#so many ships n mulan still got nothing

[the-witch-of-woods-beyond]

honestly? honestly i never got over them writing the most tragic and gutwrenching arc for sleeping warrior where aurora reveals her pregnancy just as mulan is about to confess her feelings, leading to her going on the run with the the merry men because she can’t watch the woman she loves love someone else, only for them to give her yet another sapphic storyline where she trains merida to fight and the two of them then go on to join ruby in a throuple and not a single one of them were endgame. what the fuck!

[damn-stark]

Child of Ren Ch.9

A/N- I don’t know why I thought of this because this specific comment has nothing to do with this chapter, but Reflection from the Mulan soundtrack reminds me so much of reader, anyway that’s all, enjoy the chapter and let me know what you thought!

Warning- Violence, light swearing, angst, talks of death, loong chapter

Pairing- Poe Dameron x Reader x Rey, Kylo Ren x Reader (platonic)

Takes place: After TLJ & before TROS

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

———

(POE DAMERON P.O.V)

What could he do?

What was he even thinking?

Their was too much on his mind, too many thoughts on the whole situation. Finn, BB8 and him had just escaped...well not escaped, but set free from being The Knights of Ren’s prisoners. And it was only thanks to one person...y/n. The exact person he was having trouble with. But he also knew that without her they wouldn’t have escaped, that’s where his trouble was. There and the fact that she had hid the truth of who she really was. The Child of Ren.

Finding that out from someone else that wasn’t her made him upset, finding that she didn’t tell him hurt him, it made him angry. More angry than knowing that she was in fact The Child of Ren, perhaps that fact should anger him too, make him beyond angry, it should make him just forget about her and leave her behind, but the truth was that it didn’t make him angry as much as the knowledge that she hid that truth from him.

The truth was that he didn’t know why that angered him more, why her hiding the truth upset him more. It shouldn’t, but it did...maybe it was because what he felt for her, the undeniable feelings that he knew he had for her, it was more than a liking or a lust for her....well it was both really, but he knew that he was feeling something more than just those two. That’s also the reason why he knew that he couldn’t leave her behind. Not after what he told her earlier today or what he found out later that day. As upset as he was, he couldn’t leave her behind, that just wasn’t him. He wanted to go back for her.

He was going back for her.

“Poe, what are you doing?” Finn asked as he noticed the ship turning the opposite way, the way they had just miraculously escaped from.

Poe muttered to himself, his friends concern going to the back of his head as he had trouble with the control board. “Do you think this ship has weapons?” Poe later asked, raising his head and flipping switches up top.

Finn just stared puzzled, “what? Poe, what are you doing?” Finn continued to look at his friends actions, seeing as he frantically searched the control board for something. “Poe, are you listening to me?”

“Ah, here they are.” Poe mumbled as the board swiftly turned longer, revealing buttons and toggles for weapons. Finally he turned his attention to Finn, “what?”

Finn shot him a narrowed look, “what are you doing? Why are we going back?”

“We’re going back for y/n.” Poe admitted, pulling his eyes back to the view ahead, ignoring the way Finn looked at him in disbelief and disapproval. “Look”

“No, you look,” Finn interrupted, “those are The Knights of Ren, Poe. The Knights of Ren. They won’t hurt her, but they will hurt us.”

“She won’t let it happen.”

Finn let out a deep exhale, “I know you like this girl, but she’s better off there, her home. You know who she is now. She’s not some ex-smuggler or spice runner, she’s a first order commander, she’s The Child of Ren.”

“Yeah I know, I heard.” Poe sighed, “but I can’t just let her leave, even after finding out who she is. That’s a problem for another time. Now, we have to get her back.” Poe paused for a couple seconds, recalling to the conversation he had with Y/N earlier that day. “That’s not her home, she said it her self and you heard them. They’re going to brainwash her, I can’t just leave knowing they’re going to do that to her. Even after knowing who she is.”

It was true, he couldn’t let her go back, even if he was upset with her, he couldn’t let her go back.

“She also said not to go after her! She specifically told you not to do so.” Finn argued.

Poe shrugged, and turned to his friend, “I know.”

Finn let out a defeated groan, “I’m not going to win this am I?”

“No.” Poe nodded, “plus what will Rey say when we come back with y/n’s ship, but no y/n?”

Finn didn’t answer and only shook his head, standing from the co-pilots seat to leave the cockpit, going off somewhere. BB8 rolled in seconds later, beeping complaints on what had happened to him before. “Yeah I know buddy, I’m sorry, didn’t want them to do that to you, but they did. Y/N saved you, you were about to be spare parts.” BB8 beeped urgently, asking where she was to thank her even if as he put it “still had differences”. “We’re going to her.” Poe informed his droid.

Finn came back around, holding a blaster rifle in his hand, y/n’s blaster. “If we’re going to rescue her, then we’re going to need this.” He said with a small smirk, lifting the blaster. Poe quirked his eyebrow and looked at Finn with a questioning look.

“Her blaster rifle? I mean, I guess, but we have cannons attached to the outside of this ship.” Poe shrugged.

“No, watch.” Finn slid his finger from the trigger and to a hidden button on the side of the blaster, “as great as she is, she’s not great at keeping things hidden.” Finn then pressed the button, the blaster swiftly retracting within itself and turning into a lightsaber hilt.

“Finn, buddy I don’t think you should—” Poe’s words were quickly cut as he jumped back at the sight of a raging, unstable, crimson red blade appearing from within the hilt. “Be careful with that thing.” BB8 rolled behind Poe’s legs at the sight, scared for what the outcome could be with Finn holding such a weapon.

Finn gripped onto the lightsaber with both hands and a small half grin showed on his lips, “this is how we’re doing this.”

—

(Y/N P.O.V)

Fear was overcoming every single emotion in your body, your whole being was on edge, not because you were going back to the First Order but because you were going to see Kylo again. You haven’t seen him since you left and you didn’t want too...well part of you did, but for the most part you didn’t. What would happen if you did? One thing is for sure, you wouldn’t run to hug him or jump for joy. Would you try and kill him? Hurt him?

“Hungry?” Trudgen asked snapping you away from your thoughts. You shot him side-glance before turning your body away from him. “You’re still mad?” He sat at your side and passed the bowl of heated food.

“I rather hear Ap’Lek’s never ending stories about his latest conquests than sit next to you.” You snap with a venomous tone.

Trudgen clicks his tongue and sets the bowl on your lap, “now come on y/n, I didn’t do anything to you, it was Ushar.”

A small growl escapes your lips before you grip onto the bowl and spin around to face him, “it doesn’t matter you were still there.” You follow by throwing the food on him and attempting to storm out of the room. Before you could though Vicrul blocks your path. “Get out of my way.” You growl.

He pushes you back and you only get angrier, sporting a cold glare. He tilts his head slightly before placing a hand on the side of your head; “someone’s got to teach you some manners.” He threatens. You try and fight back but you’re quickly beginning to lose balance, your eyesight beginning to blur before your eyes roll back and everything goes black.

~

You let out a loud gasp as you sit up, a pounding headache making itself known, and the anger you felt before returning to overcome your feelings once more. Once you could see clearly again you noticed that you were still in the Night Buzzard. But this time something felt off, out of place. You swung your legs to the side of the bed, instantly catching sight of the smoke beginning to enter the room. You summoned your lightsaber to your hand and it flew from the floor to your hand....

...but...that’s weird...it was in the freighter with Poe and Finn—you examined the lightsaber for a brief moment before shrugging off the problem and standing to your feet. The smell of smoke was starting to sting your nose, causing your headache to worsen. You shrugged off that problem and began to stalk forward, gripping on to the hilt of your lightsaber more firmly. As you exited the room and entered the hall, you saw sparks fly everywhere, the smell of smoke worsening as you continued and made it to the main room.

Immediately you were welcomed with a familiar presence that you hadn’t felt before, a presence that you knew too well. You continued to move forward, and saw the table that once was attached to the floor was now on the other side of the room, broken in half, the holo-computers that once decorated the walls were now destroyed, sparks flew from them while one had fire burning from it. The knights nowhere to be seen. You continued to stalk forward, but quickly halted as you saw your boot step on...blood.

You let out a shaky breath before slowing looking down, your eyes immediately catching sight of...Poe, laid on the ground. You feel your heart drop and your breath catch in your throat. The sight of blood trickling from his mouth and blood flowing from behind his head made you step back in horror, only to be stopped as your heel bumped into something. You gulp as you hesitate to look down, but ultimately do, seeing Finn and....Rey, the blood coming from their heads and their mouths just like Poe.

Theirs nothing your mind could come up with at first, nothing that explained what happened or why Rey was here splayed on the ground along with Poe and Finn. All your mind knew was the panic, fear and confusion you instantly felt as you saw them. As you were going to check on them, to know if they were alive...or dead you froze, the previous familiar feeling looming behind you now. You didn’t want to turn around to see who it was, you knew already and you didn’t want to see him.

“They’re dead.” He deadpanned, making your eyes water and your bottom lip to tremble, he walked closer behind you, “it was you. You lost control and killed them.” His deep voice revealed making you immediately go in denial and grip onto your lightsaber tighter as you felt him behind you.

You shook your head and mumbled, “No.” a tear slipped from your eye before you moved to wipe it off, your mind wanting to believe that it was Kylo who had done it and not you. It couldn’t be you. You couldn’t have killed your friends. Your only friends. “It was you!” You accuse in a sharp voice as you spin to face him, your thumb hovering over your sabers button. He only looks down at you with an emotionless gaze, his hands clasped behind him and his shoulders squared and stiff.

“Look at them. They have no lightsaber wounds, it wasn’t me, it was you. You lost control and destroyed this ship and killed them. You killed your friends.”

You blinked repeatedly your head not wanting to grasp the thought and reality of what had happened. Every part of you wanting to believe that Kylo had killed them and not you. But you knew that wasn’t true, as much as you could deny it, or lie, it was you, because you lost control.

It took a minute as you tried to process everything, you sat in silence as you could hear your heart break in your chest, as one of your biggest fears came true. Tears kept flowing down and silent sniffles were heard in the room, Kylo attempted to pull you in for a hug, but your reflexes acted quickly and caught his arm. You pulled your eyes up to him and glared him, your mind remembering something he had taught you...turn pain into anger. Turn pain into anger. You twisted his arm and force pushed him back, raising your leg off the ground a couple inches before stomping it on the ground and igniting your unstable lightsaber all in the same time.

“I told you I was going to kill you for what you did to my father!” You pointed at him with your lightsaber, your glare basked by the crimson red blade, “I didn’t forget. You’re going to die for what you did.” You hissed as you ran forward before jumping up and swinging down at him, only to be met by his lightsaber crashing into yours, raging sparks wildly flying everywhere.

“Let your past die y/n. Stop holding on.” He growled as he pushed you back, causing you to stumble before you regained balance, the scowl that decorated your face turning deadlier at his words.

A single tear escaped your eye before you lunged at him, quickly being met by a swift block. You pushed the lightsabers up before twisting them and moving your free hand to snatch his lightsaber from him; followed by then moving your saber behind you and lunging his into his chest. He didn’t react with any noise, he just froze, his eyes just slid them down to see his unstable blade disappear from his chest and retract back into his lightsaber.

Realization then hit you, your anger disappearing and your eyes widening in horror as you dropped the now deactivated lightsabers to the ground. Kylo looked at his deadly wound and then at you in disbelief, before sliding to the ground, a hand falling on his wound as blood poured from it. You only stood frozen like a stoned statue, no feelings decorating your features, only the same look of horror in your eyes, not until Kylo coughed up blood did you react, snapping your eyes to what you had done before falling on your knees beside him.

You moved your hands to his wound, but you were utterly clueless on what to do, tears flowing from your eyes as you muttered to yourself, your mind unable to grasp what you did. If you heard your heart breaking in your chest before, now it was the only thing you could hear, echoing loud and cracking until their was nothing left to break. “No.” You mumbled. You blinked up to Kylo, to see his eyes only half open, his face paler than before, a look of betrayal painting them.

He grabbed onto your hands only for them to fall limp seconds later, a last breath of air escaping his lips before his head dropped to the side, his eyes lifeless and his heart without rhythm. You only shook your head before crawling closer to him, your ear falling on his chest to try and hear something, only to be disappointed as you heard nothing. Your breathing quickened and hot tears flowed down your cheeks as you rested your forehead on his.

“please don’t leave me..Kylo..please. I can’t lose you. Not you. Please...I’m sorry.” You sobbed. “No....please.” You killed him. He was dead, gone, the only person you had, the only person who was never afraid, who could help you remain in control, who you loved was gone. No. No.

~

“No!” You bellowed, snapping to reality, and shoving Vicrul back. “Get out of my HEAD!” You strode towards him, using the force to raise him over the ground and pushing him to the wall.

He snickered under his helmet, “it wasn’t my fault you’re weak, and your mind is easy to get into.”

“I’ll kill you.” You grimaced as you narrowed your look and began to force choke him. He began to struggle were he hovered and it only brought a smirk to your lips before you were harshly pulled back and lost concentration.

“What the hell is your problem?!” Trudgen shouted as he turned you around and pushed you back to your seat. “Vicrul leave before she finishes the job.” He warned, the knight not hesitating to obey. You open your mouth to make a witty remark, but a sudden hit to the ship made you close your mouth and jump to your feet. The ship shook again, all coming from the same spot, the ramp. The other four knights filed into the same room, all their heads turning to you.

“Looks like your friends are back, this time to play.” Ushar said to you with too much amusement. Your heart stopped in your chest as you swallowed thickly and your eyes widened.

“Time to blow some shit up!” Cardo exclaimed.

Trudgen shoved past you and stormed into the cockpit with Kuruk. You attempted to move forward but you were quickly pulled back. From the corner of your eye you saw Vicrul was the one that held onto you. “You’re going to watch all of us kill the scum you call friends.” He gripped onto you tighter, making you wince under your breath.

“Vicrul! Let her go.” Ap’Lek called, pulling said man back. The ship shook violently once more, making the panic you felt increase tenfold. You told them not to come back, you specifically told Poe not to, and he did so anyway. Yes a small part of you was happy he came back, but for the most part you were furious. Stubborn man. The next explosion caused the ramp door to burst open; taking this time that the knights were distracted you bolted to the now destroyed ramp, catching glimpse of who you knew was Poe on the pilots seat. He turned the ship around, making you now see an open ramp with Finn standing there with your lightsaber? In his hand.

