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queenjunothegreat · 2 days ago

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Tumblr fix your shit or I swear to god I'm gonna lose it (ㆁᴗㆁ✿)

ANYWAYS!!!!! Here is the link to the long-awaited Hallmark fic! I have been informed that chapter one is sad but I PINKY PROMISE things get better ASAP. Anywho, on with the important shit.

May I present Where the Love Light Gleams Chapter One: When You Pine for the Sunshine of a Friendly Gaze

Jason squeezed his eyes shut. “Okay, fine. We’ll handle it. How do you want to do this? Trying to do everything over the phone is going to be a bigger pain than either of us are willing to deal with.” Thalia went quiet for a moment before she very hesitantly said, “What if we… went back?” Jason’s eyebrows shot up, even if he knew Thalia couldn’t see it. “You mean back to California?” “Sure. I mean, I don’t see why not.” Jason sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. “Look, Thalia, I don’t think you know what you’re signing yourself up for. Wills and estates are a nightmare to deal with and– “We could spend Christmas together.” Jason’s teeth clicked shut at her interruption. Silence hung heavy between them before he broke it. “I don’t like Christmas.” *-*-* After the sudden death of his mother, Jason agrees to travel across the country to spend Christmas with his estranged sister who hates the holiday as much as he does. Things manage to go worse than he could have ever imagined when he finds himself stranded in Oklahoma in the middle of the night, but maybe that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Jason Grace was having a bad day. He’d woken up with a feeling of dread that he couldn’t explain as anything other than mounting dread for the fast-approaching holidays and a desperate desire to do anything other than walk into the office. Things hadn’t gone much better from there, first with him pouring hot coffee all over his hand instead of in his cup and then nearly missing his train and stepping in a mysterious puddle just inside the subway station. Then, of course, he’d had to smile and grimace through all of his coworkers gushing about their Thanksgiving plans for the next day before they noticed him and awkwardly cleared their throats, asking him if he was planning on spending the day with his father. He hadn’t managed to get much of anything done all day, despite the looming deadlines, but he figured he was still more productive than everyone else in his department. But somehow, all of that still didn’t manage to be the shittiest thing that happened to him that day. No, that illustrious title went to a phone call.

Jason sucked his teeth and gripped his phone a little tighter. “So, she’s really dead?”

Thalia clucked her tongue a couple times like she always did when she was uncomfortable. “Yep. Doctor called and let me know this morning.”

Jason heaved a deep, heavy sigh and buried his face in his free hand. “Alright. I’ll call up Octavian. He deals with estates, and he owes me a favor so–”

“No,” Thalia cut him off sharply. “We can handle it. I don’t want lawyers getting involved. I don’t like lawyers.”

Jason took in a quick huff of air through his nose to calm his temper. “I’m a lawyer,” he reminded her in a slightly clipped tone. Had it been a few years earlier, Thalia would have blustered about how obviously he didn’t count, but now she just remained silent. He squeezed his eyes shut. “Okay, fine. We’ll handle it. How do you want to do this? Trying to do everything over the phone is going to be a bigger pain than either of us are willing to deal with.”

Thalia went quiet for a moment before she very hesitantly said, “What if we… went back?”

Jason’s eyebrows shot up, even if he knew Thalia couldn’t see it. “You mean back to California?”

“Sure. I mean, I don’t see why not.”

Jason didn’t bother to tell her exactly why he was so surprised. She didn’t need to know how she’d left a twelve-year-old boy devastated when she’d shouted at their mother that there was nothing in California worth staying for and stormed out the front door for the very last time. It had been fifteen years since that day, but considering he hadn’t been in the same state as his sister in four years, he didn’t really think much had changed.

Jason sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. “Look, Thalia, I don’t think you know what you’re signing yourself up for. Wills and estates are a nightmare to deal with and–

“We could spend Christmas together.”

Jason’s teeth clicked shut at her interruption. Silence hung heavy between them before he broke it. “I don’t like Christmas.”

“That’s because it sucks,” Thalia scoffed. “I can count on one hand the number of not-shitty ones I’ve had, and I don’t remember when the last one was. I think maybe it was the year I turned twenty and we were in Milwaukee for a show.”

Jason remembered his last good Christmas. He was eleven years old and his big sister had given a pair of Superman pajamas that he wore until his mom threw them out years later because she was sick of looking at them in their ratty state. He didn’t tell her that either. “Then why the hell would we do that?”

“I dunno. It’s December,” Thalia said, and Jason could almost see the casual lazy shrug that accompanied the suggestion. “Families celebrate Christmas together.”

“Are we a family?”

The words were out of Jason’s mouth before he could bite his tongue, and he grimaced. “Sorry, I– That was uncalled for.”

“You’re not wrong,” Thalia said quietly. “I don’t know if we even are a family any more, Jason. But we are family, so… maybe we can be a family again?”

Jason frowned down at his desk, brows furrowed deeply. “I– I’ll think about it, okay? I don’t even know if I can get the time off at this short notice.”

“You’re the managing partner’s son,” she pointed out derisively.

“Yeah, well, you’ve met the guy,” Jason pointed out. “Look, I said I’ll think about it, and that’s the best I can promise you right now. I can’t just drop everything and move across the country for a month. I have a real job.” The last bit was an unnecessary dig, but it felt pretty good, so he didn’t take it back.

Surprisingly, Thalia didn’t rise to the bait. She just sighed, and Jason couldn’t help but notice that she sounded tired. “Okay,” she said eventually. “Okay, just… Just think about it. Let me know one way or another. We’ll figure something out if we can’t do this.”

“Okay, I’ll call you back soon,” Jason promised, his tone equally gentle.

She hummed softly. “Jay?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you. I hope you know that.”

Jason squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, unwilling to admit just how much those three words made him want to burst into tears. “Yeah, no, I– I know, Lia. I love you, too.”

“Okay, I’ll, um,” Thalia cut herself off by awkwardly clearing her throat. “I’ll let you get back to your big important lawyer job. Talk to you later. Bye, Jason.”

“Bye, Thalia.”

The line went dead and Jason slumped over on his desk burrowing down into his arms. His mom was dead. It was the day before Thanksgiving, and his mom was dead. He wondered how normal people would feel about that. He was pretty sure he was supposed to be at least a little upset, not feel like an invisible noose had fallen from his neck. It had been months since he’d last talked to her over the phone. It had been years since he’d seen her in person. He remembered trying to surprise her for Mother’s Day the year he’d graduated from law school. He’d shown up on her front door with flowers and a pearl necklace just like the ones in movies she’d always yearned for when he was growing up. She’d answered the door with a scowl on her face, smelling of cigarette smoke and soured whiskey and demanded to know what he wanted from her. Things hadn’t gone much better from there, even when he’d presented his offerings. After that, Jason had moved to New York and never made an effort to go visit her since. Not that she’d exactly made the effort to extend an invitation, either.

He wondered if his father knew she was dead. If he knew, did he care? Doubtful. Thalia had always been more like their father than she wanted to admit. He cut ties and walked out on anyone and anything he deemed less than deserving of his time and attention, just like she did. Which left Jason to be like their mom. Left behind, bitter and hurt and waiting for someone who’d never bother to come back.

He shook his head and stood from his desk. He had briefs that he still needed to write, but he knew he wasn’t going to get any more work done today. He sent a quick message to his department head that he was feeling ill, so he wanted to know if he could head home early. She responded with nothing more than a thumbs up emoji, so he packed his things without a second thought. It wasn’t like he didn’t have the necessary off time built up to skip out a few hours early. Truth be told, he hadn’t taken a vacation in the four years that he’d been working there, so between that and the two week bereavement leave he was due, he could easily arrange to go to California for a month. He just… didn’t want to. He didn’t want to go back to that awful house. He didn’t want to share awkward meals with Thalia while they discussed divvying up their dead mother’s estate. He didn’t want to sit in front of a half-assed fake tree and exchange gifts with Thalia that neither of them gave a shit about.

But he’d have to do something. His mother was dead, and he’d need to do something. But that would just have to wait. That would have to wait until Jason ate enough Chinese food to make himself sick, drank an entire bottle of sauvignon blanc, tortured himself with a marathon of his mother’s favorite movies, and had a good, long crying session. My mother is dead, Jason thought to himself once again as he stepped outside into the cold afternoon.

He marveled at how little that mattered.

*-*-*

Jason was sitting in front of his TV, eating reheated leftovers from the office Thanksgiving party two days earlier as brightly colored floats and balloons rolled across the screen. He hadn’t actually woken up early enough to watch it live, but through the marvels of the modern age, he’d found a channel streaming it all day long. So, naturally, he’d sat himself down to partake in this national tradition that was older than his grandfather.

He hated the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

But, well, he didn’t exactly have any other plans, and this made him feel a little less like a lonely, half-orphaned sad sack. He figured most people in his position would be connecting with family on a day like this, his father lived in New York City as well, after all. And if there was one thing that was certain, it was that his father would be having the finest Thanksgiving party imaginable. He had a large family, a whole Rolodex of important clients, and an image to maintain, after all. Right about now, his penthouse apartment was probably dressed to the nines with a feast fit for kings weighing down his dining table. His whole family would be there.

Except Jason.

The first year Jason had moved to New York and joined his father’s firm, he’d been eager to partake in the festivities. His mom hadn’t really put any kind of effort into holidays after Thalia left home, and he’d been alone for all seven years of college, but this was going to be his big chance. He’d mentioned it to his father after a department meeting, and he’d been told that one of the secretaries would email him the details of the event. The email never came, but Jason had held out hope that maybe it was just a clerical error, and he’d patiently waited for a Christmas invite. Then New Years came and went, and he quit asking. Despite what some people thought, he could take a hint.

Jason shoved another forkful of food into his mouth and grimaced. He hated turkey, and the half-congealed gravy wasn’t helping much. He wondered what his coworkers were doing at that moment. Most of them were probably with their families, though he’d overheard a few of them discussing arrangements for a friendly get-together for those who didn’t have families in town. Jason hadn’t been invited to that, either, because, well, he had family in town, didn’t he? They didn’t need to invite him to Friends-giving.

As much as he wanted to deny it, he was lonely. He didn’t have friends, not really. There were a few people at work who offered him smiles and friendly conversation, and a few people from school who occasionally sent him a message, but nothing else. He didn’t go out, he didn’t take classes. He just came home every day after work and worked until his eyes ached for sleep, went to bed, then woke up and did the same thing the next day.

As he slouched there in his recliner, dwelling on all the ways his life sucked, the camera panned over to some celebrity he couldn't be bothered to remember the name of, standing on the back of a float designed to look like a gingerbread village. She gave the camera a blinding smile while all the various gingerbread people around her waved. Then, the float rolled to a stop and she stepped forward to the microphone. There was the sound of bells and humming before she opened her mouth and began to sing.

I'll be home for Christmas

You can plan on me

Please have snow and mistletoe

And presents by the tree

Jason stared at the TV with something that bordered a little closer to offense than he would have liked to admit. His mind skipped down a handful of streets to that glittering penthouse he wasn’t invited to, and his phone was in his hand and pressed to his ear before he really knew what he was doing. It rang a few times before finally picking up.

“Jason?”

“Hey, Thalia. Yeah, it's me,” he said. He couldn't blame her for being confused. The two of them didn't exactly make a habit of calling one another on holidays. He heard a bunch of background clatter, and his brows knit. “Are you… at a party?”

“No,” Thalia said, a little too quickly. “Well, I mean, not really. Some of the Hunters and I met up at Phoebe's place. That's all.”

“Oh.” Jason sucked his teeth and added another person to his list of people having a better day than him. He dismissed the thought and pressed on. “Hey, were you serious about going out to California?”

“Yes!” Thalia almost shouted the word down the line, then she cleared her throat, obviously embarrassed at her eagerness. “I mean, uh, yeah. I was serious. Do you want to?”

“Sure,” Jason shrugged. “Like you said, getting the time off won't actually be all that hard. How soon can you get there? It's gonna take a while for us to get everything taken care of.”

“Um, how about the sixth? We're doing a show out in Denver on the second, and then we're off until after New Years. Does that work?”

Jason ran through the basic plan he'd outlined in his head. If he knew his mom, she likely didn’t have a will or anything drawn up. That could potentially make things messier, but he doubted he or Thalia would be all that interested in disputing any rulings the court made. He shrugged. “Yeah, that should be fine. Hopefully.”

“Yeah. I, um, yeah.” Jason could hear the big beaming smile Thalia wore when she said her next words. “Thanks, Jason. This really– It means a lot, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” Jason said with a gentle smile. “I love you, Lia.”

“I love you, too, Jay. And, um, happy Thanksgiving.”

“Happy Thanksgiving. See you on the sixth.”

“See you.”

Jason hung up the phone and let out a soft sigh, eyes sparkling. He was going to go home. He was going to see his sister for the first time in years. He was going to celebrate Christmas with his family.

*-*-*

Then he froze, and his face paled in horror. He was going to have to go home. He was going to have to see his sister for the first time in years. He was going to have to celebrate Christmas with his family.

He glowered at the TV and the celebrity lady who was once again smiling and waving at the camera. “This is all your fault.”

Leo Valdez was many, many things. He was a mechanical genius. He was the textbook definition of a plucky orphan. He was an amazing cook. He was the best adopted brother Piper McLean could have ever asked for, and they both knew it. He was smart, he was talented, and above all else, he was incredibly humble.

But at the moment, he was most importantly the only mechanic in Crooked Hollow Bend, Oklahoma, and there wasn’t another one for almost a hundred miles.

He’d been minding his own business, idly flipping through a car magazine when the shop phone went off, which was odd partially because most everyone in town just waltzed right on in when they wanted their car fixed, but mostly because it was well past half the town’s bedtime. Still, he figured that talking to whoever was on the other end of the line would be more entertaining than his magazine, even if they were just a prank caller or a very confused old lady with a very wrong number.

“Valdez Automotive. How can I help you?”

“Hey, Valdez, it’s me.”

Leo narrowed his eyes, trying to place the voice. “Stoll?”

“Yeah.”

“Connor or Travis?”

“If I say Travis, what will you do?”

“Hang up.”

“Oh, good. Then it’s Connor.”

Leo snorted and rolled his eyes. “Alright then. What do you want?”

“You willing to take a look at a car tonight?”

“Why the hell do you need me to look at a car tonight?” Leo asked, gobsmacked. “Can’t you just wait until tomorrow, dude? It’s, like, ten.”

“It’s not for me. Travis and I were driving home when we saw this dude stuck on the side of the road. He’s fine, but his car’s in rough shape.”

Leo’s brow furrowed. “Who is it?”

“No idea. He said he’s driving from New York to California.”

“Hmm…” Leo glanced over at his empty schedule and shrugged. “Yeah, alright. Tell him to limp it in and I’ll take a look at it. He’ll probably have to wait until tomorrow for it to be fixed, though.”

“Yeah, about that. He’s not limping this thing anywhere. Travis and I are gonna be towing it in with our truck.”

