#so little previews r kinda the best of both worlds

[blueskittlesart]

Hi, I saw your tags on the ask about your thesis comic and got to wondering... why would you not want to post your art if you're planning on showing it to an agent? I'm a musician, not a visual/digital artist, so I might just be missing context.

i'm going off of advice from my thesis advisor, but from what i understand, it's less likely that people are going to pay for your work if the whole thing is already online for free. (it's still possible obviously, but less likely, and you'd usually have to have an INSANE amount of viewership to even be considered.) posting previews like i've been doing gives me the best of both worlds in that i'm able to prove that there's interest in my work but there's still exclusivity to it! I believe it's also just generally an industry standard thing where if you want to sell something you don't give it out in full to the internet beforehand.

[rei-ismyname]

X-MEN #7 From The Ashes

Possibly the biggest downside to the circular, repetitive nature of X-Men comics is that real life is awful enough. Jettisoning the hope of the Krakoan age for the misery porn of From The Ashes feels kinda callous and depressing in a world where there are multiple ongoing genocides and the USA just said yes to fascism again. Nevertheless, join me in some light escapism - a little Magneto goes a long way. Spoilers for X-Men #7.

I've also been spelling Jed Mackay's name wrong. Sorry

Running throughout this issue is Magneto's flashback to The Iron Night. The 'this is Logan behaviour' exchange from the previews has been all over my dash and it's great to get more of this dynamic. It's fantastic to see someone in universe say it out loud - Logan is a whiny little bitch, often a hypocrite, and can be blind to his immortality privilege. Scott knows that better than anyone - his wife's boyfriend throws a tanty like no other. They love him, but it's another reason why he's not the best Wolverine. I hope 'Logan behaviour' sticks around in the fandom.

This is Logan behaviour, Idie

I appreciate the informal nature of the Piper discussion. For one, you don't want to scare the kid or make her feel unwelcome. Idie said that she 'couldn't wait for you (Cyclops) and Magneto' re: Idie - having Psylocke be the one to spell it out for her is effective. The X-Men IS a team and the stakes are incredibly high. Besides, as Beast said in my first screenshot they have a Cerebro. This test could have been done from afar without the risk, and it's implied that it was.

I'm enjoying seeing Idie behaving compassionately, but it looks like she's got some serious anger and mistrust of authority (both justified) from Krakoa. It's great she's getting this kind of character focus and I hope it's followed up on. So many threads and beats have been setup that are likely to be disrupted by the Raid on Graymalkin event kicking off next week, but I'll reserve my judgement on that for when this first arc is concluded.

This is Logan behaviour, wild sentinel.

Gotta love Max and Scott's friendship being shown as they drink crappy beers and bask in Magneto rhetoric. I don't want to question the expert, but is this sentinel Wild or wild? It's clearly not an ORCHIS Iron Man model, but Wild Sentinel has a very specific meaning.

Okay, clearly Wild. It's not attacking either of them, though. Kind of Cyclops to spell out the Star Trek Borg adaptive schtick they've got going on. This is the action scene of the issue, the mandated violence.

'Why is that leopard eating our faces?'

I don't mean that entirely pejoratively either. I'm just as susceptible to the Magneto and Cyclops power fantasy as the next person, though it's a bit of a dirty trick to wait until issue 7 to show it.

This is NOT Logan behaviour, Magneto.

Sigh. I love your sense of drama Magneto. Play to the crowd, old man. I hope your monologue doesn't become ironic. Oh wait, we already know it has. This could have been a clever moment.

Uh oh, looks like his knees are weak and arms are heavy. Vomit on his sweater already...

So we see the moment Mags' powers start to shit the bed, right after a Wild Sentinel attack. I'd be suspecting Cassandra Nova's involvement just off these two data points tbh. Which idiot resurrected her anyway?

Oh, fuck off. Logan behaviour, Mackay.

R-LDS sounds like horse shit to me. Scott says 'we don't know that for sure' so how does this speculative condition have an acronym already? Mags is speaking as if it's a fact, but he doesn't even have the same body The Five resurrected. Maybe he has Umari-Key-Waiting Room-Brashear Portal Syndrome. Obviously he's scared but this feels like an idiot ball moment, and a cynical jab at Krakoa. The Five was something they got right, even with Sinister in the mix. The implications would be insane. 16 million Genoshans were resurrected, 250k Krakoans (give or take), a whole bunch of vulnerable human children via The Phoenix Foundation, Captain America, and 1000 fucking years of Sinisterized clones etc that had nothing of the sort.

No, there's way too many data points that apply to Magneto alone to make seriously considering The Five's resurrections as the source of patient zero's malady. It would be scientifically irresponsible to get to the point of naming it and then an acronym for that. Mags is good enough at science to know this, and Beast is too. I'm no scientist, but it manifested during a fight with a Wild Sentinel. I assume they have better resources than the Marvel wiki I'm using, but that robot/Cassandra Nova is my prime suspect - the lady they know for certain to be involved in ongoing genetic fuckery - activating X-Genes. Though not Piper Cobb...

Or yes Piper Cobb? Smash cut cliffhangers aside, this would be a great time to retcon Homo Sapiens Superior right the fuck out of existence. It's never made sense, and not just the 'Superior' part. Again, I'm not a scientist but I'm certain that's not how phylogeny works. They're mutated humans, but I don't live in 616 which canonically operates on impossible physics, so idk. My fingers are crossed but my expectations are nil.

That is Logan behaviour, masked kidnapper

Okay, we'd known from solicits that Beast would be getting beat down in captivity at Graymalkin. I had speculated he'd give himself up to get inside, but the ol' bag over the head works too. I dig his outfit.

X-Men #7 is worth reading IMO, and it's one of the better ones based off Magneto content alone. Last issue I wrote that the formula was becoming easier to spot, and I stand by that. A handful of character moments, some new information about one of the ongoing mysteries but it piles more questions on top of half answers and speculation. For example, we get to see Scott and Max fight a sentinel and be friends. There's new information there but a LOT more questions. The characters are at the point of absurd speculation which raises tension but doesn't make them look very competent. To kick off the event 'Raid on Graymalkin' they went with a final page bag over the head instead of any choice and comic book events notoriously derail everything so friends can argue and punch each other.

All that said, it's only *just* acceptable in my opinion - and that's the best I can say for the rest of the line too. We know that there's been ongoing issues with writers simply not knowing major Krakoan plot points, though they probably have the excuse that they were writing before FOTHOX/ROTPOX ended. Surely there's someone in charge of overseeing all this, like Hickman was as Head of X. *Looks at the credits* Tom Brevoort - Conductor of X... That's a fancy way to say 'line editor/hatchet man.' I'll stop there and save it for the From The Ashes piece I'm doing, but spoilers: I'm not impressed with how this guy keeps failing upwards.

