#tw reader self-harms

[star1ight0]

Shouta Aizawa, Hizashi Yamada x PLATONIC KID!!

I crave comfort so here

Tw : Ed /sh

Not many people were aware of your relationship with your homeroom teacher and English teacher known as Mr. Aizawa and his loud husband Mic but they were your dad's. In the beginning of the year they both made it clear no special treatment would be given and you appreciated it a lot.

This also came with its ups and downs trying to fight the urge to hug you dad in front of class after villain attacks ect, as much as they'd both fight it they also struggled to accessively check on you when you all moved to dorms.

Having grown up always close to him after they adopted you from a abusive home. had its drags on you all You weren't entirely sure when this overwhelming feeling of despair started but it felt so shitty, you had no reason to feel this way you had a good life. Loving dads, a nice school and a few friends you hold dear to you. It was so long ago why was this still bothering you.

You remembered a conversation you had with your dad, Mic recalling how Aizawa was struggling with mental health and how it wasn't an effect of things around him but rather his brain chemistry. You looked at your phone debating on calling your family group chat to ask them for help but managed to talk yourself out of it resorting to crying on your closet floor.

After a few minutes of crying you managed to pull yourself together grabbing some clothes and deciding this was all in your head and you had no reason to feel so shitty. Heading out your room you feel a tap on your shoulder "it's past curfew kid" you turn around to see you father Hizashi looking around you you look back at him eyes still puffy "Sorry dad, just needed a shower" you say attempting to walk away when you feel a hand in you wrist "were you crying little listener?" You flinch at the childhood nickname your dad had given you "No, sorry just tired" you say pulling away "either your high or you were crying which one is it kid" He says pointing to your eyes "its nothing dad please just let me shower"

You pull away walking away leaving your dad in the hall alone. You took a long shower, trying to scrub off the memories of your past home. You get out the shower and go back to your dorm laying down on the floor ignoring the fact your bed was no more than 3 feet away. You look at your phone to see Aizawa texted you

You okay kiddo?

Yeah sorry for worrying y'all just a bad day

Are you sure

Yeah

If you say so, me and Hizashi are here if you need us. Now go to bed it's late

The conversation was short and to the point but you still felt the need to want to call him and tell him these awful feelings you were having.

A few days passed when you got an email from an all too familiar name, it was your biological mom. The very same woman who had given you physical and mental problems along with nonstop nightmares for 2 years. You had changed everything phone number, social media accounts anything that she could you to find you. Yet her name is in your inbox with a paragraph calling you names and threatening you. Everything felt so out of control like nothing you did to get away from her was enough. But she knew now, she knew what school you went to. 1-A had been on TV after all, you should have known it was only a matter of time. You looked at your phone blankly feeling your body shake and tears fall from your face. You reached for your pocket knife making a cut on your thigh it felt good like you finally had control over how you felt like you had control over something when everything around you was so chaotic. This was bad you knew that but it felt too good to want to care.

Overtime the threatening emails from your mother piled up only feeding the fear she'd find you and harm you, in turn causing more scars to be formed on your legs. You dads had quickly talked notice to you change in dimanar and talked it over amongst themselves and tried to reach out to you but it was all brushed off as a bad week or a bad day.

This began to escalate more than your lack of interest in food came about you seemed so tired too tired to even eat. This is where they drew the line. No kid of theirs would be passing out in training. They just couldn't figure out how to talk to you about this without you shutting down and shutting them out.

Monday morning training came about and you felt exhausted like your whole body was about to give out. This was only further proven when you passed out before training with Todoroki without him even activating either of his quirks. Both Hizashi and Aizawa rushed to your side as another student ran to get recovery girl. You woke up in the nurses office with both your dad's next to you looking worried out their minds.

"Recovery girl said you'd be fine.. as long as you ate and drank probably." There was a silence filled with worry and a bit of anger

"I'm sorry dad-" you were cut off by Hizashi hugging you, "please don't scare me like that kid" he said holding you as if you were gonna disappear. "Talk to us if you need to kiddo. You know we'll listen. "

You hugged him back going back to your dorm early as you were excused from all classes for the day, sitting on your floor you checked your phone to see another email this time from your biological father. Your mom texting you was one thing you knew in some way she didn't have the gut to actually hurt you but your dad, he'd hunt you down and kill you, metaphorically and literally. You felt a wave of fear washing over you and you sobbed standing up hands on your head pacing around your room crying and shaking. You reach for your knife once more sliding down the wall making a cut in an almost fully healed scar feeling that feeling of control comes back. You made a few more before stopping, taking a deep breath grabbing your first aid kit sitting in the same spot on the floor. Yeah, you felt stupid but not stupid enough to not clean this kind of thing. As you were cleaning up you heard a knock at your door

"Kid? It's us can we talk?"

Aizawa says still waiting at the door "Y-yeah give me a minute please!!" You shout rushing to put the first aid kit away and some sweatpants and throw your knife under the bed you wipe your face, and open the door

"Kid are you okay you look a little.. worse than earlier "

"yeah I'm fine just not in a great mood," you said looking at your phone placed in the far end of the bed. They both came Into your room sat on your bed and attempted to talk to you about what had been bothering you. The conversation went in circles before you placed your head in Aizawa's lap. Your dad Hizashi, was standing at the foot of your bed about to leave when he was stopped by a blood stain on the floor.

"Shouta, I think we should stay till she wakes up"

"hm. I mean I'm not against it but why ?"

He points at the blood spot on the floor and Shoutas eyes widen.

"they are knocked out right now so can you look for whatever is being used ?"

He nods looking around your room eyes landing on a pocked knife shining under your bed.

"here, I'll put it in our room," he says showing Shouta before closing it and placing it in his pocket, as he was above to leave he stopped by the light of your phone along with a name he recognized followed by a scowl.

"Shouta I'm gonna check their phone for something"

He gives Hizashi a confused look but unable to move because of your sleeping form he allows him to do so, you trusted them enough to let them know your passwords but they had never not trusted you enough to go through your phone. He opens the email, reading it and seeing ll the others. He made a face of pure disgust and walked toward Shouta showing him the inbox along with one of the emails it had.

Both had decided to stay in your room till morning, planning to talk to you about this night of unfortunate events. But this was cut short by the feeling of you hyperventilating in Shoutas lap. Hizashi gently shakes him awake and they both attempt to comfort you ultimately failing as you wake you shaking tears forming in your eyes. An all too familiar scene for your dad's to witness.

"it's okay kid, your okay" Hizashi whispered patting your head as Aizawa rubbed your shoulder.

"sorry i-"

"No apologies. We know everything so there's no need to hide anything from us anymore"

Shouta says looking up at his husband

"you could have really hurt yourself kid"

"i know I just - "You were cut off by a knot in your throat as you scrambled to find the words "Everything feels so out of control and I can control this you know?" Shouta nodded in agreement.

"Why did you come to us kiddo?

"i- I didn't want you to worry you. You guys had enough going on.."

You said your voice is still shaking between sobs.

