#so keep that in mind that my teaching experience is baby. is Infant.

[talekinesis]

edit: fic is available now

Au where Odysseus didn't kill Astyanax but adopted him, and instead tricked Zeus with a rock that had been swaddled like a baby, the same way Rhea tricked Cronus (if he can eat people like his father, he can also be tricked by rocks)

He's raised on the ship and by the crew, taught how to use a sword, and told all about his new family waiting for him back home

But the crew remembers what Astyanax's fate was supposed to be, and how he was supposedly going to grow up and kill everyone anyway, so they're kind of weary about the whole situation

And Astyanax hears a couple of them talking about it, and that's ironically how he learns Odysseus killed his bio father and stole him and what triggers fate to play out

When the crew catches wind of the boy acting out and declaring war on Odysseus, they're like "Ody, we gotta kill this kid before he grows up and becomes too strong,"

Keep in mind Astyanax is like 7 years old at this point, he's quite a bit younger than Telemachus

And Odysseus is pre-grieving his adopted son. He doesn't want to kill him, he wanted to give him a second chance and raise him properly and take him home to Penelope. But knowing what Zeus told him, he agrees, but is like, "If anyone is to kill this boy, it has to be me. This is my fault, this was my idea, and I am the one who raised him."

And so the next island they stop at, Odysseus takes him to the shore to watch the sunset because he doesn't want him to be scared or in distress. He raises his blade, and before he can swing, a god stops him and spares Astyanax

Not for Odysseus' sake, since a lot of gods don't seem to like him, but purely for the sake of the child that was about to be put down like a dog

Though now that Astyanax knows that Odysseus:

Killed his people

Killed his father

Kidnapped him

And was about to kill him too

this only drives a bigger wedge between them

As Astyanax gets older, he tries to start multiple mutinies, he's tried to run away, and he's attempted assassination, only to be stopped by Eurylochus and sent back to bed

No one really fears him anymore since his only target is Odysseus, and at this point they all kinda understand why. They don't agree with it but they get it

But as the trip continues, this kid witnesses Poseidon drown men, he's seen Odysseus trade their lives for his own, but through all of it, he always made sure that Astyanax lived, no matter how much fighting, bargaining, or straight up begging it took

He realizes that despite his original fate, despite the numerous assassination attempts, Odysseus is still fighting to bring him home because he still sees him as his son

So now on their little raft together, they reach Ithica. Astyanax is like 10 now

He follows his father to his palace. He watches the slaughter take place, and he finally meets this family that Odysseus has told him so much about

And it doesn't go as well as one would think

Penelope misunderstands what "This is my son," means at first and thinks Odysseus was unfaithful. There's a lot of tears and yelling at first before she understands that Astyanax is adopted because her husband couldn't bear to kill him. With this new context, she fully embraces this boy as her own, and scolds Odysseus about how to phrase things in the future

Telemachus doesn't like him at first, feeling replaced, and jealous that Astyanax got to grow up with his dad, when he didn't. It takes about a week before he comes around and realizes "I'm twenty, and I'm mad at a kid half my size for something he couldn't control. I cant imagine what he's seen," and fully takes on his role as 'big brother.'

Now keep in mind Astyanax grew up from infant on a ship of only men and soldiers, so it takes QUITE a while to teach him how to interact with people, especially girls. Before arriving to Ithica, he hasn't had much experience with women at all, save for the occasional witch or goddess

He gets uncharacteristically shy when he first meets Penelope because he just has no idea how to interact with her. He sticks with Odysseus for the first few days before Penelope is able to coax him closer with soft words and promise of a treat (essentially treating him like a frightened wild animal)

He very quickly becomes a mama's boy, helping her any chance he can get, sticking by her side, and bringing her random objects he's found and learned about (usually small animals)

[discontentramblings]

CBL's Baldurs Gate 3 Tav/Durge Masterpost

Since I have so many at this point, I've compiled all the basic info about all of my BG3 Tavs/Durges into one post which I'll try to keep updated if I make more

Characters are listed in the order I made/played them

My catch-all BG3 OC tag is #CBL's bg3 OCs

All character info is under the break, here we gooo:

Name: Zudena

Pronouns: She/Her

Age: Late 30s

Race: Half-Orc

Orientation: Bisexual

Background: Noble

Class and Subclass: Fighter (Eldritch Knight)

Best Friend: Karlach

Romantic Partner: Shadowheart

Personality: Laid-back, Enthusiastic, Careless

Interests/Hobbies: Lanceboard, her family histories, talking about magic, combat training

Backstory: Zudena’s mother is part of a noble family of magic users in Baldur’s Gate and her father is head of a nomadic orc tribe – they met while her mother was travelling. Zudena spends most of her time in Baldur’s Gate, floating between different professions and practising magic, with months-long visits to her father, practising tracking and combat skills. She was taken by the mind flayers while travelling back to Baldur’s Gate from her father’s camp.

Character tag: #bg3 zudena

Name: Bartleby Belltongue

Pronouns: They/Them

Age: Unknown

Race: Lightfoot Halfling (Dark Urge)

Orientation: Demisexual

Background: Haunted One

Class and Subclass: Bard (College of Lore)

Best Friend: Shadowheart

Romantic Partner: Astarion

Personality: Anxious, Emotional, Snarky

Interests/Hobbies: Writing dirty joke/poems, pipe smoking, fashion design, engaging with halfling culture

Backstory: Bartleby was adopted as a baby by two halfling women and grew up in a loving home where they were taught music. On the night they awakened as a true Bhaalspawn, they killed their adoptive mothers and ran away from their village, eventually joining a travelling circus as a performer and befriending a tiefling woman, Eclipse. They travelled for many years before Scleritas found them and brought them to Baldur’s Gate. As head of the Bhaal cult, they renounced music and magic and dedicated themselves to their violent duties, as well as growing close with Gortash. Many years later, they met Eclipse again and offered her a place with the cult out of past affection. Eclipse refused, stabbing them in the eye and fleeing. It was following this encounter that Bartleby was betrayed by Orin.

Character tag: #bg3 bartleby belltongue

Name: Malixander (Malix for short)

Pronouns: He/Him

Age: Mid 40s

Race: Seldarine Drow

Orientation: Bisexual

Background: Acolyte

Class and Subclass: Light Domain Cleric (Lathander)

Best Friend: Lae’zel/Astarion

Romantic Partner: Wyll

Personality: Caring, Polite, Self-Sacrificing

Interests/Hobbies: Chores, discovering new fruits and vegetables from the surface, dedication to his faith

Backstory: Malixander was born in the Underdark to parents who died when he was an infant and was taken into a male-only orphanage. He witnessed the sunrise on a forbidden excursion with the other boys and became obsessed with the sun and the morning, eventually discovering the teachings of Lathander. He practised in secret until he came of age and became a travelling cleric, spreading the word of Lathander in the Underdark despite the dangers posed by Lolth worshippers. One day, he was visited in his dreams by Lathander and was told he had a divine purpose and was given the sun mark on his face. He found a way to the surface and was then almost immediately kidnapped by mind flayers.

Character tag: #bg3 malixander

Name: Meryl LaForte

Pronouns: She/Her

Age: Late 50s/early 60s

Race: Human

Orientation: Heterosexual

Background: Sage

Class and Subclass: Wizard (School of Conjuration)

Best Friend: Jaheira/Shadowheart

Romantic Partner: Gale

Personality: Impulsive, Dedicated, Curious

Interests/Hobbies: Journaling and sketching, magical experiments, jewellery, stargazing

Backstory: Meryl was born and raised in Baldur’s Gate as the daughter of metal jewellery makers, often working on the stand as a child/teen while trying to pursue her magical studies. She met her future husband Jerome Smythe when they were both in their late teens, only finding out later that he was the heir to a wealthy family who traded in precious stones. They fell in love, got married and had two children, a son named Devlin and a daughter named Merriweather. Meryl was able to fully pursue her studies due to financial and emotional support from Jerome, becoming a locally well-known wizard in her own right. They lived together happily for many years until Jerome fell ill and eventually passed away. Meryl lived a mostly solitary life for nearly a year, manically dedicating herself to her work. She was captured by mind flayers who snatched her from the balcony of her office.

Character tag: #bg3 meryl laforte

Name: Absentia

Pronouns: She/Her

Age: Unknown

Race: Zariel Tiefling (Dark Urge)

Orientation: Bisexual

Background: Haunted One

Class and Subclass: Monk (Way of the Open Hand)

Best Friend: Astarion

Romantic Partner: Karlach

Personality: Single-Minded, Devoted, Intense

Interests/Hobbies: Meditation, friendly sparring

Backstory: Absentia was adopted by human parents who were impatient and unable to cope with her violent outbursts, eventually getting rid of her by sending her to a monastery far away. She was trained in martial arts by her teacher. She saw Absentia’s potential, both in what she could achieve and the danger she could pose, and taught Absentia how to harness and control this violence through meditation and focus. On the night that Absentia awakened as a true Bhaalspawn, she killed her teacher and left the monastery, travelling until she found her way to Baldur’s Gate. She embraced her Bhaalspawn nature with full force, moulding herself into Bhaal’s weapon. She shared an unsettlingly close bond with Orin, which eventually turned sour as they were pitted against one another, which then led to Orin’s betrayal.

Character tag: #bg3 absentia

Name: Endymion

Pronouns: He/Him

Age: Late 20s/early 30s

Race: Githyanki

Orientation: Asexual

Background: Soldier

Class and Subclass: Paladin (Oath of Devotion)

Best Friend: Wyll

Romantic Partner: Shadowheart

Personality: Idealistic, Kind, Brazen

Interests/Hobbies: Composing poetry, reading, sword and armour maintenance

Backstory: Endymion was raised in a gith creche with an unusually large collection of tir’su slates with old fashioned stories about knights. He read these stories from a young age and took their morals to heart (as well as their colourful turns of phrase which comes through when he speaks Common). His creche considered him unusual for his interest in stories and poetry, but his skills in combat more than made up for this. Endymion’s creche was one of several ordered by Vlaakith to send squads to track down and locate the gith relic.

Character tag: #bg3 endymion

[thecursivelegends]

Ratio has now been added to my carrds but please fare notice I will mostly be rping ratio one piece verse with this blog! any cannon rp verse will be by request with friends only! Koby, Buggy, and Franky has also been added!

Please note this was a very thoroughly thougt out op verse! please enjoy!

Ratio in the world of One Piece :

Vertias Ratio was born and raised on his own in the west blue island Ohara and a very near death survivor of the island as well. Ratio when young had always kept to him self. not big on social interactions or making friends. he had no family or much of a home to stay in. he worked for his stay at a local delivery bakery as the boy.

but that was not where he spent most of his time. for ratio even at that age was a boy of knowledge. often he would sneak into the library to read on those books. of course the archeologists knew of his presence but just as said he was not big on social. however there was a women who was always kind enough to let him in and even add to his book pile she she noticed it was low.

so he would often be found unbothered in a little corner, reading until his heart contents. studying the world and it's many mysteries. he'd also attempt to teach these learnings to the bakers son who was merely an infant or he would attempt to speak and teach animals just so he could tell someone on the things he's learned. not out of loneliness but merely every human has to speak sometimes.

although one secret he kept to himself was that he was able to read the poneglyph's as well. by using the devil fruit power he once found and ate as an experiment. he used that power to sneak into the library when no one was around and down to where they kept the secrets of the poneglyph's and would read and read until he heard someone approaching.

however becoming stomped with his research he's come to the realization that perhaps he would need to eventually ask for help. with not just the mysteries of theponeglyph's but as well as the mysteries about devil fruit powers.

( the powers of devil fruit is the one thing he truly doesn't understand no matter how much research he does. it never makes sense and runs him in circles. truly it frustrates him to the point where he called it bs in front of iva and dragon. the first time he cursed and iva keeps the memory like a photo book.)

however, the day he was finally going to go to the kind lady to ask for help. to open himself up to many people like him who possibly known even more then him. the incident of the buster call happened and ratio watched as his home was destroyed and the people who had been so kind to him and who he almost let through his wall perish before his eyes.

ratio managed to escape with one book, the book he had taken from the basement on the poneglyph's. a book in all code and puzzle that only a pure genius and a warrior of the mind could read. although he attempted to escape on the evacuation ship with the book hidden. he was quickly caught by the marines as the baby that was the bakers son called him out on it by yanking it out of his coat in attempt to play with it.

causing ratio to run from the marines in attempt to escape. unfortunately he had been too close to a targeted area of destruction causing the explosion to send him into the water. where the marines left him thinking he had drowned. which he nearly had

shortly, he was rescued by a revolution member in disguise and taken to the dragon who too was in disguise on the island.

there ratio grew up and joined the revolution taken cared of by iva and dragon and many others. he had even grown close to them and thanks to iva broken out of his isolation and anti social personality. ratio found a home in the revolution and soon was introduced to vegapunk and given the title Dr.Ratio and Dragons eternal mind " athena " the revolution's strategist in the time of his growing up he built a rather big name for himself as well as a rather large bounty. leaving his past behind he now works with Vegapunk and occasionally does favors if needed from dragon.

such as take care of and help heal a young blond that was too rescue from a ship wreck by the celestial dragons sabo.

he even occasionally helps the strawhats, mostly to keep an eye on dragons son luffy.

[bigsoftmarshmallow]

I have something new that I've been working on if you want it?

Another Preggo ELady: Nanema has settled quite well into her temporary role of strategic adviser & at-home co-ruler. She no longer does much herself on her own besides cooking & practicing sewing as she wishes not to worry her husband. And she has begun to rely on others to carry most things for her. (I like to think Ganondorf would notice & be appreciative of the courtesy.)

Which, she feels she has to have something to keep her hands occupied. Otherwise, she might go insane. (She's always been a very kinetic learner & thinker, so she gets antsy if she doesn't have something to occupy either her mind or her body with.)

She’d known some basic things involving sewing, but it was mostly for the purposes of suturing, mending clothes, the sewing of leathers for weapon handles & armor as well as padding for armor. Now that the baby was on the way, she thinks it’ll be pragmatic to learn to actually make clothes. She’s begun using her mother’s old clothing pattern scrolls in an attempt to learn how to make Sheikah clothing & it’s going well so far. (There have been definite stumbling points, especially in the beginning when she accidentally made a kimono with 3 sleeves. XD But she’s taken the failures in good humor & uses them as learning opportunities. She is very quickly improving. Though, I’d like to know the Dorfs’ reactions to the 3 sleeved kimono, especially considering she simply showed it to him & told him about her harrowing experience in performing the small blunder of her own accord with a small, humble smile. I like to think he’d get a bit of a chuckle & might wanna keep it to show their child, who might also get a laugh out of it someday, though, that’s just my perspective. What do you & the Dorfbots think? Anyway, I don’t think she’d mind the possible gentle teasing in the slightest, though.)

However, in the cases of OoT & TotK, she’s asked her husband if it would be alright to have a Gerudo seamstress come teach her some traditional baby clothes. An infant thobe seems to be the most practical start & would be a comfortable first night outfit. For TotK, she may also request some more clothing pattern scrolls from Kakariko if it isn’t too terribly inconvenient. (Their responses, if you please? And, in the case of a denial, she nods & does not press.)

