost soon. Vampires always go back to their original state. It aches to think that he’ll lose the permanent reminder. The proof that Orion was ever there, that he was changed because of it. “Ah,” he breathes, and the something between every word and thought materializes, solid and unmistakable now in his chest. His touch traces up to that instead, hand flat over his long still heart.

“Hello there, you were supposed to be dead.” 

[badboypoirot]

Having watched Weathering With You -- (spoilers beneath the cut)

I've come to realize my absolute favorite premise in a romance work is a combination of Rescue Romance + Cynic/Idealist Duo + Always Save the Girl (bonus points for extra angst) + and, very specifically, subverting Heroic Sacrifices.

Fitting these to a tee and probably my first exposures to these: Final Fantasy X and Prince of Persia (2008). UGH I need more!

Along those lines, I finally understand why people would choose to save Bae over Bay in Life Is Strange 1. I was so shocked to see that the choices were split evenly; I was like, "Why would anyone ever choose Chloe?!"

When I was thinking about what other works might fit the bill above, I immediately thought of LiS1, but then I asked myself why I had such a visceral reaction to the ending whereas I loved what Hodaka did in Weathering With You. Some thoughts spring to mind:

Max and Chloe had zero chemistry. (This is my FlynnRiderSwords.jpg opinion, especially as a lesbian.) Maybe it was just how my first and only playthrough unfolded, but I was much more interested (and made Max more so) in Warren and Katie. Plus I thought Chloe was an asshole.

Sacrificing Arcadia Bay felt like a betrayal because of how personal it was. By the end of the game, you've really come to know the town and its residents. Choosing Chloe means classmates at school without homes, the local diner getting destroyed, and, very possibly, characters that you like dying. Obviously what happens to Tokyo is catastrophic and of a far greater magnitude than a small hometown, but most of the residents we see outside of the main cast are, well, not that great. A thug tries to force Hina into hostess work, Hodaka gets beaten up SO MANY TIMES, and they, as runaways, get treated with suspicion and hostility instead of compassion or concern. It's no wonder Hodaka would choose Hina over Tokyo when Hina has been the best thing that's happened to him. It also helps that in the epilogue we see that Tokyo has adapted and the other characters are doing well.

Despite the above, I'd still like to revisit Life Is Strange. Maybe I'll have a more sympathetic view on Chloe.

On a separate note, the idea of a perpetually raining Tokyo made me think about that Ray Bradbury story, "All Summer in a Day."

Imagine being a resident. It's been an extremely rainy season. You're a little sad because you don't get to hang outside as much as you used to. Your outfits are planned around the rain, and your cute clothes you got on sale some months ago have been sitting unused. Then things get weird. The temperatures are dropping, and it's nowhere close to fall. A huge typhoon hits with harder and heavier rain than you've ever seen in your life. They're calling it a "once-in-a-hundred-years" event. The government is ordering an evacuation, and you worry over your pets, your job, and your elderly parents. The weather, somehow, only gets worse, and it's like the world is ending.

Then the sun appears. It's been months, and it's finally here. You relish in the sunshine, for once not minding the sweat beading down your face. The rain is finally gone, and visions of a reclaimed summer fill your head: barbecue parties, the outdoors, beach trips.

Then the rain returns. And it never leaves. It's been three years.

How would it feel, having lived through that moment? You were there when the sun showed up for the last time. How would you explain the sun to small children who have only known the rain their entire lives? Would it be pity, believing that these kids will never experience a sunny day?

Or -- to lean into the theme -- would it be guilt, knowing that it was society's indolence and greed that drove this climate crisis?

Edited to add: I’ve read up on how Shinkai didn’t intend to make any political commentary on climate change, just that he was inspired by it. Ray Bradbury didn’t intend for Fahrenheit 451 to be about censorship either.

[revasserium]

i love your replies to the writer’s ask! about the compliment you gave yourself, yes. i do agree. i’m trying to recall which HQ fanfic of yours i first read. i’ve read so many of your works from that era. as i’m sieving through my memories, a few works of yours pop up like kageyama & the world responding?? daichi’s story with the prompt on goodbyes? adore the way you hook and drag. without looking at your masterlist, which story immediately comes to mind when you think of “time”?

about driving, since i’m still new i haven’t driven much. i’m very excited to cruise on the roads, but i’m also really bad at overtaking (i.e. i can overtake—or else how would i have passed my driving test—but i haven’t done it when cars are going fast & when it’s crowded… road conditions for my test were milder). it’s scary… SJDJSJDJSJ. i’ll hopefully be driving soon with my parent who can instruct me. i think for the time being, as i get used to the car, i have to focus, but i look forward to blasting music while driving 👍 — @anonymilk

also the poem you gave me was so great 🥹 thank you!! are there any poems from that author you like as well?? why do you like them specifically?? — @anonymilk also what happened the past 2 weeks r u alright :( — @anonymilk

combining ur asks! <3 hope u dont mind and sorry i take so long lol but answers in the cut!

uGH that reaper!kageyama x angel!reader fic is still one of my all time favs u__u im so happy you remember that one. sldkfjasd and the daichi story T^T -- i realized that pre-hiatus i was so so so kagehina biased with a hard sprinkling of suga but then post-hiatus i came back and suddenly i'm a daichi stan like is this..... IRL character dev bro. am i just into the Greenest of Green Flags now. not that i dont still adore kagehina bc i do. u__u they are my babies.

in terms of "time" -- i think the one that comes to mind most immediately is the hinata "length of daylight" fic i wrote! it remains one of my fav hinata fics i've written to date :D

for driving -- it def is something that needs lots of practice! but you'll get there!!! i'm excited for you!!!! and yeah to this day, i hate overtaking ppl but it's a necessary evil LOL

re: agha shahid ali YES oh my god okay. i love his stuff. i actually found him when i saw a poem of his on the new york subway lol im not even kidding. and it still remains one of my favorite poems of his to this day -- it's called Stationary, and it goes like this:

The moon did not become the sun. It just fell on the desert in great sheets, reams of silver handmade by you. The night is your cottage industry now, the day is your brisk emporium. The world is full of paper. Write to me.

i think the reason i fell so in love with it is because every single line is so vivid. not to say that most of his other poems aren't like this as well but like. idk something about this just spoke to me so much? i love love love metaphors about like irl things turning /into/ paper or ink or like... writing-related stuff. it's just such a beautiful image to me. also like there's a phrase in every line that strikes me "reams of silver", "brisk emporium" -- and something about the sentence "the world is full of paper" makes me like want to yell bc it's so??? GOOD??? bc yes!!! the world is full of paper!!!!!

and obviously, the ending just SMACKS you doesn't it? write to me. ugh. UGH. ugh its so good.

sometimes this poem still comes back to me in random moments and it makes me happy.

and now for some not so fun stuff. tw for like... ilness and death but yeah uh.

this entire summer has just been kind of ass tbh??? like. during the single month of july, we had 4 people in my family/friend circle pass away -- 2 grandparents, 1 uncle, 1 friend of a friend (who was literally only 24yrs old!!! bruh!!!! WTF!!!). we thought August was going to be chiller, but nope. last day of Aug, last thursday, my boss's wife passed away after battling with cancer for 2+ years.

it hit hard for our entire team at work bc like. she was younger than my mom. and my boss is such an industry veteran, and he and his wife have been married for 17 years, they have a 13yr old son like... it just sucked all around. we all went to the funeral this past wednesday. it was a beautiful service, but obviously really freaking sad. half our entire office was there, everyone was crying. i was crying like. it was a mess.

and then right after, i think my body had had ENOUGH of this nonsense, and i got a really bad fever literally ONE HOUR after i got home from the funeral. and i've been sick since then.

it's just been... unreasonably rough... i'm really hoping that this is the last big bad thing that's gonna happen for the rest of the year. like. im so exhausted -- pls @ the universe LOL. take it easy on us okay.

so yeah. i try to keep the heavy stuff off this blog bc it's supposed to be a place where i come to be happy and write things that make me happy so i haven't talked about this much but u__u since you asked, i didn't wanna just be like "oh yeah everything is fine" when it's not LOL

i do hope that the summer is treating you better though! <3

[hanmabae]

Okay but tenjiku where their s/o text them'i love you,remember that'and they were like confused cause like tf!? Only to find that the next day that their s/o died in a battle

Basically their s/o was on a gang without them knowing and she knew that in this fight that she was going to battle is her ending up dead.Make it angst( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).Like ya know those basic gang wars

AAAA YOU HAVE NO IDEAS HOW MUCH I LIKE THIS REQUEST! But sadly I’m making only Izana and Sanzu for now! If ppl will like it i’ll make more

WHEN YOU TEXT TENJIKU BOYS ,,I LOVE YOU, REMEMBER THAT” WHILE YOU WERE FIGHTING WITH ANOTHER GANG MEMBER…

――――――――――――――――――

⤷ ♡ CHARACTERS :: Izana, Sanzu x gn! gender (y/n)

⤷ ♡ GENRE :: ANGST, Drama

⤷ ♡ WARNING :: Cursing, TW Death, Bloody moments, knife, it will be somehow sad/depressing ( English isn’t my first language so if there will be any grammatical mistakes, sorry::)

⤷ ♡ A/N :: ITS MY FIRST TIME WRITING THING LIKE THIS BAHAHA !!! Btw if you liked it, second part will be about Ran and Rin! Hope you will enjoy it!

PART 1 ⤵︎ — PART 2

⚠️English isn’t my first language so if there will be any grammatical mistakes, sorry! (But I don’t think it will be many so dw)

Izana ::

8 hours ago:

Today is the day when Valhalla will fight with Moebius, you thought and deeply inhaled.

You were worried because it will be a massive fight. No one knew that you were Izana’s girlfriend or that you were Vallhalla’s member. It's all because of your older brother who was an old leader of it. You even had a fake name so no one could know who you were in real face.

"I will be straightforward I'm somewhat scared of this battle after all Vallhalla will have just 400 and Moebius will have around 600 people. I don't count on Vallhalla boys cuz they are all weaker than an ant... Ugh, that is somewhat irritating me" you said to yourself when one of the member called you.

“Yaa! Blackhead! It's the time!” he yelled at last time and left.

You haven't look up at him because you already knew it was Chouji, he was a pain in your ass.

You stood up and looked at your hands, you realized that if something will happen Izana will be upset, so you take your phone and texted him-

After you just turned it off and left it there.

You all showed up and you previously saw they have effectively begun talking and showing their hands. 'Bet they will win' you thought.

You were standing beside Chouji who was standing forward and he was looking at Moebius with angry eyes. You turned your head and look at the boys who were standing behind you, with inquisitive eyes.

Before you turned your head someone called you again. “Oh look who we got here” he laughed “Valhalla has a girl member” he approached you and touched your face with his dirty hands “baby girl don't worry after this fight when we'll win it, I'll treat you well” he smirked and before he could do another move you kicked his balls. And I give you a guaranty your kicks were always strong and painful.

He yelled and the fight started.

Even though you guys were already tired, however more than half of Valhalla members are on the ground and only leaders are still fighting.

Yet, out of nowhere, you felt cold and the sound of the quiet voice, and you opened your eyes and appeared in the corridor of your home...

House? Well, it's not fully house but it's an orphanage, yes you were raised in an orphanage.

