#so like my throat stopped hurting (mostly) like 2-ish days ago

[takinghisbow]

p sure i actually have bronchitis ✌️

[fussymeanie999]

first time - loki laufeyson x plus-size reader

WARNING: this is going to be around 90% dirty smut. you have been warned. mentions of: cunnilingus, deepthroat, facefucking, unprotected sex, breeding, first time

synopsis: reader feels extremely insecure about her figure, loki finds her being absolutely destroyed, he decides to show her how beautiful she is.

a/n: also, i like used a scene from my mad fat diary for one of the dialogues (another one of my favourite shows), so all creds to them! i also used a monologue called "corsets and courtship" for some of loki's quotes by @tomhiddlestonsoundalike on tumblr so all credz to him and whoever wrote the text!

enjoy, my plussize queens (or whoever's reading this lol)

+++

you stood in front of your mirror, in your undergarments, looking at your own reflexion, your fingers grazing your own skin, cringing at every bump or texture you felt. your skin wasn't as soft as you'd want it to be. it wore many marks, wether from your skin stretching or plain old cellulite. you had some pimples, some scarring... you hated it. all of it. you just wished you were perfect. you weren't skinny, that was for sure. you weren't even mid-size. you were a big girl. and as much as you'd want to pretend you weren't, there were times where that was impossible. you didn't fit in any "regular sizes" and not every store had a plus-size section. you were afraid to eat in front of people. you couldn't even be intimate with your boyfriend.

ah. your boyfriend. your boyfriend's name was loki. and he was probably the most beautiful man you had ever laid eyes upon. well, not a man. technically he was an alien. or a god? he came from asgard. a different planet and it honestly baffled you that a literal god would go for someone like you, when he could get anyone he ever wanted. you couldn't believe what you were hearing when he revealed his feelings for you. of course you were hopelessly in love with him but you just couldn't believe he felt the same way. fat girls never get the hot guys. at least not in any story you ever heard, especially not in your life. you never had a boyfriend. no one had really shown any interest in you and you didn't either. mostly because you didn't think anyone would feel the same.  you didn't feel as though you deserved to be with anyone, you were too big, too unattractive, too insecure. so you never really tried. until loki came around.

he became part of your life almost a year ago to this day. he was your first kiss, first date, first everything. the only first that was missing was... your first time. yes. you were a virgin. a fat virgin at that. you didn't even let loki see you without a shirt on. the mere thought made you burst into tears, imagining different improbable scenarios where he'd be so disgusted by your figure he'd leave you. but you wanted to. you wanted him to see you and you wanted him to touch you. you wanted him in every sense of the term, but you couldn't bring yourself to reveal your body to him when the time came. he was always understanding, listening to your wishes and never made you feel like you had to do anything you didn't want to do. but you could feel how much it made him ache to not be able to be with you the ways he wanted to. it made you ache as well.

you grabbed at your fat, your jiggly rolls, covered in purple stripes and you couldn't help the tears that threatened to fall, roll down your cheek. your small cries suddenly became sobs, and they became louder and louder, as your brain was flooded with images of loki's face, disgusted in your figure. you let yourself fall onto the bed, feeling your stomach touch your thighs, making your sobs grow even louder. you held your stomach in one of your hands and and the other directed itself on your face, massaging your temple, feeling your heart beat inside your head.

you thought you were alone. you really did.

you heard the door of your bedroom creak. your head immediately jolted up as your glistening eyes met with familiar blue-ish green orbs. you grabbed the nearest blanket and covered your almost naked body, your sobs completely stopping but your tears still melted away on your round cheeks.

your raven-haired lover walked in the room, carefully.

"oh my sweet girl, what has happened?" the god said softly, carefully kneeling in front of you.

he slowly held out his hand to meet yours with confusion, worry and a hint of sadness in his eyes, but you quickly dodged it and got up, covering your entire front side with the blanket and quickly turning around so he couldn't see the back of you.

"nothing" you struggled to say, in between cries, still backing away from him.

you continued walking backwards until your lower back hit the dresser. you looked down, for a few quick seconds and when you looked back up, your lover was only a mere 2 inches away from your face. he cupped your visage with his hands and softly wiped your dried tears with the back of his thumb.

" you know how much i trust you my darling..." he started. " ... but this doesn't look like nothing."

he started slowly stroking your hair and brushing it with his fingers. you tried avoiding his stare but it was useless, as he was grabbing your face and lifted your chin up to make you look at him straight in the eyes.

as his stare felt as though it was piercing through your soul, you couldn't contain your cries anymore.

" be honest with me... i beg of you... it pains me to see you like this" he pleaded.

you started to contain your sobs a bit better, but you still felt so much pain.

" why... why are you with me loki...?" you were able to blurt out.

confusion. confusion was all that was written over his face. he also looked a bit hurt.

his stare started going around the room, trying to find an answer to your question. his hands, that previously were cupping your face, slid down to your throat and rested on your collarbone, his thumb drawing circles over your thyroid.

"what kind of question is that?" he said, annoyance in his voice. you were afraid you made him angry.

"loki... you can have anyone you want, alright? you're a god..." you said, tears still brimming the sides of your eyes.

loki looked at you with so much hurt, it was hard to keep eye contact.

" you're an 11, and i'm a two at best..." you proceeded. "most people, when they see us, out in public, or on social media, they must be thinking; "oh he must be absolutely mad going out with that..." you stopped yourself when you saw loki's facial expression go from hurt to raging.

"that what?" he asked firmly.

you didn't answer.

"THAT WHAT?" he screamed, making you jump.

he put a hand over his mouth, trying to calm himself down.

"how many times do i have to tell you, y/n?" he started. "you are my person. my woman. my everything. you are the most magnificent being my eyes ever laid upon. the most beautiful creature in all of the nine realms. can't you see? can't you? because i can. i see it everyday. i don't have to see you bare to know. never say that to me again, you understand? do you? do you understand?" he said, starting softly and becoming more firm.

his hands were still hanging by your collarbone, but you felt them grip at your skin, desperate for your understanding, for your touch, for you.

"... i" you started. "i d-do..." you stuttered through sniffles.

he looked at you directly in the eyes. you knew he loved you.

'but not enough.' you thought to yourself.

your love carefully placed his lips upon yours. his lips that you were familiar with. lips you kissed thousands of times. lips you loved. lips you longed for. you needed. the kiss he planted was one of the most delicate kisses he'd ever given you, but at the same time, one of the most passionate. it felt like all of the love he felt for you he poured out into you and in that moment, you felt like nothing could come between you two.

"p-please don't leave me, loki..." you cried out after the kiss.

"my love, my love, my love... never. i love you." he reassured you, stroking your hair.

he planted kisses all over your face, your cheeks, your nose, your forehead, your eyelids, and then back to your lips, this time with more hunger. it was like all of the times he had to restrain himself, when you felt like you weren't ready, completely melted into that kiss. all of his passion, his love, his hunger, his despair, and more importantly his lust, he finally let it all out and you let it all in.

"loki..." you panted in between kisses.

"mmh... yes my love?" he said, intensifying and deepening his kisses more and more.

you hesitated. but you knew. you knew you were ready.

"i-...mmh... i want you." you said, desperation tinting your voice, sounding almost like a plea.

loki slowed down. he took a minute to look at you in the eyes. he wasn't sure what to say. he wasn't even sure what you were saying.

"what?" was all he could muster up to say.

you looked at him with a little more confidence and nodded slowly.

the look on his face was priceless. he would finally be able to be with you.

"a-are you sure about this, love?" he said, sounding like he had just won the lottery.

you nodded again.

he grabbed the sides of your head firmly and leaned in to kiss you once more. his hands trailed down the sides of your body and started playing with the blanket that you were still holding firmly in your hands. you were scared to let go. to be completely bare to him.

"i'm afraid you're gonna have to let this go, my darling." he whispered in you ear, taking the chance to leave a wet kiss on your lobe, slightly biting down on it.

he grabbed your shaking hands in his, drawing circles with his thumb softly against yours.

"give yourself to me, little one... let me see you, touch you, feel you, taste you. i beg... i beg of you." he whispered again, pressing his forehead against yours.

you breathed heavily. you wanted him to see you. to touch you, feel you...

the wall you had built had always seemed so hard to knock down... but in this moment though, that wall seemed to be made of silk. all you had to do was let it go.

"okay..." you said, in the softest voice you ever spoke.

you backed away from loki and walked backwards a few feet. you were now standing the back of your knees faced towards the end of the bed. loki was staring at you proufoundly, awaiting your reveal impatiently.

your hands were trembling. you had nightmares about this moment. you had panic attacks for this moment. this moment was everything. but something about loki... was it the way he stood? the way he spoke? was it his stare? something about him made you feel safe. safer than you had ever felt before tonight.

so you let go.

you felt the blanket reach your toes. you cringed. so you closed your eyes, not wanting to witness loki's disappointment. you awaited any second now a hurl, a disgusted sound or a hurtful comment. but none of that.

you carefully opened your eyes, only to find loki with a gaping mouth, having the most amazing look on his face. a look of pure love, of endless attraction and mesmerising lust.

he approached you slowly, making each of his step count. when he finally reached you, he immediately pressed his forehead against yours. though your eyes were staring down at your feet, you could feel his stare devouring you.

he carefully placed his hand upon yours and let it trail up your arm. then back down again, giving you chills.

he didn't say anything. not a word. what was he thinking?

"i... i look disgusting i know, i'm so sorry. i know i disappoint..." you said, starting to regret the blanket had reached the floor.

you heard loki sigh so heavily.

"you... have got to be joking, love..." were the first words he spoke after seeing your figure. you heard the smile through his voice.

"in all of my..." he started. you heard him swallow before continuing. "in all of my 1056 years of living... never... and i mean never... have i ever witnessed such beauty before this night. my sweet, sweet girl, i simply do not understand why you felt the need to hide."

his hand reached your face and kissed you so passionately, you felt a sort of... heat at the bottom of your stomach. it was an unfamiliar feeling.

that same hand made its way to your neck, then to your shoulder and started playing with one of your bra straps. eventually, he completely took it off and did the same with the other strap.

"you have no idea what you are doing to me right now..." the god said, in a lower, hungrier voice.

"what am i doing to you?" you asked, innocently.

in between kisses, you could feel loki smirk against your lips.

his hand went from your shoulder, trailed down your arm and grabbed your hand in his. he took it and before you knew it he pressed it upon himself. his black, silky, suit pants were showing a bulge in between his legs and that's exactly where he put your hand.

he was hard.

when you first touched it, you heard a whimper come from your lover. god, he needed you.

"this... this is what you are doing to me, darling."

you couldn't believe the words he was saying to you. you felt as though you were in a sort of dream. loki wanted you. he was... quite literally hard for you.

loki grabbed your hair and pulled your head back so you were looking at him. his eyes went extremely dark.

"lay down. on the bed. now." he demanded firmly.

you obeyed his commands in the blink of an eye. you were ready.

you laid down on the bed, on your backside, carefully. when you got comfortable you looked up at loki and saw him looking at you, with hungrier eyes. eyes that were darker and more lustful than ever. he was devouring you with his eyes and he made sure to capture every square inch of skin of your body.

with only a smirk and the flick of a hand on your partner's part, your bra disappeared in a light green magic, leaving your breasts uncovered and nipples starting to harden.

loki obviously couldn't contain himself any longer and almost jumped on top of you, kissing you savagely, making his way down your neck, leaving all sorts of love marks, some darker than others. some of them were painful but the pain only reminded you that this was real. when he got to your breasts, you could almost see his mouth water.

he carefully grabbed one with his hand, keeping eye contact with you the whole time.

"so soft, so plump... for me. oh god, sweetheart you're giving me such a delight"

and with no warning he started giving you small licks, around your nipple, carefully approaching your most sensitive part, which he enthusiastically started to flick with his tongue. the sudden pleasure rose your voice as you let out a small whimper, begging for more.

"yes... yes my sweet girl... let it out... show me how much you want this" he said in a raspier voice.

you found your fingers playing with his raven-black locks, as his mouth played with your brown-ish pink buttons.

he did so for some while, until he felt your hand grasp at his vest. you wanted him to reveal himself to you as well. he got the message pretty quickly.

he looked up from his meal, giving you the same amount of eye contact, as he took off his black blazer, black tie and black vest. all he had on were his bottoms but you were too worried about his beautiful torso to notice. you let your hands wonder on his pale chest, feeling the softness of his skin, some of his hair, up to his pecs, you couldn't believe it. how can this man become even more beautiful?

"like the view, my love?" he asked. you enthusiastically nodded.

he bent down to leave more love bites over your torso and your breasts. he started to slowly go down your body leaving kisses under your breast, going even nearer to the most insecure part of your body. you cringed and whimpered again, but this time in a less of a pleasurable manner, remembering all of your stretch marks and cellulite, knowing he'll be disappointed.

"i... couldn't... be... more... in... love..." he breathed out between his wet kisses. he was now definitely directly on your tummy.

he looked up, knowing you wouldn't like this part. he met your eyes and definitely noticed your hesitation.

he got back up, towering over you. he bent back down, catching your lips in his.

he carefully started stroking your hair, in the most loving manner you could ever imagine. he looked at you straight in the eyes, seeming like he was trying to deliver a message directly to your soul.

"what have i done to deserve you?" he asked, his voice choking in between his words.

those words completely melted your aching heart.

it was your turn to touch him. you said nothing as you slowly stroked his cheek with the back of your hand, giving him your approval by a shake of the head.

he smiled and his head disappeared to your stomach again.

you could feel his hands rome around your entire body and his mouth leaving wet kisses over your stomach. his long raven hair still trailed around higher up on your torso, nearer to your breasts.

he finally got to the place his own body longed for the most.

at this point you were completely damp and you awaited his reaction to your wetness impatiently.

he quickly gave you one of the hungrier and most impatient look you'd ever seen him give you.

he got up in front of the bed, looking you up and down like a predator looks at its prey and with the flick of hand, yet again, loki made your panties disappear in a light shimmering green magic, leaving you completely bare. all that was covering you up were your legs, still pressed firmly together.

loki carefully placed his hands over your bare knees. he could feel you trembling. was it from excitement? nervousness? or desire?

