#so like a lot of the stuff wasn't slice of life really which probably helped me like it more

[50c14lly4nx10u5]

mmm i don't really think i get into fandoms often

proobbbbably cuz i'm not a big shipper and shipping tends to be a big part of fandom unfortunately

i was into shipping in my first fandom (sanders sides) but then after that i just. tend to find fics that seem interesting and if they have a ship they have a ship. i'm either neutral to a ship and read a fic with the ship cuz the ship was alonside something that interested me (ex. time travel. fucking love time travel...) or hate a ship (so many pokemon fics that seemed interesting that i didn't read because i hate serena x ash sm... sorry)

tho sometimes i will in fact get bored and scroll and read a pure shipping fic if i'm interested enough in the ship. and it's only like. a oneshot.

i also don't like slice of life stuff all too much so that may be a contributing factor

i mainly like shipping fanart that shit is cute

in conclusion. i think. there should be more gen fics. thank you

[butchsophiewalten]

2/27/24 Twitter Space Recap

Martin, Kyle and Eva held a twitter space earlier today, featuring a short Q&A portion like halfway through! Here's some stuff they talked about:

Martin talks about how "Bon", in his behavior and manner of speech, was inspired in part by Paul Dano's Riddler. "Very unhinged and childish."

The "Wonderland" scene at the end of TWF4 was written by Eva, and Martin talks about how the vision he had for that scene was a lot less subtle, and involved Bon's behavior being much more obviously villainous. But when he shared it with Eva, she came back to him with an idea for a much more subtle and manipulative approach to Bon, which he though was "such a cool vision for [the] character."

-Eva mentions how when writing for "Bon", she couldn't help but get actually upset and frustrated with how manipulative he was being.

-Martin mentions how he's always kind of imagined Bon to be in contrast to Felix, where Felix's behavior is very regretful and cowardly, Bon is just unabashedly a "very, very evil person."

-Eva mentions how the decision to have them voice "Bon" in TWF4 was made only a few weeks before the episode's release. Martin says he'd love to talk about that more, but he's still very attached to the idea he originally had for Bon's voice, and wants to revisit it eventually.

-Eva mentions that a lot of the episode's most iconic and impactful scenes were made "only a few weeks ago". The intro scene with Edd & Molly, The Jack and Felix scenes, and the Wonderland scene at the end were all made extremely recently before the episode's publication. Martin talks about how when he broke TWF4 into 3 episodes, he realized the new TWF4 seemed honestly like it was going to be really boring, and he thought people were going to hate it, so he went back and started adding small scenes to give the episode more interest.

Martin says he thinks those scenes elevate the episode so much, but he was under so much time crunch when making them that he wasn't really taking the time to appreciate them, and was honestly really disappointed with and embarrassed by them immediately after he finished, and was really surprised when TWF4 got such a positive reception. He brings up the Jack scene specifically, saying he thought it was so shit when he first finished it, that it didn't turn at all like he imagined, how he felt like he was just screaming into a microphone as Jack, and how the scene didn't have as much animation as he originally envisioned. He says that he's come around to appreciate it more, though.

-Martin says that between 4, 5, and 6, episode 4 is his least favorite, and that episode 6 is his favorite episode in the series.

-Kyle says he's really insecure about his performance as Charles in TWF4, that he wasn't really used to the voice yet and wasn't really confident in performing it.

-Martin recalls a funny tweet he saw begging for TWF5 to be a slice of life episode, and says that it actually kind of is a lot like that, just not in a wholesome way. He says TWF5 is a much calmer episode.

-He says episode 6 is "such a fucking nightmare", and that it's "a very traumatic moment for these characters", and is a turning point for one specific character. He specifies, though, that it doesn't mean the episode is going to have a lot of analog horror jumpscares or anything.

-Martin mentions that in 1974 Charles is divorced, but is very recently divorced. He says that Charles and his wife (who the thinks is named Emily, but doesn't remember exactly) divorced "a few months before everything goes down", and that if Charles didn't go missing, they probably would have resolved things between each other. Probably not that they would have remarried, but that they absolutely love each other and would have stayed close as friends.

Martin specifically contrasts this to Felix, saying that Charles is a very selfless person who can recognize that this relationship he's in is bad for both him and his wife, and is willing to take the steps to separate but stay friends, where Felix would never have done that despite being in a genuinely very similar situation with Linda.

-Kyle says that his favorite dynamic between any of the characters in The Walten Files is the dynamic between Charles and Susan, and Martin says that their dynamic is very endearing. He says that "they really care for each other", and that they're "the bestest of friends".

Martin mentions, however, that he was really afraid that after episode 4, he was going to start seeing people shipping Charles and Susan. He says he definitely wrote them to be just like a good platonic friendship.

-Martin starts talking about Jack & Felix's friendship. "Felix & Jack, to me, I've always wrote them as people who seem very social and friendly, but are actually very isolated people, in their own way. So, Jack, I think the only person Jack is completely and entirely honest with is Rosemary. That's the only person that knows Jack very well. And Felix is just, Like, someone that doesn't- people wonder, like, 'oh, how could Jack not know about Felix's addiction if they've been friends for years,' and I think that Felix would definitely be the type of person to try his hardest to hide it from Jack.... Felix looks up to Jack. To me, Felix sees Jack as this person that he would love to be. So, even if there's some love there, some affection, there's also a lot of envy. That Felix is trying his hardest to be on this person's good side, so he would not tell Jack about this."

-Kyle mentions that a personal pet peeve of his is when people come up with ship names for characters for are married, like "Jackmary" or "Homarge". He says that Jophie gets to be an exception, because they aren't married, and Martin jokes that they could get married and still be Jophie, as "Sophie Jophie" and "Jenny Jophie".

Kyle and Eva joke that if Sophie and Jenny got married, they would do rock, paper, scissors to decide who's taking on the other's last name, and Kyle asks Martin who would win. He says Jenny is "great at rock, paper, scissors." Martin says "Yeah, I think Sophie would change her name to Sophie Letterson if they got married... I think she would not like to be reminded of the last name of everyone that's missing, y'know?"

-"Does "Bon" ever reveal his own motive for his actions in the series, or is it never explained?" "He doesn't try to hide it, to some people, but he doesn't reveal it. He's not like your classic kind of villain, and goes 'ah, yes, my plan is doing this and to do this'. I think something I've kinda learned is that actions speak more than just outright saying it, y'know? It would be really boring if Bon just, like, sat down and explained what he was doing. I think it's more fun to see him actually go through his plan and keep you guessing, until it's really clear what he's trying to do."

-"Do we have any small videos on Chris, or will he have any mentions in the episodes?" "Ah, I think he's mentioned- He appears in photos, but not mentioned. The little I can say of Chris is that I think he's someone who knows how to, like, turn a situation in his favor. He's a real go-getter kind of character, and I think it's a really- the dynamics he has later on in the series with the main characters- they're all really interesting. I really like Chris... I really love this character. I think, uh, there's still a long way to show it- there's a design we have for Chris that's one of my favorite designs we have for a character in the series, it's so cool. It's, uh, the design you see in episode 2, where he has like, the caretaker outfit, uh, he has a different design later on, and I really love that." Eva chimes in, asking, "Oh, is that the 1982 design?", to which Martin responds. "Yes. I fucking love that design... I can't wait for people to see his role in 1982, because, uh, it- it's way different than what people think it is. I think people just think 'Oh, he's just like one more employee', but- augh, I can't say anything."

Eva responds saying "One thing I will say is that people- Obviously, there is no like, "correct" understanding of Chris at the moment, because we know nothing about him, but I think a lot of people seem to be very, um, have a very different expectation of who he is." to which Martin says "He's silly. I-I- think Chris is a really good blend of a silly character, but also a very serious character when he needs to be. I think Chris is very similar to Charles in a lot of ways, just less naive in some aspects."

-Someone asks for a Charles fact, and Martin says that he's someone that will always put his daughter first before everything, and Martin likes to think that he would bring Lily to work a lot, and that everyone would make time to play with her, even if they were working on something important. He adds that it'd be funny if Felix ended up telling Lily that Santa didn't exist, or something like that, on accident.

-Someone asks for a Brian Stells Fact. Martin announces, with a lot of fanfare, that Brian's type of women would be "middle-aged single mothers", and that he definitely would've tried flirting with Rosemary after Jack's disappearance. He then posts this drawing to Twitter:

-They keep joking about Brian trying to hit on Rose, saying that he'd show up at the Walten household before Jack's disappearance, and that Jack would meet him at the door with a shotgun. Martin jokes that Jack would shoot a perfect outline around Brian as a warning, and that he's actually a really good shooter, and that there would be "more on that in episode 5."

-"If there's one thing we can say about Chris, it's that Chris is like a more mature Jesse Pinkman. He-he has like that silliness. He's like the season 4-season 5 version of Jesse."

-Martin says he got approached by a company that's currently producing the Harmony & Horror VHS tape for Battington, wanting to make a similar VHS of episodes 1-6 of The Walten Files, but it couldn't be done because of the amount of copyrighted material in the series. So Martin pitched an idea of an entire 10-episode season of a Showstoppers cartoon in the style of the merch videos to release Direct-To-VHS. They say that after the tapes have sold, they'll release the entire series to YouTube. They all seem very enthused and excited to work on it.

-"I have this idea that CyberTelly should be like the lawyer of the Showstoppers. Whenever they fuck up, he cleans everything up behind the scenes, and that's why everything goes back to normal the next episode."

-"Susan or Linda Thompson fact?" "I think the only other person Linda talked to when she was leaving was Susan. Because they were good friends, so she definitely wanted to say goodbye to her."

-"What was the hardest scene to animate in TWF4?" "The hardest scene to animate was probably, um... the Felix scene, when he's on the river. Most of the other scenes are in very dark places, so that saves a lot of time because I don't have to add that much detail to everything. But with the Felix scene it's so lit up, it's in the middle of the day. Augh, that was such a pain in the ass to animate, so yeah."

-Martin says the planned Showstoppers cartoon would consist of 10 11-minute episodes, and that there's going to be a lot of recurring characters, and a lot of characters that had to be designed to fit in with the style of the series.

-Someone asks what would be Rosemary's favorite character she designed, outside of Sha. Martin answers that Sha was definitely her favorite, but next would definitely be Billy, because he's always imagined that she really loves clowns. Her ranking of favorite characters would go: Sha, Billy, Bon, Boozoo, and last would be Banny, because she's just Bon but Purple.

-"I think Edd would be a very mischievous kind of fellow. And he would try to like, do a lot of pranks and stuff like that. I think between Sophie, Edd, and Molly, he'd be the most rebellious of all. He'd be very, like, 'Augh, stupid house! Stupid fathers!* I'm grounded!' and, uh, Molly would be more like, 'No! Edd! You can't do this, you can't blow up the school, that's not right!'" (*My Note: By 'fathers' Martin definitely means 'parents'. This is a really common mistake to make when speaking English and Spanish is your first language, and is a slipup he's made in Spaces before.)

-"Was Molly a feral child?" "Nah, I think she was very behaved."

-Martin says that Rosemary's sister's name is Laura Peony, and that she's intended to appear in Season Two. He says that Rosemary and her sister don't really speak too much, and that Rosemary doesn't like her family that much, and doesn't speak to either her sister or her mother.

-Kyle asks Martin to list a favorite drink for everyone in the Walten Family. Martin complains about this question, saying that it's so much work, and asking how the hell he's supposed to know that, but spitballs some answers anyway. He says that Jack would like Ramazzotti or Wine, that Sophie would probably like Mojito, that Rosemary would like Champagne, and that Edd & Molly are too young to drink :( .

Kyle chastises Martin for his interpretation of the question, and tells him to pick non-alcoholic answers. Martin says that Molly would like Pepsi, and that Edd would like liquid mercury. He also jokes that Jack would have a gallon of root beer in his office.

[roseaesynstylae]

Star Wars: Republic Commando: Hard Contact, The Remaining Chapters

Okay, this is different. It's basically a speed-run, going over everything that I feel is interesting in the remainder of the book. Part of it is exhaustion, and part of it is that most of this book is actually pretty decent and I decided to just focus on the stuff that stood out to me.

Chapter 10

"'I meant I could help with martial skills. If you want to train with your lightsaber.'

'I'd probably end up slicing off something you'd miss later.'"

Okay, this little exchange is pretty funny.

Chapter 13

"Weequay didn't all look the same. She knew this one. He had chased her across a barq field. He was a rapist and a murderer, not that the descriptions set him apart from any other of Hokan's thugs. She reached for her lightsaber."

That was my reaction to the word rapist being used in Star Wars. Nothing much else to say, I just really wasn't expecting the word to actually be written out on page.

Chapter 14

"She was a Jedi. Skirata said they were fine people, but they didn't -- and couldn't -- care about anyone."

Okay!