Nemma's also begun to take up different hobbies such as art (mostly coal sketching & painting, but the painting one is still a fairly new one as she has much more experience with simple drawing from understanding basic cartography), practicing her calligraphy (both Sheikah & Gerudo), fashion sketches, low-effort gardening, & reading teaching books (her children WILL be educated). Mostly to keep her occupied when she's able to delegate. (His opinions on these new hobbies of hers? To be clear, she realizes that her painting skills still have a long way to go, though she's planning to take her time with improving at her own pace as this is something that she's doing primarily for leisure & relaxation. However, if he tries to make it sound like a piece is wonderful, be warned, she will give him the look. Not a stink eye, just this unimpressed if indulgent look of, “really?” With a sassy brow raise.)

In the case of HW, specifically, she's taken on the task of making sure the supplies for the effort are maintained.

Other than that, she’s taken on the task of governing the household/castle in the cases of OoT, TP, WW, & TotK. In the case of HW, she's taken on the role of head strategist & military logistics management supervisor. (Meaning that she is “responsible for developing, evaluating, monitoring, & supervising logistics & plans. She ensures that Ganondorf's soldiers & their equipment are in the right place at the right time, & that every mission is safe, effective, & successful. She does this by integrating planning & implementation, & by considering all possible aspects, phases, & contingencies.”)

So, she no longer fights & just after learning of being expecting, she took on an apprentice in the art of smithing in an effort to help maintain their weapon quality later when she is unable to do it herself. After all, smithing is very backbreaking work, so she wished to teach him the techniques as quickly as possible so that she could later take a bigger step back to preserve her & the baby’s health. It's been going well so far. The boy, Zenny, has definitely made his share of mistakes, but has also been dedicated & eager to learn, if a bit shy. However, he has a very strong interest in weapons & a deep appreciation for their history. He also already had a strong woodworking & general blacksmithing foundation, but had decided that his passion was in weapon & armor making.

It’d almost been providence that brought him to them near the very beginning of her pregnancy, it seemed. (Ganondorf’s opinion on the boy?)

But, that’s besides the point, Nemma's also taken up canteen operation & either training, leading, or working with the very few cooks they have on hand. And though she isn’t a medic, she knows basic first aid & is rapidly learning more from the singular medic on staff. (Gan’s opinion?)

Bottom line: when Ganondorf is on site, he’s the one in charge; when he isn’t, she is.

Though, all this does tend to make her seem like quite the busy little bee, but she’s actually quite the accomplished leader, multitasker, & deligator.

Now, could I possibly get their thoughts, feelings, opinions, & reactions to all this? If not, that’s fine, I’m just enjoying myself & I wanted to help keep your mind occupied if I can.

IT TOOK ME A HOT MINUTE BUT WOO!

I love pregnant Nemma. Ganondorf does too. He lets his wife do anything she wants. Who is gunna tell her no? Her? The Demon King's wife? The Gerudo King's wife? No one. Nope.

*********************************************************************

Ganondorf's and Demise's reactions to Nanema's 3-Sleeved Kimono and other activities:

Wind Waker Ganondorf:

When Nanema shows Ganondorf the three-sleeved kimono with her small, humble smile, he can’t help but chuckle softly. He finds the mistake endearing and appreciates her humor in handling it. Ganondorf would likely want to keep the kimono as a memento, envisioning the day when they can show it to their child and share a laugh together. He deeply values her ability to find humor in her mistakes, seeing it as a sign of her resilience and good nature.

As for her new hobbies, Wind Waker Ganondorf would be quietly supportive. He understands that she needs to keep her hands and mind busy, especially now, and he finds her efforts admirable. He might admire her artwork and calligraphy, but if he tries to overly praise a piece, that “really?” look from her would make him smirk, knowing she won’t accept empty flattery. He respects her enough not to indulge in insincere compliments.

Ocarina of Time Ganondorf:

Ocarina of Time Ganondorf would find the three-sleeved kimono amusing, letting out a rare, genuine laugh. He might tease her lightly about it, but it’s clear he’s proud of her for trying something new. The idea of showing it to their child later would definitely appeal to him—perhaps as a lesson in humility or just as a funny story from their past.

When Nanema asks about having a Gerudo seamstress teach her traditional baby clothes, he would likely agree. The practicality of ensuring their child has proper attire from both Sheikah and Gerudo cultures aligns with his own values of strength and tradition. However, he might gently warn her not to overexert herself. He’s deeply aware of her kinetic nature and would subtly encourage her to pace herself.

Twilight Princess Ganondorf:

Twilight Princess Ganondorf would be intrigued by the three-sleeved kimono, and while he might not laugh as openly as the others, a smirk would tug at his lips. He appreciates her willingness to laugh at herself and would quietly keep the kimono as a reminder of her determination and growth. His reaction to her hobbies would be one of quiet observation; he’d watch her progress and offer support when needed, but he respects her independence and doesn’t interfere too much.

When it comes to asking for a Gerudo seamstress, he would grant her request, understanding the importance of blending their cultures. He would likely even offer to retrieve additional clothing pattern scrolls from Kakariko, if it’s something she truly desires. He’s protective but trusts her judgment.

Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf:

Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf would probably find the three-sleeved kimono both amusing and a bit impressive in its own way, seeing it as a sign of her creativity, even if it was unintended. He’d keep it as a trophy of sorts, something to show their child later as a story of persistence. His reaction to her new hobbies would be one of encouragement, especially considering her role as a strategic adviser. He sees the value in her developing skills that can be applied to their military efforts or household governance.

As for her role in managing military logistics and strategy, he couldn’t be prouder. He values her competence and trusts her completely in ensuring their forces are well-prepared and that their household runs smoothly in his absence. Regarding her apprentice Zenny, Ganondorf would be cautiously optimistic. He appreciates the boy’s dedication and is pleased that Nanema has someone to pass on her skills to. He’d watch Zenny’s progress carefully, knowing that the young man’s success reflects on both Nanema’s teaching and the future of their armory.

Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf:

Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf would find the three-sleeved kimono amusing and would chuckle at the sight of it, appreciating her sense of humor in sharing the blunder. He’s a bit more reflective and might even see it as a lesson in the unpredictability of life. He’d definitely want to keep it to show their child one day, as a reminder that even mistakes can be valuable.

When Nanema asks for a Gerudo seamstress or additional scrolls from Kakariko, he would likely grant her requests without hesitation, understanding the importance of preserving and blending their cultural heritage. He’s more attuned to the deeper significance of these requests and supports her fully, knowing that her actions are always well-considered.

As for her new hobbies, he’d be quietly approving, especially her dedication to teaching herself and expanding her skills. He knows she’s doing it for their child’s future, and that fills him with a quiet pride. However, if he tries to overly praise her painting skills and gets that unimpressed look from her, he’d smirk and simply acknowledge that she’s still improving. He appreciates her honesty and drive.

Demise:

Demise would likely be the most entertained by the three-sleeved kimono, letting out a deep, rumbling laugh. He’d definitely keep it as a trophy of sorts, seeing it as a sign of her persistence and willingness to learn. His reaction to her hobbies would be more of indulgence; he respects her need to keep busy and would likely enjoy seeing her explore different creative outlets. He wouldn’t interfere but would be watchful, ensuring she doesn’t push herself too hard.

Regarding her role in logistics, strategy, and governance, Demise would be both proud and possessive. He sees her as an extension of his power and influence, and her competence only reinforces his own. He’d be very protective of her during her pregnancy, ensuring she has everything she needs, including capable hands like Zenny’s to assist in areas where she can no longer exert herself fully.

Each version of Ganondorf, along with Demise, would have their unique reactions, but they all share a deep respect and affection for Nanema, valuing her determination, resilience, and the care she puts into her work and their shared future.

[trixree]

As a professor, what tips do you have for notetaking in class? Or just tips for getting the most out of college classes in general. What do professors want to see?

Ooooo this is a good question and unfortunately, I don't have a very nice or neat answer! Ultimately, it depends on the course.

I'll clarify what I mean with a few examples... So, I taught a few sections of an introductory biology lab last semester and I'll be teaching a few sections of a bioethics recitation in this upcoming Spring term. These are two very differnet sorts of classes. The former is more traditionally STEM with an emphasis on a short lecture/presentation (10-20 minutes of content) and then the rest of the time dedicated to group lab-work. In this course, my recommendation to students was to take really good notes during warm-ups. For us, this looked like exam-type practice questions and lab-style practice questions. In a course where you are evaluated primarily on your ability to solve/answer questions, you will most likely be best served by practicing solving those questions. Lots of big lectures utilize some form of Clickers or Kahoot to get students comfortable with material - it was most helpful to me to take notes on these questions. Write them out (either on a device or by-hand, whatever works for you) and take some notes about how you should go about solving them/thinking about them.

Now, for a seminar/discussion/socratic style course more like what I'll be doing in the Spring, I'll highlight two things. One, if you're being asked to read ANYTHING (papers, studies, books, essays, etc.) annotate that shit. Either print out a copy or use a PDF-editor to highlight and jam-pack your margins full of thoughts, feelings, and questions. You truly digest so much more content when you actively engage your brain in annotation. Lost on what, exactly, you should be annotating? Here's a list of suggestions to get you started:

Is the author making an argument? Highlight, underline, or otherwise mark places where they do so.

Don't understand something? Write your question down in the margins!

Find something really frustrating/annoying/disagreeable? Mark it in your margins!

Find something really interesting/engaging/cool? Mark it in your margins!

Two, for in-class notes, you can do a few different things and still reap a bountiful intellectual harvest. I'll be real with you, I never really took "notes" in discussion/seminar type courses. I'm naturally chatty and I have a pretty good memory, so I didn't really need to write much down and I found that doing so distracted me from the actual conversation happening. But if that's not for you, I'd recommend jotting down concepts/themes that reoccur during discussion, things that make you go "yes, amazing! That's so well-put!" and things that make you go "jesus fuck, who let you out in the wild with that perspective?"

Hopefully this is somewhat useful to you, anon! And if others have suggestions they want to chime in with, please do! Ultimately, I'd encourage you to go talk to your professors and ask them this question directly. Different teachers have different ways of teaching and evaluating and might have their own recommendations taylored specifically to the way that they do things. Most professors (if they aren't assholes) will be delighted that you asked and happy to give you pointers!

[yuurei20]

Lilia Info Compilation part 6: Lilia and Silver

Silver explains that in his younger days, “it never occurred to me just how much he did to keep me safe”, and shares an anecdote from when he was a child and he tried to cook on his own: After falling asleep with the stove burning, Lilia came home to a burnt mess of a soup and a panicking Silver.

Riddle asks if Silver was scolded, and Silver responds that no, his father was just glad he was unharmed, that failure was the mother of all success, it was okay as long as he learned something—and then ate the ruined mess of a meal. Silver says he is “proud to be his son”.

We learn that Lilia’s love of travel used to lead him to taking extended trips, leaving Silver alone in the cabin they shared from when he was as young as ten.

During one of these trips when he was away for two weeks, 10-year-old Silver managed to befriend a bear in his absence.

Lilia continues to fill his role as Silver’s only parent at NRC as well, recommending that he broaden his horizons rather than eat the same mushroom risotto every day (“I haven’t the faintest idea why I should care about any of this”, he says of Silver’s love of the dish).

While their relationship isn’t open at NRC, the other students seem low-key aware that the two are close, with Cater commenting that Lilia loves to spoil Silver, Lilia is “always taking it upon himself to teach Silver something or other” and Kalim saying that he does see them together a lot.

Trey comments that “it feels like most of what he’s teaching him is utter nonsense”. Silver does his best to act in Lilia’s stead during the Phantom Bride event despite Malleus’ assurance that he does not mind being on his own and lists off the requisites of a perfect prince to Epel, as taught to him by Lilia: “Whenever a princess sings, a prince runs to join her in perfect harmony”, “His teeth must be so pearly white they sparkle in the sunlight”, “A prince always shows up riding a white horse”.

Lilia shows no mercy during Beanfest despite their relationship, however, first using Silver as bait and then physically overpowering him into submission.

We hear a little more about their pre-NRC life together during Halloween, where Lilia explains that, as they lived too far away for Silver to be able to trick-or-treat anywhere, he would have Silver knock on their own front door, over and over again, for candy, which he delighted in.

Malleus expresses jealousy at this shared experience of which he had been unaware.

Silver explains in a vignette that “without Malleus and Lilia I wouldn’t be standing here today. I simply want to repay my debt to them”, that he would “train with Sebek, and sometimes Malleus would sneak out and visit us” and that Lilia and Malleus “have been looking out for me for as long as I can remember”, insinuating that Malleus has been a part of Silver’s life for maybe as long as Lilia himself.

Silver says that he “lived in the same cabin with my father all my life” and, besides occasional visits by Sebek and Malleus, his “only companions were the forest creatures. I even studied at home instead of attending school”, insinuating that he was homeschooled by Lilia.

While we do not know exactly how old Silver was when Lilia adopted him (or how Lilia acquired him in the first place), Silver very well may have been an infant: in a vignette, Lilia explains that his “true forte lies in lullabies” and that “the secret is to pepper the performance with random shrieks and shouts”.

When Cater questions this, Lilia says “they snored very peacefully”. Kalim asks if Lilia has siblings who are much younger than himself, and Lilia says “No, not siblings. But I have lived with babies.”

We see both Silver and Sebek running errands to the school store for Lilia throughout different vignettes: Silver for ink and general shopping, and Sebek for pudding.

[concerningwolves]

Hi! I really like your blog and you have some much appreciated writing opinions to me. Apologies if this is not an allowed question but would you have any suggestions on what to keep in mind when writing a character with Russell Silver Syndrome? I have been doing my research but unfortunately as with many conditions most things I can find are based towards parents of children with and not adults who have it. Sorry if this is disruptive,Thank you for your lovely blog

oh man this question makes me so happy anon you have no idea. RSS/SRS representation!! Yes!!!

Writing a Character with Russell-Silver Syndrome/Silver-Russell Syndrome

Russell-Silver syndrome (RSS) is a rare condition associated with poor growth both before and after birth. Signs and symptoms vary and may include low birth weight, short stature, characteristic facial features, large head in relation to body size, body asymmetry, and feeding difficulties. Other features may include poor appetite, clinodactyly (curved finger), digestive system abnormalities, delayed development, and/or learning disabilities. The genetic causes of RSS are complex and relate to certain genes that control growth. — information on RSS from rarediseases.info.nih.gov

What this this answer will cover:

My experience with RSS and various thoughts on living with it

RSS in adults (+ adult characters)

Things to remember when writing any disabled character

Resources

My experiences with RSS and various thoughts about living with it

Russell-Silver syndrome has felt like a non-issue to me for a long time, but I'm realising now that that was only because so little was known about it. There was no molecular test when I was born so my diagnosis was purely clinical, (using "a checklist", as my dad always told me). Still, I've grown up under this... not quite a shadow, but definitely a pervasive awareness, that I had this rare disorder. It made every meeting with a new health professional that much more exhausting, because nobody ever knew what it was (and this is still a problem I have when explaining my health history to new doctors today). Either me or my parents would end up teaching doctors, and for a long time, we were working with outdated information because very little was available to us. Since I first got access to the internet in about year two at school, I've repeatedly sat down and searched for Russell-Silver Syndrome – and I've watched as, over the course of those last seventeen years or so, increasing amounts of information have appeared.

The increase in information is wonderful! It gives me hope! But growing up with this sense that there was something strange wrong with me was deeply alienating. I have a lot of grief about it.