Before you could do something you felt somebody was gazing at you. And, you saw a kid who you didn't remember why he looked so familiar to you.

Then, one more child stood up close to him and check out me with huge eyes, they were charming, some way or another you felt warm in your heart, the warm that A couple of people could make you like this.

They slowly looked at each other and then they approached me with smiling faces.

“Hi, you're new here, right?” one of them said

And then it hit you who were they

“My name is Izana and this is Kakucho! From now on we are your friends and family” they smiled and hug me.

After when you closed your eyes, you showed up close to Izana who was perched on the rooftop with you. It was a beautiful view of the sunset.

He looked at you and said “Y/n promise me that you will be by my side forever” he smiled at you

And you immediately started crying without noticing it. You nod your head with a smile on your face.

Before it went everything dark you said “I'm sorry, you don't deserve a person like me by your side, hope you will know that I love you and that you were my everything” you smiled “please don’t forget about me and the time that we had been together”

After this, you felt cold and without noticing everything went black.

Time passed izana knew something was wrong because you have never done this before.

He couldn't find a place, he was calling you or texting you, without stopping.

But after Hanma came out of nowhere with boys.

“Izannnaa, we heard there is a fight with Valhalla with Moebius, wanna come with us?” hanma smirked like he knew something happened there.

“Sure, if you say in that way,” he said and they went to the place where everything happened.

When they arrived Izana went to check how many people were fighting still but there was no one. Before he could check who those people were kakucho screamed and everyone looked at him with worried faces.

“Ah, can you shut it and don't scream like a woman for once?” Koko said with the announced face.

kakucho didn’t give a damn, he started crying.

Izana was shocked because he knew kakucho would never cry if it's not about y/n or him and he got flesh backs of your texts.

Izana runs to kakucho and finds the missing girl.

The girl who was the world for him. His angel and his favorite person who was lying on the ground without a sign of life. She was white and around her was a lot of blood, her lips were blue, the tone of her skin was white like it had no blood in it.

He dropped his body on the ground and touch your cold skin without realizing that he will never hear her laugh and voice, he will never be able to hold her while being woke up because of the nightmare. He will never kiss her ever again.

While he was thinking about it kakucho was crying and screaming her name hoping that You would wake up.

Izana has never cried in front of people or even cried, but now without knowing he started sobbing and after crying without stopping. Everyone got shocked seeing him crying like this.

Izana hold you and said “You told me that you will never leave me! Why?” he stopped and hugged your cold body. “Then why am I seeing you like this?” he sobbed and hugged your cold body closely. “Please wake up I need you by my side, I promise You I’ll not be a bad boyfriend, who was always busy with his problems and was blinded by selfishness” he stopped and looked at you “You promised that you will never die and would be by my side forever but now I’m holding your cold body” he wiped his tears away and said angrily “I will find who did that to you” he stopped “AND I WILL KILL THEM ALL”

That's how you died, even though this death was a shame but you still left this world with a warm heart and calmly because you knew you saved many lives, and more important you helped Izana to survive in the cruel world where there is no love and care.

SANZU ::

Well, you knew that Sanzu will not understand it. You guys have been dating since he became a gang member of the Tokyo manji gang and it has been three years now, as you remember it right.

Sanzu and you were a couple of psychos who loved assassinating, touring, and beating up everyone you guys disliked. You guys were like Haitani brothers, who always do things what they want.

Sanzu never knew that you were another gang leader, and it's all because of the contract you made with the gang leader.

Right now we’re in a place where the battle will start soon. Before everything, you already have texted Sanzu and you were calm after all you left the phone at a friend's house so he could annoy you.

Without noticing battle started and you were fighting with shits who were weak and soft like girls.

Somehow you without noticing meet one of the leaders of this gang. “Ahhh, little girl are you lost? What me to help you to find a way?” he laughed.

“Well at last I found a piece of shit” you smirked

“I have seen this beautiful smile, of you.” he said and looked at me closely “don't tell me that you are Sanzu’s famous and favorite bitch” he laughed, and without noticing you hit him and knock him down.

You laughed with making fun of him “and you are a guy who got a knockdown by Sanzu’s famous and favorite bitch” you joked angrily.

However, when you joked and look in his direction, he wasn't there anymore.

From behind, you heard the voice of him “you little bitch, who do you think you are?” he yelled and punched you which made you feel.

‘It was painful’ you thought lying on the ground “in the end I won” he said and you looked up at him. He was holding a knife.

Before you could stand up he already stabbed you without hesitating, and he said “sorry but you will die here”. For a second because of the adrenaline, you haven't felt anything. After he pulled out the knife and you screamed because of the pain. You even started crying. he left you without looking back

You were struggling because of the pain.

‘Don't tell me that ill die like this?’ you thought “If that so and it's my time to leave this world, then I'm okay” you smiled and lay down.

“Please Sanzu remember that I loved you and please forgive me that I died like this,” you inhaled, and while you were exhaling last words left your mouth “I'm such a useless and foolish person,” you said and bit chuckled. After you felt cold shiverings and everything went black.

Sanzu was with Koko, Shion, and hanma when Izana came and called boys “you guys, we have to go and check one place where was the biggest battle of the gangs” he said and Hanma flinched.

“What do you mean biggest? And they didn't call us” he said ironically.

“No one knew only the members of the gangs knew” kakucho added and looked at Sanzu “why aren't you happy? I thought you loved this kind of things?” he told sanzu who was sitting without any interest in it and it was quite strange for him.

“Nothing I was just thinking how many bloods there will be” he joked and smirked.

When they arrived, there were a lot of bodies. No one knew who they were everyone was beaten to death. Even their mothers wouldn't recognize their sons. Sanzu really liked things like this.

While he was checking them he noticed a body that wasn't beaten like others, it was a woman’s body and he stopped, he recognized whose body it was.

He look at it with a shocked face and then kneeled, he touched the cold body of a woman he loved the most and checked the poor girl's pulse. She didn't have any signs of life.

Her beautiful eyes were half-closed. She had a small smile on her lips and her face was white.

Boys surrounded Sanzu and they noticed that it was you. Even though boys were selfish and had no feelings, still they felt bad about Sanzu and you. However, Izana, kakucho, Shion, and Haitani brothers knew you well and you guys seem pretty close. Ran wanted to close your eyes and he leaned but Sanzu pushed him angrily.

He closed your eyes and said “You shouldn't be here and I shouldn't do this” he sobbed “I love you too” he kissed your forehead one more time and stand up.

Before they called an ambulance someone stand up, he was from the gang that you were fighting, he looked okay. Sanzu noticed and rushed to him and pushed him.

“I will be polite so I'll fucking ask you one thing and you will answer me but only true, if not then I will fucking kill you” boy was scared but he agreed “good, you see a girl who's lying there? Who did that to her?” the guy looked over your body and remembered who did it and said “please I will tell you who did it but let me go!” he stopped and looked at you again “It was the second leader of my gang, I'm new so I don't know names but he had black hear but today how I noticed he had blond and he isn't tall”

Sanzu laughed and said “this bitch will not live” he laughs and stopped, he turned around and looked at the boys “will you guys join me?” they all looked at each other and agreed.

That's how Sanzu killed with torture the person who killed you. However, he's still traumatized but trying to not show it because he knew you will be always with him in his heart.

You have rights to Reblog, Like & Comments

And if you will do any of these, you will make me happy😋

[ninlilwinds]

i love your platonic content🥰 can I request platonic scara x fem reader and him w a best friend who's the exact opposite of him(personality wise) hcs? have a nice day!

Scaramouche with Best Friend Fem Reader Who's opposite of him!

Sorry this is so short!! But I hope you like it. The thoughts are everywhere but it makes sense I promise! >_< Enjoy!!

Plot: Scaramouche with reader who's the complete opposite of him. How will the Harbinger deal with so much annoyance?

Characters: Scaramouche

Scaramouche is pretty mean and selfish. He usually uses satire comments and sarcasm is one of his main languages  

You're bright and innocent and love to help others  

And no one would have guessed that you two would become friends 

Scaramouche could not stand you at first. He loathed it when you entered the room with a smile as bright as a million suns. Ugh someone please get him some sunglasses. Or better yet just kick you out  

But eventually he started warming up to you. At first, he thought it was because he felt a need to protects your innocence 

As he got to know you better and more he realized that he liked you as a person. He liked listened and maybe even on harder days looked forward to you talking about the bright sides of life 

Your positive outlook on life makes him take a step back and appreciate all that being alive has to offer  

Whenever he is with subordinates and your around he's also a bit more merciful towards them. Only yells at them and doesn’t shock them with his electro...well not too much anyways  

You also liked to helped Scara feel better In terms of mood 

Any smile or what was the equivalent of a smile to him was a small victory for you  

You were also one of the only people he'd let touch him. No one else. He hated people being touchy 

But a hug from you was welcomed. Your warmth made him relax and feel better, a rare feeling for him he noticed 

The first time you hugged him, it was like summer had finally come into the forever winter that he felt himself being trapped in  

And so began you two's troubles and adventures 

While Scara caused a racket because they got his order wrong, you went behind him and apologized, leaving an extra tip 

Having you around was refreshing, and he loved it. And he loved you  

You were the first person he has trusted in a while. Don't lose it, or you will pay. He often has a lot of anxieties about you finally getting sick of him , but he'd never voice them aloud  

He still thinks them  

Make sure you let him know he can trust you and that you'll stick around no matter what  

Despite what many think, you two actually make a pretty good team. You both help and balance each other out, and make everyday life better for the other  

[tendous-whore]

Ur naoya fic had me shook tho, I literally had to make a new account to send this request bc my mutuals on my main have no idea I’m into smut fics lmao (Dw tho I’m not a minor, age is in my blog desc.).

If you’re accepting requests…nanami and breeding kink pls. I love how the fandom has like decided that he has one lol, I see him as the type to *seem* vanilla buuuuuut he can actually be rough (everything is consensual tho). But that dom side of him only comes out when he’s sleeping with someone he makes a commitment to. Sorry for rambling. I’m looking forward to whatever you have to share next!!

you are the first person to send me an ask so far (which are ALWAYS open btw) so you have no idea how much I smiled when reading your message 🥺

when i woke up to read some jjk fics today, I was so shocked at how many people liked my naoya x reader!!!? it’s so weird that people enjoy my work, especially since it’s my very 1st explicit fic!

ANWAYS nanami is one of my fav characters, aside from naoya, for reasons other than both of them being goDAMN SNACKs😤 so definitely will dedicate a more in depth story for nanami later on. but! your request gives me the perfect opportunity to share a little bit of my own take on him hehhehhehe

so enjoy!! <3

nanami + breeding

the embodiment of “gentleman in the streets, freak. in. the. sheets.”

with his job, he hardly has the time to indulge in relationships, so he’s pretty lax in the bedroom at first. just goes with the flow, ya know

but the longer you stay, the more comfortable he gets when he realizes you’re not going anywhere anytime soon.

but nanami doesn’t rush to pull out the whips and chains, he’s gradual when it comes to sharing his interests with you in the bedroom.

until he isn’t.

so when the two of you are alone, and the doors are locked, the nanami in the day contrasts the man he is at night.

nanami is already dominant in all aspects of your relationship, to some degree. but it doesn’t compare when he has you crumpled, completely submitting beneath him, or bent over his knee after a long day of dealing with your shit

he’s more cutthroat than the first time you two had sex. yea, he has a soft side too but when the mood is right, he knows which to bring out

so when your spread for him, accepting everything he gives, how can he not indulge in all he wanted with his pretty little thing?

the act of pumping you full drives him wild, and at times in need, it keeps him going, until the next time

and on top of that, nanami definitely gets off on the size difference between you and him, and shows

when he purposefully pushes on your stomach, feeling the outline of his bulge, when you fold underneath him without resistance

don’t even get me started on how he loves to take you ugh

when he has you locked in a mating press, unable to move and just take. take. take.

probably likes it even more when he’s done his research, knowing how much more likely you could get get pregnant with his cum when he’s plowing into you

the thought alone is so dangerous. but that’s why he likes it. hehe.