Before I get to the meat of it, I'd like to say that that's a much nicer statement than I ever expected from Kal Skirata about the Jedi. I don't think Traviss had his personality down yet.

And now... "They didn't care about anyone?" "They couldn't care about anyone?" Uhhh...

*in a very fake nice way* Did you by any chance forget that Anakin -- Anakin -- said "Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is essential to a Jedi's life. So you might say, that we are encouraged to love." Did you not notice how much the various members of the Jedi Order clearly care for each other? Do you not remember that the Jedi help people and repeatedly show display compassion to those they help?

Jedi-Bashing: 18

Chapter 15

"So how do we justify what we are doing now? Breeding men without choice, and without freedom, to fight and die for us? When do the means justify the end? Where is our society heading? What are our ideals, and what are we without them? If we give in to expedience this way, where do we draw the line between ourselves and those we find unacceptably evil? I have no answer, Master. Do you?"

-- Jedi Padwan Bardan Jusik, addressing the Jedi Council

(I only wish I could communicate as much disdain as this one expression.)

I'll just leave you with a couple points.

The Jedi did not order the clone army. Sifo-Dyas did. Yes, he was a Jedi, but his order was explicitly unknown to the Council.

The Jedi did not want to enter the war, nor use soldiers like that, but they had no choice.

Basically all Jedi we see (aside from Pong Krell) care a lot about the troopers under their command. (For further information, see Koon, Plo.)

In conclusion, shut up and don't lecture the Council on things they definitely have been concerned about.

Jedi-Bashing: 26 (one for each sentence in that paragraph)

Di'kut Count: 6

So, in conclusion...

All I have to say about this book is two things. One, this is probably the RepComm novel I'm probably going to like the most. Two, I can't believe that the Jedi hate in this series is a case of unreliable narrators. Look at all the little jabs in this book, where there's no physical appearance from the notorious Kal Skirata, where there's no reason for anyone to really think of the Jedi negatively. But, it can still be ignored. That's not something I can say about the rest of the books.

Brace yourselves, people. Triple Zero is coming and with it, Republic Commando's most infamous character.

Main Post

[fanganedit-beach]

Iroha... the painter... baby..

I apologize for the late response , gathering the screenshots for the analysis was difficult lol. So i'll cover Iroha's fte's on this post and if this analysis gets support i'll reblog with a follow up analysis of her actions in game (though i'll mention stuff about the kg here of course)

Iroha isn't a decieving character, so analyzing her fte's were much easier than the other ones i've watched and tried to analyze (which i'll try to cover later) Anyways let's get started, First lets start with this.

In iroha's first fte, she explains painting helps to calm her down when she's in a rough spot. We'll stick a pin on this as this point will become importantish later. Taking what she says and thinking about what happens with her throughout the game I believe she means rough spot as in when she's stressed, I think it'd make the most sense she'd paint while stressed since this has probably been a built in response to pressure since her childhood, so its not necessarily the painting itself that calms her down than it being just a natural response after such a long time of being pressured to paint.

Also in her first event, Sora asks iroha if she can watch iroha paint, iroha says yes of course but she also responds with this as well. Iroha doesn't stutter much during her events so I think this is a way of showing the pressure of having someone watch her paint, once again because of her backstory iroha was watched a lot while she tried to draw so even if sora had no ill will, her watching iroha paint probably reminded her of that time (only a little bit) and it caused her to feel pressured, thus her feeling the need to work extra hard in sora's presence.

This isn't really too relevent, but I thought it'd be a neat thing to add

These are the kind of paintings iroha usually paints, she does all sorts actually.

But she also on rare occasions also draws

Manga. However her events make it clear that she's not very good at drawing it. For whatever reason the talent given to her with divine luck seems to not apply to her manga drawings.

This is also another addition I thought would be good to add

This is something iroha says during her second fte if i remember right, its one of her responses to sora's multiple choice answer. From what I remember sora clarified something she said to iroha because she didn't understand what she meant the first time. This is actually pretty common for iroha in her event to not really understand what sora means at times, So Iroha has difficulty understanding stuff people say sometimes, which in full honesty I actually kinda relate to, I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this too.

Now, iroha's favorite types of manga!

She likes slice of life and comedy, its understandable that iroha going through what she did would just want to enjoy light hearted things, I could just be reading into it too much here though.

But what really gets iroha into a certain manga is the characters, if she likes the design of the characters and they are cool she'll enjoy it no matter what genre. This is also just another relatable moment with iroha tbh.

Back to deep analysis, I thought this would be important to add because usually iroha is depicted as selfish but when she realizes she's only talking about her own interests, she apologizes (again relatable) So I thought i'd just add this to remember that while iroha acts selfishly its mostly survival wise and as a person iroha is pretty considerate of others feelings.

After this sora actually encourages iroha to draw her own manga, and while iroha is hesitant at first;

Because sora told her so iroha decides to, though with the amount of dots i think iroha honestly wasn't sure about doing it but since sora insisted she didn't bother to talk back. I might be looking too deeply into this part but this might be a small piece of evidence showing that iroha has a in general issue of saying no.

On to her next event, iroha shows sora her manga but as mentioned earlier, it didn't turn out as great due to her given talent not working with manga drawings. So sora says it doesn't look that great and the story wasn't understandable.

Iroha obviously doesn't take it well, and while she quickly cheers up I can't help but feeling bad for her in this moment, it makes me think of all the times back during her past where she would be constantly scolded for not drawing in a way that was satisfying to her family.

Like I said she quickly cheers up, though with her using her nervous sprite during this line I can't help but think she just said this to comfort herself. Honestly it just made me think about all the times iroha tried to tell the cast to think positive, and how maybe this might be a common thing she says to herself for comfort and assumed this would work for the others too.

So she tells sora she'll remake the manga and it leads to the next event, and sora's response is much better saying the story is more understandable (though the art is still not great) and she responds with this.

The line itself isn't anything too big, but its the sprite she uses during it that interests me. She responds with her crying smile sprite, and honestly its just heartbreaking. Sora was probably the first person to compliment her on her manga.

And she is, she's the only person who's ever liked iroha's comic's, its genuinely such a sweet moment when you think back on it.

And a bit after iroha explains why that's the case.

Yup. Iroha's parents are those kind of art snobs. Iroha's parents don't see manga as an art and what counts as art to them is only the ones in museums.

And because of that iroha wasn't allowed to read manga, she had to hide the manga she had just so she could. And when her mom found her secret stash she ruthlessly tore the manga apart, so iroha never really got to enjoy what she liked.

After this we get the most infamous scene in iroha's events, the uh two boys kissing drawing on the back of her manga. Of course its obviously a shock and kinda odd but the one notable thing about it is iroha's response to sora seeing the doodle.

She actually gets super embarrassed by it, it doesn't matter what choice you make she still responds with her insisting sora forgets she ever saw it. So i'm pretty sure its just a private thing she doodles for one, and another is it kinda makes sense? I guess? Iroha didn't get much freedom as a kid so she probably never got the chance to actually explore things like relationships or sexuality, and seeing how the lgbt is commonly viewed i would like to believe this was just iroha trying to show a bit of rebellion and explore sexuality now that she can and not...the other thing.

And finally iroha's final event, she invites sora to her room so she can paint a self portrait of her. Remember the first point I made? Well now I can finally take out that pin.

As Iroha doesn't actually like to paint, in fact its upsetting for her.

Her entire family does all these types of art, and all have a name in the art world and influence, and probably enjoys it possibly more for the fame though.

But iroha doesn't, she draws everday and can paint with such skill, but its not what she actually wants to do in fact with all that's been done to her she's upset by it and probably can't stand it. But comic's, the one thing she's not an art master at is what really makes her happy.

After this explanation sora encourages iroha to stop painting and instead focus on drawing manga, which iroha states she'll try to do. obviously this doesn't happen considering the multiple times she paints in the game, which brings back my first point that painting has sadly just become a reflex for her at this point when she's under pressure.

And this is my analysis on iroha's fte's, I hope I did good with this its my first time doing something like it after all. If anyone would like a follow up analysis like i mentioned in the beginning, just send an ask :)

[pockymun]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I stole this from @little-box-of-wonders.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

10 as of today. (1 more planned)

2. What's your total A03 word count?

436,818 currently. There's a bit more I haven't published, and a lot of things that were cut.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now, just Final Fantasy XV. Still.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

I Want to Get to Know You, Son - 26 kudos (honestly I forgot this existed)

Etro's Blessing: Andromeda - 23 kudos

The Paradox in the Prophecy - 12 kudos

Final Fantasy XV Maps - 9 kudos (more of a resource fic than actual story, but it counts)

Etro's Blessed Ones - 8 kudos

I think it's worth mentioning that the kudos were given before I started to revamp the story. I Want to Get to Know You is the only fic that doesn't have worldbuilding or a whole cast of OCs in it.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Most of the time, yes! I really appreciate it when people take the time to say something about what they just read. I feel like leaving a comment unanswered is a little cold. It's difficult to answer comments without giving away spoilers, or maybe infodumping stuff that the reader didn't want to begin with. There are few comments that I left alone.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

That's a tough one. I write a lot of angst, but the endings usually have that small glimmer of hope that drive into the next fic. I plan on Reluctant Crownsguard to have the angstiest ending because that hope isn't there. But that's not written yet.

I think so far, Etro's Blessed Ones has the most angstiest ending because it ends with death, mourning, desperation, and a cliffhanger. It's intentionally left vague as to what happens at the cliffhanger, but clearly it's not good for anyone.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably I Want to Get to Know You, Son. That was about five years ago. I can't remember the ending, but it was slice of life, so it's probably happy enough.

I don't write happily ever after. It's unrealistic and gaudy. Characters get what they deserve, not what they want.

The Paradox in the Prophecy will most likely have a happy enough ending, but I don't think I'll manage to finish that one.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope! I don't get a lot of hits to begin with. People on AO3 are decent enough to follow the "Don't Like, Don't Read" rule.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not really. I don't care for smut, which makes me an outlier as a fanfic writer. It doesn't appeal to me and it doesn't have a place in my stories. There's only been one time where I considered a short scene of it, but decided to keep it innocent.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

No. Too complicated. I prefer to add in additional worldbuilding and lore that wasn't in the canon.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't believe so! I have my fics locked on AO3 to protect them from bots.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. I don't plan to. I might do a simple Google Translate lookup for some words here and there, but I don't trust it for full sentences. Full sentences of another language would disrupt the flow of reading, when the reader (and the writer) doesn't know the language.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, although @groovytimetravelflower has helped me think through a lot of plot details (apparently I am unable to write anything truly on my own anymore!). I wouldn't be able to get along with anyone well enough to co-write something!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

That lady who trained Ed and Al in Fullmetal Alchemist, and her husband who's a butcher. It's been years since I watched the show.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The new Rekindled Rebellion. That's another fic with no canon characters, only OCs. It was grueling to write Heretical Oath, which is much the same. I have a lot of writing to work on, so I really don't think I'm going to go much further with Rekindled Rebellion.

16. What are your writing strengths?

It was dialogue, but I think I've made a lot of improvements in regards to perspective. I am very good at sticking with one character's perspective, and not giving information that the character couldn't possibly know.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Scenery and descriptions. I love how some authors can really paint a scene and give such ambience to their stories. I am not one of those people. It's something I try to work on a lot. Also I forget to describe the character who's giving the perspective, because they never focus on themselves.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I sort of answered this already.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

In middle school, I was writing X-men fic, before I really understood what fanfic was and the difference between the movies and the Evolution series, and the comic books. I switched to Kingdom Hearts in high school, because somehow that was easier to follow.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

I am still proud of how much Etro's Blessing: Andromeda has improved. It has a slightly stronger plot and leads in to the other fics nicely now. It's the start of the series, where there's a lot more potential of where it's all going.

Tagging @groovytimetravelflower @andywinter16 @pandansca(No pressure! Only if you want to).