What did you think? Thanks for reading.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 277: Go Go Child Soldiers

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “hey guys I’m going to kill off Aizawa” and we were like “no you’re not” and he was like “watch me, I’m really gonna do it!!” and we were all “DO NOT” and he was all “okay okay geez.” I don’t know if he thinks he’s being cute or what, but we will probably have to have a little talk after this. Anyway, so other stuff that happened included the obligatory news copter showing up to record the carnage so that All Might and Eri can watch; Tomura activating some Approximately High End Noumus to serve as cannon fodder to distract all the hero extras; and Gran dropping off Kacchan and Deku a little ways away from the battle and being all “stay here”, which was IMMEDIATELY and PROFOUNDLY ignored as they just FLEW RIGHT BACK OVER TO THE BATTLE anyway to save Aizawa. Yep. Kacchan really wants to lose that quirk.

Today on BnHA: Tomura, Deku, Kacchan, and Endeavor all take turns flinging each other into the ground and launching fire and explosions and stuff, all of which is impressively violent and doesn’t really get anything accomplished. The grown-ups all collectively decide to shrug off Deku and Kacchan joining in on the fight as though they’re teenagers sneaking into an R-rated film as opposed to CHILDREN on a BATTLEFIELD, and I can’t help but feel like this very nonchalant decision will have some serious consequences! Tomura has a moment of self-awareness in which he’s all “is AFO possessing me lol” before deciding “NAH THAT CAN’T POSSIBLY BE TRUE” which, haha, okay. The chapter then ends with Mt. Lady unsettlingly taking on Gigantomachia ALL BY HERSELF??! which seems like a REALLY TERRIBLE IDEA?? and had better not result in anything bad happening to her though or I SWEAR TO GOD.

ooooooooh!

preview of the final battle, anyone? and I feel like this panel is deliberately drawn to resemble All Might and AFO’s iconic battle at Kamino as well, which ramps up the intensity all the more. very nice

and shout out to Aizawa for making this moment possible with his quirk! I have to assume this isn’t something we’re gonna get the chance to see too often moving forward, unless he decides to chaperone all future battles from here on out, which would be good for the kids but also very stressful for me

anyways, so... lol

it really is almost as though Gran asked them this question and then Deku was like “OOH! I KNOW!” and then just leaped into action to demonstrate. “this!! him getting ahold of me, right?? this would be so much worse.” good job Deku

although

he’s not wrong, though. dammit. I mean, I’ve already tacitly endorsed their involvement by approving of them saving Aizawa’s life. you know, for that brief span of time after Aizawa showed up and before we knew how powerful Tomura would still be even without his quirks, I really thought that Aizawa losing his own quirk was all but an inevitability. now, though, it kinda feels like they absolutely wouldn’t stand a chance without him?? hahaha

honestly it’s a little uncomfortable to think about the fact that the Child Soldiers That We All Agree Should Under No Circumstances Be A Part Of This War have so far a) saved Hawks’s life and b) now saved Aizawa’s, and by extension c) saved the entire world. I mean but don’t get me wrong, you still won’t see me writing the HPSC any thank you cards any time soon

anyway now that I’ve said all that, watch Aizawa just immediately lose his fucking quirk right afterwards though. WE’LL SEE

...sigh

why is every last one of the pros so utterly goddamn useless. sorry, was that a bit harsh. I’ll try to phrase it more gently. what I meant to say was, why is every single non-Mirko adult person on this mission about as useful as a RoseArt crayon. why do they all SUCK so HARD. why are they BAD. bad!! they’re just bad!!!

anyways but back to Deku

I’m torn between SOBBING FREELY at this and banging my head against a wall lmao. help please my green son is so loving and brave and so tremendously stupid, just

this is true! and by the way though Deku, just remind me again, I spaced it out just now, what was the reason Tomura was out here to get ambushed by Aizawa and the others in the first place? he was after... something? one for... the road? one for the money? one flew over the cuckoo’s nest?? damn what was it

damn it Aizawa stop dumping your feels in the middle of my sarcastic rants

bro. I know, right?? listen I’m proud of him too don’t get me wrong! the unfortunate thing is though that right now he’s not just your student; he’s also -- and it’s not your fault you don’t know this yet though -- The Thing That Tomura Wants Right Now, On A Silver Platter. so yeah. hence why I am concerned

oop no time to talk though cuz my boys are doing a ~*~COMBO THING~*~ ooooooooh yeahhhhhhh

look at that. “okay Deku you just hold him there and try not to get shot.” truly dazzling teamwork there

LISTEN, YOU!!

THE DISRESPECT?? ooh man and look at his face. this is the happy reunion I’ve been waiting oh my god oh my god

LOL

YEAH HE CAN DO THAT NOW HAHA. while you were off getting all transcendent he was mastering his BLOOP now what huh take that

...sob he’s just yanking Deku along behind him as if he weighs nothing. it’s like that one fancomic of the entire Bakusquad trying to stop an angry Kirishima --

-- HOLY SHIT I SAID “WHOA” ALOUD

MEEP THAT’S CLOSE. whew. okay. breathe. breathe

OH IT’S YOU AGAIN

you guys, is it just me or has this entire battle so far just been one long loop of -> Deku tries to fight Tomura -> Kacchan goes with -> Kacchan almost dies -> an adult intervenes at the last possible second -> Endeavor tries to fight Tomura -> Endeavor almost dies -> Deku tries to fight Tomura -> repeat ad infinitum

anyway so Tomura’s actually going flying into the ground now. that probably came within a hair’s breath of actually nearly almost mildly hurting him! way to go guys keep it up!

and Endeavor’s now echoing a question which many fans have been asking these last few weeks, “where’s Shouto?” where indeed. off somewhere not being a dumbass like these two, one hopes. maybe sticking his arm down some Not Quite High Ends’ throats and making them hibernate

lord help us Tomura’s actually stopped fighting for two seconds to monologue. is this good or bad??

is this a deliberate tactic? are you trying to buy time?? I don’t like this lol. why did they stop fighting you now that they’ve finally almost sort of got an edge on you

wow we’re really just... letting the kids fight, huh

just letting them be right there in formation with Endeavor. no one stops to think “are there any actual adult people we could try and swap out in place of these two high school freshmen?” because they already know the answer is “no there are not” SIGH

EVEN AIZAWA OMG

AND WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THAT?? “la la la we’re not gonna think about it.” goddammit I liked it when you guys were at least trying to pretend like the sixteen-year-olds shouldn’t be here fdslkfjlk

anyway. for what it’s worth, at least we’ve got the only three people in the world who ever tried to surpass All Might standing up here ready to take on the guy whose strength and toughness is approximately the same as his. that’s something. I guess this really is our best shot

YES WE GET IT

“I GUESS IT CAN’T BE HELPED” should be the goddamn chapter title. either that or “SHRUG, CHILD SOLDIERS, I GUESS!!!”

anyway so he’s telling Deku and Kacchan not to ask for direction in one breath, and then giving them orders right away with the next

djsalfkj. welp. you heard him Kacchan. guard Deku no matter what. this will definitely end well

KLDSKFLKSHG MEANWHILE!!!