“Jump!” He exclaimed, waving you over. You looked over your shoulder to see the knights all round the corner, with their weapons in hand. You tried to jump over, but you were pulled back. They wouldn’t hurt you that much you knew, even if they wanted too they couldn’t and wouldn’t dare to do so, but they didn’t care about hurting Finn or Poe—as you got back on your feet, Cardo sent a blast towards Finn, a blast Finn easily deflected as he used your lightsaber.

“Take her away from here.” Ushar ordered Vicrul, and said man obeyed right away, gripping your arm with a firm grip. Quickly you moved to the side, elbowing him before throwing your foot back to kick his crotch. He let out a groan but you didn’t wait to hear anything else as you slid past the other knights, using the force to pull their blasters out of their hands, you tried to jump off the ship, but the ship quickly turned around so the cannons from the ship pointed at Finn instead. Dropping the floating guns, your mind raced on what to do next, desperate to find a solution before Kuruk and Trudgen killed Finn.

You continued to walk to the edge of the broken ramp, the blowing wind of Coruscant hitting your face as you looked down, spotting your ship was now bellow the Night buzzard, you looked over your shoulder to see the knights walking your way, already attempting to get you back, you spun to face them, instantly using the force to freeze their movements. You could feel their attempts to fight back, but you were using your anger to fuel your power, making you stronger than the four of them combined. You took a step back, feeling your heel hover over the edge you looked over your shoulder to see nothing but sky, so with one deep breath you waved at them, before taking the last step back to throw yourself off the edge and free falling into the sky.

Their was nothing you could do but hope that they were going to see you, or else you would end up nothing but pieces on the ground. And luckily the force was with you, Finn had spotted you from the ramp, you couldn’t see his reaction but you knew it was one mixed with fear and surprise. As you were falling down, you saw both ships turn around, all coming to you, but Poe was a better Pilot than Kuruk, quicker in his maneuvers as he flew towards you, causing you to crash on top of the ship. “Ow.” You groaned softly, not being able to hold onto anything as you were sliding down.

With quick haste, before you flew off the top of the ship you managed to grab onto the edge, your body dangerously dangling from it before you threw yourself inside the open ramp, crashing into the ground with a pained groan. Finn quickly rushed to your side, but you waved him away, only raising your head inches off the ground to face him; “tell Poe to go, now!” Finn didn’t hesitate to listen, but before he could go, more blasts from the knights flew his way, all he surprisingly blocked and deflected with swift moves done with your lightsaber. All you did was watch him wide-eyed and impressed, nothing coming out of your mouth as you were left utterly speechless. He caught your gaze and smirked before shouting over his shoulder, “Close the ramp! She’s inside!”

The ramp closed seconds later, shots being hard as they hit the metal door, you pushed yourself to your knees, ignoring the sharp pain that shot all over your body. “HOLD ON!” Poe shouted from the cockpit, seconds later the ship zooming forward and Finn and you sliding back as Poe used lightspeed to make a hasty escape once and for all. You fumbled to get on your feet, but you managed, groaning softly as you felt the bruises forming all over your body.

“You okay?” Finn questioned as he walked over to you with a now deactivated lightsaber.

You nodded, “I will be.” You looked up him and for a flashing second you saw him as you saw him when Vicrul had gotten into your mind, bloodied and dead, but it was only a second, before you saw him clearly again. You swallowed thickly and tried to erase the image from your head, offering him a small tight lipped smile, “You?”

“Better than you.”

You let out a small amused huff, “oh, haha hilarious.” Your face grew serious as you remembered what had happened, what he and Poe and found out before. A truth you had been hiding, one you felt he knew. “I just want to say that I’m sorry, I know we don’t get along, but what I hid was horrible and I’m sorry...but just know and I hope you understand that I’m not that person anymore.”

He stood quiet for a couple minutes, processing your words before placing a hand on your shoulder and giving it a comforting squeeze, “we both were manipulated by them, you more than me, I understand. And I know we don’t get along, but I hope we do.” He offered you a reassuring smile before handing you your lightsaber. You took it and smiled softly, a smile that didn’t last as he left and you were now left to talk to Poe, a talk you knew wasn’t going to be the same as the one with Finn. Not at all the same.

—

You quietly hesitated by the cockpit entrance, debating with yourself on wether to talk with Poe now or later. You waited for him in the main room for a long while, but he never walked out, he had stayed even if the ship was flying in hyperspace on autopilot—he was avoiding you, that much you figured out. It was understandable. In all honesty you didn’t know why you were having so much trouble coming to talk to Poe, it should be easy, considering who you were...but then again Kylo was never good at spoken confrontation, which led to you not being so good at either; but you had to be as hard as it was. As much as it was going to hurt.

“Are you just going to stand there?” He asked, catching you off guard as you didn’t know that he knew you were here with him. “I saw your reflection through the transparisteel.” He explained almost quietly. With a quiet exhale you walked towards the co-Pilot seat, hesitating before taking seat, while also noticing that he didn’t even look up at you. Millions of thoughts ran through your mind all sharing the same concern, and fear. You knew that you felt something towards him, something more than friends, that almost kiss proved that. Those feelings were the reason you stayed quiet, unable to find any words until he did. “Does General Organa know?” He paused and remained quiet for a brief second, “Were you going to tell me?”

You began to gnaw on your bottom lip, keeping your eyes trained on him, even if he wasn’t looking at you. “She does.” You sighed, “and....I-maybe. I-I don’t know if ever was.” Mostly out of your selfish fear, reasonable yet selfish fear of being seen as a monster and being shamed away when you had nothing left. “But Poe—”

He let out frustrated sigh, causing you to stop; “so you were just going hide who you were for as long as you could? Without giving me or anyone else an explanation on who you were?” He rubbed his eyes and ran his hand through his hair, “You-you weren’t just some nobody y/n, you’re a first order commander, you’re a—the child of Ren. Were you not going to tell me? Why didn’t you?” He finally shifted his eyes to meet yours, every ounce of emotion shown through them, betrayal, anger, and confliction.

“Because...” you fumbled, tearing your eyes away and focusing on your hands, you wanted to say the real reason why, but you only told him part of the truth, “because I didn’t want anyone to see me as who I was before. When I saw you again at Ajan Kloss, it felt good that you didn’t see me as some—as it and i just couldn’t bring myself to do it...I’m so sorry.” You admitted softly, fidgeting now with your kyber crystal, expecting some touch of comfort or anything that showed he understood, but he only sighed.

“I can’t let the problem just disappear. I’ve spent part of my life trying to fight the man that raised you, the first order you lived with and fought for,” He swallowed thickly and looked away again, “and to find out you were one of them is hard. You not telling me is hard, hearing it from someone else that wasn’t you was hard too. You could’ve trusted me.” His last words were spoken softly just above a whisper. The softness, hurt and anger in his tone made your face fall, and tears to pool your eyes.

“I’m sorry Poe. I really am.” You attempted to reach out for him, but when you saw him shift away you pulled your hand back, a new feeling of hurt paining your heart. A bigger pain than hearing him call you by your name instead of the nickname he would usually call you by.

“Does Rey know?” He questioned after a moment of loud silence, his eyes falling on you as he waited for the response.

You parted your lips to answer, but instead you just nodded in agreement.

“Oh. Okay.” He let out softly, a hint of hurt expressed through his tone as he shifted his eyes away from you. “Just give me time y/n.” He got up and left you alone, with no room left to discuss or apologize, just alone with the tension that still filtered the air and the tear that rolled down your cheek. The sense of familiarity arriving and the scenery you once saw, blended into darkness, the echoing noise of hyperspace tuning out and hearing nothing but cold darkness.

I told you didn’t I. What they were going to think of you when they found out.

I don’t feel like going through this right now Kylo.

Don’t worry I won’t stay long. Just want to let you know that I care, I always will. I’m here.

You hesitated to answer him, hesitated to push him away, until you didn’t. You really think he sees me like that?

Yes.

You-you were right.

He didn’t answer nor did you, but you didn’t push him away and he didn’t leave your mind, you let him stay, finding comfort in his presence until you had to make him leave as you almost arrived to Ajan Kloss.

—

It had been a couple weeks since the fuel mission to Coruscant, a couple weeks since you’ve last spoken to Poe, just lingering glances past between you both, but no words. You wanted too more than anything but you respected the space he needed. He hadn’t told anyone of what him and Finn found out about you, you didn’t have the slightest idea why, but neither of them said anything to anyone else. That was the only good thing to happen really, nothing else.

Ever since arriving from Coruscant, it was hard facing Rey or Finn without seeing the terrifying image of them that Vicrul made you see in your head. The fear that he made you live through had affected you more than you thought, and Kylo talking and appearing at your lowest moments wasn’t easing the situation. He made you actually think of going back to him, he just left you more conflicted, made you think he was right about everything, that he was the only comfort you had when you isolated yourself because of your fear. Even if in that fear he was there too....but it was easier burying away the fear, that included him. You denied to yourself multiple times of what you had seen, you hated him, that fear couldn’t be true and it wasn’t.....was it?

The sounds of light footsteps trudging your way made you turn around, straining your eyes to see through the thick jungle, hoping that it would be Poe, but alas it wasn’t, then again you weren’t disappointed by who it turned out to be, Rey. Once she spotted you sitting on top of a thick tree branch, she smiled warmly, showing off her skills as she flipped onto the branch with you. “Finally,” she breathed, “you’re a hard person to find.”

You let out a forced chuckle, “yeah that’s been the intention. I haven’t been avoiding you...well a little, but I just needed some time for myself. I’ve been going through some stuff and well ever since Coruscant it’s just been difficult.” You explained.

She nodded in comprehension, “Finn’s filled me on what happened, with The Knights of Ren and well him and Poe finding out who you were.” You responded with silence, one she understood and took as an answer. She didn’t say anything for a moment, only after that silence she showed off a cheeky smile, “he also told me you both are starting to be friends now too.”

“Pshh,” you push her shoulder with yours in a playful way, “me, friends with a traitor like Finn? Never.” You joke, earning a giggle from her, “We’re starting to be friends, if only because I was impressed by his lightsaber skills.” You laugh, your humor not lasting as it died down after a couple of seconds, your face dropping and the tension around Rey and you turning serious. “I’ve been thinking about leaving, going back to Kylo.”

Her face immediately contorts into a confused one, “leaving? why?”

You sigh and turn away from her, “when I was with the knights, Vicrul, one of them, he made me see my worst fear. It was so vivid, it felt so real; but that was the intention, he was trying to hurt me and he did, more than I thought.” You close your eyes for a brief moment, the fear flashing in your head again, “it’s left me unstable, more than I was already. Just like when I remembered my past, I’ve been able to push that away, but with what Vicrul did it returned and it’s all stacked on top of each other, crowding me, I can feel myself losing control again. And I-I can’t let that happen. I-I can’t let my fear become real.” You cry quietly.

Her face drops, the anger and argument she wanted to give about you leaving instantly forgotten as she heard your words. You didn’t need to tell her that Kylo was talking to you, manipulating you in the way he knew he could to get you to go back, she knew, somehow. And she couldn’t let you go back, she cared too much to let you.

“And well, I-I can’t stay, I’m no good for anyone here, I’m not a nobody, I’m a monster of the first order. He doesn’t view me like that and he can help me.” You whisper, wiping away your tears before feeling Rey interlace her hand with the one that was resting at your side. She nodded before she scooted in closer, her shoulder pressing against yours, as she also cupped your cheek with her other hand.

She offered a reassuring look, “You’re not a monster, not to me or anyone else.” She spoke softly, wiping away your tears, “you’re the opposite of that, you’re sweet when you want to be, helpful, beautiful and you don’t only have Kylo to help you, you have General Organa, me. You don’t need him, not when I can help you.” You smile shyly at her words, your cheeks burning and your heart fluttering in your chest....the same way you felt when you were with Poe...in fact you shared the same feelings when you were both...even if you haven’t talked to Poe in a couple weeks, you still felt the same. You felt the same way for both Rey and Poe...but that couldn’t happen—could it?

It did.

Pushing away that trouble for now, you leaned in closer to her and stopped just inches away from her face, whispering “thank you,” as you cupped her cheek with your other hand, your heart hammering in your chest you swore she could hear it. You then began to feel nervous, just like her, neither of you closing the small gap that was left, the both of you just basking in each other’s presence, or maybe neither of you having the courage to close that gap. Not until your eyes shifted to her lips and you mentally encouraged yourself, inhaling deeply and going in to close the gap. Her lips taking in yours in a tender, long and sweet kiss.

You instantly felt her smile into the kiss as she moved her other hand to cup your other cheek pulling you in closer to her. Everything felt just like it was her and you, nothing or anyone else, the trouble you had, forgotten in that moment. You only parted away to show her your smile and catch your breath before you both went in again, this time the kiss becoming more deeper than the one before. It felt right and good and almost like a dream. It was just Rey and you. For now it was just her and you. Or was it?

—

(POE DAMERON P.O.V)

It had been a couple weeks since he had talked to y/n, weeks since he’s been close, only sharing glances from across the room before either person looked away. She had listened to his wanting to take time to think of what he found out, and he respected her for it. Even if at points he wanted her to go talk to him, he longed for it really, but then he would remember what secret she hid and he remembered why he told her to keep away for a while.

He would remember and get upset all over again. Not in the fact that she was this Commander of the first order, or The Child of Ren, because truth is, he dealt with that not long after he found out. He knew she wasn’t a bad person even if who she was before was, he saw that y/n wasn’t like that when he would talk to her, share moments, she had the chance to be cruel, to betray the resistance, but she never did. When he figured that out, he knew that he wanted to give her a second chance and not judge her, just like he didn’t judge Finn for who he was before.

The reason why he was so upset was because y/n had hid that truth from him, he thought she cared and trusted him enough to tell him. And to add more fuel to the fire was when he found out that Rey already knew, the fact that Rey knew before him angered him more, it made him jealous. That’s what pissed him off after he had his time to think. But after a while he came to reason, y/n and Rey were friends and seemed to know each other before, they shared a connection he saw and he assured himself it was because they both could use the force. That calmed him down, that thought. It was nothing else but that right?