Leo let out a low whistle. “Yikes. He’ll definitely have to wait until tomorrow for me to fix it, then. You want me to call Piper? She’s for sure got a room open, but she might have to get it ready.”

It rang a few times before she picked up, her voice thick and gravely with sleep, “You’d better have a damn good reason for calling me at this time of night, I swear to god.”

“Yeah, if you wouldn’t mind. We’ll get this guy’s car hitched up and drag it in. See you in thirty.”

”See you.” With that, Connor hung up, and Leo called Piper.

“Hello to you, too,” Leo scoffed. “And I do have a good reason, thank you very much.”

“Leo, I’ve told you before, finding a chip shaped like a video game character isn’t half as cool as you think it is, and nobody is gonna buy it on Ebay.”

“First of all, fuck you, I could have made bank on that Sonic chip if you hadn’t eaten it,” Leo huffed. “Second of all, I was just calling to let you know that you’re going to be having a guest soon, so you might want to get ready.”

Leo heard Piper shifting around, likely sitting up in bed, finally paying proper attention to him. “What? A guest? Really?”

“Yeah. Connor just called me and said he’s on the way in with some guy from New York whose car broke down. He’ll be stuck in town, and he can’t sleep in his car, so he’s gonna need a place to stay tonight.”

Piper made a soft, sympathetic noise. “Poor guy. I wonder if he was on his way to visit family for Christmas.”

Leo hiked an eyebrow, even if she couldn’t see it, and smirked. “Pipes, it’s, like, the second. I think it might be a little early for Christmas traveling. I know you’re a little freak when it comes to the holidays, but not everyone is.”

“Connor didn’t specifically say he was by himself, but he also didn’t mention anyone.”

Piper blew a very loud, wet-sounding raspberry down the line. “Whatever. I’ll see about getting a room ready. Do you know if he’s traveling alone?”

“Mkay. I’ll get something set up for him. You’re still coming tomorrow, right?”

“Duh. I’m pretty sure you’d skin me if I bailed on you.”

“I for sure would,” she said with syrupy sweetness. “Anyway, gotta go. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Leo hung up the phone and got to his feet, making sure to stretch all of the stiffness out of his arms and legs before he made his way through the kitchen and out to the garage. Running a mechanic’s shop out of his house had its fair share of challenges (expanding the dinky little two-car garage and getting it properly tricked out with everything needed to run a proper garage had been a nightmarish eight months) but it meant he got to just hang out in his livingroom in his pajamas when he wasn’t working, so he figured it was worth the hassle. Besides, he never had more than two cars in the shop at a time, so it’s not like he was exactly pressed for space. He quickly got changed into his coveralls, and started moving stuff out of the way so he could properly work on whatever it was that the Stolls had dragged in.

Not too long after he was done, there was a short honk from outside, and he opened the garage door to see the Stolls sitting in his driveway, a sparkly dark blue Audi tethered to the back of their pickup truck. Leo tipped his head back and groaned, readying himself for a real pain in the ass.

Leo bounded over and put his arms through the open passenger window of the truck and put on his most winning smile and best customer service voice. “Alright, dude. Let’s see what we– Wait a minute.” He scowled at the truck occupants. “What did you two do with the guy?”

“He’s in his car,” Connor (Probably) reported. “We offered to let him ride up here with us, but he said he’d rather stay back there.”

Leo frowned before he shrugged and went to the other car. The guy inside was sitting in the front seat, forehead pressed to the steering wheel. Leo couldn’t see his face (or anything but his broad shoulders and fluffy blonde hair) but he’d recognize that defeated slump anywhere, even on a complete stranger. He cleared his throat, and tapped on the window.

Immediately, everything about the mystery man changed. His spine straightened, his shoulders pulled back, and his chin got a confidently charming tilt to it. The whole display reminded Leo of a marionette being jerked to life with the strings of its puppeteer, and he felt a shiver, unrelated to the cold, go racing down his back. The guy quickly got out of his car, straightening his charcoal peacoat as he went, then offered Leo a polite smile and a handshake. “You must be Leo Valdez. The mechanic?”

“Uh, yeah,” Leo said hesitantly, shaking the man’s hand. “That’s me.”

“Jason Grace,” he said, his smile still perfectly poised and uncomfortably approachable. “Sorry about the late call. Thank you so much for taking the time to see me. I can assure you that I will happily compensate you for the inconvenience.”

“Yeah, dude, it’s no problem.” Leo felt like he’d been spun around one too many times. There weren’t a lot of people in town who made the effort to talk with that level of detached professionalism, and even fewer who bothered to do it with Leo. He shook his head and gave Jason a blinding smile. “Alright, dude, let’s see what we’re working with.” Jason blinked at him for a moment and Leo just arched his eyebrows. “Do you maybe wanna try starting it?”

Jason jolted like he’d been hit with a taser before his cheeks went pink. “Right. Yeah. I can do that.” He sat back down in the driver’s seat and pressed the ignition button. The car revved to life in an instant, then immediately started making the most awful grinding sound Leo had ever heard. Before he could clap his hands over his ears or make any kind of signal to kill the engine, Jason turned the car back off with a wince. “And that’s what made me decide to pull over.”

“Yeah, I can see why you were stuck,” Leo agreed with a nod. “Alright, I’ll see about getting you unhitched while you get your stuff out of the trunk. I’m not gonna be able to fix this until tomorrow, and you’re gonna need a place to stay for the night.

Without waiting for a reply, Leo started unhitching Jason’s car from the truck. When he was done, he trotted back up to the front to hand over the straps they’d tied up Jason’s car with, which Travis (Probably) tossed in the back seat before looking at Leo eyebrow hiked up near his hairline. “You think you can fix it?”

Connor (Probably) snorted and grinned. “Good luck, man.”

“Obviously,” he scoffed. Then he winced. “It’s definitely not going to be easy, though. Sounds like a transmission issue. I hate transmissions. And Audis. I don’t know who designed them like that, but they need to be shot. Twice. Or more. I’ll tell you when I finish dealing with the transmission.”

“Thanks. Lemme know if you guys find any more lost travelers, yeah?”

“You got it. See you.”

“See you.” Leo waved at the Stolls as they drove away before he turned back to Jason. He was once again in that same miserable slump he’d been in before, this time leaning against the car. Leo bit his lip and gently said, “Hey, man. You alright?”

“Well, I haven’t slept in over thirty-six hours, I’m stranded in an unfamiliar town because my car decided to break down in the middle of nowhere, and my mom’s dead, so I decided to drive across the country to divvy up her estate with my sister who I haven’t seen in years while we both try to pretend that we don’t hate Christmas, but other than that I’m just great,” Jason snapped. Leo sucked his teeth for just a moment before Jason stiffened and turned to Leo with a horrified expression. “I’m so sorry. That was wildly inappropriate.”

Leo gave him a half-hearted smile. “It’s cool, man. It does sound like you need some sleep though.”

“Yes. Please,” Jason agreed, rubbing a hand over his face. “One of the gentlemen from before mentioned something about a hotel?”

“Well, I wouldn’t go so far as to call the Stolls gentlemen, but they were right about there being a place in town for you to stay,” Leo grinned. “Come on, I’ll give you a lift.”

#valgrace #my writing #pjo fanfic

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starryhyuck · 17 hours ago

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toxic till the end. (m) — PATREON EXCLUSIVE

pairing: ex!yuta x afab!reader

words: 7.3k+

summary: a new year sparks new goals and resolutions. yours is to avoid nakamoto yuta.

genre: angst, smut

warnings: public sex, creampie, unhealthy relationship dynamics, jealous!yuta, pussy eating, fingering, squirting

this fic is exclusive to the $5 tier on my patreon, which you can access here! below is a tumblr preview

Skiing really isn’t your thing.

For some reason, Jeonghan is determined to make it your thing, whether you approve or not. You don’t particularly trust him when it comes to safety, as he normally has this evil glint in his eye that tells you he has other intentions.

“Just trust me,” he chortles in your ear, holding your elbows tightly. “Do you honestly think I’d let you fall?”

“Yes,” you say without skipping a beat. Every exposed part of your skin is covered in a long fleece or a heavy padded jacket, making you feel a little stiff trying to walk around. It only increases your nerves when you stare down the hill, eyeing the steep slope you’re meant to ski down. “Hannie, I’m really not sure about this.”

“That’s because you’re not trusting me,” he replies, but it doesn’t assure you in the slightest.

“Maybe we should find one of the bunny slopes instead?” You suggest timidly.

A hoarse voice interrupts you as Yuta approaches, his feet already bound into his skis. “I’ll handle this,” he says, removing Jeonghan’s grip from you and replacing it with his own hands.

“No, you won’t,” you murmur, ripping your arms away from him with a glare. “Jeonghan’s teaching me just fine.”

“You were afraid of him pushing you down the slope not even five seconds ago,” Yuta hisses in an accusatory tone. He’s just as bundled up as you with a helmet strapped firmly over his head.

You know Yuta’s naturally a better skier than Jeonghan, having practiced during many holiday trips with his family. However, the stubborn part of you refuses to let him anywhere near you. You haven’t spoken to each other since your quickie in the hallway, with you mainly avoiding him while he tries to corner you at every chance.

Jeonghan’s eyes flicker between you, eyebrows raised. “I’m going to see if Taeyong needs help,” he states awkwardly, but you hold up a hand to stop him.

“Hannie, it’s fine. I want to learn from you,” you emphasize, hoping it’ll be enough to ward off your ex.

Yuta doesn’t budge. “She doesn’t know what she wants, Jeonghan.”

“That’s rich coming from you.”

Jeonghan skis down the slope before you can further protest, effectively escaping the conversation. You watch him with your jaw hung open, shocked that he would leave you so easily. Yuta smirks, grabbing your elbows again to steady you.

“Looks like you’re stuck with me,” he declares proudly, grinning like he’s won the lottery. “Unless you want me to leave you up here all alone?”

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” you remark, and he clenches his jaw at the snide comment. He helps you click your boots into the bindings of your skis, moving to stand behind you while you stiffen up.

“Relax, will you? I’m not going to try anything out here, it’s practically below freezing,” he says, scoffing at your behavior. “Now you need to bend your knees and lean forward slightly. If you get scared, remember not to lean backward. It can cause you to lose your balance and drift off course.”

“I don’t want to do this, Yuta,” you confess, voice trembling slightly. Fear seeps deep into your bones the longer you look out into the distance. A harrowing feeling stirs in your stomach, painting a bad omen in your head.

He frowns at your vulnerable tone, sliding back in front of you and staring at your terrified expression. “Then we won’t do it,” he states, unclasping your boots while you step out of the skis. He rids himself of his own skis, analyzing you with a tilt of his head. “Why would you let Jeonghan drag you all the way up here if you were so scared?”

“He really wanted to teach me,” you mumble, embarrassed by the fact that you chickened out. You deflect his questioning gaze. “I thought I would feel a rush when I finally got up here, but it just made me feel worse.”

You walk back down the hill together in silence with your skis tucked underneath your arm. You’re a little hesitant on starting the conversation, knowing it would lead to a fight or messy sex. With Yuta, it always ended up that way.

“Are you into Jeonghan?”

The question has your brain short circuiting for a hot moment, confused by how he came to such a conclusion. He takes your brief pause as confirmation, speaking before you can defend yourself.

“I just wanted you to know I’m pretty sure he’s crushing on Cheol and wants to initiate some form of polygamous relationship with Sojung. So I wouldn’t get your hopes up,” he says nonchalantly, watching his boots crunch the snow underneath him.

You recognize the signs of Yuta’s jealousy, having been on the receiving end of his envious streak numerous times. It mainly led to confrontations about his issues with trust, which you didn’t know at the time would become the first tipping domino in your relationship.

“I don’t like him in that way. Does it matter to you if I did?”

You’re picking a fight when you know you shouldn’t, but the lingering question nags in the back of your head. He takes your bait, instinctively holding your elbow to steady you as you slowly tiptoe down the slope.

“Of course it matters to me,” he grumbles. “You know how I feel about you.”

You shrug yourself away from his grasp, frowning at his statement. “That I’m just a good fuck who you like to start fights with?”

He looks at you with a befuddled expression. “What? When did I ever say that?”

“When do you ever say how you feel about me? I can’t read your mind, Yuta. You always think I can sense how you’re feeling but I can’t. You never let me in, never tell me if you love me, never bother speaking a sentence to me unless you’re trying to get inside me. How else am I supposed to guess how you feel?”

He opens his mouth to respond but is suddenly knocked over by a gust of wind, causing him to topple into you. You gasp when you fall over, your skis flying to the ground as you two roll down the hill. The world moves in a blur around your vision until you find yourself at the bottom of the slope, limbs aching from the onslaught of pressure. The snow hails down harder over you and you blink slowly, trying to recover.

Yuta rushes over to you, cursing under his breath as he unclips your helmet, holding your face delicately in his hands. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. Are you okay?” He asks frantically, scanning you for any visible bruises. He looks up as the wind nips harder against his face. “We need to get somewhere safe. I think there’s going to be a blizzard coming soon.”

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#nct smut #nct x reader #yuta smut #yuta

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tyrantisterror · 14 hours ago

Text

You're welcome! Thank you for being such a willing participant in the interactive side of this story!

And yeah I'll gladly answer some more questions.

So, as I said above, I realized in the process of writing the story that, from a narrative and thematic perspective, this story could not give Sailor a clear and definitive answer to what they are. Even in the ending where they chose to go back to the normal world, we get an answer that convinces Sailor, but still clearly has some holes to the audience. I think there are ways we could have skewed certain conversations to learn more about the hypothetical answers in-story, but it would have come at the cost of key moments of character development for Sailor and Calibani. And I also think it's possible we could have skewed the story in such a direction where giving a definitive answer to the question wouldn't have necessarily hurt the theme of the story, by dint of turning the story into a different theme entirely - a South-heavy story might have focused on Sailor confronting their own inherent selfishness and short-sightedness rather than questions of their identity, for example, while a West-heavy story might have been a more dense and wacky adventure full of foolhardiness where learning who/what Sailor is could happen quickly and definitively without fanfare in order to be pushed aside for more shenanigans. 58 choices - there's a lot of potential what-ifs here.

There would be no way to contact Earth in the story as told, no, just as there wouldn't be a map till the very end. But, like, Sailor is canonically living longer than just the nine or so days the story covers, the Sea of Monsters is big, and Sailor knows a mad scientist. It's possible Sailor finds a way to get a message back to earth at some point - but I guess we'll have to save that for a hypothetical At Sea Without a Map 2: Now With Map!