"you'd never be a bother to us. It's our job as you parents to check on you and worry for you"

You all had a long talk about possible coping strategies and ways to communicate if you wanted to talk about something without feeling bothersome. A few relapses were bound to happen and they both knew this but did everything they could to ensure it didn't. Even if it meant letting the whole class know you were their kid so you could go in the teacher's wing of the dorms. You began slowly getting better with setbacks here and there, but by setting up a new email and talking more about what your depression episodes felt like, both your dads were able to help you through it

Yes it's messy I wrote 75% of this in one go and the other half after my shower. And it's like 12:58am

Requests are open but slow

Please reach out if you need to to!!

[veren-cos]

Bachelors (sdv) x gn!reader

Bachelors and self-harm comfort

TW mentions of Self Harm and suicidal ideation.

If you struggle with either of these, I strongly encourage you to reach out to someone and get help. You are not alone.

These are not super graphic, but definitely more graphic than my other fics if you have read those. So please read with caution.

These are all assuming you are in an established relationship.

Sam

• This was a long standing issue for you. You knew Sam would find out eventually one way or another, so you made it a point to tell him rather then him accidentally finding out.

• But when you did tell him, it was pure panic.

• He doesn't know how to help you, he didn't know how he never noticed! Does he tell anyone? Does he call anyone? Why didn't you tell him until now??

• Once he gathers himself a little bit, he asks for more details.

• He knows that you need him, and not to make it about him by breaking down.

• He starts keeping an extra eye out for if you are acting any different, or if he sees any warning signs.

• He tries really hard to be there for you, and knows he won't be perfect.

• Makes a trip to Harvey's to ask how to help 'someone' who struggles with sh and suicidal ideation.

• Harvey suggested that Sam brings that 'someone' to the clinic with him to have a little chat.

• You and Sam head down one day and you all make a plan on what to do when things get really bad.

• Mostly involves extra support, and you getting into a therapist on a semi-regular basis.

Sebastian

• Sebastian I think would be the most aware of the signs besides Harvey?

• So when he sees you avoiding him a bit, or not letting him touch you when normally you're all over him, he knows something is wrong.

• "Babe, whats up?" He gentle grabs your arm. "What's wrong? You've been acting different for a while now. Are you okay?"

• He isn't accusatory or anything when you tell him. He just pulls you into a tight hug.

• He just wants to be there for you. Self Harm is a really difficult topic, both to experience, and to witness. He tries to get to the cause of why you do it, but you honestly don't even know.

• You know you shouldn't, but sometimes it feels like all you can do.

• After talking about it for a long time, you eventually go to sleep in his arms.

• When you wake up, he already had some sort of breakfast made because he knew you'd be too tired.

• He left out some super old books about mental health he had (Aka like one from high school) and offered to look through them with you.

• Checks in with you frequently, and isn't one to dance around the topic. Yes, he handles it gently and shocking calmly, but he knows you can't avoid talking about it.

Alex

• Not going to lie, the way I see a relationship progressing (Aka kinda intense and fast paced) he would find out before intimacy.

• You were already a little nervous so you completely blanked on your old scars and relatively new self harm.

• So when he saw, you panicked, and then he panicked because you were panicking, and all around it was chaos.

• Nothing went to plan that day because you just ran to the bathroom to cry.

• ...

• He knocked on the door, "babe.. Could you come out please? We should talk about this."

• "I don't want to"

• " Babe come on." He tried the handle and it opened.

• "It's okay. You're okay. I'm not mad, now can you talk to me about this?"

• You opened up and told him everything. With Alex being the most stereotypically attractive out of all the Bachelor's, you'd be very nervous about letting him see scars.

• But he doesn't care. He thinks they are proof of how strong you are and how far you have come.

• "Babe I just want to be here for you. We don't have to rush anything. I don't care if you have scars, you're beautiful. I love you, and you will get through this."

Harvey

• Harvey finds out during your first physical.

• This I feel would be just after you started dating.

• But he asks the dreaded question of "have you had thoughts of hurting yourself or others?"

• You knew you had to tell him. No matter how awkward or emotionally taxing it got, it was important both in your relationship and for your personal health.

• So you did.

• He let his little doctor mask slip because he thought he already knew all your medical business, and that this was just a formality.

• "Dear..?" He looked so sad for you. "Why haven't you told me this?"

• Legit starts tearing up, because how on earth could you hate yourself? And to the point of hurting yourself?

• You start apologizing for not telling him sooner, "Harvey we had just started dating, I didn't want to put too much on you too soon. This is my problem to deal with!"

• And then he takes a few deep breaths, and collects himself to do this in a more professional manner.

• "My love, you do not have to go through this alone. I need you to tell me if you ever feel like.. hurting yourself. Okay? Call me. Call the clinic. Get me if I'm home. I will be there for you."

• "Even if we weren't dating, I would still be there for you! So no matter how much I care for you, because I so deeply care for you, this is my job."

• Sets you up with a therapist in the city, because he knows that even if you know you can talk to him, it's good to have a non-personal professional to be able to talk to.

Shane

• You helped him, now it was his turn to help you.

• Found out a morning he woke up early and you forgot to close the bathroom door. Not a fun scene to wake up to.

• I don't want to say he got angry, but he shouted,

• "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?"

• It was more out of sheer panic and distress rather than anger.

• You panicked, dropped everything, and basically burst into tears on the spot apologizing.

• Then he freaked out even more because he yelled at you and ran to give you a tight hug.

• Shane tried to calm you down, but it took a really long time to get you to stop hyperventilating.

• Eventually, he helped you clean everything up, and although it was really hard for you, he took you to Harvey's.

• Shane knew that he wouldn't be able to give you all the help you needed, he was still recovering himself.

• But he tries really hard to help, the same way you do with him.

• He helped you set up going to a therapist. You go to the same office as he does.

• He will be there for you every step of the way. Won't let you go.

• He truly understands, and just wants the both of you to feel better.

Elliott

• He would feel guilty for not noticing the signs.

• "My love..?" He is just so confused when he sees. "My love what did you do?"

• Doesn't exactly panic but is just dumbfounded. How could you hate yourself? How could you not like yourself? Why on earth..?

• He helps you clean up, though is a little queezy with blood.

• He would keep himself relatively strong in front of you, but you hear him crying for you when he thinks you're asleep.

• He is there for you, he asks Leah because he trusts her (though would not actually bring up your name. Would make it under the guise of a situation in his book)

• He wouldn't invade your privacy. But he just would check with you a lot more.

• He loves you, and just wants to see you love yourself.

An* Once again, if you struggle with self harm or suicidal ideation, please reach out for help. Helplines and resources are a quick Google away for your area. You are not alone. I promise things will get better.