Anyhow he knew he couldn’t go without talking to y/n for too long, he missed talking to her, he missed the training sessions on his X-wing, the fact that he was so close to kissing her. He wanted to actually to do it this time and not be close, he wanted to do it and he was, but not after talking to her first. Not after saying “Y/N, I understand.” “Y/N, it’s okay, I understand why you didn’t tell anyone who you were, I’m not mad, well a little bit but it’s okay, let’s talk it out.” He smiled at himself and straightened out his shirt, walking into the jungle where he had seen y/n walk into a while ago.

He let out deep breath and ran his fingers through his curls. He walked for a while, really just looking for her blindly and using his instincts. He walked and walked, keeping his eyes peeled, looking high and low, hoping that she wouldn’t catch him off guard and sneak up behind him like she would. But she didn’t, she wasn’t behind him. He finally spotted y/n and he couldn’t be more relieved, only than he saw she wasn’t alone, she was accompanied by someone. At first he thought it was just some vision, maybe he was space crazy, but he quickly figured that he wasn’t and that the person with y/n was in fact Rey....and they were kissing.

“What the hell.”

.

.

.

.

A/N- so tell me something you want to see in the next chapter! Like a specific mission or more interactions or specific scenes with the characters, just before we move onto the main event of the story! I’ll make it happen, all except for smut...you’re girl cannot write it, even if I tried :( if I could, that would be in the next chapter but alas I cannot *sobs* (I’ll attempt to write some, try as close as possible, even just write something that hints at that, just because I know some people don’t like reading any of that stuff) Anyway if you guys want to share ideas or something, be free to do so! Also if you guys are wondering what Vicrul was doing with poor reader, hes known to project fear into people, (what a nice brother 😑)

Tagged- @jennibradley​​ , @xxrouge-lexxx​​ , @daniellajocelyn​​ , @tweedlydumbtweedlydoo​​ , @star-marvel-fangirl​​ , @leilei-draws​​ , @briesangel @lanatheawesome​ , @madamepsicose, @constantdisgrace​​ , @1-800-depressedlesbian​, @commondazy​ , @logiclies​ , @robindoesntloveme​ , @we-all-are-strange​ , @fandom-addict-aesthetics​ , @seninjakitey​

[ravens-rambling]

You’re Perfect Just The Way You Are

A/N: I’ve actually done this a while ago and just remembered about it ha XD whoops! Hope you like it!!! We need more Remile in our lives I think. 

summary: Emile loves Remy with all his heart and soul. He loves every single thing about the sarcastic flirty man who always makes him laugh no matter what... So why can’t he enjoy their kisses like how normal people do?  

WC: 2,486

ships: Romantic Remile, Mentions of Romantic Prinxiety 

warnings: Nervousness, Mentions of PTSD, Mentions of NSFW, Anxiety, Transphobic, Asexualphobic (idk what its called I think that's right?), panicking, Mentions of Abuse

Tag List: @punsterterry @frostedlover @stormcrawler75 @mutechild @mycatshuman @panicattheeverywhere15 @thewinterbookqueen @analogical-mess

Picani took a shaky breath as cold lips were pressed up against his own. He closed his eyes as he tried to let himself enjoy this. He really tried. But his entire body seemed to spasm in disgust at the contact. His mind was screaming at him to run away and never look back.

But he can’t do that right? This is Remy. Remy isn’t like the others that he’s been with… Right?

Remy is kind and caring sure he can be a bit…much sometimes but…would he not like it if Picani says no to this? Heaven forbid if Remy knew about his secret plus his asexuality would he leave him?

Just like everyone else before?

That thought surged through him and it took every single fiber of his being not to cry right then and there. Luckily he was a decent actor as Remy didn’t catch on to his internal struggle.

They were sitting on a park bench watching the snow lazily float down around them. Most people would consider it romantic. There weren’t many people around having it be a bit later in the day and having it being so cold outside. Luckily both of them didn’t quite mind the cold, only in Remy's case for his eyes.

This is the fifth time Remy has done this just today, Picani has counted, and every time sent so much disgust through him he can’t even put it to words. And every time Remy hasn’t noticed a thing.

It really wasn’t his fault, why they have only been dating a couple weeks now their one-month anniversary coming up really soon. And it’s not like Picani has ever told Remy his sexuality beforehand, he's never had the chance. No, Picani doesn’t blame him. He blames himself.

Why his previous relationship only a few years ago was…rocky, to say the least. The guy kept thinking that he could ‘change’ Picani's mind about his sexuality. He thought that he was too simpleminded and that if he didn’t do the things that he wanted he’ll leave him.

Emile didn’t want that. He did love the guy he truly did. He didn’t want to be alone again, he didn’t want to be by himself again. He did want that comfort of somebody there to hold him when he’s sad or vise versa. But he just didn’t want…that.

So he forced himself to stick with the guy and that only crumbled under his feet when during one night of their…'sessions’ he couldn’t take it anymore. He ended up crying with the guy on top of him. And at first, he completely ignored his cries until he was shaking so badly that even he couldn’t enjoy himself.

That was when he snapped.

That night was a night he really wanted to forget.

And every time Remy kissed him all he could think about was him. Even his previous relationships, though wasn’t as bad as him, always gave him weird looks when he squirmed away from kisses or any of the like.

Even his parents called him a freak for not liking kisses and not having anybody for such a long time. Plus when he came out as trans they really weren’t happy with him.

He didn’t want that pressure back on his shoulders. But he felt maybe Remy was different. He was cute in many ways than one. With his sunglasses and dark chocolate brown eyes. With the leather jacket that always makes him look like he stepped right out of an action movie. Of his smile that was always a smirk, a devilishly handsome smirk, that played on his lips every time he spoke. And of his charm that he always carried with him, his witty humor that always made him laugh even during his darkest days.

He loved Remy.

So why does he only feel disgusted every time they kiss?

Was there something wrong with him?

Did he truly not love Remy?

Was he just playing Remy into some manipulative game?

Was he becoming like his ex?

His throat tightened up at that. It took all his willpower not to tear up as he tried to smile through the kiss. This was a rather long one…

But what finally made him break off was that his stomach did a very uncomfortable twist.

When he turned his head he tried to give a smile back though he knew it turned to more of a grimace. Great, he couldn’t even do that now. Remys gonna catch on and leave him and-

“Babe? What’s wrong? Are you cold cause if you are we can cuddle you know I’m as warm as the sun.”

Picani chuckled and looked up to him through his bangs. Yeah… He always has that nice charm to get him to smile. And that look of worry on his face… Stars above, does it look believable.

What was it that he always told his patients? Sure it can be rough but holding it in will only damage you more? Yeah…. No wonder why all his patients always said its easier said than done.

“Yeah, I’m cool as a cucumber, love! I guess I am getting a bit chilly. Though I would love to cuddle with you, my sun, I think it’s about time to head to that cafe, no?”

Luckily Remy bought it. “Gotcha! Thank gods it’s been like hours since I’ve had coffee. Almost a record for me! I need my seasonal depression.”

Picani giggled as Remy stood up and offered him a hand, gladly taking it and not letting go he smiled, “And I’ve told you it’s not good having so much coffee. So that’s good for you, love.”

“And I’ve told you you are a deepy downer! How can I enjoy winter without my Carmel frappe? Such dishonor!”

“Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your cow!”

“…. Did you just meme me? That’s a me move!”

Picani giggled again, “No I swear I didn’t. It’s from Mulan can you blame me?”

“I suppose not.”

Yeah, they really did click like two peas in a pod. Like Sapphire and Ruby. So why can’t he enjoy their kisses???

It didn’t take long for them to arrive at the cafe it being only a block away. The entire time they held hands and talked to each other, well more like laughed at each other. Picani almost didn’t want the tranquil moment to end.

The familiar bell rang through the place and he blinked at the all too familiar sight of teens huddling by the corners cramming in all the homework and studies they could possibly get. The smell of coffee hit him and he smiled. This is where they first met and he still loves this place with all his heart. It was almost like a second home to him.

“Remy. Picani. I take it you want your normal?”

He looked up to be greeted with the familiar sight of, well, bangs. Bright stark orange bangs were really all Picani could see of his eyes. Ah yes, Toby!

“Hey Tobs! What’s up, Babs?”

Toby glanced up and shrugged, “Nothing much as normal. Now, what do you want? I would rather this get moving along please.”

Ah yes and the normal roughness. Though Picani and Remy still smiled, they got used to this ages ago.

“Hot chocolate as always please!”

“And Carmel frappe babe.”

“Yes, the normal like I said. You guys are predictable as always,” He rolled his eyes and huffed as he turned away.

Once both of them sat down waiting for their drinks they chatted a bit more. Remy instantly grabbed on to Emile's hand once again and had both of their hands on his lap. It was mindless chatter for a bit until Remy suddenly leaned forward as if to kiss him again. Emile sucked in his breath as always when this happened but before their lips could touch Remy backed off a bit.

Shocked eyes met serious ones as Remy lowered his sunglasses a bit with a finger. Emile gulped Remy never is serious. Ever.

“Babe? What’s wrong? I can see how uncomfortable you are when I kiss you. Was it-”

“Remy! Emile!”

Their drinks were called Remy got up to get both of their drinks without a single word leaving Picani shocked and speechless. Remy figured it out. Now he’s going to leave him. Now he’s going to be left alone again. Now he’s-

“Gurl? You okay?”

Emile whipped up to see Remy standing right next to him both their drinks in his hands. He set them down while taking his seat and looked back to him with a frown.

Gently he grabbed both of Emile's hands and glanced around at the people around him for…something? Maybe it was to see if anyone’s around? Why would he look for that? Is he going to break up with him?

“Breathe babe I got you. What’s wrong? Is it something I’ve done girl or?”

“No! Heaven’s…no it’s not Rem…”

“Then why? I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable love. But I gotta know why.”

Emile gulped loudly. He could feel tears on the edge of his eyes threatening to leak down. But no he can’t cry. Just keep breathing. Keep breathing. You have to tell him soon or later it’s not right to keep it from him. He needs to know….

“Um… You remember my last boyfriend?”

Remy nodded, “Yeah you told me you guys broke up after a fight.” His eyes looked sad now, “Was it something he did? I’ll go after that bastard if he did-”

“No… No… I… It’s not like that… I..” He gulped loudly again and glanced to the table. He didn’t want to see Remy's face now.

“I’ve never told you why we fought did I?”

“No… Not that I can recall, love…”

“It… It was…. It was cause I’m... I’m asexual…” He spat out the word as quickly as he could, maybe Remy won’t have heard him. Maybe he can get out of this quickly somehow.

Then he didn’t hear anything. Very slowly he glanced up to Remy only to see he was opening and closing his mouth. But his expression made his heart sink. He looked heartbroken. So sad and concerned.

Emile's never seen Remy like this before. Normally he always keeps his composure. He wasn't quite sure what he was so sad about, however, did he felt sad that he couldn't have kisses anymore? He was definitely going to break up with him now.

Finally, Remy breathed out, “I’m so sorry….”

Well, Picani wasn’t expecting that.

“W-What?”

He felt gentle warm hands cup his cheeks and when he looked up he saw Remy nearly was on the verge of tears.

“I am so sorry… If I known… I’m so sorry for making you uncomfortable like that… You two broke off cause you're asexual and he didn’t like that, I guess?”

He shook his head, “No… He kept…trying to change my mind so he called it…”

His grip tightened on his cheeks not by much though he made sure his hold was still gentle. Remy's eyes almost turned to fire before Emile.

“I will kill that bastard for you, babe.”

He wasn’t upset at him. He wasn’t going to break up with him….

Emile swallowed, “Please don’t… He… I… It was my fault I mean… I don’t know I just… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. God love don’t ever be sorry. I’m just glad you told me before we went any further. Heaven forbid if I found out the hard way.”

“Yeah… Properly won’t have uh…been the best I guess.”

His hands fell to Emile's hands as he now gently held his that gentle warmth spread throughout his hands and arms. They sat like that in silence for a moment until Emile spoke up again.

“I was afraid… of telling you…”

He could feel Remy's eyes on him as he continued he knew if he didn't say this now he might ever be able to, “I was afraid that you were gonna break up with me once you knew… Or be like him… Not even my parents were very accepting of it so I just sorta figured you would be like that. I’m sorry for thinking like that. Guess it’s like the Avatar gang when accepting Zuko huh?”

Silence for another moment then his grip tightened.

“What did I say? There’s nothing to be sorry about babe. Not even your parents were accepting?”

“…no…”

Then a deep sigh.

“I have a killing spree to get to apparently. Babe, there’s nothing wrong with being asexual. Why I know somebody who’s asexual.”

Picani's eyes widened and he turned to him, “You do?”

“Yeah. My brother, Ro's boyfriend? V something or another. The emo like Toby? He had a really rough relationship with this bastard and uh…it wasn’t pretty at all properly like how yours ended and after that even the thought of any of that sends him panicking. PTSD I guess it’s called?”

Picani instantly nodded. Yep sounded like some patients he’s had. Maybe he can talk to this V person to help him out sometime?

“So it’s nothing new for me. And honestly, now that I think about it you never liked that kinda talk huh… Guess I’m blind and stupid…”

“Now Rem your none of those things. I just..hid my feelings too well I guess. It’s not your fault.”

“I feel like it is though! I could see your entire body tense up and how it looked like you wanted to run the second I lean in. I should have figured it out sooner! I should have…” Another loud sigh and he looked at Picani straight in the eye, “I’m sorry, babe. I’m so so fucking sorry.”

Emile breathed out and smiled, “And I keep telling you there’s nothing to be sorry about. Why don’t we both stop blaming ourselves and enjoy our drinks alright?”

“I guess… You okay with cuddling? I could use your cuddling right about now…”

Picani smiled and opened his arms, “I love cuddling with you, my sun.” Remy smiled and dove into his arms curling his face into Emile's neck and chest. Emile wrapped his arms around Remy and with his gentle lips kissed his hair. They stayed like that for quite a while them both sipping their drinks and soon or later brought out their phones. They were at peace with one another now.