[desertedvault]

i'm doing a lot lately to try and mediate the toxic feelings of resentment, betrayal and paranoia in my life. i am upset at how I've been treated, fair enough, but I lose the moral high ground (truly, or in the eyes of others) by getting too obsessively angry about stuff. my long-suffering followers will all have seen me dump some bile on this blog.

anyway, temporarily quitting drinking, even though I don't regard myself as an alcoholic (although that depends on definition...), has really, really helped. alcohol really allows the mind to magnify annoyance and create toxic thinking patterns. i'd go out to the pub, talk about stuff to try and get it off my chest, become enraged, vindictive and self-pitying, then continue to think like that for weeks.

initially i quit alcohol specifically to avoid those nights where I'd be really tearing into someone who wasn't there, or collapsing in on myself. i felt an argument with a friend coming and didn't want it to happen drunk (I don't think it'll happen at this point). but i think not drinking is helping with my anger on a day to day basis as well.

i haven't drunk anything stronger than 0.5% (and those only rarely) for a month, and besides two days I did the same in January (the bottle of wine i bought tasting like expired Ribena helped me stay off it) before deciding to do so again after seeing what drinking was doing to me. I'm not concerned about the volume of alcohol I drink week on week - for me, personally, drinking has become bad where it previously wasn't necessarily, because of the way it makes me feel and act. there's been other phases of this earlier in my life. drinkig is not reliably fun or even okay when I have a lot of unresolved issues and immediate living-situation problems which are weighing heavily on my mind. atm, i'm more likely to get angry and/or depressed when drinking than I once was.

going out and socialising with my friends who always drink whenever they meet is now, arguably, easier, even though I don't do it as much. that's a lot to do with drama, and a boredom with pubs I felt long before i quit drinking.

i am neurodivergent and i frequently get overwhelmed by noise and crowds on nights out, and that probably happens more now that I'm "sober" (more on that later.). possibly. as i've written this i've realised it's more complicated. whatever way you slice it, overall, things are better.

now initially, i felt like I'd lost my main defence against being overwhelmed by quitting drinking, but now I'm not so sure. thinking back, I'd often have moments on nights where, because I couldn't for example hear anything anyone was saying, I'd lose my drunken energy and become anxious and depressed. that must, at times, have prefigured me being johnny buzzkill to everyone else. a few times it definitely made me go home early, and then miss out on fun, which I'd initially viewed as a drawback of not drinking. when not drinking, I do go home earlier as a rule (it's for reasons more complex than a lack of beer, and once again, more on that later) but I feel, so far, like the feeling of being overwhelmed, or of having embarrassed myself, is equally easy to overcome, likely easier.

without drinking it is easier for me to become overwhelmed by say, my friends having an overly animated conversation (three minutes of "YOU DO IT! I BOUGHT THE LAST THREE ROUNDS!" "YEAH ON MY CARD!" "FUCK YOU!" would have been funny to drunk me, but it was unnerving without alcohol), which sucks. but the feeling i get from that isn't as bad as the "urgh my life's a toilet sitting here saying the same crap while the world burns to death hey that's a punk band these guys aren't real punks listening to this indie poser shit but then i'm not a real punk either i suck" etc thinking that will occur when i'm drunk and overwhelmed by something different.

as implied, i am a reluctant stoner, which you'd think would make hanging out with drunk people easier, but I increasingly don't think it does; it's context-dependent at best. for you see, for me that shit is, at this point, like using a dodgy anti-depressant medication that you can get nicked for having, as opposed to it being something that makes me euphoric, which is what alcohol generally does when my mental health isn't terrible. attempting to get euphoria off le grenoise will generally result in my getting too stoned, which for me has most of the same pitfalls (differently expressed) as getting too drunk. that said, it would take a huge amount for me (personally; pissed-off cannabis users are indeed out there, and they're super-duper pissed) to fly into an angry rant while stoned. however, what I really want is to be able to manage these emotions well in a state of sobriety, not to be reliant on smoking weed for it (easier said than done when you're deep into it like me). that's the main reason I aim to go fully sober for at least a couple of months before resuming drinking (which I will be approaching very differently), so I remember how to do stuff without self-medication, and put some skills i've learned while self-medicating (from anger management resources and such) into practice.

the end of that last paragraph was arguably the most important part of this piece on some level. but also, to get back to the matter of the left-handed cigarettes, because you can't just spark up wherever you want, that creates a reason to leave certain events, having to walk somewhere secluded (which is actually kind of a nice mid-party cool-down ritual you could do without a drug problem) to smoke, or leave events entirely where it's not possible to carry pre-rolls around with you. I'm also showing up to stuff later because i get stoned to prep myself and then find i'm disorganised and losing track of time for some reason. having to rush home from work to smoke, and then rush back into town to go out, also fucking sucks. I don't view biffters as negatively as i view alcohol, in terms of how it effects me, or how it effects others. but unnecessary dependency on anything for any reason is dick, and relying on it as a medication which i'm not actually allowed to have is unworkable for me.

so in terms of where i'm at now, even though I am smoking weed, for me that's closer to sobriety, and on a lot of nights out I start a little red round the eyes but am sober by the end, and guess what, it's okay. i go home earlier, but again that's mostly to smoke a joff, which hopefully won't be an issue in a couple of months. and the fact I'm going to places, and staying there when i can't freely use substances for the duration of my visit, is impressive.

recently i went to a gig, where i had a constructive conversation with my housemate and former close friend who's been central to my MH decline and quitting drinking. i made nice with someone i'm unsure of, found someone i thought didn't like me does, enjoyed all three bands. i had an awkward interation with someone i am allowed to hate by my friends, but for complex reasons would rather get on with, but there was no spiralling after that. or after a stranger was randomly hostile to me in a crowd, I didn't get angry (although when her companion apologised, I gently but sarcastically said "have fun" after "it's alright", which was unnecessary). and it was all fine. i had to think heavy thoughts but they were easier to deal with. i drank two pints of pepsi and couldn't sleep, but fuck it it's a learning curve, now i know not to do that. it was a good night

[afterhourswjay]

I'm regards to the MHA character sh prompt I sent, I would like to clear up a couple things for ya! So, the characters I'm looking for are mainly Deku and Sero, because I need some wholesome stuff lol.

I'm thinking that their S/O already did something, but not life threatening, and the two boys (separately) try to help their S/O? If that's too angsty, just go ahead and do a really cold bath ❤❤

Also, sorry that it took me this long to see your private response 💀

I don't mind writing this!! I hope you don't mind, but I'll be basing this off of how I used to act when I really struggled with harming myself. Sorry if this wasn't what you had wanted, feel free to send in another ask if you were expecting something a little bit different. Also, so sorry that it's taken me so long to get to this!

Warnings: Mentions of self-harming, bleeding, not sure how people spell 'self-harm' so i added tags with and without the hyphen, if this is something that is potentially upsetting to you please please skip this. I have a lot of drafts in the works, so you won't be missing much for long

Izuku Midoriya

- you had been slicing some fruit up for a snack and you hadn't been paying as much attention as you should've and ended up cutting your hand pretty bad - and you were a little bit surprised to realize that other than the initial surprise of getting the cut, you didn't really feel anything. which makes sense, you suppose, since you've begun to feel overwhelmed by school, and hero studies in general - while your staring at the red fluid dripping down and off your fingers, izuku comes into the kitchen for something, probably water ngl - he walks in and barely contains his worry and concern. mom-friend izuku to the rescue. he drags you by your non-injured hand to the bathroom in his dorm room to help clean and patch your hand up - he gently asks you what had happened, and you explain that you'd been struggling with the growing numbness - he nods, not really understanding what you mean, but he also wants to help you out a bit he also doesn't want to leave you alone - so he helps you out by cutting the fruit, replacing any of the slices if they have some blood on them - he then guides you to his bed and hands you a snack and asks if there's anything you want to watch or if you'd rather talk about it - if you want to just watch some movies or tv shows, he's more than willing to grab a bunch of pillows and blankets for you two to snuggle under as you watch whatever you want - if you'd rather talk about everything that had led up to the injury, then he's more than willing to let you talk to him - he wants to help you and also to distract you. really, he just wants to know that you're safe. he's well aware that you have feelings and that you struggle sometimes, so he wants you to realize that you can depend on him

Sero Hanta

- you had woken up in the morning feeling strangely sluggish, your joints feeling stiff and sore. you weren't sure why, but you just wanted the day to be over despite having not really started - as you trail behind your classmates, you take note of how heavy your bag feels. strangely, it feels like there's a million bricks instead of just your textbooks - as the day wears on, so does your focus. don't get it twisted, you're putting 100% effort into listening, but... ok, well... maybe not 100%. but you're trying to, you really are - lunch time couldn't come faster, and you're the first person out of the classroom it's strange, cuz you always feel like chatting... but not today, you don't have the energy. after grabbing food from the cafeteria, you make a beeline for the rooftop courtyard - after lunch, everything passed by in a blur. you don't remember much of anything, other than today being friday, and that you have tomorrow to rest before getting right back into training - you stagger into your bathroom and draw a hot bath. and that's where you stay, for hours, until well passed the water has turned cold. yet, you can't muster up any energy to drag yourself out and to get dried off - your limbs feel like lead, your brain like mush. your brain tells you to get out and get dressed, while that little voice tells you to grab the knife - you, however, remain where you're at. no need to bother, you think - that is, until you realize someone's pounding on your bedroom door, calling for you. its only then that you gather yourself, draining the water from the tub, watching the water as your eyes start to tear up - you slowly towel yourself off, getting your pjs on, and move slowly to your door. you open it and almost get hit in the face by the person knocking. it's... sero? - he tells you how he and the rest of the class was very worried about you today, and that he's just checking up on you. are you hungry? do you want to talk about it? do you just want to go to bed? or would you prefer to hang out? or study? - as you listen to him ramble on about his worries and how the class is worried too, you start crying even harder than you had been previously. he immediately gathers you in his arms and carries you through the dormitory to his room where you two have an impromptu cuddle session

[kidflashimpulse]

i personally really wanna know what Bart's relationship with the mental health check-ups is. like, is he super tight-lipped about what he's been through and plays everything off as fine, that he's handling it? does he talk about certain stuff but not others? has he legitimately gone to therapy since s2 or has he only done what's required of him? i'm very very curious

Okay, so this is such a good question it has taken me forever to put this together because I have a million thoughts and its impossible for me to put a proper structure to it so please bare with me, I tried my best LOL also I am SO SORRY for writing up this essay as my response LMAO i don't know, the words just won't stop !

warning: it is a lot im so sorry lol

From what I've read among the fandom, I often read that hes been put to therapy pretty much from the moment season 2 ends and has since his stay in the present managed to somewhat "heal" from his trauma or at least confront it one way or another.

Personally, I somewhat disagree with this approach. First, like we've seen from Gars arc, BB had been suffering for months pretty badly, but interventions and mandatory check ups weren't at all enforced on him until what many thought was pretty late. Honestly, I found this actually pretty realistic. From both a "slice of life" aspect as well as what's typically expected from professionals. Thats because you can't force someone to seek help unless they pose a threat to themselves or can't care for themselves anymore. So people really only intervene when things reach their nuclear stage. Typically people who also need help withdraw themselves from their social circle, as we saw with Gar, which idk if ppl realise makes it incredibly hard for them to even try to help (not out of a lack of empathy, but because they have their own responsibilities, and if someone withdraws themselves from you, then its much harder to approach them or be aware of the extent of their mental health problems). Again, I actually found his friends general involvement in Gars mental health journey fairly realistic.

I think people also overestimate the reach (heh) of the Leagues mental health efforts. The mandatory aspect is a simple "check up" and this involves a lot of people. So unless someone is actively seeking or needs help, theres only so much this service can do.

Now how this unwarrented essay on an imaginary health care system ties in to Bart (lol im so sorry for my rambles), well ill tie that in later.

Now, maybe im reading too much into it considering how him being fine was made into a gag in the Elder Wisdom Season 3 episode lol, but his first reaction (which at that point wasn't made into a recurring joke) to Barrys worry was very much "its nothing, im fine, your worry is annoying". His emotional intelligence was also displayed from his scene later on where he manages to call out what Jay was really going thru for what it was.

Elder wisdom was an episode that was listed multiple times in the watch list for the series and Jays involvement was pretty prominent in it. Now with how Phantoms concluded, Jay was listed as someone by Dinah in the last episode who has needed mental support, so it seems like that plot line has been continued. Now I don't know about you, but I interpreted Dinahs mention of Jays issues to stem from Bart being missing (compounding onto general hero life stress and him probably still mourning Joan). This is because the creators of YJ always heavily emphasise that "everything u need to know regarding all plots is what is shown" and starting from the moment in season 3 where Bart guarantees he's not going anywhere, to the moment that Jay returns to an empty home from which Bart was missing for over two weeks, to the conclusion of Jay needing mental support, I feel like its a very tidy and directly connected storyline.

Another thing from that episode which has been continued over this season is that Bart is always guaranteeing that hes fine. Its a little jarring in parallel to the worry Jay was going thru, especially with us as the audience knowing that he actually has been through a lot in those two weeks and that all that time he was literally in bandages. But the moment hes awake with Clark and co, he guarantees hes fine and immediately resumes with the mission.

What I found pretty interesting with Barts involvement in Phantoms is that a lot of what has been previously assumed of him from season 2 has been supported this season. I believe the intention of his scene with the Legion when he pretty much cornered them into revealing the truth is that he somewhat has a switch on his personality depending on the circumstances. Which to an extent supports the notion that while his general personality is pretty much genuine, what he shows depends on what hes in the mood to play up or down.

From season 2 we've seen that he can be pretty tight lipped on what he wants. From season 3 we've seen him adjust to his new timeline pretty well and in season 4 we've seen some of his complexities as well as how it can affect the people he cares about.