"open up for me, my love... let me in" he said in a demanding, pleading voice.

you slowly started to comply and let your legs go loose. your lover took it upon himself and slowly spread your thighs apart. he couldn't believe his eyes.

he was letting himself finally see your aching core. he could see it glistening, it was calling to him, begging for his touch. he was the one the one responsible and he'd never felt prouder. he admired every fold, every forgotten hair you missed while shaving, everything about it was inviting.

"oh my sweet sweet girl... look at the state of you. don't you understand how long i've been waiting? to see you in this position, completely at my mercy, legs spread, only for me..."

he gulped and whimpered at the sight of you, as you spread you legs even further. he could feel the tightness in his pants become almost unbearable. he'd never been this aroused before in his entire life. but first, he needed a taste of you.

he slowly started leaving wet kisses over your thighs, getting closer and closer to your velvet folds. his hands traveled your entire body. your body, that felt as though it had been set on fire. he once again cupped one of your breasts and started flicking your nipples with his fingertips. you let yet another whimper escape your lips, needing him more than you've ever needed anyone.

you felt his hot breath against your wet love box and that was all it took to make you go insane.

"p-please..." you pleaded to the god.

he took your scent in, smelling the most mouth-watering aroma he ever got the chance to smell in all of his 1000 years.

"you don't have to ask me twice, my sweetness..." were his last words before delving in.

he placed his fingers upon your aching core, exploring all of your folds, he couldn't believe how wet you were.

"darling... you are dripping..."

he let his fingers trail for a few seconds, until they reached your entrance. he circled it with the tip of his finger as he finally placed his lips right on top of your sensitive button.

the sudden, unfamiliar sense of pleasure, completely took you by surprise as you yelped.

his tongue peaked through after a few kisses planted on your clitoris. it circled in the same motions his finger was making to your entrance. he was so soft, so cautious. but you could feel the heat in the bottom of your stomach growing darker, more demanding so you placed you hands on the top of your lover's head, brushing your fingers through his hair and slightly pushing his head down on your core.

loki got the message, as his circles became more passionate and as he started flicking his tongue aggressively at your core.

you felt your entire body tremble in desire as loki's finger plunged itself in between your folds, exploring your insides.

you were now moaning deliberately, wanting him to add digits. you thought you'd be more resistant, you thought it'd be a little painful, even but all you could feel was pleasure.

"more..." you pleaded.

as the words were still hanging from your lips, loki plunged yet another finger in, and this time, you did feel a little resistance but you didn't care. you wanted him. you wanted him so much.

his tongue was working wonders on your clit. you would think the man hadn't eaten in days at the sight of him. he was completely devouring you and you could feel the pleasure build up inside of you.

the mixture of his fingers pumping in and out of you, and his tongue flicking at your sensitive button, all of it was too much for you to handle. you felt something was coming.

"loki... l-loki... something... something's happening." you panted, in between moans.

he didn't stop. he knew what he was doing. he went harder, his tongue completely destroying you.

"i can feel it as well... your heat... your wetness... let yourself come undone, my sweet... for me" he whispered, panting, in between licks.

'come undone?' you thought. but before you knew it, you felt it. the highest peak of pleasure your body had ever felt in its life. you felt your thighs squeeze around the god's head, squashing him a little. you didn't want to hurt him but you couldn't contain yourself, as you screamed his name, not believing that amount of pleasure was even possible. it was electrifying. your whole body reacted, you were sweating. you put your hand over your mouth and bit down your finger to stop yourself from becoming a screaming mess, but it was already too late, as you rode your orgasm out to the last bit of pleasure you could conquer up.

"you taste even sweeter than i thought you would, sweet girl" he said, giving the nickname a whole different meaning.

you let out a huge sigh, slowly coming back to your senses. you looked up as loki got up from between your legs, his hand still caressing your folds slowly and placed a delicate kiss on your lips. you tasted what you thought was yourself. oddly enough, you didn't cringe, you hadn't found yourself to taste disgusting. it was... kind of erotic actually.

"loki i..." you started. you didn't know how to ask. "i want to..." you sighed out.

"say it, darling" he said, stroking your hair, still caressing in between your legs.

"i want to taste you... too" you finally let out.

you wanted to make him feel as good as he made you feel. you wanted to thank him in a way.

he was surprised. he didn't think you were ready.

"you made me feel so good today... i want to reciprocate the feeling... y'know..." you said, shyly.

loki's hand pulled at your hair to make you look at him.

"is that what you want?" he asked, firmly. he grabbed your hand and slowly pressed it yet again on his throbbing member, through his tightening pants.

he sighed heavily, still looking at you straight in the eyes.

you nodded, slowly. he smirked.

"then, get on your knees."

you obeyed.

you liked how he commanded you and guided you through all of your movements. you were nervous he wasn't going to enjoy, but the anticipated look on his face told you otherwise. also, the throbbing length in his pants.

you were now on your knees, on the floor, at the end of the bed and loki was sitting, his still clothed legs spread, inviting you in.

you started to slowly stroke his thigh, rubbing your hand up and down, each time getting closer to his private. you did the same thing with his other thigh, feeling the god getting impatient with your teasing.

you finally placed your hand over his member, giving it a small squeeze. you heard your lover grunt, at only your touch.

"you're eager" you stated, looking up at him. he gave you a smirk.

"less talking." he said, darkly.

you complied, massaging his bulge through his pants.

when you finally unzipped them, you heard your lover let out a sigh of relief. you wanted to bring them down to his ankles, but loki, being impatient, made them disappear in his green magic.

"hey. let me work." you said, in more of a joking way.

"i said... less talking" he repeated.

you noticed a small wet spot on his grey boxers. you bent down, without touching it, smelling it.

you felt the god squirm under you, eager to feel you around him.

you carefully, and slowly took his boxers down, letting his member spring free of its shackles, finally revealing itself to you.

he was huge. it was veiny, its tip was a dark pink, almost red, it was pale like the rest of his body. but most importantly, it was enormous.

"like the view, my love?" he asked for the second time that night.

you nodded your head enthusiastically. all you wanted was to get a taste.

you carefully approached your hand to the hot spot. the second your fingers reached his skin, loki whimpered. it was burning up, but it was so soft. you felt the veins under your fingertips, and suddenly it was like you knew exactly what to do. you carefully started stroking him and ran your thumb over the most sensitive part of his shaft, his frenulum, and heard him whimper once again.

"please" he pleaded, imitating your pleas from earlier.

"you don't have to tell me twice" you imitated as well.

you approched his tip to your lips and delicately gave him a soft kiss. his skin was so warm.

you continued giving him small pecks but you felt him get, yet again, impatient with your teasing.

"oh come on..." he pleaded.

you looked at him. sweat was dripping down his forehead.

you then flipped his cock over, back to his stomach to give yourself full access to the base of his member. you placed your tongue directly in between his balls and shaft and worked your way up to his tip, making sure you passed by his sensitive junction between his red bulb and the rest of his penis. directly after, you put his tip in your mouth and started bobbing your head back and forth, tasting the drops of pre-cum he deposited on your tongue.

you heard him moan, some cusses flew out of his mouth, he moaned mainly your name, or called you by all sorts of nicknames.

"oh my, oh my... you're doing so good... mmh... g-good girl..." he moaned out.

his words were able to bring back that heat at the bottom of your stomach. you slowly directed your hand in between your thighs and started stroking your own bundle of nerves. loki didn't seem to notice, too lost in the waves of pleasure you were giving him.

he was now moaning deliberately. he tried... he really tried, but he couldn't contain himself anymore, he grabbed your head, pulled you by your hair and pushed your head down to take more of his shaft. you awaited a gag or any sort of resistance on your part, really, but nothing came.

loki got up from where he was sitting, your head still enveloping his shaft and started moving back and forth, you being completely at his mercy. he was deliberately fucking your face, and you let him.

he moaned your name so many times you'd lost count. he became more and more agressive with each thrust until all of his shaft was buried down your throat. he held your head down for a few seconds, gripping at your hair, letting his cock sit in your mouth, until he finally pulled out, a strand of saliva escaping your lips. he was out of breath, but not as much as you.

"you feel so good, my love. you're doing amazing" he said, panting.

you gave him a few kitten licks, asking for more. he buried his cock again down your throat, pumping in and out. he was fucking your face as though it was a cunt, using your throat as a mere hole that was made to mold his shaft perfectly.

you weren't gagging which surprised you. you'd never tested your gag reflex, but obviously you didn't have any.

you felt him go faster and faster until he once again, suddenly stopped as your head was completely enveloping his shaft. but this time, he started grunting and moaning, louder, in more of an animalistic way, holding your head down, hard, as deep as he could go.

"i- i'm cumming, love" he grunted out.

suddenly, you could taste bitterness, saltiness explode in your mouth, and run down your throat. your first instinct was to spit it out, but your god kept your head in place, making you swallow. it felt never ending. he kept cumming and cumming. you thought the taste would repulse you, from what you had heard from friends and the internet, but you honestly didn't find it to be that disgusting.

he stayed in that same position, holding your head in place, for another ten to fifteen seconds after he came. you felt his cock twitch in your mouth and he finally removed himself.

you took a deep breath, considering you could finally breathe properly.

loki knelt down to your level. he looked at your face. fortunately, you weren't wearing makeup, so no makeup to ruin. your eyes were red, tears had run down your face, you had spit all over the sides of your face, and some of loki's cum had fallen out of the corners of your mouth. he wiped it with his thumb and took it up to your mouth.

you sucked his thumb dry, tasting him yet again.

he gave you a loving smile.

"mine." he simply said, in a soft manner.

he then kissed you in the most loving way he could, tasting himself on your lips.

he then backed away, looking you up and down, noticing your hand still wondering around in between your thighs. he smirked and locked eyes with you.

"i think we're gonna have to take care of that." he said, as he got up. he was now standing up while you were still on your knees. you noticed his cock was hard again, once it got to your eye level. how was that even possible? how could he be hard again this quick? you had to remind yourself he did have the stamina of a god. he handed you his hand for you to take, which you did.

he got you up and carefully placed his hands on the sides of your head and started stroking your hair.

"are you still sure you want to do this my love?" he asked.

you chuckled.

"after what we've done? i'm pretty sure there's no backing up now?"

he gave you a confused look.

"of course there is. i'm not gonna do anything you're not comfortable doing, sweetheart." he said.

you sighed at your poor choice of words.

"and i know that." you started. "but i'm ready. i want you... loki."

he smiled yet again. he didn't say a word. he just kissed you. it was a passionate kiss, like all of your others that night. his hands roamed around your body as if it was discovering it again for the first time.

taking you by surprise, he lifted you up, flipped you around and threw you on the bed. never had you been picked up before. you always thought you'd break the person's spine. but loki lifted you up so easily, you felt like a feather.

"you're mine" the god grunted, as he plunged on top of you. he spread your legs open, as far as he could and positioned himself right between them.

he reached down to your bundle of nerves and drew circles with his fingers like he did earlier. he wound up plunging his fingers inside you yet again, prepping you for what was about to replace them. you could feel his length harden even more against your thigh, as he did so.

you started whimpering, wanting more than just his digits to fill you.

your whimpers were like music to loki's ears. he loved hearing how much you longed for him. he loved seeing you squirm under him. he enjoyed feeling all powerful, having that much control over you.

"take me" you sighed out, looking at your lover straight in the eyes. you couldn't hold it in anymore. you needed him. you needed him inside you. now.

he smirked as he bent down, to leave a soft kiss on your forehead.

"tell me when you want to stop, my darling. use your words." he asked of you.

you nodded, agreeing to his words, whilst trying to spread your legs even further.

his fingers left your core, leaving you needy and wanting to feel him once more, but they were quickly replaced by what you knew was his tip. he started slowly moving back in forth in between your folds, teasing at your entrance.

he gave you a look, pleading for approval.

you slowly nodded, ready to take him in.

you felt his his bulb starting to peak inside of you. you winced, feeling a slight resistance.

he stopped. but you nodded again, asking for him to continue.

as he buried his shaft deeper in you, it started to really hurt. for real this time.

"ow, ow. stop." you asked. "but stay inside. just stay... stay like this. let me- let me adjust."

he listened to you.

"are you okay, my love?" he asked, still halfway inside of you.

you nodded again, breathing heavily. you knew you could do it. you wanted to.

"p-... proceed." you said.

he listened to you again, burying himself entirely in you. he let out a loud grunt. your walls had adjusted to the size of his member and it felt less painful.

your lover moaned again.

"you.. are so tight, oh my. you feel so good." he panted.

you smiled. you loved seeing him in this much pleasure. you loved the passionate, lustful look on his face, all of it was for you.

he started moving back and forth, slowly, being really careful of each and every one of your movements, analyzing if you wanted to continue or not.

the first few thrusts were painful but eventually the pain left and absolute ecstasy took its place.

loki noticed the change in you and decided to give his thrusts more power, barely able to contain himself. he pumped in and out of your aching core at a medium rate. he wanted to go faster, harder but he stayed careful.

but you... you wanted more. you started clawing at loki's back, bringing him closer to you and leaving red scratches all over his back. you kissed his neck, his torso, leaving him the same bruises he left you earlier, though yours weren't as agressive as his. yours were small, red, but his eventually became huge purple bruises. and you had them all over your body. he started leaving you some more, on your neck, your collarbone, imitating your movements.

"more..." you pleaded.

he smirked against your skin, left you yet another passionate kiss on your lips and with that, his thrusts became harder, more agressive, much faster. you felt as if he was trying to crawl inside of you.

you both started moaning and screaming each other's names at the top of your lungs. your lover got up, detaching his torso from yours, trying to find an angle where he could go deeper inside of you. you wanted him back, missing the heat of his body. you reached out to him with your arm, but he firmly grabbed it, stopping you in your tracks. you were surprised. he looked down at you, staring at you straight in the eyes. his eyes went dark. his hand that had stopped your movement, trailed up from your hand, to you elbow and up your arm, until it reached the crook between your shoulder and your neck. his thumb drew circles over your cheek, then your chin and finally on your throat. you didn't even have the time to realise but his hand had completely wrapped itself around your throat, choking you slightly. you could still breathe completely fine, but his hand held your head in space, as his thrusts became even harder, if that was even possible.

he started panting, completely losing himself in the moment.

he bent down again, still holding your throat in his hand. he grabbed you and forced your face to be centimetres from his.

