#so many people are like 'this is the sound of my preteens' or whatever

[meneatyoghurt]

Ok, I'm finally breaking, I need to know.

I had literally never heard of Get Low before. I thought maybe I was too old for it but apparently it came out in 2003 so that's not it.

So am I just not American enough for it? Or did I just not go to any parties?

[isroji]

Enjoy the silence | Travis Hackett | Chapter I

The sheriff of North kill

Summary: The summer finally arrives and Hackett's quarry opens it doors again. This year, with a new counselor. A pretty pretty particular one. Of course, as everything related to North kill, Travis Hackett ends up involved.

TW: Teen pregnancy, age gap relationship, eventual smut, topics such as immigration mentioned.

Things to know before reading: foreign OC, changes to the original plot.

Author's note: I needed so bad to write about this man. Please keep in mind English is not my first language, so, if you see any kind of grammar mistake, feel free to tell me about it. I hope you enjoy it.

•

—Oh, my little girl...

•

"So... we have a little shy one here, don't we?"

Chris Hackett's words made Camila smile. She moved her head slightly, looking at the little boy who was hiding behind her leg. A gentle hand rested on the child's head, caressing it tenderly.

"Carlos, this is Chris," the girl said, pointing to the man in front of her. "Come on, mi amor, say hi."

Carlitos, as his mother lovingly called him, peeked out one of his small eyes. Compared to him, Chris looked much bigger. He didn't like it when big men approached him and his mother, although he also had some parts of his hair painted white, which reminded him somehow of his grandfather. He waved his little hand in greeting.

"There he is!" Chris exclaimed happily.

Genuine happiness flashed across his eyes. Carlitos' shyness reminded him of his eldest daughter when she was just a little girl. Past times, better times.

Dylan, the boy next to Chris, scratched his neck uncomfortably. He knew how to deal with the children at the camp, but this one here was much smaller.

"So..." He squatted down, wanting to be at the same height as the kid "How old are you?" He asked, trying to sound as friendly as possible.

Carlos opened the palm of his hand, displaying the number 5. The only three people who heard the child speak were Camila and her grandparents. No one really understood why, but with the others he limited himself to mere physical expressions and whatever his big brown eyes could convey. This being a relief, since he was a very expressive little boy.

"Quite a big boy!" Said Abigail, who, along with the other two girls, seemed delighted by the presence of that boy.

She could already see the image of Carlos showing his hand captured in her drawing notebook.

Babies always caused a sensation among women, Camila knew it. Her's was no longer exactly a baby, but he was quite a cutie. She understood it. If she could, she would also spend the day squeezing those cheeks.

Again, shame flooded Carlos, hiding his face in his mother's leg.

Camila sighed.

"He's a little shy, but I assure you he's very kind. Right, Carlitos?" She asked, continuing with the action of stroking his head.

He nodded. He always got nervous when he had to be around so many people. Especially if they were big people. Lots of eyes on him, lots of attention.

"We are very happy that you have arrived, the other counselor who was supposed to work with you in the nursery has not arrived yet and from the looks of it, she will not." Chris spoke, finally bringing the important topic to the table; the job.

Camila clicked her tongue.

"Looks like it'll just be you and me in the infirmary, baby." She commented to his son.

Carlitos, with his face protected by his mother's leg, smiled. He liked being her assistant.

Ryan, the only one who hadn't said a single word in all this time, finally entered to the conversation.

"Actually, another counselor is also missing..." He sounded almost sorry. Kept looking at Carlos.

He was part of that group that didn't really know how to deal with the 5-year-old boy. Preteens were simple. He told them his horror stories and let them stay outside at night for 15 more minutes and they already loved him. In this case, he had a little boy just as reserved as him, who also didn't even know how to read or write. Or he did? At what age did children learn to write?

Chris looked at him, as if reproaching the comment. Camila didn't pay attention.

"It's good that there are two of us here." Was her response, making most of those present laugh.

Half joke, half reality. She would be lying if she said this was the first time her son accompanied her to work. Being a young single mother robbed her of many privileges, and the truth is that Carlitos was already more than used to following her everywhere, no matter what job it was.

When the laughter stopped, Chris returned to his usual role.

"Well, guys, no more wasting time. Show Camila and Carlos the cabins and the place in general. Our campers arrive tomorrow and everything must be ready." He ordered, encouraging the young people around him.

Camila, somewhat different from the rest, was very excited to start the work. Unlike the others, this was her first time as a counselor. Everyone already knew the place, except her and her faithful companion. She knew so few places in the country where she lived that this felt like a real adventure.

She took the bags with her. Watching Chris disappear through the door of the large house, she stopped to take a look to her surroundings. Carlitos mentioned when they were on the road that those trees were the biggest he had ever seen, and if she thought about it, believed the same. It was barely 7 in the morning and the sun was already beginning to shine brightly, forcing her to leave her pair of sunglasses on. Being the city girl that she was, she found it annoying how much people from areas like this exaggerated the subject of views and landscapes, but now that she walked among them herself, she admitted that even the colors felt more vivid and beautiful. How happy it made her that her son was going to spend one of his first summers in a place like that.

Lost in the landscape, a male voice brought her back to the moment.

"It's a long walk to the cabins, little friend..." Jacob, the "big guy" of the group, began to speak, addressing Carlos. "Do you want to ride on my shoulders?"

Suddenly, Carlos's shy face lit up. He let go of his mother's hand and ran to Jacob, just as he did with his grandfather, who, when taking him to preschool, also made him sit on his shoulders. Jacob smiled like a child, picking up the little boy as soon as he arrived and placing him on his shoulders.

"It's the best view, right?" He asked, holding the kid's legs firmly.

Camila, partly relieved at how comfortable her son seemed with him and partly anxious about the number of accidents her mind was imagining from such a sudden action, was not too sure about allowing her son to make the walk on Jacob's shoulders, the guy who seemed taken from the American series she watched when she was a teenager.

Jacob, noticing Camila's nervous gaze on him, spoke.

"Don't worry! I have carried much heavier things."

Things, not children. Specifically, not her child.

The blonde who had introduced herself as Emma a few minutes ago suddenly appeared near Camila.

"Don't worry about him, he's harmless," She said in a low, almost confident voice. "Your child will have another child to play with."

Oh, Camila knew it.

"That's precisely what worries me," she admitted, laughing.

The guys around her seemed nice. They all looked equally young, equally inexperienced. She probably looked like that in their eyes too, with the only difference being carrying a little guy at her side and the experience that this brought.

Carlos was always surrounded by teenagers. From his birth, when 17-year-old Camila cradled him in her arms, until today. Her mother's friends were the first babysitters in his life, the exception being when an university teacher would swing his baby carriage when she found Camila asleep in some corner of the classroom. In general, both his mother and his friends grew up with him. All this, being Camila's biggest concern regarding the summer that was coming. She was going to deal with people her own age, but unlike her, they did not yet have the responsibility of a child. Maybe she thought too much, according to Chris this was everyone's second year as monitors, they would already know how to handle the children. She didn't want to be prejudiced, she really didn't, but when it came to caring for her son...

"Calm down, mama bear." Emma whispered, almost reading Camila's thoughts.

She couldn't do anything but smile. It would definitely be a fun summer for her and Carlitos. The best, for sure. She had a feeling that this month and a half would feel like a class on how to stop being an overprotective mom. At least the first step had already been taken.

•

"New counselors?"

Chris Hackett looked away from the papers in his hand, watching his older brother in the doorway. Travis had this ability to appear suddenly, without even a single noise to warn of his presence. The years had gotten him used to it, but from time to time it gave him a little scare.

"Mhmm." Was his response, continuing with the long paperwork that would surely have him sitting there all day.

Could someone tell parents that information documents about their children didn't need to have things like "favorite food"?

Travis walked into the office. Chris couldn't see it, but he was tense. He didn't know how to shake off that discomfort that invaded him every time he had to talk to his brother about that topic, especially when the bad news was included.

A strange throat clearing came from the older one. Chris looked at him again.

This time the youngest Hackett did notice the image of his brother.

"Tell me no one is dead, please." He asked. His voice sounded pleading, matching the tiredness that his gaze conveyed.

Travis looked away. He hated being the bearer of bad news. He knew that from the moment the moon set and the sun gave way to a new day in Northkill, he must have talked to his brother about certain events of the previous night, he knew it. However, he couldn't.

"The counselors you told me about..." He started, but his brother didn't let him continue.

"Bitten? Dead?" He asked, straight to the point.

"Dead. It seems that Silas was on the road last night." He reported, as if it were another of his police reports. It was simpler that way.

If it didn't feel so personal, it didn't matter, right?

Liar. Damn old liar.

Chris sighed, letting his head fall.

Travis, now even more uncomfortable, walked towards one of the windows. Seeing the beauty of the camp where many years ago (too many, if he thought about it) he was so happy, always helped him feel better. However, it was something else that caught his attention. His face wrinkled, looking confused.

"I thought the children were arriving tomorrow..." He mentioned, watching the group of counselors walk.

He doubted his eyesight was failing him. He was more than sure that the one on the boy's shoulders was a kid, and one much smaller than the ones his brother received each year for camp.

Ugh, the camp. Cruel reminder that his job would become more difficult for a month and a half. He didn't like children and their ability to get into trouble.

Chris looked at his brother.

"Yes, they'll arrive tomorrow," he stated, getting up and walking towards the window with Travis. "He is the son of one of my counselors. The one who goes there."

Travis, taking his eyes off the boy and the child, followed his brother's finger until he found the aforementioned. He couldn't help but be surprised. Was he already that old? Or did that girl look exaggeratedly young?

Chris saw the surprise in his brother.

"I know." It was his only comment.

He also had the same expression as Travis when he first met Camila. Everyone, really. The other counselors, although a little less, were also surprised when that small human being appeared holding the girl's hand.

"She doesn't look older than Kaylee." Travis said, still looking at the young woman.

"She is, but only for two years. She is twenty-two." Chris answered.

As soon as his brother mentioned the girl's age, Travis stopped looking at her.

Don't you think you're too old to be seeing twenty-two-year-old girls?

The amount of questions Travis had in his head regarding her vanished. The less he knew, the better. He turned around, walking a couple of steps and leaving the window.

Great, as if it wasn't difficult to take care of teenagers and pre-teens, now he had to take care of that. Little children were a big no for him. Very curious, very easy to lose sight of. He remembered his nephew Caleb in his first years of life and all the scares he gave Chris and Amelia when he decided to play at being an adventurer in the forest.

"Don't you think it's a little dangerous to have such a young child in Hackett's Quarry?" he asked, back to his usual bitter sheriff appearance.

Chris, still at the window, didn't seem worried.

"You think too much."

His brother's favorite phrase. Travis hated it. It wasn't that he thought too much, it was that he was the only one in his family who thought. Of course, he fixed everything.

Sure, if the kid saw something he shouldn't have, if he got lost where he shouldn't get lost or something happened to him that wasn't supposed to happen to him; It would be his fault. Because, how could Sheriff Hackett let that happen?

The eldest Hackett hastened his departure. He wasn't going to talk to Chris, there was no point. They never listened to him, this wouldn't be the first time. He prayed that this girl would know how to take care of her little... creature.

Creature? Oh, Travis, what's wrong with you?

"Just... Keep the boy away from the forest, okay? Last year it was a pain in the ass to have to look for your lost camper."

And with that, he left. He had bigger problems waiting for him at his police station. Problems that perhaps he should have share with Chris, but he would prefer, of course, to be the one to bear the responsibility.

He did not expect that when he left the house, a meeting with that girl who he had looked so much from the window would be waiting for him.

Camila's big eyes met the tall, strange figure of a police officer. A policeman? It took her mind several seconds to assimilate that yes, she had a police officer in front of her. One too high. Too serious.