Masterlist

[sweetchildcloud]

||Cherish me part 2 || written by me

🔞 Gojo x reader| Minors DNI| TRIGGER WARNING 🔞

Plot: Gojo taking care and pampering a depressed raeder [self insert only about he depression and shower,not about the abusive mother ,i just wanted to add more angst lol]

Tags: sh,depression,Gojo x reader,cute,fluff,comfort,implied naked shower together,Gojo pampering you,past abuse mention,scalding,abusive mother(reader) [ viewers be aware,if this is touchy or unconfortable for you then don't go haed]

Warning: it starts immediately with sh talking

i'm no english native so sorry for some mistakes

please reblog 🔁 and like❤️

P.S: yesterday i did a shower thinking of Gojo doing it for me and since i feel depressed lately i wanted to write this and share my comfort.

i'm so delusional. lol

@muzansslxt @candy69gurl @kiwicopia

Satoru doesn’t let you finish. “Your cuts” he continues, almost as if he can’t bring himself to look away. “From last week and today” his voice is so soft, barely audibly.

He reaches out and takes your wrists between his hands, turning them over as he examines the cuts. “I know you weren’t just ‘scraping’ yourself” he says in a sharp tone. “You’re hurting yourself.”

“I-“ you try and pull your wrists away, but he firmly holds onto them. You flinch and quickly try and brush it off. You’re not ready to talk about it. But you know he won’t let it go.

“You’ve been doing this for a while now, haven’t you?” He doesn’t let you answer, and he’s holding onto your wrists too tightly. It hurts. “Tell the truth.”

“It doesn’t matter!” you finally cry out, your voice cracking. “I’m fine. I don’t need anyone. I just…I…”

Satoru doesn’t allow you to finish. He pulls your hands up to his chest and hugs you. Not just a friendly hug, he pulls you in tightly, almost as if he’s worried about losing you.

“It’s not okay” he says softly, stroking your hair. “You’re not okay.”

“I’m fine, I swear…” your voice cracks, and you know you’re close to crying. You’re not okay but it’d be better if he didn’t worry about you. You shouldn’t be so emotional anyway.

“I just…” you trail off. He’s holding you so tightly as he strokes your hair gently. It’s so soothing, and you can’t help but wish he would hold you like this always.

You just… you just want to be held.

He squeezes you tighter, and the two of you stay like this for a few moments. It’s too quiet, and you can almost hear his heartbeat.

Satoru presses a light kiss to your head then finally lets go. “I’ll run you a shower, okay? Go get cleaned up” he says softly. He holds your hand and walks you into the bathroom, helping you strip and giving you privacy. But it’s okay. You’ll be okay.

"But I don't want to shower" You whimpered annoyed

He gives you a firm look. “It wasn’t a question” he says simply, and begins undressing.

He’s already running the shower, and the bathroom fills with a warm haze. He strips out of his jacket and then his shirt, leaving only his boxers on. You can see the scars from countless battles marking his pale skin. Every muscle of his body is well-defined. And all you can do is stare in awe.

"You're gonna shower with me?" You spoke as he tugs you in towards the shower

“Of course.” He says it so simply and his bright blue eyes look into yours. “I’m gonna make sure there aren’t any razors in here, and then I’m gonna wash you myself. We need to clean out those cuts before they get infected.”

He stands under the water for a moment then grabs your soap, lathering your body with it slowly. He takes his time, moving gently and examining you closely. You almost feel like he’s worshipping you.

He takes a breath as he glances at your back and continues to lather you in soap. He’ll bring the burn up later. But for now he focuses solely on cleaning you.

Once he’s done, he reaches out and grabs the shampoo. “Head back, close your eyes.” You do, and he pours the shampoo onto your hair and then slowly washing it and massaging your scalp.

You trembled as your big burn scar on your back was exposed,memories flooded your mind,your mother pouring hot water on you calling you 'useless child'

You flinch and start to tremble as the memories return to you. The words from your mother play endlessly inside your head.

The sound of soap slipping through his hands brings you back to reality, and he continues to massage your scalp without skipping a beat.

He finishes massaging your hair gently, and then he takes the conditioner and rubs it through your hair carefully. He doesn't say anything for a moment until he's done, and then he pulls you against his chest tightly.

He rests his chin on the top of your head as he pulls you even closer. He nuzzles your hair and wraps his arms around you tightly. He holds you so close and protects you so gently. He doesn’t care about your scars or the pain that lingers over your heart. He doesn't know about your abusive past. He just holds you and comforts you, wanting nothing in return but your happiness. "It's okay" he says quietly, kissing the top of your head.

"it's not…ugly?" You asked trembling "i don't remember much..just my mum calling from the kitchen and then..she tooked the pot with boiling water in it that was supposed to be used for ramen and just…poured on me"

"Shh" he says, pressing his mouth onto your forehead to soothe you and distract you from those haunting memories.

"It doesn't matter" he whispers, as the water from the shower splashes.

"I don't care about your scars" he continues softly. "They're part of you. And who you are is beautiful."

The water cascades down your body, making your hair slick. He continues to trace his fingers along your scars, not judging or making any comments. Just… embracing them.

"Scars are proof that you survived what broke you" he says in a comforting tone. He kisses your forehead again and continues to stroke your hair as the water rinses the conditioner out.

"And that alone makes you strong" he says firmly.

"Plus, I think they look pretty. And who doesn't love scars?"

His tone is playful, although you can tell he's serious about not caring about the scars.

You feel like you're stuck in time. His voice is like a lullaby that soothes you. He strokes your hair, and the water makes your skin feel warm. You lean into him, and he holds you tighter.

All of your past trauma… all of your fears. It all feels like it's fading away in his arms. No matter how broken you may be, he'll always be there to pick up the pieces.

After a while, he turns off the water and dries you off with a towel before helping you put on a robe.

His hand runs up and down your back, massaging you and helping you relax. You're so grateful for his touch. After a while, he speaks up, his voice so gentle and soothing.

"Do you have a skincare routine?" He asks, sounding more curious than anything. "I'm guessing…you don't."

"do i look bad? does my skin feel bad?" You asked sounding hurt

"That's not what I meant" he says quickly. "Sorry, I guess I phrased that badly."

He pauses for a moment, thinking, and then gives you a small smile. "Your skin looks healthy. Maybe a little dull, but that's easy to fix. I was just wondering if you had a skincare routine or not."

When you don't reply, he continues "We should work on one for you" he says excitedly. "We can go out shopping together. I can show you the products I use. That would be fun, right? Plus, you wouldn't have to go out alone."

When he asks about shopping with you, he says it so excitedly, sounding like a kid asking his crush on a date.

"If you're the one putting products on me then.." you snuggled into his chest,you hand cupped and covered by the robe sleeve "I guess it will be okay" you mumbled

He chuckles and pulls you in closer. "Does that mean yes?" he asks softly, his hand stroking your cheek.

"And not just for shopping, I can help with applying products. And maybe you can try that face mask I bought. It says it'll give you 'radiant' dewy skin'."

He pauses for a beat and giggles softly. "I think it might look cute on your cheeks" he says, making you laugh too. The sound is so contagious.