DON’T MIND HIM HE’S JUST POSSESSED BY A LITTLE BIT OF AFO-SOUL. NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT

oh man he actually looks freaked out??!

like he has no idea what happened just now. I’m sorry, up until this point were you thinking that having echo-y “wooooo... One for All... go get it~~” voices inside your head was perfectly normal?? lol boy he’s been playing you this whole time and he’s still playing you. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU IGNORE YOUR DEAD FAMILY’S EERIE DREAM WARNINGS. YOU GET POSSESSED

meanwhile!! both Deku and Tomura reacting at the same time! DO YOU BELIEVE ME THAT THEY SHARE A MENTAL LINK YET. hmm hmm hmm anyway

so now Tomura is straight up in denial!

sadly I’m growing more and more convinced that he’s wrong on all three accounts there. you may think it’s your power and your body...

and wait though, because this is the first time that the idea of him not being in control of his body has actually been brought up, isn’t it? so that’s a nice big red flag there! up until now the argument could be made that even if AFO’s will is manipulating Tomura from behind the scenes and influencing his decisions, there was nothing to indicate that AFO could potentially take over his entire body. but now that Tomura has brought it up as a possibility -- even if he’s in denial about it -- I’d say it’s not only possible, but extremely likely! so that’s a nice big thing looming on the horizon there

and it also in turn gives us a potential solution to the question of “how can this battle possibly end without all of the heroes dying and/or Tomura losing?” because one has to assume that Aizawa’s quirk is going to be taken out of the picture at some point, whether it’s because of him blinking at the wrong time or being shot with a bullet or what. at which point Tomura would basically become unstoppable again and be free to just destroy everything like he wants. but now this introduces the possibility of him potentially taking himself out of the picture for the time being. like if he realizes that he’s in danger of being outright possessed, I could see him leaving them for now and running off to go wage mental war with himself for a while, giving the heroes some time to regroup and lick their wounds. so that’s interesting to think about

holy shit!!

okay so just a couple of things I want to take note of here before we read on

“I don’t want to become like you” -- I think we can take this as confirmation that Tomura will fight against AFO if and when he realizes he’s being manipulated. his loyalty to him isn’t completely blind. so that could have some potentially huge implications moving forward

this image of Tomura being on the inside of AFO’s body, in what looks to be the same mental landscape from chapter 270, though. ...yeah. just who is really in charge, here

anyway so his next thought on page 11 is “I want to be even greater than you”, echoing Deku (and Kacchan’s) desire to be even greater than All Might, which is yet another nice parallel between them

and he’s basically telling the AFO voice inside him to shut up now, as if it will actually listen

yep. you want to go after One for All for your own deeply personal reasons. not following your master’s whims at all, nope. you are your own man

so now finally Gran is getting in on the action!

no idea why he want after the arm though. as if a broken arm ever stopped anyone in this fucking manga

OOOH NANA NAME DROP

???? um??? your dead grandma??? remember???!! don’t tell me you don’t at least recognize your own fucking last name there?? that is significant and don’t try to tell me otherwise! and in a chapter about you being rebellious and trying to defy AFO’s will, besides!!

holy shit

1. THE GRAN/TOSHINORI FATHER/SON FEELS I WASN’T READY!!, and 2. HOLY SHIT THIS OLD MAN IS RIPPED, THOUGH

AND HERE COMES ENDEAVOR NOW TO RUIN EVERYTHING SOMEHOW, PROBABLY

I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT FACE MEANS BUT IT SURE AS HELL ISN’T A GOOD FACE I CAN TELL YOU THAT

OH NO SOMEHOW DEKU GOT INVOLVED AGAIN LOL

DIDN’T I TELL YOU IT WAS A NEVERENDING LOOP OF A FIGHT. SO NEXT UP IS KACCHAN JOINING IN AND THEN ALMOST DYING AGAIN

OH MY GOD

NEVER. ENDING. LOOP oh god oh god. next time don’t loudly shout “HE’S JUST THE BAIT” before launching your surprise attack you dingus!!

HOLY MOLY

OKAY BUT

I don’t know about you but I am hella impressed that he managed a blast like that without blowing his own fucking arm off

with the exception of that one time he got all excited and tried to vaporize Todoroki during the sports festival, we have almost never seen Katsuki go all out against anyone, and the possibility that we might be about to see it now is THRILLING. I AM THRILLED

NOW WE’RE CUTTING TO ENDEAVOR AND HE’S FLASHING BACK TO THE SHORT SPEECH ALL MIGHT GAVE HIM WAY BACK WHEN ABOUT THEM BEING DIFFERENT AND ABOUT HOW ENDEAVOR SHOULD FIND HIS OWN PATH RATHER THAN TRYING TO BE THE SAME KIND OF SYMBOL AS ALL MIGHT. AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THIS IS OR WHY IT’S BEING BROUGHT UP NOW BUT OH GOLLY!

(ETA: I guess it might be because Endeavor -- unlike All Might -- isn’t facing Tomura alone but is working together with the kids to do this combo? like it’s a teamwork thing? I don’t really know lol I’ll think on it some more.)

LOL WHAT

WHAT IS HAPPENING. lol everything is either being exploded or on fire

KFFLSLLK “MEANWHILE”?????

OH NO OH GOD

SIGHING OUT LOUD AGAIN!! not because I’m disappointed to cut away from the Kacchan Loses His Quirk Battle (in due time!!), but because this means that yet again I’m going to have to spend a chapter worrying about Horikoshi killing off one of the TWELVE remaining living female pro hero characters he has, of which one is a healer, another is retired and working as a secretary, yet another only seems to do TV commercials, yet another another currently has... I want to say two limbs?? but I’m not even sure anymore, and lastly two more yet anothers are currently WHEREABOUTS UNKNOWN and MAY ALREADY BE DEAD. so if you’re counting, that’s a full HALF of what was already maybe only a fifth of the total pro hero population in general

all of which is to say that IF YOU SO MUCH AS LAY A FINGER ON MT. LADY I WILL FUCKING END YOU HORIKOSHI. we are NOT HAVING THAT. you hear me?? YOU CAN’T SPEND ALL OF YOUR FREE TIME DRAWING MIRKO ALL OVER THE PLACE AND BEING ALL “I FUCKING LOVE GIRL POWER” ONLY TO GO AND BE ALL “OH BUT I KILLED MT. LADY THOUGH WHOOPS”!! DO YOU HEAR ME?? THIS AIN’T IT

sigh. and yet why do I have a very bad feeling about this. hopefully I’m just overreacting. please don’t sully this amazing arc!! MANGA GODS, I OFFER YOU THIS PRAYER

[nerianasims]

Billboard #1s 1985

Under the cut.

Foreigner -- "I Want To Know What Love Is" -- February 2, 1985

One of the quintessential 80s power ballads. It's actually kind of interesting if you think about it enough. He's not in love yet, but he's gotten sick of not being in love, so he's asking someone he's in the pre-love stage with to show him. Though he's had "heartache and pain" before, and doesn't know if he can face it again. It's not consistent. I feel like it's a missed opportunity, but oh well. It's good enough for what it is.