"mine." he said in a deep, grunting voice.

that word was the one that completely sent you over the edge. you could feel your walls clench around his member, your were close. you needed your release.

"loki... i'm close." you tried sighing out.

he understood you perfectly. the hand he wasn't using to choke you found its way down between your legs and started playing agressively at your clit.

"let go, baby... let go" he panted.

you couldn't hold it in anymore. you let your orgasm take control of your entire body. your legs were shaking, your hips started grinding against loki's, your hands scratched at his back even deeper, your eyes were rolling back inside your head, and your mouth gaped wide open, letting all sorts of cusses fly out of your mouth.

as you rode out your orgasm, you knew loki was close as well. seeing you in this intense state, all because of him, sent him over the edge and he knew he couldn't hold on much longer.

you started grinding your hips even more agressively, trying to meet his.

"come on, baby..." you whispered in his ear, leaving all sorts of wet kisses and hickey's all over his body.

you ran your finger through his curls, pulling at his hair.

and that's when you knew. you felt his hand grasped at your throat even tighter, making you gasp for air. he stopped moving, buried deep inside of you.

"oh my fu..." he started, moaning loudly.

you had made some research about how it would be like to have someone cum inside of you. you found out most people couldn't feel it. but you did. you felt all of it. you felt a warmth completely invade your insides, it kept coming and coming, just like earlier but this time inside of you.

loki's hand was still wrapped around your throat, holding it firmly, but as his orgasm ended, he eventually loosened his grasp.

when he finally stopped coming, as he was still buried inside you, he finally looked up at you and left a wet kiss your lips.

"i love you" he said, out of breath.

"i love you too."

loki looked down and smirked, taking his hand off your throat.

"no... don't say it like that... don't say "too"... it sounds like you're just agreeing with me. say it for real..."

you scoffed a little, thinking his request to be a little ridiculous. but you understood. you ran your fingers through his raven locks, held his head between both your hands, making him look at you.

"i love you, loki... i love you." you said softly, staring into his ocean blue eyes.

he gave you a wide smile and kissed you once more. he gave you a kiss full of love and passion.

after your kiss, he slowly pulled out of you. you felt so full, a second ago, the absence of his shaft between your legs contrasted so much with the empiness you now felt.

loki bent down again between your thighs to watch his seed run out of you. it felt yet again, never ending, but loki watched attentively.

"what a beautiful sight... may i snap a picture?" he said, jokingly.

"shut up..." you said in the same tone.

he gave you one last lick to your core and licked his lips, not minding his cum, plastered over your folds.

"i'll get a towel..." he said, leaving one last peck on your lips.

"thank you, honey..." you thanked him softly.

as you layed, completely naked on your bed, you thought.

you no longer felt restrained in your own skin, not around him at least. he made you feel seen, loved, desirable. you hated your body a little bit less, now. you might even try eating in front of people! maybe... you and loki didn't just have sex that night. you made love. he didn't just take your virginity, he made you into a better, improved version of yourself.

you were never more in love with him than in that moment.

loki came back with a light pink towel. he rose your hips up in the air and deposited it under you. he used the other end of the towel to wipe his seed off you.

once you were clean, loki got back off the bed and put the towel back in the bathroom.

he joined you in bed and wrapped his arms around you.

you felt so good. better than you had in years. with him. you felt so loved.

you didn't want to move, but you remembered you had to pee after a sexual intercourse... you read it in a blog.

you nudged loki, trying to get off the bed, but loki held you back, making it impossible for you to move.

"don't... even think about it." he said firmly under his breath.

you chuckled.

"i'm gonna get a urinary tract infection... and it's gonna be on you." you said in an accusing manner.

"darling, i'm a god... i have super powers, you're not gonna get a... whatever sort of infection you're talking about."

you scoffed, nuzzling your nose in the crook of his neck, sighing heavily.

loki left a loving kiss on the top of your head and held you tighter.

"you're mine... all mine."

+++

word count: 7395.... comment if you liked it loveys!! what was your favourite part?

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

A rough accounting of what has happened since last weekend:

Had a slight sore throat but tested negative, so I still drove ~6 hours out of state to see family with Spouse

Did a couple things with Spouse's family while mostly masked/outside and then went back to the hotel

Woke up completely out of it and Bad on Sunday; I stayed in the hotel while Spouse spent time with family

Fire alarm goes off sometime in the late afternoon-ish. I ignore the first shorter run. Second time it goes off long enough that I realize that it's not a test and throw on my shoes and grab my bag and head out to the parking lot in my pajamas.

Turns out the hotel was on fire??

But like only a little bit

I couldn't see any smoke during my slow lap around the building, but that doesn't mean much

Basically every other person there is a 25 - 50 year old man, which makes the fact that I'm not wearing a bra more awkward than it strictly needed to be

Some guy runs up to another group of guys and asks "this motherfucker on fire?" This is greeted with laughter but no answers.

An hour and ten fire trucks/cop cars later, we're cleared to reenter the hotel

Smells kinda smoky but I really can't otherwise tell that there was a fire so that's good I guess

Also did I mention that this hotel doubled as a trucking school?

Seriously one of the most liminal places I've been in a hot minute, not helped by being deliriously sick and out of it

I go to lay back down and realize by now it's dinner time and I desperately need food

I order some soup and go on a delirious ten minute drive for this food

The food tastes weird, but it's hot so it's fine enough I guess

Spouse brings home Covid tests he's been randomly gifted by his family

The next morning I test myself since hey - we have tests and it never hurts to be safe than sorry even though it came up negative a day and a half ago

And

It

Comes

Up

Positive

So now, I'm in another state with a ~6 hour drive home, Major Work Things the scheduled the next two days, and now I'm tamei for Covid

(Spouse tests negative for Covid miraculously, and so far is asymptomatic)

(We skip out on the goodbyes with his family anyway though and hit the road)

It takes us 11 1/2 hours to make this normally 6 hour drive home, because I keep having to stop to set up work-related coverage

My driving is mostly okay but this is the loopiest I've been driving in a hot minute

(Spouse doesn't drive, so I am the only driver unfortunately)

We get home stupid late, and I collapse into bed only to get up very early the next day and proceed to work 6+ hours for coverage reasons.

I manage to work slightly less on Tuesday, which is good, because by that point I physically cannot stay awake for more than an few hours at a time and can barely talk.

Spouse is also now very obviously sick

Wednesday I sleep

Thursday I sleep

Friday daytime I sleep

I bring in Shabbat on time, and then proceed to fall asleep at 9:00 p.m. and sleep until 12:30 p.m. on Saturday

Sunday - well, after I got up on Saturday I managed to stay awake 14 whole hours! But I'm still sick as hell. Spouse is also still very sick, and both of us retested positive as of Friday afternoon. We'll see what the rest of Sunday holds I guess.

So anyway, time is fake, last weekend feels like a year ago, and some things are better not smelled or tasted whilst sick anyway.

[pumpkin-lith]

Clone Wars Saved...ish

What the hell did I just watch ?

Let’s start by saying that 1) spoilers alert, not necessarily coherent but definitely there, I’ll put on a read more, but unspoiled mobile users, just in case it fails, scroll by and 2) @norcumii had warned me. And yet I didn’t quite expect that because, how could more clones ever be bad !

Oh boy.

Thanks to @shadow-spires for being my emotional support watchbuddy. I needed it more than I thought I would and we’re only three episodes in.

Some context : I’ve watched... only a few episodes of the show before, despite probably being able to give you the plot of all 6 seasons and quote lines and scenes, thanks tumblr and my own love for clones. And I hadn’t really looked at the bad batch half-rendered episodes because I still had trouble with the graphics of the actually finished show, so...

But I was ready for this, for feels, for finding Echo again and, finally, get 66 and murdered by Dave Filoni. Set up a meeting time to watch some eps with shadowspires, fun when there is a twelve hours diff between us and here we go.

Let me tell you, there was a lot of yelling in all caps in the chat side bar...

Trying to keep mostly in order of the episodes :

- WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO KIX’S HAIR ? Why ? Why hair and no more tattoo ??? Is this supposed to be red corsair continuity ? But then WHY IS HE HERE AND NOT ALREADY ABDUCTED ? Is this merch reasons ?

- Two seconds in and WOW I hate the Bad Batch. And this does NOT get better. I’m really tired of the Muscle is Dumb trope, Tech is like a human C3PO which urgh but fine but then KEEP CONSTANT (this is going to be a major point of my yelling), if Hunter says you chatter all the time THEN DO but no, we won’t here a single random fact ever again for three episodes, and Crosshairs chats and snarks a LOT for someone ‘not talkative’. 

- Regs. FUCKING REGS, urgh, I hated that word the INSTANT it was said. Canon isn’t as heavily into the Vode An fanon loves, but WOW fuck that. Strike team or not, you’re not supermen, you have to rely on intel, be supplied, you’re not a bunch of mercenaries, you’re a MILITARY STRIKE TEAM, you must interact with regs a lot so it means you’re a bunch of condescending assholes ALL THE TIME.

-Also fuck 1) that team’s dynamics and 2) the “two teams do not get along” trope, fuck it with a SHOVEL.  1) You’re a Commando Team. In an army three years deep into war. You’re comrades and probably have save each other asses hundred of times. So why can’t you behave ? And I know people do not always get along, or even best friends sometimes irk each other, but, look, consistency, if you think you’re with lesser people because regs (can you tell I’m not over that either), you present a united front and you don’t bitch at your teammates in front of them. 2) YOU ARE MILITARY. Trained for 10+ years, there’s DISCIPLINE there, even a maverick strike team, when Cody is down, you OBEY THE SECOND IN COMMAND. I don’t care if you have a better plan, you TELL the officer, you don’t just tell him to shut up and watch. AND YOU DON’T GET AT EACH OTHER’S THROATS.

-Did I mention I hate everything about Dumb Violent Muscles unable to control himself or follow a plan ?

-Of course the one time we could see Cody in charge, he’s hurt and useless.

-WHY. IS. THE MEDIC. GOSSIPING. INSTEAD OF KEEPING WATCH OVER THE WOUNDED BROTHER ???

AND WHY DOES HE HAVE HAIR DAMMIT

-The tactics Mess out of order :  Why is nobody blowing stuff up, a group able to single handedly take on 100+ droids is getting pushed back by thirty later on, why not trap the outpost to blow up the incoming droids, the analytical droid cannot comprehend why the clones would leave the outpost while in full view of the cyber center and it has to be pointed out to him, WHY DID NOBODY TRAP THE FUCKING OUTPOST TO BLOW, why does the tech guy LITERALLY NAMED TECH doesn’t hide/erase what they did to the computer, why if he didn’t have time DIDN’T HE BLOW UP THE COMPUTER. 

-And for a plot point being “droids analyzes our tactics so we always have to change them”, it means that no one ever attacked a front door and drew all the droids there for a second team to sneak by the back door. Somehow.

Ep2 & 3 :

- Why is “this may or may not be Echo” matters on a tactical PoV ? I get the emotional one, of course, but having the Bad Batch question it at the beginning and later on starting a fight over it has no other reason than to go for another round of We Do Not Get Along Trope. The Seps have either a PoW or an Algorhythm allowing them to win battle, no matter what it is, you have to go and rescue/take it. WHY ARE YOU ARGUING.

- I know this is the funny part of ‘Anakin and Padmé are the less subtle ever’ and it was funny (I didn’t hate ALL of the episodes, see ?), but why is she explaining to Anakin why he fights three years into the war other than reminding the public, this is the LEAST EFFECTIVE PLAN ever to hide from Obi-Wan with Rex obviously standing guard.

-Not a critic, just fucking amused : if someone isn’t aware that Padmé and Anakin are a thing, there is a lot of subtext to thing Anakin and Rex have a hidden fling. I don’t even ship it and I could see it x)

- Tell Padmé I say hello. TELL PADME I SAY HELLO. Obi-Wan fucking KNOWS, maybe not the whole “married and pregnant” but hellooooo that was blantant cue that he’s aware they’re together, at the very least so very close friends that they sneak private calls during a siege if Anakin is really dense, we have ONSCREEN PROOF that Obi-Wan SAID OUT LOUD something about it and it makes Anakin thinking Obi-Wan doesn’t know and couldn’t understand in RotS even STUPIDER. Good job Anakin.

- This Galaxy has the most efficient Google Translate ever. Either it’s a known language of the planet you’re going to, and then by doing research amidst the prep to go to the planet everyone or at least Rex as Captain would put the translator to the spoken languages there on his helmet, or it’s an unknown one and yet with two sentences, Tech’s tech (urgh) is able to translate and analyses it well enough to speak it back to them. Wow. 

- WHY. IS. THE. JEDI. NOT. USING. THE. FORCE. You’ve worked with Echo before but there’s no mention or even trying to feel him, fine, better have another fight of whether or not he’s truly here, two droids manage to get the drop on you, two droids manage to get the drop on you AND SOMEHOW AREN’T IMMEDIATELY BISECTED, Two droids manage to get the drop on you, survive, AND GIVE YOU ENOUGH TROUBLE YOU NEED SOMEONE TO SHOOT ONE TO GET OUT OF IT. 

- Echo, my poor baby TnT I knew this was going to hurt, and it does, it does so much. 

-And we’re RIGHT BACK to full on rage rather fast. We go from “he’s so weak he can’t walk, he doesn’t remember anything after the Citadel, he’s so out of it he doesn’t know where he is and ‘notices’ Rex being here two or three times” to “He can walk, he can be yeeted into a vent, he can tightpole walk, he can shoot while standing, he knows the whole base’s blueprints and also all the Separatist’s database.” in like. Five minutes. CONSITENCY FOR FUCK’S SAKE. Why is no one carrying him, why don’t we even get a fucking HUG ?