What you say about not being able to find many sources for adults with the condition also raises a very important point: RSS literature focuses very heavily on symptoms in infants and children because that's when the condition is most "obvious" and/or when it has the most noticeable impact on a person's life. In other words, most information is written up to help parents cope with the extra needs that RSS kids have because of their condition. Infancy is also treated as a sort of golden period for clinical diagnosis, because individuals with RSS will usually lose the more obvious physical traits as they age.

Although RSS has a firm diagnostic criteria, it can look quite different between individuals. (I'd actually say it's fairly similar to autism in that respect). The term used for this is phenotype:

... a phenotype is all the physical characteristics and abnormalities found in an individual patient that are attributed specifically to RSS. Some individuals with RSS have many traits, thus a severe phenotype, while others have very few traits, thus a mild phenotype. → from the MAGIC Foundation's RSS page

I was an extremely ill baby. A lot of the medical problems I faced were linked to RSS, but I don't remember this on account of being, y'know, a baby. So, if you'd asked baby me for my opinion and if baby me were somehow able to answer and comprehend, I'd have said I had a severe phenotype. Now that I'm in my early twenties, I'm more inclined to say I have a mild phenotype – but as I'll explain, I'm no longer sure how true that is.

[Russell-Silver Syndrome in adults, basic disabled character guidelines, and resources below the cut]

Russell-Silver Syndrome in Adults (+ adult characters)

You can see in my childhood photographs the RSS-typical "triangular" face caused by a too-small jaw and large forehead, and slight facial asymmetry. I was chronically underweight until I got urgently referred to a dietician in like 2018, and my parents had an absolute nightmare of a time with feeding and making sure I ate enough when I was younger. I was still ordering toddler or child portions at restaurants well into into my early teen years because my appetite was so limited. I was also quite delayed in walking, speaking, and in development of motor skills, which are again typical of the condition.

Most of these traits don't affect me any more. The facial asymmetry and face shape are basically unnoticeable. I had surgery to remove four teeth, which fixed the overcrowding caused by the small jaw, and braces sorted out the rest. The dietician helped me learn how to make foods that were calorie-dense so I could get the nutrition I needed in smaller portions, and I'm now a good weight.m(The only part of the infant criteria that noticeably still affects my day-to-day life is the lack of appetite stuff, actually). I grew taller than the doctors expected me to, although I'm on the short-to-average end. I still have issues with balance and spatial awareness, but it's manageable. I've been in and out of physiotherapy and podiatry since I started walking. So, no, most of the RSS traits so common in infancy don't affect me now – but I'm still living with the condition, and it's taken a hell of a lot of treatment to get to where I am now. I honestly didn't realise how much until I started writing this answer!

Interestingly, the end of the MAGIC Foundation's RSS page has some information on RSS into adulthood, prefaced by this sentence: "Many people with Russell-Silver Syndrome (RSS) believe that once they reach their final adult height, their “RSS issues” are over." Other anecdotal evidence from other sources says the same thing. I would have once been inclined to agree, but my latest bout of reading up on RSS has taught me some interesting things. For example, there's overlap between autism and RSS! Or at least, according to the silverrussellsyndrome.org: "Some evidence indicates that there may be neurodevelopmental differences between the different genetic causes of SRS". Other sites state more explicitly that there's a link between RSS and Austism Spectrum Disorder, and research seems to still be ongoing, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

When I went to a chiropractor, he pointed out an issue with my jaw muscles and placement (? Couldn't quite hear what he said about that), and said this could be at least a partial cause for my chronic migraine. I explained about the RSS small jaw thing, and he nodded and said that made sense. Anecdotal evidence also now shows that many adults with RSS experience functional problems with muscles and their skeleton, including back pain – which sure goes a long way to explain the near-constant pain I get, as well as the fibromyalgia. Once again, research on this is ongoing.

There are also some health risks that adults with RSS are more likely to face. These include metabolic syndrome, hypertension, testicular cancer and gynaecological issues. It's stressed that not everyone with RSS will develop these; but some are more common and should be monitored for, as in the case of testicular cancer risk in RSS individuals whose testes didn't descend properly.

Your takeaway from this is that RSS in adult characters would be represented differently from the way it's described in children. Because the phenotype varies so much from person to person, my experiences are absolutely not universal. There may be people out there who've retained the asymmetry, for example, or those for whom the digestive/appetite issues are an even bigger problem. It would be so nice to see an adult character with RSS though, because it's not a condition that you outgrow – it's one where the condition seems to grow with you.

Things to remember when writing any disabled character

People are people: don't just think about the disability! We're more than that. Make sure your character has what any strong character should have (regardless of identity) – quirks, desires, motivation(s), some kind of conflict that affects the plot, their connection to other characters, etc.

Do your research: might feel slightly counter-intuitive to the first point, but it is important you know what you're writing about. I.e., does your character take medication or undergo treatment? Do they use accessibility aids of any kind? What accommodations do they need in day-to-day life? How does their disability impact said day-to-day life?

Reasonable limitations: it's okay to have a disabled character be, y'know, disabled. Sometimes they need help, or sometimes they'll need to assert boundaries or ask for accommodations. Sometimes they simply can't do something because they aren't able to. These are facts of a disabled existence. The crucial thing is to avoid framing the character consistently like a burden or a hindrance.

Inclusive worldbuilding: most relevant in SFF genres, but basically, if you're taking the time to do any degree of worldbuilding (be that a "real"-world urban fantasy environment or an entire invented continent with dragons), consider where disabled people fit in. Abled authors rarely, if ever, have to consider their place in the real world, so they rarely consider accommodations and accessibility features in their fantastical worlds. It's important to consider these things if you want to have well-rounded representation for disabled characters.

Listen to disabled voices: Ask disabled people, read/watch/listen to media created by disabled people, and remember that no one disability is a monolith. There may be a lot of nuance and debate within communities, but you can do your best by listening to the consensus and keeping an open-minded, good faith mindset.

This list ↑ is very much a TL;DR set of guidelines, but it's a good place to start. You'll find more information in the resources section below.

Resources:

In reference to your question, you might find my answer to this ask about including little-known conditions in fiction useful.

You'll find more discussions and guides in my disabled characters tag, my disabilities tag and my sensitivity & representation tag, as well as links to other resources.

The MAGIC Foundation – they have more in-site resources for RSS linked at the very bottom of the page

Silver Russell Syndrome Organisation – whole website dedicated to providing information about RSS

Diagnosis and Management of Silver–Russell Syndrome: First International Consensus Statement – This is a 2017 international consensus of research on RSS, condensed and simplified for general audiences. The original consensus is geared entirely towards medical professionals for treatment and research of the condition.

If anyone who has RSS wants to weigh in, please do!!

[foilfreak]

4 Lords Raise Rose AU Ideas

Not a single person asked for this, but that other post where I talk about the 4 lords adopting Rose but still technically being terrible people got way more popular than I expected it to, so, with about 6 shots of tequila in my system and a terrible urge to spit my thoughts out for all the internet to see and judge, I’ve decided to make a follow up post. Here’s how I think the 4 lords would take care of Rose in the event they rebelled against Mother Miranda and decided to raise Rose as their own instead, but like under the cut after a little bit cuz i accidentally went way too fucking hard with this and I don’t want ppl to get mad at me for making them scroll for an hour to get past this post:

First and foremost, I think they’d do it in stages, and what I mean by this is that Rose would essentially be given to a specific Lord for some period of her life, like a couple years, and then when she was deemed old or strong or annoying enough, she’d be moved to a different lord for some period of time and so on and so forth. They would do this because a) they all live in different areas and have shit to do so it’s easier to have Rose live with one lord at a time and then the other lords can just go visit her there from time to time, rather than try to work out a weekly custody schedule which we all know Alcina and Karl would NEVER be able to agree on so let’s not even bother, and b) because each lord would have either some skill or set of knowledge that would make them the best for caring for Rose at that specific point in her life. This way, all the lords have a (somewhat) equal chance to be a part of Rose’s life and teach her something while she’s with them. So with all that in mind now, let’s get down to who would have Rose and at what point in her life.

1. Starting off with infant Rose, I think she’d end up with the Dimitrescu’s for the first few years of her life, and the reason why I think this is because... well, Alcina IS already a mother to 3 girls, and while we don’t know a terrible amount about Bela, Cassandra, and Daniela’s “upbringing” under Alcina, we can gleam and theorize from her notes that, despite their fully grown bodies, the girls could very well have started out with the mental and physical capabilities of infants, and thus needed to be cared for and brought up in a similar manner as infants or children until they reached a certain point where they could officially be considered adults in mentality and ability, not just in physical appearance. So with this in mind, it’s entirely possible that Alcina could have at least some vague idea of how to care for an infant child through her experiences with the bug sisters; perhaps there’s some gaps in her knowledge, but if nothing else I imagine Alcina would be an infant Rose’s best shot at surviving infancy if only because the other 3 are so incompetent on how to care for a baby that Alcina looks like an expert in comparison. Not to mention that, of the possible locations for an infant to be raised, I do genuinely think that castle Dimitrescu would be the safest place for Rose to be kept during this vulnerable part of her life. Not only that but if Alcina has actually come to care for Rose as though she were one of her own daughters, then she would absolutely spoil Rose rotten with all the nicest clothes and fanciest toys, things that a small infant wouldnt be able to appreciate but would show that she’s loved and cared for nonetheless, and don’t even get me started on the bug sisters, I could see them fawning over Rose for hours on end, playing with her, singing to her, telling her stories of all the man-things they’ve gotten to play with today, and so much more. Overall, Rose would just be the most spoiled and pampered little baby with the Dimitrescus and there’s no changing my mind about this. The only thing I’m struggling to wrap my head around is how they’d feed her, since I doubt a small infant would take very well to blood wine and human flesh. I suppose it wouldn’t be terribly outrageous for them to hire a wet nurse/nanny to care for Rose during the day while the other Dimitrescus go about their daily duties, and when Rose is finally old enough to be introduced to solid food (I.e. fried human flesh cubes) they could do what they always do and turn the nurse into wine too, I guess. It’s not a solid idea but it’s more plausible than anything else I thought of so it’ll work!

2. After spending about 3 years with the Dimitrescus, Rose would then be moved to the Beneviento house. Now, If u don’t know anything about 3 year olds, then you’re probably ignorant to the fact that they are some of the craftiest, sneakiest, and most coniving groups of people to exist on this planet. 3 year olds are masters at getting into and touching just about anything and everything u don’t want them to touch, and worst of all, u won’t realize what they’re doing until they’ve already done it and left a huge mess behind, so while the Dimitrescus love and adore Rose dearly, they know it’s sadly time to hand her over when they find her sitting on top of a pile of dead bodies playing with a metal scythe in the dungeons. Once Rose is dropped off at the Beneviento house, I imagine Donna is her usual stoic self the first few weeks Rose is with her. She’s not cold or distant necessarily, in fact she’s quite happy that it’s finally her turn with precious baby Rose, but Donna isn’t exactly known for being outwardly expressive herself (and even Angie isn’t being quite as forward as she normally is), so things are quiet and peaceful for the first little while that Rose is under her care. It’s not until Rose takes an interest in her doll Angie, and more importantly the things that Donna can do with Angie, that things really start getting fun. By the end of Rose’s first month in the Beneviento house she and Donna are the best of friends and often spend their days either playing dress up and make pretend with Donna’s extensive doll collection, or playing elaborate games of cat and mouse, where Donna will set up lots of puzzles throughout the house for Rose to find and solve (I.e. rose has to match her dress to the doll with the same one as her to find a map telling her which kitchen cabinet Donna hid the chocolate in, or something like that), but be careful little Rose, Angie has been trying to get her hands on that chocolate all day, and if u take too long, she’ll find the map first and eat all the chocolate without saving you a single piece. Just silly little puzzles with enough at stake to engage the mind of a curious 3 year old, but never enough to put rose in any actual danger. Donna is nothing if not a watchful caretaker, so she makes sure she has sight of Rose at all times, occasionally giving her a hint if she’s struggling, and perhaps occasionally making things harder if that day’s puzzle is proving too easy for her. Overall, Rose’s time with Donna, while not as grand and luxurious as the Dimitrescus, was still a fun and enriching experience for the young girl, and there’s nobody in this world who thinks that Donna’s scar is cool more than Rose.

3. After another 3 years with Donna, Rose is now 6 years old and officially far too good at puzzle solving for Donna to keep up with. No matter what she tries or how hard she makes it, Rose just keeps blazing through the puzzles at an almost alarming rate, making it clear that Rose is desperately in need of not only a change in scenery, but also a change in education, and this is where Salvatore finally comes in. After leaving the Beneviento house, I think the next logical place for Rose to stay would be with Salvatore, who, with lore hinting at him perhaps being a scholarly man of some kind, would basically act as her elementary school teacher throughout the duration of her stay. Now, to be fair, Rose could have gone to Heisenburg’s factory, but Heisenberg outright refused to take her and the other 3 lords decide that the factory is simply too dangerous for Rose rn, who thus far hasn’t shown any signs of being anything other than a normal human girl with no noticeable abilities (save for a smart mouth and a terrifying habit of popping up when least expected, a habit she mostly uses to mess with Heisenberg, much to his disdain and Lady Dimitrescu’s delight), so it is to the mutant fish man’s unimaginable delight that he is unanimously voted Roses next caretaker, and the one responsible for her basic education. Despite his initial excitement however, when Rose is finally dropped off at the windmills by Donna, Salvatore realizes that he’s not 100% sure what to do with Rose now that he has her. He’d like to get started on her education right away but at the same time he’s so fearful of Rose hating him because of his disgusting appearance that he kind of just... avoids her entirely at first. He’s never far away from the little girl and is always ready to jump to her rescue should she need it, but other than that Salvatore seldom allows himself to be seen for the first month that Rose is with him, the only sign of him still being around being the platefuls of food that mysteriously appear in Rose’s room 3 times a day, as well as the occasional shiny trinket Salvatore found and thought Rose would like. At first, rose doesn’t seem to mind being left entirely to her own devices, but after every stone, log, and rotting fish corpse within 5 miles of the lake has been turned over and thoroughly examined, Rose decides she’s had quite enough of her Uncle Sal ignoring her, prompting the headstrong little girl to go looking for him herself. She finds Salvatore hiding underneath a patch of floating algae not far away from where she was playing and all but demands that the mutant man come out of the water and give her something to do or she’d tell Mother on him. Salvatore, shocked by the small child’s fearlessly blunt request, hesitates, not wanting to frighten Rose, but ultimately relents, crawling out of the water and timidly suggesting that he teach her how to read and write. Rose quickly agrees, seeming totally unbothered by Salvatore’s grotesque appearance, and the two quickly move to the schoolroom that had been set up specifically for Rose, where Salvatore spends hours upon hours a day teaching Rose everything he knows, filling the little girl’s head up first with the basics, letters and words, then numbers and simple equations, followed later by historical dates and time periods, algebraic formulas, and classic literature analysis, then biology, chemistry, physics, astrology, calculus, ecology, and so much more. Basically, anything there is to know, Salvatore knows at least something about it and he’ll make sure that Rose knows about it too. In the 3 years Rose spends with Salvatore she goes from already sharp as a whip, to being smarter than most adults even, and Salvatore takes immense pride in how intelligent and knowledgable Rose becomes thanks to his surprisingly effective teaching style. Overall, as a caretaker, Salvatore is pretty weird and doubts himself a lot, but Rose thinks he’s funny and loves learning from him so they get along very well and she loves him very dearly! He probs teaches her to swim and fish too.