Wham! -- "Careless Whisper" -- February 16, 1985

Oh my god I love the saxophone in this. The music throughout the song is so incredibly sexy. And this is the kind of song George Michael's voice was made for. He's totally capable of sounding both hot and in agony at the same time. I actually adore a whole lot of cheating songs -- mostly, though not exclusively, the tormented kind. Drama! Love! Sex! Angst! Gorgeous.

REO Speedwagon -- "Can't Fight This Feeling" -- March 9, 1985

<3. He keeps singing "r"s like a pirate, but he doesn't go as hard on the other consonants, so I'm good with it. Lyrically, this song sounds like it might be two songs mashed together. "What started out as friendship has grown stronger" or "my life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you." Well which is it? Except I've had that happen. I love this song.

Phil Collins -- "One More Night" -- March 30, 1985

This is a depressing heartbreak song without the saving grace of any of Phil Collins' neat drum stuff. Blah.

We Are the World -- April 13, 1985

Whoo boy. I was 8 when this came out. Obviously I loved it. All the kids loved it. Now, though... I'm sorry, but it's bad. Really bad. Many others have gone deeply into why it's bad. I feel acutely embarrassed listening to it, so I'm just running away from it as fast as possible. (Remember all those celebrities singing "Imagine" in their mansions in 2020? I blame this song for that.)

Madonna -- "Crazy For You" -- May 11, 1985

This is one of Madonna's most straightforward love songs. Maybe the most, period. This or "Cherish," and this is a better song. It's lovely. Like Olivia Newton-John, Madonna can act a song. (Unlike in most movies she's been in.) But what I'm thinking about now is learning in this article that her label wouldn't let Madonna release "Into the Groove" as a single. That song was huge. It was played on the radio all the time. If it had been released as a single, or maybe if Billboard had tracked songs then like it does today, it would have been a massive smash, definitely #1. "Into the Groove" is also the best song of her very early career. "Crazy for You" is good, but not nearly as special.

Simple Minds -- "Don't You Forget About Me" -- May 18, 1985

As I am "Gen X", I am supposed to deeply connect with The Breakfast Club. I was 8 years old when it came out. My life as a teenager was nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, like that movie. I didn't recognize any of the "types." I liked the movie when I saw it in college, mostly, but the whole sexual harassment turns into a relationship deal was not seen as cool any longer. The "jocks vs. nerds" thing also felt very dated. The school in the movie was bigger and richer than mine, but it's a fantasy.

Anyway, though I don't feel much about the movie, its breakout song was really good. It does speak to a real fear both in graduating high school and during young adult relationships. I haven't forgotten the people I knew in high school, as far as I know, but obviously they don't have the same importance to me any longer. I'm Facebook friends with a lot of them. And very much not with a couple who were the most important then, because we grew apart -- or blasted apart. One of the nicest girls I knew in high school thinks there's a war on Christmas. Another keeps trying to get me to join her MLM. One of my best friends became my first boyfriend, and I don't regret that, but it was also a semi-disaster. And others... we just have nothing to say to each other any longer.

So, Breakfast Club: I don't connect with at all. "Don't You Forget About Me": Speaks to something very real and timeless.

Wham! -- "Everything She Wants" -- May 25, 1985

What a dick. Songs in which the narrator is a colossal jerk are perfectly fine, of course, but this one gets under my skin. He's whining about his wife getting pregnant when she's dissatisfied with their life and that they're broke. As if it's something she chose to do to him. She's stuck creating a whole other person with her blood and flesh, and he thinks it's all and entirely about him. I really hate it.

Tears for Fears -- "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" -- June 8, 1985

I can't hear this song without thinking of this Baldur's Gate fan trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jdd06d2nids. Speaking of which, I am incredibly excited for Baldur's Gate 3. I've been reading the early access reviews on Steam, and anything anyone is saying that's negative is stuff I don't gaf about (except bugs), whereas the positive stuff, I care about deeply. I hope it's got some of the feeling of that trailer. Um, right, Tears for Fears.

Honestly, though, it works best as a Baldur's Gate theme song. I don't think everybody actually wants to rule the world. It sounds good though. And pretty different from other stuff around it. But I like Lorde's cover better, and not just because it fits so wonderfully with all sorts of fantasy stories.

I usually play a paladin or paladin-type the first time in fantasy RPGs, but I'm thinking bard this time.

Bryan Adams -- "Heaven" -- June 22, 1985

He's been with this woman since they were young, and while they've broken up and gone through rough patches, now they're together forever and they're "in heaven." Bryan Adams knew exactly how to write a song that would become a hit. I used to not mind it at all, but it also means nothing to me. The chorus is catchy as hell though. So catchy that I ended up waking up with it in my head and it would not leave for hours and hours, so now I resent this song.

Phil Collins -- "Sussudio" -- July 6, 1985

I refuse to believe anyone ever told Phil Collins he was too young. He was born middle-aged. Anyway, the narrator isn't supposed to be him, so it's fine, but it's still kinda funny. He's got a crush on someone who doesn't even know his name, but "she's all I need all of my life." Um. The music is repetitive, the drums aren't as interesting as Phil Collins at his best, and I don't like the lyrics. I don't hate it, but I don't like it either.

Duran Duran -- "View to a Kill" -- July 13, 1985

I'm not sure I've ever heard this song before. It's about as good a song as the Bond movie they wrote it for was as a movie. In other words, it's bad. I'm not even sure there's a melody. Just a mess. "Ordinary World" would have made a far better Bond theme, but of course that was the 90s, when Duran Duran decided to try to make sense both lyrically and musically.

Paul Young -- "Every Time You Go Away" -- July 27, 1985

I like the high keyboard notes in this. They're sort of haunting. The rest of the song is musically pretty good, too. Lyrically though, it's only passable. This woman keeps leaving him every time "the leading man" shows up, so I guess he's the backup. Why does he keep waiting for her anyway? There's no hint in the song. I'm kind of embarrassed for him.

Tears for Fears -- "Shout" -- August 3, 1985

I think "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" is a better song than this one when done by Lorde. But I think "Shout" is a better song than Tears for Fears' original iteration of "Everybody Wants to Rule the World." The chorus seems clear enough. But the verses are not. "They gave you life/ And in return you gave them hell" makes sense in isolation, but then there's a bunch of stuff that doesn't go with it. Like "I'd really love to break your heart" -- wtf? But the music is really good. 

Huey Lewis and the News -- "The Power of Love" -- August 24, 1985

This was the big song for Back to the Future, and it meshed beautifully with the movie, but it doesn't need that association to be a great song. "Don't need money, don't take fame/ Don't need no credit card to ride this train/ It's strong and it's sudden, it can be cruel sometimes/ But it might just save your life." Yep. It's sort of Motown, sort of rock, and I love it. (Also: "Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream." Heh.)