-Why was everyone yeeted by Dumb Muscles WHEN WE HAVE A JEDI HERE. WHY STILL NO FORCE ??? Clone-yeeting is like Anakin’s favorite pastime, he should have thought of it FIRST, My Moment Has Come.

- Oh FUCK NO. WHY did you even GO BACK TO THE NATIVES’ VILLAGE ? You got dragons, you fly back to your ship that wasn’t damaged in anyway, you evac fast and clean, DONE ! Why go back ? Anakin even says that the Techno Union will strike for helping them BUT UNTIL YOU WENT BACK THEY DIDN’T KNOW THE NATIVES HELPED YOU ! They had no problems until now ! DON’T INVOLVE CIVILIANS ! If they had gone with the plot point of having the natives pick a side and be the ones to save them from that pole by flying to get them, then yes, totally, stay and help and defend them against the retaliation massacre ! But since they didin’t, do NOT go there and draw to them a retaliation massacre.

-FUCK that speech. Sorry Rex, but FUCK THAT. Again, civilians. You are supposed to be the GOOD GUYS trying to STOP THE WAR, not draw innocents into it when it could be avoided. AND THEN LEAVE WHEN YOU JUST TOOK DOWN ONE ATTACK AND THE TECHNO UNION WILL SURELY COME WIPE OUT THAT VILLAGE FOR HELPING YOU AND THERE’LL BE NO JEDI TO SAVE THE DAY.

-Why is everyone suddenly dumb.

-Fuck that “good old days” bullshit. I’m sure there were good times, but your good old days are three years of war and losses. Gimme “now everything will be alright”, because for once someone survived, for once the future is looking hopeful, give me them hoping that it’ll be okay and then gut me with the sheer irony of it all because I know 66 is looming. AND FUCKING HUG HIM DAMMIT, he was almost catatonic thirty minutes ago, at least HELP HIM into the ship rather than leave him standing here alone.

-And no mention of Fives, of course. Idk it may be in episode 4, it BETTER be in Episode 4, otherwise this is “it be like the good old days, yay, btw Fives’ dead”.

I am SO ready for the damn Bad Batch arc to be over and hoping the actual original content is way better. I wished they had scrapped that disaster of an idea full of bad clichés. You want a strike team to go with Rex ? I’ve got a strike team for you : Jesse is an ARC, Kix is both a medic and seen many times with a rifle (AND THE COOLEST HAIRCUT, get us Bly there and give him a tracking speciality with the many ‘primitive’ planets he was on, and we have Aayla for the muscle. That would be badass.

[leahxx129]

The Last Descendant (Sam Winchester x Reader) pt.2

Summary for pt.2: You wake up in an entirely unfamiliar place but soon run into a familiar face. As the days pass, you grow closer to each other but every good thing has to come to an end, right?

Warnings: cursing, careless medication use

Word count: 2.850-ish

Read Part 1 HERE.

You wake up with a headache and an unusually dry throat, but these are minor inconveniences comparing to the fact that the room you’re in strikes you completely unfamiliar. You have no idea where you are. You throw off the covers and try to get up, but a painful throb in your left leg slows you down a bit. You examine the aching limb just to discover an apple-sized deep purple spot on it.

„What the hell happened?” you mutter under your breath. Eventually, you bring yourself to get up and limp over to the bathroom. 

„Well, you look like crap, princess!” you compliment your reflection and decide to wash your face, which, you conclude, doesn’t help at all. 

You find some painkillers in the nightstand drawer and pop a few pills, not caring to read the instructions regarding the dosage first. You find your stuff on a chair in the corner but decide against putting the skintight jeans on. Your leg definitely isn’t in the condiotion to be sexy, so you just slip into your ankle boots that go surprisingly well with the oversized male plaid shirt you’re wearing. Walking gives you a great deal of trouble, but being the stubborn ass person you are, you choose to ignore it and leave the room anyway. The corridor is way too lit and it gives off a hospital vibe, but you can tell this place isn’t one. There is a strange symbol on each door which seems remarkably familiar, but you can’t quite put your finger on it just yet. You wander aimlessly through the corridors that follow each other until you hear a noise coming from a room. When you limp closer and peek in you can see a man standing in what appears to be a kitchen, back turned to you.

„Best defense is a good offense, so here goes nothing…” you think to yourself as you creep up behind him as quietly as possible. You grab a frying pan from a hanger and just as you are about to give it a swing, the man turns around and grabs your wrist.

„Whoa..hey..Y/N!”

You stand there speechless for a second but regain your composure considerably fast.

„Abercrombie?! What are you doing here??”

He rolls his eyes.

„I thought we’ve established it’s Sam and I live here.”

„Then what am I doing here?!”

„Y/N, just calm down, okay? I’ll explain everything-”

„Well, I’m listening!” you cut in nervously.

„Give me the frying pan first, before you hurt anyone!” he commands, and you hand him the kitchen utensil despite your unwillingness. „Great. Now take a seat, I doubt your leg is already as good as new.” he comments, his eyes lingering on the purple spot. „Want some coffee?”

„Sure.” you sit down on the chair closest to you „I drink it with two loads of sugar, sprinkled with a little bit of an explanation.”

He gives you the most authentic bitchface you’ve ever seen in your life as he sits down across to you and hands you your coffe.

„It’s kind of a long story.”

„I’m listening.”

„Well…in a nutshell, you forgot something in the hotel room and when you came back for it, I invited you to have a few drinks as a sign of my gratitude for saving my ass. Then after a few too many we caught up on that kinky wild sex you had joked about before.”

You stare at him doumbfounded, which he finds very entertaining.

„We drank absinthe, didn’t we?” you finally manage to say while running both  hands through your hair „I mean I love that shit, but it can fuck me up real bad.”

Your comment seems to break him, and he starts chuckling.

„What? What’s so funny, Winchester?” it takes a couple of second before it dawns upon you „This didn’t happen, did it?” you ask through gritted teeth.

„Nope. But you should’ve seen your face.” he shoots you a content smile.

„Quit messing with me because bad leg or not, I can still kick your 6”2’ ass.”

„Is that really the way you’d treat someone who saved your life?”

„What do you mean? And I want the truth this time.”

He sighes and his expression turns grim just in a matter of seconds.

„Remember the blonde chick with the vampire you killed?” you nod „Turns out she wan’t a victim you saved from becoming monster snack. She was his mate.”

„Oh, okay. And?”

„And… you could say that she was kind of pissed off that you decapitated her one true love. So, when you took off on your bike and turned on the interstate road, she hit you right in the side with a truck. It’s basically a miracle that you got off with nothing more than a fractured leg bone.”

You gulp your coffee slowly.

„Based on that look on your face, this is not the end of the story, is it?” 

„No.” his voice is barely above a whisper „She then took you to a nearby abandoned warehouse and… and she wanted to turn you. That’s when I arrived. You see, the part of you forgetting something in the hotel room wasn’t entirely a lie. You left your machete there. I went after you immediately, assuming you left the way you did as that’s the only way out of that town. I saw your bike in the bushes and the signs lead to the warehouse…. I was just on time.”

You can feel tear drops forming in the corners of your eyes, so you wipe them off before they have the chance to surfice. The fact that he cared enough to save you stirs up so many unwanted feelings, feelings you thought died a long time ago.

„Thanks.”

„No problem. You did the same for me.”

A long silence falls on the kitchen.

„Y/N?”

„Hmm?”

„When I fought with the vampire, something weird happened.”

„Yeah?”

„Yeah. When I cut her on the arm with your blade, she just… froze. Like… almost as if something was already killing her from the inside.”

You hesitate a little. Should you tell him? After all, he saved you. He deserves to know. Certain parts, at least.

„It was forged with dead man’s blood. Incapacitates those fuckers just long enough for hunters to cut their heads off. Real piece of work, might I add.”

He nods as if he’s confirming a theory.

„One more question… where’d you get it?”

„Every girl’s gotta have her secrets, Sam.” you smirk at him mysteriously.

You steal quick glances at Sam whenever he’s not looking. And when he’s researching, he rarely looks at anything but the lore book. What is it about this man? What is it that makes you sit here and help him instead of running? What happened to staying out of everyone’s business? A few hours ago he told you everything… he’d been drunk the night you met, because his brother’s in trouble and he has no idea how to save him and he just lost it. But the worst part came when he mentioned the Men of Letters and that you’re currently at a safe house of theirs. This only should’ve made you grab your stuff and get gone, but the part involving angels and Michael above all is kind of the main reason for leaving and never looking back. And yet here you are, helping him, convincing yourself it’s because he saved you and your leg still needs time to heal… You shut the book you’ve been reading a little too fast, drawing his attention to yourself.

„If I have to read one more sentence, I swear my eyeballs are gonna start spinning around in their sockets and I’ll see my brain.” you say quickly in your defense, looking as innocent as possible. The right corner of his lips curls into a barely visible smile.

„Go get some shut-eye. You’ve been very helpful, Y/N, thanks.”

„Yeah, I’ve been helpful at finding nothing….” you murmur in response.

„Hey, you went through an entire book in just a span of a few hours! I call that help, even if there is no relevant information in it. Sleep well.”

„Will do.” you force a smile knowing exactly how big of a lie your reply is.

You limp back to the room you woke up in and read the manual on the painkilling drugs.

„Shit!” it’s not strong enough to knock you out for the entire night. „Well then, Sam might crap his pants later this night when the show starts…” you whisper to yourself and take a couple of pills.

The fatigue and the warmth of your blanket soon sends you to sleep. You don’t know how long you usually go without dreams, but at one point they always appear. First, they start off nice, mostly memories of your family. You, your father, mother and brother having a barbecue in the backyard, or just watching TV in the living room, anything basic you enjoyed doing with them. Then there’s a turning point when everything goes to hell. They appear and slaughter your whole family in front of you, one by one. Your father is the last one. He sees you hiding and tries to mouth something to you, but he’s choking on his own blood and you can’t make out anything, at least not until it’s too late. Every scream, every death rattle stops once and for all and that’s when you realize what he was saying. And you do it, regardless that it’s almost no use. You always wake up exactly when this happens, sweaty and screaming, but this time it’s different. There is someone calling your name.

„Y/N, wake up…Jesus, Y/N, wake UP!!” you hear a deep manly voice. Still in the haze of your recurring nightmare, you’re not able to identify who and you do what any person in this line of job would – try to incapacitate the intruder. In a blink of an eye you pull the person onto yourself, then shift so you would be on top and point the gun you got from under your pillow in their face. You’re seeing stars from the pain that shoots through your leg as a result of your swift movements, but you do your best to ignore them and supress the urge of crying out. The only thing disturbing the heavy silence is your panting.

„Sam?!” you finally recognize him.

„Uh, yeah!” his hands are in the air, his gaze is shifting between the gun and your eyes. „I heard this awful screaming coming from your room and I thought something happened…”

You let the gun down and avert your eyes.

„Yeah, not so much. I mean, when people witness this, they freak out, but it’s just another typical night of fucked up sleep for me.”

„You were tossing and flailing and… it honestly sort of looked like you could hurt yourself.” he adds in a low tone.

„Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don’t. It’s fifty-fifty.” you admit, which quite frankly surprises you. You don’t really open up to anyone.

„I see…” his eyes then slowly travel all the way down your body from your face to your thighs as you are still stradling him.

Feeling your cheeks heat up, you slide off him to his right side.

„Sorry about that. And, well, for the whole thing.”

„Oh, don’t be, it was nothing at all. I’ve seen a lot worse actually.” ha pauses for a second, but can’t keep himself from asking „Hey Y/N…Was this…was this about the reason you got into the life?”

„Make a guess.” you respond sarcastically, and he draws his brows together in confusion, awakening some guilt in you. Sam is just trying to be there for you to which your reaction is pushing him away.

„I’m sorry.” you sigh „Yeah. It was about the reason, damn straight. You know how everybody gets into the life by losing someone?” he nods „Well, try losing your whole family at fourteen. Now that can mess your head up real bad. Even though it’s been more than a decade now, my subconscious makes sure I never forget what happened.”

„You know, if you’d like to share-„ he starts but you jump in.

„I appreciate it, Sam, I really do, but I don’t think I can do it.” 

„Of course, it’s fine. „ he gets off the bed and starts towards the door but stops halfway and sits down in a chair. You look at him perplexed.

„Uhm, Sam? What are you doing?”

„Nothing. Just making sure that if you fall asleep, you won’t hurt yourself.”

„By sitting there and watching me sleep like a weird-ass creep?”

„Now that you say it out loud, yes, I admit it sounds way worse than it actually is-”

„Sam, I don’t need a sleeping nanny. I’m a big girl, I can handle a few bruises every now and then.”

„Y/N, please. I’m pretty sure that seeing my naked butt added to your trauma, so please let me do this for you. Let me help you. Or at least let me try.” he pleads. You suddenly realize the weight of his words. He really wants to do this for you and for himself. He couldn’t help his brother, and this chance strikes him as a step on the path of redemption.

„Okay. I hope you don’t snort.”

He smiles at you gratefully. You replicate his expression and turn to the other side and try to fall asleep again. You have no idea how much time has passed but you can’t take it anymore. You sit up abruptly.

„Okay, this isn’t working. I can’t fall asleep knowing that you’re sitting there and staring at me.”

„What? I’m not staring, don’t be ridiculous.” he scoffs.

„You know what? Come here.”

„Beg your pardon?”

„Sit here beside me. Or lay down. Or whatever. This way the whole thing won’t have that creepy stalking vibe.”

„You sure about that?” maybe you’re imagining it, but his voice sounds a bit higher than usual.

„Yup. Although I might kick you a few times, which I apologize for in advance.”

„O-Okay.” 

A couple of second pass when you feel the bed sink in a little bit on your left side.

„We can share my blanket if you’d like.”

„Thanks.” he whispers, and you feel him tug on the fabric.

„Good night, Sam.”

„Good night, Y/N.”