Satoru smiles wider and ruffles your hair affectionately, his hands moving to your shoulders. "We could make a night of it. Order some food, and I can do a face mask too. I'm sure it'll look great on me." He winks playfully, clearly making up excuses to spend time with you.

Your eyes flicker to the floor when you realize that's all he wants. Time. As much time as he can make with you. He wants to fill each second of life with you.

“And I’ll tell you a secret.” He pauses for a beat again, and you listen intently, trying to understand what “secret” he would feel the need to tell you. “You’ll be the first person to see me with makeup on” he says in a whisper. “And I’m nervous.”

He chuckles lightly and rubs your shoulder again. The robe slips off your shoulder, and he pulls it back up, fixing it onto your body before speaking again.

“We should get matching face masks” he says. “Y’know, make it cute.” This time his tone is playful, and he grins down at you. “We could watch a movie or something. I’ll even set up a blanket fort for us to cuddle inside” he says, sounding like a child once again.

He’ll do anything for you. And you know that by now. His voice is so soft, and his eyes are warm as he studies your expression.

“And we’ll get snacks” he continues excitedly. “Popcorn, Doritos, chocolate. Do you like Cheetos? I can buy some cheesy Cheetos.”

He pauses, waiting for a response. It’s always cute to see him so giddy. “We’ll make a mountain of snacks out of the blanket fort and lie in it all night” he says, his voice full of wonder.

“I…I wanna make a memory with you, y’know? We can do anything you want.”

He rubs your shoulder again and then your hair. “So, what do you think? Wanna have a skincare night with me? We’ll make it a date night or something.”

He leans in and kisses your forehead. “And then we do the blanket fort the next time. You can decorate it however you want, and I’ll follow along.”

“And then you can tell me all about your scars” he chuckles, rubbing the back of your neck. “We can talk about anything you want.”

A few moments pass, and you don’t say anything, feeling lost in thought. Eventually, you speak with soft voice. “Yeah…” you say, feeling oddly giddy inside as if you’re a kid on Christmas morning. “That would be really nice, actually.”

He smiles and tilts your head up so that he can look you in the eye. “Then we have a date” he says, making his voice sound very enthusiastic. “It’ll be a big skin care night with movie and snacks and…”

“And more snacks, right?” you ask, and he nods enthusiastically.

“I’m gonna do a whole night dedicated to you” he continues. “We’ll focus on your skin, get some good food, and cuddle in a blanket fort.”

Your heart feels like it’s pounding through your chest as you think of all the things he suggested. “It sounds amazing…” you hesitate before continuing. “Do you promise it’s gonna be…c-cute?”

“It’ll be the cutest” he says with such conviction that you don’t know how it could be possible.

“Trust me, everything we do together is bound to turn out cute.” He grins goofily and strokes your cheek gently.

“It’ll be a date night of just us. I can’t think of anything I’d rather be doing.” He pauses for a moment and looks you in the eyes again. “Nothing would be cuter to me than just spending the night with you.”

You grin sheepishly as you stare back at him. Your stomach twists in knots and your skin flushes.

His words are simple but you melt at their sincerity.

His bright smile, his eyes filled with a soft kind of love. Just the way he stares at you and speaks to you fills you with butterflies.

You know that he means every single word; there's no deceit in them.

In the silence between you, you realize just how important he is to you. You can't imagine a life without him in it.

[y0urm0mst0es]

I'll Kiss Your Scars

Sal Fisher x reader comfort fic

Summary: You and Sal are seniors in high school, both of you still living in the apartments. After a long night of self-loathing, you decide to visit Sal to try and feel better.

Or

You and Sal get together after he cleans you up and comforts you ig

TW: reader sh, scars, blood, self-hate I think, smut and allat. Characters are 18 and Sal might be ooc but whatev. Reader is afab and y/n is used. Wrote the last part while high😔. Pls let me know if I missed something!

It was around midnight. The moon shone through your balcony window as you sat on your bed, tears rolling down your face. Blood from your newly cut wounds had stained your sweatshirt and pajama pants. Looking over to your nightstand, you see the walkie-talkie Sal had given you around the time you first met. You grab it and press the talk button, hoping Sal is still awake.

“Sal?” you say, your voice shaking.

“Y/N? What’s up?” he answers. Taking a deep breath, you spoke again.

“I’m sorry, were you sleeping? I didn’t mean to wake you or anyth-”

"No, no, I wasn't sleeping so don't worry about it. Is something wrong?" He was always so sweet, worrying if you were okay. That's probably one of the reasons you fell for him.

"I just…I don't think I can be alone right now, you know? Can I come over?" You knew his dad was working late so you wouldn't have to sneak in.

"Yeah, of course. The door's unlocked so you can just come in," he responds, his voice laced with concern. You put down the walkie-talkie and make your way to his apartment, careful not to wake your sleeping family members. Soon, you reach the apartment and walk in, the familiar atmosphere welcoming you. Walking towards Sal's room you pass by the sleeping cat on the worn couch.

You reach his closed door and knock lightly. Almost immediately, the door swings open, revealing your blue-haired friend. He's about the same height as you and is wearing his white and pink prosthetic along with loose pajamas. His hair is down which surprises you. It's rare to see him without his signature pigtails.

"Hey," you say softly.

"Hey, are you alright?" he questions. He leads you into his room and you sit on his bed. Sighing deeply, you look up at him and shake your head. Sal sits beside you and takes your hand. "Well, if you wanna talk about it I'll listen and if there's anything you need I'll gladly get it for you."

You give him a small smile. "Thank you, Sally." He smiles back, even though you can't see it. He then looks down at your hand and notices the stains on your sleeve.

"Y/N, what's that?" he asks, voice wavering. You quickly pull your hand away and look at the marks.

"Shit," you say breathlessly. "'m sorry, I didn't mean for you to see that." You avoid his gaze and look to the floor.

"It's okay, not your fault. Can I…see them?" Your breath hitches and your eyes widen.

"Are you sure?" he nods. "okay," you breathe out. You move your arm over to him and he gently takes it. Sal moves his fingers along your sleeve and slides it up, revealing the marks. Seeing them, he breathes in sharply. He runs his thumb along the new and old cuts, making you flinch.

"S-sorry..I didn't mean to hurt you," he whispers.

"I know, it's okay," you say just as quietly.

"You should let me clean these. I don't want them to get infected or anything," Sal says sweetly. He stands up and offers his hand to you to take.

"Oh Sal, you don't have to do that…"

"But I want to," he says, reassuring you. You would've kissed him right then and there if you could've.

You stand up and follow him to the bathroom. He sits you down on the edge of the bathtub and gets a wet cloth for your wounds. You decide to take your sweatshirt off since you're wearing a tank top underneath. Sal comes back with the cloth and sits beside you. He tries to avoid looking at your newly exposed skin, a slight blush creeping up his face. You put your arm out for him and he takes it.

"I'll try not to hurt you," he says, putting the wet cloth on your arm and applying pressure to stop any bleeding. He then gently wipes away the dried blood. You watch him, tears coming to the corners of your eyes. Of course, Sal notices. "Am I hurting you?" he asks, stopping.