So, with all this in mind, to answer your questions. With the check ups being spread thin with the purpose of singling out people who are shown to need/ask for it and his affinity for being tight lipped as well as playing everything off, guaranteeing that hes fine and keeping to himself, hes really only done what hes been required to do and played off any need for concern that would require him to seek further help. This doesn't mean I don't think he hasn't talked about stuff with the people hes close with.

Lastly, he also has the factor that a lot his background has to do with the future. Sure it might be one that doesn't exist anymore, but im sure he'd struggle to explain things without giving away too many things that he'd believe he really shouldn't be saying. Also his very specific background restricts him from seeking any professional help outside of league related resources.

So yeah, if you made it to the end of my post, thank you for reading :D <3 I hope through all this I at the very least, managed to address your questions and give my two cents on our fave speedsters relationship with mental health check ups

[iwishiwereafrog]

So i spend A LOT of time on pinterest because i have nothing better to do with my life. I am also a big fan of Omori. So i see a lot of memes and stuff there and a lot of them are just constantly B L A S T I N G Aubrey and claiming that her issues are insignificant.

and i have a really b i g problem with this because i feel like a lot of people really don't want to see beyond the surface level when it comes to her character just because she became a bully. and i can't help but feel like her character development was a bit half-baked but none the less.

But anyways a wrote a rant/analysis thingy in the notes app and i dont have any friends that play Omori that i can send it to so i'm posting it here:

(oh and it started with me wistfull longing for more official Omori content...)

"i want a separate spin-off going through the lives of all of the main characters dealing with their own something's. so bad. and then a slice of life prequel with mari's death as the cliffhanger ending lol... oh and they have to all be separate games with roughly the same amount of content and play time.

and i think that it would also help the fan base sympathize with Audrey a lot more. like i know she has done some SHITTY shit but like. think about it for a minute. she loses her only positive female role model due to what she thinks is suicide in the midst of an abusive living situation right at the beginning of puberty and is then pretty much abandoned by all of her friends. you don't consider that so be really fucking traumatic??? like i see memes and stuff justifying the other characters trauma and then just bash on her as the punchline. yeah she became a bully. yeah that's shitty. but it's not like sunny's coping mechanism was any better. or basil's. hero wasn't doin very well for a while either. like as fucked as it is that she decided to take her frustration and pain out on other people, it doesn't make her problems any smaller. she doesn't get the chance to go in depth about what happened to her after Mari died. she got like one scene aching over being abandoned -because for a while she was- and by the time they came back she had already started closing herself off. it sucks that she didn't turn out kind and hopeful but in reality that's completely valid. not everyone responds to trauma the same way which is made clearly evident buy the entirety of the real world gameplay. she just happened to be the angry one. and her pain is as valid as all of the other characters despite her poor response to it. you'd probably think sunny was a shitty person if he wasn't the main character too."

well anyway, hope this changed literally anyone's mind on her a little bit. this doesn't even include all of my reasons i could probably write a whole 10 page essay if i really wanted to but yeah...

have a little fanart of mine

👍

[oveliagirlhaditright]

I feel like anyone who knows me knows what a big Bangel fan I am-- like I make so many posts about them these days, and sometimes I feel like I'm even unintentionally taking up way too much of the tag for them and sort of feel embarrassed about that. And I'm so sorry if that's true. ^_^'

So, yeah... clearly a big Bangel fan here. And obviously, most of that comes from the shows.

But now that I've started reading the tie-in books, there's a part of me that feels like they handled them better.

It's just that they have so many nice moments in them. And, I mean, obviously the shows aren't without their nice Bangel moments: I wouldn't be here if they didn't have them. But I guess I feel like the novels have room to breathe more? And that makes sense, because they're sort of missing moments.

Well, that's not entirely true. And that sort of takes away from them. That makes it sound like they're just slice of life fanfictions or something. They're more like missing episodes. But I guess since a lot of them weren't beholden to the overall season arc, maybe that's why it feels like they had more room to add in some nice romantic moments. Also, more page count to do so.

I also feel like Joss Whedon and team eventually got too caught up in the whole "Buffy and Angel are Romeo and Juliet and can never be happy, or else the audience will lose interest in them" thing: so much so, that they forgot they also needed to give them good moments with each other, in order to make the audience care at all. And I feel like a lot of writers of TV shows in this era had the same problem. It was the whole, "The obvious intended canon pairing can never get together, because the audience will stop watching, so we must throw in all this useless angst and crazy road blocks!" thing. Looking at you, eight seasons of Clana Smallville pain, even though I do ship Clana. (As an aside, I hate this idea and trope so much. It's almost a sign of a lack of creativity and lazy writing to me, because I feel like if you were a good writer, of course you could keep your audience around once the canon couple becomes, well, canon, by giving them other things in your show to be interested in! I feel like if all an audience cares about with your show is a ship, then you have writing problems. But that's a rant for another time.)

And don't get me wrong, these book authors definitely try to stay true to canon and do a wonderful job doing so--and there's definitely angst here--I just feel like they're not dripping in angst, like I feel the show (and especially the S8-12 comics and Angel & Faith!) later were, if you feel me.

And I just think the tie-in novels had the time to show some of the stuff that we knew were going on in the show, and that were definitely hinted at there (and that we saw a few times), but to give it to us a lot more: like Angel being the one person that Buffy opened up to and was her comfort through the storm, so to speak.

Like, when you watch the show, you kind of feel like there was probably a lot of stuff going on with Buffy and Angel that we didn't get to see, that helped to explain why they loved each other (especially in season three, that really seemed to jump around a bit). And the tie-in novels really seems to fill that in for me. IDK.

If someone who wasn't a Bangel fan read the tie-in novels, they might change their mind about them. Or at least see why we like them. That's kind of what I'm getting at here. And that's one of the reasons I think the writing is pretty exceptional.

Edit: You also have to appreciate that the tie-in novels allowed for more crossover moments with Buffy and Angel, after they had their separate shows, that eventually we didn't get with the actual TV shows, because of dumb legal reasons: which I think was the original intention/dream, for them to have more moments like that, even after they'd separated.

[rotationalsymmetry]

I'm going to wade into Harry Potter discourse (ie, what exactly does it make sense to do about an extremely popular series of kids' books and associated paraphernalia) given that JKR is now known to be a big time terf) a bit, even though obviously I'm regretting it even as I type this. Motivations are interesting. Being aware of the shitty reasons that people sometimes do things can help you see when something's being presented as a good/virtuous thing but is actually motivated by something not so good.

For instance: I started hearing about GamerGate really early on. And my first reaction was: this is getting around because a bunch of guys are upset about a woman having sex with a bunch of guys (ie "being a slut"), that's what this is about.

And ... kinda seems like that was in fact what that was about? But when new information came up suddenly it wasn't about the initial thing it was about other stuff? (Sorry, this probably makes no sense unless you were following GamerGate, and if you weren't, good for you, honestly.)

For instance: sometimes a callout post isn't about the thing it's supposed to be about, it's actually about someone with a grudge trying to make one specific person hurt.

For instance: when birthers were all "but what if Obama is a Muslim, I mean I'm fine about him being black I'm not racist, but what if he's secretly a Muslim" and OK, I absolutely don't want to minimize Islamophobia or how much Christians are capable of freaking out about the idea that anyone isn't a Christian, but also... kinda sounds like you're just racist, especially since Obama isn't a Muslim but rather definitely is black.

For instance: sometimes when someone suddenly realizes they're polyamorous and it's part of their identity and they always have been, but only after they've been caught cheating... or on the flip side when someone says they have a DADT relationship, and because they say they have a DADT relationship you can't actually confirm that they do...

Anyways. I've noticed a thing on here. Well, credit where it's due, my partner noticed it a lot sooner. A lot of the time people are more interested in politics as a means of dividing people up socially into in-groups and out-groups than in a means of actually doing things in the world.

You see this with queer gatekeeping. One thing it does is if, say, you're an ace exclusionist, it means you're not going to be interacting (at least not positively) with aces who think ace is queer. (BTW I take it as given that aces are queer and am not interested in debating this, ok? OK.) But also, it means you have a way of slicing people who aren't ace but disagree with you, out of the circle of people you interact (positively) with, which means you have a smaller circle, which means the people left have a better chance of getting to know each other well and feeling close, plus additionally having enemies tends to make people feel close.

It's a social function, not a societal one.

So people get all these little... things. Small ways to determine who's the wrong type of person. (Which is good and functional when it's "if we keep this kind of person around, it will automatically drive away this other kind of person, and the first type of person is actually a changeable attitude and the second type of person is actually innate (or harmless) and not anything they can or should change" ... but that's not usually what's going on actually.) You get it in wellness circles, because buying expensive ass health food -- being able to afford it -- is a class marker, and often doing wellness stuff involves a lot of free time, which is also often a class marker. You get it in political groups.

And you get it with Harry Potter and people getting really intense about harassing other people for reading Harry Potter, or just...seeing anyone who ever mentions Harry Potter as the enemy, or posting aggressively enough about it ("if you have to mourn for a children's series something went wrong with your life") that anyone who hasn't cut Harry Potter out of their life, or anyone who has but feels conflicted about it is...suddenly not in your in-group any more. Which I guess is a thing some people like. Somehow.

Here's the thing. Some of you are too young to remember this. But transgender issues? Used to be not talked about at all. Trans characters only existed in media as the butt of a joke or as a serial killer. Or maybe a hooker. Even within the LGBT community, the T was often ignored, given a back seat.

But these days? Trans issues are front and center! Everyone is talking about them! It's kind of impossible to miss how trans issues are at the same place that same sex marriage (and, really, mainstream acceptance of gay/bi people and same sex relationships) was in the 2000's. And just like that cause got major backlash, trans rights now are getting a major backlash and we're seeing all sorts of hateful legislation designed to keep trans kids away from puberty blockers and off of sports teams and we get a lot of very vocal terfs. That's backlash. That's a result of things are moving in the right direction. Because the transphobes were willing to be mostly quiet about trans people as long as they could ignore them. As long as trans people existed quietly, in the margins, unspeaking...I met my first trans person as an adult, mid-20's, I don't even know when I first heard of a trans celebrity, it just wasn't a thing that happened in the 1990's and 2000's. And now it seems like a new celebrity is coming out as trans every week! The world is changing and it is permanently changing and the transphobes are losing.

And I think the most likely outcome in the long run is that trans people will get/maintain a certain measure of mainstream acceptance -- kids are going to grown up knowing that being trans is an option, the first trans person I met transitioned after she retired, trans people are figuring it out younger and younger and that's such a good thing -- and sure there's still going to be a lot of casual bigotry and a lot of assumptions of cis as the default and probably gender reveal parties and all that. But going forward, trans people are going to know that being trans is an option from an early age and they're going to know how to find resources and info and other trans people and there's going to be anti-discrimination legislation and trans characters in TV shows and movies without their entire character being about being trans, and it's going to be better. And it's going to be better without getting Harry Potter out of the bookstores. I don't think that's a winnable fight. I mean...sometimes fights are worth fighting even when you expect to lose. But...I think we're losing the Harry Potter battle and winning the trans acceptance war (just like Chick Fil A still exists and we also have same sex marriage) and frankly I'm OK with that and I think given that, it's worth having some judgement over how to handle the Harry Potter situation. For some people that's going to be "I'm not going to buy new stuff but I'm still going to read fanfic and talk about it on my blog" and for some people that's going to be "nah, no stuff, even if there isn't money going directly back to JKR I still don't want to feed the fandom" and I don't think that an individual being unwilling to give up HP means they're an unconscionable trans enemy forever, OK?

And on some level I don't see how this isn't obvious to people. Within the "individual actions matter" side of the environmental movement, people draw the lines in different places and that's just how it is. Like, I went vegetarian for environmental reasons, most people don't, but that doesn't mean that all meat-eaters are utterly indifferent to climate change and any other actions they take are without meaning. And I'm not fully vegetarian now and that's not because my principles changed, it's because my ability to feed myself adequately on a strict vegetarian diet changed. And I never freaking ride my bike any more because I'm sick, not because my attitude towards cars changed. People's capacity to make individual contributions to any given effort vary a great deal, the level of sacrifice the same individual contribution involves for different people can be on completely different levels, you can't tell how inconvenience-intolerant someone is by their personal choices if you don't know them. Often even if you do. And everyone is the boss of themselves and their own circumstances and you don't have a moral right to dictate to others what they "have to" do and it's not politically effective to get into internet flame wars with people who have said they're not going to do a thing.

If by "politically effective" you mean "likely to make changes in the wider world" as opposed to "likely to get you a clear in-group and out-group".

So yeah. I don't give a rat's ass who is still talking about Harry Potter. I mostly haven't been. Because I've made a personal choice to make this blog friendly to people who aren't comfortable with HP talk given the "JKR is a terf" circumstances. (And because it's easier for me to disengage from the fandom entirely than disengage on a piece by piece "ok well is this a justified exception" basis.) And part of that is I'm disinclined to follow other people who talk a lot about Harry Potter. But that's...not a moral judgement. I don't think that sort of thing is constructive. Life is complicated and there's so much going on and the planet is dying and it's not possible to act with moral purity all of the time, and we need joy and respite in our lives as well.

