#so less patrochilles which was a focus for my last au

[rowanisawriter]

wip whenever

iliad corporate lawyer AU

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“Okay, let us all work through this as a team.” Odysseus glances down at his hands and sees a spot or two of blood on the edge of his cuff. Goddamn it. “Can someone please share with the group just exactly what in the hell happened here?”

Achilles and Agamemnon start shouting at the same time.

“No!” Odysseus slams his fist down on the table again. “Not either of you. Patroclus.”

Patroclus pulls his gaze from the slowly growing pool of blood and spit on the floor at Agamemnon’s feet. His eyes refocus on Odysseus. “Yeah, okay. Um, Agamemnon decided to take the Trojans to court. Since negotiations have broken down and we aren’t getting anywhere trying to settle this. And Agamemnon said that he would be lead counsel. And Achilles said that he should be lead counsel since he’s done all the work setting up for the trial anyway, because he’s assumed from the beginning that this would go to trial—”

“You little bastards,” Agamemnon shouts. He lowers his destroyed suit jacket, his face and beard covered in blood. “Achilles has been wasting all our time preparing for a trial when we have been trying to settle this out of court the entire time. Maybe if he wasn’t so focused on outshining all of us in the courtroom, we would’ve made more headway trying to settle! Fuck!”

“You’re out of your mind, Agamemnon.” Achilles struggles against Diomedes’s grip again. The tails of his shirt have slipped out of his pants as he’s struggled. “The Trojans would never let us block this acquisition. Helen is as good as theirs. No amount of nice talk in a boardroom would ever work. You’ve been wasting all our time! The only shot we have is a trial, I’ve been saying this since day one.”

“Excuse me, is this firm called Atreus and Atreus, Esq. or is it called the Achilles-One-Man-Show? Can someone enlighten me?” Agamemnon glances around the room, his eyes stopping at each person, Nestor in his chair, Menelaus still standing outside the room looking through the glass door, Patroclus in the corner with his head in his hands, Antilochus with the wet wipe container clutched close to his chest. Finally, his eyes fall on Odysseus, sitting in his seat. “Maybe someone can check the name on the door? Or the names on the letterheads on all these goddamn papers? Well? Anyone?”

Odysseus looks at Achilles, who immediately resumes his struggle against Diomedes.

“Don’t fucking look at me! Go ahead and try to go to trial without me, you will regret it. The Trojans will acquire Helen and I’ll be laughing from the gallery the whole time. This trial means nothing to me. I don’t give a shit about any of this.”