Camila, even though she had already passed that moment in her life where she should have had reasons to fear encountering a police officer, still felt a certain unease in their presence. There were no reasons, not anymore, but bad habits were difficult to erase. She didn't know if her face reflected it, but coming across one so abruptly (especially one so visually intimidating) left her in shock for a moment.

Long seconds of silence passed between the two. Travis, without transmitting any emotion in the sight of Camila. And she, of course, looking like a confused mouse in his eyes. He didn't find that reaction new, in fact, it was the most common.

Young and foolish, the older man imagined. How much shine in those scared eyes. Big and shiny.

Camila, seeking to somehow cut the awkwardness of the situation, decided to speak first. It was hard to get the words out of her mouth.

"Um..." She cut herself off, clearing her throat "Hello."

Travis didn't recognize the accent. He knew it wasn't even remotely close to Northkill, but he didn't find it similar to any he'd heard before. It was strong, too strong for such a high voice.

Camila waited for a word from the man, but her wait was in vain. More seconds full of silence and discomfort. Was it her idea or was he terrifying?

"I... I have to..." She didn't know what to say or how to make the moment less strange "Pass? Chris?"

Finally, the policeman in front of her showed signs of life. A raised eyebrow and an obvious what? captured on the man's face made Camila understand that he understood absolutely nothing of what she said. English in itself was difficult for her, in situations like this the concept of fluency was not exactly her strong point.

"I mean, I need to talk to Chris. The owner of the camp?" She said this time, still faltering over the words, but a little more coherent.

Even more doubt. No, that way of pronouncing the words... He didn't find it similar to anything.

Camila didn't know if a divine deity felt pity for her, or if Chris simply heard the strange interaction, but the owner of the camp appeared behind the police officer.

"Chris!" Camila exclaimed, relieved.

Chris looked at her and then at his brother. It was like going back years to when he would ask a girl out and by bad luck she would end up bumping into his brother. Travis Hackett was no expert when it came to human interactions. Worse if it was a woman, especially a pretty one.

A sight was heard from the youngest Hackett.

"Camila, this is my brother, Travis," he presented, placing a hand on the aforementioned's shoulder. "He is the sheriff of North kill."

Camila nodded slowly. They didn't look like brothers, and if they really were, they looked like a version of a good twin and a bad twin.

"Nice to meet you, Sheriff Hackett." She managed to say, extending her hand.

Travis contemplated not receiving the greeting, but something in the back of his brain screamed at him to move his hand. And so he did.

He couldn't remember the last time his cold skin had contact with such a warm place. The paleness of his hand was overshadowed by the girl's brown fingers. He couldn't help to notice how that caramel color shone with the reflection of the sun.

How could he not look at her? She literally glowed.

Speak, idiot.

"Likewise, miss... " He left the sentence in the air. He really didn't want to know anything about her, he knew he shouldn't, but curiosity got the better of him.

"Ramirez." Camila hurried to say. Suddenly didn't find the moment so terrible.

Travis understood in that moment. That's why he didn't recognize the accent. What a way to attract attention, it seemed like everything about that girl was trying to stand out. And she did it.

"Miss Ramirez." He pronounced, as best he could, the last name.

Camila couldn't help that giggle. Travis understood why, and even though he would have loved to smile back, like a normal human being, he did nothing but ignore her.

Travis broke contact with the girl. It was distracting him too much, and more important things than an attractive young woman were waiting for him at the police station.

"Have a good day."

Short, dry. As it should be.

Chris looked at Camila, almost telepathically apologizing.

Travis quickened the pace to his patrol car.

And as suddenly as he appeared, he left.

[purplekoop]

I have a passing fear as a creator who wants to do a variety of projects that I'll be boxed into expectations in the uncertain event I do make something of a hit. I more often think about this in regards to medium, like how I couldn't have the time or capacity to make games and do the non-game superhero project I also want to make. But that's for practical reasons, no people are saying I can't do that or whatever, it's just improbable I could get the skills and resources needed to do both.

But then what about when it's not genre or medium as the contrast but. "Intended audience maturity level", to put it one way. See my one big superhero comic/story/whatever is about a team of teenagers, which is a choice that was initially just a "yeah why not" decision based on me being in my late teens at the time of the idea's original conception, but has since become part of the narrative and its themes. There's a lot of great parts of the cast's stories that only work with the fact they're still kids. But then there's still a lot of things that I could want to explore, but can't because. Teenagers.

Now, getting a little more philosophical here, but I do believe strongly that making something "all ages" is far from a limiting factor on the appeal of a work. A recent popular example is Bluey, a show made for preschoolers that has a massive adult fanbase because the creators realized you can make a show that kids can watch and enjoy, and still make it entertaining for adults. There's a lot in the show that people traditionally wouldn't expect from any sort of kid's show, but it's not anything shocking, and instead highlights a lot that we assume young kids can't handle is actually fine to talk about. The unironic brilliance of Bluey is something people who are more dedicated fans of it than I have already gone in-depth about, but it's just one more dramatic example. To contrast, there's making a show explicitly mature can alienate an audience it otherwise would have. On the opposite end of popular animated shows from recent years is Invincible, which is a superhero show I've heard primarily great things about, but have no desire to watch because of its graphic gore. I don't wanna watch that! Gore freaks me out! And I know I don't have to watch that, because there's been several superhero shows in the past that have touched similar themes of corruption within superheroes that, because of the fact they aired on family-friendly channels, don't have that same issue of accessibility. But there's merits to Invincible and what it brings to the genre-wide conversation of superhero media that are essentially gated to people like myself who can't handle the gory elements. Not to say that gore isn't an artistic choice with merits on its own, it's certainly a hell of a way to show violent brutality, but it's one that comes at the cost of limiting the audience who can comfortably watch the show. Which, to put it in one way that sounds deranged out of context, makes Bluey the opposite of Invincible. I guess. Tangential, but most of what I say for Invincible's limited accessibility also applies to Mortal Kombat. I've been getting more into fighting games over the past few years, but against the other classics of the 90's like Street Fighter and King of Fighters, which have evolved since but have held true to their roots, Mortal Kombat's comical levels of gore feel dated. When fighting games are such a cool genre when you get to learn more and experiment with different characters and ideas from different sources, it feels so silly to saddle them to excessive levels of mutilating digital bodies that only get more gnarly detail with each entry, at no real benefit to the mechanics that make the game interesting. It's a cheap trick that worked on arcade-going preteen boys in the 90s, but now doesn't really help much to sell it to potential new fans. This is, again, in contrast with the other big names who've been around since then, and the many more games big and small that have popped up in the meantime, which have actively sought to make themselves more approachable to new and longtime fans for the better.

So, making something intended for wider audiences isn't necessarily limiting... but.

There are still a lot of things that a show's audience or subject matter can limit. Going back to my original project, having teenagers be the leads is part of the point, with the major theme of how it feels being "othered" and needing to keep some things secret growing up for your safety. But it also means it'd be inappropriate to feature or discuss anything sexual because... I mean they're kids, so that'd be. bad. Plus, I want the story to be something that people the age of the protagonists (along with anyone else, younger or older) to enjoy.

But what if I want to make a story with these more mature themes? Okay, I can make it another story and make it clear it's for a different audience than the first one. But. Can I actually do that? Functionally yes, if I could make one then I could almost certainly make the other. But then that has to grapple with the fact my name is on both the all-ages story *and* the story made for just adults. Does that make a weird expectation I'm only allowed to make one or the other. If I make a less serious first comic intended for adults, does that make people think I'm a creep for going into something "for kids" later on? What about the opposite, am I a creep for making something kid-friendly first and then leading on an impressionable young audience with horrible, inappropriate filth afterwards?

This probably is paranoia, but then I think about the small artists who have been harassed for having to do anything with anything sexual. I was gonna add some additional criteria to that but. No, you get massive flak for the most mundane things that would dare even graze past the Hayes code. You give them a reason to hold your work up to the chaste standards of mainstream family-friendly entertainment, and then it feels like asking for trouble. Then again my existence doesn't meet those standards so... not sure how much I can hope for.

I mean they let the creator of Stripperella cameo on Phineas and Ferb but maybe he did enough other stuff to let him get away with that. I think he's neat at least, for reasons unrelated to either of those shows.

anyways if I get around to that other superhero idea I'll let you guys know

[delumineight]

shipping one women with countless men is inherently misogynistic. and i’m not just talking about within the harry potter fandom, i’m talking across all fandom but of course i’ll be using hp as my focus point considering that’s what i’m most familiar with. specifically, hermione granger.

she had one (1) canonical boyfriend who she ended up marrying and having two kids with. MAYBE two if you count krum, but they say that they never really label it or anything so we’ll go with one, that being ron. there’s also cormac but she canonically only entertained him because she thought it’d make ron jealous.

of course i get fandom shipping (not specifically with ron and hermione considering they’re canonically soulmates) and wanting them both to be with other people, but in the terms of romione somehow hermione is always the one that people want with somebody else. ron is constantly put with somebody random just as an excuse to get him out of the way, or even worse, made abusive or a cheater which… boy i could go on about that one. but i digress (for now).

despite her canonically not have a s/o until ron she is relentlessly shipped with her oppressors such as lucius malfoy, draco malfoy, tom riddle/voldemort, scabior, and so so so many more. you shouldn’t need an explanation on why that is wrong. then, of course, your regular pro ships like her with sirius black, remus lupin, severus snape, etc. which is appalling that i feel the need to explain that even though she’s an adult by the end of the series (without 19YL) she met these men at 11, 13, and 14. and yes, it’s more than “fiction.��

the urge that people, and sadly specifically women, feel to ship her with these men that sound insane when you explain it in simple terms like “this is a muggle-born and someone who wants her dead” or “this is a man and girl that he met when she was a preteen” is rooted in misogyny in hatred for who hermione really is, a “not like other girls” archetype. and no, i don’t really like the archetype and the portrayal but it’s really and truly who she is. she’s a bookworm and her two best friends are boys, throughout the series she makes fun of more traditionally feminine girls (lavender, fleur).

and while it’s okay for women to do whatever they want, it’s harmful to not allow them to do so, in the case that hermione granger’s character and personality is changed simply for the sake of shipping. passing her around to multiple men, who she canonically hates, is destructive to her character and her stance on political issues as a woman during a war where she is a main target for oppression. it itself is oppressive.

when a woman’s personality is taken away, changed, obstructed, or anything else that takes away from what she really is for the sake of putting her with a man it is misogynistic. dampening a female character’s traits for the sake of putting her with a man is misogynistic. giving hermione granger the personality of a brick to ship her with a death eater is misogynistic. and no, don’t ship hermione with someone other than ron as a “gotcha” moment toward jkr. i’m sure she doesn’t give a shit what you think, ship people who make sense. not ones you think someone would dislike.

[stillinthatweirdfaze]

I usually don’t make posts like this bc sharing hobbies and interests on the internet makes me very very anxious for whatever reason but I really really wanna share this issue of the Dragon magazine I found at the thrift store yesterday!!!!!!!!

25th anniversary edition of the official D&D magazine !!!!! It is issue 284 and it came out in June 2001. Unfortunately it did not come with the advertised bonus CD rom when I bought it though :[

I’m gonna use this post to show off some of the stuff that’s in it that I really liked or found interestingggg :]

First off we have a full spread add for baulders gate 2, which is kinda funny considering the third one didn’t come out that long ago. I want to eat this ye oldie early 2000ds generic fantasy font I bet it tastes like burnt shortbread.

A little step by step on how the artist made the cover which I find like. Infinitely charming. Especially since this cover itself is so gorgeous. I hope Todd Lockwood is doing good today.

A full page add for an online anime fantasy rpg called Nexus the kingdom of the winds. OUGGGGEEEEE this art style,,,,,,, it takes me back to places it takes me back to like that one vampire anime and clanad and YouTube anime top tens. Fuck graphic design we should start putting sparkles and radial gradients on everything again.

an add for a series of sound effect cds for your games which I want so so bad I need to know what’s on these.