John Parr -- "St. Elmo's Fire" -- August 24, 1985

Of all the John Hughes movies I have not seen and do not plan to see, St. Elmo's Fire sure is one of them. The song is about a disabled man who inspired people by rolling himself cross-country in his wheelchair for charity, which has absolutely nothing to do with the movie. I'm disabled, and I just... okay look, what he did was admirable. But we shouldn't have to be inspirations to be counted as worthwhile, and I've been told I should die because I can't produce for capitalism, so you know. I've got some personal issues with this and I'm gonna move along.

Dire Straits -- "Money for Nothing" -- September 21, 1985

This is not Dire Straits' best song, but it's an awfully fun one. I watched the video tons when I was a kid. (That sound is Tipper Gore falling to the floor in a dead faint.) The music is great rock. And the lyrics are very true-to-life. You can either sanitize people or present them as they are honestly, and I know which I prefer.

Ready for the World -- "Oh Sheila" -- October 12, 1985

The band's from Michigan. The English accent at the beginning of the song is fake. That's a good preview for the song, which sounds like a 3rd-rate Prince knockoff at best. Blech.

a-ha -- "Take On Me" -- October 19, 1985

The video totally ripped off one of my aunts. Somehow or other, they saw into the little comic she drew for me about someone going into a land of drawings to rescue someone else in a romantic adventure, years before 1985. Anyway, this song is great musically, massively synthesizer heavy without sounding artificial. Though I can only understand maybe a third of the lyrics as he sings them. I've always understood "It's no better to be safe than sorry" though. Yep, at least when it comes to romance, which is what they're singing about here.

Whitney Houston -- "Saving All My Love for You" -- October 26, 1985

It's not better to be safe than sorry, but that doesn't mean it's good to be an absolute idiot in matters of romance either. Nor is it good to be a colossal jerk. That's what the narrator is here -- the "you" she's singing to is married. And he won't leave his wife and children, though he used to say he would. The lyrics seem to say that's she's accepted the situation, but the way Houston sings it, I think the narrator's trying to get him to leave his wife -- and children -- for her still. This makes sense, as it puts some kind of passion and sense of story into the song, which without Houston's singing would not be there. The narrator certainly never acknowledges that what she's doing is wrong in the slightest iota. This song could be done in a way that works. But it's a completely sincere ballad. So, no. I despise the narrator, I despise the man she's singing to more, and the whole thing leaves me feeling gross.

Stevie Wonder -- "Part Time Lover" -- November 2, 1985

No one's thinking anyone's gonna leave anyone in this one. It's about cheating, and the thrill of it, but then at the end, he's found out his wife's cheating on him too. "I guess that two can play the game/ Of part-time lovers." This kind of funk groove is one way you make a song like this. It makes the whole thing sexy and fun, and the lyrics also work even beyond that ending, because they acknowledge it's wrong.

Jon Hammer -- "Miami Vice Theme" -- November 9, 1985

My parents didn't watch Miami Vice. And then I never felt like watching it in re-runs when I got older. I don't recognize this song. It's an energetic instrumental, but there's so much going on, I keep trying to figure out if there's a main musical idea anywhere. Nope. Just lots and lots of synth. Headache-inducing.

Starship -- "We Built This City" -- November 16, 1985

Blech. This song sounds both unfinished and overproduced somehow. The chorus seems designed to be catchy with absolute ruthlessness by people who didn't really care, and no one involved even seems to want to bother to fake it.

Phil Collins & Marilyn Martin -- "Separate Lives" -- November 30, 1985

This is supposed to be heart-wrenchingly sad. Well, it does tank my dopamine, but that's not what a good sad song does. A good sad song makes you feel better. This one makes me need to turn on something high-energy after about 30 seconds, before I sink into bleakness. It's aggressively boring.

Mr. Mister -- "Broken Wings" -- December 7, 1985

This was one of the first songs I recorded from the radio. On my pink tape deck/radio that was a sort of a mini boom box. I've always had my own tape player since I can remember, but that was a definite upgrade from the Sesame Street one. I was 9 then, so getting more seriously into music and developing my own taste intentionally, rather than simply absorbing what was happening around me.

Anyway, the song. It's about a relationship in trouble, and he wants to stay with her. To me it sounds like she has been so seriously hurt (and not by him), that she can't trust anyone, and he's laying himself on the line for her. That has spoken to me deeply ever since I first heard the song as a child. Moving on to the music: While the lyrics are repetitive, the music is not, which is what makes the song so good. It's a beautiful song.

Lionel Richie -- "Say You, Say Me" -- December 21, 1985

I look forward to Lionel Richie no longer being on the charts. This song was on the soundtrack of some movie I've never heard of. I wish I'd never heard of the song. Totally artificial glop.

BEST OF 1985: "Don't You Forget About Me" by Simple Minds  WORST OF 1985: "We Built This City" by Starship

[medea10]

My Review of Fushigi Yugi

[wrestlingisfake]

Fyter Fest preview

This is the second AEW show after May’s Double or Nothing (as well as the proto-AEW show last year, All In).  It’s a collaboration with Alex Jebailey’s CEO esports event for streety-fightery, smashy-brothery video games.  The CEO shows were already built around playing games in a wrestling ring when Jebailey worked with Kenny Omega last year on a New Japan tie-in, and now this year Omega’s with AEW and doing a full-blown special.  The running joke of this show is that Omega is going overboard trying to top himself from last year, and the super-luxury experience he wants is falling apart like the infamous Fyre Festial.

This will stream free in the US on B/R Live, but everyone else has to pay for the iPPV on Fite.tv.

Kenny Omega & Nick Jackson & Matt Jackson vs. Pentagon Jr. & Rey Fenix & Laredo Kid - Nick and Matt are the Young Bucks, and together with Omega they are the original three members of the Elite.  Originally the Lucha Brothers were going to team with PAC, but AEW has decided not to use him as long as Dragon Gate is booking him as an unbeatable champion.  Laredo Kid was apparently picked as a replacement due to a show-stealing performance on a AAA show on June 9 with El Hijo del Vikingo. 

There isn’t much of a story to this match beyond the Young Bucks-Lucha Bros. feud.  Mostly it seems they just want this show to have a hot main event with good wrestling.  That’s not unusual in the indies, but the big US groups typically promote a show around a big main event storyline, so this should be an interesting change of pace.

Omega probably needs a win more than anyone else here, in between losing to Chris Jericho at Double or Nothing and (likely) losing to Jon Moxley at All Out on August 31.  There’s no reason not to let him score the fall here.