When Sam lays beside you, he makes sure to keep a certain distance between the two of you. But during the night when you wake up, you find yourself a little too close to him. Your head is on his chest, your right arm is around his torso. One of his arms is around you, his lips brush against your forhead. You can feel his hot breath fanning your face. Your very first intinct is to jump out of the bed as far away from him as possible, but somehow you don’t follow it. What the hell’s wrong with you now? Or was something wrong with you earlier when you thought cutting everyone out was the only way? You have no idea. And the fact that Sam’s hold around you tightens does not aid you in finding an answer.

The next morning you prepare breakfast by the time he wakes up. None of you mention the proximity you’ve experienced the previous night. The day goes by with researching. You try to crack a joke occasionally and it appears effective – he rewards them with a smile, even with a laughter once. 

Later on, your attempt at a peaceful slumber is again ruined by your restless subconscious. Sam bursts through the door. This time you don’t pull a gun at him – your shaking hands and tear-blurred eyes wouldn’t even let you - but sternly express your desire for him to leave. Being a Winchester, he does the exact opposite, this time not bothering to keep a distance.  Somehow your figure and his fit perfectly. This goes on for a few days, but you decide to leave. The research isn’t going anywhere, but Sam’s Mom and a friend named Bobby supposedly have a lead on his brother. Plus, you have your own business to run, you can’t keep on playing vacation and miss out on everything.

As a surprise, Sam’s fixed your bike that got trashed in the accident.

„I’m nowhere near my brother, but I did learn from the best.” he says shyly, scratching the back of his ear.

„No, Sam, it’s perfect. Couldn’t have done a better job myself.” you say as you stand on your toes to press a kiss on his cheek. Your lips may linger a little longer than they should. „Thanks. For everything.” you add, your voice scarcely a whisper. He smiles down at you, not saying anything.

You walk to your bike, but before you put your helmet on, the words basically just fall out of your mouth. 

„Hey, don’t be a stranger, Winchester. You should call sometimes.”

[purplesurveys]

1050

survey by chihuahua

1~ What quality do you value most highly in others? Loyalty. Those who can stick with me through the highs, lows, and all the boring stuff. I appreciate low-maintenance friendships.

2~ Are you more aggressive or mellow? Um idk, it depends on the situation I guess. I have a non-confrontational side, but at the same time I’m also quite vocal over issues I’m passionate about. Just last weekend I made the lunch table at a family reunion awkward because Jake Zyrus suddenly became the topic of conversation; I could feel the wave of transphobic comments about to come from the oldies, so I made sure I was one step ahead of the Gen X-ers and Boomers and saying that transphobia isn’t going to fly by at the table, so they shouldn’t even try. That’s the most recent instance I remember having to get aggressive.

3~ Who has made the biggest sacrifice for you? My parents. Dad has mostly worked abroad and I never got to see him for longer than a month all my life until Covid hit and he was forced to stay here. Mom has worked thousands of overtime shifts and was always on changing shifts throughout my childhood.

4~ Do you take any vitamins or medication? No. We have a constant supply of Vitamin C tablets for the family, but I stopped taking it regularly since like May because pure laziness. I don’t take any medication.

5~ Do you want to grow old with someone? I wish this was my reality, yes.

6~ Do you treat others better or worse than yourself and why? Better. I’m still working on liking/loving myself.

7~ What sound is annoying you right now? Nothing comes to mind right now, but an hour ago we were having our virtual company Christmas party and since there were nearly 60 people in the Google Meet and I also still had some deliverables I needed to finish, my laptop couldn’t take it and started whirring its fan. That was a little annoying.

8~ Where was your last vacation to? Hasn’t changed. It was still Tagaytay and Cavite. As much as I’d like to take a vacation somewhere, I think all places require you to take a swab test and that’s a big pass for me. Nothing’s going in my nostrils and down my throat or however far down it goes.

9~ Where was your last car ride to? Aside from back home, I was headed to Feliz. After that I also stopped by the local Starbucks to try and redeem a planner for my mom, but they don’t have the variation that she wants :(

10~ Where did you last walk to? To the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee.

11~ What gives you a peaceful feeling? Evening drives. I don’t care how bad the traffic is; there’s just something about driving at night that makes me feel very much at peace. It was better when I had the person I love with me; but driving alone isn’t bad too.

12~ Are you a light sleeper? No. I’m very likely to sleep through earthquakes.

13~ When you sleep next to someone who usually falls asleep first? They do. I’m always the last one to fall asleep, no matter who it is I’m next to.

14~ How many people have a piece of your heart? Kinda corny question, but one, I guess. It’s ridiculous that they still do, but I can’t help it.

15~ What do your salt and pepper shakers look like? Nothing too fancy in this home lol. We have a plain tub containing our salt. I don’t actually know what our pepper container/shaker looks like; we may just have the McCormick variant of pepper.

16~ When was the last time you hurt yourself? On purpose or accidentally? Hahahaha uhm I cut my finger trying to open a bottle of soju last week, and it bled pretty bad.

17~ Would you rather live in the city, suburbs or the country? Right now, I’d love a city environment. I’ve lived far too long in quiet suburban neighborhoods and a change in scenery would be nice. I hope I don’t end up feeling too lonely in the city, though.

18~ Have you ever built something? Other than Lego towers I made as a kid, I was never the building type. I’d rather have all my items in complete form when I get them.

19~ Are you more of a maker and giver, or a taker and user? I’m more a giver than any of these other labels. I feel happy from making people happy and comfortable.

20~ Do you take naps? I love naps but I avoid them now. I have very little free time these days as I’m always swamped with work even during holidays and weekends, so when I do have little bits of spare time I want to spend them awake and doing something productive and catching up on my hobbies. I think this’ll be my new normal now :(

21~ Do you buy holiday gifts early or at the last minute? Early for the people I love most. For everyone else I do it kinda late-ish, heh.

22~ Do you laugh when there is no joke and dance when there is no music? I do the laughing thing occasionally, but I only dance if there’s music.

23~ If someone else were to describe you what would you hope they would say? That they recognize the things I do for other people. I know it’s best to do things because you want to and not to be recognized and I stand by that myself, but I just want the reassurance that I’m seen. At least just once. 

24~ What is the dirtiest habit you can think of? Biting one’s toenails, trying your own earwax, or not changing your underwear for several days.

25~ Do you ever need 'quiet time'? For sure; I think all of us do.

26~ Do you think it is harder for a parent to outlive their child or for th Survey-maker didn’t get to finish this question, but the first scenario sounds painful enough. I can’t even begin to imagine the hurt a parent would feel if they had to go to the wake of their own kid.

27~ What was your best find from a flea market, garage sale, ebay or thrift? A copy of WWE Encyclopedia that was like 1/3 or 1/4 its original price. I remember not having a lot of savings left from that week but I still went ahead and bought the book because it was such a crazy good deal.

28~ What is one selfish thing you tend to do? I am not at all the poster child of selfishness... I’ve never felt comfortable doing things for myself. Everything’s always been for other people, and I rarely leave room for me, if at all. The most selfish thing I do is that I hate sharing my food, but even then I still share my favorites with the people I love.

29~ What kinds of people do you find intimidating? I try not to get intimidated by anyone because we all just go through the same shit at the end of the day, so idk. People in higher positions can sometimes be scary, but I’m not as intimidated by them as I used to be.

30~ Out of everyone you know who has the most unique personality? Maybe Andrew/Andi? They can fit in any crowd and can make a conversation last with absolutely anyone, which I find unique as not everyone’s able to do so.

31~ When do you do your best thinking? I always have to be able to think on my feet for work. Public relations is a pretty hectic landscape and communications is super crucial in it.

32~ What was a choice that you didn't want to make but you had to? The breakup. All that wasted time and effort make me nauseous.

33~ Have you ever written a letter to a soldier? No.

34~ What does your favorite coffee mug look like? This question is e v e r y w h e r e. It’s a copper Starbucks mug.

35~ What age do you think it is most difficult to be? I don’t think it’s fair to compare. Everyone goes through their own set of struggles no matter what age they are.

36~ Do you think you could handle a day in jail? Not the ones here.

37~ Who is the most overbearing person you know? My mom can definitely be one.

38~ Have you ever been on a trampoline? Yes :) Rita has one in her house and it was a lot of fun jumping on it. It was a huge one too; 7 or 8 of us were playing on the trampoline at one point.

39~ What do you use batteries for the most often? I haven’t had to use those in a while. I guess remote controls? Even though I barely touch those anymore.

40~ Would you prefer to wrap your own presents or have them all gift wrapped? I don’t how to wrap presents, so I asked my sister to do it for me in exchange for money hahahahaha. That might be my new Christmas practice from here on out.

[snakesnsnoodles]

2, 56 and 58

2. Who have you hurt the most?

That's a broad question, but I think I would have to say people that I’ve lashed out at or just ones I’ve cut out of my life.... I hate that I’ve hurt anyone, but I’m sure there is more  that I have hurt in my past, I just can't remember 

56. Have you ever seriously considered killing someone?

Yes, but thats in fits of rage and I usually get over it. Unless myself counts??? Hahaha

58. Have you ever experienced something supernatural or unexplainable?

Buckle up buttercup, I have a lot of stories. Mostly from my old house in childhood and the farm.  I’ll put it under the cut cause death mentions and such

cause long post is long

Woman in White and The Black Snake        When I was maybe 4 or 6 years old. My parents lived in the bedroom downstairs, my current room. I was(and still am) an nervous child and a very bad sleeper due to my constant nightmares.... When I was young, the second Harry Potter movie was out and I was terrified of the Basilisk(oddly enough cause now I think its cute???). So I would have this recurring nightmare where this giant black snake, not the Basilisk oddly enough, would chase me through my house and try to snatch me up. I would run around the house and it was alot like the scene in the movie where Harry was running through the tunnels and yeahhhhh. Anyways one night after this nightmare I was so scared I ran down to my parents room like I always would to get away. I would climb between them and try to sleep but I would end up staying awake anyways...    On this particular night, I came down and laid on the end of the bed instead, I didn't want to wake them up, I hated bugging them but I was so freaked. I heard a soft noise and I tensed up and looked around, thats when I saw it.. or should I say "her?"...A woman, dressed in a simple white dress, reaching her upper thigh, standing in the corner, she had long white curly hair and amberish, red/ or purple? eyes. She was so pale and beautiful, if not for the red slash across her throat and and the stains on her dress and pale glowing skin, I would have thought her to be an Angel. I sat up and pinched myself to make sure I was awake and she was still there. I was so scared I froze like ice. I could not move and I tried... I couldn't scream and I couldn't do a thing. She smiled and walked towards me, and then stopped and stood over the bed. She reached out to touch my face it was so cold, but hesitated. Her smile fade and she looked around seeming worried... then she vanished and I was freed from the ... spell? trance? I'm not sure... but the rest of the night I couldn't sleep and I kept hearing crying and the occasional shadow would dart around the room. I was so afraid I stayed awake until dawn, again.    In the morning I tried to tell my parents but mom got all weird and said it was my over active imagination, but it was so real and I was and still am convinced she was trying to tell me something...    The night after I had that snake nightmare again. But this time for some bizarre reason, I turned around and let the snake catch up with me. He stopped and looked at me with his bright toxic green eyes and we had a long staredown, he seemed to expect me to run, but I stopped myself. After what seemed like forever he leaned down and licked me, then after that in the dream, me and this snake played all night and I fell asleep against him in the dream, thats when I woke up, feeling  like I had the best sleep of my life. That was what probably started my obsession and love of snakes... I still don't know where or what was going on with the woman and I worried about it for years...    In the end I started to write a story involving the snake and the woman, I named the snake Daniel and the woman Onria....She's the main goddess in my story, and Daniel is her prophet... That whole experience spawned some of my earliest OC's....    I still on rare occasions dream about the snake, Daniel as I call him, but its rare... The Old Farm House / Hey Great Great-Grandpa! Where Is Your Leg?    When I was around 4th grade, we lived in Minnesota, far away from our house (we had the farmhouse and the one here in Manvel, but my dad owned the farm and mom owned the one in Manvel, they weren't married till i turned like 16, 17 years old tbh) Anyways, it was a house thats been in my dad's family since it was built. I had a bedroom in the upstairs and I lived under the attic. My mom and dad had a bedroom on the main floor along with the living room with a door so I could go in there and shut the door. Anyways I typically didn't sleep in my bedroom, I usually slept down on the main floor living room on the couch and fell asleep watching movies. But this night I decided to sleep upstairs in my bedroom with my hideaway couch/bed thing. I played some paper mario on my gamecube (oh my lord I feel old lol ), played with my hamster, and turned out the lights to go to bed. But of course as soon as the lights went out I heard some thumping around above my head... I got scared and fumbled with the light string (yes it was an old attachment thing haha, no switches upstairs) and I couldn't get it on.    Not long after that I heard a soft moan and the room turned cold. A man stood in the doorway squinting at me, he looked alot like my grandpa, but that was impossible because he was still alive at the time.... The man in the doorway was wearing an old time war outfit with one of the legs missing up to his hip. I just stared at him cause I was so scared. He blinked and pointed at the window and said something about the garage??? I looked at the window and looked back and he was gone.    So the next morning I go out to the garage, it was full of junk and stuff, never parked a car in it tbh. But anyways I went in and looked around and found a big jar. In the jar was some preservative fluid, and a fucking leg bone. Like the whole leg and foot. It was fascinating and I ran to the house to ask my  dad about it. (I didn't say anything about the supernatural hint because my parents never believe me...) He said I had found my great-great grandpa's leg, he had lost it long ago and they preserved it after they found it. It still messes with me that a dead relative pointed me to his dead body parts.    I rarely ever slept upstairs after that, cause whenever I did I would heat the knocking in the attic and it drove me nuts. Bump in the Night / Whispering Assault    Warning, this one MIGHT be triggering to you if you've been creeped on, maybe you should skip this one, just a heads up...    Alright. This one is the most recent of all the stories. And this one is a bad experience I have had/am still having..? Nothing has happened since my basement flooded ... but I'm still cautious of this one....    So. This started when I was still 18 and I'm now 20, so its been about 2 years.    Every so often in my house I stay up past 3am just to kinda work on doodles or watch videos, ect. On the first time this happened and I noticed it I was doodling, with no music on or any kind of noise. But suddenly I hear shuffling soft footsteps outside my room door. At first I thought it was my mom, but on how the hell she snuck downstairs without me hearing the upstairs door slam open, creak open, or the loud ass stairs, was my first hint that something was wrong. I got up and listened to the footsteps. They stopped, so I reluctantly laid back down in my bed. But as soon as I did that I heard the sounds of someone messing with the loud light switch, I got up much quicker and saw the light slightly flicker under the door, I stupidly opened the door as fast as I could, nothing was there but the air felt really heavy I slammed the light on. (At this point I've gotten brave when it comes to the supernatural seriously I've made it this far in life without dying) The room felt wrong and it felt like the dark was alive in the basement room across from me.... so I closed the door and locked it. I left my closet light on that night.    There was a few more incidents like this one where I would hear the noise, minorly freak out, and just try and ignore it. Then there was the two incidents... One where they approached me, and the second, when they spoke to me.    I shut off my electronics for the night and laid down in my bed (a weird coincidence my bed is in the same corner as where I first saw the lady in white, Onria. But this must be a different ghost, this one burns not freezes... o-o") As I was laying there, I had a scary feeling of being watched. I was too scared to look to the end of my bed but I felt the odd presence and pulled my huge comforter over my head. As soon as did this I felt something lay right on top of me, it was as heavy as a person, my heart was racing and I panicked and stayed under the blanket. I felt it feeling me up all over, it pressed against me, uncomfortably touching everything. I tried to struggle, but it held on tight. It was way to warm and I could hardly breathe. Finally the pressure released me and I reluctantly lifted the blanket to look and as quick as I could manage I turned all the lights in my room, it was gone.    The second and last time I heard from this same presence was maybe a couple months before the flood in my basement when the same-ish situation happened where I felt them lay on me, but much gentler this time.... There was weird and pleasant sensations. It was weird as hell and I felt breath in my ear and heard a woman speak, she said "its ok" and "I know about her" and then something about "You're not who you are". I felt a soft pressure on my lips and the presence was gone. I sat up quickly and remember seeing a soft flash of light outside my room and then it was gone.    After that I heard the noises very rarely and I still felt the darkness in the other room. I still get that feeling, usually upstairs now... In the end I am still to this day confused as hell.... and thats all my big experiences? 