Two little sections where it seems people can submit photos and stories about themselves or their game members to be published. The Dm of the month one is genuinely heartwarming and cute. The thought of Steve seeing that he won made me smile. Also “Nubile dwarf chicks” and “chaotic secretive” is a great example of how early 2000nds out of pocket this issue can be sometimes. You can fucking smell the energy off the second image.

An extremely funny review of a previous dragon issue.

an add for Gen con 2001 and a schedule of upcoming conventions. If anyone went to these I would genuinely love to hear about them I love convention history a whole lot especially from around this time

A page in, apparently a series, about what ttrpg players value in a game written by Gary Gygax!!! If anyone has any previous or the final issues of this study please do share I really really wanna see them. Also the three genders: males, females, and newbies

Two stat blocks for some half dragon characters

A Draconic to English translation table that I wish I had as a preteen because I would have eaten it the fuck up. Also I cut it off but the last sentence on the bottom right is “please don’t disembowel the dwarf” which apparently is “martiver thric gixustratt tundar”

Add for a brand of miniatures and in what stores to find them. I wonder how many of these places are still open

An add for WOTZ game stores with the tagline “it’s where you play the game” and advertising “Hella Bandwith” and “scantily clad BABES.” I find it unreasonably funny that they are three pictures of the same exact woman, scantily clad babe, one (1), one singular babe.

Spell and magical item themed crossword

A full on campaign setting of the real city of London. I didn’t take pictures of all of it but it has a history section, locations, npcs, adventure hooks, and what even looks like a little blank dungeon layout of a mansion . I feel like putting real places as campaign settings has always been like, a thing, but I don’t see it too often. Its charming I like it.

A stat block and gorgeous illustration for a lesser dragon companion. The gradient circle in the back is my favorite argggg I wanna draw like this sometimes

A section on how to assemble your own monster models. Admittedly I know close to nothing about model making so this was an extremely fun read for me

A bunch of PC portraits of half dragons that are so so cool. You see a lot of stuff about people getting really specific designs about different hybrids like oh a dwarf tyfling looks different than an elf tyfling n that sort of stuff in the modern day but you don’t really see it canonized at all. So it’s really interesting to see that concept in an officially published D&D thing, even if it’s just a magazine. I really like the dwarf one a lot.

Possibly my favorite thing ever is this cartoon that reads like a fucking wizard tumblr shitpost. Like down to a fucking tea this is some shit the evil wizard blog would say and it makes me so so so happyyyyyyyyy. It’s the cadence that amazes me they got the tumblr wizard cadence exactly right. Im posting this shit on its own without shame bc I need people to see it. Pour me something whimsical and arcane bar wench.

A absolutely chefs kiss add for a ????? Pc????? Pc game????? Pc accessory??? I honestly can’t tell anyway enjoy your free ps2 polygonal hotted woman ass

And finally the thing that made me fuckin gasp out loud when I saw it, an add for the original year of our lord 2001 shitty D&D movie with special features and online sweepstakes to win a trip to Prague. Holy shit. God I love this game.

anyway that’s it, I plan to frame this thing and put it up somewhere. Ty for reading all my nerd shit. :,]

[skelevision]

heyyy 🎨 :-) i need to draw

polled my friends in the server too but i also wanna poll here.....

doodles for reference (some of these are really old) and some info on each under the cut........... (sorry if theyre underdeveloped or sound like a 16 yr old made them i have like 100-200 ocs and many of them Are from when i was a teen. not that my ocs are better now though LMAO)

auri: cloned pilot who relies heavily on the support system in his mech for emotional and mental stability (doesnt work). short description but i love this guy i could rant about him for hours (i wont, embarrassing)

calin: stole his mech (starstrider) and deserted in his teens. does whatever now trying to get by. he's uncomfortable outside of starstrider most of the time but when he's not stressed he doesn't mind being outside of it, so long as his harmonizer can still connect. he likes seeing new things. i gave him a big comfy coat thats as hot or cool as he needs it to be because thats my dream. he's in the magic world i have actually

EVE: lab grown pilot who is usually connected to giant genetically identical meat mech ADAM. therin isnt here but hes a biomechanic and hes trying to befriend EVE. i did make them A While Before i watched evangelion if anyones wondering

morgan/knife: idk these guys started as spiderverse ocs but then i remembered i dont rly care about spiderman. theyre on earth after an alien corpse drifted into orbit and the research trips to and from it brought all kinds of freaky diseases to earth and caused something like an apocalypse (altho it also kickstarted space travel). knife was a prototype soldier who escaped the lab in his preteens and met morgan on the road. theyve been travelling together for 8+ years idk knife pair-bonded with morgan so make of that wjhat you will

leo/jinx: work at private anomaly control company. that doodle is really bad. leo has a deal with a faustian anomaly for power and jinx (who i kinda wanna rename) basically just weakly shocks anything he touches. and they kiss. badly ‼️

nettle: (the doodle is from when these were ocs in the sims theyre like. a lot different now) host to parasitic anomalous plant. hes nervous all the time. adoptive brother of end and dating alora. his dad got a government job in the anomaly control sector after nettle was parasitized as a child and taken into govt custody

alora: shes very normal actually. supportive parents and loving household. no special abilities, joined wanting to help people, eventually becomes disillusioned to the reality of anomaly control, especially as a government agency

end: self-proclaimed demon of the void. can eradicate up to about 3 square feet of matter at a time. they dont get along well with people but hit it off with most animals immediately, except dogs. nettle's dad basically adopted them after they met

the homosword (other guy not pictured): ancient weapon with a kind of sentient computer in it (i really gotta redesign the sword i dont rly like it anymore). other dude is a type of human that can both endure very high temps and can get really hot with emotions (to the point of possibly burning to death when something like grief or rage is experienced), lives in what is essentially a country-sized junkyard pretty much constantly on fire with his nomadic people (avoiding the Great Firestorm). finds the sword and uhammmmmm ... adventure (and gay love.......)

daisy: anomalous humanoid creature. hes carnivorous and used by an organized crime group to dispose of bodies. not very well taken care of. he might end up as a side character but i like him a lot. older oc, new doodle so u can see him

[justagalwhowrites]

“Love” how you immediately dismissed that questioner. Like no YOU got your panties in a twist because you thirst off the idea of being younger and with a dinosaur of a man. Which no kink shaming. But don’t pussy foot around it. You ARE apart of the problem and DO have an effect on the world around you. Saying nuh uh doesn’t actually change the facts. Also hilarious how because YOU haven’t seen a tag like that then it couldn’t pooooossibly exist right? Seen many variations of that shit across the board. So many authors who demonize aging and quite literally mock older women in their writing. So hate to break it to you but your internalized misogyny is showing. And to be clear, I AM being condescending with that last sentence. Because for a woman supposedly in your thirties you sure are acting like a preteen here. AUTHORS ARE NOT INFALLIBLE. And readers are totally allowed to call someone out for being a fucking weirdo with their writing and romanticizing predatory behavior. So yeah YOU ARE being exactly like predatory men who do that shit in real life. Thanks for promoting horrific behavior and then throwing a tantrum when people say something about it. Also, OP wasn’t rude nor condescending. It just hit a nerve because you fit the mark. Cry about it some more or actually get help.

Hi!

I... don't think you've read anything I've written lol which is fine! You don't need to! I just generally write Joel with a peer because that's what I enjoy. I also understand that a lot of people enjoy other things, which is fine! People don't need to enjoy what I enjoy or read what I wrote. I never said that tag doesn't exist, I'm sure it does, and I - like Max said as well - certainly don't agree with demonizing aging. But the post that Max reblogged from jumped on a younger reader story and said that creator sounded like a predator. I know there are a lot of people who, for whatever reason, really enjoy writing and reading stories with younger readers. I don't think that's the same as being a predator. I don't think I'm throwing a tantrum and, given that my two longest fics star middle-aged women, I certainly didn't take what anyone said as directed toward me. I just don't like seeing people who decided to be vulnerable and share something they created that a lot of people also enjoy compared to something predatory.

I think there's plenty of room in fandom to have conversations about sexism and ageism and racism and any number of societal ills. I just don't think we should center that conversation on fan-made content. I think we should strive to be kinder toward other fans (which, again, Max also said comments about aging like OP mentioned are absolutely shitty) and treat creators like community members, not like the conglomerates who actually profit off this stuff.

[waywardstraysau]

Stalker

By Mod Nightmare

Part 1

DT acquires two devoted “followers” that fight each other for his approval through the age old pastime of stalking. 

He refuses to call them his kids, but they are, in fact, his kids. 

…….

The evening air was crisp and fresh, a very nice change from home, no matter which one I referred to. The sun was just beginning to set, and the shadows were already stretching out to swallow up whatever they could reach.

This made traversing the long corridors of the school a much simpler affair. No need to look out to pick and choose what shadow to flit to, I could stay submersed in the comforting darkness and travel wherever I wished, as quickly as I wished, with no need to stop.

Yet, I stopped frequently.

After all, when people thought they were alone, you could learn some pretty juicy information just from observing them, or listening in on hushed conversations over their shoulders, with nobody the wiser about your presence. I knew a lot more about the goings on of the student body than people gave me credit for, but out of respect, most of the things I learned, I kept to myself.

Unless it was something hilarious, like Cunningham getting his scarf caught on a ceiling light playing Spider-Man, then getting stuck in an awkward position for thirty minutes trying to free himself. But hey, when you play stupid games and win the dumbass medal instead of a Darwin Award, somebody’s gonna talk about it.

The genuine laughter I got out of Jack from the story made telling it all the sweeter.

That evening, however, I happened upon a rather interesting find in the form of a bespectacled kid with large glasses and a trench coat, talking about… me, or at least the concepts of alternate timelines I brought with me. The boy was younger than I was, maybe in his early preteens, walking with an even younger girl who didn’t seem to be listening to his infodump, too wrapped up in her gaming system.

Siblings, if I had to guess, otherwise I didn’t think the creepy girl would be seen anywhere near the older boy.

“Seriously, this could change everything we know about the universe as a whole, Gaz! Just, consider it! How many timelines are out there? What produces them?” he blabbed, scribbling in a notebook that was clearly a work in progress, but had some interesting tidbits from what I could read over his shoulder. “I wish I knew about this discovery sooner! If only my request to be put in older kids group hadn’t been denied, I would’ve been one of the first to know!” 

“What would that have accomplished? Last time I checked, you didn’t even know that a witch even attended this school until, like, today,” the creepy girl, Gaz?, hissed, rather coldly, and I found myself wrinkling my nose in sheer distain. The utter hostility in her tone did not improve my impression of her. “Then you scared him off with your questions, so I DOUBT any other version of him would give you the time of day”

“… at least you listened to me this time,” the boy responded, looking visibly beaten down as he put his pencil into his book, tucking it in his little trench coat, “And, as always, you’re probably right, the rush job on my interrogation probably squandered any chances I had of performing my own investigation”

“Thank the stars for that, you become insufferable when you fixate on the paranormal,” the girl scoffed, turning off into another corridor, still wrapped up in her game. 

The boy did not follow. If “Gaz” noticed, she didn’t seem to care, walking out of sight without any further commentary. 

The hallway fell silent after a few moments, the sounds of the girl’s game having faded into nothing. The boy simply sighed and scuffed his boot against the ground, looking downtrodden, if not crushed by the other’s words. 

“Geez, that girl has issues,” I hummed casually, startling the shit out of the kid as I stepped into the corridor proper, ruffling his rather oddly styled hair, “Should’ve sought me out first, kid, I would’ve gladly answered some questions if I had time.”

The boy stared up at me wide eyed when I withdrew my hand, taking in my appearance. 