I generally tried to vote either for the answer I thought would get the most votes, or the one that would get the least, in hopes of not actually affecting the result too much (unfortunately tumblr doesn't let you see the results before the poll ends unless you vote, and for the sake of keeping to a more-or-less daily schedule, I kinda needed to keep an eye on it to know what I'd need to draw during my downtime moments). I think the TT-only version of At Sea Without a Map would have been pretty similar to what we got. We might have spent a bit less time with Calibani and bit more time getting into monster hijinks and drawing exposition about the setting from characters like Dr. Neptune, but otherwise it would have been pretty similar. I had more fun with the player-choices that contradicted my own instincts, though - it was fun being given free reign to just shoot the shit with love interest while ignoring the plot. Very indulgent I do wonder if Sailor might have turned out differently, though - I was very conscious of trying not to flavor things too heavily when Sailor was in my control in the narrative, i.e. when they had to make choices without a compass to set them in a direction. I didn't really start giving Sailor personality in-text until I got a feel for what we were turning them into together, and even then I always felt nervous about it - I never wanted it to feel like I was forcing you all to play a character that wasn't authentic to what you were choosing. This wouldn't be a problem if Sailor was just written by me and me alone, so they might have become something different by dint of me not having to worry about alienating voters with their actions.

At Sea Without a Map Post-Script

After two months of so, my little writing experiment At Sea Without a Map has come to an end. And because I'm vain, I not only felt compelled to share it, but to talk about it in depth after the fact, so here we are. This is going to be long, though, so I'm not only going to break it into sections, but put it all under the cut for the sake of your dashboard. So go ahead and dive into the depths of the Sea of Monsters with me one more time!

Part 1: Never Stop Blowing Up

The writing process of Wizard School Mysteries Book 3 was really strained - not because of the book itself, mind you. When I was actually able to work on it, Book 3 came together really well - I think it required the least substantial rewrites of any my novels thus far. It's just that real life was kind of beating the shit out of me while I was trying to get it done - or maybe the better metaphor was that it was just slowly but steadily draining me of energy all the time. I'm honestly surprised I got the book out in roughly the same amount of time as the first two - by the way life had been treating me, it should have taken longer.

But when I got done with it I was accutely aware of how tired I was. I still had the creative drive, but fuck I needed something simple as a palette cleanser - something easy, and more importantly, something that was allowed to be bad. I needed something creative to do that was surplus to requirements and fully within its rights to suck ass so long as I had fun making it.

Around this time, I decided to rewatch Dimension 20's Never Stop Blowing Up. Brief explanation of what that is: Dimension 20 is an actual play show, i.e. a recording of people playing D&D and other TTRPGs. I'd say its reputation is built on the contrast of its main DM, Brennan Lee Mulligan, who makes these meticulously crafted campaign plans, and his chaotic band of improv comedian players who promptly derail those plans spectacularly. Like, a good deal of the show's humor comes from Emily Ashford or Ally Beardsly doing something so off-the-wall that it shatters whatever the scene was going to be and creates a far more absurd and zany spectacle in its place. Which is why Never Stop Blowing Up is pretty notable, because it's the one campaign where Brennan himself is the agent of chaos, fully unleashing his own brand of madness that the players struggle to keep up with. And fuck does he seem to have fun with it.

Of course, all of the analysis above is purely from the outside looking in - it's likely that a lot of the "chaos" is played up for the audience. But still... there is something to the idea of a person who's been working on meticulously structured stories letting loose and just doing something extremely stupid.

So I decided to give myself a Never Stop Blowing Up moment - a short story that would be simple by design, with no standards to live up to or goal beyond "have fun telling a silly little story." I then came up with a few key criteria:

It can't be set in the Midgaheim/ATOM universe. I don't want the burden of figuring out where this story would fit among others.

It's gotta be a romance. People who've read my books might have picked up on the fact that I like to write about people falling in love, for the same reason I like to write about fire-breathing reptiles and friendly monsters (i.e. I use writing to indulge in things I'll never experience in real life). I've only used romance as subplots in my fiction before, and tend to feel a bit guilty if I focus on it too long - like I'm being self indulgent. Well, this is all about self indulgence, so the romance should be front and center.

It's gotta be SIMPLE, episodic even. Not complex plotting required.

I almost chose my xenomorph romance for this, but I had developed its outline to the point where it would be too complex to fit. I then considered a sort of superhero story that could be pitched as "what if Bringing Up Baby but Katherine Hepburn's character is a Harley Quinn-esque supervillain and Cary Grant's character gets turned into some sort of horrifying genetic mutant in the first ten minutes." That one hit a weird roadblock when I got to the character brainstorming phase (the first phase of any writing project I do) - I was trying to figure out what the mad scientist who turns out Cary Grant-figure into a mutant would be named, came up with the name "Dr. Skullfuck," immediately realized that having a character named "Dr. Skullfuck" is a Mark Millar-ass writing move that I could not allow myself to do, but then couldn't stop thinking of the name "Dr. Skullfuck" and giggling, which just brought all thinking to a grinding halt on that project.

(I'll still probably do it someday, though - just, you know, without Dr. Skullfuck)

Inspiration struck again, though. I'd been getting into Epic: The Musical, a musical retelling of The Odyssey, and it put me in the mood for a sea monster story. But, more than that, it got me thinking about one particular archetype from sea monster stories - but that brings us to the next part of this Post Script...

Part 2: It Was Always About Calibani

Ok, so, one of the big changes Epic: The Musical made involved Odysseus's encounter with the sirens, and before you read more of my rambling, I'd like you to watch two animatics for the two songs in question here:

youtube

A summary: one of the sirens takes the form of Odysseus's wife to try and tempt him into getting in the water, Odysseus tricks her into giving him directions, captures her and the rest of her kind, and proceeds to have his men slaughter them horribly. In the OG story the sirens don't die - nor does their song involve imitating a man's wife, for that matter, it's just a really pretty song.

This is done for an important narrative purpose - Epic: The Musical is focused on analyzing the moral ambiguity of Odysseus, and how it is constantly challenged by the impossible choices he is forced to make in his attempt to get home. At this point in the musical, Odysseus has decided to stop trying to be a compassionate man, shirking all mercy in favor of utter ruthless pursuit of his goals. These two songs are meant to be unsettling as hell - this is the beginning of a series of heartless choices by both Odysseus and his men that will culminate in the mutiny and complete annihilation of Odysseus's crew, as well as Odysseus himself being so hopelessly stranded that nothing short of divine intervention will save him.

I bring this up because when I first heard these two songs - specifically while watching these two animatics - it, like... it devastated me. I was so horrified and sad, so shaken by it. And part of it was for the reasons outlined above, but admittedly that wasn't the gut reaction I had. No, my immediate reaction was, and I quoute my own broken brain verbatim here: "You can't kill the sirens! They're not for killing, they're for loving!"

...now, those of you who know me are probably not surprised by this very stupid sentiment coming from me. One of my more popular posts is just me talking about how down bad I would be for various folkloric monsters whose whole shtick is "looks like a pretty lady but Watch Out." But as a person filled with immense self loathing and doubt, my brain immediately looked at that very stupid sentiment I expressed and said, "Wait, no, that's fucking dumb, I'm fucking dumb. The sirens are remorseless murderers. These sirens in particular preyed upon a man's love for his wife, who he has not seen in twelve years, to convince him to let them kill him. They are, by all standards of morality, Very Fucking Evil, and if they were not women you would not feel bad about them getting killed."

And as my brain argued with itself over this topic, I got to thinking about the various monstrous/othered sea women of The Odyssey - not just the sirens, but the witch Circe, the nymph Calypso, the monsters Scylla and Charybdis. And I thought about the others of their kind in other myths and folktales - selkies, mermaids, etc.

There's an archetype of sea monster that focuses entirely on one specific anxiety sailors are prone to, namely the fact that (for a good deal of human history) being on a boat meant spending a lot of time away from women. The horror of this monster is how it uses that desire for female company to tempt people into danger - like a mirage, it leads you to expose yourself to danger in pursuit of an illusory comfort.

But, unlike real world mirages, these monstrous sea women DO exist in their stories. More than that, they're often, like, sad and lonely. Their narrative purpose is just to be a temptation, but that doesn't change the fact that they do have lives of their own in these worlds. And, softie that I am, I can't help feeling sad for them, especially the ones who actually seem to want the same companionship the sailors they tempt want. Sailors don't stay with their Circes, they don't marry their Calypsos. The sirens live on a barren rock, alone, Scylla is left to wallow in misery at her monstrous form, and the selkie always has to leave for fear of being trapped by a person who won't love her on her terms.

I realized I had my hook for this simple, easy, silly little sea monster romance story: I was going to give a sea woman the happy ending she'd never get from anyone else.

Sailor may be the protagonist, but make no mistake: At Sea Without a Map was always, always, ALWAYS about Calibani.

The goal with Calibani was simple: I was going to set up a fairly standard Monstrous Sea Woman, but where other stories would let her be in one episode of the travel narrative and move on, this one would stick around. She'd be an unambiguous predator of human beings - an open and admitted maneater - but she would have no true malice to her. She, like all predators, eats what she can get to survive, and it just so happens that she's adapted to eat humans. And the story would pose the same question to the reader that my brain posed to me during Different Beast: is there any way you could make a siren-style sea monster sympathetic? Can you make a normal person who doesn't have my particular brain rot look at a maneating siren and think, "You're not supposed to kill her, you're supposed to love her!"

One of the few unavoidable plot points of At Sea Without a Map was that Calibani and Sailor's relationship would become romantic. What kind of romance it was could have varied substantially - it could have been one-sided, it could have been toxic, it could have been far more tragic OR far more comedic. But it was always, always going to be a romance of some sort - the goal of this experiment was to make you, the reader, love Calibani. All else was icing on the cake.

I decided to base Calibani's personality on Miranda from The Tempest - i.e. a sweet girl who is both wordly and naive, who understands the strange setting of our "lost at sea" story far better than the audience viewpoint character does, but views the mundane world of the audience viewpoint character with wonder and naiveté. In fact I almost named her Miranda outright... except I already had a character in the setting I chose for this story who had that name, and as an allusion to the same Shakespearean character no less. So I settled on naming her after Miranda's adoptive sibling (of sorts), Caliban - more fitting in some ways, as Caliban is a fish-human hybrid who is arguable more native to the magic island in The Tempest than Miranda herself.

(Calibani isn't the only Tempest name homage, either - her mother, Sycorax, takes her name directly from Caliban's unseen but oft-spoken of witch mother. Dr. Antonia Warefore takes her first name from Antonio, one of the human villains in The Tempest who hopes to use being lost at sea as a way to perform a coup. And the mothman Iriel takes her name from Ariel, the wind spirit in The Tempest who aids the wizard Prospero in controlling the magic island. If Sailor has a "real" name, it's probably either Ferdinand or Miranda, the two lovers who manage to blend civilization and the wilderness together with their romance.)

Visually, I wanted Calibani to not be any common archetype of sea monster woman, but rather something that evokes the popular images while still being her own thing. She's not a mermaid or a siren or a selkie - she's basically "what if a sea serpent was also a girl." In-universe, she's chubby because she, like all marine megafauna, needs blubber to survive. Out-of-universe, she's chubby because I've found that routinely drawing cute chubby girls is good for my mental health.

Part 3: CYOA

Now, while we live in a post-Muncher society where shame and cringe are emotions only the cowardly should experience, I am nonetheless Very Catholic about expressing my own feelings of, like, liking girls and shit. I cannot help feeling guilty when publicly expressing adoration of women without, like, an excuse - it's gotta be a joke or something, you know? I can't be genuine about it, or else Jesus will beat me with a cane for disrespecting women with my lecherous gaze.

But luckily I've cultivated a loyal audience of fellow monsterfuckers, which meant I had an excuse lined up: if I made this a choose your own adventure type deal, a story with audience participation, then you all would be my accomplices. And Jesus can't cane all of us! He doesn't have enough hands! I found a loophole bigger than his stigmata!

Plus I love collaborative story-telling - there's a thrill in not having total control of where the narrative is going. As Brennan Lee Mulligan must know, there's a joy in having to deal with the chaos thrown your way by letting others grab the figurative ball, even if just for a moment.

Part 4: Offbeat Melody

Since I did not want to set this story in Midgaheim, I decided to steer myself away from a vaguely medieval setting altogether. But I also didn't want to limit myself with the need for "realism" that putting it in a normal sea would require, and making a new setting whole cloth would start pushing this project into "not easy" territory.

Luckily, I had a setting lying around that I hadn't played with in a while, which just so happened to have a location that was PERFECT for the sort of Never Stop Blowing Up style madness I was aiming for. For a few years I ran a Monster of the Week TTRPG campaign called Offbeat Melody, and one of its core setting elements was taking the goblin universe hypothesis in paranormal science (yeah it's a real hypothesis) to an illogical extreme. We had specifically seen glimpses of the Sea of Monsters in Offbeat Melody, i.e. the parallel universe where monsters like Nessie, Ogopogo, Champ, and the like all hail from. Well, why not have a whole story set there? It's literally a universe devoted solely to creating sea monsters - what better place to strand our modern Odysseus?

Offbeat Melody was always sort of a Never Stop Blowing Up project, or at least NSBU adjacent. Some of my most unhinged story-telling moments are in that campaign - you could make a supercut of just the "commercial breaks" in the various sessions and it'd basically be an I Think You Should Leave episode. Taking one obscure corner of its multiversal world and exploring it in detail was perfect for this project.

Part 5: Monster by Monster

With our main romance as sorted out as could be for a CYOA story, it was time to figure out the "episodes" of this sea voyage. I settled on there being ten to roughly align with The Odyssey - just in terms of number, mind you, not in a one-to-one comparison. The first was, obviously, Calibani herself, which left nine more slots for me to fill with monsters. Let's go through them together in brief:

Tree Storks - any lost at sea story eventually has to get its protagonist into an island at some point, but this immediately begs the question, "Why don't they just stay on the island where it's safe?" The answer to that question has to be, "it's not safe there, actually." The Odyssey does this quickly and cleverly with a one two punch: the first island seems safe until you realize the food on it brainwashes you into forgetting everything except your desire to eat it, and the second island is full of delicious sheep but also giants who will eat you just as easily as they eat the sheep. When other islands show up in the story later, you immediately regard them with suspicion, because you don't know HOW they're going to be fucked up, but they definitely will be. My goal with the second episode was to establish the same sort of danger - that land is NOT safe, that islands WILL be fucked up and dangerous in ways you might not expect.

I also wanted to establish that this is not just a sea of monsters, but a very WEIRD sea of WEIRD monsters. It couldn't be any old monster on this island - it had to be one that was unique, unexpected, and maybe just a bit silly while still being menacing.

I've always felt that there's a lot of un-mined horror potential in storks, cranes, and herons - any bird with a long neck and spear-like beak it uses to stab smaller creatures from above. Just imagine yourself in a frog's place in the world - tiny, going about your business, when suddenly something shoots down at you from above and impales you before you even feel the shadow fall over your face. Or perhaps you did see the shadow - some of these birds spread their wings to create shade specifically to attract fish, and then spear the poor little bastards.

Well, what do people often look to islands for when out at sea? Shade - the shade of a palm tree. And palm fronds kinda resemble feathers, don't they? Wouldn't it be both ludicrous and terrifying is there was a stork big enough to mimic a palm tree - and wouldn't that be a DEVIOUS trap for a sun-drenched sailor to fall for? So the Tree Storks were born.