[prettiestsupersoldier]

Gummi Bears

AN: Hey! I felt bad for being so pissed off when I posted 'The Winning Team' so have this absolute sweetness i wrote in like half a day

Summary: Bucky is a THIEF!!

“Steve!” You yelled as you looked through the freezer for your candy. 

 “What?” He asked back at you from the couch in his room. He was watching a movie with Bucky and you yelling was distracting them both from the well choreographed fight scene on Steve's TV screen. 

 “Where the hell are my Gummi Bears?!” You put them in the freezer as soon as you got home so they could be nice and cold by the time you were ready to lay in bed and watch your favorite TV show. But they were fucking gone! 

 “How in the world would I know where your candy is?! Does that even sound a little logical to you?!” 

 “They were in the freezer next to the ice cream and now they're gone. Did you take them?” If he took them you wouldn't be that mad, but if he was lying about it you'd be damn furious. 

 “No I didn't take them. Why would I take them?” He just really wanted to watch this movie and the more you bugged him the more annoyed he became. 

 “You drank my strawberry soda last night! Or have you already forgotten?” You had been saving that strawberry soda all day to go with the pizza you would be having for dinner. It was gonna be perfect with your dinner.

 “No I haven't forgotten.” He sighed, he got chewed out by your dad that night about taking your soda and he still wasn't truly over that.

“So why wouldn't you eat my candy today?” You had taken just about everything out of the freezer looking for them they couldn't have just vanished like that. 

“I said sorry about that by the way, and for the last time no I didn't take your candy.”

Bucky sat stone still as he listened to the two of you bicker back and forth. A part of him admired your sibling-ship. Even though the Rogers had adopted you, you had grown up knowing them and treating them just like you had been born into the family and it was very evident in the way you talked to them. Just like he talked to his own parents with love and adoration, but more specifically the way you talked to Steve the same way Rebecca talked to him. You could go from being at each other throats to sharing laughs and inside jokes in just seconds. 

The Rogers had adopted you when you were 2 Steve was 3 and Bucky was 4. Growing up Bucky didn't have any particularly fond feelings for you. You were just Steve's little sister who would bring them juice and Rice Krispy treats when they played outside. Sometimes you would trip and fall over and cry and he would offer a sympathetic hug to get you to stop. Every single time it worked like magic and your parents would always laugh and take photos. But for the most part growing up you were just an attachment to Steve much the same as Rebecca was to him.

Somewhere in middle school is when a flip had been switched. You had gotten your first 'boyfriend’ in 6th grade, a friend of Bucky and Steve's, and Bucky hated his guts. Hated the way he would carry your books to class, hated the way he would walk home holding your hand, hated the way he would give you suckers everyday, Hated. Him. It wasn't put into perspective until he had caught you guys kissing behind a school building. He was pulling they guy off you in seconds. 

“We're leaving Y/N.” He shouted as he pulled you to walk with him. 

“Why? I'm waiting for Steve.” You tugged your arm to break free of him but couldn't. 

“Because I said so. Let's go.” He pulled you more and you stumbled trying to keep your balance. 

“No, I wanna stay.” His grip was tight and you couldn't get out of. 

“I said we’re leaving, or should I tell your parents you were kissing your boyfriend?”

“That's not fair Buck! You didn't say anything when Rebecca kissed her boyfriend!” 

“That's different you aren't Rebecca. Let's go.”

“I hate you Buck..” When you tugged one last time his grip had loosened significantly and you made a break for it to run home.

He was so jealous back then and it was so embarrassing to think about how he acted then. But it was even more embarrassing to think about how he never apologized to you for ruining that moment for you. That giant green monster had lead him to do something so incredibly stupid and had also lead him to hearing the words that had been his first heart break. 

You had always had a crush on Bucky. Your parents would tell you stories about how you often would run up to him damnedest and Steve played basketball and hug his legs before your cheeks got hot and you ran away. There was even video evidence of your crush on him from a barbecue. There had been some dance song playing you couldn't be bothered to remember the name of even though you’d seen the video hundreds of times. The video was just under 3 minutes long and it started with you crying your eyes out while you sat on bench in your pretty purple and white dress. Who knew why you were crying. Your family was absolutely no help in telling you what made you so upset with their jokes. Your mom had told you it was because you dropped your hot dog. Your dad would joke that you were crying because you didn't get to jump in the bounce house. Steve said it was because Bucky had been dancing with one of the other kids that your parents had invited to the party. It was kind of annoying how much you believed Steve.

The next thing that happens after you had presumably been crying for 5 complete minutes is Bucky running over to sit next to you on the bench. Almost immediately your crying turns to adorable snotty sniffles as he pulls you into a side hug and places a gentle kiss on your forehead before he pulls you up and towards where the giant booming speakers are to dance.

Your crush on Bucky progressively escalated the older you got. So much so that the only reason you dated your first real-ish boyfriend was because he reminded you of him. You were young and super dumb in 6th grade so you didn’t really realize how messed up it was to be basically using you him. He didn’t particular look like him but he was called James and he hung out with Steve a bunch and he was super nice. It wasn’t until you had your first kiss with him did it dawn on you that he wasn’t Bucky and he would never be him,but before you could tell him that you wanted to call it off he had showed up to drag you home. He was acting worse than Steve.

“...You didn't say anything when Rebecca kissed her boyfriend!”

“That's different you aren't Rebecca.”

He loved Rebecca he didn't love you. He only saw you as his best friends little sister and that is all he would see you as and it hurt more than your 11 year old heart could take.

“I hate you buck.” 

When you looked back on it know you felt like an idiot. For a hundred and one reasons. For being such a silly kid for, for using that poor kid even though really be was probably using you as well, but mostly for telling Bucky you hated him.

“Steve I don’t wanna ruin your movie I just want my candy!”

Bucky reached over the tiny couch tapping Steve's shoulder ever so lightly to get his attention trying his damnedest not to crinkle the empty Gummi Bear bag.

“Whats up buck?”

When he opened his hand the bag crinkled loudly and he closed his eyes waiting for Steve to yell at him. Like he always did when this happened.

“No.” Steve's replies as soon as his eyes drop down to the bag.

There's an almost hurt whine that comes from the back of his throat. This was a common occurrence whenever Bucky came over he would forage through the cupboards and fridge looking for snacks to munch on when he and Steve did homework and watched TV and somehow he'd always, subconsciously is what he'd tell Steve, end up eating your food specifically no one else's just yours. Your candy, your chips, your leftover chinese take out anything honestly. 

“Steve please!” He begged. They went through this regularly. He would eat your stuff Steve would take the blame and then Bucky would rush out and buy way too much of whatever snack he had taken and have Steve return it.

“No. I'm not taking the blame this time.” Steve had told you a long time ago that if a snack of yours had come up missing 99 percent of the time it was because of Bucky. It was starting to get on your nerves a little bit. You wouldn't be mad if he just told you he ate your stuff, sure you wouldn't be pleased but the least he could do was acknowledge that he was doing it.

“if you take the blame this last time I'll … i'll do almost anything!” He begs.

“Anything?” Steve questions with a cocked eyebrow. He really just wanted buck to talk to you for one god damn second.

“Almost… anything.” Bucky offers a correction because he knew his best friend and he would be damned.

“I'm coming up there to look and see if you took them!” You yelled one last time as you walked towards the stairs.

“Steve I'm your best friend and I'm begging you to tell her you ate the fucking Gummi Bears!”

“Why can't you tell her you ate the Gummi Bears?” Steve asked with a knowing look on his face.

“Because she’ll yell at me.” He said through gritted teeth.

“Has she ever yelled at you? I'm pretty sure she's incapable of that.”

Of course Bucky never told Steve about what happened all those years ago because he knew Steve would ask what his problem was. Steve liked your boyfriend at the time he was pretty alright for the most part and explaining to Steve that he had a crush on his little sister was not the way Bucky wanted to die.

“Not necessarily yelled. But I bet she would!”

“You're an idiot.” He shrugged before calling back to you. “Fine,” Steve replied to  as he locked eyes with Bucky, “I don't care come look.”

You made your way up the stairs two at a time. You knew Bucky had come over earlier today he was always over. You wanted to see him even if he wouldn’t talk to you, you could see him for a few seconds. When you had made it up the stairs you didn’t even bother to knock on Steve’s door he didn’t knock on yours it was only fair. When you opened the door you did a quick look around to see if Bucky was in there with Steve. But he wasn’t.

“So he definitely ate my candy right?” You asked as you made to lay across his bed.

“Oh yeah absolutely.” Steve said as he let his head fall back against the couch.

“Where’d he go?” You are flat on your back staring up at his ceiling a lot disappointed that you had missed him.

“Hopped out the window.” Steve hadn't looked at you yet.

“No way?” What the hell was wrong with your brothers idiot friend.

“Yep. Jumped right out of the window. Took a running leap even.” Steve was so tired of Buckys bull crap at this point he didn’t even care he had jumped

“Your friend is an idiot.”

“I told him that. Wanna watch this movie with me?”

“Hell yeah!”

You don't leave your brothers room until well past 1 am wanting nothing more than to lie in your bed and watch TV. Minus your favorite snack. You had assumed Bucky would have made his way back in that time but he hadn't. You and Steve had watched 2 entire movies in that time.  

You always enjoyed quality time with your brother it didn't happen as much as either of you liked but when you did get the time it was great. You get half way through an episode of Wives with Knives when there's a soft knock on your door. That was weird Steve definitely didn't knock on your door and your parents had long since been to bed. "Come in!" You yell sitting up just a little bit.

 "Hey." Bucky practically whispers as he opens your room door.

“Oh. Hey buck.” 

“Can I um come in?” he asked after standing awkwardly for a bit of time.

“Uh yeah sure come in. Have a seat. I would offer some snacks but Steve ate the ones I was saving.” With that he walked in the last bit of the way before closing your room door.

“So whats up?” You tried not to sound so surprised. 

“I uh .. I brought you some Gummi Bears because I ate yours earlier.” He said as he pulled the biggest bag of Gummi Bears you had ever seen out of his backpack.

You tried to plaster on the best shocked face you could, but you could feel the familiar tingle in your face of a smile. “You know Steve told me a few years ago it was you eating my stuff.” You said as he handed the bag to you. Opening the bag immediately you grabbed a handful.

“He did!” he almost shouted. “I mean really? He did, did he say anything else when he told you that?” He wouldn’t look at you instead focusing on your TV where it had been paused on a lady standing over her husbands bloody body. He didn't actually say anything else, but clearly Bucky was afraid Steve had told you something juicy and you wanted to know what that something was.

“Bucky.” You give him a look that screams really dude,“He’s my brother why wouldn’t he tell me?”

“I should have told you myself doll.” Doll?! Bucky only called his ‘best girls’ doll. You sat up straighter in your bed and leaned over to turn your TV completely off.

“You can tell me now.” You thought you sounded smooth but you genuinely couldn't be sure your heart was pounding. “So I can hear you say it and not Steve. Obviously.” You were so terribly bad at this.

He took a deep breath before he moved to sit on the edge of your bed. “I like you.” He had finally made eye contact with you at this point waiting for reaction.

You could feel the Gummi Bears in your hand squeeze together as your fist tightened around them “Pardon?” This wasn’t what you were expecting fuck if it wasn’t nice though.

“Haha. You just said Steve told you,”he lays back on your bed before he continues, “Or were you lying to me doll?” His head is in your lap now looking right into your eyes. He smelled like spearmint gum and you wanted to close your eyes to take it all in but he was so close you almost didn’t want to breath.

“Its only fair, how long have you been lying to me about my candy?” This had to be some sorta of trick or maybe you had jumped out of Steve’s window and fucking died. That sounded way more likely then James Bucky Barnes liking you.

“Sorry about the candy.” he said one last time.

Before you could even think about what you were gonna say your lips were moving. “Make it up to me with a kiss?”