Nanami is diligent with the way he works your body, he’s mesmerized every detail down to the bone like the back of his hand. He knows when he pushes you further into the bed, forcing himself deeper than before, how full he makes you feel. Your body is so honest when he does, how the way your legs tense and shake and your tummy bulges when he thrusts at that one angle.

It is a sight that has him breathing faster, and his tongue dipping out to lick his lips. He’s hungry, a thirsty and dying man before you. Feeling the way your walls squeeze him, coating his lower half in a layer of slick feeds him bit by bit, but the urging desire to already fill you up has his hips stuttering.

But right now, he wants to savor this. Savor the way your body lays beneath him, your mouth slightly ajar, hair tangled between his fingers as you cried with pleasure. You looked so pathetic with the way you choked on air, your hands pressed against his chest as you took everything he threw your way.

That’s why Nanami loved you. It wasn’t easy to submit yourself to someone, but you did, allowing him to give you all that he wanted. You were good for him, so good and so pretty. And prettier when his thrusts would finally come to a stop, when his body would pull away from your battered figure, his face pulled down and his eyes focused and just watch.

Watch the way your ass trembled, your body wracked with an uncontrollable shake as you came down from your high, better than the one before. And he’d groan, the deep guttural hiss audible in the quiet room that smelled of sex when finally, his cum slowly leaked from your twitching whole.

And Nanami smiled, his eyes brighter then before when his fingers pushed it all back into your cunt, carefully gathering every drop and slowly fucking his seed into you again and again. And he’d tell you in that sweet voice of his so quietly.

“what a waste.”

“it’s not enough.”

“one more time.”

as he takes you in bed, promising that the next wave of euphoria will be it for tonight. That your walls will finally taste nothing but of Nanami, his scent etched into your skin. But you know better. Once Nanami has had a taste, he can’t bring himself to stop, not when you’re crying for him, begging for his cock to stuff you full and breed you stupid.

so when you’re nearing you end and Nanami grows sloppy, his thrusts more frantic then before, he palms your stomach. His fingers trace the outline of his cock, dragging in and out at a delicious pace, his hand digging deeper and deeper until your writhing under his grip. It stings, but when his fingers press harder and harder, it forces him to hit that one spot that has your breath stuck in the back of your throat and thighs aching.

“gonna breed this pretty little pussy.” He breathes.

“til’ it’s full and heavy.”

He’s rational, logical and very decisive. But when he is high off of the adrenaline and pleasure that’s pumping through his veins, Nanami silently hopes that his cum will bleed into your womb, that your pill won’t repel his seed. That somehow, by some miracle, you miss your period.

And if you don’t?

Then the next time, he’ll look forward to doing it all over again.

[giorno-plays-piano]

Vicious

Part II

Pairing: Steve x reader, Bucky x reader, Thor x reader, Loki x reader, Peter x reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, stalking, possessiveness, theft, all characters are adults.

Words: 1891.

Part I

Summary: Transferring to Stark Academy that has only allowed to take in female students last semester, you realize you are just one of three young women among hundreds of students. Your things are constantly being stolen, and soon you begin fearing for your safety.

P.S. To avoid any confusion, I changed the name Savages -> Vicious.

________________________

The next day you spent doubting your own decisions. Was it really wise to leave everything to Steve? How could he find those students all by himself and deal with your problem? Could he really stop them from acting like that? You thought once again it would be so much easier to ask for a transfer, but you had already given him your word to meet him today at 5. It would be very inappropriate not to come when he was trying to help you.

When the time came, you were sneaking in the student council room as if you were some petty thief. You were afraid people would start talking: if everybody knew who stole your things, they would understand you came to Steve for help like a little girl. It was embarrassing - even in a situation like this. Besides, somebody could be following you since at 5 pm the academy was almost empty.

By the time you reached the right door, you heart was beating as if you had just run a marathon. You really, really hoped Steve found some solution, and you wouldn’t have to be humiliated by the student advisor for wanting to leave the school.

Opening the door, you saw a couple of students on the sofa and quickly stepped away, afraid the student council was still having a meeting, “Ugh, sorry!”

“Come in, please,” Steve said calmly behind the door, and you shyly got in again, watching four other guys staring at you with interest. “We’ve been waiting for you.”

“What, they too?” You were so perplexed by his words you forgot your manners, speaking of others as if they weren’t in the same room. “I’m sorry, I mean, I didn’t know you were involved.”

Wait, were they the ones who stole your things? Did Steve bring them here for you?

“No need to be so nervous.” One of them, a guy with long, jet black hair forming waves around his shoulders told you, motioning you to come closer and sit in one of the chairs opposing the sofa where he sat. “We’re here to help you.”

You remembered his name was Loki. A mathematic genius, he was considered one of the top students of the academy.

“That’s right! Come, come!” Seeing Peter among others was surprising, but his smiling face made you calm down a little, and you smiled at him in return. 

No, they weren’t those guys who stole your underwear, for sure. Apparently, Steve asked them to join you because they knew something and could give you a hand in finding those bastards.

“Thank you for agreeing to see me.” Feeling a little self-conscious among five different men you'd barely known, you landed on one of the chairs and saw that the other two were Bucky and a captain of the academy’s basketball team, Thor. “Did you find out anything?”

“Yes,” Steve said with a loud sigh, “I know exactly who they are. I can hand them over to the school’s officials and get them expelled by tomorrow, but that’s not the real issue here.”

You felt the chills ran up your back. What did he mean by the real issue?

“Is there something else?”

When you saw Loki smirking at you, you suddenly realized you were among five strong men in the student council room on the fifth floor where most classrooms were already empty. If you screamed, nobody would even hear you.

“Stop it.” Bucky’s angry voice cut through the silence, and you saw him literally burning a hole in Loki’s face. “Don’t make her scared, freak.”

Obviously, he wanted to say something offensive to Barnes in return, but Steve silenced them both with his icy glare. Loki sent him an innocent smile while Bucky snorted and rolled his eyes in irritation. It felt like they were in the middle of some school play, and you bit down on your lower lip, having a feeling something was going horribly wrong.

“The thing is, even if we got those ones expelled, it probably won’t stop the others from doing something similar.” Steve leaned up against a desk with his arms crossed over his chest. “I feel terrible admitting it, but many of our students are completely wild. I’m afraid they might keep harassing you.”

“Oh.”

You averted your eyes, realizing your attempts to find a solution were futile. Obviously, Steve could do nothing - he wasn’t a knight in shining armor, ready to protect you day and night from those delinquents who followed you everywhere. As you thought before, the one thing that could help here was leaving the school for good.

Shit, you didn’t know how to explain it to your family, Even your friends thought it was too bizarre to be true and laughed at your worries, saying you probably lost your things yourself. You would have to find a better excuse for a transfer in the middle of the semester.

“Well, anyway, thank you for trying,” you nodded and smiled apologetically at him as if it were your fault, “tomorrow I will talk to the student advisor about my transfer. Sorry for the trouble!”

“I don’t think it’s real to get transferred by now. It’s passed all the deadlines.” Shaking his head, Bucky raised his voice, and you felt suffocating.

Apparently, you would really have to skip a whole year of school. Explaining everything to your family, looking for some garbage job to have enough money to rent a room and pay your bills... Fantastic.

“You don’t have to do that. I’ve found another way.” 

Immediately, you raised your head, your pupils dilating.

“You see, the reason they are doing that is because you have no one to protect you. They know the administration won’t take it seriously because they’re a bunch of old misogynists, and you also have no means of protecting yourself. It would be better if you started dating someone, someone strong enough to make these guys back down.”

Steve looked deadly serious for someone saying such nonsense. A boyfriend? Now? Was he for real? Did he think you'd be using someone like your personal shield? Besides, even if you chose the strongest guy at school, it didn’t mean he would be stronger if several people attacked him.

But when you shared your thoughts with Steve, you saw others smiling at you as if they knew you would say that, and you felt uneasy.

“That’s true. That’s why you need more than one boyfriend.”

“What do you mean? How can somebody have more than one boyfriend?" Puzzled, you stared at him wide-eyed as if he said something stupid.

What on Earth did he mean by that? Were you to have your own squad of bodyguards at all times while you were in the academy? This was so foolish you couldn't believe someone like Steve said it out loud.

But then you caught glances of five men in the room and forgot how to breathe for a second. They weren't serious, were they? Steve didn't assemble all these guys here to make them into your boyfriends. It was preposterous even thinking of that, right?

Right?

"Please tell me it's not what I think it is." You muttered, crossing your arms over your chest as if trying to protect yourself.

"Why are you being so nervous?" Baring his teeth, Loki smiled at you. "Some other girl would be happy if five men were to be her boyfriends."

"It's a joke, right? You're all joking."

You hoped to see any of them laughing and nodding their heads, saying they simply wanted to cheer you up, but all you saw was a guilty expression on the faces of Bucky and Thor and the excitement of others. They really gathered here to offer you this.

"All of us here," Steve looked upon others, becoming a little displeased when his gaze fell upon smiling Peter, "are perfectly capable of helping you. If each of us were to accompany you one day a week, others won't be so brave. I'm sure they will no longer be a nuisance to you if they know what we can do to them."

There was something very dark in the way Steve said that, and for a couple of seconds you weren't sure whether you have to be more scared of him rather than those who was stealing your things.

"But it would be very uncomfortable for everyone, wouldn't it? I mean, going with me everywhere, not using your own time as you'd like. And, well, surely, others will see that we won't act like a real couple, so they might still keep harassing me. I don't think it would work."

Apparently, Loki was bored with this talk, you thought as you heard him clicking his tongue in annoyance.

"Then don't pretend. Act like a real girlfriend. Kiss in public, hug, go to the cinema together, what else girls do?"

"Wait, you mean, with ALL of you?"

"Yeah? Do you think anyone gonna be against it?"

You very much hoped they would be. Being followed by someone like your bodyguard was one thing, but having a real boyfriend was very different. Did they really want to pretend to be lovey-dovey with you? Act like you were close to them?

Oh. Of course, they would. They belonged to the same kind of touch-starved barbaric men they were trying to protect you from. They would do all those things to you, too.

You realized you were crying only when Peter flew off his seat in a hurry and squatted down beside you, taking your shaking hands in warm his.

"Please, don't cry. Nobody's gonna force you into doing anything, I promise. You will only do things you're comfortable with, ok?" Handing you his pearly white handkerchief, he smiled to comfort you. "No one of us gonna say anything."

"And if she starts dating one of us for real? What's then?" It was Loki again, cocking his head to the side and obviously provoking Peter to yell at him.

"We'll be ok with that, too."