That was until Picani mumbled into Remys hair, “And I’m trans...And autistic.” He tensed up still though, his mind started racing again he couldn't help it apparently.

Though he felt a shrug, “I don’t care love. Don’t like the nickname 'ma'am’ or 'gurl' then huh?”

Emile shivered and shrunk back at that name, “No, please.”

“Gotcha. Love you, Em.” He kissed Emile's chin and smiled looking up at him. “This okay?” Emile smiled brightly and hugged Remy closer to him, “It’s perfect.”

[shireness-says]

Killian Jones and the Lost Boy

Summary: Killian Jones' entire life changes when he meets a boy living on the streets. ~12K.

A/N: This was supposed to be 5K. It was not. What it is is 12K of Killian being adorable with tiny Henry. Be aware: this is mostly a Captain Cobra fic with Captain Swan as a bonus. Contains swearing, vague mention of pirate deaths, and a painful amount of cute.

Many thanks to @awkwardnessandbaseball who took up the editing mantle when I couldn’t look at this anymore! Thanks a million, you da best.

Also on AO3.

Enjoy!

There’s a port, off in a nearly forgotten corner of the map at the furthest edge of Misthaven, that Killian Jones and the rest of the Jolly Roger’s crew like to dock at.

It’s nothing much; a tiny hamlet, really, not worthy of much interest to mapmakers, let alone anyone else. But the merchants are fair, the women are friendly, and the drinks are cheap, so the Jolly and her crew keep coming back. Scarlet’s even found himself a sweetheart in town – the pretty florist’s daughter, who loves when he brings her texts from far-off lands. So they make port every 4-6 weeks to restock.

It’s the kind of routine Killian’s life needs right now. Five bloody years spent searching the realm from one end to another for a way to finally kill the Dark One, to exact his revenge for his Milah and for his hand, and when he finally comes back with a poison that can kill the Crocodile once and for all, it’s only to discover that the demon had procured a magic bean at last and used it to reunite with his son in the Land Without Magic – a land Killian has no desire to ever set foot in. Killian’s entire life had centered around revenge for so long, first for his brother and then for his love; with his former monarch deposed after the war and the Crocodile long gone, he’s no longer quite sure what to do with himself. Piracy had been a means to an end, and without that goal to reach, he’s aimless, fruitlessly searching for some way to bring meaning back to his life. It’s been two years of this, him and the crew of the Jolly drifting along from port to port, like a ship without a rudder, just as when they first heard of the Dark One’s departure. So he makes a point of returning to this particular town regularly, in a feeble attempt to return some semblance of normalcy to all their lives.

Truly, it’s the least remarkable town imaginable. Killian isn’t even sure it has a name; there’s nothing listed on his maps, and the townspeople tend to just refer to their little hamlet as “here” or the only slightly more dignified “In Town”. It’s the kind of place where people keep saying they’ll leave one day, but rarely do, finding themselves staying behind and doing whatever their father had done before them and making a family and wishing they had just done more with their lives. But that’s of no concern to Killian and the rest of the crew; their comparatively worldly presence and status as a new face makes them welcomed guests in a town desperate for new tales of the world, even if they are pirates.

Really, the only distinguishing factor about the town is that it’s nearly overrun by a group of street children that Scarlet dubs the Lost Boys (over-dramatic git that he is). From what Killian understands, a sickness swept the next town over a few years back, leaving many children orphaned. No one quite knows how the children came to be in this hamlet instead, but the fact of the matter is they’re here, and clearly have no intention of leaving. Kilian never has problems with them; one of the bolder children tried to pick his pocket once, but that effort was quickly shut down. He may not hold with chopping off the hands of thieves, especially after losing a limb himself, but a threatening glare is more than permissible, and has so far worked wonders.

(Whale has a problem with the pick-pockets, but Whale is also an idiot, so Killian understands why the ship’s doctor has become such a target.)

There is one boy Killian worries about, who can’t be more than four and struggles to keep up with the others. He’s just so small, clearly years younger than even the next youngest boy. With his short legs and childlike tendency towards distraction, Killian is worried about the possibility of the lad getting separated and left behind. Unfortunately, the truth is that this may be a better solution than whatever the boy escaped from. Killian is more than familiar with local orphanages, having been a ward of one in that period between Mama’s death and Father’s retrieval (and later abandonment); he remembers the poor conditions, the children sleeping four to a bed, the insufficient amount of food that was always only a small step away from having gone bad. Slavery was far worse, but Killian’s memories of the orphanage are far from rosy, and in fact pitch closer to awful. He can’t blame the boys for wanting to strike out on their own in their ragtag group, and suspects what coins the little one can beg and the older ones can earn on odd jobs (combined, of course, with outright thievery) can provide much better sustenance than orphanage meals deal, combined with that wonderful feeling of independence and determining one’s own fate. Killian resolves to pay closer attention come winter when the temperatures drop to make sure the lad isn’t in danger of hypothermia, but for the moment, he’s happy to leave well enough alone.

------

For such a small town, it’s somewhat surprising that it can boast two taverns, but that’s the truth of the matter. The Jolly’s crew tends to patronize the less reputable of the two, a dark and slimy-feeling joint called the Rabbit Hole that’s not too far from the docks. Most of the town chooses the Red Wolf Inn, but Killian’s grown quite fond of this hole in the wall, where the traffic is less respectable and the owner (Jefferson, he thinks the name is) is more than happy to accept their money.

It’s been a night for the ages; Mulan had taken everything Smee had to offer in a game of dice, Whale somehow managed to piss off not one, not two, but three women in a two hour period, and whatever batch of rum Jefferson is serving them tonight is particularly strong. The entire crew is three sheets to the wind and Killian’s seen more than a few of his men slip off to dark corners with female companionship.

Killian had planned to find some company of his own that evening when they had all set out, but he’s thinking better of it now. Despite his intentions, he’s veering towards the kind of drunk where he’s likely to pass out immediately after sex and find his cabin missing a few valuables in the morning, and he’d honestly like to avoid that if at all possible. So as the night winds down, Killian slips out the door to walk back to the Jolly by himself. He absent-mindedly tries to plot a course for the rest of his evening: get back to the ship, set aside his vest to mend that missing button later, find some damn water to drink, maybe crawl into bed and read a bit more of that new collection of adventures he picked up at the market in Agrabah...

That’s when he hears the sniffle.

It’s a quiet noise, really; he’s not sure at first that he heard anything at all. But the noise comes again, from the alley to his left, and Killian can’t help but go and investigate. He expects a puppy, maybe, something insignificant to be sure, expects to be on his way in a moment.

Instead, he finds a little boy. No, he finds the boy, the little boy he tries not to worry about, huddled in a corner of the alley in the October night’s chill, all alone. And that discovery sobers Killian up quicker than he could have imagined.

The lad spots him coming as Killian steps closer, and fearfully tries to curl up tighter and scoot away, his bottom lip visibly trembling. Smart lad – already knows not to trust the benevolence of strangers. It’s working against Killian’s good intentions in this instance, but smart lad, all the same.

“It’s alright,” he say as gently as he can, “I’m not going to hurt you.”But the boy is still eyeing him warily – especially his hook, Killian realizes – so he unlocks the appendage from its brace, offering it to him in a goodwill gesture. The lad takes it somewhat tentatively, but seems reassured by the fact that he now has control over the sharp instrument.

“See? Nothing to worry about.” Killian offers his best smile, one he hopes will put the young boy at ease. “My name’s Killian. Or Hook, if you like that better.”

The lad frowns a little, tripping over the name. “Kill-an?”

“Aye, that’s right, Killian. What’s your name, lad?”

The boy still looks nervous, but he does mumble out “Henry.” So that’s progress.

“Henry? Oh, I like that. A good, strong, dashing name for a growing boy.” The next part is trickier – finding out exactly how little Henry came to be huddled in this corner. Killian has never seen the lost boys out late at night, for all that they’re underfoot during the day, so he assumes they’ve got some sort of shelter or tents set up.

“Henry, can you tell me where your friends are?”

Henry’s been a little misty ever since Killian walked up, but this question proves to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back, as the little boy bursts into tears.

Somehow, Killian ends up sprawled on the ground with a sobbing child in his arms, trying to soothe the poor thing and failing miserably. If this reaction is anything to go by, the rest of the boys are gone; thinking back, he realizes that the town had been abnormally quiet this time at port. They must have moved on to a new town and left poor Henry behind, whether by accident or on purpose. The boy’s tears finally start to calm, but the experience seems to have eliminated his hesitance as he clutches Killian’s jacket and tries to burrow his little face into the juncture of Killian’s neck and shoulder.

He rocks and shushes the little boy for a few minutes longer as he tries to formulate a plan. Henry is far too young to be on his own – honestly, it’s a wonder he’s made it this far with only a collection of other children looking after him. In the morning, he’ll have to see about maybe finding a family to take Henry in, but for the moment, there’s really only one option.

“Henry, would you like to sleep on my ship tonight?”

------

To say Will Scarlet is surprised when Killian shows up back at the Jolly Roger with a small child hanging onto his hook is an understatement.

“Uh… something you’d like to share with us, Captain?”

Henry’s getting nervous again, trying to hide behind Killian’s legs, so he shoots Scarlet a look he hopes says be gentle. “It’s alright, little one,” he cajoles, convincing Henry to peep out again, if only to look up to meet his eyes. “Henry, this is my friend Will Scarlet, and Scarlet, this is my friend Henry. Can you say hello to Mister Will?”

“Hello, Misser Will,” comes the little voice, somehow instantly melting his sarcastic second mate into a man who softly smiles as he crouches down to the little boy’s level.

“Well hello there, master Henry,” Will says, offering his hand for what must be the most adorable handshake Killian has ever witnessed. “How old are you?”

Henry proudly holds up five fingers, much to both men’s amusement. “Oh, you’re five?” Scarlet asks, only to receive a frown in return. Re-examining his fingers, Henry folds his pinky down before presenting the hand again. “Four then?” At least that receives an excited nod. Henry is clearly very proud to be an entire four years old.

“Young Henry is going to be staying with us tonight, isn’t that right, lad?”

Henry nods, but still looks up at Killian’s face nervously, like he’s afraid they’re going to take that privilege away from him at any moment. Killian tries to put as reassuring a smile on his face as he can, but it’s more than a little heartbreaking to see how Henry doesn’t trust this good fortune he’s receiving.

“Well that sounds like fun, little mate. Do you want something to snack on?” asks Will. “I know I get hungry right before I go to bed.”

The boy practically lights up at the mention of food, and Killian feels a stab of guilt cut through his heart. Gods, he was so worried about Henry having a safe place to stay for the night that he forgot that the lad probably hadn’t had a decent meal in possibly a very long while. So he nods at Scarlet to go rustle something up for the boy and offers his hook, once again, to the lad. He’d tried to offer the hand earlier, but Henry has taken some odd comfort from the hook, and it does have the added bonus of leaving Killian free to handle other things with his other hand (his only hand). 

He’s already decided that Henry will sleep in his cabin. It’s not that Killian doesn’t trust his crew, it’s just that he doesn’t want to take any chances with the lad, and there’s probably the fewest chances for Henry to get into something and accidentally hurt himself in the captain’s quarters. Plus, he thinks Henry will be less scared in a room with him than with a bunch of strange men and women. So Killian carefully helps the boy down the ladder - he insists on doing it himself, very determinedly declaring “I can do it!”, even as Killian still makes sure to keep his hand and hook at the boy’s sides just in case he slips - and settles him in one of the chairs. The little lad is happy enough to sit at the table and look at all of the maps currently laid out, so Killian sets off to find the lad a cot and a blanket - maybe even a spare pillow, if one exists - just as Will is about to walk in with a hunk of bread for Henry to nibble on. As he walks away, he can just hear Henry’s excited chatter to the other man, a noise that makes him smile. But for the moment, he’s got more important things to take care of.

As he lugs the thin pallet down the narrow corridor - the best he can find, but probably still better than little Henry is used to, sadly enough - he runs into Will Scarlet again, seemingly making his way back to his own bunk in one of the former officer’s cabins. “Is the lad alright?” he tries not to ask too urgently.

But Will just nods genially. “Yep, happy as a clam. Practically inhaled that bit of bread, thought I’d go see if I had any sweets hidden to give him. How long is he staying with us, Captain?”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, actually. You’re down in the village proper a hell of a lot more than any of the rest of us; have you heard of any families that might be willing to take him in?”

The crewman screws his brow in thought. “I… no, I don’t. But you might try going down to the other tavern tomorrow - the Red Wolf Inn. Most of the town wanders through, and lord knows that the lady who runs it, Granny Lucas, has an ear for the gossip. If anyone knows of family who’s willing, it’ll be her.”

That seems like a solid enough plan. He’ll head down with the boy tomorrow, sort the matter out, and then the Jolly Roger can be back out of port as soon as their stores are replenished. Easy. “Excellent. We’ll go in the morning.” And with a nod of thanks to the other man, Killian manages to reopen the door to the captain’s quarters and slip through with the pallet.

Only to find the four year old boy already asleep at the table and clutching the last scrap of bread like it’s his salvation.

As quietly as he can, Killian makes up the pallet, making a quick note in his head to get the boy a bath and a change of clothes in the morning. The little lad barely stirs when Killian carefully scoops him up to carry him to the makeshift bed, except to try and burrow in a little closer to the warmth of Killian’s chest. It makes his heart warm, that little bit, to see how this tiny human inexplicably seems to trust him, even unconsciously. He hasn’t thought about kids in a long time, not since Milah had told him she didn’t want any more, and he can’t help but wonder if this is what fatherhood could feel like; like a tiny body in his arms and an unassailable trust.

But Henry isn’t his. Henry, Killian tries to remind himself, won’t be staying on the Jolly for very long, will have a family of his own who can properly take care of him as soon as can be arranged. There’s no point in getting attached. So he sets the little boy down and tucks him in, carefully extricating the hunk of bread from tiny hands.

He allows himself to brush the dark hair out of Henry’s eyes before turning to attend to his own bedtime rituals, but that’s it.