The Globster - I made a list of sea monster archetypes in the early planning for this project, and one I wanted to include was a kraken, i.e. some sort of tentacled sea beast. But I didn't want to do JUST a big squid or octopus, or even a riff on them. I wanted to take the idea of "big sea monster with lots of tentacles" into a stranger direction.

Since the Sea of Monsters is explicitly the home universe of lake and sea monster cryptids, I thought it might be fun if ASWaM's kraken equivalent was a globster - just a big ball of rotten meat. I love drawing monstrous faces, so I decided it'd just be, like, MADE of hideous rotten faces, all melting and congealing together, with its tentacles doubling as the tongues of its many mouths. A perfectly wretched image that, like the Tree Storks, would do well to establish how Fucked things could get in this setting. Plus similar monsters had appeared in Offbeat Melody, which would make for a fun sense of familiarity for the, like, five or so readers of mine who had listened to that campaign before.

Captain Peter & the Dolphin - Another thing I did in the early planning stages of this project was make a list of the different sea voyage stories I know and love, the most contentious of which is The Life of Pi. That's a story that I love on a literal level but kind of hate on a figurative level - its whole theme/message is that doubt is the worst thing you can have, that if you don't commit to believing something with zealous conviction you are a coward. As a person who thinks doubt is valid, that "I don't know" is sometimes the ONLY truly valid answer to a question, I have issues with that message.

But I can't help loving the beautifully ludicrous idea of a non-anthropomorphic tiger sailing the ocean on a big Odyssey of its own. Like, if that story didn't actively hate me for being agnostic, it would be one of my favorites.

So I decided to, you know, just steal the idea of a tiger Odysseus. The tiger in The Life of Pi is named Richard Parker. Richard Parker also happens to be the name of Peter Parker's dad. Hence we get Captain Peter - the figurative son of Richard Parker, if you will. And to ratchet up the absurdity of a tiger Odysseus, I made him a pirate and the sole sailor of his voyage. Somehow, this tiger has manned a boat on his own.

Captain Peter was intended to be the hero of another story - a sign for the readers that it IS possible for a stranded person (or, in this case, tiger) to survive out here. To that end, he had to rescue our heroes from another threat, but not one that would be interesting enough to take the focus off of the tiger pirate. Originally I planned for that threat to just be a big shark, but I ended up liking my shark design too much to put it in a role that small, so I quickly designed a nasty dolphin for the role instead. I think that worked out well, honestly.

Dr. Neptune - Episodes 5 and 6 were the mid-point of this journey, so I wanted the two monsters of those to escalate things significantly. I figured episode 5 was probably a good place to FINALLY give some meaningful exposition on what was going on, and there are a lot of stories about mad scientists doing weird shit on islands in my big list of sea voyage stories I love. So we get Dr. Neptune, a classical brain-in-a-jar mad scientist who's affable enough to give more-or-less accurate exposition but loony enough to be a problem. This also felt like a good spot to remind the reader that Calibani is not just a girl with a tail but rather a Sea Monster herself, and one that we'd been making stronger by allying with.

With his human-but-not-quite nature and cyclops eye, Dr. Neptune could sort of be seen as the Polyphemus of this story, couldn't he?

The Crocodisle - One of the sea monster archetypes on my list was "the island that's actually a sleeping monster," of which there are many in mythology and folklore. My favorite is the Jasconius from the voyage of St. Brendan, mainly because it's more or less benign and actually comes back to help St. Brendan and his crew at the end of the story. I always love when I can find an old story with a friendly monster in it.

When thinking of my own spin on the island monster concept, I remembered the only Magic the Gathering card I had as a kid, which I still have and love to this day: The Sandbar Crocodile. This card already inspired Crocogon's color scheme in The Atomic time of Monsters, but I felt I could go to that well again one more time, and so made a crocodile that wasn't just a sandbar, but a whole damn island to itself. And, like Jasconius, it turns out he's pretty chill.

I did not think of the pun name "Crocodisle" until I was actually writing the chapter in question.

The Femdom Mermaids - These three were a late addition to the roster. When I had Calibani bring up mermaids early in the story, I realized as soon as I wrote her rant about them that we'd HAVE to meet some later on in the story.

The readers had significantly shaped Calibani and Sailor's romance by this point, and I decided that it could be useful to have a chapter that was devoted to showing definitively how these two were good for each other. I thought the mermaids could provide a good contrast: have them act out a seemingly more benign take on the monstrous sea women trope (they abduct our hero to protect and care for them!) only for it to quickly feel MORE deranged than Calibani's comparatively simple desire just to eat him.

The spirit of Calibani's rant about mermaids was taken from weird* girls I knew in high school complaining about cheerleaders, so I wanted the mermaids to look like the sea monster equivalent of popular kids to Calibani's chubby weird girl. Two of them got the names of famous beauties - Helyne = Helen of Troy, Clio = Cleopatra.

(*when I say "weird" I mean it in a complimentary and affectionate sense)

Bob, meanwhile, kinda... rebelled, I guess? Before I had names for them, I listed "bob" by her as just, like, a descriptor for her hair cut, but then I liked it as her name, and once she was named Bob she became more than just a mean popular girl. She was a weirdo too, the little punching bag of the two mean popular girls who did their dirty work and smiled through their abuse because hey, at least they included her. It gave the trio an easily defined dynamic, helped make two of the three more visibly nasty, and gave us comic relief in an arc that could very well have gotten too uncomfortable otherwise.

And I guess it worked - readers REALLY loved Bob, and were very vocal about it, and I realized mid-arc that I had accidentally made her too likable to just leave in this arc. So Bob got to be rescued from her awful friend group thanks to readers like YOU.

Lord Ironteeth - yeah, this was the shark that was too cool to be a minor threat. When I drew his noggin, I realized he would need a chapter of his own, one with gravitas. I decided he'd specifically be the threshold guardian -once we beat him, we'd know for sure how to get home, even if there were a few more threats in store.

Spindle Inc and Sycorax - when I was a kid I used to have this recurring nightmare about being on some sort of underwater sea station that had this huge sea serpent trapped inside it. I'd look at the sea serpent from a window within the station and see it coiling in its tank, only for it to look at me with fury. In that glance I would suddenly realize two things with absolute clarity: first, it was going to break free and kill everyone, and second, we deserved that destruction for what we had done to it. The terror of the dream was less that the sea serpent was going to break free, and more the guilt of knowing that all the mayhem that was about to unfold was our fault to begin with.

I thought that would be fun to homage with the penultimate chapter of this story. OBVIOUSLY the sea serpent was Calibani's mom, obviously the trauma of its capture was why Calibani grew into a predator that specializes in hunting humans, obviously we would have to free the sea serpent despite that running counter to Sailor's goal of getting home. Easy, easy, easy plot point to include.

Spindle, Inc. is the primary antagonistic force in Offbeat Melody, so they easily slotted into the role of the arrogant humans who captured this monster for nefarious and selfish motives. They could tie a lot of other plot threads together too - Dr. Neptune was a scientist who worked for them as a contractor only to get screwed over (i.e. they stranded him in the Sea of Monsters, expecting him to die, and then used his research to make their own base of operations in it), we'd learn of him through a spindle briefcase left behind by some unfortunate rogue agent who got eaten by the Globster while he was trying to escape, hell they could even be one of the possible origins of Sailor themself (more on that later). Very useful villains, Spindle.

The Abyssal Mother - I knew the last sea monster would need a lot of punch to it. I briefly considered just a big whale - the Moby Dick to Spindle's corporate Ahab - but it felt underwhelming after all that came before. So I went for arguably the most dramatic possible sea monster, a full on Cthulhu-style elder god. If you're a frequent follower of this blog, you might know I have particularly high standards for Eldritch Abominations, so I realized this was going to be a pretty big challenge for me to live up to, and decided to keep the cthulhu in question reserved to the last few entries as a result - the less it appears, the less it has to live up to.

I realized I had a good angle when my experiments with the Cthulhu "squid for a head" concept ended up having a face framed in shadow - you know, the same visual that our protagonist has in most appearances. That provided some very juicy parallels between the two that made this final monster feel particularly noteworthy to me, ones that I'll leave you to ponder, since they tie into...

Part 6: Themes

I did not set out to have a theme in this story. I just wanted to make a sailor and a sea monster kiss. That was my only goal.

But I really don't begin with theme in ANY of my writing. I figure out topics I want to address, but for all my novels I feel like the themes didn't start coming together until about halfway through the first draft, when enough of the elements of the story had been set down and interacted with each other enough for me to realize what I was saying with them. A huge part of my second and third drafts for my novels have focused on making the themes of my stories more concrete and unified.

Well, ASWaM is very much a first draft of a story, but it's a simple enough story that I think the theme found itself pretty well despite lacking subsequent drafts to refine it.

ASWaM is about doubt and direction. It's about being adrift in a world that is in many ways hostile by nature, about not feeling like you're where you're supposed to be or even WHO you're supposed to be, and about setting off aimlessly in the hope that maybe you'll find your way to that mythical land of "what my life is supposed to be."

When I began the story, Sailor had amnesia and wore clothes that obscured their identity as a way to make it easier for anyone to step into Sailor's role. Sailor had to feel like You, the Reader, and so we don't know their name, their gender, their eye color, their hair color, even their skin color (note that their hands are always wearing gloves, and their face is always in shadow).

But it also meant Sailor is, well, undefined, at least at the start of the story. Sailor doesn't know who they are, what they are, how they came to be. Sailor feels distinctly that they should be Something Else, should be Somewhere Else, should be Someone Else, should not be who/what/where they are. Sailor is plagued by doubt, by a need to go in a different direction, by a need to be other than they are.

This initially contrasts with Calibani, who begins the story very confident that she is doing exactly what she was designed to be doing and acting exactly like she should be. As they interact, they begin to shift each other in opposite directions - Calibani questions her existence and nature, sometimes to a self destructive degree, and Sailor begins to find something about who and where they are that they like. They find a healthy middle ground together - doubtful enough to want to be better people, but with love for themselves that allows them to not feel the need to up-heave their lives entirely.

I knew at the start that I would build an expectation for there to be some answer to the question of who Sailor is and where they came from, because those are the questions that begin the whole narrative. I brainstormed a number of answers to those questions, but once I got a few chapters into writing the story and saw this theme of doubt developing, I realized I couldn't answer them. From a thematic standpoint, the doubt HAD to remain. So I gave hints to possible answers, bits of evidence to support the possibility of them being true, but never planted a smoking gun that answered it for sure.

Sailor can't know the answer because NONE of us know the answer. Outside of blind Life of Pi style faith, you cannot know for sure that you are living the life you're supposed to live. All you can do is figure out whether you're happy with the life you've got, or if you need a change. Sailor will never know who they are supposed to be, but they did learn who they are, and they love that person now.

For those curious, the possible Sailor origins are:

Occam's Razor: they're exactly what Dr. Neptune theorized, i.e. a human who got stranded in the Bermuda Triangle (or the Devil's Triangle or any other number of paranormal triangles) and fell into the Sea of Monsters. The trauma of that experience gave them amnesia. It's just brain damage and bad luck.

A Spindle Experiment: Dr. Warefore mentions that Spindle has been trying to find a way to make a human who can evolve like the denizens of the Sea of Monsters. Sailor may well be an attempt to do just that, perhaps one they wrote off as a failure and abandoned (they do that a lot)

A Deep One: Sailor is the offspring of one of the denizens of the Sea of Monsters (most likely the Abyssal Mother herself) who has somehow been tricked into believing they are human, to the point where they seem to be human to everyone else, even other monsters. Maybe a human summoned a sea monster to breed with on earth, and Sailor ended up being subconsciously drawn back to the Sea by their blood. Maybe Sailor never actually lived on earth at all, but was only made to THINK they had as part of the transformation into a human.

The Platonic Ideal of a Sailor: the Sea of Monsters is full of archetypal concepts, and arguably a sailor trying to find their way home is just as archetypal as any sea serpent, mermaid, or kraken. Our only proof that humans aren't native to the Sea of Monsters is Dr. Neptune, and he's not as reliable an expert as he claims to be.

This theme of doubt and direction also made the compass more important to the narrative than a simply mechanic for audience participation - a compass, after all, gives direction, and the feeling that Sailor is not where they're supposed to be, that they need to head in a different direction, is ultimately the catalyst of the plot. The compass is, in many ways, the antagonist of the story - the force that keeps Sailor from accepting themself. I realized this a little after I started making the different directions have personalities - initially they just represented broad concepts (North = follow conventional wisdom ala the North Star, South = preserve your short-term self interest at all costs, East = act with curiosity and be willing to take calculated risks, and West = throw caution to the wind and do anything that seems novel and exciting), but over time they became little characters themselves.

Since it was our thematic antagonist, I decided to pepper in some ideas about what the compass might be in-universe - and, in a move that would no doubt frustrate the compass, we also don't know for sure which of those is "correct." Is the compass a poltergeist, some amalgamation of dead sailors who try to steer other lost souls home? Is it a malign entity that leeches off of those desperate enough to seek its aid, living through them while pretending to aid them? Is it a device Spindle made to lure sailors to their clutches, OR to guide their experiments in human/monster hybrids? Was it a cursed item that forced a sea monster to assume a human shape? Who can say - the compass sure can't, it can only tell you a direction to go in.

Part 7: Q&A

Since this was an interactive story, I felt it was only fitting to add one last interactive element to this post-script write up, and some of your happily obliged me by sending in questions.

When I noticed how fast readers were falling for Calibani, I figured there was a good chance we'd end up staying in the Sea of Monsters. By chapter 7, I figured it was more or less a given, and by the end of the Lord Ironteeth encounter I was almost 100% sure Sailor would remain at sea. There was always a chance, though - while a look at the polls shows that the audience got more and more on the same page towards the end, there were always dissenting voices, and the desire to get an answer to the question of Who Sailor Was remained strong, as a number of people kept trying to find angles where they could get that AND stay with Calibani.

I was surprised early on by how easily the audience fell in love with Calibani, to the point where I made a few posts commenting on it. I mean, I shouldn't have been - as I said earlier, I have cultivated an audience of fellow monsterfuckers on here, and I know at least a few of them saw my bait and knew they could get me to be freaky in a way we found mutually agreeable (thank you all again for helping me escape being caned by Jesus for being horny).

Like, we REPEATEDLY ignored developing the plot in the Tree Storks chapter for several days just to spend more time with Calibani - something that I enjoyed immensely (this whole thing was an excuse for me to write and draw a cute chubby sea monster girl as much as possible aftter all) but also knew as a storyteller was not what most would consider a good story call. I like how it turned out, but it defied conventional narrative wisdom, you know? I was surprised.