The silence felt heavy. As you opened your eyes, Peter's handkerchief in your hands, you realized it was Thor who spoke for the first time, and the way he looked at you softly made you feel a little better. Despite the fact you knew little of him, for some reason, it felt like you would be safe with him - certainly safer than with Loki.

"Naturally, if any of us will bring you discomfort or do something unacceptable, you need to let us all know, and we'll decide what to do with that person." Raising his voice, the head of the student council made everyone to turn their head to him. "We will be meeting here, in this room, if anything happens. Each of us will give you our phone numbers. We will also make a schedule who accompanies you every day of the week."

It seemed he no longer asked for your opinion if you even wanted it to happen.

__________

"Bucky will be with you on Mondays, Loki on Tuesdays. Wednesdays are Thor's, on Thursdays Peter will be following you, and on Fridays it will be me going with you. Of course, if you need any of us to watch over you on weekends, feel free to contact whoever of us you like more."

Part III

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki   ​@helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin ​@inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherub @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @ximebebx @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sourpatchspinster @biiskuitx @iheartsebandchris @lovelydarkdaydream @soleil-dor @illyrianprincess @vampirestrawberries @stupendouslovegarden

[ghostficwriter]

Keep Your Heart Off Your Sleeve and In Your Chest Where It Belongs - Part 2: She Can Never Know

Pairing / Form: Kenny Omega x OFC / Drabble? Genre: Angst Warnings: Angst; presumed unrequited love, age gap mention (but everyone’s an adult) Word Count: 683 Plot: Kenny Omega thinks about all the reasons he shouldn’t be in love with the Young Bucks’ little sister, and all the reasons that no one can ever know he is.  Part 1 Epilogue

It seems like we always want what we can’t have. And even though he was internationally renowned, even though he was larger than life, even though he was revered and adored, Kenny Omega was no different. 

The allure of the forbidden not only made the object of his desires seem sweeter, it also tacked them permanently to the forefront of his mind.

It didn’t help that he saw her throughout the week at work and even on off days by virtue of their friendship. Wherever Kenny was, the Bucks and their little sister were likely to appear.

But just because feelings exist, and just because you can’t get them out of your head, doesn’t mean they should be acted upon.

And these feelings could never be acted upon.

Moreover, they might as well fill and consume his mind, because they could never be allowed to leave it. No one could know.

Why? A hundred reasons. A thousand. A mission reasons, but mainly these three: 

1. Her heart was already spoken for. They’d spent countless hours discussing their dedication to the ring, how they both considered themselves too focused on wrestling to take on a relationship. People accepted that from him more easily as a man, but he’d lost count of how many times she got asked about her marriage and family plans in interviews. No answer was ever good enough for them. When Kenny himself asked about that area of her life, she always shrugged it off. As someone who considered himself married to his craft, how could he ask her to not act the same?

2. He’d make a fool of himself. Just because he held an attitude of confidence - and sometimes cockiness - in the ring didn’t mean he truly saw himself as all that. Yes, he was a good wrestler. Yes, he had become a good businessman. Yes, he was told that he was funny, that he was charming, that he was handsome. But she deserved the best. Kenny still had some good matches in him, but she was a young, rising star. Which connected to the third reason, the one that weighed heaviest on his mind.

3: He was too old. Yes, they were both grown adults, but fourteen years was a big difference. And she’d been a kid when they first met. He’d never seen her that way - romantically - until years later, but what if she didn’t believe him? What if she saw him as a creeper, as a predator? And the internet would surely scour every interaction they had in the past, looking for hints of anything inappropriate. And speaking of the internet - what would they say about her being involved with an EVP? Yes, rumors like that would hurt him too, but the thought that people would accuse her of using their relationship to advance, that they would ignore all her hard work? It was devastating. It was infuriating. She already had to deal with dirtsheet accusations of her brothers only hiring her because they were family and her successes were scrutinized because he was her friend. How much worse it would be for a lover.  Of course, all of that what-ifing was pointless - it was never going to happen, so why worry about it? 

But if he wasn’t thinking about the what if’s and worries, he was thinking about her, her talent, her kindness, her eyes, her smile, her - see, this was the problem. Being around her so often didn’t help but he knew separation wouldn’t cure him - it never had with Ibushi.

So he would harbor his feelings safe and loud within his mind. He certainly couldn’t confide in the Bucks. Ah, the Bard was right: “the course of true love never did run smooth.” Ugh, how arrogant, how pompous of him to lump this one-sided pining in with true love. Maybe he was more like his in-ring character than he realized.

In any case, he would keep his feelings to himself. He would be a friend, a supporter, a mentor even, but never more. He could do it. He could do it for her.

[unfinshedsentec]

his love|| m. sano

tw: curse words( if that makes you uncomfortable), and suicide.

word count: 3.4k

character pairings: Manjiro Sano x you

This story will have 2 parts!! When I finish part 2 I will link it!!

Manjiro Sano was a very popular guy in school, especially since he was the leader of a gang. He often got asked out by women and men alike, but rejected them every time. He never could find himself falling in love with someone, despite the many people who wanted him. Maybe it was because he was almost void of emotions, or maybe it was because he was to scared to let himself fall in love. So, why out of everyone, did he fall in love with someone like you?

You were a perfectly average person. There really wasn't anything special about you. You had average grades, some "friends", you played soccer, you dated a guy or two, and you had a seemingly normal family life. So what was about you that made the Manjiro Sano fall in love with you? How could he fall in love with you, despite only knowing you for a few weeks?

Mikey just couldn't understand it. He didn't understand you, or this feeling he had for you. But what he did know is he that he loved the feeling. He loved the feeling of having something to wake up and look forward too, which was something he hadn't felt in years.He loved being able to see and and talk to you throughout the day. He loved being able to day dream about you and even he couldn't help but day dream about the day the he first met you and changed his life. Because it was that day that he met the person he'd soon fall in love with.

Flashback:

Mikey had once again, fallen asleep in the middle of class, like he did everyday. As he was sleeping his problems away, Mikey heard a sudden unfamiliar voice speak, waking him up.

"Hey, are you Manjiro Sano?"

"Yes I am, and who the fuck are you?", Mikey said, angry about being woken up from his daily nap.

"I'm Y/n, we're partners for the project", you said, while sitting down next to Mikey.

"Project?"

"Ugh......I figured you weren't listening", you said, annoyed at the blonde male in front of you.

"Excuse Me?!?!", Mikey said, already disliking you.

"Listen Sano, I know exactly who you are, but I don't care because there's no way in hell I'm doing this whole thing myself, so you better do your part of the project. That said, I'll let it slide this once and give you my notes, just be sure to give them back to me"

Mikey stared at you, shocked at what you said. In the years of going to school, not once was their someone who talked to him like that. But here you were, someone who he had never met before, just talking to him as if he was a normal person, not the 'Invincible Mikey'. If he was being honest, something about you immediately intrigued him.

"Hmmmm....fine. I'll copy your notes or whatever and I guess we'll split the project in half"

"Good, here", you said handing him your notes.

The both of you ended up spending the rest of your class going over notes and deciding who did what. When the bell rang, the both of you went your own ways and Mikey quickly forgot about you, until it was the end of the school day.

As Mikey walked out of the school with Draken, getting ready to do some gang stuff, he felt a hand on his shoulder, which pulled him back. The people around him went silent at this.

"Hey, who the fu-", he said, stopping himself when he realized it was just you, although, he could still feel Draken's angry aura from your blunt presence. "Y/n?"

"Sano! M-m-my n-notes....can I-I have m-my notes?", you said, out of breathe as your ran to catch up with him.

"Who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing?!", Draken said.

"KEN-CHIN, don't be rude"

"But-", Draken ended up getting cut off by Mikey's harsh glare and knew to no longer push it. Mikey then turned back to you with a kinder look.

"Ahhh sorry Y/n, here", he said, handing you your notes.

"Thanks Sano!", you said, giving him a bright, closed eye smile.

Mikey could feel his heart beat in a weird way by seeing your smile. He really couldn't tell why, but he felt something odd when it came to you. He'd never admit it, but he admired you for your braveness and liked the way you treated him normally, but he really didn't understand this feeling.

" No problem", he said before watching you run off, when he suddenly he remembered something.

"Wait Y/n!!!!"

"Hmmmm?"

"You, y-you don't have to call me Sano, just call me Mikey.....", he said, surprisingly shy.

" Okayy....See you later Mikey!", you said, before running home.

Mikey just admired you as you ran away. He couldn't help but watch you, there was just something so different about you that completely caught his attention and he loved it.

"Ohhhh Mikey..... Don't tell me you have a crush...." Draken said, smirking.

"FUCK OFF KEN-CHIN!!!" Draken just laughed in response, as they also went back to what they were doing before.

End of Flashback

Mikey happily sighed, as he though about you and the memories the both of you had together. He truly loved each and every memory he had of you, and they soon became what he thought about regularly. Oh, how excited, yet nervous, he was to confess to you soon.

Mikey knew that if was very unlikely that he had a shot with you. You never showed signs of liking him, and treated perfectly normally, which was what Mikey loved at first, but as time grew, he wanted you to see and treat him as something that was more than friends. Even worse, he had overheard your friends saying you liked some other guy in your school. And now here Mikey was, heartbroken and stuck in a one-sided crush.

That said, he still wanted to say something to you, because he knew he'd likely never have another chance to confess...at least not after tomorrow.

"Mikey! What did I tell you about day dreaming!!", you suddenly spoke, snapping the blonde out of his thoughts.

"Oh s-sorry Y/n, I didn't e-even realize you were there"

"Ahhhh....whatever, let's just get working, we have to turn this damn thing in tomorrow", you said, obviously tired of the project that the both of you had been working on for over a month now. Mikey on the other hand, tried sparking up a conversation, so he could ask you to meet up with him tomorrow, unfortunately, every-time he got distracted, you yelled at him and made him go back to work, and before he knew it the both of you were done with the project.

"Mannnn, I'm so glad that's done"

"Hahaha, yeahhhh......", Mikey said, nervously, which didn't go unnoticed by you.

"You okay? Your acting strange Mikey"

"Huh? Yeah I'm fine. Hey, uhhhh actually, can you meet me on the roof top tomorrow morning ?" At those words, your normal expression turned into a blank expression, full of nothingness.

"Yeah.......tomorrow……."

"Ahh, you don't have to, I just sort of need to talk to you about something...."

"......."

"Y/n? Are you oka-"

*ringgggg*

"Ah, sorry! I gotta go to meet up with my friends for lunch!" you said before frantically rushing out the door.

"Wait!", Mikey yelled out, but, unfortunately it was too late and you were long gone. Disappointment spread through Mikey's body, as he watched your figure get farther and farther away.

He wouldn't admit it, but he was scared, scared of you possibly leaving his life. This project was his only means of contact with you, and now that it's done, there's no reason for the both of you to talk.

He desperately, wanted to be with you again, and be able to talk to you and have some fun with you. He wanted it take you out on some dates, have late night drives with you on his precious CBT250, and maybe even bring you to some Toman meetings, but now, that may never happen. And that terrified him, but what could he do now? It was already too late, and there was no way Mikey could let his desperateness be shown to the other people around as he tried to chase you down. That was not an option.

"Well.....I guess I should go meet up with Ken-chin now", Mikey said to himself, before heading out the door and heading towards the roof to have lunch with Draken.