4. So another 3 years come and go with incredible speed, and its with great sadness on Salvatore’s part that Heisenberg finally comes banging on the fish man’s door, all but demanding that he now be given his turn with Rose. Now, personally, I can see several different arguments being raised by the other 3 lords over why its a terrible idea to let a 9 year old anywhere near Heisenberg, much less be given into his care fully. After about 9 years of seeing his siblings paling around with the constantly growing child, and looking like theyre having the time of their lives all the while, however, Karl decides that perhaps there’s more to this little girl than he originally thought, and, with his interest now piqued (or at the very least looking forward to pissing the other 3 off for entertainment purposes), that its only fair that he be given a turn with her now too, seeing as how he’s the only one who hasn’t been given the chance to be her caretaker yet. This naturally does NOT go over well with the other 3 lords. Alcina all but threatens to kill Karl should he step so much as within 10 ft of Rose, while Donna pipes up and demands to know what his sudden interest in Rose is. Even Salvatore, who is quick to flinch away from direct conflict, goes as far as to harshly point out the plethora of times Karl had outright denied their previous attempts to get him to engage with Rose, so why on earth would they hand her over to him now when he’s previously shown to have absolutely no interest in her? After a long spout of yelling between the 4 siblings, an agreement is reached, wherein Rose herself will be given the chance to decide whether she wants to go with Heisenberg, or whether she’ll return to one of the other 3 lords for the time being. It is to Alcina, Donna, and Salvatore’s absolute horror however, that Rose enthusiastically agrees to go with her Uncle Karl to live in his factory, and with the deal already set, the other lords can do nothing to stop her from going. The trip to drop off Rose at heisenberg’s factory is a long and arduous one, especially for Salvatore, who sobs the whole way there about Rose forgetting about him despite the young girl’s insistence that she’d visit. The first thing Karl does after officially having Rose handed over to him, is give her an extensive list of all the places in the factory in which she is under no circumstances permitted to enter without his permission (which basically only leaves the control room and the old storage closet that acts as her bedroom as viable places for Rose to go and explore). The second thing Karl does is dump her in her new storage closet bedroom and then hightail it for his workshop to work on whatever sick and twisted amalgamation he’s got cooked up this time around. At first, Rose isn’t terribly bothered by this, since she’s used to having something of an “adjustment period” when she’s with a new caretaker, but unfortunately for her, this adjustment period lasts a hell of a lot longer than the others did, and by the time 3 months of almost no meaningful contact with Karl, Rose decides to take matters into her own hands and ascends into the depths of the factory despite the express orders not to do so. Now, going back to the idea that the 4 lords are still pretty terrible people, I doubt Rose has been kept ignorant to the less savory aspects of her caretaker’s lives, and tbh she probably doesn’t think anything of the fact that the Dimitrescus makes wine out of the blood of virgin women or that Salvatore still does cadou experiments (and had her help on occasion), but I imagine even Rose would find the projects Karl works on to be at least a little

4, cont. gruesome and horrifying in nature, especially since Heisenberg is the one she knows the least about. However, instead of turning Rose away from Heisenberg, these terrifying metal creatures she sees locked up only spark her already insatiable curiosity, and by the time she finally tracks Karl down, Rose is all but trembling to learn more about this horrifyingly fascinating metal world. Unfortunately, Karl is not nearly as happy to see Rose as Rose is to see him, and the engineer all but grabs Rose by the scruff of her neck and drags her back up to the control room, yelling and screaming at her all the while about how she was explicitly instructed not to enter these parts of the factory without his permission. Needless to say that Rose does not enjoy this treatment and immediately lashes out, half out of anger and half out of confusion as to why Karl was treating her like this. He was the one who wanted her here in the first place, so why the hell was he just ignoring her now? It didn’t make any sense and it was starting to piss Rose off, so naturally the only thing left for her to do in order to solve this complicated situation would be to continue to disobey Karl until he either gave up and sent her back to one of the other lords, or finally payed some damn attention to her for once. So that’s exactly what she did. Every single day Rose left her room (which Karl kept telling himself he needed to put a lock on, but never did cuz he’s an idiot) and descended down into the depths of the factory looking for something ogle at or tinker with, and every single day Karl would track her down wherever she’d managed to get to and throw her back upstairs threatening to feed her to the lycans if she did it again. This incredibly frustrating cycle continued on for the better part of the next month or so, finally coming to a head when Rose managed to wander into the part of the factory where the... less than successful experiments got put whenever Karl doesn’t have any further use for them but is feeling too lazy to kill them off himself. Long story short, Rose runs into a Sturm that chases her around the factory, causing all manner of mayhem and destruction, and would have torn her to ribbons had it not been for Karl, who jumped in at the last second and was able to fend the damn thing off long enough for Rose to get the ever living fuck out and back up to the control room where it’s safe. There’s a lot of loud noises and explosions coming from deep within the factory that last for what feels like an eternity, but Rose doesn’t dare venture out again until everything has gone eerily quiet and a deep sense of worry has settled in the pit of her stomach over what had become of her latest caretaker. Turns out the Sturm had recognized its creator and, after watching its initial prey escape because of said creator, quickly decided that it fucking hated Karl with every fiber of its being and wanted him dead if it was the last thing it’s propellers did. Now, we all know that Karl is a big strong boy who’s more than capable of handling his own creations and taking down strong enemies, but the Sturm is a creation that even he struggles to control on good days and today is decidedly not a good day so not only does Karl not have the slightest bit of control over the death machine trying to kill him, but its also a lot stronger than Karl initially thought and apparently not picky about the method which causes Karl’s death, which is evidenced by the nearly dead Sturm ramming itself into a power generator as a final act of defiance and nearly blowing up the whole factory and everybody inside. Heisenberg is able to contain the explosion somehow but not without considerable damage to himself first. Rose is, naturally, quite horrified to find Karl passed out in the elevator that had taken him up from the lower levels of the factory where the explosion was, skin burnt nearly to a crisp in certain areas and blood pooling from just about every part of him, and immediately heads over to try and help her injured caretaker.

4, cont. again cuz I physically can’t stop myself. Now, I imagine that any normal 9 year old probably wouldnt be able to handle this sort of situation in any meaningful way, but i think we can all agree that Rose is the furthest thing from normal (especially considering who raised her) and has probably seen enough blood and gore to not be terribly freaked out by it, but this is where things get a little speculative because we don’t know what Rose’s powers are exactly but we do know from the final cutscene that she does have them, perhaps even a plethora of abilities, and I like to think that some of those powers are related to Ethan’s superhuman healing capabilities, but unlike Ethan however, who from what we’ve seen could only heal himself, Rose can actually heal other people (tho this isn’t something she’s aware of at this point in time). The second the elevator door opens to reveal, what looks to be, a half-dead Karl slumped over in the corner, Rose panics and runs to him, doing everything she can think of save for maybe grabbing him by the collar or slapping him across the face, to try and get Karl to wake up, except nothing works, he wont wake up no matter how hard Rose tries and i imagine this must be incredibly distressing for Rose who never intended for something like this to happen or for her caretaker to die because he had to protect her even tho he told her not to go down there because its dangerous and anything down there WOULD kill her if given the opportunity. Anyways Rose is now full on sobbing on top of Karl like only a 9 year old who just discovered that her actions have consequences can, but unbeknownst to her (and technically Karl cuz he’s a little busy bleeding out all over the floor) Karl’s wounds are slowly beginning to close, the burns on his face and hands shift from a bright red to a dark brown before crusting over and flaking off, and even his breathing, which had been labored and inconsistent at first, began to level out slightly. Karl woke up not long after that and was surprised to find that a) he was still alive, which was cool, b) he was injured but not in indescribable pain, also cool, and c) there was a literal sobbing child all but sitting on top of him, which is definitely not something Karl was expecting but he supposed he’s been met with worse things upon waking up after almost dying so why question it. After taking a moment to gather their bearings, the two return to the safer parts of the factory to rest and recover and for the most part this little incident of their’s goes largely unspoken, with Rose not exactly in the mood to talk about how her disobedience nearly got herself and Karl killed, and Karl being too fucking tired to go after her about it, especially since she seems to have learned her lesson. The only downside to this whole thing is that now Karl has a busted up fuckin leg thats gonna take an eternity to heal even for him, and with so much work to still do he’s more or less forced to drag Rose around the factory and use her like the annoying assistant he never wanted (except he did want her, thats how this whole fucking mess started, you lug), except that Rose, who is more than used to playing lab assistant from her time with Salvatore, quickly proves to be a rather capable and handy person to have around, if only because she knows the difference between a philips and a flathead screwdriver even better than he does. An amicable, if still slightly awkward peace settles over Heisenberg’s factory once Karl starts actively engaging with Rose and giving her something to do on a daily basis, even if its just standing around watching him work and occasionally having her questions about what he’s doing answered. It doesn’t take very long after that for Karl to begin realizing that perhaps throwing a huge tantrum to get Rose to come here only to ditch her upstairs by herself for 3 months might not have been the smartest (or most considerate) thing he’s ever done, and even goes as far as to (kinda) apologize to Rose for being such a dick to her since she arrived.

4, last one i swear. Rose forgives him, though not before adding that she already knew he was an asshole from Alcina, which earns her a halfhearted swipe from Karl that Rose easily dodges with a childish giggle. From that point on their relationship improves astronomically as Karl finally gives in and teaches Rose about about engineering and everything else that goes into making the metal horrors that he’s known for. Karl is shocked at how quickly Rose picks up on the trade, getting to the point where Karl wonders if he should start giving Rose her own projects to work on, but quickly rolls his eyes and groans when he remember that Salvatore was the one responsible for her education up until this point, the mere thought of having to give compliments to that “moronic freak” for giving Rose such a good educational foundation makes him want to vomit despite how secretly impressed he is. Overall, Rose’s time with Heisenberg starts out shaky, very shaky even, but after a bit of disaster and some swallowing of the pride on Karl’s part, they end up growing quite close and have a nice fun Uncle and martass Neice dynamic. They make a good team and Karl does genuinely enjoy having a little assistant around to help him with his projects, even if Rose can sound a bit too much like Alcina on some days for his liking.

5. 3 more years come and go and now Rose is a strong and healthy 12 years old, perhaps riddled with a few more scars and smearings of ash and motor oil across her skin than when she first arrived but still strong and capable nonetheless. Going back to that first statement however, this of course means that it’s time for the other 3 lords to come banging on Karl’s door for a change, all but demanding that Rose be handed back over to them. Karl of course refuses, telling them all to fuck off and that Rose didn’t want a leave the factory, so upon realization that all 4 lords were gathered here with the intention of taking Rose back to live with them indefinitely, a fight immediately breaks out between the 4 siblings, as each one makes their case as to why Rose should be returned to them and not the other 3, which of course none of the 4 lords can come to an agreement about because they ALL want Rose to stay with them. So after another long and pointlessly arduous argument, Alcina finally breaks, proclaiming that they’d be here for all eternity of they didn’t make a decision now, and that, like the first time the 4 siblings argued over whether Rose should go with Heisenberg or return to one of the previous lords, Rose would be the one to decide which of her four caretakers she would return to. The agreement is made reluctantly, mostly on the part of Salvatore, Donna, and Heisenberg, but there was seemingly no other way for them to come to a decision, so it would unfortunately have to be up to Rose to decide which of her 4 caretakers she wants to stay with permanently. Rose is quickly brought before the 4 lords and explained the situation, before being given some time to herself to think and make her final decision. A tense and uneasy silence falls over the 4 lords as they wait for the little girl, who they had shown an uncharacteristic amount of mercy and time and devotion and love in the 12 years since Mother Miranda had brought her to the village with the intention of using her to revive an already lost and long-gone baby that she never would have gotten back no matter how hard she tried. Although they refused to admit it to one another, the lords all secretly knew that Rose had wormed her way into each of their cold, dead hearts, reviving an aspect of their humanity that they’d all thought had been lost ages ago. Rose came to the village bringing with her a wave of death and destruction, and yet throughout her childhood she has brought them nothing but light and life, illuminating their previously dark and desolate existences. The 4 lords loved their Rose very dearly and desperately wanted her to be happy, yet each of them possesses a dark and selfish desire to have Rose pick them over the other 3, to come and live with them forever and fill the hole deep inside them that they never knew needed filling. After a short while, Rose comes back out and stands before her 4 beloved caretakers, looking around nervously as she picks at her fingernails. The silence is thick and heavy as the 4 lords stare at the young girl, waiting with bated breaths for her to give her final verdict. Rose continues to say nothing as tears begin to flow from her eyes, sliding down her cheeks in thick streams as the girl begins to sob, dropping her head and clenching her dress. The 4 lords look between one another in confusion, unsure of what to do with this sudden burst of tears. Rose tearfully admits that she can’t and doesn’t want to choose which of the 4 lords she wants to live with permanently because she loves them all very much and wants to be able to see and live with all of them, like they’ve done thus far. Although the lords detest the idea of having to share Rose with anyone, they reluctantly come to an agreement for the girl’s sake, deciding that they would continue with the arrangement they’ve had thus far, only that Rose would switch between caretakers every 3 months instead of every 3 years, giving rose plenty of opportunities to see each of her caretakers just like she wanted. From then on, Rose continues to live her life

5, cont. growing up and learning more and more from each of her beloved caretakers. Although Rose would likely never know what a normal life looks like, living with 4 criminally insane monsters in the remote mountain village in Romania, it would be impossible to say that she wouldn’t have a happy life despite that. Perhaps its because the girl simply doesn’t know any better, so she doesn’t have the ability to see just how messed up her life and her 4 caretakers really are, but i imagine that Rose probably wouldn’t care very much to learn even if she had the opportunity. She’s a happy little girl living a strange but enjoyable life with the only family she’ll ever need. What more could she possibly ask for?

6. As for how Mother Miranda would play into this whole scenario I’ve just drunkenly spat out, im honestly not 100% sure. Ive seen some people suggesting that MM just kinda chills and lets the lords do what they want with Rose, but tbh I honestly don’t see that happening in this universe. MM would still have been just as crazy and driven to get Eva back as she was in canon, so i doubt she’d willingly standby and let her “false children” take away her one shot of getting her real child back simply because they didn’t want to hurt her, i just don’t personally see that happening. The two most likely scenarios i can come up with is that the Lords either banded together and look Miranda on together, their combined forces being enough to take her down and kill her, OR, Ethan is the one to take down MM like he did in canon but he passes out before he can get to rose, giving the lords (who he hadn’t ended up killing but just escaping from i guess) the opportunity to slide in, grab rose, and hightail it out of there, leaving Ethan’s body to be retrieved by Chris, who, due to not seeing or hearing Rose anywhere, believes that Rose must have been accidentally killed along with MM, which he later tells to Ethan and Mia. Regardless of how MM gets taken out of the picture (or if she’s given room to potentially come back later), the 4 lords retreat with Rose and begin the whole cycle I explained up above, but i did want to briefly address how I saw MM fitting into all of this since she is a vital part of the original story and the biggest obstacle to the lords having anything to do with Rose.