“You- you’re-“

“The alternate timeline Hunter you were just talking about, yes,” I hummed, drawing a circle in the air. The boy flinched as his notebook flew out of his pocket and hovered in front of me, snapping open so I could leaf through it a bit. “You’ve got some nice notes here, better than any so-called “professional” I’ve run across. Well, except Ford, but that guy has like thirty years of experience on you.”

“Ford let you see his notes?!” the boy asked excitedly, ignoring my compliment and making no move to get his journal back. 

“Well, no, I tend to read over his shoulder a lot when I can,” I hummed, raising my eyebrow at a sketch of what looked to be a rather gory vivisection of a small green figure, who was screaming in pain. I chose to ignore it as I turned over to the next page, where there was a diagram of a little blue robot in some kind of green animal costume, which I turned around to show the younger boy. “What’s this supposed to be? I haven’t seen anything like it here”

“…. Do you want a short explanation or do you have time for a long story?” the kid asked, tilting his head. I chuckled, letting him take the book back before I sat down against the wall next to him.

“I got nowhere to be”

…………

Zim had a follower.

The invader was unsure when it had started, but recently, an oddly colored earth beast had started tailing him. It didn’t matter where he decided to go, if he felt he was being watched, he simply had to turn around, and there it was.

Staring.

It had become so unnerving, he’d started threatening the beast with whatever weaponry he had on hand.

Yet it seemed unfazed. Disinterested. As if the might of Irken military grade weaponry was no threat to it.

Not even when it was actively being shot at. The creature would just seem to vanish, only to show up later and resume its staring.

Zim could swear it looked amused in those instances.

As if he was being toyed with.

Played for a fool.

At this point, the invader was becoming truly unnerved. Especially since the creature had started infiltrating buildings, showing up in different rooms around Skool, just out of reach for any curious or fascinated children who might wish to touch it, calling it “cute” and “fluffy”.

Disgusting.

The situation came to a head when Zim walked into his underground base to find the creature had broken in and was now sitting on his computers dashboard. 

“HOW?!” the Irken screeched, spreading his palms out towards the creature that continued to stare him down, unfazed by his yelling. Disturbed, and a bit freaked out by the set of magenta eyes gleaming in the dim light, the Irken whirled around and screamed to the ceiling. “COMPUTER! How did that beast get in here!? Who gave it access!?”

“Access was not granted, the creature showed up approximately two earth hours ago with no discernible point of entry,” Zim’s occasionally snarky AI replied, which did not alleviate the his discomfort in the slightest, “It proceeded to wander around the base in your absence, and any measures taken to remove or incinerate the intruder proved futile”

Zim swore in his most natural language, whirling back around and stomping over to the dashboard, slamming his hands down on the flat surface and meeting the creatures gaze head on. 

“I bet you play me as a fool in your simple little mind, don’t you?” he hissed, baring his teeth at the stoic creature, “Computer, run a deep scan on this thing, I want to know about everything you find”

The invader held eye contact while the scan processed, not even daring to blink, knowing that if he did, the little menace would take the opportunity to disappear on him again before he could get answers.  The beast did not speak, but he knew it had to be hiding something, as no earth creature aside from the Dib came close to breaking into his base, yet the little monster had managed to do what no other could. 

“Scan Complete. Species Designation: Unknown. Appears to not be of biological origin,” the AI finally spoke up, and with the announcement, the creature diverted its gaze away from the Irken, appearing almost… startled. 

The invader took the opportunity to attempt to grab at the creature, to be rid of it for good, but just as his claws made contact with its fur, it jumped back with an angry hiss, clawing at his hands and managing to nick the skin. The Irken hissed and withdrew from his attempt to grab the beast, cradling his bleeding hand. 

“Filthy animal” he growled, ordering a limb on his PAK to hand him a weapon, but before he could draw it out, the now infuriated beast snarled and vanished, its final cry echoing around the cavernous lair. 

Zim was finally alone, a relief he didn’t know he needed. With a deep sigh, he let himself relax for the first time in days, sinking into the chair that came up behind him. 

“Sir, there is one other thing,” his AI spoke up, shattering the silence, much to Zim’s annoyance. 

“I swear by the Tallest-“ 

“There were traces of DNA from multiple humans in the creature’s fur, four have brought back hits from Earths various medical and criminal databases,” the computer continued, unperturbed by his masters annoyance, and Zim sat up with interest as the files were pulled up on screen, “Qi Xiaotion, an underage Chinese citizen who went missing fourteen years ago, pronounced dead twelve years ago. Jackson Spicer, underage dual citizen of both China and America, went missing six months ago, has a criminal record involving multiple counts of vandalism. Luz Noceda, underage American Citizen, no further information, and finally-“

…………..

Dib was having a rather good time as of late.  

The young paranormal investigator never really had anyone in his life who actually wanted him to talk about his interests, not counting the school therapist, Sasha. Usually, everyone just wanted him to be quiet, finding his mere presence a nuisance, even if they never actually voiced that. 

So when the shadow-y Hunter popped up that one day a few weeks before, interested in him and his research journal, he’d ended up spending hours telling stories of his hometown. From his fights with Zim, the alien hellbent on conquering earth despite his increasingly obvious incompetence, to the sad tale of chickenfoot, the man trapped in a mascot costume for decades. It went on so long, the sun had gone down, yet the older boy hadn’t seemed to mind.

Since then, Hunter would show up almost daily to talk with him, sometimes disguised as another student or an animal. Whether it be the paranormal or just how Dib’s day was going, he was always friendly and willing to listen. Hunter even asked his own questions about Dib’s life and research entries if he didn’t feel like he had anything interesting to say. If that didn’t produce any meaningful conversation, he’d turn into a small animal and demand Dib set up an obstacle course for him in the pillow fort room to run, as a kind of game

That day was one of those occasions, the teenager had taken the form of a particularly fluffy cat, the same shades of purple that his hair was, with a little flame-like pattern at the end of its tail. Hunter had built himself up a rather impressive tower of pillows using nothing but his paws, playing a game of trying to trick Dib into giving away what could be expected from the course from upon his perch. Dib, in turn, had to answer every question posed to him, without giving away anything about what his construction would entail. 

In DT’s opinion, it was a genius way to teach others how to keep their information to themselves in an interrogative scenario. He’d played a similar game with his own King, before…

Nope. 

Still a raw wound of loss there. He wasn’t dumb enough to prod at something so fresh. 

“You know, I think you’re the only guy who’s actually listened to me when I talked about Zim being an alien,” Deb mentioned, bringing the teen witch back to reality. He flicked an ear as the young boy kept talking, sounding a little defeated. “People just thought I was crazy-“

“Are you shi- kidding me!?” Hunter interrupted, jumping up with a hiss and causing Dib to knock over part of the course in surprise. The witch had never shown such raw emotion, it really caught the young investigator off guard as he turned to stare at the cat, who was fluffed up with an angry tail twitch. “¿Tenían la cabeza en el culo?! I saw ONE picture and even I could tell that kid wasn’t REMOTELY human!”

“Well, I’ve always suspected-“

Dib did not get to finish whatever he was about to say. 

In an instant, a flurry of green had busted through a wall, grabbing Dib by the collar of his shirt as it rose up on spindly metal legs, snarling with the fury of the scorned. 

“I KNEW YOU HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THAT BEAST!” Zim shrieked, having somehow broken into the school without anyone catching him, shaking the bespectacled boy like a ragdoll, “Your little pet has been harassing me for WEEKS, you insufferable WORM!”

“What are you- I don’t have a pet!” Dib shouted back, squirming as a gun came out of the PAK, aimed directly at the center of his forehead. 

“YOU LIE!” the Irken screeched, charging his weapon up to fire-

Then was promptly choke slammed into the opposing wall, forcing the invader to drop Dib before his skull slammed against the plaster, leaving a sizable dent that left him out cold. 

The invader fell limply to the floor as Hunter released his head, staring at his unmoving form with distain. 

“How did he even find me?” Dib finally spoke up after a few moments, unnervingly quiet. 

“I broke into his base,” Hunter admitted, lightly kicking at the limp body to check for consciousness, “Little shit probably put a tracker on me or something before I left”

“Why were you-“

“I was trying to make him think he was losing his mind, or have others think he was crazy,” Hunter admitted, grabbing the invader by the PAK and lifting him up in the air, his whole body still limp, “A kind of mental torture, I was pretty pissed when you told me about the “Organ Harvest” incident at your school, figured he deserved some consequences for it”

“Why didn’t you just kill him, then?” Dib questioned, tilting his head as Hunter slung the invader over his shoulder, stepping over some pillows that had been strewn about, heading for the door. “Hunter?”

The young witch had stopped at the door, quiet for a few moments, before turning his head to speak to Dib again. 

“… You have a lot to learn about the world, Dib. Be glad you’ve been able to see everything in black and white for this long,” he finally replied, magenta eyes downcast and… almost sad.  “Tell Stanford that Zim broke in, I’ll be in Jack’s lab.”

With that, Hunter vanished, leaving the young investigator in solitary quiet.

[treveonwest]

(PowerRuff part 16 {welcome to the new school year Part 1}

Okay so you can see the Powerpuff girls clearly aren't preteens anymore so now they have to go to high school let's see how this day goes and in this high school they have school uniforms booo and I have changed up the way people look quite a bit like bubbles as a whole different face but she's still very cute

Bubbles💙) OMG im so excited for the new school year I mean yeah I'm going to miss Miss Keane but I'm still really excited _______________________ Buttercup💚) yeah and I'm glad they let you pick the uniform you wanna wear cuz I was not about to wear a skirt

Blossom🌸) hey professor I'm so not trying to sound rude but why did you come with us _____________________ Professor😁) well you can kind of say im being a bit overprotective I just want to make sure your school is suitable enough _______________ Blossom🌸) well we better go inside I do not want to be late on my first day

Buttercup💚) Hey there are some dorks coming this way

Boomer😜) hey baby doll you ready for the new school year ___________________ Bubbles💙) yes I am BoomieBear

Brick🤬) hey not everybody is used to you guys dating easy on the PDA ________________ Boomer😜) whatever I wasn't talking to you anyways

Butch🦴) oh my God I can't wait to see how many people I can prank ________________ Buttercup💚) right we're probably going to pull the best pranks

Blossom🌸) okay it seems like majority of us are here how come I haven't seen morebucks and the punkgirls yet

Princess👑) okay girls I've been trying to get my mouth shut as long as I can but you guys do know you're wearing your everyday clothes you're not in the school uniform you know that right ________________________ Berserk🔥) your not exactly wearing the school uniform either ________________ Brat🍑) right how are you going to tell us to wear it when you're not wearing it __________ Brute💋) yeah and I don't think it's really that big of a deal and you look really cute in what you're wearing

Princess👑) I know but I'm wearing something cuter than the school uniform I've seen what it looks like I am not wearing plaid ___________________ Berserk🔥) well whatever let's just go to school

Blossom🌸 all right what's going on here why aren't you guys wearing school uniforms ______________________ Berserk🔥) oh come on blossom it's not that big of a deal _______________ Brute💋) yeah calm down you don't have to be such an electric slide rule all the time

_____________

Blossom🌸) nope I am not standing for this I think you guys forgot that we have magic

Berserk🔥) you've got to be kidding ____________________ Blossom🌸) just be glad I altered them a little bit we get to wear any accessories we want

________________ Brat🍑) yeah it's actually kind of cute

__________ Blossom🌸) whatever let's just get into school please!!

Blossom🌸) no way Miss Keane what are you doing here _______________________ MissKeane🌼) well I was kind of getting tired of working with little kids and I missed you girls a lot so I decided to sign up for a job as a high school teacher

_________________ Brute💋) yay it's the teacher actually like

_____________ Buttercup💚) Titties!!!

Professor😁) hi Miss Keane long time no see ___________________ MissKeane🌼) Blushes yeah you're looking nice today

Bubbles💙) no way Isabella!!! Your here too _________________ Isabella☺) yeah I know this place is for teenagers but my mom works here and she brought me along since she can't find a babysitter and I'm learning a lot

*In class*

MissKeane🌼) okay class I actually have a very exciting announcement to start off the new school year we are going to have a talent show that sounds exciting doesn't it

Boomer😜) butch this sounds so cool ________________________ Butch) right!!!! I'm so excited I wanna wag my tail

_________________ Brat🍑) you don't even have a tail!

Buttercup) bubbles I am so going to show off my singing voice

___________________ 

Bubbles) I was thinking about doing the same thing

MissKeane🌼) now I expect a lot of you to sing since a lot of you have good singing voices and that's completely fine

All right stay tuned for part two it's going to be awesome and I did not like the way blossom looked like the Sim and I'm a bit of a perfectionist so I want my babies to look perfect so if blossom looks different in the next part don't be surprised

[auncyen]

(I added Bonnie into the draft in a slightly earlier paragraph lol have surprise preteen)

"We're having the feelings talk now, right?" Bonnie asks, finally breaking their stare to look around the table at the others.