On the other side of the coin, I was also surprised by how the audience NEVER chose an option that was humorously disastrous. I gave plenty of them, and, like, generally in collaborative storytelling there will be at least one moment where your collaborators decide to do the really, REALLY stupid thing that makes everything spiral out of control really quickly. I figured at least once the audience would choose the troll response, but no, you guys worked hard to keep Sailor and Calibani alive. You refused to let them hurt each other, refused to let them throw themselves into danger, refused to imperil them for your own chuckles. It was very sweet and unexpected.

I say "you refused" but to be fair it's not like NO ONE voted for the troll options - they generally got a handful of votes, just one that was beaten by a landslide of more reasonable options. Hopefully those of you who voted for the troll options enjoyed Bob throwing you a bone by disintegrating Dr. Warefore - that was my consolation prize to you.

Yes. I knew at the beginning that there would be two endings for this story: either Sailor leaves the Sea and goes home, or Sailor stays there forever. Or, you know, Sailor dies as a result of you guys choosing several stupid options in a row, but as stated above you guys avoided those scenarios pretty decisively.

Had Sailor gone home, the following would have occurred: first, they would forget everything that happened in the Sea of Monsters. Second, they would wake up in a hospital, having been found in the Atlantic Ocean by a human-recovery charity run by... oh, isn't that funny, some tech company named Spindle Inc! Spindle would foot the medical bills and even offer Sailor a job, but Sailor would decline because even now they're still not sure what Spindle even does. Sailor would go back to their life and find it familiar and utterly mundane, but not particularly happy. Their father died when they were 18, their mother was never in the picture, they have no siblings. They worked an office job and were sort of a nonentity - that position has long since been filled, but Sailor gets a new job and lives out much the same life: simple, mundane, dreary. Every now and then they get a pang of desire to leave, to go to sea, but they push it out of mind. They never even see the ocean again as long as they live.

Sailor would have gotten the normal life they thought they were supposed to have, the normal memories and name and identity, the mundane life of a normal person. And they just had to trade everything they found in the Sea of Monsters to get it. A question is answered, a direction is followed, but is it the right answer, the right direction?

Well, I think doubt would have remained.

I had a very vague idea for there to be some sort of man-eating giant in, like, a crystal castle. He got cut to make way for the mermaids.

I wanted to fit in a big whale and a giant crustacean, but there wasn't room or an interesting angle for me to want to make room for them. Saved for a possible sequel, I suppose.

I also wanted to have a scene with, like, DOZENS of sea monsters, including some of the ones from Offbeat Melody, but the goal of "this should be EASY you dumbass" made me kill that idea pretty quick.

Thank you!

The primary inspirations were:

The Odyssey and Epic: the Musical

The voyage of St. Brendan

The many "weird shit happens on an island" movies in Toho's filmography, i.e. Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster, Son of Godzilla, Yog Monster of the Deep, Matango, etc.

The Island of Dr. Moreau

The Boy and the Heron

Ponyo (specifically Ponyo's parents - I wanted Sailor to have the same desperate energy as that wizard who fucks the giant sea goddess)

The Life of Pi

Slay the Princess (perhaps most obvious in the use of second person narration, multiple voices in the protagonist's head, and falling in love with a creature that has tried to kill you at least once)

I'm going to use this to springboard to a related point in a second, but first a genuine yet humorous answer: Yes, absolutely yes, I am enough of a big romantic sap that I would give everything about my life away to be with a person who loves me and explore a world of monsters in a heartbeat. Hell, I would have jumped in the water the minute Calibani asked and died with her fangs in my neck and a smile on my face. I am dumb this way. Do not follow my example.

On that related point, though... Most stories like this, I daresay ALL stories like this that I know of, end with the hero abandoning the fantasy world in favor of reality, never to return. And that seems like the proper choice and lesson on the surface - we don't want to tell audiences to give up their real life in favor of a fantasy, after all. That's encouraging escapism, and that's not healthy!

But, like... textually speaking, the fantastical world IS real to the characters in these stories. And it's often not really an escape - was Sailor's life devoid of conflict and suffering in the Sea of Monsters? Fuck no! It's just that they figured out how to deal with that conflict and suffering - they built skills and a support system, they adapted, they learned how to overcome what was there.

I think it can be argued that sometimes the return to a "normal" world is, in itself, an escape - the idea that your life can spiral into chaos but that's ok, you can just reset everything and go back to The Way It Was and Should Be is just as unrealistic and unhealthy an idea as You Should Escape to A Better World. Sometimes your plans for your life fall apart, sometimes you're thrown into a place you never intended to go, sometimes you have to learn skills you never anticipated needing and ally with people you never thought you'd befriend to deal with problems you never dreamed you'd have to overcome. And sometimes it's ok to look at your derailed life, your Not Where You Should Be life, and say, "Well, I've learned how to live here... maybe I can stay."

Especially if there's a cute chubby sea monster girl who loves you.

Bob was never supposed to appear past chapter 7, but about halfway through that chapter I realized the audience and I myself would be heartbroken if we didn't rescue her. Definitely for the best - she provided some well-needed comic relief in the final chapters.

This is gonna sound snarky, but, yeah - there were 58 choices with four options a piece, and we only chose one of the four. While some of the options would have similar results, almost none would have had identical outcomes. And some would have been VERY different.

Like, to go back to the beginning: when Calibani attacked, we could either throw a net on her, harpoon her, try to drive around her, or hide below deck. We picked the net, but for the other three options:

Harpooning would result in us hitting her in the thigh, causing her enough pain that she collapses on our deck and we, horrified at the violence we committed, just sort of push on. Calibani would be wounded for at least the next chapter, perhaps longer, and significantly weaker (and probably harboring a great deal of hidden resentment while also being genuinely scared of Sailor). She would be vulnerable during the stork attack, forcing Sailor to take a more active role in that chapter.

Trying to steer around her would result in us essentially fighting her with our boat, resulting in the boat capsizing and Calibani getting tangled up in it. We'd wake up alone on Stork Island and have to travel in search of our boat, alone and vulnerable among man-eating trees. We'd run into Calibani again, also beached and in trouble, end up recruiting her to help us get our boat out of the sand.

Hiding below deck would end in a sea storm that leaves us inside our boat as it's beached on Stork Island. We'd fend off the storks alone, and run into Calibani once we get our boat out to sea, as she got away more or less unscathed.

All of these would have majorly changed the trajectory of our relationship with Calibani and our identity as Sailor, despite seeming to have the same component parts on the surface. Now account for how similarly slight changes in the other options could have gone, and we could have had a very different story indeed.

Part 8: Our Girl

I just think she's neat!

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allylikethecat · 1 year ago

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EQUESTRIAN AU

okay I’m now begging you to actually write this

No pressure but at this point it’s a need not a want.

Also I loved the AnE fic sooooo much. It actually made my week anytime I got to read a new chapter. I hope you continue with the infection verse

YES THERE ARE NOW THREE OF US AT THE EQUESTRIAN AU PARTY!

After essentially outlining the entire thing in my head today while riding my own horse, I think that I will be writing something related to it sooner rather than later. I'm so glad that the idea of Fictional!Matty and a horse is exciting to more than just myself. Because HORSES!

Also thank you so much for reading the A&E fic! I'm so glad to hear that you enjoyed it and were looking forward to the updates! It might take a little bit because I have so many (too many) other projects going, but I do have a few more visits to the Infection 'verse planned! The big ones at the moment are: Baby!Gatty getting together for the first time in between chapters one and two of the A&E fic, Fictional!Matty following his hospitalization in chapter eight and how he is adjusting, and finally, I really want to write the first Christmas after Fictional!Matty and Fictional!George get back together - because in the A&E fic Fictional!Matty makes the choice to go to rehab on Christmas Eve, so I'm sure in that universe the holidays are an emotional time for him. I have my own weird emotions to work through around the holiday season as well, so I think dealing with that via fictional!Matty will be great - I can get all my angst our and then you lovely readers will get to enjoy the angst!

Anyway, thank you so much for reading and for your continued support! I hope you like my next projects, whatever they maybe!

❤️Ally

#allylikethecat #ask ally #anon ask #the a&e fic #rid me of the blues #a&e fic #the infection fic verse #the infection verse fic #the infection verse #infection fic verse #infection verse fic #infection verse #equestrian au #All the King's Horses #so like not to be getting heavy on the tumblr #but my mom was actually diagnosed with cancer the day before christmas eve #and like she's doing a lot better now #but it makes the holidays weird for my family #and so like im already feeling all kinds of weird things about the upcoming season #and its like october #but october also makes me weird because its my birthday #anyway #ive been very emo lately #so expect me to write all the things since writing is my stress relief #and expect it to be heavy angst #but getting it out that way makes me feel better haha #keep it kind #thank you for reading!#sorry for oversharing in the tags

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multiheadcanons · 7 days ago

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MEMES AND TRAITS THE MERCS STOLE FROM SCOUT AND POORLY USE TO PISS HIM OFF

soldier: soldier started calling everything a “glizzy” after he heard scout say it exactly once. he was eating a hot dog and said “damn this glizzy is perfectly dressed.” he did not get it, he did not care enough to ask what that meant. he just started calling everything a glizzy. rockets? glizzy. ammo? glizzy. the medigun, fully charged and primed for an ubercharge? “HIT ME WITH THAT GLIZZY, DOC!” this was the beginning of the end with scout, once he got past the white knuckled shock of hearing that man say glizzy way too many times to the wrong things.

pyro: pyro eats up a whip and nae nae, no lie. they saw scout do it after a successful push of the payload, and everyone looked at scout weird, but pyro registered that smile, and those movements and committed it to heart. on the next battle, pyro physically dragged scout to a location near the edge of the map, and made a motion to stay still and watch. it freaked scout out until pyro air blasted one, two, three, four of the opposing team off the map; and after the fourth’s screams were cut short from hitting the bottom; they turned slowly to scout, and hit a whip. it’s the only time scout actually laughed. “yeah, get that shit pyro!”

demo: everything scout knows demo knew well before him, it just never came through right with his accent. but when scout started dapping people up demo was ALL IN for that. always brings scout in way too hard and knocks the wind out of him and stings his hands. “you’re not doing it right, lad! like this!” scout never wants to complain because it feels cool to get dapped up by someone he also thinks is cool, though he doesn’t want to admit that. scout does not want demo dapping up anyone else though because they’re not cool enough, except heavy he’s got no opinion on that because it’s funny to watch demo get the wind knocked out of him.

engineer: engineer hits that “gyat DAMN” often because of his accent. scout is convinced he’s using it wrong, that pisses engie off because it’s literally his accent and scout can get the fuck over himself he’s not from the first generation that made up language. sometimes to piss him off he’ll say skibidi toilet with no actual context to go around it. and scout hates that bc he hates skibidi toilet. also an enjoyer of the dap even when heavy and demo practically lift him off his feet with it.

heavy: heavy will dap people up. he loves it. makes him feel like he’s getting closer with his team. will always end a dap by pulling them in for a brief, yet crushing hug. everyone eats it up, laughing after they catch the breath he forcibly removed from their lungs and patting his arm or back, whatever the recipient can reach. also loves to say rizz, it makes his teeth vibrate in a good way. “doctor, you are a rizz master!” “demoman, keep rizzing your weapons!” “i LOVE my weapons rizz!” he doesn’t know if he’s using it right, scout just wholeheartedly assures him he’s using it right.

medic: medic heard scout say something fucks once. now, for him, EVERYTHING fucks. he himself DEFINITELY fucks. he assumed it’s a good thing. there was one time in the throes of battle, he managed to catch scout to heal him, and used the speed boost he got from it to catch up and yell over the din “you’re FUCKING today, scout!” and scout jumped his ass about how he’s not even using it right and he never wanted to hear that again. unfortunately, the doctor is a hellish bastard who loves pissing people off, so now everything does indeed fuck. he definitely fucks. “oh, my medigun? ja, that fucks. and i fuck too.” “doc, nobody wants to hear what you’re fucking, dude”. pissed scout off more when he and soldier were ubered, running into battle, and soldier said very confidently “your glizzy tops ALL OTHER GLIZZIES” and medic responded, making direct eye contact with scout in the heat of battle; “ja, my glizzy fucks.”

sniper: snipes dabbed twice in the privacy of his own nest to see how it felt and couldn’t get over his own shame that he did that. he did it twice because he alternated arms to see if it felt less stupid to do it the other way. it didn’t. he will never bring himself to do that again. that was embarrassing. has a dreadful feeling the other teams sniper saw him do it. sometimes after a really good kill streak he’ll do a small dab as a treat. he does unironically use “deadass”

spy: anything that will piss scout off spy is happy to do. spy has used words he knows does not exist to confuse scout as to the current slang going around. he’ll have scout on the internet desperately searching words that not only don’t exist, but he can’t even spell, just to make sure spy isn’t a step ahead of him. but spy is always two steps ahead of him. spy will say shit just to feel the bostonians eyes burn holes in the back of his skull, only to turn to him and say “what, you’ve never heard that before? look it up!” then hides in his room to watch him desperately search a word he can’t even spell. unironically uses “deadass” because he heard snipes say it once and it wriggled its way into his mind like a worm. he says it after like… everything.

#team fortress 2 #team fortress two #tf2 soldier #tf2 demo #tf2 heavy #tf2 pyro #tf2 demoman #tf2 sniper #tf2 engineer #tf2 medic #tf2 spy #tf2 scout #tf2 #sometimes i feel so goofy bc i get so excited for my own daily updates #deadass treating this tumblr like it’s not even mine #and i keep going omg i can’t wait for the next post you mean they do this DAILY???#like…. yes babe you’re writing it lmao #anyways i’m really excited for some of the next posts i hope y’all like them #thanks for appreciating my hcs if you got this far!

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darewolfcreates · 8 months ago

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mmm... many thoughts...

#another comic i wanted to do was about how the signals for the splatfests come from an old voyager like ship in space. something about how #the original signal was asking the last of the humans how they were spending the end of the world...#it is the end of the world. what are you doing? are you coninueing to do the same old? are you makeing the most of it? are you still trying #to save the world... what are you doing? and the signal gets recived as our splatfest... but i want to do that one in color if i ever have #the time to get around to it... so have this one. where splat dare (neo 3) talks to orca about human things.#i had a really fun time with the poses and the diolog :]#splatoon #splatoon 3 #splatfest #splatoon art #splatoon comic #comic #vidogames #videogame art #videogame comic #my art #artists on tumblr #splat dare #orca #O.R.C.A #end of the world #heavy #wall of text

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mysecretwindowuniverse · 10 months ago

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Nygmobblepot Text Meme

#Gotham #gotham text posts #tumblr text meme #oswald cobblepot #edward nygma #nygmobblepot #finally got around to making a nygmobblepot text meme #short and sweet but to the point #used it as an opportunity to improve/redo prior nygmobblepot text posts so that's now off of my long term to do list #when i tell you that last text post has lived in my head rent free FOR YEARS i'm not exaggerating #probably think about it once a week and i never fail to crack up #showed it to my fiance and he let out an exasperated sigh then after a heavy pause he was like: it's not wrong but damn it #so glad i get to torment this man for the rest of our lives <3 #my gifs #mine #risqué

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parisoonic · 2 years ago

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hey there, just wanted to say that I absolutely adore you're art style, such yummy shape it scratches my brain just right 10/10

also I'm in love with how you portray the start of heavy and medics relationship, like how they bicker and get on each others nerves a tiny bit,

I wanted to ask you what was the turning point from that to them kissing in the moonlight and whatnot

(sorry if this feels out of the blue I'm just really invested in the way you characterize them and I think your art is really cool)

heya! no worries (and thank you for your kind words!) - this ask got me really excited as ive had a few ideas rocking around for a bit...depending on the day of the week i'll give you a different answer as to 'how' but the general gist is collegues who are bad at their jobs -> collegues who are GREAT at their jobs -> out of hours friends -> inseperable -> taking a chance on 'ruining' that friendship -> it all works out.