Anyways, that was so much longer than I intended it to be but I had so much fun with it just because it gave me the opportunity to spit some fun ideas and potential plot points out about this cool AU that I like and hope someone does SOMETHING with, please god someone do it, I’d do it myself but i have enough projects at the moment unfortunately. If you managed to make it all the way to the bottom, thank you for reading all of that, I appreciate it, and I hope you enjoyed at least some parts of this, and maybe even agree with some of the things I said. Feel free to leave your own ideas in the comments, I’d love to read them and hopefully if enough people like this maybe i will actually do something with it. Who knows? I certainly dont. Anyways thank you for reading all this, i hope you have a great day, and maybe ill see you around in another post. Bye!!! <3

[lillywillow]

The Forest Provides

Summary: You and Muriel have been trying for a baby for a long time. One day, Muriel finds a baby alone in the woods

 Word Count: 1880

 Pairings: Muriel of the Kokhuri x Female Reader

 Warnings: Minor spoilers from the main plot, very mild angst at the beginning

 Married life with Muriel had been absolute bliss but lately you had felt like something was missing. It wasn’t until you were visiting Asra in town and started noticing the families around that you realised what it was; a child of your own. When you brought up your desire to Muriel, he was surprisingly open to it. After months of trying, you were starting to get a little discouraged.

...

 One night, you were lying in bed with your husband, idly tracing patterns on his chest.

 “What’s on your mind?” Muriel mumbled, his soft voice pulling you from your thoughts.

 “I’ve just been thinking... we’ve been trying for months for a baby and I’m wondering... what if it’s me? What if when I came back... not everything works right? I’m getting scared that I can’t carry a baby... The next time Nazali is in town, I’m going to ask them if they can do a full check up on me.”

 “You don’t trust Julian to do it?” Muriel asked, a little surprised.

 “It’s not that I don’t trust him, he’s one of my dearest friends. It’s just that Nazali has had more experience. They might be able to provide some answers...” You started to tear up a little at the thought of not being able to have a baby of your own.

 Muriel held you tighter. Much like you, he had been having his own doubts about his ability to give you a child. What if it was his fault that he couldn’t give you the child you wanted? Muriel chose not to voice his concerns in order not to worry you further. For now, he would just hold you in his arms and comfort you until you fell asleep.

...

 The following morning, Muriel was walking with Inanna in the woods looking for a few more supplies. Suddenly, the wolf stopped, sensing something.

 “What is it, Inanna?”

 Inanna started sniffing the ground, following the scent in a hurry. Muriel followed, feeling worried about her safety. Finally, she stopped in front of a tree, sitting proudly, tongue lolling out to the side.

 “Inanna, what have you...?” Muriel stopped dead in his tracks.

 Nestled under the shade of a tree in a basket was a sleeping baby. The infant had a head of soft black curls and was wrapped in green blankets. Muriel gentle knelt down and picked up the precious bundle. Disturbed by the sudden movement, the baby woke and opened her eyes, revealing them to be fawn brown. Muriel froze, afraid the baby was about to cry but instead, the infant simply cooed at him. He noticed a name had been lovingly stitched into the baby’s blanket.

 Kalila.

 “Inanna, can you see if you can find the parents anywhere?”

 The wolf started sniffing the ground and followed the scent for as long as she could but ultimately lost it. Muriel couldn’t help but wonder who would leave a defenceless baby all alone in the woods but then he thought about his own parents and how they gave him up to save his life. Maybe Kalila’s parents were also left with no choice... Muriel decided to bring her home with him.

...

 When Muriel arrived home, you ran up to greet him but stopped when you saw the basket he had in his arms.

 “What is that?”

 “I found her in the woods. Inanna and I looked for her parents but couldn’t find them,” Muriel replied, finding a safe place to put down the basket.

 Asra, (whom had dropped by for a visit), poked his fluffy white head from around you.

 “A baby...”

 “I brought her in. I won’t allow her to end up like us,” he said, turning his head to Asra. Asra gently placed a hand on his friend’s arm with a gentle smile.

  You were in absolute awe of Kalila. Carefully, you took her out of her basket and held her close.

 “She’s perfect,” you smiled, tearing up a little.

 Muriel couldn’t help but smile. At least in some form, he had given you the baby you had so desperately wanted. Then another thought crept into his mind; would he be a good enough father for this child?

 “You should get Julian to give her a check-up,” Asra said, gently picking up Kalila for a cuddle.

 “Does he have to?” Muriel muttered, somewhat bitterly.

 “Asra has a point, Muriel. We want little... Kalila to be healthy, right?” you stated, checking the baby’s blanket for her name.

 Muriel grumbled under his breath. He knew you were both right but that didn’t make him like it.

 “Right, then. I’ll go set it up,” Asra smiled, handing you back Kalila. “See you in a while!”

 With that, Asra headed out the door. You couldn’t help but laugh at the sullen expression on your husband’s face.

 “Wh-what?”

 “You’re awfully cute when you’re sulking,” you smiled. His face turned crimson.

 “I’m not sulking,” he protested, but the pout in his lip told another story.

 “Yeah, you are...”

 You were suddenly interrupted by Kalila cooing.

 “I’m going to be the best mother in the world to you...” The baby seemed to understand you and snuggled up close.

 Muriel knew that was true but could he say the same of his parenting skills? Time could only tell and he hoped he would be a good father to Kalila.

...

 A while later, there was a knock on the door. You opened it to see Julian standing there with his doctor bag and Asra holding some kind of bundle. Smiling, you ushered the pair inside.

 “I hope you don’t mind, but I told Nadia about your situation and she said she was more than happy to help,” he smiled, showing you the contents of the bundle. Inside were all kinds of baby supplies, from clothes to bottles.

 “We’ll have to thank her the next time we see her,” you smiled. Muriel made an affirmative grunt.

 “So, where is the bundle of joy?” Julian asked, removing his menacing looking coat and gloves.

 You went over to where Kalila was cuddled up to Inanna in front of the fireplace.

 “I’m going to take her away for a bit, okay? I’ll bring her back soon,” you assured the wolf. Inanna gave Kalila’s head a lick and allowed her to be picked up. Kalila giggled and cooed happily.

 “Here she is,” you said, placing Kalila on the table so Julian could examine her.

 The doctor began his task but the baby began to fuss.

 “Stop! You’re hurting her!” Muriel snapped.

 Inanna jumped to her feet, snarling and ready to protect Kalila. Julian raised his hands in defence.

 “It’s okay... I’m not hurting her. I think my hands are a little cold. That’s all the problem is...” Julian carefully went over to warm up his hands by the fire, under the watchful gaze of Muriel and Inanna. You kept a hand on both of them to keep them from tearing the doctor apart.

 Once they were warm enough, Julian went to continue his examination. Fortunately, that was indeed the issue and Kalila allowed herself to be poked and prodded.

 “She’s perfectly healthy. Just come and see me for regular checkups and call me if anything happens,” Julian smiled, putting away his equipment after cleaning it.

 “Good. Now get out,” Muriel grumbled.

 “Muriel,” you chided.

 “It’s okay, Y/N. I’ve got to get back to the clinic anyway. You coming, Asra?”

 “Yep! Right behind you. I’ll see you two later.”

 Asra hugged the pair of you before leaving with Julian. You had wondered why he would be at the clinic with Julian but you decided that perhaps that question was best unasked.

 Inanna trotted back to her comfy spot by the fire and settled down again. Muriel picked up Kalila and placed her back next to her furry godmother. The baby giggled happily and snuggled into Inanna’s fluffy side. Muriel smiled warmly at the pair, happy Kalila took so easily to his faithful companion. He watched them for a while before helping you get the place set up for little Kalila.

...

 That night, Muriel had a dream.

 He was standing in front of a familiar hut, wondering what he was doing there. Muriel was about to knock when the door was opened by an older woman.

 “Muriel!” The woman enveloped him in a tight hug.

 “Khamgalai? What are you doing here?”

 “What kind of question is that? I live here,” she huffed, bringing him inside. The inside of the hut was just as warm and inviting as he remembered.

 Khamgalai bustled about, making Muriel sit down.

 “Why... why am I here now?”

 “The Hermit told me you seek guidance...”

 Muriel’s brows furrowed together. He knew what was troubling him but he didn’t want to be a burden.

 “You’re worried you won’t be a good enough father to your new found daughter...” It was more of a statement than a question.

 Muriel opened and closed his mouth a few times before simply nodding.

 “I’m here to tell you that you will be a wonderful father to Kalila... and to the child your wife is carrying.”

 Muriel’s eyes widened.

 “Y/N is not... I mean... she...”

 “Oh, my! Yes, it is still a little too early to tell yet,” Khamgalai chuckled to herself. “But assure you, Y/N is pregnant. Your prayers have finally been answered.”

 Muriel stared at the smaller woman in shock. How did she...?

 “I answered them. Dear boy, I know you have doubts but I promise you this, Kalila will grow to be a strong young woman under your guidance. You will teach her all she needs to know. Same with the new baby Y/N will bring into the world.”

  “But...”

 “No buts! No more self doubt! I will come back to smack some sense into you if I have to!”

 Muriel managed a small smile and got up to hug Khamgalai.

 “Thank you...”

 “You’ve got a long journey ahead of you. I will always be watching over you. Rest assured. Give my love to Y/N...”

...

 You woke in the middle of the night to Kalila softly wailing. Stirring, you went to get up to tend to her but Muriel beat you to it.

 “I’ve got her...”

 You watched as he carefully took Kalila out of her basket to give her a bottle. Muriel hummed to her as he prepared the warm milk for her. The baby stared up at him adoringly as she waited, the sound of Muriel’s rumbling voice gently soothing her. Your heart melted at the sight.

 When Kalila was fed, burped and put back to sleep, Muriel returned to you. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close and placed one hand on your tummy.

 “You’re going to make a wonderful father,” you sleepily purred, nuzzling him.

 Muriel thought about Khamgalai’s words. He suddenly found himself excited for this next chapter of his life, knowing he had all the love and support of his family and friends.

[hockeylvr59]

Collide Part 2 || Sidney Crosby

Summary: Life as a single foster mom and a pediatrician didn’t leave much time for dating. But when Dr. Erin Lancaster becomes the pediatrician for Pittsburgh Penguins Defenseman Brian Dumoulin's baby boy, her association and quick friendship with his wife Kayla turns her crazy but quiet life upside down. 

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: Apparently my brain is just on a Sid kick lately. First a blurb update, now this one. Let me know what you think. 