"Yo Mikey! Hey-uhhhh are you okay?", Draken said, noticing the blondes behavior. Mikey, had very quietly walked over to Draken with his head down and a shadow casting over his already blank eyes. It seemed that as soon as Draken spoke, Mikey seemed to also shrink into himself.

"I......don't really know.....", Mikey mumbled out.

"Oi Mikey.....just tell me whats up. I can help you..."

"I don't know......"

"Mikey, you can trust me", Draken said, while giving Mikey a small, subtle smile. Mikey just looked at him, before sighing and deciding to give into the tall, blonde male next to him, especially since he'd probably end up doing something stupid without Draken's advice.

"Well......It's Y/n. We finished the project today.....and I planned on talking to them about meeting up tomorrow so I could confess, but they left before I could say anything, and now I doubt I'll have another chance"

"Y/n.....hmmm.....didn't I drop you off at their house that once?"

"I don't remember"

"....Of course....Well, maybe I can try dropping you off at their house again, if that's their house, and you can try to confess then?"

Mikey's eyes immediately lit up at Draken's words. Excitement immediately bubbled up in the blonde boy again, and his expression finally turned back to a happy one. "Really Ken-chin? You'll really do that?"

"Yeah.....why not?"

"YOU'RE THE BEST KEN-CHIN!!!!"

"I know"

"Maybe......I could help you confess to Emma in return......", Mikey said, snickering. An angry, flustered expression immediately appeared on Draken's face in response. "FUCK YOU MIKEY!!!!!!"

"Hahahahhahahahah"

"STOP LAUGHING!!!!!!"

"I-I-I pftttt c-c-can't"

"Ughh, whatever, let's just get going, you need get flowers or whatever to ask them out right?"

"Oh yeah! You should get some for Emma too!"

"WILL YOU FUCK OFF ALREADY!!!!!”

"Nope!!!"

"Oh dear lord", Draken mumbled to himself, before dragging Mikey out of school and driving too the convince store.

2 hours later:

"Hey Ken-chin, what time do you think they'll be home?"

"Their probably home now!! You've been looking at the same damn flowers for the last 2 hours!! JUST PICK SOME OUT ALREADY!!!!!"

"But Ken-chi-"

"Here, do these, now let's pay, and go to their house", Draken said, while handing Mikey some random flower, headed towards the cashier, and paid. "Alright Ken-chin! Let's go!!!"

"Yeah whatever, it really should only be a 10 minute drive", Draken said, while starting up the engine to his motorcycle.

"Let's haul ass then Ken-chin!", Mikey said, before Draken sped off into the sunset.

__________________________________________

Like Draken said, it only took about 10 minutes before they arrived at your house. Mikey, couldn't helped but feel nervous as you looked at the place where he'd be asking his crush out. He may be the 'Invincible Mikey', but he was still scared of rejection. He already knew you'd say no, but he still desperately hoped you'd say. If only he knew what would actually happen.......

"What are you waiting for Mikey?”

"I'm still a little nervous"

"Relax, you'll be fine!"

"Bu-"

"No but's. Now go in already!!", Draken said, while shoving Mikey off his motorcycle. Mikey stumbled at first, but soon made his way up to your large, wooden front door and, after building up his confidence, Mikey finally knocked.

"Y/n! It's Mikey!! Can I talk to you for a bit?", he said, while still pounding on the door, but he received no answer. He didn't hear you yell anything back, he didn't hear any footsteps running towards the door, he didn't hear anything.

"Y/N!!!!!", he yelled again, but he still didn't get an answer, making him worry. Did something happen to you? Are you okay? Or did you just not want to talk to him? Either way, he was stressed out and worried about you. It didn't take long for him to start getting desperate to know everything was okay.

"Y/N!!!!! PLEASE OPEN UP!!!!!"

Nothing. There still wasn't any sort of sign of you. Mikey's concern for you grew with each second that passed. He could feel his stomach twist as he thought about all the possibly things that may have happened to you. But dear lord, he prayed, he desperately prayed that you were okay.

After desperately knocking on your door for over 5 minutes, and still receiving no answer, Mikey became extremely desperate to at least know you were okay and clearly knocking and yelling weren't working, so he tried the next best thing. He jiggled the front door handle to see, if maybe, by any chance the door was unlocked, so he could go in be sure you were okay. Luckily for him, the door just so happened to be unlocked.

Mikey frantically slammed the front door to your house open and ventured into your dead quite house. As he walked throughout the hallways and glanced inside some rooms, he saw no signs of anyone, let alone you. Mikey even started to thing that maybe, just maybe, he had overreacted and you just weren't home. At least that's what he hoped. Ohh, if only he knew how wrong he was.........

Despite his new thoughts, Mikey still decided to finish walking through your house, just to be sure everything was okay. He quietly walked into one of the last rooms he hadn't checked, the living room. Just like all the other rooms, the living room was dead quite and showed no signs of anyone whatsoever. But, as Mikey glanced through the living room, he noticed your kitchen just off to the side and decided to check in there too, though, he doubted he'd find anything.

As he quietly walked into your kitchen, he noticed something odd on the other side of your kitchen island. He noticed an opened bottle of Advil that was spilt all over the counter, and even onto the floor. Mikey wasn't dumb, he knew that was something was really weird about that, and immediately decided to check it out. But as he turned the corner, he saw your pale, unresponsive body lying in the middle of the floor, with some pills in your hand.

"W-w-what the fuck?! Y-y-y/n?!", Mikey shakily said, before bending down to your body. As he picked you up and pulled you into his arms, Mikey immediately noticed how cold you were.

"No, no, no, no, this c-can't be h-happening!!! C'mon Y/n, WAKE UP!!!", he said, while desperately shaking your body. Mikey was easily panicking. A horrible cold sweat broke out on his skin as each moment passed. His already panicked eyes, developed dark bags as he panicked more and more. His grip on you tightened as you still weren't responding.

"Oh god, why are you blue....", Mikey said, noticing the blue tint on your lips and finger nails.

"Y/n!!! Stop playing around and WAKE UP!!!......."

"MIKEY!!!! What's taking you so long?! Is everything okay?!", Draken frantically yelled. From the distance, Mikey could here Draken's rushed footsteps run towards where Mikey was, until he finally arrived and saw the horrific scene.

"Oh...god......"

"Ken-chin!!! T-they won't wake up! T-t-they're COLD!!!"

"Okay....uhhh, stay there with them, I'm going to call the ambulance"

"Okay, please hurry......" Mikey said, before turning his full attention back to you. Your pale face showed no signs of any sort of life, as you held a straight face and any sort of eye bags, and red tint to your skin was gone. There was simply nothing of you left. But, even then, Mikey couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe that you were dead. He wouldn't believe it.

"Y/n! You better wake up!! You can't be dead!! Actually, I'll help warm you up!!", Mikey muttered, while taking his black school jacket off and placing it over your already cold body, which only seemed to get colder with each minute that passed.

"Okay...uhh....the ambulance people said they'd be here really s-soon", Draken said, shook by the whole situation. Even he, who didn't know you, was terrified of the scene and tears slowly built up in his eyes as he looked at your lifeless face.

"Ken-chin, they're gonna be okay right? T-they have to be, RIGHT?!"

".........."

"KEN-CHIN!!!!"

"I-I don't know, t-they don't look so good"

"NO, no, no, no!!! They'll be okay!!", Mikey desperately said, trying to convince himself that you really would be okay, despite knowing deep down, that such thing wasn't true.

"C'mom Y/n! I love ya, y'know? So you have to wake up, okay???"

"Mikey.......", Draken muttered, hating seeing his best friend and mentor in such a state.

Many minutes passed of the painful, horrifying scene, when finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the ambulance finally arrived.

The doctors and emergency responders flooded into the house and came towards the area you, Mikey, and Draken were in.

"Sir, can you tell me what happened?", the emergency responder asked Mikey, who was still holding onto your body.

"I-I d-don't know. I came inside and t-they w-were already unconscious. They'll be okay right?”

"I don't know sir, but you have to hand them over to me....."

Mikey was hesitant at first. He was terrified of hearing the emergency responders tell him you were dead.....so, at first his grip on you tightened, but eventually the emergency responders convinced him to finally let you go.

Mikey's stomached twisted he saw them roll you away into the ambulance. He desperately hoped that you were okay. He needed you to be okay. But his heart sank into his chest as he saw the emergency responders stop doing anything with you.

"Hey, are they okay?!", Mikey said, rushing up behind the responders, with Draken tailing behind him.

"I'm sorry.....but they were already gone when we got here...."

Everything stopped as Mikey heard those words. He knew deep down that you weren't going to make it, but he still didn't believe it, he couldn't believe it. But now, there was nothing he could say to convince himself otherwise.

The ringing in Mikey's ears only got louder and louder as he watched them put you inside a body bag, making everything even more surreal. His breathing picked up as he fell on his knees.

"No, no, no, no!! Please no!!!", he said, sobbing out and gripping onto the place where his heart would be.

"Mikey......"

"Fuck!!! It hurts!!! Ken-chin!!!"

Ahh, yes, it hurts. Manjiro Sano was hurting so incredibly much that he no longer knew what to do with himself. All he could do was stare, and wish that you'd come back to him. He wanted to talk to you one last time. He wanted to touch you, and feel your warm skin. He wanted to at least be able to see you. But that would never be the case.

Because you were dead. Even, you, his love, was gone and forever would be. And now Manjiro Sano was left all alone.....without his love.

[juniorgman187]

Spoiled Rotten (Reid Fic)

Summary: After Spencer went radio silent on Reader while he was in prison, their pride and stubbornness threatens to tear them apart forever. Reader’s forced to mourn the death of who they were and experience the inner turmoil of navigating who they are.

A/N: Y’all are gonna kill me for the ending, but it’s one hell of a way to go.  Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid Category: Angst Content Warning: Imprisonment, humiliation, abandonment, anger, frustration, angst, yelling, fighting Word Count: 5.3k Playlist: Traitor by Olivia Rodrigo

Time jumps are indicated by “. . .” or “_ _ _”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

A rather unfortunate predicament we’ve found ourselves in tonight. I can’t say I’ve ever been quite this uncomfortable in my life, yet I’m careful not to speak too soon. Because I know the second Spencer opens his mouth to break the silence we’re currently sitting in, I’ll stand corrected. 

“You’re breathing really hard,” He tells me out of nowhere. 

See, I stand corrected. 

Now that I’ve become hyper aware of my own inhale and exhale, my respiration is just that much more restricted. I’m practically holding my breath at this moment - both from the anticipation of catching this unsub in the act and giving Spencer one less thing to scrutinize about me. 

“I didn’t say you had to stop breathing,” He tacks on as if it would put me any more at ease. Not that if he had explicitly said such a thing, I would’ve. 

Unlike other people, I wasn’t exactly jumping at the chance to throw myself at his feet so he’d like me. But to use that as grounds for his disdain would be foolish. Our rancor went deeper than the basic lack of synergy between us. 

And in the spirit of getting to the bottom of that abyssal pit, I finally asked the question with words that always seemed to hang above but never would form. 

“Why was I the only one denied visitation while you were in prison?” 

It may surprise you to know that it wasn’t always like this between us; we were actually close once, although it is hard to imagine that version of us ever really existing. However, if I think about it hard enough, I can remember with perfect clarity who we used to be. 