"Weeeell, we don't have to get into it right away!" Isa says, looking between you and Bonnie.

"But we will get into it," Mirabelle says. Odile nods.

"...Yeah, we should. But first!" Isabeau says, and you hope whatever he has to say takes a half hour, never mind that he's never been longwinded. "Um. It's a little embarrassing, but yesterday made me realize I just need to go ahead and ask! ...Would anyone like to keep traveling together after we get Bonbon to their sister?"

...!

Oh!

OH!!! This isn't bad at all! It's wonderful!

You nod as soon as you recover from the happy surprise. More time with Isa is something you'd never turn down.

"That sounds great, Isabeau!" Mira says, smiling. "I'd love to!"

"I'd like that as well," Odile says.

"Yeah!" Bonnie's arms fly up into the air. "ROAD TRIP!!"

There's a pause. "Bonbon, I do want you to come with if it's okay with your sister!" Isa says, raising his hands. "But if it's not, well..."

"If it's not, then it becomes something called 'kidnapping'," Odile says, setting her book aside to look at Bonnie.

They hmph, folding their arms. "That won't be a problem at all! Nille's always wanted to travel, so she'll definitely say yes!"

"We'll have to ask!" Mira says cheerfully. "Where were you thinking of going, Isabeau?"

Isa shrugs. "Just, around! There are a few places that might be cool to see, but I don't have a particular destination in mind. As long as I send messages for my family, I don't have to go back to Jouvente. Not right away, anyway. So I'd like to spend more time with you all!"

"We'll discuss the itinerary of our new journey as we go, I suppose," Odile says. Next to her, Bonnie mumbles 'eye-tinry', testing the word out. "Itinerary, Boniface. Five syllables. I have to return to Ka Bue at some point, but when I return is...very flexible." She looks at you.

Everyone is looking at you again?? No, okay, Bonnie is looking down and muttering about five syllables being too many, but all the adults are looking at you. "I'm a traveler??? I don't mind how long we might travel for." You want it to be forever. "Traveling is in my blood!"

Odile gives the softest sigh, and Mirabelle's fingers fidget with each other. ...Have you made that joke before? You might've made that joke before.

"Since this is a feelings talk, maybe I should talk about how I feel," Mirabelle says, which, sure! You're happy to hear Mira out, so you give her your full attention. She has a somber expression as she gazes back at you. "And...I feel kind of guilty? I feel like I've misjudged you a lot, Siffrin, and maybe didn't pay enough attention to you and your feelings."

What. "You don't have to pay me attention, though?"

Your careless response sparks a dazzling constellation of unhappy faces. Isabeau's eyebrows hitch up while Odile narrows her eyes. Mirabelle's face is painted with wide-eyed dismay while Bonnie's screws up like you're more baffling than 'itinerary'. Everyone's frowning.

Wrong thing to say, dummy! You made it sound like Mira's callous and you just didn't mind! That's not it!! You're just happy to stay on the side of the stage, behind the curtain. You don't like having all eyes on you.

(Then people notice what's wrong.)

"I mean!! It's understandable if you didn't?? You were saving your country!" You scramble to salvage the situation.

"Well...okay, even if I agreed with that reasoning, which I don't," Mirabelle says, "Vaugarde's saved now, so I can pay more attention to my friends."

Oh! Mira thinks of you as a friend! You smile.

Mira smiles too, but it's a little sad. "Siffrin, when we were talking about what we'd do after the King, you...you didn't give me a very serious answer. And I thought maybe you were poking fun at me wanting to go on a pilgrimage and Change."

You wince. You're bad at talking to Mira, aren't you?

"But then you were crying at the party--crying because you thought we were splitting up soon--and I realized maybe you'd joked because...because it hurt to consider seriously?" Her eyes have you pinned with their earnestness. "Siffrin, you're my friend, and you've done so much for me and everyone, and I don't even know if you're traveling because you want to or--or if you have to? And that's very worrying."

"You wanted to know my plans for the future, too," Odile speaks up. "And you didn't have a serious answer for me either."

"Yeah!" Bonnie yells. "What was up with that?"

You duck your head down, wishing you weren't having this talk so early. You've only been in the clocktower, so you don't have your cloak or hat on, and you feel very exposed right now.

"...Sif, it's okay," Isabeau says. "You wanted to keep traveling with us and didn't know how to ask, right? We're all guilty on that one."

"Not me," Bonnie says smugly, getting a wry smile from Odile and a more sheepish one from Mirabelle.

"Not Bonbon," Isabeau concedes. "So it's good they helped us figure out we want to travel together longer. But...we probably will stop traveling, one day."

"I won't cry," you say quickly. "Next time."

"You can! I probably will," Isa replies. "Because even if we stop traveling together, we're like a family, you know?"

A...family? Your heart flutters at the thought--and then it drops.

Because Isa's wrong. He's assuming way too much. Bonnie already has their family, and maybe you're friends with Mirabelle but you're so bad at talking with her she can't possibly consider you family, and Odile's... already made it clear how she feels.

"No? You don't agree?" Isa asks, reading your expression. Stars, you wish you had your hat right now. You want him to be right! You want it to be true! But...

"We're not even all friends," you mutter, and he looks surprised--did he forget?? You're supposed to be the forgetful one! "Don't you remember? Odile said we weren't friends, we're allies at best!"

Odile looks more surprised than you expected when you glance at her--she even looks confused. Did she forget too???

And then, with a flash of surprise, her expression switches to annoyance and aggravation. "Siffrin, I was joking."

"...Oh." This time you want to slide under the table and never emerge.

-

I HAVE NOT MANAGED TO MAKE THIS TALK GO THE WAY I WANTED IT TO AT ALL I keep planning for Odile and/or Isabeau to guess at Siffrin being from INOV (because I think the events of this story give them JUST enough setup to figure it out--Siffrin recounting the only story they've ever told of their home to then have their worst memory lapse ever, them talking about the island's disappearance in the library, Euphrasie hinting about a Craft that two people who like studying and know a good bit about Craft have NEVER heard of and yet Siffrin knows without actually knowing, what's up with that, Siffrin having a crying jag that makes the adults worried if he has a home to go back to--I think there's just enough setup for both of them to be like 'where is he FROM, why can't I think of even a possible place.....................oh. oh no') but. idk it's not going that way so far.

You wake up, still feeling the aches and sores of yesterday. You fought the King yesterday, you remember. You won, you remember. The House was so animated, the party so lively, everyone so effusive with their thanks that it was rather overwhelming.

Your friends are staying together, you remember--

No, wait. Your allies. And you have to have a feelings talk because of your outburst.

...But, well, that's fine, you decide after getting changed back into your dayclothes and cloak, smoothing the fabric down with your hand.

Stars, you must have been really tired last night. You were dreading this feelings talk so much, but it's like Isabeau said! Not a big deal at all!

You just have to reassure them that this was a one-off. You were very tired from going through the House and fighting the King. That could be a good excuse. ...No, it's not. Bonnie's a child and even they didn't come close to having a meltdown like that.

Maybe...you could tell them the truth. You want to stay with them. You got scared of having to be alone again so abruptly.

You can see Odile frowning in your mind's eye. You're being unreasonable, she says. We can't spend our entire lives traveling together; we're going to separate someday. Are you going to pitch a fit then, too?

No, no, of course not. You lo--you like your allies a normal amount, and you'll be fine on your own because you always were before so it's stupid to be scared of that, and you have got to think of a better excuse for your behavior yesterday. You hope you can put off this feelings talk as long as possible.

Unfortunately, how it actually pans out is that Bonnie lays out a yummy breakfast that's both leftovers they got to take home from the party, some of the bread soaked in egg custard for delicious pain perdu, and fresh fruit. You let yourself eat quite a bit, though your appetite seems to have calmed down a bit from a day and a half ago, when your big appetite grew ravenous enough to surprise Odile all over again. You were pretty hungry all through the House too, actually. Probably nerves from getting ready to face the King? And you were working hard. Today, even though you're not eating quite as much, the filling breakfast makes it tempting to go back to sleep. You don't, but you're not really thinking much at all, just a lump in your chair, when you suddenly register Isa sitting back down at the table and looking right at you. He smiles when he realizes you're paying attention, but there's also a seriousness in his face, some nervous energy to his smile. Odile has her face in her book, but you catch her glancing at you. Mirabelle looks determined.

...You're having the feelings talk now, aren't you?

[dyzziiii]

BIG and HUGE venting under the cut ignore if u know me irl pls lol. ill die of embarassment otherwise. thank u.

it gets harder and harder and harder to ignore that its beyond time for me to just stop trying to have a connection with my parents and that they will never be anything like the people i want them to be so much.

i don't know why my brain won't just grasp that this isn't fixable and they won't magically love me the way i want them to love me. they've had 30 years to try and I've run out of things to offer them as payment.

i go back and forth on this rollercoaster of grieving for them even though they're still alive, and then being hurt by them because i can't unpin my self esteem from how they treat me or ignore me.

deep down, it just feels so fucking hollow and soul-shattering to realize that the only people who were supposed to love me unconditionally never really got that attached to me. I'm a prop on their life journeys towards whatever fucked up selfish end they're after. When it came down to it, they both chose themselves over me.

My dad has all these stories he loves to get credit for about being a young, single dad working so hard just to take care of adorable, precious me, and how he would sometimes put back some non-essential groceries so I could get a comic book at the checkout line, and how he once made me a whole toddler-sized furniture set out of hand-me-downs and cardboard boxes because i wanted to live with him even though he didn't have a proper bedroom for me yet, and its like, yeah, I thought he was great too, but then everything changed when i was a preteen and teen and he let his new wife berate me nearly daily until my self-esteem was so low i wanted to die.

When I moved out at 16 because i was missing so much school from being stress sick all the time, I begged him to make it safe for me to come home, thinking that finally (after years of watching me break down at her emotional abuse) he would take me seriously-- or miss me, or want me around-- and then... he didn't. He never really tried. I never went home.

I ask myself some questions a lot that I'm terrified to get answers to:

How long before he stopped looking for me? When did things no longer seem out of place without me in his life? How many trips to the store before he stopped buying the snacks I liked? When was the first time he set the table and didn't have the urge to grab a third fork and knife? How many days before I wasn't an hourly thought? Daily? Weekly? i'm terrified it's a low number. Something in me knows it is.

He once told me (on accident) that things got easier after I moved out. He tried to walk it back but I already heard it and it wasn't a surprise.

Those classic cartoon episodes where someone does the "I wish I was never born!" thing and then they see that all their loved ones are miserable without them??? stupid.

And my mom, too! I gave up so much to take care of my mom as a kid. From age 7 onwards, I was her primary caretaker.