Jon Moxley vs. Joey Janella - This is a “non-sanctioned” match, so essentially a sanctioned referee will start the match, count pinfall attempts, and declare a winner, but otherwise there aren’t any rules.  Moxley is the IWGP United States champion, but that title is not at stake here, and probably won’t be acknowledged on AEW events.  This isn’t his first post-WWE match, but it is his first AEW match since dramatically crashing Double or Nothing and declaring his allegiance to this promotion.  They did a quick Being the Elite skit that night where Moxley stole Janella’s cigarette which essentially started this issue.  Janella cut a great promo about how he’d rather get killed in this match than fade into obscurity, and then Moxley did a not-promo where he silently watched Joey’s promo and then began digging a grave in the middle of nowhere.  So yeah, I, uh, I think Moxley’s going to just murder Janella and Janella is fine with that.

Cody Rhodes vs. Darby Allin - Allin kinda resembles Corey Graves if he was British and trying to cosplay as Jimmy Havoc.  They did a whole intro video about him but I didn’t watch much of it.  I think he had rough childhood or something and he’s straight edge or whatever.  I’m not sure if there’s a particular reason he’s fighting Cody except that AEW wants to get him over with their audience and Cody was the biggest name available for this show.  I could imagine Cody winning this match but it would be better all the way around if Allin scored an upset that the announcers can talk about for the next 6-8 months.

Hangman Page vs. MJF vs. Jimmy Havoc vs. Jungle Boy - All four of these men were in a battle royale on May 25; MJF almost outsmarted Page to win, but Page got the better of him and qualified for the first AEW championship match at All Out on August 31.  MJF later confronted Page but was interrupted by Havoc and Jungle Boy, so MJF got punked by all three of them.  In a “Being the Elite” skit, Page asked Nick Jackson for a match with MJF, but Nick screwed up so it turned into this four-way.  I assume this is the kind of four-way where everybody brawls all at once and the first person to score a fall on any opponent wins the match.

You’d expect Page has to win this since he’s chasing the world title, but a loss--particularly to MJF--would help to establish a future world title contender.  But since I don’t really expect Page to win the world title, he probably should win this match to help make up for it.

Christopher Daniels vs. CIMA - Daniels’s team (SCU) defeated Cima’s team (Strong Hearts) at Double or Nothing, so now Cima has asked for this match.  They go way back.  That’s about it.  I didn’t feel like I got a full view of what Cima has to offer AEW in Vegas, so this should be a better showcase for him.  I’m not sure who should/will win, though.

Nyla Rose vs. Yuka Sakazaki vs. Riho - This is a three-way match, so the first woman to pin or submit either opponent wins.  Riho’s team defeated Sakazaki’s team in the joshi trios match at Double or Nothing.  I presume both of them are sticking around as part of Kenny Omega’s big push to feature joshi stars in the women’s division.  But odds are this match is about Nyla playing monster heel and crushing her smaller opponents, since she didn’t really get to do that in the four-way at Double or Nothing.  The only knock I’ve heard about Nyla is that she’s relatively green, so I’m expecting her to get taken out for most of the match, but then she’ll pop up near the end and crush everyone.

Michael Nakazawa vs. Alex Jebailey - This is set for the pre-show.  It’s a hardcore match, which I suppose is different from a non-sanctioned match in that...uh...never mind.  As I understand it, Jebailey trained to wrestle a match at CEO 2018 but tore his Achilles heel, so he ended up just doing a couple of spots with Nakazawa.  A running gag in Being the Elite is that Matt Jackson is quietly furious that Kenny Omega signed a nobody like Nakazawa, so Matt made the match hardcore in the hopes that Jebailey will try to literally murder him.  I suspect the real reason it’s a hardcore match is so Jebailey can just hit Nakazawa with garbage instead of trying to do flips and highspots.  Nakazawa really should win over a non-wrestler, but he is a comedy guy and Kenny seems to really like CEO so I guess they could put over Jebailey if it’s important to them.

Frankie Kazarian & Scorpio Sky vs. Chuck Taylor & Trent Beretta vs. Isiah Kassidy & Marq Quen - This is a scheduled for the pre-show, and it’s a three-way match so whoever scores the first fall over anyone from either team wins the match for his team.  The winners will “advance to All Out for an opportunity at a first round bye” in an upcoming tag team tournament.  So it sounds like you have to win two matches (this one and another at All Out) to earn the right to skip one match in the tournament.  I don’t get it.

Kazarian and Sky are SCU, and Taylor and Beretta are the Best Friends.  Kassidy and Quen are Private Party and the x-factor in the match.  I’ve seen little to nothing about them, and AEW apparently signed them more for their future potential than anything.  The goal is for SCU and the Best Friends to build the match around making Private Party look good while covering for any greenness.  I wouldn’t count on Private Party winning, so it comes down to which of the other teams they want to push hard, and I think the favorite there is SCU.

[our-jensen-ackles-love]

Next To You; 3.

Pairing: Eventual Jensen x Reader, OMC Dom x Reader

Summary: An unexpected death brings them back together, but neither are prepared for the feelings they once had to remerge; especially given the circumstances. Jensen is determined to prove that he will be there for her, even if he hasn’t been in quite some time. Things are bound to get messy, but who said love wasn’t?

Word Count: 1643

Warnings: mentions of physical abuse. 

 KEEP ME UP WITH KO-FI   MASTERLIST  SERIES MASTERLIST  FEEDBACK

3. 

You awoke to clunking and pounding of what sounded like your good frying pans hitting the stove at an aggressive rate. Knowing all too well what you were about to walk into once you decided to get out from under the warmth of the covers, you snuggled yourself in deeper.

“Fucking hell.”

That was the sound of your boyfriend swearing up and down, loud enough that it would probably only be another couple of minutes before Ms. Wilkinson came with her broom pounding on the ceiling. After yesterday, you really didn’t want to deal with any more confrontation; especially when it came to Dom. zzzz. zzzz. zzzz.

Your phone started freaking out on the little end table by your head. Wanting to literally just ignore what your life had become over the last week, you continued to bury yourself in the cocoon of blankets, willing yourself to just disappear for just a day. A day was really all you needed to not have to deal with, well, anything. Especially if it was just someone calling to express their condolences about your grandfather. 

zzzz. zzzz. zzzz. 

Groaning, you stretch an arm towards aggravating little device, bringing it towards your safe space. “Who the hell is texting me this early?” Squinting at the all too bright screen, you saw a number that you didn’t have saved in your contacts. But there wasn’t a preview available for the text, something that you had changed when Dom moved in because god forbid a cousin texted you something about a family event and he would freak out. 

Having to punch in your passcode, you waited for it to register, remembering all too well that you need to go in for that upgrade you had been putting off for six months. 

‘Hey, It’s Jensen - I got your number from Rita. Wanted to know when you would be free for coffee sometime?’

Your blood was buzzing as you reread the words in front of you. The pounding in your ears was beyond deafening, but the startling creak of the bedroom door swinging open had you throwing your phone under your pillow and sitting up to face man you shared a bed with. 

“Good morning beautiful!” His voice was so painfully chipper that it made the finger prints he left on your arm last night throb. 

“Mornin’”

There was a tray in his hands that he place ever so delicately in front of you, followed with by single rose in a random cup of water that he had probably picked from the porch. “I made your favorite pancakes.”