Theres a smirk on his face just seconds before he dives in to cover your lips with his own. Buckys lips gently brush yours and they are so incredibly soft and everything you had fantasized they would be and some. The kiss is cut extremely short when you hear your door fly open and Steve is standing there. 

“This is cute but its 1 am and you're in my little sisters room.” He said as he grabbed Bucky by his shirt and dragged him out of your room and down the hall back to his.

[sharkinlovewithadolphin]

Update

Hey lovelies.  Okay so it’s been over a month since my surgery, and I’m finally here with an update. Hold on tight ‘cause it’s going to get long.    I actually wanted to do some regular updates, but I just really didn’t have the energy or mood to do it.  I’ve also left out a lot, mostly because due to me repressing this entire thing, I can’t really put things together very easily (time, dates, details, etc). And because I’ve spend the last month watching and rewatching one show and movie after the other, my mind has chosen to focus on television rather than what’s been going on. Basically this entire experience is almost forgotten, even as it’s still happening. I’ll be updating this post regularly as time passes, so new info and more details will come, along with possible pictures etc. However I probably won’t be reblogging it more than once or twice (for my timezone struggling mutuals), unless I’ll decide to make phone updates, then I’ll be reblogging this post with the update, but I probably won’t, so I won’t be annoying anyone, so if you want to stay tuned about this, this post will be stored in my #updates tag. I’ll be writing down here whenever I update, so it’ll be easier to check for those interested.  Posted: 26/10 Update: 27/10

Monday 25th september I was as most of you may know, going under the knife again, this time for a jaw surgery. The day of the surgery wasn’t fun to say the least, it was early in the morning so there wasn’t many people awake and aware of my situation to send me off, but I did get some messages, and that was really nice. As I think I’ve mentioned in a previous update post, I got sick literally the day before the surgery, and that I figured that that would make them post-pone the surgery, ‘cause that’s like basic medical knowledge? Doctors very rarely choose to operate on a patient However my mom didn’t care and the nurses didn’t seem to either. Turns out they should’ve, and that in fact, I was right; I shouldn’t have had the surgery when having a flu, ‘cause not only does it make things worse, it can fuck up a lot.  Anyway, I got in at around 9am, luckily earlier than expected. I was being put to sleep through needle instead of mask which I am very grateful for, much less triggering. I was allowed to bring my phone in, so I fell asleep to the sound of music (fun fact: the OR had surprisingly good connection? not that I used it). The surgery took an hour longer than expected (so instead of 3, it turned out to be 4), the reason for that I either don’t know or can’t remember. It should’ve gone okay as far as I was told. I slept five hours afterwards, unlike the other times were I was forced to stay awake due to the blood and open wounds.  My mom told me later on that she had wanted to take a photo of me after the surgery, since I looked “so nice” compared to the previous surgeries. I didn’t have all that blood everywhere as I’ve usually had, and despite the swelling it didn’t look bad according to her. The red/blue/green/yellow/purple colors in my face hadn’t come through much then either.  I was brought to my room again late evening.  The second day was hell. Just everything. But I was out and walking at night. And I ate a little. But everything was just bad. The third day was when the swelling was at it’s maximum. Things weren’t much different from the day before, except I got more used to being in a hospital.  Thursday, the forth day, I had to walk down to the clinic (clinic at the hospital), in hospital gown and those blood-cloth-socks, which was all just.. yeah I didn’t like that. I had to walk through the cafeteria area and the hall and I couldn’t walk more than one slow step after the other and even without anxiety it was just.. very uncomfortable in every way possible. At the clinic itself, it was awful. They had to sluice(?) my mouth, it was so aggressively done I literally felt like I was being drowned. And also, hardcore stream of water directly against your newly stitched-together wounds is not a pleasant feeling in case anyone should wonder. My mom, who’d been staying with me at the hospital, insisted on going home that day. I personally didn’t want to. And the doctors didn’t recommend it either, due to the state of swelling I was in; the ear-nose-and-neck doctor was especially against it, fearing the swelling would increase around my throat. But home we went. Regrets arriving pretty quickly after. Not only was the walk from my room, down the elevator and out to the car, very uncomfortable, the wind made me feel sick af.  Doing the night, I started throwing up. And keep in mind, doing those first days I ate what all together would’ve made less than one regular one-person diner meal. So I didn’t really have anything in my stomach that could come up you know? So my stomach started cramping, trying to find something to get out. Mouth water, mucous and blood came up with stomach acid, causing my throat to hurt for days after (and when I say  hurt, I don’t mean the flu-hurt kind, I mean it felt like my throat had been turned inside-out, then polished with sandpaper, then run over and then put back in). And it just wouldn’t stop. My mom called the emergency doctor who came and gave me a shot of antiemetic. I feel asleep shortly after, for 3 hours until it was time for pills.  As for medicine and pills, I was prescripted to take daily: 8 pinemol (500mg) and 6 ibumetin (400mg). Then one laxative and 4 antiemetic.   Later on (around 2 weeks ago) I got a nasty infection around one of the stiches under my upper gums-ish. So then I had to take even more pills. Pencilllin for a week (3 times daily, to a meal), along with a stronger dosis of antiemetic (Ondansetron Aurobindo, 4mg, 2-3 times daily) pills (originally they wanted to give me a type of pill used for cancer patients treated with radiation, but since I can’t stand bad tastes, they decided on those instead. They taste like pineapple lol) and some lactic acid pills (once a day).  With the infection came a massive step-back for me. I woke up daily with gross taste and this grumsy looking stuff in my mouth, for a long time, way before I found out why. Then one night, as I was cleaning my mouth, I must have poked an even bigger hole in it, ‘cause then it just started coming out faster and more of it. I woke up at 2am that night with a massive swelling in my left cheek, and when I was woken up at around 7:40, my cheek had grown so big I could barely see out of my eyes, again. The swelling from surgery had gone down a lot, however there had been a slight difference between each sides; my left cheek have been bigger and way more sore than my right, already early on, so the infection has been there for a long time. We got an appointment at the hospital clinic and he could quickly determent that it was indeed an infection. I took my first pencillin pill the same day.  However. That night I started throwing up again and my mom ended up calling the emergency doctor again (fun story; the doctor who picked up actually previously worked for the clinic I go to, he’s even assisted to the type of surgery I had). He told my mom I threw up due to the pencillin (and that it was perfectly normal), hence me being prescripted stronger antiemetics. The next day when my mom called my doctor to get the prescription, it turns out the dosis of pain meds I’ve been given is way too much. Damaging much in fact. So my three weeks use of that can possibly have effected my liver. So that’s nice. Maximum is 8 pinemol and 3 ibumetin a day. That’s 3 x 400mg ibumetin too much daily for three weeks. That is not good. Now I take them based on need, which turns out to not be much. I take 2 pinemol in the morning, 2 at night, and then throughout the day it kinda variates. I often take 2 in the afternoon/evening due to my teeth being too sore. And that’s it. So the massive amount of painkillers was probably never even necessary.  I got the shine off tuesday, making me now able to chew in soft-only things. My first meal was fries (I literally just got out of the clinic when I asked my mom if we could go get fries onn the way home lol). I got homemade pizza for dinner. And I finally ate ice cream without having to melt it into liquid and then drink it. It’s nice eating instead of drinking. it’s nice getting to eat instead of drink my food, really.   The infection is now gone, and I took my last pincillin pill this morning, so that’s nice. However, when I got the shine off, they changed my rubberbands and the position of them, to a place where the hooks are so small and almost invisible, so when I put them on I’m scratching hole into my gums. I’m going into the clinic again tomorrow to have it checked, and hopefully fixed.  Anyway it’s late and I should go to sleep, so I’ll post now even though I’m far from done. I might get around to edit it tomorrow though, then also write how things went at the clinic.  I’ll end this by giving a giant thanks to everyone who’s sent me messages, all the encouraging few but important people rooting for me. Especially @hamykia for regularly asking me for updates and how I’ve been doing. It meant so much to me, ‘cause there’s been so many people who seemed to not give a shit or even forget what type of situation I’ve been in and still am in. As I’ve told you before, feeling like you legitimately cared for me has been one of the better things to keep me going through this.  And ofc also Meg for being the only one around every single day. Even when it’s shortly, I can always count on you being around. And also some of my mutuals who’ve reached out to me and given me their wishes and kind words, also those before the surgery. Thank you guys. :) And as an end, I’d like to just thank the nurses at the teeth-mouth and jaw surgical ward. They treated me better than the nurses did at the childrens ward has ever done, which was shocking. They were extraordinarily patient and understanding, and knew exactly what they were dealing with. I was in good hands. Thank you.  Update:  - I got the hook changed and it’s a lot easier now. Left side is still a struggle though and in the right side I've accidentally cut into my gums like once or twice. But the new hooks are adjustable so I guess it’s just a matter of testing and getting used to. - I found out today that they’ve kept from me yet another surgery detail. I won’t get the feeling back in my palate for around a year. And the feeling in my chin and lower lip still isn’t there which they say “is normal”. So that’s really nice. Fuck you doctors. :) (note: because I from the very first mention of the surgery told them very clearly that I did not want to go through with it, they’ve done everything to make it seem like nothing, something simple and struggle-less, keeping details hidden from me, sugar coding things, and so on. I didn’t even know I had to get the shine on until a couple of days prior surgery. I didn’t even know where they would make the cuts. Back when I asked, all they said was it was going to be inside my mouth; as if that wasn’t obvious. And I didn’t know that an effect of the surgery has done so my chin is 1/3 size of what it was pre-surgery. I’m very angry because of this to say the least. I feel like l’ve been unwillingly lead to pure hell all because I a. trusted them and b. they already planned the whole thing and because of my anxiety and personality I can’t let people down when they’ve spend weeks planning something. I should’ve never had this surgery, and the regrets just keeps getting worse and worse with every passing day.) - One of the four screws (which I btw hadn’t been told about either, and found out about days after as I was cleaning my mouth), has grown into my gums. I have a screw under my skin now, a screw I wasn’t even told was going to be there, now has to be cut free if they have to use them. And as a side note, I don’t know how they’re going to get them out after this whole shit show is over with, and they avoided telling me so now I’m stuck with this entire thing without knowing the end of it.   

* PLEASE feel free to ask any questions. You can send me an ask or hit me up with a message. I’ll reply through both, to anything you may have any thoughts on. I might add your question to this post, though unmentioned unless requested. 

[alwaysamusedao3]

Born of Ice, Raised with Fire: Memories

Hey. Uh.

It’s been about five years since I’ve touched this series, and I’ll be honest, I don’t remember a lot of the structure I built up for it. I probably couldn’t get back into writing this series if I tried. The synopsis of Memories is here.

Regardless.

About five years ago, I did start writing the last installment. It is incomplete, and the synopsis of the rest is in another post. But, because my readers are awesome, here are chapters 1 & 2 of Part Three: Memories.

1.

In a frozen wasteland, a vertical line of light appeared in the air. Green light, to be exact. After a few moment, it extended horizontally, and became an oval instead, growing larger. A black-haired man stepped through, his foot sinking into the snow. Having not expected this, he yelped and fell forwards, hitting the ground with an “Oof!”

A woman stepped through next, and promptly yelped, falling on top of him. “Sorry, Loki! I'm sorry!” She said and scrambled off of him as he moaned, sitting up and wiping the snow off of his face, looking around.

“So,” the woman said. “Where are we?”

“Jotunheim,” Loki replied, standing up and brushing the fluffy snow off his clothes. He then helped her up and looked around, shivering.

“I thought we were going to Nidavellir,” she said, looking around as she tried to warm herself up.

“I changed my mind,” he shrugged, but he wore a wicked grin. “You were complaining of the cold too much.”

“Oh, ha ha,” she said, teeth chattering. “Is there a w-warming spell or someth-thing?”

“Wha- Oh! My apologies, Darcy,” he waved a hand at her and she sighed, warming up a bit. She tugged her hat over her ears and rearranged her scarf as Loki continued to look around. “This way, I think.,” he said, pointing.

“You think?” She said, raising an eyebrow, shouldering her backpack.

“I've only been here once before,” Loki said indignantly, beginning to trudge through the snow. Darcy followed, glad that he was in front of her.

“Shouldn't you, like, turn blue?” She asked. “They don't exactly like Asgardians, from what you've told me.”

“True,” Loki mused. “But... well...”

“Still don't like being blue?” She grinned. “Oh, c'mon, it's not bad, Smurf-face.”

“I resent that nickname,” Loki sighed and she laughed.

“Maybe you'll be less cold?” She offered. “Besides, it's a bit disrespectful.”

Loki huffed and finally shifted into his Jotnar form. “Happy?”

“Delighted,” she grinned, linking arms with him. “So where're we going?”

“The Temple,” Loki replied. “I'm not exactly sure where everything is, but it shouldn't be too hard to figure out. And Helbindi said I'd be welcome here any time, so I suppose I just have to find him.”

“Helbindi is you're brother?” Darcy asked.

“Sibling,” Loki corrected. “Or sosken.”

“Oh, right, duh,” she said. “Thanks.”

“That's okay,” Loki smiled. Darcy looked up at him.

“So do you like the whole gender-neutral stuff too?”

“What's it to you?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at her. She shrugged.

“I was just wondering, since you’re genderfluid,” she said, then yelped as she nearly tripped. Loki stopped dead.

“What?”

“Genderfluid,” Darcy repeated, also stopping. “You know, sometimes a guy, sometimes a girl, sometimes kinda meh on the whole gender thing.” She shrugged. “It's a new-ish term, but it's getting to be considered pretty normal. At least, at home. I'm not sure about on Asgard.”

“I-” Loki blinked. “Genderfluid?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “Fluid about your gender.”

Loki frowned and continued walking. Darcy walked behind him again, deciding that trudging through snow next to him wasn't worth it, especially since Loki was already creating a clear path.

“The snow glows white on the mountain tonight, not a footprint to be seen...” Darcy sand under her breath and Loki groaned.

“Can you please stop singing that infernal song?” He asked.

“Wha-at?” She said, pretending to look offended. “It's a good song! And Idina Menzel is the best! I should totally make you listen to her as Elphaba in Wicked.”