I knew all her medications by heart and went to nearly every blood draw, doctor's appointment, and ER visit. She'd tell people I was her angel. I was so proud to be that for her. She said she survived all the times doctors told us she'd die because she wanted to live to see her kids grow up. Sounds like such a sweet story.

I put hundreds of hours into gameboy games because I spent so much time doing nothing, by her side. Because she wanted me there, like how old people want a lap dog.

I thought she needed someone to do everything for and with her-- get her drinks, make her food, raise her son (6 yrs younger than me), be her therapist, give her demerol shots, entertain her addict friends, babysit their children, hang around disgusting houses full of terrifying men while she disappeared into back rooms to get just a little extra xanax to get her through the week, sang loud songs with my brother in the bathroom with the door locked so he might not hear my stepdad threatening to murder us again, clean the rat-infested house covered in dog shit and nicotine stains, stayed kind while she let most of our pets die horribly or decided she would rather sell them when we weren't home, held frozen food to her head while she had a seizure because we didn't have any ice, promised not to call 911 or else CPS would take my baby brother away forever, snuck out to the strawberry fields to steal enough to eat, accompanied her to graveyard shifts at the gas station and ran the registers so she could take hour-long smoke breaks, slept on a dirty, cigarette-burned mattress from the 80s that had old period stains from stepdad's older sister, carried our 1 lightbulb room to room when we had power, or unplugged the fridge so we could run the microwave when we didnt have power (for months at a time) and just had 1 small powerstrip running from the neighbor's house, staying up all night to herd her away from the toaster she kept jamming a knife into, locking her in her room by sitting up against the door all night and holding strong when she threw her broken body at it, gently bringing her out of her medication-twilight where she thought she was still in high school with her whole life ahead of her and having to watch her come to terms with being a permanently disabled ex-teen-mother living in severe poverty and domestic abuse and being an addict all over again and grieving her life together while she cries, dressing her when she'd wander the house high and naked... you know, normal sick-mom-caretaker-daughter stuff you do until you beg your dad to come get you one day at 4AM when you're 12 years old and ready to break, after which you swear to yourself you'll never stay there after dark ever again, and the decision haunts you because you wanted to be stronger for your baby brother but you know if you stay, you'll never pass 7th grade.

And then eventually, in my late 20s, she disowned me and my brother for (more or less) saving her life for the dozenth time. She doesn't even remember doing it because she was so gone, but for the first time since I was 12, I made her feel the impact of her choices and stopped seeing her in real life beyond the barest minimum. I stopped calling and only answered when I felt strong enough to keep her at arm's length. My brother moved away for a while.

I waited for her to miss me.... and to need me. She needed me, right? That's why I suffered so much for her. She needed me. I was her hero and she couldn't live without me, right?

Wrong. She never needed me. She just... moved on. Life went on. She apologized but hasn't tried to change anything about her lifestyle in the slightest. She won't manage her health. She won't stop seeing the people who give her the things that ruin her. All the things I thought I had to do to protect her and keep her alive were just conveniences for her. She quickly found other people to do those things for her. Someone else hears about her problems now. Someone else pays for her to stay in trashy motels to hide from her husband when he picks up the meth habit again or has a mental episode and turns scary. Someone else rides in the ambulance with her and lists off all her medications by heart.

A few years ago my stepdad called out of the blue and told me my mom was on a ton of xanax and pain pills and just kept begging him to go outside and yell for me. She thought I was a little kid, out playing in the yard, and she wanted me to come inside and sit with her because it was getting dark out. He wanted me to talk to her and tell her I was okay and I'd be home soon, so she would calm down and go to sleep, because she hadn't slept in days. She was crying so hard, scared for the little girl version of me who loved her and wasn't coming home. She needed me again. I wasn't there.

It's so fucking haunting. I'm still so angry he called me, and I replay it all the time in my head. She loved me (in a selfish, broken way) really deeply, but when it came down to it, she would rather have her addictions than me.

Sometimes it's like I have to mourn for the sweeter, softer versions of myself who died when I left these places. It's like I'm looking for them, too.

I should hate my parents but I miss them so fucking much.

But not really the them I've known, but just the them I thought they were, or that I made up in my head as a kid, maybe? The little snapshots of them when times weren't so bad all mashed together into what I wanted them to be? I don't know.

I want some better, kinder, less selfish version of them to love me and be proud of me and I want to feel whole in the way people can when their parents love and are proud of them.

its so STUPID. I shouldn't care. I'm an adult. I hate that I care!

Am i going to be like them? Forever locked into some selfish stupid pursuit of what I think my ideal life should be? Dad wanted a "normal" household with a wife and kid and dog and white picket fence and he got that in my stepmom and the baby they had when I was 15. Mom wanted to escape her chronic pain and live like the teenager she didn't get to finish being, and here she is, partying away her 50s in the most destructive way she can.

Is my version of that being a kid again and feeling safe and loved and creative? That's even worse, honestly. I want to grow up.

i gotta stop because ive been spiraling really bad yikes yikes.

shout out to my dad for deciding to visit and critique every aspect of my life, and my mom for sadtexting me how she misses me while actively ignoring my calls because she can't stay sober for logner than a few days at a time

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep 39 Part 2: Baby Pharaoh

My memory is something like tossed coleslaw at the moment with my on-and-off again long covid fatigue, but I’m pretty sure last we left off, Yugi and co were looking for Pharaoh, who as I’ve mentioned several times now, has fallen down a hole and can’t get up.

Alongside the Nile they have stumbled into Mana (man I hope that’s her name, it’s been so long since I’ve done a regular update, if her name is like Arkansas or whatever, I will not know, that’s just where we are. Bro who fact checks and spell check’s this blog was like “I dunno, sounds right? I’m not looking it up.”)

Whatever her name is, Mana is living her best life on this background that is askew just enough to cause me pain.

That horizon is killing me. I don’t recall exactly, but I’m pretty sure the bg was not supposed to be at an angle. Ugh, suffering.

(read more under the cut, assuming that tumblr still uses cuts? Pretty sure it auto-shortens my posts but I’ll still put cuts in for legacy users)

Anyway, this girl is a card as well as a magical person, so unlike all the other NPCs in Egypt, she gets the opportunity to set her eyes on 20th century people and be like “wtf are you assholes wearing?”

Rather than convince Mana that Yugi is the Pharaoh and see where this plot line goes, Joey says, “Isn’t that Pharaohs’ royal purple cloak like right over there? This cloak that probably costs in today’s money like 5 billion dollars because he’s a literal Pharaoh and wears an entire dowry on his ear lobes?” and Mana is like--”Oh shoot. Weird I did not notice that when I was so fixated on the fish.”

And so Mana has decided to join Yugi and Co because she is very much just here for the ride and also any information on how to run into her kind of sort of whatever the hell relationship is between her and Pharaoh. This makes sense to me, honestly, this was how I navigated all of college. You end up at a lot of weird parties doing this, but you’d be surprised how many people will ask you to just join their crew if you happen to be walking the same direction and know one person in common.

Bro came up with that pun and he’s extremely proud of it.

Again, rip the horse from last episode, at some point an alligator must’ve gotten to him (or the fall made him explode into little pieces, don’t worry about it). But we find Pharaoh in this cave, just out of sight of anyone who would actually be able to spot him.

Perhaps he’s doing this to stay out of the heat, but it’s also very likely that he’s just very embarrassed for that huge L he took falling down that hole and would like to just vibe out in a cave for a bit and contemplate his earliest memories.

To go from the man who remembers nothing to remembering yourself as a baby who gets his ass wiped 7 times a day.

Memory is freakin wild to Pharaoh.

I know this is a lot of caps of Pharaoh as a baby but that is a WEIRD ASS BABY. Also kinda cute but the baby is WEIRD.

Peak Renesmee energy, this old ass child.

Covered in tears, a preteen Yami is dragged to a tomb somewhere in Egypt, as if to scope out his future abode that he absolutely will not be buried in because he does, in fact, get smooshed into a puzzle.

And seeing a wonderful opportunity he immediately topples into it.

name a more iconic duo than Yugioh and ledges.

After walking down this long pit, we come to take part in some sort of Ancient Egyptian gods ceremony. Which is fascinating, because it’s not too, too often in this show that we reference the Egyptian gods outside of what is in the cards that Marik plays. But these are like the literal gods, not the fancy cards.

I have no idea if this is referencing an actual ceremony we know about or an actual mural that we have in some tomb in Egypt in real life. but I’m gonna guess this is probably not 100% historically accurate.

I have since been informed it is Kul Elna and not Kel Elna but I am not bothered enough to fix the cap.

Or this one.

Death count according to my google doc is 7,805,847,571 by the way. Originally I thought there were 700 people in Kul Elna. But thousands infer at least 1300 more so lets add another 2K just to round it off.

Says a lot when I’m like “eh give or take 700 deaths it makes like no difference to the number.”

A nice shot for anyone that wants to do an anime panel redraw for that meme (do people still do that meme? I have avoided art twitter rather successfully lately so I’m blessed to no longer have to draw memes. Unfortunately I’m still on webcomic twitter but that’s just a place where people get viral by complaining, so I don’t have to draw nearly as much promotional material. It kinda rocks.)

I really should not have laughed while watching this part of the episode but that realization that Pharaoh was trapped in a necklace anyway, and then this immediately following it was quite a funny jump cut.

And then he was gone.

so like.........

.......no backstory on Hassad, I guess? He’s just a guy who is wearing/is literally a millennium item and is currently depicted in a tablet?

I don’t even know where that backstory would go, it would have to be between Dartz and when the millennium items were forged out of the millennium stone. Or maybe he’s just a card? I dunno. But that guy jumped out of no where, just a brand new millennium item and now he’s gone.

My brother cannot tell the difference between Tahoma and Papyrus so hopefully it’s clear that Tea talks in Tahoma and Mana in Papyrus fonts. Unfortunately, they...have the same font color because I never initially thought they’d be on the same screen.

At this point, they run into Pharaoh, and Mana pretended like she knew that Pharaoh fell down a hole the whole time and that she didn’t spend half her day fishing.

Bro was like “Can you imagine trying to explain America to Mana?” and it sure was food for thought.

So, that’s all for this episode, in the next we shall find out how many more holes we can throw all our characters down. Which honestly is just Writing 101 when you think about it. As in Writing 101 the class, not 101 holes. Sorry I have a hard time reading and writing with long covid, although I still like to do it, so if parts of this are like incomprehensible, I’ll fix it in post. Like that joke just now. No idea if it made sense but we’re going to print it because I want to move on to the next episode.

And as always, to read these in chrono order from the very beginning when I had more than 3 operating brain cells, you can use this link here:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[olivyh]

TWST FAMILY HCS PT2) Savanaclaw and Octavinelle

Feel free to tack on your own Hc’s too!!! I love reading what other people think and how their view of the characters and of Twisted Wonderland in general change from person to person!!!

Savanaclaw:

Leona:

-Farena: We already know Leona describes his brother as being carefree and relaxed, but deep under that I think he’s a deeply intelligent man (how can you run a kingdom and be stupid?). He tries his best to make time in his schedule for his wife and child, and even try to get bonding tike with his younger brother (which never works out well). He tries to teach Cheka as much as he can, often giving him little life lessons while they play games. He’s a very kind and straightforward man, often being blunt when he doesn’t mean to. He stands a little taller than Leona, with Orange hair similar to Chekas. He keeps his hair tied out of his face as much as he can.

-Sister-in-law Kingscholar: A strong and confident woman, not afraid to speak her mind when she wants to. She’s blunt and she’d let you know about it. She’s also very kind in her own way, often dragging Leona off and trying to have serious talks with him, which he appreciates but doesn’t show. She adores Cheka and often spoils him without meaning to, and will spoil Leona too (but indirectly in a way similar to Ace’s father’s). Also very intelligent and good at reading people. I think she stands a little shorter than Leona, but she holds herself higher, and he slouches, so it looks as if they’re the same height. She has long yellow hair (again, similar to the ends of Cheka’s) that she often ties back as well.