"No, it's not because of you, Sally." You put a reassuring hand on his and smile softly.

"Okay, let me know if I am, alright?" You nod and he finishes cleaning you. "Is it just this or are there others?" You look to your clothed thigh where old scars would be.

"Just this I think." You notice dried blood from your arm on the bottoms. "Damn it, the blood got on my pants," you say under your breath.

"Do you need new ones? I think I have some that'll fit you." Sal stands and heads for the door.

"Oh, yeah. Thank you." He soon returns with new pajama bottoms for you. You accept them, your hand brushing against his. You feel your face heat up and quickly turn away to change. Sal also turns to give you some privacy. You take your pants off and begin to put the new ones on, your fingers brushing across the old marks on your thigh.

"I'm done," you say as you turn back around. He also turns and walks toward you.

"You feeling better now?" he asks, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm feeling much better. Thank you, Sal." I wrap him in a hug which he reciprocates. You bury your head in his neck and feel how warm he is. You reluctantly pull away, not wanting to make it weird. "It's late. I don't wanna keep you up so I should head back."

"Oh, I was gonna ask if you wanted to stay over. But, yeah, if you don't want to that's totally fine," Sal says, fidgeting with his hands.

"You wouldn't mind me staying over?" Truth is, you didn't want to go home. You did want to stay with Sal but you didn't know if he felt the same.

"Course not, I care about you and don't want you to be alone in a vulnerable state," he says, taking your hand. You stare into each other's eyes, yours quickly flicking to his prosthetic lips. He sees this and goes bright red.

Sal turns and leads the two of you back to his room. You both sit back on his bed awkwardly. He takes your arm again and runs his fingers over your scars. Your heart beats faster. Bringing your hand to cup his face, you place a quick kiss on his faux lips. When he doesn't say anything, you quickly apologize.

"Shit, I'm sorry, I thought..Never mind, just forget I did that, please," you say, not facing him.

"Don't be sorry. I..I liked it," he says shyly. You turn and look at him. You want to kiss him again and he seems to feel the same. Sal leans in and places his prosthetic lips against yours. You pull away after a few seconds.

"Sally, I wanna kiss you for real," you say breathlessly.

"Really?" You nod. Too scared to do it himself, Sal brings your hand to the back of his head to remove the mask. You undo the latches and slowly take it off, revealing his scarred face. After setting the mask down, you place a hand on his cheek, gently tracing and admiring his scars. Tears start to well up in his eyes.

"What's wrong? Did I do something?" you ask worriedly. He shakes his head.

"No, you're perfect, you did nothing wrong. It's just…no one's ever reacted like that to seeing my face. Everyone's always disgusted or scared," he responds softly. You look at him lovingly.

"Oh Sal, I could never think that way about you. You're beautiful," you say, your thumb brushing over his lips. He immediately smashes his lips against yours, kissing you sloppily. You bring your hand to the back of his neck to deepen the kiss. He quietly moans into the kiss, allowing you to slip your tongue into his mouth. His hands move to your waist, laying you down so he's on top of you. Sal breaks the kiss and moves to your neck, kissing and biting his way down. He starts to slide his hand under your shirt then stops.

"Can I?" he asks sweetly. You quickly nod your head, giving him permission. Sal continues to move his hand up your torso and take off your shirt, revealing your breasts. You shiver as the air hits your bare chest. He admires the way your body looks, practically drooling over your tits.

"What, you never seen boobs before?" you joke. Sal's face goes red and he avoids your gaze. You giggle at his reaction and decide to do things yourself. You take his hands and move them to grasp your chest. He starts to move on his own, fondling your breasts and tweaking your nipples. You arch your back, leaning into his touch. Sal decides to take you into his mouth, swirling his tongue around your nipple.

Releasing you from his mouth, he takes your arm into his gentle hands and kisses the palm of your hand, moving down your wrist and scars. He takes care to kiss each scar on your arm, appreciating every part of you. You just watch in amazement, eyes full of love.

He then moves to kiss down the rest of your torso, soon reaching your waist. Sal starts to pull the bottoms down and you lift your hips to help him. As he pulls them down, his fingers brush against the scar tissue on your thigh. He leans his head down and kisses all around your thighs, doing the same as he did with your wrist. Sal lightly tugs on your panties, his fingers achingly close to your core.

Instead of waiting for him, you begin to take your panties off, revealing your wet cunt. Sal's heart hammers in his chest, not knowing what to do. You guide his fingers to where you need him, silently instructing him on what to do.

Sal dips his middle and ring fingers into your aching cunt, slowly moving them inside of you.

"Just like that, Sal. So good baby," you moan breathlessly. He continues to move his fingers inside your gummy walls, finding your most sensitive spot. Sal leans down and begins to lick around your already swollen clit. You buck your hips from how good you feel. At that, Sal fully takes your clit into his mouth, sucking on it harshly. You felt your orgasm quickly approaching, letting out groans of pleasure.

"Sally?" He stops as he hears his name called.

"Yeah?" You sit up and kiss him gently. You lay him down in your previous spot and straddle his hips. You could feel how hard he was for you through his pants.

"Take your shirt off for me, baby," you say softly. He hurriedly takes his shirt off while you work on removing his pants and boxers. Finally rid of his clothes, you have a chance to sit back and admire how pretty he is. You lean in and kiss him passionately, running your hands down his chest towards his erection. "You're so pretty, Sal. I want you so bad," you say, fingers wrapping around his cock.

"Oh my god," he says quietly, tilting his head back. You start to jerk him off slowly, gathering his dripping precum. Once you think he's ready, you position his cock toward your entrance.

"You ready?" you ask.

"Y-yes, please.." he whispers, whining lightly. You grin and kiss him, sliding down slowly. Moaning into the kiss, he wraps his hands around your waist. You begin to move, rocking your hips against his.

You move together, creating a satisfying and fast-paced rhythm. Arching your back, you groaned into his mouth.

"F-fuck, Y/N, 'm so close," he whimpered. You could feel yourself getting close too.

"It's okay, Sal. Me too," you moaned.

"Please, Y/N, I wanna finish in you."

"You wanna cum in my pussy, Sally?" you cock your head teasingly. His face somehow gets redder and he whines, tossing his head back.

"Please, I-I-" he cuts himself off with a deep moan, cumming inside you. You toss your head back, riding him faster. Sal finishes and starts to get overstimulated when you keep going.

"Y/N I-I can't.." he whimpers.

"I'm so close baby. Can you go just a little longer?" you whispered. He moaned and nods his head, his cock still hard. You bring his hand down to rub your clit. This makes you throw your head back. You finally came, letting out a deep whine. The feeling of your pussy clenching around him makes him whimper, cumming for a second time.

You ride out your high, finally coming to a stop. You look down at his pretty face and kiss him. Laying down beside him, you pepper his smiling face with kisses. He wraps his arms around you and buries his face in your chest.

"I love you, Sal," you say.

"You do?"