------

When Killian wakes up with the sun the next morning, his little houseguest - or cabin-guest, he supposes, as the case may be - is still fast asleep. That’s fine; good, actually. It means he has a chance to get down to the local market to procure for Henry a set of clothes that isn’t quite so dirty and torn. Will is more than willing to keep an eye on the little guy; they seem to have formed an attachment in their short time together that Killian doesn’t see any reason to discourage. Will’s a big kid at heart, which the four year old must love.

His purchases are easy enough to locate; the only thing Killian ends up not buying is a pair of shoes for the lad, since he realizes he doesn’t have any clue what size Henry might need, and that’s something they’d need to be a bit more specific about. If the pants or shirt are too big, it’ll be fine, but shoes should really be a proper size, plus just a little bit of room to grow. 

The shirt and pants should be the end of his purchases, besides maybe picking up just a bit of cheese on his way back to the ship, but a tiny, tucked away booth catches his eye instead. There’s an old woman making all sorts of knitted goods, fingers flying almost faster than his eyes can process: hats and socks and gloves, in every color imaginable. None of those are what catch his attention, however. Tucked away behind everything else is a bright flash of color - a multi-colored, patchwork blanket, the perfect size for a child. He doesn’t need to buy it, truly; he’s sure Henry will be more than happy with just the new clothes.

He buys it anyway.

------

To say Henry is thrilled is an understatement.

Killian walks back into his quarters to find Scarlet grinning at the table as a giggling Henry concocts some wild story and acts it out, practically bouncing off the walls. Still, he happily rushes over when Killian walks back in, laden down with packages.

“I missed you, Killy!” he chirps, trying to pry parcels out of his grasp.

Killy. He hasn’t been called Killy in years.

(He might like being Killy, even if Scarlet looks like he’ll give him all kinds of shit about it.)

Henry’s looking at him expectantly, so Killian’s probably been lost in his thoughts for too long. “Well I missed you too, little mate!” he smiles. “But I had to go pick up a few things for you.”

The clothes go over well - or at least as well as clothes ever go over with children when presented as a gift. But the blanket…

Henry loves the blanket. 

He gasps dramatically when he tears the paper off, looking between the soft yarn and Killian’s face with a sort of soft awe before abruptly standing and crashing into Killian’s legs in a massive hug, muttering something into his thigh that Killian thinks must be “thank you”. It’s hard to know how to react to such a display, but he does as best he can, patting the boy’s back.

“Well, you’re very welcome lad.” Retrieving the blanket from it’s packaging on the floor, he clumsily drapes it over the boy’s shoulders with hand and hook. “Nice and cozy, yeah?”

Henry nods, still clinging to a leg. 

“Now, what do you say we have some breakfast and get you washed up, then go see some of Mister Will’s friends?”

------

All washed up and practically skipping down the street, Henry looks like any other boy.    

They’d told him, briefly, about the plan - how they’re going to go see a friend of Mister Will’s who going to find Henry a real home. The boy is a little confused, but enthusiastic all the same. It shouldn’t be too hard to find Henry a proper family, Killian thinks; the lad is just so damn happy, and loving, even after everything he’s been through.

Even at 11:30 in the morning on a weekday, the Red Wolf Inn is packed. Will was certainly right; the bustling room appears to be the social center of this tiny hamlet. They attract more than a few suspicious looks, but Will’s presence seems to calm the masses a bit, thankfully - something that must be a first, he wants to joke. The man himself is scanning the room with furrowed brow, seemingly not finding the face he’s looking for. In the meantime, a fierce blonde is quickly approaching with a scowl on her face that causes Henry to hide behind his leg. Killian can’t blame the lad; frankly he’d prefer to hide himself. 

“What do you think you’re doing with him?” she demands, gesturing at Henry. Killian quickly realizes she’s more worried about the little lad than anything, which helps temper his trepidation in dealing with her, even as Henry grows even more nervous of her tone and clutches tighter to his trousers.

“Actually, Miss - ” he begins, but she cuts him off in fiery indignation. It’s a good look on her, actually; he might even like her, if she wasn’t actively working against him.

“Now listen here, you prick, you may be some fancy pirate and he’s just a street kid but that is no excuse. If you think I’m going to let you do awful things to him on this property -”

“Killy’s a good pirate!” Henry’s little voice pipes through, just as indignant as the blonde’s. “He bought me a blanket,” he adds, like that settles everything.

The barmaid still looks wary, but softens somewhat at Henry’s protestations. He has a way of doing that, Killian is starting to realize. “I’m just trying to look out for you, kid,” she finally says.

But Henry is a perpetual ray of sunshine. “He saw I was cold outside last night, and let me stay on his ship!” he chirps. “And he says he’s going to help me find a family! He’s a very good pirate.”

That even gets a smile out of the woman. “Well, he sounds like a very good friend.” She still sounds a little suspicious, but at least she’s no longer engaged in outright one-sided combat.

Henry just nods sagely. “He’s my Hook.” Like that’s a logical explanation of their relationship, in the same lines as ‘uncle’ or ‘brother’ or ‘father’. Hook. 

(Who knows, maybe it is, what with the irrational, absurd comfort Henry draws from clinging to the damn thing.)

Killian shakes himself back to awareness before his thoughts can travel too far down any such rabbit holes. “That’s what we’re here about, actually, Miss. My mate Scarlet here told me the proprietress, Mrs. Lucas, might know of a family who could take young Henry in? It’s awfully cold for tiny fingers to be out on their own.”

He tries to grin charmingly, but the barmaid only looks uncomfortable. “Well…” she begins, clearly bothered by something, and Killian feels himself tense up in anticipation. “Granny isn’t here, you see. Left to spend the day by herself and gave me instructions not to bother her unless the place is on fire.”

Oh. Well, that’s an easy enough problem to work around. “That’s fine, lass. Do you know when she expects to come back?”

“The day after tomorrow. If you’re still in port you could come back then, I’m sure she’ll be more than happy to talk with you. And in the meantime, I could probably keep an ear out. Let you know if I hear of anyone who’d be willing.” 

He opens his mouth to reply, but before he can even utter a single syllable, he’s interrupted by an awful gurgling, moaning noise - Henry’s stomach. The little lad can certainly tuck a lot away. Killian lets loose a chuckle at Henry’s guilty look, before turning back to the woman. “I think that should work. Now, in the meantime, I don’t suppose you have anything we could eat? It seems young Henry here is hungry again. Growing boy and all that.” Looking down at the boy in question, he sees Henry trying to give his own charming smile, and has to stifle a chuckle before turning back to the barmaid, catching her holding back her own laugh.

“I believe we have some stew in the back I could spoon up, if you like. How many servings?”

Killian turns to ask Scarlet if he’d like a bowl, but the man’s wandered off again, likely to try and woo his lady. Or maybe just avoid the blonde’s wrath. Either way, it’s an answer to his question.

“Two, please, Miss…?” he ends in a questioning tone. It would be helpful to know who to ask for in two days’ time (and that’s the only reason, truly, he swears).

“Emma. Emma Swan.”

------

Henry absolutely wolfs down his stew, and Killian makes a note to make sure they pick up some sort of bedtime snack for the boy tonight. The least they can do while the lad is on the Jolly Roger is make sure he’s well-fed.

Swan has noticeably softened by the time they’re ready to depart, a fact for which Killian is grateful - he’s not sure he has any more arguments to counter any insistence that Henry not stay on the Jolly. So they make their farewells - Henry more enthusiastically than Killian.

(“Bye, Miss Emma!” he calls, practically flapping his entire hand in a wave as the woman in question chuckles and good-naturedly waggles her fingers right back.)

The next days pass quickly, waiting for news from Miss Swan or from Mrs. Lucas. Killian does try going back to the tavern to see the proprietress on the day she’s expected back, and she is present, but so is the rest of the entire tiny village (or at least so it seems), so Miss Swan waves him away and promises they’ll come down to the ship when there’s news.

As much as the crew has welcomed their young guest, the fact of the matter is that they’ve been in port for almost a week. They’re a ship full of wanderers; while short sojourns to restock their stores and enjoy the local bars (and women) are welcomed, they all itch to get back on the open sea before too long, and a week is stretching their patience. So it’s with no small relief that he sees Miss Swan walking up the gangplank at last - at least, until he sees the look on her face.

“We’re trying to find him a good family - ” she starts, and Killilan can already see where this is going.

“But haven’t yet,” he interrupts. “I take it that’s what you’re here to tell me?”

She nods guiltily. Fantastic.

Honestly, he doesn’t know what the next step is. It hadn’t even crossed his mind that they’d have trouble finding a home for Henry. The boy is such a cheerful, bubbly delight; any family would be so lucky to have him. But the fact of the matter is that he needs to be casting off in the next day or so, or risk losing his crew to other ships. He trusts his men, a feeling that goes both ways, but this is their livelihood, and if the Jolly isn’t out pillaging and plundering, they’ll have to leave and find another ship to work on. He simply can’t afford to wait around until they find Henry a proper home, as much as he’d like to.

“I hate to ask, lass, but the crew and I need to be casting off. I don’t suppose there’s any way you can look after Henry until - ”

But that only earns another guilty shake of her head. Killian has to admit, he doesn’t much like that look on the lady’s face. “My room is barely big enough for me. I can’t keep Henry cooped up in there when I barely want to go back at night.”

There’s a whole host of questions he wants to ask about that, about why Miss Swan has to put up with such subpar lodgings and what he can do to help, but he’s distracted by the sudden awareness of Henry’s little body around his legs. Looking down he sees the worry no four year old should have to be carrying, and that’s it. The decision is made.

“What do you say, lad? Want to spend a little time on the ocean waves with us?”

------

Henry takes to life at sea like a fish to water, so to speak, and the crew takes to him like one of their own. Henry spends his days running from bow to stern and back again, seemingly without any complaints of unsteady legs or seasickness. Somewhere along the line, the crew - Killian suspects led by Scarlet, but he can’t prove anything - begins calling the boy “Little Mate”, which he loves (and Killian finds pretty cute too, even if he has to pretend to be stern and disapproving). As such, the days are now filled with calls of “C’mere, Little Mate, I want to show you something” and offers to teach the boy various things.

 Scarlet - or ‘Misser Will’, as he’s becoming known - has an extra special bond with the little boy, but everyone really takes well to his presence on board. Smee is slowly showing Henry all the best hiding places (a particular hit with a curious little boy), and Mulan has been trying to teach him some basic defense with the help of a couple of wooden sticks for swords. At his age, lessons in actual sword-fighting are a little bit useless due to his size and attention span, but he still loves playing at being a knight (or perhaps a dashing pirate captain…) and Mulan’s insistence on decent form can only be an asset if he chooses to pursue the art as he grows older. Killian especially appreciates how she tries to teach their ward some basic weaponless maneuvers even little Henry can execute, like kicking and punching at knees and ankles and advising him to bite and scratch and scream. Henry is still more interested in charging wildly at Mulan’s legs, but Killian still feels better, knowing the boy will have these lessons in the back of his mind and a little bit of muscle memory of how to protect himself. Will, of course, will probably always occupy the top spot in Henry’s book of favorites, especially now that he’s trying to rig up a harness so the lad can safely climb up to the crow’s nest, but the rest of the crew seem ok with that. Even Whale seems to like having Henry around, even if he doesn’t know quite what to do with a small child.

The one little bump is the nightmares. Henry is shockingly good about going to bed when asked - much better than Killian ever remembers being about the matter, though the bedtime stories he receives as a reward for his cooperation certainly must help the process. The lad is even good enough to fall asleep quickly after hearing tales of pirates and princesses and mermaids. But unfortunately, good sleep is not always to be had for poor Henry. Killian is growing used to waking up to the lad’s thrashing and whimpering, and it truly breaks his heart all over again. There’s not much to do for it; the best Killian can do is try to calm the boy down with gentle shushing and strokes to his hair and face. Eventually, Henry will calm down, and usually falls back to sleep after being carefully tucked into his blanket, tight and snug.

(The whole endeavor is feeling more and more like parenthood, and Killian isn’t sure he dislikes it.)

(But Henry will be gone within the month, off to his own family, so he tries not to get too attached.)

------

Emma - Miss Swan, that is - is already waiting anxiously on the docks the next time the Jolly Roger makes port, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet in impatience. Henry makes a beeline straight for her legs as soon the gangplank is down with no notice at all for the various calls to “be careful, Little Mate!” Instead, he plows into her her with a mighty “oomph!” that Emma has, thankfully, already braced herself for.

As Killian makes his more sedate way down to the dock, he can already hear Henry chattering away, seemingly determined to tell Miss Emma every single thing that’s happened the last month.

“... and I saw dolphins, Miss Emma! Have you ever seen dolphins?”

She smiles indulgently, and Killian swears he feels his heart stutter at the sight of this woman being so good to the little lad. He’s so lost in that smile and the way she holds Henry’s hand like she might break it that he entirely misses her response, whatever it might be. Honestly, he’s not even sure how long he stands, smiling like a fool, before he notices Miss Swan jerking her head to the side like she has something she wants to tell him, privately.

And boy, does she ever have something to tell him.

“We think we found a family that will take Henry,” she says, and Killian feels his heart jump - whether in anticipation and excitement or in sadness that his time with Henry will soon be ending, it’s hard to say. The two are irrevocably tied together at this juncture.

Somehow, he forces words past his mouth. “You did?”

She nods. “Yeah. I mean, you and Henry will have the final say, but yeah, Granny and I think we have a candidate. I just wanted to talk to you about how you wanted to do this. Should we speak with them first, make sure they’ll be a good fit, before we let them meet Henry? You’re his de facto guardian at the moment, so I figured you might want to talk to the couple before making any decisions about his care.”

That… is a sound idea. He feels a little guilty admitting it, but Miss Emma is right. He just got so caught up in the idea of simply finding Henry a family that would take him in that he forgot to consider whether they’d be the right family, which is even more important. Emma is waiting expectantly, so he quickly pulls his thoughts together. 

“Aye, that sounds like a good idea. Shall meet them at the Red Wolf in, say, two days time? Have a little bit of an interview?”

So it’s settled. Killian will meet Emma and the couple in two evening’s time to find out if they’re the right family for Henry.

------

They’re not the right family for Henry.