-Cheka: We already know him, so heres a few Hcs!: He sometimes asks his mother to do his hair the same way as Leona’s, and tries to do everything like him (such as standing like him, trying to deepen his voice to sound like him, throwing sand at various objects in the castle yelling “King’s Roar!!”)

Ruggie:

-Grandma Bucchi: As he said himself, a stern and prideful woman. I think she’d be on the stricter side, having to teach Ruggie how to survive rather than him having to face those hard truths alone. She likely stands a lot shorter, likely 5’0 (sorry to anyone whos that height), than most other beastwomen. She’s a lot physically stronger than she looks, often still trying to pick Ruggie up at his age. She tries to spoil him when she can, trying to make him relax after working and taking over the household chores (which he declines, still cleaning up when she’s not looking- which earns him a smack to the head with a broom). She’s also a prankster, quietly jumping out from corners and scaring Ruggie or one of the other children. I think she feels a lot of regret over seeing Ruggie grow up so fast in the environment that he had, but she’s the proudest grandma ever. Whenever he sends pictures back she boasts to everyone at home (“See that! That’s my grandson’s school! See that there! He plays magift and is one of the best on the team! Look there! He’s got those nice ceremony robes!”), and even boasts about him with what little baby pictures they have (“See him walking at such a young age? Isn’t he so strong?”) Will never stop talking about her grandson, ever.

-Neighborhood kids: I think they’re like little siblings to Ruggie, so I’m adding them. They try to tale over what Ruggie did when he was at home, helping people fix up their houses or entertaining the baby hyenas when their mothers have other things to do. They also leave gifts to Ruggie when he comes back, between little dolls they made, bracelets they thought he’d like, charms, or pretty rocks and leaves. He keeps all of the gifts, no matter how small.

-His mom (bc the poor woman deserves a spot)(Poor meaning unfortunate)(The more i think abt it, both. It means both. Bad time?): I think she looked a lot like him, but with brighter blue eyes than his. She was definitely a prankster at heart, leaving clever traps behind for any poor soul to get stuck in. She was a very hardworker much like her son, taking on any task she could find to help out her mother. I think she’d try to leave as much behind for Ruggie as she could, which would include little notes and scribbles about how she was feeling throughout her pregnancy and how excited she was for him. Ruggie also kept all of those safe and sound, in a small box he keeps in the corner of his room.

(Can you guess who my fav chara is?)

Jack:

-Grandma & Grandpa Howl: A very loving couple, who always make time out of their schedule for their grandchildren, whether it be for school events, emergencies, or if any one of them want to come by and talk. They met when Grandpa Howl got lost and wandered by Grandma Howl’s family’s cabin (which happens to be the one they, and the rest of the family, still live in to this day) and he spent the night. I think they fell in love at first sight :’)

-Mama Howl: A very soft and loving beastwoman who is willing to sacrifice anything for her children. She is often strict, and sometimes a chatterbox, but she always reminds her children to stay safe and that she loves them. She always pats their head or cheek when she walks by, even if she has to reach a little to plant a kiss on Jack’s forehead. I think her hair would be a little darker grey, and she’d definitely be a little more muscular and taller, reaching six ft one when standing straight up. She’d have the same yellow eyes as Jack, and her hair would be cropped shorter due to her still moving around a lot.

-Papa Howl: Very similar to Jack personality and appearance wise. He stands an inch or two shorter than Jack, but is still very muscular due to working around the house and in the woods (chopping wood for the campfire, dragging around tools, carrying three wolf pups at a time in his younger days (only one now wants to be carried, which hurts the poor man’s heart a bit)

-Baby brother Howl: Huffy and a little moody, but a hard worker even if he complains while doing it most of the time. That’s often with his parents, but when he does something with Jack he doesn’t complain a bit. He’s very attached to his older brother, looking up to him for his strength and strong morals. He often compares him to superheroes and star athletes in his mind, but sometimes it slips out, resulting in one very embarrassed wolf boy and another very flattered wolf boy, ignore their wagging tails, it means nothing. I think he stands pretty tall for a preteen, around 5’7-5’8 and growing taller by the day. Same hair and eye color as Jack. Acts like he doesn’t like to play games with his younger sister but will never turn down a game of tag.

-Baby sister Howl: An absolute sweetheart. She just wants the best for her family and will do whatever she can to make what they want happen. Jack is hungry? Good thing she made her special dessert (it’s a poptart with whipped cream messily piled on top with sprinkles and literal sugar cubed wedged in it, but don’t tell her you don’t like it, please she’d actually bawl). Her other older brother is tired? She can get him extra blankets! Mama needs help cleaning? She can mop (she really just throws water on the floor and praises herself for a job well done). Papa need to cut wood? She can- no, she can’t. Please don’t give her an axe. She’ll cheer him from the sidelines with a song she made up just for him instead! She has their mother’s grey hair and father’s dark brown eyes, and loves to do her hair like the princesses she sees on Tv! (Yes, Jack will wear a too-small dress and Tiara if his sister wants to play princess. No, he will not let anyone take pictures.)

Octavinelle:

Tweels:

-Mama Leech: At first glance, a very kind woman with soft eyes. Willing to open her arms to anyone who might need help. Then, a terrifying grin similar to Floyd’s as that poor unfortunate soul realizes the trap they’d been thrown in. She’s very kind and patient towards both her boys and husband, as well as their friends (even of she is on guard near their friends, throwing a few hollow threats to see if it’d scare them away)(She doesn’t like to share her babies). She dotes on the tweels as much as possible, indulging im whatever curiosity they may have. Floyd wants to know what going through riptide is like? They leave tomorrow to find one. Jade wants to know more about life on land? She’ll find as many books as possible and ask (threaten) people for their land belongings. She knows when too far is too far though, and is very skilled at reeling the boys back in if they get to that point. Will always call them her little guppies, no matter how big they get. I think she’d have a teal bob on top, with the underside of her hair being black (which makes her hair look color changing when she swims). Im her human form shes only a few inches shorter than her boys, ranging around the same as Jack’s mother.

-Papa Leech: The definition of old Hollywood New York mob boss. Strict and blunt about his interests and problems, and not afraid to cause any problems if provoked. When the tweels were younger and they’d wrestle and bite at him, he’d throw them off him easily, telling them they need to work to beat him, even if he was impressed by their teamwork at first. Will die to protect his family, and was likely put in that position many times in the past due to his uh… business. He values his wife and children more than anything, and has done everything in his power in the past to protect them from harm. When they went to NRC at first, he felt defeated and almost wanted to beg them to stay safe with him (not that his pride would allow it).(Both the tweels can see through his facade easily)

Azul:

-Grandma ‘grotto: A very stern and prim octomermaid. What she says goes in the Ashengrotto house, and she often catches herself making unnecessary comments. She does apologize. Also a very loving grandmother towards Azul, often babying him whenever possible (doing the classic “you’re not eating enough here take some more” grandma move)(She will smooch his face whenever possible when there are no business clients nearby). Tries to boost his confidence since she knew about what was happening to him (Chances are she went through the same thing- being an octomer as well) and dod her best to protect him and make him happy. She taught him how to write with his tentacles and encouraged him to do his best in everything he does.

-Mama ‘grotto: Another businesslady in the front absolute softie in the back situation. Adores her son and is incredibly proud of how far he’s come.I think she looks identical to Azul, but more heavyset and, of course, female. She coddled Azul as much as possible, which worked out well with baby Azul’s clingy nature. She had no shame in walking around with the little guy stuck to her (unless he smacked a tentacle to her face when she was working on her restaurant), and made sure everyone knew what a good boy he was. She would show pictures to everyone (similar to Ruggie’s grandma), but respects his wishes in wanting to hide pictures of his past. She still shows anyone who asks pictures of him at NRC (compliments to the twins, who send her updates when her son is busy), and will tell everyone how smart he is and how much he’s grown.

-Step-Papa grotto: A very professional man in every aspect of his life, which stretches to his relationship with his stepson. When he learns about the contracts and Azuls UM, he’s over the moon with how happy he is. He swam around with a little more pep than usual, flicking his tail and flaring out his fins the more and more Azul told him. He helps him reword and format his contracts to his advantage, and is always willing to talk with him about Mostro Lounge or (on rare occasion) some memories before Step papa Ashengrotto met Mama Ashengrotto (which always make him happy that Azul trusts him enough). I think he’d be a pretty generic looking Mer, with an average looking tail and such

[masked-disciple]

Yeah, that and radqueer people keep trying to redefine transspecies and insisting that they came up with it (it's been around for 30+ years...), so part of me is just "fucking teenagers again. anyway." and the other part of me is irked at their disrespect towards established communities.

My other concern is yeah, it was immediately co-opted by bad faith actors. There's a LOT of teenagers and preteens who insist they're transage (identify as an age they're physically not) and are adults, and then go talk to adults who are transage and insist they're children. The former seems mostly like just a terrible way of describing being dissatisfied with infantalization, and the latter either age regression (in which case you should call it that) or really malicious actors.

You also get the fun things like transautistic or transrace, or some other flavour of trans-whatever that either already exists by another name or is just... incredibly rude. (Most transdisabilities that they talk about are just blatantly BIID, which goes to show none of these people do any research. Transrace is already sort of a thing, for people adopted by families of a different race of culture. It's reasonably clear that what they're doing is... not that. Don't get me started on how insulting transautism and trans-ADHD are. Either you're questioning the diagnosis and phrasing it really weirdly for no reason, or you're being ableist.)

I've also seen the paraphilia aspect to be... actually kind of comic in a "PLEASE touch grass" way. Most of it circles whether or not someone is pro-, anti-, or complex-contact; and the so-called 'big three' (pedophilia, necrophilia, and zoophilia).

I've seen many "pro-contact pro-para except anti-contact big three" which just means... you can be a plushophile or objectophile (exactly what they sound like) and do whatever but don't touch kids, animals, or corpses. Which is the most normal position ever and somehow that gets summed up as "complex-contact" for some reason. (I think it's more like Baby's First Kink?? I'm not sure. I have zero idea why there is a community about this. Most of the paraphilias I've seen are just such normal things. Are the kids these days that regressive about sexuality??)

Being anti-radqueer tends to come in two flavors: basically Ace Exclusionism Extended Edition, or "you canNOT be transautistic, stop being disrespectful", and there's not much of an in-between.

I figure a lot of it is just the Hot New Teenager Thing, but it's also a very attractive space for potential predators. So between annoying teenager culture and potentially extremely dangerous people, I steer well clear.

So I had a look at that “how should youth fight for Palestine” page and the mods are all antis, which probably bodes ill for my “don’t make all your school projects about activism, you’ll most likely burn out” reblog, as I am a gross person who thinks you’re not automatically evil if you write about awful things

But I also noticed them saying they are “anti radqueer” and guys, I’ve got nothing. What’s a radqueer and how do I know if I’ve got a new sin?

[muertawrites]

The Dark of the Moon (Zuko x Reader)

Summary: Late night insomnia turns into a conversation about love, and Zuko makes an interesting discovery about his feelings for you.

Word Count: 2,100

Author’s Note: You can thank Avatar being on Netflix and rekindling my childhood obsession for this one. I wrote this mostly as a dialogue / pacing exercise, but it’s also a bit therapeutic since I can actually relate to Zuko more than I realized or could have ever foreseen watching this show as a ten year old. Enjoy a little emotional romantic fantasy on behalf of a preteen crush and all the toxic friends I’ve ever had. ✌

~ Muerta

Zuko usually slept with you. It started one late night during a mutual bout of insomnia, in which you ran into him as you both wandered the halls of the Western Air Temple. You hardly knew him, but he sat with you and talked about everything that night - anything that wasn’t related to the war or either of your pasts that had been torn apart by it. He surprised you with his dry, even-toned sense of humor, as well as with his intelligence in not only combat but literature and philosophy as well; being a healer and a fortune teller by trade, you found a lot to talk about with him.