"Mhm, so much."

"I love you too." You spend the rest of the night together in each other's arms.

[spinningspencer]

a/n: I had an awful day today and needed some comfort, so I decided to write some hurt/comfort headcanons with my comfort character Spencer Reid.

cw: Self-harm (mentioned)(It's the 4th one if you want to skip it, stay safe ♡), just generally having a bad day

☆Spencer Reid, who immediately knows that something is wrong, not only because he's a profiler but also because he just knows you so well.

☆Spencer Reid, who wraps you in a tight embrace, letting you hide from the world in his arms.

☆Spencer Reid, who is always ready to listen to you complain about what's making you feel bad.

☆Spencer Reid, who doesn't judge you if he sees new self-inflicted wounds, the only thing he asks is: "Come to me next time you feel like this, please?" looking at you with his big brown puppy eyes.

☆Spencer Reid, who rambles about the benefits of oxytocin (the hug hormone) while you two lay cuddled up on the couch, knowing his voice helps you calm down and find yourself again in that hectic mind of yours.

☆Spencer Reid, who strokes your hair while you lay on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

[veren-cos]

You Will Be Okay

Astarion (Bg3) x reader

TW: Mentions of Self Harm. Do not read this if this will trigger you or make you uncomfortable. If you struggle with self-harm or suicidal thoughts, I strongly recommend you reach out to someone.

Over 1000 words. Probably. I don't know how to get a word count in my notes app 😭

Not proof read

"I think I hate myself." It slipped out. Fuck. It slipped out, you didn't mean to say that. Not right now. Not when everything was going so well?

Astarion stood there, tensed up. "What?" His face was flickering between concern, and confusion, and... whatever else that was.

You weren't going to repeat it. You couldn't. You were already panicking from saying it once, you couldn't imagine saying it again. Much less having a conversation about this. "I need to go." You said, too loud for talking, but too quiet to be considered a yell.

"OH no you don't" He grabbed you by the wrist as you were turning out the door. "We need to talk about this."

"I can't. No... No. No no no no nonono I can't—I can't do this. I can't do this astarion not today not toda-" You were pulling away, but that only tightened his grip. He pulled you into a hug. And although it was a loose one, it still made you feel trapped.

"Okay. Compromise. You've shown me how important those are." You looked at him, still panicked, but you were willing to hear him out. "You can go. But!"

Of course there was a but.

"only if I come with you. And!"

Another condition?

"Only if we talk about it when we come back. We don't have to talk at all while we are out. I'd prefer it, but it isn't a necessity. I just need you to not be alone. Either way, someone needs to be with you. Whether it's me, or say... one of our other companions? If you don't want this to linger in the air? I'm sure anyone of them would be happy to accompany you for an outing."

He was being. Suprisingly considerate about this. Accommodating. But now was not the time. You needed out, now.

You pulled out of the hug, fast. Not that it wasn't appreciated, but it was starting to feel more suffocating. "Alright. Alright. Okay. Yes. Fine. Good. Great. Awesome!" You felt a touch on your hand again. "Okay. Hoooo" you let out a breath. Then took a few more deep ones. "I'll take Gale. Is that okay? I mean you can come too but I really, really don't want to talk about this and if you're there I know I'll want to and I really can't." Your words were getting faster the more that came out. You took another breath, "But I will when we get back. Okay?"

"Okay. Be safe, I'll be around. I love you" Astarion sqeezed your hand tight, and then let go. He followed you and Gale out of camp, grateful (for once) that you and him were close.

Once Astarion saw you and Gale off, he made his way back his tent. Considering you weren't feeling the best, he knew he had roughly an hour to prepare.

You hated yourself? Blasphemy. Well... not blasphemy. He had seen you, the faint scars in the most random of places. Places that would be too well protected to be done by an enemy. The scars and cuts—just deep enough to have been recent, the constant torn skin around your fingertips. So he supposed he should have already known, but he didnt know you still felt this way.

He had plenty of experience hating himself, but he didn't dwell on it like you did. He swallowed his hatred and turned to bad habits - habits you were helping him fix. Now it was his turn to help you.

He had begun by cleaning. It wasn't necessarily messy, but he had seen your belongings and how they had gotten out of order. Once everything was in its proper place, he started to plan how to tackle this.

It wasn't something to be taken lightly, and it wasn't something that would be solved in a day. This conversation was a start, but it certainly wouldn't be the end. What did he bring up? How much could you handle? Did he mention that he had his suspicions, or did he leave that alone? Gods, this was hard. You've seemed so put together on your journey that he thought this was resolved a long time ago. When was the last time you'd hurt yourself?

Nothing much got accomplished in that hour, not that he could without you there. And before he knew it, you were home.

You sat down on a cushion, not having the luxury of a chair at the moment, and looked into Astarion's eyes. You knew you had to be the one to start this conversation. You knew it, but that doesn't mean you had to like it.

"Thank you," Astarion raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "for giving me space."

He gave a light smile, "of course. You have done the same for me countless times, and I know how hard these things can be. I will never pressure you into an immediate conversation. But, my dear, we need to talk about this. You can't be hating yourself. You are wonderful. I know some simple words of praise won't wash this away, but I need you to know that you are good."

Astarion came to sit next to you, close enough where you could feel his presence, but not be overwhelmed.

Feelings were bubbling up. Everything was coming up. You could feel tears start to stream down your face, falling whenever your breath shook your entire body with force. "I just hate everything. I hate myself. So much. Astarion, you don't know what things were like for me before. I was pitiful. You wouldn't have even spared me a thought."

You inturupted yourself with near hysterical sobbing. The thought of not being with him was too much to bear with all your emotions. "Go on. It's safe. You are safe here" He placed his hand atop yours and gave it a squeeze, like earlier.

"I. Uhm. I used cut myself. A lot. I know you've seen the reminents of it. I just." You took a minute to catch your breath before continuing. "I just couldn't tell you. Because there wasn't even a good reason for it."

"I didn't like the way I felt. I didn't like the way I looked. The way I acted? I felt like such a burden to everyone. And now I'm such a burden to you? And I know you'll just say that I'm not, but I should have been able to resolve this on my own. If I'd had my way, you would have never found out and thought my scars were from some brave battle. It wasn't a brave battle. It was self loathing."

You took another crying break. How long was this going to go on? How much of your guts would you spill before you broke?

"And I still think of it. All the time. I still hate myself. I still feel the urge to destroy myself in the only way I know how. But I can't afford to. I'm trying so hard to stay put together for everyone here. I want you all to live. But I really don't want that for myself."

Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit shit, shit! Well now he knows everything. No turning back. Not that there was before, but your in too deep to even try and bury this.

He was sitting in front of you. You saw he was taking in everything you were saying at lighting speed, but you couldn't tell what he was thinking. He just kept rubbing circles into your palm, and handing you tissues at the appropriate moments.

You paused a bit too long for it to be considered normal in a conversation, so he urged you to continue. "Darling, I won't judge. It's okay, you can keep going."