If I couldn't tolerate being around people who through ignorance or apathy or just lack of ability sometimes do things that cause real harm, never mind the more subtle/ambiguous "I can draw a connection between this thing and real harm", I couldn't stand being around myself, or around anyone else.

and, idk, maybe part of that is I don't feel personally threatened by JKR. I'm not on hormones, I'm not in need of legal accommodation, I don't have bathroom issues, I'm trans but trans in a way where I don't need a lot compared to other trans people. Where I fit in relatively comfortably to a world made for cis people. So, idk, maybe I'd be seeing it a lot differently if my life was different, I do not know, I might be missing something.

But I don't think I'm missing so much that harassing people or getting into big lock-down fights over whether engaging with the Harry Potter fandom in any way whatsoever can conceivably be morally excusable or whether it's a sign of moral failure to feel sad about Harry Potter being compromised by its creator having horrific active politics, is actually a reasonable or helpful or non-harmful thing for anyone to do with their time.

[jezy]

My Ben 10 Reboot/Grim Dawn OC-- Libra Renov! :D

Warning! Some of these parts have uncomfortable stuff, so if you don't like it. Might wanna either scroll down faster or endure it if you still wanna read it.

Libra has a lot of expertise with being a Sage of Illusions but she's also a healer and wild card in case missions go south. Which is about 50/50 percent most of the time.

She's also one of the smartest sages there is. But she sometimes focuses on the puzzles way too much so she doesn't notices anything going on around her.

Libra has a few friends but they're just a bunch of royal jerks. Except Hex, she liked him when they've met. Disa and Libra are friends too, but she trusts Hex more than anyone.

Before Libra died, she was a human with wavy chocolate brown hair with deep blue eyes and fair skin. Now, she's an aetherial with messy black charcoal hair with glowing green eyes and her skin's pale white.

She is an adopted royal, let me elaborate : Her real parents' kingdom got dethroned by another kingdom in ledgerdomain. The king and queen who has a tomboy daughter which they don't like, and resulting for said daughter to left them with no heir. So when they dethroned Libra's parents, they took toddler!Libra under their wings and taught her how to be a girly-girl princess.

At first, Libra loved it but when she grew older she became a rebellious child (in secret) and would often read her adopted father's books about magic without permission.

When she met Hex (when she first sneaked out for the first time), she realized she can be so much more than just be a useless princess in her kingdom. She could help people on the front instead of doing it behind the walls of the castle.

So ever since then, whenever she gets the chance to do something rebellious, she would do it using illusions as distraction then she helps the people in need with a disguise. (Like Robin Hood).

Her adopted parents didn't liked it obviously and were trying to figure out who would do such a thing. They still haven't found out it was her.

Libra & Hex are the "friends to lovers" couple. They're glue you can't easily separate and will hurt you if you hurt one of them.

When she found out that she's getting arranged marriage to Hex's younger brother, she didn't liked it. Yes, she knew about Hex's younger brother, Spellbinder, but she didn't liked him like that.

So when Libra & Hex became 18 years old, they eloped to Cairn and became Sages since then. They're not exactly married in legal standards, but they don't mind it one bit.

When Hex gets pissed at someone, its Libra's job to calm him down.

Since she's the only thing that stands between Hex and his anger to the whole multiverses. That is, when she died in the first cataclysmic war.

Libra deeply cares about Hex and is deeply hurt whenever Hex does something he regrets. Like, cursing his brother when Spellbinder forcefully kissed her lips.

Of course, Hex hid away from her for a few years because of the fear he'll hurt her too.

This made her depressed and longed for him, even to the point on not eating or sleeping because she misses him too much. Till Disa slaps her from her depression and yells at her to get a grip.

Libra was slightly thankful for her, even though it hurts like hell. She now learned a lesson that Hex would come back. Which he did, and Libra basically sprung out to crush him with her hug.

Libra cried rivers when Hex came back, as well as him.

After that, they now have more love to each other. Which is a blessing for the other sages since they now feared/despised Hex because of what he did.

They were peaceful, until the cataclysmic war....

Now, the cataclysmic war isn't just some war, it was a war between The Gods of Cairn and The Aetherial. (I'll probably make a post about the Aetherials and Gods of Cairn, since I can't explain everything in here)

It affected everyone even The Sages, half of the faction died including Libra. Who got trapped inside the spell of the Handmaiden Shield and burned alive by the aetherfire the aetherials had caused.

When she died, her soul got flung down deep into where the aetherials (now just spirits) had now reside. When they noticed her and found out she wasn't one of them, they tortured her for eons till they came back to take over the world. But she held it together for as long as she can take.

That was until... Theodin Marcell, The Master of Flesh, had began experimenting & reanimating the bodies of humans. He searched for test subjects (alive and/or dead) and found Libra's corpse in an ancient graveyard, and decided they will make her their most perfect masterpiece.

And so he did, first they forced Libra's soul to go into an aether crystal (a sort of physical form of aetherials). Then, he sliced open Libra's body's chest and planted the crystal inside her heart. Then he started reanimating her.

When she first came back to life, she was strapped naked in an electric chair. She tried to get out obviously until she saw Theodin Marcell coming down.

"Ah, so you're awake..."

"What do you want with me?!"

"The higher ups of the Aetherhold has accepted my request to test on you, Miss Libra Renov..."

"That still doesn't my question bastard!"

"The higher ups also want you to join our army. A special soldier, if you will."

"I'll never join you! Not after what your kind has done many eons ago!"

"Of course, I know you won't accept, so we'll do it the hard way instead..."

"Wha--" Then she screamed. Theodin had activated a switch that activated the electric chair. There were iron nails, nailed through her hands, and seemingly connected to the wires up to the switch. Making her feel the pain through her nerves system.

It hurts like hell, it felt like she was on fire. Her organs felt on fire, her brain-- Everything felt like on fire.

Theodin kept doing this to her till she threw up bile onto herself. Coughing up the remaining bile in her throat.

"Hmm, interesting, a human body can take so much of electricity before they perish. But you however, since you were blessed by the gods, you can take so much more..."

"What the hell does that mean?!"

"That means, I have to do more experiments on you. But since you just woke up, I'll let you rest. Tomorrow, we will continue, and by then... You will sooner or later become a masterpiece....."

She only glared daggers at the possessed man as she was dragged away to a cell. They threw her and pinned her down, then they chained her up against the wall to make sure she doesn't escape.

Her hands felt numb from the electrocution, her body was shivering from the cold and shaking from the electricity. Her brain felt dizzy, if she focuses too much on an area, she would throw up.

Whatever the hell Theodin has in store for her, she'll endure it. She won't break from him. She'll get out and escape as soon as she finds a way how.

Besides, how worse can it get?....

Surely it won't be too much for her? Right? She's seen disturbing things, she has the confidence that she won't break.

Oh how wrong she was...

How very wrong she was...

The next day, when she was being escorted to the experimentation room. She tried to escape.

There were many aetherial possessed soldiers and once they saw her, they started shooting at her. Unfortunately, she was hit multiple times and died.

But that wasn't the worse part, the worse part was when she started to wake up. What she saw was scarring.

Her body's opened up like some frog in a science class, she could see her organs and everything from her perspective. Bloody equipment on a table, her beating heart, and Theodin poking and putting something inside her. It was enough to make her nauseous.

"Oh? Awake already?"

She was freaking out and started to squirm a lot.

"I suggest you don't squirm, unless you want an important organ to get cut from your recklessness."

She immediately froze from his words.

"Good pet." She growled at that nickname, she was very disgusted by him.

She tried to look around for any places where she can run, or anything nearby that she can use to break out of her confinement.

But she couldn't do anything, she knows that. She can't escape and she'll just bleed out if she somehow miraculously did. She was trapped.

She had no choice but to stare at what Theodin's doing to her for hours, mortified. And when he finished stitching up the slices he made, he did one more thing.

"Oh, and since you tried to escape. A little torture will be necessary."

And so he did, by stabbing her leg unexpectedly, in which she screamed. He kept doing this to different parts of her body until she began crying and whimpering.

Her face was covered in cuts and limbs that have stabs all over them. There were a few close calls to her neck making it look like scratches.

"Oh, you're crying? That's pathetic."

"...."

"Still not answering?"

"....."

"Whatever, because of your recklessness you got shot down by our troops. So I suggest you stop being stubborn and just accept it. You can't escape. And if you do, we'll be coming after you."

Those words slowly drilled down into her brain, she tried to ignore it but couldn't. In the next few days of those horrible electrocutions and mortifying tests that include getting her shoulders dislocated in the process, she was beginning to starve.

Theodin doesn't cares though so he just ignores Libra's whimpers of starvation and continued on the experiment. Even if it means Libra gets slammed like a bruised ragdoll.

There's more, more worse than that. When Theodin realized he couldn't do more experiments on Libra due to her lack of energy. He feeds her near-expired food, by literally shoving it down her throat till she chokes on it.

She absolutely doesn't likes it and tried to escape once after that. But she got stabbed from behind her and died once more.

Everytime she tried to escape, she keeps dying. And everytime she was brought back to life, she was punished. Either it was electrocution, beating her up, stabbing her randomly, or really painful whips in the back.

Her brown hair became darker until it was charcoal black due to getting electrocuted many times, her skin was so pale that you would barely see the cuts in her face. She has spots of burns on her skin when aetherfire was shot at her, body that has stitches everywhere, and her hands was beginning to glow bright green due to prolonged exposure to electricity.

Her head hurts, a lot and her chest feels funny every time she exhausts herself.

She cries in her sleep everytime, she can't take it anymore. She is in so much pain, so much stress. That she didn't even saw the worst part that happened to her.

"Fuck you..."

"Oh my, how dirty your mouth is."

"Screw. You. I can tell whatever I want to say."

"Oh my... Don't tell me you've forgotten one of the rules of your faction... That would be very disrespectful of you."

"Wait, the rules??"

"Yes, don't you remember the faction you joined and its rules?"

"My faction? Yes, my faction!... The err... S..So...The Sorcerers!"

"You meant 'The Sages'?"

"Wait, 'Sages'??? I thought--"

"Oh don't tell me you don't remember, The Sages of Cairn? The faction you dedicated your whole life into."

"Of course I remember! Its just err..."

"You seem to have forgotten your faction."

"N-No I don't! I do remember them!"

"Oh then please, tell me all about it."

"Its..erm, ugh! Why can't I remember?!"

"So you don't remember anything? Anything in particular. Your friends, your family, even your lover?"

"I...I don't remember....." Then laughter erupted from the man, as she tried to remember.

That was the worst part, she couldn't remember anything. Her memories full of holes, fuzzy dreams with no meaning to her, and sometimes nightmares would crawl into her mind. The only thing that she held onto was her name and the name of her lover, Hex, but memories of them being together was long gone.

And soon, Theodin had managed to succumb Libra in her weakest point. Where she was easily manipulated by the aetherial....

After a couple more years of experiments, torturing, etc. She was empty both inside and out. Her eyes were dull of life, her vision (sometimes) was such a haze but she didn't really cared.

Theodin had turned the once stubborn Sage into one of his mindless (very scarred soldier) soldiers for battle.

She couldn't feel pain no longer. After what she went through, she slowly became numb to pain. Which was good for Theodin Marcell, as they now have a perfect masterpiece, ready to go and do their bidding.

But the downside is that she became a masochist so every wounds inflicted to her, was a pleasure for her instead of pain. So she had to wear a mask, so people won't find out she loved the pain on herself.

She became a Mage Hunter, a mixture of an Inquisitor and an Arcanist. She disguised herself using illusions (that she vaguely remembers) and infiltrated the barracks of The Black Legion.

She then proceeded what Theodin tells her to do, smuggle the aetherial spirits to people who are the weakess mentally and with most negative emotions.

After Malmouth had fallen she continues hunting down humans for Theodin to "make a masterpiece" out of them. That was until Hex arrived.

One day, she received a mission to protect Warden Krieg in his home. So she used a rift to get there quickly, and when she did...

She saw none other than Hex who's fighting aetherials at the moment.

She stood there staring at him, thinking about how familiar Hex is to her. Though, she didn't know it was him. Until she decided to call out for him when he was finished with killing the aetherials.

"...Hex?"

That immediately caught Hex's attention and saw Libra standing there, shock mixed with confusion.

"How do you know my name?"

"I..I don't know, but I remember someone named Hex.... I'm not sure.... I just called out to you..."

"Well people don't know my name unless--"

"I'm Libra..."

That made Hex shut up quickly and come up to her with widened eyes before hugging Libra. Her mask was quickly swept to the side as Hex kissed her.

The hug and kiss really made her feel nice and warm. Like, they've been doing this for who knows how long.