Loki rolled his eyes and Darcy poked his shoulder. “So, are you genderfluid? 'Cuz you never answered the question.”

“It's none of your business, Darcy,” Loki said, not looking back at her.

“It's fine! Really, I don't care, I'm just curious,” Darcy huffed and said “Can you walk a little slower, please? I'm not really in shape!”

“Maybe,” Loki drawled. “If you answer a riddle.”

“Fine, fine,” Darcy grumbled.

“It cannot be seen, cannot be felt,/Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt./It lies behind stars and under hills,/And empty holes it fills./It comes out first and follows after,/Ends life, kills laughter,” Loki said menacingly. Darcy huffed out a laugh.

“It's the dark,” she replied. “It's, like, the second riddle in The Hobbit.”

“The what?” Loki looked back at her, frowning, and she sighed.

“Never mind. Now slow down!”

They continued along in silence. Well, mostly silence. Darcy was humming to herself, some tune that Loki didn't recognize, but was sure to be irritating with lyrics, so he didn't ask. Instead, he tuned her out and listened to the wind. It was almost silent around them, and the land wasn't as gray as it had been when he had first come with Thor. It seemed like so long ago, but in reality, he'd only been banished from Asgard three months ago. Since then, he'd gotten himself an apartment in New York, but still hung around Darcy and Jane's house. He hadn't seen Thor since turning his hair blue before leaving, which was on purpose.

It was nice to not have any responsibilities, Loki thought. It was also nice to have some time away from an idiot of an elder brother, and an overprotective mother. Odin was... Well, Loki had mostly made his peace with Odin.

Mostly.

He couldn't help but feel there was just a a little part of him that didn't trust Odin anymore. Just one little sliver of hurt that whispered, You betrayed me. Loki had tried to shake it off, however it kept coming back. He'd told Darcy about it one day, when he'd brought her to his apartment for tea and cookies. She had been sympathetic, and had told him it would go away with time, so Loki had mostly ignored it. After all, he wouldn't have any need to see Odin for ten years.

“Do you want a granola bar?” Darcy pulled Loki out of his sulking and he looked at her. She held one out while munching on the other.

“What is it?”

“Umm...” She looked at the wrapper. “Oats and choco-chip. It's good.”

Loki shrugged and accepted it. The texture was weird, but he could live with it. When he finished, she took the wrapper and shoved it into her backpack, taking out a water bottle instead.

“Is there another one?” Loki asked, nodding at the bottle.

“No, but you can share mine,” she said, offering it. Loki politely declined and she grinned. “What, afraid you'll catch girl cooties?”

“Catch- Sorry, what?” Loki frowned at her and she grinned.

“Oh, nothing. Flashback to elementary school here,” she said. She offered it again and said “You sure, Green eyes?”

Loki reluctantly took the water bottle, then handed it back, ignoring the smug look on her face. She put it back into her pack and shouldered it again.

After a few more minutes of waking, Loki suddenly stopped walking. Darcy walked into him and said “Hey! Loki!”

“We're being watched,” he murmured, just loud enough for her to hear. Darcy stopped and looked around, then slung her pack off and pulled out her taser. Loki looked around and called “Who goes there?” There was silence.

Darcy suddenly let out a startled yelp as someone tanked her back. Loki whipped around, pulling out a knife, but stopped when he saw a small, pure white Jotun standing there, eyes a light violet. There was a light blue scarf wrapped around zir head, and ze pressed a knife to Darcy's throat.

“State your name and business,” the Jotun hissed. “Strangers are unwelcome here.”

Loki straightened and put his knife away, raising his hands. “I am Loki,” he said, slowly. “Formerly of Asgard. I've come to find my blood brother, Helbindi.”

“Farbauti's kin?” Ze narrowed zir eyes.

“Yes,” Loki said. Zir eyes looked over his face for a moment. Then, ze released Darcy, putting away the knife and taking a step back, bowing formally.

“My apologies, your Highness,” ze said. “I had to make sure. Who is this?” Ze looked at Darcy.

“Darcy. Lewis,” Darcy replied. “Of, uh, Midgard.”

The Jotun looked surprised. “A human?”

“My friend,” Loki said. “Who are you?”

“Of course, of course, my apologies,” the Jotun repeated, bowing again. Ze then straightened and smiled. “Zet Agnoda Svithakith, at your service.”

Agnoda. The name jiggled something in Loki's memory. He frowned and said “Thrym's child?”

Agnoda looked surprised, then smiled. “Yes, Thrym is my far.” Ze reached down and picked up the taser where Darcy had dropped it, handing it back to her. “I apologize for the fright, Zet Darcy.”

“Zet?” Darcy frowned.

“A formal term,” Loki explained. “Like, 'miss,' or 'mister.'”

“Ooh, I get it,” Darcy nodded. “Okay. I'll try not to mess up.”

Agnoda smiled at the exchange and said “The palace is not far from here. I will guide you.”

“Thank you,” Loki said, smiling. “We've been walking for some time.”

“I can imagine,” Agnoda replied, taking lead. Loki watched zir; ze had a quiver of arrows on zir back, and a bow on her shoulder, as well as several knives. Loki blinked.

“Why didn't you just shoot us?” He asked. Agnoda looked around and walked backwards.

“Because you're Jotnar,” ze replied. “And ze is not,” ze indicated Darcy.

“I'd prefer she and her pronouns, if you don't mind,” Darcy piped up.

“My apologies, ma'am,” Agnoda said, accepting it graciously. “To answer your question, I was curious. You are also ygmi, like I am, so you're bound to have magic of some sort.”

Loki nodded. “Thank you.”

“You are welcome.” Agnoda turned and walked straight again, silent. Before long, they reached what appeared to be a fortress. Darcy gave a low, impressed whistle, and Loki couldn't help but agree; it was made of gray stone and ice, and the walls were at least as tall as the ones in Asgard, if not taller. Darcy moved a bit closer towards Loki. It was an intimidating sight.

“Halt! Who goes there?” A voice called.

“Zet Agnoda,” Agnoda called.

“And those two?” The Jotun called.

“Prin Loki Farbautikith, and Miss Darcy Lewiskith,” Agnoda called back. “Will you allow is passage into the city?”

“Depends,” the voice came back. “What's the password?”

“You're a drittsekk, Yrgol,” Agnoda replied with a smirk and Yrgol began to laugh, opening the gates.

“Better watch your language, Ag,” ze said as they walked in. Agnoda ignored zim and ze bowed at Loki as he and Darcy passed.

Loki looked around as Agnoda led them through the passage, and Loki realized just how thick the wall was. They reached the other side and Darcy stopped in her tracks, eyes wide.

“Fucking hell,” she breathed and Agnoda gave her a grin, lowering the scarf from her head. The city was huge, Jotnar rushing around through the market. But what Loki hadn't anticipated were the colors.

They were everywhere. Yellows, and reds, and greens, and purples, and every color imaginable filled his vision and Darcy took off her glasses, wiping them on her shirt before putting them back on. Agnoda smiled and said “Welcome, your Highness, to the City of Edelstenr.”

 2.

Agnoda led them through the city, Loki taking hold of Darcy's hand so she wouldn't get lost. Jotnar were dressed in robes and shawls, and most wore jewelry somewhere on them, be it rings, or bracelets, or earrings. Some, like Agnoda had done before, had wrapped scarves around their heads. Children ran about in little more than loincloths sometimes, and Darcy “oooh'd” at some jewelry.

“Jane would love to analyze that stuff,” she whispered and Loki grinned. At least it was easier to spot Agnoda here; zir albinism made zim stand out in the crowd, unlike in the snow. People stopped to say hello to zim, and ze paused here and there to say hello back, then continued to lead Loki. Loki noticed, however, that Darcy and he attracted more than a fair amount of attention.

“They must think you two odd,” Agnoda explained when Darcy asked. “Prin Loki is clearly Jotnar, so they are confused as to why ze wears Asgardian clothes. With you, well...” She smiled. “Most would mistake you for Aesir, or Vanir, if not for your... unusual style of clothing.”

Darcy frowned and pushed her glasses up her nose. “How much farther?”

“Not far now,” Agnoda said. “We're almost- Ah! Hei! Hei! Thrym-far!”

Loki looked around to see Thrym standing by a vender, purchasing something. Ze looked around at his child's calls and grinned.

“Hei, kin.” Ze finished buying and put zir wares into a cloth bag around zir wrist. Ze them walked over and spotted Loki.

“And if it isn't Prince Loki,” ze said, looking him up and down. “You look well. Who's your friend?” Ze nodded at Darcy.

“This is Miss Darcy,” Loki said. “She's of Midgard.”

“Midgard?” Thrym's eyebrows raised. “Truly?” Ze bent slightly sp as to get a better look at her. Darcy grinned and waved a little.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hallo,” Thrym said, smiling and waving. His hands were massive compared to hers, but she didn't seem daunted by this. Thrym straightened and said “Would you mind if I walked with you for a short while?”

“Not at all,” Loki said, smiling.

“Far, I can take that, if you'd like to take Prin Loki the rest of the way,” Agnoda said, pointing to the bag.

“Thank you, Agga,” Thrym replied and handed it to zir. Ze smiled and ran off.

“So, you've met my Agnoda,” Thrym said as Loki, Darcy, and ze walked off again. “How do you like zim?”

“Ze's nice,” Loki replied. “Kind. Scared us a bit outside. We were lost, and ze helped us.”

“Ah,” Thrym nodded. “I assume ze held Miss Darcy hostage until you gave zir answered?”

Loki only nodded and smiled. Thrym laughed a little. “Good ung.”

Darcy only sighed a bit. “Are you guys talking about me?”

“Yes, why?” Loki frowned at her.

“Well, I can't understand a damn think any of you are saying, except the fact that I distinctly heard 'Miss Darcy' go by.”

Loki blinked at her for a moment before realizing that he and Thrym had started speaking Jotniri, and he had slipped out of Allspeak.

“Sorry, Darcy,” Loki said, smiling. “I forgot you don't have Allspeak. We're talking about Agnoda and how she captured you.”

“Oh,” Darcy nodded. “Okay. At least I didn't lose my taser.”

“Taser?” Thrym frowned and Darcy grinned.

“Yeah! It's... hold on...” She reached into her pack and pulled out the black box. “It shoots, um, lightning at people. And shocks them. Usually knocks 'em out. Put Thor into the hospital once, but he didn't have any godly powers at the time.” Darcy looked proud of herself.

“You rendered Thor unconscious?” Thrym looked amused. “I've fought Thor before. Are you sure it was him?”

“Yup,” Darcy said, nodding as she put the black box of doom into her coat pocket. “My dad gave it to me when I turned eighteen.”

Thrym nodded, but looked amused. “You're only eighteen?”

“What?” Darcy frowned. “Humans only live for, like, a century! At most! I think the oldest woman is, like, a hundred and fifteen.”

“Really? So short?”

“Well, how long do you guys live for?” Darcy asked, crossing her arms. Thrym smiled.

“Longer than Aesir do, but not by very long. They only live to about five-thousand years, or so. Jotnar live for about six-thousand, however the eldest is reaching their eleven-thousandth in a few centuries.”

“Cool,” Darcy said, grinning. “Hey, Loki, say hi to my great-great-great-grandkids, 'kay?”

Loki snorted. “We'll see.”

Darcy stuck her tongue out at him, then paused. “But wait, if Jotnar live until they're six-thousand, then... How old are you again?”

Loki sighed. “Darcy, does it really-”

“Yes,” she said, pulling out her phone and flipping to a calculator. “You said you were about a thousand-five-hundred, right?”

“He's one-thousand-four-hundred and eighty... three?” Thrym said, then frowned. “The war ended... Yes, eighty-three.”

Darcy looked at Loki, who sighed and said “Eighty-four. I just had a name-day.”

“Wait, what?” Darcy frowned at him. “It was your birthday and you didn't tell me?”

“Oh, yes,” Thrym said, nodding.

Darcy frowned, then put the numbers into a calculator. She then shrugged. “Eh,” she said. “What do you know? It only took about four years off. You're twenty now.” She grinned. “Thor's seven years older.”

“Can we just go by Aesir terms?” Loki sighed, rubbing his eyes.

“You're younger than I am,” she pointed out, giggling.

“On the contrary, my dear; I'm more than a thousand years older,” Loki said, grinning.

“You know what I mean, doofus,” she said, playfully thwacking his shoulder. A few minutes later, they reached the gates of the palace. Thrym got them in without too much trouble, and sent a guard to go tell Helbindi that they'd arrived.

The palace seemed to be made of ice, except precious stones and metals were placed into it, and there were carvings in the walls that had been colored. Loki and Darcy hung back, and Thrym slowed down once ze realized that they wanted to look around. It wasn't long before Loki realized they were being followed. He whipped around and caught two red eyes peeking out at him from behind a tapestry. The eyes widened, and their owner ducked back. Loki blinked and frowned.

“Thrym?” He asked.

“Yes, Loki?” Thrym replied, looking back.

“Who's that behind the tapestry there?” Loki nodded his head to indicate and Thrym looked over.

“Prin Byleist,” ze said after a moment. “Ze's young, and very curious, if not shy.”

Loki looked around and saw the eyes looking again. Thrym smiled a little and murmured “Ze is probably fascinated by you and your friend.”

Darcy heard and glanced over at the Jotnar Prince, grinning. “Hi, there! I'm Darcy,” she called and Loki could have groaned for her tactlessness.

Byleist hid back behind the tapestry and Darcy sat on the floor. “Well, don't be afraid,” she said. “I'm not very threatening.”

“She's right,” Loki called. “Unless, of course, you insult her taste in music.”

“My taste in music isn't that bad!” Darcy said, and went off to go follow Thrym again. Loki soon straightened as well and followed, glancing back to see Byleist peering out again. As soon as the child realized Loki saw zim, ze raised a hand and gave a cautious wave. Loki returned the wave, and the child gave him a tentative smile before running off. Grinning to himself, Loki turned to follow the sound of Darcy’s voice and Thrym’s deep laughter.