As the nights awake became more common, you and Zuko spent more of them together; sometimes you’d wait until you happened upon him in the halls, others one of you would designate a place to meet. Eventually, one of you would go directly to the other’s room and you’d sit, sharing whatever light or heavy thoughts happened to plague your minds. You learned a lot about him in those nights, and grew to feel proud of how far he’d come in such a short time - you often helped others, those much older than yourselves, over months to scale the internal struggles he had, and he’d managed to do so on his own. The more you gave to him, the more he gave back, and it soon became commonplace to fall asleep to the sound of his breathing as he lay in his sleeping bag on the other end of your room. 

And that’s exactly what woke you up - the strange, still energy of your bedroom that indicated his resting place was empty. You rolled over, unable to spy his silhouette under the moonlit windowsill, and you rose, your feet carrying you to where you were certain he would be. 

It was a gorgeous night, with a gentle breeze ruffling the crisp air. You found Zuko in the courtyard, gazing out over the fog veiled landscape under the swell of the full moon. Without a word, you sat beside him, watching the clouds roll by like ships on a silent ocean. His chest churned in turmoil, so intensely you could feel it in your own.

“Apparently, I can’t sleep without you anymore,” you said. “How selfish of you to have problems that keep you up at night.” 

Zuko huffed out a soft chuckle, though the weight in his chest didn’t lift. He leaned back onto his palms, craning his neck backward and allowing the wind to tousle his ash-black hair. 

“You didn’t need to come out here,” he told you gently. “It’s not your job to help me fix myself.” 

“It never has been,” you replied. “I’ve never fixed anyone. All I ever do is listen and recite a few proverbs; everyone comes to their own conclusions in the end.” 

“That’s not true,” Zuko retorted. “I’ve seen you heal. You can do things not even Katara can do, just with whatever happens to be growing nearby. It’s incredible.” 

You smiled, your heart fluttering in your chest. 

“Physical healing and emotional healing are two super different things,” you told him. “Emotional wounds can only really be healed by the people who have them. I mean, unless you want me to crack open your chest and poke around at your heart for a little while.” 

Zuko chuckled again, the tenseness of his muscles easing up just slightly. He opened his palm and spawned a softly glowing flame, both of you watching it flicker in the cool night air. 

“I wish I’d been born a water bender,” he mused. “Something that would do good for others. All fire does is destroy.” 

You were silent for a moment, watching the thoughts swirl, tormented, behind his eyes. You thought of all the times you’d seen him smile, how his happiness made his handsome features all the more radiant and caused your stomach to bubble with joy. The memory shot a spike through your chest.  

“... You know, we only ever see one part of the moon,” you commented, breaking the quiet. “Everything behind that - the dark side - we don’t really consider, even though it’s always there and is as much a part of the moon as the side that’s in front of us.” 

Zuko smirked at you, distinguishing the flame in his hand. 

“Reciting a proverb at me?” he teased. 

You grinned. 

“This one’s more like a metaphor,” you admitted cheekily. “That tea I make, the one that tastes awful but makes pain completely disappear?” 

Zuko nodded. 

“I need fire to make it,” you continued. “I have to roast the ingredients over an open flame before boiling them. Without fire, I couldn’t do most of my healing; it would be too painful without the tea to help.” 

Zuko said nothing, but you could sense your words sinking into the cracks in his troubled thinking. 

“Fire is heat and light,” you added. “It’s just as important to life as water or earth or air. Every element is capable of destruction or creation - there isn’t a single one that’s inherently good or bad. The person that controls them is the only one who determines that.” 

There was another long pause, in which you busied yourself noting the different wild plants growing between the stones that paved the courtyard. You listed the different medicines you could make with each, the process calming you. 

“I’ve done some pretty shitty things to people I care about in order to embrace my goodness,” Zuko finally spat. The bitterness in his tone stung you. You turned to him, and for a split second you caught a familiar, rageful glimmer in his eye; the sight made your own temper flare. 

“Zuko, don’t do that to yourself,” you said. “It wasn’t just your father who hurt you and you know that.” 

“I know,” he snapped, cutting off the end of your words. “I still care about her, though. I don’t even know if she really ever cared about me, but I still… I still miss her.” 

Your ribs seemed to cave in, crushing your heart and lungs. He’d told you about Mai many times, and all you ever saw was that the darkness in her drew out the darkness in him; it even hung over you, clouding out the comfort you felt with Zuko and replacing it with unease and doubt. You feared there was no place in his heart for you - not while Mai still remained in it, no matter how badly her memory made him bleed. 

“It’s hard,” you choked out. “I still miss some of the people who hurt me, too.” 

That was all you could manage to say. You pulled your knees to your chest, half-burying your face in the fabric of your night dress as you forced the tears welling in the corners of your eyes not to flow. 

This is what you get, you scolded yourself. This is what you get for feeling things for people you know could never feel the same about you. 

A sensation of warmth curling around your shoulders made you jolt. Instinctively, you inched away, glancing in Zuko’s direction as he retracted the arm that had draped around you. You expected him to look away, but he didn’t - his pale amber eyes instead locked with yours. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “You hold your head so high… I forget sometimes that you’re trying to heal, too.” 

His words caused your tears to spill, though you didn’t cry; your face remained stony, and no sobs shook you. Your tears fell as easily as water from a cliff’s edge, impeded by nothing but the will of gravity. 

“... The cards you lent me,” Zuko said after a pause, almost blurting the words. “I’ve been reading them, to help me let go of everything I left behind. I don’t think I’m doing it right.” 

A few weeks ago, you’d given him a deck of cards you used for fortune telling. Each card depicted a different object, element, or scene, and were laid out in combinations that gave insight into a person’s spiritual path. You liked them more than other forms of fortune telling, as it encouraged its readers to make their own assumptions and drive their own fates instead of having it simply told to them. You gave your deck to Zuko so he could reflect on something finite, instead of getting consumed by his own thoughts. It was exactly what you used them for, and you knew they would help.

“Why?” you asked softly. 

“I drew a card that didn’t make sense,” he told you. “I laid down the Tides, then the Crossed Blades, and then… I pulled the Badger Mole. The other two I understand - one is for movement and change, the other is for strength in allies, but I… can’t figure out what the Badger Mole is supposed to mean.” 

“Badger moles are strong, powerful,” you explained, speaking dispassionately from memory, “but they’re gentle. The card represents the duality of both. They mate for life, too, so it also represents love and companionship.” 

As you spoke, you felt a meteor crash between you and Zuko. His face fell, dumbfounded, as he looked at you, his eyes darting minutely back and forth as you watched the pieces mend together in his head. 

“What do you feel?” you whispered, part of you terrified of his answer.

“... I feel like I’m fighting the tide,” Zuko replied, his tone awestruck. “It’s pushing me to shore, but I keep trying to swim back out to sea.” 

The corners of your lips curled upwards slightly, your cheeks still sticky with tears. 

“It’s really scary, huh?” you said. “Loving another person.” 

“Yeah... especially when you’ve never known what it feels like before,” Zuko added softly. 

You reached out, tentatively resting your palm against his cheek. His hand rose to close over yours, the sensation trembling you to your core. 

“How many times have you pulled the Badger Mole?” you asked. 

“Every time,” Zuko breathed. “I’m so stupid for not realizing. You make me feel wild and calm all at once. I get this crushing feeling in my chest when I see you or even think of you, and I thought it was just fear or sadness. But… you don’t make me want to lash out like I used to, with my father and Azula and Mai… just the thought of you makes me want to be the best person I can be. Even though I know you already accept me for not being that person.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh, somewhat defeatedly, your knees falling away from your chest and crossing in front of you. Your body was heavy, but your head felt light. 

“I love you, Zuko,” you murmured. “But I’m afraid.” 

Zuko wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. His forehead fell to rest against yours, his eyes closing as he steadied his erratic breathing. 

“If you’re scared, I’ll protect you,” he said quietly. “That’s what I think lovers are supposed to do.” 

The word made every organ in your body jump to your throat. Lovers. Your limbs felt weak, but your heart felt strong with Zuko holding you. 

Without thinking, you took his face in your hands and kissed him. It wasn’t hard and passionate like you expected, but firm, gentle, his lips pressing to yours like two palms grasped in an assuring embrace. He lay one of his large, able hands on the back of your neck, his thumb tenderly stroking your skin. 

When you finally broke apart, Zuko gazed at you with a soft, forlorn expression. His fingers reached to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“I’m sorry I talk about her so much,” he said. “It must kill you.” 

You shook your head, a soft smile forming on your lips, still red from where Zuko had kissed them. 

“Don’t worry about it,” you told him. “I know some people from my past you’d happily drive a knife into.”

Zuko chuckled, the light, airy smile you saw when he was truly happy spreading to each of his cheeks. The spike that drove itself through your heart when you thought of it earlier was gone, replaced by the sweet warmth of a low flame on a cold night. With him, you were safe. 

“Let’s get some sleep,” Zuko suggested, taking your arm to help you stand. 

His hand slipped easily into yours, your fingers twining together. He leaned forward and kissed you again, his lips only grazing yours, causing your skin to buzz with the sensation. 

“... Do you think we’ll have to talk to Aang about this?” you asked as you walked back to your room. 

Zuko raised an eyebrow at you, confused. 

“He is your great-grandfather,” you elaborated with jest. “I should probably do the chivalrous thing and ask for his blessing or something.” 

Zuko laughed, nudging you with his shoulder so that you stumbled over your feet. You shoved him back, to which he took you by the waist and wrapped you tightly in his arms, kissing your cheek. 

“He probably won’t care,” he replied. “But my uncle will love you.”

[7urtleking]

I don't really have a diary anymore so I don't really have a place to write without shame besides here. I have a few irl people here, but not that many, so I feel like I can be soft for a moment.

I just came to bed, where my fiance is asleep. I saw them snuggle closer into their pillow, and it made me smile like an idiot.

I can't really express myself well anymore, don't really have the outlet I used to have as a preteen writing bad poetry in any composition book I could get my hands on, don't really have the uninhibited, hopeless romantic kind of thing going on that I used to. I'm much more realistic, much more pessimistic, and much less sappy than I was a few years ago, and I find myself unable to tell them what I really feel, what I really want to say.

They were there for me when no one else was, no matter what the situation, no matter where I was on my incredibly rocky journey to figuring out who I was, and I really can't say that anyone else has felt as consistently like home, like acceptance, as they have. When I have a bad day, nothing sounds as good as them coming home, us cuddling up in bed, and just talking about whatever has been on our minds all day.

I don't feel like I have to mask with them, neither in terms of ADHD or autism, nor with dysphoria or PTSD. Whatever it is that's giving me a bad time, I can tell them it's that, and they will accept it as what it is, or listen as I work my way through it, and they're incredibly good at figuring out which thing I need.

They really understand me, and that's a big deal for me. It's not just the almost immediate understanding of what I need in the moment, but honestly just the full understanding of who and what I am, and the full acceptance thereof. They see me, for me and all of my flaws, and still like what they see. The thought of that alone is making me cry even as I type this, but I've never had someone know me, really know me, and still want me. But they have known me for literally 1/3 of my life and still looked at me and thought "yes, I want to spend my life with him."

They are the most wonderful, kindest, sweetest, most genuine person I have ever met, and I don't know how I got so lucky as to call this person my fiance, but I love them so much, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with them by my side, navigating life together as a team.

Maddie, I love you so fucking much, and I'm sorry I can't express it well in words, but you're my everything.