. . .

“Jeez, you really don’t like these things do you?” I nudged him playfully before feeling instantly guilty once I witnessed the result of my shove that must’ve been a little too much for all 120 (at most) pounds of him. I’d neglected to remember the strength I held over the lanky Doctor as well as neglected to notice where the trajectory of my push would land him - in the direct line of a circus clown walking the opposite direction as us. This, of course, brought him face to face with the character. Unfortunately, I managed to catch a glimpse of the lens of Spencer’s glasses grazing the white face paint of the caricature. 

After a shudder of mortification and a very brave shriek, Spencer ran to my other side to be as far away from the clown as possible and apparently, as close to me as possible. From a distance, you’d think we were conjoined simply by the way he was glued to me - shoulder to shoulder, elbow to elbow, hip to hip, thigh to thigh. 

While removing his glasses to clean them off with the hem of his blazer, he answered, “Carnivals? I mean, what’s not to like? What with the loud noises, the heart-attack-inducing food that’s more grease than actual food, or the sheer amount of bacteria harboring on each and every handle, hoop, ball, or button of these ridiculous game booths.” 

“Wow, you really don’t like carnivals.” I should’ve figured. 

“Nope. Never have and probably never will.” 

As someone who looked forward to the fair every summer of her childhood, any aversion to carnivals broke my heart. I had a fondness for them borne in adolescence that I couldn’t quite justify now in my adulthood. 

“But they’re fun!” was the best argument I could muster. The whine in my voice being provoked by the possibility that the higher the shrill of my pitch, the easier he’d be to sway. Turns out, Dr. Reid was not nearly as susceptible to my auditory persuasion as I might’ve thought he was. Just a stone cold, inconvincible slab of steel. 

“I’m sorry. I know you brought me here because you love these things, but I just can’t get past the ...” He surveyed the fair, ostensibly against his will, in search of the perfect word to describe our surroundings. “Filth.”

I would’ve argued in the defense of the carnival, mentioning how it’s endearing that the only bathrooms for miles were porta potties, and that the screaming, crying, sticky children galore just added to the attraction, and that there was a hidden charm to the way the roller coasters creaked beyond their means with every ride. 

But to an extent, I agreed. It was rather filthy, and I wasn’t much of a germaphobe myself so to someone like him, this would be hell on earth. 

“Well, you get what you put into it. If you’re willing to overlook some minor imperfections, I really think you’d enjoy this place.” 

Spencer by now had his hands in his pockets and his walking pace had slowed to a complete halt. There was a moment of skepticism, followed by a partially open smile to make way for the laughter that escaped from the disbelief that he felt for letting me break his resolve so easily. 

“Alright then. What do you want to do first, Brat?” 

The nickname I’d earned could be seen as meanspirited, but truly, it was affectionately diminutive. Like all good nicknames are. And like the proclaimed Brat I was, I’d taken him to all my favorite parts of the fair. 

First came the bumper cars to ease him into the experience - as ironic as that sounds. He was reluctant to submerge his gangly body into a mini vehicle, much less one that’d been inhabited by God knows how many people before us, but he pushed his reservations aside when he realized he’d get to slam into my car (safely, of course). 

Secondly, we went on the Carousel, but this was only in preparation for the real ride that I wanted to take him on next - the Swinging Chairs. He’d gotten a little nauseous, from both the repetitive circling and the galvanized chains he had to hold that were definitely held by several others. 

He had no interest in going on the Gravitron - super lame, I know - so we opted for the Ferris Wheel instead. I didn’t mind making this compromise so much after recognizing all that he’d done for my benefit that night. And for his generosity and selflessness, I thought it only fitting to end the night going somewhere so tame he couldn’t possibly have any opposition to it.

The photo booth.

The booth in particular we’d gone to was smaller than an airplane bathroom, if you can imagine that. The bench seat was barely wide enough to fit Spencer, let alone seat the both of us. While he didn’t explicitly make the offer to let me sit on his lap, it was kind of a give in that I’d have some part of my body intertwined around him like stubborn ivy. 

. . .

I still laugh thinking about the tangled mess of limbs we were below what the camera couldn’t capture. It was arguably the furthest extent of contortionist work I wanted to do in my lifetime, and henceforth exceedingly uncomfortable, and yet, I’d never felt more at home than when I was in his arms. 

That night he would tear off the top three photos to keep for himself while I kept the bottom three photos. 

To this day, I have never seen the pictures that he kept, and I’m left to wonder if he had them at all.

Because I still have mine. And they were virtually the only thing keeping me sane throughout his trial and subsequent imprisonment. 

Six Months Ago ...

My eyes were locked on the loose thread of my cardigan that I was rolling between my fingers anxiously. 

“Would you stop that?” Penelope swatted my hand away from my sweater. “You’re making me nervous just looking at you.” She grumbled. 

“Sorry,” I apologized bleakly.

A few seconds later she groaned again, making me think I was still doing something bothersome, but it turned out to be just the opposite. “Ugh, I know that sounded mean, and I hate when I sound mean, but I can feel my forehead creasing from the stress, and watching you fidget is going to give me an ulcer.”

“I wish I could help it. I’m just really worried about him.”

“Well I am, too, but that’s not gonna do us any good right now. All we can do is hope for the best.”

Sometimes Penelope’s overly optimistic view on life was futile and unwelcome, and truthfully, this was one of those times. 

“Penny?” 

As she turned her head, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the lenses of her dark green glasses. I could see my own mournful expression as I asked, “What if he’s found guilty?” 

She started to say something but stopped herself. “Right now, all we need to focus on is his bail. We can worry about a verdict later.” She put her hand on top of mine and shook it briefly to remind me that we were in this together. 

Moments later recess was over and the team came trudging back into the courtroom. 

The sound of the judge clearing her throat and our footsteps on the floor made this feel all too normal. 

How could Spencer’s life be hanging in the balance in such a place as non-intimate as this? 

It frustrated me how casual things felt today and how everyone was acting normally. Prentiss had yet to bat an eye, Rossi’s stoic expression never changed, and Penelope was telling me not to worry. Everyone was acting so aloof. 

My eyes darted to Spencer, who was looking back at us woefully. I couldn’t bear to see him like that any longer, so I kept my head down and stared at my feet after I took my seat. 

Even when I closed my eyes, I was haunted by the vision of him in a suit, just like one he’d wear to work. But instead, he was wearing it for this - this vastly different situation. 

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look at him the same in one anymore. I’ll probably just remember this particular look on his face, in this god awful courtroom, during this horribly nauseating circumstance. 

If one thing was for certain, it was that this would all come back to me if I ever laid eyes on him in a suit, and that thought fucking terrified me. 

Because that one thought spiraled into the next: Everything was bound to change after this. Every little thing would change in every little way. 

Spencer’s lawyer, the judge, and the prosecutor were going back and forth for a while, but I tuned it all out because I knew if I had tuned in, I wouldn’t have been able to hold back my arguments. Eventually, though, I heard something I could no longer ignore. 

“If past behavior is the best indicator of future conduct, and I do believe it is, then your client presents a flight risk.”

I stood up immediately, getting a head rush from the speed. I knew what was to follow, so I needed to be on my feet the second I heard it. Maybe so I could run and escape before I had to.

“Bail is denied. The defendant will remain in federal custody pending trial.” 

“Spencer!” I shouted, losing all the composure I’d been trying to maintain. I reached for him as if he was at any capacity to reach back and hold me. God, I needed him to hold me. Hold me like how he did at the carnival. 

Hold me.

Luke held me back as I fought to be near him.

“Let me go!” I screamed, trying to break free of his tight grip. Spencer could only stand and stare, mirroring my own wistful glance. He mouthed something to me that I couldn’t quite make out, but if I knew him at all, he probably said something about not wanting me to worry about him. 

“(Y/n), (y/n) it’s gonna be alright.” JJ reasoned, pulling me into a hug. 

“How long before this case goes to trial?” I heard Prentiss whisper to Spencer’s lawyer. 

“It’s a complicated case. I’d say three months maybe?” 

Immediately, I worked myself out of JJ’s arms and pushed my way through the team, running up to the barrier between us.

“Spence!” I cried out in anguish. 

To the sound of my voice, he glanced over his shoulder sadly. He wasn’t even shocked I’d been able to get so close to him - he seemed to expect it, and for that, he was sad. Because he knew if I was going to be as stubborn as to fight to get to him at this hearing, then I was going to be stubborn enough to reach him in prison, too. And should he find himself behind bars, he knew that I’d get to him one way or another. 

That is if he’d let me. 

“Be strong,” He weakly smiled. ‘For me’ his sad eyes begged in addition. He held my gaze for as long as he possibly could before disappearing into another room. 

As I watched him walk away, I could feel my heart shattering and crumbling into the pit of my stomach. Perhaps that was a premonition, a true gut feeling, telling me something I at the time couldn’t have known and wouldn’t have accepted. 

That was the last time I would see Spencer. 

People always say when something unbelievable happens, it doesn’t feel real, but this? Nothing felt more real and more intense than this. 

There was no other way for me to see this situation but as the first defeat in an endless line of them.

If Spencer was denied bail, what else could happen to him? Could he be found guilty too? Because prior to this, the denial of his bail seemed impossible. He posed no flight risk, but according to the judge, he did. So if what I once thought to be impossible happened, then it could and would happen again.

I knew Spencer was going to be found guilty.

What I didn’t know, though, was how I was going to live with myself from then on.

I didn’t go that day. 

I knew myself too well. So did the others, which is why they didn’t object to my decision not to come to Spencer’s trial. They knew I was better off staying home. Especially, if there was the chance that I might react hysterically again.

I didn’t stay home, though. That part the team never found out about. 

I went to visit Diana instead. A much wiser choice, in my opinion. 

“You know, we’ve been talking so much about Spencer today, but we haven’t talked about you yet,” said Diana. 

“Yeah, I guess that’s true.” I feigned a polite smile. 

“You thought I wouldn’t notice?” She tilted her chin downward and gave me that sly grin of hers. 

“No, no, of course not. I know better than to underestimate the Diana Reid.” I quipped, making her smile widen. “I just figured you’d wanna spend your time talking about someone much more interesting.” 

“Oh please, Spencer and I talk about you all the time.”

I perked up from the checker piece I was fiddling with. “You do?”

“Mhm,” She nodded over and over again. “I always knew there was something between you two because you could always talk about each other to me, but for some reason, you could never actually talk to each other.”

For the first time in months, I genuinely laughed and I couldn’t help it. “He makes me nervous! I always feel like he might correct something I say, or tell me that there’s food in my teeth.” 

“You know, now that you mention it, I do remember him saying something about seeing a really big piece of lettuce in your teeth one time.” 

“Diana!” I squealed, pushing the checkerboard at her, pretending to take offense. 

“I really don’t know what you’re so nervous about! I think it would be good if you just talked to him.” 

“It’s, um, it’s not that simple. Not right now, at least.” 

My energy quickly nose-dived and I tried to do my best to hide it from Diana, but it permeated through the rest of the visit. I couldn’t fully enjoy myself after it. 

The team and I all agreed not to let Diana know, especially not with the uncertainty of the case. There was no point riling her up if there was nothing to be worried about. And I could only imagine how I reacted - Diana would be reacting 10 times more hysterically. 