But soon, the warm feeling disappeared when he let go, "How can I know you're Libra??? She died eons ago..." He said with sadness in his voice. That was a good choice, being skeptical was a good choice.

"I don't know either.... I can't remember anything, my memories are filled with holes..."

"Can you remember maybe a little bit?"

"Well, I've been getting nightmares more recently... My dreams were always different but I think I remember burning in one of them..."

"So it really is you... What happened?"

"I'll tell you, but first, we need to go somewhere and then we can talk."

Hex only nodded and followed her to a hidden place. That was when she told him everything she remembers so far, after the end of her talking Hex looked like he was going to rip Theodin Marcell into two. Which makes her scared.

She doesn't want to lose the only warmth that she has now, she needs to protect him. That was how she betrayed the aetherials and helped Hex with his missions.

This doesn't please Theodin though....

But she doesn't care, she's obsessed with Hex's warm feeling and she doesn't want to lose it.

Even though her memories is filled with holes, Libra felt like she belongs to Hex.

And since Hex is now together with Libra again, he can help her with those hole-filled memories.

And maybe now she can slowly remember what they used to be...

Here's the current gacha design for Reboot!Hex and Libra (Since I can't draw, lel)

Hope you enjoyed it!

[lucky4in]

Magic Interferes in New Orleans

Prompts from Piccadilly's book #3

Words used: ☆matriarch ☆throat ☆impossible ☆vinegar ☆apology ☆slice ☆microwave ☆raspberry ☆choose ☆snore

God! I can't take it. The dread is killing me. I'm losing all the blood in my fingers with how tight I'm squeezing the steering wheel. The honking around me is not helping. I can feel everyone's fear collectively as we sit in agitated traffic. Stress. Fault. Jitteriness. Indifference. Panic, panic, panic.

God, I hate being an empath. I can't even hear my own thoughts. I need to breath! Yeah. Take deep breaths. I'm not far from the U-turn lane. So what if traffic is moving 1 millimeter a minute? The storm can't be faster.

Hooooonk!

Beepbeep!

I have to get out of this situation before I have a sensory overload.

From my front and my rear, I'm surrounded by vehicles. I can't move back, I'll hit someone. I can't move up, because they'll think there's space to move and I'll be more stuck than before. Looking to my right I realize the road across the gate is fairly empty. That last car I saw go that way was 40 something minutes ago.

I gulp loosening my grip from the wheel but still holding it firmly in my palms. Taking a breath I turn the wheel and step on the gas. My car races through the grass and crashes though the metal gates. With a screech, my tires are finally rolling and I'm off. Towards the dark clouds like a fool running blindly into a lions den.

When I finally catch sight of the curling palm trees and the flying debris, my weariness is replaced by anger. We had a plan. A simple schedule. Prepare emergency food, water, and medicine, flashlights and documents, locate nearest shelters, fill up gas tank, clear the yard, and turn off the power. When the evacuation order is set, I would be too far away at the time, so my husband would get the kids from home and we...would...evecuate.

Evacuate.

We would meet at the nearest shelter with our separate cars...

Unfortunately, my...sweet...dearest mother decided to take it upon herself to pick up the kids herself...and NOT evacuate. Instead, she wanted her grand babies to feel safe during the storm and cook them a nice meal...at her house.

I almost had a heart attack when my husband said they weren't there. Instead, a note was attached to the fridge reassuring us that my elementary school kids, including a baby, did not infact disappear off the face of the earth. She wants them to feel less threatened and stressed over this "flood nonsense". Make it seem like a regular thunder storm.

Except it's not a thunder storm! It's a hurricane!

I told my husband not to worry about it, I will get the kids and be ok. The hurricane is suppose to be a bad one, the weather man said. Anything left undemolished by the storm by the end of this would be a miracle. Hopefully it won't be my sanity. I swear, she's impossible.

By the time I get to her house, the streets are flowing with water and clawing up her driveway like waves at a beach. I step out and my shoe kerplunks into the water. I groan, feeling my ears eject hot steam. I stomp onto her porch with a squish, squish, squish and jam the key into the lock.

I kick the door open and slam it shut, my anger seeming to accelerate as soon I step inside. I cringe a bit, noticing my youngest asleep on the couch.

"DON'T SLAM MY DO-" my mother sticks her head out through the kitchen doorway and spots me.

"-Oh, hi baby!"

I stretch a tight smile, coaxing my child back to sleep. "Hello, mother."

"You came just in time. I just need to get a few things done before we eat."

And there she is. Like always. Not worrying about a thing while marinating apple cider vinegar on peices of pork. Probably to slice into the-

Sniff, sniff.

-gumbo. Her calm persona was infuriating. Almost insulting.

"Too bad my son in law couldn't be here. He'd love to stuff his face with the beignets" she continues.

"He's at the shelter. Kinda like we're suppose to be" I say, honey tounged and all "which begs the question..." I lean in, my palms face down on the table. "Why aren't we there right now?" I sneer, bringing my voice down.

"Because there's no need to. You know that" she says simply.

"Maybe in your case, but not mine. You just felt entitled to do things your way. Like you always do. I had everything under control and-and you had me worried."

"You know nothing was going to happen to these kids. I knew nothing was really wrong."

"If you really felt so aloof about this, you should have stayed yourself. You can't just up and take my kids like that. We've talked about this."

She finally looks at me, turning away from her task. "I should be free to see my own grand kids whenever I want to."

"I would have probably excepted that, if we weren't in the middle of a god damn hurricane-"

"Momma! Momma look!"

I was interrupted by my two children excitedly telling me that a pie was on the way. All while showing me their hands, proof of a raspberry massacre. Animated. Passion. Triumph. Pleasant. I ruffle their heads with a quick "good job" and they ran off together. Their happiness almost cures my frustration. It does calm me down a bit though.

"Is is so much to want to keep your family safe" my mother asks.

Aaaaaaand its back.

"Is it so much to just listen to me? To just let me do things my way? I am in no less danger than you are just because I dont have the same... tools that you do."

"It looks like it puts you in a lot of danger if you have to evacuate the city. You could simply come here so momma can protect you."

"That makes me look like a normal person, mom. The streets are already flooding and a ton of people just saw me go the opposite direction. I look stupid and suspicious." I'm taken back to my teen years. Having a similar conversation with my mother. "Not everything can be solved with your protection. I can make my own decisions. But instead you undermine me and tamper with everything around you. Just because I dont have it, doesn't mean I cant keep my family safe or simply be a mother. How about, for once, you let mother nature do her job."

"Your father made this house with his bare hands, rehydrating himself with his sweat. No one is touching this house. Not even Cosmo's or Gaia or whatever." She huffs and turn away. A puff of steam emerges over her head, indicating she opened the pot of Gumbo.

"Well, when your the Matriarch, you can start making the rules around here."

Realizing an apology isn't coming, I groan restricting myself from wrapping my hands around her throat. Its silence between us, as there is after every altercation. Especially when the house is mentioned, cause it's always Papa's house. He passed away before I could even learn to speak his name. Mama always told us about Papa. How she met him, how he put her on her feet and built a house for her (it was told he even built the bricks holding this house up), how his devotion to his family and the love of his life lasted until death did them part.

"What makes you think I'm going to be the next Matriarch?" I ask, slipping in the kitchen chair.

"You will. It's a family tradition that you need to uphold. And you are the only girl conceived by me." She answers, this sounds almost rehearsed.

"Why don't the others take your place?" I ask, for the millionth time.

"It's only rare that a boy has ever been in place of a woman. And once a girl was brought in, he was removed immediately."

"If it's that simple then crown them and get it over with."

"Oh, do you think it's that easy"? She quizzes, slowly turning to me.

"Knowing you, probably not."

"Hyde is much more coordinated than that. If they really didn't think you were worthy, we would have known, but I always knew you were special."

Here she goes again. Hyde,, is supposedly the person that gifts the family with magic, life, and girls. It's the spirirt who thrones and dethrones us. No matter who we are. According to mom, the next Matriarch could be good or bad, Hyde has a plan for them in the end.

Along with Papa's stories, Hyde was always directed towards me because I was the only girl, excluding my half sister. Truthfully there was no way to know if Hyde was actually real. I'm not even sure if my parents have seen it. Mom would tell me tales at night of different women throughout our generation, chosen by Hyde and how I would be like them someday.

Perfect.

"Hyde doesn't give you this gift for no reason" mom reassures "they always have a plan. You can't see everything in a negative light. What if Hyde chooses Clio and you-"

I stop her at the mention of my youngest name.

"I'm not putting that responsibility on my kid" I say sternly, though It probably won't matter what I tell her "Especially if, no offense, she ends up like you. Completely dependent on Hyde's gift. IT didn't give me any when I was born, like the rest of you, and I'd like it to stay that way."

Silence once more.

"Perhaps you're afraid-"

"I'm not afraid-"

"-its okay."

"-Of this imaginary ghost."

"Sure, keep believing that. But when it happens~" she sings.

"When it happens to me, pigs will fly" I sneer, memories of that same sing song tone prodding at me.

She says nothing.

"Just let it go mom, it's just not meant to be. I'm not a child that you can hide under your wings when hail comes. However your gifts came to be, Hyde, the house, whatever, it must've skipped a generation."

She continues to stir. She sputters "but-but the family-"

"-The family doesn't know what's best for me and neither do you. I know I'm the only daughter to the Matriarch. I know I wasn't born with any gifts like my siblings. I know refusing my path makes me an ungrateful child and Hyde will handle me" I say reciting what I also heard throughout my life "But that's not my life. And I'm not defenseless."

She freezes. More silence.

"And, I mean, it's not like having voodoo is easy. It consumes you and it messes a lot of things up. This worlds order and the next."

"That's what the council is for" my mom mutters finally.

"Oh, right. The council. The same family who's just as dependent as you. Do you even remeber a time where you haven't used your gift and actually did things yourself?"

...

...

"Don't you ever think of letting go of this life? Doing things for yourself and not the family? Hyde? Papa's house? I notice how this changes you as you age. If this is the answer to our problems I wouldn't mind the sea taking this house away for a while-"

"Mama! Mama!"

"Wow, look."

I follow my kids voices and they seek for me, a glimmer of wonder and awe in there wide pupils. My 2 boys are pointing to the window in the living room. My sleeping child is now up, standing on her toes to see what her brothers are looking at.

As I begin to walk In the living room, they're rushing back to the kitchen. I take a peek and see a part of the lawn, including my rental car but the road and the neighborhood is gone. A large amount of visible debris is covering up the world around-

No.

No.

That's not debris. That's not wind.

I follow my kids. They've opened the screen door and ventured into the back yard. I race after them and stop in my tracks. The water barrier has followed us to the backyard. My kids are screaming and dancing in the sprinklers as the hurricane is trapping us in its second eye. The oceanic barrier is circling around is, refusing to touch the property. With my kids instructions I look up, the sky is dark above us like it's the dead of night, yet inside the barrier, its murky like a cloudy day.

I can't concentrate. Excitment. Curiosity. Shock. Chills.

I sigh as my daughter wobbles to me and I scoop her in my arms. I can see it now, worst hurricane in 6 years and the Crobitt house still stands. This is similar but not related to the instance when a pair of swings at the run down school across the house seemingly froze in the air a few years ago... CIA is currently investigating...

I gather my children inside, they were starting to go towards the rushing ocean and who knows what'll happen. I shut the door with a defeated sigh and sulk at the table. The beneits sit gracefully with their powder sugar and I worship it by stuffing it in my mouth.

"I told you..."

I look up. My mothers eyes are glowing that familiar bright green and she has that devious smirk on her face. She always gave me that look as a child as if she's trying to tell me something. That, or it's to prove something, which I still dont know. I dont think I ever will.

"...you're father built this house. No one is taking it from me..."

...

...

"Now, elbows off the table."

-------

If you like to write or be creative, perhaps you need inspiration, go check out this book! Its the best!

[starlightxsvt]

Sunrises || Choi Seungcheol au

Pairing: Seungcheol x Female reader

Genre: apocalypse au, slice of life (?), angst, kinda fluff, some action

Warning: zombies, death and stuffs

"Thank you for saving me that day." You murmur to the male sittig next to you.

Seungcheol, in return says nothing, focusing on peeling the apple in his hand.

It was the third day after he saved you and gave you a place to stay. The man didn't offer his name or any other information - though you figured it out from craved wood that hung on his room's door saying, 'Seungcheol's room' - neither asked yours but you enlightened him with it. He doesn't talk much and doesn't like to be talked much but you kept your mouth open anyway.

It was about two months since the strange virus spread and begun the apocalypse and you were lucky enough to have stumbled upon Seungcheol.

"I really mean it." You whisper. "I'm new in this place. Believe it or not but I moved here literally a few days before the apocalypse started."

You didn't get any response to that either.

"Do you have any family? I don't. My mother died long ago and my father's an addict so I basically ran from him."

More silence.