The wife is nice enough, a sweet woman on the upper end of middle age whose own two children are already gone, making names for themselves in the Queen’s Navy. She seems like the kind of woman you’d want for a loving aunt, who’d pull you into a loving hug and try to fatten you up a little.

Unfortunately, Killian can’t say the same about the husband. He’s a shoemaker by trade, which isn’t a problem, per se, but he seems detached from the whole thing, not excited by the prospect of a child like his wife is, and Killian gets the idea that he’s mostly agreeing to this as a way to get some help in his shop without formally having to take on an apprentice. Frankly, Killian’s a little afraid that Henry would get taken advantage of as another working body by this man, and he’s not at all confident that the wife, lovely though she may be, would have the spine to prevent it. So he expresses his thanks to their faces, and privately resolves that no, Henry will not be going home with these two.

The lad takes the news surprisingly well, especially considering how excited he had been at the prospect of a real proper home. But when Henry is told the bad news, he just shrugs and turns back to whatever wrestling match he and Scarlet had been in the middle of. Killian is just so relieved to not have to handle any tears that he’s willing to take the boy’s reaction at face value and not dig any deeper.

Emma agrees with him about the couple, thankfully. As it turns out, all of Granny’s interactions had been with the wife, and she shares his trepidations about the husband’s attitude and motivations. So they share a couple mugs of ale and resolve to continue searching for the perfect family to take in Henry - someplace where he won’t just be housed and fed, but truly happy. It’s the night Killian learns about Emma’s motivations for doing all this - that she herself grew up in a series of orphanages, overlooked and unloved. She’ll do anything to keep Henry from growing up like that.

(It’s also the night Killian learns how much he likes the way Emma snorts instead of laughs, but that’s entirely irrelevant to the matter at hand.)

Henry is still on board the ship when they cast off again, but Killian feels better about it, knowing that they still need to find the perfect fit for the little lad.

------

The second month with Little Mate goes more or less smoothly. This whole period of time seems to be defined by efforts to grant Henry little gifts. Mr. Smee, at one port, purchases a skein of the most obnoxiously green yarn Killian has ever seen and knits Henry a little hat to match his own. Henry, of course, insists on wearing the bloody thing almost all the time, so he’s become a tiny fluorescent beacon bobbing up and down the ship. Meanwhile, the ship’s carpenter has taken a liking to Henry that has resulted in a series of toys the boy patently Does Not Need, from a collection of building blocks that always seem to be right in the way of Killian’s bare feet at night to a carved wooden sword with intricate patterns on its hilt. Henry loves them all - really, this must be some sort of heaven for a little boy growing up with not nearly enough - but Killian’s favorite is the little step stool Mr. Hollis fashions for the lad so he can man the helm with the captain. Killian has been slowly trying to teach Henry about port and starboard and the basics of steering the Jolly, and while Little Mate is catching on admirably, he’s really more concerned with pretending to be the captain and giving the crew ridiculous orders. It’s very cute, and Killian tends to give the crew permission to follow Henry’s commands when it doesn’t interfere with other work because it makes the boy giggle, and it’s a sound Killian dearly loves to hear.

Even Whale has developed something of a friendship with Henry, despite still not really knowing how to interact with children. Granted, the entire friendship centers around Henry insisting that the good doctor examine his various minor scrapes and bruises, but still, it’s an odd comradery, of a sort. Whale is slowly figuring out how to talk to Henry, so that’s progress, at the very least.

Where they’re not making progress, unfortunately, is with Henry’s nightmares. Killian tries all he can think of to make it better, but to no avail, and there’s finally a night where even tucking the lad in snugly doesn’t help allay the terror. Killian’s already climbed back into bed to try and get back to sleep, but he can still hear the way Henry’s breath is faster than it ought to be and catches at every stray noise. The poor lad is still scared, there’s no two ways around it. And that’s unacceptable. Desperate times call for desperate measures, so he tries a last-ditch ploy he remembers Liam offering when he was young and scared.

“Lad? Do you want to crawl up here with me?”

By the end of the month, even on nights where he hasn’t had a nightmare, Henry still sometimes likes to crawl into Killian’s bunk, his precious blanket in hand, and starfish himself over Killian’s torso like a weighted blanket. It takes some getting used to on Killian’s end, but it helps the boy, and that’s really all he wants.

------

Emma’s second candidates are actually genuinely lovely - the both of them. He’s a baker in the next town over and she’s a dedicated homemaker, the kind of young and cheerful folks Killian would love to send Henry home with for good.

The only problem is that they already have seven children of their own. Seven. Seven children ranging from fifteen to almost two. Their heart is so clearly in the right place, and Killian appreciates their willingness to step up, but he’s not sure he wants Henry to be just one of a crowd.

He and Emma share another drink or two (or four, on his part...if anyone is counting) after the meeting with the rejected couple concludes. Killian keeps feeling like he has to apologize and justify his decision, which only gets worse the more he drinks. It’s especially stupid because Emma isn’t arguing with him.

“I just want what’s best for him,” he tipsily insists once again, before Emma has had enough.

“Would you stop it?” she demands. “I don’t disagree with you! I was just like Henry, once, just a kid who got forgotten and left by the wayside, and I know there’s a big difference between a roof over your head and a home. And that difference is the people.” She softens her tone as she sees his shock at her outburst. “I don’t blame you for being picky about a family for Henry, not for a moment. In fact, I think it’s nice that he has someone in his corner. It’s a lot more than I ever got.”

Killian wants to say more, wants to reach over and cover her hand with his and tell her all about a father who sold his sons for the sake of his own skin (the first time he’s told anyone since Milah), but the look on Emma’s face screams caution, and he knows that if he pushes too much, this could all go sideways. He can’t afford that for Henry’s sake.

So he nods and finishes his drink and tries not to think the words “kindred spirits”, instead steering the conversation to lighter topics, like the latest gossip in town and the places he and Henry have visited together. 

Milah had always craved tales of adventure when trapped in her small town, as do many of the ladies he’s entertained at various ports, so it’s a surprise to hear that, while Emma enjoys hearing about how Henry had reacted to exotic sights, she doesn’t have much any particular desire to travel herself. It’s the strangest thing, as she’s fiery and full of life and energy in all other ways, but is still perfectly content in her corner of the world. When he explicitly asks about her lack of desire to see the world, she shrugs, having to take a moment to collect her thoughts. 

“I guess… well, I guess I was always searching for a home as a kid. And while I may hate my actual rooms, this town, Granny and Ruby and all of my regulars… they’re the closest thing I’ve found to home. I don’t really want to give that up.”

It makes sense to him in that way he thinks only orphans understand. Killian has lived on the Jolly for years, but before that, nothing was stable in his life except for Liam. But he never truly felt lost, because Liam was his home. And then, later, Milah was his home. It was only the in between moments that he felt lost, homeless.

 (He thinks that Henry, and maybe even Emma, could give him back that feeling of home.)

(But Emma and Henry need roots, roots he’s not in a position to provide, so he pushes the thought away once again.)

------

Month three with Henry on the Jolly Roger brings its ups and downs.

The particular high point, for Killian at least, is teaching Henry about the stars, just like Liam did for him. As Henry has gotten more confident in his stay on the Jolly Roger, he’s gotten more squirrelly about his bedtime, and on the nights where the boy is far too awake and very insistent that he won’t go to sleep, Killian has taken to spreading a blanket on the deck for them both to lay on and stare at the stars.

“You see that one there?” he says, pointing at the sky and guiding the boy’s tiny hand. “That’s the pegasus. Do you know what a pegasus is, Henry?”

Henry shakes his head and looks up expectantly in that way that never fails to make Killian’s heart melt.

“A pegasus is a flying horse. They’ve got these lovely, big wings all covered in feathers. No one has seen one in years, but they’re supposed to be absolutely beautiful.” He chances a glance at Henry, who watches him tell the stories with rapt attention. It’s that innocent attention that encourages him to keep talking, address a subject he usually avoids. “Did you know I had a brother, lad?” Henry shakes his head, eyes wide and curious. “Well, I did. His name was Liam, and he was the captain of this ship.”

“But you’re the captain, Killy!” the lad’s little voice pipes up, and it’s enough to make him chuckle.

“Well yes, Little Mate, but I wasn’t always. Liam was in charge first. And once, when he was still captain, we were given the use of a sail covered in pegasus feathers. And do you know what it did, Henry?”The boy shakes his head frantically, and despite the difficult memories the sight of Henry on the edge of his proverbial seat brings a smile back to Killian’s face. “I could scarcely believe it, but it made the entire ship fly - lifted us right out of the water and carried us through the clouds to another land!”

“Can we fly now?” Henry cuts in excitedly, and Killian feels a little knife of guilt over having to deny the boy a single thing.

“Sadly, no, but we can still go any place you want. Just say the word, my boy, and we’ll chart a path, any place you like to go.” It’s the best he can offer, under the circumstances, but Henry is a good enough lad that he readily accepts it and only snuggles in closer. They lay there in a peaceful silence for several minutes before Henry’s voice cuts once again through the night.

“Will you tell me another one, Killy?”

“Of course, lad.” He searches the sky for something else Henry might like, before settling on a small group of stars. There’s not so much a story involved, but he thinks the boy will like it all the same.

“See this one, Henry?” he says, tracing a cross shape with the boy’s pointed finger. “That one is called Cygnus. Do you know what cygnus means?”

He feels more than sees the shaggy head shake against his shoulder. The boy will have to have a haircut soon, but that’s a matter for another day.

“Well, cygnus is the Latin name for a swan.”

Looking down, he can see Henry’s little face light up. “Like Miss Emma?” he asks excitedly.

“Like Miss Emma,” he agrees, and it’s true. Emma is beautiful and slightly dangerous, someone not so make sudden movements around, just like her namesake. He’d hoped that telling Henry about Emma’s star would bring a smile to both of their faces, and it’s worked even better than he had hoped.

There are other good moments, too - it’s wonderful, seeing new places through Henry’s eyes and the wonder he expresses at each new day. It doesn’t hurt that Henry still introduces Killian as “He’s my Hook!” anytime anyone asks, bringing a soft smile Killian hadn’t known he was capable of to his face each time. But all the same, those quiet moments under the stars where Killian has to carry Henry down to bed at the end of the night are his favorites.

Unfortunately, month three also brings the worst moments imaginable when the Jolly Roger is cornered into an unavoidable fight with Henry hidden in the captain’s cabin. It’s not that the ship has become some sort of pleasure cruise since the boy has taken residence; they’re still pirates, and the way a pirate makes their living is by attacking and ransacking other ships. But Killian’s been more careful about his targets in the last months, not wanting to put Henry in undue danger. Primarily, they’ve been attacking ships that are already sitting ducks - somehow crippled, or small, or obviously poorly kept up; ships that won’t take too much effort or danger to subdue. But they’re in the middle of the ocean and some damned child of a pirate captain wants to make a name for himself by taking down the Jolly and her crew, and before Killian knows it, they’re prepping for battle.

He never wanted Henry to be in the middle of this. Of course, there’s plans in his head for if this happens while Henry is on board, but he never wanted any of them to need to be implemented. The battle will be bloody and scary and possibly deadly and gods, he never wanted Henry to hear any of the noises he’s about to hear. 

Killian somehow manages to snag Scarlet as he’s running around prepping cannons and making sure the boarding equipment is where it needs to be. That’s stage one of the plan: keep Henry with Will. He could really use Scarlet up on deck in case this gets ugly, as he’s one of the better swordsmen, but at the same time, he is one of the better swordsmen, perhaps the best after Mulan, and he wants only the best looking after the lad. Plus, Henry loves Will. Having the big idiot keep the lad safe is the best option for Henry and for Killian’s frayed nerves.

“Come with me,” he manages to command the other man, practically dragging him below decks to where Henry is building some sort of tower on Killian’s desk. Bless Scarlet, he understands immediately upon seeing the boy, and nods as reassuringly as he can.

Killian walks over to where Henry is slowly looking more and more nervous and crouches down so they can talk eye to eye. It’s very important that he phrase this correctly so as not to panic the lad any further.

“Now Henry, you might hear some loud, scary noises in a little bit, but it’ll be alright, aye? Mister Will’s going to protect you, there’s absolutely nothing to worry about.”

Henry’s lip has started to tremble, but Will does his best to smile cheerfully. “We’re going to have our own little party, Little Mate, and make everyone jealous of the fun we’re having. Nothing to worry about.”

Still, Killian wraps his arm around the boy’s shoulders to calm him down. “But you’ll be good for Mister Will and make sure you do everything he says, right?”

“Aye, Killy,” Henry mumbles into his shirt, and Killian manages a chuckle despite the fear. 

“That’s a lad. Now you be good and I’ll see you soon, ok?” he says, standing up and allowing the boy to crash into his legs in a fierce hug.

He pulls Scarlet aside on the way out for a final word. “There’s a secret compartment that should be large enough for him underneath the table.”

Scarlet nods solemnly in response, understanding the words as instructions for the worst-case scenario. Killian is only able to return to his duties as captain by reminding himself, repeatedly, that Scarlet will do everything in his power to keep Henry safe, should it come to that.

It doesn’t come to that, thankfully, but the battle is still everything Killian never wanted the boy to hear. There’s no casualties on their side, thank the gods - Killian does not relish the thought of having to explain to Henry why any of the crew won’t be coming back - but their opponent isn’t nearly so lucky. The cocky captain is ultimately spared, but he does lose several crew members and most of the wealth he’s carrying before the ship is effectively crippled and set adrift. Killian’s almost certain he won’t last long at the hands of his own crew, thanks to their anger over their losses, but at least he won’t have to have that particular blood his hands.

He leaves Smee to direct the clean-up as he rushes back down the ladder, stopping only at the sight of the literal blood on his hands. Killian wants so badly to rush right in and gather Henry back into his arms, give him a big hug he’s sure they both need, but there’s no way he can face the boy like this, still covered in the crimson evidence of battle. He’s had worse, especially in his most aimless days, but there’s enough that he’s sure would terrify a small boy. There’s nothing to be done about the shirt, unfortunately, but at the very least he can duck into one of the officer cabins to borrow a washbowl.