You eyed the food before you, knowing that it was far from what he thought was your favorite, but still appreciating the small gesture he was trying to make. Taking a chance, you asked what you were most curious about, “The ones with the sprinkles?”

“No,” he crossed his arms. “Banana walnut pancakes.”

“Oh, yeah, those ones are good too.”

He sighed, clearly not happy with how you were taking his effort into what he had done for you. “You don’t like it.”

“No, Dom, it’s not -”

In the seconds he had put the little tray down, you found it ripped out of your lap; the rose tipping sideways, taking the glass with it and shattering on the hardwood floor. “No, no. It’s fine - you can just have your sugary cereal like you always do.”

“Dom. I’ll eat the pancakes. I’m just not really in the mood to eat.. especially since I just woke up.”

He just shook his head, the dark brown eyes of his hardening with each tilt of his chin. “Right, right, I just slaved away for the last forty minutes or so to surprise you with a nice little breakfast. But it’s okay.”

You were really not in the mood for this.

“Dom, seriously, just give me the damn pancakes. They smell delicious!”

This time, your boyfriend completely ignored you, walking back out the door that he had literally just strolled through as a completely different man, slamming the door shut behind him. If this had been anyone else, you would have cried at the way that you had hurt his feelings, but today you just felt numb to what happened - probably because it wasn’t the first time he had a fit over something so minor.

Getting only a tad lost in your thoughts about some of the many meals that Dom had made “out of the kindness of his heart,” you momentarily forgot about the unanswered question hiding away under your pillow. Reaching your hand into your remote hiding spot, you listened to make sure there wouldn’t be another unannounced grand entrance.

Quickly you typed out your reply; ‘Can you squeeze me in today? Say a little after eleven?’

You barely had put your phone back down to get yourself ready for the day before there was another hum from your phone. Naturally, you wasted no time reading it this time.

‘Sounds perfect. I’ll meet you at our usual spot.’ 

For the first time all week, you were thrilled to get out of bed. 

—-

The usual spot just happened to be a local coffee shop called Double Shot, that the two of you had frequented throughout high school. It was just down the street from where Pops lived and had some of the best blueberry muffins you could find in the state; if you recalled far enough back they had won some type of award for their muffins, so that should just explain how amazing these bites of heaven were. No questions about it.

You could still recalled how you guys would buy the most sugar filled, blended coffee beverages when you were studying through finals in your senior year. Half the time you guys would get so loopy, you would laugh at how Jensen couldn’t roll his R’s properly when practicing for the Spanish exam.

Walking through the entrance, you were relieved to to see that the place hadn’t changed. The chairs were all still perfectly aligned with their little round tables along the side of the main wall and into random parts of the lobby; where there were big, fluffy, corner chairs that felt like a cloud. You weren’t proud to admit that you may or may not have fallen asleep in said chairs more than once, especially when you had been avoiding going home after a long day at work.

“Over here,” that calming voice rang out against the hustle and bustle of the mid-afternoon rush.

Jensen had perched himself towards the back of the cafe, more in the corner. Something about the way he was tucked away from the rest of the world both scared and excited you. “Jensen.”

He grinned, standing as you approached the little table, seeing that he had already ordered two blueberry muffins and two black cups of coffee. Catching you eyeing the spread, he gave a small chuckle. “Yeah, sorry, I wasn’t quite sure if you took your coffee the same way.”

“No,” you laughed, sitting down and pulling the chair in close enough that your knees brushed under the table. “Everything looks perfect. I, uh, actually drink it black these days, but I will never say no to one of these muffins.”

His grin grew as he followed your actions. Once you both were settled back in to your little piece of privacy did you bring your mug to your lips. While you blew on your coffee, you eyed the man sitting across from you - noticing that he had barely aged since you were seventeen. Sure, he looked older, but in the jaw and maybe even in the creases of his eyes, but everything else about him - especially that smile he always gave you was exactly the same.

“No matter where I go in the world, but nothing ever compares to these babies.”

Laughing, you pulled your own muffin closer to you, chipping off a piece from the top. “Really? That’s saying something since I’m pretty sure you’ve travelled  all over the world at this point.” 

“I see someone has been following my career,” he teased with a raised eyebrow.

You gave him a semi-embarrassed shrug. “I mean, I kinda had to.”

There was a bit of an awkward silence that washed over the two of you. Both of you sipped on your coffee and took a small nibbles from your plates before Jensen cleared his throat. “So, um, Dom.. how long have you guys been together?”

“Oh,” those print marks that were hidden under your jacket starting throbbing again. That constant reminder of your boyfriend even when he wasn’t there. “About two years now.”

“Yeah?”

You nodded. “We met at a Christmas party that one of my co-workers dragged me along too. He made a comment about my ugly sweater, saying that it wasn’t quite up to par and everything just kind of went from there.”

Another lull while Jensen nodded intently like he was really listening to what you had to say, before he leaned forward, his elbows resting on the edge of the table while he eyed you cautiously. “Can I be honest here for a moment?”

“I really doubt if I said no, it would stop you Jay.”

A tight grin teased at the corner of his lips, but the look of carefulness still evident in his eyes. “It’s just.. I feel like Dom isn’t the type of guy that you would end up with.”

While you knew that what he was trying to express was probably something of the utmost concern, it still lit a fire in your belly. With narrowed eyes and gritted teeth, you asked your next question carefully. “And who do you propose that I’m supposed to end up with Jensen? Someone like you?”

He didn’t miss a beat. “Well, yeah.”

Forevers (OPEN): @spnwoman @dramione-winchester-mccall @anotherwaywardsister @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @xalgaliareptx @shayrey @applepielyf @winchesterhound @yourvoiceislikearose @chocolateturtlepeanutopera @alexwinchester23 @emilyshurley @earthtokace @hobby27 @pisces-cutie @babykalika2001 @dean-winchesters-bacon @sweetiepie-dean @supernatural-teamfreewillpage @cheerxupxbuttercupx @itssmallerontheoutside-13​ @aeonian-forever @mirandaaustin93 @queenslandlover-93 @spnbaby-67 @akshi8278 @gh0stgurl

Next To You (OPEN): @fuck-dylanobrien @thewinchesterchronicles @spnskinnyballs @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @jamielea81 @moosekateer13 @gh0stgurl @smoothdogsgirl @closetspngirl @waywardrose13 @the-is13

[datingadviceonreddit]