You take in his features which are too concentrated on peeling the apple. His brows were knit to a frown and he chewed on his lower  plump lip.

You swallow, "Who's Sunghoon?" You know you probably shouldn't have asked the question but curiosity got the best of you. You saw the name hanging on one of the rooms which was apparently locked.

He looks up at you, an angry look on his face. "I swear to any higher being up there, if you don't shut your mouth I am going to feed you to the corpses by myself." He stands up murmuring, "This is why I don't like helping people." 

You watch his retreating figure walk inside the house and you sigh, leaning against the apple tree and watching the sunset.

A week later

You thanked the heavens everyday for making you stumble upon a guy who's a farmer. Seungcheol had his own produce, a small field of rice and corns and a few apple and lemon trees. It was safe to say these were more than enough in a time like this.

The electricity is unavailable most of the time but it takes some surprise visits every few days for a few hours. That's when you and Seungcheol wash up and store water.

Your days go by rather quickly thanks to the neat system Seungcheol seems to have established. He had things run so smoothly that it was pretty unbelievable the world was going through an apocalypse right now. You help him around the house, cleaning things up, watering the crops and such. He had his own rules - don't waste water or tissues, don't eat too much, don't talk too much. You tried to follow them at your best but you couldn't stop yourself from starting a little conversation more often that which were only met with silence or threats. But so far, Seungcheol was a guy nice enough and you counted your blessings for meeting him.

A few more days later

When you ran from your place you only took your female necessities. Those were dumb things compared to others who ran away with guns and foods.

You sat in the guest room Seungcheol offered you, thinking about what you were gonna do after these necessities were finished.

Suddenly Seungcheol appears knocking on your door before entering. You turn to look at him as he takes a seat. "We'll be heading out tomorrow."

"Huh?"

"There's a super shop a mile away from here. We're going there."

"Why?"

"Why do you think, smartass? We need to stock up on tissue paper and dry foods. I visited there a couple times after the apocalypse started. Apparently the government and NGO's provide foods and stuffs there for the survivors out here."

"Really?Then where are they? We need to find them. They probably built a shelter, we can go live there."

"Do you think it's that simple?"

"Huh?"

Seungcheol sighs. "They are moving in their own pace, okay? The shelters are probably full now with survivors. When their capacity increases they'll let us know. I have a friend who works at the NGO. If he's okay he'll come for me."

"When was the last time you spoke with him?"

"On the day of the breakout."

"I see."

"Prepare yourself for tomorrow. Since you are living in my place, you are coming with me." He stands up to leave.

"I'm not a wuss, you know." You roll your eyes.

"We'll see."

"Yea. And you know, it didn't hurt to speak with me! We could talk more often Mr. Grumpy!" You call after him.

"Shut up."

The next day

"Listen carefully, don't waste anytime. Just grab the things you need and walk into the car." Seungcheol says parking the car in front of the convenience store.

You nod and watch him load his gun and tuck it behind him.

The store is a mess. Broken pieces and bits of metals everywhere. You both walk in and look for the things you came for. Luck seems to be on your side as you find a couple of dry food packets, some toilet papers and some pads -though they are not the best quality, you have to make do with these. You quickly put them on the tote bag you brought with yourself and turned around.

Seungcheol was on the opposite Isle looking through selves for God knows what. You walk out to the front of the store and see and notice taped there.

Food will be supplied here every week along with other necessities. If you are a survivor please hang in there. Once we manage more accommodation, we will come for you. Regarding the infected, our research says they are deaf, so please use that to your advantage.

You turn around to tell Seungcheol about this but instead you meet the eyes of a corpse. It stands there, a mess of blood and gunk as your soul leaves your body.

It approaches you, making garbled sounds and you take back a few steps. From behind him you see Seungcheol approaching will a huge piece of metal rod.

The corpse doesn't turn back to the noises Seungcheol's feet makes while approaching you through the mess, instead it's focus is solely on you, ready to devour. They're really deaf, huh. It opens its mouth ready to chunk a piece of your body when Seungcheol hits him in the head and bangs a couple more times to make sure it's immobile.

"Quick, get in the car. More of them might be around here."

You two dash back to the car, carrying your goods and he starts the car quickly. You look behind to see more of the corpses appearing from around the store. Dusk was approaching soon which meant the corpses will be more alive and ferocious.

The car speeds through the empty road as you clutch onto your tote bag. "Did you know they were deaf?"

"You didn't?" He throws at you. You roll your eyes at him.

"Thanks for saving me again."

"Maybe next time I won't."

Another couple weeks or so later

"I'm going to the supermarket."

"At this hour? It's almost dusk. Are you crazy?"

You watch as Seungcheol puts on the necessary protection on his arms and legs and checks his gun.

"They people from NGO deliver foods during this time since there is no survivors out at this hour. I'm gonna go there and try to meet the delivery guy. Also I need to refill my car."

"Why?"

"To pass a message."

"To your friend who works at the NGO?"

"Yes. I need to let him know that I'm alive. Then he'll come for me."

"What if he's dead?"

Seungcheol says nothing. You forbid him to leaves a few more times but he completely ignores your pleas saying he has to take a  chance. Before he is out the door, he hands you his gun. "Keep this with you. Until now, they corpses have never been around here so just stay inside the house and you'll be safe. I don't know if you have your memories after you becoming a corpse but if you see me coming here looking like one of them, shoot me."

What? You swallow as your heart tugs.

"Stop talking like that. You don't need to leave. We've plenty of food. We'll get by. Don't do this Seungcheol."

"Remember what I said." He speaks, ignoring you and turns around.

"Wait." You call, tears pooling in your eyes. "At least take the gun with you. You'll need it more than me. Besides I dont even know how to use it."

Seungcheol looks at you for a beat before taking a gun and giving you a small smile - the first one he ever gave you.

You watch him leave as the sky turn in hues of purple and black.

You spend a restless night, sitting in your room watching the sky and thinking about Seungcheol. You think of how he opened up a bit more in the last few days and the moments you shared.

Sunghoon was my brother. He was in the military. We were outside, celebrating his discharge when the infection spread. The corpses got him while he was trying to save me. I failed him.

I waited for him for a long time, thinking he'd come back. He didn't.

Y/n, if I don't return by dawn don't wait for me.

As the night passed anxiety got the best of you. This is it. I lost him. He's gone. I'll have to survive now, alone.

You were about to have a break down as you saw the first streak of light spread through the sky. You walked to the roof of his farmhouse watching the colors in the sky. You start to accept the fact that you're alone from now on. That is until you see Seungcheol's jeep approaching towards the house.

You held your breath and didn't move your position, waiting to see him come out.

You thought sunsets were pretty until you saw Seungcheol's tired figure getting out of the jeep, his eyes meeting yours and flashing a smile, the brightest one probably, at the crack of dawn.

Sunrises were pretty too. Even prettier perhaps.

A/N: Tbh I wasn't so confident in this one but oh well, here it is. Also thank you for loving my previous work, it really means a lot. As for this one, if it doesn't flop, maybe I'll write a part 2 👀.Anyway thanks again! 💖

[thecatladywife]

That Time We Met (3)

Taeyong x Male reader

Fluff (Domestic)

Happy New Year to everyone reading those lines, I wish you all the best !!

I’m really getting back into writing these days with NCT inspiring me a lot, I didn’t expect that at all.

I thank every single one of you who liked the previous chapters and I think I’ll write a couple more on this story about Taeyong before getting onto something else (I’ve got a few ideas in mind with Ten, Johnny, Mark and Jaehyun) However since it’s slice of life, I’ll probably get back to it later.

I hope Chapter 3 is as enjoyable as the first two ! Take care !!

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< (2)

Once inside Taeyong looked like an excited kid in an amusement park, rushing in the living room and staring around. He examined every corner, every little things of your daily life which amused you because you would do the same in his stead.

The room was small, there wasn’t much stuff inside but some shelves with books and boxes, a desk on one side near the windows then a couch big enough for three to sit and a tv in front of it.

Taeyong was standing in front of the couch, captivated by the wall full of photos behind it. He could see your younger self with your first bike, you wearing a dirty apron on your first day as apprentice then other pictures more recent with your motorbike chapter, friends, family and finally some pictures of him, selfies he sent you over the months.

Sitting on the couch, waiting patiently for him to be done you looked up in his direction when you heard him giggle. He grinned at you and pointed at one particular photo on the wall.

“Your brothers and you look like three sizes of the same person.”

 It wasn’t the first time you heard that but you were curious to discover which picture made your boyfriend think that too so you turned around. It was the one from your first cousin’s wedding, you were posing with her and your two brothers wearing the exact same suits. You could only to admit that you did look like triplets in different shapes, your younger brother being taller and bulkier than you when your older brother was one head smaller with a leaner body.

 “So… tell me. Which size do you prefer?”

 You tackled him on the couch and tickled him until his giggles turned into a fit of laughter and he started squirming beneath your body.

Taeyong was a mess once you were done with him, his face hot and red and his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. He was so beautiful with his brown eyes full of mirth and his boyish smile, you felt your heart skip a beat.

You grabbed him by the waist and sat up, bringing him on your lap at the same time and waiting for his answer to your question. He looked you up and down, then back and forth between the photo and you, pointing your brothers with his finger.

 “Hm… this one looks as tall as me so it’ll be awkward when we hug… this one is definitely too big, he would crush me and this one…”

 He slid his arms around your neck and cocked his head from left to right, pretending to examine you. You played along with him, giving him your most charming smile and even copying some facial expression you saw him make on photoshoots.

 “Ohh~ this one is really hot but I don’t know, he looks too flirty…”

 You both burst out laughing, holding each other close until you finally calmed down and cuddled a little bit. Taeyong’s head was resting on your shoulder while you caressed his hair softly, kissing his lips and cheeks from time to time.

 “Alright Goldilocks, come with me. I'll show you around then you’ll see why I’m the best out of the three."

 You crushed your boyfriend in a bear-like hug, earning the cutest whine from him then got up. You were still holding him up in your arms as you walked toward your bedroom.

Since your apartment was bathed in light most of the day you preferred to keep the decoration simple, white walls and touches of dark grey here and there for the furniture, a large bed at the feet of which you displayed a big carpet and then drawers and hangers for your clothes. There wasn't much but it still felt cosy.

You carried him around to show him the toilets first then the bathroom, laughing at how excited he got because of the bathtub. In the end you went back to the living room, Taeyong still clinging at you like a koala as you took him out on the balcony to see the view on Paris’ roofs.

From were you lived you couldn’t see the Eiffel tower but you could catch glimpses of other famous places in the capital like Montmartre and a few others you pointed out to Taeyong.

 "You must've impressed a lot of dates with this view. Is that your special move?"

"Not really... but does it work?"

 As you were up several floors, you were holding him securely in your arms like your instincts told you he might drop if you didn’t. Taeyong leaned so his forehead was against yours and nodded slightly before kissing your lips.

 "We could have breakfast here tomorrow morning… with bread and croissants, what do you think, mon coeur?"

"Sounds good."

 You gazed at your boyfriend fondly and let him kiss you again, much longer this time, your lips still against his as you went back inside and laid him on the couch with you above. You felt Taeyong hand passing on your shaven head, making you shiver and press your body a little harder against his in return. He moaned softly when you started leaving kisses from his jaw to his neck, aware that you wanted to take things further than a few kisses.

 “Y/N… the visit isn’t finished…”

 You lifted your head and stared at your boyfriend, thinking about all the rooms you already showed him. From the bedroom to the toilet, you couldn’t think of more and raised a questioning eyebrow at him, clueless.

 “My apartment isn’t that big. I don’t have anything else to show you.”

 Taeyong shook his head vigorously, his big brown eyes staring at you with so much expectation you felt a bit sorry.  

 “Come on! You didn’t even show me your special place !!”

 You oow-ed when you realized what he was talking about, a soft smile appearing on your face as you looked at him sheepishly.

 “I forgot about that.”

 He snorted at you then pushed you off his body. You watch Taeyong get up and stare down at you with a mocking smile.

 “You literally spend your life in your kitchen and you couldn’t even remember to show it first.”

“Like you’re one to talk… you can spend days playing video games.”

 He shrugged before taking your hands and helping you off the couch. You let Taeyong drag you through double windowed door, separating your kitchen from the living room with large glass panels instead of wall.

He looked in awe at how spacious it was in contrast with the other rooms, noting how well organised you kept it before sitting on the huge worktop.

 “I’ve seen you so many times here when we were on the phone… it feels so familiar and also weird to finally see it with my eyes… like a good kind of weird.”

 You chuckled but you knew exactly what he meant. You felt weird too. Having him by your side now was like a dream.

 “You have no idea how many times I wished you were there with me, Taeyong. I would be cooking and then I would look up… picture you geeking on the couch over there then at one point you’d smile up at me.”

 You cleared your throat, feeling embarrassed after this confession and avoiding your boyfriend’s gaze but Taeyong grabbed your hand in his, pulling you closer then kissing your palm to catch your attention.