But as much as I hated to say it, I almost would’ve rather been in her position. 

I would give anything to un-know Spencer’s circumstance.

Present Time ...

In this car, there was nowhere for him to run or hide, not like before.

Anytime I so much as entered his gravity by being in the same room, he’d flee the space in the next breath. Granted, he couldn’t really avoid me entirely. We did have to be on the same flight for an extended period of time, but he made that work by letting me choose my spot first, then choosing a spot directly on the opposite side of the jet. 

What a gentleman, huh?

“Kudos to you, by the way. For managing to avoid me for this long. I imagine it’s been as not-easy as it has been incredibly-cowardly.” My words stung as they flowed from my lips as badly as I imagine they seared his already cracked skin. I couldn’t believe that now that I finally had the opportunity to talk to him, I was using it to be petty and passively aggressive. But then again, I could. 

Because after what he put me through, he deserved to feel the full severity of my indignation.

My only wish was that he knew exactly how I had felt when I found out. 

. . .

Icarus. 

He died tragically while using artificial wings, invented by his father, to escape from the Labyrinth. When Icarus flew too close to the sun, it melted the wax that held the wings together, and he fell into the sea.

‘Don’t fly too close to the sun.’ That’s the moral of the story. That’s what Reid was trying to tell me. But I didn’t listen. 

I flew too close. 

I had approached the window with more zeal than this predicament warranted. 

“I’m (y/n) (y/l/n). I’m here to see Spencer Reid, R-E-I-D,” I eagerly spelt his last name with ease as though it were my own last name. 

She’d flipped back and forth between pages, running her index finger up and down the sheet for far too long that it made me worry. Turns out, I had every right to be worried. 

“I don’t see you on the list, ma’am.” 

I was so mindnumbingly dumb that I couldn’t even see how dumb I was being. “Oh no no no, I’m with the FBI. I called earlier and left a message, remember?” 

“Yeah, I remember you,” She smiled politely, giving me the tiniest fragment of hope. “But you’re not on his list.” Only for it to be shattered in an instant. 

I had yet to process or accept this information. “So what does that mean?”

“It means he doesn't wanna see you right now. And frankly, neither do I. Next!” 

“Wait, could you just please check with him? My name is (y/n) -” 

“Ma’am, you are holding up a whole line of people that wanna see their loved ones too, so I suggest you see yourself out before I call security to help see you out.” 

I knew by her tone of the word ‘help’ that meant a prison guard would most likely forcibly remove me from the premises, and the last thing I needed was to feel even more humiliated. 

I got plenty of that when I had to come back to the BAU. 

“You’re not on the list?” Luke seemed genuinely shocked. More so than I was. Above all, I just felt really stupid. 

“I’m sure it was just a mistake.” Stephen reasoned. He was so good at being level-headed. Which normally, I would’ve loved. But right now, it only fueled the fire burning in my chest.

“That’s what I thought at first, too. But later on, she asked him herself, and he said - and I quote, ‘I don’t want to see her. Not now. Not ever.’”

. . .

Those were the words that seared my skin, and he hadn’t even spoken them directly to me to do it. 

The words that did just enough to heal me back to health were, of course, Penelope’s.

“Since you haven’t seen him yet, the rest of us will just wait until you have. It’s only fair that you have your first turn before the rest of us go back for a second time.” 

Back then, it was easy to hold out hope, but the more and more time passed, the more he kept denying my visits. Therefore, the more my hope began to fade. 

It had been weeks since anyone else had seen him before I finally surrendered. Although I had newly-brewing sourness towards Reid, it didn’t feel fair to deny him everyone else’s presence until mine was permitted. 

Luke was the one who volunteered to visit first. And to my dismay, Spencer didn’t fight against it. 

The proof was finally there. Now I could say with absolute certainty: Spencer just didn’t want to see me. 

It was both ironic and utterly frustrating to think about how I’d never gone more than two weeks without seeing him. Even when the BAU got time off after big cases, we’d always spend that time together. The longest we’d spent apart was 12 days. And right when he came back to D.C, we were attached at the hip for the next week, trying to compensate for all that time we were apart. 

Now, look at us. I haven’t said one word to him in half a year. 

If tragedy and comedy could coexist, this would be it. 

“How is he?” I asked Luke as soon as he got back. 

“He’s holding on,” Luke affirmed with confidence. What he said next lacked any of that. “He told me to tell you not to worry about him.” 

Something in me knew it was a lie. “Did he actually say that?”

His lack of an answer was one itself. 

“Did he say anything at all about me?”

“I tried telling him how much you wanted to see him, but he just brushed it off. I’m sorry, (y/n).” 

This became my routine for the months to follow. Every time someone would come back from the prison, I’d ask them if they talked about me, but the answer was always no. After a while, it had gotten to the point where I purposefully started leaving myself out of the loop. At least in that case, it was by my own volition that I was being excluded, not by a predicament being forced on me. 

Not by Spencer. 

“We’re not doing this right now,” Spencer declaration brought me back to the present, where I found him removing himself from both the conversation and the vehicle. When I heard the latch click to open, my hand reflexively flew to my auto-lock to prevent him from leaving. Naturally, he still managed to escape using his door’s button.

If I couldn’t stop him, then I could follow him. 

“Then when will we do this? Huh, Spencer? When? Because anytime I try to talk to you, you run away.” The mere fact that I was speed-walking after him was proof. While he casually strolled down the sidewalk paying me no mind, I tried to be clever and walk down the street so we’d be somewhat side to side. I was tired of staring at his back every time he walked away. I needed to see his face.

For his every stride, I had to take at least three steps. He was gliding through the world so effortlessly as I was trekking my uphill battle. It was quite fitting, though. Further exemplification that, between us, I was fighting harder to preserve the people we used to be, the relationship we used to have. Meanwhile, he couldn’t care less. A stone cold, inconvincible slab of steel. Just like he always was. 

As I began to speak, I had to also be conscious of the parked cars along the curb, being careful to weave in and out. 

“For months, you have blatantly ignored me. The entire time you were in prison, you denied my visits. And it’s not like it was a one time thing. I tried to visit you over 100 times while you were in jail! 100 times I got rejected. 100 times I got turned away. 100 times my heart shattered.” 

By now, I was speaking so loudly that I could see household lights within neighboring homes turning on. I hadn’t even realized how far we’d walked down the street and away from our car, but it was the last thing on my mind. 

“Then after you were released, it’s like I never even existed. I had to find out that you were out of there a week later than everyone else because they all assumed you came to me yourself to tell me the good news,” I laughed wryly at my own stupidity. “Do you know how hard it was for me?” 

“Do you know how hard it was for me?” 

It took me a second to register that he was actually engaging with me in this conversation now. But when I looked at his expression, I could see that something within him had snapped. A little piece of me was glad, though. Now I knew for sure that there was some effect I had on him. 

“Hard for you?”

“I know you came to visit me 100 times! Want to know how I know? Because I was there, too! I was there every time a guard came to ask if I wanted to see you. I was there every time I turned you away. And while you got to walk out of those doors every time I did, I was stuck in there, rotting in that cell, thinking about how badly I wanted to see you. How badly I wanted to touch ...” His voice faltered. “To touch you. But I had to protect you!” 

“You do realize in protecting me, you were hurting me in the process.” 

“Because you just don’t know when to leave well enough alone!” His hands tugged at the root of his unruly hair like evidence of the frustration that my stubbornness caused. “You’re such a pain in the ass because you can never cooperate! It’s gotta be your way or no one else’s! ‘Spencer, it has to be this way because I said so. Spencer, you have to let me see you because I said so. Spencer, you have to talk to me because I said so. Spencer, you have to ride this stupid roller coaster because I said so,’” His imitation of my nagging voice would’ve made me laugh before. Now, it was bringing me onto the verge of tears. “Since clearly no one’s told you this before - not everything is about you! You just want it to be because you’re a whiny, little brat! You’re so spoiled rotten that you can’t even see how far down it goes. If you did, you’d know that you’re rotten to the core and that nothing will ever satisfy you. Especially me.”

His words had done more than sear me. They pierced me. They ripped me. They destroyed me. When he called me Brat, I thought it was endearing. Now, looking back, I realize - no, that’s just how little he thought of me. 

As I came to the conclusion, I stopped dead in my tracks on the pavement. 

I was done chasing Spencer.

His face had fallen from its anger, indicating he was apologetic, but I was beyond accepting his sorry excuses anymore. I couldn’t stand to look at him so I looked behind me to find our car at least a football field away. I guess in many ways, I’d gone the whole nine yards. 

“This is what you wanted right?” I turned back to him momentarily. My voice scared me how calm it was because, inside, I was boiling with rage. “Well, here you go, Spence. Have all the fucking space you want.” 

It was usually me watching his back while he walked away, and now, he was watching mine. 

“(Y/n), wait!” 

And for the briefest second, it actually felt good to be the first one to leave. 

I was free. 

_ _ _

To my dismay and relief, when I walked into work the next morning, he wasn’t there. I would’ve looked for him with more than a cursory glance except I was stuck on looking at something strange in the bullpen that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. But as I walked further in, a blaring siren went off in my head. 

Spencer’s desk is completely empty. 

I instantly sorted through my purse for my phone to reach Prentiss when I noticed something more. 

I had been desperate to cling onto any notion that he still loved me, and there it was, just sitting on his desk. Proof that the man I loved was still in there somewhere.

The top three pictures from the carnival photo booth.

I laughed, as I always did, thinking about how much we had to exert ourselves to be positioned in a semi-adequate way. In the next wave, I felt profoundly empty. He had kept the pictures all these years, and now that I finally get to see them, he’s left me.

As I brought my hand to my face to clear the tears pooling at my lower lashes, I saw that my finger had an ink smear on the pad of it. There was nowhere else I could’ve obtained it except for if there was writing on the back of the photos. 

What I read when I turned it over was as follows. 

I want to be this guy for you again, (y/n). I just don’t know how. 

I just don’t know if I can.

No matter how much I’ve changed, one thing’s still the same.

I love you. 

I should’ve focused on the message, but all that I could focus on was that if I managed to smear the ink, that meant it was fresh, written just now. 

He was still here. 

I pocketed the photos and abandoned my purse, only carrying with me the phone that I forgot to use to dial Prentiss. After a moment’s indecision, I figured that taking the stairs would be faster than the elevator, and I bounded down the steps without hesitation. 

“Spencer!” I yelled into the parking structure when I reached the ground floor. The sound of me bursting through the door caught the attention of Anderson, who was getting out of his car. 

“I just saw him leave.” Anderson threw his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the exit. I knew, even in my state of mind, there was no feasible reality where I could reach him on foot. I had to call him. 

I pleaded to myself for him to pick up with every ring of my phone. 

“(Y/n),” He said like a statement instead of a question. Again, he’d anticipated I’d do this. He probably picked it up not even having to look at the caller ID but knowing it was me and no one else. 

“I don’t need you to be the guy you were before, Spencer. I just need you to bend a little bit. I know we’re both stubborn people, but if we can just find a halfway point-”

“(Y/n), (y/n),” He was settling me and the sentences that were coming out of my mouth at 100 mph. 

“I’ll bend if you bend.” I promised. 

The static of the call filled my ears until his voice finally did.