I tried to answer through a little bit of a comic...this is literally the 0th draft...needs an extra page or two and a few more drawings (and then overall....redrawing) but i need to post as otherwise i won't get any work done. I'll finish it one day! but enjoy! :)

#tf2 medic #tf2 heavy #heavymedic #red oktoberfest #tf2 #tf2 fanart #team fortress 2 #ugh is that one page gonna get me banned from tumblr or something #i need like another page of heavy getting medic killed repeatedly on the field in the beginning #as heavy pockets are liable to do #and then them hanging out a little more and becoming unlikely bffs #just imagine some light experimental surgery #bbq parties and punching all the blood out of scout together #lore to my own images is so lame but i did think about this when i was drawing it :')

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piko-rose · 1 month ago

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"Heroes Don't Fail" - Sonic Movie 3 Angst Prediction Fanfic (OUTDATED PLEASE IGNORE LOL)

After Tom fell ill due to protecting him from a bullet, Sonic was left to wonder if his own friends had any faith in him to begin with during their most dangerous adventure yet. He was left to wonder if him and Shadow had more of a similarity than he thought.

Trigger Warnings: Usage of handheld weaponry, child endangerment, light blood, light swearing, implied PTSD

(THIS FIC CONTAINS POSSIBLE SPOILERS FOR SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 3 AND THE FINAL TRAILER. IT IS ONLY A FIC BASED ON MY PREDICTIONS OF A MOMENT IN THE TRAILERS WHERE THE WACHOWSKI BROS ARE OUTSIDE OF A HOSPITAL BUILDING. BUT JUST IN CASE, PROCEED WITH CAUTION. EVERYTHING IS UNDER THE CUT.)

(just a little something before I return to my break thingy lol be back soon <3)

"What the hell is wrong with you, you jerk?!"

What a terrible, terrible time to get caught by G.U.N. officials, and even Commander Walters out of all people. The man responsible for that little girl's death.

Sonic and his friends were SO close to breaking in, and shut down the Eclipse Canon before it accelerated back into space, with the Robotniks, and Shadow the Hedgehog, boarding it.

Controlling it.

And now, because of Walters and his men trapping him and his family in the Robotnik base, surrounding them with their weapons, the moon has a gaping hole for the whole planet to see.

The Eclipse Canon did that.

And G.U.N. just let it happen, all because they refuse to let him and his team get to the weapon of mass destruction in time. They didn't want some randos become the heroes.

Noooo, it had to be the "Guardian Unites of Nations," the big, strong, tough guys who don't give two craps about the people around them. Only their reputation.

Which will surely go down now that Sonic's angry tone finally shown it's furious face.

Sonic never meant to swear in front of the young fox, whose ears were covered by Knuckles' mittens, even though the question was already out by the time Knuckles realized what was spoken.

But just by seeing the commander, who demands answers to why they have random people they don't even remember recruiting, and in an empty base when they should be after that hedgehog and those crazed doctors, he was fueled with rage.

Just not too long ago, Sonic made a truce with Robotnik, big mistake, and along the way found a diary of sorts. A diary that contained everything he needed to know about this Project Shadow, and this Eclipse Canon...

Before he could explain to his brothers what's going on with Shadow, he took them out. ...Again. Definitely Sonic's strongest opponent yet.

With Doctor Robotnik betraying Sonic and his friends, with Shadow himself and Robotnik's grandfather joining him, apparently, they needed extra help from their parents, and even Rachel, whose husband was an agent himself.

They posed as agents, to try and gather all the information about the Eclipse Canon, and take it down, and hopefully find Shadow and the doctors.

But... Walters just had to evade their plans. He just had to ruin everything.

Like how he ruined Shadow's life.

"...Excuse me?" Walters muttered out, taken aback by Sonic's outburst.

"Don't pretend like I don't know! I know what you did all those years ago," Sonic barked, not afraid to step forward in front of armed troops, just to get up close and personal with the commander.

"I have no idea what you're blabbering on about, Sonic," Walters shook his head in disbelief, confused yet seemingly upset at the pissed off hedgehog.

"Forgotten about Maria already, huh?"

The mere mention of her name made the old man's eye brows rose lightly, but no body in the room could tell. But Sonic knew that he wasn't expecting the name to be mentioned again.

He demands an explanation. He demands answers.

"Wh- what about Maria?" Walters asked, nearly fumbling over his question.

"You ever wonder why Shadow turned out the way he is? Looks like you didn't tell us the full story!" Sonic says, his fists clenched into gloved balls, with fingernails nearly poking through the fabric, "You knew all along! You kept all of this from us!"

Tails and Knuckles looked at each other, then back at Sonic who was walking closer to Walters. They don't know who Maria is or why she's involved with Shadow, but it probably might have something to do with that diary Sonic tried to talk about earlier.

"What does any of this have to do with you being in Robotnik's base?"

"Why are YOU in his base? Trying to get rid of more Robotnik related evidences?"

"Sonic," Tom, seeing that Sonic is just a few more steps away from being up to his face, reached his hand out to try and get him away from the old commander, worry showing in his eyes, "step back. He probably has a weap-"

Tom's sentence was cut off when a armed man motioned him back where he was with his gun. The warning only earned the man a death glare from the Donut Lord.

No one tells the Donut Lord to back away from his kid.

"Sonic... I... believe I owe you an explanation." Walters sigh in defeat. His sentence made his nearby men turn to face him. Despite their faces masked, they all seemed perplexed as most of Sonic's friends and family.

"An overdue one," Sonic added in retort, his brow furrowing, appearing threatening to some of the soldiers.

"I was... involved, in the incident from 50 years ago," Walters began, "I never meant to injure Maria, but I never wanted anyone to know about it... I had to cover it up."

Sonic's top muzzle scrunched. Had to cover it up?

"So you just put the blame on an innocent hedgehog?" Sonic asked loud enough to accidentally scare more of the armed men around him.

"Who said he was innocent?" Walters asked, his tone sounding annoyed, "everyone knew that Shadow had incredible power strong enough to possibly wipe out a nation! Innocent or not, he was too dangerous to be around anyone!"

"He was only 'dangerous' because you took away his closest FRIEND!" Sonic's voice cracked on the last word as he screamed it at the commander, scaring him. "You seriously think covering it up is gonna make everyone feel better?!"

Tails and Knuckles grew concerned and thought about intervening, Tom, Maddie and Rachel all exchanged shocked looks at each other, and Randell closed his eyes and looked away, feeling hurt to know about this information his own ex-commander kept from him.

"So G.U.N. has always been a thing, huh?" Sonic asked, hands on his hips, "There's just not a lot of extra-terrestrials around here to keep an eye on, so you have to retire until I came in??"

"...Precisely." Walters, once more, sigh in defeat, facing away from the enraged hedgehog.

So from Sonic's understanding, G.U.N.'s job was to destroy all friendly, alien life who dares to step foot onto beautiful planet Earth? People of this world actually rely on these guys??

"Wow. Some heroes you all are."

"We didn't want Shadow to cause more havoc!"

"YOU caused havoc," Sonic stomps his foot, "YOU guys were responsible for making Shadow feel pain and loss!" He repeated the two words at him. The ones the commander gave to him back at the Chao Garden.

All this time he thought Walters barely had any info on Project Shadow, but he was wrong. Shadow was the victim all along.

"Who says you guys can be heroes after what you've done?! He's not the villain, YOU ARE!!" His eyes glow a sharp, angry blue as he points his finger, not realizing that his hand he used was spitting out electricity at the commander, making him back up.

Because of his powers being exposed, the soldiers threatened their weapons at the blue hedgehog, who was startled by them at first, but remained angry, who glued his focus on Commander Walters.

"Sonic!" Nearly everyone exclaimed, with Tom shouting his name louder than everyone else in the room. He threw his weapon and tried to run towards him, not wanting him to get shot, but one to two men stopped him by pushing him to the ground violently.

"Thomas!" Maddie cried. She would've been by his side by now if it weren't for more soldiers guarding Tom from both her and Rachel. Randell, Tails and Knuckles all saw this too and gasped.

"Tom?" The moment Tom was planted to the ground, he turned around to see his own father figure face down on the glowing red ground.

All of that anger immediately washed away when the possibility of Tom getting hurt entered his mind, and made him vulnerable long enough for Walters to snatch him by the wrist.

"You talk too much, hedgehog," Walters says calmly yet coldly, getting ready to grab his cuffs and take the hedgehog away, along with the others, already having the idea to give orders to his men.

"Sonic!!" Tom shouted, watching this old man putting his dirty hands on his son.

"Dad!!" Sonic cried out, reaching his free hand to his father, who couldn't get up as long as a weapon was aimed right to his head.

Suddenly, a loud BANG goes off, as a bullet nearly went flying to Walters' face, but hit against the wall to his right. He snapped his head to the dent in the wall, then back at the culprit who almost shot him.

Rachel. Eyes huge, out of breath and holding one of the men's guns in her hand.

Everyone's eyes grew huge and their mouths drop agape seeing this woman do something unbelievable, especially her sister Maddie, who is almost terrified of her, if not, proud of her.

"Holy crap," Knuckles unintentionally muttered out for everyone to hear, sounding rather impressed.

"Get. Your hands. Off my nephew!" She warned the commander. Her hands trembled intensely, not wanting to pull the trigger again, but will do whatever it takes to keep her family alive and safe.

There was no response for a couple of seconds, but Sonic, shaking off the speechlessness, turned his head back at the bewildered commander, who was having flashbacks of the last time this woman fought with him.

"You heard the lady," He says, his traditional smirk still having a hint of anger written on it.

He spun into a ball and lunged at him to the stomach, making him hit against the wall.

"RUN!" Sonic ordered his family as he ran off to the nearest exit, and so everyone, fighting off the soldiers, do just that. Maddie stayed behind for a minute to help Tom up, and hugged him, before Walters gets back up.

Sonic didn't really remember all the pathways to this stinky base well enough to know where the heck he was going, or even know where the way out was.

Some nerve that old man has, though. Trying to cover up an accident just to make himself look good? Sheesh.

As long as G.U.N. is out of his way, he can finally deal with the Robotniks and Shadow.

He came to a halt however when he noticed that no body was following him.

"Guys?" Sonic turned around to see no body behind him, and was growing worried.

He runs off to the opposite direction, risking to put himself in Walters' sight again just to rescue him. He just prays that Tom is okay.

But as he makes a quick left turn, Walters was in his sight. With a weapon in hand.

"Hoo boy," Sonic whimpered.

"Trust me. I don't want to do this," Walters says, despite the look of his eyes saying otherwise.

Sonic is the fastest creature in the universe, why does he feel nervous to be held at gunpoint? He should be able to outrun it. He never deemed Walters to be threatening, he's just a jerk.

That's all there is to him.

Why should he be scared? He's not scared. He's not scared of Walters.

He's not scared of his little toy.

"Out of my way, my family's in there!" Sonic barked, ready to put up another fight with this old bully.

"You've learn too much about G.U.N.'s history. No body should know about what happened on the ARK. You have no right to have this information with you." He says, still aiming at the hedgehog.

"I believe I do," Sonic protests, looking at the commander square in the eyes as if the gun was never there to begin with. "If you would've told me what had happened up there all those years ago, I wouldn't have NEVER join your little cult!"

"You didn't really have a choice."

"I feel like I did."

Loud thuds could be heard in the other room. Sonic suspects that his family is either kicking butt, in danger, or both. Probably both since Knuckles is going all out. He could hear his cries every couple of seconds.

They better be okay.

"You lied to me, Walters," Sonic says, his voice quiet yet threatening. "Do you have any idea what Shadow has been through because of your actions? You even made Gerald gone mad because of what you did to Maria!"

"You seriously shouldn't have never learned this information." Walters tries to dodge the question, but he knew it was fruitless.

"You refuse to listen, do you? You refuse to accept that you ain't no hero. Well... you're not." Sonic hissed. "You're a monster! A heartless jerk who only cared about his troops and no body else!"

"We are only doing what we think is right!"

"Nothing you ever did in your life was right."

"We are protectors who face anomalies such as you and Shadow! We don't know how strong your powers are and we worry it could affect the world in ways that damage it!" Walters continued, "I don't believe this world asked for heroes such as yourself."

"Damage it?!" Sonic shrieked with fury, "I saved this world a handful of times from that doctor, and you don't even care?! I saved the world! TWICE! Soon THRICE!"

"Didn't you see the state San Francisco was in?" Walters asked, growing more irritated with this creature. "We had no choice but to unite G.U.N. back because of your actions! And don't even get me started on Green Hills from last year."

"From MY actions-? Pfffft, okay, okay," Sonic "chuckled," "You seriously think that was my fault? Robotnik was the guy who endangered many lives out there, and, as usual, you put the blame on the alien hedgehog."

"Every other life endangering event occurred because of anomalies like you that kept running all around the planet instead of going back to the dirty caves where you belong!"

Dirty. Cave?

Oh, hell no, he did NOT just go there.

"Listen hear," Sonic began, gritting his teeth, "I lost my owl guardian when I was a child and had to live on Earth all by myself for ten years, seven in a cave. Throughout those years I was isolated! I had no body! Then, a twist of fate lead me to my father and mother, who took care of me for years, alongside my brothers, Tails and Knuckles, who went through a troubling childhood as much as I had!"

Sonic never noticed that he called Tails and Knuckles his own brothers, but he was too fumed at the commander to care.

"Even though I have people to care for me," he continued, "Robotnik has the guts to cause chaos in my life, and threatened the world at the same time, but I pulled together with my family and saved the world! More than once!"

Walters was listening, but never shown any signs that he cared. This only made Sonic more angry.

"Sure, there were some property damage, and some people were hurt, but sometimes even heroes make mistakes!" Sonic says, his fists clenched, "But I'm not gonna let that get to me!"

Walters' nose lets out an unimpressed exhale.

"I did my best to keep the world safe- my home safe, and all you do is treat me and my family like dirt!" Sonic raised his voice at him as he took another harsh step forward at him.

"I did more saving than you and your men ever will! You think you have the right to determine whose the hero and who isn't?! No!! You don't! You ruined Shadow's life, I won't let you ruin mine!"