 “We can realize your dream now if you want? Well, I mean after I’m done with showering… I feel kind of sticky.”

 You nodded at your boyfriend then sent him away with a kiss, to take his long-deserved shower.

Taeyong came back half an hour later and you couldn’t help checking him out as he crossed the living room and walked toward you in the kitchen. He had change into comfy sweatpants and a black sleeveless shirt that gave you a peak of his slender body from shoulders to the bottom of his ribs and was drying his hair energetically with a towel and looking slightly less tired.  

 "God... I really needed this shower!"

“It felt good ?”

“A bath would’ve been better but yes. Now all that's left is a little bit of sleep and I'll be ready to roam the streets of Paris with you tomorrow”

He came to stand next to you while you were busy preparing dinner, sleeves rolled back on your arms and an apron tied around your hips. You smiled at him then focus back on your task, not realizing that you weren’t paying attention to what he was saying afterwards.

Cooking was a serious business to you so much that once your hands were busy with a knife or a pan, you tended to zone out. More than once, when you were on a video call with Taeyong he had to shout your name to get your attention back so when you barely responded to him, he was well aware that you were already “gone” and probably for a long time.

You were done peeling your potatoes and were focused on mincing garlic when you suddenly felt two arms come around your torso as your boyfriend hugged you from behind, his head reaching no further than your shoulder blade. You turned your head briefly to see him grinning lazily at you and you could feel that he had something in the back of his mind.

 “You come with me."

“Where?”

“To take a nap with me.”

 Knife half in the air and hand steady on one mushroom you were about to chop, you jumped when he bit on your shoulder lightly.

 “Tae!”

“Come~”

“What about dinner?”

“Later…. maybe… let’s take a nap Y/N”

 Taeyong was tiptoeing as his mouth ran from your shoulder to you neck, leaving kisses on the way then going back to biting your skin and making you lose focus.

 "Alright…alright. You go first and… I'll join you once I put the meal in the oven"

"Can't we just order something when we wake up?"

 You scoffed and turned around just to give your boyfriend an indignant look that made him roll eyes at you. Yes, you could be pretty dramatic. However, you really looked forward to cook something for your boyfriend once he arrived, as a butcher working with the most renowned restaurants in Paris, you knew your way in the kitchen and it was a bit of a matter of pride.

 "You really think I'll allow that your first meal in France is a take out?"

"I'm sure we can find some really good restaurant that do delivery."

"What the point of having a boyfriend who can cook if I can't even prepare something delicious to welcome you"

 You really wanted to brag and see his delighted face when he'd dig into your homemade meal but when he buried his head in your back and whined a little bit, you knew you had lost the battle against him.

.

"Y/N~ Can't it wait tomorrow? I just want to stay in bed with you"

 You sighed in defeat and let him take you in the bedroom, untying your apron on the way and throwing it on the kitchen worktop. You let yourself fall down on the mattress and opened your arms for your boyfriend to join you which he did, almost leaping onto you then laying down with his head on your hard chest as he giggled.

 "Happy now?"

"Very much"

 Taeyong let out a long yawn then pecked you on your pectoral and scoot closer to your side. You could feel his tense body relax as you cuddled.

 "Y/N...?"

"Hm?"

"Being in your arms is better than food."

"I think your lack of sleep makes you delirious."

 You laugh at his nonsense and kissed his forehead, tightening your embrace and watching over him as he closed his eyes. Enjoying the moment, you waited for his breathing to even out and his head to feel heavier on your chest, both signs that he was well asleep to slip out of bed and back into the kitchen.

[echo-three-one]

Chapter 24

I should really put effort on summaries, right? Anyways... Enjoy! ❤️

Table of Contents

Going Dark - Part 3

Gary "Roach" Sanderson

MacTavish Residence, Glasgow, Scotland

Roach never would have guessed that MacTavish was a big time. Their 'old' house was already a mansion, complete with guest rooms, extravagant furniture and even an outdoor pool. Roach could stay here forever.

He was laying on a queen sized bed relaxing after a tiring chase earlier when Ghost knocked on his door and let himself in.

"What's wrong mate?" he asked, lifting only his head. Ghost leaned by the door and crossed his arms.

"You know how I got into a little argument with France back in Brazil right? Well, I still regret it ever happening…" he frowned, as shown by the way the fabric of his mask twitched.

"You regret which part? The fighting or the telling her what you feel?" Gary asked, cornering the ever vague Simon. He always does that when it comes to asking for advice.

Ghost ran a hand across his face and groaned.

"Bloody Hell, mate. Why do you have to ask those kinds of things?" he complained.

"So I could be clear as to which one I should recommend you to do." He replied quickly. He was very willing to help, but if Simon refuses to cooperate, then maybe he could handle it on his own.

"There's still one thing… I've been meeting with Alexandra not just for intel… " the tone of his voice was hesitant but he took a sharp inhale and continued.

"... we've also been sleeping together. No strings attached. For her it eases her tension from all the work while I try to forget about my feelings for Francine."

Gary didn't know what to say. Simon wasn't the kind of person to give up easily, and he fully understood the reasons for his latest actions.

"Well, it looks like Francine already made her choice, right?" Gary asked, trying to confirm from Simon that he already lost the battle.

"I'm not quite sure. Everytime I see her, she's physically distancing herself from Soap but later that night, they actually slept beside each other. She's making me confused and it still makes my heart beat for her…" Ghost admitted. As tough as he is on the battlefield, so was his admiration toward Francine. Gary pondered on how to help out his friend in this love triangle situation he caught himself in, but every direction he thought of would result in Ghost actually ending up sad.

The discussion was interrupted when a plane was heard from the distance, as it approached the nearby open area. It looked like the girls made it home.

"Looks like they're here." Roach sounded excited while Ghost looked worried.

~

It was impressive how they managed to bring most of their stuff from Brazil here in Scotland. It wasn't that much but the idea of packing things for six people in a hurry made Roach impressed.

"How did you bring most of this stuff?" Roach curiously asked Maxine as he helped her carry her stuff.

"Well, Samantha asked for help from his Dad and they immediately flew to Brazil." Maxine replied cheerfully, Roach loved how she managed to see the bright side of everything amidst the panic.

"So will Samantha-"

"No. They had a long talk with his Dad and she felt much safer back here with us. Her Dad wanted to offer help now that the New York Attack was over, but Samantha insisted, especially now that they're out hiding."

"Doesn't he have the power to like, pardon us for being wanted? That would make life much more easier for us."

"I thought of that too… but they're seeing Shepherd differently now. He's gone mad. And they want to corner him. Any action involving him may result in a global cripple. And I just heard all this on the plane ride here." Maxine frowned.

"Then that makes our job of locating him all worth it." Roach smiled giving hope to Maxine.

Maxine just nodded, her face was full of fear and doubt. She just wished all of this was over.

With Soap probably asleep, Roach had the liberty of touring the girls around the house, it was huge and spacious that each of them could occupy a room with about two more rooms to spare.

"Man, I could stay here forever." Roach mused as they walked the halls of the second floor. These four rooms are already occupied, most of the empty rooms are over there…" Gary pointed to the other end of the hall. Maxine looked at France and nodded as they both agreed to stay in one room.

"What about you, Miss Samantha?" Gary asked with sophistication, imitating a butler. Samantha giggled and blushed.

"I'll actually be sleeping with Alex, thanks Mr. Sanderson." she replied, playing along with Roach's role play. For a short moment, Roach felt relaxed. He hasn't felt like this for a while and it was too overwhelming. But while the enemies hid in the shadows, he was sure the team would be up for a tough fight anytime soon.

Despite being tired, Roach couldn't sleep. He felt that there was something or someone else he needed to consult. So, he decided to get up and get himself a glass of water down the kitchen. While he could hear himself gulping down a glass of water, he could also hear faint thumping from the basement. With high alert, he began descending down the stairs to investigate the source of the sound.

It was Simon. He was still up and doing sparring rounds with a red punching bag, each of his punches sent the bag swinging violently.

"You okay?" Gary finally asked, alerting Simon of his presence.

"Can't sleep." he said nonchalantly, giving the punching bag another mighty punch. Roach took a minute to admire the huge gym Soap had, each piece of equipment probably spent a fortune. He slowly paced to the small area filled with equipment and grabbed himself some boxing mitts and a protective helmet.

"So, why don't we resume our little talk?" Gary called as he presented himself to Simon on full boxing coach gear. Simon immediately positioned himself and Gary did the same as they began training with the intention of talking it out.

Simon's punches were heavy, Roach could feel a little emotion on each hit he made and it was starting to make him unstable.

"So, anything you'd want to discuss?" Roach initiated, his hands carefully met his punches as they circled around the area.

"I've been trying to ignore her, Gary. You see me try right? But the more I don't think of her, the more excited I get when I accidentally see her. It's frustrating." He explained in between his punches. There it was, the thing bothering him the most.

"What did she say back in Brazil? She probably said something that kept you from moving on. I can't think of anything else that might cause you to feel this way, unless you're lying." Roach tilted his head so he could see Simon's reaction. His punches stopped coming and he just stood there, his hands dropped to his sides.

"She… she didn't say anything… but she distances herself to John while I'm around."

"John MacTavish or John Price?" Gary interrupted, in an attempt to brighten up the mood, but instead all he got was Simon's 'are-you-kidding-me-right-now?' look.

"But when I'm not around, she finds time to see him…" Simon continued. Gary took off his gloves and tapped his shoulder.

"She… she was being considerate." Simon concluded. It looked like Gary did his job. He could feel Simon's shoulders relax upon realizing what was actually going on.

"Despite all that… she sacrificed a little just to not hurt you." Gary added, he had no intention of making Simon guilty but now that he realized it, he was making an impact toward the relationship that was blooming between Soap and France.

"Thanks, Gary. For being a great friend…" Ghost took off his gloves and walked out of the gym.

"... and the worst therapist." He joked with a grin as he walked up the stairs and left Gary in the gym.

"I hope you find your peace, Simon." Gary muttered.

The following morning, the team was already busy walking around the house. Soap was on the phone with a long list of things the girls ordered for their restock. It was planned that for the time being, the team was to stay in the MacTavish residence while Nero and Shepherd were off the grid.

Price and Jack started their own little command center inside Soap's father's office just by the living room. They began creating connections to their closest contacts to track activity from their enemies. Ghost seemed to be not around at the moment and Gary guessed he's still asleep.

Soap nodded a greeting to Roach as he walked by him on his way to the kitchen. Maxine and France were out opening drawers and anything in the pantry to clear up space for supplies. From the kitchen window, Gary spotted Samantha, Alex and Nikolai in front of a truck. Gary overheard that Nikolai wanted to go back home and he guessed today was the day he'd do so.

"I didn't know what kind of sugar you needed so I kinda ordered a bunch of em." Soap announced to the sisters and they laughed.

"The clerk kept asking me of brown, white, confectioners and some other and honestly I don't know which." he shrugged and scratched his head.

"Hey man, I was just wondering… why did you choose the risky life? When you had everything you ever needed here?" Gary asked the question that has been bothering him since he got here.

"I dunno Roach. It's just that I knew it was calling out to me… You also sound like my Mum when I told her I'm joining the force." he chuckled. Gary just nodded but still didn't understand his logic. But he dismissed the thought as soon as Maxine and France asked for his help reaching something by the cabinets.

The rest of the day was busy. Once supplies arrived, everyone else was preoccupied. Lifting boxes, arranging items, looking for intel. It was like they made their own 141 base inside the house.

By the time they're almost free, Roach and Maxine were already in the kitchen preparing for dinner.

"So, any new dreams lately?" Roach initiated as he sliced through the vegetables they're cooking.

"Piece by piece. Last night I remembered having gum stuck on my hair on picture day. I cried a lot." she giggled. Roach smiled, he was glad she's getting her memories back which made him remember of Samantha's case.

"Ow!" Gary winced as he accidentally cut a short scrape on his thumb. He was so busy staring at Maxine that he forgot he was chopping.

"Don't worry. It's just a small wound." Gary assured as Maxine pulled his thumb close to her mouth and blew air through it, just like when you're a kid and you do that to ease the pain.

Gary couldn't help but smile at her immediate action. She also looked concerned and worried about his welfare.

"Hey Max." he whispered, making the girl turn to him, her face was so beautiful in Gary's eyes.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Nothing… It's just that…"

"What is it? You're making me worried"

"I really really like you, Maxine Winters."

Maxine looked at him in the eye, the eye contact they were doing was starting to make the world fade behind them.

"Guys! I have bad news." Soap interrupted, causing everyone to form a small circle by the living room.

"Ghost left. With a note saying he'll try to gather more information on Shadow Company with Alexandra's help. He says thanks and that he'll see us all soon." Soap summarized the note. The room fell silent.

Next Chapter : Off the Grid

Notification Squad my Beloved

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