You once again took some deep breaths. "I uhm... I tried to kill myself a while back? It didn't work, clearly, but the thought of it never truly went away. I uhm.

...

I still.. want to? And it's not that I'm unhappy, don't get me wrong! Every moment of joy has been genuine. But it's all being muffled by a blanket of sorrow and despair? That is dramatic oh hells. But yeah. I think uh. I think it's all out now?"

You sighed, both scared and relieved. You didn't want him to think that you didn't love him just because you didn't want to be here. You loved him so much it was probably one of the few things keeping you. Not that you would tell him. That is too much of a burden to put on one person.

So this is what you've been thinking. It explained a lot. The seemingly random guilty looks, and the distance whenever he tried to get closer. He had stopped pursuing you as a form of protection and deceit a while ago, but he had always thought that was the reason for your distance.

Now it was his turn for the big breaths. "My love." He drawled out the endearment. "It's okay. You're okay. We will get through this. You will get through this. Can I hug you?"

You nodded before he grasped you tightly.

"I'm right here. And I will be with you every step. Every setback you have. You can fall back on me"

He stroked through your hair once again, holding you tight into his chest, "Thank you for telling me. Now, this will be something that comes up every once in a while, okay? I know it won't be a comfortable topic but check-ins are necessary. I need to know how you're doing, because," He paused just enough for dramatic flair, "Whatever would we do without our fearless leader!"

It had managed to calm your tears, if only a little. Just what he had hoped for. The smallest laugh that escaped your breath was music to his ears, even between the hics and gasps as you recovered your breath.

"I just want you to know that I'm trying. I'm trying so hard. The feeling comes and goes. And right now is just a time where I need to be around people more. I need more support. But I'll be okay. So if you'll still have me..?"

Ugh, Idiot! Why would you say that last bit. He would never-

"I would never leave you over this darling! What do you take me for? If anything, this is just an excuse for me to constantly drape my arms around you. Whisper into your ear..."

He stands up and struts behind you. Wrapping his arms around you, he whispers, "tell you how much I care. How much I love you." And you smiled. Hells, you let out a laugh.

"See aren't I just amazing? Can make your mood with just a few words. I love you." He smirked, letting out the last bit of tense breath against your neck as he set his head on your shoulder. "I love you," he whispered again.

"I love you too, Astarion"

That day, he didn't let you go once. He stayed right by your side. You went out of your tent for dinner, and found that while you napped, Astarion told Gale to make your favorite. You don't often get nights of calm, but despite the rocky start, today was good.

Things were said, and things were learned, but everything would be okay.

You will be okay.

Author's Note: Please, once again, if you struggle with self harm or suicidal thoughts, reach out to someone. Things do get better, I promise you. There are many help lines and local resources, a quick search on Google will pull them all up.

If there is a way I can better phrase the trigger warning, please let me know. No one had any suggestions on my last one, so I'm going to assume that it was okay.

[docile-dove]

Do NOT ignore me love.

TW: Kidnapping, Obsession, Yandere, Peeling his skin off just to be near you, Stalking, Threats of self harm and harm of others/ your pet. Bit of smut?

Reader is over 18 here.

“You Belong To Me” Male Yandere x Oblivious Reader | Modern day| Love sick

You never noticed him.

Even though he lived two floors above you in that old apartment building with peeling paint and flickering hallway lights. Even though you crossed paths in the elevator, sometimes at night when the city was a little too quiet, and your eyes were a little too tired. You always gave a small nod, sometimes a polite smile—never really looking.

But he saw everything.

He knew what time you left for work. He knew you stopped by the café on 8th Street and always ordered the same thing—iced coffee with extra milk, a bit of sugar. He memorized your routines like scripture. The way you shook your leg anxiously when you were stressed. How your keys jingled when you approached your door. How you talked to your cat like it was your roommate. That pathetic cat. He hated that stupid creature. How dare it act all cute, taking away all ur attention? It's going to get killed one day.

He studied you. You were now his religion. His God.

At first, it was harmless. Curiosity. Admiration. Then, it festered. Became hunger. Possession. Something dark and coiled in his chest that no amount of fantasizing could tame.

Your name tasted so sweet in his mouth. He whispered it to himself when no one was around. He scrolled through your social media late at night, zooming in on your smile, saving your selfies, reading your captions over and over. Rubbing himself of the very thought of you. Cumming all over his phone because of ur pictures.

You made a playlist once. Public, without thinking. He listened to it religiously, imagining you sitting beside him on the train, your head on his shoulder.

He was good at hiding it. Until he didn’t want to anymore.

It started small. You didn’t notice the camera hidden in your hallway light fixture. You didn’t see the second phone he used to watch you while you slept. You had no idea your phone was cloned. Your location always shared. He was always there—even when you were alone.

And then, the accidents started.

Your favorite café was suddenly closed—for weeks. The barista who flirted with you? Gone. Moved away. (Or maybe just went missing) Your male coworker, the one who joked a little too easily with you—fired. No reason given.

You were starting to feel...watched...?

You told your friend over the phone, laughing nervously: “Maybe I’m just being paranoid.”

He was listening. He smiled. Good. Stay oblivious, little dove.

But one night, you stayed out too late. Drinks with friends turned into karaoke. You had a reasonable excuse of staying out, you and your friends were celebrating about getting into a university. So... he waited. He waited for hours.

When you finally stumbled in at 2:43 a.m., you barely noticed the smell in your apartment. Faint cologne. Like someone had just left.

He was in your bedroom closet. Watching. Breathing. Barely restraining himself.

That was the last straw.

He couldn’t keep watching. Couldn’t bear the thought of you brushing past him in the elevator like he was nobody. Couldn’t stand you smiling at strangers who didn’t deserve you. You belonged to him.

So while you were drunk and vulnerable, he simply took you. <3

It was fast. Clean. You woke up in a room you didn’t recognize, wrists cuffed to a velvet-lined bed. The walls were soft white. Too quiet. Too clean. There were photos of you everywhere—candids from behind, close-ups of your lips, your hands. Ones you didn’t even know had been taken.

He stepped in like a shadow. Calm. Smiling.

“I’ve waited so long for this,” he whispered, kneeling beside the bed, stroking your hair like you were a pet. “You don’t have to pretend anymore. You don’t have to lie. I know you felt it too.”

Your voice was hoarse. “Who are you?!”

He blinked, hurt flashing in his eyes. “You really don’t know me?” A soft, bitter laugh. “You’ve seen me a hundred times and you still didnt fucking notice me?!” He grabbed onto your hair and pulled hard.

You screamed. You pulled. You begged.

He didn’t blink.

“You’ll understand soon. You just need time,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your temple gently, as if he didnt just hurt you. “I’ll make you love me. Even if I have to break every piece of you to fit me.” He leaned over your lips, almost grazing them. "If you dont comply..say goodbye to your dear cat. That pathetic piece of waste. And if you still dont listen, I'll stab myself right infront of you. Everything will be YOUR fault." He kisses your lips softly while you're frozen in shock and fear, then biting your lower lip hard until it bled. You try moving your head to your side to avoid him but he holds it roughly, licking the blood and kissing your bruised lip gently again. He gives your neck a slight squeeze, reminding(and warning) you that he could take that cute little life of yours away in an instant.