“For everyone else, I bend ... for you, I break.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

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[forever-rogue]

17 on the angst section of list #2 for whiskey please 🥺

Anything for you, my love 🥺💕 Please enjoy...and ugh...angst time?

Prompt: “Are you upset with me?”

Agent Whiskey x Fem!Reader ; warnings: angst

Pedro Characters Masterlist 

»»————-　♡　————-««

It had been a while since you'd heard from him. Too long. Hours too long. It was supposed to be a simple mission - easy in and easy out. But here you were, alone, worried and waiting - waiting, waiting, waiting. 

You'd busied yourself with cleaning the apartment you shared. When that was done, you'd set about asking dinner, even going out of your way to make Jack's favorites - including dessert. But even that didn't take too long and soon enough your mind was wandering. Every dark thought that you had pushed to the recesses of your mind started to bubble to the surface.

What if something went wrong? What if Jack was hurt? What if the mission was compromised? What if -

No. No. No.

You weren't going to think about that.

Sighing heavily, you padded to the bathroom in order to take a bath. Maybe that would take your mind off of things. Probably not, but hell, it was worth a try. 

Turning on the tap, you made the water as warm as you could tolerate before filling it up with bubbles and oils. This particular one was your favorite; Jack had bought it for you on a mission in France. With that thought brought front and center you huffed at yourself. 

Stripping down and discarding your clothes on the floor, you quickly slipped into the comfort of the warm water. An audible moan slipped past your lips as you submerged your entire body, remaining under the water under you could no longer hold your breath. 

Breaking through the water, you laid against the back of the tub and stared at the ceiling. Physically, your body felt relieved, the ache of the day slowly leaving your body, but mentally, you were still buzzing like crazy.

What would you do if something happened to Jack? If something happened to him you would ever forgive yourself. If he-

"Fuck," you groaned at yourself. Running a hand over your tired face, you quickly formulated a plan. Well, it wasn't as much of a plan as a rash idea. But at this point you needed something to cling onto.

You'd texted and called Jack throughout the afternoon and everything had gone unanswered. But you wanted - needed - answers. And you'd be damned if you weren't going to get them. 

You hastily stood up and stepped out of the tub, almost slipping and falling on the water that had sloshed out on the tile floor. It didn't matter though, as long as you got what you needed nothing else mattered.

»»————-　♡　————-««

You practically stormed into the Statesman Headquarters, dressed in sweats and an oversized hoodie, hair still messy and damp from your bath. No doubt something akin to a mad woman, but right now you didn't care. 

"Ginger!" it was getting later and the building was quiet, but you practically shouted at her, causing her to almost fall from her seat. She clutched at her heart as she settled down and gave you a wide eyed look, "where's Jack? Have you heard from him? Do you know if he's okay?"

"He's fine, honey," she promised, swallowing nervously as you gave her a curious look. If he was fine...why...why hadn't you been the first to know? 

"I've been trying to call him and text him all day and...I-I-I haven't heard back from him," you pouted slightly as you wondered what on earth could have caused such a mishap, "Ginger...what's going on?"

"Jack got back a little bit ago," her voice was soft as her eyes flicked down the hall and in the direction of his office. She wasn't normally like, all nervous and quiet, and you could tell there was something she wasn't telling you, "he's probably just catching up on a few things before coming home to surprise you."

"Ginger," her name off your tongue was low and predatory as you slowly took a step back in the direction of his office. She stood up and opened her mouth to say something but nothing but silence met your ears, "what are you hiding?"

"Don't-" and with that singular word, you dashed down the hall, wanting to know once and for all what the hell was going on with everyone.

As soon as his office came into view, you could see the outline of his figure through the softly frosted glass. A smile started to tug on your features when you realized he was actually alive and well. But your fleeting happiness came to a crashing halt when you saw he wasn't alone.

No - there was another figure, this one noticeably smaller and feminine in appearance next to his. Or rather, wrapped up in his arms as he kissed her. You stood there in silent horror as your heart dropped. 

It was just a kiss right? But then...why was he lifting her on his desk, as he has done to you many times in the past? Why did he keep kissing her? Why did he allow her to strip off his jacket? Why was he reached for the zipper of her dress? Why-

"Honey…" Ginger's voice was soft as she grabbed your hand and started to pull you away. Tears were streaming down your face as you stood there frozen, a few small whimpers escaping your lips. Eventually you gave in and let her pull you away.

"You knew," it wasn't a question - rather a biting accusation. Your lip trembled with effort as you tried not to cry and completely break down. The beautiful, glittering ring on your left ring finger, only there for a few weeks at this point, suddenly seemed to weigh you down, “you knew and you didn’t say anything. You let me walk in and see that. H-how long?”

“I know it seems bad,” she seemed genuinely upset as you looked at her, your voice cracking with each word until you were almost broken, “but I-I swear I’ve never seen him with another woman or man before. H-he said she was here for business. I didn’t think...I didn’t…”

“Do you mean it?” an ugly sob racked your body as you tried to figure out if it was possible that this was some sort of business venture, that perhaps this was still some odd part of the mission. But even though you prided yourself on being an eternal optimist, you knew this wasn’t what it was. No, despite what the world may or may not have known, Jack had always - always - promised that he would never kiss, touch, or bed another in furtherance of work, a mission, anything. He hadn’t been lying then...or perhaps he had been the entire time, “Ginger, please tell me you mean it. I can’t have my heart broken again.”

“I swear it,” she promised and you could tell she meant it. Either this was the first time, and he’d been careless in not getting caught, or it had been a time thing in a slew of many, and he just happened to be careless for once. You nodded slowly before moving to push past her, “I’m so sorry…”

“Me too,” you whispered as you left without another word, not even bothering to hide the fact that you were sobbing. Your whole world was slowly crashing down around your shoulders; each step away from the building was a fateful reminder that nothing would be the same. 

All you wanted to do was go home and forget; forget that you’d seen anything, forget that Jack had betrayed you, forget that anything from your seemingly idyllic life was out of place. 

But he was everywhere, in everything. From the pictures that greeted you as soon as you walked into your apartment to the touches of decor that were pointedly him, to the clothes that hung in your closet, to the bedsheets that smelled like him. Everything. 

In a fit of rage, you grabbed a few of the pictures off the wall and smashed them into a hundred, million tiny pieces onto the floor. Soon enough, the images of the two of you were distorted by the tiny shards of glass - or perhaps it was the tears that you kept blinking back. 

Thoroughly exhausted and wanting to sleep this day away, praying you’d wake up and find it was all a dream, you tore the blankets and sheets and pillows off the bed and threw them into a pathetic heap on the floor. At least his smell didn’t linger on the mattress. But before you were satisfied, you went into the closet and followed suit with his clothes, refusing to let yours rest next to his any longer. 

Maybe it was rash - dramatic and immature - but you didn’t care. Jack had broken the one rule, the one promise, he swore he would always keep. He had been a good man, an honorable man, and you thought you could always trust him. Now you just had one lingering question left.

Where did the lies start and stop?

Before you dragged your aching bones to the bare mattress, you pulled off the engagement ring and set it on the kitchen countertop, right where he would easily see it. 

You were a believer in second chances, in giving people the benefit of the doubt but this...this was exactly what it appeared to be. You knew that deep down. 

»»————-　♡　————-««

It was dark when Jack came home, not that he had been expecting you to be up and waiting for him. It was nearing three in the morning and he knew you to work that day. The crunch underneath his boots caught him off guard and he quickly flipped on the light switch to see what the disturbance was. 

A frown crossed his features when he saw that it was several photographs of the two; his heart leapt into his throat as he worried that something had happened or someone had broken in. 

But no - nothing else looked out of place, and the door had been locked and the windows were closed. No signs of any type of break in. Huffing lightly, he stepped further inside, stripping off his boots once he was past the glass shards, a gleaming from the kitchen caught his eye. His brow furrowed as he walked over and saw that it was...your engagement ring. 

His heart raced as he swallowed down the lump in his throat. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What was going on?

Padding quietly down the hallway, he nervously pushed open the door to your bedroom, and spied you sleeping, curled up in a ball, with no blanket or pillows. As he stepped inside, he almost tripped over the mess of sheets and clothes on the floor. 

Oh no.

The door creaked slightly, causing you to wake up from your slight slumber. You hadn’t really been sleeping, not much anyways, The little bit of reprieve you’d found were plagued with nightmares and bad dreams.  You sat up slowly, hunched over and pathetic as you wiped at your eyes. 

“Sugar...are you upset with me?”

“How long Jack?” your throat was dry and scratchy as you stared directly at him, trying to read his body language. It was dark, but the light was filtering in behind him and casting him in an odd haze. He stiffened immediately when he realized you knew. 

“You don’t-”

“How long Jack?” you repeated, this time more firmly and with more conviction, “was she the first? Or another in a long line of many?”

“Listen you have to-”

“Answer the question, sugar,” every word was filled with venom as you wished he could scream and shout or something - and tell you that you were mistaken and that there really was a truthful explanation for what you had witnessed, “was it for work? Because I will still be pissed because we agreed that it would never come to that, but at least what I would understand. Please tell me that’s what it was.”

“I…” he started and quickly cut him off. He wished he could lie to you and tell you it was for work. Gods, he had already been lying to you, but for some reason he couldn’t do it anymore. You nodded as the tears streamed down your face, “I love you. I really do, and you’re the only one I truly want. Please understand that, sugar.”

“I wish I could believe you,” your voice was a small, pathetic thing, “I really do. Because I loved you - I still do. I thought...all this time, all these years, that we were building a future - our future - together. I know things haven’t been easy for you, Jack, I know. But I thought...I thought this one thing I could trust you with. It was the only thing I asked of you.”

“I love you, that is one thing that is true,” he tried to take a step closer, but you held up your hand to stop him.

“No, you don’t,” you whispered, “if you didn’t, you wouldn’t have done this. To lie to me, to sneak around. How many others were there? How long? You know, it even would have hurt less if you’d say something like hey, I want to have sex with other people or hey, can we try this or that. But to not say anything and do this? That’s the worst. When were you going to tell me? We were supposed to get married, Jack. Married.”

“I know,” he took in a long rattling breath, “I...I wish I had a good answer for you, but you have to-”

“The fact that you have nothing to say for yourself, tells me everything I need to know,” you spat at him, “I wish I knew what it was. Was it me? W-was...was I not enough for you?”

“You are everything-”

“Yeah?” you asked bitterly as he nodded, “then why did you do this Jack? Why? Why? Please just say something. Anything.”

“Sugar…”

“Don’t,” it was a soft, broken whisper as you shook your head, “don’t ever call me that again. Just get out. Please. Just leave.”

“Listen, you have to do-”

“I have to do nothing, Jack Daniels,” you laughed bitterly, “but you need to leave. Just go. I...you can come and get your things when I’m at work. I just...I don’t want to see you right now.”

“Okay,” he agreed quietly, turning around to head, lingering in the doorway for a moment, “I am sorry, you know.”

“Sorry for what you did, or sorry I found out?” he remained silent at your question as you shook your head, “just go Jack.”

“I love you…”

“Just go,” you cried softly, “get out and never look back. I never want to see you again.”

“Sugar-”

“Get out,” it wasn’t filled with emotions or tears, no - that’s not what broke his heart further, it was that fact you sounded so empty, so hollow, “goodbye Jack Daniels.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

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