In the words of Tony Stark in the beginning of Iron Man 3, "Let's track this from the beginning."My online dating tenure was not the worst, not the best, can't even say the needle was even in the middle. There was so many factors that have made me want to write about my experiences and as I was driving to the park today I finally figured out why. To help people. If I can help one man or woman have the courage to walk away, or swipe away as it were the dating apps into their trash container then I've done my job.I have experienced many different situations with probably over four years. Let me break it down before you wonder how old I am or how I look. I'm currently 31 years old, 6'3, athletic, runner, active, full time job, still at home but that was because of the care of my grandmother and I do not regret it for one second. I've always been the type to want a serious relationship and to start a family. I don't do the hook up thing, and yes I actually believe in open communication. Honesty in online dating? I should've known better! Big sports and country music fan as well. Let me stop as I feel like I'm rewriting my online profile!My first real and what I was thought of as the "one" came from Match. It started off very nicely. Her tagging me in Instagram GIFs with a girl jumping into a guys arms, oh and then actually doing just that the next time I came to pick her up. I remember in fact when I caught her I didn't want to let her go because that moment was so special to me. It was my first time being actually happy since my nine year relationship ended a few years ago. She laughed as I held her and said "you can put me down now" I quickly replied "Never babe." We went on a weekend to cape may and had a pretty decent time. I could feel however that something was a miss. Especially when we went to breakfast our last morning on our little getaway and there was hardly any conversation. I remember the exact day and how it went when she ended things. The night before she had stayed over and we had a bonfire. It was just a really good relaxing time together. In the morning I distinctly remember sitting on the top step of the stairs tying my boots and she came walking up the stairs smiling and gave me a big kiss. I smiled to myself, "This is what it's all about." I went to work, it was my sixth day that week and I wanted the hours because she planned a trip to Florida for me to meet her grandparents. I was exhausted after the work day so I came home and just put on the Mets. I remember sending her a text saying " hey we lucked out that deGrom will be pitching the day we go to the game." I got up to grab a bottle of water. I came back to see my phone light up with her name and when I saw the preview of the message it looked lengthy. "I'm sorry I don't think our relationship is going to work out the way you think it is." Just. Like. That. Four months of what I thought was fun and good times, flushed away. I was absolutely broken from that. Maybe even more than the nine year. I hadn't been nor have I been that happy in a long long time.Since oh let's call her Miss A, I have had nothing but a long streak of hope to be completely destroyed every time. It didn't matter if the app was Match, eHarmony, Hinge, Bumble, or Tinder they all came away with short conversations or me being led to believe in someone who wasn't true. Perhaps I gave in too easily and invested too much of myself, but I put myself out there and wanted so hard to believe I found someone special. I lost myself alot of the time. I'm a runner and have been for about five or six years. If I found someone I was really into I would simply stop running and devote my time to phone calls, texts, dates, video chats, whatever I could do to show effort. Even writing about it now it kinda disgusts me. I know I'm better than that and I was always confident in what I bring to the table in any relationship. Hence why I didn't want to give up. Until recently.I had met my most recent date on Hinge. Let's call her Miss B. We both liked to run, marvel movies, sports, same kind of music. It seemed to be going nicely. I was on the app when I had vacationed to California. That's how I met her. I was on vacation so I wasn't really investing my emotions in it and just had a normal conversation. Until she started answering me back so quickly and with awesome answers. We had planned to do tacos and Coronas when I got back. Here's where I should've ended it and had some pride. I was at the airport texting her before my flight was supposed to leave. I suggested us go to a concert at the beach. She then proceeded to tell me she was "already going with the guy she usually goes with." I confirmed that this was going to be a date. Yet she still said she "really wanted to make plans with me and would be totally bummed if I walked away." I ended up cancelling one of my solo runs to go meet her for the first time and go run. She gave me the address to her place and we met there. I thought that was a little forward, but I really liked her so I was excited. We met, ran, talked during the run, and then she invited me into her place because I was going to show her pictures of my trip. Midway through the pictures I went to kiss her and she obliged. It was a pretty intense makeout session. I collected my things and then went home not really thinking too much about it. We proceeded to meet up for runs and even went out socially. A brewery date followed by ice cream and romantic walk on the beach hand in hand. She even bought Met tickets! Here's where things go sideways.I texted her on a Tuesday night because I wanted to see if she was still going to the concert with Mr X let's call him. She confirmed she was still going out. I should've ended it right there because I believe in seeing one person at a time, especially if you're having sex with that person. Regrettably, I went to her place the next day. We ran, we cuddled, we had sex, we watched TV until she had to pick up her son. I had all these thoughts in my head because I knew she was going out that night with someone else, but couldn't get them out to her. I felt like the whole time I was walking on eggshells with her. It was an awful feeling that I'll never forget. I didn't hear much from her like I usually did when I got home that Wednesday. Combine the feelings I already had in my head, feeling like she's ghosting, and the flooding that took place in my house from the heavy rain that day my head was a mess. I texted her the next morning saying exactly how I felt, that she going out with someone else especially after we were intimate really hurt me. That's when I think it hit her that this wasn't going to work. She was going away that weekend and didn't get much reception. Yet Miss B still managed to Instagram message me and still communicate with me. She even texted me immediately when she got reception back. We had plans that Monday after her weekend away to have dinner. She had said "We'll do tacos and Coronas like we talked about." Me being the person I am wanted to surprise her with picking up stuff to make our own ice cream sundaes for dessert. I bought the beer, tortilla chips, dip, and the ice cream groceries. No problem.When I got there I received a very cold greeting. She worked from home so I just laid next to her on her bed watching TV. She asked "Do you wanna go get guac for the chips?" I said sure and as we walked into whole foods together I never felt so distant from someone. It was so weird. We got back and pretty much devoured the chips and dips. She worked until 8, but before that I asked her around 7:30 if we could make dinner together when she was done with work. "That sounds good" replied Miss B. 8 pm came and she claimed she was stuffed from the chips and didn't want dinner. At that point I said to myself Wait. WHAT?! If you invite someone for dinner I think the simple expectation is to have, oh I don't know.. DINNER?! The thing that really got me was that even if she was tired or whatever and didn't want to cook a normal person would've said "hey babe, let's just order a pizza or Chinese tonight. We'll do the tacos another time." Right? Something to that extent. We ended up having sex twice since I slept over and she cuddled up next to me even in the last few minutes before I left for work.Tuesday came and by 5:30 pm she had texted me to say there wasn't a connection and that it was over. I didn't even respond. Why? What could I even say at that point? It hurt me because of the time I invested in trying with her. I really have it a good shot. Only to have a pointless text sent to me when Miss B was with me just a few hours before. She never knew, but I had gotten us reservations to the Porsche Club at Citi Field. It was a complete surprise. We would have dinner with a beautiful view of the ballpark and then go to our seats to enjoy the game. Watching that game was definitely tough because I knew I was supposed to be there and it was Pete Alonso free shirt Friday.Congratulations on following me this far. I understand these are only two lengthy examples, but they are the major events for me that have caused me to FINALLY quit the online dating world. Between messages not responded to, or meaningless conversations, efforts not matched, or just the plain old ghosting I'm simply not cut out to be in that world anymore. Lord knows I've given it my best and I've tried very hard to create a spark that shouldn't have to be created. I've been really focusing on my running and I have a major race in October. Good luck to those still trying, but please if you're thinking about quitting I promise that there is a whole big life out there for you! You are so much more than a swipe left or right. You are valuable and amazing! Believe in yourself and work hard every single day. via /r/dating_advice