Warnings: alcohol consumption        Word Count: 2,001

~~~~~

The weeks leading up to the holiday season were usually some of the best as a foster mom. The kids that I called my own, even temporarily, generally didn’t have a great experience with family holidays in the past and it was always exciting to teach them the magic of the season. The joy of watching the Macy’s parade and then football before having a big meal, going looking at Christmas lights, and everything else that filled the days between Thanksgiving and Christmas. 

This year though, this year was tough. A few weeks ago, just days after my trip to the hospital, the seven year old I was fostering was moved to another placement. More biological siblings had popped up in the system and taking them would have placed me over my permitted limit. So instead, the rambunctious boy I was finally starting to make strides with was moved so that he could be with siblings he had never met, all because of the preference of keeping siblings together. A week later, my five year old was transferred back into the care of his mother who had successfully completed a rehabilitation program. I wasn’t sure the woman could be trusted but the court had decided she was fit enough to regain custody and there was nothing I could do about it. 

Finally, yesterday, my newborn had been deemed stable enough to be placed with a paternal grandmother now that he was completely off the drugs. I had done my limited job of making sure that he got elevated care and now he was in the placement I knew he’d end up in all along. 

It was the weekend before Thanksgiving and for the first time in a long time I didn’t have any kids under my roof. Honestly, I couldn’t remember the last time I didn’t have any kids placed with me, it had been that long. Yesterday, it had been easy enough to ignore, I went into the office to catch up on paperwork, I picked up dry cleaning and went grocery shopping before drinking half a bottle of wine and falling into bed exhausted. 

Today though, things were quiet and now that the world had stilled around me, my normally thick exterior cracked and I found myself sobbing steadily. I loved being a foster mom, I really did, but it was heartbreaking to know that these kids would never be mine for one reason or another. That while most days my house was full of laughter and as much love as these kids could manage, days like today would always be waiting at the end of it all. 

While drowning my sorrows with a pint of ice cream I definitely didn’t need to be eating at 11am, my phone buzzed beside me with a message from Kayla Dumoulin. She had texted more than once over the past few weeks with worries such as whether Brayden’s cord was healing normally and whether she could cut his nails because he didn’t like the mittens but she didn’t want him to cut himself. Through our text conversations she had learned of my rapidly emptying house and her message this morning was just to check in and see how I was doing. 

She was such a sweetheart and I replied with a shrug emoji declaring that if sobbing over a pint of ice cream at 11am was normal then I was doing just fine. The phone rang a moment later and I sighed seeing her name pop up because the message wasn’t intended to make her feel guilty or anything, it was just genuine honesty. Still, I answered the phone, setting the pint of ice cream aside for a moment. 

“It sounds like you need some baby cuddles.” Kayla stated, the sound of soft chatter coming through the line. “Why don’t you come over. Brayden wouldn’t mind seeing his favorite doctor.” She suggested. 

“That’s sweet but I’ll be okay.” I assured her. “I don’t want to impose. I’m sure I can find something to do.” 

“You’re not imposing.” Kayla insisted. “Me texting you at 2am with a breastfeeding question was imposing.” Her voice was teasing and I sighed softly remembering being up with my own newborn when she had a question about hers since Brian was on the road. 

“Seriously.” She continued. “Come over, snuggle Brayden, and give my husband a second opinion on this bottle of wine he just got since I can’t drink.” She suggested. Sensing that she truly meant it, I sighed and agreed reluctantly telling her to send me the address. 

____

45 minutes later, I had cleaned myself up so it didn’t look like I had spent the last few hours sobbing. After putting on some light makeup, I had thrown on some black jeans, a striped long sleeve tee, and a tan pullover before deeming myself decent enough to head out. 

Plugging the address in my phone’s gps, I drove over to Kayla and Brian’s neighborhood, parking down on the street in front of their house. It didn’t even register that there were approximately a half dozen cars spread between the driveway and the street already as I made my way up to the front door. 

Kayla greeted me after just a minute and I gently teased that if I didn’t know better I wouldn’t believe she just had a baby as she let me inside. That made her smile, and as she guided me to the kitchen for a glass of wine I realized that there was a significant amount of noise coming from the living room. It wasn’t until she was murmuring for me to make myself comfortable that I realized the living room was occupied by almost a dozen Penguins players, football pregame on tv. 

“Alright Muzz, you can give my baby back now.” Kayla declared half-joking, half-serious. As soon as the goalie handed the baby over, Kayla was crossing the room back to me and handing off the little boy who just snuggled into my chest as soon as he was placed there. “There...baby snuggles.” She murmured. 

“Thanks.” I whispered, resting a hand over the infant’s back before taking a sip of wine feeling slightly uncomfortable as eyes slowly landed on me. 

“Hey doc.” Brian greeted appearing from somewhere else in the house. “Let me know what you think of that wine, not sure if this brand is a keeper or not.” He stated simply portraying the feeling that I wasn’t at all anywhere I didn’t belong and that this was a normal occurrence. Nodding I promised to do so before just focusing back on the baby in my arms. The physician portion of my brain noted that he was doing well and had certainly been growing while the rest of me just found myself relaxing at the feeling of a baby’s steady breaths. 

Most of the guys paid me no mind as the game started. Yet I felt one pair of eyes linger. As I stepped outside after handing Brayden off to feed just before halftime, a four legged companion joined me and I chuckled petting the Dumoulin’s dog Roo while sitting on the steps of their patio nursing my second glass of wine. 

The patio door slid open and then shut before a body slid down next to me on the steps. 

“So where are your foster kids?” A familiar voice asked and glancing over my eyes met those of the Penguins Captain. 

“With another foster family, with their mother, and with their paternal grandmother.” I whispered, quickly taking another sip of the wine to try and push back another round of tears. “The sucky thing about being a foster mom is they always go away in the end.” 

“I...I didn’t know.” Sid mumbled after a moment and I waved him off petting Roo and wiping at my eye with the back of my hand. 

“I didn’t expect you to.” I stated simply. 

“So that’s why…” Sid trailed off, stopping when I nodded. 

“Baby cuddles to try and make everything better.” I shrugged. “To fill the three new cracks in my heart. It’s been a long time since I was childless.” I whispered. “I’ve been trying to recall when it was and I honestly can’t remember. I feel like it had to have happened at least a few times but I really can’t recall not having anyone since I became a foster mom in the first place.” 

“How long is that?” Sid asked, tone softer now than it had been that day at the hospital. 

“Two...almost three years. I applied to become a foster parent toward the end of my residency.” 

“Can I ask how many?” Sid questioned. 

“36.” 

“In three years? That’s...wow.” Glancing over I could see the genuine shock on his face. 

“I don’t know what the turnover rate is generally but I’m fairly certain my rate is higher than average. I get a lot of the drug addicted babies because of my skills and they’re generally only with me 2-3 weeks until it’s safe to move them into a more permanent placement, often with other family members.” 

“How do you handle that?” He murmured, reaching down to pet Roo as well who had rolled over onto her back for belly rubs. 

“Usually I just focus on my patients, on the kids that I do still have with me because they deserve all of my love and attention. This time? Crying over Ben and Jerry’s at 11am until Kayla insisted I come over.” A smile cracked Sid’s face and he apologized quickly declaring that this isn’t something to smile about. 

“No it’s okay. You can find it amusing, I know it wasn’t the most healthy coping method.” 

“Are you going to be okay?” He inquires softly. 

“Yeah. Well, I should probably lay off the wine. Dumo has really good taste.” Sid’s eyes crinkled a little bit and he looked at me like be serious. “I will be. I mean it’s only a matter of time before I get the call that another child needs me.” I assured him. “I just...sometimes...days like this...they make me wonder whether I still want to do this, you know…” 

“Go on…” Sid urged. 

“I just...it’s so hard. Never knowing whether I’m going to wake up and have to say goodbye again. Constantly giving away pieces of my heart that I’ll never get back. Days like today make me just want to be a mom. Not a foster mom but a mom. To have my own kids who won’t be there one day and gone the next.” 

“I get that feeling.” Sid murmured after a moment. “Not the ‘here one day gone the next’ part, but uh, wanting your own kids part, that I get.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he spoke before dropping his hand back down to pet Roo, his fingers brushing against mine. Immediately my mind flashed back to the feeling of his hand wrapped around mine and I quickly pushed that aside. 

“There you are!” Kayla exclaimed, popping her head out the door, her eyes shifting back and forth between you and Sid and noting how close you were sitting. “We just put out some food if you’re hungry and want something other than ice cream.” She grinned, dipping back inside looking like she was about to burst with what she just saw even if it was absolutely nothing. 

When Sid stood he offered a hand out to help you up, murmuring for Roo to come inside and he’d see if he could find her a treat. The bulldog was eager for that and followed after him as you brushed yourself off and picked your wine glass up moving to rejoin the group. 

Ridding of your buzz with some food and water and more baby snuggles you finally headed home with the feeling that there was something more to your conversation with Sid that you hadn’t put your finger on.

Outfit: 

[silverspoonfedbraggart]

I played alongside my little cousin

This thanksgiving

I used the culmination of my work experience

To elevate the dining experience

Of the youngest member of our family

Well at one point

Just like me

16 years i held onto that crown

Before stepping down

Glad to relinquish spotlight

She seemed so much more willing to perform

But i know the baby is pushing her from her stage for the first time

Shared limelight on the couch in the living room. As mother Mary hands her newborn to the youngest in the room. Without telling her to support the neck, a child holds an infant and the woman call to all to make more.

I look to my queer cousin with a shared reality that our ships have both sailed away from that idea of family. Though we like to come back for snapshots

But maybe Emma was even there as a new boy stole her fame

Something new always develops just out of frame

I’ll be the lighthouse that keeps her from crashing rather than a panopticon, watching for her to trip and fix it.

Adjourn the domestic sphere

For a brief recess

Play in the meadows-grown-over-farm-fields,

be gay backdropped by deer

She says she wants to play hide and seek

No on has asked me to play my favorite game in years

We Negotiate the game rules

But I tell her not to hide outside the fence

Out of bounds, off the map, what would her parents say if i lost her to the woods?

i slink into shadows to count

Riffle through the inventory to keep the magic alive with pretty rocks and natural history

Through whimsy teach her

how to really play hide and seek

We only talk about deserts and the extremes of ourselves

Loves and hates

When we reenter for dinner, I’m sorry to her that i got distracted from our game.

But i cant help but see the record skipping

As i look around the room

See so many that share my face, my brain, my, dna

To feel like you are the same

Yet you can’t sink in

To the seam of the couch

Because they remodeled the farmhouse

Gammie overplayed and overlayed

By leisas wallpaper in a warmer shade

The yellow wallpaper

I stare out and resist the urge to crawl on all fours

Like i did as a little girl

To talk to the animals

Since no one else would take the time

To listen

To understand me

But I’ve made myself understandable to Mankind, i am the ambassador at dinner for child and man, man and woman, the bridge between two spheres. Reconnect the bisected globe

I dont care who else is talking. I’m listening to her

Because she does that to me.

Takes my word on good faith

That i can speak to foxes and can tell stories in cards.

The looks of dissonance behind her eyes. As new information enters her mind and makes its place, the boxes of fact and fiction not unsealed in her mind, not to mentioned emptied and resorted. She opens her mind and the magic that i speak is real, and i get what Peter Pan meant

A boy healing his inner child

The little girl that curled and went dormant inside this suit of armor

Red riding hood was never cut out of the belly of the beast, but My Dear never learned to fear Canine teeth

So maybe I’ll gently lie to her about the details of our world. She’ll be ready to know someday. Until then

I’ll ask her questions and I’ll remember her answers because a 6 year old has a lot figured out

But still needs someone there to direct, guide, and lead the way

Through the woods and through the dark

To find discarded branches from trees

Sticks to throw to the dogs, make even the smartest at ease

And i tell her to only pick up the sticks from the ground

Because those were the gifts the tree left

And my little doe, if i wanted a strand of your hair,

Wouldn’t you rather i pick it off the ground than cut it from your head? 

It’s an impossible wish for me to hope that she comes out of childhood, still intact

Maybe she won’t be consumed entirely, will be able to crawl back up the throat because she won’t wait in vain for someone to save her

I’ll teach her to save herself.

[hshouse]

Hi

This is going to sound insane. But I need help and I don't know what to do

I have post partum depression and anxiety and I come from a country where I am not allowed to go to see a doctor for that. And I saw many doctors reply to you . So maybe some doctors can help me answer my doubt. I live with my mother in law( as well as mybhusvand and father in law ) who wants to spend a lot of time with my new baby but she is very possesive and no doubt will shower my baby with gifts once he grows a bit older. Will he not be close to me because of that ? He already looks at her and responds to her a lot. My depression is making it hard for me to play with him like she does.

She wants very badly to keep me and the baby apart so that he will be close to her. Will it make him not want me at all?

Hi bby,

I’m so sorry you are struggling. None of this sounds insane. Please trust what I am about to tell you, as I am 100% sure. Your son will ALWAYS love you more than they will love their grandparents. This is non negotiable. He is literally WIRED to need you and to love you. It’s a done deal. Having more people that love him is just a bonus that will make sure he is a well adjusted and happy boy. Your baby at this point doesn’t even understand that you and him are not the same thing. That’s how connected you are. Plus you will love and care for him and only grow that bond.

Cross bridges when you get there. You have an infant, he does not understand anything at this point. So, don’t let your mind treat him like he is a full grown kid that understands and internalizes anything grandma say or does. He doesn’t. He just wants to stay alive at this point. If in YEARS the relationship with her bothers you, then you can deal with. But this is not true right now. Suffering now will not help ease the future pain, it will only extend it.

He responds to her because she probably has more experience handling babies (she had one at least lol). That’s it. There is literally nothing more to it. Babies love me and respond to me so much more than most people I know. Like stranger babies. It’s just a thing when you know how babies work. It means nothing but that I know how to get them to pay attention to me.

I obviously don’t know your relationship with her, but a lot of times women are understanding of these struggles. So consider approaching her with love and closeness. Maybe tell her “hey I’m struggling and I kind need you to help me get through this. Can you teach me how to do X and Y? I see that you are good at it and I want to learn from you to give him the best always.” Most women would be very touched and grateful and kinda proud you saw that they are good and would help you. Again, I don’t know the relationship but I’d tell you to try your best to not let your thoughts that you know are coming from the depression (imagine it as a little monster on your shoulder that just says the most mean sad stuff) affect your relationship with her. This is one of the ways depression keeps itself alive: by MAKING you create the situation they are telling already exists. Does that make sense? So like be aware of that.

Lastly, please feel free to come back if you liked the advice. I’m very very very excited to have babies and I know/think a lot about it. Plus I have all kids of mental illness education since lol. Sending you and your baby boy so much love.

Oh another thing. I’m Brazilian and I firmly believe this is something from our culture that others can learn from: physically show love to you baby all the time. Like I can’t explain how much I was kissed and hugged as a kid. So give him a thousand kisses. Let him sleep on you. Physical bonding to me (and my culture) is the secret to the best parent/kid relationships.

[gaymershigh]

hulloh! I've only been on tumblr for a few hours, and me and my friend already love your work! Is it ok if I request some TWST parent scenarios with Riddle,Lilia,Sebek,Vil and Floyd? If so, thanks! Also once again, me and my freind love ur works alot!

Of course! Since there's no s/o really mentioned in here but people might still want to be included, s/o will be mentioned just a tiny bit (the kids being biological or adopted is up to you since I want to make the s/o gender neutral.) Also, thanks a lot! I'm still and probably be forever an amateur writer so this means a lot to me 🥺💞💞

Triggers: None

Parents au: Riddle, Lilia, Sebek, Vil and Floyd edition!

From what we've seen, his parents are not the best role models like, at all. They were too strict, pressuring him and treating him like a trophy child. However, he will definitely not treat his child like that at all after Ace slapped him with reality.

He will be a bit strict, having some rules and will scold them if they did something wrong but not as scold them the way his mother does. He won't raise his voice at them, showing them the right path after he scolded them. He will give them freedom and try his best to not make his children suffer the same thing he did, especially when he's the source of the pain.

Though, he might accidentally adapt some things from his mother and project her ways to his children, being completely not self aware. If you're his s/o, please teach him the baby steps to avoid this from this occurring too often.

Unfortunately, having a good life and children won't make his short temper extend. This is the only reason why he doesn't spoil them too much, they might act entitled and may be too late to change them back to the innocent infant they were back then. He tries very hard to control his temper if his children unintentionally knock furniture over or damage something. He just needs a few minutes alone, everything will be back to normal later.

There was one time where his child's birthday was near and decided to bake a cake from scratch, without any assistance from Trey nor his s/o. Thinking he could do it and don't want anyone to underestimate him. He was planning to make a burnt strawberry cheesecake and did the mistake of leaving the oven on for an hour for 400 degrees fahrenheit. The cake went on fire but it tasted very good when he for some reason tasted it. Nobody knew about the incident and the cake was actually used for its purpose. Yay for him, I guess.

He was already pretty outdated in trends when he was in his teens so do expect him to be like a middle aged soccer mom on Facebook every time his children send him memes or something like that. If he does even use any sort of social media and stumbled upon a 'funny' minion meme or something, he will definitely send it to the family group chat. He will make those 5th grade types of edits with one of the family pictures with a "I love my family". It's funny but still wholesome so don't laugh at him.