He gets up and exits the room, leaving you chained to the bed, humming your favorite song from the playlist. (Killing stalking reference 😝 he gonna break your ankles next)

The door locks with a soft click. The small camera in the corner of the room, looks straight at you and flickers red, indicating you're being watched.

[veren-cos]

Babe, Look at me!

Shane x gn!farmer Self Harm comfort

An extended version of the plot in my bullet point self harm comfort

TW! Mentions of current and past self harm. Kinda graphic but nothing too specific. If you are struggling with self harm or suicidal ideation, please reach out to someone. Weather that is a friend, family member, doctor, therapist, etc. I promise things get better. There are many helplines and free resources that are just a google away!

Oh fuck. Oh fuck Oh fuck oh fuckohfuck. Why did you do it?! Again! Again and again and again and again. It never seemed to stop. Every single time you thought it was the last, it just kept happening.

You woke up early, as per usual. But something just wasn't right. A feeling that wouldn't go away. Eating you from under your skin, consuming every thought and emotion until you did something to get it out.

So you rushed back inside. Panicking. Think dear yoba why in earth do you do this to yourself? Why can you never stay away. But then you find yourself in the bathroom. New cuts and scratches wherever you had access. And then,

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

Shane came in. Shane had seen everything. He saw what a mess you were. He saw. He saw he saw he saw he saw. You dropped what was in your hands. "Shane!"

Fuck, tears were building up. "Shane oh my god I'm so sorry."

You felt your knees getting wobbly. "I'm sorry"

They gave out. You were on the floor of your bathroom, absolutely sobbing, bleeding and blubbering out apologies to your boyfriend who just walked in.

"I'm so sorry Shane. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!"

---------------------------------------------

There's blood. They are bleeding?!! And they are on the floor. Oh my yoba they are on the floor crying. This is my fucking fault. Oh no.. Oh no nono I yelled at them. I yelled at them? What the fuck was I thinking! Why the fuck am I still just thinking they fucking need help!

I can't help them? What the fuck can I do? I can barely help myself!

..but they need me..

---------------------------------------------

You were still on the tile. Nothing was going right. Why the fuck did you do it. Hurting yourself doesn't solve anything. It doesn't help. It doesn't help! Why cant you stop. Please just let it stop.

You felt arms wrapping around you. God you forgot he was even there.

"It's okay." Shane squeezed you tighter. "It's okay. Babe I'm here for you. You're okay. You'll be okay. We are going to get you through this, alright? You've helped me up until now it's my fucking turn." He tried to sooth your panic, but you were spiraling.

How could you put this on him? You never meant for him to find out! You never meant for this to happen again! And now he knows, and -"Babe."- he is talking to you and -"hello?"- you can't hear him but you know he is speaking and-

He is suddenly in front of you, grabbing you by the shoulders. "Babe! Look at me!" You finally saw him. You could hear him. "Breath." He took a big breath in. Then let it out. "Come on, you have to breath. You need to calm down."

He guided you through a few breaths, but it was still taking so long. You kept trying to calm yourself down. Too unaware to notice that Shane had grabbed a wet towel and started cleaning the cuts. When you finally were grounded enough to notice, he had already wrapped the wounds.

"Shane.." You looked up at him. It was the first time you had really seen his face this whole time. He looked.... broken. You broke him. You broke the love of your life. It was all your fault.

He must have seen you start spacing out again, because he pulled you up off the floor, and into another hug.

"Baby.. you have to talk to me. I can't wake up seeing you having hurt yourself in the bathroom. You can't be hurting yourself. This isn't healthy. You need help. More help than I can give. But I can help you get the help you need. And I can listen. So talk to me. Please."

He looked like he was about to cry. But the wall already came crashing down, you might as well smash the rest of the pieces.

"Shane.. I'm so sorry." He gave you a look. "No. Okay. I'm sorry. Shit! I don't even know where to start. There hasn't even been anything to be upset with! Things have been going well! I have my farm. I have my friends. I have you!! But somehow things just.. they got overwhelming.

"They got overwhelming to the point I just broke. I fell into old habits. Ones I didn't think would come back. I just couldn't do it. Nothing feels right. I am happy! But then I feel guilty about being happy. And then I feel sad that I'm feeling guilty about being happy. And then I'm sad that I'm sad about being guilty that I'm happy? And then I'm spiraling into a series of emotions that make no sense and it's just too much. Everything is just too much!"

You took a shakey breath, continuing, "So now I'm here. And you're here too. You were never supposed to be here! I never wanted you to see this. You were never supposed to see this part of me. I'm supposed to be put together. And okay. And helpful. And perfect. But I'm not."

He hugged you tighter, then pulled back and looked you straight in the eyes. "You aren't perfect. You aren't put together. And yes, you're helpful, but sometimes you make a mess out of things! You fail. You're messy. You'll fail again, and make even more messes!"

It sounded like he was stringing together insults for you! What the fuck was Shane thinking? But then he continued..

"And that is okay." He made sure you were looking at him for that. "It's okay to not be perfect. It's okay to not be put together, to be a mess. You don't have to help anyone. It's okay it fail. You have all this pressure on yourself, and you don't need it. I fail all the time, and I'm a mess! I don't help anyone besides myself, and I am far from perfect. Hey. Maybe that's why we're perfect for each other?" You let out a scoff of a laugh and shoved his arm.

"Too soon? Okay." He chuckled and went on. "I don't know what the fuck.. how the fuck?" He sighed, "I don't know. I don't know how to help you. But I do know you'll get through this and I'm going to make sure I'm there for you. Now come on. Let's go to bed for a bit, I'm taking you to Harvey's once you get some more rest."

You didn't even protest about seeing Harvey. You knew you needed to, you couldn't do it alone. And you couldn't put all the pressure on Shane. He led you to bed, and just made sure you got comfortable. You wrapped your arms around him. And you cried. Not because you were sad, though you were sad. You cried because it was over. You weren't alone with it anymore. You cried because you knew you would be okay. Maybe not soon, but eventually. You would be okay. He hugged you tighter. He knew. Shane gave you a forehead kiss, and let you let everything out. For now, you could just lay in his arms and feel.

Please, again, reach out to someone if you struggle with self harm or suicidal ideation. It's extremely important, and I know it's hard. But things will get better.

An* I wrote this so late at night. And then i started almost crying when writing this because it was too emotional for tired me. And then I decided listening to Mitski when writing this would be a great idea. (Spoiler alert. It wasn't lmao)

An part 2* came back to this like the next day (2 days later??) And this is still very sad 🤠👍 I don't like making myself sad from my writing but I also can't stop. Send help/j

(Also ignore the random POV switch. Like read it, yes, but I know it was kinda short and random-)

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