It feels like far too long before he finally deems himself clean enough to handle Henry. It’s just in time too, because when Killian opens his door, the boy is on the verge of a complete meltdown, even as Scarlet gently rocks him back and forth on the bed. As Killian enters, the boy bursts into tears and wiggles out of Will’s grip to run into his arms.

“I thought you weren’t coming back!” Henry sobs, and Killian collapses to the floor right in the doorway so as to hold the hysterical child better. 

“Of course I came back, lad, I couldn’t leave my best mate, now could I?” he tries to cajole, but to no avail.

“Misser Will said you’d be back once it was quiet again, but the noises stopped and you still didn’t come…” but the sobs are nearly overtaking him now, and the rest of the sentence is lost in the tears. There’s not much to do for it anymore, so he just rocks the lad back and forth and tries to assure him that he won’t ever leave Henry alone, not if he can help it.

He doesn’t even pretend to put Henry to bed that night, just lets the lad sprawl all over him, for both their sakes and peace of mind.

------

Emma must sense the desperation when they pull back into port a week later, because she cuts right to the chase. There’s another family, and she thinks they’ll both really like them.

And Killian does. They’re a well-to-do family who’s just passing through, but they’re kind, if a little proper and uptight. It’d be a good life for Henry. So after the initial interview - which has somewhat changed into a quasi-interrogation over the past few months, but oh well - Killian agrees to bring Henry by the next day and see how they get on.

Henry, however, does not take to them. It’s not that he’s rude, or mean, he’s just quiet - not the Henry Killian has grown used to seeing these past months. They’re very kind and generous to offer, but it’s just not a good fit for the lad. Killian hates it, but he feels relief, knowing that it means Henry will spend another month in his care.

He haltingly puts that feeling into words on his ship that night, laying on a blanket with Emma and a sleeping Henry after an outing of stargazing.

(“Did you know you have a star, Miss Emma?” Henry had demanded excitedly, and had insisted she come learn the constellations when she had replied in the negative.)

(But then again, the lad had also insisted they buy Miss Emma a flower he proceeded to tell Emma was only from Killian, so Henry may have ulterior motives.)

(Not that Killian particularly minds those motives - he and Emma have grown unexpectedly close in their quest to find a family for the little boy that has brought them together. But there’s something especially blush-worthy about a four year old trying to orchestrate your love life.)

“It’s just going to be so quiet here, without him,” he whispers in the dark. “I know a pirate ship isn’t exactly a silent place, but I swear, he’s wormed himself into every corner.” He pauses. “Is is bad, that I’m happy the family didn’t work out? That I’ll get another month with him?”

He can just feel her fingers brush his where his arm cradles Henry, and it sets a whole different variety of butterflies fluttering in his stomach. “I think it just means that you care for him,” she responds softly. “And there’s nothing wrong with that. Henry could use a whole stable of people in his life who care for him.”

He can hear the faint sadness in her voice, the longing for something she never got, and it causes a pang in his heart in the same area that Henry’s gratefulness for the simplest things he should be used to does. It’s a little tricky with a sleeping four year old on his arm, but his reaches over to tangle his fingers with Emma’s as best he can. 

(It’s moments like this that he wants to carefully store to look back on after Henry leaves, after Emma comes to her senses about associating with an aimless pirate, but he knows there’s no chance of his memory ever exactly capturing this feeling.)

------

Henry’s fourth month on the ship just feels like borrowed time.

The suggested families for Henry have gotten better, more suitable, and Killian fully suspects it’s because Emma’s taken over the search. It’s only a matter of time before she finds the perfect family, and Henry won’t be in his life any longer. So he tries to savor each moment as they come and make sure the lad only has the best of memories of their time together, short as it may be.

The best of memories, unfortunately, is complicated and compromised by Henry’s continued nightmares. They’ve gotten worse since the skirmish, the little boy waking up shaking in terror and crying out. Much as Killian might wish to keep Henry with them forever, the dreams only cement in his mind that a pirate ship is no place for a small child.

Calming Henry down from these dreams is bad enough, but what’s worse is how he’s begun calling for a father who’s not there. Each cry of “Papa!” sends a little shot of pain through his heart because he is not Papa which means that no matter what he does to soothe the boy, it won’t be precisely what he needs.

But Killian tries his hardest all the same, cradling Henry’s small body to his chest and carrying him from his small cot to the marginally larger bunk, whispering all the while that “it’s going to be alright, I’ve got you, Killy’s got you”.

Those nights they eventually both fall back to sleep with the remnants of tears on their faces with a death grip on one another.

------

Emma’s practically bouncing with excitement the next time they dock, and Killian’s heart sinks a little, knowing it means she’s finally found the right family for Henry.

“I think you’ll really like them,” she tells him. “They’re the kind of parents I wanted as a kid.”

And she’s right, of course - he really likes them, despite the corner of his soul that’s desperate to find a fault so he can keep Henry by his side for just a little while longer. They’re actually a pair of locals - a farmer and his wife, but they live further into the country and rarely come into the tavern, so Emma hadn’t even considered them until recently. The wife is a petite little woman who cries when she talks about how their own child had died in the sickness and they’d never been able to have another, her sturdy husband holding and stroking her hand through the sorrowful tale. It’s so easy to tell that they’d love Henry, regardless of blood, that Killian’s concerns are easily wiped away. The only thing left to do is introduce them to the boy himself.

Henry, by some miracle, takes to them immediately. There’s still some of the nerves at first, with the boy looking back at Killian for reassurance, but he’s quickly won over by the couple’s tales from the farm of their pair of sheepdogs and the small apple orchard and their stubborn cow who insists on going where she pleases, regardless of any prodding in various directions. Henry is so clearly enchanted by their descriptions of a proper home, and Killian’s heart beats a little easier through the lingering sadness, knowing this precious, happy boy will be absolutely cherished.

 It’s bittersweet, walking back to the Jolly with a small hand within his own, knowing this will be the last time they do so together. Henry is somewhat subdued himself - has been all afternoon, come to think of it, despite his excitement about his new parents - so Killian thinks he can’t be alone in the sentiment. He’s trying to drown the sorrow in lists of things to do, things to pack (the storybook Will bought the lad in Glowerhaven, the pair of pants with the hole in them he hasn’t had a chance to fix…), but it’s not quite working, and most of the walk is spent in a sorrowful silence.

The rest of the day seems normal. Henry wanders off to tell Scarlet all about the “nice man and lady” and Killian sheds several tears while bundling all the lad’s things together - Gods, he has so much stuff now compared to when he arrived - but none of that is unexpected.

Things only take a turn for the unusual after dark. Killian had hoped to maybe spend one more evening under the stars with Henry, but the lad is downright lethargic, and ready for bed. That should have been Killian’s first clue, but it’s only later that he realizes something is really wrong.

No, the real first clue is when Henry wakes up not even three hours later with his teeth chattering.

“Papa?” he mumbles. “I don’t feel good.”

(Killian’s far too concerned to even worry about the fact that Henry is trying to call him Papa.)

And sure enough, when Killian goes to check, brows furrowed in concern, Henry is burning up, far warmer than little boys should ever be, and his eyes are all dull and glassy. Something is obviously wrong, something Killian can only imagine Henry picked up in a distant port.

There’s no time for speculation, though. Henry is sick, and Killian doesn’t know what to do. His first thought is Whale - the doctor should be able to fix this or at least help the poor mite - but Whale is off god knows where trying to get under some girl’s skirt, and not to be found. But Killian’s panicking and Henry needs something now and he doesn’t know how to fix it and somehow, they’re standing outside of the Red Wolf, Henry bundled into his beloved blanket in his arms and sweating buckets, without any memory of how they got here.

He somehow manages to find Emma, and it’s probably it’s own kind of miracle that he’s able to convey to her what the problem is despite the rising panic in his eyes and voice. She offers her own frown upon feeling his feverish head, and before he knows it, he and Henry have been ushered upstairs to one of the rooms in the inn.

“Do you know where he caught it?” Emma asks, failing to mask her own urgency.

Killian shakes his head in return. “It could be any number of ports…” he trails off. They’ve been to so many places in the last month alone; there’s no telling what Henry may have picked up.

“I think it’s just the flu,” Emma cuts in quietly, interrupting the blur of his thoughts. “But even that can be dangerous. I need you to go downstairs and tell Granny we need some broth and her chest salve. I want to try and make sure his chest doesn’t get too clogged up.”

Killian nods in relief; this is something he can do, fetch materials for the people who actually know what they’re doing, but Henry’s panicked cry stops him in his tracks. 

“Papa!”

And there’s no question, Emma will have to get the things she asked for because Killian is not leaving the little lad. He may be a pirate and he may not be Henry’s father but when the lad calls for his papa, it is still Killian’s job to comfort him. 

He gently holds Henry’s sweaty hand as he collapses into the chair next to the bed. “Papa?” the lad pipes again, but softer this time, calmer.

“It’s Killian, lad. Killy - your Hook.”

But Henry just sighs in relief and nods, like the matter is settled. “Papa.”

Oh.

Oh.

He shouldn’t be surprised, with the massive role he’s played in the boy’s life these past four months, but it still takes his breath away to hear that title falling from Henry’s lips in relation to him. It’s with no small lump in his throat that he’s finally able to reply.

“Yes, lad, Papa’s here. I’m going to take real good care of you, aye? Papa’s not going anywhere.”

------

A pirate ship is no place for a young boy.

But that just means Killian gives up on the whole pirate lark and goes straight once more, changing the Jolly’s name to the Swan’s Song and going into business fetching whatever the townspeople might need from far off corners of the land. 

It doesn’t happen overnight, of course; it’s a process, starting with addressing his decision to permanently take Henry in himself. The couple who are supposed to take Henry are gracious about the change of plans when Killian comes down the next day, exhausted and with hair shooting every which way, to tell them that Henry won’t be coming with them after all, that he’s going to assume care of the lad for good. Apparently, they had suspected as much, and are even kind enough to offer to let the two come visit if Henry ever wants to see the farm animals.

Next comes settling matters with his crew. Most have been there for years, and while Killian has never doubted their loyalty, switching to a life lived on the right side of the law is not what most of them signed up for. He can’t say for certain that they’ll follow him into this new endeavor. But he underestimates their faithfulness to himself and Henry; to a man, everyone decides to stay and embrace a new way of life, as long as Killian is still the captain.

(He does not cry over that, but it’s close. Clearly, Henry has made him go soft, though he can’t say he’d change a thing.)

He tries to wait to start something with Emma until all the other matters are settled, but he’s ultimately too impatient. His ducks are mostly in a row, having tearfully informed Henry that he’s not going anywhere, effectively retiring from piracy and informing the crew as such, but he would have liked to have purchased a proper home first - a way to give Emma the roots she so deserves. But Henry keeps needling him in his four year old way, and there’s really no denying that the very mention of Emma’s name makes Killian smile like some lovestruck schoolboy, so patience be damned. He may stroll confidently down to the Red Wolf Inn, but it’s still an incredible relief when Emma accepts his invitation for a night on the water, just the two of them, with a wide smile.

The house comes later. It’s not much - a small cottage on the coast a short walk from the town proper - but he can smell the sea wafting through the rooms and there’s room for flowerbeds on either side. Henry is enamored by the lofted area up by the rafters, and Killian’s already making plans to turn it into a bedroom for the boy before he even truly realizes he’s made the decision to buy the place. Money isn’t an issue after years of piracy, and the place is officially theirs sooner than he would have thought possible. 

There’s not even a moment of questioning whether he’ll invite Emma to live with them. It’s only been a month since that first date, but Killian knows he’s in this for the long haul. He’s seen her rooms - they’re just as tiny as described, perhaps even more so. It may look like a whirlwind romance to others, but he already knows this is meant to be a home for all three of them - him and Emma and Henry. It wouldn’t be right to have one of those pieces missing. So Emma gathers up her belongings, and Killian swears that the main room seems brighter the moment she steps inside for good, just by thanks of her presence.

It’s truly nice, being able to settle into a more stable life, something he and the crew frankly all need as they get older. Many of the men are still living on the ship, but there’s a not insignificant portion who have decided to put down their own roots. Will even takes the opportunity to finally marry the lovely Miss French, an occasion they all celebrate. Some days, Killian thinks they’re all on their way to becoming sedentary old men and women. 

(He can’t truly bring himself to complain.)

The transition isn’t entirely smooth, of course. Henry is devastated the first time he has to stay behind on land, and Killian is a little devastated to leave him, but Emma will be there in the neat little house to watch over him, so it’s not as bad as they both act. Emma will watch over him with all the love in her heart, and they’ll both be waiting whenever he steps back on land. Some days, he misses the feel of the ocean waves rocking him to sleep, but his heart hadn’t really been in piracy for a while; he’d been wandering the oceans aimlessly, until Henry had come along to give him a new purpose. 

Lately, Henry’s been hinting about a wedding, but neither Killian nor Emma are in any rush. They may be living together and raising a child together, but they’re in no hurry to get married. He’s a reformed pirate and she’s a stubborn barmaid; tradition has already been thrown to the wind, so there’s no real need to do things just because anyone says they should.

Killian still plans to ask, one day, some indeterminate time when the sun is shining and they’re all incandescently happy and it’s right (because if there’s anything he’s learned from this journey, it’s the importance of the right fit, the right moment). But there’s no real urgency - he’s got all the time in the world.

After all, with a former lost boy and lost girl by his side, how could he ever need anything else?

[brohood-assassins-imagines]

Disney Movies

A/N: I don’t have a good explanation for this. I truly don’t. Forgive me, it’s 3 am and I wrote this in a single day and I know I have soulmates and a few other requests and fics to tend to. I’m too inconstant. I’m a big kid, what can you do?

Altaïr Ibn-La’Ahad

The Lion King! I’m sure Simba’s history and the talk about “who you are” would touch Altaïr’s apparently “cold and stoic” heart — but you know him well enough to tell apart the truth and what he tells others. He knows most of quotes and secretly memorized “The Circle of Life” accidentally, even though you could swear his favorite song was “Just Can’t Wait to Be King” — you found out when you woke up one morning and Altaïr was in the kitchen, brewing coffee and humming the song while he watched the steam rise up with a distant look. The movie has kinda turned into a comfort animation he turns to every once in a while just to keep the memory of the feeling he had when Simba climbed the rock and roared to claim his place as the king.