There is no alternate universe where Lilia isn't a good dad. Silver and his other wards are already an amazing example of how amazing of a parent he is! He has gained a bunch of experience so he got this in the bag.

Though, his way of taking care of children might be different from how it is now. Times have changed, there are probably some new and uncomplicated objects or toys to entertain the baby or child. He would love to go on a shopping trip to buy some fascinating kids toys he found in the toy store. Please stop him from buying everything in there because it looks "intriguing".

If you're his s/o, you're very lucky since if you have a baby who always cries at three in the morning or a kid who really have trouble sleeping, Lilia will sing a lullaby and they'll doze off in any second. He can wake up easily or he'll just always stay up playing his games so you don't even need to break a sweat in this situation.

His kids or any kid in general loves him lots. He will always tell his tales anywhere, anytime. If the kids ask him for a story to tell, he will always have a new one ready to tell. They also make amazing bedtime stories! It can be funny little innocent stories like his funny experiences taking care of his three wards to actual battles he went through. Any story is a good story.

He really got along with his child when they're young and innocent but when they get into their teenage years, oh boy. He will unintentionally embarrasses them but their friends won't mind. If anything, they will love him being around as he's always keeping up with the games and trends, not being a fat, shirtless creepy dad. One of the positive parts about his child growing up is that he can play video games with him just like he did with Silver! Reliving the nice memories.

He would always try to cook something in any opportunity he gets and of course, he gets stopped by either s/o or his own children. Yes, they have to go through the hard way to realize their father is garbage at cooking. He would always try to cook some food everytime something good has happen in order to celebrate but most of the times, he just wants to cook something for them to show how much he loves them. They really made him happy, he finally have a biological/adopted offspring to watch growing up (again).

Sebek unfortunately doesn't have that much time to spend time with his children due to being Malleus' trusted escort. Of course, when he does have free time and is not exhausted he will use the opportunity to spend it with his adorable younglings.

Knowing him, he still loves and worships Malleus but he's no longer his only priority in life when he finally has a life of his own other than just being Malleus' bodyguard. He will ramble and tell so many stories about his young master to his kids. They will be infatuated but will later complain about how everything is just "Malleus this, Malleus that". He will get a bit upset about that comment, so he will only talk about Malleus stories for 3 days a week.

He only has focused his life on guarding Malleus and advancing himself on magic and education. Now that he's now an actual father, this is a new chapter in his life and he's not prepared at all. He will seek Lilia for guidance and of course, Lilia being Lilia will rope him to doing something absolutely ridiculous and he would of course, woefully fall for it. Pretty surprising that no matter how much he has fallen for his teacher's trap, he still seeks him for advice.

His kids will definitely learn how to read fast. He loves reading and he really wants his kids to appreciate it too. He was about to immediately give them the books that have old and poetic language without even knowing what the alphabet was. Lilia put a stop to this and you couldn't even bear seeing how sad he looked because he needs to wait for a few years for him to have little reading buddies. Oh well, it doesn't matter now. He will teach them how to read and appreciate the art of reading no matter how long it takes.

He has exposed his children to a bunch of Malleus propaganda so there's no surprise if the children become just like him. Loud screaming, Malleus worshipping, smart but naive and other things Sebek has. If you're his s/o, please keep the children in check as they might cause problems to the neighbors. As this might be troublesome, it's at least entertaining experience I suppose.

Just like Sebek, he has even less time to spend with his kids as he always has modeling, acting and other businesses to attend. He's probably going to be exhausted when he comes back as well. Though, of course he's going to try to use all his energy to talk to his children till he can no longer open his eyes anymore. He prefers an s/o that is a stay-in mom/dad so the children won't feel lonely while he's gone.

They're definitely gonna grow up just like him. A model, actor, media influencer, or the combination of the three and it's not a bad thing. If they're going on the same route as him, he will teach them in a strict but still in a somewhat caring manner as he has learned a lot from his experience of the VDC boot camp and the overblot incident. He will only show his threatening side if they start to misbehave like those ADeuce rats.

Just because they are his children, doesn't mean they get a free pass if they intentionally neglect or not doing their best at all times, especially when it comes to appearance. He's known to be a neat-freak and a very hard worker to the point it's concerning. He will scold them if more than two pimples pop up on their face but he knows when to cross the line. He learned this easier if their child is rather sensitive and just emotionally fragile in general but they still need to take care of themselves.

He expects his children to follow his footsteps when it comes to where they're schooling. He wants them to enter a prestigious school like he did for his reputation and for the sake of his children's future. This is optional (not really) but he also hopes his children to enter Pomefiore as well and take the dorm head title at least the second week they enroll in this school. If they were sorted to a different dorm, they still want them to have a role in their dorm or in the school at all.

He begs to the Great Seven that paparazzi or desperate losers obsessing over him don't intrude into his personal life, especially if it's about his family. The last thing he wants to witness is his family in pain or being uncomfortable for their whole life. He usually avoids or straight up tells the interviewer that he's not comfortable answering questions when they're going too personal when it's about questions of his family.

You cannot feel anymore blessed when you see his smiling face when he received news about having a vacation. He can finally spend more time with his wonderful kids he's raising with all his heart. He will tell them about some funny incidents in the studio while he was involved in some modeling gig or he will bring them to a private island with gorgeous scenery for both of them to enjoy. Of course, his children's happy faces are more beautiful than the island.

Floyd is seen to be very warm and sweet despite having a very intimidating height. Naturally, he's not going to be ruthless and act the same when it's with his children because it's his children of course, family is precious to him. He has a lot of energy even after a long shift at Mostro Lounge, so he will always spend a lot of time with his kids.

He's physically affectionate so expect him to be always close and wrapping his arms around his children at almost all times. He'll usually let them sit on his lap when they watch TV or sleep with them if they can't go back to sleep because of a nightmare. Headpats are needed, especially if the kids did something good or got good news. Not saying he won't give any headpats if something bad happens, maybe headpats of sympathy perhaps.

He's very patient when it's with his children because he doesn't want his children to fear him when they grow up. If anything, the s/o have to do the scolding to avoid him snapping or anything like the sort. They rarely do anything bad though, since they're aware of how their dad acts from how he treats a dirty burglar who once tried to break in.

Since he's usually very active and hates just standing around, he expects his children to be just like him. It's never boring if your dad is Floyd as he always has something really entertaining to do at most times. If you're his s/o, you have the free entrance to see an eel man dancing around with his kids or playing some basketball either inside or preferably in the backyard. He tried showing the art of parkour but is stopped due to it being very risky. He sulked about this but oh well, once they're ten, they have no choice but to learn it!

Floyd is an amazing cook and he sometimes lets his children be involved like chopping some vegetables or stirring the macaroni. He sometimes teaches them the perfect way of doing it or let's them try doing their own meal with his assistance. There was one time they decided to make one of the weirdest food combinations and try to eat it, he won and ate it all as it was too gross for the kids to eat it. It's not gonna be a surprise if everyone in this household is an expert cook when Floyd is here.

If possible, he really wants to bring his kids at work no matter how troublesome they could get. If Azul has a "bring your kids to work" day (which I doubt of him doing), he's going to bring all his children no matter how many he has. If there's no day like that, who cares! He's bringing his kids anyway and nobody's stopping him. Sure, he will get scolded by Azul but if that's the only thing stopping him then he'll take his chances.

I don't if it's still Christmas or not since I don't celebrate it but if it's still is, Merry Christmas! 🎉 I'll just say this is a Christmas gift for you and your friend, Mouaietaru! Especially for that Jamil and Silver fanfic that you made. It's very good, keep up the fantastic work! ✨✨✨

-𝕸𝖎𝖗𝖎

[theunrealinsomniac]

Could you give me some Kakaanko family headcanons?

You know what? This tremendously wholesome. Yes, yes I can do this.

Let's keep the trend of three going shall we?

KakaAnko Family Headcanon #1: Kakashi is a spectacular father.

He is kind, patient, loving and very, very funny.

But his way of teaching is questionable at best and Anko sometimes forgets that this man of hers tied Naruto to a tree trunk to teach three preteens a lesson in teamwork.

He gets his lessons across, but he's not afraid to go to extremes if he thinks a lesson has to be taught.

This approach is why Anko found Rei, their eldest daughter, sat on the top of their roof, hiding behind a chimney, badly, one time after coming home from shopping.

She tried to call up to her daughter, but was sharply shushed and took that to mean she needed to go remind her husband not to scare the children.

Rei didn't come down for over an hour and Anko never did find out what lesson Kakashi had been trying to teach her.

KakaAnko Family Headcanon #2: Kakashi and Anko have two daughters. For now, I've not decided if that's it yet.

Rei, the above mentioned roof hider, and Enoki, her baby sister. The age gap between them is about five years. Anko was not prepared to go through another pregnancy until Rei was at least three.

While some women love being pregnant, find it a very wonderful experience and just glow with warmth the entire time, Anko decidedly did not.

She hated being pregnant, and was exceptionally glad when it was over. It wasn't vanity either, she shed her baby weight for the most part and the extra weight she kept filled her out in a way she was very happy with.

But god being pregnant in the last half was hell for her. She hated being so reliant on someone else, even Kakashi, but even that she could stomach, he was her husband.

But when the hormones made her taste buds freak out to the point that she couldn't stand the taste of dango ... yeah. She was fully prepared to not have another baby after Rei.

Enoki exists because Anko changed her mind when her little girl asked her if she was ever going to have a little brother or sister like some of her friends. She'd have given the girl as many siblings as her body could in that moment.

Because Anko is weak to the demands of her daughters when they do the puppy dog eyes. They look too much like their dad when they do that.

KakaAnko Family Headcanon #3: Kakashi was horrified to discover that his baby daughter was scared of him when he wore a mask.

They couldn't figure out why but whenever he approached Enoki, cos Rei had no issue with the mask, she would cry if he was wearing a mask.

And that is how Kakashi was forced to stop wearing a mask. Because it made his infant daughter cry when she couldn't see her Daddy's face.

There you go! These probably won't be quite as long as some of my other headcanons, mostly because I am still fleshing out what my characters are like as parents atm.

This is why the amounts of kids and age differences are in flux, trust nothing on the number and ages of children, or descriptions until they appear in actual stories and not headcanons lol.

Be extra dubious of any non-NaruSaku kids not in stories already. They are prone to change lol.

Thanks for asking!

[one-pissed-off-child]

Only A Fool

I have been here for 300 years.

Anyway, here you go.

Phillipe didn’t listen to Camille.

He was tired, true (in this same moment, a thousand lifetimes away, he would have been much too tired and much too sullen to put up a fuss) and he had a long journey ahead of him. But Phillipe had given everything to this island. His years, his family’s funds, his dedication, and now he would give his children. He was owed, at least, a chance to see them for the first and last time.

So he went.

When his wife laid down to rest, still weary from the tribulations of birth, and when the old midwife stepped outside to fetch a bundle of calming herbs at the king’s behest, Phillipe went to see his daughters.

As he stepped into the hall, Phillipe came to the stark realization that he had no idea where the nursery was. In all the hours that they'd been here, Willa had not bothered to show him where the babes would be kept. Why would she? He was never meant to see them after all. They weren’t his to see.

But still, he searched undeterred, and eventually, he came across a room a few doors down from Camille’s birthing chamber, barred by an expertly crafted door engraved with three black roses. Beautiful flowers marked with the color of death. How symbolic.

Pushing into the room, Phillipe was reminded of the brief moment of calm that often comes within the eye of a storm. He felt himself relax as he took in the domesticity of it all.

Sunlight gently streamed in through the window, falling on three bassinets to the side of the room. He felt a small smile split his face as he approached the cradles. Seeing the small forms sleeping peacefully inside filled him with indescribable joy, he wished he knew their names. Phillipe’s smile morphed into a frown. He should know their names.

He started with the one cuddling the cloud pillow. Scooping her tiny form into his arms was a surreal experience. She barely weighed anything at all and staring down at her little face almost gave him the sensation of floating. It was often said that the queens retained no physical traits from their parents before them but he could see that this one had his jawline and ears. She would grow up to be beautiful.

Phillipe kissed her brow before settling her back into place.

The next one did not look much like him, although he could see a bit of Camille in the roundness of her face and himself in her strong nose. However, as he gently lifted the little girl out from underneath her horrid mobile, it quickly became clear the similarities between them lay in their personalities. He chuckled softly as she squirmed in his arms. His mother often told stories of how fitful Phillipe was as a child, even when asleep. His restlessness did not subside much as he grew older but rather worsened. All up until now in his manhood he had trouble keeping still. Phillipe suspected this child would be the same.

He pinched the tiny hand that slipped out of the swaddle and nearly cried when it latched around his fingers.

He tenderly set the second child down, careful to avoid disturbing -or touching- the dead reptiles, and turned his attention to the final cradle.

This last child was not like him in appearance nor mannerisms. She was so still that Phillipe almost feared for her health until he saw the healthy flush in her face. And she did not look like him at all but, he noted with no small amount of pride, she was almost the mirror image of Camille. Smallest out of the three by far, this one had to be the youngest.

Just as he kissed her cheek and prepared to set her down, big, black doll-like eyes suddenly fluttered open. He froze.

She didn't immediately start wailing like he assumed her to. In fact, she stared at him almost expectantly. As if she were waiting for him to do something. It almost felt like...a request.

To his credit, Phillipe did try to leave. Told himself to go before his traitorous thoughts could continue entertaining a notion that would likely get him killed. Yet still, even as his rational mind tried to reason with his body, he felt himself crumple to the floor. Those eyes that were so much like Camille's turned his legs to anchors.

There is a saying amongst the people of Fennbirn. At first glance, it seemed a strange one given this island’s seemingly unconditional adoration of their triplet queens. But the years taught him better.

Only a fool could love a queen

Then he truly must be the king of fools to have fallen in love with four of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Camille shot up with a gasp. Cold sweat ran down her forehead in rivulets. She gripped the sheets like a lifeline. She felt like throwing up. Camille groaned at the intense pounding in her skull. She hadn’t been able to sleep properly since her...victory.

Sleep. How could she? How could she when the ghosts of her sisters screamed in her ear; when she saw their dead and dying faces every time she closed her eyes; when the memories of her early days returned to her and all she could think of is the sweet little girls in those memories and how she murdered them?

Camille shook herself. Now was not time for regret. It wouldn’t do much good for anyone either way; what’s done is done is done. She was so close to everything she had dreamed of for seven years.  She could start over; live the life she had always wanted from the beginning. All she had to do was walk away and never turn back.

Yet, when she searched for her dream's face, she did not see him.

A cold pit of dread formed in her stomach.

Camille called for him, hoping he had simply stepped out for air. No answer. The pit in her stomach grew larger.

She desperately wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps he just went to get some water or if not that then to get a better pillow or if not that then to use the chamber pot. One by one she checked the kitchen, each of the bedrooms, and the bathroom, and one by one they all were deemed empty.

Once it became evident that her husband was nowhere else in the house, Camille slowly made her way to the nursery. She pointedly ignored the bittersweet feelings that rose marked door summoned within her as she made her way into the room.

Inside, she found her husband, sitting on the ground and cradling one of the baby queens against his chest. Camille sighed heavily and approached the pair. She carded a hand through his auburn curls.

He looked up at her and- oh

He was crying.

Her love, soft-hearted though he may be, was not a well-known crier.

Pursing her lips, she carefully settled down next to him. "Come now, darling. Let us find Willa." But he was already shaking his head. He looked back at the child in his arms.

"I- I can't do this Camille. I'm sorry."

Camille's hand slipped from his hair to his shoulder as she dredged up every last ounce of patience her tired body possessed. "I know this is hard for you but it's simply how we do things here. I promise that once we get to the mainland-"

“Did you hold them? Did you even touch them?”

“Phillipe-”

“Take her, Camille.”

Camille did not take her. “You’ve known that this would happen for years. I’ve told you time and time again that you can’t get attached. This is why I told you not to go. ”

"I can't just leave my daughters-"

"They aren't your daughters," Camille said gently, "They belong to the island and the Goddess only."

Phillipe tensed. "So you truly believe that it's right for us to just sail away and go about our lives knowing what they'll be subjected to here? That it's right to just hand them over after everything these people have done to you?"

“It is my duty as queen”, Camille said mechanically. She wasn’t even sure if they were her words (they weren’t. Not really).

“They’ve taken so much from us. I hear the way you cry out for your sisters at night. I've seen the scars on your arms and back. The Arrons, the temple, this entire damned island, they have given you nothing, nothing but heartache and pain. And as thanks for your suffering, you'd give them our children to torture?"