Walters believes he sounded too brave.

"All I wanted to do is to live my life with my family, and I'm tired of people like you making a decision on rather people like me deserve it or not! I HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG!!"

Sonic panted after finally letting his emotions out. His eyes were shut, he was no longer paying attention to the commander, only his breathing.

He never felt so glad to let it all out like that. But the relief didn't last too long...

"And it's going to stay that way."

Click...

The hedgehog snapped his emerald eyes open after hearing a small creaking sound, to see Walters aiming the gun directing to his face.

"No hero should ever make a single mistake," It was Walters' turn to speak, "after all, heroes don't destroy things. They don't endanger civilians. You're responsible for most of the destruction in San Francisco, and because of Robotnik's obsession with you, your own townspeople have gotten injured, despite the so-called victory."

Sonic backed up two steps.

"Are you certain heroes do these things? Most specifically, you?"

He backed up two more steps.

"Shut up," he muttered.

"I'm not letting a bunch of alien troublemakers take my place as protector. You didn't even have the courage to rescue your owl. With a reputation like that, why should you not let it get to you?"

He does have a point. He tried to go back to save her from the Echidna, but... he was too late.

"You're no hero. You're just some kid, a dangerous one. A hazard. A weapon!" Walters barked the word right at him, making him jump.

"You seriously believe the world is yours? Sorry, but after what happened on the ARK, I'm not taking any chances. This world doesn't need another disaster. It doesn't need another failure."

His finger prepared to pull.

His own words took over Sonic's brain.

How could he let them take over so easily?

Sonic isn't a failure! He's-

BANG!!

Sonic shuts his eyes tight, not fully prepared for the bullet, but nothing had happened. He opened his eyes again to see a person standing right in front of him, shielding him from Walters' gun.

As he got a good look at him, he gasped. His ears pinned to his head. His worst nightmare came true.

Tom Wachowski, groaning quietly as some blood leaked through his shirt, while he was still guarding him from the commander.

He took the bullet for Sonic.

Tom is hurt. And it was because Sonic didn't run away.

Despite the pain shocking his body, Tom weakly opened his right eye and barely smiled at his little Blue Devil. "Make me proud, son," he whispered before collapsing to the ground.

Everything around him went dead silent. All he could do was stare at the seemingly lifeless body of the person who saved his life.

How could he make him proud when he was one who killed him?

How could he make anyone proud now?

Maybe Walters was right.

With a loud cry, before Walters could react, Knuckles delivered his most brutal punch to the commander, slamming him to the wall, knocking him unconscious.

The sound of a harsh slam to the metal wall knocked Sonic back to his senses.

"Hedgehog! They took Maddie and Ra- ...Thomas?" Knuckles just now noticed the body of Tom laying in front of a panicked Sonic. The echidna's purple eyes rose with concern, praying that what he's looking at isn't what he's looking at right now.

Sonic's eyes began to swell with tears as he looked back at his brother. "Where's Mom...?"

His question broke his heart. Despite remaining quiet, Sonic knew the answer, and was more devastated.

"Is everything okay in here?" The young fox called out, slightly afraid to come around the corner.

"Everything's..." Knuckles stopped himself. No. Everything is not fine. G.U.N. captured Maddie, her sister, and Tom appeared to be severely injured.

Not to mention that the mad doctors and that monster are still on the loose.

Everything is not fine.

"We're getting out of here." Knuckles says, picking up Tom bridal style, and ran off in a rush.

Tails came in just to time for a hurt Donut Lord to not come into his view. A defeated, glossy eyed Sonic didn't make it any better though.

"Sonic? Where's Tom?"

All the hedgehog could do is blink.

It was enough to give Tails the upsetting conformation.

Gloomy, dark clouds loom over the city of London. Roads were beginning to form puddles from the light rains that have been pouring down for a good hour or so.

An hour seemed like a trillions years to find out if one person is gonna survive a bullet or not.

Sonic, Tails and Knuckles were outside, barely dried off from the rain speaking with one of the G.U.N. agents, that was informing them about their father's well being.

"The good news is, however," she was speaking with the boys for a good while now, each of them showing concern in their own ways. Knuckles tries not to show it, and was listening closely, Tails was holding one of his tails, and Sonic, still recovering from the earlier incident, twiddled his fingers, wanting to hear the good news already.

"he wasn't hit near the heart, but the bullet was pretty close to the lungs. He will need to undergo surgery, so he has to remain in the hospital until then. Other than that, no other injuries have occurred as far as I'm concerned."

The trio didn't say a word, but they understood. They're just glad, at least mentally, that Tom is gonna be okay, but it'll be a while until he's able to wake up.

"Thanks for telling us," Tails says quietly, not really looking at the agent in the eye.

"As for your mission, I... really wish I could help," she says. She was concerned for the boys' well being, and thought about helping them, but after hearing word about the commander getting injured, she needed to be in a hurry.

"No you don't," Sonic mumbled, doubting her sincerity.

She sighed through her nose. She should've expect the boys treating this way to her. But it's understandable why they're acting like this.

"Could you at least tell us if Maddie and Rachel are okay?" Tails looked up at her with hope in his eyes. He doesn't want anyone to get hurt like Tom.

"They are confined until further notice. There's nothing I can do."

Sonic refuses to look at her.

"I hope you boys make things right and take care of those freaks up there," she says, "because if you fail on your mission, no one will forget this. Keep that in mind."

It was the last thing she said before making her leave. The trio watched as she goes, as they were left with the sentence floating in their heads.

Knuckles seemed calm, he has certainly been through worse, but he hasn't gotten a look at Sonic or Tails yet. They both seem distraught. This is their biggest adventure yet, and possibly their deadliest.

She's right. They cannot fail. No matter what.

Sonic closes his eyes and turned away from his friends, thinking. Tails and Knuckles looked over with concern.

"Sonic, y-you're not thinking about giving up, are you?" Tails asked nervously. A lot has happened, but there still all the time in the world to turn everything back to normal. Hopefully.

"Never," Sonic responded. He turned back around to face them. He never looked so serious. "It's not over until I say it's over."

Hearing that definitely lift Tails' spirits. "Oh! That's great! I'm so relieved!"

"What about the Eclipse Canon? How do we stop it now?" Knuckles asks, turning to face Tails. "It's already activated with the use of the Emeralds, which we cannot reach to unless we're in the ARK."

"Aw, shoot, you're right," Tails' smile faded away in an instant after hearing the mention of the Chaos Emeralds. "Ugh, if only I knew G.U.N. were to show up then we would've-"

"Do not blame yourself, fox. You did all you could," Knuckles reassures.

"I guess you're right, but what about Shadow? We can't get to him here, he's probably up in space by now! Maybe if I can somehow find a way to steal a space shut-"

"'We?'"

Sonic's voice caught Tails and Knuckles' attention.

"Nah," he says, "I'M going after him."

"What??" They both cried in confusion.

...Is he serious? Why is Sonic thinking about facing that guy on his own? Why without their help?? There's no way he's serious. When was the last time he was ever serious?

"Sonic, are you- are you hearing yourself? That is suicide!" Knuckles cried, "You don't even know the full power he's capable of!"

"Hes right, Sonic," Tails added for Knuckles' sake. They got the taste of Shadow's power firsthand. He knew that fighting Shadow alone would be a nightmare. "This is a bad idea."

"When does that ever stop me?" Sonic says, furrowed brows and fists clenched again to show the dead seriousness in his face.

Oh, dear lord, he is serious.

"I faced Eggman twice," The blue hedgehog continued, "once in a flying pod, and in a giant death mech, with the Emeralds! I can take on a super hedgehog."

"He obliterated us!" Tails says, "He's way too powerful! What if he hurts you and we can't save you in time?"

"I'll be fine," Sonic answered, his eyes lowered and away from Tails, "besides, I don't want you guys to get hurt."

Walters' words were still fresh in his brain. He couldn't help but think that maybe he did cause some destruction while saving the world, but he won't let it happen again this time. He won't let his brothers- his friends, get hurt.

He didn't notice that Knuckles looked slightly offended from being pushed aside from a fight. "But Sonic," he says, "we are strong enough to protect ourselves and you."

"I know, but I especially don't want you, Knuckles, to go overboard on Shadow. I think he's been through enough."

Knuckles blinked. "What do you mean?"

"He lost a friend on the ARK, remember?" Sonic says. "He's probably mad at the world because of that..." His expression seemed hurt from the thought of losing someone that close. He's been there...

But after thinking for a moment, his eyes began to twinkle with hope, and a small smile rose on his muzzle. "...but maybe if I can try and reason with him and change his mind, then our problems will be solved!" He exclaimed, beaming at his friends.

Tails and Knuckles earned him very lost looks.

"'Reason' with him? Oh, sweet mother of Tikal..." Knuckles messaged the bridge of his muzzle, not believing what was spoken just now.

"Sonic, there is no point in trying such thing," he says, "He is blinded by rage. How could he listen to you?"

"There... there is a way. I know there is!" Sonic spoke, sounding unsure if he knows a way at all. He just hopes that Shadow would listen to him somehow...

"Sonic," his tone rose for a moment to get Sonic to listen, "he tried to destroy us, and now he's trying to destroy the planet! Do you honestly believe this monster will, just, stop from your useless plea?"

Sonic stared at him like he killed a man.

"He's not a monster," he says, "he was just blamed for something he didn't do."

"That was in the past," Knuckles argued, "this is the present! We are dealing with Shadow's action NOW! His actions now is what makes him a-"

"I'll find a way to stop him, Knuckles," Sonic explained, "Besides, he'll probably listen to me because of how similar we are! We both lost someone really important a long time ago... ...Wait, is Shadow, like, an old dude now or-?"

"He was frozen, Sonic." Tails corrected, his eyes stabbing him with disapproval.

"...So, does that make him, like, Captain America, or somethin- BUT ANYWAYS, anyways," Sonic stops himself from going off topic.

"H-he used to have a human friend and those G.U.N. jerks took her away, and I used to have Longclaw before I came to Earth..." He looked down at his shoes and scratched the back of his head, not wanting to bring himself back to a difficult time of his life, nor wanting to think about what he had read in that diary.

"But Shadow is nothing like you," Knuckles mentioned, "Just because you both have 'similar' pasts, that does not mean it will stop Shadow from being destructive."

Sonic couldn't help but feel scolded in some way. Maybe it was because he read the diary and never got the chance to show Tails and Knuckles before Shadow came in.

They never knew what Shadow been through. It's understandable that they were cautious over this plan, but... it seemed like Knuckles doesn't believe everything Sonic is saying.

...is he?

"Well, I mean... I guess me and Shadow do have a lot in common," Sonic says, "We're both hedgehogs. We both run pretty fast. We both have really cool kicks. And... we were doubted."

Tails blinked. "Wh-what? Sonic, we didn't doubt you."

"You guys don't even believe what I said, didn't you?" he stressed, "I read those diary pages. I know what happened! I'm not lying just to make friends with an emo hedgehog!"

"No, no! I believe you!" Tails cried, waving his hands at Sonic. He had no clue that Sonic was feeling this way the whole time.

"Yeah, right!" Sonic says, hand on hip. "You guys don't even believe that I can handle Shadow on my own! You guys... really don't think I can do this?" his ears flopped to his head, looking at his friends, begging them to be on his side.

"Not on your own." Knuckles stated.

"At least wish me luck or something! Gosh, why are you... why are you guys loosing faith in me?" Sonic asked, sounding defeated.

Tails' two tails dropped to the ground. He wasn't loosing faith in him! He was just worried for his well being. Tom is already in the hospital and Maddie and the rest of her family are being held somewhere. He doesn't want to loose anyone else.

He believed him, one hundred percent. He never meant to make Sonic believe otherwise. He felt awful making his own hero feel this way.

Knuckles, however, thought Sonic is just saying all this just to battle on his own. Does this hedgehog know that they are in a middle of a crisis?!

"We didn't say that we're loosing faith..." Tails spoke sadly.

"You didn't, but I know you are," Sonic looked away, his eyes set on the hospital building. The one Tom is staying at for God knows how long.

The one Sonic himself put him in.

It makes sense that his own friends think that he couldn't do this right, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. Aren't they suppose to support him?

Like a good team he thought they were?

"I'm not gonna lie," Sonic began, his voice breaking but barely hid it, "I'm kind of disappointed of you both."

Knuckles' face grew disgusted and Tails tugged at his own hand.

...disappointed?

"I am doing all I can to make everything go back to normal," he continued, "and nothing is working so far because stupid Ro-butt-nik ruined everything, and stupid G.U.N. caused more problems and...! Ugh, and you guys aren't making it any better!"

Knuckles scowled down at the blue hedgehog. He had no right to be disappointed at the Echidna Warrior.

"None of this wouldn't have happened if we didn't put our trust into that mustached mad man!" he roared at his face, "So, technically speaking, YOU ruined everything!"

Sonic froze.

He, ruined everything...?

They recruited Tom and Maddie and family to help them on their mission, went to London to find the ARK before the Robotniks do, G.U.N. stormed them first, and the Robotniks got away with not only the ARK, but the Chaos Emeralds included, which helped powering on the Eclipse Canon, which cut the moon in half just now...

...and it was all Sonic's fault?

"Didn't you see the state San Francisco was in? We had no choice but to unite G.U.N. back because of your actions!"

Sonic blinked twice. Walters' words haunted him once more.

"You know what Robotnik has done to us in the past, and you seriously think he was our last chance at victory?!" Knuckles cried.

"You didn't even have the courage to rescue your owl. With a reputation like that, why should you not let it get to you?"

The longer he stared at Knuckles, the more his emerald eyes loose their spark.

"You think it's so easy to have all of our sworn enemies magically become friends?! is that your plan? Because it sure is a ridiculously stupid one." Knuckles stated.

"Knuckles, quit it!" Tails protested.

"No hero should ever make a single mistake. After all, heroes don't destroy things. They don't endanger civilians."

He breathed heavily. Walters just won't shut up.

"No hero should ever make a single mistake."

He won't shut up!

"No hero should ever make a single mistake."

"You think I'm stupid?!" Sonic yelled. The fox backed up, startled by Sonic's scream.

"You think I didn't see any of this coming, no matter how much I hoped it wouldn't happen?! You think I believed that Robotnik was our only hope?!"

"Yes." Knuckles answered with a straight face, unaffected by his anger.

Sonic's left eye twitched. This damn Echidna. He didn't believe him from the start. He didn't think this plan was the best he could come up with!

When they were chained up after getting knocked out it was punishment enough. He didn't need Knuckles the Echidna to remind him how much he failed.

He could've at least pretend to have faith in him instead of being brutally honest. Then again, Knuckles is a terrible liar.

Knuckles lying would be more worse than just being honest anyway. Who in the right mind would lie about how amazing and clever and heroic Sonic is?

Tails and Knuckles, apparently.