Ezio Auditore

Aladdin! What movie would be better fitting for Ezio than the history of a underdog who charms an upperclass girl — in this case, a princess — and they both fall in love? He has lots of feelings towards that movie, especially when it comes to the “hidden messages” in it about humility, love and friendship. The fact that Aladdin was his favorite Disney animation was never a secret, since he told you about that with a sheepish smile in one of your first dates and sang the chorus of “A Whole New World” just to prove a point. Ezio generally turns to that movie in cold and rainy days, when he can cuddle you and watch it together and play-sing his favorite song together.

Connor | Ratonhnhaké:ton

Brother Bear! Have you guys expected anything else? When he was younger, Connor decided that this was his favorite movie because he used to love bears — but came to adore it even more after he got old enough to understand how truly beautiful the movie is. As he matured, he could read through the lines and understand more about friendship, what it means to be family and love. Connor won’t admit it, but he can’t listen to “No Way Out” without feeling bad. It’s a movie that has a deep emotional connection to him, considering he lost his mother when still young, so when you are watching it together and it comes to the bit where Kenai tells the truth about Koda’s mother… You will see Connor flustered and tearing up because it’s too much.

Haytham Kenway

The Aristocats! Haytham is, clearly, a cat person. The narrative, despite being simple and “silly” in a certain way, was his first and favorite movie when he was a kid, so he holds it in a high regard. It took him some time to actually work it out and come to tell you which was his favorite movie and why. After some insistence he told you it was Aristocats because he “likes cats” — he’s a simple man, truly. Haytham will never come around to admit it, but he still knows some parts of the lyrics to “Everybody Wants to be a Cat” and if you stay for long enough around Edward, he’ll tell you about how flustered Haytham became when the butler tried to get rid of Duchess and her kitties. That’s when Haytham decided he’d never be taking you to any Kenway family dinners ever again.

Edward Kenway

Treasure Planet! Of course it would be treasure planet. Imagine how marveled Edward would be at the chance to sail into the space in a ship. He can relate in a certain way to the young Jim, with everyone trying to tell him what to do and how he should behave — ever since a young age, Edward knew he was having none of that. The sense of adventure he shares with the character when they’re looking for the spaceship, the eager gasp and look he gave the TV when the map opened up to lead the way to the treasure and, more importantly, when Jim solved the puzzle to where the treasure was hidden. When Edward matured, he could see the movie was more about camaraderie, long lasting friendships and a spark of a thing he couldn’t quite pin down; but he never let go of that movie.

Arno Dorian

The Beauty and The Beast! The story of a beautiful and king girl who ends up falling in love with a monster? Sign Arno the fuck up. Let’s not forget that the movie is also an old French tale, so Arno has been familiar with it his whole life. For him, it’s the way that Belle ends up understanding the Beast, seeing how he can be good despite frightening and the ill-tempered behavior. Arno has a romantic soul, so nothing better than a movie about the power of love, lessons about humility and kindness and, above all, a beautiful ending where the main characters stay together. Arno actually knows how to sing the main song, although he does it in French. If you want to see Arno melt and blush, just kiss his face during the ball scene between Belle and the prince. He has a soft spot for love stories.

Evie Frye

Mulan! Evie simply adores Mulan. It has been her favorite movie since forever, always competing with Jacob about what they’d watch — of course, she’d always pick the movies first. Even from a young age, Evie could understand the lessons about determination and courage that the movie passed, which is why she chose Mulan to be the movie she would love forever. There isn’t a particular song that Evie loves about the movie, but the bit that gets to her is when Mulan saves the Chinese Emperor. That’s when she decided that no one could tell her what or what not to do. After all, if Mulan could save an Empire, she could very well do the same or more.

Jacob Frye

Peter Pan! London? Flying away to a distant land with fairies and other kids who fight against pirates and never grow up? Please. Peter Pan was made for Jacob. He’d wait all day and even endure the silly movies Evie would put him through — he watched Mulan so many times that “Make a Man Out of You” was engraved into his brain. Since Evie was always around and a unending source of comfort when their father was away, he came to understand Wendy’s position about her siblings quite early — he would never forgive their father if he forced Evie and him to share separated rooms when younger, although his position changed with time. Jacob loved Peter Pan so much he longed for the day when his chance would appear, often leaving the bedroom window open, even during winter. You probably would come to find out this was Jacob’s favorite movie when Evie teased him about that and he blushed deeply at her, eyes widening and, believe it or not, words dying in his throat.

Desmond Miles

Hercules! Thinking about it, Hercules and Desmond share quite a lot of things — starting with: none of them actually asked for this. Ever since early, Desmond came to adore Hercules — he even managed to convince William to buy him a Pegasus plush at some point, a memory he left behind in his bedroom, much to his regret. With no reason at all, his favorite song ever was “I Won’t Say I’m in Love”, even though he can never remember the whole lyrics but the chorus. Desmond has probably asked you to watch Hercules more than a few times, just he could show how exactly how deeply he knew the quotes of the movie. In a very young age, Desmond came to understand about honor, nobility and the importance of choosing your own way, which eventually led him to bolt.

[sambashua]

92 questions/random questions/8 things tag~

hello friends !!! i’ve done the first two tags before but it’s been quite a while so ?? let’s see if i can come up w new responses i guess?? also these all have similar-ish questions so i thought i’d combine them so i don’t clog up everyone’s dashes~

tagged by (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ(ilya so dang much my favorite muffins)

92 questions: mariel! @jaehyunscult kelby! @yooncheoly and claudia! @s-lay-ing 

random questions: kolbo! @yooncheoly ommo! @strawberryboo​ and cloodoo! @s-lay-ing 

eight things: em! @seoulscapes mj! @jungnoir and kat! @atshinee

i’m going to tag @everyonesabiaswrecker @hoshi-ssi @king-hao @moonhyook @taeismyking @honestlay @yoonsunha @amessence @kylamassie1 @peachesandkili and also the beans who tagged me above!! you can do one of the ones you didn’t tag me in hehe(≧◡≦)

you guys can choose whichever tags you want!! or all of them ? idk it’s basically either long, easy or creative so whatever you feel like doing… or do none of them!! that works too! if you don’t want to be tagged just let me knowwww also you rlly don’t have to read this whole thing it is so damn long… but w/o further ado…

92 questions

the last…

1. drink: water

2. phone call: my grandma !

3. text message: “THEBOP OF THE SUMMER” (sic)

4. song you listened to: ‘love paint (every afternoon)’ by NU’EST started playing before i got out of the car last night… WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED I WATCHED MX’S NEWTON THIS MORNING OH MY GOD THE BOP OF THE SUMMER THAT’S WHAT THE TEXT WAS ABT BTW

5. time you cried: hmmmm not monsta x surprisingly ? but we have some rlly spicy food in LA and @everyonesabiaswrecker @taeismyking and i had to hide our eyes from the waiter lol

have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: nooo (as i said last time i’ve never dated so these are all no’s so you can skip around a bit i suppose)

7. been cheated on: nooo

8. kissed someone and regretted it: nooo

9. lost someone special: yea

10. been depressed: nope

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: drinking makes ya do bad stuff kids

list three favorite colors (12-15)…

grey, light blue nd light green !

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: yeAH SO MANY! irl and online i’m so thankful for everyone i’ve met~~ since i started uni i was rlly nervous abt meeting people and although i have one (1) new friend irl (shoutout to my main main main kat @atshinee literally where would i be w/o you i probably woulda gotten stuck at camp bc of the hail storm) i’ve met countless lovely individuals online that i am forever grateful for;;; now i’m being all sappy someoNE STOP ME

16. fallen out of love: nooo

17. laughed until you cried: almost everyday~~

18. found out someone was talking about you: oh yea

19. met someone who changed you: YES

20. found out who your true friends are: yeah!

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: nooooooooooooooope

general stuff

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: idk like probably actually 80% but they’re not people i talk to now ? (kat still yells at me abt my answer last time)

23. do you have any pets: I GOT TWO CATS TOM TOM AND MYSTERY THEY ARE ADORABLE BEANS ND I LIKE TO BRAG ABT THEM SO ASK ME FOR PICS

24. do you want to change your name: i like my name a lot tbh (there’s so many endless nickname possibilities honestly)

25. what did you do for your last birthday: i got gelato w two of my closest frandssss and also listened to nct dream like the whole day it was the best

26. what time did you wake up: um m m i think 9? yesterday i went to bed at 3:30 and woke up at 7:30 so i slept in more today lol

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: trying to read a soonhoon fic from eep and messaging ivy:D

28. name something you cannot wait for: uM IDK EVERYTHING I WAS WAITING FOR ALREADY HAPPENED i guess just moving back to school and starting classes??? i’m so anxious ugh

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: 4 ? hours ago ?

30. what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: um idk i think i’m pretty blessed to be completely honest

31. what are you listening to right now: there’s construction going on in the distance idk what they’re doing but it is LOUD

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i’m so shook people haven’t talked to any toms i’ve met so many i don’t undeRSTAND

33. something that is getting on your nerves: ignorance *finger guns*

34. most visited website: tumblr (i haven’t been on youtube much lately cry)

35. elementary school: yeahhh

36. high school: yeahhh

37. college: yeahhh

38. hair color: blonde 

39. long or short hair: it’s so long rn i’m constantly choking on it

40. do you have a crush on someone: crushes are for noobs

41. what do you like about yourself: “everything, love yourself.” -kat

42. piercings: ears but i never wear them

43. blood type: idk my parents are both AB so my mom says we’re that too but mom that’s not how genetics work

44. nickname: i have so many but my most common one is mir~ i answer to anything tho

45. relationship status: engaged to jeon wonwoo

46. zodiac sign: cancer~

47. pronouns: she/her

48. favorite tv show: game of thrones or below deck (watch it it’s a reality show abt a yacht crew it’s so entertaining) 

49. tattoos: nope i’m too indecisive

50. righty or lefty: right

first…

51. surgery: i had surgery junior year of high school

52. piercing: did they not already ask this oh jk this is first well i still only have ears

53. best friend: in the womb bitchhh (-8 months would be the official age)

54. sport: i think karate ? my dad is super sporty tho so sister and i tried every sport known to man

55. vacation: probably washington bc i have a lot of family there

56. pair of sneakers: literally who knows this tho

right now…

57. eating: nothing

58. drinking: now i’m drinking tea

59. i’m about to: eat a bagel maybe

60. listening to: good luck by aoa (yessss my girls)

61. waiting for: jordyn to get off work so i can see her new dorm:D

62. do you want kids: i always have

63. do you want to get married: i don’t really know marriage seems so outdated…

64: what career do you want: journalist (yay)

which is better…

65. hugs or kisses: hugs!

66. lips or eyes: eyes!

67. shorter or taller: i don’t have much preference but i’m tall and i like being tall

68. older or younger: i don’t really care bc some older people are really immature and some younger people are really mature so~

70. nice arms or nice stomach: i really really don’t care

71. sensitive or loud: these honestly aren’t even antonyms

72. hook up or relationship: relationship

73. troublemaker or hesitant: i’ve never been a troublemaker so ?

have you ever…

74. kissed a stranger: nooo

75. drank hard liquor: neh ?

76. lost glasses/lenses: i have above average vision boiiiii

77. turned someone down: i mean;;;; i think most people have at least indirectly

78. had sex on the first date: nooo

79. broken someone’s heart: i really doubt it lol

80. had your heart broken: jeon wonwoo breaks my heart daily

81. been arrested: nooo

82. cried when someone died: yeahh

83. fallen for a friend: no

do you believe in…

84. yourself: YEAH I GOT THIS! YOU GOT THIS! WE ALL GOT THIS!

85. miracles: maybe ?

86. love at first sight: not even a little bit

87. santa claus:

LOOK AT SOONYOUNG I’M LAUGHING

88. kiss on the first date: i mean i don’t see why not

89. angels: maybe ?

other…

90. current best friends name: sister n em n kat n cass n jords n val :3

91. eye color: grey ish

92. favorite movie: the proposal was my favorite movie for so long;;; i liked moonlight a lot too go see it

random questions

dude i fucking forgot abt this one i thought i was done fuck (why is this font so tiny)

relationship status: single for 19 years bishhhhhhhh favorite color: grey!! but i’ve been feelin orange lately hmmmm lipstick or chapstick: i like tinted lip balm:) but i even use vaseline sometimes try it okay it makes yo lips so soft last song you listened to: well i already said so i’ll do what’s stuck in my head rn: coffee by bts (it’s so good i get such calming vibes from it) last movie you watched: BABY DRIVER it was so ffffff good 100/10 would rec~ the car chases were so cool dude also ansel elgort is such a cutie top 3 characters: i’ll as april ludgate from parks n rec (are you happy jords), celaena from throne of glass, ndddd risa koizumi from lovcom:) top 3 ships: jejun ! soonwoo ! MARKHYUCK(ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ books you are currently reading: rnnnn i’m STILL reading heir of fire (don’t worry cass i will finish it in time) top 5 musicals: mulan is endlessly iconic okay, hsm, phantom of the opera, the sound of music nd mama mia !

eight things

last movie watched: baby driver hoo hoo last song listened to: me gustas tu bitchhhhh last book read: Crown of Midnight still oops sorry cass i’m so damn slow these days  last thing eaten: fig newtons (buy newton by monsta x on itunes) if you could be anywhere right now, where would you be: wherever @atshinee​ is because i want to support her for her test but i know i would probably just distract her:(((((( a fictional character you would hang out with for the day: probably dorian from throne of glass bc he just seems like such a lovable dork i want to give him a big ole hug he needs it  what fictional world/universe would you want to spend a week in: i used to be obsessed w the series Gregor the Overlander as a kid and i’d really want to spend a day there that would be so awesome esp the one where they travel through the one rainforest jungle… but also Harry Potter bc i rlly want to go to hogwarts and just;;; look around? it’s so pretty and i want to see all the paintings and staircases and the people it’d be great last video game played: i’ve never rlly played video games… i used to play the sims does that count rip

well it’s finally frickin done i doubt anyone bared w me for this trainwreck…….. i’m so tired now will i even do more of these today jk i gotta i am so behind but no selfie tags i look trash