"They are not our children!", She snapped, then softer, "Please, enough of this. You know the island won't let them go. We can have a real family on the mainland."

Phillipe just sadly shook his head again. "I can't be with someone who would abandon her own daughters to a life of misery. If you force me to choose between you and them- it's them. I'm sorry", and Camille's heart shattered.

He finally turned from the infant to her. "I don't want to choose, please don't make me choose." He took her hand and rested it on the child's -Katharine, she numbly recalled- head. "This is our family. Don't let the island tear it apart."

Everything Phillipe was saying went against the very person Camille had been taught to be. What the temple taught her of being a vessel for the Goddess on earth. What the Arrons taught her about succeeding no matter what. The things Phillipe was suggesting were blasphemous and damn near sacrilegious (but she had stopped praying a long time ago). To go along with it would be to burn down years of meticulous planning. To spit in the face of all the teachings Camille received.

She looked from Phillipe and his pleading eyes to Mirabella and Arsinoe, blissfully sleeping through the turmoil in the room, to little Katharine, whose eyes and nose looked so much like her own.

Queens never pass on physical traits

She was tired of following the rules.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Black Cottage was small, although it was not actually a cottage. Hidden away in the forest and surrounded by undergrowth, it was not an easy place to find, let alone reach. Few people were privy to the cottage’s exact location and every one except the queens were sworn to secrecy on pain of execution. This, of course, was to allow the Midwife to raise the ascending queens in peace as well as protect them in those few vulnerable years where they were not constantly guarded by a powerful foster family. The meticulous position now worked to their advantage as Queen and King rushed to secure the baby girls in the back of Willa’s old but sturdy wagon.

Phillipe tied down the wicker baskets that held his daughters with the rope they found in the kitchen while Camille shackled Willa's fastest horse, Sarin, to the front of the wagon.

Phillipe stopped suddenly. "Wait, should we bring nappies?"

Camille blinked. "What? You mean soil cloths?"

"Yes, who is going to change them?"

"I'd reckon you know more about these things than I do."

"But you're-"

She shot him a withering look. "I'm what? A woman?"

"Smarter than me", he finished.

Camille just rolled her eyes. "We can figure all that out once we're on the road. I'll go get the cloths." He nodded as Camille finished attending to the horses and turned back towards the house.

She stopped.

There in the meadow stood Willa. This was the first time Camille's seen her since the birthing. She had completely forgotten about her pseudo mother. Behind her, a small gasp indicated that Phillipe had similarly forgotten about the only other person in the house.

“Camille-”

“Get in the wagon.” She sucked in a breath and righted herself with a confidence she did not feel. “I will handle this.”

Still, Phillipe glanced between her and the old Midwife as though he expected Willa to summon a dagger out of thin air and bury it in Camille's eye. Knowing of the old woman's history as a poisoner, Camille could not even say his concern was unfounded. But he finally nodded once and got in the coach's seat.

She approached Willa with her head held high

Willa smiled as she drew near. "You were going to make off with my only wagon and best horse without even a goodbye? The gall of this generation."

Camille didn't know what to say. She stayed silent as she eyed the bag Willa had slung over her shoulder. Noticing the younger woman's tension, Willa's smile fell away.

"Relax girl. I'm not going to beat you to death with a rucksack." Her eyes hardened, "And I'm not going to try and stop you either."

Now Camille's silence was tinged with an air of shock.

"Those six years I spent raising the three of you were the happiest years of my life. I treasured every moment I spent watching you and Arden play in the river. Eating those horrible cookies that Nautica baked every winter," Willa raised one wrinkled hand to Camille's cheek. She didn't pull away. "You girls were the most important things in my life even after those black carriages came and took you away."

"I collected every piece of news about you three I could find. I celebrated every victory with you and every time I heard of Nautica's escapades with her multiple spouses or of Arden's ridiculous spars with the warriors from Bastian, I would think of our time here together."

"The pain I felt when I heard of their passing was the worst than anything I had ever experienced. I prayed I would not live long enough to feel it again."

Camille couldn't help it. Tears blurred her vision as she whispered, "I killed them."

Willa nodded. "You did."

"I remember their faces. I remember the river, the cookies, all of it." Camille shook as she wept, "And I killed them."

"And now-", Willa said as she wiped her tears, "You will ensure no little girls are forced to kill their sisters ever again."

"You failed your sisters and I failed the three of you. Do not fail your daughters." Camille nodded against Willa's hand.

Willa again smiled briefly.

“I’ll send for the houses in two hours. It will take one hour for the word to reach all of them and another three or so for the carriages to arrive. I suspect that should be just enough time for you to reach the landing. Provided you take the back roads of course.”

“I-yes. That should be enough.”

“Good. Now then,” She handed Camille the sack she had brought. Inside were blankets, soil cloths, medicinal herbs, clothes for infants, and a collection of peculiar items that she assumed were to the girls entertained. And quiet.

"Thank you", said Camille, and she meant it from the depths of her soul.

"A child needs not to thank her mother for doing a mother's duty." Then mother and daughter embraced for the last time. Camille stiffened as she pulled away.

“You’ll be-” executed. Brutally. Painfully.

The old crone just smiled. “I will be fine.” It was a lie.

The Midwife turned around and slowly made her way back into the house. Camille watched until her back disappeared behind the door before walking back to her husband and daughters.

To her family.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jonathan Blackburn is a family man at heart.

Whenever his sister needed help wrangling her massive brood of eight, Jonathan was there. Whenever his mother needed him to drive the cattle because one of the work hands fell sick, Jonathan was there. And when Phillipe came to him seven years ago and told him of his plans to go to the legendary island of Fennbirn and pursue one of their triplet queens well, what other choice did Jonathan have than to go with him?

You could start a family of your own you know, Phillipe had said.

And Jonathan replied, How could I trust myself to start a new one if I can't take care of the one I have now?

So, when his little brother arrived at the landing three hours early in an old wagon with his wife at his side and a slumbering newborn in his arms, Jonathan took one look at his pleading face and called for the captain to take to sea.

Not a word was passed between them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Goddess took being robbed of her new queens about as well as Camille expected her to.

Within thirty minutes of leaving Bernadine's Landing, a vicious storm descended upon the mighty Rapshire, and thus, the battle began.

If there was one silver lining in this whole debacle, it's that every man aboard this ship was a mainlander. Not one of them batted an eye when she and Phillipe carried the girls aboard.

But as it goes, if there's an upside then there's a downside. No matter how good of a crew these men were, they were simply no match for the ferocity of the typhoon. There were many times in her life when Camille wished to be an elemental but none more so than today.

Down in the underbelly, Camille listened to the stomping and shouting above her head as the men tried everything in their power to keep the ship afloat. Phillipe was up there too, shouting orders with the rest of them.

A particularly strong gust of wind threatened to capsize the ship altogether and the young mother desperately kept hold of her children while struggling to stay sitting upright. Camille winced as the wails of Arsinoe and Katharine rose to match the crashing of thunder.

The eldest of the baby queens simply laughed. Where Camille greened every time the boat was violently rocked by the waves, Mirabella shrieked in delight and flapped her little arms about as if she were the one bringing this storm down on their heads.

Camille huffed. Elementals.

Once again, the ship rocked so violently that it was everything Camille could do to keep a tight grip on the baskets. She felt something slip out of her pocket and clatter to the ground. She looked down at it and paled.

A vile of nightshade. Willa had pressed it into her hand during their embrace. Such a poison was much too weak to have any effect on Camille. There was no question of who it was for.

You will ensure no little girls are forced to kill their sisters ever again.

Somehow she managed to grasp the vile with a shaking hand. She swallowed as she considered the task before her. Killing two teenage girls whose faces she hardly remembered was difficult enough but three infants?

Yet, letting the Goddess sweep them back to the island would be just as damning. A small bit of nightshade is incomparable to the suffering that the Arrons would inflict on Arsinoe. And Mirabella, she would be forced to live through the deaths and haunting memories of her sisters as Camille is. She uncorked the vile.

Yes, this is the kinder fate. A death by nightshade would be quick and painless. At her young age, not even Arsinoe's poisoner gift could protect her from a toxin this deadly.

She only wished that she could have made their last moments as joyous for her two youngest as they were for Mirabella.

Slowly, she kissed each of the girls goodbye. The silence was deafening as she pressed the vile to Katharine's lips and made to tip it back.

Silence?

Camille snatched the nightshade away before a drop of liquid could spill over.

The cabin was suddenly still. There was no booming thunder overhead. No screaming wind that nearly knocked them clean over. She couldn't even hear the rain anymore. It was as if the storm had never happened at all.

Camille dared to let herself hope.

And when Phillipe rushed downstairs to practically slam his mouth into hers, she knew her dreams finally came true

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun on her skin was a blessing after being cooped up in that tiny cabin for what felt like hours. If the pleased cooing was anything to go by, it seemed Katharine agreed.

An arm wrapped around her waist and her husband and brother-in-law joined her at the bow of the ship. Each of them held her other two children.

Phillipe observed them with proud eyes. He stared down at his daughter in his arms as if she were the most perfect this in the world.

Phillipe looked at her again and she saw tears in his eyes for the second time in seven years.

"What are their names?"

Camille smiled through her own tears. "She-", Camille said, nodding to the babe in Phillipe's arms, "-is Mirabella. The eldest." The new father beamed.

She gestured to Jonathan. "She is Arsinoe. Middle child."

Jonothan grinned down at his wiggling niece. "Hello, little Arsinoe. I am your uncle Jon. I can already tell you're going to be as much of a handful as your father is."

"And this is Katharine. She is the youngest." Camille pressed a kiss to Katharine's head.

Phillipe repeated their names in order under his breath. Then louder and louder still until he was shouting at the top of his lungs.

"THEIR NAMES ARE MIRABELLA, ARSINOE, AND KATHARINE! I'M A FATHER!"

Jonathan whooped. "You heard him, gents! Hats off to the new parents!"

Camille laughed like she never had before as each and every man on board cheered and flung their hats into the ocean. Those that didn't have hats took the shirts off their backs and whipped them over their heads like madmen.

Distantly, the part of her that still thought of Fennbirn as home wondered what would happen to the island without its queens. Perhaps the people would learn to move on without them, even as their gifts faded. Or maybe the Goddess, in a fit of self-righteous anger, would turn her ire on the island that she’d birthed. Maybe she would command the seas to rise and swallow Fennbirn whole. Send a storm three times as terrible as the one she inflicted on Camille's family to wash everyone and everything away.

But as she watched her husband dance and cry and laugh and kiss their daughter all over her face, Camille found that she could not bring herself to care.

[colehasapen]

(ONE SHOT) haastal STAR WARS

Rating: T

Warnings: Past Character Death, Child Death, Blood, PTSD

(belated) Comfortember no.11 - PTSD

There had been a village, once, small and unimportant and innocent, on a planet Bly couldn’t even remember the name of. Life would have been simple there, happy, with children playing in the streets, unafraid in their simple little community. Bly can imagine them in his mind’s eye, farming and selling their wares, and living in harmony with their neighbours, unaffected by the War and feeling safe in their anonymity. There was nothing there for the Separatists to take, no reason for anyone to bother them, but they had been in the way. The clankers had burned the village, razed it to the ground, and left the remains for the 327th to comb through as they followed the tracks they left behind.

Bly still remembers the smell of rot lingering in his nose and clinging to his armour, he remembers listlessly searching for survivors with his men and knowing deep down that there wouldn’t be any. It had been a message, a threat, meant to demoralize the men that fought in the War.

There were so many bodies, but he’d seen so many in his life that he had become disconnected and numb to the horror. One, however, had stuck with him over the years.

There had been a Twi’lek in the ruins of a collapsed farmhouse, dried blood pooled around the still body and staining their blue skin. The stomach had been heavy and round with an advanced pregnancy, and Bly - well, Bly had panicked.

He had lunged forward, could still remember the burn in his knees and back from the weight of his armour, and he had pulled out a blade. All he could think about was trying to save the baby, trying to have one sign of life in all the horribleness of death that surrounded him all the time. He had just wanted to save someone, to have proof that it was all worth it. He hadn’t known then, that the unborn infant was already dead, hadn’t realized that it would have suffocated when it’s carrier died.

Bly hadn’t known that there was nothing to save.

Aayla had found him, had sensed his distress, and the sight she had come across had been a gruesome one. He’d been covered in blood that was too old to run down his armour, staring blankly at the wall, a dead infant in his stained hands. He still remembers the child that would never live, that must have been so badly wanted by the existence of the nursery tucked away and mockingly undamaged by the destruction. If the village hadn’t been attacked, it would have been born within the month; it had been small and cold in his hands, with four perfectly formed limbs, two little nubs that would never grow into lekku, and no life at all running through its small chest.

He had cried then, when Aayla had taken the corpse from him, her expression mournful as she’d held it with such natural care and gentleness. She had held him, uncaring of the blood on his armour, and had let him sob into her shoulder. She had guided him from that ruined farm when he’d had no tears left to cry, had let him bury the carrier and child together, and she had carved a stone to mark their grave. It was doubtful that anyone would live there again. That anyone would visit that grave on a small farm in an unimportant village, but Bly remembers. He’d tucked them into his memories, and carried them with him so that they would be eternal. He’d remembered that blue Twi’lek and the child that would never live, and they haunted him.

Now he remembers that body, and he sees Aayla in their place, and the nightmares grow worse as her pregnancy progresses. He sees her laying dead on the floor, their child in her arms, the both of them grey with death. Most times, his mind tortures him with the image of them dead by his hands, and the worst part of it is that it could have happened. If Fives hadn’t discovered the chips, hadn’t revealed the Sith’s plot, then Bly would have killed them.

He wakes up sweating more often than not, feeling his riduur ’s blood on his hands and seeing their bodies everywhere he turns. He wakes up in the large bed in the apartment he shares with his wife in the Jedi Temple, with a warm body pressed against his own and sleepy hazel-pink eyes watching him with loving worry.

“Are you alright, Bly?” Aayla asks, trailing a strong hand across his chest, feeling his racing heart. Her Ryl accent is thicker in the morning, just one of the little things about her that he had fallen in love with. A gentle kiss is pressed against his broad shoulder, and Bly rolls over onto his back, dislodging his wife from her place against his spine, reaching up with one hand to grab hers, the other moving to press against the swell of their child growing inside of her.

His chest is heaving, limbs shaking. He can still feel it all, all the terror and the horror. It had been so much worse that night, the dreams even more horrific despite the amazing news they had gotten the day before. They would be having a daughter , a little girl to love and protect and teach; she was growing healthy and strong, and soon Bly would get to meet her.

And yet he still dreams of killing them both, so what does that make Bly? Unable to be happy, only scared of what he could do to them; what kind of horrible person is he?

Aayla continues watching him, squeezing his hand to draw him back from his dark thoughts. “Bly,” she says quietly, “where did you go?”

“I’m still here.” His voice is rough, painful to hear, and like he had been screaming. Aayla stares at him, probing and searching, and he offers her a shaky smile. “Just memories, I haven’t left you.”

Aayla curls closer to him, letting a lek splay across his neck, tickling him with each expressive twitch as she presses a kiss to his jaw and rests her chin on his shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it, ma sareen Bly?” She asks, “Your mind is troubled.”

Bly lets out a shuddering breath, the phantom scent of blood on his tongue. “Do you remember that farm?” He blurts, grip tightening on his riduur ’s hand, “The one with - with the nursery?”

Aayla’s expression softens even further, eyes lighting with pained sympathy. “Oh, Bly.” She breathes, moving a second hand to press against the one Bly is resting on her stomach. There’s a flutter of movement under his palm, their daughter moving under Aayla’s skin, and Bly feels tears springing into his eyes.

There’s not really much either can say, but the silence is comforting.

“I’m sorry that you had to experience that Bly.” His riduur whispers, and Bly slides his eyes away from her exposed stomach to meet her gentle gaze. “You didn’t deserve that, no one does.”

“I keep seeing it - what happened there.” Bly chokes out, throat full of glass, and tears hot on his skin. “But it’s you now - you and the ik’aad .” He shivers, and Aayla’s lek smooths across his shoulder, comforting and soft. “And - and it’s my fault - the chip - it took over.”

“The chip is gone, dearest Bly.” Aayla moves a hand from his chest to brush against the scar on his temple that Bly, like many of his vode , had decided to keep, as a reminder. “Nothing will happen. Our little one will come into this world, and she won’t know war beyond the pages of her history books, we made sure of it.”

“I know.” Bly whispers, leaning into her hand as she moves her touch from his temple to his cheek, tracing the golden tattoos that put him apart from his brothers, and she presses down pointedly over her stomach, letting him feel their child moving under their palms, interlacing their fingers.

“I’m still here, Bly.” She promises, “We’re all still here - you’d never hurt us.” Bly sniffles in response, and Aayla leans closer, gently kissing away his tears. “You’ll be an amazing father.” She whispers against his skin, a promise and a prophecy, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He murmurs, “Both of you.”

Aayla smiles against his cheek, quickly gifting him with a sweet, lingering kiss on his lips. “We’ll go see the mind healers in the morning.”

“Okay.” Bly whispers, letting her guide him into rolling onto his side once more, melting into her warmth as she curls around him like a protective shield, kissing the back of his neck. “Thank you.”

“Any time, my love.”

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