Sonic hated Walters' guts, but he hated how much he was right more. Out of all the mistakes he could ever make in his life, as a sorry excuse for a hero, is to put his faith on two "friends" who have never supported him from the beginning of the mission.

Or even the beginning of their adventures in general.

He tried, so hard, to make everything according to plan, but it all came crashing down, because he had to make a truce with Eggman. He even put Tom in the hospital because he didn't get the chance to run away from a stupid bullet.

And what did his friends do after all that? They criticize him.

He is fully aware of how imperfect he is, but Knuckles made him open his eyes. But especially Walters. No one had faith in him. He was never a hero, and he was too blind to realize that. Until now.

But he will fix everything. On his own. He will reclaim his title, without the help of his friends.

In a blink of a second, Sonic's eyes glow a sharp blue. If this is how his friends treat him after everything, then so be it.

Sonic scoffed a snarky chuckle.

"Well then," he says, raising his voice at first, "if we're playing the blame game, then THIS, is all Tails' fault!" He points at the young fox.

His ears folded downward. "What...?"

What did he do??

"That's right. Blame me for being a failure and see what happens!" Sonic barked him, stomping his foot.

Knuckles' violet eyes rose. Why the hell is he yelling at this poor child??

"Maybe YOU wouldn't have failed if you try to figure out what to do when G.U.N. showed up! I thought you were smarter than that, Miles!" he cursed his real name.

Tails gasped and back away, hugging on of his fluffy tails. His eyes fluttering as tears began to form.

Knuckles is having none of it.

"How dare you scold the young fox like that!" Knuckles walked up close and personal with Sonic, shielding Tails from him. He snarled at the hedgehog, but it didn't scare him off.

"Sonic, what is wrong with you," Tails croaked, his voice breaking. "I did my best!"

"I'm doing my best too, but no body seems to care!"

"ENOUGH!" Knuckles ordered Sonic loud enough for the whole area to hear. It was enough to make him back away a bit.

"We are supposed to be a team," he reminded calmly yet angrily, "why are you acting this way, hedgehog?"

"Because you don't think Shadow is capable of change." Sonic answered, forcing himself to not cry in front of Knuckles, "you don't believe in him. You don't believe in ME. And you know what? Even if I needed help, I wouldn't rely on people who don't believe in me!"

"I do believe in you!" Tails cried, a tear streaming down his muzzle. He never felt so heartbroken in his life. He did rely on Sonic. He looked out for him. He couldn't believe what was happening.

Why is his own hero acting so harsh to him? ...he probably deserved it.

Knuckles made sure Tails was still behind him in case the hedgehog does anything rash.

Sonic didn't hear a thing Tails said, and he refused to.

"I'm tired of losing other people," Sonic continued, now yelling, "I nearly lost Tom, I am NOT gonna lose the entire world, and I won't let you stop me!"

Tails held onto Knuckles' huge hand. The gesture only made Knuckles grow more angry. Sonic is scaring the small fox. He should not have done that.

"I am not gonna argue with you guys in a middle of a crisis that could only worsen if I'm not doing something about it!" He pointed at the duo. Then he walked up to Knuckles, his eyes glaring right at him like daggers.

"Besides, KNUCKLES, you are way too simpleminded to even listen to a word I say because all YOU care about is kicking someone's butt," Sonic hissed, not afraid of what the Echidna is about to do next.

"Simpleminded?"

He closed his eyes, and breathed through his nose.

He should be.

Knuckles carefully pushed Tails to his side, and then backed up a few steps. "Take it back," he ordered quietly, brow bridges furrowing as he glared back at the hedgehog.

"Make me," he opened up his arms. He could clearly see that this warrior is about to duke it out. If that's the case, he's ready to throw hands whenever.

Knuckles growled. Loudly.

"Take. It. BACK!" He roared as he smacked both of his own fists, causing fire to burst out ablaze out of his gloves, complete with his power surge spiraling all over his body.

Sonic formed his fists tight, his own power surge sparkling as well. His eyes zapped the same blue as before as his quills began to glow.

"Make me!"

It's go time.

Sonic and Knuckles charge at each other, delivering powerful punches to one another, some they dodged, most they certainly came in contact.

Knuckles tried to kick Sonic in the stomach, but as he tried to do so, Sonic zipped behind him and dragged him by his quills and threw him to the nearest police car.

The echidna made a dent on the door and the sirens began to blare off, but no body cared, except for Tails, who was stressed out enough already. He covered his ears, the sound of the police siren bothering his eardrums.

Sonic punched Knuckles in the face twice, but it had no effect. He's just too strong. Knuckles snorted, finding the attack rather unimpressive.

It was his turn to punch back.

POW!!

Sonic goes flying off a few feet away from Knuckles, as he stretches briefly before going back to his fighting stance.

The blue hedgehog gets up, rubs his bruised nose and growled at the Echidna Warrior.

"Stop fighting!" Tails plead.

As if this day couldn't get any worse, two of his favorite people in the galaxy are beating themselves up because of an unsuccessful mission that was probably his own fault.

His family is falling apart. He didn't ask for this.

"See? I told ya, didn't I?!" Sonic barked, his fist shaking, ready to punch that dumb red cherry straight to the concrete. "Fighting is all you focus on! You wanna remain victorious! Undefeatable!"

Sonic came running full speed and landed his fist straight to Knuckles' face. He tumbled on the ground before quickly getting back up, sprinting behind him.

"And all you care about is your reputation!" He spit back, before delivering back his own punch.

"Bull-crap!!"

"You are such a child!"

Sonic spun into a ball before lunging himself right into Knuckles' gut, barely weakening him. Still in his ball form, and rolled laps around him, trying to confuse him, before kicking him hard in the chin.

"I know what I'm doing! You both stay out of this! I don't need your help!" Sonic roared, his power surge growing stronger and unstable. He may be unable to keep his powers at bay, but he couldn't care less.

He just wants Knuckles to back off.

"You haven't a single clue what you are doing, you blue buffoon," The Echidna stated, raising his flaming fists of disaster, ready to set that hedgehog's pathetic face of fire.

"You call yourself a hero after the way you treat your teammates?! You are no such thing until you get your act together!"

"Shut up! Shut up!" A whirring sound grows louder and louder, unable to hold his power together anymore. He was too angry. He was too blinded by rage.

He is sick and tired of being criticized as an imperfect hero. He tried his best. He tried so hard. Why won't it be easy? Why can't everything just go his way?

Why does his family hate him so much?

"Just shut up, you Knucklehead!!!" Sonic screamed at the top of his lungs before shooting himself right into Knuckles at scary speed, preparing to pound the living daylights out of him.

"STOP!"

WHAM!!

Thud...

Sonic's heart nearly stopped.

The light in his once enraged emerald eyes faded away in a second the instant he's seen what he had done.

His powers died down. Now his fur is a dull blue.

It didn't stop his hands from trembling, however.

His ears bent back. He step back a few steps, not letting his eyes off the small, fox, that was once in his way, now many feet away from the duo, not moving a muscle.

His tails were limp for an uncomfortable amount of time. No sound was made from the fox. He remained still on the ground.

For seconds. Too many seconds.

Sonic's mouth quivered. He refuse to believe it.

He punched him. He punched his own little buddy. He hurt him.

"What have I done?"

"Tails!" Knuckles cried out his dear brother's name as he ran towards him, leaving a shocked Sonic by himself.

The Echidna rolled onto the ground as he grabbed Tails by his arms and cradled him close, checking for any injures, and making sure he's alive.

"Tails, are you alright? Speak to me!" He begged the young motionless fox, putting his hand up to his face, checking for blood and cuts.

Sonic watched from afar. The strongest fighter in the galaxy, holding onto a small child for dear life, begging for him to wake up. He caused this.

"Is he...?" he never finished his question. Somehow he knew the answer, but he just prayed it's not really true.

"He's... unconscious." Knuckles said to himself at loud.

Sonic placed both of his hands over his mouth slowly. He was in disbelief.

He knocked his little brother out.

Knuckles and Tails may be a few feet away from him, but to him it felt like millions and millions of miles away. He never felt so divided from his own friends.

How could he do this? To his own little brother?

...his little brother.

Dear God, he hurt his little brother.

How could he?

This small fox, who he bonded with for months, under the same roof, and spend good and bad times with alongside Knuckles, is knocked out because of him.

This tiny, precious baby, who admired him, protected him, fought by his side with, and even looked up to him, is not responding to anything Knuckles is doing.

He hurt him. He yelled at him.

What the hell was he thinking??

What kind of a hero is he hurting his own little brother like that?

His heart completely shattered into pieces the second Knuckles turned his head at him.

This strong Echidna, who has fought the toughest battles and the meanest bad guys before his arrival on Earth, has never looked so lost and distraught.

There were tears swelling in those violet eyes of his.

Knuckles just witnessed a small child got the soul knocked out of him by a speeding hedgehog, and didn't even save him in time.

It terrified him.

It made Knuckles cry. Knuckles never cries.

Sonic made Knuckles cry.

Throw anything at the Echidna, and he'll brush it off, but an injured fox would break him down in seconds.

Sonic may have hurt Knuckles physically, but he was destroyed on the inside just the sight of this small unconscious fox with a huge, purple bruise on his cheek.

Knuckles and Tails had such a bond so close, it would only make sense for Knuckles to break down like this.

The whole scene was just so horrifying for Sonic to watch.

He caused this scene. He hurt his own brothers.

His own brothers who he took in after they dealt with such a troubling childhood. Having either loosing a family, or never having one to begin with.

He gave them everything they ever truly wanted. He gave them a family. A happy life on Earth.

And now, he gave them something they'll both never, ever forget.

Betrayal.

"No hero should ever make a single mistake."

He let Walters' words get the better of him. His own words were his own weapons against his brothers.

Walters managed to break Sonic to the point where he endangered his own brothers.

Because of his fear of failure, it lead him to hurting his own brothers.

Whom he was supposed to protect.

His own fears took over him, making him appear as the bad guy to Knuckles. All over again.

Because of his failure as a hero, Knuckles may never look at Sonic the same way again...

Perhaps it could be true, as Knuckles shuts his eyes tight, and turned away from the speechless hedgehog, trying to calm himself down.

Him and Shadow really do have a lot in common after all.

Knuckles took a few deep breaths. "Keep calm... Don't let it out... Seal it in..."

Seal what in? What was he talking about?

Knuckles exhaled deeply, feeling more relaxed, but still in slight distraught when he opened his eyes back up, seeing the unconscious fox back in his view.

He couldn't bare to look at the poor thing any longer. he shuts his eyes tight again. He will find a way to nurse him back to health.

The hospital is right there. Hopefully the doctors know how to take care of an alien fox.

"Kn-Knuckles...?" Sonic mumbled his elder brother's name, reached his hand out slowly to him, praying he's not too mad at him now that he calmed himself down.

"Leave."

...Or maybe not.

Sonic pulled his hand back, stabbed in the heart by that one word. He doesn't really want to leave his friends behind. Not after what he had done.

He never meant for any of this to happen. He never meant to go so hard on them. He just doesn't want them to get hurt.

He just doesn't them to go too far on Shadow.

Another fight with Shadow is long overdue, but he knows what he has been through. He knew deep down he wouldn't listen, but talking things out won't work forever.

He just didn't want his brothers to make things harder for him than it already has, but he never meant to hurt them either.

Shadow is just a rival, but Tails and Knuckles are his brothers. Hurting them is a different story entirely.

They mean so much to him as much as Tom and Maddie. His parents.

He has injured his family. He had failed them.

...but hopefully not the world.

There is still time to stop the Eclipse Canon from powering up, and stop the Robotniks for good, and taking care of Shadow. It's just Sonic doing all the work now.

His family needed rest to heal anyways. He has put them through enough trouble. No more mistakes. No more hurting.

He's doing this alone. For them.

"I'll leave," Sonic croaked quietly, but loud enough for Knuckles to hear, "but I'll fix everything. I promise. Once I'm done with Shadow, I'll go and you won't need me anymore, and that's fine."

He sniffled, turning away from his brothers. He doesn't want to see them in that state anymore.

"I'll be okay on my own. I've done it before... I promise I won't bother you guys again..." Sonic says. Despite his small smile, he was screaming and sobbing on the inside.

"You have every right to be upset at me, but it won't change how I love you. And because I love you is why I'm going alone. I hope you understand. ...Goodbye, big bro."

With a burst of speed, Sonic ran off in seconds, leaving a blue blur behind him. Now it's just Knuckles, and a small motionless pup in his arms.

Deep down, Knuckles didn't want Sonic to leave, but he was just so angry at him...

He doesn't deserve to be alone. No body does.

Shadow doesn't deserve it either.

But he was still angry at him, especially. But he'll deal with him later. Sonic can't handle Shadow on his own, even though the blue hedgehog is full of surprises.

He'll deal with everything later. His baby brother's well being is his number one priority.

He pulled Tails in closer where his head meet his chest, and pressed his muzzle against his bangs, giving him the most comfortable hug he could ever receive.

"I won't leave you until you are all better, my dear brother," he whispered to him, still holding onto him as if he was just a small baby.

He sat there on the wet concrete, ignoring the cold shivers, and remained there until the fox is okay.

He is not loosing another member of his tribe. Not again.

Randell watched from afar. He wasn't there to witness everything, but he's gotten enough context to understand what had happened.

He stood there, his arms crossed, watching Knuckles holding onto Tails for dear life.

He still can't believe these are the dangerous aliens Walters was freaking out over for so long. They're just children. Children longing for a home.

And because of Walters' actions, these poor kids have been separated.

He turned away, crossed with his ex-commander. He could've just let them get to the ARK first. He could've just left them alone. But he didn't. He just had to be the villain.

"When I see him, he will not ignore me again," he said, before walking off.

He gave a promise to himself that if Walters won't leave this family alone, he's gonna have to take drastic measures.

He doesn't care about the consequences. The only thing he cares about is his family. And the planet they belong in.

#tw gun #tw child endangerment #tw swearing #tw ptsd #tw blood #sonic wachowski #miles tails wachowski #knuckles wachowski #movie shadow #movie maria #tom wachowski #maddie wachowski #rachel wachowski #randell wachowski #commander walters #movie robotnik #gerald robotnik #sonic fanfiction #sonic movie fanfiction #sonic movie 2020 #sonic movie 3 #sonic movie 3 spoilers #I hope you like HEAVY angst with zero comfort 😈#If this gets zero reblogs I'm just gonna quit writing altogether because I AM SO GODDAMN PROUD OF THIS ONE #I'll admit it's probably a tad bit outdated because I have better predictions for the movie but THAT DIDN'T STOP ME #I do NOT wanna scrap this I am WAY too proud of my work here for once #And so I am FINALLY FOR REAL gonna take a break from Tumblr for the holidays. I'll be back either before or after New Year's #Hope you enjoy my best work yet please PLEASE make sure to reblog to spread this around it would mean the entire world to me 💕#I'll be back soon and Happy Holidays you silly goofballs. 🎶 Please stay safe.

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